#he's the only person ive felt comfortable to come out to and he's been supportive of me throughout the years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

morgana-larkin · 20 days

Note

Me againnnn lmao I have another request could u do Melissa x reader where reader is normally quiet but someone brought up their special interest and everyone is kinda weirded out coz reader gets so happy and starts talking about it and sharing facts and stuff but no one except Melissa knows reader is autistic and someone says something mean to reader and she gets upset and Melissa comforts reader and also stands up for her (as always no pressure I’m so so so happy! u r the first person that iv come across who writes fics about Melissa and autistic reader I get so happy when I see a notification from u i literally jump up and down with happiness and your fics really help me to accept im autistic coz I’m still trying to come to terms with it anyway hope u r doing well🫶)

OMG YES! Info dumping! I love it. And I’m so glad my fics are helping you. Feel free as well to message me directly if you ever want. So my other obsession besides Lisa Ann Walter, is Doctor Who and Jodie Whittaker, so of course I chose to have the reader talk about her as the Doctor… I regret nothing 😊. I went a little extra at the end but I’m too gay for Melissa to care. Anyway, I enjoyed writing this so thank you for the prompt and I hope you like it! As always, not edited in the slightest.

For everyone, feel free to keep sending me prompts, and I was thinking about writing a one shot about Cheesy as there’s not enough imo. Let me know if I should or not.

Title based off the song from Shrek 3 and the Italian word stronzo means asshole.

Thank You for Letting Me Be Myself

Warnings: someone is mean to reader, reader struggling with having autism(small part)

Words: 2.3k

You’re sitting in the break room at the table with Barb and Melissa. You get up to get a coffee and when you do you hear someone starting to talk about Doctor Who and you perk up.

You turn around to see Jacob, Mr. Morton and another teacher talking about it. “You guys watch Doctor Who?” You say and they stop talking and look up at you. Normally you’re quiet and don’t really say much as you’re recharging before you go and have to teach your kiddos again.

“Yes, do you watch it?” Jacob asks you and you nod with a big smile. Melissa looks up at you and sees your smile and she can’t help but smile herself. She’s had a crush on you since about 4 months after you started and it’s almost been 9 months that you’re working here.

“Well come here and share your thoughts about it.” Jacob says and you walk over to them, coffee in hand.

“What exactly is your discussion about?” You ask them.

“About the first female doctor, the 13th doctor.” Mr. Morton says and you keep smiling.

“She’s my favourite doctor! Like she’s so enthusiastic and passionate and she just loves everything about what she does! And she’s so funny too, it’s just a joy to watch Jodie play her!” You start and they look at you confused, wondering why you’ve always been quiet but now you’re talkative.

The truth is, you're autistic and the only one that knows is Melissa and she promised not to tell anyone since it’s your secret not hers. You told her because you felt like you kept missing social cues or taking things too literally, so you wanted someone in your corner to help you and she had no problem doing that for you. She looks at you talking so passionately about your favourite show with a smile and heart eyes before going back to her phone, secretly still listening to you.

“And her Tardis is so amazing, oh and her companion’s compliment her so well, and her outfit looks amazing. Did you know that Jodie helped decide on the outfit to support the LGBTQ community since she’s a huge ally. And also…” and you keep going on for about 5 minutes about how much you love the 13th doctor and her era on Doctor Who. Until the other teacher, you don’t know their name, the one Mr. Morton and Jacob were talking too, says something.

“OMG! Would you please shut up!” He says and you quickly shut your mouth. “I preferred it when you didn’t speak at all.” He says, glaring at you. And you look down at the ground, embarrassed before running out of there.

Melissa looked up when he started speaking and is now getting up and walking over to them. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that. You should count yourself lucky that I won’t contact one of my guys on you.” She says and looks at Jacob. “Why didn’t you say anything?!?” She says to him “or you?” She says to Mr. Morton.

“Sorry Melissa, it all happened so fast.” Mr. Morton says and Jacob nods in agreement.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” She says to the teacher that was mean to you.

“Hey, we were just sitting here talking about it until she cuts in and starts talking about everything that we weren’t even discussing. And she wouldn’t stop talking.” The teacher says , only making a deeper hole for himself. Melissa glares at him.

“I don’t care what you think! There’s better ways to do that!” She says to him.

“She shouldn’t have talked so much and knew that it was too much.” He says, still trying to defend himself.

“She’s autistic you stronzo!” She yells at him and then realises that she just told your secret and has wide eyes. All 3 of them look at her speechless, now understanding that you got excited and were info dumping and didn’t mean to talk so much. Melissa turns around and walks out of the break room and goes to find you.

She ends up finding you in your classroom crying on your chair, hugging your legs. She knocks on the door, “hey y/n it’s me, just wanted to come check on you.” She tells you.

You get up and unlock the door then open it. Melissa’s heart breaks a bit when she sees you. Eyes puffy, red and watery, tear stained cheeks and red nose from you blowing your nose.

“Oh hun.” She says and you walk back to your chair hugging your legs again. Melissa walks in and closes and locks the door then walks over to your desk. “Hey, he was an ass, he shouldn’t have said that to you.” Melissa tells you and crouches down and you look at her.

“No, he’s right, I was talking too much. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in their conversation. I just got so excited,” you tell her and you sniffle a bit.

“Hun, it’s understandable, I know how much you love Doctor Who. You have nothing to be ashamed about.” She tells you and grabs your hand. “Btw I might have accidentally told them that you’re autistic. As in I told them and called that teacher a stronzo for you.” She tells you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to slip out, I just got angry that he was mean to you.” She says, rubbing your hand with her thumb.

“It’s ok, they would have found out eventually. But this is another reason I don’t engage in conversations, cause I might talk too much.” You tell her. Melissa gets up and opens her arms out.

“Come here.” She tells you and motions to hug her. You put your feet down on the ground and then hug her waist since you’re still sitting in your chair. “Why don’t we go back in there, finish lunch. And then after school you can come to my place and I can make you some food and we can watch whatever you want.” She suggests and you look at her surprised.

“Really?” You ask her and she nods. “I would love that.” You tell her and she smiles. She helps you up and then unlocks the door and opens it for you. You both walk out and she sees you’re nervous about going back. She puts an arm wrapped around your back and her other hand on the arm closes to her and rubs it, providing comfort for you.

You get back in and when you enter everyone stops and looks up at you. Melissa can feel you immediately tense up. “What are all youse looking at?” She says and glares at everyone. Everyone immediately looks back down to their phone or food and continues what they were doing. Melissa leads you back to the table where Barb is and Barb gives you a comforting smile.

The teacher that was mean to you gets up and comes over to you. Melissa sees him coming over and glares at him, almost daring him to hurt you again. He has his head hanging a bit, looking embarrassed and stands beside you and you look up at him.

“Hey y/n, I just wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, I’m sorry.” He tells you and you nod your head at him. You’re too overwhelmed right now and can’t speak. You finish your lunch without saying another word and Melissa keeps glancing at you, worried about you.

You finish up the day quietly. You get the kids to work on their book report so that it’s silent and you don’t have to talk much. At the end of the day, when your last student was picked up you glance over at Melissa down the hall. You taught first grade so your classrooms are close together.

You can’t help but stare at her. She’s bending over and offering one of her students a high five before waving bye to them to go with their parent. You decide to leave now while she’s distracted, you think that maybe it wasn’t the best to get Melissa involved in your situation and shouldn’t have told her you’re autistic. So many people have had to accommodate you or help you and you feel like you should be able to do it yourself now that you’re an adult.

Melissa sees you look at her with a sad expression on your face before leaving. She can’t help but feel like maybe you won’t come over to her place now. When her last student is leaving with their parent a couple minutes later, she practically books it to the parking lot but sees your car is already gone.

She drives home and gets to work on cooking dinner, hoping you’d show. But then she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be able to make it tonight, and she sighs. She researched autism when you told her a few months ago and she knows that when autistic people get overwhelmed, they hide themselves away. She offered for you to come to her place to de-stress with food and tv, so she does the next best thing. After she finished cooking, she packed it into a container, and brought it with her to your place. She went and knocked on your door.

You answered it not too long later with leggings and loose shirt on. “Melissa? What are you doing here?” You ask her.

“Well since you won’t come over to my place, I thought I’d come to you.” She says with a warm smile and you now feel even more guilty for cancelling on her. “I brought over food I made. So either we can eat here or we can go back to my place. Choice is up to you.” She tells you with a shrug. You decide to go to her place and when you get there she gives you your favourite hoodie of hers and you sit on the couch. You’ve been to her place before and you told her that the plastic felt weird to sit on and she removed it the next day so that you’re comfortable when you go there. “Hey, you don’t have to speak but I just want to know that you’re ok.” She says and you nod. She gives you a plate of the food and you see that it’s her spaghetti and meatballs dish. Your favourite food of hers and you smile at her. She joins you on the couch, sitting next to you and then hands you the remote so you can decide what to watch, you decide on Shrek 3.

You watch the movie while eating, with Melissa right next to you, you in her hoodie, and you finally feel like you’re calming down. You put your head on her shoulder after you put your empty plate on the coffee table and she wraps her arm around you. You continue the movie, quoting some of the lines, and when it plays the ending scene with puss and donkey singing thank you, Melissa gets an idea. She guides you up and leads you to the empty space beside her couch and starts dancing with you. When the chorus comes on she sings it to you “I wanna thank you for lettin me be myself…again” She sings and you laugh. When she says the line again, she spins you while singing. The second chorus comes up “come on sing it with me.” She tells you.

The both of you sing it while dancing “I WANNA THANK YOU FOR LETTIN ME BE MYSELF…AGAIN.” You both sing at the top of your lungs. When it ends you’re both laughing and she hugs you.

“Thank you for letting me be myself.” You tell her and she looks at you with a warm smile and places a lock of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek.

“It’s not a problem hun, it doesn’t matter to me that you’re autistic you know. You just think differently, and that's alright.”

You look in her eyes and you lean forward and kiss her. Melissa kisses you back and moves her hand from your cheek to the back of your head and places her left hand on your waist. You pull back and look at her with a smile.

“You kissed me back.” You say to her and she nods. “Why?”

“Because I like you. I have for a few months now.” She tells you.

“For how long?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Around the new year.” And you look at her in shock.

“But that’s after I told you I was autistic.” You tell her, putting the pieces together. “You knew I was autistic and you still like me?” You question her.

“How would you being autistic make me not like you?” She asks you, confused.

“Because I’m different than other people and have struggles because of it.” You tell her like it’s obvious.

“So? Everyone is different in their own way and everyone has their own struggles.” She tells you. “For example, I have trouble letting people in, because of trust issues. And I can have a short temper too.” She says and you look at her with so much love in your eyes. You kiss her again and she doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back.

When the person says “you may kiss the bride” , she doesn’t hesitate to give you a kiss then either. With a huge smile, she brings you closer to her and gives you a kiss, as wife and wife.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

Let me know if you want to be added! 🙂

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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ilys00ga · 4 months

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hellooo, ur blog is such a comfort for me <3 ! can i request yoongi meeting reader who’s quite literally the same person as him. he could’ve met the reader through one of the members trying to hook them up. “you two are so alike it’s scary, i think you’d be a match made in heaven”. so yoongi agrees..eventually. but when he meets the reader, it’s horrible! their similar personalities clash in the worst way possible. it’s pretty funny to everyone, because they totally thought they were in matchmaker mode?? the two constantly talk about how they couldn’t stand each other, so it surprised everyone when yoongi just admitted that he’d and the reader had been dating for a few months after their first meeting. loll

A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

pairing: yoongi x reader.

genre: fluff, i tried to make it funny loool, best friends to lovers, non idol au (?), non idol!yoongi, non idol!jimin, non idol!namjoon, jimin is the dramatic bestie and namjoon is just the very supportive friend that's happy to be there.

warnings: this is pure fiction and English is not my first language.

