#because he finally got along with everyone and didn't seem so angry anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nutzgunray-lvt · 9 months

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Hot Seat

It's finally here! I had the plot more or less outlined from the beginning, but writer's block hit me in regards to the ending. I wasn't sure if I wanted Aizawa to realize how much of an asshole he had been up to that point or double down on it, so I decided to leave it open for the most part. I wrote this fic because the scene this was inspired from (the 4th light novel where the teachers have a get together after the School Festival) really pissed me off. They knew damn well that Izuku had trust issues in regards to going to his teachers for help... and did nothing. Only All Might cared, and everyone else just brushed it off.

The School Festival went off without a hitch, but Toshinori wasn't happy.

After enduring two villain attacks less than three months apart, UA's students got to be just that again: students. The school buzzed with an intense energy that seemingly invigorated everyone present, and the first years in particular presented one amazing event after another, but Toshinori wasn't happy.

It didn't make any sense. He should have been happy. School was closed today, as well as the next, letting everyone have a much deserved break. Everyone had a blast visiting the various kiosks, games, and shows. He was slowly but surely getting used to a life of retirement, and he had gotten his teaching license.

So why wasn't he happy?

After everything had been taken down and the students were sent off to bed, Toshinori had been cajoled into staying up with the rest of the teachers for a sort of after-party (as if they hadn't done enough celebrating during the festival). He wasn't in a particularly celebratory mood, but he didn't really have the energy to fight Present Mic's incessant tugging on his arm as he tried heading upstairs to his room.

"It won't be any fun without you!" the younger blonde had pleaded.

As the other teachers made drinks and broke off into small groups, Thirteen seemed to notice his less than cheerful mood. She pulled him into a corner with two non-alcoholic beers to regale him with stories of the latest nature documentary that had just been released. It had actually worked for a while - he and the young Hero both loved nature and she was good company in general, but Toshinori couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. Out of the corner of eye, he could see Aizawa peering over at him in between sips of his own beer.

It made him feel unexpectedly angry. God, just what did he do this time?

Since starting at UA, Toshinori had quickly learned that the young Underground Hero had some sort of bone to pick with him. Efforts to make things right (what had he done wrong?) had proven to be less than fruitful, so Toshinori gave up and decided to settle on a peaceful co-existence with him. After all, it wasn't the first time he hadn't gotten along with a fellow Hero, and it wouldn't be the last. Seeing as how the man had to be blackout drunk to say anything remotely kind to him, Toshinori knew he had to pick his battles.

But that seemed to not be working out anymore.

Now, Present Mic was looking concernedly over at him as well, and he wasn't being subtle about it either. Thirteen had been gushing about a section of the documentary centered around the Eastern Siberian Mountains, and Toshinori tried to be as engaged as much as he could (she had a hellish recovery from the USJ attack, so she sure as hell deserved that much), but the feeling of two additional pairs of eyes on him was making his skin crawl, and he hadn't even touched his drink -

"Yo, All Might!" Present Mic called out from across the common room. "Why are you so quiet all of a sudden? What's with the bad mood?"

That had gotten Cementoss's attention as well. "Is everything alright?" he asked with genuine concern. The gesture was nice, but now everyone was looking over at him.

Great.

"Sorry," he mumbled, running a hand over his worn face. God, he should have just gone to bed. They could deal with one night of him staying out of the party. Now, he had ruined everything -

"Our colleague is dispirited over the incident concerning Midoriya of 1-A," Ectoplasm explained patiently.

As everyone nodded and murmured to one another about this development, Toshinori let the memories of this afternoon wash over him: how Young Midoriya's phone kept going to voicemail, how the older man had been so overcome with worry that something bad had happened to him that he spent a good fifteen minutes in the staff bathroom, barely holding back a panic attack. He had known the green haired boy for a little over a year and half, and he had already held a very special place in the retired teacher's heart. It's why it hurt him when Ectoplasm had told him about the boy's fight with Gentle Criminal and La Brava. He had bested them and got away with little to no injuries, but why didn't his successor tell him what was going on? He wouldn't have been in any trouble. Ectoplasm and Hound Dog were out patrolling for a reason, and they would have taken over without hesitation. They wouldn't have faulted him for deferring to his teachers - Hound Dog told him that.

Why did Young Midoriya never tell anyone anything?

Did he not trust him?

What was he doing wrong as a mentor?

"He's always doing this, shouldering these burdens by himself. It's like he's incapable of reaching out for help…" Toshinori muttered, sighing heavily.

"Hey, are you seriously getting drunk off of this non-alcoholic stuff?" Midnight teased as she took his drink and double checked the label, admittedly looking more troubled than her comment let on.

The older man pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. "This is serious, Midnight," he said as patiently as he could. "First Hosu, then Kamino Ward, and now this? Clearly this is a recurring issue with Young Midoriya, no matter how many times we get onto him about it. I'm terrified that this will get him killed."

Aizawa's expression was grave as he shook his head and muttered, "Yeah, and that sounds just like a certain hero we all know, doesn't it?"

And that did it for Toshinori.

He tried to stay calm, he really did. He could hear Nana's steady voice telling him, "Count to ten. Get control of your temper." But something about Aizawa's remark had made him so angry that it overtook the remaining rationality he had been operating on. He had initially been planning on removing himself from the situation entirely and sleeping it off, but protective rage and unresolved tension between the two put the retired hero on the offensive.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he snapped, trying to calm his shaking hands as he shot to his feet.

The common room was deathly quiet now, the tension so heavy it could be cut with a plastic knife. Knowing that the raven haired man would undoubtedly want to have the last word, he preemptively shot a hand up to stop it. "Actually, don't answer that question. I have something that I've been meaning to say for quite a while now."

He began pacing back and forth, trying to count to ten as Nana had always told him to do when his emotions began getting the better of him. As much as Aizawa had infuriated him in the moment (and since the first of school, if he were being honest), the rest of his colleagues didn't deserve to see him lose his temper on them.

"Aizawa, I know that you'll probably never get along with me, and that's something I've grown to realize and accept. But whatever negative feelings you have towards me have nothing to do with Young Midoriya!"

The other teachers looked amongst each other in varying degrees of surprise and uncomfortableness before staring at Aizawa, who for his part, looked unflappable.

"What are you getting at, All Might?"

"We both know what I'm talking about, so don't play ignorant," All Might responded. "You've had a bias against him since the first day of school, placing him last in your Quirk Assessment Test and threatening to expel him in front of his classmates over his -"

"I was trying to be realistic," Aizawa interrupted, setting his beer down. "He can't keep hurting himself every time -"

"What exactly are you doing to remedy that?" Toshinori asked, his voice getting louder. "All I've seen you tell Young Midoriya is for him to figure it out himself! For that matter, that's all you tell the rest of his classmates as well! Young Kaminari risks brain damage every time he misuses his Quirk, and Young Aoyama -"

"They've had their Quirks for well over ten years, Yagi," Aizawa impatiently said, getting to his feet. "If they don't have control over their Quirks by now, why are they even here?"

Midnight raised a placating hand, her eyes darting between the two men.

"You have a point, Yagi," she interjected. "But so does Shota. The kids should have been regularly seeing a Quirk Counselor starting in elementary school. Surely it should have helped."

The retired hero closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He had wanted to keep One For All and Young Midoriya's past Quirklessness a secret for a reason. Not only was it not his place to go around telling everyone, but it had been for his own protection - especially with the League of Villains and All For One actively targeting the school. But as the saying went: the road to hell was paved with good intentions. In his efforts to protect his successor, it seems to have only caused other ultimately unnecessary problems for him in the long run.

Would there ever be a moment where he wasn't failing his boy?

"I understand where you're coming from, Midnight," he slowly started, not exactly sure where to get where he was going with this. "but Quirk Counseling isn't infallible. And as for Young Midoriya… he didn't get his Quirk until last February."

Silence. Dead, heavy silence.

Out of the corner of his eye, understanding dawned on his colleagues' faces as they exchanged unreadable looks amongst each other. A part of him felt vindicated when he saw Aizawa's brow wrinkle in confusion, but that opened yet another can of worms that he was too angry to keep closed.

One problem at a time. Potentially letting them know the truth behind One For All could come later. Right now, he needed to know why Young Midoriya's homeroom teacher looked so uncomprehending of this revelation of his.

"His Quirk manifested late for his own protection. Had he not had the physical conditioning and muscle mass he has now, it would have killed him. It was in his file that he got his Quirk Status changed the week before the school year started," Toshinori said slowly, disbelief slowly overtaking the anger previously coloring his voice. Surely the younger man at least read his students' files before school had started? Right? Surely, he wouldn't be that negligent. "Did you not read it? Did you not read any of their files?"

The silence that followed his question said it all.

Hound Dog was glaring at the man, crushing his empty beer can in his hand, and even Present Mic shot his best friend a soft, "Seriously, Sho? What the hell?"

"Prejudices exist," Aizawa said, trying to justify himself. "History can be misleading. I'd rather get to know my students as they are now than have my judgment clouded by someone's opinions on them from elementary and middle school."

It took everything in Toshinori to not hit his head against the wall over and over again (it was right there, just another two or so steps). In theory, Aizawa was right on the nose. People changed, especially children. It's why their end of term report cards included comments from the teachers; it was the best way to document these changes. For that matter, teachers could be biased, prejudiced even. The myriad of cases of teachers falsifying student records due to Quirk related discrimination said as much.

But how could Aizawa, a man who prided himself for his logical decision making, be so perceptive yet so obtuse?

"I understand that, Aizawa, and you're right to a degree," The older man conceded. At least the sheer disbelief was calming him down before he well and truly lost his temper. "But have you considered that as well intentioned as that line of thinking may be, it's led you to form prejudices of your own?"

He had clearly hit a sore spot, given how Aizawa glared at him.

"They're not prejudices," he ground out through gritted teeth. "They're rational observations -"

"You saw a child struggling with a strength enhancement Quirk, automatically equated it with me, and proceeded to mistreat him over it. You wax poetry over how biased society is towards powerful, flashy Quirks, yet you completely neglect to help the students you have that are negatively affected by that belief. You also saw another child with a flashy and powerful Quirk, yet you turned a blind eye to his horrible behavior due to his 'hard work'. If that's not prejudiced, then I'm the Pope."

At the mention of the blonde, red eyed boy, Cementoss fished out a value sized Aspirin bottle, popping one in his mouth before handing the bottle off to Ectoplasm. Despite having been expelled back in September, the mention of Young Bakugou was still a headache trigger for his colleagues.

"He was a hard worker…" Aizawa doubled down, seemingly realizing how hollow the reasoning sounded.

"Hard work doesn't justify bullying!" Hound Dog growled, stalking towards the younger man. "As a homeroom teacher, it's your responsibility to make sure your students have a healthy environment to grow in!"

As the counselor dissolved into a mess of growling and barking peppered with "Aizawa" and "emotional negligence", Vlad King guided him outside to help him calm down. As the door to the courtyard was quietly shut, everyone's attention turned back to the man currently in the hot seat.

"I'll admit to my own shortcomings as a mentor," Toshinori said to get things back on track, "because when it came to Young Midoriya and Young Bakugou, I was unable to see the forest for the trees. I also thought that their relationship was a long-standing rivalry that needed to be worked through, but I should have stopped and asked myself this a long time ago: does a rivalry involve such one-sided animosity?"

"That's why I paired them against you for the final exams. It was so they could learn to work together -"

"Again, the final exams showed that this lack of cooperation was a one sided problem, Aizawa." Toshinori bluntly interrupted. "May I remind you that Young Bakugou not only assaulted Young Midoriya for attempting to follow the directions of the exam, but he told me point blank that he would rather fail outright than cooperate with Young Midoriya? In what way does that indicate an issue on both ends?"

Aizawa bit on the inside of his cheek, crossing his arms defensively.

"That's not even counting the Battle Trials, which is also my mistake. Young Bakugou was attacking with lethal force, and the only thing he said to me when I warned him to stop was: 'he won't die if he dodges.' He knew he could have killed Young Midoriya, but he didn't care."

"Damn," Snipe muttered from next to Cementoss, shaking his head.

"As I said before, I'm also not blameless when it comes to this. I should have stopped the match right there and lobbied for a stronger punishment. But do you remember what you said after seeing the recording? 'Grow up already. Stop wasting your talent.' You said this in response to him knowingly nearly killing another student -"

"You've made your point, Yagi!" Aizawa warned, his voice raised as he glared up at the older man.

"And their fight the night of the Provisional License Exam," Toshinori continued, his own voice growing louder. "Footage from the Camera-Bots showed Young Midoriya attempting to leave and deescalate the situation, only to be stopped by Young Bakugou, and yet you decided that Young Midoriya was equally at fault for what happened. In light of all of this, let me ask you this: do you hate Young Midoriya?"

He thought that Aizawa was going to go to the grave before giving an answer, given how he gripped his bicep and glared at him. but to his surprise, the Underground Hero shook his head.

"No. I don't hate him."

Present Mic scoffed, shaking his head in what seemed to be disappointment as he stared up at his friend.

"Well, that's what it looks like, Sho," he said with a grave look on his face. "Do you ever think about how you sound when you talk to him, or how it comes across when you talk about him to us?"

The Underground Hero couldn't quite hide the betrayal he felt, but it was mitigated by the guilt and knowing shame he was fighting not to express. It seemed like he wasn't used to Present Mic going against him in matters like this.

"The rest of us," the English teacher motioned to the other teachers, "really enjoy having Midoriya in class. He's kind, cooperative, and incredibly smart." His point was punctuated by Midnight, Cementoss, and Ectoplasm nodding in agreement. "You, on the other hand… you're constantly calling him 'Problem Child' and you don't acknowledge him unless you're threatening to expel him, punishing him, or otherwise criticizing him for something. Come to think of it, I've only heard you say one positive thing about the kid. One, and it wasn't even about him alone. Can you really blame people for thinking that you hate him?"

Aizawa slowly shook his head, sinking back into his chair with an uncharacteristically troubled look on his face.

"I just don't want him to get himself killed with his recklessness," he said more so to himself as he stared at his lap.

"There are way better ways of showing it instead of acting offended by his very existence," Midnight piped up, looking thoroughly unimpressed with his answer. "You can't treat people like this and expect them to completely trust and rely on you. Why else do you think he keeps going behind your back and getting into dangerous situations? For that matter, why else do you think your students are terrified to come to you for any questions they have on their assignments or anything else school related?"

Frustration clouded the younger man's face as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Trust and respect is a two-way street," Ectoplasm said. "Midoriya has been making wonderful progress in regards to his Quirk control, but that effort rarely goes acknowledged."

"We understand the hardships you've endured as a Hero," Cementoss added. "But you shouldn't take your negative feelings out on your students. They've done nothing to deserve that behavior from you."

"Your expulsion record speaks for itself," Snipe said, having been silent up to this point. "If it were just a handful of kids, we wouldn't think anything of it. because some of them just aren't cut out for heroics. But over 100 students? Something's clearly not adding up, and it's not the kids."

Aizawa opened his mouth, then closed it. For someone who always needed to have the last word, it was a little disorienting for Toshinori to see him at a loss for words. Though he still looked unflappable for the most part, the way his eyes moved showed that his colleagues' words clearly hit home for him. But whether or not he took these words to heart was something that was left up in the air.

After all, Aizawa was an incredibly stubborn man.

#mha fix it fics #anti shota aizawa #anti aizawa shota

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tiaamorosa · 2 months

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Sunset Died - Bunch Family (4)

It's a bit of a risk to venture out this far. You never know whether you'll meet the right people or the wrong ones. Jack has to be a bit patient though, Xander's shift isn't over until 4pm. "Since when is there a silo here? …".

Jack began to look around a little. He noticed even more of these huge containers. "So the rumors don't seem to be entirely untrue after all. And if you put your nose to the wind, you can smell it too… How much have they been siphoning off through the pipe? And he doesn't need to tell me they didn't have anything…".

For Jack, of course, this was all very interesting. But it didn't go unnoticed that he was here. "What are you doing here, Bunch? You have no business here…"/ "oh, I'm not looking, I'm just waiting for someone"/ "that's why you don't have to walk halfway around the building…"/ "Because of the security cameras? You could have put them everywhere instead of just at the front."

"That was a pretty clever remark, indeed. It wasn't necessary until now, but now I'm thinking about it…". Nick Alto. You can see the effects of the disaster on him too. He has lost a lot of weight and always looks a bit ill. "Like I said, I'm just waiting for someone…"/ "Who?"/ "Is that so important now? But okay, if it makes you feel better, I need to talk to Xander… about some renovations…"/ "Renovations, mhm"/ "yes. We can't expect any help from you… The people here have just as much right to a decent standard of living as you do" .

Jack took a few steps towards him. Nick replied… "decent huh? As far as I know, you've all gotten along fine here so far…"/ "are you stupid? Have you ever visited the others in person? The wind is still blowing through many people's walls, they can hardly keep up with the repairs. It's fall, winter is coming… Most people don't have heating or a fireplace! When will something finally happen here?".

Nick looked at him and took a deep breath. "It's not difficult to build a new fireplace from all the rubble, don't you think? You just have to start build it in good time…"/ "Now stop it. If you had acted from the start, most people here wouldn't have to work their hands to the bone!"/ "Mr. Bunch…".

Jack was upset and became louder. "Don't tell me to calm down, because we're running out of patience… What do you do all the time? Surely you're not just twiddling your thumbs and watching your men work… I bet you've got some stuff in there that could be useful to everyone here,"/ "there's nothing but old barrels and scrap metal in there that we're trying to recycle".

Jack got angry, so much so that he grabbed Nick and pushed him against the wall. "Are you kidding me? When are you going to get active and stop thinking about yourself all the time? You have no respect at all… What's going wrong here?"… "Jack, hey, stop it…". Xander was just coming out of the building when he noticed the commotion.

