#fuck am I to trans to understand why most people don’t have pride in their name?
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I really don’t get people who use AI to write things for them and then drop them in their work cause like, call me old school if you must, but I like knowing that every word I put down on a page is my own and represents a clear intention on my part - and if anyone wants to question/challenge that, I can come back with a reasonable articulation of why I did it that way
I get that busy work doesn’t always get this standard (even from me), but I can’t imagine just handing over all that agency and autonomy of self-expression over to some mindless bot that may or may not spew out garbage that could tank the readers trust in you - even if you remember to edit out the “this is an AI language model” that I see in so many papers and articles nowadays
Where’s the pride in your work? Where’s the feeling of accomplishment or improvement? Where’s the rich process of refining what you write down into a final product that you feel confident enough to attach your name to? Where’s the glancing at your final work and saying “I know this isn’t perfect, but I put effort into this and I’m not embarrassed to have anyone else read it”? Where???
And this is all ignoring the fact that ai is trained on masses of work that artists and writers neither consented to nor were compensated for their inclusion in the process, and that by using these models, you’re helping the tech bros who stole these artists’ and writers’ work to get rich
#I’m not the first person to get mad at this#but boy does it annoy me#like take pride in yourself and your name#fuck am I to trans to understand why most people don’t have pride in their name?#like#I had to fight tooth and nail to get my name socially and legally#and I lost a lot of people to do that#and I’m so happy I did#and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna waste that effort#by attaching my name to a bunch of stolen#and recycled garbage#Vera posts#ai writing
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Thank you for that post about To. and I am so sorry about everything. This was so well put together and not throwing around straight insults in each sentence. I see both sides throwing around hate without even explaining their sides of why they're sticking up for him or why they're mad. I was also one of the people giving him a chance to come back and apologize, people say stuff in the moment all the time and I felt like he deserved that chance. But, then he just left.
At first I thought his post was okay, I understand not getting neopronouns, not liking the idea of people showing too much at pride parades, or people under 18 getting surgery. Those are things I could understand but when the n*zi and racism down play happened? I was in shock and upset. Still, I wanted to at least give him a chance to comeback fresh and see if he would apologize... but he left.
If I'm being honest. Both sides weren't handled at all properly and you guys who explain it make it so much better to understand then others just writing it off as hate, telling people to kys, or getting called cis and not trans, which I am, as an insult. Everyone is still upset so I'm letting it go but I will stand by what I said and if that gets me hated just for giving him a chance or not supporting either side than that's okay. Thank you again for your amazing post and I hope you have a wonderful day.
TW: I’ll be detailing some of my experiences subtly and trying not to go into full detail.
Hi there. I don’t know who you are, but thank you for reaching out.
There’s a lot I want to say on Tom’s views, but many people have done that for me with their own time and energy and I appreciate them. I’m going to use this space to come out and say that I use neopronouns now in light of the situation. You’re allowed to use he/him, they, them, and fae/faer/faers when talking about me. I’ve been wanting to use these pronouns since first learning about them back in…idk…2014(?), but….I’m Black and of indigenous heritage, it’s hard enough being nonbinary on top of everything.
I highly suggest taking courses in gender and sociology, it was one of the most informative and open spaces for discussing gender, gender expressions, and touches on intersectionality within the Black community and being Queer during my college years as someone who was told that if I entered those spaces that I’d be molested…despite that happening more in the spaces I shared with cis/straight people .
I will echo what a lot of people have said and what I know from my own personal research as a trans person in an unsupportive family and as someone whose partner’s adopted little brother is going through: Children don’t go through gender affirming surgeries. In some cases, a 16 year old can with expressed consent from a therapist, their parents, and themselves. And honestly? It’s no one’s business. Out side of that, most children are placed on hormone blockers until they’re over 18 and able to take the right hormone replacements to experience puberty properly and develop what they need to before surgeries are viable.
On the topic of pride, in my experience in both small communities and going to San Francisco pride, there are safe spaces for children. Parades usually have an itinerary that parents can look at and guide their children appropriately. I am 100% on the side that human bodies aren’t inherently sexual as a demisexual person. It’s on the parents to PARENT their children appropriately, not complete strangers just trying to exist and feel good about themselves for ONCE instead of being afraid of hatred, death….so much…it’s so fucking much…
That being said….yes, I wanted to give him space. I really wanted to give him a chance to do better, but he’s going to have to do a lot more now before I forgive him or accept an apology and actually move on and want to engage with his content again. I just want people to really sit and conceptualize the situation and just how much people are hurting. And if I have to be that voice, then I will be. Please bare with me. 🙏🏽
Again….no harassment towards anyone. You’re allowed to realize your mistakes and apologize, but there’s work you need to do to make it stick.
Edit: Also, people are allowed to be upset, but there’s a line when you send death threats. I AM, however, in the sentiment that the only good N*zi is a dead one. Half of my family didn’t flee to America for no reason- if they weren’t already fighting against them. Those are harsh words, but it’s my truth seeing the PAIN it’s caused my family first hand. I wouldn’t ever wish that on anyone, but you are NOT in good standing with me if you support any form of N*zism.
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supernatural sees women as a tool for development and strengthening of narratives/motivation and dean sees his body as a tool. is that anything?
When I saw this ask I really made the 🥴in real life. So, yeah anon, I do think there’s something to this.
Quick Disclaimer before I actually launch into my thoughts™: A lot of my read of Dean stems from my experience as both an oldest daughter and a transman. Being the oldest daughter was an experience I lived for many years, but I am also a man. I wasn’t raised as a man, I wasn’t socialized as a man, and even though once I came out upon reflection my masculinity was obviously there. Like I was a man™ before I knew I was a man. Even when I actively tied my identity to femininity for a long time! A lot of my prideful moments were based around statements like: “I was the only girl who (fill in the blank).”
So I am just putting that out there before I launch into my spiel about Dean/Gender/Tool because they all interlock for me.
I am also going to apologize in advance because I know this has fully gone off the rails and I’m not even done writing it yet. If this is incomprehensible ! Well, happens to the best of us.
First off, most importantly I guess before we discuss womanhood and Dean and the way both are utilized on the show I need to say that I personally don’t subscribe the whole Dean is female coded thing.
It’s a read I can absolutely understand. But for me..he’s not.
He’s a hypermasculine man to the point that when (and because he is written as a punchline, as the stupid™ brother, as the whore™, as the mother/father™, as daddy’s blunt instrument™, etc) Dean deviates from the pre-accepted definition of hypermasculine it’s Wrong.
It’s Instantly Feminine.
I think the internet has made the world very black and white, or blue and pink maybe. This point, I think, colors a lot of these discussions. Dean cooks, he cleans and so therefor he’s female coded. When that really just feeds back into the whole toxic masculinity loop. You can’t be masculine and cook and clean and cry. That’s for feminine people only.
I get the argument! I do, I just think that Dean’s actions are not inherently feminine, it’s just in the vacuum of Female and in the Absence of Traditional Masculinity it makes sense to assign him female coded and move on.
IN FACT the way that Dean is the action hero of the show, the Masculine™ one on the show - but he cries, and he rages, and he cooks (Again and Again) and cleans (Again and Again). The fact he’s macho and confident but he has so little self esteem. Is frankly insane to me. You have this blaze of glory character who is so depressed that they have him kill himself. Twice. In explicitly “I hate myself, I hate hearing all the things I hate about myself, I want to destroy myself” ways.
On just a regular ol’ network show that is just ungodly bad at times. They let their Male Hero cry - all the time (if I linked every example of this the essay would be...longer than it already is, but just take my word for it). Dean tears up and grieves and shows more than just Angry Horny Violent™ (he shows plenty of that, don’t get me wrong) but he’s Emotional (Again and Again and Again). In many different ways!
I mean, beyond even just tearing up, they make their Male Hero™ face sexual violence in pretty, uniquely horrifying - and queer! - ways.
Let’s make it clear, they did a lot of this unintentionally.
Or they do it as a joke.
Off of dean for a moment to say women are plot devices in this show. I could probably count on one hand female characters who have sincere depth to them that have roles outside of progressing plot, filling a filler episode, and who are still alive. Like even characters such as Charlie who are wholly developed, and interesting, are only remembered/mentioned/utilized to progress plots or fill an episode out - and then she dies. For pain™ for plot™ for no other reason than to traumatize a character.
Which let’s also make it clear Dean’s trauma is also only used as a plot device (as is Sam’s but in a different way, and Cas’ trauma is a whole other barrel of fish we’re not gonna dive into right now). Like wholesale full stop they don’t actually care about what happened to him. Unless it’s relevant in an episode.
Oh that boys home he was left at when he was 16 for months? Sure we’ll sprinkle that in in the back half of the series. Oh he was covered in bruises and said it was from a hunt (when it’s clear contextually they were from his father but saying the fantastical but true is easier than saying the uncomfortable but true). As Dean says though the story became the story, he was sixteen. He just went along with what John said.
We only see Dean ever truly rage at John, by the way, when either Dean is dead (when he’s between life and death and he rages at John, right before John “apologizes” for traumatizing him, for putting too much on Dean’s shoulders, and fucking dying) or John is dead (the Djinn episode where Dean is straight™ and John is dead™ and he goes to his grave and just yells and rages like he should have to his father in the real world).
Dean’s trauma from being both tortured and torturer in hell? Yeah, we don’t talk about that after it’s Relevant™. Even though it’s clear - especially in the demon!dean, mark of cain era, all those years later - Alastair still has his hooks inside of Dean. I stopped watching originally after s8 ended. I was fed up with the show, and with this whole renaissance I’ve been doing a rewatch and I’m into season twelve now and it really has never come up again.
Even when he had the mark of cain and he was tasked with questioning and accused of torturing it was “the mark has changed you” and not “you were victim and victimizer in hell for forty years, which is longer than you’ve been alive on earth” (and, was about as long as he wound up living. Which is desperately sad.
Because we talk about Sam’s desire for a “normal” life but, Dean wanted out too. He was tired in the first few seasons of this show, he never had a chance to taste freedom (we don’t count the boys home, because that was a different kind of regimented life, and it was a false freedom) the way that Sam did in Flagstaff with Bones or at Stanford with Jessica. Love for Dean is sacrificing, it’s putting himself/his happiness/his well-being last.
Because Dean only knows love in the context of violence (like all of these fun examples, for starters) is a phrase that I’ve said a lot both in private chats and on here, and I absolutely think it goes to him being a tool (a blunt instrument, a plot device, so both textually and metatextually) instead of a person. Which Cas sees Dean’s shame/guilt and sees that side of Dean because he touched his soul, and saw more than just the Righteous™ man, more than just the tool, he saw A good man, not a machine.
On the other side though you have how “bad guys” view Dean: Desperate, Sloppy, Needy, Dean’s hole (Again), which is again so wildly counterintuitive to the story of a Macho Man Hero™. You’re using vocabulary that is both queering him and feminizing (and I know this a meme format, but sincerely it is done in a derogatory way it is feminizing. It’s breaking him down to bare parts, to a sloppy hole).
My whole rewatch I have been absolutely fascinated by how identity and free will is utilized/conceptualized on this show. Castiel has been my main focus, but Dean and how he is framed by himself and others is...fascinating - and frustrating. The writers inconsistency lends itself not only to this unintentionally queer character, but also one that again is incredibly easily read as a non-traditionally masculine character.
As a feminine character.
This show has so few female characters that of course it had to foist the roles/behaviors/plots that a female character might have onto a male character. Which I think is part of why reading Dean as trans (either transmasc, or transfemme) is so easily done like.
Half of these are shit posts, but you can find trans allegories/textual evidence in this show again, again, again, again, and again. And this is unintentional, they don’t want you to look at Dean and see woman, former future or present. Like a lot of these I’m sure are punchlines for them, because women/queer folk are punchlines to them.
Sometimes the only women in an episode are random witnesses who get two sentences of dialogue, and then the main guest character is a man. Who flirts with Dean, and Dean is receptive to it.
They paint themselves into a corner, there are female Rabbi. So easily could Aaron have been a woman instead of a man, but they made the choice to play up the HaHa Dean & Men card.
Because, again, Dean has filled the slot of Woman™ of Female Lead™ and the flirting would’ve been straight if Dean was a woman. It’s a plot device, they needed to have the guest character be disarming, be cute, make the main character flustered.
It’s just the main character is a man, because they’re allergic to women. But they still need those female plots, tools of femininity, to move their show forward. I mean I am a big subscriber to transmasc Jo (no idea if anyone else is with me on this one, but let me explain). Jo is in love with Dean (concept) not Dean (actuality). Which, we’ve all had our eggs cracked by someone like that. We were in love with them until we realized we just wanted to be them.
He loved her like a little sister, she loved him like a lost idol. He’s a golden calf and she dies for him, because she believed in him, she was the original character dashed at the altar of the Winchesters.
I fully believe if she had lived and if this show had a crumb of actual good writing Jo could have been a deeply compelling transmasc character. But I also think she’s a fascinating inversion of Dean. Dean is a Masculine Character who subverts Toxic Masculinity, Jo is a Tomboy™ she’s not your (if you take it straight, literally and metaphorically) average female love interest. She’s angry, she’s not soft at all, all edges and corners and thorns. She isn’t helpless, she’s stubborn but not in a “you’re going to get punished for this” way. She’s right when she’s stubborn. She’s helpful, she’s a martyr.
