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colorseeingchick · 2 years

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Welcome Home (Iwaizumi x Fem!Reader)

Summary: It's Iwa's first birthday away from home, and so his college friends decide to get him the best gift they could think of. But perhaps what they get him was a bit too much of a surprise, because the gift (and everything that followed) were all events that Iwa was far from prepared for.

A/N: Egregiously late. What's new. Hbd birthday boy. If you just want the fluff and borderline spice then jump to "***6."

Rating: Teen (17+). 9/10 on spice.

W/C: 4.5k oh my- I'm sorry y'all lol. Enjoy the college interactions.

Warnings/Tags: Lots of swearing. Very suggestive. Explicit sexual implications. Implications of arousal. Alcohol use mentioned. Drunk behavior mentioned. College fic.

How the fuck did Iwaizumi get here? No, no, he wasn’t drunk (or rather, that drunk) last night, he didn’t black out. And no, he knows the exact sequence of events that lead him here. But how he got into the position where he wakes up to you in his bed- how this is real- is what he doesn’t know.

Opening his eyes and seeing your body overlapping with his, your hands twisting into his shirt, your nose nestling against his collarbone, your legs delicately entangled into the blanket, wrapping around his hips. He’s hyper aware of the warm skin of your thigh resting against the exposed skin of his lower belly, his shirt riding up. But you aren’t the only one in a compromising position. He is the one who woke up to his hands resting on places he’d never expected (only dreamed) of being on. His right arm is snaked around your waist, his fingers grazing the skin above the hem of your shorts. His left hand is gently cupping the base of your neck, hidden only by the length of your hair, which is so soft to the touch.

How the fuck did I get here, Iwaizumi thinks again as he gazes at you.

***1.

“Yo, Iwaizumi!!” A gentle voice calls. Iwaizumi hears it faintly.

“G’mornin’ Iwa,” an aggressive knock raps against his door followed by a deeper voice yells, “getcho ass out here.”

Iwaizumi’s roommates are calling him out to the living room of their apartment early on Thursday morning. He’s still half asleep when he rolls out of bed to find out what the fuck they wanted at this ungodly hour. After coming back from his internship late the day before, he was going to take full advantage of the beginning of his long weekend off. At least, that was the initial plan.

“What do you want, you dumbasses?” He rubs the sleep out of his face as he side eyes the two boys who were grinning goofily at him. The two had honed in on Iwaizumi early during the first year and adopted him as the third member of their squad. They’d honestly made the transition from Japan a lot easier for him, even though they annoyed him every step of the way.

“Sit down, Iwa,” Jonathan pats the beat up la-Z-boy recliner he had turned to face the windowsill.

“You’ll wanna be sitting for this one,” Aryan adds, popping open a Red Bull.

Iwaizumi slowly strolls over to the chair before sinking into it, staring with narrowed eyes at the two boys who are now sitting on said windowsill, heads downturned.

“This shit’s making me nervous, so spit it out,” Iwaizumi slowly says. He’d never been the best with suspense.

“So…your birthday is tomorrow…” Aryan pipes up after a long sip at his Red Bull.

“...but, we got you your gift early,” Jonathan smiles as he tells Iwaizumi the news.

All three sit in silence for a good few seconds.

“...Oh-kay… uh, where…where is it?” Iwaizumi asks.

Jonathan looks to Aryan, Aryan looks to Jonathan, exchanging an empty stare before Jonathan kicks Aryan in the leg.

“OW! Oh- OH.” Aryan pulls out a cup of coffee from behind him on the sill.

“What, you’re giving up your Red Bull addiction as a gift and switching to something more normal?” Iwaizumi snarks instinctually.

“No, what!?” Aryan is intensely offended.

“No, no, Iwa. But I’m asking for that to be my gift when my birthday comes," Jonathan says with disdain as he stares at the drink.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Aryan scoffs as he uses his other hand to pull his Red Bull close to his chest.

“It’s disgusting, is my problem, and that shit takes up an entire two rows in the fridge! Our fridge cannot be only Red Bull dog,” Jonathan bickers back.

Iwaizumi usually finds their antics amusing, but he’s too tired for this right now. “I shoulda figured this was some dumb shit.” He chuckles as he swipes his hand over his face. “I’m out-”

He feels the rocking recliner lean back. “You callin’ me dumb, Hajime?”

He almost didn’t hear it over the ruckus of Jonathan trying to wrestle the Red Bull out of Aryan’s hand while they both tried to keep the mug of coffee from spilling. But he did hear it. Immediately, Iwaizumi whips his head around, jumping out of the chair, and finds you standing on the other side, arms resting on the top of the chair, a small smile and brilliant eyes shining at him.

“Y/N?!”

You giggle at his wide eyes and slack jaw. “Hey. I bet you didn’t expect to see me he-” your words are cut off as Iwaizumi stumbles forward, launching himself forward so he can reach his arms out far enough to nab you and pull you against his chest, hard.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He mumbles in shock, pulling you away after a few seconds and squeezing your shoulders, making sure you’re really here.

You’d been friends with Iwaizumi since you were 6, and you’d been close since then, but hugging and just touching in general weren’t frequent occurrences back at home. But after spending 3 years in school in the States, both of you were now more comfortable with hugging all friends, regardless of gender. But while you were both now used to close contact with others, close contact with each other was still a distant memory.

That’s the realization running through Iwaizumi’s head when he drops his grasp from your shoulders.

“Surprise!” Jonathan and Aryan chant out in sync with those wide grins on their faces again.

“You guys did this?” Iwaizumi’s eyes are still wide as he approaches his boys again.

“We knew this was your first birthday not at home, and we knew Y/N was only in New York, and so we figured we’d bring a piece of home to you,” Jonathan now becomes a bit more nervous as he explains his reasoning.

As he slowly processes everything, Iwaizumi turns back to you. “But tickets to and from Cali and New York are ridiculously expensive right now, how could you even-”

“Your friends helped me out,” you say with a smile.

“Everyone, the entire GH3 gang pitched in, so it didn’t end up being that much. But you better like the gift because there’s no return policy,” Aryan quips as he holds the coffee out for you to grab, which you quickly take before he spills,. Iwaizumi walks in between the both of them and throws his arms around Jonathan's and Aryan's shoulders, pulling them in for a hug.

"What was with the coffee then?" Iwaizumi asks as he pulls away from them.

Aryan and Jonathan exchange a look, leaving you giggling. "A failed attempt at being cutesy. Aryan fucked it up," Jonathan says.

"Nah it's your fault for tryna be CUTESY bro I'm not good with that stuff," Aryan whines.

“You guys are crazy," Iwa says as he sighs.

“We kinda are,” Jonathan responds.

“And you love it,” Aryan adds.

You sip on the coffee and smile. Your smile widens when Iwaizumi looks at you with a happy gaze again, face relaxed. “You have some good friends,” you tell him in Japanese.

“Guess I’m a super lucky guy,” he responds back, his native language rolling off his tongue.

You both miss the glance Aryan and Jonathan share. “You two can do whatever it is… that y’all wanna do,” Jonathan instructs as he walks back to his room.

“Yeah we don’t wanna get in the way of uh, any activities you might wanna do, togeth-” Aryan tries to say until Jonathan elbows him in the gut. Iwaizumi just questioningly raises an eyebrow.

“Just be ready for the party tomorrow, we’re leaving by like, 10,” Jonathan says before aggressively shoving Aryan out of sight in the hallway.

You just laugh, so Iwaizumi lets go of whatever stupid stuff his boys were on about, turning to smile at you instead. “So, how was your flight?”

"I'll tell you all about it."

***2.

“You’re such a bad liar, Iwaizumi,” Jonathan says.

Iwaizumi’s eyes grow wide at his roommates accusation.

“What! What did I say, Jon?”

The girl next to him snorts. “Ugh, Iwa, you’re so stupid.”

“Fuck off, C,” Iwaizumi talks back, taking a sip from his drink to try and ignore his friends’ insults.

The three of them are all on a sofa in the corner of C’s apartment, chilling out as Iwaizumi’s “birthday party” continues on. Iwaizumi does enjoy the occasional party, never minding the fun, but his preference is always a kickback. He loves the upbeat music and the apartment fill with engaged conversations in different corners.

“You’re telling us you guys AREN’T dating? Like, she isn’t your girl?” Jonathan asks.

“Who, Y/N? No, no. We aren’t dating.”

“But you want to.” C quickly follows up, watching Iwaizumi’s reactions closely.

“...You guys are annoying,” he sips his Roman Coke, thinking that the alcohol is finally warming up his face.

“Oh my God, he’s blushing!” C calls out.