Xander pulled Jack away from Nick and held him for a moment. Even though he resisted the hold for a moment, Jack quickly calmed down again, but he still had to vent his frustration. "You've done enough shit already, Alto, so why don't you own up and help us? Our last supplies are running low, do something!"/ "Hey…".

"We try to use our resources as sparingly as possible, but at some point it won't work anymore, winter is coming and then no more vegetables will grow. We might have electricity, but so many others don't…h-hh…"/ "Calm down, Jack, you're pumping like a cockchafer"/ "hh-h, I've had enough!".

Nick turned away from the two men. And Jack was still very angry. "Come back down, will you?"/ "Don't you realize what's going on here yourself, Xander? I don't understand his arrogant ignorance, it's not getting in my head. There are people here who need help. Running water, everything…we're all under constant pressure!".

As he left, Nick heard the last words… He held his head, not only because he was pretty much slammed against the wall, but also because a lot of thoughts were going through it" And he spoke quietly to himself. "He has no idea what it's like to be under real pressure…how long is this going to go on? The whole thing must finally come to an end".

"Jack, why did you even come here, I knew it would get louder at some point". Jack had slowly calmed down again and looked at him seriously. "You've always been honest with me before, haven't you?"/ "At least I did my best not to lie to you, why?"/ "In the tanks, that's gas, isn't it? And that's exactly what was pumped out of the gas station?"/ "hh…". Xander just nodded.

"What does he need it for? There are no more cars here, but you could do other things with it instead of just bunkering here"/ "is that why you came?". Jack now came back to his senses and to the real reason why he had come here in the first place. "I still have this old generator, it hasn't been in use for a while, but… The hospital needs it. Can you maybe give me a canister or two?".

Xander rubbed his hands together. "phew…"/ "hey, don't make a long speech now, okay? You guys have more than enough of this stuff. That's a huge warehouse that could blow up in your face at any moment. and it won't be noticeable if 20 liters go missing"/"oh man…o.k., I have to go back in anyway, and lock up later. I'll see what I can do. If you have two canisters at the door tomorrow, everything will have gone well, for me and for you".

Jack accepted the offer. And hoped, of course, that it would work. Who likes walking around with two full canisters of petrol in broad daylight? The bright red color would immediately stand out. So the operation has to take place at night….

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End of Part 4

@greenplumbboblover😊

#sims3 #simsstories #sims3 story #sunset died #post apocalyptic #jack bunch #nick alto #xander clavell

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gud-soup · 2 years

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All that she wants (JJK SMUT)

(Poly n*sfw f!reader x Gojo x Geto)

a/n: sorry for not uploading, I’m preparing myself for my finals, and I’m quite stressed out to be fair, but I felt like I had to upload something…

This story was inspired by my previous post, had it in the drafts for a loooong time, but heh here it is!

Lmao the intro is fucking long, but I didn’t want to write straight up p0rn, you know?

I know that I suck at not sfw, maybe it’s because it’s weird when I write those instead of reading them, but I do want to practice and challenge myself, so let me know whether it was alright :)

➳Masterlist

"Dude! I’m telling you that she prefers the red one!"

"Well, I’m telling YOU she would look better in white!"

"Well, It happens that I’m HIS BOYFRIEND and I know what she wants"

"I don’t think so…" he mumbled

"Excuse me?"

"I said I DON’T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR “GIRLFRIEND” REALLY WANTS!" he roared.

Suguru couldn't see it, but his lenses hid reddened eyes, tears almost forming. What he said was true, at least for him. He hated himself for it. He shouldn't have these constant thoughts, but how could he? It was you afterall, of course he couldn't help himself. That lustful desire should have stopped after a while, but it just grew bigger and bigger, he wanted you, he craved you, it wasn't healthy anymore.

His wishes turned into fantasies projected into other women he claimed; he would imagine your face, your voice, your body, your expressions, hugging him, marking him, begging him, saying his name, but it wasn't enough, it was never enough.

"Stop making a scene and what is that supposed to mean anyway?"

Suguru hissed looking around, as everyone was now paying attention to that white haired guy's scream

"Exactly what I said" he breathed, quickly escaping the store

"You’re not going anywhere Satoru, what the fuck was that supposed to mean?" a hand reached Gojo's arm, stopping him

"Nothing. Just leave me alone." he scoffed walking away

"I’m not going anywhere until we solve this. You think I didn’t notice? The way you look at her? The way you talk to her? The way you treat her?" Suguru calmly said, but his tone, his feeling said otherwise. He was angry, madly furious.

He never wanted to admit his jealousy, besides, you surely were a work of art, of course you were admired, even by his best friend, his one and only.

He never cared much that Satoru would suddenly appear during his dates with you, he didn't even mind Gojo's behaviour whenever he talked to you "He's just being the usual flirty man, fun on the outside, lonely in the inside, he just wants attention and good company".

But that good company became a usual trio hang out, till none of you had free time anymore; Suguru couldn't even remember when was the last time he went on an actual date with you only, when he was alone with you, heck, he didn't even remember when was the last time he touched you. He missed you and he knew the reason, he was just too much of a coward to admit it.

"Dunno what you’re talking about" Gojo lied, avoiding eye contact

"You like her, don’t you?"

"He's my friend, my best friend, he would never, no matter how much of a hoe he is" He would repeat like a mantra, but his words towards Satoru got harsher and harsher everyday.

Part of him kept denying the evidence, but the hints were just everywere. What hurt him the most though, was that you noticed too and never minded Gojo's attention, but rather enjoyed it and played along.

"Like who? I’m THE Gojo Satoru, you forgot?"

"And because you are, I know if there's something wrong with you"

He witnessed it. Gojo Satoru changed, drastically. He became more quiet, more observing, kinder, sweeter, but for you only; he seemed the happiest, yet the loneliest, it was a rollercoaster which he wanted to leave, but couldn’t get off. It was devastating both for Gojo, who always avoided feeling these uncontrollable strong emotions and Suguru, who saw everything happening right in front of him, yet he did nothing to stop it.

"Oh shut up! You know nothing. Leave me alone"

"Wait! Satoru! Wait!"

"What now?"

"I have to meet Y/N in a bit, join us, we have to talk"

"No thank you, I'm actually a busy person, you know..."

"Oh really, and what's this important thing you have to do instead of being with your best friend?"

Gojo lifted up his gaze and carefully looked around

"Her" he pointed to a random girl nonchalantly

"Oh please, you're better than tha...you're ok...SOMETIMES... you could...there are some rare times were you don’t act like a dog in heat" Suguru tried to reply

"That was very comforting of you Geto" Gojo sighed leaving his best friend alone

"Wait! Satoru!" Geto unsuccessfully replied

That was it. Gojo was never seen again neither from you, nor form Suguru, and you two have never felt this unhappy before.

Your smile went from a fake, to an extremely forced, to nonexistent. You missed him, heck if you did, you loved his company, his joy, his laugh, his entire existence and it just vanished, without even a warning.

Geto never had the heart to tell you the truth, he opted to remain silent, but when you decided to do so as well, he felt heavy on his chest. Guilt and sadness filled him up, although it was never his fault, seeing you in that state and feeling the same way you were feeling, just made your relationship worse.

No more talks, no quality time, just emptiness.

“White one you say?”

“How did you find me?” Gojo asked not even turning around

“A best friend always knows. Catch” Suguru said while throwing Satoru's favourite drink

“We need to talk” he continued while sitting next to him

“Yeah… we do”

“Suguru listen I lov-“

“I know. I love her too, and because of that, I’m here. Me and Y/N came to an agreement. We have decided that you might tag along, in some of our activities, but let’s not go too far, she’s still my girl, and I’d like to spend some time with her alone.”

“Yeah, I get it, I guess”

Minutes of silence passed. None of them wanted to talk about the matter, it was still an open wound, but they knew, that at the end of the day, things were going to get better for the two of them

“Still thinking the red one’s better” Geto casually blurted while sipping his drink

“That’s because you have no style Suguru, look at those trousers”

“What’s wrong with my trousers?”

“The fucking size of them!”

“It’s to not publicly show my big dick”

“Or maybe it’s to compensate what you don’t have”

“Hey now”

“White is better. It compliments her soft skin, her eyes will just be so pure of light, and-“

“Yeah yeah I get it, red is still better, you haven’t seen her like I have”

“That doesn’t mean anything”

“Alright, wanna bet Slenderman?”

“Hello darling” your boyfriend surprised you from behind, lightly holding your waist, leaving a soft and delicate kiss on your shoulder

“Suguru I’m not really in the mood”

“I wasn’t aiming at anything, really, I just miss you, this, us, I think that lately we’ve neglected our relationship and I want to do better, so, I’ve brought you a little gift”

“What? Why?”

“Why not? Come on, try it”

“O-ok thanks”

Guilt was your only feeling. You didn't know why lately things were going downhills between the two of you, but it seemed like a light was just turned off and you couldn't see any happiness in it.

You knew that Geto was the best man in the world, he would shower you with love and affection, he would always come over with any kind of gift, even the smallest ones; there wasn't even once were he wouldn't think about you; yet, here you were, treating him like shit, for no reason.

You knew that it was your fault, and because of that, you tried your best to go back to how things were, though, everytime, this unusual feeling would overwhelm you, obstaculating your positive intent.

"Not this time though, I will do my best to go back as it was, to be happy again, to love him again, I miss us too, Geto" You said to yourself while taking the little bag your boyfriend handed to you, as you walked in the bedroom's bathroom.

“You look stunning baby” Geto breathed in all honesty, his eyes full of adoration, not leaving you for a single moment

“Oh yeah I see it, still think that white is better, but you look very hot Y/N” Gojo replied grinning

“Gojo! What are you doing here?” You asked purely shocked, trying to cover yourself for the embarassment

“It’s not Satoru anymore?” Gojo playfully asked now standing, carefully holding your chin, as his gaze was focused on your pretty features

“Easy now buddy” Geto firmly said watching you two with arms crossed

“Don’t act like you weren’t wishing for it darling. I saw you staring at him with hungry eyes, so quit playing. Do you really think I don’t know why whatever was between us wasn’t working anymore? It’s because you’re a slut? Aren’t you? You just wanted to have all eyes on you, including his” Geto calmly said standing up and walking towards you, there wasn't any bad intent in his tone, it seemed more like a mockery trying to cover his sadness and anger.

To each word he told you, you unconsciously just moved backwards, towards the edge of your bed

“That’s not true” you weakly tried to reply avoiding eye contact

“I said stop lying, didn’t I?” Suguru asked holding the back of your head, while pulling your hips close to him, preventing your fall

“Sugur-“

He pushed you on the bed, holding your wrists tightly, towering you

His eyes were different from before, they were pure of lust and anger

“You asked for it, now get the consequences” he smiled as you hissed at the sudden sensation of his knee right in your sensitive area. He laughed at you struggling to hold your whimpers, as he slowly started rubbing while passionately kissing you, still holding your wrists together with one hand, as the other was holding your legs open

You could hear a low chuckle on your side as Gojo was just sitting next to the bed, enjoying the scene

Geto's movements were getting a little rougher, he pressed his knee harder, right on your sweetest spot, receiving a loud gasp followed by a soft moan from you.

He let your wrists go, now fully dedicating his attention to your entire body, peppering your face, going down to your neck, leaving a few bruises here and there, to your collarbones, marking particularly your most sensitive areas, that he knew they made your eyes roll back all the time.

You started painting heavily, your boyfriend had never stopped loving to worship you, you were everything to him, he knew every single detail of what you liked and what you didn't, like the back of his hand

He slowly started to go lower, his hands sliding carefully on your abdomen, as a soft and loving caress, that tickled your stomach; you both looked at eachother with pure loving eyes, which almost felt like a lost memory, adoringly smiling to eachother, as you sat back up, eyes to the same level, never breaking the gaze

"I love you" You muttered, almost whispering, like a secret shared only by the two of you. His smile grew, tears almost forming on his eyes, that quickly faded away. He gently kissed you, pulling you closer, hoping to never let you go, and cherish you forever. You hugged his neck tightly, as he gently pulled you down

"Let us take care of you baby" He soflty said, to which you nodded

He smiled again as he went back to you, slowly removing the brand new red bra he carefully chose, as your breast were being reaveled, both the men's eyes became hungrier and their desires needier

Geto carefully proceeded to kiss the soft skin of yours, each time getting closer to your hardened nipple. As soon as he got there, he lifted up his gaze, looking for your consent, to which you soflty smiled, caressing his hair; he quickly kissed your nipple, followed by his wet tongue, lightly flicking and sucking, as his hand was cupping your tit and the other was going back to your clit

You suddenly heard Gojo standing on your other side, smiling as he looked at you, while you replied smiling back. He slowly took your hand and held it as the most fragile and precious thing on Earth.

"You know, Y/N, I'm aware I shouldn't say this, but for me, you're the most stunning and beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on, I'd really wish if you could give me a chan-" You stopped him before he could say more by pulling his arm to you as he felt over, only a few centimeters apart from your face. You looked at him with the most innocent eyes, as he replied the same; you leaned closer, filling the gap, as Gojo followed, lips caressing eachother, full of desire, breaths held, eyes closed, you smiled taking intiative, slowly letting him touch you more.

The kiss was sweet, loving, caring, nothing compared to what was going to happen next. Satoru shakingly held your chin, trying to deepen the kiss, as you cupped his face, asking for more.

Your passionate makeout slowly grew into lust, as you tried to remove his shirt and he quickly obeyed

"Slow down you two, I'd like to savour every moment, every inch" Geto said, as he looked at you two, then eagerly at your body again, his breath tickling you. Satoru and you exchanged a few glances giggling, he kissed you one last time, guiding himself to your other breast

"May I?" He asked, to which you smiled, gently offering to take his hand and kindly laying it on your chest. He took it as a signal and proceeded to please you as much as he could, never letting you go, as this was what he had always wanted, it almost felt unreal; he wanted to remember everything: your scent, your skin, your voice, your kindness, your beautiful face, your kiss, your touch, your voice and expression; he never wanted this to end

You sighed in pleasure as you closed your eyes for a second, with a smile never disappearing, who knew, that the two most beautiful men in the world were both right here taking good care of you? Seeing them so dedicated made you feel butterflies in your stomach. The feeling in your clit was way more intense, as Suguru fastened the pace. You whined, recognising that warmth, closing your eyes and clenching your fists, as you rode your first orgasm

"Seems like you're ready for more, pretty" Suguru said smirking, as he slowly started removing your underware cursing under his breath at the wonderful sight. He slowly inserted a finger, as you gasped for the sudden action; he looked at you with a big smile, as he inserted a second one

"Be a good girl and cum for me again" He said as he kissed your swollen clit, making you whimper

His hand movement was slow and steady, while he was sucking, and eating your pussy: it felt divine, besides, you didn't have sex for quite a long time

Gojo watched amused, wanting to be part of the party as well. Not resisting anymore, he quickly unzipped his pants, already hinting his very hardened cock. You watched with curiosity, unconsciously lifting a hand towards the woodened area, shamelessly palming it, as he poorly tried holding back his moan. His impatience grew bigger, and immediately got rid of his boxers and unbashedly started stroking his cock in front of your face, frowning and shutting his eyes closed

"He's so pretty" You thought when admiring him, while caressing his reddened tip as he moaned louder. Suguru watched the scene, and unconciously started pumping his fingers faster, eating you hungrily, as you arched your back in pleasure, screaming his name

Gojo hurriedly took his dick and placed it at the entrance of your mouth

"Could you please do this little favour for me, please? I need you” he didn’t know why he was so submissive, he would never ask so kindly to anyone, he would never have tears forming on his eyes for desperation, but you, you were so different, you were his biggest desire, he couldn’t think straight anymore with you around.

You smiled, wiping his tears as you slowly messaged his length kissing his sensitive tip, as he trembled. You looked at him with the most innocent eyes and took him without a warning while he loudly gasped. You smiled bobbing your head, following the rhythm of your boyfriend’s fingers

Wet sounds and moans filled the room, you were at your limit and so was Satoru, you arched your back, closed your eyes, as Gojo did the same, calling your name on repeat; a wave hitting you as you came on Suguru’s fingers while your mouth was full of his bestfriend’s semen

"So sweet, and all for me, your pussy is the best Y/N" Suguru said once he made sure to not let even a single drop fall in the sheets

"Not fair, I want to taste it as well" Gojo said, still panting from his previous orgasm. He moved towards Geto, sitting next to him, admiring the beautiful sight of your pussy, mouth watering. He looked at you and then at Suguru, the both of them smirking, as they went together to taste your juices, humming at the unison, as you held your breath for the immense pleasure and overstimulation

Geto's fingers were shoved back in you, immediately hitting the spot, as you pushed his head deeper, curling your toes, while screaming his name "That's it baby, tell him who you belong to" Suguru smirked

"Not fair princess, I want to hear mine as well" Satoru replied pinching your nipple, as you screamed in pain. He grinned now delicately massaging it, to alleviate the sting

The two of them kept making out with your pussy, as you started trembling, tears forming on your eyes, tired and sore, digging their head in for more, your nail on their scalp, finally squirting all over them, who made sure to keep you entirely clean

"Suguru was right, you taste the best darling" Gojo laughed, as he approached you and roughly kissed you, by pulling your hair and neck towards him, making you taste your own cum

Geto looked at you two amused, as he took all of his clothes off, palming himself at the sight

"Ready for the grand finale?" He whispered in your ear, not even waiting for your anwer, as he grew impatient, inserting himself inside you

"Wait, Suguru, I wanna join as well" Gojo said as he carelessly lifted you up to lay above him and placed his dick on your ass

"Do you think you can handle it baby?" Satoru teasingly asked, kissing your neck

You were just too shocked to reply, as the two of them slowly started putting their dicks in, moaning for how tight you were hugging them

The movements were regular and coordinated, but the peasure was way too intense for you to process, as you were already extremely sensitive. No proper words were coming out your mouth, just sounds of delight, while Geto kept cursing, grunting and sometimes would pull your chin to quickly kiss you, Satoru was moaning uncontrollably and loudly, blabbering your name, and pulling you close to him

You started shaking again, arching your back, digging your nails in Gojo's arms and wrapping your legs around Geto's waist, begging for more

The two of them started moving faster, both hitting your spot, the double pleasure making you a sobbing mess, as the wet sounds and the clappng became louder than before

You cried, not nowing if you craved to receive more, or asking them to stop because it was too much for you to handle. But before you could even mutter a word, you came as they followed you immediately after

You were now laying down, sandwiched by the two hot men hugging you, trying to catch their breath, smiling like never before, thinking about how lucky you're supposed to be, being wanted by both just made you feel butterflies and see the stars

"By the way, you noticed how she said MY name while coming, Satoru?" Your boyfriend teased as you turned red on the face "Are you dumb? She clearly said mine!" Gojo replied offended

"You sure you can tell by how loud you were being? I almost heard only your annoying voice... such a turn off"

"Fuck you Suguru!"

