#delusion answers
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Jinx x fem! Reader - Tick tock
A/n: I had some much fun with this request, I took some creative liberties but I had an idea and I just couldn't get it out of my head! Enjoy!
Request: Hey! Can I request a jinx x reader who were childhood friends but Jinx thought she died so in a fight with Jinx reader's mask is knocked off, jinx recognizes her and takes her?
Warnings: death, violence, swearing, ptsd, jinx being jinx, cannon? I don't know her, I think that's it? You have been warned!
The three P's:
[Pronouns used: she/her, you/your] [Pov: 2nd person] [Pairings: (romantic!) jinx x reader, (platonic/parental!) silco x reader, (platonic!) ekko x reader]
1 week ago
The Firelights were swarming her, and Violet and that stupid enforcer.
But she would kill them, she would make them pay for ever trying to attack her and her sister.
They were like bugs, fluttering around on tiny wings without care but to annoy her. She brought some down, but flies have always been hard to catch.
A slash across her leg as she screams in pain and repeatedly hits the foolish firelight who hit her. Again, and again.
The raven mask breaks off the firelight's face and-
You.
The smoke bomb erupts from behind her and instinctively she latches onto you as she cries out for Vi. Her sister, they took her, she left- No! They took her!
She left her again.
"Jinx, let me go!" You hissed at her as you struggled in her grip and attempt to back away from her.
"You're supposed to be dead!" She counters back hugging you close to her chest as manic sobs leave her throat. "Why did you leave me?" Jinx finds herself uttering those words all over again but this time without a cry, or a harsh gut-wrenching scream. Just with a broken voice beaten through the horrors of the undercity.
"The Firelights saved me, but I was in a coma for a long time. By the time I had waken up you had already moved on as much as you could with your life. You were healing." You mutter the last three words with a kindness she only knew from you.
She didn't need to know that wasn't the whole truth.
Jinx shakes her head and with her light pink and baby blue polished nails, she cups your face, her fingernails digging into the cheeks of your skin.
"You're never leaving me."
Gripping your hands on her arms as you nodded your head, not erratically like her, but calm - eerily calm.
"Never again."
5 years ago
Jinx as always was all over the place, that was just her personality, crazy as a bug but with the intelligence of the best inventors of Piltover. Probably better. Just the way you liked her, though you would like her even if she wasn't bat-shit crazy.
Where Jinx was messy, you made up for it with your preciseness, with your black suits and room put all together nicely. You appeared to be the opposite of Jinx, yet you both had more in common then anyone would ever think.
"Birds of a feather, flock together."
Even at fourteen years old, the world was already starting recognize you as the daughters of Silco.
They would never be ready for you.
6 months ago
"Y/n!" Jinx screamed at you, trying to warn you of the upcoming drop as you, Jinx, and Silco were leaping from the rooftops. As your dad decided to teach the two of you another lesson.
Yet it was too late, and your foot slipped as you threw your head back in laughter, and your body tumbled down to the hard, grim-ridden ground.
You didn't even get to finish your laugh.
It will never escape you, the irony of the situation. According to statics Jinx was the one who was the most likely to fall, hell even Silco had more of a chance of falling off the rooftops than you. Even with all your perfectness you still slipped from that roof.
Jinx went to jump down after you as Silco held her back she hit, yelled, and kicked him until exhaustion over took her. Although Silco held on all throughout the battle because he wasn't going to go and lose another daughter.
When they left, with a sobbing Jinx in tow a green light hovered over top of you as a brave firelight snatched you from the ground. Your faint pulse beating underneath his fingers.
8 years ago
"Y/n!" Powder called out for you.
"Powder?" You question her from your spot in your "nest" as Vander liked to call your special spot in the room.
She plops down on top of your lap with eyes full of tears she refused to shed lest she be called a baby by Mylo or Claggor.
"What's wrong Bug?" You ask her with her nickname that no one else was allowed to use. One time Violet tried and you knocked her in the jaw, you were on cleaning duty for a week after that.
Slowly, you wrapped your arms around her, bringing her into a hug.
