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#eternals x reader angst

apparentlytheproblem · 8 months

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if was your boyfriend, never let you go keep you on my arm girl, you'd never be alone

druig recomendations

perfectly busy - @tokkiotears

lemme just say, HUSBAND DRUID OML. and I'm just a sucker for a confident and king Druid behavior. absolutley adoring this to no ends, smn send help, I forgot how to function. the not really complete without you got me. oh god. just o h g o d. i just feel like i should comment on the narrative, it was so well done and just hit the spot i didn't even know I had.

warnings-

not proofread, annoying men, druig in a button-up with the sleeves rolled up

"this isn't over" - @peterparkersnose

bro this slapped in so many different levels, like excuse me. And druig who shares books and annotates? and smug druig? godamn. the sexual tension- smn keep him away from me before i fall in love.

warnings-

angst, privacy invasion, accidental nudity, sexual tension, falling in love with something you could never have-?

sunshine - @itsapeterthing

firstly, i fell in love with the writing, its so stunning. it has such a fun and flowery vibe surrounding it which makes me just gush oml. it was just so sweet. AND how he gets flustered- literally hit all my marks and exceeded them. i hope you never stop writing these, they make my soul lighter.

warnings: eternals insulting druig as always, fluff

how could they not know? - @saintlike78

to start of, i love a vocal man who can tell you that he missed you. the scene itself was so soft. just love sick druig running back to your arms and you're wearing his shirt mwahh. i find it hilarious how no else has even noticed this happening before, my oblivious fools. its so adorablee.

warnings-

nothing but fluff really, dialog heavy.

hold - @redheadspark

bro, my love, angel, the gif itself got me a blushing mess, you have no idea what the fic did to me sheesh. i love a man who was so acceptable about her fear and so re-assuring, that's so perfectly written. i also love how the author has written these thoughts in her head as well as the internal debate. it just left me in awe i swear.

warnings-

Just a hint of angst but mostly fluff

warmth - @stranger-nightmare

these are one of my favorite's that I've encountered. the end was just lovley. Just the plot of this drabble has me on my knees. it was wonderfully thought and wonderfully written. the author has left no crumbs.

warnings-

one case of swearing, a lil bit of fluff, a whole lotta angst, nakedness but it’s not in a sexual way

boyfriend headcannons - @luventi

just a bunch of head cannons which i thought were amazing. overall its just so cute and has me screaming, crying and throwing up. honestly very underated.

warnings-

druig x gn eternal!reader, au where everyone is alive and happy and together, there will be dashes of suggestive content admits all the fluff so be warned!

shy lover - @writing-wh0re

[ it didn't have a title so I gave it this, I hope the author doesn't mind]

felt that this was just a must included, i don't wanna really have to summarize this cause there wasn't a single line that did not fail to have me hypnotized. just lovley work

warnings-

Smut18+, Unprotected Vaginal Sex, Male Performing Oral, Praise Kink (both), Begging Kink (?), Slight Cocky Druig, Cum kink (?)

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rk1stars · 26 days

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WE CAN’T BE FRIENDS ( PART TWO )

-> part one

IN WHICH..

As you erase your memories of Sunghoon out of anger, a sense of regret slowly creeps in during the procedure. Despite your initial determination, doubts begin to surface about whether this is the right decision. As you make your way to his apartment, uncertainty gnaws at you. How will Sunghoon react when he sees you? Will he be surprised, angry, or confused? The thought of facing him fills you with anxiety, but deep down, you know you have to see him—one last time.

PAIRING & CATEGORIES

ex husband! Sunghoon x gn reader, second chance, divorced to lovers, angst?, fluff

CAUTION

force, kissing, skinship, crying, NOT proofread

STAR’S DIARY

I wrote this at midnight

TAGLIST

@cholexc @yyawnjun @rosas-in-the-garden @allforhee @ilovejungwonandhaechan @ifuckedheeseung @jooniesbears-blog @niki-the-genius @lilyuwon @ihrtnrk @kgneptun

HEADPHONES PLAYING..

we can’t be friends by ariana grande, ordinary things by ariana grande

“N-NO!” you sobbing and screaming while your tears stream down your eyes continually.

You were aware that you would eventually feel remorse for your actions. Your tendency to prioritize your trivial emotions over logic was a recurring pattern. The memories held great significance for you, each one cherished and irreplaceable. The thought of losing them all was unbearable, weighing heavily on your conscience

You couldn’t do it. It was a bad idea but even though you didn’t get your happy ending, you at least had a sweet story. Sunghoon made you the happiest you’ve ever been.

So you did it, you swiftly made your escape from the operation room and raced towards the familiar surroundings of you and Sunghoon's former apartment. The adrenaline fueled sprint through the city streets was exhilarating as you navigated through the bustling crowds, determined to reach your destination.

Memories flooded back as you approached the building, each step bringing you closer to the safety of your shared home. The sense of urgency pushed you forward, the need to escape and find solace in the comfort of familiar surroundings overwhelming. Finally, you reached the door, taking a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

As you stood there waiting, time seemed to drag on endlessly. The feeling of impatience grew within you, making you question whether it was worth it to keep waiting.

Doubt crept into your mind, whispering that perhaps it was time to give up and walk away. But just as you were about to surrender to the frustration, a glimmer of hope appeared. The door finally creaked open, flooding your body with nervousness.

As you gazed upon the familiar figure of Sunghoon, memories from years past flooded your mind, causing tears to well up in your eyes. Sunghoon's own eyes widened in recognition, his lips parting in surprise as he took in the sight of you. The passage of time seemed to melt away as you both stood there, sharing a moment of silent understanding. It was a bittersweet reunion, filled with a mix of joy and sorrow at how much had changed.

As the silence lingers, a wave of embarrassment washes over you. His blank expression and lack of recognition leave you feeling small and insignificant. It's as though you never even crossed his mind, as if your presence in his life was completely forgettable. The weight of this realization settles heavily on your shoulders, causing a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“I- i’m sorry! You don’t even know me..” but as you were about to run away, you felt a warm hand gripping your wrist.

As you stood there, lost in your thoughts, a sudden warmth enveloped you. It was an embrace so comforting, so reassuring, that all your worries seemed to melt away. Sunghoon's arms wrapped around you, holding you close as if promising to never let go.

His touch was like a gentle caress, soothing and tender, filling you with a sense of security and love. In that moment, everything else faded away, and you were left with the simple, pure joy of being held in his arms. It was a moment of pure bliss, a moment you wished would never end.

“Sunghoon..?”

“How do you even remember me..”

Finally, Sunghoon turned his gaze towards you, tears shimmering in his eyes. A faint blush rose to his cheeks as he nervously scratched his neck, a clear sign of his embarrassment. It was evident that he was struggling to find the right words to speak, his emotions overwhelming him. Despite his attempt to compose himself, his vulnerability was palpable.

The weight of his unspoken words hung heavy in the air, the silence between you both speaking volumes. And in that moment, you couldn't help but feel a surge of empathy towards him, as you awaited his hesitant words with bated breath.

“I coudn’t do it..”

“I-i tried to but I just..”

Before he could continue speaking, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his. The unexpected kiss caught him off guard, causing his words to fade away into a jumble of thoughts. His heart raced as he felt the warmth of your lips against his, a rush of emotions flooding through him. Time seemed to stand still in that moment as you shared a passionate connection.

The intensity of the kiss left him speechless, his mind reeling with confusion and desire. And in that instant, everything else faded away as he focused solely on the feeling of your lips on his.

As all the memories flooded through both of your minds, drawing you closer together, Sunghoon gently lifted you up. The rush of nostalgia washed over you, intertwining your hearts and souls in a moment of pure connection.

With each passing memory, the bond between you grew stronger, solidifying the unbreakable link you shared. Sunghoon's touch was tender yet firm, conveying a sense of protection and love. In that moment, you felt truly seen and understood, as if every memory was a thread weaving you both closer together. And in Sunghoon's arms, you knew you were home.

As the kiss broke, Sunghoon's breath hitched in his chest, his eyes filled with a mixture of desire and worry as he gazed at you. The intensity of the moment lingered in the air, a silent exchange of emotions passing between you both. His gaze was filled with longing, his lips slightly parted as if yearning for more. But beneath the desire, there was also a hint of concern, a worry that perhaps he had crossed a line or that things were moving too fast.

“C-can we try again..?”

“Yes, dork.”

With a grin of relief, Sunghoon leaned in and kissed you once more before scooping you up in his arms and carrying you into his apartment. The warmth of his touch and the joy in his eyes filled you with a sense of contentment.

As he gently set you down, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the rush of emotions that flooded through you. The closeness between you two was undeniable, and in that moment, you knew that you were exactly where you were meant to be. Sunghoon's kiss was a promise of love and happiness that you eagerly embraced.

At last, you guess you can say that you two finally got your happy endings..

#stars yapping #enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen smau #enhypen comfort #enha fluff #imagine #enhypen x reader #park sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon #sunghoon angst #eternal sunshine

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jayujus · 1 month

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rent a boyfriend! - chapter 13

— 13 eternal sunshine

prev | next | m.list

TAGLIST (CLOSED) @leep0ems @yyawnjun @saursoob @heerinnie @wvnkoi @heeslut4life @sunghoonnsupremacy @ramenoil @chxrlvspp @wonniestars @beommii @kwiwin @dimplewonie @eleanorheartschishiya @sunkislove @jaeyunluvr @txtlyn @aishigrey @simjyunnie @oldjws @baevsxii @sumzysworld @iamliacamila @yvrikoo @hotsforikeu @w3bqrl @jiaant11 @etherealiitty @boutyouwonu @aespaslut @nishislcve @neocockthotology @erehkinnie30 @icepshrince @26796i @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kissezfornamjoon @ghostiiess @lprww @stilesks @k1ttylvr @heeseunggirll @rikizm @kgneptun @jjunae @aerivrs @bomi-ja @dani-is-tired @ttylxox2 @i-yeseo

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jaehunnyy · 1 year

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The sound of our tied souls

Genre: soulmate!au, rockstar!au, kinda enemies-to-lovers but not really, a bit of angst, fluff, happy ending

Word count: 3.3k

Pairing: rockstar!San x fem!reader (feat. reader's best friend x Mingi)

Warnings: swear words (quite a lot), time-skip, kind of a bad guy attitude—San's a bit of a jerk at the beginning but he has a character development :), soulmate rejection, mentions of some jealous fans, kinda slow-burn, one kiss, possible grammar mistakes

A/N: this oneshot is part of @sungbeam's soulmate collab, which i was so proud to be part of; thanks for the opportunity, love 🤍

You got woken up by that annoying song again, your beauty sleep being thrown away for the rest of the night—cause it seemed like your soulmate had no sleeping schedule. You couldn't understand how he could listen to this all the time, you often wondered if his hearing was still intact—cause the loud growl of what seemed to be an electric guitar could surely manage to make you deaf by now.

You have first discovered your soulmate bond after your 16th birthday, when you began hearing rock music everyday. Everyone was talking about how sweet their marks were: a tattoo with the letter of their significant other's name, a highlight in their hair matching their future partner's color, and the list could go on. You, on the other hand, had to struggle with listening to something you absolutely despised, without thinking that your soulmate returned the same feeling to your music choice. With a mischievous smile on your face, you made your way to your piano, starting to play one of your favorite songs. God, if only you knew how frustrated your soulmate got.

"San, you messed up again! Can you fucking focus?" Hongjoong, the leader of their group, Guerrillas, shouted, watching as the culprit lowered his head.

"I can't, Joong. I can't, because all I hear right now is Für Elise, and it messes my head up!" he shouted too, pulling his hair back in frustration.

The others looked at each other with confused looks; was there something they didn't know? Without actually meaning to, Mingi bursted into laughter, leading Wooyoung to chuckle as well.

"Since when do you listen to classical music?" he asked San, smirking playfully.

"I don't. That thing you call soulmate does."

"You're hearing what your soulmate listens to?!" Wooyoung exclaimed, covering his mouth in shock.

"Yeah. But you know I'm not into this shit of yours, so let's get back to practice. I'll try and focus." he simply said, taking his guitar again, the strap attached to it hugging his torso perfectly.

Seonghwa shrugged and signaled the others to start playing, their practice session blooming once again. You could swear that he'd never played music that loud before; it felt like a competition between the two of you, and you smiled at the thought of having him so frustrated. You didn't know who he was nor how he looked, but you were ready to make his life a living hell, as much as he had started to turn yours into one.

At one point, the music stopped and you managed to sleep a bit, but it was way too little for your liking. You woke up at the sound of your doorbell, your best friend standing behind the wooden door.

"You won't believe what my boyfriend got me!" she said as soon as you opened the door, barging into your house like it was her own.

"Do I wanna know?" you sighed, thinking that your best friend's excitement meant chaos.

"He got me two tickets at his band's concert! We're gonna see the Guerrillas!" she jumped, pulling the two golden-like tickets from her pocket.

She and Mingi—her soulmate, met a while ago, and since then, she was always talking about him and how much their music grew on her. She must have been so happy now, that her world had finally earned its colors. Her and Mingi's soulmate mark consisted of seeing the world in black and white, until the two of them met. You still remembered how fast they agreed on becoming a couple, and you still wondered how they made it work so well. You knew how proud she was of her boyfriend, mainly because it was the third time she was trying to convince you to go with her, thinking that it would be, somehow, her lucky chance.

"There's no way I'm going to a rock concert." you protested, crossing your arms.

"There's no way I'll leave you alone until you say yes." she smirked, shoving one of the tickets in your jacket.

Nice try, you thought, before taking a moment to actually read the information on the ticket. How bad could it be, after all? Maybe, in this way, you could find more about your soulmate's favorite genre of music. You also thought it was maybe an occasion to meet Mingi's friends; you knew he was in the college's rock band, though you've never met them in this formula.

"Fine. I'm only doing it for Mingi's effort to get you these." you said coldly, side-eyeing your friend when she gave you a bear hug; it was gonna be a long week.

While the two were already making plans for the big day, the boys took a break from their intense practice session, starting to talk about whatever traveled their mind while drinking a can of energy drink. San was absent from their conversation, fidgeting with his calloused fingers, the effort of always trying to hit the right strings showing. The thought of having a soulmate was really burdening him, he didn't want to spend his energy searching for someone he didn't even want to meet. Little San would probably be disappointed, because all he has ever wished for was to grow up and meet his other half. Arts student San, though? He didn't need anything else as long as he had his guitar by his side; a capo and some sheet music could easily solve his problems. But he couldn't stand the thought of someone constantly hearing the feelings he tried expressing through music; it made him feel vulnerable, like he had no personal space anymore.

"San, do you agree with the outfits we've decided on?" Jongho asked, looking curiously at the way too quiet boy.

"Huh… yeah, sure, sounds great." he replied, avoiding the way Yunho raised his eyebrow at his reply.

"You didn't pay attention," he sighed, before adding some other words: "Something's definitely bothering you, so talk to us."

"Is it because of your soulmate? Why don't you just search for her?" Wooyoung asked, feeling the way the elder tensed. "It should stop after you meet, right?"

"Meeting her means that I have to be committed, and I don't want to commit to her." he spat, putting emphasis on not wanting to do so, and without bothering to spare his friends the slightest glance, he just took his things and left them speechless, in the middle of the studio.

The week passed fastly, the not-so-wanted (by a certain someone, 'cause the whole college actually went crazy for it) concert finally coming to life. The boys were backstage, trying to memorize their lines or chords for the last time. You and your friend would be late though; because she couldn't let you wear the clothes you would usually wear.

"I can't believe you want to wear a coat to a rock concert," she sighed, slightly amused by your antics. "They cover songs like Smells Like Teen Spirit, Sweet Child O' Mine and more, and they will most likely sing their own songs as well. This isn't Antonio Vivanti."

You let out an offended scoff, grabbing the leather jacket she was trying to put on you and wearing it, despite the ick the weird material was giving you. "And it's Vivaldi, by the way. Pay respect!"

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon, or else we will be late!"

Luckily for her (‘cause you tried to lose as much time as you could), you arrived just when they settled on stage, greeting the ones who came to see them. You couldn't say you weren't a bit jealous whenever you saw the way her and Mingi looked at each other—because it did something to you. But you were scared of being rejected, pretty sure that the soulmate thing wasn't as easy as it seemed.

Your thoughts were brushed off by the loud sound made by the mix of instruments, making you flinch, to your friend's amusement. Not being able to sneak outside because of her hand constantly holding yours, you decided that the least you could do was to pretend you were enjoying it. The others seemed to have fun too, even the boys, who really owned the stage—until something stole the show. San was taken aback by the way his in-ears worked—or so he thought. The same song they were performing was playing in a faded but bothering way in his ears, making him look at the others with a questionable look. He then made a few gestures to the staff, waiting for the song to stop so he could go and see what was wrong. Hongjoong looked at him worriedly while still focused on his bass, meanwhile Mingi almost messed up while playing the drums.

"We will be back in a few minutes, wait for us, okay?" Jongho screamed, hoping to keep the audience busy for a bit, while the others went to see what was wrong with San; their mics weren't off, though.

"There's nothing wrong with your in-ears, San. They work perfectly," the staff informed him, a few curse words leaving his mouth.

"What if your soulmate is at the concert, San?" Yeosang asked innocently, almost like a joke—though the younger boy freezed in his place.

The audience went crazy; some fangirls gasped and started to whisper several things about San's potential soulmate, meanwhile some of them had the same reaction as San. Some of them even started to run, looking suspiciously at every single girl they saw. "San has a soulmate?", "God, what did she do in her past life?", and so many other phrases that made you scoff. Who was this San and why was he so popular? The influence of his jealous fans spreaded through the whole venue, making the staff finally notice their mics and turn them off, though it was too late—the fuss was already created.

"I don't think that's the case—" Seonghwa tried to protest, but San stopped him.

"I think that's exactly the case." San looked at them, before throwing his in-ears somewhere. "What should we do now? I don't want to perform anymore."

"Then… let's wrap it up." Hongjoong sighed, before going back on stage. "Due to some unfortunate events, we need to stop here, darlings. Don't worry, we will come back soon!" He bowed and left the stage, leaving the fans high and dry. In other circumstances, nothing could have made him leave the stage that easily; he would have found a solution. But seeing how messed up his friend was, it made him want to try and understand him, he was going through a quite special phase, after all.

"I will go ask Mingi about what happened, do you want to come?" your friend asked, though your answer didn't even matter, she was already dragging you after her.

She greeted her boyfriend and the others as if they knew each other since forever, asking them about what was wrong.

"San hears whatever his soulmate is listening too, and he has only told us a few days ago," Mingi said, wrapping an arm around the girl's waist.

Your eyes widened at what he said, but you decided to keep composure—maybe it was just a coincidence.

"And she is into classical music, it's so frustrating. Why would she come to our concert?" San snapped, ignoring the guest his friend's soulmate brought.

It all made sense to you then. You probably didn't realize the music coming from him because you tried to enjoy the new experience, but it made sense. The two-tone haired boy, the arrogant San everyone was talking about was standing in front of you—moreover, he was your soulmate; and he didn't seem too happy with the idea of being bonded to someone.

"Who's the lady next to you?" Wooyoung asked, feeling the need to make you feel implied in the discussion.

"She's Y/N, I dragged her here with me," your friend laughs awkwardly. "She's not a fan, but Mingi got me two tickets so I made use of them."

"Oh! Do you happen to hear rock music sometimes?" Wooyoung asked, smirking playfully.

"Uhm… no, sorry." you said, looking at San, who was already looking suspiciously at you. He was really arrogant, you wished to be able to reject him, but he seemed to do it first.

"Even if she was, I told you guys I don't care. My soulmate can go search for another one." he said, before leaving them, once again. You were the next one to leave, not even caring about the possibility of giving your little secret away.

Even after a few days, you couldn't deny the emptiness you felt the moment you were indirectly rejected by your soulmate—it was definitely noticeable, somewhere in your heart. It was safe to say San didn't feel as good as he thought he would either, even when he rejected the one he was assigned to live his whole life with on purpose. He figured out it was you, because he stopped hearing the once annoying music; but he missed it. And the news about his soulmate was spread in the whole college as well, not helping at all; they were making even the outsiders interested in the tea going on.

"I'm tired of this shit, guys. I won't come to practice today."

Hongjoong looked at him once again, nodding, not knowing exactly how to comfort his friend in this situation, words long forgotten. San started to walk in the direction of where the studio was, his ears filling with the melodious sound of a piano playing. Like it was a habit of his, his legs guided him to the door, which he cracked open, just to reveal you playing the piano. Your fingers moved skillfully along the piano keys, Debussy's Clair de Lune resonating beautifully in the room. The sweet melody managed to comfort him somehow; he didn’t know if it was the calming nature of the song or the closure he was supposed to have with you, but he felt relaxed, listening peacefully until the painful silence started to bother him. He then took the matters into his own hands—in such a San way.

"You’ve got some skills, soulmate," he said, his lips stretching into a little smile, though a little dimple made its appearance still.

You got a bit surprised by his presence, but stopped what you were doing, to return a small smile and answer him.

"Thank you. I guess you do too."

"Was that Beethoven?" he asked curiously, sitting on the chair in front of the piano, next to you.

"Claude Debussy, but A for effort," you said, smiling at his attempt.

A wave of silence spread across the room, before you decided to break it: "We got off to a bad start, but we can still repair it. I'm Y/N," you said, sticking your hand out to him.

He grabbed it, shaking it softly. "I'm San, nice to meet you again." He waited for another reaction of yours, but seeing that you didn't plan on saying anything else, he made the next step: "Let's be friends."

You spent most of the day with him, sharing tips and talking about your opposite passions—though it was well known that opposites attract. Now, that you've gotten to know him a bit better, you could say he was more than just an arrogant guy.

One month passed since your first interaction with your soulmate, and you would have never expected that there would be more; yet here you were, watching as he excitedly got two tickets from his pocket.

"You're invited to our concert tonight! My treat this time, for you and our friend." he winked, handing the same golden-like tickets to you.

"I'll be there, Sannie." you smiled, giving him a side hug before running to your class. He smiled softly, not believing the effect love could have on him.

Furthermore, tonight's stage would be an important one for him; it could mean accomplishment or failure, but he was still willing to try. The boys found him smiling like an idiot—but they enjoyed it, they could tease him about how a certain someone made him change. He never failed to amaze them, but someone definitely brought the best in him. He watched as the boys looked at him, his freshly dyed hair glowing nicely into the dim lights. His hands were covered in a pair of fingerless mesh gloves, fingers full of rings, while his t-shirt was nicely tucked in his leather pants. Some chains were dangling on his neck and waist, and a fake lip ring laid on his lower lip, completing the rockstar look he opted for.

"Where's San and what have you done with him?" Yeosang joked, entertaining the other seven boys in the room.

"Shut up, Sang. Are you ready?" Seonghwa asked, taking his mic and retouching the last details for tonight's show.

"Never been more ready." San smiled, taking his guitar and being the first one to get on stage.

"Hello guys, thank you for coming today too!" Wooyoung exclaimed, getting ready to perform at his best.

You and your friend were somewhere in the front row, singing along with the other fans who came to see the eight boys. You were bouncing with her, enjoying the genre you softly became addicted to, but it was surely an influence San had on you. You didn't know what happened to you, but you still had hope, that maybe something would change his mind. Suddenly, the culprit's voice was heard in the whole venue, catching your attention and making you stop whatever you were doing.

"As you all know, one month ago, I met my soulmate at the concert we held in the same place. I'd like her to join me here, please, Y/N?" he smiled, gesturing for you to get on stage, next to them.

You looked confusedly at your friend, who pushed you in the direction of the stage, playing their game. You got there, finding yourself in front of the crowd and waving awkwardly at them, not expecting to hear their loud screaming.

"I know I was a bit of a douchebag at the beginning, and that was definitely not the way you wanted us to meet. I messed up, but I hope you can forgive me."

The fans cheered up louder, while a big smile found its way to your face, making the boy's lips stretch into one as well.

"I know I rejected you at the beginning, but let me try to fix things. I hope it's not too late," he laughed softly, before continuing: "Have you started your looking for another soulmate project yet?"

You burst into laughter, nodding as no a few times. His cheeks got colored in a crimson red tone, and you could swear you've never seen anything cuter than a shy rockstar.

"Can I have the chance of being the lucky one, then?" he asked and watched as your expression changed, nervousness noticeable in his voice as well.

"I thought you considered yourself unluck—" Wooyoung interrupted, but Jongho was fast to cover his mouth and prevent him from saying anything else. "You're screwing the moment, Woo." he said, mouth still pressed on his older friend's mouth.

You laughed at their antics, taking the mic from San's hand.

"As much as you've annoyed me, I still like you, Choi San. I always did, which is why I would actually love to give you this chance."

As soon as you finished your romantic little speech, he cupped your face, pressing his lips on yours softly. The fans went crazy, cheering and jumping as the two of you sealed the promise of loving each other forever with a soft kiss.

"With these being said, I'd like to announce the title of our next album, entitled The sound of our tied souls!" Yunho said, making the night of every single soul attending that concert, the stars shining even brighter above their heads.

You pressed your forehead on San's, admiring his beauty while your noses rubbed lovingly against each other's. The road you had to walk on to find your soulmate was a tough one, but looking back on it, you wouldn't want it another way; you were too excited for your future with your other half—the arrogant boy you started to love, the one destined to be eternally yours.

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lunardragon00 · 24 days

Text

Eternal Sunshine Masterlist

A series of Ateez fics based off the Eternal Sunshine album

Ateez x Fem!Reader

End of The World (Part One)

Boyfriend!Mingi x Reader How can I tell if I'm in the right relationship? Aren't you really s'posed to know that shit? Feel it in your bones and own that shit? I don't know

Don't Wanna Break Up Again

Seonghwa x Reader We both know it's time, So we say goodbye Just one kiss goodbye, With tears in our eyes

Eternal Sunshine

Idol!Jongho x Idol!Reader So I try to wipe my mind, Just so I feel less insane Rather feel painless, I'd rather forget than know, know for sure What we could've fought through behind this door

Supernatural (coming soon....)

Fashion Designer!Hongjoong x Journalist!reader Don't want nobody else around me, Just need you right here You're like the only thing that I see, It's crystal clear

The Boy is Mine (coming soon....)

f-boy!Yunho x reader Something about him is made for somebody like me Baby, come over, come over And God knows I'm trying, but there's just no use in denying

We Can't Be Friends (coming soon....)

Yeosang x reader I don't wanna tiptoe, but I don't wanna hide But I don't wanna feed this monstrous fire Just wanna let this story die, And I'll be alright

I Wish I Hated You (coming soon....)

Ex!San x reader Our shadows dance in a parallel plane Just two different endings, you learn to repair And I learn to keep me in one place So close and yet so far, If only we had known from the start

Imperfect for you (coming soon....)

Bf!Wooyoung x reader How could we know, we'd rearrange all the cosmos? We crashed, and we burned Now I just can't go where you don't go

Ordinary Things (part Two) (coming soon....)

Boyfriend!Mingi x reader You hit just like a green light when I'm stuck runnin' real late I don't need no diamonds, just your time No matter what we do, there's never gonna be an ordinary thing No ordinary things with you

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greycaelum · 7 months

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You sat before the blind date your mother has been begging and demanding you to meet for months. He's the godson of your mother's friend that recently came back from overseas. Something about taking over their family business after some time prompted him to finally settle down in Japan and start his own family.

You finally had enough of her nagging and decided to meet the man and make it clear you're not planning to entertain a relationship. You have no plans of getting married. Ever.

It's such a foreboding thing to say when you're still so young. But there's that gap in your heart that seems to never be filled. It's like a part of you is grieving for something or someone you don't know. It's like you forgot something you never knew in the first place. It's crazy... But it's real.

"Lately I've been having this recurring dream." He started.

Whatever it is that compelled you to listen was long forgotten as you watch his lips weave through his thoughts and for a second it's like you were in that dream.

"And every time I wake up, my heart feels like I lost something I never found yet." He stared at you with deep-seated eyes. His forearms were on the table, a little too serious and a little too solemn for a first meeting. "Then my heart feels so weightless. Like I forget something I shouldn't forget... It's so weightless that it hurts."

