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asumofwords · 10 months

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The Sublet - Roommate!AU

Warnings: She/her pronouns, slow burn, angst. Tags will be added as the fic goes along. Sexting, Cregan Stark, teasing, f masturbation.

Pairings: Modern!Aemond x Reader

Summary: Living with Helaena Targaryen was one of the best decisions you had ever made. Meeting at university, the two of you became thick as thieves and quickly best friends, moving into a flat together. But what will happen when Helaena has to leave, and her quiet, brooding, brother moves in?

Notes: Hello angels! Thanks for waiting for the next chapter so patiently hehe, it is a long chapter because I refuse to cut it down or split it lmao. Also, the cafe story happened to me LOL, bastards owe me so much money... Anyway, I hope you enjoy! <3

Chapter 3: Cregan Stark

Things with Cregan Stark started off with a casual one night stand.

It was raw, it was heated, and exactly what you needed. You had fully expected for you to never see him again, going back to your daily routine without a thought spared. But when you had gotten another text from Cregan a few days later, the two of you hit it off.

Things were easy.

Casual.

Simple.

You liked the simplicity of it all. You needed something that had no strings attached after your previous ex; an absolute nightmare of a man who whored himself out and would then try to flip the blame you. You don’t even know what you saw in that man. The tipping point was finding him in bed with his now girlfriend, Johanna. And even then, he tried to blame you for coming home early.

But Cregan was different.

He was great at communicating, and a complete change to Jason Lannister. Where Jason was blonde, Cregan was a dark brunette. Where Jason had deep blue eyes, Cregan’s were grey, like a winter storm.

Cregan treated you like a human being, with autonomy and respect, and let you take the lead on what you wanted.

When you needed to feel someone between your legs, he would be at your house faster than you could Winterfell. And as much as you would have wanted him to come over, you couldn’t do that to Aemond on his first night in.

You texted Cregan back, telling him that he couldn’t come around that night, and explained the situation.

You laughed softly at his response, deciding to tease him.

Panic began to settle in your chest as you read those three fateful words.

Cregan couldn’t come here.

Not with Aemond only just settling in. You texted him back, with no response coming in on his end. You held your phone in your fist looking down at the chat, frantically texting him three more times, desperate for a response.

Your heart raced in your chest as you waited for him to respond.

What would Aemond say?

What would he think?

You couldn’t just bring over a man on the first night of him staying there. Especially with him already being so uptight. You knew that Alicent was a devout follower of the Seven, what if Aemond was the same?

You stared down at your phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard as you were about to fire off another frantic text.

Soon, three little grey dots appeared on your screen, and your breath held in your throat.

You blushed, warmth settling in your core.

Cregan, whilst he was kind and gentle, wasn’t always soft in bed, and had a way of making you putty in his hands. He had this air of dominance that surrounded him, most likely helped by his towering frame.

Sometimes you would push your luck, prodding him to react, and at those times he would swiftly bend you over his knee and land his hand across the sensitive flesh of your cheeks, bringing you to your peak until you couldn’t anymore. And then after, the sweetness that you had come to know of Cregan would come back.

But for the majority of the time, Cregan was a more attentive, sweet lover. He only became rough when you truly pushed him to it, otherwise he was content to fuck you slowly, sensually and watch you come undone beneath him.

Looking back down at your phone, you sent off a cheeky response.

You loved that the two of you could have such an arrangement. No strings attached, casual, and comfortable enough for the two of you to simply spend time in each others company without the need of anything sexual.

Helaena had tried to say that it was a situationship, but that implied that there were feelings involved, and as far as you were concerned, there was none on either end.

You watched as three grey dots appeared on the screen.

Your cheeks felt hot as you stared at your phone.

Cregan really knew you all too well, and although it had taken a while for the two of you to adjust and get to know each other, it was well worth it for this.

You jumped up from your spot on the couch, core tingling and went to bed, your heart fluttering in anticipation as you settled into your sheets. This wasn’t the first time Cregan had told you or guided you through some play when he wasn’t there.

A phone call here or there, voice notes on occasion, and more frequently, little text commands that seemingly came out of nowhere.

You loved it.

Reaching into your side table you pulled out your favourite vibrator, a small pink bunny shaped vibe that you could insert as well. Stripping your shirt over your head, you pulled down your shorts and underwear, kicking them away from the bed.

Texting Cregan back, you asked what you should do, acting dumb and coy to rile him up, but all he sent was a one worded response.

Pressing the vibrator against you, you let the vibrations pass up through your body, the sudden spark causing your back to jolt up off of the mattress. You breathed heavily as pleasure began to whirl its way through your body.

You panted as you thought of Cregan above you, large hands pushing their way inside of you, touching you, grabbing you. Pleasure wound its way up through your gut, winding it tightly, a coil ready to snap.

A small moan flitted out of your lips and you clamped a hand tightly to your mouth. Aemond was just across the hall. Fuck. You needed to be quiet.

Your teeth bit down on the back of your hand to muffle any sounds that you would make, but the idea of him hearing you sparked a sudden burst of pleasure through you, triggering your orgasm.

Your back arched off of the bed as you whined quietly into the room, eyes scrunched shut as warm spread through your limbs.

Soon the vibrations became too much and you tossed the vibe on the opposite side of the bed as you came down from your high, chest rising and falling lazily.

Reaching for your phone, you texted Cregan that you had done what he had told you to do, smiling lazily at your phone as you waited for him to respond.

He sent a quick, 'Good girl' response which was shortly followed by a 'Go to sleep xx'.

The text made your core clench and a small moan escaped from your lips, grinning at the praise. You texted him goodnight before setting your alarms for the morning. You rolled over in bed, the nervous energy having slipped away from your body and the warm buzz of your orgasm pull you down into a gentle sleep.

The loud beeping of your alarm jerked you from your sleep.

You groaned, turning to hit the snooze button on your phone as you rolled onto your back, staring up at the roof as you sighed. You blinked sluggishly at the ceiling medallion until the snoozed alarm blared loudly at you again.

You dragged yourself from your sheets, pulling on your clothes for work, limbs feeling heavy as you worked them into some high waisted suit pants that made your ass look great.

Slowly but surely, you made your way out of your room and to the bathroom to put some makeup on and do your hair.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, hair atop your head in a rats nest, sleep in your eyes and fatigue in your features. You sighed and got to work, quickly making yourself presentable before getting ready to leave.

When you exited the bathroom, you noted that Aemond’s door was open, and when you peaked inside, Helaena’s bed was already made. You looked down the hall as you began to make your way to the kitchen, hoping that he was just an early riser, and that the alarm hadn’t jerked him from his sleep.

Your suspicions were confirmed when you entered the lounge room and kitchen, with Aemond nowhere to be found. You put the kettle on to make yourself a cup of tea to help you wake up, leaning against the cabinets lazily.

You really didn’t want to go to work today.

You almost dreaded it every time.

Whilst the pay was good, amazing even, and the work was not too stressful, Larys was a certified pain in yours and everyone else’s ass. You didn’t know what Alicent saw in him, or why she had made him COO over Rhaenyra.

Though you supposed that’s why the company had split apart.

Daemon and Rhaenyra took their best lawyers with them, the firm being flipped upside down by the sudden and brutal change. The pair were a force to be reckoned with, a true power couple, and if you were being honest, you were in awe of them.

The odds were against them when they split from Viserys’ legacy, but were quick to gather their support from loyal coworkers, starting from the ground up.

Making quick work of it, ‘Perzys Ānogār Legal’ (Blood and Fire) became rivals with ‘Red Keep Law’.

You drained your cup of tea, putting the mug in the washer before grabbing your bag and getting ready to leave. Helaena’s keys gone from the bowl, an even bigger confirmation of Aemond’s absence. You wondered where he went.

The gym maybe? A walk? Coffee? The possibilities were endless.

You had walked to the nearby train station and made your train by a mere second before the door closed shut. And by the time you had gotten to the office, you had made it on time, if not five minutes early to begin your eight hour shift.

Working at a law firm had its perks.

Everything was done by the books, which ensured that you were being paid a fair, and if you were being honest, decent wage, unlike the cafe you had worked at for years, who turned out was not paying any of the staff the correct wages, and refused to disclose the payslips, stating their accountants had lost them.

The payslips never existed.

You typed away at your desk, grabbing a cup of tea from the break room and a piece of fruit as you sorted through Gwayne Hightower’s schedule for the day, answering any emails that he received and forwarding them onto him. The next was Larys Strong’s, until the day flew by as you slogged away behind your desk doing menial tasks.

The clock ticked loudly on the wall as you watched it finally click over to 5:00pm. As soon as the hand hit the five, you exited all of the windows you had open, and shut down your computer, moving to stand.

You felt the presence of someone behind you and breathed in a sigh, as you immediately knew who it was.

“Running off?” Larys Strong mused, looking at the turned off monitor and bag you had slung over your shoulder.

“You don’t pay me for off the clock hours, and as of now, I am off the clock.” You smiled sweetly.

Your boss smiled back in a way a shark would to its prey, “We love a staffer dedicated to their work.”

“That’s why I joined the union. I am dedicated to fairness and upholding our rights as workers in this firm. See you tomorrow, Larys.” You turned away from him, walking to the elevators.

When you turned around, the thin, brunette man was still standing at your desk watching you, and as the doors closed, you could have sworn his eyes flitted down your legs to your feet again.

Ew.

When you had gotten on the train, you checked your phone, sending a quick text to Helaena to see how she was doing. She responded almost immediately, saying she was fine and hungry, but that she was going out for dinner with Daeron tonight before they would both depart together to Kings Landing in the morning. You asked for pictures of the food and talked pointlessly until you got home.

Arriving back at the flat, you found it quiet and empty, a definite change to the apartment bursting with life when you came home to Helaena. She was always either playing music, had a show on, or was talking or singing to herself. There was never not noise in the flat, and without it, it seemed to drain the life from the walls.

Though you supposed that it would be quiet, what with Aemond’s lack of conversational skills.

Come to think of it, was it lack of skills, or lack of want? Maybe he didn’t wish to speak to you. Maybe, he was rude. You would find out soon enough, but in the present moment, it felt like the latter.

You called out to your best friends brother, wondering if the silver haired Targaryen was somewhere, hiding in the shadows, and when no reply came back, you dropped the thought all together.

Kicking your shoes off you dropped your keys into the little dish by the door and made your way inside, dumping your bag on the dining room table. You stretched up on your tiptoes, letting a small groan fall from your lips as you trudged to your room.

Digging through your cupboard you grabbed a pair of pyjamas and made your way to the bathroom to shower. You had turned the water on when you realised you didn’t have the speaker with you, so running from the bathroom you went to the kitchen where it last was.

Grabbing it, you ran back to the shower and put your phone on shuffle, music pouring out of the speakers as you finally delved beneath the steaming spray. You let the water wash away the stress of the day and sighed, cracking your neck as you tilted your head backwards, letting the water wet your face so that you could wash it.

The shower was large, and the faucets were the original brass that they would have been when the flat was made. And whilst at times the water could take some time to heat up, there was no denying that the water pressure was perfect.

You stayed in there for a while before turning off the shower, singing until your heart was content as you moisturised, steam filling the room. After getting dressed, you made your way to go back to your room, grabbing your phone and speaker along with your dirty clothes.

The sun had now set, and the blanket of night settled across Kings Landing.

Usually Helaena would be in your room on your bed, laying on her back or stomach whilst on her phone, watching videos or documentaries and waiting to ask you about your day. It was disappointment to not see her where she usually was.

Despite the music coming out of your speakers, and the soft whispering of the words from your lips, the apartment still felt quiet, empty. Desolate.

You left your room, deciding it was time to make some dinner. The lights in the apartment were off, and so you flicked on the various lamps and lights that were scattered in the apartment, staying true to the ‘No Big Light’ rule that you and Helaena had set, insisting upon the warm glow of multiple light sources instead.

Grabbing the sauce from the fridge, you wondered where Aemond was again.

Would he be gone all night? Should you be expecting him?

Opening the Tupperware you realised there was only enough for one more serving of pasta, and deciding that you didn’t know where her brother was, or when he would be back, you claimed first dibs and began to boil some water to cook the pasta.

Grabbing your phone, you flicked off a text to Aemond, asking if he would be home for dinner, before setting your phone back down and deciding to call Helaena. You put the phone on loudspeaker as you moved around the kitchen, listening to the ringing before her chirpy voice flitted through the speaker.

“Dōna Y/n.” Sweet, Her voice sang, Valyrian accent on her tongue.

You grinned down at the phone as you stirred the pasta, “Hey Baby Bug. I miss you!”

“Aw, I miss you too! I’m here with Daeron. Say hi.”

Daeron’s smooth voice popped over Helaena’s, “Hey girl.”

“How are you?” You leant against the cabinets, phone up to your face.

“I’m good, it’s been a while.” Daeron replied, you could hear Helaena whining in the background for the phone, “Heard my brother is there with you.”

You laughed, “He’s not here right now, so I can’t give him the phone to say hey.” You explained, looking into the bare apartment.

Daeron chuckled, and it reminded you of Helaena’s soft laugh, “Wouldn’t get much but a grunt out of him anyway.”

“Where is he?” Helaena asked, the speaker of the phone muffling as she grabbed it out of her youngest brothers hand.

You checked your phone for any notifications of his reply.

None.

“Dunno. He was gone this morning and hasn’t come back yet.” You sighed, stirring the pasta.

“Are you being nice?”

“Hel, I'm not being not nice. We shared I think maybe twenty words to each other last night.”

“20?" Daeron chirped, "That’s a new record.”

“Fuck off, Daer.” His sister griped, “That’s good,” She spoke into the speaker towards you, “He will warm up to you soon, and you can talk History, and Politics, and Poetry until your hearts content.”

You frowned at your phone, “Poetry? Hel, I didn’t say anything about that. Did he talk to you?” Suspicion in your voice.

“You’re in trouble.” Daeron sang, and you heard a loud smacking sound, followed by an ‘ouch’.

“I called him this morning to make sure he was playing nice.” Helaena explained, though her tone sounded sheepish, “I don’t need to come home to a dead brother and roommate.”

You snorted into the phone, “No murder in the house if one member isn’t present. Unless he’s hiding around in the shadows.” Your eyes lifted to the apartment, scanning the lounge/dining room.

“Hows Cregan going?” The youngest Targaryen asked, intrigue in his tone.

“Hel, you snitch.”

“I did nothing!”

You put the phone on the counter and stirred the pasta roughly with a fork, “He’s good. Strictly casual, though. Sex is great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Details, details!” Daeron chanted excitedly, Helaena squealing in the back even though she already knew the details, and had actually heard the action on one or more occasion, much to your embarrassment, and her delight to tease you.

“Great sex. Great dick. Great body. Treats me like a human being.”

“Bare minimum.” Daeron and Helaena chanted at the same time.

“He actually texted me last night.”

“What did he say?” Helaena grabbed the phone, Daeron cursing his sister in the background.

“Wanted to come over.”

“Did you let him?”

“Hel, no. Aemond has only just got here. I can’t just bring Cregan over on his first night in.”

“Scandalous.” Daeron snickered.

“Shut up, you. Like you can talk.” Helaena argued, “What about when mum caught you with Kermit Tully?”

A gasp came from the other end of the phone, and you screamed.

“Kermit Tully?” You said in disbelief, “You fucked Kermy?! Sweet baby Kermy? Red headed, soft natured, Kermy?”

“He wasn’t soft, I can tell you that much.” Daeron smirked.

You and Helaena both squealed.

“Oh my god. Now I want details!” You giggled, straining the pasta.

“Come to the Keep with us and I will give you all the juicy story of my long, hard, rough, night with the Kermit Tully.”

Putting your pasta in a bowl, you poured the sauce over the top, “Okay, well now I might have to come join you. But I don’t want to intrude with your fam.”

“Nonsense, you are family!” Helaena said lovingly.

“Naw, you lil cutie.” You grinned at your phone, carrying it over to the couch, “Don’t speak too soon though, I'm going to have to love you and leave you, I gotta eat my dinner.”

Daeron huffed, “Oh, so you just wanted the tea and now you’re going to leave us.”

“Yep!” You smirked, “I love you both, and bloody hell Helaena, FaceTime me this week. I’m having Targaryen withdrawals.”

“Just look at my brother and you’ll be fine.”

“Fuck off.”

“Love you!"

“Love you. Bye!"

“Bye, scuttle bug.”

The line ended and you put your phone down, turning the tv on with a flick and settling into the cushions with your bowl in your lap. Dance Moms played as you ate the pasta, with still no sign of Aemond. You checked your phone again.

He had left you on read.

Dick.

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3

Taglist:

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margotwhites · 3 months

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Jason Todd x Singer reader (fem)

Author's note: I received such a surprisingly positive reply from this! I haven't posted in months, so this caught me off guard completely. (Yes 15 notes is good for me lmao 🥹) In this version, Jason knows who reader are since the beginning. I thought it'd be more fun.

So, basically this a longer version of the first part + a second part. I intend to write this in chapters. Enjoy and please give me your thoughts ❤️

Part two:

----------------------------------------------------------------

Jason Todd knew one thing or two about twitter. Or X, whatever. The thing is: he's at least three times a month in the trending topics. Not him exactly, but Red Hood. Red Hood is always there.

It goes from people hating on him, to young girls (psycho's in his opinion) calling him babygirl or daddy. He doesn't understands and he doesn't want to. He's not much one from social media, so when he is on the trending topics, normally someone from the family teases him about it.

This time is no different. Dick Grayson and Tim Drake are laughing way too hard. Looking from Tim's phone directly towards Jason. He sighs, closing the book he is reading. Currently they are all comfortably sitting on the library, eating Alfred's cookies and tea.

"What is it?" Jason asks, already regretting the question.

"Open twitter." Tim says, a huge smile on his face. Jason feels a chill down his spine because he knows it's going to be bad. Not that he cares. He doesn't give a shit about public's opinion.

But sometimes the comments about him, the mean comments wishing him to die... Those get to him. So he's prepared for that. For people hating, or for his fangirls fighting deciding who'd be his next imaginary girlfriend.

But he never expected to be shipped with someone else. He knows who you are. Everybody knows who you are. A talented young singer, that ascended till the top in less than three years. Doing some works on modeling from time to time for McQueen or Vogue or Versace, because you're that beautiful.

He wouldn't call himself a fan, but he does think you are musically talented. Anyway, everyone is shipping him with you.

And he doesn't know why.

"Why am I being shipped with her?" He asks, out loud. Before Dick or Tim can answer, Steph bursts into the library's door laughing.

"Jason-"

"I know."

She laughs again. He starts to scroll down the comments, until he finds a video of a live interview you did on Kurt's show, that prick. The journalist is famous for doing weird questions.

"So, everybody knows you have a bit of thing for vigilantism. How did that start?" Kurt asks, crossing his arms and giving the public a charming smile.

"Oh, it started with Batman, of course. I was a little kid when I heard the stories about the man that haunted the nights in Gotham. I am a L.A girl, but either way I absolutely felt enchanted. It's just so cool that is there someone out there that takes justice in their own hands."

Yeah, right. She's a fan of the Batass. Jason scoffs while watching the video, but continues anyway.

"And who is your favorite vigilante?" Kurt asked, leaning closer to her. He was a charming man, young and successful, just like her.

"Oh, Red Hood, definitely." She says that without a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Just a plain, simple answer.

"Red Hood? Isn't he a bit... extreme?" Kurt said, tilting his head.

"I think he is doing good in his own ways, and that is so freaking cool, you know? And I think his motorcycle is super... uh, how can I say? Hot." She says, and gives the public a little giggle. She continues:

"Which doesn't mean I agree with everything he does. But I find his persona interesting and refreshing. He's different from the rest, different approaches and all. It makes me curious about who is the man behind the mask."

"If you could say anything to him, what would you say?" Kurt asks, smiling.

"Oh! I'd probably ask him to take me on a ride with his bike. And to get a girlfriend. I think he needs a feminine touch in his life." She answers, with an amused grin.

The video ends and Jason doesn't really know what to think. You just said he needed a girlfriend. A feminine touch.

The truth is, he can't really disagree. When was the last time he felt a woman's body close to his? More time than he wants to admit. Months. Maybe more than a year. In his defense, it's not that he doesn't have the game. He just don't have the energy to play it.

Steph laughs takes him out of his wandering thoughts. He looks up at his siblings, an irritated expression in his face.

"Read the tweets, the tweets are the best part!" She says, chuckling again. Jason goes straight to the shipping hashtag. People saying they want to be Jason, people saying they want to be you, people saying they want to be the bed where you both - forget it.

He sighs and throws his cellphone on the couch, sitting back and beginning to read his book.

"That's it? That's your reaction?" Dick asks, tilting his head like a curious dog.

"It's just a bunch of tweets. People will forget eventually. Nothing I should worry about." Jason replies, not taking his eyes off The Catcher in the Rye.

Little did he know.

__________________________________________________

Okay. Maybe you shouldn't have said that. Maybe you were dumb and reckless. And now your agent and her team are almost killing you.

It's not your fault. You were always told to be honest, because your fun and outgoing (at least on stage) personality were one of your best traits.

"Are you crazy! This could have led to terrible repercussions. What if everyone focused on the fact that you support a murderer?!" Claya, your agent says, almost shouting.

"Well, they didn't. Now they are just shipping him with me." You say, trying to defend yourself. The truth is, behind the cameras and the stage and all the "popstar" persona you have to pull out, you are an introvert. You have two lifes.

"Yeah, and you should be grateful for it. This can even be a good sign. It seems people are interested in your love life. We can use that for our advantage." Claya says.

You adore her, really. And it's her job to figure it out how to make your career ascend. And she does it very well. But sometimes you just wish it wouldn't be about money or status. It would be just about how to do good music.

Anyway, you don't want to be ungrateful. You're living your childhood dream. So you take those thoughts out of your mind.

"Well, what do you have in mind?" You ask, blinking in confusion.

"We're going to Gotham. You're going to do a show there." Claya says, confidently and typing on her computer.

"Are you out of your mind? Shows in Gotham always go wrong. The Chase Atlantic show from last month was attacked by Pyg!" You say, trying to contain your agent's wicked ideas.

"Honey, don't worry. Maybe Red Hood appears in to save the whole ordeal. It couldn't be better." Claya says, standing up and closing her computer.

Claya and the team leave you alone to think. It's not like you have a lot of choice in the matter, anyway. If she says you're doing the show, you gotta do it.

But it's just a show, right? Nothing to worry about.

Little did you know.

#jason todd #jason todd reader #batfamily #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd deserves better #dc memes #jason todd drabble #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x you #jason todd blurb #jason todd fluff #jason todd smut #jason todd headcanon #jason todd imagine #jason todd x female reader #jason todd x reader

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beskarandblasters · 3 months

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Was it all a dream?

Chapter Four: Lovely to be rained on with you

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Series Masterlist | Series Playlist

Series summary: You’ve always had vivid dreams, an escape from your monotonous life. But one night, something appears in your dreams that keeps reoccurring; a pair of brown eyes. -Or- Two people, in completely different parts of the galaxy, find each other in their dreams and try to make sense of the strange connection they share.

Series warnings: reader is able-bodied, canon divergent (long live the Razor Crest), switches between Reader and Din’s POV, story takes place in the dream realm and the real world, takes place somewhere between the end of season two/Book of Boba Fett/beginning + middle of season three, eventual smut, line between reality and dreams gets blurred, use of Mando’a words and phrases, no use of y/n

Chapter summary: Picking up where the last dream left off; a physical connection.

