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cinemaseeker · 10 months

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Let's Review: Barbie

FAIR WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Barbie.

No other singular female name invokes quite as many various feelings, to such varying degrees, as Barbie. And very few names are quite as ubiquitous as Barbie (no really, name anyone you know who's never owned a Barbie at least once in their lifetime). And as with any ubiquitous entity, people are going to try and take their best shot, hoping to bring them down to our level.

Make no mistake, this movie is meant to reintroduce Barbie to a new generation of consumers. You will, more likely than not, want to buy a Barbie doll or other Mattel product either before or after watching this movie, either for yourself or for any child you know. This movie effectively serves as a mass market rebranding of Barbie, pivoting her from the poster girl for unrealistic body image/impossible feminine beauty standards to a vehicle for individuality and female empowerment.

Barbie is now all things to all people (anyone can be Barbie!), but all those things are still Barbie. However, as most of us know, a friend to all is a friend to none. If you are all things to all people, then you are effectively nothing, an empty vessel for others to project themselves onto. And indeed, even this new re-vamped Barbie can be validly viewed as a vapid vehicle for the consumer's own dreams and desires, leaving very little to no room for Barbie to have any dreams of her own.

And yet this movie still dares to ask: can a corporate capitalist product, whether it's a mass marketed toy or a Hollywood movie starring that toy, ever be a good thing, a force for positive change? Can subversive feminist messages stick stronger with audiences, especially its youngest and most impressionable viewer, if we cover it in a pink candy coating? Just give it a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down?

After all, this new Barbie now comes with her own existential crisis and has to deal with scary realities such as cellulite, aging, and *gasp* FLAT FEET (a hilarious bit of family-friendly body horror).

Not to mention a growing awareness of mortality.

To answer Barbie's question: yes. Yes, I do think about dying. We all think about dying at some point. And perhaps more importantly, our kids are starting to think about dying. I would not be surprised if there is even a single kid out there who has asked this question during playtime through their own Barbie. And for many good reasons. The world is a mess right now. Don't even get me started.

It feels like kids and adults alike are more anxious than ever and this new Barbie can certainly relate to that anxiety, even if it's not necessarily her own (it belongs to the girl playing with her). But it turns out that it's the girl's mom Gloria (America Ferrera) who's really struggling and needs Barbie's help, if only by using Barbie as a means of working through her own dissatisfaction as a working wife and mother.

This movie reminds us that we don't stop worrying about things just because we grow up. If anything, we find more things to worry about as we get older. But adults often don't get the same kind of comfort that we give to children; we're just supposed to suck it up and tough it out, but sometimes all we wanna do is stay in our rooms and play with our toys, just like we did when we were kids. Especially if we're girls, since the world is significantly much harder for us to deal with in a society that constantly polices and critiques girls and women (Gloria's speech about the impossible, and often double, standards imposed upon women is a highlight of the movie and should be required viewing for all humans)

But Barbie helps us feel like kids again.

Throughout the entire movie, Greta Gerwig and her team manage to recapture the joy of playing with Barbies with an obviously loving attention to detail. Barbie Land is that now-rare fantasy world that doesn't require a factual explanation but runs on a strong engine of internal logic that makes sense if you've ever played with dolls.

But enough about Barbie.

What about the men?

They're the ones who really have it rough here. Having to deal with all this girly stuff.

Now guys, this might come as a shock, but this movie might not be made for you in mind and therefore you may not get it. You may find yourself confused about why women in this movie are hogging the spotlight and not letting the men do anything important.

But, it's okay, don't worry guys, Ken's got you.

Barbie may be the star, but Ken gets the real emotional journey here. You see, he keeps getting friend-zoned by Barbie, who would rather hang out with her girlfriends and maintain her autonomy than spend the night with him. But once he follows Barbie into the Real World and discovers a magical society where men are in charge and women have to respect them, Ken brings some of these ideas back to the Kens in Barbie Land, thus subjugating all the Barbies to the awesome new patriarchal rule of "Kendom".

Now every night is guys' night.

Folks, go give bonus points to whoever had "Ken gets a villain arc" on their 2023 Bingo card. And while you're at it, add an extra 5 if they also included "Ironic use of a Matchbox Twenty song on the Barbie soundtrack".

Ken's story arc is a powerful reminder of why it's important to critique feminism when it doesn't work.

After all, Barbie Land's matriarchy may seem utopian at first glance, and may even be super inclusive to Barbies of all shapes and races and abilities, but ultimately it is exactly the same as our real world patriarchy, only gender-swapped, with women holding all the power and men being treated as useless accessories. This doesn't balance the scales, it just tips them all the way in the other direction. The only way to achieve true equality is for both men and women to have equal power in society. A conclusion that, thankfully, the movie reaches on its own by the end.

And although Barbie shouldn't have to apologize for not wanting to spend time with Ken or for prioritizing time for herself and her friends, I do appreciate that she was able to make things right with Ken without having to fix things with a kiss or kowtow to his desire to make her his girlfriend. Instead she helps Ken realize that he needs to figure out who he is outside of Barbie, cutting right to the root of toxic/fragile masculinity, which is usually the result of men with low self-esteem just wanting to be heard and respected.

But while Ken is hilariously drawn as a pouty, mostly innocent man child who just wants to be loved (ideally by Barbie), it's a lot harder to laugh off his antics when they result in the Kens actively stripping away constitutional rights and taking over the Supreme Court of Barbie Land. This moment especially should hit just a little too close to home and inspire us to take action.

Thankfully, this movie is not only entertaining and hella meta, but also serves as a practical instruction manual for how girls and women can deal with toxic men and take their power back, whether it's from men in power or obnoxious film bros who constantly espouse the virtues of films like The Godfather and the Snyder cut of Justice League (there's nothing wrong with enjoying these movies, just don't be a dick about it).

It has been a long, time honored tradition in Hollywood for "chick flicks", which is usually code for female-centered films, to be looked down on and mercilessly mocked while elevating more masculine movies to prestige levels. Hopefully Barbie will be the movie that helps us see that "chick flicks" can be just as powerful and impactful as "dick flicks" and then help us reclaim hyperfemininity in our fight against the patriarchy.

After all, would it really be the worst thing in the world if the revolution was not only televised, but also pink?

Listen, if you laugh during this Barbie movie and it happens to make you question and effectively challenge the patriarchy, then all the better.

So will Barbie be that radical watershed movie that inspires a whole generation to believe that the future truly is female or will it just pay lip service to a feel-good you-go-girl message while still maintaining the status quo?

As with any seed we plant, the best we can do is nurture it, give it time, then wait and see what grows.

Come on, Barbie. Let's go party.

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ems-the-fangirl · 2 years

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Got any other headcannons?

A few! Tea Knight sometimes puts Eclair on his back to work out and this flusters Eclair to no end.

Strawberry loves horror games. She likes more modern ones like little nightmares 2 or OMORI, but also loves classics like the core FNAF series, IB and Bendy and the ink machine!

Eclair originally dressed femininely because of the Fujisaki situation (being bullied for being femimine, so he cross-dressed to avoid it) He even got Earl Grey to help by claiming Eclair had been sent to a different school. then he left school and just went "Y'know what? This is comfy!" So he just dressed femininely because he found it more comfortable rather than to avoid bullying

Roguefort was AFAB and was originally called Blue Cheese Cookie. When Earl Grey and Eclair refer to them they still call them blue cheese cookie (Rogue realised they had no gender after going missing)

Eclair has called Almond dad on many,many occasions.

Latte is terrified of Angel Cookie. She will never go anywhere near that child willingly.

Angel and Devil are technically both dead! Devil was killed in a house fire, and angel died by falling down the stairs. The legendaries took pity on the two children and ressurected them as otherworldly beings.

Monopoly is banned between the parafaedia squad. Espresso threatened to transplant Latte's cat's brain into Cream Puff. Eclair's parents were brought up (unspoken rule that shouldn't happen) and Latte threatened to play baseball with her spoon and Almond (imagine that.)

Parfait cosplays. no elaboration.

Snow Sugar has been adopted by the entire kingdom

#roguefort cookie #almond cookie #eclair cookie #angel cookie #devil cookie #earl grey cookie #parfait cookie #tea knight cookie #teaclair #snow sugar cookie #cookie run headcanon

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lumine-no-hikari · 4 months

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #54

Last night, after I made the locket, I made pumpkin soup for you. But I cannot give it to you, so instead I gave it to all my friends at the place I like to go to. They were having a soup contest, so it was the perfect excuse. I've never made pumpkin soup before. But I'll walk you through how I made it nonetheless, because I think it turned out really well.

I started out with about 4 cups of my famous (it's not really famous, haha!) bone broth. Do you remember the letter I wrote to you about that, a while back? The broth I make is nutritious and intensely flavorful, so I'm glad that I had saved some of it in the freezer. It really came in handy for this:

To this, I added 4 cans of pureed pumpkin. I wished I could use fresh mashed and roasted pumpkin, but it's out of season:

I know that maybe it looks gross, but I promise you, it's very tasty stuff. It's everything I can do to resist eating it straight from the can with a spoon, hahaha!

I used a whisk to incorporate the pureed pumpkin into the broth. It looked like this by the time I was done:

From there, I incorporated maybe half a pint of heavy cream or thereabouts; it's very ballparked - I poured from the pint "until the whispered voices of my ancestors told me to stop", or so the saying goes:

...There are a lot of random sayings in my world that I think you would find delightful, actually. I really wish you were here; there are so many beautiful and funny and joyful things I want to show you. I'd give just about anything to bring out the sparkle in your eyes, the joyful smile in your face, and the delighted laughter in your voice.

I'm sorry that I couldn't somehow be around to help you when you needed it most. I'm sorry that I can't just snap my fingers and swap our places, so that you can have this beautiful life that I have now; I'm not as deserving of it as you would be if you could be here. I didn't start out kind and good like you did. You started out good and fell down. I started out bitter and managed to claw my way back up, but... only because I had help. I'm not sure I'd have managed on my own. And in your shoes, I'm certain that I'd have cracked under the pressure long before you did.

...Still. Even knowing what horrors are likely coming for you, I'd still gladly trade places so that you don't have to suffer. I'd do it in a heartbeat; I wouldn't even hesitate. The people in my immediate vicinity deserve someone more present, more capable, more wise and empathetic, and a bit less clumsy and glitchy than me anyhow. You'd fit quite nicely in my place, I think.

In any case, heavy cream adds a touch of decadence to things, but you have to be careful how much you use, because if you add too much, it'll mute other flavors:

From here, I just took a whole block of cream cheese and plopped it in there:

I waited for the heat of the rest of the soup to soften it, and then I used the whisk to incorporate it smoothly. Easy peasy.

But it was still missing a certain something. A friend of mine was visiting while I was making this, and so I asked her for her opinion. She suggested that it was missing a kind of caramelized, Maillard-reaction-esque sort of flavor. And she was absolutely correct. So I got to work pureeing some sweet onions:

Onions have a lot of sugar in them, and with just a little butter and heat, it's easy to bring out the nutty, caramelized flavor hidden within them:

From here, I incorporated it into the soup:

...I know it looks burnt, hahaha! But I promise you it isn't; the flavor is a complex mix of sweet and savory with that characteristic allium zing; it's VERY delicious.

Here's how the soup looked after the caramelized onions were whisked in:

My friend and I agreed that it didn't need anything more. Though one of my husbands (the one who does not hate soup) tried it, and was sad that it did not taste like pumpkin pie, hahaha! The flavor of this one is closer to something like tomato bisque, except with pumpkin instead of tomato - more savory than sweet.

The next day (which is today!), I brought it to the place. There were 7 other soups there. I'll show you the pictures.

Here's mine in the lineup. You're supposed to drizzle it with the table cream, and then sprinkle some pumpkin seeds on top:

This one was made by our leader. It had a well-balanced flavor and incredible texture:

This one was sweeter than I expected, but it was still very good! The variety of ingredients made for an interesting medley of flavors and textures:

This one was a bit thinner than I expected, but it was still very good! The flavors were spot on for this one!

This combination here is a classic. As you can see, there is a reason it's a classic; it's almost all gone! These flavors work really well together, and the chicken in this one was juicy and tender:

This one. This one managed to be sweet and buttery and savory all at once. I've never had a French onion soup as good as this one. This was my second favorite:

There were even little cheese breads to dunk in there!

Finally, there was this gem of a soup:

I'm sorry, but no description can do this one justice. This was my favorite one, hands down.

So, we all got little cups to put the soup in so we could try them all and select our two favorites. Mine is the top right cup!

Anyway, selecting our favorites is why we get two pennies. We put the pennies into the green cups next to the soups we liked best. I voted for the French onion and the creamy potato bacon soups.

The two soups with the most votes gets a prize. First place was the potato bacon soup. And in second place was the cheesy broccoli soup! Mine came in third place, but if I had just one more vote, I would have tied for second place.

A couple of people came to me and told me that I should have voted for my own soup, and to be sure, I did a fine job of making pumpkin soup for my first attempt, but I liked the other two I voted for better. I'm not sad about how it turned out; I made the soup with the intention of creating joy, not with the intention of competing.

Nonetheless, one of the prizes was a pair of bowls of this type:

The person who won the bowls liked my soup so much that they gave me one of theirs! I was surprised and touched by the gesture!

...Sadly, though, my bowl didn't make it into my front door whole. We got home and I tried to carry too many things back into the house at once (I really ought to know better by now, but it seems I never learn...), and the bowl ended up falling out of my clumsy, dyspraxic hands and shattering on the asphalt of the parking lot:

...I was, for a moment, devastated and stunned. I almost cried; my eyes welled up, but they didn't spill. My husband who was with me helped me pick up the pieces. We brought them into the house.

This thing occurred. And it might seem sad at first glance, but it's not; I promise you: in a few days' time, I will be sipping the soup I made for you from this bowl, and when I do, it will be an even more beautiful bowl than how it looked before it shattered. I won't tell you how; I'm going to leave you in suspense (neener, neener, neener! 🤭). You'll have to read tomorrow's letter to find out.

So keep yourself safe, all right? Make good choices so that you don't disappear. You gotta read tomorrow's letter. And the letter after that. And the letter after that. Okay? Promise me. Because you're loved and needed and wanted in this world. And because you're not hopeless or alone or broken beyond repair.

I'll write again tomorrow. I promise.

Your friend, Lumine

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aster-riskite · 1 year

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I would have a question.

Have you ever wrote a 1P! character and a 2P! character meeting? For example, England getsto know 2P! England.

If not, maybe you could try it.

I had not before receiving this, so thank you for the ask!

I took your example literally because why not, plus it made the most sense to rationalize with magic, so here ya go.

"Foils"

Feat. The Magic Men

The first thing that Oliver noticed was that he was not in his world. The buildings looked wrong, the trees looked different, and the streets were entirely empty except for one man. This man, however, was the one he had been seeking, so maybe it wasn't all wrong after all.

"Oh, lovely! Hello there."

The other man whipped his head around, standing from the bench. The green eyes and sand-blond hair were unsettlingly similar in texture and shape to Oliver's, but that was alright. That was a sign that he had the right man.

"Are you alright there? You're not unable to speak, right? That'd be rather unpleasant."

"...just who are you?" The man finally spoke, approaching Oliver cautiously. He adjusted his own leather jacket a bit.

"Oh, y'know, only a simple kitchen witch. Oliver Kirkland, it's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Uh- Arthur, here." The man looked around, then back at the bright blues that were trained on him. That, plus the unnaturally pink blond of Oliver's hair made him wary. "Just where are we? I mean, besides just outside the tower of London."

"This is what your tower of London looks like? Hm... It's a bit, well, dreadful."

"Who are you to call this place dreadful, you look like you've dressed yourself in stale cotton candy!"

"Well that was a bit rude. I thought you would be more of a, what was it... gentleman?" He tilted his head and gave a cheshire grin.

"God damn it. So I see we look similar to each other, bar the clothes. Is that the only reason you're in my dream?" Arthur scowled. He had no choice but to hate it all.

"Nope!" Oliver grinned even wider, somehow. "I've actually come to get your advice on something. See there's a small problem I'm trying where I'm from, it's quite the bother."

"Well, go on?" How could Arthur refuse when this strange near-doppelgänger had contacted him in his mind.

"Do you know how to make people happy?" The question was the first of Oliver's words in this exchange laced with any sincerity. "The people where I live are always such dreadful pessimistic downers, and all I've ever wanted was to lift their spirits. Some of them, however, tend to call me insane for thinking so positively. Can you believe it?"

"Oh." Arthur looked dumbfounded. "Hah, figures you're an optimist. Let me guess, they all say that the world is awful because nothing good ever happens to them?"

"Yea, it gets a little depressing!" Oliver giggled.

"Well, that's how I think most of the time..." Arthur sighed, wishing he had something to think about that was even a little positive. "While I try to be nice for others, all I can think is that the world hates me. Which is bloody terrible, because I'm connected to it."

