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schrijverr · 4 months

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Batman Fatale

While on a mission with the Justice League, Batman (who hasn’t revealed his secret identity) pulls out his Brucie voice, shocking the others.

Inspired by Head Problems by That_One_Curly_Haired_Fangirl on AO3.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

The Justice League is going for stealth, something Bruce didn’t think they were capable off, but so far he’s been pleasantly surprised. Though, maybe the promise of a good brawl later is what is keeping them quiet.

They’re infiltrating into Luthor’s office, underneath which he is building a robot army to overtake the world in the name of peace. Hacking in to disable them means sounding the alarm and Bruce has already calculated that it will take too long for him not to get swarmed by them, before he can take them out. Hence, the League, who will keep them off his back while he works.

However, they’ve run into a bit of roadblock in the form of the security guard, who is manning the front desk during the night shift.

Everyone has thrown out ideas to take him out, but Bruce wants to attract attention as late as possible and there are likely human operatives further down as well. They’ll notice if the guard were to disappear.

Besides, the guy, Amir, cleared his background check when he was planning this mission. He doesn’t know what he’s guarding and is just trying to make ends meat.

So, he holds up his hand and the whispered deliberation quiets down. As he pulls out his phone, he says: “I’ll handle this. Wait for my orders.”

They all shoot him confused and wary looks as he sets to dialing on his phone, keeping the screen away from them. He can say that it hurts that they don’t fully trust him, but he doesn’t care. He has his own family/team back in Gotham and if being a mysterious prick keeps his kids safe, he’ll gladly play the part.

He knew this roadblock might come up, so he prepared in advance. So, within seconds he is bringing the phone to his ear, while the others continue to look between him and the guard that’s on the other side of the glass doors.

Bruce mentally laughs, they probably expect assassins to swoop down and drag the man into the shadows.

Which is the opposite of what happens, because instead Amir startles then looks down at his now ringing phone. He smiles, then looks around a bit, checking that the coast is clear and completely missing the League, before picking up.

As Amir looks around, Hal hisses: “What the hell are you doing, Spooks? You don’t call the guy you wanna sneak-”

He shuts him up with a hand over his mouth, because Amir has picked up now. “Hey, hi, uhm, how are you doing, John?”

John is the fake name he used on the dating profile with the doctored photos. He feels a little bad about catfishing him, it’s slimy and Amir is actually cute too. Still, can’t be helped, so he puts as much Brucie charm into his voice as he flirty replies: “Hi, Amir, I’m good, just lonely. Would be better if you were with me. I’m practically indecent here for you.”

Immediately all the League’s heads snap his way, but he ignores them in favor of observing Amir. He is blushing, but looks pleased, before he sags a little. “I would love you, you’re so handsome-”

“I’d prefer pretty,” Bruce interrupts. “If you’re letting me down, at least call me pretty so I’ll know what it’ll sound like from you.”

Now Amir’s darker skin gets even more dark as he continues to blush. He stammers: “No, no, no. Not letting you down. Fuck. You’re so pretty, John. Of course I’m not letting you down. I’m just working, pretty boy, just working.”

“Booo,” Bruce whines, knowing how to sound appealing instead of annoying, albeit a little spoiled. “Can’t you just have a little break? Where do you work? I can come over, little blowie in the ally on a smoke break never hurt anybody.”

Amir groans at the offer, leaning back in his chair and looking at the ceiling, feeling a little despair by the look on his face. “I could get fired,” he protests, but it’s weak. Got him.

Bruce knows that he’s going to get fired anyway for letting them pass, but at least like this he’s out of harm’s way. He’s planning on offering him a job anyway. So, he insists again: “Promise I’ll get you off before they notice. It’ll tide me over until they let you go and you can show me what a proper good time is.”

Now Amir is looking around, no one except the League (who are all still staring and he wishes they’d stop) to see. So, he relents: “Alright, I work at the Luthor office. Uptown, you know it?”

“Oh my god, you’re kidding?” Bruce laughs in his most ditzy Brucie voice. “I’m literally at one of the bars down the street.”

“And what are you doing there?” Amir asks, trying to sound flirty, but coming across as a little insecure. It’s cute on him.

Bruce imagines himself twirling the phone cord at this point as he bats his eyes through his voice as he says: “Feeling lonely and thinking about you.”

Amir looks relieved at that, straightening up again as he asks: “Well, I can change one part of that for you. How fast can you get here?”

“Like two minutes,” Bruce answers.

“Meet you in the alley on the left then,” Amir says. “See you soon.”

