#and it's thrown me for a loop repeatedly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lustfulslxt · 3 months

Text

Hellbent - Chris Sturniolo

summary : y/n and chris, so incredibly in love with one another, yet ruined by self sabotage.

warnings : angst, swearing, fluff, smutty, heartbreak, self-harm (if you squint)

a/n : this is the one :)) regular italics are flashbacks.

—

so who do i call now? i'd give it all now, just to be fighting in the kitchen and hearing the crash of broken dishes. thought it was bad then, this heartache is hellbent.

“Why are you pushing me away?!” She shouts, tears brimming in her eyes as the ache in her chest grows.

The two of them were everything and nothing at the same time. So head over heels for each other, but almost doomed from the start. Chris; scared to take things to the next step. Y/N; wanting nothing more than to take it further.

They were both in love with each other, but Chris couldn’t voice his concerns, instead, opted for trying to make her hate him. It was unconventional, yet it made the most sense to him. He loved her with every fiber of his being, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. However, the thought of furthering their relationship, making it real, scared him to death. There were so many factors in which caused him to pull back. Though, things would have been better off if he had just explained his worries, he chose to make things harder than they needed to be.

Y/N loved Chris more than any and everything in her life. She loved everything about him, and she wanted to be with him, more than what she had. She didn’t just want sex and casual conversation, she wanted love and passion. She could feel it between them, the most amazing love and deepest passion, but there was still a barrier between them. It was easy for her to read Chris, well usually, but their recent encounters had thrown her for a loop. She could feel the love from him, yet the unexplainable distance he put between them and the impenetrable walls he put up only made her head spin.

“Chris.” She half sobs, after receiving no answer from him.

He can’t bring himself to look at her. He knows the sight of her torn apart will break his heart, especially because he’s the cause of their wreckage.

“Look at me.” She begs, “Please, Chris.”

He deeply inhales, his eyes frantically darting around, unable to lift his head. His heart feels heavy. He knows he has no right to be sad, considering this is all his fault, but he can’t help but feel melancholy.

The sound of loud sobs spring through the air, and the sight of Y/N falling to her knees in his peripheral causes his head to snap over in her direction. There she sat, her body shaking with every weep that left her mouth. Her rosy cheeks glisten with a tremendous amount of tears, and her lips pull into the deepest frown he’s ever seen on her. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her eyes clenched shut.

Chris can feel the lump forming in his throat as he takes in her appearance, utterly heartbroken. Knowing he’s the reason she’s so distraught brings tears to his eyes. Hurting her is the last thing he ever wanted to do. His mind is racing; he’s unsure of what to do. He wants to take her in his arms and hold her close, profusely apologizing and taking it all back. Yet, part of him feels it’ll only make it worse. Without another thought, he joins her on the floor, his arms wrapping around her as he tries to console her.

Her cries only worsen as she fights to push him away, “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, repeatedly, like a mantra.

Her reluctance to accept his embrace continues, only for him to try harder. Tears inevitably slip from his eyes, he hates the predicament he put them in. He can feel her struggling die down as the energy diminishes from her body. Her body still shakes with sobs, but she can no longer put up a fight against him. There they sat, her body slump against his as his arms wrap around her.

“I am so sorry, Y/N.” He mutters, his voice croaking.

A few moments go by before she responds, “I just don’t understand. Things were going so well between us, and you can’t say that you don’t feel something deep for me. I know you, Chris. We’ve spent almost every day together for the last year, I know you inside and out. But what I don’t know, is why the sudden change? Why are you pulling back?”

Again, he doesn’t answer, which only infuriates Y/N. She harshly pulls herself from his hold, turning around to face him. His face is ridden with sorrow as he looks at her with sad eyes.

“You’re giving me absolutely nothing! You’re leaving me in the dark about it, I do not deserve that. I’ve been nothing but good to you despite how you’ve been the last couple of weeks. The least you can do is tell me what changed.”

He sighs, struggling to find the right words to say. He can’t bring himself to tell her the truth, and he knows whatever he says won’t matter. She’s going to be hurt regardless. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, letting his head fall back.

“I don’t feel anything for you.” He lies through his teeth.

“Bullshit.” She snaps.

Even though she knows he’s lying, his words still hurt. She doesn’t understand why he can’t just be straightforward with her. He’s never lied to her before, why now?

“I don’t feel anything for you.” He repeats, his eyes now staring into hers, looking void of emotion.

Her heart feels like it’s shattering all over again. She’s never had to deal with this type of hurt before. She’s never felt the way she feels for him for anyone else. Despite never being in a relationship before, she knows she’s in love with him.

“Get out.”

“What?” He asks, unsure if he misheard her.

“Get out.” She repeats through gritted teeth. “Get out! Go! You don’t feel anything for me? You want to push me away? You want to call it quits? You want to leave? Then leave! Just leave, Christopher.”

He doesn’t want any of that, it’s the last thing he wants. And knowing that once he walks out the door, she’s going to spiral, makes him want to stay even more. But the whole point in him pulling back is to make her hate him, because he knows he won’t be able to leave her. He needs her to leave him.

Without a word, he gets up from the ground and makes his exit. She watches him leave, the door shutting behind him. She hopes and hopes that he’ll turn back around and apologize for everything. She hopes he’ll finally admit to her that he loves her and that he wants to be with her, but she knows it’s won’t happen. It’s done. It’s over. They’re over.

It’s been a week since Y/N and Chris have spoken. A week since he left. The hole in her chest only grows bigger with every passing second. She misses him so deeply. Part of her just wishes she could just go back to their last moment together. It was hard and it hurt, but she’d rather have that than nothing at all.

Going from seeing each other all the time to not having any type of communication was more difficult than she anticipated. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but God, did her heart hurt.

Chris was in the same boat; distraught from the loss of her. He was stuck grieving their relationship and the guilt he felt was tremendous. He knew that the downfall of them was his fault, he accepted responsibility. There was nothing more that he wanted, than to go to her house and apologize, and tell her how he really feels about her. He loves her more than anything. He’s not sure he could ever not love her. Everything about her just calls out to him, he finds perfection in the simplest attributes of her being.

Leaving her behind caused him physical pain, but he couldn’t bring himself to give in. He was scared of fully committing, taking the next step with her and making it real. Although, it felt real, there was just something about giving all of himself to her that struck him with fear. Maybe it was the fact that he knew how his fans would react. They would chew into Y/N like they were starved animals and the only thing to satisfy their hunger was to eat her alive. He didn’t want to put any kind of negativity on her.

So, there both of them lay, alone in bed. Eyes glued to the ceiling, cheeks stained with tears, lumps in their throats, anxiety brewing in their stomachs, and heavy chests. Two different homes, yet exactly the same all at once. Eerie silence, so loud they can feel the echo of their painful heartbeats in their ears. The more they think back on all of their time together, and what came of them, the more frequent and louder their sobs got.

Chris and Y/N both lay on the couch, their legs entangled together while she rests atop of him. Their fingers are intertwined as she has her face buried in the crook of his neck. Every so often, she would deeply inhale the scent of him, feeling intoxicated by the way he smells. She can never get enough of it.

"Are you smelling me?" Chris asks with a chuckle, his chest subtly shaking with the vibrations from his laugh.

Y/N playfully rolls her eyes, moving to look up at him. "Yes, what about it?"

"Nothing." He smirks, shaking his head. "You're just odd."

"Hey!" She gasps, defensively. "You smell good. Is it a crime to enjoy it?"

He laughs once more, "A crime? No, but it's definitely odd."

"Shut up. Don't think I haven't caught you doing the same thing to me. You're not slick, Christopher."

His cheeks darken with a rosy color, warming up in slight embarrassment for being caught without him realizing it.

"You've seen me smelling you?" He asks, his voice timid.

"Please. You practically breathe me in." She teases, enjoying the state of him being flustered.

"How come you never said anything?!" Chris questions, his jaw dropped.

She shrugs, resting her head on his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. "It was never that deep. We like the way each other smell, so what?"

He doesn't reply, instead, flips the two over, so that he's now on top of her. She looks up at him with wide eyes before he smashes his lips against hers, taking her in a deep kiss. Their lips move together as if it's the easiest thing they'd ever done. In reality, it probably is.

One of his hands softly grips her jaw, the other resting on the bare skin of her waist. Her hands cup his face, deepening the kiss, until he pulls away. His lips trail down her cheeks, meeting her neck with soft kisses. His nose grazes her skin, brushing over it as he takes a deep breath through it. Her sweet scent fills his nostrils, rushing him with dopamine.

"You're such a weirdo!" She laughs, pushing his face away from her.

"Hey! You said it's not that deep!" He defends.

She giggles, shaking her head, "Come here, you dork."

Her fingers softly grasp his dangling chain, pulling him into her for another loving kiss that the two of them both melt into.

Y/N's pillow was drenched with her tears. With every happy memory surfacing, came a thousand more tears. She was incredibly distraught. She didn't know what to do, she felt so lost. Never in a million years did she think she would lose Chris. It never even crossed her mind.

Her house was dark and quiet, the only sounds being her cries. Her fingers gripped the roots of her hair, tugging in frustration. The burning sensation couldn’t compare to the aching in her chest. Maybe on the outside, people would assume she's being dramatic and should get over herself, as well as the boy she's so bent over. But on the inside, she truly felt so utterly heartbroken. She hadn't spoken a word aloud since she told Chris to leave. It's been seven whole days since she uttered a single word.

She had no one in her life aside from Chris, his brothers, and their friends. No one has reached out to her, but she couldn't blame them because she hadn't tried reaching out to anyone either. She simply turned her phone off, attempting to shield herself from the world.

She didn't know how to cope with the loss she was feeling. She knew it wasn't good to stay in bed and shelter herself from any and everything, but she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. All she wanted was Chris. She wanted to rewind time to go back and have him again. Unfortunately, she'd rather have their messy situation than have nothing of him at all.

Tear-stained papers were scattered throughout her sheets, handwritten notes from Chris. She reread everything he's ever wrote to her over and over again, wishing for him to say the words out loud to her. She could tell from his letters alone; he did love her. She could tell from his actions and how the way he treated her, he did love her.

So, why on earth could he not just voice it?

Why, instead of telling her he loves her, would he push her away and make her feel like none of it mattered to him to lose?

“Chris!” Y/N’s yells, her laughter filling the atmosphere as she runs from said boy.

The two have giant smiles on their faces, joyous sounds emitting from both of their mouths as they run around the house. A can of silly string rests in his hand, determined to empty it on her.

“I swear it’s all gone, look!” Chris fronts, attempting to sway her just to cover her in it again.

“You’re lying!” She laughs, running around the counter.

Chris catches her on the opposite side, causing her to shriek in fear. His free hand wraps around her waist, holding her close while his other hand sprays the silly string all over her. At that point, she accepts defeat and pouts at him.

“Chris.” She whines, feeling the substance coating her head. “My hair!”

The grin never leaves his face as he pulls her flush against him, one hand on the small of her back, the other hand softly grasping her chin. His eyes stare down at her in adoration, love swelling in his heart as he takes her in.

“I’ll wash it for you.” He offers, closing the gap between them.

Their lips meet, soft and tender together. She melts into the kiss, savoring the way they mold together so perfectly. Her hands trail from his biceps to around his neck, her fingers, instinctively, playing with the loose strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

Y/N pulls away, only to be met with a frown on Chris’ lips. She breathily laughs, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the direction of the bathroom.

“What are we doing?” Chris asks, following in suit.

“We aren’t doing anything. YOU, are washing my hair like you oh so kindly offered.” She grins, locking the door behind them.

He chuckles in response, immediately accepting with no hesitation. He turns the faucet on, adjusting the temperature just how he knows she likes it. While they wait for the water to heat up, he grasps the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head, tossing it in the hamper.

The innocent look in her eyes as she stares up at him with love ridden on her face makes him feel like putty. He can’t help but capture her lips in a sweet kiss once more.

They continue to undress, discarding their dirty clothes with the rest of them. Chris helps her into the shower, joining her seconds after. He held her close, the hot water drenching both of them equally as they stood in each other’s embrace.

“I love this.” He mutters into her hair, his hands gently caressing her body.

“You love what?” She asks, looking up at him.

His beautiful blue eyes fill with admiration as he gazes back at her. His wet hair slick against his forehead and his lips a soft pink. He smiles at her, brushing the soaking hair out of her face. His touch against her incredibly tender and sweet, full of love and passion.

"Being here, like this, with you." He whispers, his voice soft and delicate, almost as if he is worried of scaring her away.

Y/N's lips pull into a rather large smile, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. His statement was so simple, yet it has her weak in the knees. She doesn't say a word, only clasps her hands around his neck and pulls his face into hers. Their lips meet in a longing kiss, both of them savoring the deep connection between the two. Chris' hands wrap tightly around her waist, tugging her against him, desperate to feel all of her.

After a moment, they pull away, breathless. She smiles up at him and lays her head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ears. His cheek meets her hair, enjoying the feeling of her embrace. His hands run through her hair, massaging her scalp as he does so.

Suddenly, she pulls back and looks him in the eyes, "I love you."

He smiles, "I love you too."

She shakes her head, biting her inner cheek. "No, Chris. I love you. I'm in love with you."

He feels as though time stops, everything frozen around them. The running water muffles, and all he can hear is the sound of his erratic heartbeat. His eyes are wide as he stares down at her, his voice caught in his throat. He wasn't expecting this. Though, looking back, he should've realized it would be happening soon.

Her lips started falling, curving into a frown, before quickly pulling them back up in a tight-lipped smile. "It's okay."

He opens his mouth so say something, yet nothing comes out. She softly shakes her head, her fake smile growing in an attempt to reassure him, even though her heart is slowly breaking at the thought of him not loving her back. Not loving her the way she wants to be loved, the way she loves him.

"You don't have to say anything."

And so, he doesn't. He clears his throat, proceeding to wash her hair like he intended. The silence between them is loud, awkwardness filling the air. Y/N can't help but feel regret for saying those words. Although, they were nothing but true, she now feels as though she messed things up.

That was the beginning of their destruction. Everything changed the moment Y/N said those five little words. Chris pulled back and put his guard up. Y/N was so lost and confused, unknowing of why things changed. Using her head, she knew it was because she admitted her feelings, but her heart ached every time she attempted to understand why it changed. It was obvious to everyone that knew the two, Chris was undoubtedly in love with her. Why wouldn't he just say that?

The next couple of weeks after Y/N's confession were looming with uncertainty and inevitable ruination. Chris was snappy and seemingly far away, trying to put as much distance into them as possible. He could see what it was doing to her, and it made his chest tighten in agony. She wasn't the same happy girl she usually was. At times she would try to hide it, but he could read her through and through. She was sad.

No matter how many times Y/N tried to address the elephant in the room, Chris would always be extremely dismissive and standoffish. She could barely even get two sentences out before he was either interrupting her, or simply walking away. The pain she felt was excruciating. Every time he just left her there, she felt like he was taking her lungs with him, because she suddenly found it hard to breathe.

Chris was her person. Without him, she had no one to turn to. She couldn't reach out to anyone for advice, simply because there was no one else. She was stuck enduring the heartache he was causing, unaware of the fact that he was going through the same feeling. He didn't want to be cold towards her, he didn't want to leave her drowning in a pool of unwanted emotions, but it's what he felt he had to do.

Ever since their last communication, the skies were dark. It was as if the universe was following in suit of the two of them. The world seemed gloomy around them. Either that, or their overwhelming negative emotions clouded everything good in the world.

"Chris, bro, you have got to leave your room!" Matt's voice was heard from the other side of the locked door.

Chris doesn't respond, only continues to look off into the distance, reminiscing about the girl he loved and hurt all at the same time. His bedroom door shakes with the pounding from his brothers, both of them desperate to reach him. Suddenly, the furious knocks stop, leaving just a moment of silence before the lock clicks and the door flies open.

Chris turns his head, his dead eyes meeting Nick and Matt. The two of them look back at Chris, their faces morphing into sadness and confusion. They have no idea what's causing Chris to be so detrimental to his own health.

"What's going on, Chris?" Nick asks, "You have to talk to us. We're your brothers."

Chris can't even find the words to respond. Just by his features, Nick and Matt can see that he's absolutely devastated. However, they have no idea why. When he doesn't answer, Matt walks forward and sits beside him on the bed, engulfing him in a comforting hug. That seems to have an effect, because Chris bursts into tears, his entire body shaking as he silently cries. Nick gasps and rushes over to the other side of Chris, joining in on the embrace, desperate to help soothe the pain of his brother.

"Shh." Nick coos, "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

Chris violently trembles, as his sobs grow louder, "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad."

"Chris, tell us what happened. We can help you fix it." Matt says.

He shakes his head, "It's too late."

Nick and Matt share looks of concern, completely bewildered by the state of their brother. He had never ever been like this before, and quite frankly, they were unsure how to handle it. They just continue to console him to the best of their ability.

“Is this about Y/N?” Nick asks, sharing another look with Matt.

“We’ve noticed she hasn’t been around this last week.” Matt adds.

Chris doesn’t say anything, so Nick continues, “Did something happen between you two? It’s not like you guys to go so long without speaking to each other.”

Chris’ cries only seem to get louder, indicating the two of them made correct assumptions. Matt rubs Chris’ back in another effort to comfort him.

“Chris, if you want to talk about it, you know we’re always here for you. No judgement, no criticism. Just here to listen, and if you want advice.” Matt softly states.