“I’m literally drinking alcohol, that’s why-”

“Ohh my- I know you didn’t just try to ‘Asian flush’ your way out of this,” Jonathan says, heated.

“What’s going on?” Aryan walks up to the couch.

“Aryan, Iwaizumi just tried to say he’s not blushing, he’s just got the Asian flush,” Jonathan tattles as Iwaizumi continues to grow more red.

“Oh my- Iwa you’re such a bad liar- you literally barely get red over alc ever,” Aryan snorts out.

“THAT’S WHAT I WAS SAYING- Dap me up dap me up-” Jonathan and Aryan continue to bro out as C laughs. Iwaizumi can’t help but chuckle as well, cheeks still warm.

“That excuse isn’t going to work, not with us,” C tells him lowly, her subtle jealousy of his high alcohol tolerance showing. Most of their friend group is Asian, and so many of them got red especially quickly. But not Iwaizumi.

“Yeah, that wasn’t the best move huh,” Iwaizumi says as he downs the rest of his cup.

“Even if you were just red cuz of the alc, we’d know you’re still lying about Y/N. The way you’ve been staring at her dreamy eyed gives it all away, you know,” C says.

He pauses for a second, seemingly zoned out. But then, he lets his concerns verbalize. “She’s on the other side of the country, C. And who knows where we both will end up after this year. I fucked it up by not making her mine 7 years ago, or any time since then-”

“But she hasn’t dated any one else since then?”

“No.”

“And neither have you, correct?”

“I haven’t dated, yeah.”

“If someone addressed her as your girlfriend, would you be disgusted? Or freak out?”

Iwaizumi shifts in his seat. “No, no, I’d…I’d like that honestly.”

“And she doesn’t mind you being called her boyfriend either.”

“What? How do you know that?”

“I tested it out.”

“What do you mean, you test-”

Iwaizumi is cut off by a tipsy Aryan throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Bro, y’all are meant to be. Y’all wanna cuff each other so bad, bro, it’s obvious to everyone.”

“Cuff?” Iwa asks.

“Date,” Jonathan clarifies.

“So just fucking do it. She’s waited this long for you to make a move, don’t… don’t waste any more…time….” Aryan says as he puts his head on Iwa’s shoulder, eyes closing.

“This dumbass took 2 more shots, so don’t mind him, I guess,” Jonathan adds as Iwa smiles a little, amused at his friend’s drunken act. “But he’s right. We wouldn’t jump through hoops to get her here if we didn’t know how important you both are to each other.”

“Y’all are basically dating anyways, just with no label and a bunch of unnecessary limitations addedd,” C says as she sips her crazy concoction. “If you don’t make a move, I’ll just have to make her my girlfriend,” she jokingly threatens.

Aryan suddenly wakes up from Iwa’s shoulder, eyes still closed but a wide smile on his face. “Yeahhh C, Ms. Steal yo Girl over here!”

“Shut the fuck up, Aryan,” she laughs out. Jonathan rolls his eyes and pulls Aryan back onto him, so Iwaizumi is finally free.

“Go dude, we’ll be here no matter how shit pans out. She’s on the balcony now.”

***3.

“Yo,” Iwaizumi says as he closes the door behind him, stealing a final glance at the aggressive thumbs up from inside the apartment. As he walks up to you leaning against the railing, he’s surprised to see how drunk you look- eyes droopy, face relaxed, a dazed look on your face.

“Hajime.”

“Y/N, are you-?” he’s cut off this time by you throwing your body against his, wrapping your arms around his waist as your face hides against his shirt.

“Tadaimaa~” you say, slipping back into Japanese. (I’m home).

“Oi, Y/N, you’re in California, with me, You’re not home yet,” he says as he lets his hand rub your upper back soothingly.

“No, Hajime,” the way you say his name makes his heart stutter. It only ever came out on accident, but since you first said it in 7th grade, you were the only one (except immediate family) who called him by his first name. . “Any time I’m with you, I feel like I’m home. I miss everyone. But I’ve missed you the most, and now I’m finally with you again. I’m home.”

His heart beats faster at your words, as he understands exactly what you’re saying. Because he feels the same.

He’s shocked when you reach up and grab his face with both hands, pulling him close to you. Half lidded eyes only partially hide the glimmer in your dilated pupils. He doesn’t stop you as you push your forehead and then nose against his own, he just holds his breath in anticipation. As you slip your nose to the right, closing the centimeter-wide gap, Iwaizumi closes his eyes, too, his grip on your back tightening.

“Tadaima, Hajime~” you say, your lips brushing against his as you speak, before you let your head fall to the side, pressing into Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

He finally breathes, taking a moment to recompose himself before standing upright again, letting your head rest against his torso. “Okaeri, Y/N,” he whispers as he sweeps you into his arms, staring admiringly at your sleepy face. (Welcome back).

***4.

“Yo, is she good?” Jonathan asks as Iwaizumi walks back into the house with you in his arms.

“Yeah, she just fell asleep.” he says quietly, nodding appreciatively at C who lowers the music.

“Do you want to keep her in my room? I’d offer her the couch, but it looks like Aryan’s dumbass isn’t gonna be waking up any time soon,” C says, cuing all of them to turn and see Aryan, who looks dead on the couch.

Keeping her in C’s room could work… but… his grip on you tightens.

“It’s okay. I don’t want her to panic if she wakes up confused. She’ll be able to get me if she’s in my apartment, so I’ll just take her back.”

“How’d the convo go?”

“It didn’t. She passed out before we could talk,” he looks down at you again.

“This is the most physical contact you’ve had with a girl ever, bro. And you both look comfortable. I’m sure it’ll go fine when it does happen.” Jonathan says with a smile.

“I think you’re right, Jon. Walk back with me?” Iwaizumi asks, smiling and nodding at all his friends who waved goodbye from throughout the apartment.

“Yeah, I gotchu.”

“Take care of our girlfriend, kay? Goodnight.” C smiles as she closes the door behind Iwaizumi.

***5.

He decides there’s no way he can leave you on the couch. He’d much rather sleep there himself, so he puts you in his room and grabs your night stuff.

You’d taught him about makeup remover and skincare back in the day, and he considers himself lucky for remembering it now. He knows to lightly tug off your falsies and to use the pink capped bottle with a cotton ball to remove your makeup. Surprisingly, you sat up for him. He makes the executive decision to forgo the serums and lotions in your bag, because he couldn’t remember that well.

Getting you changed is also a hassle, but he manages to get you awake enough to change yourself into your shorts and a shirt of his own (you had your own sleep shirt, so don’t ask me what possessed him to pull one out of his drawer). After he quickly changes into a pair of shorts and shirt himself, he guides you to lay back in his bed.

“Mm, Hajime,” you say in sleep, pushing your nose into his pillow.

Hearing you and watching you do that made his stomach flip, but he pushes that to the side for now. With a final push of your hair out of your face, he pulls back to leave.

That is, until you grab his hand, eyes still closed.

“Stay, Hajime. Please.”

He doesn’t have the willpower to say no to you. It’s not possible. So he sighs. 5 minutes next to her couldn’t hurt. I’ll just be next to her. Yeah. 5 minutes will be fine…

He squishes into the bed next to you, keeping his hands rigidly by his side while sleeping on his back. He turns his head to face you, eyes finally shutting, the image of your delicate features at rest being the last thing he sees before falling asleep.

***6.

None of that explains how you got entangled with him like this. He just doesn’t understand.

Iwaizumi realizes he’s wasted so much time trying to figure out how he got here, when he should have been figuring out how to get tf out. You start to take deep breaths, eyebrows furrowing as you readjust, slowly waking up.

In his panic, he closes his eyes and pretends to sleep. He feels like he’s holding his breath when he feels your breath speed up against his neck. Suddenly, he feels you jolt a little, propping yourself up against his chest. “Fuck,” he hears you mutter under your breath. But he’s surprised when you go silent for a minute, unsure of what you are doing and thinking. He’s even more surprised when you lay your head back down against his chest, your hands coming up to caress his chest.

Now his heart is racing. You have to be able to feel it beating out of his chest, too. Why did you pretend to sleep? Curiosity takes over as he peaks open an eye, only to find you peering up at him, too.

You both jump at the eye contact, Iwaizumi pushing himself farther up the bed and you scooching back to the edge of the mattress.

“You scared me!” You scold him.

“You were pretending to go back to sleep! I didn’t know what to do!” He defends with intensity.

“Well you’d only know what I was doing if you were awake the whole time! So you had to be pretending to sleep first!” Your elbows are digging into the bed as you prop yourself up, getting in the final word.

