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angelltheninth · 5 months

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Private Dimension of Pleasure

Pairing: Iso x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, power use, cock riding, kissing, enemies to lovers, teasing, masturbation mention, sex toy mention

Word count: 2k

A/N: His power is locking people up in a dimension with him... how could I not write smut with that kind of power?

One moment you were running towards him, guns blazing, dodging his own bullets and then just as you were about to tackle his smug self to the ground you didn't know where you were. It was a void of some sort, but you couldn't quite move like you wanted. And where was Iso? Also gone.

"Ha, you fell for that? Easiest trick in my playbook." You felt the cold metal of a gun press against the back of your head. "Maybe you're not the rival I thought you were. Sad, any here I thought I finally found someone interesting." His sounded so full of himself you wanted to turn around and beat the shit out of him. If only you could move as you liked, "Don't bother, this is my dimension, you move when I want you to, how fast I want you to."

You clenched your teeth, barely summoning the strength to turn your head and look at him. "Coward. If this is what you need to do to win then you're even more pathetic then I thought. When they talked about a new guy on the team I hoped it was someone better." Your taunts got to him for sure, his eye twitched and his smile faltered for a moment.

Of course he still compared himself to others. He was as you said, the new guy. Still learning the ropes of being an Agent at Valorant.

Iso floated in front of you, his many guns dancing around him, trained on you but the one in his hand was at his side. "Aren't you the same? Isn't that why you're going after the new guy? You wanna prove yourself, same as me."

"Don't flatter yourself Iso. I'm nothing like you." Why the hell was he leaning in so close? Why did he get that little smirk on his lips just now? You'd kill to know what he was thinking right now.

"You remembered my name." His voice was softer then before. "You've been thinking a lot about me haven't you? How scandalous of you." A warmth spread across your face and the tips of your ears, both in anger of his taunting and of what he seemed to be implying about you. Scandalous? He was one to talk.

"Again, you flatter yourself. I have much hotter guys to think about while I'm masturbating." You said that so confidently, like it was an own of some kind.

Iso's grin was wider when he heard that little confession, "Who said anything about masturbating? Get your mind out the gutter woman. I was talking about fighting. But I can't really blame you, people do seem to get crushes on me pretty easily."

As if he sensed your anger he let you surge forward but not for a headbutt like you intended but a very sloppy and angry kiss. He knew it, he could sense how much you wanted him, each time he pulled you in here and teased you and fought you he could sense your lust growing together with your anger. Today he thought he could satisfy both of those at once.

"You ain't as slick as you think." He teased as his thigh slipped in between your legs, "Oh my mistake. You are." You resented yourself for the moan that left your lips when Iso pressed against you. This was supposed to stay a secret from everyone, especially him. You couldn't help it, you wished otherwise but when you'd fight him you began throbbing, burning up, and later in your bed riding whatever dildo you got your pussy onto first to push these lustful thoughts away before your next encounter. "Do you want this? Really want this?" The guns around him vanished, leaving just the two of you in the purple hue of the void.

His voice was soft, just like his fingers which played with your pants but didn't push further. He was aware that in this place he was in charge. He needed you to say it, to know he wasn't reading the signals wrong and making a mistake.

"We'll both regret this if we get found out." You were enemies after all.

"Then it's a good thing this dimension if fully private. Now tell me, do you want this or not. Because in case you can't tell, I really do." You looked down and saw that Iso was cupping his bulge and how it twitched when you looked at it. "If not I'm letting you out of here and taking things into my own hands. Fighting you is fun and all but I think this would get in the way. Plus it's a really easy target."

Sure looks like it. The perfect target for you pussy actually, which was fully protesting at how empty it was right now. "Not a word of this to anyone, you hear me prettyboy. I may not know where you live but I have friends who can find out." You started pulling his zipper down as his hands pushed past your pants and underwear, playing and passing through your folds to circle your pussyhole and make his fingers wet. "Or if you tease me."

"How scary. I better not waste time then." Iso pushed your clothes down and onto the way, same with his own. "Ready?"

Instead of simply spreading your legs you pushed yourself onto him and wrapped them around his shoulders, his jacket digging slightly into your thighs. Iso let out a shaky breath when he felt your pussy rubbing up against his hard cock and up to the tip, "Now I am."

"Someone really wants this. Has it been a while since you had sex?" You got the sense that he wasn't asking to make fun of you but to gauge how fast he can take this. It was sweet considering Iso usually took every opportunity he could to tease you.

"Not since I joined my team. You?" Hopefully he wasn't already seeing anyone. He didn't seem like that kind of guy but who knows, anyone can make a bad judgment of character. Iso pretended to think about it for a good long while, or it might have been a few seconds, time was always wonky in this place, "Iso!"

"Kidding! I've been with a few people but not since I started thinking about you. Which was pretty much right after we first met. So almost as long as you. It's been just me and my hand." The same hand he was now pushing towards you lips, the one that teased you and just before that was pointing a gun at you. "Won't be just the two of us anymore right?"

"If you play your cards right it won't." You rolled your hips against him, trying to make the cock go in but it was tricky at this angle. You could look down but that would require you looking away from his pretty face and you didn't want that either.

Iso laughed at your enthusiasm. He balanced you against him with one hand, the other brushing its fingers over your lips, letting you taste yourself just a little but not pushing in. His cock pushed in though, inch by inch, twitching more with every little bit that was sheathed inside you fully.

"Way better then my hand." You certainly hoped your pussy was better.

"Your hands feel nice though. Surpassingly smooth for someone who wields guns every day." You wouldn't mind feeling his hands on you more often. "As for your cock, hm." You clenched your pussy walls around him, "I can say, much better then my dildos." If he was comparing then so would you, it was only fair that way. "But can it make me come harder is the question."

"You bet this sweet pussy that I can." Unfortunately he couldn't feel your nipples fully through his jacket and yours but he could tell you were arching against him as he started to roll his hips. The weightless state didn't allow for too rough of a thrust but each was just as deep s the last, his cock having the slightest angle and rubbing against your sweet spot perfectly. You pulled and guided him by his hoodie, his soft lips against yours, fitting all too easily. There was no one to hear you moan, just him, but you still felt the need to cover it up.

Iso noticed so he pried your lips apart with his tongue just in time with his thrust, savoring both the sound of his balls clapping against you as well as the sound of your moan.

He knew full well what he was doing, he didn't even mind you nibbling on his tongue, or how you narrowed your eyes at him. You couldn't care that much either when his cock felt so good sliding in and out of you, when his tongue made you go dizzy and his kisses made your lungs burn for air.

You moan into the kiss, sucking on his tongue when he pushes it in both of you lost in your lustful haze, drunk of each other, pulling, gripping, thrusting and riding.

"Feels good doesn't it?" He husks against your lips once the kiss is broken, "You feeling good from my cock?"

"You should be able to tell." You teased as he rolled his hips up again, grunting at the clenching of your wet walls, "But yes Iso, it feels so good. You're a good boy." You didn't even think much of it at first when you said it but the words seemed to strike a cord with him.

"Good? I'm the best one around." And he was determined to prove it right now. By making your pussy come around his cock. He wrapped his arm tighter around you, now pulling your bodies flush against each other, as close as they could get with the clothes still in the way. "Close aren't you? Your pussy's close to coming I can feel it. I'll make you come every time we see each other, so don't go around fucking anyone else okay? You promise?"

He wants you all to himself. You think back to earlier, how you hoped he wasn't seeing anyone, fucking anyone, it's the same, you really are just like him. "Promise I won't let anyone fuck me if you can do it instead."

There's but a single thought in his head right now, to make you come. He's so close, his moves are sloppy at best, his mouth hardly forming words anymore, promises and sweet whatnots for your ears only. His mind is solely focused on you. "I'll fuck you better than anyone. I promise baby. Let's see you come on my cock first, let me feel you even more."

He pumps his hips into you as fast as he can fire bullets, the weightless state no longer posing a problem because as he said, he is in control here. You feel tightness coiling in the pit of your stomach, you come so suddenly and so hard it makes you see white spots, and the hitch of his name making Iso go over the edge too, quickfire shots of cum filling you up.

Iso holds you close as you float there, entangled and breathing heavily into each other's ears. It was supposed to be bad how good this made you feel, how he, an enemy made you feel but there was no denying it after this, not even if you tried your headrest.

"Don't be late for the next mission okay? I want as much time with you as possible." You didn't even notice when he pulled out and set your clothes back in place. Must be a trick of his powers, wouldn't be the first time they caught you so off guard. "Make sure to land on your legs, not your face."

Precious seconds were all you had time for, the last thing you felt was his lips kissing yours before you found yourself falling onto the concrete floor where you tried to tackle him before. His cocky laughter echoed in your ears, making you remember why you hated him in the first place. If it weren't for the pleasant throbbing between your legs you'd hate him even more.

#valorant x reader #iso x reader #valorant x you #iso x you #valorant imagines #valornat fanfic #valorant smut #valorant iso #x female reader

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astroboots · 8 months

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EVERY YOU EVERY ME #15 - FINALE

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: All things end.

Word count: 3,400

Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss’ Masterlist

[Previous]

Traveling through Strange’s inter-dimensional portal is a different experience from going through one of Miguel’s. It’s less of a laser light show and more of a psychedelic drug trip.

