This is the first time I’ve ever caught you open! Can you send fics of just neil being put through absolute hell. I only need it to be finished and to have a not totally sad ending. Im good with canon post canon and aus so really whatever. Thank you so much I find literally all my fics on your page <3
This kid just can’t catch a break, can he?
There’s plenty of fics we can offer you where Neil doesn’t have a great time (physically or emotionally), just see our list of recs from previous posts. You’ll find more under our raven!neil, dark and angst w/happy ending tags (not all fics in those tags are complete).
Please be aware of the trigger warnings though, due to their nature some of these fics deal with some heavy material.
Hope you’ll find what you’re looking for here! - S
A selection from previous posts:
‘Black As Is The Raven, He’ll Get A Partner’ and ‘Timeless’ here
‘hawk in the raven nest’ here
‘Take to the Wing’ here
‘Oh Raven’ here
‘Die Free or Die a Failure’ and ‘Night is the Raven, Day is the Fox’ (both completed) here
‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ (completed) here
‘Not Damsels, Not Knights’ here
‘what it takes to survive’ (completed) here
‘Heartlines’ and ‘This Is What Hollows’ (completed) here
‘If Only I Were Enough’ (completed) and ‘don't break the glass’ (completed) here (part 1 of the glass series)
‘Double Trouble’ series here
‘Out of the Ashes’ series here (Part 1 and 2 completed)
‘Make A Believer Out Of Me’ here
‘what if the butcher hurt neil permanently in baltimore’ here
‘here and where you are’ here
‘Pause and Restart My Heart’ series here
‘The Bones of You’ here
‘and in a flash, it’s gone’ and ‘(don’t fear) the reaper’ here
‘Creatures We Find in the Forest’ here
‘There Now, Steady Love’ and ‘Except When It's No’ here
‘I Hope You Lie To Me’ here
‘The Story After You’ here
‘and you thought i hated you’ here
‘The Morning AUs, Chapter 14: The Bodyguard AU’ here
‘If all else perished, and he remained’ here
‘stifle my choice and the air in my lungs’ here
‘Purple Skies’ here
‘Monsters on the Top Floor’ here
‘The Reaper’ and ‘TALE OF A MARTYR IN XII PARTS’ (both completed) here
‘The Nameless Monster’ here
‘Through our memories, we live’ (completed) and ‘Hold Each Other, Chapter 24-31: Go or Go Ahead’ here
‘Hold Each Other: Chapter 5: The Gun Still Rattles’ here, ‘Chapter 7: Nothing Always Means Something’ here
‘Calling Me Back Once Again’ here
‘Amor Vincit Omnia’ (completed) here
‘Run to You’ here
‘Ghost of You’ here
You may also find something in these posts:
Neil with depression/mental health issues here
Neil attempts suicide here
Christmas at Evermore here
What Lies in Wait by starwarned [Rated M, 23419 words, complete, 2023]
Neil is being haunted — or else he’s losing his mind. All he can hear are the screams echoing in his head. But he and Andrew have made it this far, haven’t they? Can’t they survive a little more?
Based on What Lies Beneath.
tw: violence, tw: psychological torture, tw: kidnapping
Pull Up The Ladder When The Flood Comes by WinterFrost250 [Rated M, 3248 words, complete, 2023]
“Neil-” Kevin paused and looked around the room. As if only just realizing they were surrounded by people, he began speaking in vehement French.
“I’m sorry Neil I didn’t mean to look, I just-” Kevin glanced down at his phone, “It was just there when I opened it. I’m sorry.”
OR
Kevin gets sent pictures from an unknown number of Neils's time in Evermore and shit hits the fan.
tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks
the boy in the basement by iriswords [Rated M, 3376 words, complete, 2023]
Part 21 of Febuwhump 2023
The Wesninskis are a well-known family in town. A macabre one, with only one survivor: Nathan Wesninski. Every day, Andrew likes to pass in front of the house on his way back home. He observes it distantly, taken over by morbid curiosity. It's how he notices the eyes watching him through the windows of the basement.
tw: violence, tw: torture, tw: blood, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced abuse
next best thing by iriswords [Rated M, 1546 words, complete, 2023]
Part 13 of Febuwhump 2023
Mary and Nathaniel are caught by one of Nathan's enemies while they're on the run. Said enemy doesn't have anything against the two of them, but he deeply desires revenge on Nathan. And in the absence of Nathan, he chooses the next best thing.
tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: major character injury
keep telling me that it gets better (does it ever?) by phan_taloon [Rated M, 15415 words, complete, 2022, locked]
Except the cool steel felt too much like the cool cement of a dirty basement, it burned and numbed his back too much like-
He wasn’t fine.
