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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 days

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Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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skialdi · 6 months

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Kura kura

I wish, I hope and I beg to get rid of all these sorrows~

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daisynik7 · 1 month

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Rub You the Right Way

Pairing: Choso x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Word Count: ~4.1k

cw: female reader, 2nd-person POV, explicit language, explicit sexual content, smut – oral sex (cunnilingus, fellatio), hand job, face-riding, face-fucking, use and mention of sex toys, cum eating

Summary: You've always been cordial with your shy next-door neighbor Choso. One day, you receive the package you've been expecting, finding out a little too late that it isn't your package at all; it's his. What you find inside makes you wonder that maybe your sweet and quiet neighbor has wild side, one you’re curious to see for yourself.

Author’s Notes: First Choso fic! Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are not expected but always appreciated. Consider this my unofficial return from hiatus. Enjoy! Divider by the wonderful and super talented @/cafekitsune!

part 7 of to all the boys who live next door anthology series

The trek home from the office is especially grueling today. Your backpack is heavy with a clunky work laptop that’s been due for an upgrade along with a pile of documents that need to be reviewed ASAP. One hand carries the dinner you bought at the station while the other hoists a heavy bag of groceries you picked up during lunch, thinking it would be productive to get as much of your errands done today before hunkering down for the weekend to do a job that doesn’t pay you enough to work overtime.

You eventually arrive to your apartment complex, making one more necessary pit stop to the mail room. Inside, you recognize the distinct pink-hair of the boy standing in front of the lockers. He’s your next-door neighbor’s younger brother who visits from time-to-time. “Hi Yuji!” you beam at him.

He turns to face you, eyes crinkling happily as he smiles. “Hey! How’s it going?”

You drop your bags to open your own locker. “I’m alright. Got a busy weekend working. And you?”

He kneels down towards the boxes in front of him. “Same, except studying for exams.”

“Are you picking up your brother’s packages?” It’s a well-known fact by now that Choso isn’t fond of leaving his apartment or interacting with people in general. It doesn’t bother you though; he’s a great neighbor who barely makes a peep. Never has he ever rubbed you the wrong way, despite his reclusive nature. Sometimes, through his brother, he’ll give you an offering of cookies from the batch he baked that week. On the days you’re working overtime, he’ll send Yuji to check in on you, making sure you’re not too stressed or overexerted. And on the rare occasion that the two of you meet face-to-face, either entering or leaving the apartment at the same time, your heart skips just the tiniest beat at how his face softens when you greet him with a smile. From these tiny gestures alone, you’ve determined that Choso Kamo is a sweetheart. Quiet, but most importantly, a sweetheart.

Yuji slides the stack out from Choso’s locker, answering you. “Yup. I also had some stuff delivered here, so I figured I’d just grab everything.”

You stare at the small package in your own locker, evaluating how you’re going to carry it to your room in one trip. There’s no space in any of the bags and you’re almost convinced that you can balance it on top of your head as if you actually possess the proper skills to do so (you don’t). “Need help?” Yuji chuckles. Before you answer, he grabs it, placing it on top of a box similar in size on his stack.

“Thank you so much!”

As the elevator rides to the third floor, you continue to chat casually with Yuji. The two of you walk to your neighboring rooms and when he reaches for his keys, the stack topples over, the boxes now strewn across on the hallway floor. He blushes, collecting them hastily back into a neat pile. “I’m sorry, I hope there isn’t anything fragile in there.” He quickly slides you a box, avoiding your gaze to hide his embarrassment.

It's new office supplies you ordered for your workstation at home, so you hardly care even if there is a bit of damage done. “Don’t worry about it, it’s all good,” you assure him, using your foot to push it towards your front door. “Thank you for your help, Yuji. Tell your brother I say hi.”

“Will do. Have a good night.”

Finally home, you drop all your belongings, letting out a relieved sigh. One-by-one, you put everything away: the groceries in their appropriate places, your lukewarm dinner in the microwave, and all your work junk on the dining table, where you’ll be sat at for most of this weekend starting tomorrow. You save the package for later, planning to refill your supplies tonight so you don’t have to worry about it the next morning.

You soon find out that something even better is waiting for you inside.

~~~

Choso is sprawled on the couch, too lazy to cook dinner. He ordered delivery from Yuji’s favorite pizza joint a few blocks away, which should be arriving any minute now, according to his calculations. When he hears the door open, he sits up, watching his brother enter with a tower of boxes in his hands. “I don’t remember ordering that much stuff,” he grumbles, standing up to help him.

“Most of these are mine. I think only this one is yours.” Yuji passes him a small box, which Choso quickly grabs to toss into his room, hoping to avoiding any questions about it. Truth be told, the contents of that box is way too embarrassing to explain to his precious baby brother. Inside is the sex toy he recently purchased online. It’s essentially a silicone cock sleeve, open on both ends for simple clean-up, made entirely of pliable material for ease and comfort. To put it simply, it’s a fleshlight. A state-of-the-art, new and improved fleshlight, he would like to emphasize. He’s been looking forward to using it all week and once Yuji leaves tonight, he’s going to give it a proper test run until he’s a puddle in the sheets.

It’s been a while since Choso’s been intimate with someone other than himself. A few bad breakups and past betrayals have led him to distrust most people outside of his intimate circle. The unpredictable nature of people, strangers, is frightening to him, so it’s better to avoid them completely. He has the luxury of working a job that’s fully remote, and aside from his brothers and the few colleagues he is forced to converse with periodically, it’s easy for him to remain a recluse, and he’s perfectly content with that. As for his sexual needs, he’s managed to make it this far in this drought thanks to sex toys and pornography. And while he’s aware that it’s not the most glamorous lifestyle, it works for him.

“By the way, your neighbor says hi,” Yuji mentions, opening his packages one-by-one. “She came into the mailroom.”

Choso says your name in the form of a question to clarify, though he’s certain of the answer. The only other human contact he has outside his circle is with you, his next-door neighbor. He doesn’t leave the house much, but on the occasion he does, he always hopes it’s you he runs into. He often worries that one day, you’ll realize what a pathetic loner he is and stop showing him that gorgeous smile of yours. So far, that hasn’t happened yet, so he cherishes those tiny moments every chance he gets. Something about that smile, something about you, makes him feel good. Safe.

“Yup,” Yuji confirms. “She had her hands full, so I helped her carry a package.”

Before Choso can inquire any further, there’s a knock on the door, signaling the arrival of their pizza. After thanking the delivery man, the two gather at the dining table, ready to dig into their dinner. Choso listens intently as Yuji laments on his weekly occurring university woes with a mouth full of pepperoni and sausage. As much as he adores his younger brother, he’s eager for his departure so he can have alone time to break in his new toy.

At eleven, without a crumb left of the pizza and the recycling bin filled with flattened cardboard boxes, Yuji finally announces that he’s leaving. He stuffs his newly delivered items, which includes textbooks, notepads, and a bunch of miscellaneous items, in his bag. “I’ll see you next week, bro. Take care of yourself,” he says, squeezing his big brother into a warm embrace. There’s always the smallest hint of concern in his voice whenever he leaves like this. Does he worry about him? For living a life of seclusion, constantly in fear of the outside world? Sure, it may sound lonely. In fact, it is lonely. But it’s easier to stay safe in the comfort of his own home than risk being hurt from the unknown. It’s better this way…isn’t it?

Choso muses on his brother’s parting words in the silence of his apartment for much longer than he intends to. He decides that the best way to keep him from spiraling further is a distraction, and that means fucking himself silly into temporary bliss until he knocks out for the night. Hidden away in various drawers of his bedroom are a plethora of options to choose from: vibrators, masturbators, cock rings, even the sex doll tucked deep in his closet. Tonight, however, is all about his shiny new toy. Pristine and untouched for him to ruin as much as he wants. He picks it up from the floor, ripping the tape off quickly, too impatient to inspect the exterior for any potential damage. When a stapler drops, almost hitting his feet, he stares down at it, confused. Thinking it’s a weird bonus item the sex shop has sent him, he chuckles nervously, still searching. Each item he uncovers leaves him more and more baffled: a container of paper clips, a wad of sticky notes, bundles of red pens, another fucking stapler. Finally, he checks the shipping label ripped partially from his haste, whatever color remaining on his face draining completely.

This isn’t his. It’s yours.

Which means…

By the way, your neighbor says hi. She came into the mailroom.

She had her hands full, so I helped her carry a package.

Oh fuck.

~~~

It’s near midnight when you’re ready to turn in for the night. You almost forget about the box sitting idly on the floor by your shoes, exactly where you left it a few hours ago. With your computer all set up for work tomorrow, you think it’s best to organize your new supplies before you actually do forget. At your desk, you open the package with a pair of scissors, excited for the new staplers you bought, a standard one and a heavy duty one. It’s surprising how neatly it’s wrapped, covered in tissue paper like some sort of gift. After removing all the extra layers, you finally get to the reveal, which renders you speechless.

Nestled neatly amongst more delicate tissue paper, the translucent material almost luminous against the dim glow from the lamplight, is a sex toy. Call it what you want: a penis stroker, a male masturbator, a pocket pussy. There’s absolutely no doubt in your mind what is before you. A fucking fleshlight.