Shapes and patterns warps in front of you, and the strength of gravity seems to press in against you from all sides as you fall upwards through an endless space.

You lose track of time. You don’t know how long you’ve been in here. It could be hours or seconds, but you can't tell the difference. Then it stops.

There is a gentle light ahead of you, and as you pass through it, the soft warmth of it trickles away. Then you find yourself standing in a familiar vast and empty space once again.

Staring into the far distance, the only thing you see is the blank whiteness ahead of you, just as jarring and endless as last time.

You clutch onto the pink-gemmed amulet hanging from your neck, gifted to you by Strange. A magical artifact that’s meant to help you keep your physical form in this space so you don’t fade away like you did last time.

Everything is static here, stale. There’s no air flow, no sense of temperature. The environment is neither hot nor cold against your skin, but somehow you feel an ever-present chill seeping into your bones.

Taking a deep breath, you start to walk forward.

You're shivering with each step you take. There's no sound under your step. No shadows cast under the soles of your feet.

"Boss lady,” Lyla pipes up, her hologram avatar hovering over your shoulders. “I really don't like this. Let's go back home, Beyoncé is holding a concert in Amsterdam! I got us front row seat tickets."

It's a valiant attempt, Miguel really did a great job coding her, but you’re not going back without him. Ignoring Lyla, you continue on your path.

There’s no sign of Miguel anywhere. It's all infinite whiteness as far as the eye can see, with no signs of an end.

The last two times you were here, you didn’t have a chance to gain an understanding of how big this space is. For all you know it could be as vast and endless as the universe itself. What if you’re stuck wandering in this place for an eternity and still never find Miguel?

You walk on, eyes roaming the space, and a dull ache starts to form behind them from staring at the glaring brightness.

There! Off to your left, you finally spot… something.

Your heart leaps in your chest as you clock a disruption in the blank whiteness. A tiny disruption. Or maybe it’s just far away? The emptiness of this place is hell on your depth perception. You veer in that direction, squinting as you approach, until you’re finally close enough to make out what it is.

In the middle of the vast nothingness, there is a tiny ball of crumpled up yellowish paper floating at knee height.

Huh?

Isn't this a complete void where nothing exists or can exist? Why is there trash here?

You squat down hunching over your knees until the little paper ball is eye level and inspect it closer.

The color and thickness of the paper is familiar. It looks like a post-it note that’s been folded in half, tiny, uneven triangles sticking out at each of the four corners.

How weird.

Crumpled as it is, you can see now that the crooked folds and creases aren't all random. Looking closely, there seems to have been a failed attempt of trying to fold them in a sequence but lacking the proper hand to eye dexterity to do it properly.

Wait, is this…? It must be.

You recognize it now. It’s one of your unfortunate attempts at an origami frog from when you were killing time with Miguel at your work. But what is it doing here of all places?

Tentatively reaching out, you poke at the piece of paper. To your surprise there’s resistance.

That's... odd.

There's nothing else here. Nothing holding it.

Just the failed paper frog suspended in thin air.

You try again, grabbing a corner of the paper this time, but the results are the same. It stubbornly refuses to move. When you tug, it jerks back, away from you.

Squinting your eyes, you lean closer and carefully observe the space in front of you.

Now when you’re paying close attention, you can just about make out a vague, almost invisible outline.

It’s barely there, and you can only tell because the blank whiteness in front of you seems to warp slightly with the smallest tremor of a movement.

Whatever this is, it really doesn’t want you to take your piece of trash back from it.

You frown in annoyance. This doesn't make sense. Why would your poor deformed paper frog even be here? The only people who even had anything to do with the stupid thing are you and–

"Miguel?"

The movement stills at your voice.

When you don't look away, it seems spooked by your gaze, shirking at the attention. The thing shifts in its shape, shrinking down like it's trying to make itself smaller.

You try to move closer, and the obscure translucent form moves away from you, gliding seamlessly into the empty space.

Without a shape it takes you a few moments before you register its movement and what it's trying to do. It's moving fast, as if it's trying to flee from you.

Because it is. Shit!

You run after it, guided by the vague hazy contour against the nothingness that surrounds you. Even without legs, this shapeless thing is moving fast.

"Stop!" you shout, "Stop, stop, please stop! It's me!"

You leap forward, grabbing at the empty outline in front of you, and to your surprise find purchase on the nothingness under your grip.

"Miguel, stop running!" you shout.

It does. He does.

There is something there now, a semi-invisible mass, slightly more opaque than it was a second ago.

You open your mouth to speak, but you don't know what to say. Don't even know for certain that this is Miguel or not.

But you hope it is. Have to believe it is. You’re too desperate to overthink it, and you spout the first thing that comes into your head.

"Come back, Miguel. Come back, and I'll take you back to that cheap Chinese diner you liked so much. We can get all the food you want, all of it deep fried! I'll even share the egg tarts this time."

You think you see something shift before you. It could just be your imagination, but the tiniest speck of color seems to emerge from within the translucent mass.

Somehow, whatever you’re doing must be working, and you quickly try to think of what else you can say that will tempt him to come back.

Food. Maybe more about food will work? It worked for you, after all.

"The Reese buttercups in our other apartment are all expired, but I think they'd still be okay to eat, and– and– And I'll make you cookies if you come back! Blue spiderman ones that match your suit."

The speck of color pops, fading into thin air, your fingers sinking further into the nothingness of his form, and a spike of panic stabs through your chest.

Why isn’t it working!? Was it not the food that made him react after all? You don’t know what else to try.

That first time you were here, Miguel was able to bring you back to yourself with the intimate details he knew from the other lifetime you two had shared. Maybe you can do the same.

"Your name is Miguel O'hara," you start, "and- and-" And then you have to stop, not sure of what else to say. "And your eyes are red... for some reason. And you have fangs! Fangs that can deliver some kind of fucking paralysis venom, which is completely ridiculous by the way!"

Nothing happens. There’s no change save for that the form underneath you squirms and tries to get away from your grip.

"And... and..."

Shit. This is getting you nowhere.

Unlike Miguel, you haven't had the front seat experience of living a lifetime together with him. There's only so much you know about him. Because that man is more secretive than a CIA agent.

You bite down on your lip in frustration.

"Goddamnit, Miguel! I barely know anything about you because you never tell me shit!"

The shape underneath you stops wiggling underneath you.

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes as you gather yourself, then you reopen them again, staring up at the upper part of the half-invisible shape like he's standing in front of you.

There's no point in trying to beat Miguel at a game of knowledge. You will never win. You never got to learn or memorize every personal and intimate detail about the man and his life. But there's one thing that you know beyond any doubt.

"I miss you," you tell him.

Strokes of soft colors streaks through the translucent mass at your words. A gentle blossoming spreads and you can see the opaque material reform inch by inch, until it vaguely resembles the silhouette of a body.

"I can’t even eat without you around, which has never happened to me before. I’ve been able to eat through food poisoning. But now the cupcakes from Gladis remind me of you and how you're not here, and they taste like cardboard."

He feels firmer somehow, more solid, and there’s even the faintest trace of warmth under your fingertips. Hope flutters in your chest at the change, and you tighten your grip on him.

“I miss you. More than I ever thought it could be possible to miss someone."

You can faintly make out limbs and shoulders, and the outline of a head.

"I miss falling asleep next to you. It's too quiet without your snoring, and the bed is too big without you there."

The body grows taller, and you can see the familiar tan of his skin now, the line of his jaw and the sharp angle of his nose re-materializing before your eyes.

"I miss watching you eat three dozen tacos in one sitting, scaring the tables around us. I miss having you with me and getting to talk to you, or even just sitting next to you doing nothing.”

You lean up towards him, raised on the tip of your toes, until you're up against him. “I just want you to be here with me. Please come back," you whisper into him.

Then he's there. Right in front of you, large and firm and warm as he towers above you, forehead pressed against yours, in your arms.

He’s here. Miguel is here.

His hair is a soft tousled mess. Eyes warm and hazy as he slowly blinks them open like he's just woken up from a hibernation while he gazes down on your face in an intimate silence.

It doesn’t last for very long. His gaze sharpens, blinking in rapid succession as confusion bleeds into his face. You can see the exact moment that consciousness and awareness fully return to him. Because he steps back from you, red eyes burning with an angry determination.

"What are you doing here?" he snarls at you.

Because of course he does. Of course anger is his first reaction at seeing you here.

"You can't be here," he says.

You don't even get a word in before Miguel reaches for your wrist.

"Lyla!" he barks out, and there’s a ping on your arm in response.

"Lyla, stand down," you command, smacking your palm over the face of the dial before the hologram can pop up. You already know that the next words out of his mouth will be a command to whisk you away again if you let him speak.

His lips twist into a frustrated snarl. Eyes glowing with that red fury that you recognize by now as the beginnings of an anger tantrum.

“Why don't you get it? I need to do this," he seethes, gesturing at the void, "I have to disappear. For your sake! It's my fault. I'm the reason you keep dying. I’m killing you!”

“That’s not true! You saved me! You caught me when I fell off the Chrysler building—twice!—and–”

“That doesn’t matter!” he snarls, rounding on you, “Don’t you understand!? You’re still going to die! If I'm with you, you die.”