A smile is brought onto her face as she shakily replies. "Mylo said I was a jinx again Toots." She says your nickname back with a frown on her face when she speaks about her perpetrator.
Narrowing your eyes at the door as if Mylo would come through at that instant.
"I'll kill him." You growled and squeezed Powder gently in your arms.
Giggling, Powder shook her head. You always went for violence first, it was almost concerning for Vander and Vi as they were the only ones that could've distinguished that in the Lanes never thinking twice about violence made you dangerous. They wanted you safe, but they didn't want you to be dangerous to be so.
Despite this, Powder never went against your nature, and you never babied her but thought of her as a real person. A real friend, as an equal.
Not that the two of you knew that, you were both only eleven!
"Mylo is still one of us." She states snuggling into your arms. "You can use one of my glitter bombs though!"
7 years ago
Sure you had felt bad when you hadn't come back to Vander, but as a twelve year old you thought you knew the in and outs of everything. The secrets of the world. As you had willingly stayed with Silco when Vi, Mylo, Claggor, and Powder were forced to leave you behind on a supply run gone bad.
The only person you truly missed was Powder, but you knew even through your childish jealousy that she would never leave Violet.
"Y/n." Silco called out to you, as your sharpened your new knives that he had gifted you.
"Yes?" You replied, placing your daggers on the table and jumped from your seat to meet up with the industrialist and a blue haired girl trailing behind him.
"I would like you to meet Jinx." He says, a bit nervously hoping that you - someone who is like a daughter to him would like the girl he had ultimately decided to take in as well.
He stepped to the side and-
Her.
"Bug?" You inquire confused, your mask that you had been wearing for a year had broken. She was back to you, you both were finally home.
5 days ago
"Bug, you have to let me go." You sigh as jinx wrapped her arms further around you and narrowed her eyes down at you.
"No! You'll leave, and I'll never get to tell you-" She chokes on a sob.
Your own eyes filled with tears, Jinx was the only person who could enlist such strong reactions from you. You wanted to hate it, but you would hate her in return if you did, and you could never hate your Bug.
Closing your eyes you realize what was truly going through her mind.
"I'm yours Jinx." You open your eyes to find her intense blue ones staring right back at you.
"I've always been yours."
Jinx blinked a couple of times before smiling her soft smile only few have seen. That even less deserve.
"Me to Toots."
1 day ago
"Thank you councilor for meeting up with me today" You examined your nails as if they weren't ugly and torn apart from where you lived. To this Councilor, it probably made you look unaffected by the contents of this meeting.
"I've seen to be meeting up with you people a lot." He says, obviously stressed.
His name was Jayce Talis, a new councilor and the easiest to manipulate considering Councilor Medarda did it pretty well. Also if he didn't want him and his friends to go down.
"Tell me councilor, what do you think the council will do when they figured out you gave a person of Zaun a hexstone."
You took out the stone from your pocket and let it fall around in your hands.
"What would happen to councilor Medarda for supporting? What would happen to your partner, in perhaps more ways then one; your dear Viktor? Would they send him back to the undercity?"
What could you say? You had done your research and those two inventors have been fueling the tension for years. Hopefully this would be enough to scare the two together.
You slowly let the news sink in and as he girts his teeth and curled his fists and finally the defender of Piltover gave in.
"What do you want." Talis raised his voice in fury.
"Clear Jinx's name." You stated as if it were so simple.
"The council won't just "let up" and clear her name without reason!"
You had a crooked grin on your face.
"Would a corrupt enforcer do it?"
3 years ago
Jinx's bomb exploded in the background as you calmly walked up to the cowering Pilte who had betrayed your father (Silco) and didn't transport the shimmer he was supposed to.
"Please..." He begged for his life, tears brimming his eyes as you flicked out a knife from the inside of your sleeve.
You looked at the man with a deadpan expression on your face, what a pathetic piece of garbage.
Some small little giggles could be heard coming from behind the Pilte causing you to smirk. As you turned around and started walking away you heard the grateful pleas of the man until there was another explosion behind you.