Besides the obvious appearance, the dead giveaway is the user manual included with it, displaying in big, bold print “The Cock Stroker 3000 – New and Improved!”. Lifting the box up to inspect the shipping label, you notice that it says Choso’s name, not yours. If you weren’t so stunned by this unexpected discovery, you’d be giggling at the absurdity of it all. Instead, you’re gawking at the lewd gadget, unsure what to do next.

“Fuck!”

An intense shout from the other side of the wall snaps you out of it. That’s the loudest you’ve ever heard your neighbor, and you can only assume that he has also just realized this unfortunate mix-up. There’s no way the two of you can pretend this isn’t happening. Besides, the last thing you want is for Choso to think you have a bad impression of him after this. Because you don’t, not one bit. It’s perfectly normal for people to have sex toys. In fact, it’s healthy. Even the thought of him using it on himself intrigues you. The hungry expression on his face, tongue lolling out of his mouth, those usually pale cheeks blushing a deep red. The obscene squelch of the wet silicone surrounding his engorged cock, leaking with precum. Closer and closer to the edge, ready to burst any second with your lips near the tip, ready to swallow his load…

You almost curse out loud yourself, ashamed for having such lewd thoughts about your sweet, innocent next-door neighbor. But maybe he’s not as innocent as you think.

Ultimately, you decide the best way to move forward from this is to nip it in the bud. With the opened package in your hands, you walk over to his front door, knocking three times. You hear a faint, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” from within, then hurried footsteps growing louder. Without removing the chain lock, he answers, peering at you through the narrow crack, not saying anything.

Nervous, you greet him with the best smile you can muster. “Hi Choso. I think there was a little mix-up.”

He clears his throat before mumbling a short, “Yeah.”

You glance away from him, staring at the floor, too embarrassed to meet his gaze for this next part. “I opened it without checking the label first. I’m so sorry.”

He shuts the door suddenly, startling you. There’s the distinct rattle of the chain being fiddled with and the door swings open fully, Choso towering over you, a serious expression on his face. He shows you a box, revealing all the office supplies you ordered earlier in the week. Without saying another word, you do the exchange, anticipating that this will be the end of it.

It surprises you when he apologizes quietly, focused on the small space separating you. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” He hides it behind his back, as if doing so will erase the image of it from your memory. “You must think I’m disgusting.”

You shake your head, ignoring the instinct to step closer and comfort him with a hug. The last thing you want to do is cross even more lines tonight. “I don’t, not even the slightest. It’s okay, Choso. This is totally normal and totally fine.”

“You don’t have to say that – ”

“But I mean it! I really do! There’s nothing wrong with it!” Desperate for him to believe you, you confess, “I have sex toys too, plenty of them!”

This time, he actually looks at you with a mixture of intrigue and skepticism. “You don’t have to lie for my sake.”

“I’m not lying!” you urge him.

He retreats inside his apartment, speaking once again through the crack. “I appreciate you trying to make this better, but I think it’s best that we never speak again. Goodnight.”

With that, he shuts the door, leaving you with a lump in your throat, devastated. In your frenzied attempt to fix this, you return to your room, searching your bedside drawer for your favorite vibrator. If words aren’t enough to convince him, then maybe actual proof will. Without taking a moment to reconsider the hole you’re digging yourself deeper and deeper into, you pound on his door, the sex toy clasped in your other hand.

When he answers, you shove it in his face, vindicated that you can prove your point with physical evidence. “See? I told you! I have toys too, so there’s nothing for you to be ashamed about.”

He squints at the vibrator squeezed in your fist as if inspecting it like a foreign object. “That’s it?”

You glare at him, offended by his response. “What do you mean?”

He tilts his head to examine it at another angle. “There’s only one button.”

“One button is all I need,” you argue, defensive about your favorite being criticized. “Sure, it’s small, but that’s what I like about it. It fits comfortably in my hand and with just a single push of the button, I can experience three different levels of intensity. What more do I need?!”

He smirks, amused at your rambling. “I just don’t see how something this simple can be useful, that’s all.” It’s the closest to a smile you’ve seen from him; it has your belly fluttering.

You hold back a laugh. “I bet it packs more of a punch than that Cock Sucker 2000 or whatever.”

“3000,” he corrects, grinning, causing your heart to race. “I haven’t tried it yet, but it’s the best on the market right now.” He hesitates, his next words coming out of his mouth slowly, testing the waters. “Maybe you can show me what your little toy can do. Prove me wrong.”