A/N: okay so, there was also this one ask I got from @parkjennykim that says: "Hiiii ❤️ hope this finds you well. Could you write a fluffy bsf to lovers with yoongi? Theres hardly any of those out there 😭 i need some fluff ive been too deprived and depressed".

I thought these two were similar so I decided to merge them, I hope that's ok for both of u :). thank u sm for sending these reqs, I really appreciate it and I hope u enjoy this read. do not hesitate to send more if u want to !

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

“I'm sorry, WHAT?!” Jimin, who’d been slouched on the couch with his head leaning against its rolled arm, sat up straight and goggle-eyed as soon as he heard what Yoongi had said.

The latter only rolled his eyes, not surprised one bit at his friend’s dramatic reaction. In fact, he expected it to be so much worse, but he guessed the younger one was just too tired that day for all of that. “don’t be loud.” he hissed and crossed his arms.

“hyung, are you serious?” Namjoon asked from where he was sitting with his chopsticks hanging in the air near his mouth as he too was stunned by the eldest’s statement.

“why the hell would i lie and say that me and __ have been dating for almost two months now?” Yoongi muttered through narrowed his eyes. "TWO MONTHS- woah, this is crazy. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” The youngest of the three covered his face with his hands and heaved a big, disappointed sigh.

“Seriously, why is he so annoying today?”

Namjoon chuckled as the older continued side eyeing their dongsaeng, “hyung, he’s just really happy for you. I too am.”

“I’m very happy, yes, but, hyung, how could you hide such a thing from me? I literally helped you grow the balls to ask her out.” Jimin whined and slouched back down on the couch with a growing pout, “I've been waiting for you two to get together for months.”

It's true, Jimin was a man on a mission ever since he’d noticed the insanely similar character traits when you and your (now) boyfriend met for the very first time. two individual human beings but the exact same patterns and edges. on a large scale, talking to you always felt like talking to Yoongi and vice versa.

It was like a game to him. It made him buzz with excitement, reminding himself every now and then to keep a close eye and count all the similarities you two shared. not that it was hard to notice to begin with: having almso the exact same taste (especially in music), always sitting silently when being around other people and speaking little amounts of words when necessary, getting flustered and smiling shyly when being complimented, being chill and too soft to scold or yell at anyone (most of the time), having that same slow tone in your voices whenever you talk, having random bursts of energy or playful teasing despite the cold facade both of you display, getting so talkative when it comes to topics and things you’re so passionate about, being very honest but never too rude or offensive about it, being the most hardworking people jimin has probably ever met in his entire life—something that nevers fails to admire about the two of you.

You and Yoongi were so similar, even your bad habits and red flags matched. When setting your mind on finishing a task—say a project for example—you’d wear your bodies out for the sake of completing it, even if it meant you’d stay up several hours late during the night. and when mad or during intense clashes and arguments, you would put thick walls between you and the other person, ignoring and shutting them out until you're human enough to confront them. sometimes it’s too hard to even apologize, instead, you’d slowly start approaching them as if nothing had happened at all.

“No wonder you two ended up together, you’re basically a match made in heaven.” Namjoon nodded his head as he munched on his food, as if approving of his own statement.

“i know! and the way you wasted your time pinning on each other was killing me.” being the biggest shipper of your pair, Jimin huffed as he spoke with a very serious tone.

“how did you guys even make it?” namjoon asked.

“We hit it off right after the first date.” Yoongi answered with a shrug, acting as nonchalant as ever.

“you mean the date i had set for you?” it was jimin who asked this time, and when Yoongi nodded in confirmation, the younger groaned and buried his face into the couch, “hyung, you are seriously the worst.”

“hyung, you both are coffee addicts, take her to a new café this time!” Jimin suggested with a huge grin on his face. after finding out that you two secretly liked each other, he spent weeks pressuring Yoongi to confess his feelings for you. He couldn’t believe that his hyung finally obliged after many “no”s and “I don’t like __ that way.”s and “we’re just friends.”s. it was getting really annoying.

YG: “Can we hang out tomorrow? as two people wanting to know each other.”

ME: “Are you asking me on a date?”

YG: “yeah?”

ME: “okay :)”

that was the conversation you had with him the day before he took you on a cute café date. The place was impressively good, but the date was the complete opposite of that. Nothing bad happened, yet sitting down with someone you’ve known for a good period of time and have shared good amounts of vulnerability with in that intimate context was too unpleasant. Both of you struggled to find comfort and normality in the heavy awkward silence that fell on the table. and everytime he would try to play it off and throw some joke or normal piece of conversation that he found appropriate for a date, you two ended up laughing int your sweaty palms because of how ridiculous the whole situation was.

“stop laughing!” Yoongi exclaimed while his shoulders shook, giggling.

“I'm sorry, I'm trying!” you wiped at the corners of your eyes.

"Just act like this is a normal hangout.." he had said after a short moment.

"We're literally on a date." you reminded him.

“right..”

The “date” didn’t last long, and the two of you ended up at his house. eating popcorn on his couch and watching your favorite series of movies together.

Later that night, he asked, “so, what are we?”

“whatever you want us to be.” you answered with flushed cheeks.

“I like you..” he whispered, eyes never leaving the TV screen acroos the couch, "more than friends should like one another."

“Great, ‘cause I'd be sad if you didn’t like me back.” you whispered back, never daring to glance his way even for a split of a second.

“Wait, does that mean I won the bet?” Namjoon suddenly spoke, making Jimin kick him lightly on the shoulder from where he was still lying with a sour frown, and toss a few dollars he had grabbed from his wallet at the smiling man's extended palm.

“Did you two seriously make a bet on my relationship?” came a sharp question from Yoongi.

#yoongi #yoongi scenarios #bts #yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fic #bts army #bts yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi fic #friends to lovers

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sun-stricken · 5 months

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Don’t have to answer if it’s not your style, but headcannons for overprotective dragon slayers to new demon slayer gray?

Random person: you’re all dragon slayers?

Slayers: yeah, why?

Random person points to gray: why’s he here?

Slayers: he’s adopted

anon you have no idea how much i love you for asking this, ive been waiting for an excuse to do this, i am a SLUT for anyone and anything being overprotective of Gray

i don’t believe in canon or timelines so use ur imagination

i like to think of Gray as person practically everybody ends up really liking, and a total cat magnet.

And dragon slayers r just big cats. So Gray already had close friendships with them

so when they realized ‘holy shit hes like us now’ their protective instincts went in overdrive

Natsu, Wendy, & Sting didnt even try to hide it; constantly trying to make sure hes comfortable and felt safe and didnt sit alone confused and scared by all these new things he has to deal with

Natsu definitely drags him onto impromptu jobs and fishing trips with Happy, in an effort to get away from people, or just so they can spend time together, the reason is unclear

i think dragon slayers as a whole are like violently touch starved, and thats what Sting focused on mostly.

he would drape himself over Gray when he felt like the other needed or wanted it but wouldnt ask

it helped Gray get more comfortable for sure

Wendy, as a healer and friend, tried to give him every piece of advice she knew, offering remedy after remedy to help ease him into his now heightened senses

Gray tried to explain to them once that his abilities are fairly different from theirs, yes he has heightened senses, but his instincts and needs were a hell of a lot different than theirs; that only spurred them on more, making them try to research everywhere they could about demon slayers

Rogue & Gajeel were more subtle with it (not by much tho), they understood when needed it quiet, when he just wanted company without the talk

If Gray was having a hard time, whether or not it was bc of his slayer magic, Rogue would offer up Frosch and sit with him, offering silence or white noise. whatever he needed

Gajeel probably thought he was subtle but he absolutely was not, like asking Gray if he wants to run errands with him when places theyre at get too sensorially intense

he tried to ask Levy about everything she knew abt demon slayers without being too obvious, when she kept sending him knowing glances he just asked (very resigned) for some books on the matter.

there was surprisingly little

But he made do and probably studied every piece of literature there was on the matter

The others probably found out and teased him even tho they did the same thing (they also probs asked him to drop a list of books for them)

Now, Laxus really was subtle

telling Gray to go home when he was visibly pushing himself

talking about his new sound canceling headphones and then conveniently leaving them near Gray

or little compliments abt how his new magic is coming along, quiet support type shit

also staring someone down to get them to shut up if they’re being too much

i feel like they turned from ‘one of our own’ protective to overprotective when they realized ppl werent as accepting of demon slayers as they were with dragon slayers

Most ppl exposure to slayer magic is limited to dragon slayers, who refer to themselves as dragons. so when a demon slayer pops up, the correlation isn’t pretty, and their actions are even worse

While Gray understands people must just scared or confused, so he doesnt blame them; he has a hoard of extremely protective dragons who think differently

Wendy had to be physically restrained by multiple people after she heard people calling Gray a monster

Natsu genuinely considered burning alive someone who refused to pay Gray after he finished up a job

Gray definitely now had scary dog privileges, the dog being every single dragon slayer he knows

Laxus zapping people who so much as look at Gray wrong, or frying whatever electronic (ik its lacrimas but work with me) device they have.

or both

Them all hyping up (in their own ways) Grays physical demon features when they start showing up

Post joint guild party at Sabertooth: some guy talking shit abt how Fairy Tail could allow a demon into their ranks, how he is gonna hurt someone. They are now guildless and only eating through a straw and a face not even a mother could love

Someone at an event giving Gray a backhanded compliment and immediately getting death stares mixed with a violent increase of magic in the air that would make the gods shudder

Remember when i said Grays a cat magnet? its not just the dragon slayers who adore him, its their exceeds too

if u asked them to list their favorite people, Gray is in the top 5 for all of them

im stealing another hc from someone and saying Gray fosters cats, and Happy may or may not of gotten jealous once or twice over the pets and scratches that were supposed to be his

If Rogue loses Frosch and Gray happens to be in town 70% they’re probs together

The incorrect quote u put is so canon in this universe btw

Gray “Honorary Dragon Slayer” Fullbuster

i have so many more but neither of us are prepared yet

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milkywaybottles · 1 year

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could you possibly do a small fic of papa iv spending time with his s/o on a rainy day? thank you!!

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A/N: Hi! Thank you for the request, love! Sorry I died for a little bit guys!

For the sake of the fic, the other Papas aren't dead! (or at least, not yet..)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Drizzle - Copia (Papa IV) x gn!Reader Oneshot

Word count: 2k

It had been raining for what seemed like a millennia, each streak of rain falling painstakingly slow against the colourful stained glass of the ministry. The clouds were threateningly dark, thunder rumbling throughout the halls followed by the occasional snap of lightning. This type of weather never bothered you, and if anything, soothed your otherwise racing mind.

It hadn't been cold, nothing of the sort, in the previous days. The air had been hot, leaving your body a sticky mess. The ministry had been caught in an unrelenting heatwave, and while the sky had been black for days, it was only on the hazy morning that the clouds finally spilt rain.

You sighed with relief as the first droplets of rain broke across your skin, welcoming the feeling with a loving embrace. All moods had picked up within the clergy, no longer followed by the tired drawl that the steamy afternoon brought. Instead, many rejoiced in the arrival of the weather, numerous Siblings of Sun deciding to strip in the rain in the name of Lucifer.

You had smiled at the idea but found it best to seek comfort from the extending window sill of your bedroom. The sill gave a perfect view through the muddied stained glass into the rose gardens outside, littered with old concrete statues. As the wind howled its unearthly groans, the statues would shift as if coming to life. Your eyes never left them, fearing if you looked away, they would move ever so closer.

A clap of lighting flashed across the window, your heart jumping from your throat as you fell backwards. A squeak left your mouth while your hand shot out in front of you to catch yourself. There was a muffled thump as you hit the ground, causing you to whine as your rear end ached.

The creaking of a door drew your attention.

“Bella, is everything alright?”

Copia’s concerned face sent relief washing through you. The tips of your ears were engulfed in blush, grateful it hadn’t been a different clergy member.