"Aha! We really are opposites!" Oliver leaned into his personal space. "I'd figured you might give me some marvelous insight about yourself, if you're supposed to be my direct foil!"

"Just how did you contact me anyways?" Arthur chuckled to himself, finding Oliver's constant schoolgirl-giggling infectious.

"Oh, just a little potion I put in my tea."

"...Maybe we're not complete opposites. That's exactly what I do with my own potions."

"Well, you know what they say! A spoonful of cinnamon-"

"I beg your pardon? It's sugar."

"Well, I could have sworn it was cinnamon. A spoonful of cinnamon helps the poison go down?"

"Well- I mean- Are you telling me that in your world, Mary Poppins is a murderer?" Arthur looked even more dumbfounded than before.

"Why, it's one of my favorite horror films. Howcome?" Oliver couldn't help his own confusion, wondering what Arthur's 'Mary Poppins' film was like.

"Bloody hell... Two sides of the same coin indeed."

"Yea, foils, like I said."

A moment of silence passed, the foils sitting on a bench.

"You're not a murderer too, are you?" Arthur asked quietly.

"Well, only when I need to be." Oliver replied. "Such as when a poor mortal disrespects something I value!"

"Ah... I don't have such loose criteria, I'm afraid."

"Oh, don't worry, poppet. Not all of us need to be monsters."

"I realize that, but I don't think you're a monster. You've proven to be kind. Flawed, and maybe a little trigger happy, but optimistic. That has to mean something if you live in a world of pessimistic arseholes like myself." Arthur let himself relax into the bench.

Oliver stared at him, the baby blue of his eyes welling up with unnecessarily tears. He blinked and wiped his face on his sleeve after a moment.

"Are you alright-"

"I really needed to hear that! Haha! Thank you, honestly." He didn't bother going into the complexity of it just yet. He wanted to appreciate being told he was kind for now.

"Well, you're a nice chap, so... you're welcome." Arthur smiled awkwardly.

Oliver almost wanted to talk about how cutthroat his world was. He wanted to talk about the suffering he endured, or the way he spited his world with a smile. He wanted to talk about the pain he watched others go through, just to make him feel like an idiot for trying to smile.

The alarm clock by his bed interrupted him, though.

"Seems I'll have to go soon." Oliver muttered. "So long, Arthur! Have a nice rest of your dream!" Oliver's cheshire grin returned, and he waved to his counterpart happily.

"Yeah, alright, I'll try." Arthur offered a smile in return. "You go and live your life, alright? I'd rather not make it a habit to peer into the life of my sparkly doppelgänger."

"Sparkly? I'll have you know that this is pastel!"

"Hah. Foils after all..."

It was at that moment that Oliver walked-no, skipped-away, fading into the horizon.

"..hah. He's bonkers."

...

Oliver woke up in the embrace of soft cushions he had made, along with the feeling of paper by one of his hands.

"Ahh... Good morning, my world. Magnificent day we're having already, hm?" His voice was soft, as it usually was in the morning.

It was at that point, James wandered into his room.

"Can I help you?" Oliver offered, smiling in spite of his disheveled state.

"It's three PM... What the fuck are you doing in bed?" He adjusted his sunglasses with an annoyed expression. The classic RBF of this particular Canadian.

"Well, since you've asked, I'd be delighted to tell you."

...

Arthur felt someone tapping his shoulder as he began to wake up, light flooding into his vision. It was startling enough to recall the odd dream, and even more startling to see that he'd fallen asleep at his desk. All in all, just an incredibly weird experience.

"Agh, what in god's name-" Arthur finally whipped around to see he whom had disturbed his slumber.

"Sorry, you just... It's three in the afternoon." Matthew, from behind him, pulled away. "I was just doing a wellness check."

"Right." Arthur forced himself to stand, stretching a bit. "Well, anyways... I had the most peculiar dream."

"Really?" Matthew blinked a bit, curious. "What was it about?"

"Well, there was quite the colorful character, that's for sure."

#hetalia #fanfiction asks #hws england #2p england #arthur kirkland #oliver kirkland #the only reason their respective canadas are there is because i didn't have a better idea #not ship

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royal1asset-if · 1 year

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How would ROs react if relationship stage MC came to them, looked them in the eyes very romantically and thread their fingers through the RO's hair?

Sorry for answering this late, for some reason when I wanted to answer this ask it disappear in my inbox then the next day it appeared again ????

The other 3 will soon to follow, net is being laggy again.

So anyhow, I present you the reactions of the RO's 😊😊

(Luna's POV)

You were eating pie and enjoying it, each bite you will close your eyes and try to decipher the ingredients use.

You took the fork and gently placed it in your mouth.

Hmmm, stawberries, sugar and other baking products.

Still savoring, MC barge in the room and making you jumped a little.

You looked at MC with murder in your eyes, daring to disturb your me time.

MC did not flinch under your glare and returned your glare with his own, then they started to walk towards you and leaning close(personally close) to your face and locking eyes with you.

MC raised a finger and glide it in your hair.

"What are you doing?" you ask MC and you feel any moment that your hand will be coated in their blood.

MC continued to trace your hair and started to curl it in their fingers.

"Oh me just playing your hair romantically!" they say flirtly and grinning at you.

Well that's the last straw and you started to beat them up, no wait correction beat them to a pulp.

"Please Moonpie, I'm just being romantic that's all!" MC pleads and evading a piece of wooden spoon being throwed at them.

"YOU INTERUPTED MY MEDIATION SO THAT YOU CAN BE ROMANTIC!" you say and grabbing a knife from the sink.

"HAHA C'MON MOONPIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT KNIFE?" they eyed you with horror and you cornering them.

'OH THIS, LET'S SAY THAT YOU CAN BE ROMANTIC USING YOUR OWN HAIR!" you say and planning what kind of haircut you're gonna give to MC.

(Amelia's POV)

Sitting on a bench at the park, you feel at ease here, breathing in the fragrant smell of the flowers and seeing kids running amok without a worry and of course laughing at the parents who is chasing after their child in terror.

Still admiring the view, you felt a hand rubbing your head.

"What are you doing?" you looked at MC with a playful smile on your face.

"Oh me? just giving my Angel a hair scratch and being romantic!" they say and grinning at you.

You hold their hand in place and your mind conjured a wonderful idea.

"Your not getting in the right place, here let me help!" you let go of their hand and lie down in their lap and stetrching your legs.

MC looking down at you fondly and kissing your forehead. "I think I'm gonna regret this sooner or later!" they continue to trace your hair and curling it in their fingers.

"Why?" you stifle a laugh and knowing the answer.

"Because I think that you're enjoying this more than I do!" they lean close and giving you a peck on the nose.

The day continued slowly and you savoring each passing time, you and MC stayed like this and pointing at the sky seeing clouds with different kind of shapes.

(Conrad's POV)

You were writing your research and observation on your notes and drinking tea to relax your nerves and give your mind some respite.

Then MC open the door to your break room and you didn't give them a glance, knowing that their are only 2 persons who can enter your room and that is MC and your Mentor but of course with your permission other people can also enter your room.

Still sipping your drink and writing your notes, you felt your hair being traced.

"What are you doing?" you inquire MC behind you, who is not still stopping playing with your hair.

"Being romantic!" they started to curl your hair in their fingers and started to smell your hair?

"You smell nice!" they compliment you and going back to playing with your hair.

"Thank you!" Not minding MC, MC is very weird trying out the weirdest romantic approach but you don't mind and you be lying if you didn't like it.

#royalasset #character asks #Luna #Conrad #Amelia #Relationship

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xoxo-bunnydumpling · 1 year

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So, I have podcasts going all the time because my ADHD will not allow me to read the news and I still like to know what's going on in the world. And also because I'm an emotional little pigeon, nine times out of ten I like my news swaddled in comedy because a spoonful of sugar helps the horrors go down.

I'm not religious at all but not really atheist either, it's just not something I care about that much either way to be honest but I do have several atheism-centric podcasts in my rotation because the hosts are funny.

One group, Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, has a phrase stuck in my head currently. We're hearing a lot of dumbassery from Marjorie Taylor Greene because that's the only kind of assery she knows how to put out, and one of the hosts (Eli Bosnick) has nicknamed her Madge Tadge Gadge. I cannot see or hear her name normally now and the moral of this story is that I'd like to have that kind of psychological effect on people some day.

I just kind of can't be arsed to start a podcast so that could be a problem.

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mikeap0logist · 2 years

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hey, it’s @byler-barista-anon again!

i’ve asked this to people before, but it’s one of my favorite asks so i’m going to ask you too

it’s s5e5 and the rain just started pouring, what drinks are mike and will having before the fight starts? and after, what movie are they cuddled up on the couch watching?

Ooohh I really like this question!

Ok so I really picture Will to be that kind of person that NEVER adds sugar to his drinks, maybe a little spoon if it is TOO strong (he’s still 14/15). So, I think Will is that kind of person to like his coffee black, maybe with some drops of milk. Also whenever he feels like drinking something sweeter, instead of sugar, he would add some cream. Otherwise, I really see him liking tea too (it helps him with his sleep), but instead of sugar, he adds honey to it.

Mike, on the other hand, I picture him being a sugar lover oh god 😭 he adds AT LEAST three spoons of sugar to his coffee and milk, four if the coffee was strong to begin with. He likes to act edgy but he really loves his sugar. Also, when he first started drinking coffee, it was mostly milk with a bit of coffee because he really didn’t like the taste of coffee at all but he kept insisting he wanted some. Eventually he started to like it (with lots of sugar though), but not as much as Will.

So, the night before the fight, I think they would be in Mike’s kitchen (I picture Mike’s house like some kind of HQ). They’d be sitting at the table, the energy kind of somber due to what’s coming, and Mike just made some coffee for both of them. They couldn’t sleep anyways.

Mike offers Will some sugar and Will rejects the offer gently. Mike makes a funny face, because how come Will liked his coffee black? Will would notice and ask what’s wrong, to which Mike would only answer:

“Black coffee without sugar? That’s nasty” and he’s saying this while already adding his fourth spoon of sugar, to which Will wrinkles his nose at and laughs a bit. He would probably say something about how the sugar ruins the flavor, and Mike would argue back only to make Will smile a little more and help him forget what was about to go down, at least for a few minutes.

Oh but after the fight? I really picture them curled up on Mike’s sofa in the basement, under, at least, two quilts. Instead of coffee, they’d both have some milk with cocoa because they need that comfort. Of course, Mike added sugar to it, meanwhile Will thinks the sugar on the cocoa (and Mike’s kisses) is enough.

And I don’t know much about movies in the 80’s (or movies in general), but even though they like action movies (and we know Will loves horror movies), I think they’d watch something more lighthearted, because they have had enough action and horrors to last for a while. Maybe their favorite childhood movie or some fantasy!

Ok so I made it longer that it probably should be but <3 byler <3 am I right

#byler #ask #mike wheeler #will byers

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avocado-frog · 2 years

Text

Forget-me-not. 15 (Second on time chapter in a row??)

Rating: T Warnings: None, all good this chapter Word count: too many (5,000) Chapter title: 12/25/2018 Summary: It's holiday time and the kids do holiday activities. Leo is the star of the grinch, Logan cheats at snowball fights, Sam freezes to death, Elliot has a hot chocolate and a break from being traumatized all the time

Leo was appalled. It was, quite frankly, an ungodly amount of marshmallows. Leo stared in horror, watching Sam grab a handful of small marshmallows and drop them into a mug of hot cocoa. It did not escape her when he took a large sip of the steaming liquid and barely flinched.

"Good luck with your blood sugar, kid." Leo ruffled his hair, and he grinned, chocolate surrounding his lips, as he sped off, and Leo barely had time to warn him not to spill it, or else she'd have to kill him for staining the carpet, as she started up on Elliot's cup.

As she had come to find out, Elliot liked sugar. She stirred an extra bit of chocolate in his, glancing over at her brother, who waited diligently, sitting on the kitchen counter, hands shaking. Once she deemed it cool enough, because she knew Elliot wouldn't wait for himself, she set it on the counter with a soft clink.

Elliot hopped off the counter and over to the other counter that held the microwave. In front of the microwave, Leo had lined up some toppings; whipped cream, sprinkles, cinnamon, and marshmallows. Elliot's gaze flicked between each of them, before glancing back up at Leo.

"Use as many as you want, kid. It doesn't matter, just try not to go crazy with it, yeah?"

A nod from Elliot, as he sprinkled a bit of cinnamon into his, and put in exactly five marshmallows. He handed her the whipped cream, and she helped him, making a perfect swirl over the mug. He finished it off with sprinkles, red and green, as Jaxon insisted they be festive.

"Please pace yourself." Leo handed him a spoon. "Brush your teeth afterwards, too. Actually, fuck that, don't listen to me."

"I never started listening to you." Elliot's full attention was on the hot chocolate monstrosity Leo made. "Thanks, Leo!"

Once the second left through the doorframe to join the others in watching movies on the couch, the third entered. Leo grabbed the bag of apple cider mix, reading over the ingredients again.

"Leo, did you-"

"Reading them right now," Leo informed her third brother. Ryan, allergic to dairy, had settled for apple cider, despite Leo offering to find him some almond milk, and the type of dark chocolate that didn't have dairy. She handed the package to her brother, and he scanned over the list, before nodding in satisfaction.

"My mom used to make this a lot," Ryan said, as Leo stirred the apple cider in a mug. She looked down at him. He had a faint smile on his face. "She made sugar cookies, too."

"I can't tell if this is your subtle way of asking me to make sugar cookies, or if you're just talking to yourself." Leo handed him his mug. "Either way, you can remember that?"

Ryan nodded, holding the cup in his hands. She gave him a handful of marshmallows, but warned him not to put them in his cup. It wouldn't taste good.

"I can remember everything," Ryan said. Leo turned the stove off. "It's weird. I just can't forget stuff."

"Hmm, that is a bit weird. Maybe talk to Lily. She's a psychology nerd. And then, go bully Logan into making sugar cookies. He'll do it if you pretend to be sick, or something. He'll feel bad."

She followed him as he walked out of the room, careful not to spill the apple cider, to the living room, where their group of nine sat on either the couch, in Logan, Cass, and Lily's case, or a blanket pile on the floor.

She had made most of the kids hot chocolate, though she told the older kids that they could do it themselves, she wasn't their mother. No matter how many times Sam messed up and called her his mom.

Leo found her seat in the blanket pile, a large black and red blanket tossed haphazardly on the floor, next to Jaxon, wrapped in a yellow blanket with a flannel pattern, holding a cookie in his hand.

"Hey, did you guys know Leo actually played in this movie?" Cass, sitting behind her, gestured vaguely at the screen. Leo blinked, a bit confused, until she realized what movie was playing, and her expression fell flat. Light laughter from the other kids.

Jaxon shook her shoulder. "You played the Grinch, didn't you?"

"Watch it, blue." She glared at him half-heartedly. "Obviously I was Max."

"You mean the depressed dog with antlers?" Jaxon gave her a glance. Leo nodded.

"Yeah, pretty much." Leo leaned back on her hands. It was early in the morning, but the lights were dimmed and the curtains were drawn shut, letting only the warm lamp and the tree that Jaxon nearly burnt down, as well as the TV light up the room.

The subtitles were on for Dylan, though Leo always watched movies with subtitles anyway, finding it more enjoyable to read along to the movie as opposed to paying attention to the colors on the screen. She caught a glimpse of the other kids on the floor. Dylan leaned forward, completely wrapped in a gray blanket, looking a little tired. Ryan watched, drinking the apple cider slowly, paying close attention. Sam bounced where he sat, absorbing the information presented to him with wide eyes and a grin, while Elliot just looked confused, mostly focused on his abomination of a drink.

Back home, Leo never did anything for any of the holidays, unless Cass asked her to, or her cousins invited her to their house. She had never been the nicest to them, so usually they invited Cass, and left a throwaway you can come too, that Leo almost never accepted. Absently, she traced a flower on the palm of her hand. Maybe she could give her cousins a call later, she knew Cass had been talking to them weekly, she'd never joined, never felt welcomed to join. At the very least, she would text her grandmother.

After the first movie ended, they moved on to the next, Frosty the Snowman, only about forty-five minutes long. She actually had it in her VHS collection at Kai's house. She perked up slightly at the thought. She should go over and get her collection soon. She didn't think she would be gone longer than two weeks at the time, and there would have been no place to put any of that, but now that she was sort of living there, she may as well find everything she'd spent so long collecting. Maybe Logan would be interested, too.

"The movie is called Nightmare Before Christmas," Lily leaned down to mumble.

"The first song is literally called This is Halloween," Jaxon argued, glaring at his sister.

"Every year," Logan muttered, still smiling, despite Jaxon and Lily's quiet arguing.