"Just did, but don't mind for more" he said pulling you closer to him

You tried to get up, to avoid hearing more from those two idiots, but your legs failed to follow you and a pair of hands caught you from behind

“Where do you think you’re going darling? You still have to try the white pair”

Hey! Hey! Hey you! If you’re reading this part, congrats for reaching the bottom, hope you liked this meh writing :) Here’s a treat! (N*sfw)

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kanna-banana · 11 months

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Long Rant you don't want to read

This is going to be unpleasant to read so I'll put a page break here and let people just scroll by if they don't want to ruin their day

You know, it's frustrating.

The whole twitter thing I mean.

For those who don't know me, I was a rather reactionary dumbass around 2014-15, I didn't actually harass anyone or was racist or anything, I was just lost and upset and someone lied to me and pointed me into a direction full of people i could hate. I was not a bad person, I may not have done a lot of bad things directly but I definitely contributed to them in a lot of ways, and I regret it.

But at some point I met people who were supposed to be "the enemy" (they were just left wing and trans) and they did not give up on me even though they probably should have, and I am so glad they didn't. I learned a lot and little by little the lies just fell apart one by one, the image they sold me of rabid leftists who call everyone a nazi and screech about you not knowing their snowflake gender of the week was a complete lie.

Then it started to hit me: what else was a lie? and I started to listen and read about it and my whole world fell apart.

It was VERY scary but I had friends who supported me, friends who were by my side and wanted to see me succeed, and with their help I built myself back up little by little. I was always a very empathetic person, and part of what almost radicalized me was the lie that the left was evil actually and they didn't want to help people, they wanted power. But that really did not make sense with a LOT of other beliefs and common opinions on the right, and now that I could see that I could be myself without fear, I was not a bundle of contradictions anymore, I wanted to help people and I could feel, for the first time in my life, that there was nothing i had to force myself to not think about because it didn't fit with my values.

I didn't have to think about the insanity that was wanting to help people but hating the homeless, I didn't need to try to justify hating while I wanted to love.

It was along that path that I finally faced my fears about identity and sexuality and wow, turns out I had repressed a LOT of stuff and it was eating me away, i was not depressed and upset all the time because "THE LEFT" was ruining the world, I was depressed because I was fucking trans and had a huge pile of internalized transphobia to sort through.

But I did it. I went through a hard time, but I survived. And I wanted to do the same people did for me.

Twitter was a great part of it (did you forget that was the subject of this rant in the first place? i don't blame you), I had access of people with different worldviews and values and I got exposed to them and they changed me for the better, in can safely say that the friends I made on twitter saved my life.

I wanted to do the same, and I had a small following, so I decided that I would show people who might have been in the same place I was years ago that no, trans people are not whatever the accounts trying to make you angry and sell you racism want you to believe, they are just normal people who are trying to survive in a world that hates them. Yes they lash out sometimes but wouldn't you? Things got so much worse in the years since them, depending on where you go online trans people seem to be enemy number one and it's kind of bonkers.

I wanted to just be me, a silly dumbass who is funny on occasion but that shows people who need that there's nothing wrong with being trans, I wanted to be an example of "just a regular person" because I knew that is enough to demolish a LOT of the bullshit people make up about us.

And it worked! I got a lot of messages of people saying I helped them accept themselves or changed the way they see trans people, I made a lot of friends I treasure a lot, and just knowing they care about me makes me want to cry of happiness.

But then a dipshit addicted to attention spent billions he did not have to turn the entire website into /pol/ 2.0 - now with more crypto scams.

It's honestly heartbreaking.

I know a lot of people think of artists first with the whole nosedive the website is having now, and yeah, they are clearly affected, but there's a lot of people who were trying to do what I was doing, just trying to show people that we are just people.

I don't think I can call that activism, but it was at least in that general direction, I was trying to help people the same way my friends helped me, and I know I reached more people than the ones who had the courage to message me. I don't say that for ego reasons, I just hope it's true because I want to help and I hope I did ok with the time I had.

I don't think I can handle another twitter clone, that website was slowly eating away at my mental health, I actually quit like a week or two ago and I do feel better because I don't have a source of doomscrolling to go to, I don't see transphobia, homophobia, open racism and anti-semitism and even antivaxx shit on my timeline, that was "the price I paid to help others" I tried to tell myself but even then, I couldn't do it.

So I quit and I don't think I can do it again in the near future, on tumblr I'm just a reblog machine and that's fine, every social media platform has its differences, I'm sure I could do what I described here on tumblr but realistically how many people would I reach? because I think it wouldn't work very well.

I'm tired, I'm hurt, I'm very upset, and honestly I'm lost.

I don't think I can help others the way I am. I'm depressed, I'm unemployed (I have a temp job but it runs out in like 3 weeks), I bet all my coins in a career change and it did not pay.

I'm slowly working on myself and I think I can go back to help others when I'm better but I wouldn't bet on it being a reality this year.

I regret a lot of things I did when I was younger, but I don't dwell on it too much because the damage is already done, all I can do at this point is survive and try to fix it in any way I can.

I'm not salty because I'm not "e-famous" on this website like I was there, it actually fucking sucked to have like 5k followers, I just feel like I'm screaming into the void sometimes and maybe it's time for me to stop and save my throat for when my words can be heard again.

So yeah, I'll keep posting to a minimum here, maybe a few silly posts here and there but mostly not serious.

I think saving my energy for when I can make a difference is the best choice, while I do that, I'll work on myself.

And post more origami I guess.

Thank you for reading.

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inkrabbit · 1 year

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Sorry my bad! I still mistake their names (of all ghouls actually I'm new around here)

Now you got me curious again about their deaths. Can you post it please? I can send you my heart if you want

You’re fine, anon! Below the cut is all of the boys and how they died, along with their age. Formatting might be wonky because I’m doing this from my phone

Ares was 28 when he died. he was a mechanic that generally tried to help anyone and everyone, and just tried to see the good in people. he went to an old abandoned house with 3 friends he was close with. like friends who always invited him out, were always so nice to him, got him gifts, etc. they wanted to do a séance since it was getting closer to Halloween. just something spooky. friend 1 had the bright idea of "hey, how about one of us goes into the broom closet?" and friend 2, who had originally been picked to go in, was way too scared. that's fine. Ares volunteered to go in instead because he didn't believe in anything. so they shut him in, had a little laugh about it. Ares kept making jokes to make sure friend 2 didn't freak out too much. he may or may not have had feelings for them. but the candle friend 3 was holding got a little too close to the decorative blanket that was hanging on the nearby wall and it caught fire. Ares didn't know what was happening. he just thought his friends screaming was to freak him out. you know, until he smelled the smoke and heard the crackling of wood. the door was stuck because the hinges were old and rusted and, in the end, the 3 friends ended up leaving to save themselves when the fire got too much. Ares was trapped in the broom closet, frantically trying to open the door but he couldn't. and in those final moments, he blamed them. when he got to Hell, he thought it was a sick joke that he was a fire ghoul and he carried his rage close. every single person that summoned him was shitty and it only made him worse. so when Nihil summoned him he was just so tired and angry and he just didn't wanna do it anymore

Astraeus was 25 when he died. while he was a Viking, he spent a lot of his time as a skald (a poet). his whole clan loved and adored him, and he did have a love interest. his best friend growing up, who had eventually become the leader of the clan. Astraeus stayed as their right hand, as well as their confidant. and everything was going great. the night before their raid, his friend asked him to sing them a song. so he did. he picked up his old lyre and strummed it while he sang of a man that had hopelessly fallen for someone well out of his league. and his friend seemed to love it. in the morning, they packed everything up and, as usual, Astraeus took his position by his friend. but this raid was different. nearly all of their own had been killed. but like the ever loyal berserker, Astraeus stayed right beside his friend up until the end. they managed to kill off all of their enemies and even found the loot his friend was looking for. a very joyous moment that was cut short when Astraeus felt a sharp, stinging pain in his back. his friend had stabbed him. and then proceeded to stab him over and over and over again, even after he fell to the ground. he wasn't offered any closure. he was just left there to bleed out. and right before he finally died, he watched through lidded eyes as his body was set on fire. even as a ghoul, he was abused and betrayed. his real name was used against him in order to make him submit and his previous masters did whatever they wanted to him. when Nihil summoned him and he saw the other ghouls, he was worried the same thing would happen

Neptune was 31 when he died. he lived in the same town as Silvanus, and died a week before him. his home life was actually very loving, and he grew up with two brothers and two sisters. Neptune was the oldest and had no problem taking care of his younger siblings and helping his parents. he proved to be a skilled hunter and took on the role of getting food for his family. fruits, veggies, meat, whatever they needed, he went out and would find. but Neptune had gotten a little too ambitious one day. it was getting closer to winter and he knew that meat and food would start to dwindle. his family wasn't the richest and he knew they relied on him. so even though he was so exhausted from his hunting through the day, he pushed on well into the night. when he finally couldn't take it anymore, he made a little camp, right beside the lake he loved to visit during the summer. he could barely keep his eyes open and ended up nodding off by the fire. his pant leg got too close and it caught fire, lighting up the rest of his clothes and body quickly. in his panic to put it out, he jumped into the lake, but the sharp temperature change threw him into shock and his body locked up. he fell below the water's surface, and though he tried desperately to call for help, the water only filled his mouth and soon his lungs. he woke up in Hell in a confused haze. an older ghoul was the one who had to explain to him what was going on. Neptune, however, was very lucky. all of his masters were respectful of him, or just in complete surprise that a ghoul actually existed. when Nihil summoned him, he just assumed it was another sweet master that he could server

Notus was 19 when he died. originally from Germany, he moved to America in order to go to college and get a new start. he missed his parents, but he loved the freedom he had on his own. surprisingly enough, he fell in with the jocks, and even was gifted a letterman jacket by the star quarterback. he always questioned his place in the group, but he never left. the day he decided to take the train to go to the city, however, was when an argument turned into a fight in the subway. he tried to ignore it and tell himself that it was okay. he would be away from it soon. but one of the men got shoved backwards and, in turn, was knocked into Notus, who fell onto the tracks. he landed face first on the metal, breaking his nose and putting him into a daze. he didn't get the chance to realize exactly what was happening before he heard the train's horn. the last thing he saw was the train barreling towards him. he woke up in Hell, scared and alone. the ghouls ignored him, save for one that tried to take him under her wing, both literally and metaphorically. Notus lacked a backbone, and the ghoulette talked him through everything. she told him to never give a master his real name, and also told him that some masters were vile and cruel. she was summoned before him. Nihil is Notus' first and only master, and while he does miss the ghoulette that helped him in the beginning, he's happy to be with his pack and actually feel like he belongs

Silvanus was also 31 when he died. his father died from a disease when he was 5, leaving his mother to raise him. she was a saint that originally came from Okinawa, and she taught Silvanus everything he needed to know. how to cook, how to sew, how to be kind to people and stay peaceful. he grew up with a Japanese accent that he eventually lost as he got older. eventually, at the age of 20, his mother took ill as well. Silvanus stopped everything to take care of her, even quitting his job at the local shop when she got worse. a lot of his savings went to medicine for her, along with the best foods money could buy. he gave her the world, and even insisted that she took it easy when her illness waned. desperate for money, Silvanus became a bounty hunter and, eventually, became an amazing sharpshooter. his mother was worried, but he always told her he would be okay. he never told her that bounty hunting helped distract him. severe depression had taken hold when she got sick, and the adrenaline of shooting and killing helped him ignore his sorrows. but he hid it well, even when she got worse again. he had come home from a successful job one day and found her laying motionless on the floor in the kitchen. he completely broke that day. he lasted for a week, but he wasn't himself. he became cold and hostile towards what little friends he had out of nowhere in a desperate attempt to cut ties and save everyone the heartache of his made up mind. he grabbed a metal box, his parents' wedding rings, and two pictures: one of his parents after they had gotten married, and one of him and his mother. he put them all in the box, locked it up and carried them out to the woods. he attached a note to the top of the box that requested it be buried with him. and when he felt ready, he slit his throat. Hell wasn't too bad. he kept to himself most of the time, but it was his masters that ruined him. they yanked his antlers and tail, pulled on his teeth, made him fight other ghouls. but he always came out on top. and he always killed his masters for their abuse. he thought the same would happen with Nihil and refused to believe in a "happy ending" until he was finally proven wrong

#asks #requests #Nihil’s ghouls #Ares ghoul #Astraeus ghoul #Neptune ghoul #Notus ghoul #Silvanus ghoul #death #death tw

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rkrispyt · 2 years

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If you listen really carefully in the sneak peek the last thing EJ says before Ricky slaps him is “Lily” my guess is Ricky got mad when EJ mentioned Lily for some reason.

Ok let me preface that I am sick today. I woke up at like 1am really sick, and at one point scrolled through Tik Tok when I couldn't sleep, and I stumbled on stuff that really sent me to a new level of angry and disappointed and hopeless.

I'm not going to share more on that, it's out there on Tik Tok for anyone who wants to go in search of it. But yeah, after the night I had, I'm in a crap mood. And I'm still not feeling well and ended up having to call off work. So I'm a grumpy pants this morning.

I say all that to disclaim: read ahead at your own risk. You will encounter a grump, pessimistic, bummed me.

All that being said, with the way this season is going I have had a feeling all along that they were going to break up Portwell for Gicky and make it EJ's fault so that fans would be in further support of Ricky and Gina, and not hang onto Portwell.

At this point with the current narrative, I feel like Ricky hitting EJ is going to be framed as EJ being the bad guy (and I feel like if EJ were to have hit Ricky instead, it would also be framed to make EJ the bad guy to be honest).

Oddly enough, at one point I also noticed "hmm, he just said 'Lily', didn't he?" in the promo, glad that wasn't me imagining things and you noticed it too.

We know from the episode description that some real buttons are pushed causing EJ to think he took things too far. I know that's about the situation overall but I'm assuming this is a specific example of that.

My guess is that things get heated between Ricky and EJ, and EJ says something that's a real low blow and crossing a line, and Ricky reacts by slapping him without thinking.

And I think we'll get Gina, already upset about the letter, now saying "how could you say that, what's wrong with you?" to EJ as opposed to the girl who seemed to infer she was in love with EJ last episode being upset with her friend for hitting her boyfriend who didn't deserve it.

Because, this is where the shitty part of my brain that overanalyzes and ruins surprise parties and is subconsciously collecting information and observing human behavior kicks in...

If Ricky hits her boyfriend, but it all still seems to be leading to Portwell breakup and building up wanting the audience to root for Ricky and Gina, then I don't think for one moment the slap can be framed as unjustified by Ricky. It has to work in his favor. And with only a couple episodes left until the finale, I don't think there's time for Gina to be upset with Ricky about it and then come back around by the finale (and supposedly prior to that ep).

I frankly don't think there's even time for Portwell to truly reconcile about the letter and then fall apart again for a breakup.

Unfortunately I think it makes more sense for the story they seem to be telling that this slap will be another nail in the coffin for Portwell. Another thing EJ does that causes a further rift between them, with the letter incident having already popped their Honeymoon bubble. It seems, looking at the timeline remaining, that Portwell having problems can only gain momentum from here, not reverse course.

That is my incredibly pessimistic, I'm sick and uncomfortable and haven't slept, I hate that this is the way they're going about this entire season and storyline when this show is capable of so much more and there are so many better ways to do it that are so obvious, hot take. I cannot find an ounce of optimism at this point.

I'm sorry to drag everyone down but...after seeing the stuff I did, I'm just done. I just can't anymore.

It's been so so long since a ship won my heart, and the experience of shipping and sharing that with others was as joy-inducing as this one has been. Even with the toxic part of this fandom, everyone has been lovely outside of that corner of hell - even outside of fellow Portwell shippers. Last summer was so wonderful as a result, especially finally coming out of isolation (and I mean all alone hadn't hugged anyone in well over a year, going nowhere, zero risk isolation) after lockdown. It's hard to just make that stop or have it end when I'd been wanting more, but it seems like the show is making that choice for me.

