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Can we just talk about how when you figure out you're a system, not only is it scary, but you feel like you have to be perfect? I'm sure we weren't the only ones feeling that way, and we should address it. I don't see any conversations about how when you find out you're a system, you feel like you have so many people in your head to help you, you have to be a functional human being, and not struggle with things like work, hygiene, relationships, taking care of yourself, etc. Cause how can it be that so many people were created to help out, and yet your life still- genuinely sucks in some ways??
I feel like that's such a big issue that isn't talked about a lot in the community and isn't taught to newly discovered systems. And it's such an important part of figuring your system out, this acceptance that even with your alters around, that doesn't make y'all perfect!! That doesn't make you functional, and it doesn't get rid of your issues, it just lands a tool! And tools need to be learned to use, like everything in your life. If you hand a toddler a fork and tell them to work with it, it doesn't matter that it always existed. The toddler has no idea how to use it, and they still gotta figure it out! And that process and the end result is different for everyone!
Y'all need to figure out what works for you, y'all. Especially those of you systems who discovered themselves recently or who are still figuring themselves out. Nothing is perfect, nobody is perfect, a system doesn't guarantee you a perfect life; it doesn't mean that just cause you have, say, alters in your system who formed to take care of the body, then your body will be awesome, amazing, you'll feel great physically, stop all self-destructive habits, etc.
Cut yourselves some slack. It's okay.
-host
#did#did system#osdd#osdd system#system#dissociative identity disorder#other specified dissociative disorder#system stuff#did osdd#system things#osdd 1a#osdd 1b#complex dissociative identity disorder#cdid system#cdid#did advice#system advice
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as someone who used to obsess w/ like logging switches and knowing everything that was going on in the system all the time im telling you it’s not worth the stress and it’s okay to just like chill out like not knowing who’s fronting is fine, not knowing who fronted a certain day is fine, not knowing who’s co-con/co-front is fine. dw about logging every single little thing 👍
#made by phoenix#did system#osddid#traumagenic system#traumagenic#actually did#system advice#did advice#polyfrag system#did osdd
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Okay I need some CDD to CDD feedback
I recently (months ago, lol) realized that I have a worse perception of colors than other alters in my system. Shades and cool tones are hard for me, while others in my system can get a perfect score on those color tests.
But today I just realized I can’t make out the clock from my work bend?? (While others can)
I wear glasses, but .. ?? has anyone else experienced differences like this?
I guess I just can’t wrap my head around why there would be a difference between us. Same eye balls??
#//#🔭#what’s next I gotta smell different too#complex dissociative disorder#did#did system#did advice#dissociative alters#dissociative identity disorder
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I'm super worried that I'm gonna go to therapy and learn that my trauma isn't bad enough for a cdd or that I really dont have any trauma besides what I remember. That somehow I experience being a system without it being possible that I could be one.
My whole world as I know it would crumble and its even worse cause it seems so possible with how little trauma I remember.
Is there anything that makes it so trauma is more impactful? Or maybe I really was just sensitive?
I've fought so hard for people to believe me, what if I was wrong and I genuinely lose everything?
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, anon. I want you to know, though, that trauma is not an event or set of events. Trauma is your reaction to those events. Something that is effectively harmless to one person can be traumatic to another. If you were distressed to the point of making use of dissociation as a coping mechanism in your early childhood, that’s all it takes. All it takes it for something to stress you, an impressionable and helpless child, out enough for you to need to dissociate repeatedly to cope with it. There’s no trauma that’s “enough” or “not enough” to cause a CDD.
Allow me to remind you, as well, that it’s completely normal for you to not remember most of your trauma at this point. And that which you do remember, you may not realize the extent of. It’s very common (it is a symptom of the disorder, actually) to minimize what you went through to yourself/to not realize how harmful it was to you.
What makes trauma more impactful? How sensitive you are to it. This could be caused by a million things, pathological and not.
I see a lot of systems worrying about whether their trauma was “enough” or not, and I challenge them with this: Not only was it “enough”— there’s no such thing as “bad enough”. A divorce, bullying in young childhood and not being supported well enough, physical neglect, poverty, natural disasters, emotional neglect, parentification, isolation— the list goes on.
#dissociative identity disorder#advice asks#syscourse#did advice#osdd#osddid#dissociative identity disorder advice
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Hi I'm sorry if you don't take asks like this but I really need some advice. I think I'm a system, it's becoming more and more clear to me and I think we're a system of four girls. I (I guess as the "host") am trying to communicate but I can only really hear certain things at certain times which makes communication really hard. Do you have any suggestions to help with that?
