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birdmenmanga · 2 years

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Pride Flag Iconography in BIRDMEN

There’s one motif scattered throughout official BIRDMEN illustrations that haunts me to no end, appearing in not just throwaway holiday illustrations, but also in chapter title pages and most significantly, on the final volume cover. It is, of course, the striped banners.

Anyone with a passing familiarity with pride flags will recognize the horizontal, multi-colored, and evenly spaced stripes, present in nearly every iteration of the pride flag. Juxtaposed with the midair setting that these illustrations all take place in, the link to the rainbow flag, the most well-known of the pride flags, is undeniable.

What stands out to me especially is the tangibility of these banners. See the way Kamoda is grabbing it? The way it sags under the weight of the birdmen sitting on it? It’s easy to forget in the digital age, when so many pride flags have been turned into abstractions of color, that the hex codes are meant to represent a real, physical object.

Of course, there’s a reasonable in-universe explanation for this, see, every character has a color associated with them, and it’s just a simple and convenient way to show a particular group of characters. In the first two illustrations, for example, there are five stripes, one for each member of the Bird Club. In the final cover illustration, the stripes are meant to represent the Seven of Beginning.

Even when I read through BIRDMEN for the first time, it struck me as peculiar that the Seven of Beginning didn’t quite follow the rainbow color scheme. Gayness aside, it’s a reasonable choice that creators have chosen over and over again. I mean, what’s with the indigo and the violet. They’re WAY too close. Why isn’t there a red. And turquoise, of all colors? What kind of weird and fucked up choice is that? And from the start Karasuma’s black stripe had already thrown a wrench in things. But then I realized… it’s not this pride flag. (Which has 6 stripes instead of 7, anyways.)

It’s this one.

If we include the prophet, Takayama, as the 8th stripe, taking the red slot, and replace Karasuma’s black stripe with the pink, it’s almost precisely the original, 8-striped Gilbert Baker pride flag. (If we’re going to be technical, the orange and yellow stripes are slightly off– Raphael and Malaika’s colors are more desaturated than the colors in the flag. These colors are actually closer to Robin and Arthur’s colors, which… hm… food for thought…)

Well, alright. Depending on how strict or lax you are with the cutoffs, maybe these aren’t statistically significant enough to you. Maybe it really is a genuine, honest-to-god coincidence and Tanabe just happened to pick these colors, completely independently of the Gilbert Baker pride flag. The probability of this happening is pretty low, but certainly not impossible. If we factor in the meaning of the stripes, however, it reveals this to be either the greatest string of coincidences known to man… or the alternative— that Tanabe chose to correspond these colors with their respective characters on purpose.

Let’s put aside the hot pink stripe for now. (There’s a lot to unpack there.) Takayama’s red stripe represents Life– fitting for a Birdman who can hear the voices of the dying despite not being a Linker. Even from the start, Takayama’s opening line forced our characters to confront death, and is a symbol for their will to live.

Orange for Malaika is perhaps one of the clearest connections. Her ability as an Eraser is to lift the emotional burdens from the mind– to restore the mind to a state of peace. It’s pretty clear that her ability is one of healing.

Yellow for Raphael might be hard to argue– but fascinatingly enough, the motif of sunlight has followed Gabriel since her very first introduction. (It’s a motif that has also followed Arthur and Wang Guang Feng… interesting, hm?)

Green, then, is Ende’s color— not only were they born in and raised by the Amazon jungle, they also claim to actually be the forest… “nature”, indeed.

Saqr’s color is turquoise for magic and art, and looking at his Phantom Master ability, which conjures illusions from thin air, I’d say that’s a pretty reasonable match, whether you want to interpret those illusions as magic or art (really, I’d argue it’s both).

Serenity for Barbara might seem difficult to interpret— isn’t agitation, at its core, the absolute opposite of serenity? However, the indigo stripe doesn’t stand only for serenity, but also for harmony (included in the French and Chinese wikipedia pages, but not the English or Spanish one, for whatever reason)— and from that perspective, it’s much easier to see how her Agitator ability exemplifies the concept of “Harmony”. When Barbara was introduced, Adler says this about her ability, in contrast to Karasuma’s Bellwether capabilities:

Not a controlling ability, but one which encourages teamwork and cooperation without coercion— an ability of harmony.

And finally, we have Eva as spirit. This might seem like a difficult and abstract concept to embody in the text, but thankfully BIRDMEN is chock-full of Christian references, and in particular, Ende, Takayama, and Eva are very clearly alluded to as the Holy Trinity— The Father, The Son, and finally, The Holy Spirit, respectively, tying Eva very closely to the concept of “Spirit”. (Personally I think the Holy Trinity deserves its own essay, which is why I’m not expanding on textual evidence. I’ve seen enough people nodding their heads about this interpretation so I don’t really feel the need to expand at the moment.)

Obviously I’m at the mercy of confirmation bias, but I feel like these are reasonably well-backed rationalizations, and while I think individually these arguments may not be the strongest, the fact that all of these arguments coexist is extremely telling.

So then we return to the pink stripe. The pink stripe, which is definitely not black.

Pulling our heads out of the text for a moment— let’s look at the work as a real and tangible thing in the world, shall we? BIRDMEN was a monthly publication in the Weekly Shonen Sunday, which is a relatively mainstream, family-friendly manga magazine. I think even if Tanabe intended to gun for the queer metaphor from the very beginning (which, for various reason, I do believe), even if color matching the Seven of Beginning with the Gilbert Baker pride flag was in her plans from the start, she still would have had to take out the pink stripe.

Like obviously the most immediate issue with assigning Karasuma the pink stripe is that he, uh… He’s just a middle schooler? Like he’s a kid. But even if we dodge the faux pas of associating a minor with sex by giving the sex stripe to an older character, like Eva, I still think it’s playing with fire, because I think the concept of sex itself is still very much a cultural taboo.

Hopefully everyone’s seen the post about how everything is pornographic and nothing is erotic, and the decoupling of sexiness and desire, because I can’t find it in my tumblr backlogs LMAO if anyone has that post on hand please give me a link <3 thanks <3

That is to say, for media that is aimed towards a shonen audience, you can have fanservice, you can have the occasional tit or ass as a treat, and maybe there are characters who have sex (Milan and Gabriel, for instance), but like. That’s in the gutters, in the fade to black, something done offscreen. We don’t show it, and more importantly, we don’t fucking talk about it. (This is meant to be more of a blanket statement, by the way. They did talk about it eventually in BIRDMEN and I liked what Miguel said. Good for Milan indeed…)

Not to mention that queer sex is, if possible, even more taboo than just, oh, you know. “Regular” sex. “Normal” sex. BIRDMEN is acutely aware of the persistent reputation of queer people as predators [insert The Battle Against the Press, Pt. 1 whenever I finally finish writing it], and the author is more than aware of just how easily things could be misconstrued if she chose to delve into this topic at length. Better to leave this unspoken than to make things worse.

Though I think there’s definitely something to be said about putting the sex stripe back on the pride flag, that even queer folks these days sometimes seem afraid of gay sex and sexuality, I view the deliberate exclusion of the pink stripe as a choice made out of safety. That in the absolute worst timeline where BIRDMEN is widely and negatively interpreted as a queer metaphor by the public, both the author and the magazine can, at the very least, duck out of the worst of the scrutiny by avoiding the, you know, the s-word altogether. That it’s actually fine if it doesn’t make things better for queer people, so long as it doesn’t make things worse.

So whatever. I can respect this choice. It’s a mainstream publication, neither Shogakukan nor Tanabe want to die on this hill; fine. But now comes the hard part of the essay, the part that made me drag my feet about this for ages: if Karasuma doesn’t represent sex, what exactly, then, is he meant to represent?

Well okay obviously the first thing I did was pore through all the major pride flags containing black stripes to see if I could find some type of connection there. Obviously I had to tread with caution because some of these flags are actually younger than BIRDMEN, but here’re some things that the color black stands for: genderlessness, asexuality, the sexuality spectrum, and people of color. Nothing in particular really jumps out at me— the sexuality spectrum, maybe, but the aromantic flag was created in 2014, so I’m inclined to disregard this particular piece of evidence. People of color? I mean I suppose he is, but the connection kind of falls short when he’s from such a homogenous society. I’m happy putting this down here just for the sake of saying I did look into it, and also that I personally feel like this is a dead end.

Because really, this approach feels like I’m really letting confirmation bias do the heavy lifting here, which in general is not good practice, so I’m also going to examine this question from a canon-centric point of view, rather than just a irl-queer-iconography point of view.

What I find interesting is how Karasuma defines his own color in New Gear:

Here he’s assessing his color black based on the Hue-Saturation-Brightness model (HSB, better known as HSV model, for value instead of brightness). He says nothing about hue here, because regardless of what the hue is, it still doesn’t matter if the saturation and brightness are zero. In a sense, one could say that black encompasses all the different hues… which certainly ties into his role as the Everyman protagonist. This too deserves its own essay, but once again I feel like most of us can agree on this. In one sentence, his cynicism paired with how lost he feels is easy for many people to relate to.

But more than the fact that he simply stands for all of us— I think he stands for the potential we all have to make a change. If there’s a little text caption next to Karasuma’s black stripe, I think it would say “empowerment”. It’s not the first time I’ve made this claim, but this whole story is a tale of empowerment for queer youth, in my opinion. That if we were willing to link hands and unite, we could achieve anything that our hearts dream of.

#birdmen #birdmen meta #just thinking thoughts...#jesus CHRIST it's not everything I hoped this essay to be but it's already almost 2k words and is almost CERTAINLY insufferably long #idk. NOT sold on what the black stripe means #BUT I'M SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS ESSAY GUYS. I REALLY THINK SHE DIDN'T DO IT ON ACCIDENT. WHAT ARE THE ODDS #I wanted to talk about probability in the essay so bad.#what's the probability of birdmen ending up like this with this cast and these colors. GIVEN she was gunning for a queer metaphor #et cetera et cetera #versus if she was doing this on accident. argh.#augh.. the end of the essay is kind of weak sauce. I don't know. Although I really believe in the queer metaphor I also think like. idk #maybe it's all in my head. LOL #what if I AM delusional. did you think about that #EVEN THOUGH I FEEL LIKE THIS EVIDENCE IS?? INSANE ? ? ?#yeah idk. guys be nice to me. give me a pat on the head for this one idk #lol this is a long post innit #long post

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hedgehog-moss · 11 months

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I was woken up last night by a sound like a machine gun being fired... loud clak-clak-clak that went on for like 10 seconds and I sat in bed completely bewildered because my brain couldn't come up with a plausible explanation for it. Then I remembered about the thunderstorm warning and thought oh shit, the greenhouse. It could possibly be the sound of thick glass cracking and breaking after a branch fell on it...?

I ran outside in my pyjamas and found the greenhouse intact—then thought oh shit, the chicken coop. Had no idea how a chicken coop could produce such a noise but I ran there anyway, and the coop was fine. It was a dry storm, lots and lots of wind but no rain or hail and I stood there uselessly for a moment, trying to think of other explanations with my 3am brain (not easy), then went to check on the llamas just in case, and I found all three of them standing with very alert ears, staring at a fallen tree—one of the four very tall wild cherries in their pasture.

So that was a relief ! From where I was I couldn't see if the tree had crashed on the fence and destroyed a chunk of it, it seemed possible but I decided that was a problem for tomorrow-me, and in any case it could have been worse. The fact that Pampe was still here boded well (for the integrity of the fence)—but seeing as the llamas were lined up in front of the tree like mourners paying their respects at a funeral, maybe she just felt that taking advantage of the tree's misfortune to immediately escape via the opening created by its prostrate body would be inappropriate.

First thing I saw this morning when I opened my bedroom window was the fallen tree, and I started feeling less optimistic because from afar things really didn't look promising for my poor fence.

(And from up close either)

But the tree missed the fence by just a few metres!

Its branches were tangled up with the other trees' branches and I think some of them slowed its fall until they broke one by one, which would explain the prolonged cracking noises, it wasn't just the trunk. But only 1 branch fell on the fence and it wasn't a large one, so there's no damage!

The God of Fences was on my side last night. :)

Consulted on whether he had been frightened by that loud sinister noise in the middle of the night, Pirlouit declined to comment, as he has more tragic problems right now. Our neighbour made hay recently which means Pirou now has several tonnes of hay staring at him and taunting him just outside his pen, out of reach. He is in a bad mood for reasons that have nothing to do with a stupid tree. It's like if you had to live right outside a pastry shop's window, except worse because you're a donkey (they already find life unfair as it is.)

I wonder if the wild cherry tree will soldier on...? Its roots + part of the trunk are still intact, and there are fallen trees in the forest with only 1 toe still in the ground who take their fate pretty philosophically and just start growing perpendicularly, like okay I guess we're sending our branches in that direction now. I'm going to leave it here and see if it rallies. I think it actually looks pretty breezy right now, it kind of looks like this:

Good luck, wild cherry! Let's see if you still have some life in you...