#portwell #hsmtms spoilers #hsmtmts speculation #portwell spoilers #portwell speculation

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astrogenica · 2 months

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listen i love my dad and i know he does his best okay. but the way he treated me like a son my entire childhood right up until puberty started and then immediately rejected me was really fucking hard. it actually fucked me up a lot. it hurt. it still hurts. i remember the way he yelled at me when he saw my first used pad in the trash because "you're supposed to wrap that shit up, i don't wanna see or touch that!" i think it was the first time i ever felt ashamed of puberty. i remember him remarking on how much i was eating, but no longer in a positive light, talking about a healthy appetite- in a "you're gonna get fat if you keep that up" way. i think it was the first time i was ashamed of my eating habits; i went vegetarian soon after. i remember how he threw a tantrum when i decided to quit sports in high school and focus on theatre (because the coach was really mean and the girls kept sexually harassing me) - the rant was about the waste of money, "because why did i even bother buying you equipment you're not going to use?", neglecting the fact i'd already worn it out to bits over the years and that i still wanted to go outside and play catch with him. but i knew what it was really about- he was losing me, he thought. he didn't care that i still wanted to practice, that i still wanted to play catch with him. we never did play catch again. i remember him refusing to look at me if i wore something he felt was too revealing, i remember how upset he got when i wore heels and was suddenly taller than him, i remember how mad he got the first time he saw me leaving for work as a waitress wearing red lipstick, i remember i remember i remember.

i'd been ready to come out, then. or so i thought. but feeling my father's rejection - followed closely by my uncles, my grandfather - made me second-guess that. he clearly didn't want a son in me anymore- he was already looking to my brother for that, waiting for him to come into his own masculinity as he grew up, seeing the start of it somewhere in his boyish little face. no, he wanted me to be his daughter now - now, when i was finally ready to give up the word, when i was finally ready to be his actual son - but without his support, or my grandfather's, or my uncles', or my community as a whole's... in addition to the fact that my mother had always always always wanted a girly girl... i fawned. i femininized. if everyone was going to treat me like a girl now because my body was changing in ways i didn't even like, against my will, then fine. i'd be a girl. i'd be a daughter. and i'd be the best daughter. because i don't just have a brother - i have a sister too. one my father was not allowed to be there for due to extremely messy circumstances and a crazy ex-wife - one he was looking for me to replace now, instead. and i've essentially been trying to do that since middle school, only really starting to be my true self again years after i left home. no longer trying to be the stand-in kid. no longer trying to be a double-sided cardboard replicate of what a son or daughter should be. just being me, no matter what that is. which at this point seems to be just. me. there's male, there's female, there's son, there's daughter, and then there's me. not quite either. just some kid.

don't get me wrong, i'm glad he's closer with my brother and that they actually get along now cause for a while there they were having their own problems too. and i know he has trauma around father-daughter stuff thanks to how things went down with my sister, i get it. but the way he 180'd on me during such a difficult time in my life... i really needed my dad. and i didn't feel like i could talk to him. i barely felt like i was allowed to exist around him. i hated asking him for anything because it felt like he got angry every time i opened my mouth. there was a while there, before i left home, where i really thought my dad hated me. and though i know he doesn't and never did now, it did do lasting damage.

i think the worst part of it all, though, is i can't talk to him about any of this. his own mental health is too fragile. my choices are to tell him how he fucked me up and watch him tank himself with guilt, or never say a word and let him keep the solace that comes with knowing he did mostly right by at least one of his kids. no matter what, i'll be in pain, too. and if there's one thing i learned, it's to suffer in silence.

yes, daddy, i'll wear a modest dress under my graduation gown so you can be proud as you watch me take my diploma - even though i know you're imagining my sister in my place.

yes, daddy, i'll be the perfect bride so you can be proud walking me down the aisle - even though i know you're wishing it was my sister instead.

and yes, daddy, i'll be the perfect mother someday so you can be proud as you watch me care for my children - even though you wish it was my sister and her child you're watching instead.

yes, daddy, i'll go fishing with you because my brother doesn't like it, and i'll accept that i'm just your stand-in son - for the day, this time, not for good. i know

yes, daddy, i'll help you put up that shelf - but only my brother isn't around to help instead. i know tomorrow you'll ask him instead.

yes, daddy, i understand my place - i'm your golden child, but only until one of the others wants your attention.

yes, daddy, i understand - you weren't looking for me to be your son or your daughter. you just wanted me to be your validation.

yes, daddy, i'll validate you - i'll always be there. always smiling. always waiting for someone else to mess up so i can take their place again.

always waiting for you to want me again.

#daddy issues #text post #vent #venting #vent post #sometimes i think he really loves me better as a daughter or a son #sometimes i think he really loves me most when im his genuine nonbinary but definitively masc-leaning kid #sometimes i think he doesn't actually love me much at all #sometimes i think i'm his favorite #i'm right and i'm wrong and i'm neither and i'm both and i'm everything and i'm nothing #and i'm dumb #btw i don't think dad did any of this stuff on purpose #it just feels like that from my perspective #family is hard

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echantedtoon · 6 months

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Im Blue Ch13 Tsunami Incoming P3

Too much. Too much was happening too fast it was almost vomit inducing. Panic. Fear. Adrenaline. Confusion. But that's to be expected when she was in the situation she was in now. Bodies. Many many bodies pressed up against each other running or walking on the sidewalks bumping against her as the tinier older woman yanked her along. Death grip on her wrist perfectly gripped harder than a crocodile's bite so much it hurt as she lead Blue off somewhere she couldn't see. Among all the yelling, footsteps, and sounds of cars going by on the streets as they all mindlessly went somewhere. Hopefully to safety. Her grandmother hadn't given them much of a warning, having her grab anything of importance and emptying the money out of the register before literally grabbing her like an angry mother would a misbehaving child and literally dragging her and their two bags of items out the door and into the sea of people also heading somewhere. Hopefully somewhere safe. But that wasn't the most scary part to her. It was the Tsunami. A TSUNAMI!? What were the chances of that happening literally after that non emergency call she made about seeing if there was a warning!? And the shaking!? WHY DO THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO HER!? It was like misfortune always followed her where ever she went! She couldn't ever catch a break could she?

"ONE AT A TIME FOLKS!!," a man's voice cut over the air loudly and a bit off sounding. As if he was speaking through some kind of microphone or megaphone. "KEEP MOVING TOWARDS THE INNER CITY FROM THE BEACH!! FOLLOW THE MEN WITH THE YELLOW VESTS DIRECTING!! NICE AND EASY NOW!! NO PUSHING!!....HEY!! YOU!! NO JAYWALKING IN THE STREETS WITH THE CARS!! NO ONE TRAMPLE OVER ANYONE ELSE!! THERE"S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR ALL!! JUST KEEP MOVIN' ALONG!!"

Yes! Like that was very comforting!! This must've been the evacuation process her granny told her quickly about before they were forced to flee their home. ....OH GOD THEIR HOME!! What was going to happen to her home!? She's lived there's ever since her grandma took her in! That place was like a temple offering her safety when she needed it most! And now she was forced to leave it because a tsumani was coming their way!? HOW WAS ANY OF THIS FAIR!? Onwards and onwards she was yanked and tugged along by her grandmother all the while fear and a foggy mind made it hard to think straight, with her wrist hurting by how much pulling her granny was doing and how tightly she held onto her. Making sure neither of them got separated from the other as they ran for what seemed like an eternity. Twisting left and right, straight and all kinds of directions with her antenna pressed against her head from being out in public so closely packed together like this. She felt like a can of sardines! In fact....she wasn't sure how much time had passed before the two of them finally began to slow down and the bodies pressed up against her began to spread out. She was very thankful for that fact tho. By the way her legs ached, they must've ran at least a good few blocks and neighborhood streets.

"Keep it moving people!," another man's loud voice called although this one was different from the other man's who was using the megaphone earlier, "Everyone head towards the city and seek shelter immediately at the nearest available center or building. This is NOT a drill! I repeat! NOT. A. DRILL!! Everyone seek shelter from the elements as soon as possible once in the city line!! Remain calm and keep moving in an orderly fashion!!"

Orderly huh?? Since when was a tsunami orderly!? ...Huh. Speaking of which, she didn't hear or feel any heavy rumble vibrations from anymore cars. Just lots and lots of people still walking. They must've been the stragglers that were too much in a hurry to use their cars or like her and her grandmother didn't have one...Speaking of said old woman. Her antenna twitched and head turned down towards the older woman who huffed and puffed and by their still attached hands, Blue could tell that her grandmother was shaking slightly.

"Grandma?," she asked slowly, "Are you alright?"

It took a moment but the older lady nodded and spoke, "Y-Yes. I-I'm just not u-used to moving s-so much s-so fast. T-T-These old bones of mine aren't what they used to be I-I'm afraid."

"We should stop so you can rest-"

"And let that water works c-catch up to us?", she huffed, "I'd sooner roll over and beg like a d-d-dog before I do that! I-I can manage. We need to g-g-get to the city and the nearest shelter immediately! A t-tsunami strikes within an hour or two from the warnings! So I don't h-have time to rest. I h-have to make sure you're somewhere safe from any danger. That's my job. So q-q-quite your worrying and keep stepping."

***********************************************************************************************

Y'know he couldn't remember the last time he had ever had just a week off or two for himself. It was nice. Relaxing even. Being the captain of a crew of four and a pro hero full time wasn't exactly an easy feat to manage, in fact every time he went out on the job it could would only promise danger. But seeing as he had time to kill now taking a small vacation there wasn't anything to worry about...Uh...Besides cleaning his home that it. Being a hero full time meant sometimes your home could get a little neglected from being so tired and long work hours. So his place was in need of a bit of a spruce up, but he took care of that the first three and a half days of what was supposed to be his one month vacation. After all he knew his crew could handle themselves on vacation for a little while too, Sirius was taking care of the Oki Mariner between her vacation days, the biggest threat of Innsmouth and his siblings being taken care of, he had gotten a phone call from the police chief stating all sensitive equipment was safely recovered, and he didn't have any other responsibilities to worry about at all before he was supposed to go back to work. And he was making the most of it. It's just what this old sailor needed after a stormy sea life like his. It wasn't until maybe a week had passed since the last time he worked before he received that fated phone call. The wind was picking up outside and he could tell a storm would be coming soon. He was just sitting there watching the tv as one would do when you were on vacation. When his house phone rang catching his attention. Huh. he wasn't expecting someone to call him at this hour, but oh well. He learnt by now he should always answer the phone in case of emergencies, and that's exactly what he did. Reaching over from where he sat he easily grabbed the ringing phone and brought it up to his ear.

Leaning back where he sat he sighed before answering, "Yeah?"

"CAPTAIN!?," a female voice loudly shot through the phone making him wince and instantly pull his head away from the loud attack on his eardrums.

"OW! What the-"

"Captain, we have an emergency! You need to report back to the docks right away!"

....he blinked and slowly looked back to the phone in silence for a moment. Hey! He knew that voice! The phone was held back up to his ear, his expression now one of confusion and serious concern. "Sirius?! Why are you calling me at this hour?! What's the matter?!"

"There's not a lot of time to explain!," she came through quickly and sounded slightly panicked, "That static shock I experienced a while ago wasn't just an accident!!"

"WHAT!? Yer not makin' a lick of sense!"

"Sir! What I heard wasn't static or anything like that! Those sudden high frequences were from an underground tremor from out in the ocean!! It was the warning before the storm! A seaquake happened off the coast a little more than a day ago!"

Anything he was holding in that moment dropped to the floor as he rapidly jumped to his feet wide eyed, "WHAT!?"

"Severe Weather Moderators were tipped off by civilians of mysterious reduction in the coastline before their seismometer picked up frequences from the quake! Sir we have a tsunami on our hands! You're needed down right away to help in the evacuations!"

Sirius didn't have the chance to say another word before the phone was dropped and he ran towards his equipment. A tsunami!? Well if it wasn't one thing after another. Those things could bring disaster and dangerous rains! If there was one thing he hated more than villains it was when the sea life turned dangerous. Oh well. No time to start complaining now. An incoming tsunami was headed right their way and he was needed to help get everyone out. He just hoped with how quick these suckers were that there was still time for everyone to make it out safely.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #mha #mha selkie #i'm blue

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badheart · 1 year

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the only reason she had mentioned her own relationship, was due to the inner struggle that she experienced in trying to find some common ground with futaba, maybe even come to understand her in the end. she knew that the circumstances of her relationship were not only unconventional, but dangerous—proven by the fright that she had experience upon first seeing underneath his clothes. however, the visceral reaction that fang gave her made her flinch, wincing with every word that left her lips. rei didn’t expect anyone to understand or accept the terms in which it happened, but to be mocked like that, truly hurt. her lips were pursued together, frowning ever so slightly while averting her gaze. her face heating up due to the embarrassment. suddenly, she regretted confiding in her altogether. “why you always have to be so mean…” rei mumbled, but regretted her words as soon as they left her, considering jiro was no different. they both acted in ways that she disagreed with, & yet she didn’t try to change them, but of course, fang would only see it when it came to her. it frustrated her, being in another difficult spot with a friend—as if with futaba it hadn’t been enough.

“do you really think i did it over desperation?” if that was the case, then she’d accepted being with just anyone before, & not waited until someone asked her out. the fact that this was coming from fang made it all the more frustrating, as she thought that out of the two of them, she’d understand a moment of impulsivity. “you humoured those guys even when they were being creepy. you didn't even know the meaning behind the name you have tattooed on your skin." but of course, none of that would matter. after all that, she felt defeated, because no explanation that she gave her would make any of this any less ' bad ' in her friend's eyes. it brought her back to feeling just as she did back home, where rei felt as if she had to justify her existence. her head lowered down, hiding her face. "there was just something familiar about him..." not that it made it any better, but that feeling had played a factor in her decision.

she ended up bringing a hand to her face, obscuring her vision for a moment as she gathered herself. "forget it." her voice was low, as if she was speaking to herself. rei sniffed, wiping off the outer corner of her eye. some distance between them was placed, & as much as she wanted to be alone right now, asking fang to leave made her fear losing her altogether. instead, her arms would end up holding onto herself, knees against her chest & her face buried in-between, staring ahead.

"Huh? You should know me, I don't sugarcoat shit." If anyone was mean in this second, then it was Rei for feeling so, while she had been simply spilling facts (in her opinion). Did she really expect her to take fully her side in this matter, after her boyfriend had been such a dick towards her? Even before he knew what had happened, to possibly fully blame her. And on the next day, she had been stuck with him in his car, forced to listen to him and his lecture. Not that anyone was completely wrong in this particular case, but she sure had imagined her morning differently, and certainly decided for herself not to drag Rei along anymore, if they were to go out. Probably would not happen anymore anyway with everyone having seemingly found the love of life. Even if short lived, for now her friends seemed to be busier with their stupid men.

"What then, love at first sight?" She had to snort, no way... also how. It sounded rather superficial. Fang got slightly angry, when she mentioned those three assholes again, but appeared to be upset when Ji-eun was mentioned right after and she even pressed her hand against her ear, as if to protect it from Rei's accusations. "I didn't accept those guys as my boyfriends though," she finally argued back. "What does it even matter? I didn't know they would be such creeps, especially to you." Perhaps half a lie, knowing this type of men far too well, but she had been fine with it. Her standards were not overly high. Fang pouted, still holding her ear, which offered some weird comfort. "I just wanted to have sex finally again." And other things. In that matter, she sure could be a bit desperate herself. Normal guys did not seem to fall for her and were usually too normal for her own tastes anyway, as she was not looking for some dutiful man like Futaba, that would provide for her and all. No, she just wanted to have a little bit of fun, and be a little bit loved. "This still explains nothing, or at least not why you would agree to an instant relationship with him..." For sure, she should be happy for Rei, but she only felt betrayal, and a little bit envious that seriously Rei, the one who never tried to get anyone, suddenly ends up with a guy, she could already consider her boyfriend. That was not fair, and she bit her lip as she stared at her, wondering if it must be her looks after all, or why would a guy fall this instantly for her? Or was he just using her?

"..." She could hear her little sniffle very well, and honestly, she did not know what to do, even less when she distanced herself from her. Fang stared at her wheelchair, wondering if she should just go, but instead she forced Rei back towards her, even if she did not want to, her grip would not budge. Placing her chin on top of Rei's shoulder and hugging her, with her arms below Rei's, wrapped around her torso. No, she did not want to lose that. Her hair was so silky.

#╳ ——「 query.」#mugunghwc

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the-half-blood-heir · 1 year

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The Creature (1)

She called the creature many names - "Little Rogue" "Thief" "Sticky Fingers" and even "Thumbless George" (for the fun of it) - but most of the time, she called him "Little Rogue," and then, after a while, only once he'd offered her a piece of his treasure (a largely crumpled piece of foil) did she start calling him, "My Rogue," or even "Roguish Fiend."

The strange-coloured Niffler (blue, the beast was Russian blue - no, not the cat, but the actual colour) was a menace, at first, stealing everyone's valuables - but to Enid, he was an entertaining little fellow, whose feet prints she found in the floured floors of the kitchen (which he was the cause of) to be quite cute.

And he was endearing, she realised, his angry face, and the hissing sounds he made at the children who once found him caught in the trap they meant to catch a rat in.

But Enid also found a strange sort of kinship in those green eyes that stared in hers - perhaps it was the colour of their eyes, or the fact that he was prodded at by the children in the same way that she was prodded at by the adults when they came in to view the children before adoption day - and Enid decided, enough is enough.

There was no one to protect her from their touchy hands, or uncomfortably smooth fingers (a clear sign they hadnt worked a day in their life... unlike herself), and Enid looked around as the little creature made cries, wondering if it's mother was nearby, or perhaps, friends...

If it had any.

She let his cries go on for one moment longer, before she snapped when a boy, Buford Hayes, took a rock and threw it at the creature, narrowly entering the trap through one of its holes and hitting the paw of the poor creature, who hissed and jumped back -

And Enid didn't care anymore about the creature - if it had a parent, or siblings, or someone who could come save it, because at that moment, the little creature seemed so much like her. Trapped. Caged. Enclosed within the walls of the Orphanage. And more importantly -the creature was alone, very much like her, with no form of defense, except...

Edin's fists.

Which she used very well, after pushing past the boy and opening the trap, never minding the wire that stuck itself into her skin, drawing blood, or the hissing sounds of the little creature, who reminded her so much of... an otter? A beaver? Enidwasn't sure, but she didn't think much on what the creature looked like, as she stared into his eyes for a moment, and telling him, wordlessly, "I'm only helping."

Ignoring the questions and shouts from the other children, Enid quickly lifted the trap so that the closest part to the creature no longer trapped it. And without a second glance, but a very long first one, the creature had bolted.

And the children groaned and complained and cried -

Some of them pulling Enid's hair. Shoving her to the ground, before she got up and punched the face of the closest boy towards her.