Slowly, but surely, Chris’ finally gets himself together enough to stop sobbing, however, the tears remain a steady flow. He lifts his head up, looking back and forth between his brothers with a frown on his lips.

“I told her I didn’t feel anything for her.” Chris finally admits.

“Why would you lie?” Nick questions, receiving an elbow from Matt, pulling a groan from his mouth.

“Go on.” Matt insists.

Chris sighs, tossing his head back in frustration with himself. “She told me she was in love with me the other day. I didn’t say it back.”

Nick and Matt look at one another, realization dawning upon them.

“I don’t know why, I just couldn’t say it. The words wouldn’t come out.” Chris adds.

“But you do feel the same, right?” Nick asks.

Chris nods, “I love her more than anything. I’m so in love with her, it hurts. But I’m such a fucking idiot. I pushed her away, I made her hate me.”

He lets out another sob, Matt quickly jumping in, “I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. It’s Y/N, she could never hate you.”

“You weren’t there.” Chris shakes his head, several tears falling from his eyes. “I looked her in her face and told her I don’t feel anything for her. I watched her fall apart. I could see it in her face, what my words did to her. I’ve never seen her so sad before. She told me to leave, and we haven’t spoken since.”

“Oh, Chris.” Nick sighs. “You’ve gotta fix this.”

“Dude!” Matt counters, nudging him again.

“No!” Nick cuts, “I know we said we’d listen, but come on. Chris it’s so obvious you love her. Look at the way you’ve been distraught over this! You haven’t left your room in a week. We’ve had to use old unposted videos just to give our fans content because you’ve been sulking. I get you’re upset, I understand that. What’s stopping you from telling her the truth?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do know, you’re just lying to yourself.” Nick snaps. “Accept it, Chris. Just say the words out loud.”

“I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Matt encourages.

“I’m scared of fully committing. I’m scared of giving her all of me and not being good enough!” Chris shouts, feeling exasperated.

Nick sighs, “Kid, look back on all these years. She’s been head over heels for you for as long as I can remember.”

“Plus,” Matt starts, holding a finger up. “You’re still committing to not being with her. So, therefore, it’s not commitment you’re afraid of.”

Chris shakes his head, a small chuckle leaving his mouth. “It’s not just that. What if after everything, she doesn’t love me like she thinks? And our fans would go insane.”

“Fuck our fans!” Nick exclaims, receiving a pointed look from Matt. “Okay, that sounded harsh. But seriously, if our fans can’t be happy that you found someone that makes you happy, then they’re not real fans.”

“I don’t want them to hurt her.”

“Like you’re doing right now?” Matt points out.

Chris frowns, knowing Matt is absolutely right. He is hurting Y/N, and that alone, makes his stomach drop.

Y/N’s phone had been going straight to voicemail, and none of Chris’ texts were delivering. He assumed she blocked him until he tried having Matt and Nick call her, but to no avail, neither of them got through. So, either she blocked all of them, or her phone was off.

Regardless, Chris was ridden with panic. He worried immensely about her. He knew she was hurting, and he was scared of her doing something stupid. Which brought Chris to where he is now; standing outside of her door.

He’s been on her doorstep for about five minutes, contemplating what to do and what to say. Part of him wants to turn around and forget about him, but he can’t bring himself to do so. He needs to talk to her. So, his hand reaches forward and, before he can talk himself out of it, he knocks several times. So much, in fact, that he yanks his hand back and curses at himself for being so stupid.

It feels like forever has gone by, like he’s been standing there for eternity, until the door opens and snaps him back to reality. His head lifts up and he’s met with Y/N. Her eyes are bloodshot, cheeks red and puffy, and she looks incredibly miserable. Chris still finds her beautiful.

Her eyes widen in surprise before they’re replaced with anger as she frowns at him, “Can I help you?”

The way she talks to him like he’s a stranger makes his stomach twist and he’s suddenly ten times more nervous than before.

“Y/N.” He sighs, unable to form another other words.

“Christopher.”

He takes a deep breath, washing his anxiety away in order to speak to her. “You were right. You were right about everything. I was a complete asshole. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you, the way I pushed you away. I lied. I do feel things for you. I feel so much for you that it terrifies the fuck out of me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I didn’t know how to deal with it. So, when you admitted your feelings for me, I panicked. I was scared, I’m still scared! I don’t know how to be in a relationship, I’m worried I won’t be good enough for you. I’m scared you’ll realize that you don’t actually love me the way you think you do. I’m scared I’ll ruin everything good between us, if I haven’t already. You’re so fucking amazing, I can’t even wrap my head around how you want anything to do with me. I do love you, I’m so fucking in love with you that it hurts. I’m so incredibly sorry for the pain I caused you, it breaks my heart that you had to endure that because of me. Because I’m an idiot. I’m sick for even jeopardizing us because I was an idiot and couldn’t use my words like a big boy. I do love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you, to have a family and grow old with you. I want to go to every single doctor appointment for our children. I want to have cute gender reveals and baby showers. I want us to have a cute little house with the white picket fence. I want us to have a cute little garden and a play-set for our kids, and a little doggy house. I want to go to sleep with you every night, and wake up with you by my side every single morning. I, so badly, wish I could take back the last few weeks, but I know it’s not possible. But please, if there’s any part of you that still wants me, I want nothing more than to be yours.”

By the time he’s finished speaking, he’s breathless. The two of them had tears running down their cheeks, never breaking eye contact for even a moment. Chris feels so much relief for finally getting that off his chest, he just wishes he had done it sooner rather than later.

“Do you want to come inside?” Her voice speaks up, softer than before.

“Please.” He nods, letting out a breath of nervousness.

She opens the door wider, allowing room for him to enter. He does so, turning to her once she shuts the door. The two stare at each other, no words spoken, causing Chris’ anxiety to spike.

“Will you say something?” He asks, “Please.”

Instead of speaking, she steps forward, yanking him into her. Her arms wrap around his neck, his arms going around her waist. She buries her head in the crook of his neck, and he places his head on hers. Both of them sigh in contentment, finally back in each other’s embrace. Their hearts swell with love as relief floods their bodies.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He repeats.

“Shh, come on.” She says, reluctantly pulling away and beckoning him to her room.

He follows her in, watching as she gets on her bed. He stands there, almost unsure whether to join her, until she pats the space beside her. He wastes no time in lying right next to her, their bodies molding together once again. Her head on his chest, his arm around her, keeping her in place as their legs entangle and fingers interlock.

“I missed you so fucking much.” He whispers, pulling her impossibly closer in fear that she’d disappear.

She squeezes her eyes shut, gripping onto him tighter, like when she opens her eyes, she’ll find herself alone and realize all of this was a dream.

“Please never do that again.” She croaks, swallowing the lump in her throat.

He instantly lifts her head up, coming face to face with her as they lock eyes. “Never again. I promise. I’m never leaving you again. I want this, I want you. I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that, but I promise this is what I want. You’re what I want, what I need. I’m here to stay.”

It’s like his words flipped a switch because she could suddenly see right through him again. He’s being sincere.

Her hand slowly makes its way to his cheek, rubbing the soft skin with her thumb, before pulling him into her and pressing her lips against his. It feels like heaven. This is what both of them have been longing for, being together in the way they are meant to be.

Their mouths move in sync, the kiss deepening with each passing second. Y/N hooks her leg over him, sliding herself on his lips, to straddle him. Chris’ hands, instinctively, meet her hips, holding her in place.

He suddenly pulls away, “Wait, I don’t want you to think I just came over here to get my dick wet. I-”

“Please shut up.” She breathes, melting into his lips once more.

Their kiss becomes feverish and desperate, as if trying to make up for lost time. Chris’ hands move downwards to her ass, tightly gripping it as she grinds her hips against his. Almost instantly, she can feel his bulge against her core. Her lips part from his and continue trailing down his neck, leaving open mouth kisses, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin. His breathing picks up, now heavy in her ear.

With one quick motion, he flips her, leaving him hovering over her. His lips meet hers again, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths like it’s the first time ever doing so. His hand softly grasps her neck, his hips rutting against hers, eliciting a soft moan from her.

“God, I’ve missed that sound.” He mumbles against her lips.

Her hands reach the bottom of his shirt, tugging it upwards and placing her hands on his chest as he fully removes it. Her fingers roam his torso, goosebumps arising on his skin beneath her touch. His lips work on her neck, kissing down towards her exposed collarbone. He pulls the loose strap of her tank top down, exposing more skin, his lips following in suit. Soft, breathy moans fell from her mouth, enjoying every sensation he’s giving her.

Chris grabs the hem of her tank top and swiftly pulls it over her head, leaving her topless. His hands caress her bare skin as hers tangle in his hair. He lowers his mouth, peppering wet, open mouthed kisses along every inch of her upper body. His lips trail down the valley of her breasts, both hands cupping each one, giving them a tender squeeze.

“God, you’re so perfect, baby.” Chris groans into her chest, his lips wrapping around her nipple.

Her back arches, pushing her chest more into him, her panties growing more wet with every touch. He takes turns with each nipple, sucking, biting, and pinching them. Airy moans left her mouth, fueling Chris’ desire to hear more of them.

His fingers hook in the waistband of her bottoms, pulling them down and off her feet in one quick motion, tossing them across the room. Y/N’s left bare in front of him, he can’t help but admire the sight of her. Butterflies erupt in her stomach at the loving look in his eyes, her cheeks heating up under his stare.

“So fucking pretty.” He mutters, placing another kiss on her lips.

His hands trail down, groping at every one of her curves, softly massaging the plush skin. They make their way down to her thighs, caressing them with passion. He pulls them apart, her core glistening with her arousal, causing him to lick his lips. She’s completely mouth watering to him.

“Need you so bad.” She moans out, the cool air hitting her right where she needs him most.

He lowers his body in between her legs, softly kissing and nibbling her inner thighs. The moment she bucks her hips up, in need of friction, Chris lurches forward. His tongue glides through her folds with ease, causing her to let out a loud moan. His lips wrap around her sensitive bundle of nerves, gently sucking.

“Fuck.” She moans out, her face contorting in pleasure.

He pulls away, his finger taking his place. It rubs her clit in soft circles, before trailing down, gathering her juices. He leans up towards her mouth, placing his lips on hers, and sinks his finger into her entrance, causing her to moan into the kiss. His finger continues pumping in and out of her for a moment, before he adds another. He speeds up the pace, fucking his fingers into her and curving up just right, feeling that spongy spot he knows she loves.

“Oh my fuck.” She moans, grinding into his hand.

He continues this, his mouth now working on her neck once again, marking her up just how he knows she likes. He knows her inside and out, quite literally. His thumb rubs her clit in circles while his middle and ring finger thrust in and out of her, leaving her a moaning mess. Very quickly, her legs begin shaking and she clenches around him.

“Fuck, baby. Gonna make a mess for me, hm?” He whispers in her ear, sucking on her earlobe, and placing a kiss on it.

Unable to form a sentence, she frantically nods, her hands grasping his arm as he speeds his hand up. She gasps, feeling nothing but euphoric. The knot in her stomach tightens, her eyes squeezing shut.

“Fuck, right there!” She moans out, “Please, don’t stop. Please, please.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He speaks, quickly bringing his mouth back down to her heat, his lips easily wrapping around her clit once again.

Just as his tongue flicks over it, her hips are bucking as her orgasm rushes through her. Her legs tremble as she releases, her juices flying out and drenching the sheets as well as Chris. He moans into her center, his tongue working to taste all of her as his fingers slowly help her ride it out.

“Taste so fucking good.” He moans, pulling his fingers out of her and placing them in his mouth, sucking her fluids off of them.

Her legs continue to twitch as she tries to catch her breath, a goofy smile dancing on her lips as she watches him through heavy eyelids. She pulls him into her again, her lips easily molding with his, the taste of her juices still on his tongue. She can feel his clothed erection pressing into her, causing her to pull away.

Her fingers grasp the drawstring of his sweatpants, slowly pulling them loose. He gets the hint and pulls them down, adding them and his boxers to the pile of clothes discarded on the floor. His hand wraps around the base of his dick, sliding it up and down through her folds, coating it in her arousal. He places himself at her entrance, both of his hands interlocking with hers. Looking into her eyes, he slowly sinks in, loud moans coming from both of them as he bottoms out.

“Mm, missed you so much.” She moans out, her fingers tightening around his.

“I missed you.” He groans, slowly pumping in and out. “God, you feel so good around me, baby.”

As he thrusts into her, her hands guide his to her breasts. His hands engulf them, tightly squeezing them as she claws at his back. His strokes become faster and harder, desperately fucking into her as deep as he’ll go. Her eyes roll into the back of her head as her mouth falls open, broken moans emitting.

He grabs one of her legs, lifting it over his shoulder for better access. The deeper he gets, the louder the moans are, falling from her lips. His free hand comes down, rubbing her clit as he fucks into her at a delicious pace.

“Chris, baby, I’m so close.” She moans with a whine, her fingernails digging into the skin on his back. “You fuck me so good.”

“Let go, mama. Wanna make you feel good.” He groans, his thrusts meeting her just the way they both need.

The tightening in her stomach indicates she’s close to releasing, causing her to tightly clench around his cock. That causes his thrusts to grow sloppy, him feeling his own orgasm sneaking up on him. He recomposes himself, his hips rutting into hers so perfectly, instantly snapping the metaphorical rope inside of her. Lewd moans fall from her mouth as she lets go once again, her juices coating his dick.

“Fuck, so good to me, baby.” He groans, pumping in and out of her before his own release hits him, his hot load painting her walls.

His thrusts slow down before he pulls out altogether, their mixed fluids dripping out of her. Both of their breaths were erratic, their skin flushed mixes of reds and pinks. Chris collapses beside her, their hands immediately connecting as they attempt to regain themselves.

“I love you.” Chris suddenly announces, “I’m gonna remind you every chance I get. I’ll never let you forget it, or doubt it. I love you, I’m so in love with you. I wanna be yours and only yours, forever.”

a/n : lolzzz there ya go <3 wasn’t sure if i liked the ending but i got lazy and someoneee wanted a happy ending. it’s not my fic without a lil nasty 🤭 hope you enjoyed it xx

@worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie

#lustfulslxt #joss speaks #sturniolo triplets #sturniolos #the sturniolos #imagine #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo smut #angst #chris sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris

448 notes · View notes

ilygetou · 2 years

Text

CUNNILINGUS — GOJO SATORU.

pairing: gojo satoru x fem! reader.

c/w: cunnilingus, clit kisses, slight fingering, spit, satoru is lovesick, pet names [princess, baby, angel n’ pretty girl], overstimulation, squirting maybe?

note. anyone up thinking about getting fucked by satrou’s tongue? no? only me? :(

you had your legs sprawled out and wrapped around gojo’s head as he licks your clit with his tongue, spreading your slick all over your puffy cunt as you whimper n’ whine about how good it feels, your hands on his white locks, grabbing on his hair as hard as you can.

he was slowly teasing your needy hole with his tongue, pushing in slightly before pulling right back, “s-satoru! please..!” you begged, your grip on satoru’s hair tightening. “please what, angel?” you let out a soft sob at satoru’s teasing, you know he knows what you mean.

you decided to push satoru’s head against your cunt, pushing him in attempts of getting him to fuck you with his tongue. “oh? getting greedy now, aren’t ya’?” gojo chuckled, he pinched your clit causing you to squirm n’ let out a choked whimper.

“i said; please what? ya’ hafta tell me what you want, princess” satoru coos, his thumb brushing over your swollen clit before slowly moving down to your wet entrance, his thumb slowly disappearing into your hole. “n-no! want your tongue, ’toru p-please!”

satoru smirks, moving his head closer to your cunt and giving your clit a messy, wet kiss. Removing his thumb from your entrance, your slick coating it before he suddenly shoves his thumb into your mouth, “like how ya’ taste like, baby?” he asks, tone lazy n’ low.

satoru’s tongue brushes over your entrance, spitting on it, by using his tongue satoru starts mixing his spit with your slick, you were biting on gojo’s thumb, holding back your moans as he kept repeating his actions.

slowly, satoru starts pushing his tongue against your entrance, your walls sucking his tongue in. Satrou started lapping his tongue repeatedly, circling his tongue inside you causing you to throw your head back and let out muffled whimpers.

gojo’s thumb slowly slips out of your mouth, making you let out your moans freely. “s-satoru! ’s g-good!” gripping his hair even harder, your body felt incredibly hot, a faint layer of sweat was decorating your figure as satoru placed his large hands against your hips, pulling you into his face further and lapping the tip of his skilled tongue as your walls clenched around it, and satoru swears that his tongue could come off with how hard you were tightening around it. but your moans and whines coaxing him on to continue his play.

his arms were looped around your thighs to keep you close at all times as your whines became louder, pushing his face closer to your heat. “satoru! a-ah! soo good, fuck!”

you‘re whining, eyes scrunched shut as you arched your spine upwards, thighs quivering underneath his touch. your slick was coating his chin, his salvia getting mixed with it.

and without any warning, you came all over satoru’s face. White liquid spurting n’ covering his face, and you swear you could see satoru smirking as you were laying down, letting out low pants n’ whimpers.

you thought satoru was done with you, but apparently he wasn’t. He moves his tongue to your clit, giving it sloppy kisses before lightly pinching it, you tugged at his hair — a small whimper escaping you.