(As a disclaimer, I am going to respond to this on the assumption that you are correct that you are a system as we don't really like to assume people are or are not past what they say for themselves and from reading this I think that assumption is fitting for this anon; sorting out if you are a system is a whole headache of a thing that we can't comment much on, but I do want to put out best wishes on that cause damn that shit be rough)
Oh it's fun days of early system-hood and what not.
I wanna be upfront, its been a while since we've had to actively work with communication and high dissociative barriers so any suggestions and advice I might give here might be a bit "dusty" in the sense I haven't really been in your position for a while and thus I have to think back some to how it used to be for us so I wanted to apologize if any of this comes off as out of touch with the stress of being new to it.
Largely in earlier periods of identifying, getting to know, and communicating with parts that have higher dissociative barriers, I typically used to approach it in a few ways. I often try all of them and some parts and some situations work better with one approach than the other and what not.
Try to find out patterns and me mindful of what is going on and what sort of things seem to be correlated and related to the times when you do hear those parts.
It can be very helpful to have an idea of what parts (or if you are struggling to identify parts vs mood swings vs etc; what states of emotional regulations that feels incongruent with your sense of self) seem to occur relating to certain things going on in life and/or stimuli and/or experiences.
Often - at least in our experience - parts are prone to being near the front, prone to being closer in communication, easier to internally communicate with when something in life / in the environment is activating "their part of the brain" (which is our way of saying something that is connected / meaningful to that part).
If you can identify some of those patterns in life / the environment with the parts that are up and around, it can help you mentally prime yourself to notice opportunities where you might have an easier time reaching a part.
Additionally, later on as I suggest having a less direct approach early on as some parts can find it uncomfortable and "too forward" in my experience so take it slowly and respectfully, setting up the environment to have things associated with them and setting some mental space aside to actively try to reach them. It's always this kind of silly thing - especially when it doesn't work cause it doesn't always work - because it feels like some summoning ritual, but I like to think of it a lot more like a moderated meditation that is more internally focused on trying to talk to your parts than it is trying to be "present in your body" which can be extremely triggering for people with C-PTSD / DID that haven't gone through a lot of trauma processing.
If internal communication is still hard and/or you have a trusted person that you can talk to and reliably trust with venting, personal issues, etc - ask if they could help.
Having an external person can really help in the early periods of trying to mediate and communicate messages to other parts in a more natural manner. It does require that the person be someone you know you can trust and someone that is cool with doing this and so I suggest you ask if they are willing to first cause... ya know, boundaries are important, especially with your trusted confidants.
But if you have someone who is safe, trusted, and willing to do so, it can be helpful to ask them "hey if I suddenly change my mind on this can you remind me (insert thing)" (<- good for when you don't know any part in specific but have noticed this is something that isn't coordinated), "if I start doing XYZ or claim I am XYZ can you let them know / pass on the message that (XYZ)", and for parts that aren't the host and/or have information that the "host can't know but might be helpful to someone wanting to support them" you can also tell that person "hey Host doesn't need to know the specifics but here is some context so please be kind about this" (<- helpful when you have a trusted person who is willing and wanting to help you as a whole heal as their knowledge of it can help slowly ease hard concepts to parts that were otherwise unaware)
Having an external person help facilitate can be helpful in priming yourself to be aware and cognicent of other parts and help get important messages through.
Use writing, maps, and journals.
And if neither of those work OR you just want to try another method along side them, a thing I found that was immensely helpful early on was to just have a journal, notepad, or something to write on. Setting a habit and precedent of writing notes and leaving them in the open, putting annoying commentary on notes that were taken at school (may that be hi or playful jabs or whatever your communication style is) - it sets a good will and good foundation for being open to conversation and a good intent to want to get to know the others that share the life
A thing that I found that was helpful later in life for really complex conversations was to kind of just do a brainstorming web with colored pens, assigning / claiming one color to a part then - with whoever is out - looking at it, filling out all the main lines of thought to the topic as they have and literally writing down every thought that may be even the slightest relevant in a kind of "brainstorm web" style that makes sense
Then you can set that aside in a place you know the body frequents a lot with other pen colors (maybe put an instruction on the top to "just add your commentary and thoughts" if the dissociative barriers are high) and hope that the next time someone else is out (or if you do the "summoning ritual" thing from the top you may be able to get someone out, but again, don't do that unless you have permission from the part) they will add to the web. And the time it takes to get a full image of what multiple parts think and feel on a topic will vary depending on the parts, topic, and your experience of doing this and what not, but overtime youll get a more collected and cohesive summary of what multiple parts are thinking and which parts think that and which parts disagree. Then when you have a lot of information, you can look at the whole brain storming web and kind of try to understand the overall picture before making a decision.
