Parent: "If you stand up for yourself, you're disrespectful."

Parent: "If you don't stand up for yourself, you're not a real man."

Parent: "Where did I go wrong? I did the best I could."

people are discriminated against - sometimes violently - for their sex traits. but not in whatever fucked up and bigotted way radfems mean that. sex and gender are different things, despite people acting as otherwise.

and there is no set of privileged sex traits. it's all dependent on what traits an individual has/doesn't have, how they identify/express themselves, and how they're perceived. any one of those things being "off" can lead to discrimination in relation to sex traits.

so as a trans intersex person, i sincerely wish this is what "sex based discrimination" referred to. it's something anyone can experience, and it's not fucking fair the phrase is taken on by bigots pretending to be fighting for women's rights.

It's all connected. Corporations began marketing gay pride themed merchandise. An increase in "I-identify-as" populations began to flood gay bars and events, where outward appearance (marketed as "gender expression") became heavily emphasized.

Commercial visibility and marketability does not equal human rights progress.

Ability to consume does not equal citizenship to an oppressed group.

Biology, (referring to sexual orientation and sex) is not a brand you can buy into or boycott out of.

Corporations selling rainbows do not reflect our values.

The churning out of new "all inclusive" pride flags to pledge allegiance to is not indicative of liberation.

A historical homosexual slur being sold by the multi-billion dollar media obfuscates predominantly lesbian relationships ("queer women", "queer relationship") and retraumatizes many gay and lesbian people.

Gay pride only extending to people able to purchase detracts from the meaning of gay pride and distracts from the struggles of the most vulnerable. It positions the most privileged within marginalized and oppressed groups as those who represent the whole.

And associating body modification, aestheticism, and "expression" with self identity turns the lived experiences and material realities of entire subgroups of people into niche market categories that people who aren't even a part of these groups can identify into and out of based on social trends.

Biology becomes devalued, overshadowed by the social and manufactured "genders". Infinite genders means infinite target audiences. Lived, material realities of certain groups of people become materialism.

Human rights movements are becoming human rights industries, with the wealthy more directly capitalizing off of the exploitation of the poor, of the homosexual, of the female, of the immigrant, of the dark skinned, of the mentally ill, of the disabled, of the sick, of the marginalized and oppressed.

Don't buy into it.

Current day Wolfstar(let me preface this by saying, you should take liberties when it comes to these character, JKR sucks, these are just my gripes with how the fandom currently perceives these two)

Aka I’m annoyed so I’m making it everyone else’s problem. The “stupid feminine Sirius who’s 5’4 and who’s oh so much uglier than Remus, and he’s basically just a charity case!” STOP IT, stop it stop it, stop it. I have zero problem with feminine Sirius, go wild, my problem is with relating femininity to weakness and stupidity.

Also, I am so, SO sick of “big alpha 6’5 hot Gryffindor Casanova Remus Lupin”, not only does it not make sense, it’s annoying, and it reinforces gender roles. Remus Lupin spent his whole life being told he was basically a big scary monster, who can’t be around other children, HOW do you think he would react to being perceived as this big angry asshole with no regard for the people around him?

ALSO, Remus Lupin was NOT drop dead gorgeous, I’m sorry to say, he was not the hottest guy around(that is still my darling man and I will not tolerate anything against my darling man), he was a scrawny werewolf with scars, and premature lines and shabby clothing, if anything, he looked like an anemic average British man in the seventies, if not below average.