“Just peachy, darling” you responded shyly, eyes averting his gaze. For a moment, you sat on the carpet before you both fell into a chorus of laughter. Copia’s smile was wicked, hand held on the side of his waist for support.

“You fell off the window sill, didn’t you?”

He was in the middle of the room now, making his way towards you rather urgently.

“No, of course not”. Your tone was dripping with sarcasm, though your inflection rising as a gentle kissed was placed to your forehead. He extended his arm like the gentleman that he was and you took it, standing up once again. You were able to examine your partner, eyes drifting across his more casual ministry wear.

His gloved hands found his sides easily, “Well you’re lucky then, otherwise, you might have been too sore for cuddles”

Your left eyebrow perked upwards, causing crinkles on your forehead, “You’re not working?”

"Bah! I'm never finished. But I couldn't ignore this weather, and I thought it would be the perfect time to spend some time with my favourite person, eh?"

A shadow fell across his wide eyes as the clouds drifted forwards. Thunder rippled throughout the hollow halls of the ministry, the door cracking open with enough force for the walls to shake. Your facial expression dropped and the colour drained from it, your body mindlessly drifting to where you felt safe: under the blankets and in Copia's arms.

As the rain beat heavily against the roof, you held back a yawn. The heat of Copia's breath brushed against your neck, your head nuzzling further into the comfort of your plush pillows. Heart swooning, your tongue flicked across your lips as your hands secured Copia's against your waist. Between the bags underneath his sombre eyes and his sluggish mannerisms, you could tell he needed the rest.

"-Cara" He paused, dragging out an exhale. Your eyes peeled open to reveal the darkness of the room illuminate by the glow of the sky's fury. His side of the large king-sized bed was heavy, as was yours, sheets falling across your bodies. For once, the cold nipped at your toes and nose, leaving red marks in its wake.

"Yes...?". You were almost scared to speak back, feeling as though the darkness was creeping in and that your words would get lost in it.

“Would you fancy a hot chocolate? I could really go for some.”. He seemed unsure as the words left his mouth. You almost leapt from the bed, springing into action at the thought of soothing your restlessness.

The ministry was a beautiful thing, the walls looking as though they had been carved from marble. Light seeped through the crumbling cloisters, giving way to the patch of garden just outside your window. You often enjoyed late night strolls in the moonlight, the curfew but a scarce idea lingering in the back of your mind. Your robes would flutter in the wind as you paced.

Of course you weren’t going to object.

You were already at the door before Copia could register. He threw you a sleepy smile at your enthusiasm and bent down to collect his articles of clothing. You hadn’t taken off your pyjamas and stood waiting at the door patiently, eyes drifting across his body as he slipped on his pants and shirt. At the expanse of hair across his chest, you smirked as your eyes fell back on the fluffy carpet beneath your toes.

There was a grunt, followed by a thump as he dressed. You chuckled, observing as he sauntered towards you with a limp in his step.

Always clumsy, you thought to yourself.

His look was reassuring, eyes wide and awake despite the slump in his posture. Your hand inched towards the brass doorknob, your other bawled in a fist to rub against your eye. The promise of the warm drink kept you awake as well as the bitterness of the cold. You could almost taste the sweetness of the cream on your tongue.

As you both stepped into the hallway, Copia’a eyes darted left and right.

The hallway was full of a eery darkness which was broken by flashes of light. The musky smell of rain lingered where no human nor ghoul dared to tread. The halls all the Siblings of Sun once walked now sat empty.

The loving dork beside you was a far cry from the Papa everyone else knew him as. He was sweet and gentle, and while he could be seductive, tended to be reserved. And he loved 3 things the most in the world, beyond anything the ministry could offer him:

You.

His rats.

And sweet treats.

“Cara!” He whispered with urgency, throwing a hand over his shoulder and gesturing for you to follow, “Come! This way to the kitchen”

Your head shook, falling out of your bubble of thought. Breaking into a shuffle to catch up with him, the two of you wandered the halls in search of the kitchen. The rain continued just as heavily, the occasional drip falling from a weathered crack in the ceiling and hitting the floor with a light splash.

Before you knew it, you were at the archway which led into the dining hall. As your eyes feverishly scanned over the elongated tables and hundreds of chairs, it crossed the large arched observatory window. It peered out into the courtyard, which had become a makeshift lake. The candelabras in the cool stone brick walls emitted a dull but warm glow, enough for you to squint to see the outline of a door.

“I found it!” You exclaimed proudly as your hand placed itself firmly on the handle. The door groaned and its tired old hinges rattled as if an old person was scolding your childish mischief.

When you broke into the kitchen, Copia found your side with an impressed smirk displayed across his features. Hesitation consumed him as his arm paused halfway through going to flick on the light switch.

You eyed him curiously.

He had made the decision not to turn on the light for fear you would be caught. Papa or not, it was still embarrassing to be out after curfew if caught by Imperator, who would make sure you regretted it before the night was over.

Instead, he settled for the nearest candle holder and a pack of matches. Within a stroke, the red tip dragged across the surface of the matchbox, a fire sizzling into existence before he placed it delicately to the waxen candle. The flame’s light hovered across his softening expression.

You turned, satisfied, in the search of pot to heat the milk.

Before long, you were cooking with gas as you assembled the ingredients. The milk had been heated virtually silently and the cocoa powder sat on the table, ready to be opened. Copia had come to your side, pressing his side against yours reassuringly as he watched you work. The powder bubbles as it was mixed before dissolving into a murky brown colour. You took the mugs, one in each hand, and handed one to your partner.

He nodded and took it, eyes fluttering expectantly as the drink was brought to his lips. Your gaze darted to his lips as he removed the mug, then to the faint outline of a foamy moustache of milk. Letting out a small expression of laughter, he frowned, unaware.

“Maybe you should grow back the moustache. I forgot how good it looked on you”

Your sly comment didn’t go unnoticed as he raised the sleeve of his shirt to wipe it, only to be met with your protest. You tutted, placing your hand gently on his sleeve and lowering it. Before he could speak, you leaned forward and placed a carefully calculated but deep kiss to his soft lips.

His arm securely found the dip in your back and while he tilted you backwards, a muffle of approvement escaping his lips between kisses. Electricity tingled through you as he released you from his grasp. His eyes burned softly with passion, even in the dim light of the kitchen.

“Maybe I will, for you” he breathlessly laughed.

Mugs in hand, you both turned with a contentful smile toward the door once again. The walk to the bedroom from the kitchen appeared less like a long stretch of dauntingly barren tiles as before, and more as what it was ; a hallway made monster by rain.

In your comfort, you turned the corner with Copia trailing behind you, expecting another empty hallway.

But your heart must have jumped from your throat and into the floor as your eyes lay on Secondo. Beneath his arms were two women of unknown origin, one with ebony hair in ringlets, and the other with numbing blue eyes. From the way their swayed under his grasp, you could assume they were all tipsy.

“Bella what are you-” Copia paused, mouth snapping shut as he rounded the same corner to see you frozen in place.

Secondo’s eyes, glassy and fixed on the walkway ahead of him, pivoted to you. You felt your stomach drop as if you were on a roller coaster. There was a twinkle in them despite the bitterness of his appearance. Without a moment to spare, he winked casually as if to say ‘Don’t worry. I won’t tell if you don’t’ and continued the track back to his room.

You shook your head in disbelief as the man faded into the darkness of night, shushing his company as the giggles ceased. Reasserting a hand on your shouoder, Copia muttered, “That was close”

“Tell me about it. We’re lucky Secondo is the party animal. If it had been Primo, we would have been torn to shreds, Satan forbid, Sister Imperator!” Your whisper almost squeaked out as a loud exclamation, causing you to snap your palm over your lips.

The thought of dissolving into the sheets of your bed with Copia tucked under your arm was the only thing guiding you through the halls of the ministry on that rainy night.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

#x reader #Cardinal Copia x reader #the band ghost #ghost #cardinal copia #papa iv #fluff #Papa IV x reader #papa emeritus iv #Papa IV #oneshot #gn!s/o #gn!reader #Rainy day prompt #answering requests

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marisaeon · 20 days

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Aeon angst week day 3 -

Amnesia ── (Not finished in picture :))

Read the rest of the story below the cut! Or, support this over on my ao3! :)

She used to think she finally found happiness. Accepting the fact that she's capable of loving someone is more difficult than ever. In finally doing so, she was happy everyday, living with him.

Growing closer than ever, sharing conversations past midnight, being able to sleep with the comfort of the other there. That was love.

She's never loved anyone before, not truly. The love for Leon is real, and she doesn't know if anyone could ever replace that. Matter of fact, she knows nobody would. The little things he did when she was down, buying her favorite foods rather than a pile of jewels. As much as she would let him know, he remembered and used for the next time.

Until one day, that all came crashing down. Just one accident and he doesn't remember her. One accident and he doesn't remember the very woman he swore he'd never forget.

Ada would visit him in the hospital, he, unaware and unconscious. Spending hours there by his side, hoping he'd wake up soon.

People rarely came into his room, suggesting he'd be leaved to rest and just get his hourly needs.

This gave her more time to spend with him, she didn't want anyone to know she was here. A private marriage was kept even after all these years, to keep them safe.

She's starting to regret that now, knowing that she'll have to steal information to find out what's wrong with him rather than just hearing the news as his spouse. It wasn't anything new to her, she supposes.

Ada holds his hand, he's so unresponsive it feels as though he's dead. It's not the same to when she would hold his hand in bed as he slept, slowly awakening at her touch. She so hoped he would though, maybe she would be the one to wake up. Wake up from a terrible dream. This felt all too real, and it was.

Later, she was fast asleep, tears dried up on her face and her makeup smeared throughout. She looked like a mess, and she didn't feel any better. A faint noise woke Ada up as the door began to open, she quickly got up and hid in the somewhat large room.

Just a nurse coming in to fix his IV, and check his vitals. The room is silent as she does so, nobody to talk to anyway. Since the only other person in the room was unconscious, or at least she thought was the only person.

A heartbeat later, the nurse gasps, "Leon?" She runs to his side, noticing he had opened his eyes, and is regaining consciousness.

"Oh my.. I'll be right back, okay?!" She ran out of the room to go collect the doctors.

Ada let out a soft gasp herself, realizing that he was finally awake. She wanted to go out there and embrace him so bad, but she knew it wouldn't be too long till a whole group of people came into this room. Her heart feels like it's beating out her of chest, she can hear it in her ears as her blood pools. So much that she had to remind herself to breathe, and take slower breaths. This wasn't like her, she needed to calm down. He was going to be alright...

She rubs at her eyes, black and reds stain her fingers.

A group of doctors come into the room...

And that was the night she found out, he didn't remember her.

She told herself she wouldn't run away anymore, but this gave her every reason to, in her eyes.

From that point on, it's been years since she's seen him. Ada would tell herself she didn't want to see him. But that was a lie.

The beach was always her comfort place. She doesn't know why, like a lot of things she likes. Something about the waves crashing against shore, or the way the sand feels underneath her. Or the cool winds that hit her while she spaces out.

But one thing she wouldn't be expecting, is her hat to be blown off her head, and the very one handing it back to her being Leon.

She froze, her heart dropping into her stomach as her head spun.

"I believe you dropped this." He smiled politely and gestured the hat towards her.

"Thank you... I thought I'd lost it for sure." Ada grabbed the hat, still looking at him. She was sure she was talking about the hat.. Right?

Every careful detail of him is still there, the way she remembered it to be. The soft features of his face, to the constant stiffness in his shoulders. Everything.

"Lose your hat often? It feels brand new." He joked.

She's snapped out of her haze. "..I suppose so. You could probably find fifty of my hats on this beach, if you tried." Ada hummed, trying her best to hide any emotions of hers.

Leon chuckled. "Fifty? I don't think I've ever owned that many hats in my life."

"Yes, I'm... quite the collector."

"You can never go wrong with too many hats," He beamed.