Word count: 2.5k

Chapter warnings: fluff, sex outside, sex in the rain, fingering, oral sex (F receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, Reader and Din are very touch starved, hair pulling (Din’s), pet names (ner vercopa = my dream)

Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics Fic recs: @kelbellsficrecs

You

Is it possible to fall for someone who exists only in your dreams?

Well, he says he exists in the real world, somewhere in the galaxy, but you’re unsure. Part of you feels stupid for falling for someone you just got on good terms with, someone you just kissed for the first time – all of this taking place in a dream, no less. This newfound intimacy you just barely started to share with him has you feeling self-conscious. You’ve only had sex once. It’s hard to have sex regularly on a planet where you’re one of the only humans. And to put it lightly, the Sullustans… don’t exactly do it for you. You can’t wait for the next time you’ll see Din, wondering just how far your intimacy will go.

But as your dreams get more vivid… more enjoyable, real life grows unbearable.

Shoan has been transferred to your new department, yet again only working a few stations down from you. He’s been standing uncomfortably close to you on the shuttle to and from work. In response, you’ve resorted to stealing different blaster parts in the hopes of constructing one by yourself at home.

That you’d have a way to defend yourself if need be. But you don’t even want to think about that just yet.

There’s a small part of you that wants to escape, leave this planet entirely. Why not? Nothing is holding you here anyway. But the rational part of you tells you that it’s silly to leave everything you know (that is if you don’t get shot down in the process) for a man you’ve just met – a man you don’t know for a fact is even real.

In your spare time, you decide to find out if the locations you’ve been dreaming of are real or not. During time spent at the library, you found out that the first time you saw him, you were on the planet Coruscant. You don’t know too much about Coruscant other than it’s the capital of the galaxy. As for the other planets, you think the time you saw him at a market place you were on an Outer Rim planet. You just can’t narrow it down with one. The snowy planet was Hoth and the forest one was Endor. But as for the mountainous place bathed in purple light? You can’t figure out where it is or if it’s even real.

But when you’re not working or researching all you can do is anxiously wait to see him again, wondering where your subconscious will take you this time.

Soft rays of sunlight peek down below between holes in the clouds. There’s a lake in front of you, small waves rolling on the surface, carried by the wind. A grove of trees behind you is in bloom, clusters of petals fall off the branches and drift away in the gentle breeze. It’s peaceful here, wherever you are.

But where is he? Where is Din? It’ll only be peaceful here by yourself for so long. Too much solitude is ominous. If you’re going to enjoy this beautiful place, you want him here at your side.

You look down at your clothes. They’re different this time– a short-sleeved shirt and a long flowy skirt. Why are they different? Din’s clothes are the same. They never stray from his all-black attire.

You walk down closer to the lake, sitting just a few feet from the water’s edge. All you can do is wait. Maybe he’s not asleep yet. You close your eyes and relax, feeling the soft grass, ground yourself in the moment. After what feels like forever you hear his voice call out, “There you are!”

You turn your torso to get a look at him barreling down the rolling hill towards you. He’s

wearing the same thing– of course he is. And he’s got a wide grin, eyes lit up like he’s ecstatic to see you. He sits down beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder like he did in the cave.

“Someone’s happy,” you chuckle.

“Just relieved I found you.”

“Where did you… spawn? Wake up? I’m not sure how to phrase that.”

He turns and points over the hill. “Somewhere over there. I got nervous when I didn’t see you,” he says, turning back to face the lake.

“You got nervous?” you tease.

“...Yes,” he admits after a beat.

That makes your stomach flutter, knowing he was searching for you, knowing that he’d miss your absence. You should leave it alone, not persist the matter any further but you have to know more.

“Why?” you prod.

“I…”

He works through his thoughts as you remain silent.

“I know we don’t know each other that well yet but I like this, vercopa.”

Vercopa. What does it mean?

“Vercopa?”

“...Ner vercopa… my dream.”

His dream. Oh, how that makes your heart flutter.

“I like this, too,” you say, leaning into him more. You feel him let out a sigh of relief as if he was worried you were going to hate the nickname.

“What language is that?” you ask softly.

“I don’t know… I must’ve made it up,” he says, like he’s lost in thought.

You let it go, not wanting him to fixate on what it means. For what feels like hours, the two of you lean against each other, relaxing on the grass and staring at the lake. An environment like this is so foreign to you, one that you barely imagine even with the most vivid descriptions in a book.

Suddenly, it starts to rain. Not a torrential downpour by any means, but a meek drizzle. As soon as the rain hits his skin, he stands, reaching a hand out to help you to your feet.

“We should go,” he says, “Find some shelter.”

“Why?”

“It’s raining,” he says.

It’s raining.

…You’ve never felt the rain before. You’ve never really felt any of the elements before, besides the fleeting amount of sunshine you get between the walk from the shuttle and the doors of the factory. For as long as you can remember, you’ve been bound to the underground life on… wherever you live. You can’t recall where right now, of course.

“I’ve never felt the rain,” you tell him.

“No?”

You shake your head no and he sits back down beside you.

“I haven’t… felt the rain in a long time,” he admits.

“Might as well enjoy it then,” you say, returning to your rightful place, engulfed in his arms again.

You’re starting to get damp, but it's not a bad feeling. It’s not cold, either. It’s a warm rain that feels inviting, welcoming. You pull a way for a moment to look at him– the way his skin glistens in the rain, the water dripping from his curls, the way his pupils are blown wide, leaving only a small ring of the familiar brown that consumes your every waking thought. Maker, you want him. And you already know that you can kiss him in a dream… Does that mean you can do other things, too?

Your lips crash into his and he immediately accepts the kiss, like he’s been waiting for you to make the first move. He’s so… cute, in the way he’s shy for affection yet also so eager for it. Like the last dream, you move so you’re no longer beside him, but straddling his lap. For a second, you’re worried you’ll wake up, worried that this precious moment will be ripped away from you once again.

But you don’t. The moment is yours like the universe is letting you take hold of something for once in your life.

Din’s hands migrate to your waist, clutching you desperately, like he too is worried you’ll both wake up again. His touch sets your skin aflame even as you’re being rained on. It’s so nice to be held by someone, to be desired. It’s been too long since you’ve felt the embrace of someone who truly wants you. Continuing the kiss, you bring your hands to either side of his face, running your thumbs over his patchy facial hair. But then your hands migrate to the hair atop his head, fingers tangling themselves in his curly locks. And that does something. It pulls a deep moan from him.

“Too much?” you ask, pulling back but only a couple of inches so you’re still hovering over his lips.

“No, I’m just not used to that.”

“You’re not used to someone touching your hair?”

“Nope.”

“Well… Do you like it?”

“I love it,” he breathes out as if he’s just discovered a new thing that makes him weak in the knees.

You return your lips to his, settling down on his lap and feeling his bulge press up against you. His hands move to your skirt, pulling it up and exposing your thighs. You grind your hips against him as he sinks his fingertips into your thighs, holding onto you for dear life.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you chuckle against his lips.

“You don’t know that. What if we wake up?”

“Then we just go back to sleep,” you say, kissing him again.

“I suppose,” he murmurs against your lips.

One of his hands slides up farther on your thigh, getting closer to your groin.

“Can I?”

“I’ve been waiting,” you tease, pulling yourself off of him to lie down on the grass.

He moves to situate himself in between your legs and hikes your skirt up further, pulling off your underwear and spreading your thighs. He takes two fingers and runs them along your entrance, gathering at the wetness that’s already forming there. He pulls his fingers back and brings them to his mouth, closing his eyes and humming at the taste.

He slides one finger in, leaning forward so he’s hovering directly above your face, watching you react to his touch. Your eyes close, lashes fanning against your cheeks, skin peppered with tiny raindrops. Your mouth falls open as he curls his finger against your g-spot. It feels so good but you need more.

“More,” you beg.

“Only if you keep your eyes on me, ner vercopa,” he says, using his free hand to grab your chin.

You open your eyes to find his locked onto yours, a connection so intense it makes you shy. But the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the galaxy that matters to him, it’s worth getting past the shyness.

Finally, he obeys your wishes, inserting another finger slowly. You let out a breathy moan at the newfound girth inside you, feeling your pleasure build as he pushes against your g-spot with both fingers. Just as you think you’re doing a good job holding on, he rubs his thumb over your clit, and the floodgates open. Your orgasm washes over, your cunt convulsing around his fingers.

“Good girl,” he whispers, kissing you while still holding onto your chin.

He pulls back and rests on his knees, moving down to rest on his elbows.

“Oh! You don’t have to-” you start, but he cuts you off.

“I want to taste the mess you made, ner vercopa,” he says, warm breath tickling your core.

Without warning, he licks one long, slow stripe up your cunt, moaning at the taste of your release. He hooks his arms around your thighs, pulling you close while he laps at your cunt. You grind yourself against his face, his nose rubbing at your sensitive clit. In no time, he pulls your second orgasm from you, your thighs shaking and your wetness coating his face. He pokes his head up once you’re done, smirking at you with the lower half of his face completely soaked.

“You taste so good,” he says, rubbing his thumb along his jaw and licking the remnants of your high.

Kriff, that was hot.

Resting on his knees again, he pulls his already hard cock from his pants. He gathers some of your wetness on his hand and spreads it on his cock, giving it a few strokes. As he hovers over you, he aligns himself with your entrance, resting on his elbows on either side of your face. He kisses you as he enters you, your moans combining into one breathless sound. Your walls expand to accommodate his size as he buries himself to the hilt inside you. He draws his hips back and slams back into you, eliciting a sharp gasp from your lips. As he thrusts in and out of you, his eyes are locked on yours, his matted, wet curls sticking to his forehead. You bring your hand to his cheek, stroking his facial hair with your thumb. The whole experience is oddly intimate and romantic for someone you just met but it feels right, here in this field with the lake beside you and the raindrops glistening on your skin.

With one last final jut of his hips, you come undone around his cock. Your walls squeezing around him triggers his release, too, spilling his cum inside you as you cum together harmoniously. He remains inside you until he goes soft, giving you one more kiss before pulling out. He collapses down on the grass beside you, pulling you into his chest.

“That was amazing, ner vercopa,” he says breathlessly.

“That was,” you affirm, tracing a finger up and his chest. “It’s been a while for me,” you admit, poking your head up.

You wince in anticipation of his response, wondering if he’ll chastise you for your confession. But he doesn’t.

Instead, he says, “Me, too. And I’m sorry for coming inside.”

“I don’t think that matters in a dream,” you laugh. He laughs, too, and it’s a sound you want to hear until the end of time.

You inch yourself up closer to kiss him again, a deep, passionate, needy kiss.

But that’s when reality decides to be cruel. And you’re not in a field with your lover, wet from the rain. Instead, you’re alone in your bed, longing for his touch, and trying desperately to remember the nickname he gave you.

Din

It’s the same thing every time; waking up alone Razor Crest. This time was different than all of the other dreams he’s had with you. You felt so real. You tasted so real. He would do anything to go back and feel more of you, to hear more of your pretty moans. Being there in the field with you made him realize just how touch-starved he is. And all he wants is to be back by the lake with you in his arms.

In fact, he tries to go back to sleep but to no avail. It seems like that was in for now until he goes back to bed tonight.

But besides the sex, there was something else that was different about that; the rain and how you chose to stay in it. His first instinct was to seek shelter and stay dry, but you chose to slow down and enjoy the moment. You made him appreciate something as simple and mundane as the rain, something you’d both been deprived of for so long. And that’s why he likes you. He likes you because you allow him to enjoy the simpler things in life, things he would normally miss.

He’ll anxiously await the next dream and the next simplicity you’ll show him how to appreciate.

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Art by Roger Mattos

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#wiad #din djarin x reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin smut #din djarin series #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #the mandalorian x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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hellfire--cult · 4 months

Text

Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby

Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie

⚠️This chapter contains: Angst, fear of loneliness, family desires, mentions of nausea, slight insinuation of depression

wc: 7.3k

A/N: Sorry for taking so long! We're slowly arriving to the tension bbies.

Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!

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CHAPTER 14

It’s been… excruciating.

The past two weeks you spent them locked up and you have asked to work remotely at home. Your boss of course insisted that you need the time off, that she completely understood your position, and your emotions always come first.

You told her about Billy.

You told her how Billy was not in favor of Same-sex marriage, and adoption. He wasn’t in favor of Betas being able to be single parents either. If that information were to get out, the company would be targeted as unethical, and that’s not at all Liana’s principles. The company is completely in favor of the people’s wants and needs.

You really didn’t want to rat Billy out, because this meant that his opportunities would be lost, and it wasn’t done so you could spite him for his personal views. You just couldn’t keep working with someone who is against what your friends want, what your friends ambition to have. Jonathan and Steve want children of their own, and if the laws don’t let that happen, they will never have the family they strive for.

So Liana immediately called Ralph to look for another publishing company.

At first, he was crazed, yelling at her through the phone until she finally told him she knew about Billy’s facade about the same-sex marriage riots. Ralph was silent on the other end of the phone, and in three days, the contract was done with, and the company had nothing to do anymore with Billy Hargrove.

Now you, it’s a different story. You’ve been miserable. You could feel him everywhere, remembering him on your bed, laughing with each other, smiling like idiots as you told stories about one another’s lives. How he would cook for you and sometimes spoil you with gifts even if you told him you didn’t need any of it.

You wished you hadn’t noticed certain things that didn’t sit right with you. How he acted with your friends at first, how he would scrunch up his nose when you told him things you liked and he didn’t. How jealous you found out he was when he met Eddie. How you fought sometimes for very stupid things, like him not looking after his mess, or not caring about your thoughts about his friends and still dragging you to hang out with them.

So you stayed in. You couldn’t even go to work because you couldn’t look at that stupid closet for a good while. The closet that started it all. You know you have to move on from this, but it’s not easy, not after what you’ve been through before. It’s hard enough to trust someone into your life that way, imagine being vulnerable and let yourself fall in love with them.

You’re glad those feelings didn’t reach Billy. The bomb exploded, a little anticipated thankfully.

You have also neglected the group, telling them you needed time to cool off, to let it all sink before trying to go to their house, or them coming over because you just wouldn’t be yourself, and you would put the whole group down with your mood. The last thing you want and need is to also feel like a nuisance with your friends.

So, better keep it to yourself. You will get through with it alone, like you always have, with everything. There’s no need to bother others with this, not with the mood you have been handling for the past few days. You didn’t talk with anyone, Robin, Nancy, Eddie, Jonathan… No one, not even a tik tok or meme.

It was food, work, sleep, repeat. A shower here and there, and you knew it was wrong but it’s just your head playing a bad pass on you. You had been afraid of falling again, of it going wrong, but you thought it might be different, you really thought it would– Only for it to come crashing down as fast as it started.

How can you even begin to think that there is a chance everything will be fine later on? Will you ever find a destined one? If there is any at all? And with the laws, as they still are, your dream of a family is just–

Your phone rang, taking your mind away from your thoughts. You didn’t notice you were staring blankly at the TV screen. You didn’t even know what was on, nor you didn’t care. You grabbed your phone to see Robin calling you, making you sigh. You slid the answer button on the touchscreen and put the phone in your ear.

“Robs–”

“I’m not getting a no for an answer. Get ready, get dressed, we’re arriving in twenty.” You straightened up in alarm, eyes widening in surprise.

“What the fuck are you talking about, who is coming?” You were angry now because you didn’t agree to anything, you weren’t even asked to hang out, much less come to your house.

“Steve, Eddie, and I. The rest had to do stuff, so we are heading over.” Your breathing caught in your throat as you looked around your spotless house. You needed to keep your mind occupied so you cleaned every surface possible. Still, you never agreed–

“N–”

“I said I wasn’t taking a no for an answer.” And just like that, the line clicked. You groaned loudly in anger as you paced around the living room, tossing the phone towards your couch. You love Robin. You love Robin. You love Robin.

But fuck, you wanted to kill her right now.

And bringing Steve and Eddie along? For fuck sake. You looked down at your clothes and then at your room. You could easily not open the door for them. You can easily drive them off like that because they wouldn’t stay outside more than five minutes if you don’t answer. Yeah, you can definitely do that…

“Ugh!” You grunted into the nothingness as you rushed into your room to throw on the first things that were decent. A pair of jeans and a black long-sleeved turtleneck will do. You combed your hair as best as you could, throwing on some mascara and eyeliner to not look like a corpse. You looked into the mirror and you winced as you barely recognized yourself.

You definitely looked as if a truck ran over you. The bags under your eyes, the tired overall look on your face. You sighed as you scanned your face with your hands and then you looked at your hands. They looked dehydrated, and your nails needed some caring that’s for sure.

Did you really not take care of yourself the past two weeks?

You didn’t even notice how dejected you looked. You didn’t even care of looking into a mirror, and now that you do you barely recognize who the woman is in the reflection. Fuck did this hit you bad… You grabbed your concealer and tapped a bit under your eyes, trying to conceal the purple hues under them, wincing when it didn’t do much.

Did you even have food for them? Drinks? Shit… Should you order some pizza? You rushed out towards your kitchen and opened your fridge to see there were two beers, some soda, water… Okay, not much but there are beverages. You closed the fridge to look into your cupboards, wincing when no snacks could be found.

You groaned as you leaned against the sink. It’s not your fault, is it? You weren’t expecting them, so it’s not your issue if there are no snacks or things to satisfy their hunger. Yeah, it’s not. You never said yes. You let out a sigh out of your lips as you talked out loud.

“Alexa. Play whatever 80’s playlist there is.”

And the sound of Michael Bolton’s ‘How Am I supposed to live without you?’ came on. You cursed at the sky and you really thought you were cursed. You rushed to your phone to see how long it’s been since Robin called you. Fifteen minutes, shit, they are–

And the doorbell rang.

Five minutes early.

You groaned with a sigh, taking a deep breath in as you looked at the front door. Were you ready to face your friends? Were you ready for them to see you like this? They have all messaged you in order to talk to them, to hang out, to even try to do a video call with them, but you always declined.

Even Eddie tried. He sent you a bunch of memes in order to try to cheer you up, but you never opened them. You just didn’t feel like laughing at all. He had messaged you as well, telling you that he would go to your apartment without your invitation, but he never dared to do so. It seems all of them got tired of you pushing them away.

You walked towards the door and took a deep breath in as you unlocked the door, slowly opening it to reveal your three friends with a bunch of snacks, sweet and salty, and drinks in their hands. They stopped whispering to one another and turned to look at you and you noticed how Robin’s eyebrows twitched as you crossed your arms over your chest, a glare in your eyes. They were silent as you glared at the group for simply crashing without your consent until–

“You look like shit.”

Your eyes snapped towards Eddie and he had a cheeky smile on his face. You flipped him off as you walked backward to let them in. You heard a giggle coming from Robin and then their steps coming inside your apartment.

Steve closed the door behind him and headed to the fridge to put the beers inside, already taking four out. Robin put the snacks on the counters looking around to see your house completely spotless and she sighed. She knew that whenever you were anxious or nervous you cleaned in order to keep yourself distracted.

Eddie though, Eddie was looking all around. It was the first time he came to your apartment, and it was very spacious, but his was even more. You didn’t notice when you came by to his workplace, but he lives above the shop. You enter his home through stairs that are on the back, going up towards the second floor. His was more of a loft-looking apartment, those that have brick walls and industrial stuff.

Your house was more modern-like, a little minimalistic but with plants all around. You were very fond of succulents since there are a bunch at the top of your fridge. His eyes then went towards your bookshelf, walking towards it to start inspecting your books.

“So, what are you doing here?” Your voice was angry, yet there was a certain feeling, emotion, that told them you didn’t dislike their intrusion. Robin shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, Steve coming to stand next to her with the same stance.

“You expect us to just wait for you to talk to us? That can happen in a fucking month, and we are not gonna wait that long.” At those words, you couldn’t help but be mad.

“People need their own healing time, and you are invading it.” Your voice was cold, imperative even, and Steve’s head snapped towards Robin worriedly. Your best friend stood her ground as she stared at you, shaking her head.

“I wouldn’t invade it if you at least talked to us. I wouldn’t invade it if you at least came to work instead of working remotely, which by the way, fuck you for making me interact with other people!”

You wanted to laugh at your best friend’s exaggeration, but you had to focus on the fact you were angry at the invasion. You rolled your eyes at her and you walked to rest your hip against the headrest of your couch.

“You are still invading it without my conse–”

“Holy shit, you have Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to the dark-haired metalhead that was still holding onto the bag of candies in his hand as he inspected your bookshelf. You raised your eyebrow at him, wondering what the hell he was going on about.

“So?” You asked him and he turned to look at you, holding the first book in his hand.

“Seriously? There is better erotica out there sweetheart.” You felt heat on your cheeks at the comment, it’s not like it was your go-to in the book genre… But the bookshelf is indeed filled with smut–

“Hang on, does Eddie Munson read Erotica?” You said mockingly and you heard Steve let out a snort of his, covering his mouth with his hand. Eddie turned to put the book back and a smirk was plastered on his face as he looked at you once more.

“Knowledge is in any form sweetheart.” More heat, that’s for sure. You felt it all over your fingertips even, and you shrugged it off with a roll of your shoulders. He turned to go over to the counter to finally place the candies there. He took a beer from the four that Steve had previously taken out and opened it.

“Look, I know you don’t want us here, but we really can’t turn our heads and pretend you’re not okay.” Steve finally talked as he grabbed a beer and handed it to you. You could see the doubt in his eyes, the guilt of just barging in as they liked, and you could hear the slight apology behind his words.

You know that the rest would probably be here if they didn’t have work or other plans. You knew that. You gulped the lump in your throat that was already forming there because you had cried enough the first few days and you promised yourself you wouldn’t cry anymore. You were putting on a strong attitude even if you really didn’t feel like being that strong or confident.

You raised your hand towards Steve’s and grabbed the beer from his grip. It was a sign of acceptance that they were already here, and they wouldn’t go away any time soon. You opened your beer as you heard Steve opening his. You looked at Robin who was looking at you with sadness in her eyes and you sighed, shaking your head.

“I’m sorry Robs.”

Your best friend immediately rushed to your aid, wrapping her arms around you in order to pull you close. You felt your chest press on you because of the emotions you were suddenly washed over with. You didn’t know you needed an embrace until now, wrapping your arms around Robin made you feel the lump in your throat coming right back up.

You clenched your eyes tightly trying not to let the tears fall as you felt your heart tightening at the hug. You were immersed into your own sadness that you didn’t know how to get out of and probably all you needed were the people inside the room right now. The ones who care enough that they prefer to invade your privacy than to let you fall deeper into a hole.

Eddie was looking at you, inspecting your face as he felt the sadness radiating from you. Why are you holding back from crying? Why do you always try to keep a strong front? He knows what you’ve been through, and he knows it’s not something easy to let go, but they are here now to help you. You weren’t betrayed by your friends like you had in the past.

His chest felt a little tight as he saw you hugging Robin and he looked at Steve who had the same worried look on his face, but he let a sigh of relief fall from his lips. They have been worried about you for the past two weeks, and even in the short period of knowing you, he had been too.

You pulled away from Robin and she immediately flicked your forehead with her thumb and index finger, making you wince and rub the area she hurt.

“What the fuck was that for!?” You yelled at that and she giggled at you, turning to go grab a beer for herself.

