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ultralightpoe · 3 months

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Vigilante Shit - Bucky Barnes

Authors Note: Never liked this one which is why it stayed in the drafts fr so long, it just always seemed empty. It's definitely missing something.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Word Count:9,131

Warnings: Cuss words, reader was once apart of the red room

Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT.

Main Masterlist

Enjoy!

Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them

Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie

They say looks can kill and I might try

I don't dress for women

I don't dress for men

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

It’s the pity on her face that makes you want to claw her eyes out, or maybe the happy family photo sitting on her desk staring and taunting you with their stupid smiling faces. Each of her children smiled like nothing was wrong in the world, like they didn’t have to worry about earning their way or surviving the day.

Dr. Aquinos children would never know pain.

But that was a given, they weren’t bought and sold off. They weren’t tortured and abused for years only to be torn out when Natasha fucking Romanoff decides to free everyone from that chain and force them into the real world.

Did it make you pathetic to say you missed it?

In the red room you had a cot, a meal at least once a day and training. Out here you were no one. No trace of you existed. No ids, or photos, no friends or family. You were nothing.

Even ghosts had more than you at this point.

“You know it’s common to feel this way about it? That longing to have it back? It’s the pain and the change, you feel like you have nothing right now but I can assure you that’s not true.”

You say nothing.

“Have you given any thought to our last session?” The therapist asks, voice saccharine amount of sweet that tells you she knows your looking for a fight today and she won’t be giving into it. You hated that she knew you would try that, you hated these sessions all together.

“Yes.” Lie. And judging by the quirk in her smile she knows it too.

“I think it’s extremely important for you in this next step, to get rid of the suit. What was it they called you?” You don’t reply for a minute, your own little form of rebellion, but she doesn’t let you get away with it for long. “The…. Cobra?”

“The. Viper.” You bite out, grinding your teeth together and fisting your hands at your side. “The Red Viper to be exact.”

“Can you explain to me why it is you got that name? I mean your other counter parts all follow a …..widow theme….. but you don’t?”

“It just….. happened that way.” You lie. “How much longer do we have?”

Why did she not have a clock?

“Ah. So the story has something to do with Bucky Barnes.” She smiles and you fight back the sneer.

“Nope.”

“You always ask for the time when memories of him are brought up.”

Not. True. You don’t bother arguing because that might prove her point.

“Can you recall what he looked like?”

A flash of ice blue crosses your mind, his eyes. Followed by roses and ballet slippers. A small opening to freedom right there in your grasp, his smiling face….. replaced by that of betrayal, the pain and torture you suffered for weeks after because he-

“No.” You lie. “I only knew him as the winter soldier.”

“Have you tried reaching out?”

“No. And I never will.” Not until you were able to kill him, get your revenge.

Your therapist didn’t know about your revenge list though,she would have you imprisoned for it. The list of names of every mastermind and agent that did you wrong, and at the very end of the list was the one person you actually managed to trick you, the one person you gave everything you had left to.

Bucky Barnes would be the last person you killed in this life, and you would make sure to enjoy every second of it.

It’s not everyday they pull you from your training program and load you into a transportation vehicle, and you don’t know whether to be scared or excited by the change in routine.

You decide on excitement, because a widow is never. Ever. Scared.

The keepers transporting you all avoid eye contact and you bite back the smirk, knowing that you installed that fear when you bit the thumb off the last guard that tried to touch you inappropriately. You might be hydras toy but you were not a plaything for these half wits.

“Your mission will be in direct partnership with the Winter Soldat.” The agent in front of you explains, watching you load up your widow uniform with hidden weapons “there’s a list of names that needs to be taken care of, and it might take a minute so they are pairing you both. They want no mistakes, only the best.”

“No traces no trails. No chances.” You answer, already having it memorized, biting down on your tongue when you remember the poor girl you left as a witness to your last mission.

Hydra never found out, but her scared scream when she caught you killing her father will haunt you.

You wondered if you might have had someone to scream over at one point.

“He won’t speak to you so don’t bother.” The agent grunts as the vehicle comes to a stop and he slams his fist on the side to let them know it’s safe to open the doors.

They all cast you another look as you try not to roll your eyes at the drama. If you truly wanted out of this vehicle you could slaughter them all, you just knew that hydra would track you down no matter what so what was the point?

They lead you down hundreds of gray halls, each getting darker than the last and the smell of mold and desperation heightened with each step. Finally at the very last cell door they all raise their weapons and slide it open, muttering something in Russian before a figure emerges.

The glint of his arm catches on the shit light above you first, and then he is there, glowering and confused in the same go.

“Soldat. This is the widow.” His mentor speaks in Russian, gesturing to you which makes the soldier give you one look. That’s it. One brief look of disdain and he goes back to looking at the mentor like you weren’t even there.

This mission is going to go well.

“You’re making progress Bucky.” Dr. Raynor hums, her eyes glinting as she watches him over the pad of paper she hasn’t scribbled on in the past hour. He likes to think that it’s a good sign, but he also tries not to get into his own head about it. “But I’d like to go a little deeper if you’ll let me.”

“Don’t really have a choice doc.” He mutters, but his tone lacks the usual bite.

“Funny. Have you slept in a bed recently?”

“I’ve made it to at least 3 hours of sleep in my bed.” He nods, not mentioning he thought the laundry detergent smelled like your shampoo.

“You bought any home decorations? Anything at all?”

“There’s a welcome mat by the front door.”

“Inside or outside?”

“…..inside.” He wasn’t brave enough to put it out in the hall yet.

“I just want a house that has a welcome mat and that cookie smell. Something to call home.” Those were your words, whispered to him the night before the soldier…..

“Tell me what you have been up to lately.”

“Lunches with Yori….missions with Sam…. And I’ve been…. Trying to find someone.”

“Someone from your time as the soldier?”

“Yes.” His throat is tight and he might throw up.

“For revenge?”

“No…. Well she might want revenge…… I just want her.” He admits.

Dr. Raynors eyebrows shoot up, and she tries to keep neutral as she asks the next question. “The viper then?”

“She didn’t like that name.”

“How did she get it?”

“Me.”

“And what did you call her if she didn’t like the name?”

“Flower.”

I don't start it but I can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

So on the weekends

I don't dress for friends

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

The roof of the bagel shop on the stupid block you were on was probably the worst spot to be.

Best, if you’re focusing on the fact that it’s the perfect hideout for the sniper gun you are aiming and the fact that you’re able to lay at a slant so your legs don’t falls asleep while you focus.

Terrible for the fact that you could smell the pizza shop next door perfectly, and your stomach was beginning to rumble in hunger.

But you had to focus, your target was supposed to be in his apartment right now, Viktor Aubrel, the man that sold you in the first place.

Your intel told you he should have been home an hour ago and yet you were still waiting in the winter air that sent a shiver up your spine, too focused on the aim to realize the two figures now on the roof.

“Are the widows that oblivious now?” A deep voice laughs causing you to whirl, knife out as you spot none other than the winter soldier and the new captain america, both watching you.

It was the captain that taunted you, a sneer making its way into your lips as you prepare yourself to launch. The winter soldier extends a hand out, blocking the captain with a skeptical look.

“Sam. A little forewarning, she doesn’t fight like the others.” He mumbles and you all but hiss, not giving either of them a moment before you’re launching at them.

They track your movements well, both standing to fight as you run across the roof, jumping up on the ledge to give you the upper advantage and launch yourself at them. Starting with the easier target, the man with the shield. Wrapping your arms around his neck and spinning your body until you have his weight thrown in the air. He manages to catch himself standing but you’re ahead of the game, jumping so your feet are planted on his chest and shoving him off the roof right as the winter soldier gets to you.

“I don’t want to do this.” He mutters and you hiss again, lunging with a knife out, slashing expertly over and over as he dodges as much as he can. “You don’t need to do this.”

The knife catches in the elbow of his metal arm and his flesh hand comes up to grab your wrist so you twist, kicking his knee down and flick another knife from your uniform.

“I want to.” You mutter in Russian, voice dripping with disdain as you raise the knife and bring it down. Only to get blasted across the roof.

The air leaves your lungs as you skid across the concrete of the roof, splayed out staring at the sky and blinking away the pain.

“She’s quicker than the rest.” Captain America huffs, helping the soldier up.

“A lethal experiment. Taking a trained widow and injecting her with mutated blood of some guy named Logan Howlett.”

“Where does the viper come from?”

“Her knives are all laced with venom and poisons. One touch to your skin and it doesn’t matter if it was a fatal wound or not. You’re out.” You hear them both approach, pretending to be passed out before they get close enough and you can kick the soldier in the stomach. He catches your foot, twisting so your body would have to twist with it or break, but you’re already pulling out a knife and launching it at the other.

A shout of warning leaves the soldier's lips as the knife nearly gets his partner's thigh, you take this weakness and twist until you are wrapped around him and launching you both across the roof. But he is already working his way out, twisting so you slam into the roof once more, his metal arm on your throat holding you down as you claw at it.

Panic attacks your body, scratching at the metal as the captain comes into view.

“Stop. We can help you.” The man sighs.

“Y/n.” The soldier mumbles, eyes pleading. “Let us help-“

Your foot bends to smash into his jaw and send him sprawling back.

“That’s. Not. My. Name.” Your voice is scratchy from the choking and it hurts to talk, but you don’t have time since you’re already dashing to clear the roof.

But the captain throws his shield and hits your ankle sending you falling until Bucky catches you and twists you with his metal arm so your back was to his chest and he can hold you.

“It is. You told me so yourself. Remember?”

“I wanna see my life before all this. I want to see my family and tell them I’m alive. My name was y/n. I found my file and I just-“

You were disgusted that you ever told him such things.

“LET GO!”

“We can help with your list.” It’s the caption saying this, his face holding pity. “We can’t kill but we can help take them down. If you’re willing.”

“They all deserve to die!” The one holding you counted in that.

“I’m not arguing that. But I am setting boundaries. Justice by more death is not the way to do this.” The man tries to ease, attempting a smile. “I’m Sam. You already know Buck-“

“Let me go!”

“We’re proposing a partnership. We help you take them down, get them arrested and you don’t kill any of them.”

“Right. And I get thrown in a cell right after I’m assuming.” You sneer, trying not to focus on the scent of hazel and coffee coating your senses from the soldier.

“You will be pardoned. You had no choice back then and we are giving you one now. Pardoned.”

“And what do you mean by taking them down?” What choice did you have?

It had been a week with the soldier when he finally showed a small amount of emotion. Insane.

You had been huddled in the corner of the abandoned hotel you made camp in, keeping close to yourself for warmth as he pretended to sleep by the wall. You knew he wasn’t actually asleep, not trusting enough to do so. And you don’t know when he does get sleep, all you know is you fight to the last possible moment your eyelids can stay open and you don’t sleep long.

The exhaustion and the cold were beginning to wear you down, a week in and you had yet to kill a single person on this list because the Soldat refused to listen to how you can manage it. With him it’s all silent and watching, your missions were usually more lively. You wore disguises and set traps. Hydra liked sending messages and it’s what you did.

They want a quick and efficient widow? They send Belova. They want a widow that draws attention to their dangers? A prize possession? They send you.

Which is why this entire mission is so weird. Why send you if- before you can finish your thought you are being pelted with a warm jacket, the Soldat glaring at you.

“Your teeth chattering is keeping me up.” He mutters in Russian, sitting up and checking all his weapons.

“As if you sleep.” You reply back in Russian, rolling your eyes. His eyes flick to you in surprise for just a second before he trains them again, watching the window in the opposite corner. “What’s your name?”

“Soldat.”

“What’s your real name?”

“I….. should the viper be asking questions?” He snaps, glaring once more before you roll your eyes and stand up. He watches your every move as you toss his jacket back and cross the room. “Where are you going?”

“To be a viper.” You sneer back, enjoying the way the Russian makes the words bite out more.

He stands up quickly when you move to climb out the window but you send him a glare and descend quickly, making sure he does not follow.

When you get back three hours later, he is standing in the center of the room with his arms crossed and a glare on his features.

You simply walk past him to grab your list, crossing off the first name. “Can we get an actual hotel this time? I need to shower some of this blood off.”

As you move to walk past him his arm shoots out to grab you, pain erupting as he bends your neck to look at him. You would allow this, because is his anger is on you then he won’t look into the 2 little children you helped vanish tonight after you killed their father.

“You do not make moves without me. Understood?”

“Yes Soldat.” You try to nod before he lets go.

“Viper.” He hisses. And you would allow it, because if anyone knew what you had done you would be killed.

The three of you ended up in a warehouse not too far away from the roof you had been scouting on, bucky carrying your bag of weapons on his shoulder as he tried not to look at you while Sam paced back and forth.

You sat on a fallen beam, seeming bored and uninterested as you picked at your nails. But Bucky knew that was your game, to let the world think you were a valid assassin with little to no care.

But he knew you cared, he knew how much effort you had put into saving kids back then. You had always been so warm without even realizing it.

But maybe that all changed, after it….. all happened he hadn’t heard about you again and after he was freed by Steve he couldn't seem to find any of the children you had saved.

“What happened to them?” He finds himself asking, his chest pinching at the sight of you. His flower. But that look in your eyes, the betrayal and anger…..

“The first three on my list? I dumped their bodies in the river.” You smile, turning your glare to Sam. “How about that pardon now?”

“The kids. The ones that you-“ you stand before he can finish his sentence , both him and Sam preparing for a fight as you seem to try and ease yourself.

“What kids?” Sam snaps, anger and protectiveness rolling off of him. “Did you hurt-“

“No. She used to smuggle them out.” Bucky explains. “When she got missions if there was a kid in the family she would pretend to kill them, and help the kid out.”

“I thought hydra confirmed kills by bodies.”

“Not when you’re the best.” You smile, that vapid venomous smile that made Bucky's stomach churn. “And Soldat is right. I used to smuggle the kids out.”

His chest hurts at the name you use, but he assumes that it’s fair. “Where are they now?”

He wants you to look at him, to tell him they are all safe and that he didn’t ruin everything. But you keep your eyes trained away, pain flashing through your features as you explain. “After you…. Told them….. they got the names and locations from me and sent out the shadow widow.”

“Kaltain Amerie.” Sam nods, recognizing the name. She was married to a fancy rich guy now, had been the one Yelena found.

“She took care of what I couldn’t. She did the job.” You nod, hands fisting at your sides as the words clang into Bucky. “And I was punished for my failure.”

“And the missions you got after they caught you?” Sam asks, casting a brief look to bucky at the word caught.

“I had a partner, and they always made sure I did my job.” Fuck.

He was going to puke, how many kids had…..

“You mentioned an alliance. Not an interrogation.” You snap, obviously uncomfortable. “And if you want to revoke my pardon because of-“

“I don’t.” Sam says gently, nodding. “And I’m sorry that it happened.”

“I’m not.” It was a lie and Bucky could taste it. Anything to keep both of them away, that wall you built up when he first met you.

“Okay. The name on your list. Let’s talk about how to get him.” Bucky changes direction, wanting to get you to ease again, not liking the pain in your eyes.

You continue to avoid looking in his direction, and he continues to stare at only you.

She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some

She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?

Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride

Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife

And she looks so pretty

Driving in your Benz

Lately she's been dressing for revenge

It’s a month into the mission when the Soldat tells you his name.

Gone were the days of sleeping on opposite sides of the room, now you both shared a bed. Gone were the days of him not sleeping, and he was now the one that fell asleep first.

Tonight being one of those nights, with you sitting against the headboard of the hotel bed, his forehead pressed into your thigh as he falls asleep slowly, letting you play with his hair as you review footage of your next name. The third on the list.

“My name….” He mutters, this time in English which still shocks you everytime he does. “It’s Bucky.”

“Bucky?” It tastes like vanilla on your tongue, your chest lightening as you whisper it a couple more times. “I like it.”

“What’s yours?”

“My file…. My file says Y/n.” You whisper back and he tilts his head up to look at you.

“You don’t seem to like it.”

“I….. it just doesn’t feel real.” You admit. “It feels wrong for me to use it.”

“I think it’s a wonderful name. It suits you well but… I think you’re my flower.” He murmurs back, moving to press his forehead into your thigh once more and finally lets sleep claim him.

The next morning you both work in tandem, cleaning weapons, he gives you time to make sure that your knives are still potent with venom as you try to come up with a plan to get the 5 year old girl out of the country without the soldier knowing.

But the betrayal of it hurts your chest, watching him work around you as a smooth unit. A team. That’s what you had become.

“Ready?” He asks in Russian, coming up to fix the hair that had fallen out of your braid, using his flesh hand to push it behind your ear as his thumb traces your jaw.

“Always. You?”

“With you my little flower? Always.”

It was ironic the way you and the Soldat still worked in tandem, moving with an effortless grace.

Sam, the captain, watches with wide eyes as you both move around each other.

“Do we have-“

“Yes we have enough intel.” You snap, closing the camera footage the second you spot the young boy running down the hall of the mansion when both him and his mom get home. The pain in your chest could be blamed on the image, and or the stupid soldier standing too close to you. “I can smell your breath.”

“He ate a cheeseburger for lunch again?” Sam chuckles and you stand straight, giving him wide eyes as the Soldat rolls his own. “You know you can’t get in trouble for calling him an idiot, right?”

“I’m aware.” Your words come out clipped and you try not to shudder at the way Sam snickers, catching your lie.

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Call Barnes a dumbass.”

“I won’t speak to the Soldat.” You reply, moving to clean your knives.

“Oh come on. Try it. It helps me..” sam laughs, sitting across from you at the kitchen counter as the Soldat shuffles closer to help you clean the knives. You could feel the warmth radiating off of him.

“You….. are a dumbass.” You squeak out, not looking at him. You hear him snort behind you and he reaches across to grab another knife. You roll your eyes at the way he presses his body next to yours.

“That was lame. Try again.” Sam laughs.

“Fine. You’re a DUMBASS!” You snap out, watching both their eyes widen before laughs break out and they start cracking up.

You feel your stiff spine loosen a little, the anxiety easing as you start laughing as well, all three of you cackling. His flesh hand finds its way to your lower back to keep you stable as you both drop the knives to laugh. And finally, after three weeks of working with them you drop the angry front, and give in to their warmth even though everything in you screams to not fall for it.

“Is this….. proper mission food?” You ask from the spot you had taken at the window, watching Bucky and Sam come in with pizza boxes and beer in their hands, both laughing at each other .

Bucky had, sort of tripped up on the stairs which sent Sam in a spiral of making fun of him, but the second they laid eyes on you that humor fell out the window, both going quiet.

“You don’t think pizza and beer are good?” Sam asks, offended. “This is the best combo.”

“Is it…. Allowed?” You ask again and Bucky feels that pang in his chest before he passes the box to you and opens it smoothly.

“You get the first slice pick.” He offers and Sam gasps at the counter.

“That….. oh that’s just cruel to me.”

“It’s an honor to pick the first slice then?” You quirk your eyebrow, humor written on your face, the spark in your eyes setting him on fire. “This is a New York custom?”

“Oh indeed.” He smiles, pushing the box closer to you. “It would be a great dishonor to refuse this.”

There is a second of discomfort, he watches you contemplate it before you reach for a slice, grabbing the largest slice and raising your eyebrows as you wait to see their reactions.

“Perfect choice!” Sam grunts, reaching around you to grab another slice.

“I was going to choose that one.” Bucky smiles, watching you bite it immediately then stick out your tongue at him before taking up a spot on the couch as both of them find their own seats in the living room. You seem tense still, obviously not used to this sort of freedom anymore and his lungs constrict at the thought that this was caused by him.

Back then you had been so… warm and open. Even as an agent you melted the ice exterior the soldier had around him. And through the muddled haze of his memory every memory attached to you was always crystal clear, like a flame in the fog.

“So…. you guys knew each other back when he was the Winter Soldier?” Sam asks, popping the lid off of a beer with ease, he leans forward on his knees and pretends to be more interested in the pizza box. Making it seem like he was an open book, a comforting thing.

“Yeah, we had a long list of enemies that they wanted us to deal with.” You answer, looking to the window rather than either of them.

“It seems like it went wrong…”

“It went fine.” Bucky is quick to snap.

“It was fine. We made it through half the list, before Hydra had to get involved.” You snap as well moving to set the rest of your slice on the plate left on the table for you. “I made a mistake.”

“It wasn’t-” Bucky goes to argue, chest tight.

“I let emotions muddle my task.” You explain to Sam. “I got too attached and ruined it. And then I got caught smuggling the kids out- I was further reported for my behavior and handled accordingly.”

“Hey, this isn’t Hydra.” Sam tries to ease you. “I think what you did was very noble and-”

“All I did was give kids hope where it didn’t belong.” You sneer. “I will never allow myself that weakness again.”

You cast Bucky a glare, his palms sweating and chest blistering as he watches you disappear into the bathroom and the shower running a second later.

Sam continues watching Bucky, eyebrows pinched together. “You reported it?”

“I… as much as I broke away at that time I was still under the soldiers spell.” Bucky admits, gulping down half the beer in his hand. “I…. I had sent in a mission report. Well I had to send it in and I had caught her plan a little bit before that.”

“I’m sorry that happened, Buck.”

“I am too.” He sighs. “I got rewarded and she… well they broke her.”

She don't start it, but she can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

So on the weekends

She don't dress for friends

Lately she's been dressing for revenge

“You need to be careful in the upper levels.” He warns, keeping his flesh hand on the small of your back as you both move to start scaling the side of the house.

“I know.” You growl out, keeping your voice low as his eyebrows pinch in frustration. “Don’t be a worry wart.”

“Stick to my side.”

“The job is quicker if I take care of the kids.” You mumble, leaning up to kiss his cheek lightly, the closest you had ever gotten to actually kissing him, no matter how much you wanted to. Three months with him and you were hopelessly in love.

“Fine.” He grunts out, his Russian sharp. He nods once before moving to his starting point, checking that you had begun scaling the wall to the kids room before heading in to handle the parents. But you had been so caught up in Bucky that you didn’t check to make sure both the children were asleep.