I could do a whole other essay just on Jo (and Ellen, and Ash, what a fucking trio!) but needless to say Jo was one of the first...plot device feminine tools sacrificed to this show. She was a regular, she was unique, she was an engaging character, and she still died (to progress the plot? no. for man pain? yeah, for like three episodes maybe, and then it’s forgotten just like the rest of Dean’s trauma, as we mentioned above).
Dean and Women and Love is a very interesting tool used too because. Boy they sure try to make Dean love women and it fails in small ways, and in big, meaningless, failed het domesticity (again) ways. Not to mention whatever Lust (in the form of a woman) having no effect upon him, when they could have used that moment to assert his Masculinity and Heterosexuality. He behaved normally? And...also...whatever the fuck the Adios thing was!
Like they have these opportunities to make him Traditionally (toxically) Masculine, but make the choice to...not? To soften him. Because it’s a tool. He’s their female lead, textually he had to take on the role of mother(/father) to Sam, but...I mean this is a million miles long already. I know, but we absolutely can’t not talk about his Paternal/Maternal behaviors. (Which appear again and again again and again, outside of his relationship with Sam even/especially). He’s the mother hen, sage, safety net, beacon, home to so many side characters they meet.
I mean in many ways Jody is also a Dean comparison. Lost her family. Found a new family. She is non-traditionally feminine, but easily flustered and Silly™ (let’s just drop the entire sex talk over family dinner scene with Alex and the boys and looking to them for help, even though she was already a mother, and she’s a cop, and a hunter and this confident no nonsense individual.... She’s not). We are meant to see her as this hard ass, but she makes extra food for the boys to take back to the bunker. She’s deadly in a fight, but also still easily overwhelmed and put into damsel mode, and she cares so much even in the face of adversity.
It’s also fun to see how Jo | Jody are reflections of Dean at different points of his life. Younger, cocky | Older, settled.
Even when the text tries to tell us that he’s not.
When it reminds us that he’s violent. That he is his father, even if he says that Sam is more like John (which was reflexive, which was angry because of Adam and how Sam was behaving like Dean in that episode, and yes there are parallels to be drawn between Sam and John, the show barely dives into them). Instead we’re told that Dean is John (Again and Again and Again and Again).
So intensely that a fanfictionalized version of the Winchester Gospels makes it an entire fucking musical number.
And yet, despite the texts insistence to make Dean Macho Man Father Reborn™ We get this Dean who is silly (and directly compared/contrasted to the female character in this scene), soft, in heels, nagging, and... Sully (you know Sam’s imaginary friend who has the same Haircut Dean has, who is a softer, shorter, friendlier, campier, version of Dean who was a replacement For Dean until the real one let Sam back in? That? Sully?) it’s hard to take them seriously.
Hell, even when he was A DEMON? What did they do? They had him sing off-key drunken karaoke, they had him doing this ! Like that’s your hero, unhinged, free to be as bad as he could be, and you put him in a cowboy hat in a romance with the king of hell.
The Female Lead, everyone. Who’s biggest betrayal(s) comes at the hands of his love interest (again, a man even though it was an angel who could’ve taken any vessel! who could’ve been recast, who canonically dies admitting his love to Dean - that one), who he tries so hard to be loyal to.
The contradictions of his character are laughable. He is so emotional, but if he is engaged about his emotions? He shuts down, or he’s exasperated about being asked about them. It really is Female Lead/Only Here For The Plot disease, because everything is more important than him. How’s he doing? Doesn’t matter outside of the context of how x character is doing or that y character is dead. Or his emotions only matter if they’re done in penance.
They also really do frame him as Pretty Boy™ in a violent way, or in a derogatory manner. They’ll give us homoerotic shots like this or these and never really acknowledge how these are gay shots. Sorry the gun scene is a a straight up sex scene, the beer sip spilling out over his mouth is oral, the scene where Cas fills up Dean’s glass with whisky is also a sex scene, they do this shit on purpose but accidentally queer it up. If Dean was a woman these scenes wouldn’t even matter. They’d be passing moments, but because he is not just a man but A Man™ they’re insane to see.
Not to mention all of these scenes and all the ones I haven’t linked where Dean dresses up. He performs masculinity, but he performs femininity too. He’s a plot device that is slotted in to whatever role they need. He’s Super Straight Butch Man™ but coaches the lesbian on how to successfully flirt with a man. He’s Action Hero™ who sits through a montage with the same lesbian and yays and nays her outfits, and enjoys himself.
Fuck he loves dressing up, he feels better in these costumes because performing a character is easier than being himself. Because who is Dean? He’s a tool, both textually and metatextually. It is exactly how the women and because of the women on the show that Dean is the way that he is. If there was a more steady female presence Dean would not be half as much of a plot device or half as camp/gay/feminine/non-traditionally masculine/queer coded as he is.
In conclusion....
#dean winchester#supernatural#spn meta#spn#gender#anon#replies#messages#my writing#ANYWAYS PHEW okay anon i don't know if i even fully got to your point but i woke up at like 3:30 to this ask and i've been fixated on it#HOPE THIS IS EVEN JUST a little bit coherent#the way i meant for this to talk so much more about transness and eldest daughter syndrome and just FORGOT#oops#oh well
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GUESS WHAT?
I'M TRANS, BABY!
if anybody is interested in me waffling on about it, you can read more below the cut :)
otherwise, i'm still cassidy, still any pronoun you like bc i just really don't care and WISHING EVERYBODY A VERY HAPPY PRIDE! 🌈🌈 🌈
so, i've known forever that i'm a boy/man but have always vehemently stuck my fingers in my ears/head in the sand, as i think a lot of trans folx do—especially those of a certain age. i'm 40 and was born in the 80s, grew up in the 90s, and things really were very different back then.
i've also always known i was queer. my first kiss was with a girl—as were the next few— and i thought (even though i'd always felt i was a boy, like my brothers) that seeing as i was in appearance "a girl", that meant i must be a lesbian. then i realised i liked boys, too. so... bisexual? then i met a (closeted) trans person and fell for them. so... i started identifying as pansexual, which felt right for me.
then, at 17, i was in a relationship with a straight guy and fell pregnant...
at this stage, i started hiding all my queer tenancies, believing that i had to be a woman to be a mother. i didn't really have queer friends (i'd met the trans person through work) and wasn't on the queer scene, so was pretty naive about things.
so i threw myself into being the girlyest girl: through make-up, fashion, studying girls behaviour/mannerisms etc and copying them (which i'd always done to some extent).
this lasted through two more relationships, the latter of which gave me another child. only after this relationship broke down (6 years ago) did i let myself to begin figuring out who i was. i didn't have to pretend for anybody else's sake anymore, which had been SO exhausting (i totally think it contributed to the breakdown i had at the end of that last relationship. pretending to be somebody else [even when you're alone!] for literally years upon years, is the most draining thing e v e r).
slowly, i allowed myself to just be me. i came out 2 years ago as nonbinary on here and to my friends and some of my close family, to mostly kind and understanding reactions—which i know, sadly, certainly isn't every queer person's experience. i know just how incredibly lucky i am for that.
and, really, it's just grown from there. more thoughts and memories of the way i was/felt as a very young child have been returning, things i'd pushed down and just not allowed myself to feel or think about for all these years.
i started reading articles and watching YouTube videos of trans people's stories, people's instagram pics of their transitions... and finally allowed myself to remember who i am.
i'm cassidy and i'm a trans man :))
i've only come out to 2 my wonderful friends here on dumblr™, which was actually a while ago (you guys know who you are and how much ily) and two people in meatspace, very recently: another dear friend, and my mum; both of which were just fucking awesome and both their burning questions were "ooh, what are you going to change your name to?" lol.
thing is, i don't even know if i'll ever come out fully or transition, let alone change my name. it's so early tree me to know anything rn other than I'M TRANS. one thing i keep coming back to when i think about transitioning etc is "how can i rob my kids of a mother?". the idea of living as a man is SO incredibly new to me, that i don't really have any answers yet.
but i also know i don't need to have answers yet—i'm still busy asking myself all the questions!
the one thing i do know though, is how incredible all of you here are. and that's why i wanted to share this with you guys. you are the bestest of friends and closest of confidantes and the most friendly and accommodating bunch of absolutely wonderful misfits anybody could wish for.
so, if you've read this far *standing ovation*
and HAPPY FUCKING PRIDE!!! 🌈 ily all! ❤️
#coming out#trans#transexual#trans masc#trans stuff#queer#queer stuff#queer community#trans community#trans flag emoji#lol#happy pride 🌈#pride#pride 2021#💗💙🤍
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Yandere BNHA Boys pt 2
Okay, this is a continuation of the first yandere ones I did because I wrote that in basically a night and was too tired to do more, I'm probably gonna post some after for the pro heroes and villains if I have time, I might finish those on the weekend then post it.
This is just a bunch of headcanons I have about the boys in BNHA and what they’d be like as yanderes. Only the really fluffy or good things about them listed here. Neither of these works are a good depictions of a real yandere and make sure to be careful to identify yandere traits in real people around you. It’s a very dangerous world and stay safe!
sorry if you were waiting for me to come out with these and I literally took forever lol, link to the first one is here. It's basically just me comforting myself with the sweet things that I think they would do as yanderes.
Warnings: Brainwashing, blood, gore, death, trans headcanons, body dysmorphia, nonbinary they/he Sero, they/them pronouns + nonbinary headcanons for Tokoyami, he/they nonbinary headcanons with Shinsou, a little NSFW because if I don't specify then they are aged up (around 20-25 is where I imagine the timeline that they actually captured you and have a hero carrier going for them already), manipulation, regular yandere things, kinda just turns into dumbass horknee headcanons at some point after Shinsou (sorry lmfao), objectification
Sero Hanata
so basically the first time they saw you they immediately wanted to come up to you
they love to give you back hugs because once you stop trying to fight them he's gonna be so honored you finally trust him
Big time slut [non-derogetory] for you
Likes to have an apartment that's high up, probably a secured penthouse with lots of windows
If you're afraid of heights they will get a ground bed for you two, they would also vibe with a low hanging hammock if you allow it
they really really like just putting you on a custom made leash, not inherently in a sexual way just in general likes to have it look like that with their tape on you at all times
they really really like it when you come to them for hugs and comfort
If you're a trans reader, if you want a binder he will get you one as soon as you ask, cried when you told him about it.
they cried way more than you though...
Was very accepting as an nb person as well
they custom made you a tape binder of his
Kinda as a joke but high key felt like they were gonna combust at the thought of you wearing that for them
Takes you to pride but you cannot speak
only takes you to pride after they are 1000% sure that you're not gonna speak to anyone but them
Takes you to it as a part of their float because they'd been invited onto the Hero Float
You are in a costume that's exactly like his, helmet and everything, you aren't allowed to be looked at
After that though, it's gonna be your choice to go or not to go
they trust you a little more after you run away from some assholes though and after that sometimes lets you take your helmet off during pride, you have to give them a lot of kisses though
When/if you ever consider any type of surgery he is 110% on board
they demand that you have to have it performed by someone who has done this a million times before, trusts no one else
If there's a way for you to go through it without the surgery they're excited but he's more excited if there is surgery because they love the idea of you being so cuddly and clinging to them for their comfort
Tokoyami Fumikage
haha they're in love with you
like, intensely in love with you the moment they first meet you
Dark shadow thinks you're adorable but says nothing more about their obsession with you
when you met them before UA they absolutely cannot handle being around you in a 10-foot radius
Eventually, though they do try and become a friend of yours
After that, it's a hop on the manipulation train, my dude
they basically make you see them as your savior from a mean uncaring world
they love talking to you about things that make you happy and loving you in little ways
hugs, hand holding, a lot of time it's just a little peck (haha) on the cheek
they love living with you though, like really love it
they like baking and making dinner for you
but especially baking
like really, baking
the manipulation they use makes it seem like everything is okay when you only talk to them so that's what you do and to you, it seems so much better than anything you could do
they haven't come out to you by the time you come out to them so your trans journey really helps them figure things like that out as well
The first time you explain that gender is a made-up construct they're like "yeah......isn't that how everyone feels? Like, not a gender????" we love this for them
you both kind of heal each other through this process
they like seeing you when you're most comfortable so they get you as many binders as you need
also gets you a custom binder like Sero but with feather designs, not like stupid printable patterns but something that is soft and the softness isn't feathers it's regular fluffy cloth
idk I'm not a designer that's why I gave up and became a writer lmao
they also get you a compression corset because they're emo
if there is surgery it takes a lot of time to convince them
they don't ever want you to regret anything they helped you with so it takes a lot of long-winded conversations about it
there was a lot of nervousness on their part because (this is just my headcanon) they were almost convinced to get surgery to construct their face to look human-like
they had a lot of their family tell them that, because of the way they looked, they had less of a chance to become a hero, they were immensely traumatized by this and thus wants to make absolutely sure you were okay with this
but when they finally find themself comforted by you about it it happens quickly and in the safest way you could possibly imagine
Shinso Hitoshi
Shinsou didn't want to approach you at all, he was so scared you'd run away or tell him he's a villain
they always thought that they weren't good enough for you
he loved you but you needed to say hi first
and you did
so he whisked you away
they like to just brainwash you into tasting certain types of food when you're craving them instead of just getting you food
he likes to talk to you in a voice like he would talk to a kitten, not like husky or anything sexy, but something cute and adorable
especially when you're brainwashed and can't say anything to him
He likes to give you lots of soft stuff like I'm talking pillows upon pillows and squishmallows
once he gets his own house they get it in a place that's more comforting in the dark than in the light
they really like the dark and outdoorsy vibe anyway so if they choose a place somewhere in the forest to keep you what's the added bonus if no one can hear you scream?
a little bit of spice; he has this whole a/b/o fantasy (idk it's his vibes that he'd read that fanfic and stuff lmao) and kinda treats you like you were an omega
sometimes if you guys do have sex they'll brainwash you to act like an omega or once he's more experienced with bodily manipulation involving their quirk they'll make you do all of the......omega things
when you come out to them, if you're trans, they're definitely gonna not care
like if you need comfort and stuff about it they will not make a big deal about it
he legit is like "okay .....can I still fuck you or?????"