“For being a fucking idiot.” You rolled your eyes at her but a tiny smile spread on your lips as you took another sip of your beer. You looked up from the can, seeing Eddie looking straight at you, and that made your stomach turn slightly at the intense gaze. Your eyes snapped to Steve who grabbed a tube of Pringles and your mouth salivated at seeing they were your favorite flavor, doing grabby hands at it.

Steve chuckled at your reaction and he opened it for you first before handing it over to you. Still, before you could reach it, Eddie immediately snatched it away, putting his beer on the counter in order to stick his hand in and take a handful of chips, throwing them all inside of his mouth, and making you gasp in disbelief.

“You’re eating them all!” You groaned at him and he only sent a smirk your way, and he could see how your eyebrows were slowly knitting together in the middle of your forehead in anger and annoyance. Oh, he missed that face. It’s been a while since he last saw it.

“You want some?” He pretended to hand the tube to you and you quickly moved your free hand to grab onto it, only for Eddie to snatch it back. “Too slow.”

“Eddie–” Robin was the one that talked now and Eddie looked at her still with a triumphant smirk on his face.

“Yeah?” And suddenly he was pounced over, your legs wrapping around his waist as you did a big jump, one arm wrapped around his shoulders as your other hand reached over to grab the tube of Pringles. He quickly raised his hand up, yelling at the sudden action, almost falling on his ass by the impact.

“Give me the fucking pringles Munson!!!” You yelled loudly and the arm that was around his shoulders immediately gripped onto the low ponytail, pulling on it, making him wince in pain.

“What the fuck Peach!?” He was trying to keep you two balanced as he thrashed all over the apartment while Robin and Steve started laughing hysterically and taking videos of the scene unfolding before their eyes.

“Y-You never EVER mess with her pringles. NEVER!” You wanted to laugh, you really did, but you wanted the fucking pringles that were on this bastard’s extended arm, out of your reach, so you pulled on his ponytail even harder.

His eyes snapped open at the sudden feeling he got, a part of him twitching that really shouldn’t, so he put you down and slammed the tube of chips on your chest.

“Fine, fine! Take your pringles, Jesus H. Christ!” He cursed and you just took the can in your hands and sent a raspberry his way, and the tight feeling he felt before evaporated just like that, a laugh escaping his lips at your childishness.

You followed with a giggle and Robin raised an eyebrow up as she turned to look at Steve. He was already grinning, looking at her but the two of them didn’t say anything. Nothing needed to be said. They stopped recording the moment as you started stuffing your face with chips and Robin instantly yelled at your greediness.

Steve chuckled as he looked at Eddie, the smile turning into confusion as he saw Eddie looking at you with a puzzled look on his face, yet a smile was on his lips. Steve tilted his head, wanting to talk to his friend only for Robin to almost knock the small table that you left your beer can on before you jumped on Eddie, making him fumble forward to catch the can as quickly as he could.

The apartment was filled with laughter in a matter of seconds, of yelling and curses. The apartment that remained silent for over two weeks was now full of life you didn’t think you missed that much, and now having it, you’re realizing you were wrong. Now you wished the rest of the group were here. You really wanted the whole group together again.

You needed them. You needed these people who showed you time and time that they wouldn’t hurt you, never intentionally, and even accidentally they would ask for forgiveness. Like Eddie did.

You looked at him as he now recorded Steve and Robin wrestling for a can of pretzels, claiming it was each other’s favorite, and you were just in a trance as you saw how he was laughing, here, in your house… That laugh you saw many times on Instagram stories when Nancy or Steve would post him. That laugh you never thought would ever be near you.

It was a nice feeling. It definitely was.

You were outside now, smoking a cigarette in the kind of warm weather despite the season. You let the smoke out into the air as you heard the sliding door of your balcony open and you turned your head to see who the visitor was.

“Well, Robin and Steve overdid it with the special Margaritas.” Eddie stated as he sat on the couch next to you, placing a beer on the small table in front next to the… Eddie grabbed the item and showed it to you with an eyebrow raised up. “A Mickey Mouse ashtray?”

You snorted and almost choked on your smoke as you giggled at that and gave him a nod.

“I thought it would be funny.” It was his turn to smile and shake his head as he put the ashtray back on the table, taking out his own pack of cigarettes so he could light one up. You leaned over to grab his beer and take a sip out of it, and he did not comment on that at all.

He never liked it when people touched his food or his drinks. He would always make a snarky comment about them getting their own, but he really didn’t seem to mind it when you took a gulp and put it back in its place for him to take it next.

He took a deep inhale of the cigarette in his hand and he turned to look at your profile. You looked happy, yet that feeling of holding something back was still present in your features. His eyebrows twitched slightly as he looked away and into the sky.

“You don’t have to act tough all the time, you know?” You were taken out of your thoughts as you turned to look at him with a surprised look on your face. You shook your head at him, feeling your heart falling slowly into your stomach.

“I am not acting tough. I’m just slowly getting over it.” You looked forward once more, taking a drag of your cigarette, trying to hide the twitch that just happened in your eyebrow, but Eddie knew he couldn’t leave until you finally let it all out. You’ve been enduring it all by yourself the past two weeks, there was no need to do that when they were all here.

“Look, I told you I can read people like the palm of my hand, didn’t I?” He said and you surely remember that. You scoffed and looked at him, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

“Yeah, and I’m still wondering if you have a superpower or just a stalker.” He rolled his eyes at your joke and shook his head, taking a sip of his beer and handing the can your way. You took it in your hand and took a gulp as well, putting the can back on the table.

“I am just good at reading people.”

“Right, and I’m–”

“Changing the topic.”

You closed your mouth and snapped it shut to be completely honest. He was staring at you, his eyes never leaving yours, and you felt an intense heat filling your entire body at the gaze, but it was a shameful heat. A kind of guilty feeling rising up inside of you that you couldn’t quite comprehend.

“L-Look… how I handle my problems is my own issue. I take me time, I prefer to be alone so I can think–”

“Bad.”

Your eyebrows knitted together in anger as you look at him, putting your cigarette out in the ashtray in front of you both. You were becoming defensive, you knew that, but you don’t know why he is intruding so much in your life when he should just back away.

“I always solved my problems this way! And it’s–”

“That’s a lie.” He wasn’t looking at you, but your face was on fire from anger, from nerves, from an anxious feeling that was building inside your guts.

“Excuse me?” You were going to explode at him, you really were, but then his face turned to look at you after he put the cigarette bud out on the ashtray, and your anger evaporated from your whole body at the frown on his eyebrows.

“You didn’t solve it alone in your past.”

Your heart was beating inside your chest, wanting to run out of your throat, and you could feel the blood rushing in your ears, and your hands started to become sweaty, extremely so. Your head turned, looking away from him and you wanted to run away because the lump in your throat was forming again. Fuck, it was happening once more.

“Sometimes I did.” That was a lie. That was a horrible lie. You always enjoyed the comfort of people, and the hugs they would give you in your moment of stress, of sadness, of anxiety. You always found stillness and calm when you talked to people about your problems.

Eddie was still looking at you with a saddened look on his face. He has been joking with you all night, trying to make you laugh, trying to make you forget… But he knew that you needed this. He knew it, and he wasn’t going to let you live this alone. If he knew something about life, it was loneliness.

“We are not like them.” His voice was calm but reassuring. You almost choked with those words and you gotta give it to him, he was one smart bastard. Your eyes were starting to burn and you needed to hold it in. You needed to.

“I know.” Was your short response, but Eddie didn’t hold back. He needed you to break.

“Then act like it.”

And that was enough for a tear to finally fall from the edge of your waterline and onto your cheek.

You were never alone in these moments. You always told Camila about your issues at work, about your heartbreaks, about your good moments, about your triumphs and your falls, and she had always been there. Always giving you a shoulder, always telling you that everything would be okay, always giving you advice and opinions on the issues you were going through.

You had someone to talk to, someone that knew you since little, someone that you thought would never, ever, not in a million years hurt you, harm you, or destroy you.

And what if it were to happen again? What if you were to open up to people that would hurt you later on? People that might rip you apart without hesitation? What if you opened up only for a knife to be stabbed back into your mouth?

It was wrong for you to put them all in the same bag, but could you really blame yourself? Could you blame yourself for how hard it was for you to trust someone entirely? It’s not that you don’t trust them, you just don’t trust the future. You don’t trust that everything will be okay. You don’t trust that everything has a happy ending. You simply don’t trust, so you move on tippy toes in order to not step on glass.

Robin was not like Camila. You knew that Robin would never do to you what Camila had done… but it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t. You wished it were. You wished you could see into the future to know that nothing changes, to know that you weren’t going to get your heart broken, but that was impossible.

How can someone trust another person as blindly as you trusted the one that hurt you?

“It’s not easy.” Your voice cracked. Fuck, it cracked. You took a sharp breath in, trying to calm down but he broke the dam. He broke it, and you were shaking trying to hold everything in, trying to tape it all back together.

“I know it’s not sweetheart… The last thing we want is to hurt you…” You didn’t miss the ‘we’. You didn’t miss how he included himself in that equation at all.

And for some reason, your chest filled with warmth at that, but you couldn’t contain the dam anymore. You really couldn’t, and Eddie’s eyes almost widened when more tears slipped down your face, uncontrollably so. The last time he saw you cry he had to hold back, almost painfully, in order to not go after Hargrove to beat his face in.

He protects his friends. Just like he punched that guy that tried flirting with Jonathan and groped him without consent. Like the girl that said nasty things to Robin at school and he dumped his drink all over her head. Like when he punched Steve’s father square in the face when he went to his house uninvited, only to see his father slapping Steve across the face after Steve came out as Bisexual.

He will always protect them, and now, you are included in that.

“I–” You had to snap your eyes shut as memories with Henry started coming back to your head, mixing up with the ones you have with Billy. You clenched your eyelids together as the memories turned painful with your resolve, with your heart. Eddie’s eyes twitched as he scooted closer to you but not touching you, even if he wanted to wrap his arms around you.

“You can do it, sweetheart.”

And you finally let that sob out of your throat. That lump that you swallowed many times during the night, the lump of words that needed to be thrown out of your lips but did not have the bravery to do so. And once that sob was out, many more came out after, tears falling even when your eyes were shut.

He didn’t interrupt your tears, your sobbing, your crying. He didn’t interrupt you even when he thought you were running out of air, he just let you cry without invading your space. He let you finally break down in peace, in a safe place, and he is joyful that you find that safe place with him. He knows you are not being evil to Robin, he just knows how to read people and he knows what they sometimes need to hear.

You knew your face was a mess, your eyes were red, your nose was snotty, but you couldn’t help it. You were letting out feelings that you held in for the past two weeks. Feelings that you pushed to the back of your head because you didn’t even want to think about it, you didn’t even want to say them out loud, but they were a great fear.

“I–” It was hard to talk, but you needed to do so. You needed to talk, to voice those fears out, to say what you are thinking, to say what you desire and what you are afraid of. Eddie noticed now that you were breathing irregularly, and even if he wanted to leave you alone, he didn’t want you to choke.

“Peach, I need you to calm down, slowly, you are choking on your breaths.” He now pressed a hand on your back, and you felt yourself feel lighter for some reason. Your sobs kept coming out as you took deep breaths in, but he was patient with you, guiding you every time you failed to take a long breath.

You might have stayed like that for a whole twenty minutes but he never stopped rubbing your back, coaxing you into breathing, but he wasn’t making you stop crying. He wanted you to keep doing that but needed you to breathe properly.

Your chest started going up and down slower and slower as time passed, a few sobs came out here and there, but the tears never stopped in quantity. They were waterfalls, just coming down and down, but you no longer cared. You didn’t.

And then Eddie finally saw your eyes again as you opened them. They were red, and glossy, your eyebrows were knitted together in the center of your forehead, and he noticed the pain that was being held inside of you. The grip on your back was a little harder now, but he reminded himself that he had to be gentle now, to push his own anger aside.

You looked out in the distance, and your throat was burning from all the sobbing, from all the crying, from holding that lump for so long, but it felt amazing. It felt as if a weight was lifted off your shoulders, of your head, of your body. But the weight in your heart was still there, and the only way to lift it–

“I’m scared…”

And Eddie’s ears perked up.

“What are you scared of?” And you took a deep breath in, and you finally opened your heart.

“All my life… I’ve always wanted kids. One, two… Maybe three.” A small smile appeared on your lips as you talked. “I know it’s cliché, but–”

“It’s not. It’s your dream.” Your eyes found his with surprise in them and he was looking back at you with an intense gaze you never saw from him before. You gave him a small nod and looked back down to your lap to continue.

“When I got together with Henry and when I got married… I was so happy, so excited. I told my mom how I couldn’t wait to start a family. Henry told me he wanted it too, that he always dreamt of being a dad.”

You cleared your throat as you felt another lump coming out thanks to the memories of Henry telling you all about the plans he wanted for his kids. Your mind was off again, lost in thoughts, and Eddie needed to get you out of there.

“He wanted kids like you…” Eddie pushed and you snapped back into conversation again, noticing you had stopped talking.

“Yes… He wanted them… Just not with me, it seems.”

Eddie’s free hand turned into a tight fist, veins popping out from the strength. He can’t do anything about it, it was your past, it was done with, but the anger wasn’t any less. He really wanted to kill that man. He just wanted to rip his head off.

“Peach–”

“And… with Billy– When I told him about this… He didn’t back away. He told me he wasn’t ready now, but that the idea didn’t scare him. That he always wanted…” A giggle escaped your lips as you remembered something and Eddie’s eyebrow raised up.

“What?” He was a little worried about your change in emotions, but maybe it was necessary for you.

“He told me he always wanted to name a kid of his, Eustace.” At that Eddie snorted, putting his free hand over his mouth as he shook his head.

“Okay, that is a horrible name. Poor kid.” He laughed and you didn’t hold back the giggle which turned into a sad frown as you tried to keep the sob in your throat.

“Yeah…” Your eyes drifted down to your lap, and you noticed how you were fiddling with your fingers, trying to keep yourself moving in some way. You felt your stomach in a strange amount of knots, almost making you feel sick. “But now, I’m no longer with him.”

“Peach–”

“What if I never reach that dream of mine Eddie?” You were fully looking at him now, and his eyes almost widened at the fear he saw behind yours. Fresh tears slipped down your eyes as you shook your head at him. “What if it never happens for me?”

Eddie was speechless. He never expected to see you afraid of anything, much less about your own dreams and convictions. He was staring at you as you kept looking at him, letting him finally see the pains and the fears that always plagued your head, finally voicing out what you’ve been afraid of doing for the past weeks, for the past year.

“Sweetheart, I’m sure it will happen, you are young–”

“And what if it doesn’t? What if I get screwed over again and again?” You knew you sounded crazy but the what-ifs always tortured your mind. They were always like little knives trying to dive themselves into your scalp, twisting in order to get to your brain.

“You don’t know that.” Eddie’s eyebrows pulled together in the center, slowly centering in the problem, realizing that… you had a reason to be scared.

“But what if!? I can’t– I won’t ever have children! And I don’t want to marry someone for the sake of it, I really don’t!” A sob escaped your lips, but you didn’t mind as you kept talking, “I can’t adopt on my own either because this fucking world sucks! Everything just fucking sucks Eddie!”

And Eddie broke, his arms wrapping around your frame to pull you into him, your bodies twisting in order to face each other, but not uncomfortably. You welcomed the hug, your mind no longer in defense mode. There was no fortress now, the dam was broken, the armor you put on for the past year crumbled completely.

One of his arms was wrapped on your shoulders to pull you into his chest, while the other stayed over your arm. Your hands went around his waist and found grip on his back, your face squashed in his chest while his chin rested at the top of your head.

And you cried.

And Eddie held you.

And you cried some more.

And Eddie never complained.

And you both had no idea how long you’ve held one another. You didn’t realize either how your cries made Robin and Steve sober up slightly and stand in alert at the door of your balcony while Eddie looked at them with a pained look in his eyes. You didn’t notice when Eddie shook his head towards them so they wouldn’t scare you away, so they wouldn’t stop you from crying.

Why with Eddie? Why did you break with him? How did he even manage to do it? Robin is going to be pissed at you again, and your mind was being evil to you because Robin was far from angry when she saw Eddie hugging you just now. She was relieved. She was relieved that she was hearing you cry.

You felt Eddie’s hand going up and down your arm, trying to calm you down, and your nails were digging into his waist, his hips, his back, trying to put your feet back into the ground, and he didn’t care. The pain that your nails caused him, he knew it couldn’t compare to what you were feeling right now. The fear, the sadness, the hopelessness of never getting what you most desire.

That is something he knows perfectly well. For he has his own that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get.

After a while your shoulders stopped shaking, your grip softened, and Eddie knew his shirt was drenched, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Who would have thought the woman he couldn’t stand months ago was now crying onto his chest as if the world was going to end and she had tons of regrets about things she didn’t fulfill.

You slowly pulled away from him and quickly wiped your face because you knew all your makeup was smudged. You must look like a mess but there was no energy in you to be embarrassed about this.

But fuck if it didn’t feel good.

You felt lighter than ever. Way lighter than when you were with Billy even. A fear that had settled deep into your stomach and you never voiced it out for him. You sniffled and stared down at your lap, your breaths still coming out like sighs out of your mouth.

You felt his bent index finger rest below your chin and he raised your head so he could look at your face. Your pupils clashed with his and your stomach did a jump. Just one jumpy knot. Your eyes were puffy already, your lips were still trembling, and you were sniffling nonstop, but Eddie didn’t look disgusted or thrown off. He looked calm, yet you could feel a certain empathy, a certain understanding from how he was looking at you as if he was saying a silent ‘I know how you feel.’

“You’re still young, we all are, and you don’t know what the future holds, so being afraid of it is useless and fruitless.”

And your eyes were looking into his, and you could see how he was always trying to be strong too, even when he knew what the future held for him and his uncle. You realized that Eddie had it worse than you… because he knew. He knows how it will end, and he is the one telling you to not think about your uncertain future.

“I’m sorry…”

It came out of your lips naturally, feeling selfish again for not realizing sooner how your words might affect him. He only gave you a small smile and with his thumb, he wiped one of your cheeks from the stains of your tears.

“Nothing to be sorry for Peach. It’s normal to have fears… but you gotta let life give you some surprises, okay?” Eddie replied softly, and you felt calm in his voice, in his touch and you only wanted to rest against his shoulder because tiredness was slowly consuming you. He seemed to notice and he rested his back against the couch and patted his shoulder for you to rest on him.

You couldn’t bother to feel ashamed, bothered, embarrassed, you needed the cuddle, the snuggle, the touch. You needed to feel warmth again, to feel care from someone towards you, from someone wanting to make you feel better, to console you.

You don’t even remember when you fell asleep.

It wasn’t until the next day that you were in bed, waking up groggily still in the same clothes from yesterday night that you realized you slept the night away and you didn’t even flinch when Eddie or Steve moved you to your bed.

You groaned as you got up from the bed, feeling your throat as dry as a desert, only to almost fall to the ground when your foot hit something on the floor. You looked down with a gasp to see Robin sleeping with her mouth wide open and the spare futon under her. You contained a giggle as you tiptoed to your desk and got a marker out.

You kneeled down next to your best friend’s head and you slowly drew a mustache at the top of her lip. You smiled at your work of art and straightened up in order to go to your kitchen, only to stop in your tracks when you saw Steve sleeping on your living room couch and then Eddie…

He brought the balcony couch inside to sleep in.

Your features softened at seeing his sleeping face, soft breaths coming out from in between his lips, blocking Steve’s loud snores away. He could have gone home instead of sleeping cramped and uncomfortable on your small couch. He stayed despite that and is sleeping soundly in your living room.

Your heart gave one thump. Two thumps. Maybe three.

An hour later you were making some breakfast. You took your time to go down to the street and go to the small market in the corner to get some eggs and milk in order to make some waffles in your waffle maker. You got some syrup and powdered sugar, then blueberries and some bananas.

It seems the smell of food woke Robin up, as always, and you heard her walking out of the room groggily but with a pleasant voice coming out of her mouth.

“Mmm, that smells so–”

And you turned around just in time as she cracked up in laughter, pointing at Steve’s face. Steve jolted awake, shooting up on the couch with his hair completely disheveled, only to then start laughing as well as he saw Robin’s face.

“What the fuck is that!?”

“Me!? What the fuck is on your face Harrington!?”

“Can the both of you shut the fuck up?” The last voice said in a really gruff tone that if it weren’t for the situation at hand, your knees would have buckled. Steve and Robin turned to look at Eddie only to snort loudly and then laugh even louder than before, making Eddie raise an eyebrow of his.

“Dude, your fucking face–” Steve choked out and then he immediately shut up, face falling. He rushed to get up and run to the mirror that was in a column of your living room. He yelled when he saw that all of his freckles were now connected all over his face and neck, like a constellation of some sort, a few childish stars drawn here and there.

Eddie’s eyes widened when he saw Robin’s mustache and got up as well, rushing to the mirror alongside her to check himself out. He had small horns on his forehead and his eyebrows were filled and put in the shape of an angered frown. He straightened up and your three friends turned to look at you as you started whistling while turning your waffle maker.

“Does anyone want waffles?”

At the lack of response, you slowly turned around to find Eddie already towering over you and you choked on a snort, closing your mouth tightly because he just looked like a cartoon right now.

“You think it’s funny?”

“A little.” At your response, Eddie gave a nod.

“Steve, Robin. Pin her down.”

You ended up having your face drawn on. Your forehead had a small crown at the corner, your cheeks had two hearts and for good measure, Eddie put his own touch to it all and drew a dick in the corner of your mouth.

And you all ate waffles with drawings on your faces.

End of chapter 14

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reyla-the-black-wolf · 1 month

Text

My heart speaks for you (Part 2)

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

Pairing: Eris x f!reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: angsty fluff?, angst, hints of anxiety, anxiety attack, nightmare

Summary: Y/n is the youngest child of the High Lord of the Night Court and lives a slightly different life than the rest of her family. But what happens, when an unexpected visitor enters the stage and decides to completely change her life?

A/N: Hey guys! It took me a bit longer to write this chapter than I had planned to (accidentally deleted a part of the story ups) but finally did it! And I recommend you listen to "Remember that night" by Sara Kays and "The night we met" by Lord Huron.

Anyway, enjoy reading! 😙

Part 1 ⎮Part 2 ⎮Part 3

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

Six days. Six days had passed since the incident in the conference room. Six tough days and not a single glimpse of him. No word, no letter, no message of any kind.

The water of the Sidra washed up on the shore in mesmerising waves, each time stealing a bit more of the glittering sand. Sunlight reflected off the mirrored surface, magically illuminating the facade of the River House.

The hammock I sat in swayed gently in the afternoon breeze and, thanks to Elain, the sun didn´t bother me too much. My aunt had planted two Illyrian oaks in our garden the year I was born, providing shade now that they had grown from tiny sprouts into strong, sturdy trees. As I became older, I found my favourite reading spot underneath them. They stood a few feet from the River House and were the perfect place to relax and simply be.

A piece of bark crumbled onto the pages of the book I was holding right now. `Feathers and Fire´ was written in large, ornate letters on the leather-bound cover. Nesta had borrowed me one of her novels to keep me company, as I had spent the last few days mostly by myself.

I give up! After reading the same paragraph for the third time in a row, I finally slammed the book shut. I had really tried to concentrate on the story in the last hour, but my mind had drifted off more than once. And always back to the same place.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

I was in shock. Or so I thought, as I couldn´t think clearly. My mind was racing and my heart was pounding so loudly that all of Velaris must´ve heard it.