You took a sharp breath and exhaled. Finally you mustered the courage to ask.

"Who's in your dreams?"

... The faint breeze and the rustling of trees fill the silence as his deep blue eyes stares at you for a long time.

"You."

Sequel to this; pt. 1

#I'd still choose you in our next eternity #[✒️☕: and i would rewrite hundreds of past and thousands of future for a present with you]#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo satoru imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #gojo satoru x reader #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jjk au #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo x you #gojo satoru x y/n

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won4ver · 5 months

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Sweet eternity - teaser

Lee Heeseung oneshot

pairing : idol!heeseung x vampire!fem!reader

warnings + genre : angst. forbidden love. soulmates. second chance (in a way). full list will be added to the completed fic.

teaser wc : 404

complete wc : ~10k - 15k ?

release date : ???

“maybe we could be sweet eternity”

A shaky breath left his mouth as he looked down into the venue. The cold metal pressed against his palms as he used it for stability.

He could feel you breathing down the back of his neck, lips centimeters away as you both gazed down at the cheering crowd. Even from a hundred feet up he could still hear them so clearly, they’re screaming his name.

“Is it worth it?” you questioned him, his eyes never straying away from the screaming fans below. “Am I worth losing all of this?” He felt your hand rub down from his shoulder, momentarily letting go to lightly grab his waist.

“Worth losing everything for?”

He stayed silent for a moment, breath leaving his body before shaking his head, “No” you smiled softly from behind him, hands letting go. “And that’s okay. you’re still human Heeseung, the world could offer you so much more than i could.”

Tears filled his eyes, head dropping down as his lip trembled. “Don’t cry, baby” He felt your hand grab his face in a gentle hold, “I didn’t expect you to say yes, your life has barely started”

He opened his eyes as he looked up at you, pain evident in his gaze. “But I don’t want to lose you, I want you as well” You shook your head at him, your smile growing fonder as you watched him.

“It’s alright, I’ll wait for you.” You leaned your forehead against his shoulder, arms coming around him in a hug. “We still have our eternity”

Heeseung believed your words, hope blooming in his chest as he hugged you closer. Even with you in his arms he still couldn’t stop looking down at the fans, eyes sparking with their lightsticks.

He couldn’t hear the breaking of your voice, he never noticed the tremble of your hands. He never thought that this was your goodbye, that he was the one ripping your eternity from his own hands. There was no one to blame but himself for what will follow.

You would give the world to have him, but he would take the world even if it meant losing you. Fate was cruel, but maybe his selfishness was even crueler.

Sweet eternity he echoed in his head over and over, the words repeating in a hypnotic way.

Hope would soon become his downfall. A whisper of lies that will consume him in nothing but sweet venom.

@ LVLYHANNI do not plagiarize, translate, copy or repost

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vintagehellfire · 2 months

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Life Eternal | E.M

summary: You'd promised each other your souls forever, that you'd be with each other forever...

warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, grief, major character death, graves, death, no seriously there is no comfort... okay maybe mayyyyyybe if you squint, but tbh just pure hurt, based on Life Eternal by Ghost

18+ MDNI

There was no denying the pain that came with having someone ripped from you far too soon, but what was worse was being unable even to have one last goodbye, being unable to see their face one last time before their soul departed from their body and before the rot settled in. There was something akin to a knife being driven through one's chest repeatedly when the devastating news of a loved one taking their last breath was delivered, and it was made much worse when the two parties touched each other’s souls in a way that no other had been able to.

Tears fell onto the dampened earth, the lot still fresh, disturbed. The cold granite of the headstone felt glacial and yet unreal. It was a physical manifestation of devastation and yet its existence felt completely ersatz. Not only because the stone was clean for the most part - barring the red spray paint that refused to be removed, another permanent mark on the memories of that which is lost - but also because stuck out like a sore thumb in the old and run-down cemetery, a symbol of the young loss.

Sobs wracked your body and your breathing uneven, but how could it ever be even again? It wouldn’t be, not as you sat at your kitchen table to receive the news, not as you received the devastating emotional blow of finding out that there wasn’t a body to be recovered, and not when you were in front of his grave, knowing that he wasn’t even beneath the earth below your feet. How nobody was able to find him left your mouth drier than the Sahara - you weren’t able to hold his hand one last time, no matter how cold they would be, unable to see his button nose or hug his dying body to you as you lost him for what felt like the second time in the span of a week. You choked on your breath for what was probably the hundredth time, the hundredth time you breathed your soul out through earth-shattering devastation.

With nobody but the sodden cemetery ground to turn to, you fisted the earth and let out a heart-shattering sob into the open air, nobody to hear you or to console you through the pain. The one person you wanted most was the one person you would never see again. The lump in your throat silenced your voice, vocal cords worn thin from the sleepless nights that you sobbed into the infamous Hellfire shirt he wore. His scent was quickly fading from it and once you had realised that you were left an even bigger wreck than you could have imagined - the last tether to him slowly fraying, the last little fibres unravelling themselves in tune to your own emotional demise.

Your whole body shook with anger and heartbreak - you wanted to get out of this god-forsaken town, but he haunted you and this cursed place was the only thing keeping him alive. You could swear that you’d feel his hands on your shoulders while you tried to cook - the first time it happened, you called his name before the sensation disappeared into thin air, leaving you heaving for oxygen. Your food was forgotten and left to burn while your wails carried through your apartment and your eyes stung from the tears. That night you sobbed until there was no longer any breath left in your lungs, until the walls of your home felt cold and unwelcoming.

The second time it happened, you were walking past the arcade and you could have sworn you felt his hands on your hips and a laughter-filled call of your name. That time you spun around so quickly you nearly lost your balance, head whipping around to see who it was behind you, but his voice haunted you and so you pushed past everyone in your way, trying to hold yourself together enough to break down the moment you reached your car. You didn’t make it and instead, you found yourself sitting by your car’s front tire as you bawled, your body wracked with tremors. They felt never-ending – the tremors – terrorising you when you would least expect them. You longed for his arms around you again, to hear his laugh, to dance with him in your little kitchen as you did on the first night you had moved into your place. The memory only served as a painful reminder of that which you no longer had. Your body had memorised the way he held you to him, his quivering voice that told you that you’d touched his soul forever before leaning in for the most gentle kiss. The way his kiss seared into your skin was like a burn that would flare up when you least expected it, and it was clear that he too had touched your soul in a more permanent way than you had ever expected him to.

“Eddie…” You sniffled, managing to find the capacity to croak out his name for the first time in months but the assault of tears that came immediately after you breathed life back into his name was too painful, your chest seizing, lungs collapsing on themselves as if you’d just been plummeted a thousand leagues under the dark ocean. Your life certainly felt much darker with him gone. You longed for him, even while he was around, you longed to spend time in his arms, to hear him ramble about his campaigns, about his little sheep, but now that he was gone you couldn’t help but yearn for all that you used to have with him.

It had been months of this, of showing up to his gravestone and having to clean it from the obscenities that adorned it, a painful reminder of how little love he received for how much of it he had in his heart. You spent agonising hours scrubbing the red paint off with cleaning products and salty tears, leaving flowers and letters to him in hopes that they would somehow reach him on the other side, and yet with each passing day, the fire that lit your soul grew darker, and the yearning only grew stronger. Your jaw was in a state of constant pain from how much you were trying to hold yourself together, clenching it in both your waking hours and the moment sleep consumed you, trying to keep your very being from shattering.

“Can you hear me say your name? Can you see me longing for you?” Your voice was hoarse, unused for far too long. You barely recognised it yourself, as if it was a third party speaking for you, projecting your thoughts for you. The moment you realised you had spoken, another wave hit you, knocking you down further than you had been before. You dug your hands into the graveyard dirt and let out a shaky breath, unable to fathom the reality that wrapped itself like a noose around your neck, slowly suffocating you. You wanted nothing more than to scream but the cry never came - your last breath was spent, it seemed, and all you could muster was a weak whimper. How could he be gone? You wondered to yourself, unable to come to terms with the devastating passing of your boyfriend. You refused to believe it, the lack of a body, he couldn’t be gone, could he? But as the days passed, your hope dwindled, and you had to resign yourself to the reality that he was gone. You had to just let go… Or so everyone seemed to preach.

The promises you both whispered to each other in the dead of night, when the witching hour struck, and you had nothing but each other, haunted you. Sometimes you swore that you could hear whispers of his voice when you couldn’t fall asleep but ultimately it was most likely your delirious conscience that plagued you, making you hear things in the dead of night.

“You promised…” Your sobs wracked your body, shuddering the more you tried to contain your tears, your voice completely breaking as you let go of the last ounce of strength that held you together. Your mind wandered to the sweet nothings that Eddie would shower you with, and that is what they amounted to in the end, wasn’t it? Nothing. With him gone, you didn’t have any options but to let go of those feelings, those sweet words, those promises of being yours forever. His romantic monologues and ramblings of being yours forever, and if death chose to do you part, how he’d find your soul once again from the afterlife, you had to let them go for they found themselves amounting to nothing. Death did you part, except it didn’t take you as well.

You danced slowly in the candlelight, your hand on his shoulder, his on your waist, and his soft lips right beside your ear. He pulled you close to his body and while he was warm, his hands were cold against yours, as if he’d just come in from a cold winter’s night, but all he had done was share a joint with you, something that loosened you both up after your long day. His wild curls tickled your soft face and you giggled at some ridiculous line he was feeding you but soon the suave facade fell and his voice dropped to a low murmur.

“Sweetheart, I love you.” His voice rattled, rattled like old windows in a summer storm, sturdy, protective, and yet stable, protecting that on the inside. “I would rip the heavens apart to find you again. I’d search for you in the afterlife if it meant I could be with you in lifetimes to come.” And while this sounded like standard Munson drivel, there was a certain intonation that inclined you to believe him.

“I don’t think God would be too happy with you, Munson, nor the devil himself for that matter.” You tried to joke with him but it fell on deaf ears. Eddie was unrelenting with his honesty. His voice was earnest and thick with emotion when he answered you, a conviction you’d never heard before lacing itself into every word.

“I don’t care, sweetheart, I’d fight Gods and devils alike… I’d fight Satan himself for you if it meant getting to be with you in the next life.” You couldn’t do anything but hold him closer in this moment, your words dying on your tongue. How were you to answer him when his emotions were so raw? How could you even muster up something as eloquent to say to him when he opened his heart up to you in such a vulnerable way?

“I’d raise armies to rip hell apart to find you, Eddie. I’d be longing for you forever…” You whispered to him as you both slowly danced together, the candles flickering softly, illuminating both your features in a warm glow - there was nothing more beautiful than the love you both shared, nothing more pure.

Your forehead fell to the dank earth, lungs set ablaze by your dry heaving. You couldn’t find it in you to make this the moment you just let it go. Your soul called out for him as you longed painfully for his touch, his soft words of reassurance, but you wouldn’t get them, never again. The most you had was the little love notes he left you, his DnD notebooks… There wasn’t all too much that was left of your boyfriend, and you cherished every last thing that you had in your possession. He had touched your soul forever, whether he knew it or not.

Your eyes burned painfully as sobs tore through your raw throat, your fingers digging further into the fresh dirt of the uprooted grave. The further you stuck your hands in, the more you prayed you’d hit something, anything, but you never would. Your hands would grow cold, and there would be a story in your heart - yours and Eddie’s - but your hands would never again find his body, never again hold him to you. They would never run through his tangled curls, or feel the plush of his lips, no, instead they’d feel the humidity seep into their bones and devour them from the inside out the longer you kept them buried, and the dirt would surely cake your fingernails to the point you wouldn’t be able to get it out from underneath them. The scent of petrichor would overtake the smell of weed, cigarettes, and his cheap musky cologne. You’d never feel his callouses graze across your soft skin again, and that small detail, the one that made Eddie so… so him, would in a year escape you, fading into nothingness as you were forced to let go of him.

You wanted to dance with him once again, to feel the chill of his long fingers against yours but that was something that wouldn’t ever come back. Not even in the ghostings of touches, the whispers and bumps that came in the night. No matter how much those moments shattered you, no matter how much pain they brought on, the most painful would be the moment you forget the feeling of his lips or the way his hands splayed across the small of your back - those moments would disappear one day… or one day until someone came along that made you remember it, and that day would be one that would make every other touch but Eddie’s feel wrong. Nobody would have the honour to touch you in the same ways as he did.

As you bawled into the graveyard dirt, you could have sworn there was a weight on your upper back and while it wasn’t pushing you into the dirt itself, it might as well have been. Part of you hoped it would be Eddie’s arm around you but when you turned, your body was violently assaulted by an onslaught of sobs at the realisation that your boyfriend wasn’t there to hold you while you cried. You were choking on each short breath, unable to calm yourself down. The one time you needed him more than anyone, he wasn’t present.

I’m here. Just breathe, sweetheart, thassit, I’ve got you.

There was something so off about the whole situation, about how clinically everything was treated, about how none of his “friends” seemed to show up. The funeral was quick and dirty, arranged by Wayne and yourself in the best way you both knew and after everything was said and done, you hid away, isolating yourself from the world itself. You barely left the house. The only time you breathed the fresh Hawkins air was when you went to visit his grave or the once-a-month trip to get groceries. You should have gone to see Wayne but he reminded you too much of everything that was ripped away from you and while you yearned to visit the man and sit down with him, to speak Eddie back into existence through memories and laughter, you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You couldn’t bring yourself to break your heart over and over again even though you knew that in some capacity you both needed each other in order to sew together your broken hearts.

“P-please Eds…” You choked out, your emotions were getting away from you, the more you thought about it, about him, the more you felt like you lost your family. He was your rock, the love of your life, in your own ways you’d sworn yourselves over to each other, sworn yourselves to life eternal with one another, and so having him ripped from you so suddenly left a dark pit in your chest, deeper than the ninth circle of hell would ever reach. You didn’t think it would have been possible for

I’m right here with you, sweetheart.

The wind blew colder and you shivered, but you didn’t dare move, not an inch, because it meant moving from the grave you’d come to memorise - your muscles, your fingers, your heart, even your nose, all of you had come to memorise his grave - it was ingrained in you, and the epitaph was one that burned across your vision every single time your eyes closed – another ghost haunting you as you tried desperately to soothe your aching heart. People who say breakups would be easier are liars, you decided in this moment.

They’re not… I promise you they’re not easy. At least nobody can compete with the dead.

They’d be easier because maybe on the off chance you’d get to have the person in your life, in your heart, you wouldn’t lose all the meaningful quirks the person had, you wouldn’t forget them in due time. You wouldn’t have a dead-end trail left of them, and yet… and yet it wouldn’t be easy either. Part of you wished you could have been the one to see the light disappear from his eyes, to have this confirmation of his departure from the mortal realm, another part of you didn’t even want to think of the darkness taking over his eyes, the reflection of the light fading to nothing, his breath stopping, and his brain giving out. You simultaneously wanted and did not want to be the one to witness his last breath, you did and didn’t want to be the one to watch the light behind his eyes disappear as he croaked, you did and did not want him gone because you weren’t sure which would wind up being easier to deal with.

Neither would be easy, sweetheart.

“I wish you were here, Eds.” You sniffled the moment your sobs slowed, your body taking too much stock into keeping you alive and warm. You had exhausted yourself and cried every last tear you had in you for today, leaving a dry husk - a shell of a human – until tomorrow when you’d replenished your tear ducks.

I’m right here with you always. I’m not going anywhere, I promised you that not even death could do us part.A cold gust of air pushed your hair from your face and you couldn’t contain your shiver, the cold was becoming as unbearable as your boyfriend’s passing, every waking hour haunted by memories of him, every corner of Hawkins harbouring his ghost, and every unconscious moment plagued by nightmares of his last moments, twisting memories, contorting them into grotesque scenes of abject horror. With a deep breath, you pushed yourself up to your knees and swallowed down any emotions you had, bringing your soiled sleeve to your face and wiping away the tears that threatened to spill. You were sure you looked like you had just crawled out of the grave due to the amount of dirt that caked your body and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when he was gone.

With a shaky breath, you leaned over and kissed his gravestone, your eyes fluttering shut, and at that moment you swore you heard his voice calling to you, you swore you felt the warmth of his hand on your puffy cheek, his thumb brushing across the damp valley of your eye. You kept your eyes shut for just a moment longer, longing to feel this small moment of reprieve despite the fact that it probably did far more harm than it did good.

“I’m with you always, sweetheart.” Your eyes snapped open and your head dropped against the headstone, lip trembling as you tried to bite into it from the inside of your mouth - you couldn’t stop the heavy squeezing around your heart nor the feeling of a dark pit opening itself up in your stomach. When you lost your boyfriend a chasm had ripped itself through your chest, leaving you empty and numb to everything but the onslaught of pain that each waking moment brought you. Each waking moment was plagued with the knowledge that Eddie was gone before you were even aware of it. You hadn’t even been in town when the manhunt had begun, having been away to visit your mother’s side of the family, only to come home to find out he was in hiding - ripped away from you once, then twice.

The fresh torrential downpour of tears was unexpected but they kept you at his grave, they kept you closer to him, they kept him alive even by some fucked up means. If crying for him meant that his memory was kept alive then you’d cry for him into the next lifetime, and while you thought you’d cried them all away, it seemed that neither love nor grief had limits.

tags: @munson-blurbs @rip-quizilla @the-unforgivenn @littlesubbyflower @hellfire--cult

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie x y/n #eddie x reader #heartbreakeddie munson angst #hurt/no comfort #eddie angst #reader insert #life eternal #ghost #ghost bc #life eternal - ghost #songfic #angst #pure pain tbh idk what you expected

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sweetcarrotsandroses97 · 3 months

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APRICITY: flame of eternal winter | KTH | TEASER

apricity. (n) the warm of the sun during winter.

Pairing: deaf! partially blind! Taehyung x fem! Reader

Summary: It’s been 300 years since the world as we knew it, had ended. Man’s own creation had taken over society, forcing the people to go into hiding. At least those who were not deemed “worthy” of living in the machines’ perfect city. Three hundred years of eternal coldness. Three hundred years of living in fear, with the threat of death at the corner. But even in that eternal winter, a flower bloomed in between the chaos. Or in which you escape your supposedly perfect life and find yourself in the arms of Kim Taehyung. A man whose soul was more beautiful than the stars above the sky. A forbidden love. A protected chaos. And a story that should have ended with a kiss rather than bitter tears.

Warnings: angst, fluff, character death, heavy angst, dystopian! AU, artificial intelligence controls the world, futuristic! AU, death, blood, warm love, age gap, this story touches themes of physical disabilities as well as heavy discrimination, (more will be added with the entire story)

Word Count: 800 words (for the teaser)

In many ways, in many forms existed love.

In many stories, in many dreams there were feelings.

A human attachment. A soft design of the human heart.

You hummed to yourself as you sat down against the naked cherry tree. It was still beautifully mesmerising to you how people managed to live like this. Underground. Hiding from the machines that threatened to kill them if they were to step foot outside. You still wondered how people had adapted so quickly to living like this, always in the shadows of the eternal winter that had fallen over this world.

You felt Taehyung’s presence next to you before he sat down, offering you a warm smile as he leaned back against the tree, his leg touching yours and you sighed at the simplicity of this happiness you were feeling.

“You looked lonely.”

He spoke. His voice was deep and soothing you couldn’t help the calm smile that stretched over your lips. You turned to look at him, eyes meeting his own as you lost yourself in his dark galaxy and crystal ocean of secrets and desires.

“I was thinking.”

He read your lips as you spoke. Wishing for nothing else to hear your voice over all the sounds that existed around him yet he was unaware of their nature. How he wished he could listen to you talk during dinner or softly humming to yourself as you cooked something for him. He wanted to listen to you read to him before going to sleep, he wanted to listen to the words you spoke, not just read them through the soft movement of your kissable lips.

“You never told me how it was.”

Your head tilted and he continued, breaking eye contact as he looked beyond the vastness of the underground forest.

“You never speak of your life up there, in the High Ground. I know nothing of your past.”

His eyes met yours once more in a dance of emotions you couldn’t grasp. His blue eye felt like an open window to his soul, the key to his hidden secrets even if the world wasn’t seen through that beautiful blue ocean of his. While his brown eye, dark in its own perfection. Sincere in its own gaze, awaited for you to speak so that he could read. Awaited your answer. Patiently.

“It’s not something I’m proud of, nor something that joys me to remember.”

Taehyung grabbed your hand in his larger palm, a silent way of telling you it was alright. A silent way of saying he understood, at least to an extent. You squeezed his hand in quiet thankfulness. He knew it must not be easy to remember your prior life, your calculated and cold life.

To some point, he knew. He understood why you were so closed-off with your past. The machines had taken control of the world. Discarding those who were “unworthy” of living in their “perfect paradise” or the High Ground as they called it. How ironic it had been for humanity to succumb to their own creation.

But even in the end of the world, you gave Taehyung hope in a hopeless life. He gave you warmth in an icy existence. And together, you both completed each other in a way you never thought possible of actually existing. You lost yourself in his mesmerising eyes, the most beautiful pair of eyes you had ever seen were Taehyung’s to own. How dare the machines, the Governing Entity, disregard such beauty from being worthy of living? How dare a heartless robot dictate who was allowed to live? Why did a thing decide over a human's fate?

You had found such beauty in the Underground you never wanted to go back up there to a city that was mathematically perfect, with apparently perfect people that lived supposedly perfect lives. That kind of perfection was a raw illusion, the beauty you had found under those ideal houses was a rough beauty. A natural beauty you couldn’t even think of letting go.

Taehyung has become your home, your safety, your paradise. He had welcomed you into his life with open arms when you were a stranger to his people, to his own heaven. But he allowed you to understand his way of living. He gave you a choice and you chose to stay by his side.

Forever.

Or at least, for as long as you two loved each other for he often says that love wins it all.

A/N: Hi, darlings! Sooo this was highly inspired by IU's song "Love wins all" ft. Taehyung and, well this came out. I really hope you will like it and are excited to read this Tae dystopian! AU.

This story will be exclusive for my Golden Darlings on Ko-Fi, here's the link if you are interested in supporting me with the Golden Membership, darlings!

January/26/2024

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trinitytheorphan · 4 months

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“Achilles Come down!”

Title: “Achilles come down!”

OneShot: Druig x GN! Eternal!Reader

Warnings; Suicidal thoughts, and attempt. Mentions of depression, unrequited love, negative thoughts. And um Fluff at the end.

Druig Stood at the top of the temple. He was already about to jump off the roof of it. You turned to him. He was the man whom you loved deeply, but you’d never tell him. “Druig, Druig please come down! Get off that roof!” You yelled as you tried to get him to stop. He turned to face you, a pained expression on his handsome face. He stood silently as he studied your face, trying to understand why you wanted him to stop himself from jumping off the roof and ending his life.

“Please get off the roof!” You told him again as you gestured for him to come back to you. You both stood on the top of the temple. You were loosing your balance and wanted him to come to you.

Jump do it! Jump! No one wants you here! Don’t you want to end your suffering! Forget her she won’t do anything to stop you if you do Jump. Said the voice in his head, urging hi, to jump and end his life.

You stood there, as he sat on the edge of the temple. It was almost midnight, you guys should be sleeping.

“You want the acclaim, you want our help!” Said the negative voice his mind.

“it’s not worth it Druig, don’t listen to your mind!” You said softly as you sensed his conflict.

“Your willing to jump, be done with it and jump!”

“Your worth more, Druig! Worth so much more than this!”

“You want my opinion, so I gave you my opinion!”

“No one asked for your opinion!”

“You want my council, so I gave you my thoughts.”

“No one asked for your thoughts!”

“Be done with this now and jump off the roof, Druig!”

“Can you hear me Druig, I’m talking to you!”

“Be done with this now, and come get off the roof with me.”

“Can you hear me, Druig, I’m talking to you! Don’t leave me here all alone! Please I love you! Don’t leave!”

He snapped out of his negative thoughts as you said you loved hi,. He didn’t believe it, you barely talked anymore, you barely even spoke, he loved you dearly, but you suddenly stopped being around and he was scared you knew how he felt, and left. He turned and looked you in the eye and said,

“I love you too, i won’t leave you ever!”

#druig x reader angst #druig x eternal!reader #druig x reader #druig x y/n #druig angst #barry keoghan #druig imagine

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rk1stars · 1 month

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ETERNAL SUNSHINE

TAGLIST - OPEN!

@yyawnjun @rosas-in-the-garden @allforhee @ilovejungwonandhaechan @jooniesbears-blog @niki-the-genius @lilyuwon @ihrtnrk. @kgneptun

(50 followers event.)

one - intro (end of the world) yang jungwon

Despite your long-standing admiration for Jungwon, it remains uncertain whether he reciprocates the same romantic sentiments towards you. Thus, you decided to keep your feelings hidden, unsure of the outcome should you reveal them. However, there lingers a question in your heart - will Jungwon ever divulge his true feelings towards you?

two - don’t wanna break up again lee heeseung

Caught in a complex situationship with Heeseung, doubts about his feelings plagued you. The fluctuation between closeness and distance left you bewildered. Summoning courage, you confronted him, anxious about his sincerity. As you questioned his intentions, anticipation filled you. Would he end things or commit? With bated breath, you awaited his response, longing for closure in this tangled relationship. Time stood still as you hoped for clarity, unsure of what the future held with Heeseung.

three - eternal sunshine park jongseong

You and Jay never seemed to work out, despite numerous attempts to make things right. However, after the messy breakup filled with tears and harsh words, you couldn't help but miss him. As you approached his front door with your heart pounding in your chest, you felt anxious about Jay's response

four - supernatural sim jaeyun

Upon seeing Jake, you immediately felt a strong connection to him, like a spell had been cast upon you. Your obsession with him led you to concoct a love potion, believing it would ensure he reciprocated your feelings. The magic surrounding him consumed your thoughts, leaving you desperate for his affection. As you handed him the potion, your heart raced with anticipation, hoping it would guarantee his love for you. But as he drank it, you realized that true love cannot be forced or manipulated, desperately trying to undo your spell.

five - we can’t be friends park sunghoon

-> part two

With the advancement of technology and the presence of numerous machines, a new one caught your attention. Unfortunately, you experienced a messy breakup with Sunghoon, leading to both of you erasing memories of each other in anger. Little did you know, this decision would later bring regret. The future seemed promising with endless possibilities, but the pain of losing someone you once cared for lingered. As time passed, you realized the mistake of erasing those memories, as they held significance and meaning that you couldn't fully comprehend in the heat of the moment.

six - i wish i hated you kim sunoo

not decided yet

seven - imperfect for you nishimura riki

not decided yet

167 notes · View notes

ficsforeren · 2 years

Text

Eternity

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: War AU, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn

Summary: Would you love someone if your days are numbered? A tragic love story between a soldier who’s trying to find a purpose in life and a blind girl who is stripped away of her freedom.

Content Warnings: Graphic description of death and murder, sexual assault on women, oppression, physical abuse, alcohol consumption, swearing.

Word Count: 25k+

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart

“You ever slept with a girl?”

A twenty-one-year-old boy, with eyes greener than the forest under the blazing sun, choked on his alcohol. It was his fifth time drinking one, but he never did it out of his own desire. Being a new soldier in the Marleyan army meant that he had to obey what his seniors ordered him to do. Whether it was to lay his weapon on his shoulder and chug on a bottle of vodka during duty, or behead a prisoner and watch their blood drenching the snow. The young soldier never had an option.

A soldier should not ask questions even when they are dying from curiosity. He had learned it the hard way during training. That was why he always pretended like he understood—and accepted—everything that was happening around him. That was just how the world naturally worked. The world was cruel. There was no beauty in it. Only those who had tossed away their hearts and conscience could survive. Have a heart and you’ll die before the next sunrise, that was what he was taught during his first month of service.

The dark brown-haired boy, known by the name Eren Kruger, rubbed his nape. He had his shoulder-length hair cut short ever since he joined the army, giving him a fresh undercut look that failed to protect his nape from the winter breeze. His skin was sun-kissed but crimson still painted the tips of his ears, a sign that his body was sensitive to cold, even when he was dressed warmly in a thick beige coat—a Marleyan uniform that he wore with a proud look on his face and shame in his chest. Kruger was not his real surname but it was the name he had to get familiar with.

