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saneabandoned · 11 days

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Diving into Star Wars: The Clone Wars

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

This seems to encapsulate the whole seven seasons of the series Star Wars: The Clone Wars. If you haven’t seen it, haven’t heard of it – in short, it’s an animated series set between Episode II and III of the prequel saga. However, the aim of this is not to be a guide – you can go to Wookiepedia for that; this is supposed to be an essay – analysis, some kind of a deeper-ish dive into the philosophy and meaning of the series, that frankly is one of the best things to happen to this film universe, perhaps ever. I have, time and again, tried to explain for myself the meaning it carries and just why it has me in such a strong chokehold, but I have failed, or at least haven’t reached a conclusion. Maybe it’s not possible, maybe it’s just the magic of being a fan – you see and feel things not everyone would understand, because it speaks to you on some personal level, that even some (more chill than me, at least) fans won’t be able to entirely relate to. I have yet to meet a person as obsessive as I am over all kinds of different media – don’t get me wrong, even though Star Wars is without a doubt my favourite universe, there are many more I have indulged in, wrote about, watched, listened, theorized and all that good stuff throughout many years. But as I have recently come to realize, I have spent the last ten-ish years of my (not that long, to be fair) conscious life thinking about this universe, this whole galaxy (pun absolutely intended) of characters, morals, and plots.

Speaking about morals, that’s where some of the importance of The Clone Wars comes for me personally. Ever since I can remember, Star Wars has been a huge deal in my life – I watched the movies at a very young age (thanks, mom!), but started reading more and more into the whole world as I got older. I thought I’d reached the peak somewhere in high school when I would literally rewatch the prequels every single weekend, and the OG movies about once a month too. I just found it mesmerising, I always have – being a person with a huge imagination, that never quite stops working (and that’s caused me some trouble as well), I found a haven in this world, a place where nothing is too weird, everything is just so brilliantly imagined and thought of, written and painted so vividly, that it feels like someone has taken the insides of my brain, turned them into a whole painting, adding stories, characters and just overall putting into words and pictures the things that I can’t really understand and explain for myself. I found a mirror in this world, a sanctuary for all my thoughts. I used to listen to the soundtracks whenever I felt anxious, and it would transport me directly into the universe I felt so safe in. It was an escape from reality; still is – not that reality was or is particularly scary or unbearable for me; but sometimes I wish I was elsewhere; somewhere where there is courage, bravery, adventure, love, all the things I longed for while being quite honestly, mostly a bored teenager at school.

I have always loved writing, loved expressing my thoughts, putting them into words (as is becoming obvious by this text) and have always greatly appreciated when films, books or other media would reciprocate that – when the words on the screen or the page would feel like I wrote them myself, so true, so real, so incredibly close to me, that I would get literal shivers and wonder if telepathy is actually possible. But hey, that’s The Force for you!

As of now, I have just finished completely rewatching the whole Clone Wars series and as always, I have many thoughts on it. The first time I watched it was right after the final season came out because at that time, and especially during the pandemic, I was going deeper than ever into my interests, rewatching all my favourite things, while also searching for new ones to keep me from going absolutely insane (I think I maybe have succeeded in the opposite though). So, stumbling across this series, I thought I’d give it a try. The rest is history – after absolutely and hungrily devouring it, I continued to Rebels, and every other possible piece of media under the sun. Fabulous times.

Now, one thing I’d like to make clear – I’m not a pro. I am not in any way a certified critic, a writer, or any other sort of person authorised to make such an analysis. I am but a fan, a fan for whom this universe means more than I could ever hope to be able to put into words; a fan who after years of contemplation, has reached a point where I can’t keep it inside any longer. I’d love if this piece of writing makes it out in the universe, reaches as many people who enjoy Star Wars as much as I do, but even if not, I am writing it for myself, I am trying to step out of my comfort zone, reach deep into myself, and in a life of struggling with the loudness of my thoughts, trying to put something down, manifesting my emotions and creating something physical from them; these characters that mean so much to me will never be real, I can never hope to speak to them, touch them, or see them in real life. They have although shaped me as a person and largely formed my psyche and morals, view of the world, inner monologue, even some of my characteristics.

So nevertheless, for me they are more real than a lot of people I know are.

***

To begin, I don’t intend to focus on the Jedi’s role in the war – it is of course vital, but I think the discourse about that is to be found more detailed in relation to the movies, namely the prequels, as CW is very much about the clones themselves. When I first started watching it, I will be honest, I didn’t think I’d find what I ended up finding – and that is such depth that I couldn’t imagine finding again, after being a fan of the movies, both OG and prequels, for so long. But was I wrong!

But let’s start with Ahsoka, since I started by mentioning the Jedi and she is one of the first new characters to appear (besides Rex and many others, of course). First, I wasn’t convinced that I liked her much – she was a bit of an annoying youngling for the first few seasons, after all. I wanted Anakin and that’s about it. Well, I got what I wanted, I think, as I am firm in my opinion that Anakin’s arc is so widely explored that you get a whole another view of his character, something I didn’t think was possible, after all – isn’t the entire saga about him? It is, but still – what I saw in CW, through characters such as Ahsoka and Rex, contributed so much to Anakin’s development as a character and leading force in the saga as I don’t think anything else ever did in the movies, any of them. So, yes, I got what I wanted, but also, I got so much more – Anakin is not my main point of discussion here, I think as main of a character he might be in this series, he is not THE main one, at least not for me. And as Dave Filoni is quoted saying – The Clone Wars is about Ahsoka and Rex.

Who are they? That was my main wonder when I first started watching – why would I care about a random clone captain and a youngling? They are both not present in the movies, and the clones themselves have very little personality there, they are just side characters, until they end up executing Order 66, which is of course devastating. But after watching CW, I completely changed my outlook on it, but more on that later. So, Ahsoka and Rex – admittedly, in the beginning, I didn’t find that much since it’s just mainly classic Star Wars battles and a loose plot that is not absolutely VITAL to the end result but brings so much deeper insight into the clones’ personalities, and ultimately through that to the whole feel.

What I really find devastating about this series is the nagging feeling of doom you inevitably carry with you – you spend so many episodes and seasons watching your favourite characters win numerous battles, you root for them, you cry and laugh with them, you grow so attached to them; but you know how the story ends, you’ve seen Anakin become Vader, again you know about Order 66, you know the Empire rises after all and Palpatine’s plan works – and every time you hear someone say “you’re going to lose this war”, you hope for the opposite, but you know they’re right and there’s nothing to be done – evil wins in the end of this. And as I read somewhere – this is a story that happened a long time ago – it’s over, it has already happened, there is no hope, at least in this series, which I find frankly terrifying. Amazingly done, but still heartbreaking.

Clones, war, and choices

The point about choices and what it means to be a soldier gradually becomes more and more pronounced as the show goes on – one amazing example of this is the Umbara arc where the 501st is led not as usual by Anakin, but by Pong Krell (who later turns out to be a traitor of course). This is one of the darkest moments in the show, as clones are made to kill one another, to sacrifice themselves without reason, and for the first time to face an incompetent, and frankly evil general, and to choose to disobey. This is for me a crucial moment, as the clones have never before chosen to disobey direct orders – they were, after all, made to comply and to follow what their generals tell them to.

"I used to believe that being a good soldier meant doing everything they told you. That's how they engineered us. But we're not droids. We're not programmed. You have to learn to make your own decisions."

But here, we can see the conflict – especially in Rex, as he is the captain and has to face the general and answer for his deeds. He looks him directly in the eye and tells him they are not willing to go on a suicide mission, that they will not follow his orders, after he’s made them fight and kill their brothers unknowingly, and even ordered Fives and Jesse to be executed. However, Rex struggles with killing Krell, when he decides to; he orders him to kneel and points the blaster at his back but is unable to fire the shot. Once again, Star Wars proves that its plot has much deeper nuances and philosophies; for the first time here, we are faced with the harsh truth – the clones are people. We know that, but it somehow gets lost in the movies, as the focus there is on the Jedi’s end, which is just as tragic, of course. But before now, no one has considered what it really means to be a clone. They were made for war, they were made to die, their lives and their deaths were planned. Are the Jedi and the Republic, in that case, really the “good” side? That’s what I, at least, started to reflect on when I reached this point in the series, and it changed my whole outlook on the saga, on everything I have seen thus far. Yes, I still think the Jedi are cool and whatnot – but did they not deserve what happened to them for so blindly exploiting their soldiers? They didn’t know about Order 66 of course, and Palpatine is in no way right – but how come the Jedi are innocent in this? I don’t think they are, at least not fully. They could’ve stopped so much suffering and helped so many more clones, if not for their narrow views, which are all the reason for the clones’ suffering, Ahsoka’s leaving and consequently, Anakin’s betrayal.

"Sometimes in war, it's hard to be the one that survives."

Oh, Cody, Co-dy! The friendship the clones and in this case – Rex and Cody – share is truly precious and very accentuated in this arc especially (here the first arc of the last season) – it is Cody who Rex confides in about not wanting to lose any more brothers, as he knows he is one of the few ones who will understand him fully, what it means to be a soldier, to have to live with the morals of war, to have never known anything but loss. This is what makes Rex dive and slightly recklessly (thank God) search for Echo, proving that he’s alive, saving him from the tortures. They are brothers, and they never leave their own behind. But he is not possessive or jealous, and when he senses Echo’s pull towards Clone Force 99, he is ready to give him the push he needs to join them. He knows his brothers, as I said, and he knows the trials of war, so if Echo will feel even an ounce happier with this squad, he deserves it, after all he’s endured – “If that’s where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong."

Therefore, I love the Skako Minor arc and Echo’s retrieval, not only because it sets up the ground for The Bad Batch (I’m not even going to begin trying to explain what it means to me, as it deserves to have another huge debate on its own), but because it shows Rex’s devotion to his brothers – all of them. Even though he tries to be just a soldier, to live through the deaths, he still cares immensely, and that’s what makes him a good captain. His bravery is unmatched, he is always the one leading his men, and looking out for them, because he knows his men, he stands and fights side by side with them, and he’s ready to die on the battlefield, thus setting the example for everyone.

The philosophy of war is extremely complicated – this is what I enjoyed so much about the series (and the movies of course, politics and war is the main theme), among all other things; the fact that we see war as destroying, as a necessary evil, as a tragedy by itself – but war also created life in this case and its ending brought much more death than any of the battles ever did.

"The mission... the nightmares. They're finally... over."

I’m sorry, but I think I have never witnessed anything as remotely tragic as Fives’ arc – Palpatine told only him the whole truth, fully knowing no one would believe the clone hasn’t lost his mind; but the sacrifice the trooper made ultimately saved so many lives, mostly Rex’s, one of his closest friends. Fives never got to reunite with Echo but losing him made Rex realise how important every brother is to him, and in consequence, he never gave up on any of them (not that he was inclined to do so before of course). In his last sane moment, Rex begged Ahsoka to “find Fives”, and she understood. She knew the clones better than anyone and knew exactly what that meant and never doubted it for a second. Fives saved her life, too.

Fives’ arc is the first time the show begins to become darker and more sombre – it is also the point when we as spectators begin to realize what Order 66 actually means, having seen before only its results; but this time we see its execution, through the eyes of the clones themselves. They are forced to kill all Jedi, after being their most loyal soldiers, and honestly – incredibly loyal friends as well. They can’t control it and it’s not their choice – but that doesn’t mean they don’t realize what they’re doing – Rex said he couldn’t help it; Wrecker said he tried to fight it (The Bad Batch); Bly shot Aayla so many times, so she wouldn’t suffer and her death would be quick; Cody didn’t even check if Obi-Wan was dead; Wolffe didn’t kill Plo Koon. They were people, they were made to do inhumane things, but they found a way, they made a choice, so that they could somehow live with it after.

We get all of this through the clones’ perspective, rather than the Jedi, and it’s just as painful, if not more – we are used to hearing “the army betrayed its generals”, but what happens when we realise, they couldn’t do anything about it? What happens when we see the struggle, when we can almost feel the pain of having to betray? The clones, the most loyal creatures ever created, made for loyalty, have to turn on their generals, on their comrades, on their closest friends.

So, I come back to Ahsoka and Rex. We see them in the very first moment of the show, and they have already formed a bond, which is unlike anything else. They fight side by side the whole war – from the battle of Christophsis to the Siege of Mandalore – and Dave Filoni is truly right when he says this show is about them; but I think also in a broader sense. It is about two creatures who were destined to fight all their lives, who no matter their completely opposite backgrounds, turned out to be the same things – soldiers. Through and through, in their own ways. Their friendship transcends beyond all of this, they have a unique connection, that’s never shaken, even in the direst of moments; even years later, when they meet (in Rebels), you can feel their love for one another, the purest friendship there ever was, somehow ironically created by the ugliness of war and constant fight. Both Rex and Ahsoka suffered losses we cannot imagine – Rex says he tries not to hold on to any of his brothers, and Ahsoka is a Jedi, so it is forbidden for her to form such attachments; but we know. We see it in their eyes, we can hear it when they speak. Rex can never forget Fives’ death and the fact that he died thinking no one believed him; he ran to Skako Minor in an instant even though it might have been a trap, but the chance to save Echo was not one he was going to miss out on this time. And he saved his brother, against all odds. And he saved Ahsoka, as she saved him, time and again. Because that's what brothers do.

“I’m no Jedi” – an interesting phrase for Ahsoka and Rex to have in common, given how different both their roles and backgrounds seem to be, but it is indeed the one they unexpectedly share. Spoken first by Rex here, and then a lot later by Ahsoka in Rebels, it is highly unprovable that it’s on purpose. However, I don’t think anything in Star Wars is done without a reason, so I choose to believe there is some thread connecting them – after all it is Rex and Ahsoka, and that will always matter. What it means for both of them is simultaneously the same, yet different – Rex is the clone closest to the Jedi, there is no doubt about this; he’s used to their ways, he has as equally as strong a moral code, so it is somehow thinly implied that he acts similar to them, despite (or thanks to) being one of the strongest and most respected clone leaders. His closeness to both his general and commander is widely known, so no one seems to pay attention to the fact that he is actually a clone, as he makes his own decisions, and often chooses to fight where a Jedi would opt to step back.

Ahsoka and Anakin

For me Ahsoka became the best character in the whole saga, no ounce of doubt, sorry. She is the embodiment of the Force, she is fierce, loyal, but also incredibly wise for someone her age, and someone who is still learning. On many an occasion, she proves to be more experienced than Anakin (and in my book, experience outranks everything) and I feel like he’s learned as much from her as she did from him – if not more. She is the one keeping him sane and grounded, and I’m a firm believer that had she not left the order, he wouldn’t turn. Ahsoka’s presence brings so many new layers to Anakin’s character, that have not been explored before that and had she stood by him, he wouldn’t be able to become what he became. So, yes – ultimately, I blame the Jedi order for Anakin’s betrayal, I always have, but after watching this series, and seeing it from another point of view, I simply cannot be shaken. They took everything from him and left him alone, which has always been his weakest – he has always been this little child, terrified by the dark, later consumed by it, now unable to fight it anymore. The Jedi made him, and they unmade him too. In my opinion, he shouldn’t have ever been a Jedi in the first place – he is not like Obi-Wan, not like Yoda, not even like Ahsoka (who is not the traditional Jedi either, being trained by him) – he is so powerful and so weak at the same time, and that’s where his dilemma lays – who am I? Which side am I on? He doesn’t know, but no one is there to help him – Ahsoka included, as she (rightfully so!) leaves the order when she sees the truth about it. But she carries that guilt ever since.