There’s a moment of resounding silence, and you watch as the anger bleeds away from Miguel’s face, leaving something else in its place.

Something like grief.

“I can’t– I can’t do that again,” he says quietly, and he looks so sad that it damn near breaks your heart.

“Miguel…”

You don’t know what to say in the face of such raw and obvious grief. Until… suddenly, you do.

“Whether you're here or not, I could still die, Miguel."

Your words seem to hit him like a blow, and he flinches back, his eyes going round and liquid, open mouth quivering for a moment before it pulls right into a hard downturned line.

"Even if you were gone, there still wouldn’t be any guarantees," you say.

You brush your hand alongside his, trying to hold his hand in yours but he draws it away.

"You could save me by erasing yourself from existence and tomorrow a bus driver that isn't paying attention might hit me and I'd die anyhow," you continue, and he flinches visibly. "You can't control these things, and I would rather be with you and take the chance and be happy until it happens."

His hand balls up in agitation at his side. "I– I just don't want you to die again," he says, helplessness bleeding through every syllable of his words.

Your heart aches at his obvious pain. All you want, all you've ever wanted is to make that pain a little bit smaller. You step forward closing the distance between you, and he doesn't back away or move from you this time.

“Everybody dies. Regardless of what happens here I will too someday. But you’ve given me extra time. You did that. You saved me, again and again. And I’m so happy that you did. That I got to have that time with you. To share donuts with you in bed, or fold post-its frogs in the office."

His eyes close tightly, and he gives a slight shake of his head, grief and denial warring in his features. “None of that matters if you don’t survive,” he says quietly.

“You say it doesn’t matter, but it does, Miguel. Those moments matter to me. And even if we die here in this stupid video game loading screen, or if we make it out of here, but something else gets me, it will still matter to me.”

There's no telling if your grand speech is actually getting through to him because he's still not looking at you or meeting your eyes. You grab at his shoulder for his attention. It's all you can do to not shake him and rattle him until he accepts what you are trying to tell him.

"I want to be with you, and even if you can’t save me in the end, that's okay. I just want to be with you for as long as I can. However long or short of a time that is, I won’t have any regrets as long as I get to spend it with you. I told you, didn’t I? Every me in every universe would say the same, given a choice."

He doesn’t respond this time and part of you feels like you’re talking to a besieged wall. Reaching up, you cup his cheeks in your hands and pull his face down to meet your eyes.

“How many other universes are out there where those versions of us never get to know each other at all? …Thousands? …Millions? We’re the lucky ones, Miguel. We got to meet, and we have a chance against all odds. So what if it means we have to jump through a few hoops and universes to be together?”

His eyes open fully at your words, and lock on your face. You think you can see the cracks in his defenses. His hands unfurl and twitch at his sides as if he’s fighting himself to reach for you.

"I love you,” you tell him, and his lips part with a slight tremble.

You’re running out of things to say that can convince him now. The only thing that’s left is for Miguel to make the choice.

Your hand slides down from his face, and he looks distraught at the loss of contact as you take one small step back and away from him.

"Let's try to be happy this time," you tell him.

Reaching out your hand towards him, you try your best to smile through your nervousness, hoping that he is going to say yes to you this time despite his trademark stubbornness that you’ve come to love and hate sometimes.

Miguel looks at your hand, hesitation carved into every shade of red in those eyes. His hand flexes by his side, but doesn’t move.

He’s still unsure, and hope falls flat in your chest at the thought that he might very well make the choice to stay and destroy himself despite how much you don’t want him to.

But then he nods, and your heart begins to sing.

Tentative as it may be, his arm still reaches out towards you, fingers seeking out yours and he takes your hand.

"Yeah," he answers quietly. “Let’s be happy.”

Your smile grows wider, eyes watery as your vision blur around the edges when you look up at him. Happiness blossoming in your chest until it feels so full you think your ribs might burst from it.

You squeeze down on his larger hands in yours, to reassure yourself that he is really here, with you. And he is.

"Lyla," you say, and your watch pings at your command, before Lyla’s face lights up the space above.

"Good to have you back with us, boss," she says with a salute in Miguel’s direction. “Where to now?”

“Lyla,” he acknowledges with a faint smile and a nod, but he doesn’t look away from your face. "Do the thing. Take us home. Home-home."

Warm amber light rises up to surround you both, and Miguel pulls you into his chest. A kaleidoscope of colors explodes before your eyes, swirling around the two of you as he holds you in his arms.

You can't stop smiling at him, grinning like an idiot, as you tilt up to press your forehead to his.

Reality reforms around you, specks of navy-blue filling the large and vast sky. You're standing on the rooftop of a tall building surrounded by the skyline of brightly lit skyscrapers, a labyrinth of levitating bridges and streets laid out beneath. Floating vehicles buzz and soar through the sky like flamboyant dragonflies. Below your feet there is an ocean of dotted neon lights and colorful hologram billboards filling every inch and corner of the city below.

This must be Miguel's home dimension. What did he call it? Earth-3000-something? Nueva York, he said, and it certainly looks new—bright and fantastical, like nothing you’ve ever known before—but you only have eyes for the man in front of you.

Miguel pulls back slightly, squeezing down on your hand.

"So what do we do now? As long as I exist, the universe will still be out to get you," he says.

Despite the bleakness of the picture he’s painting, his eyes are soft and there’s something that sounds like hope in his tone.

You smile at him, eyes narrowing against the bright neon lights of the tall towering buildings around you.

"We live,” you answer, “Together. As long as we can. I hear you're some kind of genius scientist or something. I'm sure we'll think of something fun to do in the infinite multiverse."

“What do you want to do first?” he asks.

“Sleep.”

He's smiling at you, the corners of his fangs peeking out against his lower lip, eyes squinting in a way that makes him look almost boyish.

The sight of it makes your cheeks warm pleasantly and affection blossoms endlessly in your chest for him.

This isn’t the end, but if it were, it feels like it's a good one this time. Miguel walks out towards the ledge of the building, turning back to reach out his hand to you.

"Let’s go, Cielito."

[Nueva York, Earth 928-C]

The end.

Credit and Dedication: One final time, this is dedicated to @thirstworldproblemss who is my muse, my partner-in-writing-&-brainstorming, who makes writing so much more fun everyday.

And then of course. To everyone of you. We are finally here. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. I want to thank everyone who has followed along in this story this entire time. Writing Every You Every Me has been one of the most joyous writing experiences I've had. That is largely because of you guys! Thank you for every heartfelt feedback you guys have left here, thank you for coming into my asks, thank you for clicking that little heart on the bottom letting me know you've read it and for the lurkers who has followed along all the while, thank you for taking the time to read this story of mine! Having this audience has made me grow so much as a writer. Having your company while I wrote this has brought me so much joy. Reading everyone's reactions and theories has been a privilege that not a lot of writers get in the process of writing a multi-chaptered story. Thank you so so much.

I don’t have a tag list but please follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderverse #oscar isaac #across the spiderverse fanfiction #across the spiderverse #marvel mcu #marvel #miguel ohara fic #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #spiderverse fanfiction

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talks-with-the-void · 1 month

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Fluid kintypes - identity doesn't need to be static

I used to be a wolf, once. Not in a past-life sense, but in a therian sense - I was a wolf therian and then I wasn't. Sounds weird to you? I'm not surprised!

Something that I have repeatedly been told by other therians and otherkin is "you are what you are and if you find out you are something else - well, then you never were the first thing at all." Especially when I joined the community several years ago, I saw this statement everywhere. But let me tell you: it's not true. I had several different kintypes over the years (side note: we are plural and for the sake of this post I am simplifying some internal structure things. if you want the complicated details, feel free to ask! /gen), started as a wolf therian, then I was a cryptid, a dinosaur, a dragon and some kind of monster. Now I am Khhanivore (from Love, Death and Robots) and Mewtu (from Pokemon, Mewtu is the German spelling) - and a raptor kintype is coming back. (I am also a werewolf, but that's not a kintype, that's just Purely Me And My Whole Essence)

"Okay Istasha, but isn't that just questioning or maybe flickertypes?", you might ask. Fair point, but no.

I honestly never really questioned my kintypes - if I truly question something, it turns out to either be a hearttype or Nothing at All. As for kintypes, I just know - all of us just know what we are, it's like chilling and one day, suddenly, one of us is like "oh, I am a horse. alright, carry on" and that's it. Our kintypes stay with us for several months at least, theoretically they could stay forever but tend to change along the way - which brings me to the next point. They aren't flickertypes either. We only really get fictionflickers and sometimes animalflickers and those are extremely short and always tied to media we are currently consuming - they feel, technically, like kintypes to me. For example, if I watch a lot of Supernatural, I sometimes get an intense feeling of belonging there, of being a non-canon character, of being part of the story, etc. I am this non-canon character in that moment, I might even get pseudo-memories or shifts, but as soon as I don't engage with that show too much again, it instantly fades.

Our kintypes don't work like that. Take my re-emerging dinosaur kintype as an example. I was walking somewhere a few days ago and suddenly had a pahntom sensation in my legs and feet and in the same moment I knew "ah shit, new kintype". I gave it a day because maaayyybe it's nothing? But deep down I already knew what was going on, so I have an Utahraptor kintype now. I am this. I identify as this through and through and it feels like I've always been this way. But it wasn't - a week ago I wasn't a dinosaur and now I am. I did not choose it, I did not engage with any dinosaur media at all, it just happened.