“See you soon, handsome,” Bruce greets back, before hanging up. The second the line is dead, he reverts back to Batman’s voice and grunts: “Get ready to move.”

“What the fuck was that, Batman!” Hal is unsurprisingly the first to break. He never does know how to keep his mouth shut during stealth missions.

“Are you still Batman? Please tell me you’re still Batman. Because if you’ve been replaced by some alien, shape shifter or pod person, I don’t know what to do with myself. So you have to be Batman, even though Batman is creepy and mean and stand-offish and not flirty and-”

“Flash, quiet,” Bruce cuts of the rambling of the speedster. He’s not in the mood.

“You can at least tell us how you know the guard,” Clark speaks up, going for firm leader. Bruce can respect him for trying to lead these people who are all obviously not used to working as a team nor good at it. But the boy scout act sometimes gets on Bruce’s nerves.

He’s sure his kids and Alfred will have something to say about it, pointing to his trust issues that makes him perceive everything as an interrogation, but they aren’t here right now. Plus, he knows Damian at least will be on his side. He has people in his camp.

… Though that might not be a good thing. Hm, should he talk to Damian about it?

“It seems familiar somehow,” Oliver comments and Bruce hopes Amir moves soon. The last thing he wants is for Ollie to figure out who is under the cowl, the man is insufferable enough as it is.

“Batman?” Clark prompts, apparently he’s been quiet for long enough.

Falling back on one of his contingencies, he says: “Everyone should have skills in the acting and grifting department. Contact is sometimes unavoidable. I study people and I plan ahead. This is planning ahead.”

Right at that moment, Amir finally moves. Bruce feels a little bad about standing him up, but is glad to grapple away from the rest of the League. He hopes there will be a fight soon, because that way no one can ask him more questions.

#rr writing #batman #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #clark kent #superman #hal jordan #green latern #green arrow #oliver queen #flash #barry allen #justice league #jl #jla #dc #dc comics

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absolutelynotsanebaby · 1 year

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Blorbo!

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dc-multiverse-week · 2 months

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Earth-9: Home to heroes with the same names as the champions of Earth-0, but vastly different natures. The Atom is the world's foremost superhero, Superman is a powerful and increasingly dangerous telepath, the light-powered Flash is the first human born in space, and Batman is a time-lost spirit seeking justice

#earth 9 #active heroes:#atom #batman #superman #the flash #green latern #the joker #they're the heroes you know and love except nothing like them lol #<<in case that's a selling point for you #dc multiverse week #dc multiverse #dc comics

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wolfsbanesparks · 1 year

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Hey Wolf, hear me go crazy for a moment, will ya?

I just found out/heard that Guy Gardner used to be a social worker/teacher in some versions before becoming a green latern??? Him being a either of those surprises me a lot, but what surprises me more is that we haven't seen any of that kind of interaction with Billy! Imagine that! Billy Batson having to attend summer school and assigned a mentor to help kids like him get on the right track in life, and of all people he gets assigned Guy flipping Gardner.

It'd be funny if it didn't take long at all for him to find out Billy was Captain Marvel, and bc he was supposed to be a mentor to the kid, keeps it a secret, but totally brags about knowing Cap's secret identity to the league and being better than them.

Oh! He could even help Billy fight Mr. Mind! alongside a very annoyed Hal Jordan and John Stewart, hahahaha

I know nothing much about the Green Laterns, but this sounds like so much that I'd research all the comics just to write this

I knew the second you said "let me go crazy" that I would enjoy the scenario!

I don't know too much about Guy, but him being a teacher and/or a social worker is really cool!

This whole set up of Guy being Billy’s tutor/mentor is even more hilarious if you include the fact that Cap and Guy had a very antagonistic rivalry/feud when the were on the JLI together. Like it was full on name calling, bickering, petty revenge. Guy exclusively referred to him as Captain Whitebread for a while.

So adding that to him mentoring Billy would set up some really fun interactions. I can just imagine him figuring out Billy’s secret ID only to have an existential crisis about having beef with a 10 year old.

But he would still brag about knowing Cap's secret ID, no question about that. But people would think he was lying/not believe him because of their rocky relationship. He could literally say Cap is a kid, show them a picture of Billy, show them a video of the transformation, and people would still think he was just trying to mess with them and Cap. Guy knows this, but Billy refuses to take that chance.

So Guy will be like "finish your homework and no one finds out you’re a literal child"

And Billy will grumble about it, but do as he's told. He still messes with Guy though both as Billy and as Cap.