#alter: riku#alter: fei#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder#advice#suggestions#communication#alter communication#communicating with alters#did advice#ask#asks
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Anybody got any tips for how to front and see the headspace vividly at the same time?
When I'm not fronting it's usually just me being in this void or something, I don't have access to the front room headspace compared to other headmates. And when I do, i front again and everything I did feels like it didn't happen and my emotions feel disconnected from where I previously was.
Also do tell me if this happens to other people as well, I'd like to not be the only one :]
#did system#system#did#dissociative identity disorder#plural#Plurality#Did system#System did#System headspace#Did tip#Did advice#System advice
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Are there any other DID folks with introjects floating around here? I'm really struggling this week with some stuff that came up during a bad switch and I'm not entirely sure what to do.
I'm fairly new to knowing about my alters, it's only been about 3 years since the first switching event, and every attempt to communicate with this part has just been extremely hostile. They genuinely hate me and I spent several hours last week just being subjected to all their opinions and loathing and I'm really struggling to manage that, because they seem to genuinely believe what they're saying and it's sort of like. Idk it's just really hard to get the feeling out of my head.
I've got my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and he's going to tell me to try and communicate or journal, which I'm doing. But I just wanted to know if anyone who actually has introjects has any experience with how to manage that sort of feeling of being submerged in someone else's version of reality and trying to separate from that.
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Any advice for someone who might've split a fictive and has never really done it before?
I'm doubting myself bad and feel I'm faking it. I only have one other introject.
The source is pretty obscure too.
Advice?
#fictive#actually osdd#osdd 1b#osdd system#osddid#did osdd#osdd#other specified dissociative disorder#osdd advice#traumagenic system#plural system#system stuff#advice#did advice
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hi friends! does anyone have any advice on telling someone you’re close to that you’re a system? specifically close friends/partners/relationships where there’s already a lot of trust and understanding. we just can’t figure out how to bring it up or explain it to someone who has no knowledge base for did/osdd :/
#osdd#did osdd#did#did system#dissociative identity disorder#osdd system#dissociative system#osddid#actually plural#actually disabled#did community#did alter#did advice#mental health#disability
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How do yall keep track of your alters because I'm struggling
Especially if you also struggle with schizophrenia like us
#disociation#nim#did info#endos dni#anti endo#anti endogenic#did#actually did#did amnesia#did system#didosdd#did advice#disociative identity disorder#actually dissociative#schizoposting#schizospeaking
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Are there any online apps you use to communicate with other people but still appear as distinct alters? Discord has unfortunately become triggering for us, and we are looking for other options that work similar to PluralKit.
-physical persecutor
P.S. We mean where you can talk to other people out of our system! That's the biggest struggle here. =^=
-sexual protector
#did#did system#osdd system#osdd#system#dissociative identity disorder#other specified dissociative disorder#system stuff#system things#did osdd#osdd 1a#osdd 1b#complex dissociative identity disorder#did question#system questions#system advice#did advice#discord server#discord chat#pluralkit
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Safe sex is important! Not just condoms and birth control but remember:
Pee after sex to prevent UTIs
Clean your sex toys before and after use
Always use lube even if you think you’re wet enough
You and your partner should always have a safe-word even if you aren’t doing bondage. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to stop at any time.
Discuss boundaries, sexual history, kinks, and history of drug use
If you plan to do oral make sure the area is cleaned beforehand
Dental dams are also good if you plan to do oral
Get tested for STDs and don’t have sex with other people if you suspect you may have an STD, UTI, or yeast infection
If you are purchasing sex toys make sure the materials are body safe. Here is a pretty decent guide.
And another
And finally always remember consent is key! Be safe, everybody!
❤️ Read our pinned before interacting ❤️
#mod ryan#did positivity#osdd positivity#system positivity#did#osdd#system advice#osdd advice#did advice#dissociative identity disorder#otherwise specified dissociative disorder#did osdd#osddid
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Regarding the journal stuff, I see a tooonn of systems saying they’d love to journal, but they can never keep up with it or stick to it, etc etc. and I just wanted to say that like
You don’t have to do it everyday. Keeping a journal for us is just how we like to organize information & notes. And on average we write in it once a week
If you want to keep a daily journal, especially for systems that struggle with time recollection, amnesia, and similar stuff, I highly suggest the app Daylio
We have it set up so that even if we can’t write about our day, we can at least keep an entry to log the simple stuff. Here’s how we set it up;
We have an “activity group” for front, and actual activities. This is what our entries normally look like;
Sometimes headmates will write a lot more, and other times we just don’t have the energy. But it’s nice to at least be able to know what we were doing. Hope this helps someone!