Oh and since we had a new obstacle, I tried to check if Pandolf remembered the word "Saute !" (Jump) and he does! We did it a bunch of times because I was trying to make him understand that I wanted 1 majestic jump and not his lazy 2-steps solution, but I didn't manage to explain it.

Maybe if I said "no :/" instead of "good great what a dog!!" he would think harder about how to improve his technique, but I'd rather fluff up his ego. Even that ridiculous failure at the end was met with a "yes amazing!!" response from me and he felt like an agility champion instead of a bumbling bag of fur. I'm going to try and get him to find his balance and walk on this part of the trunk, so I expect to see a lot more of his "argh, oops, wait" facial expression :)

#crawling along #j'espère que tout le monde a de l'électricité & pas trop de dégâts avec ces orages dans tout le pays...!

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russellsppttemplates · 4 months

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I came across some videos of bf and gf trying period pains simulator at the same time and the difference between how the guys react and the girls react are almost funny. Like, the guys are there fighting for their lives and the girls are like yeah that's pretty accurate. I know Lance's arc is the one this relates the most to, but it actually got me imagining Pierre and Charles doing something like this. Or should I say their gf making them try at the same time as them to gauge their reactions. They'd have new level of empathy for their girls after this, I'm sure!

Cw: periods (pain, blood, medications), curse words

Note: I'm currently on my cycle, so the increase of empathy for these things is very much relevant

"Well, you're always wondering how they feel, so I got this machine thingy that apparently simulates period cramps", you added as Charles sat next to you on the sofa, "how do I know you're not bullshitting me?", he mused, "this can gave two people at the same time, so I'll also be feeling like you feel", you explained.

Grabbing the small stickers, you put them in your lower abdomen before doing the same to Charles, "now you're just feeling me up", he teased, "it's nice, can you blame me?", you smirked, making sure it was properly sticked on.

"Ready?", you questioned before turning it up, starting lightly, "Oh, are you sure they are this bad?", Charles groaned, holding his stomach and curling around himself, "That's not even the worst, Charles!", you offered.

"Okay, give me the worst, I'm ready!", Charles psyched himself before nodding, Ready to accept whatever pain went through him, loudly yelling when you turned it up, "Argh! Stop stop stop!", he pleaded as you turned off the machine, "how can you be so calm?".

"I'm used to it, amour. I've had my period since I was 11, and they were only pain-free for about a year or so", you offered, shrugging your shoulders, "and you didn't even experience it for a long time, with blood and changes and accidents", you said as you removed the sticker pads.

"Everything you need, amour, in that time of the month, you let me know and we'll do just that", he pulled you in to have a cuddle, kissing your forehead multiple times, "your body goes through a lot monthly, amour, so many hormones and medications. I mean, can you even take anything that completely takes the pain away?".

"Sometimes, it isn't that bad all the time. I've tried the pill, but it made me feel weird because of the hormones and I stopped", you reasoned, "it was just finding what worked for me and working with it", you shrugged your shoulders. It was truly something you knew you had to deal with, so you made peace with it pretty early on.

"I love you, Y/N. You're the best", he said, kissing your forehead repeatedly and rubbing your tummy, "you're the best".

(Thank you for your submission ✨️)

#charles leclerc blurb #inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb #f1 x reader

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 3 months

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Beast's Valentines Day (Silvio Ricci)

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

The cocoa tart I gave to Silvio on Valentine's Day had the effect of turning any words into words of love.

Silvio: "Cocoa tart for Valentine's Day, huh? Not a bad choice for sweets."

Seated side by side on the sofa, I offered him the plate, and he happily started eating it.

(I'm glad he likes it.)

Silvio: "Delicious. This taste… I can't stop my love for you."

Silvio: "........."

Emma: "P-Prince Silvio?"

(I feel like I heard something unbelievable just now.)

Silvio: "The sweetness of this treat makes my love for you unstoppable."

Silvio: "........."

He quickly jumped back as his previously cheerful expression suddenly turned into a frown.

Silvio: "Don't suddenly get so close to me! You're too cute. It's bad for my heart."

Emma: "What's wrong? Why are you suddenly saying strange things?"

Silvio: "........."

(His attitude changed after eating the tart.)

Emma: "Could it be that you liked the sweets so much that you can't stop giving compliments?"

Silvio: "........."

Emma: "Thank you. I didn't expect you to be so happy with it."

Silvio: "........."

Emma: "Hehe, if you're going to make such a scary face just because I hit the mark, I'll take the sweets away."

I reached out to take the plate, but he quickly snatched it.

Emma: "U-Um, Prince Silvio?"

Silvio: "What the hell are you trying to do? There's no way I'd let go of your love!"

Emma: "Uh, love?"

Silvio: "Damn it, what's happening to me?"

Silvio: "I like you so much, I don't know what to do!"

Silvio: "........."

Emma: "Prince Silvio, do you have a fever?"

I reached out to touch his forehead, but he grabbed my hand, causing me to fall to his chest.

His arms, wrapped around my body, were holding me so tightly that I couldn't see anything.

Emma: "Whoa, your body is so warm. Maybe you really have a fever."

Silvio: "Shut up! Ever since I ate your sweets, nothing but sweet words keep coming out of my mouth."

Emma: "Huh?"

Silvio: "It's probably the love you put into your pastries that's making my heart swoon. Wait, what the hell am I saying!?"

(I can't believe something like that could happen, but I have no choice but to believe his current state.)

Emma: "I'm glad it's not because you're sick."

Pushing against his chest and looking up, I saw his face had turned red.

Silvio: "It's not good at all. Whenever I see you, all these cute words keep popping out of my mouth."

Emma: "That's alright. In that case, please go ahead and say more."

Emma: "You're usually shy and don't say those things often, so I'm really happy."

(I'm getting a little embarrassed myself.)

Silvio: "Your ears are turning red as you say that, you know?"

Emma: "It's just your imagination."

Silvio: "You blushing like that is so cute."

Silvio: "........."

Emma: "Hehe, I really like that side of you."

Silvio: "You're enjoying this, aren't you? That smile of yours is cute, too. Argh, damn it!"

Emma: "It's fun, but I really mean it."

He furrowed his eyebrows deeply and peered into my face as if something had clicked.

Silvio: "If you want me to show you that much affection, there's a better way."

Caught in the gaze of his ocean-blue eyes, I couldn't move as his beautiful face drew closer.

Emma: "Nn…"

Our lips met, and his tongue gently explored the inside of my mouth.

As I melted from within, rendered powerless by the sensation, he swiftly lifted me and pushed me onto the bed.

Silvio: "This is my return gift for the exquisite treat. Accept it quietly."

He removed my clothes and gently caressed my bare skin.

Emma: "Ah…"

His intense gaze and careful touch conveyed his feelings to me.

(Even if it's not being said explicitly, I can still feel how important it is.)

(If that's the case, then I...)

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck, then kissed him.

Emma: "I love you."

Silvio: "I know that, idiot. But my love for you is even greater."

Silvio: "My feelings for you are deeper than the Benitoite Sea."

Silvio said so in a somewhat unintentional manner, then sealed my lips with a kiss.

That Valentine's night, we shared our overflowing love with touches sweeter than words.

#ikemen prince #ikepri jp #ikepri #ikepri silvio #silvio ricci #cybird #ikepri translations

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suguru-getos · 7 months

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୨・┈﹕✦﹕ Kinktober Day 29﹕✦﹕┈・୧

-> Event Masterlist

Geto Suguru x F!Reader -> Wax Play

Warnings: Wax play, soft dom Sugu <3, use of the word 'Daddy'.

Your ears heard the sound of the entrance door opening and closing, followed by footsteps from Suguru, you bit your lip in anticipation, and you let him come to the bedroom door, sitting pretty in a black lacey lingerie and darting your doe eyes at him. Suguru tilted his head, smirking and leaning against the door frame, "Oh wow, someone is all dressed to please me, hmm?"

You are blinded by how beautiful he looks at times, the love in your eyes showing oh-so-easily for him; he would ask you to die and you would. He would ask you to kill, and you would. Calculated footsteps followed through, hands wrapping around your throat and tilting your chin up. Your lips reflexively parted he moment Suguru's gaze landed on you. You wanted a kiss so bad.

You had been teasing him over texts for hours, ever since he left for work. Now he has the time to get back at you. "Got you something." Suguru hums, leaning back and not allowing you to brush your lips against him. His shirt came off; just to make you feel more intimate. "Got these." He cooed, taking out a white colored wax candle. His other hand brought the lighter and lit it up. Your eyes were intermingled with two things, slight nervousness and anticipation.

To ease your worries, Suguru dripped the wax on the skin of his palm, "won't burn you, I promise." He gently chided, you couldn't possibly expect someone as thoughtful as Suguru to not do research now do you?

You gulped, smiling softly at his sentence, "Okay Daddy."

Suguru hummed, walking closer to you, kneeling between your legs, and taking off the fresh set of lingerie you bought for him. "God, I can't wait to ravish you, Angel." The affirmation came from deep below the depths of his throat, biting his lip at the sight of your naked body. Your nipples perked up at the cold air of the air conditioner.

The candle's wax turns into body oil, and Suguru is having fun just contemplating how cute the temperature play would be. "Spread your legs for me," Suguru commanded, glancing at you with softened eyes to soothe the blow of his daunting order. You nodded, spreading your thighs apart. The candle tilted and within two seconds, you feel the hot wax drip right onto your clit. A soft hiss escaped you, the sting of hotness lasted barely a second, before fading off to a delicious feeling of warmth.

"Ngh," You rewarded him with an awfully lewd moan as more drops of wax dripped on you, his thumb finding a way to spread up the body oil into your clit, smirking at the sight of you dancing onto his fingers for more friction. The next turn was for your nipples, droplets of the wax dripping down onto the sensitive skin, making you whine for more. Your cunt was dripping wet, eager for more.

"Beg to be fucked," you heard Suguru order again, and it was as if a reflex had taken over your body. "Please, Suguru, fuck me." You begged in the most honey-laced tone, being such a good girl for him.

Your cunt was twitching around nothing, so awfully turned on with your boyfriend's little temperature play. "Aw, good girl. Look at you, like putty in my hand." Suguru commented, smiling down at you, leaning in to steal a soft, tender kiss.

"I love you, Angel." The voice came out from the depths of his heart, pouring all his love and affection into one sentence. "I love you too, Daddy." Your tone mimicked the same affection; the same love, as easy as breathing for the two of you.

"Going to fuck you nice, treat you even though you've been a little brat today." Suguru chuckled, remembrance of your thirst traps spammed to him stuck like a bulletin in his head. "I'm sorry Daddy, just missed you." You pouted, watching him spread your cunt lips, unzipping himself and thrusting into your cunt in one go, almost balls deep.

"Argh- Ah-" A guttural moan escaped your lips, it seemed like you were being torn apart in the best of ways, heavy panting echoing into the room. "Ssh ssh, take it, take it well." Suguru hummed gently, leaning in and kissing your forehead deeply.

"Fuck, Angel, hugging me so tight, hmm?" Suguru hissed, moving inside you, with slow but deep thrusts. Until he can't possibly fuck you any deeper. Your womb stopping him from going any further. "Still can't take me fully, aw?" Suguru mocked you playfully, kissing your pout off.

His thrusts picked up their pace, kissing your collarbone and leaning in, suckling onto your perked nipples as his lips wrapped around your tits. "Cum for me, whenever you want." He smiled, noticing your walls flutter and twitch around him. "Gonna fill you up, hm?"

You nodded eagerly, arching your back as you felt the orgasm rake through your body, twitching and whimpering with a gasp. "Shit, shit- AH," every single moan, every single sound was vibrating with the way Suguru thrusts his cock into you, also tipping off the edge and filling your fluttering walls with his warm seed.

"That was- ah- amazing." You grinned, panting mess as you felt your high slowly come down. "Liked wax play huh?" Suguru smiled tenderly at you, smooching you once more.

"Next time we'd try edging." You giggled, and Suguru rolled his eyes. "Then you'd start crying that you want to cum and I'm being mean," Suguru commented, leaning in and kissing your cheek.

"I WONTT" You whined out, pouting. "We both know, you will," Suguru smiled, gently taking himself out and watching his cum gush out of you with a frown, tucking it in with his fingers. "Promise, I won't." "Okay then, if you cum without permission next time, I'd ruin your orgasm," Suguru commented and watched you pout again... with a laugh. "See, this is what I was talking about Princess, spoiled you too much haven't I?"

#geto suguru #geto thirst #geto smut #geto x reader #sugutu geto #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk thirst #jjk x you #jjk #jjk imagines #geto imagines #getou smut #getou thirst #jjk kinktober #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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hushed-chorus · 28 days

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Hi everyone! I’m climbing out of my cave and scheduling this in advance to spread the good word about vampire angst. Because, as anyone who’s read my blog title knows, I am a fiend for vampire angst, and there is some cracking vampire angst in this fandom.