#billy batson #shazam #dc captain marvel #guy gardner #green latern #ask me whatever you want y'all #dc comics #i really need to read my green lantern stuff #i love everything i learn about them

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mikeluciraphgabe · 2 years

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Context: all the bats wanted to go with Bruce to an emergency JL meeting

Clark, at the end: Any questions?

Damian, slowing raising hand: I have one.

Bruce, lifting eyebrow: Is it relevant?

Damian: No… not really, Father. *pouts just slightly cuz that works on Bruce. We all know it does*

Bruce, slightly bored: Ask anyway I guess.

Damian, turning to Hal: Are you, I don’t know, a vrigin?

Hal, offended: I? What?

Damian, shrugging: It’s just… you look like a virgin.

Bruce: *laughing hysterically behind his Batman Face*

All the other birds: *straight out crying hysterically and patting Damian on the back because WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT. AND TO HAL. WELL DONE DAMES!*

Hal, gaping: Arent you like, 9!?

Damian: aren’t you 40? Haha, you’re a 40 year old virgin

Bruce: *starts laughing out loud*

#SOMEONE DRAW THIS #Menace Damian #let him free DC #let him be a little shit #damain wayne #Bruce Wayne #hal jordon #green latern #Robin #Batman #batfam #batdad

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jasontoddssuper · 6 months

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Jason,snickering:Why does Tim call you babygirl?

Stephanie:Because i deserve it.Why dosen't Kyle call you back?

Jason:...........I'm gonna give you five seconds to run

Stephanie:Oh yeah,you would last only five seconds,wouldn't you,Virgin Hood

Jason:*Twitches violently*You're making it really hard for me to not go back to killing

Stephanie,shrugging and smiling mockingly:I mean go ahead if you wanna,Gotham will just raise me from the dead again anyway

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missesstargirl · 1 year

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THIS MF REFERENCE AAAa

#batman #batfamily #the wayne family #webtoon #batman fanart #green latern #jason peter todd #jason todd #dick grayson #timdrake #damianwayne #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #cass cain #bruce wayne

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cerealboxlore · 6 months

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21!

WIP #21: A Day In Your Shoes

"Okay okay, slow down dude, let's be honest, for real here." Flash raised his hand to the conversation, trying not to spit out any of the food in his mouth while laughing. He wasn't very successful. "In what world is someone named Mr. Banjo, a threat? I just can't take that seriously, I'm not sorry!"

Captain Marvel raised an eyebrow at the speedster. He pretended to scoff at the remark. "Hey now, I don't poke fun at any of your rogues, now do I? I know plenty of rogues have silly names but they can be very dangerous." A true statement from the Big Red Cheese. Plenty of League members had fought many rogues with interesting names and a varying array of power sets, so sometimes written reports would seem more odd and fictional rather than real, despite their truth.

Billy still couldn't believe there was a rogue named Condiment King! Condiment. King. In Gotham of all places. And people think Fawcett is weird. He's tempted to do a segment on this during his next radio show segment at WHIZ Radio. He's been itching to make an episode with his friend Whitey from the studio, and this seems right up his alley. He wants to run a script through his head but is interrupted by another voice.

"Oh yeah, I totally don't want to get in the way of Mr. Banjo playing Rainbow Connection at me." Green Lantern chimed in, arriving late to the scene but coming prepared to join the fun.

Barry smirked with a wide grin, and Captain Marvel resisted the urge to insult his rogues in return. He had better things to do than contribute to petty conversations about who has the worst (better?) rogues.

"Actually the banjo is a cursed magical artifact from the Rock of Eternity itself. Surprisingly, it's sentient, so it connects to the host of whoever holds it and-"

"And there it is! The magical oddity of Fawcett City. Everything is just so whimsical there, isn't it? I mean, I know you have your fair share of serious rogues, Cap, but let's not joke around here, I'd love to fight some of your rogues for a day instead of mine. It'd be a nice break." Other heroes in the break room chimed in, adding their own lines of agreement and sharing their exhaustion stories of fighting their rogues. Meanwhile, Captain Marvel crossed his arms, thinking of an idea that gave him a mischievous smile.

"Oh? Is that so? If you think you can last a day in my city, I'd dare you to try."

#WIP 21 #wips #billy batson #dc captain marvel #shazam #the flash #barry allen #green latern #hal jordan #justice league #dc comics #This is one of my favorites rn #I can't wait to finish it!

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thebuhonerodazorrow · 9 months

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Knight Terrors - Green Lantern #2 (2023)

Doorway to death

Dawn of dc

Ver todas

#Knight Terrors #Jeremy adams #Eduardo pansica #darick robertson #diego rodriguez doig #dc comics #comics #comic covers #scifi #comic books #sci-fi #dc #green latern #hal jordan #dawn of dc

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hershhersh · 9 days

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Did I unlock a memory for you guys?

