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fairydustblossom · 7 months

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encroaching promises

azriel x reader

summary: based on this request "I would love if you wrote something where Azriel was a dick and he has to GROVEL. (Angst feeds my soul) please and thank you."

category: angst (i just rly love it)

word count: 4.8k

warnings: slightly nsfw in some parts, emotional (not physical) disloyalty ?? maybe ?? kinda ??

notes: umm this was so fun to write! it came to me so fast like I didn't even have to edit it?? hopefully it's good lmao anways i hope you enjoy this @liddyr03, thank you for sending in a request!!

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Something had shifted between you and Azriel. It had been a gradual shift, one you had felt coming on for some time- but you could have never expected the reason for the growing distance between you and your mate.

He had been working longer hours, waking up earlier, barely spending any free time with you and you knew the middle Archeron sister had a part in it. You had tried to ignore it, their growing closer. Azriel had taken a liking to her. At first, your heart had warmed at Azriel’s willingness to help. There had not been many opportunities in his life where he could help someone directly, not just in a battlefield or in an interrogation room. You witnessed the impact it had on him, you could feel his inner peace, the way he viewed himself, his self worth improving- and you were proud of him. You really were happy that Azriel was finally seeing himself in a way you had always seen him. You believed in kindness, in helping others, in going above and beyond for someone in need, you had always preached it to Azriel. It had been one of the things that had drawn him to you, seeing in you traits he wanted to possess. But now, it had gone too far.

You had noticed Elain and Azriel growing closer and closer. You had pushed your wariness aside, opting to be kind to her, hoping to help her in the way Azriel was doing so. Maybe she could be a good friend to you both, you thought. But Elain had not been as welcoming to your helping hand. Instead, she had treated you as she had treated all other fae, like you were a monster, personally responsible for her family's misfortune.

You tried time and time again to be graceful, to brush off her rudeness. You chose to be understanding, to put yourself in her shoes. But still, she treated you poorly. When you would join Azriel in visiting her, you noticed the difference in treatment. How she would look at him, and how she would look at you, like you had something she wanted.

Eventually, you stopped joining Azriel in his visits, finding it hard to control your feelings of jealousy and not wanting to come across as an irrational possessive mate. He was only helping her get better, you told yourself.

After you stopped going together, you noticed how his visits grew longer and longer. The longer he would be there, the more you would question it. What are they doing? Why is she keeping him there? Is it him that wants to stay longer?

The questions would run through your head until the moment he would walk into your shared chambers. You would lay your eyes upon your tired mate, but you would catch the gleam in his eyes, happy with himself for doing some good for once, and you would push aside all jealousy. How could you ever doubt your mate? The very same male that had worshiped you for years, that had vowed his undying love to you, who was bound to your soul. And so you would welcome him home with open arms, letting him fall to bed, little words spoken of his day.

It kept on like this, for months, till a whole year had passed and you no longer recognized your relationship with Azriel. You barely spoke anymore, going through your established routines around each other in silence. What had once brought you so much comfort, now left you fretting that something had irrevocably changed. You knew next to nothing about what Azriel was thinking, of where he spent his days, although you had a good idea of who he spent them with. You who had once been his closest confidant, wrapped in his arms till late hours of the night, whispering every thought that crossed through your minds to each other. You were barely having any sex. What used to be almost a daily activity, was now a hurried fuck in the dark, taking no time to explore one another's bodies, only looking for a quick release. You hadn’t actually seen your mate’s body in months. Had Azriel finally had enough of yours after all this time?

Elain’s smell had practically been imprinted on him. You never smelled any sex, no, and you thought, no you hoped, that Azriel would never do that. But it hurt all the same when you could smell her on his clothing, for that only happened when a fae was around all the time.

You had decided to take matters into your own hands. You were waiting for Azriel to come home, wearing his favorite silk slip that you had surprised him with on the night of your mating ceremony. Determination drove you- you would not let him go to bed without first feeling satiated.

And so you waited, your belly fluttering with parts equal nerves and excitement. You were excited because you knew your mate would melt at the sight of you, and love on you like you were accustomed to. You felt maybe all you and Azriel needed was one night to destress, to reconnect and everything would be back to normal.

When Azrile came home, his eyes immediately darkened at the sight of you, he recognized the slip you were wearing, images of your mating ceremony flashing through his mind. He was overcome with need for you and it only took a matter of minutes before you were pressed up against the wall, lost in a hungry kiss. You sent all your excitement down the bond and he groaned into the kiss, sending his desire right back. You were elated, nothing pleased you more than the feeling of Azriel against you and feeling the bond thrumming with need.

Azriel was quick to pick you up and carry you to your shared bedroom, tossing you on the bed. You sat up on your knees, wrapping your arms around his neck, wanting to slow this down a bit. You could feel how badly he wanted you, not only through the bond but by the bulge pressing into your flushed bodies. The mother knew you wanted him just as badly, and any other time you would have given into your needs in a desperate attempt to chase the release you were craving. But you wanted to take him in, wanting to drag this out as long as possible, to drink in the sight of his glorious body that your eyes had been deprived of.

You pressed your forehead against his, willing your breath to calm down. Azriel pulled his head back a bit, brows furrowing slightly and a look of confusion overtaking his eyes, “You alright, love?” a wave of worry flowed down the bond, his hands roamed your body, bringing you comfort and spreading warmth all over.

You flushed slightly, butterflies erupting in your belly at hearing the pet name. Your ears perked, not having heard the endearment in so many months. Gods, you had missed him. You smiled shyly at him, and gave him a slight nod. Azriel felt his knees buck, so many years later and a single look from you could make him feel like the inexperienced younglin he used to be back at the camps. You looked so so lovely in that slip, the shy look you gave him, eyes shining with love, and the pink tint on your cheeks he had elicited all warmed his heart. He brought a hand up to your face, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear, resting his hand at the base of your jaw all while staring intently into your eyes. When he saw your cheeks flush a darker red, he gave you a charming grin, amused and delighted by the sudden shyness in you. He loved that he still had that effect on you, as if you were meeting for the first time.

“I’m alright Az, just taking you in” you murmured, your voice sounding like honey to his ears.

“You can take me in all you want Y/N, I’m all yours to look at” he murmured back, dipping down to place warm loving kisses on your neck. You were delighted by his words, breathing him in deeply, relishing in the smell of his arousal. You felt delirious and giddy all at once, yes, you thought, all mine. Wishing to remind him, you sent the possessiveness you were feeling down the bond, making Azriel growl and nip at your neck more feverishly, marking you as his. He loved when you claimed him just as much as claiming you, feeling lucky to have someone in his life that wanted him as badly as he had always wanted.

The feeling of Azriel’s nipping and sucking your neck urged you on to keep undressing him. Undoing all the clasps you had started unfurling downstairs, you removed the tight fitting top of his leathers. You ran your hands along his arms, taking pleasure in the warmth of his bare skin against your fingertips. Your mouth watered at the sight of him, trailing your gaze up his tattooed arms, to his chest, hands sliding along- when your eyes snagged on something just below his pec and you halted all your movements. Azriel buried in your neck still, stopped as well, feeling you tense up. You pulled back, taking a good look at what your eyes had seen. It was a tattoo. One you hadn’t seen before.

Your heart sank, hurt overpowering any feeling of desire you had been feeling. The unexpectedness of the moment had left you vulnerable, leaving your side of the bond wide open for Azriel to feel the sudden shift in your emotions. He froze, suddenly panicked at why you were hurting and he pulled back, grasping your arms and holding you at arms length. He tried meeting your eyes, noticing they were locked in on his torso. When he looked down he saw what you were staring at.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the rose shaped tattoo resting on his right rib. You didn't know what it meant, but you had a feeling you knew what, or rather who, had been the cause of it. You thought of Elain and her precious garden. You thought of Elain and her treasured white roses. You couldn’t fight the tears that lined your eyes and you moved out of Azriel’s grasp to the other side of the room, wanting to be as far away from him as possible.

Azriel felt his heart sink at the way you fled his touch, as if he had burned you. He saw the look in your eyes and felt his that his world was crashing down.

“What is that Azriel?” you asked, struggling to conceal the wobble in your voice, not actually wanting to hear the truth you already knew.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, looking down at the tattoo your gaze hadn’t drifted from and then looked back up at you. Forcing himself to look at you, even if it made him feel like the biggest dickhead.

“It’s… It’s a promise” he said, wishing he didn’t have to tell you and see the betrayal in your eyes. He had been avoiding this conversation, feeling disgusted at himself for having made the promise in a lapse of judgment.

He saw the fire ignite in your eyes, anger rising at his answer. You already knew it was a promise, and he was aware you wanted more of an explanation. He only hoped you could forgive him, for he did not know if he could forgive you if it were the other way around. Shame creeped up his spine and he mustered up the courage to confess his mistake. He had barely been able to look at himself since the tattoo had seared itself onto his skin and he had opted to ignore it all together- to pretend it wasn’t there. Azriel had done so much pretending, that the tattoo had been fully forgotten moments earlier when he had welcomed and encouraged you to look upon him.

At your lack of response, he cleared his throat and carried on, praying to the mother in his head, for he knew he was about to hurt you and he would hate himself for having caused you pain, “I made a promise. I-I made a promise to Elain.”

You looked up at him then, and the pain he saw in your eyes made him feel sick to his stomach, knowing he has caused it. “Y/N, I swear I didn’t mean to-”

You cut him off, your voice terrifyingly low “What did you promise her Azriel?”

His cheeks were red and his body felt hot with shame as he replied, “I promised I would always be there to protect her.”

His words, uttered barely above a whisper, felt like daggers to your heart. You flinched, unable to conceal the effect they had on you. The tears broke free, you managed to hold in your sobs by biting the inside of your cheeks, but you couldn’t hold back the tears. You were biting so hard you tasted blood, and the world felt like it was spinning. You couldn’t find any words, there was nothing to say. He had promised her something he was supposed to only ever promise you.

“I fucked up. I know I did, I’ve been working out a way to undo it.” He started to plead, taking a few steps to close the distance between you. You stepped away, not letting him get near, barely hearing his words over the rushing sound in your ears. “Rhys and Feyre have been helping me find a way to break it. We actually know how, the same way they broke their deal from under the mountain, we just need Elain to-”

You were done listening to him, his words only adding to the hurt you were feeling. Rhys and Feyre knew your mate had promised his protection to another? Did everyone know? Why hadn’t he told you?

“Leave” you hissed at him. You didn’t care to hear his excuses, you were done. Never would you have ever spent so much time with another male, never would you have ever made such an intimate promise.

“What?” he asked. He had been expecting you to react this way, for months he had been mentally preparing himself. But to hear you actually say it still caught him off guard. “Y/N, please, I can expl-”

“Leave” you said again, your voice strengthening with conviction. “Get out of my home, Azriel.” You felt if Azriel stayed any longer you would go mad, and you meant your words. This was not a home anymore, not with him in it. He had bound his soul to another, and kept it from you. If he remained here any longer, you don’t know what you would do. You could feel your power thrumming in your veins, begging for release.

Azrile looked heartbroken, like a man that had lost everything he cared about in this world. He pleaded with his eyes, pushing everything he was feeling down the bond, hoping you would take back his words. When you only looked away as a response, he knew he had to respect your wishes. It pained him unlike anything else to leave you alone after the damage he had caused but he understood there was nothing he could do at that moment to make it better. He steeled himself, calling all his shadows to him, fighting with the ones that were wrapped around you trying to comfort you, and then he vanished.

You broke down when Azriel left, letting the pain of your failed relationship consume you. The image of the rose tattoo was all you could see behind your eyes and you ran to the bathroom to release the bile that had risen up your throat. You sat there on the floor, picturing all the interactions you had witnessed between Azriel and Elain. You could have prevented this, you couldn’t help but think, if you had only stepped in sooner. If you had only kept that girl away from your mate. If you had only shown her anything other than kindness. You had in a sense, lost your mate to another woman. For how could he spend his days with you when he promised to protect another for the rest of her days?

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Azriel knew he had to fix this. He honestly had already been trying to, he wanted nothing more than to be rid of the promise he had made Elain. A promise that she had coerced him into. But to be rid of it, she had to be in agreement. Rhys and Feyre had helped him contact Helion and that is what he had told them. The High Lord of day had also told them it would cause great pain, which Elain had grasped onto in her refusal to break the promise. She argued she had been through enough in the past years to willingly put herself through more pain.

Azriel blamed himself, really. For letting Elain get so close to him, for having been there at her beck and call to the point she expected, no demanded, that treatment from him all the time. He had spent the last few months attempting to convince Elain to go through with breaking the promise. He was doing everything he could for her, hoping if he did enough she would come to her senses and consent to Helion’s spell.

He kept telling himself she was only holding on to this because she had lost everything else in her life, it made her feel that she was finally in control of something- that she didn’t mean his beloved any harm. But Azriel had come to the realization that whether Elain meant to hurt others or not with her actions- she was being selfish with them. He was devoted to you and he would not let Elain cost him what he prized so dearly in his life. His mate, he kept thinking, he would not lose his mate.

Rhys and Feyre were curled against one another in the living room when Azriel winnowed in, looking distraught, wings drooped, and frantic shadows dispersing around the room- swallowing all light. He dropped down to his knees, tears lining his eyes as he looked up at his High Lord and High Lady. They were instantly alarmed, Rhys dropping to the floor to join his brother while Feyra went to Azriel’s side. Rhys grabbed Azriel’s face in his hands, quickly assessing him for any injuries, he tried peeking into Azriel’s mind and only saw your pained expression. Azriel dropped his head on his brother's shoulder, looking like a fallen angel, and he cried. “Please help me. Please, brother”.

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For the next few weeks, you had isolated yourself- putting wards around the house to prevent any of your family from winnowing in. You had felt each of them attempt to come in, to console you, but you refused to let them in.

You couldn’t forgive them, at least not anytime soon, for having kept this from you. You felt embarrassed. You didn’t know how long ago the promise had been made, you didn’t know how long they had known- all the interactions you had with your family since the time Elain came were now painted in a different light in your mind. Had they all thought you a fool? To let your mate get so close to another female, when Elains affections for Azriel had so clearly been written on her face? You couldn’t bear to face them, knowing they had kept this from you.

You had also distanced yourself because you weren’t sure of what you would do if you came across Elain. Your territorial feelings had only been enhanced and you were scared of what you would do to your High Lady’s older sister if you saw her.

Azriel had tried almost everyday to talk to you, but you remained firm in your decision, refusing to yield to his pleas. You had received countless notes from Rhys, the only one who could get past your wards, and had burned them all. Until the latest one. You had been reading when a note appeared on the page you were on. Unlike the other ones, this one did not come to you unfolded so you had no option but to read the words they said. “It is done. Azriel is recovering in the infirmary.” The note raised your heartbeat and caused dozens of questions to rise within you. Suddenly Azriel’s absence the past few days made sense. He had been resolute everyday since you had kicked him out in gaining your forgiveness, staying outside the door to your home waiting for the day you would let him back in. He hadn’t pushed or attempted to break through your wards, and you knew he could, he was the spymaster after all; instead, he had patiently waited, accepting his punishment. Every night, for weeks he had waited, until a few days ago, when he had disappeared and hadn’t come back. You figured he had gotten tired, or given up- you were still too hurt to find out why he had left.

Now, worry filled you. Was he okay? What did Rhys mean by “recovering”? You recalled the time Rhys and Feyre had faked breaking their bond, fooling everyone by breaking the promise they had made instead- you remembered their shouts of pain, and that was the High Lord and the High Lady, the two most powerful fae in all of Prythian.

You quickly stood up, pacing around the room, trying to decide what to do. Deep down you knew even if you didn’t go right now, adamant in your stubbornness, worry would eat you and thoughts of Azriel would consume you. Acknowledging you wouldn’t be able to go an hour without knowing, you made your decision and winnowed to the infirmary.

When you arrived, the sight of Azriel made you gasp. He looked awful. You could see the stark dark circles under his eyes, his ruffled hair, the pain expression etched on his face even as he slept. He looked thinner too, as if he hadn’t been eating well- he hadn’t, you learned later on, too sick at his own actions to feel any appetite at all.

You rushed to his side, grasping one of his hands, they felt cold, almost lifeless, and you reached deep within to the bond that tethered your soul to his, the bond you had buried deep down within you and ignored for weeks. You sighed with relief when you found it and tugged on it. He was still there you could feel, but the bond was dulled, as if life had been sucked out of it.

You burst into tears, never having imagined that the beautiful bond you cherished would ever be in such a weak state. This feeling you had feared, the feeling of Azriel fighting for his life, of barely being there overwhelmed you.

You cried for him, for your love, for everything that had happened until your throat felt hoarse and the tears wouldn’t come anymore. You had sat there by his side for hours, squeezing his hand and murmuring his name over and over, tugging at the bleak bond, willing it to go back to normal.

All night you spent by his side, the sun was now rising over the mountains of Velaris when you felt a hand land on your shoulder. It was firm and gentle- Rhys. You didn’t look up at him, your head pressed against Azriel’s hand, cradled within your own. When your tears had dried you had resorted to praying to the mother, you were convinced if you prayed enough he would be okay and you wouldn’t let anything interrupt the prayers that tumbled out of you.

“Y/N” Rhys mumbled, sitting down next to you, arm now wrapped around you. “He’s going to be okay.”

When he realized you would not acknowledge him until you felt satisfied with your orison, Rhys pulled you into a hug, waiting for you to finish. He does not know how long he sat there next to you, only that the sun was now high up in the sky. You slumped against him, still not letting go of Azriel's hand and started crying again. “You knew” he heard you say, and he felt a pang in his chest. He realized now that not only had you been hurt by Azriel, but he had hurt you as well.

He nodded, “I’m sorry for keeping it from you.” He said “I was only doing what I thought best. I will let Azriel explain everything when he wakes up, I want you to hear it all from him. But just know I am sorry”

He felt your body shake more violently at the mention of Azriel. “What if he doesn’t wake up?” you asked, voice small and filled with agony.

“He will, Y/N. He will.” He pulled you away to look in your eyes, making sure you were taking in his words. “Madja and Helion have both guaranteed that he will wake up, his body just needs to heal.”

You nodded, calming down slightly at his words. “How long has he been here?”

At this, he looked down, embarrassed to tell you he had kept yet another thing from you in hopes that Azriel could go to you himself and tell you he had gotten rid of the promise. “He has been here a few days, I-I didn’t take it would take long for him to wake up. I wanted him to be able to tell you.”

You only nodded, having already guessed as much, piecing together Azriel’s absence outside your door with his unconscious body. Later, you would give Rhys hell for keeping it from you, but currently you had no energy to fight. You leaned into his hug further, needing the comfort he provided and resigned yourself to waiting.

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It took three more days for Azriel to wake up, Rhys had briefly explained that the impact had been greater than it should have been because they had manipulated Elain into consenting to break the promise instead of her going willingly into it. You could feel the anger Rhys felt towards his sister in law as he explained- making sure you understood they had coerced her in a way not too unlike how she had done to Azriel when he made the promise. Your anger towards Azriel had diminished, you still wanted to hear what he had to say, but you were ready to forgive him. All you wanted was for him to wake up.

You were sitting next to Azriel, head nodding off in sleep. After almost four days of little to no sleep, you were struggling to fight it off. Your eyes had fully shut and you could feel yourself drifting when you felt the hand you were holding twitch.

Immediately you gasped and sat up, watching with wide eyes as Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed. He seemed to battle with himself to wake up and once he finally did you stood up grabbing a cup of water for him. He looked at you with daze eyes and croaked out, “I’m sorry”

Your heart melted, his voice was barely there and you shushed him, raising the cup to his lips, urging him to drink some water. He gulped down the water you offered, pulling back to catch his breath, then he looked at you again, eyes filled with sorrow before he whispered again “I’m so sorry, my love”

You only nodded, too overwhelmed with emotion to form any words. Instead, you pushed everything you were feeling down the bond and in return Azriel poured all of his love. You could feel how sorry he was, his love for you, his sadness. His eyes watered at feeling the bond thrumming again, he had been convinced he would never feel it again and he thanked the mother for blessing him with such an amazing mate.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he kept mumbling, groggy from his week-long slumber and unable to form any other coherent sentences.

You shushed him and cradled his face to your body, peppering his face with kisses wanting to convey how grateful you were for your mate. You stayed there, curled up against him the rest of the night, letting him know how much you loved him, your mate, who had risked his life to make things right.

“I would do it again, for you, I would do anything” he murmured, head tucked in the crook of your neck, before drifting off into sleep again.

#azriel #fairydustblossom #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acotar fanfiction #azriel acotar #azriel fic #azriel fluff #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel angst

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forever--darling · 1 year

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snga’itseng — just the beginning | neteyam x avatar!reader

summary: you are given an avatar for your birthday and end up lost and alone in the woods. the sully children bring you to the village where neytiri agrees to let you stay under one condition, you learn the omatikaya ways from her oldest son.

pairings: neteyam x avatar!reader

word count: 15.0k

warnings/notes: cursing, enemies to lovers, lo'ak x avatar!reader (slightly), mention of sky people, mention of death, perfect soldier!neteyam, protective mother neytiri

series masterlist | one of us: part one |requests are currently open for now

“When we sent the sky people back to Earth, a few of them stayed. Science guys loyal to the Na’vi. They kept to themselves away from the village to keep from causing panic to those that were left by the destruction the sky people left behind. Somehow though they reproduced any way and then there was Y/N, only a few months younger than our own son, Neteyam. From day one there was something about her, a connection to Pandora, unlike anyone I had ever seen. She studied what Grace had left behind and grew up asking any question she could about our world and the Omatikaya people. But she refrained from ever having direct contact with them, as she was and always would be one of the sky people. Isolated from the only world she ever knew, she stayed away to keep the rest of the Omatikaya clan at peace.

Then there was Spider. He was just as stuck here as Y/N was. Both were too young to be born in a place this dangerous and completely ethereal. He, unlike the slightly older girl, took to the forest, to the Omatikaya village, experiencing anything and everything he could. No one liked having him around at first, but as years passed, people became understanding and let him come and go freely. His presence, however, near what was once Home Tree and the village, didn’t stop the Omatikaya children from running off towards the old link base to find the human girl who had fallen irrevocably in love with the world she was born into. And when I mean the Omatikaya children I mean my own.”

The Na’vi say that every person is born twice. The second time is when they earn their place among the people. That was something you had learned based on the data Dr. Grace Augustine had left behind. Through the numerous journals and video logs, she kept, as well as the raw footage taken from the school that once was open to the Na’vi children for learning English. One attempt at bridging a communication divide. The scientist was completely wonderful that way, in love with the Omatikaya people and the planet of Pandora. It was more of her home than her birth planet ever had been. You never got to meet her of course. A casualty in the war against the sky people eighteen years ago. A war you never witnessed but were born into. A part of a species that was concerned with mining for Unobtainium, the answer to the economic struggles of its homeland, and destroying the village’s home to do that.

Omatikaya are pure at heart, you’re convinced, pure spirits looking to feel and have a complete connection with their world. It’s something you wished for more than anything you could feel. Something as simple as the ability to smell the fresh air or feel it on your face without an oxygen mask keeping you alive. The avatar was no longer alive and not even Ubobtainum could get that up and running again. Grace Augustine was the primary scientist behind the program that made the impossible possible — for humans to be able to walk around freely without the possibility of suffocation from the particles in the air. How?

Well, large blue bodies resembling those of the Na’vi that ultimately served as vessels. Vessels to experience life somewhat like one of the Omatikaya did. Without the money, there aren’t enough resources or scientists to keep the program running let alone create any more avatars or dream walkers, as the Omatikaya call them. The last became the great Toruk Makto and the Olo’eyktan or chief of the Omatikaya. The story is almost a legend. A legend you knew would never repeat itself. So, thus oxygen masks were the only way of survival outside of the compaction-sealed rooms left behind after the war. Living a normal life was not an option at least not for mouth breathers from a dying planet.

Except you never felt like you could be considered one of those, a human of Earth as you weren’t from there, not really. Sure by association but you didn’t have any connection to that world and you never would. You were born on Pandora almost eighteen years ago and somehow after the abandonment of your parents, you’re paying the price. A beautiful death trap is what you called the planet as it was the most breathtaking place you had ever been in. Something you had been studying and realizing for years as that was all you were allowed to do. Take samples and study the planet and the species that occupied it.

In addition to learning from the scientists of the past that had the ability to speak to the natives and learn their ways of life. So, you studied the language, the culture, the ways of life of the land. Not fully understanding the people, you were enchanted with the Na’vi, specifically the Omatikaya clan that only sat miles away hidden within the forest. Sometimes you closed your eyes and almost just almost could picture what it would be like to be one of them. The purest of souls. That's how you remained sane all those years; your childhood was spent within a lab, with scientists as your proxy parents. Scientists who didn’t have any initial history with raising a child, let alone two.

Miles Socorro, your adoptive brother if you could even call him that was only about a year younger than you, born on this forsaken island with parents who didn’t quite understand their role in the destruction your species caused. Unlike your parents, they were more focused on destroying the clan of the forest as well as its resources rather than preserving it, and eventually, it caught up to both of them. You didn’t claim him as your brother, though many of the scientists considered him to be, but rather a problematic monkey boy who wished to disregard the feelings of the Omatikaya people in favor of his own wants or needs.

Spider became what you knew him as, as you got older and suddenly his presence around the lab faltered, barely lingering. He ran off when he was young and somehow his charming wit and quick reflexes were enough to earn a spot within the clan. Metaphorically though because as long as he was human he would never be one of them. None of you would be. As the Na’vi has said, “Every person is born twice…” but when you are one of the sky people you will never earn a place among the people.

“Y/N?”

The voice of Norm Spellman, one of the two scientists you considered yourself to have worked under for most of your life appeared in the doorway of the lab, a small smile adorned on his face. It widened at the sight of you once again sitting at Dr. Augustine’s old desk, reviewing the same psionic link logs you had watched at least a dozen times.

Pausing it with ease, you stared at the woman’s face for a moment before meeting his gaze again, “Sorry, yes?”

“Do you think you could go grab the container for the Dandetiger plant downstairs? I would like to take a couple of slides of it.”

You nodded and watched as he disappeared out of the room again. Sighing, you gazed down at the computer screen, meeting the smile of Dr. Augustine as she recapped her day spent at the school with the Na’vi children. Shaking your head sadly, you glanced up past the screen across the lab into the open doorway of the incubator room. There she sat, still surrounded in that blue illuminant liquid kept away from the rest of the world. Her avatar looked so much like her, even now. Even after all these years. With Grace gone there was no one else that shared the DNA to use her avatar, so day after day that’s where it sat; in clear view of your desk, motionless. It was such a waste. You shook your head and logged off the computer.

As you came back up from the storage room, you held one sample of the Dandetiger and one from the Tree of Voices or what was left of it after it was bulldozed down by the sky people. It didn’t glow as it once did but somehow as you stared down at it through the microscope, you could almost picture it in all of its beauty. You handed off the specimen to Norm and crossed the room peering in towards Max, who sat at his desk looking over an image of a brain. Max was the other scientist you primarily worked under and the one who had raised you all these years. He was older now, gray littered in his beard and hair peppered slightly, but somehow as people have told you he remained ever the same. Kind, slightly bossy, and completely enamored by this place he called home.

Leaning into the doorway, you cleared your throat, and instantly upon your presence, he closed the tab out from his computer, the hologram disappearing into thin air. Your brows furrowed for a mere second but thought to ignore it. “Hi, Max. Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing,” he brushed off, examining you as well as the specimen in your hands, “What are you doing?”

You shrugged, smiling, “Nothing.”

He chuckled under his breath knowing that this was something you often did, took samples from the Tree of Voices or Home Tree just trying to piece together the past and way of life of the Omatikaya before the sky people invaded. He liked to think it was the scientist in you, but really your heart and soul for the world around you. You sent him a wink just as you planned to slip away when he called out to you again.

The next time you looked over at him, there was something in his hand, a pastry decorated with frosting and sprinkles, and a single candle stuck out of the top of it. A cupcake. He lit the candle and handed it over to you. Your heart felt heavy at that moment as you glanced back and forth from it in your hands to the older man before you, a warm expression across his face. “What is this?”

“Happy birthday.”

Your eyes widened, almost having entirely forgotten as a soft smile suddenly appeared. Eighteen, that was right. You were turning eighteen and somehow you had let it almost slip by with how the days had once again begun to blur together. Boredom had set in and somehow you blinked and it was your birthday. Nodding, you blew out the candle and thanked him.

You turned away and took one step back in the direction of the lab when something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye. Outside of the window, where the green grass was bright under the sunlight, you watched as three Na’vis approached the camp accompanied by none other than Spider leading the frontier. Just when you thought you could have a peaceful birthday, his smug face would have to appear and ruin it.