Here's a selection of fics that dive into the tasty vampire stuff, especially ones that come with a serving of ‘this sucks actually’. I love all of these, but I’m sure I’ve forgotten or missed other great fics, so please feel free to reblog with your own recs!

Also, since these fics all deal with how being a vampire sucks, I’d recommend checking the tags before diving in.

The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch by @monbons

I am asking you all, please, hop on board and join me in reading along with this WIP. Monbons has a wonderful writing style; well-paced and impactful. She’s made some inspired choices in this AU. Angsty, clever, and so, so engrossing. Tasty angst so far, and we still have many chapters to go!

burning pitch by stainedglassflood

Lamb is a character who really fascinates me. This ficlet imagines a conversation Baz and Lamb would have if Lamb discovered Baz was a mage under less bloody circumstance. This short and sweet fic is something of a hidden gem, and I’ll cry forever that this is a 600 word fic, not a 60k one.

Crowding out the Bad (with Good) by twigs_in_my_hair

Another WIP, and if you are a fan of lore, this is one for you. This AU involves Simon trying to improve his diet with the help of nutritionist (and reluctant vampire) Baz. Twigs devotes so much to exploring Baz’s feelings about his vampirism, and how it has left marks on his life, behaviour, etc. And, of course, there's a lovely bit of slow burn Snowbaz along the way!

Joy and Trust by @bookish-bogwitch

Bogwitch constantly surprises and impresses me with her range. This short (400 words), sweet and heartbreaking ficlet sees Baz receiving a Visiting during the events of Carry On. I love it so much.

Proof of Life by @roomwithanopenfire

What if Natasha Pitch survived the vampire attack, but Baz still got Turned? What would that mean for Baz and the World of Mages? In this WIP, it means a Baz who is even more angsty about being a vampire than he already is in canon—and with good reason. Added bonus is the consideration for the wider canon divergence. What would Watford be like if Natasha is still headmistress but Davy is the Mage? Very intriguing fic so far, especially now we’ve landed in eighth year!

This is where it ends by LakeWitch

The least Baz-focused on the bunch, this fic is about the Mage taking Old Family children prisoner for leverage and the aftermath. It sees Baz hit his lowest point (gave me the big good sads), and then follows how he and Simon recover from all they’ve been through. Love it.

A Record of You and I by Sip_of_your_soul

Argh. I just can’t. This one hurt so good. Want to die a little inside for fun? Read this.

Thanks everyone, I'm eager to see any recs you wanna make! Tags below the cut!

@artsyunderstudy @facewithoutheart @captain-aralias @raenestee @cutestkilla

@ivelovedhimthroughworse @larkral @stitchyqueer @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

@ileadacharmedlife @confused-bi-queer @aristocratic-otter @whogaveyoupermission

@nightimedreamersworld @fatalfangirl @thewholelemon @onepintobean @shrekgogurt

@theearlgreymage @martsonmars @blackberrysummerblog @orange-peony @valeffelees

@j-nipper-95 @rimeswithpurple @wellbelesbian @imagineacoolusername

@youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @supercutedinosaurs @alexalexinii

@bookish-bogwitch @cosmicalart @bazzybelle @theotherhufflepuff

@that-disabled-princess @prettygoododds @mooncello @noblecorgi @roomwithanopenfire

@emeryhall @monbons

#fic rec #snowbaz fic rec #vampire angst #baz pitch

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jeonqkooks · 1 year

Text

our beloved summer (05) | jjk

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, crying, Sad Boy JK Hours ??, valentino!yoongi bc that should be a whole warning 🥵 even though he's there and not really there for literally 2 seconds lol

rating: PG-15

word count: 9.5k

note: this is the most stressed out i've ever been while trying to post a fic 💀 argh anyway, 2 obs updates in one month ?? is this even real life !! consider this a (lunar) new year's present from me to everyone who celebrates it and also to everyone who doesn't !! idk i'm bad at notes and i'm delirious so that's it 😗

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Hey, I feel like if we gave it one night You'd hate me less and make it alright Just wish that we could fight now I'd hold you on the comedown

Rockland - Gracie Abrams

One thing about you, is that you don’t do well with change.

After you moved out of the first apartment you got as an adult, you constantly went back to your old neighborhood even though it wasn’t close to your new place. You kept walking those familiar streets, kept shopping at the stores where the workers knew your name. At night, you still pictured yourself living there, with all of your furniture and clothes and decorations that you’ve already emptied from those old bones. Then, you imagined what the new tenant was like, if they could feel the lingering love you had for that apartment. You wondered if they were putting the coffee table you left behind to good use, or if they thought that it looked out of place among all of their belongings and had already thrown it away.

Jimin called you weird for that, but he didn’t know that you always leave a piece of yourself everywhere you go. The biggest pieces, you think, are hidden somewhere in a closet in your childhood bedroom where your mother still lives, and in the tiny space of your dorm room where you spent most of your college years.

It took you more than half a year to finally start considering your new apartment home.

Because you hate change. Change is scary. Change is walking into a pitch-black tunnel with no flashlight, not knowing what awaits you in the darkness and not knowing if you’ll make it to the other side.

That isn’t to say that change is inherently bad. You’ve experienced good changes before. Arguably, Jungkook was a good change when he went from someone you couldn’t tolerate, to the love of your life back then. You were happy with him, so blissfully happy that for a while, you forgot what it was like to experience any other emotion.

Yoongi has always been your friend. It didn’t take you two very long to become well acquainted with one another and from there, develop a good friendship. You have never thought of him as anything other than a friend. Even when he was your boss, he still felt more like a friend.

As you sit next to him in a bar too empty for your liking – but seems right for a Tuesday night – you feel a palpable shift between the two of you.

When your phone vibrates with a notification, you glance at it only to exhale annoyedly – unclear whether this frustration is directed toward yourself, or the person blowing up your mobile; maybe it’s both. That’s the nth message that Jungkook has sent you in the last couple of hours, and you don’t need to read it to know that it’s probably another iteration of the same apology. How many different ways are there to say “Hey, I’m sorry for fucking the receptionist and then having the balls to tell you that you’re the unprofessional one when you didn’t even do anything.” Apparently a lot, because the texts just keep coming.

“Jungkook again?” Yoongi asks from beside you. Fuck. You’ve mostly been silently moping since he brought you here, too enmeshed in your own web of muddled thoughts that you forgot he’s someone you need to make amends with too.

You give him a nod but still continue to stare at the drink in front of you, trying to disentangle your Yoongi thoughts from your Jungkook ones.

Taking a sip of your drink, your face manages to keep a grimace at bay as the liquid ambushes your tastebuds. You don’t like whiskey, but you need something to hate more than yourself tonight. When you set the glass down, the alcohol sloshes around like a compact sea of your own amber-colored miseries.

“I’m sorry,” you say finally. “This is unfair to you. I don’t know what came over me. I just want you to know that this isn’t me responding to…” To your confession.

“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then I have to stop you right now.”

“Yoongi…”

“I’m not saying that you can’t turn me down, although I hope you don’t do that,” he chuckles. “I’m just saying that whatever you do, whether you give me a chance or reject me, I want you to decide after you’ve really thought about it, about me.”

You can’t say no to that; it’s only fair. Yoongi knows what he deserves. You haven’t looked at him in any other way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Didn’t you say it yourself, that maybe you should start putting yourself out there? Well, here is someone coming to you before you even have to look anywhere. You may not have expected Yoongi, but then, you didn’t expect Jungkook either.

Yoongi could be the good change you need.

Nevertheless, you want to tell him you’re sorry for the other night. It should be fairly simple, but the words have a hard time dislodging themselves from your throat.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night at dinner… and what I did…”

Yoongi props an elbow on the bar top and leans forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his eyes glimmering with mischief. “Remind me what it is that you did again?”

“Come on, I’m serious.” You are grateful that he’s trying to keep it light, though.

“I’m serious too. I seem to have forgotten.”

“Yoongi…”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You sigh, shutting your eyes momentarily. Recalling the moment makes you flush with embarrassment, bringing a splash of color to your cheeks which Yoongi always seems to enjoy.

In a quiet voice, you say, “I’m sorry for throwing salt at you…”

“You threw salt at me!” He tips his head back, laughing freely. The bartender spares you two a glance at the sudden disruption. “You shouldn’t go around throwing salt at people!”

“Stop laughing! I’m trying to apologize.” You punch his arm out of habit and for a second there, you forget that your relationship with Yoongi isn’t the same anymore. Changed forever.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, why are you so violent?” He rubs the spot where you hit him, muttering under his breath something about him bruising like a peach. “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”

“Okay, good. But I still want you to know that if you were expecting anything from tonight…”

Yoongi ruffles your hair with a scoff. “I’m not that dense. Of course I’m not expecting anything.” When you peer at him with curious and unsure eyes, he continues, “Y/N, earlier you looked like you wanted to set the place on fire and Jungkook looked like he was about to shit himself. Tonight, I’m just a friend who’s here for you if you want to vent. We’re just two buddies having a drink, that’s all.”

He makes it sound so simple, while your brain is already going haywire.

Despite yourself, you chuckle at his words. You tell him how much you appreciate it, though you don’t really tell him anything about what happened this afternoon, just that Jungkook said some stuff that pissed you off. You can’t tell him exactly what Jungkook did to anger you without alluding to the confession for which Yoongi is letting you off the hook for now.

“Do you wanna come with me tomorrow?” Yoongi asks.

“Come with you where?”

“I have a shoot with Valentino in the morning.”

“You have a photoshoot not even 12 hours from now and you’re here drinking? Aren’t you gonna wake up puffy or something?”

“Yeah, my manager would kill me if she knows what I’m doing,” he replies casually, like his manager has a telepathic connection with him and she can sense him mocking her over a drink. When people see Agust D, they tend to only see the icy exterior that he dons. That tough, maybe even callous, image has sustained him in the entertainment industry for years. For many, Agust D seems intimidating and unapproachable. That’s how you felt when you first met him too. But after a while, you got to see Min Yoongi, and Min Yoongi is nothing if not warm and tender-hearted, even if he’s a little shit sometimes. At least, that’s what he has always been like to you. “She thinks I’m getting my beauty sleep right now.”

You lightly snort at that, telling him, “Yeah, you need it.”

When you start to yawn, Yoongi calls a driver to drop you off at your place. The ride is mostly silent, because you’re tired and because you’re not sure what to say to Yoongi in the presence of a stranger taking you home. The car pulls up to your building soon enough, and before you can step out and tell him goodnight, he offers to walk you up. He takes the elevator with you to your floor, how gallant but unnecessary. When you reach your door, you wonder whether you should invite him in for a glass of water or something. If this was a week – or even just a couple of days – earlier, you would’ve had no reason to hesitate. He doesn’t ask if he can come in but instead takes one of your hands.

“I see you’ve been giving yourself some TLC. They’re a lot better now,” he comments, smoothing his thumb over your skin. You’ve been diligent with your hand care routine since he gave you that lotion. It feels nice, and it smells amazing. Besides, your hands were starting to hurt anyway.

Silence descends upon the two of you as you become aware of Yoongi touching you, and the weight of the answer you’ve yet to give him. He must feel you stiffen, because he lets you go and smiles.

“Relax, princess. Get some sleep, you’re the one who needs it. I said I’ll let you think about it, didn’t I? Stop stressing so much.” His index finger taps your cheek playfully, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. The wink that he tacks on makes you roll your eyes. You watch Yoongi make his way to the elevator, step in and press the button for the ground floor. He maintains eye contact with you as he waits for the doors to shut, and you don’t think you’ve really noticed before how Yoongi carries himself with such confidence and poise even when he’s off-camera. That’s just the kind of person he is and it’s… kind of attractive.

You can’t even fish around in your bag for your keys, you just stand there because he keeps your gaze trained on him. His eyes are alluring even under the shitty lighting of your building’s elevator. Before the lift closes, his voice carries over from the metal box to your door, and you don’t know if it’s the echo of his low timbre in the empty hallway that makes you shiver, or if it’s just Yoongi.

“I’ve waited this long, what’s a little more time?”

One week. This is a record for you and Taehyung.

You’re still baffled by his attitude that night, and no one has cleared anything up for you. He was right, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. You stand by your initial reaction. Could anyone really blame you for that? In your defense, who the fuck could believe that a worldclass megastar has romantic feelings for them? Not to mention that the person whom the megastar in question has feelings for is you! You, the pathetic girl who can’t seem to get over her ex. Yoongi had to sit through a whole hour of you drunkenly crying over Jungkook, for fuck’s sake!

That really wasn’t your best moment, but it’s not like you even remember it anyway.

Your phone buzzes to life with Jimin’s face taking over the whole screen – a photo of your hand squishing his full cheeks until his lips jut out. “Hey Minnie,” you greet him once you’ve swiped to accept the call.

“Y/N,” he says, sounding out of breath. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Where are you? Are you doing pull-ups again? You know you practically hyperventilate when you do more than 3.”

“Shut up, I’m at dance practice. But listen, have you talked to Tae yet?”