HE JUST GIVES OFF REALLY HORKNEE VIBES OKAY?????
definitely brainwashes you into not feeling dysphoric anymore though
like loves it when you come up all sad to him and uncomfy just to ask them to brainwash you
he melts over you cuddling them after those times though
if you want surgery they're gonna make sure that it's between him and the doctors that y'all are there
like no one knows you're there, completely off radius, in and out like nothing (he's basically a cryptid in the woods by the time you guys have the surgery, so they wanna make sure no one questions it)
Monoma Neito
bold of you to assume that man can express literally anything when he wants to just sit you on his lap and look at your pretty face
love at first sight taken literally but not in a shallow way
he loves just having you around him
kinda treats you as an accessory at times, talks like you're a purse or something and people don't really comment but it's really freaking them out sometimes when you don't speak up on it
likes to say he's the only one to understand you cause he's afraid you'd leave him
a hardcore fan of collars though
definitely has lots of jewelry that represents him even though you don't go out he still loves the idea of it
big time cook
loves providing for you, never lets you do a damn thing other than watching pre-approved cartoons and hobbies
absolute fucking disaster about hugging you
always has to be touching you
he thinks you're so fucking gorgeous and body worships you even out of the bedroom
if you're trans he will definitely be weird about it at first
he's just diet transphobic
he's not denying it but sometimes he's like "Are you sure???" and stuff
he clears this up with the help of you being pissed enough to not eat or talk to him until he apologizes
he then educates himself on it and comes to the conclusion that he was in fact being an asshole
talks to you about binders and stuff like that
doesn't really believe in surgery, he would never allow you to do that just because it would be too painful for him to see you go through
he instead literally searches the whole fucking globe for a person with a body-altering quirk to make sure you don't get hurt
he seeks out homophobes, transphobes, and other dumbasses on the regular just to kill them like literally it just started out for your approval but now it's just for fun
Anyway, the villain one (if I do it) will probably become just horknee brain rot cause I am a slut. Request some stuff and I'll try to put up some works if y'all want ig.
#yandere bnha#yandere#bnha#bnha fanfiction#BNha x gnreader#gn reader#nb tokoyami hc#nb sero hc#nb shinsou hc#sero hanata#hanata sero#Sero#tokoyami fumigake#fumikage tokoyami#tokoyami x reader#tokoyami#shinsou hitoshi#hitoshi shinsou#shinsou#shinsou x reader#sero x reader#monoma neito#neito monoma#monoma#monoma x reader#bnha trans reader#x trans reader
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Fatgum As a Dad
This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.
There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.
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It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it.
“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”
“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”
“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”
“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”
“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”
“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”
But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.
Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong.
He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.
“Um.. are you Fatgum?”
“Yes I am!”
“Can I have a hug?”
“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.
“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!”
“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”
He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’
“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.
Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess.
The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay.
No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.
One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do.
Ask for a make-up job.
It didn’t end all that well...
“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”
“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.”
“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”
“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”
“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”
“....Nope.”
Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option.
Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.
This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.
Kid: chewing on their nails.
Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-
Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.
Fatgum: just doing his job
The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying
Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.
Kid: um, dad can I talk to you?
Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes?
Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry!
Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked
He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.
His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.
Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.
Fatgum: Busts down wall “OH YEAH!”
Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”
Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”
As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.
"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."
Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.
Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.
Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’
Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear
“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...”
INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC
Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.
Fatgum was Iroh.
Kirishima was Sokka.
Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.
Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.
Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.
Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.
So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.
Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.
YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!
Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.
FUCK YOU TOO
Bakugou...
Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.
Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”
All of his kids are embarrassed.
In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.
Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-
sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'
Translation: so his texts look like this
you learn to understand his texts
Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone
If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.
If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.
“What’s your average grade?”
“E-eighty percent sir!”
“And do you take sports?”
“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”
“I see, I see...”
“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”
“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”
Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-
#fatgum#taishiro toyomitsu#fatgum bnha#fatgum mha#mha fatgum#bnha fatgum#dadgum#fatgum as a dad#fatgum is a dad#daddy issues gang
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YEEHAW IT’S MIDNIGHT WHICH MEANS IT’S AUGUST 1ST WHICH MEANS INK DEMONTH SO I CAN FINALLY POST THIS NOW:
1. Pride
Diversity win! There is not a single cishet in the hivemind of ink creatures (To their knowledge) that you slaughter on a daily basis to make yourself beautiful! AKA: Possum has a fuck ton of LBGT+ headcanons regarding the BATIM cast and is happy to use this DeMonth prompt to indulge them. (Set before the loop starts, but after Buddy Boris meets/befriends the lost ones.)
Malice flicked through the channels of her cameras, trying to find more prey in her territory, and stopped when she saw a gathering of the lost and the searching (and exactly one Boris, the most perfect one she had ever seen.) in the Heavenly toy’s lobby, their prophet was brazenly sitting on the side of the waterfall as if he did not fear the ink when he should have.
Her ears steamed with anger as she saw that group, it was far too large for her to deal with on her own and too far away from the Projectionist’s grounds for her to manage to lure him to them. But on the bright side, she could learn some important information from them, after all, with how casually the prophet was sitting and gesturing and how the other freaks in the crowd were responding, this was clearly not one of his normal sermons.
(“I still find it rather funny that almost none of us are straight and that the few straight ones among us are trans, it’s like all this time we thought we were sheep hiding away in wolves’ clothing among wolves, unaware that the “wolves” were simply other sheep in hiding as well!”)
[Funnily enough, I’d rather be a sheep than a wolf, I think it makes more sense for me to be an animal that’s helpful to others but also easily scared.] The Boris wrote on a typewriter. [Or at least, I wish I had some kind of input on what I am, but I doubt I’d make myself an animal…]
(“Speaking of which...”) The lost one next to the wolf whispered in his ear as she looked over his typing. (“How are you holding up, Buddy?”)
Instead of typing, the wolf drew himself shrugging and put a bunch of question marks around him, then stuck the drawn-on paper in his typewriter and added to it.
[It’s hard to think most of the time, Boris always seems stronger when I’m alone, but I know the Ink demon will find us if I stay with you, this hunger is driving me crazy, and I just wanna go home. But on the bright side, I don’t have to deal with periods, chest pain from binding, or people condescendingly calling me ‘Miss Lewek’ anymore.]
She turned on the sound in that room, watching them like one would watch a Tv drama, but what she heard caught her off guard.
“So as long as we’re being honest about ourselves with each other…” The lost one stood up and pointed accusingly at Sammy. “Were you and Joey and a thing all along before the machine came into the picture!?”
If she was drinking water, she would’ve spat it right back out. Sammy, with Joey?! In the latter’s dreams, maybe! Even a few of the other lost ones looked shocked at the question, the Boris even gasped loud enough for it to be audible.
“Technically yes, but not by choice, mind you.”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!”
What the fuck indeed random lost one. The angel wished that she didn’t hear that, but now that she couldn’t unsee it, at least it made a little bit of sense in hindsight. After all, in her eyes, they were awful enough to deserve each other.
“...Why?”
“It’s just, well... somebody had to keep his eyes from wandering to the lambs- err- younger, more naive, less experienced employees, not children (to my knowledge). And at the time, I really thought that he did at least care about me beyond our work relationships, at least a little bit… But from what I’ve seen, I believe the only things he had ever truly loved were himself, and the idealized versions he had made of other people. His ‘dream versions’ of them, if you will.”
“And this whole time, I thought he was running off with Susie with all those lunch dates! Or where the three of you all… yaknow, *together* together?”
“Not knowingly… However I wouldn’t put it past Joey to cheat on people. As for Susie... I did like her, maybe even love her in a way, but I doubt I could ever love her in the way she wanted me to love her, and-or love her carnally. I don’t even think I could fake it like I could for Joey, she was never signing my checks and wasn’t holding that over my head so I’d be too disgusted to even try.”
Malice was almost about to march down there herself and push him into the ink, but she knew this troupe all too well, and knew that sometimes this place worked on story logic, he’s now going to say something that alters the context of that statement enough to not justify her going over there and slam dunking him into the ink.
“Now that I think of it, I don’t think that I’ve ever loved… anyone in that sense. I can’t think of a single person or situation where the idea of doing that is anything other than gross at best. In fact, there was someone who was close to me a long time ago, someone who, while I have long forgotten now, would perhaps even be what one could consider a soulmate. Even then, the mere thought of doing that with them still makes me queasy…” The prophet sighed. “I suppose I am simply meant to remain alone in religious celibacy. A relationship of that kind would interfere too much with my worship anyway.”
"Ahh fahr foehck's sake... I can't believe dat it's dis foehckin stupid..." A more lucid, absolute giant of a searcher in the back of the crowd slapped his forehead.
“It?” Malice repeated curiously. “Huh… maybe it and I had more in common than we thought.”
“You're clearly a sex-repoehlsed asexual, you doehmbass! literally everyahne who's ever been in de dark poehddles at de same time as you figured dis ooeht befahre you ded!” He shouted through cupped hands. “celibate people are people who WANT sex, boeht dahn't poehrsue it fahr variooehs reasahns, dey ARE NAHT people who are desgoehsted wit sex to de point where dey legitimately throw oehp and feel 'ahrreble after doin de nahrmal vanella stoehff! Stahp foehckin foehckin people when you're clearly naht cahmfortable wit it, and you and future partner..s? 'll be 'appier wit yooehr rahmantic poehrsuits!”
The searcher, upon realizing that he had furiously sworn at the Prophet, their leader, the one who does not fear anything within the studio, not even the deepest depths of the dark puddles, and most terrifyingly of all; the former music director, he slinked into a puddle within the crowd in fear of being the target of reawakened ancient wrath. Everybody else looked back and forth to the prophet and back at the searcher who spoke out as they remained in stunned silence, even their eavesdropper was worried for his fate, even if in her case she feared how the show would end rather than his outcome. Surprisingly, and luckily for him, the Prophet broke the tense silence by laughing in that caught-off-guard tone of it.
“While you were rather… crude about it, what you’ve said does make a lot more sense then Joey being so bad at sex that he turned me away from men altogether, even if it is funny to assume that he was.”
“A-aye… and I can't believe dat you wrahte an entire foehckin sahng abooeht it! 'ow ded you naht get fired fahr dat?!”
“Good question, I wish I could remember the answer…”
[Maybe you had blackmail on Drew?] The Boris typed out and handed to Sammy.
“Yeah, maybe because you used to be so close to him, you saw skeletons that Joey would want to keep in the closet” His lost-one friend added.
“Like HIMSELF!” A voice from the back added, making the others in the room burst into laughter.
With the tension in the room gone, the group just went back to talking about either journeys they took to become comfortable with themselves, or the various past relationships that they had, or wished they had or in some peoples’ cases, all three.
Malice continued to watch them bitterly. It was as if they had either forgotten what the outside world was like to people like them or they simply didn’t care, and she wasn’t thinking about the ink that made up their bodies. Part of her envied how freely they had talked about themselves and each other, part of her felt like she had been smacked across the face, and a third part of her felt lonely. All of them seemed so happy telling their stories and building each other up, and here she was hiding away with her own story that she had wished to bury.
However, there was no iron clad law stating that she couldn’t tell them her own story. In fact, maybe if she came out of her own cage, made Sammy understand that big part of why voicing Alice was so important to her, made sure that it understood that as the very first explicitly female character she voiced, that Alice Angel was more than a beloved character to her, that she was a part of her, the biggest symbol of her own femininity, then maybe it would recognize the error of its ways. Maybe it would see how devastating it would be to be shunted aside without notice in favor of someone newer, prettier, ‘more feminine’...
She shut off the camera and thought it over, and she made up her mind. While she still didn’t want to share her story with everyone, Sammy needed to know it. Whether the Prophet liked it or not, she was going to pay it a visit.
#Bendy and the Ink Machine#ink demonth#pride#fanfic#Malice Angel#dot batim#buddy boris#sammy lawrence#lost ones batim#searchers batim#shawn flynn
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The main things that turned me off of conversion for now were
1. I have alot of shit on my plate and am low income as a result so finding a place that will help might be hard because locally there really aren't any synagogues around
2. The synagogue I did find locally was uhhh...... Hhhhh. Their web page had a huge section about Israel in a positive light..