She blames herself for leaving Anakin, she blames herself for not fighting alongside him when he needed it; for leaving her friend, her brother. If I were Ahsoka, I would have done the same – she was betrayed by the Jedi, not by Anakin, not ever, but still. He stood with the Order when she needed him by her side. And that is what destroys him too. The loss of his padawan, his most loyal friend is unlike anything else, and for her, leaving this life that’s all she’s ever known, transforms her view on everything. And when she inevitably returns, because that’s where she is supposed to be in order for the prophecy to happen – she must be there, but not by Anakin’s side; she doesn’t fit anywhere else, but she doesn’t fit there anymore either; and she can’t follow him, so she’s sent to Mandalore, again alongside the clones, her brothers, she goes down fighting with Rex. She’s always been his sister more than a Jedi; she didn’t ever belong anywhere else but on a battlefield. She may not be a clone, and she wasn’t meant to be a soldier either; but just like the clones, the war is all she’s ever known, and even though she was meant to be a peacekeeper, peace was something she never knew, especially after Anakin’s turn to the Dark side – even though there is no longer a war, she is forever tormented by the voices she heard in his last moments as her beloved master and the pain she felt when he left.

She knew it was over in that moment – Order 66 is by far the most heartbreaking arc of them all and I can never watch it without then spending weeks thinking about it – it’s genius, really, how Palpatine had this evil plan, dictated the whole war without anyone noticing; and it worked. It worked and changed the whole entire galaxy, and nothing could have prevented it – except maybe Anakin turning; and that is what Ahsoka can’t get over; she feels it is somehow partially her fault that the dark won; if only she hadn’t left, it haunts her forever. She doesn’t know Anakin is Vader, not until she meets him after, so she thinks he’s dead like the rest of the Jedi – and when she finds out what truly happened to him, she passes out (in Rebels; another terrific moment) because the pain is just too strong – the mixture of his known presence in the Force, and his new persona, that is torn from pain and suffering, feelings so intense and unknown to her she can’t understand them. It’s not her master, but it is undeniably Anakin. And he feels abandoned, he feels alone, he is guilty and sad and in constant pain, he is no longer there, not really, but then – he is. And the memory of what he once was, what he promised, everything he taught his padawan brings such pain for Ahsoka.

She may not think she is truly a Jedi, yet she is for me the only one of them I came to respect – she is never hypocritical, doesn’t leave anyone behind, not ever, and she fights for good, always for what she deems right, never feeling like she has to change for others, but in the end always blaming herself for their fate. She could never forgive herself for what happened to Anakin, and she can never forget her brothers, the clones, she suffers and grieves for every one of them, she knows their names, they were her whole world. And the only thing she had left, because they never judged and never tried to change her, they simply stood by her. Even when they had orders to kill her.

Rex and Order 66

Ahsoka’s master was gone from that moment on, and all she had left was Rex. The other main character, and I accept no objections to that statement. Rex is... the best one ever. He is, without any doubt, my favourite from this series. Putting aside my Ahsoka obsession, I didn’t expect to grow as attached to him as I did. Then again, I can’t separate them – for me, they are a team, the best one, and I don’t think I would have liked them as much had they not been the amazing pair they are. The connection between Rex and Ahsoka is what makes this series so different and so much better than the movies for me. It shows a level of true depth and caring that we haven’t really seen before – the type of platonic trust that few people find in their real lives. If I get to have just one friend that is as loyal, I don’t think I’d need anything more. Their story is so real, so touching and beautiful and sad – I think it is not only the best one in the series, but in the whole saga, and in any storyworld, really, for me personally. They meet a kid and a soldier, but they leave the war (or maybe the war leaves them) as equals, friends bound by experiences so unique and traumatic that they can never forget them, their bond can never be destroyed. They are soulmates, and they are forever. I don’t make the rules, sorry.

"Well, I've known no other way. Gives us clones all a mixed feeling about the war. Many people wish it had never happened, but without it, we wouldn't exist.”

Rex says this to Ahsoka moments before he is forced to execute Order 66 and it makes me shudder every time I hear it. Knowing what follows, knowing that the clones that have been created for war, are humans with so much more nuanced feelings that they let themselves express, that they fear the war ending as much as others might feel a war beginning is incredibly twisted. They are not machines, they are much more than that, they have feelings, and they have morals, and they are afraid. Rex has never doubted his loyalty to his commanders, and never gave any reason to be doubted – never hesitated, never showed anything less than immense courage and skill. But now he stands before the only person he’s never been able to deceive, and he voices for the first time what probably has been torturing him for a while – the knowledge that he is expendable, that his life might be over, and that this might be what he’s always fought for – the end of himself and his brothers. Victory and death, indeed.

Viewers have witnessed many a clone death, and these last episodes are the culmination of it all – from that point on, every favourite character is in danger. Of themselves. One thing that the series does marvellously is bring personality to so many seemingly identical characters – in the movies we never get any detail about their lives, their characteristics, even their looks – but now I could recognize Fives from Echo in a second; they might have the same features and the same voice, but they are not the same. They are brothers, forged by the same essence, they share the same blood and the same heart, but they are individuals with thoughts and passions so diverse it’s impossible not to notice, not to adore.

Rex is Ahsoka’s best friend, as she reassures him moments before everything went to hell. He is the man who stood and fought by her side, and who watched her grow up. Who, when faced with the order to kill her, removes and drops his helmet in a desperate try to fight Order 66 (perhaps unconsciously, as he is being mind-controlled), and so she could see his eyes, see his tears, his struggle, his shaking, and know that he had no choice, know that on some level, he is asking for help for the first time ever, the soldier he is – he removes his helmet so he could look her in the eyes, his best friend, his sister, his commander; and she knows.

She’d ran to him, when sensing there was something wrong – of course, Ahsoka would run to Rex, because he’s Rex, he’ll know exactly what to say and what to do, and maybe he could contact somebody who can fix this; this can’t be real, the war is almost over; she’s still a child after all, she can’t face this now, not alone, not without Rex. She’s never had to face anything without Rex, it’s just unimaginable – but she runs to him and in his eyes she sees someone who is not Rex at all, and suddenly all the men she trusted with her life more times than she can count, are not the men she knows, and they want to hurt her, and Rex wants to hurt her, even though it makes him suffer. She sees his tears; she feels in him what she never believed she would.

The parallels in their relationship are just amazing – one of their first interactions is when Rex says to her “good luck, kid” on their first ever mission together – and it shows just how much he already cares for her, how he understands that beneath all her witty remarks and wish to prove herself to her new master (and his soldiers!), she is still a kid thrown on a battlefield – an unnatural atmosphere for anyone, but especially for a young child with no experience whatsoever. From then on, they just keep getting closer and their friendship grows stronger until it reaches a point where they can understand each other without even speaking.

“Yeah, kid, I’m okay”, Rex says, moments after Ahsoka has removed his inhibitor chip and essentially saved both their lives, all while putting herself at a great risk, just because she cares and she can’t do this on her own. In this moment, in his eyes, she is again the kid he first saw, scared about her friend, trying to prove that she can do it all on her own – this parallel is so important to me; she has never been in such a situation alone before, because she’s always had Rex, and now she’d almost lost him, after just reuniting with him; when for a split second there was something in his eyes that she’d never seen before, the only thing that saved her was Anakin and Rex’s training (shown in Tales of the Jedi). Anakin taught her how to fight enemies much stronger than herself, her brothers taught her how to defend herself, not knowing that she’d ever have to, especially not against them. It’s truly heartbreaking.

“Ahsoka, it’s all of us” – just seconds after she has saved him, Rex looks her in the eyes and apologizes for almost doing the undoable, for almost killing her, for being okay when she almost wasn’t. How would he ever live with himself, knowing that he betrayed his best friend? The animation has developed so much by this point, that in this last episode, it’s almost like watching real people acting, at least that’s how I’ve always felt; it feels real, the emotion is just so intense and so palpable – especially with this being the first time Rex says her name. She is his friend, she is the only one who cared enough to save him, thus saving herself, proving again and again her loyalty, the thing they have most in common. They understand each other like no one else can, they have been through everything together, and now, in these crucial moments, they have both proven it – she never gave up on him, she trusted him enough to save him, and in return, he is ready to follow her anywhere and die protecting her. From his own men. Barely awake, he’d reached for his blasters, shooting his own brothers to protect her, not even fully conscious yet. They are equal, they have become one through the Force, and if it wasn’t clear before, it is now – they are sticking together to the very end, no matter what they must do, no matter how. They are forever. Loyalty means everything to the clones.

This and what follows on the bridge of the ship as it’s coming down, are my favourite scenes from the series.

“I hate to tell you this, but they don’t care! This ship is going down, and those soldiers, my brothers are willing to die and take you and me along with them!”

Even though it’s animated, even though you can’t see his face, and the only thing is his desperate voice, you can feel the devastation when Rex utters these words, touching his chest, as he says “brothers” – he has always cared for them, his family, and has mourned every single loss, but now, when there is no other choice, he knows protecting Ahsoka is the most important thing there is – the mind-controlled clones can’t tell apart their own from a traitor, so what’s the point?

There is always a right choice – and Ahsoka proves it, when she gently removes his helmet, only to show what everyone but also no one suspected – Rex is crying, he is afraid and in pain, and she is the only thing he cares about. He’s lost so much; he can’t lose her too. But she always has a plan, and she is probably the only one who cares about the clones as much as him; they don’t need to explain themselves; she doesn’t want to be the one who is responsible for so much death; there’s been too much already. They have lived a life of war, facing death and loss every single day, and enough is enough. She wants to live, but not at the cost of murder. There is no doubt in her voice when she says that.

Burying brothers

What follows is truly devastating to watch – Rex facing his brothers, as a traitor in their eyes, as some of them stand before him, still wearing their helmets with Ahsoka’s Togruta design on them, the colours of the 501st closely resembling her lekku. They’d painted their armour as soon as they knew Ahsoka was coming back to them and they were getting their commander, and little sister back, their best friend, the only one who cares enough to remember all their names, who never turned her back on them, even now, when they are against her, she still tries to save as many of them as possible; she’s been the one whose hand they’ve reached to when dying, their last memory on this world her face, her bright eyes, full of life and care, her presence calming them in the face of the inevitable, as she will have to do now as fell, at the very end.

How must it feel to lose everything you’ve fought and hoped for, in a span of hours? Palpatine’s plan is truly ingenious. The war might have ended, but only on the outside; a much larger, much more painful fight has begun, inside, for Rex and Ahsoka, who now have to navigate a life they haven’t ever considered; they may have wondered what life after the war might be like, but not like this, never like this; not as heroes, not even as fighters – as traitors in the eyes of their most beloved brothers and the new control of the Empire. But they choose to fight until the end, crashing down, falling with the cruiser together, hand in hand; the parallel of them hanging on to each other in the hanger is precisely mirroring the moment of Anakin and Obi-Wan trying to push each other away during their legendary fight on Mustafar, which is happening at the exact same time. But these two don’t let go, they simply cannot face losing each other, not now, not after all of this. They’ve fought for years, so many battles, losing track of what the fights are about – but this last one is clear; they are fighting for each other. And when they are the only survivors, they take to bury their brothers, and grieve the colossal loss side by side, silently watching, because there aren’t words to describe what they feel, and it’s not necessary, so they don’t speak. They know.

"I don’t want to bury any more of our brothers."

The devastation and sheer exasperation we hear in Rex’s voice when he says this much later, in The Bad Batch, when talking about the inhibitor chips nonetheless, is all we’ll ever need to know about him. Laying low after the end of the war, separating from Ahsoka, believed to be dead; in fact – being dead to the world in every sense, this is the choice he makes. He’s witnessed almost all his closest friends dying, he’s lost his general, he doesn’t have a purpose and a goal anymore; he has to deal with the realization that the war is over, but it ended at way too high a price, and he’s a soldier – he will fight every day, until the end, because it’s all he knows. He’s the most loyal soldier, survived Order 66 at the highest price there could ever be, and he can’t lose more. He wants to keep fighting, and he will, but not to lose. Rex doesn’t want to feel this awful feeling of loss, not ever again.

The same goes for Ahsoka – even though she quits the order and never officially finishes her training, the Jedi life is the only one she’s ever known, so her path even after leaving, after the war ends, and after she separates from Rex, is one lead by the code to a large extent, even if done so unconsciously. She claims to not be a Jedi when she faces her master as Vader in Rebels, wanting to avenge him; but she doesn’t end up doing it, she can’t possibly kill Anakin. So, she goes on, living in this middle ground – she is not truly a Jedi, but what else could she be? She has led her troops in many battles, fought by their side; even when they didn’t have to, they still called her commander, as loyal to her as ever; recognizing that she stood by them, even held them as they died.

When The Resolute crashes after Order 66, we are aware that her and Rex took every single one of their fallen brothers, buried them, and displayed their helmets, putting Jesse at the very front, the one who’d wanted to kill them the most at the end. But they know better, it was not him, not after literal moments before that he almost went insane from Maul’s questioning because he didn’t want to betray Ahsoka; he deserved a recognition, even in death. Every single one of them did, and Rex and Ahsoka gave it to them. She lets go now of her lightsaber, the Jedi weapon that bears her identity, and lays it to rest next to the fallen soldiers, because she doesn’t want to have any more connections to this war, there’s been enough fighting. She dies here too – for what it’s worth, she fell with the clones. I can’t imagine how traumatising and terrible it felt, pulling body after body out of the debris. For both of them.

Brother after brother.

***

No matter what I say, or how much I write, I don’t think I will ever be able to express properly what this world and this series in particular mean to me. Of course I love all things Star Wars, but The Clone Wars will always hold a very special and exceptional place among them. It is a unique feeling, one I cannot put a word on, it feels too big for me, as if there is some kind of a boundary that is at the verge of explosion, it’s holding so much emotion, and there isn’t enough space for it inside. Perhaps it’s the depth and the exploration of the clones, their relationships, the empathy their lives evoke – creatures bred for war, individuals barely recognized in life. But still human, as Rex and Ahsoka remind us of the entire time – especially when we see them watching the arranged helmets of their dead brothers – the clones have not been just pawns, they are people; people who died for a cause they couldn’t have any say in. Their lives were not their own; but Ahsoka’s life wasn’t her own either. This is the tragedy of The Clone Wars, but there’s also an ironic beauty about it – Ahsoka wouldn’t have had her master or her best friend, if it wasn’t for the war. It’s a story about the philosophy of choice, hope, good and evil of course, friendship and loyalty. Victory and its highest cost, death; the consequences after a life spent fighting, which no one usually thinks about.

When the final shot rolls and we see Vader’s ominous figure step on to the same place where Ahsoka and Rex were last, as he digs his apprentice’s lightsaber and holds it, we realize what the moral of the story is. We see Anakin’s eyes behind Vader’s mask, and we feel the cold he feels – he ended up alone after all, after all his trying, he had an army, he led troopers, he cared for an apprentice, but he lost them all. He won the war, but he would rather have died with his friends – who he doesn’t know are still alive, and they don’t know what happened to him either; instead of being their enemy. But the time for choosing is over, and there is no going back for him now.

His reflection hits the clone helmet, and we see the image of Anakin, walking away from Ahsoka and Rex.

It doesn’t end with the war; it begins with it.

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gonetoforks · 6 days

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Introducing; my version of Rise’s Venus de Milo!

(she/her/thon/thons) She’s about 9 ft tall since she’s equally based off of Frankenstein, IDW Venus and the OG Venus de Milo. more info about her and her life under the cut! (Like, a lot more info, she’s been living in my head since last April) (She’s a year old and I’m only now revealing her info!) (HBD Venus!!)