The girl screamed first, followed by the boy and you began rushing to ease their worries, kneeling by them and trying to swipe the tears away. “No no. Easy my little ones. It’s okay. I just need you to listen-”

But the boy screams again, this time at something behind you which makes you whirl to find Bucky in the frame of the door, watching intently with blood on his arm.

“No! Please!” You beg, up on your feet and shoving yourself in front of the children as he cocks his head to the side. “Please.”

“Move.” He orders, raising his gun. It seems he’s already assessed the weakness and was willing to handle the problem. “Now.”

“No!” You hadn’t even realized that tears were falling down your face until you could taste the salt, moving forward to grab his gun. “Please!”

“The mission-”

“They are children.” Both of you were speaking Russian, which seemed to be scaring the kids even more as they wailed, and you turned to ease them again. They dash into your arms, holding you tight as they sob. You would die before letting anything happen to them.

When you turn to see him again you see that he has lowered the gun and is merely staring at you, something sparking in his eyes.

You wait for the blow, but it never comes. Instead he nods his head and moves to pick up the boy. He helps you get them out, aboard a ship and hidden from Hydra. When you make it back to the hotel you pace a bit, waiting for him to finish you off.

But he merely stands in the center of the room, watching you closely.

“I’m sorry.” You sob, hand on your chest as you turn to him finally. “I failed the mission and-”

He moves forward in three easy strides, his hands grasping your jaw to bring you up into a searing kiss, arms wrapping around you tightly as he lifts you off the ground to keep you close. And all anxieties peel away, as he lifts his hand to undo your suit. Giving yourself to the soldier that night, and once you were done you stay huddled together, whispering your dreams of the past and future.

And for once you felt like…. You were home.

The next morning tensions were gone, and you seemed to have forgotten about the night before. Or at least you were pretending to, and Bucky didn’t know if he should be happy or angry at the fact.

You had combed through all the footage of the target, piling it all into a folder and he had sent the flash drive to the people needed that would be able to get him arrested. And after that had been sent you had sent out another envelope to his wife, with proof of an affair so she would be able to divorce him.

And just like that another name was taken off your list, and Bucky tried not to feel the pressure at the fact that he was sure you would be gone the second the list was done. And he wouldn’t have an excuse to see you anymore.

He’s lucky Sam went along with this plan in the first place.

“Where is Sam?” You ask from your spot at the counter, legs crossed as you play with one of your knives, watching him closely where he sits on the couch.

“He went to go check on his sister and her kids.” He answers, looking up to you. “They are really close.”

“That’s nice.” You hum, dropping the knife out of boredom. “What comes next?”

“You got another name?”

“Are we allowed to start without Sam?” You ask, eyebrows pinching together.

“Yes. We can. Your list?”

“Front pocket of my duffel.” You hum out, something having caught your attention. He reaches for the bag and checks for the list as you shuffle closer to his open laptop. For a second he hears you hesitate, but he had already made it clear that you had access to anything so he nods and lets you look as he finds the paper you wrote the list on.

His eyes skim across the names, landing on the very last name as his heart stops. ‘Bucky Barnes’ , and no matter how many times you blink the name does not disappear. Why did you let him see this? Was this a trap set?

He whirls, only to find you staring at the screen unblinking. “Flower?”

Your head snaps to glare at him as he shuffles closer, shoving your list in his pocket and looking at what had caught your attention. He finds an old sitcom, a scene with a mother curled up with her kids and reading them a bedtime story.

“You never told me why.” He mutters, sitting on the couch with you on the floor staring at the screen again.

“Why what?”

“Why did you risk your life for all those kids?”

“Because they… because no one fought for me back then.” You admit, turning to look at him. “What is this show?”

“Full house. I don’t know, Steve put it on my list.”

“Your list?” You ask and he nods.

“Things to catch up on.” He smiles. “Like the star wars series.”

“The what?” He blinks slowly at your question, purely shocked.

Three hours later you are both sprawled out on the couch, pillows and blankets thrown about with snacks everywhere. Bucky had dragged you out to the store, buying tons of snacks that you had never tried before and before you knew it the apartment cupboards were packed with snacks and you were preparing to see the first star wars.

“Should we… have brought all this to the mission base?”

“The what?” He laughs, leaning forward to snatch a gummy worm from the bag you were holding.

“The… this apartment. Are we allowed to use it for this?”

“It’s my apartment.” He shrugs, and you blink slowly.

“It’s empty though.”

“I have a couch!” He scoffs. “And a tv!”

“No bed, no plushy towels or…. This is your home?” You didn’t know why this upset you. “You live like this?”

You want to kill him. You want to kill him. Why does this matter?

“I have a welcome mat.” He points to the door.

“That’s an ugly welcome mat.”

“Is not.”

“That would scare away any child on halloween.” You snap. “Are you trying to ruin their halloween?”

“No one really comes up here on halloween.” He shrugs again. “Why does it matter?”

“You… you’ve been free! You have been free this whole time and this is how you live and- I…..”

“I had other things to worry about besides Hydra. And John Walker. Tony Stark and the snap and- well I was trying to find you.” He admits.

“You were trying to find me?” Your chest constricts, as you watch him. “You tried to find me?”

“I did but after I was freed it was like they made you completely disappear and I’m assuming it’s because they knew I would start looki-” Before he can finish his sentence his phone rings and he sees Sams name, giving you an apologetic look before picking it up. You take a moment to try and fix yourself, taking deep breaths in. “He WHAT?”

This catches your attention, sitting up to watch him carefully as he stands. “I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up and nods. “I gotta go help Sam. Stay here and-”

“I’m coming with you.” You snap, moving to grab your duffel.

“No, we have a situation with John Walker and I need to-”

“I am coming.” And just like that you grab your suit, giving him your best glare as he shakes his head. “You both are helping me. The least I can do is help you.”

“You don’t have to.” He mumbles.

“But I will. Let’s go.”

Ladies always rise above

Ladies know what people want

Someone sweet and kind and fun

The lady simply had enough

“Thank you.” You whisper, keeping your head on his chest as you trace patterns along his skin. “Thank you for helping.”

“If you got away what would you do?”

“Me? I….. I would find the kids and make sure they made it. I would buy a house and get a cheesy welcome mat for it. I would decorate for halloween and….. And I would adopt a kid and-” You could taste the freedom, imagine it right there. A happy life.

“That sounds… amazing, flower.”

You lift your head, smiling softly as you lean up to kiss him, and he smiles back before moving to kiss you back.

You feel him stiffen before sitting up quickly and reaching for his knife. “Bucky?”

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles. “I’m so sorry.”

Before you can realize the door is blown open and agents rush in to grab you.

“Oh…. oh I like this duo.” John Walker smiles, watching you stand slightly behind Bucky with your arms crossed. He doesn’t say a word and neither do you, both giving him a good glare. The Winter Soldier and The Viper. “I hadn’t realized that Bucko boy came with his very own sidekick.”

“этот идиот знает, что от него пахнет рыбой?” (does this imbecile know he smells of fish?) You ask, sneering a bit and taking a step closer to Bucky. “и так небрежно использовать свое имя. Я могу сломать этого человека за считанные минуты.” (and to use your first name so casually. I can break this man within minutes.)

“Я с нетерпением жду этого. Еще я очень голоден, мармеладных червячков мне не хватило, чтобы поесть..” (I look forward to it. I'm also very hungry, gummy worms were not a sufficient meal)

You nod, trying not to smile as he gives you a look over his shoulder while Walker shuffles uncomfortably on his feet. “Shouldn’t we all speak english?”

“Maybe.” Sam shrugs. “But I find it’s easier to let these two do their thing. You said something about a raid?”

“There is a train heading down south here in 30 minutes and I know for a fact that there are rebels planning on stealing what’s on it.”

“What’s so important about what’s on the train?” Bucky asks, casting a look towards you and you see him catalog each and every one of your weapons just as he always used to do as the soldat. You give him a glare and he shrugs.

“Weapons.” John mutters. “And if we can intercept the rebels then-”

“You get your job back?” Sam snides. John stutters for a second and you snort, enjoying the panic on his face. He glares at you, preparing to say something as you step forward to grab one of your knives. You had no clue who this man was but it was easy to know that he was not an ally.

“Get your-”

“She’s not a dog.” Sam snaps, as Bucky sneers. “We’ll help, but on our terms. No one gets hurt and no one gets pummeled without cause.”

“Fine. Let’s see what you guys can do.” John sneers at you both, and Bucky sends you an easy smile over his shoulder as you smile back.

“Устроить им ад?” (Give them hell?)

“следую твоему примеру, Барнс.” (Following your lead, Barnes) You smile back, both of you swiveling to Sam and moving together.

You stand with him on a bridge, keeping a hand on his arm to stabilize yourself as you keep an eye on the ledge, fixing the comm in your ear with your other hand as he does the same.

“I….. I never wanted to betray you.” He blurts, as John tries to convince Sam to give him one of their comms, his argument of ‘I’m part of the team!’ almost making you snort. But Bucky’s words kept your attention as you tried to play it cool. Keeping your eyes trained on the bridge before you.

“Is this a good time to talk about this?” You mutter in Russian, just in case Walker could hear you both like you could hear him.

“It was the status report. They were making me do it every month and….. I fought it. I really tried to fight it.” He admits in russian, casting a look to Walker before turning back to you, his hand shooting out to wrap around your arm as you lean to prepare a landing. “Careful.”

“I thought…. You were…. Nevermind it was my mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake.” He snaps, pulling you closer. “It… It was everything to me.”

“I shouldn’t have. I should have kept my eyes on the mission and I ruined it and I ruined it for those kids. You were a weapon dangled before me, they knew I would fall for it. They knew I would fall for the freedom of it. And I’m sure they already knew that I was helping those kids and they just needed to prove-” The words are spilling out and you just can’t seem to stop them, tears beginning to fill your eyes. “I just wanted… I just wanted to help them.”

“You did.” He mumbles, moving until his chest is pressed to your shoulder. “Please look at me.”

“I messed it all up.”

“You didn’t mess anything up-”

“I did. I fell in love.” You finally look at him, tears in your eyes as he takes a deep breath in.

“I-”

“Incoming.” It’s Sam's voice in the comms that makes you both jump before you look to see the train coming.

“On it.” You mumble back in english, stabbing a knife into the brick beneath you as Bucky keeps a hold on your arm.

“Be careful, we’ll be right behind. Keep a knife ready and-”

“I’ve got it.” You laugh, watching the train get closer and closer.

“I just worry.” He admits, leaning forward to kiss your cheek softly. “And just so we are clear, I fell in love too.”

You try not to smile, giving him one last look before using the chord and launching down as you hear Sam count down in the comms, feet landing on the top of the train with a thud before you dive for the top grate and begin working on tearing it off.

You manage to tear it off in time to duck and lay flat as a sign under the bridge appears, managing to avoid it before crouching and climbing in as the train breaks from the bridge, three heavy sets of footprints hit the top of it while you climb across boxes to get to the end of the cart.

“Viper?!” Walker calls, landing in the crate followed by Bucky and Sam. You don’t bother answering, too busy trying to lift the shaft on the cart.

“You good?” Sam asks, coming to your side.

“I’m fine.” You mumble. “I can handle the mission sir-”

“Did you just sir me?” Sam laughs, leaning to help you with the shaft, letting the sunlight break in as the wind snaps in both your faces.

“You guys see anything?” John yells across the way as Bucky hops over a box and reaches you both.

You have just enough time to turn, ready to bite a response to Walker when you spot the bomb taped to the far wall. Your mouth opens in an attempt to yell a warning but it’s too late. It all blasts to shit.

There was nothing but pain as you hung suspended in the cell, the Shadow Widow sneering at you from her spot in the corner while Valkov took a break from torturing you. Your breathing is ragged, blood falling out of your mouth with the saliva as your eyes water.

You can no longer feel your legs, and your fingernails had been torn out first. Sobs racking through your body as he asks the question again, his russian loud.

“WHERE ARE THE LOOSE ENDS?!!”

You couldn’t betray the kids, you couldn’t do it. So when he picked up the drill you closed your eyes, sobbing once more as you try to blink Buckys face out of your memory, succumbing to your punishment.

Heat blasts against his back as you scream out, Sam yelling loudly, all three of you grasping anything you can as the train keeps going.

Bucky’s metal arm finds purchase on a broken handle of the train, trying to pull himself up as Sam grips the side grates of the train trying to activate his falcon wings while you struggle to keep hold of what is left of the floorboard in the train car, nails scraping as you grimace in pain while your legs stay suspended in the air.

“HOLD ON!” He calls, reaching his flesh hand for you before the metal of the door groans and he has to freeze.

Walker appears, bleeding from his ears and looking frazzled as hell, but Bucky breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees the idiot reach to help you. Hope that you would make it out of this mess, that is until John stumbles as he reaches for your hand and ends up making you lose your holding.

You scream out, nails scraping as you slide out, nearly all your body suspended in the air. Both Bucky and Sam scream, reaching for you before they realize they can’t.

“When does this fucking bridge end?” Bucky snaps, looking down to the hundreds of feet below, memories flashing in his mind.

“Language.” Sam grunts, exhaling in relief when he sees you manage to grab the final woodboard, your last chance at holding on.

“Complete the mission.” You snap. “I can get up.”

“We don’t leave each other behind.” Bucky grunts, using his flesh hand to reach for a rope connected to the roof of the train car.

“Hydra tells us we need to complete the missi-”

“This isn’t Hydra and I’m not leaving my girl on this train.” Bucky snaps and Sam whoops out a loud ‘fuck hydra’ as they both struggle to get to the main opening.

There are thuds on top of the train and you risk a look to see multiple hooded figures with bags getting ready to ransack the weapons. A grunt of anger passes through you as let one hand free from the board, much to Bucky's chagrin as he yells out for you before you reach and grab your compact launcher you had hidden in the belt of your suit and shoot the roof with the grappling hook, pulling yourself up right in time for Walker to fall back into the car.

“This manchild is useless.” You sneer, reaching for Bucky immediately, hands grasping his tactical vest and dragging him as much as you can into the train car as Sam struggles to get in as well.

“There are about 15 figures. We should have about 10 minutes before they blow the rest of this train up.” You explain, keeping your hands on his shoulders as you assess him. “Are you hurt?”

“No I’m-”

“I’m hurt!” Walker calls, making you hiss an unappealing word at him in russian before moving to look at Sam.

“Do you want the viper or me on this mission?”

“Viper would be nice.” Sam nods, looking at all the weapons. “Viper for sure.”

You nod, turning to assess Bucky one more time before he nods at you and you both begin working.

While he was doing lines

And crossing all of mine

Someone told his white collar crimes to the FBI

And I don't dress for villains

Or for innocents

I'm on my vigilante shh again

You both work in tandem, every punch he throws shoves the person straight into your kick. You slash your knife at anyone that gets too close to him, slicing their skin easily as he snipes out anyone rushing to the train.

Sam is finding the rest of the bombs, disarming them to the best of his ability.

You hiss in pain when you get hit in the jaw, but Bucky is there smashing the butt of his gun to the back of their head as you blink away the tears. His hand finds your jaw, assessing the damage before turning and nodding to the path you guys need.

“So…. what’s the plan after this?” He asks, huffing as he gets to the slate you had originally been planning on clearing.

“After this? Probably dinner.” You laugh, bending to break the controls. He adjusts himself so you were back to back, him watching to make sure you were good.

“I mean…. After this mission.”

“I….. I want to finish the list.” You answer, tearing out a board to access the rest of the control panel.

“Does that list still include me?” He blurts, making you freeze. When you don’t answer he looks down to see you already staring up at him with wide eyes.

“You saw that?”

“On your list. Highlighted and everything.” He nods, snapping his attention to a thud across the way, finding it empty. It was enough to get you back to work, focusing on the wires and buttons again. “I would understand if you wanted to-”

“I don’t anymore.” You snap. “I don’t think I ever would have been able to but it’s not like I planned to make it far after I got out. I didn’t have a plan. Everyone else had a plan and I was left! I was tortured and maimed for wanting that freedom, and when the time came I was the only one that had nothing to live for.”

You were seething, and he could only agree. He hated the other widows for what they did to you, that would never be forgiven.

“I wanted a family. That’s all I wanted.” You whisper, finally breaking the right chord. The lights immediately die out and the train lurches as it comes to a complete stop.

“Is that still what you want?” He whispers back, holding his hand out for you to grab and help you up.

“I don’t deserve it.”

“You are the only person in this entire universe that deserves that.” He snaps. “And it’s important to me that you know that.”

“It’s not like I have much of a future open.”

“Well I think you have a bit of a future in the vigilante game if you ask me.” He smiles.

I don't start it, but I can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

So on the weekends

I don't dress for friends

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

“I’m sorry, you used to what?!” Sarah laughs, coming around the kitchen counter to grab a bottle of soda from your hand, eyes wide. “Dip your knives in lethal poison.”

“It made things easier. Even if I didn’t hit a vital organ I still knew the job was done.” You explain, shrugging a bit as she laughs. You still got nervous when talking about your past, but Sarah seemed anything but judgemental.

Sam's sister ended up being your very best friend on this earth, which surprised you to no end. You loved her kids and you loved her. You especially loved girls night because you never thought this would be an option in general. Nonetheless you had friends now. You had a home, with a silly little welcome mat that was left on the porch for the trick or treaters every year.

The very same one that was getting trampled on every time Sarahs kids ran through with your adopted children, covered in mud and laughing loudly.

“Hey! Mind your mess!” She snaps out but you can’t stop smiling as you watch your adopted 4 year old chase after one of her sons.

“What are you up to?” Bucky asks, coming in from the garage with Sam and Joaquin smiling from ear to ear as he rushes to kiss at your jaw.

“We are getting ready.” You laugh, shooing him away.

“For?”

“The Eras movie. You have daughters now Barnes. You need to get with the program.” Sarah scoffs playfully, making her brother laugh as they pick up the snacks and head to the living room.

“Hey…. I just wanted to say thank you for your help on the mission the other day.” Torres smiles before following the rest into the living room leaving you with Bucky.

“Hear that? Vigilante shit right there.” You laugh, leaning forward to kiss him.

“Still waiting for you to kill me.” He whispers against your lips, winking before heading to catch your daughter as she tries to dash past, making her laugh loudly and reach for you.

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gigidragonbbxxx · 2 months

Text

a personal struggle + an education

this is all just gigi's opinions + thoughts

Reader, I'm struggling with empathy right now.

Don't worry, I'm not suffering from a personality pathology, I promise I am quite sympathetic and empathetic. It's just battling the feeling of wanting to be kind but also seeing a major problem and knowing I need to get it off my chest.

Let me give it to yall straight (with tweaked/paraphrased details to protect privacy and not to out anyone):

I saw a favorite loass coach/twt account/subliminal creator make fun of an "old timey" English sentence either from Neville Goddard or Edward Art. They proceeded to say that they "hate" it and "why can't they just say it simpler". and then someone else commented "they're talking bullshit fr".

The convo thread on twt devolved into an echo chamber that essentially boiled down to the old fool's adage "If I don't understand it, it must be stupid and not worth it."

This really triggered me because

The phrase quoted was not that hard to understand.

It was clear these women were not educated

Why am I judging or mad at people for their ignorance? (this is why I kept quiet on twt and went here to vent. I acknowledge that two things can be true, I can be kind and still be honest.)

I was and currently am still wrestling with these things within me.

On one hand I don't want to judge. I want to be inclusive and welcoming and supportive.

On the other hand - yall don't look educated, yall wind up looking dumb.

I'll say a harsh truth yall and you can go argue with a damn wall but I know I'm right: stupidity is not cute.

My Hot Take (not so hot when you think about it)

The Law of Assumption rewards those who feed their mind with knowledge

Before you argue with me, think about it. Seriously.

I don't want to seem ableist if someone suffers from dyslexia or if someone struggles in school. It's totally okay to have different paths to learning. The importance is still obtaining the information. You can read or listen to the audiobook, etc. The paths to knowledge are varied but in the end the result is the same - THE KNOWING.

The "old timey" sentence that the creator complained about COULD BE READ BY NINTH GRADERS BECAUSE OF SHAKESPEARE EXPOSURE.

That's why I was exasperated. They were complaining about English (the only language in which they are fluent) that is regularly taught to 14 year olds.

Guys. Stand up. Please stand the fuck up.

Who in this world is gonna take you seriously without BASIC COMPETENCY in literature or math?

Lemme roast some of yall if you want to disagree:

Yall wanna be master manifesters and claim to understand the double slit experiment but can't even name the fundamental laws of science or explain them.

Yall wanna be successful in your businesses and don't know how to calculate your profits.

Yall wanna be seen as intellectuals who "understand" more than the majority of the population and yall can't even fucking read Descartes or Shakespeare.

Yall wanna be content creators and don't know how to proofread.

One time I bought an affirmation tape that came with a pdf with all the affirmations listed. The tape itself was excellent but the pdf was riddled with errors! It makes me sad because something that can help change your life, like a sleep tape to saturate, "cheapens" in its authenticity at the price of minor errors. Sigh.

Let me tell you that 100% you can be successful in this world just by going to the end and claiming it.

BUT YOU LOSE A LOT OF TREASURE BY NOT GIVING YOURSELF THE TOOLS TO DIG FOR IT.

THERE IS SO MUCH FOUNDATIONAL INFORMATION WITHIN THESE "OLD TIMEY" TEXTS.

and if you don't like any of it and just wanna watch sammy ingram and manifest like that THEN GO AHEAD BUT DONT CLAIM TO NOT UNDERSTAND A SENTENCE AND THEN CALL IT BULLSHIT.

just be honest and own it!

be honest that you don't wanna read, that you don't wanna be academic and that's 100% okay and you're still beautiful and worth everything but

do not put down the value of what is being said just because you don't understand it

That's why I am frustrated, reader.