You’ve got him there. And it’s not like he could escape, because his side of the bed is up against the wall. So in panic and desperation, Iwaizumi huffs, turns around, and goes back into a sleeping position facing said wall, pretending like you aren’t behind him.

“Hajime! I know you’re still awake, don’t be stupid.” You tap his shoulder. No response. “Hajimee, please. We have to talk.” You try this 2, 3 more times, but he refuses to turn. He knows your right. But without the liquid courage coursing through his veins anymore, he’s suddenly not as prepared to talk about your 10+ years of romantic tension, all while half asleep.

Nothing would have prepared Iwaizumi for you to tug his shoulder, push him flat against the bed, and then toss your leg over his torso, taking a seat on his lower belly. He is even less prepared for you to grab his wrists and pin his arms to the side of his face, your eyes wide with a determined look.

“Hajime, I think this is a conversation both of us have been putting off for a while, but we really should talk about…us. I feel like we are both on the same page, but I don’t always know. Ever since-”

Iwaizumi listens to you. Well, tries to listen to you. But all the words are in one ear and out the other, because he knows damn well focusing is a lost cause right now.

You look gorgeous, sitting on top of him like that. And he feels like a perv for even thinking about it, but he can’t help but really look at you, your mussed hair, how small you are in his shirt with the way it engulfs you and even a bit of your legs.

But Iwaizumi is also terrified. Terrified because of where you are, and if you were to shift backwards even a bit, he would have a much bigger problem than the whole ordeal from the night before.

He coulda just thrown you off him, if he really wanted to. But the kicker is that he doesn’t want to. He wants you this close, for as long as he can have it be that way. But I can’t stay like this forever. He’s gotta listen because he knows you’re right, the conversation was long overdue.

“Hajime, are you even listening to me-ah!”

Iwaizumi grabs your hips and pulls you a bit higher onto his stomach- not too much higher, but just away from what he would consider the, uh, danger zone. Your whole body jerks, your hands planting by the sides of his head. And now, you’re awfully close to his face… just when one problem is taken care of, another one appears.

You both could drown, the way you stare into each other’s eyes. And he would be fine with that.

“I’m gonna keep this simple,” you start talking after a long pause, not breaking eye contact. Iwaizumi wordlessly acknowledges, squeezing your hips (he hadn’t removed his hands after moving you). “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you. And I want you.” Your hands slide up to the sides of his face, thumbs caressing his cheek bone. “So can I finish what I started yesterday?”

Those words are enough to rip the anxiety straight out of Iwaizumi’s chest and replace it with overwhelming relief and desire. Now that he knows you can be his, that you want him to be yours, he won’t hesitate to make that a reality.

He doesn’t even say yes. He grabs the back of your neck with one hand while the other grabs your face, pulling you in and closing his eyes the moment his lips make contact with yours.

His hands and body radiate warmth. His lips are shockingly soft, gentle but eager in the way they navigate yours.

Kissing you is more satisfying than he could ever dream of. So many nights and days spent yearning for you, for your touch and taste, and somehow getting it is even more euphoric. He’s instantly addicted. He soon lets his hand on your face migrate to your waist, and he wordlessly pulls you against his body before rolling you over, now the one looming over you.

He opts to control himself a bit, taking a minute to breathe when your legs wrap around his waist. Just kissing, for now. Don’t ruin it. He’s always been worried about making a move and ruining one of the most important friendships he’s ever had. But now that he has you, he doesn’t want you to think he’s just coming for your body. He’s willing to work his way up to that (and truth be told, he isn’t sure if he’s fully ready to get into it just yet either).

All that wasn’t gonna stop him from kissing you breathless, though. He presses his torso against yours a bit, just to add a bit of pressure and to feel more of you. While one of his hands stays behind your neck, the other rubbing circles into your hip (he’s never made out with someone before, so he’s going off instincts and what his boys have told him-- Aryan, Jon, Makki, Mattsun, and Oikawa all had lots of advice to give). He takes over the pace of the kisses, leaning in and massaging the back of your neck as he goes. Your hands move back and forth from his face to his shoulders down to his arms, squeezing his biceps intermittently.

Riding the high, he decides to try something both Aryan and Makki are big fans of. He presses his nose into the spot behind your ear while his lips latch onto the spot below your jaw. And gently, he bites.

You giggle in response, your hands wrapping around his neck. “Haji, try and like, suck on that spot a bit more, don’t bite as much, mkay?”

Blushing and slightly embarrassed at his own fumbling, he listens to your instruction. But the noise you let out and the way you pull his hair proves worth the attention he gave your instructions.

After another 10 minutes of you two all up on each other, Iwaizumi finally rolls over to the side and pulls you against his chest, hugging you.

“...So…I feel the same way. If that wasn’t, uh, wasn’t super clear, or anything,” he finally says.

“Feel what way?” You bait, turning your head up from against his chest to look at him.

For someone who had no problem kissing you like crazy, words are suddenly really hard. Not because the words he wanted to say weren’t true, but rather because they were words he’d never imagine coming out of his mouth.

Face blaring red, he tilts his head down to look at you, pulling you closer.

“Suki da yo. Y/N.” He says it quietly, but it hits you when he looks into your eyes earnestly. “I’ve loved you for so long. So please, date me. Be my girlfriend. I’ve thought about it way too much, but I think we will make long distance work. And eventually we can be together again, and you won’t have to worry about anything else, because I’ve only ever wanted to be with you, and I don’t think I could change that if I tried-”

You stop his rambling with a soft kiss. “Yes, Haji. I’ll be your girlfriend. We already talk to each other every day, and I’m sure we will find a way to make it work. I’m gonna miss being with you, but I’d rather know your mine and far away than not have you at all,” you say as you nuzzle his chest.

He glows at you. “Actually, I have something to tell you, too.”

“Yeah?”

“So remember how I was shocked you came here from New York?”

“Mhm.”

“Because of how expensive it is?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know why I knew the price of tickets right now?”

You stop, clearly thinking. “..How?”

“Because I booked a roundtrip flight for next week myself.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, I, I missed you a lot. So I was gonna come visit you on my week off.”

“Hajime! For real!”

“Yeah, for real.”

You prop yourself up just to jump on him, wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “You’re the best.”

He doesn’t even know what to say, so instead, he just wraps his arms around your back as well, keeping you close.

This has to be the best birthday ever.

A/N Notes: I HAVE SO MANY

The coffee mug was a mug of yours that you gave Iwaizumi, and so the boys thought it would be funny for you to reclaim your mug casually and walk in as if nothing was out of place. But then they fucked it up and in hindsight realized how dumb of a plan it would've been.

Aryan is ethnically Indian, Jonathan is ethnically Korean, and C is also an international student from Thailand. Their friend group is based off my own and our interactions <3

C came up to you and said "it's so sweet of you to come visit your boyfriend for his birthday!" she was expecting you to blush and maybe correct her maybe not. She wasn't expecting you to say "Iwaizumi's not my boyfriend. Yet. I'm gonna ask him out soon though." But that's what you did. She immediately liked how straight forward you were. Also she was the first to know you were gonna make a move lol.

You'd called Oiks, Mattsun, and Makki before going to Cali. They had also been very supportive of you making a move.

Iwaizumi pretended to not see your sleep shirt because he really just wanted to see you in his shirt, but he'd never admit that.

Jonathan and Aryan quickly befriended you as well, welcoming you as an honorary roommate.

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bratshaws · 1 year

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goodness gracious 92. brb x oc

a/n: I really love them I DO (feedback is welcome!!)

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: FLUFF, kinda suggestive but nothing bad,

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84

85/86/87/88/89/90/91

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes

“I forgot how big this pool was.” was his comment while looking down at the clear blue chlorine mixed water, watching his reflection ripple as the wind touched its surface. They were both quite sweaty from taking Jolene on a walk, the weather was getting warmer and warmer every day, the huge heat blanket made the need to be almost naked almost insane, “I’m going to grab my swim shorts and I’m jumping in.”

“Okay, I’ll get my swimsuit too.” she was to follow him, but he stopped at the door, “What?”

Bradley’s eyes dropped on the length of her body, the corner of his mouth lifting, “Can I choose? I know you got several, you sent me the pictures.” beautiful pictures he couldn’t forget no matter what.

Beatrice’s cheeks turned a soft red, her lips parting so she could reply, “Well, if you want…”

“Better yet, surprise me.” he says with his lips nearing hers, kissing the soft flesh with a smile, “I loved all of them, so you can choose any that you want.” and after that he leaned back, winking at her and walking inside first. Beatrice took in a shaky inhale, biting her lower lip as she smiled, waiting a few minutes before following his steps, giving Jolene a look once she got in - the pittie was lying on the cool kitchen tiles, completely spent from running around so much.