Mate. Eris Vanserra was my mate.

I couldn´t believe it. I mean, he doesn´t even know me?

The beige sofa under my legs felt too soft, as if it wanted to pull me into a hug and never let go. And the ticking clock on the opposite wall made my ears twitch in annoyance, so I decided to get up and pace around the living room, trying to quiet my mind. I was massaging my temples to ground myself a little when a soft touch stopped me in my tracks. Small, gentle fingers starting to trail along my shoulder in a soothing rhythm.

„Sweetheart, look at me, please.“ My mother´s calm voice made me turn to her. „Everything´s going to be all right.“ She radiated pure love. „Whatever happens next, I want you to know you´re not alone. I´m here for you, okay, honey?“ It helped slow down my racing heart a little, but not enough. I sincerely hoped my father and his brothers hadn´t beaten Eris to death just out of anger.

Just as I thought of them, three men winnowed into the living room. With long strides, my father rushed towards me, some of his darkness still clinging onto him, and cupped my face with both hands. „Darling, are you all right? Are you hurt? Do you need anything?“ He asked worriedly as he inspected me for any injuries, whatever he was looking for.

I withdrew from his grasp, spun around once to show him I was fine, and put on my most reassuring smile to calm his worries, making his tensed muscles relax. „I´m so sorry. I never wanted you to see this.“ Regret seeped into his voice. „But…“ He paused, visibly struggling to find his next words. „Did the bond snap for you too?“ The question caught me entirely off guard, as I thought he was angry with me, trying to argue. I could almost feel my family holding their breath, dreading my answer. Silky hair fell around my face, casting tender shadows on my features as I shook my head. A quick glance at my parents and I knew they were having a silent conversation. Sweat formed on my palms as I unconsciously clenched my hand into a fist. With each passing second, an unpleasant feeling returned to my stomach, making me want to throw up.

It spread even further when my father turned his attention back to me, and my heart sank as I noticed the sudden change in his expression. A completely blank canvas. The mask of a High Lord. Others probably wouldn´t see through his masquerade of deceit. But I could. I did. I had studied his features over the years, every time he put it on. How his jaw tightened just an inch, noticeable only to the trained eye. How his eyes shimmered in a more vibrant shade of violet. I´d seen him in his role so many times that I´d learned to watch out for him. The real him. Not the High Lord, but my father. He kept his face sealed, but I could see what he hid behind that mask. Fury over Eris. His worry. But the strongest emotion was his love for me.

„I want you to stay away from him. Or even talk to him.“ Someone had just knocked all the air out of my lungs and punched me in the guts. I hadn´t been braced for what was to come. My pulse skipped a beat and the blood in my veins began to boil. He can´t do this! Voices shouted in my head and a lump formed in the back of my throat. But why? I didn´t even know Eris, even though he was my mate. I shouldn´t be so disappointed. He is practically a stranger.

At a loss for words, I stared at my parents. „We don´t want to make decisions about your life, but Eris is a... complicated man.“ my mother interjected. You mean dangerous.

„Wait, Eris is your mate?“ I flinched and turned around, only to spot my brother hidden in the darkness with a shit-eating grin on his face. „Finally something interesting is happening.“ he chuckled, earning him a slap on the neck from Cass. „Hey!“ he cried out as my father shot him a warning glare before continuing his lecture. „Darling, listen. We only want to protect you and make sure you don´t get hurt. And Eris is not good company. He has proven that several times in the past. So please believe us when we tell you to stay away from him. We have our reasons.“ And what are they? A knot tightened in my stomach when I heard Azriel whispering from behind: „Especially after what he did to Mor.“

But he is my mate! Even if we don´t know each other well, don´t I have the right to figure out what´s happening between us? My mind screamed at me. Say something! Anything! You know you can! I forced my thoughts to shut down. We would not have this conversation now. Fight back! But I didn´t. I understood that my parents were trying to protect me. They were angry, no doubt, but with the love in their eyes, I couldn´t argue against them.

So I only looked up and nodded, giving them a coy smile, even though it felt wrong. So terribly wrong.

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This moment had been stuck in my head for the past few days. Although I´d agreed not to approach Eris, somehow I still hoped he would talk to me. Maybe to explain when and how the bond had snapped for him.

Starlight? Az is waiting for you in the training ring.

Oh, right. I looked at the sun, which was already sinking deeper into the sky. Uncle Az had asked me yesterday if I wanted to train with him. We usually met at the same time every week to train, but over the last few days he had become more careful around me, giving me more space.

I quickly stowed the book away, not wanting Nesta to get upset if something happened to her beloved book. Changing into my fighting gear, I winnowed to meet Azriel.

„Faster!“ Azriel shouted, lunging forward, but not fast enough. I sidestepped his punch to the right, and in the brief moment his defence was down, I landed three swift blows to his ribs. He groaned in pain and tried to sweep me off my feet in one smooth motion. Just as I was about to dive again, my back hit the sandy ground, Truthteller at my throat. A sweaty Azriel lay on top of me.

He pulled me up, brushing the sand from my clothes. „That wasn´t too bad, but you´re less focused today.“ A questioning look crossed his face for a second as he looked down at me, then it returned to his usual straight expression.

I opened my mouth slightly as if to reply, but shrugged instead and walked towards the edge of the training ground, breathing heavily. Az only threw a knowing look in my direction. He knows. He knows how I feel.

We had been training for about two hours and I didn´t know how my muscles were still able to keep me standing, but anyway, I was grateful for them when I winnowed us back to the River House for dinner.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

After a quick shower, I now sat opposite to my brother at the wooden table eating dinner and it was truly a symphony for the senses. Wine glasses clinking. Knives scraping against plates. The aromatic scent of grilled steak and vegetables wafting through the room as my family engaged in a huge debate about who had the biggest wingspan. All I could do was smile at the silliness of it all and feel it seep into my soul.

My father stroked my back lazily beside me, probably to keep calm, as Nyx started throwing peas across the table at Cassian, who dodged them. It really was ridiculous. „Seriously! A little decency, please!“ Amren hissed at this `display of strength´. Mor chuckled, „They´re Illyrians. Do you really think their egos would just ignore it if someone with bigger wings came along?“ My mother nearly choked on her wine at this comment, earning an amused look from her husband. „Can we all just calm down a little before the whole dining room is decorated with pieces of food?“ A quick, stern glance around the table from the High Lord and everyone resumed eating, interrupted now and then by a few giggles.

Ten minutes had passed, and the others had just finished chatting about upcoming events in Velaris, when Amren apparently decided to break the comfortable silence. „So y/n. Has anything been happening with the Autumn Heir lately?“ The wicked smirk on her face made her look like a cat that had caught a mouse to play with. All of a sudden, the room fell silent and everyone stopped eating. I felt my father stiffen beside me, his muscles tense. „Amren.“ Azriel warned, a low growl escaping his throat. „What? Just a sincere question.“ Not impressed by his threatening face. Not in the slightest.

Of course, the incident with Eris had spread around the River House throughout the last few days, fuelling rumours, but the others hadn´t said anything to me yet. I should have guessed that it was only a matter of time until the tension would blow up.

I think I might throw up. I certainly wasn´t in the mood to talk about it with my family. Not today. My blood froze as I gathered the strength to look into Amren´s cold, steely eyes, which were fixed directly on me. She didn´t even flinch when my father shot her a terrifying glare that would send shivers down your spine.

Words began to flow into my mind, begging to be heard and a familiar feeling crept through my entire body, making my nerves go blank. It felt like I couldn´t breathe.

„Are you all right, dear? You look a bit pale.“ she said, making me feel even more nauseous. „Amren, don´t.“ Everyone had stopped breathing by now. „You don´t have to answer her question, darling.“ My father´s hand darted out to graze my fingers, but I pulled back at the sensation. „You are his mate y/n, aren´t you? Must be desperate to know why.“ „Enough!“ Pure darkness collected in the corners of the dining room, ready to consume everything. I´d never seen my father so pissed off. „Why would you say such a thing?“ Mor uttered. „Exactly! She´s my sister, I´m the only one allowed to make fun of her!“, Nyx joined in. „I´m in the mood for some trouble.“ she responded honestly, taking a sip from her wine glass, completely untroubled.

Everyone began to talk over each other, making it difficult to distinguish the individual voices. Tears welled up in my eyes as I covered my ears. The noise was becoming too much to bear. I sniffled, holding back a cry as I stood up and took a few steps away from the table. My chair scraped along the floor, causing everyone to turn around to me and all the shouting stopped. The tears began to trickle down my cheeks as my mother noticed them first, „Sweetheart, we´re so sorry.“ She stood up too. „We didn't mean to make you cry.“ Mor tried to reassure me, guilt clouding her voice. Everything felt too overwhelming. Leave. Walk away. Get out of this situation.

„Starlight, come here. It´ll be fine.“ He took a few steps in my direction, but I quickly held my hand up in front of him to keep a distance between me and my father.

„Y/n. Darling, we´re…“ But he stopped when I shook my head and scowled at him. Stared at all of them, anger written on my face, before I winnowed to my room. Leaving them all guilty and silent.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

With my back against the door, I sank to the floor, tears streaming down my face. It´s my life! I get to decide how I deal with Eris! Why do they keep talking about it like it isn´t my decision? Like it´s not my life?

My nails scraped the floor, attempting to hold on to something, anything, as I spiralled down a path I didn´t want to go. A guttural sound escaped my lips as my hand clenched into a fist and slammed into the expensive wood panels beneath me. Pain shot through my knuckles, making me want to scream. Anger. Fear. Emptiness. These emotions ran through my mind as my body shook with sobs. Why can´t I just talk? I want to, but I can´t... I don´t know... the words just won´t come out when I try. It made me even angrier when I thought about it. Do I not feel safe enough around my own family to talk to them? Or is there something wrong with me?

A knot formed in my stomach. I had never had a big problem with myself before. Not with my body, nor with my inability to speak to others. But now I wished, longed to talk to someone. Just someone who understood me. Someone who...

A certain scent wafted through the room making me pay attention. Was that smoke? I sat up straighter to observe my own bedroom. Books were scattered across the floor and the door to the neighbouring bathroom was open. My bed was made, covered in indigo silk sheets that shimmered slightly in the moonlight streaming in through the closed windows. A few plants hung from the frescoed ceiling. Nothing more.

My eyes were no longer watery and my heartbeat had stabilised. But I could still smell that there was... something. Parchment.

I looked over at my desk, which was littered with various rolls of parchment, papers and pencils of all kinds. But right in the middle. Something had changed.

Slowly, on shaky legs, I got up and walked over to my desk. A crimson envelope lay there, and next to it a shiny golden feather with light brown spots. I couldn´t remember putting anything like that here. It smelled of an open fire, fresh rain and a hint of vanilla.

Deep down I knew who must have sent it. I opened the letter with trembling hands.

・✧✵✧・✧✵✧・

Hello Princess,

Do you remember the night we met? To be honest, I can´t forget you. Standing on the balcony in your stunning gown, watching the stars fall upon you, even though they couldn´t diminish your appearance. At first I wasn´t sure how to approach you, but I did it anyway.

And it turned out to be one of the most wonderful nights I have ever had, and I wanted to thank you for it.

I could almost hear him chuckling to himself as a warmth filled my heart.

As you probably know by now, I'm your mate, but I don´t want you to feel obligated to anything that concerns me. It is your decision whether or not you wish to meet with me. ( Though I wouldn´t mind, of course)

A blush spread across my tear-stained cheeks and I instinctively smiled. He had thought of me. He really had. My heart melted like snow in early spring. Something about him made me feel complete and understood.

But if that´s the case, winnow to the border of Autumn in two days. I´ll be waiting for you under a birch tree when the sun sets. You can´t miss it. Sleep well, Princess!

His letter also contained a small note.

(Oh, the feather and the paper you write on will appear on my desk as soon as you write back).

・✧✵✧・✧✵✧・

I was speechless. Not just because he had thought of me or wanted to meet me. No. But because he would let me decide for myself. He wouldn´t force me to accept the bond, even if it hadn´t snapped for me yet.

Not wanting to think clearly at the moment, I did the only thing that seemed right. I broke the agreement with my parents.

I pulled out the chair, sat down, picked up the quill and wrote back.

Half an hour later, I was lying in my bed, surrounded by fluffy pillows and a gentle night breeze caressing my form. A few candles were lit to provide some sort of night light.

Just as I was falling asleep, footsteps came from the hallway and my bedroom door creaked as it slowly opened. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep, not wanting to talk to whoever it was. „Darling, are you still awake?“ My father´s voice echoed through the room as he peeked out from behind the door.

Just breathe. He won´t recognise it.

And he didn´t. He only walked over to my bed and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear, while the last thing I heard was him whispering: „I´m deeply sorry, Starlight.“ before he silently walked out of my room, leaving me alone.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not the slightest flicker of light. Total darkness consumed everything around me. No light, nor sun, nor any kind of something... soft. Something to keep me warm as the cold crept up my body, like a hidden shadow from the depths of darkness.

I gasped for some air to reach my lungs, but all I could inhale was dust. Air! I need air! My lungs began to burn from the lack of oxygen and a tingling sensation shot through my entire being.

I felt like a flame being smothered as a deep, dark wave crashed over me, trying to drown me, as if I were nothing. As if I didn´t matter.

The darkness drew closer with each passing second. Minute? Hour? Time didn´t matter in this place of emptiness. A place without walls or windows or even solid ground. The only things that trapped me were my own thoughts and the giant beast I couldn´t see, but felt. It swallowed everything around it as its claws raked along my skin, my soul, leaving scratches all over me.

I screamed, but all that came out of my mouth was... nothing. Every sound, no matter how small, was absorbed by the emptiness of this place.

My body was drenched in sweat and my voice must have been hoarse by now from screaming my heart out for I don´t know how long. Slowly my body was losing consciousness and I was drifting further and further into the devouring void as I frantically tried to breathe. Please! I need to breathe! My heart stuttered for a moment. Help... help me! Somebody! Please, I... Hot tears streamed down my face and my eyes slowly closed as I was suffocated and drowned by the beast that guarded this place. My body went limp, tired from fighting.

A gentle brush of soft fur against my back was the last thing I felt as I drifted into nothingness.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

I jolted out of my sleep, my heart racing and the sheets beneath me damp with sweat. You´re awake! Everything is fine! I placed my hand over my chest, feeling my pulse slowly steady as I realised it was all just a nightmare. The silver curtains swayed slightly at the open windows and the moon shone so brightly I had to blink my eyes. `Shh, it´s all right, Little one. I´m here´ it yearned to say. My breathing had normalised and I ran a hand through my sticky hair. It was just a dream. I lay back and tried to sleep again, but I knew it was going to be a long night.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

@tele86 @circe143 @impossibelle @st4r-girl-official @cherry-cin

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #eris vanserra #eris x reader #acotar fandom

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nepentheisms · 9 months

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This is it; this is the Big 'Un that's been knocking around in my head since the bookclub's inception.

When it comes to mentions of the biblical parallels in Trigun, I've seen that Wolfwood is most frequently discussed as a Judas figure. I think it's important, though, to note that carrying out the Judas role to Vash's Jesus was a job he was ordered to take, and it's one he went through the motions of following while having the ulterior motive of killing the one who gave him the order in the first place. In fact, when Wolfwood does turn traitor, it's actually Knives and the GHG he chooses to betray. He ends up Judas-ing the guys who assigned him to the Judas mission - that's some sweet irony!

And as Wolfwood's time in the story draws to an end, he takes the path completely contrary to Judas' ignominious end by suicide. He instead takes a leap of faith and dares to place his trust in Vash's vision for humanity's future. His faith remains imperfect, but in the midst of all his doubt and uncertainty, he persists anyway.

This last stand of his becomes Wolfwood's ultimate affirmation of his devotion to Vash's ideals, and he effectively becomes a martyr, which places him far outside the image of Judas. In fact, I think that when we look back on his character arc as a whole, we can see how it more neatly lines up in trajectory with the story of another apostle: Peter.

Like Peter in the gospel narratives, Wolfwood finds it difficult to have the kind of faith that is asked of him. Vash goes into his battle with Rai Dei insisting to Wolfwood that he can finish the conflict without taking a life, but Wolfwood intervenes against Vash's wishes because he was worried about Rai Dei's next move. Peter sees Jesus walking on water and goes out to join him, but with the rough winds blowing around him, Peter becomes overwhelmed by fear and begins to sink. After these failures of faith in their respective stories, Peter and Wolfwood are then chastised by the men they follow.

Matthew 14:31 (NRSV) - Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

And it's these struggles with doubt, these moments of fear and cynicism overtaking faith that are so instrumental to the Christian perspective on salvation with its message of "You are flawed by nature, but you are loved beyond all comprehension nonetheless. Accept this love that it may save you and change you."

In Peter's case, although he is singled out multiple times for his failures (e.g. denying Jesus three times), he still holds a special place of prominence among Jesus' disciples. The 21st chapter of John features a conversation between Peter and the resurrected Jesus in which Peter affirms his love for Jesus three times (a reversal of the three times he denied Jesus), and Jesus responds by instructing Peter to care for his flock. After Jesus ascends to Heaven, Peter continues the work set out for him in building the early church until his eventual martyrdom, which, according to church tradition, occurs via upside-down crucifixion (see Caravaggio's rendition here). Interestingly, Wolfwood's martyrdom also involves lots of grievous bodily harm being dealt by crosses.

So the saint gets brought to death's doorstep, and that brings us to the infamous whiskey bottle

Others have already pointed out that "The Bride" likely refers to the Bride of Christ. This excerpt from the Catechism of the Catholic Church sums up the concept:

The unity of Christ and the Church, head and members of one Body, also implies the distinction of the two within a personal relationship. This aspect is often expressed by the image of bridegroom and bride. The theme of Christ as Bridegroom of the Church was prepared for by the prophets and announced by John the Baptist. The Lord referred to himself as the "bridegroom." The Apostle speaks of the whole Church and of each of the faithful, members of his Body, as a bride "betrothed" to Christ the Lord so as to become but one spirit with him. The Church is the spotless bride of the spotless Lamb.

Now Peter is of particular importance when talking about the Church as an institution, because in the Catholic tradition, Peter is believed to have been granted a distinguished position of authority as the very foundation of Jesus' church, and every Pope is considered a successor to Peter in their occupation of the Church's highest office.

So Peter = Pope = the head of the Bride of Christ. And if we take the reading of Wolfwood as a Peter analogue.... you see where we're going. The Bride of Christ has been sanctified through a powerful demonstration of sacrificial love and prepared for the wedding to the bridegroom, but right here Yasuhiro Nightow subverts the biblical metaphor to devastating effect. The wedding doesn't come to fruition, because Vash can't bring himself to step into the role of the heavenly bridegroom. In this moment, he just feels all too painfully human in his grief. Wolfwood ascends - celebrated across the sky by those he saved with his selfless love, but Vash descends - acting as an ordinary person mourning the loss of a loved one.

John 13:36 (NRSV) - Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now...."

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun spoilers #trigun maximum spoilers #suicide mention #cw suicide mention #religion mention #christianity mention #trigunbookclub #the bookclub is a funeral procession this week #hugs going out to all of you #Guns&God meta

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justakixa · 3 months

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Dearie || lookism

The story is about Y/N, a mysterious girl in the Lookism world where she doesn't belong. With her average height and charming or adorable face, she seems fragile-looking, but once you know her dark side, you will see a manipulative and dangerous lady, yet her appearance makes everyone want to protect her in their cruel world. Will she team up with Daniel to take down the four major crews and Charles Choi? Or does she team up with the enemy side along with other geniuses? Will she finally go back to her real world? Let's find out in the next Dragon Ball Z! Enjoy!

(Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/361532555?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=justakixa)

CHAPTER 1 ˚୨୧⋆.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ ⊹Part 1

The girl on the bed let out a groan as she lazily reached for her phone to silence the sudden ringing of the alarm. She sits up on her bed and glances to the side, spotting a tall mirror reflecting her messy bedhead.

"ugh, what a mess..." She muttered to herself as she let out a long sigh, ever since she got into the lookism world around 1 week ago and now she was stuck there for now.

When she found herself in that unfamiliar place, she awoke in a room filled with furniture, clothes that suited her, a key house, and even her birth certificate. Questioning her sanity, she pinched herself to no avail before exploring the house, which was charming in every way. In the living room, she discovered an ID from J-high with her face on it. It appeared that she had been randomly taken, placed in a house, and enrolled in a school that was completely foreign to her. However, it was becoming clear that she was not in her world, especially after she researched J-high and her old address, finding no trace of them on any maps. Till she realised She was in her friend's favourite webtoon "Lookism".

She finally gets up and starts heading to the bathroom to take a shower, after that, she wears the uniform and combs her hair as she lets it free then ties it to buns. She then heads her way downstairs, grabs her backpack, phone, key house, and lastly she goes near the door and wears her shoes before going out of the house and locking the house.

While later she finally arrived at a gate at J-high School, she guessed this would be the start of a new life. Once she steps inside, all the eyes are on her making her feel nervous and awkwardly walks away from the stares as she finally arrives in front of the principal office. She knocks twice on the door as someone shouts to come in.

A few minutes later, she got out and started heading to the fashion department room in the other hall. When she arrives at her class, she braces herself and takes a deep breath before she enters the classroom and suddenly stares at her again.

"oh! I forgot to announce that we will have new students today. So, Kindly introduce yourself dear." The teacher looks at me and gives me a gentle smile.

"Hello, I'm Y/N and im 18 years old. My hobby is drawing and please don't ask me to draw you for free. That's all." She stutters a bit but she did great anyway. After that, the teacher signed her to sit next to the blond boy covering his both eyes. Can he even see anything underneath those hairs?

She smiles at him before turning away and grabbing a book to write down notes, while the blonde guy keeps staring at her and seems to fantasise about her in his mind as he smiles back a little bit making his ears turn red. As she keeps writing something in her book, the blond keeps watching her till the three classes are finally over and break time starts any second.

Upon her arrival in the cafeteria, everyone looked at the new student aka her but she didn't notice the new guy behind her making everyone gasp for a second and think they may be a couple? or Model? or Idols? She turned around to meet somebody's chest as she looked up and saw a handsome man who also looking at her.

"Hi! You're Y/N, right? Im Daniel Park, am also new here and same department as yours." He smiles widely at her while. Right beside him, it was the blonde boy again, he kept looking at her as if he wanted to devour her or something.

"He mentioned that his name is Jay Hong." He gestured towards him.

"Is he mute?" She thought.

Daniel and Jay keep smiling down at her. She tilted her head looking at them before turning around and walking away to get snacks in the vending machine. Before she put the coin in, someone raced into it she looked to her side and saw Daniel with Jay leaning on the vending machine other side.

She feels nervous because of those two who keep getting closer to her. She hurries to click the options button and takes a leave with the strawberry pocky in her hand.

While strolling down the hallway and munching on her pocky, she ponders why Daniel and Jay are behaving so differently in this world compared to the webtoon. Did something trigger this world? Will others also act out of character? Lost in thought, she accidentally bumps into someone, causing her pocky to snap in half. As she looks up, she is met by a man with tattoos and a jumpsuit tied around his waist. His chest feels as solid as bricks - why does it seem like she ran into a wall?