I am educated enough to recognize when someone's ignorance is just that - ignorance.

But I am human enough to be annoyed.

So please give yourselves some grace and take the time to appreciate knowledge. Without the knowledge of the law of assumption, we wouldn't all be here interacting with one another.

xx, gigi

p.s. for those of you who are more familiar with reading the Bible via the law of assumption lens - I beg you to think of Solomon. He was asked by God what he would like and Solomon chose wisdom over material things. Why is that? Because through wisdom comes the ability to know how to obtain all one's desires. Food for thought.

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darkstar225 · 1 year

Text

Twice's 10th member is receiving hate

The members noticed the difference in her mood the whole day. It could be because she got bad grades, she woke up late as she spend the night training or because of the hate she's receiving. Maybe all of them but the unnies wouldn't know, she didn't wanna seem weak and bother them with her issues when she knows all of them also receive hate and are doing fine. After a long day, she said good night to her sisters and practically sprinted to her room without her roommates (SMC) sleeping as soon as her head touched the pillow, which was already a bad sign since she hated to sleep without someone in the room with her.

Meanwhile in the living room...

Jihyo - Did you girls see how she looks tired?

Jeongyeon - Yeah, she's also in a mood. The girl can give us a run for our money when she's being sassy *rolls her eyes*

Nayeon - I taught her well *dries fake tears*

Momo - Be serious grandma, we're talking about our child

Nayeon - YAH! STOP CALLING ME GRANDMA

Dahyun - With all due respect unnie, shhhhh. You know Y/N is a light sleeper (can't relate, I could sleep through an earthquake)

Tzuyu - She's right unnie, once I got thirsty and opened the door to go to the kitchen and get a cup of water. She woke up immediately asking if I was okay

Chaeyoung - Fr, can someone go check if she woke up, please? I feel like it's been some time since she fell asleep so fast, she's probably exhausted. I agree with Jihyo unnie.

Sana - I'm gonna see if she's still in her room, brb

On the SMC room...

Y/N - Well, that didn't go the way I wanted. I wish I'd just escape this hate, they're not being fair to me, I keep being up all night overthinking all the mistakes they point out and training to be better than what they see. Am I not good enough? Maybe I suck at this. What if the group did improve without me being the black sheep?

While thinking all of this she wasn't aware that a certain hamster had entered her room and informed the rest she was awake. When she finally came back from her mind, she let out a scream because her unnie was just staring at her looking quite creepy

Y/N - UNNIE, YOU SCARED ME!

Sana - Sorry honey, you're somewhere else but I knocked before entering. How are you? You seemed kinda out of it...

Y/N - I'm doing okay unnie, just lost a night's sleep, otherwise, I feel fine

Sana - Don't lie to me, we know you. Right guys?

At that moment everyone that was outside the door went inside and nodded their heads.

Mina - Sana's right babe, we took note that you're not the same as always as soon as you got out of your bed this morning.

Y/N - But-

Jihyo - No buts, we're getting through the issue you're having and you're getting some sleep after this with me (Jihyo, Jeongyeon and Mina's room)

Dahyun - Unnie is right (again), start talking, please... We're worried about you!

Y/N - That's exactly why I didn't wanna talk with you guys. I don't want to be a burden.

Momo - Again with this... We already talked about it, you know you're important to us and we care about you and your feelings, every time you need someone to hear you, we're there for you. Stop thinking that you're burdening us when you get sad, hurt or even mad like this morning. We know you like the back of our hands and we'll understand anything you request without questioning 'cause you always try to express what you need. Except if you ask for my jokbal lmao

Chaeyoung - What a way to kill the moment, da- dang.

Nayeon - And here I thought Momo was speaking facts, yeah... That sounds more like her lol

Jihyo - You did well Momo... Don't think we forgot about you young lady

Y/N - I mean, you could... Jk, tysm for always assuring me that you love me, sometimes things appear to be harder to believe after everything you hear from people.

Jeongyeon - Which people? Who do I've to kill?

Tzuyu - Am I the only one who already understood what's going on? She's receiving hate! Now that I know everything falls in place, the anger, the sadness, the insecurity...

Mina - Wow, it makes sense. Is this it sweetie?

Y/N - Yo, are you a therapist 'cause gee, you read me like a book lol

Sana - Stop joking, if that's the case, it's something severe

Y/N - Ok, ok. I'm sorry. Yeah, I got some hater recently that I can't get out of my hair, they talked about my dancing skills, my vocals, how I'm always lazy on stage and my poor expressions. It sucks as I'm starting to believe it and I can't seem to stop wanting to train, that's why I stay late at the studio. I'm exhausted unnies, it hurts so much to see that no one notices my efforts and just sees what I did incorrectly. *sobs*

Jihyo pulls Y/N closer and she lays on her chest while crying. Jihyo feels her shirt getting wetter as time went by and she felt heartbroken to see her maknae so glum. Without anything else to do everyone sat near and gave their love in their own style, all while Jihyo caressed Y/N's back repeating that things will be okay.

After half an hour, sobs turned into sniffles and Y/N got out of Jihyo's chest and leaned on Momo that was behind her. Momo instantly gave her a kiss on the forehead, making the maknae giggle and the unnies hearts flutter with how cute she looked being so vulnerable.

Jihyo - Are you better now?

Y/N - It's not something that goes away like magic but you guys made me feel inches better, you're the best family I could ask for!

Twice - OWNNNNN, that's what we're here for love bug. We're pressing charges against your haters or we're not TWICE!

You can certainly expect all the members to appear at JYP to threaten JYPapa so he can make that come true and give some vacation so they can help their dear maknae to heal because they love their dear maknae.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

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deadwardianpoltergeist · 1 year

Text

basic premise of the upbringing of my AU turtles

splinter(who is the late yoshi’s lost pet rat) is mutated with only mikey, raph, and leo initially

leatherhead, who is sleeping nearby, is splashed by mutagen as well

mikey, being notoriously easily distracted(somebody should put that infant on a leash) wanders over to leatherhead, who wakes up, panicked

in the panic splinter is left having to chase the startled raph and leo, and when he comes back for mikey both her and leatherhead are gone

splinter tries it’s best to juggle raising his new kids well and looking for mikey(to little avail)

leo is worried, but is a little kid who cares more about attention from splints than a sibling he barely remembers

raph is very stressed out by the anxiety splinter shows constantly worrying about mikey. of course, she’s like three, so his thoughts go along the lines of “if I get a new sibling then he’ll stop being so distressed and stay home” (she hates seeing his dad like this, the guilt, the misery, and splinter doesn’t fully realize how much his misery is affecting the two kids it still has)

raph has basic knowledge of how he exists, with the mutagen. splinter often comes back from its searches with canisters he stashes away so they can’t wreak more havoc.

so, raph steals a canister while splinter is away

she finds a (common snapping turtle) nest in one of the farther areas of the sewers

he grabs one of the eggs and opens the canister(this shit is an irresponsible biohazard nobody babyproofed it) and mutates his new unborn sibling(and also said siblings bio mom but that’s not important right now)

the young raphael’s plan kind of works actually??

well, splinter definitely spends more time on the kids he lives with now, though he’s still awfully stressed, the amount of grey hair would make one of those beauty gurus obsessed with youth drop dead on the spot(and not just because he’s a mutant rat)

donnie and raph are very close, but donnie’s mutation inflicts a similar guilt to what splinter feels about losing mikey on raph

donnie would probably have some turtle fibromyalgia without the mutagen, and it would probably be a lot worse to live with as a wild baby trying to make it alone in the sewers on new york, but raph doesn’t know that

he thinks she did this, caused this pain for donnie, and she feels terrible about it

but she’s smart, he notices as the years pass that splinter and leo coddling don just makes them miserable, so she tries his best to push a lot of her worries about it to the side

eventually they’re best friends

leon is very much Splinter Jr, as he always is, and also is OBSSESED with astronomy(not to be confused with star signs)

he’s a pretty stressed little guy but out of everyone he’s the most chill at this young stage(wish I could say he’s as carefree later in life but it’s leonardo let’s be fr)

meanwhile, leatherhead has been raising mikey in a different part of the sewers. and yes, leatherhead is a very compassionate parent and they try very hard, but he’s not especially mentally stable. he gets better, and mikey helps them a lot, but no amount of guilt and anguish he feels about having mikey witness him having these horrible episodes will stop them. LH never asked to be a parent, but he didn’t see splinter when they got mutated, and mikey barely recalls. there’s nothing else he can do, they feel trapped

anyways basic overview there’s so much more and I 100% should have it written down more in depth(maybe on ao3? though I do have a couple more things to figure out) but here’s the early childhood of the turtles(under 10 years old)

#somebody’s probably going to come after me for the quote on quote forced representation #but like what’s the point of writing if there’s no learning or teaching happening #maybe it’s the autism but that’s my philosophy #learning and then sharing that knowledge #also representation is super important #even if it is just going to be some silly ao3 story #tmnt #tmnt au #turtle tots #leatherhead #master splinter #hamato leonardo #hamato raphael #hamato michelangelo #hamato donatello

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ruvviks · 2 years

Note

throwing it back at you with. whole of the hearts section for whoever you want to ramble about the most rn (^:<

HEHEHGHEHE THAMK U >:] vincent time >:]]]

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

ohhh when he's in love with someone, everything about them gets his heart racing <3 just thinking about them is already enough let alone being near them. when he fell in love with vitali he would literally get weak at the knees by the mere thought of him which was. a little unfortunate considering vitali is his fixer and he saw him pretty regularly!!! but he was being very brave about it

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

vincent 100% believes in love at first sight but is also a firm believer it's something you don't notice until time has already passed. he feels like if you immediately think you're in love that might be your brain playing tricks on you, it's more of a thing that makes you look back later and go "ohhhh so i WAS just in love the whole time actually"

vincent is mostly looking for comfort. he worries a lot about how other people perceive him and wants to find someone he feels 100% comfortable with and he doesn't have to like. "perform" in a certain way to make sure he's being perceived the way he wants people to perceive him. he's found all of this with vitali :) <3

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticeable? what changes when they're in love?

when vincent has a crush, he will try to make excuses to see the other person more. he's very nervous about it all and doesn't even necessarily wants to talk to them or anything, he just likes being near them and the thought of them possibly initiating a conversation with him rather than the other way round. when he's actually in love, this will only become worse LMFAO he isn't one to take initiative quickly so he just yearns and suffers in silence, and secretly hopes the more time he spends around the other person they'll fall in love with him as well and initiate something. anything. at all. please help him

vitali didn't notice vincent was in love with him because he's oblivious as fuck and needs people to spell things out for him (he's just like me fr), but he was also too caught up into his OWN feelings for vincent to notice anything weird. mikhail was a constant live slug reaction @ both of them on the sidelines btw. important information

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

vincent's main love languages are acts of service, physical touch and quality time. he's less good with words and gifts so he relies on other things a lot to tell people he loves them <3

💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?

vincent can be away from vitali perfectly fine for as long as needed, but does notice his absence a lot and is just. constantly aware of it. ever since he got rid of johnny in his head, it's been very quiet for him so he doesn't like to be alone and especially being away from vitali causes his surroundings to be so so quiet and he hates that ://

when they're not together, vincent just acts normally as any other day, but the longer they're apart the quieter he'll get because he ends up sinking into deep thought. if they still talk over the phone regularly or text each other on occasion it goes a lot better for him, because he'll know what vito is up to and how he's doing and that makes him worry a lot less

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

so so many things honestly LOL just in general other people doing things for vincent makes him feel loved and he will find comfort in even the smallest of things. since he's always a pretty animated and excited person, his friends tend to notice immediately when he's not feeling well and will hug him spontaneously which usually already helps him a lot :) a makeout session with vitali is also always much appreciated <3 LMFAO

💖 SPARKLING HEART - are they a subtle or a showy lover?

vincent is a showy lover for sure <3 he loves showering vitali in affection (vito is ok with that dw he has his permission to kiss him in public LMFAO) and will take every opportunity he gets to give him a kiss or hold his hand or give him a hug :) he doesn't really care about his "reputation" or whatever and neither does vitali so they're not keeping up appearances for anyone, so they can just be themselves

💌 LOVE LETTER - do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?

vincent has never received a love letter and he's fine with that <3 vitali tells him often how much he loves him and that actually means more to vincent than any letter ever could because he knows that vito still struggles with showing vulnerability every now and then and what is more vulnerable than repeatedly confessing your love to someone?

he leaves vitali a lot of notes with reminders, but also any time he leaves the house when vitali is busy with something (so he can't tell him directly) he'll leave a note to let him know where he's gone off to. he also leaves him random sticky notes with doodles and "i love you"-s and stuff like that :)

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

disappear out of his life :( vincent doesn't mind breaking up; if it's something that's best for them then he does not mind at all, prioritizing vitali's and his own well-being and their friendship over their romantic relationship. however, it WOULD break his heart if vitali were to just. leave entirely. and never come back. vincent cares so much about him and has already lost people in the past and he really just. does not want to lose vitali as well ;w;;

oc asks!

#asks #mutuals #reaperkiller #ask:vincent #oc asks #shaking him and shaking him and sh #he means so fucking much to me you have no idea on god. holding him in my arms

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luvring · 2 years

Note

Hiya Nia! I love your personality & writing! As for your anons they are… interesting?? (Though I do sometimes worry about them ngl) Regardless, getting a notification from your account is always a treat ♡

I was wondering if you could please write about Felix with a mc that has ADD/ADHD? Like they’re always forgetting/losing their stuff, has trouble focusing on their magic lessons, can’t sit in one place for too long sort of thing? But instead of constantly being frustrated with them he’s more understanding and patient with them? I grew up with, and still have to deal with, my ADD and it’s always disheartening when I’m constantly met with frustrated remarks from my loved ones despite my best efforts.

But only write if you want/feel comfortable doing so! Keep up the good work! ♡

crying. THANK U...i look at my anons like little feral cats sometimes. like ohh little guy... Oh No. ohh little guy again /pos /lh. this is so real tbh. i rlly hope everyone becomes more understanding and that u find people you feel comfortable with :[

felix might be a little "? Hello?" the first time he catches mc not paying attention because their circumstances are not ? one you'd really expect to be distracted in,,

but as soon as mc explains he understands better and tries to switch gears to make things easier fr!

he makes sure there's specific spots that they can leave things and check on first

very much "felix, have you seen the book i was reading?" "have you checked the edge of my desk?" "ah."

as somebody who's lost Countless important things,, if mc Does lose something, felix reassures them it'll be alright even if it was something of his. they look for it but if they can't find it, he promises they'll figure out a plan to make up for it

executive dysfunction goes crazy! felix offers to be their body double whenever they have something they need to work on. they spend a lot of afternoons just working peacefully until one of them gets up for a break

he remembers things that they mentioned, whether it be something they had to buy or do, and checks in with them about it. it turns into felix going with them/doing something at the same time because he's just so used to their,, Lives being intertwined

there's always some kind of to-do list or calendar near their workspace so it's easier to keep track of things

scheduling Also goes crazy. felix figures out what kind of schedule works best for them whether it's more like the pomodoro method or flowtime technique or something else. mc is the priority here

motivation comes and goes . if mc just really can't seem to focus, they stop for a bit and that's alright !!

he hates seeing them upset with themself about not completing what they set out to do </3 they figure out a baseline that they can try to reach to help them stay motivated

^ he Does like to celebrate and congratulate them when they do finish bigger tasks.

if their mind starts to wander during lessons and they apologize he says it's alright and re-explains it without getting upset

doesn't mind if they shuffle around in their seat or even get up to pace while talking/learning . there's been multiple times that he did the same thing with them just so they knew he was comfortable as long as they were

do they have Fidget Toys TM? probably not. but there's definitely things around that he can find for mc to fidget with and they both consider that a Win!

felix asks mc what kind of magic they'd be interested in. like,, specifics because actually enjoying the topic helps them stay focused and motivated

he genuinely gets upset if he hears that people haven't been as kind to mc as he is. like he fully thinks this is just ? the bare minimum or what you Should Do ? like "people from earth know about this yet don't have the decency to be mindful of it?" yes actually :/

he starts trying even harder and encouraging them even more than he already was

never ever lets mc beat themself up for struggling. whenever they're frustrated about their adhd, felix pulls them away and reassures them that they're doing their best and it's okay </3 it's tough but not impossible and he hopes they know he'll support them however he can :[

tags (can't tag? :() // @evanox @felixescellun @yelenalovegood @rimeliker @demon-paradise @pst-02 @diamo-chan @chubbywasouski @god-is-trans @sweet-milky-tea705 @felixismytrophywife @bananacockatiel @yoyo-campfire @azahelmz mon taglist if u want to join :0

#last legacy #felix escellun #fictif felix #fictif #last legacy felix

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vrisrezis · 3 years

Text

Aot crush and relationship hcs

Tw as I talk about suicide for reiners bit

- liking you makes him guilty (if you’re a soldier that is) and he doesn’t completely know what to even do about the situation

- as stares at you quite a bit and is self aware it’s obvious and tries not to too much

- you’re special to him

- probably tries to bring you along home with him and bertholdt before he even confesses he likes you but it probably works in his favor

- he honestly wants to marry you, a thought in his head before he even confesses his feelings

- not a blushy boy all the time but whos to say he can’t? You can totally make him blush

- when he finally decides to confess, he’s quite nervous about it but hey.. he’s lost a lot that was important you guys don’t have much time left

- a part of him wished he never became the armored titan so he’d have a longer time with you but at the same time if it weren’t for that he wouldn’t have met you (again if you’re a soldier but ok)

- if not hey it’s fine, he got to know you growing up and had a bigass crush on you that was so obvious that porco would purposelessly flirt with you to piss him off

- in a relationship, hugs and cuddles are quite often from Reiner you make him all soft and he’s such a cuddly man look at them big arms

- he’s the best hugger and cuddler tbh

- even if it looks weird, he likes to be the small spoon sometimes, just to be held and feel safe and protected for once

- he’s just so used to protecting you, which he loves and insists on doing but sometimes just wants to feel safe and protected by you

- likes patting your head

- gabi adores you so much, you guys are besties at this point

- gabis just really happy Reiner could find somebody to care and love for, it’s about damn time

- does not like you fighting, but if you have to then you have to

- will spoil you and buy you whatever you want, he does it cause he wants to spoil you though...

- when gabi finds this out you know she’s coming along for your dates more often to just get something

- dates are as often as you and Reiner can have them, which is more than most of the characters I’ve written for already

- you being with Reiner comes with a lot of emotional baggage that he doesn’t wanna put on you, he’s put it on a lot of people and he’s gotten a lot of people killed (who died in order to protect him such as bertholdt and ymir and etc)

- just be there for him, he doesn’t need you to understand he just needs somebody to not see him as a complete piece of shit so he can feel less guilty about it

- he has so much guilt :(

- so much to the point he doesn’t wanna live in this life anymore, but you being there makes it easier for him to have a will to live, for you

- at this point in his life he goes along with whatever you want

- he hates the idea of being separated from you at all

- yeah he’s a clingy boy in his adult years because he knows his time is coming up

- when he dies he says he wants you to look after gabi

- while the idea of dying sooner makes him feel better, can’t say he likes the idea of leaving you though he is constantly at a conflict between whether he’s happy to be the armored titan because he gets to protect you, die sooner etc or if he hates it cuz he can’t live longer to be with you and actually grow old with you

- even with his short life span, he wants to marry you

- it’s his final wish

- deep down Reiner wishes you could’ve started a family ;(

- he tells you to forget about him when he dies and start a family though tbh

- he loves you so much

(S4 eren does not exist, the reason for that is the whole reason he became a shit head, I won’t spoil for the non manga readers or those that aren’t caught up with the manga, but yeah)

- this blushy boy can’t help the nervousness he feels around you and doesn’t always know what to say around you

- you make him at a loss for words honestly which isn’t like him

- he thinks about approaching you often, but he gets so tongue tied

- mikasa usually has to do the talking and we all know she isn’t the most talkative gal ever

- he might try to impress you, even in his titan form he tries to impress you

- especially if it’s early on and it’s a new development he’s gonna wanna show it off

- doesn’t like being babied (as shown with mikasa) so he might wanna be the one to protect you and do things for you

- would die at being complimented or touched in anyway by you

- people don’t give him enough credit, he’s lost his mother, he has lost other people he grew to care for, he’s a protective boy and is scared to lose you or fail you

- he is oblivious to any feelings that might be returned

- he is usually one to cling around often as well

- he feels comfortable being vulnerable and crying in front of you

- but he still wants to seem like he at least knows what to do and he can protect you and whatnot but truth is he’s really scared he’ll fail you like he did with his mother and hannes

- this will be a slowburn for a longtime unless you say something eren is a loser with this shit

- even with armin and mikasas encouragements he is scared to tell you

- so he simply asks you questions to see if he can get any indication that you love him back, or at the very least like him

- it takes awhile since he’s dumb but when he gets an answer he wants, he asks you out

- being in a relationship with eren means him constantly being at your side and attached to you at the hip

- if not soulmates why always together ??

- FR though

- he likes having an arm around you if you’re shorter, let’s not forget as an adult he’s 6’0

- kisses your cheek often

- jealousy is also often, he has a lack of confidence compared to others sometimes but it’s nothing that’s an issue or anything

- you teach him what freedom really is, the freedom to love somebody in full, unconditionally, the freedom to have that feeling and it being the most amazing feeling

- play with his hair, he loves it

- not so much when it starts to get really long just cuz it gets knots sometimes but brushing his hair and putting it up it always nice and he appreciates it

- can we all agree he looks better with his hair up

- forehead kisses if he’s taller, it’s likely to be a newer development since he was quite shorter/average height back then

- while he hates being babied, he will let you take care of him if he really needed it

- but mainly likes taking care of you

- neck kisses don’t have to be a sexual giving hickeys thing and eren is living proof since he loves giving cute neck kisses

- likes to grab your hands and just kiss em

- first of all, keep in mind this man is like in his early/mid 30s and now like almost 40

- he’s not gonna have this schoolboy crush, he thinks it’s childish

- at least that’s what he says

- he can be caught staring at you often, very often

- like he’s so obvious damn, but it looks like he’s glaring at you

- only hange and Erwin can tell that he likes you with his stares gonna be real!