I love the religion, I love certain values it holds however I refuse to align with anyone who justifies colonialism and bloodshed against another group of people while ignoring past bloodshed done onto themselves. It makes 0 sense to me and is highly hypocritical.
Hypocrisy was one of the reasons I hated Christianity so much. Constantly causing bloodshed, huge present and past history of colonialism, huge present day history of wanting people like me who are gay or trans dead and in the ground.
the difference with Christianity is that there isn't even a present day persecution or justified worry of safety despite the fact that I've seen jack chick esque evangelical fuckers unironically act like they're holocaust survivors whenever a pride parade happens within 1 mile of them.
It makes me sad, I don't see the point in colonizing or maiming a group of people who should be your equals.
It's racist at best, dangerous and actively contributing to more death and violence at worst.
The thing is there isn't really a "point." It creates its own point. Real actionable Zionist sentiment was basically non-existent until the rise of European nationalism. It's literally the exact same brand of nationalism that gave birth to fascist Italy and other great failures of modernity. And when "Israel" was a proto-state basically its entire existence was contingent upon its continued usefulness to Britain as a tool of control over India through the Suez. Zionist claims to the land are super shaky at best and straight up revisionist at worst. Post-facto Israel has tried to give itself legitimacy through fearmongering, genocide, and forging alliances with other imperialist powers. It's doing what America did (and is doing) but it's happening in the age of mass media and we are all watching colonial revisionism happen in real time.
If you are letting the prevalence of Zionism keep you from Judaism, I would say you should keep thinking about it. If you treat Judaism as too thoroughly engulfed in Zionism, you do the work of Zionists for them--you legitimize their claim that Judaism is Zionism is Israel. You legitimize the idea that anti-Zionism is antisemitism which is incidentally exactly how my local rabbis have been fucking me over since June. You are of course totally within your rights not to convert to a religion that doesn't work for you, but I hope you rethink the implication that converting to Judaism is akin to aligning with Zionism.
And yeah, Zionist hypocrisy is a systematic issue within American Jewish institutions in a feedback loop with Jewish populations. Any institutional apparatus is going to have systematic issues that reflect the dominant discourse of the greater cultural framework--mainstream Jewish institutions are going to, both by the nature of maintaining relevancy in America and by the natures of fearmongering and cultural amnesia, have a vested interest in participating in capitalism, imperialism, racism... You are not going to find mainstream insitutions that don't perpetuate them. That's why they're dominant. You are no more aligning yourself with Zionism by going to a synagogue than you are aligning yourself with capitalism by shopping at Wal-Mart. Anything you meaningfully do in public is in some way going to be "problematic" on some level because public space is designed to keep itself alive by those values.
It's exhausting to make yourself never come close to anyone or anything bad at all--refusing to associate with anyone with a problematic ideology is a doomed enterprise. I've been there. A lot of Zionist sentiment is implanted in people's minds with lifelong propaganda and destructive mind control techniques, and it's important to recognize that. That doesn't mean Zionist adults don't have a responsibility to unlearn it, but I think it's possible to have compassion for people who do try to do their best with improving themselves. Most people you meet want to be good and don't want to be willfully ignorant. I try to think about how difficult it is to convince the average well-meaning white American of the merits of decolonization/land back. Most well-meaning Zionist Jews are going to feel the same way about Israel--actual systematic justice and decolonization are not in their lexicons. Decolonization is hidden behind thought-stopping techniques that they have been inundated with from day 1. But most people do have a basic sense of goodness and are willing to sacrifice something for it. Most people are willing to give ground for the sake of human decency. The only way I can survive talking to people I know are Zionists is by understanding that we both want the world to be a better place and if I dwell on the specifics of how I perceive them to be evil, the possibility of us having a working relationship and any hope at productive dialogue drops to zero.
You don't have to be patient with Zionists or Zionist institutions. You don't have to forgive them. You don't even have to be compassionate. But you do need to understand, intellectually, that imposed cognitive dissonance is a very powerful tool of mind control (and I'm not talking about woo-woo shit I'm extrapolating from cult research and personal experience) and that the pathos of Zionism isn't supposed to be logical. Fear trumps hypocrisy. Fatigue trumps informed consent. Charisma trumps logic. Any bigoted ideology is going to fall apart under logical scrutiny, and that's why the only battleground for maintaining bigotry is necessarily charismatic and emotional.
We haven't yet, of course, acknowledged that there are also tons of anti-Zionist Jews and that the concept isn't absurd or fringe, no matter what the dominant Zionist discourse says. It's important for us not to let Zionists be the stewards of Judaism--Zionists do not OWN Judaism. Just like the most Orthodox of Jews also don't OWN Judaism. Judaism is only what you make it to be, and if you leave it alone because you are too worried about Zionism, that is all Judaism is ever going to be for you. Of course, you still have to contend with Zionism, and if you actually are interested in being a Jew, you would have to find a way not to let it kill your Judaism. I've come close (ish) to giving up on Judaism a couple of times because of Israel and Zionism, but I'm glad I haven't. I've stuck it out long enough to give myself to tools I need to separate the two and see the situation with more clarity.
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incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte
i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.
honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense
also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better
butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man
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Why I Love She-Ra (2018)
I watched She-Ra after my YouTube feed had been inundated with She-Ra for a couple of years. I just sort of wanted to know what it was all about. People were talking. I was curious.
I think the first time I felt like crying was during the theme song the first time I saw it.
“We’re Gonna Win In The End!”
This was a queer show. I knew that. And... well, I grew up in the 1980s. And people, we are winning. We are winning this fucking fight with the forces of fucking darkness, some of which were in my own mind and heart, and it has been a long god damn slog but we are winning.
In the late 1990s and early 2000s, I worked for a company that published a phone book (yes, a printed book, with phone numbers in it that you could call. It was a different time, okay?) that was targeted to the gay community. Specifically, it was a yellow page directory with advertisements for restaurants, and florists, and plumbers, and towing services, and any other business that you could think of that were paying money to let gay customers know that they would be treated like fucking human beings by that business.
That book doubled in size every year for 4 years. Because we were winning.
It took decades to go from the Defense of (straight) Marriage Act to nationwide acknowledgement of marriage rights. But we got there. Because we are winning. And I care about this fight.
So, yeah. I’m in. Let’s go. We’re gonna win in the end.
The feels did not stop. I cried during “Promise”. Well, I mean, of course I did, I’m not an inhuman monster. I cried during the battle of Bright Moon. I cried for Catra when Shadow Weaver left her, when she hurt her friends, when her pain and rage tore the world apart. She just kept breaking my heart. I wanted her to make just one good decision.
She did, of course, and I cried about that too. I knew what was coming with “Corridors” but it killed me anyway, Adora’s “no, no, no” just bruised my soul.
And “Save the Cat”? Adora’s righteous fury and the power of her love for Catra... again. Tears.
Maybe it was just 2020. Maybe my emotions were just close to the surface. I don’t know. I HURT for those kids. I wanted them to be okay. I still want them to be okay.
But I also felt seen. Seen in a way that... was different.
I was a middle aged, cis-gendered, straight white male. And this show was hitting me, and hitting me hard, and I didn’t know why. I was invested in this love story. I was invested in the war. I knew they were the same thing.
Not unusual, I suppose. I’m a Jane Austen fan. I like love stories. I like it when main characters get together. I’ve read Pride & Prejudice more than twice. But I don’t feel seen when I do.
Part of it was Catra. We all probably have some Catra in us. I might have more than most. It’s taken a long time to get some of my more extreme behaviors under control, although my rage and trauma tends to direct inward, not outward.
Part of it was Adora. I love characters that reflect fierce protectiveness, a part of us that wants to stand between the universe and the people we love and say “No, You can’t hurt them. You can’t have them. They. Are. Mine.”
But hey, you know, Tony Stark has that vibe in “Avengers: Endgame” and even dies to protect what he loves and while that speaks to me, I don’t feel... seen.
Tony Stark is played by Robert Downey Jr, an actor I grew up watching. Avengers is essentially built for me to watch. Literally, I am the target market, me and the kids I’m going to bring to the theater. I don’t feel seen. Marketed to, maybe. But not seen.
Which led me to wonder why a love story about two lesbians who are too young to drink, set in a world where it is not only okay to be a teenage lesbian but it isn’t even worth commenting on, meant so very much to me.
And thinking about that reminded me of something. Which is that when I was super into Second Life, a decade or so ago, I always used a female avatar. Always.
And it felt right. Perfectly right. And I had a lot of conversations with trans people who were also using female avatars because it helped them get along with their dysphoria. A feeling I don’t have. Of course.
I mean, sure. I prefer playing female avatars in games. That’s totally a cis-het thing to do, right? You know the joke, “If I’m going to be staring at an ass, it might as well be a nice ass.”
Okay, so maybe, just maybe, I did sort of decide that I wasn’t a man during that time. I wasn’t sleeping. I was depressed. I hated my job. Totally understandable. My friends straightened me out, shamed me out of that. Maybe that wasn’t the nicest way they could have approached that but I got shamed out of it, didn’t I? If I were actually trans, that wouldn’t happen. Right?
And I like being male. Well, I like the privileges that come with being male. I like having the upper body strength, and I find other men to be sufficiently terrifying that I wouldn’t want to... take off the armor. Not around them.
Yes, maybe, just maybe, I would prefer to have sex as a woman, given the option. That doesn’t make me trans, it just means that I really feel at home around lesbians and want to be a part of their world. Totally normal cis-het feelings there. It’s not like I would actually transform into a woman if I had a magic wand. I mean, not permanently. Not all the time. Just, you know, sometimes. When I wanted to take the armor off. Just when it felt safe.
Totally. Normal. Cis-Het. Feelings.
I mean, obviously I don’t want to be a woman. I don’t want to carry breasts around, for one thing. Looks uncomfortable. I like having just muscle up there instead, thank you very much. And I’m super comfortable with short hair and a beard. It’s a good look for me. I wouldn’t want to look different. I’m happy with my hormone mix. So, there you go. I’m a boy.
So why don’t I want to be one?
This argument has been raging in my skull forever. Am I a boy? I’m not a girl. I like being able to grow a beard. I’m as Dad a Dad as any Dad on the face of the planet. I don’t want breasts. But... I sort of do want hips.
When I first started questioning my gender, as far as I knew, there were two options. And neither of them fit. Because what I am is non-binary. A fact I would not know if Noelle had not made SPOP, and I don’t know how I can possibly thank her enough for that.
And according to the kids on the enby lesbians server, I’m a non-binary lesbian, which explains the fact that I’m on my fifth Subaru, but doesn’t explain why I don’t currently share my life with a mixed breed Labrador.
I am queer. I felt seen watching She-Ra because I was seen. On Etheria, everyone would use my pronouns. On Etheria, my friends would have helped me through my gender crisis. On Etheria, even in a war, we love and accept each other for who we are. We see each other.
We’re not on Etheria. But I believe we’ll get there.
We’re gonna win in the end.
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Disney but just the Queer Mood™ Songs, a full Spotify Playlist
Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!
Tracklist with specific lyrics that fuck us all up under the cut:
KEY: A general list of which songs resonate with people. The 🏳️🌈is for general songs; if you relate to a song but don’t see ur emoji beneath it, send me a message and I’ll add it!
🏳️🌈 General Queer Anthem
🌈 Gays specifically have related to this song
❤️ Gay Men specifically have related to this song
🧡 Lesbians specifically have related to this song
💕 Bisexuals/Pansexuals specifically have related to this song
💜 Asexuals/Ace-spectrum people specifically have related to this song
💚 Aromatics/Aro-spectrum people specifically have related to this song
🤍 Trans people have specifically related to this song
🖤 Nonbinary/Genderqueer people have specifically related to this song
💗 Polyamorous people have specifically related to this song
Know Who You Are - Moana
🏳️🌈
They have stolen the heart from inside you
But this does not define you
This is not who you are
You know who you are...
I Wonder - Sleeping Beauty
🌈🧡
I wonder, I wonder,
I wonder why each little bird has a someone
To sing to, sweet things to,
A gay little love melody
I wonder, I wonder,
I wonder if my heart keeps singing,
Will my song go winging
To someone, who'll find me
And bring back a love song to me...
Mother Knows Best - Tangled
🏳️🌈 honestly this is just... a general song for some of our shitty relationships to guardian figures...
It's a scary world out there
Mother knows best
One way or another
Something will go wrong, I swear
Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know?
I only bathed and changed and nursed you
Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it
Let me die alone here, be my guest
When it's too late
You'll see, just wait
Mother knows best
Don't forget it
You'll regret it...
Dangerous to Dream - Frozen Broadway Production
🏳️🌈
I can't be what you expect of me
But I'm trying every day with all I do and do not say
Here on the edge of the abyss
Knowing everything in my whole life has lead to this
And so I pull inside myself, close the walls, put up my guard
I've practiced every single day for this
So why is it so hard?
I can't dwell on what we've lost
And our secrecy and silence comes at such a cost
I wish I could tell the truth
Show you who's behind the door
I wish you knew what all this pantomime
And pageantry was for
It's dangerous to wish I could make choices of my own
Dangerous to even have that thought
I'm dangerous just standing here for everyone to see
If I let go of rules who knows how dangerous I'd be?