My kintypes have always been changing and trust me when I say I had a complete identity crisis when my wolf kintype first went away. But over the years Ive learned to accepot it - my identy is not static, it never was and it never will be and that's okay!

It doesn't make my kintypes less important or less real and it also doesn't mean I never was a wolf. I was. And then I wasn't.

I honestly think it is so, so damaging to still have this "kintypes are static"-sentient floating around in the community, because that's simply not true for all of us. For me, it honestly even makes more sense this way. Our brain has always been unstable, I lacked a true identity for so long. We grew up with untreated BPD andf although the symptoms are 95% under my control now (read: it's in remission), our brain still has a ton of habits from that time, like clinging onto different things to try and form an identity, to try and fill the void where a person should be. And the fact that the void is filled now, that I finally am enough of a person to fill it, this habit never changed. Our brain still randomly grabs things and makes them one of us, leading to fluid kintypes.

Let me end this with saying: being wrong about a kintype is fine. Figuring out you are X instaed of Y and never were Y is fine. But it is also fine to be X today and Y tomorrow.

I think I've said this before but I'll say it again: we, as a community, need to take our identities less and more serious at the same time. Let's stop the gatekeeping and policing others, let's stop overanalyzing ourselves so much. Let's stop looking for rules and asking "is it possible to be this?" over and over again - because the answer is yes. There are literally no rules as to how, why and what you can be. In order to be otherkin you need to do exactly one thing: identify as The Thing in question. Nothing else. On the other hand, we need to kindly educate those who confuse identify as and identify with, we need to kindly educate young therians who "choose their theriotypes", we need to make sure we are not watered down to being "a fun thing you can do".

I sometimes feel like the focus and effort of this community is in good faith but in the wrong place - static kintypes is one of them.

There are no limits. Be who you are today and if you are something else tomorrow, be that then. <3

#alterhuman #otherkin #alterhumanity #nonhuman #nonhumanity #plurality #psychological otherkin #therian #fluid kintypes

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octoberscigarettes · 2 months

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soemtimes I wish someone who isnt a romantic partner would have cared for Ian enough. like ofc mickey cares immensely and I don't wanna discredit the good he does for Ian. But there are so many things in Ian's life where he needed care and love and reassurance from someone he is not romantically involved with.

being groomed from a young age, and nobody cared enough to see what's going on with kash, and when lip did, he did nothing. when Fiona and Jimmy Steve found out Ian was sleeping with Ned, nobody cared enough about Ian to help him. Instead it was all about Jimmy Steve and his man baby feelings about his dad being queer.

when Ian was crying about the aftermath of s3ep6 and s3ep9, Frank was heading a gay rights movement purely for his own gain, while Ian's siblings feasted on a gift basket sent to their house. Nobody wondered where Ian was, so he was sobbing in his bed, alone.

when Ian ran away to the army, his entire family just accepted it, the fucking Milkoviches were more worried about Ian than his own family.

when in s6 Ian doesnt know what to do with himself, nobody cares enough to show him that his life isnt over bc of his diagnosis. nobody cares enough to tell Ian that he still has options, that he can survive.

when Ian is heartbroken, nobody cares enough about it to tell him anything but "good riddance".

when Ian has a crisis of faith and loses himself in religion and mania, nobody cares about him enough to talk to him until its to late. nobody sees him enough to know if he is taking his meds.

In the Gallagher household Ian doesn't exist. Fiona and Lip are bonding and supporting each other (no matter how angry and misguided sometimes) in their role as the eldest. Debbie and Carl are looking out for each other, and Fiona and Lip always have an eye on them bc they're younger. Liam gets raised by everyone. But Ian just kind of floats around in the void, and while they all may love him, they don't notice him.

Lip and Ian are close, but they aren't caring for each other properly.

As long as Ian contributes to the squirrel fund and doesnt make a fuss, they dont see him.

And once his mental state gets bad they all sit around wondering why they didnt catch it sooner. But they never look.

I just wish that someone would see Ian Gallagher.

#shameless #ian gallagher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #shameless us #shameless meta #i just feel so sad for him #why is nobody SEEING HIM #JUST LOOK INTO HIS EYES

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arisuworld · 7 months

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THE VOID STATE : AN EPIPHANY

* ˚ ✰ — WHAT IS THE VOID STATE?

The void state is the state of pure consciousness. It is commonly referred to as the 'I AM' state in Neville Goddard’s work. "I am state" is a state in which you are a formless being. Time stops, and there's nothing but blackness around you. When you're in the void state, you're in a state of pure consciousness. You aren't in your body anymore. You're shapeless. Also, it's not scary at all. Instead it's very peaceful.

* ˚ ✰ — HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE?

Your faith is your fortune chapter 3: To accomplish this seemingly impossible feat, you take your attention away from your problem and place it upon just being. You say silently but feelingly, “I AM”. Do not condition this awareness but continue declaring quietly, “I AM – I AM”. Simply feel that you are faceless and formless and continue doing so until you feel yourself floating. This wonderful experience of rising and floating is the signal that you are absent from the body or problem and are now present with the lord; in this expanded state you are not conscious of anything but I AM — I AM; you are only conscious of being.

STEP TO STEP :-

1. Find a comfortable position.

2. Relax by taking deep breaths. You can also do any breathing techniques you like.

3. Take you attention away from the 3D and just focus on affirming “I AM” or “I AM PURE CONSCIOUSNESS” or “I AM IN THE VOID STATE.”

4. Persist till you experience floating feeling and the 3D fades away.

* ˚ ✰ — DIFFERENT METHODS TO ENTER THE VOID STATE

1. ' THE LULLABY METHOD '

Firstly, get into a drowsy, sleepy state. Not too awake, but not too sleepy. Like, when you can open your eyes but you don't want to. Then, affirm for your desires until you completely fall asleep, with your desires being the only thing on your mind.

2. ' SLEEP PARALYSIS '

Sleep paralysis is a quick and easy way to enter the void state. Sleep paralysis means when you cannot move your body AT ALL.

Don't worry, sleep paralysis is not scary at all. You won't see anything scary, untill you start thinking about something scary. Also, it's just hallucinations, nothing can you harm you. Always, remember you are in FULL control. You chose to give yourself sleep paralysis, and you can also come out of it if you want to! To get out of the sleep paralysis, simply wiggle your toes.

• Get into a comfortable position, and wait for your body to fall asleep, while keeping your mind awake. Do this by staying completely still and thinking of random things or counting numbers or daydreaming to keep your mind awake. Eventually, you will convince your body it is asleep.

Here are some ways to induce sleep paralysis:-

• You can listen to a guided meditation to induce sleep paralysis.

• You can listen to a subliminal.

• Affirm "i have sleep paralysis" in a drowsy state, and you'll wake up with it (basically, the lullaby method)

• Simply set the intention that you'll get sleep paralysis.

3. ' COMMANDING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS TO WAKE UP IN THE VOID STATE ’

You can command your subconscious to get in the void by simply stating “subconscious get me in the void quickly and easily” in a drowsy state. For this method to successfully work, stop knowledging the 3D. Stay committed to your subconscious, it only does what you say.

4. ' LUCID DREAMING '

Lucid dreaming is when a person becomes aware they're dreaming while dreaming. You can easily lucid dream by setting an intention. Set an intention and say to yourself that "tonight I will lucid dream". You can say it once or chant it like a mantra till you fall asleep.

Then when you realise you're dreaming, you can either create a portal with the intention of entering the void or ask someone to take you to the void.

5. ' YOGA NIDRA '

"Yoga Nidra means Yogic Sleep. It is a state of conscious Deep Sleep. In Meditation, you remain in the Waking state of consciousness, and gently focus the mind, while allowing thought patterns, emotions, sensations, and images to arise and go on. However, in Yoga Nidra, you leave the Waking state, go past the Dreaming state, and go to Deep Sleep, yet remain awake."

You can use a Guided Meditation that I linked here. After using the video, Start focusing on your Affirmations. You can say "I am void", "I am" , "I am in the void", and try to ignore all the symptoms and persist through them. Then within minutes you will be in the void state.

— HOW DO I KNOW I'M IN THE VOID?

YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE IN THE VOID WHEN:

• You are not in your room anymore

• It's pitch black

• You get your desires the second you exit the void.

• The outer world no longer exists. You can’t hear, see, touch, feel, taste anything.

WHY YOU FAIL TO ENTER THE VOID :—

• LACK OF PERSISTENCE : Just because you failed to enter the void state twice or thrice, doesn't automatically declares that void isn't real or that you can't do it. That's silly asf. It's like you're sabotaging your dream life yourself. Also, stop counting how many times you've failed and from how many months you've been trying. Don’t measure your experience with time. You control everything so even the time you take to enter the void is based on your assumptions.

• ASSUMPTIONS : Stop thinking that void is this magical place which will grant your wishes. You're assuming it to be something out of you, when it's WITHIN YOU. Also, entering void is not hard at all. Why would it be hard to reach something which is within you? It will be hard, if you think so. Just start creating assumptions in your favour. Start thinking like you would if you were a master at void. It's just LOA 101. Use it in your favour!!