- finds excuses for you to be around him, maybe that’s having you in his squad now, maybe it’s helping him clean, whatever it is he’s getting you

- so maybe in his own way clingy

- he often talks to you in a similar fashion that he does with Erwin and hange, somewhat more “casual” in Levi’s terms, or kinda “teasing” as teasing as a levi can be and it not sounding like teasing

- deep down worries for you often and is protective, eren is already protective enough because of who he has lost just think about Levi he literally loses everyone

- tries not to be overwhelmingly protective, it can be annoying and would make him obvious

- also if you think it’s impossible to make him blush think again all you gotta do is hug him, he doesn’t even hug back but still!

- eventually decides you could die at any moment, life is short, especially in this world

- so he just asks you out and gets it over with

- so now you date!

- it’s hard not to worry for Levi with the constant bullshit he goes through, but it does feel nice to have somebody worry about him so he takes it

- he just doesn’t like the idea of you worrying about him too much since he’s supposed to be humanity’s strongest, he wants you to have some hope/faith

- likes patting your head, doesn’t matter how tall you are compared to him

- nobody would have the balls to call him short except for you

- we all know he isn’t good at his emotions but he will allow himself to be soft and vulnerable when y’all are alone

- doesn’t tolerate pda

- he also keeps the relationship mainly secretive because you could become a target, he doesn’t care if eren and the others know though

- likes kissing your hand a lot, or your neck/collarbone

- totally into pressing your foreheads together he finds it nice

- he at least can hug back now but that takes a long time lol

- Yes. you can squish his cheeks. Will he be extremely annoyed? Yes. Will he do anything about it? No.

- he’s so soft for you? God

- has nightmares about losing you often, so you share the same room so he feels better knowing you’re alive next to him

- or you comforting him back to sleep works

- will buy you things if he can, likes spoiling you when he can but not toooo much

- if you suggest turning into a titan he says no

- while a part of him is like yeah a guaranteed 13 yrs he also is like no he wanna spend the rest of his days with you he cannot allow it

- yeahhhh so maybe he’s got some naive hopes, but this time he thinks he can achieve them and finish this shit ... he can only hope

- not enough people write for my best boy, sad day ;(

- him with a crush though? Let’s be real he blushes quite a bit it annoys him though especially if you ever comment on it

- you just make him all mushy and god he loves you so much

- hand on his smushed cheek with a goofy smile and just stares at you, this happens all the time

- Sasha loves to remind him of that like everytime he does it

- very defensive of you, if anyone disrespects you they are catching these hands

- so it is likely fights with Jean bc he disrespected you (even if he was joking) are often

- he always tries to make you laugh, especially when you’re going through a rough time. He wants to see you smile and laugh and hates seeing you sad at all

- probably flirts with you, but he makes it sound like a joke so it’s hard to take him seriously

- he’s protective if he has to be, he’s not as strong as others but he can hold his own very well. (He’s canonly the fastest or at least one of the fastest, so he can get you out of situations fast)

- is overall even more goofy around you than he normally is because he just wants you laughing

- he can be clingy even while just being friends, often finds excuses to hang around you

- gets teased a lot by Sasha and Jean about his rather obvious crush

- sometimes he just daydreams about you so if anyone hears him sigh dreamily or zone out they know it’s cuz he’s thinking about you

- like seriously daydreams about you so much, the only time he isn’t is when he’s around you (which even then it still happens sometimes) or during like fights where he could die at any moment

- would die at being touched physically, or being complimented

- he will be like “yeah ofc I am haha ;D” in a joking way, but he is dying on the inside

- gonna be real confessing takes a longer time than anyone on this list like even eren and Reiner because he is so scared of rejection and losing the friendship you have he holds it so close to him

- it’s extremely important since it’s not often he ever likes somebody? Plus you make him feel the happiest he’s ever felt like? Honestly he cannot do without you man

- when he finally does (thanks to Jean and Sasha pushing him to do so) he’s a blushing mess

- dating him though is wonderful, he’s attached to you at the hip, you guys are always together he hates being separated

- it’s annoying for everyone else though

- if you’re not around for some reason he doesn’t stfu about you

- he gets sad when you guys are apart ;(

- cheek kisses are often since they’re easy to give (it’s likely he’s shorter than you so just... easy cheek kiss... or because of the huge burst of height he gets as he ages he’s extremely taller and again cheek kisses are easy)

- loves hugging you, or just having his arms engulfed around you in some way

- terrible pickup lines? Absolutely. He’s mainly joking but sometimes he’s being serious

- before he’d do anything to make you laugh it’s even moreso now that you’re dating

- hand holding is often

- he is good at comforting you if need it

- would like to just be held after a tough day

- likes to hug you from behind

- loves kissing your hands <3

- my god if anyone is blushy it is Jean but I think we know this based off his interaction with mikasa

- cannot stop staring at you, at least Connie has some control and is just not aware of it. Jean is aware of his staring but has no self control.

- unlike Connie who has the confidence to jokingly flirt Jean doesn’t have that confidence. Acts like a cocky bastard but actually isn’t.

- probably says he made a move, or that he’s going to but hasnt and everyone knows it

- gets extremely nervous around you, palms sweaty, knees weak (arms are heavy)

- if you ever got hurt, protective mode (especially if it was to protect him cuz Christ he will lose it)

- scared to lose you, he lost Marco he doesn’t wanna lose you too

- he loves you so much, its come to the point where he can’t live without you. If you died he wouldn’t know what to do and he would probably go crazy without you around

- he’s always worried about you and watching out for you

- probably really jealous even before dating you, he’s constantly worried other people will have a better chance with you (if he noticed somebody else likes you he is all on that, he knows)

- he will try to impress you, also because of his jealousy but still. He wants to prove he can be good for you romantically

- so he’s constantly playing up how strong he is until you kick his ass in a fight

- however despite how nervous he gets around you, after some time he eventually is kinda himself. He doesn’t wanna seem like a dick around you so he acts overly nice but eventually you get close enough to where he can be himself

- likes to tease you sometimes

- probably calls you an idiot, especially if you are one or act like one at all. He don’t mean it but you know that.

- eventually will confess, because he’s sick of Sasha and connies teasing and lame attempts to be wingmen

- they’re so obvious abt it btw Sasha will just be there like “hey Jean y/n looks very cute today don’t you think so?” And Connie just nudges him, “yeah tell them how cute they are today, I think they look adoraaable” and he’s like “yes you’re very cute today” and then they just leave and make it awkward for you both

- when he tells you how he feels he’s stuttering so much, it’s painful

- dating Jean is still awkward, he’s still nervous but moreso that he might fuck up somehow and you’ll break it off with him

- eventually yeah, cuddlebug

- loves hugs

- clingy af

- mans can cook, you already know he cooking you something as much as he can

- loves giving you forehead kisses if you’re shorter, if not then cheek kisses are cool too

- before you dated he’d probably try to nervously compliment you and just stutter and die inside, in fact there was a time he didn’t talk to you at all because he never knew what to say

- he tries not to impress you as much but still does and is a jealous boy but less jealous cuz you’re dating him

- he needs constant reassurance

- he’s such a sweetheart deep down he is willing to do so much for you

- still calls you an idiot or any other nickname but more comfortable with it now that you’re dating and likes teasing you

- also eventually tells you how much he loves and cares for you, and tells you the extents of his love

- he loves always being around you and gets annoyed when Sasha and Connie tag along but you probably don’t mind

- he loves you though so he’s like . Ok

- he’ll follow you wherever you go tbh

- he’s also a blushy boy at times, especially if you’re in close proximity in some way

- complimenting him? Do you want him to pass out?

- I feel like people act like he’s overly mean to his crush but I don’t think he’d be mean. He’d try really hard to get along with them to the point where he might act like he likes the same stuff they do

- he’s clingy in general w/ you. Honestly not being around you for even a little feels like forever. Sometimes it’s just months before he can see you again, that hurts him ;(

- he’s such a softie deep down I can’t

- super protective as well (again I think everyone in aot is but mannn porco is so protective)

- he has seen some shit he knows what happens to people and he doesn’t want it happening to you

- very loyal to you tbh

- will find any excuse to touch you physically even if it puts a blush on his face, the first time he did he died but still... he liked the feeling and doesn’t ever wanna miss that feeling

- wraps an arm around you “casually” and “friendly” like all the time

- since him and pieck are pretty much always together, now it’s the three of you that are always together

- pieck finds it sweet though, and loves that he has somebody he could care for as much as he does

- ofc she tries to wingman, whenever he’s not around she asks you what you think of him. If you think of him as something more or what

- it’s because of one of your talks with pieck about porco does she finally encourage porco to tell you how he feels

- it takes awhile, he’s mainly worried of rejection or that he’ll lose you while you’re dating

- when you’re dating though, an arm around you at all times. If not holding your hand. (Ofc if you’re not currently discussing important matters)

- but yeah doesn’t mind pda, just not too much

- holds your hand if he is not having an arm around you

- kisses you like a lot, ofc when nobody else is around (or just pieck is around) but yknow

- he’s clingy, likes spending alone time w/ you but again wouldn’t mind if pieck was there

- gabi loves aww’ing at you guys and tbh so does pieck

- it does embarrass him sometimes but he loves you so he deals with it

- speaking of love he loves to remind you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you, he is not making the mistake of not letting you know how much he adores you

- teases tf outta you, like Jean would call you nicknames like idiot or something but he adores you too much for mean nicknames

- to make up for it he has pet names

- he’s also pretty jealous too btw

- make him feel better with lots of smooches

- he likes squishing your cheeks, surprisingly doesn’t mind if you do the same to him =)

- when cuddling he puts his face in either your chest or neck and peppers little kisses there

- pickup lines .. yeah they’re so bad he doesn’t care as long as they make you either blush or laugh

- low key just ... gently holds you, he loves u so much he’s so soft

#aot #aot x reader #attack on Titan #attack on Titan x reader #snk #snk x reader #porco galliard #porco x reader #porco galliard x reader #jean kirschstein #jean kirschtein headcanons #jean kirschtein x reader #connie springer #Connie x reader #Reiner x reader #levi ackerman #Levi x reader #eren yeager #Eren x reader

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romanogers-lyrics · 3 years

Text

TFAWS EP 3: *screeching intensifies*

Bucky “Let me float you a hypothetical” Barnes.

Sam “Keep talking but I want it on the record that I objected to this plan” Wilson

Damn Zemo got a whole ass jet and garage of cars. How is it that his assets were still intact after he was arrested? Can you get Sam his loan please, daddy?

On a serious note, to all those saying the stakes in Civil War were fake bc tony and Steve made up I demand you look at all the ways team cap was affected by the accords.

The theme of “doing the right thing above all else” is clearly so important to both Sam and Bucky. Goddamn I love team cap 😪

Sharon is a wealthy art dealer and I love it!

People including me were so worried about her being just another love interest but she literally saves their asses twice!!! She has agency and motives entirely her own.

The entire Madripoor sequence was gorgeous. Nothing was half assed set and cinematography wise.

The baby bois all dressed up and ready to kill people 🔪

Sam caring and being worried about Bucky like 🥺

I am honestly so fucking proud of Bucky for being strong through Zemo’s orders. It had to be so hard. Can someone tell bucky “I’m proud of you”?

Goddamnit take your eyes off Zemo for one second...oh wait he didn’t betray them yet...

No! Sharon come back! *grabby hands*

Anyone notice how the CIA was the first to try and make the serum after Siberia. The CIA who literally locked up and hunted Bucky another super soldier then tried to lock up cap. Same agency. No wonder the world hates American imperialism jezusssss

Sam: “I made a mistake (with the shield)...” yes! Say it! “I should have destroyed it.” Goddamnit smdh.

I get the shield is a mixed legacy but you can’t also destroy the good and the potential for good. One of the examples is sitting right in front of you, Sammy. Also I REFUSE to believe that SAM “on your left” WILSON would destroy his one gift from cap. I suppose “I should have kept it in my house” doesn’t sound as dramatic🙃

Bucky says he’d take over the shield before letting it be destroyed. Hopefully as Sam warms to Bucky he’ll see how the shield can symbolize good.

Truly I believe symbols/mantles are just tools that you can use for good or evil. I believe that in Sam’s hand it could be used for good. It’s a lot to ask but I forget the saying but something like: “those who fear power are the best people to hold it”

It’s so hard to know who is the “bad guy” in this show. Probably the point I know. The freedom fighters have a seemingly good agenda but then they blow up a building. Smdh we don’t trade lives dontcha know...

Who is the power broker? What’s his plan? We haven’t met him/her yet...

Bucky likes 40s music and is PROUD of it. He wrote his redemption list in Steve’s notebook 😭

Fake!cap gets 0.0001% of the screen time 🤣😂(which I find so mf comforting 😘, maybe that’s why I like this episode so much). That being said gotta analyze the small time he did have... he literally thinks he’s TOO GOOD to speak in another language than English. Forces his friend to do the talking but still expects respect 😬. Fuuuuck u fake!cap 🖕🏻. I’m sorry my non American friends. We don’t know this white man 🙇🏻‍♀️

The ending THE ENDING had me YeLLiNg at the screen. Fakdkwbfjw I’m not gonna spoil it but I just-

On the writing/directing- I feel this episode had better pacing of rising action and drama. More showing less exposition dump which honestly is hard in marvel (some audience are walking encyclopedias and some just started watching this year).

The traumaaaaaaa in this whole show. I just wanna give everyone a 1 minute hug. Godddamn. Especially given the context of this show coming during the covid pandemic hits so hard 🙃

Fr though I know the topics in this show are triggering for some people so please take care of yourself ❤️

On another level I think it’s kinda funny how Steve thought he was so special for having the serum then it was like ACTUALLY Bucky is a super soldier OH AND there are more super soldiers in Siberia. OH and like 8 more super soldiers in TFAWS. Oh there’s ALSO a black super soldier. 😂 like Steve is still special because of his morals and personality but yeah... love you cap 😘

Please feel free share your thoughts! Would make my day! Love ya’ll💕

My episode 2 review:

#romanogers #mcu #captain america #marvel #avengers #black widow #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #capwidow #tfaws #tfaws spoilers #sambucky #sam wilson #sharon carter #bucky barnes

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leahseclipse · 3 years

Text

Thnks fr th Mmrs - (Event Fic)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: Not that I am aware of. (Please let me know if something should be added later on.)

Summary: Just two idiots in love, but none of them have the guts to say it. Eventually one of them will do it, a bit late tho- but, better now than never.

A/N: HELLO!! Here I am, roughly one month after my last fic, this work got all of us busy, which lead to a bit of panic on the last days, but (I think) we made it all in one piece.

This work is part of the Fic Swap organized by @imagining-in-the-margins, with the help of @sunlight-moonrise! I’ve had the opportunity to write for @spencer-reid-in-a-pool- which is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I love her so so so so much. This was awesome to do. (And yeah, for those who got the ref, the title is from one of fob's songs. I had NO other idea and found this one cool.)

Word Count: 8.7k

As much as I wished for it not to haunt me another day— I still had this one problem, written into my brain with bright red ink, unwashable, as it seemed.

I hated to recall that it still remained there, as if it was an unsolved case that someone would have put into archives and brought back up when they were clearing out the shelves.

Unfortunately, it didn’t get lost, I just forgot it was there, and my brain had the wonderful idea of presenting it back to me.

I appreciate it. That was— quite nice.

It wasn’t that I hated it, I just didn’t like the thought of having to deal with it at barely eight in the morning, just before actually dealing with the problem itself— in person.

That problem—couldn’t be someone else but the only one Spencer Reid, the resident genius of the team, or the baby sibling for some of my co-workers.

Once again, I do not dislike him, on the contrary, he’s one the closest person I have in my life to this day, I wouldn’t imagine my life without him.

The problem is mainly directed towards the love, sentimental kind of problem.

Especially when the concerned person isn’t aware of it.

It gets complicated when you can’t even hide your feelings when they’re near.

I get all nervous and weird when he’s in sight, the proofs are right there.

I remember them all, from the time I broke a mug when I tried to reach it as he was talking or when I almost fell down the stairs when he came in to work one day, looking like a literal god— and wasn’t even aware of it, the list keeps going on for miles.

And I’m still there, sitting with my feelings, waiting for something to happen.

I’m not even sure that he feels the same way.

I’m here, admiring him, thinking about what could happen if I could resolve myself to talk about it, if he felt the same way, but strangely and for an unknown reason; I can’t.

This issue has been happening all week, the last one, and probably the whole month.

It took me time to figure it out myself.

I only saw us as two good friends at first; we’d hang out together, had the same hobbies, have long conversations without caring about the time, to the point that people would think that we were together.

But I guess that I never realized that he could be more than just a good friend.

And as it couldn’t be more complicated, in these cases, if none out of the two dares to make a move, or talk, it won’t go much further.

Which is exactly what’s been happening at this moment..

I’ve been liking him for a while now, and my brain doesn’t know to do anything else but attack me with as many questions they can come up with at the same time whenever I dare to think about it.

What if he does like me, but only as a friend?

Is it going to be awkward between us?

Am I going to lose my friendship with him because of that?

What if he says no?

What am I left with? My stupid feelings that will keep wandering around, reminding me of my love failure?

If all of these are the things waiting for me till I decide to stop bottling it up, I better have to solve that, soon.

But at the same time, if I take a glance at the negative side, I’m just thinking that it’d be better to keep our friendship as it is, and just pretend as if he’s only a good friend I’m quite close with, not a possible lover.

Since when did I allow myself to see him as that? I wasn’t doing that before.

What caused my feelings to suddenly appear?

He’s always been nice to me, as with everyone else he’s close with, and as far as I’m aware of it, no one’s been in my situation.

If it ever happened, I’m sure that it was purely platonic and didn’t go as far as I’m at.

It’s as bad as a math problem.

Kind of ironic, considering I both suck at figuring out how to say I love someone, deal with feelings, all that love stuff; and at maths.

But, as I think about it further, he didn’t do anything to keep me from crushing on him either, even if he probably didn’t do it because he liked me.

There’s a 50% possibility.

He’d take me in his arms to reassure me, help me with paperwork when I was tired, offer to drive me home, re-filled my mug for me, act close, and by close- not as close as he is with the others.

A different kind of close.

So...who wouldn’t think that way, that he could like me?

He could possibly like me, but about that, I don’t have a single clue to know if he really does.

I do want to try to ask him, in one way or another, but the thing is that , if he doesn’t like me, what is going to happen next?

Awkward silence?

Is he going to try to reject me as nicely as possible to not hurt my feelings?

It could be really nice if anything would help me to make all of this mess any clearer.

I don’t want to end up drawing away from him because I can’t help but be in love with him whenever I look at him, but at the same time, I can’t say that I am, in case he’s not in love with me.

Spencer’s one of the most important people in my life; I wouldn’t imagine a day where I wouldn’t talk to him, and even if we’re busy, I try to say hi to him, at least.

I can’t quite imagine not having him ramble about his favorite subject, happy as hell because I’m interested, listening to him, and even participating in it.

I don’t want all of this to stop because of a mistake I could cause.

So, this week will be the one.

I’ll somehow resolve myself to bring up the subject.

I’m sure he’ll understand, he knows me better than anyone else in the whole team, has always been there when I needed someone, he’s always listened when I needed to talk, he helped me out with a lot of issues.

He’s always been understanding, whether the issue would concern him or not, so this shouldn’t be a big problem.

It’ll be fine.

I just have to relax sometimes.

I’m stressing out too much, and I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t stress that much about that, or any subject he might think about.

I even wonder if Spencer already noticed the changes in my behavior and is just waiting for me to talk about it because he doesn’t dare to talk about it as well.

He could feel the same way.

He could.

There’s a chance, a good one, I guess.

It can end well, and I have to keep thinking about the good outcome.

There’s no way he’d react badly, I know him,— Spencer is not the kind of guy to do that, in general.

I trust him on that.

So, today...or later, will be the right one.

It’ll go well.

It’ll be win or lose, basically.

I sighed as I looked at myself for the hundredth time for the past ten minutes, finally resolving myself to leave the apartment before I’d end up being late.

Which isn’t something I’d like to happen.

My ‘love problem’ counts as at least ten problems more than getting yelled at by a superior (if I’m not overreacting, at least) so I don’t really need that to happen, on top of that.

I have never been delighted to walk into the office, only to find paperwork from last week waiting for me.

We usually had the whole ‘Garcia runs into the office and throws papers at us before we gather in the conference room and immediately go on a jet at whatever unpleasant hour’ or just purely lazy days where none of us have the strength for any kind of celebration.

But today happened to be a calm one, we just had to do whatever task we had left to do before we can allow ourselves to go back home to either sleep all day to fix our long broken sleep schedule, or do whatever event we might come with, such as dates or trying to find a guy in a party, for some of us.

It’s nice that we don’t have to worry about when we’ll be able to come back to work, we just go in, do our task and go home at whatever hour, a decent one.

I’d say that this happened to be more than convenient -in a way- for Spencer and I.

More time for talking, hanging out together, mostly what we do when not on an active case.

If I’m not mistaken, I think that I may have heard one of them saying that we were dating because of how frequently we’d be found together.

I did want to say we were dating as a joke, but I was afraid that it’d end up being awkward after that if- as said earlier when I woke up-, he didn’t feel the same.

But at the same time, whether he feels the same way or not, I don’t really have a reason to think about that as Spencer wouldn’t react badly.

Knowing him, he’d probably play along.

At my arrival at the bureau; everyone was scattered a bit around; which wasn’t to be seen on a case day, usually.

We just had to hope we wouldn't have a surprise case to ruin it all.