“ya’ deserve this n’ much more, baby” he coos before wrapping his lips around your clit, flicking his tongue around your clit, as he started teasing your entrance with his pointer finger. long, thick fingers bullying their way into your overstimulated hole.

but satrou had all his attention fixated on your clit, tongue wet n’ red as he kept lapping his tongue around your swollen clit.

your legs started to shake, loud moans and sobs filled the room, you arched your back — head thrown to the back, your mouth hanging open as satoru continued overstimulating you, licking your puffy clit mixed with him slowly fingering you.

“satoru! satoruuu! think ’m gonna—!” you were cut off by a loud moan of gojo’s name, squirting all over him. limpid liquid gushing out of your cunt and onto satoru’s face.

satoru was grinning, face covered with your slick and your sweet juices, “oh fuck angel, that was so hot,” gojo whispered to your worn out body, his eyes drifting to your messy cunt. Giving your clit one last kiss before moving closer to your face, “you look so pretty angel, so so pretty, my pretty girl” he coos, removing your hair strands from your face to take a better look of your features.

you were too exhausted to reply, eyes threatening to shut, your legs wobbly and you were sure you won’t be able to walk properly for a day or two.

“fucked you so good with my tongue, you squirted,” satoru grins, your face tensed up at his remark — completely forgetting about that part.

“no need to be embarrassed princess, ya’ looked so pretty but would’ve looked prettier if it was around my cock instead, don’t ya’ think?” gojo snickered, playing with a strand of your hair as he watched you look away from him, embarrassed.

#jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojou satoru x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #gojo smut #gojou satoru x y/n

6K notes · View notes

kooberryfields4ever · 4 months

Text

CLOSER (TO YOU)

small jungkook bang bang sex time as my first official non-nsfw-alphabet post teehee………. i miss this man soooo bad guys it’s close to killing me😭😭😭😭 i was looping closer to you on the train when i thought this up bc the song just ignited something heady and hot and fast in my brain nd i needed to get it down!!!!!!!!! i hope u all enjoy……. i’m also working on sfw/longer fics so bare with me through the seemingly unending nsfw while i do😭😭

i really recommend listening to closer to you while you read to properly discern the DESPERATIONNNN behind this fic

wc: 1402

content warnings : smut below the cut, pwp, cunnilingus, piv sex, creampie, no dialogue!

MDNI !

You and Jungkook are fighting to release each other’s lips as you fumble your way through the front door. He kicks it shut, pressing you firmly against the wood as his hands find purchase at your waist, gripping tightly. He’s straining against his trousers, like the way you can feel your panties dampening under your silk dress. He’s licking expertly licking into your mouth, hungrily, suckling on your tongue and drawing moans out of you. You pull away to breathe a little, giggling with your head thrown back against the door at both of your determination. Jungkook chuckles in suit, attaching his lips to your neck sweetly as you expose your neck to him. His fingers dig further into your skin when he presses his hips into you - you gasp at the feeling of his hardening length pressing into your pelvis. His kisses are slow as he trails them up and down from your jaw to your collar; he nibbles gently, hand sliding up to caress the side of your tit. You sigh. Jungkook pulls back for a second, eyes on your body as both of his hands dance slowly down the length of your dress, scrunching it up to reveal your heat to him, slowly. He observes you, a dark glint in his eye as your chest heaves with desire. You watch as he sinks to the floor, his eyes boring holes into your skin.

The moan that leaves your throat is crude as Jungkook attaches his lips to your clothed cunt, tongue running along the folds. You clench your eyes shut when he pushes his nose into you, goosebumps raising on your skin when it presses against your clit. He holds the length of your dress up against your hip, nuzzling into your pussy like a man starved, and you throw your leg up and over his shoulder when he taps your thigh. You can barely see him, his face covered by the red silk of your dress, but you can feel when his fingers dip into the waistband of your panties and drag them down slowly. He’s quick to dive back in when your pussy his finally exposed to him, his ministrations fast and desperate as he licks into your cunt with the same fervour he had when kissing you. Your hands fly to grip his scalp, bucking into him as your panties slide further down and he takes it into his own hands to pull them off you completely. His hands slide up from your calf to your thigh, before joining his mouth at your entrance. He plunges his middle finger in deep, to the knuckle, curling it against the spongy walls of your insides with precision. The noises he’s making are dirty, wet in way you can’t describe. He sucks expertly at your clit, finger pushing in and out repeatedly as you cream around him.

When a second finger slides into you, you feel your body curl into itself, your grip on his scalp tightening. Jungkook hisses, taking the stinging pain in stride as he continues mouth-fucking you. He pumps his fingers as deep as they can go, brushing against your g-spot almost teasingly, drawing moan after moan from your lips. You can feel your resolve beginning to break, the band holding you from climax bending aggressively before snapping, sending you hurling into an orgasm. Your walls pulse around Jungkook’s fingers as he fucks you through it, kissing and licking at your folds and clit while you come down. When you begin to twitch from overstimulation, he finally pulls out, standing up to loom back over you before taking his fingers into his mouth. He licks and sucks your essence from his knuckles gently, his free hand moving back to your hip to press himself against you once again. You close your eyes, the bulge of his hardened member pressing into you erotically. You can barely move.

It's unsurprising when Jungkook picks you up in your daze, swinging you over his shoulder unceremoniously as he carries you to his bedroom. The passion from before still lingers when he throws you down as gently as he can, crawling over you. His mouth finds yours once again, reigniting the flame within your belly as you moan into his mouth. He smirks. Your hands fumble at his belt, parting from him as you desperately work against the buckle and his zip. He shoves them down, alongside his underwear, and shrugs them off, resuming his position over you to press his lips against yours. His dick presses against your thigh. He’s gentler with your clothes, fingers tucking under the thin bands of your dress delicately, letting them fall off your shoulder as he presses kiss after kiss onto your mouth. He leans back from you for only a second to grip at the hem and pull the fabric over your head, exposing you to him finally. He sighs happily. He seems unable to detach himself from your lips, diving back in to taste you hungrily, yet tenderly. You gasp when his finger finds your bra strap, pinging it against your skin with a breathy chuckle, urging you to sit up a little while his hands unclasp it from the back. He sits back this time, keen to watch as you slide the bra off your chest slowly, your breasts drooping from the cups. He watches for a short while, his eyes darting between your tits, watching your nipples grow impossibly harder from the chill in the air as they’re exposed.

You lay back. He tilts his head a little, still sat up as he reaches down to take one of your breasts in his large hand, thumb rolling over your nipple tenderly. His touch is achingly slow, finger joining his thumb to pinch you, and you sigh. He finally knocks himself out of his trance when he feels his dick twitch, and watches you observe before leaning back over you to kiss you once again. You clench around nothing when his length presses against your skin again, moaning as he grabs it and jabs his tip into your clit teasingly. He allows himself to thrust between your dripping folds a few times, lubing himself up before aligning himself with your entrance and pushing in, pressing his forehead into your shoulder. His thrusts are immediately desperate, not allowing you a moment to adjust before he drives into you quickly. Your hands fly around the back of his head, pressing him into your shoulder as you both moan. Jungkook grips your hips tightly, fingers sure to bruise as he pounds himself into you, unrelenting when you clench and groan and scratch at his back. He presses a chaste kiss to your collar, hands dropping to your thighs to help lift your hips ever so slightly off to bed to push himself even deeper. Your eyes widen, his tip prodding at your cervix deliciously with every thrust.

When his breathing becomes heavier against your skin, you can tell he’s close. Your fingers find your clit, rubbing furiously. Jungkook practically growls when he feels you tighten around him, your walls pushing him out as your climax nears. He lifts his head up from your shoulder, eyes dark with desire when he fixes his gaze on you and dives into your lips for a final time. You kiss him back with equal fervour, fingers dancing expertly across your nub as Jungkook pile-drives into your pussy. His free hand comes up to play desperately with your tit, squeezing the flesh and rolling his palm against your hardened nipple. It’s enough to send you over the edge once more, your breath hitching against his unstopping lips as your cunt clenches tightly around him over and over. He presses his forehead against yours, lifting your hip even higher with a grunt as his hips stutter. His eyes search yours desperately, brows furrowed when he buries himself to the hilt and lets out a shaky breath, cum flooding your womb as he makes short thrusts at your cervix. He swallows, and you watch him carefully as he lets go of your thigh, pulling out and collapsing beside you.

You can feel his cum dribble pathetically out of your entrance, his loud snores permeating through the air. You chuckle, pulling him closer to you and nestling into his chest. Cleaning up can come later.

a/n 🗒️ tysm for reading !!!!!! all ur support n likes n reblogs mean the world to me🥺 pls dont be shy to send me asks/requests if u want i am completely open to anything even if u just wanna talk !!!!

#koob navi #jungkook #jungkook hard hours #jungkook hard thoughts #jungkook smut #jungkook x yn #jungkook x reader #yn x jungkook #reader x jungkook #bts hard hours #bts hard thoughts #bts smut

249 notes · View notes

honkthehenry · 3 months

Text

unnamed slime game - part 1

Masterlist

The way you suddenly snapped into awareness without realizing you drifted off at all was something akin to having a bucket of ice-cold water thrown into your face.

You... dozed off in class again. In hindsight, it was inevitable – the last time you got hours of sleep instead of something in-between nothing at all and a 2-hour-nap was last Saturday. You've been running on nothing but bitter, cheap coffee and sheer spite for almost a week now, it was high time you finally crashed.

Still, you should have woken up at Uni. You should have woken up to your professor huffing and puffing and glowering in your face about your terrible conduct, about how your generation had no respect for his generation, about how such a complicated and beautiful science like Robotics was not a place for slackers like you (which, fair, you had no idea what you were doing in Robotics either), not... alone and certaintly not in the middle of a forest.

You ran through a bunch of scenarios quickly, but none stuck.

Kidnapping? Far-fetched at best. You lived alone, only barely making ends meet by running yourself into the ground as you tried to marry working retail with being a full-time student, so ransom was out of the question and being kidnapped for the sake of doing bad things to you... Why bother? You didn't know anyone nearly well enough to be kidnapped due to personal feelings and you were neither good-looking enough (perpetually tired goblin that you were) nor famous-, connected- or skilled enough to be kidnapped randomly.

Besides, you were at the University, on the 5th floor, in the middle of the city that had no forests for miles! You were surrounded by 20-odd other people, there was no way someone would be able to kidnap you with so many witnesses around.

So, not kidnapping.

Dream then?

Also unlikely. Your dreams were few and far-between and when they did happen, it was either you being surrounded by characters from the show you happened to be fixated on at the time or it was you getting repeatedly chased and swallowed whole by a dinosaur on a loop, until the dream finally ended (probably Jurasic Park childhood trauma, now that you thought about it).

Still.

This was so weird, because you knew for a fact you were much too aware of everything to be dreaming and yet the things you saw didn't makes sense at all!

You didn't have any arms for one!

And your body was purple!

You could feel electricity zapping at your body and it didn't hurt, it was more like being swallowed in a blanket burrito and nursing a comforting mug of hot chocolate, while watching your favourite show with no worry for deadlines or money!

You weren't supposed to feel like that, you were supposed to be tired and grumpy and irritable and not nice and not toasty and certaintly not so comfortable!

Drugs? Hallucinations? You never partaked, you didn't drink alcohol either, so that was a no—

—A purple crystal you were under zapped at you again and you positively melted on the spot, basking in the feeling and letting the troublesome train of thought go like the wind, before it inevitably derailed and caused you undue anxiety as it always did.

...it was very nice actually.

Maybe losing opposable thumbs wasn't so bad if you got this in exchange.

You could live like this.

×•×•×•× Honk!!! Corner ×•×•×•×

You know that one post lurking on Tumblr where OP is turned into a frog by a witch as revenge? And just vibes? Basks in the sun without worrying about life? This is MC now.

I don't care how long or how short chapters are, they're just gonna vibe as they are because I am a goblin with a short attention span and no actual ability to write.

Something to get you thinking - MC is an electro slime for a reason and that reason is electro immunity.

I wonder why?

*smiling like a particularly smug cat*

Did I mention I can't draw lightning/electricity? Because I can't, so I didn't.

Also fvck me, my tags didn't saveeeeee 😭

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #sagau x reader #sagau #except sagau part is slow burn #isekai #genshin isekai #x reader #x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #x gn y/n #x y/n #x you #electro slime mc #slime mc #unnamed slime game

264 notes · View notes

percheduphere · 5 months

Text

I wanted to find and gather some lesser appreciated Mobius moments from S1, and some thoughts occurred to me.

When we see Mobius drill into Loki about his choices, his thought patterns, whether or not he enjoys hurting people, Mobius comes down on Loki HARD, cruelly, goading, and manipulating (Sound familiar? Just wait...). He does so in a way that's confident he will get the answers he expects from Loki, which he does.

When we cut to the scenes with Renslayer, Mobius's truer, gentler side appears. The side that is kind and soft and believes in second chances. Notice, also, the difference in lighting between these scenes.

And then it hit me:

Mobius was using a carefully constructed persona--an illusion--with Loki to control the situation and get Loki into the headspace of self-reflection. He uses the very same technique Loki uses regularly to get the outcome that is beneficial for both of them.

Genius, really.

As we move into S1E2 and E3, the power dynamics are decidedly uneven, but once they are out in the field, Mobius's actual power and control over Loki is quite limited and actually banks on a LOT of faith. A ridiculous amount of faith, to be honest. Despite logical misgivings, Mobius makes a POINT of giving Loki freedom and trust because he has analyzed Loki enough to know that lack of trust perpetuates a destructive self-fulfilling prophecy.

So when Loki chooses to escape with Sylvie, all those centuries of belief and good will Mobius invested in him were thrown in his face. He's understandably furious, but the interrogation scene after both Lokis are captured simply does not read as normal without the additional lens of jealousy. If Mobius were not emotionally compromised in some way, he would have handled the interrogation clinically, and he would have sent Loki to be pruned without a thought.

Mobius doesn't do either of those things. Rather than asking Loki objective questions, he focuses on Loki's attention on Sylvie and verbally twists the knife where he can. His punishment for Loki after the interrogation is shockingly personal:

A word about the Sif loop scene: I really, REALLY hated that Mobius did that. It honestly made my gut churn. I think the writers tried to play it off for laughs because Loki gets kicked in the balls repeatedly, but the emotional undercurrent of Sif's words and everything that it means is just awful.

That said, I understand that this scene reveals not only Loki's vulnerability but ALSO Mobius's. This is a "passionate diagreement" through proxy. Mobius knows what would hurt Loki the most psychologically. But why would Mobius choose to hurt him this severely with these specific words?

Remember, this might be a memory, but Mobius is choosing to speak his feelings to Loki through Sif.

I think the answer is 4-pronged: First, Mobius put his career, reputation, and friendship with Ravonna on the line for Loki. The stress of the potential repercussions (which were HIGH) should Loki betray him was a constant heat on his neck. Despite this, Mobius chooses the riskier route of believing Loki would not betray his trust. And yes, within the context of what Mobius has done to advocate for Loki and what's at stake for Mobius should he fail, Loki absolutely betrays him.

Second, Loki told Mobius everything he believed about the TVA and his place in the multiverse is a lie. When was the last time Mobius reacted so violently?

When Brad called him a "nowhere man".

Mind, there is guilt beneath this anger. Not only has everything Mobius believed in been revealed as a lie, it is revealed he was complicit in the genocide of multiple timelines for which there was never any ultimate good. YIKES. That's a lot to take in, and Mobius at his core is a deeply empathetic person. The guilt of this horror, at his hands, is probably why Mobius does not defend himself when Sylvie tears him a new one in S2E4.

Three, I think Mobius may have wished for a friendship with Loki long before his intervention. I've written elsewhere that his intervention appears to be premeditated. Mobius was only waiting for his chance to come along. Who knows how many centuries that took. I believe he may have rationalized away his emotional attachment as a means to help the TVA succeed. Mobius is adept at suppressing not only his emotions but his wants.

Four, by S1E3, Mobius came to love Loki to some degree, platonic or otherwise. I think it's very difficult to not develop love for someone or something you've been tasked to be an expert on. Having Loki actually beside him, engaging with him over lunch and work, no doubt added some much needed color in Mobius's life. It's hard not to become infatuated with someone fun and exciting.

The jealous rage that overwhelms Mobius doesn't last long. When it comes down to it, Mobius can't help but believe in Loki. Doubt in the TVA takes root once his immediate anger dissipates. So Mobius steals Ravonna's TemPad, verifies Loki's claims, and immediately self-corrects. Mobius could have dug his heels in with more denial, but he doesn't. Why? Because Mobius ultimately cares more about Loki than himself.

When Mobius returns to Loki, he asks a few other questions that I can't share images for because of the 10-image limit. Those other questions include but are not limited to:

Do you care about Sylvie?

Do you really believe you deserve to be alone?

I should point out these questions are not at all tied to the well-being of the TVA or the multiverse. They are specifically tied to Loki's well-being. Loki's happinness.

Why does Mobius ask these questions? Because, in my opinion, Mobius was preparing himself to let Loki go, be with who he wants to be with (Sylvie), and fight the battle he wants to fight. Mobius will not be the obstruction to Loki's path to personal success even if that means letting go of the TVA, letting go of Ravonna, letting go of Loki himself.

All of this is a selfless act of love. What kind of love that is is up to the viewer, but it is very much there. It's real and integral to the story.

Classic Loki points out that this is a high cost. In response, Mobius takes the crux of his belief in Loki and directs it to himself.