As Beatrice made her way up the stairs, Rooster was on his way down, wearing peach colored swim shorts, no pattern, she didn’t know why but she thought he’d have a full arsenal of Hawaiian themed things including swim shorts. But he looked really good. His jorts were already very nice, but this showed more of his muscular thighs for her hungry eyes to see, “Hi,” he says, stopping on the step above her to lean his weight on the railing, “Thoughts?”

“I like it.” she replies with a smile, walking around him to change herself, “I’ll be down in a few okay?” Bradley just follows her with his eyes, then nods his head letting her know he’d be in the pool already - after using the outdoor shower - walking down the rest of the steps until she couldn’t hear him anymore inside the house.

But she did hear the sound of the outdoor shower opening and then the splash that followed once he jumped in the pool. Beatrice didn’t want to look outside the window and check him out, she wanted to change as quickly as she could and join him. She rummaged through her drawers until she found the very first bikini she bought - well he did - with the white background and the palm leaves on the top and bottom.

And she did have other options but she honestly really liked this one a lot more. So she hurriedly changed to it, pulling her hair up in a bun before rushing back downstairs - Jolene was still on the kitchen but this time closer to the fridge, still asleep -, smiling as soon as she walked out and saw Rooster floating on his back with his eyes closed, “Do you want one of the floats?”

“Nah,I’m fine.” he replies with his eyes closed, “This is really fucking good, you know?”

It really was because she couldn’t stop looking at him and how his skin glistened with water, making him glow even more, “I can imagine,I’ll just take a quick shower and join you.”

“Please do.” he chuckles, opening one of his eyes and swimming closer to the outdoor shower area so he could peek at her. And the second he noticed the bikini, he immediately turned around to swim over to the edge, folding his arms on it to watch her with his gaze roaming everywhere, “That’s the bikini I gave you.” Beatrice looks at him from the shower,shutting the water off and wiping her face with a smile, “Fuck it looks really good.”

It did and he was a bit glad that the trees they had in their garden were tall enough to hide some of their backyard from their neighbors, because he wasn’t sure if he’d be okay with them watching Beatrice, “Yeah?” she asks sweetly, sitting on the edge of the pool right next to him, giggling when he immediately swam closer, propping his chin on her knee.

“Fuck yeah, are you kidding?” he says as if it was a dumb question, his hands rubbing up her hips until they reached her waist, thumbs brushing her ribcage, “You look beautiful.And the water is great, so why don’t you come in?” He is holding her waist with enough force to lift her up before she could stop him.

Beatrice squeaks out a laugh, holding onto his neck until he drops her on the water. It takes a minute for her to adjust herself, then once she does she sighs in relief, “Oh this is really good.” she whispers, only her head staying out of the water, blinking her eyes open and noticing he was nowhere to be found, “Roos?”

She looks around, furrows her brows, did he get out and she didn’t see? Beatrice swam to the edge to check if the glass doors were open but something tugged her foot under water and pulled her, earning a surprised shriek from the brunette who tried to get free only for the pilot’s head to pop out from under the water laughing at her, “Bradley!” she swats his wet shoulder in retaliation but she’s laughing , laughing even more when he wraps his arms around her waist to bring her closer and kiss her on the lips.

Beatrice is still smiling against his mouth, brushing the dark wet hair off his face,cupping his jaw with her hands, “You are terrible.”

He chuckles in her mouth, “I’m awful.” he says quietly, “Awfully in love with you.” and he was extremely so. He had no qualms in saying it out loud just because it made her blush so much, made her smile turn bashful and made her eyes shine with pure adoration towards him. The fact that she was his fiancé - and vice versa - and if everything goes right they’d get married soon was more than amazing to him.

They still hadn’t talked more about it, he decided to give it a few days before bringing it up with her, “You know before I got in,” she whispers on his lips, “I took a picture of the ring and posted online, I think I’m honestly a bit nervous about checking the reactions.”

“Why?”

“Because my family is loud, Roos.” she laughs quietly, pulling her head back to have a better look at him, “And that means my whole family will know and they’ll probably want to ask me things and I really don’t want to deal with that now. I just want to enjoy it, you know?”

She knew that her mother surely told pretty much all her maternal aunts and uncles, that her family in Italy was already aware that she was engaged and that, of course, her father’s siblings know as well. Including the Bitch Trio’s mother. There was…somewhat of a proud feeling upon thinking that her bitter and annoying cousins would know that she was going to get married and while inviting her aunt was the good thing to do, she didn’t know if she wanted that sort of energy for her wedding.

But then again, considering how she acted with them during their aunt’s wedding she wasn’t even sure if they’d show up fearing another verbal ass whooping. Or if they told their mom, since her aunt and father still spoke regularly. Either way, it was something to think about later.

Especially since Bradley’s lips were on her neck and his hands were on her ass, squeezing each cheek, “You look really good.” was his murmur on her throat, teeth and tongue on her skin, mustache tickling the irritated area but not enough to hurt and make her beg him to stop. Beatrice smiles, putting one of her hands behind his nape to keep him there, giggling like a madwoman when he swims the two forward, pinning her back to the pool’s wall.

But this change in position gave a view of their neighbor’s house, more specifically a window on their second floor that managed to peek through the large trees in their backyard. No one was there, thankfully, but someone could be…of course they were on their side, but it was…weird to imagine someone peeping on them. “Brad,” she tries to say, but he has his teeth on the curve of her jaw, his lips making a trail of wet kisses all the way up her ear, one of his hands trailing up to slide under the bikini top, “B-Brad, we– the neighbors–”

That makes him stop, then turn his head to where he could see the space where the neighbor’s window was visible but no one was there. He huffed in annoyance, looking around for a while until he just swam them to the opposite side where he was sure no one could see them “There,” he says, “Back to business.”

With his mouth once again on her neck, Beatrice giggled, “What are you planning, Brad?”

“That we enjoy this pool to the best of our abilities, gorgeous.”

Beatrice smiles more,trying to keep her moaning and sighing to a minimum, until of course something else happened. From inside she could hear her phone ringing, she changed the settings during the weekend before Rooster came home so she could always check the camera app on the door. She frowns a bit, keeping his head on her neck but tilting her head to the door to check if she wasn’t imagining things.

The repetitive ringing proved that in fact it was real.

“Ah, damn it, Brad.” her fiancé peeked one eye open to look at her, mouth latched on her throat, “My phone is ringing, I have to check.”

“Now??” he sounded so upset, pulling back from her neck with a frown similar to hers. Beatrice shrugged, smiling apologetically and assuring him she’d be back soon, “You better.” he coos, kissing her lips twice before she got out of the pool. At least he had a great view of her body before she covered it up with a pool to dry off, wrapping it around herself as she made her way inside.

Jolene’s head snapped up when she heard Beatrice walking in, somehow the pittie was completely oblivious to the loud ringing coming from the living room, only waking up when her owner’s rapid footsteps could be heard on the floorboards.

“Oh gosh,I’m coming!” She warns the phone - that completely has no other response but to keep ringing - after all it is a phone - until she picks it up. Beatrice furrows her brows “Video call from Marina– what–?” she swipes to answer the call, her sister’s face appearing zoomed in “Mar-”

“YOU ARE ENGAGED??”

Ah.

Beatrice sighed in relief, tucking some hair that slid out of her bun behind her ear - coincidentally it was with the very hand that had the engagement ring on - making her sister gasp, point her index finger accusingly to her and then repeat that yes, she was indeed engaged, “I’m going to make this a group call, hold on.”

“Group call- Mari, no!”

But it was too late, because suddenly five more icons popped up and she could feel her poor phone overheating. It was surprising to see Guillermo there, considering he rarely used to have video calls, “Show us!” Sabrina’s voice said, her sister’s spectacled face appearing on the corner with Aaron behind her, chewing what appeared to be eating a slice of watermelon. Beatrice’s green eyes moved to each little square with their faces, licked her lips then held up her hand.

Sabrina,Marina, Michael and Leo vibrated, but Guillermo was silent. In fact her oldest brother was way too quiet, disappearing from the screen only to return with his glasses, his eyebrows furrowing then relaxing, “...you are…engaged.”

“Yeah, duh,” Michael comments, “I’ll be an uncle again! Hell yeah!”

“Jesus, my baby isn’t even born yet and you want to be an uncle again, Mike?”

“Shut up Leo.”

“Gui you look very pale.” Her brother said nothing, but she could hear his wife’s voice in the background before the phone was handed to her - Deborah’s confused face appeared, until she found out who was on the other end.