Reflection - Mulan
🏳️🌈🤍🖤- literally everyone requested this. everyone. so im just copy-pasting the entire lyrics sorry not sorry
Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter
Can it be I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see that if I were truly to be myself
I would break my family's heart
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I’ve tried
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
How I pray that a time will come I can free myself
From their expectations
On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself
And to make my family proud
They want a docile lamb
No one knows who I am
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series
🏳️🌈 when u realize u might not be straight lol
I thought no one could love me
And how could I have known?
I was wrong, oh so wrong
Everything I ever thought I knew
Where I've been, where I'm going
Everything I counted on turned out to be untrue
Could've guessed, should've known, now I do
If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?
I guess I'm someone else now
I wonder who I am
God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame
🏳️🌈...yeah. yeah
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to You
Still, I see Your face and wonder
Were You once an outcast, too?
God help the outcasts, hungry from birth
Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth
God help my people, they look to You, still
God help the outcasts or nobody will
I ask for nothing, I can get by
But I know so many less lucky than I
Please help my people, the poor and downtrod
I thought we all were the children of God
Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast
🌈 when a cishet thinks ur interested smh
Madame Gaston! Can't you just see it?
Madame Gaston! His little wife
No, sir! Not me!
I guarantee it
I want much more than this provincial life!
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell
And for once it might be grand
To have someone understand
I want so much more than they've got planned...
Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid
🌈 SO many people requested this one guys it’s not even funny
Wandering free, wish I could be
Part of that world
Betcha on land, they understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women, sick of swimming
Ready to stand
When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love,
Love to explore that shore up above?
One Jump Ahead (Reprise) - Aladdin
🏳️🌈
Riff-raff, street rat
I don't buy that
If only they'd look closer
Would they see a poor boy? No, siree
They'd find out
There's so much more to me...
Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production
🏳️🌈❤️🤍
That I've been one rotten kid
Some son, some pride and some joy
But I'll get over these lousin' up
Messin' up, screwin' up times...
Water flows under the bridge
Let it pass, let it go
There's no good reason that you should believe me
Not yet, I know, but
Someday and soon
I'll make you proud of your boy
Though I can't make myself taller
Or smarter or handsome or wise
I'll do my best, what else can I do?
Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you...
Someone’s Waiting for You - The Rescuers
🏳️🌈
Be brave, little one
Make a wish for each sad little tear
Hold your head up though no one is near
Someone's waiting for you
Always keep a little prayer in your pocket
And you're sure to see the light
Soon there'll be joy and happiness
And your little world will be bright
Have faith, little one
Til your hopes and your wishes come true
Stick to the Status Quo - High School Musical
🏳️🌈 🌈 YOU ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHY THIS IS HERE
No, no, no, stick to the stuff you know
It is better by far to keep things as they are
Don't mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status quo
Into the Unknown - Frozen 2
🏳️🌈
I can hear you, but I won't
Some look for trouble while others don't
There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day
And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away
I've had my adventure, I don't need something new
I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you
Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me?
Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?
Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow
Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go
Where are you going?
Don't leave me alone
How do I follow you
Into the unknown?
Go the Distance - Hercules
🏳️🌈
I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be
I am on my way, I can go the distance
I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong
I know every mile will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere to find where I belong
Tomorrow - Annie
🏳️🌈 - betcha didnt know disney had an annie movie did u
The sun will come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There'll be sun
When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely,
I just stick out my chin and grin and say, oh,
The sun’ll come out tomorrow
So you gotta hang on til tomorrow, come what may...
Learn Me Right - Brave
🏳️🌈💜💚
Though I may speak some tongue of old
Or even spit out some holy word
I have no strength with which to speak
When you sit me down and see I’m weak
We will run and scream you will dance with me
We'll fulfill our dreams, and we'll be free
We will be who we are, and they’ll heal our scars
Sadness will be far away...
Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast
🏳️🌈
You stand in the light
You're wrong, but you're right
And my heart's beating wildly
Strange how I'm scared but delighted
Afraid, but excited too
I will understand you
Strange how I'm drawn to the danger
I reach out my hand to you
If you're caught in the shadows and turned all around
Lost in the darkness, you will be found
If you hear my voice, follow the sound
Cause I'm here to guide you home...
I Don’t Dance - High School Musical 2
🌈 ❤️ 💕 okay so if you weren’t here for the high school musical tumblr revival you may be confused but listen... it’s about being mlm...
Step up to the plate, start swinging
I wanna play ball
Now that’s all, this is what I do
It ain’t no dance that you can show me
I’ve got what it takes playin’ my game
So you best skin that pitch you gonna throw me, yeah
I’ll show you how I swing
I can prove it to you ‘til you know it’s true
Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too
You’re talking a lot, show me what you got
Stop, swing!
Kiss the Girl - cover of The Little Mermaid
this version is sung by a girl so 🧡💕
There you see her, sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her
And you don't know why, but you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It's possible she want you too
There is one way to ask her...
Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King
🏳️🌈
An enchanted moment
And it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior
Just to be with you
There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager
Beats in time with yours
And can you feel the love tonight?
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight?
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best
Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast
🏳️🌈- a lot of queer people tend to empathize with “beastly” characters so we all latched the fuck onto this movie huh
Just a little change, small to say the least
Both a little scared, neither one prepared
Ever just the same, ever a surprise
Ever as before, ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
Tale as old as time, tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change
Learning you were wrong...
Healing Incantation - Tangled
🏳️🌈🤍🖤
Heal what has been hurt
Change the fates' design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
So Close - Enchanted
🏳️🌈🌈
A life goes by, romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I wanted to hold you so close
Oh, how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this one's not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming though we know we are
So close, so close, and still
So far...
If Only - Descendants
🏳️🌈🌈
A million thoughts in my head
Should I let my heart keep listening?
Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing
I can't decide what's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go?
Every step, every word
With every hour I'm feeling in
To something new, something brave
To someone I've never been
Will you still be with me
When the magic's all run out?
If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin
🏳️🌈- out of context could be interpreted as romantic, esp since the credits version is a duet (🌈 💕) but the original context is friendship so honestly it’s very 💜💚
I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake
Come and find me
I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break
Come and find me
I need you to come here and find me
Cause without you, I'm totally lost
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn't done much good so far
I can only dream of you
But when the morning comes and the sun begins to rise,
I will lose you
Because it’s just a dream, when I open up my eyes,
I will lose you
I used to believe in forever,
But forever is too good to be true
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn't done much good so far
I don't know what else to do
Except to try to dream of you
And wonder, if you're dreaming too
Wherever you are
I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) - Hercules
🏳️🌈 🌈 💕
If there's a prize for rotten judgment,
I guess I've already won that
Who d'you think you're kiddin'?
He's the earth and heaven to ya
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through ya
Girl, you can't conceal it
We know how you feel
And who you're thinking of
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!"
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling
This scene won't play
I won't say I'm in love
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love
Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production
🏳️🌈🤍 🖤
Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day
How can I find my way home?
Home is an empty dream, lost to the night
Father, I feel so alone
When will the dawning break, oh, endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day
I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series
🏳️🌈🤍
There's much more inside of you than anyone can see
And now the choice is yours
Life waits beyond the doors
So step on through, the time has come
And only you can set yourself free!
No one else can tell you what to do
Or who to be!
No one gets to say if you will stay or go
Look inside your heart and find the key...
And set yourself free!
Bound up by your worries
Trapped by your mistakes
Forced to play a role you never chose
Why not test your limits?
You've got what it takes
Let it out and follow where it goes
No more letting someone else define you to a "T"
You know that you are strong
You've known it all along
So seize the day, let down your hair
You’ll find a way to set yourself free!
So look to the horizon
Open up your wings!
Fly away to find your destiny...
And set yourself free!
Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake
🏳️🌈 ALL OF US ALL OF US
Here comes a wave meant to wash me away
A tide that is taking me under
Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me!
Don't you underestimate me!
Cause I know that I won't go speechless!
Written in stone, every rule, every word
Centuries old and unbending
"Stay in your place, better seen and not heard,"
Well, now that story is ending
Try to lock me in this cage!
I won't just lay me down and die!
I will take these broken wings
And watch me burn across the sky!
I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) - Treasure Planet
🏳️🌈❤️🤍
I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what do you think you'd understand
I'm a boy - No, I'm a man
You can't take me and throw me away
And how can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me, cause I’m not here
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am
They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin'
While I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies
That I'll never believe!
Crossing the Line - cover of Tangled: the Series
🏳️🌈 🧡 tfw when u are DONE with that fuckin closet
This has to stop now
This thing where you think that you've been my friend
And don't even hear how you condescend
The way you've always done
How I've tried to jump that great divide!
But I've never got the chances you were given
You don't know how much I've been denied
Well, I'm not being patient anymore
I'm crossing the line!
And I'm done holding back
So look out, clear the track, it's my turn!
I'm taking what's mine
Every drop, every smidge
If I'm burning a bridge, let it burn!
But I'm crossing the line...
Let it Go - Frozen
🏳️🌈 listen. i do not have to explain this one. you all know exactly why it’s here. we were all tiny gays in 2013 losing our shit in the theater for no discernable reason why. we know
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know!
Let it go! Let it go!
Turn away and slam the door!
I don't care what they're going to say!
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free!
I'm never going back, the past is in the past!
Let it go! Let it go!
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go! Let it go!
That perfect girl is gone!
This is Me - Camp Rock
🏳️🌈 🧡 💕 🤍
I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face
So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say
But I have this dream right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show it's time
To let you know
It's to let you know
Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark?
To dream about a life where you're the shining star
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am there's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be...
Breaking Free - High School Musical
🏳️🌈 🖤
You know the world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are
Creating space between us
'Till we're separate hearts
But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe
Soarin, flyin
There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
If we’re trying, yeah we’re breaking free
We’re running, climbin
To get to the place, to be all that we can be
Now’s the time, so we’re breaking free
True To Your Heart - Mulan
🏳️🌈 🌈
Baby, I knew at once that you were meant for me
Deep in my soul, I know that I'm your destiny
Though you're unsure
Why fight the tide
Don't think so much
Let your heart decide
True to your heart
You must be true to your heart
That's when the heavens'll part
And, baby, shower you with my love
Open your eyes
Your heart can tell you no lies
And when you're true to your heart
I know it's gonna lead you straight to me
Someone ya know is on your side can set you free
I can do that for you if you believe in me
Why second guess what feels so right
Just trust your heart
And you'll see the light
Never Knew I Needed - The Princess and the Frog
🏳️🌈 🌈 💕
For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I have
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing...
My accidental happily ever after
The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter
I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So when you were here I had no idea
You'd be the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear I need you here always
Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas
🏳️🌈 - colors.... rainbows.... yea
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know...
You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew
How high will the sycamore grow
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind...
I See the Light - Tangled
🏳️🌈 🌈 - you would not BELIEVE how many of y’all requested this one
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here, suddenly I see
Standing here, it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be
Now she's here shining in the starlight
Now she's here, suddenly I know
If she's here it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go
And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything looks different
Now that I see you
Strangers Like Me - Tarzan
🏳️🌈 🤍 🖤- that moment when u find another queer person and ur like “holy shit”
I can see there's so much to learn
It's all so close and yet so far
I see myself as people see me
Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there
Come with me now to see my world
Where there's beauty beyond your dreams
Can you feel the things I feel
Right now, with you
Take my hand
There's a world I need to know...
Why Should I Worry? - Oliver & Company
🏳️🌈- we’re queer, we’re here, get used to it
Why should I worry?
Why should I care?
I may not have a dime
But I got street savoir-faire
Why should I worry?
Why should I care?
It's just be-bopulation
And I got street savoir-faire
Why should I worry?
Why should I care?
And even when I crossed that line
I got street savoir-faire
Welcome - Brother Bear
🏳️🌈 pride parade amirite
Everyone's invited
This is how we live
We are here for each other, happy to give
All we have we share
And all of us we care
There's a bond between us nobody can explain
It's a celebration of life
We see our friends again
I'll be there for you
I know you'll be there for me, too
So come on!
This has to be the most beautiful
The most peaceful place I've ever been to
It's nothing like I've never seen before
When I think how far I've come
I can't believe it
And yet I see it
In them I see family
I see the way we used to be...
The Great Divide - Tinkerbell and the Secret of the Wings
🏳️🌈
I'm on your side
Let's take this ride
And together we're facing the world
Doing things nobody's done before
And the great divide doesn’t seem so wide anymore
With You by My Side - Tangled: the Series
💗 - tangled the series was so close to being canon polyam istg
Now; now more than ever
We must stick together united
If we're destined to head in our own different ways
Let's make the most of these sweet final days
Why not go out in a glorious blaze
There's nothing I couldn't do
Not with you by my side
What in the world would I do
Without you by my side...
Love Will Find a Way - The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride
🏳️🌈 🌈
In a perfect world
One we've never known
We would never need to face the world alone
They can have the world
We'll create our own
I may not be brave or strong or smart
But somewhere in my secret heart
And if only they could feel it too
The happiness I feel with you
Like dark turning into day
Somehow we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way
I know love will find a way
Space Between - Descendants 2
🧡 never have i ever seen gays flock to a song faster
And you can find me in the space between
Where two worlds come to meet
I'll never be out of reach
Cause you're a part of me so you can find me in the space between
You'll never be alone
No matter where you go
We can meet in the space between
Even if we're worlds apart
You're still in my heart
It will always be you and me, yeah
If I Never Knew You - Pocahontas
🏳️🌈🌈
And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me...