Jinx leaped up beside you and leaned her head against your shoulder as you gazed upon the sunset. It was a good sunset you had to admit, but it couldn't beat the ones in Zaun. You guys just had a far better view then them.
"Silco's going to pissed!" Jinx laughs and laced your hands together.
You shook your head as she swung your hands back and forward.
"I already took care of the idiot's affairs, father already knows."
"You're so formal!" She jumps in front of you, and jabs you in the ribs. "Lighten up Toots!"
Smiling at her, you take her face into your hands.
"That's your job Bug."
2 days ago
"Dad?" You questioned as you came into his office with your girlfriend beside you.
She hadn't left your side ever since she had taken you back from the Firelights clutches. It was a bit much and put a damper in your plans, (also there was the fact that you knew the ultimatum the idiot councilor had given Silco.)
Also you didn't know if you still deserved to call him the title you had given him years ago.
"Y/n?" His voice echoed around the room in disbelief before he was up and pulled up you into a hug.
Yes, there was always more to do but you had reunited with your father and now girlfriend.
You were home.
Present time
Jinx laid on your lap as you braided her hair and whispered sweet nothings in her ear.
Zaun was finally free.
3 months ago
"Y/n, you can't just kill people because you want to!" Ekko seethed at you, furious as you played with a dagger.
Rolling your eyes, you pushed yourself off of the tree. "And I already told you Ekko, I do what I want when you hurt Jinx!" You snarled.
Ekko sighed, this wasn't the first time he's had this conversation with you. You're a force to be reckoned with, he should have expected you to be, you were one of the half's of the daughters of Silco for crying out loud!
You were also the same as when you were young.
Although you were usually calm when you had this repeated conversation, Ekko knew when he could physically see you getting more angry every time, this time though you were nearly furious, he had to make a different deal with you.
"Okay Y/n, I'll make you a deal." He started officially picking at your interests, but he couldn't be quite sure so it made him slightly nervous. He did this thing where he would fiddle with his hands when he was nervous, he's done the same thing since he was a boy.
How has everything stayed the same yet it changed so much simultaneously?
"It's not possible for us not to harm Jinx, she's a constant around us and it isn't working."
You nearly wanted to snap at him, hurting Jinx had never been an option in your mind.
Your eyes flashed dangerously, but you waited still, to hear the rest of his bargain.
Ekko usually had more tricks up his sleeve then the other children in the past, it would be a useful skill to still have. For your sanity, and his life you hope he did.
"But I will personally make sure nobody kills Jinx, or fatally injures her and I will get you one of those stones from Piltover."
Blinking a few times you curled your hands together and as you did, Ekko took a few frantic steps back,
Ekko had made you enraged, because this is an offer you can't refuse.
So you calmed yourself and coolly placed your hand out for Ekko to shake as if you were the one to propose the deal in the first place.
Ekko hadn't given you freedom, but he had given you something to destroy Piltover. To clear Jinx's name.
A deal.
Words 2286
-thedelusionreaderbitch
Arcane taglist: None yet
#jinx x reader#jinx arcane x reader#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane league of legends#delusion writes#silco x reader#arcane silco x reader#tick tock#delusion answers#league of legends#ekko x reader#jinx x fem! reader#gay#lesbians#sappic#wlw#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader
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Throw back to that one Insta story in 2018 we’re court said “get you a man who knows good hygien and sports.”😭
Wait, I can't remember this. Send help. 🤯🤯
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Omg i love your new pfp it’s so nice and like I wanna squeeze it and shake it aggressively but /pos -🌺
UEEHEHEHEHEHHE THANK YOU!!!!! i love him
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Do it!
smooch him and hold his hands!
#took a break to answer this ask from 2021 ❀(*´◡`*)❀#I needed some self insert to recharge o(-(#sans x self insert#sans/yeo#myart#thank u anon for encouraging my delusions#ask#anon#comic#sans x reader
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ykno that tiktok trend of if guys think they could fly a plane
well, f1blr residents, i have a question for you
successful is in the points at MINIMUM
please if applicable give me your explanation in the tags
#f1#formula 1#f1 polls#tumblr polls#fandom polls#my answer is yes btw i have full confidence that i could do it#do i know how to drive manual?#no#do i think i’ve watched enough of OTHER PEOPLE driving a sim to make it happen?#yes#could actually?#absolutely not#but the delusion in my head makes me see it so
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Just imagining going to BK with Beelzebub.