“Bea!Hi, oh my God I saw your Instagram post!Congratulations on the engagement!”

“T-Thank is um, is Gui okay?”

Her sister in law looked to the side, then back at her “Oh,he’s fine, he is drinking some water I think he’s still taking it in.”

“He’s going to survive.” Michael adds, his own smile widening “Ooohh, when’s the wedding sis? We gotta prepare!”

“Yeah, remember me and Gui live far away from you.” Sabrina adds, “Hold on let me call the boys-”

‘There’s no need to–” but her sister was already calling the three boys down, with Marina doing the same with Gabriel. The only reason Leo couldn’t was because Bianca was at school and Cyn was still working - she wasn’t on maternity leave yet after all - and Guillermo was probably too stunned to speak.

Now Beatrice stood awkwardly, with a large fluffy towel around her shoulders and her bikini cold on her skin, watching her siblings and their children compliment her. It was fine, she could understand why they were doing it…but, Rooster was outside, waiting for her and all she wanted was to go back and enjoy time with him.

Not to mention she had to think about the wedding date and the venue and all that and she didn’t want to get stressed or anxious about this right now. But hearing all her family members talking about it wasn’t helping, yet again she was asked about when the wedding would happen and she had no idea who suggested she had to act on it soon. “I think I can think of a good time on my own, guys. We are the ones getting married.”

That shut them all up, Leonardo however was biting his lip trying to hold a laugh - which was how she knew it wasn’t him who said anything about it. Beatrice sighed, “I’m going to talk to you guys later, I need to…work on some other stuff so, bye, I love you all.” she finished the call after all said goodbye - and apologized - tossing the phone down on the coffee table and then rubbing her hands over her face.

It takes a few minutes for her to come back, Rooster was sitting on the edge of the pool this time, instead of inside, with his sunglasses on and turning his head to look at her, “Hey, pretty girl.” he smiles, holding out his hand for her to take so she could sit down next to him, “Who was it?”

“The Loud Crowd.” she muttered, “They started a group call and God it was…something. They congratulated me for the engagement though and I think Guillermo is probably going to need a few more days to process that.” she explained “Then they started asking about the date and I just couldn’t really deal with that right now and…yeah…”

Bradley hums, hugging her to his side and kissing the top of her head, “Is that all that’s bothering you?”

“...I don’t know, I mean, partially yeah.” Beatrice bites her lower lip, “It’s like…yeah, they see me as an adult now but they still want to control some stuff? We are the one deciding everything, time,place, everything. I just…ugh…” she drops her face to his neck, hiding her expression from him and enjoying the warmth she found there, “I love them,Roos. But they can be exhausting.”

Bradley chuckles, “I know, pretty girl.I know. They can be a bit over the place.”

“That’s an understatement.”

He then sighs, letting the soft breeze touch both of their bodies before speaking again, “I know how to distract you.” he says, tilting his head in her direction with a smirk, “But it’d be weird doing it in our pool, especially so early in the morning.” he pushes himself off the edge,getting back into the water and swimming up to her legs, repeating the pose from before with his chin on her knees, “I promise I’ll be nice.”

Beatrice’s worried façade melted into a smile, a soft giggle breaking from her throat as she removed the towel and followed the same movement he did to get inside. Once she’s in front of him and his arms are back around her waist, he pressed their foreheads together while lowering his sunglasses to be bridge of his nose to meet her eyes, “While you were gone,I was thinking,” she hums in question, “That we should take this week off to calm down, relax, and not worry about it…then next week we can worry about the wedding itself, especially what we want to do and such.”

Beatrice blinked up at him, then looked to the side in thought, only returning when she had an answer, “I’m okay with that.” she smiles, “I am excited, I really am but I think I might just…not think about it for a while?”

“Yeah, me too.” he makes a face,”I just want us to have a clear head before coming up with a decision. And, amazingly,” he drops his lips to her ear, “I hear pool sex is really good–”

“Bradley!” she swats his shoulder, “We can’t do this in the pool!”

“Are you sure? I think it’d be fun,” Beatrice just purses her lips and narrows her eyes, “Oh, fine, swimming only then. We can do the other part, much, much later.”

Indeed swimming was all they did, which was really fun but now both of them were too tired to do anything else, with Bradley sprawled on the couch and using Beatrice’s thighs as his pillow as her hand brushed through his sandy brown hair. Jolene joined them in the living room, Drag Race UK playing in the background with Bradley’s eyes never leaving the tv.

Beatrice’s phone was by her side, but she changed the settings to vibrate instead of ring this time, knowing that sooner or later she’d be bombarded by her relatives and she didn’t want to deal with that.

He was right saying they should wait a bit, at least one week before dealing with everything wedding related. It’d be a lot of work and they needed to have a perfect mindset for it.

Hence why they were both watching Drag Race after having lunch, “I like Tia Kofi, she seems fun.” Bradley commented,crossing his arms over his chest “I can do a horrible British accent,” he turned his head up at her, smiling, “Wanna hear it?”

She just laughs, “Do it.”

“Oi mate, this water right, bit stupid innit?”

He was right, it was horrible. Because his own accent mixed in with the other and it made the words sound so much heavier than normal. Beatrice had to cover her mouth to control her laughter, but she couldn’t stop herself, throwing her head back, “It’s awful.” she says between laughs. “It’s really bad.”

“Can you believe my ancestors were British? And Irish? Crazy shit.” he comments. Beatrice never questioned much about his family, especially since, well, he shared what he wanted to. But this was news to her and once she questioned him about it he just shrugged, “I mean, my mom’s side is British and my dad’s Irish, but that’s all I know.”

“My maternal great-great grandfather was Spanish.” she says, earning a confused look from him, “He moved to Italy because he fell in love with my great-great grandma. Guillermo’s name comes from him…I think I also have Greek in my family tree too,I am not sure. My dad said we do.” she turned her eyes down at him, smiling at his stare, “I am still mainly Italian, Brad, but having Spanish and Greek in my blood also explains the loudness..”

Rooster huffs out a laugh, still looking at her, “Can I ask you something?”

‘Sure!”

“What are Italian weddings like?”

“Well,I can’t say all weddings but I can say some Sicilian wedding traditions if that helps,” he nods, his attention on her now, “Well, let’s see uhh…the wedding dress can’t be in the same house as the bride, I know that because when both Bri and Mari got married my mom kept the dress at the house while my sisters stayed at a hotel. There’s also the throwing of wheat along with rice…and I think this one is more of my family tradition but there’s always a shot of grappa given to the bride and groom before the first dance.”

Bradley takes that information in, then tilts his head in understanding, “Your aunt didn’t drink when she got married, did she?”

“My aunt owns a winery, Brad. She let that pass.”

Rooster waited for a bit, turning his body around to face her fully, “Do you want to do any of that? I know we didn’t want to talk about it yet, but I’m curious.”

“We don’t need to do all of it,” she shrugs, “I mean the grappa thing,that might be something we can’t let pass but everything else isn’t a ‘rule’, you know?” she smiles sweetly, kissing his forehead, “As long I have you I don’t really care about anything else.”

And she could die, because Bradley Nicholas Bradshaw, the man she loved, her future husband who always made her blush…blushed himself. Her eyes widened, “Wait!” the sound of her voice woke Jolene up, the pittie looking around confusedly, “You are blushing!”

“What?”

“Your cheeks are darker than normal!I made you blush!!” she sounded like she just won the derby, clapping her hands together, “Yes!It happened! I’ve been wanting to do that for so long, you have no idea.”

“Making…me blush?”

“Yes!”

He stares at her, indeed his cheeks feel warm, and laughs. “Fuck, I love you.” he murmurs, kissing her lips, “You are too cute for your own good.” he leans over her, eventually making her fall on the couch with a laugh breaking from her lips, “I think I’m going to marry you–” her phone starts buzzing and he sighs heavily on her mouth, “Can you ignore it?”

“If It's someone I hate, yes.” she chuckles, leaning to grab the phone and check what it was, furrowing her eyebrows, going back to her sitting position, “...it’s a message.” she murmured, “From…my aunt.”

“Your aunt? Your aunt Martha?” she nods “What does she want?”

“...to meet with us.”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

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persephones-journey · 6 months

Text

Thanks to @emilyhufflepufftlk for the tag.

How many works do you have on AO3?

77.... So.... yeah....

2. What's your total AO3 wordcount?

Oh man... you are going to make me look at this.... okay...