The beauty of the goodbye scene in S1S6 is that the emotional thrust of selfless love is echoed and amplified in Loki's own self-sacrifice in S2E6. Loki lets go of the TVA, lets go of Sylvie, lets go of Mobius himself. Ouroboros.

#loki #mobius #lokius #loki season 2 #loki series #loki spoilers #loki meta #my meta #loki season 1

345 notes · View notes

topaz-mutiny · 6 months

Text

I think the fans are underestimating how differently people can process things.

I am consistently seeing posts say "Ashton/Tal were repeatedly warned the shard was not for them/will 100% kill them", when this was absolutely not the case, and, more importantly, it is very likely for groups of people to completely misinterpret the warnings. Even if they've known each other and loved each other for a decade.

I certainly thought the warnings were not clear or frequent enough so I was shocked like lightning in the latest episode that they were meant to be absolute death flags.

Please note that I'll mostly refer to the fictional characters, I don't want to bring the people behind the characters too much into this.

First, I would like to point out, the show takes place over weeks and months with plenty of breaks and interruptions. That is plenty of time and opportunity for memories to get faded, muddled, crossed-over with other memories, etc.

The "warnings" happened two weeks to a month ago. And even when they were fresh on the cast's mind, here are the warnings verbatim (bold is my emphasis):

But be warned, holding the strength of the two in one vessel might sunder it. You bear the dormant strength of the empress. Find and bestow the might of the emperor.

- Evontra'vir, episode 74, aired October 5th. The conversations move on to unrelated things with no followup.

Ashton: He also said it might be dangerous for these two shards to intermingle. Or he didn't say dangerous, he said that-- it could destroy me. Orym: --A chance the vessel could break. Laudna: --The vessel <air quotes> could break. Fearne: Wasn't there something if you put them together with the right thing that it'll be okay? Ashton: It might come together and be okay, yeah. -- Dancer: Maybe if it were to meet one of its own ilk, it could awaken. Allura: What you said as a point of warning likely is true. To have both within a singular vessel, it's possible one could survive, but it's also highly possible that it would rend you into a thousand pieces. -- Allura: We're in a strange area of experimentation and unknown knowledge. -- (after finding out Ashton has a fascimile of a Luxon beacon in their brain) FCG: So he's got two things in him or them? Allura: It would seem, which is why I'm a bit--Well, you're either the greatest weapon we could hope for in this time, or will be our end. I couldn't tell you. Orym: Boy, maybe we don't add a third thing. Ashton: I was put together by bits and pieces. This was not an intentional thing and it, I honestly shouldn't have survived it. It was, literally, I was put together with junk. Allura: In an odd way, your fragmented nature might be what keeps all of this in check. ... Perhaps we don't put another powerful entity within your form.

- Various, episode 76, aired October 19th.

To me, these warnings were not clear in the slightest.

To me, these warnings were interspersed with so many words like "possible", "might", and "chance" that I completely misinterpreted the situation as "For Ashton it is dangerous but doable" instead of "The Game Master is telling you Ashton's character sheet will be ripped up."

This is the problem with using in-character voices and using descriptors that imply chance or flexibility. They can drastically weaken the meaning of a phrase such that people like me will mistake it for something else.

Because that's how my brain works. "May", "chance", "perhaps" suggest to me a reasonable set of odds for an action and does not come across as the grave warning a game master would want.

And as a reminder, these muddled warnings were weeks apart and weeks away, which can make remembering the meaning even worse if you've already misinterpreted them. That's why I was 100% on board with Ashton taking the shard. It seemed reasonable but dangerous, so when Matt said "I warned you." in that grave tone and with that grave look I was thrown for a loop. I went "oh no! those were serious warnings!?" and the panic started setting in.

Also a contributing factor was the pressure and lack of communication from Bells Hells.

Fearne did not want the shard, and finally stated that thought aloud to Ashton. For Fearne and Ashton, that meant the only choice left was Ashton, because, for one reason or another, the 5 other people in Bells Hells repeatedly assumed and pushed the shard onto Fearne and wrote themselves out of the equasion. FIVE characters absolved themselves of being active participants. Once the idea of Fearne came to mind and this Emperor Fearne/Empress Ashton/Callowmoore shipping dicotomy, Bells Hells just stopped talking about it and never once considered if any of them should take the shard should Fearne refuse.

So... yeah that's how my brain works.

#critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c3e77 #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #bells hells #evontra'vir #taliesin jaffe #matthew mercer #communication breakdown #tl;dr Bells Hells needs to talk to each other more instead of just assuming how things will be #do you want explosions and dead PCs? that's how you get explosions and dead PCs.#people will think differently and can misinterpret what you say #even this loving group of 8 people can misinterpret each other despite being together for like a decade #tbh I thought the shard going to Orym would've been ideal #I might repost this for the Monday crew idk

180 notes · View notes

pieroulette · 11 months

Text

𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: 𝐌𝐘 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 | 𝟏𝟖+ | 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 | 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐓𝟕 × 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

SUMMARY you couldn't believe how your life could turn out for the worse when you were force to take on the body of the wicked and sadistic daughter of a Duke who has countless of enemies ready to stomp on her once they had the very chance. Eyes seething with vengeance and walls like ears—you had no choice but to protect yourself; you either act like her and therefore risk your life even more or overturn people's perception on her and lay low behind the spotlight. Yet the era you were thrown into seems far more complicated than you think when you attracted more eyes than you planned to do so.

GENRE/WARNING reverse harem, comedy, royal au, romance, fluff, angst, time loop/time travel, politics, 18th century au, attempted tongue mutilation, profanity.

WORD COUNT — 5k

•{ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 ' 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐: 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 }•

"So.. you're telling me," hesitating in gesturing to yourself, "That I'm the daughter of a duke?" the maid nodded slowly, seemingly concerned. "And that I have two brothers.. who are currently out of town. And that I'm the only daughter." your mind fleet away as every word sank in your soul. "And it's the year 1816 right now?"

She nodded again.

And you scoffed terribly, brushing your forehead as you giggled almost like it's a joke. "Yah, who hired you?"

"T-the head took me in a few months ago, milady!"

"No bitch, I was asking who hired you? Which member recommended you to the theater?" You slapped the table repeatedly, "As far as I know, I have never seen you or anyone in my team! Wait—are you perhaps from another team?"

"H-huh, I do not understand what you are trying to imply, milady."

"Stop lying." You pointed your index finger to her face. "Quit acting, where's the freaking cameras? This must be a surprise test, huh?! Come out! I just got into an accident and you all are already giving me an exam for fuck's sake!"

"N-no!" she shrieked terribly much to your cringing face. "I— how- am I.. supposed to? Milady?!" hiccups emitted a couple of times, the girl unable to finish her sentences before suddenly weeping for the nth time, glueing her forehead on the floor

Your jaw dropped, frowning. "Stop calling me that! And h-hey! I haven't even say anything much yet and you're already crying? How much in the script did it actually tell you to cry this much?!"

"My apologies, miladyyy!" her whining cause you to close your ears in frustration, and the two maids behind the door had their head hanging so low it might snap as they pulled their fellow mate away, the familiar old lady from just now came instead, falling on her knees before you.

"Milady." Hanging her head low, she did, as she called out for you. "Perhaps, you don't recognise any one of us?"

"Do I look like I do?" You nonchalantly answered, raising your right leg on top of the chair.

That alone caused the Madame's eyes to ogle out, "Milady! That's very unladylike to sit! Please do not—"

"Excuse me? If you are trying to mould me into a—" swaying your hand in patterns, "Feminine, lovable, innocent wife for your boss. Then fucking quit it."

"Milady!" The Madame taken aback by you, proceeded to go outside, urging the maids to call upon someone. "Oh lord, what has happen to the lady that she had to utter such vile words!"

—♚—

Stress.

Indeed, the entire manor was engulfed with nothing but pure stress with your total switch of a personality—for the very reason of you barging the door without knocking, walking very unladylike, pushing yourself out the first floor's window to look out the garden, or even at worse cases which had their orbs ogling out terribly was when you pull up your gown with the reasons of it being tremendously hot, or when you plucked out the hair ornaments on your hair, or any accessories at sight.

“Lady (Name)... seems so different, doesn't she?” says the young servant as she pours a bucket of water on the marble floor.

“I like her a bit now, though.” the other replied.

“You sure about that?—” they both raise their head up to you standing afar with your head shooting outside the patterned holes of the walls. "The lady.. truly acts eccentric nowadays. I heard the doctor diagnosed with her mental problems."

"Don't tell me you're having such thoughts! Where did you even heard such baseless rumors? Keep that to yourself or else you'll earn it."

"Ugh, fine." The servant groaned to herself. "Honestly, I truly think the chandelier could've possibly damaged the lady's brain to the point she had a total switch of personality."

“Well, at least, we aren’t reprimanded as we used to.” The other replied. "Aren't you glad of it?"

Unknown to the wonders of this new, or atleast old world. A distant feeling consumed your heart as you could be the only one right here, right now. All alone by yourself—you've finally come into conclusion that you truly, were indeed, in the era of 1816.

What a fucking joke.

A teacup snapped into numerous pieces across the carpeted floor, dark brown contents splattered horrendously before the maid's horrific realisation, ultimately falling on her knees.

“I'm–m! I apologise! I deserve to die but no– no! Please I have a family to feed! Certainly they would fall into their demise upon my death, I greatly beg you young lady! Please!”

Baffled over her exaggerated and frantic reaction as if you were going to get her beheaded at any moment just because of a simple fallen teacup and its scattered leafy tea on the carpeted red floor. You laughed awkwardly, “It’s o-okay? It’s just a teacup afterall?”

"I-it's not! My lady, I greatly apologize!" She weep in pure agony, faint red dripping from her forehead as she slammed it repeatedly on the floor.

You stood there in slight shock at the desperate actions of the maid, why are they so beyond frightened of you? Did what you heard were actually true?

The young lady of this family, you heard—after a series of gathered information from what you've came to piece the puzzle together; the daughter of the duke was a one cunning and merciless lady, with an extreme intelligence surpassing of that the highest scholar in the country but one that had been deemed beneath the soil for the duke, her father—had ordered for it.

That she, a woman, shall only stay inside her home, and appease her soul by waiting for a hand in marriage. It's such an atrocious joke, really. How could you even wonder, some parents just don't deserve a child for they only deemed their child's existence as an investment. Not more than that.

The young lady also had a blast of short temper, judging by how the maids often whimper and tremble when you appear before them—acting as if their life was on the edge of the cliff every single time.

You overheard one of them that the lady had ordered for a public humiliation for one of the previous maids who dared to go up against her, stripping her off her dignity and letting men devour her like a dangling fresh meat.

She's like a ticking time bomb.

It had you a tad bit conflicted over what to feel with the lady, or whether to think of her as a completely wronged lady whose talents were gone to be drained by the father, or a spoiled brat using her power to trample on the weak.

Sighing as you watched the garden out the window, surely—it shouldn't be any of your concern right? Anything personal regarding the lady should be scrapped, and only what's necessary should be kept for you have to survive in her body with the infamous reputation she earned—till you're able to find a way back to your original life.

Tapping your chin as you brought yourself in a deep thought, you were contemplating over what to do. Right, your lips pulled up into a slight beaming smile that had the maids eyes widening in utter surprise, unable to process the eccentric sight before them.

"Get up, dear." The maid trembled slightly with your hands pulling her up in a gentle manner, "It's perfectly fine, such trivial mistakes had no need to waste such a tremendous energy upon. You may go now."

"Thank you, milady!" she held her head down before walking off but you had a bunch of curiosity you'd been dying to ask since awhile, and the maid seems the fairly perfect person to ask.

"Stop."

"Y-y-yes, milady?"

"I want you tell me about something-"

And that question was how the lady had got into an accident, since you overheard the passing maid that the lady had been in a coma for almost a month, and no one outside the manor was to be inform about it. That she had to be acclaimed as all well and safe. You furrowed your eyebrows, wondering how and why?

How did she got into one and why are they trying to keep it? Sure, the lady had such a bad temper and merciless indeed that she definitely would have plenty of souls desiring to get back on her while she's rendered unconscious. But surely, it ain't that serious? It isn't as if the young lady had a status as high as the princess or the queen.

Your curiosity were confirmed though as the young maid told you everything; that the lady had attended a noble event as she often did so her entire life, a daily occurrences for nobles like the prince and princesses, duke and duchesses and their children, royal officials and high status people to attend to. However on that fateful day, the lady had a dance with a prince and as they do so on the dance floor. The chandelier above the ceiling tragically fell on top of them; the lady and the prince.

It wreck a horrendous havoc in the ballroom and the guards immediately gathered before their unconscious bodies.

The rest was history, and only the young lady's father the Duke and a few royal officials had a knowledge about this tragic incident. Not even the young lady's brothers had any knowledge of it as they were currently out the state. They kept it a secret as to find the culprit, because once the news of the young lady and the prince being in a state of coma came out; the culprit certainly would come back.

Regarding the prince, no one had known how he is currently now. Only assuming that he, too, might still be in a coma just like you are.

The chandelier.. it sort of the same as the incident on the theater. How is this possible? Could this be a mere coincidence?

"That's all I can say, milady."

"Ah, I couldn't thank you enough." you rubbed her hand which causes her cheeks to flushed in both shock and embarrassment, her eyes beaming as she nodded frantically.

"You can count on me, milady!"

You've decided for now to go on easy on them, for now, that is. It's quite difficult to make a decision for this body that doesn't belong to you. But you'd have to ease up a little, and observe your surroundings by studying everyone's characters in this manor. By then, you'll definitely know what to do until you can think of a way to get back to your real life.

A few days had passed since then, and surprisingly they had called atleast a few private doctors the manor had, and yet they couldn't exactly tell what was wrong with you. You rolled your eyes, how could they? How could a doctor could possibly know that you were another soul, from the modern era in someone's body. Might as well call the shaman for this, but you ain't gonna risk that and possibly had yourself labeled as a witch.

Sighing, just why every door has terrible outcome behind them?

Apparently, after a series of failed attempts, the doctor simply assume that you might have an amnesia. Of course, they were skeptical as the chandelier didn't even collide against your damn head so how could you even? Trauma? Probably. That's why the doctor had asked for you to recuperate first and they'll return after a two weeks.

"We can never tell more than five people as it would surely start a rumour and possibly threaten the house of Solon, especially you, milady, has a significant position in the political affairs along with your father, the Duke."

"Losing a fragment of memories, is a fatal mistake. If by any chance it is proven, we had to keep it as a secret. We surely would help you regain your memories back by then, milady."

You could only nod and go along with them as you sipped through your teacup. What else have you to say? Your only one priority is to get back to your old life as soon as you can. Who cares what they are up to?

Somewhere in the manor's quarters—the news quickly reached the every and each person's ears, causing havoc and surprise onto everyone's faces.

"So it's due to the lady losing her memories, that she's treating us good now?"

"I didn't know that was possible!"

"Ha, we could use this to our own advantage."

—♚—

Over the course for the past few weeks, you brought a hell lot of papers with you, stacking them up in the library where you could see them easily.

A role.

Another role, the young lady; you studied the young lady's character by gaining as much as information you could gather by the maids and guards, or anything you could lay your eyes on, either by blatantly asking them or by sneaking in to their conversations.

Taking a deep breathe in, your eyes fluttered as it opens—the dust particles floating in the sun rays flew past your vision, the background gradually growing vague and blurry. Lifting your feet, and another one and so on through the entire room; imitating the lady's way of walking, and how she carries herself, how she talks, how she reacts, how she gaze at someone depending on who they are.

It wasn't perfect, for the information was tremendously limited. However, you had to do best with what you only have.

Somehow, you notice yourself growing somewhat petty and impatient in this body. You weren't entirely sure if it's a fragment of the lady's personality, or yours. It's just that, you tend to voice out without thinking much nowadays which kind of scares you.

Sighing tremendously like any other day you did as you sat on the bench in the center of the garden, where you've been seating yourself for quite awhile now to revise your plans but for some reasons which had you annoyed was another maid standing beside you. You tried to hushed her away before but she reasoned with you that she was assigned to look after you, for you still haven't recovered. How are you suppose to do it with her presence then?

"Look at me, I'm already walking!"

"But, milady. It's dangerous."

"Oh god, leave me alone." Standing up on your feet with these pair of heels drilling a hole on your sole, you lifted your gown, grabbing your heels much to the maid's utter shock and went on your way to the manor, completely bare feet. Thinking of what to eat for today before doing the rest of what you want to do in your room instead. Scrap the fresh air while revising your plans, seriously.

"Milady!" the maid held the need to ask for you to slow down as she gradually increase her speed after you who were obviously trying to evade her.

The sun must be plotting to burn you alive today, seriously. Sure, it was nice to live in such an extravagant, wealthy ass manor but it reminds you nothing but of your parents, totally irritating.

Hm?

You paused on your tracks when your peripheral vision caught sight of an intricate carriage pulling up in the entrance. Curiosity engulfed your foggy mind as you squint to take a good look of who's inside it.

"Milady!—ah!" The maid almost stumble on your back, gulping immensely down her throat as she almost sell her life for the day.

“Who’s.. that?”

The maid followed your line of vision, eyes widening at what met her sight. “Oh! That is Sir Noa!"

"N-noa?"

"Yes! Milady, that is the third son of the Solon family, young Marquess Noa. It is your younger brother, young lady.”

Your younger brother.. your younger brother? your younger brother—what?!