You rolled your eyes and called out back towards Max, “We got company.”

“No, you mean you have company,” he called back, correcting you.

Sighing, you hurried away from the door back towards the lab, where you quickly set up your microscope to pretend you were busy working. Just as you took a seat, you swiped your finger across the top of the cupcake and stuck it into your mouth. You hummed in satisfaction just as the compact sealed door opened and closed near the entryway, then in a matter of seconds, all you could hear was the patter of a pair of feet.

Even if you never would be accepted by the people, that somehow didn’t stop you from ever interacting with members of the Omatikaya clan. Jake Sully the last dream walker happened to have children, four in fact. One was a direct spawn from Grace’s avatar, something that still remained a mystery. Consequently, his three youngest became quite close with Spider, and with that friendship came a complete entrancement with the lab and the sky people that inhabited it. Somehow the Sully children seemed the most fascinated with you, the only human girl they ever came face to face with, especially one that was close to their age. Kiri, the daughter of Grace, supposedly from Eywa was the same age as Lo’ak, Toruk Makto’s second oldest child. They were seventeen now, and even to this day still argued like those young kids when you had first met them. Then there was Tuk, the youngest of the family that always blackmailed her older siblings into letting her tag along on everything she could. The threat always consisted of tattling on them to their mother and that always proved to be enough for Lo’ak to let her tag along.

The eldest Sully child, a son around your age, had been mentioned quite often and not always kindly by his siblings, mostly Lo’ak but after all these years, he still had never shown his face here. Never among the sky people. You never asked why, but you didn’t have to as the younger brother always spoke about how the golden child was off training to one day become the Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya people. Somehow he had managed to stay out of his younger siblings' bullshit but you heard about him quite often, more often than you needed to.

Even after all these years, the sound of their voices and the hurried steps across the cement floor never ceased to surprise you. The only contact you had with the Na’vi people in your lab was constantly in your face. At first, they didn’t pay you much mind other than Lo’ak who somehow even at the age of ten was the smuggest bastard you had ever met. He found it quite easy to flirt with you, enjoying the way you glared over in his direction and threatened to hit him upside the head. Kiri was the first one you had initially talked to, often about her mother, offering to share whatever you could with her, including the video logs. No one could quite explain how she ended up here but you were more than willing to help try and piece it together. In exchange she talked about her village, the Omatikaya people, and often would bring you gifts, things that they valued within their lives. You kept them over the years. They all resided safely away in your room upon your desk overlooking a window that peered out to the forest.

“Y/N!”

The eight-year-old’s steps slapped across the floor as she appeared from the hallway practically sprinting. As you glanced over your shoulder, you were met with a blue figure colliding with you and your chair. You stumbled slightly backward as the arms wrapped around your waist, face leaned against your torso. Tuk hugged you tightly and you couldn’t help the smile that appeared at the affection.

“Well, hello.”

A few seconds later the rest of them emerged into the lab, Kiri grinning and Lo’ak and Spider messing around, barely even looking your way. Finally, their bickering ceased, and found you staring over at them. Spider rolled his eyes and Lo’ak could only send you a small salute with the widest grin on his face. You rolled your eyes before meeting those of your closest friend. Kiri’s arms were hidden behind her back and she swayed back and forth on her tiptoes.

Your eyes narrowed for a second as Tuk finally pulled back from your embrace, returning to practically bouncing off the walls. She grinned as she stared at her older sister. You tilted your head to the side, “Well you all appear to be in a good mood today.”

“I guess you could say that,” Kiri replied.

“Why? What’s going on?”

She finally caved and laughed, “We have something for you actually.”

“You’re going to love it,” Tuk reassured, her hand finding yours.

Kiri nodded and following her movements, she extended her hand out to you, clasped shut over something. Ever so slowly she turned her hands and opened them and for a mere second, you felt your breath get caught in your throat. It was a necklace but not just any necklace. One adorned in beads and strings resembling most jewelry that was made and worn by the Omatikaya. This one particularly was made with beads of blue and green, crafted into the most beautiful shapes and patterns.

“We made it for you!” Tuk announced.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Kiri said.

Your mouth dropped open for a mere second, heart swelling at the gesture and the excitement that covered both Na’vis’ faces. It took you a few moments to regain yourself but when you did, a large smile formed across your face. “Thank you. You guys are too sweet, but how did you—”

“We asked Norm about it the last time we were here. He gave us a countdown of how many days it was and from there we just kept track,” the older Sully girl explained, gesturing to put the necklace on you.

You nodded, still slightly at a loss for words, “I really appreciate this. You are too kind to me truly.”

“Shush,” she mumbled, walking behind you to place the necklace on. As she wrapped it around your neck with ease, it was then you peered over at the two boys in the room who had remained quiet. Kiri and Tuk looked at them expectantly and Spider huffed in annoyance.

“Happy birthday,” he mumbled, barely able to get it out.

As you met Lo’ak’s gaze, his smile widened. Tuk gestured to you and he shrugged as if remembering that he should probably say something. Reaching forward, he took the cupcake from your desk and examined it for a moment before taking a large bite out of the side of it. “Happy birthday, Y/N/N. Another year more beautiful than the last.”

You rolled your eyes, concealing the need to gag as his large golden eyes stared down at you, “Which reminds me, is this finally the year you’re going to ditch this place and come with us?”

“Lo’ak!” His sister scolded, finally letting the necklace fall loosely against your neck

“What?” He held his hands up, glaring in her direction, “This place is like a cage. And I think a day out with us wouldn’t kill her. She could afford to live a little.”

Kiri huffed and stepped towards him shoving him slightly, a look that could kill sent his way. “Do you ever shut up? You do realize that you sound like a complete idiot!”

“Yeah whatever, you know it’s worth a shot at least,” he reasoned, looking past her towards you, laying on the extra charm with his next sentence, “I know you want to Y/N. We all do. You always have. I mean look at you. You have that damn piece of the Tree of Voices again. Aren’t you a little bit curious what it actually looks like out there?”

You sighed as Tuk’s hand remained wrapped around your arm hanging onto every word her older brother said, just hoping deep down that you would say yes. It crossed your mind, and for a moment you considered it but then the face of their mother appeared and the rest of the Omatikaya people. Their reactions to a sky person trespassing against their land. It didn’t matter how much you wanted to or that you always had. What mattered was how those people would feel.

“I think I’ll pass.”

He groaned, shoulders dropping in disappointment and you couldn’t bare to face Tuk knowing that her expression probably looked the exact same. Shaking his head, he stepped towards you and placed the cupcake down on your desk. A smile appeared again as he reached up and flicked your ear playfully. “You’re insufferable.”

You matched his expression with ease, the only way you were able to handle him. “Wow, that might be the biggest word you have ever used. I guess I was wrong about the size of that brain of yours. It’s larger than I thought.”

“One of these days I am going to get you to step out of this fucking lab and that’s a promise.”

They stayed for a while after that, the normalcy of Lo’ak and Spider teaming up against everyone else ringing in your ears. Tuk was glued to your side for most of that time, touching your arm or flicking a piece of hair out of your face. The two older siblings could only make note of it as you sat switching from joining the conversation and looking through the microscope at the slides of the Tree of Voices. It was luminescent under the microscope and it was hard to look away, even though you had seen it multiple times. They left reluctantly because it was getting dark and if they could’ve stayed longer they would.

Later that evening, you sat outside of the lab staring out the large glass window fiddling with the necklace around your neck. It was dark and you couldn’t help yourself but stare forward at the forest on the other side of that wall. You knew almost everything that was out there, had studied every part of it but you still felt so disconnected from it all. Lo’ak was right, he would always be right when it came to you and what you wanted. This was no life for a person, locked away within a lab, no potential to ever leave. For the other scientists that stayed they chose this, they wanted this life rather than to return to their dying planet but you, you never chose this.

“Y/N.”

You blinked, wiping the tears that threatened to form in your eyes as your other hand gripped tightly to the beads of the necklace. Norm stood in front of you, his hands in his pockets, looking from you to the window. A small frown was etched across his face, knowing that expression on your face far too well as it only had become more persistent the older you got. “Did you need something else?”

He shook his head and approached you, patting your shoulder with comfort. That alone almost made you want to burst out into tears but you held it together. Silence lingered for a moment, a moment where you could feel the pain that was buried so deep within your chest. His touch fell away and he nodded in the direction of the lab. “We have something we need to show you?”

You lifted a brow over in his direction in curiosity, “We?”

A satisfied look appeared on his face and he nodded. “Yes.”

“So you and Max?” you asked in which he merely shrugged. Your expression hardened for a moment because though those two had been around you your whole life, sometimes their ideas weren’t always the best. You frowned, “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Your stare hardened and you sighed, “I hate surprises.”

“I have a feeling you’ll like this one, come on,” Norm chuckled, that smile of his widening.

With hesitance, you let your hand fall away from the necklace and you stood, almost reluctant. Dragging your steps, you moved towards the doorway of the lab to follow Norm but a hand held up in your face stopped you. You sighed for a moment when you realized what he was going to make you do. He chuckled and gestured again. “Close your eyes.”

“I swear to god,” you cursed underneath your breath and he stopped you before you could say anything else.

“Just do it,” he demanded, a fatherly tone in someway occupying his usual soft kind voice. His frustration was there, which didn’t happen often, but something as small as that made the corners of your mouth quirk up in a small smile. It was no way to live but somehow even with that there were people here that cared about you, that wanted to see you happy. Somehow even in all of it, the loss of your parents, the dealing with Spider’s bullshit, you gained a family. A family of a few scientists that were just in love with this deadly planet as you were.

Shrugging as a way of acceptance, you obliged, your eyes fluttering to a close. His hand took your arm gently and began to guide you into the lab out of the hallway and you felt inclined to peek which he stopped you from doing multiple times. The nerves were alive in your stomach almost threatening to make you puke. You had hated surprises ever since you were a kid. Many times Spider had tricked you by either throwing hands full of mud in your face or getting you lost at the edge of the forest. After that, you didn’t dare step a foot outside of the lab unless it was to collect samples or admire the forest from afar. Those anxieties somehow remained even when the bully that was the younger boy wasn’t around and you knew you were completely safe.

You felt your feet stumble slightly on the shift of the room’s floor, revealing that you no longer were in the lab. You groaned, still able to feel his hand wrapped around you securely to prevent you from falling, “This is torture.”

“You’re being dramatic,” you heard Max’s voice from somewhere behind you, amusement laced within it. Oh god, this wasn’t promising.

“Well, I should be,” your shoulders dropped as the nerves didn’t cease, “Sometimes when the two of you are together your ideas are not so great.”

“Hey!” Norm exasperated, feeling offended by your comment.

You felt him stop though and so did you. You felt your heart jump into your throat as if you were going to be sick. You exhaled deeply as the room fell silent for a mere moment, your anticipation practically killing you though it felt more like dread. He tapped your head lovingly as he glanced around to Max then back towards the “surprise.”

“Okay,” he took a deep breath and Max nodded in response. They both gazed down at you and then at the thing they had been keeping from you for years, concealing, and working with every piece of information they could. It all led to this moment. “You can open them now.”

Even as he said that you were skeptical and only clenched your eyelids tighter as the anxiety seemed to fully wrap around your throat at this point. Norm chuckled, “Y/N, you can open your eyes now.”

“I am scared,” you replied, arms wrapping around yourself as a way of comfort, nails practically digging into your forearms. The two scientists laughed and looked at one another knowingly.

Max rolled his eyes, “Y/N, open your eyes.”

You exhaled deeply but listened anyway despite your gut telling you otherwise. Your eyes fluttered open, the shining light above your head making you squint for a mere moment to adjust to the brightness. You were in the incubator room, the cold temperature of it creating goosebumps across your arms. You stared forward at the avatar’s tank, Grace’s features the only thing you could focus on. She was still just as she had been since Dr. Augustine had died and the image of a few hours ago passed behind your eyes of Kiri sitting near the incubator memorizing every single line of her mother’s face. She talked to her often, trying to find some conclusion as to how she came to be and the reason she was even here. It brought a whole new meaning to the avatar program when Grace passed away and Kiri was born. More so when Jake Sully became Toruk Makto and fell in love with the Olo’eyktan’s daughter.

Blinking slightly, you stared forward at the body, confusion forming across your expression. You felt your body relax as Max appeared behind you. His hands found your shoulders and squeezed them lightly. “Happy birthday, kid.”

As you were about to turn to him, something caught the corner of your eye and suddenly you found a gasp ripping from the base of your throat. The amnio tank that sat just behind Grace’s that had sat empty for all these years were filled with the same blue amniotic fluid that filled hers. Eyes wide, your head whipped towards both Norm and then Max, heart beating a hundred miles a minute. You looked over searching for any slight hint of assurance that Max gives you with a nod. Slowly, you stepped away from him towards the amnio tank with wide eyes and shaky palms. They met the cold glass as an unsteady breath fell from your parted lips.

An avatar. That was what was floating around within that amnio tank. A large blue frame slightly smaller than Grace’s floating — its own arms wrapped around itself, body twitching every so often as if it was merely sleeping. A form of life, that’s what it was, and it was the most amazing thing you had ever witnessed before. You traced it with your eyes from its slender waist, strong legs, and a long tail with a queue, up to its face. A face that almost brought tears to your eyes as it was entirely familiar; sharp cheekbones, flat nose, arched eyebrows, white spots speckled across its smooth skin. She looked so much like you, you could barely believe it.

“What the fuck?” you cursed, voice breaking as you peered back at the two men who had always been in your life. “Really? You guys did this for me?”

“Best birthday gift, huh?” Norm smiled.

You couldn’t help but sniffle and nod, “But how? These take years to…”

Max nodded along with you and you grinned as your voice trailed off in complete disbelief that they had taken the time to do this, approximately three to five years to do this. But it could have taken much longer with the lack of resources left for them since the war. And somehow they did it all while keeping it a secret. “But how did you know?”

“We just kind of figured ever since you were six,” Norm answered. “But it become more evident as years went on with the Sully kids always around.”

“Six?”

Max laughed, “You don’t remember do you?”

Your brows furrowed and you shook your head, unable to pull any memories from that far back that would make them think that you needed your own avatar. Crossing his arms over his chest, Max shared a look with Norm before peering over at you in amusement.

“When you were six years old, Miles did something at the time to really piss you off. I don’t quite remember what it was but you grabbed one of the oxygen masks and ran out of here. You said you were leaving and that you were going to move over into the village to live with the Na’vi.”

“It took us two hours to find you,” Norm added in, “You hadn’t made it far so it wasn’t a big deal, but we found you about a mile into the forest, hidden within a bush of Panopyra staring at the way it glowed. You had no fear back then and ever since then, this has been your life. Studying anything and everything about Pandora and we appreciate all your help all these years.”

You laughed and smiled but it lessened slightly as you were unable to hold any meaning to the memory they so vividly can recall. It was so long ago and somehow it didn’t exist to you. Max peered over your shoulder at the avatar and cleared his throat suddenly, “We know that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life locked away and staring at a microscope. This might not be able to give you much but it at least gives you a little wiggle room. It’ll get you out of this building.”

Glancing from the two of them back to the avatar, you found your fingers tracing the glass with ease as for the first time in years, you remembered what it was like to be excited about something. To look forward to something. Wiping at your eyes, you felt your throat closing up trying to keep the sudden emotion at bay. You sent a smile to both of them, unable to express everything you felt at that moment.

“Thank you. Both of you. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“So,” Norm clapped his hands trying to ignite a little more excitement back into the room, “You want to test this thing out tomorrow. Do a little test drive.”

“Yes,” you grinned, hurriedly, “I would really like that, actually.”

That night you were unable to sleep, your mind buzzing full of all the possibilities. From touching all of the plants to experiencing the way the forest glowed at night, creating a path of bioluminescence, or being able to interact with some of the animals after years of staring at pictures or video logs left by Dr. Augustine. Even the possibility of interacting with the Omatikaya passed through your mind but instantly you tried to let go of that one. If there was one thing they hated it was sky people, an avatar was just one step up. An alien in a false Na’vi body was not welcome and was far too dangerous to them. You would maybe be able to play with the Sully children in the forest, close by to the camp, but actually go to the village, and see the sites where Home Tree and the Tree of Voices once were would never happen. To ever actually interact with the Omatikaya people, meet the remaining Sully eldest son, or learn about the Na’vi ways directly would never be allowed, so you tried your hardest to forget about it. It wasn’t easy though as that was all you wanted, the ability to interact.

The next morning, you woke up early, fidgeting and bouncing on the heels of your feet. It was something Norm, Max, or the other scientists hadn’t seen in you in so long. You were usually quiet, kept to yourself, and barely talked to anyone unless asked to. That day you said good morning to everyone, a smile plastered across your face, asking hundreds of questions every moment you could. By breakfast, Norm and Max had already explained all of the protocols, the expectations, and how the link pods worked. Even with all that, it was going to be a long day of testing motor skills, brain function, and everything else with the avatar if the linking process was even successful. It had been years since they powered up the link pods and they only hoped one would at least run without a large amount of money getting put into their building and equipment.

It was midday by the time you finally laid eyes on the open link pod and climbed inside. Sitting within it, you felt your hand dip into the gel encasing with fascination as Max powered up the pod and got everything ready with the monitor. Cautiously, you laid back suddenly nervous. Nervous that it wouldn’t work but even more nervous that it would. You felt the metal cage get brought down on your body and your head was on a swivel looking around at the room and the small space you would be encased in.

“You okay?” Max asked, able to see the moment of panic displayed on your face.

You sent him a smile back though realizing that it was everything you had ever wanted, “Yeah.”

“Good, just lay back and close your eyes. Let your mind go blank,” he explained, closing the top of the link pod on you, sealing you inside.

You could hear your breath and the twitch within your fingers as you stared up at the ceiling of the pod, trapped inside. After about a minute, you inhaled and closed your eyes, trying to calm down your racing heart. Before you knew it, it was all over with a flash of light. Your eyes fluttered open and blurred for a mere moment as you were faced with bright luminescent lights beating down on you. For a few seconds, you stared up at them, wondering if it had actually worked but then you were brought back to reality as you heard some bustling from beside you, causing your ears to twitch at how loud and clear it was.

Head snapping into the direction of the sound, you found Norm standing there in a lab coat with an oxygen mask pulled over his face messing with a monitor. Looking around the small medicalized room before you, you found yourself in a hospital gown and just below that long legs and blue feet hanging off the edge of the medical bed. You gasped and raised your arms up to peer at your hands. They were blue with five fingers. Sitting up quickly, you stared at them in wonder as the sudden movement caught Norm’s attention.

“Hey, take it easy, okay? We should take things slow,” Norm said, hands raised out towards you as he came to your side. He lifted his hand and did a couple of snaps by the side of your head, satisfied in the way your ears twitched in response.

“It worked,” you grinned suddenly, looking behind you to find a long braid with the queue and an even longer tail moving around on the bed.

He returned the look on your face, “Yeah it worked, but we still have a lot to do. Lots of tests to make sure everything is in order.”

You barely heard what he said as your hands traced over your tail as it moved. Finally looking up, you met the gaze of Max through the large glass window still standing behind a desk and a monitor that looked at your brain function. He smiled and you could only return it.

It took another fifteen minutes of testing motor skills that consisted of things like touching each finger to your thumb and wiggling your toes before you were allowed to stand and another ten after that before they let you walk around. You were restless by that time, barely able to control your new body that suddenly resembled a baby deer stumbling around, evident in the way you nearly fell every so often and your tail seemed to collide with every single thing around you. After half an hour, you began to get the hang of it, walking around the small space as Norm checked on a few more things with the avatar. It was late in the day by the time they found a spare set of clothes lying around in some old things and you were able to step outside of the lab.

Dressed in some of Grace’s avatar’s old clothes, you stood in front of the door of the medical room, a new feeling appearing, one that resembled hope. You stepped out with Norm just behind you and instantly the sun that hung low in the sky hit you in the face but not as hard as the breeze that you had never felt on your face before. You took in a deep breath, able to smell the air and have it fill your lungs without a mask strapped onto you. It was a new sense of freedom you had never realized you would appreciate so much. When you opened your eyes, your gaze found the forest just on the other side of the fence and suddenly a new kind of determination appeared.

“Max, please,” you begged as you entered back into the medical room to ask if they would let you go out into the forest for an hour at most. It was a few hours until it would be dark and you knew you wouldn’t go as far as a few miles. There were weapons you could even take with you but both Norm and Max were reluctant.

“It’s just the first day, Y/N/N. That’s a lot of stress to put on you and the avatar. Plus, it’s getting late,” he reasoned.

“It would be for an hour and you know I wouldn’t go too far. Please, I need this. I need to just experience a little bit more,” you said, glancing over to Norm who seemed to be considering your words. “I know about so many things. I would know what to avoid and what would be safe.”

“She has a point there,” Norm interjected.

“Yeah, and I know we still have some transmitters lying around. I’ll wear one so we can be in contact the whole time. And if need be I could even take a weapon, something to defend myself, just an hour, please Max.”

He sighed and that’s when you knew you had him. Glancing down at the link pod that held your human body and then up at you through the glass window, he couldn’t destroy that look in your large golden eyes, that happiness that he hadn’t seen in years.

“Fine. But an hour do you hear me? If it starts to get darker sooner, you get your butt right back here, okay?”

You jumped up and down, tail wagging from side to side, “Yes, yes of course. Thank you. Thank you.”

You should have listened to them. You shouldn’t have gotten too ahead of yourself. Somehow there was something about this body, this feeling of control that made you a little crazy. As soon as you stepped into the brush further into the forest, you broke out into a sprint, legs unable to stop their movements as you pushed back tree limbs and wide brush. Within the first fifteen minutes, you happened to go further than the one-mile restriction you had promised them. Instead, you fed them lies over the transmitter and ignored their questions every once in a while, promising that you would be back any minute. You hadn’t run that long or that fast in so long though. Contained in a small building and a patch of land all your life. You didn’t know how long it would last; this freedom, this body, this ability to be quick with even quicker reflexes. Ones you were still trying to get used to at that. You should have listened though.

It was starting to get dark, slowly, and just as you spoke through the transmitter saying you would be back soon, you felt your heart drop within your stomach. A sound resembled a hiss of some kind just a few feet away behind a set of trees. It was low, rough, and vibrated within your ears. Hidden behind a tree, you peeked around and felt your ears flatten out of fear at the sight of the large Thanator with even bigger teeth, sharp claws digging into the soil of the ground, and ears on high alert. It was the same creature that had once led Jake Sully into the forest where he made contact with the Omatikaya directly. He barely made it out alive and you weren’t looking to find out if you could outrun it just as he had. You held your breath and counted to five before you slowly began to walk deeper into the forest, constantly looking over your shoulder. When you felt like you were far enough, out of earshot, you broke out into a sprint. You were panting, completely out of breath, forehead dripping in sweat as you continued with the pace for almost ten minutes.

However suddenly as you glanced behind you to see if it was there somehow following you, you felt your foot latch onto something, a rock maybe or a log. It sent your body forward, hurling you until you felt yourself collide with the ground. Quickly you began to fall, rolling at a fast rate down a large hill hitting things you couldn’t even see, and before you knew it you had come to a stop.

Hours later, you were waking up and the daylight was gone leaving you surrounded by the sounds of animals and insects lurking around unseen. You blinked a couple of times wondering if you were back in the link pod and your brain was just playing tricks on you but when you felt an intense amount of pain shoot through your shoulder you knew you were still in the forest and still within your avatar’s body. You couldn’t understand why but it didn’t matter.

You sat up slowly, noticing a pond lay nearby glowing, filled with lily pads and different flora. Numerous other plants and insects were just as bright; all consisting of either green, purple, pink, or blue. You felt your breath hitch as you scanned the area, wary as you thought about what had you running in the first place. You felt the sting again as you leaned back against the tree you must have collided with and reached up to press your fingers against your shoulder.

When you pulled it back it was stained red. Shaking your head, you reached up to touch the transmitter that had been attached to your ear but felt a wave of panic rush through you as it was no longer there. You looked around the ground but it wasn’t there either. Cursing underneath your breath, the realization dawned on you that you were lost and completely alone.

It didn’t last long though because as you managed to pull yourself to your feet, a sound emerged from out of the brush a few feet in front of you. First what sounded like hushed voices, but then footsteps moving quietly across the ground. Instantly, your mind jumped to the idea of the Omatikaya and tried to move around the side of the tree to conceal yourself. If they wanted to shoot and kill you at first glance, they could because even if you looked like them you weren’t and that could easily be identified.

You held your breath just as the brush moved to the side and three figures emerged. Two were around the same size as one another and the third was significantly smaller. The first two were Omatikaya just like you originally thought with similar clothing, and belts littered with knives. They were arguing and as their voices sounded somewhat familiar, you glanced over at the third figure; tan skin, long dreads, barely tall enough to reach the Omatikaya’s shoulders. Then you saw the oxygen mask and you realized just then who it was. Spider was the first to notice you as you revealed yourself from around the tree.

Clutching your shoulder in pain, he got the attention of both Lo’ak and Kiri. Within a matter of seconds, both of their knives were drawn and everyone seemed to be frozen in place, holding their breath. Lo’ak protectively stepped in front of Spider, and Kiri took one step closer to you, ears flat and teeth bared for you to see. A hiss was just on the tip of her tongue as her eyes took you in. It was the clothing that ignited fear in them all because it meant you weren’t Omatikaya and since you resembled them it was a whole new fear they didn’t know they would be encountering so soon. Somehow though as she looked from your clothes up to your features, her expression softened slightly, her eyes appearing less threatening but curious. Then as she noticed your hand clutched tightly around your shoulder, her orbs fell to the bright beaded bracelet around your wrist, and at that the recognition was instant.

She stood up straight, arms going limp at her sides as her golden eyes widened in shock. She glanced one more time at the bracelet and the lack of fear that seemed to occupy your face. A gasp suddenly was ripped from her throat, dropping her knife to the ground. Quickly she rushed over to you ignoring her brother’s protests.

“Oh great mother,” she said, voice barely above a whisper as her hands gently took a hold of your arms, eyes examining your face up close. Starting at your nose, then your glowing eyes, they fell down to your tail and long dark flowy hair that went past your shoulders all the way to the five fingers that accompanied your hands.

Lo’ak kept repeating her name warily with Spider looking on with slight worry but she couldn’t even glance their way as her fingers moved up to trace over your nose in complete awe. A small smile ghosted over her lips, “Really?”

“Hi,” you whispered, and at the recognition of your voice, she lurched forward and hugged you tightly.

You hissed slightly under your breath but returned her embrace as best as you could and as the two boys looked at the two of you, the sound of your voice and the familiarity of your features seemed to get their attention. Lo’ak’s ears flickered and suddenly his eyes had gotten just as wide as his sister’s. “What the fuck?”

The Sully boy cursed and slid his knife back into his belt before closing the gap between where he stood and the two of you. As Kiri released you, he walked around her to get a better look at you, and as soon as your eyes met, the largest smile formed across his lips. He was only a few inches taller than you and for once you got to see him in a whole new way. “No fucking way.”

His gaze lingered on your eyes and your mouth for a brief second before he circled around you, flicking your tail amusingly. You groaned out of annoyance and pulled your tail back from his touch. His fingers then pressed along your ear to your hair as he continued to walk around you, unable to fully take in that it was really you standing in front of him and in a dream walker’s body. Touch tracing along your arm, he stood in front of you again and instantly took a hold of your wrist. With your hand stuck out, your palm turned upwards, his breath became lodged within his throat as he stared down at it. Stared down at your slightly smaller hands, ones that somehow resembled his more than the rest of the Na’vi. His fingertips then with the lightest touch traced your palm and then your fingers, before sliding them in between yours, holding tightly onto your hand.

Looking up and over his shoulder at Spider, it seemed that look alone snapped him out of his confused state and he instantly took note of the familiarity of the dream walker in front of him as well as the clothes. “No. No!”

A furrow formed in between his brows and he glared over at you as Kiri noticed the jealousy right away. It was evident across his face and you all knew it. “They didn’t. They wouldn’t.”

You were silent, avoiding his eyes because you knew deep down that as much as you wanted this, so did he. He had run away to be with the Omatikaya as much as he could for fucks sake. You knew that automatically would make him feel like he deserved this way more than you ever had. “They gave you your own fucking avatar?”

His tone was harsh, almost like nails on a chalkboard. It fueled some anger of your own and resentment towards the younger boy enough that your eyes snapped back in his direction, a glare of your own forming. You were smug as you respond with, “Yes. Yes, they did.”

“They gave you your own avatar and let you run off on your own into the forest. Why can’t I possibly believe that?”