You buy him a family bundle of double whoppers. While you're in line he grabs way too many ketchup packets. At the table, you steal several of his best-looking french fries. He doesn't mind and slides you an extra chicken nugget. You put the free paper crown on Beelzebub's head as he inhales one of the burgers in a single bite and call him "my little Burger King."
#i read “my little burger king” in a comic from tumblr user planefood and its been rent free in my head ever since#not much time to write until next con so i must make due with daydreams and delusions like this#one week until next con. i want to finally answer asks after that and then seriously start my next cosplay#obey me! swd#obey me#obey me!#obey me beelzebub#obey me beelzebub x mc#obey me headcanon#obey me scenarios#omswd#obey me hc#hey! i know this order isnt possible but neither is the entire concept of OM. this is fun fantasy land. anything is possible here.
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For the last 24 hrs I’ve been trying to find the real motel from that production assistant’s s4 bts pic…
#byler#stranger things#would you guys laugh if I said this is the most fun part of theorizing during hiatus to me#I feel like a private investigator#no leads yet#but I’m living my truth#the truth of delusion#what happens when I find the motel you ask?#probably nothing#but I’ll have my answer#and I’ll search through all the pictures on the website and imagine scenarios that could go down in a flashback#from from s4 but intended to be put in early s5#related to whatever happened during that two day time jump…#technically the drive from Nevada to Hawkins would have been about 26 hrs#I did the math#which means we’ve got about 22 hrs of missing time give or take…#the implications of a motel stop for one night to rest are high…#especially if they thought they won against vecna at the time after the monologue…..#👀👀👀#technically the monologue happened late at night?#so maybe that night they slept at a motel?#and then they left early the next morning?#drove all day and not and got back to Hawkins the following morning…?
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women <3333 i love women <333333 this is an utterly pointless ask i just needed to talk about how much i love women and your take on toriel! <3333333
woo women!!!! everyone clap for women <3
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I read Beowulf for a class and for some reason I cant stop thinking about Dragon!Bill, clever and ancient, guarding a hoard... bored to tears. Is Dipper a serf trying to steal gold to buy his own freedom? Or does his accidentally stumble in, trying to hide after being accused of witchcraft? Has he been sent as a sacrifice? Maybe he's also just really bored and wants to head Bill's fabled riddles.
Idk, the plot bunnies are all over the place, I just live here.
Dragon Bill is always a fun time! You know he's not only hoarding gold but secrets, as well as being A Total Beast of Mass Destruction and Devastating Nuisance in the surrounding area.
#answers#All the suggested scenarios are good but may I also suggest: Dragon Slayer Dipper#Who obviously fails in his quest but dang if it wasn't cute how he tried to poke Bill with that sword#In any dragon scenario I imagine once they get along Dipper tries to ride Bill. Not in that way. In the 'on his back' way#Only for Bill to argue that Dipper's not Dragon Riding; Bill is Human Wearing#Dip makes for a cute accessory! Like a shouty little necklace with delusions of grandeur
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i have a question. is it possible for a schizophrenic person to be fully aware that their delusions are delusions but completely unable to stop acting on them/treating them like they're real/ feeling like they're real?
Yes, this is called double book-keeping. If you search "double book-keeping in schizophrenia" online you will find articles about it. There's a really great essay on it by gert jenson, who is schizophrenic and writes about their experience with it. I can't link it here but if you Google "double book-keeping in schizophrenia gert jenson" it'll be the first thing that comes up.