As she observes the man in front of her, she can't help but think that he might be a bully due to his appearance, especially the tattoos on his hands. She regrets not reading about Lookism with her friend, but she was too busy with school. Now, as the man walks towards her and stops right in front of her, she begins to tremble on the floor with fear.

What will happen to her next? Will he hit her since she bumped into him? Is he a bad guy? She prays silently till the man starts to reach his hand to her.

In just a blink of her eyes, she's in the clinic room. Just a second ago, she was in the hallway sitting on the ground with a man standing in front of her, and suddenly he carried her in the bridal way and ran. Then a nurse came up to me and checked if my knee got bruised or something while the guy was looking down on the floor, looking all guilty like a sad giant dog... A big-ear guy suddenly came to his side and comforted him and said she was fine; in reality, she was fine since the fall didn't cause her to hurt her knee or get sprained. The only one that got her hurt was her pocky, which broke in half and was left in the hallway.

A while later, a nurse told those two that she was alright and as they kept talking, she decided to check the phone that she was bringing since it wasn't hers in the first place. She opened the phone and saw the lock screen looked normal as she swiped it up and had a password in it.

"Eh, it has a password? how am I gonna open this?" she whispered to herself before she quickly hid it in her jacket uniform pocket as the two guys finally approached her. The guy with big ears tries to push the big tattoo guy toward me and keeps telling him to apologize to her for bumping over me.

"Hey, he would like to apologize to you for bumping you and carrying you without your consent." The big ears guy smiles at me as he points to the tattoo guy.

"My name is Jace Park and his name is Euntae Lee but call him Vasco instead. We're members of Burn Knuckles while he is a Leader."

"Well, that's ok but may I ask a question?" she tilts her head as she looks at Jace.

"What is it?" He looks down at her and starts to examine her body head to toe as he snaps out his thoughts.

"Are you guys a bad guy? you two look like you can kill a fly..." She asks both of them.

Jace let out a chuckling sound as he pointed to Vasco again "Believe it or not he may look like a bad guy but he's a big softie."

" And I wouldn't dare to hurt someone as precious as you little lady," Vasco said with a tint of blush on his chick.

"Little?!" She thought. She feels offended since her height isn't that small compared to theirs. Is she? Last time in her world she was 5'6 but this time she shrunk.

"Also, are you new here somehow? Your face is unfamiliar around this school." Jace turned to ask her as she nodded and decided to stand up and dust her skirt.

Later they start to head out of the clinic room and part their ways in each department. She pulled out the phone again and decided to guess the password of the lock screen. She put her birthday code, 1234, password, and everything she thought of but sadly for her everything was incorrect. As she arrives at her classroom she feels the intense atmosphere, she looks up from her phone and sees in the middle is Daniel and the random guy. Slowly walked around and sat on her chair while others were getting crowded around Daniel and that guy and cheering loudly.

She overheard the guy's name was Zack and a Boxer. She couldn't bear to look at the fight so she returned to the phone and guessed another password while everyone kept making a crowd with outsiders too. Then suddenly she heard someone get punched, she took a sneak glance and saw Zack guy was on the floor clutching to his stomach. She felt bad for him but she didn't know what had happened before she arrived so she went back to the phone and she noticed the girl with brown had left the room.

Everyone lowers their eyes and avoids Zack who is still clutching his stomach as he tries to get up from the floor, she lets out a soft sigh and puts the phone in her pocket once again. She walks to Zack and then crouches down to him as she pokes his shoulder.

"Do you need help?" She asked him as she held him up on her shoulder before Zack answered her. But when she asks him if he needs help, he looks up at her and everything goes in slow motion around him till flowers bloom behind her. A goddess. While he was daydreaming, she dragged him out of the room but before that, Daniel came up to her and helped her hold Zack to the clinic, little did she know Daniel was glaring at Zack when he noticed Zack was staring at her and getting held by her.

When they arrived, they laid him down on the bed and she told Daniel to stay there with him as she went to catch up with the nurse. When she said that Zack snapped out of his daydreaming and shook his head as he muttered that he had Mira for him, then she walked out of the clinic leaving the two alone inside and walking through the hallway. She was not going to call the nurse since she saw the letter on the desk that the nurse would come back any minute. She walked around the hall and checked her surroundings. Everyone seemed busy minding their business so she went to the library, pulled out the phone once again and tried one more password.

Finally, she successfully guessed the password of the lock screen. It was the exact day when she arrived. Lowkey is suspicious and feels it was set up just for her. Her expression drops when she notices the wallpaper on the phone. Unfamiliar man and a woman that looks like her...

Is that even her? She can't even remember anything about that guy, mostly she just woke up last week ago in a random house and felt like an amnesia person. Yet she still believed that this world wasn't hers since she remembered everything in her 'world' so that's why that man and that woman are not related to her. Hopefully not. If it was, then her 'world' was just a dream and everything she knew was fake blurry people.

She shook her mind off of all the questions. Then she decided to look further, she checked the gallery and it was empty. There were no pictures or videos in there so she went to check the files but it was also empty. When she clicks the music app, she notices there's an unnamed folder only and it is full of voice records. She was about to play one but the bell interrupted her, she headed back to her classroom grabbed her backpack and quickly walked out of the school. She was so curious about what was in the voice records that she hurriedly walked, she even felt the soft gaze at her but she just ignored it and continued walking.

Tbc!

#kim joongoo #gun park #jake kim #park jonggun #samuel seo #vin jin #daniel park #lookism x reader #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #wattpad #jay hong #zack lee #lookism fanart #lookism

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maleyanderecafe · 2 months

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My Cute Stalker Idolizes Me Too Much (Manga)

Created by: Shirizaki

Genre: Smut/Josei

Every now and then I get blessed with a submissive yandere boy and it's always the best feeling- it's like finding a golden egg or an extra piece of candy in your pocket. Anyways, the yandere in this one is a lovestruck stalker and the tone is fairly light, and the female lead is the one who initiates which is great. There is only about three chapter out so far but it is very cute.

The story starts out with Izumi being annoyed that a boy named Kai is following her. She continuously rejects him as he has been basically following her around since high school. She likes a different type than what Kai is, but her friend mentions that she's been having trouble with dating and suggests she try dating Kai. Izumi asks out Kai on a date, and sees that Izumi actually has quite a knack for taking care of children, something that Izumi finds attractive. We get to learn about why Kai is so in love with Izumi, as Izumi saved him from bullies when he was younger. The two start a trial dating, however, Izumi gets frustrated as Kai isn't making any moves. As a result, she invites Kai to her place and pushes him down to have sex, only for Kai to pass out as he's overwhelmed. The next day, Kai asks his friend Eiji for advice on how to initiate, pointing out that Kai still sees her more as a goddess rather than an actual person, which is one of the main reasons that Kai wasn't initiating in the first place. Eiji ends up being attracted to Izumi when he sees her, causing Kai to feel insecure as Eiji is also basically Izumi's type. Kai and Izumi end up having sex at his place this time, but Kai attempts to initiate. Izumi ends up taking over instead, leading as Kai still seems to be nervous. The two don't actually have sex, but their relationship gets closer. Izumi tries to deny that she likes him, however, but seems to really like him. She ends up meeting Eiji as she's ordering pizza, and Eiji even later goes up to her to confess his feelings (even saying that if she doesn't like Kai, she should just dump him which like... wtf). Izumi ends up rejecting Eiji declaring her love for Kai and afterwards Kai and Izumi have sex. At the end of this chapter, the two of them move in with them, with him being obsessed with her as always.

So again, very cute story, I like how it's playing out so far. The female lead is pretty cool because while it does take the friend pushing her to try new things, so does at least try to go through with them, though like a lot of female protags with yanderes, she tends to be a bit annoyed that he has all of these stalking tendencies. I'm always a fan of more assertive females anyways and considering this is a josei (and most joseis don't have assertive females as far as I can tell) it is a god send for me.

Kai on the other hand is a pretty light yandere all things considered. He's like a mix of a stalker and a worshipper type yandere which I feel is pretty common in more lighter submissive yanderes, though he takes the worshipper part of it to a higher level than most, not wanting to be taint her. He does learn to see her more as a person as the story goes on, but I imagine that's not something that will go away completely for a while. He is very persistent in his love for her initially though in the end it's Izumi that initiates first (mostly in sex but in other factors too). I hope that he stays subby though I've seen too many stories where the yandere becomes dominate for no reason, though I'd be okay if he were a soft switch. In any case, most of his yandere tendencies are mostly played for laughs from him constantly confessing to her and getting turned down, to taking picture of her and in the end going crazy with the stalking by making cookies of her amongst other things. But he is very cute and youthful, which I think is a good match for Izumi.

Overall, a good start to a josei story (at least for me). There isn't a whole lot of drama currently going on (except I guess that brief moment with Eiji and probably some more interpersonal drama), but I think it's still a very sweet story. If you like more subby yanderes, then please check this one out.

#My Cute Stalker Idolizes Me Too Much #male yandere #yandere boy #yandere #recommendations #ongoing #manga

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bonefall · 4 months

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maybe with the ending.. make it be like the link between Breezepelt's leaving to join Kin and his POV in AVOS? of course from Nightcloud's perspective but

like. she would be injured and recovering away from the clan. but they would be unaware that she is alive and like in canon assume she died and hold her a vigil. Breezepelt, who is already at low point, taking it very badly - yes he was pushing her away bc he was hurt and angry and started taking it out on her, but.. it's still his mom. his Mi. and she is dead? or is this stupid clan just going to believe this to make it easier? are they really giving up on looking for her, or her body??

i can see Nightcloud being the one of very few, if not THE Only one, things that kept Breezepelt in WindClan at this point. and without her, what's the point? it's not like anyone else likes him. the link is gone and they buried it in a bodyless vigil. so it's what pushes him to actuall take the step and leave.

not sure how well it would align with the timeline and events. and how soon Darktail was assembling cats from other clans like Breeze. but i think it would be interesting and heartbreaking if at the end of her SE, Nightcloud just arrived back to WindClan and asks where Breezepelt is and someone tells her.. he either was missing since this morning or just left the clan earlier the same day. like, just have them miss each other by a hair.

I'm thinking that the second-to-last chapter is her with Pickle, having a bit of a sabbatical to unpack everything that happens through the story. Mostly because I want to throw her into some kind of pretty garden as a nice setting for this lmaoo

A LOT of BB stuff is being added to Nightcloud's Pannage that wasn't in the main series; Hillrunner's abuse, her mentor Addersong, several expanded little background characters now complete with their own side conflicts. I think what I can bind all these things with is Nightcloud considering what a Clan means.

Because of her new reputation, I'm noticing I'm writing scenes where she's intentionally doing and saying things to try and sway them. While also grappling with her resentment towards them, and things she can't change.

There's a bit of a melancholy air so far, so I'm starting to feel like the best ending is just having a bit of space to herself to think. Ultimately, she decides that it's more than Breezepelt or Crowfeather that binds her to WindClan. It's the life and connections she COULD have.

WindClan cats are also quite religious next to other Clans, so I really do mean "sabbatical." I'm going to have Addersong die of old age shortly after they reconnect, so she's in Pickle's Garden talking to her new friend, choosing cats she's lost to pray to as patron spirits to give her the traits she feels she needs, and just recovering both physically from injury and spiritually from turmoil.

So all that to say; it works well that by the time she gets back, Breezepelt has joined The Kin. He was one of the first to join when he started calling for members anyway, so having Night be gone for about two or three weeks sounds appropriate.

#I'm still working out WHAT the injury was though #I just know for sure that Night was in some DEEP trouble. Possibly being attacked by a fox or dog #And she can't tell for sure if it was gratitude or hunger or the brief influence of StarClan shining through the sow's eyes #But Marge does an RKO OUTTA NOWHERE and kills what was attacking her #Before scuttling off with her three surviving humbugs into the mist #And when Nightcloud wakes up she's at The Pickle Jar #Too injured to travel and kinda understand she needs the time to unpack some stuff anyway #Wanting to get home desperately ofc to stand by Breeze #But also... StarClan has probably placed her here. Away from the Clan. For a reason.#Especially with Pickle in particular since she's grappling with how her reactionary xenophobia has affected people through her life #I have a LOT of little ideas for NcP #Which I'll need to trim and focus I think #As-is I think it's meandering BUT it's good to get EVERYTHING down in a first draft #Better bones au #I actually have a crowf ref finished and planned to post that with a summary lmaooooooo #Sorry Crow. I like ur wife too much #Nightcloud's Pannage

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mint-yooxgi · 1 year

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{25} - Hotel California - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Based off of This ask and Hotel California by Eagles

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor

Pairing: Ateez X Reader

Words: 18,000

Warnings: Heavy Angst. PTSD and Trauma. Heavy Guilt. Talks of what happened between OC and Miyeon when the boys were gone; descriptions and recollection of past torture. Mental illness: description of suicide and a failed suicide attempt, depression, anxiety. Hurt/comfort. Talks of insecurities and uncertainty. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Please heed the warnings carefully, this is quite an intensive chapter. I almost started crying while writing out a certain part of it, so be warned. Anyways, I wasn’t expecting for it to be this long, nor was I expecting to end it where I did, but I promise the next chapter will be full of an insane amount of fluff. I still have a lot planned for this series, so I really hope you all like this chapter! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Main Story - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Ten - Part Eleven - Part Twelve - Part Thirteen - Part Fourteen - Part Fifteen - Part Sixteen - Part Seventeen - Part Eighteen - Part Nineteen - Part Twenty - Part Twenty-One - Part Twenty-Two - Twenty-Three - Twenty-Four - Mini Masterlist

Darkness surrounds you. A calming, quiet darkness that settles within your mind as you rest. One that you allow yourself to get lost in, drowning in the stillness for however long that you can.

Time passes, you’re sure of it. Though, you’re not quite sure how long you spend within the confines of your own mind. What you think you do know, however, is that you are safe. No sense of danger forebodes within your subconsciousness for the moment. A fact of which makes breathing all the easier.

Or perhaps you’re already dead.

No. That’s not right.

Through the darkness, memories begin to appear. Vaguely, you see the remains of a completely decimated dance studio, an almost unrecognizable corpse twisted off to the side. In the back of your mind, you recall being surrounded by eight sobbing figures, holding onto you as tightly as you had been clinging onto them.

It wasn’t all a dream, was it? You hope beyond everything that it wasn’t. That when you wake up, you’ll be back in your room, surrounded once more by all eight of Your Kings who are sure to be watching over you right this very instant.

You don’t think you’d survive if that isn’t the case.

Slowly, you feel yourself walking somewhere within the confines of you mind. A faint glow begins to get brighter and brighter, drawing you towards it with every passing second. Once you reach it, and without any hesitation, you step through the blinding threshold, allowing the warmth to embrace you once more.

The soft light of the afternoon sun filters through your room, casting a faint glow over the entire area. Eight males are scattered around your sleeping figure, some sitting on chairs, while a few lay on the couches just off to the side. Two males lay beside you, gently cradling your resting form in their arms as two more shapes lay on top of your body in whatever ways that they can.

To the side, your door rests open just a crack.

A soft groan draws all of their attention to your form beginning to move on the bed. Immediately, Yunho is sitting up from his position on your one couch, while Mingi pops up to peer over the back of the other, eyes locked on your figure. San shifts to the edge of his seat, of which he had pulled right beside your bed in order to rest as close as he could to you. It was no longer his turn to lay beside you for the moment, so this was the next best option. Seonghwa sits right next to him, mirroring the younger male’s position as he leans forward, hands desperately clinging onto the arms of his chair.

All of them watch as your eyes begin to flit around beneath your lids before blinking open.

“Dearest,” Yeosang chokes on a sob as he clings to you, immediately pulling you into his arms and pressing his lips against the side of your temple.

In the blink of an eye, both Mingi and Yunho are there, sitting on the end of your bed and staring at you with tears in their eyes. A sight which you notice both San and Seonghwa mirror in the next moment.

A hand seems to be held in yours, resting carefully over your heart as you feel it squeeze your own. That’s when you notice Hongjoong resting on your opposite side, tears streaming down his face as he holds onto you for dear life.

Sparing a glance downwards, you notice the small lumps you feel resting against you seem to be two unfamiliar animals. A snake curls around your lower stomach while a large, brown rabbit rests over your thighs. You’d bet anything that they’re Jongho and Wooyoung, having shifted into animals to be closer to you for the moment.

You blink, heart pounding in your chest as your memories finally all catch up with you. Shakily, you raise your free hand to cup the side of Yeosang’s face, tears springing to your eyes as your whole body begins to shake.

“Please,” your voice comes out low, brittle and raw as your eyes squeeze shut, “someone tell me this is real.”

Their hearts all break for you once more, seeing you trembling within both Yeosang’s and Hongjoong’s embrace.

“It’s real, Starlight,” Mingi whispers, resting his hand softly over your foot still beneath your covers. “We’re right here.”

“You’re safe now, My Divine,” it’s Seonghwa’s gentle voice that draws your attention to him next. “She cannot hurt you anymore.”

You nod softly, blinking once more as a single tear begins to trail down the side of your one cheek. Slowly, carefully, you begin to sit up with the help of both Yeosang and Hongjoong.

You don’t feel like they’re lying to you, but you’re not sure if you can trust your own mind right now. Your thoughts are all over the place, and all you can focus on is how it felt for Miyeon to smash through your void, shattering your mind until you almost lost yourself.

Thoughts which echo freely through all of their heads as you don’t bother to put up your void. Not that you’d have the mental strength to for the moment, anyways.

Crossing your legs beneath the blankets, you find yourself half curling into your own body. The rabbit - Jongho - is quick to shift right into your lap, settling against you and rubbing his face softly into the palm of your one hand. It’s as if he’s saying that he’s right here, and that nothing will take you away from him again.

Meanwhile, the snake - Wooyoung - slowly winds himself around your stomach, slithering up your back so that his head is resting right beside your own. Gently, he nuzzles his snout against your jaw, as if assuring you that you’re okay, and that this is real.

Glancing up, you meet Yunho’s gaze.

Throughout it all, there was one memory you desperately fought to protect above all others. A memory that was to be your failsafe incase something like this were to happen. Even if you cannot trust in your surroundings, you can trust in him. In all of them.

“That day,” you begin, keeping your voice low so as not to strain it for the moment. “How many symbols did you draw on my body?”

You ignore the glass of water offered to you by Yeosang for the moment as you continue to stare into Yunho’s eyes, watching as he blinks back at you. His breath hitches slightly in his throat.

“Two,” he breathes, searching your features intently. “One on your front, and one on your back. Both directly over your heart.”

You nod, swallowing thickly. You have to be sure.

“What was the symbol you drew on my back?” You push, noticing how the room remains absolutely still for the moment as the silence settles around you.

Yunho goes to answer, but your hand raising in the air stops him.

There’s only one way you know to be absolutely sure.

“Please,” extending your hand out to him, you keep your palm facing upwards, “Draw it.”

If you truly are still trapped within Miyeon’s mental prison, and the memories of them saving you have been all fabricated, there’s no way in hell she’ll know about the symbol he drew over your back. She only knew of the one on your front, because you would have died before you let her know of the first one he ever painted over your skin.

Carefully, Yunho shifts closer to you. He can feel his brother’s gazes locked on him as he reaches forward to gently grasp your hand within his own. His thumb caresses the side of your palm before he’s raising his other hand, using his index finger to trace a design over your skin. The whole time, his eyes never leave your own.

The moment the final line of the symbol of his name in the ancient tongue is drawn over your palm, you’re breathing a tremendous sigh of relief. Your shoulders sag, whole body relaxing as you nearly collapse into Yeosang’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” you breathe. “I had to be sure.”

“Whatever helps to ease your mind, My Love, we are more than happy to provide for you,” Hongjoong assures you, reaching over and tenderly cupping the side of your cheek.

However, you do not fail to miss the way he hesitates slightly. Almost as if he’s nervous to touch you. Though, the moment you lean into his hold, his own shoulders seemingly relax.

A small giggle escapes your lips, feeling the snake begin flicking his tongue against your skin, just below your jawline. You turn your head, noticing a small beauty mark below the snake’s left eye, confirming just who you thought he could be.

“Wooyoung,” you meet his gaze, feeling his tongue flick out against your skin once more. “That tickles.”

I’m just glad to see you’re okay, Angel, his voice resounds throughout your head, and you can hear the worry still clinging to the edges.

A brief pause where you attempt a weak smile as you finally grab the glass of water from Yeosang’s hands. You take a sip, almost instantly downing half the glass.

“Are you-“ San clears his throat. “Are you okay, Baby?”

You meet his gaze, and the broken look he can see shining behind your eyes has his heart faltering in his chest.

“No,” you barely manage to get the word out, the glass in your hand beginning to shake as your whole body trembles. You squeeze your eyes shut, leaning further into Yeosang for support. “I-“ you swallow, “I-“

You can barely get the words out as your emotions begin to choke you.

“Take your time, Dearest,” Yeosang comfortingly rubs a hand along your back, caressing your spine like he so often does whenever he holds you in his arms.

“We’re right here,” Yunho assures you, nothing but concern shining in his eyes for you.

“You are not alone,” Mingi adds, keeping his tone soft as he looks at you.

You feel Jongho nuzzling the crook of your knee, nosing at your one hand resting just beside his face. You’re safe now, Darling. We won’t let anything else hurt you.

You nod along softly to his words, tightening your grip the slightest bit on that glass of water in your hand. Bringing it up to your lips, you down the rest of the liquid.

“Can we get you anything, Baby?” San’s voice is soft, wanting nothing more than to reach out and comfort you in his arms, but he knows his brother’s have got it covered for the moment.

At your soft nod, each male shifts the slightest bit closer to you.

“A few things,” you begin, clearing your throat lightly of your emotions in the next second. “Can I get more water-“

The words are barely out of your mouth when Mingi has another full glass in his one hand. Reaching over, he hands it to you, taking your empty one without a second thought.

“Thank you,” you send him a small smile.

“Of course, Starlight,” he sends a soft one back. “Anything for you.”

Taking a few sips from the fresh glass in your hand, you let out a low breath.

“Mars?” You turn to one of the males sitting on your left.

“Yes, My Divine?” Immediately, he leans forward, body eager to spring into action for whatever you need him to do.

“Can you open the doors to the balcony?” The moment the words leave your lips, he’s moved. “I could use some fresh air.”

Seonghwa has to physically restrain himself from tearing your balcony doors off of their hinges as he nearly flings them open. Luckily, he’s able to take a deep breath, slowly opening each side one by one. A gentle breeze curtesy of both Yunho and Hongjoong flits through your room in the next second.

The gentle smile you send him as he sits back in his seat has his heart pounding inside his chest, happy he could do something that eased your discomfort. Even if it’s only slightly.

Taking another sip from your glass of water, your let out a long exhale through your nose. Your eyes fall shut, allowing the way you feel your lungs to fill with air to ground you for the moment.

Keeping your eyes shut, you begin to speak once more.

“Inside-“ you swallow the dryness of your throat, “inside my closet, top drawer on the left, there’s a small stone buried beneath a few of my shirts. I-“ you take a deep breath, “can someone grab it for me? I need it.”

Yunho is already halfway across the room before you finish speaking. Stepping into your closet, he’s quick to pull open the aforementioned drawer and grab that stone.

It’s not a very large stone by any means. In fact, it’s about the size and shape of those small rocks you can find at any of those children’s stores where they allow you to fill a bag full of gems to buy. It’s light blue in colour, smooth on one side while the opposite is slightly coarse.

