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#choosing someone you fancy isnt enough too
roses-and-elixir · 2 years
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Being in love isn’t enough. You also need there to be respect, good communication and understanding.
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mcflymemes · 1 year
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QUOTES TO A LOVER, PART TWO *  slightly implied nsfw
my heart beats faster when you take my hand.
you are the only one that made me risk everything for a future worth having.
i fancy myself in love with you.
you know it's you i want.
i'm in my bed, you're in your bed. one of us is in the wrong place.
when i'm with you, the only place i want to be is closer.
maybe i'm too late to be your first, but right now, i'm preparing myself to be your last.
i shouldn't want you this bad.
this feels better than any dream.
bring me your pain, love.
i wanted your kiss to leave a mark. that's how i knew i loved you.
chemistry is you touching my mind and it setting my body on fire.
i fall for your smile every single time.
for thousands of nights i dreamed of making love to you.
you are the one i am lit for.
it's so beautiful when you smile.
i don't want to be one good memory.
i get excited when you describe exactly what you're going to do to me.
your body will haunt mine.
i have been waiting years for you.
i want to feel your skin. i want to breathe you in.
let go of your inhibitions.
i knew from the moment i saw you.
i will die with your kiss on my lips.
you look beautiful wearing my heart.
i crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
i always want more with you.
tell me you'll always be by my side, or on top of me, or under me.
i don't want comfortable. i want passion.
you burn me.
over everything, i choose you.
i want to be a body for you.
i yearn for you.
at least i'll die with love.
some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about.
no one compares to you.
i want it all tonight.
i want you to cut me, sharpen me.
when it comes to you, i don't like to share.
there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo.
i long to hold you in my arms.
the solar system and everything beyond it isnt nearly big enough to hold how deeply i love you.
it's not what you show; it's what you have in mind.
while i sleep, i dream of you.
please touch me.
i found you, and now everything is music.
the proof will be my body.
your kiss still floated on my lips.
i bet you know how to kiss.
i want to stop the time so that you're always mine.
i will not go another breath without you.
i want you in the worst way.
my passion for you is intoxicating.
i get carried away when i'm with you.
it took us so long...
i've come to care for you.
i was your exception.
you kissed me. i felt hot wax on my forehead.
i like you most with a smile and without clothes.
as if you were an archer with your swift hand at the bow, the arrows of delight shot through my body.
i will touch you with my mind.
you are enough to drive a saint to madness or a king to his knees.
i want someone who will kiss me like it's the only thing keeping me alive.
this feeling is too big for the universe.
that does something to me.
if i had a camera, i'd take a picture of you every single day.
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klngfili · 8 months
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How do you or would you headcannon Bilbo and Thorin accidentally proposing or getting engaged and how would they proceed when they find out or the other accepts the proposal? Do you think Fili would be helpful to the situation or just laugh about it?
okay okay okay so im really sorry for not answering your first message yet i havent forgotten it!!!i just cant choose an OC for it i just have way too many and that battle royale takes some time
I blacked out for half and hour and this is the result i guess (most of it under the cut cause its kinda long)
okay so accidentally im headcanoning theres some sort of betrothal braid for dwarves (which like yes it has been done to death but again accidental) and bilbo like just offers to braid thorins hair on like a lazy morning of very little to do in the shire, theyve been to the farmers market, thorin has done his social call at the bee keeper to check in on his bees (hes allergic so they cant have them in bag end so he has a bee sitter, but theyre still his bees and he is kinda obsessed w them, just as much as his veggie patch thank you very much, his zucchini won a prize recently actually)
so anyway thorin gets home (bilbo went home after the farmers market) maybe its starting to get a tad autumnal and they cozied up outside on the bench and bilbo offers to braid his hair because "oh look at that youve got a leave or two stuck in your hair, really early ones this year" so he untangles bits and strands of thorins hair and then decides why not braid it, it would look so nice braided he likes braids all the dwarves like braids in their hair, he's seen so many dwarves in his life and they all had braided hair and beard styles (more or less kili is an outlier and refuses to be counted) so he weaves his fingers through thorin's hair and voila would you look at that! he is actually kinda proud of himself
thorin only notices the braid and the specific style and nature of the braid once he wants to braid his hair for bed (for safekeeping so it doesnt get frizzled and tangled while he sleeps) and he pales and then blushes because what is this? and he tries to undo it but then - - - stops
he leaves it that way, he thinks it suits him and besides whos gonna notice anyway, it can be his secret for now. so he secures the braid
it isnt until after the harvest, and after thorin and bilbo started fretting about the weather further east, especially in the mountains, especially with them expecting company that has to cross those mountain passes that must be quite treacherous with the first snowfalls of the season, that thorin remembers the braid.
not that he ever forgot it, he makes sure its in tip top shape every morning afternoon and evening, bilbo has even commented on him becoming vain in his old age (not that Thorin is old) and everytime he does it fills him with so much warmth and giddiness that he just has to scoop up bilbo and smother him in kisses (which doesnt help with endless the teasing but thorin can tease back plenty) but he remember that even tho bilbo doesnt know what it means (or at least thorin thinks his lover doesnt, bilbo has after all never really done anything to show that he knows about dwarven customs like this one specific one) that they have enough visitors coming to fill every nook and cranny in bag end who do know the precise and very specific meaning of that braid. 
So he tries to explain, he tries his best, he doe his best to at least try and get bilbo to understand, to prepare him for the onslaught of stares and jests and rowdy comments, he cooks a fancy meal, a four course one that would make every hobbit housewife proud (and he did have some tips from his bee sitter mind you, where to forage the best mushrooms which butcher has the best mutton, the best herbal marinades, the hobbit essential to giving your special someone a special someone, she even wishes him the best of luck with his endeavor and squeezes a few extra bottles of honeyed ale into his hand and even sends her grandson?? Thorin isnt quite sure how this young hobbit is related to her but he is, he looks like he is to get some flowers, o thorin must be  a pitiful sight, he couldve gotten the flowers himself, he knows which ones are bilbos favourite wildflowers, the bouquet filled with some ears of barley some sunflowers and some umbels of elderflower for their sweet smell) but he accepts never the less and hurries on home, his arms overflowing with baskets and flowers and bags
His only silver lining is that the company isnt supposed to arrive until later this week, that he has a few days still, a few days to make this right, to explain things and learn more about hobbit customs, especially the ones that have to do with the whole spending the rest of thor life together part, right now that seems like the most important part, the part that makes his heart hammer wildly and makes the pieces all set in place, makes him see it all clearly.
The road leading up to bag end is already jammed with carts and ponies when he arrives, most of these dwarves he knows of course and most of them are on their way to the blue mountains and only staying long enough to unload their gifts and trunks and passengers right at bilbos door. He almost wants to drop everything hes carrying, all his treasures, and hurry up the rest of the road, the last few metres to bilbos door
Bilbo has to know 
he needs to know
He elbows his way through the gathering crowd, pushes past hobbits and dwarves aside alike not really caring if they moe out of the way in time or not, he wants to apologise but also this is not the time his mind is only focused on one thing and that is getting to that door and to bilbo before- 
“Uncle!” comes a unison shout followed by a stern “Well if that isnt my oakhead of a brother, hello dearest, oh whats this then?” 
and thorin almost trips over his own two feet.
“You two?? Engaged?? And not even a raven, my my what a great brother i have in you.”
Its bilbo that pipes in to save him “well… erm… we were going to wait until you all arrive, isnt that right, honey, thats why you bought all that food.”
“Thats not gonna feed us all after our long journey, but congrats I guess” Dis claps him on the shoulder and thorin feels his soul leaves his body, he can see mahal and mahal is facepalming and shaking his head in disappointment as if he just lost a bet with his wife.
When he comes back to himself, fili is the only other dwarf still standing outside the door of bag end, mouth agape, like he too just lost a bet.
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dballzposting · 1 year
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Who do you think Trunks would romance in Stardew valley idk why but I’m getting Alex or Abigail (Alex is most Goten like and I’m just getting Abigail vibes from him)
Interesting .. I am going to disclose my personal opinion now. Just going off of what I get from EOZ Trunks.
- Hands down his definitive marriage route would be to just wed whoever would give him the best benefits. Hes a #gamer and he wants the best and rarest items. I don't remember who that would be though, I think Krobus or Abigail or Sebastian? They're all so mysterious..
- Other than that, if he's romancing someone legitimately, it would have to be a bachelorette. He wouldn't even consider the bachelors as an option. EOZ Trunks exudes heterosexuality. (Bear with me.)
- But WHICH LADY, you may ask..? Well. Heres the thing. He THINKS he ought to marry a lady. And he KNOWS that it should be Abigail. Shes a mysterious abrasive purple-haired waifu who eats rocks. Everyone loves her. He has to marry her, yknow? And so he will. He's 18 and a gamer and he'll marry her becasue he should. BUT? Honestly? He doesnt like her. He doesnt like abrasive women. He doesnt really like to see it. A part of him recoils, maybe becasue it reminds him of his mother a bit. And he doesnt care that she eats rocks. He just isnt fascinated by that. He and Goten eat rocks all of the time. His aunt and uncle taught him that the trick to a good rock is that you have to boil it first. He doesnt think that eating rocks is that mysterious or interesting.
- Trunks playing Stardew Valley at his happiest and most content would be him Not Marrying Anyone. He doesnt care about romance. He just wants to fuck around and ball. He literally wants to play it in the most filthy-rich effective way, he wants to optimize every space, he wants to have 12 ostriches and 12 pigs and 24 dinosaurs and he wants to have a greenhouse full of sweet gem berries and Fern Island full of ancient fruit. He's filthy rich.
- Beyond that I think that Goten may point out "Woah dude Sebastian has a motorcycle hes just like you maybe you should be his BFF?!" and Trunks would feel a little hurt by that. Like, misunderstood. Like YEAH he has epic bikes that he tinkers with. But hes not the capsule corp kid that his mother was or that his sister is. Hes more than that. Hes an #epicgamer. He'd be a little hurt that Goten would shove him into that category so senselessly like that. Trunks hates Sebastian now. Fuck Sebastian. Sebastian sucks
- Similiarly he may feel tempted into romancing Maru because shes a girl and a scientist so they're suppsoed to go together. But that's exactly why he doesnt want to. He has the opposite of an Oedipus complex
- To Comment on the Alex thing: Omg well. Here's how I think that that would go. I think that Trunks would try to get full hearts with everyone to try to 100% the game in a way. And also as a way to procrastinate choosing a spouse that hes really not interested in. So what he does is he dates all of the dateable characters at the same time. If you know Stardew Valley then you may know that if you do that, it may trigger a cutscene where all the men or all the women figure out what you're doing. So to remedy that, he just never enters Emily + Haley's house or the Tavern ever, to avoid triggering those cutscenes and having everyone break up with him.
But during this little gambit he has to romance all the men too and it feels a bit odd to him but whatever he'll do it. He feels a bit repulsed at times but mostly hes an epic gamer and hes in control and after a bit he gets comfortable enough to actually think that it's funny. He fancies himself a player. Clicking all the right buttons.