1,674,575

Excluding the odd one shot I have posted here on tumblr but not on Ao3

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Last Kingdom, House of the Dragon, Bridgerton, anything Ryan Corr has been in lol, ah, Supernatural, True Blood .... bascially most of my fave fandoms lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Targaryen Heart Set A Blaze

The Tales of the Complete Non-Legend of Yesterday

I Wanna Swim in You

Yes, Sex is Always the Answer

Fire, Blood, and A Strong Seed

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I love reading the comments and responding. It's how I have met some of my closest friends.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, the people who read them would say.... ALL OF THEM... but... probably for one shots You were All I Wanted, But Not Like This and for full length fics Nothing Lasts Forever

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happy endings?.... what is this? LOL.... Kidding.... Ahh... Okay both are Aisling/Finan AU fics but... This Love Left A Permanent Mark and This Hope is Treacherous A couple other fics have good endings but these are probably what I think are the happy ending ones.... for now...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yes, I have.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. Sometimes it feels like all I write is smut LOL. And I have totally stopped blushing when I write it.... Okay, most of the time lol

As to what kind... ahh, I think I've written almost everything once.... maybe...

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes. I do. Craziest one.... The Last Kingdom and House of the Dragon, titled What Could've Been, Would've Been, Should've Been You

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yeah, back in the day... It was a Supernatural fic. I don't talk to the person anymore so....

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Me/fave fictional character....

Also Finan/Ingrith is good too lol

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Four Warriors and the Bastard I've gotten distracted by everything else lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. My friend once told me I nail dialogue. Also creating OCs and making them feel real... I've been told...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ah, everything not listed in strengths lol

Seriously though, probably emotion. Sometimes I find it so hard to put into words what my characters are feeling.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Finan's Irish is probably all wrong because I use Google Translate for it so.... that's my only thought lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

That's like choosing who my favourite child is!.....

.....

Through the Dark

As much as Aisling and I could not agree on some plot points, that story felt so easy because... Aisling and Finan were themselves in it, you know. They had been married for a few years but they were still finding their way as a couple and of course, learning to trust their love for each other.

It's honestly the one I reread the most too lol

I tag: @bhxrdy @gemini-mama @butternutbran and anyone else who wants to do this...

#about me #my writing #oh god #the word count is killing me

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educatedinyellow · 1 year

Text

My 2022 Fanworks Round-Up

Hello! I’m rachelindeed on AO3 and educatedinyellow on YouTube and here on tumblr. I’m happy to say I created a handful of eclectic stuff this year, as usual :)

1. [vid] from eden (Duncan/Methos, Highlander: The Series) ‘Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword.’

2. [vid] One More Time With Feeling (Queen of Mystery) ‘Say it in your mind until you know that the words are right. This is why we fight.’

3. [fic] moderate raptures (Discworld, Vimes/Vetinari, WIP) In some timelines, Vimes and Vetinari find their way to each other. This is one of them.

4. [fic] Spider stories (221B Baker Towers, Sherlock/John) The spider at the centre of this web is not the one you’re expecting.

5. [vid] Spider stories (221B Baker Towers, Sherlock/John) I made a vid to match my fic that tells the same story in its own way. It’s included with the fic in the same AO3 post, or you can watch it separately on YouTube.

6. [vid] in case you don’t live forever [Supernatural, Dean/Cas] ‘I’m a man ’cause you taught me to be one.’

7. [vid] Crayola Doesn’t Make a Color [multiverse, Holmes/Watson] Sherlock Holmes, there is no way that we could possibly describe you!

Total number of completed works: Seven! Five vids, one completed fic, and one chapter of a WIP. *does the dance of joy*

Total word count: Approximately 14.5K words. That’s quite good for me!

Fandoms created for: Highlander, Queen of Mystery, Discworld, 221B Baker Towers, Supernatural, and the Holmesian multiverse.

Looking back, did you create more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Maybe a few more words than I expected, maybe slightly fewer vids than I expected. But no big surprises.

What’s your own favorite creation of the year? Spider stories. It’s the one I worked hardest on, and I’m glad it turned out all right!

Did you take any creative risks this year? Yes, I made a full-length vid out of stock footage for a fandom that has no canon source material, and I learned a lot of vidding tricks along the way, from how to use proxies to how to film my own desktop and incorporate it into the vid. I had a lovely time working on it. Honestly, I was more intimidated to write for the Baker Towers universe than I was to vid for it, but I did my best to research and write with respect. <3

Do you have any goals for the new year? None! I am a blank slate, LOL! Well, I suppose I should revise that to say: having started to post my Discworld WIP, I would like to carry on and get new chapters added in the New Year.

Most popular creation of the year? It was the Highlander vid by a wide margin. So many Methos lovers still out there, rock on!! I love you!!!

Creation of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: They’ve all been very kindly received. But I will take this opportunity to plug the Queen of Mystery TV series, it’s a South Korean genderswapped Sherlock Holmes adaptation that won my heart and that I wish more Holmes fans would discover! Unfortunately they’ve taken it off of Rakuten Viki (the streaming platform where I watched it), but if you have a Roku Channel subscription it’s apparently available over there. Or, you know, there are bootleg DVDs on eBay, not that I would know anything about that ...

Most fun thing to make: The Highlander vid. It was super fun to revisit those episodes and discover how much of the snarky banter I actually remembered word for word despite not having rewatched a lot of those episodes since, like, 1996. I loved that ridiculous show. My best friend and I had SUPER ELABORATE headcanons for Methos, too, and it turns out we still do :)

Most unintentionally telling thing: Can’t think of anything? Except maybe the aforementioned Highlander vid tells you I was a teenager in the ’90s?

Biggest disappointment: Just what so many of us have been feeling, I suppose -- it hasn’t been an easy year, and I haven’t had as much time or energy for creativity.

Biggest surprise: So many kind, encouraging comments on my little Vimes/Vetinari chapter from total strangers! Discworld is a generous fandom, and I hope I can write more soon for them :)

That’s it for me! I’d love to hear about your creative works this year, if you’d like to share!

#year-end meme #masterlist #my fic #my vids #thanks 2022 it's been ... tiring #best wishes to you all and happy new year!

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ramu-ego · 1 year

Note

mind sharing your other fandom favs then? you have me sort of curious if ego is tots ur type LMFAOA .. omg aftwr u-20 win ego was such a proud dad the face he made was honestly sort of emotional ..!!

NEVVER APOLOGIZE 4 WRITING ANOTHER FIC IDEA HEL i think with my pussy half the time and i read ANYTHINGGG as long as it’s dom!reader (can you tell i’m desperate ORR WHATT?) ngl your “pussy dragging on the keyboard” comment made my ass giggle for a full minute LMFOAO i’ll be using that as well thanks!

personally 4 me i never was really into nikko ASSS MUCHH.. but i can see the hype .. cant stop thinking how sweaty and greasy his forehead must be after those thick ass bangs though.!.!?!

WOAH our timezones r so different HELLPP.. by the time you said it was 6:40 am, it was at least night for me, polar opposites in a way sorta! godd you’re a chronic coffee drinker?? i’m more of a tea person myself but coffee does power through most things with ur day anyways, don’t overdose on it or something!! (unless u alrdy do LOL)

i’ve been doing great as ever, taking my time to relax before i’ve got to get back to that tiring education life again.. 🥲 your blogs has been a good way to pass the time though so a win win for me!! for the blue lock anime last week, episode 10 was surprisingly good considering i was scared shitless of animation budgeting and if they would butcher it, sometimes the cgi makes me giggle but hell i’m such a blue lock supporter that i just move on from all of the questionable moments with the animation!

i’m a sub watcher for all animes (which, i haven’t touched a lot of animes .. if you’re an avid anime watcher, any recs?)

for me, u-20 match was an INSANE ride for me, def my fav and i always reread it in a way, i think everything leading up to it like the 3v3 or 4v4 matches were great too, but u-20 match was hype like no other !! whiichhh brings me to my next point, i need to see more of hiori as his design was just too cute for me to pass up, just the hair and the eyes were so ?!? eye catching imo..

oh jeez and there was this one panel with this blue lock player with the most nicest hair but he just. NEVER APPEARED LMFAOO? i haven’t seen him ever since — don’t even think we got a name

ah jeez i’m SOOOO SORRY if my messages get a bit too long, I HATE JUST RESPONDING INSTEAD OF. CONTINUING A CONVERSATION (if this makes sense?) .. so i tend to ramble ^^’ don’t feel pressured to mirror the length though!! i’d be heading off to bed as i send this message in, so this is sort of my goodnight :P - 💌

OH GOD THE OTHERS-

-this will be a dead give a way to some of my very very old followers who've accidentally re found me after I achieved my last blog and took a long hiatus. I have very specific...qualities...to a lot of them that overlap...