"Well, personally, I think it's a Thanksgiving movie." Leo shrugged, and grinned, as both pairs of eyes snapped to meet hers. "What? There aren't enough Thanksgiving movies."

Jaxon looked absolutely betrayed. "What are you talking about?"

"Fuck you and your opinions," Lily said, shaking her head in dismay. Leo cackled.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Leo paused for dramatic effect, and looked at Jaxon. "It's a Halloween movie, come on Lily."

Jaxon cheered triumphantly, raising his hand in the air for a high five. Leo winced when their hands made contact.

"I feel like I just slapped a brick, holy shit." Leo cradled her hand, while Jaxon snickered.

They watched a few more movies in general silence, save for the few questions by one of the triplets, or a comment by Lily, and despite the fact that it was only seven in the morning, Dylan, Ryan, and Logan had fallen asleep, leaving the rest of them watching their fifth movie of the morning.

"So, I'll bet Logan's going to make you the second group leader," Jaxon whispered, knees drawn up, as he leaned forward, head propped on his arms. Leo glanced at him. "I mean, since you're the second-oldest now. Aren't you? You're older than Cass, right?"

"I am." Leo nodded. It was only by a little bit, they were still twins, but Leo was in fact older, only by a little bit. "Why?"

"We do a snowball fight." Jaxon shrugged, and yawned. "Usually, we split up into groups. It'll be more fun with everyone else this year."

Leo nodded again. "I've never actually participated in a snowball fight. Are there rules?"

Jaxon looked at her blankly. "Throw snowball. First team to surrender loses. Winners get the first slices of cake later. You don't want to miss out on Logan's cake, trust me."

Leo hummed a bit. "I'll probably lose. It's an adult with ice magic versus a significantly shorter teenager with fire magic."

Jaxon simply patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. "A point has been made. I will try really hard to get on Logan's team. Sorry, dude. Good luck."

It was about noon when they finished their last movie, quite literally, as they didn't have any Christmas DVDs left. Logan had woken up at some point by then, which woke up the others, of course.

Before she even had a chance to think about it, they all collectively decided to start going outside. Leo struggled with the golden buttons on her coat for an embarrassingly long amount of time, tugging a black hat over her ears, and throwing on red mittens.

As she walked out into the hallway, she caught sight of Elliot, looking angry and mildly uncomfortable, and Leo had to hide a laugh with a fake cough. He had an oversized puffy jacket, black snow pants, and purple snow boots, as well as a purple hat and matching gloves. He also had a scarf tied around his neck in a knot.

Leo stopped him before he could even try to go down the stairs, and knelt down in front of him. His hair had been dyed back from stark white to blond by Jaxon, but had a light purple tinge on the edges.

"You're going to choke, kid," Leo chided gently, undoing the knot in the scarf, mumbling instructions to herself as she tied it properly. "There you go. Careful down the stairs."

Elliot gave a firm nod, going down the steps excruciatingly slowly. Leo followed, ready to be beat in the snowball fight.

Logan stood, waiting at the bottom of the stairs with a half-smile on his face, a competitiveness never before witnessed on such a person. His confidence practically brightened the area, which Leo supposed was fair. It was a snowball fight, and he could control snow with his hands. If it was a fight in which they fought with balls of fire, Leo was sure she'd be confident, too.

"I picked my team last night, didn't Jaxon tell you?" Logan said, voice holding a lighthearted smugness. "You're with him and the triplets, by the way."

Of-fucking-course she was. Jaxon, who was great, all things considered, but was very much not fast or well-coordinated, and her brothers whose whole personalities were practically built upon their mutual disliking of each other.

Logan gave her a pat on the shoulder, going to go meet the others outside. Leo glared at his back as he left.

"Oh, that asshole." Elliot and Jaxon were both still inside, waiting for her. Sam seemed to still be upstairs, judging by the loud footsteps running down the steps. Ryan was probably with him. "Listen, we're going to beat them up. With snow, of course."

Elliot pounded his fist into his hand with the angriest look he could manage. Leo shot finger guns at him.

"Love the energy you bring to the table, dude."

The air outside was bitterly cold when Leo stepped out, the remaining three kids trailing behind her. The snow was about five inches deep, reaching about her ankles when she walked. Logan, Cass, Dylan, and Lily stood the distance of the front yard away, about twenty feet.

Leo made eye contact with Cass, and slid her finger across her throat. Cass returned with a death glare. Jaxon made it a point to flip everyone on the other team off. Every tie she had with the other group was temporarily cut for their battle. They would show no mercy.

"Starting the timer! Are you guys ready?" Logan yelled from across the yard. Leo gave a nod and a thumbs up in affirmative.

The four of them- they had a fourth member on account of Logan's ice magic- dropped to the ground once Jaxon explained the timer. They had ten minutes to form a base.

Leo and Jaxon began by packing snow into a wall as tall as they were, which was an average of five feet, while she sent the triplets to make a supply of snowballs.

Leo pounded her gloved hand against the thick snow, packing it into their wall, as Jaxon worked on extending their boundaries a bit. The triplets had a good pile of snowballs built up, and with a surprising lack of arguing between Elliot and Sam.

Jaxon moved to sit against the wall, and the younger three moved to be in front of them. Their base was made, their weapons were created, now all they could do was wait.

"So, plan?" Jaxon turned to her. Leo shrugged.

"Throw snow and hope to live."

"That's bleak."

Leo shrugged again. From the other side of the yard, Logan announced the ending of their final ten minutes. Leo stood up, and took a glance out from behind their wall. Clearly not her smartest choice, as she was almost immediately pelted in the face with a snowball. By her own sister, too. The audacity.

Leo turned around, very slowly, with snow dripping down her face and into her coat. Jaxon burst into hysterical giggles, and Leo glared.

She clapped her hands together once. "New plan! Who wants to push my sister?"

Jaxon stopped laughing after a second, and gave her a salute. "I'd be honored."

Leo nodded, suddenly serious, as she rested an arm on his shoulder. "Good luck, soldier."

A firm nod from Jaxon, as he sped off into the enemy territory. Leo pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. She turned to her brothers.

"Well, I'm livid. And very, very cold. You kids ready?"

Elliot lifted a snowball in each hand, Sam grinned widely, and Ryan gave a nervous little shrug. Leo picked up a snowball, patted it down into the best sphere she could make, and leaned against the wall, motioning for her brothers to do the same.

In the distance, she heard Cass shriek, followed by the sound of someone falling into the snow. Leo grinned. "He's done it, the madman."

Leo slid from behind the wall, barely able to dodge a snowball that rocketed past her face. She launched her snowball at Dylan, landing square in the chest. They stared at her in pure shock and rage, before running forward, stopping suddenly, about a foot in front of her, to kick snow at her. She raised an arm to block it from hitting her face, watching the kid attempt to run away. Ryan tripped them, and they landed on their face in the snow. Leo snorted, watching as Dylan rolled over, and landed in the snow in a state of shock.

Leo continued her path forward, her brothers close behind her, and she came across Lily. She decided to pull a Dylan, and kick snow at her friend, who retaliated by kicking snow back at her. It went on like that for a while, before Lily simply shoved her, and Leo fell onto her back. The snow made the back of her neck numb, but she recovered quickly enough, shooting back up.

Behind her, she could hear the giddy laughter and shrieks of the younger kids, as her brothers attacked Lily and Dylan from all sides. There was a concerning lack of Logan, Cass, and Jaxon, however. Leo's eyes narrowed as she continued onward, sighing in disbelief at Logan's base. It was a large igloo, surrounded by spikes of ice. It had definitely been cheating on Logan's end. Magic shouldn't have been allowed.

Passing the spikes of ice, she entered the doorway of the igloo, and saw Jaxon, sitting against the wall. They made eye contact, and Leo was sure she saw his pupils shrink.

"Leo, it's a trap-"

"Wh-"

The igloo collapsed, burying the two in a pile of snow. Leo screamed, and said a word she did not want to pass on to her brothers, quite loudly, in fact, within earshot of their neighbors. It was muffled by the suffocating cold, as she clawed her way out of the snow, head emerging from the top. Snow had practically glued her eyes shut, and clung to her hair, but she raised her arm and found the strength to flip everyone within eyesight off.

She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, and saw Jaxon slide down the pile, shivering violently. She could also see Cass, leaning forward, with her hand covering her mouth. Logan stood next to her, a grin plastered on his face as he frantically tried to apologize to a rightfully furious Jaxon.

Leo slid down the snow pile, and stood up where she had landed. Cass and Logan were standing underneath a tree, amused by Jaxon and Leo's collective suffering. Leo's gaze snapped to Logan, who she was sure was the cause.

"You fucker." She pointed an accusatory finger at him. He only laughed. "This will not be forgotten. Come summer, and I will enact my revenge."

"Leo-" Logan was shaking, though not from the cold. "I'm- so sorry."

"Lies."

Jaxon grumbled something incoherent, kicking snow into Cass's boot, and Leo nodded in his direction. "Excellent job, Jaxon."

Jaxon nodded back, satisfied with watching Cass attempt to take the clumps of snow out of her shoe. Leo picked up a clump of snow and chucked it at Logan, and so it continued.

By now, the battle was Leo throwing snow at Logan, and Jaxon at Cass, while the two retaliated. The rest of them watched, still amused by Jaxon and Leo's previous suffering.

"Okay, okay. We get it-" Logan was interrupted by a snowball to the mouth. "Leo-"

Leo's eyes narrowed, as she aimed another snowball. "Vengeance."

Snow had melted through her now useless gloves, so her hands were cold, which thoroughly sucked, but revenge would be enacted.

Logan looked unfazed. A bit annoyed from all the snow, sure, but unfazed. "Done?"

Leo glared harder. "Yes."

Logan nodded, brushing snow off his sweater. "Cool. I think I'll make some soup, and we'll stay inside for a bit."

Jaxon paused, whipping around, eyes blown wide. "Hell yeah! Soup!"

The snowball fight was quickly abandoned, having lasted nearly two hours, as Jaxon rushed inside, the rest of them followed quickly behind.

"My teeth are frozen." Sam kicked his boots off, and Leo nodded in understanding.

Out of the triplets, Sam actually looked the worst off. Something that was actually surprising, considering how immune to everything else he was. She was beginning to think he was immortal, actually.

Elliot just shrugged, said he was used to the cold, though his face was pale and his nose and cheeks were bright red, and he was shivering violently. He said he was fine. Ryan claimed that it wasn't as cold as he thought it would be, odd, considering he barely left the house.

Sam, on the other hand, almost looked blue with how cold he was. Leo told him not to run his hands under hot water, because that actually hurt, and instead to throw his blanket in the dryer for a while. The soup would likely take all of ten minutes. It wasn't that hard to make.

Leo picked her blanket off the floor from earlier, moving to steal Logan's spot on the couch, while the younger four kids moved to where the boxes underneath the tree were. Logan and Leo had wrapped most of them, save for the ones for themselves, and had color-coded them. It wasn't hard to guess. Blue for Jaxon, orange for Sam, purple for Elliot, and so on and so forth.

Logan brought out bowls of chicken noodle soup (vegetable soup for Dylan, who didn't like meat) and Leo got to do her new hobby of eating clearly-steaming food in front of people, just to watch them freak out.

She did not do that when Elliot was watching, as Elliot was like a two-year-old kid who copied his older siblings. The boy already didn't care about what he did, she didn't need to teach him to shove burning food in his face.

The twins and Logan sat on the couch, effectively kicking the rest of them out to the floor, and Logan commented on how she stole his spot, to which she flipped him off once again. The daily record for how many times she flipped Logan off in one day had been met. She gave herself an internal high-five.

Sam rushed upstairs, something Leo raised an eyebrow at. The kid was getting better at going up and down staircases without freaking out, though she couldn't say the same for Elliot. She tried to talk to him about it, but he seemed to genuinely not know why he was afraid.

He came back in record time, a stack of folded papers in his hand and a grin on his face. He skidded to a stop in front of Leo, bouncing where he stood.

"Leo! I made you a card!" He presented the paper to her, and Leo nodded, swallowing. That was actually quite sweet. If she knew having younger brothers would make her upset over a card, she would have said no.

"Really? I didn't get any of you shit."

Naturally, she used her defense mechanism of heavy sarcasm. Sam was undeterred, sensing the joking in her tone. She hoped.

"What're those then?" Elliot appeared behind Sam suddenly, and Sam shrieked. Elliot gave her a little half-smile, silently challenging her. The little shit.

Leo pretended to look surprised. She glanced at the pile of boxes. "Oh, those? Those are for me."

Elliot's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why'd you bring them downstairs, then?"

"To show off the fact that I didn't get any of you shit."

They stuck their tongues out at each other like petulant children. She nodded in Sam's direction. "Thanks, Sam."

Opening it, she found the words, you're very cool in black writing on one side of the page, and a stick figure drawing with long hair and a jacket. She assumed it was her. She would give the art skills a ten out of ten.

The older kids let the younger ones go first, naturally, and Leo found it greatly amusing. They went in waves, with the youngest four going first, Lily and Jaxon next, and the twins and Logan last. The triplets had no idea what they were doing.

Elliot built a fortress out of his boxes, hiding himself within a shiny, purple lair. Ryan diligently picked at the tape, waving his hand when it would inevitably get stuck to him, and Sam tore the wrapping paper to absolute shreds.

"A box!"

"There're things in the box, Sam," Leo called from her spot on the couch, sipping out of the dark green soup bowl. "Let me know if you need a knife."

"Can I have a knife?" Elliot asked from his fortress. Leo sighed.

"No, Elliot. You haven't even opened anything. I'm not giving you a knife."

Elliot glared at her with the darkest look he could manage. "Bullying."

"I'm not giving you a knife. You know what? I'm not giving Sam a knife either. Ryan's the only one I trust with a knife."

Ryan muttered something in response, and Sam cringed deeply, but Leo chose not to question that.

She didn't even need to go find one, as Sam was a menace who was fully capable of ripping through the packaging tape, the little madman, to find several packing peanuts (a mistake. Leo had to tell him that no, they weren't real peanuts, don't eat them) and a few Lego sets. A dragon, a car, and a snake.

Ryan got some Legos, too, because Leo didn't know what the kids nowadays were into. She could only assume it was the little colorful bricks. His Legos consisted of a boat, a submarine, and a really elaborate looking golden gate bridge.

Elliot's Lego sets were all either fantasy-themed or space-themed. He got a different dragon than Sam, so that there wouldn't be fights over it, like Leo anticipated, though there would likely be fights with the dragons. Elliot's was blue, and Sam's was red. There was a rocket ship, and a castle.

For Dylan, they liked supernatural stuff, so a haunted house Lego set, and a few based on some games they played with her and Jaxon on Saturdays, when they would go to one of their rooms and play games all night.

For Jaxon, it'd been a lot easier. A few games that she knew he didn't have, some hair dye because his roots were growing out, and a yellow jacket. Despite the fact that he continuously dyed his hair blue, Jaxon's favorite color was yellow. When asked, he went on a rant about how yellow hair dye wouldn't go with his skin tone, and that blue was his second favorite, and would suffice. Leo didn't understand a word out of that boy's mouth sometimes.

And Lily, a shirt that said world's worst grandpa in comic sans print on a blue t-shirt that was twice her size. In exchange, Lily had given her a shirt that simply read vodka aunt on a dark red t-shirt, so it all worked out. Jaxon thought it was the funniest thing known to man, so there was that.

Leo wasn't all that great at receiving presents, in the past, she usually would have just thrown whatever it was back at the person who gave it to her, or she'd tell them not to use their money on her. So, awkward Leo noises were made when a box wrapped in neat black paper was presented.

A book from Logan, a matchbox from Cass, (very funny, Cassie) that shirt from Lily, an actual minifridge from Jaxon (how did you get this, you don't have money) three-hundred-dollar headphones from Dylan (shit how did you get this, you have less money than Jaxon does) and Lily took the triplets to get things for the others at the store, so a pack of energy drinks from Ryan, a rubber chicken from Sam, and a hoodie from Elliot. They knew her well, it seemed.

There wasn't much else for them to do, even if it was only ten in the morning. Leo never did a lot in winter, she wasn't sure what the options were. For now, she was content watching Elliot struggle with Legos. He and Sam, as Leo predicted, fully planned on building their respective dragons to attack each other with. Neither one had any idea what they were doing, and Elliot asked for help finding certain pieces so many times that Leo simply decided to get off the couch and help build it. Sam accused her of choosing sides, and enlisted Cass's help. Ryan watched with a pointedly unamused expression.

The dragon was a bit harder than Leo assumed, though Elliot was very distractible, so that couldn't have helped. They still finished long before Sam did, because Sam had an attention span of about three seconds, and it was really mostly Cass by this point. Still, the two finished after a solid forty five minutes of tedious Lego building, resorting to smacking each other with their respective dragons. Ryan and Dylan, clearly the older two in this situation, built an army out of stuffed animals. They only attacked if one of the dragons happened to hit them.