• OVERCOMPLICATE : I've seen everyone overcomplicate the void state. The void state is simple and easy. All you need to do is relax & affirm. You don’t need any subliminals, meditation or special hypnosis to get you there. The void isn’t an external state. It’s internal. It’s within you. The methods or techniques don’t get you into the void, you do!! You shouldn't be looking for new methods all the time, instead start working on your self concept. It will change everything, i promise you that.

#manifestation #void state #law of assumption #manifestation blog #loa blog #manifesting #void #loassumption #loa #manifesation #i am state

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lendeah · 3 months

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The currents of destiny

Chapter 4: Light amidst the tempest.

Summary: In his final vision, Astarion witnesses a future alongside Tav, realizing that happiness can be found in unexpected places. He acknowledges his potential for redemption and contemplates whether this future is worth pursuing. Pairing: Astarion x Fem!Reader/Tav Word Count: 5.1k Tags: Heavy Angst, Psychological Trauma, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Psychological Torture (kind of), Emotional Manipulation, Verbal Abuse, but just chapter 2, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending.

a/n: tysm again to @tinystarfishgalaxy for helping me with this chapter <3

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[AO3 Link]

He didn't know how much time had passed floating in the void. Minutes? Hours? Days? All he knew was the deep whirlwind of confusion his mind had turned into.

After the visions, he was sure of one thing; he wanted Tav to be happy. She deserved to be with someone who could love her fully and without hesitation, unlike him. He couldn't bear to see her go through the same pain and heartache that he had caused her in the visions. The regret and longing for what could have been tugged at his heartstrings, but at the same time, he knew he didn't deserve Tav. He had hurt her too many times.

He sensed his body being pulled, but he felt so tired, so spent. He longed for release from the pain and exhaustion, to return to Tav and make amends for his mistakes before disappearing for good.

But in that moment, Astarion could feel his consciousness being tugged away from his body through the vast expanse of time and space.

Astarion jerked awake. For a moment, he was enveloped in darkness, his mind still lost in the void of sleep. Slowly, he focused on his surroundings - the softness of the bed beneath him, the intricate patterns adorning the walls, the gentle light filtering through the curtains. He was back in their suite at the Elfsong Tabern, where they had been living for months now. The room felt familiar and comforting, yet Astarion couldn't shake off the feeling of being in a foreign body.

As his eyes adjusted to the blinding light, Astarion's consciousness merged with his future self. He saw a small figure curled up against his side. Tav, her head resting on his chest as she slept soundly. Astarion watched himself gently brush strands of hair away from Tav's face, feeling a sense of longing and love for her. She stirred slightly but didn't wake up. He then traced the curves of her face with his fingers. She looked so peaceful and serene sleeping next to him.

I wish I could have this, he told himself, I wish this was real.

He longed for this moment to be real, to have her in his arms once again. The warmth of her body against his, the softness of her touch, and the sweet aroma of her presence overwhelmed his senses. He had missed her so much, and now she was resting peacefully in his embrace.

And he couldn't believe it. How could this be happening? What had his future self done to deserve this second chance? After all the pain and heartache he had caused her, she was here, forgiving him once again. The surge of guilt that flooded through him was almost suffocating as he remembered the vivid visions of their potential future. Though they may have been mere illusions, the thought that they were a possibility was enough to torment him.

Finally, her eyes started to open slowly, glancing at him from behind squinting eyes.

"Astarion?" she mumbled, still half-asleep, burying her face on the crook of his neck.

He felt an intense need in his future self, mirroring his own emotions. Astarion's arms encircled her in a tight embrace, pulling her closer to him as she nuzzled into his chest. He gently kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Yes, dear?"

"I had missed this... you. So much." Her eyes gazed up at him.

"My, aren't we full of our feelings this morning." the vampire chuckled, brushing aside her hair so that her face was fully visible to him.

"If you ever leave like that again, I will kill you with my own hands," Tav's voice broke as tears started to stream down her face.

So this must be briefly after my return, he thought to himself.

His body pulled her even closer, his arms tightening around her.

As Tav's words sunk in, Future Astarion's heart ached with both guilt and shame.

You don't deserve her.

"Darling, I won't leave you again I promise," he whispered, stroking her hair gently.

Tav's body relaxed against his, and he could feel her tears wetting his skin. He held her for a few moments before pulling back slightly to look into her eyes.

"What happened while I was gone?" he asked softly, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

Tav took a deep breath "We went looking for you everywhere. I-I thought we had lost you for good, I thought..." she gulps. "I thought you hated me..."

Astarion's heart ached at her words. How could she think that he hated her? How could he ever hate someone who meant everything to him?

"You know I could never hate you," he watched himself say quietly.

Tav pulled him into a tight embrace, burying her face in his chest again as she held back her sobs.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"Don't be sorry," Tav said, pulling back slightly to look up at him with tear-filled eyes. "Just promise me that you won't let your fears drive you away from me again."

Future Astarion nodded, a determined look on his face. And he knew that he could never leave Tav again; that he would do whatever it takes to make things right between them. But a small part of him felt selfish for wanting to stay. After all, by staying, he was preventing her from having a future with Shadowheart - a future where she wouldn't have to deal with his flaws and struggles.

"I'll never leave you again. You're stuck with me, for better or worse." he watched himself say, before leaning down to kiss her gently.

The world around him twisted and turned, the colors shifting and blurring as if reality itself was being altered. In a matter of moments, he found himself standing in a cold, dark hallway. It was big, with tall ceilings and old decorations, smelling faintly of humidity and dust. Astarion watched the scene unfold before him, his future self walking with purpose through the large hallway, as if he knew his way around here. A sense of familiarity filled his body as he followed the sound of voices echoing through the corridor.

As he turned a corner, he saw a door ajar, where the noise was coming from. Astarion poked his head, and he was surprised at the sight.

The room was filled with rows of bright-eyed children, all sitting at tables and eagerly learning from their teacher, Tav. She stood at the front of the room with a blackboard behind her, illuminated by the warm glow of sunlight streaming through the windows. Tav's radiant smile and confident posture commanded attention as she explained various concepts, her eyes sparkling with delight and passion. Suddenly, she turned her head and locked eyes with Astarion, her expression softening as she recognized him.

His future self perched on the door frame, as he listened intently to her lesson.

With a satisfied smile, Tav wiped the chalk dust off her hands and turned to face her students.

"Alright class, that concludes our lesson for today," she announced, causing a chorus of excitement and chatter from the students. "We will continue our exploration of Baldurian society tomorrow. And don't forget to complete your essays on the development of Baldurian culture during the 14th century!" Tav's words were met with a mix of groans and determined nods from her pupils, who quickly gathered their belongings and rushed out of the classroom, buzzing with energy.

The children filed out of the room while Tav slowly walked over to Astarion, her arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.

"Hey, you," she whispered, nuzzling her cheek against his. Astarion's heart swelled with happiness and he returned the hug, holding onto her just as tightly. He was filled with gratitude towards his own body for allowing him to touch and feel her once more.

As they broke apart from the hug, Astarion noticed a few of the students lingering around them with curious expressions on their faces.

"Ugh, Miss, is that your boyfriend?" one of the girls asked with a scowl, eyeing Astarion suspiciously.

Astarion watched with amusement as Tav's cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"She is actually my dear sister, whom I love dearly and definitely don't have any romantic interest in," he quipped, before planting a comically exaggerated kiss on her cheek. "But we do make an absolutely charming couple, don't you agree?"

The students' faces twisted with even more disgust and disbelief as they looked at the two of them.

"Ugh, gross!" another one of the boys exclaimed, making a face as if she had just tasted something rotten.

Tav looked at him with wide eyes, "Astarion! No, we are not related!" Tav playfully pushed him away before turning back to the kids. "Ignore him, he likes to think he's funny. He is my devoted fiancé."

Astarion's mind reeled at Tav's words. Fiancé. They were going to get married. He couldn't believe it.

She quickly composed herself and tried to change the subject.

"But enough about my personal life. It's time for you all to head home and get some rest."

The students reluctantly began to file out of the room once again, and Astarion couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as he watched Tav interact with her students.

Once the room was empty, Tav turned back to him with a grin.

"Tough crowd," he commented. "You could have played along my dear."

She shot him a disapproving glare. "I won't take part on you trying to traumatize my students, Astarion."

As they walked hand in hand through the hallways, Astarion couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment. He never would have imagined this as his future; Tav as a teacher?

"You were amazing with those kids," he said, breaking the comfortable silence between them. "I would have never pegged you as a teacher, though."

Tav shrugged. "I never thought about it until I started working at the orphanage after we defeated the Absolute. The children here were so eager to learn and I found that I really enjoyed teaching them."

"And that leads us to your favorite pastime; you get to sit and talk as much as you like." He teased, playing with her fingers."I suppose it suits you though, you always had a way with people. That's why you were our leader."

Tav chuckled at his words and squeezed his hand. "I suppose so," she said with a smile. "But you weren't bad either. Your complains were delightful!"

"Oh, I am simply the most charming man, I know, but you're a very close second." He teased, brushing his thumb against her hand.

By the time they left the orphanage, the sun had set and darkness enveloped the streets of Baldur's Gate. Astarion couldn't resist marveling at the city's stunning architecture as he and Tav wandered through the bustling streets. The docks were especially lively, with merchants calling out their goods, children running around, and the enticing aroma of food being cooked over open flames.