You never expected this from him, but that’s what makes this exciting. All you can think of in this moment is showing him just how wet you can get. “Fine,” you agree, stepping towards him. “But only if you show me what your little toy can do, too.”

~~~

Never in a million years did Choso predict that this would be the outcome of your bizarre mix-up. You, his next-door neighbor, on his bed, naked from the waist down. Your t-shirt riding up your stomach with your legs split apart, the cute vibrator you love so much pressed to your clit. He kneels in front of you, too transfixed at the erotic sight before him to give attention to the erection strained in his sweatpants.

“You’re next,” you say, glancing at his lap.

He nods, all the confidence he had just a few minutes ago when he initially proposed this idea thrown out the window. Now, he’s back to being his nervous self, afraid to be vulnerable with someone he barely knows.

You set the vibrator beside you, closing your legs. “Are you okay?”

He’s frozen, tempted to call the whole thing off. Go back to being neighbors and nothing more. Go back to being lonely Choso and pathetic Choso, who’s scared of everyone and everything and –

“Hey.” It’s only now he realizes that the two of you are face-to-face, foreheads pressed, noses touching. Your voice is gentle, your palms soft on his cheeks. You smile at him, full of warmth and compassion. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been with someone,” he admits. “I’m nervous.” A myriad of what-ifs play out in his head. What if he’s bad? What if you don’t like it? What if this ruins whatever sliver of hope the two of you have at being friends? At being anything more?

“We’ll go slow then,” you assure him, brushing your lips to his. That genuine smile of yours is enough to convince him that it’s worth the risk. That, and how fucking good it feels to have your mouth on his. He closes his eyes, leaning into the kiss, relishing the warmth of your breath. He finds himself gradually losing control of his inhibitions, his carnal instincts taking over, hungry for more of you. He slips his tongue inside, swirling around yours, kisses growing frantic and sloppy. You tug at the collar of his shirt, pulling him towards you. His heart pounds in his chest as he roams your body, fingers grazing your perked nipples from outside your top. You whisper his name, so luscious and sweet in your voice. He’d be lying if he said he’s never imagined it before. How you’d sound whimpering from his touch. How you’d feel between his massive hands. How you’d look with his cock filling you up to the brim.

He can’t stand it anymore. He’s aching, begging for release from the confines of his pants. Quickly, he removes them, freeing his throbbing erection. You gasp, marveling at the size of it. “Oh fuck, Choso. You’re so big.”

“Yeah?” he breathes out, fumbling for the Cock Sucker 3000 beside him. He slathers a generous amount of lube on his shaft and inside the toy. Foreheads pressed together once more, you both focus on his lap, watching it sink smoothly down his dick. The coldness of the lube and rubbery flexibility of the silicone surrounding him is familiar, though having someone spectate makes this all the more titillating.

“Fuck,” you swear, amazed at how it covers his entire length. You ogle at him as he starts slowly, eventually increasing to a steady pace. Your pussy flutters, incredibly aroused to see this man pumping his cock in front of you. For you.

“Do it with me.” His gaze flickers to the vibrator beside you. “You should feel good too.”

You spread your legs, displaying your cunt to him, already sopping wet with arousal. His eyes follow your every move as you tease the tip slowly up and down your pussy lips. Finding the right spot on your clit, you place your finger on the button of the toy, bracing yourself for what’s to come. As soon as you press it, the vibrations from level one alone are enough to send you wild. Knees shaking, feet flexing, moans pouring out of your open mouth. He continues to watch you, restraining his grunts as he strokes himself faster. Desperate for more, you click the button twice, increasing the vibrations to the max level. Within seconds, you’re coming, back arched and head thrown into the pillows behind you. Tossing the vibrator aside, you stare up at the ceiling, dizzy and disoriented from your ecstatic high, pussy shiny with your orgasm. Choso’s voice is so faint, you don’t understand him at first. You sit up to face him, waiting for him to repeat himself.

“Can you ride my face?” he asks meekly.

More than willing to accept his request, you nod in response, grinning. His expression relaxes and when you lean nearer to him, palm pressed flat on his chest, he even cracks a smile as he’s lies down on the bed, eager to have you like this. You straddle him, facing away from the headboard while his head rests at the foot of the bed. Carefully, you lower yourself until his mouth is pressed to your pussy. His tongue circles your clit slowly and he releases his grip from his toy to hold onto your ass, squeezing the soft flesh firmly. You don’t take your eyes off each other as you rub yourself across his face, his mouth open, swallowing every drop of you. When you reach your second orgasm, you’re practically bouncing on him as he smothers himself deeper, humming in satisfaction as he sucks hard on your clit, flicking it with his tongue.

You lift yourself off him, spent and completely wrecked. Still, you want to touch him, treat him as well as he treated you, make him come as hard as you did. You position yourself between his thighs, admiring the silicone sleeve hugging his dick. “Your turn.”

Sitting up on his elbows, he watches as you grab hold of the toy, stroking him with it. He moans, tongue hanging of his mouth, drool leaking from the corners of his lips, eyes half-lidded. His moans turn into whimpers when you start cradling his balls with your other hand, his body twitching from the sensation. The tip peeks out from the other end, a thick wad of precum collecting at the slit, so enticing that you’re salivating for a taste.

“Your mouth,” he stammers, barely able to speak.

“What?” you ask breathily, inching closer and closer.

“Want your mouth.” He swallows hard, voice trembling. “Please.”

Excited, you remove the toy from him, in awe at the way his fat cock flops heavily against his abdomen. You take him in your fist, loving how hot and throbbing he is in your grip. He’s coated in lube and precum, so slippery with your fingers wrapped around his girth. Unable to resist any longer, you bow your head, licking the pearl off the tip, savoring the taste. He shudders, letting out a loud, “Fuck!”

It’s so much better than a toy. The wet heat of your mouth surrounding him is better than any masturbator, fleshlight, pocket pussy, whatever silly contraption he uses to get by. The swirl of your tongue gliding along the shaft, the vibrations of your moans as you take him all the way to the back of your throat, the view of your pretty head bobbing up and down his lap. Nothing in his collection compares to this. This is real. You are real.

He fucks your throat, unable to resist bucking his hips against you, timing his thrusts to meet yours. It doesn’t take much longer for him to be pushed over the edge. You pull off for a brief moment to smile at him, pumping him fast. “Come for me, Choso. Come in my mouth.”

At this, he completely loses himself, muffling his incessant moans into his forearm, too shy to watch you guzzle down his entire load until he’s milked of every last drop. You scatter delicate kisses along the entire length of him, even down to his balls. Too sensitive now, he pats you gently on the head, making you look up at him, a warm smile on your face. He smiles back, caressing your cheek, thumb grazing your soft skin. You lie beside him, nuzzling into his chest, listening to his heartbeat slow to a steady, relaxed pace. He slides his arm around you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Thank you.”

This world is a terrifying place for Choso Kamo. But with you in his arms, he feels a bit braver. He’s safe with you.

#choso kamo #choso x reader #choso smut #choso x you #choso jjk #jjk x reader #jjk smut #choso kamo smut #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo x you #kamo choso x reader #kamo choso smut #kamo choso x you

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fertilize-my-eggs · 8 months

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Hey I was wondering if you were still taking requests and if you are could I get a hawks x reader nsfw? One where the reader is super stressed from starting a new job and Hawks tries and find ways to distract her? Maybe starting with flirty jokes to them ending up in bed? Or them watching a movie and not watching the movie at all because hawks again has *other* ideas...

Stress reliever

Paired: hawks x fem! Reader smut

A/N: this is for all the hawks simps, it's been a while since I written about him but hopefully this satisfied all of you👁👁 ( I'm super sorry that this was in draft for the longest but I hope you enjoy this and worth the wait. ) I've been craving shigaraki content lately but now y'all simps are finally getting some hawk thirst content hope y'all enjoy😉💕

Warings: very horny needy hawks + ton of petnames + body massage/body worship + creampie + breeding kink + dirty talk.

"Come on baby, you're been working too much." Keigo whined at you, you were working on papers from your new job.

You start working at an elementary school teaching the little ones how to learn the alphabet and reading. At first it looks pretty easy but it's quite stressful. You want to pull your own hair out whenever the children start fights or cry out for their parents. It's not fun when your boss is strict, you sigh heavily and stretch a bit.

"I can't keigo, I gotta work on these papers. It's very important." Keigo lets out a dramatic sigh as he's leaning in to pull your waist close to him.

He gives soft light kisses on your neck, you would be very annoyed by this but you find him too cute being extra needy.

"I got an idea.." He pecks his lips to your ear, he's sound... Like he was breathing heavily.

"How's about I give you a nice massage?" He purrs softly, you thought about it but everytime he does it, it will lead him wrecking your insides each time. You look into his amber eyes as it has want and need as you let out a long sigh.

"Okay fine... But no funny business, just a few minutes." Oh you shouldn't have trusted him, keigo's smirk grew big... Very maliciously.

He removed his arms around your waist but he still wanted you so he pulled you up and you were basically dragged into your shared room.

Keigo grabs the lotion, one of his favorites, as he turns to you.

"Take your clothes off my dove." You raise your eyebrow at him.

"Is to help with the body message." You chuckle as you shake your head at him.

You slowly remove each clothes off making keigo stare a little longer on your soft naked skin now being revealed.

You lay on your stomach on the soft cozy sheets as he takes his time to warm his hands.

You look at him with little annoyance by his slow pace. The squeezed of the bottle echo in your shared room.

You let out a groan and felt his hands on your shoulder giving a few rubs, he moved to your back with soft strokes. The sweet smell of vanilla hits your nose as you lay your head to the side looking at keigo doing the work.

Things were going great when he grabbed hold of your cheeks, spead it a bit wide then he bit his lips to hide his groans.

"Mhmm your ass is so tender angel." Keigo squeezed more lotion onto your ass as he continued the massage.

You whine at his fingers kneading your soft skin. The fingertips trace your stretch marks and cellulite.

" So perfect… beautiful baby. " he hums softly as he continues to rub your skin.

Keigo groans out loud, you turn your head to the side to see him drooling at your beauty, his red wings spread out.

Keigo leans in to whisper seductively." Bet you will be even more beautiful with your belly being swole and round." He lay on top of you, grinding his hips softly, feeling his member get hard.

" seeing you being sweet towards those children… fuck~! " he nips at your neck as he pants quietly.

" Just think about it… our own little mini me looks just as beautiful as their mama." He goes to your ear as he begins to breathe heavily.

" let me have you… just please~.. do it for me yeah? " you couldn't find words to answer as you nodded your head letting him do whatever he pleases. You can't say no to your pretty boyfriend who is needy and wants you.

Keigo groans out as he leans away." Good girl. " he gently pulled his pants down a bit.

" Such a good girl~. always looks pretty for me. " you gasp out feeling his fingers sliding inside your hole.

" So wet for me my sweet dove. "The fingers go in and out as a slow tease way making you squirm, you start to get needy too, whining and move your hips back with his thrust.

" ahh not too fast baby girl. " he bites his lips as he holds your hips down. " You don't wanna end too soon yeah? " add two more fingers as he begins to go a bit fast.