They let the kids attack each other, as long as they weren't actively bleeding, they'd be fine. Jaxon, the genius that he was, suggested sledding after another hour or so.

"It's where you sit on a piece of plastic and slide down a hill, hoping you don't die," Leo explained with a shrug when Sam asked. "To people with any sort of regards to their personal safety, that sounds dangerous. But you're Sam and you'd probably jump off a moving vehicle if given the opportunity."

"Leo's just salty because she broke her leg on a sled when we were twelve and there wasn't anything we could do about it." Cass shrugged, eliciting a snicker from Jaxon.

"No, you don't understand-" Leo tried to defend herself. "Cass's magic can't do anything for broken bones, and I'm literally not allowed in hospitals, apparently? I couldn't get myself in so I had to ask Emily and she just told me no?"

"Oh, that's normal, actually," Logan said, completely nonchalantly. "They'll just send you straight back to the lab if you try. So don't get any fatal injuries, or else you're sort of fucked."

Leo gasped dramatically. "Logan? Capable of such language?"

"Wait, seriously?" Cass's whole head snapped over to Logan. "Is that why we've never been to the doctor?"

Leo shrugged. "Yeah, probably."

"Leo- how are you so calm about this?" Cass stressed, visibly shaking.

"Eh, we'll be fine. I doubt any of us will get hurt enough to go to the hospital."

Lily turned from where she had been doing a puzzle. "Leo, every time you say something like that, you're jinxing us."

"And have you met me?" Jaxon almost looked offended. "You really think I won't get hurt doing something stupid? Come on, Leo. We've known each other for like, three months now. Have some more faith in me."

"Elliot doesn't have any sort of regard for personal safety and neither does Sam." Ryan gestured at his brothers, who both nodded in response. "And Jaxon thinks I'm small enough to be taken away by hawks."

"Yeah, I realized what I said was stupid the minute it left my mouth," Leo admitted. "I don't think you're that short, Ryan. Although, I don't know how small you were when you were five, but I'm sure you could have been mistaken for a very small animal back then. Maybe a hawk would've stolen you."

From the couch, Leo could hear Cass's ringtone for Kai (she didn't have Marcy's phone number, for some reason) so she stood, shuffling over to the couch, despite the growing nerves. She hadn't spoken to her cousins in a few months, she had texted their grandmother to let her know that they were okay, but that was two months ago.

It was a face time, Leo realized with a suppressed groan as she sat on the couch in between Logan and her sister.

"First time doing a face time with the others around," Cass mumbled, shaking her head. "Who's going to interrupt?"

Leo hummed, tapping her chin in joking contemplation. "All of them. I presume you've told them about the whole our life is a lie thing?"

Cass nodded, and the call was answered, their cousin's and grandmother's faces now on their screen. Leo greeted with a small wave, and her cousins seemed to be a bit surprised that she was there. She felt a bit bad about that.

"Woah! Leo's alive!" Marcy said from the phone. A bit rude, in Leo's opinion.

"For now," Leo deadpanned in response. "My brain cells are being slowly killed the longer I'm here, though."

Kai chuckled a bit. "It's nice to see you. Marcy's just being Marcy."

Leo shrugged. "She's just Lily with black hair at this point."

Elliot suddenly appeared behind the couch, peeking over Leo's head, and Kai commented on it, and Leo shrieked.

"Where did you come from?"

"Hell."

Leo sputtered, to both her cousin's, and her friend's amusement. "Do you teleport?"

Elliot shrugged. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just a really light walker. You'll never know."

Leo gestured to Elliot above her head, giving her cousins a dead stare. "And this is Elliot, our resident teleporting child who is sometimes on the ceiling fan."

"To be fair, I don't know how I got there either." Elliot shrugged again. "It was a shock to me, too."

"Who're you talkin' to?" Jaxon leapt off the floor, running over to look at the phone. He grinned, waving.

"Anyways. Disregarding the two kids who are going to be the death of me-" Leo ignored Jaxon's nod at that statement. "Anything happening over there?"

"Your aunt and uncle moved, actually," Kai said. Leo's eyes widened in mild shock. "They dropped a bunch of boxes off at our house. Had your stuff in it."

He looked at Leo for the next part. "No, we did not go through your stuff."

"You guys should think about dropping by." Marcy sat upside down on the couch. "Come pick up your shit so it isn't in our house anymore."

Leo glanced at Logan, who just blinked. "Go visit your cousins, Leo."

With permission from Logan, she nodded. "Yeah, we'll think of a time."

"You should bring your friends along, too," Kai suggested with a smile, and Logan gave her a thumbs up in the corner of her eye. "It'd be nice to meet them in person."

"Yeah, make sure you aren't living with a bunch of serial killers," Marcy helpfully added.

"Nah, one of them is definitely going to off me some day." Leo waved her hand offhandedly in Jaxon's direction. "But yeah, it'll be a good time."

Talking to her cousins again was a lot more comforting than she thought it would be, because typically, she didn't want anything to do with them. She reminded herself that it was because of Emily and Oliver's influence. Not her fault. Not entirely.

Somehow, the others joined in, piling around the twins to talk to her cousins and grandmother, who made the occasional comment. They talked for nearly three hours, and Leo considered it to have been some of the best three hours she had spent in her life.

Being able to go back to Maine and have everyone meet in person would be even better. She was sure of it.

#original work #writing #original characters #writeblr #writers #original content #halfway through the first book #it only gets worse-

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rutilation · 5 years

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Well Cairn, going off established precedent, you have to start by slowly accruing some highly symbolic gemstone prosthetics. Just pretend that this is part seven of jojo and start competing with Phos to see who can obtain the most religiously significant body parts. Whoever has the most by the time the seventh meteor hits wins!

So about this chapter…

The part of this chapter that really merits discussion is one I kind of have trouble parsing—so much so I ended up rewriting this essay a couple times. Neither Cairngorm nor Aechmea are very forthright characters, which means you have to chase after subtext in order to guess at what’s really being communicated, and this chapter seems to really lean into that approach to dialogue. Which is to say, I’m kind of unsure of my interpretation of this chapter. But if I just throw in the towel now out of fear of misinterpreting my favorite problematic rock, then Ichikawa wins, and I can’t let her and her vaguely menacing self-portrait get the better of me.

At the start of the second half of the chapter, Cairn seems quite content, but the longer the (rather one-sided) conversation goes on, the more distressed they become. While it’s not made explicit what’s upsetting them, my take is that Aechmea’s attitude in this scene makes it harder for Cairngorm to manage their cognitive dissonance toward him. I’ve mentioned several times before that a number of things Cairngorm says and does indicate that they realize that Aechmea is shady and perhaps not operating in their best interest, but they don’t want to admit that to themselves. As long as Aechmea remains ambiguous, they can pretend that everything’s fine. I think that Cairn’s steadily increasing dismay over the course of the chapter is because pretty much everything Aechmea says here threatens to clarify those ambiguities, and said ambiguities resolve themselves in a way that Cairn isn’t terribly pleased with. Let’s take it from the top.

First, let’s address the initial stretch of the conversation. Aechmea implies that he doesn’t actually see any value in the gender roles he’s been encouraging Cairn to adopt, seeing them instead as simplistic tools to keep the other Lunarians occupied—mere bread and circuses. But while Cairn may not understand the implications of said gender roles, the fact that they made Cairn feel special and loved was enough to make them invested in the whole concept. So, for Aechmea to imply that it was all an act designed to provide fleeting, cheap entertainment for the other Lunarians probably feels like a slap in the face to Cairn.

In the same breath, he gently tells Cairn that he plans on isolating them in a compound on the most remote of the six moons, and that that’s his idea of granting Cairn freedom. This makes it completely clear that what Cairn said to him in chapter 71 went in one ear and out the other: Cairn wants to finally have agency and can’t abide doing nothing while everyone else is struggling, and Aechmea responds by making a drastic decision about their life without their input, one which will cut them off from the conflict they want to help resolve. As one might expect, Cairn doesn’t seem happy to hear this.

This next section of the conversation in which Aechmea tells them he’s loved them before they came to the moon also follows the pattern of being full of understated subtext that I apparently require two weeks to untangle and draw a conclusion from. It’s seems clear from their distraught expression, trembling, and the fact that they incredulously bring it up again a few minutes later that what Aechmea is saying upsets them. If I had to wager a guess, it’s because the implications are concerning regardless of whether or not Aechmea’s words are true. His claim is ludicrous and Cairn doesn’t want to believe that he’d try to feed them a bald-faced lie, but if he’s not lying then the implications are equally unsettling. I think Cairngorm is most comfortable believing that their meeting with Aechmea was a happy accident, because the alternative is that he was romancing them all while hiding ulterior motives. (Not that it really needs to be reiterated at this point, but these pages make my skin crawl, especially when you look back on Phos’s first day on the moon—with Aechmea trying to butter them up by them by telling them how special they are.)

Anyway, let’s assume for the sake of argument that Aechmea’s statement wasn’t complete bullshit, and that he had some sort of interest in Cairngorm before meeting them. The fact that he kept their old arm indicates that there’s something to what he said, as does the fact that he feels the need to distract Cairn with creepy makeouts when they try and press him for answers on this topic a few pages later. There are a couple of ways I could see it going, so I’m going to go on a tangent for a minute, and try to speculate on what might have piqued Aechmea’s interest in Cairn. I don’t feel that predicting future plot-events is really my forte, but sometimes I can’t resist trying to decipher a good puzzle.

Everyone connected to Phos is of interest to him, including Cairngorm. Several pivotal moments in Phos’s development have happened in front of the Lunarians, (I’m specifically thinking of the drama with Ventricosus and Phos’s gold arms.) It’s quite possible that Aechmea took an interest in the fact that one of the seemingly static gems was rapidly changing, and I think this line in chapter 54 alludes to this. As a result, he predicted that Phos’s path would cross his sooner or later, and didn’t dust their captured partners. I’ve said before that it is really suspicious that he happened to have a “fake” piece of Antarc on his person when Phos got to the moon. Even if it was artificial, there was no reason for him to have it made in the first place or for him to be carting it around unless he already had Phos on the brain. The fact that he apparently kept Cairngorm’s original arm makes me think that that piece of Antarc may not have been artificial at all, and that maybe he didn’t dust Antarc, Ghost, or Phos’s head in order to have some leverage over Phos later.

Another possibility is that he took interest in Ghost and Cairn’s unique condition on account of those mysterious gem experiments that he was running before Phos got to the moon. Since he was apparently trying (and failing) to create new gems by combing pieces of shattered gems with synthetic material, the fact that there was a gem who was a complete person despite being essentially a thin sheet of quartz may have been of interest to them. The main reason I think this might hold some weight is because the Lunarians were rather particular about nabbing Ghost instead of Caringorm in chapter 37. By the end of the fight, Cairn was completely wrecked, and the Lunarians could have easily taken them both before the other gems made it to the vessel. But instead, they pushed Cairn off as soon as they had collected Ghost. To compound this, they don’t usually try to sheer off the gems’ bodies in layers; they just try and shatter them. Which makes me think that they were specifically trying to get Ghost in this scene and leave Cairn behind, and that Aechmea later decided to keep their arm on a whim along with the pieces of Ghost. If this ends up being the case, then that begs the question of how the Lunarians could possibly know that Cairn and Ghost are two separate people; it’s not really something they could observe at a distance, especially since Cairn apparently rarely had control of their body. If this ends up being the route this subplot takes, you guys on team Obsidian-is-a-Lunarian-spy may be able to add this to your pile of evidence.

Following this is the triumphant return of the Highly Symbolic Arm, the importance of which I’ve been harping on for a while now. It’s also at this point in the conversation that Cairn is most visibly distressed. I’m of two minds regarding what this sequence is communicating. They are clearly quite opposed to reattaching their original arm at the expense of their replacement, but it’s not clear which replacement they’re holding onto. It’s possible that this is the same replacement arm they’ve had since their introduction, but it’s also possible that they got rid of that arm the night they came to the moon—it is after all a physical representation of their involvement in Phos/Ghost/Lapis three-ring circus. This page in chapter 69 would seem to imply the latter. That being said, Ichikawa has already established that Cairn’s replacement arm acts finicky whenever it has to be reattached—so it’s also possible that they still have the same arm they did before; the sequence of events is hazy enough that it could be read either way.

Needless to say, the sentiment behind Cairn being almost violently opposed to getting rid of their replacement arm changes significantly depending on whether or not that’s the arm Phos gave up their head to save, or an arm Aechmea gave them when they arrived on the moon. At the moment, I really can’t say one way or another. But I’m pretty sure this isn’t the last we’ve heard of Cairn’s left arm, so for now I’m content to wait and see.

All that being said, I think the emotion behind the action is clear: desperation. Whether that arm is one that Cairn associates with Phos or Aechmea, they are clearly desperate to cling to the connection it represents. Keeping in mind that just about everything Aechmea says in the chapter up to this point drives a wedge between himself and Cairn, I think that in this moment Cairn is forced to grapple with the idea of being truly alone, and out of all the characters, they’re the most ill-equipped to deal with that. I think I touched on this in my essay focused on them, but to reiterate: in spite of their desire for autonomy, Cairn cannot seem to envision themselves outside of another’s shadow. Whether they’re acting like Antarc for Phos or like an anime-waifu for Aechmea, they’re never really acting like themselves—whoever that might be. This is a bit of a tangent, but the way they’ve conceived of themselves in relation to Ghost is also kind of off-putting. They referred to Ghost as their “other self” in chapter 67, and if you’ve gotten the official translation of volume 6, you can see that they also refer to Ghost in similar terms in chapter 38. This has a rather concerning implication about their self-image or lack thereof.

The point is, they find a sense of stability and self-worth in tailoring themselves to the desires of others, and they see reattaching their original arm and discarding the replacement and everything it represents as tantamount to abandoning the (terrible) coping mechanism that’s keeping them somewhat functional.

Which makes this a very ironic moment for them to decide that they want to disappear along with Aechmea. I don’t know a whole lot about Buddhism, but I do know that one is supposed to let go of all attachments in order to attain nirvana. But in this scene, Cairn is conceiving of nirvana as a means to an end in order remain forever attached to Aechmea (and in the short term: relevant enough to his interests to avoid being banished to the farthest moon.)

The way I see it, if and when Cairn becomes enlightened enough to have any hope of disappearing, they’ll probably have grown past the desire to follow Aechmea off a cliff like a lemming in the first place. So I don’t see them getting what they want any time soon. What I am concerned about is the pattern of self-destructive behavior that lies behind this. While reading this chapter, it struck me that whenever Cairn is presented with a stressful or upsetting situation with no obvious solution, their first instinct is to—as Aechmea so succinctly put it—relinquish themselves. When a poor decision on their part ended with Phos losing their head, they wanted to give up their own head. When Phos didn’t wake up, they wanted to throw themselves into the ice floes. When Phos ends up devastated in chapter 67, they want to renounce their own personhood and pretend to be Antarc. This chapter also follows the same pattern: when faced with the upsetting possibility that Aechmea wants to set them aside like a toy he’s grown tired of, Cairn panics and responds with the most self-destructive possible solution to their problem. I think that until this underlying malaise is actually dealt with, they’re just going to keep circling back to the same “solution” over and over. It doesn’t matter so much that Cairn is currently about as enlightened as a cornflake; when the chips are down, they probably won’t let that stop them from essentially trying to kill themselves once again.

Well that was harrowing to write, but with all the melodrama out of the way, let’s delve into the real meat of this chapter.

We know that gems don’t have teeth or tongues, but I’ve also wondered for the longest time…do gems have nostrils? This shot from the anime makes it seem as if Phos does not have nostrils, but it’s hard to tell when everything is so stylized.

Thankfully, best boy Barbata has given us the answer. Here we can see that light is pouring out of the orifices on their heads, but conspicuously, there is no light coming from their noses; ergo, gems don’t have nostrils. No nostrils allowed in fanart from now on you guys, it’s now officially as much of a faux pas as drawing them with pores or teeth.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #sorry this is late #iirc ichikawa once said that she tries to have at least one lighthearted comedic moment per chapter #because a spoonful of sugar helps the horror go down #she sure utilized that technique to its fullest this chapter amiright

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

Text

Kid!MC/Teen!MC Needs someone to go to Parent Teacher Interviews for Them and Guess Who’s Available?

Masterlist

The brothers being bad babysitters/dad figures is something I love very much, I bet you all could already tell that considering the Fic/Headcanon series I have going on. I would just like you all to know that Asmo’s section is based on a true story. Anyhoo~ onto the Headcanons!

Why? Why Him? (Lucifer)

Is MC really dumb, or are they just a kid? No one knows.

Obviously MC asked Lucifer, the only competent one in the house, the most professional, hard-working, controlled-

MC got their things together and gave Lucifer the run down on their teacher(s) before Lucifer got too absorbed in extolling his own virtues in an intense internal monologue.