You became silent again at the second part and broke eye contact away from him. You could still feel his hard stare as it left an unsettling feeling in your stomach. Because that hadn’t been what had happened. You felt Lo’ak squeeze your hand as it was still clutching his. All three of them could see the uneasiness that had spread across your blue face.

“Wait a second,” Spider stated, breaking the silence, “Norm and Max wouldn’t have let you do that. Let you wander off on your own your very first day with it. There’s no fucking way. You’re inexperienced and they know that you would get yourself killed. Y/N!”

You stepped forward, feeling Lo’ak pull back on your hand. “Look, I don’t know what happened. I was exploring the forest that is all and it’s not a crime. But then I saw a Thanator and I got scared.”

“A what?” Kiri asked suddenly.

“A palulukan,” you corrected, the Na’vi word coming off your tongue effortlessly and both Sully children shared a worried glance with one another at the word. “Then while I was running I must have slipped or fallen or whatever. I lost my transmitter and I just woke up here. It was stupid, I know that, okay?”

As he took in your words, a self-satisfied grin then appeared on his face, “You realize they won’t let you ever take it out again. I wouldn’t be surprised if they went as far to take it away now.”

“Spider,” Lo’ak snapped at him, jaw slightly clenched as he finally let go of your hand.

Worry was evident on your face as that was the last thing you wanted now that you knew what it felt like. Kiri looked over at you and she noticed the way you were chewing on your lower lip staring at the ground. As she took in the rest of you, that's when she saw that you were still gripping your shoulder, blood painted across your fingers and the back of your hand. She stepped forward and released your grip to look at the wound and at the sight, she let out an unapproved sigh. “You’re hurt and it’s deep. We need to get this cleaned up.”

Your ears perked up at that as she grabbed your arm and began to lead you in the opposite direction of the camp. You stopped though, digging your heels into the ground and pulling her back. “Kiri, wait. Just take me back to the base okay? Norm and Max can help me there.”

“The village is closer and it’s dark. We couldn’t possibly go all the way back now.”

“Kiri, please,” you begged, as the thought crossed your mind of entering the village and facing all of the Omatikaya, your appearance giving away that you were nothing but an outsider, someone who didn’t belong. It would be the first dream walker they would have seen in many years and the fear of what could happen appeared in your chest and it was almost suffocating. It worsened as you thought about their mother and what she would possibly do.

“We’re already past curfew, Kiri,” Lo’ak reminded her, “Mom’s going to have our asses.”

“Well, we can’t just leave her behind,” Kiri argued.

Spider chuckled, “Yes, we can.”

All three of you glared over at the boy still fuming with jealousy at the sight of the older girl who happened to get an avatar before him. It was evident in the way he spoke, though deep down they all knew you wouldn’t survive out there all alone. That was why his comment sparked such rage in both of the siblings.

Kiri’s gaze softened as she met the eyes of her oldest friend again, now gold and light and matching her own. It filled her with a sense of excitement herself to see that you finally resembled them and stepped foot off the camp. There were so many more possibilities now that you had this new body. She could finally show you the forest, her village, her life, everything she had been dying to show you for years. The sole obstacle at that moment was her mother. Even with that obstacle though, she knew her father, the Olo’eyktan would let you in and protect you just as he did with Spider, dream walker or not. Because many years ago he used to be one too. Everything would be fine. She was sure of it. The great mother Eywa was sure of it.

“Y/N, you can’t stay out here. Do you understand me? We need to go.”

“Kiri.”

“It will be okay. I promise.”

You nodded after a moment, reluctant at first but began to follow them as Kiri picked up her knife from the ground and began to move swiftly through the forest. Spider pushed past you and caught up to her as Lo’ak waited for you, making sure you were at his side. Your heart was pulsing so loudly, you swore you could hear it in your ears, your anxiety clear through your movements that were less than relaxed or quick. Lo’ak kept sneaking glances at you but you didn’t have it in you to even acknowledge him, too worried to do so.

After a few moments of walking, Kiri and Spider began to speed up. It was getting hard to keep up with them because the later in the night it got, the faster they all got, their own fear of being scolded and getting a smack down their sole motivator. They leaped over tree limbs and crossed long logs. It felt like you were getting left behind as every few seconds Lo’ak would have to slow down slightly to make sure you didn’t get more than a few feet behind them. He was almost tempted to grab your hand again and drag you along, but he knew better than to do that.

As they dashed through the forest, it led you to believe that you must have been close to the village. As it turned out, it was just across this fallen tree and through the brush. You hurried after them as they balanced across the long log that overlooked a terrain, hundreds of feet down. Your eyes suddenly widened as you watched Kiri and Spider leap across from the edge of the tree’s trunk to the other side landing on the ground with almost grace. Lo’ak followed them and you felt yourself swallow the spit that had gathered in the back of your throat, hands shaking as they seemed to continue into the forest.

Falling behind, you attempted to make the jump but as you landed on the other side, just near the edge, you felt your foot get caught and slip slightly. You felt your weight shift backwards and your breath got pulled back into your throat, a scream unable to escape. However, just as you felt your body begin to fall, a hand wrapped around your wrist pulled you forward to their body and ultimately steadied you. You looked up to find Lo’ak staring back at you with a smirk plastered across his face. Withholding an eye roll from his confidence, you returned his look with a small smile.

Running after Kiri and Spider, your legs started to feel weak, almost like they could collapse at any moment. Lo’ak rushed forward towards the front of the group, but just as he rounded the corner near the edge of the brush, you all watched as he collided with a solid frame. It almost knocked him to the ground but the slightly taller person managed to grab his shoulder before he could. The rest of you came to a stop and you watched from behind Kiri the way the other Na’vi’s grip on Lo’ak seemed to tighten as he sent a threatening gaze down at him.

Grabbing onto Kiri’s arm, you looked around her to examine the other Na’vi. He was tall, taller than Lo’ak by a few inches, with broad shoulders, a defined torso paired with a slim waist. His expression was pinched together, serious, almost unfitting for how soft his features were. His bright gold eyes held a sharp glare that made you shift uncomfortably behind Kiri.

Lo’ak didn’t back down though. No instead that smirk returned to his face. “Well if it isn’t daddy’s perfect soldier.”

“Ftang nga! (Stop it!).” His voice was deep, deeper than you would have expected as he almost growled down at Lo’ak. “Where have you guys been? It’s been dark for hours.”

“I see you’re following up on your orders, brother,” he continued, finding amusement in the way the other Na’vi boy tensed under his words.

Brother.

Your eyes widened suddenly, grip tightening around Kiri’s arm. She glanced down at you but you didn’t look away from the Na’vi before you. Brother. So this was it, the missing link. Neteyam Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan. The future Olo’eyktan. The great Toruk Makto’s eldest son. The one who seemed completely responsible for the rest of his siblings when his parents weren’t around. The one who would one day be responsible for everyone else within the Omatikaya clan. He would one day hold the entire world on his shoulders and that pressure seemed to already be showing. It didn’t help that he had an asshat of a younger brother who never made him forget it.

The golden child. The perfect soldier. That was how Lo’ak had always described him all these years. Everything that he could have said to actually explain the kind of person Neteyam was wasn’t ever mentioned. No, because it didn’t matter who he was now or had been for his whole life but who he is supposed to become.

His threatening gaze shifted away from Lo’ak to Kiri and Spider, but it faltered almost instantly as his eyes found you hiding behind his sister, your own stare wide and locked onto him. He was silent as he took you in, expression unreadable to you but almost softer than how he had been looking at his brother previously. His ears flattened slightly behind his head, his glare disappearing completely as he scanned over your face and the very unfamiliar features. His eyes followed yours, the way they glowed intensively in his direction, to the white spots across the bridge of your nose and around your eyes. Your own ears flickered while your lips quirked up into a soft smile, one he couldn’t look away from.

However, the trance he seemed to be in broke as he noticed your clothes and the blood soaking through your shirt on your shoulder. Strange material he hadn’t seen on anyone but the sky people. Your hand was still clutched onto Kiri and that’s when he saw that your hand resembled more of his sister’s, and brother’s, and the human stood in front of him rather than his own. His eyes then snapped back to his younger brother, who hadn’t even moved or faltered under his gaze.

“What did you do?”

Lo’ak’s eyes widened and hissed slightly under his breath, “Me? Why do you always assume that I did something?”

“Because you always do. It’s like your brain is wired to never listen to anyone. You can’t do anything but get into trouble,” Neteyam reasoned, “I mean example A. It’s dark, way past your curfew and here you are Lo’ak, leading the fucking pack.”

The younger brother’s ears dropped, his stomach turning at the words and the way his older sibling was looking at him — with pure disappointment. Leaning around Kiri, you tried to get a look at Lo’ak’s face and felt your own chest tighten at the sight of it. Eyes wide, almost in complete shock at hearing those words though you knew it hadn’t been the first time. Always he seemed to get himself into trouble and Neteyam always took the blame from their parents and the future Olo’eyktan always held it against Lo’ak. Just as Lo’ak always held it against Neteyam for being the perfect son.

You watched then as his broken expression disappeared and instead was replaced with anger. He pushed his older brother’s chest but Neteyam didn’t back down. He held his ground like a good future leader would with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Lo’ak then hissed, “Tsap’alute (sorry), that I’m the fuck up of the family. That I can’t be perfect like you. The perfect soldier.”

“Stop, calling me that!”

“Well stop assuming that I did something wrong.”

Both brothers' voices had reached an all-time high, screaming at one another, faces pinched together and flushed with color. You couldn’t help but look between the two of them just waiting, begging that Spider or Kiri would step in to stop them from saying any more. To break up the hard-set gazes and the need to be at each other’s throats but neither of them did. They just stood there and watched as the two brothers yelled it out.

“Then what is this Lo’ak?” Neteyam asked turning his head for a split second, letting his eyes meet yours. However, this time his stare wasn’t soft but unwavering of the intensity he had sent to his siblings. “You have a dream walker with you. A dream walker. You know what mom has told us about them. They shouldn’t—”

“She’s not just a dream walker, Neteyam,” he cut him off, voice letting out a low growl, “It’s Y/N.”

At the name, the eldest son’s ears perked up, his eyes never leaving yours. Proving that the name somehow meant something to him or that he had heard it before which wouldn’t have been unlikely as you had been interacting with his siblings for well over five years. He took you in then, somehow no longer just seeing a dream walker or a false Na’vi body but you, for the first time ever.

Everyone else found themselves looking at you too but you couldn’t look away from Neteyam or the hold he suddenly had on you at that moment. Lo'ak, still not feeling as if he had gotten the last word, continued, his pointer finger digging into his brother’s chest, eyes narrowed.

“And in case you have forgotten—”

Without looking away from you Neteyam stepped away from Lo’ak ignoring him, and seeming to not have anything else to say but, “Za’u (come)!”

“What?” Kiri asked looking from her older brother to you where his focus still was. “Really?”

He nodded, annoyance evident in his tone, “Let’s go. It’s already late enough and Mo’at says there is a storm coming.”

As you all continued what was left to the village, he never looked at you again. Instead, he walked in the front, one hand protectively gripping the knife at his waist, on high alert. You trudged along behind them, trying to stay as close to Kiri as possible but you kept getting distracted. It was the way his muscles shifted with each movement and he wasn’t entirely what you had thought him to be. After all these years, you had finally encountered the great Toruk Makto’s eldest son. The one who was working day in and day out to prove to everyone that he could one day be the leader they all hoped he could be. Something you very well knew but him being as attractive as he was seemed to never have been mentioned.

You felt a small flick to your chest just as you moved through the last remaining brush. Kiri was looking over her shoulder at you, a surprised look across her face, “You’re staring.”

“I am not.”

Your voice was a mere whisper but in the quiet forest, it still managed to catch his ears as he turned his head slightly to the side, but after a moment decided against engaging in the girl talk at the back of the group.

Kiri laughed, right in your face, completely amused at the situation, “Hm, and I am sure Neteyam’s back would think otherwise.”

“Shut up,” you hissed, but the rest of the words that were on your tongue had fallen away just as you stepped out of the long grass. Lights occupied the area, drawing your attention. Lanterns littered across the area that had cleared up significantly, leaving clear-cut grass rather than long ratty weeds.

Your steps slowed almost in disbelief. You were finally there after all those years. Omatikaya's village. Large trees still filled the area, ones that towered so high they were almost impossible to climb, but among those were huts scattered all across the area, going as far as you could see in the dark. Your ears flickered at the noise, the numerous voices from all around. So many that it had been the first time in your entire life to be in a place inhabited by more than ten people. Blinking in almost awe, you felt Kiri take a hold of your wrist and tug you along.

As you walked through the village, your head was on a constant swivel; couples sat outside their huts staring up towards the sky littered with stars, kids laughing and playing a game resembling tag. A few stopped to peer at the new face in strange clothing but only for a few seconds before they went back to their game. Other families were already tucked into bed, getting rest and preparing for the long night and day ahead of them.

Just as Neteyam had mentioned as well as Norm and Max, there was a massive storm coming. Rain and thunder were expected, something more monstrous than the ones that typically happened on Earth. It caused a new set of nerves to form because there was no saying when this storm would hit and if you were denied the chance to stay the night, you weren’t sure how you were going to get back or let alone navigate the forest in the dark. You wouldn’t survive.

It was as if Kiri could feel the shift in the air. The way your awestruck expression had melted away into complete fear and worry. She felt it in the way your frame was tense, unable to meet her gaze all of a sudden. As you made your way through the village, from a few feet away you noticed a woman standing in front of a hut, arms crossed over her chest, an expression that in itself could elicit fear. Neytiri.

She was beautiful, elegant, everything a chief’s daughter was but she was also intensely loyal and protective, more so since becoming a mother and a wife. She had felt and experienced the most pain from the war that had been inflicted on her people, evident in the losses she witnessed. Her hatred towards the sky people only grew after all these years and the sight of her intense stare locked onto her children had you cowering behind her eldest daughter.

You all stopped before her, Neteyam stepping closer to her to witness the scornful speech he knew would be delivered when she had asked him to run off and locate his brother and sister. Finding you, however, was not expected and even he knew his mother would not take to it lightly having you there. A loud pop of thunder encased your ears, making you jump as she stared daggers down at her youngest son, standing proudly in front of everyone else.

“Where have you been? You know the rules,” she said, voice stern, “Be back here before dark.”

Lo’ak held up his hands defensively, “Why are you only looking at me?”

“Tìfnu (quiet).”

Rolling his eyes, he groaned noticing the glare his older brother was sending his way, but he closed his mouth quickly as he saw the way his mother was looking at him. It was scary, to say the least, how the anger was evident in her bright eyes.

“What happened? What was it now?”

When her son refused to answer her, she directed her eyes to her daughter, but the motherly look on her face was drained within seconds as she noticed you, hiding behind Kiri, clutching your shoulder, a hand full of blood. She knew within a split second that you weren’t Omatikaya or Na’vi at all. The alien before her stuck out like a sore thumb and though you appeared just as she did, you had tainted blood flowing through your veins. A new look of anger occupied her face as she walked past both Lo’ak and Spider, aiming to get to you. Kiri revealed you to her mother but pressed her arm across your front as if to protect you. Neytiri noticed the small action and hissed, barring her sharp teeth to you. You flinched, almost ready to fall to your knees and pull your legs to your chest, into a ball.

“She’s hurt. We found her all alone, mother. That’s what happened,” Kiri explained.

“Skxawng parultsyip (stupid children),” Neytiri’s hands raised up into the air as so many different emotions formed upon her face as she then turned to you, “You need to leave.”

Her words were directed to you as she continued, “You are not welcome here! Do you understand me?”

“Mom,” Lo’ak pushed by her to stand in front of you, noticing the way your ears flattened and your eyes grew to twice their size, “She’s a friend.”

“Kehe (no). I don’t care what she is, she must go.”

Both of them now were holding you, trying to keep you from collapsing to the ground as the harshness, the loss of blood, and the worry had made you shift uncontrollably from one foot to the other. Your fear was evident to all of them. For a moment you swore Neteyam’s face had shifted, from a stoic expression to one of almost pity. You felt your heart drop, as if she had stomped on it directly. You knew you would have never been accepted, even if you had looked like them, studied for years to know their language, their ways of life. None of it would matter because to them you would always be one thing: an outsider. One of the sky people.

“Neytiri!” The sound of a strong voice caught everyone’s attention as a larger frame approached full of dominance and authority. Jake Sully. Toruk Makto. The Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya.

It hadn’t been long since you had seen him. A few years at most as he had always visited Norm and Max here and there but not as often as he wished in exchange to appease his wife. After all, he no longer was one of them but Na’vi through and through. He looked from his wife who was still shaking with anger, fangs poking out of her mouth, to you. He took in the rest of the situation. Kiri and Lo’ak both holding onto you. Spider looks on nearby, uncertain of what would happen. Neteyam stared at the ground barely able to look at the girl dressed in clothes that resembled a sky person. Jake saw the blood immediately on your frame, littered across your shirt, and the tired expression that occupied your young face.

Immediately, he knew. Knew what had happened, who you were, and the entire situation which made his wife act the way she had. He stepped forward until he was right in front of you and for a moment you closed your eyes almost asking, praying that you would wake up in the link pod to find that it all was a dream.

Lo’ak’s arms tightened around you, “It’s Y/N, Dad.”

Jake inhaled and then let it go as your eyes fluttered open. Peering up at him, you watched as there seemed to be an internal war going on inside of his head. He looked over at his wife and then back to his children intertwined around you. Another clap of thunder seemed to draw him out of his thoughts. Reaching forward, his fingers brushed across your shoulder and you hissed out in pain.

His brows furrowed, the same pitiful look that was across his eldest son’s face seconds ago now occupied his, “You okay?”

You nodded quickly, unable to fully take in that he was there and talking to you. He returned your action, nodding, a warm look occupying his face. He then shared a look with his two children. “Take her to an extra hut and clean her up there. Alright?”

A smile formed across Kiri’s face but immediately noticing her mother’s gaze over Jake’s shoulder she let it disappear quickly. She wrapped both of her arms around you and then steered you away with Lo’ak and Spider following behind. She heard her mother’s protests as she walked away. Jake then turned to face his eldest son and the wife that he knew was looking to pick a fight at that moment.

Nodding in the direction the rest of you disappeared, he spoke to Neteyam, “Go.”

The eldest Sully sighed but listened anyway and began to walk away, his footsteps heavy against the ground. As soon as he was gone, Neytiri stepped towards her husband, a new fire evident in her eyes as her fangs glistened in the moonlight.

“This is not happening. Do you hear me? That thing is not staying here!”

“She’s just a kid,” Jake reasoned.

“No!” Neytiri met him chest to chest, voice reverberating as she dug deep inside to find the strength to remain calm, “She is a threat in a false body. You know that as much as I do. How are you not worried that there is another one?”

“Because I used to be one.”

Jake found himself getting just as angry, suddenly becoming very defensive over you after years of watching you grow up from afar. But all those years he had heard countless things from both Max and Norm as well as his children. You were no sky person, no enemy, looking to attack his family and his people. You were just a young girl who wanted to experience firsthand another life. That’s all.

At those words, Neytiri’s face softened, memories from years ago filtering through the back of her head like a movie. Jake Sully. A warrior of the jarhead clan. Looking to learn the ways to be able to see. He had sacrificed himself for her people and completely stole her heart in the process. He had proved himself.

“That was different.”

“Maybe so, but you need to realize that so is she,” Jake said earnestly, pointing over his shoulder towards the hut where his children resided, “I know you’re worried. Of course, you would be, after everything you have been through. You have been through hell, but so has she.”

“Jake,” she whispered his name and at that he reached forward both of his hands finding her arms.

“You are so quick to assume she is like the rest of them. But remember I was like them. When I got here, I was sent on a mission and I thought just as they had. I was careless, misunderstanding, and completely selfish. A complete skxawng, but then I met you. I met the Omatikaya people and you taught me how to see the world in a whole new way. I fell in love with this place and with you.”

Tears formed in her eyes as she stared at him, every word hitting her in the chest. His eyes never wavered from hers as he continued, “Y/N already sees so much more than I did when I came here. She has spent the majority of her life studying the ways that we live every day. Why do you think you have never seen her? Because she knows more than anyone that what her people did was horrible and unforgivable. She understands what we think of her kind and so she has stayed away. But somehow even with doing that she has caught the attention of our children and she has been so good to them.”

“They’re protective of her,” she noted, suddenly feeling some guilt over her hostility towards no more than a young woman who was in need of shelter and rest.

“Yes, and you should be so proud of them. You have taught them to protect the ones they love and they were doing just that.”

She nodded, a small smile ghosting over her lips. At his words and how right he was. She had taught them so many things and among them to find the good in people and keep it close to them at all costs. Somehow that was you and she couldn’t quite understand it yet.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath before meeting his eyes again, “I don’t know about this, ma Jake.”

One of his hands reached up and cupped her cheek just as soft raindrops began to fall from the sky, soaking into their skin. “I know, but so long ago you gave me a chance to prove myself. To prove that I could belong here. I think she deserves that as well. A chance.”

A moment of silence passed. Neytiri stared at the ground for a moment repeating his words over and over in her head. Finally, just as the rain got worse, she looked back up at him. Her mind was made up and she reached forward to lean her head toward his. With no other words, she simply nodded. It was barely even a movement but everything that was communicated to him was exactly what he needed to hear.

Jake smiled then and leaned forward kissing her forehead softly, “That’s my girl.”

Breaking away from one another, Neytiri took Jake’s hand in her own and began to walk towards the hut, all of her children had led you to. Thunder erupted for the third time just as a flash of light crossed the sky gaining their attention for a split second. As they approached the hut, light shined through the doorway. However, their eldest son sat outside just by the door, arms crossed over his chest, eyes set forward looking on to the village and the storm that had just arrived. Jake’s brows furrowed for a moment out of confusion at the sight, noticing how where the rest of his children seemed to be enthralled by you like a moth to a flame it was as if Neteyam wanted nothing to do with you. In fact, that protectiveness or any recognition of feeling didn’t seem evident to him. It was as if he had no interest in you at all. But at the way their son sat, stuck in his thoughts, almost so much so he hadn’t noticed them in front of him at first.

Neytiri stopped before him and nodded towards the hut, “Za’u (come).”

She entered then with Jake following behind. A few seconds later Neteyam entered behind them, steps faltering slightly as his eyes found yours. You were sitting on the floor, knees towards your chest. Kiri had ripped your shirt, almost entirely off to get access to the long cut. Dirt stuck to your shorts and was also littered across your face, and your long hair was pulled to one side to give more access to the wound. This was the first time he was seeing you with light. Your face now so much brighter, allowed him a moment to stare at your features and take them in, almost like he was going to file them away in his memory. Your eyes were screwed shut, your nose scrunched, and your lips formed into a tight line as you groaned and whimpered at the pain. Your shirt or what was left of it was coated in blood and Neteyam had to refrain from shifting at the sight of the bare skin of your shoulder and part of your chest. Even with the painful expression imprinted across your face, he couldn’t deny his sudden attraction towards you.

As your eyes opened at the sound of Neytiri clearing her throat, they met him instantly. He tore his away instead of looking over at his younger brother that seemed just as encapsulated by you as he was moments ago. Yours then shifted to Neytiri and Jake who both stood by the doorway soaked from head to toe. Her expression was unreadable and at the sight of her, you leaned back but didn’t look away. Kiri withdrew her hands away from the cut and her incessant cleaning to listen to what her parents, more so what her mother had to say.

“So you want to learn?”

The question took you by surprise so much that it took you almost thirty seconds to even respond with all eyes boring down on you. You were unable to form words so you nodded. It seemed she didn’t approve of that though as her eyes narrowed slightly. “Pivlltxe (speak)!”

“Yes.” Your voice was small, and they all took note of it. You cleared your throat and tried again, “Yes.”

Neytiri glanced over her shoulder at Neteyam who had been looking at you, but at the sight of his mother peering over at him, his stare dropped to the ground. The corner of her mouth quirked up in slight amusement as she then turned back to you.

“It is decided, my son will teach you our ways. To speak and walk as we do.”

Both of her sons’ heads shot up, sharing a look with their mother. Lo’ak let out a noise of approval as her words hit him straight in the face, “Really?”

Neytiri and Jake looked towards their youngest son and it was almost comical how quickly he assumed she was talking about him as if he knew how to teach and express the ways of Eywa and the Na’vi when all he had an interest in doing was creating trouble. Neytiri looked away from him to Neteyam who was staring at his mother expectantly, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. He was waiting for what she had to say.

Her hand gestured to him as she turned back to you, “Neteyam.”

Your heart stopped for a second or two as your eyes widened slightly. Glancing at each brother, you watched as their reactions unfolded. Lo’ak’s expression dropped, annoyance appearing as he huffed and folded his arms across his chest. The resentment was there for his brother and this was just another prime example he would use to build that up. Neteyam appeared as you did, a deer in headlights in complete shock but then as it set in that he was being given the responsibility to teach a dream walker the way of Eywa, he became spiteful. He stepped towards his mother and lowered his voice as if he was going to protest but she held up her hand silencing him.

“It is decided. You want to be Olo’eyktan someday and if you do this we’ll know you’re ready,” she repeated this time to only him, “You’ll start tomorrow.”

He let out a sigh, one that expressed he was giving up arguing, and instead glanced over at you to find the shocked look still on your face. Silence occupied the hut again as Neytiri with her expression softer towards you than it ever had been, nodded before stepping out of the hut to go to her own.

Jake directed his voice at you, “Get some rest.”

Just as he turned to follow his wife though, you spoke up, “Jake.”

He looked back at you. You smiled, “Thank you.”

A small wink was sent your way from the man. No other words were exchanged then and you watched as he left, his footsteps fading away. Neteyam still stood in the same spot, gobsmacked by the situation he had gotten put into. You looked at him expectantly and finally, he dared to meet your eyes.

He was irritated and it was evident in the way his shoulders were tense and squared up, his voice resembling anything but warm, “I’ll meet you outside tomorrow morning. Early tomorrow morning.”

He disappeared out into the night after that and you were left with some ease knowing that it was only Lo’ak, Kiri, and Spider left. Your whole body relaxed and you leaned against Kiri, your head falling upon her shoulder as Lo’ak still stood in the corner fuming at what had just happened.

With a deep breath, you lifted your head to Kiri and then shifted to Lo’ak, “What the fuck just happened?”

Kiri laughed, filling the room with a little more joy than previously had filled it, “They’re going to let you stay.”

“Yeah and she chose Neteyam to be the one…” Lo’ak said, his voice trailing off as his expression hardened in spite.

Kiri rolled her eyes at her brother and his sudden possessiveness over you but then let another laugh slip again as she realized something. You turned to her and her hand reached forward to push a loose piece of hair out of your eyes, her smile the only thing you could focus on.

“Wait until Tuk finds out about all this. Actually, wait until Tuk sees you.”

That night when you closed your eyes in that empty hut, the lantern blown out to leave you in complete darkness, you stared up out of the opening of the tent for a while, just watching the way the lightning lit up the sky almost with complete amplitude and deliberateness. Thunder rang in your ears while the sound of rain pelted against the side of the only shelter you had. It was dangerously beautiful just as this opportunity was. This opportunity to learn and prove yourself to the Na’vi. It was the eye of a storm, something so enticing and just begging you to walk out into the chaos. But even with all that, you felt the impending problems weighing down on your chest, all the possibilities that could go wrong.

You thought about it for a while before you fell asleep. When you woke up, you were staring up at a bright flashlight trailing across your eyes and two hands holding your face. You were no longer in the forest with the Omatikaya people, staring helplessly up at the ceiling of a hut but you were back in the camp, in a link pod, in your own body. It was blurry at first and then it all shifted, becoming entirely clear. Your eyes followed the lights as the voices of Max and Norm began to ring in your ears. Norm’s hands were cradling your head trying to get you to sit up in the link pod as Max was shining a flashlight in your eyes as if he had been trying to coax you back for hours. Their voices flooded your system and it felt so foreign at first but only for a second.

“That’s it, kid,” Norm said, slapping your cheek lightly, “Come on back.”

You blinked a couple of times and as you did your chest rose and fell from a deep breath as if you were grasping onto the oxygen trying to get in as much as you could. You coughed a couple of times.

Max turned the flashlight off, “That’s it.”

“You okay?”

You looked over at Norm and nodded almost as if you were unsure of the answer yourself. They helped you sit up with your legs swinging over the edge of the link pod while your hand rubbed your forehead like you were getting rid of a headache.

“What happened out there?” Max asked, his tone filled with worry, “Is the avatar safe?”

You cleared your throat, “Yeah. It’s safe.”

Norm shared a glance with Max, “Well where is it?”