What he keeps thinking is funny is the way that the male characters ACT - to him, he thinks that they're responding to the romance like women! They blush and act flattered. They get embarrased and flustered which he feels is more accurate but they also sometimes act like the women, the way that they're so sensitive. He of course thinks like this becasue he is a cityboy. Someone rural like Goten wouldn't see gender in that behavior, but humanity instead.
So Trunks is romancing all these dudes and he thinks it's funny and he arrives at Alex and hes like Yeah piece of cake. I know these types of dudes like the back of my hand. I went to school with this dude. I know him.
And he keeps thinking it's funny the way that he can just, like, click the right options, say the right things, gift the right gifts, and hes got him wrapped around his finger. All blushing. He's like "This is the funniest god damn game."
But you know when you play a video game for too long it starts to bleed into real life? And you start to forget the ramifications of real things, like all the world's a game?
In a manner detached from himself, like how one is detached from the interactions in a video game, he starts to see potential for romancing dudes in real life too. Becasue it is literally, LITERALLY, so easy. Hes a gamer. He can play.
It's just that he never EVER would have done that before but Stardew Valley has DESENSITIZED him to it. And it happens accidentally; he gets into the habit of saying saccharine, transparent things on the game, and so he starts to see opportunity to say them in real life too. And during his attempts with Alex, theres a point where what hes learned translates into real life, and he says something to Goten that he now feels is easy and simple and not at a cost to him to say; and not what he would necessarily admit to be the truth; and hes surprised, because while it was easy to say, Goten has a strong response to it. He blushes and is like "awww thanks buddy..!" and gets all bashful and flattered. That easy! Just like on Stardew Valley!
Man, Trunks didnt know that he could play men like that. He didnt know that it went both ways. And much like a cat who discovers that if it pushes things off of a table it gets a strong response from the world, Trunks keeps doing it. It works because Goten has never known Trunks to be this easygoing and forthright with positivity / affirmations / compliments.
And that's all fine, and life continues in a pleasant manner, until Trunks suddenly comes back into reality with the absolute shock that he and his buddy Goten have been WAY too tender lately. Like, Trunks suddenly feels like he's been, like, leading him on. And that's fucked up to him. So he has to go hide and languish in his ivory tower until it all blows over.
But Goten never thought anything of any of it. He just understand the situation to be newfound days of unbridled affection, which he appreciated, and which is fine and proper between two best bros. And then Trunks disappears for a while because he's "busy" or something and that is fine by Goten too.
I dont know where to go with this. But I like the idea that Trunks is just so tickled by how easy it was that he goes on ahead and marries Alex in stardew valley. And then henceforth hes a part of his daily routine, every morning he gives him a gift before going out to put more dinosaur eggs in the mayo machines. That's his husband. No Alex doesnt give him rare or cool items. Yes Trunks gives him whatever he wants. Why? Dunno. Hes filthy rich and has a husband he spoils. Just 'cause it was easy.
- You didnt ask but if Gotenks played Stardew Valley then he wouldnt be interested in the farming and he would just keep going in the mines and would probably rather be playing minecraft. But then he happens to see Sam on his skateboard and hes like WOOOAAAHHHHH YOU CAN DO THAT??! and he immediately finds and downloads a mod that changes the horse function into a skateboard and then he likes the game more after that. And though he says hes not interested in romance, he falls victim to Penny's sweet and nurturing charm and has to take her as his wife .. it wasnt up to him. His heart decided.
- Goten playing Stardew Valley would be him walking around in misfitted armour picking up foragables amd growing some crops amd petting chickens. And be would come to feel very sweetly about Maru and honestly would know since day one that it was meant to be. He shops around a bit and detours for a while but he comes back to her. He defintiely feels like she is more competent and knowledgeable than he is and that is why he likes her so ... For that is the pattern for everyone that Goten is closest to (Gohan & Videl, Trunks) so it's a situation that Goten is comfortable with + feels loved and secure in.
Thanks for reading. And to all a good night. ❤
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redllu · 2 years
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Obscure ADHD tips
as someone who is aggressively nuerodivergent, i’ve picked up a few tips over the years about different things that help me personally, and id like to share them! ill expand on this later but heres one important one that has really helped me: 
when study/focus time comes, put a hat on. it can be a beanie, a baseball cap, a helmet, whatever. just put a hat on. my logic when i first tried this was “thoughts flying away,,, need lid on brain” but in retrospect there are a whole bunch of other benefits to this method.
some good things ive noticed: 
my beanie comes over my ears and helps prevent sensory overload. my original thought with the hat idea was “thoughts flying away,,, need lid on brain,” and so i put a hat on. it kind of muffles sound just a little bit so im at that perfect stimulation equilibrium
for some reason, the hat actually felt like a lid on my brain?? i dont know what thats about but so long as its working i wont ask questions >:) 
i saw a video saying that dressing up like youre going to a fancy job everyday is a good way to get yourself into the focused mindset, but i tend to hyperfixate on makeup or choosing the best and most comfortable outfit and it takes too much time. instead, i opt for Hat. 
the way that the hat comes down kind of blocks just a VERY small portion of my peripheral vision (not too much where it makes me anxious and is super noticeable) and it helps me zone in on my work
for me it has a similar effect to a weighted blanket (though to a slightly lesser degree). the weight and slight pressure on my skull gets a 10/10. 
another thing i obsess over is my hair. i promise im not vain but bro when in having a bad hair day it throws my entire mood. yknow what solves that problem and saves me time trying to fix my hair? Hat. i just tuck it all up into the hat and boom! no more bad hair only hat. 
some bad things that ive noticed: 
some days the Hat just isnt comfortable. its itchy and the fabric feels wrong against my scalp and its not staying on right why is the hat touching my ears now my ears are itCHY AAAA, yknow? it can lead to overstimulation and overall just a Bad Time. sometimes ill be focused enough on my own, and then the sudden sensory overload from a Bad Hat experience and the fact that my method was disrupted throws me for a whole other loop! probably the biggest downside 
hat hair, which isnt honestly the biggest deal but if its something important to you, then consider something else!!! ill make another post about my favorite alternative (fingerless gloves) some other time 
dress codes. this isnt a problem that i personally experience because i have the liberty to work and study from home, but if you attend a public school or an office job where this is a factor, its definitely something to take into consideration
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spicy-tomato · 3 years
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Hello can you do a post about maybe Swaggersouls when he thinks that the reader is bored of him. When she actually was only with zuckles on some party and he thought he was with someone else because she didn't answer the phone. (the battery died) some angst please also have a nice day.
okay lets go boys! this isnt nsfw but its long so im gonna do a keep reading cut. mentions of drug use and alcohol so be warned
You and swagger had been together for about a year now and with his revent streaming schedule it was getting harder and harder to spend time with him. That doesnt mean you dont love him, you just wished he would spend some time with you instead of you falling asleep in an empty bed while he streams. A few days ago you had been invited to a party with mason, so you decided why not? Maybe itll cheer you up after months of going to sleep alone and waking up to a still cold bed. You kept trying to tell swagger but he would just brush you off, so you said fuck it and went.
Zuckles
You here yet cunt?
You sigh and text him back a quick yes before walking in and spotting him. It wasnt a huge party but there were a good few people there, most drinking or smoking on the porch as you smiles and made your way through the crowd.
“Took you long enough! I set up some shots for us” you smile as he passes you a shot glass and you down it quickly. He drags you to the kitchen and sets up more shots. You and him down them quickly before grabbing some beers and moving to the smoke circle, passing the bong in a circle until someone tapped out.
“Thanks for inviting me mase, this is a nice break from whats happening” you sigh and drink more of you beer, finishing it off before standing up. “Do you want anything? Im gonna go grab another beer.” mason shakes his head and you head back to the kitchen and grab a beer before stopping and looking at the table. You see a few bottles of fancy liquor and decide to get some of those instead. Grabbing a cup you mix three of the bottles and drink some. It burns your throat and you gag a little before walking back, determined to finish it and get fucked up. With half the cup down, mason takes it from you with a worried look. “I think youve had enough of that, youre definitely not driving hand me your keys.” you sigh and hand him your bag, dropping your phone in the process to see 15 missed calls from swagger.
“Oh shit” you pick up your phone and rush to the bathroom to call him back.
“Where the fuck are you i was so worried are you okay?” he answers the phone with an anxious tone.
“Like you fucking care, you always choose yours streams over me.” you slur, tears forming in your eyes. Its like i dont exist to you anymore! Im so sick of falling asleep in an empty bed, only having bear there to cuddle. I go to bring you lunch and you tell me to set it on the desk and leave! I feel more like a maid than a partner now!” at this point you were almost sobbing.
“Where are you, im coming to get you.” you sniffle at his answer.
“Im not telling you, i tried to tell you for the past two days but you kept blowing me off, why should you care now?” your face is red and puffy at this point, not sure if youre crying from sadness or anger at this point. “At least mase cares enough to ask how im doing! He took my keys so i cant drive like this!”
“Thats where you are, ill be there in 30 minutes to get you and we can talk about this.” he hangs up and you break down in complete sobs, mason now banging on the door to check on you.
“Let me in, whats wrong?” you shakily unlock the door and he swings it open, grabbing you and pulling you into his chest. You tell him everything, how you feel more like a maid than a partner, how you always wake up without him, how he blows you off or acts like you dont exist, everything. He sighs and holds you closer, petting your hair and trying to calm you down. A slamming door can be heard as swagger gets there, moving quickly to the bathroom and shooting mason a glance that says for him to get out. He quickly stands up and leaves before swagger shuts the door and sits next to you.
“Let me explain...i felt like you were getting sick of me and got scared. I thought if i distanced myself it would hurt less when you ended it. I feel like i havent been enough for you over the past year and i thought you figured that out, that you were going to leave me. I never wanted to hurt you like this i just figured it would be easier for me if i did that.” he sighs and moves a hand to your cheek.
“Why didnt you just talk to me? Why just up and ignore me? I felt like a ghost in our own home” you wipe your eyes and look at him sadly.
“I dont know, i was scared of facing you and hearing you say it to my face. Please, just let me take you home and make it up to you. Let me take care of you through your hangover and take you to breakfast. Let me win you over like the first time again.” you sniffle and smile at him.
“Fine, but i wont be easy to impress this time.” he chuckles and helps you stand up, one arm around your waist to keep you upright as he leads you to the car.
“Ill shoot mason a text and tell him to drop your stuff by the apartment tomorrow.” you nod and step into the car, moving to hold his hand. He quickly accepts and starts a drive home. You start to fall asleep on the way back and once home, he picks you up, carrying you to the bedroom and laying you down softly before crawling up next to you. He moves the covers over the both of you before pulling you to his chest and kissing your head.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” you mumble back half awake.