News flash Lucifer, this isn’t a Shakespeare play, you can’t have a dramatic monologue or soliloquy about how great you think you are

At the actual meeting, if MC is in there, no, MC is not actually in there. Lucifer will speak to the teacher as if MC isn’t there. As someone whose not a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down kind of person, Lucifer expects the teacher to behave the same and not spare MC’s feelings.

Feelings do not deserve to be spared if MC is being a nuisance. No fake-kid/little sibling of his gets to be the class idiot!

If MC’s doing very well academically, he expects to be pointed at projects or tests they’ve done and the grade on it. It really makes him proud to see MC doing well.

Even if they’re not the best academically, if they’re not failing and they’re doing well in other aspects of school, he’s proud.

If MC really struggles in a school environment and just hates it there but they’re still keeping their head above water, they get a head pat of approval.

On the drive home, if MC came with him to the parent teacher interviews and everything went well, he just happens to turn onto the street that has a Baskin Robin’s or something of that caliber.

If they didn’t go, he picks something up on the way back.

No fun treats if MC is being a disruptive little heathen in class, no kid under Lucifer’s care is going to be the class Mammon. Not on his watch.

MC was busily stuffed their face with the treats that were gifted to them. Lucifer had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at the kid’s blatant disregard for basic table manners when it came to sweets.

“Is everything the teacher said true?” Lucifer asked, MC looked up at him with a smile.

“Yep!”

“Good, good.” Lucifer held out his hand and patted them on the head. “You’re doing well. Keep it up.”

“Geez,” MC mumbled as they continued to stuff their face. “Can you get anymore affectionate?”

“Don’t be sarcastic, MC. It’s uncouth.” Lucifer said sternly. “Besides, I’ll have you know that many people enjoy my headpats. I’m quite affectionate.”

“Really now? Name one person.”

Lucifer opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He and MC stared each other down, one pair of eyes much more nervous than the other. Spoiler, MC was still calmly eating their treat as they maintained eye contact.

“…Cerberus.”

“If you’re reaching for Cerberus, you’ve already lost.”

…his pride was under attack. Right in front of his desert…

“You’re grounded.”

“Worth it.”

*Rides by on a Skateboard* School is for NERDS (Mammon)

Pff! Stupid human! He’s not goin’ to some lame parent teacher conference-

Wait! What’s with that face?! Ugh… fine. MC’s gone and forced his hand with those damn puppy dog eyes…

Mammon does not dress up for this event, he dresses like he would every day, maybe throw on some designer stuff to let all the parents and teachers know he’s hot shit.

If MC goes with him, he pulls up in his beloved car and takes up two parking spaces (pure evil.). Every parent present already hates him, but at least the other kids there are impressed with MC’s sweet ride. MC would have gained some street cred if Mammon hadn’t managed to trip up the stairs to the classroom in front of everyone.

He’ll act way to casual with the teacher, turning the parent chair backwards and sitting down so he can lean on the seat.

Mammon gets bored crazy quickly while the teacher lists and explains all the stuff the class is learning, so his eyes begin to wander to any and all displays in the classroom. Projects, annoying posters, class pet, anything is more interesting than this teacher’s explanation.

When MC finally becomes the main topic of the interview, he’s all ears. MC’s doing great in school academically? Ha! Nerd! Maybe giving MC a playful noogie and interrupting the whole interview wasn’t a good idea, but whatever.

If MC’s failing anything, or just isn’t that gifted when it comes to grades, it’s very much a “Aw man me too” from Mammon.

This teacher is speaking with the Great Mammon, the first demon in RAD’s history to fail three semesters in a row. If this teacher thinks bad grades will phase him, they’re dead wrong.

Grades don’t mean anythin’ about smarts anyway! I mean, look at him! He’s a fuckin’ genius but he can’t get through a history test without sobbing even though he LIVED THROUGH MOST OF IT.

MC gets treats no matter what’s up in class. Though, if MC didn’t go with him, he’s likely to forget and just order something for the two of them when he gets back home.

“Goddamn teachers and their rambling!” Mammon whined, grabbing a slice of pizza from the open box on his coffee table. “You owe me, MC! Ya really do!”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” MC said, they leaned over and rolled a pizza slice into a pizza-scroll then proceeded to eat it like a veggie roll. “How do you think I feel, listening to them every day? You know how long it takes to get to the actual class material?”

“Five years?”

“Ugh! Five years if I’m lucky! I swear, I know more about my teacher’s grievances with like… five of my classmates than I do about trigonometry, and guess which one’s on the test next week?”

Mammon winced in sympathy, then remembered he was supposed to be whining and went back to it. “School’s shit and a waste of money, ya should drop out as soon as you can and help me run my new business.”

“You mean your pyramid scheme?”

“It’s not a pyramid scheme, MC! It’s legit! It’s a multi-tiered marketing-”

“It’s a pyramid scheme.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOCIAL INTERACTION (Leviathan)

Everyone else must have been sick or something for MC to have asked Levi. He’d flat out refuse to go otherwise.

So, Levi couldn’t exactly go to the interview in his usual “I haven’t left my room or changed clothes in eight weeks” look. With the help of MC, he was able to find his military uniform at the back of his closet.

Asmo nearly fainted when he saw Levi in the uniform, not because “oooo, a man in uniform~”, it was because the outfit was so crumpled and wrinkled that it made it physically painful to look at. No time to iron and wash, the conference was in an hour!

Levi (and MC if they went with) rolled up to the school in a less than impressive ride, but one look at the uniform and all the other people present went “yep, time to be respectful (tm)”

For the first time in his life Levi was more intimidating than Lucifer! And he wasn’t even trying!

When the teacher starts explaining the course material, Levi spaces off in horror as he realizes he remembers literally nothing from school (AND HE’S STILL IN SCHOOL!) all that’s running through his head is “A squared + B squared = C squared” and “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”.

The actual interview was the least interesting part of the trip, the real stuff happened when Levi passed by some art on display in the hallway and something caught his eye-

Those colours… that hair… that adorable smile..!

IT WAS HER! LEVI’S PRECIOUS RURI-CHAN IN ALL HER GLORY!

Levi immediately started fawning over the art class fanart and by sheer coincidence, one of the kids walking through the hallway happened to notice.

The kid asked MC if their… parent and or guardian liked anime. MC responded with “obviously.” Levi then asked the kid if they drew his adorable Ruri-chan. The kid said no, and that they drew the My Hero Academia fanart a few rows down.

Levi was absolutely floored that there were two anime fans in one class, then his entire world shattered when MC explained there was more anime art inside the art room and other classrooms.

H-hang on… did that mean that… a lot of people here… liked anime..?

Levi needed a while to process. No snacks on the way home…

Levi and MC were sat in the back of their Uber, Levi, the Avatar of Envy himself, was having his entire sense of reality warped. S-so much anime fanart… in a school of all places..! What did this mean for the future of anime?!

“Levi. Stop.” MC sighed. “If this were an anime, the camera angle would be doing that thing where it’s right on the bridge of your nose and dramatic music plays in the background.”

“S-so many kids in your class like a-anime huh..?” Levi stuttered, weakly trying to smile. “Must be nice..?”

“Oh, that’s just my class. The other classes and grades have their fans too.”

“Oh… really?”

“Levi,” MC stopped looking out the window and looked at the otaku that was having a full scale silent mental breakdown. “Anime isn’t even a niche interest anymore. It’s a pretty casual thing to watch now. At least a third of my class watches- Levi?”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH! ANIME! A THIRD OF THE CLASS?! ANIME… HIS PRECIOUS ANIME… WAS BECOMING A NORMIE INTEREST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

“Levi?” MC waved their hand in front of their spaced out demon’s face. “Leviiiii? Okay he’s dead.”

The Know it All (Satan)

Ah, a smart choice, MC. Satan would be glad to help further their education. He’ll do everything in his power to make sure that the human’s brain is fed all that sweet sweet knowledge.

Satan can’t dress himself normally, MC had to coax him into a suit jacket, but he still only wore one sleeve.

MC was coming along to the interviews whether they wanted to or not, it’s important to hear what they need to improve on from the teacher themselves after all.

The two arrived pretty early, so Satan asked MC for a tour of the school. It was pretty tame until they reached the library. Satan was horrified at the state of some of the books…

Their spines lined with duct tape… pages missing and torn… someone apparently used a taco as a book mark…

The first thing Satan does when it’s time for his interview is demand the teacher take better care of the library, even though they’re not the librarian. MC tries to explain this, but Satan is too distraught to listen to reason.

He enjoyed hearing about the course material, but he made it known if MC thinks the assignments are too easy that they need to be given more challenging work. THEIR BRAIN NEEDS TO BE STIMULATED DAMN IT.

It was up to MC to either agree with Satan and nod to the teacher, or make frantic eye contact with them to try and communicate “NO DON’T PLEASE”.

Similar to (ugh) Lucifer, as long as MC is doing their best, he’s happy for them.

…but if they are in any way in the running for valedictorian he is HELPING THEM WIN.

He decided to stop at a cafe or bookstore to let MC pick out a “congrats on surviving your pitiful school” present after the interviews.

MC gleefully perused the shelves of the bookstore, there were so many books too look at…

“I’ll buy you as many books as you’d like, MC, just,” Satan shuddered slightly. “Promise me you won’t treat them like those poor library books…”

MC put their hand over their heart. “I swear on the duct taped book spines that I will never treat a book like that.”

“Good… good…” Satan breathed a sigh of relief and went back to looking at his book about cats.

“Are you… reading a Warrior Cats book..?” MC asked tentatively.

“Yes, why?”

“Satan, put that back.”

“I Will Seduce the Teacher For the Sake of Your Grades, Don’t Worry.” (Asmodeus)

Oh MC dear! He’d be delighted to go! Just let him get ready~

Asmo may not be the best choice, but he was at least going to be the best dressed person at that conference. (And MC just had to come too so all the other parents could be jealous of how well coordinated their outfits are)

He teased MC a little by saying he was going to flirt with their teacher to make sure they passed the class, but he was just kidding! …but he made sure to ask if their teacher was cute, he needed to know!

While waiting for his turn, Asmo flirts with some of the single parents, if he doesn’t see a wedding ring, they’re fair game.

Once his time slot arrived, MC realized that Asmo is one of those “my child has done and will do nothing wrong ever” types. This may have ended up working in MC’s favour if they were a class nuisance.

If MC is doing very well in sports, clubs, grades, anything, Asmo is fawning over them and gushing to the teacher about how great, smart and adorable they are.

Asmo surprisingly does not exactly flirt with the teacher, he was just teasing MC after all. But um… if MC’s teacher just happens to be cute and young, he may turn up the charm, just a little. Enough to make the teacher giggle and make MC cover their face in embarrassment.

After the interviews Asmo will probably schedule a nice day out for the two of them, shopping, a movie, mani pedis, something fun!

The real weird stuff happens in the months after the interviews… if Asmo did lightly flirt with the teacher, MC gets quite a few questions about their guardian. Questions that ask if Asmo is single in not as many words…

Oh lord, MC’s teacher developed a crush on Asmo.

Nail painting night was supposed to be a fun occasion, but MC was hopping mad and embarrassed. Asmo didn’t seem to notice as he continued to paint the little human’s nails.

“And then I told Phenex to get lost. The nerve of that little monster, right MC?” When MC didn’t reply, Asmo looked up and tilted his head. “MC?”

MC’s angry face would have been much more threatening if they weren’t just so adorable, but it was getting the message across.

“MC..?”

“Asmo.” MC’s glare deepened. “My teacher wants to know if you’re single.”

Asmo blinked a few times, before he hit his tongue to keep from laughing. “Really now~. I knew they’d be madly in love with me-”

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIS?!”

Oh My Demon King is That a BAKE SALE?! (Beel)

Of course Beel said yes! He’d gladly go to MC’s parent teacher interview!

He even put on a nice outfit :D he ended up looking a bit like a secret serviceman guarding MC, the tiny president.

Beel stopped for McDonald’s on the way there, all the other kids were so jealous of MC when they stepped out of the car eating fries.

But a little something something caught Beel’s eye when he and MC walked into the school… was that a… bake sale?

MC quickly explained that the bake sale was fundraiser for their class trip that year and the snacks weren’t complimentary. He had to pay.

And pay Beel did. He cleared out the entire table. MC’s grade’s overnight trip was going to be decadent as hell. That was no longer a crowd funded thing, that trip was privately funded by a tall buff ginger secret service member and this tiny in comparison child.

Kids are incredibly blunt, just like Beel, so when a random kindergarten kid wandered over, looked up at Beel, and very knowingly said “you’re very tall”. Beel was like “yeah”. The kid then said “what’s it like being that tall?”

Beel’s response to this kid’s question was to pick them up and hold them for a few seconds before placing them back down. For just a few moments this kid knew what it like to be over 6’4. Of course, more kids swarmed in and asked to be picked up.

Sure it was cute, but Beel now has an army of kids ranging from kindergarteners to third graders.

Finally, the conference actually began. Beel snacked the entire time and dutifully listened to everything the teacher had to say.

After the interviews are over, he checks with MC to make sure everything the teacher said was true and that they weren’t lying. If all was well, the two made their exit.

They stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.

“I’m so full…” MC groaned, Beel held up a massive cookie.

“So I can eat this?”

“No. Gimme that.” MC took a very defeated bite out of it. “My stomach says no but my mouth says yes…”

“I don’t want you to get a stomachache, MC,” Beel said worriedly. “No more snacks.”

“It’s a little late for that. It’s past nine and I’m still eating, there’s no way I’m getting to sleep at a reasonable hour.”

“Oh…” Beel mumbled. “I may have not completely thought this through.”

“*Snore* Huh? Wha? MC’s Grades? Uh… Fuck…” (Belphie)

MC must be failing a class or something because why on earth would they pick Belphie otherwise.

They ask him to go while he’s delirious from just waking up from a nap, he sort of half nods and mumbles some gibberish before going back to sleep.

MC had to basically carry his ass to the school. Belphie drooled all over them in the waiting room, and when it was their time to go into the interview, Belphie had to be manually put into the chair and slapped awake.

He barely listens, he just sits and nods along with whatever the teacher is saying. The teacher could say MC brought an alligator to school and he’d just go “uh huh…” “mmmph… yep…” “really now?” then yawn.

The only thing that could possibly get Belphie to be interested is if MC is studying space. If they are, than boy howdy is Belphie suddenly interested in their education.

Other than that? *snore*

If MC is in fact failing or doing poorly, MC’s teacher asks to see another one of MC’s guardians at a later date. Their plan failed miserably.

MC drags Belphie out of the school and yells at him for not helping them. Belphie, still sleep delirious, tries to press the snooze button. MC does not have a snooze button.

“Belphie!” MC shouted, shaking the Avatar of Sloth awake. The House of Lamentation’s resident bastard was somehow sleeping standing up outside. “HOW COULD YOU?!”

“Eh?” Belphie half-snorted and looked around confused. “What’d I do? Where are we?”

“At my school! You said that you’d go to my parent teacher interviews!”

“…MC I don’t think I’d pass well for you.”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO AS MY GUARDIAN!”

“Sheesh,” Belphie murmured while he rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes. “You humans are so noisy.”

MC looked up at their dearest demon friend, and gave him their best glare. “I’m going to take all your fancy temperature changing pillows and switch them with normal pillows you traitorous bastard.”

805 notes · View notes

fruitcoops · 3 years

Text

Cake Off

Happy birthday, Finn O'Hara! Here's to hoping all your wishes come true <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Marlene waved to the camera as she wove a small whisk into her bun; behind her, five young men sat in front of a well-lit industrial kitchen. “Hello, Lions, and welcome back to Lion Pride! I’m your host, Marlene McKinnon, and we’re here today to celebrate someone we all love very much.”

“Some more than others,” Leo corrected.

“Today is Finn O’Hara’s 25thbirthday,” Marlene continued. “And my gift to him was letting him pick what our next video was going to be. Being the agent of chaos we know and love, he chose to force his friends to make him birthday cakes. Cap, Knutty, I know you two are feeling pretty confident about this. Tremzy, Kasey, and Loops, how are we feeling today?”

Logan’s expression was rather pained. “Can I apologize in advance?”

“I have…a history with ovens,” Kasey said carefully. “Kind of like Britain’s history with the rest of the world, except I’m the rest of the world and the oven wins nine times out of ten.”

“I don’t bake,” Remus sighed. “This is going to be an adventure. Can I leave if I already got him a present?”

“Nope!” Marlene chirped. “To your stations, everyone!”

The five of them trooped to the countertops, which had been covered with a colorful assortment of baking supplies; Logan’s smile grew even more nervous. “Is there a guidebook, or something?”

Marlene ruffled his hair as she passed. “Where’s the fun in that? You have two hours to make a unique birthday cake. On your marks—”

Kasey went pale. “Wait—”

“—get set—”

“Marlene, please,” Remus begged.