“It's with the Omatikaya people in the village.”

#avatar #avatarimagine #avatar way of water #neteyam x reader #writing #fanfiction #neteyam imagine #avatar imagine #avatar fanfiction #lo'ak imagine #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak fanfiction #neteyam fanfiction

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fic-over-cannon · 5 months

Text

A Soft Touch (pt. 1)

jason todd x f!reader (implied)

summary: when the pit brought jason back, it heightened all of his senses. he learns to live with that.

tags: mild body horror, sensory overload, mentions of offscreen violence, implied future relationship

rated teen | wc: 1.9k

a/n: dedicated to @jasonsmirrorball my beloved, who was just as excited about this version of jason as i was. part one is mostly a retrospective about how super senses would have impacted jason. the romance part of this story (and nsfw) will be in part 2 coming soon!

link to part 2, ao3 link

The Red Hood’s helmet isn’t just a precaution against an exposed secret identity or another piece of armour. It’s a necessity. It filters out sound, keeps out pungent smells and the associated tastes, controls light, and can restrict range of vision. For a regular person the helmet would be sensory deprivation of the worst kind. For Jason, it is the lifeline that keeps him alive to fight another day.

If anyone had asked Jason’s opinion before throwing him into the Lazarus Pit (not that he was in a fit state to respond, mind you) he would have told them that trusting a puddle of primordial green goo to know the limitations of the human body was incredibly stupid. Having come out of the experience irrevocably altered, he would point to his own body as an example of how much the pit didn’t know about humanity. Every scar he received before death had been removed (notably, the scars from after death were left untouched). He was over six feet tall when childhood malnutrition should have left him a good five inches shorter. His strength, rather than the result of packed on muscle and a good diet was definitely being supplemented by something unnatural. For a body built like a fridge, he was ridiculously light on his feet and agile. The physics of him just don’t make sense. Yet despite all of these changes, undoubtedly the worst was how all five of his senses had been heightened.

The Lazarus Pit burned through Jason Todd and woke him up screaming. It was the feel of it that was the worst sensation, the one that brought him up to consciousness first. The rough weave of his training pants grating against his skin like wire, clinging to his raw flesh with the dampness of the pit. Green water, oddly viscous and acrid, drenching his skin and burning like a grease fire. It drips down his nose and throat, the taste of tar and blood seared into his tongue, the scent of burnt hair and flesh imprinted into his nose. It drips into his eyes and brands them. The dark cave only lit by the green glow of the pool now so bright like it holds the light of one hundred stars. Burning and drowning and being flayed alive, Jason has no care for noise save that it deafens him. For those first few moments of awakening, Jason may as well have been truly deaf for the thunderous roar of nothingness in his ears. A rubber band snaps and at once his hearing is another ice pick to the brain. Voices that should have been a whisper ring through his skull and reverberate. The footsteps of shadows several floors away staccato through him. It is a living hell made worse by a screaming that won’t shut up. It is only when a slap cracks across his face (it feels like all the skin on his cheek has sloughed off) and the scream trails off to pitiful whines does Jason dimly recognize that the screaming was him. Two pairs of hands under his arms haul him to standing and it hurts oh it hurts. Iron meat hooks digging and clawing their way into him until he is too pinned to slip away. That is the start to the illustrious second life of Jason Todd, newly gifted.

As much training is dedicated to making Jason a better warrior, twice that is given over to training him to survive his own senses. It is rough, brutal work, dictated by trainers that have never felt the pit’s bite. It destroys whatever sanity he might have had left after his rebirth and he is grateful. He is remade with control, no longer a pitiful broken mind tied to a falling star, bracing to burn up on impact. He no longer aches at the feel of fabric on his skin, can smile and hold a conversation without wanting to claw the other person’s heart out for beating too loudly, can drink wine and not taste every molecule. He is so very grateful. But it is not enough. Talia warns him, in what might be her first true act of uncomplicated kindness to him, that those who have survived the pit don’t do well in places where life is concentrated.

Returning to Gotham is not the triumph he pictured. Within minutes of touching down he is on a safe house floor convulsing from sensory overload. The city, with its people and the machinery that houses them, is too much of everything. There are so many voices overlaid with construction and traffic, the chemical rot of the harbour suffocating him, sewage and putrid fish thick on his tongue, fluorescent lights tearing through the soft space of his eyelids. Gunshots and sirens and the tang of old blood. It takes every one of his years of training to stop seizing. It takes iron will like he hadn’t known since the early days to come back to himself. It takes days before he can control himself enough to come face to face with the shadows Talia sent with him. His first order: to bring him a motorcycle helmet. The helmet is black and stinks of cigarette smoke, visor slightly scratched. It is the most powerful relief Jason has ever known. His plans are delayed by months as he figures out the specifications for the Red Hood’s helmet. Design after design prototyped and discarded. The helmet helps, but Jason refuses to let it become his crutch. He practices, minutes at first and then hours, retraining himself to be able to exist outside the confines of the helmet.

He fails in his revenge against Batman and the Replacement, the insidious demands of his heightened senses unraveling all his patience and planning. Sends him into a murderous frenzy that nearly ends in another dead Robin. Ribs broken and face beaten in by his own father, all Jason can concentrate on is the sensation of drying blood flaking on his skin. Delirious, he thinks, so this is what they meant about the killing rage the pit hands out. It is only by the thinnest of chances that nobody dies at all and that his senses remain a secret.

Reconciliation is hard earned. He never quite gets around to telling anyone about his new ‘gifts’. Let’s them think him much more observant and tactically sound then he really is. Learns to identify the joyful thwip of Dick’s grappling gun, the steady drumming of Tim’s fingers on a keyboard. Jason memorizes the smell of Alfred’s hugs, a mixture of silver polish and baked goods. Starts to categorize all the different ways Bruce’s eyes on him feel physically.

Life doesn’t stop when his revenge does either. Jason rents an apartment as his semi-permanent safe house. Consciously decides to make it a home and learns the art of the DIY renovation. Blackout curtains go up first, followed by a soft blue on the walls (Jason may be sensitive to light now but he still can’t stand total darkness). Sound proofing comes next. He’s had a few close calls when the upstairs neighbour blasted music a little too loud and had had to restrain himself from killing them. The lumpy mattress gets replaced with memory foam and new sheets at a ridiculously high silk thread count he can’t quite believe he shelled out for. Through trial and error he finds a laundry detergent that doesn’t make him nauseous and celebrates with all the loads he’d put off. He finds joy in cooking again, running through all the recipes Alfred had taught him and appreciating them more for the new way the flavours tasted on his tongue. To his chagrin, he also discovers he hates the lingering smell of cooked food in his apartment after he’s done eating. A range hood fixes that problem but causes a new one with the rattle of the fan. Sound cancelling headphones quickly become his new best friend. Piece by piece his little oasis comes together.

Eventually Jason learns to share his little home. Stilted conversations in door frames turn into invitations for a drink turn into semi-regular dinners. Family movie nights start happening before Jason realizes it, all of the Robins, former and current, curled up in his living room. In the top kitchen cupboard on the left, a shelf gets dedicated to popcorn seasonings. Extra throw blankets get added to the sofa after Tim makes a remark about never making it through a movie night because the blankets are too comfy. Dick will show up cheerfully demanding a brotherly talk but Jason has realized that with the strategic application of cereal he can avoid talking about his own emotions. Alfred visits regularly, brings his own tea and a new recipe for the two of them to try together. Alfred never leaves without remarking on how well Jason keeps his home (and Jason never fails to flush at the compliment). Strangely enough it is when Bruce comes knocking that Jason feels the most sure footed in his apartment. Invites Bruce in politely and goes through the motions of hosting. It baffles Bruce a little, to see the Red Hood so domestic but it soothes the part of him that sat up all night with Jaylad when he was sickly. Bruce, in his own way, makes it clear that Jason will always be part of the family no matter where he chooses to live.

This latest point of reconciliation couldn’t have been timed any better. Only a few days later Damian turns up on the doorstep of the Wayne Manor. Bruce brings him by the apartment to introduce Damian to Jason, hoping that the two most recent additions will at least get along better than Damian and Tim’s first shaky interaction. It goes a little too well. Damian, unused to the sensory nightmare that is Gotham, takes two steps into Jason’s apartment and demands to stay with his big brother. Jason, intimately aware of how uncomfortable the transition from the orderly League compound to Gotham was, is only too happy to see Damian too. It takes a whispered fight of yes, I knew him, and no, I didn’t know who his father was before Bruce eventually has to concede that Damian will at least be spending some time in Jason’s home. The split transition makes establishing a life in Gotham much easier for Damian than it was for Jason. Jason can at least recognizes the signs of sensory overload, can guide Damian through it without the cruel methods of his former instructors. In caring for Damian, Jason comes to realize that he deserved worlds better than the torture disguised as teaching that he received. In preparing Damian to be a part of society, he realizes that he wants more out of life than being a controlled weapon too.

Jason waits, and he plans. After all, if he could design and execute a months’ long campaign to take over the Gotham underworld, surely he’s capable of getting a social life. He picks his first target with care, intending only to get used to being around people outside of scripted settings and his helmet. He chooses a small library two blocks from the apartment with an attached coffee shop, sets himself little goals for each day with the option to bail as soon as it becomes too much. In the span of two weeks he’s ready to move from using the library to sitting in the coffee shop. It’s a daunting task. The smell of the coffee beans, the hiss of the milk frother, and the quiet rumble of conversation prove to be too much for him on his first attempt. It’s as he’s leaving that a bright laugh floats above the din and stirs his curiosity. The next day has him right back at the coffee shop staring up at the chalk board menu. Sweat is starting to bead on his forehead and he could swear he can feel the vibrations of the coffee grinder on his skin. He is just about getting ready to leave when he hears the laugh again. Turns around and the owner of it is standing right behind him (how did she get so close without him noticing?!) beaming up at him.

And oh.

#jason todd imagine #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd fic #jason todd x y/n #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood fic #sunnie writes 🌻#jason todd

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juyeonszn · 7 months

Text

SWEET

PAIRING lee juyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 4.61k

GENRES fluff ﹒ smut ﹒ minuscule bit of angst

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, boy next door/neighbor au, reader was in a toxic-ish relationship, juyo is so cute and so sweet, until he’s kinda 😵‍💫 yk?, um kevin and changmin appearances, reader being absolutely irrevocably impossibly down bad for juyeon’s hands, so hand kink lol, making out, vaginal fingering, cum eating…. lol, they get a little sappy at the end

SUMMARY maybe this was for the better. maybe it was okay to let your guard down every once in a while, so long as it was always for your flirty neighbor.

MORE i would like to apologize for putting this out a day late… um i was really busy preparing for my enhypen concert so 😭 not a lot of writing was happening since there wasn’t enough brain juice flowing. anyways. ENJOY <3 pls rb if u did! (ALSO THANK U REESE AND @sungbeam FOR BETAING AND EDITING <<<3 i love y’all sm)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri

If there was one thing you took pride in, it was your keen sense of hospitality.

You’d been raised as the type of girl to always be welcoming when a new face arrived, to be that guiding light for them as they adjusted to all the changes in their life. When you were little, your mother taught you to introduce yourself first, because you never knew if that person was shy or not. Of course, there was the usual ‘Stranger Danger’ pep talk, but it differed greatly from the new friend pep talk.

The first time you exhibited this wonderful trait of yours was in middle school when the foreign student in your class was forced to stand at the front of the room. He wasn’t necessarily shy, but you could tell he didn’t really enjoy being put on the spot, hands behind his back as he said his name and where he was from.

Kevin Moon. Age 13. Vancouver, Canada.

The only empty desk in the classroom was the one beside yours, and that was the golden opportunity to become best friends with the new kid. As soon as he settled into his seat and class had resumed as normal, you leaned over slightly and cupped a hand over your mouth to whisper loud enough that he could hear.

“Hi! I’m Y/N!”

He gave you a small smile in return and from then on, you and Kevin Moon were the best of friends.

The second time you proved your kindness was your freshman year of college. It was still syllabus week, but your professor had sent out an email over the weekend with papers that needed to be printed and brought to class. The guy next to you didn’t get the memo, freaking out over already messing things up on the first day.

You didn’t know him at all, but you felt bad that he was so stressed. In turn, you decided to rip up your own papers. He looked at you like you were crazy, maybe because you were. What idiot does something like that?

You give him a warm smile. “There. Now we’re both missing it.”

All he can do is laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m Changmin.”

“Y/N.”

After that, Ji Changmin came to be another one of your closest friends. It was kind of silly that something your mother instilled in you at a young age had become such a big part of your life. It brought you people who you’d cherish forever. But it also brought people you wish you’d never met.

“Get the fuck out.”

“Y/N, babe, we can work through this—”

“Are you deaf?” Your tone raises and your feet carry you to the front door, swinging it open. “I said to get out of my apartment.”

“We’ve been together for three years. You’re not gonna fight for us?” He pleads, clasping his hands as he stands in front of you.

“Why would I? Why should I stay with someone who doesn’t value me enough to stay loyal?” You seethe, your anger growing in size the longer you glare at his pathetic face. The face of a man you thought would love you until death did you part.

“She meant nothing to me!” He tries to rationalize with you, but you won’t have any of it. You weren’t stupid and you sure as hell weren’t blind.

“Do you take me as a fucking fool, Daehyun? I’ve known for months that you weren’t ‘working late at the office’. She even DMed me and showed me screenshots of your messages. Now get out before I call the cops.” You’re so pissed off that you don’t even realize you’re crying, fat tears trickling down your hot cheeks.

“After all I’ve done for you and all I’ve given you? You’re gonna act like a bitch?” He drops the innocent boyfriend act, backing you into the doorframe.

“Leave, Daehyun.” You say flatly. You’re not gonna give him the satisfaction of crumbling beneath the weight of his words. You knew the truth, you knew what kind of person he truly was after all this time.

He scoffs, grabbing his jacket off the hook beside him and finally storming out of your apartment. You cover your mouth with your hand to muffle the sobs that so badly want to escape. You watch as he bumps shoulders with a stranger holding a box, thankfully not looking back at you.

You make eye contact with said stranger, eyes wide like a child who’d just gotten caught with their hands in a cookie jar. His eyes resemble those of your friends’ when you told them you’d found out about your boyfriend’s infidelity. You both stand there for a moment, an impromptu staring contest ensuing.

Quickly, you snap out of your trance, cowering into your apartment. You vaguely remember the elderly woman across the hall mentioning that someone was moving into the unit beside yours. She had never told you a specific date, though. Had you known it was today, you might’ve expedited the dramatic break-up with Daehyun.

How could you possibly introduce yourself to him after he witnessed that? And in your current state; snot-nosed and teary-eyed? There was no way. You’d just have to postpone that for another day. Hopefully he didn’t mind too much.

“Was he cute?”

“Kevin, why is that what you’re worried about?” Changmin’s mouth pulls into a thin line, smacking the slightly older male over the back of the head. He winces, caressing the spot to ease the pain.

“I wasn’t really paying attention to that when I had just shoved my cheating ex boyfriend out of my apartment,” you push around the ramyeon on your plate with your chopsticks. “I do feel terrible that he had to see that though. But how can I face him after that?”

Kevin taps his chin with his index finger, lips pursed in thought. “Why don’t you bake for him? Welcome him to the complex like the hospitable neighbor you are.”

“That’s not a half bad idea, actually.” Changmin nods, shoveling some rice onto his spoon. The Pisces deadpans and reclines in his chair.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Okay, enough bickering you two. I need you to finish eating so I can start planning what to bake.”

The third time you practice your mother’s life lesson, is the next evening when you’re face-to-face with your neighbor’s door.

Your hands have begun to clam up beneath the warm tupperware of cookies you were holding. Were you supposed to just knock on his door like everything was fine and dandy? What if he wasn’t even home? Maybe you should just leave the baked goods with a note and—

The door swings open to reveal the stranger from a few days ago. However, this time he also wears that expression of shock, cat-like eyes widened. Your mouth moves like fish out of water, not sure what you should say or how you should say it. So you don’t think and you just act, extending the tupperware towards him.

“H-Hi, I’m Y/N, I’m your neighbor,” your speech is a little shaky, but you’re too nervous to focus on that. “I— um— I baked these for you as a housewarming gift to welcome you to the complex. As well as an apology for making you a bystander in my messy breakup.”

His features relax as a smile inches its way onto his face, graciously accepting the treats you made for him. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that. And don’t even worry about it, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“N-No, you’re fine, I swear! We shouldn’t have aired our dirty laundry so publicly like that. You did nothing wrong.” You wave your hands as if physically dismissing his words. He lets out a little chuckle that warms your chest.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m glad that you left the dude. He sounded like a total asshole,” your neighbor tucks the tupperware under his arm, leaning against the threshold of his apartment. “You seem too nice to settle for somebody like that. From what I’ve seen, of course.”

You don’t know why that has your heart skipping a beat like a high school girl. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that he really was cute. He had a boyish charm to him, but not so much so that it overpowered how handsome he was. Kevin was going to have a field day with this information.

“Uh, thank you. I should be getting back to my place now. I have an early day at work tomorrow. Have a good night!” You clear your throat to kick yourself out of whatever stupor you were about to fall into, bowing. As you’re turning on your heel to make the ten foot trip to your own apartment, he calls out your name.

“I’m Juyeon, by the way.” He grins, waving as you push open your door.

“Now that is quite the interesting development.” Kevin snorts, helping himself to one of the raspberry filled donuts you’d just finished baking.

“If you keep eating my product, I’m gonna have to kick you out of the kitchen and out of my bakery,” you chide, swatting his hands away from the baker’s rack. “And how is that interesting in the slightest? I literally gave him the cookies, apologized, and that was that.”

“He was literally flirting with you, Y/N. Changmin, tell her I’m right. Apparently I’m no longer a voice of reason here.” He says through a full mouth.

“I mean, yeah? Kinda? Calling a girl nice is usually guy code for ‘I think you’re attractive and I could see myself sleeping with you’,” Changmin shrugs, tearing off a piece of Kevin’s donut. “But I also see where you’re coming from. You did just meet each other. He could’ve just been trying to console you in a way.”

“Why am I even friends with men when they’re useless?” You throw your head back, speaking to no one in particular.

Perhaps Kevin truly was overthinking the situation. Juyeon seemed to be a kind person who probably didn’t want any problems with his neighbors. It made sense why he’d side with you after witnessing your break up. Besides, the wounds were still too fresh to even consider thinking of anyone else in such a way. No matter how hot they may be…

You’d just have to wait and see for yourself. Only time could tell what would become of the nature of your relationship with your cute new neighbor.

You look insane with everything in your cart, filled to the brim with baking ingredients. It was around 10 PM and here you were, at the grocery store buying the things needed to make cinnamon rolls. Being a baker with a bit of a sweet tooth meant your cravings got a little out of hand at times, forcing you to make drastic decisions. (I.E. grocery shopping so late at night.)

Even your clothing choice was silly: flimsy pajama shorts with Care Bears patterned on them, a baggy t-shirt, and matching slippers. It’s not like anyone cared anyway. And it wasn’t like you were trying to impress anybody either.

But as you’re walking towards the registers, you start to regret your outfit. You very quickly spot your neighbor with a basket on his arm, waiting in line for self-checkout. You feel all the color drain from your face as you stand there, staring like an absolute idiot.

He’s dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants, a hoodie swallowing his figure. He looks so effortlessly good, it kind of makes you upset. Because how are you just now meeting a guy who’s both kind and attractive? As far as you were concerned, they didn’t exist in real life— they only existed in fairytales.

Juyeon looks up from his phone and catches your eye, his hand coming up to give you a little wave and one of those crinkly eye smiles that he does when you pass each other in the hall.

As the weeks have passed, you’ve seen him more and more than you deemed normal. You’d bump into each other on the way to or from picking up your mail, you’d hold the elevator for the other in record time, and you’d even leave your apartments at the same time. Now it appears you’re running into the guy at the supermarket, too. You tried to chalk it all up to coincidence, that you just both happened to be thinking on the same wavelength.

But shyly waving back to him right now reminds you that divine intervention had crazy ways of working its magic. Perhaps those had all just been openings for you to engage in something more with your cute neighbor. And there was only one way to find out.

You psych yourself up as you walk towards him, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Juyeon’s smile grows wider as he notices you approaching. “Hey, stranger. What are you up to tonight?”

“Some late baking,” you giggle, wanting to punch yourself in the face for sounding like a goddamn school girl. “I was actually wondering if you’d like to come over and keep me company? Totally up to you of course! I just thought it might be nice to get to know each other properly.”

Your suggestion is what leads the two of you to meet back up at your apartment after purchasing your respective groceries. You attempt to tidy up as best you can while you wait for the knock at your door, setting out all the ingredients on the counter and preheating your oven.

The soft knock comes moments later and you find yourself practically running to open the door, grinning at the sheepish expression on Juyeon’s face. You allow him inside of your apartment, trailing after him into the kitchen. Part of you felt like you were moving on too fast after Daehyun. As a baker, your kitchen was your safe space. It was where you went when you needed to be alone and in the comfort of what you knew best. Kevin and Changmin were the only ones you trusted to be within that element. For you to let Juyeon in— to let him permeate the walls you’ve never let down before, not even with your ex— was brand new territory.

“I almost forgot you own a bakery,” Juyeon speaks up, fingers tracing along the stand mixer. “But seeing all this expensive equipment reminded me of that. It only makes sense that someone as sweet as you would constantly be around sweet treats.”

You fail to bite back your smile. Maybe this was for the better. Maybe it was okay to let your guard down every once in a while, so long as it was always for your flirty neighbor. He laughs when you nudge his shoulder, grabbing all the dry ingredients for the dough.

“On a scale of one to ten, how patient are you?” You ask, avoiding his eyes as you open the flour. The question was in regards to several things.

“I’d say about an eight or nine. Patience is a virtue, you know. It comes easily if you practice hard enough.” He answers, leaning against the counter and watching you.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in, searching for your measuring cups. Both you and Juyeon begin to measure out the dry ingredients, dumping them into the mixing bowl. You decide to let him take some of the reins, folding in the mixture of milk, egg, butter, and yeast. While he does that, you prepare the cinnamon sugar.

“I think I’m done. What do I do next?” He turns to you, head cocked to the side slightly. You might actually die of cuteness aggression. The duality of man would one day drive you to the brink of insanity.

“Now you just knead it until it’s smooth.” Your back is to him as you say this, putting away any refrigerated items so they don’t go bad. But as you face him again, you wish you hadn’t.

Your eyes zero in on his hands, kneading the dough with careful, nimble fingers. You feel light-headed as you slip into a spell, gawking at how long and slender they are, massaging the dough like an expert. How had you never noticed how big and pretty his hands were?

Maybe baking with Juyeon was a bad idea. You could barely focus on anything but his fingers pressing the under-construction-cinnamon rolls into the counter. Oh how badly you wanted to be that dough— his hands all over you, groping and massaging and kneading and caressing everywhere they could reach.

The veins running up his arms weren’t helping either, instead fueling the fire burning in the pit of your stomach. You feel your lips part, eyes glossed over with that all too familiar lustful intensity. You wouldn’t be surprised if you had to wipe away drool after this.

“Y/N?” Juyeon glances up from the dough, a little taken aback by your reverie. He follows your line of sight, grinning to himself smugly when he realizes what has you so transfixed. He’s finally found your weakness, and he couldn’t wait to dangle it over your head. Patience was a virtue, but perhaps it would be okay for him to dabble with a vice for once.

He pushes out the dough, using his thumbs to spread it into a rectangular shape. He feels his blood pressure rising the darker your eyes get. However, he’s aware that you just recently got out of a relationship. He wants to move at a pace you’re comfortable with. So he won’t take the first step. He has to leave that up to you.

It’s at a certain point that you come to, blinking to force away the dirty thoughts plaguing your mind. You travel your field of vision to his face, where you find him already looking at you. Your cheeks heat up in mortification from being caught red-handed. You were just gawking at the poor guy’s like they were a piece of fresh meat. This was terrible.

You swallow thickly, averting eye contact to grab the bowl of cinnamon sugar. “Uh, we can start forming the rolls now so they can rise. And then— um— and then we can make the glaze.”

The burn of his gaze on your profile has you tripping over your words, cinnamon sugar sprinkling onto the counter space surrounding and the knife almost slipping from your grip when you go to cut the dough. Juyeon catches it for you, wrapping his fingers around yours to guide your movements and keep them steady.

You feel his breath behind your ear, his chest pressed to your back. His hand is so much larger than your own, nearly covering it entirely. He doesn’t make an effort to move either, rolling the dough into swirl shapes along with you. The whole time this is happening, neither of you are saying a word, letting the silence consume you and the air around you.

As the rolls are rising/baking, you set up everything necessary for making the icing. Juyeon watches with hearts in his eyes as you whisk the sugar, cream cheese, vanilla, and butter in a separate bowl. He wonders how many other people you let see you in this setting. How many people get to see you do the thing you love so dearly?

“I’d like to visit your bakery sometime, if you wouldn’t mind,” Juyeon suddenly says, resting his elbows on the counter as you taste test the icing. “I wanna try all of the desserts you bake.”

“I’m opening later tomorrow morning actually,” you smile, humming in appreciation when the sweetness of the glaze hits your taste buds. “You can come with me to try the fresh batches before I put them out? I’ll warn you though, I get there at like six.”

“AM?” His eyes practically pop out of their sockets.

“Yes, AM.” You laugh, lightly shoving him backwards.

“I’ll put like ten alarms so I can make sure I’m up in time, then.” He pokes his cheek with his tongue, tipping his head to the side. The goofy smile on your face remains even after minutes have passed and the two of you are just waiting for the cinnamon rolls to finish baking.

It feels like hours have gone by with the two of you standing there when they’re finally ready. The ding of the oven has you springing into action, putting on some oven mitts and taking out the baking sheet. Juyeon's eyes light up and even though you’d just been losing your mind over how insane he was making you, you find yourself cooing at him.

He laughs as you grab a couple spare icing bags for the cinnamon roll glaze, filling them generously. You hand one over to him and decide to split the rolls evenly, icing one half yourself while he does the other. And for once, you think that tonight might end normally. You think that nothing eventful will happen and you’ll just ice the cinnamon rolls without problems.

But you were wrong, like always.

“Ah, shit—”

You glance up from the roll you were glazing to see what the fuss was about. Juyeon’s icing bag tore somehow, the sticky topping getting all over his hand. Truly, you were no better than a man, with the filthy thoughts inhabiting your brain almost instantaneously.

He brings his hand up to his mouth, licking the glaze off the back of his hand and wrapping his lips around his thumb. You felt dizzy, drunk on the sight of your extremely attractive neighbor doing something so sensual without even trying to. You bite your lip, accidentally dropping your own icing bag due to lack of attention.

Juyeon smirks slightly, relishing in the way it takes absolutely nothing to hypnotize you with his hands alone. He really tried to keep himself contained. He really wanted you to extend the first olive branch, but he knows you’re apprehensive. So just this once, he tells himself that it’s okay to initiate, to give you a little push in the right direction.

He takes a step closer to you, caging you against the counter. You stare up at him with wide, doe eyes, as if you were completely innocent despite the naughty images flashing behind them. Juyeon brings his thumb up to your lips, the pad of it still covered in icing.

“Think you could clean this up for me?” He asks, voice low and husky. You could actually combust with that all on its own.

Just like your formal introduction, you don’t give yourself the time to think, and act, instead, running your tongue along the length of his thumb. Juyeon doesn’t restrain the groan in the back of his throat, holding your face in his hands and pulling you in for a kiss.

You reciprocate immediately, fisting his hoodie like it was the only thing capable of stabilizing you. Maybe it was, with the way Juyeon’s lips synchronized with yours and his fingers tangled in your hair. You thought the ground would swallow you whole and wake you up from this dream. On what planet did someone like Lee Juyeon like a girl like you?

His hands slide down your body, groping everything in their path desperately before cupping under your thighs and lifting you onto the counter. He knocks the baking sheet of cinnamon rolls out of the way, palms rubbing up and down the sides of your legs. You want more, so much more, but you’re afraid to ask. You’re afraid to start something you’re not even sure you can emotionally handle.

Juyeon senses your hesitation, detaching from you momentarily. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want. I understand if you still need time.”

“N-No, I want this— I want you— I'm just… scared.” You breathe, your forehead using his shoulder for support.

“I'm not him, Y/N. I can give you the world if you’d let me. I’d never do what he did to you, that’s a promise.” He holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger, kissing the crown of your head.

“Okay,” you nod, smiling up at him. “I trust you, Juyeon.”

You reconnect your lips as his fingers slip beneath your pajama shorts, toying with the waistband of your panties. His lips curl up when he feels you squirm, legs parting to make more room for him in the middle of them. You sigh, body shuddering when he drags his knuckle down your clothed slit.