#answered#dounle book-keepinng in schizophrenia#schizophrenia#mental illness#nd#neurodivergent#schizophrenic#psychosis#actuallyschizophrenic#mental health awareness#pseriouslypsychotic#delusions#delusion#delusional
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Delusions are strong with you. Alexi never delivers, so I’m not sure where the optimism is coming from
✨ delulu ✨ pls. k? thx! but okay. let's talk about it.
are we watching the same show? because … he has delivered? chenford was never supposed to happen, it wasn’t something they planned and i can’t believe i’m saying this, but alexi wasn’t actually wrong for the reasons he opposed it early in the series. it was far too complicated and completely went against the morals of both characters — it’s literally the same reason why them hooking up in 5x01 would have been a mistake. the reason that the slow burn worked so well is because both of them fell without even realizing it and once they were able to act on it, there were less challenges which made it easier to get them to a place where they could be canon. granted i know nothing about how a tv show is produced but i’m still willing to bet that for a ship to become canon, the showrunner would have to be on board with it?? which he ultimately was. there are years worth of interviews that show the progression of how his perception changed regarding chenford getting together.
also genuine question — what’s wrong with being optimistic? dude, this world’s shitty enough having a little bit of optimism over a fictional couple is literal bare bones. it costs nothing, it harms no one.
but to answer your question, the optimism comes from choosing to wait and see how a storyline that’s literally at it’s mid-point plays out; it’s trusting the cast and crew who have poured their heart and soul into this show and have way more to lose than i do; it’s having faith in these two characters and the foundation of their relationship (and i don't mean as a couple); and i guess it's just trying to push back on the pessimism because that's not getting anyone anywhere.
oh! and according to you, it’s apparently the delusions being strong with me too ♡ so idk, take your pick, i guess.
p.s. here's some unsolicited advice (but you came to my ask box 🤷) and i truly mean this in the nicest way: try to be a little bit more positive.
you attract the energy you put out into the world. unless there's one of us here who actually works on the show and wants to spill the tea, none of us know what's ahead. going at this already disappointed will only bring you more disappointment, you're setting yourself up for that one, bud.
p.s.s. if i'm wrong and you're right, i will 100% put on my clown nose and admit it but i really don't think i am.
#answered#anonymous#the rookie#chenford#you might be right on the delusion but not bc of the optimism#because i should be asleep and yet here i am responding to this 🙃
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Fairytale Chapter 2 - Poly! Kanej x fem! reader Series can we get a part three
I have been thinking of trying to go back to the series, so we'll see...
But hey, if you want a kaz brekker x inferi! Reader miniseries I've written all the parts already! I just have to post them, anyone interested?
#Delusion answers#Yes I am alive#Kanej#Fairytale#poly! kanej x reader#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker#inej ghafa x reader#inej ghafa#Delusion speaks#Ha
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For the souyo doodle requests, how about Yosuke getting ambushed by Yu's (and his, I guess lmao) herd of cats because he grabbed a bag from the kitchen that they thought was treats
i feel like souji would keep picking up cats by "accident" and promise yosuke that no, he really won't do anything but feed it until he finds it a new home and now yosuke is that stereotypical grumpy dad who pretends he didn't want any of them but secretly loves and spoils them
#p4#persona#souyo#my art#answered ask#sorry this took so long... my requests are always open i just don't know when i'll get the idea/energy to draw a certain request#speaking of getting ideas i got motivation to draw this bc i started rewatching vids from a youtuber couple i rly like#i'm about to speak my truth in these tags#it's the channel rachel and jun...#now i'm seeing their videos through souyo tinted glasses and let me tell you it is fueling my delusions immensely#quieter person who cooks and loves cats and is very very patient + their more outgoing redheaded SO#very cute and domestic vlogging channel... urgh my weakness
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and some doodles of the sisters as ponys, a few days ago i saw a fanart of Viva as a pony AND I LOVED IT, although i admit that i'm not good at drawing ponies, but baaahH i tried
#trolls band together#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls 3#mlp and trolls#ponysona#the scene would be something like this#Poppy is wearing her little dress which covers her wings#and when she sees the lively cape#Poppy asks her if she can use it for a moment to which she answers yes#Then Poppy takes out her wings to make her cape shine better AND Hurray#see that Poppy is a princess#That's when she reveals her horn hidden behind her hair#delusions at 4:13 am
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Ooh more about the subtext around James/Sirius? I’ve always read the text this way too!