Her Family in the Hidden City

Big Mama had her made by a scientist/patron of hers during the first 2 seasons as a synthetic competitor for her Battle Nexus, but after her change of heart in the S2 finale, she took thon in as her heiress and daughter to try and do something right for a change. It’s very hard for her. Her parenting style is a good balance of gentle and stern but she thinks praise is a good replacement for emotional vulnerability and it’s turned Venus into quite a megalomaniac. Venus just calls her “Mama” and BM calls her “Veedee” (If she calls thon “Venus,” thon’s in deep shit)

Time wise, after the movie she’s physically at age 1.5, 2 years old, though mentally thon’s about where Leo and Donnie are, 16. (Still very young, please keep in mind she is a child and has big eyes like the teenagers in the show, she’s just tall. If you sexualize her I will send you to the shadow realm. BEHAVE.)

Venus also sees the doctor that made her, Dr Shelly, as her father, and they’re quite close. She spent the first few weeks of her life in his home, mostly in his library where she filled her head with everything most people know intuitively. She often can recite information she has no memory of learning, these first few weeks were less like learning and more like remembering information but from no memories.

Venus’s closest friend & surrogate older sister is Jennika, who works as Big Mama’s assistant (and a fine artist!) under the codename “Frida.” The 2 spend most of their days on diplomatic missions in the Hidden City mafia underworld and managing/restructuring the Battle Nexus to be more ethical. Venus is a naturally studious academic who loves philosophy, literature, and of course, renaissance art, so adults tend to think she’s mature, but only Jennika really knows how naive she can be. Jennika misses her human family, so they’ve really latched onto each other.

She picked her name out herself. When thon was first revived, Shelly rushed up to her and almost addressed her with a name starting with V but stopped himself before he could say it in full. Changed his mind and said that he supposed that name probably wouldn’t fit right now. So she had a preference for a V name.

Thon’s Physiology

It’s quite the mystery how he did it, but the secret to Venus’s sentience is a machine that manages to convert any matter she digests into energy in the form of empyrean. This is why she was mostly kept a rapunzel-like secret for the first few months of her life before she had Jennika as a bodyguard. Nobody knows about her heart except herself, Jennika, Shelly and Big Mama.

If she bleeds or cries, it glows bright green, so she hates both because thon feels like she’s drawing attention to herself. She’s insecure about most of her organic parts anyway and pushes herself to appear stoney, inorganic and perfect. (The consequences of idolizing and wanting to emulate a literal goddess statue, skill issue) It’s not like her fears are completely unfounded though, she has no idea where Shelly got her dead body parts.

If she’s too stressed, the seams on her upper arms bleed and they fall off like a gecko tail. She kinda looks like the og Venus do Milo statue when that happens, it’s a bit gruesome.

To represent her need to balance the organic/inorganic parts of herself, thon’s biggest dreams vs realistic expectations for herself, her right hand is organic (and based off the 2012 turtles) while her left is robotic. (& made to look like big mama’s claws in her spider form)

Goals & wants

She wants to overthrow the council of heads and rule the Hidden City as president. (Through a democracy of course!) She sees them as ineffective and useless, she went to them during the Kraang invasion to tell them something needed to be done about the alien invaders but they did nothing and said to let the turtles handle it. She’s grateful everything turned out well but she still has a grudge against them and the way they run things. Big Mama thinks she’s silly and Jennika thinks she’s a mentally unwell, workaholic, megalomaniac but pizza supreme as her witness, thon’s gonna do it.

Thon wants to be a good, ethical leader/politician (oxymoronic, I know lmao) and sees the increasing amount of Battle Nexus estate Big Mama entrusts her with as practice for managing yokai society. She would love “the Good Place.”

She also wants to know more about Jennika and for her to reconcile with her father.

Venus’s arc

“Your life is your own, ok?!” She struggles with dehumanizing (de-turtle-izing?) herself because she believes it makes her greater, more fit to achieve her goals. When the fact that she’s a mortal, breathing, living being, that can’t possibly be anywhere near divine like thon thinks she needs to be hits her, she spirals. Thon desperately needs to learn that being imperfect is a necessary gift, that she is “the protagonist of her own life” and that you don’t need to be a great person to do great things, you just need to be a person.

She’s very studious and seen as intelligent and mature for her age, but when she’s put in real life situations after meeting her cousins, the turtles, she has to learn to to manage imperfections and embrace them.

She’s quite based off of MP100 and Barbie haha.

For this internal conflict I was inspired by how the original character’s depiction back in the 80’s was really,, dehumanizing? if that’s the right word? Misogynistic very much too. I find the message that; “no matter what other people think of you or what you think of yourself, you will never be anything more or less than a regular being” both comforting in itself and a neat subversion of the original VdM since one of my favorite aspects of Rise’s writing is how subversive it is.

I can’t wait to show you more of her! Esp how she interacts with the Mad Dogs!

Bonus; Design Details!

All the turtles have shape motifs; square, rectangle, circle, triangle, her’s is a Raindrop shape! Combined with her electric motifs she’s a bit of a storm cloud lol

The Turtles’s shells are s-shaped and follow the curvature of a human spine, I draw Venus’s shell really distorted and disproportionate to this since she’s inorganic.

Similarly, while the other turtles shells and plastrons are like boxes that contain their whole torsos, thon’s kinda just sits on top of her torso, where her plastron ends and her legs begin don’t line up. It started out as an anatomical error but i liked how it made her look distorted and off somehow. (Kinda gruesome, but it kinda helps her look like a bloated corpse, which is what she is aksjks) To be clearer, the difference between how the mad dogs’ shells/plastrons/bridges(sides) are attached to their bodies vs Venus’s is like the difference between a bodysuit and a t-shirt.

#rottmnt #artists on tumblr #digital art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #venus de milo #venus tmnt #venus de milo tmnt #my art <3

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gimmehyuck · 2 years

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through the years | j.jh

summary. in which you both have feelings for each other but are too blind (oblivious) to notice and johnny gets a little fed up.

pairing. jaehyun x reader, feat. johnny

genre. childhood friends to lovers, mostly fluff

word count. 3kish

warnings. none really? jaehyun almost is an ass but catches himself. a tiny bit of angst sprinkled in. johnny is a matchmaker.

a/n: originally posted on my previous blog, pocketfullofhaechan before i deactivated that one. minor edits.

eighteen years ago:

your family had just moved in to a new house, in a new town, forcing you to go to a new school. you were only seven but it still felt like it was the end of the world. you had just left your best friends, and your favorite teachers, and your grandmother that lived next door. it was the end of the world as far as you were concerned.

of course, it was the end of the world in the eyes of a seven-year-old.

your parents were worried for you on your first day at your new school. you had been so quiet since they had moved that they thought you would have a hard time adjusting, and… well, you already were having a hard time adjusting. they just hoped as they dropped you off at the front of the school, that you would be able to open up a little.

but you were absolutely sure it would be a terrible day, because it was halfway through the school year and you just knew that everyone already had their best friends picked out and what were you supposed to do then, huh?

your parents hugged you goodbye, as they left you with your teacher that morning. she knelt down to your height and told you how they were going to make sure you felt welcomed and that today was going to be a good day, and you just huffed inside because you weren’t five anymore, you already knew it would be a bad day.

she had her hand placed on your back as she introduced you to the class, and assigned you your deskmate. you sat down next to a boy that smiled widely at you, his dimples deep. he reminded you of prince charming from cinderella, which was your favorite movie that month.

“hi,” he whispered loudly. “i’m jaehyun!” and as any seven-year-old should, he stuck his hand out for you to shake. it took a moment before you acquiesced and stuck yours out for him to shake too. “i’m y/n.”

you got along well with the boy during class and recess, but it wasn’t until lunch time that you decided you would be best friends.

“what do you mean you’re already in love?!” he asked, incredulous. “you’re seven, y/n!” you just sniffed, turning up your nose at him and crossing your arms over your chest.

“but i am in love, with prince charming from cinderella.” you argued your point avidly.

jaehyun looked confused, “but he isn’t real, he’s a cartoon.” the look of offense on your face was big and dramatic as you retorted, “yeah, well, neither are teenage mutant ninja turtles but you still wanted to be leonardo at recess.”

“yeah but,” he started, holding up a small finger to begin his argument.

“besides,” you said, completely interrupting his defense by suddenly putting your face close to his, making him lean away at the sudden intrusion to his personal space and it made you grin toothily. “you kind of look like prince charming, maybe i’ll marry you instead.” you stuck your tongue out at him before going back to eating your lunchable, entirely missing his ears turning red.

but, in that moment you had decided… the day wasn’t so bad after all, you met jaehyun.

eight years ago:

you and jaehyun had been inseparable as best friends since then. and he couldn’t help but think of that moment as he waited patiently for you at the bottom of the stairs. he fiddled awkwardly with the cuff links on his rented tux that his dad had to help him tie the tie, but he feels comfortable talking with your dad as the time passed.

it was prom night your senior year, and it made sense that you would go together. it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that jaehyun had told all the guys in the locker room after practice that he had already asked you so they wouldn’t dare attempt.

it took him another week after the fact to work up the courage to lamely say at lunch while pushing around his peas, “since i guess no one’s asked yet, would you mind being my date to prom?” when he didn’t meet your eyes, you rolled yours, and smiled the sweet smile he loved so much.

“i actually did get asked though, by kun.” you responded, putting your chin in your palm as you sat across from jaehyun at lunch. you had a twinkle in your eye as you watched his ears turn red, and he sputtered for a moment trying to think of a way to respond and cover up his embarrassment.

“well, i, um…” he trailed off as he looked everywhere in the cafeteria besides at you. you noticed he found the blank wall especially interesting, and decided to stop playing with him. you kicked him gently under the table, making his eyes jump to yours quickly.

you grinned at his flushed cheeks, “he had told me that you said we were going together, but he wanted to shoot his shot, to quote him exactly, to say that he did it.” you paused, watching his eyes grow wide.

“but i turned him down.” you shrugged, moving your hand from your chin to rest on top of your other arm. you continued to watch as his face changed, the blush fading and his eyebrows coming together in confusion.

“you turned him down? why?” he said, the overwhelming embarrassment forgotten about, momentarily. you leaned forward, invading his space just a little.

“because silly,” you paused, and it was your turn to blush slightly, your confidence only taking you so far in this conversation. “i’m going with you, duh. we’ve had this planned for years, don’t you remember?” you rushed to finish the sentence, and decided you wanted to end this conversation quickly to cover your face turning pink, stood up to head to class.

when you were at the door that led to the hallway for you to leave, you turned around and called to him, cupping a hand around your mouth to make sure your voice carried, catching the attention of the few students sitting in your area. “my dress is red, make sure you match!”

jaehyun was pulled out of his memory by your dad’s whistle as you stepped down the stairs. the red of the dress matching his tie perfectly, and the red of the corsage he had in his sweaty hands. he swore he had never felt this nervous before. not even before a big game. he gulped slightly, as he took in the beauty that was you.

you made it down the stairs to stand in front of him, your teeth on full display because of how widely you were smiling. jaehyun could hear your parents chuckling at his loss for words. after taking pictures and arriving at the dance, you both forgot about the flushed cheeks and had fun dancing all night with your friends. towards the end of the night, a slow song came on and everyone coupled up with their dates. jaehyun held out a hand to you, and you took it with a small smile, placing your hands on his shoulders, and slowly swayed back and forth with the rhythm of the song.

you leaned your head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment, heart happy and warm. you felt jaehyun put his head against yours gently. you felt his chest rumble as he spoke softly to you, “i don’t think i mentioned it to you yet, but i think you look beautiful.” you raise your eyes, to look at his brown ones. they were your favorite color. “i think you look really handsome, too.” at your comment, his dimples made an appearance, and you have to admit, that he looked even more handsome when they did.

you caught him glancing at your lips, and his head moved slightly down, as if he was going to lean in to kiss you, but suddenly the music scratches and the vice principal comes over the speakers to announce the prom king and queen causing you to quickly jump apart, the vice principal’s voice so loud that neither of you catch the disappointed huff you both heave.

a month ago:

you hadn’t spoken to jaehyun in a month, and it was tearing you apart. you don’t even know what escalated the argument so quickly, well you do but you still don’t understand the basis - the why of it all.

you were eating ice cream at his place, like you did every friday night.

you were going to watch a movie, like you did every friday night.

you were both talking about your weeks, like you did… every friday night.

jaehyun had seemed a little more quiet than usual, but you brushed it off to stress. he was taking on more responsibilities at his new job, trying to move his way up, and you figured it had to be that.

you were rambling about the most unimportant things of you day, just trying to fill the silence when he cut you off suddenly. he was playing with his spoon in his ice cream, when he stopped.

“y/n?” he said, his eyes looking into yours with emotion that you couldn’t quite place. “mm?” you answered, the spoon shoved partially in your mouth as you continued to eat your ice cream.

“johnny told me he had asked you out.” you tilted your head slightly, at the statement that almost sounded like a question. you nodded.

“and you said yes?” you brought your eyebrows together, where was this going?

“yes, i did.” you answered, putting the spoon down on the table.

“why?” he said, his voice lined with what you could only describe as anger. but jaehyun had never gotten angry with you before, ever.

“jae, what do you mean ‘why’?”

“i mean just that, why? why did you say yes to him? he’s my best friend.” jaehyun couldn’t stop the bitterness in his voice, his heart twinged a little when he saw the hurt flash in your eyes. but he had been in his head too long to just let it go now. why johnny? why his best friend?

why… why not him?

“i didn’t realize johnny was off-limits.” you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“yeah, well. he is. you can’t date him.” date me, he wanted to say. me. me. me. you leaned back away from the counter you were standing at at the tone he took with you. you stared at him for a few seconds before scoffing.

“you can’t tell me who i can and can’t be with, jae.” you watched as his jaw clenched tightly.

“i can when it’s my best friend. i’m telling you no. i didn’t say anything when you dated ten, or taeyong, or even yuta. but i’m saying it now. you can’t date him.”

“i thought i was your best friend?” you questioned because that was the first thought to pop in your head before you shrugged that one off and continued, “besides you actually can’t tell me who i can and can’t date, my father doesn’t even do that and especially when i’ve never told you who you could or couldn’t date. don’t act like a child.” you said, voice raising in pitch a little. the constant back and forth making you feel defensive for reasons you weren’t sure of.

“well don’t act like a –,” he said in anger, or what was actually insane jealousy, before he realized what he had almost said and pursed his lips to silence himself. your face fell instantly, knowing what was almost said. you weren’t the type to let words hurt your feelings or make you cry, but since they were coming from jaehyun’s mouth, they hit differently. “what were you going to say, huh? going to call me a what?” real anger lacing your words now.

“y/n, i didn’t mean that. you know i didn’t mean that, it’s just -,” it was your turn to cut him off.

“save it, jaehyun.” you said, your bottom lip quivering slightly. you quickly wiped away the tears that escaped, and pushed your ice cream away towards him. you paused wanting to say more, but nothing came to mind. you couldn’t tell if you were more angry or sad, but it didn’t matter now. you left his apartment that night and didn’t pause as you let the door slam behind you.

that was month ago, and you hadn’t spoken to him since. you had started and stopped many texts since then, and have caught the small bubble in your chat that let you know he had also been typing and deleting messages as well. but you weren’t going to apologize.

which led you to sitting in the restaurant with johnny as you play with the food on your plate. johnny watches you push the food back and forth for five minutes before he sighs and places his hand over yours to get you to put the fork down to finally leave the food in peace. this was your second date you had gone on, and the second date where you had been a little not yourself.

“you look miserable,” he says, and johnny knew exactly what was the cause but hadn’t said anything until now. your eyes look so sad and he couldn’t bear it any longer.

“i’m not, i promise i’m having a great time!” you say, forcing a smile on your face. johnny studies your face for a moment before continuing.

“y/n, i like you. you’re funny, and kind, and beautiful.” you groan and then slump in your chair, knowing where this was going, where this always went. “no, let me finish.” he says, a small smile flashing across his face. “i asked you out because yes, i do think you’re beautiful, but i have to be honest, actually. i had an ulterior motive for asking you out,” and at the distressing look crossing your face, he quickly continues, waving his hands slightly.