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schrijverr · 4 months

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The Hearts of Gotham 2

Chapter 2 out of 7

Bruce makes the Justice League believe he has two hearts and is a manifestation of Gotham’s night to throw them off his secret identity, not trusting them. When the sound system breaks, he doesn’t come clean, but lies instead that he split into two to make Robin. From there it spirals as all the Robins make the lies grow and twist it in their own ways, until the truth comes out.

This fic is based on this post and inspired by Bouncing Baby Bat, or so the Justice League is led to believe... by EmpressGeek.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

Chapter 2: How Dick Followed in his Footsteps

Dick is the first Robin and therefore gets to do a lot of first, such as being the first of Batman’s sidekicks to meet the Justice League, as well as be the first of them to lie to the Justice League.

Later he’ll defend himself by saying that he didn’t know any better. He was nine and didn’t question it when B said they were pretending to not be human. For all he knew the Justice League didn’t let in any humans. What did he know? He hadn’t met them yet.

At the time, he is just thrilled, absolutely delighted. He is going to meet the Justice League! He’s going to meet Superman!

Superman has been his hero for ages and for a bit it looked like B was never going to let him meet him, just because he’s a little bit of a worrywart and doesn’t see that Superman is the greatest. So, when he finally gets the go-ahead, he doesn’t mind that he has to lie a little. It’s an exercise in undercover work, Superman can’t be mad about him wanting to become a better hero.

Thus, there is a pep in his step as he excitedly trails after B into the Watchtower for the first time, new suit on and his cover freshly rehearsed.

They enter a big room with a table, around which all the Justice League members are sitting. A few start to greet Batman, but the room falls silent when Dick peeks out from behind him to stare in awe at the assembled heroes.

For a second, their scrutiny becomes a bit much, and despite his confidence, he ducks back behind B, clutching his cape for comfort.

Bruce doesn’t mind that Dick is a little shy. He himself was never shy in front of the League, but certainly cautious at first. It’s a good instinct. However, he knows how much he looked forward to this, so he quietly nudges him and says: “It’s okay, Robin. You can go say hi.”

At that, Dick glares at him, probably feeling condescended. Bruce tries not to find it adorable as he holds his hands up in a placating manner while Dick steps out from behind him with confidence.

“Hello, Justice League,” he greets them, puffing out his little chest as if he’s in the ring of the circus. He is still a bit nervous, but he knows how to hide it.

“Hello,” Superman says, the first to snap out of it. He floats over to them and holds out his hand: “I am Superman.”

“I’m Robin,” Dick introduces himself proudly, shaking Superman’s hand. He wants to freak out a little, but he also wants to be cool, like B always is.

“It is nice to meet you,” Superman smiles and Dick wants to jump up and down and scream, but he keeps it inside.

A gush of wind distracts him, before he can embarrass himself. When he blinks and looks up, the Flash is leaning over him. “Oh, hello,” Dick says, giving the Flash a smile. He likes the Flash, he’s cool.

“Hi,” Flash greets back excitedly. “I don’t know whether I expected you to be bigger of smaller when Batman said he’d introduce you. How old are you anyway? Did you just grow fast? Or just come out like that?”

“Flash,” Superman warns quietly, eyes flicking between Dick and B.

Dick realizes that they don’t know if it’s okay to ask questions, since B is such a private person and not a normal human in their eyes. And that Dick isn’t either. This is his moment to show B that he’s getting better at undercover work.

So, he grins as sweetly as he can up at Flash and answers: “I don’t have an age, silly. I’m the light of Gotham’s night. I’ve always existed, I just wasn’t needed until now.”

He’s still a bit unsure about the lie they’re telling, but while the two heroes seem surprised, they do seem to believe him. Despite sending B a questioning look.

B just grunts, then adds: “He’s still young, but he’ll grow. No involving him in League Missions.”

“Ahw, B,” Dick whines, B knows how much he wants to fight alongside Superman. “I can join just fine, I promise. I’ll even stay behind you the whole time and everything.”

“No,” B says sternly, his tone telling Dick that he’s not going to win this argument no matter how much he begs. So, he starts pouting immediately, pleased when B softens and says: “But if you behave you can come to training. Deal?”

“Deal,” Dick grins brightly, forcing B into a pinky promise, because you can’t break those, while you’re allowed to lie about a handshake.