You roll your eyes backwards as your saliva slowly slides down your chin.

" please kei… I want you please~. "Keigo hums softly as he rolls his hips on your thigh.

" Hmm, I thought you wanted to do your work. I can leave you alone after all~. " you can hear his teasing sing song voice as you feel his fingers sliding out as he begins to remove himself. This is how he always gets you every single time you get a body massage from him.

" no no no please don't~!! " you cry out as you try to grab his coat back.

" keigo stop teasing me already, I want your cock so bad~! Please don't leave me. " work every time as keigo has a smirk on his face.

" alright baby~." He pulls more of his pants down releasing his hard manhood.

He tapped your entrance as he's still teasing you, you whined out.

" please keigo… fuck me please~.. " you pout at him as he bite his lips hard, he can't say no to his beautiful baby.

He slid inside your tight velvet walls as he groaned out, the feeling is always incredible, he can't get enough of you and your voluptuous body.

He hump your behind, rolling his hips at a nice and slow pace. Your body is covered in sweats, his musky smell linger in your nostrils as you melted away. You grab the sheets for dear life as he pulls fully back to slam your inside, the drool dripping down the bed as it starts to shake uncontrollably by his thrusts.

His large hand finds itself on your neck as he chokes you a bit.

" my beautiful baby girl~ taking me so well.. auhh fuck~!!! " you choke a bit of your saliva but you didn't care, you were intoxicated by him and his thrusts made you lose your voice. Your mind is clouded with lust and only thinking about him and his pretty cock inside you.

He grabbed your hips upwards as he began to pound harder and faster, the loud skin slapping skin echoing in the room as you cry out his name for more.

" I can't last any longer.. mhmm cum with me, pretty girl and I'll give you your reward for being good to me." He whines out, the fingers sliding your soft skin to your core as he begins to rub your clit the way you like it.

Your toes curl in as you begin to reach your end. You cream around his throbbing cock as he goes faster at pace, his thrust becomes sloppy by the second.

" there it comes~ take it take it fucking take it all dove~!! " he chants your name over and over again as you feel the flow of his cum filling you up. The warmth inside feels nice as you mewling sweetly at him.

You lay there exhausted as he gives kisses all over your face, he pets your hair softly as he coo at you.

" don't worry about the paper babe, I'll help you out." You mumble something as you close your eyes shut.

Keigo gets off of you as he watches his cum slowly come out of your hole, he pulls his phone out to take a couple of videos and pictures of you.

He always loves it whenever he is alone to get off on the thought of you getting pregnant by him, it makes his heart swell with delight.

Keigo put his phone back into pocket, he leaned in to give you one last kiss as he walked away to where your paperwork is at.

You're having a good, nice sleep but you already know it's gonna be a long night once keigo finishes your work and comes crawling back to your shared bedroom.

#anime #mha #bnha #fanfic #minors dni #smut #hawks x you #hawks x reader #hawks x reader smut #breeding kink anyone?👀#bnha keigo #keigo x you #smut fanfics #needy hawks

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sophie-looks-at-stuff · 10 months

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Some random modern HotD headcanons :)

Hey y’all! So I kept thinking of some funny, and very specific headcanons for the HotD characters, so I decided to just make it a whole post. This will actually be my first “legit” post on here, lol! Anyways, this will include some headcanons about Aemond, Aegon II, Luke, Jace, Daemon, Rhaenyra, Helaena, etc. But hope y’all enjoy lol! :)

Ok, I am convinced that Aemond has a secret stash of tea hidden somewhere. He's even put them all in a very nice ornate, antique box. It's his guilty pleasure. He probably would have some Earl Gray, English Breakfast, maybe even some lavender mint for the evenings. He'd keep it secret because all the teas he's gotten are way too expensive, and special.

Luke is an avid Minecraft gamer. Like he's basically built Dragonstone, and the Red Keep in his server. He'll play sometimes with Jace, or maybe even Aegon. But he doesn't let them into that world. Aegon would probably blow it all up with TnT.

Speaking of gaming, I think some people are on the same page that Aegon would be some kind of gamer. He'd be up to date on all the new systems and gadgets. He'd be one of the firsts to have the PS5 when it came out. He probably plays a lot of Call of Duty. Maybe even some Valorant when he doesn't wanna fire up the PS. He'd definitely be cursing and yelling at the game, to the point where Alicent threatens to take it away.

While Rhaenyra watches her shows, House Wives, Rupaul's Drag Race, etc. Daemon pretends to be not interested, but really he's super invested. He'd be leaning against the couch, or the wall totally sucked in. And when Rhaenyra tells him to just sit down and watch with her, he's all like, "no no I don't even like this show". But then he'd say things like, "Well maybe if her gown was better made she wouldn't have been eliminated last episode".

Aegon gives me frat boy energy. And I know I'm not the first to say that lol. You already know he's planning all the parties, and picking the themes. I like to think he'd be very invested into picking the themes. They would be things like, dragon night, wear your fave dragon scale colors. Or something like, Dragonstone beach night, wear your swim suits and flip flops.

Alicent likes to knit. Or maybe crochet? It's her stress reliever activity after dealing with Aegon, and the rest of the boys. Helaena is always giving her new patterns or designs to try.

I think Alicent also likes to take the occasional Buzzfeed quiz. "If you were a cake flavor, here's what you'd be based on your star sign".

Helaena runs a very successful tik tok account. She'd post her outfits, and maybe some art or cool bugs she's found.

Aegon listens to a lot of Megan Thee Stallion and Kim Petras. He's blasting Kim Petras' Treat me like a Slut at least 5 times a day. He gets ready to it in the morning.

Aemond will get down to some Amy Winehouse.

Jace works at the local animal shelter as his summer job. He only got the job cause Rhaenyra said he needed to get out of the house. Plus Helaena also works there, so she helped him get hired.

Aemond would be a great bartender. Not with like actually interacting with customers, but he can make some great drinks. Like he's over here coming up with all these crazy cocktails. Although, like his tea obsession he keeps this on the low. He doesn't want Aegon asking him to make drinks all the time. Gods forbid he asks Aemond to bartend at one of the frat parties.

Helaena was a Monster High girl growing up.

Aemond has a motorcycle. It was his one rebellious purchase. Alicent hates it.

Luke can kick Aegon's ass in any game, video or otherwise. You name it, Call of Duty, UNO, Valorent, Go fish...

Rhaenyra has a bit of a sweet tooth, but she has to hide her candy stash, cause the boys will steal it in a heartbeat. Who would have thought Daemon would love lemon drops so much.

I really could go on forever, these are just too fun to write. But I'll leave it here for now lol.

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lettersfromverabookreview · 3 months

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The Percy Jackson Saga

What a saga! I´ve still yet to finish it (while writing this, but i´ll post it when I finish it), but it´s SO fun, such a light read.

My history with Percy Jackson series has MANY comes and goes and it intercepts with many characters of my life that definitely not align with the Percy Jackson books at ALL. Seriously, If by any chance you´re a pre-teen reading this and you seem to be a bully who reads percy jackson, why do you think percy has SUCH a bad time in the school?? Anyway, getting over the personal comment….

I was mainly attracted to it because the series has come out (watch it !! its definitely interesting) but the nostalgia has come back with a kick and I definitely relate to little Percy, Annabeth and Grover (none of them would love me calling them little, but they are kids!!! Give them a SECOND of peace please), a little misunderstood, a little lost, not only when I was a teenager, but now on my 20s I can def relate (in a sense) to this lost feeling.

I doubt it ever goes away, Hell (or Hades?), Its difficult even to the gods what is happening in the books!! Everyone has to make tough decisions every once in a while, sometimes is whether to have the literal sky to help the goddess Artemis to fight Atlas, sometimes is leaving a job!

And I definitely relate to the strand of white hair after going trough the stress. And yes, everyone has a difficult choice and sometimes some are tougher than others, (like cmon… my job change example its what Ive been going through but Im guessing that maybe having the sky on your back may be a lil more difficult) but difficult choices are difficult choices, and these books have helped me, at least, to get anxious over whether Percy was going to be able to save his mom, instead of me getting anxious of my life choices.

I´m sure that anybody reading this may be going through a tough time (I mean, not to wish that upon you, and if you say “nah thanks i´m good, having the best time of my life” great for you!!) and i definitely believe that these books may seem focused for children, and yes, the repetition of what happened the last books that appears in every book after the first one, it sure is annoying, but overall its a huge break for the brain! Its a nice reading, a nostalgic one, and a hug to the heart.

A good reminder that good friends are worth lifting the sky and more, that families may not be what we always expect, that blue food is DOPE, that what we see may not always be what it truly is, that friends are not always what they seem to be, and that enemies (or people who we are taught are “enemies”) may not always be enemies.

[Finally, as a last comment since I´ve finished reading now] Sometimes it is not only good but necessary to go back to your child-self. To embrace new experiences with the forgiveness of a mother, the strength of an adult, but also for the inner ability of a kid that's learning how to walk, to stand immediately back up and continue trying. Embrace your strength but also your weaknesses, continue always learning, get around people you would sacrifice yourself for. Remember that its good and also essential to rest (sometimes on a lost island surrounded by the daughter of Kronos that's actually good and leaves you with a bunch of questions), and never forget to get back home (or at give out a sign when you're well so that everyone around you knows that you´re fine, turning the light blue of the Empire State can be an example).

If you´re going through high school, read this.

If you´re a lil lost, read this.

If you´re pretty sure you may be a lost child to a Greek god, yeah sure, but also read this.

If you wanna learn more about greek myths! I mean they are not super explained sometimes, but they sure deserve a good google search afterwards, which is good brain food!

If you really like sloooooow burn romances, yeah maybe you may like this (super far from the actual trama of the story but its so TRUE how long Percy takes to realize y´know…the thing)

If you like cute Cyclops, who are NOT murder machines, read this!!

And you must definitely read this if you like the water!! -Vera

#percy jackson #pjo series #pjo fandom #pjo #annabeth chase #percy jackson spoilers #percy jackon and the olympians #grover underwood #pjo spoilers #pjo tv show #book review #booklr #booklover #book life #booklaunch

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rinbowaman · 9 months

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Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭

The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.

So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️

Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3

Heeseung's Message.....

MDNI18+ content below the line.

Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.

"What's wrong baby?"

Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"

Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.

"It's nothing." You sighed out.

Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.

"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."

His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."

Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"

Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.

".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"

His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.

"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"

Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."

"Like what baby?"

"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.

"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.

"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."

Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."

"Yeah but....."

"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.

Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.

"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."

"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."

You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.

Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.

"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."

Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.

"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."

"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"

"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."

Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.

"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."

Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.

"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."

The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.

"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.

"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"

Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.

"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.

"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.

"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.

"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.

"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.

Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.

"You feel me pretty baby?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"

"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"

"You gonna remember what this feels like?"

"Yes!"

"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."

"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"

"Harder or faster baby?"

"ugh! both! please both!"

Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"

"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"

"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"

"You my good girl?"

"Y....yes!!"

"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."

Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.

"Good girl.....my turn."

Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.

Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.

Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.

Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!

So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

#heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #heeseung smut #heeseung hard hours #enha x reader #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung fanfic #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enha heeseung #yandere enhypen #yandere x reader #yandere heeseung imagines #yandere heeseung

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bratzforchris · 9 months

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Hey! Would you mind doing a little work about Ash with an S/O (gn pls if you don’t mind) who does musicals on broadway and comes home from rehearsal one night super stressed and just comforts them? I feel like he’d be the best at giving hugs and making silly jokes to make you feel better! Feel free to ignore this and make sure to take care of yourself <33

Feel Better

❃

Summary: Above

Pairing: Ashton x gender neutral reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 788

A/N: Thank you for the request!

❃

You had loved Broadway ever since you were young. You’d spend hours every day researching the various actors and actresses and listening to the soundtracks. Throughout your childhood, you had worked desperately towards a performing arts school and then, hopefully, Broadway.

It had been to your great surprise and joy when you’d gotten accepted into Juilliard. You had been working for this since you were a child and your dream was finally, finally coming true. You’d moved to New York City with one dream in mind, and somehow, you had ended up getting it, as well as a dream you didn’t know you needed.

You’d met Ashton in the small cafe near your campus. You had simply had the intent of grabbing a latte before your rehearsal for the school’s production of Dear Evan Hansen, where you were playing the role of Zoe. Somehow, you’d ended up talking to the beautiful honey-blond man behind you, only to learn that he was a drummer in a band. Despite being strangers, you two had clicked instantly, with Ashton walking you back to Juilliard’s auditorium when it came time for you to be back at your rehearsal. It had been the start of a beautiful relationship that you still treasured to this day.

Flash forward one year, and you were in Dear Evan Hansen again, only this time, you were playing Zoe on Broadway and Ashton was your boyfriend. It really should have been a beautiful, full-circle moment, but at the moment you were much too frustrated to see that. Everything seemed to be going wrong at rehearsal today. It was tech week and somehow the costumes still weren’t right, the actor playing Evan kept forgetting his lines, and the spotlights continually went out, despite just being fixed. You loved your job, but sometimes it was beyond exhausting.

You sighed as you dropped your tote bag onto the floor of your and Ashton’s apartment in the Upper East Side. You could hear your boyfriend somewhere deep inside the apartment, singing to himself while tapping out what sounded like a new drum beat.

“Ash?” You called, sliding off your shoes and walking towards the sound.

Ashton was sat at his drum set in his bedroom-turned-studio, headphones on. He seemed to be deeply immersed in whatever he was working on, so you turned and went to leave the room, figuring you’d give him some space to work. However, the honey-blond caught sight of you from the corner of his eye and immediately slipped the headphones off.

“Y/N! You’re home!” he exclaimed happily.

You nodded softly, trying not to let your face display your emotions. You loved Ashton’s personality more than words, but sometimes his optimistic cheeriness was a bit too much.

“Is something wrong?” he immediately asked as he surveyed your features.

“I’m just…stressed is all.” You said quickly, trying to change the subject.

Your boyfriend walked over and wrapped you in a hug, squeezing tightly. “I’m sorry, my love. Wanna talk about it?” he asked gently.

You shrugged, unsure of what to say. “Everything was just going wrong today and we’re already so close to opening night.”

Ashton frowned, kissing your head. “I’m sorry, baby. I know how much this means to you. But you do know that everything else going wrong has nothing to do with your skills, right?”

You sighed. “I know. It’s just hard to feel like it’s not my fault when I have such a big role.”

He nodded, pulling you closer. “I completely understand that. It can feel that way in the band sometimes too. Y’know, when things just aren’t going right and people always say ‘the drummer is the backbone of the band’.”

You snuggled further into your boyfriend’s chest, nodding softly. “Thank you, Ash. I mean, thank you for understanding. I know you were busy, I’m sorry I just dumped all this on you.”

“Hey hey, no. None of that,” Ashton tipped your chin up with his pointer finger. “I love you, okay? I’ll always be here to listen to your problems, no matter how big or small they are and no matter how busy I am. Because I love you, and I’d do anything to see you happy.” he smiled and let out one of his goofy giggles.

You couldn’t help but giggle too at Ashton’s adorable sweetness. He was the perfect boyfriend in all facets and every day he proved that to you more and more just being himself.

“Now, what do you say we order takeout, yeah? I could go for shrimp fried rice and crab rangoons.”

You nodded eagerly, tugging him towards your kitchen to get the well-worn takeout menu from your favorite Chinese place. “Don’t mind if I do.”

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heyedora · 1 year

Text

been rewatching she-ra and man, in the shadows of mystacor will always be one of my favourite episodes. like, top 3 material, easily.

(cw: abuse mention (via talking about the themes of it in spop)

i mean, years ago when it first came out, as someone who had recently experienced severe abuse, the line "you have no power over me anymore!" like, changed something in me, it was incredible. that entire fight sequence with her and shadow weaver at the end, where SW is using her tactics again, but this time around adora is familiar with it and fights back - it's a super inspiring scene (always makes me cry). and at the time, it was so amazing for me to see, because it's important for people to see they're not their abuse and they can overcome it, right? but this time around i realized - the reason that adora has the strength to fight back is because of her connections with other people. she's been away from the horde for awhile now, and she has the comparison of how her new friends (who haven't known her that long!) treat her, and it's their belief in her, and the fact that adora knows, without a doubt, that they love her, that helps her recognize the manipulative way that SW is speaking to her. just a great episode all around for telling people that healing is possible and each day you spend healing, you gain just that bit more power to fight back.

something else this episode does a great job with? showing the dangers of toxic positivity! the entire episode, adora is severely on edge - she can't relax, she can't sleep, she's quite literally being haunted by shadow minions (let's call those manifestations of trauma/abuse, for the sake of this post). glimmer and bow keep assuring her she's safe, and the danger can't reach her here, and they mean well, but this makes adora even more anxious. and it's because she is in danger, because SW is there, and she knows it. this is almost like, textbook what i learned in therapy - after a traumatic situation, it will take a long time before your body knows you're safe (i could go into detail about how trauma lives in your nervous system but i'll save that for another day). for adora, the threat is still there, even if other people can't see it. forcing her to relax isn't going to help anything. and through the ep, bow and glimmer slowly try to help in other ways - even when they finally let adora talk about what's worrying her (her history with SW), that helps her a bit because she can get the comfort she needs. and after listening, bow suggests trying something else, like "hitting something", because he's trying to understand how she best deals with stress. but it's not until adora faces SW - her feelings, the danger - and acknowledges that she was right, the danger was there, but! she has new skills now, and is surrounded by loved ones, and she can fight back - that's when the feeling/the shadows go away. and then, the best part!!! glimmer and bow apologize because they realize that they needed to really listen to adora and let her feel her anxiety and her feelings, not force her to ignore them and focus on other, more relaxing things. and then, after she's faced those feelings and has talked about them, she's able to admit she's tired, and she falls asleep on the beach. and when she wakes up in a panic, who's there, keeping watch over her? glimmer and bow (i literally tear up every time). because they learned what adora needs, and what adora needs is to be allowed to be scared, with her friends right by her so she feels safe being afraid. it's just a great lesson, especially for a kids show, that all your feelings are valid - even fear and anxiety.

and!!! during the fight with SW, she can't activate her sword or become she-ra - but when she decides to stand up to SW, the sword turns into a shield for the first time! because it doesn't take power to stand up for yourself. she holds that shield and defeats SW as adora. because you can do it afraid. you can face your feelings and release other people's power over you, and you don't need to be scary or offensive to do it, or even strong, you just need to have the desire to protect yourself. GOD. this show.

#she ra and the princesses of power #spop #she-ra #in the shadows of mystacor #shadow weaver #adora #adora spop #shera #spop adora #shera and the princesses of power #okok it's like 1am so i had to stop but #i have more informal essays brewing about adora and catra and their parallels and even perpendiculars (sorry that's my new favourite joke)#i love this show sm #my post

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nightshiftpodcast · 8 months

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Hi!

Are there any news regarding season 2? I keep circling back to the asked you answered in June, and just get really curious!

I hope everything goes smoothly on your side, and I look forward to hearing more of this story!