You purse your lips at the mention of his name. “No. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow like we always do, but I guess that won’t be happening.”

Jimin hums, like he’s in thought. He doesn’t speak again until his breathing has calmed. “Well, can you go to his place right now?”

“Why?”

“He’s sick and I’m kind of worried about him. He hasn’t answered my messages.”

You frown. “Tae’s sick?”

“Yeah, he must’ve caught a cold the other day. Could you go over there and check on him? I would go but I can’t leave for another few hours.”

You agree to go, because of course you would. Even if you’re stubborn and hot-headed, no amount of pettiness could make you ignore your friends especially when they’re unwell and need somebody. Especially when it’s Taehyung who’s been there for you so many times.

You stay on the call with Jimin for another ten whole minutes even after you have said you would go, because he keeps droning on and on about how shitty Taehyung looked yesterday.

Before you go to your best friend’s apartment, you stop by your regular diner to pick up some comfort food for him, and the pharmacy for some medicine. During the rest of the drive there, you start getting a little worried. When Taehyung takes care of a sick you or Jimin, he practically goes into full mama bear mode, making sure that you’re as comfortable as humanly possible and not leaving your side until you’re a functional human being again. But when it comes to his own wellbeing, Taehyung doesn’t seem to be that concerned. It’s not that he neglects his health, but you wish that he would show himself the same kindness that he shows you.

It feels weird to use the spare key that you have to his place, considering that you aren’t really on speaking terms. In hindsight, it feels so childish. How old are you to still be pulling the silent treatment on each other?

You ring the doorbell and wait a couple minutes until you hear Taehyung shuffling to get the door from the other side. When it swings open, he tenses up a bit, not expecting to see you at all. His hair is damp; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. Taehyung doesn’t look as bad as Jimin described though. Just some dark circles under his eyes.

You raise a hand and wave. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he parrots somewhat awkwardly. It’s understandable; neither of you thought you’d be the one to break the ice. “What are you doing here?”

Bringing your other hand up, you show him the bag you’re holding. “Brought you soup and cold meds. Jimin said you’re sick.”

His brows knit together in confusion. “Thanks…” he says slowly, “but I’m not sick?”

“But Jimin said you caught a cold and you’ve been wheezing like a dying fisherman and–” You purse your lips, catching onto what’s really happening here. “He tricked me, didn’t he?”

Park Jimin…

Taehyung tuts under his breath, shaking his head at the ground. “Mhmm.”

“He could go into acting. He sounded really worried on the phone, like you were on the verge of death.”

“No, yeah, he really could,” Taehyung agrees. “Jimin is bizarrely good at lying sometimes. We should be worried about that.”

You laugh, and that makes him feel like the air is relaxed enough for him to laugh too. It only lasts a few seconds before you’re left staring at each other again. You hate it. You really, really hate it.

You thought that the universe sent you a sign, gave you a reason to come over and make nice with your best friend. Turns out that “the universe” is really just Park Jimin and his scheming tongue. But you’re already here, and you have to talk to him eventually. Jimin might have lied, but you would’ve just waited for Taehyung to reach out first to offer an olive branch anyway.

“Well, can I come in?” you ask. It’s weird that you even have to ask.

��Of course,” he says absentmindedly, stepping to one side to let you in. He takes the bag from your hand and brings it to the kitchen while you kick off your shoes and change into the pair of fuzzy bear slippers that he keeps for you here.

You want to tell him what happened as much as you hate admitting that you were wrong.

“Have you eaten?” you ask, a sad attempt at delaying what will inevitably come.

“No,” comes his simple reply.

“Should we eat? I bought enough for two people.”

“But I’m not sick.”

“You don’t have to be sick to eat chicken noodle soup.”

Taehyung looks at you like the thought has genuinely never crossed his mind. “Interesting… Okay, then.”

You put on an episode of your favorite show while he heats up the food. When you both sit down to eat, it’s mostly silent while the TV continues to play. The most you and Taehyung thing that you exchange in these 30 minutes is him saying soup tastes like shit when you’re not actually sick, and you telling him to stop being such a hater. When you both finish, Taehyung rinses the bowls and puts them in his dishwasher.

Before you came over, you thought you would only be making him eat, take his meds, and sit there for a bit while he sleeps. If you had known this would happen, you would’ve prepared yourself for it.

But then again, you were tricked into coming.

Ugh. Just do it. You are so freaking dramatic.

“Well,” you start, keeping your voice light and trying not to stand around like you’re out of place in his apartment, “you were right.”

“About what?” Taehyung asks, wiping his hands on a towel.

“About Yoongi and… all that.”

“Oh.” His expression is one you aren’t too familiar with. There’s surprise – yes, that you’re making peace with him – in the way his brows slightly lift, but there’s something else too. Something odd that you can’t quite put a finger on, and it makes you slightly uneasy because you don’t like it when you can’t read Taehyung.

He’s pretty quick to mask it, and it makes you even more conscious that there’s something he isn’t telling you. Of course, this feeling is miniscule, practically a seed compared to the blooming garden of nerves that the events of these past few days have dumped upon you, so you can’t categorize it as a high-level priority to nitpick. You need to deal with your main concerns first, aka what to do about Yoongi and Jungkook, both individually and together, and then you can begin to inspect what’s going on with Taehyung.

It all sounds so easy in theory.

Taehyung goes to the couch and you wordlessly follow. You sit down when he pats the spot next to him – your spot. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks. “You know I don’t get to hear you tell me I’m right very often.”

Because you aren’t right very often, is what you almost say. It’s light and playful, and you both know it would diffuse the leftover tension, but you chuck the words aside in favor of something more serious. There isn’t that much to catch him up on, but there is a lot to unpack from the few things that did transpire over the last few days.

You give him a recap of what happened with Yoongi and subsequently what happened with Jungkook. Those are the two things weighing the most on your mind. You haven’t really processed anything; blame it on Yoongi for telling you that you have time to think things through.

One thing you love about Taehyung is that he doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather helps you sort things out on your own. Come to think of it, these conversations often take place on his couch. He’s like your own personal therapist at this point.

“Can you give me a hug?” You probably can’t ask a licensed therapist to do this, though.

He softens even more with a smile. Opening his arms, he says, “C’mere.”

You shuffle over to sink into his embrace. You sigh as you practically melt in his hold. Taehyung is a little bony, but hugging him feels exactly like hugging a giant teddy bear. He’s soft, and always knows how to hold you just tight enough, how to stroke your hair the way you like, how to be just the comforting presence you need amidst a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. And he smells like jasmine, though that might be because you keep deliberately gifting him colognes with scents that you like.

With your chin perched on his shoulder, you feel yourself start to relax, walls coming down if only briefly.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks after a moment.

You’re suddenly aware that you’re crying. You don’t know how it started, but now that the waterworks have begun, it seems like there’s no stopping. “No,” you sniffle. “Can I just…”

You feel him exhale. “Of course.”

Taehyung is one of the few people – oh who are you kidding? He might be the only one – whom you feel comfortable enough around to let yourself cry to your heart’s content.

You’ve been feeling it for days now, even before all that shit happened. Every cell in your body is constantly vibrating, with anxiety, with guilt, with a heaviness that sinks into your bones. You’re shaking even when your hands are perfectly still. People, memories, thoughts you keep only to yourself – they all phase through you, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath.

When it rains, it pours.

Everything is weighing you down like someone has tied you to an anchor and pushed you into the unrelenting, unforgiving water. Grief is an ocean and you don’t know how to swim. Your job, your friends, the unbridled mess that you call a love life… Everything is changing and you’re the same. You’re different, but somehow still the same. Deep down, you’re still that scared little girl who doesn’t know what to make of the world. Your knees are bleeding but your mother is telling you not to cry. Why can’t you cry when you’re hurting? Every minute feels like a lifetime but every day feels like it’s going by in two seconds. Things are moving so fast. Things are moving too slow. You can’t remember the last time you actually cried. Really cried. Bawled. Sobbed. Let out all the dirt until you can see your roots again. Until you originate back to being a blank canvas. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way that can help you see things more clearly. Your vision might blur for a while but afterward, it’ll have washed everything away. At least a little bit. So you can get your footing again.

You miss clarity, or the illusion that you have any control over your life. You miss looking out the window and have something to look forward to, even on overcast days where the sun can’t be bothered to bring you light. You miss hearing your heart beat a melody that doesn’t ache, doesn’t rattle you to the core. Pieces of you have been held together by nothing but tape and glue for the longest time. Eventually, they’ll deteriorate, and you’ll go back to being skin and bones always on the verge of falling apart.

Some of your best writing was never meant for anybody to hear. The best lines that you’ve scribbled down are diary entries disguised as music, as poetry. They’re results of your lowest and weakest moments, it just happens that there was a journal lying around and you thought that if you had to keep all that sadness inside for a second longer, you would burst. Those immortalized lines represent your heartbreak, your self-hatred, your sorrow and your grief. They come from a lifetime of unshed tears, from the burden of having a heart that feels too much but is always silenced. Words are your escape when time rushes through you like a child skipping stones. Everything hurts all the time but no one knows and you don’t bother explaining to anyone how you wish you could be a different person living a different life because it seems like the universe has made a mistake with this one. How it feels like a divine power has miscalculated and misread your false stoicism as resilience. Just because a person carries it well doesn’t mean they have to carry it at all.

Sometimes you like to muse that if anyone could catch a glimpse of what it’s like inside, they’d think, Wow. How are you holding all of that weight? How are you so silent through it all? How do you live with an ache so allconsuming that I can hardly see you underneath it?

It’s the only way you know how to express yourself. But even then, when you’re screaming and burning, you’re still quiet. Those words are your heart on paper, raw and bleeding all over the place, covered in a million cracks that no one can see or even pay enough attention to notice. They’re there whether anybody likes it or not. They’re right there, red ink staining white pages, begging in a voice small like a child asking for love. Please see me. I’m here. Nobody taught me how to swim. Please see me.

But nobody does. They walk past you every day. They sit with you, smile at you and laugh with you. They leave you. They stay. They break your heart. Even when they love you, nobody sees you.

You love Taehyung, but you don’t think he understands. He knows you better than almost everyone in this world and he tries to help you in any way he can, but at the end of the day, maybe this isn’t something that a person can understand even if they want to. It’s worse, to realize that perhaps it isn’t because people don’t care enough to see it, but that no matter how hard they try, they can’t.

The only person who has ever come the closest is Jungkook, with his big doe eyes that always see through you and see into you. Sometimes, you think there might be parts of you that he could see but you still don’t. He knew things about yourself that you never want anybody to find out, and he loved you anyway. He went the lengths that nobody ever did because they all gave up after a while. Someone once told you that you felt like a fortress wall impossible to climb, that nobody had the time, the patience to wait for you. In other words, you weren’t worth it. Not worthless, just not worth the effort it would take to break down your walls.

But Jungkook showed up and tried, every day. The one person that you never saw coming. You might have resisted at first, but then you became his biggest supporter. You were rooting for him to know you, how fucked up is that? You were right there. He was so close.

And then he stopped.

You suppose that’s what makes everything awful now – to know that you should let go of him when he’s the only person who ever came that close.

You don’t know how long Taehyung has had to sit here, comforting you like this, but at one point, your stomach starts growling and you feel your best friend trying to hold back a giggle. Jungkook might have mastered the art of loving you, but Taehyung is an expert at comforting you.

“Shut up.” You wipe away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand and push Taehyung off. “Crying makes me hungry.”

“Should I order us fried chicken then?”

“And soju. Get some soju too.”

Jimin is a strategic trickster. There was no dance practice. He just ran around his apartment ten times until his breathing turned ragged, which if you ask anyone, was completely unnecessary. He’s very extra, but at least it was effective.

After he got off the phone with you, Jimin immediately went to your shared phone tracker app – today was one of those times where it proves to be the most useful. He stared at the little circle with a silly photo of you as it moved from your address to Taehyung’s with a couple pit stops along the way. Jimin giggled to himself when he saw your circle meet Taehyung’s, because at that point you two must have realized already that you’d been swindled. Of course, there was always a chance of you leaving the moment you figured out you had come all that way for no reason at all, but when Jimin saw after a couple of hours that the two circles are still next to each other, he knew that you and Taehyung made up already.

Jimin sends a message to your group chat, a simple hello but Taehyung knows what he’s trying to get at. The text thread shared by the three of you lights up with a selfie of you and Taehyung each holding a chicken drumstick and wearing a content smile. In the background, there are some soju bottles, a box of chicken and some fries.

Jimin doesn’t question why your eyes look a little puffier than usual. He just replies with a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. The triumph of his mini victory almost makes him forget that there’s someone else in his home.

Jungkook peeks over Jimin’s shoulder to peek at his phone, curious to see what’s making his friend so delighted. When he sees you and Taehyung on Jimin’s screen, he sinks again, heart sitting in the pit of his stomach. The words you told him just the day before ring loud in his ears, as if they haven’t been stuck on his mind, playing on a loop.

You’re such a fucking hypocrite.