“i actually asked you out with intentions to try and make jaehyun realize you wouldn’t wait around forever for him to make a move, but i’m starting to think it will have to be you.”

“i don’t…” you say, your brain trying hard to catch up with what was being said. johnny, realizing you were struggling to follow his train of thought, sighs deeply and brings a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose. “you both are absolutely hopeless, i can’t believe this. you both are so in love with each other that everyone else sees it but you two? is that even possible? i thought this only happened in movies.”

your thoughts came to a screeching halt. yes, you were painfully aware of your feelings for your best friend, but knew that regardless of what happened, that he just didn’t feel the same way, especially after prom night senior year, and him dating other women which prompted you to date other men. “i mean, i always thought there may have been feelings for me but it’s been at least, like, nine years since i realized, and he just what? didn’t think to tell me? he’s had ample opportunity!” your eyes are wide, frantically trying to get your brain into gear to make this make sense to you.

“oh, no. he’s wanted to tell you for at least… three years now. look, he really should be the one to explain, and i’m sorry for taking that from him but you guys are ridiculous.” your heart was breaking and swelling all at the same time. your knee starts bouncing as your thoughts race a mile a minute.

“y/n?” your eyes jump to his, the feeling of anxiousness spreading throughout your body. “he’s at home, probably wallowing in self-pity.” johnny’s eyes flicker to the door and then back to you, nodding his head, telling you to go. it took less than a second for you to decide.

you stand up and lean across the table and kiss johnny on the cheek before bolting from the restaurant. you drive on autopilot to jaehyun’s apartment, only for you to sit in your car for what felt like an hour before actually getting out and walking up to his door. before you could talk yourself out of it, you knock on the door.

almost instantly, jaehyun opens the door and you release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“y/n, wha-,” his face a look of shock, hand still grasping the handle of the door.

“are you in love with me, yes or no?” you ask, cutting to the chase. the need to know that johnny was telling the truth the only thing driving your bravery. jaehyun’s mouth opens and closes a few times, and in that time while he figured out what to respond, you take in his appearance. he still looks flawless, as always, even if his hair looks tousled and his shirt a little wrinkled.

it took a few seconds before he finally responded with a, “wha – what?”

“yes or no, jae.” you press, and he gazes at your face, taking in the way your eyes told him to be sincere in his answer.

he lets his gaze fall to the ground, before mumbling a small, “yes.”

“yes?” you question, taking a small step inside his apartment.

fuck it, he thought. he’s already ruined the friendship with the stupid argument, might as well lay it all out there.

he steels himself before looking back at you, who he hadn’t realized was so close to him now.

“yes, i’m in love with you. i’ve been in love with you for years. since, like, middle school, i guess. and, y/n, let me just say that i’m so sorry for what i insinuated when you were here last time, i was just insanely jealous that you were choosing my best friend over me, and that’s no excuse but – mmph!” you had gotten really good at cutting him off, had years of experience with it since the first day you met him, except this time you cut him off by throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him fully.

it takes a moment for him to register what’s happening before he releases the door handle and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer, the door shutting behind you with a click. jaehyun walks you backwards until you were leaning against it.

after minutes, you break apart, breathless and eyes glinting with an unspeakable happiness. jaehyun searches your face for any regrets only to find none. begging for this to actually be real this time and not just a dream. he smiles when you smile though, and it heals everything in his heart that he was sure would have stayed broken.

“johnny was right, we really are hopeless.” you giggle as you hide your face in his chest, suddenly turning red from your brash behavior catching up to you at once.

you feel jaehyun’s laugh, “we got here in the end, at least.” and you smile at that, nodding into his chest as you grip his shirt in your hands.

“yeah,” you breathe. “only took a few years.”

and of course, at that moment, both of your phones buzz and you both pull them out to read the text sent.

johnny (9:58pm): you’re welcome, btw ;)

you make eye contact with him before grinning at each other.

and when jaehyun leans in again, you close your eyes happily.

#gimmehyuck #masterlist #nct127 masterlist #jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jeong yoonoh #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader fluff #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun au #jaehyun fic #nct #nct 127

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danielfeketewrites · 6 months

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The Marvels (2023)

Not usually reviewing films but here we are. A friend of mine invited me to the cinema to see The Marvels. And so we did, two days ago.

Neither of us expected much. I haven't seen Ms. Marvel. I thought Captain Marvel was 'meh' and a bit bland. Not offensive in any way (if you discount the blatant milatary propaganda) but ultimately Just A Marvel ProductTM. And not even a fun one. At least not fun for me.

And no offence to Teyonah Parris, but her character was definitely the least interesting thing about WandaVision. That's not saying much, seeing as that miniseries was great and one of the best things Marvel did since Infinity War... But it just goes to say that this didn't seem that promising.

The trailer for it looked quite cool though.

My friend Marek, who was bitching to me about how bad Captain Marvel is for years now, invited me to see The Marvels with him in the cinema. Mostly as a joke. Although he did enjoy Ms. Marvel. But still, neither of us expected much.

To our surprise - The Marvels is really good and we both enjoyed ourselves a lot.

It's really, really good.

While I don't think it can stand shoulder to shoulder with stuff like The Suicide Squad, Across the Spider-verse or GotG Vol. 3, I still feel comfortable calling it one of the best superhero movies of this decade so far. It's easily the 2nd best MCU movie since Spider-man: Far From Home, imo. (admittedly, I haven't seen all of them, so take this hot take with a grain of salt... I just really enjoyed The Marvels)

So now I'm gonna do a wee bit of gushing about some of the reasons why it's so good. (spoilers bellow)

Carol, Kamala, and Monica are just really fun to watch? Their interaction is amazing.

Kamala can be a bit cringey but in an authentically teenage way and I really enjoyed that! Her being a huge fan of Captain Marvel never stopped feeling real. Yeah, of course she's into RPF.

Consequences! I love when things in stories have consequences. And this is all built around consequences to the stuff Captain Marvel did. She did them with good intentions... But that didn't necessarily matter. And I love that. It adds a bit of complexity and nuance that's less and less common in superhero movies these days.

Which ties into... Carol not being perfect. She's amazing and powerful but she can't save everyone.

Carol is also... really fun? With a slight nudge she just became a really well-written, interesting protagonist? I love this version of Captain Marvel and I want more!!! Brie Larson finally gets to show off a bit as an actress!

She just really gave me Xena vibes, in the best possible way.

While the villain isn't an all-time great, the actress went for dignity and it payed off. She feels iconic and you understand where she's coming from.

Monica's sacrifice was quite powerful and kinda hit me.

The "training sequence" where Carol, Monica, and Kamala are practicing the switching is perfect. I love it. No notes.

I love that while it's only an indirect continuation of Captain Marvel, it takes the best bits from that film and builds on them. For me, Goose is the best bit of that film - a cat, but make it eldritch and alien, as well as bigger on the inside? Nice, love it. So what do we do with that idea the second time around? MORE CATS!!! I got a bit excited when I saw the kittens in the trailer and they did not disappoint. (Can the next movie be set on their planet? Please?)

But it's not just "there are kittens now" though. THE KITTENS ARE INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT. It's not just there to be there, but it's an important plot point. And it's so fun!

Nick Fury is also fun.

But it's not just taking what worked and expanding on it. This movie got really creative!

For example - the worlds! Especially the Bollywood planet. Great stuff.

That's just some of the reasons to like this film. I'm probably gonna watch it again when it's on Disney+

If you haven't seen it yet, go do that it if it's still playing in a cinema near you. It's definitely worth a watch if you are in the mood for a fun, well-made superhero film.

I'm really looking forward to what Nia DaCosta does next. This film really didn't deserve to underperform and I hope she gets another stab at a big blockbuster like this in the future.

#the marvels #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #captain marvel #ms marvel #carol danvers #monica rambeau #kamala khan #dfpost

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hollandorks · 2 years

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shadows in the night

battinson!bruce wayne x f!reader

chapter two

summary: more than a year after the events of middle of the night, y/n and Bruce are happily engaged and working to lower the amount of crime in Gotham. However, a new killer calling himself the Riddler has other plans for their happiness…set during the events of the movie, mostly canonical, some changes made to fit the story

a/n: Yay time for another chapter! Going to try my hardest to stick to posting twice per week--I have about 8 more chapters written so far (still only 1/3 of the way through the movie, oops) so we should be good for a while! Once I finish writing the whole thing, I’ll probably post more frequently! That being said, I’m on vacation next week and I’m not sure of the internet situation! Ch 3 will be posted before I leave though!

If you feel like supporting me further, donate to my ko-fi! You can get either a teaser for the next chapter (for lower donation amounts) or the entire next chapter (higher donation amounts). Find more info and the link to my ko-fi here!

Series Masterlist

word count: 2645

“Thank you, Gordon. I mean it.”

He muttered something sarcastic about being grateful under his breath, but she was already gone.

It was still raining when Halloween dawned.

“This reminds me of when we first met,” y/n mused as they ate a late dinner on Halloween night. “You need to be extra careful tonight. There’ll be so many teenagers who could push you off of a roof.”

Bruce rolled his eyes.

She was doing her best to try to distract him. He had something on his mind, and she knew it, but she wasn’t really sure how to help. They’d already argued briefly about her going out with him–it was too dangerous, according to him, but according to her there was too much potential for him to get hurt. She wanted to help. She needed to help. He couldn’t be everywhere.

She wasn’t sure she had won the argument, but he had at least let it drop.

She’d let it drop too, because the guilt of lying to him was still eating her alive. He didn’t know that she was already helping him. And she wanted to keep it that way. To keep him safe. To keep him from being distracted. To keep him from being pulled in too many directions at once.

“Just think,” she continued lightly, “You might not have a cute girl to save you this time. Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice, etcetera.”

“Are you ever going to let me live that down?” Bruce asked dryly as he rinsed off his plate.

“Nope,” she said cheerfully. She stepped up behind him and rested her forehead against the warm spot between his shoulder blades. He huffed a laugh. They stayed like that for a few minutes. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself closer. “Please be careful. I mean it. Call me the second you need help.”

“I will,” he said. He rested his hands over hers. “Please–don’t sneak out. Just–let me know. Alright?”

She laughed, face still pressed into his muscular back. “Okay. But I can’t promise that I won’t leave. You can’t be everywhere. And don’t even think of hiding the Batmobile keys again. I had copies made.”

He stiffened but didn’t argue the point.

He finally turned around in her arms. She nestled closer and kissed him.

“Please be careful,” she whispered.

“I will. I love you.” He kissed her again, and then he was gone.

She finished cleaning up dinner to distract herself. She had a bad feeling she couldn’t exactly place. The growing crime despite all they’d done, despite all Gordon and cops like him had done, was worrisome. Gotham was turning on itself, and she didn’t like it. She didn’t like what that meant for Bruce. For Batman.

Maybe she could wait it out at the restaurant, pack her gear up just in case Bruce needed her.

She was downstairs before she had fully decided. She picked up the extra earpiece he always left for her.

“Bruce?” she asked softly as she put it in, grabbed her gear, and went back up the elevator. She couldn’t take the Batmobile to the restaurant, as much as she wanted to. Regular cars only, unfortunately. She had conceded a few months into their relationship and let him buy her a car. To compromise, it had been a used car, because she didn’t need him blowing money on her. Plus, he had six other cars already that for some reason he wasn’t happy with her picking from. He wanted to buy her one.

His response was instantaneous. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just–I was going to go to the GP for a bit. Let me know if you need me.”

He didn’t respond–probably busy already, she mused.

He’d changed the earpieces a bit in the past year. He had something in his suit now that acted kind of like a bluetooth connection. He could connect to it with the push of a button and disconnect just as easily. That way they could both be wearing the earpieces without getting too distracted by constant noise. It made it a little easier to watch him go out each night.

As y/n drove through the rain into the city, her body thrummed. She was almost itching for a fight. She understood exactly why Bruce did what he did. Not only to keep the city safer, but because it was…exhilarating.

She made herself drive straight to the Gotham Project no matter how badly she wanted to stop and put her suit on. Just this once, she would listen to Bruce. She’d rather wait on him to need her than be out somewhere, too far to help, when the call came.

At least she had done some good already–she’d gotten the name of Derrick Smalls to Gordon, and it was only a matter of time before the man was arrested. She wished, briefly, that she’d done more than break his hand and punch him in the face, though.

At the restaurant, y/n shoved her bulky backpack into her office and locked it behind her. The Gotham Project was small, but it was hers. It was actually two buildings next to each other. One was the restaurant and kitchen itself, the other was a sort of homeless shelter and supply store her manager Bryn ran for her. It didn’t hurt that Bryn had also been formerly employed by the Iceberg Lounge while she paid her way through school.

“It’s me,” y/n called to the chef who ran things when she wasn’t around. His name was Ollie and he’d served ten years in jail for a crime he didn’t commit. He was sweet, overly flirtatious, and honestly a better cook than she was. “I’m just here to check on things.”

Things had been running incredibly smoothly for six months or so. Hiring Bryn and Ollie had been the final puzzle pieces, and things had started simply…falling into place. And with the attention that Bruce’s name got her, well, they did pretty well. They helped a lot of people.

“Hey, boss lady,” Ollie called from where he flitted around the kitchen. Support staff and waiters danced around the space. Ollie currently had cat ears and a tail. Some of the other waiters had costumes, too, all simple and practical. “Busy tonight.”

“That’s great.” She meant it–the busier they were, the more people they could help. People could come and eat like it was a regular restaurant, with the option to pay it forward for someone in need. And then the less fortunate or homeless could come in and have a normal, free meal before getting any supplies they might need from next door. People sometimes took advantage of it and tried to get a free meal, but her staff had gotten pretty good at keeping the assholes at bay.

“Your cop friend is out there,” Ollie said with a flash of a smile.

Gordon came to visit on nights he worked, usually because he was in the area. She constantly tried to get him to eat for free, but he always paid for himself and the next person to come in.

Y/n thanked Ollie and pushed her way out into the dining area. It was busy. At the late hour, a lot of people were filling up before a night on the town. There were costumes everywhere.

Gordon was at his usual seat at the bar, eating a huge plate of the night’s special, carbonara.

“Hey,” y/n said as she slid into the empty seat next to him. “Can’t get enough of me?”

“I’m here for the food, not you.” But there was a hint of a smile underneath Gordon’s mustache.

She grinned. “That’s fair. Ollie’s going to have me out of a job sooner rather than later.”

“Good thing you own the place, then.” Gordon winked. His phone started ringing in his pocket.

“Good thing. I’m going to check on Bryn.” She patted Gordon’s arm. “Enjoy your meal.”

He nodded as he fumbled for his phone. He frowned at the caller ID.

She hovered for a second, overly curious. He shot her a look that said he knew she was eavesdropping, but he didn’t say anything.

“Gordon,” he answered curtly. He set his fork down. Y/n watched as Gordon’s face blanched. His mouth parted, just slightly, before he seemed to realize he was in public. “Shit, I–Shit. Okay. I’m on my way. I gotta make a quick stop first, alright? Lock it down. No, I mean it. Lock it down.”

He hung up quickly and slapped a twenty dollar bill on the countertop.

“What happened?” she asked, because from the look on Gordon’s face, it was bad.

“I–It’s not good. I can’t say anything yet. I gotta run. Thanks, kid.”

Gordon was out in a flash. Y/n quietly took the money and put it in the till, frowning. She hadn’t seen that kind of look on Gordon’s face in a long time. It must be bad, whatever it was. The bad feeling she’d been harboring all night grew worse.

She got her confirmation not fifteen minutes later when the Bat signal flared to life overhead.

It had been an utter coincidence that she’d chosen a spot with an almost perfect view of Batman’s signal. It had felt a little bit like fate, the first time she’d been in the restaurant and seen it lit.