As I greeted everyone before settling at my desk, I noticed one person missing.

Spencer wasn't usually late, so...I didn't really know what might make him late.

Knowing him, he may have woken up late because he had watched tv till 2AM, and ran to the coffee shop to not look dead at his arrival.

Yep, that’s him.

Let’s hope he won’t break a bone when he’s going to attempt to run to not be late, it’s...yeah.

So, don’t rush Spencer, it’s calm as hell here, you don’t need a trip to the ER so soon in the morning.

“Oh, hey!”

I turned around to be faced with Spencer, papers in hand. “When did you get there? I didn’t see you when I arrived like...five minutes ago. I thought you weren’t here yet.”

“Oh, I was doing copies. I’m sorry if I worried you, I should have sent a text.”

“No- It’s okay, don’t worry. You’re here...now.”

“Yeah, I’m here. Do you have a lot of paperwork? Figured out we could talk in between.” He asked.

“No, I don’t have a lot, and...sure, I could use a talk- I mean uh...talk, yeah.”

That was a shitty save.

“I’m glad, I didn't want to bother you if you were busy.”

“Even if my whole desk was covered in papers, you know I’d always find a minute to talk. I get easily distracted.”

Please don’t take it the ‘love’ way, or just...don’t think I get distracted by you in a ‘not-a-friend’ way— gosh, I’m not gonna be able to save it with whatever sentence.

“You know that’s the same for me. I always have a hundred subjects popping up just when I try to focus.”

“Yeah, same. It’s a bit...annoying.”

“Depends. It’s not really when you’re in them.” Spencer admitted.

Is this an attempt at killing me right on the spot? You’re really going to kill me by being so damn nice.

“Oh...really? I didn’t know.”

That was shit.

“Well uh...now you do that it’s not always annoying up there and that’s your part of the non-bothering stuff.” He pointed out.

“That’s the- same for you, yeah.” I answered, slightly nervous.

“Didn’t know we had that too in common, that’s funny.”

Not so sure about the other detail you don’t know about-

“We learn new stuff everyday at least. I guess it’s...useful to know? I don’t know.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, there’s not much to do with that information, it’s more of a...fact thing-y. You know I like that stuff.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Who doesn’t?”

“Yeah, everyone does at this point, but that’s a quarter of what they know, I think that you’re the only one that knows the most about me, not everyone.”

You have to stop before I drop dead on the floor right now.

“I have to remind you that it’s kind of the same for you.”

“People are definitely thinking we’re together at this point, we’re pretty close so they have every right to believe that.”

“Does it...bother you?”

“Oh, no, not really. You’re a pretty girl so that’s kind of...nice that they think that a nerd like me could be in a relationship with you.”

Okay, I just stopped functioning right now.

What am I supposed to even say? You’re a literal god, you’re handsome as HELL-

“Oh- you’re uh- good looking so, that’s...normal I guess.”

“You think so?” He asked, unsure.

Oh, please. Tell me you’re kidding, it’s impossible that no one hasn’t told you of your AMAZING handsomeness, the fact that you’re amazingly-

Yeah, we got it y/n.

“Yeah, really.” I confirmed.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“No problem, Spence.” I said, as we both went to our respective tasks.

At least I avoided a heart attack, that’s what matters, he just has to stop being so cute and pretty, all the time because I’m gonna have trouble acting like I’m not in fucking love with him if he keeps going.

Just- breathe, and focus on your work.

We’re gonna talk together, and it’s gonna be okay.

There’s no reason that a problem would occur, I just had a talk with him, and it went...almost perfectly smooth.

The ‘almost’ part is when I almost had a heart attack, which isn’t the first I’ve had with him, and won’t be the last.

If he would just stop being so handsome all of the time.

I sighed, reading the paper all over again as I lost focus...again.

As I was reading, my pen in hand and the tip of it slightly touching the sheet— I didn’t even realize that I had been scribbling on the paper, as if I was in middle school and bored in class all over again.

It was kind of….fun.

I didn’t get to do that everyday, so I’d say that it was diversifying compared to any other stressful day where these...doodles wouldn't even happen or to be thought about because of the amount and importance of the work.

I still think about him, even when I’m busy as hell though.

He’s always in my thoughts, I don't know how he does it because I’m pretty sure I don’t do that with anyone else in the bureau.

Is that kind of over thinking considered as an obsession or not at this point? I’m not quite sure of it anymore, but...it's not "psychopath, stalker-like", he's just an important person that matters to me.

I just really like him, that’s all.

He also told me that I tend to be in his mind often, so...I guess we're even.

I guess so.

“Hey, is everything...okay? You’ve been staring blankly for a...while. Is that my-” He started to point out.

I panicked, quickly hiding the papers with other ones. “What? Oh, uh...I was-” I blurted out. “...thinking.”

“You’ll probably have to...print out new ones. I don't think Hotch will accept papers with scribbles, you know. I can print out some copies for you, if you want?”

“No- It’s fine, I can go, thanks for asking! It’s nice of you but uh- I’m going.” I answered, as I abruptly clicked back on the software to print out copies, and walked to the breakroom after...awkwardly waving.

Why the hell was I scribbling down his name like I was...a middle schooler having a crush on her classmate?

I have no idea why, but this was...kind of embarrassing at the moment.

I seriously have to stop worrying about each thing that happens.

He probably didn’t care as much as I did.

I shook my head as I arrived in the breakroom, now empty as Luke and Matt had previously left from what I saw a bit ago when I looked in that direction.

I didn’t mind, at least I’d avoid embarrassment because of how weird my expression probably looks.

So, everyone, please don’t come now, wait until I pick up my papers, that’d be more than appreciated.

Should I call Spencer?

I don’t want to be a bother, I know he enjoys spending time alone off work.

Would he be happy to hear me?

I don’t know.

I’ll call him later, if I’m settled on it.

I’ve been pacing in that small apartment of mine for at least the last couple of minutes, or maybe an hour, I don’t have the habit of noting the duration of my nonsense usually.

I don’t even know why I’m pacing again and again just to decide about a call.

I’m sure he doesn’t even do that.

Does that mean it makes me...crazy?

Not necessarily.

It could.

Maybe.

I’ll just- whatever.

Do something useful like cleaning your apartment and answering emails, and you’ll see if you have a minute to spare to call Spencer.

That works that way.

See, you can stop stressing.

Just do another task to distract yourself and have less things to worry about, so it’ll be easier to decide about the ‘call matter’ thingy.

I did not call him, if that’s what anyone wondered.

The only call I made was with Penelope, after she called me numerous times to ask me about the books we’ve been yelling about for a few weeks.

I had supposed she had also wanted to talk about Spencer, as the whole office had been conspiring about our possible relationship.

But, she held it off, and cut the call after saying ‘I better hang up or I’ll be talking about the book for another decade’.

Kind of looks like me and my thoughts with Spencer.

I hope I’ll get to let all of those out, if we ever have the chance to have a talk about the feelings matter.

I never had that many ‘things matters’, I’m even inventing some new words along the way.

Crazy what love can do, if that’s what started it.

I can’t recall that either, I’ve been more focusing on the matter itself than the name of it.

Love will do, I guess.

“What are you up to?” I asked, peering over Spencer’s desk.”

“Well, technically...nothing new. I’ve been reading that for the past week, I tend to do that with books I really like.” He closed it, looking at me. “Is that weird?”

“Not at all. I’m doing the same with shows and movies, and even- who cares if it’s weird? If we like doing that, we don’t have to worry about what others might think about it.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t worry that much.”

“I worry about small things too, you’re not alone on the ride.” I pointed out, sitting back at my desk.

“Glad to know I have someone I’m sure won’t judge on that.”

“I would never judge you on anything, well- aside from the ‘sugar’ matter we’ve been having for a while, nothing else.”

“You’ll be debating about it for a while then. I’m not about to stop having my ‘sugar with my coffee’, as Morgan says.”

“The amount you put in it is disgusting.”

“Not to me.”

“Well it is to me, and probably everyone else. How do you not get sick?”

“No idea. I’ve been doing that for years and never had problems of any kind. Maybe you’re all the ones that are weird.”

“Hey! You’re weird too. If you wouldn’t be, I wouldn’t be talking with you.”

“I’m less weird than you, at least.”

“Pff. Just get back to work, weirdo.”

I love you, weird genius.

No, I didn’t get to talk to him about the…’love matter thingy’.

We did spend a lot of time together but I didn’t get the nerve to find a way to ask, instead of going straight to the thing.

I have no idea if I was imagining things or if it was real but...he did look a lot like me, and...his look wasn’t the kind of look you’d give a friend.

He also seemed...nervous, I guess?

Would it be wrong for me to think that he could possibly like me, as well?

That’s better than always thinking he doesn’t, a little hope doesn’t hurt, it’s always nice to think on the bright side for once.

Maybe I could be right.

I kind of hope I am.

I didn’t think till now that it would be such a relief to see my whole desk cleared from most of the papers.

I’ve turned in most of my reports- and that kind of sounds like I’m talking as if I’m in school and turning in assignments at the end of the day to be honest.

All of the papers that laid around were gone, and it kind of seemed like the work day had reached its end.

It kind of was a nice day, it’s nice to have days like that from time to time to take a break from all of the stress and shit from cases.

As I had gathered back all of my stuff, and all that was in mind was to walk out of here and rush to my apartment.

Just as I turned around, Spencer was standing in front of me; I didn’t even see him come by.

“You- gosh, you really scared me. Speak up next time.” I said, nervously laughing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to- Did you uh...get hurt?”

“No, I didn’t have- get anything. I’m okay, thanks- Are you going home too?”

“Yeah, yeah, I am and...I also-”

“You also…?”

“I wanted to talk to you...again, about something.”

I feel like that ‘something’ might be the ‘something’ I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for weeks.

“Uh, go ahead, I guess. I can’t really start the conversation as I have no idea what it’s about…”

“Okay, uh...I’ve been uh, wanting to ask, for a while, if you wanted to hang out, sometimes. I know we do, pretty often, but I’d be like...hanging out together, maybe dinner...” He looked elsewhere, searching for his words.

“...you mean a date? Is that...what you want to say?”

“Yeah, that! I just- I thought I’d be weird to ask you, just like that. I mean...it’s kind of random and I thought that- you understood the thing.”

Please, that’s what I’ve been thinking about for a decade, how could I not understand that-

“It’s not weird, I’m just...surprised?”

“Oh, I’m- glad? I just...didn’t think you’d accept and...I was kind of afraid that I’d make a fool of myself by asking you that.”

“Wait a minute though- You’re really asking me out, right now? I’m not making fun of you, it’s just still...wow.”

I just thought you would never do it, or that I’d be the one asking and receiving a negative answer.

“I swear that I’m not. I’d never joke about that, especially to you, and since I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I guess I was afraid of the answer.”

“Please don’t laugh, or anything but...kind of the same thing was happening to me, about you.”

“So...we’ve been thinking about it, and none of us knew? Wow, that’s...I didn’t think that was happening all this time.”

“Seems so.”

“Have you been uh...thinking about it for a while, like me?”

“Kind of...yeah. I’ve...liked you for a while but, didn’t think you’d be interested. I’ve had a lot of male friends that were acting like you, but weren’t interested in me, so I thought...that was the case.” I admitted.

“You have no idea how much I appreciate you, and not only in a friendly way. I’ve liked you for a bit, and as I said, I was afraid of what you’d say, so...I told myself that waiting for the right moment would be better.”

“....yeah, same. I don’t think we’d ever get to have a conversation about it but- did you uh...resolved yourself to do it because of…”

“..the paper thing? Yeah, and no. It’s been on my mind for a bit. I just thought this would...kind of- be the right moment. I know that it's not the ideal place, but I just thought, it’s now or never.”

“At least...it’s cleared out?” I asked.

“Yeah, it is. I’m glad we know about...the feelings stuff and all.”

“You have no idea how I am. This is- wow, sorry, this was kind of sudden, and I...didn’t think that’d happen. Just this morning I thought about talking about it somewhere this week and now- did you read my expression or something and guessed or…? Because just as I thought about it, you talked to me.” I explained.

“I guess so. I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, and...I didn’t want to wait more as I wouldn’t have ever talked, as for you.”

“Would you have waited another week for me to tell it or would you have stepped in before?”

“I think it would have depended on where we would be. Because, if we were outside, I think that I would have preferred something nicer than a bureau, you know. Even if I like it, to be honest. But, I wouldn’t say it’s the best setup to ask someone on a date?”

I shrugged. “Not the best, but, it’s better than- I don’t know...a grocery store or something?”

“Yeah- it’s better.”

“At least you’ll get a better shot at asking me out on another date after that one.”

“I’ll definitely do better.”

“I trust you on that one. But- I want to home right now though, I kind of miss my couch...and my fridge, maybe.”

“I’m with you on both ones- after you.” Spencer offered, as the elevator opened, stepping in after me.

“Be careful with the whole gentlemen thing, you’re gonna have to bring me coffee everyday soon.”

“I’m already doing that with mine, bringing yours won’t hurt. You’ll probably have a bill at the end of each month.”

“In your dreams, Reid.”

The care that had been put by Spencer on our first date was truly amazing.

It looked like he planned it months ago, it could almost be seen as a kind of proposal if someone else would see it.

He insisted on picking me up himself, did not tell me a single thing about where we were going till we were there, which was weird...but made it exciting and fun.

I have to say that I was...quite nervous too.

I never even thought that I’d be here, on a literal date with Spencer Reid himself; I’ve had dreams about it, thought about it, but never thought it’d actually happen.

None of this was a joke, he was more than serious about it.

I don’t think that even one thought I had looked like this moment, he insisted for it to be an awesome first date we’d both remember for a while, and I wish it could have lasted longer.

Time went by, way too fast that when we both saw the time, it was already 10PM.

As we could have work, and that sleeping early would be convenient if we happen to be called in early, we decided to end the night there, even if none of us really wanted to.

“We should stay in next time. That way we won’t be tired, you know. It’s kind of late.” Spencer pointed out, as we walked to my place.

“You sure? It’s gonna be Grey’s Anatomy or whatever cheesy tv show I watch for the night.”

“I don’t mind. I’ll probably try to point out the mistakes, it’ll be like...a game night you know.”

“Oh, yeah. It could. But, I think I’m gonna be the one to lose as the only ‘medical knowledge’ I have from that show is from that show. And, as Google isn’t to be trusted, I’m gonna lose.”

“It could also include a...spot cheesy moments thing.”

“Season one is full of it. We’re gonna have a lot to talk about. I would have proposed Star Trek but apparently, there’s not much scientific errors, it’s pretty accurate from what I heard. We could settle on Doctor Who if we can’t decide.”

“Would you like it though? You told me you don’t watch it usually.”

“You could tell me about it, it could be good. We could also try Supernatural, it’s kind of mystery stuff with paranormal stuff?”

“Ghosts, spirit and the whole heaven/hell thing?”

“Yeah, there’s a lot going on. And...it's kind of in the title. I’d have to warn you though, I’m kind of obsessed with the main leads, so don't get jealous or something.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. It’s a judgement free-zone.”

You raised your eyebrows, staying silent for a split second.“...you judged me when I didn’t add any sugar in my coffee.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Spencer, please- you looked at me weirdly, as if I committed a crime.”

“Not in a mean way- I just put a ton, so, seeing someone putting none was weird.” He admitted.

“I’m judging you on that then. You’re putting way too much in that. It’s sugar with liquid at this point, it's melted candy.”

“I hate the strong taste.”

“Then drink tea.” I proposed.

“It’s too light.”

“Just end up drinking water.” I said, running out of ideas.

“No, I prefer to stay with my sugar with liquid.”

As you wish.” I agreed, as we came to a stop.

“So...we’re there.”

“Yep, we are. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Spencer repeated, coming forward to plant a kiss on my cheek. “Have a good night.”

“Spencer, you missed. You kissed my cheek.”

“Oh I- are you fine with it…?”

“Just kiss me, Reid.” I replied back, while one of his came on my left cheek, the other laying on my waist as he stepped forward once again, kissing me on the lips.

All of it was perfect.

It was only the two of us, the world around us had froze.

My arms ended up winding up around his neck as he brought me close, his warmth, smell invading my emotions, my whole thoughts.

I had totally forgotten about everything else, he was the center of my attention, I couldn’t allow myself to go on another track when he happened to be near me, this close.

Never have I thought that months ago, as I was crushing on a man I thought wouldn’t like me, would actually like me, and kiss me.

We were literally starting to date.

This better be real, I better not be in a coma after whatever accident I might have had.

Because this— this is way better than a dream, than I imagined.

I would be so mad if that wouldn’t end up to be real— but it is.

All of the things I’d feel, whether it was him, his hand on my cheek radiating his warmth on me, his breath, his lips slotting against mine, his arm enlacing my waist, the grip on my waist gentle, the feeling of the fabric of his jacket against my fingers, or even my own feelings, all of the memories, thoughts floating around, there was just way too many things to describe, but I could still list them all of a sudden if I were to be asked about the aftermath of it.

I couldn’t wish for a better moment like this.

I think that the fact that this moment was probably totally unexpected made it even more special for the two of us.

Neither of us will forget, ever.

This moment totally replaced the message written in bright red ink that reminded me that I still had these feelings laying around that I kept pushing away by fear of rejection.

The rejection seemed long gone, for me, he happened to be having similar feelings, probably fearing a negative event as well.

Turns out nothing bad happened for the both of us.

Only our truest desires, what we wished for but didn’t dare to as the bad ones were stronger.

The bad pushed the joy we could have really lived if the feelings were mutual.

And now, it is.

We both know that the other likes us, that the bad is long gone behind us.

I could tell that, from my side, because of this moment.

I didn’t want it to stop, ever.

I wished to live this kind of event that could give the chance for all of these amazing feelings to fill my whole mind.

No more fear, pain, sadness, just calm, reassuring, soothing feelings.

The ones that make you feel that nothing can hurt you anymore, that make you feel safe, happy, this is all I’ve ever wanted.

I didn’t even count how many minutes that lasted, I was too focused on...the wonderful person in front of me and all the feelings that came with it.

It was quite the overwhelming one, and for once, it wasn’t an unpleasant overwhelming, it made me feel happy.

Mostly because I’d never thought feelings could be so deep, numerous, amazing to think about, and then, even more happy feelings would pop up again, and again.

I’d almost forgotten we were still in front of my building, and that it was...really late.

I almost think that I didn’t remember the world had kept moving, that people walked by to see two people making out in the street.

I guess I sort of apologize, but don’t really care.

I was in my moment and did not care if anyone saw us.

When we both slowed down in our movements, ceasing after a few seconds; I slightly stepped back, letting his hand rest on my cheek for a little bit more when I put mine on his.

I simply didn’t want the feeling of his warmth to ever stop.

I did not want any of what this moment made me feel to ever stop after I had to experience it with no one but a person that deeply matters to me.

The only person I’ve ever wanted to feel this kind of amazing feelings with.

I didn’t want it to stop.

Not yet.

Not ever.

It was amazing.

He was amazing.

As we both started to take our breaths back, when his hand dropped from my cheek to my waist, joining the other, the feeling of looking in his eyes once again was astounding.

It was just a glance.

But, when you happen to be in total love, it isn’t just a simple glance, it’s always a special one.

What you feel about it won’t ever change.

I’m sure of it, in my case.

I wish I could be looking at him forever.

But...not that I want to ruin the moment but, it was really late, and windy.

Not the best time to look at each other for hours.

After a certain amount of time, Spencer had been the one to briefly break contact, before maintaining it once again, but with a different emotion plastered on his face this time.

“I’m sorry for...before, I panicked and I-”

Okay, here goes nothing.

“I don’t want you to go yet.” I admitted. “That's kind of the reason...I said and did that too. I wanted to kiss you but, it was also to feel you close a bit more, a four hour date wasn’t enough and I don’t think it’ll ever be.”

He seemed surprised at my confession.

Just say something, I hate it when there’s a blank.

Especially when I just said this to you.

“...if you want me to stay, just tell me.” He said. “I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me, as long as you want. Even for a whole week, a month, hell- forever, let’s be crazy.”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just feel like I would be bothering you.”

“You’re not. I’m actually happy to get to stay more. It’s not bothersome at all, on the contrary. I’m happy to stay.”

I’m happy too.

“Thanks for that. I really...appreciate it.” I admitted.

“The pleasure’s mine.”

“Wow, you’re playing it ‘gentleman-like’ now?”

“I guess so. I would also say it can be because I’ve seen a bit too much of Miraculous Ladybug when I was babysitting kids. Cat Noir’s nice.”

“You know lines of Cat Noir?”

“Yeah, I picked up a few one.”

“Really? You’re gonna say them all the time now?”

“Of course, my lady.”

“I’m never gonna get used to that. It’s weird hearing you say that.”

“But it’s romantic, there’s a lot in the TV shows you watch. The characters do that too.”

“But you’re not one of the characters, you’re Spencer Reid. You’re yourself. You don’t need to throw Cat Noir lines to charm me or something. Just you...is enough.”

“You sound like ladybug...and also Marinette.”

“We’re kind of them- well- kind of, as what we deal with isn’t...close to a kid’s show, but, we save people.”

“Oh, we should-”

“No, I’m not dressing up as ladybug for halloween.”

“...can’t say I didn’t try.”

“There’s no way I’m dressing up in a suit-” I argued.

“We would have been equal, I’d be in one too.”

“I’m not doing it-”

“...guess I’ll have to come up with something else then.”

“Yeah. We have at least six months to think about it so...that’s enough for me, I guess.”

“It’s short. We’re gonna end up one week before.” He complained.

“Stop worrying about that- just get inside with me, it’s getting cold.”

“I could give you my sweater and jacket, I don’t mind.”

“Just- get inside Reid.”

“I was joking!”

“Sure you do. Do you think I’d stay outside for another hour?”