Eren was one of the latest additions to the Marleyan army that “protected” their neighbor country, Eldian. At least, that was how he was told anyway. Deep down inside, he always had a different belief of his own. Marley wasn’t protecting the Eldians from other countries that wanted its minerals and natural resources. Marley was monopolizing Paradis and made it its slave for their benefit. But Eren knew better not to speak his thoughts aloud. He still valued his life too much, no matter how meaningless his life felt to him at the moment.

But then again, why must his life matter when people around him were dying just because they tried to find their sanctuaries? Why must he fill his life with laughter when children were getting beaten to the ground, their heads smashed under combat boots, just because they asked for more bread?

The world was unfair, and Eren used to be scared of hell. But this… This life he was living at the moment… It already tasted like one.

“Excuse me?” Eren tried to keep his voice down. Being in the middle of the winter season was already enough reason for his cheeks to bloom in the color of the evening sky. He did not need the older man to make him look even more flustered.

“I’m asking you, kid.” A man who was in his late thirties scratched the untrimmed beard on his chin. His name was Theo Magath, a strict commander of Eren’s division. Although he was nine centimeters shorter than the younger soldier, Magath was stronger and more experienced in every way. Eren feared him the most, though the other man regarded him as his new companion on battlefields. “Have you ever slept with a girl before?”

“Permission to speak freely, Sir?”

“Permission granted.”

Eren still hesitated, teeth nibbling against the inside of his cheeks. “Forgive me if I’m rude, but,” he cautiously spoke as he bowed down a little and returned the bottle to the older man. “I believe you’ve drunk too much of this.”

“And you’ve drunk too little,” the man said, his laugh boisterous when he pushed the alcohol to Eren’s chest. “Go drink up a little more.”

“But we’re on duty.”

“Yeah, to watch a bunch of teenagers collects those damn branches from the wood,” Magath scoffed. “I doubt they’re gonna start up a revolution any moment from now, so drink.”

“Sir—”

“Drink.”

The way mirth in his voice suddenly vanished almost sent shivers down his spine. Eren nodded, taking another sip. He knew his tolerance limit and he wouldn’t pass it. He only swallowed the liquid to be polite and perhaps, just to keep himself warm. He didn’t intend to be drunk like the older soldier.

“I haven’t,” Eren admitted with a quiet voice. “I haven’t… done it with anyone.”

“Thought so.” Magath chuckled. “When’s your birthday?”

“March thirtieth.”

“It’s still a couple of months from now, huh?” The man yawned loudly, and puffs of warm breaths appeared in the cold air. “Hey, why don’t we celebrate early? I’ll get you the best girl from our place. You can take a few hours off and have fun with her. Think of it as a birthday present from me.”

That place, Eren knew, was referring to the military brothel that was stationed at their campsite. On some nights, those girls came to visit their barracks and perform their duties as the Comfort Women to satisfy the soldiers’ needs. And any other times, officers would stand properly in line, waiting to enter one of the twenty rooms in the brothel to satisfy their sexual desire.

It was always physical, nothing more and nothing less. They were used as toys—objects to fill the men’s thirsts. They were not prostitutes; they were forced to become one. Those young girls were kidnapped from the streets or, more often, deceived by the Marleyan government that they would get a better future if they worked for them. They ended up working as sex slaves—each person serving about a hundred military personnel per month, and if they weren’t cooperative, they would get beaten to death.

Their bodies belonged to the army, raped and tortured.

Eren never came to visit that place. He hated it with all his heart, every nerve of his body shouting in disgust. And whenever those women came to their barracks, he would leave with his shotgun strapped to his back, disappearing into the woods. He preferred spending the night sorting out his thoughts near the frozen lake than forcing himself on some lady he didn’t know. Even the thought of it made him nauseous. It was wrong. Those women never deserved to be treated that way, but Eren was weak and powerless. There was nothing he could do.

“No, thank you,” Eren declined, feeling agitated all of a sudden. “I’m fine.”

“What, do you prefer men?”

“No, Sir. I just…” The boy took a deep breath, calming himself down and trying to sound less offensive. He put a lot of effort into not saying things like ‘I don’t want to commit more sins than I already have done’ or ‘it stands against my values to rape women, unlike you and the rest of immoral idiots here’. After a few seconds of battling inside his head, he decided to utter, “I just don’t feel like it.”

It was safe. It was simple. It was a lie.

“You don’t feel like having sex?” Magath snorted, repulsed by the thought. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

It burned bright, the rage inside his chest. “I just don’t feel like raping someone, Sir.” Not until his sentence ended, did Eren realize that he was almost growling at the older man. His heart plummeted to his stomach. Immediately, he stood in front of his superior, performing a ninety-degree bow. “My deepest apologies, Commander! I was out of line! I will take any kind of punishment for my words!”

Something glinted in the older man’s eyes, but whatever it was, he decided to ignore it. “It’s fine,” Magath said and Eren bowed once more before he scooted back to his position. His heart was thumping loud behind his rib cages.

The boy straightened his back and kept his eyes once more on a group of young Eldians, walking in line carrying twigs in their arms. Their jackets were much thinner if being compared to his, tattered with plenty of holes in them. And when Eren wore a warm, fur hat to protect his hair from snowflakes, they had none. The young soldier felt sorry for them, but it seemed like he was the only one with empathy in this place.

There was a little boy, with cheeks red and scratched by the falling snow, struggling to keep his wobbly feet on the ground. He was carrying more branches than his little arms could handle. The weight was too much and the snow was too deep for him to walk on and he fell, his face hitting piles of ice. The twigs he carried scattered everywhere. He was frustrated but he didn’t cry. Eren was amazed.

But then a soldier came over, slamming the end of his gun to the little boy’s head and screaming at him to get up. He hit him again, and again, and again until Eren could see the tear on his skin, fresh blood dripping down from the side of his temple.

Eren’s hold on his gun tightened.

“Careful, kid,” Magath reminded him, his voice as eerie as the night during an eclipse. Eren shuddered, but not from the cold. “You’re a kind young man, I know that much. But your kind values are the ones that are going to get you killed someday.”

Eren turned his head to look at the man, his eyes weren’t blinking. “Sir…?”

“Listen to me.” Magath locked his eyes with the soldier and Eren felt like he was being choked instead. “These Eldian people are vicious. That little boy you see there may look hopeless now, but he was ready to stab Galliard's neck with a fork just to get more food less than a week ago. And women, especially, are even more dangerous. They betray us. They won’t hesitate to kill us in our sleep. We can’t trust them, Eren.”

Eren stayed still, though his mind was screaming: but we’re not that better either.

“They don’t deserve to be treated like people,” Magath continued, “Treat them like toys. You don’t share feelings with toys, do you? You play with them.”

Eren swallowed, his throat felt like it was made of sand. “And what do I do when I get bored with them, Sir?” the boy asked because that was what the man wanted to hear. Theo Magath didn’t want to witness kindness, sincerity, or mercy. He, just like any other soldiers here, craved power, grief, and lust.

Magath smiled, his eyes shimmering like a proud father’s.

“Then, it’s time to throw them away.”

***

Eren jolted awake when he heard a man screaming. He didn’t realize that he had fallen asleep for a few seconds on his feet, swallowed by the boredom of seeing the constant movements of young men collecting dry branches to build campfires that night. His head spun toward the source, his chest tightening at the sight. There, a few meters away from him, stood a very tall, well-built Marleyan soldier with short, coarse-looking dark hair that reached to his neck. A thin beard decorated his jawline, his smirk was nothing but menacing. His name was Kenny Ackerman.

He loomed tall as he beat a young man—who was probably around Eren’s age—to the cold, freezing ground. The branches fell out of the boy's arms, meeting the earth almost without a sound. A splotch of blood spilled from his mouth when Kenny landed a harsh kick on his stomach, painting the snow like angry lipstick smeared on a blank canvas. His light ash-brown hair was falling over his eyes, concealing them.

Kenny Ackerman was his senior, but even if he weren’t, Eren still wouldn’t dare to stop him. That man was twice his size, with arms strong enough to break his wrists in seconds. Eren’s mind was telling him to not lift a muscle—that if he tried to stop the older man from beating the boy to death, he would meet his end that day as well. But his heart was thumping loud, sending a rush of adrenaline to course through his veins. He was old enough to know better, but his body was filled with young blood. Before he knew it, Eren made a step forward. It was probably his luck when another male appeared, kneeling in front of the soldier to beg for forgiveness.

It was another Eldian, as old as Eren was but seemed five times younger in appearance. He had a mop of golden hair, his body was frail and not as tall as the boy he was protecting. For a split second, Eren caught a glimmer of his irises. They were cerulean, as deep as the bottomless sea, as bright as the cloudless sky.

“Please let me explain,” he pleaded with two hands surrendering in the air, beseeching for mercy. “It was just a misunderstanding. My brother meant no harm.”

But Kenny Ackerman was not known for being kind. He was famous for being ruthless, the death reaper of the army who enjoyed robbing the light of his victim's eyes. While Eren had never taken a life before—be it the Eldians or Marleyan soldiers who assaulted him by pushing him down into a frozen lake in the middle of the night—Kenny had killed hundreds. Eren knew that for a fact, because for every kill he did, that man carved a line on his barrack’s wall. The lines had become so many that Eren couldn’t see the original color of the wall anymore.

Kenny grasped the blonde-haired boy by his neck, lifting his hand until his feet could no longer touch the ground. His blue eyes started to water, croaking in pain as his fingers clawed frantically against the soldier's wrist.

“That fucking brat tried to take a sip of my coffee,” Kenny bellowed, nudging his head to the other Eldian who was lying on the ground, his blood pooling in his mouth. “You think I can forgive him just like that?”

The boy coughed, pale skin turning scarlet as he was smothered by his large hand. His feet erratically moved in the air, trying to find a ground to stand on while his lungs were screaming for air. He was choking, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. A few seconds more and it would be over. A few seconds more then his blue eyes wouldn’t glimmer as radiantly. They would be dark. Hollow. Dead.

But Kenny had a change of heart. Instead of murdering him, the violent man tossed him back to the ground.

“Armin…” The other boy—the Eldian who Armin tried to protect so desperately—called, reaching out a hand to touch his brother who was gasping loudly. Eren felt a shiver running through his spine when he heard him speak in his Eldian language. It was clear that the Marleyan government had declared that all Eldians should abandon their mother tongue. They were only allowed to speak in Marleyan or to not speak at all. Break this rule and you would be starved for two days. Do it again and you’d have your tongue cut off. Hearing how he just spoke to his brother in his native language, Eren thought of two things: it was either he was rebelling or just plain stupid.

Surely, that word had consequences. Eren wasn��t surprised when the Eldian boy received another blow to his stomach.

What he didn’t expect, however, was when Armin slapped his hand away. “Jean!” he screamed. “Know your place!”

Jean looked like he stopped breathing for a second. So many things appeared in his eyes: from being confused to afraid until it finally ended with redeemed anger. Slowly, and painfully, Jean crawled to his stomach and pressed his forehead to the ground, bowing to his punisher.

“I’m sorry,” Jean muttered, his voice quavering and Eren knew that it wasn’t from the fear. It was from the wrath he tried to bottle inside his chest. Eren also noticed that tears were lining down his cheeks, but his sobs couldn’t be heard, muted by his gritted teeth. It was an agonizing sight to behold.

Armin kneeled next to him, imitating his posture, bowing deeply until his forehead met the ground. “Please, Sir… Show us some mercy…”

Kenny guffawed, looking delighted for the power he had over them. He placed one foot on Jean’s head, pressing it down until he screamed when the skin on his forehead broke and bled. “I can’t hear you, little boy,” the soldier said, his smile growing wider. “Come on, apologize some more. I’m sure even pigs like you can do it.”

Eren felt his heart stir. His hold around his shotgun was getting tighter, his nails turning white.

Panic painted Armin’s face as he watched Jean's blood seeping through the snow. “S-sir,” he crawled forward, latching one hand against Kenny's boots. “Let him go—"

“Don’t touch me!” Kenny kicked his face and Armin fell to his side, shaky hands covering his torn lip.

“I’m sorry!” Jean, unable to contain the agony, screamed. “I said I’m sorry, so please!” He sobbed, his face sinking in the snow. “Please let us go…”

Kenny released him with a satisfied grin. “Listen to your big brother, little boy,” he said, spitting on Jean’s limp body. “Know your place.” He took his leave with his chin tilted up in arrogance.

The ruckus ended there. The two boys were still lying helplessly on the ground, trying to catch their breaths and steady their hearts. The crowd around them—another bunch of powerless Eldians—tried to not pay attention to them even when their hands were itching to help. They continued walking with their heads hung low, hugging the branches close to their chest like they were ordered to before the sun sank below the horizon.

Eren felt sick. Everything was wrong. The world was not supposed to roll like this. It wasn’t supposed to resemble hell.

The young soldier walked with hurried steps toward the boys. He was the only one who was brave enough to examine their conditions. Jean, head raised in suspicion, scowled at him when he was close enough. He was like a cornered wolf, a raging flame in his eyes even his whole body was aching. Eren did not mind his anger. He had expected it.

Armin, on the other hand, was simply cautious. “Sir.” He bowed to Eren as he did to Kenny before, with his palms and forehead pressed against the ice. His voice was still quivering, his shoulders shaking both from pain and fear.

“Stand up,” Eren commanded, not too loud, not too firm. “Stand up and hide before the others come to check on you.”

Armin lifted his head, gazing at him with confusion in his eyes. “But…” His gaze shifted to the pile of branches that were scattered on the ground. “T-the branches—I haven’t finished—”

“I’ll tell them you’re done for the day.” He picked the other man up by his arm. “What’s your name?”

Armin tucked his chin down, anxious. “A-Armin Arlert, Sir…”

Eren took an old handkerchief from his pocket—one that his mother gave him during his departure—and handed it to the boy. “Here.”

The shorter boy blinked in bewilderment, perhaps contemplating whether Eren was just playing tricks on him. “S-sir?”

“To wipe your blood,” Eren explained, observing the deep cut on the corner of his mouth. “Don’t use your clothes, you’ll get germs on the wound.”

Armin’s shaky eyes searched his, wanting to decipher what was hidden between them but Eren kept his face guarded. “Y-yes, Sir, thank you…”

“I assume that’s your brother?”

Armin helped Jean return to his feet. “Yes. His name is Jean.”

“All right.” Eren tried to put on a reassuring smile. It was so rare to see a Marleyan soldier smile in such a benign way that it left the two boys stunned. “Armin, I want you to pick up your brother and find someplace safe to spend the night. There’s a lake two kilometers away from here. Keep walking south and you’ll find it. It’s safe, I’m the only one who knows that place. No one will find us over there. Sneak out an hour before dawn. There are fewer guards during that time. I’ll bring you guys some food.”

Jean, who was not as kind and trusting as his brother was, sent him a vicious glare. “Why should we trust you?” he bitterly asked. “Why should we believe that this isn’t just a sick plan of yours to get us killed?”

“Jean,” Armin called, his tone demanding silence from the other man. “Behave.”

“Because if I really wanted to kill you,” Eren replied. “You’d be dead by now.”

Jean didn’t look so assured but his eyes did flash toward the shotgun that Eren held in his hand. His fingers were nowhere near the trigger.

“Go clean up your wounds,” Eren reminded, “If you’re too late, there’s a possibility you’ll get infected. Medicine is scarce around here, even so for Eldians.”

Although he was better at masking it, Armin still seemed stupefied from receiving this kind of treatment, especially coming from one of the Marleyan’s soldiers. “But we—”

“We don't have time to argue,” Eren cut him short, only then did he sound stern. He needed to step away right now before he raised any kind of suspicion. “Just do as I say and keep yourself safe. Please.”

And then he left, leaving the two boys with frowns breaking on their faces.

For the first time in his life, Eren felt good.

For the first time in his life, he finally knew how it felt like to be human.

***

“So your name’s Jean?” Eren questioned as he gave him enough food to keep the boy alive for another day. Jean’s intense light brown eyes shimmered in delight when his nose caught a whiff of bread. His stomach growled, begging for attention.

“Don't call me that,” he snapped back, taking the loaf of bread without saying a word of gratitude. He took a huge bite, chewing loudly as he muttered, “I don’t want a Marleyan calling my name. That’s fucking disgusting.”

“But you’re eating the food I gave you.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m sorry,” Armin joined in, sighing at his sibling's behavior. “He has no manners whatsoever.”

“I do have manners,” Jean corrected, licking his thumb from the breadcrumbs. “But unlike you, I just don’t feel like playing a goody two shoes around those fuckers, including him.”

Eren, weirdly, found his attitude amusing rather than insulting. “Still don’t trust me yet, do you?”

Jean didn’t even spare him a glance. He strolled away, taking a seat at the edge of the frozen lake, picking up pebbles and throwing them aimlessly.

“Jean isn’t always like this, you know,” Armin said, scooting closer to the brunette. They were both out of Jean’s hearing. The blonde male thanked him when Eren pushed a bottle of vodka in his direction. He might not like the taste of it, but it did a great job at keeping his body warm. “He used to be all fun and cheery.”

But now he’s bitter and spiteful. “Him? Cheery?” Eren almost chuckled. “Doesn’t seem like it fits.”

“He was annoying but… Kind.”

The melancholy in Armin’s voice made him wonder. “I guess everybody changed during the war, huh?” And not for the better, Eren mused, turning pensive. Including me.

Armin looked up and saw how the sky was faintly painted with a light shade of red and orange. Maybe they still had a little time to talk before the sun came up and they had to return to reality. “Jean and I aren’t families by blood,” he said, his voice a bit hollow, just like his stare. “But to me, he feels like one. We’ve been best friends since forever so I always thought of him as my sibling. We were neighbors, that was how we knew each other. One day, as we were walking back from school, a group of Marleyan soldiers entered our block and killed everyone in sight. I thought something happened. I thought we were punished. But these men… they were laughing. I got fifteen, I got twenty, they said, counting the bodies. They were playing games.”

It was horrifying, he thought, the fact that these soldiers murdered people for fun. But it wasn’t as eerie as the way Armin retold the story—empty eyes staring far away into the night, his soul breaking with every word he spoke. But his voice was steady. Emotionless. He was numb. The tiny hairs on Eren's nape rose in dread but he kept his lips shut and his ears perked up.

“I invited Jean and his mother into my home since we had a basement we could use as a hiding place,” Armin continued, hugging his knees to his chest, sniffling from the cold. Eren wanted to steal some clothes for him to wear, but it would be impossible for other soldiers not to notice him. “We thought we were safe there when suddenly, two soldiers broke through our front door. Our parents tried to buy us some time to run away and his mother trusted me with her son’s life. I was only ten back then, Jean was just as young. But she thought I was smarter, that I would find a way to keep her son safe. But I was so frightened, I couldn't think. I couldn’t do anything. So I hid in a closet with Jean plastered against me, and we waited until the soldiers went away. I remember how tightly we pressed our hands against our ears because we knew things wouldn’t end well. It only took a few minutes, three gunshots, and a train of laughter coming from the Marleyan men. Then it was all… silence.” Armin breathed deeply. “The next thing we knew, when we stepped down from the closet, our feet were soaked in our parents’ blood. And we covered our mouths as we cried. We didn’t make a sound. ”

Eren sat frozen. He never had the chance to console someone before, and he wasn’t certain whether Armin needed one. Unsure of what to say, he murmured, “I’m sorry.”

Armin smiled, warm as the sunlight. “Don’t be. It wasn't your fault.” He took the bottle from the soldier’s hand, taking another chug. “I’m sorry for rambling like this. What I’m trying to say is that… Jean used to be happy. He was a nice kid, but losing people you love tends to do that to you”

They both went quiet. Armin spent his time staring at Jean’s back, who was now trying to make small cracks on the edge of the lake. Eren, on the other hand, was busy trying to process all of the information he just received.

“Don’t look so sad,” Armin chastised gently. “I didn’t tell you my story so I could be pitied. I shared about my past so you’d realize that even after all these things that happened, Jean and I are still here. Alive and breathing. And it’s partially because of you.”

“Me?” Eren asked, startled. “I barely did anything.”

Armin gave him a knowing look. “I saw you back then. When that guy was strangling me, I saw you holding your gun like you were ready to shoot him. And a part of me believed that if he did hurt me more than that, you would’ve pulled the trigger for me.”

Eren turned scarlet. He wasn’t aware that he did that. Did his body move on its own?

“Am I wrong,” Armin took a closer look at the name sewed on his clothes. “Kruger?”

“Eren is fine,” the soldier said, not liking his Marleyan’s name. Ever since his mother got remarried to a Marleyan man, he was forced to change his family name. It had happened a few years back but he still hadn’t grown accustomed to it.

“You don’t look like a Marleyan to me,” Armin commented. His eyes were scrutinizing Eren’s appearance within every detail, but they were gentle, just like how he spoke.

“My parents were Eldians,” Eren said, a faint sad smile sketched upon his lips as he recalled his past. “My dad died in an accident a couple of years after I was born, and then my mother got remarried to a Marleyan guy. It happened way back before the war. For protection, my mother and I decided to change our names into his family name and pretended that we were Marleyan since birth.”

Armin listened intently. He stayed voiceless for a few seconds until he said, “And so you’re on their side now.”

Eren stiffened, every bit of his movements coming to a halt.

Was that true? Was that where his loyalty stood?

“Sorry,” the other boy hurriedly said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m trying to choose a better option,” Eren quietly answered. “Even when I belong to the Marleyan army, I still think that this is not the way it should be. Being a Marleyan doesn’t mean we’re better than the Eldians. We don’t have the right to abuse, steal, or kill. I—” he realized that he was talking in one breath, his chest felt suffocating. “I just want to change how the world works, but I don’t know how. I’m in no such position to make amends.”

Armin gazed at him with too much going on behind his eyes and Eren wondered whether that was a bad thing or a good thing.

“What’s your name then?” Armin queried. His smile was so delicate, so genuine, and juvenile. “Your Eldian name?”

“Jaeger…” Eren licked his lower lip nervously. It had been a long time since he last spoke it out loud. “Eren Jaeger.��

Armin grinned widely and offered him his hand. Eren took it, a bit awkward as he was not used to having friendly interactions with people. “Nice to meet you, Eren Jaeger.” Armin shook his hand. His smile was a contagious disease. “It’s nice to see that there are still hopes left in humanity.”

The soldier froze for a few seconds before his face warmed in a smile.

“Likewise, Armin.”

***

“Eren!” Armin wrapped his arms around his shoulders the moment they met by the lake again. Several nights had passed by and Eren breathed in relief to know that he looked pretty much the same as when he last saw him. “How have you been, my friend?”

“I’ve been well,” Eren answered, smiling lightly at him as they broke their hug. Jean Kirstein came trailing after him with a familiar scowl in his eyes.

Eren smirked, tossing him a few loaves of bread, along with a fresh bottle of water. “Here you go, Horseface.” They had become close enough to make fun of each other during conversations.

“These aren’t poisoned, right?” Jean asked with an ungrateful tone.

Eren rolled his eyes. “I’ve brought you food for like five times by now and you still ask me that.”

“I was just being careful.”

He snorted in response and Armin laughed, patting the soldier’s back. “Come on and sit with us,” the most affectionate man among them offered kindly. “There’s a lot I want to talk about.”

While Jean was the more unsociable one, Armin was quite talkative and possibly nicer than anyone Eren had ever met. He loved to share his thoughts—mostly about the sea and the sky—and his hopes for a better world. Eren found it refreshing that in a gloomy place like this, he could find someone who was truly visionary and imaginative enough to light up the place with his presence.

“I wish I could marry someone someday, you know?” Armin said, lying on the ground with his arms folded under his head. His eyes twinkled, reflecting the stars in the sky, while his brother was busily munching on his bread with loud noises.

“Armin, that’s not gonna happen,” Jean commented and Eren laughed because while Armin and he usually spoke in the Marleyan language, Jean always talked in his native one.

“What do you mean it’s not gonna happen?” Armin pouted, making him look even younger. “I think I could find a nice woman for me one day.”

“We can’t even find enough food to live by tomorrow if this prick weren’t here to help us.”

Eren shook his head in amusement when Jean rudely pointed at him. Days had passed by and Jean still insisted on calling him with any derogatory term he could come up with instead of his name. “Always glad to help, buddy,” Eren joked, which earned him another glare from the tall boy.

Armin poked his brother by the stomach. “Which is why you should be more grateful toward Eren, you idiot.”

Jean scoffed, continuously glowering at the soldier as he took a large sip of his water. “This is the least he could do for us, Armin. Those fuckers took our families away, remember?”

“Jean,” Armin called, exhaling heavily as he sat up. He sounded a bit more enervated than usual. “Eren is different. Don’t put him on the same page—”

“He’s not different!” He harshly barked and Eren wished Jean could stop speaking like he wasn’t there. “This bastard belongs to the army! He’s not our friend, Armin! He will never be! All Marleyans deserve to die and so does he!”

Eren was stricken aback. Was that how Jean really thought of him? Just another heartless Marleyan with no soul? Even after all that time they spent together?

“Jean!” Armin scolded, his forehead creasing in anger. “You take that back and apologize to him!”

“If he could bring my mother back from the dead,” Jean said, standing up on his feet. “I’d forgive him.”

Armin could only open his mouth but he couldn’t speak. He noticed that the other man was crying when he pivoted on his heel, walking away with a storm raging in his chest. And Armin wondered whether it was from pain, anger, or suppressed frustration. Perhaps everything at once.

“God, I’m sorry,” Armin apologized, returning his gaze to Eren. “You know he doesn’t mean what he said.”

Eren only replied to him with a smile but his heart was shattered.

He didn’t know that he had to take responsibility for the things he didn’t do.

***

“First time?” A Marleyan officer asked Eren with a teasing look in his eyes.

Eren swallowed thickly, trying hard to will himself not to blush as he nodded and stored his gun away inside his locker. The other man snickered, leaning his back against the wall as he spoke to Eren with his arms crossed on his chest.

“I still remember my first time,” he sneered and Eren only listened half-heartedly, showing no emotion. He felt revolted watching these Marleyan soldiers walking past him with arrogance and dirty looks on their faces. How could they laugh so easily after they forced these poor women to satisfy their needs? How could they just throw them away without feeling any remorse or offering a single form of gratitude?

“My friend forced me to do this,” Eren said and he didn’t know why he needed to explain it. Perhaps he just wanted to give himself a chance to redeem the guilt of the sin he was about to commit.

“Ah,” the man slurred, his slanty eyes twinkling. “You all rookies said that at first. But when you’ve done it once, you could never stop. Before you know it, you’re gonna want to fuck them every day, believe me.”

Eren’s fingers balled into fists and he had to put his hands on his back to keep them away from showing. The young soldier only tossed him a smile, not revealing the rage that bubbled inside his chest.

“Shall we get in line, then?” The officer asked with a wink and Eren tried not to slam his cocky head against the wall. Fucking piece of shit.

Eren took the stairs, marching toward the second floor of the military brothel, as the first floor was inhabited by the more ‘experienced’ prostitutes to serve the noblemen in the Marleyan government. As soon as he stepped into the hallway, Eren was met by twenty soldiers already lining up, one soldier for each door. There were ten rooms there in total—each one consisted of a bed and a bathroom for the comfort women to clean themselves up after ‘serving’ their bodies for twenty to thirty men a day.

Eren held his breath down for a few seconds so he wouldn’t vomit. This place was sickening.

“I’d wait to get into that room if I were you,” the previous Marleyan officer said, pointing at the door that stood at the end of the hallway. “She’s a total beauty and doesn’t scream much when we do it with her. You’ll like her.”

As much as he wanted to punch that man, Eren knew his position. He smiled, nodded, and bowed before he followed his direction. He took a deep breath.

Let's just get this over with.