Something churned in her gut.

Not good at all, if Gordon was calling Bruce in on it. Usually that meant something big, bad, or both.

She picked up her phone and pretended to make a call while, over the earpiece, she said, “Gordon was here and got a call. He seems freaked out.”

Bruce’s voice in her ear calmed her. “I’m on my way to him now. Are you still at the restaurant?”

“Yeah, but–”

“Stay there until I know what’s going on.”

She sighed. “Okay.”

She hated being kept out of everything. At least she could look over whatever Bruce had recorded for the night, both with the lens and within his current journal.

Bryn was packing up a care bag for an elderly lady when y/n entered the other half of the Gotham Project with her master key. This side was a little bigger. There were a couple of rows of cots, a few small stalls with showers, and a huge, heavily secured pantry. Bruce had made sure all of the security was top notch, with alerts going straight to his phone, along with hers and Alfred’s too. He even paid for around the clock security guards, which grated on her nerves sometimes. But at least no one would try to take advantage of her generosity.

Bryn was a tall Black girl that ran the place better than y/n had ever hoped. She’d only seen her around the Iceberg Lounge a few times, and hiring her had been a huge stroke of luck brought about by Lena, who had officially introduced them. Y/n had actually tried to hire Lena first, to get her out of the club, but Lena had politely declined and sent Bryn her way instead.

“How’s it looking?” y/n asked after the older lady shuffled away, back into the rain. The woman had declined one of the cots for the night.

Bryn finished writing out the details of the supplies she’d given before answering. “Pretty good. Running low on umbrellas, ponchos, and trashbags, of course. But I already placed an order and it should be here by Saturday. Which means it’ll be sunny.”

Y/n laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure it does. You know, between you and Ollie, I kind of feel useless around here these days.”

“Hey, whenever you’re bored, just let me know. I’d love extra time off.” Bryn winked to show she was joking.

“I’ll put in a word with the boss.”

At that moment, her phone buzzed. She tried not to seem too eager as she yanked it from her pocket.

“Don’t tell me–it’s your sugar daddy.” Bryn had been around in the days when y/n had first started working for Bruce, and she never let her forget it. She constantly teased her about it, about the GP’s funding, all of it. But unlike most people, Bryn didn’t mean a word of it. She adored Bruce and always gave him shit for not talking much, which y/n enjoyed to no end.

“It is,” she said, but it was from Bruce’s “work” phone, not the man himself. His name in it was simply a dark circle emoji. “Because you always have dark circles under your eyes, makeup or otherwise,” she’d joked when he’d asked about it.

Mitchell was murdered.

Y/n’s heart stopped.

The interim Mayor, Don Mitchell, Jr. The man who had replaced Mayor Williams after everything that had happened, and was currently running to be the actual mayor. The man who’d helped bring down Maroni.

Y/n cursed colorfully. If Bruce was texting, it was because he was around too many others to speak out loud comfortably. “You know, Bryn, why don’t you take off early? I’ll finish doing the inventory and help anyone else who comes in.”

“I was just about to quit due to being overworked. Damn. Maybe next week.” Bryn winked at her again. They shared a laugh.

Thankfully, she was joking. Y/n made sure her employees were happy, because she knew better than anyone what it was like to have the world’s shittiest boss. Bryn and Ollie were both training people, too, who seemed just as capable as they were. Y/n really did feel useless most of the time. She didn’t even really get to fill in for either of them much anymore.

Which probably explained the uptick in her…other nighttime activities.

After Bryn left, y/n busied herself doing what she’d promised while simultaneously checking her phone every thirty seconds. Next door, the noise of the crowd slowly died down. A couple of people came in to sleep for the night, so y/n left them and went back to her office, telling Ollie goodnight as he left. She checked in with the security team before locking herself in her office.

The hours slowly ticked by. The bad feeling in her gut grew worse.

It was almost four in the morning when Bruce finally texted again. She’d dozed off on the small couch in the office and woke with a jolt at the chirp of her phone.

The dark circle emoji greeted her. About to head out.

She was back at the Batcave within fifteen minutes.

She flipped on the news first, then the feed for Bruce’s lens.

“This isn’t good,” Bruce said in her ear a couple of minutes later.

“What is it with this city and fucking mayors?” she cursed. First Williams, now Mitchell. She hoped this Bella Real lady proved tougher than she looked, because Gotham apparently had it out for anyone in the position. So if she won the election–however that worked with her competition now dead–y/n hoped the woman spent extra on security.

“Serial killer, maybe. Sadistic at the very least, if he doesn’t kill again,” Bruce said. She could hear a clamor around him. On the screen, she watched him watch a growing crowd from a distance.

Behind her, GC1 announced breaking news.

“He left me a card,” Bruce continued as the anchors announced the death of the mayor. There would be a press conference shortly. The press conference setup was what he was watching. “To the Batman.”

Y/n’s heart stopped again. “He–for you?”

“It was a riddle. I’ll show you when I get back.”

She cursed quietly as she watched two different perspectives of the press conference as dawn rose around Gotham.

Not good. This was not good at all.

She really had a bad feeling about this. Something was brewing in Gotham, and Batman was at the center of it all.

Next Chapter

taglist:

@pop-rocks-and-skittles @calumspupils @n1ght5h4d3-24 @keepingitlokiii @11mb0 @illicitghosts @cat-purrsonified @blue-aconite @junggoku @ohheyitsrowan @angxlictexrs @glowexe @avengersgirllorianna @brynhildrmimi @takeyour-pants-off @twilightdollie @p-writes @lady-x-red @xingqiusliegee @scxrletwitches @justine-en @philiasoul @srryxmate @thecherrybombcom @minstens @call-me-nayo @cosmicbreathe @deadflowerd @iimawinchester @ventila98 @thecraziestcrayon @blossomedfloweroflove @dcgoddess @nautixa @wordsinwinters @leastlikelytoachieve @slutforblueeyes @pajerita19 @marvelsangels @leiaofthestars @lwtmonster91 @vellania @uncle-eggy @goldbvtton @angelsarecallin @rockagurl @zaminoo @saraallisonphylips @zzzvoid @moonyinthestars @wondergal2001 @livvvmp4 @lexydoodles @lauftivy @clarebear66 @marchingicenotes7 @hazel-light @eoz-stuff @moongarcia @normatural @plaidstiel-wormstache @tembo-ndoto @that-girl-named-alex @lokigoeschoki @johnmurphys-sass @moonlighttfoxx @earthgirl616 @acceptedbyace @sinkin7pm @vi0letblu3s

#bruce wayne x reader #battinson x reader #battinson fic #the batman fic #the batman x reader #batman x reader #the batman imagine #bruce wayne imagine #batman imagine #battinson imagine #the batman #the batman 2022 #battinson #robert pattinson #bruce wayne #shadows in the night #sitn #always forgetting tags tbh

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mouseratz · 1 month

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tagging game! tagged by @yarboyandy

-three ships

uhhhh. Off the top of my head. 1.lisacreature duh. the whole movie. they're not a healthy relationship but like they're fine they just destroy everything around them. i lurv it . also of fucking course I wanted a zombie boyfriend as a teenager. I won't lie to any of you

2. danbert bc gay people in my phone. classic case of toxic yaoi. so toxic I've been thinking about them for years. if only reanimator had like been gay on purpose we could've had it all

3. also based off of "what's in my camera roll". the evil scientists from mst3k are gay also. Dr Forrester and tvs frank.... is this even disputed. I don't care. I've known this since I was a child. "they're gay married and kill each other in looney tunes esque situations daily" feels like part of the character concepts.

-first ship

Inuyasha x Kagome, most likely. it's like one of the first obsessions I can remember where a show had like, a romantic throughline I cared about at all. although, to be fair, I was still mostly into the comedy and supernatural stuff, and this was Very Young.

-last song I listened to

youtube

I stumbled upon the tiny desk concert performance and well. I am not immune to popular things. chappell roan is pretty awesome. I love the videos and performances, but the pop music is also really solid, and I find myself enjoying it way more than expected. this songs good but I haven't listened to it a lot yet....my first time actually

-currently reading

Perry Mason and the Glamorous Ghost. I'm only like a chapter in. idk it was an impulse buy on my birthday because the cover was awesome. also pictured: my copy of Frankenstein. I read that in October. loved it

-currently watching

uhmmmm. still rewatching always sunny in Philadelphia. forever. watched a couple episodes of space ghost coast to coast earlier. I still want to keep watching twin peaks the return but I haven't because. idk. its hard to be me....

-relationship status

very incredibly single. it is very hard to date when u can't drive where I live. I mean it's hard in any circumstance but whatever shots I had are dust. would love to date sometime in my life possibly. I have been feeling that way for um. like four years now. so. we will see how that goes.

-current obsessions

Lisa Frankenstein, obvs.....my hobbies and such though? kind of in a slump. I've been like.....learning how to apply makeup for once for fun. I'm still very bad at it but idgaf it is what it is what's always made me uncomfortable about it was that it never "looked right" and I didn't want to be judged. instead of just treating it like a for fun thing. ie I want Colors On My Face I don't even cover up my acne atp. oh and the gender thing. like if I didn't do the makeup right I was being bad at being a girl. and now I do not have to worry about that at all.

-currently craving

like, food? um. I hope the brownies I made tonight taste good in the morning. I let them cool overnight so idk how they taste yet.

-favorite color

green, but I'm a big fan of what pink and black (I KNOW it's not a 'real color' IDC) and some shades of blue and yellow and orange have going on. I just like colors lmao

-tagging

hiiii I won't mind if you don't do it this is just a little shout-out okay :) @mahkari @jokeryuri @homokommari @mushroom-in-space

also anypony else who wants to do it can.....I won't be mad

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ellaenchanting · 1 year

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On Big Clangy Emotions and the Lack of Guidebooks

This came up in another context tonight so I thought I would write it all out.

When I was 18 I fell for a girl. Hard. I had experienced really strong friendship with girls before but none quite like THIS. I didn't understand what was happening. Queer representation was so rare in media and in my small town experience that I didn't have the mental framework to put together "crush" or "love" from what was happening. I just knew I felt really really intensely - wanted to be with her all the time, thought of her constantly, would make up all sorts of excuses to fall asleep on her dorm floor, etc. I thought of it as a really strong, soul bonded friendship. I didn't know what else to consider. I didn't really know how to manage something so unexpected and strong and unnamed. I didn't know how to have good boundaries, how to talk about it, how to avoid being creepy. I really tried to manage myself and my feelings but- at a weak point I kissed her. All hell broke loose. She dropped out of college the next day. All of our mutual friends soon stopped talking to me.

I haven't seen her since.

I don't know if knowing more about myself or more about what queerness could look like would have stopped any of that from happening. Maybe everything would have happened the same way regardless. I think of her occasionally and there's still pain there- like a tiny hook in my heart. A hook from a girl I haven't seen in over 20 years. A hook from a girl who is largely a made up facimile in my head by now. A girl who I hope never thinks of me. She never wanted there to be a hook and, if she knew about it, she definitely wouldn't want me to have it anymore. I try and wish her well when I think of her- imagine that she's happy and doing well.

I've been hooked a few times in doing kink. Mostly, like with the long ago girl, because I wasn't expecting it and didn't have a framework to really acknowledge or discuss what was happening- to know what to watch out for in myself. Also like with the college girl, it's happened entirely with people who didn't mean to hook me- people who meant kindly and would take their hooks back immediately if that were in their power. People who couldn't have known I'd react so strongly because I couldn't have known I'd react so strongly. You can only know that from experience.

Part of having a weird and unconventional sexuality is having to figure this kind of stuff out way later than everyone else. Most people have their first big love (and the girl still feels like love to me) before they're 18. Even if they don't, there's tons of movies/culture/advice showing you what it's supposed to look like and how it's supposed to go. Most people have a really strong sexual component to those feelings that helps guide then- or push then- into knowing how they feel quickly and less ambiguously than my weird gray-aceiness whateveritis sometimes allows. Most people aren't finding new and expansive parts of their sexuality in their late 30s and 40s- tripping up over the same things that, if they were more normal, they might have been experiencing and learning to cope with when they were teenagers.

Through some bumps and bruises, I feel like I have a working model for what a healthy, casual kinky relationship looks like for me now - what boundaries work, what unspoken expectations are normal, what words apply only in context, etc. I wish I could pass that wisdom on to new kinky people- provide rules and boundaries and goal posts- but I don't know how because what I had to learn feels so individual. I can talk about mirror neurons and rapport and the potential love spell of looking too long into someone else's eyes and I know all of the things that are universal but - on some deep, unconscious level they still feel like a traps that only I will fall into.

I guess now I'm just better at choosing my traps- and controlling how fast and how far I fall. Being caught can be really exciting when you're prepared for it- and you've learned how to catch yourself if need be.

I don't know if any of you out there can relate. If you can, I hope reading this brings you some comfort. I hope writing it does that for me.

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ilovescaredysquirrel2 · 1 year

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My top 5 bird-themed movies because why not

Okay, you guys I'm very excited about Illumination's new movie "Migration for a ton of reasons, but the main reason is that I love ducks. I'm personally, as a Chicken Run fan, NOT excited about Chicken Run 2 because I feel like they're going the wrong direction with it. Getting a new director, firing most of the old voices actors, and then Netflix taking over the ownership? No thanks! I'll still give it a try though. Here are my top 5 favorite bird themed movies, and why

(Chicken Run, 2000) I love this movie mainly because of the message and the fact that it tackled some heavy subjects in a family friendly way. The humor is really well done, like most DreamWorks movies, and the voice acting is amazing! I don't recommend it for children as much, but I'd say the age rating to start watching, is maybe 10-12 or older? It's a bit dark but it's still a beautiful movie and there's a character that almost everyone can relate to!

(Storks, 2016) Okay, this one is more for children and family, but has a few subtle jokes that mostly adults will understand,. I personally think it still has an amazing message about the lives of people come before objects and also that family isn't always birth given, adopting kids they're still family. And of course, the characters are very fun and adorable. Compared to most teen-young adult girls in animated movies, I really love Tulip's design. They don't make her too "sexy" but still make her look cute, she dresses plain, and she's a total goofball. I personally love seeing more female characters like that.

(Rio, 2011) You guys know this one's a cult classic! My mom and I loved this one a lot and were sad when Disney shut down BlueSky Studios. The movie is still incredibly underrated, although it has a strong fanbase of 2000s-early2010's kids! The music in the movie is incredible, the visuals and scenery is gorgeous, and it actually makes you want to travel to Rio! I feel like they tried to show the culture in the best way they could, even though I'm not an expert, they did it in sort of a subtle way, but still enough that it makes you admire it!

(Duck Duck Goose, 2018) This is an adorable and underrated movie for the family, even though the villain may be a bit scary at times! I love how it focuses mostly on the animals, I love when movies focus mostly on the animals to the point that you forget the humans are there, but they still do show humans sometimes. The humans don't have like, speaking lines or anything. Also, the characters are adorable! Peng's character really reminds me of Rocky from Chicken Run, but a little more childish and care free. A better comparison to Peng would be Otis from Barnyard, at first he acts like he wants to party all the time, but then learns to become a man by the end of the movie. The ducklings, Chi and Chao, are so adorable! Chi's a very loving and helpful big sister, and she's voiced by Zendaya! Also, Stephen Fry voices one of the crane brothers (or maybe they're gay cranes? I have no idea...). The voice acting and characters are so amazing in this movie, and the scenery is also so gorgeous! The humor is also on point, and you'll love the little squirrel character! I also think this movie is good for maybe 6 and up, depending on how used to movies the kid is. My 6 year old self didn't have that kind of attention span yet but some kids are different. Anyway, I just consider it a good movie for the whole family!