The moment the rock is placed into your open palm, you let out another sigh of relief. Instantly, you’re shifting it slightly in your hand, thumb beginning to trace over the smooth side of the stone.

You can feel their curious gazes on you, even as you close your eyes for the moment to let the feeling of the stone in your fingers ground you. You’ve sat up fully by now, too, no longer leaning into Yeosang’s side. The one hand holding the rock rests on your one knee while the glass of water you still hold rests on the other.

You take another sip of water.

Movement from your lap catches your attention, and you crack an eye open to see Jongho shifting to face your one hand now toying with that small stone between your fingers. At the way you can see his nose sniffing at it, you can tell he’s more than curious as to what it could be.

“It’s my therapy pebble,” you explain, noticing how you have all of their attention on you for the moment. “My therapist gave it to me our very first meeting for me to use when my anxiety acts up. It grounds me. Though, I haven’t used it in quite a while. Not since-“ you cut yourself off, exhaling a long breath, “not since the worst night of my life.”

Each male does not fail to notice the way you avoid their gazes for the time being. The way they can all feel their chests squeezing as their hearts suffocate for you has their breaths hitching in their throats.

“What can we do?” Hongjoong makes sure to keep his voice low, hand carefully caressing the skin of your upper back as he swallows thickly. “What can we do to make it better?”

“Just sit with me? Please?” You lean back onto your pillows which Yeosang has conveniently fluffed up behind you. Of course, you’re careful not to squish Wooyoung’s body, of which is still wrapped around your waist in snake form. “That’s all I ask. For now.”

“Of course, My Love,” Hongjoong smiles softly at you, both him and Yeosang leaning the slightest bit into your either side.

You smile back faintly, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as you relax yourself into this moment. Still, your thumb traces over the contours of the stone in your hand.

“How long-“ you swallow, “how long was I out?”

A brief pause.

“Three days.” The airy rasp of San’s voice reaches your ears.

Your breath catches in your throat. “I see.”

Then, a thought crosses your mind that immediately has your eyes flinging open. Your form shoots up from your resting position as panic washes over your features.

“Kuroo, he-“ your breathing begins to come in jagged pants, fresh tears springing to your eyes, “is he-“

No. He can’t be dead. He couldn’t have died. All he ever wanted was to protect you, and you barely even remembered that he had been injured until just now. How could you ever forget?

“Shh, it’s okay, Dearest,” Yeosang immediately wraps you in his arms, one hand stroking tenderly over the top of your head.

“Kuroo is fine, Starlight, don’t worry,” Mingi assures you, a weak pull of his lips upwards as his heart pangs inside of his chest at seeing you so distraught.

“But he-“ you choke on your breath, hands beginning to shake.

The last time you saw him, he was barely breathing. His whole body had been crushed by whatever invisible force Miyeon had control of. You can still hear his whimpering mewls echoing in your ears. A sound which causes you to squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to clear it from your mind.

Vaguely, you feel Jongho hop out of your lap, only to return almost immediately afterwards. His head brushes against your stomach, and you swear you feel the faintest swish of a tail over your legs as well.

The soft mewl you hear from below has your eyes flinging open to see little golden orbs staring up at you in worry.

A single tear traces a line down your cheek as you choke on a sob, “Kuroo?”

A warmth is suddenly at your back, and you feel arms wrapping themselves around your waist.

“He’s a lot stronger than he looks, Darling.” Jongho’s low voice rumbles out right beside your ear.

Slowly, Kuroo begins to attempt to crawl up your body, his little face sniffing at the tear that clings to your jaw before dripping lightly onto his nose. He pulls back the slightest, only to return to sniffing gently at your face in the next moment.

Slowly, you hand the glass of water to Yeosang who takes it from your trembling grasp without hesitation.

As soon as the glass is out of your hand, you’re wrapping your arms around that little black cat and clinging onto his form for dear life. A sob tears from your throat, more tears escaping your eyes, and you feel Kuroo beginning to lick at your cheek. The purrs he lets out are the loudest you’ve ever experienced from him, and you cannot help the way you hold him the slightest bit tighter in your grasp in response.

“I thought she killed you,” you sob, pressing your face into his fur and leaving a few kisses against his side. “You wanted to protect me, and I thought she killed you for it.”

Just as tightly as you cling onto Kuroo, your left hand still holds onto that small rock for dear life.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, eyes squeezing shut as your whole body shakes from the intensity of your sobs. “I couldn’t protect you.”

“Baby-“ San shifts forward, nothing but concern reflected in his eyes, only for him to get ignored for the moment.

Guilt so fierce begins to consume you, washing over all of them as they are still privy to every single thought you are having for the moment. A fact which has all of their hearts breaking for you that very instant once more.

“I’m so sorry,” it’s then that they realize that you’re no longer just speaking to the cat. “I couldn’t stop her. I tried, but I couldn’t protect anything. She-“ you hiccup, “she-“ your breath hitches, “I’m so sorry.”

Your throat burns, tears continuously falling freely down your face as your entire body trembles uncontrollably. You don’t even register that you’ve released Kuroo until you feel yourself being pulled into someone’s chest. Two more bodies surround you on either side, heads pressing against yours as they attempt to calm you down.

More frantic apologies escape you in pain filled cries, chest feeling as if it’s caving in with each breath you take. If three days truly have passed since everything went down, then obviously they’ve had time to see the ruined remains of the house. The house they so carefully and meticulous crafted for the nine of you to live in together. The house you failed to protect from Miyeon’s destruction.

You sob harder.

“I can’t-“ you begin to wheeze, chest heaving with every breath, “I can’t breathe.”

Your emotions are overwhelming you, and the intensity of your wails are taking up the majority of your energy. With each expansion of your lungs, you find less and less air filling them, choking you from the inside out.

Frantically, you push the males surrounding you off of your body as you attempt to heave air into your lungs. You don’t know how, but you manage to pull yourself onto your feet, jumping over all of them and landing on the floor. You rush passed both San and Seonghwa and onto the balcony, hands clinging desperately to the railing as you lean against it for support. Lowering your head, you attempt to catch your breath.

Faintly, you register worried footsteps following behind you, seven figures standing around you in a semi-circle as Wooyoung shifts slightly against your body. Still, he remains wrapped around you in snake form, his snout pressing against your cheek lightly.

We’re right here, Angel. His worried voice echoes throughout your head. Just breathe.

A hand on your back has your whole body jumping. Turning your tear filled gaze, you see Yunho standing there with tears lining his own vision. Only, you misinterpret the real reason that he’s crying.

You fall to your knees, hands desperately clinging to his form as you rest your head on his thighs.

“I’m so sorry,” you sob harder, clinging onto Yunho for dear life. “I tried-“ your breath stutters, “I tried to stop her, but I couldn’t. She tore apart everything without a second thought. I couldn’t stop her.”

Out of the corner of your blurry vision, you see Seonghwa step beside you.

Your whole body shudders, chest heaving with every failed breath you attempt to take.

“She tore your passions apart, and I couldn’t stop her,” you shift the slightest bit, grasping one of both of Seonghwa’s and Yunho’s hands in each of your own. “I’m so sorry,” you just hope that they can forgive you for your failed misdoings, “I was too weak.”

Collectively, they all inhale sharply.

“No, Petal,” Yunho kneels in front of you, cupping your face gently in his hands as he notices that you’re still having difficulty breathing. The worst part is, you avoid his gaze in shame. “Hey, look at me.”

Cautiously, your eyes flick over to meet his own as Seonghwa kneels beside his brother.

“Breathe, Petal,” Yunho keeps your gaze locked on him, helping you through some exercises to calm your breathing for the moment, and catch your breath.

“We’re right here,” Seonghwa repeats, reaching out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder, rubbing it up and down your arm shortly afterwards as you begin to calm down, even if only slightly.

“But-“

“Shh,” Yunho coos, thumbs stroking tenderly over your cheeks. “Our stuff is replaceable. You are not.”

“So, not another word of apology from you,” Seonghwa’s hand returns to your shoulder, drawing your attention to him for the moment. “You have nothing to be sorry for, My Divine.”

“It is us who have failed you,” Hongjoong’s voice has your gaze shifting to him now, seeing as he walks over to your side and kneels beside Seonghwa.

You blink, another tear escaping your one eye as his words completely catch you off guard. You fully turn to him now, an image of the destroyed garden flashing through your mind as pain clutches at your heart.

“If we had only made our wards stronger,” he begins, and you notice all of them now avoiding your gaze in shame. Even Wooyoung loosens his hold slightly around your waist as Hongjoong says this. “If only we had been smarter, then none of this would have happened to you.”

You manage to wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, shaking your head all the while.

“Please tell me you seriously don’t believe that,” your voice is strained from the heaviness of your emotions.

One look into Hongjoong’s eyes says it all.

“No, My Kings,” you’ve finally managed to calm down enough to begin thinking clearly again for the moment. “Because of your wards, she couldn’t leave, and I’d hate to think of what would have happened to me if that were the case. I don’t think-“ your breath catches slightly in your throat, another tear escaping your eye, “I don’t think I would have survived if that were the case.”

Tears begin to fall from his own eyes, and you are quick to cup his face in your hands.

“You saved me.” You spare a glance at all of them. “You all did. I am still alive because of you.”

“You had to endure her for two hours, Dearest,” never have you seen Yeosang with such a broken look on his face before. “Two hours.”

“I won’t lie and say that they weren’t the worst two hours of my life,” you reply lowly, noticing how he, San, and Mingi all flinch in response to your words. “But, I am still alive. My heart still beats, and I am still breathing. All thanks to the eight of you, I am alive.”

You feel Wooyoung slither off of you for the moment, only for arms to wrap themselves over your shoulders as a body collapses into your back in the next. You can feel his muffled sobs against your spine as his chest shakes with every breath. His head buries itself into the side of your neck as he clings onto you for dear life, holding you tightly as if you might disappear at any moment.

“Does the fact that I-“ you take a deep breath, “that I almost died terrify me?” You blink, your tears briefly stopping for the moment as your whole body continues to tremble. “Yes. It did. It still does. For the first time in my life, I was terrified to die. Would you like to know why?”

“Please, My Divine,” Seonghwa breathes, silent tears creating trails down his cheeks as he continues to kneel before you.

“Because I finally felt like I had a reason to live for myself.” You reply. “Eight reasons to live.”

The way their breaths all hitch simultaneously has a weak smile tugging onto your features.

“Instead of choosing to die, like I have so often been known to do, I chose to live.” You tell them, watching as silent tears begin to streak down all of their faces. “I never thought much of my own life before. Until recently.” You share a brief look with Seonghwa, the faintest of smiles pulling at your lips. “So, for the first time, faced with the option of death, I wanted to live.”

“That’s what made this situation so terrifying to me,” you explain, voice becoming no more than a whisper. “For the first time, it felt like I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Yet, I knew what I wanted. I knew what I had to do. I had to survive. I would survive. Not just for you, but for me.”

“Petal,” the soft call of your name from Yunho’s lips has you turning to look at him in an instant.

“I care about all of you. Deeply.” You take the time to meet each one of their gazes, raising a hand to squeeze one of Wooyoung’s own, which are still wrapped around your shoulders. “I wouldn’t have fought so hard to live if I didn’t. I wouldn’t have tried to protect our home so viciously if I didn’t.” Your eyes flash slightly as you continue to look at all of them. “I wouldn’t let you touch me if I didn’t. I wouldn’t let you experience me in certain ways if I didn’t. I wouldn’t do a lot of things that I do now, and I sure as hell know I would not have survived that day if I didn’t.”

“So, please, do not blame yourselves for what happened. For what she did.” They’re all crying at this point, and the four that had been standing have all fallen to their knees. “Because I never did. Not even for one second.”

You see them all nod faintly in your vision, feeling Wooyoung nod against your shoulder as he buries his face deeper into the side of your neck.

Softly, Hongjoong brings his one hand up to cover your own, of which is still cupping his face so tenderly in your grasp. Right now, he leans into that touch more than you’ll ever know.

“My Love, please know that we feel the same,” Hongjoong stares deeply into your eyes. “Know we would never blame you for what she did to our home.”

Despite the way your heart still squeezes in your chest, you find yourself nodding along to his words. You expression falls the slightest, and each male swears to do whatever he can to comfort you in any and every way they can.

“Okay,” this time, it’s your turn to nod softly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’d like to take a bath, and perhaps meditate for a little while. Then, I’m going to drink a gallon of water, eat something, and then we can talk more about what happened. I have some things I want to share with you all, anyways.”

Slowly, Wooyoung detaches himself from your back, helping you stand to your feet in the next second. You notice San perk up the slightest bit out of the corner of your eyes.

“What can I make you, Baby?” He asks, a little eagerly.

You begin to make your way back inside your room, stopping only briefly beside San as you shoot him a faint smile.

“Surprise me,” you reply, placing a tender kiss onto his cheek. “Nothing too heavy, though, okay?”

“Of course,” the tender look he sends your way warms your heart.

Walking back over to your bed, you briefly search over the blankets until you find what you’re looking for. Once you spot that little stone, you’re quick to snatch it into your one hand, standing back to your full height instantly.

“Would you like some company?” Yeosang asks gently as you begin to walk towards your bathroom.

Just as you reach the doorway, you turn to glance at them from over your shoulder. A soft smile graces your features at the care they continue to show you.

“Not this time,” the fond look you send their way eases some of the tension in their shoulders. However, a loud mewl draws your attention to a little black blur that darts inside of the bathroom in the next second. Your eyebrows raise in amusement. “Well, I guess Kuroo can join me.”

A few chuckles sound around the room, watching as you shut the door softly behind you as you enter the bathroom.

The whole time you relax in the tub, Kuroo rests on the edge beside you. Dutifully, he watches over you, making sure that you’re well protected and safe. The way you place a soft kiss onto the top of his head has him looking at you with those big, golden eyes of his, nothing but affection dripping from his gaze.

True to your word, you spend about half an hour meditating in the bath. That pebble never leaves your hand, thumb running over the contours as you clear your mind. Of course, you leave your void down for the moment. Just in case. The way you can feel them all occasionally brushing up against your mind as if to say that ‘you’re okay; we’re right here’ lifts a weight from your shoulders you hadn’t realized you’d been carrying. Though, you know for a fact that none of them are overstepping any boundaries for the moment, leaving you to your thoughts as much as they can.

Once you’ve finished washing up, you’re quick to dry yourself off. Wrapping your fluffy robe around yourself, you begin to do your usual routine after you finish bathing. Only, the moment you lift your head to look at your reflection in the mirror, you notice a faint glowing figure out of the corner of your eyes.

Your breath hitches, a scream nearly tearing from your throat. Immediately, you turn around to look in the exact spot you saw the figure.

Except, nothing is there.

You blink. Funny, you could have swore you saw someone standing right beside the edge of the tub.

Perhaps you’re just seeing things. You have been through a lot lately, so you wouldn’t be surprised. It’s probably just a lingering effect from everything you’ve gone through in the past few days alone.

It’s that thought that helps you to manage to get your breathing under control for the time being. Again, that stone is held in your one hand as you finally exit the bathroom. Kuroo happily trots beside you as you make your way over to your closet, shutting the door behind you as you pick out some clothes to wear.

Grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, you’re quick to change. Before you exit, you grab a hoodie, throwing it over your body before turning to grab your robe once more. Swinging the door open, you’re quick to return to the bathroom to hang your robe back in its place before returning to your room.

This time, you begin to roll the stone between the tips of your fingers as you exit your bathroom. You notice all eight of them scattered throughout your room waiting for your return. A jug of water and a bowl of food rests on the little table in your sitting area. So, you begin to make your way over to the couches, seeing Mingi, San, Yunho, and Jongho already sitting there.

The other four are quick to join you, and as you pass by your bed, you notice that it’s been made. Someone’s probably changed the sheets for you, too.

Sitting on the floor, you stretch your legs out beneath the table. Of course, you make sure to grab a pillow to rest upon before you do, leaning your back against the couch in the next moment. Only, instead of feeling the cushions like you expected, you feel somebody’s legs behind your back. In the next moment, you feel them shift beside your body on either side, letting you lean further into the couch behind you.

Turning your head, you see Mingi smiling softly down at you. His hands reach out for you in the next second, gently placing them onto your shoulders. Slowly, his thumbs begin to rub tenderly against the back of your neck, massaging you gently.

A tension you hadn’t realized you’d been holding onto slips from your body. A soft hum escapes you in contentment, eyes fluttering shut as Mingi continues to rub your neck. With each passing second, you find yourself relaxing more and more.

Blinking your eyes open, you notice that none of them sit on the couches around you. No, they all opt to sit on the floor with you, save for Mingi who rests behind you in order to continue massaging your neck and shoulders gently.

Both Hongjoong and Seonghwa sit directly across from you, leaning against the opposite couch. Yunho rests beside Hongjoong on his right, San to the right of Yunho at the one end of the table. Beside Seonghwa on his left sits Jongho. Wooyoung rests to your left, while Yeosang is to your right.

“I don’t expect you all to sit on the floor with me, you know,” you chuckle, reaching out your hand to grab the full glass of water in front of you.

“We know, Dearest,” Yeosang smiles at you, placing a tender hand onto your one thigh. “We want to.”

“Besides,” Jongho adds, “we don’t want you to think we’re looking down at you in any way. Especially if you’re the only one on the floor.”

Their answers warm your heart.

“You know I would never think that,” you reply, drinking the rest of the water in your glass until there’s none left.

Wordlessly, Seonghwa begins to pour more water into your glass as soon as you place it back onto the table.

“We know,” this time, it’s Hongjoong who answers you with a soft smile pulling at his own features. “It is simply one power dynamic that we do not like. Not when it’s you.”

Again, your heart warms at his words, only further serving to solidify the fact that you know that they’ve always seen you as their equal. A fact which you continue to remind yourself of every time those nasty words Miyeon had spat at you make a reappearance in your mind.

You tilt your head back, quirking a teasing brow at Mingi above you. “I suppose there are certain exceptions to that?”

“It’s easier to rub your shoulders this way, Starlight,” he grins cheekily, thumbs pressing the slightest bit firmer into your skin as if to emphasize his point. “Though, you know I would be on the floor with you in an instant if you asked.”

“I know, Moonlight,” you hum, placing a hand on top of one of his own for a moment. “I’m just teasing you.”

You can feel him squeeze your left shoulder gently beneath his fingers, that all too familiar smile of his pulling at his features. Though, before he can continue massaging you, you’re telling him to wait a moment.

“I need to crack my neck,” you warn them all.

In the next second, you’re tilting your head side to side. Quite a few satisfying pops can be heard from either side as you stretch your neck out. A pleased sigh leaves your lips, as you arch upwards, stretching your back out for good measure.

Settling back down into your spot, you place your stone upon the top of the table. Your hands reach for the bowl of food next, pulling it towards you. Once you see the fruit piled high within, a tender smile is pulling at your lips, the fork now grasped in your hand.

You shift your gaze to meet San’s. “Thank you, Baby.”

“Of course, Baby,” San smiles, tugging your hoodie that he still wears closer around his body. He’s just content to know that he could make you happy, especially right now. “Anything for you.”

Slowly, you begin to eat the fruit from the bowl in your hand. You can still feel Mingi softly massaging over your neck and shoulders, a fact which allows your body to relax the more tension is alleviated from your body. You can feel Yeosang gently brushing his thumb over your thigh where his hand still rests, furthering your sense of relaxation as you settle into this moment with all of them.

Honestly, you’re not quite sure where to begin, but the more you think about it, the heavier your mind becomes.

The soft caress of Yunho brushing against your mind with his own has your gaze shifting to his in an instant.

A tender, reassuring smile is sent your way. One which has the corners of your own lips quirking upwards slightly.

“So, I was really out for three days?” You ask, biting into another piece of fruit.

“It was the worst three days of our lives,” Seonghwa breathes, nodding in confirmation all the while.

“We hardly left your side,” Wooyoung adds, and you shift your attention to see him looking down at his hands in his lap. “We couldn’t.”

“Never before have any of us felt fear like we did on that day,” Hongjoong admits lowly, gaze locked on the top of the wooden table separating the two of you.

“What-“ Jongho’s voice catches in his throat as he looks towards you, that same fear shining within his eyes. “What happened?”

A slight silence lingers over all nine of you as you stare down at the now empty bowl of fruit in your hands.

“You don’t-“ Yeosang’s tone is soft as you turn to look at him, his one hand coming up to caress the side of your face tenderly. “You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.”

You shake your head, exhaling a sigh through your nose as you place your empty bowl back onto the table before you. Again, you grab that small stone into your one hand, beginning to feel it with the tips of your fingers.

“No,” you reply. “If I don’t talk about what happened, it will just consume me. I’m not about to let that happen. She doesn’t get to throw me back there. I won’t let her.”

You notice Wooyoung reach out for your left hand, and you’re quick to switch your pebble to your right so that he can loop your fingers through his own. He shifts closer, squeezing your hand firmly in his and reassuring you that he’s right here. That they’re all right here.

You take a deep breath, and then you begin.

“She appeared practically a minute after you had all left.”

As soon as the words leave your lips, they’re all thrown into your memories. They see you turn around to face her, you attempting to reach out to them, only for that damn mental block to be slammed over your mind, and Kuroo lunging at her instantly. They watch as you try to save Kuroo, only to be shoved against the wall by your neck in the next second.

Growls threaten to escape their lips as they watch Miyeon sink her nails into your throat, only to pull a dagger on you soon afterwards. Though, each male cannot deny the sense of pride that builds in their chests at the way you stood your ground, taunting her all the while.

“Just as I said before, your wards saved me from whatever sick manhunt she had planned,” you say, feeling the way Yeosang’s fingers tighten ever so slightly over your thigh.

Each of your thoughts during the moment washes over them now, and each man cannot help they way they stiffen. You were right. If Miyeon had managed to kill you right in front of their very eyes that day, they don’t think any of them would have survived.

Yeosang, San, Mingi, and Yunho all flinch when they see her step on your ankle, shattering the bones beneath her foot with a twisted sense of glee on her lips.

“The way she was convinced she was going to be living with you all after everything drove me insane.” Your brow furrows, your body beginning to tremble as that same anger you felt before begins to bubble beneath the surface of your skin. “She thought she could own you, and that’d you’d all just be okay with it.”

“She made you give her a tour of the house?” San can barely control his own anger as your memory continues to play through their minds.

You meet his gaze, the tight smile on your lips saying it all.

Snarls escape their throats as they hear what Miyeon spoke to you while in this very room.

“Every word she said to you was a filthy, fucking lie,” Seonghwa hisses out, his eyes shifting black for the briefest of moments.

Your breath catches slightly, and you find yourself blinking in response, not realizing how badly you needed to hear those words for the moment. You nod, slowly, allowing your memories of that day to continue.

Again, Yeosang’s hand over your thigh tightens its grip slightly as he sees you reach the music room. Of course, he saw the debris of the smashed piano when he went to briefly explore the house after everything. He can still remember the way tears leaked from his eyes as he cleaned the drops of your dried blood scattered along the floor before replacing the piano with a brand new one.

His breath hitches in his throat the moment he sees you prevent Miyeon from touching his violin. Even his brothers cannot help the way they shift their gaze between the two of you for a brief moment, and he knows that they all feel the exact same way as he does at seeing you protect his prized possession. Well, other than you, of course.

Only, the moment he sees Miyeon fling you into the piano in retribution, Yeosang cannot prevent the way tears are quick to gather and fall from his eyes.

So, that’s how the piano got destroyed.