He hadn't felt this calm and content in what seemed like an eternity. It was such a strange sensation to him, but his future self appeared to be accustomed to it.

Astarion's gaze fell upon the numerous damaged buildings and scattered debris in the streets. Homeless citizens roamed about, a somber reminder of the destruction caused by the battle with the nether brain. Families torn apart, homes destroyed - it was a heartbreaking sight. But they had survived, they had endured and saved many, and that was all that mattered in the end.

"How has the shop been today?" Tav's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

Shop? What shop?

"Oh, you know how it is with noble women. These high-class ladies are always so annoying, nitpicking about the fabric not being silky enough, or the shade not being rich enough, or the hemline not being poofy enough... It's enough to make one go mad!"

Wait. His future self...worked at a clothing shop? The thought was almost comical to him. To imagine himself, a once notorious vampire assassin, working in a mundane shop catering to noble women's fashion needs.

Tav chuckled and shook her head. "Sounds like you've had your fair share of difficult customers."

Astarion scoffed. "You have no idea. Noble women can be quite... demanding."

"I can imagine," Tav said with a smile. "But I'm sure you handle them with grace and patience."

"Grace? Patience?" Astarion laughed at her words. "I handle them with biting remarks and sly insults. That's why they love me."

Tav raised an eyebrow at him but couldn't hide the amusement in her eyes.

"I suppose that works too," she said with a grin.

A moment of silence passed before she met his gaze once more, her expression softening. "You know, I am incredibly proud of you, Astarion. You've made tremendous progress. Despite the obstacles you face, you are the finest tailor in the city." She squeezed their entwined hands.

Her words caused his heart to constrict. Despite how he had treated her, she still believed in him. She was truly proud of the person he had become.

Future Astarion smiled, swooping his free hand to the night sky in a melodramatic flourish. "Why, my love, I am more than a mere tailor. I have transcended into an artist, a designer of dream garbs. These 'difficulties' of mine are only the chisel that sculpts my resilience." It was a showy display, but Tav's smile and gentle laugh told him she appreciated it.

"As bold as ever, Astarion," Tav said with an amused shake of her head. "Is this the same charm you've been using on your customers?"

"Flattery will get you everywhere, dear," he winked at her.

The sounds of the city seemed to gently ebb away as they continued to walk hand in hand through the candlelit streets. The echo of their laughter punctuated the silence of the night.

His body led them to a house by the docks. As they entered the unfamiliar surroundings, Astarion was taken aback. The place exuded an air of sophistication and charm. Art pieces adorned the walls, each one with its own unique story to tell. Trinkets and mementos from their travels were scattered throughout the space,

giving it a sense of warmth and character. And then there were the books - shelves upon shelves of them, overflowing with knowledge and stories waiting to be discovered. This was their ideal home, and the thought nearly brought tears to Astarion's eyes.

He had never truly had a home before.

She is your home now, he told himself.

As the heavy wooden door clicked shut, Astarion was already pressing his lips urgently against Tav's. She melted into him, her body fitting perfectly against his as they exchanged feverish kisses. His hands roamed over her back and hips, savoring the warmth of her skin and the taste of her lips. But just as he felt himself getting lost in the moment, he pulled away, catching his breath and trying to regain control. They stood there, foreheads pressed together, panting with desire. Tav's fingers lightly traced patterns on the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. He could feel her gaze on him, full of love and understanding.

And Astarion knew; he wanted this. Gods be damned what he had done in his other visions; he would do whatever it took to make this version of their life a reality. For her. For them.

Please, let me have this, he begged inside his mind. Let me be selfish, for once.

And as if hearing his thoughts, his body pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes, as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you," he whispered.

The vision shifted once more, pulling him again. As he settled into his surroundings, he realized it was the same room as before, yet it felt different. The air felt almost thick with energy, pulsing and alive.

Astarion blinked, trying to adjust to the new reality. Slowly, he surveyed his surroundings and saw that Gale was indeed sitting right in front of him. Next to him, Tav's grip on his hand was tight and reassuring. Astarion's gaze fell back on Gale, noting with surprise the signs of aging that had crept upon the wizard over the years - his hair graying and the wrinkles in his face deepening.

"...And I know this is only a start for the rest of the matters to take care of, far from a definite cure, but at the very least it's something." Gale was saying.

"It's incredible Gale. It's more than we could have hoped for already. Thank you." said Tav. Her eyes were brimming with tears, playing with the ring on his finger. Had that been there before?

He suddenly remembered that they had actually gotten married. The realization sent a flutter of butterflies through his chest.

But something caught her attention - why was it now sitting on his index finger instead of his ring finger?

"Thank you," Future Astarion spoke up finally, his voice filled with emotion.

And he was so confused. What was going on? Why was everyone emotional?

Tav just looked at him expectantly.

"Do you want to try it now?"

Try what?

His body smiled softly "Yes. I've been in the dark for long enough."

And with that, they got up from their seat. But Astarion's mind froze, because as he reached for Tav's hand, he saw...

No, it couldn't be.

But it was.

Tav was pregnant. Her belly had grown significantly, her tunic stretched to accommodate the new life growing inside of her.

He felt a wave of emotions hit him all at once; shock, disbelief, joy, and fear. He couldn't believe it. He was going to be a father. His body took him away, but he was still frozen inside his head. When? How?

His thoughts were interrupted as his body stopped at the doorframe of their home, sunlight pouring through the cracks. And he felt the intentions in his future self.

What are you doing?! You are going to get burned! he screamed inside his head.

But with one last look at Tav, Astarion's body ignored his desperate screams as he stepped out into the sunlight, a look of determination etched on his face. He braced himself for the usual sizzling and pain of being exposed to sunlight, but surprisingly, he felt nothing but warmth tickling his skin. His eyes squinted against the brightness, not used to so the light after spending so much time in the dark. But other than that, he was unharmed.

"Is it... Is it permanent?" He heard himself say.

"It is, as long as you wear the ring," Gale said from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Astarion couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was beyond anything he could have ever hoped for. He could finally walk under the sun without fear or pain. Tears welled in future Astarion's eyes as he looked up at the bright blue sky, feeling the warmth on his skin for the first time in years.

And Astarion was stunned. He could actually walk in the sunlight. They had found a way. They were looking for the cure.

"This... this is a miracle," he whispered, his voice filled with awe and gratitude.

Tav and Gale smiled at him, their own eyes glistening with tears.

She took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as she smiled at him. "I'm glad we could give you this gift," she said softly.

Gale nodded in agreement. "It's been a long journey and my contentment for your newfound liberation knows no bounds," he said with a proud smile. "Fear not, for I shall not cease my pursuit until the antidote for vampirism is discovered and obtained. My solemn vow is sealed upon my very existence."

Astarion couldn't find the words to express how grateful he was. He had been so angry and bitter for so long, this just felt like a new beggining.

Could this be really true? A future overflowing with joy and love, where all of his deepest desires were fulfilled. It seemed too good to be true, but he couldn't help but hope that it was.

Tav squeezed his hand again, as if hearing his thoughts. "You deserve this, Astarion."

"Thank you," he whispered, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

As his fingers grazed over the small bump on her belly, Astarion's heart swelled with pure joy and wonder. Gently, he rested his palm on her stomach, feeling the tiny life within. His ring, newly acquired, seemed to glow in the soft light of the room.

As the vision blurred once more, Astarion's mind struggled to process the overwhelming information. He could walk under the sun. Tav was pregnant. The world around him seemed to spin as he tried to make sense of this new version of his life, opening just for him.

He let out a gleeful light into the void, butterflies dancing inside his chest. He couldn't imagine anything else that could bring him more happiness than what he had just witnessed, but he eagerly allowed himself to be drawn in once again.

The space swirled around him, morphing into a different setting. He was now standing in a vast meadow, the warm sun beating down on him. And he froze, as he watched a small figure running towards him, their laughter echoing through the air. The figure became clearer and he saw a child, a small child with locks of hair as white as snow cascading down their back.

Astarion could've cried at that moment. Could've ripped the strands of time and space that locked him inside his body to reach out to them, to truly be able to hold his child.

As they came closer, Astarion could see the child's features more clearly; they were the perfect blend of him and Tav. It was a girl. Her vivid eyes twinkling with mischief were a reflection of his own, but her high cheekbones and determined chin were all Tav.

She is gorgeous.

"Daddy!" The little girl shrieked as she wrapped her little arms around his waist. Astarion's body hugged her back, and he felt his heart swelling with love like he hadn't felt before. If he had a heart, he was sure it would be bursting. He couldn't believe this was real. He had a daughter.

"Hey there, my little star," Future Astarion said, gently ruffling the child's hair."Did you give your poor mother a hard time today?"

The girl looked up at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Me? Give Mommy a bad time? Never!"

Suddenly, a soft voice called out to them from behind.

"There you two are," Tav said as she approached them with a picnic basket in her hands. "Luna didn't help me with the preparations. She is almost as lazy as his father."

Astarion's gaze shifted towards her, and he felt his breath hitch in his throat. She looked radiant, her skin glowing with a soft sheen under the sun. Her hair was longer now, falling in loose waves down her back. Although there were signs of aging - hints of gray in her hair and faint lines on her face - she was still as gorgeous as the day he met her. In that moment, he longed to hold her close and kiss her once again. To thank her for giving him this amazing life.