Sirius was literally “Hogwarts’ pretty boy”. I’m not saying this to make Remus seem like a charity case, because, wolfstar is pointless when you make one the “man” or “woman”, or “hot” and “ugly”, i’m saying this because Casanova Remus Lupin annoys me, if ANYONE was “Casanova of Gryffindor Tower” it was Sirius Black. (I also think people forget the negative connotation with the term “Casanova”, which is sometimes annoying to see when talking about Remus, or Sirius)

Also, I could talk about how canonically, Sirius was the tallest marauder, or how a huge part of his character was HOW hot he was, I could talk about how he was hotter than Regulus, i COULD talk about how Remus wasn’t the smartest marauder, I could talk about how Sirius is canonically an overly clever wizard, I could talk about how if anyone is aggressive between the two, it was Sirius, but, I don’t think I will, because that will seem like I’m trying to push Sirius being the “aggressive man” of the two, and Remus being the “ugly woman” of the two, and I don’t believe that,

Wolfstar has now become just a way to reinforce gender roles on two characters, and that’s gross, making Remus the smart aggressive “man” of the relationship, and Sirius the stupid small “woman” of the relationship, is just gross dude.

Wolfstar doesn’t HAVE to fall into gender norms, that’s not necessary, neither of them HAVE to be the “man” or “woman”, that’s NOT necessary.

Remus being a funky looking guy, while Sirius is a hot nepo baby, is so beautiful, and it makes their relationship so much more interesting than “man aggressive and hot” and “woman ugly but pretty and pathetic”.

Anyways, let Remus be a skrunkly little man, and let Sirius be hot, also STOP ASSIGNING GENDER ROLES TO THEM OH MY GOOOOOD DHFBFJDJCJ

What is gender but scar tissue arranged in the shape of a self?

"Among the major advantages I’ve discovered so far: plentiful pockets, simpler dressing decisions, and easier temperature control. But the biggest revelation for me was the huge difference in my physical and emotional comfort. I’m a forthright, intellectual woman who’s never had a problem with confidence. But I’ve spent 20 years wearing clothes designed to make me feel ill at ease—in both my body and mind."

One of the many things I love about YOI is how it ignores gender norms. Like Viktor wearing androgynous costumes as a junior because it matched his looks? Lovely. Yuuri learning how to dance like a woman as he explores Eros? Great! Let this boy do whatever he needs to find his unique Eros expression. Mila practising lifts on Yurio? Please give me more.

None of these form a pattern that indicates anything about these characters' gender or, more generally their queerness (spoiler: these could apply to a number of labels or to none; gender is a societal construct and the reasons to not want to conform to it are various), the show is that vague and it seems a deliberate choice. Viktor eventually changed his style and image. Yuuri finds his unique, masculine expression of Eros in episode 6 when he seduces Viktor with his own charms (as conveyed through the use of the masculine pronoun "boku"). These characters live in a world where gender norms don't matter and where everyone can express themselves and explore certain aspects of their personality without anyone telling them that it's not "appropriate" for their gender.

And you can spin this further in your personal headcanon. If Viktor wants to wear a women's yukata because he loves the flower print, he can do that. If Yuuri wants to do ballet in pointé shoes because it challenges his sense of balance, no one can stop him. (In my fics, Viktor wears such shoes for that purpose and because he loves the laces.) If Chris wants to wear an evening gown and high heels because he loves how it emphasises his thighs and his bum, he can just go for it. If Yurio wants to wear a mini-skirt to ripped jeans, no one will bully him for it. If Mila wants to skate in black skates because it matches the colour of her costumes better than white skates, no one would care (same goes for white skates for any of the male characters). If Phichit wants to wear make-up, no one would give him strange looks.

The beauty of Yuri on Ice is that the characters are free to do these things without having to fear judgement or repercussions. They are free to choose how they want to express themselves, be it for image reasons, because of a character they portray in their figure skating routines, because it ties into a certain aspect of their queerness, or because they just prefer this over a traditional expression. In the world of YOI, it just doesn't matter. I would love to live in that world.

Edit: I wrote a meta analysis about Yuuri's exploration of Eros throughout the show that discusses things like the pronouns etc. in more detail here.

(You might notice that I don't count hair length as gender norm because for many people it's a stylistic choice. I'm thinking of all the metalheads and women with pixie haircuts, which have been normalised in most societies I know of.)

Allan the gender nonconformity Barbie

As an aroallo woman, I feel a sort of kinship with alloace men. We're both going against gender norms just by existing.