You weren’t wrong, but man, did that feel like a punch in the gut.

He goes to sit across from Jimin, taking note of every single sound that notifies his friend of a new message. For the first time, he feels like an outsider, like he’s intruding on a private moment.

“I fucked up,” Jungkook admits quietly, cracking open a can of beer and taking a long sip. It makes Jimin look up and put away his phone. “With Y/N,” Jungkook clarifies.

“Yeah, I’ve been informed. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while.”

“In a while? When was the last time I did something stupid?”

Jimin doesn’t even have to think about it. He answers right away, “When you left her.”

Jungkook hums, unclear whether the noise is meant in agreement or just in acknowledgment. His tongue darts out to swipe across his dry lips before he breathes out. “I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t replied to any of my texts. I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“From what I’ve been told, you were a fucking asshole,” Jimin says lightly, his words emphasized with a chuckle like he finds Jungkook’s predicament so funny. “I can’t believe you would say that shit about Yoongi to her right after he confessed.”

Cue a pregnant pause, and a pair of doe eyes staring right into Jimin’s skull, unable to decipher if what he’s hearing is a joke or not.

“Yoongi– what?”

Jimin slaps himself internally. Shit. It slipped, he swears. “Nothing,” he sighs, but he knows it wouldn’t be dropped so easily.

“No. Not nothing,” Jungkook sits up straight and puts his chilled beer down on the table, missing the coaster entirely just to piss off his friend. “The fuck do you mean Yoongi confessed? Confessed what?”

Jimin sighs with pursed lips. “What else? What do you think he confessed to?”

Jungkook gulps, and blinks a few times. When? Why? Was that the reason you looked so distraught yesterday before all that shit went down between you and him? Who confesses to someone in a freaking break room?

Then Jungkook remembers that you and Yoongi went out for drinks last night. What did he say? What did you say? His stomach churns at the thought of something… happening between the two of you.

Jimin takes in his friend’s dumbfounded expression. “Why are you shocked?” he asks. “I thought you expected something like this. Isn’t it why you spewed all that crap about Yoongi flirting with her?”

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels like the guy is out to get me for some goddamn reason. I thought he was just playing with Y/N to piss me off!”

Jimin shakes his head, looking thoughtful. “Yoongi wouldn’t do that to her.”

“How would you know?”

“Because when they first worked together, from the things that she told us, the stuff that Yoongi would do for her, Taehyung and I thought he liked her back then too,” Jimin says. “This has nothing to do with you.”

It sucks. It fucking sucks.

“Should I go over there?” Jungkook asks, a newfound sense of urgency in his voice that borderlines panic. He’s acting like this fact that Jimin just dumped upon him is unraveling just as this conversation is taking place, but in reality, he’s one of the last people to know.

“And tell her what? If you’ve said sorry a million times and she hasn’t responded, then saying it one more time won’t change anything.”

“What am I supposed to do when I see her tomorrow?”

“Nothing? Are you incapable of leaving things alone? If she wants to ignore you, let her ignore you. If she wants to yell at you, let her yell at you. If she wants nothing to do with you, let her do that too. Why do you keep making things worse for yourself?”

Jungkook runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “So your solution is for me to just let her hate me?”

Jimin levels him with a look, which just annoys him even more. “You had no problem with that before.”

“If you’re not gonna help me, should I ask Taehyung then?”

“Don’t go to Tae about this.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t,” Jimin snaps, and it makes Jungkook falter for a few seconds before the petulance in him clouds his better judgment.

“Why? He’s her best friend. They’re practically joined at the hip. He’s gotta be able to help me with this.”

“You really want to go to Taehyung for advice on how to suck up to your ex-girlfriend? He’s the most protective of her. What makes you think he would be willing to help you?”

“He’s my friend too, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he want to help all of us be civil with each other?”

“Yeah, he’s your friend. I’m your friend and Y/N’s too. And you’re right, all of us should get along, but we shouldn’t be put in a situation where we’d have to try. You did that to us and nothing is going to be the same again. I don’t even know why you did it. You kept your mouth shut for years no matter how hard me and Taehyung tried to get it out of you. Now you suddenly can’t make peace with the consequences of your actions? Now you want us to help you win over the person you fucked over, who is also our closest friend? I don’t get you, JK. I’m starting to regret not letting Taehyung punch you back then.”

Jungkook stares at his friend. Is this shock that he’s feeling? He still remembers that night, because he doesn’t forget a lot of things. He can’t forget it. He had never seen Taehyung – who is usually so calm and cordial – get that angry before. His friend, who is a saint of a man, felt so much rage toward Jungkook that Jimin had to physically hold him back.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks. “You’re not used to me not being on your side all the time?”

He knows that. The only person who seems to be on Jungkook’s side is himself, and sometimes he isn’t sure if this is even true at all. What you told him at the dance studio’s opening party, what Jimin is telling him now, and even the things that Taehyung shouted at him a couple of years back – it’s all true. He knows these things already, but it feels different to hear them from other people. You’re all right; nobody is overreacting. To an outsider, it might come across as harsh, but to anyone who knows anything, it’s rightfully deserved.

Nevertheless, Jungkook admits quietly, “Actually, yeah.”

Jimin sighs, because he knows that his friend has no malicious intent toward you or toward anyone. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt you, any more than he already has. Jungkook is even more crazed now that Yoongi is somehow a factor in all of this. It’s the insecurities bubbling at the surface. He’s panicking and he can’t even see straight. This is just his own stupid take on fight or flight. It was flight for a while, and now apparently it’s not. Jimin doesn’t really understand it, but he gets that this is his friend’s way of dealing with shit. “I tried, man. I did. But it’s really, really hard to have your back on this.”

Jungkook is well aware of it too – that to leave you alone is probably the best thing he can do at this point. Everything he says or does seems to backfire; instead of pulling you closer, all he manages to do is push you further away and make you hate him more than you already do.

But in a way, isn’t that a good thing? Better to have you hate him than be indifferent toward him. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. You yourself blurred this line long ago. You can do it again, can’t you?

Jungkook sits there for a while longer to finish his beer, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. It’s clear what Jimin’s stance on this is, and no matter what he says, it’s unlikely that anyone will help him try and get back in your good graces.

Before he leaves, Jimin says something that makes him nauseous. Makes him want to fucking cry and kick something and speed over to your apartment just so you could reassure Jungkook that he’s still the one you hate the most. That all of your feelings, whether they’re good or bad, are still reserved for him and only him.

It isn’t what his best friend should tell him, but it’s what a good friend would say. It's not about Jungkook, it's not about Jimin or Taehyung or anyone else. It's about you, who has been hurt the most here.

“If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too.”

[10:48] Yoongi: Attachment: 2 Images.

[10:49] Yoongi: got yelled at for showing up puffy yesterday

You tap on the notifications and the photos pop up within seconds. It’s Yoongi at his Valentino shoot probably. He never used to send you stuff like this, nor asked you to come watch him at his photoshoots. Why would he?

You zoom in on his face to inspect if he really was puffy, but you can’t really tell. Maybe if you were a makeup artist with a sharper eye, you would see it. But under your regular-person gaze, everything seemed fine. Yoongi looked handsome in the pictures.

[10:55] You: you don’t look puffy to me

[10:57] Yoongi: so how do i look to you? ;)

[10:58] You: the fits look good

[11:01] Yoongi: i wasn’t asking about the fits

[11:05] You: and i’m telling you the fits look good anyway

[11:07] Yoongi: what about the model?

[11:10] You: are you fishing for compliments?

[11:11] Yoongi: what if i am?

[11:14] You: the model looks Not Puffy

[11:16] Yoongi: you’re no fun ;(

You consider your next reply for a moment. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. You want to send it. It seems innocent enough, and it’s the truth. A simple praise can’t hurt, right?

Your fingertips tingle just typing the words out. You’re suddenly so jittery for some reason as your thumb hovers over the arrow symbol that would whoosh away your message. It's a good kind of jittery. You might even say that you’re excited.

[11:22] You: the model looks good too

You put your phone face-down on the table, not even checking when it vibrates with Yoongi’s response to your latest text. It’s so weird that you’re feeling like this, maybe because it’s been so long since someone has shown an actual interest in you? Or is it because it’s Yoongi? If it were anyone else, would you still react the same?

It’s weird, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. You just aren’t used to it, or it’s been such a long time that you forgot what it feels like to be… wanted? You don’t think about it often but it’s true, you’ve missed the thrill of being chased.

“So… word on the street is you have a secret song.”

Seokjin’s voice makes you glance up, wondering who he could be talking to when the only people in the room beside him are you and Jungkook – whom you haven’t spoken a word to all morning despite him glancing not-so-subtly at you every two seconds. When you got here this morning, there was already a chai latte on the table with your name on it. The order was too specific for it to be Seokjin, but you didn’t say anything.

“The street?” you ponder for a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Is that what Yoongi calls himself these days? He’s been here for what? A couple weeks? And he’s already blabbed to you.”

“So it’s true?” Seokjin leans back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yoongi said it’s real good. Top shelf kinda stuff. And you know he never says things like that.”

It’s not a song, or at least that isn’t what you would call it. Maybe more like an essay composed of sentences that go together like misfit puzzle pieces. You don’t think you would ever rework it and pitch it to anyone because it’s yours and it’s personal. You would never tell anyone about it, and Yoongi wouldn’t have come to know about its existence if he hadn’t stumbled across it in your journal by accident.

“Don’t listen to Yoongi,” you say. “At this point, I feel like you should know that Yoongi tends to exaggerate sometimes.”

“He never seems to be exaggerating when it comes to you,” Seokjin muses. You almost blush, thinking about what else Yoongi could’ve told Seokjin. He doesn’t notice the split second in which your cheeks redden just the slightest, or he doesn’t mind it enough to comment. “What’s the title?”

You shrug, saying nothing.

“You can’t even tell me the title? Damn, Y/N. Are you the CIA?”

“I’m not telling you because there is no title. There’s not even a song, just something I go back to sometimes. It’s mostly just word vomit. I promise you, it’s nothing.”

“Tell that to Yoongi. He told me whoever’s gonna get that song is one hell of a lucky bastard.”

Again, what is it with the praise? You know working with Yoongi and being associated with his last album gave your career a boost, but you weren’t aware that he was talking about you with other people. Maybe he only does it with Seokjin because they’re close, but still, it makes you itch with curiosity.

“By any chance are you gonna give it to… me?” Seokjin asks, and seems to immediately hear how flawed it sounds. You stare at him blankly, trying to bite back an amused smile, and even Jungkook turns his head to look too. Seokjin’s ears turn red in an instant. “Okay, that came out kinda wrong. I’m really, really sorry. But you know what I mean.”

You continue to stare at him until his face is so flushed, you swear he’s like a tomato that’s about to burst. You can see why Yoongi likes to tease people this way. “Okay, boss,” you acquiesce with a laugh, relieving Seokjin of the fear that he genuinely offended you. “If the song ever gets to see the light of day, I’ll make sure to ask you to lend your voice.”

“Ah, so you admit it’s a song.” He grins brightly at your empty promise, making you roll your eyes half-heartedly. He goes back to his normal shade in a minute, no longer ridiculously red like a cartoon character. “What’s it about?”

You ponder his question silently, missing the way Jungkook takes this moment to glance at you. When you look up again, he’s already averting his gaze.

What is it about? That’s a question that you yourself have never really considered. It’s about everything and it’s about nothing. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s the infinite in-between. You give Seokjin an answer that won’t satisfy him, but it’s the truth.

“I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know when I do.”

He tuts at you, like he was expecting the obscurity from you anyway. “You’re really not beating the CIA allegations,” he says.

You flip him the bird, which only compels him to stick out his tongue and make a face at you. Then, he diverts his attention to the person who hasn’t contributed anything this whole time.

“JK, why are you so quiet today? We’re not gonna eat you.”

Jungkook mutters something to Seokjin that you don’t quite catch because the words come out of his mouth like an inarticulate mess, which is so unlike him. He sounds jumpy, like he’s too nervous to speak in front of you. Seokjin’s eyes land on you again as he mouths a confused What?

You just shrug, and Seokjin has to take Jungkook’s weird response as him having an off day. The man checks his phone, lets out a quiet whine, then addresses the both of you. “I have a shoot this afternoon so you two will have to hold down the fort, by the way.”

You come back from your solo lunch date to an empty studio.

Well, almost empty. There’s something new that wasn’t there before.

Another chai latte waiting for you equates to another apology hoping to be acknowledged. The paper cup is still hot when your hand reaches out to touch it. You sink into your chair with a sigh. You could laugh at yourself for feeling so nostalgic at the sight of a beverage in the middle of a workday.

Jungkook walks in about 15 minutes later, and the air turns suffocating at his arrival. He feels it too, you know he does.

You chew on your bottom lip until it starts to hurt, bite down on it until it almost bleeds.

“Jungkook,” you say, catching his attention. It looks like he didn’t expect you to initiate any conversation. It’s not like you want to, but you have to. You keep having to do this, because he just wouldn’t listen. “Stop buying me drinks.”