“—go!”

“Oh my god,” Logan muttered. “Uh, I don’t have a recipe.”

Marlene’s grin was wicked. “That’s the extra bonus fun.”

Leo paused from where he was measuring flour into a sifter and raised his hand. “Finn’s not actually tasting everyone’s cakes, right? ‘Cause making him sick on his birthday seems a bit mean.”

“He only has to try one bite of each,” Marlene assured him as she stopped by Sirius’ station, where he was gathering his ingredients in a line. “Cap, what are you making today?”

“Vanilla with chocolate frosting. I know the recipe by heart, but I only make it when I’m stressed.” A furrow appeared between his brows before he straightened up and raised his voice. “Hey, someone stress me out!”

“Playoffs!” Kasey shouted from across the room. All five men immediately hurried to knock on the wooden cabinets.

“Thanks!” Sirius gave him a thumbs-up and Kasey winked.

“And somebody won’t be sleeping tonight,” Remus muttered, flicking sugar at Kasey. “Thanks, Bliz.”

Logan was still bracing himself against the countertop when Marlene arrived at his table. “How’re you feeling, Tremz? I see you haven’t chosen any ingredients.”

“There’s a very fine line between making your boyfriend a birthday cake and poisoning him,” Logan said after a moment. “And I think I’m about to find out where it is.”

“What are you making?”

“I don’t know yet. Whatever happens, happens.”

“Fair enough,” Marlene laughed as she moved on. “Leo?”

“I’m gonna make a lemon cake,” he said with a proud smile as he mixed the dry ingredients. “And it’s going to be delicious.”

“Do you bake at home very often? You sound confident.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “For special occasions, yeah. I vaguely know what I’m doing, so I feel pretty good.”

“How do you think Logan’s cake will turn out?”

Leo paused and glanced up. A beat of silence passed before he bit his lower lip. “I think it’s a really good thing that Finn has two boyfriends that are making him cakes.”

“Rude,” Logan grumbled as he dumped another cupful of flour into a bowl to Sirius’ obvious horror. He stuck his tongue out. “Don’t give me that look, Cap, this cake is going to be fucking amazing.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows and turned back to his own batter. “If you say so.”

Logan stood on his toes and poured the next cup directly over Sirius’ head in a poof of white. The studio went silent. With a cough, a bit of flour puffed from Sirius’ mouth. “Cap?” Kasey ventured.

“Hmm?”

“You okay?”

“Mhmm.” He slowly took a towel off the oven door and wiped his face with it, then whipped around and snapped it at Logan’s thigh—it connected with a sharp sound, followed by a yelp as Logan shoved Leo in front of him as a makeshift shield. “You can’t hide behind him forever!”

“Remember, you only have two hours!” Marlene called as she dodged a patch of flour on the floor. Sirius scowled and put the towel back down on the counter; Logan backed away to his station with a suspicious glare. “Loops, how are you?”

“I’m minding my own business,” he said innocently. “Staying in my lane. Paying no attention to the idiots behind the curtain, if you will.”

“Impressive. What are you making for our wonderful Harzy?”

“Spite cake.”

“What?”

“Spite cake,” he repeated with a shadow of a smile. “It’s carrot cake, but with no special ingredient of love or appreciation, because he knows how much I hate baking and he’s been making fun of me over text all morning.”

Leo frowned. “Weren’t you two bonding over how much you hate carrot cake when we went to lunch yesterday?”

“Hence the name,” Remus said as he pulled a cheese grater out of the lineup.

“And last, but certainly not least, Kasey.” Marlene leaned against the edge of his table. “How’s it going over here?”

“So far, so good.” He eyed his batter and poked one of the lumps with a fork. “Does this look ready to you?”

“Seems a bit wet, to be honest.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Do people put milk in cake batter?” On the other end of the kitchen, Sirius and Leo shared a look.

Marlene patted his arm. “Good luck, Bliz.”

The camera cut for a moment—when it returned, the three bakers on the far end seemed to be even more flustered than before. “You have one hour left!” someone off-screen announced.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Logan held his spatula up. The batter remained stuck to it in a doughy lump. “Is this supposed to happen?”

Leo’s eyes flickered between Sirius, who was clearly shocked into silence, and Logan, who was growing more distressed by the second. “Sure, honey.”

“Baby, it looks like jello,” Remus called as he shook his mixing bowl with a nervous glance to Sirius. “Why does it look like jello?”

“Mon dieu,” Sirius muttered as he crossed the room; the second he looked over Remus’ shoulder, his eyes widened. “How did you…?”

“I don’t know.”

“You put flour in, right?”

“Hey, no helping!” Kasey protested, swatting Sirius on the shoulder with an oven mitt. “We all fail on our own merit here. Tremy’s making concrete, Loops has jello, and I’ve got soup, so you and Knutty can fuck off back to your perfect batter and let us suffer in peace!”

“Jesus, Bliz, did you put water in that?”

“No! I put butter and milk in!”

“Why?”

“Because!”

“One hour left!” Marlene shouted.

“Fuck it, it’s good enough.” Remus grabbed the nearest cake pan and dumped his batter in, then put it in the oven. He turned the heat on and faced the camera guiltily. “Harzy, I know this was meant to spite you, it really was just meant to be a carrot cake. Not…that.”

Logan sprinkled a handful of chocolate sprinkled into his mixing bowl. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he singsonged. “But I know I’m doing it poorly!”

“Oh my god,” Remus said suddenly as he licked some of his batter off his finger. “Oh my—oh my god.”

Kasey looked up from pouring his batter into a pan in mild alarm. “What?”

“Oh my god, that’s terrible. Here, try it.”

Kasey put his cake in the oven before swiping a bit off and tasting it. His whole face scrunched. “What?”

“I know,” Remus laughed, passing the spatula to Logan. “It’s like getting punched with a cinnamon stick.”

“I can feel it in my nose,” Logan coughed. “Here, try mine.”

Leo regarded them with a healthy amount of disbelief. “Why are you all tasting it if you know it’s bad?”

“Because Marlene needs workable content.”

“Do it for the vine.”

“Because I’m a dumbass, rookie.” Kasey lifted the spatula up. “Cap, your fiancé made toxic sludge in cake form. Want some?”

Sirius hesitated, then sighed and headed over. Leo threw his hands in that air. “You, too?”

“What else am I supposed to—” Sirius faltered with a harsh exhale and braced his hands against the counter, licking his lips. “How many eggs did you put in that?”

“Four? Five?”

“How much cinnamon?”

“A teaspoon?”

Sirius took a fortifying breath through his nose. “Teaspoon or tablespoon?”

“Tablespoon,” Kasey answered for him. “Definitely a tablespoon. Try mine.”

“You two are never allowed in a kitchen again,” Sirius said, though he swiped his finger along the inside of Kasey’s bowl and tasted his batter with a grimace. “Ugh. It’s just melted butter.”

“How did you make it taste like salty butter and nothing else?” Logan asked, sounding genuinely interested.

“Well, Tremzy, I put salt and butter in it.”

Leo’s phone timer went off and he opened the oven door; four faces turned toward him in shock as he pulled a golden cake out and checked the center with a toothpick. Logan closed his eyes and bent closer, taking a deep inhale. “I wish the viewers could smell this, because it’s heaven.”

“Can it be my birthday instead?” Kasey asked. “Please?”

“Get back, you hyenas!” Leo whacked him lightly on the hand with a spoon when he reached out to poke the cake. “That oven was 350 degrees!”

Sirius glanced up at the camera. “That’s 177 degrees, for all you smart people out there.”

“Boo, Celsius.” Remus kissed his cheek. “You smell like sugar.”

“How much time do you all have left on your cakes?” Marlene asked from her perch next to the sink.

Logan, Remus, and Kasey shared a look before Logan turned back to her. “I don’t know?”

“You can’t answer that with another question,” she laughed.

“Ten minutes,” he guessed.

“Whenever it starts to smell good,” Remus said. “Though I doubt that’s going to happen.”

Kasey cocked his head and scanned Leo’s cake for a second. “When it starts looking like that.”

“It won’t,” Leo informed him.

“Damn, Knutty, okay.”

Marlene shook her head. “We’re going to cut filming until everyone’s cakes are out of the oven, but in the meantime we’ve got some special messages for our favorite redhead.”

A banner reading Happy Birthday, Finn! appeared on the screen with a burst of confetti before the usual studio replaced it, with its white walls and folding chairs. Dumo crossed one leg over the other with a soft smile. “One thing I admire about Finn is his tenacity. When he wants something, he’ll go for it with his whole heart.”

“I love his humor,” Leo said in the next short video. He was smiling as well, and had a faint blush on his freckled cheeks. “And the way he makes breakfast in the mornings. All the little things he does to make the people he loves happy. And he really does love with his whole heart. There’s no holding back with him.”

“Finn?” Sirius thought for a moment. “He’s a good person. I know that might sound lame, but he’s one of those people that you meet that always makes you feel happy, and confident, and supported. Anyone who meets him should count themselves lucky.”

Logan’s face was filled with nothing but affection. “I love his patience and his kindness. Whether that was helping me work on my English in college, or making the rookies feel welcome, or even the way he talks to complete strangers when they ask for directions on the street. Everything about him is kind.”

“Ah, jeez.” Remus bit his lower lip. “I think—I think what I admire most about Finn is that he never lets anyone else define who he is. He’s comfortable in himself and makes everyone around him feel safe. It’s sappy, but it’s true. He’s one of my best friends and I’m grateful for him every day.”

“He’s one of the most reliable people I’ve ever met,” James said. “Both on and off the ice. He will be there to support his friends in any capacity and I think we all need to be a little more like Finn that way.”

“Great player.” Arthur nodded. “Great player, and an even better teammate. I can put O’Hara anywhere on the ice and he’ll throw everything he’s got into doing his best. I can’t think of a single Lion who doesn’t love being on the same shift as him.”

Talker grinned, leaning back in his chair with a shake of his head. “Finn just loves hockey. He takes it seriously, of course, but he loves being out there with us and I’m always happy when we’re on a line together. He goes out there every night and has a blast. I admire a lot about him, but especially that.”

“It’s hard to pick one specific thing that I admire about him,” Kasey said, shifting in his chair. “He’s Finn. He’s annoying as all hell, and I love him for it. I’m not sure. Can I make a list?”

“Harzy is very cool,” Olli laughed. “Very cool and very fun to be around. He has a quick wit and truly cares about all of us.”

Kuny raised his eyebrows. “What I like about Harzy? Oh, everything. Everything. He is good friend, good teammate, always there when we need him. Good for Tremzy and Knutty, too. He would turn red like fire engine if he heard me. Don’t tell him I say that.”

The video changed to a wide view of the whole team as they waved to the camera. “Happy birthday, Harzy!” they chorused. “Bitch ass moves!”

The kitchen was much cleaner when the video resumed; all the cooking supplies had been taken away, leaving five hockey players with their cakes in front of them. Leo’s cake was a bit lopsided, though the yellow frosting was cheerful and even—next to him, Logan’s cake looked more like a squished loaf of bread. Sirius’ was plain and elegant, while Kasey’s frosting was still dripping as the camera zoomed in on it.

“Wow,” Finn said after a moment of silence from his seat at the main table, where five slices of cake had been placed on small plates with a label for each name. “Just…wow.”

“You can start with whichever one you want,” Marlene told him.

“I think I’ll save Cap and Leo’s for last. Uh, Kase, what happened here?”

Kasey sighed. “I wish I knew.”

Finn gave it a wary look, then took a bite; his chewing slowed to a stop almost immediately and Logan’s shoulders started to shake from his suppressed laughter. “You know it’s burnt on the outside and not cooked on the inside, right?”

“Yeah.”

��Just checking.” With great effort, he swallowed. “Why is it wet?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, man.”

Finn took the next plate, then paused. “Re, I love you, but…”

Remus shook his head. “I know.”

“I’m genuinely afraid to try this.”

“You should be.”

The second it touched his tongue, Finn started laughing. “Jesus, it’s a straight shot of cinnamon. Why is it crunchy?”

“It’s carrot cake!”

“You know I hate carrot cake!”

“Look, I gave it my best shot. It really wasn’t supposed to do…” He gestured at the plate. “That.”

“Lo, baby, please tell me yours is better than the last two.”

Logan thought for a moment. “It was made with love and that’s all that matters.”

Finn took a deep breath before taking a bite. A range of emotions washed over his face—pleasant surprise, then confusion, then horror, and finally disbelief. “I…what?”

“I don’t even know.”

He swallowed, then ate another bite. “Oh, bad idea. This—are there chocolate chips in here? And almonds?”

“Yeah. You like those, right?”

“Usually, yes. It’s kind of got the texture of fruitcake, but—” Finn broke off and picked the slice up, giving it a shake. Not even a crumb fell out of place, and the rest of the boys burst out laughing. “Lo. Logan. Light of my life, what the fuck?”

“Happy birthday?”

“This is the best birthday present ever. Alright, Cap, your turn.” He took a piece of Sirius’ cake and nodded. “Yep, that’s cake.”

Sirius blinked at him. “And?”

Finn shrugged. “It’s cake. Classic flavors, good texture. I like it. Definitely tastes like a cake you would make.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“He’s calling you basic,” Kasey said, patting Sirius’ shoulder sympathetically. “But hey, at least yours was cooked all the way.”

“And now for boyfriend number two,” Finn continued.

Leo rolled his eyes. “Boyfriend number two.”

“Oh, that’s so good,” Finn groaned around a mouthful of cake. His eyebrows pitched. “I love it.”

“What about it?” Marlene prompted.

“For starters, it’s cooked all the way through. The lemon is freakin’ amazing, and the frosting isn’t melting off the sides or anything. I can’t even taste everyone else’s anymore. It’s a helluva cake. Happy birthday to me. Will you make this every day?”

“No,” Leo said, though there was a pleased flush on his face. “But maybe on the weekend.”

Finn scraped the last of the crumbs off his plate. “Alright, everyone, come get a piece of this magic. Thank you for doing this, by the way. I know three of you hate baking.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Logan admitted as he settled himself on one of Finn’s thighs with a slice of his own and kissed his temple. “Sorry for almost poisoning you. Oh, that is tasty.”

“I love you anyway. I think Loops and Bliz were actually the closest to doing that, so you’re all good.” Finn raised his eyebrows and craned his neck over Logan’s shoulder. “Speaking of…”

“Lasagna or chicken piccata?” Remus asked. Sirius took advantage of his moment of distraction by stealing a bite off his plate and received a playful glare in response, though it was soothed by a kiss on his cheek.

“Lasagna, please.”

“Does Friday work?”

Finn gave him a thumbs-up. “Sorry, Harzy,” Kasey said as he carefully got the last bits of frosting off his fork. “I have no marketable skills to apologize with. You don’t want me anywhere near a stove or an oven.”

A gleam lit in Finn’s eye. “Will you get in all your pads and play chicken with Knutty and I?”

“For the twentieth time—”

“It’s my birthday,” he wheedled, pouting his lower lip out with the Bambi eyes turned to full blast.

Kasey sighed. “Fine.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Thanks for joining us for our birthday celebration,” Marlene said with a smile. “The best estimations of these recipes are linked on our website, with a few tweaks to make sure none of your loved ones get food poisoning this August. Have a great day, Lions!”

#finn ohara #leo knut #logan tremblay #kasey winter #sirius black #remus lupin #marlene mckinnon #sweater weather #vaincre #my fic #fanfic #finn's birthday #coops #o'knutzy #social media #lion pride #birthday cake

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shadyteacup · 3 years

Text

Buttler au

Chuuya and Dazai as your butlers!

Fluff? A bit of scary(?)(yandere?) stuff at the end.. yeah, idk anymore... Inspired by this

Buttler au

“Master, how would you like your tea today?”

Your butler, Dazai asked as he presented you with three cups of steaming hot tea.

“Would you like to have it sweet, like you do when you’re happy, sugar less, when you are feeling tired, or with honey, like how you prefer on a rainy day?”

You smiled fondly at your butler.

“I can’t believe you remember all that”, you mused.

Dazai smiled with his pretty eyes closed, bowing slightly.

“Why, that’s my job, my lady. Caring for you, loving you, is all a part of my job.”

Your breath hitched at his subtle mention of his love for you. He truly was a work of art. If you didn’t keep an eye on him, he would surely find a way to make you submit to him. He was caring, but also very cunning.

“Oi! You’re crossing the line here! That’s not how you talk to our master!”

You were glad to have you fiery haired butler by your side. While his love for you was a little overbearing, his loyalty could never be questioned. He keeps your other, rather wild butler, in check.

“Ara? I can hear Chuuya’s voice, but he’s nowhere to be seen.”

Dazai said, placing the tray down and placing a gloved hand on his chin in mock wonder.

“Haah?! I’m right here, you idiot!”

Chuuya seethed.