But his meds could fix it.
He scrambled to his feet, stumbling down the hall to the bathroom and yanking the cabinet open and grabbing the pill bottle in a fist tight enough to hurt. He shook one of the pretty little pills into his palm and he swallowed it dry. But one wasn’t enough.
Or, AU where Neil never met the Foxes, with a little less mafia and a little more pain for Neil when he ends up captured by Nathan for months, and has to deal with the consequences by himself. He ends up in treatment for chronic pain with opioids, and let's just say opioid use is tricky when you're alone and in pain; one thing can lead to another more easily than it seems.
tw: drug addiction, tw: drug overdose, tw: withdrawal, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: vomit
no matter when and where, we'll be alright by jingerhead [Rated M, 11611 words, complete, 2022]
Of all the night’s events, there were only three things that Nathaniel really remembered clearly: the moments before the riots, being questioned by Lola in the car, and watching his father walk down the stairs to the basement. The last thing Nathaniel could remember was the way the light caught the blade of his father’s axe, blinding and terrifying as it was raised towards the ceiling. He couldn’t remember it coming down but it had to one way or another, right?
tw: amputation, tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks
are we whole or just two halves/reaching out to the unknown? by Raphael_Stantiago [Not Rated, 18881 words, complete, Aftg Big Bang 2022]
An informant/defence attorney au, where Neil never left his father and was sucked into the family business, and gave them all up as soon as possible. However, when Neil meets his attorney Andrew, it gets a little more complicated. Cue them falling in love across various court cases, arrests and one on one meetings, all with the threat of witness protection hanging over their heads.
NB: fic art by @oliviaillustrations here
tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced violence, tw: dissociation
All Alone, I've Lost the Hope by phan_taloon [Rated T, 6873 words, complete, 2021, locked]
Even now, lying in the cold concrete floor of wherever he is, surrounded by armed men and women, drowsy from a concussion and drugs, and body pulsating in pain from several places, he still doesn’t believe in regret. Even at the face of the bastard in front of him, the cruel smile and the hungry glint of his eyes, he’d always choose to stay.
Even if the FBI may have been right to say the Witness Protection Program was the only logical path to choose with so many of his father’s men and allies still out there.
also available on tumblr here and here
tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: kidnapping, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: blood, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: depression
It never comes from your enemies by spectaclesandbooks [Rated T, 19408 words, complete, 2021]
"Name?"
"Andrew Minyard," he pushes out through gritted teeth.
“Well well well,” the man on the other end sounds amused, smug. Andrew waits for him to continue, his feet pounding against the pavement. “If you’re the one coming to meet me, I have to assume you’ve finally found a way to keep Josten on a leash?”
The clink of metal, rough breathing, unseeing blue eyes, panicked pleading.
When Andrew doesn’t answer, the Raven presses further.
“Either you’ve found a way to keep him subdued or you’re not coming alone like you were told. Which is it, Minyard? I told you what would happen if you didn’t do as you were asked.”
“Neil won’t be bothering us,” Andrew spits out, “he’s staying at home for this one.”
There’s movement on the other end of the phone, presumably the Raven preparing to leave and come meet him.
“Excellent,” he says easily. “That means you and I can conduct our business in peace and no-one gets hurt."
tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced self harm
That one party series by Thegaydepression [Rated T, 13872 words, 2 complete works, 2021]
Part 1: Orange (T (we say M), 9237 words)
"Orange is for someone who doesn’t suffocate.
But Neil does.
He suffocates and he feels it clawing at his throat and beating in his ears and pounding on his chest"
-----------------------
Neil thought he was fine, but then he goes to a stupid, loud, bright party.
Neil thought he was fine, but he isn't.