(Ploey you Never Fly Alone, 2018) Okay, this one can be a bit sad but also has a pretty good story. I'm personally not too comfortable with kids having love interests in movies/shows, like kids that are younger than teenage. Because they're birds and have no confirmed age, you can feel however you want about the Ploey and Ploveria relationship. I'm only uncomfortable about it because they both sound young and it wasn't much time after Ploey hatched from an egg when they met, but again, they're birds. It's still a beautiful movie with fun characters and really talented voice acting! I put it at the bottom of the list because it's not one of my first choices, but I haven't seen it in a while. You may have different feelings about it. I think i recommend this movie more for 10 and up, it does have some emotional moments though. It's not really funny or anything either, so I don't recommend it for parties or family movie nights. If you love bird themed movies and have a friend who does, it's something nice that you can watch together when you're not busy.

I hope you like the movies I recommended, and let me know what you think in the comments! I love to chat!

#duck duck goose movie #movie recommendations #top 5 bird themed movies #rio movie #chicken run movie #chicken run #duck duck goose #duck duck goose netflix #anime recommendation #non disney #non disney animated movies #bird movies

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all-soul-crossover-comic · 4 months

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BIIIGG ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL SOUL!!!

I know I haven't been posting much, but trust me, it's for a damn good reason. That reason being...

I'm making a webcomic!!! An original one! This is amazing! (For me at least.) I haven't really felt anything with my past stories aside from this one because they've always had to be something, and I could never figure out how to get from point A to point B in a "respectable" way. (That way being with no fun or whimsy or glitter and sparkles). It's been occupying my brain just as much as All Soul usually would. So much so that I might either leave all soul off here or write the chapters exclusively in text. Script form, of course. Descriptive writing isn't my strong suit, I've realized...

I'm still working out the details of the story but it still feels like that all soul thing where a lot of different lore from different things are mixed and matched. A bit from kaiba, a bit from moomin. That sort of thing. I'm trying not to give too much away in case I either end up dropping it due to lack of motivation or the story changes drastically, but I can confirm that it shares a lot of DNA with All Soul (due to them having the same mother lmfao) so if you liked this, you might like my future original work! I'm really excited about it and worldbuilding has been so fun, and I haven't been so invested in writing since I started with the basic concept of All Soul 7 years ago. I think about it often still, just not in the way I used to, yk? Like I finally feel content with just having it live in my head again. It doesn't need to be a whole thing, it doesn't need to be like that one loud house fanfic that gets updated every few hours and has more than 1000 chapters.

More about the webcomic

My plan isn't set in stone (mostly because that's the only way to go assure that I won't complete anything at all) but I plan on releasing it on webtoon canvas, tapas, or Tumblr itself! Will she go to boarding school or will she stay in public school with her older sibling? Find out in about a year from now!

That's right! It's January, and i said a year! I plan on using 2024 as my sort of planning phase. I don't want to rush into this like I did in the past with my other abandoned projects. I hope to reveal the main plot for it in at least a few months, if I don't forget. It stars a female protagonist (because I can only read books or watch movies about womengirls or I get so bored that my brain functions start slowing down and my eyes start rolling into the back of my head), and that's pretty much all I can say! It features a straight romance because I love prettyboys and none of you can stop my teenager brain from being attracted to men, and borrows a lot of worldbuilding things from Winx Club. I hope I can share it with you all soon! See you all next time!

If you wanna maybe see some of the details about it sooner, or just see what else I got on my mind, follow my main blog, @eepop-stuffs .

#fan comic #crossover #all soul crossover comic #original webcomic #webcomic

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irondad-defensesquad · 1 year

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just some thoughts i have on (mcu) toomes.

i saw a video of a channel i really admire pointing out that most mcu antagonists genuinely want to make the world a better place, mostly in terms of oppression like racism and social inequality. but suddenly the villains act completely out of character, usually by killing a lot of people or causing unnecessary destruction and chaos. and all of that is likely done on purpose because you're supposed to side with the characters who defend the system, who defend the status quo, so the antagonists who actually want to change things are seen as evil for it.

i can agree with all of these points. but then the video showed toomes' speech and basically said that he's right. and this isn't the first time i've seen folks agree with toomes, because he criticizes the powerful rich people that exploit the small ones like peter and himself. but since peter is close to tony stark, everyone claims that mcu peter has "betrayed" his own social class.

okay. my thoughts.

toomes is a family man, an ordinary worker, true. but from the very beginning, he's completely on board with selling alien weapons that are incredibly lethal. dare i say, toomes is a lot similar to walter white: two white, middle class family men that resort to the criminal world so they can provide for their wives and children. however, their gigantic ego is what drives them further and further into crime, so they no longer hesitate to commit atrocities such as killing people who get in their way. in the end, walter admits that he did all that for himself, not for his family. i know toomes is not as awful as walter, of course, but they're very alike in terms of backstory and motivations.

to emphasize: toomes does not hesitate to kill people. he killed one of his own crewmates, but even if he claims he thought the weapon wouldn't actually vaporize the guy, toomes doesn't feel one smidge of regret. he just shrugs and moves on (the moment is played for laughs even).

but most importantly, toomes tried to kill a fifteen-year-old teenager. his whole dad speech wasn't actually genuine, toomes was just preparing to drop the entire warehouse on peter. also, do people forget the scene where he talks to peter in the car while holding a fucking gun? he uses the whole family speech here, too. "nothing is more important than family". he lets peter go, but he also threatens to kill him and everyone he loves in case peter tries to stop him.

that's toomes' entire character! at no point in the movie does he act out of character; he's always been an egocentric dick that uses his family as an excuse, even if he does love them. he's not a good guy, he has never been a good guy.

but the issue here is that people take toomes' speech out of context to prove that he's correct and that peter is an idiot or a bootlicker for not siding with him. except peter doesn't fight toomes because of tony, he fights toomes because that's the right thing to do. because toomes is a criminal that is willing to do anything for his own benefit, not caring at all about any lives lost to him and his weapons.

again, i agree that the mcu is a huge police and military propaganda that demonizes activists who fight against them. i agree that most mcu antagonists deserve better. but toomes is not the case here. his speech isn't genuine. he's willing to kill a teenager and everyone else to keep his business up. you guys take out the context to make him look great, and to hate on mcu peter.

you can have your grievances with the mcu, like i do myself. still, toomes is not a guy to look up to, and peter is not a bootlicker. you can stop distorting the whole movie now.

#lotus speaks #spider-man: homecoming #homecoming #adrian toomes #mcu peter parker #pro mcu peter parker #ranting #(if you happen to find the video i mentioned)#(please don't send hate to them)#(they still have valid points despite this one thing)#also clowns will be blocked on sight

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secretgamergirl · 10 months

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All the seriously queer stuff in the back half of Sailor Moon

In case it wasn't obvious when I released a little mini-RPG a few months ago where you basically play as the villains, I've been gradually making my way through the entire run of Sailor Moon for the past year or so. Specifically I'm watching the 2014 Viz dub that covers all 200 episodes, trying to be as faithful as they can with it. It's been a really interesting experience, since I absolutely watched the old DiC dub back in the day, saw a fansub of one of the movies around the same time, and heard plenty of things about the missing seasons (particularly the infamous "cousins" thing from the Cloverway dub) over the years, and now I have all the context. And the context gets really shockingly overtly queer, turns out!

So first, let's just all get on the same page with the English language localizations of Sailor Moon over the years. Back in the 90s, Sailor Moon aired… well everywhere, with the English language version being a dub from DiC, which I will go to my grave defending as probably the best dub of anything I can think of. Fantastic casting all around, changes to the soundtrack that were actually for the better (keeping all the melodies but recording new versions that… aren't optimized to sound show-perfect when recreated by the cheapest sound generators one can shove in a toy, plus some original songs shoved into a few episodes). They did make some edits/cuts, but pretty minor ones, especially compared to the complete reworkings most anime of the era went through when coming to American TV, and I'm still not used to Luna not being prissy and British here.

That dub only lasted up through the second season. Past that, there was a dub of seasons 3 and 4 from Cloverway, which had some really questionable performances, and is where the infamous "they're cousins" bit came in. This also aired on TV in some places, but didn't have nearly the same omnipresent distribution as the DiC seasons (… and now I'm feeling old as I ponder whether to explain how local TV affiliates did their own thing back in the broadcast days). Then in the early 2000s there was a DVD release from Pioneer with cut/uncut versions of everything, apparently, which may or may not have recycled those dubs. I don't really have the energy to track that down, specifically. Anyway all the rights expired, gathered dust forever, then Viz picked it up and did this new faithful localization, and it took me about a decade to spot it on a streaming service.

So we've got 5 seasons, 200 episodes total, and a hell of a lot of formulaic structuring here. Every season (or half a season) we've got some main villain with an evil plan we may or may not get any details on, and some small number of underlings who then take their 5-10 episode long turns pursuing their goal in a way that inevitably generates monsters of the week, and meanwhile every season we have another conflict on the good guy side where someone is trying to locate some special person and ignoring the 50 or so obvious signs which main cast member it is while the audience gets frustrated. Oh and each individual episode has the same rigid structure of everyone getting caught up in some wacky teen trend, then there's a monster, they transform and fight a bit to no real end, then Sailor Moon gets around to using a finisher because that's literally the only thing actually capable of ending a fight. Honestly it's less "formulaic TV writing" and more like some sort of daily meditation. No way in hell I'd be able to sit through all of it if I had to look at the screen the whole time. This is background viewing while I work. Oh and I'm assuming everyone has at least enough passing familiarity to understand that if I say the name of a planet I'm talking about a teenage girl who's the reincarnation of some sorta magical girl/sentai squad member.

Season 1 has pretty gay vibes in places, but MOSTLY there's plausible deniability for all of it. We spend about half the season just establishing the characters of Moon Mercury and Mars, then quickly bringing in Jupiter and playing it up like a big shocking reveal for Venus. There's also a bunch of relationship drama between Moon, Tuxedo Mask, and the guy who runs the local arcade that she has a crush on and spends a while thinking is actually Tuxedo Mask instead of his actual identity of uh… a college-aged guy we're saying is the destined love interest of this 14-year old girl he's frankly pretty abusive towards. So, a lot of straight nonsense there. Meanwhile the evil queen's got these 4 generals, two of them are plainly dating, and no matter how you slice it, that's pretty overtly queer, but there's a valid argument to have over how we actually should slice it.

I was aware at the time that the DiC dub just ran with Zoicite here being a woman, making this a straight relationship, and I kinda figured they did a bit of tweaking and editing to hide that this was actually one of those bishonen types who were popular at the time who happened to be gay. Honestly though, watching it through a modern lens, it is REALLY hard to not just see a woman here, even when we're throwing he/him pronouns around. Like, if I'm handling a new dub, I'm just going to say Zoicite is a trans girl, who I'm at least headcanoning as being out for years, on HRT, and at that point where she can put on a suit designed for a man and nah that's a woman wearing a suit. Kinda just wraps around and makes me appreciate the old dub's handling more than the new one.

Season 2 (or R) doesn't really give us anything to work with, if I'm honest. There's probably some gals-being-pals energy amongst the main cast here and there. That's kind of always low-key present, especially with Jupiter, who has the whole big tough girl who wears long skirts thing sorta gay energy, and I want to say she ends up going to a dance with Mercury somewhere early on because one of them can't find a date otherwise.

But, we've got this filler arc with two dark elves in a tree who just kinda both hit on everyone of the opposite gender while the main cast sits in a holding pattern, then we get a proper villain squad not really getting enough spotlight time to have much of anything going on, and this whole weird thing where Moon and Mask's annoying toddler comes back from the future to… brainwash Moon's parents into thinking she's their daughter, and then she gets turned into an evil adult, and there's this whole bit about her having some sort of grim reaper/time guardian as a nanny (this is Pluto, the outer planets really have different things going on)… but again, mostly straight/cis flavored nonsense.

Then suddenly here comes season 3 (or S, pronounced "Super" which makes things real confusing), from a director who would later go on to create Utena, and in addition to just being the single best season of the series for a number of other reasons, everyone is canonically into girls now! It's shockingly overt about establishing that too, and reiterating the point several times.

It all gets started with Uranus and Neptune showing up. We kind of have this three faction conflict this season, where there's a proper main villain and squad of monster making minions, but then there's also this overtly queer power couple whose goal is basically to check out the "pure hearts" monsters of the week keep ripping out of people because they need to check them for these three macguffins they need to… reform the holy grail of all things to give to their leader they're too oblivious to know is actually Moon.

More importantly though, aside from making it abundantly clear that these two are banging every night, they have this very open relationship where Neptune is more than cool with Uranus hooking up with any given girl she's inclined to, and/or grabbing gals for threeways. And like, this isn't me taking a broad interpretation of things, it's weird how directly they just come out and say this. The other thing we have going on is that Uranus is just, like, the butchest of the butch.

Literally everyone just assumes she's a guy when they first meet, and quite a few people go into serious denial when corrected on the matter. And she kinda tends to react to all the misgendering with the sort of bemused nonchalance that makes it pretty easy to read her as actually being nonbinary. I swear there's an episode where she clarifies she's not a guy with that particular sort of emphasis suggesting that doesn't necessarily narrow things down to just "girl," too. And apparently Crystal actually DOES bite the bullet and flat out state she's nonbinary (or at least "both male and female"). That's cool, but there is no way in hell I'm going to sit through Crystal.

Anyway, point is, everybody wants to hook up with Uranus. Everyone. There's a whole episode where the power couple straight up takes Jupiter out on a date, the rest start gossiping about her being out on a date with two girls, everyone starts off shocked, then someone clarifies who it's with and everyone's like "oh, well yeah then I'd take them up on that too," with a little extra push back from Mars before she gets called out as trying to stay in the closet when she's clearly got a stash of photos of hot girls in suits.

This of course really makes me wonder about that Cloverleaf dub and why they went with that whole "cousins" thing to avoid addressing the overt queerness here, instead of taking the same approach DiC did of just making Uranus a guy. This would technically introduce the problem of having a guy in a miniskirt for fight scenes, but, eh, that'd be easier to edit around than you'd think. Uranus generally enters a fight scene pre-transformed firing an attack off from offscreen, arguing with the core cast a little, and leaving. Attacks are stock animation you can drop in anywhere, so that much is easy enough to chop out or replace with Neptune's attack. I don't know how one would even begin to cut around all the overt gay stuff though.

Nothing especially queer going on with the evil side of things. The villains are kind of amazing but too career oriented for relationships. I guess just for the sake of giving full context for the seasons most people haven't seen and fill in the obvious hole in the roster I can mention the eventual deal that the little goth girl Chibi-Usa spends the season hanging out with turns out to be the main villain's daughter, Sailor Saturn, and kind of the antichrist? Like I said, the outer planets aren't just cast expansions, they really have their own stuff going on. She also dies and reincarnates, doing so the long way where she sits the next season out being just a baby, which once again begs the question of whether when everyone dies at the end of the first season they just kinda magically come back to life with missing memories just as a temporary thing for a filler arc to play with or they really dd all reincarnate and have new families a decade and change later. Weird that that never got firmly pinned down.

Anyway though season 4 (AKA Super S, which is pronounced "Supers" and now you see why I prefer just numbers)… sucks and you should skip it. No sense of stakes, no real character work, non-threatening villain, shockingly dull monster designs, no outer planets, an ending that just drags on for what feels like forever and has no payoff. The only things it has in its favor are the inherent absurdity that people are wondering if Chibi-Usa is like full-on dating Pegasus (yes, the horse) and Fish's Eye.

