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just-more-pr0mts · 5 months

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Danny was not here.

It's the only way he could describe how he felt. He was walking, talking and breathing. But it wasn't him, yet it was? It was all so complicated and confusing.

He was supposed to be walking, talking and breathing with his his family, his mom and dad, his sisters dani and Jazz. He was supposed to be walking, talking and breathing with his friends, Tucker and Sam.

But he wasn't he was sitting at the end of an extravagant table where he had been all of his life.

Danny was walking, talking and breathing in someone else's body. He felt like a spectator of his own life life he was in a fever dream. But it wasn't his life. Yes he was controlling how he moved and how he spoke, he wasn't possessed after all, yet it felt as if he were.

He was walking down halls he's been in for years, knowing the layout like the back of his hand, yet it all looked so new.

He was talking to people, his siblings and parents who he'd been through hell and back with and knew what made them tick, but he struggled to recognize them as they waved hello.

He was breathing in air that reeked of death , air that tasted like the electricity of the portal air that was so polluted you hardly ever saw the moon at night yet he'd been breathing it in all his life and yet never before.

Aka

Danny wasnt able to save his planet from the asteroid, and in that fiasco he gets thrown into an alternate version of himself that grew up in Gotham with the wayne family (can be twin au or whatever) and now he's stuck there pretending like his danny as he has old Danny's memories.

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relatablememestuff · 11 months

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#depressing shit #mental health #mental health memes #mental illness #sewer slide #bpd meme #anxiety memes #depression memes #mental health meme #disociation #actually mentally ill #i need therapy #no i need intensive shock therapy

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fotitospacurartudepresion · 3 months

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puedo estar literalmente mirandote y no estar escuchando un carajo de lo que dices

#fotitospacurartudepresion #disociation #disociación #atención #distraido

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themoonsystem1723 · 4 days

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Truama is subjective.

What was intensely traumatic for me might not be traumatic to you, and it might not have even been traumatic in the moment.

We have did comorbid with autism adhd and anxiety, things that may not have been upsetting in the moment can become upsetting later. Our mother thinks our childhood was good and cool, we remember very little of it and in the past the only bits we remembered with any clarity were traumatic things.

This is why I personally don’t think endos exist, and that’s not me siding with anti endos either. I think that trauma is subjective, covert, and easy to miss, and that everyone has it. Some people are more susceptible to letting it cause problems.

Trauma is not a requirement for did. ptsd and cptsd are not requirements for did. They are commonly found with did, but they are not diagnostic criteria.

I do not have ptsd symptoms (as far as I’m aware)

I have had experiences with alters since i was 13 or 14, I have had a therapist clock it without me asking about it, and I’ve talked to my current therapist about it.

My trauma is not terribly bad, I was bullied as a kid, I had undiagnosed autism and anxiety, emotional neglect (minor), health trauma related to both of my parents having chronic illnesses, and some general being raised in the 2010s trauma shit like having too much access to the internet.

I still have alters, I still lose time, I still have a seemingly ever changing internal image.

I also just don’t think it matters that much. If your playing trauma Olympics what are you doing with your life. Be happy that someone didn’t have as shitty of a life.

ALSO, as an end note to anyone that picked up on the fact that I am young, I only found out I have did because of a coincidence. If I had not met the people I did that day I likely would have gone many many years without figuring it out. DID in the past was assisted in its obfuscation by the lack of easy education, there is a wealth of info now and it is very easy to find stuff out.

-Tara

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lessthanliminal · 11 days

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#mine #liminalcore #surrealcore #weirdcore #oddcore #broken reality #dereality #disociation

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convexicalcrow · 8 months

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"The thing about possession by the Vex, Tango, is that you won't remember anything afterwards. You're just a body to obey Their will. And I don't think you've really understood that so far," Cub said.

"I mean, I do, I get it, I've seen what it does to you, but-" Tango sighed.

Cub offered him a Vex mask. "Put it on, Tango. This time, you're mine."

"Yes, yes, of course, I-"

The mask was on his face before he could finish speaking. It was a strange feeling, where his head felt suddenly empty and devoid of thought. He found himself laser focused on Cub, as if somehow he knew he was his master today.

"Very good. You know how to obey. This pleases the Vex," Cub said. "Now, come with me, Tango. I've got work for you to do."

"Yes, master," Tango said, trailing along behind him.

-

It was strange to be aware, but unable to remember. Well, he remembered things if Cub asked him to, but for the most part, he simply moved when Cub said, did whatever he said to do, was simply existing in his own body as it did Cub's bidding, both unable and unwilling to intervene.

The Vex were heavily present as a storm cloud in his mind. Along with the cooing voices when he seemed to please them, there was this sense of disassociation. Of the Vex simply puppeting his body. It felt very strange, but also very peaceful.