It translates to: Stop saying sorry. Stop trying to make things right. Stop doing things you think would make me happy. Stop making me have the same argument with you over and over again.

“Because you wouldn’t hear me out,” he says, and proceeds to repeat the one thing that you’re sick of hearing from him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” you verbalize it. “If it’s not about work, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to hear it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.”

“You do need to hear it. Because I can’t function properly until you know how sorry I am.”

“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Hear me out,” he says, sounding a little firmer now but you still catch the crack in his voice. “Please.”

Jungkook must take the way you hesitate to shut down him as reluctant permission for him to keep going, because he stands up and moves to a spot closer to you. Not close enough that he could reach out and touch you, but enough for you to see the tiny mole under his bottom lip and how it quivers when he looks at you.

Fuck. You’re letting him win again.

“Okay, fine. Talk then. I’m listening. You’re sorry, right? You keep saying you’re sorry for everything, but what exactly is everything? What are you even sorry about? Are you sorry about annoying me right now, or are you sorry about being a prick the other day, or are you sorry about leaving me five years ago? When did you become this pathetic, Jungkook?”

“W–what?”

“When did you become so pathetic?” you repeat. “If you had to come back, couldn’t you come back as someone better? Someone who’s sure of himself and has a good life, not this… person who has to grovel at my feet for forgiveness. Even when you were at your lowest, you weren’t like this. I don’t even know who this Jungkook is. What happened to you?”

If you think that you saw him at his lowest, then you’re wrong. He didn’t hit rock bottom until he’d left you and had to live with what he chose to do.

“You’re right. I am pathetic,” Jungkook agrees, dropping his gaze to the floor like he’s ashamed. “But fuck, I’m trying to be worthy of you.”

It’s a truth that he doesn’t want to face, doesn’t want to admit how very real it is until you’ve just said it and it fucking guts him. He knows his friends pity him sometimes, even if they don’t want to view him as someone to be pitied. No matter how much of a front he puts up, he knows that Jimin and Taehyung see right through him. They won’t say it to his face, and for that Jungkook has gotten away with avoiding this fact for so long. But to hear it from you, to watch you spell it out for him, it hurts.

He wants to mention Yoongi, but he doesn’t know how to phrase it in a way that wouldn’t immediately aggravate you. After all, bringing up Yoongi is what got him into this mess, isn’t it?

Regardless, he wants to ask you a question that he already knows the answer to. What does Yoongi have that he doesn’t? The answer is: A lot of things. Yoongi has a lot of things that Jungkook doesn’t, one of them being the self-assurance to not run away when it comes to you and what you deserve.

He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, because he’s scared it might drive you right into Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook can’t compete with a man like that.

He can barely keep up even with just himself in the running.

There’s a big question mark that pops up in your head, along with a slight sting in your eyes that you blink away. You’ve never seen Jungkook like this before. This whole time, was it not only you who was miserable?

He looks so small that it breaks your heart. For once, you aren’t sad for yourself but you’re sad for him. It never occurred to you that he could’ve been lonely too, having to keep all of this inside because you know he didn’t share it with anyone else. You catch a glimpse of him again, like you did when you were making ramen together in your kitchen while a storm was raging outside. In a lot of ways, Jungkook is still that kid stuck in an adult’s body, lost and scared and loved you. It feels like you could’ve seen him in the same ocean while you were just trying to keep your head above water.

The sight of him, so vulnerable and astray, placates you. Your resolve crumbles, but not like it was ever that strong to begin with. You suppose you could see why he was being a jerk to you. Even though it doesn��t justify what he said, you understand just a little bit where he was coming from. You find yourself forgiving him for some of it. It’s part of letting things go, right?

But no matter how much you want to reach out and comfort him, you know you shouldn’t. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? You’re confused and it feels like you two have been going around in a circle, looking for a solution that doesn’t seem to exist.

Coexisting doesn’t work. Telling him to leave things alone doesn’t work. What else can you do?

Why do you have to resolve a problem that isn’t even yours? Jungkook says he’s trying, but his efforts keep making your life harder and harder. You practically blew up in his face, then apologized for being harsh even though you were fully aware that you had nothing to be sorry for. You called him a hypocrite and now you’re ready to cave just because he’s on the verge of shedding a few tears. This constant back and forth between your anger and your reluctance to see that anger through is possibly the thing that’s hindering you.

You can’t – and shouldn’t – accommodate him anymore. You have to put your foot down, no matter how difficult it is with the lingering ghost of your past love.

Because you’re always weak when it comes to Jungkook.

Because you’re still holding onto something.

Because Jungkook will always be the first person that you have ever loved, and those four years meant a lot to you even if they didn’t to him. Maybe it’s even fair to say that you might never truly get over it, and that doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. Maybe he was never the person you thought he was, or maybe you never meant as much to him as he did to you. Somehow, that’s okay. It’s manageable because it’s routine at this point. You’ve internalized it. The years have taught you that sometimes, things get shitty just because they can and you just have to deal with it.

The intrinsic pain of the human experience. C’est la vie.

What a world this is.

Is it bad that you’re thinking about Yoongi in a moment like this?

Yoongi could be your future, if you’d let him.

You should let him. Maybe this is your answer right here.

“Jungkook, let’s stop.” He looks at you with crestfallen eyes, but you have to keep going. The only way out is through. “Let’s stop. You want me to listen to you, but you haven’t been listening to me. I don’t have the strength to keep this up anymore, and I have told you that repeatedly but you wouldn’t listen. Jungkook, move on.”

You pretend not to notice how his lip trembles even more. “What if I don’t want to move on?”

This feels like a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago. Five years ago, you should’ve screamed at him, cried with him, held each other as you both fell apart. He stripped you of that right and gave you no say at all.

“You’re being awfully selfish,” you tell him, but in your head, you’re already thinking about what his words actually mean.

“Have you completely written me off then? Is there nothing at all that I can do? Because I would do anything if you asked. You know that.”

Your throat is so dry that it feels like you’re swallowing sand. You dig everything back up again until you find the memory of that day hidden at the very bottom.

It’s terrible. He’s making you relive it again.

“I remember calling for you and you didn’t even look back,” you say, but your voice breaks toward the end. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

Jungkook just stares at you then, and for the longest time, neither of you say anything. This is the first time that you two have addressed the problem, properly addressed it instead of half-heartedly sweeping it under the rug like you tried to do.

You breathe in, he breathes out. You hate the way you feel, and you resent the way he looks like he’s breaking down just as badly. There are tears in those eyes, tears that Jungkook doesn’t let spill because he defiantly wipes them away with the back of his hand after a moment.

When he speaks next, you want the world to end.

“Then I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will.”

641 notes · View notes

newjeansimagine · 6 months

Text

14. School Library

"So, now you talk via Twitter, huh?" Hanni asked early in morning, making Minji roll her eyes.

"Like a tweet its so much" she answered, taking another sip of the americano on her hand.

"Replying people you know in real life on Twitter means you either their close friend, or that you accidently did it, wich wasn't the case" the other one continued, leaning herself in the wall, closing her amrs around her body.

"Just because you only talk to a bunch of strangers on internet doesn't mean everyone does." minji said automatocally, leading Hanni to stare at her face, analising her, like she always do when she's thinking in a way to tease her. "And we're not friends"

"Yeah, those straight-from-books words you say to convince yourself" she said, leading Minji to look at her.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused by Hanni's vocabulary.

"Just that manic pixie enemies to lovers shit you say everytime you talk about her" she answers.

Minji almost choked by her drink, but tryed to act like it didn't affected her. On the inside, the idea was making her feel weird. Enemies to lovers? Wtf Hanni.

"You're inventing words" she answered only, taking another sip, ignoring Hanni words. The other just giggled.

She just ignored. By far, she could see Hyein arriving school and talking to some of her classmates.

“So, your birthday is coming.” Hanni said again. “Are you inviting her?”

Minji looks back at her.

“Of course Hanni, what kind of monster you think I am?”

Hanni ignored. Looking around, Minji was feeling a little cloudy. Her mind came back to the latest events, and now some of those seemed so twisted. First the rumors in school... Minji really couldn't care less everytime someone whispered when she walked throught the school. Somehow, everyone thinking she and Y/N had a thing was not bothering her to the point she feels bad. But she knew it wasn't looking good to Y/N, she knew people were assuming horrible things about her.

Second, the way she treated Y/N ever since she arrived... only now Minji was sticking the pieces together, and noticing that the way she acted could give Y/N the wrong impression. Only now, Minji felt the need to make clear that it wasn't this idea everyone was having of her with a girl that was making her treat Y/N like that. It had nothing with Y/N's sexuality, but she was afraid that if she said something, the other girls might twist her words.

The third topic hit her the day before when they were studying togheter. The fact that Y/N was probrably thinking she was a rich, spoiled and prejudiced girl did not let her sleep at night. She wasn't a disrespectful person at all, she lived overseas for a six month period while studying english, she knew other countrys and were aware of the differences of her culture to others. She is open and accepting of differences and she even considered herself as an ally. God, her thinking that made her feel like a homophobe trying to justify herself. She was feeling nauseus.

When she saw Y/N arriving school from far, the girl didn't went to their direction, wich was a confirmation Minji made things weird between them. Minji was trying to hold it back, she added her to their group chat, she talked to her via texts, she helped her with homework... Just that nothing really seemed to be helping the situation. She knew a simple "I'm sorry" would solve things between them if they ignored the whole rumor in school, but she was just feeling botter about saying it. Minji wasn't the type who would ever get the wrong impression of people, but knowing she was so wrong about Y/N was killing her lately.

She shook her head. These days, you know, she would always spend too much time thinking about this girl. About what she would think of her, about how she percieved her. In Y/N's mind, was Minji considered nasty, boring or mean? Or cool, funny or pretty?

Why did she cares so much about what this girl thinks?

Argh!

Minji was having a mental breakdown and it wasn't even 7 in the morning.

As the time passed, she went to her class, not before her proclamed boy crush stumbled with her in the halls, making her brush, wich was an oportunnity for Hanni to make jokes about it the whole day. But Minji head wasn't on him. When she entered her class, the first sight she had was Y/N in the back of the class smiling with her head on Wonyoung's shoulder. Somehow it got her even more nauseus.

She wasn't a big Wonyoung fan. Even if the girls insisted she was nice and all, Minji didn't felt this close to her yet. The truth was that Minji didn't liked changes, she had great life, great friends, great grades, she didn't liked when something was a risk to it all. And somehow she was feeling like Wonyoung were risky for her, she didn't knew why, she just felt that territorial rivality everytime she was with her. The thing was that she couldn't take her eyes from the scene, wich lead her to sit on her table, and turns back every minute to check if they were still in that position. And they were.

"Seems like the rumours are gonna be something new now" Hanni comented by her side, taking her attention.

"Huh?" She asked, and noticed that Hanni was also looking at the girls.

"I mean, would people assume they’re a couple?" The girl said joking and it hit Minji deeply.

She took her eyes back to the girls who were invested on a talk, too close to eachother.

"That's stupid, Y/N should be focusing on her grades instead on date people" minji said fastly, and Hanni gave her a confused look.

"It was a joke, they're not..." Hanni didn't had a chance to finish her line.

Minji really couldn't tell why, but only noticed her anger while she was going to Y/N's place. She was suddenly standing in front of the two girls.

The confused look on Y/N's face was clear.

"On the break we'll meet on the library" Minji said to Y/N, her voice falling a little bit in the end.

'Uhm..." the other one tryed to formulate a sentence "for what?" Was everything she could say.

"Math." Minji answered. "We'll have our first math exam tomorrow, and honestly, yesterday you made it clear you're terrible at it".

Wonyoung looked at her with that friendly look she have on her face. Minji looked at her for a second and faked a smile. Wonyoung raised her brows, like she caught somehow.

"I wouldn't say exactly terrible" Y/N answered slowly a little embarassed, and it hit Minji she was being mean again.

"Yeah, but you were a little confused about arithmetic, so we still have to review it." She tryed to hold it back and look a little less... bossy? Angry?

The two girls looking at her wasn't making her calm down and only now she was backing to her senses. What was she doing?

"Okay." Y/N just answered, wanting to end the conversation. "Yeah, I kinda need some classes".

Y/N said while Minji was still standing, she really couldn't hear Wonyoung's answer because she turned around and walked away.

She felt embarassed at herself while she was going back to her place.

"What was that?" Hanni asked with a confused expression, laughting a little.

"Nothing." She answered, too embarassed of her own actions. Only now she noticed Hanni wasn't the only one looking at her and it made her wanna throw up.

Day was not going very well to Minji.

For Y/N the day wasn't the best also, but since when she had great days? :P

First of all, her alarm hit too soon for some stupid reason leading her to wake up too early and caused her to 1. getting early to school and 2. getting her math teacher to lower her grade (ofthr exam she didn't even do) just because she sleeped a little and because he’s a goddamn asshole that hates her.