thank you for the ask anon!
this question could have been prompted by any number of posts i’ve made, because i am a great proponent of the idea that unrequited prongsfoot is canon.
why?
i’m so glad you asked…
let’s begin with a small caveat which - regrettably - involves some engagement with discourse.
the things created within fan-fiction aren’t real - an individual fic can’t cause actual, material harm to a reader, even if it contains tropes that would be harmful or distressing if they happened in that reader’s real life; an author’s use of certain tropes or interest in certain characters is not indicative of their actual morals and values in real life; thought crimes are not real crimes - but fan-fiction is produced by human beings who are themselves products of the societies and communities in which we all live, and these societies and communities all have flaws and failings.
which is to say, those of us who prefer to read male friendships like james and sirius’ as romantic do need to be aware that, no matter how enlightened on gender and its foibles we think ourselves to be, we are nonetheless influenced as modern humans by a modern tendency to discourage platonic physical and emotional closeness between men, especially straight men, on the grounds that two men having this sort of relationship is inherently queer and, in being queer, implicitly sexual - another powerful societal influence on our thought, even if we know we don’t agree with it. we should also be aware that reading a friendship as defining and life-altering as james and sirius’ as romantic gives weight to a modern tendency to prioritise romantic love - and one of its expected outcomes, the love of parents for their biological children - over platonic love, and to regard people for whom romantic love is not a priority as not properly having achieved the milestones of adulthood, nor as properly fulfilled, adored, or satisfied.
everything which follows here, then, can be taken to refer just as validly to a purely platonic relationship between james and sirius if the reader prefers. and, indeed, my view is that this is how the canon narrative wants the reader to understand james saw the relationship.
but i also think that the canonical text wants us to infer that, for sirius, his relationship with james was one of unrequited romantic love.
it must be said, however, that the narrative doesn’t show this explicitly. of course, it emphasises sirius and james’ compatibility, their similar personalities, their shared affection for each other, and a certain element of codependency (the thought of these two boys unable to be apart even for a detention without talking through their mirrors! my heart breaks!), but it also sets up these shared elements as - in some senses - fraternal: sirius is quasi-adopted by the potters; harry thinks of him and james as like fred and george, at least until he sees snape’s memories in order of the phoenix. when sirius speaks to harry about james, the profundity of his love for him is obvious, and on the two occasions when we see them physically together (snape’s worst memory and the prince’s tale) it’s clear that each is the primary driving force behind the other’s decisions. but we have nothing which indicates unambiguously that sirius’ feelings for james were romantic.
until we dive into a bit of narratology. because the text does do something to suggest that its intention is for sirius’ relationship with james to be read as non-platonic, and that something is its use of narrative mirrors. the harry potter series loves assigning its characters to narrative pairs - harry and voldemort are the obvious one; ron and draco malfoy are the one which deserves more attention - and it assigns to sirius a narrative mirror whose own story is one of unrequited romantic love.
severus snape.
sirius and snape are incredibly similar, personality-wise. they also serve identical narrative roles, in that they function as the guides who lead harry through an emotional arc which begins in earnest in prisoner of azkaban and concludes in deathly hallows, in which he sheds his childish, black-and-white view of his parents and comes to regard them as real, flawed, and complex people. harry does this with james in order of the phoenix - after the realisation that he was a bully stops the hero-worshipping which has defined his earlier attitude towards his father - with sirius as his guide (sirius is then killed off the second this narrative sub-arc is complete). he then does it with lily - who spends the earlier books as secondary in importance to james in her son’s mind - in half-blood prince and deathly hallows, in which snape (via the proxies of slughorn, the discipline of potions, his textbook, his patronus, and his memories) serves as his guide, until the fact that lily is the key to the whole mystery is revealed just before harry sacrifices himself to save the world.
in the course of this, it comes to be revealed that each of them considers their life to be defined by their relationship with and love for one half of the pair of james and lily (although the series hides this in snape’s case - making it look as though he is also motivated purely by his antagonistic relationship with james - right up until the last moment). their mirrored relationships with harry - while the idea that sirius is incapable of distinguishing him from his father is an invention of the films - is also driven fundamentally by their relationship with one of the two halves of his parents.