Juyeon hooks his fingers into your shorts and underwear, hauling them down your legs. You place your hands behind you to brace yourself, a shiver trailing your spine when the cool air of your apartment hits your warm core. He groans again at the sight of you bare for him, using two fingers to spread your lower lips.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he swears, his thumb slowly circling your clit.

You whine, tossing your head back as he applies more pressure. Bit by bit, you begin to lose yourself to the pleasure of Juyeon’s gorgeous hands. Soon the stimulation on your clit amplifies when he adds another finger, thrusting it in and out of your entrance. He curls deep inside of you, like he was reaching for something he’d left.

One finger turns to two, and before you know it, Juyeon’s openly finger fucking you on the counter. He leans over your body to keep your lips together, kissing you sloppily while all his focus is on drawing you to the edge. You can almost taste it, your saccharine release in your field of vision now.

It’s a little embarrassing how quickly he was able to wind you up and trip you over the edge, but you feel too euphoric to care. You pause in your kiss to look down at his handy work. (No pun intended.) It makes your head feel foggy and your vision blurry to see his deft fingers fucking you open, veins bulging, like he’d done this many times before. Your hooded eyes follow them up his forearms, a whine escaping your lips.

A particular curl of his fingers and circle of his thumb have you clenching around him, creaming like you’d never had an orgasm in your life. He doesn’t slow his assault, bringing you down just to put you back up on that summit once again. The overstimulation has you cumming a second time in a matter of what felt like seconds, whimpers becoming voluminous moans.

Juyeon kisses you softly, gently pulling out his fingers to lick them clean like he did with the cinnamon roll glaze. A choked groan bubbles past your mouth, tossing an arm over your eyes. He laughs, towing you to the edge of the counter.

He brushes some stray hairs out of your face, moving your arm to smile dopily at you. “I hope you know I was being serious about the whole treating you better thing. If you’ll give me the chance.”

“I know. I told you I trust you, remember?” You nip at the inside of your cheek. His eyes crinkle up like they tend to do when he’s smiling so genuinely. It forces the wind out of you, because how could you ever get used to a sight so stunning?

“You’re so cute.” He laughs, kissing all around your face and smushing your cheeks together.

“Juyeon,” you mumble. “I’m half naked…”

“Even better,” he grins, pecking the tip of your nose. “Makes it that much easier to do all of the other things I wanna do to you.”

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz juyeon #tbz juyeon #lee juyeon x reader #lee juyeon smut #juyeon x reader #juyeon smut #juyeonszn #fawntober.2023🎃

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muddyorbsblr · 9 months

Text

let me hear you part 1: acting like a stranger

Series Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: Your world comes crashing down when you finally start feeling the full weight of the 'name curse' that was placed on a world a few years ago.

Pairing: Loki x Reader (eventually); Steve Rogers x Reader (briefly)

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: cheating (not Loki he would never); language; angst

Things to be aware of: pining…yearning…

The whole world considered it a bane, a devastation even, when a few years ago a sorceress from another realm walked through a portal and into your world and placed a curse upon everyone who inhabited it. No matter if they were human or otherwise, it touched everyone.

The curse? Only the people that irrevocably love you can say your name. People who have proven themselves deserving of your trust, regardless of your reciprocation. And once that trust was broken, your name would be erased from their mind completely.

They would know who you are and what you meant to them, but the blatant proof of their betrayal would be on display for the world, and yourself, to hear. Or in this case not hear. They would have no other name to call you by, and you would not be able to utter their name in turn. The curse would act as if it held your tongue captive if you attempted to do so.

Studios fell quiet. Chanted names in stadiums became player numbers and monikers. Offices became buzzing cubicles of people calling each other by their employee numbers.

Relationships were shattered.

But the way you saw it, it was a blessing. Because in its wake, a culture of unmitigated honesty was established. You watched how couples proudly said each other's names as a way to show the world, and to one another, that their devotion knew no bounds. They stayed loyal and true to one another and much as others would look upon them with a bitterness in their eyes for they no longer heard their names, seeing such couples brought a smile to your face.

Because you still constantly heard your name every day in the Avengers Compound from the lips of your boyfriend, the team's fearless leader, Steve Rogers. You two did away with your casual friendly nicknames for each other the day he walked into the kitchen one day and said "Good morning, Y/N." And you'd been inseparable since.

You were in such a blissful state that it seemed as if nothing could bring you down, and nothing outside your rose-tinted bubble could even barely register to you. Such as a briefly wandering eye whenever one of the new recruits walked by, the lingering touches, the excessive praise. You had no reason to doubt him, after all. He hadn't broken your trust. You would know if he had. Everyone would know if he had.

There was another that noticed it, however. Perhaps it was simply his keen observational skills and his predilection for gathering and storing away potentially scandalous intel for a rainy day. Or perhaps it was that he'd consistently butted heads with the Captain due to their clashing personalities and beliefs. Or perhaps it was that he so deeply coveted something that Rogers had.

Perhaps it was that Loki had fallen so irretrievably in love with you that he'd shocked even himself a few weeks after you'd begun your relationship with the ridiculously star-spangled spandex clad soldier, and he found himself needing to hold his tongue from uttering your name when he was simply bidding you goodbye after a successful mission in Beirut. He could feel every ounce of blood in him turn to ice as he waited for you to start making your way to Rogers' apartment before he attempted to whisper your name into the dark.

Since that night five months ago, he'd given into the fantasy that every time he called you 'little mortal' or 'darling' that he was truly calling you by your name. And that perhaps if you listened closely enough, beyond the words he uttered, you could hear his heart calling out to you.

Much like it was doing now as the god walked into the kitchen area of the compound and found you on your lonesome, nursing a cup of coffee. "Good morning, little mortal."

You looked up from your handheld library, giving him a smile made even more brilliant with the way the rays of morning sunlight struck you at just the right angle. It had his mind racing down a dangerous path. One where he imagined how you would look illuminated by the sun in the halls of Asgard, dressed in robes set in his colors as you walked hand in hand so that he may introduce you to his mother.

"Good morning, Mischief." You raised your cup in his direction. "There's about half a pot left. Better hurry before your brother gets a whiff of it."

"No Captain today?" he queried as he poured out his own cup before occupying the seat next to yours, fighting against the urge to lean in closer to you.

"Nah, he's out on a solo recon mission Downtown. Pulled an all-nighter. Should be back soon."

The cheery tone in your answer and the information you imparted simultaneously had chills running through his body and made his ache to hold you that much worse. You deserved to have someone comfort you through what was coming.

"Darling…there was no reconnaissance mission last night," he told you slowly, trying to keep his tone even despite the rage that was steadily building in him. How could Rogers have done this to you? You, that greeted him with the brightest smile of all ready with an embrace and a kiss whenever he'd return from legitimate missions.

That sat dutifully by his side in the medical wing whenever he'd return with injuries that couldn't be slept off so easily despite his enhanced physique. Even if you had to sleep in uncomfortable positions that had you wincing the next morning from the aches throughout your body, you took it all without complaint.

Dread had settled into the pit of Loki's stomach as the smile dropped from your face, the seeds of doubt beginning to creep in to your features. Doubt that he surmised was pointed both at Rogers as you questioned the validity of this 'mission', and at himself for even planting the idea in your head.

"Mischief, what are you implying?" You'd placed your device face down on the counter, lacing your fingers together in a tight grip as if you were trying to hold yourself back from saying or doing anything too rash.

"I'm simply saying that as of last night, there were no missions on our side of the board. At least any reconnaissance missions that only needed an Avenger."

"That's impossible," you breathed out, the smile on your face looking more forced than when he first saw you just moments ago. The sight of the evident strain in your eyes filled him with the bitter taste of guilt. "Maybe you just didn't see it."

"Are you insinuating I've made an error?" he prodded you in a jesting tone, attempting to alleviate even a fraction of the tension that he'd started to see creeping into your system.

You shrugged at him, the smile warring with a grimace and contorting your features in a way that physically pained him to see. "I'm just saying maybe there's a first time for everything, I don't know…" The clear uncertainty in your tone had Loki physically aching to hold you. To assure you that no matter what happened, you would not have to face your impending heartbreak alone. That you had him.

He was seconds away from reaching for your hand when the near soundless footsteps of the Widow walking toward you gave you something else to focus on. "Morning, babes." She walked over and pulled you in for a quick embrace and pecked a kiss to your cheek. "What's with the gloom and doom? America's Ass fall asleep on you too quick? You frustrated? I know a guy that can get you some toys to help--"

"No no, babes. Nothing like that," you answered with a bit too much snap in your tone and the way that you shook your head. As if you were trying to physically shake the denial off of you. "Just a solo recon mission Downtown. I miss him is all."

"What recon mission?"

He heard your pulse quicken, the fragile skin of your neck moving frantically with the beat of your heart. "The…the one that came up last night. Downtown. The solo mission," you repeated. Your voice had become smaller, your doubt and lack of confidence seeping in to every syllable you uttered and worsening the ache in the god's heart, every nerve in his body screaming to wrap you in his arms to keep you from falling apart.

The Widow's expression began to mirror the rage he was fighting to keep at bay, the corner of her jaw twitching as if she was holding back from hunting down the traitorous Rogers. "I didn't see any recon missions on our board last night, babes. On any board, actually." The sound of the doors to the common area bursting open called everyone's attention, the sounds of Rogers' motorbike engine powering down making you sit up straighter, as if you were on guard.

"Listen I'm sure this'll all be cleared up when he gets here," you stated with an evidently plastered on confidence, back straight and ready to greet the soldier as he walked into the common area with an obvious unease about him as well. Eyes scanning the room frantically until he met yours. "How was the mission?"

"Same old same old. Just another Tuesday," the blond exhaled, relief seeming to take over his features as he made his way to you and proceeded to pull you towards him for a kiss that looked to be more possessive and harsh than perhaps even he intended. It made the god that still sat mere feet away from you begin to taste bile in the back of his throat from just witnessing it, and made his ears twitch at the sound of your wincing from the force of the impact. "I'm just happy to be back home and see you again, angel face."

Whatever hope still illuminated your face shattered at the mention of the nickname; anyone watching even from a distance could see how the light significantly dimmed in your eyes and the sheer strength it was taking for you to keep your smile from fading. "Wh…What's with the nickname? You haven't called me that in months."

Rogers shoulders were practically made of tightly coiled wire as he rubbed his neck trying to ease some tension that had made its presence felt while he walked to the coffee pot. "I just think it might be making everyone a little sick of us if we keep using it, you know? Rubs in the loneliness more than we need to."

Your face contorted into a pained expression that Loki never wished to see again. It was as if he could see your heart shattering in real time. "You're not making any sense. Why are you acting like this, St--" When your voice fell muffled at the attempt to say his name darkness fell over your features. Suddenly regardless of the harsh light of the morning washing over the floor, it was as if that light didn't dare touch you. Afraid you would snuff it out if it even got too close.

"You fucking idiot," Romanoff seethed, squaring her shoulders and approaching the soldier with pure murder in her eyes. "Don't even try to deny it. The look on her face says it all."

"Hey hey wait a minute what's going on here? Sun's barely up and we have an assassin ready to commit murder on the kitchen floor?" The Winter Soldier had walked into the area ready to defend his best friend at a drop of a hat until he spotted you, hunched over in your seat with your arms around yourself as if you were physically trying to hold yourself together. Or make yourself smaller. "What's wrong, little doll? Why the tears?"

"I ca--" you choked out, fat tears falling from your lashes and darkening the fabric of your pajama bottoms. "I can't say his name."

The expression on Barnes' face eerily mirrored the Widow's when he looked up at the blond super soldier. "Make that two assassins ready to commit murder," he seethed, glowering at his friend. "We were raised better than this, you goddamn punk. If your mother were here she'd make sure her pots and pans held an indent of your stupid face for what you just did."

"I didn't do anything!" he lied through his teeth, jerking his hands up as if in surrender.

"Then say my name," you said simply, a coldness taking over your demeanor as you stood and approached them. "If you didn't do anything, and whatever's happening between us right now is my fault? Say my name."

"You're putting too much faith in that curse, come on! It's me! Angel face please--"

"You can't say it, can you?" To an untrained eye, with your back facing them, you seemed the picture of cold calmness, as if you were simply being informed that your contract had been terminated and now you were simply settling mere semantics because of protocols. But if they looked close enough then they would find the violently shaking hand, hear the tremble in your voice as you spoke. Your shortness of breath as if you were fighting with all your strength for every inhale. "You can't…because you don't know it anymore."

"Of course I know it!" You tilted your head ever so slightly, as if telling him you'd wait until he could prove it. Instead the buffoon looked around at his friends' faces as if in expectation of a defense from one of them. The defense never came, and the hideous truth of what he'd done made quick work to deal its consequences devoid of subjectiveness.

Your name had been wiped from his mind.

The sound of your hand clapping over your mouth, followed by a muffled sob, caused a part of Loki's heart to splinter. That sound may very well haunt him for the rest of his days. You turned to face him, your other hand clutching your stomach as if you were about to be sick. "You were right," you said with a squeak. "I'm sorry that I doubted you."

Your words squeezed violently at his heart, your name practically fighting to fly out of his mouth as you stood before him with your eyes drowning in the sorrow that Rogers' betrayal had wrought. "Little mortal," he said shakily, fingers twitching, aching, to reach for you. "You need not apologize you did nothing wrong--"

"So it was you," the soldier seethed, charging in this direction before Barnes blocked the way and pinned him in place with his metal arm. "You poisoned her mind against me, that's why she can't say my name anymore!"

"Then explain why you can't even remember it, you goddamn punk," the other soldier retorted, pressing his arm harder against the fidgeting blond. "This isn't her fault and it turns my stomach you even tried to blame the consequences of your dumbass decisions on anyone other than yourself. I'm embarrassed to know you right now." He pointed his other hand in your direction. "She's better than you will ever deserve. And you threw it all away because what? That junior agent batted her eyelashes at you? God damn it you're pathetic--"

"Serge," you broke through Barnes' tirade, brown pitying eyes with rage swimming just beneath the surface meeting yours. "Stop. Before you say something that brings you two to the end of the line."

"You didn't deserve this--"

"If you really wanna do something about it, Serge, keep that one away from his apartment for three hours." Your tone was deceptively calm, the only indicator of your pain was the slightest waver in your voice when you referred to your former lover. Then you turned to face Rogers, your stance mirroring that of when you were preparing yourself for battle. "All traces of me will be gone from your place by then…Captain."

You made your exit from the common area so swiftly that Loki nearly felt a gust of wind from your path. The monotonous chimes of the compound's AI affirming that it will sound an alarm when the three hours were finished followed shortly after a door slammed in the general direction of the Captain's residence. Your former lover let out a whiny disapproval at the sound. "She broke my door! Come on, you two, at least let me make sure she didn't throw a fit and trash my place!"

"You'll be fortunate if that is all she does, you insipid blubbering excuse of a man," the god seethed, storming toward him, conjuring a blade in his hands ready and more than willing to draw blood. "You fool. You had her. You had her and you threw her aside as if her fealty, her love, meant nothing to you."

"And what's it to you, puny god?" he spat out. "I suggest you back off before I call on Banner and ask him nicely to go green just for you."

"Yeah, sorry Cap but fat chance of that happening," the scientist's voice traveled throughout the kitchen area. "I heard enough to know who's side the kids will be taking in the divorce and it's looking a little bleak for you."

"Honestly we should start calling you America's Asshole from now on. Fucking hell I can't believe you had the sheer audacity to take a relationship where you can actually say each other's names and you shit on it for what? Little Miss Tinkerbell with the perky tits and the Oh Captain you're so big and strong bullshit?" The kitchen became more crowded as Stark entered the area, joining in on the imposition. "You do know that she tried it with Point Break, too? The only difference between you and him is that he's loyal to Lady Thunder at an immovable level. He would never be caught dead doing what you just did to your ex."

"Please, she's not--"

"If you honestly think that she's gonna be anything other than done with you after this, then you need to sign yourself up for stand-up comedy because I didn't know you had jokes, Captain," Stark cut him off, his tone dripping with disgust that he was trying so hard to pass off as merely sarcasm.

"She just needs time to come around." Despite the bravado that Rogers was trying to use as a crutch to put up a pitiful confident front, his voice faltered. As if he knew that this truly was the last that he would be hearing from you in any remotely romantic sense. As if he knew that he had lost you.

And deservedly so.

The faint sound of drawers banging shut had Loki fighting back a smirk. Yes, my darling Y/N, he thought to himself. Don't fight your rage. Let it flow through you. You need not hold it in any longer.

"That's assuming she doesn't make a complete mess of our home first."

"When will it register in your impossibly dense skull, Captain, that you have squandered your chance with her? You no longer share a home with her. She is erasing herself from your life as effectively as you have wiped her name from your mind the moment you gave in to the attempts of that would-be temptress." To even think that anyone would look elsewhere when they already had you was truly baffling and infuriating to the god, causing him to grip his blade even tighter.

"You know what, blue boy, you're really starting to get on my nerves," Rogers seethed, starting to surge forward only to once again be thwarted in his attempts by Barnes' metal arm. "This is none of your business. I bet you haven't even known the honor of getting to say someone's name since this curse started, so save your high horse act for someone who'll be stupid enough to buy it. You keep talking about how I threw my chance away, well at least I had a chance. Which is more than I can say for the likes of you."

Loki gritted his teeth, charging foward and poising the tip of his blade an inch away from the adultering Captain's chest. "The only reason I hold back now…the only reason I'm not driving this blade through your heart? The only reason that you're still breathing is that your untimely yet arguably warranted demise would still devastate Y/N."

The mention of your name had everyone's gaze turn sharply toward Loki, who'd chosen to stash his blade away back in his pocket dimension. Shock overtook their features as he turned away from them and took off in the direction of Rogers' apartment. He had more pressing matters to attend to. He could give your former lover grief any time he wished, but right this moment his priority was ensuring that you were alright.

Reassuring you that no matter how dismal things seemed, that you would not be navigating your betrayal alone. That you had him. Even if you knew not the magnitude of how you had him.

A/N: So…welcome to yet another series that happened because I got inspired by a TikTok POV🥴 I can't wait for y'all to see what I have in store for this! And if you're ready to throw the nearest heavy object at Rogers, trust me there's a line and Loki's at the very start of it

‘everything’ taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki angst #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfiction #mcu fanfic #let me hear you #muddyorbs writes

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shu-glue · 10 months

Text

devilspawn!

alhaitham x gn!reader

wherein Alhaitham, despite being deeply and irrevocably in love with you, thinks it's rather immature to be picking fights with a child whose age hasn't even reached double digits yet. until he meets said child himself. notes: gn!reader, written in lowercase, reader is implied to be the traveler but can be read otherwise, alhaitham is whipped for reader, reader hates timmie so if you adore the kid i'm very sorry, two curse words (reader says ass and alhaitham mentally says little shit)

alhaitham loves you a lot. he really does. he rarely ever says the three magic words, and for the most part, it's fine on your end because he expresses his deep affection for you through his actions.

sometimes, he'll say 'i love you' through quiet but powerful hugs after he comes home from a long, grueling day in the Akademiya. other times, he'll whisper 'i love you' as he hands you a small trinket or even a book you've mentioned in passing, one he bought just earlier when he saw said item in a stall while on an assignment. he'll call you 'beloved' through massaging your shoulders after training, and he'll tell you how much he adores you through the many times you spent basking in each other's presence in comfortable silence.

he'll walk with you to the ends of the Teyvat if it means staying by your side, however…

"love," alhaitham shakes his head, "you're a… fully grown adult. the one you want to 'crush under the heavy hand that is loss', is a child. my love, a child."

now, alhaitham is no stranger to the game that is TCG, Genius Invocation, the Card Game. the only times he, kaveh, tighnari, and cyno will meet up are when they're all free, fancying a drink, and cyno wants to try out another new card he has recently obtained.

in all honesty, your partner couldn't for the life of him understand the hype about this card game. he was by no means an amateur - he has won enough games to be considered an official TCG player, despite only borrowing decks from kaveh, and he is the only one able to actually last more than 5 rounds against cyno in a single session at lambad's.

he knows how to play, he just does not see the need to play so obsessively, nor blow off money for special cards he'll only use in a few given instances of his life (if he even utters this line of thought out loud around cyno, he'll have a spear stuck on his back for the rest of the day).

however, you - his lover, his partner, the only person reserved for the ring in his pocket - love TCG, and as the loving boyfriend he is, he tries to keep his opinion of the game to himself; he'd rather have a giant spear in his back than see you sad and pouting as you shuffle through your beloved deck of cards. he should know, he's made the mistake once and it took him a couple of padisarah pudding servings to cheer you up.

alhaitham loves you, and if you like this card game, he will certainly make sure you're happy every duel or match you do. he just can't wrap his head around why you're setting off to the bridge that leads to the entrance of mondstadt city, deadset on making a something years old child cry from defeat.

"alhaitham, baby, you don't understand," you argued, "that child is my mortal enemy, my lifetime arch-nemesis, and a pain in my ass."

"yes, darling, but consider: you have many more potential TCG friends who would make better rivals than some random kid." alhaitham rubs his forehead, completely exasperated if it weren't for the adorable way you're marching ahead in front of him like a goofy soldier going into war.

you only spin around just at the mouth of the bridge, your hands on your hips as you stare up at alhaitham with a pout on your face and a raised eyebrow. "you think i'm being irrational, aren't you?"

alhaitham raises an eyebrow back as he continues walking. "not necessarily, my love, however - "

there's something about being hit in the face with multiple fluttering wings and feathers unexpectedly, that can render even the most stoic of men like alhaitham utterly lost and speechless. is it the pure shock? the pain of not really fluffy appendages hitting their face? well, it's when the haze of birds - pigeons? - finally clear, alhaitham is greeted by the displeased and outright sour expression of the one he can only assume to be timmie, your 'sworn enemy'.

"what are you doing?!" said boy screeched. "you scared my pigeons away!"

alhaitham could only blink owlishly at the dirty blond haired boy, looking around to see a bunch of pigeons flying away, leaving a trail of feathers in their wake. granted, despite all the horror stories you told him about timmie, alhaitham's rational enough to be patient with timmie.

"i'm sorry, but I don't think I have control over that, kid." alhaitham tilts his head down to look at timmie. "if you feed your pigeons in the middle of the road, especially a bridge with exactly two exit and entry points, your pigeons will surely—"

"no, my mama always said that if you're a person with a pure heart, the animals won't be afraid of you." timmie turned his nose up and stuck his tongue out at alhaitham. "that's why my pigeons like me, and not you, you meanie!"

alhaitham had to reel himself back to take in the ridiculous logic, the gears in his head turning to come up with an explanation. "no," he shakes his head as if it's hurting, "birds and all animals for that matter don't know the concept of morality, thus they have no sense of right and wrong as humans do. the only reason the pigeons run away from others and stay with you is because you're feeding them, creating a dependent relationshi—"

"blah blah, why should i listen to an old man with graying hair?"

said (old) man with gray(ing) hair visibly reels back, flabbergasted. he's not so much offended as he is shocked at timmie's attitude. he wanted to say 'no, he's not old', 'his gray hair is a natural phenomenon because of genetics', and, 'listen here you little shit'.

"see?" you commented from the sideline, arms crossed. "devilspawn."

"ARGH!" timmie shouts, pointing an accusing finger at you. "you again?! stop scaring my pigeons away!"

"i keep telling you, there's nothing i can do about that!" you shout back, bickering with the small child as if you were about to lunge at him.

alhaitham looks back and forth between the two of you, mentally wondering if he was dating and courting someone of the immature type (doesn't mind it solely, because it's you). when he moves to calm you down so the both of you can finally head into mondstadt city to look for marjorie, timmie says:

"maybe my pigeons don't like you because you look like an ugly cow!"

oh boy. no good. no, no good, alhaitham won't tolerate that.

alhaitham loves you a lot. he really does. he rarely ever says the three magic words, and for the most part, it's fine on your end because he expresses his deep affection for you through his actions.

and if it means making a little boy cry at a simple card game to protect your dignity, then so be it.

"beloved. if you would so kindly let me borrow your cards."

"wha—?"

"beloved."

this is just a silly drabble i thought of a lot of days ago and no, it's not proofread AHAHA. i have been so inactive lately and i apologize for that, school has been hectic and i was busy with college applications to boot. but now, i'm about to graduate so i should have some free time before i finally taste the college life ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ if y'all saw this post but with no tags you did not

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #al haitham x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham imagines #alhaitham imagins #shu writes

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stellar-skyy · 2 months

Text

WITH YOU— Wanderer x reader.

i. SUMMARY: Wanderer wakes up by his lover's side. ii. CONTENT WARNINGS: References to Wanderer's backstory. iii. NOTES: Fluff, established relationship, gn!reader, they/them pronouns used, 1.1k words. iv. A/N: Written for @ecrin-de-litterature's Kiss (don't tell) event! My matchup was @iceunhie!! Mhie!!! I hope you enjoy!! I'm sorry if this is ooc I am so unused to writing Wanderer ;-;

Every morning Wanderer wakes, he stares.

He can’t help it, truly. He’s always been an early riser, ever since he was a youth. Back then, when he rose from the pile of blankets on the floor he called a bed, it was always well before the other person occupying the house. The young boy—his brother, his family—was the opposite, and would rest until the sun slipped through the cracks under the door and right into his eyes. By then, Wanderer would have returned with a heaping of Lavender melons for breakfast, and they'd enjoy the morning together.

Even with the Fatui, who all woke before the crack of dawn to begin their duties, he was the first to get up. He was lucky enough to witness the horrors of the Knave before she’d drunk a cup of coffee, and the amusement of seeing sleep-deprived new recruits who hadn’t adjusted to the early schedule quite yet.

And now, when the place he lived was no longer empty, and he no longer needed to sleep lightly for fear of a knife to his throat, he still found himself waking with the sun.

The moment dawn began to break, he was already stirring. Within moments of blinking himself awake, he moves to seek out the warm presence by his side, pausing for a moment to watch them as they slept.

His eyes trace every inch of their face, until it was burned into his mind. Every detail; the slope of their nose, the delicate curl of their lashes, each mark on their skin. It would never fail to astound him, just how irrevocably human they were: from the veins tracing spiderwebs across their wrists to the slow thrum of their heartbeat.

He observes carefully, as each inhale of their breath brought their chest up and down. Their lips were just barely parted to let air through. He imagines them curling into that delightfully familiar smile, the one that sent shivers down his spine even after dozens upon dozens of times he’s witnessed it.

That smile could melt him, in a way no other human could. They were the exception to so many rules in his life, breaking past his resentment towards humanity and worming their way into where his heart would be, if he had one.

They were just so undeniably, disgustingly kind.

How else could he describe them, when they were the one to see him with all his sharp edges and still have enough patience to fall in love with him? What other words could he say, when they look upon him every day, knowing the horrors of his past and still having enough faith to believe he can become something good?

Kindness was a stranger to him. Cruel words, and ugly sneers were far more commonly thrown his way. They were a familiarity; a comfortable sort of pain, something easy to swallow.

That’s what no one tells you about being hated: eventually, it feels safe. Eventually there comes a point where you crave their fear, their disgust, like it’s the only thing keeping yourself whole. That’s when they say your name like it’s a curse, and you feel lucky to hear it at all.

‘Love’ is something else entirely. For the longest, love was a burden; love was what left you abandoned on the steps of the Shakkei Pavilion, or exiled from the only place you've ever called home.

But… he loved them. Gods, he loved them. And they loved him too, if the words they told him sleepily before they fell asleep were true. Love was terrifying; it was a feeling so human that he couldn’t possibly know how to handle it.

They began to shift in their sleep, face scrunching up minutely, before their eyes cracked open.

“You staring?” They say, their words slightly slurred with sleep.

Of course. “Of course not. I was just watching how you drool in your sleep. It looked so pathetic that I found myself in awe.”

“Mhm,” They yawn. “Tell me again how much you hate me.”

He hesitated, letting his mask crack for just a moment. “I don’t hate you.”

In terms of love confessions, it was pretty pathetic.

“Ever the romantic, aren’t you? I—” Another yawn cuts through whatever more they were going to say. They hum gently, shuffling closer to rest a head against his shoulder.

If he had a heart, it would be pounding. “Tch. Clingy, aren’t you?”

“I don’t see you pulling away.” They weren’t wrong. Absently, he moved to make himself more comfortable, sliding an arm around their waist and resting his chin on top of their head.

“I could hardly leave you alone, could I? Humans must truly be pitiful creatures, craving affection like they’d starve without it. What would you be without me?”

“Well, if I’m so pitiful, I might as well leave,” They huff, moving to detangle from the mess of sheets and limbs.