"Yes..." Ada honestly still can't believe it. This doesn't feel real, nothing has since that day in the hospital. This is her life now, alone, again.

●・○・●・○・●●・○・●・○・●●・○・●

How do people conversation. This killed me ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)⁭ ⁭

Hope you enjoyed anyways!

#aeon #resident evil #ada wong #leon kennedy #ada x leon #aeonangstweek

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tunaababee · 27 days

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gonna get really sappy and DEEPLY tmi/personal about twenty one pilots on main so im gonna put it under a cut. i am cringe but i am free and clancy tour coming up is giving me Feelings

i've been a top fan since 2016. i initially had some resistance to them bc it was when Stressed Out was at its peak and like, yall know how oversaturation goes. even if its good, its fucking annoying by proxy. all the 12/13 year olds at my high school were into it. i was turning 17. and it was a really fucking rough year.

i've been deep into homestuck since i was about 14/15, but by age 16 i had branched out into text-based rp and met a guy from italy who i kind of had a situationship with i guess?? at the time?? idk if that's what the kids call it. (whenever i describe how many relationships ive had, i count this one as a 0.5) anyways. it eventually got to a point where he was emotionally abusing me for a period of about four months. it was brief, but intense, especially since im a fucking lovesick lonely teen at this point who doesnt know any better. he lovebombs me, talks to me and acts like i am his girlfriend, gets jealous and shitty if i talk about other people, but then the moment he goes and does the same shit i get told i'm the reason he was depressed, im the reason for his problems, etc. until he calmed down and placated me and won me over again. over and over, regularly, for four months. it was a lot for my little developing brain to handle.

i know people have had it longer, have had it worse, but it really left a lasting impact. i was left with a litany of abandonment issues, and self-esteem and image that was already bad was buried dead in the fucking ground. i wanted to die every single fucking day for those four months. he even told me, as i began to question my sexuality properly, that i couldnt be bi 'because i liked him'.

but he LOVED twenty one pilots. would quote their shit regularly. wore the merch. all that stuff.

by 2016 i'd managed to see clearly enough and have enough support from friends that i felt comfortable cutting him and his circle off permanently. and it was fucking hard. i didn't have a lot of irl friends at the time and it felt like my only support network. after i finally left, i was desperate to feel some semblance of control, take something back, my own personal little 'fuck you' i could carry in my heart.

with all the hype around them, i gave top a try. slowly eased my way in. i knew i was hooked when i heard Holding On To You for the first time. it made me feel like i could take back that control and find a light at the end of the tunnel.

i consumed everything they had put out after that. i saw them live at emotional roadshow sydney 2017, i was turning 18. i made so many new friends. i felt such hope in my heart. i sobbed so fucking hard when they played HOTY. they weren't the only reason i made it through, itd be naive to contribute everything to them when i've done a lot of work and so have the people around me, but they were like a lifeline to hold on to when things were hard.

i went and saw them again in 2018 for the bandito tour. i made my own outfit and was surrounded by people who had done the same. i made more friends, had more adventures. i was dropping out of high school the year that Trench released due to having the worst mental health i'd had probably since my abuse and felt so lost but it helped me feel a little more stable and grounded. like that light was still there.

a lot has happened since. i'll be 25 when i go see them in November, once again at Qudos Bank Arena in sydney. i'm in a happy relationship with someone i love who respects me. i'm doing things that make me happy. i'm happy. i've felt and experienced and lived and loved and lost and done so so so much since i was a scared 16 year old hearing them for the first time. i've gotten piercings and tattoos, something i never thought i'd do, and put their work permanently on my body. i'm so proud every time i see my tattoo on my arm. i genuinely love and accept myself exactly as i am, which is something i NEVER thought i'd do.

having Clancy come out nine years to the day from blurryface, an album that has been so deeply important to me in a lot of ways, gets me real misty. this entire tour gets me so misty. i didn't think i'd live past 18 at BEST. but i'm here and i'm fucking happy.

genuinely cannot emphasise how much this album and this tour means to me. i plan on getting a Clancy tattoo once the album comes out and i've had some time to sit with it. it feels very full circle, i guess. hearing Next Semester has just had me thinking about this constantly and all weepy all the time haha. but a good weepy.

i cannot fucking wait to scream in a stadium full of people again in a way that heals my heart.

#twenty one pilots #tw suicide mention #tw abuse mention #i wasnt kidding when i said i get real fucking tmi in here #my household already has to deal with me rambling about them all the time lol so tumblr gets the deep and meaningful

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plantsarepeopletoo · 9 months

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Thai QL Favorites Tag game

Thanks @rocketturtle4 !

First time doing this, I think Ive been here for a month? Came from reddit but wasn't part of the bl community there.

Of course I'm following along with the Favorite thing over "best" cause it's probably more interesting than just saying ITSAY.

Favorite Thai QL: So I want to say Not Me or 1000 stars, for different reasons. I started watching Not Me before I understood it was a BL, and was very confused when offgun started having "moments". Wasn't mad about it, just wasn't expecting it. I thought it was just mystery/social commentary. That said, I wish it went a little harder on the social commentary, but I understand that they might have pushed as far as they could at the time (while still getting money to make the show)

But 1000 stars made me feel all the emotions and if I ever need to just have a good cry, that's my go to.

Pictures for Turtles:

(Though honestly Turtles, I get it, I have to use MDL to look up everyone to see what they were in before, like Max from BMF)

Favorite Pairing: Disclaimer, I hate the fanservice and pressure for the actors to act like they're dating. That being said, I like OffGun, omg I love Gun's acting in Not Me. And I like EarthMix, I just wish Earth was able to not be type cast into such serious roles. He seems like a very funny dude, give him a character who can be bubbly. I like everything they've been in, and I hope to see more in the future.

Most underrated actor: Perth Nakhun Screaigh? I'd like to see him in more stuff. Before Laws of Attraction came out I would have said Film. Jam and Film both did great in To Sir, here's to hoping they get more attention.

Favorite Character: It might be early, but Charn from Laws of Attraction. From a show that is already completed, White. We took a well off boy who saw there was wrong in the world, decided he didn't like how his brother was doing things, and figured his own way of fixing the world. I'm starting to see I have a type. Charn might be a mix of Black and White if they had decided to work from inside the judicial system. Protecting who they could while being jaded and waiting for a chance to get back at those in power.

Favorite Side Character: I'm a simple person - Max from BMF, just because it's nice to see a confident gay character that is smart. He doesn't have much screen time, but whenever he does I am so ready for it.

Favorite scene in a QL: Pisaeng winning the stuffed animal for Kawi in Be My Favorite. How he was acting before and after, the whole thing was perfect and showed so much of Pisaeng's character. My favorite type of scene, and I think Thai bl does a really good job at it, is colored lighting. I think I first noticed it in KP during the Vegas Pete scenes. They started mixing the colors as Pete and Vegas started to understand each other more *chefs kiss* that type of thing is my jam.

Favorite line in a QL: Oh this is hard cause I do not have the memory for these types of things. So I'm going to cheat a little and say anytime consent is asked for and given.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Looking forward to Only Friends really no other reason than it looks like it's about to be great fun. Also the two horror bls coming up, The Whisper and The shadow? I don't know much about either and I'm going to keep it that way.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Gun and Cher from a boss and a babe? Cher did feel super inferior but that didn't come from Gun. Gun supported Cher with everything and Cher felt comfortable to "act like a bad boss" in our skyy. I liked their whole vibe.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: EVERYONE from Love Syndrome? Just... the whole thing. Itt and Day's levels of jealousy are off the charts and played off as romantic. Day doesn't want Itt to learn how to cook or do anything for himself because he wants Itt to be completely dependent on him. I'm hoping for Only friends to be toxic, but not played off as romantic.

Guilty pleasure series: I will knock you or ghost host ghost house. They're both really fun and I can just turn off my brain to watch.

Most Underrated Series: Apparently La Pluie? To Sir With Love needs more attention, but it's very different than what we normally expect from Thailand. Also, even though I understand all the flack it got, I really liked Step By Step.

@italianpersonwithashippersheart @befuddledcinnamonroll hopefully you have not done this yet?

#thai bl #tag game #ql favorites #self tag game

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hailieshapedbox · 2 months

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ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.

i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.

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stedebonnit · 1 year

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The fact that you would rather have Stede and Ed suffer than be happy together, so much so that you construct an elaborate head canon where STEDE IN PARTICULAR SUFFERS makes you a fucking asshole.

Aksjdhdhs this is so funny to me.

First of all, i dont owe you a response, i want to clarify that you reaching out anonymously to tell me this in this way rather than opening a conversation with me says more about you than me.

But as my first ever anon hate, I want to use this as a teachable moment because this is a big moment that i got anon hate for the first time LOL.

So once, and only once, I will address this.

Personally, I am a therapist in training. My life and career is built on helping people because I love people and see the best in the world as a whole.

Personally, I cannot watch dramas because watching people in (unresolved) pain has a significant impact on my mood.

To add to that, I cannot read or watch things with an unhappy ending, with very few exceptions.

For that reason, i LOVE hurt/comfort. Through my career & my personal life i have witnessed a lot of pain and suffering, and it makes me sad, but its a fact of life. So what I do is i write the pain and suffering that I see, that Ive felt, that i sometimes still feel, and i make it into content that ends happily, with love, support, self advocacy and understanding. I like to have characters comfort one another, but I like to emphasize personal growth. That is, i LOVE when characters can begin to rely on themselves through the process of pain and suffering, rather than only relying on a love interest.

I wonder which of my many posts made you reach out for this comment, because l, of all of the headcanons and writing ive posted within the past two weeks, i believe one (maybe two?) Posts have not ended happily and with relief, acknowledgement, & comfort. So no, enjoying the relief from pain is not something that makes me an asshole. Even if i didnt enjoy happy endings, many people find comfort in those stories because it helps them remember that, even when things end unhappily, there is ALWAYS something to enjoy along the way. You cannot know a person by the content they create, not unless that content frames the abuser or the person causing pain as a protagonist, that MAY suggest something else, but we can never know for certain.

Now, to address why its always Stede.

Ill be honest with you, i have never related to a character more than i have related to Stede.

He is flawed, blunt, oblivious, but hes also kind, empathetic, and someone who sees the best in everyone. When i describe Stede, i describe him as me before I spent years working on myself in therapy, and before i became a therapist myself.

So why do i hurt him so often?

Well, if Im honest, its because I think of the ways ive been hurt, and on top of that i think of the ways i caused MYSELF hurt because i was so blinded by trauma and self hatred that I didnt see it - i didnt see that i was increasing my own hurt, i didnt see that i was hurting others.

I was lucky to have a therapist point this out. The way my self hatred hurt others, the ways it was self-sabotoging.

Stede will see it one day, and I like to create scenarios where he does. I like to explore how this impacts him, often using the lense of how it hurt me.

When i wrote my april fools post about stede, it was after a revelation in my friends DMs about how my own traumatic experience with bullying did, and still does impact my perception of vulnerability.

Importantly, i like to end it with comfort, because i like to remind myself, and others who relate so deeply to stede, that there is hope. We can feel this desperately lonely, this deeply traumatized, and we can come out the other end. We can be deserving of comfort and warmth, we can be self-compassionate. Moreover, that self compassion will make us kinder.

Being kind to myself has made me kinder. I hope some day it can do that for you, anon.

Oh, and my ideal season 2 is an episode 1 reunion. Me coming up with ideas that happen to be angsty doesnt mean i want that. Hence the "eating my own face" at the top of the post LMAO

I hope this helped you understand me a little better, and if Im incredibly lucky, youll think twice before sending something like this to someone else. But i wont hold my breath.