#ugh this has been in drafts for so long#i can’t bring myself to try and edit it / whatever#okay post#//#system advice#did journal#system journal#osdd journal#did osdd#did advice#osdd advice#/info
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Something I've never understood was innerworlds. We've always assumed we just dont have one because our experience never sounded like anyone elses.
What is an innerworld like? Is it like dreaming, where you sorta experience things and then come back and feel kinda weird about the whole thing?
Is it just mostly a collection of memories you have when you come back?
Or is it like something else entirely?
An innerworld is first and foremost a tool. The online community makes it seem like it’s something that comes in the box, part of the package deal— but that’s not really the case. A large amount, if not a majority, of CDD systems have to work either on their own or in therapy to build an innerworld. I am one of those, actually.
It truly depends on the imagination/level of visualization of the person in question, but an innerworld is really just… Your way of visualizing your inner happenings and your way of organizing and compartmentalizing them. Some people (usually those who have had issues with Maladaptive Daydreaming) have extremely complex innerworlds where there’s constantly stuff going on and where their parts lead complex inner lives. Others, like me (though I have had intense issues with maladaptive daydreaming, I also have brain damage and much more difficulty visualizing nowadays) just have a place/map that they try to visualize that helps them organize and associate different parts with different visualizations to help with calling them forward.
For me and for many, innerworld visualization is just like imagining anything else, but the things that I imagine are there to help me organize my system and aid in recovery. Some things that are there do just “pop up”, and seem to come naturally. Kind of in a similar way to other communication from parts. It can be a little dreamy in that sense— in the sense that the things that are there are many times strange, subconsciously generated imagery/metaphor.
For others, it is an immersive experience like a dream— kind of like how it is to do the whole maladaptive daydreaming thing. I remember that I used to spend most of my time in my own little made up world, imagining scenarios and characters and stories. I imagine it’s a lot like that, though now that’s much harder for me to do.
#advice asks#dissociative identity disorder#inner world#osdd#dissociative identity disorder advice#osddid#did advice#asks
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how does one bring up being a system to their therapist /genq
i would be straight up. i’ve been diagnosed for a while (i was about 14 when i got the bomb dropped. made finding treatment easier down the road, though) and i’ve had to move therapists as i’ve lived in different places, and honestly, i’ve developed the method of being upfront. if a therapists is unqualified to treat did, i don’t want them working for me. so i just tell them— i have DID, and i need a therapist with experience to treat and help me. have you treated anyone with it before?
if it’s a therapist you’ve been with for a long time it’s a bit different, though. i don’t really have experience with that specifically, but i would honestly just open up the floor and bring it all out. if i understand correctly, you want to ask about figuring out a diagnosis and treatment situation, and in that case it’s best to be honest about your experiences and be direct. hey, i think i might have a dissociative disorder and some buried childhood trauma and i’d like to talk about this with you— diagnosis, your experience if any (have you ever treated someone with one in the past?), and if you’re qualified to treat (this is important) complex, long term, childhood trauma.
please make sure you are specifying that, as treatment for that specific trauma is different from normal PTSD treatment. this is why EMDR has to be specifically modified for CPTSD/BPD/DID, and why some patients opt for the more specifically adapted brainspotting (similar to EMDR but for complex trauma) instead.
do not be afraid to drop a therapist. if your therapist is not working for you, what are they doing?! you need to figure out what’s going on and at the very least be treated for your trauma by someone who knows how!
if you are looking for a therapist or at any point end up looking for one, the psychology today therapist search can help with that. you can narrow it down by tons of categories, see their specialties, if they take your insurance, all sorts of things! i recommend being straight up with them in the calling/emailing phase and seeing if they have experience and can treat and help you. if not, onto the next one! i spent a couple of weeks looking for my current T when i moved, but he’s amazing. he’s been treating DID patients for a long while and knows exactly how to help me, and it’s thanks to being direct and making sure i was getting what i needed. don’t be afraid to try again or look around— they work for you, not the other way around.
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Yesterday I was at the skating rink with my other friend and a good friend from school, (I’ll call the friend from school H, and my friend X,). I got an idea since we’re already out as a system to X for a while, and I told H we were Transmasc. Still not out as a system to her. At the time, we were at the table and I got to ask her I prefer the name Kevin around only her and X, and she said “Of course, man!” So I was like BAJSHBDBHDHJDHHSHSGWGQGQGQVSGGS
So I’m thinking about telling her I’m a system, but I’m still not sure. I just wanna get to actually introduce myself and tell her I was fronting during most of the time at school (we’re out of public school now.) and I’m still not sure what to do. I’m pretty sure I made a post in the past about this. This post is about new updates and stuff.
#system#system advice#did#did advice#advice#plural#plurality#system did#introject#did system#dissociative identity disorder#system fictive#fictive#system introject
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