“I just thought it was because you were cold-”

“I’m gonna check if you don’t have a fever when we get up- you’re out of your mind.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Nah, you’re a bit tired, from what you said.”

“I didn’t actually mean it.”

“Sure, let’s get you to bed, grandpa.”

"I'm 32-"

"So?"

"I don't see why you call me grandpa."

"You don't have the reference? The meme, you know?"

"No, I don't."

"You're disappointing, Reid."

“Is it going to get worse in later seasons? It’s too calm.” Spencer pointed out.

“Uh...possibly. Season one is pretty calm, not- entirely, but...okay compared to later ones. There’s a lot going on in Supernatural, and it gets pretty hard when you get attached to the characters. The writers like to hurt us.”

“They’re taking all of the pain of the fans on twitter as inspiration.”

I snorted. “I’m really starting to wonder if it’s not the case at this point.”

“I noticed they tend to do that at the end of seasons too. They throw in a cliffhanger where you think that the character is going to die, and then, they make you wait months...just to show they had a scratch on the arm.” He explained.

“It’s true...they did that a lot of times. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen after season one though. I bet it’s only going to get worse.”

“Probably. I bet they won’t be extra nice with letting them live peacefully.”

“You…” I stopped in my sentence, yawning. “...said it. Sorry- I’m a bit tired.” I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Oh you should probably- go to bed, yeah. I'll leave the bed to you, you know."

"Why would you sleep on the couch?"

"Uh...well, uh...I don't know."

"We're sleeping in the same bed, it's not the end of the world."

"...are you uh- sure?"

"I guess. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

“I just figured that...it’d be sort of embarrassing, or even awkward for you.”

“I don’t get why it would be, it’s okay. Plus, you deserve to sleep comfortably if you’re tired as well.”

“Okay, then.”

I paused for a bit, thinking about a detail. “...It’s probably stupid to ask, but...which side do you usually prefer? Just so that, there aren't any problems if you sleep on a specific one, you know.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be taking you side or anything, as you said, if you prefer a specific...one.”

“Why did you think I asked? And, in case we prefer the same, we’ll just settle on one, that's all I can think of.”

“...it wasn’t stupid to ask though.” Spencer reassured.

“Really? I...it’s not everyday that I ask that kind of stuff, especially as this situation doesn’t happen everyday. But, at least, I can say that I’ve already done it. It’s...something.”

“Yeah, same. It’s just...I don’t know, what would you call it?”

“Half stupid, half nice? I have no idea as well.” I admitted.

“...we can just leave it there, we’ll never find it.”

“True- Are you coming, or doing a whole routine like drinking water, going to the bathroom, tidying up everything, checking mails and all of the possible stuff that you could do?”

“Do you really think I could be doing that?”

“Kind of. Wouldn’t be surprising if you were doing that. But I’d say it’s a waste of time, if it’s 10PM, you end up going at 11:30 something. The least I’d do would be...water and bathroom. But again- I won’t criticize, it’s fine with me. Just don’t make hella noise.” I detailed.

“I just...check mails...a lot, yeah. Also uh...I make sure everything is ready in case we get called in so I don’t rush; so, I do a lot of stuff. But as if it’s a calm week, I guess I can skip getting the bag ready, and probably mails as I answer them later.”

“That’s...good to know at least. Less stress before going to bed.”

“Kind of. I tend to do all of the stuff I forget all day at night, which causes me to do a lot of stuff, being afraid that they won’t be done on time, so...it’s nice to have less stress.”

“Really nice after what you said.” I pointed out. “Are you sure you’re okay though? We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world, if that’s the thing that bothers you.”

“No, you’re not….it isn’t- It’s not the problem. I just, never really...did it, and...I have no idea why I’m stressing over that. It’s kind of stupid as we’re just gonna sleep.”

“You’ll be out like a light in two minutes Spence, it won’t be a problem if that’s what stresses you out. Also, it kind of is...the feeling you can’t describe, and me neither. It’s like...stress, awkwardness, a mix, you know.”

“Exactly, it’s kind of that.” He agreed.

“Didn't know we were thinking the same about that. Well, I guess we’ll see. We should go before it’s too late.”

“Yeah, we...probably should.”

“Relax up a bit. Just chill.”

“I’m perfectly relaxed.” He argued.

“No you’re not. Stop lying, I don’t even need to profile you to know. You’re like a balloon ready to explode.”

“I really don’t see what you’re talking about, y/n.” He muttered.

“Did anyone tell you that you’re very convincing? Turns out they were lying, genius.”

“I think I’m the one freaking out now.” I admitted, out of the blue.

“I’m not really freaking out anymore. I guess I gave all of my stress away to you.”

“It’s quite thoughtful, thanks.”

“Maybe you’re just hot, who knows. I’m fine on my side.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not hot, it was freezing cold outside, so it is inside. I know when it’s hot and when it’s not.”

“Uh then...try to take deep breaths? I don’t know what you could do.”

Why don’t you try to be less handsome, huh?

“I think it’s the awkwardness and stress mix kicking in, as I said earlier.”

“Do you want to talk for a bit? Maybe it’ll calm you down.”

“Sure, why not.” I agreed, turning to the other side to face him.

That guy has to realize that his face is what’s distracting me.

“What did you think about today?” He asked.

“It was...really fun. Quite more than I expected I think. I guess I’d be down for other ones.”

“I can’t guarantee I’m not going to slide one or two essays in it though.”

“I’m fine with it. You know listening to you...never bothered me. I don’t think it’ll ever bore me. Who doesn’t like a few facts?”

“Even when it’s all about science or pagan rituals? The cop looked at me weirdly and even asked what kind of doctor I was. Someone else had to talk to revive the conversation.”

You bet, not everyone’s used to it.

“I do remember that one. You looked pretty...proud about it when you finished the sentence. I swear that I would have revived it first or would have kept going. I know a bit about it. What did you say to creep him out?”

“I think that...there was candle wax on the tree, and I said the usual stuff, as a matter of fact, it was used to protect the birth day celebrants from demons, and that the celebration got rejected by Christianity as a pagan ritual’. That’s when he asked.”

That totally explains.

“It wasn’t embarrassing, don’t worry. He just...wasn’t used to that. That almost happens with every new person you meet. I’m out of the ‘almost’ I guess. I was surprised, but got kind of interested.”

“Again, that was surprising. Not everyone would have reacted like you did. I know the others try not to hurt me and listen to it until it’s enough.”

“It’s distracting sometimes, you can always keep going. But not too late, 2AM essays aren’t my thing. Sleeping at 2AM is.”

Getting to sleep at 2AM doesn’t even matter anymore, I’m just glad to be able to sleep.

“I’ll try then.”

“You better.” I warned, pulling my jacket closer to my body as I felt a few chills.

His gaze hadn’t left my figure, hence, he noticed. “...you’re still cold?”

“A bit, I guess.”

“Do you uh...want to...get closer?”

“If you don’t mind, I don’t know. I don’t want it to be embarrassing.”

“It’s not, I swear. I just don’t want you to freeze, I guess.” He admitted, raising one of his arms.

“Okay, thanks.” I slowly got closer, not wanting to invade too much.

“I said you could get closer, that is barely closer than before. Come here.” He pointed out, which I responded to with a sigh as my head ended up resting against his chest. “I told you it wasn’t weird.”

“I thought it’d be for you.” I answered.

“It’s not...anymore. It’s actually fine...now that you’re here.”

“...really? You were kind of stressed about it just a bit ago.”

“Don’t remind me, it’s embarrassing again now. Do as your brain is a computer and delete the file.”

You’re the computer, I’m not.

“It’s fun when you react like that, why would I stop?”

“That’s offending.”

“You, offended? I don’t think so. You don’t sound like it, you’re acting.”

“That hurted my feelings even more, I think my heart might die because of such cruelty. You should be careful with your words, my lady.”

“You’re starting to look like Cat Noir. It’s cheesy. I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“Maybe I am Cat Noir, who knows.”

“Guess you’re gonna have to give back your power, you’re not supposed to say it.”

That shows how many nights I’ve spent babysitting kids, especially Matt’s, they watch it way too much.

“Never said I was.”

I kind of wish you were, it’d be fun to see you in that costume.

“Spencer, you sound like him now. You’re definitely him, can’t change my mind about that.”

“I just sound like him, doesn’t mean I am.”

“I have the last word, stop.”

“Okay, I’m stopping. But you have to sleep first, I’m not sleeping until you’re asleep.”

“...bossy.” I spat.

“I’m taking care of you, I’m not bossy.”

“...what’ver.”

“Whatever, right.” Spencer repeated, hesitating for a bit before putting his lips on my forehead, softly kissing it a few times. “I totally agree with you.”

“Mhm.” I lazily said, growing a bit more tired.

“Good night, y/n.”

Nothing much had been planned for today; so when I had woken up, I really didn’t need to feel stressed about rushing into work as most of it would only be paperwork.

Spencer was still asleep. He had stirred up a bit when I stood up, but it didn’t wake him much. He was sleeping as a baby, even when I accidentally banged my foot against a shelf, nothing woke him up.

I exited the room with a chuckle, heading to the kitchen aisle to fill up a glass of water; sitting on the counter when I had the glass in hand.

It wasn’t really late, just about 8AM, I could still head to work around 9 or 10 as our work hours were to be chosen by us when nothing urgent was to be done; but, the limit was still about 10AM, the hour to be chosen more freely was around the end of the day.

Too bad we can’t head in somewhere in the afternoon.

I hate that work just for that.

I slightly jumped from the counter, peering over the bedroom to see Spencer still sound asleep, only his position had changed.

As I looked in the room, his sweater had been messily put on one of the chairs in the corner, almost at the edge of it.

Time to make jokes and steal a sweater.

I slightly laughed, walking to the chair as I grabbed the sweater, heading back outside when I had the item in hand.

In a few seconds, I had put my head in the top hole, then my arms in the sleeves, arranging the sweater afterwards.

Good luck to get it back, Reid.

“Hey, did you-” Spencer asks, before putting his eyes on me. “Is that my sweater, or am I having hallucinations?”

“That is your sweater, indeed. You’re not hallucinating.”

“Is it being rude to ask why you’re wearing it?”

“I don’t know, I like it.”

“And...is it possible to get it back later?”

“Not sure….no.”

“At least you were clear.” Spencer chuckled, sitting on the couch as I joined him after a minute.

“Last night was really nice. I appreciated the forehead kisses.”

“I just...felt like it would be reassuring, glad to know that. I could do it often if you’d like to. I don’t mind.”

“Every night, no matter the situation. If we leave and don’t see each other for a few hours, forehead kisses, even if we don’t sleep at the other’s place, forehead kisses- basically every time we have to separate for a bit. But- you can also do it when we’re together, so...correction, all the time.”

“Gotcha, all the time.”

“I may give you back your sweater at some point if you keep your promise.”

“I don’t actually mind, you can keep it. Just tell me when you take my clothes so I don’t think that some alien stole my clothes in the night.”

“I’ll send you a text every time I’ll be taking one. You might receive a lot though…”

“Just try to leave two or three shirts and some pants so I don’t have to go out in the street naked.”

“I will- don’t worry.” I said, laughing.

“Too bad I can’t take yours in exchange. I’m not a fan of...tops.”

“You know what? That’s not a bad idea. I’m gonna take everything in your closet and only leave pants and that top. Thanks for the idea!” I thanked, getting up from the couch as he tried to catch me when I started to run.

At least now, I can’t say that I had a bad week.

It was better than expected;

For...probably the both of us.

If you liked this fic, let me know here!

#cm #cm fic #cm cbs #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfic #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #Criminal Minds Spencer Reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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awkwardgtace · 3 years

Text

Mira's Visit Home Pt 3 (Final)

This one is a bit longer than the others. I couldn't find a place that felt good to split it. Also only used ferrets cause I couldn't think of anything better to fit in her tunnel

Part 1, Part 2

Mira's Visit Home (Ending)

Mira waited for him to reach in and pull her out. She didn’t mind the extra time it took since she could gather her thoughts. She needed to admit to a human she loved him, she could wait most of the week, but Anna made sure that wouldn’t happen. She had made sure he’d heard that Kaya and her mom were coming. A hand came into the pocket interrupting her thoughts. The fingers curled around her, tight enough she couldn’t wiggle out. It was funny to think how this would have terrified her not too long ago. Even after her nightmares feeling his careful, warm touch helped to ground her. She was slowly pulled out of his pocket and placed on a pillow nearby he’d called hers. She thought it was dumb at the time but appreciated it more as time went on. Having a spot near him that was hers felt nice. She watched as he slid the coat off then went about putting that and his bag away. She was a little sad when he sat in his desk chair rather than on the bed with her. She thought he may just lay down and she could pretend she didn’t need to talk to him.

“So…,” he started, “how was seeing home again?”

“It was unbelievable. Everyone was acting differently than they used to. Plus a ton of thanks for bringing help. They even said I could move home if I wanted. Kaya and my mom are going to come next week t-.”

“That’s great,” he didn’t even know he cut her off. “Is there any way I can help you pack?”

“Pack?” she asked. It felt like things fell apart. He sounded so excited he must be relieved he was getting rid of her. She’d seen things before he knew she existed, he was louder and more destructive. She still remembered the time after he’d moved in and he punched the wall, close enough she could have touched his hand. He still probably felt guilty about it. Of course he wanted her gone, he could go back to his normal life without her. She couldn’t help the heartbreak she felt though.

“Yeah, you’re taking your things from here right?” he asked. Corus was desperately trying to sound cheerful. She’d been a positive change for him, someone to care about right when he needed it. It was easier to break his worst habits once he knew someone could be hurt without him fully aware. A fact he’d never have learned if she hadn’t come into his life. He was barely looking at her, trying to think of some way to thank her, to make sure she’d never forget him. He doesn’t know when he fell in love, but he was pretty sure no one would take her place.

“N-no I’ll be fine on my own,” Mira gave a strained smile and started to leave. She wanted him to stop her, ask her to stay, but he wouldn’t. A human would always see someone like her as a burden and it was better he never knew how she felt. She didn’t even realize how much she cared until today. She didn’t even know until everyone said they were glad she’d found someone so important to her. Now she was just going to avoid him until she left, she wouldn’t add more to how she’s a burden.

Mira reached the edge of the bed by the wall and finally let herself cry a little. She knew he’d more than likely be kind about her feelings and turn her down gently, but he was so happy she could leave. Mira started to climb down, and Corus finally let his own feelings show. His smile fell and he blindly grabbed the stress ball he’d bought for his desk after meeting Mira. He tried to calm down, but when it tore he was hit with a sad smile. He hadn’t managed to ruin a stress ball since the day he found her on the table. He wanted to laugh at how dumb all of this was, he should be happy for her, he could go see her probably, but he just hated she was leaving. He hated how everything he thought to say sounded like he wanted to keep her.

Mira was barely aware as she made her way back to her home. Normally after a storm finally ended, Corus would make them both tea and he’d just sit with her in bed for most of the day. She shivered as she realized how much she craved that warmth right now. Even hearing he expected her to leave, a part of her wanted to stay. She didn’t think she’d be happy back with the others, not after hearing that any of them had wanted her dead all those years ago. They’d changed, but they could change back just as easily. Anna had told her she was a little worried about how long things would stay different, but didn’t want to make the choice for her. Mira silently curled up in her fabric nest, holding a scrap Corus had given her tightly around her. The first time it wasn’t her blanket from home she sought out for comfort.

Corus and Mira had barely interacted for the next few days. He kept trying, but he didn’t want to risk saying something wrong and making her scared. Mira just didn’t want to be more of a burden. She was avoiding even sharing a meal, and wouldn't take the gifts he left at her entrances. She’d gone back to trying to only be out when she thought he was asleep. He wasn’t happy leaving things this way, he wanted to get her something to say goodbye at least. He wanted to make sure she knew he cared. He spent a day out in town, looking for something for her and giving her space. He knew it would probably amount to nothing like all the times before this. He stopped as he passed by the antique store, he had found the perfect thing to give her as a goodbye.

Their avoidance continued Mira having fewer and fewer reasons to even leave the walls. She was curled up at home, she didn’t have anything to do, all her projects would be left behind. Of course she could work on her half finished ones, but they were mostly in Corus’s room. She just didn’t want to bother him or risk him hearing her and saying something. Corus was anxious he hadn’t seen Mira in two days and he didn’t want to miss his chance to at least say goodbye. He was working up the courage to call out for her, when a knock sounded at the door. He rolled his eyes, but went to deal with his guest, he didn’t expect Mrs. Adam to be standing there. He was tempted to slam the door in her face, but decided to hear her out just in case.

“Mrs. Adam, what can I do for you?” he asked, his tone was barely friendly and he saw her grimace. She seemed nervous for once.

“Well I wanted to warn you, my pet ferret got out, and I know you don’t put out traps. There was also that squirrel you dealt with recently. I thought I saw him in your yard, but when I rushed over he was gone,” she said. Corus felt his heart stop. Mira was safe, she was inside there were at least two more days before her family would come to get her. Things would be fine, they had to be. He thanked her and shut the door, ignoring anything else she started to say. He needed to get Mira.

Mira prayed she was having realistic nightmares again. She’d fallen asleep for a little, waking up when she heard something that sounded like tapping. Her eyes went wide when she saw some weird animal watching her. It looked like it might just be curious, but she needed to find a way to distract it so she could run. Time felt frozen as she stared at the awful creature, nothing should be able to get in she’d made sure of that. No she usually did, she never shut the door the day they went to her home, Corus had grabbed them because of that nosy human and walked off. She came back so out of it she never thought to check.

“Mira!” Corus yelled, banging on the wall. That seemed to hit play on the frozen scene, the creature moved forward, but Mira managed to roll out of the way just in time. She started running, aiming for her closest entrance, the one on the floor of the kitchen. Only to freeze when the things face showed up in front of her. For once she hated herself for making each path have more than one point of access. “Mira please! I need you to come out. Please!”

Mira wanted to cry at how desperate he sounded. There wasn’t any option for her now. She could dodge for a bit, but she was stuck and in her haste left all her tools behind. There was another bang, louder than Corus knocking on the wall and she screamed. She didn’t mean to, but the built up fear let it out, which helped the thing focus back on her. She was frantically searching for a way out, but couldn’t find a way past where it wouldn’t be able to just block her path again. She was terrified, she needed help. She wouldn’t even get to tell him how she felt before she would be gone.

The creature pounced at her and she screamed as she dodged out of the way. The louder bangs were getting closer, another animal had probably been inside and they hadn’t crossed paths. She felt tears start to trickle down her face. The creature was focused on the noises mostly, but if she moved it would be back on her in an instant. There’s no way she’d get out of this in one piece, well maybe she would and that could be worse. She was tempted to call out for Corus, but he couldn’t help. Even if he heard her, he had stopped breaking things, why would he tear apart his house for her.

The creature seemed to lose interest in the bangs, eyes focused back on Mira’s small form. She resigned herself to her fate and shut her eyes. She didn’t have to watch it happen, and she’d fight like hell once it touched her. There was a breath washing over her and she screamed for help she knew wasn’t coming. There was a bang louder than others and thought she felt something like dust fall around her. Wind rushed past her, but she was shocked that nothing had hit her. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but heard a weird almost whining sound. She opened her eyes a little and saw the creature had been grabbed by a hand. Mira shivered as the creature was pulled out of the wall. Her legs giving out, she fell to the ground.

She knew she needed to get up and run, her mind was a mess. Something stopped that creature, maybe a human she should hide from humans. She tried to stand, falling back down more than once. By the time Mira was standing again, the hand was back. She froze, she could tell this time, it was a human hand, nightmares she couldn’t forget flooded her mind. A human was here to get her and she couldn’t bring herself to move. Mira didn’t have time to wait long before the hand started to move again, it came towards her and she whimpered. It didn’t stop the hand as it reached her, quickly wrapping her in a tight grip. Somewhere in her mind she thought this should feel safe.

She felt herself start getting pulled up, and she started squirming. She just wanted to get somewhere safe. Before long the hand she was in stopped moving, even with her squirming it hadn’t tightened once. She could feel as the one holding her started moving, they stopped somewhere and she started to truly panic. She didn’t know who this was, or why they were so adamant about reaching her. She felt herself get lowered again, and finally the hand opened. She didn’t realize she’d shut her eyes, but snapped them open once the grip was released. She slid off landing on the kitchen table, frantically searching for a way out.

“Mira, Mira please,” the human whispered to her. “It’s me, it’s Corus. I'm so sorry I scared you.”

Corus, it was Corus who grabbed her. He’s apologizing, she slowly looked up and met his eyes. He looked like he’d been crying. Just seeing his face started to calm her down, her cloudy mind starting clear. He saved her, he was helping her, his grip was safe, he was trustworthy, and she loved him. He reached out and used his thumb to wipe at her face, she didn’t realize her tears hadn’t stopped. She leaned into his touch, relieved it wasn’t a nightmare coming true.She saw around him that the wall had been torn apart just enough he could see in. A hammer on the counter near it.

“Mira. Did the ferret hurt you at all?” she shook her head. “Thank god, I have no idea what I’d do if I lost you.”

“You're the one who wants me to leave,” she said, quickly covering her mouth hoping he hadn’t heard her. He looked at her shocked, soon a look of realization dawned on his face.

“What? No, I,” he started. “J-just uh, will you come with me for a second, please?”

He looked at her with puppy dog eyes, he must have thought she’d say no. She was too terrified to be left alone right now. Even if the wall wasn’t destroyed, who knows what else could have gotten in during that time, she was lucky. She nodded at him, a little worried she’d say more she meant to keep to herself if she tried to talk. She was still terrified that the creature, no ferret, was going to kill her, and she really thought the hand that had grabbed her was dangerous. She wanted to feel safe and that meant Corus.