You got hurt because of him. This is all his fault. Miyeon. Your injuries. How you almost died.

The moment you turn your head to see Yeosang’s blank stare, his eyes not even being able to look at you, you gently shake your thigh to grab his attention. As soon as he shifts his gaze to meet your own, you shoot him a small smile. It’s as much as you can muster for the moment, but from the way he blinks, you can tell that you at least have his attention.

“I don’t regret what I did,” you tell him, nothing but sincerity reflected in your tone. “I would do it all again, too. Without hesitation.”

The way you turn to meet Yunho’s, Hongjoong’s, and Seonghwa’s eyes says it all. Yet still, those three have yet to discover what exactly happened between you and Miyeon in regards to them. That does not mean that they believe you any less.

The scene shifts, and more growls are escaping their lips as they hear her disgusting words spat at you while observing the dining room. Then, you’re quickly making your way across the house before stepping into the tailor shop.

The way your entire body tenses as you relive this one part of your memories does not go unnoticed by them. Mingi even stops his movements over your shoulders for the moment in order to begin stroking a tender hand over the top of you head in comfort.

“The dress was beautiful,” you can barely manage to meet Seonghwa’s gaze, but you do.

The moment the first slash is made into the material, you avert your eyes. That same shame washes over you, guilt beginning to consume you as you observe Miyeon destroying Seonghwa’s own space for the second time.

You squeeze your eyes shut.

The whole while, Seonghwa sits there across from you, tense and heart aching. What hurts him the most is seeing the way Miyeon gleefully tore apart his things in order to hurt you. That is the worst part of all of this, because Seonghwa just knows you are still blaming yourself for the destruction that she caused.

A gentle hand placing itself onto your ankle beneath the table draws your attention to the male sitting across from you.

“My Divine, the fact that you cared enough to even attempt to stop her means more to me, to us, than you’ll ever know. I need you to know,” his intense gaze keeps yours locked on his own, “I don’t care that she destroyed my workshop. I care that she hurt you, and I care that she’s still hurting you.”

Tears begin to line your eyes, and you find you can only nod along to his words. You fear that if you open your mouth, the only thing that will escape you are sobs. Especially since you know what has still yet to come.

They all watch as she leads you into the library, and after the small exchange of words between the both of you, your entire form begins shaking in rage. Wooyoung can feel it as your hand trembles within his hold. Mingi can feel it against his legs, and Yeosang can feel it beneath his hand that he has resting on your thigh.

“I wanted to tear her apart,” you voice lowly, glaring at the top of the table before you. “Especially after what she told me. After what I learned.”

Before any of them has a chance to ask you what you mean, they watch her walk over to the garden. Again, a sense of pride builds in their chests as they hear you snap back at her with some smart remarks of your own. A pride that quickly dulls into nothing, though, as they hear her threaten to burn you alive.

“Don’t worry, Starlight,” Mingi continues to caress your upper body, hands trailing comfortingly along your shoulders for the moment. “We made sure to burn her corpse to a crisp. There’s nothing left but ashes, now.”

You can only nod your head in response before your memory is cutting out for the moment. You blink, seeing them all staring at you in worry.

“I can’t-“ your breathing deepens, bringing your one arm to rest against the top of the table for support as you lean forward. “I can’t-“

You can barely get the words out, your hand desperately clinging onto that small rock held within your right palm.

“Hey, hey,” it’s Wooyoung who draws your attention to him this time, releasing his hold on your hand in order to cup your face and turn your head to face him. “It’s okay. You’re safe. She cannot hurt you anymore.”

He holds your gaze, eyes staring deeply into your own as his thumbs tenderly caress the sides of your cheeks. Slowly, Wooyoung gets you to sync your breathing with his, managing to calm you down all the while. Against the skin of your back, you register a soft touch caressing your spine, and you just know that it’s Yeosang.

“We’re right here, Starlight,” Mingi’s voice rumbles out from above you, nothing but concern reflected in his eyes. A look he knows is mirrored on all of his brother’s faces for the moment.

Slowly, your left hand comes up to place itself over Wooyoung’s own that rests on the one side of your face. You find yourself leaning into his touch more than you realize as you manage to get your breathing back under control.

“Take your time, Darling,” nothing but worry is on Jongho’s face as his heart aches for you.

Oh, how he longs to be able to pull you into his arms for the moment, comforting you in any and every way that he knows how. All he wants to do is assure you that nothing will ever harm you again as he whispers sweet words of love and assurance into your ears. A sentiment he knows is shared by all of his brothers right now.

Taking a deep, albeit shaky breath in, you close your eyes.

“I can’t-“ your voice catches in your throat and you find yourself swallowing thickly. “I can’t relive what she did to me in there.”

“We understand,” it’s Hongjoong who answers, almost immediately, his own hand being placed onto the ankle of your other leg beneath the table.

“That doesn’t mean I still cannot tell you,” you breathe, keeping your eyes closed for the moment.

“You don’t have to, Petal,” Yunho assures you. “If the memory is too traumatic for you to remember-“

“No,” you cut him off softly. “I need to-“ you take another shaky breath in, “I need to talk about it to begin processing it. It’s the way I’ve always been.”

“Alright, Darling,” Jongho’s tone is gentle as he shifts slightly in his spot, as if to move closer to you for the moment. “Whenever you’re ready. We’re right here.”

A slow nod of your head is all that they receive in response as you turn your gaze to your hand resting on top of the table.

A brief silence.

“She-“ you hesitate. “She-“ you swallow, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. “She tried to drown me.”

A stillness so deadly settles over all of them as they let your words sink in.

“In the fountain.” You continue. “After killing all of the plants, and threatening to burn me alive,” you pause only briefly, “she tried to drown me.”

“Baby,” San’s worried gaze immediately fills with tears as he looks towards you.

A look which is mirrored on Mingi’s, Yunho’s, Jongho’s, and Yeosang’s faces. However, none of them are as bad as both Hongjoong and Wooyoung are.

Wooyoung’s whole body begins to tremble and he pulls himself up from his spot in order to begin pacing in the open area right beside the couch. His hands are clenched into fists, shaking all the while as he holds them at his sides. His chest rises and falls dramatically with each inhale, eyes flashing black for the briefest of moments.

Hongjoong, on the other hand, goes unnaturally still. His gaze loses focus as he stares directly in front of him for the time being. That is, until his entire body begins to shake.

Slowly, he pushes himself up onto his feet, and he can feel your dull eyes watching him the whole time. A fact which shatters his already fragile heart even more than it already is. Desperately, he tries to keep his tears at bay, but Hongjoong finds that he can no longer prevent the first from slipping down his face as he sees you gazing at him with your own sense of worry in your eyes.

A small sense of regret begins to linger throughout your mind at telling them this piece of information, given the way that they all seem to be reacting now.

“We should have done more to her,” Wooyoung is seething as he continues to pace back and forth. “We should have fucking torn her flesh right from her bones.”

“Wooyoung,” Jongho warns.

“It wasn’t enough,” Wooyoung continues. “It will never be enough.”

“Wooyoung.” Seonghwa’s firm voice manages to draw the younger’s furious gaze to him for the moment. “Calm yourself.”

“You can’t seriously be telling me that-“

“We all feel the exact same way,” Yeosang meets his brother’s gaze from over your shoulder, and the darkness he can see swirling within the elder’s own has him halting in his tracks.

“However, right now, your anger is not helping,” Yunho frowns at the man standing almost directly across from him.

At the way the elder flicks his gaze to your slightly trembling form held in Yeosang’s arms, Wooyoung is immediately back at your side.

“I’m so sorry, Angel,” Wooyoung’s gaze holds nothing but concern for you as he grabs your hand in his once more. “I’m not angry at you. Please, don’t think I’m angry at you.”

You shake your head slightly. “You’re allowed to be angry, Woo. You all are.”

He squeezes your hand in response.

“It’s just-“ you sigh, shifting your position slightly. “I’ve never been good with other people’s anger. Or shouting. Especially not when I’m in this sort of mental state.”

“We appreciate you telling us, Petal,” Yunho smiles softly at you from across the table.

“We promise to keep that in mind going forward,” San assures you gently, watching you nod in response.

Briefly, your eyes dart around the area, a frown pulling at your features. “Where’s Joong?”

Wordlessly, both Yunho and Seonghwa share a look between each other before the eldest is motioning with his head over his shoulder. At the way your brow furrows even deeper, eyes darting passed the couch and still not seeing Hongjoong anywhere, you begin to stand.

Once you’re on your feet, with a little help from Yeosang, Mingi, and Wooyoung, you’re carefully weaving your way through the sitting area to find your missing King. When you step passed the couch, you turn your head slightly from side to side, scanning the room. However, what you don’t expect is to see Hongjoong crouched behind the sofa, tears streaming down his face as he covers his mouth with his one hand in order to muffle his sobs.

“Oh, Hongjoong,” your expressions falls, synonymous with the way you drop to your knees before him. “My King, why are you crying?”

Your question, in that soft tone of yours filled with nothing but concern for him, only makes him sob harder. The way you pull him into your embrace in the next second has him clinging onto you for dear life, entire body shuddering as he buried his face into the side of your neck.

“How can you even stand to look at me right now?” He chokes on his breath, hands clinging desperately to your back despite his words. "I’ve failed you.”

“Why?” To say you’re completely caught off guard by his question would be an understatement. “Why would you think that?”

“It’s all my fault,” Hongjoong’s voice trembles as he inhales a shuddering breath. “The fountain-“ he chokes on a sob, “in the garden,” his grip tightens around you, “it was my idea.”

You stiffen the slightest bit beneath his touch, and it’s enough to have him clinging onto you harder, afraid that you may slip between his very fingers at any moment.

“She tried to kill you using everything of my own,” he admits, voice barely above a whisper, and it’s like he confesses to the darkest of sins right then and there. “It was my blade she used to torture you with. It was my fountain she tried to drown you in. It was my wards that she broke through.” His voice is but a mere rasp, overcome by his emotions for the time being. “It’s all my fault.”

You take a moment to collect your own thoughts, tightening your grip around him as you begin to thread your fingers gently through his hair with your free hand.

“You know I don’t believe that for one second, right?” You keep your voice calm, much steadier than you thought you’d be able to for the moment. “I thought I told you that I don’t blame you, any of you, for what she did.”

“I still gave her the means to hurt you.” He replies, somewhat bluntly.

“Was that ever your intent?” You turn his own words back on him.

A brief pause in which he pulls away only the slightest in order to meet your gaze. His eyes shine with a fear unlike anything you’ve ever seen from him before at the mere suggestion.

“No,” he shakes his head slightly. “Never.”

“Exactly.” You brush your hand over his cheek tenderly. “You swore yourself that you would never hurt me, and My Love, you never have. None of you have ever hurt me, nor could you ever hurt me in the ways that she did. I know for a fact that none of you would ever forgive yourselves if you did.”

You fail to see how all males stiffen behind the couch both you and Hongjoong are hidden behind. Though, you most certainly hear the way all of their breaths hitch in their throats, including the King before you.

“You did not hold my head beneath the water. You have never raised a blade to my skin,” the way the thumb of your right hand caresses over where that all too familiar scar rests over his own chest has a shiver running down his spine. You meet his gaze. “I know you never will. At least, not with the intent to hurt me. Not like she did.”

“The reason I lasted so long,” you continue. “The reason I was able to hold out against her for as long as I did, was because I knew. I knew that the second you got back that you would come to save me. You would protect me with everything that you are like you always have. All of you. It’s the reason I am able to talk about what happened right now, so quickly after everything. Sure, I’m fucking traumatized, but at least I’m speaking about it. I can begin to process these emotions because I know you’ll all be with me every step of the way. A thing that I’ve never done before so soon after such an incident.”

“My Love,” he breathes, and you notice how he’s beginning to calm down more and more with each word you speak.

“I know it’s hard not to blame yourself for every little thing that goes wrong,” you place your chin atop his head as you pull him to rest against your chest so that he can hear the sound of your beating heart. “Believe me, I’ve been there. I’m still there. What we all have to realize is that we can never control the actions of others. We can only choose how to react to what they do around us. We can either let their past wrongdoings consume us, letting those memories control our every thought and feeling, or we can grow from it.”

“I am tired of letting her make me feel powerless, even in death,” you exhale a long breath. “It’s even worse knowing the hold she still has over all of you. There is nothing I hate more than seeing the people I care about in pain, or blaming themselves for something that is completely out of their control.”

“So, please, My King, do not waste any more time crying over a matter that does not deserve any of your tears.” Slowly, you wipe the remaining droplets away with your thumb as he pulls back to meet your gaze. “Do not allow her the satisfaction of seeing you break, even after death. It’s exactly what she wants, and I’ll be damned before I let her get her way ever again.”

A small silence settles over the room as Hongjoong stares deeply into your eyes. His hands still desperately hold you close, gaze shining with nothing but the deepest form of love you’ve ever seen from him. Not only that, but gratitude.

Slowly, you tilt your head forward, pressing your lips to his forehead in a lingering kiss.

Hongjoong absolutely melts into your embrace, sniffling softly as he blinks away his remaining tears.

“Here you are comforting me when I’m the one supposed to be comforting you,” he jokes lightheartedly, hearing a soft chuckle fall from your lips.

“Grief is a two way street, My Love,” you reply, and you do not fail to hear the way his breath hitches this time as you say those two little words.

Once more, Hongjoong’s gaze absolutely shines with adoration as he looks at you, revelling in this moment for as long as he can. Your words have reassured him more than you’ll ever know, and he knows, along with all of his brothers, that he has only just fallen even deeper in love with you.

“Now, let’s go back and sit on the couch,” you begin to stand, stretching out your legs all the while. “My butt is getting numb.”

The way you see a few of their brows raised in slight amusement as you turn back towards them all has your eyes flashing in amusement.

“No suggestive ass jokes from any of you right now,” your glare is playful as you walk hand in hand with Hongjoong back over to the one couch.

Sitting beside Mingi, you notice that he oh, so innocently averts his gaze from you for the time being as you hear Wooyoung’s laughter coming from the ground at your feet. In the next moment, they’ve all pushed themselves up, sitting in spots around the various couches and chairs lining the area. All except for the two males that still sit on the ground near your feet.

You hold onto Hongjoong’s hand, pulling it into your lap as you lean into Mingi’s side. Your legs come up to rest across the elder’s own, smiling faintly as you feel him wrap an arm around them soon after. Even Mingi’s arm wraps itself around you, pulling you that much closer into his side for the moment as you find yourself relaxing beneath their touch.

Still, that pebble of yours rests in your free hand.

Sparing a glance downwards, that’s when you notice that Yeosang still sits on the floor in front of you. He faces towards you, resting his arm against the side of the couch as it supports his chin. The way he tenderly looks up at you has you placing your stone onto your one thigh for a brief second in order to reach out and caress the side of his face. He leans into your touch, eyes fluttering shut as he feels your thumb stroking gently over his cheek.

“I could tell all she ever wanted was you,” your voice is a bit smaller than before as you continue to recount the events that transpired while they were gone. “No one else mattered more to her than you.”

A pointed line from Miyeon echoing throughout all of their minds has them inhaling sharply.

“Sure, she would take all of you in the end,” you say, keeping your tone low as you dive back into those emotions once more. “If only to prove that she could. Yet, it was always you she desired above all else. Until the very end.”

“I would never have let her have me,” he replies, staring deeply into your eyes. “Not in a billion years.”

You smile sadly, “she wasn’t going to give you a choice.”

Before they can even ask you to elaborate further, they are dropped back into your memories. The pain alone that they can feel echoing through your past thoughts has all of their chests squeezing tightly in response. Already, you were hurt so badly, and you still had to endure everything else that Miyeon had in store for you.

The moment you fling yourself in front of Yunho’s art room, their breaths are hitching in their throats. Though, none are as loud as the artist himself.

“Petal,” his voice trembles as he stares at you from across the table. You sit nearly diagonally apart from him, gaze fixated on that stone now back in your one hand as your thumb traces over every little bump and crevasse.

Nothing could have prepared him for the ferocity in which you had tried to protect his space with. The sheer desperation he can hear in your voice, even after you continuously got the wind knocked out of you by being smashed through the door has a feeling unlike ever before swirling in his chest.

“She tore everything apart without a second thought,” your eyes squeeze shut, fresh tears lining your lashes as you attempt to keep them at bay for now. “I tried to stop her, Universe. I really did.”

“I know, Petal,” instantly, he’s right beside you, kneeling on the ground as Yeosang moves the slightest bit over to give him some space. “I know.”

“She desecrated everything you worked so hard on,” a heart wrenching sob tears from your chest, and you cannot bring yourself to open your eyes to even look at him for the moment.

Yunho can still remember the moment he walked into his art room to see the shattered remains of the door, your blood soaking into the torn pages of his sketchbook littering the floor. The worst of it was the dried smear right in front of the canvass on display in the corner of the room, and he just knew something terrible had happened to you for that painting to remain perfectly intact.

The flower crown can be remade. His sketches can be redrawn. Hell, even that canvass he could paint again. But you? You?

Irreplaceable.

The moment they see Miyeon turn the sketchbook around in your memories, a blank page greets them. Immediately, they all understand that this is you respecting Yunho’s art in your own way by not showing them a picture he potentially hadn’t yet. Yunho knows that though this fact is unquestionably true, it is also you keeping your shared intimacy of that day the two of you claimed one another private.

A fact which warms his heart more than you’ll ever know.

Tears spring to his own eyes the instant he sees you lunge for Miyeon in order to protect that painting in the corner of the room. Even some of his brothers cannot help the tears that line the corners of their vision as they watch you do whatever you can to protect Yunho’s art. The second they see Miyeon slash your body as you jump in front of her blade to prevent it from ever striking the canvass, the tears are flowing freely from San’s, Mingi’s, Seonghwa’s, Yeosang’s, and Wooyoung’s eyes.

“You got hurt protecting the painting.” Yunho nearly chokes on his own voice. “For me.”

Finally, you open your eyes, turning your head to look at him as tears slide down your face shamelessly. Slowly, you nod your head.

“I wouldn’t let her touch it.” You swallow thickly. “I couldn’t.”

“You got hurt because of me,” Yunho practically collapses on top of your stomach, arms desperately wrapping themselves around your torso as he sobs into you.

“No, Universe,” immediately, you drop Hongjoong’s hand in favour of running your fingers gently through Yunho’s hair. “I chose to try and protect your art, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I’m only sorry that I failed you.” You avert your gaze. “I was too weak.”

You feel both Mingi and Hongjoong shuffle the slightest bit closer to you, a hand that you’d bet anything belongs to Yeosang coming to rest on your lower thigh. Even Yunho raises his head to look at you, shaking his head in your direction as his arms tighten around your waist.

“No, Petal,” he meets your gaze. “You were so brave. So, unbelievably, brave. The fact that you so desperately wanted to save my art, that you wanted to protect all of our things, means more to me, to us, than you’ll ever know. We don’t care about the things Miyeon destroyed. They can be replaced. You cannot.”

You hand shifts to cup the side of his cheek, thumb stroking tenderly over his skin. You can feel your emotions catching in your throat, and you swallow thickly, especially when you feel Hongjoong squeeze your legs tenderly in his lap.

Slowly, you begin to nod.

Yunho sends you a small, relieved smile. One which you weakly mirror as you raise a hand to dry your eyes.

“Do not feel guilty for the things you cannot control, Petal,” Yunho softly reminds you. “Know that we do not blame you at all.”

Again, all you can do is nod, smiling faintly as you wipe the lingering tears from your eyes. Your emotions begin to settle, even if only the slightest bit, and you find a weight lifted from your chest that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding on to. The way you can see all of them still staring at you so tenderly, eyes full of nothing but love and worry for you makes your heart warm. You feel comforted, protected, and safe, especially as you continue to rest in their arms.

Carefully, you begin to sit up once more, resting your feet on the ground as the four males surrounding you give you the space to move. Blinking, you turn your head to the other male who still sits on the floor, arms crossed against the cushion of the couch as he stares up at you with nothing but worry shining in his eyes.

Slowly, you stand, stepping over Mingi as you reach your hand out to Wooyoung. Immediately, he takes it, and you’re helping him to stand, only to pull him down to sit on the couch with you on Mingi’s opposite side. You wrap your arms around his waist, holding him in your lap as you feel him bury his face into the side of your neck.

“I’m sorry that she chose the room of your passion to hurt all of us in,” you whisper, feeling the way he tightens his hold around you almost instantly.

A tear lands on your skin, followed by another, and then another. Even though Wooyoung does his best to muffle the sounds of his sobs, you can tell how badly this fact affects him, given the way his entire form begins to tremble in your arms.

You spare a look around at all of them as you begin to thread your fingers through Wooyoung’s hair, offering him any sort of comfort that you can for the moment.

“I don’t think I need to go into explicit detail as to what she did to me in that room,” you begin, swallowing thickly. “You all saw the state of my body.”

“It is a sight we wish we’d never have had to behold,” Seonghwa breathes, as if recalling that very image now. “Nor do we ever want to see you in again.”

“I never knew fear before until I heard you scream that day,” Jongho admits, hands trembling as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“I don’t think any of us did,” Hongjoong blinks, staring down at his hands in his lap with wide eyes.

“If it’s any comfort to you,” you briefly spare a glance around at all of them, “that was the only time she made me scream. She only succeeded once.”

“She did?” San sits slightly forward in his seat to your left.

“I swore to myself as soon as she appeared that I would not let her see me cry, or hear me scream.” You tell them. “It worked, for the most part. Until she got inside my head. I don’t physically remember much after that. Not until Yunho found me again.”

The way you shift your gaze to send the male to your right a small smile has a faint one of his own tugging at his lips.

“But, while she was-“ you take a deep breath, “while she was torturing me, I managed to get quite a bit of information out of her. She was more than happy to boast of her achievements to me.”

“Did she, now?” Seonghwa quirks a brow in your direction.

You nod, immediately launching into an explanation of everything you were able to find out from Miyeon over the course of your little conversation with her. You can see the way each male takes in the information, some of the facts physically repulsing them.

“She was going to brainwash you all into loving her after she had killed me in front of you,” you tell them. “She used Dimitri as a test run, proving that such a monumental loss of love could break someone enough to allow her control over their minds. Even now, that fact alone makes me sick. She wasn’t going to let any of you have a choice. She-“

Your breath catches in your throat as you instantly shut your mouth. A thought so terrifying flits through your mind as your fingers dig into the skin on Wooyoung’s back.

Of course, each male instantly notices your shift in demeanour. Worry tugs onto all of their features as you go unnaturally quiet, entire body still as you stare into the open air beside Seonghwa’s head.

You blink, keeping your voice low. “She is what all of you could have become.”

The briefest of flashes of that one conversation at the mall flits through all of their minds, and they all inhale sharply.

“I don’t mean to ever be insinuating that I’m comparing any of you to her,” you are quick to add. “You all are nothing like her, and please know that I realize that. You let me keep my autonomy. You chose to let me keep my own mind. She was the one willing to take that all away due to her own twisted sense of obsession. That, and she wasn’t afraid of hurting you to get what she wanted. A fact which I know none of you would ever do to me.”

You’re beginning to ramble at this point, anxiety clawing at your chest as you’re worried you’ve offended them for the moment.

“I-“ you blink, attempting to find the words to say, “I-“

“Shh, Starlight,” Mingi’s reassuring voice sounds right by your ear, his hand stroking along the back of your head. “We know you meant no offence.”