Wait-what? You let out a breath of gasp as the young tall man with humongous dark aura circulating over him—step one foot each closer and everything behind him grew smaller. His intimidating orbs softens into spring like gentle of the petals and his lips kisses his rosy cheeks as he continued to get closer, closer..

And closer.

“Young lady.”

His hair—as if a silk fabric of black and golden blond pouring altogether like a brewed tea to the quarters of a patterned teacup. Pouring down over to cover bits of his flattery eyelashes. His voice; just so much akin to his aura yet it seems like as if he intentionally softens his vocal chords to match your feeble form, yet still strong enough as if to acknowledge your presence.

“I’ve came home.”

"U-uh, welcome home?" you gave him a small smile, unsure if it's the right thing to do but still it won't hurt since he's supposedly the lady's younger brother, right? Fuck. You seriously have no idea, you forgot to ask the maid whether the lady and this boy are close enough.

Yet the first thought you had was, just how old the hell is this boy for him to be this tall?!

He cleared his throat. "I had to say that I missed you alot after horrendous months without being by your side, sister. How have you been doing?

You're about to cringe, he called you sister? What are you supposed to say, brother? I'm certainly doing fine, brother! Or, why are you even asking this, brother? Or, i've just went to—ugh! Just go along with it, seriously!

Shaking your head with a small smile forming on your lips, "I'm doing all well, brother."

His eyebrows knitted in utter confusion. Well shit, was that a wrong call?! "B-brother? Have you ever called me that?"

"U-uh-"

"Sir," the maid exclaimed a tad bit loud for your throbbing ears, "The lady are currently recuperating after falling into terrible sickness, I had to bring the lady to get her daily meds right now."

"Wait? Sickness?" Noa furrowed, the bright smile on his face dissipates as worry consumed his heart. "Milady, are you- no, I assume you don't feel any pain, now?"

"Y-yes, I rested alot, actually."

Noa was about to say something but held the need to do so, opting to brought his usual smile. "I was actually wondering if we could have a sparring session by noon like we always used to, but hearing such terrible news made me think that we could do that some other day."

Uh? S-sparring session? W-what is he saying? You stuttered as you ask him. "Sparring session?"

"May I be as bold as to get your permission again to hold a sparring session with you milady, as we often did? I've improved quite more than you think, milady."

What the fuck are you suppose to say? What in the sparring session is he saying? Swords? Fighting swords? And does he mean the real heavy words that the knights used?! The sword you used during theater are only made out of plastic, and was the only material you practice during lessons, so you couldn't imagine how the real swords would feel on your palms. It dawned on you on that one particular day that you tried to grab the real deal of a sword in an exhibition, and your wrist almost break in a half because of it!

What are you supposed to say now? Should I reject it? Should I take it? But he was asking for my permission! But keyword was freaking 'again'! It means the lady has never rejected her younger brother's request for sparring session! What should I do? You weep into your internal void.

"Sure." your tongue betrayed yourself, well goodbye to your life. The young man instantly had a smile so beaming it blinded your vision, saying a few more words before he soon took his leave, pressing a soft kiss on your hand before doing so.

"Oh, shit." you stood there, utterly frozen.

"Milady, you—yourself often went to sparring session with the guards whenever you had a slight change of mood, or when you need to take some fresh air. It was a usual hobby you and your younger brother often do together—what's wrong milady?"

"N-nothing, it's just the heat, I assume."

—♚—

A dinner with your supposedly younger brother for now turn out to be fairly serene, not that you'd expect it to be utter chaos but you were thinking that he would bombarded you with numerous questions, however you were beyond glad that it isn't the case. You took numerous glances at him taking a couple of sips from his teacup, as he thumbed through the pages of his book.

Noa, seems rather quiet than what his outer demeanour looks like—you'd expected him to atleast be bold or atleast a sharp tongue alike his piercing orbs. However, maybe it's too early to say. Plus, he probably has a different treatment towards each person. So were you actually right that he had a close relationship with his sister, the lady?

Time will only tell.

Ugh, this is trouble. You couldn't stop your hand from trembling pathetically even when you gripped it with the other as you walked side by side with Noa to the site where the sparring session will be held. You were about to cry over how scared you were and seriously, you actually thought that maybe you could pretend over how weak you are due to your sickness. Ha! That's it, that's definitely it. Play swords with him a little and then pretend you got hurt, fall to the ground, and faint! Perfect.

Determination blazes your orbs, as you stood before the young man who has now a pair of swords on his palms. With a bright grin on his face as he twirls the other onto his right hand, showcasing his talents to you. Huh, this kid. It's as if he's trying to show you how good he is in such an odd way. But that's normal isn't? A little kiddo proving his strength to his older siblings?

"Milady, here." the sword on his left palm caused you to sweat cold despite the scorching sun above the sky. You formed a smile awkwardly, wondering how you could even grab the sword.. Should you grab it with your two hands? But wouldn't that make it too obvious for the boy? You're dead either way, honestly.

Circling your fingers beneath the handle had you shutting your eyes tight, gripping it—afraid of what is about to happen.

"Sister?"

Your eyes shot open upon his voice calling out for you, concern adorning his sharp features. "Are you okay?"

"O-oh yes?" You forced a smile, "I am, no need-" Hold for a freaking second, what is this? Your widened orbs fell on the sword on your right hand, squinting at how oddly.. light it was. Like it wasn't heavy at all? Huh- oh my god?

Don't tell me that this is perhaps because of the lady's body? That she is probably capable of swordsmanship? Why have you never heard from the maids about the lady's skill in swordsmanship? Did they or did they knew about it? Either way, you had to find it out later. As your mind were currently amazed that you had never thought that you would gain her strength! How could you forget? It is your soul that currently hosts the lady's body.

You were beyond ecstatic to hold a light sword, amazed by your newly found ability, you tried to swing the sword in such a way that it feels like clouds. This is it. You could push through this and not risk your life before the lady's brother.

"Sister, that's not how you hold a sword."

Uh? Your eyes terribly widened, instantly holding yourself from playing with the sword any further. Alerted by his words, you were dumbfounded over what to answer.

A low, lighthearted giggle instead met your ears. "I didn't know that you, my sister, had the ability to joke?"

Shaking his head in amusement, "Everyday you intrigued me, sister." launching his sword up in the air, you prepared for his attack by dodging it slightly.

Your speed. That was new. Your vision fixated on every motion of Noa's tight grip on his sword as he prepares for another attack, somehow someway—his movement sort of felt like quite slow to you.

It's not that he's slow, it's that you could calculate his movement in a tremendous speed that you could dodge it easily. Amazement consumed your thoughts that this is truly the lady's ability. Pulling a slight smirk, you raised your sword and in an instant—it collided against Noa's, a total stare down occurs for a couple of seconds when you caught his eyebrows furrowing.

Huh?

He pulls away, stepping backward as he twirls his sword in his index finger.

"Why did you?"

Tilting his head sideways back and forth, he lets out a tiny scoff which had your stomach churning. "Nothing in particular, milady."

"Right- Agh!" you shut your eyes tight at his inhumane speed, beyond surprised at his impatience of not letting you finish your sentence. He's too strong, too much strong for you. Noa tightened his grip on his handle, pressing the blade's weight even harder on yours which causes your foot to lose it's footing, stumbling slightly but before you could prepare, you gasped at Noa raising his arm up in the air, launching the sword onto your face.

Is he trying to kill me?! Why is he getting faster each second?!

You pushed up your sword against his blade almost as fast as you, yet once again you were beneath the soil and he has the upper hand. You tried to counterattack against him but you yelp in pain when he suddenly pulls away once again, causing the blade to graze against your palms.

“Sister!?” Noa immediately get on his knees, his voice stuttering as he took your wounded hand in his. His lips blowing a breeze on your hand, causing you to frowned as you hissed at the slight pain. You observed him looking after you with the utmost care, as if you truly meant a lot to him, or the lady, apparently.

“Sister? May I ask you something?”

“Y-yes brother?” shit, that sounds too awkward for you to be honest. You could never get used to it.

"You're not her, aren't you?" A deathly silence occurs as he lifted his attention on you with his intense sharp upturned eyes that held infatuation awhile ago, but now a cold indifference inside.

You froze, “H-huh?”

Your maid's jaw dropped upon falling on your form, dropping the laundry basket she was holding as she strides off to you, “Milady! Are you okay?!”

Noa raises his palms at the approaching maid, "Stop right there."

H-how did he know? Your hand clutches the hem of your dress, your inner heart shaking vigorously as he took each step closer to you. Instinctively lowering your head down as his purplish and golden woven patterns on his collars came into view, the sunlight being covered by the growing grey dark clouds.

"The young lady ain’t this feeble and pathetic, weird isn’t?” his voice strikes your rampant heart cold and deep akin to the glint on his sword, wrapping his hand around your wrist, tightening it much to your growing pain. “She could never make such trivial mistake and yet, you did."

“Noa, what do you think you’re doing?!” You exclaimed, you tried to hold the lady's character and yet you can't help the way your heart was shivering to your core. How can you when this guy before you is just as much as his sister?! "Touching me without my permission like this is atrocious!"

They emitted a total intimidating aura, with those piercing orbs threatening to devour you alive. You had a slight wonder if he had the same infamous hobbies as his sister? Those eyes held downright blood lust inside it, you couldn't imagine how far he would go once he knew that you weren't the young lady. You couldn't even have the opportunity to study this man at all! You've failed!

"And you see, I've been observing you for quite awhile. The way you carry yourself, the way you turn and look at me—is nothing alike the young lady.”

How did he notice? How come?! You've studied the young lady's character very well, you imitated every single thing of her and yet he notice and are able to see through you. Wasn't there enough information? Have you made the wrong call?

A scoff of disbelief escapes his lips as his dragon eyes narrowed even further, “And you see, the young Lady has never called me by the name Noa when we're by ourselves together."

You tried to keep yourself still and firm as he keeps closing the distance dangerously between you both.

“She..” his voice turns into a feathery like brush against the edges of your lips, yet held a thousand prickly needles along the tip. “—calls me Riki.”

Your eyes widened horribly at his words. Well what in the actual fuck, congratulations, you're officially being sent into the coffin! How could you ever know of a nickname between siblings?!

His eyes sharp and intense, akin to dragons roaring thunders and fires mixing with thousands of swords bound to rip your flesh apart. He grabbed your wrist even tighter you could let out a yelp yet you held the need to do so as he pulled you closer, forcing you to look at his intense spiraling dark orbs.

“Who are you?”

What are you supposed to say now? This man is no fool. One word and he might, no—definitely he would rip your head apart for fooling him. After all, the lady's are deemed to be a wicked person, then how couldn't he as her younger brother turned out to be the same well?

Think, (Name)! Have your skill had truly gone to waste? Your palms supporting your torso had been trembling so much you swore you are about to faint.

“Huh? Am I seeing this right? Marquess Noa using such force against his older sister?” an unfamiliar face appeared in the distance, approaching you two. "That's quite un-gentleman of you, I fear."

You observed as Ni-ki’s eyes rolled in annoyance before he turned over his shoulder and it gave you a clear view to the person in question. “Perhaps, you shall keep your pathetic nose inside your quarters, shouldn’t you, General?”

Shrugging his shoulders, the man did. “I don’t know,” your rattled orbs fell upon a jet black slicked hair, faint smirk paired with those glowing grey orbs, a scabbard hanging down his hips as his overalls consists of intricate patterned jacket over his inner black shirt with few buttons off, exposing his well toned chest and neck adorned with gleaming jewels. “Maybe we shall ask you then, milady?”

Who the fuck is this other guy?! Why they keep appearing one after another?! Can't they give you a break?! You were beyond cornered as if your feet were on the scattering edge of the cliff with those two pair of orbs looking down at you—their intimidating and piercing aura threatening to consume you akin to an enormous eagle and a hissing black panther before you, who's only a mere tiny bouncing bunny.

Would this really be the end of your life?

💌TAGLIST: @rikimylove , @nopenopebutyepyep , @fairycheol , @strvlveera , @vbxrin , @xxvyjoy , @pleasantfestivaltriumph , @txtmetonight ,

#enha #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enha imagines #enha x reader #enhypen oneshots #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x female reader #enha fluff #jungwon smut #enhypen smut

205 notes · View notes

aloneatpeace · 7 months

Text

In Another Universe

Chapter 19

Earth 838

You walk towards the entrance of the temple through the dirt and destroyed ground the boot sound creating a threating atmosphere. You close your eyes searching for America. America gasp when she felt a presence behind her.

You open your eye when you hear footsteps and Infront you stand castile, Winchester brothers, Mikaelsons and mystic falls gang. Sam speaks up “you want the girl; you’ll have to go through us”

You tilt your head to side at their approach “fine “

Castile was the first one to jump at you before he can get near you, you throw him away. The vampires come crashing as some hit you in the face and repeatedly punch was thrown on you. Having enough you blast them away. Sam come at you but you use lift your hand as red mist wrap him around start to crush his bones dean who was checking on Cas yell at you. Suddenly where thrown away.

“Sorry darling” you blast him away as soon as he speaks. Klaus run towards you throwing you away hitting a rock making you hiss when you stand up Cas send you another hit.

“End this now we don’t want to hurt you” Stefan said

Enraged you rise with glowing red eyes floating in midair “HURT ME? HURT ME? YOU WILL NEVER HURT ME AGAIN”

Red mist circle around you with closed eyes you whisper “No more vampires”

A huge red wave hit everyone was thrown away by it when it’s clammed down suddenly every vampire was falling down on knee not just them but every vampire that around the world become the victim of your wrath as excursing pain was shoot through their body they scream in agony before their dying truly.

“Get inside” Wong yell from inside of the temple and Cas and the Winchester follow him.

Once they are inside bonnie run towards them with a silent question on her face at Sam’s pitiful expression, she closes her eyes as a tear fall down her cheeks.

“don’t worry she’ll be trapped in mirror dimension” Wong reassure them

As you step inside the temple start to shift various shapes and size and in one hallway you see a silhouette, walking towards in you come to see its yours and you look around finding reflections of you in every sides. You lift your hand but sharp ends of mirror rise pointing towards you. Frustrated you send red blast but it bounces around you breath heavily as it does.

Outside Klaus wake up with a gasp and disorientated, he walks towards where Elijah, Rebekah and Kol lie expecting them to be alright as the rest of them but they didn’t. he could feel his vampire side of him no longer. He isn’t a hybrid anymore just a werewolf that survived because loop in nature.

You look at the mirrors before slowly extending your hand and its sink right through glass.

Sam and Dean run towards where Bonnie and America were being kept securely. Seeing them coming without rest of them bonnie look at them confused. “Where are the rest?”

Dean look at Sam not knowing how to say, Sam eyes where apologetic which only made her more worried and angered. Cas shows up with Klaus with him as he found the latter survived due to the loophole.

Klaus teared eyes and enraged face only conformed her worries. “We have to get her out of her now” Wong said and try to conjure a portal, but only a tiny spark came.

“What happened?” America asks

“Kamar- Taj has fallen” Wong answer

Wong who tries again to create a portal was failed when his ring vanished with light red mist was on his ring, he stares at his hands with fear before turning to them “she is here.”

Bonnie move towards the door but it was slammed shut with every door on that room making them trapping themselves in the room dean turn to Cas “get her out of here” he node but before he can hands come from the puddle of water he was standing under reach out tug him down through the water.

“NO CAS” dean scream but it was done and Sam, Klaus and bonnie watches every guard that was near the puddle was fated the same as Cas.

“reflections” Wong whisper before yelling “she is using the reflections. Cover them”

Sam, bonnie and Klaus grabbed whatever they found that could use cover water puddles to prevent you from coming in throw it the puddle. America who was covering one with a piece of cloth pause when she sees something in the near puddle, she leans in to get a closer look suddenly an eye of your open making her scream in fear and wipe it away quickly.

She crawls back and bonnie call her “you alright?” America let out a breath and lean against the golden plate “yeah” before she can move a hand came through the plate making her shriek dean who was closer to her pull her away from the hands.

They watch with fear and anticipation you head come through the plate your body bends in abnormal way cuts across the face and body you crawl out of it with sickening bone crunching sounds you stand heads held high.

You walk towards the center slowly saying “you gave all those lives just to keep me from my family”

“You took those lives; you killed my friends” bonnie snap at you making you look at her “you cannot enter across the multiverse” Wong adds

“I’m not a monster bonnie, I’m a mother” you said with no anger in your voice as if you’re stating a fact.

“y/n, you have no children. They don’t exist” Sam said emphasizing the last sentence

“Oh, but they do. In every other universe. I know they do. Because I dream of them every night” you said with soft smile remembering the dreams. Everyone in the room share a look as you clasp your hands together red mist foaming a branch at the end darkhold appears and like serval branches of red mist with a small round shape of that represent each universe, the sound of boy’s laughter echoes as they watch in that red mist your boys playing around.

“Of my boys” the small chatter of the boy’s sound asking the other you something “of our life together in another “you, Alex and the boys huddled together smiling as the other you smiling down at them with the other Alex hands around you and boys. A pure happiness on their faces. America watches you as you watch the life that could have been you with a sad smile. A part of her understand why you are doing this but its her life.