“Ill never hurt you again”
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simeonisalesbian · 3 years
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💳💥💳💥💳💥 my inner lesbian is kicking in full force because of your blog !! is it okay if i request how the sister's weddings would be? and if it's okay, maybe fem! simeon as well? have a good day/night 💞
*evil laughter* I shall feed all the wlws exactly what they want >:3 Mostly because it is also want I want lmao
Lucifer:
please pull her away from planning the wedding everyone and a while
She's treating it like she treats her paperwork and she's going to pass out from lack of sleep the day of at this rate
she lets you male most of the actual decisions and just does the grunt work of it honestly
She insists that she prefersit this way but she does light up a bit when you ask her to choose the music for the ceremony
She also insists on havinga wedding that doesn't use white as its primary color. She's pretty content with any other color as long as it isnt white
shes extremely stressed on the days leading up to the wedding and will snap at her sisters every chance she gets.
Sometimes its not even their fault she just needs a bit of a punching bag. They silently agreed to put up with it for now though
She plans to wear a suit to the wedding since she just doesn't vibe with the big loud fancy wedding dresses honestly
she looks so relaxed and happy staring at you with all the adoration in the world when the day finally comes
Mammon:
She's honestly so impulsive that if you let her she will just elope as soon as you say yes
If you do want a big ceremony thought let her know she won't mind either way
she promises to help you plan everything but please double check the price on everything she picks
she will bankrupt you both trying to make the biggest shiniest wedding imagable
just gently remind her that more expensive doesn't always mean better
she does does want the primary color to be gold but she'll happily change it if you don't like it
Hell she'll throw out all her ideas if you don't like them honestly
she plans on wearing a suit with all sorts of sparkles on it.
has a big sappy smile on her face the whole day. Though she doesn't cry a lil bit during the actual ceremony which she'll deny of course
Leviathan:
She doesn't want a big wedding. That's her biggest thing honestly. The last thing she wants is to have a panic attack on your wedding day
she did suggest one somewhere by the sea weather it be a beach or just a cliff by the water. She'll leave the specific location to you.
does bring up the concept of a cosplay wedding. Her sisters of course are against it though.
The compromise is a TSL themed wedding. Leviathan has enough knowledge of the series to make it as subtle or outright as you'd prefer of course
She honestly doesn't know wether to wear a suit or a dress. So she asks you which you plan to wear so she can pick the opposite
The day of its a battle to keep Levi from panicking and running off. She's just really concerned your gonna change your mind or end miserable or-
Her sisters are doing everything in their power to keep her grounded don't worry.
when she is finally at the alter with you she's switching between stating at you with the most lovestruck gaze and anxiously fidgeting
You were 100% certain she was going to pass out when you kissed but by some miracle she managed to hold it together
Satan:
she wants her wedding to be pretty traditional tbh.
It still takes so much planning though because your wedding will be Perfect.
she isn't going to settle for anything less.
Her sisters had to hold her back when the flowers the were delivered were wrong at first.
She did spend days debating whether to wear a suit or a dress. Eventually gave up and decided on one that's a mix of both.
Asmodeus does help with picking out the outfit though so don't worry about Satan’s lack of fashion sense
she is the only sister who actually followed the "don't see your SO the morning of your wedding" rule.
Just barely though. She'd stand in the doorway covering her eyes just so she could talk to you for a while
She's blushing with a soft smile the whole ceremony. She also tears up a bit but I wouldn't really call it crying
Asmodeus:
She's says she wants a big wedding. But she'll of course change that I'd you aren't comfortable with that
she wants lots of flowers. They're just so pretty and she wants this wedding to be the most beautiful wedding so lots of flowers
This being said it might work better to just have an out door wedding so the flowers get some fresh air and you aren’t stuck in a room filled with pollen
She's also a pain to deal with since her emotions are running all over the place.
one second she's yelling at someone because the table cloths are the wrong color and the next she's crying cus she's so excited to be married to you
The whole "don't see the bride's dress" thing goes out the window because she both wants to help you and wants you to help pick out her dress
like the wedding she wants the biggest dress imagable
that is until you joke you won't be able to reach her to give her a kiss if she has a dress that big and poofy
She'll still have a big dress just one that's much more reasonable now
she is going to have to be removed from you numerous times the day of because she just has to help with your hair and makeup
Her sisters are this close to just locking her in her room to get her ready honestly
she'll be glued to your side the entire day just so thrilled that you're finally married
Beelzebub:
She's stress eating enough to feed an entire country while planning stuff
Lucifer does have to chain up the fridge at somepoint just so they have enough food to last the week
She's also working out a bunch to try to burn off all the food she ate.
Just try to sit her down for a bit so she can help plan and not focus on her stomach
She doesn't know much about the actual theme and stuff since it honestly doesn't matter much to her
she's happy to go with what ever you pick. She trusts your judgment after all
she thrives in choosing the menu though
not only will you have the biggest and best cake but the rest of the food the will be the best thing that you've ever tasted
There is a secret second cake just incase the first cake isn't enough. It's always good to be prepared.
she's a bit anxious that her dress won't fit the day of because how how much she's been munching on stuff so she has a bigger back up suit just in case.
she does cry during the ceremony just cus she thinks you're so perfect and she will tell you as much.
Belphegor:
also asked if you just wanted to elope. It would have been a lot less work.
She honestly doesn't put in a lot of effort making choices for the wedding.
it's not from lack of trying though. All the choices and options and stressing her out a bit and it's too much
that and she just wants to be married already damn it
she does put in a few ideas though
for instance a night sky themed wedding. There could be both human world and Devildom constellation themed things.
she also teases her sisters with uninviting them anytime they annoy her.
She won't actually uninvite them she just likes seeing them all panicked
Insists you bring Beel for taste testing the food choices since her twin arguably has the best palate
She was apparently half asleep when picking out her dress because on the day of she immediately starts complaining that it's to heavy and that she can't even walk in it.
Luckily Levi could just remove a few layers of the underskirt making it quite a bit lighter.
she looks like she's about to fall asleep a few times throughout the day but she does manage to stay awake
though the dance was a close call since she just kinda leaned only you mumbling nonsense about how much she adored you like she was half asleep
+ Bonus Simeon:
She also plans on a pretty traditional wedding honestly
Though she is pretty open to change.
at first she wanted to have the wedding in a church or even the celestial realm
but she also wanted the others to be comfortable so opted to let you choose somewhere else
Luke and Barbatos make cupcakes to go along with the actual cake
also Luke is the flower girl it's not optional
She's pretty laid back the entire planning process and her stress only shows a little bit when things were a bit off during the rehearsals
you were almost certain she was going to smite Mammon for accidentally spilling her drink
she does follow all the traditional ways of "don't see the bride's dress" and "don't see them the morning of" though she does try to text you the whole morning up until the actual ceremony
she absolutely adores you and smiles at you the entire day.
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ratanslily · 3 years
Text
Irreplaceable
pairing: bryce lahela x f!mc (Dr. Theia Valentine)
genre: angst but with happy ending.
about the fic: im just giving bryce's premium scene some closure ♡
inspo: this post by @ofpixelsandscribbles
a/n: I've never written for my mc before oof i hope i did her justice!! honestly this fic was so rushed (like all my fics lmao, i write on impulse, not meticulous planning and its a self indulgent fics so i dont rlly expect people to read because i kinds wrote it for my own sanity)
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"We should do this much, much more often"
"Agreed."
Bryce looked around the on-call room. So much changed, the beds, the technology,  the lights... and maybe them. or maybe he was the one who changed.
Theia smiled and took his hand in his, beckoning him to accompany him back to the party. He slowly removed her hand away from his and took a step back. his face grew serious as he said,
"its.. probably not a good idea"
"why?"
"its just.. I don't know.. just go ahead, without me, I dont want to draw attention to us."
Theia could tell there was much more to Bryce's strange behaviour. Ever since they started their third year, she could see something was wrong with him, something was troubling him. but when they'd get intimate, all worries would go away and he'd get back to his normal self.
so what happened?
"so it's all a game to you, isn't it?"
"wh-what?"
"you don't need me.. you just want me to satisfy your needs"
"liste-"
"No, Dr. Lahela.  listen to me.", Theia raised her voice as her eyes started glistening with fresh tears.
"was it all a game to you? I thought we had something special.. something unique.. something homely.. when you dropped your fries just to kiss me..when you comforted within these same 4 walls, when we longed to feel each other when I was sick, when you walked me home after the funeral.. I guess I was a fool, I was just a distraction to you, wasn't it?"
she turned on her heels and made way to the door. Before her hands could even touch the handle, she felt Bryce's shaking hand on her shoulder.
"Theia.. please. please stay."
"what for?"
as much as she wanted to resist, she turned back to find Bryce on the verge of tears, with a face full of longing for her.
---
Bryce never hated anything more than the sight of Theia in pain. tonight, he made her cry.
He never meant to hurt her. but he always knew this day would come, especially since they started their third ywar of residency. He knew she and him would end up on different paths.
so why try? why grow close, just to fall apart? kiss, just to say goodbye? make memories, just to move on and forget them?
but he fell,  he fell hard for her. against his best wishes. he found himself caring more for her rather than himself. he found her tears as his own. maybe more painful than his own. when he found her alone on the floor, crying all by herself, he couldnt stop himself from comforting her, feeling the same hurt as she did. they grew closer faster than he imagined, but he loved every second of their relationship.
the day he saw Theia behind the glass walls, trying to reach for him, he aligned his hand on hers, with a glass wall between them. he needed her more than ever in that moment. that night, when he sat by her side, close but not close enough, he felt it.
he felt it surging thru his veins.
he felt love.
but he didnt admit it, for the fear of rejection.
he thought of himself as someone who was easily replaceable, someone who was just a second option to others, never the priority.
little did he know, all Theia wanted is, him by her side, no one else. She never thought of him as the second option, but as the only option.
---
Theia softened at the sight of him holding back his tears and silently cursed herself for being the reason behind his tears.
"im sorry for being so loud, but tell me one thing, Bryce. Do you even need me anymore?"
her words struck him right in the heart.
"if you dont have any answer, I'll go. I'll never bother you again.."
He looked right into her eyes, feeling more vulnerable than ever.
As the tears gently rolled down his cheek, he said,
"I need you, Theia. I need you by my side. I need you to be by my side at every moment of my day, not just at fancy rich parties, but by my side when i wake up to find you curled up in the sheets,  when I make coffee for us and you scoff at the amount of sugar i put in our latte, when there's something on my cheek during lunch and you offer to kiss it off. when i have trouble sleeping at nights and you offer to cuddle me until i feel safe. when i hate the movie you pick, and doze off with my head of your shoulder. I would always need you. But.. what if.. one day.. we don't need each other anymore?"
"what if one day.. say when you've completed your third year here and get a job in a place far away, away from me, away from us. what if there's no "us" anymore? what if you find someone better? what if one day, i end up badly heartbroken, if you ever do so? better keep my distance to lessen the pain, isnt it? Im replaceable, after all."
She couldn't believe the words he said, the feelings he was going through. She felt more horrible than ever for lashing out at him when he felt all of this.
She held his hand, and guided him to one of the beds.  they sat down together,  with her head on his shoulders. Tonight, roles were reversed, she was the one comforting him.