sirius and snape’s mirrored motivation-by-love is shown most clearly in their identical approach to guilt and grief, the two things which overarchingly drive their individual character arcs across the seven-book canon (or three, if you’re sirius - rip king).
both sirius and snape indirectly trigger the death of the person they love - and, let’s be frank, if we’re going to excoriate snape for reporting the prophecy to voldemort, exactly the same level of ire needs to be reserved for sirius and his plan to switch secret keepers (what we could do instead, of course, is recognise the life-altering tragedy of making this kind of mistake, which we all have to hope we never experience ourselves, and treat the lads with compassion) - but it’s clear in canon that neither accepts the idea that their involvement was, in fact, indirect. sirius openly tells harry that he considers himself to have ‘as good as’ cast the killing curse on james and lily; snape rejects dumbledore’s (back-handed) comfort that james and lily’s deaths were caused by ‘putting their trust in the wrong person’ by wishing to die himself.
wracked by guilt and hollowed out by grief, both of them then decide to punish themselves in an effort - one which, i think, they both consider futile, since they clearly regard their sins as too great to be redeemed - to atone for causing james and lily’s deaths. both of them do this by subjecting themselves to the pain and humiliation of imprisonment.
in sirius’ case, obviously, this is literal. we know from canon that he refuses to profess his innocence at any point during his show trial - and why would he, when he considers himself to be guilty? - and that he remains in azkaban for twelve years, despite possessing the means to escape before then. he leaves the prison only to attempt the one action which he thinks will redeem him in james’ eyes: murdering peter pettigrew.
in snape’s case, the prison is a metaphor (foucault just sat up). snape entombs himself both at hogwarts - not a place he seems to have been particularly happy - and in spinner’s end, allows dumbledore to repeatedly humiliate him, and risks his life as a spy as a means of self-flagellation. like sirius, he fails to profess his innocence - through ordering dumbledore to tell nobody of his true allegiance - because he considers himself to be guilty. he leaves the self-constructed cell in which he is skulking only when dead - when harry, who has taken on the burden of fulfilling snape’s atonement himself by preparing to kill voldemort, starts screaming his true motivations in the dark lord’s face - although there is some implication in canon that dumbledore’s intention was for snape to end the series by attempting himself the one action which he thinks will redeem him in lily’s eyes: murdering voldemort.
[after all, why does dumbledore say to harry at king’s cross that his intention was for snape to control the elder wand if he wasn’t hoping he’d use it to give the dark lord his death blow?]
snape and sirius mirror each other exactly in their response to the death of the person they love. we can justifiably assume, then, that we are intended by the text to read that love as identical in type.
jkr has been very clear that snape’s relationship with lily is one of unrequited romantic love. we obviously don’t have to accept this in our own readings or in the way we write the characters in our own work - i love a queer snape sacrificing everything for his platonic best friend as much as the next girl - but we do have to acknowledge it as the doylist text’s stated intention. it stands to reason, then, that the text’s intention is for us to regard the mirror-image of snape’s love for lily - sirius’ love for james - as romantic as well.
or, unrequited prongsfoot is canon.
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"Could I have your hand, sir?" Max didn't move, which Dexter was, sadly, getting used to.
"Sir?" Max jerked, then turned and stared at him, lost and blank. "Your hand, please."
Max's hand lifted shakily, and he laid it gently in Dexter's upturned palm. Dexter gave a quick and quiet "thank you," then turned it over in his own hand, observing him closely.
Too closely - his knuckles were rough and his fingernails were dull and cracked in places. His once-soft, not-a-day-in-his-life-subjected-to-hard-labour hands were now, already, toughened and split and scarred in places, especially the heel of his palm. He turned it over again, this time to stop looking so intensely. He had only wanted to give it a cursory glance to begin with.