Dazai made a show of bending down to Chuuya’s height and smiling coyly.

“Ah! There you are! Sorry for ignoring you; I didn’t mean to.”

Chuuya sighed, forgiving Dazai, until he heard the next words that spilled from the brunets lips.

“You were too short to fit in my line of sight.”

Chuuya was practically fuming now, prepping his dominant arm to punch Dazai.

“Silence. I like my mornings quiet. Haven’t I made that clear already?”

You said, breaking their fight and flicking your palm in the air.

“Honey. It looks like it’s about to rain today.”

Dazai bowed, “Yes, my lady.”

He promptly placed a cup and saucer in your hands. Chuuya placed a plate of biscuits, your favourites, on the side table. He held up a tiny spoon rest, waiting patiently for you to finish mixing the honey with the teaspoon.

“What is my schedule?”

“You are to visit the Duke today, at around three, for a practise dance.”, Dazai said as he moved about the tea room, adjusting tiny things and placing them in their rightful place.

You stirred your tea, and placed the spoon in the spoon rest, allowing Chuuya to move about too, and help Dazai in doing whatever the hell he was doing.

“The Duke?”, you asked, gaze set on the large window in front of you. The garden needed some more roses, you noted.

“Unfortunately.”, Chuuya replied.

You made a grossed out look, scrunching up your nose.

“Now, now, my lady, that look doesn’t suit royalty!”

Dazai fussed.

“Tch. Let me be.”

You said, “I can’t believe I have to go to a ball with him. Is it absolutely necessary for me to attend?”

“Is the Duke that annoying?”

Chuuya asked.

“Yes! He is set on wooing me, and it’s frustrating, because I have no interest in such a stupid, unintelligent, horse-faced oaf!”

You exclaimed, sighing at your own outburst and laying your head on your fist.

The butlers smiled fondly at your back, and unbeknownst to you, they had already figured out a way to rid off of the irritating Duke.

“Well, he is a necessary pawn in your plan, isn’t he?”

Chuuya asked.

“Yes. Unfortunately. We need his social circle to accept our company and spread word about us, to grow its branches. He has contacts, that if used properly, could help us expand overseas.”

You pouted angrily, huffing.

“Well then, once we’re done with him, you can get rid of him.”

Dazai quipped.

“Hmm. I don’t need to see that horse face ever again if we achieve our goal. Then i’ll burn all his old letters and his new ones will be fed to the horses.”

You smirked at the thought.

Dazai and Chuuya shared a glance, communicating without uttering a word.

‘We’ll get rid of him, forever.’, they thought.

“What about your lover, my lady?”

Chuuya asked.

“You are of age, and suitors are dying to meet you.”

You, sighed.

“I don’t know yet. If I find someone amusing, funny, quirky and smart, maybe tall and handsome, then I’d think about it.”

Dazai’s eyes darkened.

“But all the idiots out there are such irritating rats. I don’t think I’d find anyone anytime soon.”

Chuuya glanced over at Dazai, and watched with horror as Dazai smirked darkly.

Dazai was going to ensure you never found anyone worthwhile. You were his, after all. He can’t let some random idiot claim you. No way. Unbeknownst to you or Chuuya, he had been working on a little project. A secret project. One that involves disposing off possible suitors, and getting away with it.

Chuuya had an idea of what his fellow butler was upto. He hadn’t let let Dazai know yet, but Chuuya had caught him throwing the body of a young prince in the river a while back. It was wrong and unethical of him, but a sick part of Chuuya wanted you to never find anyone. Because he wanted you for himself. When the time comes, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill Dazai and claim you. So he let Dazai do all the legwork, pretending to be unaware of his secret.

Because you will be his. No matter what.

Tagging: @anarchy-black-cat @707xn @evalynanne @b-i-t-t-i-e-s @kuraxmasha @syynnaaah @roserosie05 @mikasa-stan-account @alittlesimp @greenshirtimagines @paradise-creator @kiyokoxd @ranposlover @the-foreigner @sakikoshi@h3xa413a @sukunas-cult-leader @ilOvedaydreaming @del1111 @craftypeachmoneyhound @notquitehereorthere @mikasa-stan-account @kenmasbbygrl @alphaofdarkness @duhsies @cees-sims @the-foreigner @uglapuglamuglafugla @sugarandsoft @jadegreenimmortality @flanelsantito @shiny84244 @one-hell-of-otaku-is-here@missrown @requiem626k @sukunas-cult-leader @ilovedaydreaming @roserosie05 @mikasa-stan@ukiyoo0430 @boineko

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murphslass · 3 years

Text

Nervous Much Pt.4

Pt.1 > Pt.2 >> Pt.3

Warnings: fluff, romance, smut, daddy kink

A couple weeks had passed of your relationship with Negan. He was so sweet and took you on lots of dates. He also was big on PDA wherever you guys were out. Admittedly you felt nervous when he would do things so publicly with no hesitation but soon grew fond of it. However, you guys didn’t have sex yet. Mostly because everytime you two had gotten close to it, something came up. One time you were interrupted by coworkers in the back room. Another was when your mom had called during foreplay at your house. Either way it was frustrating and you were more upset with it then Negan was. Currently you were out with him at a restaurant eating dinner. He saw you were grumpy and tried to cheer you up.

“So tomorrow I know we both get a couple nights off from the bar. And I was wondering if you’d be up for a little sleepover.”

“What are we five?”

You laugh and Negan just says a sarcastic remark.

“I’m being serious. I want to host us a beautiful night together.”

“Oh yeah? Tell me what shall the host have in store?”

“Well, I was hoping to watch some random horror movie, provide some delicious snacks, and get close under the stars.”

“Wow that does sound like a lovely night.”

He smiles and goes on about how he’s gonna show you a great time and how it’s something you’ll never forget. You both finished your lunch and let Negan lead you back to his bike. He took you home and continued being cocky.

“Trust me baby. I’m gonna blow that pretty little mind of yours.”

“I’m counting on it.”

You wink at him before being pulled into a deep kiss. His hands holding your body close and his beard scratching your skin lightly. You couldn’t get enough of him especially when he was kissing you. His touch had you addicted.

“I’ll be seeing you tonight. Were something comfortable.”

“You’ve got it.”

You say as you walk into your home and hear Negan’s bike pull out of the driveway. You couldn’t stop smiling and felt excited for the night Negan had planned. You prepared yourself with a cozy nap in hopes not to fall asleep early and wore comfortable pajamas with a surprise underneath. This might be the night that you finally go all the way. You shook away your nerves as Negan picked you up in his Chevy Corvette. It was an extremely beautiful car and different to see him from his bike. He talked about his car before but he mentioned that it was only driven rarely. It made you feel special when you saw he wanted you to ride in it. He even showed off a bit as the road was clear and he sped up. You giggled as you watched Negan get excited like he was a kid. Soon he pulled into his studio apartment and you enjoyed how nice he kept the place. Everything was vintage styled yet gave a modern feel to it. His color scheme was just like his hair, black and gray. You admired the window and the spiral staircase. It was super nice and really fitted Negan’s style.

“Your place is amazing! I can’t believe we haven’t come here.”

“Well my place was actually super fucking messy and I needed to clean up.”

“Well I appreciate that.”

You say as Negan approached you and held both your hands.

“Does my girl care for something to drink? I’ve

got soda, water, juice, or if ya feeling like coffee I could brew some.”

“Just a soda is fine.”

“Coming right up!”

He says as he makes his way toward his kitchen. You walk over to admire the view from the window and saw the lights of the city. It was so nice to see. You felt him behind you and see him place your drink on the dining table. His arms go around your waist and kissed behind your ear. At first he was playful and left quick pecks but he picked a certain spot and slowly began nibbling. You moan and his arms pull you flush against him.

“You’re more breathtaking than the view.”

He whispered between kisses and left marks on you. You turn towards him and got pinned against the cold glass. His lips find yours and you moan against him. His hands felt over your body and paid most attention toward your curves, your hands held onto his shoulders as he began to grow rougher. You felt him tugging at the material of your shirt and pull away to rip it off your body. He does the same with his shirt and throws it on the ground. His lips hungrily kisses down your neck and your leg being pulled to his hip. You bit your lip as he leaned down to pull away your bra and suck onto your nipples. Your head rested against the window as your hands go to his hair.

“I have to have you Y/N. Right now.”

He said in a growl as reached remove your shorts. You didn’t respond as you kicked off the restricting clothes. Negan smirked down to see your cute panties.

“Ooh look at that, you wear these just for me baby?”

“Maybe…”

You whispered as he teased your panty line with his finger tips. He flashed a cocky smile as your hips moved to try and get him to touch you more. His fingers slidding down into your panties and you whimper as he massages your aching clit.

“Damn it’s like a fucking ocean down there.”

“I can’t help it. You feel so good.”

He continues and goes to tease your entrance, he enjoyed hearing your voice as he touches you. His fingers speed up making you feel stimulation. Your hand going to grab onto his wrist. He moaned at your arousal and pulled away to loosen his tight pants. You look down to see the large buldge against his dark boxers. You reached to push down and saw the soft dark curls against his pelvis. His cock sprung out of his boxers and you could see the tip was flush red with desire.

“Hold on tight baby.”

He said as he lifted you and wrapped your legs onto his hips. Your hands held onto his shoulders and one arm held your waist and the other shoving your underwear to the side and slip into you. Both of you moaned out at the feel of each other. His breath ragged as he gazed at your flushed face.

“Oh shit baby. You feel better than I imagined.”

He smirked as he began thrusting into you. You quiver at the pleasure that shot through your body. He pressed you firmly against the glass and moved his hips harshly. Your arms clung onto his body and you couldn’t help the noises escaping you.

“Fuck yeah baby, keep on letting me know how good my cock feels.”

He growled against your neck and his grip held you close as he went deeper.

“Negan, it feels so good. Don’t stop please don’t stop.”

He let out a breathy chuckle and kissed along your breasts. The began to feel overwhelming as his fingers went to circle along your swollen clit. Your nails dung into his skin and thighs shaked along his body. His deep groans filled your ears and his arms brought your legs to wrap onto him.

“Yes, Negan yes! Make me come. Please babe I’m close.”

He smirked and went harder the last few thrusts before you came undone. He smiled as he saw you experience him and soon he finished inside you. Your body fell limb against him and he laughed as he carried you to the couch.

“You enjoy yourself?”

“Yeah. You were amazing.”

“Here let me grab a rag so you can clean yourself up sweet thing.”

You kissed his cheek as he got up to grab a wash cloth from the bathroom. You did sneak a few glances of his cute ass. Making his way toward you he hands you a towel. You cleaned up and had Negan holding you in his arms. He held you in his lap before getting up to find you a spare shirt you could wear. He slipped on a pair of loose sweats and let you pick a movie.

“By the way, your soda is definitely watered down.”

“It’s okay, I’ll grab another one.”

You say as you stood and handed him the desired movie. He playfully hit your ass when you passed him and you giggled. You were about to sit down but you saw Negan laid a few blankets and nice pillows on the ground as a nice bed. You take his hand as he helped you kneel down to the floor. You felt the soft covers and Negan pulling you to lay against his body.

“You want any candy or something?”

“Well it depends what do you have?”

He grinned and reached to pull a small bucket of different candies.

“Anything between chocolate, gummy, or even some minty shit.”

“Oh wow. This is a bit much.”

“It’s nothing babe. Go on pick what you like.”

You reached to grab a candy bar and Negan started the film. Negan made comments and little jokes throughout the movie and which you would reply with by nudging him with your shoulder.

“Can you just watch the movie?”

“Nope. Gotta speak my mind at anytime baby.”

You just laughed it off and enjoyed the way Negan held onto you. Soon the movie ended and you suggested to start another one but Negan dismissed it as he stood to use the restroom. You sat up and look out the window to see the starry sky accompanied by the city lights. You get lost into the sighf and forget where you are so when Negan sits next to you, it goes unnoticed. He didn’t say anything but joined in. You turned to lay on your side and stared out the window, Negan curled to spoon you. You scooted closer to him and heard him groan. That only gave you an idea and giggled as you pressed against his crotch. He didn’t do anything but squeeze your middle.

You slid your hand behind you and went to caress over his sweats. Negan moaned and you took it as encouragement to go further. Your hand then went beneath his pants and you felt him growing hard at the touch. He nuzzled his face in your neck and felt his breath growing heavy. His hand pulled your wrist and shifted to move over you.

“Did I get someone excited?”

You smirked as your hand brushed over his chest and he chuckled. He leaned down and kissed your lips. You two had sex again but this time, Negan took his time with you. He slowed down from the rough kisses to soft and slow. You felt his touch everywhere and his lips burned into your skin. The sweet whispers he said into your ear as he rolled his hips to that sweet spot. Only his name left your mouthand held onto him tightly.

For a minute he held his body over yours and took in the sweet bliss in your after glow.

“Ya know something sugar.”

“What?”

“Your fucking special and I like this little thing we got here.”

“I do too.”

You smile and as he sweetly kisses you. Negan lays on his side and you lay against his chest.

I think this will turn into a series 😳 ….

JDM TAGLIST:

@ffakc @negans-attagirl @jonasdean02 @eddiesgirl @littlebadgirly @cosmilla @iluvneganandjamie @little-bad-girly @ohyoubetterbejokin @bratty-dolly @jdmsgal @nyxerebus

#jeffrey dean morgan #jeffrey dean morgan x reader #jeffrey dean morgan x you #fanfic #jeffreys thirst squad #negan x you #negan x reader #negan #the walking dead negan #twd fanfiction #negans thirst squad #negan smut

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liquid-luck-00 · 4 years

Text

Father Daughter Bonding

Bio!Dad Bruce

Day 2: Father Daughter Bonding

@biodad-bruce-month

Previous ~~~ Next

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been an interesting few hours. Mari fortunately dealt with her emotions but that meant quite a bit of crying. However, once she calmed down she began to come out of her shell. He knew that that she was smart but talking to her face-to-face was different from all the calls and texts they exchanged over the years.

She was strong and competitive. Diana would probably declare her an Amazon if Mari knew how to fight. Hell with her wit she might even be a match for Hal,Barry, or even Jason. But that wasn't what mattered in this moment.

Well long story short he did not know what he was doing. One second he is being demolished by his daughter at Ultimte Mecha Strike III cheering her up, the next Marinette starts taking out ingredients for a mid morning sweet snack. Marinette gets a notification on her phone, most likely an alarm, as she goes up to her room and he hears the shower start.

Out of curiosity he goes over to the counter and reads the recipe she laid out. It was a recipe for fudgy brownies. This doesn't look to hard, so he picks up the whisk.

Okay this is definitely a first, but really how bad could this be. I am Bruce Wayne, I am Batman, the big bad bat how hard could it possibly be to bake some brownies.

Baking is well, Bruce didn’t know what he was doing. Heck Alfred doesn’t even let him in the kitchen in fear that the Manor will go up in flames. Sorry city of Paris, I haven’t been here long, but you are going up and in flames.

However his determination does not waiver. Brownies I can do that right, coco powder, unsweetened chocolate, boiling water, espresso powder and whisk. Next is the butter, oil, eggs, and why does this need more yolks than the clear stuff. Add vanilla, then sugar and oh no.

---

Mari left to deal with an akuma but before coming back down she showered. And as she descended the stairs she saw it. Her Dad was furiously trying to make the brownies recipe she laid out before leaving. But what she couldn’t believe was the huge white cloud of flour that enveloped the entire room. And she couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. Her father who was dressed in a pristine suit was covered in flour and chocolate.

He looked up and he had a sheepish smile before almost whispering “Mari Help.”

---

She gave him a smile and shook her head. “ Nope. You” she pointed at him “Are almost done”

“But” he knew in that moment he was not going to win this argument.

“All that’s left, if the flour is anything to go by, all you need to do is mix in the chocolate chips and put it on a lined pan”

“Okay” he went to get the cup of chocolate chips that sat on the counter and when he turned back, he saw her grabbing some of the batter on a spoon. He could only give her a disapproving glare.

“What? A good chef tastes their creation at every step” was her only response. He sighed and chuckled at her antics. She was his daughter, he couldn’t even refute that logic. Especially when he used that same excuse on Alfred when he was younger. She wore a smile the whole time they baked and when she set them to rest she took him up to her room.

The next instant she was taking his measurements. In a flurry of movements he watched as she sketched and designed a suit for him. It was simple, elegant even, but there was something more, something that seemed inexpressible on the page.

“Ooh we should go fabric shopping. I have got to make this now.” She was smiling, this was the first time she truly smiled, it wasn’t the small smiles that she wore every other moment. This smile seemed to be bright, maybe bright enough to light Gotham. In that moment he is making it his mission to see that smile as often as possible.

“Sure, lets go”

Fabric shopping was not something that Bruce ever thought he would do. Yet to his surprise it was rather enjoyable. Mari seemed to know which type of fabric she was looking for and then spent time deciding between many bolts.