Tav's hand reached up to his cheek, and the touch sent a wave of warmth through him. His body leaned closer to her, as his heart tightened in response.

"Hey there," she said softly, her eyes filled with love and adoration as she looked at him.

"Hello, you," Astarion replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tav smiled at him before turning to their child. "Come on, little star, let's have a picnic by the river."

The three of them walked hand in hand towards the nearby river where they laid out a blanket and set down the picnic basket. Luna immediately ran over to the basket and started rummaging through it. Astarion watched fondly as she pulled out sandwiches and fruit, her little face scrunched up as she tried to decide what to eat first.

Tav noticed Astarion's gaze and smiled at him. "She has your appetite," she said teasingly.

Astarion chuckled and shuffled closer to where Tav was seated on the blanket. "What can I say? I am a very hungry man," he quipped, nipping playfully at her shoulder to emphasize his point.

Tav laughed. "Well, luckily I have enough blood for you."

"And I can't wait to drink every last drop." He purred as he inched his way towards her neck, his lips brushing her skin.

"Ew! That's so gross," Luna exclaimed, recoiling with a look of disgust on her face, and quickly made her way towards the trees nearby to get away from them.

Astarion groaned in mock irritation as he pulled away, looking up at Tav with a pout. "Our little one is a killjoy, isn't she?"

"I wonder where she gets it from," Tav replied, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "Certainly not from me."

Astarion let out a playful huff, his heart warming at her teasing. "You wound me, darling. "

Tav reached out to cradle his face in her hands, her thumb tracing the edge of his lips. She smiled sweetly at him, her eyes filled with love and adoration.

Before Tav could respond, Luna came rushing back to them, brandishing a half-eaten apple and a handful of wildflowers.

"Loo th wha' I found!" she exclaimed with a mouthful of apple, thrusting the flowers under her parents' noses. "Aren't they pwetty?"

"They are absolutely beautiful my dear, you certainly have a good eye." Astarion replied fondly, taking the flowers from her small hands and tucking one behind her ear.

"Is it time to play 'monster' yet?" she asked with excitement.

"Absolutely! I'll be the vampire, ready to sink my teeth into you," Astarion replied, winking at her.

As Luna darted away with a scream, Astarion lunged after her, baring his fangs in a playful snarl. She squealed with delight and scampered around the blanket, narrowly evading each of his lunges. Tav watched, a soft smile on her lips as she reached into the basket to pull out another sandwich.

As the sun began to dip behind the rolling hills, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, they all collapsed onto the soft grass. Luna nestled between her parents, catching her breath as she giggled at Astarion's dramatic recounting of his failure to catch her.

"Perhaps you're losing your touch," Tav suggested playfully, her fingers tracing patterns over his chest.

Astarion scoffed at that. "Never. But I certainly seem to have lost my appetite for chasing after little rascals."

They packed up their things and made their way back home. Astarion carried a tired Luna on his shoulders while Tav walked beside them, holding onto his hand.

"Can we do this again tomorrow?" Luna asked sleepily, her head resting on Astarion's shoulder.

"Of course, my little star," Tav replied with a smile.

Astarion couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with love and contentment as he looked at his family. He had never thought he would have something like this - a loving wife and a beautiful daughter - but here they were, walking towards their home in the forest. And it felt so real he almost let himself believe it was true.

Once they reached their house, Astarion put Luna to bed while Tav started preparing tea. As he tucked her in and kissed her forehead, Luna murmured sleepily, "I love you, Papa."

"I know," Astarion chuckled, leaning in to whisper in her ear. "And don't tell anyone, but I love you too."

Luna's sleepy smile turned into a wide grin as she giggled, her eyelids drooping as she drifted into a peaceful slumber.

He made his way to the kitchen where Tav was busy making tea. He walked up behind her silently and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned back against him with a soft smile on her face.

"This has been the best day ever," she murmured.

"We have many more of those ahead of us," Future Astarion replied, nuzzling into her neck.

As he watched the display, Astarion couldn't help but feel hopeful for everything that he could have - a loving family, a home filled with warmth and laughter. He had finally found his happiness after centuries of darkness. And he couldn't help but think that maybe this was what it meant to truly live. To truly fight for a better future.

I want this future.

But could he ever have this? Would he be able to make amends for his past mistakes and pave the way for this to be his destiny?

He didn't know. But one last look at his future wife blissful face told him enough; it was worth the try. Even if he only got to taste a sliver of what he had seen, it would be worth the effort.

He felt the vision ripple and fade, but this time as he came to, he found himself not back in the starry void, or the body of another version of himself. Instead, he woke up on the beach, with G'Axir standing next to him.

The crash of waves rolled rhythmically in his ears and the salty, tangy scent of the sea filled his nostrils. He squinted up at the dawn that was now coloring the sky. Astarion pulled himself into a sitting position, his bare chest dusted with sand grains that glittered like tiny suns under the setting sun’s glow.

"The hourglass turns, sands slipping through fingers... the choice yours to make... the consequences yours to bear." G'axir said.

Astarion felt a shiver run down his spine as he tried to unravel the meaning behind the seer's words.

"What must I do?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his heart pounding with a mixture of fear and determination.

The seer's gaze seemed to pierce through the veil of time itself as they replied, their tone solemn yet resolute. "Forge your own path... for the threads of destiny bend to the will of those who dare to defy its grasp. The balance hangs in the balance... and only you hold the key to its unraveling."

Astarion nodded, feeling a newfound sense of determination brewing inside him. He stood up, dusting off sand from his clothes before turning to G'Axir once again.

"I am willing to do whatever it takes," he said firmly.

And G'Axir smiled approvingly before disappearing into thin air like a mirage.

Tag list: @tinystarfishgalaxy, @imaginarypetlizard, @nanamisfriedstick, @stuckinaoaktree, @madislayyy, @cosywinterevenings, @fandom-garbage, @generalstephkenobi @ravenswritingroom

a/n: Not proofread, but I will do it as soon as possible! Thank you for the amazing support on this series, I can't believe we only have one chapter left! Also, sorry for the long ass chapter, but I needed some hard fluff after all the angst. Love you all!

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#astarion ancunin #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #astarion x reader #bg3 #bg3 fanfic prompt #bg3 tav #astarion x tav #astarion fanfic #baldurs gate fanfiction #baldurs gate 3 #astarion baldurs gate #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #fanfic #astarion x you

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odusseus-xvi · 8 months

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It's really funny how you consider the two characters that are hiding what they truly are and how different they are about it. (only cc Bad confirmed q!Bad is hiding things, but there is no way q!Antoine's a human come on) :

On one hand there is q!BBH, who acts (for the most part) like an actual normal person would. There is only hints that he is a demon that he leaves here and there : Telling stories as old as time, being overly obsessive about Skeppy. His skin being a bit weird etc. And yet everyone knows he's something similar to a demon. Nobody if you asked them would say he is human. Ironmouse immediatly after meeting him "Oh hey you are a demon right ?" "What !!?? No !"

On the other, you have q!Antoine, who is constantly like, "What do you mean I have to wear clothes ?", "Three faces ? I have four actually. There is a reason I'm not showing the last one." "Where are my back nipples !!??", *Floats ominously*, *lives inside the moon.* "Oh yeah don't fall into the void surrounding my base, you are not coming back from that", "Well it took ME 25 years to get my nipples, you know 25 years is nothing compared to the age of the universe." and will still say "hello I am a H U M A N". And everyone knows he isn't, but everyone is also like "but what the fuck IS he then ?".

Also fun litlle thing just partly related that I wanted to talk about, up until two days ago the two had barely any interactions outside of tidbits, but then two lives in a row Antoine ended with an hour or more of chilling with BBH, first rebuilding the ring around the moon and the school, and then exploring with Ironmouse as well. And I don't know, I just enjoy their dynamic, when they are together they aren't talking or discussing all the time, it's even silent from time to time outside of talking to their respective chats. Just chilling and working on something together, and it's relaxing. And both times antoine ended by saying he enjoyed it. (Bonus : He was suprised when BBH asked him to help him repair the school, and said he was happy to help on something else than his own builds for once.)

#qsmp #qsmp antoine daniel #qsmp antoine #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bbh #qsmp ironmouse #cryptrio #qsmp cryptrio #that's how I'm calling them from now on #including Ironmouse because they were fun yesterday all three

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ziauhh · 2 years

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Secret to the void

---------------------------------------------

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Well this should have been the basics to the void but as y'all love to overcomplicate things the basics took place of the secrets. What i mean is that the points i am about to tell y'all aren't some fancy stuff, it's just some simple rules and if you follow that there is no goddamn power in this world which can stop you from entering the void. Just do as i say and BOOM you are -

"In the void".

So here we go MF'S :

The problem

Before i start with the method i want to clear few things. These are the normal cause or the problems people face which leads them to the failure to void.

Y'all really think about it 24/7 that eventually you get to a point where you start doubting it .

Void isn't anything external it's within "YOU", it's "YOU". The void is simply pure consciousness where you are GOD that's why whatever you affirm, visualise or believe becomes true.