Corus held her cupped closely to his chest, not letting her see anything as he stood. She wondered if he thought she hadn’t seen the damage to the wall yet, maybe he was worried she’d be scared. He saved her, he shouldn’t be so worried. The trip was shorter than she expected, he must have rushed to his room. He carefully placed her on her pillow and started moving around his room. She didn’t really know what he wanted, but this was probably how he wanted repayment for saving her. Mira couldn’t get the idea of being a burden out of her mind.

Corus was frantically trying to find a good way to present what he bought her. He’d planned to just hand it all to her originally, but now he had to make her understand. Clearly she’d thought he didn’t want her here, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. He sighed, realizing this was a dumb attempt to stall, she was literally sitting on his bed and probably had none of what she needed to get down. He grabbed the small bag and moved back over to her, he sat on the floor so his head was more even to her. He didn’t want to let himself read into how she looked.

He took a deep breath and finally looked at her, she looked terrified, “Mira. I, uh, I don’t know what made you think I don’t want you here, but that’s wrong on every level. I’ve been… I’ve been terrified of myself since you told me you could go home. I didn’t want to do anything that made you think you couldn’t leave. I-I feel like I’ve been a better person since I met you. Finally getting my anger more under control is just one way. I wanted to get you something, something that I knew you’d probably yell at me for and I found these when I was out in town the other day.”

He quickly reached into the bag and placed a small chest in front of her. She looked at it confused, but inched toward it to open it. She slowly lifted the lid and let out an audible gasp. Inside was a small replica that looked like a real sword, like in the movies Corus had shown her. She carefully pulled it out, it was heavy, but she could use it still. She poked the end of it, jumping when it pricked her finger slightly. It wasn’t just for show it was sharp too. She looked back and saw the case, she couldn’t remember what it was called, pulling it out to slip it carefully inside. She placed it down next to her, and looked back into the chest. There was folded paper in there that she carefully pulled out, she couldn’t tell what it was and looked up to Corus finally.

“What...what is all this?” she asked. Her voice was rough and she couldn’t understand.

“I remembered the time I was looking at things online for you. There was a model sword you looked at so excitedly, but said you didn’t want or need when I offered to get it. I saw that in an antique store, and I sharpened it when I got home, so you could use it. When I was in there I saw the chest and it had a bunch of patterns for doll clothes. I thought you could use them to help make more clothes for yourself and the others.”

“Why would you get me all this?”

“I’m going to miss you, a lot.” He let out a deep sigh. “Mira I don’t really know how to tell you this or when it even happened, but I love you. I can’t really picture my life without you in it. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop you from leaving, I just, it’s only fair you know how much I care about you. I-I never meant to make you think I didn’t want you here, I just didn’t want you to think how I felt would mean you couldn’t leave.”

Mira dropped the papers, patterns she told herself, she was holding and ran forward. Corus went wide eyed and held out his hands as she jumped off, clearly trusting he’d catch her. He held her close to his face to make sure she was all right after her stunt, but when he brought her close enough she planted a light kiss on his nose. Corus felt his mouth fall open, he couldn’t believe she just did that. He saw the tears on her face and moved to wipe them clear with his thumb.

“You’re such a damned idiot,” Mira said, laughter following. “I tried to tell you that day and you cut me off. I thought you were so excited I could leave. I didn’t want to burden you anymore since you seemed so excited at the idea of my leaving. I wanted to stay here. I’ve never really said I trusted anyone, or asked for help. I always had to prove myself, but Kaya thought I was tricking you and just everything from when I was inside the community. I-I realized that I-I love you too.”

Corus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Not only was he in love with a woman small enough to fit in his hand, but she loved him too. She loved him even after seeing how bad he could get when he wasn’t controlling his anger. He moved her closer to his mouth and kissed her gently pushing her into his palm. She kissed him back of course, when he pulled away they both just stared into each other’s eyes taking in what just happened. Corus used one hand to hold her close to his chest and carefully moved the chest, small sword, and clothes patterns to his desk. He then climbed into bed placing her on her pillow, but laying closer than he usually did, nose nearly touching her chest.

“So what does this mean for you going back?” he asked. He wouldn’t stop her even if she went back after this. Staying here after today wouldn’t seem smart to him either.

“I wait for them to check up on me, tell them I’m staying. Although I may need to move my main home since someone tore apart the wall.” she teased. Everything felt like a dream. She wasn’t sure she’d trust this was real. Her mind still felt cloudy, but this felt perfect.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I heard you scream and knew something that could kill you was nearby,” he said seriously.

“How are you even going to fix that?”

“I have a friend, he takes care of when I break things usually, fixes it for a discount with how much business I’ve given to him.” He made a face and Mira laughed. She moved closer and snuggled up to his nose. The two stayed like that for most of the day, moving to eat a late meal. Corus was terrified to send her back to the walls, and Mira didn’t feel safe about it either. As night fell, Mira started falling asleep and Corus just lifted her carefully placing her over his heart. Letting things be for the night, she felt safer than she had in the last week.

At least until she woke up to her name being called out by Kaya and her mother. Mira jolted up, Corus’s hand having slipped off sometime in the night. They were early, probably to make sure she didn’t avoid things. She carefully walked along his chest to his face, she slid down his shoulder to the pillow and started smacking at his cheek. He needed to wake up before the two became convinced he’d hurt her. It would not end well at all. Slapping his cheek wasn’t working so she decided to use her shoulder to bash into his cheek and try to wake him up. He jumped, his hand flying to where she’d been sleeping minutes ago. He sat up worried, knocking her back on the pillow.

“Corus,” she called up. He quickly turned to where he’d heard her voice, relaxing once he confirmed she was safe. Also upon realizing yesterday wasn’t just a long dream. He reached out towards her, intending to grab her until he heard her name called. He froze, unsure what to do, they’d see the wall, the damage he caused. They had definitely seen it considering they were already calling for her. He thought they had another day.

“Corus we need to go meet them. They probably came early to make sure we talked,” Mira’s voice brought him back to now. She was right, they would probably try to make her leave after what they’ve seen. He’s shocked they called out, not just searching blindly in fear. Corus reached out again, carefully scooping her off the pillow. He walked to the kitchen, focusing on the ground just in case they’d come searching. He didn’t want to go to them, it could mean Mira leaving, but he couldn’t just avoid this.

When walking into the kitchen, he was shocked to see the two standing on the table. He approached it slowly, intimidated by the looks they had. He quickly lowered Mira to the table with an awkward smile. He wasn’t sure if he should stay, but looking at the aftermath of yesterday he didn’t want to hear this. He started to back away when a sharp glare from Mira’s mother stopped him. Clearly they didn’t trust he wasn’t planning something so he just stood there awkwardly.

“Mom, Kaya I’m sorry I wasn’t there to meet you. I thought you were coming tomorrow,” Mira said.

“Are you all right? What happened….” Kaya trailed off looking towards the wall. Corus watched and shivered when Amy glared at him. It really didn’t look good.

“You were after her for some reason.” Amy said. “Explain.”

“I-” Mira started.

“Not you. Corus.”

“O-oh, uhm.” He started. “I-I was told someone’s pet had gotten loose and that it disappeared by my house. I called out for Mira, but she didn’t answer. I moved the cabinet, but it fell then I heard her scream. I tore apart the wall to reach her. When I got the wall open enough I grabbed the ferret first. I came back after putting it in a cage to make sure she wasn’t hurt.”

“I see,” Amy said. “Please leave us alone to speak with Mirabelle.”

Corus nodded and quickly left the room. He went back to his room first, packing his gifts to Mira back into the chest. He’d make it easy since he didn’t actually find out what was coming next. This could still be goodbye, they wouldn’t want him to visit after seeing what he did. Obviously they’d be scared, and wouldn’t trust him to watch over her. It wasn’t like she couldn’t take care of herself, but away from her home he had to be there for her. He went a bit closer, but stayed far enough away that unless Mira was calling for him he wouldn’t hear their voices.

--------------------

“He isn’t lying, that is what happened,“ Mira said, staring at Kaya and her mother. Both of them looked skeptical to say the least. It wasn’t like he didn’t show he cared about her, but tearing apart his home seemed odd. Humans wouldn’t be likely to destroy their home to save one of their kind, even ones they liked as far as her community was concerned. Although he clearly cared for Mira more than just as an interesting creature, or a pet.

“I believe him,” Kaya said. They looked at Mira with a sad smile.

“I do too, that isn’t the problem,” her mother said. “Mirabelle, looking at everything he did you shouldn’t stay here. This kind of destruction is the problem of being around humans. Do you realize how dangerous this was for you? What if your scream was something else?”

“Mother, anywhere I go there’s danger. How long can we trust the people at the community won’t decide I’m a danger? Besides I’m not stupid you think I wouldn’t avoid a human who acted like this thoughtlessly?”

“Mira, what if he’d grabbed you with the strength he used like that? What if you hadn’t just gotten on his hand?” Kaya asked.

“I didn’t. He did grab me. I was terrified I didn’t know who it was. I couldn’t even understand that it was him at first. If he didn’t grab me you probably would have found me still terrified in the pathway he’d pulled the ferret out of.”

“Mirabelle, this isn’t a joke. You need to come home with us.” Her mother’s voice was firm, it was the same voice she used when Mira was a little kid getting into trouble.

“I won’t go back there. I’m staying here. He loves me, since he met me he’s been kind. I’d seen plenty of examples of how bad he could get. If this is what he’d do to make sure I’m safe I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I want to stay where I’m not going to leave just to be scared of being sent away again, this time to die.”

Kaya walked up and hugged Mira, she had tears streaming down her face. Her mother seemed disappointed, but wasn’t speaking. Mira couldn’t go back there, not after Collin slapped her, no one else acted to defend her when he’d treated her like that. He’d hit her plenty of times as a child, even when she wasn’t involved in the problem and was just nearby. She’d been belittled and yelled at her whole life, Corus was probably the only person she’d met that she didn’t have to prove herself to besides her parents. Even Kaya had been suspicious of her at first, until Mira defended them. Corus was also the first person to ever stop Collin, everyone else would just make sure she wasn’t too hurt after he’d left.

Mira’s mother sighed, “Fine, I can’t really argue on that. You seemed happy when I saw you, you know? The first time in nearly ten years and the first time in almost twenty eight that your smile looked so genuine. Please be safe darling. I don’t want to find out I made a mistake trusting your judgement on who you fell for.”

Kaya let Mira out of the hug, her mother quickly taking their place. Mira was a little shocked, expecting more fighting. She made her decision and she wouldn’t change her mind, although they’d need to fix the wall as soon as possible. Mira’s mother didn’t seem to be willing to let go, but neither minded. Realistically, Mira wouldn’t be able to see them again for a long time. It wasn’t practical, drawing attention to the woods even close wouldn’t be viable. After what felt like hours Mira’s mother finally pulled away, a large smile on her face.

“Might as well call him back to tell him your decision right?” she said. Mira couldn’t hide how happy she was that her mother was supportive. She was sure dad would be too, but he wasn’t able to leave easily. He was a guard for their community. Although the damage to the wall may have made him take longer to convince. Mira nodded and turned away from the two to call out.

“Corus, can you come back in here?” She hoped he could hear her. She didn’t have to wait long before she heard his footsteps booming as he walked in. She smiled realizing that with everything he did change for her, he never stopped walking heavily. She wouldn’t admit that she liked always having a strong idea of where he was and when he’d enter a room still. When he walked in, she saw the chest he’d used for her gifts yesterday. He must believe she was leaving.

---------------

“Hey, so what’s the verdict?” he asked awkwardly. Kaya and Amy looked at him, both with a gaze that made him feel small. There’s no way they weren’t insisting she leave after what they came to this morning.

“We’ll be leaving. I expect you’ll keep her safe, without destroying things,” her mother said. Corus winced, but quickly nodded. He never wanted to feel a need to tear into the wall again either. She seemed to accept this with a nod and the two started to climb down the table, a string hanging off he hadn’t noticed before.

“Oh wait,” he called out to them, moving to be more at eye level. “I was thinking of having a fence built for well, the part of the yard I own up to the woods. Can you let me know if that would cause you guys any issues? I thought it might be helpful to have a safe area to go between where more humans can’t see you. Plus it would be easier if you wanted to come see Mira, or if she wanted to go see you.”

“You would do this, so it’s safe for us to go back and forth if we chose?” Amy asked. Kaya was just staring with wide eyes.

“I mean considering how my neighbor is, I’d feel better knowing you had a place to hide from her. Although if it’s a risk to any of you guys in any way I’m happy not to.”

“We’ll talk with the others and let you know, i-is that all right?” Kaya spoke up. Mira frowned a bit hearing their nerves coming through. Kaya would trust her judgement, but clearly couldn’t get over their own fear.

“Of course. Although I’m going to be having a friend come by soon to fix the wall, so just keep an eye out for that. I don’t want you guys getting seen by anyone you don’t trust. He’ll probably be by in the next few weeks. You should be able to tell if he’s here and avoid him though.”

The two nodded then made a move to leave again. Corus and Mira watched as they made their way out, through the entrance she never showed him. He sent her a look, but she just smiled innocently. They could talk later about her entrances, for now Mira just wanted to be happy. Once enough time had passed she felt sure they were gone she looked at him with the best angry look she could muster.

“After all of that yesterday, you still thought I’d leave?” she tried hard to sound hurt.

“I didn’t know if they might convince you, I didn’t want to make you guys wait,” he answered, looking away from her.

“Is that really it?”

“I.... I thought you might be scared, even after yesterday. I didn’t know how clear you got a look at, well at what I did. I kind of thought you should be afraid honestly. I mean it wasn’t like I was thinking straight, I could have hurt you or-”

“You wouldn’t. Remember I was here when you moved in. If I was going to be scared off by you breaking things I should be gone by now.”

Mira beamed at him. She never really thought she’d put her life in someone’s hands, but Corus was worth it. He showed how much he cared about her, and how careful he’d be even when he was acting on impulse. Corus couldn’t believe how much faith she really had after his own actions. He leaned forward, placing a kiss on her again making her squeak. This seemed like a long dream. One he didn’t want to wake up from. He placed his hand flat on the table next to her, and she quickly climbed on. The two made their way back to his bedroom to sleep a bit more before doing anything for the day.

#gt writing #gt #OC:Mira #OC:Corus #giant/tiny #gianttiny #g/t #g/t writing

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satoriberry · 3 years

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helloooo congrats on 75+!!! i'd like to enter your event if youre not too stocked up

- my name is danica, i dont label myself and rn im feelin he/him pronouns. if you wanna use pet names im not picky but my favorites are traditional shit like darling/dear/love. personality wise ive been described as very doting (physically & verbally), dependable, and smart

- i think my only major important detail is i am not small. im abt 5'10 and bordering plus size. but even tho i have a lot of fat on me i am BEEF underneath bro im relatively built and bridal carry my friends for fun bc i like feeling strong and important so i beg of u pls dont physically baby-ify me

for prompts can i get a 123 with any member of the big boy squad (ushijima, aone, asahi)? for everything else go wild w it i love creativity :]

[PROMPT NO. 123 WITH AZUMANE ASAHI! ♡]

Asahi was, as some would say, kind of a creature of habit. He doesn't follow routines but he prefers creating a simple pattern to go by daily, to avoid any inconveniences and not have to make decisions on the spot. But quite frankly, today wasn't his day, at all.

His alarm clock gave out, and he had to be woken up by his dad yelling from downstairs 30 minutes after his usual waking hour, consequently, he didn't get time to eat breakfast. And another consequence, he had to quickly feed on those sugary artificial protein bars to have energy for morning practice.

His performance was severely lacking, another problem. And as a result, he was worried about Coach Ukai chewing him out during after-school training, even going as far as to think that his highschool volleyball career is over for good. He wasn't able to enjoy lunch that day, deciding to eat by himself in his classroom and leaving his friends confused (that's another thing he was worried about). To top it all off, he didn't do his best on the history test he was preparing for two weeks in advance, all his efforts going down the drain.

So, Asahi always hated minor inconveniences because they snowball into bigger ones and he loses his cool. He just wishes that this day would be over already, but I guess you could say there's some things he looks forward even in his worst days. Things like, uhhh, you! <3

His lovely partner that he adores and cherishes so much, and the person who makes him wonder if he waved an entire bloodline in his past life to deserve. There were so many things he loved about you; your smile, your eyes, your laugh, but most of all, your personality. It's not to say that you're his polar opposite, but he can't help and idolise you for your affectionate and strong self. You let it be known that he should never hesitate to come up to you if there's anything wrong, and that's exactly what he plans on doing.

He was nervous about doing this at first but he did it anyways. Taking out his cellphone, he texted you...

- Hey love, I didn't see you all day, where were you? :(

- ahhh i forgot to tell you. 2 of my afternoon classes got cancelled so we were let out earlier, im at my home right now

- Oh ok, we're having a break right bow at practice so I wanted to ask you something.

- yeah? :>

- Well today has been really ass, to put it bluntly, and I wanted to know if I could come over so we can spend time together. No pressure :)

- wait fr? that doesn't sound good, and of course, you can come over. ill be here waiting for you

- Thank you Y/N, you're an angel honestly

- <3

Putting his phone away, Asahi felt his mood already getting better, so much so his spikes and receives were a ton better than what they were on the morning. Maybe this day won't so terrible after all.

Practice came to an end, perfect. He apologized to Sugawara and Daichi who were more than happy to see him look forward to seeing someone. He was so actually so excited that he took the wrong turn....twice, but in the end, he reached his desired destination.

You were gazing through your room's window to see if he's close, and the second you saw his broad silhouette in the corner streetlight, you rushed to go get the door before he could ring the bell. You definitely caught him off guard with the way you stepped out barefoot and threw yourself at him, causing him to stumble backwards. Not letting go of him, you turned your head to pepper kisses all over the left side of his face, a gest which he reacted to with a wide smile and a kiss to your temple.

You took hold of his hand to lightly drag him inside, and started fo ask him questions about his day so he can let it all out. You were really grateful he sees you as a person to talk about his feelings too, it filled you with an immense amount of pride.

Entering your room, you jumped on your bed and leaned on the headboard with open arms, inviting him to nuzzle up against you. You really liked doing this because the tiny nervous smile he gives before awkwardly crawling and laying on your chest is, to put it simply, worth two arms and a leg.

You caressed the top of his head, admiring just how beautiful he looked while peaceful. Does he know that? You should really remind him because he deserves it. But what caught your attention was the bun his hair was in. You took his hair out and gently loosened the tie to ruffle his locks, mesmerized by how soft they were. He let out a content sigh which you considered a sign to keep going.

He buried his head in the crook of your neck, letting him take in your sweet perfume and allowing you to kiss the top of his head and pat his hair. He felt like he was in heaven, his partner holding him in his arms and making him feel safe and sound.

Asahi was a creature of habit, yes, but he doesn't mind going off track if it means being cared for so gently.

#berry.events <3 #asahi x reader #azumane asahi x reader #azumane asahi #haikyuu!!#hq!!

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animatedrapture · 3 years

Note

I HAVE GASOLINE LAYING AROUND IN MY HOUSE AND IM OMW TO SET KANA ON FIRE :))))

ok im about to compile possibly like 10 chapters worth of kana hate KJHLDSDJS

so. sorry i wasnt able to respond to so manyyyyyy of these on time and all, i get overwhelmed super easily but i truly, truly love all of you and appreciate each msg :DD these have all either made me think real hard LMFOAHJSKD or had me laughing so hard and gasping lmfao. but yeah, i appreciate all of these and everything i mightve never gotten bc tumblr asks is dumb as well as the ones ive still yet to come back to or answer. almost each and every single one of these have been a guidance with what i wanted to do with the smau, whenever i wanted to switch something up or make something better in the smau, your msgs helped a lot in improving it in some way and helping me figure out what i truly wanted to do with the smau and for that, thank u!!!

Anonymous asked:

FUCK KANA ALL MY HOMIES HATE HER HANA SPILLED HER DRINK ON HER? SHE DID THE RIGHT THING ALSO FUCK SUNA BC EVEN UF HE HAD SEX WITH YN AND SAID HE ADORES HER HIS ACTIONS/AFFECTION TOWARDS KANA GIVES MIXED SIGNALS AND ITS TIME HE GET ACCOUNTABLE OF SAID ACTIONS sorry for the rant 🥴

Anonymous asked:

the “tw kana” absolutely sent me into orbit i cackled 😭

Anonymous asked:

anons bonding over kana hate🤝🏻🤝🏻🤝🏻

Anonymous asked:

yeah its only you who doesn't dislike her FGHDJGKUJ IM KIDDING no but really more than hate her its hate the way shes in between like it pisses me off the cockblock she is 😭😭

Anonymous asked:

if i were kana,,,i would either tell him i still have feelings OR hurt in silence (step back) since technically he or should i say they decided to be JUST bestfriends not cockblocking the possibility for him to be in a relationship

Anonymous asked:

kana has to make a choice: she confess or shut the fuck up bc as far as we know they decided to be just bff (highkey think suna was more into being just friends and kana kinda lied) so IF he likes someone else why the fuck try to sabotage him (his happiness with someone else) when he find it out then what? would he still keep her as a friend? 🧐

Anonymous asked:

What if I just...shift or whatever you guys call it, into As Friends universe...and bonk Kana on the head...lol just kidding...ah ha ha ha No please she is starting to sound like the girl best friend that would make couples break up because she does not care about boundaries...honey, you're the best friend, yes, you're important, but that's his girlfriend...stay in your lane. Lol like "I don't want to confess" but "He's mine so I have to get rid of all competitions" lol fucking clown yeah no, I don't have to wait for you to write more about her to make me hate her sksksksksk I already do

Anonymous asked:

Ayo istg kana's been giving y/n the stinky eye... if she stares at y/n like that one more time LAWD HELP HER SOUL, im coming for her eyes!!! But fr,, Rin better treat y/n right and put kana in her place. Bc y/n got a best friend too (samu) u^u and he can cook and would treat her good.