“No! Don’t go,” He blurts out, jolting forward to catch their wrist before they could move away. They blink at his sudden reaction, and he clears his throat awkwardly. “Not yet.”

“Okay,” they say easily, settling back into the bed. This time, Wanderer foregoes the aloofness and moves straight to lay his head on their chest with one ear pressed to where their heart beats.

“Okay. I won’t leave yet.”

That was what he was told, so many times. Every time in the past he heard it—from his mother, his friend, his brother—it was always a lie, but somehow, somehow he believed them when they said it.

“Don’t go…” He murmurs lowly, soft enough that they can barely catch it.

“I won’t,” they say into his hair, soft as a whisper. “I love you.”

I love you. The words were on the edge of his tongue, so close he could taste their sweetness. They were always there, lingering in the back of his throat like something he could never quite swallow down. They were the background of every moment he spent with them, day and night. They were the aftertaste of the dinner he cooked for them, they were the shape of the stitches he used when he mended their clothing; in every action he takes, three words he can’t bring himself to say.

“You don’t have to tell me you love me back,” They kiss the crown of his head. “I already know.”

But one day he’s going to say it back to them.

reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♡

#✒️ — writing #— kiss (don’t tell) !#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin wanderer x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact fluff #wanderer fluff #wanderer x gn reader #wanderer x gender neutral reader

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pinkie-pop · 7 months

Text

"We've Seen The Devil—He Was Hiding In The Mirror."

Part I Part II Part III Part IV

Featuring: Gender-Neutral Reader, Twisted Wonderland Various x Reader, Self-Aware AU, Yandere TWST

Synopsis: A promise as foolish as it is irrevocable. I hope you're happy with yourself. The real oath is made.

Word count: 3.1k

Includes: Drugging, magical branding, possessiveness, obsession, maggots/spider mention (briefly), murderous implications, manipulation

"You are no savior—nor purpose nor God. You are damnation—a phony and fraud."

--------------

You nearly jump out of your skin as your instincts propel you backwards—right into the arms of the one you should be running from.

"Y-Yuu! What...what's wrong with you?! You scared the life out of me…" Yuu chuckles, breath tickling the skin on your neck. They squeeze you a little tighter in their hold before finally releasing you. You stumble back, holding a hand to your chest as you try to calm your erratic heartbeat.

"Oh! Sorry, did I frighten you?" Are they seriously trying to feign ignorance right now? Your train of thought is interrupted as they bend down, picking up the books you were reading (when did you drop those?) and examining them closely. They make a show out of turning each over, even going so far as to blow non-existent dust off of the covers. "Didn't I say it was rude to go through another person's things? Really, to read a poor maiden's diary while they're away, how shameless…"

"Your 'diary' is very clearly addressed to me," you retort, unfazed by Yuu's theatrics. Their innocent demeanor melts away, an all-too-familiar smirk popping up in its place. "Why shouldn't I read it?"

"Aha, [Name] is so smart! You're right, it is addressed to you, and everything that is mine is yours. Even so, I recommend you don't go poking around in here."

"Well, why not?"

"Because…" Yuu looks away, a very uncharacteristic gesture. They mumble something incomprehensible, then snap their head back to you with a smile. "That's why!"

You stare at them, unimpressed. They stare back at you with such intensity you feel near forced to look away—lest you get swept up in their gaze. You want to ask them to repeat themselves, but you know by now that asking things directly will never yield you answers. You have no choice but to participate in their mind games.

"Well, if you don't want me to read it, perhaps you should have considered hiding it?"

"The Wraith doesn't work like that, I'm afraid." You hold your breath, praying for them to continue. To give you any information onthe innerworkings of the bizarre encampment you’ve found yourself in. Yuu flips through one of the books you had been holding and sighs. "You already know about Wraiths, don't you? Fine, I suppose I can indulge your curiosity, just a little. This Wraith—our Wraith—is intrinsically tied to the both of us. If you look for something here, you'll be sure to find it. Many of the books here store memories, and they can't be taken out. Hence why I can't just hide my diary from you." That's…valuable information. Far more valuable than you had been expecting.

You take a moment to dissect everything that you've just learned. Yuu waits patiently as you comb through the information. Every so often, you catch a glance from them. They never stop smiling, do they?

The place you're in now, the Wraith, is likely to be the second type mentioned in the book you had been reading. It's a place born from death, and it has a connection not just to you, but to Yuu as well. Does that mean that you're dead? What about Yuu? They first came here when they 'shut down', was that death? What about when you took their hand? What was that? Your head was starting to spin.

“Aw, I can see the cogs in your head turning; you must be thinking so hard!” Yuu’s cheerful voice annoys you, but you do your best to ignore them. “Do you want some help, little one? Do you want me to give you the answer?” Hesitantly, you peer back up at them, eyes full of suspicion.

“What’s the catch?” If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Night Raven, it’s that there’s always a catch.

“All I ask for is your attention,” they say. When you don’t respond, they add: “You don’t have to love me—just promise that you won’t leave. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you did.” There’s a hint of desperation in their voice, a panic that threatens to spill out of them growing louder with every second you remain silent. You don’t know what to say. What can you say?

Yuu steps closer to you.

“Promise me, okay? Promise that you won’t leave.” Their smile is gone, replaced with pure pleading as they press their body against yours. Their embrace used to feel like a python squeezing itself around you, like a spider encasing you in its web, but now, it’s different. Now it feels like the hug of a scared child. Their voice and body is shaking. Only a second ago, they were teasing you as if there was no tomorrow, now, they cling on to you as if you are the only thing left. The power between you two has shifted dramatically, causing you to wonder if their previous bravo was nothing more than a facade—a shield to hide their own feelings. You feel a little sorry for them.

“Okay. I won’t.”

“Do you promise?” They pull back to look at you, tears dotting their eyes. Your heart clenches at the sight. “I promise,” you say. In an instant, their tears are gone, replaced by a victorious smile as they drag you into yet another hug. Your heart drops, were they…tricking you? Were they only pretending to cry, just so you would feel pity and take their side? You are so wrapped up in these thoughts that you barely register the way they squeeze you tighter, tangling you in their arms like the tail of a python, like the web of a spider. You are so wrapped up that you do not even notice the prickling sensation on your wrist, as if you are being burned by something.

“So, what do you want to know?”

“I want to know about you. What…what are you, exactly?” Yuu ponders the question for a minute, then hands you a book, you read the page they’re pointing to.

Homunculus:

(Editor’s note: the following passage has no scientific backing and should be taken with a grain of salt.)

Literally “Little man”. A theoretical alchemical construct made to mimic human life. Technically biological, they are distinct from the Golem, which is made of non-organic material. This is often considered a moot pont, though, because homunculi are nothing more than fables…or so they say. The truth behind homunculi is far darker than what your textbooks would lead you to believe. In reality, homunculi can be created; they are not just theoretical. In fact, there have already been successful trials in their development. But, “why are you speaking of this in a book meant to be about ghosts?”, I hear you say. Well, my dear reader, that all comes down to how they’re made. As you likely know, alchemy is based upon the principal of equivalent exchange. So, how does one create a human body with alchemy, all while following the rule of exchange?

Well, my dear reader, it’s rather simple: you just need a human.

“You’re…a homunculus?” “No, sorry, wrong page.” They take the book back and flip to (presumably) the correct passage. "I was going to keep this from you, but you're just so cute, I can't help but bare my heart to you~" Yuu hands you the book again, then twirls around behind you, peeking at the page from over your shoulder. A bead of sweat runs down your back as you read the correct passage. You’d read it before, but scary stories are always scarier when the monster is standing behind you.

“Lonesome Ghosts”

“You read this one, right?” You nod, trying not to let your fright show. “Well, this poem is about a face stealer—you already figured that out, though, didn’t you? You also figured out which character is meant to represent me, right?” You can’t see them, but you can feel the grin on their breath.

“I was always…different from the other three. I don’t remember much from back then, but I do remember the weary glances the others would toss me from time to time. We didn’t get along, I think. Even so, I stuck around. Waiting for my purpose,” Yuu pauses, an unchracteristic tint of solemness in their voice. “I tried a bunch of different things, trying to spark a passion, but nothing ever worked. I was getting desperate, and ended up doing something unforgivable. The three cast me out, and I spent decades wandering the world, looking for my purpose. I never found it, so I thought I’d go back to the house, hoping time had taken the edge off our little squabble. That’s when I found them. A human in a coffin, whose lid was about to be blown off. Yuu.”

“It felt like I was seeing color for the very first time. Like I was alive. I had to have them—no, I had to be them. I had to take their skin and wear it as my own. I had to have what they did. And when I did, that was it. My purpose. What I had been waiting for all along. You.”

“My past washed away the second I entered their body. I became a blank slate with no past or history, but even so, I felt complete. The ghosts didn’t even recognize me when I came back, you know? I didn’t recognize them, either, though. I had forgotten everything. Maybe they did, too. But I didn’t forget forever. When I shut down and created the Wraith, my memories started to resurrface. You ruined me, you know? I lost everything when I met you. But, you know that I’m not angry about it, right? After all, the old me was broken. The old me didn’t have you. It was worthless. You gave me worth. It’s because of you that I’m anything at all.”

“You took away my entire being, and replaced it with something better. Just like you did with everyone else.”

Yuu’s words start to blur together as your eyes loose focus. It’s hard to tell what’s going on, and even harder to tell what’s causing it. You think, briefly, that you are having a panic attack, but it is hard to tell. Your breathing is rapid and shallow, and you feel as if the whole world has run out of air. You don’t notice yourself stumbling towards the door, but you do notice the way you trip over yourself. You notice the way you are falling to the ground in slow, agonizing motion. You do not react. You can’t. It is over all too soon.

You think you hear someone screaming, but you pay the voice no mind. You get up, not wasting any time to brush off, and begin to run. You do not quite know why you are running, your body is merely in autopilot, but you run, regardless, and you do not stop until you hit something.

You do not stop until you hit something with a thud!

It is Ace, you realize, mind finally beginning to clear up. You are on the ground outside of Ramshackle, the dirt is cold and wet beneath your bottom, and the air is sharp against your skin. Ace and others stand before you. They seem surprised. You are the same. Why are they here? To torment you? To catch you, once and for all?

They are getting closer, you realize with alarm. Azul is crying, but keeping his distance. Jamil is holding Kalim back from lunging at you. Rook is stalking closer to you. They’re all talking, but it is as if you have gone deaf. You cannot hear them. Your ears are ringing, your heart is pounding out of your chest.

Someone touches you, and the world goes black.

———

You wince at the incoming light as white fluorescents flood your vision. Your head feels as though it has been filled with water, an oddly calm sensation washing over you. You blink up at the white ceiling from your place underneath the white sheets, trying to put the pieces of what brought you here together.

“You’re awake,” Yuu says. Your body burns cold. That’s right, you remember it now. You had fainted earlier. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” you answer. There’s no reason to lie.

“We didn’t get to finish our conversation from earlier. Let’s talk, now that you’ve been calmed down.” Something about the way they phrased it sets you on edge, but you have no time to question them, as their voice cuts your thoughts short.

“You know, I was a little hurt when you tried to get rid of me. Sending me to school was just an excuse, wasn’t it?” “How did you…?”

“I’ve known all along. Remember, darling, no one knows you better than I do.” “If you knew it was an excuse then why did you go along with it?” “Because it was a request from you, dearest. How could I ever turn it down when it was you who asked it of me?” Your mind feels cluttered. Have they always been this heavy on the petnames?

"And the reason you came back?"

Yuu smiles. "I just missed you." You aren't sure whether or not you can believe them. Where do the lies start and end? How can you possibly trust them, when their motives are so unclear? As if there is cotton in your ears and eyes, you are disconnected from what is happening around you. You realize that Yuu is talking, but they sound so far away.

You are underwater, you try to listen, but bubbles fill your ears. You swim up to the surface, desperate, splashing and fighting against the tide.

You are on land. You have not left the infirmary, you realize. Yuu is still talking. They sound so far away, but you can hear them just fine.

“My body?” You have no idea what they're talking about. Yuu flashes a grin, seemingly aware of your predicament without you ever having to explain it. “Do you remember how you died, little one?"

What…?

"How I…died?"

"Yes, you've been dead for quite some time, actually. Dying is an unfortunate but necessary part of transmigration—that is, in relocating your soul."

"Then…my body right now is—"

"Artificial, yes. I had wanted to use one of the particularly irksome students as the equivalent for your body, but the system intervened. I could never get an NPC alone, either—the cast was always too jealou. They’d step in before I could so much as say hello.

All those alchemy classes you had me take really paid off in the end, you know? I had to take the long route, unfortunately. That’s alright, though, because I found a workaround. The solution was right beside me all along.”

"The ghosts," You murmur, trying to will yourself to be horrified. Perhaps you are simply tired, but you are far less unnerved about the situation as you should be.

Almost as if reading your mind, Yuu speaks up, “Sedatives,” they say, “for security.” You wonder what they could possibly mean by ‘security’, but they continue before you get the chance to ask. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier. You’re so much more compliant with these.” They stroke your cheek while gazing fondly at you. You feel as if maggots are writhing underneath your skin where they have touched you.

Your hands go numb.

You glance down at them, if only to make sure they’re still attached to your body, when you spot something on your wrist. A glowing symbol—two Triquetras placed together, with a dot in between.

“Ah, are you looking at our mark now, dear one?” Your blood freezes in your veins. “Our what?” Yuu raises their own arm, revealing the very same symbol on their wrist.

“It’s called a Serch Bythol, and it represents everlasting love.” There’s a giddiness to their voice that sets you on edge.

“When did you…?” “You promised yourself to me, don’t you remember? We’re practically married now,” Yuu says, kicking their feet with excitement. “The seal is made with alchemy, so you can’t remove it. That shouldn’t be a problem, though, right? After all, you have no reason to break your promise.” A chill runs up your spine. They marked you? You should be scared, but you feel little more than a vague sense of unease. Damn those drugs.

“What…what does the mark do?” “Are you sure you want to know that, darling? You aren’t looking so well…” Excuses, excuses. Anger bubbles beneath your sedated state; you can’t quite feel it, but you know it’s there. Every word coming from that wretched mouth is just another excuse.

“I’m fine,” you say through gritted teeth. “Tell me what it does—and stop calling me that.” Yuu sighs.

“When we made a pact, our souls bound together.”

“Meaning?” “Meaning that we’re now more in-tune with what the other is feeling. We can’t lie to or hurt one another other, either—physically, I mean.If you don’t believe me, then go ahead and try lying. You could attack me, too.”

You try lying, first, but your mouth stays firmly shut. You try again, but nothing happens. You try saying something that is almost true, but exaggerated. Still, no dice. Finally you decide to try saying something that’s true, but misleading, but Yuu starts talking before you can come up with anything.

“I know that you’re angry, but even so, aren’t you glad?”

“Glad? What could I possibly be glad about right now?” You think the sedatives are starting to wear off, as a freshly lit kind of rage sparks itself into your chest.

“Wouldn’t you rather I be honest with you?”

“I’d rather you do that without tricking me into it.” Yuu feigns a sigh.

“It could be worse, you know? This is nothing compared to what the others had planned.” Your first instinct is to assume they’re lying, exaggerating, or otherwise, but your tests from earlier prove your instincts wrong. “Do you want to know what they would have done, had the hunt never occurred?” You nod.

Yuu fills you in on everything. Every plan, every passing musing or idle comment. Everything. The things these people would have done, had the guilt of nearly killing you not gotten in the way…You almost feel grateful for the hunt—no, you do feel grateful. The fates they would have forced upon you, had you not almost died by their hands would have been far worse than death. Demons…They're demons! They cannot possibly be human! But…what does that make you? The ones who demons revere, the one who they worship as if they are God?

There is no longer any hiding from it, you know the answer. An odd sense of peace washes over you at the realization. You stand up, finally ready to confront your wayward worshippers.

You know what you are.

The devil sits upon heaven’s throne, and they are the ones who placed you there.

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sushisocks · 9 months

Text

Thinking about Lenny and Sean.

Thinking about how Sean, representing the liveliness and optimism of the gang, has to be unavailable in Colter, just so that we, upon arrival in Horseshoe & his return to the gang, can really remember Colter as a dour opposition to the light, fun, easiness that is Horseshoe Overlook.

Thinking about how Sean is the last to be introduced and the first to die; how he HAS to be the first to die, as the most light-hearted, easy-going, fun-loving one of them. Every camp after Clemens Point is decidedly more dour, less light, mirroring what they have lost with his death. Even the two parties are noticably different, from Sean's party in Horseshoe being genuinely fun and full of hope, to Jack's party, while starting as well as one could hope, being marred by anger and sorrow; fights, and sadness, and quiet. It ends in a storm which cuts the party off; sends everyone inside and to bed, where Sean literally stays up singing and drinking until light. The game is telling us that things are no longer the same, through the environment. Things have changed, irrevocably, and they will only get worse from here on out.

Sean dies at the game's halfway point; end of chapter 3 of 6. He is the first to die of the gang members we truly get to know. It is surprising and jarring and grotesque. The effect is IMMEDIATE, although subtle, but absolutely there. Sean dies, and the dread starts creeping in. His death is the underlining of Arthur's kidnapping; Arthur might be fine for now but that doesn't mean things aren't getting worse.

Then Lenny, who alongside Jack represents the future, and the gang's hope. Note how they're both acknowledged as exceedingly smart; Jack for his age, and Lenny just in general (though he is also young by everyone's standards), and that Hosea is fond of both of them. The critical difference is that Jack represents youthful innocence in a way Lenny doesn't; Lenny is fully aware of what the gang is, what it does, and why it exists. He is seen talking about and understanding the societal factors that have led him to this way of life; specifically pointing out the impact of slavery and its abolishment on his quality of life as a black man.

Lenny is the only one who can be seen challenging Dutch at an intellectual level. Lenny dies, and there's little rationale left in the gang. And we are immediately treated to watching the start of Dutch's more rapid decline in Guarma. Lenny is buried next to Hosea, the (arguably) oldest gang member, with the most experience to guide them. There goes the future and past of the gang; the only voices which arguably could've made a difference.

He is also, notably, the only death who is not given a cutscene. Blink and it's done, and you're left in shock and disbelief, watching Arthur stay until the last second to not let the youngest member of the gang die alone.

So what's my point here? Well, I think it's worth pointing out that these two, alongside Molly, are the ending notes of chapter 3,4, and 5, all setting the tone for the chapter to come. Each signify the further detoriation of the gang -- they lose something with each death; a life and gun, sure, but also what that person in part represented. Optimism, reasonability, compassion. And each death is brutal; sudden; jarring, in distinct ways. Then, at last, Arthur is the final death, at the end of chapter 6. The gang is already done, by that point.

I also in part think it's interesting that part of the reason Sean and Lenny die is their own flaws. Sean's easy-going inattentive nature leaves him wide open, too busy making a quick-witted quip to keep an eye out -- even when Arthur, the most senior member among them, makes it clear something is wrong, which SHOULD put one on guard in that situation. Lenny, who believes himself lucky and intelligent, also has a sense of arrogance and recklessness which has him running headfirst into danger without looking.

I love them a lot, but I think their survival inherently would mean a very different story from the one RDR2 is. Also think they absolutely would have sided with Arthur in the end, but those are both completely different rants I'll save for another time :'^)

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #sean macguire #lenny summers #teki talks #long post #IM BACK IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN AGAIN #its another late night rant i keep doing these #rdr thoughts

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mickeyswhore · 6 months

Text

Jealous of Him

Request: hi!! can i request jealous tommy shelby x best friend reader? nsfw is possible as well 💗💗 ps, i love ur writing

A/N: Thank you so much, Nonnie. I hope you enjoy this because it was great writing it. 🥰

Summary: When Tommy comes back from the war, he finds out that you're no longer single, he does not appreciate it at all.

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff

Your father has been friends with the Shelbys for years, you are five years younger than Tommy but that didn't stop the two of you from becoming friends. The only problem in your life? You are irrevocably in love with Thomas Shelby, and he doesn’t know, in fact he has referred to you as his ‘sister’ way too many times.

But you care about Tommy, if he found love with someone that wasn’t you, that relationship would be supported by you. Your father knew that you were in love with the Shelby brother but he tries not to intervene, the best he can do is incentivise you to find a boyfriend.

When the war came, you were the first person Thomas went to tell that he was getting drafted. You cried with him and he slept in your bedroom before leaving you without saying goodbye, that hurt way more than when you used to see Tommy with a woman, he left without saying goodbye. But that wasn’t the worst part, you sent letters as much as you could but Thomas never replied to any of them, you asked Polly if he wrote, she said that he did but nothing for you.

You were devastated, Thomas fully erased you from his life and you had no idea why. For months you were depressed and your father was worried about you, so he incentivised you to go out with your girlfriends to make you forget about Thomas but it was useless, as soon as you came home, you were still writing him letters hoping that he would finally reply, but he never did. Your father was on a mission now, finding you a boyfriend so you could put Thomas behind you as quick as possible. But he didn't have to do much, you found someone on your own.

You were walking back home from buying groceries, the bag was heavy but you kept walking.

“Miss, allow me to help please.” The man was much taller than you, he had dirty blonde hair and green eyes. You allowed him to take the bags and you smiled at him. “It would be a sin to allow a pretty lady like you to struggle with a heavy bag.” The two of you smiled and looked down, you were embarrassed by his comment and he was happy about the fact that he made you smile. “My name is Matthew, let me walk you home.” You nodded, and you introduced yourself.

“Thank you, Matthew.” That is how your relationship with Matthew has started.

It did wonders to your mental health, you finally stopped crying for Thomas and writing him letters. You found out that Matthew had one leg bigger than the other and that is why he wasn’t in the war. He made you smile, he was an orphan but he had a good job as a solicitor and his own home outside of the city. Matthew and your father got along very well, Matthew came to your house almost every day to have dinner with the two of you. He often says that he prefers to be in your apartment rather than his empty home.

Matthew was a godsend in your life, everyday you wake up and you thank God that he showed up in your life, but of course your feelings for Thomas didn't go away, they simply went dormant, but you were not concerned about that now.

-----------------------------------------

The war was over.

You were so happy that bloodshed was over, that all the men got to come home and move on with their lives. You had no idea what happened with Tommy and his brothers but you prayed for them every night that they got home alright. You and Matthew have been dating for six months, and everything was going great but now you knew that sooner or later you’d have to see Tommy again and made your heart skip a beat, you thought that you were over him but perhaps not.

You decided to go on about your day, try to forget the fact that Tommy was back. Matthew was coming to dinner today, so you decided to focus on that. You were making a roast dinner, it was Matthew’s favourite and you loved doing it. Things weren’t going your way, you were messing up the recipe, and having to start over but you had plenty of time. But the night that Tommy left was in the forefront of your mind, you wanted an explanation of why he cut you off his life completely.

The desert was almost finished when you heard someone at the door, you hoped that it wasn’t Matthew, you wanted to shower and get changed before seeing him. When you opened the door you were speechless, Tommy was right in front of you, after all these years. His whole demeanor was different, it looked as if he was a completely different man.

“What you’re doing here?” You didn't want sound so rude, but you were. He left and didn't even reply to a single letter and now he wants to waltz in your life?

“I wanted to see you.” His voice sent shivers down your spine, you hated the fact that he had that much effect on you when he basically abandoned you all those years ago. “May I come in?” You allowed him to enter and he had a smile on his face, and you hated it.

“Why do you want to see me?” You crossed your arms, you were fighting the urge to hug Tommy and he definitely noticed that. “You left that night without saying goodbye, you didn't reply to any of my letters, you made yourself pretty clear that you do not care about me, Thomas.” Ouch, Thomas…he visibly winced at you using his name, and not Tommy.

“I thought that I was going to die, I didn't want to make you even sadder.” You rolled your eyes, that was the worst excuse you could ever hear.

“You’d think that I wouldn’t mourn you if you died?” You yelled at him, and Tommy looked down.

You heard the door opening and it was your father, he looked surprised to see Tommy here.

“Tommy, you’re back.” Your father hugged him and Tommy hugged your father back. “Are you staying for dinner? I’m sure that Matthew won’t mind, will he sweetheart?” Thomas looked at you, and the only thing that was in his eyes were jealousy.

“Who’s Matthew?” He tried to hide his anger, he had no right to be jealous but he didn't care.

“My boyfriend.” You whispered, it felt as if you were embarrassed about your relationship.

“He is great, Tommy. You’ll meet him.” Your father patted him on the back and he simply nodded.

What you didn't know is that Thomas was madly in love with you, he was just too much of a pussy to admit it and now he lost you. But he wasn’t going to take this lying down, he was going to have you.

“May I speak with you in private, love?” He whispered to you and you simply nodded, and he followed you to your bedroom.

“What do you…” Tommy didn't let you finish your question.

“I love you, I’ve loved you from the first moment I’ve ever saw you.” You were speechless, but you were so angry at him.

“How could you say that? You abandoned me and now you’re jealous?” The two of you were getting closer and closer.

“I am jealous, because I’ve loved you all my life and now you’re with someone that’s not me.” Both of your breathing was hard, the two of you were looking into each other’s eyes.

He finally kissed you, and you kissed him back. His hand went to your hair and your arms went around his neck, your heart was bursting and the it felt as if everything was right in the world.

“Don’t be with him, be with me. Please?” Thomas asked you, what you were going to do now?

#thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby fanfic #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby smut #peaky blinders fanfic

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feelbokkie · 4 months

Text

What We Were

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

**Feelbokkie's 2,000 Follower event post**

genre: angst, all hurt/no comfort

pov: 2nd person

description: is it too late for chan to fix it? was it really a mistake?

pairing: chan x fem!reader

warnings: swearing

word count: 2,725

Part 1 & Part 2

"The twins are mad at you, you know. They saw you leave the party. Lix is especially pissed. He keeps going on and on about how he didn't even get a birthday hug from you." Hyunjin says once you open the

"They'll live," You mumble as you turn to the side, letting him into your apartment.

It's been two weeks since Jisung and Felix's spectacular birthday bash. It's been two weeks since Chan broke your heart. No, not just broke. He ripped out, stomped on, spat, body slammed, and ran over your heart all before setting it ablaze. The damage he's done to your psyche is irrevocable.

"You look like shit," He says as he flops down on your couch.

He's not wrong. You've stopped caring. You hardly leave your apartment, only for work. You don't have it in you to do much else. Not even eat or sleep. The dark circles under your eyes are a dead giveaway for that. Your hair is a mess, and having the day off from work meant you didn't have to leave. Or put effort into your appearance. And why would you when some girl is out there right now with Chan who is ten times better without even trying?

"Did you come over here just to insult me?" You cross your arms, regret over letting Hyunjin in quickly fills you.

"I came over here because you stormed out of the party and then radio silence. We have a bet going. Lino hyung was convinced I was going to find you dead on the floor or something. You're alive and...relatively well and I'm $120 richer." He kicks his legs up on your coffee table and leans back further into the couch.

"Good to know I'm worth $20 to you guys," You roll your eyes and head over to the kitchen. You go to your cabinet and head over to your fridge to get Hyunjin a glass of water.

"Actually," Hyunjin calls from the living room. "You're worth $40. I can make another $120 if you confirm that the reason you've been avoiding us is because of Chan hyung."

Ba dump

You freeze at the mention of Chan's name, nearly dropping the glass of water. You squeeze your eyes shut to try to settle your heart. You've been avoiding the rest of the boys to minimize your risk of running into Chan. And because you didn't want to have to deal with Felix or Jisung's whining for leaving the party early.

"Do you have any hobbies?" You ask annoyed.

"I paint and take pictures. I'm actually about to go to a pottery class after I'm done here. Care to join me?" Hyunjin comes up behind and takes the glass out of your hands.

"I'm good in my hovel, thank you very much."

"How about we go out to eat? I just got some money, we can go somewhere nice and talk." He walks further into the kitchen and rests his chin on your shoulder.

“If you mention that bet money one more time, I’ll you exactly what you can do with it.”

“You can’t scare me, I lived with Minho hyung for years.”

Knock, knock

You stare at the door, confused as to who it could be this time. You weren’t exactly expecting anyone earlier when Hyunjin stopped by. Even then, the list of people who could have dropped by is low. The list of people who would drop by completely unannounced is even lower. And one of them is already inside your apartment.

“Did you want me to answer that or…?”

“You really are a pain in my ass,” You grumble as you walk to the front door.

“It’s how I show my love.” Hyunjin follows you to the front door.

“I want to be loved less, thank you very much.” You turn to tell Hyunjin as your hand lands on the door knob and turns.