He waited for about ten minutes before a man came out from the room he chose. Eren recognized him instantly. Kenny Ackerman. The same man who almost killed Jean and Armin a few weeks ago just by the strength of his foot. Another bile of rage started to pile in his chest but Eren channeled it down to a polite bow. The taller man zipped his pants, and smirked at the tanned boy before he walked away with his chin held up high.

“Have fun with that whore, brat,” that soldier said and Eren sank his fingers to his palms to keep his fists to himself.

For now, he had to think about something else.

He drew in a long breath, and he did it one more time to stop his heart from racing before he circled his fingers around the doorknob. He turned it open.

The moment he entered the room, his eyes scanned the place for a brief second like how he was trained in war—to always know your surroundings well, they said. Eren noticed the broken wooden chair in the corner of the room. He saw how the dirty bathroom had no sink and no door—only a small tub with soiled water and a piss pot. He noticed how the bed was big enough for two people but it had no pillows or blanket. The sheets were crumpled and the white color had turned into a dirty shade of cream, with splotches of red. And he knew for a fact that those stains on the sheet weren’t just made from blood.

But his eyes stopped moving when he saw a woman lying on the bed with not a single fabric covering her nudity. Eren quickly averted his gaze from the sight, even though all he could see was her back. In that short moment, he managed to notice the purple bruises blooming along her spine, tainting her skin with dry blood.

For a few seconds, he could hear soft sobs coming from the girl’s lips. And when he secretly glanced, he noted how her shoulders were shaking as she hugged her knees to her chest. He didn’t let his eyes linger on her body for too long. He felt like he was being disrespectful to her. Eren knew his friends would’ve laughed at the way he behaved, but he couldn’t force himself to stare even if he wanted to.

The young soldier closed the door behind him and with that small thud, the girl immediately froze. Her sobs were muffled and contained, and slowly, she turned her body around until she was lying on the bed with her eyes on the ceiling.

Eren brought his head down, not wanting to witness any more curves of her body. But before that, he spotted how wet her eyes were and how hollow they looked. Those weren’t the eyes of someone who had the will to continue living. Those were the eyes of the defeated, who were willing to sacrifice their lives just so they could stop living in this rotten world.

“Do it,” she said, her body lying limp on the bed. “What are you waiting for?”

He was petrified to the bones. His mind stopped working.

Eren’s heart thundered vehemently behind his chest. He couldn’t do this. There was no way he could do this. He never even wanted to in the first place, but an order was an order. They were alone in the room. Magath wouldn’t be able to tell, would he? Eren could just pretend.

That’s right, he thought. I’ll just have to pretend.

And so, he said, “Cover up.”

The woman's lifeless eyes grew a bit wide but only for a second before she smiled understandingly. “Ah,” she said, “So, you’re that type, huh?”

Eren frowned, not knowing what she meant and he blushed when she pushed herself up to sit on the bed. “What’s next?” she asked, not looking ashamed of showing her nude body to the man. She kept her eyes in his direction, but her stare was blank as if she wasn’t looking at him, but through him. “Do you want me to bend over too, Sir? Begging you to give it to me?”

“That’s not—” Eren blurted out, face aflame. “Lady, please cover yourself up. I’m not going to do this with you.”

Her smile faltered. “What?”

“I mean,” Eren sighed, turning himself around to face the door. It was troubling to be in the same room with a lady who was so stripped of her conscience that she could no longer care about wearing proper clothes. “I am not going to have sex with you. I’m just going to be here for a while before I go out so they’ll think I’m…” His blush smeared his cheeks. “…doing it with you.”

“You…” Her voice had lost its confidence, and instead of pain and disappointment, he began to hear hopes in her soft voice. “You’re not going to do it with me?”

“No, I’m not,” he said. “So, please… Put on your clothes.”

The atmosphere was thick with heavy tension and pregnant silence. Eren continued to stay mute, only trying to listen to the rustling sounds she’d make when she placed back her robe. Except, there were none.

“Have you dressed properly?” Eren asked, sounding a bit restless.

“I…” She fell quiet before she continued again. “I can’t find my robe.”

His eyebrows sewed together in confusion, knowing well that her robe was lying on the floor, just beside her bed. How could she not see it?

Then recognition dawned on his face.

Those lifeless eyes. That blank stare.

Eren turned around, facing her again and it seemed like she heard the sound of his shoes sliding against the floor. With her body jolting in alert, she hastily wrapped her arms around her front. Eren didn’t let his gaze travel anywhere else but her eyes.

“You’re…” he spoke, lips parted in shock. “You’re blind?” It was more like a statement than a question but whatever it was, that line gave more sense of peril to her.

“Which is something I should be grateful for,” she said, smiling again as if it was the only way she knew to keep her mind sane. “Considering how many demons are walking around this place.” It was an act, Eren noted, a way for her to appear resilient. Fearless, even when her fingers were shaking.

Eren chewed on his lower lip. That sentence couldn’t be any truer.

Cautiously, he took a step forward and she jerked, pulling herself back in reflex. Eren understood then. She spoke like she was used to this kind of treatment, but she was just a girl, scared to her bones. She acted like she was strong, but deep inside, she was probably even more fragile than the first time she was abducted and brought to this place.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Eren spoke, loud enough for her ears to hear but not soft enough for her to stop being terrified of him. “I promise you with my life, I will not hurt you.”

“That sounds like a lot of promise coming from a Marleyan soldier,” she retorted, sounding like she was amused by it but she was not fooling anyone but herself.

“I’m not lying,” the boy said, taking another step and she inhaled sharply. Eren stopped, raising both hands in the air as if he was surrendering. “I’m just… I’m just going to fetch your robe back to you, okay?”

Her lower lip still trembled but she didn’t do or say anything.

Eren kept his eyes to the ground as he walked forward to collect her robe. She kept fidgeting on the bed until she felt soft fabric hugging her from behind. She touched the robe, releasing a shuddering breath at the familiar sense of comfort it gave to her skin.

“Put it on.” Eren’s voice was soft and tender. He kept his eyes glued to her face. “It’s probably only for a few minutes before somebody comes in and takes my place but…” His lips still curved, forming a reassuring smile even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “As long as I’m with you here, you’re safe.”

You're safe… The words echoed in her mind, tugging upon her heartstring. Was there a moment in her life when someone gave those words to her?

Her eyes grew wide and when Eren retrieved his hand, she reached out and clamped her frail fingers tightly around his wrist. His breath hitched in his throat, stunned.

For a few seconds, they just stood there like that. One of his eyebrows was raised in confusion but he didn’t ask questions. He knew she was doing something. He just couldn’t tell what.

“You…” she breathed out, looking up at him with eyes that were too beautiful to be functionless. “You’re not lying…”

Eren blinked twice before his realization sank in. She had been checking on his pulse.

He smiled, affection growing on him. She was smart and cautious. He didn’t even think of that and he was a trained soldier, albeit still new.

“I’m not lying,” he assured her once again. “Can you trust me?”

She swallowed and let him go. Careful not to make any sudden movement, he kneeled in front of her and wrapped the robe properly around her body without letting his gaze drift south. Eren’s cheeks were burning bright but at least he managed to stop his fingers from shaking.

“You’re okay,” he whispered, and her eyes searched his face as if she was taking every bit of his appearance, though he knew that was not the case. “You’re safe with me.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, turning them white. Then, she nodded. Eren was about to sigh in relief when her whole body convulsed. She covered her mouth with one hand and she cried. Hard.

The girl who tried to cover her fear, the girl who acted bravely as she stood against the world, broke apart in front of him.

“Thank you…” she sobbed into her hand, her visionless eyes shutting tightly in gratefulness. “Thank you, Sir… Thank you…”

It felt different than the way Armin thanked him—similar, only her words brought a lot more joy to his heart than he had ever felt in his twenty-one years of living.

He could feel his heart beating. He could feel it race.

He felt alive.

***

“So how did it go?” Theo Magath asked his companion as he rubbed his fingers together to keep himself away from the cold. “Did you like your early birthday gift?”

His scowl almost found its way to his face but he managed to catch himself at the last second. “Yes, Sir. But I’d appreciate it more if we don’t discuss it any further—if that’s alright with you.”

“What, are you shy?” The older man sneered. “Fuck, Kruger, you're no longer a damn virgin so stop acting like one.”

Eren let the matter drop. His seniors could think whatever they wanted to. It wouldn’t matter to him anyway.

“So, what now? Are you going to pay another visit to the brothel?”

“Yes,” Eren said, startling the other man with his answer but he kept his smile to himself. Perhaps next time, he could bring one of his old sleeping shirts for her. It would at least be warmer than just a layer of a maroon satin robe.

“That’s my boy!” Magath clapped him on the back. “Already wanting for more, huh?”

Eren sheepishly smiled, doing his part of acting. Though the joy that bloomed in his chest was too real to be faked. Eren brought his hand up and his eyes lingered on the skin along his wrist—on the spot where she touched him. He remembered the way she thanked him and it bloomed again. The rush of happiness suffused his chest. A spark of joy from being able to give someone a chance to learn that life was an adventure worth living for.

***

Eren knocked on the familiar wooden door and opened it without waiting too long for permission. If he had waited, it would only raise suspicions from the fellow soldiers that were waiting in line after him. He couldn’t afford that to happen.

“Good evening,” Eren greeted, bowing a little to the lady in front of him. He felt a bit silly as he knew she couldn’t see. “It’s, umm… It’s me again. From the other day.”

The girl’s body went still and her expression showed that she was putting on her defensive demeanor. She kept her ears ready, trying to decipher if the soldier who let her go the other day was really as kind as she thought he was.

“Why are you here?” she asked, almost too coldly to his ears. “You said you didn’t want to sleep with me.”

“That’s right,” Eren smiled. “I only came here to talk.”

“Talk?” she repeated, covering her body with her robe and Eren blushed when he caught his eyes dancing along the curve of her waist. “What do you want to talk about, Soldier? How to use women for pleasure?”

It wasn’t like her spiteful words didn’t hurt him. They did. But he didn’t want to let it show. “You should have more respect for yourself,” Eren said and she almost growled. He gulped. Did I say something wrong?

“Respect?” She snapped. “You want to talk about respect? My mother sold me here to get enough money to stay rich for the rest of her life. I have to sleep with more than twenty men a day just so I could get some food to live through the night. And when I wanted to die, they stripped me out of my clothes and hung me outside for everyone to see how low I’d become. You want to talk about respect? That's the respect your people gave to me!”

Every word that came out of her mouth felt like a javelin piercing through his chest. But Eren knew well that she had no other way of channeling her anger and frustration. A few days ago, she thanked him for the few minutes of break and forgiveness. Now, she realized that it wouldn’t contribute much to easing her pain so she broke apart once again. It wasn’t fair that she lashed out at him, she knew that too. But when you can’t even stop your own feelings from hurting yourself, would you care about theirs?

She was breathing hard, her chest heaving up and down.

After waiting a few seconds in silence, he softly asked, “Are you finished?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, hot angry tears streaming down her face. He wanted to brush them away with his thumb but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. “I am not good with words,” Eren diffidently uttered, “And I don’t know if you would accept my apology on behalf of my country, but…”

Eren slid down to his knees, making a dull thud sound once they met the floor. He bowed down to her, his forehead pressed against the floor. “I beg for your forgiveness,” he said, eyes shut closed. “I apologize for the actions my country has done to you. You don’t deserve this. None of you do. I am in no position to grant you anything to pay back for the suffering you’ve endured. I don’t have permission to let you go, no matter how much I want to take you away from here. I am weak. I’m powerless. All I could do right now is bow my head down to you, ashamed and filled with guilt, hoping that you could forgive me, and—” He paused, a bit out of breath. “To ask you for… one thing.”

Her breathing was ragged and Eren lifted his head to gaze into her eyes.

“I want you to continue living,” he stated, and he could see the little jolt her body made, startled by his line. “I will not say that your life will be easy. I will not say that happiness will come to you by the end of this day or tomorrow. But I can promise you one thing: if you keep on living, I will try within my power to make some moments in your life, even if they are just measured in minutes or seconds, worth living for.”

She felt weak, her taut muscles loosening as she released the air she’d been holding. She closed her eyes, two droplets of tears falling to her cheeks.

“I will visit you every day.” Eren’s voice was like honey, sweet and comforting. “I will stay here if you want me to. I will read you books to keep you entertained. I will guard the door so you can have a few minutes of sleep. I will be your eyes and I will tell you when the cherry blossoms trees are blooming. I will describe the color of the sky and I will try every day for the rest of my life to find a way to release you from this place.”

“Why?” she asked, a crack in her voice. “Why would you do that for me?”

“Because ever since I met you,” Eren began and he could feel himself smiling. “I feel like I’ve found my chance to do something good for people, even if it was just only for a little. I saw how grateful you were when I let you go a few days ago. And I felt this joy spreading in my chest—so much that it scared me, and I want to feel that again. I want to make you feel that again. And that was the very reason why I’m doing this. Not only for you but for myself too.”

And she didn’t have to check on his wrist this time to know that he wasn’t lying.

***

This is the fifth time I’ve seen her and yet, she still appears to be scared of me. As if she still doubts my intention.

When I walk into her room, she seems to remember the sound of my steps. Her face is still guarded, her lips not forming a word. But she’s no longer angry or sad. She’s just there.

Breathing.

And living.

And that’s all I could ask for now.

***

“Soldier…” She called out with half-lidded eyes. Another week had gone by, or maybe even two, she could not tell. But he had visited her often enough for her to recognize his footsteps the second he walked into her chamber. Her wrists were still bruised from her previous encounter with a man who smirked wickedly when he exited her room. Eren had never felt so vexed with someone as he was back then.

He closed the door behind him, stepping closer to her spot. “I’m here.” He kneeled beside the bed, waiting for her to speak more. She was lying on her back, weak and breathless. Her voice sounded so hoarse as if her vocal cord was about to snap. Eren heard her painful screams before and every memory carved more scars on his heart.

“I’m sorry…” He lowered his head, unfamiliar with the pain. His teeth were cutting into his lower lip, his emotions churned like a hurricane. “I’m sorry…”

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.

She sobbed quietly, reaching out a shaky hand. Soft tears started to fall from her vacant eyes at his apology. “It’s okay,” she said. “It’s not your fault.”

Eren cupped her hand with both of his warmer ones and brought it closer to his lips. His hot breath caressed her skin, soothing her bruise. “I’ll stay here,” Eren whispered, gently stroking her hair. “You don’t have to think about anything else as long as I’m here. You can sleep now…”

When she felt him lacing their fingers together, she breathed out in relief. “The skin of your palm…” A timid smile found her lips. “It’s so rough…”

Eren chuckled, even when it still felt like his chest was being torn open. “Must be because of my traini—” He stopped abruptly, his heart pounding. She was placing his hand on the side of her face, the callousness of his palm pressed against the smoothness of her cheek. Her lips bowed as she closed her eyes. She didn’t say a word, while his mind was jumbled with them.

His warmth was comforting. The texture of his palm was familiar. In his touch, she found her serenity. And just like that, her breathing became even. She began to fall asleep, drifting away from every wound and agony that life had inflicted on her. Right before she waned completely into her dreamland, a confession broke past her lips.

“Don’t leave me…”

Never had he felt his heart thrashing this wildly before. She was so beautiful. So pure, and so broken at the same time. Why did she have to go through all this pain?

“I won’t,” he promised her with a voice so soft—it became a lullaby to her ears. “I won’t leave you. I’ll stay with you forever.”

I’ll stay with you for eternity.

***

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately,” Eren confessed, sticking a tree’s branch inside the firewood the three of them made that night. Armin sneaked a glance at his face, probably analyzing his expression to understand how Eren was feeling at the moment.

“Me too,” Jean muttered, yawning loudly as he threw a rock toward the frozen lake. Eren began to realize that it was a habit of his. “But you know the difference between you and me, Jackass? I don’t whine like a fucking girl about it.”

“Jean,” Armin scolded and his brother only shrugged. Eren mirrored the blonde boy’s apologetic smile, making gestures that he didn’t mind Jean’s words.

“Have you ever had a nightmare, Jean?” Eren asked and the other boy snorted loudly.

“My whole life is a nightmare,” he grumbled. “I wouldn’t know the difference even if I had one. And how many times do I have to tell you? Don't call my name!”

“Please ignore my brother and his evil plan to spread despair to the world,” Armin joked and Jean threatened to throw pebbles at him. “What keeps you awake at night, Eren? Thinking of some lucky girl?”

While Jean snorted again, Eren began to smile sheepishly. “Sometimes… I guess?”

“Aaw, our little hero has finally found his heroine,” Armin cooed and Eren shoved him lightly by the shoulder.

“Shut up. It’s not always like that.” Eren huffed. “It’s more than that. I haven’t had a good night's sleep in a while because…” He paused, staring at the firewood with weary eyes. “Well, I guess it all started on the first day I stood on the field with a gun in my hands. I’ve had my fair share of training as a soldier, but what you see in real life is… different than anything you’ve imagined it to be.”

“Why?” Armin queried. Jean, who didn’t even bother to listen, yawned loudly as he placed his head on his brother’s lap. Eren gave them both a look but Armin waved a hand nonchalantly, muttering, “Ignore him. He’s been this clingy from the first time we met. I’m used to it by now.”

“Please. I know you like it, Min.”

“What, having a grown-ass man’s head on my lap? Very unlikely.”

And Eren smiled because this scene he witnessed right there, reminded him how it felt like to have a family. It had been a while since he last saw his mother, and only God knew how much he missed her at the moment.

“When I began my training,” Eren revealed, “The only thing that mattered to me was how to protect my country. How to not get your comrades killed in battles, and how to survive. But now, I see that that’s not how it works anymore. Being a soldier means we have to be ready to take lives. To murder innocent people. People like you and Jean.”

Armin stayed silent. The fire danced beautifully in his eyes, a spark of amber gleaming inside a sapphire.

“I don’t want to kill anyone.” Eren sounded as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I don’t want to be a murderer. I want to be someone who can protect. Someone who can help those in need. Someone who can make them happy.”

Armin smiled at him, pressing a comforting hand on Eren’s shoulder.

“Someday you will be, Eren. Someday you will be.”

***

“Unwinds this world that ever turns,” Eren recited, his voice was velvety when he vocalized the words that were written on the poetry book he held in his hand. “Slow it to a week. Where daybreak brings her honey kiss.” Just for a few seconds, he let his eyes take a journey to her lips, tracing the shape of her mouth, beautiful like a cupid’s bow. He caught himself, the blood that rushed to his face streamed down to his chest, pumping his heart harder. “And twilight, earthly tenderness, with night her rapt mystique.”

The lady was lying on her side, her eyes staring blankly at the spot where she could hear Eren’s voice the most. His tone was gentle and his voice felt like a symphony to her ears. It was easy to let go but she kept her eyes awake. She hadn’t trusted him that much to let herself sleep when he was in the same room with her. The previous night was an exception. Her body had felt so weak—drained—and she didn’t have the power to put up a fight to stay awake.

“Unwind this world that spins so fast,” Eren continued and she thought she could listen to his voice forever. Husky but young, awkward but soothing. “Slow it to a day. When clouds flow back against Time's bend, and dying dreams reverse their end. Lost skiffs return to bay.”

The way the sunlight hit her skin made it glow and Eren felt a bit nervous. She was, indeed, a beauty. Art to be admired. No wonder she was the jewel of this place. No matter how many bruises bloomed from those forced kisses she had, no matter how many handprints and cuts from dirty nails appeared on her spine, she still looked like she was the purest form a soul could ever take in this world.

The book in his hand had been forgotten, his eyes lingered on her curves, but they were not the eyes of a hungry man. They weren’t fueled by lust. They were… entranced like a child lying on the grass, watching the stars taking shape into pretty constellations.

“Soldier…?”

He jolted awake from his stupor. “U-unwind this world that twirls so wild,” Eren read after he cleared his throat, shifting his gaze away. “Slow it to an hour. When friendships paint a lonely sky. Spry dancers, all bounds defy; Fresh buds elate in flower.”

With every word, her eyelids became even heavier and she felt his voice getting nearer but, to her surprise, her thoughts remained calm. This was comforting. He was comforting. He was, by all means, her safe haven.

She fell asleep.

“Unwind this world that whips around,” Eren whispered, returning the small poetry book to the pocket of his beige coat. He kneeled beside the bed, brushing her stray hair away from her face with delicate fingers. “Slow it to that time.” He adored everything about her. The way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheekbones; the blissful look on her face as she sank deeper into her dream, her parted lips, and the soft breath that flowed through them. “When our goodbyes were yet of tongue, and Cupid's arrow had just been flung.” Her cheeks were still wet with tears that never seemed to stop, purple bruises blooming on her porcelain skin.

How can I save you?

Closing his eyes, Eren leaned in and planted a tender kiss on the spot between her eyebrows. The lady stirred a little in her sleep and he reciprocated with a smile.

“Our love, a love sublime.”

***

“All right, now let’s get down to business,” Theo Magath stated, blinking Eren away from his thoughts. “Our witnesses claimed that there were a bunch of Eldians trying to steal something from our storage room last night. We’re gonna find out who they are.”

Eren felt an eerie feeling swirling in his gut. These last few days have felt like the sweetest dream that he staggered as he stepped back into reality. “And what do we do when we find them, Sir?”

Magath scoffed loudly. “Kill them, of course. What, you want to have a tea party with these fuckers? Drink vodka near the campfire?”

Eren swallowed hard and decided to trail after the man with his semi-automatic rifle strapped to his back. A few minutes later, they arrived in a warehouse where they kept some Eldians inside. The officers informed them that those civilians were homeless, begging the Marleyans for a shelter to keep them safe, but Eren knew the truth. They were hostages.

“I’m gonna make this quick,” Magath said, hanging his gun on his shoulder as he stepped forward from the heavily armed group of soldiers. “Who entered our storage room without permission last night?”

The civilians, there were probably more than fifty people, cowered and hung their heads low. Eren scanned the place, unsure of what he was looking for until he saw Jean and Armin standing among the crowd. Armin was watching Eren with wary eyes, while Jean fearlessly glared at every Marleyan soldier there.

When there was no answer, Magath raised his shotgun to the roof. “I asked you a question,” he shot once and the bullet hit the ceilings. A couple of older women shrieked in surprise while the rest of them, like Eren, tried not to flinch. “And I demand an answer.”

Things were bad, Eren knew well. And with the way Jean was boring a hole into Magath’s head, there was a fat chance Eren knew who was the culprit. It wasn’t the first time Jean had ever done something out of the ordinary.

Was it really you, Jean?

“It was me!” To Eren’s astonishment, it was a woman who raised her hand. Her body was plump and her hair was gray from old age. Her cheeks were bloated red and she was crying out of fright. “O-officer, I’m sorry,” she fretted, already kneeling on the ground with her arms raised in the air. “I was looking for medicine. My child is sick. I’m afraid he’ll—”

A shot and splatter of crimson blood painted the floor.

Eren held his breath as he watched the old woman fall to the ground with a bullet hole in her head. Her eyes were wide open, her pupils blown. She didn’t even get the chance to say her last words.

The place broke into chaos.

***

Eren came into her room with his head lowered; his shoulders heavy with guilt, and a thousand different kinds of pain that emerged at once.

Her ears perked up at the familiar creaking sound of the door and she knew that it was him right away. It was only Eren who always opened her door slowly as if he didn’t want to intrude on her time and be a lousy company for the day. But it wasn’t like that at all. She was waiting for him. She craved his presence—this man who gave her a small taste of heaven on earth.

She smiled a little before she remembered that she wasn’t supposed to trust him. He was a Marleyan soldier—she shouldn’t trust him, no matter what. There was a possibility that he was using her to his advantage. But what? What did he want from someone like her? With more days passing by, it became harder for her to figure out. Eren had been—and still was—the nicest person she’d ever met.

But it was getting quiet that night. Too quiet.

No “Hello, it’s me again”. No “How are you feeling today, Lady?”. No “Would you like me to read you some poetry again today?” Nothing. Eren just remained silent.

“What’s…” She started, eyebrows furrowing deeply. “What’s wrong…?”

The soldier lifted his head and the pain was so evident in his eyes, it was probably a good thing that she was blind. That way, she couldn’t share his pain and it was all right. He was grateful for it. He’d never want her to know this kind of emotion.

“Nothing,” Eren replied, trying to smile even when he knew she couldn’t see it.

“What’s wrong?” she asked again, sounding firmer this time but not demanding. He knew she would respect him if he didn’t want to talk. It was the fact that he soundedlike he wanted to speak that forced her to ask for more.

He broke apart.

“I saw my commander kill someone today,” Eren quavered, blurting out the words he’d been dreading to say before he could think it through. He cast his gaze downward, his stomach lurched at the sight of dry blood coating the edge of his boots; his nails were now clawing against the lines of his palms. “She was an old woman, wanting to cure her child of sickness and he killed her—just like that, without saying anything. And in front of everybody, I just...” Eren ended with a heavy sigh, filled with nothing but anguish and hidden frustration.

She listened, not just to his words but his tone. He never sounded so… torn before.

“I know people die all the time,” Eren added quietly, burying his face in his hands, wanting the earth to swallow him whole. “I know that, but must they die for doing good deeds? Where’s our humanity? Where do our feelings lie?”

She held her robe to cover her body as she carefully climbed down her bed. She winced when her muscles screamed at her, sore from her previous encounters with those rough soldiers but she kept her posture still. Eren was too drowned in his own emotions to notice her walking toward him.

“And the worst part was,” he weakly said, gasping as his breathing became short and rapid. “I just stood there and did absolutely nothing.” His hand moved to his chest, clutching against the front of his coat, his heart rate escalating quickly. “I don’t —” he choked, his muscles turning taut. “I don’t know what was going inside my head at that time but—” He was reaching the brink of his sanity, he could feel it. He could feel how his body was giving up on him too. Sweat broke upon his temple, his knees wobbling under his weight. “I just—all I could do was just watch. I could’ve done something but I just—”

He couldn’t breathe. Panic rose to his throat, blocking his airways. His chest burned, his eyes shaking. “I can’t—”

He stopped breathing completely when a set of frail fingers landed on his cheek, sliding against his skin before they framed his face. “Breathe,” she told him.

He swallowed, fixating his gaze on her delicate features. He mimicked her action, took a deep breath, and released it. Inhaled and exhaled. He did it a couple of times, watching her for every second that passed by as if she was the rope that kept him hanging at the edge of the cliff.

And when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his shoulders, she began to pull him back from the ledge.

He was drowning in her sweet embrace. “You’re okay,” she soothed, carefully stroking the back of his hair. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

Eren went stiff for a few seconds before he shattered to pieces. But it was all right as she was there to hold his heart—every piece of it. His anxiety attack slowly morphed into a small sob when he whispered, “I just watched her die. I just… I didn’t do anything to stop him…”

She didn’t say anything. She just hugged him with her arms and let him bury his face in the crook of her neck. A pair of broken souls, seeking salvation and solace from each other. Eren was human and he still had his humanity in him, that was what she believed and it was enough. It was everything to her.

Because without humanity, humans are just empty shells filled with nothing but the ability to sin.

***

Eren raised one hand to wave at Armin the second he saw the boy standing on his usual spot near the lake. Armin swayed his hand back but he didn’t smile. Something was wrong.

Eren knew it had something to do with that incident. “I’m…” Eren inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry for what happened the other day.”

“You mean the killing?” Armin asked, sounding casual and it hurt Eren even more. He took the plastic bag from Eren’s hand, stuffed with food and water. “Thank you for the bread.” His smile seemed familiar, albeit more exhausted. “Again. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you.”

Eren didn’t smile as he didn’t feel like it. But it was okay. Armin understood him well. He always did.

“Where’s Jean?” Eren questioned, noticing that the tall man was nowhere to be seen.

“We fought and he took off somewhere.” Armin plopped himself down on the hard ground as he stared across the frozen lake. The night was empty without the sounds of pebbles being thrown. Eren didn’t realize just how much Jean played a big part in his life.

“Don’t worry, Eren. He’ll be fine.”

Eren caught the turmoil in Armin’s voice. He leaned down, taking a seat next to him. “What did you guys fight about?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Armin sighed, rubbing his temple with his fingers. “Jean wanted to get out of here. To flee out of the country.”