Anonymous asked: likE I KEEP SAYING eAT SHIT KANA

Anonymous asked: I am CRAVING IMMENSE VIOLENCE bring that girl kana here lemme knock her teeth down her throat. >:(

Anonymous asked:

kana (derogatory)

Anonymous asked:

istg if a bus doesn’t hit kana i’m gonna do it

Anonymous asked:

kana toxic best friend it’s time for suna to realise IT 😤😤

Anonymous asked:

kana has family problems only rin knows about? what in the ao haru ride manga 😐

Anonymous asked:

WHY KANA FUKC

Anonymous asked:

NAH MY GUT FEELING TELLING ME KANA WAS BAD NEWS SINCE THE BEGINNING also she wants suna all to herself (he sees her as a bff) but doesn’t say shit to him... if course he’s gonna find someone in the future whether in college or after (unless the bitch will still to his ass even when he goes pro)

Anonymous asked:

everyday i wake up with notifs from u i feel like im about to get subjected to pain and IM RIGHT THIS TIME TOO what the hell kana u will never be yn (me) 🙏🏼🧇

Anonymous asked:

bro part of me wants to punch suna so bad bc like hes so awkward but so smooth like who tf do u want stop being a smooth ass mf u know these two bitches like u

Anonymous asked: i might just obliterate everyone named kana cause of as friends THE WHOLE TIME MY EYE WAS TWITCHING CAUSE OF HER FUCK KDDSKDLSDK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO OBLITERATE HER SAY "I" but like hi! i hope youre well

Anonymous asked:

even tho u always insist you'd never het mad at me girl HUHH i used to be genuinely good w kana now she's just a manipulative bitch :// kana babe sorry but ur best friend is allowed to spend time with other people 🙄

xmyshya asked:

I 👏 love 👏 Hana 👏 Also 👏 fuck 👏 Kana 👏 and Rin you idiot, what do you mean he's not gonna pursue dating T_T it's just a few chapters till the end T_T wut T_T

yourstarvic asked:

Kana needs to back up before she gets beat up 😤 me and my homies ain’t playing no more 😤

Anonymous asked:

omg that ur probably mad (even tho u said u’d never get mad at me!) broooo

Anonymous asked:

kana gonna get even more territorial in the next chapters im getting kinda scared to see how rin reacts 😒 shes gonna lowkey (highkey) manipulate rin like oh u said youll never leave me you said i come first and all that mhmmm girl dont make me break your neck 👎🏼👎🏼

Anonymous asked:

huh so is kana basically a pick me girl

Anonymous asked:

“you’d be selfish abt this” girl

Anonymous asked:

why tf kana gotta ask yn bro u don't know her just ask suna directly 🙄 putting her in an awkward ass position how's she supposed to say no i'm sorry kana's being annoying as hell rn

Anonymous asked:

it’s time for kana to realise: - yn aint just a fling bc suna is spending more time with her - suna clearly sees her just as his bff

Anonymous asked:

Kana saying "I was worried you'd be selfish about this haha" well bitch now I gotta be 😒

Anonymous asked:

“i was worried you’d be selfish about this hahaha” -the one who’s for the streets kana better watch herself…y/n was being kind, i will not be

Anonymous asked:

DID KANA REALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK US?????? TO POSTPONE OUR PLANS WITH RIN???? pls that « you understand, right? » was just so manipulative oh my god-

Anonymous asked:

kana can go cry & write to her diary about it 😘😘

Anonymous asked:

“y/n right?” after literally meeting her plssss

Anonymous asked:

miss kana is just gonna have to miss him a little more bc i'm not canceling SHIT!!

Anonymous asked:

kana is playing chess while we’re playing checkers

Anonymous asked:

everytime you post and kana gets fucked over my day is made and it all I'm going to think about

Anonymous asked:

im catching up on as friends bc i havent read a few chapters and kana saying “arent you just with yn” made me extra angry go trip down some stairs kana

Anonymous asked:

u made my week with the update 😭🖤 i hate kana sfm lol

Anonymous asked:

kana suffering either way the story goes? I'm in -🦄

Anonymous asked:

kana n suna need to grow up lowkey it’s very highschool

Anonymous asked:

WHOEVER SENT THIS I AM CHOOSING VIOLENCE who's in, let's go beat kana-🦄

Anonymous asked:

hELL YEAAHH GET FUCKED KANA /neg

#wait im adding more i just #it noncon posted KLDHSKJDD #;bubble #smau ; as friends #tw kana #this is gonna be like the tw kana hall of fame post LKJDSHKDJS

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puckinghell · 4 years

Text

The Plus One Pact | William Nylander | Part 4

Summary: Your ex is getting married, and you don’t have a date, which means the unavoidable “why don’t you have a boyfriend” question is about to haunt you for the rest of eternity. But then there’s Will, who could be the answer to all your problems. A simple business pact, no feelings involved: that won’t be hard for you, because you really don’t like him anyways. Except pacts were made to be broken… or something. Right?

Note: This is part 4. Click here for part 1 | part 2 | part 3

You don’t know how it happens.

Okay, you kinda do.

One night, you get a text from Will that’s just a screenshot of a very strongly worded email to a certain balloon company, and then three crying-from-laughter emojis.

Still not funny!!! you text back, and you expect not to hear from Will again until the wedding.

You’re wrong. When he texts you again the next day, asking how you work was, you figure it would be rude not to answer, and then when the phone rings late one night, you worry something is wrong, so you answer that, too.

“What was your day like?” Will’s voice is quiet and timid when he asks, and you take it you’re not gonna talk about that awful game they just had, so you talk to him about your day for an hour until his voice is lighter and he’s laughing again.

It starts happening more and more, and before you really realize it, it’s weird when you haven’t heard from Willy in a day.

To be truthful, it turns out Zach was right; as he usually is, which you would rather die than tell him.

But Will is different when it’s just you two, and your favorite moments with him are when he calls after games and his voice is laced with sleep and you can nearly hear the smile through his voice when he asks you about your day. Everything about him is muted, then, but it feels real, and important, somehow.

You even learn to appreciate how annoyingly chipper he is, because sometimes you really do need someone to just laugh at your bad mood until it goes away.

You also learn that, like you expected on the plane to Calgary, Will keeps his head high but it’s mostly a facade. Comments get to him, especially when they’re about his hockey – “that’s the only thing I was supposed to be good at” he jokes one time, and you wanna hit him over the head with his hockey stick until he understands that that’s not true – and he takes everything personal, although he tries not to show it.

Everything you didn’t like about him, you find out, is something you either got wrong about him or learned to appreciate.

And there’s so much more to like about him, too.

One night, after a really bad day at work, you have a fight with your sister about Noah’s stupid wedding.

“Why are you so against coming?” your sister says, a little too aggressive. “Surely you aren’t still in love with him? He’s happy with Betty, Y/N.”

Of course you’re not still in love with Noah, but it hurts that she can’t just accept that you don’t wanna go. That she can’t take your side in this, even if she doesn’t know the full story. She should trust that you’re not being difficult for no reason.

And you can’t help yourself; it’s late and you know Will just got done with his game, and he’s all the way in Carolina but you call him anyway.

He answers almost immediately.

“Y/N?” he asks, and he sounds surprised. It’s to be expected, because he’s almost always the one calling you, but it stings a little, nonetheless.

“Uhm, hi.” You pause. “Is it… okay that I called?”

“Of course. Always.” Will sounds truthful, so you decide to take his word for it.There’s no more extra space in your brain to worry about that, as well.

“Congrats on the game.”

“Thanks.” You hear Willy’s grin. “I’ve told Zachy we’re both very proud of him for that OT winner.” There’s an indignant huff next to him that sounds a lot like Zach and you figure they’re still on the bus, where Willy usually sits with Kappy or Zach.

It’s quiet, then Willy’s voice, treading very carefully: “Is something wrong? You don’t sound too happy.” There’s some stumbling and you can almost see how Willy must be elbowing Zach away from the phone, because Zach is basically an overprotective dad whenever he hears anyone isn’t doing well.

But Willy… Willy isn’t like that, but he sounds worried anyway, and he sounds gentle like he’s trying to calm you down, and suddenly you’re telling him everything: about the day you’ve had and your job that sucks and that you’re worried about the wedding and why can’t your family just trust you, for once, and what if this all isn’t worth it just to keep your family happy?

When you’re done, Willy’s voice is soothing. The background noise has disappeared. Maybe the bus has stopped.

“It’s worth it,” is what he says. “You know it’s worth it.”

You sigh. It’s annoying still that he’s usually right.

“I just don’t want to deal with it anymore.”

“And tonight you don’t have to.” There’s a sudden noise and then Will cursing. “Fuck, sorry, hold on, I’m trying to open this stupid hotel door…” More crashing and banging, and then Willy’s voice reappears. “Tonight you don’t have to deal with anything, okay? We can FaceTime and watch a movie together.”

And that… That actually sounds really nice, and like it doesn’t require any brain power which is good because you have none of that left anyway.

“Hey, what’s your favorite take out food?”

It’s such a random question, out of the blue, and when you tell him that, the blurry FaceTime screen can’t hide his eye roll.

“It’s just something friends are supposed to know about each other, now tell me.”

“Sushi when I’m feeling fancy,” you say, “or pizza when I need comfort food.”

You can’t even pretend to be that surprised when a massive pizza shows up at your door 30 minutes later.

You hate that it nearly brings tears to your eyes, but after the day you’ve had…

“Thank you, Willy,” you mumble, and there’s something soft to his look when he smiles at you.

“What are friends for?” he asks, and you realize you don’t even mind that he’s declared himself your friend, now.

A few weeks ago, you would’ve disputed it. But now, you find yourself kinda wishing it could be more.

What are friends for is apparently your motto now, and it’s all a little strange as you get into the car, your fanciest, most beautiful dress and highest heels on.

“You look great,” Zach says. He’s wearing a suit and his hair is slicked back, the way it always is when he’s really trying.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you reply, a little grumpily. “I hate team events.”

“I never did understand why.” Zach starts the car and backs out of your driveway. You’ve been told Alannah is going to the venue straight from work, and Willy had an appointment and couldn’t come get you, which is why you’re in the car with Zach, now.

“Because I don’t fit in there.” It’s the honest answer, but it’s obviously not the whole story. The whole story is that those events are filled with beautiful women, and you never feel quite up to par; like you snuck into a place you’re not welcome, not supposed to be welcome, either. But Zach wouldn’t get that. Willy wouldn’t get that either.

And you just couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough, not when he said: “But Y/N, it’s for charity.”

It would not matter to the charity, of course, if you didn’t come. But Willy had looked so hopeful, and then he’d pulled out the final card: “It’s gonna be way more fun with you there by my side.”

And now you’re wearing a dress appropriate for a charity gala, which means you’ve never felt more uncomfortable in anything in your life, and your feet already hurt from your heels, and this was such a bad idea, God.

“You know,” Zach says, and his tone tells you this conversation is going somewhere you don’t want it to go. “Willy doesn’t like these events either. It means a lot to him that you’re coming for support.”

You nearly roll your eyes. “Willy charmed the socks off every person at my boss’ wedding, Zachy. He really doesn’t need my support for these kinda things.”

Zach’s face stays stoic. “Yeah, but nobody at that wedding knew him.”

“So?” you frown. “That should only be a disadvantage, considering he’s William Nylander.”

Zach laughs, then. “Still haven’t figured it out, then? I’m disappointed in you, Y/N. I thought you were good at reading people.”

“Hey!” you react, offended. You are good at reading people. It’s one of the things you pride yourself on. “If you know it all so well, why don’t you just tell me?”

Zach sighs. “Willy doesn’t like these events anymore because he is William Nylander, as you say it, and that’s not really a popular name in Leafs territory, right now.”

And, oh.

That.

“I did realize he cares a lot more about what people think than I thought he did.” You pause. “More than he should, probably.”

“Definitely.” Zach’s face has that protective big brother vibe about it, again. You used to not understand, why he always looked like that when people were talking shit about Willy.

You get it, now.

“There’s always plenty more people telling him he’s great, than there are people sending him snarky looks,” Zach continues. “But he never really believes any compliments he gets, so that doesn’t help.”

Suddenly, you realize something.

You’ve never really… complimented Willy? Even when you realized he cared more than he let on, you still just assumed he knew how great he was. Sometimes, he kinda fishes for something – “Did you see my goal?” “How about my cooking abilities?” “I know how to pick a good movie, right?” – but you’d always laughed and chirped him for it.

“If your head gets any bigger, it’ll explode.”

And Willy is always complimenting you; he tells you you look great all the time, even when you decidedly dont’t, but he clearly remembered what you told him about Noah because that’s never the only thing he compliments you about.

He tells you how smart you are, “I like how good you are with animals”, how any food you make is the best thing he’s ever eaten, if only everyone was as lovely as you.

You feel guilty, now. If Willy is your friend, you’ve really not been doing such a good job at being his friend, too.

You’re fixing that tonight, you decide right then and there.

“I’ll make him believe it,” you tell Zach, and it comes out sounding vaguely threatening.

Zach laughs. “Thought you didn’t like him?”

“Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought he was,” you admit, and you don’t tell Zach how much you really, really do like Willy, but you think Zach kinda knows anyway.

Will meets you at the door, where Alannah is also waiting for Zach. He smiles at you, eyes soft.

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” He quickly presses his lips to your temple, which is a new development that you don’t really know how to handle.

But Will is a tactile guy, anyway, so you’re sure you shouldn’t read too much into it.

You see Zach’s raised eyebrow, and suddenly remember – fine, maybe you’d forgotten your objective for a second because Will looks really hot in that suit, but you’re back on track now.

“You look beautiful too, Will.”

Willy’s eyes widen and a flush creeps up on his cheek, but before he can answer you grab his hand and pull him into the building.

It’s a fancy, really expensive hotel, where the gala is being held. It’s filled to the brim with people, a few of which you recognize, most of which you don’t.

“That chandelier must be worth more than our entire house,” Alannah mutters, and you’re glad to see it’s affecting her too, although she’s been to these events many times.

Zach laughs. “With a puppy in the house, aren’t you glad we don’t have any furniture that costs more than our mortgage?”

“Do you want a drink?” Will’s lips are close enough to your ear to hear him over the noise of the crowd and the music in the background, and also close enough to feel his hot breath against your neck. It takes everything in you not to shiver.

Maybe you do need a drink. Or ten.

Willy and Zach go to get the drinks and Alannah leads you to where some of the other WAGs are. Steph is the only one you know and she hugs you as soon as she sees you coming, then introduces you to the rest.

“So, you’re with Will, huh?” she asks, eyebrows waggling.

You were expecting that question, but maybe not so soon into the evening.

“Uhm,” you cough, “not really. Just his plus one for tonight.”

“Sure,” Steph says, and she looks like she doesn’t believe you at all.News always travels fast in the WAGs group, and Alannah is looking a little guilty.

You find you don’t mind so much, that they think that you’re together. Although you really don’t wanna think about why you don’t mind.

When Willy finds you, Kappy and his girlfriend are with him, and the four of you make your rounds throughout the room, talking to any sponsor that seems interested in a conversation. Mostly you just stand there while Willy talks, his hand on your back as if he’s scared you’re gonna run off.

“I always thought this would be a lot of work,” you mumble in Willy’s ear, when you’re between conversation partners. “But I really only have to stand here and look pretty.”

Willy grins. “Seems like it comes natural to you.”

Right. You kinda forgot about the compliments again.

You shrug, lean a little closer until you’re basically pressed into his side. It feels a little too right, maybe, how quickly Will’s arm wraps around your waist.

“You’re really good at talking to these people.” You’re talking pretty loudly, but you’re pretty sure Will is the only one that can hear you over the noise. “The second you open your mouth, people are so charmed by you. I think you could make anyone love you.”

Willy’s eyes flash to the floor, and they stay fixed there as he mumbles something that sounds a lot like another “uhm”.

His cheeks are flushed red, and you’re saved from having to deal with that as Auston appears, eyes wild and jaw tense.

“I’m being stalked,” he hisses. “This old white dude literally won’t leave me alone even for a second. He’s been following me around for an hour. Help.”

Willy bursts into giggles, which is probably not very helpful, and the betrayal on Auston’s face is enough to make you feel bad for him.

“Come on,” you say, grabbing his arm, “let’s go hide behind the bar.”

It’s easier than you thought it would be, to get through the evening. In fact, when Will asks you if you’re ready to go, you hadn’t even noticed it had become so late.

You say goodbye to the few people you know and gratefully accept Willy’s offer to drive you home.

The car ride is silent. It’s not awkward, but the air is heavy with something, and you curse yourself for all those times you wished Willy would just shut up, because now he has and you hate every second of it.

Did your compliments freak him out? Did he regret asking you to come?

“So,” Will finally says, as he stops in front of a traffic light. He’s not looking at you, keeping his gaze firmly on the road ahead of him. “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

“Zach told me you don’t like these events,” you try, carefully. You’ve never had to pull something out of Will, force him to open up; he’s always just kinda done it, from the very moment you met him, shared parts of himself with you that you never had to search for.

For you, who’s never learned how to not keep something hidden, that was maybe the thing that unnerved you about him the most.

“I like doing things for charity,” Will answers, and you can tell he’s picking his words carefully. “But I don’t like people looking at me as if I’m some kinda disappointment who doesn’t belong there.”

“Have they ever said anything?”

“No.” Will smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and there’s a hint of sadness laced in it. “Not to my face, anyway. But I’m not stupid, you know.”

No, he’s not stupid. For all the conflicting thoughts you’ve had about him, you never thought he was stupid.

And you never thought he was a bad contract, either. It seems imperative, suddenly, that he knows that.

“Willy,” you say softly, and although his eyes are still on the road, you know he’s paying attention. “You can’t seriously believe that you’re anything but an amazing hockey player. You’re worth that contract and you’re worth the effort Dubas put into keeping you here. You’re so smart, and I know people don’t always see it but you work so hard, and Matts was so happy when you got back on his line because he knew you would be magic together.”

Will’s cheeks are red but this time, he’s not mumbling when he says: “I know I haven’t been playing as well as I can.”

“Stop,” you tell him, softly but forcefully. “Stop deflecting, stop dodging. Just take the compliment and believe me when I say you’re great at what you do.”

“That’s very nice of you,” he says, his voice a bit shaky, and that’s a different kind of deflecting but it’s still deflecting, and it’s hurting your heart.

“William Nylander,” you scold, and then you do what you’ve been wanting to do this entire evening and let yourself reach out and put a hand on his knee. “Just accept the compliment.”

Willy carefully reaches down to grab your hand, intertwines your fingers together as he lets both your hands rest on his thigh. He’s holding the steering wheel with one hand, but he’s driving pretty slowly and the roads are deserted, so you’re not too worried.

You’re more worried about the fact that he just doesn’t believe you.

“You’re a great hockey player,” you repeat, stubbornly. “And a great person.”

Finally Willy allows himself to smile, this small, rueful thing that sticks somewhere deep inside your chest, folds up next to your heart like it’s gonna stay there forever.

“Thank you,” he says, and maybe he still doesn’t really believe it but this is as far as you’re gonna get tonight and maybe that’s okay.

You’ve got time.

The car has reached your flat and Will parks it in your driveway. It’s quiet, and he hasn’t let go of your hand, and you kinda don’t want him to.

The night is over, probably.

But there’s still one thing you need to tell him, though. “It doesn’t matter, Will,” you say softly. “What those people think. It doesn’t matter.”

“No,” Willy agrees, and for the first time you can tell he believes it. “But it matters what you think.”

He finally turns to look at you and there’s so many emotions swirling in the deep blue of his eyes, but you can’t really put your finger on any of them. All you know is your heart is beating in your throat, and you really want to kiss him.

But Willy still looks a little sad, and you have a feeling there’s something he’s not saying.

“I told you I think you’re great,“ you tell him, and it’s the truth.

“But you didn’t, before.” Will hesitates. “I told you I’m not stupid. I know when people find me annoying.” He shrugs. “I get it. I know I can be too much.”

And God, there’s so much hurt in that, so much pain and yet understanding, and you can tell he truly believes that, and you would do anything to take that away from him.

Anything.

So.

“I didn’t like you,” you admit, but when Will goes to pull back his hand, you simply hold on tighter. “I was wrong. I didn’t know you, and I was wrong. Now I know you. And I like you.” You inhale, pause. “I like you so much I don’t really know what to do with myself, sometimes.”

It’s quiet. You can nearly see the wheels turning in Willy’s head as he searches your face for something; something to tell him you’re not being truthful, maybe, that it doesn’t mean what he thinks it does.

If that’s what he’s looking for, he won’t find it.

Then he drops your hand, jumps out of the car and slams the door.

Disappointment and hurt washes over you; you knew you had to try, had to put your heart out there, but it hurts that it’s smashed into pieces like that. Clearly you read it wrong, clearly you still don’t know how to tell what Willy’s feeling.

Except then your door opens, and Willy is holding out his hand.

“Come on,” he says, and his voice sounds… fond? You don’t know exactly what to think about it, but he doesn’t sound angry, or upset.

Against better judgement, you grab his hand and get out of the car.

“I have to tell you something,” Will says. And, there’s no way that he’s doing what you think he’s doing, but his hands are suddenly traveling up, one reaching to cup your cheek, the other settling on your waist. His eyes are staring into yours intently, and they’re twinkling but it’s not the same mischievous twinkle you’re used to seeing.

“I really like you, too,” Willy says, and he leans in and presses his lips against yours.

For a split second, you stand there, not quite knowing what just happened, but then his hand tightens on your hip and you realize that this is real, this is happening, and Will’s kissing you.

So you kiss back. You let your body lean heavy against the car, place your hands on his biceps and pull him closer, until his chest is flush against yours. The kiss deepens, and you swear you can feel your heartbeat synching up with his.

The night is dark, and quiet, and it rains a little, but you feel none of it.

All you feel is Will, surrounding you, and everything is beautiful and exactly the way it’s supposed to be.

#happy ending except!!! is it???#william nylander #william nylander fic #nhl fic #toronto maple leafs

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