Not at all.
tw: rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: panic attacks, tw: depression, tw: anxiety, tw: nightmares, tw: implied/referenced self harm
Part 2: Maybe Orange isn't Suffocating (Not Rated, 4635 words)
A second part to "Orange"
----------------------------------
Andrew is (not) coping
Aaron is a surprisingly good brother
Neil is not fine
tw: rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: kidnapping, tw: dissociation, tw: panic attacks,
hold me close (don't let go) by cake_lovin_ace [Rated G, 4123 words, complete, 2021]
Part 2 of weight of a martyr
night by night memories of his childhood flooded his mind’s eye, all the things neil had tried his hardest to suppress. all the times he had been hurt; gotten the scars that littered his torso; been betrayed by the very people meant to protect him. it was like reliving everything all over again in vivid technicolor, and when he managed to claw his way out of the maze his mind trapped him in it was all he could do to remain upright and not crumpled on the floor; on the bed instead of hidden below it; dry-cheeked instead of sobbing hysterically.
or
neil struggles with memories of the past. andrew helps.
tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation
what comes after nightmares by moth_writes [Rated T, 10146 words, complete, Aftg Big Bang 2020]
Father won't accept anything less than the best.
Nathaniel shuts his eyes and wills himself to a dreamless sleep. Or at least one without knives and blood and pain.
He's not successful, but the next time he wakes it is to an alarm and the sun in his window.
It's the best he can hope for.
...
Neil falls asleep easily, and he knows he has someone with him to battle the darkness back where it belongs now.
Neil is thirty, and he is wrapped in his husband’s arms with two cats purring next to them.
He fights his own nightmares, and he has his family at his side to help.
He’s home.
(Neil's nightmares and what happens after, ages 5-30.)
NB: find art for this fic by @i-did here
tw: graphic descriptions of violence, tw: nightmares, tw: child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture
👑 ROYAL AU WRITING MASTERPOST 👑 by @emry-stars-art [tumblr, 2023]
(especially the posts concerning Neil’s (Abram’s) treatment at Evermore)
e.g. Abram’s return from Evermore, Pieces of his recovery, Andrew taking over Abram’s care
👑 ROYAL AU TUMBLR LORE MASTERPOST 👑 by @emry-stars-art [tumblr, 2023] (comprises both text and art posts)
e.g. Abram's brands pt1 / pt2
tw: violence, tw: injuries, tw: scars, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation
“Perhaps you’ll take me out one day — or do I have to make an appointment?” prompt fill by @ravenvsfox [tumblr, 2017]
His morning is a string of disasters that begins with covering the ER in the Sunday rush of hypochondriac elderly and fussy children. It’s one long stretch of kicked over paint buckets, a mess you can’t ignore, splattering the walls and getting on his shoes.
Art
andreil post-baltimore by @intradaya
It’s over. You’re going to be okay. We’ve got you. by @rainbowd00dles
"All that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?" by @rainbowd00dles
Sunrise, Abram, death: these are truths. by @boydsjosten
Neil Josten art by @runningwithhellhounds
Neil & Wymack after Evermore comic by @rijirain
Neil in the Wymack’s bathroom after winter holidays art by @eggpy
“Help me,” “Let me” by @rainbowd00dles
And if you make it out alive, hold that bloody head up high art by @pearsfears
I’m fine art by @laurafromnowhere
Nathaniel/Neil gif by @queen-of-perplexity
hurt Neil by @rhyva
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psycho!noah au, what do the aftermath cast think? conversely if they dont know/dont see the show (isnt it implied to be canon in wt that they watch the show or atleast can?), how do they react to newly eliminated cast members telling them?
and then, at whatever point he gets eliminated or just whenever the cast sees him again, how do they react with that new info?
The justification I have for Noah remaining stealthed under his "stoic cynic" persona pre-reveal in this AU is a little convoluted, but I do have one. Vaguely. Which I'll try to outline here for continuities' sake.
So, to clarify; Noah only competes in Island and World Tour, just like in canon. Most things happen just like canon, with the exception of Noah lasting a little longer in Island so he and Izzy have more time to be menaces (I have no idea how I'll shift the elimination order to justify keeping him around, though). Noah's still eliminated fairly early and ends up on the Playa, where the other elimination fodder welcome him with open arms, because in Island they're only given access to the raw camera footage instead of the final cut!