The sigh of relief you breathe is bigger than you anticipate, feeling Wooyoung chuckle against you in the next second. At least he’s stopped crying for now.

“Don’t worry, Angel,” he whispers lowly, his breath tickling the shell of your opposite ear. “You were just stating an observation you had made. A brilliant one at that.”

“I can’t believe she killed his family to try and get what she wanted,” San breathes, leaning further back into his seat.

“Shouldn’t that mean her hold over him is gone?” You inquire, eyes briefly flitting over all of them before locking with Yunho’s.

“Not necessarily,” Yunho frowns. “It depends on how strong the manipulation runs, and from the sounds of it, she altered his entire conscience. Mina did incur that whatever Miyeon had planned would still guarantee her victory, even in death.”

“Then, is there any way to free his mind? Or Mina’s?” You briefly recall what they told you about that locked knot of memories inside Mina’s head when they got back from their council the other day.

“If we managed to free Dimitri, he could free Mina instantly,” Yunho explains. “However, freeing Dimitri could require a lot of time and effort. Not to mention wards to keep him from lashing out, that we just don’t have right now.”

“Malik, though, is a completely different story.” Seonghwa sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“He’s dangerous, even without being a man in love,” Hongjoong adds, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, perfectly mirroring the exact position of the youngest who sits across from him.

“I bet neither will take too kindly to us after finding out Miyeon is dead,” Mingi crosses his arms over his chest as he sits back on the couch.

“Considering she managed to convince him to stage a coup twenty years ago despite being one of the most loyal generals we ever had,” San huffs. “Yeah, I think we’ve got some bigger issues than we think.”

“I’m surprised he ever fell for her.” Jongho adds. “Do you think she even cared for him?”

“I don’t think she was capable of loving anyone other than herself,” Wooyoung spits, quite harshly.

Soothingly, you rub a hand down his spine, feeling the way his whole body relaxes beneath your touch.

“She is the most vile, disgusting, loathsome creature I have ever had the displeasure of meeting,” you hiss, tightening your hold the slightest bit around Wooyoung’s waist.

Eight low growls of agreement echo around your room.

You go to speak once more, only for your voice to catch in your throat. That same glow that you saw in your bathroom earlier that day now rests right behind the couch Seonghwa and Jongho sit on. Vaguely, you can make out a shape, and it really does look like a person.

“Who-“ your panicked voice reaches all of their ears, “who is that?”

Immediately, all eight of them are turning to look in the direction your frantic gaze is in. Wooyoung even goes so far as to hop off of your lap, crouching in front of you protectively as all eight of them snarl threateningly at whatever presence seems to have caught your eye.

Only, a moment later, their shoulders are relaxing, eight heads turning back to look at you.

“You can see them?” Jongho inquires, head tilted slightly in curiosity.

“See what?” Your gaze never leaves that shining figure as it takes a step towards Seonghwa’s right, standing directly behind his one shoulder.

“Spirit souls, My Love,” Hongjoong answers you.

“Who-“

Turning his head once more, Seonghwa smiles softly, recognizing the figure instantly.

“It’s your grandmother, My Divine,” he turns his gentle gaze back towards you.

Sure enough, focusing a little more intently, the figure of your grandmother becomes clearer and clearer.

“How?” You breathe, sitting forward slightly on the couch as you see her smiling so fondly at you.

“We can all see them, but only Hwa can usually make out who it is,” Mingi explains.

“It’s most likely a side effect from ingesting his blood, My Dear,” Yeosang’s voice is gentle, and you glance briefly at him out of the corner of your eyes before your gaze is being drawn back to your grandmother.

“She’s been around this whole time, though she doesn’t appear as often as you’d think.” Seonghwa adds, noticing how you blink in awe. “Gave me a massive scolding after we came back from visiting the dragon’s nest, though.”

“You can talk with her?” The wonder they can all hear lingering throughout your tone has all of their hearts warming in their chests.

Seonghwa nods. “Only sometimes, though. Mainly when her emotions are extremely heightened. Otherwise, it’s mainly feelings that I pick up on.”

“Oh, goodness,” your eyes keep flitting between both him and your grandmother who stands resting with her hand on his shoulder. “I hope she hasn’t told you anything embarrassing about me.”

At the way he smiles, your eyes widen.

“Mars!” You nearly throw a pillow at him as you watch him chuckle across from you.

Then, as if deciding that she’s done checking on you, and making sure that you’re okay for the moment, your grandmother shoots you a cheeky thumbs up before vanishing into thin air.

“I think you just got my grandmother’s approval,” you blink, slightly stunned for the moment.

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time,” he grins, loving the way your eyes widen significantly at this fact.

“I don’t want to know,” you shake your head playfully. Then, as if realizing something, “wait, if Hwa is the only one that can make out the figures, what do they all look like to you?”

The question you pose is for all of them, and you watch them smile at you from around the sitting area. That all too familiar curiosity tugs at your mind once more. A feeling that they haven’t experienced for quite some time, but are each more than happy to revel in it now.

“Usually just a faint glowing orb of some sort,” Mingi answers for you, noting the look of wonder still shining within your eyes.

“Huh,” you nod, clearly impressed. “Neat.”

You blink, subconsciously beginning to run a thumb over that stone still held in your one hand.

“Do you know if I’ll get any other side effects specific to the eight of you when I ingest your blood?” You ask, nothing but curiosity reflected in your gaze.

They all share a look between each other, your choice of words sending pleasant tingles down their spines.

“Honestly, Darling, we have no idea,” Jongho says. “We didn’t even know it was possible to have any personalized side effects from any of our blood. If at all.”

You nod once more. “A bit of a weird question, but what does blood taste like to you?”

“It can taste like a variety of things, depending on the type and rarity,” Wooyoung explains. “Though, the majority of it will just taste like iron to many.”

“Type?” You quirk a brow, noticing how he didn’t really answer your question.

“It mainly just tastes sweet to us, but it can still be addicting,” San adds, sharing a knowing look with Mingi who still rests beside you on the couch.

“Do you know what your own blood tastes like?” You ask, eyes glancing around at all of them.

“Just tastes like blood to us,” Wooyoung shrugs, back to sitting on the floor by your feet. “Why? Did Hwa’s blood taste like something to you?”

Eight pairs of eager eyes watch you closely as you shift slightly on the couch.

Curling yourself into the corner of the cushions, you cross your legs, pulling a pillow into your lap in the next second to hug it to your chest.

“Tasted like dark chocolate.” You shrug. “And a faint bit of iron.”

Slowly, you watch a smug smirk pull at Seonghwa’s features as his brother’s heads all whip around to look at him. He can feel the content rumble building within his chest that wants to escape him at learning of this revelation. He only wishes that the context were better.

“So, I’m also assuming yours,” you motion to Wooyoung with your head, drawing all of their attention back onto you for the moment, “tastes like cranberry juice, and a little bit of iron. Based on that tonic you gave me.”

“It’s possible,” Wooyoung nods. “Though, my blood was quite diluted in that.”

You nod, blinking a few times in wonder. “Did my blood taste like anything?”

Immediately, all eyes are on Wooyoung, his brothers waiting for his response with bated breath.

“To be quite honest, Gorgeous, I wish I could tell you.” Wooyoung notices the way his brother’s shoulders all deflate in disappointment at his words. “I didn’t take enough to fully taste anything other than to check for poison. I also had a few, more important things on my mind.”

“Fair enough,” this time when you nod, your eyes seem to zone out, the reminder of the state that they found you in enough to have your mood plummeting once more.

Beside you, Mingi tenses, feeling Yunho digging his fingers into the skin of his knee. Sparing a glance at the elder male shows Yunho subtly shaking his head in Mingi’s direction, the faintest of warnings lingering in his brother’s gaze.

Subtly, Mingi nods back, body relaxing once he feels Yunho remove his hand from his knee.

Of course Yunho would warn Mingi to keep his mouth shut for the moment. The younger only wanted to joke about tasting your blood for you to know whether it had any particular flavour to it. A curiosity which is mirrored in each male, but now is not the time for such inquiries given the way your whole demeanour has just dropped.

Pulling the pillow closer to your chest, you rest your head against the edge. Desperately, you cling onto the material, thumb back to tracing along the side of your pebble. Your eyes stare, unfocused, at the table before you, seemingly lost inside your own head.

“I thought she was going to split my skull right open,” you admit, keeping your voice low. “I don’t know how I managed to fend her off mentally for so long, but I did. She jumped at every opportunity to smash through, and once I started slipping, she-“ you squeeze your eyes shut. “She used my own darkest fears against me. That’s how she was able to break through.”

“Baby,” San sits forward once more in his seat, reaching out for you worriedly. “You don’t have to tell us if you’re not comfortable. We don’t want to push you.”

“You’ve already shared so much with us today,” Seonghwa does whatever he can to get you to meet his gaze for the moment, but you keep your eyes shut, trembling breaths escaping your figure with each passing second. “Please, don’t push yourself.”

“I-“ you stop yourself, taking a long and slow breath inwards to steady your nerves. Finally, you open your eyes, and the faint determination they can all see shining behind your broken gaze says it all. “I think it’s time for you all to know some things about me that I have kept hidden for so long. I want to share them with you. I need you all to understand just how she broke me, and why I always say that I cannot go back there again.”

A collective stillness settles around the room as they all inhale sharply. Each male’s gaze is filled with nothing but worry for you, hearts pounding inside their chests as they observe you carefully.

“Before I begin, I need to know that you’re all okay with hearing this,” at the way you see Jongho shift forward, lips parting as if to answer you, you’re raising your one hand slightly to halt his response. “There already has been a lot of heavy topics discussed today, and what I’m about to tell you is no exception. I don’t want to just dump this on you all given everything that has happened recently. That’s not fair to you in the slightest if you don’t have the mental capacity to be able to process the information I am about to share with you. I do not want to overwhelm you.”

“Your consideration means more to us than you’ll ever know, Dearest,” Yeosang smiles softly. A pain filled smile that reflects the way his heart aches for you inside of his chest for the moment. Even still, after everything that has occurred, you’re looking out for them before considering yourself and your own needs.

“You will find, My Love, that we always have the ability to listen to whatever it is you would like to tell us,” Hongjoong’s soft voice draws your attention to him at the opposite end of the couch. “No matter the topic.”

“Whenever,” Jongho adds lightly.

“Wherever,” Mingi breathes.

“We are right here for you,” Seonghwa finally manages to get you to meet his gaze, smiling tenderly in your direction all the while. “Always.”

The way fresh tears begin to line your eyes has each male shifting closer to you instantly. Both Mingi and Wooyoung place a comforting hand onto each one of your knees, letting you know that they’re all here for you in whatever ways they can be for the moment. Never do you have to suffer alone. Never do they want you to suffer alone anymore.

With all that they are, and with everything they can, they will comfort you, protect you, and love you unquestionably until the end of time.

“You really all don’t know how much that means to me,” you smile weakly. “I mean this from the bottom of my heart: the eight of you are everything I could have ever asked for.”

Gentle smiles greet you from around the room, tears springing to each male’s eyes as your words wash over them.

A moment of silence settles over all of you as they let your confession sink in.

Then, Yunho clears his throat, voice still rough as he speaks, “whenever you’re ready, Petal.”

Softly, you nod in response, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves once more.

“I’m sure you can all remember how I broke down that one day,” you begin, noticing how they all seem to stiffen around you in response. “That voice had been with me for over a year before I almost let it win.”

The way you squeeze the pillow tighter is synonymous with they way that they all inhale sharply once more. You can feel the way Seonghwa looks at you from across the table. A concerned look shared by all of his brothers, but you can tell that his is slightly different. Different, because he understands.

“I never thought that I was capable of being loved.”

Your confession knocks the wind right out of them.

“I hated myself so deeply. I thought that there was always something wrong with me.” You go on to say, keeping your voice low for the moment as you avoid all of their gazes. “While my friends would be going on dates, or texting me about their relationships, I was always alone. Nobody wanted me. How could they? I wasn’t beautiful like everyone else. I could barely hold someone’s attention long enough for them to be interested in me, and when I finally found someone who bothered to spend time with me, it never worked out.”

“Perhaps it was because I’ve always been a hopeless romantic at heart, or maybe it was all the stupid ideals surrounding love that I had. Yet, despite everything, I had such high standards. For myself. For this supposed mystery lover I always dreamed about having. For everything.” You explain, eyes now fixed on the way your thumb rubs over the smooth side of that rock in your hand.

“Yet, whenever someone did genuinely express interest in me, I couldn’t help but always doubt.” You chew nervously on your bottom lip. “I was never the most popular girl, and everyone thought I was just this ugly weirdo who tried to get any sort of attention that I could. So, of course, no one thought anything of it to pretend to like me. I laughed it off at the time, sure, but hearing that someone you thought cared about you only asked you out as a dare, or for a joke, or to prove how nobody actually likes you, or will ever like you, is so mind-numbingly heartbreaking that it completely destroys you inside.”

Eight low growls build in their throats, anger bubbling beneath the surface at whoever so much as dared to play with your heart like this. Once they find out who it was, they’re dead. Though, for now, they’ll stay with you. They’ll listen, even if their hearts are suffocating from your every word.

Knowing you have felt like this, that you have continued to feel like this for quite some time, pains them beyond belief.

If only they had met you sooner. If only they had known.

“I never believed that anyone could love me, let alone be in love with me.” You breathe, silent tears beginning to make their ways down your cheeks. “My depression just made everything worse. I had so much self-loathing for myself, I could hardly look in the mirror without being disgusted by everything that I saw.”

“I have always sought approval from those around me. So, if no one could love me, why should I bother to love myself?” You smile faintly, a broken tug of your lips upwards. “Which is when I realized something about myself that must have been unquestionably true. Something that became my biggest fear the more I realized it to be real.”

You take a shaky breath inwards, eyes squeezing shut as you refuse to meet any of their gazes.

“I was unlovable,” shame washes over your entire figure as you curl in on yourself, voice no more than a whisper on your lips. “I always had been, and I believed I always would be.”

Carefully, you feel yourself being pulled onto somebody’s lap and a choked sob escapes you. Still, you are unable to open your eyes to look at them, clutching that stone desperately in your one hand as you cling to the pillow in your arms for dear life. However, what you fail to see is how all eight of them surround you.

Mingi gently cradles you in his arms once more, keeping your head tucked just below his chin. Tears stream freely down his face, a few falling against the crown of your head as you lean into him.

Wooyoung rests beside you to your left, his hand placed comfortingly onto the skin of your back, along with San’s, who rests as close as he can to you on the floor by Wooyoung’s feet. Yunho sits right beside him, his hand placed gently onto your waist for the moment as he silently chokes on a sob. Seonghwa kneels to his left, hand trembling along with his whole body as he keeps his fingers pressed against your hip for the time being.

Against your thigh, you can feel someone resting their forehead. Their hands desperately cling onto you as they sob against your skin.

Never has Yeosang felt his heart break more for you in this moment. He feels as if he has failed you, especially now that he knows that you went through this. The fact that you had ever felt like this, that you had continued to feel like this for a large portion of your life devastates him. He only wishes he could have done something sooner, to both ease your insecurities and tell you, show you, how those thoughts have never been true, nor will they ever be.

Kneeling on the floor right by your shins rests Jongho. His one arm is wrapped around your lower leg, hugging you to him as much as he can as the lower half of your body is held within Hongjoong’s own grip. Your legs drape themselves over his lap once more as silent tears escape his eyes.

“My mental health was at an all time low. I felt worthless, and completely and utterly useless.” You continue quietly, resting your head against Mingi’s chest. “Continuously finding my sister so close to death at her own hands took it’s toll as well. After all, if she could do it, why couldn’t I?”

Eight choked sobs reach your ears, and you can feel the hand placed over your hip tighten its grip even more so than the others.

“I felt as if I had no reason to live anymore. I didn’t want to,” your entire body begins to shake in their hold. “If no one desired me, then obviously I had no value in being alive.”

“Not to mention, that voice just made everything worse,” you go on to say. “I blamed myself for everything. My sister, my depression, the fact that I was unlovable. I was weak, and I let those voices win.”

Suddenly, the eight of them are thrown into a memory. Not just any memory, though. The memory of the worst night of your life.

Tears stream down your face as you look into the reflection of your mirror across from your bed. Your entire body trembles as you clutch a pillow to your chest, hand fumbling with that little stone desperately as you attempt to ground yourself to no avail. Briefly, your eyes keep darting to a folded piece of paper resting beside you on the bed before glancing back up at the vanity with the mirror across from you.

That’s when they notice where your gaze truly lies. For on the vanity rests a bottle of pills, a glass of water practically glaring at them from beside it.

Your emotions begin to flood their every sense. Shame, disgust, despair, and hatred wash over them unfiltered. A pain so great echoes in their hearts, feeling as if they are being suffocated with every breath they take, and they just know that this is exactly how you felt in this moment as they watch you begin to shift off of the bed.

With every step you take towards the vanity, they can hear those vicious voices spewing the harshest insults at you, taunting you with every breath. The most vile lies they have ever heard about you are thrown at yourself without a second thought, though the one they hear resound through their minds as you reach your vanity has sobs tearing from their chests.

It would be easier this way.

They can do nothing but watch as you slowly begin to take the pills before walking back to your bed. Crawling on top of the covers, you lay yourself down on your back, gently clutching that letting in your hands and resting them on top of your stomach.

You close your eyes.

You don’t know how much time had passed, and neither do they, for the next thing they know, your blurry vision is back and you’re throwing up into a bucket. Your sister sits worriedly beside you, tears streaming down her face as she sobs into her phone, a trembling hand rubbing over your back. Your letter rests open on the floor at your feet, stains lining the page in splatters as the ink smudges from your sister’s tears.

“My parents had gone away for a weekend trip. They would have been back the following morning,” your voice manages to pull them back to the reality in front of them, chest heaving with every breath. “I planned it so they would find me as soon as they got home, but my sister decided to come over that night instead.”

“How wonderful a sight that would have been.” You laugh humourlessly, dull eyes finally open as your broken gaze stares forward, refusing to look at any of them for the moment. “My parents go away for a weekend to celebrate their anniversary, and they come back to the gift of a dead daughter.”

“My sister rode with me in the ambulance, and she stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital. My parents still think I simply got alcohol poisoning from drinking too much that night, because that’s what we told them. Before they got home, she went back and burned my letter so they wouldn’t find it, and that’s when we vowed to each other that we would get through this together.” You breathe out, sniffling lightly. “And we did.”

“It took a while, and a lot of therapy, but I got better.” There’s a slight shift in your tone. A sort of lightness that wasn’t there before. A lightness that reflects hope. “Slowly, I learned to quiet those voices, and manage them until I could learn to reason with myself. I may not have been fully able to love myself, but at least my depression was under control. The world finally started to have some vibrance to it again.”

“Now you see why I never want to go back there again,” you bring your hands up to rub at your tired eyes. “I couldn’t. I promised my sister I never would. I promised myself that I would never let my depression get that bad again. I would never let those fears, those voices control me again.”

For the first time in over twenty minutes, you finally begin to meet their gazes.

“I never believed someone could be in love with me.” You repeat, shoulders relaxing the slightest bit as you settle your hands lightly back onto the pillow in your lap. “Until all of you.”

The way they all softly gasp your name has your heart warming in your chest.

“You all made me believe in love again. You made me believe I could be loved.” Still, you keep your voice low, nothing more than a gentle whisper on your lips. “You have made me believe I am beautiful. You have made me feel desired. You have all made me feel so incredibly special in every way imaginable, but more than all of that, you have made me feel loved.”

Soft, affectionate rumbles build in their chests, each male shifting closer to you as much as he can.

“There was always a reason that I replied to you with ‘I believe you,’” you continue, feeling your heartbeat thumping from within your chest, “and this was it.”

You can feel the love pouring out of all of their gazes as they continue to stare at you with nothing but fondness in their eyes. Yes, there is still undoubtedly that concern mixed within, but each male cannot prevent the way their hearts absolutely soar at your confession in this very moment here in time. The way you seem to absolutely revel not only in their touch, but their love is simply icing on the cake.

“Which is exactly why when she broke through to my mind, and started implementing those false memories within me, I didn’t believe them at first.” You say, swallowing thickly as your whole body tenses within their hold once more. “So, when she threw me back into feeling exactly as I did during the darkest part of my life, only to-“ your voice catches as you squeeze your eyes shut, “to continue adding more fuel to the fire, I broke.”

“Is that-“ San is the first to speak after all of them being silent for so long. “Is that when she made you scream?”

You shift your head to look at him, nodding slightly once you meet his gaze. “I think so.”

You blink, turning your head back around to stare passed all of them again.

“I think she put her own memories of you into my mind, but instead of her being on the receiving end, it was me.” You breathe, staring blankly ahead. “After all, it’s the people that we care about the most that can shatter us the quickest.”

The way they all collectively inhale sharply at your words has you taking a deep breath. Again, you feel Seonghwa tighten his grip slightly over your hip.

“They were.” Yunho clears his throat. “They were all hers. We would never look at you like that. We couldn’t. I would rather gouge my own eyes out than make you believe I would ever look at you with anything other than love in my gaze.”

“We all would,” Jongho confirms, nothing but sincerity reflected in both his tone and eyes.

You smile faintly. “I believe you.”

Eight gentle caresses of your mind serve as their response, helping to ease a bit more of the tension that consumes your figure for the time being.

“I do not want to allow her to continue to have a hold over me, even after death,” you swallow. “However, it is a lot easier said than done.”

“What can we do?” Mingi’s voice rumbles out above you, chin shifting from resting on the top of your head in order to place his lips upon the crown. “What can we do to make it better, Starlight?”

“You’ve already done more than I could ever ask for,” your honest reply warms their hearts more than you’ll ever know. “I don’t think I would have been able to talk about things so soon were it not for all of you. Were it not for what you all have done, and continue to do for me. What you all mean to me.”

Soft rumbles of affection greet your ears, and your heart flutters in your chest knowing that they’re all here to comfort you for the moment.

“For now, all I ask is that you stay with me.” You feel yourself fully relax against Mingi’s chest, allowing yourself to feel all of them surrounding you with their touch, their comfort, and their protection.

“Always, My Love,” Hongjoong breathes, thumb gently stroking along the skin of your knee as he continues to hold your legs over his lap.

“We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Yunho smiles softly at you.

“Thank you, My Divine, for sharing this with us,” Seonghwa reaches up to grab your hand gently in his own, bringing the back of it to his lips and placing a lingering kiss upon your skin.

“Thank you for trusting us.” Yeosang turns his head towards you, keeping it resting against the skin of your thigh as he meets your gaze.

“We will always be here for you, in whatever ways you need us,” Jongho adds, squeezing your shin lightly for emphasis.

“If you ever need anything from us, anything at all,” San soothingly rubs his hand in circles over your lower back, feeling you physically relax beneath his touch. “Please, Baby, never be afraid to ask.”

“We would do anything for you,” Wooyoung places his hand upon your shoulder, thumb caressing your skin lightly.

“All we want is to make you happy,” Jongho smiles softly.

“We love you, Starlight,” Mingi leans his head forward to rest his forehead against your own. “Please, never forget that.”

This time when tears spring to your eyes, it’s for a completely different reason. Now, you cannot help the way your chest floods with warmth, an undeniable happiness flooding your veins as your heart positively sings inside your chest.

“My Kings,” you melt into their embrace, a tender pull to your lips upwards as nothing but affection drips within your gaze. “I love you, too.”

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