Second of all, she'd forgotten her lunch and her wallet, so she were now starving unable to buy anything to eat (thank god Wonyoung had shared her sandwich or else y/n would be dead by now).

And third of all…

Her.

The girl in front of her in the library school with a serious look in her face, checking some calculations she made in her notebook.

Minji's head was down and y/n was staring. Maybe too much. Y/n couldn't really stare at Minji at all days, so she wouldn't lie she took this chance to do so. But y/n wasn't the only one staring. She could hear the murmur around them. The way Minji forced her to sit close didn't help the situation, she was afraid the rumour around school about them two would become different and people would start assuming things about them.

Somehow she couldn't stop staring at the girl in front of her, today she was different from the previous day. She had a little makeup on and her hair was in a nice hairstyle. She was wearing the school uniform and Y/n thinks its the second time she saw her wearing these, since they were not mandatory. She was beautiful. Argh. Y/n hated it so much. She was so annoying and so beautiful it wasn't fair. Just her skin, and her eyes, and her nose, and her...

"You're staring" Minji said suddenly, still looking at the notebook, without looking at her.

"Uhm, sorry" y/n couldn't help the embarassement, her face was a little red and all and she wasn't a person who blushed easily.

Minji wrote something, not looking at Y/n.

"It's ok" she said. Her face was blank, but her writing became a little inconsistent. "We should have brought food" she said changing the topic.

Y/n felt relieved that Minji didn't make a scene about catching her staring..

"Wonyoung shared a sandwich with me" y/n said, automatically. "I can bring something for you if you want".

"No. Its fine" minji said. Y/n didn't notice her tone becoming more defensive. "I can have something when we finish" the girl kept saying, a little grumpy.

"Hmm" y/n forced a friendly smile not knowing how to react to her. "How was it?" She asked trying to kill an awkward silence.

Minji wrote something else and looked at her, giving her book back, touching the other girls hand in the procces.

"You did great. 6 out of 10" she said, watching Y/N look at the correction she made.

"6 isn't good" y/n answered. Looking a little frustrated. She put her hands on her head, apprehensive about the test they would face next.

"It's more than half" minji answered, fastly trying to hype her up. But gave a step back. "But you still gotta pratice."

"Half plus 1 its not like its more than half, its like I only answered one more right than the minimum, so it doesn't feel like more than half" she answered, making Minji a little confused.

"Yeah, but one more means you know more than less about the subject, so the way to know everything is closer than far" minji said, and y/N looked at her, only to look away the next second.

"Yeah, you're right." She said and a 'thank you' almost came out her mounth, but she didn't said it.

"Mom's gonna kill me" y/n muttered. Minji looked at her and almost laughed about how scared y/n looked talking about her mom.

Y/n just had these expression of when something bad its about to happen, and she bitted her lips while her eyes nervously read the questions she solved.

She was sitting in the sloppy way that Y/N always used to sit, with her spine thrown over the back of the chair without much care, her fingers were crossing her own hair, to her own cheeks, to her own lips, like she did everytime she was concentrated reading something.

Minji doesn't remember how she knew this. Maybe she turned around too often to watch Y/N during class. She shook her own head. What was she thinking?

“Oh I almost forgot” Minji said, taking a invitation off her bag and giving it to Y/N.

“Next week is your birthday?” Y/N said, reading the invitation in her hands.

Minji rolled her eyes. As if it wasn’t written there.

“Yeah, I was not planning to do anything but it was the girl’s idea.” Minji said, nervously. “You can come if you want.”

She just notice this was the first real conversation they had, and it felt nice and light. Minji felt guilt, anxiety and interest, all at the same time. She was about to say sorry about the way she's been treating the other girl lately, but y/n interrupted her.

"Yeah, sure… ah, since we finished, I gotta go now" she said, getting up from the chair and placing her notebooks between her arms.

Minji who was too numb by her own confused thoughts, just closed her mouth and agreed.

Then Y/N left. And all Minji could think was what the hell just happened. She looked around, afraid someone could hear her thoughts or read the expressions in her face. But everyone seemed to just be doing their own things. For a second, she wished they were a new topic in school, but then she shook her head.

She couldn't even form a coherent thought. Minji just stood there for a few minutes until the break was over, trying to understand why her hand was shaking exactly where Y/N touched her and why her heart was beating so fast like it was about to fall from her chest.

materialist | prev | next

#minji imagines #minji x reader #newjeans imagines #newjeans scenarios #newjeans x reader #kim minji #minji new jeans #nwjns minji

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inchidentally · 4 months

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argh I think i know what the Reddit person is referring to, about Lando saying Oscar is just a good guy who happens to drive F1 cars: it was in some podcast last year but I can't remember which one 😭

and I'm almost sure that Lando's exact words to describe Oscar were 'lovely person', and that podcast episode was really interesting/insightful in general and I want to find it again so bad, but but re-listening to every podcast Lando's been on in the past year could take a while 💀😂

Maybe someone remembers it🤞

(the post anon is referring to)

oh my god THANK you for confirming he said that somewhere anon <3<3 I'll try to think myself where he might've said that I think it must've been fairly early on and slipped by before the Oscar popularity picked up?

UPDATE:

@mecachrome you're absolutely incredible even skipping it to the right part thank you!!

him saying they're both "just a guy in F1" <3<3

#landoscar #mctwinks #twinklaren #inchreplies #landoscar lore #lando about oscar #Lando interview

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arashrita · 11 months

Text

Don't say you love me, unless you do.

He didn't have to act like an arse. Sure, he was stressed and busy. That overworking dude seriously. But, you were only trying to help him. The only thing you said was

"Hey, Lucifer! Do you want me to help you?"

What bad thing did you say? Exactly, nothing. But, there's a thing you see, people take your love and care for granted and forget that you have feelings too. Humans do that all the time. Can you really blame the demons? Yes, you can. Because being a bloody prick can never solve anything. What's bad is bad. Dosen't matter what species they are.

He went out of his way and called you "Pathetic, insufferable little human", "annoying happy-go-lucky", "immature and insensitive." Lots of other stuff probably, you don't even remember everything.

You didn't cry in front him. Instead, you stared back with a raging fire in your eyes and snapped "Damn, what all of them said about you is true after all."

That rendered him speechless. Good, you won't let him tear your soul just because he feels like it. You are so done being the sweet and forgiving one. Have they really forgotten that you can feel? That's it. That's so fucking it.

You had stormed off from his office and requested Solomon to pick you up. Surprising, that you didn't break down in tears. You could feel rage bubbling inside your veins like hot lava. Damn him and his stupid pride. You wanted to scream and throw things.

"(Y/N)??"

It was Simeon. Yup, you ended up crashing in the Purgatory hall, of course. But why Simeon is calling in the middle of the night?

"What is it man?"

"Ummm... I guess you should go outside and see for yourself."

You huffed but eventually obliged. You already had a hunch about what it might be and that's exactly why you were reluctant to go.

Sure enough, it was the person—demon you didn't want to face. What? He is capable of pulling that puppy dog look? Well, too bad, you ain't falling for it, not today. Wait, are those... tear stains? Ah man seriously? He knows so damn well that you are soft. But bloody hell man he looks like shit and that's that.

"(Y/N), I'm sorr—

"Apology unaccepted, now leave. Goodnight."

"There's nothing good about this night when you are not by my side."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Lucifer. You realize that I'm not a robot right? I have feelings too and YOU—Mr, congratulations! you officially lost my trust."

Every word that came out of your mouth struck him like a bullet. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean anything. He made a grave mistake—again. He dosen't deserve anymore chances. Still, his heart wants you. His body automatically moves toward you.

"I'm really sorry... I-I know I caused a lot of damage. I feel shame... But, (Y/N), I love you..."

"Don't say you love me, unless you do."

"(Y/N)...."

You were doubting his love for you and that was enough to understand the weight of the situation. Well, it was him who digged his own grave, as simple as that.

His eyes welled up. You could see his hands trembling like crazy. Well, shit. You aren't supposed to give in. Not after what he did. You shouldn't welcome him back in your life. He isn't worth that. Or... wait... true, he destroyed your feelings today but... you can't deny that in countless situations he helped you in every way he can. Also.... watching him so miserable... You are supposed to feel the taste of sweet sweet revenge. Then...why it makes you sad...? Damn him for having such a strong hold over you.

"Lucifer..."

Whatever decision you take, it's going to be a turning point. Do you really want to lose him? Not really... The answer is crystal clear. You want him back.

"Fine, you know what you are lucky. But, I swear to god, this is the last fucking time I—

You couldn't finish your sentence. He was holding you like you will disappear in thin air. You could feel sobs wrecking his body. Now, who is the pathetic one? Probably, something you would've loved to say. But, no, you could feel the genuineness. Argh... why do you love him so much?

You blinked back the tears. Fine, just this once he will get away with it because you love him too damn much.

#obey me imagines #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me mc #obey me x mc #obey me headcanons #obey me angst #obey me lucifer #obey me angst to fluff #ohey me lucifer angst #obey me shitpost

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milkyst4rs · 1 year

Note

Hi hi! Can i request diluc childe and thoma (seperate) with reader thats gentle and dosent get mad easily but whenver theyre alone they curse like a sailor over anything that made reader pissed off. Reader dosent like showing theyre anger so they release theyre anger alone and got caught by them one day (maybe even caught violently stabbing raw chicken and vegetables while making dinner hahshs)

(Sorry this was long)

You good?

diluc, childe, thoma x gn reader. crackfic

thanku for ur request! Hope u like it🫶🏽 Thomas one is so fluffy☠️ can yall tell i love him

Diluc

Flowery, angelic, soft. Those were the 3 descriptors diluc would often tell people when they would enquire about you, his s/o. You were like a saint, always understanding, talking to the children of the town, picking flowers for him everyday.

So why were you angrily cursing at a pile of burnt cookies in the kitchen?

Diluc had just gotten home from his nightly batman duties and was concerned when you didn't reply to his usual, "I'm home, dear."

He heard a commotion in the kitchen.

"I swear on the 7 fucking archons, if this next batch of cookies doesn't turn out perfect I will actually kill someone."

Diluc's eyes widened. What was going on in there? He had to see if everything was alright. He slid the door to the kitchen open.

"Dear? Is everything oka-"

"holy shit- oh hey honey! Welcome home! How was your day, love?"

Momentarily ignoring your change in vocabulary, he took a scan throughout the kitchen. A burnt mountain of chocolate chip cookies stood there on the counter.

"I, uh. I see that you're baking cookies..."

"Mhm! I got a little bored, all the ingredients I needed were all here so I thought of making something sweet for you!"

"I see, thank you darling. It seems like you're having...some trouble? I've never heard you so frustrated dear, though I must say it is quite amusing."

He said chuckling, he walked over to the burnt cookies and took out a...cheese grater? He walked back to you and pushed the cookies and grater toward you, was he expecting you to do something with this orrrr?

"Adelinde taught me this trick, if you have burnt your cookies, just grate the charred sides and it will look and taste perfect."

"Shit, really? Thanks love!"

He has no clue how your choice of words can go from vulgar to sweet and loving, but he finds it kinda hot.

Childe

You and childe were polar opposites. He was a bloodthirsty son of a bitch and you were caring and nurturing, against violence and hate.

The people of Snezhnaya have no clue how the two of you got together but hey, it seems like it's working out well.

Whenever you and your boyfriend would go out for dates, people would hesitantly greet the two of you so they don't get put on the Fatui's hit list. You noticed this, however, and decided to tell people that you aren't going to hurt or put in a bad word about them. After awhile, everyone was happy to see you waltz into their shop, taking a look around and initiating small talk.

Today, you had asked childe to help you with physical combat, he gladly accepted of course.

He brought you to his usual practice area so he could teach you tricks on a dummy. Practice went well, you managed to build up stamina and strength in your arms.

"Phew! You learn quick babe! Let's take a break, wait here I'll go get us some drinks."

He pressed a kiss on your forehead and walked out of the practice grounds. You decided to practice a little more while waiting for him.

You were fired up. Landing hits and punches on the dummy like it was your worst enemy.

"Fuckin' bitch."

A kick to the head.

"Argh! Yeah that's right, cry little fucker!"

A punch to the jaw.

This was fun! It's a great stress reliever too.

While you were cursing at the poor dummy, unbeknownst to you, your lovely boyfriend was standing behind a wall giggling at your vulgar choice of words.

He had come back 3 minutes ago, no harm in watching his precious s/o completely obliterate his training dummy right?

"I didn't know you were such a fighter [name]! You can land hits physically and mentally, very impressive sweets."

You flushed the moment you saw childe walk to you.

"Don't you dare tell anyone about this. I was in the zone."

Childe chuckled and passed you your drink,

"Ok ok! You're really cute when you get all fired up ya' know?"

Thoma

Ah my sweet sweet boy. He thought he knew everything about you, that you two were made for eachother. Imagine his shock when he sees you repeatedly stabbing a boiled chicken while cursing at it.