In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes
If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night
But still my heart is saying we were right
I’d Give Anything - Tangled: the Series
🧡 rapunzel’s sad breakup song
So if you find that you're in darkness or despair
Though you won't turn to me please know I'll be right there
Name any sacrifice, I'll pay the price that's due
Cause I'd give anything for you
Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew...
Someday - Hunchback of Notre Dame
🏳️🌈
I used to believe
In the days I was naïve
That I'd live to see
A day of justice dawn
And though I will die
Long before that morning comes
I'll die while believing still
It will come when I am gone
Someday, when we are wiser
When the world's older, when we have learned
I pray someday we may yet live
To live and let live
Someday, these dreams will all be real
Till then we'll wish upon the moon
Change will come, one day
Someday soon...
No One Is Alone - Into the Woods
🏳️🌈
Mother cannot guide you, now your on your own.
Only me beside you, still you're not alone.
No one is alone.
Truly, no one is alone…
People make mistakes
Holding to their own
Thinking they’re alone
Someone is on your side, someone else is not
While we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot
They are not alone, no one is alone...
I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors) - Moana
🏳️🌈 🤍 - it’s about the self-acceptance binch
Sometimes, the world seems against you
The journey may leave a scar
But scars can heal and reveal just
Where you are
The people you love will change you
The things you have learned will guide you
And nothing on Earth can silence
The quiet voice still inside you
I've delivered us to where we are
I have journeyed farther
I am everything I've learned and more
Still it calls me
And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me!
It's like the tide, always falling and rising
I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me
That come what may
I know the way
Show Yourself - Frozen 2
🏳️🌈 - this one was claimed immediately by the queer community and we all have a stake in it but i do want to point out that i got this from a LOT of 🤍 🖤 💜 💚
I have always been a fortress
Cold secrets deep inside
You have secrets too
But you don't have to hide
I've never felt so certain
All my life, I've been torn
But I'm here for a reason
Could it be the reason I was born?
I have always been so different
Normal rules did not apply
Is this the day?
Are you the way
I finally find out why?
Oh, show yourself
Let me see who you are...
Come to me now
Open your door
Don't make me wait
One moment more!
(Come, my darling, homeward bound)
I am found!
Transformation / Beauty and the Beast (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast Broadway Production
🏳️🌈
We are home, we are where we shall be forever
Trust in me, for you know I won’t run away from today
This is all that I need, and all that I need to say
Don’t you know how you’ve changed me?
Strange how I finally see
I found home, you’re my home, stay with me...
Finale / Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production
🏳️🌈 this makes me bawl so it gets finale
There’s so much I longed to say
Then say it all, beginning with today
It’s like a dream I thought could never be
Elsa, you’re free
Here we stand in the light of day
Let the sun shine on
I take this warmth within and send it up above
Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this world with light and love
And here surrounded by a family at least
We’re never going back, the past is in the past
Let our true love go
Let it go!
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since its pride month
a appreciation post of some of the #LGBTQ youtubers I enjoy watching
Kat blaque: Obviously. Like she's one of the most popular trans youtubers out there. I appreciate that she gets candid on a lot of things that other people really don't like getting candid about. Its exhausting and uncomfortable for a lot of people to go in depth with being trans or being black or bdsm or politics in an honest and sometimes unpopular way. which is why I appreciate kat so much
sarah zedd: Sarah’s channel itself is type a as fuck. she's so organized and poignant and thorough. Her channel covers old internet drama (and new internet drama) that revolves around old internet phenomenons and queer media.I appreciate this because Im very much out of the loop on everything so in a way sarah keeps me hip with the kids. I also appreciate that shes dedicated to getting a comprehensive look and different perspectives on all the topics she covers. She identifies as bisexual and queer so she also has some personal hot takes that give the videos extra *zest*. (shoutout to emily, sarah’s trans cowriter)
Troyce Tv: Asexual icon. He has all the hot takes. All of them. He basically owns them now. While all of his content and opinions are highly subjective I really enjoy it. He’s never been one to mince words and its messy and I enjoy it. Even the interview he did with that one guy that straight up didn't understand what being asexual was, was fun to watch. He has a personality
xiran jay zhao: A chinese history buff who blew up after a comprehensive and education drag of Mulan (2020). I quite enjoy their videos. Theres a lot of educational tidbits and well thought out commentary on media either inspired by or based on east asian history. Xirans calm demeanor, wit, and unique style also makes them charming to watch. Some of the best parts of their videos is when their cat kokochin sits in front of the camera and Xiran refuses to acknowledge it. Its not even there. Doesn't even blink. Little shpiel, Xirans stated they them pronouns are preferred but she her are fine too, Xiran uses both to refer to themself so I cant straight up state their identity here oop.
PD (for of therapy): PD!! as you guys may not know, a bitch loves kpop. bitch is me, i am very much into kpop. Pd’s channel form of therapy is dedicated to music video breakdowns of new releases in the kpop world. PD is a director themselves so they always have the tea. whats real, whats cgi, whats clever, whats messy, wheres the lighting, how’d they pull of that transition? Pd has all the answers. ANOTHER shpiel. PD is a transgender lesbian woman. Not common knowledge to the *casual* watcher its in the youtube bio. Also note PD is fine with she/her pronouns. Pd made this really good two part short film 1 in10,000 about two girl besties that fall for eachother. Pd also podcasts sometimes on viral stories in the korean entertainment sphere, I really enjoy it because PD bridges korean and american views for a very whole outlook on the topic at hand.
Nick DiRamio: Clip Breakdown is another great directorial perspective on movies, music videos, shows and more. Nicks experience working in the industry and unrelenting one liners are the perfect balance of an educational drag. Nick has been very open and candid about being a gay man and this works so well with his commentaries. I personally appreciate how he breaks down things that me straight ass would not have caught onto otherwise. He’s very clever, hes entertaining and thought provoking at times too. Love love loooove is channel
#honorable mentions#anna akana#amanda the jedi#footnote i will say this in the tags because i'll get flamed#but i also watch shallon lester#oops there i said it#celebrity gossip is an achilles heel of mine#i cant help it#😫#lgbtq#lgbt#lgbtqia+#lesbian#bisexual#nonbinary#gay#transgender#trans#pride month
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here’s some modern au headcanons for the arcana ... it’s something I think about a lot
Asra
gamer memeing shitlord . he majored in minecraft you cannot convince me otherwise
plays A Lot of minecraft but also just enjoys any similar sort of game, sdv, animal crossing, etc. He’s really good at video games but he’s just fucking around . he likes to play online games and try his best to make everyone hate him in a really harmless sort of way . he heals the enemy spy . changes his display name and avatar to be exactly the same as someone else . tells people to go into the console and type unbindall
he plays games with his friends and he’s usually the top player so he just spends his time spoiling the shit out of his friends giving them good items carrying them through dungeons etc but not Julian, he tells Julian to dig straight down in minecraft . Julian doesn’t ever know what he’s doing in any video game so Asra trains him wrong on purpose, as a joke
anyway enough about video games (for now)
Asra lives in a van that he painted the exterior of himself, it was both a fun project and a very smug way to annoy people with this awful fucking hippie van strolling into town, eat shit
it’s decorated with crystals, furs, fairy lights, mason jars full of food For The Aesthetic, books, etc. It’s very cozy, cottagecore / bohemian and it’s ridiculously obvious that he’s into witchcraft. he just lets Faust explore because this isn’t real and I can pretend that a snake is exactly as well behaved as in a fantasy story
basically homeless by choice
drugs tw but I see him as the type to want to try anything and everything at least once so if he’s ever been offered A Drug (and he crashes parties for fun and for free food, so he’s got opportunities) he’ll try it Just To See, and this has resulted in some bad trips before, but Muriel saw him in the middle of one and then after he sobered up Muriel put his foot down and made Asra agree to only do these things as responsibly as possible, like, with supervision from a friend
still drugs tw but I also see Asra as a stoner but in the cbd edibles sort of way, a lot of this is because I headcanon Asra as having ADD (because I do and I want to project a little bit) so it helps him focus but also he just Likes It. the glove box of his car has like, chocolate/lollipop edibles stuff like that
goes between like super healthy elaborate meals with mushrooms and veggies and fresh meat and shit and then just eating nothing but cheez-its all day
style wise I see him as the type to wear a lot of tank tops, like, the loosest of tank tops so it hangs super low and long and you get some nice cleavage out of it, crystal necklaces, gold jewelry, pride pins/jewelry/etc (trans/nonbinary/bisexual flags), oversized hoodies with loud colorful patterns, joggers and other loose comfy pants, and either boots or slippers
he’s got like... the at home look that’s basically what I just described, and then the away from home look that’s got thirty layers and none of it makes sense and he just shows up in orange crocs With Patterned Socks and everyone who sees him just lets out the heaviest sigh
Asra getting home be like (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a l
He likes to go on long road trips completely at random and saves up money to go on more extensive trips like, out of the continent. It can be really hard to place him at any given time, especially because he’s extremely slow to respond to texts for a whole multitude of reasons. He just fucking vanishes sometimes and he doesn’t get that maybe people want to know where he is. He’s too solitary
He makes money either via street performances (magic, tarot readings, etc) or selling shit on etsy like handmade tarot decks, crystal necklaces, magic charms, etc. He Has Never Worked A Day In His Life and He Will Not Start Now
Responsibility? Don’t know her
People ask him really obnoxious questions sometimes and he makes outlandish lies to tell them for fun . Why do you live in a van? A house killed my parents
In the fall/winter he lives with Muriel or more to the point, he crashes on his couch for a really long time and Muriel’s landlord doesn’t need to know about it for rent purposes
Julian
he’s a highly paid doctor and your mother would love it if you’d marry him if not for the fact that he looks like he never left his teenage emo phase
PIERCINGS
There’s DEFINITELY at least one piercing on his d
he lives with Portia and Mazelinka and tries to handle all their expenses but Mazelinka won’t fucking let him
soundproofed his room but not because he’s a youtuber or anything but because he uh. y’know what I’m gonna let y’all figure this one out on your own
goes to like............. lgbt friendly bdsm clubs every now and then looking for someone to step on him and call him garbage it’s for his mental health you don’t understand
black turtlenecks . silver jewelry . distinguished but Edgy as well, black boots, winklepickers, doc martens, ohmygod this is my SHIT I’m giving him red plaid pants and a reversed cross necklace and a leather jacket that says some radical shit on the back and Lots of Rings . black jeans with tears in the knees and black eyeshadow, demonia boots, leather gloves, hhhhhhOHmy GOD
catch him at home in black leggings and a my chemical romance tshirt with holes in it . he wakes up in the morning with yesterday’s makeup and he just cleans it up a little and that’s good enough
fairly small bedroom because he’s usually never at home, but it’s still pretty clear what he’s into even if it’s not super decorated or elaborate, kind of just Default Room but with his stuff arranged throughout . band posters, black furniture, a bed that looks like a depressed vampire sleeps in it, a bookshelf but most of the books are scattered around his desk, bed, and the floor. there’s a taxidermy skull on display somewhere because it’s just so dramatic you gotta love it
plays a black electric violin
extremely out of tune with pop culture he still listens to 70-00s music and he doesn’t know what a minecraft is or why Asra keeps yelling CREEPER when he comes into the room nor why Portia yells back AW MAN
I googled it and he qualifies as a millennial but I still see him as such a fucking old man who doesn’t know how to use electronics
despite being a doctor he’s so unhealthy . he eats nothing but depression meals (or just, nothing) unless someone forces him to sit down and eat an actual meal . No Julian whiskey does not count for your daily water intake
Malak probably happened because Julian wouldn’t stop feeding every black bird he saw just for the aesthetic and that was like 17 years ago but they still show up at his window expecting almonds or whatever the fuck . he changes houses but they’re too smart . you try to be a cool gothic thespian with a raven that will pose on your arm ONE time when you’re a teenager and they just never stop coming
sad lonely no friends hasn’t been laid in six years because he’s too busy and no longer remembers how to form meaningful relationships. Portia keeps being like so I met this really hot (insert gender here) and like idk I think they’re into goth dudes............... just saying...................... and he’s like am I really so pathetic that I’m going to let my baby sister set up blind dates for me? Yes
would drive something very goth like a hearse or some shit if not for the fact that his family would make sure he ends up in a coffin in the back of it if he drove up in that shit . please . buy a normal fucking car . Julian . oh my god
he starts quoting melodramatic poetry at the slightest inconvenience . he is that “All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread. My cat stole my fucking garlic bread” meme
been arrested multiple times for general rowdiness but also for political activism . at this point Portia/Mazelinka will just sigh and pay his bail and they don’t even ask what he did this time . how does he still have a job? I wish I knew
theater kid
Muriel
lives in a rundown apartment in the shitty part of town because it’s all he can afford, it’s quiet, and no one will try to visit him (except Asra) because no one wants to go to THAT part of town . but no harm will likely ever befall him because he’s 6′10 and like three million pounds of raw muscle with battle scars like you gonna fuck with that? really?