“What?” Eren quaked, frowning deeply. “But that’s impossible. You’ll get yourself killed before you could—”

“I know, that’s what I’ve been telling him.” Armin slipped his fingers between his strands, tugging at his roots in an attempt to subdue his frustration. Eren had never seen his friend look this emotionally wrecked, not even when he had shared stories of his past. “But after what happened yesterday, some parts of me thought that maybe he was… Maybe Jean was right. Maybe it’s time for us to get out of here.”

Eren still couldn’t find the logic behind it. “But—”

“Eren,” Armin cut him off sharply. “That woman who got shot… She was my friend. She took care of Jean and me when we were younger. Imagine how it feels like to have one of your closest friends get their head blown off to bits in front of you.”

Eren swallowed the vomit that was about to come up. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“I can’t live like this,” Armin breathily confessed and Eren felt his heart drop. “Jean certainly can’t too. It’s… I can’t sleep at night, Eren.” Armin closed his eyes, his face contorting in pain. “I can’t sleep knowing that I might not be able to wake up tomorrow. I can’t—” His breathing became heavy and Eren could witness beads of cold sweat starting to appear on Armin’s temple. “I can’t protect Jean like this. I don’t want him to die and—”

“Wait, Armin.” Eren moved to kneel beside him, furrowing his eyebrows as he examined his face better. It was quickly turning pale, almost ghastly. “Are you okay?”

A trail of blood flowed down from Armin’s nose and the blonde boy immediately brushed it off with his finger, smearing scarlet on his cheek. “I’m fine,” he said, trying to mask it with a laugh. His fingers shook quite badly and the frown on Eren’s forehead became even more evident. “I’m fine, Eren. It’s just… a fever.”

Eren scrutinized him harder. “It looks much worse than that…”

“Hey, don’t worry about me,” Armin assured him. He snatched the handkerchief he once gave to him from his pocket. Eren’s eyes largened in shock. The handkerchief was stained with blood, almost drenched with it. Armin used it to cover his nose, his voice muffled by the fabric when he said, “I get nosebleeds all the time. It isn’t a big deal.”

It was a lie. Eren knew it was a lie.

“It’s you…” the soldier murmured, the realization hit him like a truck. “That woman didn’t try to find medicine for her son. It was for you.”

“Eren—” Armin cut himself off with a cough, one that was violent enough for his entire body to shake. Eren could see a splash of blood falling to the ground when Armin bent forward. He was choking on thick blood that was just as black as the night.

“Armin!” Eren hurriedly picked the man up, panicking at the sight. “Oh God, Armin, you’re—”

“I’m fine!” He screamed, pushing Eren away with a hard shove on his shoulder. It was the first time Armin—the boy who always found a reason to smile even on the hardest day—ever looked so distraught. “I said, I’m fine! Just stay away from me!” He coughed loudly once again, more blood falling onto the snow. He fell to his knees, gasping with his palms sinking into the ice.

Eren stood at the side, his brain stopped functioning. He had one hand in the air, ready to help the other man, but Armin never permitted him to.

Since when? Eren thought, Since when did he start feeling sick like this?

Armin’s rosy lips were turning blue and his skin was so pale, Eren could see his veins swarming underneath it.

He’s dying.

“I think it’s better…” Armin breathed out heavily, wiping the blood away from his mouth. “It’s better if we don’t meet again, Eren.”

“What?” Eren gaped. “Armin, it’s okay. I can help get you some medicine—”

“No!” Armin shouted, the sorrow in his voice was so vivid, it sent goosebumps breaking on Eren’s skin. “No, you can’t. You shouldn’t. I don’t want anyone else to sacrifice their lives for me. No—”

“I’ll be fine—”

“They all said that!” Armin was so desperate to get his point across, his eyes starting to water. It wasn’t anger that he felt, it wasn’t frustration. It was just… fear. “They said they’d be fine. They said they wouldn’t get caught. That they’d get me some help. And what happened then? They all died because of me—”

“Armin—”

“If you—” Armin’s chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “Eren, if you think of me as a friend, you’d do this for me. You’d stay away from me and you’d keep yourself safe. That’s all I want you to do.”

Eren separated his mouth, ready to form another protest but Armin was looking at him with agony in his eyes, one that didn’t come from his disease or something that was killing him inside. Armin was pleading, begging him to do as he said. He couldn't handle more grief than he already did.

“Please…” Armin whispered, his lower lip trembling. “Please understand... I can’t lose anyone anymore. Especially not you and Jean.”

And those words were the last ones Eren had ever heard coming from the man. Armin never showed up near the lake anymore, but Eren occasionally saw him talking and smiling with Jean when he was on patrol. Sometimes Armin would greet him with a smile but his eyes told him to stay where he was. Eren obeyed.

Because as long as Armin could still breathe and smile like that, it was enough. Eren would just be happy to stay where he was.

***

“It’s me,” Eren greeted the moment he entered the room. “Remember my voice?”

The girl lifted her head, her unseeing eyes slightly growing wider and Eren wondered if it was hope that was written behind them. Eren closed the door behind him and the way the soft thud reverberated through the air made her smile a little.

As he was the first soldier that entered the military brothel that day, he was happy he could see her sitting on the edge of the bed with her satin robe placed properly around her figure. Eren couldn’t resist thinking about how pretty she was. She was indeed the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on. It wasn’t just the color of her eyes that captivated him or the softness of her lips that left him wondering at nights just how amazing it would feel to have them brushed against his own. Her heart was beautiful too, perhaps even more. It had been broken so many times and yet she still had her kindness and strength to offer him.

But Eren knew that in a half-hour from now, some ruthless men would barge in through her door, and they would paint her body in vain. And he would just… do nothing. As always, he would do nothing.

He clenched his fists. You are weak, he loathed himself. Isn’t there something you could do?

“Of course, I remember…” she whispered, probably more to herself and his heart warmed. The raging hatred he felt toward himself was contained.

“Is it okay if I come closer?” Eren politely asked and she looked stunned. He wondered if it was the first time someone had ever asked her that. She nodded once, her lower lip caught between her teeth.

Eren walked with a palpitating heart, but he stopped a meter away from her bed. He could only be brave enough to stare at her properly when she was covered up like this. Her hair was a tangled mess as they didn’t provide a comb or any other toiletries in the room. But he could imagine how beautiful her strands would look, how soft they would feel, if she was just a normal girl, walking her way to school. She looked young—probably even younger than he was, though he still didn’t dare to ask. Her eyes—although they were functionless—he could tell they held many secrets behind them. There was a bruise on the corner of her mouth, and Eren pondered just how many men had stolen innocent kisses away from her by force.

She was a rose, losing her petals every day.

“I might be blind, but I can tell you’re staring,” she said, smiling a little, but it wasn’t flirtatious. It was like a mask she tried to put on whenever she felt frightened or uncomfortable. Or embarrassed.

Eren coughed once, rubbing the tip of his nose as he looked away, flushed. “I… I wasn’t, uh,” he cleared his throat, “Staring.”

She settled one hand around the sash that hugged her robe close to her body. Is it her habit? He mused. Something that she’d do to protect herself from the eager men?

“How old are you, Soldier?”

“Twenty-one. Almost twenty-two.”

“You’re new, aren’t you?”

Eren nodded but then he remembered she couldn’t see. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“How long have you been in the army?”

“About three months.”

She opened her mouth but decided not to speak more. Eren raised his head to sneak another glance at her face and the Eldian girl looked like a porcelain doll—so pretty and perfect in one way, but also so fragile and destructible in the other.

He felt awkward standing in front of her, just gawking at her like that. Slowly as to not startle her, he folded his knees and kneeled in front of her. Their eyes were now at the same heights. She took a sharp gasp, probably assuming that he was going to do something to her but she quickly exhaled in relief when nothing happened.

“I think it’s time for us to start calling each other our names, don’t you think?” the soldier offered with a smile so sweet, it was like a dream. “I’m Eren. Eren Kruger. May I… know your name?”

She gulped hard before she tossed her gaze to her lap. “You don’t want to know my name,” she said, “And you shouldn’t have told me yours.”

“I’ve visited you every day for the last few weeks. Is it so wrong for me to want to know your name?”

“Yes,” she firmly said.

Eren’s eyebrows knitted together. “Why?”

“When we learn somebody’s name, we grow attached to them,” she whispered. “And I’m not someone you should be attached to.”

Eren went into silence because somehow, her line sounded too despondent as if it had a deeper meaning than just ‘you-shouldn’t-love-your-enemy’. Perhaps she wasn’t afraid that he would become attached to her. Maybe it was the other way around.

Hope bloomed in his chest, painting colors on his cheeks. She was adorable.

“Fine,” Eren said with a small huff, his smile impish. “You know my name but I don’t know yours. That’s fair.”

Her face became worried. “Are…” She nibbled on her lower lip—another habit of hers that she did whenever she felt anxious. “Are you angry?”

“I’m certainly not happy,” Eren teased, his mouth separated in a boyish grin. It was unfortunate that she couldn’t see how handsome he looked. “But it’s okay. I can manage.”

She looked unsure and Eren boldly took her hand. She gasped but it was almost inaudible. Eren’s hand was a comforting weight above hers. “How do you tell if someone is angry or not?” He asked her.

“By…” She swallowed. “By the tone of their voice.”

“And do I sound angry?”

“No…”

“There you go.” He rewarded her with a gentle stroke of his thumb along her knuckles. He flipped his hand, letting her fingers run along the lines of his palm, remembering him in her own way. “What else?”

“By… their expression…”

“And how can you tell when you can’t see it?”

She took a deep breath and when she exhaled, it was shaky, but Eren squeezed her hand, comforting her and encouraging her to do what she wanted. “Go on,” he whispered, so soft, so gentle, that it made her heart stir a little. “You can touch me.”

I want you to.

She was hesitant, and Eren's gaze fell to the way she was chewing on her lip. “Then…” She started. “Excuse me…”

Carefully, she untangled her hand from his and landed her quivering fingertips on the side of his face, her eyes searching aimlessly as she traced the shape of his jawline. Eren’s heartbeat was right in his ears, deafening. He struggled to control his breathing. Every touch she left him felt like fire dancing on his skin.

She smiled, noticing how tense he was. “Relax, Soldier.”

“I am relaxed.” No, he was not.

Eren closed his eyes and couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Her touch was faint, almost like she was still scared of him, but it gradually began to change. She caressed his features, trailing her fingers from his cheekbone to his nose, going back to his jaw before they went to the corner of his mouth.

“Do I look angry to you?” he asked, his lips grazing her palm and she shivered in return. She didn’t expect his lips to be so soft.

“No…” She glided her thumb along the curve of his mouth. “You’re… You’re smiling.”

His chuckle was light and airy. “Yes, I am.” Because of you.

He leaned closer to her touch, pressing his cheek against her palm. He closed his eyes, sighing. “You’re so warm.”

“You’re freezing,” she murmured back.

“Yeah, I’m a bit sensitive to cold.”

“Is there anything else you're sensitive to?”

He blushed, suddenly becoming ten times more conscious of her touch. “I mean, like, sensitive to dust,” she explained further, knowing how he was clenching his jaw to keep himself composed. “Or the light, or caffeine—”

“I love coffee.” She was learning more about him, not just his appearance but everything else. Eren felt like he was going insane. “It’s been a while since I had one.”

“Oh…” She committed everything in her memory, her heart swelling in joy as she understood him a little better. “What else do you like?”

“Hmm…” No one had ever cared enough to ask him that. “The spring, maybe? It’s not too cold and it's not too hot. It’s, uh… nice.” Eren hated himself. He sounded like a toddler. “And the cherry blossoms. They bloom in the spring.”

“How do they look?”

“They…” He was entranced for a second by the curiosity in her eyes. She seemed almost like a child, excitement and hope glimmering in her eyes. “They’re like, umm, small pink flowers. They’re beautiful but they only bloom for two weeks. After that their petals start to wither, but to me, that’s what's so beautiful about it.”

She tilted her head cutely to the side. “Why?”

“Because they look like they're dancing with the wind when they do,” Eren explained, trying not to be distracted by the way she was tracing along with the shape of his cheekbone. “The sky is clear, so blue and bright, and the colors of their petals just complimented it perfectly. It looks like a painting to me.”

And when she smiled at his words, he added in his head, you look like a painting to me.

“I love the way you see things,” she commented, a soft giggle breaking past her lips. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“What color are your eyes?”

“What do you think?” She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, which made him laugh a little. “Easy there, Ma’am. Don’t want your head to explode from overthinking.”

She pouted and he was surprised. So she could make that face too, huh, he marveled in joy.

“Umm…” Her finger followed the bridge of his nose. “Blue?”

“What kind of blue?”

“Light blue? Like the sky?” Eren shook his head and she could feel it. She tried again. “Dark blue, then… Like the sea.”

Eren frowned a little. “Did you learn that from books?”

“No.” She caressed his ear, running her fingertips across the shell. “I lost my vision when I was five from an accident. But I've seen enough and I remember them well.” Sorrow spread through his chest but Eren didn’t let it show. He knew she didn’t want to be pitied. “So, what is it?” She swerved the topic back. “Are you like the sky? Or the sea?”

Eren curved his lips. “My eyes are green, actually.”

“What?” She pouted again. “That's not even close to blue. You’re teasing me.”

He laughed. “I’m sorry.”

She felt it. She felt the way his face looked when he laughed. He was… handsome. “Like… the color of new leaves?”

“A bit darker than that.”

“Hmm…” It felt like she was staring straight into his eyes. Eren gulped, his heart thrashing wildly inside his rib cages. After what felt like forever, she grinned, “Must be like emeralds then. Pretty.”

Pretty was a term he was never acquainted with. It felt strange to his ears, but every other part of him loved it. He mumbled something under his breath.

She missed it. “What?”

“Yours are prettier,” he spoke a tad louder. “They’re like… crystals. So clear and…” He felt lightheaded with how much blood was rushing to his head. “So beautiful.”

The girl felt lost, not knowing how to react. How do you respond to being called beautiful after going through months of being treated like you were worthless?

Eren took a hold of her hand, which had stopped caressing his face. He curled his fingers around hers. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” She smiled diffidently. “I was just… startled. I didn’t think you’d call them beautiful.”

He wanted to correct her. It wasn’t just her eyes that were breathtakingly gorgeous. It was every part of her, every inch of her skin, every piece of her soul, she was beautiful inside out. But when he opened his mouth, he could only say, “They’re beautiful because they’re honest. When you’re happy, when you’re scared, you always keep your face guarded but I can see how you truly feel through your eyes.”

She turned bashful, vacant eyes shifting away, burned by his gaze. “Your eyebrows are, umm, thick.” She returned to their earlier topic. She was no longer touching him but she remembered enough. “Do you frown a lot?”

He was frowning now. “Uh, yeah… I guess.”

“Don’t. You’ll look older.” She placed her thumbs at each corner of his mouth. “Smile.”

“Sorry?”

“Smile for me,” she said, feeling his cheeks warm. “Please.”

Eren took a shaky breath, and he tried. It was more like a wince, but she appreciated the effort. “See?” She giggled, rubbing her thumbs against the corners. “This fits you better. You’re beautiful when you smile.”

He almost groaned in shame, unable to hold her praise. “S-stop calling a man beautiful.”

“Are you blushing?”

“I’m not.”

“Feels like you are.”

“Oh, be quiet.”

She chortled lightly. Her muscles were loosening, her posture way more relaxed than before. “Is your hair black?”

“Brown,” Eren corrected, moving her hand to his head and letting her card her fingers through his hair. “A darker shade of brown.”

“Oh…” She blinked her empty eyes, her smile stayed intact. “It’s so soft…”

“Umm… Thanks.” He sounded so nervous, it was mortifying for him. He knew she could tell but he still prayed to God so she wouldn’t notice.

But she did and she took her hand away. “I’m—I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s okay,” Eren hastily said, leaning his head into her touch again. “I’m just… embarrassed.”

“I thought you said you weren’t blushing.”

“Fine, I am,” Eren admitted, a darker shade of red painting his cheeks. “You’re the first person who’s ever touched me like this.”

Her hand stilled a little. “You’ve never done anything with a girl before?”

“No…” Eren confessed. “I’ve never had any interaction with females around here. It’s just… with you.”

“Oh…”

Eren observed her expression. Was that sadness or joy he witnessed behind her eyes just now?

“Hey, are you—” His words were interrupted by the sound of fists banging against the room’s door. He could hear another soldier shouting, “Hurry up!” from the other side. Eren knew it was his signal to go.

The girl in front of him turned tense, her shoulders started to tremble in fear. “Hey,” Eren said, immediately taking her hand between his. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m here.” But although he wanted to promise that with all of his heart, he knew he couldn’t stay for long.

“Hurry the fuck up, soldier!” Came another yell from the man.

He placed his hands over her ears, a weak attempt to muffle the sounds. “You’ll be fine.” He could hear his voice breaking, his forehead pressed against hers. “They won’t hurt you as long as I’m here.”

But they both knew that Eren couldn't turn his promise into reality.

He didn’t know what he was doing, or what he woulddo. He was only stalling, buying her some time to ease the panic that bubbled in her chest but then what? A minute or two would pass and then what would he do?

God, if only I could find a way to save her.

“Eren,” Her voice was breaking his heart. It was clear that she was scared to her bones. “They’re going to—”

“No, it’s okay.” He pulled her into his embrace, cupping the back of her head and letting his lips graze the soft skin of her temple. “I’m gonna stay here with you. I won’t let them hurt you.”

She wanted to hide and sink deeper into his embrace but she couldn’t. She would get him killed if she did. She wouldn’t do that to him. “No.” She placed a hand on his chest, pushing him away. “You can’t stay.”

Eren broke away. “There’s no way I could leave—”

“No,” she insisted, taking her hands away from his and hugging herself tightly. “Please. There’s nothing you can do. They’re here. You have to go. Now.”

Eren’s mind was running through a thousand different scenarios, trying to find a way to break her out of this place during this limited time they had, but before he could settle on one, the front door was kicked open.

“What took you so long, Newbie?!” A large man with a gray beard—Darius Zackly—shot a dangerous glare toward him. Eren rose to his feet, hiding the girl securely behind his back.

“Sir, she’s sick,” Eren tried to sound convincing. “Her body is weak and she needs some rest. I beg for your permission to let her go for the day.”

“Eren, stop…” she whispered but he only stood even more protectively in front of her.

“And why should I care?” The older soldier spoke up. “She’s here to please me. I don’t have to do anything for her.”

Anger spiked up in every corner of his mind. “But she’s—”

“Eren!” Her voice was still muted but her tone was harsh. She had one hand clutching tightly to the back of his uniform. “You need to leave.”

Eren was frustrated. Why was she doing this? Didn’t she know that he was trying his best to save her from her misery? He was losing his mind but when he turned around, he noticed she was smiling with her empty eyes. But that wasn’t a smile of joy. It was a smile of knowing what was best to do for the person you cared about.

She reached up a hand and caressed his face again. “I’m okay. I’m used to this,” she said softly and for a moment, all his anger and distress radiated off his body. “Thank you for giving me the best few minutes of my life.”

Those words were the last things Eren could hear before two soldiers hauled him away from her room.

***

When Eren entered her room later that night, she was screaming at the top of her lungs, trying to distance herself as much as possible from him. She had her back pressed against the wall, her hands raised in front of her. “Go away!” she shouted—no, pleaded; her voice filled with shivers. She was nude from head to toe, and Eren would’ve looked away if he wasn’t too shocked over the horrified expression she had written on her face.

“W-wait, it’s me.” He felt a surge of panic rising in his chest. “It’s me—Eren. You don’t have to be afraid—”

“GO AWAY!”

Invisible hands jabbed a knife through his heart, doing it repeatedly with every word he heard coming from her mouth. “Please…” She was wailing, sobbing violently until her knees lost their strength and she slid down to the floor. “Don’t hurt me anymore, please… Enough…”

His heart was crushed by the broken whimpers she emitted. He had one hand hanging in the air, about to take a step forward when he heard—

“Just kill me already.”

Eren froze to his feet, staring at her naked body with wide eyes filled with shock. He saw fresh cuts on the side of her thighs when she hugged her legs to her chest, burying her face in them. Her frail body trembled ferociously as she kept whispering, “Don’t hurt me… Don’t hurt me, please… I beg you…”

He felt it. He felt her pain. He felt her fear. He knew she was at her limit. And Eren was scared.

With an anchor tied to his feet, he began to stride forward. He was being as careful as he could, not wanting to make any sound that could surprise her. He kneeled in front of the lady, gently laying his hand above hers.

“It’s me…” he murmured, hearing his heart shatter. “You don’t need to be afraid. I won’t hurt you.”

Remembering the lines of his palm, she slowly lifted her head. Her stare was blank, her eyes were swollen. Her cheeks were both damp with tears and blood.

“Eren…”

He almost smiled but he couldn’t. Aside from the agony he felt, there was a wave of rage and disappointment, one that he held toward himself. He promised he would protect her but look at her now.

“Let’s get you back to bed, okay?” he offered her. When she gave him her permission, he gathered her body in his arms. He could feel her bones sticking underneath her skin. How much had she eaten for the past few weeks? Did they let her starve?

“You shouldn’t look at me,” the lady said as he laid her down on her bed. She curled up into a ball and turned away from him. New injuries were blooming along her backside. Purple bruises coated her spine, and angry bite marks formed on her tailbone.

Eren reached out forward. “Are you okay—”

“Don’t!” She wailed, clamping her fingers against the sides of her head as she sank deeper into her sheets. “Don’t look at me—I’m… I’m disgusting.”

Maybe it was easier if he cried at the sight. Perhaps that way, he wouldn’t have to feel like he was being sliced open.

He tried to look for her robe but when he found it, the fabric was torn apart and another emotion took over. It was anger. Eren was young, he barely had control. So instead of putting an end to the seething flame in his chest, he wanted to embrace it. He was furious.

“Who did this to you?” he asked without thinking, and the second he heard the words, he felt ten times worse. How could he ask that? How could he even let himself think of revenge when she was still scared from her previous encounter with those violent soldiers? How could he put his rage on top of her well-being?

So, he took a deep breath and apologized. He took a seat on the edge of her bed and he realized that it was the first time he ever let himself be near her like this. She curled herself into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest. The strands of her hair managed to cover some of her skin but Eren could still see the bruises. Slowly, he took off the outer jacket of his uniform and wrapped it around her body like a blanket.

He laid down next to her, turning to his side so he could face her. He pressed his cheek against the sheet and reached out for her hand, but she shook her head no and pressed both of her palms to herself. She was still shaking and he felt helpless. How could I ease your pain? “You’re not disgusting,” he whispered. “You’re beautiful.”

“I’m nothing,” she sobbed. “I’m just a whore—”

“You’re not,” Eren said, moving closer to cup her face and lift it to meet him. “You’re a lady. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.”

She melted under his touch, her soul cried under his praise. They pressed their temples together, their eyes closed, breathing each other's scent. “I’m sorry,” she murmured between strained whimpers. “I’m sorry I shouted at you.”

“It's okay.” Eren stroked her hair. “I know you didn’t mean to—” He cut himself short when she took a hold of his hand. Tears were still falling from her eyes but her forehead creased, questioning something. She covered the back of his hand with her palm, guiding it to cup her face.

“You’re shaking…” She uttered and that was when Eren realized that he was on the verge of breaking apart as well. “Why are you trembling, Eren..?”

Yes, why was he? He didn’t even know her name. She wanted them to act like strangers so why was he feeling like this? Why had he become so… attached? He thought that he could play the hero—that saving her would give him a purpose in life. To make sure that he had a heart that was not yet tainted, unlike the rest of the soldiers here. But that wasn’t just it, was it? There was something more.

“I don’t know…” he whispered and he was being honest. “I guess, I’m just… Scared.”

She reached out a hand, trailing a finger along the corner of his mouth. She frowned sadly when she realized that he wasn’t smiling. “Scared…?” she asked.

“I was afraid that you were gonna lose yourself,” Eren admitted. “I was afraid that you were going to give up on life and that I would… never be able to see you again.”

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. “I’m tired of this, Eren.”

“I know,” Eren breathed out heavily. “I know. I’m trying to find a way to get you out of here.”

“No,” she immediately said. “You can’t. If they find out—”

“I don’t care.” He brought her into his arms, their bodies meshed together in a sweet embrace. “I have to try. I don’t want to lose you.” I can’t lose you.

She sank her face into his chest. Tonight, he felt warm. “What if they kill you?”

“Then, so be it.” He exhaled, burying his nose in the strands of her hair. “I’ve never truly lived anyway.”

***

“I know you were waiting for me,” Eren shyly teased as he laid himself next to her in her bed. Months had passed since their first meeting and she had grown accustomed to his presence. Every night, whenever he was off duty, Eren always visited her, reminding her that every day was a day worth living for. He pulled her back from the edge. He gave her hope. He was her cure, her sanctuary, a moment of dream that existed for a few minutes in her real life. He was her happiness.

The soldier had spent weeks trying to build a plan to let her escape, but it was nearly impossible. His superiors had thrown him suspicious looks whenever Eren went out of her room, but thankfully, they didn’t do any further than that. Eren had been lucky, but he knew one day his luck would run out. It was only a matter of time.

It was the beginning of autumn when they lay on their sides on the bed, with their faces facing one another. Eren took his time remembering every part of her features. The little moles, the dip of her spine, the shape of her nose. And the way small bones were protruding under the thin skin around her collarbones. Until that day, he never truly observed her nude body, even when he had plenty of chances to do it. He didn’t want to be disrespectful. He didn’t want to look at her without her permission. She was a person with feelings, and that was how Eren always looked at her.

“I wasn’t waiting for you,” she said, playing with his hand. Eren realized that she loved to intertwine their fingers together. She found it to be comforting, but to him, the intimacy was almost overwhelming. But he loved it. He loved everything about her.

Through his hand and the beating of his pulse, she could tell whenever he felt distraught. When he was happy, scared, amused, or even flustered—she could tell them all. Maybe he was just too transparent, or maybe she just cared too much. But the thing she loved to do the most was touching his lips, feeling his smile materializing underneath her fingertips, and picturing how pretty it was in her head.

“You were,” Eren said, chuckling a little. “I’ve visited you every day for the past few months and you still can’t get enough of me.”

“That’s not true,” she said with a soft smile. He was entranced by her beauty, just like he was a second ago and how he would a second later.

I want to keep you, he wanted to say, I want to keep you for myself.

“Eren Kruger isn’t my real name,” Eren confessed, looking at her with affection in his gaze as he shared more secrets with her. “Kruger is a name my step-father gave to me. I’m not a Marleyan. I’m just like you, born and raised in Paradis. An Eldian.” It felt like he had taken a load off his chest. “Eren Jaeger. That was… That’s my name.”

“Eren… Jaeger…” she echoed his name in a whisper, sounding like she was adoring his name and that made his heart thump faster. She smiled tenderly, reaching out to touch his cheek. “I like it.” She traced her index finger along his sharp jawline. “It somehow suits you better.”

Eren swallowed, silently praying that she couldn’t feel the burning heat that rose to his cheeks. He decided to distract himself away from her, thinking about the sun or those beautiful leaves that had turned colors outside the window. He had this urge building in his stomach, so much that he was afraid of himself. He couldn’t trust his mind, especially the butterflies in his stomach. He would kiss her if he thought about her for another second.

And then she spoke and time seemed to freeze.

She just spoke her name.

“S-sorry?”

“My name,” she sheepishly smiled, tucking her chin down. “That’s… my name. Is it—is it weird?”

“No…” He was still shaken by the fact that she finally trusted him enough to share her name. “It’s…” He cleared his throat, heart beating triumphantly. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s nothing,” she said, turning away to the other side so she could hide her face from his gaze. To her surprise, Eren went closer and hugged her from behind, gently wrapping his strong arms around her waist and burying his face in the crook of her neck.

“E-Eren…?”

“You’re everything.” His breath fanned her nape, causing her to shiver. He closed his eyes, his lips almost brushing against the skin when he whispered, “You’re not nothing. You’re everything to me.”