You watch as Hyunjin's smile slightly drops, staring behind you. You furrow your brows together as you turn to see who could have made him have that reaction.

ba dum

Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach when your eyes meet Chan's. Hyunjin must know something based on his reaction. He teases you about your crush on Chan often. He was the first one to figure it out. Or at least, he was the first one that you knew about. If Hyunjin came all the way over to your apartment to check on you and asked about Chan, then that means Chan must have started bringing his girlfriend over. And if he did, Hyunjin would have easily put two and two together.

"Oh," Chan's eyes shift between you and Hyunjin, "I...I just came here to talk. But you're busy so I'll just--"

"Actually, hyung," Hyunjin takes a quick look between the two of you. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head "I was just leaving. I was just in the neighborhood so...Yeah! Have fun you too."

"Hyunjin--" Before you could stop the younger man, he slips out behind Chan.

Note to self: figure out how to air fry a ferret. Lino should have some tips.

Chan stands awkwardly outside your apartment before leaning his way in. Your arm flies out in front of him, resting on the door frame.

"Are you sober this time? Wouldn't want you making another mistake." Your voice dripping with spite. Chan's sudden appearance quickly makes you see red all over again.

"C'mon, Y/n that's not really--"

"Christopher, I swear to god if the next word out of your mouth is 'fair,' I will lose my shit. Again,"

Chan winces at the use of his name. For as long as you've known him, you've only ever called him Chan or Chris. Never Christopher. It felt unnatural rolling off your tongue. Like it should have never been there in the first place like it doesn't belong. And yet, it somehow feels right.

"Can I please just come in so we can talk?" There's a tone in his voice you've never heard before. Desperation? Maybe, but it could be something else entirely. Either way, you don't necessarily like it.

You silently move out of the way, letting him in. You’re not exactly sure why you let him in. You’re pissed off, rightfully so. If anything, you should have just slammed the door in Chan’s face and gone about the rest of your day. Would you be guilty about it? Yes, absolutely. That’s still your best friend. But at least your heart wouldn’t be threatening to break your rib cage.

"How have you been?" He asks casually as if the tension that occupies your apartment is nonexistent.

"You said you wanted to talk, not make small talk." You cross your arms, bracing yourself for whatever conversation is about to happen.

"It's still talking,"

"Christopher," You say sternly.

"Okay, okay," He presses his lips together, making it a thin line.

You start to pace around in front of him, regretting letting him into the apartment. What could he possibly have to say to you? After all this time. If he had something to say, he would have said it that night.

If you gave him the chance.

"Chan, can you just say what you want to say and then leave before I pass out?" You say almost too quickly, getting annoyed.

He takes a deep breath, holding it for a second before finally letting it out. He opens his mouth to speak, only nothing comes out. He stares at you, mouth open and as empty as his soul. His bottom lip trembles, just like you are right now. You're both in hell and it's completely his fault.

"Christopher--"

"--I lied,"

Both of you are quiet and scared to move. Like something will break. Scratch that. Like something else will break. More specifically, like your already fractured relationship would crumble even more than it already has. Like it'll break beyond repair.

Badum

"What the hell do you mean you lied?" Your mouth twists with threat, your eyes squinting critically at him.

"I--I--" His mouth opens and closes like a fish. He looks at you like he's trying to find the words in your eyes. His own eyes glisten, tears welling up in them.

Badum. Badum.

"Bang Christopher Chan, what the fuck do you mean you lied?" You can feel your blood boiling in your skin and your face becoming red. You clench and unclench your fist, trying to calm yourself down. If you don't you might end up hitting him before you get to hear what he's lying about. Not that you want to hear anything else that he has to say.

Badum.

Because a part of you already knows what he lied about.

Badum.

And as much as it would make you happy if you're right.

Badum.

A large part of you would be furious.

Badum.

Livid that he even lied about it in the first place. That he would mess around with your feelings like that. That he would make you believe that sleeping with you--

"...wasn't a mistake," He says quietly, scared of how you'll react.

Badum.

"Wha...what?" You breathe, Chan's words taking your breath away.

Badum.

"I said, 'Sleeping with you wasn't a mistake.'" He says a little louder this time, making sure you heard him this time.

Badum.

"No, I heard you," You walk over to your dining table, resting on one of the chairs. You feel like the floor could collapse on you any second. You wish it would. Swallow you whole like the whale that ate Jonah. Only, you didn't want to come out in the end. "I mean, what do you mean that sleeping with me wasn't a mistake?"

Badum.

"I panicked at the party."

Badum. Badum.

"You panicked?"

Badum. Badum. Badum.

"I wasn't thinking,"

Clearly.

"You weren't thinking?"

Badum. Badum.

"Will you stop repeating everything I'm saying?" He snaps.

"Excuse me? You are getting mad at me? Right now? Seriously?" You grip the back of the chair, your knuckles are quickly turning white.

"Sorry, sorry, I just--" He stands up, quickly approaching you.

Creak

You quickly pull the chair out and put it in front of you, blocking Chan from approaching you further.

"Stay right there--Actually no, get the fuck out." You bite your lip to keep it from trembling. Tears begin to stab the back of your eyes.

Not now, do not break down right now.

"Let me expl--"

"No, I'm sick and tired of you fuck with me and my feelings, Chris! First, you flirt with me, non-stop. Then you sleep with me, while we were both drunk. And then you tell me that it was a mistake and now you're telling me that you lied about it being a mistake. I. Am. Tired."

"I am sorry, Y/n. I am, really. I just--" Again, he tries to walk to you only to be stopped by the chair.

"I am begging you to shut the fuck up and leave. I can't do this with you anymore. I--" Your voice cracks. Frustrated tears pour down your face.

Fuck.

"No! Just let me fucking talk before kicking me out! Let me explain before you settle on hating me!"

"There is nothing you could ever say to make me forgive you! Ever," He tries one more time to walk to you.

Bam

You throw the chair at Chan, frustrated by the overall situation. Chan jumps out of the way, narrowly missing the chair hitting him in the stomach.

"I was--"

"You were what? Going to say that you slept with me because deep down you wanted to and your intoxicated brain took over. But your sober brain took over when you realized what we did so you went and found some girl to distract from the fact that you fucked your best friend in the back of your car at some random party. And the only reason why you freaked out in the first place when you got caught is because you wanted to pretend like it didn't happen just in case I regretted it or something? And that you're actually in love with me but you're a coward."

"How did you...?" Chan frowns.

"I was your best friend. I used to be able to read you like a book," You rub your hands over your face, wiping away your tears. "Did I get the synopsis right?"

"Not...entirely," He runs his hand through his hair, making it messier than it already was. "I...wasn't exactly...drunk when I slept with you. Tipsy, yes, but I was the most sober I've ever been at a party."

"Great, so you slept with me and then immediately regretted it. Thanks, can you fuck off now?"

"I'm sorry, Y/n but--"

"What do you possibly think you could say to fix this right now?"

"I freaked out for nothing. I was wrong. I spent the past two weeks without you and they were hell. And that is completely my fault. I want to fix it. Please, let's fix this."

"Get. Out,"

"Can we just start over? Pretend that none of this happened and have a clean slate?"

"Because it's that simple." You laugh. Not because he was funny, but because he's that desperate.

"Please. I know I fucked up, but I don't know what I'll do without you in my life."

You squeeze your eyes shut, thinking for a moment. You slowly walk backward until your back rests against your door. You lean your head back, still thinking quietly. You slowly open your eyes. Chan's figure is blurry through your tears. You blink a few times to see clearly, hot tears rolling down your face.

"Chan," You croak. Your throat is dry and starting to hurt, "I like you. A lot. I love you even. Hell, I might even be in love with you, Chan. But I love myself a little more. I can't ever be with you. I would drive myself insane second-guessing your every action--"

You know that if you forgive Chan--if you pretend that the past two weeks didn't happen--you'd end up hating yourself. You could probably pretend, to live in blissful ignorance for a little bit before you wonder about every kiss. Waiting in hell for the other foot to drop. Waiting for him to tell you that it was all a mistake again.

That you're a mistake.

"Y/n, I promise--" Chan, once again, tries to approach you.

"--So for my sake, I need you to leave." You push yourself off the door and pull it open for Chan.

"Wait, let's talk about this a bit more. Y/n, please,"

"I can hardly stand to look at you right now. It hurts too much. Fuck, I can't even be friends with you right now. It's...it's best for the both of us if we just...stop."

"Please don't do this," He begs. You could only imagine that your face mirrors his. Red, swollen eyes and wet, splotchy face with a runny nose on top of it.

"Chan, you if you have any sort of feelings for me at all. If you love me, you'd realize that you're hurting me and leave." You say quietly.

Both you and Chan are quiet. Both of your sniffling is the only sound you can hear. Chan stares at you like he's trying to will you to change your mind telepathically. You wish you could. That you could say "fuck this" and abandon your dignity and just date your best friend. But you had a lot of time for self-reflection. You can only foresee your relationship ending in fire. Not the passionate kind but the red, hot, painful fire that would set your relationship ablaze and only leave behind a patch of ash in its wake.

Wordlessly, Chan nods to himself before walking past you. You watch as he leaves your apartment, not once turning back to face you. You watch as he climbs into the elevator. You watch as he turns around, only to press the button, refusing to make eye contact with you. He's leaving and all you can do is watch.

"Bye, Channie," You whisper to yourself as your eyes finally meet, just as the elevator doors shut. "I love you,"

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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spiceofvy · 5 months

Note

Hi! Can I please request relationship headcanons for BTS members with a non celebrity, female reader? Thank you ❤️

BTS - Dating a non celebrity

a/n: omg this is my first time writing about the vocal line, so i'm kinda nervous right now, but also i really like how this turned out, so i hope you enjoy it too! also i'm super sorry but i totally forgot that you asked for a fem!reader. the headcanons honestly wouldn't have been any different except for me using gendered language anyway. so i hope you still like it!

cws: sfw, gender neutral reader, fluff, nothing to note here tbh, except for one (1) slightly sexual line (hoseok ofc)

Seokjin: No matter how many prizes he wins, how much the newspapers praise him, at the end of the day the only compliments that matter to him are those coming from you. He wants to hear how much you love his voice, how good he looked, how amazed you were by his performance. He's only satisfied with his work when you declare how utterly and irrevocably in love you are with him. But don't worry, he will return all this love whenever he can, calling you the cutest nicknames, cooking for you whenever you want and believe me when I tell you that this man will show you off to everyone. He wants everyone to know how amazing you are and that you are his to love.

Hoseok: Hoseok sees his main goal in being your boyfriend and an idol in being able to spoil you rotten. Shirts from his favorite designers, tailored jeans to make sure that you legs always look perfect, the most expensive shoes you've ever worn. What's the point in being rich if he doesn't spend the money on you? And you really can't get him to stop, even if you make more money than him. He will still feel the need to spoil you. And of course drown you in compliments. Tracing his hands over your body as you try on some tight clothes, making sure they highlight all his favorite parts of you. Just to rip those clothes off of you at home later.

Yoongi: I know it's a cliche, but he writes love songs about you. And sad songs when he misses you on tour. And happy songs when he sees you sleep on the couch on the studio, feeling completely at peace with him. He just writes a lot of songs about you. You are his inspiration and his muse. Many of those songs never get released, they stay between the two of you, shared during emotional moments, followed by soft talking and sweet kisses. You are also Holly's co-parent. And in almost every photo Yoongi has in his Holly-Journal. He doesn't mind keeping you away from the public, unless it's about the basketball games he gets invited to, especially if you also love the game. He is pretty sad about not being able to also share this passion of his with you.

Namjoon: He is obsessed with your normal day to day life. Which he honestly misses a lot. Please tell him about your run to the grocery store, how overrun the subway was, the cute dog you saw today. He loves to hear about it all and will never get tired of hearing you talk about your day. He sometimes just wants to take you on walks through the city, but due to his popularity it's really hard. So he just schedules those walks to the night, when it's raining and the streets are empty. He also low key posts you on his insta. He is the king of soft launching. There are your shoes in the background, two bowls of food on the table, a sweater he's never seen wearing before on the couch, a shadow in the mirror in the background. It's his favorite little game, how well he can hide you in open sight.

Jimin: You are his number one tripod for his content. He 100 percent trusts you vision when it comes to filming his dance videos or taking his photos. Even if you have no former experience in those areas. He also takes you everywhere! This man is absolutely shameless in taking you to work with him. He doesn't even care if his explanations, why he needs you at set with him all the time are not making sense. He introduced you at one photoshoot first as his personal assistant in addition to his actual assistant, later as his translator the shooting was in korea so no need for a translator and his emotional support human okay this was probably a joke on his side. No one ever dares to object anyways. Including those times when he uses his times with highly ranked stylists to get you set up with some pretty new clothes instead of preparing for his upcoming comeback.

Taehyung: He is in desperate need for a calm spot of comfort in his life and you are that to him. Far away from all the hectic that comes with being an Idol you are his home and the place where he can 100 percent be himself. After a long day he loves nothing more than to fall onto the couch next to you and hug you tightly until he falls asleep. As you talk about your day, petting his soft hair. When he can't come home to you, he calls you in the evening when he is in bed at some hotel on the other side of the world. Just needing to hear your voice to finally calm his mind. Additionally Yeontan loves you almost as much as he loves Tae so you are the perfect dog sitter, and yes this includes managing the scheduled facetimes between the two of them when Tae is on tour.

Jungkook: Please note that he will kick you out of whatever room he wants to stream in, when he streams. Your shared apartment? No it's his personal filming studio and you live in it. I hope you are good at turning off cameras without being visible on them, because that is your job whenever he falls asleep on the camera. But all jokes aside he is always so excited to come to you after streams, asking if you watched it. You didn't need to, because you could hear him in the next room over, but just say yes, because he loooves you validation. "Did you like that photoshoot I did? What do you think about my dancing in that tiktok? Did I sound good during that performances?" It's almost as bad as Jin but Jungkook pairs it with his huge pretty puppy eyes, tearing into your soul. Also, he will tease you with his song lyrics, especially the spicy ones. Just to get really flustered by your answer afterwards.

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rosesloveletters · 5 months

Text

all is fair in love.

Pairing: 1971 Willy Wonka x Fem. Reader

Word Count: 10,261

Warnings: sexual content / smut.

Summary: The holidays are Wonka's busiest season and his work keeps him away from reader much more than either of them would like. After hours, the two spend a passionate night together as they both make the necessary arrangements to be attentive to each other's needs and empathetic of the complexity of maintaining a healthy romantic relationship that neither reader nor Wonka are accustomed to.

Author's Note: my smut fics are always between 6-10k haha so enjoy. I edited this the best I could, but for some reason I kept switching between first person and second person pov for reader (I don't know why since I always write in second person pov.) I think I fixed most of it, so if there's any parts I missed, I'm sorry. Also, I'd like to mention that Christmas isn't inherently important to the events in this story. It is used as an element only to convey why Wonka is so busy during this time of year, because most people like to buy chocolate and candy as gifts. I know Gene was Jewish, even though I believe he said he wasn't exactly religious. I have no intention of trying to be offensive/belittle/make light of anyone's religion or beliefs and I apologize if it comes across that way because it is without a doubt not my intention.

Edited.

divider created by @/saradika on Tumblr.

You’ve always believed that if you truly love someone, then you keep it a secret.

You would let that feeling freeze me down to the core – to love the way a person is meant to, but it is that same love that, inevitably and irrevocably, suffocates.

You cannot satisfy that craving the same way one might satisfy a sweet tooth. Once given a taste, it seeps down into your skin, infecting both body and mind, pierces the heart and tears it wide open.

The thundering beat inside your chest cannot be silenced. The fingertips of fate trace the spider-like, lightning-strike veins that split your heart right down the middle.

A broken heart takes love like a beating.

It all comes boiling to the surface, bubbling up and out in the breath of a second.

The truth always comes out, one way or another.

Because if you don’t let the heart have its’ way, then it will tear itself right out of your chest.

***

The days were short, but the hours were long.

You spent much of your time by yourself, as this season kept Willy preoccupied. Time marched onward and the weeks themselves seemed to drag; it was nearing Christmastime and that meant very little to you in the grand scheme of things, except that you’d be seeing less and less of your lover.

Traditionally, the holidays were a time of celebration and joy, gifts and laughter shared between friends and families alike.

However, you lived a nontraditional life now, and Willy had unwittingly shown you that the life of a chocolatier was a solitary one. You knew that the busy holiday season was what pulled him away, but his lack of attentiveness made you wonder…

The only thing that kept these thoughts at bay was the way in which he looked at you when he was around.

Willy was a difficult man to read. Whether that was intentional or not, were you still trying to determine. The only dead giveaway were his eyes – startlingly intense and piercingly blue – that bore no resemblance to subtlety.

The vastness of the heavens, it seemed, were contained within those swirling galaxies. On dark nights when the cloud cover was too thick, you traced the constellations in his eyes to guide you into his morning light.

You could see yourself peeling back the layers of his heart to get to the source of how he truly felt.

Deflect from it all he might – “I’m a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time–” you saw right through him and sometimes that only made him steer clear of you for longer.

It wasn’t that he did not care for you; it was quite the opposite. Perhaps the extent to which he cared was a bit overwhelming for him at times. He immersed himself in his work during these times, else his mind inevitably carried him to places he would rather not visit.

Willy Wonka’s mind was not a place any person, sometimes even himself, should ever go without a guide or a distinct way back.

Though anyone with half a brain could tell that the amazing chocolatier was a troubled man on occasion, his true nature shone through in his creations. Something about this season’s batch of chocolate was a touch sweeter than ones previous. It would go undetected by those who did not have a refined palate, but like the saying goes, a true artist would put their blood, sweat and tears into their work and Willy Wonka was a mastermind.

He knew exactly what he was doing and what he meant to convey, if only between himself and one other: the world’s most famous chocolatier was in love.

***

You sat on the plush sofa in the personal wing of the factory, a book in one hand and a mug of hot chocolate in the other. You were nestled beneath a thick-knit, purple blanket as you read and waited on Willy to return to your den for the night.

You saw less and less of him the closer it got to the holidays, but such was the nature of his business. Christmastime was one of the busiest seasons and the one in which he made most of his money (the second being Valentine’s Day.) People bought exorbitant amounts of candies and chocolate during the holidays and so Willy was forced to expedite production (though never sacrificing quality) and work long, difficult hours preparing new and exciting treats for the public. In fact, it was no well-kept secret that Willy Wonka unveiled his newest creations around this time of year and that very news was plastered in every newspaper, magazine and bulletin across the world as people anticipated the exciting, brand-new sweets there would be to try.

You knew the excitement and rush of the season fed into Willy’s own excitement over his work. He was thrilled to be working on new ideas and expressing himself through his creativity and imagination. It meant the world to him and so you did your best to stay out of the way. You did not want to make the situation about you and, after all, he always made it up to you.

He was aware that his absence bothered you and he tried not to think about the fact that he may or may not be doing irreparable damage to your relationship.

Not every difficult time or situation was an attack against you. It wasn’t personal, nor was it anyone’s explicit fault. Willy had a factory to run, Oompa-Loompas to manage and ideas to manifest into reality. Sometimes, your relationship would take a backseat and if you were serious about being with him, then you would have to be alright with that and you were, although that did not mean that it didn’t hurt from time to time.

It would have been nice to relax and enjoy the season with your lover without his work getting in the way. You would have loved to curl up with him, sitting at opposite ends of the couch and enjoying lots of hot chocolate and hours of warm conversation. If you had your pick, you’d gladly have him here with you now, trading the book in your hands for his warm body, his fingers linked perfectly into the spaces between yours.

You reasoned that this was just how things would have to be for now. No sense in adding more pressure on him by complaining. He was aware of how you felt, but sadly there was nothing to be done about it. You never would have dreamed of asking him to pick between his work and you. That would not have been fair or right. You could handle this, for now, but deep down you missed him terribly.

Even if you chose to spend time with him inside the factory part of the building, he would be working the whole time. There simply was no time for much of anything else. He did like when you would drop by because you were his faithful little taste-tester. Better to try it out on you before selling it to the masses – that would seem cruel, knowing that his candies have had certain negative effects on people in the past, but rest assured, Willy had never given you anything that might harm you.

Any candy which made its way to you had been tested and re-tested to perfection before it ever passed between your lips.

He wanted feedback on his candy before it left the factory and you were more than happy to offer it to him, to which he was enthusiastically grateful. The only problem was, true to inventor fashion, he asked for feedback on everything. He wanted your opinion and was asking for it increasingly often these days. When you didn’t show up to the inventing room on certain days, he’d bring a whole box back to your shared living space and eagerly watch you with anticipation of your positive remarks as you were asked to try every piece.

He was always so grateful to you for that and, honestly, you didn’t mind. You liked candy and chocolate, so there was no reason you couldn’t afford him this act of kindness.

The only thing you really felt like you were missing was him and it plagued your mind most often while you were alone, which was of course very often. You kept yourself busy and occupied your thoughts with other things as much as you were able, but when you settled in for the night, your loneliness crept in and took up the space beside you that would have otherwise been occupied by your beloved chocolatier.

You didn’t mind your alone time, but too much of it was not ideal.

Too much of a good thing came with a price and now it seemed you were paying it with interest.

The sound of a door opening and shutting pulled you from your thoughts. You glanced down at your book to realize you’d just had it propped open against your knees this whole time and hadn’t read a bit. You marked your place and closed it with a huff, setting it down on the end table beside you, your mug of half-drank cocoa with it.

A quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall – thank God he hadn’t cut that one in half – showed that it was ten minutes after midnight.

It did not come as a surprise that Willy was so late. It was only your wildest guess as to what he had been working on, but that point was moot. You did not really care what he was working on.

That thought seemed harsh and you frowned; no, you were adamantly against resenting him for his work. That path was one you would not let yourself go down, a trap of codependence, you told yourself, but why couldn’t he just be a little more present with you? Surely it wasn’t too much to ask.

Perhaps you would ask.

It would make the most sense to be upfront with him about how you were feeling and to be as direct as possible.

You did not move from the couch. You waited on Willy to come and find you, unlike the many days and nights when you might have greeted him at the door.

Several quiet moments passed between yourself and your thoughts before Willy entered the room. He had shed his purple coat at the door, as well as his hat and cane, “there you are, my dear,” his gentle tone made your stomach clench as warmth pooled in your abdomen. Even troubled with doubts, you were still delighted to see him.

You watched as he approached and dropped himself on the opposite end of the couch. He nudged your knee with his, silently asking for a bit more space which you politely gave, “I would have been back sooner, but I’ve been so busy, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

“Yes, it is that time of year,” you replied coolly. You didn’t want to jump into the meat of the discussion too soon, otherwise he might take offense where there was none.

He seemed in a good enough mood that perhaps this would be the perfect time to strike.

“Yes, my dear, it’s the holiday season which does wonders for my business and I couldn’t be happier.”

His pride in the work he was doing warmed your heart. You listened to him for a while as he recounted what he had been working on that day.

He cared so much and spoke so passionately, yet your mind began to wander.

“Is everything alright, my dear?”

His tender voice captured your attention and you blinked slowly, “yes, I’m fine. But, there is something I would like to talk to you about.”

His lips hitched into a faint smile, then flattened into a serious line. It bothered you, not being able to read his face.

“There is? Well, you know that you can always talk to me about anything on your mind.”

You didn’t want to overwhelm him, not when he was already so fully immersed within his work. He needed time and space to focus. He did not need you hindering his creative flow by hanging all over him and demanding more attention. He already gave so much; how could you even dare to think that he owed you more?

“I know you’re busy this time of year, but do you think it would be possible for us to spend a little more time together?” My voice cracked as I added, “I…really miss you, Willy.”

You hadn’t meant to speak with words that were laced with such pain, but in fairness you did miss him terribly. By the time he made his way to you most nights, you were already in bed or heading there and in the mornings before you’d woken up, he would be gone. It bothered you to not see him and you wanted him to hear it. He needed to know the truth if you meant to be honest with him, you only hoped he’d be able to understand that you didn’t blame him.

Conversations like this always made you second guess yourself.

By this point, you realized that he had not responded. He was probably just thinking about what he would say, but usually it didn’t take him this long to reply.

“Willy?” you gently urged him, reaching out to place your hand on his arm.

Whenever he felt the gentle graze of your fingertips against the fabric of his shirt, he glanced down, admiring the tender touch with a wistful smile on his face before he looked up at you and the emotion held inside of those ice-blue eyes was almost enough to send you over the edge and into uncontrollable sobs of relief.

You felt the tension in your shoulders beginning to dissipate. Good, he felt the same way.

He was still staring at you like there was something more on his mind. That was the way things were with Wonka and you’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t thought on more than one occasion that it’s a good thing you weren’t a mind reader because there were things that went on inside his head that should stay there. It was better that you didn’t try to trace his Machiavellian ways or make sense of the enigmatic man who so frequently surprised you with small glimpses into how he really thought and viewed the world. It was fun getting to know who he was, but the true wonderment was in not knowing him at all.

He tested your mind and all your senses, but never pushed your boundaries. He could knock you off your stride in seconds, then act as if nothing had happened. You were playing his little chess game and he was already three or more moves ahead. It had only been a matter of time before you had fallen into his hands like this.

Things were as they were because Wonka wanted them to be. His quips and wisecracks often went over people’s heads, especially because of how well-versed he was in literature and culture. He could make the whole world fall in love with him at once, then forget him as soon as they were no longer in his presence, but you believed the world adored him much more than he liked to think it did.

“I didn’t say anything sooner because I didn’t want it to seem like I was being insensitive, since I know you’re not intentionally ignoring me.”

This statement made him smile for some reason, “where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear; where little fears grow great, great love grows there.” (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)

At first, you didn’t know what to say. You had a bit of trouble discerning what he meant sometimes, missing the larger picture for deciding why he chose a specific quote at a specific time.

Seeming to read your thoughts, he let out a polite chuckle, “This is to say, even in love do the smallest doubts scare you, but when you are afraid of such little things, you are still in love, too.”

His explanation seemed to help, if only for a second.

It was true that you had your doubts, but those doubts only stemmed from love. That fear which grew inside of you had taken root, but when enough time had passed, it was the love which had bloomed from it.

Both the fear and love would come with a connection as strong as this one.

In the beginning, Willy had never dreamed of having a romantic partner. His solitary lifestyle simply lacked the means necessary to cultivate a long-term relationship. He had never desired romance or human connection of any kind. He had his factory and the Oompa-Loompas to look after; he was stretched thin as it was.

It was with sickening rapture that he sought the reason for why his heart seemed so content within your hands. He had to know the true meaning behind what he felt, even if he had to wade out in to the wild, dark depths up to his neck. He was barely treading water, sinking still, feet kicking desperately and hands reaching, clawing for purchase but there was nothing for him to grab onto. No way to steady himself as his soul careened toward what he had been running from for so long, a runaway train on the track towards trust and away from self-preservation.

At first, you wanted to be the one in control. You had your fair share of demons and setting the pace for the relationship yourself was very important to you, but neither of you wanted to go too far too fast.

You became acclimated to his world quite quickly.

You just seemed to fit right in and, with time, Wonka found himself closer to you than he had ever been with another person.

The two of you had been together for quite some time now and the red string of fate binding your hearts together was pulled taut.

It seemed that you both knew you were in the right hands and the love that grew here was stronger than any fears or doubts which gripped you.

“What scares me the most is that you’re pulling away from me,” you confessed to him, and that revelation made his eyes widen perceptibly, “sometimes I think you don’t even realize that you’re doing it.”

The conversation had shifted and Wonka realized that you were no longer just discussing his absence in light of the holidays. There was deeper emotion and meaning laced within what you were saying to him now.

He was used to being alone, as were you. The only difference was that while you had never lost hope that the right person might come along, he had done everything he could to close himself off. His heart was a precious thing and that was what the world had been after. Yes, he had closed his factory because of theft, but he put his whole heart into his work and, if anyone were to steal his heart, then there would be nothing left for the one whom it belonged to.

He made sure he guarded his heart all these years, even if he didn’t know the reason for it. It was easier to deny the very fact that love was something every person desires, even ones who have become so layered and complex that it would be difficult to imagine what a true love might look like for them.

Wonka was not afraid of anything.

However, if one thing made him apprehensive it was the idea of anyone finding him out.

Not that there was any chance of that; no one was able to think quite like him. But if anyone came close, that meant he’d cling to them forever, holding on for dear love.

His gaze shifted down to your hands that were folded in your lap and reached for one. Long, delicate fingers gently wrapping around your right hand as he brought it to his mouth.

A kiss for each finger, you counted, one two three four five…

Then, his lips made contact with your inner wrist. The sudden and unexpected brush of lips against your sensitive skin made your breath hitch.

“I promise to be more attentive,” he whispered on your skin, his hot breath tickling the inner area of your wrist, “the only one pulling me anywhere is you and I am only moving forward.”