He cheers, because while getting to train with the Justice League isn’t as cool as fighting with them, but it’s more than he thought he’d get out of B and still pretty hecking cool. If he could talk about this part of his life with his school friends, he’d so brag about it.

As he cheers, Diana slides up next to Bruce, watching the young boy with fondness, yet concern. She asks: “Are you sure that’s not an actual human child, Batman?”

Bruce feels a little bad as he lies: “The light of Gotham’s night is bright. Brightness is that of the youth.”

Clark – endlessly kind and a little naive – backs him up: “I can hear another heart like Batman has, though it’s younger, fluttery. Is he okay?”

“Yes,” Bruce assures him, he has chosen the heartbeat of an actual bird to sell the bit and to get Superman on his side in case Dick would continue to argue about not being able to come with them on missions. “He is new to being a vigilante.” Not a lie. “His heart will grow as he does.” Kind of true as a metaphor. “Like mine reformed.” Blatant lie.

At that, Clark pauses and cocks his head to the side, listening. Then he says: “It’s the same heartbeat. Like entirely.”

“I said it reformed. The heart of Gotham does not change,” Bruce answers. “It just gets more solid and grows.”

While they’re having that conversation, Dick is gets done cheering. However, before he can join B in his conversation, he’s distracted by Green Lantern saying: “No, it does make sense. I mean, have you seen Gotham? It’s gloomy all the time, most of the light they get are traffic lights and street lights.”

“Oh yeah, and he did say he’s the light of Gotham’s night. No sun during the night,” Flash nods. “The costume does still seem a little impractical, though.”

“Hey,” Dick exclaims, glaring a the two heroes when they startle and turn to him. “My costume is very practical. I can kick your assess any day.”

Green Lantern and Flash look at him and for a moment Dick thinks they’re going to laugh at him. A lot of people have been laughing at him and it makes him angry. Just because he’s not big like B, doesn’t mean they can just dismiss him. He can fight! B and Alfred both say so.

And his costume is his Grayson costume, it’s not stupid or impractical. It’s a homage. He is creating a symbol for himself, like B did. But then a happier one, because his parents made people happy and he wants to continue doing that. Carry on their legacy.

“Why do I feel kind of threatened?” Green Lantern whispers to Flash, who whispers back: “He’s definitely related to Batman.”

It makes Dick feel better and he sends them a big grin, delighting when they seemingly startle back. He gets why B lies to them now, it’s kind of fun.

However, before he can continue being a terror, B puts a hand on his shoulder and says: “Don’t scare the League, Robin.”

“You’re no fun,” Dick pouts as the two heroes he’d been talking to try and convince everyone that they weren’t scared.

After that meeting, B does try to keep him away from the Justice League – bar the one training session, because he pinky promised. Then Dick totally kicked ass, showing off his flips, both proud and a bit miffed that none of them thought a human boy could do that.

Neither of them tell the League when Barbara joins their ranks and they stay contained to Gotham, out of the heroes sights, since they don’t dare to enter.

Honestly, Dick truly doesn’t think about it until it’s been years as B’s sidekick and he’s desperate to branch out on his own. He leaves Gotham, just for a bit, collects other sidekicks and young heroes, who have the same idea and forms his own team, modeled after the Justice League.

Then, he is suddenly reminded, because Kid Flash – Wally, his mind supplies immediately – exclaims upon seeing him: “Oh my god, you’re Robin! Batman’s mysterious sidekick, you were once a part of him and shit, right? My uncle told me all about it, that’s crazy. Are you really a manifestation of the light Gotham’s night? Is it true that you have two hearts?”

Dick is thrown off for a second, especially when some of the others start to questions too. Wanting to know more about him, as part of the team.

A part of Dick wants to tell them the truth, however, he is stopped. Not only will he undermine B in doing so (something he doesn’t want to do, he just wants to make a name for himself), but he’ll also be putting himself at a disadvantage.

Now, he isn’t paranoid like B is, but he’s been working with the man for years and his cautious tendencies have rubbed off on him. If he tells them it’s a lie, they have information to hold over him and Batman, plus they’ll know he’s only human.

There is nothing wrong with being human, in fact, Dick is quite proud of it. However, while he is capable of beating most – if not all – of his teammates, they might not thinks so. And if they’re going to work together, Dick doesn’t want them underestimating them.

So, he says: “Yeah, I am and, yeah, I have,” and establishes the legacy of lies that all the other Robin’s would follow. Though he doesn’t know it at the time.

A/N:

I always forget how difficult it is to write early days Dick until im in omg, bc my boy is happy sunshine, but also angry ball of rage and a baby, so it’s a whole balancing act lmao

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