She smiled to herself, feeling so happy that she could just die like this in his arms and she’d have no regrets. Had she ever felt this complete? This... serene? She’d never thought she’d find a sliver of joy in this place but she did. And it wasn’t just a piece. It was him.

You’re everything to me too, Eren.

“Can you say it?” She asked him bashfully. “M-my name… Can you… call me by my name?”

Eren smiled, as gentle as the spring shower. He embraced her tighter, his lips lingered near her shoulder and she expected them to brush but he didn’t let them. Not until she permitted him to.

Then he formed her name and she felt like she was being reborn.

The girl cried. For the first time, her eyes felt hot but there was no wound inside her chest. For the first time, she learned that there was beauty in this world, that her pain didn’t last for eternity. For the first time, she felt infinite.

And it was because of him.

She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, taking a sharp breath before she turned around in his arms. “Eren…”

His thumb skimmed over her cheek, erasing her tear stain. “Hmm?”

Thank you for giving back my heart. Thank you for collecting the pieces and mending them together. Thank you for protecting it. “Thank you.” Her smile was like a light in the darkness. “For coming into my life.”

Her fingers found his chin before they moved upward, her eyes turning crescents when she felt him smile. He leaned close, lightly brushing the tips of their noses together. “You’re very welcome.”

Thank you for reminding me I have a heart.

***

Eren woke up in a room he was not familiar with. The smell of antiseptics, cleaning agents, and medical supplies filled the air, making him scrunch his nose in discomfort. His eyes were heavy, his muscles felt sore, and his mind was losing fragments of memories. He couldn’t remember what happened to him, or why he was there. When he looked out of the window, the night was dark with no stars. Even the moon was hiding behind gray clouds. He knew he should’ve gone somewhere by then. He should’ve been there in her room, witnessing another one of her precious smiles before he carved it in his mind. But when he tried to sit up on the bed, pain reverberated from his lower abdomen, spreading like wildfire. He groaned in agony, his eyebrows deeply furrowed.

“Easy, there, easy,” Theo Magath said, standing from his seat beside the bed. “You don’t want to open your wound.”

Eren hissed. It still felt like someone was slicing the skin off his belly. “What happened?” He asked, letting his commander check on his wound.

“We were attacked,” Magath explained. “Somebody tried to kill me with a knife and you threw yourself in front of me. You saved my life, kid.”

“Me?” Eren frowned, not remembering any of it. “I… I did?”

“Yeah, you got a long cut on your stomach but thank God you survived,” the older man patted his head. His smile was almost fatherly, which didn't seem to fit the rest of his features. “You knocked your head when you fell so you had a concussion. Maybe that’s why you don’t remember anything. You passed out for two days.”

Two days?

“Oh…” Eren calmed down a little, but his eyebrows were still stitched together. That means she has been waiting for me for two days. Eren swallowed the thought and hoped that nothing bad happened to her. “Who attacked us?”

“I don’t know,” Magath answered, his face glinting in anger. “There were only a few of them. They wore something around their head so I couldn’t make out their faces.”

“Were they Eldians?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Magath snorted, sinking back into his chair with his arms folded on his chest. “We need to find out their names. Once we do, I’ll kill them with my bare hands.”

Something felt strange. If they were indeed Eldians, it would be the first time they revolted in this camp. No one had ever started a rebellion against the soldiers before. They weren’t brave enough. Or stupid. So, what changed?

“Think I owe you my life,” Magath thanked him, forcing Eren to cast aside his thoughts for now. “Do you need my help with something?”

“Oh, no, it’s—” Then, he blinked, recalling something. “Actually, yes. I do need your help.”

***

The girl woke up in the middle of the night, feeling just as restless as she was when she went to sleep fifteen minutes ago. Being locked up in the military brothel only meant that she could only sleep for three hours a day, while the rest of those hours were used to keep the men company. Her body withered in the first few months here, but her heart forced her to be strong. Time passed by, the season changed, and so did she. She adapted to the environment, both physically and mentally. It was not enough to keep her emotions composed every time, but it was enough for her to survive for another day.

She never had a night visitor before—at least, not during her resting hours. The guards wouldn’t permit anyone to visit the brothel at this time, except perhaps the top officers. But those knocking sounds… These footsteps… They sounded familiar.

Then her name was spoken.

Her eyes grew wide as she rose on her bed, her mouth parted in a small gasp. “Eren—”

A calloused palm was clamped over her lips, but the sound of his restrained laughter resonated in her ear. “Don’t be too loud,” Eren whispered, grinning. “The guards don’t know I’m here.”

But she couldn’t keep her excitement to herself. Quickly, she raised herself to her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling the man into her bed. “Eren,” she vocalized his name like it was her favorite word, her breath felt pleasingly warm on his ear. She hugged him tightly to her chest, his lean fingers tangled in her hair. “Oh, Eren, I’ve missed you!” Tears were starting to form behind her eyelids. I thought I lost you...

“I’ve missed you too,” Eren replied, followed by her name. She giggled, letting him brush her tears away before they stained her cheeks. Eren thought she looked even younger right then.

He explained the reason why he hadn’t been able to visit her in the last few days, but he was unable to be perfectly honest. “We needed more men, so I went on a patrol at night,” he said, which was true, but he left the part where he was unconscious because of his wound—one that almost ended his life for good.

She didn’t suspect him, only nodding her head understandingly. “How could you get in here, though?” she asked. “It’s not visiting hours yet, is it?”

“I got help from a friend.” Eren let his lips brush her fingertips when she traced the shape of his mouth, wanting to feel his smile. “I can stay here with you for the rest of the night.”

She looked like she was seconds away from crying again when she embraced him. Eren rested his elbows on the sheets, hovering above her. Eren was careful not to crush her body down with his weight, and he was trying not to move too much. His injury was still healing.

“Ouch, ouch,” Eren hissed when her knee grazed his stab wound.

“W-what?” she asked, panicking. Her blind eyes searched the air. “What is it?”

“You just kneed my wound,” he replied, chuckling as he grimaced. He rolled to his back, gritting his teeth to contain the pain. The bed dipped a little from his weight.

She rose, gently settling a hand on his chest. “Where is it?”

Eren carefully tangled his hand with hers, guiding it down to his lower abdomen. She could feel thick bandages underneath her fingertips. “Don’t you dare poke it, okay?” he joked but she wasn’t laughing. Her face was solemn, deeply worried.

“What happened?” she queried, her eyebrows knitted in concern.

“Accident at work.” He tried to keep it simple. “It’s not a big deal. It’ll heal.”

But she wasn’t satisfied with that answer.

“Hey, I’m fine,” Eren repeated, tittering as he stroked her cheek. “Don’t worry about me.”

She rolled her lower lip between her teeth. Her palm was pressed against the back of Eren’s hand that was cupping her cheek. “Eren…”

“Hmm?” he hummed. Just a single touch and he felt like he was paralyzed with happiness. “What is it?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” she softly said but in such a serious demeanor that his smile began to falter. “I don’t... I don’t want to lose you.”

Eren peered into her eyes. His heart became warmer and everything felt better in a way. He slowly sat up, framing her face with both hands.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he convinced her, rubbing comforting circles on her skin with his thumb. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

She smiled and closed her eyes, reveling in his touch before she kissed the inside of his palm. His face reddened almost instantly, shocked by the sudden intimacy and how such an innocent, tender gesture could light his skin on fire. “I think I've mentioned this before… Your hand is so rough.” She took his other hand, kissing the same spot that caused shivers to run down his spine. “But your hair feels so soft. Why is that?”

His mind was a blank canvas. He lost his words, maybe even his voice. So it surprised him when he found himself forming a question.

“Can I kiss you?”

She stiffened, her eyes were left unblinking. Her stare was as empty as ever but Eren could tell the effects he had on her. She wasn’t repulsed by the thought. She was… embarrassed.

She was so irresistible, almost like the devil herself. A beautiful, beautiful devil that could easily lure him away from heaven.

She nodded, shaky but it was permission, nonetheless. Eren drew a deep breath. His heart was racing a thousand miles per hour.

They sat on the bed, their pinkies brushing against one another before Eren lifted his hand and settled it carefully on the side of her face. She shut her eyes, her lower lip quivered and Eren leaned in, his stomach somersaulting.

He kissed her, but not quite on the lips. It was on her cheek, but close enough that she could taste his breath on her tongue if she wanted to. He released her, his viridian eyes not brave enough to meet her gaze. “Was that… Was that okay?”

She was confused, baffled. “Why didn't you kiss me on the lips?”

He blushed. “Y-you expected me to kiss you there?”

“I—” She mirrored his expression. “I just thought you’d—I thought you’d… want to…”

Fuck, he thought. Her innocence was her finest seduction and Eren was just a boy, too weak to resist temptation. “I want to!” He promptly said. “God, you don't know just how much—” He kissed her. He still had words to say but he didn’t have the patience to say them. He kissed her firmly on the lips, his fingers resting on her jaw, holding her in place. It was his first kiss but Eren did it like he was running out of time. There was zeal, there was passion, there was love. He was taking her breath away, as much as she took his. He was thinking about everything at once, then none at all. All he cared about was how soft her lips felt underneath his. How perfect they were. And how he could never want to let her go.

She could barely keep up, burned by his touch. “S-slow down,” she gasped, fisting the fabric of his shirt.

That stopped him at once. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, immediately breaking away from her. “I’m sorry,” he begged, his hands itching to comfort her but he kept them restrained, afraid that they would frighten her. “I’m so sorry, that was—I don’t know what took over me. Are you okay?” He examined her face closely. “Did I hurt you?”

Did I scare you?

It was so clear to her just how guilty he felt over one vigorous kiss. But he got it all wrong. She didn’t want him to stop. She just wanted to take it slow, so she could feel him better. Learn about him better. She wanted to memorize his taste, wanted it to linger so she could understand the emotions he felt inside. “Ren,” she said, “I liked it.”

“W-what?” His face was aflame. “You did?”

She nodded. “I… want you to do it again.”

Eren swallowed hard, and when she gathered his face in her hands, he stopped breathing. “Can I… do it to you this time?” She was diffident about it, which made her even more adorable, and sensual, in his eyes.

“Y-yes, please.”

She smiled at his response, and he could see how nervous she was. Eren didn't close his eyes as she leaned in. He wanted to see everything, wanted to feel everything. Her lips were on his skin, but she failed to land them on the perfect spot. Her kiss was pressed against the corner of his mouth and she broke away with a frown.

“You missed my lips,” Eren said, holding back his smile.

She was flustered, but unlike him, she was quick to regain her composure. “You expected me to kiss you there?” Her smile was a tease in itself.

Eren laughed. “You are driving me crazy.”

He didn’t let any second go to waste. He shortened the gap and tugged her close. The kiss was young and hasty, and just as reckless as he was as a person. She was clutching to his neck as if she was about to drown, and Eren felt something swirling in the pit of his stomach when she parted her lips to let him in.

“Keep you,” he sighed into her mouth as he laid her down on the bed once again. “I want to keep you… God, you’re beautiful.”

She let out a muted gasp when Eren moved his lips down to her neck. She carded her fingers through his hair, while her other hand was locked with his, pinned against the sheets beside her head. Eren was gentle and passionate at the same time. Everything felt overwhelming.

“Eren…” She gasped when he pressed his body against her, their lips molded together as if they were originally one. “Eren, I—”

“I love you,” Eren professed before she could finish her line. He broke away, gazing deeply into her eyes. Sometimes he wished she could see him back, but he realized that she did. She always looked at him in her own ways. She understood him better than anyone, better than himself.

She glued her hand on his chest, and she smiled when she looked up at him. “Your heart is pounding, Soldier.”

Eren laughed softly. “It’s kind of a package deal when you’re confessing your love to someone.”

She nibbled on her lip, reaching out a hand again and Eren bent his head down so she could press it against his cheek. “I wish I could see you,” she said, sighing softly as she trailed her fingers along his sharp jawline. “You must be so handsome.”

And handsome he was. Body, mind, and soul—Eren Jaeger, to her, was perfection.

“This...” She started, leaning forward to catch his lips in a chaste kiss. “I always love it when you smile like this,” she said, running her index finger across his lips. “I could imagine it vividly in my mind. The innocence of it… The beauty…”

“I am hardly innocent, my lady.” Eren’s husky voice was almost seductive when he kissed her fingertips. She let one of them slip between his lips and shivered when she felt how warm he was.

“True,” she agreed, smiling timidly. “Because sometimes, it’s not just a smile, is it? Sometimes it’s a smirk. Like a teasing, boyish smirk.”

Eren chuckled but he stopped abruptly when she slowly pushed him away. He followed her lead, watching her sit on the bed. Her robe slipped down her shoulders, revealing enough skin that looked so soft, it left him dizzy. She laid back down on the bed, abashed when she felt his eyes ravishing her body for the first time.

“Come here,” she shyly said, gesturing to him to come closer with trembling fingers.

“A-are you sure?” he squeaked out and she laughed a little, getting even more embarrassed than she already was.

“Yes.”

And with her consent, Eren pressed down against her again, colliding his warmth with hers, sinking into her embrace, and breathed in the same air. She smelled sweet, like apples and peaches. While to her, Eren tasted wild and fresh, like the pine trees after the storm.

They moved slowly as passion came second. Their bodies spoke devotion, the lips only formed praises and language of love. Eren kept their hands intertwined whenever he could, and when she moaned, he made sure that it was in the form of his name.

“I love you, Ren,” she said breathlessly. She could feel his pulse inside her body in the part where they were connected. “I never thought I could love someone but I do. I love you so much, it scares me.”

He felt the same way, and it left him wondering why. Why was he scared? Was it because there was very little chance of them having a future together? What if they didn’t have a future? What if he’d die during the next war? What if her life ended in one of the soldiers’ hands? What if their eternity only existed until the next break of dawn?

There was a rush of feelings and his chest hurt because he couldn’t contain it. He channeled it through his kisses that grew even more feverish as more seconds went by. Eren, she noticed, always kissed her like time was about to swallow him whole and their days together would end in a few seconds. But then she realized maybe it was true. Their days were indeed numbered. Moments like this couldn’t last forever. Eternity would end in minutes if you didn’t have the freedom to make your choice.

With that thought in mind, she embraced him again, running her fingers down his spine and raking them back up when Eren curled his tongue around hers.

“Eren...” Eren loved the way she called his name. She made him feel worthy. She made him feel loved.

When Eren held her that night, he was gentle and loving. But at the end, she began to cry, burying her face in the crook of his neck. “I...” she sobbed softly to his shoulder. “I’ve never been this happy in my entire life.”

He cradled her in his arms, kissed her hair, and whispered how much he’d love her for the rest of the days they had together. If he had more time, he would’ve described how happy she made him feel. How just a brush of her leg against his sent warmth to his every nerve. How every touch of her hand gave him more life, more reasons to live. How every kiss from her lips managed to set his soul on fire.

But time was off-limit, and they spent their last moment fulfilling her wish. “Tell me a poem.” And he did. He recited his favorite one, the one that he’d memorized by heart. She listened intently with her head on his chest, her fingers drawing designs on his skin. There was nothing but bliss on their faces. They were in serenity.

“What made you love poetry?” she questioned him when he was finished.

“My mother. She used to read me poems instead of bedtime stories before bed.”

She smiled, her eyes drooping at the sound of his rhythmic heartbeat. “Have you written one before?”

“I’m not very good with words.”

She didn’t buy it, not even for a second, but if he didn’t feel like revealing it to her yet, then she wouldn’t force him to. “Do you think I can write one?”

“Of course, you can,” Eren replied, playing with the strands of her hair. “You just need to find some inspiration and, well, a piece of paper and a pen, I guess.”

Inspiration, she ruminated. Her inspiration seemed to only revolve around him. But that was it, wasn’t it? That’s what I should write about. “I’ll write you one someday,” she promised him. “I don’t know where I can find a paper and a pen but…” She tarried, moving a little so she could plant a kiss above his heart.

Eren shivered at the contact. “I-I’ll bring them to you later.”

She did it again, parting her mouth this time to taste his skin. “I’ve forgotten how to write.”

He draped an arm over his face, blushing madly. “I’ll write—” he nearly moaned. “I’ll write it down for you.” She chuckled at his reaction, pulling away to give him a moment to breathe. Eren exhaled in relief. Another kiss from her lips and he would’ve made love to her again. “What is it going to be about?” He questioned. “Your poem.”

“About you.” To her surprise, she didn’t feel so embarrassed when she said it. "About the kindness you’ve shown me. About how you saved me, right when I needed to be saved.”

He turned a bit gloomy, his eyes weary as they were transfixed to the ceilings. “I haven’t saved you yet,” he mumbled, his voice hushed.

“You have.” She convinced him. “You’ve saved me more times than I could count. I wouldn’t be here today, if it wasn’t for you, Eren.” I would’ve taken my own life that day if you weren’t there.

Gratitude glowed inside him. “I could say the same about you.”

They shared a kiss, tasting each other's smiles. “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Eren said, shifting her lips to her nose, her cheeks, and her temple as he spoke. “Why don’t you just write a poem about us?”

Her spirits brightened. “I think I could do that.”

“Be sure to talk more about me, though. You need to show more of the love you have for me. And not just about my handsome face.”

She giggled. “Haven’t I loved you enough today?”

He held her chin between his fingers, smiling as he leaned close. “Mmm, not enough.” He looked into her heavenly eyes with infinite adoration, and their kiss was perfect.

She drifted away not long after, falling into a string of sweet dreams of a handsome boy with brunette hair and kisses that tasted like summer. Eren let her drowse, let her rest, let her smile in her sleep.

“Forever,” he whispered, brushing his lips against her forehead one last time before he let exhaustion take over him. “I’ll keep you like this with me... Forever…”

***

An hour later, Eren woke up with gentle lips placing lingering kisses on the tip of his nose. The twenty-two-year-old boy slowly opened his eyes, still heavy with sleep. “Hey,” he said, smiling sleepily.

“Hi,” she responded with a soft smile and Eren wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her close. He closed his eyes again when he felt her lay down her head on his shoulder.

“Thank you for the hairpin,” she whispered in his ear, referring to the ornament Eren placed in her hair when she was asleep.

He hummed drowsily. “Do you want me to describe it to you?” he asked and she nodded. Eren rubbed his eyes awake and scooted back to the headboard, laying his bare back against the wooden surface. He tugged her close gently by the hand and she followed. The soldier rearranged the hairpin on her hair, clipping her bangs so they wouldn’t fall to her eyes.

“The hairpin looks pink in color,” Eren began, tucking her stray locks behind her ear. “It’s shaped like a cherry blossom, tiny but different from the others. But that’s not what I’d like to describe to you. That’s not what I want to see.”

“Hmm?” She cutely tilted her head to the side in curiosity.

“These lips right here…” Eren pointed by grazing his thumb along with the shape of her mouth. “Are the ones I always remember before I go to sleep. The way they curve when you smile, how soft they feel. It makes me want to kiss you.” He leaned in, granting her a chaste kiss. “Again.” He repeated the motion, gently brushing their lips together. When he pulled away, she could still feel his warm breath on her skin. “And again.” Her heart fluttered when he teased her mouth open, just enough to get a glimmer of her taste. “And again.” He pecked her one more time until she giggled softly in front of him. “Until I realize that maybe I don’t want to sleep at all. Maybe I just want to stay awake and kiss you forever.”

“Liar,” she said, playfully pushing him away by his chest. “You’re always sleepy.”

“No, I’m not,” Eren replied, chuckling. He sighed contentedly when she returned to her position, lying her head above his heart, hearing the constant thumping sounds and how alive he was.

“Eren…”

“Hmm?”

“What does eternity feel like?” she asked, her visionless eyes staring at the air.

“A very long time,” Eren murmured against her hair.

“Then keep me for eternity, will you?” It wasn't just a line, it was her plea.

His frown broke upon her words, noticing the change in her tone. “What—”

“Promise me,” she breathed out. “Eren, promise me you’ll remember me forever. Even after this. Even after everything. Even if things suddenly change and I—”

Eren straightened his back, gathering her frail figure into his lap. “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She nodded but when she buried her face in the crook of his neck, Eren felt wet tears splashing against his skin. “I don’t want you to leave,” she sobbed into his arms. “Eren, please don’t leave me…”

“I won’t,” he said, kissing her shoulder. “I won’t. I’ll stay. I’ll keep you for eternity, remember?”

But Eren knew that in another few minutes from now, their reality would come crashing down. Another soldier would come barging into the room and he would try to explain that this was his fault. That he was the one who stole the key from Magath. That he was the one who sold himself for a woman’s heart.

And their eternity would end.

And promises would just be another word that ended up in vain.

***

“Hey, what happened?” Eren asked another soldier, his chest constricting. An ominous feeling shrouded his thoughts, even when he could barely understand what was going on before him.

More than a hundred Eldians gathered near the fences that separated their camps from the field where the Marleyan soldiers used to punish the ones who did not respect their rules. These people were now pushing against the barrier, desperately wanting to get inside. They were furious; their eyes filled with a raging blaze that made Eren’s skin shiver in dread.

Another Marleyan soldier came to answer him. “Those bastards are angry 'cause we’re going to give a death penalty to their friend,” he scoffed. “I mean, come on. We murder their people so many times already. You’d think they’d be accustomed to it by now.”

“Death penalty?” Eren quaked. “To who?”

“Don’t care.”

Eren’s nose flared in vexation but he kept his temper steady. “What did he do?” He assumed that the prisoner was a male. It usually happened that way.

The Marleyan soldier seemed idle in satisfying Eren’s curiosity but he answered anyway. “From what I’ve heard, there was a bunch of dumb Eldians wanting to get away from our camp. They thought they could escape, those fuckers,” he snorted loudly, “But obviously, they failed. They were wearing these black masks on their faces and they managed to attack one of our guards. When we called for back-ups, they scattered away. We didn’t get to catch any of them, and so, Magath was pissed.”

Eren unconsciously started to touch the wound along his abdomen. So that was what happened back then.

“Magath started to look around, trying to get their names, but none of them dared to speak. So he threatened to kill a random person every day until he found out who they were. He managed to blast off three heads in the past few days. It was a fun thing to see.” The soldier laughed while Eren’s stomach lurched in disgust. “Honestly, I would love to keep that going but one of the Eldians raised his hand, confessed that it was him—that he wanted to take responsibility for his actions. He said it was him who forced those Eldians to rebel but he didn’t want to give out any of his friends’ names. Stupid decision, if you ask me. He said he would take the punishment by himself. Magath, surprisingly, agreed. He was having a great day, I guess. So he said that he would be punished for his friends’ sins too and he wouldn’t make it easy. I was surprised that Eldian didn’t shit his pants back then. Pretty brave for a scrawny kid.” The soldier yawned before he smirked at Eren. “Well, anyway, he’s as good as dead. He was something, though. We tortured him night and day and he never made a sound. I lashed my whip at him a few times this morning and man, it was hard to make him cry and beg for mercy. He kept glaring at me even when his skin was starting to peel off his back.”

Eren’s fingers curled into angry fists and he would’ve most likely punched the other soldier to death if his eyes didn’t land on the prisoner who was hauled into the field. Three Marleyan soldiers forced him down to his knees and the prisoner winced in pain when the end of his executioner’s gun hit his head. The rest of the soldiers tied his hands to the poles that stood behind his body. And with a wicked smile, a Marleyan officer yanked the prisoner’s hair back and showed his face to the world.

Eren’s heart plummeted to his stomach.

“Armin!” He didn’t notice he was screaming until he heard his own voice. It was filled with shock, desperation, disappointment, wrath, but most of all, agony.

The prisoner lifted his head and Eren barely recognized him. There were fresh, angry scars blooming everywhere on his face, marring his cheeks, his chin, his forehead. One of his eyes was swollen, while the other one was continuously bleeding. Eren didn’t even dare to ask himself what his soldiers had done to him.

Their eyes met, and for a moment everything faded into a blur until the blonde-hair boy smiled at the soldier he regarded as a friend.

“Eren,” he mouthed. He still had the same warmth, the same kindness on his face. I’m glad you’re okay, Armin thought.

“You know that guy?” the soldier beside Eren suspiciously asked him but he was left ignored.

He kept his green eyes locked on Armin’s. They were no longer blue but scarlet, stained with his blood.

Was he really the one who started the rebellion? Eren mused, his heart thumping loudly. Was he the one who attacked those guards—who attacked me?

Armin that Eren knew was a man who was always cautious and smart when it came to making decisions. Eren remembered back then when Armin said he wanted to get away from here, but decided not to as it was a reckless move. So what changed him? Did he do it? Did he try to escape while bringing people with him? Did he really try to run at the risk of harming his own friends? It didn’t sound like him at all.

Without knowing, Eren was already stepping forward, wanting to get closer to the prisoner. To help him. To do something.

To save his life.

“Hey, Kruger!” The Marleyan soldier grabbed Eren harshly by his arm. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

Eren couldn’t hear anything. The world was in slow motion when his eyes drifted again to Armin’s soft ones. The boy lightly shook his head, reminding the soldier that he should know his place. Eren belonged to the army. He needed to serve his country. He needed to stay on his spot and be a witness to the scene as his government began the trial, putting a death sentence on the prisoner—on his friend.

Words were being uttered by his commander but Eren couldn’t make out any of them. He kept his gaze fixated on Armin—on how his friend was kneeling there, waiting calmly as he listened to the sins Eren was certain he didn’t commit. Armin was a nice person, perhaps the kindest of them all. It shouldn’t be a surprise if he decided to stand up for his people and trade their lives with his. Maybe that was the truth. Maybe that was what actually happened. And now he was sentenced to death for trying to save them.

This wasn’t fair. Nothing about it was fair.

Armin was smiling. Continuously smiling and Eren wondered why because all he could feel at the moment was fear. It was until the executioner came with a long sword in his hands, did Armin begin to quiver but only slightly. A tear slipped out from his swollen eye to the tip of his nose, but his smile never faltered away.

Eren heard someone screaming Armin’s name and it took a while until he realized that it was himself. A couple of soldiers tried to hold him down, wrapping their arms along his waist to keep him away from running to the field and standing in front of the prisoner—of the friend he treasured the most.

“Armin!” Eren screamed so loudly, his ears began to ring. “No, wait—he’s innocent—he’s innocent!” But his voice was drowned by the crowd’s vehement protests.

Armin lowered his head. His tears began to stain the earth and he felt no regret when he whispered, “Thank you, Eren.” For protecting me till the end. But it’s okay. It will all be over now.

And when the sword was raised to the sun, Armin kept his eyes on Eren once again and mouthed his last words.

Take care of Jean for me.

Then Armin became nothing but a name, and a huge piece of Eren's soul died with him.

Eren never felt so angry in his entire life. He snapped, his instincts kicked in and his body went autopilot. He began to retaliate, pushing and attacking every soldier that came to hold him down. It was chaos and he was the one who created it. The Eldians watched from the other side of the fence—some were looking at him with questioning eyes, and some were still screaming over Armin’s death. His blood was still fresh on the field, flowing from the throat that no longer had a head.

Eren was screaming, cursing, and possibly bringing himself closer to his death but he didn’t care. All of this needed to stop.

And time did stop for him when a man hit him behind his neck and all Eren could see was darkness.

***

When Eren opened his eyes, his commander, Theo Magath was sitting right next to him with his hands crossed in front of his chest. His thick eyebrows were turning into a scowl, his voice sounding dangerously low when he spoke.

“I am disappointed in you,” he said, without so much of an introduction. Eren winced when he shifted in his bed. His head still throbbed badly.

Eren wanted to tell him the truth rather than give out excuses. The truth about how much he hated the army, the situation he was in, and the responsibility he had to bear as a Marleyan soldier. How he despised the fact that there wasn’t even a glint of humanity in their hearts anymore. But Magath rose from his seat before he was given the chance to say a word. His commander grabbed his gun and he pointed it at his head. The steel was freezing against his skin, but Eren kept his chin tilted up high. His eyes showed no signs of fear, only hatred.

Magath gritted his teeth and pulled the trigger. Eren didn’t think he would shoot, but he was still surprised when the bullet didn’t set a hole in his head.