Wishing you a nice day.

Hey, thanks for asking!

I've been meaning to put something out about delays for a few weeks but I've been struggling to find the words and energy. Before I get into it I want to emphasize that these are only delays and I just need more time to complete season 2, which will still be coming as soon as I can get it done. Thank you so much to everyone who has been beautifully patient and remained excited about Season 2 even though I'm a couple of months behind what I predicted!

I won't go too deep into things, but I want to give at least some kind of explanation as to why I'm so behind on everything:

1. Serious illness in my family earlier this year threw off the schedule originally. I lost a good couple of months of productivity through Jan-March because between that and planning my wedding in April, the stress made me sick too. All is well now with both, but I've been struggling to get everything back on track since.

2. I've been promoted twice this year, which is great, but I'm busier and in a pretty intense senior role now that takes up most of my energy and brain power during the week. Last year when I wrote Season 1, I didn't have a full-time job, and I really didn't anticipate the difference.

3. Finally and foremost really, partly because of the points above, I'm struggling with some pretty serious burnout, and I've tried to push through it to finish writing but ultimately I know that's never effective.

Realistically I need to take some time to wind down from creating to recover, although the guilt of trying to get this second season made quickly enough is eating at me.

I'm really super sorry for the delays - it's nothing on the production end, everyone including me is still really enthused to get on with it, it's just that I've hit a huge wall creatively and mentally and the podcast is taking the brunt of it. I really want to get back on track as soon as possible, because I love this show and I want to see Season 2 come to life this year.

Any advice on what to do to get past the burnout and block is greatly appreciated.

And thank you again for everyone's patience, you're all superstars 💚

- J

#night shift audio drama #night shift podcast #fiction podcast #audio drama #delays #I'm sorry #send asks

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for suggesting that my friend (A) NOT focus so much money into her little brother's (B) top surgery?

their family, while not toxic or abusive, is a little more close (or enmeshed?) than i ever was with mine. and thats great! it works for them and i love how much they care for each other. but A is 25 and married, significantly in debt, has a kid (on purpose) and her husband hasnt earned that much in the years since he went straight from high school to the work force. he now has a job getting like 25-30 an hour i think, but still thats not a lot for their situation. she had a salaried job (about 30k/year) but it wasnt working for her and she decided to quit. which i totally support, the position wasnt great for her and she wasnt great for the position. if she hadnt quit, she woulda been let go. she's looking for new jobs now.

anyway, all this to say, they are NOT flush with cash. and yet, every penny they have left after basic needs is being put toward B's top surgery- before even paying down their debt.

i especially want to know if i'm the asshole in a transphobic sense, because part of my reasoning is that B is a super skinny kid, and only 15 years old. he has an A cup at most. and the family had to jump through a million hoops to get permission or whatever for him to get his top surgery as gender affirming care.

i've brought up the idea that maybe B waits till he's 18 and gets it as an elective/cosmetic procedure, because the cost will be about the same to do that versus to get it as gender-affirming care under insurance. and that gives B time to save up his own money, and his family more time to organize their finances and contribute their parts. but A never seems to give a direct answer for why their family is so set on B getting his surgery before he's 18. of course i believe he should be allowed to by law and he shouldn't have has to go through so much trouble.

but B works summers only, at a low-paying job (ive worked the same job when i was a teen, it isnt enough to save up much) and is depending on his family for all this, even though his sister (A) and parents are all in rough spots financially. A just seems so stressed about money and i wonder if i'm the asshole for thinking she should just focus on her and her little immediate family for a while till theyre back on their feet. its noble and caring to be so invested in B getting the care he needs, but it's hurting A's finances, mental health, and family stress levels.

of course at the end of the day, it's none of my business. i'm A's friend, not life coach or money manager or anything else. i'm just curious what the aita voters think about all this. if i were to push the issue and make suggestions, would i be the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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queen-mabs-revenge · 1 year

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well. that was an episode of something alright.

no but truly whatever is happening is so fucking disappointing wrt the emotional journey and catharsis for these characters, and honestly i feel condescended to as an audience member and as a football fan. you can't just slap an isolated didactic speech over a heart tugging score and call it story telling, you can't take an 11th hour 180 turn while ignoring the characters for 10 episodes and call it character development, and you can't take a story of mass working-class fan protests against club owner greed and give it to a rich white lady as her slay girlboss story without it being actually gross.

sorry but this was 63 minutes...of what exactly?? just going through the story lines in some kind of vague order of least to most consequential for sam, keeley, roy, rebecca, and nate and this gets long so under the cut it goes:

sam - what was this supposed to even be? ok so you bring back edwin akufo for the superleague story (which by the way, changing this to the akufo league instead of the story's inspiration the european super league - which was proposed by white european billionaires - is some level of racism i can't even...) to do what? get some laughs in by retreading the grudge? putting sam through the ringer again for...??? what was the end result here? like i'm genuinely asking bc i don't understand what i'm supposed to get from his being all smiley and putting the nigerian national team photo in his locker? he's happy because jamie gave him a shout out and that's good enough for him? what the fuck is this even supposed to mean?

keeley - what was the purpose of any of this genuinely. the amount of time we spent with kjpr and i have no idea what keeley does, if she's good at her job, how she's built her relationships with her silent co-workers. when she was at richmond we got to see her in action and her stories brought out not only her own character but other characters we cared about. keeley has been utterly passive this season - her biggest moment of agency was hiring shandy and that was exploded and scrubbed from the narrative. everything else from jack to the leak to being defunded just happened to her and she cried about it. and now rebecca's swooping in to refund her again and genuinely what is even happening here? the conflict for her character that was set up last year was that she was experiencing success in a completely new way and she was scared she wasn't going to live up to it and the conflict between the work she felt she needed to do to live up to expectations and how that would affect other relationships in her life, especially that with roy. how was that addressed? at all? we've seen her nebulously stressed, we've been told she's working a lot without being allowed to experience what she's doing, we've seen her try and emulate both ted and rebecca without success, and what? what else? a couple of looks between her and roy? her getting picked up and put down by a vc funder both financially and personally? what kind of synthesis has she reached here???

roy - which brings us to roy. we get the 'i'm talking about my football career but actually i'm talking about my relationship with keeley' in the chelsea episode which was great because it set up a conflict for roy this season - the idea that he cuts and runs to put distance between himself and moments of vulnerability to avoid possible failure and as a result never truly engages and enjoys experiences or people in the moment. great brilliant amazing love it -- what the fuck happened. i feel like you can vaguely connect something about how his training jamie is teaching jamie not to do what he did - to actually give his emotional all to his development as a footballer instead of detaching when things were at there most frustrating with zava there. that where roy used his anger and gruffness as a mask, jamie was using his cockiness but both to the same end of detaching from a situation they felt was out of their control. but i feel like i'm carrying a lot of water with all that, and while yes there have been moments of roy being more open this season, he's for a lot of it been relegated to weird comic relief if you can even call it that? (sorry but the rope monologue and the dick string training are both fucked up and weird and went on for way too long). he pulled a ted at the press conference (and told someone else's miscarriage story hmm)? he and keeley have been kept apart for the entirety of this season so like....i don't know? what was this? a fake holiday to wedge in a scene with his sister, phoebe and jamie? an epiphany that he was a mess? that he caused damage? and he writes a letter and now everything's good roykeeley back on track? the fact that they were kept apart for the majority of the season just feels like.......was any of this actually sorted through? did we experience either of these characters interact in any way where they challenged each other in this journey? that lead up to this reconciliation? this culmination feels so unearned.

rebecca - and speaking of unearned, the entire set-up for her arc of getting the fuck over rupert and finding joy in the team without it being about someone else was there. from her rashness in swooping zava from under rupert's nose, to her yelling at ted about winning, the 'him-you-mean-them' conversation, her maniacal behaviour at half-time during the west ham game. but where was the move out of this? she met a guy on a boat? she..........what??? how have we seen her grow out of this moment? what have we seen besides this deus ex machina of....what? remembering a story about rupert's childhood and bing bang boom - oh he was just a child once too? and the end, job's a good'un? fast forwarding through the total football catharsis short-shrifted rebecca, too. if the football is the expository tool to reveal things about our characters, the idea that a strategy that puts a singular thing at the focus to the detriment of everything else is bad for football and it's bad for people is a great narrative device. but...just as we're being told and not shown that it's working on the field, we're getting the same treatment off. rebecca is realising that the community both in and around the club is more fulfilling than a psychic's quote unquote predictions and using the club as a tool for narrow-focused spite -- ok show that??? show her reactions to the fans attending training. show other small moments where she enjoys the game? puts the club above embarrassing rupert at all costs? that moment with higgins talking about possibly firing ted bc of the winless streak could have been a glimpse of that but it was thrown away instead (but to be honest, how much of that is a retreading of her journey in s1?). so what do we get instead - girlbossery with, i'm sorry, a really fucking beyond heavy-handed moment with seeing her young self in the mirror? that does what? tells us that she's able to stand firm in a room full of men? did we...not know that? that she realises she's in it bc she loves the game? does she?? again, by not seeing the moments of total football triumph, we missed out on the opportunity to show her falling in love with the sport and becoming a true fan, not just an owner. if that's even what i'm supposed to be getting from this!!?? not to mention that her big moment of realising passion for the beautiful game was more important than her spite was directly ripped from the headlines but completely twisted. as i mentioned before, in april 2021 a bunch of white european billionaire club owners did indeed try to form a european super league out of a closed group of 12 of the richest european clubs, but clear cash grab wasn't stopped by a rich white lady having a moment of #selflove and altruistic benevolence, it was stopped by a mass protest of working-class fans pointing out the clear capitalist greed of the move:

nate - and god if all of this isn't just a slap in the face to nate's character arc. again, the set up of the first two seasons was clear and great! nate's struggle with self-worth especially rooted in his inability to live up to his father's expectations; his being bullied and undervalued and then clinging to someone who was giving him the affirmations he was craving, his projecting those unresolved issues onto ted who both couldn't live up to those expectations, and who made his own mistakes as he struggled through his own personal turmoil and mental health issues. the way all of those unresolved issues and referred anger came to a head for the both of them in nate's exposing ted's panic attacks to try and hurt him the way he felt hurt. and then falling into the arms of someone who was ready to exploit nate's talent and insecurity for his own gains. it's so good! it's so fucking good that it's bananas that we barely get to see any of his reconcilation play out! we get the beginning with rupert's emotional manipulation on display...and then what? nate is sidelined for the majority of the season! he's absent in some episodes altogether! HE QUITS HIS JOB OFF SCREEN AND WE GET NONE OF HIS INNER THOUGHTS AS TO WHY EXACTLY AND WE'RE LEFT TO DO THE WORK OF FILLING IN THE BLANKS??? we get that tell-not-show moment with his family with his dad's map, but like then there's no significant interaction between nate and his father until this episode? we get most of nate's personal development through his relationship with jade instead of diving into his relationship with his parents and teasing that out to build up to the emotional cathartic moment in this episode? there's so much untapped complexity in nate's arc! that tension with his parents, how the pressures both his father as an immigrant and himself as first gen are amplified by the pressures of rigid masculinity. how his father felt the need to stifle that creative sweetness in himself to make sure nate succeeded and had the best opportunity because of the combined pressures of race, class, masculinity, and feeling out of his depths when faced with his son's brilliance. nate's conflict between expressing his own softness and creativity v his feelings of the expectations of masculinity and success. so much of that could have been drawn out instead of sidelined and then infodumped and concluded in a few minutes of one episode! look! nate plays the violin aren't you feeling emotions? so many minutes of nate laying in bed and so few of the exploration of his and his father's dynamic that was set up to be the hingepoint of his frustration, insecurity and anger that manifested in his ruptured relationship with ted and richmond! and it's back to the total football -- that jade is part of his development isn't a bad thing! showing nate as becoming fulfilled both familially and romantically is actually good, esp for a character of colour! the idea that a healthy life is a full life with many different elements of one's community playing in tandem and concert to build towards a fulfillment and joy! but like...ok??? do so that???? and not all in one moment with All The Right Words At The Same Time???? what the fuck man this feels so fucking surface level and i just with the sheer amount of minutes given to episodes this season, what the fuck were they spent on if not this???

i'm sorry, but epiphany moments like the four (four!!!) in this episode work in romcom movies because we have 90 minutes with the characters. we accept certain shorthand for character growth because we understand the constraints of the narrative framework. it's bananas and fucking lazy to think that's OK for a serial format, especially one that's ballooned in time over the past season! what the fuck have those minutes been used for except for apparently spinning the fucking wheels on all of these development arcs until the last saccharine moment? aren't you crying with emotions, hmmmm?????

none of this feels earned and i feel genuinely gross at being thrown a few Emotionally Coded scenes and being expected to have my little heartstrings pulled enough that the squandered and self-indulgent mess of this season - that threw all of this character development into the trash - doesn't matter. we've spent years with these characters, the first two seasons carefully set up deep conflicts that should have been given careful and deep resolutions.

instead this episode gives us a naked ass and insists that it's clothed in glorious tie dye.

it's a naked fucking ass. and whatever patchwork loincloth the last two episodes whip up, it can't make up for the wasted potential, laziness and self-indulgent disaster of jason sudeikis's showrunning.

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso critical #seriously dead dove do not eat #but like...fairly i think? dead fair dove do not eat lmao #anyway trent crimm you will always be famous please make it throught the last two relatively unexplored #and therefore relatively unscathed by whatever the hell is going on here

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ros3ybabe · 8 months

Text

Daily Check In September 15th and 16th, 2023 🎀

I was a bit stressed on Friday. And really tired. Like crying on the phone talking to my dad about how tired I was. I did not want to go to work, but I did and had a goodnight regardless. Everything worked itself out and I stopped stressing so hard. I was gonna rest before I had to go to work but my friend decided to talk my ear off for an hour about her family woes, even after I told her I wanted to rest my brain for a bit. I love helping my friends when I can but sometimes I just need a break from socializing.

there’s not much to update on but I’ll give an update regardless!

🩷 What I Ate Sept 15th -

Breakfast - bagel sandwich and a coffee

Lunch - bagel w whipped cream cheese and another coffee

Dinner - Alfredo pasta w spinach and chicken and a small salad w egg, cheese, and a little ranch dressing

Extra - morning coffee at home and not near enough water. Also some mini mint chocolate candies, like three

I was really feeling bagels. They were so good.

🩷 What I Ate Sept 16th -

Breakfast - Scrambled eggs on brioche style bread with slices of cheddar cheese

Dinner - Two bowls of spaghetti with marinara sauce and grated Parmesan cheese

Snack - macaroni cup, three cups of coffee

I just realized I didn’t take a break to eat lunch at work today. That is the first time I’ve ever forgotten to do that.

🩷 What I Accomplished Sept 15th & 16th -

Worked a total of 13.5 hours at my job

A lot of self compassion and rest

Morning skincare and night skincare routine (sept 16th)

Studied Japanese 10+ minutes each day

Reorganized my desk with my new desk supplies

I received some new acrylic desk organizers, stationery, and Japanese study books today! I bought two writing workbooks and I bought the Genki I and Genki II textbook + workbook + answer key bundle off of Amazon and I am so excited to start using them all soon! In my Japanese studying so far, I’ve memorized almost the entire hiragana chart and started keeping a physical list/anki flashcard set of hiragana vocabulary off of Duolingo and have been practicing my writing on Renshuu. Renshuu is surprisingly such a great tool for me right now, like it’s the complete reason I memorized the hiragana so fast. My plan is to start using Genki I right after I memorize (most of) the katakana. I’ve been listening to Japanese music a lot and talking out loud to myself on occasion. I’m just super excited about this language.

I think I’m quickly approaching the edge of burnout right now and I’m desperately trying to find a way to delay the burnout or stop myself from burning out altogether because I have too much on my plate to just lose myself now. Like I’m genuinely enjoying everything I do in a day but it’s tiring me out. I don’t sleep very well right now, I’m not working out, my nutrition isn’t the best, I over-consume caffeine and I’ve been neglecting my self care. I am working to regain balance because I don’t want to tire myself while trying to build the best life for myself. Todays first step was keeping my promise to do skincare and study Japanese. Tomorrow will be skincare, weekly planning, and completing my due assignments and notes. If I can rebuild trust with myself, I have a good feeling I can get back on track with my daily ideal routines. Just need to take it one step at a time.

I know my blog appears that everything is so great and girly and perfect for me but my life is not like that entirely. I do romanticize my life in the way I live it, I am the main character if my own story, but life is life and stuff happens. I don’t have the perfect body or health, I don’t have the best discipline or motivation sometimes, and yeah, my life isn’t perfect. However, I am still so grateful for the life I am currently living, a life that I never thought I’d be so content with. This blog has helped me determine the direction to go in and keeps me motivated often, and I am so at peace and proud of all that I’ve built and have had help creating for myself. Thank you to everyone who reads this. It is the little interactions, the daily notifications, the pride I get from my consistent updates that keeps me level. This is therapeutic for me in a way. Like an online diary. And I absolutely love the space it’s given me to be my true self, my most comfortable self. I am not perfect but i am happy. Happy with my progress and my journey and my community.

Sorry for the little joyful ramble. Again, I appreciate this community so much. I wouldn’t have driven my life in this path without this community.

🩷 Song of The Day - The Greatest by Sia

One of my all time favorite motivational songs. Just listen to the lyrics. Absolutely simple and amazingly powerful.

that’s all for these last two days! Will be getting more detailed in my daily accomplishments, and am working on a stationary review though I did order more so I might way until it gets here to complete the review post!

Til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

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polyamorouspunk · 1 month

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So I (24, nonbinary) have been casually seeing this guy (38) that I've know for quite some time; I lost my virginity to him and it was fun and easy and honestly things had been great.

And then I was a little bit too high and confessed that I love him and he was super sweet in the moment and just held me and told me he's not comfortable saying the same because he's not sure

That was a couple weeks ago, the last time I spent the weekend. A few days ago I asked if he wanted to hang out again soon, but he didn't respond until today. He had a lot going on and also had to put his thoughts in coherent order, which I can respect. But reading his texts this morning has fucked up my whole day.

He's been really gentle in trying to let me down easy, I know he's still fucked up over his last relationship, and he's got two kids (both under 16) to think about; not to mention that I know he's worried about the age gap (he mentioned that I have so many possibilities ahead of me and I wanted to throw my phone).

I've got issues so I'm taking it really hard. Like this is definitely something I expected and yet I'm still super hurt. I don't really have anyone I'm comfortable talking about this with, and I'm sorry for dumping it all on you but I saw your little sleepover post and I could honestly use a hug and some positive vibes right now.

Okay okay okay so I know you know this is a LOT to unpack.

Mkay so I am 24 also (hi) some form of not cis (hi) and do have a crush on someone a fair bit older than me (33, not 38 though).

I love the idea of being with older men. The last guy I was seeing was 2 years older than me so like 26 now. Loved it. Love when older guys are interested in me. He was also going through a divorce and his son had just been born. It was a lot. I liveblogged the whole thing on here.

Dating older men comes with issues like that. And I have bpd so as soon as I FP someone yeah I’m instantly in love with them.

Dating older men can be hard when they say things about your future and shit like that- and I GET it, like it IS good advice even if you don’t want to hear it. I mean, when WE were under 16 how many people gave US good advice we didn’t want to hear at the time.

It sucks when you fuck up a good thing you had by confessing that you’re in love with someone who is not mutually in love with you. It reeeeally fucking sucks. Because either you hold that inside of you and you push it down and push it down and push it down, or you finally release it, let it go, and it fucks everything up.

There is no reason for you not to be hurt/upset about it even if you did expect it. Grieve. Let yourself grieve. Come into my inbox and dump all of this on me. Let people around you help you heal. Let me send you some love. I am holding your hand. I am telling you to some degree I have been there. To some degree I am there. And I know it gets better. Some day you’ll be like me, and you’ll be driving to work, and you’ll put on a new Fall Out Boy album that just came out, and you’ll cry, and you’ll realize through all the bad things, through all the shit and the hurt, this is why you stayed alive. You lived to be 23 so that you can hear Fall Out Boy put out new music.