Another misconception is that you have to work on your self-concept or you have to assume that "void is easy" not at all honey you don't have to do all this, like why would you assume something which is already a fact.

The sky is blue it isn't green, purple or brown because it's a fact we don't have to assume it .

The sun rises from east because it's a fact.

We live on earth not on saturn or jupiter as it is a fact.

We are humans not animals or plant Do we have to assume this ?

Then why would you assume for the void, it's already a fact It is Easy. You don't have to assume it baby .

The solution

Now as we talked about the problems let's get to the solutions. Well to get into the void you only need one thing and that is "Peace of mind" yeah that's all and you can get it by following ways:

Step-1: Lay down and relax your body, imagine you are here for a body massage and they told you to relax .

Step-2: Now i would recommend you to listen to a meditation although it's not compulsory but to calm your mind it's the best thing you could do, it can be a guided meditation, frequency or some calming music. Personally i like to listen to this meditation ( do check out the comments for fun ) when you listen to it calm your fucking mind down if any thoughts come let it go and if you find it hard , just focus on your breathe.

Step-3: Do this meditation until you feel totally calm, when there are no thoughts in your mind start affirming 'I am void' and repeat it again and again make sure to only focus on affirmation . Within 2-3 min you will get the floating feeling but again don't focus on it (its still okay if you don't get symptoms, you will still get into the void).

Step-4: BOOM you are in the void yah it's that easy honey! Now affirm for your desires and there you go live your motherfucking life.

Step-5: Now as you know you have manifested all your desires either you can check them out or go to sleep ( i went to sleep as i am a lazy fucking ass lol! :)

How it really works?

I know it was easy af . Now it works because you listened to the mediation and it calmed your mind and that's all you need to enter the void once your mind is calm and you affirm for void your mind instantly got you and takes you to the void. Whereas on the normal days there are millions of thoughts going in your mind or maybe in the background which you don't realise and hence you never end up going there.

That's why i say you never need a good self-concept, persisting, living in the end or assuming to enter the void. Because void is your "GOD STATE" and do you think to enter your 'God state' you need to do any of these NAH! so now shut the fuck up and go do what i said and the next thing you'll have is your dream life bruhh!!!

Quick note:Do share your success stories with me i would love to read them :)

I love y'all

✨XoXo✨

#self concept #law of assumption #manifesting #spirituality #positivity #void state

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moosieart · 4 months

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(MAJOR SPOILERS FOR GOTHAM KNIGHTS GAME, specifically the Labyrinth)

An analysis of the Labyrinth and the BatFam

(In other words this post is really long)

So, I was doing some research on the Labyrinth for my fic (Silent Hearts and Silent Knights) and I found something very interesting regarding each BatFam members experience from Gotham Knights.

I'm using Rubi's video compilation of characters as my reference, I played as Tim in my play through and it's exactly like this video's Tim so I'm going on the assumption that there are no other possible outcomes.

Here's my keynotes for those who don't want to watch the video.

(I would like to say that due to the fact it is a game, some things aren't concrete. Rubi just goes back and forth in certain areas to trigger stuff whereas I just went under things to continue on.)

Things that happen regardless of the character (I call this the Beginning Sequence):

Character wakes up and starts walking, making various little comments. (Anything notable will be put under said character)

Character runs into spikes on wall, dies and wakes up (If you duck under the spikes the character will not experience this)

(Female voice) “Inside of Gotham’s walls…”

(Male voice) ”Rule you one and all…”

Character enters the "Flame Room", a small puzzle requiring you find the right path out.

(Voice of the Court) “Give up, it would be.. So much easier”

Character immediately hits a dead end and turns around only to find a different path then before.

Character enters the "Rotating Spike Room", which is pretty self explanatory: three large spinning columns with an assortment of blades that the Character must find a way around.

Bruce's voice expresses disappointment in the Character. (I can't remember if at this point if it's same thing said for each Character, but the point is the same)

Character stumbles, clutching head as they approach the first room (This is something every character does entering a "Major Room" moving forward)

Now, this is where things get interesting because the order and experience is different.

Somethings I want to quickly point out that are the same for every character in this section, which is certain rooms I like to call predetermined sets (all have two passages, left and right, but from my understanding they lead to the same thing):

Table Room: room is a half circle table with three dead court members wearing suits, candles and scrolls on the table, it's covered with spiderwebs and blood appears to be on the floor, and two statues behind them. A moth is floating around one of the candles. Laughter starts when character enters the room

Phonograph Room: room has two green armchairs with a table in between them and a floor lamp behind the left chair, a red circular rug with the Court logo in gold is under all this. On the small side table is a phonograph that plays old distorted instrumental music. The music echoes and distorts even more as you walk away (I wasn't paying to close attention but I think the song is different for each character, or at least a different part of the same song is played.)

Computer Room: room is bathed in red light. Its a rather large computer/monitor set up, reminiscent to the set up in the Belfry and the tech hums, images of Court members with a red filter. A dead Alfred sits in a chair near the set up. After examining the body it disappears in a puff of smoke and ash.

Here is each character's experience:

Jason:

Jason need’s a moment once he stands up before letting go of the marble slab (they all wake up on), also mentions it smells but never can identify what it is.

After the beginning sequence he enters the Table Room.

After leaving the Table Room he had a weird vision of himself dropping from the void ceiling floating towards himself in the air choking, then floats back and then up into the void ceiling.

Enters the Phonograph Room, after leaving the room Bruce's voice says something rather mean to him (I can't remember anything Bruce said to each of them, but it wasn't nice. Ya know, the whole point of this place)

Enters the Computer Room. After leaving the room he has a vision of himself “teleporting” around, pointing his hand at his head, maybe a gun? Disappears into smoke and ash when walked through.

Enters a room bathed in green, sees a Lazarus pit, sees himself in normal clothes rise out of it with a crowbar which he raises above his head and starts attacking Batman. Court Members actively encourage him to kill stating they are the same, Real Jason says they're not. Vision characters disappear but the pit stays.

Barbra:

After the beginning sequence enters the Phonograph Room.

After leaving the room sees herself (maybe wearing a court mask) randomly teleporting towards herself, tilting head creepily before disappearing.

Enters Computer Room.

After leaving the room Bruce's voice says mean things.

Next she enters a room where Bruce’s grave is open, bats fly out of it and his voice calls out that he needs Batgirl for help.

After exciting this room she see's Batman's body get dragged around a corner, but we never see who does it.

Bruce's voice says some more mean things.

She stumbles into Gordon’s old office, Gordon complains about Batgirl. There’s a recording of Gordon’s death on the table, Babs feels guilty for not being there.

Dick:

After the beginning sequence he enters the Phonograph Room.

After leaving this room he see’s himself just fall out of the void, like his parents. His vision body is very dead and disappears when walked through/by.

Immediately after there’s the broken Bat signal, GCPD officers crying out that the city is falling and wonder where Batman is.

He then enters the Table Room.

After leaving the room he see’s a vision of himself being creepy/ kinda teleporting around, like Babs.

Stumbles into the next room, see’s his dead parents at the circus. Interestingly when they disappear they leave behind Court masks (maybe this refers to Dick’s own hidden ties to the Court)

Tim:

Tim is the only one straight up fall after waking up and trying to stand up, he is also the only one to explicitly state that is smells like death.

After the beginning sequence he enters the Table Room.

First vision is also of him creepily teleporting around, but unlike Dick and Babs, his version walks past him then dissolves. D and B’s versions forced them to walk through their visions. T's forced itself through him.

He then Enters the Computer Room.

After leaving the room he has the same Bat-signal vision as Dick.

Vision of himself kinda twitching and glitching on the floor before becoming limp and disappearing.

Enters the next room where the Robin suit is an a locker covered in cobwebs and "Wanted: looking for new Robin" posters. Bruce's voice is stating that he wants a Robin that's anyone other then Tim.

(I think I forgot it in a couple places, but every character experiences Bruce saying mean things)

And lastly every Character after their last vision sees Bruce stumble around a corner and disappear before starting the leaving the labyrinth sequence, which is the same for all of them.

So, here's my interpretations for all this. Specifically with how the Court plays on each of their fears:

Babs: When she became too injured to be Batgirl and became Oracle. They play on her fears about how she couldn't be there, even though it's not her fault. Mainly focusing on her dad.

Dick: Falling, literally. Failing both his parents and Bruce.

Tim: His fears about what Bruce thinks of him, about his place as Robin and his place in the family.

Jason: Here's where it's really interesting, Jason is the only one to have only one extra "room/vision" aside from the base ones they all experience. The Court tries once to hurt him with the Pit, and Jason firmly says that he's not that anymore. The court no longer tries after that. The others try to fight anything said, but rather weakly and they half believe it. Not Jason, he firmly says no. It's like after his death his fears aren't something the Court can understand or replicate.

I think it's also interesting how Tim differs from the others in some of the basic interactions, which I've already stated.

Anyways, it's rather late the time I'm writing this, but I thought it was really interesting. The developers could have stuck with the same base with only minor changes for each character, but they went pretty far out. It's one of the things that makes me love this game.

#dc #batfam #batman #robin #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #barbra gordon #jason todd #tim drake #red hood #batgirl #gotham knights game #gotham knights #game analysis #the court of owls #court of owls #the marble labyrinth

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