in order from top left to right; Kurono Yuichiro (Fire Force absolute love of my life and a near 1:1 character match to Ego honestly), Hanma Shuji (TokyoRev), Sir Nighteye (MHA), Asagiri Gen (Dr Stone), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ginoza Nobuchika (Psycho Pass) ...three out of the six are played by the same English VA so you could say I have a type 😂

To be fair my other categories for favs are literally all copy and print similar too. My "These are my babies I'm breastfeeding them and enabling them" favs are near identical copies in every anime I watch 😂 then the third less talked about group...the dreaded libra group 😒

SOMETIMES YOU JUST WRITE WITH YOUR PUSSY AND NOT YOUR BRAIN AND THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THIS STUPID NIKO FIC THAT'S GOING WELL OVER SIX PAGES FOR NO STUPID REASON BESIDES THE PUSSY DESERVES IT UGH

ok but to gush a moment before forgetting the Ego during the U-20 match...that panel!!! Oh god that panel!!! Of him telling Isagi that what happened to him and his career didn't matter, that he was fine to be blacklisted from the sport he loved bc he assured all 22 of them had a career in soccer after this game, win or loose, OH GOD THAT PART. I will literally fist fight anyone at this point who wants to shit talk Ego and say he "doesn't care" bc that man was ready to throw away his livelihood for them to succeed on a world stage in the sport they love. Man's got protective dilf energy and I'm giving him a child this uterus is open for business rn

Niko is....Ok I'm blaming it on his VA actually (sorry I watch dubbed I just literally can't focus on subbed) and his English VA is a well known one but did a creepy high pitched voice with it and I mean I'm willingly fucking Ego like I'm advertising I'll kiss that weird man's ankles but Niko- Niko is just too fucking weird for me. But apparently the pussy wants to challenge that bc fuck me with a six plus page story over god damn nipples! Niko is still....too ugly for me RIP

My time zone is fucked at the butt end of everything so I am WAY use to being the last one up and last one to go to bed in every fandom I've ever been in 🤣 Learned that as a teen when literally no one was ever awake when I was RIP. But yes I'm a chronic coffee drinker I've always have been the bean it calls to me I must have it (given I don't drink enough to like NEED it or get a headache I just enjoy the taste but love tea too) Drank it thru my pregnancy and drank it breastfeeding no one's pulling the beautiful bean from my mouth. Love me a good tea though I won't deny good green, black and other teas hit different. Just no herbal shit stuff makes me wretch istg

Glad to hear I started this blog in good timing then! Ain't nothing like relaxing with some good pegging when you're trying to forget that book bullshit 💅 And honestly even though I picked up the manga right after like episode two (needed Ego I wasn't waiting lololol) I've been very happy with the animation cuz like the manga is illegally beautiful. Holy shit is the manga just so well done and the drawings are top tier throughout the entire thing (coming from tokyorev and jujutsu god I miss manga artists that don't just scribble on things like a coke addict) Questionable animation or not they keep slut drawing Ego's hands so damn fine and that man's watch I'll forgive any animation doozie long as my weird looking stick man looks fine as hell

I don't watch sub (I just can't take in the actual show and read plus I got a mad voice kink so....dubbed it is for me) But I've watch a fair share of anime. Don't really watch it for like...the sake of just watching anime (prefer western cartoons a little more) but I've watched some really good ones though. First on the list, Fire Force. I've single handedly convinced like two dozen people to watch this. It's my favorite of all time and will be tattooing the weird looking man in the collage on my body at some point bc of how much I love that series. Mob Psycho 100 is amazing as always for so many reasons and it has a bit of everything for everyone. The Case Study of Vanitas was better than it was aloud to be and I hate vampires. Dr. Stone fucking nerdy funny and entertaining. Psycho Pass is a good like murder mystery book. Sonny Boy and Space Dandy done by the same studio and will make you question your existence. Kekkaishi is old but still one of my favorites ever. And Blue Exoricst I wrote a 60+ chapter fan fic on it for a reason and its still going strong and written by a woman! Don't know about any of their sub versions but their stories and characters are so good they're worth it.

That entire block from the five round selection to the U-20 game was just- Fucking illegally good for a sports anime?? A sports anime for crying out loud?? Even the way they introduce so many new characters is so smooth and not even clunky and you genuinely take an interest in everyone even if you only see them for one game?? Hiori is cute...a little more feral than I expected when we first saw him being cute with Isagi and Nanase. But Hiori, Otoya, Karasu and Kurona haven't like wowed me yet. I'm invested but I'm still going real fucking soft on Yukimiya right now like. God. The eye thing. LET ME BABY YOU AND HAVE THAT SAD MAN. God he's gonna be so fucking pretty when he's animated I'm screaming already

Was that the panel of the dude with Gagamaru and Raichi? The one that's shown on the blue lock screen but we never have an actual manga cap of him?

PLS DON'T APOLOGIZE I TALK TOO MUCH I WAS A HAIRDRESSER FOR FIVE YEARS I TALK WAY TOO MUCH PLS NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR TALKING TO MUCH AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL I'M SORRY I'M THE ONE RAMBLE. PLS HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY SINCE WE'RE OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE SUNNY TIME. RAMBLE ALL YOU WANT I ADORE IT <3

#pls im sorry i talk so much #and i have so many feelings about blue lock holy shit #didnt feel this way about haikyuu like it was ok but blue lock hits different #helps i played soccer a lot as a kid so it hits home #but also it has ego #so bonus #anyways my types are all pretty strong....all my husbands are simliar for the most part #all my babies i wanna smoother are VERY similar #and then a god awful third thing...libras #im a predictable idiot and assume if i call someone ugly...i'll eventually end up liking them #:: thanks for the ask~! ✩#:: 💌.anon~! ☆

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zepysgirl · 6 years

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Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic) Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann Characters: Eric Bittle, Jack Zimmermann, Bob Zimmermann, Alicia Zimmermann Additional Tags: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, otp prompts, meet cute, bed sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Relationship, Cuddling, Fluff, parent Zimbits, Arranged Marriage, Secret Relationship, Enemies to Lovers Summary: Winter themed Zimbits One-shots of how these two fall in love again, and again, and again.

After a long pause, Eric slowly let his hand fall onto Jack’s and their fingers tangled together. Jack felt the warmth shooting from the tips of his fingers, straight into his thumping heart, and they both grinned. They didn’t know each other yet…but there was time.

There was plenty of time.

#fic rec #these are good #my favorite is 4 #and honestly i could use a full-length fic of 6 #lots of nice cold-weather cuddles #check please #angryspaceravenclaw

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demonslayedher · 3 years

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Buri-senpai~ it’s me again! It seems like the Kamado family was respected in town. How do you think the townsfolk would’ve reacted once they realized that Tanjirou hadn’t been visiting with charcoal, only to check up on the family where they see the wreckage. Perhaps Tanjirou had left a rushed note, noting how his family was attacked, how only he and Nezuko were alive, and how they won’t be able to visit for a very long time. If that’s the case, I don’t think Tanjirou will explain the cause 1/3

2/3 of the attack, but there’s a chance that Saburo would’ve eventually realized that a demon had attacked them. Also, side notes: if Kaigaku was still a demon slayer during the events of the red light district, do you think he would've heard about Zenitsu's contributions to the defeat of upper 6? I had read your amazing Ukogi fic and enjoyed the characterization of Kaigaku's crow embellishing his achievements as a slayer. I also enjoyed Matsuemon's fondness of Nezuko and it seems like

3/3 he was ‘conspiring’ (for lack of a better word) with Oyakata-sama behind the scenes, with how the events at Asakusa with Tamayo played out. I'm sure Tamayo's existence was pardoned by the Oyakata-sama of Yoriichi's time. Also, sorry for the length! I enjoy your input on everything!

Going to reply to this in a couple parts, but allow me to first borrow one of my LINE stickers to express:

I'll reply to the fic stuff under the cut, but I'm really honored by your close reading and consideration of one of my favorite fics, "The Legend of Ukogi." But first for your question about Tanjiro!

Honestly, I was surprised by the village's upkeep of their home, including nice new tatami and shelves which Nezuko noticed in the extended epilogue included the Volume 23 version of Chapter 204. I would had assumed they'd have a mess of a home to come back to (and wrote my canon diverent/continuation fic that way, for the first draft was written after Chapter 204's magazine publication but before Volume 23's publication). At least nowadays in Japan, uninhabited homes are often left as-is and fall to shambles, even in cities, causing problems for the neighbors as they become home to pests. Upkeep is an issue, and it seems unlikely the townspeople would had gone out of their way to keep the site of a tragedy so nice.