"I didn't know you felt all of this, and im sorry that I misjudged your behaviour."
she rubbed his arms, soothingly and continued,
"I dont know how to tell you this, but i can never go away from you, ever. for physically we may be apart but emotionally and mentally,  i find my home and my residence in your heart. I just-"
she took a deep breath.
"I just love you so much. I dont want you to drift apart from me. and from us. I maybe  a doctor and such sentimental stuff may sound crazy, coming outta my mouth but, I just want to make one thing clear."
she carefully removed her head from his shoulders and turned to look at him.
"Dr. Bryce Lahela, your name is engraved in my every heartbeat. Other people may try to change it, but I know they're gonna fail, as I don't love anyone else apart from you. Do i make this clear?"
Bryce's lips curled into his classic beautiful smile as he started to speak, but Theia cut him off.
"and you better not call yourself replaceable next time, or im gonna punch you so hard."
she playfully punched him, earning a hearty laugh from him.
"Now, now Valentine, would you give me the mic to talk?"
She nodded and he continued.
"I don't think I expected a love confession to be in the very room we hooked up, ans honestly its kind of iconic, though i expected a few roses and all that glam..."
".. but you're enough to make my heart leap with joy. No roses needed, no chocolates required."
he took a moment to choose his words,
"I may be good at giving prep talks and all that stuff, but wow, I suck at this. Its probably cause i never did this before.. so let me get to it.. I love you too, Theia."
Theia crashed her lips into his for a fulfilling kiss as they both shared tears of joy,  finally confessing their love after 2 years of pure longing and messing around.
"Whew, who thought these simple 4-5 words would be so hard to say?"
She simply nodded as she wrapped her hands around his for those precious moments of bliss and joy.
yes, the walls, the beds, the room and the infrastructure around them changed, but they were still the same 2 people as from before,  with the same love and feelings in their heart.
and no amount of change could ever change that.
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constablegoo · 3 years
Text
𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .
1. What does your muse smell like?
nothing. absolutely nothing at all. HOWEVER. if he’s in an environment for long enough, especially one with a lot of... scent in the air, maybe he absorbs a little of it. so: he probably smells faintly like Station Grime, but in comparison to the rest of the... “ambient station scent” (GJDFJ??) he’s pretty much indistinguishable. If he goes to some planet like, say one with a huge field of tulips, then he can smell faintly like a field of tulips. if he goes to one with a lot of pollution, he comes back to DS9 smelling like gasoline or whatever for a day or two. as a solid he probably just smells like whatever soap he uses (??) and otherwise like any other bajoran or cardassian? but he’s a little bit of a hypochondriac so probably he indulges in things like hand sanitizer or... cleaning products. as a changeling he has no sense of smell at all, so i reckon when he gains it as a solid its all a bit overwhelming at first for a while.
2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?
c-c-c-cold, or at least a notably cooler than you’d expect from a humanoid, or like someone with mildly bad circulation. he has no fingerprints. that’s a totally smooth-hand fella. if you hold his hand, you won’t feel individual bones, the whole hand is,,, consistent, though sometimes softer sometimes less. if you’re startled and squeeze his hand, you could crush all his little fingers into one mush if he’s not paying proper attention to them. no sweat, ever. i can never decide if he should have nails or not?? maybe it depends on the day and how busy he is.
3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?
nothing!!! can’t smell, can’t eat. maybe he survives off a nice tasty stream of background radiation or something, like some gooey filter feeder. but when hes a solid... simple things. for the first few weeks, it’s a mostly bland liquid diet (ironic). he’s obviously not in the habit of knowing when to eat, or what, and it’s... chaos. sometimes he gets really cranky because all he’s had that day is a bowl of bajoran cheerios and like 4 raktajinos. BUT once he gets it down, he settles on the same reliable things at the same reliable times every day, studies and plans out as perfectly balanced a diet as he can, and only deviates when purposefully exploring, motivated by someone else, or at an event. when he moves on to solid (haha) foods, he’ll eat all kinds of fruits and veggies and grains, the more plain, the better. he’s not strictly vegetarian considering the cultures around him, but i think when given a choice he avoids meat / animal products, partly because... he has BEEN some of those animals gjfdkg and also just personal preference. they can be awfully rich and i think for a long time anything rich beyond a small dose would make him queasy. he does not have a sweet tooth in any capacity... except in alcohol. bitter things are fine for him, because he is so bitter, but spice (like bajoran hasperat) he can’t tolerate very well. in all cases, texture is a major factor for him and it can totally keep him from eating a food he likes otherwise.
4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?
the fact that we kind of get to hear odo sing (quietly) in canon is ;-; so good. so yeah, i think he can sing in spite of having such a crunchy humanoid voice. certainly, he can match tone and pitch, and in many ways it makes sense - its just another form of imitation, and he’s plenty good at replicating the nuances of sarcasm and other vocalizations. bird noises, anyone?
5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?
hahahaha yes. he has a bad habit of snapping back with a rude comment (even when it isnt called for. he can be pretty defensive, too)  as a changeling, the easiest way to tell when hes unsettled or experiencing a strong emotion (including nerves!) is that he stops reacting entirely / goes blank or is otherwise unresponsive (shame...) or goes stiff. in these cases, he’s too busy experiencing whatever-it-is to manufacture a proper response (or he has no idea how to express it in humanoid terms) -- with the exception of actually losing physical cohesion... if he’s really really upset, he might literally start to melt :^) as a solid (and as a changeling when he frequently chooses to perform these responses) he’s prone to huffing and rolling his eyes (general impatience), THE ARM CROSSING he’s constantly crossing his arms, i mean Constantly, maybe its a comfort thing but its also a defensive thing and an intimidation thing and a in-control-of-the-conversation thing and a habit of his that will never die.
6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?
we all know odo is so sad and pathetic that as a solid he’d sleep in his uniform, but when he does start to wear other things he goes for muted, earthy colors (very bajoran of him), often dark, long-sleeved, very snugly bundled up, much as he’s used to being. i don’t think he’d ever go for anything flashy or fancy, even as a diplomat - he’s constantly going to be trying to get away from the way the founders painted themselves and plain and boring is his life’s design of choice. that said, i think he appreciates the intricacy of certain fabrics etc just like he’d appreciate any other detailed object or creature. and just as with food, texture is also of paramount importance. his other senses are comparable to a human’s -- but his sense of touch even as a solid is far more sensitive. as he gets older, odo continues to refine his face and appearance -- he changes a little every day, but it’s never with any particular destination in mind. in the end, he is genetically limited to stand out among other life forms, but also comes to appreciate the face he’s created for himself as his very own. he tries things like eyebrows (cursed) and defined bajoran nose ridges but by the time he does, they’re just not quite him.
7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?
yes and no... he won’t say it much, but he’ll show it in little ways -- looks and smiles (smiles are always something he performs with a purpose) and if its in any way loving, tiny, light little touches. touch is natural to changelings and the easiest way for him to communicate, even if there is no possibility for a link. but even if he’s generally subtle and subdued, the affection is big and very much fills up the entire goo.
8. What position does your muse sleep in?
he only sleeps as a solid... and god he probably sleeps like a vampire. at first the sensation of falling asleep and waking up is really alarming to him, but it becomes a comfort and one of his favorite things about being solid hgfjkdfhjg and he probably becomes good at it, once he gets a schedule down, looks forward to it at night. if he’s with someone else, he will want to snuggle like a starfish hugs a rock :(
9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?
not unless he’s talking, and even then he’s pretty low and soft-spoken until he’s annoyed. then you can Definitely hear him gfdhjk. but if he’s just passing through, he’s soft-footed and hardly makes a sound, often startling people on accident, even as a solid.
Tagged by:  @sampati  MUAH <3
Tagging:  @positronicminds / @distantsuns / @fasciinating / @thebrazenandbold / @asynjja / @sailorvinus / everybody do this thinnnng !​
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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years
Note
Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)
4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99
I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡
uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨
4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?
hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between
and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)
6 - do you keep plants?
honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )
7 - do you name your plants?
yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj
9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?
oh god oh dude you have n o idea
i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time
12 - whats your favourite planet?
oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)
19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?
okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it
22 - are you a morning person?
n o
i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful
but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am
23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?
except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest
28 - sunrise or sunset?
i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock
but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose
33 - whats your fave pastry?
and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj
either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding
34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
awwww this is cute
okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes
46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of
what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*
47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)
52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?
the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj
but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too
as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about
59 - whats your favourite myth?
i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks
but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example
60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius
some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it
63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?
okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again
66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?
either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition
or something purple (maybe not belladonna)
83 - whats some of your favourite album art?
god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that
“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too
also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say
and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)
87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):
- the princess bride
- inception
- night at the museum
- SPIRITED AWAY
- forrest gump
- truman show
- E.T. (i cried okay)
- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)
- parasite
and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good
93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?
honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short
also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form
99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them
this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:
- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)
- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)
- tears and rain by james blunt
- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
- almost home by mxmtoon
- anything by hozier really but shrike especially
- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)
- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)
- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers
- autoclave by the mountain goats
oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)
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searchingforbucky · 5 years
Text
FIC RECS (Part 6) :)
sorry if you got tagged in this again, I'm a dummy and deleted it on accident :( 
Request: Could you recommend me some biker!bucky fics? I’ve read all of @bucky-plums-barnes’ and I’m desperate for more
Alright guys, this is my favorite fic recommendation list I’ve done thus far. Lets buckle up for my absolute favorite AU. This one is LONG. But I just couldn’t stop I love this AU too much to not go on and on lol. These fics are amazing, I tried to keep it to one fic an author, but I stated if they had more! Also the descriptions may be a little smaller, because there were so many I didn’t want this to be way too long :) And shoutout to @bucky-plums-barnes for all of their amazing biker stuff too!
Swallow by @all1e23 
This fic here, is absolutely beautiful. The way Allie writes is so unique, and reading their work is always a wonderful experience. There is never an emotion that goes unfelt by the reader. This fic is a story that perfectly embodies the way love makes you act. Love isnt perfect, its heartbreak, and destruction, and pain, yet above all else its beautiful. Don’t go in expecting a fairy tail, go in expecting tangible realistic love between two broken people. Also, Allie has an amazing story called Home, that I also highly recommend.
New Girl by @omnomsauruswrites 
This was the first biker Bucky story I ever read, and I think thats why its one of my favorite AUs, because I got sun a good start with this fic. I love this story. We’ve got enemies to lovers, biker bucky, and a killer plot twist that I did NOT see coming. All in all it was such a lovely story. Its shorter chapters, but every word is purposeful to making you fall in love with both characters. In the end you get a happily ever after, and you couldn’t ask for more!
Howling’ For You by @invisibleanonymousmonsters
Ohh my love, my whole heart is in this fic. This is such an amazing story. I sometimes don’t love the good girl bad boy trope because its overdone and excessive, but THIS. This is so well done, is he protective? Yes. But does he also know she is perfectly capable of being an independent human? Yes! There were so many twists and turns and absolutely heartwarming love between the two characters. I also love how in character every person is. Amazingly well done, would read it every day if I could.