"Do you know what I see, sir?" he asked as conversationally as he could manage, running his fingers along Max's abused flesh. He seemed to be at least half paying attention, his eye gazing down between them, and he'd occasionally twitch, encouragingly Dexter thought. He seemed to want to curl around him, then stopped and shook, his hand squeezing into a fist. Dexter coaxed him back out, encouraged him to hold himself lightly.
"What do you see?" He was almost startled by Max actually continuing their conversation, that happened so rarely now, shaking and quiet as it was. He took a deep breath, was he really going to do this?
"I see a hand, with five fingers." Max remained quiet, though his brow curled, and a guarded look came into his eye, though he still wasn't looking at Dexter. He felt a pang of guilt, but he had to try. "What do you see?"
Max's eye unfocused and began to water. He looked up, but not enough to reach Dexter's gaze in return, instead staring through his chest, and he felt just as hollow and empty as he must look to him.
"Do you take me for a fool, DAX?" Quiet and as close to angry as he'd heard since they'd been here.
No, not angry.
Betrayed.
He swallowed down the stinging lump at the back of his throat. He had to put on a brave face, had to keep his composure if he wanted Max to get better. That was the only thing he wanted, more than anything.
"Of course not, sir. Genuinely, what do you see?"
Max pulled his hand away and turned his body, his bandaged side facing Dexter. Shutting him out, pointedly. Dexter's empty hand curled into a fist, he was no better.
"Please, don't..." Max took a shallow, shuddering breath, and several beats before he spoke again, even quieter. "Don't ridicule me." Dexter could hear his breath catch, and he wanted nothing more than for this all to just stop.
"Sir, I didn't-"
"I've had enough of that." He shook his head stiffly, the action strange and wrong, like he had forgotten how. He stilled, his head turned even further away. "More than enough."
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#And a drabble-fic under the cut#I ended up writing that the night after I read - I was a bit too inspired while busy so it's a little on the unfocused side haha#I would've cleaned it but I worry it wouldn't make it out of that stage! Please enjoy it for now <3#This set is mostly periphery ideas - inspired by events rather than directly shown ♪ I suppose the first two kinda count tho#But they're more directly of the little scene I wrote ouò Poor ZEX </3#And Dex! He's usually so capable! But he's stretching himself so thin ahh it's hard to watch in the best way#Of course he doesn't want to give ''Max'' over to just anyone - anyone at all really - both of their trusts have bottomed out#But how much could he reasonably care for him in that state? When he's still being actively haunted and most importantly - Not Max#He needs helps he needs support he needs to sleep and shower but a second with his eyes off Max and - then what? He'll immolate from fear#It's hard to imagine him crying but pushed to this extreme? To the thought of losing Max utterly and completely? Hhhhh#I do also just love him being possessive even outside of how terrible the situation is - he's always had his glimpses but this situation#Brings out the worst in him <3 In terrible ways#Really his method is just setting ''Max'' up nearby and prompting him over the sound of the shower like that's not nerve-wracking at all#Like he already doesn't answer half the time if that#As for the mini fic I was really interested in Dex's line about indulging ''Max's'' delusions#Apart from the fact that they're not delusions - not that anyone believes him outside of the Institute - what it means to indulge is weird#I saw one example of how to handle delusions that stuck with me - how not to deny them outright while also not reinforcing them#Since it's not actually helpful to be told ''That isn't Really happening to you'' when to you - to ZEX - it really is! How invalidating#And so rather to take the approach of ''I don't see/feel/hear what you are - I can't find any evidence of it myself'' and extrapolating#Dex taking the approach of ''What reality are you experiencing right now?'' and trying to build from there!#Unfortunately ZEX has already been treated like....well like all that - he's not in the mood for games even well-intentioned ones#He /knows/ he's in a human body. He can feel that and see that and understands that. It doesn't change who - what he /is/#The idea of a completely broken ZEX is so sad to me :( He's so strong and prideful and vivacious - Max really is another him </3#It's not the same but he was saved from death! To fall into torture... But even despite that I want to see him succeed! As much as he can#Even in that small and shaking way I want to see him be hateful and spiteful - angry. Powerful <3 Fighting ♥
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