even if he got robbed it wouldn’t matter because A) he doesn’t own anything B) Inanna will chase the thief away
depression man staying in his quiet rundown dark apartment distracting himself with idle hobbies and taking care of his dog to prevent the encroaching ennui from tearing him a new asshole
changes jobs frequently both because he never stands out therefore never gets taken on full time after the part time trial period, AND to protect himself from the horror of being known
works mostly things like construction, auto repair, dog sitting/walking/etc, woodworking, mostly hard labor but if he can convince granny to let a very scary but completely harmless man look after her bichon frise for the weekend then he’s pretty happy about that
in a similar manner, he orders everything online so cashiers/etc won’t start to recognize him. delivery workers leave everything outside his door and he just drags it inside after they leave like an itazura kitty coin bank
goes camping a lot because staying cooped up in his apartment is super bad for his mental health and he doesn’t like to take walks through the city for a multitude of reasons. he takes Inanna on walks through the woods instead
Asra is his only friend and that’s fine (it’s not fine)
convinced therapy doesn’t work and he wants nothing to do with it
doesn’t like using electronics and only keeps a few things around his house so Asra can use them when he’s around . Muriel has a phone (that Asra got for him) so he can text Asra, check the time, check the weather, google questions, and like, nothing else
pretty much only happy when something is about dogs. he wants to go to the pet store and look at the dogs but he needs Asra to go with him so Asra can distract the workers and Muriel can look at the puppies in peace
dresses in blacks, grays, greens, and browns for the most part, jacket with the hood up, tank tops, dark jeans with tears in them, brown boots with mud stains on them . functional, not particularly stylish, and if he’s going to be in public he doesn’t want to make it easy for anyone to see his face. at home it’s mostly no shirt + sweatpants/joggers/etc. doesn’t accessorize or put in any real effort. he doesn’t care what he looks like (because he’s convinced he’s not much to look at anyway)
lives that super eco friendly life like Asra does but it’s more that he just feels comfortable living like he’s always on a camping trip
he doesn’t want to eat junk like Asra does but if Asra shows up with mcdonalds then well he can’t really say no
the type who uses something until he absolutely cannot use it anymore instead of just buying a new one
has never been to a doctor, dentist, etc Ever. the most he can do is take Inanna to the vet because he loves her so much
drives a very old pickup truck with like, chipped paint and mud stains. he’d take better care of it if only anything in life mattered
didn’t go to school
Portia
I like to think that she took on a groundskeeping job at Nadia’s very expensive large house and they fell in love and now Nadia pays for everything and Portia just spends her time gardening, playing with Pepi, and like idk running a vlogging/gaming youtube channel
200 videos of Pepi on her youtube channel with 4 million views each bare minimum . takes random videos of cats where she has to audio edit it to shit so you can’t hear her high pitched squeals of delight
minecraft let’s play part 30 where her, Asra, Nadia, and Julian play together and it’s extremely chaotic because Asra and Portia decide to gang up on Julian who does NOT know what he’s doing, and then Nadia surprises them all by not being the bigger person and instead tricking Julian into some elaborate trap where he steps on a trapdoor and falls 15 blocks into some lava and he looks up and all he sees is Nadia’s smug fucking avatar looking down at him
nightcore. it’s just not FAST enough
wears sweaters with cats on them. generally dresses in warm colors + brown/green, it’s like a very soft cozy look that you could go camping in or just generally be outside and get grass stains and whatnot. cute, functional
likes to make Julian do things for her like drive her places etc because like, he will. he always will
really likes social gatherings with her friends; sleepovers, beach trips, sitting at mcdonalds and pouring all their fries into a pile etc. tries to get Julian to go with her but he’s Just So BUSY. she makes fun of him and makes him drive her to it, then manages to convince him to stay
cottagecore aesthetic . she just thinks it’s so cute to have the little mason jars and decorate everything with leaves and flowers and BEES and whatnot . would love to live in a little cottage with a farm if she could
her room has a big cat tree in it . green wallpaper with yellow flowers. pressed flowers into books, an extremely cozy bed, fairy lights, it’s very farmy but also there’s a lot of electronics. she’s got a lot of 00s games, like, right in that ps2 sweet spot
nicknames all of her pokemon
she spoils the ever loving shit out of Pepi. She’s got a little cat harness and they go on walks through the park together
I don’t have a lot to say about the other two I Am Sorry
#the arcana#julian devorak#asra alnazar#muriel#portia devorak#nix hydra#text#writing#modern au#headcanon#the arcana writing
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It's been a couple years but like Noah just made his video reflecting on his mistakes and apologizing for it and he's right, it's a healthy excerise to do. I don't know whether or not I directly invalidated or hurt anyone, I have memory problems and I can't remember. Regardless, I held these believes and that is more than enough to apologize for.
TW: transphobia, biphobia, aphobia, racism, cultural appropriation. I don't know what being a jerk to otherkin folk is called, but that too.
Here's some things I'm sorry for having believed in the past:
I'm sorry I believed microlabels are stupid. They're not and I use a few myself. It's just a way of turning your experience into something tangible and finding others like you, to feel less alone.
Similiar to the last one, I'm sorry I used to dislike the mogai community. I used to blame transphobia on them and that's not okay. It's never been the fault of trans people.
I'm sorry I used to make fun of neopronouns. I believed that's why I was experiencing transphobia, I blamed it on trans people just living their lives. Not only did I ignore the history of neopronouns, but I acted as though I had authority on other's experinces. I don't. It doesn't matter how arbitrary the pronouns. If it makes someone comfortable and they want to use them, then it's not up to me to ask why or find some scientific reason, it's up to me to respect them and validate their real experiences.
I'm sorry I used to call bi people transphobic. Terms change over time and most people define it as attraction to multiple genders. I had absolutely no right to deminish this identity that's been around to decades based off of the prefix bi meaning 2. Respecting people's identities are far more important than some arbitrary grammar rules. I didn't listen to people with the label saying that's how they defined it, I listened to people who didn't know what they were talking about.
I'm sorry I used to invalidate a large part of the asexual community. I believed that it was a black and white topic. Despite not even identifying as aspec at the time, I felt like I had some sort of authority to talk on a topic that has absolutely nothing to do with me. I considered anyone who has any sort of sexual attraction or even a sex drive to be allosexual and just "trying to be oppressed". Your identities are all valid and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I used to invalidate a large part of the aromantic community. Not only did I consider asexuals and aromantics the same and judge people for being allosexual and aromantic, but I also believed that it was a black and white topic. Instead of listening to your experiences and learning, I just decided you all were "cishet white teenage girls who wanna be oppressed so badly". That was absolutely horrible of me and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I made fun of otherkin folk. I'll admit, even now I'm probably not as educated or understanding of the topic as I should be. But I'm neurodivergent myself and I understand how someone would identify more with a special interest or an animal than they do as human. I should have recognised that what I was doing was exactly what others do to me. There is absolutely no excuse for the actions I had. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I used to believe that it was okay to do things from closed practices. Before finding out Wicca was founded by a white supremisist and that most of the popular practices within the community are stolen, I used to be one. I thought that some closed practices were okay to do because "oh everyone does that". That's not how it works. Wicca itself was created by stealing the beliefs of Native Americans. This happened during a time where Native practices were being criminalised. While their cultures were being destroyed and erased, while they were being persecuted for it, Wiccans could practice their religion openly and freely with no concequences. I did not educate myself or research into any of it and what practices they might have come from. While I don't believe that during the short time I was practicing that I did anything from a closed practice, excusing it was not okay by any stretch of the word. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I used to believe in a lot of ableist spiritualisations of things, specifically neurodivergent people. Things like starseed and indigo children. The origin of that was that they were terms created to dehumanize disabled children and treat them as less than human.
All of those were from the ages of 12-13, I'm 15 now.
For all of these, this next one especially, I have had the instinct to defend past me and justify his actions. Things like saying how young he was, how he was 12-13, how his only exposure to things were through certain circles, but that doesn't make it okay. There is absolutely no sort of excuse or justification. I don't want anyone to reblog this and accept my apologies if you're not from the community for the apology you're accepting.
I'm sorry I ever supported iDubbbz view on the n-word. I knew enough about it to know that it was a word white people shouldn't say, but I didn't know why. He said that him saying it, reclaiming a slur that does not belong to him, is taking the power away from it. He blamed people who called him out for it for giving a slur power. I knew that there must be something I was missing so I never said it, but I had access to the internet. I could have googled it. There is no sort of excuse for it, it only being something I believed for a short stretch of time and my age didn't change that that's what I thought. I'm sorry.
I understand if this makes some people want to unfollow me or if it makes people dislike me. I understand if people don't forgive me. What I did was not just made okay after I realised I was a part of those communities. I have no right to form an opinion, positive or negative, in terms of forgiving myself for what I thought about communities I was not a part of.
I have always prided myself on how understanding I am of others, how I haven't done "problematic" things, but really I just didn't have a platform to do them on. These are all things I could just leave behind me unsaid.
But I think this is important.
It's important to recognise when you fuck up so you can do better.
Ignoring that I've done some really shitty things doesn't mean they didn't happen.
This is important to do and I'd recommend you do it too. Whether it's publically or privately. Recognise that you did bad things. It doesn't make who you are now bad.
Having said that, the concept that it doesn't make now me bad and that I did shitty things that no one owes me forgiveness for co-exist.
I didn't share this to get apologies and reassurances that "it's okay". It's not okay. It wasn't okay at the time and what I did is still not okay. It might be in the past, but I still held those beliefs and may have hurt people because of them.
If you're a part of a group I'm saying sorry to you can forgive me. But we all need to learn that not only do we not need to forgive people for the things they've done in the past, but that forgiving someone doesn't make what they did okay.
If you're a part of any of the communities and have something to say, you can reblog or comment or message me or send in an ask. But you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. It's not your responsibility.
If I have said anything that sounds like justifying or excusing my actions, please tell me so I can fix it. I don't have time right now to go back and proof read, but I tried to apologize. Apologies can include context as to what you're apologizing for, but not justification of what happened.
I hope you all have a nice day.
#self call out#call out#tw#long post#apologies#racism#homophobia#transphobia#biphobia#cultural appropriation#ableism#aphobia#arophobia#acephobia
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I’d go so far as to say that the nomination probably saved the site, in fact. For those who need a little background: despite being a small voluntary project the site was nominated for the 2014 Publication of the Year award by Stonewall, the UK’s largest LGBT charity, just nine months after its inception. This was a landmark step in Stonewall’s positive new direction on bi issues. To the best of my knowledge, this was the first time Stonewall had specifically nominated a specifically bi publication or organisation for an award. At this point my co-founder, who was taking care of the business side of things, had recently jumped ship and I was seriously considering packing the whole thing in. I won’t lie, I was astonished to read the email.
I’d worked on a publication which won the award under my editorship a few years previously. Unlike Biscuit, however, g3 magazine – at the time one of the two leading print mags for lesbian and bi women in the UK – had an estimated readership of 140,000, had been going for eight years and boasted full-time paid office staff and regular paid freelancers. Biscuit, by contrast, was being dragged along by one weary unpaid editor and a bunch of unpaid writers who understandably, for the most part, couldn’t commit to regularly submitting work.
Little Biscuit’s enormous competition for the award consisted of Buzzfeed, Attitude.co.uk, iNewspaper and Property Week. We didn’t win – that accolade went to iNewspaper – but the nomination was nevertheless, as I say, a huge catalyst to continue with the site. I launched a crowdfunder, which finished way off target. I sold one ad space, for two months. Then nothing. I attempted in vain to recruit a sales manager but nobody wanted to work on commission. Some wonderful writers came and went. There were periods of tumbleweed when I frantically had to fill the site with my own writing, thereby completely defeating the object of providing a platform for a wide range of bi voices.
The Stonewall Award nomination persuaded me to keep going with the site
The departure of the webmaster was another blow. Thankfully by this point I had a co-editor on board – the amazing Libby – so I was persuaded to stick with it. And here we are now. I don’t actually know where the next article is coming from. That’s not a good feeling. But, apart from for Biscuit, I try not to write for free anymore myself, so I understand exactly why that is. As a freelance journo trying to make a living I’ve had to be strict with myself about that. I regularly post on the “Stop Working For Free” Facebook group and often feel a pang of misplaced guilt because I ask my writers to write for free, even though I’m working on the site for free myself, and losing valuable time I could be spending on looking for paid work.
Biscuit hasn’t exactly been a stranger to controversy, in addition to its financial and staffing issues. Its original tagline – “for girls who like girls and boys” – was considered cis-centric by some, leading to accusations that the site had some kind of trans/genderqueer*-phobic agenda. Which was amusing, as at the height of this a) we’d just had two articles about non-binary issues published and b) I was actually engaged to a genderqueer partner, a fact they were clearly unaware of. Now the site is under fire from various pansexual activists who object to the term “bisexual”. To clarify – “girl and boys” was supposed to imply a spectrum and, no, we don’t think “bi” applies only to an attraction to binary folk. The site aims the main part of its content at female-spectrum readers attracted to more than one gender because this group does have specific needs. But there is something here for EVERYONE bisexual. Anyway, it’s a shame all of this gossip was relayed secondhand, and the people in question didn’t think to confront me about it (which at least the pan activists have bothered to do). We damage our community immeasurably with these kinds of Chinese whispers.