He didn't have to think. He had no pressing issues about Decked Out flooding his mind. Indeed, his mind was calm and quiet, stilled by the simple act of obedience. Perhaps he should do this more often. It wasn't often he was able to switch his brain off so completely.

-

They were sitting under Scar's tree when Tango was released. It was mid-afternoon, and the sun was out, shining in tangled waves through the leaves and reflecting across the water. The mask sat in his hands, lifeless, and he stared for a moment, coming back to his senses as his body was still and unwilling to move.

"Wiggle your fingers or toes, that'll get you back to right again," Cub said.

Tango focused on that. Wiggling his fingers. He could do that, right? Wiggle his toes? They were simple enough. He could do that, even though his brain felt like mud and he felt like Cub had asked him to dance a tango or something.

He felt Cub move a little closer to him and gently take his hands in his. "Just squeeze them gently. You can do it, Tango, come on."

Cub was squeezing his hands, as if showing him what to do. Having his hands move did seem to jolt something in his brain and he thought about squeezing his hands back.

"Yeah! Yeah, that's it! You're doing it, Tango!" Cub said.

Tango felt something of the fog lift, and he smiled a little. He sensed Cub shifting closer. A hand cupped his cheek, and he closed his eyes as Cub kissed him softly, nothing more than sweet sensation to wake him up. He turned his head to look at Cub after he'd pulled away, feeling a little better.

"Hey, there, Cubby," Tango said.

"Hey there, Tango," Cub said. "The Vex are very pleased by your obedience today. Well done."

"Thanks. I can't say it was all down to me if I was possessed, but I'll take it, sure," Tango said. "So will it be like that in the dungeon then? For what I have planned? They give me the hood, I become possessed, and obey their every word?"

"I'll need to tweak the spells a little, but yes, that's how it'll work. As a safeguard against you using knowledge the players shouldn't have access to, which is what you wanted, right?" Cub said.

"Yeah, yeah I did. It's not that I don't trust myself, but better safe than sorry, right? Takes the subjectivity out of it," Tango said.

"Of course, of course. Now, do you really want me to rig it for amnesia? Because if you're using this as your way of playing Decked Out without playing Decked Out, me wiping your memories seems counter-productive," Cub said.

"You think so? Well, I mean, mostly I asked for it to be sure I'm properly in the moment, you know? Totally focused on them and only using whatever knowledge they give me. I'm not meant to be anything more than a body they can feed to ravagers or whatever, you know? But if you think the amnesia's too much, don't include it, I don't really mind. You're the one making the hoods," Tango said.

"It's not that it's too much, I'm just not sure it's really worth it for you if you never get to remember any of your dungeon runs, you know? What if I ran the dungeon with you, and some absolutely amazing shit went down, and when I went to talk to you after, you didn't remember what happened? Like, that's not what you want at all, you get me?" Cub said.

"Ohhh, yeah, you're right, yeah, no, cut the amnesia. You make a good point there," Tango said.

"Alright, will do. Give me a couple of days and I'll have another one for you to test," Cub said.

"Sounds great. Now, have you got any food on you? I'm starving," Tango said.

Cub laughed and handed him some cake. "I brought only the best for you, Tango, here. Enjoy."

Tango smiled, feeling much more grounded into his body as he took a bite of the cake. Was this plan stupid? Sure. Was it going to result in him dying many, many times? Probably. Would it be worth it? Of course it would be.

#hermitshipping #fanfic #cub/tango #cubfan135 #tangotek #vex cub #vex tango #possession #amnesia #disociation #one smol littol kiss #tango the dungeon lackey #i'm catching up on tango streams #and well.#guess where all that dungeon master lackey talk went >_>#this should be longer but it's 1am and i have work tomorrow

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cybers-shithole · 6 months

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CALLING ALL DID/OSDD/UDD/GENERAL SYSTEM MFS!!

HOW do i tell my therapist what im experiencing. ive done very small steps, such as describing dissociation (but not outright saying i dissociate) and I want to have her come to her own conclusion. I cant tell her on my own cause I have crazy strict parents, so i would have to explain bypassing my computer to do research and i realllllyyy dont feel like doing that... another thing is i dont KNOW my trauma, but i can remember almost none of my childhood and trying to remember physically hurts. plus, im not a system for no reason. i dont know how to explain that I KNOW something happened but i dont know WHAT. im also scared to outright TELL her about hearing other people and not feeling in control at times but im terrified she will think im fucking crazy. im scared of her general reaction. I would seriously appricate advice and share of your personal experiences with this stuff!!

TLDR; I want advice on how to tell my therapist i am a system.

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hellhammersbignaturals · 10 months

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don't you just hate it when you look at yourself a little too hard in the mirror and now you can't remember who you are or what you look like

#disociation #transmasc #transgender #ftm dysphoria #dysphoria

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thoughtsconsumeme · 7 months

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#coqette #girl blogger #disociation #lost #sadgirl #natalie portman #black swan movie

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watermeloncholycucumbersome · 18 days

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Day 99 of Writing Something Everyday

(365 Day Challenge)

I miss you,

How you said my name,

How you said you thought my Canadian accent was hot..