I'm breaking the expectation that women are more interested in romance than sex.

They're breaking the expectation that men are more interested in sex than romance.

They're experiences that are both opposite and parallel, that leave me with both a perfect understanding and no understanding at all of what the other is like. So, hats off to you, alloace men. As someone who is in many ways your opposite, I see you.

What’s your view on toxic female friendships. I think it’s such a shame betrayal seems to be more common theme in female friendships. Men seem to have life long friends without any drama at all. Of course there are women out there with good life long friends but sadly it’s rare especially in this era we live in

xx

I think the underlying themes here are patriarchy and internalized misogyny. It can appear in blatant forms like women who sabotage each other for male attention, body/appearance/slut shame other women, or overly criticize other women's behavior and choices.

But I also believe there's a more covert patriarchal dynamic to women-women friendships vs. men-men friendships that's only recently become a prominent conversation in the public sphere/social media. As women, we're taught that it's our responsibility and culturally conditioned to perform all the emotional labor for the people in our lives – mainly men, but also other women. Men are taught and socialized with the opposite mentality.

So, I believe the dilemma comes down to this:

Female friendships exist as an outlet to unload our emotional stressors from all the men and women in our lives, so along with strict standards to be the "perfect" woman, it is easy for women to get on each other's nerves/bad side when we're all constantly emotionally exhausted and unloading onto each other. We overemphasize the emotional labor we should expect out of each other because we are conditioned to do this for the men in our lives. But, because other women aren't men, we start to resent/project onto them this anger. It's a very insidious type of internalized misogyny that I think a lot of women aren't aware of and therefore do not confront.

Then, there's the other side of the coin, where men don't really have these expectations of other men. Their friendship is based more on camaraderie through mutual interests, upbringing, lifestyles, or shared experiences (like working together, attending the same university, etc.). They don't uphold this expectation of performing emotional labor for themselves or each other. That role is reversed or the women in their lives.

Of course, I believe most men are so socially conditioned by patriarchy that they don't even realize this underlying dynamic and there are plenty of exceptions of emotionally intelligent men who desire to/actively unpack this to create more emotionally nourishing and equitable relationships in their lives, but I'm speaking in generalities for comprehension's sake.

Hope this resonates with some of you and answers your question. Bisous xx

March 30, 1956 — see The Complete Peanuts 1955-1958

Romance novel female lead: [taller than most men]

Me, with delighted anticipation: Oh? Yes??

Romance novel male lead: [somehow a full six inches taller than the female lead and accompanied by constant descriptions of how strong and masculine he is]

Me, with familiar disappointment: Oh. Yes.

(Listen, I'm writing books about sexy short kings as fast as my little fingers can go, but sometimes a bitch doesn't want to have to do everything herself.)

it doesn't matter how much testosterone i take, how masculine or feminine i present, whether i have a flat chest or not, i'm still going to get stared at like i'm a walking freak show. and i have no issue with that! its just so baffling to have so many transmeds tell me that i "dont pass" even though passing is subjective, and being told that i'm "not trying" in regards to my transition or that i'm "faking" being trans. i literally meet their criteria of having gender dysphoria and medically transitioning, but i'm still someone they hate or someone they view as "not trying." its just very weird. im mostly feminine. i have a mullet, i shop at forever 21 and hot topic and 99% of my clothing is feminine. but even when i'm out in public dressed in an androgynous/masculine way, in a t shirt and sweatpants I STILL get stares. i also literally have facial hair. no matter how i present and no matter what medical steps i take to transition im still going to be stared and looked at. trans medicalism is stupid and has not helped anyone. all it does is reinforce gender stereotypes and punish trans people who may not want to or cant get anything done medically.

YOU DO NOT NEED GENDER DYSPHORIA TO BE TRANS

YOU DO NOT NEED TO MEDICALLY TRANSITION TO BE VALID

YOU DONT NEED TO "PASS" TO BE VALID

Gender Norm? Never met him. Sounds like a real hardass, though.