Biscuit ed Libby, being amazing
Whilst trying to keep the site afloat, I’ve also been building on the work I started right back when I edited g3, and trying to improve bi visibility in other media outlets. I’ve recently had articles published by Cosmopolitan, SheWired, The F-Word, GayStar News and Women Make Waves and I’m constantly emailing other sites which I’ve not yet written for with bi pitches. Unfortunately, although I am over the moon to be writing for mainstream outlets such as Cosmo about bi issues, it’s been an uphill struggle trying to persuade some editors out there that they have more readers to whom bi-interest stories apply than they might think. It’s an incredibly exhausting and frustrating process.
Libby and I are doing our best with Biscuit. I can’t guarantee that I would be doing anything at all with it if Libby hadn’t arrived on the scene, so once again I would like to mention how fabulous she is. But we desperately need more writers. We need some help with site design and tech issues. We need a hand with the business and sales side of things. We can’t do it without you. And if you know any rich bisexual heiresses who read Biscuit, please do send them our way. 😉
Grant Denkinson’s story
denkinsonpanel
Grant speaks on a panel chaired by Biscuit’s Lottie at a Bi Visibility Day event
So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in.
“I’ve been involved with bisexual community organising for a bit over 20 years. Some has been within community: writing for and editing our national newsletter, organising events for bisexuals and helping others with their events by running workshop sessions or offering services such as 1st aid. I’ve spoken to the media about bisexuality and organised bi contingents at LGBT Pride events (sometimes just me in a bi T-shirt!). I’ve helped organise and participated in bi activist weekends and trainings. I’ve help train professionals about bisexuality. I’ve also piped up about bisexuality a lot when organising within wider LGBT and gender and sexuality and relationship diversity umbrellas. I’ve been a supportive bi person on-line and in person for other bi folks. I’ve been out and visibly bi for some time. I’ve helped fund bi activists to meet, publish and travel. I’ve funded advertising for bi events. I’ve set up companies and charities for or including bi people. I’ve personally supported other bi activists.”
What made you get involved?
“
In some ways I was looking for a way to be outside the norm and to make a difference and coming out as bi gave me something to push against. I’ve been less down on myself when feeling attacked. I’ve also found the bi community very welcoming and where I can be myself and so wanted to organise with friends and to give others a similar experience. There weren’t too many others already doing everything better than I could.”
How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?
“There have been great changes for same-sex attracted people legally and socially and these have happened quickly. Bi people have been involved with making that happen and benefit from it. We can also be hidden by gay advances or actively erased. We still have bi people not knowing many or any other local bi people, not seeing other bisexuals in the mainstream or LGT worlds and not knowing or being able to access community things with other bis. We are little represented in books or the media and people don’t know about the books and zines and magazines already available. The internet has made it easy to find like-minded people but also limited privacy and I think is really fragmented and siloed. It is hard to find bisexuals who aren’t women actors, harmful or fucked up men or women in pornography designed for straight men. We have persistent and high quality bi events but they are sparse and small.”
What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?
“I’m fed up of bi things just not happening if I don’t do them. Not everything should be in my style and voice and I shouldn’t be doing it all. I and other activists campaign for bi people to be more OK and don’t take care of ourselves enough while doing so. People are so convinced we don’t exist they don’t bother with a simple search that would find us. We have little resources while having some of the worst outcomes of any group. I don’t want to spend my entire life being the one person who reminds people about bisexuals, including our so-called allies. I’m not impressed with the problem resolution skills in our communities and while we talk about being welcoming I’m not sure we’re very effective at it. I’m fed up with mouthing the very basics and never getting into depth about bi lives and being one who supports but who is not supported. I’m all for lowering barriers but at a certain point if people don’t actively want to do bi community volunteering it won’t happen. Some people are great critics but build little.”
What do you want to say to other activists about this?
“Why are we doing this personally? I’m not sure we know. How long will we hope rather than do? Honestly, are there so few who care? Alternatively should we stop the trying to do bi stuff and either do some self-analysis, be happy to accept being what we are now as a community, chill out and just let stuff happen or give up and go and do something else instead.”
Patrick Richards-Fink’s story
085d4de So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in.
“Mostly internet – I am a Label Warrior, a theorist and educator. Here’s how I described it on my blog: “One of the reasons that I am a bisexual activist rather than a more general queer activist is because I see every day people just like me being told they don’t belong. It doesn’t mean I don’t work on the basic issues that we all struggle against — homophobia, heterosexism, classism, out-of-control oligarchy, racism, misogyny, this list in in no particular order and is by no means comprehensive. But I have found that I can be most effective if I focus, work towards understanding the deep issues that drive the problems that affect people who identify the same way that I have ever since I started to understand who I am. I find that I’m not a community organizer type of activist or a storm the capitol with a petition in one hand and a bullhorn in the other activist — I’m much better at poring over studies and writing long wall-o’-text articles and occasionally presenting what I’ve gleaned to groups of students until my voice is so hoarse that I can barely do more than croak.” So internet, and when I was still in school, a lot of on-campus stuff. Now I’m moving into a new phase where my activism is more subtle – I’m working as a therapist, and so my social justice lens informs my treatment, especially of bi and trans people.”
What made you get involved?
“I can’t not be.”
How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?
“I feel like we made a couple strides, and every time that happens the attacks renewed. I hionestly think the constant attempts to divide the bisexual community into ‘good pansexuals’ and ‘bad bisexuals’ and ‘holy no-labels’ is the thing that’s most likely to screw us.”
What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?
“It is literally everywhere I turn – colleges redefining bisexuality on their LGBT Center pages, news articles quoting how ‘Bi=2 and pan=all therefore pan=better’, everybloodywhere I turn I see it every day. The word bi is being taken out of the names of organisations now, by the next group of up-and-comers who haven’t bothered to learn their history and understand that if you erase our past, you take away our present. Celebrities come out as No Label, wtf is that. Don’t they make kids read 1984 anymore? It’s gotten to the point now that even seeing the word pansexual in print triggers me. I’m reaching the point now that if someone really wants to be offended when all I am trying to do is welcome them on board, then I don’t have time for it.”
What do you want to say to other activists about this?
“Stay strong, and don’t give them a goddamned inch. I honestly think that the bi organizations – even, truth be told, the one I am with – are enabling this level of bullshit by attempting to be conciliatory, saying things that end up reinforcing the idea that bi and pan are separate communities. We try to be too careful not to offend anyone. Like the thing about Freddie Mercury. Gay people say ‘He was gay.’ Bi people say ‘Um, begging your pardon, good sirs and madams and gentlefolk of other genders, but Freddie was bi.’ And they respond ‘DON’T GIVE HIM A LABEL HE DIDN’T CLAIM WAAHHH WAAHHH!’ And yet… Freddie Mercury never used the label ‘gay’, but it’s OK when they do it. And he WAS bisexual by any measure you want to use. But we back down. And 2.5% of the bisexual population decides pansexual is a better word, and instead of educating them, we add ‘pan’ to our organisation names and descriptions. Now, this is clearly a dissenting view – I will always be part of a united front where my organization is concerned. But everyone knows how I feel, and I think it’s totally valid to be loyal and in dissent at the same time. Not exactly a typically American viewpoint, but everyone says I’d be a lot more at home in Britain than I am here anyway.”
#bisexual activism#bisexual activist#bi tumblr#bisexual tumblr#bisexuality#bi#support bisexuality#bisexuality is valid#bi pride#pride#lgbtq pride#lgbtq#lgbtq community#bisexual education#bisexual nation#bisexual rights#support bisexual#bisexual people#support bisexual people#respect bisexual people#bisexual injustice#bisexual justice#bisexual youth#bisexual women#bisexual men#bisexual representation#bisexual#bisexual community#bisexual facts#bisexual info
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I haven't made much of any personal posts here lately, and it's mostly because I've been too busy burying my feelings to be aware of them, and too busy living my life. Don't really remember what I posted here last time, but was probably either that bisexual coming out post or a gender ramble about identifying as a trans man again. So let's take it from there.
I intend to make a youtube video on this topic as well, in which I'll go more in depth, so I'll try to keep this short...er than usual.
For most of this year, I've been back to "presenting male" (i.e. not trying to pass as female again, and instead going with my "new" default which is that I just look like a dude) and for the past few months or so I've been back to labeling myself as a trans man again.
However, I still see myself as a woman deep down. I'm just terrified of facing the consequences yet again, of being open and honest about it, without detransitioning. Because I don't want to detransition anymore. Only re-identify. And I wanna go back on testosterone again simply because I felt better on it, and its pros outweigh its cons for me personally. It even feels like I was somehow healthier on it, actually. Or at the very least, testosterone has been very kind to me.
Also, I've been thinking lately that maybe I don't actually have any sex dysphoria anymore. Because I don't wanna be male anymore, and I've come to truly like being female, after overcoming my past trauma, which caused my hatred of being female to begin with. However, I also genuinely like my transition traits, which I always have, and cling on to them firmly. My discomfort with looking clearly female on a clothed surface level seems to be more similar to how any/most masculine women feel discomfort in dresses and makeup.
It's only dysphoria in the sense that it's a persistent and consistent pattern of comfort/discomfort with my gender presentation - NOT in the sense that I actually wish I was the opposite sex. And I'm actually grateful that transitioning can't take my female nature away from me, only change what it looks like. So, the reality of what transitioning can do, is EXACTLY what I want. Transitioning is not an escape from my sex; it helps me connect better, more positively, and more strongly to how great it can actually be to be female. It's just my strongly preferred presentation and social role. I do not wish to actually be male for real. So basically, I'm just gender non-conforming in an unconventional way. I've thought that thought many times before, but never quite managed to understand what it means until now.
I'd still prefer being able to continue presenting very masculine/male, but just declaring myself as a woman instead of as a trans man. Problem is though, that doesn't work particularly well in practice. Unless I wanna explain wtf I mean by "I'm a woman" while looking like a whole ass man, to every single person I ever meet. And frankly, I don't have enough spoons for that shit. No one fucking does.
I don't mind being seen as a man by default. The only thing that's missing is that I can't help but feeling like I'm not allowed to speak my truth in its full honesty, be vulnerable and real with people about myself. Not everyone needs to know how I see myself deep down, but sometimes I just want to be able to speak freely about things relating to me being a woman when that is relevant, you know. And believe it or not, that comes up rather frequently.
But I feel like I can't do that because people are only ever interested in debating whether I'm actually a real female or a zero effort trans woman, and question my reasons for living as a man. People don't have to agree with me or validate me, but what I can't understand is what's so difficult to understand about a woman choosing to live as a man? The only difference is that I choose to do it by medical means additionally to dressing and the social roles I take on. Because we have that option now in the 21st century.
The idea that I have to put in effort to even just be believed to be female... it upset me so bad that I basically started feeling that I can't ever talk of myself as a woman again, and have to keep pretending that I'm a man at all times, only because of the way I choose to look. Despite my female nature is a permanent condition, I feel like I'm often not allowed to reclaim my womanhood unless I desecrate my body first. I was flabbergasted by the astonishing absurdity behind that. It made reach out for the trans man label once again, but unfortunately I ended up hiding behind my same old lie a second time.
Because I was essentially bullied away from identifying with my own sex, because I wasn't performing womanhood "right."
How far am I willing to go for the sake of authenticity...?
To clarify, I'm not speaking of wanting any "right" to have others recognise me as a woman or to call me by she/her or any of that shallow shit - I'm only speaking of my wish to call myself a woman, and the extremely disheartening backlash that comes as a result of doing so. And how much I've debated with myself whether it's even worth it then. And I guess I've realised that it is worth it. Because I'd rather hurt from the other people's shit getting thrown in my face, than hurting myself. But I have no idea how to actually handle it in practice.
I feel a lot of shame about it, admittedly. I feel like it's shameful for a woman to look like me, let alone willingly. I've seen the frowns on people's faces after telling them, and I can't help but interpret their narrow mouths and upturned noses as expression of disgust at my character. And oh fuck it hurts so much, it sends me spiraling into dark places, until I can't stand my own reflection anymore. In my panic and desperation I then turn to other labels to call myself, to hide under and -protect- suffocate myself with.
Truth is I'm incredibly ashamed of being this extremely masculine, hairy and balding, as a woman. But I like it if I just don't think of myself as a woman. And it's not because I feel bad about the way I look. On the contrary... it's because I genuinely like the way I look, but society's standards on women eat away at my confidence.
Oh why does it fucking matter, it's just a label? You might be thinking.
I'll tell you why it matters:
I feel empowered and proud of myself, at being credited as a woman. But I feel robbed of that power and pride, when credited as a man. As though I am being over-shadowed by a lie which was put in place only for the comfort of others.
Because a man did not accomplish what I did.
A man did not struggle through the hell I lived.
A man did not learn to love himself after a lifetime of self-hatred, against all odds, to overcome what he hid.
A woman did.
It does make a difference whether I speak of myself as a trans man who grew up female and is happy with his transition, but no longer hates the nature of his biology - or if I speak of myself as a woman whose traumatic female upbringing brought her through a gender transition, which she now refuses to leave behind, just like her womanhood. Because it is those two aspects combined, that truly makes her shine. And I want to shine.
I hope that clears it up.
#detransition#transition#ftm#trans man#woman living as a man#dysphoria#gnc#masculinity#social backlash#difficult choices#re-identifying#reclaiming womanhood#gender expression#female masculinity#labels
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