Wild Horses by @whitewolfbumble
Bad Boy exterior SOFT boy middle?? Yes! This fic is so adorable. It really shows the build of the relationship, and thats always my favorite part. It was such a true to life story in my opinion, the reader started of lost and finding her place in the world, then this lovely group of people just accepted her and helped her through her tough times. It was such a heartwarming read, with angst that just solidified the connection between the characters. And the friendship they all had was so refreshing compared to some stories where people are just rude for no reason. Its a short yet sweet read, and I 100% recommend it.
Long Way Round by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan
This was a hard one to choose, so many amazing biker stories they’ve written! But im a sucker for series’ and this series is so awesome. I LOVE Plus size reader stories, hell yeah representation! Now this story is a TRIP! Its like a really good episode of criminal minds. There are so many details jam packed into this that I couldn’t put my phone down! Shady gangs, corrupt leaders, and a smart as hell reader. This was just such a good read, not even for Bucky, but just for the incredible story telling. Sweet protective Bucky is always a plus though. Also, check out their other amazing stories like The Bounty, and Red Star Rebel, they’re just as amazing as this one!
A Real Sweet Guy by @mycupoffanfiction
I remember when I first read this it was only a oneshot and I was super sad, but then BOOM it turned into an adorable series. Its not done yet but its so good so far! Its the epitome of soft baby boy Bucky under a hard tough guy exterior. The way Ellie portrays relationships between characters is so cute, you feel the love between everyone whether that be platonic or romantic. Its through details that she sets up this lovely little universe that you just get sucked into, and honesty im fine staying there lol. I cant wait to read more of this one!
Rebel by @promarvelfangirl
Okay for this, just a warning, my device has a little trouble with the master list so it may be easier to use the desktop version :) Okay about the story, holy hell this one is cute. Bucky is HOPELESS, and just wants a date, Peter has the worst timing, and Steve just is along for the ride. I love mutual pining fics where one is completely oblivious to the other trying to ask them out, and the other is just trying their best lol. I felt like banging my head on the table very time Bucky got too nervous, but alas! It worked in the end, adorable little fic. They also have a cute set of biker Bucky stories called Fancy hair that I love so much.
Born To Run by @softbiker
Slow burn baby! This one is still in progress but hot damn is it good so far. I love this trope of the girl not really wanting anything to do with the guy but the guy and his friends being like well thats too dang bad! I love the idea that family isn’t what you’re born with, its who you love and who loves you. This fic is absolutely lovely so far, and though obviously I don’t know much about where its going to end up, where it is right now is good enough for me to put it on this list!
Notorious by @interestedbystanderwrites
I know I’ve been going on and on about how much I love Soft sweet Bucky. But I also LOVE badass tough guy who is very scary Bucky. And oh baby is this the perfect fic for that! Bucky is a felon, and a hot one at that. And what he sets his eyes on, he gets. That thing just so happens to be the all to trusting reader. This is such a thrilling fic. It reminds me of baby driver for some reason. I love seeing the cracks that show a bit of sweet Bucky. It leaves me waiting for more! He’s her addiction, she cant help but to stick around. Such a good fic, I cannot wait for more of it! 
Deny Me by @brooklynsboys 
This fic made my heart turn to mush. Its about an insecure reader, and a tough buck who has the softest heart ever but doesn’t know how to show it sometimes. My absolute favorite bucky is the bucky that only his girl gets to see, and this is the perfect representation of that. The way they write is spectacular. They get you to completely understand the feelings the character has without literally just writing it. You are right there in the world with them, feeling what they feel. And who doesn’t love a perfect happy ending?
Whatever it Takes by @sgtjbuccky 
Oh Buddy, lets talk about how much I LOVE this fic. Bucky is the biggest charming jerk there is, but you love to hate him. I was smiling the whole way through this read. Literally my face hurt by the end I was smiling so big! It was cute, and I felt every frustration, yet every single bit of the tension they had. The reader is a smart little cookie, and bucky is too cocky for his own good. If you want a cute extremely well written fic, this is the place to go!
Tender Surprises by @empyreanwritings 
Jesus, talk about tooth rotting tear jerking fluff. You know those videos where the child asks a pseudo-parent to adopt them? Yeah, thats this perfectly embodied in a fic. I cried, read it again, then cried some more. I love how it mixes tough biker Bucky with soft non-toxic masculinity father. We need more of that. It was so perfectly written, the flashbacks are perfectly placed, and give another layer of depth into this familial relationship they have. I love Dad!Bucky and Biker!Bucky, so to have them wrapped into on is perfect.
Softail by @nacho-bucky 
Theres something about the way Cait writes thats just poetic. She could write about my morning routine and it would be art. This fic is no exception. Its the cutest little thing, two people in a diner, brought together by chance and a little bit of courage. Its an adorable little story about trust, and taking a chance. Bucky is supportive and encouraging, reader is a little scared. But it all works out in the end, because everything is okay when you’re with the one you love. 10/10.
You Give Love, A Bad Name by @em-imagines
I love stories like these.  The cocky boy chasing the uninterested girl, yet there is obviously some tension there? Yeah, thats my cuppa tea right there. Also, its a high school AU! Love those. This story is definitely a mixed bag of feels. You get the super cute chase, but you also see a raw side of Bucky, and his unfortunate home life. As sad as it is, I think its a good representation of true life, where there is always something that you don’t know about someone. Theres vulnerability to this, and that makes it such a lovely story to read. Incredibly well done.
What’s On The Inside by @revengingbarnes
Is this technically a mechanic and not Biker AU? Yes. But he rides a motorcycle and its too good to not mention lol. This fic is ADORABLE. Mutual Pining! Shy flirting! Instant Connection! Bike Riding! Its incredibly well done too. Its just one of those feel good stories, it makes you smile, and want to get to know more about the characters. Soft Beefy bucky is my favorite boy, and this is SUCH a good representation of him. My heart was mush the whole way through. 10/10 would read again (for the 12739th time)
Broken by @allthebucky now on @poeticbarnes 
Forbidden lovers y’all, thats it. Like Romeo and Juliet except Bucky is a dummy who doesn’t know the right thing to do, and the reader just wanted truth. Its a short but sweet little fic, theres so much emotion packed into the story too! You feel the pain the reader and bucky hold at different times, but you also feel the longing as well. Its such a cute relationship they have, and I’m always a sucker for bucky putting the reader first!
Over The River and Through the Woods by @geminimoonbeamx
Sure its only September, but that doesn’t mean its not time for a killer Christmas Fic! Also another plus size reader hell yeah! I LOVE the domesticity from this! Its like Love Actually, a bunch of absolutely crazy people coming together, and the reader and Bucky are just trying to get out alive lol. It also really sweet in dressing what its like to be without those you love on holidays. A perfect balance of sweet and serious. Its so cute, and so funny. I have a non conventional family so I can relate to this so much.  The love between the two is so palpable and so heartwarming. 
Home Sweet Home by @sweet-barnes
Their name says it all. This story is just one big ball of sweet biker Bucky and his sleepy gal. I am always looking for those small tooth rotting fics just to boost my feelings for a day and oh man is this is. Bucky is the biggest cuddle bug in history and not even his scary biker persona can change my mind. This fic made me smile so hard, and then want to take a nice nap with the teddy bear Bucky Barnes himself.
Skin by @captain-ariel-barnes
Okay I love this one because I’ve not read another like it. I love how she portrays Bucky as having been in an accident and having memory problems because of it. Its so real and sad when you think about it because its entirely realistic and truthful to life. And boy is Bucky not just the sweetest thing ever. He wants to remember his girl no matter what, so he makes it permanent. Their relationship is so cute. I just love soft Bucky with my whole heart. Amazing story, so well done! 
The Mailbox by @kaunis-sielu
This one was one of the first one shots I read of biker bucky and I still love it so much! Bucky is such a softie, running into mailboxes fixing them, even having Steve paint it? Okay big bad biker guy, you sure are scary… Also, protective bucky yeah baby!! Hell do what he needs to to keep the reader safe, and oh baby if that isn’t like my favorite trope ever. Also the little sassy elements are hilarious. I also recommend their other biker fics such as Stitches, or Just Married. :)
Oh god. That was a long one. Would you believe me if I said I had to cut it from 37 to these 20 here? Hardest decision of my life lol. Thank you all so much for reading until the end. I hope you all love these fics as much as I do! :)
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thesunnyshow · 4 years
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Name: reya
Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni
Age: 19
Nationality: african-british
Languages: english, swahili, korean
Star Sign: libra
MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)
Favorite color: purple!
Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers
Favorite movie: princess and the frog
Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!
Favorite animal: elephants
Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice
Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though
Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author
If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do
If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!
If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.
Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses
If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover 
Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.
What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺
Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.
What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!
When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.
Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.
Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!
Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.
What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.
What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!
What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.
What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.
What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.
Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.
Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.
What do you think makes a good story?  a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.
What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.
Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics. 
What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em
How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.
What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.
Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.
Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.
Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.
Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!
Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!
What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽
Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid! 
Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.
Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!
Pick a quote to end your interview with:
she believed she could, so she did.
BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 
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Janus for the character list thingy
Favorite thing about thing about them:
His lying oddly enough. I used to be a compulsive liar and it was only a few years ago I really made the effort to stop. Lying is very much a defense mechanism and how Janus uses it is how I would use it a lot, to hide things so I or the people around me wouldn't get hurt.
Least favorite thing about them:
His manipulation. That's something I always tried not to do when I lied. It was for me to get in less trouble or to cover up for someone else. Not really to gain more than i already had, though i fo understand why he does it. I've been manipulated a few too many times to really enjoy that in a character.
Favorite line:
"Mental health should be regarded with the same life or death attitude as physical health." This is such an important and validating line and I will forever be thankful for Thomas and his writing team adding it in the script.
brOTP:
Janus and Remus. Just two guys being dudes being bros wreaking havoc and relaxing together; I imagine Janus has long gotten used to Rrmus picking off his own fingernails to paint them easier.
OTP:
I have so many ships how dare I be made to choose?? Honestly I'm caught between shipping him with either Patton, Logan or Roman as those are my favorite to read. My favorite to write is platonic otp Janus and Virgil.
nOTP:
I don't think I have any for Janus. Even with poly ships I dont have one I inherently dislike with him in it.
Random Headcannon:
Oh!!! I have one that I can't say because I'm using it for Missing but another I've always liked the idea of is him not necessarily being split down the middle with scales, but more being spattered with them naturally like freckles or moles or acne. So he'd have them dusting the top of his back, covering the tops of his arms. Theres be thicker and thinner ones, smaller paler ones and more bright and bigger ones. Maybe he'd have the odd one next to his bellybutton or on the side of his foot. Just naturally random.
Unpopular opinion:
Well after this last episode I dont think the notion that he isnt really a villain and will be proven to not only be "redeemable" but necessary is old news. I also dont think the opinion that he and Virgil wont be making up with eachother until after the next side is revealed is unpopular either, just bc I havent seen anything about that yet. I guess I dont have any for him!