You look at them in sadness “every night the same dream” you flick your wrist closing the book and look up to Sam “and every morning the, the same nightmare”. Sam knew what happened to was unfair and unjustifiable and he blame himself not being fast enough to prevent this fast enough even then he doesn’t know if he could’ve stopped it but at least he could’ve tried harder. He doesn’t know why seeing you pain was affecting him this much. Maybe you’re right they are hypocrite both Sam and dean would go hell and back for each other and it had consequences both for them and innocent people, dean also knows that. Klaus killed elena a teen just like America for unlock his werewolf part in way you both are same but also different at the same time.

“What if you reach them?” bonnie asks “what happens to the other you, their mother? What do you thing that Alex would say?”

You stand silently but everyone can feel that question wasn’t appreciated Wong who use this opportunity to sent serpents at you. You block them with as the snakes hiss at you before disintegrate them you throw Wong hitting him on a pilar making him pass out.

Bonnie chants before thrusting her hands up sending fire towards you. The bright red mist swallows the fire sending it back making bonnie slam against the wall she falls as hit was stronger than she thought. Klaus run towards you but was lifted above the ground throwing him towards the brothers making them fall down as well.

You raise your hands a red thread immobilizes America as she was lifted and you absorb the raw power as the teen let out a scream wave of red mist that’s connects to America start to have mix of glimmering silver color indicating the power of America being sucked out. The teens eyes roll backs barely conscious, suddenly a star shaped portal open up.

Klaus, Sam and dean stand quickly they both share look before running towards the teen you blast them but suddenly the clock that’s Sam used earlier came in taking the hit and pushing the teen and them self into the portal.

“Hold on each other” Sam shout loudly as the three passes through the universes, they grip each other’s hands keeping connected them. The universe changes from comics verse to largely evolved verses.

Finally, they crash land on one of the buildings. Wincing they lay there for moment before standing up “you okey kid?” dean ask

America looked at with disbelief and astonishment “you saved me”

“We hope so” Sam said as he looks at cloak of levitation seeing that turns its end as if it’s also looking at him.

“Surprised you guys didn’t puke” she said

“Trust me, we had weird trips it’s not the first time…” before dean can finish his line, he run to a chimney on the roof puking into its “crap”. Sam tries everything in his will not puke asking from side line if he is okey

“There is it” America said

Dean collect himself before turning to them seeing Klaus stand silently looking out street above them. “You alright”

Klaus turn to them “how was she able kill not only my family but the entire vampires that was living back there?” his voice is low filled with anger and grieve not only he lost his family but also his vampiric side of him. The filling of half that he always felt came now its vampiric side not his werewolf.

America lowers her head in shame guilty filled her stomach knowing his family died because of her.

“She can re write reality that’s how.” Sam said “I’m sorry but we all lost our friends, we have to go back Bonnie and Wong are alone there, America?” Sam turns to her

“I don’t know how” she said shrugging her shoulder

Klaus let out a humorless laugh “what’s that love? Surely you know how you got us here didn’t you?”

“I don’t know, I was learning back in my home” she said low voice

“Hey let’s make things complicated” Sam come standing between them “I am sure we find a way out”

“UNAUTHORISED ENTERY DITETED”

The robotics voice makes them startled; they look up to see five robots Ultron hover over them hands ready to use blast if it required.

“SUBJECTS SCANINING INITAITED” one said as it scans them “SCANINING COMPLETED, FEAMALE SUBJEST INDICATE EMNERSE POWER. MALES SUBJESTS IS HARMLESS”

“ASKING FOR NUTERALSIZE THE THREAT”

Through the camera the illuminate watches the unwelcomed universe jumpers stands anticipating the next move of the Ultron.

Series masterlist

23 notes · View notes

crazy-stupid-potato · 9 months

Text

This is mad long, bare with, or don't lmao

TW's for: References to depression, r*pe, a*use towards women, and a bunch of other women rights related issues. I don't go in depth, but they are very much there. Be careful. Look after your mental health, please. Also a smidgen of spoilers for the Barbie movie at the end.

So, this whole tangent began with the Barbie movie. I've wrote all my thoughts down in a notebook, that's how I know what I'm going to type - vaguely. This will seem insane to have come from the Barbie movie, but I think it will hopefully be coherent. (Not like anyone will read this, lol. I am NOT anywhere near popular enough for this to even get a comment but here we go)

Right. A bit of context to my life. Since I was about 14, I have always felt that I am some sort of trans. For a while I thought I was non-binary, then I thought I was gender-fluid, then (a recent development) I thought I was a guy. So, you can imagine the absolute loop I have been thrown through when I realised that what I might have been feeling is internalised, borderline, misogyny.

Wild right? Let me explain.

Since I was 11, I have repeatedly heard the horrors of being female in this world. The rape/murders that happen on a daily basis. The horrors towards women in the past. The continued disregard for female autonomy. The abuse faced at the hands of people who are supposed to protect us. It's all horrific. Not only this, but I have seen, heard, learnt, about the way society completely destroys women. The lack of acknowledgement for the pain of females', the constant dismissal of mental illnesses, physical illnesses and disabilities (this also happens with males, too, I am aware, especially in the mental health department, but this section of this post is about people with the female anatomy.) The blatant disregard towards women who report abusive partners or stalkers is disgusting. (And that is just in 1st World countries where human rights are supposed to be the best. The horrors that happen in other countries are worse, but I am writing about what I know. I cannot say anything about other countries other than I know that there are some truly atrocious things happening to women in a lot of them because I am not educated on those situations. But believe me, I see it.) I see people AFAB lament the horrors of having the female anatomy. The wish to not have periods, or a uterus at all. The constant pressure put on women to look a certain way all the time. To not be too thin or too fat, not have too much hair but have enough that it doesn't look like you're trying too hard, etc. Honestly, the Gloria speech in Barbie is the best one I have ever heard about what it's like to be a woman. I see people expressing disgust at pregnancies, how they never wish to have one because it'll make them look ugly, or because of the complications that come with it. I have seen it, and do see it, all. For the past 7 years I have seen it all.

Can you imagine how much that has f-ed me up? I'm sure you can, because I'm sure it's also true for a lot of you.

All of this has made me hate the idea of being a woman.

When I was in my early years of high school (I'm in the UK and we start high school at 11 and finish at 16) I always said how I would "love to be a boy" because I always saw it as easier. I hated being a girl because everything was so shit. And that carried on into my later years of high school.

As I was introduced to the wonderful different gender identities that exist, I began reading and hearing stories of how trans/non-binary/gender-fluid, etc, people felt before they realised they were what they are. And I thought, "oh, damn. That me." So I began experimenting with labels. But even whilst I did that, whilst I played around with pronouns, names, hairstyles, clothing, I always felt this deep want to wear pretty dresses and have long hair. But I rejected those wants because I was "trans/non-binary/gender-fluid now and if I want those things then I can't be any of those." Which, yes, I know, is very binary of me. I understand that anyone can wear pretty dresses and skirts and have ling, flowy hair that they place sparkly pins in. I know. But you have to understand how damn difficult it is to ignore the stuff you have been taught all your life. I wanted to be called she/her but at the same time rejected those feelings because the thought of being a woman made me sick.

But then I watched the Barbie movie.

Now, I don't remember my childhood much. I don't know if it was what you would call "traditional girlhood." But I know it was good. And I know many AFAB have experienced horrendous childhoods, which hurts me to think about every time. But when I saw the ending of the Barbie movie. When the videos of those girls and women were playing. I felt something in me. I'm sure you've all heard different renditions of how the montage made women feel, and a lot of them is how I would describe how I felt. So, I won't get into it. But just know I felt a shift in me.

As well as that montage, other things in the movie got to me. The inherent femininity of it, for one. I know from discussions with other people, and from seeing many videos/blogs online, that what I'm going to mention is a common experience for a lot of AFAB. I hated the colour pink. Despised it. I only very very recently, before the Barbie movie, began admitting that the colour wasn't so bad. But the Barbie movie made me think that, omg, I might actually love the colour. Alongside the colour pink, I loved the outfits of the Barbies'. They were so freeing to see. As I wrote previously, I wanted to wear pretty skirts and dresses and have pretty hairstyles, but always refused to acknowledge that. Seeing the Barbies' in their overtly feminine clothing (again, I know I'm leaning into gender binary but please give me some slack. It's hard to write when you're not a novelist) made me feel giddy. I saw them and was like "pretty pretty pretty" and not just because all the women were beautiful lmao. It lit up a spark of joy in me seeing them dress in those clothes. That's how I can best describe my feelings. I just suddenly felt that I could wear those things. Weird, huh?

Another thing in the movie is the portrayal of happy older women.

This again links with the video montage, but also links with the old lady at the beginning of the movie saying she knows she's beautiful, with Ruth Handler being so gentle with Stereotypical Barbie and not ridiculing her for being stupid or naive. It also links with Gloria. I freaking loved Gloria. All of these portrayals made me so happy because it gave me a sudden sense of hope that I will be okay one day.

As someone with severe depression and probably autism/ADHD, who doesn't remember not being depressed, that really spoke to me. These women were happy. They were okay with themselves. No, the LOVED themselves. It was beautiful.

This movie healed me, just a bit, and let me make the first real steps to healing fully. I'm still not 100% sure about my gender identity, but tbh I don't quite care. I'm starting to wear makeup often, starting to take care of my body better. I also bought a cute little Stitch dress lmao, and a white, frilly tank-top with purple flowers on it. I'm embracing my feminine side and I've never felt more free.

It's a wonderful feeling. I'm surprised myself that this all came from a Barbie movie. But, at the same time, I think I was beginning to realise this about myself before the movie. Having finished college and not needing to worry about Uni as I'm not going has given me the freedom to actually look at myself, internally, and ask "what do I feel?" Again, linking back to the Barbie movie when Ruth says, "Take my hands...Now, feel." And I have done. I've asked what my brain needs, and it's full of pretty dresses and pretty hairstyles and warmth and a want to live again.

I'm aware that this may seem silly to a lot of people. Maybe even childish. But I don't care. And that's a lot for an 18 year old to say, because many people my age, and older, do care. A lot.

This has just been an introspection, but I chose to share it because maybe it will help other people.

(Also, heavy disclaimer if you got this far. I don't know what terms are still used now, or how they're used. And writing about girl/womanhood and femininity whilst also trying to be inclusive to those who have the female anatomy but don't identify as a woman, and those who don't have the female anatomy but identify as women is very difficult. So, I deeply apologise if I used the term AFAB wrong, or if it is no longer an accepted term. Also, if anything else in this post is wrong/offensive or incorrect, again I'm sorry. Please let me know what is wrong and how to fix it and I will do my best to edit this post with the updated terminology/fixes.)

#this was a doozy #drink some water #stretch #this took me an hour to write #barbie #the barbie movie #barbie 2023 #barbie the movie #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #self introspection #introspection #women #beautiful women #love life again #womens rights #speak up

17 notes · View notes

astralfrontier · 12 days

Text

I think I've figured out what I don't like about Star Trek Discovery. But to explain it, I have to talk about what I do like, and where I am - which is midway through Season 2.

First, Michael Burnham, herself, is a good character. She's confident, talented, driven, capable of making mistakes (and makes a very big one at the opening of the show), but also capable of taking big risks and coming out on top. She admits when she's wrong, but she's not afraid to tell other people when they are. For the most part, she's the sort of character we're told Starfleet wants to have as officers.

Second, she's surrounded by interesting oddballs. Stamets is a wonderful academic who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty, and he's got a loving and tender relationship which is a fucking rarity in Starfleet. Tilly is like a visitor from a more mature Lower Decks. And so on. It's really Michael's show, but she's got a good crew around her - some of whom can give her orders.

Third, the ship's concept is really neat. It's a combination flying science labs and black-ops project, like Half-Life's Black Mesa in space.

So I'm still watching the show, because I feel all this potential there, but I sometimes wrestle with it. And here's why.

Every plotline has to orbit Michael Burnham. Most recently, she takes a mentally tortured Vulcan to a planet for help and the point of being on that planet, seemingly, is to just tell her a story about what happened, then see some exposition. That trip could have just happened, she could look angsty while specialists do their work, and then there's a scene of truth if not reconciliation.

But this isn't an isolated case. Just over and over, the writing pushes her to the center of the action. She's got personal connections to every single thing that matters. Some hypothetical time traveler could apparently screw up the Federation for centuries just by messing with her timeline a tiny bit.

The times when this doesn't happen - like when it's Stamets, not her, in a time loop - are so delicious, because she's smart and clever and has this out of context problem thrown at her repeatedly, and she prevails. It's episodes like this that convince me Burnham is a good character independent of the spotlight the writers seem intent on locking onto her 24/7.

(This is also my problem with Voyager - some of the characters there are good, some are meh, a few are fantastic, but MY GOD the writing is like a vampire that just sucks the enjoyment out of watching it)

The show is having wild hate-sex with TOS-era canon. The show really, really wants to remind you that it's the immediate prequel to TOS. Like look, here's Captain Pike, here's Spock, there's the Enterprise, but we're also going to drop this multiversal mushroom network on you out of NOWHERE, we're going to a lot of stuff with Klingons, we're just doing all this wild shit.

I'm glad they're swinging for the fences though. The Sphere is probably the most impactful encounter they have in Season 2 in terms of its story impacts, and it's just such a wonderful TOS-era thing. There's this big weird object in space, there's literally nothing like it anywhere else, it's dangerous but not malicious, we're going to pit Federation ingenuity against the puzzle it represents, and we're going to have a good outcome if we're lucky.

The show sure likes to sleep on its ensemble. I love Saru and Stamets and Tilly, but I wish we'd heard more about that weird cyborg lady, Airiam, who's on the bridge before she's under it. They dropped TIG NOTARO on us as a sassy engineer, give her more love. Detmer clearly has a ton of emotion she's processing. I want to see her actress, Emily Coutts, in more stuff. It feels like they almost put in too many characters and then shone spotlight on the same few all the time, and then would pull others from their back pocket for moments of drama.

All of these things are why I'm looking forward to Season 3, where it seems the writers hit the reset button on a lot of this and are trying something new. I don't know if it'll be a better new, but it'll solve the problems Season 1-2 have given me. And I want to see what Strange New Worlds does.

#star trek #star trek discovery #star trek disco spoilers

6 notes · View notes

out-of-control · 10 months

Text

BOUND

PREV: RED

NEXT: MULE

words: 4066

warnings: alcohol, explicit sex

summary: jax drags jim to a party, but jim has some other things on his mind.

The party has shitty music and mediocre drinks, and Jax is familiar with maybe three people in the house, just so long as you don't count Jim, who had fluttered off to explore the setting almost as soon as they'd gotten through the door, even though Jax had had to nearly beg him to come along in the first place. Jax doesn't really care where Jim is, though; at the moment he's totally engrossed in some poor drunken idiot's attempts to stop repeatedly driving their tiny cartoon go-kart off a bridge. He gazes at the lower leftmost box on the TV screen, feeling kind of emotionally invested in the player's dauntless perseverance in the face of futility. That, or he's just drunk enough to be getting totally mesmerized by moving shapes and colors. Either way, Jax is more or less content.

He gets startled out of his contemplation by an object that takes him a couple of seconds to recognize as Jim’s arm being roughly thrown over his shoulder, and then Jim's nose is brushing against his ear and Jim's breath is hot on the side of his face and suddenly the plight of the stupid little car is totally fucking dead to Jax. Destabilized, he sways under Jim's weight, Jim’s cigarette burning inches from his cheek as he finds his footing.

“I want to tie you up and tease you until you’re about to cry with how desperate you are for me to fuck you,” Jim murmurs, apropos of absolutely fucking nothing.

An electric sort of shiver skitters down Jax's spine. His next moves are a no-brainer.

He gulps down another mouthful of warm beer and snakes an arm around Jim's waist, turning his head so that they're nearly kissing. He flicks his gaze down to Jim's mouth, then up to his eyes, bottle-green in the low lighting. "Yeah?” Jax whispers. “Then what?”

Jim takes a drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke right into Jax’s face. He doesn’t seem to think long before giving his response. “I want to rail you so hard you try to scream, so I shove your face into the pillow before you even get the chance and keep you there.” His voice is low, his words for Jax alone. "While I fuck you even harder."

Jax curls a finger in one of Jim's belt loops. "Then what?"

“Then when you’re right on the edge," Jim says softly, almost gently, "I’ll pull out and leave you to desperately try to get yourself off while I watch you.”

For a second, Jax can see it– Jim above him, staring down with eyes half-lidded, Jax burning and desperate below him. He turns his body and curls towards Jim, resting both arms over Jim's shoulders, like they're slow-dancing at senior prom. He bites gently at the corner of Jim's jaw and says, in a low, soft tone that curls up at the ends: "So why don't you?"

Jim smiles at that, and Jax can't even see the look in his eyes, hidden as they are behind his hair. Jim leans in, licking a stripe up the side of Jax's neck before whispering in his ear: "It's more fun this way." Then, as suddenly as he appeared, he shucks Jax's arms off his shoulders and walks away into the bustle of the party.

Jax watches him leave, and lets him disappear. For now.

–

The party is still in full swing by the time Jax decides he's had enough. Before he can leave, however, he has to collect something.

The hunt leads Jax around the whole house, stumbling up and down staircases and peering around corners. Jax finds him, finally, pouring himself another drink while eyeing a riveting game of flip cup. Jax marches right over and snags the collar of Jim's jacket, pulling him around. Jim, caught off guard, trips a little before catching himself and blinking owlishly at Jax.

"Hey," Jax says, stepping in close, "you're staying over tonight."