Enjoy the knowledge that you were my first anon hate, and anyone reading this, please remember that this will be the last time i address one of these 🥰

#ask #anonymous #ofmd #stede bonnet #d speaks

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cardinal-copia-popia · 1 year

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Hi ghestie, love your writing! A humble little request if you're up for it, but Copia/Papa IV in a platonic/paternal way comforting a trans male reader who had an emotionally abusive Catholic father who never allowed them to express their feelings or accepted them growing up and needs some reassurance after going no contact and joining the Clergy that they're safe now and everything's okay? Totally unrelated to my own daddy issues and clinging to Papa as a comfort character of course ahem

Thank you for this request, ghestie! I hope I did it justice! ❤️❤️❤️

Mirrored here on AO3

If anyone has any requests, send them my way (see pinned post for more info)!

Welcome Home

You sniffed, attempting to stay quiet, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. Not that anyone else was in the chapel at that time. You had come here to be alone and think.

All of this was so different for you, this… acceptance. You could hardly believe it was true. In fact, you didn’t. Not always. You continually expected the bubble to burst, that your… father would suddenly appear before you, and you would find yourself back in your previous situation. It seemed as though you had gone from one religious extreme to the next, but where one had been horrible, being here at the Abbey was almost too good to be true.

The sound of the chapel doors squeaking open made you jump, but you stayed facing forward, hoping whoever it was would not notice you. But that was apparently too much to hope for. The sound of footfalls grew steadily louder as the person approached you until they stopped altogether. You half expected to be reprimanded for being in there or be told to leave.

“Brother?”

You startled again, this time because you realized the person was Copia. You turned to look at him, finding him standing at the end of the pew behind you with a look of concern on his face. He was in his black robes and papal paint, likely about to get ready for confessions.

“Are you alright?” he continued.

You swallowed and nodded. “Yes, Papa. Fine.”

Copia gestured toward the pew. “May I sit?”

You nodded again and watched him out of the corner of your eye as he shuffled between the pews to sit next to you.

“Forgive me, brother, but you do not seem alright,” he said gently. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine! But… Just know I’m here to listen, sì?”

You gazed up at him for a moment before returning your attention to the pew in front of you. "None of this feels real. I'd never been accepted for who I am before until I got here. I keep expecting it to all end, that I'll turn a corner and there my father will be, and I just can't—" You broke off to take a deep breath.

Papa placed a hand on your shoulder. He knew your situation and had been nothing but supportive of you, as had everyone else at the Abbey who knew. "You're safe here, you know that, sì? Your father cannot get you here. No one will ever hurt you again, not as long as I have anything to say about it."

You looked up at him again, tears shining in your eyes. "I know, Papa. I'm not used to being able to just be me. I don't even know if I know how to be me."

Papa smiled. "Well, we will help you with that, brother. It will take time, but just know you will always have our support." He gave your shoulder a squeeze. "You will always have my support."

You closed your eyes and nodded. That was all you wanted. "I may have only been here a short time, but you've been more of a father to me than my actual father," you admitted quietly. "Thank you for that, Papa."

"There's no need to thank me, brother. I am more than happy to fill that role for you. You may always depend on me."

On impulse, you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face to his chest. You had never felt more relieved and accepted and happy than in that moment.

"Thank you," you whispered through your tears.

Copia soothingly rubbed your back. "Of course. Welcome home… son."

#ask #fic request #my writing #ghost fanfic #ghost band fanfic #ghost band #the band ghost #copia #papa iv #reader

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thesoleilla · 2 years

Text

Flufftober Day 28: Picnic

Masterlist Fandom: Mysmes

Ship: Yoosung x reader

Warnings: Yoosung Route spoilers, slightly ooc I think??? Use of "honey"

three times Yoosung kinda ruined a picnic date by thinking it was something else, and one time he didn't.

The first-time, you weren't sure whether it was a date; you just wanted to celebrate his autorisation to leave the hospital and since you weren't very confident in the relationship yet; you decided to just see whether he'd invite the others or not, which he did. You'd hate to admit it, because you liked the others; but you still were a bit disappointed, but seeing the chaos going down was comforting so you just thought that there'd be another opportunity anyways!

II.

The second time; you decided you wouldn't let it go to waste. Not that the rest of the RFA were a waste, but you wanted some time alone with him! This couldn't be that hard !

But it was that hard. You see, when you just asked to go picnicing for lunch with him out of the blue; Yoosung was already nervous about it, but why may you be asking? Because he thought you wanted to break up with him. BUT YOU JUST WANTED A DATE😭

After all, for him; your relationship was still new and he was scared he didn't do enough for you, so such an important organisation just for a picnic must be to hide something! But that thing was a date not a breakup... so to support him in case you broke up with him, he asked for a friend of his to tag along... but next time it's going to work right!

III.

Or at least... that's what you thought. But this time all the possible conditions in your mind were fulfilled ! It had to work! Well.... in your mind it had succeeded. Only in your mind though,,,

Because you hadn't been blunt enough for your oblivious s/o... but did you really expect him to get clues? Come on, be realistic please-

And since saying "Wanna plan a picnic together soon?" with a wink at the end wasn't obvious enough, you were now sitting on a nap with the rest of the RFA. Just one last time and then you'd give up...

IV.

Okay, you were really desperate for that picnic date. But it had failed for the third time a month ago ! You knew you had to be upfront with Yoosung when you wanted something but still! Could he not get hints of the picnic date you oh so desperately wanted! Yes he couldn't, did you not remember who you were in love with?! Or so... you thought.

You see, he may be a bit oblivious sometimes (and god did you find it cute) but he was not dumb. So...

One Saturday, you were just slowly starting to wake up next to him, when you felt him take out an object from the bedside table, and move his hand towards you.

"Honey, mind if I use this to show you a little surprise I made just for you ? I promise you'll be happy to see this, I put my whole heart into making it!" Your husband greeted you, an extended smile on his face with stars or excitement practically popping out of his eyeballs; while he was waving a blindfold over your head, asking for your permission.

You, as a tired person who just woke up and was already being asked for sense to come out of your mouth, were very confused but if there was one thing your tired self could make out about this, it's that Yoosung was happy. And how could you say no to his happiness? So, you accepted.

He told you you were going out, you put on some random clothes and let him blindfold you.

You were starting to feel a comforting, smooth breeze hit your skin when he took off the blindfold.

A picnic

The sight was charming. Exactly like you were imagining it. Or more like... everything like the pictures you kept gazing at, wishing for Yoosung to take the hint believing damn well he wouldn't. But it looked like he did get them.

"You like it?"

"I-I I don't like it Yoosung, I love it! This is like a dream! How did you know...?"

"Haha, I'm not that oblivious you know, and you aren't exactly the most discreet person about wanting something, I had understood this for a while, but what kind of a man would I be if the perfect date my woman wanted was not perfect? I tried my best to make this exactly like you wanted! Now, let's have a sit, shall we?" He was looking into your eyes like a kid focusing on TV when his favorite show came on, examinating your every reaction to ensure you'd enjoy this to its fullest.

The date was going on smoothly, everything was as good as it could possibly have been and you were just so grateful to have met him, no words could explain how strong your love was but still, you wanted to try. Because you loved him.

"Honey? Thank you so much for this. You didn't have to do this for me you-"

"Hey! Don't start rambling on me! Your happiness is what makes me happy, of course I had to do this!"

You wanted to pout about how he didn't have to be this nice but-

"Honey, stop overthinking and just eat this, open your mouth please!" He cheerfully said, a spoon full of your favorite cake in his hand, pointed towards your mouth.

This man was one of love, and even though you keep witnessing it; you'd never fully grasp its size.

@flufftober

I was lazy when I wrote this and I don't even want to read it. Feel free to hate it lol, I was in germany while writing this

#flufftober2022 #day 28 #mystic messenger yoosung #mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme x reader #yoosung x reader #kim yoosung #yoosung x mc #yoosung fluff #mysme yoosung #yoosung x y/n #yoosung x you

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loversj0y · 1 year

Text

im crying over techno again (this is long and sad im sorry)

i miss him so much man. i hope he knows how much he did for all of us. ive been rewatching old wilbur videos and seeing him in them brings me so much bittersweet joy. he meant so much to all of us. i hope he knows the ways he changed us.

he was my final push to start streaming. i was inconsolable the night he died. the week after i kept thinking about how long i’d pushed off the idea because i simply didn’t think i had the time. something about losing someone that you even just perceive as being close to you gives such a shift in perspective that i figured at that point it’d be stupid not to. and the thing is, he was so incredibly supportive. of every last one of us. he always supported the people in his community.

its a big thing in my life honestly to live in his memory. usually people say stuff like that in a negative connotation but i dont think its negative. i hold his memory close to me as a reminder of the things that ive lost. and its a comfort in a sense to let his deadpan mockery push me to be better and to do things i might fear doing.

he has a space on my ofrienda. i pray to him in the same way i pray to all the family i have lost because even without knowing him personally, he welcomed us all enough to allow me to feel like there was a family with him when my own felt incendiary and volatile.

i think about the fact that lovejoy is playing a festival with the killers. its a festival im incredibly excited to go to, but on nights like this when im crying over a lost brother i never had, i feel saddened in knowing how much he would have loved to have seen it. i think he will be there, watching. but the feeling wont be the same. i think of how wilbur must feel. knowing that he’s playing a festival with the same band that he’s not only loved, but that he shared his love for with techno, to the point that it made such a strong lasting impression on techno. i hope he knows how proud techno is of him. i hope that if he stays to watch the killers perform, he feels techno with him. because i know he’ll be there.

i have a lot of thoughts on how much he meant to me, to all of us, and im kind of just pouring them out in a stream not unlike the tears that wont seem to stop tonight. if i can be honest, ive been avoiding a lot of stuff related to techno. i took a step back from everything as a whole because it hurt too much and i didnt know what to make of it, not really. i keep finding myself mourning how little time i got to have as an active techno watcher, given how recently i joined the fandom and such, but i also know i should rather feel thankful for every second that i got to have. i find myself avoiding a lot of mentions of technodad still. he’s lovely and he means so much to all of us, just like his son, but i cant help but feel my chest reopen each time i hear him speak about his son. ive seen the feeling of watching a person you love mourn a family member who was taken too young personally. ive seen it in my own family with my cousin, and it all feels so heavy. i know there is this narrative of being thankful for the time we had with a person. but i still consistently find myself balanced on the precipice of anger and acceptance. i dont struggle with bargaining or depression, let alone denial. i know hes gone. i know nothing will change that. but i also will never be content in feeling appreciative of the time we had because we could have had more time. even if it was just a. second more. it wouldnt change things but maybe it would ease the ache in my heart as i think on all of the people who loved him who will live past him, myself included.

i keep coming back to the song life worth missing by car seat headrest. i cant quite explain where i find the parallels but i feel it in this delicate balance that i find in the song. theres this delicate balance between grieving and losing yourself in grief and im not that sure that ive found it. for a control freak, one of the things that always has hurt me is my lack of control in death. i cant change it. and all i can control is the way to cope but i simply dont know how to do that. and the temperamental part in my head is the battle i find myself fighting because i know how he wouldnt want this. he wouldnt want the heavy grief but i dont know how to not feel it. i find myself feeling the heavy grief or essentially nothing at all.

and theres quiet, kind moments throughout it all. when i think maybe i can hold his memory and move with it. but those moments dont last long. but they mean more than any other part of this whole process. when i hear him in my head, making fun of me for not putting myself out there. when i feel him supporting me as i feel unstable and shaky. regardless of your thoughts on religion or my own, i know that he is there. whether it is real or it is in my head, both are substantial enough to give me faith. and isnt that religion in and of itself?

i know that all the things we wanted him to know, about how he changed us, how much he meant to us, all of it. i know that he knows them. but i still am allowed to mourn that we never got to feel him know them. am i allowed?

i think im allowed. i think he’d allow it. i think he’d understand.

because when i feel whatever sense might lie in my convoluted ideas of religion and my strong sense of morality, i know one thing above all.

that he understands.