Song I associate with them:
I had a songfic request with him that I just finished and now I associate Let Me Through by Cg5 with Janus. Also Secret by The Pierces.
Favorite picture of them:
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Look at his face as hes listening to Logan! That genuine smile/smirk! Dapper scaly man! Dorky danger noodle! Quirky nope rope! Smiley boople snoot! Fancy wiggle boy! Classy blep squiggle! Punny caution worm! (Can you tell he's my favorite?)
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thoughtfulpaperback · 4 years
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Charmed 2x12 Review SPOILERS!!!!!!
Okay let's do this. Sorry I skipped one but times are hectic. For entertainment I give it an 8/10. Same format. Dislikes, likes and highlights
Dislikes
1. Macy Kneeling to Abby.
Let's just get this one out the way. I can see where they might have been going with this.
They maybe are trying to move away from the ambiguous route with abby (trying to make her sympathetic with her whole patriarchy thing and her dead mom) I mean she is progressively becoming more predatory with Harry so with that in mind, this was possibly one of the "abby is really a bad person not a feminist as she is only out for her own gain and not the empowerment of all women". And I can get that maybe they were also trying to show "look Macy is willing to do the most degrading thing possible just for the chance at rebuilding that power of three/charmed bond with her sisters for the protection of the magical community".
But listen.....
We all know Abigael isnt a star feminist. We already know (although we dont exactly know) that she has some sort of plan up her sleeve to be weary of.
There has been too much attempted ambiguity and the main characters letting her get away with terrible things that the message isnt coming across.
Plus Maybe yes showing Macy being willing to do something that really probably hurt all of us (epecially those of us who are minorities) to watch, may have been to drive home the differences between her and Macy and play up Macy's love for her sisters
But like we know Macy and Abby arent similar (as much as you writers tried to play that up at first). And you know just adding more sister bonding moment and just the fact that Macy was willing to go to abby after all the previous stuff was enough to show she was desperate? Maybe just add more sister bonding moments so we can see how dedicated they are to each other?
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Maybe? Just saying.
If the writers are finally going to commit to Abby being a full on villian then I guess the seen was worth cementing that she is horrible (sort of).
Here's my question though as I consider whether the scene was worth it. Who is this show for and what is it trying to show? I mean if it is for minorities and women then i can see how showing these historical and current issues (conflict of power and consideration among women where race is concerned) then I guess showing it and having that controversy makes sense. But like we live it.
As minorities we already know. I know I struggle between wanting my experience shown and also wanting to watch something where for once the minority characters arent subjected to that experience. Charmed did better at addressing controversy and women's issues in season 1. I dont care if it was "obvious" or "heavy handed" because when it is not you basically get the kneeling scene where you dont know what the point was, if it was necessary, and are left feeling hurt or bitter about it.
2. Hacy Kiss.
Listen Brenda/on, this is on my like and dislike list. I will mention what I dislike about it.
The first thing is that it was a fantasy. I mean yes I like that we get full on confirmation that Macy has romantic feelings for Harry and not just considering that she might have them, but I honestly hate the fact that they would tease us like that. Especially when Macy is at a low moment. Which I will get into.
They are kinda ruining Macy for me. Listen, at this point they havent given us enough insight into Macys feelings or thoughts to understand why she isnt pursuing Harry. We can speculate and infer based on previous seasons and some of what the writers or showrunners say on twitter, but this season itself hasnt done much in showing Macy's thought process and so it falls flat. It isnt her reluctance to let people in or not wanting to get involved with someone after Galvin since she does pursue Julian and gets serious relatively quickly. She, at least now we it is confirmed, has those feelings for Harry, but is still choosing to be with someone else inspite of those feelings. I hate that. Harry is obviously tempted by abby and is being naive with her, but he isnt pursuing her and has blocked her advances (except the kiss) so far which may change who knows, but the point is if Macy was just casually dating and enjoying Julian's company I would be like okay, still hate that she would lead someone on when she has feeling for someone else, but if its casual there is less of a chance of the other person being hurt.
I cant get behind Julian x Macy, not because of Julian (who so far is perfect and probably going to be a villian or some how connected to the villians because it is a common trope) but because of Macy. Julian x Macy isnt Healthy because Macy knows she has feelings for someone else. She is using him. That isnt to say she doesnt genuinely like or care about him, but at the end of the day she is using him. Which is crappy because Julian so far seems like a great guy and doesnt deserve being the "distraction". I mentioned this all the time but my least favorite love triangles are the ones where one person is using the other.
Healthy would be Macy and Julian being friends while she works through her feelings and then decides who she wants to be with. Not being with someone while having feelings for someone else.
Macy was shown in season 1 to be rational and could be rational to the point of compartmentalizing and coming off as cold. So maybe that is where they are drawing from, but again little effort has been made on the part of the writers to show what's going on in her brain other than that fantasy kiss. And again I am still like....okay so what does that mean in the long run you butts!!!
3. Helen's suicude
I am so iffy about how shows portray people completing suicide. Like on one hand I get that them showing her exercising free will, but suicide portrayed as a positive rather than a tragedy is just....ugh for me. I still am not sure how I feel overall about it.
Lore wise I hate that they use it to explain why Harry and jimmy couldnt kill each other, because in an interview rupert claimed Harry was immortal now because of the elder thing and the show said it in that first episode. So like are both true? So if harry tries to stab himself like Helen will he just end up back in the coffin and alive since she is immortal?
I mean we are 12 episodes in and have about 10 to go so we really should be working towards a cohesive lore and storyline not adding confusing or not well explained layers. The world building they did in the first half was a lot better which makes me wonder what they heck is going on in the writing room.
Likes
1. Parkerita
Let me explain. While I fancy Jordan x Maggie together. I'd prefer that be a slow burn and steady friendship first. Parker seems to be Maggie's first love. It makes sense that she is still grieving and holding on. While I kind of wanted to be done with Parkerita in fairness to all the season 1 romances that where tossed out, I like the nod to Phole. I felt the OG Phole relationship was not healthy, but I liked the tradgedy of it. I think if new Charmed wants to wrestle with that and do it better (although my faith in the writers is low right now) then I wouldnt be against it. I love a good tradgedy and I sat through Phole so I'll sit through this one.
2.Hacy kiss
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I love that the writers finally did something to show us what is going on in Macys brain. I need more (not necessarily Harry fantasies but I wont complain if we get more of those). I do hope a real Hacy kiss is a bit different because one one hand the fact Macy wanted to kiss harry when she was feeling down says something to me about how she feels about him and that she still trusts him (but it could, If I wanted to be cynical, just be more evidence that Macy skews towards using people when she is repressing or feeling down although she didnt actually kiss him, if she had I think I would have not liked it in that particular moment given it would have felt more like using him that expressing feelings)
Highlights
1. Abby really thinks no means maybe 😒 . . .
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2. Mel is a lesbian magnet and I'd be fine with her just casually dating while all this other crap is going on as long as she is happy
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2. Helen
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3. These horror movie vibes though!!
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cainfm · 4 years
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『BILL SKARSGARD ❙ NONBINARY』 ⟿ looks like CAIN ROMANOV is here for THEIR SENIOR year as a LITERATURE student. THEY are 25 years old & known to be RIGHTEOUS, TRUE, EVASIVE & GUARDED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 21. EST. SHE/THEY.
hdsjnf hello all ... it is james again ... here with another ... replacing noelle with cain bt it’s fine im fine. i’ve hit muse limit u wn’t hear frm me again ... so hit tht like button .. this isnt the best intro ive done bt mostly bc im just kinda like ... taking an old one n rewriting it as i go
TW CULTS, HEROIN USE / ADDICTION, DRUG ADDICTION / USE, ABUSE, PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION, PTSD, ANXIETY, TRAUMA.
aesthetics.
dangling limbs from tree branches, yellowed book pages, opened bottles of vintage wine, oversized sweaters and deep under eyes, bleached denim, worn leather gloves, cat hair against black cloth, fields of wheat, broken windows, descending staircases, tight-lipped smiles during public appearances, golden skies, light spilling from windows, stumbling over one’s own words, wire-framed beds, linens, wool scarves, making the wrong decisions; running, from others and yourself.
basic info.
full name: cain alexei romanov
nickname(s): n/a
b.o.d. - feb 19th, pisces :) happy birthday!
label(s): the connard (previously), the escapist, the facade, the fallen, the lothario (previously), the pariah, the phoenix, the puppeteer (previously), the sybarite, etc.
height: 6′4″ ... bruv.
hometown: stratford, connecticut
sexuality: bisexual uwu?
pinterest
stats
inspired by: i feel like i did ... have an inspiration for him but i don’t ... remember ... so ur not getting this one ... i might edit this later if smth pops into my head but. alas.
biography.
born to connecticut senator vaughn romanov and well known philanthropist adelaide romanov, they were born into a life of privilege in a very prominent new england family. they’re the eldest of five in a very nuclear, picture perfect, preppy chic family.
was brought up to be a class a, outstanding, perfect citizen. golden child to the all american family (willfully ignoring the fact that his father came from russian immigrants). cain listened, obeyed, never strayed outside the lines.
it was always intended for cain to take on after their father, to follow in his footsteps and become a politician too. there were several expectations for them, including joining model un, debate, deca, splitting time between soccer, track, basketball, lacrosse, becoming class president, and all while maintaining a valedictorian - worthy gpa.
even volunteered on the weekends at homeless shelters and food banks, proving to everybody in their community just how much of a gem they were, darling, perfect member of society.
always eager as a child, eager for approval, eager to impress and wow and dazzle authorities and adults alike - cain never really had a problem with any of it? always attended church on sundays and sometimes even wednesdays. participated in family dinners and christmas photoshoots and new years eve parties, easter egg hunts and family reunions.
born and raised in stratford, super close to lovell to the point where it’d always been expected that the romanov children would simply just go to radcliffe, as did their parents. their home in stratford is a big, fancy, seven bedroom eight bath house with two fireplaces and an expansive dining room. no pool, but a sturdy treehouse made by scratch.
however. their model citizen persona was just that, a persona - a charade. in the community and to his family, cain was a hardworking citizen who upheld standards, a leader. to classmates and peers, from elementary to college - cain was the devil themself.
arrogant, harrowing, an outright bully who tore down others when they felt like it, often unprovoked. they were the senator’s son, and a rich one at that - rules never applying because they simply never existed for them, the upmost privilege because of who their family happened to be and their place in society. tattlers of their behavior faced far more consequence than cain ever did, or would.
the sort of person who’d genuinely look down at someone if they had less than them - a narcissistic dickhead who cared about two or three people, tops, outside of their family. was never physically violent, nor did they raise their voice, but that’s what made them all the worse. made them all the scarier. spewed classist bullshit with ease and was addicted to the power high it gave them.
their only redeeming quality was their protectiveness over their family - never the best person, but family is family, and they thought it ought’d to be protected.