Where did the soft and loving [name] go? Is the chicken okay? (Obviously not since it's boiled but thoma is too concerned to think logically.) He remembered you saying that you'd be the one making dinner today, he's never seen this kind of cooking method before. Ah! Maybe you're using a technique from...what's his name? Gordon Rambly? Corden Ramsly?

He jumped out his thoughts and rushed to your side, worried that you might stab your hand accidentally.

"[name]! What's going on?? Are you alright?"

"Oh! Thoma! Thank the archons, please help me. This dumb crusty ass of a chicken won't cook properly! I've been trying to make it nice and tender but IT KEEPS. GETTING. STIFF."

Thoma's eyes went wide as frisbees.

"Ah! [name], mind your language! People can hear you! And, the water has got to boil on medium heat, you set it way to high!"

"I DID SET IT ON THE STUPID MEDIUM HEAT THINGY. IT'S THE FUCKING CHICKENS FAULT!"

"Shh! Okok, come here. Calm down.."

He pulled you in for a warm hug, immediately your mind went blank at your anger dissipated. You felt him press a kiss to the crown of your head and you blushed.

"Sorry, I've just been a little irritated today.."

He laughed and held you closer.

"It's ok love. Come on, let's make dinner together!"

"But I wanted to make this awesome meal for you so you could relax...now you have to do all this. Sorry.."

He lifted your chin with his thumb and index finger, his gaze soft and loving.

"I am always at peace when I'm with you, love. No matter how mad you get."

He mumbled the last part but you heard it and giggled, leaving him a sweet kiss on the lips.

#genshin fluff #thoma x reader #thoma fluff #diluc x reader #diluc fluff #genshin x gender neutral reader #childe x reader #childe fluff #thoma x gender neutral reader #diluc x gender neutral reader #childe x gender neutral reader #THOMA <3

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iridescentscarecrow · 2 months

Note

Omg do you have more thoughts on Sunturine? I can't stop thinking about your post .

i am still so frazzled by the 2.1 quest right now so all i have to offer are my most incoherent of thoughts i apologise. by incoherent i mean

(1) diagram about rain & clothes -- trying to break down why their one interaction scared me so fucking much. do not expect to understand this without miracle but you can look at it anyway. something something regarding fate/luck. plus the inevitability of harmony is something we see particularly upset aventurine ("either choice, same outcome"). the fairness of the game. also yeah im reading a lot into the way aven's boss fucks over harmony supports.

(2) something something family. "do you love your family more than yourself?" sunday asks aventurine and in a way he's referring to (a) aventurine's own themes of family (b) robin (c) The Family (capitalised)

(a) is interesting because i'm considering particularly how he imbues in himself values from the <family> he encounters. "never resent the pain or suffering you're going through" / how he regards his luck etc. but also more horrifyingly the "all or nothing" from the [indifferent male], jade's way of thinking (she also calls him "child"). (b) sunday's caring for robin is odd too. if you've seen the harmony tb splash art i'd say look at the two birds in the picture. and the amalgamation of Family (c) in the shape of gallagher calls sunday brother. i think there's an overlap here re: the horror of family. thinking about sunday's letters... but the way they choose to engage with it is fundamentally little different.

(3) sunday's little dollhouse down to the particulars re landscape but the Nature of the people being so absurd. toys. the puzzles! him shrinking aventurine & the "rat / maze" use of words later in the quest. all the puzzles in penacony / hanu for example to do with shrinking/being in miniature...

aventurine -- how untouchable can you make yourself when you appropriate anything bad thats happened to you as part of your own self. and you clothe yourself in ways that defy the hand fate dealt you. "inherently unjust destiny". do you see how fucked it is when shrinking comes in here. but ratio mentions that aventurine and sunday think alike. i'm really looking forward to see where they go with sunday's impulse for control in later patches.

(4) sunday saying he needs a *servant* after harmonypilling aven. jade: "as a servant you should not disobey your master. yet you went and killed that man anyway." aventurine needs to also regard himself as an agent. argh. they prod at each other in interesting ways.

this is all i have [gathered from several dms] as of now! thank you for the ask, anon!

#hope this made a modicum of sense #i've been thinking about sunturine all week their dynamic is so interesting to me #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr 2.1 spoilers #aventurine #sunday #crow.asks #crow.txt

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sunelia · 9 months

Text

GOJO X READER: LOVERS

pairings: gojo satoru x gn!reader

cw: does not follow the jjk plot - gender neutral reader - established relationship - fluff - characters are both college students - might be suggestive at the end

synopsis: moments and habits you share with your lover.

word count: 1.9k

Gojo and you have a bit of a cat-and-dog dynamic. You like making fun of one another, sharing inside jokes, and even being childish together. You two are very strong-willed and have very intense personalities. You got to know him through a few mutual friends during high school. You didn't seem to enjoy each other's company at the time, or so you thought. Your conversations were solely based on teasing and challenging yourselves with dumb, imaginary quests. You didn't realized how much you liked being teased by this tall, beautiful, silver-haired man until graduation came to burst your bubble. When you did graduate and entered your university campus, you couldn't believe who was behind you, requiring you to hurry up while picking up your dorm keys. You both lost it as your eyes crossed his, lamenting to the universe why on earth you had to run into him again when you were just starting to stop thinking about him. As time passed, after bumping into him several times, you eventually grew closer over shared classes, study sessions, lunches, parties, and common interests. Laughter replaced bad jokes, silly pats on the back were exchanged for cuddles, and these glares were replaced by a tender and soft gaze. Since then, you two developed a close and sincere bond where communication and affection went hand in hand.

Movie night

You decided to meet up later after class to watch a movie to get the weekend off to a good start. After washing up, you packed a bag with extra clothes and headed to Gojo's dorm. You texted him, "I'm on my way, salt or sweet popcorn?"

He replied, "mmmh… sweet like you!" you chuckled. Man could graduate with a bachelor's degree in pick-up lines if he wanted to.

You arrive in front of his dorm at around 8pm and knock on his door. He opens and stands in front of it, greeting you with a large smile, his arm leading you inside.

“Welcome my dear, if you'd like to make yourself at home".

You scoffed. "What a gentleman!"

You place your bag in a corner as Gojo wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head in the crook of your neck.

He kisses your cheek — “I missed you, how was your day?"

"It was actually fun, we did some prototyping during my web design class. I'm glad the day's over though." You turn around and wrap your arms around him. You lay a gentle kiss on his nose and pat his torso.

"Are you hungry?" you ask

"I've already ordered some takeout, your favorite. I wanted to surprise you.“ He's such a caring man.

"Argh, i love you so much for that you know?"

"I know you can't get enough of me!" he laughs.

His phone rings "Oh, it's our food, make yourself comfortable, get changed, you know the drill.” he says, putting on his slippers in a hurry.

You take this opportunity to change into your pajamas and make some space on the little table in front of his bed. You hear the doorbell ring and see a proud Gojo handing you your meal. You settle down on the floor after he puts the food on the table. You began to eat in a cozy environment and decide together which film you'd like to see.

"Are you down for a comedy, an animated movie, sci-fi?" Gojo asks you while he turns on the TV.

"You know how indecisive i am, Gojo, it can take me an hour to choose. But i'd say i'm leaning more for an animated movie."

He searches the animation category and comes across a few results.

You decide to get up and clean the table while heating the popcorn in the microwave.

Gojo was sitting down, focused with his messy hair covering the tiny frown on his face while his arm was resting on his raised knee.

He turns his head in your direction "Is Big Hero 6 good for you?"

You nod and grab the hot and caramelized treat

"I love this movie, great idea!" you sit back down all excited on the cushions and move closer to him.

He started the movie while you hand him the bowl. The film goes well, you laugh, cry and enjoy the moment. In the meantime, Gojo has been able to cup you in his arms while you lie half stretched out between his legs. He takes the opportunity to stroke your hair, which relaxes you even more. Before he knew it, you were already asleep. He began to hear your tiny snores and couldn't help but giggle, "My dummy..."

He turns off the TV, pushes aside anything he might trip over, and gently wakes you up.

He hates to disturb your sleep, but he can't let you lay uncomfortably on the floor. Gojo undoes the bed to buy a little time, then tries to wake you.

“y/n, wake up so i can get us on the bed".

You were deep in your sleep, almost half-unconscious. The only answer you could give him was a compilation of half chewed words and grunts. You eventually got up thanks to him supporting you. He carried you carefully onto the bed and covered you before settling down. You unconsciously pulled him towards you so that his head rests on your chest. He blushes and hugs you tenderly as he falls asleep.

When he’s not feeling well

Everything was going smoothely. You had just finished your last class of the day and was heading out to the library to study with Gojo and some of your friends. You were soon joined by them, but couldn't see your boyfriend.

One of them asks, "Is Gojo coming?"

You replied, picking up your phone, "I'll text him, let's go in anyways." All you had to do was wait and sit inside with the others after the message was sent.

You concluded, "I'm sure his teacher held up his class for a few more minutes."

——

There was still no sign of Gojo after twenty minutes. You apologized to the group and decided to quickly leave the library to call him. It wasn't typical of him to not at least text you. You tried to call him, still no response. You sensed something was off, and you knew in your heart that you needed to make sure he was okay. You returned to the library, gathered your things, and apologized once again to the group, telling them you had an emergency. You speed walk towards the building where Gojo had his last class. When you got there, you saw one of his classmates standing outside and you asked her if she had seen him.

"He unfortunately missed today's class". she says You thanked her as you were already walking away. You knew his two “get away” spots when he felt the need to take a break were his dorm or the small park close to the local coffee shop he liked.

You chose to head to the coffee shop first since it wasn't that far. You slid between the students, holding the totebag that was menacing to fall of your shoulders. You arrived in front of the park and looked the surroundings carefully. No signs of his presence. His room was the only location that remained. Before leaving, you bought him his favorite strawberry frappé.

You reach his dorm after what felt like a marathon. You catch a break and knock on his door.

He was indeed inside, lying numb on his bed, his phone on the table. He heard you and is aware that you are standing outside. After a while, he opens his door in pajamas, his eyes swollen and red. You could tell that he really wasn't feeling well.

"Hey!" You softly cupped his face "Tell me what's wrong."

"I feel like I'm messing up everything. I've failed an important test, i've got into an argument with my best friend, and i feel like a total failure." he whines

"Take this," you say as you hand him the strawberry frappé, "a little sugar boost will do you some good." He took a few sips, and kisses your forehead.

"Secondly," you take him to bed and lay him down with you.

"Despite the weight of your worries, you must solve them one by one. You've failed your test, it sucks and you feel like you did all of that for nothing. It will take a little time for you to cool off, but you can always make up for it by asking your teacher extra graded work or to retake the test."

He looks at the ceiling, sighs loudly, and grips your hands tightly.

You proceed — "Now for Geto's case, you know that you'll be able to make it up to him, you just have to talk to him frankly. Honesty comes first, especially with him."

He gives you a weak laugh, "Especially with him yes, you're right."

You both lay there hands interwined until you turn around to face his side profile.

"It's normal not to feel good, you're human. It's okay to fail, to be sad, angry and even disappointed. Never say you're not enough again because you're worth it. Come talk to me or someone you trust if you ever feel like you are carrying too much weight. You must let it all out."

He gave you a hug as he suddenly lifted you onto his chest.

"That feels good, thank you so much, can you please stay with me?"

After care

Gojo had made the decision to invite you to his hometown so that you two could spend some romantic time together as the last three days of spring break approached. Even though you could occasionally cross paths at university, it was essential that you two stay together for a longer period. You had planned a lovely evening with a dinner date and a late night walk. You spent the rest of your evening at Gojo's house, and it's safe to say that you two needed to reconnect.

A warm atmosphere started to surround you both as the gentle touches on your thigh or on his broad shoulders grew more and more insistent. Finally, a languid kiss confirmed how you both felt. So you spent a delightful late night sharing that moment of intimacy you'd missed so much. Sweet and tender words exchanged in whispers and even delicate praises. The night's soft light cast a comforting glow over you as the moment came to an end. While silently panting, you embrace one another. Gojo loved looking after you after such a significant moment. He loved touching your belly, your waist or your face, and you enjoyed snuggling up to him, playing with his hair or lying on his chest.

Following that, Gojo felt it was essential to help you clean yourself, hence why he grabbed the first shirt he saw to give it to you, guided you into the bathroom while the water began to run. He took great care of you, assisting you in washing your hair by giving it a massage. He was aware that despite how frequently you shared such intimate moments, you preferred for him to turn around while you washed your entire body. He then cleaned himself after that and was the first to exit the shower. You blushed at the sight of your partner with that towel wrapped around his waist.

Once you were clean and dry, you changed into some comfortable clothes and went back to bed to finish the rest of the night by either sleeping in the classic big and small spoon formation or talking.

line divider Sea pink by benkeibear

sunelia.

#gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk gojo #gojo fluff #gojo satoru #established relationship #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #gojo x y/n #jujutsu gojo #gojou saturo #jjk #jjk fluff #gojo x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #sunelia

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