#technoblade #this is sad im sorry #i just really miss techno man #Spotify

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skzhocomments · 9 months

Text

Broken hearts can heal - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Chapter IV - Home is a person

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad link

AO3 link

Chapter III / Chapter V

---

Chapter IV - Home is a person

word count: 1.6k words

"Okay, time to get up." Minho said sternly approaching the bed. Despite the harshness in his tone, his eyes were very much gentle, but extremely tired, and still red. "You've laid in bed too much. You have to exercise."

You sighed. You didn't want to get up. You wanted to lay there and die.

Why weren't you in the same car as Kibum?

No, Da-Eun, you can't be selfish like that. You scolded yourself and petted your belly, who was already weighing you down a lot after 7 long months of pregnancy.

"Okay." You got up and made your way towards the bathroom to wash up a bit.

It felt hard to function.

Still, it wasn't just you you were killing, and your baby didn't deserve it.

You love him so much.

Kibum loved him.

"Let's get you dressed and go out for a walk." Minho smiled at you and looked proud of the small achievement you did today: getting out of bed.

Taemin and Jinki were lying on the floor in the living room and watching TV, laughing loudly.

You wished you could laugh like them.

You nodded shortly and went back to the bedroom, finding some comfortable clothes.

You sighed again.

It was so hard to do even the simplest tasks.

Still, Minho was right, and you needed to exercise a bit. You couldn't just lay in bed your whole life. Not when someone else will soon depend on you.

Minho drove you to a nearby park with a big lake. You walked together along the shore and you breathed in fresh air for the first time in 2 weeks. The shy autumn rays felt pleasant on your face.

"Doesn't it feel better?" Minho asked you, smiling.

"Yea. This place is beautiful. It's new."

"Really? How so?"

"Mhm. I haven't been here with Key before. It feels good... to be somewhere where I don't have any memories to remind me that he's gone." You said quietly, but Minho heard you, and he hummed.

"It will feel like that for a while, but... time will pass, and you will stitch the wounds, and you won't always bleed. One day, you'll even be able to look back on the life you had with him and think of all those memories fondly, without pain." He placed his hand on the back of your waist and hugged you as you started crying.

He was crying too.

"You think so?" You asked him.

"Yes."

"Will it keep hurting?"

"Yes. But not as much as it does right now. I promise."

You nodded and hugged him tighter.

You started spending more time with the boys, who seemed to be on rotation to stay with you. All of them had work, but Minho seemed to always be there, either doing something around the house, trying to cook, cleaning, or taking you out for daily walks and just staying in your presence.

You also started spending more time outside the bedroom and tried to create a little routine. The first few days, it only consisted of getting out of bed and walking to the living room to watch TV with Taemin for 30 minutes or so. Then, you started talking to Jinki more, and even did small tasks with Minho around the house. Laundry, simple things.

"Uhm, Minho?" You hesitated, but seeing Minho's kind smile made you gather your courage.

"Yes, Da-Eun?"

"Do you... happen to have some time tomorrow at 1?"

"Of course. What do you want to do?"

"I'm around 34 weeks now, so I have a doctor's appointment... just a regular check-up. Do you maybe... uhm, want to come with me?"

"Sure, I'll take you." He smiled.

"No... not just take me. I'm... asking you if you want to come with me."

"Oh."

"It's okay if you don't-"

"I'd love to." He looked at you sincerely. "Thank you so much for asking me. I'd... really love that."

"Okay." You smiled, happy for your little conquest. "I'm seeing a new doctor because my old one has some health issues, and I'm a bit nervous. Thanks."

You needed support for this pregnancy, so you really wanted someone to come with you. While Taemin and Jinki were good friends of yours, you felt the closest to Minho lately, as he's been your rock through everything.

You wondered if he even had time to process his own grief. That worried you.

Still, you needed to be selfish for your baby's sake, so you didn't bring it up. It wasn't the time.

"It will be okay. I'm sure the new doc will be great. It's the same practice, right?"

"Yep."

"There's nothing to worry about. We'll go together, yea?"

You nodded.

"And there's something else... Key and I were in the process of building up the nursery for the baby. Do you think we could also go shopping for a bit afterwards? There's still things to be bought..."

"Yes, let's do that too. Do you have a list of what you need?"

"I'll go make one."

"Great." Minho smiled. "Let me know if you need any help."

"The baby is healthy and thriving! Heartbeat is normal. He's already getting into the headfirst position, which is amazing." The doctor nodded his head and smiled.

"That's good to hear." You smiled, holding Minho's hand.

"So, did you have any unusual symptoms, something to worry about? Your complexion looks a bit weak. Any discharge, bleeding or contractions?"

"No, everything's fine."

"What about movement?"

"He's very active. Kicks a lot." You chuckled.

"Maybe you've got the next biggest football player in there." The doctor joked, and Minho smiled.

He held your hand tighter.

"Okay then, since everything seems normal so far, you can go home and just continue as usual. Don't overdo things around the house, though. Since we're approaching your due date, I'd like you to come weekly for check-ups, okay?"

"Okay." You nodded.

"Are there any questions you'd like to ask me?"

"... no, not really." You replied after thinking for a bit.

"No?" He chuckled. "Most couples would ask me if they can still have sex. For the record, the answer is yes, of course, it doesn't hurt the baby in any way, nor does it induce labour. You'd better get at it while you still can, since you'll have to wait at least 6 weeks, if not more, after delivery. Just don't go crazy on positions. You got that, dad?" He playfully slapped Minho's back two times, and both of you grew red in the face.

Of course, your new doctor wouldn't know that Minho and you were not together, and neither of you felt it was necessary to correct him at that moment. The only thing that mattered to you was that, despite him not being the father of the child or your boyfriend, he was there for you, holding your hand.

After the doctor's visit, you went out just as discussed to pick together items for your nursery. You already had most necessities for the baby. All you wanted to get today was a bassinet and a cabinet that acts as a changing table as well, so you can change him, and keep all his diapers and bodysuits in the same place. Minho graciously paid for everything, despite your protests.

On the way home, you got to talk a bit more.

"So, how was your time in Europe?" You smiled, noticing a sparkle in his eyes for the first time ever since Kibum died.

"Key told you about it?" He chuckled.

"He was missing you." You laughed. It was weird to talk about him in past tense. You didn't like that. "Did you shoot a movie, or what was that about?"

"Yea, a new drama. Do you enjoy watching them?" He asked you, taking his eyes off the road every few seconds when you or he would talk.

"Yea. Actually, I think after we're done unboxing and building those," you pointed to the back of the car "I'm going to start a new drama and binge watch it..."

"You can start it as soon as we get home." He chuckled. "I'll build them."

"I'd rather we build them together and then watch the drama..." Your voice trailed off. You didn't want him to misunderstand you in any way, but you felt the need to be in someone else's company. "By the way, are the others still there?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. Jinki needed to go take care of some business, so probably not, and Taemin is, well, Taemin. He's unpredictable." Minho laughed.

"He has two kids to take care of anyway." You joked, referring to his adorable cats.

"That's true."

"By the way... you know you don't have to... stay with me, right?" You smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your support, and I am extremely grateful that the apartment is not empty, and that I got to see and hear other people when all I wanted was to melt away in my bed, but... you also have a life to live."

"We know that, Da-Eun, don't worry. It's just... we want to be there for you. Of course, when the baby comes, we'll let you have privacy, I'll come visit to bring you food and stuff, but we won't wear out our welcome."

"I just needed you to know that while I appreciate it, I don't want you to feel forced to... spend time with me, you know?"

Minho placed his hand on your arm tenderly and smiled at you nodding, letting you know that you can relax and not overthink about it.

"I can't believe he's going to grow up without a father, Minho..." You looked down at his hand and felt a terrible dread settling down in your stomach.

You just told Minho everyone can keep going with their lives, but you were so scared of doing it alone. You truly appreciated everyone being there for you. They don't know how much it meant to you to not be utterly alone in that depressing house that you couldn't call home anymore.

It's true when they say home is not a place, but a person.

---

Chapter III / Chapter V

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polaristhngs · 2 years

Text

Fearless (5/x)

Pairing: Dodge Mason x Female OC

Summary: Spark ignites as a new challenge emerges. The Graybill House is haunted. Everyone in Carp knew that, but it wasn’t particularly the house that was Josie was scared of. But not Dodge. He wasn’t scared. That was what Panic was all about: no fear.

Warnings: Minor Explicit Language, Mentions of Abandonment, Mentions of Death, Electrocution

Word Count: 5.8k

Disclaimer

I do not own the series of Panic or the characters. This is a slight AU of Season 1.

Masterlist || I. PANIC || IV. ESCAPE || VI. VISIONS

V. PHANTOMS

After the player's ball, and their little "talk", Josie ended up not talking to Dodge. It's been a few days and she's been avoiding him. Running the other way at a small glimpse of him. It was a little difficult since he's everywhere around town. She sees him walking across the street, she wouldn't utter a single word to him. She thinks the boy's catching up with her avoidance.

She cringes at her words that night. For the reason of embarrassment. She never opened up to someone before. Personal things she never told anyone but mostly just kept to herself. Josie doesn't know if it was the atmosphere that made her tipsy but a part of her felt comfortable with Dodge. He was a good listener. Now the feeling faded.

He knew just enough of her and she wasn't fine with that. Her mind pondered towards Panic. Maybe he could use that against her. The boy still remained a mystery to her. She wasn't even seeing the boy, so why would she think about him?

As if fate was playing with her, she spots Dodge on the other side of the street. Her feet seemed to stop moving. Just as he was about to enter the diner, he turns to his side, feeling a pair of eyes gazing at him. It was Josie. Josie immediately switches her view straight ahead towards the road. Walking and paced faster as she could to get out of there.

Before Dodge can call out her name, she left. He noticed she was avoiding him ever since the player's ball. He was confused. He didn't know what happened between them. Did he do something wrong? He thought they were starting to become friends and it was a good thing.

He had a new perspective on the girl. It was growing into something. There was a weird feeling in his chest that he hasn't really given the time to think about.

Dodge deeply sighed. His mind lingered at the text he got from Natalie, reminding him about the challenge tonight. He was growing worried. If anyone else knew about his weakness, it could be used against him. Dodge has one weakness, and it was his sister. And no one knew that, besides Natalie.

----

Josie figured since her walk away from Dodge was literally leading her nowhere, she went home. After receiving a text about Panic, she decided to rest until the challenge tonight. She wasn't particularly in the mood to compete in Panic tonight but she decided to suck it up. Her mind was flowing elsewhere and she needed to clear her head. Seeing the car parked in their driveway, Josie figured her Nick was home.

"I'm home!" She greets.

"Hey." A deep male voice greets back.

Josie heads towards the kitchen, surprised to see him even being near a stove. "What're you doing?" She leans over the table, watching Nick badly attempt to cook something that she could only assume was pasta.

"I'm making us dinner. I'm not coming back to work until late tonight, so I figured we could have that normal family dinner."

She slowly nods. Definitely trying not to notice the burning smell coming from the stove. One of the reasons they don't have those normal family dinners, aside from his bad cooking, is because it was always been Nick and her. Ever since her dad died and her mom left, Nick has been taking care of her. Working multiple shifts he can support her through high school. Trying to give her the best opportunities possible. Managing the house and bills needed to be paid. She owed everything to her older brother. If she was going to win Panic, it would be for him. There were times when Josie would see him passed out, dead asleep on the couch after spending hours and hours at work. Making the minimum wage he can to pay the insane amount of cash needed to spend. Nick was sometimes absent in her life, in ways that she can understand. But he always tried to be there when it mattered. Part of the reason why she resented her mother is that her leaving means dumping all the responsibilities on her brother who was only still in college when she abandoned them. She didn't care about them. If she did, she never would've left.

Nick tries to tell her about his day while trying to tame the dish she believes could be pasta. She couldn't take it anymore. She moves from her spot, heading over to the stove. Nick laughed embarrassingly, admitting he doesn't know what he was doing, why does he still bother anyways, and just lets her do her thing. She was a way better cook than him.