went into political science and business to please their father, mainly, every step they made - every path cain went down, every choice from the electives they took in high school to the brand of shoes they wore, was to build them into the ideal presidential candidate.
probably joined a frat though cain never participated in parties too often, known for keeping their composure even when others resorted to violence, or got too drunk, or caused any public commotion, because they didn’t like to leave a bad image for the press. did their drugs in private but left nothing to the imagination, publicly.
but alas. during college, two very important series of events occurred.
seeking thrills, searching for fun in all the wrong places - cain became a middle-man between dealers and producers. never dealt it, and never produced it, but simply transported it between one another; the less everybody knew about each other the better. it was always a very hushed operation. one that they could’ve profited much off of, though money was never the motive for them.
and then he met earl and may meyers, fellow volunteers at a thanksgiving food drive; an older couple immediately drawn to cain, reasonable considering just who their father was, and cain to them. they can’t tell you what about the couple was so appealing - the air around them was something else entirely; some called it unhinged, others would call it comforting. but they were kind folks, down to earth - very religious, and very warmhearted. liked his name, a lot - like in the bible, they’d say, and laugh, and pat his arm. they would say, on occasion, that they reminded them of their late son.
it’d happened towards the end of their junior year, a few years after they’d gotten involved in the drug business - and the meyers were volunteering more and more, always at the same places as cain. the same times, too, as if they were learning his schedule. in retrospect - it was odd, but cain’d never suspected a thing. they kept talking, and it became a genuine friendship - a secured vote in the next election.
it only took a few months into this that they’d begun to talk about religion more. the sin of wealth, and god choosing only a select few when he cleanses the earth. only the worthiest souls. they’d eventually get into the rhythm of telling cain they were special - that they could see they’d be selected, see it in their aura, in their dreams, god sending them messages, etc. most would find it to be absolutely ... bonkers.
but it was oddly appealing to cain - like, maybe i am being constrained by capitalism. maybe i am disappointing god - aren’t i a devoted follower? it felt nearly ridiculous, but it seeped into their mind. psychological manipulation, lasting over months and cain unsuspecting. as if they could ever be the one manipulated. but the meyers could ask cain to jump, and they’d simply say - how high?
soon enough, earl and may told them that they were moving. that there’d been so many more like them and that it was time to join them, time to prepare - to get ready for the rapture. cain held off at first, finishing up their first term of their senior year and their life planned right before their eyes. everything they’d ever worked for. their loyal companions and close-knit family, their side-business that’d only gotten stronger - a long-term girlfriend and the engagement ring that burnt in their pocket, made their heart beat twice as fast at the very thought. still the same as before, cruel without a cause, but still surrounded by those who loved them - who could find something in them to love.
but a month into their senior year, cain had a sudden change of heart. they were ready, now, if not now then never later. all because of a third event. a surprise. a shock. a betrayal.
they had discovered that they were not their father’s child - not at all, not even by an inch. they were someone else’s, completely. their mother had broken down and cracked, after a particularly straining christmas party. the discussion was long, and the heartbreak only grew. the anger only grew. the hurt - it grew. more and more, with each pitiful sob their mother gave them. it was a mistake - a one night stand in a fit of petty anger in the very early stages of their marriage. and only cain knew - like they had to carry this weight, now, that they never asked to have.
it was the kind of information that broke a person. cain idolized their parents, done everything they’d ever asked - ever expected, and beyond, let them mold them like putty into whatever form they wanted. only to find out that in the end, it didn’t matter. it never mattered, if cain wasn’t the blood child of vaughn. if their mother - a woman who hadn’t a bad bone in her body, was nothing but a cheat and a liar.
cain unraveled.
they spent the first week getting into an altercation with near anybody who looked at them wrong. physical, usually - though arguments arose frequently as well. with no explanation, only thrown fists - often drunk, or high, or sober too - it never mattered. they spent a night in county jail, it’d gotten so bad. it seemed to have no end.
right until new years, just after midnight, when cain had disappeared without a word. it was treated like a missing persons case, though there was no evidence of foul play or kidnapping, and not much could be done about it.
BEGINNING OF CULT / DRUG / MOST OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS
the only people who knew of cain’s whereabouts were the meyers - because they had left together. a last minute decision that, if they had only waited a simple minute longer, would’ve never happened. a mistake they desperately wished they could take back. a mistake that led to another event - maybe the most important one of them all.
they’d gone only hours away from stratford, and lovell, the border between new york and connecticut and not as far as cain had initially thought, but deep, deep into the woods. that was where the cult’d been. they wore white linens and cotton, but never mixed. technology banned, prayers and daily chores. it was natural, at first. for the first three months, that was.
it could’ve been grand. it was peaceful, and mind-clearing, and they treated cain as if their birth was a sign from the angels. cain come to undo his past. a potential leader. but the longer they stayed, the more apparent it became that they weren’t all that the cult had wanted, so desperately, to believe. once they began to slip up, once members became displeased - that’s when the punishments began to occur.
sometimes once a week, but sometimes - and, later, much more so, multiple. the memories are suppressed, for the most part - but there are some things they simply can’t - the hands, they can’t forget. pulling, and tugging, and gripping - begging, asking him to repent, please, repent. their head held underwater, counting seconds until their vision’d eventually darken and go out, only to be pulled out gasping and sobbing. these memories stay - these memories repeat themselves, like a record stuck on repeat, days blurring into one another.
when they tried to fight back - they were subdued. heroin was the first step. little by little, everyday - enough to leave them in a high they wouldn’t remember; enough to burn a hole in their memory. and with these dimming memories, cain’d begin to sneak paper and pencil into their living arrangement, their room, writing everyday. wrote as much as they could remember from home - about their family, their life before it all - the people they loved. they couldn’t remember what they’d written, some days.
and when those notes were found, bound by thread taken from their own clothing to form a shabby book - that’d been the final straw. dragged, kicking and screaming - mind-numbingly high, into place. the twisted reenactment, retelling of cain’s demise. how exactly he’d gotten his scar. it would’ve been near perfect, if they had only stayed still and let them brand the mark into his forehead. but instead - they settled, eventually, for the chest. then - the left cain to die in the middle of the woods. in the middle of nowhere. no trails or campsites to follow, nothing at all. nothing but trees. nothing but his notes and the clothes on their back. they hadn’t even known what day it was - almost forgotten the year, too.
cain should’ve died there, but cain got up. and they ran. and ran. and ran. until they hit something, eventually. a road. it’d been pure luck that they’d found a car near immediately afterwards, whose driver wasn’t doubling as a murderer, who took them to the hospital - and who gave cain that chance to live. they were found on new years, a full cycle - a full year in the cult that’d changed their life.
END OF CULT / DRUG / MOST OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. STILL MENTIONS OF TRAUMA / MENTAL HEALTH / RECOVERY / ADDICTION BEYOND THIS POINT.
after being reunited with their family in the hospital - everything went by very fast. they couldn’t recognize their youngest sibling, but they also couldn’t remember why they’d left in the first place. couldn’t remember the name of their girlfriend, but the color of her hair and the way she smelled. they couldn’t give answers to their actions.
and after being put into therapy and recovery for their addiction - that’s when they find out that their father’s a presidential candidate, that they had been - that they used cain’s disappearance as a story for the press, one to garner votes. their return is national news, and their public opinion skyrockets. it’s supposed to be glorious, and a miracle, a blessing - but cain feels restrained. confined to the role they’d always been expected to play - expected to get up and continue with their life, as if nothing had happened. 
but nothing didn’t happen - everything happened, and cain’s different now, vastly so - no longer who they thought they were. they change their major to literature, abandon politics. they get some cats, start working at the library, and they put on some leather gloves - their method of staying away, of keeping a comfortable distance. they are different, now, and simply only wish to focus on their recovery.
personality.
they’re no longer who they once were. a year of trauma does things to a person - and with memory loss that weighs heavy on their mind, they are near completely different. they remember parts of their old personality, their old lifestyle - enough to know they want to be better. they’re convinced that it’s karma, what happened to them. for being who they were - acting the way they did. just ... a bunch of self-blame.
even with the massive ego, cain’s always been a quiet person. but now - now cain’s even quieter. kinder, if not a little sarcastic, like a relic from the past. they’re distant - but it’s one of fear, restrictive and tense - not one made out of their own comfort. 
smokes medical marijuana but rarely drinks ... as if that’d make a difference. in an effort to beat their heroin addiction, they’ve turned to prescriptions instead.
like i mentioned ... cain has four cats. it’s basically their entire personality. two of them were from before their disappearance, but two are new to their little (school-approved) family. there is: frank (big chungus when yelled. white and gray), brock (orange. fluffy. stoic. devours food), shoelace (black furred, missing an eye and half an ear), and crunchwrap supreme (crunch for short. calico with bent ears). yes, they have photos of their cats in their wallet.
cain’s memory is fucked - like, really fucked. they forget a lot of things. short term, long term. it’s a constant struggle. they managed to keep their notes from the cult, so those help - but not always. they forget dates and names and faces and events. sometimes they wake up and don’t know where they are. they don’t sleep often, anyways. with the trauma came night terrors, and in an attempt to avoid them they don’t ... sleep often. only a few hours a night if they can withstand it, because it’s frankly terrible.
they suffer from severe touch aversion. skin contact with anybody, of any sort, is enough to send cain into a full-blown panic attack. they were leather gloves more often than not in an attempt to combat this disadvantage, without hindering their dexterity too much. even with clothes, they’re not the biggest fan of physical contact. it won’t send him into a panic attack, but they visibly flinch away. they’re very clear from the get-go, if someone is too close to them, that they don’t like physical contact.
dealing with ptsd and attends therapy every week. their therapist recommended that they keep writing their notes, after reviewing them himself, so cain does. they keep an entire journal where they write, and sketch a little, because it helps them cope and de-stress. it means a lot to them, actually.
also dealing with ptsd and attends therapy every week - therapist recommended he kept writing after looking at his notes - so he does, keeps an entire journal where they write and like … sketch a little, because it helps them cope. means more to them than it would seem. but, unfortunately, part of their coping involves getting far too involved in their own mini-investigation of the cult they’d been part of. when the cult was tracked back to where cain’d been brought, they were already gone - and cain wants to know where. wants to know how to find them. wants justice, vengeance. wants nobody else to get hurt from them.
pretty blunt ... won’t go out of their way to announce that hey, they were part of a cult, and that’s why they’re gone and that’s why that’s the way they are now - but they also won’t lie about it, if the topic comes up in conversation. they don’t like delusions, don’t like secrets, nor do they like unnecessary attention.
being at radcliffe makes cain anxious because - well, they’re surrounded by people they’ve been doing wrong by for years now and they can’t even remember which ones. who, what, when, why - distant memories, if they’re even there at all. is constantly trying to figure out how to redeem themselves. they’d leave, if it hadn’t been their parents’ assistance that they stay there. so that someone always has an eye on them. 