"Which one?" she held up two bolts of black fabric for him to choose from.

"Uhh... Aren't they the same?" That was the

wrong thing to say, because the look on her face was one of utter horror.

"Non, look this one" she pointed to the bolt on the left "has more satin, meaning it will be sleeker with more of a shine." He looked at it closer and he now saw what she meant. "This one has more cotton it will be more breathable but duller in shine." she finished explaining.

They finished shopping and headed out. Mari was extremely persective and it was only highlighted by what happened next. He didn't see what had caused the reaction but Mari began to run and turned into an alley.

He followed after her and he could not believe what he saw. His little daughter who was no taller than 5' 2" flipped a guy who was three times her size dazing him. Then proceeded to pressure point him to knock him out, zip tie him and pulled out her phone.

"Bruce can you call the police" she instructed while handing him the phone. While she went over and comforted a girl.

It wasn't until they all gave statements to the officers and were heading back to the bakery that he found his voice and asked "How did you do that?"

"Maman taught me self-defense and some pressure points" she shrugged her eyes misting a bit before she blinked away the tears.

"Mari, I know you are about to go on your fall break would you like to go and visit Gotham?" he had to ask, he couldn't leave her, not now, not after she finally began to feel better. She didn't answer until they were back in the apartment above the bakery.

"Okay" she said softly "I want to go" she gave him a smile and he returned it with one of his own. After seeing her take down that thug he knew she could handle herself in Gotham. But most importantly she will be able to handle his boys. This meant he had almost two weeks to deal with funeral plans for Sabine, Tom, and Gina. But most importantly to mentally prepare himself for everyone's reactions.

~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@mochinek0 @justafanwarrior @abrx2002 @ranger-gothamite @fantasiame @moonystars14 @mochegato @bigbeautifulandfullofsugar @maribat-is-lifeblood @iglowinggemma28 @miraculous-ninja @talutah0 @vixen-uchiha @danielslilangel @witchsblackfox

#bio! dadbrucewaynemonth2020 #b ! dbwm2020 #bio!dad bruce wayne #maribat #dc x miraculous #miraculous x dc #mlb x dc #dc x mlb #bruce wayne #marinette dupen chang #miraculous ladybug #ml marinette #miraculous fluff

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reallydumbdannyphantomaus · 3 years

Note

I wish you'd write a fic that was dr huang centered. Like either a one shot or between chapters or even part of the story itself. I think it'd be interesting seeing things from her perspective

this is set in the vague future of switch, farther along in the story than we are now. for clarification for people who haven’t read the story, Dr. Huang is Kwan’s mother and she and Kwan are the only two who know Danny’s secret. in this vague future time, Dr. Huang is now reluctantly accepting of Danny’s role as protector against ghosts, though she still wishes there was some other way.

Dr. An Huang was tired.

In the four months since her son had burst through the door with a bleeding Danny Fenton in his arms, she’d seen more violence and horror than she ever imagined--and directed at a fourteen-year-old, no less. Being an ER surgeon was one thing; most nights the worst she saw were some awful accidents. She’d had the occasional shooting or stabbing victim, but those were all controlled and contained within the hospital. None of it came home with her.

Now, though, she never knew when Danny or Kwan would come home with some nasty injury needing to be cleaned and stitched. Nothing had been as serious as the first time, when Kwan had carried home a bleeding Danny with a stick through his torso, but she was getting far too used to the sight of her kids beaten and bloody.

She sighed and turned on the rice cooker, glancing at the clock. 3:46. If all was well, then Danny and Kwan should be leaving school about now after Kwan’s daily detention. If they got home at the normal time, she should have an early dinner ready by the time they walked in.

That was a pretty big “if”, all things considered.

Moving into the kitchen, An grabbed a skillet and some butter and turned on a burner, melting the butter before adding onions and garlic. Then in went the beef and peppers and walnuts. Soy sauce. Worcester sauce. Salt. Pepper. Sugar. Ginger. Mirin. Cayenne. A splash of orange juice. The timer on the rice dinged and An placed a pizza pan over the skillet, turning down the heat to let it simmer as she moved to open the rice cooker and begin scooping some of the rice out onto a plate.

Her shift started at five o’clock, so the early dinner was regrettably necessary, but she left the rest of the rice in the cooker for the boys. The clock read 3:59 now. If they weren’t home in the next few minutes, they wouldn’t be home for a little while.

An spooned the beef and peppers onto her rice, ignoring the heavy and frantic beating of her heart. Worry did her no good.

4:00. She took a bite of her dinner. She couldn’t taste any of it, but she did feel the burning of the capsaicin on her lips and tongue, so she knew it was there.

4:01. She turned off the stove. Either it would still be hot when they got here or it would be late enough that they’d need to reheat it.

4:02. Another bite. She still has to go to work. No matter what happens, she still has to go to work tonight. She has missed too many days already. She had taught her baby boy how to stitch up wounds because she couldn’t always be there how could she even call herself a mother--

4:03. The door swung open and she caught the tail end of Kwan’s laughter. She let out a shaky breath and put on a smile as her boys trampled in, tossing their backpacks on the floor and moving toward the kitchen.

“Dinner’s on the stove!” she said. “How was school?”

Danny groaned. “Lancer pulled me aside again to ask if everything was alright at home. Why couldn’t I have teachers who cared less?”

Kwan nudged him with his shoulder. “Truly, a terrible burden to bear. At least you didn’t have Dash making fart noises every time you walked past today.”

“Yes I did. He did that to both of us.”

“Wait, seriously? Never mind then, your day was worse.”

An’s brittle smile softened. “Anything I can help with?”

Danny grabbed a plate and scooped out some rice. “Just high school stuff. You get it.”

She wanted to tell them that their high school experience was actually pretty far outside the boundaries of normal, but they already knew that. They didn’t need her to tell them that things were bad; they needed her to be something good. Maybe all she could do right now was put on a smile and cook a meal, but she would do that every day if that made things just a little better for her boys. She was still a mother, after all. Doing what she could still mattered. She had to believe that.

She took another bite, full of flavor.

I wish you would write a fic where…

#bug posts #dp switch #danny phantom #dpau #my writing #my fic #Anonymous

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thereaderstea · 3 years

Note

G´day tor-mon, how are you<3? Recommend me your favourite bts!jungkook x reader fics! so I guess its not an au?(no smut✋🚫)

Merry meet, nonnie! I am well, busy and a little stressed because I had a power outage yesterday, but well nonetheless ☺️ I hope you are merry in the holidays (if you celebrate) and are happy and healthy 😄🖤💜

asdfghjkl, my favorite JJK x Reader fics? I have to choose? 😰 *has an existential crisis*

Alright, after some deep reflection, an existential crisis, and fighting the urge to devour these fics again (you have a mission, tor-mon!), I present to you my current favorite JJK fics (this list is only bound to grow). These fics have made me feel so intensely and I think about these fics a lot (an unhealthy amount, probably). I sorted them by genre: fluff to angst to yandere.

tor-mon’s Favorite JJK x Reader Fics

Sugar and Coffee by @jimlingss ➵Fluff, Angst, Slice of Life | slice of life au | pâtisserie school au | enemies to friends to lovers au | Slice of Life series | 23 ch series | 100.5k ➵You are quite the pâtisserie chef, or at least on your way to becoming one, but there’s that one person who always has to complain, Jeon Jungkook. ➵A masterpiece, honestly. I remember cracking up so hard over their competitions, the banter, and dynamics, but nothing beats that one day after the dream... I don’t want to spoil! but I do want to warn that there is a wet dream (not too graphic and it’s not a lot, I promise) somewhere in there, but honestly, it’s so hilarious.

Date in a Box by Jimlingss ➵Fluff | Service Series | oneshot | 9.7k (Jimlingss’s summary: ) ➵If you’re in a hurry then we’re here to help you! Everything you need in a box. Delivery less than five minutes. Upgrade and we can personalize your date even more! Guaranteed 100%! Don’t fret, we’re here. ➵I love the entire Service Series because the concepts are so much fun and they’re hilarious and I love the service descriptions, aka the commercials XD

I Will Not Lose! by Jimlingss ➵Fluff | magic au | oneshot | 6.2k (Jimlingss’s summary: ) ➵A single bet - use every means to make Jeon Jungkook fall in love with you. ➵It’s fluffy and cute, and it’s got that hint of enemies to lovers, especially with how competitive the mc gets over this bet. And the ending! asdfghjkl ^.^

midas by @gukyi ➵Fluff, (light) Angst, Comedy | enemies to lovers au | ceo au| magical realism au | oneshot | 32k (gukyi’s summary: ) ➵jeon jungkook was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and the power to turn whatever he wants into pure gold. you were born with healing and invisibility powers but without a cent to your name. so when you’re plucked off of the streets for pickpocketing and assigned to be his minder as punishment, you realize you’re going to have to overcome a lot more than class differences if either of you are going to get what you want. (or,) ➵you become Jungkook’s magical babysitter ➵I really love this concept! This fic is what got me looking into magical realism as an entire genre. But also, who doesn’t love a good enemies to lovers? and from the master of enemies to lovers 🙌🏻

ice prince by gukyi | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Fluff, (very light) Angst | figure skating au | enemies to lovers au | oneshot | 22k ➵Your ice skating partner just had to break his leg right before a big competition and “of all people on this godforsaken Earth, you’ve been re-paired up with Jeon Jungkook, Ice Prince.” ➵an axel-lent enemies to lovers :D I love it so much! And I really love Tae and mc’s friendship and all those icebreaker questions ☺️

if i told you by gukyi ➵Fluff, (light) Angst, Comedy | friends to lovers au | college au | oneshot | 22k ➵Jeon Jungkook is a broke college student, so to pay off his debt, he sells himself as the perfect boyfriend. If only you weren’t a broke college student either, then maybe you could buy yourself a date with Jungkook. ➵The mc is so not what I expected, (no spoilers!) all I will say is that I really love how supportive she is. I also love how close they are and this Jungkook is too fluffy and cute! ^.^

a moonlight melody by gukyi | The Reader’s Tea Reviews 1 | 2 ➵Fluff, Soft Angst | fake dating au | orchestra au | vacation au | duology | 50k ➵Your best friend has pranked you too many times and you’ve done nothing about it, because you, quite frankly, suck at pranking. As such, Jungkook ➵This is so soft and magical and sweet and soft ☺️ and did I mention soft? but also all those memes! There is so much good and wholesome and hilarious dynamics in here! This is the kind of fic that makes me wish I had a big friend group to do crazy stuff like this (but I hear you have to leave your house and, like, socialize??)

Down With The Ship by @tatastaetae | The Reader’s Tea Reviews 1 | 2 | 3 ➵Fluff, Angst | pirate au | trilogy | 25.4k ➵ You board a ship to escape forced love; but you join a pirate crew to fall into the arms of your only true and constant love: the sea. (or, tatastaetae’s summary: ) ➵Captain Jeon Jungkook; a beautiful mess of blood and gold. His greatest treasure, may also be his greatest downfall. ➵Very very fluffy! I love the adventure and the antics and I still want to know what’s in that soup, Jin! But that ending, holy heck, I didn’t see it coming and I just malfunctioned and stared at my wall in shock for who knows how long, and I just love tatastaetae’s fluffy writing which always somehow wrecks my soul! ^.^

His Name by @jimlingss ➵Angst | multiple personality au | 8 part series | 52.4k ➵Jeon Jungkook has multiple personalities and gaps in his memory. It’s your job to treat him and perhaps help him remember his past... ➵This is the first bts fic I ever read (a special thanks to Nani for reccing it ☺️) and so it holds a special place in my black heart, especially because I sobbed so hard at 3 in the morning and my mind was stuck on this for days

Gravity by @donewithjeon | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | ‘90s au | oneshot | 29k ➵Time can bring you together, but Time can also push you apart; will you and Jungkook be able to fight the distance and Time to stay together, or were you always meant to only share this descent to earth for just a moment, always meant to eventually drift apart? ➵I am a wimp when it comes to Time, but does that stop me from reading fics that exploit that weakness? nope! That last train scene destroyed my heart and that entire ending, the acceptance, stabbed me in the heart, for good measure.

written on the sky by @inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | apocalyptic au? | end of the world au | ‘seeking a friend at the end of the world’ au | oneshot | 22k ➵The 60-mile-wide asteroid was supposed to slip by Earth, but it’s a little late to change its course or do anything about it except to prepare for the end. So while you’re waiting for the end, find a friend, someone to hold a hand with at the end of the world. ➵I was sobbing before the fic even finished. The odd thing is that you know the end, but knowing doesn’t prepare you for the feels.

below thunder showers by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵ Angst, lil bits of Fluff | sci-fi au | oneshot | 30k ➵ Yoongi leads Earth, while you lead a withered space station. You go to Earth to settle the tensions that have been brewing between Earth and the space station, and Jeon Jungkook, a broken soldier who holds a deep love for the rain, is there to deliver you. ➵we stan a fellow pluviophile ✊🏻 I am so conflicted over this Min Yoongi >.< but Jungkook is so soft and he really didn’t deserve to live this way :(

first light by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | hotarubi no mori e au | 24.8k (inktae’s synopsis: ) ➵“Have you ever felt like the world is too loud sometimes?” “No. For me it’s always quiet.” ➵This fic wrecked me and made me so conflicted >.< I can never forget this fluffy, masked boy who lives in the woods and silence...

the swirling way of stars by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | fantasy au | oneshot | 19k ➵You’re tasked with showing Jeon Jungkook what it’s like to live a completely normal life. ➵It’s just falling in love with life itself, the simple things, and it’s written so magically...how can you not fall in love?

the train of lost souls by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, lil bits of Fluff | fantasy au | oneshot | 13.6k ➵You have two options when you step on the train: you can live but forget your life, and everyone in your life will forget you, or you can move on and keep your memories for the rest of time. But, how can you choose when part of your soul rests on this train, and the other part longs for someone just out of reach... ➵Once again, I’m a wimp with Time, and the choices really get me thinking...

Pen Pal by @chinkbihh ➵Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Final 1/2 | Final 2/2 ➵Angst, Horror? | yandere au | murder and crime au | pen pal au | trilogy | 127.3k ➵Warnings: mental disorders (agoraphobia?), yandere, murder (stabbing) ➵You sign up to receive a pen pal and are paired up with an inmate, jungkook. You just wanted to talk to someone who could understand what it’s like to be removed from society, but you just may be getting more than you asked for... ➵I love a good yandere fic, there’s something about a yandere’s demented psychology that calls to me, and it’s always so interesting to see how one yandere differs from another, especially in different scenarios. But please please please read and be mindful of the warnings in case it just doesn’t vibe with you.

Quarter Quell by chinkbihh ➵Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | +more ➵Angst, Horror? | yandere au | hunger games au | ongoing ➵You have resigned to your fate as a tribute in the next hunger games when someone from District Two takes an interest in you...a bit too much of an interest, you’d say. ➵I am a little hesitant to rec this because it isn’t finished, but the premise is exciting and I am really amped for the next chapter in this fic, heck yeah! I mean, heck, a yandere hunger games au? let’s go! But please please please read the warnings in case it just doesn’t vibe with you

~*~

Bonus rec!

I haven’t read this fic, but my friend, Nani, rec’d it to me the other day, and it sounds so exciting :D so I’ll let her tell you about it:

Fan Identity by @tteokggukk ➵Fluff, Crack, Angst | enemies to lovers au | social media au | 37 ch series ➵Influencer!JK is whipped for influencer!reader. Both don’t know they’re interacting with each other on their secret fan accounts. You’re rooting for the two long before they properly meet. But the best part? You’re rooting for their pseudos, Blair Witch and Seagull, as well. ➵I laugh, I pause, I gasp. The conflict between the two mc’s hurt. Honestly, it made the story worth the read.

~*~

Can I also...🥺...may I suggest:

10 Series by @deepdarkdelights | The Reader’s Tea Reviews 1 | 2 | 3 | The Reader’s Tea Analysis ➵10 Seconds | 10 Days | 10 Years ➵Horror? | yandere au | Bouquet Series | 10 Series | trilogy | 29.2k ➵You’re just a college student returning home from a late night out trying to finish up your ungodly college work...but “All it took was ten seconds” and well, now, you’re his. ➵How can I not include my favorite yandere writer, the master of yandere, herself? 🥺 I’m only hesitant because you requested no smut and I respect that, but if you are alright with a small smut scene (I promise there’s not too much) or even just skimming/skipping over it, I would highly recommend this series 🙌🏻 The smut scene is in the final installment (10 Years). It’s an all-time favorite from an all-time favorite writer. But please please please read the warnings in case it just doesn’t vibe with you.

~*~

Happy reading, carissima! I hope at least one of these fics will become your favorite, too ☺️ Let me know what you think as well after you’ve given the authors some love ☺️

Well met!

your fellow reading monster,

tor-mon 🖤

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