Buford Hayes. Man did she hate him.

He was a liar, and a cheat, and a bully. And an abuser of animals, she supposed she could add to the list -

And women, or girls, who were so much smaller than him - a thing quite evident when he sent a punch back Edin's way, his fist clashing with her cheek, sending fire along her cheekbone and nose and eye socket.

She thought it would have come out, which only angered her, bringing her to lash out once more (a final shot, she told herself) and sink her teeth into his flesh.

She kept biting until the Caretaker came running to see what all the shouting was about. And clearly, there was much - because there was blood, and two children fighting it out - biting and pulling and spitting and screaming and hissing. Enid, throughout it all, kept silent, only biting down hard on her teeth, preparing herself to use them once more, should the moment present itself.

But it didn't. Not when there was intervention. And then Buford and Enid were sent to confinement - made to stand in a dusty cupboard (Buford was too big for the cupboard so he was made to stand between his bed and the peeling wall) for a total of one hour, before they were to apologise to one another.

Buford apologized and was let go.

Enid didn't.

And so, she went the rest of the day standing with her hands behind her back, the cupboard locked, too small to sit in or be comfortable, for another one and a half hours, before she was sent to her room (which she shared with another older girl) without dinner, and if she wasn't going to apologise after, then she wouldn't have breakfast.

Enid knew they couldn't starve her - because if she died, and her bones were discovered, then surely, the police would come and the government would shut them down for mishandling of children left in their care. (Enid didn't know how it worked, but this seemed the only logical. Little Enid didn't know much about the corruption of the government, no. Not until she grew a little older and faced the exact same scrutiny and disgust from the Wizarding folk, would she realise that justice was only an idea created by the rich, to appease the weak.)

So, Enid sat by herself in her room, looking out of the window, hoping that the little creature was safe and with his family... if he had any. And if he didn't, then Enid only hoped that he was safe and would go to bed with a warm tummy. Unlike her - but it was alright, because while being hungry made it difficult for her to fall asleep, she did eventually fall into a very deep one. (A hunger induced sleep, only made possible by the weakness of her bones. Not that she was very weak or hungry. This is just the author being ridiculously dramatic.)

Lack of regret also acted as a cool blanket for Enid, who had the smallest of smiles on her face when she thought of the sound her well-closed fist made in contact with Buford's face (and more specifically, his nose), along with the sight of a small dribble of blood that fell from his nostril and into his mouth... before that dribble was stoppered by a cloth that was (not very gently) shoved up his nose.

Regardless, Enid was quite pleased with herself for that day - because not only did she save a little creature who reminded her so much of herself (which made her feel as if she had saved herself, all in all), but she also managed to sock Buford in the face, which was a triumph all on its own.

#oc: enid #oc: rogue #niffler #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle #harry potter #hogwarts #the creature - 1

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msmarvelwrites · 3 years

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For Old Times' Sake

Summary: “Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue,”

Pairing: TFATWS Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Explicit sexual content, Vaginal penetration, fingering, Choking, Bucky with the filthy words, mutual pining.

Word Count: 2.8K

Authors Note: WOW! It has literally been a hot minute hasn't it? I cant say that I’m not a little excited about this 3rd lock-down in Ontario because it means I can actually find time to write. I’m sorry it’s been so long, babes. Anyways, enjoy! (I’m actually the worst and it’s been so long since I’ve done this!) The Biggest Thank You to @sweeterthanthis for literally cheering me on the entire time. This was such garbage before you came along 😂 I had so much fun with this one babe 💕 thank you for all you do ✨

The wind whipped against your face, bruising your skin with it’s callousness. Though the unwelcomed lash was nothing compared to what was to come. Or who, for that matter.

It had been longer than you cared to admit. The dodged calls hanging at the bottom of the icon on your phone serving as a cruel reminder of how cold you had been. Of course, it was never in your job description to take care of Bucky after Steve left— but there was an implication that made you run for the hills.

You couldn't do anything for him - give him anything. The last five years had consisted of running and trying to start over.

Besides, after the Accords, in the government's eyes you were just as fucked as Hydra. An ally turned fugitive the moment you’d chosen your side in that airport. You’d fight with yourself most nights that you decided with your head, but your first evening with a man who had bruised your lips with promises of what would come may have had more pull than anything else.

The same man that had called you every week for the past six months… The same man you had spent countless nights with, years of your life you would never be able to scrub away, no matter how hard you tried.

You had watched from afar as half of the world returned, their loved ones welcoming them home with teary eyes and broken hearts. You watched as he came home. His eyes, always scanning the crowds waiting for you. Waiting to see your face.

It made all of this so, so much worse. This was definitely not the homecoming you could have hoped for.

“We’re nearing the drop.” Your comm’s rang with a woman's voice who had helped smuggle you onto the craft. You weren’t exactly welcome in europe at the moment- or anywhere for that matter. The government did not take lightly to your’s and Sharon’s betrayal. You’d think that after everything the world had seen they would be a little more forgiving, but you couldn't exactly blame them for their trust issues either.

You could, however, blame yourself.

As soon as your feet hit the ground you were off. The distress call had come from Sam earlier that evening and now with the sun setting you could only hope you weren't too late. You tried to push the man who had haunted your thoughts for the past few years out of your head, desperate to focus on the task at hand.

Bullets exploded through the air, a warning as you were approaching the large shipping container unit. Your comms went static as they began to connect with Sam’s, his voice ringing through your ears as—

“Sam, a little help here!”

His voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

“I’m on my way - called in some back up.” Sam grunted as the sound of strangled yelps echoed around you.

“Back up? Who do we know that-” Bucky’s words were cut short as he let out a growl, the sound of his vibranium arm whirling in the background.

You rushed in without a second thought, the sound of his pain too raw as it ripped through your chest. Before you could assess the danger, you charged forward, hurling yourself at a large man pointing his gun right at-

With a loud thud, the man hit the ground. Your combat boot, heavy on his throat until he went still, and with it came silence. It was deafening despite the explosive gunfire around you.

“Y/n?”

Your name ripped through the air, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. Back turned and body rigid, you were frozen in place. Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue, soft and get so personal. Like no one had spoken it before.

“Y/n, what are you-”

Sam's voice cut the newly cropped brunettes words off, “I got two coming in on your left, Buck. Oh- and welcome back, Y/L/N.”

You smiled sheepishly at Bucky, pulling your gun from its holster and flicking the safety off as you closed your distance with him. Despite the aggravation apparent on his face, a broken smile seemed to be pulling at the corners of his lips.

“Here we go again, huh?” You chimed, your eyes locking with his just as all hell broke loose.

The trip back to Sam and Bucky’s base was one filled with uncomfortable silence, and a tension that had your blood running cold.

Once the adrenaline of the fight had worn off and you were left face to face with Bucky Barnes, the guilt began to creep in.

“So…” Sam started from the backseat of the beat-up truck, the suddenness of his words startling both you and Bucky for a moment. “Long time no see.”

The scoff that left Bucky’s lips wasn't as subtle as you imagined he meant it to be. You tried not to let it bother you; in fact, you had prepared for this. How he might react when you finally returned home. What you weren't prepared for, however, was how indescribably gutted you would feel to watch him - eyes trained to the road ahead - as he gritted his teeth at your proximity.

To say that yours and Bucky’s relationship before the snap was easy would be incredibly delusional. It was messy and at it’s best dysfunctional. But for whatever reason, the two of you looked beyond that. He saw through you like no one ever had and before you knew it, the two of you were glued at the hip. It didn't make sense, but no questions were ever asked.

You just fit.

And of course there was the sex. Good god, you could feel your thighs clenching at the thought.

The way’s Bucky knew how to take you apart, with an accuracy that only he had. How he had your toes curling and body vibrating from the flick of his tongue. How he would have you screaming the most filthy things for him, all while begging to never ever—

“Y/n?”

Sam’s voice was like an ice bath. Your name yanking you back into the present and the question at hand. What was the question again? You couldn't think straight. Not when Bucky was staring at you the way he was, one brow cocked and that same familiar smirk plastered on his lips. If you didn't know any better, you’d think he could read your thoughts.

“Sorry- I… I was…” You couldn't seem to bring yourself back to this realm, too lost in the Super Soldier’s stormy eyes to remember what exactly you were trying to say.

“He asked you where you’ve been, Y/n.” Bucky spoke your name like it was a curse, laced with razor sharp ache and pain. His eyes told a different story though. The way he looked at you; the same way he always did.

With a warmth that only he had for you. It made you shiver.

“Running, mostly.” You started, your body physically breaking your gaze with Bucky. It was too much, watching him glare down at you. And maybe you deserved it.

“And you never thought to, I don't know, call me?” Bucky’s words were spiteful, oozing with a disdain that was beginning to wear down your patience.

“It wasn't like that, Buck-”

“You can’t call me that anymore.” He snapped, his eyes trained on the road. Your gaze snapped to him, brow arched as you all but scoffed at him.

“Oh, I can't?” You chuckled, but the sound came out flat. He had every right to ask you where you've been. Hell, get angry if he wanted. But the way his words seeped with disgust made your blood boil.

“Okay, okay guys. Let’s all take a breath and just—”

“Shut up, Sam.” You both snarled, causing Sam to roll his eyes as Bucky pulled into a long winding driveway with a small log cabin sat at the end of it. You reached for your seatbelt until your door swung open.

“You two figure your shit out. Whatever this is,” Sam motioned to the space between you two, “ isn’t leaving this car. I’ll be inside. Feel free to come in when y'all have killed and made up, okay?” With that, Sam slammed the door leaving Bucky and you alone in your static tension.

Bucky worried on his lip, his eyes trained to his lap. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words seemed caught in your throat.

“You didn't even call…”

It was so quiet, you almost didn't hear it. But you did…

Voice small and so filled with ache; it kicked you in the stomach, the guilt washing away any anger you had felt.

“Bucky… I- I couldn't.” You forced out, tentative as you met his gaze, stomach dropping as your eyes locked with his.

“I thought I lost you. I thought - I mean, fuck - you were all I cared about.” He sighed, clearing his throat as if it would help ease his discomfort. “I looked for you, ya know?” He chuckled, but there was no warmth behind it. Just a brokenness that made you squirm.

“It’s not your fault—”

“Oh, I know it’s not.” Bucky quipped, his eyes flicking away from yours and turning back to face the cabin. “It was your own selfish decision.”

You scoffed, head snapping back to meet his glare. “Selfish? Bucky, I had no other choice. Not everyone can be pardoned for their crimes. It’s not like I had Steve Rogers advocating for my freedom!”

Bucky only rolled his eyes, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight, you swore he might rip it clean off the car. “Don’t bring him into this. You don't think that I would have done everything to get to you? To clear your name?”

You laughed bitterly, blinking away the tears that welled at the corners of your eyes.

“You gotta at least give me more credit than that, Doll.” The pet name rolled off this tongue easily, washing over you, and making you freeze.

“Please don’t call me that…” You faltered, wiping away a stray tear that rolled down your cheek.

It seemed the tension dissipated in that moment, silence heavy between you both as Bucky reached out, his flesh fingers finding a tear and brushing it away. You tried to speak, but with everything that had been said, and all that would never be, you decided words just weren’t enough.

You didn't have time to object before his lips were on yours, your body moving at its own accord as he pulled you onto his lap, your thighs either side of him as his tongue swept across your bottom lip. You tried to moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound. He rendered you breathless, his taste intoxicating as you melted into his embrace, grinding into him and shivering when a familiar growl slipped from his lips; vibrating against your mouth.

“Fuck, I missed you.” You moaned out, clutching his jacket as you licked down his neck. His skin was burning against your lips, the rumble of his breath heavy against your ear as he let out a dark chuckle, urging you on.

“Well, if you had just called me—”

Before he could finish the sentence, you reached for the recliner, snapping it forward as you toppled forwards onto Bucky’s chest. His words fell back into his throat, hands automatically finding your hips to steady you while you fumbled with his belt.

“Doll—” He tried to start, but you swallowed the name with your kiss, heated and rooted in a desperate need to feel him again. You ached for him in a way you’d never felt before.

Maybe what you had was unfixable. Maybe it was beyond repair, but with the way he was kissing you and hiking down your pants, it didn't matter. You were drunk on him, and by the way he bucked his hips, so was he.

You shivered as his vibranium fingers looped into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down over your legs as you both awkwardly tried to move in the cramped seat. You wanted to laugh, but as his cold thumb swiped through your slick folds, all you could do was whine.

“So wet for me…” He hummed, teeth sinking into your throat as he pulled a whimper from your lips.

You cursed, hands propping you up on either side of him as he dipped his index finger into you, the intrusion enough to have your back arching into him, desperate for more.

But Bucky was a tease. And even now, after all of this time, it was the very thing that had your buckling above him. Pleading and begging for more.

“Look at you.” He started, his eyes dark as he pushed deeper inside, his finger curing into you as you gasped.

“P-please, Buck.” You begged, grinding down onto his hand. To your dismay he only chuckled, watching intently as you came undone around him.

“I told you,” He started, lifting you off of him and tossing you against the backseats, “Don’t call me that.”

You couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of your throat as he awkwardly crawled towards you. But the look in his eyes had your stomach twisting into something that emulated fear. It was guttural as he pressed into you, the outline of his cock digging into your drenched folds.

You bit back a moan, eyes rolling back in your head as his cold fingers brushed against your core, pulling himself free from his boxers.

“Do you still love me like you did?” He spoke, and though the words were soft and filled with promises you had broken before, there was a darkness in his voice.

“I never stopped.” You admitted. And it was true. But that didn't seem to be the answer he was looking for as he licked his bottom lip, eyes trained on your throat.

“I’m afraid isn’t gonna’ feel much like love, doll.” He breathed out, lining himself up with your entrance. Before you could speak, he thrusted into you, knocking the air out of your chest as he bent you uncomfortably in half. You could only scream as he caged you in, forcing you down against the seats as he fucked into you.

It’s not like you forgot how Bucky filled you, but his size was something you would never be able by to fully adjust to. Especially not now, when he was holding you steady, his hips snapping against you giving you no time to ease into the assault. And by the looks of the lopsided smirk plastered on his swollen lips, he knew exactly how shredded you felt.

“Fuck, you take me so good, sweetheart.” The pet name doing nothing to quell the ache he sent ripping through your body as he sank deeper into you. You could only cry out, head smashing into the door as he kept up his brutal pace.

“B-Bucky, please.” You weren't exactly sure what you were asking for, but at this rate you wouldn't last long, the familiar coil building in your abdomen as he nudged up against your cervix.

“Slow down, baby.” You choked on a sob, eyes glassy as his vibranium fingers coiled around you thoat, pining you to the seats.

“Did you miss this part, doll?” He whispered against your ear, a shiver ripping through your body and igniting a flame you had so desperately craved since the moment he vanished from your world. “Miss the way I ruin you, Hm? I can feel you, coming undone. You’re so close, aren’t you?” he teased, pressing his fingers deeper into your throat until you were coughing around the pressure.

“All I need to do is-” His flesh thumb ran circles against your clit, your eyes rolling back into your skull as you croaked out his name, begging him to ease up. “There it is.” He chuckled, quickening his pace until you were a shivering mess beneath him.

“Bucky, I-”

“I’m going to ruin this cunt, sweetheart. Stay still, and let go for me” His voice was like gravel, only letting you breathe once you nodded your head in complicity, pulling your bottom lip into your mouth as the orgasm wrapped itself around your core.

“Fuck.” You managed to scream, your head lulling back as a title-wave of ecstasy crashed over you, pulling you under.

“That’s my girl.” His words tipped you over the edge, his name on your lips like a prayer as you quivered, your body violently shaking. “God you're so tight when you- Shit!”

With a few sloppy thrusts, Bucky came undone. His hot spend coating your pulsing walls as he gasped. Your bodies a tangled mess as he puffed out a breath against your neck.

You both just stayed frozen, too afraid that the moment you pulled away, reality would sink in. And the truth was, you weren't exactly sure what that meant.

Bucky slowly eased himself out of you, gasping a little as you spilled out onto, what you only hoped, would be easy to clean seats.

“Doll, that was-”

“Hey,” Sam knocked hard against the now foggy glass, “You two hungry, or what?”

#bucky x reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #tfatws

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vannybarber · 3 years

Text

The Prenup

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part Two Part Three Part Four Final Chapter

Scrounging through the little desk in the corner of Chris and you's bedroom, you hear him let out a boisterous laugh.

He was watching some movie and there was a certain part that he found so hilarious. After 4 years of watching it with him constantly, you still don't get what's so funny. But it makes him happy so that's what matters.

You were searching for the wine opener so Scott could get his middle-aged-4-kids-divorcee vibe on. You cleaned the other day and stuck it in there after a nightly dose of freakydeaky from Chris, which consisted of wine, whipped cream, and a many different forms of chocolate.

After what seemed like forever, you find the corkscrew and grin at your accomplishment. You take one more look in the drawer out of habit and you spot a big orange envelope with Chris' name on it. Being the nosy curious person you are, you take the envelope out and get a good look at it. You see the words Prenuptial Agreement in bold and your heart drops.

Chris had proposed to you 9 months ago and you were happy beyond words. After being together for 4 years, he finally put away his commitment troubles and made you his fianceé. And now you find out he's going to get you to sign a prenup. A fucking prenup.

You look around the room at loss for words. You were angry, hurt and confused. After 4 years of being together, he doesn't have faith in his own judgment that you guys would be together forever? You both have been through literally everything. There isn't one thing you don't know about each other. Your relationship was rare and it was special.

After moments of contemplation, you decide you would confront him on it. There's no way you could carry on the night and sleep after this. Not until you get your answers. Closing the drawer, you take a sharp breath and exhale before walking out the room. You get back to the dining table where Lisa and his siblings surrounded.

"Here you go Scott" you say slamming the corkscrew on the table in front of him. He looks up at you, puzzled. You glance at him then at Chris and he's looking at you just the same. Evidently your tone matched your movements because everyone went silent. You draw back and put both hands behind your back and huff.