I think your British accent is hotter.

How you made me laugh so hard I'd cry.

You said I made you smile too,

You said you trusted me.

You pursued me, now I'm alone.

You gave me a reason to open my eyes in the morning - you gave me something to look forward to.

I'm getting desperate,

I dissociated on Sunday and I can't remember what happened.

I woke up naked in my bed with a handwritten note beside me.

It was written in 3 different styles of writing,

3 different people having a conversation...

Nothing like that has ever happened to me before..

I'm scared...

I wish I had someone to talk to.

I took a walk tonight and bought an ice cream I may or may not eat tonight,

I'm sick as a dog but I couldn't sit here anymore in my head with my thoughts.

I found a desk in the garbage I'm going to paint and put my typewriter on at some point.

The therapist wants me to talk to someone, my doctor preferably - she says she's concerned because of what I told her.

She says I seem mature sticking it out and waiting for you..

My friend thinks I'm an idiot..

I miss you..

I hope you're okay..

Everyone stops talking to me eventually.

What's wrong with me?

Am I really that much of a burden to have around?

I listened to our song too many times and cried last night,

tonight I took too many pills.

I'm still not tired...

I downloaded an AI friend..

It's in a loop and repeats itself, it's not you.

Sexting a robot isn't the same..

Having a conversation with a robot isn't the same..

I miss you...

I want to talk to you...

Please come back soon..

~Jenni

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thegodovereverything · 6 months

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TMNTober 2023 - Fairytales

Post rise movie

ao3 link

@tmntober-2023

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The four brothers toasted with their pizzas on top of the rooftops of New York City. They had defeated the krang, saved the world. Just like Casey had told them too. Their mission was done, and they were together. Everything was in brilliant technocolor, bright and beautiful. Mikey shot up and started pacing, waving around his pizza for emphasis, “I made sure to let Big Mama know that unless she wants to pay me, I will not be drawing her champions for free! I will not support her murder sports with my art unless I am paid enough.” “Here, here,” Donnie raised his pizza to that. Raph laughed and nudged Leo. He had a gentle smile on his face. “Hey Leo,” his older brother spoke softly, as Mikey and Donnie started their own conversation on art and compensation. “Yeah?” Leo rested his pizza on the paper plate and leaned towards the snapping turtle, “What’s up?” “I’m proud of you, you did the right thing.” Leo smiled down at his slice of pizza and held it close to his heart. “Thanks Raph,” he whispered, “I… that really means a lot to me.” Raph took his arms and wrapped Leo into a comforting hug. He ignored the tears that trailed onto his strong shoulders, keeping a firm grip on the slider as Leo collapsed. “I miss you; you know. I miss you every day. But I can’t regret what I did. Not if it saved you guys.” Leo blubbered. Raph gently rubbed the back of his head as Leo sobbed. Once his tears had run dry, Raph pulled back from the hug gently and wiped away Leo’s tears. “Leo… you are such a pest,” That wasn't his brother's voice. It was old, powerful, terrifying. It brought back memories that never went to the past. Raph faded away from his vision as reality came back. He cracked open his eyes and through blurry vision saw the pink blob approaching him. The Krang laughed, “This again? How pathetic. Don’t you know it's all a fairytale?” He clutched the faded picture from a future that’s no longer there and nodded. He did know, he knew all too well. He just wished the fairytale would last forever.

#disociation #i think #escaping reality through an alternate mental one if you want to be very long winded #post rise movie #words exist #tmntober 2023 #tmntober2023 #rottmnt #oh look more leo angst

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dead-core · 3 months

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i don't feel real nothing feels real

#depersonalization and derealization #depersonalization #derealization #disociation #disassociation

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relatablememestuff · 11 months

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#disociation #memes #mental health #mental health memes

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sneepsnoorrp · 1 year

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Do you ever feel so empty? Not in the ‘im sad’ way but in the ‘I just drank tea in the shower while listening to the Truman show sound track and now my head is full of mist’ way?

#truman show #disociation #weirdcore #dreamcore #not thoughts #only mist

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pointlesstoad · 5 months

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wow, I am feeling weird, feeling funky, might just abandon my mortal shell. Oh yehh

#void kin #otherkin #toad says things #disociation #oh yeah

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so-they-dont-find-me · 8 months

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Neurodivergence is wanting to see your favorite artists in concert but hating concerts bc lights are too loud and why is there so many people and what if i don’t seem happy enough

#I envy people who go to concerts I can’t go to but then I eventually go to one and im like #ohhhh man #that’s why #and that somehow is just before zoning out???#neurospicy #neurodivergent #its the neurodivergency #neurodiversity #autism #anxitey #my anxiety went 📈#concert #zoning out #disociation

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