“You’ve got to go forwards to go back.”

He had believed that, in more ways than just one, in relation to his factory and to people, but there was no going back now. Even if that were an opinion, he wouldn’t have wanted to.

Within half a second, he dropped your hand and tilted his head, leaned in close and pressed his warm lips to yours in the most sensual, tender kiss your lips had ever known.

Your heart fluttered in your chest like butterfly wings beating against your ribcage, desperate to free itself and get to his. Your soul sought the kind of connection that your mouths were getting and jealousy was an understatement.

If this was his way of making it up to you, then let it be known that you wanted nothing else for Christmas this year than a clear mind and the taste of your lover left over on your cupid’s bow.

It was all electric, body and soul alight, glistening brighter than fairy lights strung up for the season.

He tasted sweeter than his own candy and you smiled into the kiss at the very thought. He ate a lot of his own sweets, if only to test the taste, and you couldn’t help but enjoy the sugared kisses, your sweet tooth craving satisfied only by his honeyed lips.

Somewhere in the haze you found the opportunity to grip handfuls of his tawny tresses, fingers digging into the soft curls that drove your heart mad with desire. You loved his hair and so infrequently did he let you touch or comb it. It was about as unruly as he was, wild, untamed and free, just like the man it belonged to.

Your gentle tugging on his hair elicited a soft grunt from him and his lips attacked yours more feverishly, taking on a more aggressive quality now that you had accepted and encouraged him.

There was no rhyme or reason for anything that occurred while you were with him, except what was happening now.

Wonka did everything on a whim. Sleeping, eating, working…no schedule, no routine, no nonsense.

“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”

Perhaps the most nonsensical thing that had ever happened in Wonka’s factory was your fear that he might leave you.

Strike that. Don’t reverse it.

You didn’t want anything to change. There were more twists and turns in this man’s head than there were in his factory and you had lost yourself trying to find your way out. You never left his mind, not once. Even while he worked or spent time alone, you were in his thoughts, whether it was subconscious or not.

Your own mind didn’t register your movement as you crawled closer and sought out more of his sugary sweetness which was more potent than any nectar of the gods. Your lips devoured his, tasting every inch of the same mouth that poured prose and poetry into your ear each night that you laid with him.

He hummed pleasantly against your lips. His gentle sounds teased you; so rare was it that he ever made a sound during these moments of intimacy. Oh, how you tried, and your futile attempts filled him with great satisfaction. He had more discipline than you ever imagined; living alone for so many years without the warmth of another had taught him to go without, but desperation clung to his bones and manifested through each fervent, heated kiss.

Willy wouldn’t have described himself as needy, but he appreciated physical intimacy when it occurred and sometimes it was as necessary as any other proper communication. He wanted more than a quick romp; he craved human connection. It was completely unfounded for someone like him to want to share a connection with anyone, but here he was asking for it with his mouth on yours and your reciprocation of that same need meant everything to him.

You tested the waters, grazing your teeth along his bottom lip to determine how far he might be willing to go. He didn’t stop you. His lips simply parted, allowing entry of your tongue.

The only sound he made was a little gasp, which you swallowed as your tongue delved in to taste the inside of his mouth. Your hands were still holding the sides of his head, fingers buried deep within his unruly curls.

He helped maneuver your body closer to his, unabashedly bringing you to sit on his lap. As you settled on top of him, one of his large hands moved down to the small of your back and held you firmly in place.

You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You had no grasp of how long the two of you continued to kiss like that. The passage of time, though a precious thing, was unimportant in the current moment. The only thing you demanded more of was him and you would greedily take all that he had to offer you.

You were enchanted by him. He surprised you at every turn and, if it had been anyone else, you’d have questioned where you stood with them, but wasn’t that the point? The less anyone knew about Willy Wonka, the more exciting it felt to be in his presence.

It was impossible to know whether the things he revealed about himself were true or not and there was beauty in that alone. If beauty was in the eye of the beholder, then he had the upper hand here.

You did not stop to see why his hand had suddenly been removed from your back, but any questions you might’ve wished to voice were answered when you noticed him reaching for one of the top buttons on his vest.

The steady progression of events had led you here and you were too immersed within the moment to stop him, but you wouldn’t have wanted to anyway. You were entranced, enthralled, enraptured by the whole of him and his heart belonged to yours.

The wet graze of your tongue against his cupid’s bow spurred him further, lips tangled tantalizingly with yours as his fingers worked open the buttons on his vest.

The threshold had been breached.

The moment was yours for the taking, if you wanted it and you knew that you did.

Lost somewhere between drunk on lust and in love, you began to help him unbutton, starting at the bottom of his vest and continuing until your hands met in the middle of his chest. You followed this same pattern for both rows of buttons.

Coincidentally, this journey ended right above his heart, but another one was merely beginning.

Your hands were shaking with anticipation as you looked up to notice him already gazing at you lovingly. A tender smile curved his lips like a crescent moon and the sunlight bleeding out through the cracks in your soul made the stars in his eyes sparkle.

You cupped his cheek and pressed a gentle kiss onto the bridge of his nose. His arms encircled you, holding you flush against him and his shirtsleeves rode up on his forearms, exposing just a fraction of skin with a fine dusting of sand-colored hair.

You let him hold you to him as his lips attached to your neck. You imagined when he pulled back that there would be an imprint of lips, a tattoo of his love painted across your collarbone, signifying that you belonged to him alone.

You tilted your head to give him better access and he thanked you by delivering a loving nip to the column of your neck.

You hadn’t forgotten your intention.

With hands still shaking, you reached for his vest and pulled it open. His lips detached from your neck in an instant and long, elegant fingers wrapped around your wrist, effectively stopping you from undressing him.

His eyes were crystalline pools of skylight, airy and substantially quantified by the depths within them. They had a mirror-like quality and you could see yourself reflected in them as you held his gaze for a heartbeat too long.

“Only if…this is something that we both want…”

Willy’s words of brevity filled you with wonder.

“If I’m being honest with you, Willy…I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something more than I want you now.”

That single sentence melded with and fused into his soul. In a breath-to-breath admission of consent, your words had tied his tongue with cursive letters.

He breathed a sigh of relief and held within that exhale was his own consent. You had granted him permission, assuring him that you were not offering yourself out of obligation or for complacency’s sake and that thrilled him perhaps as much as the act itself would. He felt the blood rush to his groin and he moved beneath you, shifting your body weight more onto his thigh.

Willy nuzzled your cheek, dragging his nose along your soft skin. His arms had yet to unravel themselves from around you; he wanted to take his time. However, he was increasingly aware of his own sense of desperation. It had been some time since he had last gotten into bed with a lover.

Actually, the last time he had gotten into bed with anyone was with you.

Willy had a low sex drive, but on occasion it would crop up and remind him that he was, in fact, human and had needs, whether it was simple biology or heightened by the desire to connect with the one he loved.

Whenever he thought of a lover and what had previously been just some nameless face at the forefront of his mind, that vision was now you. Yours was the love he sought; your hands were the ones meant to hold his heart.

He let go of you and shrugged off his vest.

Your lips captured his once again and he imagined this was what dreams tasted like.

He went to stand up and you quickly took the hint and moved off his lap. He got up and began unbuttoning his white undershirt while you watched. He could see the fire burning in your irises, your pupils dilated with desire as you watched his delicate fingers pop open each button.

You knew better than to rush him; a treat as sweet as him was meant to be savored.

You took this opportunity to slip your own shirt off your body. With your skin exposed, his eyes traveled across your midsection and his fingers hesitated, fumbling the button he was on. His breath hitched and you swore you heard him whisper the word “beautiful” as he gazed upon you.

Once he had recovered, the swiftness with which he finished removing his undershirt made your head spin. In his haste, he had forgotten to remove his bow tie and unbutton his sleeve cuffs, which made you giggle. He seemed flustered, his cheeks reddening once he realized, and perhaps this was the first time you had ever witnessed him with a blush on his cheeks.

You reached out to help him and a soft chuckle dripped from his lips like maple syrup, “It would appear I’ve gotten a bit ahead of myself, my dear.”

You chuckled as well as his bow tie and undershirt were removed, “well, I’ll take it as a compliment…that you seem so eager to have me.”

Your words were spoken as if in jest, but his response was anything but.

“Doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt that I love,” he quoted, his smooth baritone steeping you in the tea of his desire. (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)

It was enough to quiet your mind and when he said it, you felt your entire world get a little smaller. Your heightened senses had inflated your soul and carried you to the clouds. You were a runaway balloon stuck in a tree and his words were the hand that enclosed around your string. You had seen vast lands and known love in its many forms, but never until this moment had you felt so much in the presence of one.

His heart knew yours better than it knew itself and the cracks left by heartbreak were filled in by your endless love for each other.

You moved in to kiss him again and his hands cupped your warm cheeks. His breath tasted as sweet as the chocolate he made, which only made sense because of how often you saw him sampling it. He kept a bit in his coat that he’d pull out and nibble upon and often would you go sifting through his pockets for little treasures and treats that he had left over. Sometimes you found such delights that it had to have been no accident that they had been left behind. No, he knew your guilty pleasure was his chocolate and he made sure to satisfy your cravings, both for chocolate and for him, as often as possible.

Your tongue slipped inside his mouth and he finally graced your ears with a very delicate moan.

His hands moved down the length of your arms to finally grab your hips. He pulled you in, your pelvis against his, and you could feel the hard press of his bulge against your thigh.

While you kissed, he began to walk you backwards toward your shared bedroom.

You could not have torn your lips apart to look where you were going even if you wanted to.

You trusted him to get you there safely, perhaps more than you had ever trusted another person or at least you hadn’t trusted anyone this deeply in a very long time. Too many others had taken a hammer to your jawbreaker heart and smashed it to more manageably sized pieces, but once broken, it could never be put back together without its’ once-pristine surface now marred with jagged cracks.

At least the breakage let the light of your soul pour out into his hands…

Willy was stained by your brokenness, his heart bruised the color of your trauma.

He had been burned before, broken in a very real way, and therefore it was never a question of if you would trust him, but how much and when. He knew how long it could take a person to truly open up if they wanted to, but for you, he was willing to wait an eternity and then some.

Time stood still and Willy had the presence of mind to remember how it felt to cradle your body to his when the only things that cemented your souls was an equal share of trust and love for one another and the mutual decision to take just one more chance.

You sighed with relief when the backs of your knees connected with the mattress.

Willy didn’t push you or press for more. His lips left yours in favor of your neck and several chaste yet sweet kisses were left along your collar bone as if his lips were asking for permission without the accompaniment of words.

In between you, you reached for his belt.

He felt your fingers wrap around the waistband of his trousers and a gentle smirk crossed his features, “after something, are we?”

His coy response made the tips of your ears get hot and you huffed, “well, it isn’t my fault that I’ve gone and gotten all excited…”

“I hope you’re not implying that it’s mine,” he replied as his smirk widened.

“I wasn’t implying anything,” your time spent with him had sharpened your wit, “I’m saying it.”

His eyes shared in your mirth, twinkling with laughter at your response. He wrapped an arm around your lower back and pulled you in. With his cheek to yours, lips near your ear, he whispered, “shall we make use of your excitement, then, dear?”

You felt a shudder run down your spine as he spoke to you, the dulcet undertones of his honeyed voice pierced you like a knife through the delicate flesh of an orange. You wanted to sink your fingers into his heart and peel it apart to devour the pieces, sustaining yourself on his love.

You nodded and he deemed it appropriate to continue. He gently pushed your hands from his belt and took on the task himself. He pulled it from the loops and laid it on the chair nearest to him.

When he turned back to you, you were already removing your pants. He smiled to himself, stopping in his tracks to admire you as you undressed. He almost wanted to help you, but held himself back. Mutual trust came at a price and he would not want to overstep any unspoken boundaries. You had not explicitly told him not to help, but you hadn’t told him to do it either and so he decided it was best to let you indicate what you wanted from him and how comfortable you were with the situation.

Neither you nor he were particularly trusting individuals. Your experiences with people who took advantage of others made you wary and skeptical, through no fault of your own. Maturity and wisdom came with age and while you had both grown and learned, you had built walls around yourselves both figuratively and literally, in Wonka’s case, to guard your hearts and protect them.

Now, you were bearing your souls to each other.

It was an unlikely thing, but you were both ready. You had known Wonka for a long time now and you had no doubt that you and he were meant to be in each other’s lives. There was a reason that you were here. Even though you might have needed a bit of reassurance from time to time, it was never because you truly thought he might leave you. Giving word to that unreasonable fear set you free, because in your heart of hearts you realized that you were not afraid at all.

You were lonely.

You had forced it down for years, but acknowledging it now was cathartic, because never again would you find yourself isolated like you had so many years before.

Willy was no stranger to isolation either. Though he had reasons other than your own, he empathized.

It was difficult, at times, for the two of you to find a rhythm. Both of you had been alone for so long that it took time to become acclimated to sharing your lives with each other, but in this moment you both knew that there was no person you would each rather share a life with than each other.

Willy was never at risk of pulling away. He was simply learning how to love you.

As soon as you pushed off your pants and stepped out of them, he was kissing you again. In a flourish of limbs and bare skin, you fell backwards onto the mattress with him. His hot lips descended over yours as his fingers linked into the spaces between your own. In all ways except for one, your two bodies were unified and, if either of you could help it, that would soon be remedied.

The mattress dipped and shifted beneath your shared weight as Willy crawled on top of you. You held his hands for as long as you were capable of doing before you needed to feel him more solidly at your fingertips. You dropped his hand, grabbed his shoulder and dug in your nails to hear him hiss into your ear and nip at your neck.

He couldn’t even finish undressing because you demanded every ounce of his attention.

Your spirits were engaged in this battle of carnality and you had consumed him, corrupted his mind and possessed him body and soul, but all’s fair in love and war, both of which you had waged fervently on his senses.

At risk of ruining the moment, he pulled away and got up to finish removing his trousers. Your chest heaved as you took a moment to catch your breath, propping yourself up on one arm.

“And here I thought…we were just getting to the good part,” I quipped. A teasing smile bloomed on my face as he turned to look down at me.

“And I thought you liked my kisses,” He replied without missing a beat.

His lopsided grin made you giggle, but the sound of his zipper being pulled down tore your attention away from the witty banter. The fire of fierce need had begun to burn bright inside your belly once again after being extinguished to mere embers only seconds ago.

You watched him kick off his trousers and make no move to pick them up.

He moved back down onto the bed and leaned into you. You met him halfway and pecked a chaste kiss onto his lips. Your bodies fit together like two immaculately chiseled sculptures whose delicate features appeared to be made of something much softer than stone.

You knew what he wanted from you now and you felt goosebumps rising on your flesh as you anticipated his caress.

He cupped your head, holding you to him as he lowered you back against the pillows. He liked to take charge of this part himself and you let him, despite the anxiety you felt at relinquishing control over yourself. You didn’t like feeling out of control, especially of your body and Willy knew this. He tried his best to make you feel comfortable and safe, never moving forward without verbal consent.

“Shall I touch you, dear?”

You reflected on his question before you nodded, swallowing thickly before you could make a sound, “yes.”

You knew that he would check in with you frequently to make certain you still wished to continue.

With your consent, his fingertips grazed the length of your arms. His warm touch sent pleasant shivers through you and you fought the urge to arch into him. He had a way of making you feel everything he wanted you to feel with just one touch. It was like magic, the control he had over your body and sometimes you wondered if his creative abilities branched into other realms as well.

His hands slid down your sides, massaging your warm skin and admiring your supple curves, the angles and indentations of your hips. Before he traveled lower, Willy wanted to devote some appreciation to the rest of your body first. His hands moved to your back, working underneath you to swiftly unclip your bra. He had a way of doing things so fast that you barely had time to register what he was doing before it was done. Perhaps it didn’t seem possible, but impossibility did not exist where Willy Wonka came from; if there was a way to do the impossible, he had already figured it out and told no one.

With your unclasped bra no longer pulled taut, he delicately pushed the straps off your shoulders and plucked the hindersome piece of fabric away from your chest. It dropped unceremoniously to the floor and his blue eyes glittered with mischief when he looked upon your exposed breasts.

You wanted to cover them, but he held your arms at your sides. True to the creative genius he was, he had to admire beauty where and when he saw it and you were a masterpiece. His tight smile had relaxed as he gazed down at you beneath him and he practically cooed with appreciation for your form.

“You’re very beautiful,” he whispered heatedly, like it was almost difficult for him to get the words out. He was overwhelmed with all his attention focused on the body before him.

You wanted to thank him for the compliment, but all that came out was a soft squeak.

He chuckled at your little sound and bent his head. He placed a firm kiss on your left breast and you sighed in pleasure at the gentle touch of his plush lips on your pillowy skin. His lips traced the curves of your breasts before encircling one of your nipples, suckling lightly as if it were a piece of candy.

You mewled and arched into his mouth, desiring more from him and as quickly as possible, but Willy liked to take his time with you. He never left you unsatisfied, but you could expect nothing to be fast paced.

His fingers wrapped around your hips to hold you in place as he moved to your other breast and did the same thing. His hot tongue teased your candy pieces to hardness and he hummed his appreciation, sending waves of pleasure down to your core.

You squirmed in his grasp and whimpered pathetically, “please, Willy,” you begged him, “I want you now.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have me, dear,” he reassured you, his thumbs rubbing placatingly against your hips, “when I’m ready for you to.”

His teasing remark made you huff in irritation until his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of your cotton panties and paused you in your tracks.

You whined as his fingers barely breached the fabric barrier before he removed them. His hands moved to your inner thighs and spread your legs apart for him to nestle in between them.

All you could do was watch as he leaned closer and pressed a kiss to your navel, just below your belly button. His kisses traveled lower and lower down your pelvis to your pubic bone and finally to your core. You writhed in pleasure when his mouth found its way to where you wanted it, but your panties were still in the way and you groaned with frustration.

Heat emanated from your core due to your arousal and the crotch of your panties were damp with your wetness.

Your head dropped back against the pillow as he used the tip of his nose to brush lightly against your clit through your panties.

You were so pliant to his will and responsive to his touch that he almost felt powerful. If it had been anyone other than him, he would have, but all he felt in this moment was an overwhelming feeling of love. The fact that he could give you a comfortable experience of vulnerability and pleasure perhaps did enflame his ego a bit, but he loved you even more for it. To see you enjoying yourself because of him was almost too much for him to handle and he could feel his cock swell to attention.

He placed a couple of open-mouthed kisses to the crotch of your panties before he dragged them down your legs. He would have liked to tease you more, but he was already beginning to lose patience and he didn’t want to rush through too quickly.

With your panties removed, he could admire your glistening folds and the sweet juices that had dribbled out of you. His mouth watered as he delved in for a taste, his tongue tentatively flickering against your opening.

You let out a cry and bucked your hips, desperate for him to fill you. You needed friction and fullness to achieve release and Willy knew you couldn’t get either of those things without his compliance. He smirked at that and lowered his head between your thighs.

Your hot core pulsed as more of your honey leaked onto his tongue. He moaned in satisfaction, savoring the taste of your sweetness and the delicious sounds you were making for him. He had never tasted anything this sweet except for his chocolate and if he could have only one of those two things right now he would have picked you without a second thought.

It was almost too much for him to pull his mouth away, but he knew that he must if he were to indulge in the ultimate act of pleasure with you. You both wanted that more than you wanted air to breathe. A greater craving than candy, your existing love and soul connection a stronger aphrodisiac than chocolate.

With a final flick of his tongue against your clit, he dragged his mouth off you. You whimpered at the loss, but in the back of your lust-flavored cotton candy mind you knew that your shared night of pleasure was just beginning.

He got off the bed again and opened the nightstand drawer. He withdrew a small tinfoil packet and a small clear bottle of lubricant.

You were still sprawled out on the mattress, your hair a halo around your head. The darkened room made it difficult to see what he was doing, but your eyes had adjusted enough for you to see movement.

You felt eyes on you and before you glanced up from the object he was holding, his voice broke the silence, “are you comfortable continuing?”

Driven by lust and lover’s greed, you nodded your consent. Willy did not respond at first, waiting on your actual acknowledgement and proper agreement. Your voice was shaky as you replied to him, but you knew what you wanted and were certain in your response, “yes. I want this. I want you, Willy.”

The sincerity in your voice convinced him and he tore open the condom wrapper.

Excitement thrilled you and coursed through your veins, carried into your heart by blood. Your body was singing with sensation as you wanted nothing more than his solid body atop you, his hard length buried in your tight heat.

You watched him with barely-concealed enthusiasm – well, perhaps the only concealment was from the darkness in the bedroom – as he took off his underwear and rolled the condom on. He then squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and coated his cock.

You could hear him jerking himself off and the obscenely slick sounds from the generous amount of lube. He had yet to give himself any physical stimulation up until this point and you were eager to repay the favor.

In the dark, your reached for him and he came to you, ready to meld together and fill you full of himself.

He positioned himself on top and guided your legs around his hips. He propped himself up with one forearm flat against the mattress so that he wouldn’t rest his entire body weight on you and the other guided his condom-covered tip to your entrance.

He gave your forehead a tender kiss as he pressed in. Your lips parted at your sharp intake of breath and your muscles tightened and seized around him. Willy kissed your face, calming you and keeping you still and relaxed until he bottomed out.

He nuzzled against your cheek and moved his free arm behind you to cradle your head.

You tilted your head back and captured his lips. The two of you kissed lazily for several moments as your bodies adjusted to one another. Your walls twitched around his cock, sending jolts of electricity down to his toes, into the pit of his stomach and behind his eyes. Everything felt fuzzy and seemed out of focus except for you.

The one thing that was clear to him was his love for you and the appreciation he had for you being a part of his life. If he could not trust a single soul with his legacy, he knew that he could trust you with himself and that was more than enough.

For once, nothing made you question Willy Wonka; his intentions were clear.

Your fears were just that: fear. It was irrational and based on nothing of consequence. However, the very fact that you were afraid let you and he both know how much you cared.

You would never take Willy, and he would never take you, for granted.

He would reassure you that though he was not used to sharing his world with another, that you were his world now and you would share in every aspect with him and reap the rewards of a unique and whimsical life with perhaps the greatest chocolatier who ever lived.

Take out all the fantasy and spectacle and you were left with only love and imagination.

All these people thought the most fantastical thing about Willy Wonka were his creations, but what took your breath away, and had since the beginning, was the man behind those creations.

You had fallen in love with him as much as you had with his brain and his intellect, his body, his soul. You wanted to dip your fingers into him like if he were made of melted chocolate. You would lick the essence of his existence off your fingertips to taste his candy-coated soul and sugared thoughts. There were not many candies or chocolates of the Wonka brand that you hadn’t tried, but none were sweeter than the man himself.

If he existed only in your mind, then your mind was alive with the thought of him.

All too soon, your thoughts abandoned you as you felt him begin to move.

He slowly pulled out, angled his hips and pushed back in.

The sudden movement jarred your body and you clung to him tighter.

As he began to set a pace, you rolled your hips down onto him each time that he pushed in. This seemed to please him, witnessing you thrusting with him, your bodies moving in unison toward a shared release and reciprocation of pleasure.

He grunted softly in your ear with the effort of thrusting into you. His soft curls tickled your cheek and you bit back a giggle. A particularly rough thrust ripped the sound from your throat and you laughed aloud.

His brows furrowed in amusement at your laughter, but he grinned with you nonetheless.

His thrusts became harsher, deepening as you adjusted and conformed to the rhythm and pace he set that was creating a delicious friction between your legs. You moaned shamelessly into his ear and he thrusted harder, encouraged by the sinful sounds you were making.

Willy kissed you, his lips feverishly moved against yours as he held you in his embrace and your skin blazed with red hot fervor. A thin sheen of sweat clung to your bodies and you could feel the heat rolled off him in waves. Sweat beaded on his upper lip, but it didn’t bother you as you kissed him harder, demanding more intensity out of your shared intimacy. Your core pulsed, muscles gripping and clenching tightly around his cock.

Your moans began to take on a higher pitch the closer you got to your release. Willy could tell that you were close now and he was eager to send you over the edge. Sex was, at least for him, about mutual enjoyment and gratification, not domination, exploitation or manipulation. It was about individuals who loved each other enough to put aside their individuality and become one, just for a moment of bliss.

His forehead pressed against yours as he thrusted into you harder than before, his pace becoming erratic the closer he came to his own release.

As he panted, you felt his breath fan across your face and he smelled of chocolate.

You balanced on the edge of oblivion as your feverish coupling would soon send you into orgasm.

After a few more hard thrusts, Willy slipped a hand between your legs and gently rubbed your clit. Your release seized you, your body shaking violently with hurricane force winds of equal parts pleasure and zest. It was as if the air had been knocked out of you and you were falling down into his waiting arms. Ecstasy radiated from your core, carried in waves throughout your body.

You were alone with your pleasure, waiting on your lover to join you in the afterglow.

You cried out his name as he thrusted into you through your orgasm. He lasted several moments after you came before he released, filling the condom with several hot bursts of his seed.

He had just enough strength left in his body to pull out and collapse beside you. His harsh panting soon turned to gentle sighs as his heartrate decreased and his body cooled. His strawberry blonde curls were plastered to his forehead with sweat and were sticking out at wild angles except for the top which was always a bit flattened from the way he wore his hat.

You reached out and petted his frizzy hair, your fingers delicately massaging his scalp. He let out a quiet little moan and you smiled at him.

With a deep inhale, he sat up and peeled the sticky condom off his softening prick. He tied it up and tossed it in the wastebin, then snatched his underwear off the ground. He picked yours up as well and handed them to you for you to slip on.

You got off the bed and put your panties back on, then crossed the room to the bathroom. A few moments later, when you returned after you had cleaned yourself up, you found him lying in bed waiting for you.

He smiled at you as you approached and extended an arm out to let you curl into his side as you got back on the bed with him. He already had a blanket laid out to pull across your nude bodies so that you could cuddle in modesty and without getting a chill.

He looked down to watch you settle in and you met his gaze for a moment, appreciating his features. His gorgeous blue eyes were like pools of galaxy speckled with stars. His aquiline nose, which most people thought was too big for his face, looked proportionate in your opinion and beautiful just the same. He had the softest features of any man you had ever seen, slightly chubby cheeks, a round face and curved jawline. He was exquisite in every sense of the word and just looking at him made you fall more deeply in love.

As attractive as he was to you, his personality spoke to yours in a language only the two of you spoke fluently.

His appreciation for literature and culture was unique and inspiring and, because it tied in with your own, you learned a lot from each other. His quick wit and casual snide remarks that often passed over other people’s heads made you laugh as though you were enjoying your own little joke with each other.

During your private appreciation for this man, you concluded that you had no reason to ever think he might be pulling away from you.

In surreal Willy Wonka fashion, he seemed to read your thoughts as he finally spoke, “I’d like to see you in the Inventing Room with me tomorrow. I want you to be as involved with the holiday busy season as I am.”

He addressed your insecurities by offering a solution to the problem and your heart felt a bit lighter. He wanted you to be involved in his work so that you didn’t feel so isolated or lonely. He had promised to be more attentive and he intended to do just that, but you could offer him aid and visit him while he worked. True love was buoyed by compromise; you’d see to it that you did your part to keep your relationship strong.

“Forgive me for not being as attentive as I should be,” he continued, “I’ve been so busy, not to excuse myself.”

“I understand,” you replied.

He seemed surprised for a moment, as if he half-expected you to still be upset, “and it isn’t entirely your fault. I should come around more if I’m missing you. We’ll find a solution. We have time.” Willy put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close so he could kiss your head, “time is a precious thing, my dear. Never waste it.”

Between his words, you heard what he was not saying.

And while he had a point, what you did have was now.

You could agree just to exist for a moment, sharing in the silence of the universe and listening to nothing but your dreams and the sounds of your hearts.

You would fall into each other the same way that you fell in love: accidentally and achingly slow.

One day you would both look up and see how far you had come, but for now, you still had a way to go.

You knew his heart belonged to yours and that was enough to keep trying. Once the busy season calmed down and you had more time to focus on the two of you, you would ease into it like lovers were meant to, but right now you had an obligation to yourselves not to let the fear of failure drive you apart.

It might seem fatalistic to ruin a relationship before it had run its course, but you’d seen it happen and the last thing you wanted was for that to be yours.

You knew deep down that it wouldn’t happen.

Your love was as strong as your imaginations were wild and no mind would ever dare dream the two of you apart.

#willy Wonka #willy wonka and the chocolate factory #willy wonka 1971 #wilder!wonka #willy wonka x reader #willy wonka imagine #willy wonka and the chocolate factory imagine #gene wilder #biblio :: 📖

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