"Babe, are you alright?" It was Christopher talking to you now. Your attention goes to him and your lips are in a thin line. Refraining from blowing up at him, you force smile on your face and change your tone of voice.

"What do you mean, honey? I'm fine." You should leave the acting to Chris honestly. That's definitely not your field of expertise. Shifting on your right foot, you stare at him. He shuffles and tilts his head with a knowing look.

"Spill it Y/N. What's up?"

"The flames when I burn this damn house down." So much for not blowing up. You snatch the envelope in front of you and chuck it on the table. Everyone watches the exchange and the envelope fly to the table. All their faces change from confusion to shock and even more confusion.

Chris didn't even need to look down to know it was the prenup. His eyes went from you to the wall. Guilt written all over it, you almost wish you gave a shit. You wonder how long he was going to keep this hidden from you. No need to wonder now.

"You want to explain to me why you have a prenup?" You place your hand on your hip and roll your neck at him.

"I got that for us."

You swear to everything you wanted to lunge at him right then and there. 'I got that for us'. Why do people always use that excuse for everything? They weren't thinking about you, just themselves and expected you to go along with it.

"You got it for us? I know you didn't do this on your own. Who put you up to it?" You look around the room. Scott has his hands up shaking his head. Carly and Shanna both let out a quiet "not me". You look at Lisa who had this look of hurt.

"Chris, you tell me everything. How did I not know about this? Why didn't you tell me?" Well now you know she didn't suggest it. You feel slightly guilty for letting it cross your mind, but you had your reasons.

"Ma, I had my reasons. I kept it hidden because I didn't know how I felt about it myself" he says rubbing his face and fixing his hair under his cap. Still didn't answer your question.

"Christopher, who put you up to this? Tell me now!" You're getting fired up by the minute. You have an idea who it could be too.

"Megan. She thought that it would be smart to consider. Just to protect me."

"Megan." Your voice is laced with absolute venom. "You know Chris, she does a good job keeping you out of trouble and bullshit so you're not all over the tabloids, but sometimes, her ass is too much!"

Chris is never in the news for anything negative. He's always minding his business and moving quietly. Megan is a great publicist, but she can be pretty overbearing about his personal life. She gave you side eye for like the entire first year of you guys' relationship.

"Baby, she was just looking out for me. You know how it is, women getting with you for your money. Guys loose half of everything they have when getting divorces."

You can't even believe it.

"I am not 'women'. I'm your fianceé. We've been together 4 years, Chris! After all this time your material things come before me?" Tears are puddled at your eyes now and your voice is cracking. This catches his attention.

"I told you from the start Chris, that I never cared about your money! Never have and never will. I am used to not having much. I'm not money hungry or concerned for having top tier everything. I've learned to settle."

"Y/N, I didn't mea-" you slam your hand on the table, making everyone jump. Chris shuts his mouth.

"I'm. Not. Finished. I am not marrying your bank account. I'm not marrying your cars. I'm not marrying your house. I don't give a damn about any of that shit. And you literally are still concerned about all of that?" Your face is wet and your nose is runny. You wipe your nose and cross your arms.

"It's not even like that!" Now he's getting upset. For literally nothing. This is his fault. "It's just in case it doesn't work out, we don't need to deal with all the extra mess."

That completely shattered you. In case it doesn't work out. He actually has thoughts that your marriage couldn't work. What would even cause that? You guys don't even argue. You don't even remember the last time you did. You've learned to understand what each other needs and mastered that. What is he on about?

"You know what the sad part is? Us not working out crossed my mind in, like, the first year of our relationship. And I decided that if we did get married, and God forbid we divorced, I wouldn't take anything from you."

He looked at you like he just found out he wasn't the father of your baby.

"Yeah, Chris. That's your money. You made it, not me, so why would I ask for any of it from you? You gave me an amazing relationship and thats enough for me."

"Oh my goodness." Everyone directs their attention to Scott. "So you wouldn't want anything from the divorce?"

"Of course not! I came in this relationship for him. Plus a make my own money. I don't need anyone else's."

You had your own business. Many employees at different buildings in Boston. You didn't have much growing up and you were proud of yourself for not having to worry about financial issues. Chris liked that you had your own thing going and didn't have to adapt to his life and depend on him financially. And he still got a prenup.

Feeling like you were gonna cry again, you rub your temples and take deep breaths to prevent it. But you failed and started crying more. Chris got up and moved to stand in front of you.

"Baby, I'm sorry I upset you. I thought you would be okay with this. Like you said, you don't care about my money so what's wrong with the prenup?" His hands were on your sides, but not for long as you shook them off of you.

"What's wrong with it? What this is telling me is three things. You have doubt that our marriage won't work out, you think I might change my mind and ask for alimony, and that your money comes before me."

"I..." he struggles to form words. You take this chance to get out of there.

"I really don't want to be here right now." Chris looks up and grabs your arm.

"Babe, you don't need to go. Where the hell are you gonna go?" You turn and grab the envelope from the table. You open it and pull the papers out, shoving it in his face.

"I'll go to a hotel or something, but I'm not staying here if this is the shit you're trying to pull with me." You turn the paper to you and look in disgust. You scan over it and your eyes fall on the dotted line where you need to sign. Beside it is where he needed to sign his.

Well not anymore.

You read over his signature on the line. Chris Evans.

He signed the prenup already. Now he was just waiting for your signature. He really was leaving you zero choice.

"You signed it already??" Everyone at the table head snapped up. Shanna gasped and covered her mouth. Lisa mumbles an "oh no" under her breath.

"So you were just going to bring it to me and expect me to sign it with no fight, huh?"

Chris says nothing, but his face is red. You don't wait for a response and walk to your shoes and your bag. Already having everything in there, you slip your shoes on and walk back to Chris.

"Just a heads up, you brought this on yourself."

You whip around and walk to the fireplace. You chuck the papers and envelope in the blaze and turn back to him.

"You can forget about that damn prenup, cause I'm not signing it. As a matter a fact, you don't even have to worry about that because there won't be a chance of us divorcing." You force a smile and clasp your hands together. Lisa and Scott rise from the table panicking.

"Babe, no-"

"Forget the wedding, this engagement and all of it. You can take this fucking ring too." You pry the ring off your fingers and throw it at him. It hits his chest and falls at his feet.

"I'm not marrying you."

You turn on your heel, grab your purse and jacket, walking out the door, leaving the Evans' speechless.

Was this too dramatic? I have my own opinions on a prenup, but maybe it's not as big as it seems? Idk🥴.

masterlist

#cevans #chris evans #avengers #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #andy barber smut #steve rogers smut #captain america #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

"Victory" (Spencer Reid/ Reader)

Requested: Yes

Summary: Spencer's daughter hates her father's girlfriend. But when he is in prison, life pushes them to finally get along.

Warning: Cursing, a little angst, a mean teenager, and fluff.

Word count: 5,4K

A/N: Hello, pretty people! How are you? I've missed you! Life has been a little messy and filled with angst, so writing hasn't come easy in the lastest weeks. Hope you like this story, and I hope I can bring you a new one soon 😉

Masterlist

»»————-　　————-««

Spencer's daughter hated her dad's new girlfriend. And she wasn't subtle about it. She hated that her father was now dating, 'cos she didn't want to share his love. So now she didn't even want to be around him anymore 'cos he was so happy, it was annoying.

It wasn't that she hated her father, 'cos she loved him. But she was never going to face the fact she was jealous. She didn't want to share Spencer with anyone because he was all the family she knew, and they were a team.

Victoria Reid was twelve years old. She had grown up alone with her dad 'cos her mother had ditched the two of them soon after she was born. Spencer had tried to explain to his daughter her mom had left 'cos she wasn't ready to deal with the responsibility of being a mother, which was true. He, on the other hand, was happy to know he was going to be a father, and he repeated over and over again she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

That was true.

When Spencer and his ex found out they were going to be parents, he was ecstatic. He couldn't wait to hold his baby in his arms and watch them grow. He didn't know his girlfriend had other plans, though, and soon after Victoria was born, she had left the two of them and never looked back.

Spencer wasn't going to lose the chance of being a dad. Even when he knew he was too young, Reid was ready to raise that baby on his own and give her all the love he had.

That's why he and Victoria were so close. Spencer was the only parent she had ever had. He was her world. And though Spencer was only 24 when Tori was born, he had given her his best.

Tori was the BAU's baby girl. Everybody in the team was a part of her life because she had grown up with them. Penelope was her best friend and godmother. Victoria would spend a lot of time with her while her dad was away on a case. Derek was her cool uncle. He helped her train to get into the basketball team and taught her how to dance. JJ was the closest to a mother figure in her life. Tori would spend time with her after school, playing with Henry. Spencer always said JJ was like a sister for him, and that's why they were all like family. Tori actually called Henry and Michel her cousins.

Emily was like her best friend. They could talk about anything, and at least twice a month, they would go out together shopping, just the two of them. Spencer always respected his daughter's relationship with his friend 'cos they were their little extended family. Tori called Rossi "Nono." He had taught her himself, and she loved going to his mansion, 'cos he always had new video games to play with her.

But then came (Y/N). She had joined the team when Victoria was only six years old, and for the first five years, they got along just fine. (Y/N) would come along shopping with her and Emily, sometimes she took Tori out for some pastries, and talked about bands, boys. Victoria loved her.

That until the incident.

She hated (Y/N) after the incident.

Victoria refused to talk to her after THE INCIDENT.

It was a warm spring afternoon, Spencer and (Y/N) had the afternoon off, and they were at his apartment... heavily making out on the couch. That's why they lost track of time.

(Y/N) and Spencer had started dating a few months before. They had been in love with each other for years. Still, neither of them had acted on it until Rossi's birthday party, when they had a little too many drinks and finally confessed their feelings. They wanted to take things slow, but when you make out in front of the whole team, it might be a little harder imagined.

But they had decided to wait for the right time to tell Victoria. But, unfortunately, the right time didn't come soon enough.

- "Dad!! I'm home!!"- Victoria opened the front door and froze in shock at the scene going on in front of her. The twelve-year-old had asked her best friend's mother to drop her home earlier when Penelope told her Spencer had already gone home. In Garcia's defense, she had no idea what was going on in Reid's residence, and if she had known, she would have never let Victoria know her dad was home.

(Y/N) widened her eyes and quickly grabbed a pillow to cover herself. She was shirtless, sitting on Spencer's lap. She still had her bra on (thank god), but anyone could tell that scene was leading to the bedroom in a few seconds.

- "Shit!"- Spencer whispered and closed his eyes as he realized what was going on. (Y/N) held her breath as she stared into the young teen's eyes. Victoria didn't know what to do or what to say, so she simply ran to her room and slammed the door.

- "Ok... so I think Tori knows about us"- (Y/N) tried to ease the mood and smiled at her boyfriend as she put on her shirt. But Spencer sighed and covered his face with both hands- "Oh, come on. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Let me talk to her."

- "No, (Y/N), let me talk to her first."- Spencer stood up and kissed (Y/N) 's nose- "I know she is mad, and I should be the one dealing with her anger."

Reid knew his daughter well enough to anticipate her behavior. People had often told him he could be a little passive-aggressive when he was upset. And his daughter was just like him.

- "Victoria, open the door!"- he said and waited a few seconds after knocking.

- "Go away!"- the teenager yelled, laying on her bed. She felt betrayed and confused. But most of all, she felt angry that her father had decided to have a girlfriend. He had no right to do such a thing. He had to take care of her and her grandma. No one else.

- "Victoria, we need to talk about this!"

- "You seemed too busy with your girlfriend to talk to me, dad. So go away!"

- "Victoria Marie!"- Spencer knocked on the door but got no answer from his daughter. (Y/N) heard it all from the couch and tried to think of a way to fix things with the young girl.

Sadly, it wasn't going to be easy, and in the months that followed, everything was far from being normal again.

- "I hate her!"- Victoria huffed and left her book aside. Spencer was trying to explain to her why (Y/N) would stay with her and Diana while he took a short work trip for the weekend. But the girl didn't want to hear a word about it.

- "You used to get along with her just fine until we started dating."- Spencer tried to dialogue with his daughter. Still, it was honestly getting harder and harder each time they touched the subject.

- "Used to. You just said it. I have the right to change my mind about people. Why can't I stay with auntie Penelope for the weekend?"

- "Because I want you to make an effort and try to get along with (Y/N) again. Victoria, we've been through this before. I love you, and that's not going to change just because I am dating (Y/N)."

- "This is so unfair! I hate you!!"

Spence tried to stay calm, but after over four-month having the same argument almost every day, he was losing it. Victoria stormed out and slammed her bedroom door behind her back. Maybe it was better not to push it, Spencer thought, defeated, and called Penelope to ask her if his daughter could spend the weekend with her, 'cos he had to travel. Maybe Victoria and (Y/N) weren't going to get along if he forced them to spend time together.

Everyone had already tried to talk to her about what was going on: JJ, Emily, Penelope. But Victoria wasn't ready to give in. She wanted to hate (Y/N), and nothing was going to change that. Or so she thought.

The day Penelope showed up in Victoria's school and announced her something had happened to her dad was engraved in the girl's memory forever as the worst day of her life. Her father had been arrested in Mexico, but Garcia had assured her, the whole team was working to bring him home safe. Meanwhile, she would stay with her in her apartment (she was already there anyway), and Diana would stay home with her nurse.

Victoria's heart was broken. She was basically alone in the whole world. Her father was her anchor. Her protector. Her superhero. Her best friend. And now, all of a sudden, he was gone, and though everybody told her it was going to be ok, she knew it wasn't.

- "Hey,"- (Y/N) walked into Penelope's office and found Victoria doing her homework- "Pen told me you were here, and I thought maybe you'd like one of these."

The young SSA said and handed the girl a box of fresh chocolate frosted with sprinkled donuts and a strawberry milkshake. Her favorites.

But Victoria didn't reply. Instead, she looked at (Y/N) right in the eyes, not moving a muscle, and then returned to her homework.

It had been two weeks since Spencer had been accused of murder, and he had been transferred to Virginia. But the team was far from solving the case.

- "Ok, Tori, please stop this. I know you don't like me dating your dad, but this is not the right time to fight. I know..."- (Y/N) made a short pause and took a deep breath before resuming her idea- "I know how you feel."

- "No. You don't."- Victoria Reid's voice was loud and clear, like thunder, hitting earth with anger. So clear, in fact, (Y/N) widened her eyes when she heard her.

- "You have no idea how I feel. Your dad ain't in jail accused of killing some woman in Mexico. You have no right to tell me that!"

- "My boyfriend and best friend in the whole world is in jail right now, and it doesn't matter if I work myself to death 18 hours every single fucking day; I still can't find the way to help him. I feel lost and alone, and most of all, scared, 'cos I've come to realize I have no idea how to live without him anymore. I'm guessing that's very close to what you feel."

(Y/N) poured her heart with complete honesty to her boyfriend's daughter, fighting the tears back, though you could feel the desperation in her voice. She didn't know if it would be of any use, but she had to take that from her chest. She missed Spencer so much she felt she was going insane. She had no idea what to do.

Victoria stared at her, furrowing her eyes and pouting. She didn't want to cry in front of (Y/N) 'cos she didn't want her trying to console her.

- "Just because you are dating him doesn't mean you have to take care of me. I can take care of myself."- Tori said and looked at the donut. She was hungry, they looked delicious, but the teenager didn't want to accept any gift coming from (Y/N).

- "I am not here because you are my boyfriend's daughter. I thought you were a cool kid way before I fell in love with him."- (Y/N) tried to calm herself down and sat across the table from Victoria- "And I am not trying to steal him from you. I just wanna... make him happy."

- "We were happy,"- the teenager's comeback was like a slap on (Y/N) 's face, but she did her best not to take it personally. She knew it was useless fighting with a teenager.

- "I have a visit scheduled for tomorrow. If you'd like, we could go together."

Tori held her breath. She hadn't seen her father since he left for Mexico. Of course, Victoria wanted to see him and hug him. It was all she wanted in the whole world. But... she didn't want to be friendly with (Y/N).

- "If I go... it doesn't mean I like you."- the young girl whispered.

- "I know"- (Y/N) nodded, feeling already triumphant.

- "And it doesn't mean I'm ok with you dating him."

- "I understand. I just know you miss him, Tori. I really know how you feel, and I'm gonna help you whenever I get a chance."- Victoria didn't answer; she just sighed and grabbed a donut. (Y/N) tried not to smile, feeling she had a small victory.

Spencer couldn't believe it when he saw his little girl waiting for him sitting next to (Y/N) instead of his lawyer in the small grey room. Victoria stood up and ran to him the second the door opened and wrapped her arms around her father as tight as possible.

(Y/N) looked at the guards, thankful neither of them had tried to stop the teenager.

Spencer kissed his daughter's cheek a few times and whispered how sorry he was to put her under those circumstances. He didn't know what to do or what to say. He was speechless. A part of him hated the idea of his daughter visiting him in jail, but he also missed her too much to argue with (Y/N) for bringing her over.

- "I'll go fill a few forms. Be right back"- (Y/N) whispered and saw Spencer's warm smile as he mouthed "Thank you," still hugging his daughter. She whispered, "I love you," and walked outside the room. She knew Victoria would appreciate a few minutes alone with her father, and she didn't want to take that away from them. She really wanted to make Spencer and Tori happy, and spending time together was what they needed.

- "I know this is hard, peanut, but we'll get through it. I'll be out in a few weeks. I promise"- Spencer held his daughter's hands as they sat across the table.

- "I miss you"- her voice was a soft whisper, as she kept trying not to cry anymore. She didn't want to make him feel guilty, sad, or anxious.

- "Me too. How are you? How is living with aunt Penelope going?"

- "Ok... we watch a lot of movies."

- "And school?"- Tori shrugged.

- "Ok, I guess."

- "Victoria..."

- "I got a C on my history paper."