“Now I owe you nothing,” Magath muttered, lowering his gun and slinging it across his shoulder. “A life for a life. The next time I see you taking their side again, I’ll shoot your head without hesitation. You remember that, Soldier.”

Eren didn’t know whether he should be grateful or not. Maybe he should because now he had the chance to save one more life other than hers.

Jean Kirstein.

***

“Jean!” Eren called out his name as he approached the man who was standing near the lake where the three of them used to meet. It was a few hours after midnight, just like usual. He didn't expect to find him there, but he was grateful that he did.

With tears-streaked eyes, Jean shot up to his feet. He looked anxious—terrified. His body trembled in shock and when Eren was about to ask why, he noticed that the boy was holding a knife in his right hand. Then it clicked.

Jean was about to end his life.

“You fucking asshole—” Eren lunged at the other boy, pushing him until Jean’s body became limp and they both fell to the ground. Eren kicked his knife away, his grip on his shirt was hard enough to tear the fabric apart.

“It was your plan, wasn’t it?!” He straddled the taller man’s waist, landing a hard punch along his jaw. “You were the one who tried to escape!” Jean spat blood; one of his teeth was missing. “Goddamn it, Jean! Armin turned himself in to protect you!” Eren screamed, punching him again but Jean never tried to fight back. “And now you want to kill yourself?! Are you losing your fucking mind—”

“I am!” Jean shouted, glaring at him with angry tears welling in his eyes. “I am losing my mind! Everyone around me is dead! Armin—” He choked. “Armin is dead because of me…”

“So what, you’re gonna repay him with your death?!”

“What else could I do?!” Jean lamented, drowning in such misery that Eren froze his fist before it could connect with his jaw. “It was my idea—Armin didn’t want to go. He said we needed more time but I didn’t listen to him. I went out on my own accord, I—I even brought my friends with me too and he was there to stop me but I never listened to him and—”

“Jean—”

“I attacked you!” He yelled, leaving the other man stunned. “I stabbed you and I—I’m so sorry—“ He was wrecked, consumed by his guilt. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—I didn’t—”

Jean lost his voice. He could only weep. The tip of his nose was turning red and his body shivered violently as he sobbed. Eren only stared at him, watching the way his emotions were going haywire. “I’m sorry,” he whimpered, his head falling to the side and his fingers clawed into the cold hard ground. “I’m sorry, Armin. I’m sorry.”

Eren unclenched his fists, noticing that he just hurt the one he was supposed to protect. He had promised Armin he would, and he intended to keep his words no matter how hard it would be. Taking a deep breath, he broke away from him.

“Stand up,” the soldier commanded, and when Jean didn’t, he grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up harshly to his feet. “Listen to me.” Eren clamped his hands around Jean’s bony shoulders. “I need you to stay alive. I promised Armin I’m going to keep you safe but I can’t do it if you don’t value your own soul.”

“I should’ve been the one on that field,” Jean said, sobbing fervently until tremors ran through his body. “I should’ve been the one who died—not Armin—”

“Nobody deserves to die,” Eren cut him short. “Do you hear me? Nobody. Armin’s luck ended there but you’re still alive so fight for it! You have me, Jean. I’m not going to let you die.” As Jean just stared, stupefied by his words, Eren urged him to speak. “Do you understand me?”

He was silent for a few seconds more before he weakly nodded.

“Say it,” Eren demanded. “Say that you want to live.”

Another tear slipped away to stain his cheek but it was the last one he would allow. Slowly, he regained his will, a glimmer of determination painting his eyes. “I want to live.”

“Good.” Eren finally let himself smile. “I know it’s hard but please stay here for a few more days. I’m going to let you out of here.”

“H-how?”

Eren paused. He did not have his answers yet and he knew his time was running out. But he had to give him hope. He had to be strong for Jean to feel the same.

“I’ll think of something.”

***

“We don’t have much time,” Eren said, walking back and forth in the same spot of her room. “We need to get out of here. Time is running out. I can’t lose both you and Jean. We need to move.”

The lady sat on her bed with her fingers curling around the hem of her robe. Her face contorted in concern and something more, but Eren was too perturbed to pay attention. His mind was swirling fast, desperately trying to find a way for them to escape.

“Eren—”

“There must be something I can do,” he said, biting the nail of his thumb. He grew even more anxious by the second. “There must be some kind of a loophole I can—”

“Eren—”

“If only I can just—”

“Eren!” With her shout—loud enough for him to hear but not enough for her voice to be heard from outside the walls—Eren was yanked back from his musing. When he took a look at her, his gaze immediately softened but it didn’t stay that way for long. Quickly, it turned into a frown when he perceived her expression.

“What’s wrong?” Eren asked, hastily moving to her side and sitting down on the bed beside her. “Are you hurt somewhere?”

She hesitated when she spoke and that worried him more. “I… I can’t go with you.”

Eren froze. “What?”

“I can’t escape with you,” she repeated, her eyes looking straight through him, but not seeing him at all. “It’s too... risky.”

“I know but you don’t have to worry.” Eren soothed her with a light kiss on the lips. “I’ll keep you safe with me, you hear me?” He cupped her face with both hands, rubbing his thumb in comforting circles against her cheekbone. “I’ll protect you with my life.”

That’s the reason why I don't want to go. “It’s not me I’m worried about,” she said, biting her trembling lip.

He knew she was talking about him. He called upon her name, just as sweet and tender as usual despite the hurricane churning in his chest. “I can take care of myself. You don’t need to—”

But she shook her head, not assured at all. “You can’t guarantee that. Eren, I’m not that important for you to risk your life—”

He was not being himself today, he knew that for certain. If he had been, he wouldn’t have raised his voice. But he did. He snapped.

“Not important—How can you say that?!” Eren barked, and she flinched from the sudden anger in his tone.

“I…” She panicked. “I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just—”

“I just lost my friend.” She could witness his anguish so clearly just by hearing his voice. “I lost Armin for a sin he didn’t commit and I stood there, doing nothing. I am not going to do that again. Not to you. Not to Jean.”

“Eren—”

“Why are you so scared about this?!” Eren stood up, not knowing himself anymore. He’d lost himself to anger and the pain that he’d been trying to bottle up inside. Losing Armin had finally taken its toll on him and his final string of patience came apart. “I’m trying so hard to find a way to save you and now you’re saying you don’t want to be saved?! Do you wanna live the rest of your life working like a whore in this place?! Is that what you want?!”

He might as well just throw a dagger at her chest, it would’ve probably hurt less. So it’s true, she thought. Deep down, he always thought of her like that. As a comfort woman, a whore who knew nothing but to give her body for men to take pleasure in. Just like everybody else.

Eren noticed the pained look on her face. “Fuck,” he hissed, one hand going to his head, yanking at his roots. He was beyond frustrated but as he managed to collect himself, he returned to her spot, kneeling in front of her. “I’m sorry,” he said, and it was filled with nothing but sincerity. It just wasn’t enough to heal the wound he’d inflicted. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. I was… I’m losing my mind.”

“It’s fine.” Her voice was cold. Bitter. But she didn’t cry. Instead, she turned away from him. “I think I’d like you to leave.”

“Please don’t be like this.”

“I don’t think we should talk about this any longer–”

“But I’m trying to save your life!” He was begging for her to understand. “For God’s sake, why can’t you just agree with me—”

“Because I’m pregnant!”

The silence that followed was haunting, and he lost the ability to feel anything in those few dreadful seconds. “What?”

“I’m pregnant…” she repeated, quieter this time. The look in her eyes was desolate. She clamped her hands together, holding herself tight enough until her nails turned white. “I’ve been feeling sick lately and they... They found out that I was pregnant.”

And Eren knew, it was not his child.

He unconsciously took a step back and a flit of hurt went through her eyes because she heard it. She could hear the fear and the disappointment in his voice when he spoke, “You’re not pregnant. You can’t be. This is just a misunderstanding.”

But she only brought her head down, not saying a word.

“I’m going to find a way,” Eren stated, still sounding like he was lost even though he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t. “I’m… I just need a few more days.”

And when he left with hurried steps instead of a soft kiss on her lips, she brokenly smiled.

I don’t have a few more days, Eren.

***

Eren felt like he had a gushing wound but he didn’t know where it was; no way to mend it. He felt disappointed with himself—ashamed, even. How could he say those hurtful words to her? Why did he react that way? Why couldn’t he gather enough courage to stay and listen to what she wanted to say?

“It’s because I’m pregnant.”

Eren knew it took a lot more than just bravery for her to say those words. And he wanted to punch himself in the face for reacting like it was a disease he needed to get away from. It shouldn’t have mattered whether she was pregnant or not. It shouldn’t have mattered if they managed to escape and raise a baby together that wasn’t his blood. He loved her. And that was the only thing that should’ve mattered at that time.

And if his people knew about her pregnancy, he didn’t have much time left to save her.

He needed to move. Fast.

Eren did not sleep that night. He was wide awake thinking, hating himself first, regretting his sins, then accepting his guilt. Once hours had passed, his old self returned. He had found his way. He knew what he had to do. The sun had not raised above the horizon, but Eren was awake and ready. With hasty movements, he tied his shoes and ran to the building he’d been visiting for the last few months. He needed to apologize. He needed her to know that her pregnancy didn’t mean anything. He still loved her just as much, no matter what.

But when he sneaked into her room, using the key Magath once gave to him, he found another girl on her bed.

“Stay where you are!” A girl with a lighter shade of hair, shrieked when she saw him. “Who are–mmph!”

Eren quickly shushed her down with a hand clasped over her mouth. When he managed to convince her that he had no intention to harm her, he took his hand away and asked her about the lady he was looking for.

Backing away from him, she said, “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

The girl wore a similar thin robe like what she used to wear, but her eyes were more determined. Fearless, as she hadn’t known any better. That was when he realized that she was new. She was the latest addition to the brothel. She had just been brought here to serve the military guys with her body just like the other girls here.

The fact that she was there meant only one thing.

“No.” Eren’s breathing tattered, his eyes largening in horror. “No. No.”

The new girl frowned at the sudden change in his behavior. “Hey, are you oka—” she ended up with a small yelp when Eren suddenly grabbed her wrist tightly with his fingers. It was starting to feel painful.

“Where is she?!” He screamed, shaking her forcefully.

“I don’t know what you’re—” She panicked, threatened by his presence. “Let me go! You’re hurting me!”

“The girl!” Fear in his voice, despair in his eyes, shivers in his fingertips. “The lady who was here—where is she?!”

The new girl saw the pleading look on his face and she realized that Eren never meant to hurt her. He was just desperate for an answer. “S-some soldiers took her away,” she stuttered. “Not long after I got here, just a few hours ago. I don’t know where they went.”

Fuck. “Did she say anything?”

“We didn’t get the chance to talk. I asked her where I was but she said she didn’t have much time to explain. She told me to write something for her but–”

“Write?” Eren’s harsh tone was reduced to a small whisper.

She nodded, turning her body to retrieve a small piece of paper that was hidden underneath the pillow. “She said I should give this to a guy named Eren Jaeger. I-is that you?”

Eren didn’t answer. With trembling hands, he snatched away the paper from her hand. He didn’t read it then. He didn’t have time. He needed to find her before it was too late.

So he ran. He ran until his lungs felt like fire blazing through his veins. He ran until his throat felt like ice daggers with every breath he took. He ran until he could see her once again.

Where are they taking her?

Is she still alive?

No, she is, he thought, his palms tightened until his fingers were drained from colors. She’s still alive.

But the sky was nothing but a dark void, sucking all of his hope and wish. The sun hadn’t come up—at least not in a couple of hours, and the night’s chills were seeping into his bones. Clouds of warm breath appeared from his lips. He ran through every barrack, he ran through every camp, sneaking into every forbidden chamber he could without being seen by the guards but it was hopeless. The whole site was quiet.

Frantic and worn out, he found his way back to the lake. His feet seemed to bring him back to his favorite place where he often spent hours escaping reality, sorting his thoughts out. And that was when he saw it.

A body. Cold, blue, and bare, without a layer of clothes covering her skin.

She laid there on the cold ground with her eyes closed but her throat open. Her hair was strewn around the edge of the lake, her face facing the starless sky. The paleness of her icy blue skin was a stark contrast to the crimson color of dried blood that appeared along her neck.

With all his energy leaving him at once, Eren fell to his knees and even the wolves grew quiet to the sound of his scream. His lungs were hurting as he wheezed, gasping violently, his sanity deteriorating. He had both palms pressed against the ground as he cried, shedding tears until there were no more left. It was the first time he ever understood how it truly felt like to lose someone. Losing Armin was one thing, but losing her…

He couldn’t breathe.

Pain. Just pain. Everything was pain.

Everything he remembered about her inflicted pain.

Everything he witnessed at that moment gave him pain.

And anger.

They need to pay for this.

Before the break of dawn, Eren burned the Marleyan soldier’s campsites to the ground.

He lit his barrack on fire, making sure to seem like it was an accident. He acted clueless and innocent. The whole site was in chaos, and Eren stood on the side, pretending to be scared and shocked by the sudden fire that consumed everything like a starved demon, even when his lighter was still hot in his pocket. Even when his fingers were still soaked in gasoline.

He was out from the site before someone could suspect him and he fled to place small grenades along the fences. He blew them apart and the borders that separated the Eldians from the outside world disappeared.

“GO! NOW!” Eren shouted, waving his hand violently and the Eldians, though they still looked terrified, grabbed their belongings and ran for their lives. People were dashing through the fences, crossing the borders, and trying to find their way to freedom.

This was it. This was his revolution. His act of rebellion.

His act of humanity.

“Jean, you too, come on!” He yelled, beads of sweat breaking on his temple even when the coldness of the autumn breeze almost froze his bones. “Go!”

With shaky fingers and trembling knees, Jean raced forward.

“Come with me,” Jean begged, hand clutching around Eren’s wrist, his eyes quivering in panic. “Eren, run away with me.”

“I have to stay,” he firmly replied. “I need to hold back the guards. They must have heard the explosions. If they’re on their way here, I’m the only one who can buy us some time.”

“But you’ll get yourself killed—”

“There’s no other choice.”

“But—”

“Jean!” Eren grabbed the other man by the collar of his shirt, yanking him forward. “This is not the time to think! Don’t think about me. Don’t think about anyone else. Just focus on getting yourself safe. You understand me?”

Jean’s eyes were heavy with tears. “But Eren, y-you’ll—”

“I’ll live.” It was an empty promise, they both knew it but Eren’s smile was sincere when he released him. “Now, go. I’ll catch up with you. Promise me you’ll be safe.”

Jean nodded shakily. “Y-you too. Promise me.”

The soldier simply smiled again, letting his friend disappear under the faint glow of sunrise, knowing that this was going to be the first and the last betrayal Eren would do in his life.

“You can come out now,” Eren called, without even looking at the person who’d been watching him from the shadows. That figure soon approached him, with his guns hung freely on his back.

“You have a lot of guts, kid. I would’ve run away with those assholes if I were you,” Theo Magath said, throwing a wicked smile at the other man—the same one that used to send Eren trembling on his knees. But not anymore. Today, there was only resentment. There was only fury.

“You might want to hurry up, Commander.” Eren mocked his title. “Your prisoners are running away.”

Magath smiled wider, craning his neck a little. “You’ve changed a lot in these past few months. Is it because of that girl you loved? Too bad I didn’t let her say goodbye to you.”

Eren was rooted to the earth, struck dead by his words, his stomach twisting. The lake. Just how long had Magath known about it?He must have found out on his own but when? Did he follow him when he left to see Armin and Jean? Or was it from the start?

Eren’s blood ran cold. Magath threw her body there to spite him.

“Did you like the surprise?” Magath sneered. “I left her there so you two can enjoy the sunrise together. Consider me doing you a favor.”

It was a shot of adrenaline to his head that made Eren raise his gun to Magath’s head and pull the trigger before he could rethink his decision. All this time he was struggling not to kill. Tonight that was all he wanted. He wanted to avenge her death—to take his life just like he had taken hers.

One shot, loud enough to resemble thunder, then the rest is silence.

If only his hands were steadier.

A bullet hit Eren on the chest. He didn’t know precisely where, all he knew was that his entire body was screaming in agony. His knees buckled a second before he fell to the ground, dropping to his back as his breathing began to stutter.

“What did I say?” Magath said. Eren’s bullet grazed one of his shoulders, but it was far from lethal. Landing his foot on his bleeding chest, Magath bent down until all Eren’s lifeless eyes could see was his face. “Your kind values are the ones that are going to get you killed someday, Eren Jaeger.”

And when he left, Eren stared at the stratosphere above. The rising sun cast a rosy hue across the morning sky with no clouds in sight, but it resembled a painting, nonetheless. Ah, she would’ve loved this, he thought, smiling weakly to himself. And he wondered, since when did he become so alone? Three days ago, he had everything. Armin was alive. Jean was safe. She was in his arms. It might not be perfect, the world could’ve been kinder, but at least, she was. She was perfect. They had each other. They felt infinite in such a limited time.

Now he felt… cold. Everything felt cold. I’ve always hated the cold.

His lungs started to fail him. His fingers started to stop shaking. Blood was oozing from the wound. He could feel his heartbeat slowing. His death was nearing. Was he afraid? No. There was no fear. Only regret.

With weak, trembling fingers, he dispatched the small paper he kept in his pocket. If these were his last seconds to live, he wanted to dedicate them to the girl who owned his entire life. Because without her, his life would’ve never been worth a second to live.

Eren found out that it was a poem, one that she promised to write for him when she had her head on his shoulder and a beautiful smile on her lips.

With her name on the edge of his tongue, he began to read.

You know me like the earth

Where you were born and raised

With a handsome smile, I never got to face

You perceive me like the sea

You swallow my secrets in

And keep them inside, behind the exchange of our three words

You hear me like the wind

I was quiet

But you were my lullaby in the spring

A song I never get to sing

You touch me like the air

So faint, so light

What I dream of every night

What I crave in my days

You kiss me like summer

Lingering warm,

Wish it could last forever.

You hold me like the winter breeze

With cold fingers, dreading to see tomorrow

With warm breath, reminding me about life

And how each day is worth living for

I love you for eternity

Even when our days are numbered

Even when your promise crumble

Even when all you see is vain

Even if I’m not more than a bitter farewell

I will love you for eternity, Eren Jaeger

You are my life, my breath

My eternity

Eren closed his lids, feeling tears start to brim in his eyes but he kept them away from being shed. I will love you for eternity. He smiled as his breath left his lips and her name was the last thing he remembered.

You’re my eternity.

***

AN: Thank you so much for reading! I'm so sorry for giving you such a depressing story, but I hope you enjoyed it 😅Massive thanks to Sandra, Joli and Coi for beta-reading this for me. I love you, besties!

The poem that Eren read in the middle of the story is not written by me, but I can't find the source online. If you know about it, please let me know so I can properly give credits to the writer.

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashgremlin36 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @ackersune @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza

#eren angst #eren x reader #eren smut #eren fluff #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #aot x reader #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger fluff #eren yeager fluff #aot smut #snk smut #aot fluff #snk fluff #eternity canon #snk x reader

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longing4d3cay · 2 months

Text

only mine || Druig

human!Druig x fem!reader

summary: Druig was never the best boyfriend, leaving you to feel indifferent to the idea of staying with him. When you've finally had enough and try and leave your toxic relationship, Druig will do anything to make you stay.

trigger warning: angst, slightly manipulative Druig, cheating, smut, penetration, oral (f receiving), toxic relationship, praise, alcohol consumption.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: I hope you enjoy, just a lil one-shot for an idea I had. Sorry if grammar is not perfect I wrote this quickly. interact for more fics :)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+

A tear ran down your cheek as you watched your boyfriend rest his hand on the small of the anonymous woman's back. The lights of the club lit up around you, but you didn't feel bright at all. Your heart was breaking as the sight unfolded in front of you.

This wasn't a new sight to behold, neither was the sting. You and Druig had been together since high school, now in your second year of college, it's felt like forever. When you two had first met, it was like you were floating. He treated you like you were the only girl in the world. Everyone wanted to either fuck him or be him, except for you. That's what you believe drew him to you.

Druig was always known as a partier and a charmer. All of those traits grew with time, only making it harder. It started with subtle flirting with girls in the high school halls, growing to grabs and winks at parties when he got too drunk. Not only was he a flirty drunk, but a bit of a hot head as well. You knew Druig would never lay a hand on you, but his venom laced barks he called words were unbearable.

"God Y/N, it's seriously not that big of a deal. I was jus' talking to her!" Like you totally didn't see his hand brush her ass.

"Would you quit looming over me! I'm not even that drunk, you're bein' way too much right now! God you're so annoying." If you hadn't been there he would have fallen and cracked his head.

You on the other hand always tried to do your best by Druig. You loved him so much, you forgave and over-looked so many things for him. Not everything was so bad after all, he was your first kiss, first lover, even your first date and he meant everything to you.

So here you were as usual, standing off to the side of this club watching your boyfriend who comes over every 30 minutes to kiss you on the cheek. You didn't even know why tears still spilled when you'd see it.

Your eyes finally trailed off from the pair, giving you a moment to breathe, knowing that if you went over there he'd just holler, he was hammered.

When your eyes reluctantly returned, your face went beat red, the tears now pouring out in pairs. He was kissing her, on the lips, nearly falling over her, grabbing at any flesh he could. Your legs practically carried you out of the door of the club, thumping against your lovers shoulder as you left.

"Y/N... Y/N wait!" Was all you heard over the music as Druig whipped around, discarding the woman he was playing with. He knew it was you from the smell of the perfume he loved so much and the soft sob that left your lips.

Any plea or apology that came out of his mouth went in one ear and out the other. "Fuck!" His voice was booming and distressed, realizing he wasn't going to get a word.

He had followed you for a while before giving up, accepting that nothing he could shout after you would make you budge. The tears continued to burn her now raw cheeks as the approached the street her apartment was on. Pain was the only thing you felt as defeat and heartbreak over came you. That was the last straw and even though it would hurt, no body deserves to be treated like this.

Some time passed, allowing you to calm down and gather your thoughts that still felt so jumbled. It didn't take long before the dreaded knock came thundering on your door. "Baby... babe please... Baby, i'm begging you, open the door, just talk to me please." You knew it was him before he even spoke. With every word he said your heart tugged some more. Words could not form on your tongue and the palms of your hands began to sweat. "Y/N!" he boomed out in sobs, continuing to abuse your apartment door. "I can't take this darlin', don't you leave me!"

The same sobs and words he always spoke, almost like he didn't actually think you'd do it. Annoyance began to stir inside of you, setting aside your sadness. With a huff, you stood up towards the door.

As the door flew open, you were met with a very disheveled Druig, still tispy but much more coherent. Your mouth hung open to speak but all that came out was a choked out sob. "My love..." His voice came out soft, almost pathetically.

"No Druig!" Your voice cut him off before anything else could be said. "You can't take this? I can't take this!" Your voice broke through hard sobs, fists balling to your sides. Your eyes fell to the floor below you, "I... I won't do this anymore Dru..." Your eyes now lifting and meeting his concerned gaze. "I just can't be with you anymore..."

The words sat in the atmosphere for a moment, vibrating off the walls of the tension.

All you wanted to do was shut the door in his face and hide, afraid that you'd fold to the man you love at any minute. Eye contact was avoided as your hand came to shut the door.

The sound boomed as his hand caught the wooden door, quick steps making their way behind you. Your feet couldn't have moved faster as you reached for the door knob of your bedroom. "Y/N.. baby... no" he spoke sternly yet softly as his hand grasped for yours, a little less softly.

You attempted to pull away, weak from the mental breakdown you felt like having. "hey..." he trailed off, now pulling you forward in a more gentle nature, towards him. "Don't say that.. don't-don't do that my love you're mine."

His voice had a tension to it but he continued to speak with laces of honey. "Say somethin'.." Your chest was now flush to his, his hand moving up to rub your wrist, up to your arm.

"Dru...I can't...I-" Another sob broke your words in two. The tears flew down your face, cheeks red and lips puffy. The grasp he had on your arm released, moving around your hips. He held you close, burying his face in your hair like it was the last time he'd feel it on his cheeks. Your arms wrapped around him in return, wanting comfort from the one you love even if it was his fault your eyes poured.

"I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry..." Soft kisses left his lips, planting themselves on your head. "I'll change, all for you, you're everythin' to me. She was nothin', absolutely nothin'..." His head hooked down, continuing to whisper sweet nothings in your ear to calm you down

You never understood why but the manipulation of your feelings came so easily to Druig. He always knew how to touch you and what to say to calm your nerves even when they were towards him. Your breathe evened, fully beginning to submit to the man before you, like you had done so many times.

His hands now trailed up and down the small of your back, gripping slightly at the tops of your hips. "You have to be mine, I don't want anyone else touchin' my girl.." His tone darkened, staying at your ear. His breathe fanned gently against your neck, making your knees weak and stomach bunch. His fingers tugged and felt at the end of the tight shirt you wore. You wore all black, just for him, knowing he loved it.

"Did you wear my favorite shirt just for me darlin'?" A small chuckle left his lips making goose bumps appear on the nape of your neck. His face now moved to press his forehead against yours, your heartbeat and breathe now quickening due to your arousal and nerves. "Yes..." It came as barley a whisper, still feeling the desire to please your man.

His teeth bit softly at his lip, a small smirk apparent. "Good." His voice stern yet sweet, eyes now locked with yours. His hands made it's way to cup your face in hand, gently rubbing at the tear stains on your cheeks. "No need to cry beautiful... I'll always be all yours." The words themselves almost threatened to make tears bud as you became completely immersed in Druig once again.

His lips fell onto yours gently at first, passion growing by the second. "And you will always be mine. Have you seen the way men look at you gorgeous? They can't have you." A small whine left your lips as he broke the kiss, pushing your bedroom door open. He backed you up slowly and softly towards your bed as another deep kiss filled your senses.

You took a soft fall to the bed as he pushed you towards it, now looming over you as if you were some kind of prey. "Oh darlin', your not leaving me, I haven't had my way with you yet." A comfortable burn and tingle entered your core at his words. His arms come up to pull the leather jacket he was wearing to be discarded on the floor. His shirt was tight against his body, showing every inch of him that you loved.

"Dru..." Your voice just above a whisper, coming out as a breathless moan. His shirt came off next, to join his jacket. Your eyes scanned his torso, making you bite the inside of your lip. "Sit up." His voice coming out demanding. As you sat up he dropped to his knees in front of you, never breaking eye contact. He licked his lips before running his hands up your thighs and up to the hem of your shirt.

You watched him closely as you followed his silent direction to pull off the shirt, even if it was his favorite. His hands moved up your now exposed sides as he leaned up and in closer to your chest, giving each breast a soft kiss. Your eyes felt trained to stay on his, his hands running now up your back, skillfully unclasping your bra.

With the last layer from your torso gone, his hands moved up to kneed at your mounds before taking a bud in between his lips and giving it a teasing suckle. A breathe escaped your lungs faster than you were prepared for as your eyes fluttered. He didn't forget to give the other bud attention, leaving marks on his way, before dipping back down where you wanted him most.

He started to grow impatient, pulling your shorts and panties off in one go. Suddenly his patience returned, parting your legs slightly, nipping at the most sensitive part of your thigh. You jolted, him pulling you farther into his face, now inches away from your core.

"Is this what you want?" He said, almost chuckling at your desperation, your hips rocking, gradually trying to reach his lips. He hummed, leaving a quick stripe of his tongue against your folds, making you shutter and whine. He decided you deserve good girl treatment and pressed his face against your pussy that he knew all too well, smiling against your clit. Gasps left your mouth as he began to work at your favorite spot, his hands running up and down the tops of your thighs.

Druig loved seeing you like this, all fucked out and anxious to have something, anything. One of his hands dipped in between your now wet folds from his spit and your arousal, teasing your entrance. "Please... I'll be good." The most clear thing he's heard you say all night. He chuckled against your clit, doing you the honor of entering a finger in you. You continued to beg, moaning at the new feeling. You knew the more you begged the more he liked it and the more he gave you.