"I thought we already agreed that you can't cook." She quipped, turning the heat down, grabbing a spoon, and gently stirring the pot. "Just order in tonight, though. I have a thing tonight."

Nick's eyes darted. He understood what she meant. Josie told him before the summer that she was gonna play Panic. She quickly dropped the bombshell on the first day of her senior year. He remembered quite well because she began her sentence with, "Now I'm officially a Senior..." He was against the idea, of course. He wouldn't be. The accident about last year's Panic game struck the town's core. It was a regular summer day and then suddenly, two kids had died. Regular folks heard multiple rumors but a more silent group of people about how the kids truly died that year. Nick was working at the time the hospital received the call about Jimmy and Abby. He gave a long hard talk to Josie about the dangers of participating in the game. But he knew nothing was gonna stop her when she puts her mind on something. She didn't tell anyone that Nick knew she was gonna play Panic. Most especially Natalie. She figured they'll ask questions and wouldn't trust her.

"Just remember," he reminds.

"Be careful." Both say in unison.

"I know. I know." Josie repeats. "I'll be fine. I'm telling you." She focuses back on the cooking pot, stirring whatever substance in it. Josie pulled a quizzical face as she sniffed down the smoke exiting the pot. Maybe it could be saved, she pondered.

"Speaking of fine..." Nick trails. "Mom called."

Josie drops the spoon at his sudden mention of her. Her shoulders tensed up as flashbacks from those painful memories she had with her rapidly grows in her mind like wildfire. It was always been a sensitive topic to her. She mostly tried to ignore the idea of their mother when there were moments Josie would be reminded of her, but now, it is a definite reference. Josie could already feel the emotions clasping down her throat.

"Why? Does she need money again?" She said coldly.

"Josie..."

"Am I wrong? She only calls when she needs something." She turns around, looking Nick in the eye. She was right. They would rarely get calls from her but when they do, it would always be about money. She'd include some flowery words in her messages too. But Josie knew it was all fake.

"She called asking how we've been..." Josie laughed at the thought. Nick frowned at her reaction. "She's doing great, Jo. Ever since..."

"-So she needs a place to crash." She bitterly grins. Unsurprised by the notion. The small heartbreak in her tone was obvious.

Josie focuses her attention back on cooking. Or at least she tried to. Trying to focus on anything else but her mom. Heatedly stirring the pot as her emotions grew. Her hands were shaking as she gripped the spoon. She's coming back. She'll fall for it again. The sweet talk about how she missed both of them. How she has grown up so much since she last saw them. Maybe spend a day or two with them, if they're lucky, and then she'll leave again. It was the same old routine.

Nick tried to say good words to his sister, trying to calm her down. But she couldn't help it. She meant it when she said she never want to see her again.

"Are fucking you serious, Nick?! You're honestly just gonna let her back in here!" Josie snapped. Frustratingly running her fingers through her hair as she let out an exasperated breath. She chuckles to herself. "And of course, she calls you 'cause she knows you'll basically let her get away with anything! Am I wrong?!"

Her brother only kept silent at her outburst.

"She'll waltz back in here and by the end of the week she's off to god know's where with half our money."

"She says it's different this time."

"Not the first time I've heard that." She intoned.

"We gotta give her a chance, Josie."

"NO! We gave her plenty of chances. She always does this!" Josie infuriatingly slams her hand down in anger. She cursed under her breath as her hand caught a bit of the heat from the stove. Nick moves forward to his sister in concern, grabbing a first aid kit in the process. Looking down at her scalded palm, Josie didn't know which pained her more, her hand or her mom. Either way, she resisted a tear. She didn't want to waste any more on her. He then proceeds to aid her wounded hand, taking worried glances at his sister.

It wasn't easy for Josie. Her mother and Josie were quite close when she was younger. That's why it broke her heart when she left for the first time. Despite that, she tried to keep in contact with her. She'd call her mom constantly. Texted her whenever she could. Josie always kept a tiny beam of hope whenever she replied. Even if it was just a brief OK, Josie was satisfied. But there was a time when Josie called her once again, but this time her mom didn't answer. That one time happened twice and then it became thrice, soon after, she stopped talking to them altogether. Josie would always hope her mom would finally stay every time she would walk through the door. She would let her guard down and she was disappointed. She was always left disappointed. It still surprised her how she can never get used to that feeling.

"I don't want her back here, Nick."

"You're too hard on her, Josie."

She closes her eyes, seemingly holding back any emotions. Her breath caught on her throat.

"My answer's still no."

----

"Congratulations to all of you for completing the challenge at Spurlock's Ranch. Up until now, you've been competitors. But tonight, you become enemies."

Josie drove herself to the challenge instead of riding with Heather and Nat. After that sudden mention of her mom seemingly catching up with Nick, she stayed in her room the whole afternoon crying until it was time to head over to the next challenge. She was upset and wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Walking closer to the group of people standing in front of the porch, she decided to forget about all that and focus on the game. Her afflicted emotion seems to give her a drive, a thirst to win this challenge.

Dodge's gaze followed the girl as she searches for her friends and walked up towards them. She was the last one to arrive at the venue, he noticed. He was anticipating when she'd make an appearance. He hasn't gotten a chance to talk to Josie and hopefully, he can speak to her tonight. He shouldn't let himself get distracted though, especially with everything at stake but he couldn't help himself. His eyes never left her as he listened to Diggins.

Noticing her friend's depressed demeanor, Heather smiles softly at Josie as she stands beside her. "Hey, Josie. You okay?" She asks, wrapping an arm around her. Her tone was probably one of Josie's favorite things about her. Heather never failed to show how much she cared about her friends. Heather could see the little red under her eyes and her puffed cheeks. She couldn't even ponder the thought of what made Josie look so down. Josie nodded her head, giving her a reassuring smile. "Yeah. I'm okay." She spoke quietly. Hoping it was convincing enough.

Feeling a pair of eyes on her, Josie's gaze shifted towards its direction, the trail shockingly leading to Dodge. Their eyes locked, surprised to see him already staring at her. Josie quickly turned away in embarrassment as Dodge's eyes lingered on her for a bit.

"It is Panic tradition to screw each other at the Graybill house challenge."

"And we all came for that reason," Ray smirked as laughter accompanied the group.

"The rules are simple. You guys stay inside till we come and get you. Players' points will be deducted when you submit proof of them being scared shitless. For tonight and tonight only, keep those cameras on."

"Sabotage is highly encouraged. As a reminder, Heather is still in the lead with 200 points. Dodge is closing up the gap with 175 and everyone else is holding up with 150. And last but not least, there is a 50-point bonus for whoever can solve the riddles in the blood."

Josie's eyes narrowed as she exhaled sharply. Deciding to get her head in the game and put all her energy into the challenge. She was gonna win no matter what the costs. She was more than determined now to win Panic and win the $50,000. Josie was holding up only 150 worth of points. If she wanted to be in the lead, she has definitely got to spend the whole night there with all of these people and solve all the riddles. She crosses her arms in impatience. All she wanted to do was to rush in there and get this whole thing over with.

"Uh, what do you mean, in the blood?" Drew quivered.

"Blood always tells."

"Good luck players."

----

Everyone began to make their way into the house. Flashlights lighting up the empty and dark foyer.

The Graybill house is haunted. Everyone in Carp knew that.

There was a legend surrounding this house. They said that old man Graybill bought the lands despite being warned by the locals that it was a site of burial grounds. He thought the warnings were foolish and decided to build the mansion right above the buried graves. It was a normal night like any other. Just as the children were getting ready to go to bed, blood trickled down their throats as it was slashed viciously with a knife. Screams were echoed in the walls of the house. As Mrs. Graybill left the bedroom to follow the source of the sound, she found her husband covered with blood and holding a knife dripping on the floor. The next thing they knew, four more graves were dug outside the house. The locals continued to be haunted as they saw the hanged figure of Graybill on top of his crooked tree.

This was a continuous horror story told by every single person in Carp. Whether it was to teach kids to not purchase haunted lands apparently or whether it was simply just to put a scare towards someone. But whatever it was, Josie thought it was bullshit.

As everyone warily hides behind Dodge as he first makes his way into the homestead, Josie unusually overtakes him, now being the first in the house. People whispered at her confident behavior. Normally, she would've gone with Heather and Natalie in challenges, but she was in a competitive mood and wants to be alone.

Josie shined her flashlight at the sight of blood splatters on the floor trailing to the wall. She was unfazed by this. There was no way the judges would use real blood for the game. It seemed too costly to buy actual blood just for a game.

"Anyone else freaked out by the random blood?" Drew asked. Shivers ran through the rest of the group as they examined the blood.

"If you're panicking at the sight of this, your certainly not gonna last long." Josie surmised.

She peered closer to the riddle written on the wall, touching the freshly painted blood. Feels real, she commented. Illuminating the flashlight at the wood for better insight. "Dorothy lost her ruby shoes. The wizard lost his head. The king was counting reasons for clues inside the dead." Josie read aloud. The competitors peering behind her were thinking hard about what the riddle meant.

"Wizard." Josie recited. The people in the room focused on her words. "Jimmy Wizard. It was Jim's nickname when Abby started dating him. Some of us started calling her Dorothy." She deduced. The mention of the previous kids' names sent chills down their spine.

"Holy shit," Shawna murmured.

"Clues inside the dead? If the judges are crazier as they seem, guess we have to find the bodies." Josie says.

The rest of the group follows the girl as she made her way further inside the house. Treading quietly and carefully behind her.

"AHHHH!!!"

Josie's screams echo the room. Her peers, except Dodge, stopped and flinched in panic as they heard her frightened scream. Their hearts beat heavily in their chests as they shake in apprehension. They looked around her direction, frighteningly wondering if the Graybill murder legend were true.

"What?! WHAT IS IT?!" One of them questioningly screams in fear.

"It's a chair." Josie hilariously turns back to them. Her flashlight shone below her face, mockingly imitating a ghost. She grins in wicked amusement at the group as they pretty much proved how they can easily pee their pants at a little ghost story.

The group looked pissed at the girl's smiling figure. Yep, she scared them. It might just give her an advantage now as everyone's already scared shitless.

Sparring no other glance at them, she wastes no time and went through the hallway and into the rooms of the house as the group tried to think about what is about to happen. Her mind was already all over the riddle. She went at her own pace. Stirring away from the group.

----

Josie looks around the house after getting a lead from the riddle she was solving. "The Cook and five to dinner, make six tally late. The final count's the winner behind the hands that wait."

Josie figured it was leading to the kitchen so she treaded towards there. She needed points if she wanted to catch up with the rest and win. This entire night was stressing her out. The brief talk about her mother affected her so much. But she needed to keep her head in the game. She wasn't scared of haunted houses. She didn't even believe this one is. It's the people here she was wary about. She wasn't teaming up with anybody. She certainly wasn't planning on hooking up with someone here to pass the time. Sabotage is plausible.

She wandered around the hallways looking for other possible clues. If this place was fixed upright, it could've been a nice house, she noted. Her flashlight examines the walls filled with torn-down wallpaper and broken picture frames. Just then, she stumbled upon a wooden door and a familiar figure trying to open it.

It was Dodge.

He breaks his attention at the entrance and turns around, recognizing the girl's presence. He sees her. Despite that, she abruptly turns around, ready to sprint away.

"You're avoiding me." Dodge pointed out the obvious.

Josie halted, squeezing her eyes shut. Shit, did he see me? Her mind started calculating if she were to run away, would he catch up. This is the last thing she needs right now. With the issue at home, she didn't expect to run into him. She can do this. Can you? Her mind fought against her. She can't handle talking to him right now, but she decided to suck it up for the challenge.

Josie turns back to him. "What? No." Her nose flares. It was clearly a lie. She tried to pass on a nonchalant expression, which failed by the look on Dodge's face.