- "Baby..."

- "I know, I know, I should have tried harder, but I really didn't want to do it."

Spencer was torn between lecturing his daughter for getting a bad grade and actually telling her it was ok, 'cos they were going through a rough patch. It was obvious she might get bad grades, all things considered.

- "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you"- it was all Spencer managed to whisper.

- "Don't say that, dad. I'm sorry I slacked off."

- "You know, you could ask (Y/N) for help,"- Spencer suggested, but Tori just rolled her eyes, annoyed- "She has a master in the subject..."

- "Dad, please don't force me to talk to her."

- "I'm just saying... you don't have to be her best friend, just ask for help when needed, especially when it comes to school. Besides, it's clear she isn't a bad person if she brought you here today."

- "She just wants to win me over."- Tori mumbled and crossed her arms on her chest. But she knew her dad was right in one thing: (Y/N) had done a pretty good thing taking her to see her dad and letting them spend time together on their own.

Victoria thought she was losing her mind after three months had passed and her father was still in jail. It didn't matter that (Y/N) took her every Saturday morning to visit, played her favorite music, and bought her all the pastries she loved. She needed to live with her father again and do all the small things they loved: making breakfast together, playing scrabble, taking long walks in the park, eating ice cream. Tori even missed her father's annoying habits. She missed his rambling and how he always had an answer for everything, even for the things she didn't want to talk about with him.

Spencer was an amazing father, no questions asked, and Victoria Reid knew she couldn't ask for a better dad than him. She just wanted him back.

But things weren't going to improve soon.

When the team found out Diana Reid had been kidnapped, (Y/N) had to take a minute and lock herself in the bathroom to cry her heart out. She felt bad things were never going to cease, and she didn't want to tell Victoria. The girl had already been through so much, adding the abduction of her grandmother wasn't fair. Tori was just twelve. She shouldn't be going through all that.

- "Victoria?"

Prentiss decided she was going to be the one to tell the girl what was going on, and (Y/N) offered herself to look for her. She was in Rossi's office, reading a book curled on his comfy couch. That poor kid almost lived at the BAU by then.

- "My homework is done."- she replied, not taking her eyes from the page she was reading.

- "That's good. And what are you reading?"- Tori sighed and showed her the cover- "Something Wicked this way comes," I love that book"- (Y/N) smiled and took a look around.

- "Figured my father forced you to read it."

- "Actually, I read it when I was ten, and it's one of my favorite books."- (Y/N) looked at Victoria, but the teenager kept pretending to read, ignoring her- "Emily needs to talk to you."

- "And why are you here? Why didn't aunt Emily come? Are you her secretary?"- there was something about Victoria's attitude that reminded (Y/N) of Reid.

- "I wanted to see you, see how you were doing, and take you to the conference room"- Tori sighed and stood up. She hoped Emily had good news about her father, 'cos she was honestly going insane.

But of course, Prentiss didn't have any good news.

- "I'm sorry, Tori, but... you are going to have to stay here tonight"- the girl frowned, confused, and looked at the whole team around her. Everybody looked like they hadn't slept in days. Which, by the way, was very accurate.

- "Why?"

- "'Cos we are going to have to..."- Emily paused and held her breath, staring at her niece's eyes.- "I'm sorry, Tori, but this is the truth: the woman who framed your father has kidnapped Diana, and I'm scared she might try to get you too. So until we catch her, the safest place to be is here, at the BAU. With us."

Tori gasped and covered her mouth with both hands as tears filled her eyes in a second.

- "Nana? Is she ok?"

- "We don't know yet, but we are working to bring her home safe as soon as possible"- JJ caressed Tori's arm and tried to hold her, but she pushed her away mad frowned.

- "You keep saying that, you keep telling me you are working to bring my family home safe, but so far, you haven't done anything!! I am still alone! Dad is in jail, and everybody knows he is innocent! And now nana is gone too!!"

- "Baby, we know it is hard, but..."- Emily wanted to explain to Victoria everything was more complex than they had expected, but the girl covered her ears and shook her head, yelling as she stormed out of the room

- "I don't wanna hear you!! I want my dad!!"

It was painful to hear those things, 'cos the team was doing the best they could for Reid and his family, but they could understand the frustration and, most of all, the fear that little girl felt.

- "I'll talk to her,"- (Y/N) said and turned to Emily- "You guys continue what you were doing. I'll try to calm her down."

- "Are you sure you wanna go?"- Emily asked and cut (Y/N) a short smile.

- "Yeah, for once, she is mad at all of us, not just me."

The young SSA walked to Garcias's office, where Tori was hidden underneath a desk, crying.

- "Hey."

- "Leave me alone."

- "I know I'm the last person you wanna be with right now, and I am sorry I can't do anything to make you feel better. I can only promise you this: we are doing all we can to bring your dad and your grandmother back home safe." - (Y/N) whispered as she walked slowly towards the girl, who sobbed, whipping off the tears from her eyes.

- "Just leave me alone. I want to be alone,"- Tori mumbled and wrapped her arms around herself, sobbing.

- "I'm not gonna leave you alone, Tori. You are not alone here with us."

- "I am alone!! I want my daddy!! I need my daddy!!"- the girl continued crying her eyes out, hidden underneath the desk. (Y/N) kneeled next to her and sat on the floor.

- "Come here"- it was a bold move, 'cos (Y/N) knew the girl was going to reject her, but she didn't care. She couldn't deal with her sadness, and it scared her to think how bad the child was feeling. So, (Y/N) opened her arms and moved the teen closer to her.

Surprisingly, the girl didn't reject her. Instead, she cried against the fabric of (Y/N) 's sweater and sobbed, shaking, as (Y/N) caressed her hair carefully.

- "I swear, we are not gonna rest until he is free and until Diana is home."

- "I want my family back,"- Victoria mumbled and sighed.

- "You'll get it. I swear, I'll do everything I can to bring them back to you."

That was the first time since (Y/N) started dating Spencer that Victoria let her close. In the middle of the mess they were all lost into, it felt like a little break of peace. Another small victory for the young woman.

(Y/N) didn't mind spending the whole night awake going through an endless pile of files if it meant there was a chance to bring Spencer back home. Tori stayed in Rossi's office, where she made something that looked pretty much like a fort on the couch, with blankets and pillows, to hide from the rest of the world.

It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, looking at the girl hidden there, trying to read, trying to draw, trying to do anything to take her mind from reality. Penelope brought her something to eat, but she rejected it, saying she wasn't hungry. Emily and JJ had tried to talk to her, but Tori kindly said she wanted to be alone. Even Morgan had called her and announced to her he was taking a plane from Chicago to help the team looking for Diana.

None of that cheered Victoria up.

- "I bought you this,"

Around ten, (Y/N) opened Rossi's door and walked in, holding a box of frosted chocolate donuts with sprinkles.

- "They always cheer your dad up, so I'm counting they will do the trick with you too"- the young woman tried to joke but found Victoria crying quietly insider her fort.

- "Please, just leave me alone,"- she whispered and hid her face with both her hands. (Y/N) didn't pay attention and sat with her inside the fort.

- "Not a chance."

- "I really don't wanna do this now, just leave me alone,"- the girl sighed, defeated, and continued crying.

- "Come here, I told you, you are not alone."

- "I am alone, (Y/N)! My dad is in jail, my grandma is kidnapped, and my mother left me 'cos she didn't love me!"

- "No, baby, don't say that"- (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Tori and kissed the top of her head.

- "I know my mom didn't want to have me, and maybe she was right... maybe I am cursed, and all this is my fault."

- "Victoria Marie Reid, you are talking senseless" (Y/N) held the girl's shoulder and looked into her eyes.

- "You are an adorable young girl who deserves the best in the world. Why did this happen? I don't know, bad shit happens in life, and we must try to learn something from it. That's it. There's no reason or cause. Shit happens, baby, but we must raise stronger than before. You are an incredible young girl, and I know your dad is proud of you. I am proud of you, 'cos you've been so courageous and brave."

- "You are just saying that 'cos you are with my dad."

- "No. I would say that even if I hated your dad. You know why? 'Cos I am not lying, you are awesome, and I love you, get that into your head. And you are not alone, 'cos I am here, see?"- (Y/N) ran her thumb on Tori's cheek, whipping off a few of her tears- "I'm here even when you don't want me to be, so I don't know if you can tell, but you are doomed, you can't get rid of me now. I'm like a disease, but a good one... I don' know if there's a good disease. I'm sure your dad would have the answer for my random comment right now."

Both Victoria and (Y/N) chuckled at the same time, and the girl nodded.

- "He definitely would..."

- "He would also lecture me why I shouldn't give you sugar after dinner, but he is not here, and I am not telling him, so please don't tell him 'cos he is going to be mad at me... and at you."- (Y/N) handed Tori the box of donuts, and the girl smiled.

- "I won't tell him."

- "Great, we have our own little sugary secret. Eat all the donuts you want; I'm going to be with the team in the conference room. Emily has a meeting early morning with the judge."- (Y/N) kissed the top of Vitoria's head and stood up.

- "If you need anything, I'm across the hall."- the SSA said, and the girl nodded, chewing a donut.

- "Thank you, (Y/N)"

By the next day, the miracle had happened. Victoria couldn't stop crying when (Y/N) announced she was taking Spencer back home. Tori stood in front of his father's girlfriend and felt how the tears filled her eyes in less than a minute. Happy tears, for once.

(Y/N) smiled at her, glad to know the young girl was going to have her life back. It surprised her when Tori hugged her, wrapping her arms around her tight. (Y/N) stayed still for an instant, trying to understand what was happening. She hugged Victoria and kissed the top of her head. The child was crying, and suddenly, so was she. The nightmare was over. At least a part of it. They still needed to find Diana. But the fact they were going to have Reid back was already giving everybody the peace of mind they needed to finish the task.

(Y/N) held Spencer's hand tight all the way from the prison to the BAU. He kept his eyes locked on their hands, fingers tangled together. He couldn't believe it was actually happening. He couldn't believe he was a free man.

- "How's Tori?"- he whispered and turned to his girlfriend. Penelope and Luke were in the car with them, but somehow, Spencer could only register the presence of his girlfriend. Not because he didn't care about his friends, but because he could only take just a small amount of information at the time. It was all too much for him at that moment.

- "Good. She has been incredibly strong."

- "Did you tell her about mom?"- Spencer was afraid to ask but needed to know what was going on with his daughter. (Y/N) nodded and sighed.

- "We decided it was better if she knew what was happening, we had to keep her at the BAU, and she was going to get suspicious she couldn't go to Penelope's... sorry."

- "Don't be. You did what was best for her."- Spencer turned to his girlfriend and smiled at her for a second. It was a short, sweet smile. Almost shy. But it was enough to warm her heart and wake the butterflies in her stomach. She was so in love with Spencer Reid, everything he did fluster her.

Victoria thought her heart was about to burst as he waited for her father to arrive. Spencer looked at (Y/N) one last time, and she squeezed his hand kindly, smiling when the elevator door opened, and all he heard was:

- "Daddy!!"- Tori yelled and ran to hug Spencer as soon as she saw him. He couldn't even step out of the elevator when his daughter nearly tackled him, wrapping her arms around him tight.

- "My baby!"- he whispered and spun her in the air a few times- "Are you ok?"- he held her face with both hands and took a good look at her. She was crying but smiling as she nodded.

- "I'm so happy to see you, dad."

- "I missed you so, so much"- Spencer kissed the top of her head and sighed. (Y/N) smiled, and whipped off the tears from her eyes as she stared at the scene. Garcia and Luke stood next to her, enjoying a brief moment of happiness and peace.

- "Me more,"- Victoria whispered and hugged Spencer again- "I swear I'm never going to fight with you again."

- "I'm taking a mental note of that,"- he answered and felt her body shaking as she giggled. Spencer hadn't heard his daughter laugh, giggle, or even watched her smile in the three months he had spent away from her. And that sound was sweet and warm, like a balm to his soul.

- "I'm sorry, Spencer... but, we have to..."- Emily interrupted the moment and smiled at her friend. They all knew they still had to do one more thing before celebrating. They had to take Diana Reid back home safe and sound. Victoria let her father go and smiled at him.

- "I love you, dad."

- "I love you too, princess."

And as the team walked to the conference room to brief Spencer about the case and update him with the latest information, (Y/N) felt someone hold her hand.

- "Thank you,"- Victoria whispered and cut her a smile that warmed her heart.

- "Come here,"- she answered and turned around to wrap her arms around her for a second. Spencer looked at them, and for once, he didn't know what to say. Victoria and (Y/N) just stood in the middle of the hall, hugged for a few minutes, and Reid couldn't believe it. It was so heartwarming and emotional; he really didn't know how to react.

- "Come on, dad!! You are going to miss the movie!"- Victoria yelled and set the popcorn on the coffee table.

- "You can pause it!"- Spencer yelled from his desk, where he was finishing writing a letter for his mother.

- "Or you can hurry!"- Tori answered and sat on the couch.

- "Here's your tea, your highness"- (Y/N) walked to the girl holding a tray filled with cups and more snacks- "Come on, honey! We are not waiting for you!"

Three months after prison and life had never been so good for Spencer, Victoria, and (Y/N).

- "I had never seen you so eager to watch a Marvel movie, since when are you two fans of Thor?"- Spencer walked to the living room, hearing his girlfriend and daughter laugh.

- "Always, huge fan."- (Y/N) smiled and tapped on the couch. Reid sat between his two women and sighed.

- "I can smell the sarcasm in the air."

- "No, honey. We love Thor, right Tori?"

- "Yes! Big fans, huge, the biggest fans"- Spencer looked at his daughter and raised an eyebrow.

- "Ok, I'll buy it. Let's watch the movie."

(Y/N) and Tori giggled at the very same moments like they were sharing a secret joke Spencer couldn't understand, but he didn't really matter. He was happy, his heart was content, and there was nothing more perfect that minute, 'cos his family was all on the same couch, watching a movie, enjoying an afternoon together. Like he had always dreamt of.

----

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

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@all-tings-diego @spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy

#Spencer Reid #Criminal Minds #Matthew gray Gubler #Spencer reid x reader #babymetaldoll writes #criminal minds rewrite #fluff #angst #spencer reid x you #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst

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the-marvelclub · 3 years

Text

Don’t forget me

steve rogers x reader

Summary: Steve and reader are happily married, so what happens when a mission goes wrong and Steve is pronounced dead? And what if he comes back but she’s already in a relationship?

Warnings: Fluff, a lot of angst, main character death (?) but with a happy ending.

masterlist

Author’s note: Happy because i finished this in just a few hours, hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always appreciated.

Little caresses of soft fingers running up and down your bare back made you shiver, waking you up, your eyes flutter open.

You groaned and buried your face in the pillow. Steve's chuckle echoed throughout the room before you felt wet kisses being spread all over your lower back, slowly making their way up to your shoulders. Fingers moving your hair to one side exposing your right ear.

"Good morning, Dollface" he whispered in your ear in his husky voice, which honestly always sounds like that when he just woke up, and he bit your ear lobe making butterflies erupt in your stomach and making you a little giddy.

You had spent the night in Steve's room, the light soft reddish color coming through the windows and painting the white walls of Steve's room making you aware that it was probably just dawn, the atmosphere was calm and familiar and his bed was certainly a thousand times more comfortable than yours could ever be.

"Good god, Steve. I bet you it's not even 6:00am" you mumbled sleepily, he might be a super soldier but you needed your 9 hours of sleep. Steve let out a chuckle in your ear again, bringing shivers all over your body.

"You really look cute when you're half asleep like that" he replied still talking into your ear, running his soft hand all over your back only to then grab your waist, letting his arm rest there. "I want to marry you."

You smiled before turning your body to be face to face with Steve knowing he wouldn't let you sleep anymore, you pulled the white silk sheet in your best effort to cover your body looking up at him. He was leaning on his left elbow, his right arm still wrapped around your waist, his torso was naked, the sheets on his hips.

"But I already said ‘I do’, baby" you smiled showing him the ring on your left hand and remembering your wedding day. You had been best friends for what seemed like forever before a mission which required you to pretend to be married led to you both confessing your feelings, then you had realized it had all been a plan by the others to finally get you to admit what they had already known for quite some time, that the mission never really required you to go as a couple, but you couldn't be mad at them, quite the opposite, you felt a deep gratitude towards them, because you would never have been able to do it on your own. A year later, Steve had taken you to the roof of the Compound where you could see the distant lights of the skyscrapers of New York, where he had prepared you a dinner with your favorite meals and a bottle of wine and had gotten down on one knee, opening the little red velvet box with the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, he really was a 40s man, full of romance and chivalry. Six months later you were married.

"Right, but I'm talking about a vow renewal, I just can't believe you're mine, you're like a dream" he let out, the pink painting his cheeks matching yours. His dirty blonde hair was a mess and his eyes sparkled with pure adoration.

"You really are full of compliments today, huh?" you smiled bringing your hand to his hair and giving it a little squeeze. You loved this Steve, he had always been romantic and protective of you, but this Steve, the one you only knew in the early morning hours was driving you crazy, the sentimental Steve, full of compliments and caresses and without shirt on. The Steve who could look into your soul with just one look and that lazy smile. The one only you knew.

"Stop complaining, you know you love it" he said smiling mischievously, like a little boy.

"I can't complain" you shrugged, sliding your fingers down his hard chest, imagining how good it would look with a couple of tattoos on it. You bit your lip thinking about it before returning your gaze to him, who already had his eyes on you, his eyes glowing, fingers at your waist squeezing. Before you could register what was happening, he had lunged towards you pressing his lips hard against yours, you sighed as you felt his lips sucking on yours and grabbed his cheeks pulling him closer to you, his hands taking your waist and lifting you up to get you on top of him, he bit your bottom lip asking for entrance but you put both hands on his chest putting distance between the two of you, ending the kiss and shaking your head. You still hadn't brushed your teeth.