A smirk makes its way across Jim’s lips. He casts his eyes downward, reaches out a finger and runs it along the strip of skin peeking out from below the hem of Jax’s shirt. “Am I now.”

Hairs stand up on the back of Jax's neck. "You fucking bet you are," he rasps, trying not to let the shiver into his voice.

Jim doesn’t look away, his fingertip still barely grazing Jax’s skin. “Well that’s so kind of you.”

"Yeah," Jax whispers, "I'm a real good guy."

“Yeah,” Jim echoes, cutting his gaze up to meet Jax’s eyes with a, frankly, goofy grin. “Real good lookin’.”

Jax blinks, simultaneously shocked and furious that a line as stupid as that is actually working on him. Desperately, he tries to come up with something devastatingly cool to say in return, but the heat he’s feeling in his face must also be cooking his brain because the best he's got is: "Yeah, well– You fucking– you too. Asshole. Whatever."

Jim snorts. “Smooth,” is all he says, pulling his finger away to slip his hand into Jax’s back pocket instead.

–

The whole walk home, Jax feels like he’s vibrating. Side by side, step by step, in studiously casual silence, occasionally exchanging insubstantial comments about strangers back at the party– as if Jim hadn’t been muttering Jax’s own fantasies into his ear in the middle of a crowded house just a couple of hours ago. The booze might have worn Jax’s edges down, but the anticipation is spiking them all up again. He has to remember to breathe evenly as he picks his way along the sidewalk, every block taking him closer to what he knows is coming to him.

Jim goes up the stairs ahead of Jax, as self-assured as if it was his own apartment to which he was returning. He steps inside the apartment first, too, scarcely waiting for Jax to finish with the keys before he’s placing a palm flat on the face of the door and pushing it fluidly inwards.

Jax follows him.

The door has hardly clicked shut behind Jax’s back before Jim spins around, grabs him by the shoulders, and slams him backwards against it. Jax just barely keeps himself from moaning as his back collides roughly with the door, though any sound would have been lost regardless as Jim quickly covers Jax's mouth with his own.

Jax readily shucks off his jacket, with Jim breaking them apart just enough to tug Jax’s shirt over his head. With one arm braced across Jax's sternum, Jim fumbles with Jax's belt buckle. One jerk of his arm yanks the belt half of the way out of Jax's belt loops; a second finishes the job and leaves Jim with the black leather strap dangling from his fingers. Jax is grabbed by the shoulder and roughly turned around, Jim pinning Jax in place with his own shoulder as he takes Jax's wrists in one hand and wraps the belt around and around them with the other, tightly securing the buckle. It makes Jax a little crazy to think about Jim remembering the things that do it for Jax like this, so instead he allows the wavelengths of his arousal to amplify until they drown out all his thoughts. Well. Almost all his thoughts.

"So?" Jax can't help panting, cheek pressed against the door, heart racing. "You going to put your money where your mouth is?" he asks, as Jim shimmies Jax's pants down enough for him to step out of them and kick off his boots.

“Get on your knees,” Jim says in a low, stern voice once Jax is naked, apparently indifferent to anything Jax might have to say about this whole situation, which shouldn’t be hot to Jax, yet absolutely is.

Blood rushing in his ears, Jax turns around and gets on his knees– but then, rather than wait for any further instructions, he simply closes his eyes, leans forward, and presses his open mouth against Jim's belt buckle, a reverential, filthy kiss. Then he drags his lips lower, mouthing carefully at Jim through the fabric of his jeans, breathing him in. Jim runs a hand down the side of Jax’s head, alongside his mohawk. Then he traces back, over Jax’s jawline, curling his fingers under Jax’s chin to tilt his face upwards a little, as he gently pushes the pad of his thumb into the center of Jax's lower lip. Jax lets his jaw fall open, and Jim slips his thumb inside.

Jax briefly presses the side of his face against Jim’s hip, breathing deeply through his nose, before leaning back so Jim can switch his thumb for two fingers. Look at how good I could make you feel, Jax thinks in Jim’s direction, sucking diligently at the fingers moving in and out of his mouth. Look at how good I can be for you. Jim tilts his head and slides his fingers in deeper, Jax closing his eyes and letting out a moan in response.

Jim removes his hand. Jax keeps his mouth open, a drop of saliva hanging from his bottom lip. Jim unzips his jeans.

A few minutes into what Jax was considering a pretty good blowjob, Jim starts rummaging in his pockets with one hand, the other still gripping Jax’s hair firmly. Above his head, Jax hears the familiar whisper-scrape of metal striking flint.

Jax peeks upwards, at just the right time to watch Jim take a drag from a cigarette and blow the smoke up towards the ceiling, tendons in his neck pulled taut. Jim looks back down then, and roughly pulls Jax further down onto his cock by the hair. Jim kicks his hips forward, and Jax feels his own dick twitch as Jim rams down his throat, as his eyes begin to water, as he struggles to keep his balance with his arms bound, as his knees begin to seriously complain about the unforgiving wood floor, as the smell of smoke fills his head so strongly he thinks he must be imagining some of it.

They fall into a rhythm, forceful but steady, rocking together for a while, until Jim abruptly pulls himself away; Jax can't keep from making a sound that, maybe, possibly, could perhaps be described as a whine. But that's as close as he gets to a complaint, because in an instant Jim has dragged him up by the elbow and is hauling him across the room, through the bedroom door, and onto the mattress.

Jax squirms on top of the sheets; his bound arms make lying on his back awkward, and he struggles to sit up enough to look down the length of the bed at Jim. Jim stubs his cigarette out on Jax’s desk, and then just stands there, looking at him. "Christ," Jax pants, urgent, hard as a fucking rock, "come on, let's do this."

Jim slips off his jacket, abandoning it on the floor as he crawls up the bed after Jax. He doesn’t go very far though, befuddling Jax by simply lying down on the bed and resting his face against the inside of Jax’s thigh. Modestly, he even does his jeans back up.

"Hey, what the hell," Jax says.

“What,” Jim replies, gazing innocently up at Jax with big green eyes, “didn’t I tell you I wanted to tease you for hours?” He gently skates a finger up the skin on Jax's other thigh– and no further.

"Asshole," Jax whines, as his Judas of a dick throbs between his legs, in response to nothing more than the cadence of Jim's voice and a mostly-chaste brush of skin against skin.

Jim simply hums in acknowledgement, shuffling around on the bed a little to hold Jax’s legs apart as he starts sucking a hickey into the inside of Jax’s thigh, just inches from his dick.

"Fuck, come on," Jax pleads, chest heaving, arms folded awkwardly underneath his body. Jim is so close, if he could just–

Jim sinks his teeth into Jax’s flesh.

"Fucking asshole," Jax gasps, "Come on–"

And then Jim seems to decide Jax is being a little too noisy, because he reaches up and very rudely sticks his fingers back into Jax’s mouth. Jax bites them– softly– but then he can't really resist the urge to suck on them instead. Jim, in turn, goes back to mouthing at Jax’s skin.

The whole intricate web of nerves scattered across Jax's body seems to shift and condense down to a little patch of flesh on the inside of Jax's right thigh. He gasps and arcs, and allows Jim to drive him further and further out of his mind.

Jim nips at Jax’s thigh one last time before sitting up, eyeing Jax for a second before he uses his other hand to knead one of Jax’s nipples, pinching and rolling surgical steel through flesh. His eyes burn against Jax's skin as Jax writhes on the bed, moaning quietly around his fingers. Jim leaves Jax’s nipple alone after a few minutes to rummage through the nightstand, and Jax can feel his own heart rate pick up when he hears the drag of Jim’s zipper fucking finally being undone.

Jim takes his fingers out of Jax’s mouth, moves both hands to the back of Jax’s knees, and bends him in half. For a second, they just eye each other: Jim completely focused and Jax unraveled. And then, slowly, Jim presses inside, watching Jax’s face intently, like a cat about to pounce. A little flustered, Jax opts to simply shut his eyes, to escape more fully into his sense of touch rather than sight as he acclimates himself to the always-novel experience of having another person inside of his body. Jim pauses, keeping still for a minute as Jax adjusts before moving against him, agonizingly slow.

"Faster," Jax whispers, eyes still shut tight. "Just a little…"

“Say please,” Jim whispers back.

"Asshole," Jax breathes, rolling his eyes beneath their lids, then undercuts himself by saying: "Please." Jim obliges, moving ever so slightly faster, then faster, then faster, until he lets go of Jax’s legs to grip tightly at Jax’s hips, the fabric of his jeans rubbing roughly against Jax’s thighs. Jax hooks a leg around Jim’s back; for a little while, he wishes he could reach out, grip at Jim’s shirt and pull it over his head and rove his hands over his skin and scars and tattoos, but then he's not wishing for much of anything too complicated at all.

"Christ, I'm gonna come," Jax huffs, shoulders twingeing, eyes shut tight as he rocks along with Jim's movements.

Movements which promptly come to a complete stop.

Jax, naturally, starts cussing Jim out immediately.

Jim, if anything, appears to be gleeful about this.

"Fuck you," Jax swears, "Fuck you and your whole everything, fuck the fucking horse you rode in on–"

“You asked me why I wasn’t doing any of that at the party,” Jim interrupts, separating himself from Jax. “Now I’m doing it.” He turns his attention away from Jax, starts working his hand on his own cock, positioned right between Jax’s thighs and not touching him.

No fucking way. Absolutely not. Jax clamps his legs tight around Jim, holding Jim's arms against his sides as Jax tries sort of fruitlessly to rub his dick on whatever part of Jim might be available. Unfortunately for Jax, it doesn’t take long for Jim to free himself, and he strikes quickly, pinning Jax’s hips down tight against the mattress.

“God, look at you,” Jim remarks, eyes wild, voice low, like he's reverent of the spectacle in front of him, which is, of course, simply Jax, naked and sweaty and aching and so turned on he feels like he might die from it. “You’re such a desperate little whore for me, aren’t you.”

A bolt of arousal travels down Jax's spine and right into his cock as Jim speaks. "Yes, fine, fuck you," Jax half-yells, struggling in Jim's grip. He goes on, spitting profanities and pleas for Jim to fuck him again in equal proportions. He squirms with his wrists bound, shoulders taut and wrists chafed, and his dick vehemently vertical the whole time.

Then, Jim proposes: “Be nice and I’ll fuck you again.”

"Fuck you," Jax blurts reflexively, before snapping his jaw, closing his eyes, and breathing out through his nose.

He does like to put up a good fight. Half the fun is in putting up a good fight. But maybe he's chewed at the leash for long enough tonight. Maybe, he's ready to really submit.

"Okay," Jax says after a pause. "Okay, Jim, I'll be nice. I'll be good, please."

“Promise?”

"I promise," Jax breathes, chest heaving as he stares Jim down. He wants Jim terribly, in this moment.

“Good boy,” Jim says sweetly, and rewards Jax with a kiss. He shuffles around on the bed, giving another kiss to the very tip of Jax’s cock before bodily flipping him over, onto his stomach. Jax feels Jim’s hands rove over Jax’s back and shoulders, before that's replaced with the sensation of Jim's body weight pressing down on him. “Being so good for me,” he murmurs into Jax’s ear, and Jax thinks that maybe, he could die here, and it might not even be so bad. Jim fastens his teeth into Jax’s shoulder, at once sinking back inside Jax with an exhale. Then Jim sits up, plants a hand on the back of Jax’s head, presses his face into the mattress, and starts fucking him in earnest.

Jax takes it all, arms twisted behind his back and cheek flat against the sheets and leather cutting into his wrists and the next time he feels like he's going to come, he remembers to be nice about it.

"Jim, please, please can I come now," he hiccups, his cock rubbing back and forth against the sheets.

Jim reaches around Jax, finally putting a hand on him and says, simply, "Come for me."

Jax comes. Stomach clenched, sweat beading all over his body, arms twisted, Jax comes for Jim.

“That’s it,” Jim murmurs, stroking Jax through it, slower and slower. “That’s it.” Jim lets Jax’s breathing even out before pulling out and slipping a palm under the center of Jax’s chest to pull him upright. Shuffling backwards a little, Jim carefully takes Jax’s wrists in his hands and starts unwinding the leather. Jax closes his eyes as the tension melts from his shoulders, his body feeling achy and warm and still buzzing a little all over.

When Jim finishes, discarding the belt on the floor with a clink, Jax laces his fingers together and stretches his arms above his head: one long, glorious stretch that is not entirely unlike a second orgasm. And then he twists around and reaches a hand between Jim's legs, eager to return the favor. Jim wraps a hand around the back of Jax’s head and pulls him in close, kissing him long and slow. They stay like that, on their knees on top of Jax’s twin mattress, kissing more and more fervently as Jax works his hand, until:

“I’m close,” Jim pants against Jax’s mouth.

Two things happen in quick succession.

First, Jax stops moving his hand immediately.

Then, Jim shoves Jax backwards onto the mattress, straddling his chest and grabbing his hair in one swift movement. “I can fuck your throat instead,” he threatens breathlessly, green eyes blazing down at Jax through wisps of brown hair.

"Oh no," Jax breathes, grinning up at him. "I'd fucking hate that."

–

Jax could lie here, loosely tangled together with Jim in his bed forever, he thinks. To be honest, that’s essentially the whole plan at the moment. To lie here, skin to skin, breathing softly. And then Jim has to go and ruin it by sitting up.

By way of apology, at least, he leans over to give Jax a kiss before buckling his jeans up and leaving the room. Jax assumes he’s gone to take a shower and stretches out on the sheets, rolling his shoulders, settling in for the night.

However, Jim returns a minute later, shirtless, damp washcloth in hand, and lounges right on the bed next to Jax. “Hold still,” he whispers, gently taking Jax’s chin and tilting his face towards himself. Jim wipes under Jax’s eye, and It’s not until the towel comes away with a black smear that Jax puts it together, remembers the eyeliner he'd caked on for the party, realizes that between the tears and the sweat it probably ran all the way down to his chin, and suddenly Jax feels like he can’t breathe anymore.

Jim continues to scrub away at Jax’s face, punctuating with a, “There," like that's a normal thing to say, like it's okay to just do that to someone, to fuck them into oblivion and then cuddle them and then clean their fucking face all tender and gentle and fucking sweet, Jim just acts like it's all perfectly fine to do all of that to Jax and Jax isn't even allowed to say I love you in return.

Jim pulls his hand away and stares at Jax, with what seems to be hesitation. “Are you okay,” he asks, after looking Jax over.

Aiming for casual, Jax plasters a quick smile across his face and says, "Yeah, man, you just. Jesus, I'm still recovering. You fucking crazy person."

Jim seems to accept this answer, and wordlessly goes back to cleaning Jax’s face. They lie there together, Jim propped up on his elbow and scrubbing away, tilting Jax’s face this way and that, until Jim is satisfied and leaves the cloth on the nightstand.

And so then his face is clean. And Jim is smiling faintly down at him. And Jax can't say I love you so he cheats and does the next best thing he can think of and reaches a hand up and wraps his fingers around the back of Jim's neck and pulls him down into a soft kiss. Jim lies down, curling right up under Jax’s arm, and starts roving a hand over Jax’s chest as he settles in.

Jax blinks up at the ceiling, following a crack in the plaster by the light of the bedside lamp. For a moment he aches, and the ache is yawning, cavernous, and very cold– and then he packs it all away, folds it tightly and stuffs it into a box and kicks the box somewhere deep and dark and quiet. He turns his head and pokes his nose into Jim's hair.

"So," Jax says, "Is it too soon for you to want another cigarette?"

–

Jim sleeps like a rock. That is, until, a sudden assault of pinches compels him to open his eyes and find Jax, sitting pretty directly on top of Jim’s stomach, grinning down at him. Jim wastes no time shielding his face from the sun in the crook of his elbow after it sends a sharp pain bouncing around the inside of his skull. “Ow,” he groans.

“Good morning, James,” Jax chirps, stretching his arms over his head and looking incredibly pleased with himself. “Let’s get coffee. You wanna go get coffee?”

“I’m not really sure how you’re even alive right now,” Jim responds.

"Dunno," Jax says, his grin unflickering. "Guess your dick is a pretty good hangover cure."

“Can my dick cure my hangover too?”

"Well, can you suck yourself off?" Jax inquires, peering down at Jim interestedly.

Jim carefully lifts his arm up enough to peek up at Jax with one eye. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

"I'll take that as a yes," Jax says breezily. Then he rolls off of Jim, stands up, and says, "Hey, check this out," as he presents to Jim the dusky red bruises on the inside of his thigh. While completely naked.

Jim reaches out and skates his hand across the skin, brushing all the way up his thigh, and there's really nowhere for Jax's dick to hide when it twitches at Jim's touch. Just a little.

Jax clears his throat, face ever so slightly pink. "Anyway. Coffee," he says, and turns away from the bed– and Jim can't resist dealing a brisk slap to his ass as he goes. Throwing a middle finger up without looking behind himself, Jax marches towards the coffee machine, and Jim watches him go with a faint smile playing across his lips.

#words #wooooo 4k #apologies for the silence we both got jobs #and i (feo) got surgeried so i was working my ass off so i could feed myself after i got surgeried #anyways have some crazy gay sex !

10 notes · View notes

whitesuitjake · 2 years

Text

Seven

Danny Wagner

A/n: this came to me in a dream. That's the only way I can explain it.

Synopsis: you embody the seven deadly sins amidst a failing relationship.