"Need help?" Not knowing what else to say, she changes the subject. He extends his arm to the door, gesturing "after you." He moves to the side, giving her space. Josie walked towards the door, moving beside him.

The pair tried to open the lock. Pushing the door but it won't budge. With her attention on something else, Dodge used the opportunity to examine the girl. This has been the closest they've been since the player's ball. It was only been a couple of days but it felt like months. He'd only seen her whenever she would pass by the diner or around town and would run the other way. It was good to see her. Dodge's eyes traveled down, noticing the bandage wrapped around the girl's hand.

"What happened to your hand?" He stops his actions, moving his attention to her injured palm.

"Nothing," she brushed off. This doesn't stop him. Dodge grabbed her hand, gently inspecting it. He traced the burnt mark on her hand with his fingers. Just softly touching the bandage above the surface as he looks at it seriously. Josie exhales, trying to ignore the exchange.

"I burned my hand." She explained. Dodge snaps his head back, breaking his look on her hand and onto her. His eyes daunting hers. "It was an accident." She continued. "I was cooking and my hand touched the pot or something..." She yanks her hand out of his hold. "It's nothing."

"You should be careful, y'know." Dodge sighs.

"You sound like my brother."

She successfully opened the lock as they began pushing open the door. The sound of wood scraped against the cold floor as they finally made it into the kitchen. Dust and cobwebs were made visible surrounding the room as their flashlights illuminated the area. The lights flickered on and off as they entered the room. They continue to examine the corners of the room, looking for clues, till their gaze settled on each other.

"That's what I call mood lighting." Her sarcasm is evident.

"Aren't you afraid of the curse?"

"I'm pretty sure I have bigger problems than a little electricity." She beams up towards the flickering lights right above them.

Silence befalls them. Josie trying not to think about Dodge's lingering eyes sneaking a look at her. His haunting presence beside Josie. She should just solve the riddle and get out of there. Yep, that's the plan. Dodge can't seem to shake away his thoughts about her too. This is not the place nor the time to talk about this. But he needed to. He wanted to. He just had to know.

"So is there a reason why you've been avoiding me?" He breaks the silence.

She averts her gaze. "I'm not avoiding you."

"You know your nose flares up when you lie."

Josie was speechless at his observation. She blinked fast, trying to hide the heat rising to her cheeks. She decided to ignore him. That seems easy enough. She moved towards the corners basically any direction where he isn't, searching for possible clues.

"I doubt they'd hide a clue at the sink." Dodge taunts her. "Maybe try the dishwasher."

Her eyes rolled. Josie was already pissed off at the beginning but her annoyance seems to grow bigger by the second as she inhales sharply. She's still on edge at the talk back home about her mom coming back. Her feeling of embarrassment from sharing personal stuff with Dodge is still there too. Both things seem to be striking her at the same time. She soon takes out her anger at the kitchen stuff. The scrabbling sound echoes in the kitchen area. Josie tries to remain composure as the other boy casually leans against the wall watching the girl rummaging stuff.

"My bad. I don't think they have a dishwasher at this house."

She broke composure. "What is your problem?!"

"Me?" Dodge innocently asks. "I don't have any problem. Maybe you have a problem with me."

She exhales the breath she didn't know she was holding. She knows where this was going. Dodge saw the fragile expression of the girl. He decided to shoot his shot and ask her the questions that have been stuck in his brain ever since.

"Are you really just gonna keep ignoring me forever?"

"It's been three days." She corrects.

"Is this about the night of the party? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Dodge motions towards her. He tries to reach for Josie's hand but the girl moves further away from him. Josie shakes her head, she runs her fingers through her hair in frustration. "You know you can tell me anything right."

"Just because I told you my sob story doesn't mean I wanna run to you whenever I have a problem."

"We're not friends, Dodge. Ok." She coldly says. "We're nothing and you're nothing to me. So you can stop this good guy act you are waving at my face and just leave me alone." She tried to exit the kitchen, not liking where this is leading towards. Josie needed him to be far away. Josie needed him to stop. For both their sakes. She didn't have time for this. This is the last thing she expected to happen tonight.

Dodge blinked. He wasn't gonna lie when he'd say her words didn't hurt. Dodge could see the pent-up anger in her was doing all the talk but Josie's words still cut through him like a knife. He'd never been the one to care about what other people thought about him but hearing her say that she was nothing to him...it stung. Dodge looks down at his feet, debating in his mind what he should do.

"You think that's gonna do you any good?" He asks.

Dodge's words made Josie halt her steps just as she was about to walk through the door.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"And I don't remember you answering my question." Dodge enunciated. "You think running away is gonna solve your problems? It's not."

"Maybe you should just learn how to back off from time to time, don't you think?" She snaps at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're suffocating, Dodge. You're suffocating to me. And you're probably suffocating Dayna."

This was the trigger. "Don't talk about Dayna."

"Why? I'm just speaking the truth."

"You know what else is the truth? You complaining about your mom running away from your family, but you're out here doing the same thing she's doing."

"Shut up! I AM NOT!" She defends

"REALLY?" He says widely. "Then what was that whole thing you've been doing for the past few days?"

He cornered her into a wall. She leaned back, overwhelmed with everything. Amongst the other growing feelings, it scared her. This man who she has only known for a few weeks had known more about her than anyone else in her life. Not only that but he also proved how she could talk to him if she wants to. Why does he care so much? Josie's always been cautious of people. They either left or disappointed her. She wasn't gonna make the same mistake again.

"So what's it gonna be, Jo..." He drew closer. "What do you want?"

That was the question. Josie closes her eyes, sinking in the exhaustion she was feeling. She was tired. She was tired of all of this. She was tired of the argument. She was tired of avoiding Dodge. She was tired of carrying this baggage and weight on her shoulders. She can't breathe. Everything else in the world felt like a giant ball trapping her, having no else to go. Slowly the corners of its inside grow smaller and smaller, crushing her. Opening her eyes once more, she found Dodge staring deep into her. She felt like he could hear her thoughts. Know every single word running through her mind. Know the next move she was gonna make just before her brain could process it. Josie knew what she must do. She stood up straight, the cold facade showcased clearly towards Dodge.

"To win the game."

Josie walked past him, finally exiting the kitchen door and making her way to the hallway. Dodge exhaled at her fading figure. He ran his hands across his hair exhaustingly at what just happened. He meant what he said when he said she could go to him. She could talk to him about anything, and he would sit down and listen. He thought they were actually getting along but her reaction made him question a lot. That night wandered on his mind. He was frustrated and confused at the girl. All Dodge could do was retreat back from the walls in his mind. For the first time in his life, he wasn't sure what to do next.

----

After her walking away further from the kitchen and following a trail of clues that lead her into an isolated bedroom, Josie collapses, sitting down near the wall. Trying not to let her growing tears streaming down her face. Her arms wrapped around herself. She tried her best to remain silent. Hearing other voices in the other room. Josie fidgets her hands resting on her lap. If anyone else saw her, they might as well mess with her right now. Her mind didn't drift towards Panic, but just by the thought of people seeing her so vulnerable. She hated feeling weak despite it being a natural feeling.

She exhaled frustratingly. What is wrong with me? The question echoed through her head like a church bell. Dodge probably thought she was messing with him. Being all nice to him one day and then suddenly turning to the other page. He was right. She was running away. Maybe it's genetics. Or a thing that runs to their family and had only skipped Nick. The bedroom lights continued to flicker above her peering figure. Technically, it wasn't the house that was scaring her. It was something...someone else.

Josie darted her attention to the door as it suddenly closed. The feeling of worry transitioned to anger as soon as she heard a click of the lock and a couple of giggles from the other side. As she said, Sabotage is plausible.

"Haha. Very funny," she says unimpressed. "Now, open the door. It's freezing in here."

Josie waited. Waited for anyone from the outside to listen to her and open the door. Trying to get a glimpse of the sight behind the door through a tiny keyhole, Josie cursed under her breath. Fuck. No one was there. He or she just left her locked inside the room. Unbelievable. This was probably payback for messing with them earlier in the challenge, she figured. Josie kicks in frustration as she remains locked inside.

----

As the hour of the night continued, Dodge made his way further into the lower ground of the Graybill house, taking note of the cobwebs and bags of dust filling the pathway. Regardless of the frigid eeriness of the setting, Dodge kept his cool. Moving swiftly, silently, and carefully, illuminating his forward movement with only the booming silence filling the room. Normally, other kids would've been frightened just by being an inch close to the house. But not Dodge. He wasn't scared. That was what Panic is all about: no fear. Dodge has fears. Everybody does. But he couldn't afford to be scared. He wasn't afraid. He just didn't care.

Suddenly stopping at his feet, Dodge breaks his attention from the darted walls. The boy holds his breath as he sees a haunting silhouette that his brain optimistically anticipates who it could be. As Dodge tries to further solve the riddles in the house, he's been internally hoping that he would cross paths with the girl once more. A single footstep or a breath of the wind gave him chills. He tried not to seem disappointed when he turns back and see that it wasn't her. But he was. Dodge crossed the line by mentioning her mother. But the way Josie mentioned Dayna had set him off. Before the boy could apologize for a second slower than his realization, Josie dashed out of the kitchen. The conversation obviously got out of hand. Dodge called out her name but she dismissed it.

Peering his flashlight visually closer to the darkening figure, Dodge sighed in annoyance at the appearance of Ray Hall and his lackey, Tyler Young, wandering behind him as they spotted the house's basement.

"And I'm telling you, that bitch just left me there for dead—" Tyler tells Ray.

The teens' eyes squinted as the lean boy continued to shine a bright glare onto them, striding closer to them. Ray challengingly smirked as he saw the adamant Dodge Mason.

"You wanna smoke in the shithole?" Ray asks Dodge, pointing at the door.

"Nah. I'm cool."

"Well, if you change your mind..." Tyler grinningly laughs before heading his way down the basement, then followed by Ray.

Disappointment striking again, Dodge decided to ignore those pending thoughts and continue with the challenge. Opening double doors, Dodge enters a desolated room. It was cleared. Nothing on the floors. Nothing hanging from the ceiling. It was skeptically empty. The only thing filling the room was the mucky, old curtains, and a large clock.

Wait, he thought.

Surveying back to the clock, Dodge's brows wrinkled as he noticed the hour hands stopping still at the numbers five and six.

"Five to dinner. Six late" Dodge recited from memory. "Behind the hand."

Dodge examines closer to the timepiece. Looming over for any traces of hints to finally solve the challenge and get out of there. He jiggles the device again. Pushing and pulling it back and forth, searching for a way to open the clock. Dodge looks over at the top, bottom, and behind the piece. Finally, his eyes narrowed, staring straight into the X-marked in red ink right on top of the electric circuit. Dodge hastily drags the large clock out of the way to get a closer glimpse of whatever's inside the thing.

The taste of victory felt somewhat bitter as the boy's mind was filled with confusion as he reads out from a small piece of paper.

Emma Campbell, Eddie Douglas, John Davis, Abby Clark, and Jimmy Cortez

"This was all the people who've died on the game."

Clues inside the dead. His mind lingered back to what Josie previously recited earlier on. Even so, he was still bewildered by all of this. He didn't understand why the names of the previous players have been mentioned. Is it some kind of game the judges are playing at?

Speculating even further, Dodge moved fingers back to the powerless outlet. At a stroke of bad luck, a strobe of electrical light bursts out of the socket like a flash of lightning as the power comes back on, throwing and knocking Dodge out swiftly.

----

Still trapped, Josie hugs herself, taking a moment to examine the empty room she could only assume was the master's bedroom, judging by the size, figuring out a way to unlock the door. The dark night seems to set her back as she only had the moonlight to illuminate her surroundings.

Like an intuition, she turns towards the positioned lamp across from her. Looking weirdly over at the flickering light inside its bulb.

Josie's shoulders quivered upwards as the lights suddenly came back on.

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