And then you’ll be 24 and you’ll meet someone and they’ll change your world. And you think about how amazing it is that someone like this touched your life in some way, and that you can touch yours back. And you’ll meet up with old friends and make new ones.

And we’re so young, we’re SO young. It’s fucking wild to imagine this year (or next year) we’ll be half way to 50. That’s batshit insane. But like oh my god. The healing process that I’m going through is beautiful. Sure, there is a lot of stress. I’m failing the last class I need to graduate. My job stress is through the roof. I’m chronically ill. But outside of that I truly am continuing to live my best life every day.

I don’t know if you plan to try and keep on seeing him casually or if this really is the end for you. Either way this is just a bump in the road. 38 is so young too. We’re going to be okay. It’s a bad day. It’s gonna be a bad week. It might even be a bad month. Hell it might even be a bad year. But goddamn it if they don’t mean it when they say it’s not a bad life. It’s supposed to be almost 70 later today. I’m going to go work outside in the sun. My heartbreaks can’t stop me from creating art that I love. I saw a butterfly yesterday. Life is beautiful. Love is beautiful. Emotions are messy. They are disgusting. I hate them. But they’re poetic too.

Hell maybe this is all some Kumbaya bullshit I’m spouting. Idk. But I believe it. I really do. It takes work to believe in this shit. But it feels so much better when you do. Probably why cults work so well. Anyway!

It’s amazing that you got a chance to be with someone who is 38! I hope you look back on it fondly in a few years. And if you don’t then you’ll look back on yourself with kind eyes and think that at least in that moment you were happy and felt like it was what was best for you.

#punk gets mail #long post #dreamer anon

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lantur · 2 months

Text

updates,

I was pretty stressed last Saturday because I was feeling mentally burned out and exhausted and had to work for part of the day, representing my organization at an event and making a presentation :/ It ended up going well, I met some nice people, and got an interesting idea for my next work project. The rest of the day was wonderful - Derek and I played board games and went out for dinner at our favorite neighborhood Chinese restaurant. ❤️ We've been eating out a lot less over the last six months or so, just like once a month, so it was a special treat.

Sunday was a great day. I had a fun morning workout and went to a horror play at Theater Mu. I love them - they're the largest Asian American theater company in the Midwest and their shows are always so well written and acted. I'm really happy to have been able to attend more plays over the last six months or so. Living in a place with so many local theater companies is my favorite part of living in the Twin Cities.

I also made a new recipe for dinner that night that turned out super well - hot honey crispy baked salmon bowls with broccoli. :)

I have been limping and crawling through this work week. Work has been overwhelming for almost a month straight. I'm grateful to have a leadership role, but it's challenging and exhausting to not just work on my own solo projects and to-do list items, but to lead and support others every time they have a problem or need something, which is often.

This week also became challenging because my mom reached out to me on Tuesday night (a day after my last post on here where I said that I was sure I hadn't heard the last from her yet, ironically) and told me she was planning on moving to India later this year. I had to handle that conversation in a more polite way than "don't let the door hit you on your way out." Talking to her, as always, brought up a lot of negative feelings. She said she wants to see me before she leaves, but I held off on committing to that - partly because of the reason below.

On a more positive note, I had my long awaited appointment with my new OB-GYN yesterday :) I really like her. She's experienced, she's from the same culture as I am, and she left me feeling with a sense of knowledge and optimism about this whole pre-conception and conception process. I'm going to go off the pill when my current pill pack is over at the end of March and then start tracking my cycle to see what it is like, if/when I ovulate, etc. I have PCOS, so the question of whether I ovulate naturally is yet to be determined. I've been on the pill for my entire adult life and during my teenage years to treat PCOS, so I'm curious and a bit nervous to see what happens when I'm off it. I'm curious and excited to see if/when I could conceive this year.

I'm writing this while I wait at the airport for my flight to Tokyo. This trip snuck up on me after I booked it. As recently as last week, I thought that my trip was 3 weeks away - even though I theoretically knew it started on March 7. Then I realized March 7 was next Thursday and not 3 weeks away. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I'm really excited to have this time for myself. I push myself really hard at work, at home, and with personal development goals. I enjoy what I do. I like grocery shopping and cooking, I like working out, I like studying Spanish every day. I even like my job, most of the time. But sometimes it just feels exhausting to juggle it all, and it's so nice to take time where I'm not doing anything for anyone else but myself. :) It feels especially timely because I hope to start my master's in social work program in September, and I hope to possibly be growing the family by then too!

#lanturing

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silvertherogue715 · 2 months

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Hello! How are you doing? apologizes for being late I got a bit busy this week and wasn’t able to send in an ask that fast ;-; but I brought Terra his coffee

(This particular blend is called death wish coffee this stuffs got 165 mg of caffeine in it… in other words don’t let any menaces get to it.)

since Terra’s the one getting the coffee I thought we focus on him for this ask. Relationship wise I’m curious on his relationships with his fellow stardroids (romantic or otherwise) and his relationship with humans(particularly Minx)? Does he know any earth Navi?

What is his job in the stardroid group I assume from the sketches of him he keeps an eye on any Navi trespassing near by specific regions? I also assume he’s the second in command or another job or rank?

How exactly does Terra act like emotionally? Besides how bad this man needs a coffee ;-; he looks so tired and done all the time XD.

Im also kind of curious as to how to came to deciding on his final design? I hope you have a great rest of your day/night! Thank you!

I'm doing well! Thank you for asking. Don't stress about taking time to send questions, I get super excited to see them all the same! If anything, I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. Been busy and art is very time-consuming :”)

Also, I love the cup design. Terra is gonna need every ounce of that caffeine! Long answer below. Art included!

Relationship wise I’m curious on his relationships with his fellow Stardroids (romantic or otherwise)?

Terra and Sunstar eventually become a couple in the AU.

Terra was created before any other Stardroid, and had the hardest learning curve–he takes pride in his work and is more or less a workaholic.

Sunstar was the last “Stardroid” activated, but had Terra to help him learn his new role. Kind of funny, given Sunstar was created to serve a role above him. Sunstar is happy to let Terra run things, though, for both of their sakes.

Both eventually bonded after spending enough time together, but due to plot reasons, it takes until present-day Earth for things to really move along for them.

Saturn is romantically interested in Terra, but it’s very one-sided. Terra primarily sees him as a frustratingly laid-back coworker, if anything.

…and his relationship with humans(particularly Minx)? Does he know any earth Navi?

Terra and Minx did not meet under...the best circumstances. A misunderstanding, yes, but not one that either would have been able to clear up prior to meeting. He regrets the outcome of it, but both learn to become semi-comfortable around the other eventually.

He has regrets--although he was not himself at the time.

Terra has mixed feelings about humans, he prefers them over the Earth’s…last inhabitants. He is a solitary individual, and does not have any friends (for now) outside of his ‘brothers.’ This will change!

Terra’s closest friends among the Stardroids are probably...Pluto, Venus, and Jupiter.

He knows most of the MMBN main cast’s Navis (megaman, roll, blues, shadowman, napalmman, etc). he also knows and favors minx's pet cat, Tango. Cat person.

He likes Napalmman, and is distrustful of Shadowman.

Terra respects Sofie and Nenji for their work ethic, and a cautious eye on Miyabi, but admires his abilities for a human.

He finds Lan annoying (who is also a highschooler in my AU)

He fears Dr. Wily, to a degree (plot reasons).

What is his job in the Stardroid group?

Terra is Sunstar’s second-in-command-but-not-really who maintains their spaceship and assigns the other Stardroids tasks.

The art you saw of him in a fighting stance was him getting ready to square off against Slur near the end of Arc 2. Terra is about the second strongest of the Stardroids after Sunstar–but does not fight often.

How exactly does Terra act emotionally?

“Tired and done” is pretty accurate for Terra’s personality, honestly.

He’s no-nonsense and likes to keep himself busy–burying himself in work is his way of coping with personal problems. Which, in itself, is a problem.

Earth forces him to change this behavior

Oh, you thought closing yourself off from others would have less consequences than being open? How cute.

Despite a cold demeanor and excellent poker face, Terra cares deeply for those around him. He’s not a softie like Sunstar at his core, but he can be surprisingly gentle.

Though he used to be a hardass, he’s mellowed out a lot since re-arriving* on Earth.

Unrelated–his lack of experience with building deep relationships or opening up to others makes him surprisingly easy to fluster, once the joke lands.

A secret romantic at heart? Who’d have known.

I’m not gonna lie, he’s kind of bland for a decent period of time. It takes him a while to unlearn a lot of emotional repression, but it also makes it all the more worthwhile when he’s in uplifted spirits.

If Sunstar catches this man smiling it’s game over

If Sunstar catches Terra without his visor? His month has been made.

I'm also kind of curious as to how you came to deciding on his final design?

THIS!!! Oh my god he was both a huge pain and super fun to work on (like most of the stardroids)

I wanted him to have an ‘admiral’ look to him! But also space-invader-y and elegant (to a degree)

The gloves were more to fit the ‘commanding officer’ vibe

His stomach-region is designed in likeness to a belt on the bottom and vest in the middle!

The fun poofy boots went more with the space invader vibe, but also to give him a more navi-like appearance.

His cable-hair and visor were strongly inspired by @liskobot’s Terra.exe design. They didn't have a ton of pictures of him, but they were a huge contributor to me even realizing the potential the Stardroids had to just exist in a MMBN universe.

Speaking of his visor–Terra absolutely uses it to hide the exhaustion in his face as well as his emotions. Reliable leaders need to stay composed, don’t they? >:)

The colors were done largely in part by my lovely dearest friend @hawkthespork. She’s a coloring GOD and helped me realize that not all of the stardroids have to have super saturated colors. I use saturated colors in my art a lot.

Until next time! Terra’s gonna enjoy his coffee in peace.

Some alt. cup designs:

#Luckily Minx hates the taste of coffee.#Dr. pepper for the win #Yes #the stardroids have been on Earth before #A very #very long time ago.#Terra has a soft spot for Fire-Navis and Darkloids #Slur and Terra are rivals in terms of matching each other in fighting power #*rearriving? Yes. I did not stutter. More plot #There’s honestly an ungodly amount to sort… I’ll let you set the pace #Feel free to ask about anything that stands out to you the most #Minx to terra: do you like your coffee like your men?#Terra: what?#Minx: hot.#dad jokes about her dad? more likely than you think #brainrotau #my art #stardroids #mmbnau #megaman #doodle #sketch #mega man battle network #terra.exe #saturn.exe #sunstar.exe #minx #sofie #ask #tag edit: I feel like i should clarify the hot joke was because Sunstar is a fire navi--not based on his looks.

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