Warnings: drinking, descriptive smut (oral, penatrative sex, slightly rougher sex), depression, cheating, verbal fighting, physical fighting, angst.

Word count: 4.1k

Pride

When ordinary people look at their life, and take time to assess the delicate intricacies along with the major themes, they often believe it’s not as it should be. That life could be infinitely better than it is. From trauma to difficult situations, loss and the unexpected, many lives are far from perfect.

That’s a constant for other people, repeatedly wishing that life was better, but not for you. You have everything in perfect alignment, a flawless harmony of happiness and contentment. Truly, before, your life had been rather mundane, and then you met Danny. He was the sun in the sky, the moon amongst the stars, your everything. He had truly made your life what it is now. He had opened up your world to so many further possibilities that others could never dream of having. Danny would let you travel the world with him, be his muse, his everything.

It felt like you could never lose when he was by your side. This would be the end of our story, that is if it weren’t for the steady change of disposition within you. When you had met Danny, you had been sweet, kind, and caring. But all you had received through him had given you a rather inflated ego.

The pride oozed from you with every interaction, every conversation turned to you talking about your life, and how well it was going. Presently, you were attending a party a few of Danny’s friends had thrown. It was a small affair, but loud enough to be busy, but still tame enough that you could have a well carried conversation. That’s just what you were doing. A girlfriend of a friend and you were both on the back patio, drinks in hand, conversing politely.

“Yeah, Danny’s band went on a world tour this past summer. He took me with him to see france.” You went on, telling her about the sights and how beautiful it had been.

“Oh, I’ve never been, but it sounds beautiful.”

“I mean, not a lot of people get the chance. I guess I’m just lucky.” The look on her face would have made anyone else feel ashamed, but it didn’t phase you in the slightest. The way you talked about yourself had carried the same theme for longer than not, which made you grow accustomed to the looks on people’s faces when you made a rather classist and condescending comment as such.

As you continued, she listened intently despite her growing disdain, nodding here and there. You didn’t truly lose her until you made a distasteful comment about fangirls, at which point she made an excuse about needing to refill her drink. As she walked off, you brushed off the feeling of embarrassment. This happened too often to you, people hearing the things you’d say and either becoming jealous or disinterested. Perhaps you were too open with your pride, but if people didn’t want to hear it, you’d rather not be around them anyway. True friends would let you be happy for yourself, and in turn feel happy for you.

Danny had been wandering around separate from you, making the rounds to talk to all his friends that had attended. Taking a moment to look around once coming in from the patio, you looked for your handsome boyfriend.

Greed and Envy

You found Danny amongst a few people, making them all laugh with what he said. A brief twinge of jealousy pushed through your thoughts as you envied how attentive Danny’s friends were to him. You didn’t have friends in the first place, nor anyone who would willingly listen to you, much less laugh along with you at what you would say. But no matter, the feeling wasn’t worth dwelling on.

You waltzed up to Danny and his friends, looping an arm in one of his as you sided up next to him. With your other hand, you lightly squeezed his bicep, giving him the opportunity to show you off to his friends. You were there, you knew he was proud of you, what better time? Much to your displeasure, Danny shrugged you off his arm. That was odd, he had never done that before. Normally he relished in your presence, took any chance to introduce you as his beautiful girlfriend.

Danny kept on talking as if nothing else were happening, as simply weren’t standing right next to him. This made your heart twinge, made you feel uneasy and out of place. In a room full of people you had never met, he was your rock and your safe place. However, you concealed the feeling well, pushing it deep down inside you. Gathering yourself, you decided you would make him oblige your advances whether he first wanted to or not. You reached around behind him, slipping your hand into the back pocket of his jeans and giving his ass a little squeeze. A small smirk spread across your face as you watched him, waiting for his reaction.

Danny merely froze at the contact. After taking a small moment to regain his composure, he ever so discreetly pulled your hand out of his pocket by your wrist. The smirk instantly fell from your face, replaced with such unease. This only served to further confuse you. How and why would he put talking to his friends over you? It wasn’t like him. Was he worried they wouldn’t like you? That shouldn’t matter, they should want to meet his girlfriend and be happy for him. So why wasn’t he allowing that to happen?

Your greed for his attention burned in your chest. You were not particularly fond of sharing, especially when it came to things you knew were yours. That included Danny. You wanted him to pay attention to you, not anyone else. And if he really needed to oblige others, he should do it while including you.

After trying to insert yourself into the conversation a few times and failing, mainly by Danny’s own efforts to brush you off, you turned on your heel and left. It wasn’t worth staying there and being constantly humiliated over and over, especially by your own boyfriend. If you were going to be ignored, you’d put the necessary distance between yourself and him. You’d play his game, and let your wrath out about it later.

After wandering around the party aimlessly for as long as you could before getting bored, you went around in search of Danny once more. You found him in the same general spot, but he was no longer surrounded by the group of people from earlier. He was talking to just one girl in particular. She had been a good childhood friend, and they talked with such ease and familiarity. It made you feel weird, and the same feeling from earlier took over again. He never talked to you like how he was with her. He never took the time to intently listen to you the way he listened to her. Lately, it seemed he had hardly been talking to you at all. Just the usual things, nothing more. It seemed the most contact you got with Danny these days was when he took you to bed.

Finally you had enough of watching the scene before you when he tenderly touched her arm. The envy you felt almost seemed like it was boiling off the surface of your skin. You were envious of their connection, of how they seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces, and how it felt like you and Danny didn’t. They were closer than you and Danny were. In one way, it made sense, they had known each other for years. But that truly shouldn’t matter. Danny shouldn’t let that dictate anything to him.

You had had enough. Enough of this party, enough of the way Danny had been treating you, enough of everything. You swiftly put yourself between the girl and Danny, facing the girl. “I’m so sorry to pull him away, but we have to go.” You turned and pushed Danny back to put distance between him and the girl. With that you roughly gripped Danny's arm, pulling his drink out of his hand and setting it on a nearby table. Then you proceeded to march towards the front door, practically dragging him behind you. Maybe it had been the alcohol you had consumed during that party that had given you the gull, but truly, you didn’t need alcohol to make you rash and decisive.

Danny reluctantly got in the car, pulling the keys out of his pocket and starting the car. For the short ride home, it was completely silent. You were mulling over your hurt feelings in the passenger's seat, just daring him to speak and make matters worse than they already were. As for you, you’d leave your lecture for when you were home.

Lust

The moment you got inside, Danny’s lips were on yours. It happened before you could even think about yelling at him. This was definitely his way of diffusing a situation. You laced your fingers in his long hair and pulled hard. He let out a groan of pain, repaying you by digging his fingernails into the skin around your waist that wasn’t covered by your cropped shirt. You were still bottling up your feelings about the party, but you were more than willing to put that energy into makeup sex.

You whined as his nails left crescent shaped marks in their wake. Smirking against your lips, Danny walked you backwards to the bedroom. Once there, he roughly pushed you off his lips and down onto the bed. A gasp left your mouth as he climbed on top of you, pinning your hands above your head.

A pool was accumulating between your legs as the friction from Danny’s movements became more intense. Danny moved his hands from your wrists to the bottom of your shirt, swiftly pulling it over your head, exposing your bra.

“Fuck me.” it came out in a gasp, but your lust for him fueled your every move as you only focused on how he made you feel, and how much you needed that feeling.

“Mm.” He murmured back, trailing kisses lower towards your neck. He picked a tender spot on your collarbone and attached his mouth as sucked. His teeth bit down sharply and pulled. This only made you squirm more.

Danny reached the top of your pants and swiftly unbuttoned them to drag both them and your underwear off you. He wasted no time in inserting a finger between your folds and into your depths. You moaned as he picked up a steady pace, finger fucking you into next week.

By this point you were over trying to win in whatever power struggle this was. Danny entered another finger, not slowing down for anything. You gasped at the new fullness as he started to twist and curl them inside you. You began to squirm as you felt the familiar bubble start to form in your lower belly. Danny took this as a sign to keep going, putting his mouth on your clit to hurry you to the end.

You moaned outright and threaded your hand into his long dark locks, pulling him further into you. He let out a groan against you at your pulling, but persisted nonetheless. Danny eating you out was like meeting God himself, always an otherworldly experience that made you feel higher than any drug.

You felt yourself getting close, and you knew Danny could sense it as well. He looked up at you from between your legs with fire in his eyes. That look only aided in your arousal and consequent need to let go. You leaned your head back and arched your back, letting out a pornographic moan.

“You better fucking come.” Danny murmured against you. He was asserting his dominance with those words. You knew that in the end, he would have complete control over you. He had this way about him that made you melt into a little puddle of submissive sludge, despite wanting to be in control and make him bow for you.

You let out a shrill noise as Danny pushed you over the ledge, your release coating his three fingers that were still inside you. He didn’t stop after, merely slowing down to an achingly slow pace and taking his mouth off you. You pulled him by the back of his neck towards your lips again, his fingers now stilled inside you.

You let out a whine as Danny slowly pulled his fingers back out. He lifted his dripping fingers to his mouth and sucked lightly on the tip of his pointer finger. He hummed low from the back of his throat and closed his eyes at the taste of his work.

His finger left his mouth with a ‘pop’ and wasted no time in attaching your lips once more. Your tongues danced together, mixing the taste of you between both your mouths. You could feel him working pants down in legs along with any other clothes he had on. You were still in your bra, and you took this as a cue to relieve yourself of it.

After his clothes were discarded onto the floor, Danny wasted no time in entering you, going to the hilt then forcefully pulling you by your hips to hit the back. The action made you moan. You didn’t have much time to adjust, Danny going at a relentless speed from the start. You closed your eyes and focused on the feeling of him pounding into you vigorously.

“Look at me.” He demanded. You refused, and merely kept your eyes shut. You would not give him the satisfaction of feeling he won. You felt him forcefully grip your face in one of his hands.

“I said look at me.” He growled once more, the force of his fingers digging into your face prompting your eyes to open. He was staring at you intensely, still ruthlessly working himself in and out of you.

“You were being such a brat about me wanting to be with my friends tonight. I’m not a fan of it.” He sounded breathless as he spoke. You said nothing, not feeling sorry and never wanting to give in.

Moments passed with you two just staring into each other’s eyes. Almost as if you were having a staring contest and neither of you were willing to give in and lose. Danny’s eyes suddenly broke away from yours as he found a new angle and his head tilted back in ecstasy. A string of moans escaped your mouth as he hit tantalizing spots inside you over and over.

Once more you felt a bubble growing in your lower stomach, growing and teaming in size the longer Danny persisted in his attack on your insides. You loved the buildup, but you loved the climax even more. You were desperate to let go and feel the euphoric rush spread across your body once more, to give into your lust for the main event.

“Ugh, Danny!” You breathed out, starting to writhe under his touch.

“Come for me.” He changed nothing in his pace as he commanded for your body to give in. He put a finger up to your mouth, silently telling you to open. You sucked on his digits for a moment before he pulled them out and reached down to rub circles on your already swollen clit, prompting you to release for a second time that night.

You came with a moan, shaking and clenching down on Danny’s cock. This made him moan, putting in his last bit of energy to speed up his pace and get himself to the finish line. With one final push into you, Danny released inside of you. The hot silky texture of his seed fills your space, as you both finally relaxed. A shaky breath slipped past your lips as he pulled out and rolled off of you. You both laid upon the bed in a breathless state, just letting the moment sink in.

Sloth

After that night, the depth of the possible deeper meaning of Danny's actions hit you. He didn’t pay any attention to you at the party, which left you feeling empty and unwanted. Your brain instantly went to the extreme: that he didn’t love you anymore. It was easy to do so, since he hadn’t given you much of a reason to think otherwise. The sex had not helped ether, it made you feel like an object to him, a place to get our his sexual energy and nothing more. He could live without you save for that, which he could get elsewhere, and he was subtly showing his independence from you more and more.

You had always been the one to make him his breakfast, kiss him goodbye, cleaned your shared house, and make dinner for him when he got home. You had been the perfect stay at home girlfriend, attentive to his every need, always doing things for him, etc.. But since he didn’t seem to need you for more than sex, you let go of everything else. Further, you were tired. It had been so long since you took a day for yourself, so you tested the waters with his new found independence. And maybe one day would have been good, but as you continued to sleep in every morning, leaving Danny to his own devices, you fell deeper and deeper into a pit of depression and laziness.

The house was in disarray, there hadn’t been a home meal made in over a month, and you could tell Danny was beginning to get fed up. Yet, he said nothing. Much like yourself, he bottled up everything he was feeling, not alluding to any of what he thought about it. He let you sink lower into your dark hole. Very seldom did you leave your bed, only getting up or the necessities. Danny had taken to the couch, since the bed had been entirely taken over by you and your clutter. He had done so willingly, so you let him.

The sex stopped, and it wasn’t an outlandish assumtion that he was going somewhere else for it. He came home late constantly, never saying where he had been. But in his defense, eif he did have one, you never asked. No words were spoken between you two. Even when you wanted to say something, you pushed the urge down. You wallowed in your sloth and unmotivation, silently waiting for the day when you’d magically feel like doing anything again.

Gluttony

With your new found routine of doing nothing, you found very little joy in life. Before, you had almost wholly relied on Danny for happiness and contentment, and now that he was seldom around, you had to seek solace elsewhere. This led to constant over indulgence. Food and alcohol were the only comfort you could find and consume easily.

Before, You had always been one to watch what you eat, and only have sweets on special occasions. It was something you had always done for Danny, knowing he’d want someone who took care of themselves and kept a good image. But now that he didn’t need you, and didn’t take you anywhere with him, you felt no urge to keep it up.

But with every store bought box of cookies, you paid the price. Your complexion was terrible, red and broken out from the constant sugar intake. You hardly cared as you watched yourself start to become unrecognizable. The constant drinking had accumulated and you seemed to have a never ending hangover day after day. Almost all the clothes you owned no longer fit you, an old pair of Danny’s sweatpants being the only thing you could find that would fit.

Once more, Danny pretended like you didn’t exist, acting like he wanted nothing to do with you. He let you do as you pleased, paying no mind to your self destruction. This solidified your theories of his unfaithfulness even more, and subsequently made you sink even deeper into your abyss of self hatred, depression, and drinking.

Wrath

One ordinary day, everything finally snapped. You had been sitting in your bed amongst wrappers and packages of all sorts, evidence of your daily habits, when Danny pushed the door open with a look on his face. Saying nothing, he angrily pulled the blanket off you and grabbed you by the ankles. You shreiked in genuine terror as he forcefully pulled you off the bed, your ass hitting the hard floor with a thud.

“I am sick and tired of you being like this. Get up.” His words were like fire on your skin. At first you were startled, surprised that he was acting like this. This wasn’t the Danny you had known. He was not the man you had fallen in love with. But too soon did your feelings turn. You were angry. He made you act like this. His actions were to blame. You seethed with wrath. Getting up off the floor you rashly pushed him away from you.

“You’re acting like this about me. It’s not! It’s about you!” Making no effort to take into account his shocked expression and body language, you went on. “You don’t care about me anymore!” you breathed heavily as your hands formed fists by your sides. It was going to take some amazing self control to not beat him senseless.

“I do care! Why else would I be doing this?” His defense was weak, you knew if he truly cared, he wouldn’t have avoided you for so long. “You’re eating and drinking yourself to death, you haven’t done anything for weeks- I’m sick of watching it!” No, this wasn’t him finally caring, this was him finally seeing the end. He was finally going to put the lid on your relationship. He was ending things, but not without you putting up a fight. This was his fault, and this gave you the power.

“Oh yeah? If you care then why are you cheating on me?” Danny froze instantly, knowing it was over. He stepped forward slightly, opening his mouth to say some sort of defense, but you beat him to the chase. Taking a longer stride, you got right up in his face. “I know you are! How long, Danny? How long?”

His eyes cast to the floor, only confirming what you had been thinking for a while. It hadn’t been one of two times, it was an all out affair.

It was like something in your brain snapped. The room was filled with screaming and yelling as the verbal altercation escalated. His body language was diffensive, while yours showed anger and wrath. The fight came to a climax as you made no effort to fight the urge to smack him harshly across the face.

He wore a look of shock as you stared into your eyes, looking far more hurt than what had been done by the action. Finally, he too turned to anger. “Out! Get out! I better never see you again!” he pointed dramatically towards the door. And when you didn’t move, he took it upon himself to remove you.

He forcefully pushed you out the bedroom door and into the hallway. You shoved him off you, turning to spit one last jab before you went. “Fine! I didn’t want to stay with a cheater like you anyway.” You had never had any intention of repairing things, since after you had found out about his unfaithfulness, you had wanted to leave. This had been the opportune moment.

Not looking back, you left straight out the front door. Deadly sins had you let get in your way, had you let be your downfall. But you are only human, and humans can only be so good. But truly, had you realized what you had sooner, you would not have let it slip between your fingers. Had you been a more kind person, not let your success get to your head, maybe Danny would have enjoyed you as a person more. Had you let him have his time away from you, maybe he would have appreciated his time with you more. Had you not given into your lust, and instead talked about your grievances, perhaps you would not be where you were now. Had you sought help, instead of giving into destructive coping mechanisms, perhaps you would not be as sad as you are. Had you not given in to anger, perhaps you would not feel so guilty for the outcome.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. But in the end, you are your own downfall.

#addys writing #greta van fleet #addy writes #danny wagner #sam kiszka #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fic #greta van fleet fic #danny wagner fic

33 notes · View notes