but like ...they screwed over a lot of people when they left. from plugs / customers to their ex-girlfriend, who they are, undeniably, still in love with (you can’t forget that feeling) - to their friends. like. everybody, pretty much KBJNSDFKSNLD
is often pretty high ... i’d say it’s just the medical weed but. alas :/ take a guess :/
hates cars & swimming & crowds. hates feeling trapped and will avoid it whenever possible. doesn’t want to be seen as unsociable, but it’s difficult. 
they ... have a tendency to run away when they’re overwhelmed. likes to climb trees because they’re tall enough to. there’s a tree outside of their window that they climb out to frequently, even though it’s like a ~safety hazard~ or whatever. just really likes to hide out. 
used to be in perkins when they last attended radcliffe, but they gave their spot to someone else and that was like - 100% fine w/ cain tbh. lives alone in moris now.
feels the need to redeem themself ... to like, everybody. like, they want to avoid conflict and be a better person, but it’s hard, and they don’t necessarily like confrontation either - and not everybody believes that cain’s changed. it wouldn’t be surprising if people were suspicious of cain, for whatever reason, because they don’t ... really have the best track record anymore.
developed a stutter as one of the results from their trauma. their voice is damaged from screaming and they’re self-conscious about it, but they’re working on it because there’s more important things to worry about. in general, cain looks ... gaunt, too thin, and generally sickly.
repeating senior year ... fr obvious reasons ... and probably won’t graduate anytime soon because they’ve changed their major so late.
can still hold a conversation & they’re not really afraid of socialization. it just takes a toll on them. they’re pretty lowkey, as a person. soft, sorta. quiet but they won’t be an asshole (on purpose). they like people! just. very low energy.
so like ... tldr ... not an asshole anymore ... dealing with a lot of trauma ... trying to be a good person ... yes ...
wanted connections.
locals... people they’ve grown up with their entire life. people they’ve wronged, people who idolized him, envied him, despised him, etc. 
enemies... would love for a bunch of these just. a hoard of people who fucking hate cain. because it fits the bill. they could’ve bullied them, or wronged them, whatever. anything works. let’s make it happen.
exes... that they’ve dumped... old hookups, ex-friends, people they got into an argument with or fought before they disappeared last year...
ex girlfriend... that connection wld b rly neat!! i have it up as a wc rn but we can take that down ... will be holding intense american idol - esque auditions. remember that cain ws a fckn classist pig and probably only dated people who were also rich with influential families. (unless u present a very good case to me ... then maybe ... perhaps ...)
family friends... family rivals... people he knows mostly thru their family.
redeemable... people they’re trying to redeem themself to... trying to prove their worth, and that they’re a better person now, etc. etc.
old clients... :) angry clients. that they left in the dust.
perkins... people he knew from perkins ... old pals or maybe enemies idk he was pretty insufferable ... people he used to go to fancy parties with sometimes ...
angery... people so so so so fucking pissed at cain, for whatever reason.
reconciliation... reconnecting... used to be friends and we can be friends again :) and i will be better this time! i’m a slut for slowburns, especially slowburn friendships ... enemies to friends ... now THAT is sexy.
victims... of bullying ... :/ of their bullying specifically.
sof...t... wholesome content ... nothing but soft, understanding friendships ... or developing friendships ... make them feel welcomed again... forgive them...
an..g.st... friends to enemies. enemies to bigger enemies. miscommunication. betrayal. whatever u want.
no hookups!!! ... please only previous encounters. nothing in the present. because it just wldn’t make sense.
unless... eyes emoji. H DSJLFJKS just kidding! i’d accept MAYBE some kind of sexual tension but like ... the sort that hurts, because it just Cannot Happen (i will not let it happen). or maybe a fun, casual sexting thing but like. nothing physical. pleasthe.
fuck politics!... mayhaps, they hate mr. romanov and his politics or smth. he’s probably corrupt in some way, so! go at it!
aggression... i feel like a lot of the conversations between cain n other ppl start out rly ... angry bc theyre Mad. at them.
ok it’s bed time please plot with me. 
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minecraftoworymode · 4 years
Text
picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies the other day reading some Very badfeel content so to cheer myself up here’s some super self-indulgent ramblings about romeo recovery post-s2
“YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY BEHIND” or how romeo learned to stop worrying and indulge in the ““feminine”“ shit in life
when romeo transitioned he scrubbed everything that could be potentially viewed as feminine from his appearance and behaviour. while he did everything he could about the former (hairstyle, clothing, body language, voice), it didn’t feel like enough bc he couldn’t change some things that ppl used to be jerks- his frame (short and lithe), his family, his being trans- so he made up for it by trying to “act” like a “real man”. this unfortunately meant he was super vulnerable to manipulative alt-right indoctrination tactics (”we will validate you as a man as long as you endorse our assholery and share our shitty beliefs about what it means to be a man”) and he was on the verge of getting sucked into gamergate ideology when [THIS LORE IS ANOTHER POST] and hey, now the world is minecraft. u dont gotta perform gender roles for villagers they dont care. xara will not only actually eat ur liver for pulling The Bullshit but when you are kind she smiles, so bright and warm, and it is very very nice so maybe you should keep on doing that. n fred? fred is chill with their Everything in a way uve only ever Dreamed of. romeo marinates in this sauce for a couple centuries and comes the closest to being comfortable in his own skin he’s ever been.
however,
after the Incident he slam-dunked himself back into the hypermasculinity juice bc it was a mindset “safe” from feeling pain, whether his or others’. n since the worlds the admins created dont have the same ideas of gender as the world they came from, once he’s been dethroned romeo has a particularly hard time adjusting wrt That on top of all the other 2750347502730 issues he has to face
anyway flash forward a couple months of being incredibly volatile bc he now has to confront all the terrible things he did and how Dare u make him do that and maybe if hes nasty enough he can provoke someone into killing him and saving him from having to unpack All Of That- (note from @simple-mooshroom-herder​: Xara and Jesse at least grasp that Romeo will probably burn himself out on this bullshit eventually and the best thing to do is interact with him with a certain level of healthy detachment. Eventually he'll see that theres no "getting out of this" and he'll start to do the Work but until then its very frustrating to see that tactic take him nowhere.)
- one day petra notices how he’s constantly staring at all the ppl wearing cute dresses in beacontown and at first she thinks he's being creepy but then realizes that he's not being creepy and actually she knows exactly how he feels bc she also used to look at ppl wearing clothes super not suited for combat like that, like she wished she could wear them too, like if she just didnt have to keep up this image of the Warrior who is Not Soft Ever-
n ok. listen. these worlds have been specifically engineered to be better and kinder than the one the admins came from, and when people mess up- even REALLY mess up- people are generally not only willing to forgive you but support you as you try and get better. it’s instinctual for communities to respond to misdeeds with rehabilitation and reconciliation, rather than retaliation and renunciation (tho its not an overnight thing and it generally takes 1-3 people to spearhead the process, esp if the actions have affected a large group of people). like. ivor created something that almost destroyed the entire world, not just beacontown, yet by the end of season one he’s grown to be a part of the team- n its not just jesse & co being forgiving here, bc when ivor made his s1 build with 3 lava source blocks people objected to it, but by s2 he not only has lava in his build but a giant lake of it. (im assuming the fences around said lake are coming eventually, bc safety is still important, but the implications im choosing to take from this are a) despite almost ending the world people let him into their lives anyway and b) the community not only grew to accept but encourage his self-expression.)
BUT ANYWAY before i go off on that even more one day petra and romeo basically put on an impromptu fashion show in jesse’s house (bc their house is huge and, kind of perfect for a fashion show, and also right next to the order hall’s armory whence they stole a bunch of fancy swords to match the outfits) n theyre having a blast until the hero in residence , returns to their residence (and with COMPANY) n romeo is absolutely Mortified- caught red-handed showing feelings of an almost human nature, oh my god, this will NOT do- n this whole grand soliluquy of shame and excuses and apologies grabs the steering wheel of his tongue but he cant even spit a single syllable out bc jesse and lukas almost immediately dip leaving romeo panicking for a second before they come back with their inventories FULL of cute outfits, including a billion skirts and dresses, some of them are even enchanted so theyre like. super shiny or constantly flowing or things like that.
this actually ends up spiralling into a town-wide... not quite fashion show bc there's no runway or anything, everyone just shows up in their cutest/coolest outfits .. fashion convention?? Anyway several people come up to him and compliment him on his outfit casually before continuing along, not recognizing him not only bc of how hes done his hair and makeup n what hes wearing but he just seems... so happy (he might be wearing something on his head? like a headpiece or hat or something? but also maybe not hmm)- whoever this is, he's not hunched over like he's got several centuries' worth of sins crawling on his back he’s not trying to shrink and make small a human-shaped apology for the simple fact of his existence not dragging his feet like hes ready for, dreading, a hundred mile trek through the desert repenting hes just. hes literally just Vibing
anyway he's mostly been silent or just providing very quiet "thank you"s but when it turns out that some people showed up ready to play music and there's a song that he knows he literally cant help but start jamming out its the GOod Stim everyones a-dancing and a-jiving and some people start to sing and so of course he does too (the healing power of dancing and singing in cute outfits.... unfathomable) but. ppl recognize his voice
and after a few seconds he notices how quiet it's gotten all of a sudden n everyones looking at him like "oh shit thats the admin" and honestly his heart breaks. visibly
but
then someone starts singing, so quiet it takes a moment for him to hear over the sound of an encroaching panic attack (oh god he has airpods in), but when he looks over theyre smiling - theyre smiling at hiM???? AND IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK MEAN??- and doing this very simple step, that he catches onto just as easily as he matches their singing (its a fairly common little tune n dance)
theyre like standing like a good few meters away but as they take turns with lines in the song they slowly inch closer
and he thinks hes starting to recognize the dance that the steps theyre doing is from but at the part in the song thats coming up ur supposed to allemande left and even tho theyre like, less than a meter away now literally no one has really wanted to get close to him, let alone actually touch him, so hes totally expecting them to be like 'psych' and humiliate him in front of the entire crowd-
BUT THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO FOR IT???
he completes the step without even thinking about it n continues onto the next in this state of dull bewilderment where there is but one braincell active in his head and it is just going, in a very tiny voice, "danser?"
- when they linked arms the person briefly seemed surprised that he didn't like, chew their arm off or anything (he had. kind of snapped at people a few times during the past few weeks), but then their shock turned into a wide smile and they sort of- nodded? at someone over his shoulder like 'come and join us, it doesn't look like he's going to kill me after all you guys can put the eulogy writing on hold'
what rly makes his heart do the confused and hopeful conga is that this isnt even anyone romeo knows, its a total stranger. or- like- he saw them while he was pretending to be jesse he just didnt care to get to know them beyond ‘name and gimmick’- its not even someone who has any reason to think he'd be cool to befriend its literally jsut someone taking a chance on him (tkae a chance take a chance take a chance take a cha)
afterwards hes like "i should thank jesse for putting you up to that, it was fun" and theyre like "what? jesse didn't "put me up to" anything, dude, you just looked super choked. * something something surfer lingo who would i be if i just left someone to feel bad when they could be having fun dancing you know?*"
he H
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