I imagine it'd be pretty hard for a Brand New Show to have the manpower of a full professional editing team that can plan and prosecute the final cut of a whole ~20 minute episode in only three days (in-universe), so to keep the losers as in the know as possible in real time, they're given access to the same live camera footage Chris and Chef have, just without the confessionals.
Since the confessionals are, uh. Toilets. And no one wants to have 24/7 access to toilet stall footage.
Noah only ever really drops his ruse in the confessional, or around Izzy, so none of the losers have gotten the opportunity to see the real him in action; even when he is visible on camera, it's only during the stolen moments he shares with Izzy outside of challenges, wherein the two plot and scheme together like Pinky and the Brain. Given that the majority of them don't even bother to watch the live footage unless there's a challenge actively happening (or something else otherwise noteworthy), his true nature goes undetected amongst them as well.
And then, in Action, the show's budget and workforce increases. Suddenly, the editing team is thrice the size of Island's, and they are capable of providing a final cut of each episode within the span of 24~72 hours, allowing the show to air quicker. Which has the added bonus of allowing everyone in the peanut gallery access to the yet-to-be-aired episodes (instead of the live footage), keeping them up to date with the competition whilst also giving them the same perspective as the audience itself. Including people's confessions.
It's a good thing Noah didn't compete in Action, then. His mask of indifference lives on.
Then there's a year-long break between seasons, wherein Noah works under Chris as his personal assistant. Yada yada yada, World Tour happens. He knows that the losers are going to see his confessions. So now Noah has to choose between maintaining his persona at the sake of losing out on toying with the greater audience, or carrying on as he did in Island at the cost of revealing his 'true colours' (which, in this case, still isn't the real Noah so much as an exaggeration of his more deranged tendencies, since Noah's still essentially performing for the cameras; just with a different role).
Of course he goes with option two. He's primarily motivated by his own amusement- that was the reason for his whole charade in the first place.
(Alright, clarification over, time to actually answer the question.)
So the peanut gallery and steadily increasing number of World Tour Rejects are horrified when, in Noah's scattering of confessions- as he doesn't confess very often, so when he does it's a treat to himself and the audience- he mostly waxes poetic about how exciting each near-death experience the cast go through is, and all of the different ways he so wanted to cause the others harm (either in general, or themed around the challenges), being so much more expressive than anyone's ever seen him (concerningly so, to the point of it breaching the uncanny valley) and giddy over the prospect of performing Acts Of Incredible Violence against his castmates.
They're living in that same fearful anticipation the wider audience experienced through his tenure in Island; waiting for Noah to Drop The Act and fulfil his promises of brutal sabotage, if only to finally put an end to the constant looming threat of his self control snapping. They're horrified bystanders of a car crash waiting to happen (at least, they think they are. Noah's not actually gonna do any of the things he's suggesting, probably, but keeping the audience on their toes is one of his favourite games!) and each episode he features in is a test of both their patience and their own sanity.
Because, could you imagine watching your friends interact and be friendly with someone who (you think) is out for their blood, entirely unaware of the danger? that's literally what they're experiencing.
And Noah, because he's a little shit who thinks he's funny (he is), sometimes goes so far as to fake-out the audience by rearing up attacks against his castmates during challenges, only to shoot the nearest camera a wry wink and a sly smile as he carries on with the actual task at hand, the others none-the-wiser.
It becomes so concerning, in fact, that every new arrival is immediately checked over for any signs of injuries or Noah's Influence and hastily given the rundown on The Situation. Which is, more often than not, met with the same incredulity as Sierra's claims- until they're shown various clips of Noah's confessions, or the fake-outs and otherwise unhinged looks he teases the cameras with.
-
For the second question; I have no idea. I'm still workshopping how people will react to Noah, and how Noah in turn will react to them. Post-reveal p!Noah will, eventually, disclose the fact that he's not as bloodthirsty as he portrays himself as, but until then it's anyone's guess as to how far he'll take the bit- and who could/will get hurt in the process.
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