So we have two different miniboss squads this season, the latter of which is a quartet of permanent-child acrobats working for the impressively titled if boring in practice Dead Moon Circus, preceded by three animals-turned-into-humans-by-a-witch with a weird What-you-originally-were's Eye naming scheme. Two of them are just dull slutty guys, but Fish's Eye is plainly and overtly a trans woman, and gets something of an arc about being willing to give up her own humanity for the greater good. It's a shame she's stuck in the practically unwatchable season, but at least she's on the REALLY short list of major villains who gets to have a happy ending. Usually even when someone has a nice redemption arc with the power of love and friendship they still get bumped off by another villain.

Different localizations have done different things with her. Some go "crossdressing gay guy" some just say she's a woman and leave her transness out of it. The 2014 localizaton is pretty unambiguous about though, so, that's really nice. Casting could be better, but still.

Then finally we come to season 5 (Sailor Stars), which I think is even more queer than season 3 was, which is really saying something, and was also directed by someone who would go on to helm another girly show with a serious case of The Genders, Ouran High School Host Club. Structurally it's a bit weird, because the first few episodes are just straight up taking a mulligan on the terrible finale of season 4, this time with the outers in (Saturn hyper-ages back to her standard 10 or whatever and gets a bunch of inexplicable knowledge and memories which is cool but never really paid off), the main villain doing something, and as a shocking rarity for the series, this whole mini-arc where characters are broken into pairs of one inner one outer and get to bounce off each other in a way the series frustratingly usually never does.

More importantly though, at least for this post's purposes, basically the first scene of the season is Uranus and Neptune having a flirty exchange ending with something along the lines of "let's save the pillow talk for when we're actually in bed together later tonight," which sort of sets the tone for just how blatantly these two are talking about their extremely active sex life in no uncertain terms, out in public. Some of the other characters are a bit weirded out by their complete lack of filter, but hey whatever.

The real proper start of the season though has our core cast finally starting high school, once again reminding us that everyone is at LEAST 4 years younger than everything about their designs, interests, and handling of responsibilities would indicate. This also reminds us how deeply creepy the Moon/Tuxedo Mask relationship is, but fortunately he hops a plain to America and is straight up out this season, and as an added bonus Chibi-Moon finally goes back to the future. Before you get too excited she IS shortly replaced with an even younger, barely verbal new mystery gremlin called Chibi-Chibi whose existence nobody can account for, but at least she's actually cute and not akin to the baby from Dinosaurs. More importantly though, as the girls enter high school they end up in a class with the titular Sailor Stars, AKA The Three Lights, AKA Fighter Maker and Healer, a popular boy band who are also a new mysterious set of Sailors with what I assume are intentionally quite confusing gender shenanigans in play.

Normally, they are hot lanky boys, boastful about their masculinity to the point of it bordering on misogyny, but also super super femme, with earings, hair down to their ankles, and very noticeably female VAs in both Japanese and English. Then when there's a fight they're very plainly hot lanky girls in bikinis and one of them has an attack shouting "Star Gentle Uterus!" before hitting a monster with a glob of liquid to a disgusted reaction. And their transformation sequences (and bikinis, and some shirtless scenes) make it absolutely crystal clear that yeah there is some magical reconfiguring of their bodies when making the switch. The show pointedly avoids elaborating on what the deal is past that in terms of which they form they started with/feel more comfortable in/why they switch it up/etc. which would normally frustrate me as one of those Schroedinger's Queer Rep situations, but I very much get the impression that we're going for intentional confusion and ambiguity in service to a general message that if you're into someone you shouldn't have hangups about their gender or what it says about your own sexuality and just kind of accept your feelings and them as a person and I am pretty OK with that.

youtube

The cast is too. Mercury Mars Jupiter Venus and for good measure Luna all kinda spent the entire season fixating on how to hook up with any/all of The Three Lights, meanwhile at basically any moment there isn't a fight scene or some plot exposition happening, Fighter is VERY ACTIVELY pursuing Moon in a sexual fashion, with pretty overtly stated tension before damn near every commercial break over whether this is going to be the scene where Sailor Moon gets absolutely railed by this maybe-genderfluid pop star from another world. And I have to just say as a brief aside that while we obviously never go there, I kinda wish we did? Tuxedo Mask is WAY too old to be dating someone Moon's age, even if we do the thing where we just add 4 to everyone's stated age. Plus he kinda treats her like absolute garbage for the whole show, and even when they're in a more wholesome mode the whole thing feels toxic and messed up. Meanwhile Fighter here is literally the same age, clearly into her, and beyond the one character flaw, an actual decent person. Though again, really damn forward. Still beats the hell out of the guy in college dating a middle schooler, and kinda flirting with his own prepubescent future-daughter.

There's also this huge confrontational thing between Fighter and Uranus, where it's slightly unclear if Uranus is being protective of Moon, violently jealous because Neptune is totally and surprisingly overtly open to hooking up with anyone from this boy band too, or just kinda trying to defend her position as the hot androgynous badass who swept into town with the intent of hooking up with every girl in the zip code eventually. Meanwhile Fighter thinks Uranus is a kind of toxic macho dude and really questions the whole "she's not a guy" thing, which is, you know, interesting. Pluto never really weighs in on this because… Pluto kinda lives outside of time and space and has maybe 8 minutes of real screen time in the entirety of the show.

Past that, we've got a bunch of other gay stuff too! We're back to cranking the general queer energy of the core cast up past the point of plausible deniability with regards to each other and a random girl trying to pass along a love letter with some confusion as to who it's for. It also bears mention that when the full deal of the new characters and their gender flipping comes to light, Jupiter makes an active point of making it clear that she is still 100% down and like, hey, I already knew you were the least conflicted of the bunch about how bi you all are, but I appreciate the active refutation of transphobia is still cool. We've got an honestly adorable pair of villains where one is frankly such a bimbo she's completely incapable of doing the evil general thing on her own or preparing her own food, and her hyper-competent girlfriend helping her out while also having to come up with cover stories because they're supposed to be pitted against each other. They'd definitely get a nice happy ending in one of the even numbered seasons, especially once it's made clear that they're very much being coerced into the evil stuff/taking things down from the inside, but… yeah this season ends up going super dark.

I don't want to totally get into how absolutely pitch dark the big 8-part series finale gets and spoil the hell out of it since if it wasn't clear, the odd numbered seasons are all really good stuff you should watch on your own, plus this one has a bunch of genuine twists, but I have to get into some of it in my mission of explaining how gay it all is. Consider yourself warned.

As happens kind of a lot in Sailor Moon finales, the bulk of the season 1 cast gets killed off once the main villain steps in to start getting her hands dirty, but here it's early enough on in the arc for Moon to really process it and give it the weight that maybe it'll actually stick this time. In particular of course she's worked up about Tuxedo Mask turning out to have died off camera at the start of the season (the impression to that point being that he's too distracted with a trip to America to check his messages or maybe just straight up ghosted her), but then almost as broken up over losing Mars, because yeah, those two in particular actually end up with a surprising amount of low key romantic tension between them by the end of things.

Then once it's time to get the outer planets off the table, all four of them end up in a no-win situation against the villain, who does that villain thing of of offering them a choice of just being killed and having their souls ripped out to be made into new stars (this is kind of her whole thing, see), OR if anyone's up for it, they can switch sides, still get their souls ripped out to be made into stars, but given funky magic bracelets that allow them to stay alive, just, you know, corrupted by evil and acting as her new villain squad. It's actually established right before the last one gets vaporized that all her original henchgals are in fact the Sailors of other planets she forced into the same deal just before the last one gets vaporized for failure, making it that much tragic in retrospect that the cute competence-disparity couple didn't make it.

Anyway, Uranus and Neptune actually take the deal. Like, zero hesitation. Part of it is eventually explained as Uranus having enough faith that she's too into her girlfriend to be fully corrupted and might get a chance to sucker punch the villain with her own soul extractors (which she IS it just doesn't work), and failing that Moon'll probably swing some kinda deus machina (which is an admittedly safe bet, honestly). But another part of it really is just "yeah screw it, if I still get to be with my girlfriend I'll take being evil over being dead" and they really do go through with it and promptly murder their oldest friend and a very young girl. Don't let anyone tell you Sailor Moon is one of those power of love and friendship always triumphs sorta shows. I don't know that the power of love and friendship even ties the scoreboard if we tally things up over the whole series. Oh and the final final final showdown has a nude Sailor Moon with angel wings just trying to hug it out with the main villain, which I guess could also maybe be read as a bit queer.

So yeah. Sailor Moon. When you don't have a puritanical edit, it's queer as hell. Everyone's bi or non-binary-and-sapphic. Several different flavors of trans rep. Goes out on a note of not getting hung up on gender. All of this in a roughly 30 year old series now, aimed at young impressionable girls. … actually for that matter it's also a show aimed at girls with really powerfully horny monster girl designs all over the place. Possibly relevant.

Oh yeah, and maybe consider throwing me some money via Patreon? I can't actually cover next month's rent as things stand.

#sailor moon #queer #gay #lesbian #trans #nonbinary #genderfluid #positive representation #for real though it's really messed up that Sailor Aluminum Siren and Sailor Iron Crow in particular stay dead they deserved better #Youtube

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lonelywretchjervistetch · 1 year

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My DCCU Interlude: The Legion of Super-Heroes (Part 1)

Prologue: Long Live the Legion

This year, I've decided to give into my unending nerd urges (...nerdges?), and have been writing essays on how I would create a DC cinematic universe, similar to how James Gunn and Peter Safran have been given to reins to do the same. Except, y'know, they're talented nerds with extensive filmmaking and writing careers, and I'm...a nerd. BUT nevertheless, I've been jumping in headfirst, and honestly, I've enjoyed it.

Up until now, I've finished a series on Superman. And that was a lot, but it's nowhere near the end. In fact, Superman is a lynchpin for a particular corner of my DCCU, focusing upon space and the cosmic (unsurprisingly). The other two lynchpins are Batman (for street crime and down-to-Earth stuff) and Wonder Woman (for magic and mysticism), which shouldn't be too surprising. But while they would each launch segments of my DCCU that would involve multiple other films and projects, television series would also be involved with each hero, ideally. James Gunn is, of course, doing the same, and Marvel's been doing this for years now. So, when I had to think about a series associated with the Man of Steel that I would want to see...well, there's only one choice, really.

I am a huge fan of the Legion of Super-Heroes. They've had a shit-ton of incarnations over the years, in comics and in other media, for good and for bad. But the Legion is one of the first DC hero groups I faithfully followed, starting with the 2005Waid/Kitson Reboot run, which I still remember fondly. And the Legion is, of course, inexorably linked with Superman, as their first appearance involved them recruiting a teenaged Superboy into the group from the 31st Century. So, naturally, this was the FIRST group I thought of when I thought about a TV series. After the animated series is one of the best adaptations of its time period, especially in the second season.

But why talk about this now? I mean, I'm in the middle of my Batman series, so why interrupt that? Well, it's Legion of Super-Heroes Appreciation Week here on the ol' hellsite, so for those people who are fellow fans of the Legion, and also want to read the desperate rambles of a midly-obsessive and frustrated nerd, why not take advantage? I would contribute art to this, but my time is weirdly limited. I have drawn my version of Saturn Girl, though, so feel free to check that out if you want to. Anyway, lemme get into the mini-series here. Starting with one question...why not a movie?

Chapter One: Soap and Space

Let me preface this by saying...I don't like the 2023 movie. At all. Don't get me wrong here. It looks great, voice acting is quite good, and some of the character designs are stellar. But goddamn it, for a Legion of Super-Heroes project, they dropped the ball SO goddamn hard, in a lot of ways. Also, Mon-El...what the fuck have you done to Mon-El? God, that movie pissed me off SO hard the entire time...but I digress. Jest because I didn't like that movie, that doesn't mean a film based on the Legion is impossible. But I also think that it...doesn't really work as well as a TV series would.

The reason for this, in my opinion, is because of what the Legion is at its best: a soap opera and a space opera combined. One of the best things about the Legion is its setting and its members. During its height, the Legion was a massive team brimming both with interpersonal conflict (because, after all, we're mostly dealing with teenagers at first), as well as set amongst a wider sociopolitical interplanetary conflict that these guys are supposed to navigate amongst. It's Teen Titans...IN SPACE. That rules. It rules so hard.

One of the things that makes the Legion so very compelling is simply the fact that you get to know the characters, and their personal struggles. And given that most of these guys are aliens, despite how human they often look, those interpersonal conflicts are made even more complicated, and even more interesting as a result. A movie honestly can't balance all of that in a way that feels authentic to the Legion. The animated series technically did this, but still steered away from a lot of the soap opera aspect in lieu of making it more of an action series. And obviously, it's gotta be an action series...but it could and should be much more than that.

OK, what about multiple movies? Again, for a group as large as the Legion is, even making a franchise isn't exactly guaranteed to work for all of these diverse characters. And, uh, that's assuming you'd be able to MAKE a franchise. How many times have we been comic book films made with a franchise in mind, only to perform so badly that the entire idea is scrapped? So, no, we're not relying on a possible set of sequels. Instead, let's plan a story over the course of seasons, with each season of this series acting as a discrete story (just in case it gets cancelled prematurely).

OK, what about medium? Should it be animated or live-action? Well...I actually vote for the latter, IF the budget it high enough. Let's not skimp on the budget for a wide-sweeping space opera, if we can help it. But the, if that's a problem, then animated is a viable option. After all, it's worked before, and it can work again. The only caveat here, for both, is that we're aiming for a platform like HBO, or at the very least not the CW or a more public network. Reasons for this are because more money is available from HBO and such, and also because...well, frankly, we want a mature show of actual good quality. CW quality ain't gonna cut it, sorry.

OK, so we have a mature-leaning series of good quality, packed full of drama in multiple facets, with a large cast that the audience can follow and latch onto. Lastly, because each season is meant to be insular to a certain degree, there's an overarching plot for each season, which concludes with the season finale. Commonplace, obviously, but important nonetheless. With all of that out of the way, we should now talk about a few things here, right? Those things are:

Setting: Where is our series set, and what are the day-to-day struggles associated with the setting? Where is the Legion within this setting, and how do they interact with it? What notable people or forces can be found here and drive everyday existence?

Cast: This is a huge potential cast, so who are we primarily following when the series starts? For that matter, how large is the Legion when the series begins, and will that number change over the course of the first season? Who are the major characters, and can the Legion be put into groups that can be followed? And finally, what are the backstories and interpersonal relationships amongst the primary cast of characters?

Story: What is the main conflict over the course of the season, and who are the major players? What are the stakes as we lead up to the season finale, and how will our characters resolve it? How will this conflict change our characters or the setting, whether or not the characters actually solve the problem? And what other problems or consequences will result from this resolution?

And all of those things, frankly, are super goddamn basic in terms of storytelling, but still important to keep in mind as we go through the planned season. For each season, we'll assume 12 episodes, which is a reasonable number of episodes to assume per season. And before I start plotting this whole thing out, I'm gonna put together a brief synopsis to sum up the season 1 plans. Once that's done, I'll be going through the above three points one at a time, then looking at a potential future for the series. And if people are interested in more, I may just oblige that request! So...what's this theoretical season one about?

The 31st Century is a peaceful utopia on a knife's edge. Building tensions are bringing the United Planets close to dissolution, if not to outright war. This strife has led to conflict, and a lack of faith in authority across the cosmos, especially on the famously rebellious planet Earth. And amongst all of this, forces are trying to widen the gulf between civilizations that much farther apart. A group of young heroes, inspired by legends a millennium past, have stepped up to the plate, calling themselves the Legion of Super-Heroes. Learning to work together under difficult circumstances, the young heroes must navigate many threats.

Leader of the group Rokk Krinn struggles both with his compatriots, and also the difficult role of leader thrust upon him, while struggling to balance a life amongst all of the stress placed upon him. The silent Imra Ardeen works against culture shock, while also feeling a deep and profound duty to her home world of Titan, and a palpable distance from her responsibilities to that moon of Saturn. Garth Ranzz comes from a planet in economic strife, on the brink of leaving the United Planets. With his older brother and twin sister on different sides of the conflict, he must navigate both family and political strife, while finding his own path amidst conflict with Rokk and burgeoning feelings for Imra.