He grunted with discontent and pouted, completely adorable, but kept his arms around your waist. You stroked his hair and he closed his eyes, sighing.

"I really love you" he let out, looking into your eyes, with an expression you couldn't read, he suddenly looked worried and even a little scared. "I would do anything to protect you, you know that right?".

You frowned.

"What is this all about?" you asked leaning your face on his chest looking into his eyes. “What’s on your mind?”

He shook his head before giving you a small smile, wanting you to forget the subject.

"It's the mission, isn't it?" you sighed.

He looked at you for a long moment and you knew the answer.

Steve along with Fury had been tracking a dangerous organization for months that for some reason were targeting Steve. They both believed it wasn't that big of a threat. They had only sent Steve a couple of death threats, but being Captain America and part of the Avengers, there were always enemies. But when one afternoon, a threat had come to you, Steve got to work and he and Fury had been tracking the origin of these for months and now they finally had a lead.

"It's probably nothing," he said, "don't worry about it, Fury will go with me on this one. Maybe the lead will be useless." You knew he didn't want to worry you but you couldn't help it, you wanted to go with him this afternoon but you as well as everyone else had other missions to attend to.

You nodded and kissed his chin reassuringly.

He placed a kiss on your forehead and released you by turning you to your side of the bed, before getting out of bed, putting on his sweatpants and putting on his white shirt.

It was your turn to pout, missing his warm body.

"Come on, Dollface." He said placing his palms on the mattress and leaning over to you "I'll make you those chocolate chip pancakes and when I get back from the mission we're going to watch that Jason Bourne movie you love so much."

You let out an excited squeal and hugged him by the neck pulling him back into bed.

"You sure know how to spoil a girl."

Steve never returned from that mission.

That afternoon you were in the kitchen preparing popcorn for movie night with Steve and the next minute, Fury had come out of the elevator doors, concern filling his face and honestly it was the most you had ever seen him show any emotion, he had quietly approached Tony, ignoring the greetings of the team that was hanging out in the living room, he had taken him to the briefing room and they had been inside for quite a while. You had been watching the elevator doors waiting for Steve to come out of them before deciding to ask Fury, but before you could even take a step, Tony had left the room and the moment you looked at his face, your stomach sank, a horrible feeling surrounding you. You had never seen Tony like that before, the look in his eyes was something you would never be able to describe, he was pale, his eyes seemed sunken and he kept looking nowhere in particular. A few moments later that seemed like hours, he had uttered the words that broke you inside.

Steve hadn't made it.

You don't remember much after that, all you remember is popcorn strewn all over the kitchen floor, a deafening scream that you never realized you had let out, and the pain in your knees as you fell to the floor. You remember screams coming from the others, asking Tony and Fury for explanations and a lot of commotion. But what you could never forget even if you wanted to was the pain of your heart being squeezed inside you and the horrible feeling that now everything would be different.

That had been 1 year and 6 months ago. Since the news everything had been a blur. It was as if you were seeing everything from outside your body. The first few days, you didn't leave the living room couch, your gaze focused on the metal doors of that gray elevator, you didn't eat, you didn't sleep, waiting for Steve to show up with his suit dirty from the mission and the shield in his hand, telling you that it had taken a little longer than usual but that everything had gone well, that he had nothing but a few scratches on his body and that he would take a shower before cuddling up with you in bed.

The day you understood that Steve would never walk out those doors, you couldn't help but be angry at him for leaving you alone that morning after breakfast and not asking for help from the team, but more than anything you were angry at yourself for not doing anything about it. You thought it was a routine mission, just to confirm that the clue was legit. You never gave the subject much thought. You couldn't believe you had been so naive and you knew it was your fault.

The next few months after that you and the team as well as Fury had been immersed in the case, trying to track down the organization and the man responsible for Steve's death. Thousands of leads were emerging every day but they all led to a dead end. The team wasn't much better, everyone blamed each other for Steve's death but you knew it all affected Tony the most. Natasha and Wanda were there for you but Bucky was the one who were constantly with you during the first few months, supporting you and looking out for you. But you could see he was hurting too, Bucky had gone back to his old self, he was withdrawing from everyone, except you. Barely making conversation with the others and most of the time going out without telling you where he was going. You wanted to ask him about it but you knew he needed time. Hell, you needed it too. A year and a half later it seemed like everything was back to normal, even though you knew that inside you were all different people. Losing family wasn’t easy.

Thank God you had Matthew, an agent who worked at the coumpound, he had been in charge of the funeral and since then, he always made sure you were okay, at first it was small talk in the hallways, telling you how sorry he was and asking you how you were feeling, then it was little gifts, he always brought you coffee and gave you a smile when he saw you filling out reports in the briefing room, before you knew it he had become a great friend. His blue eyes and the way he treated you reminded you of Steve, and you knew you were drawn to that sense of familiarity and comfort. Then at that party, he had kissed you and although his kisses were nothing compared to Steve's, you accepted a date with him when he asked you the next day.

"Are you okay? You look distracted" Wanda's thick accent brought you out of your thoughts, you turned to look at her and her eyes were looking at you with concern.

You cleared your throat. "Yeah, I'm fine." You replied avoiding her questioning eyes, taking your necklace between your hand squeezing it. The wedding ring now taking its place on this one and not on your finger. Everyone was in the kitchen; you were sitting at the table peeling an orange and Wanda was next to you. Natasha was next to Bruce making himself a sandwich while Tony was complaining about the coffee grounds they had toss out in the sink, you let out a small chuckle, you knew it had been Sam who was sitting there reading a magazine completely ignoring Tony. Clint was spending the weekend with his family and Bucky was nowhere to be seen.

"I know this may be a difficult day for you" Wanda murmured moving closer to you, making sure no one else could hear. "We completed the mission. We arrested the bastard who..." she sighed "I know that maybe you thought this would bring you relief. But everything gets better with time, believe me I know." She had promised never to read your mind and you knew she had not. You smiled at her, you loved the fact that she knew you so well that she didn't have to use her powers to know what you were thinking.

2 days ago, the mission had been completed, they had found the person responsible for Steve's death and had dismantled the organization, surprised to find that they had some infiltrators right there working in the Compound, people you looked at every day, people who had seen you suffer and they were responsible all this time. You pushed those thoughts out of your mind quickly as you felt rage growing inside you again. You sighed deeply and remembered that Fury was taking care of it. Everything would be okay now.

"So how are things going with Matt?" Natasha asked approaching the table as she munched on her sandwich. Before you could answer, Fury appeared through the kitchen door. You frowned. It was unusual to have a visit from him at this hours of the night.

"Briefing room. Now," was all he said before turning and walking out of the kitchen. The whole team was surprised but followed him without a word. Entering the briefing room, you leaned against the wall in one of the corners waiting for Fury to speak.

"Two years ago we became aware of an existing threat that was harming one of our team. We mistakenly thought it was something minor, it wasn't until a year and a half ago that we discovered it was all part of something bigger and more dangerous. Something highly sensitive that if not handled correctly could harm us and the nation by exposing secrets of our operations."

"We already know that..." Tony began speaking, with one hand on his head, looking exhausted.

"Maria and I came up with a plan that we would put into action once we got the first lead" he interrupted, ignoring Tony's comment. "If we made them believe that they had achieved their goal, we would have an ace up our sleeve when it came to dismantling their organization, which we have done successfully, thanks to the help of this person..." he sighed and looked at the floor "I ask you to please try to understand."

I frowned, just as confused as the whole team.

"What are you talking about, sir?" You let out and he turned to look at you, sighing once more before shaking his head pointing towards the door.

"Hello, Dollface."

Everything happened in slow motion, the room filled with a deafening silence, you turned towards the door directing your gaze to the source of the voice. And if it wasn't for those blue eyes that wouldn't take their eyes off you, You knew you'd pass out right there.

Steve.

He was standing in the doorframe. And he looked different; his hair was longer, his beard covered half of his face and he looked 10 years older, he had dark circles around his eyes as if he hadn't slept since that morning when he had woken up next to you kissing your body. He was wearing a dark blue suit, and Bucky was standing next to him.

Realization fell over you and you felt your stomach sunk. Tears stung your eyes and you couldn't breathe. You walked slowly towards him, not trusting your own legs and planted yourself in front of him, he was like the ghost of the old Steve, only this one was rough around the edges, his eyes looked at you with adoration but also regret. Before he could say a word, you slapped him.

The sound of hand against cheek echoed across the room. Steve didn't seem surprised. Suddenly the whole room was filled with commotion, everyone started talking at the same time, but you couldn't take it anymore, you felt that at any moment you would fall to the floor. So you just walked out of there, but not without giving Bucky a death glare. The bastard knew it all along.

You ran to your room, ignoring the calls of Steve running after you and the commotion of the place. You locked the door to your room and locked yourself in the bathroom, where you couldn't hear Steve knocking on your door over and over again. You looked at yourself in the mirror, you were a mess, the tears wouldn't stop falling even though you didn't feel them and your face was pale, with trembling hands you ripped off the necklace with the ring and threw it on the floor before sitting down on the floor and started crying.

It had been a week since Steve had returned, a week that you had been avoiding him, against your better judgment you had gone to Matt's apartment where he had offered you a place to stay, the coumpound being the last place you wanted to be. You felt your body move and perform the simplest of tasks like washing the dishes, folding your clothes or even watching a movie but your mind just wasn't there, you were like a zombie, and it was already starting to affect your relationship with Matt, you knew it wasn't fair to him but you couldn't care in the slightest, not for now. You hated to admit it but you missed Steve, you missed his voice, his laugh, the way he looked at you, his kisses, his touches. And knowing he was so close to you was driving you crazy. But he had betrayed you. He knew it, he knew it all that time and he didn't tell you, he didn't dare to tell you that morning when it was just you and him. He had let you suffer for a year and a half. To hell with the plan, he had broken your heart. The next morning after he came, you had sneaked into Natasha's room and left the necklace with the wedding ring for her to give back to Steve, she tried to talk some sense into you but you had already made up your mind, after that you had left with Matt.

"I like this part, it's when she realizes the alien is with her on the ship" you heard Matt's voice speak, you two were watching a stupid sci-fi movie, your gaze on the screen but you weren't paying attention to it, your mind wandering elsewhere.

"Mmmh."

"And then she befriends the alien."

"Uh-huh."

"And then they move in together and play badminton on Sundays."

"Interesting."

"That's it" he said letting out a sigh before grabbing the remote and turning off the TV, snapping you out of your thoughts. "You're not even listening”.

Guilt wash all over you.

"Sorry, I was just a little distracted that's all." you said quickly.

He turned to look at you and gave you a smile but it didn't reach his blue eyes, which now that you took a good look at him were nothing like Steve's at all. "This isn't going to work, is it?" he finally asked but you knew he already knew the answer.

You sighed and shook your head slowly. He was a sweet boy and deserved better.

"I'm sorry" you said "I don't want you to think I'm just using you to get over Steve, I really like you, it's just... things are really complicated in my life right now" you finally admitted.

"I know" he said wiping away a tear you didn't know had escaped. "I knew from the moment I heard he was back. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now" he murmured.

You gave him a weak smile "I know I haven't been fair to you the last few days and I'm sorry, I know you deserve someone better, a woman who is completely crazy about you, and who will be because you are kind, thoughtful and deserve better than someone who is broken."

"You're not broken," He assure you. "I just think you really miss him and need him, and I'll let you in on a secret...he does too."

"Thank you, Matt." you said before getting up from the couch and grabbing the few things you had brought with you before heading for the door.

"I know this job demands a lot from us but there is nothing you two can't overcome, you are Steve and Y/n after all" he spoke behind you "just give him a chance to explain himself, you both deserve it."

You turned and gave him a small smile before walking out the door.

Steve was sitting at the bar, drinking his whiskey even though he knew he couldn't get drunk no matter how much he wanted to. He was twirling your wedding ring between his fingers. Ever since Natasha had given it to him he hadn't been able to take his eyes off it. Everything had gotten out of control. He took one more sip, savoring the burning sensation in his throat when he did, a hand patted his shoulder and he watched as Bucky sat down beside him.

"You're missing the party," he said sipping from his beer.

"Did you know that she's been staying at Matt's apartment these few days?" he blurted out completely ignoring his friend's earlier comment.

Bucky sighed, not quite knowing what to say.

"I remember Matt, I used to train him when he was first recruited, a good guy" he muttered "He can give her the life she deserves".

"Come on dude" bucky snorted "they've been dating for a month, it's not like they're getting married".

"It's not like she can't" Steve said "I'm sure she'll be sending me the divorce papers any minute now".

Bucky gasped.

"Impossible, she's crazy about you." He said continually shaking his head.

"I messed it up with her, Buck" he said finishing his drink before getting up and heading to his room, he was in no mood to party.

He had messed up, that morning he just thought it would be a simple mission and that he would be back that afternoon but then the lead had turned out to be more important than they had thought. Fury had told him the plan but there was no time to think about the pros and cons, they were up against the clock. So decisions were made and as much as it pained him he knew that was the only way to keep her safe, because they would come for her, of that he had no doubt. And he would do anything to protect her. Anything.

You could hear the faint sound of music coming from downstairs, the party was in progress as you walked down the empty hallways leading to the bedrooms, relieved that everyone was at the party and didn't see you coming. Matt’s words surrounding your thoughts, maybe what you needed was to hear it from Steve before you could move on with your life. You didn't realize that you had unconsciously made your way to Steve's room until you opened the door and looked inside, the room that for a year had been empty was now occupied by his things. With trembling hands you closed the door behind you and looked at his things, a shirt was on the bed and you couldn't help but pick it up and smell it. God, you had missed him so much.

Tears began to flood your eyes again but you were sick of crying so you left the shirt where it was and sat on the big bed, memories about that morning before he left filling your mind.

"I would do anything to protect you, you know that right?".

You shook your head at the memory, pushing those thoughts out of your head and placed your head in your hands.

You heard the door to the room being open and you cursed under your breath. You knew you had to face him but you didn't think it would be so soon, he was supposed to be at the party, his party.

You quickly raised your head and watched him walk in, he was wearing a completely black suit, his long hair was perfectly combed back and he still had that beard, he looked like a dream, butterflies erupting in your stomach and you had to take all your willpower not to jump him. There was a lot to talk about.

He had his eyes on the floor but when he looked at you an expression of surprise covered his face. This was the last place he thought you would be. He called your name in surprise and you quickly got out of bed.

"Sneaking out of the party?" you let out a nervous laugh at his intense stare, he hadn't moved a muscle "Come on, Steve. You know that’s not nice."

Several seconds passed and he didn't speak, maybe this was a bad idea, coming to his room was a bad idea. You turned to grab your bag off the bed and get out of there when his voice spoke behind you.

"Can I hold you?" he blurted out, startling you. You turned to look at him, he had his hands shoved in his pockets and looked shy, as if he was sure you would tell him no.

Your heart skipped a beat and you nodded your head slowly. There was a lot to talk about but you missed him more than anything in the world and you needed him. Without you having to repeat it to him, he took long strides to where you were and took you in his arms, pressing you against him, burying his head in your neck and inhaling your scent, making you shiver. You slipped your arms around his neck and shoulders and held on to him, he smelled just like you remember, of his favorite cologne and mint, and now a little whiskey too. You felt tears fill your eyes and you squeeze them shut to keep them from coming out. It felt almost unreal, while he was gone you had dreamed a thousand times of holding him in your arms, you didn't think you would ever be able to feel him again, to hear his jokes, his laughter and the way your name came from his lips. It was all too much.

Just as quickly as he had walked towards you and hugged you, he broke away from you and walked to lean against the wooden door he had entered through, too far away from you for your liking, his gaze fixed on the floor and his hands in his pockets. "I need to say this, and I can't do it if you're too close to me," he let out in a hurried voice and continued, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you during the time I was away, that morning I didn't know things would end up so badly, but it was worse than we thought and everyone was in danger...you were in danger. And I couldn't let them harm you because of me. There wasn't enough time to think of a better plan than the one Fury had come up with. I promised myself I would tell you I was safe but we realized there were infiltrators here in the building, I knew they would be watching your every move, I would put you in danger if I told you. So I told Bucky to look out for you. I know that it doesn't justify what I put you through but I needed you to know." He sigh closing my eyes. "I understand if you hate me, I know I ruined us and Matt is a great guy, I always knew you deserved someone who didn't have such a complicated life or put you at constant risk but please, I just want you to know... not only am I deeply in love with you, you are my best friend."

You couldn't breathe and you were aware that you were crying again, so without thinking twice, you advanced with a determined step towards him and when he looked up, you took his face with your hands wiping his tears away and planted a kiss, pushing your body to his, you took him by surprise but it only took a second for him to grab you by the hair and get you closer to his mouth. You had missed him so much, and yet it was as if you still knew his lips by heart and he knew yours, both matching perfectly. You let out a small groan as he lowered his hands to your waist and grabbed one of your thighs indicating you to jump, turning you around pushing you to the door, the new angle allowing you to kiss him better since he was much taller than you. After a few seconds you broke away to take a breath of air. You leaned your head back against the door running your fingers through his beard, taking your time to memorize him, he was the same yet so different but you definitely liked it.

"Stop looking at me like that, you're making me weak" he mumble hiding his face in your neck, his beard scratching your bare skin making you shiver and let out a giggle.

"I really like this beard, please don't ever shave it off". You sighed as he gave you little kisses on your neck, tickling you.

"Mmmh."

He planted one last kiss on your neck before you brought your legs to the floor again.

"I think you have something that belongs to me" you whispered as you reached into the small pocket of the black shirt; the small wedding ring. You had felt it when you were kissing him. You took it and placed it back on your finger. Steve looked at you confused but at the same time a full smile appeared on his face. You pressed your forehead to his and placed your hands on his chest.

"Don't leave me like that again, you scared me." You whispered to him.

"I promise I won't, Dollface" he whispered back. You knew there was still a lot to talk about but what you were completely sure of was that Steve Rogers never breaks a promise.

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