Your body began to shake and the knot in your stomach started to unfold as you gripped the base of his brown locks. Your body fell back into the bed making him groan and stop all motion. A whine left your lips, feeling overstimulated from the denial of your orgasm. Your mouth opened but nothing but sounds could escape.

"I like to watch you fall apart." He said lustfully but sternly. He gave your now puffy clit a few hard taps before pulling your torso back up, now looking into your eyes. "You keep your eyes open and look at me, understood?" You nodded quickly begging for release. That didn't seem to be enough, his face still cold staring you down. "Yes! Yes, I understand." This made his expression change to delight, his head dipping back down and finally giving you what you needed.

His name fell from your lips as his fingers worked perfectly, re-building your orgasm quickly. Druig grinned, listening to his name being chanted like a prayer as your walls squeezed and convulsed around his digits. Keeping your promise you held onto his arms to hold you up, never breaking eye contact.

Once he helped ride out your orgasm, he leaned up, placing his lips on yours making you taste yourself. Moans fell into his mouth from yours as he pushed you back down gently onto the bed, now biting at your neck.

Watching you fall apart made him eager to make you fall apart again. He made quick work of his pants and boxers, tossing them aside before coming back down to your level. He brought you into a passionate kiss, running his hands against the slick of your wet folds, collecting some and pumping his cock with it. "I love you, I love you" He chanted a few times in her ear, running his length in between your folds. Pleas and whines left your lips as you felt the familiar feeling of him sinking into you. Your head fell back, a soft groan leaving Druig's lips as he bottomed out inside of you.

He began to rut in and out of you, the sound of skin slapping together increased as his speed did. He kept it hard but passionate, claiming but also loving you. Your bodies close, sticking together from sweat as desperate sounds left both your lips. "No body feels as good as you do." He groaned out, lips brushing each other, foreheads touching. His arms captured you close, legs and arms wrapped around him, hands exploring his broad shoulders. Your bodies moved together like they belonged, hitting every spot inside of you.

You felt his movements becoming more erratic, knowing he was close. Your own release crawling it's way down your body. You couldn't even find the words before you started to have your second orgasm. Usually degrading names and dirty words would escape Druig as you came but his lips captured yours, moaning your name into your mouth as he came inside of you.

He rode out both of your orgasms as he muttered pussy drunk words to you breathlessly. Instead of falling next to you, he pulled you close now soft inside of you, wanting to be as close as possible. He made a soft hum against your neck, peppering small kisses. He reluctantly moved away to look into your eyes, adoring your scent. His voice loving but stern he spoke:

"You're only for me to have. Do you understand me my dove?"

"yes Druig."

"I love you darlin'"

"I love you too."

the end.

longing4decay

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alohastyles-x · 4 months

Text

God of Death - Summary and Masterlist

A dark!Druig Fanfic | Druig x reader | Scream crossover

summary: After witnessing the aftermath of a murder one night after work, you also witness the presence of a god... a god who had supposedly left earth centuries ago, after a rogue killing spree that ended an empire. Only this god let you walk away... alive but marked by his god magic. With the help of your best friend, the two of you attempt to track down him down and understand more of the mark permanently inked in gold on your skin... and also to confront him about the murder of course.

Masterlist:

Teaser / Prologue

Part 1 - Jan 1, 2024

Part 2 - Jan 13, 2024

Part 3- Jan 21, 2024

Part 4? Undecided how many parts this will actually be lol

Note: happy holiday tumblr besties! I plan to make a full return to writing after the new year... starting where it all began: my baby Druig. I hope you guys enjoy this dark Druig fic, I'm going to post a teaser soon to hold you over! The idea for this struck just randomly and I knew I had to turn it into a story. Ive been working on it for a few months now, and finally feel ready to share it with everyone <3

In the mean time, my asks and my requests are always open!

#druig x y/n #druig fic #druig x reader #druig smut #dark druig #dark!druig #druig angst #druig eternals #marvel fic #marvel #alohastylesx #druig #<33333 #druig imagine #the eternals #druig x female reader

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lunardragon00 · 11 days

Text

Eternal Sunshine (Jongho x Reader)

Eternal Sunshine Masterlist

Idol!Jongho x Idol!reader

I'll be the first to say, "I'm sorry", Now you got me feelin' sorry I showed you all my demons, all my lies Yet you played me like Atari

The hum of chatter filled the air as stylists buzzed around the makeup room, prepping idols for their next appearance. Y/N sat before the mirror, her reflection illuminated by the soft glow of vanity lights. She wore a serene expression, masking the whirlwind of emotions swirling beneath the surface.

Her makeup artist flitted around her, expertly applying foundation and blending eyeshadow with practiced precision. Y/N's mind, however, wandered to a different place altogether. Memories of Jongho, her former flame, danced at the edges of her consciousness, threatening to consume her thoughts.

She closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Today was supposed to be about her new album, her latest achievement in a career that demanded everything she had to give. But even amidst the excitement and anticipation, he lingered like an unwelcome guest.

"You doing okay, Y/N?" the makeup artist asked, breaking through her reverie.

Y/N forced a smile, nodding. "Yeah, just... lost in thought, I guess."

The makeup artist gave her a sympathetic look before returning to her work. But Y/N couldn't shake the memories that clung to her like cobwebs in the corners of her mind. His absence, his constant excuses, the weight of his silence – they all hung heavy on her heart.

As she sat in the makeup chair, preparing to face the world once again, Y/N couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever truly be able to move on from him. But for now, she pushed the thoughts aside, focusing instead on the task at hand. Today was about her music, her passion, and nothing – not even he – could take that away from her.

A staff member poked their head into the bustling makeup room, scanning the busy scene before their eyes landed on Y/N. "Y/N, they're ready for you on set," they announced, their voice cutting through the ambient noise.

Y/N nodded, offering a grateful smile as she stood up from the makeup chair. She smoothed down the fabric of her outfit, adjusting the mic pack clipped to her waist. With each step towards the door, her heart pounded a little harder, anticipation mingling with apprehension.

As she made her way to the set, Y/N mentally rehearsed her responses, trying to anticipate the questions that would inevitably come her way. She focused on the positive aspects of her album, the hours of hard work poured into each track, the emotions woven into every lyric.

But amidst the professional facade she wore like armor, the memories of him lingered like ghosts in the corners of her mind. She pushed them aside, burying them beneath layers of determination and resolve. Today was about her music, her artistry, and she refused to let anything – or anyone – detract from that.

With a deep breath, Y/N stepped onto the set, plastering a bright smile on her face as the cameras began to roll. It was showtime, and she was ready to shine.

The set was a flurry of activity, with cameras rolling and lights shining bright. Y/N took her place in the center of it all, the spotlight now firmly on her as she prepared to face the barrage of questions that awaited.

The interviewer, a seasoned professional with a warm smile, greeted her with a handshake before taking their seat opposite her. "Y/N, it's great to have you here today. Your new album has been generating a lot of buzz – can you tell us about the message behind it?"

Y/N's smile widened as she launched into her prepared response, her words flowing effortlessly as she spoke of passion, creativity, and the journey that had led her to this moment.

"Well, here’s the easiest way I can explain it. The album starts off as a question, it’s asking how do you know if this person I’m with is the one? How do I know if this person is going to be IT for me when I’ve been in relationships in the past that have given me that hope? "As Y/N spoke, her voice resonated with sincerity, her words painting a vivid picture of the emotional landscape that had inspired her music.

The interviewer nodded, captivated by her explanation. "That's incredibly relatable," they remarked, leaning forward slightly. "It sounds like you're exploring some deeply personal themes in this album. Can you tell us about your creative process and how you approached writing these songs?"

Y/N's smile softened, a flicker of vulnerability crossing her features. "Sure," she began, her voice taking on a more introspective tone. "For me, writing music is a form of catharsis. It's a way for me to process my emotions and make sense of the world around me. With this album, I wanted to delve into the complexities of love and relationships – the highs, the lows, and everything in between."

She paused, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "Each song is like a piece of my heart, laid bare for the world to see. And while it's scary to be so vulnerable, it's also incredibly liberating. I hope that listeners can find solace in these songs, knowing that they're not alone in their own struggles and triumphs."

The interviewer nodded again, impressed by Y/N's insight and authenticity. "It sounds like this album is a deeply personal journey for you," they remarked. "Is there a particular song that holds special significance for you? And if so, can you tell us why?"

Y/N's gaze softened as she thought back to the writing process, the late nights spent pouring her heart out into lyrics, the moments of clarity amidst the chaos. "There's a song called 'Echoes' that holds a special place in my heart," she revealed. "It's about the lingering echoes of a past love, the memories that haunt you long after they're gone. For me, it's a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there's still beauty to be found."

Y/N sat hunched over her notebook, pen in hand, the blank page staring back at her mockingly. She sighed, frustration bubbling up inside her as she struggled to find the right words. Writing had always been her refuge, her safe haven in a world filled with chaos and uncertainty. But today, the words eluded her, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

She glanced up at the clock on the wall, the hands ticking away the seconds with merciless precision. Jongho was due to arrive any minute now, and she still hadn't finished the song they were supposed to record together. The pressure weighed heavy on her shoulders, a constant reminder of the expectations placed upon her as an idol and a songwriter.

Just then, the door swung open, and Jongho stepped into the studio, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Hey, Y/N," he greeted, his voice warm and familiar.

Y/N forced a smile, pushing aside her doubts and insecurities as she greeted him in return. "Hey, sorry, I'm still working on the lyrics. I just can't seem to get them right."

Jongho's smile widened, and he crossed the room to stand beside her, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm. "Don't worry about it," he reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "We'll figure it out together, like we always do."

Y/N's heart swelled with gratitude as she looked up at him, her doubts melting away in the warmth of his gaze. Jongho had always been her rock, her constant source of support and inspiration. And in that moment, she knew that together, they could conquer anything.

With renewed determination, Y/N returned to her notebook, the words flowing from her pen with newfound ease. And as she and Jongho poured their hearts and souls into the music, the echoes of their love reverberated through the studio, filling the air with hope and promise.

Y/N couldn't help but smile as she and Jongho exchanged playful banter, their easy rapport a testament to the years they'd spent together as friends and lovers. Despite the pressure of the recording session, there was an undeniable sense of joy in the air, a shared excitement that buoyed their spirits and fueled their creativity.

As they worked through the song, Jongho's voice soared, filling the studio with its raw power and emotion. Y/N couldn't help but be in awe of him, his talent shining bright like a beacon in the darkness. And as the final notes faded away, leaving nothing but silence in their wake, Y/N felt a sense of euphoria wash over her. They had done it – they had created something beautiful together, something that would stand the test of time.

Jongho grinned at her, his eyes sparkling with pride. "That was amazing," he exclaimed, pulling her into a tight hug. "I couldn't have done it without you." Y/N hugged him back, feeling a surge of gratitude and affection well up inside her.

As Y/N basked in the warmth of Jongho's embrace, she couldn't help but feel a rush of affection swell within her. In that moment, surrounded by the glow of their shared success, she felt more alive than ever before. She pulled back slightly, gazing into Jongho's eyes with a soft smile playing on her lips. "We make a pretty good team, don't we?" she remarked, her voice filled with admiration.

Jongho nodded, his grin widening as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "The best," he replied, his tone laced with sincerity. "I'm so lucky to have you by my side, Y/N."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat at his words, a warmth spreading through her chest at the depth of his affection. She reached up to cup his cheek, her thumb brushing lightly against his skin as she leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

Their kiss was sweet and tender, a silent promise of love and devotion that transcended words. In that moment, surrounded by the music and the laughter and the undeniable chemistry that crackled between them, Y/N knew with absolute certainty that she was exactly where she was meant to be.

As they pulled away, their foreheads resting against each other, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of peace settle over her. "Okay, let's go before you get glued to studio board. I'm starving and you need a break." Y/N laughed as Jongho pulled her out of the studio, his infectious energy lifting her spirits even higher. She let herself be swept along by his enthusiasm, her heart light with joy as they made their way down the hallway.

As they emerged into the bright lights of the corridor, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude wash over her. Despite the pressures of their busy schedules and the demands of the industry, moments like these – simple, spontaneous, and filled with laughter – were what made it all worthwhile.

She squeezed Jongho's hand tightly, her fingers intertwining with his as they walked side by side. "You're right," she agreed, her voice tinged with amusement. "I could use a break, and food sounds amazing right about now."

Jongho grinned at her, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he led her towards the nearest exit. "I know just the place," he declared, his excitement palpable. "There's this little café down the street that serves the best kimchi stew. Trust me, you're gonna love it."

Y/N laughed, her heart swelling with affection for the man beside her. Despite the chaos of their lives and the challenges they faced, moments like these – stolen away from the spotlight, just the two of them – were what mattered most.

As they stepped out into the bustling streets of Seoul, hand in hand and hearts full of happiness, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment settle over her. In that moment, surrounded by the sights and sounds of the city she loved and the man she adored, she knew that she was exactly where she was meant to be.

"Sounds like a wonderful message. Now, what exactly inspired you to let this message out? It seems like this is quite a personal story you're sharing with fans." Y/N took a moment to collect her thoughts, the memories of her time with Jongho still lingering in the back of her mind. She knew that she had to tread carefully, choosing her words with precision as she navigated the delicate balance between truth and discretion.

"I went through something within the past year where I got to live through those things," she began, her words measured and deliberate. "I put so much into the relationship, poured my heart and soul into it, but towards the end, I just kind of realized that it wasn't equal."

The soft glow of her laptop illuminated the dimly lit room as Y/N sat hunched over the keyboard, her fingers flying across the keys in a flurry of words and emotions. It was late, far later than she should have been awake, but she couldn't sleep, not with the weight of her thoughts pressing down on her like a leaden blanket.

She typed furiously, pouring her heart out into the digital void, her words a desperate plea for connection in a world that seemed determined to keep her at arm's length. Jongho had been distant lately, his messages growing fewer and farther between, leaving Y/N feeling adrift and alone in a sea of silence.

But still, she persisted, clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, he would respond, that he would reach out and pull her back from the edge of despair. She waited with bated breath, her heart pounding in her chest as she hit send, the message disappearing into the ether with a finality that sent a shiver down her spine.

Minutes turned into hours, but still, there was no response, no reassurance that she wasn't alone in this vast and lonely world. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she stared at the empty screen, the silence echoing louder than any words could ever convey. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, that their relationship was slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

Her fingers trembled as she typed out another message, her words a desperate plea for understanding in a sea of uncertainty. "Are you okay?" she wrote, the letters appearing on the screen like a lifeline thrown into the abyss.

But as the minutes ticked by and still, there was no response, Y/N's anxiety only grew, gnawing at her insides like a ravenous beast. She knew she shouldn't be so dependent on Jongho's validation, that her worth didn't depend on his attention, but try as she might, she couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that threatened to consume her whole.

She scrolled through their previous conversations, searching for clues, for any sign that she hadn't imagined the connection they once shared. But all she found were fragments of a love that seemed to be slipping away, lost amidst the silence and the shadows.

And then, just when she had all but given up hope, a notification flashed across the screen, a single word illuminated in the darkness: "Sorry."

Y/N's heart sank as she read the message, the weight of its meaning crashing down on her like a ton of bricks. "Sorry for what?" she wanted to scream, her frustration boiling over into a torrent of tears and anger. But instead, she swallowed her pride, bottling up her emotions as she pushed aside her hurt and disappointment.

She knew that confronting Jongho wouldn't change anything, that their relationship was already hanging by a thread, but still, she couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal at his half-hearted apology. It wasn't enough, not by a long shot, and as she stared at the empty screen, the tears streaming down her cheeks, Y/N couldn't help but wonder if their love was worth fighting for.

There was a pause as Y/N gathered her thoughts, the emotions swirling within her threatening to spill over. But she held herself together, drawing strength from the knowledge that she was not alone in her struggles.

"It's never easy to admit when things aren't working out," she continued, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside her. "But I think it's important to be honest with ourselves and with others, even if it's painful. And for me, that's what this album is all about – finding the courage to speak our truth, no matter the cost."

The interviewer nodded sympathetically, their expression filled with understanding. "It takes a lot of courage to be so open and vulnerable," they remarked, their tone gentle. "But I have no doubt that your fans will appreciate your honesty and authenticity."

Y/N smiled gratefully, a sense of relief washing over her as she shared her story with the world. Despite the pain of her past, she knew that by speaking her truth, she was taking the first step towards healing – not just for herself, but for others who may be going through similar struggles.

"Tell me a little bit more. In this relationship, where do you think things went wrong? Because at first, you said that you felt like this person could be the one. What changed?" Y/N took a moment to collect her thoughts, her mind drifting back to the moments she had shared with Jongho, both the highs and the lows. It was a painful journey to revisit, but she knew that in order to truly heal, she had to confront the truth head-on.

"I think...," she began slowly, her voice tinged with sadness, "I think things started to unravel when we lost sight of each other. We were both so caught up in our own worlds, our own careers, that we forgot to make time for each other. And as the distance between us grew, so too did the cracks in our relationship."

She paused, the weight of her words settling heavily upon her shoulders. "At first, I thought he could be the one," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "We had this undeniable connection, this spark that I thought would last forever. But as time went on, I realized that love alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship. It takes effort, communication, and a willingness to put each other first."

Tension hung heavy in the air as Y/N and Jongho stood facing each other, their voices raised in a heated argument that seemed to have no end in sight. It had started off as a simple disagreement, a difference of opinion about whether or not to go public with their relationship, but it had quickly escalated into something much more volatile.

"I just don't understand why you're so opposed to going public," Y/N exclaimed, frustration evident in every word. "We've been together for 2 years now, Jongho. It's not like it's some big secret."

Jongho's jaw clenched as he met her gaze, his own frustration boiling over into anger. "It's not that simple, Y/N," he shot back, his tone sharp with irritation. "You know how the industry works. We have to maintain a certain image, and going public with our relationship could jeopardize that."

Y/N's temper flared at his words, a surge of indignation coursing through her veins. "So what? We're just supposed to hide our relationship forever? Pretend like we're not together just to appease some corporate executives?" she retorted, her voice rising with each word.

Jongho's expression hardened, his eyes flashing with resentment. "I'm just trying to protect us, Y/N," he insisted, his voice tinged with bitterness. "I can't afford to risk my career for some fleeting romance."

The words struck Y/N like a slap in the face, the sting of his betrayal cutting deep into her heart. "Fleeting romance?" she repeated, her voice trembling with hurt and anger. "Is that what you think this is, Jongho? Some meaningless fling?" Jongho's gaze wavered, guilt flickering behind his eyes as he realized the depth of Y/N's pain. But instead of backing down, he dug in his heels, his pride and fear driving him to lash out in defense.

"I didn't mean it like that," he insisted, his voice softer now, but no less defensive. "But you have to understand, Y/N, this industry is cutthroat. We're under constant scrutiny, and one wrong move could ruin everything we've worked for."

Y/N shook her head, her fists clenched at her sides as she struggled to contain the storm raging within her. "I understand that, Jongho," she said, her voice strained with emotion. "But I refuse to sacrifice our happiness for the sake of some image. We deserve better than that."

As Y/N's words hung heavy in the air, Jongho's expression darkened, his frustration reaching a boiling point. "I'm tired of this, Y/N," he snapped, his voice sharp with anger. "Why do you keep bringing this up? Can't you see that it's pointless?"

Y/N recoiled at his words, the sting of his dismissiveness cutting deep into her heart. "Pointless?" she repeated, her voice trembling with hurt and disbelief. "Our relationship is not pointless, Jongho. It's real, it's meaningful, and it deserves to be acknowledged."

But Jongho's resolve remained unyielding, his pride and fear driving him to push her away. "I can't do this right now," he declared, his tone final. "I won't let you jeopardize everything I've worked for just because you can't accept reality."

And with that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the apartment, leaving Y/N alone in the suffocating silence of their shattered dreams.

A pang of regret washed over her as she spoke, a sense of longing for what could have been if only they had fought harder for their love. But she knew that dwelling on the past would only hold her back from embracing the future, from finding the happiness and fulfillment she deserved.

"In the end," she concluded, her voice steady despite the ache in her heart, "I think we just... lost ourselves along the way. And as much as it hurts to admit it, sometimes love isn't enough to save a relationship that's already crumbling beneath the weight of its own flaws."

The interviewer nodded sympathetically, their expression filled with empathy for Y/N's pain. "It sounds like you've gained a lot of insight from this experience," they remarked, their tone gentle. "And I have no doubt that your honesty and vulnerability will resonate deeply with your fans, helping them navigate their own struggles with love and relationships."

Y/N smiled gratefully, a sense of peace settling over her as she shared her truth with the world. Despite the pain of her past, she knew that by speaking her truth, she was not only healing herself but also shining a light for others who may be walking a similar path.

"So, we start off the album with the question if the person you’re with is the right one, did you end up finding the answer?" Y/N's smile softened, a sense of introspection coloring her features as she considered the interviewer's question. It was a question she had asked herself many times over the course of her journey, a question that had lingered in the depths of her heart long after the echoes of her past had faded away.

"I think...," she began slowly, her voice tinged with contemplation, "I think the answer isn't always as clear-cut as we'd like it to be. Love is messy, complicated, and sometimes, it's hard to know if you're making the right choice."

She paused, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "But I do believe that everything happens for a reason, that every heartache, every disappointment, every moment of doubt is leading us towards where we're meant to be. And while I may not have all the answers, I do know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now."

The soft glow of her phone screen illuminated the dimly lit room as Y/N scrolled through the latest headlines, her heart sinking with each passing moment. And then, she saw it – a headline that sent a jolt of pain coursing through her veins, a headline that confirmed her worst fears.

"Jongho Goes Public with New Girlfriend," the headline blared, accompanied by a photo of Jongho smiling brightly as he held hands with a beautiful, unfamiliar face. It was like a punch to the gut, a cruel reminder of everything she had lost, everything she had once held dear.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the screen, the weight of betrayal settling heavy upon her shoulders. How could he do this? How could he move on so quickly, so easily, as if their relationship had never meant anything to him?

A sense of anger surged within her, hot and fierce against her skin as she struggled to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions raging within her. She had given him everything – her heart, her soul, her unwavering support – and yet, he had cast her aside without a second thought, replacing her with someone new as if she were nothing more than a passing fancy.

But beneath the anger, beneath the hurt and the betrayal, there was something else – something softer, something sadder. It was the realization that she had never truly known Jongho at all, that the man she had loved and trusted had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination, a mirage in the desert of her dreams.

And as she wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks, Y/N knew that she had to let go – let go of the anger, let go of the hurt, let go of the love that had once bound them together. For in the end, she realized, it was not her loss but his – his loss of the love and the light that she had once brought into his life.

With a heavy heart, she turned off her phone and curled up on the couch, enveloped in the suffocating silence of her shattered dreams. The memories of their time together flooded Y/N's mind, each moment etched into her heart like a bittersweet melody. But amidst the laughter and the love, there were also moments of doubt, moments of pain, moments when she had felt like she was fighting an uphill battle all on her own.

She remembered the countless times she had reached out to Jongho, pouring her heart out in messages that went unanswered, her pleas for reassurance met with silence or half-hearted apologies that offered little comfort.

She remembered the late nights spent waiting by the phone, her heart pounding in her chest as she hoped and prayed for a sign that Jongho still cared, still wanted her in his life. But more often than not, all she got was disappointment, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that refused to go away.

And then there were the times when they were together, when Jongho's attention was divided between her and his ever-growing list of responsibilities. She had always understood the demands of his career, had always been willing to support him in any way she could, but there were moments when she had felt like she was nothing more than an afterthought, a distraction from the chaos of his life.

She remembered the arguments they had, the harsh words exchanged in moments of frustration and anger, the wounds they had inflicted upon each other that refused to heal. And through it all, she had held on, believing that their love was strong enough to withstand any storm, that their bond was unbreakable.

But now, as she looked back on their relationship with a clarity born of hindsight, she couldn't help but wonder if she had been fooling herself all along. Had Jongho ever truly cared for her, truly valued her presence in his life? Or had she been nothing more than a temporary distraction, a fleeting moment of happiness in an otherwise chaotic existence?

The questions swirled within her, each one a dagger to her already wounded heart. But amidst the pain and the uncertainty, there was also a glimmer of hope – hope that she would someday find the answers she sought, hope that she would someday find the love and the happiness she deserved.

And as she closed her eyes and let the memories wash over her, Y/N knew that no matter what the future held, she would always carry a piece of Jongho with her – a piece of him that had shaped her, changed her, and ultimately, helped her become the person she was meant to be.

A sense of serenity settled over her as she spoke, a quiet confidence born of self-discovery and personal growth. "So, to answer your question," she concluded, her voice steady and sure, "No, I haven’t found the answer yet, but I’m still searching. I’ve gotten to the point of realizing what I need in a relationship and just what doesn’t work for me. The album is more about here’s what happened in mine, and if that’s happening to you, just run."

The interviewer chuckled softly, the tension in the room easing as Y/N's laughter filled the air. "Well, it sounds like you've gained a lot of insight from your experiences," they remarked, their tone warm with admiration. "And I'm sure your fans will appreciate the honesty and authenticity of the message."

Y/N smiled gratefully, a sense of pride swelling within her at the thought of connecting with her audience in such a profound way. "Thank you," she said sincerely, her voice filled with gratitude. "It's been a journey, that's for sure. But I wouldn't change a thing. Every heartache, every disappointment, every moment of doubt has led me to where I am today – and for that, I am truly grateful."

The interviewer nodded, their expression thoughtful as they considered Y/N's words. "It's clear that you've grown a lot from your experiences," they remarked, their tone filled with respect. "And I have no doubt that your journey will continue to inspire others to embrace their own truths and pursue their own paths to happiness."

Y/N smiled, a sense of peace settling over her as she reflected on the road she had traveled and the lessons she had learned along the way. Despite the twists and turns, the ups and downs, she knew that she was exactly where she was meant to be – guided by the power of her own truth and the unwavering support of those who believed in her.

And as she looked towards the future, filled with endless possibilities and infinite potential, Y/N knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, she was ready to face them head-on, armed with nothing but her truth and the unwavering support of her fans.

The interviewer smiled warmly, a sense of satisfaction filling the room as they concluded the interview. "Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Y/N," they said, their tone genuine. "It's been a pleasure getting to know you and hearing about your journey."

Y/N returned the smile, a sense of gratitude swelling within her at the opportunity to share her truth with the world. "Thank you for having me," she replied, her voice filled with sincerity. "It's been a privilege to be able to open up and connect with my fans in this way."

As they rose from their seats and exchanged final pleasantries, Y/N felt a sense of fulfillment wash over her, a quiet confidence born of self-discovery and personal growth. She knew that no matter what the future held, she was ready to face it head-on, armed with nothing but her truth and the unwavering support of those who believed in her.

Y/N made her way down the corridor, her mind still buzzing with the energy of the interview, she rounded a corner and nearly collided with someone coming from the opposite direction. Instinctively, she stepped back, her heart skipping a beat as she found herself face to face with Jongho.

For a moment, they stood there, locked in each other's gaze, the weight of their shared history hanging heavy in the air between them. And then, slowly, tentatively, Jongho offered her a small smile, a flicker of warmth in his eyes.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N's heart hardened at the sound of his voice, a surge of anger and resentment coursing through her veins. Without a word, she turned on her heel and continued down the hallway, refusing to waste another moment of her time on him.

Jongho's smile faltered as he watched her go, a pang of regret gnawing at his chest. He had hoped for a chance to make things right, to apologize for the pain he had caused her, but now, it seemed that door had closed for good.

As Y/N disappeared around the corner, Jongho was left standing alone in the hallway, his heart heavy with the weight of his mistakes. And as he watched her go, he knew that he had lost her – not just as a lover, but as a friend, a confidante, a part of his life he would never get back.

And as he turned and walked away, the echoes of their past lingering in the air, Jongho knew that he would carry the regret of losing her with him for the rest of his days – a reminder of the love he had let slip through his fingers, and the price he had paid for his pride.

Won't break, can't shake this fate, rewrite Deep breaths, tight chest, Life, death, rewind

next story coming soon......

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