Newcomers to the organization are now navigating this new environment. Chief amongst them is Lyle Norg, a superhero enthusiast and brilliant teenage scientist who has given himself powers of invisibility. Tinya Wazzo is a highly connected young woman with her own responsibilities, a mysterious demeanor, and an agenda of her own to pursue. Luornu Durgo is an exile from her home, which she talks about very little, but still seeks to return to with her good deeds. And Elgar Degep, who comes to the Legion on recommendation from a secretive benefactor, claims to be a descendant of ancient Earth heroes, but hides a much more insidious secret.

This small and young group of heroes has many opponents to their success. The Science Police of Metropolis are wary of their presence, and their extremely ambitious leaders are in constant conflict with the heroes they see as vigilantes. Behind the scenes, a cult named the Dark Circle seeks to take advantage of the strife, driving criminals across the United Planets to strike against the police and the Legion alike. And beneath it all, corruption within the United Planets itself seeks to set the Legion up for a fall, influenced by a greater power beyond their understanding.

A rough synopsis, but believe me...I have ideas. So very many ideas. But I'll go into that further in future essays. So, if you're interested, stay tuned for more of that! And if you actually read this mess...honestly, thank you, I appreciate it. Long like the Legion.

See you in Part Two!

#loshweek #loshweek23 #legion of superheroes #legion of super heroes #legion of super-heroes #losh #dc #dc comics #dc cinematic universe #dccu #my dccu #my dcu #film ideas #tv show ideas

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cazperx-x · 1 year

Note

Hiya!! The name is 🇵🇱 Anon!! Its nice to meet ya!!

I have a little request for you!! I thought of this one, and i thought why not send it to someone so here i am!! but feel free to delete this anytime if its to intense but anyways…!

Could i request Eddie Munson or Gareth with a Famous! S/O? (Maybe… something like Elvis Presley Famous? Where girls are all over them, and etc, its from that movie, it was really good so i would suggest watching it so it makes sense and etc)

Thats it!! I can send more later on lol, but thats it!! Thank you :D

Im sorry it took me so long to get to this request, but i'm finally back in a writing mood!! Also i did not watch the elvis movie

Fame has its price

Gareth Emerson x Famous!S/O

Mostly fluff, but at the end kinda angsty? I might try and write something similar later but with Gareth as the famous one and it leans more heavily towards angst.

Warnings- cursing more towards the end, also at the end the reader gets "hugged" by an adult fan without consent- very brief though im pretty sure

1.4k words

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥁💀💀🥁💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Your laugh.

God it got him every time.

"Good night New York City!" You were announcing to your crowd of adoring fans, smiling through your sentence.

As long as Gareth could remember, music had brought you two together.

First time you met?

Kindergarten battle of the bands. Both of your practically clawed each others eyes out trying to get to the kiddie drum set. Who would've guessed that would lead to a 10+ year long friendship? Well, technically 12, but it's not like anyone was counting. Especially Gareth.

In middle school everyone in the crowd watched in awe as you sang your heart out during the school's talent show, obviously winning first place.

And there were times when Eddie even begged you to sing for Corroded Coffin, just one song. And of course when he couldn't convince you all Gareth had to do was ask once.

You would do anything for him.

Including convincing your agent to let Corroded Coffin open all your shows for your most recent tour across America.

Gareth's eyes darted back up to you on stage, looking around for the sign it was clear to make your way off while people tried to claw their way onto it. You were still smiling and waiving, but Gareth could see the tenseness in your smile.

But that was something to worry about another day.

Right now most of security was busy pushing teenagers and even some adults back from the stage. You tried your best to not visibly back away, but it was still necessary if you didnt want to be clawed at and pulled off the stage by strangers. Fame had its price, and a heavy one at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look Eddie, as much as I would love cheap, greasy gas station quality pizza at the moment, I really don't feel like being torn apart limb by limb for even daring to appear in public." You sighed, after Eddie had spent the last 15 minutes trying to convince you to go out with him and the band.

"Don't make me do it Y/N," Eddie warned, glaring at you.

"Oh you wouldn't dare." You glared back.

"Emersonnnnn, theres something I wanna ask youuuuuu!" Eddie shouted, before glancing at you and smirking.

"Don't believe a single word out of Eddie's mouth Gare! Its full of lies!" You shouted back.

Before you knew it Eddie was running out of the room you were staying in and practically slammed Gareth to the floor trying to get a hold of him.

"Ow! The fuck was that for?"

"You agree Y/N over here should treat themself to a little slice of commoners pizza before we have to get back on the road right? C'mon man all I need is for you to ask them once, hell not even ask ask, just allude to it and- "

Just then you ran into the room, out of breath.

"How the hell are you so much faster than me Munson?" You wheezed, hands on your knees.

"Too late Y/L/N! I've already asked my good pal over here too-"

"How about we have something delivered here and have a movie night?" Gareth cut Eddie off with a sigh.

"Hmph. Guess thats a good compromise." Eddie muttered, but still crossed his arms.

"See Munson? My amazing boyfriend can't be tricked by your lies and deception. And he's always looking out for everyone involved." You smiled, before hugging Gareth from behind.

"Anything for my lovely partner. It would be really inconvenient to have to stitch all your body parts back together after you get torn to shreds by an adoring mob." Gareth smiled, turning his head to look you in the eye.

"No one else I would rather have sew my body back together."

"And no mob could ever adore you more than I do." Gareth said, before leaning in to kiss you.

"Ew! Get a room you two, before I call the paparazzi." Jeff groaned, having walked into the room at a considerably awkward moment.

You rolled your eyes before turning to Eddie.

"So, what place are you gonna order pizza from?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wake up sleepy head." Gareth said, before nudging you a bit.

"I'm already awake." You muttered, but still didnt move from your position under the bed sheets.

"As much as I would hate to do this lovebug, if you dont move soon i'm gonna have to pull the covers out from over you, leaving you exposed to the harsh element known as the ceiling fan-"

You dramatically gasped. "I thought you loved me?"

"More than anything, but that does mean I have to do what is best for you sugar."

You groaned, but sat up.

"Is this good enough?"

"For now, but you know you'll have to get dressed soon enough. You sure you want to walk today and not just get a cab or something?"

"Yes Gare Bear I'm sure. It's not that long a walk anyway."

"Still don't get why the bus can't just pick us up here." He muttered.

"They say it would draw too much attention to the hotel."

"Yeah because us having to walk there wouldn't."

Gareth gave you one last hug before leaving the room.

~~~~~~~~~

"The great outdoors don't seem so great anymore." Eddie muttered.

You all were stopped on a sidewalk, on account of you practically being swarmed by fans to sign autographs and take pictures. Some people were even trying to seemingly jump on you, and others were clawing on your clothes just so you would turn their way.

Some people were talking to the Corroded Coffin boys, much to Eddie's delight and Gareth's annoyance, but you were definitely the star of the show.

You turned and gave Gareth an apologetic look that said 'I really did just want to take a walk' and he shook his head knowingly.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to wrap this up soon. Sorry guys but-"

Just then someone pulled you by the shoulder and by impulse you turned around, only to crash into what you realized was a man who was much bigger than you's torso.

"Um, excuse me sir- I-I don't know what you're trying to do here but-" You stuttered as you tried to wiggle free, not even being able to look around.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. That was the main thought going through your head right now.

"Hey, you're a real pretty thing huh?" The man started, cutting you off.

"How about y-" Before the man could even finish his sentence you found yourself being pulled free and arms wrapping around you tightly, but this time you welcomed the embrace.

"Listen here you sick little fuck. Does this get you off? Trying to kidnap underage musical sensations in broad daylight in front of witnesses and bystanders?" Gareth started, and you realized the rest of the band members were standing around you. You also realized most of the people that were there before for autographs and whatnot, had left.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll fuck off and never speak of this again. Or hell, even pay to get a ticket for one of their shows. Got it?"

"Yeah creep. 4 against one." Eddie chimed in.

You noticed the man say something under his breath, before quickly looking around and leaving.

You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

"A-are you okay Y/N? I swear to fucking god if anything bad happened to you on my watch I-I- I don't know what I'd do." Gareth let go of you and walked in front of you so you could look him in the eyes. You noticed he was on the verge of tears.

"I don't know Gare." You sighed.

"Do you wanna keep walking? Or just get a ride?" Jeff asked, concern in his voice.

Everyone was looking at you with worried eyes, but it didn't bother you as much as you would've thought it would.

Fame has its price sure, but you have people watching out for you.

Not just hired security guards, or brands who just want to make money off of you talent.

No, real people who know the real you, and really care.

Especially Gareth.

And you were okay with that.

"I think we can keep walking."

With Gareth's arm around your shoulder and Eddie leading the way, you all walked to the tour bus, prepared for your next destination.

And you had a sense everything was gonna be alright.

#gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson #gareth x reader #gareth stranger things #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #gareth stranger things x reader #st4

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rphelperblog · 2 years

Text

City of Ashes Book Quote Rp Meme

Second book in the Mortal Instruments series from Cassandra Clare- feel free to edit quotes or change pronouns

Usually I'm remarkably good-natured. Try me on any day that doesn't end in y.”

“Everything changes in my life, and the world stays the same.”

When you love someone, you don't have a choice. Love takes your choices away.”

"If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway.”

"You are mortal; you age; you die, If that is not hell, pray tell me, what is?”

“I never date anyone my cat doesn’t like,”

“He had become a monster. You just couldn't see it...because it wore the face of a friend.”

“Growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change “

“If you really love something, you never try to keep it the way it is forever. You have to let it be free to change.”

“I don't want to be a man, I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."

“I've heard the word 'fear'. I simply choose to believe it doesn't apply to me.”

“But if you can't tell the truth to the people you care about the most, eventually you stop being able to tell the truth to yourself.”

“You know how the bonds of family are, my lady... They cling as tightly as vines. And sometimes, like vines, they cling tightly enough to kill.”

“I love round tables. They suit me so much better than a square."

"Have you checked? I could kick him if you want.”

“Pain is only what you allow it to be”

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”

"I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt.”

"So you're just that friendly with everybody, is that it?”

"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.”

"Does he normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?”

"You want to kiss me, don’t you?”

"You can't wait for perfect behavior from everyone. Adults screw up too. Go back to the home and talk to her rationally. Be a man."

"I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."

"So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.”

“No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I do all sorts of bad things. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nuns.”

“Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?"

“It looks to me like you‘re using a wall to prop you up. that’s not my definition of ‘standing.’”

“I didn't say he was dating you, but funny that you knew just what I meant, isn't it?"

"I didn't betray you, idiot."

“Somebody's girlfriend, Somebody's sister, somebody's daughter. All these things I never knew I was before, and I still don't really know what I am.”

“It was like a bad movie except he didn’t actually twirl his mustache.”

“I was alive when the Dead Sea was just a lake that was feeling a little poorly.”

“Is he really waking us up at this ungodly hour just to prove his love to you or something? Couldn’t he have called? mundane men are such twits.”

you live in my head all the time”

“Pain is only what you allow it to be”

“Fate is never fair. You are caught in a current much stronger than you are; struggle against it and you'll drown not just yourself but those who try to save you. Swim with it. and you'll survive”

“I can only assume that mortal emotions amuse you because you have none of your own.”

He'd pick a fight with a Mack truck if the urge took him.”

"If I made a joke about just dropping in, would you write me off as a cliché?”

"He's terrified I'll tell everyone that he's always wanted to be a ballerina.”

“You might want to lie down, I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.”

"Mostly extinct is NOT EXTINCT ENOUGH."

you don't really get to choose your insulting nickname.”

"Sometimes he sits on the couch and does it.”

"I know. Everytime you almost die, I almost die myself.”

“There's no need to clarify my finger snap, the implication was clear in the snap itself.”

"He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons, Ignore him.”

“I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for him. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?”

"Why would I have a spider? Do I look like someone who would collect them?"

"You mean father. I despise this modern habit of calling one's parents by their names."

“I'm not sure there's such thing a thing as a normal life.”

“They confused beauty with innocence and harmlessness.”

"What I want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name."

“Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.”

Desire is not always lessened by disgust…And as my words bind my magic, so you can know the truth. If she doesn’t desire your kiss, she won’t be free.”

'I thought you could use the rest. Besides, you were sleeping like the dead. You even drooled,'On my shirt.'

"Honestly if you don't start utilizing a bit of your natural feminine superiority, I just don't know what I'll do with you.”

“You live in my head all the time."

“The next thing I knew I was listening to five people shouting. What was that all about, anyway?”

“I keep thinking about blood, I dream about it. Wake up thinking about it. Pretty soon I'll be writing morbid emo poetry about it.”

“Desire is not always lessened by disgust. Nor can it be bestowed, like a favor, to those most deserving of it. And as my words bind my magic, so you can know the truth. If she doesn’t desire his kiss, she won’t be free.”

“He'd felt like a jack-o-lantern for the past few days, as if his guts had been yanked out with a fork and dumped in a heap while a grinning smile stayed plastered on his face.”

"But you can pretend I did if it makes you feel better. So, first order of business is what?”

Because I foresee many romantic picnics in our future. You, drinking a virgin pina colada. Me, drinking the blood of a virgin.”

“Only mundanes say they're sorry when what they mean is "I share your grief,

“Because you’re lying to me. And you’re lying to yourself.”

“Don’t be with him, don’t want him, don’t go with him. Be with me. Want me. Stay with me. I don’t know how to be without you.”

“Sometimes you don't have to search out danger, sometimes danger finds you”

“Why does it take girls so long to shower?”

“Why should I tell you everything about how I feel when you never tell me anything? It's like banging my head on a wall, except at least if I were banging my head on a wall, I'd be able to make myself stop. “

"You always make me feel so welcome.”

“You are mortal. You age, you die. If that is not hell, pray tell me, what is?”

“I’m not unsympathetic. But do you like me? Because this being gay business doesn’t mean you can just throw yourself at any guy and it’ll be fine because he’s not a girl. There are still people you like and people you don’t.”

“When I was a little kid, I realized that if you say any word over and over fast enough, it loses all its meaning.”

“People fell in love, and lost, and moved on. He didn’t know why he couldn’t. He didn’t know why he didn’t even want to. All he knew was that whatever he had to owe to Hell or Heaven for this chance, he was going to make it count.”

“You have to give everyone ugly motives for everything they do, because ugly motives are all you understand.”

“Hate is nothing when weighed against survival.”

"And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour.”

“There's nothing wild about me. I'm a solid middle-aged man."

"Except that once a month you turn into a wolf and go tearing around slaughtering things,"

"It could be worse,men my age have been known to purchase expensive sports cars and sleep with supermodels.”

“To draw something is to try to capture it FOREVER, if you really love something, you never try to keep it the way it is forever. You have to let it be free to change”

“What you're blaming yourself for is being who you are. And that's no one's fault and nothing you can change.”

“I've screwed everything up royally. I remember you saying that growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change.”

“He will get through this, even if he thinks he won't.”

“Well, I hate to tell you this, but your friend is an asshole."

n that blond head of yours to find out the truth, I suggest you cool your temper. And I know just where you can do that best.”

“What they had between them was still as fragile as flickering candle flame, as delicate as eggshell - and he knew that if it shattered, if he somehow let it break and be destroyed, something inside him would shatter too, something that could never be fixed.”

“Not himself, who was more of a cross between a panther and a demented elf.”

“We seem to be trapped in an episode of One Life to Waste,”

“I can't believe you know someone named Freaky Pete,

“Don't you hate it? Not ever saying how you really feel?”

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