However, Gotouge seems to stress that the Kamado family, simply for being good people, were often humbled by being on the receiving end of such kindnesses. Even Sumiyoshi and Suyako were on the receiving end of this, as mentioned in a Taisho Secret in Volume 22, for having helped a local lord's wife and son while they were in peril without knowing who they were. Even though they tried to refuse reward, they made sure they had a nicely fixed up house anyway (side note, they moved in to Yoriichi's and Uta's abandoned house).

A sturdy house as returns for their kindness seems to be as much of a running theme in Kamado history as is Hinokami Kagura and making charcoal. We do see that Tanjiro is pretty popular among the townspeople and everyone knows they can rely on him, and if Tanjiro's highly biased word is to be trusted, Nezuko had a reputation as a local beauty. In good whether the little kids must had gone into town a bunch, and Tanjiro (and Inosuke's) continued charcoal business (despite the increasing reliance on electricity) in the Fanbook #2 extended epilogue shows that the Kamado family has always had a reputation for high quality charcoal. Certainly, they've been well-loved long enough that their tragedy would not go unnoticed.

As further evidence of this, in the Giyuu Gaiden, a hunter even notices that on a different mountain nearby there was a family of charcoal farmers slaughtered and a suspicious person in a half-and-half haori was seen around there. Clearly, the villagers were quick to notice the incident and start looking around for the man who might had done it!

But we're still left with the question of how quickly they'd have noticed the absence, how word got around, and just how much they knew. My initial thought in response to your Ask was "there's no way Tanjiro had time for that, he had bury his family and get Nezuko dressed and hurry and go!" but then again, this is Tanjiro we're talking about. Tanjiro who faithfully keeps a diary for Nezuko no matter how tired he is, and who faithfully keeps in touch with all his penpals even with all his demon slaying work to keep him busy. If anyone would had written a letter, it would had been him.

It's possible that his reasoning would had been for Nezuko's sake. Should word get around about the incident, and about Nezuko being a demon, people might suspect she was the one who did it. Even Tanjiro had to consider that possibility when he was first shocked by her transformation, though he had the evidence to clearly determine that she was innocent. So maybe if he did leave something, it might simply had been to inform people that Nezuko still needs help, and he's left to take care of her.

To the townspeople, Tanjiro's word is trustworthy. As soon as someone discovered the incident (and perhaps a letter), word would probably get around pretty fast, and if Tanjiro had circumstances that forced him to leave for Nezuko's sake, that implies that they might make a return once she was alright. That might be what inspired the townspeople, who cared for generations about their local charcoal farmers, to have their hearts wrenched with sympathy for the tragedy these two surviving children have been through, and to try to do what they can by taking care of the house while they're gone.

As for knowing if it was demons or not, it's possible only Saburo knew that. There's so much we don't know about Saburo, but my personal headcanon is that he lost his family to demons and was rescued by the Demon Slayers. While others might have been quick to blame the suspicious man in the half-and-half haori, anything said by Saburo, a man perhaps known for keeping to himself with a sullen personality, was dismissed or taken for mere superstition. Saburo, having told Tanjiro to stay with him that night, might had already felt something was off, and when the feeling kept bothering him, he might had gone to check on the Kamado family and been the first one to discover the massacre. Letter or not, he'd have known Tanjiro survived, and might had gotten there soon enough to trace the footprints to deduce to that one of the other older children must had survived too.

Now because of fic spoilers, Bird Fic commentary below!

As I was doing my best to make that fic fit alongside canon, I tried to consider where the birds might and might not been able to influence the events of canon, and that made Denroku (Kaigaku's crow) one of my favorite small bits to work with. Even though he never makes an appearance in the story (only mentioned as a slightly antagonistic bird), he struck me as having the most potential for influencing events.

Since we see a general pattern of the birds being very invested in the Slayer they work with, I imagined that Denroku would pick up on Kaigaku's ambitions. When he got in trouble for embellishing Kaigaku's achievements, that's when he tries the reverse, taking assignments into his own talons and leading to Kaigaku fighting an enemy out of his league. While most of the Kasugai-garasu would had immediately reported Upper Moon 1 so that a Pillar could be summoned, Denroku's underhanded drive to see Kaigaku promoted is what leads to a situation the Corp would had preferred to avoid.

And that brings us back to Matsuemon, who does his best to promote his underlings' achievements to get Tanjiro recognized as a Pillar. He is protective of Nezuko, having picked up on that from Tanjiro, but honestly, I had not considered Matsuemon leading to Tanjiro's encounter with Tamayo. Letting Oyakata-sama know about it, though, that does seem in character for Matsuemon, which we'll get to!

As for why Tanjiro encountered Tamayo so early on, I posited in this Ask that Oyakata-sama probably was hoping Tanjiro would make a connection with her. Gotouge has stated that the demon Tanjiro was sent to investigate in Asakusa was Tamayo. Like you, I assume that Kagaya's forefathers must had chosen to pardon her existence out of Yoriichi's good word for her, and we know from his later mention of her to Tanjiro and efforts to reach out to her later that he's probably always been curious about a way to gain her trust.

What probably gave him the idea to use Tanjiro, a kid with a demon sister, was Urokodaki's letter. We didn't hear the full letter read allowed at the Pillar meeting, but my thought is that Urokodaki wrote highly enough of Tanjiro that Kagaya was like, "aha! This is it! This might be the person who helps me gain Tamayo's trust!" and that was why he sent Tanjiro to Asakusa on his second mission. As for whether Matsuemon knew that or not, I suspect not initially, but he might had gotten aware of it overtime and been in on the loop of birds who know this but help keep it on the downlow, as per Oyakata-sama's request. Matsuemon might had also been given special instructions to report details to the Kasugai-garasu who initiated the personal correspondence between Oyakata-sama and Tamayo. Knowing this egotistical bird he probably would had loved to brag about it, but he's smart enough and respects the Corp mission enough to know when to keep silent about his achievements.

EDIT: Ack! I forgot to respibd to your Kaigaku question. I do assume Kaigaku was still a Corp member at that time and he probably heard and that it ticked him the hell off. Even if he didn't know the details, the fact that Zenitsu would had been credited with fighting an Upper Moon would tick him off with jealousy. Not to worry, Kaigaku, Upper Moon 6 is only the bottom rung of the Upper Moons. ; P

#kny fandom theories and meta #my fics #kamado tanjiro #kamado tanjirou #saburo #ubuyashiki kagaya #kaigaku #tennoji matsuemon #hahaha so many tags I wouldn't had expected to put together #tamayo #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 3 years

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Please Me: Futakuchi's Fun

Kenji Futakuchi x dom fem reader

⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+ MINORS DNI ⚠️

Welcome to week 2 of the Please Me Series! A collaboration with @axoxtxhxh! First up, we have femdom wins featuring Futakuchi and Asahi! Please check out Joey’s fic, Asahi's Awakening! I will link it in the please me master list!

Please Me Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, unwanted touching, dirty talk, public sex, fingering, male and female oral, hand jobs, pet names, switch Kenji, switch leaning dom reader, cum play

Word count: 5,200

"Jas really? Another date?” you sigh as your life long friend tries desperately to convince you this is a good idea.

“Y/N, I promise. This one is right up your-” your loud friend starts to say as you cut her off almost immediately.

“You said that about guys 4 and 5. So what makes you think 6 is going to be so special?” You smirk at her questioningly.

You knew your friend meant well, unfortunately after the 3rd date she had set you up on, you realized her taste in men weren’t anywhere close to yours.

“Y/N I promise, if this one doesn’t work out, I'll stop setting you up on dates. Ok?” Jas speaks as she cautiously awaits your response.

“I remember a similar conversation after the magician, Jas” you say as your eyes narrowed.

“But this one I know personally! My boyfriend works with him and actually went to school with him. He’s been single for a while but I finally convinced him to meet with you!” she said enthusiastically.

“I tried to stop her” Her boyfriend interjected “but you know how she gets about this Y/N.”

“Oh hush now! Kenji is a great guy. A little rough around the edges but super nice” Jas says as she slow turns away from you.

“Oh god” you say as you bury your face in your palms.

“To be fair YN, he has changed since high school. He was captain of the Volleyball team so he kind of transitioned from being the huge dick he use to be” Jas’s boyfriend says as he walks from their apartment kitchen.

“oh nice, a former jock whose still living in high school. Sign me up” you say as you sarcastically throw your hands up in the air.

“YN he still plays volleyball so he’s not a former jock, he still is one. Besides he really doesn’t seem at all like his teammates described him” Jas shurgs “plus I have to you two meeting at a bar and grill so if anything there’s booze.”

“Oh a perk to this date?” you say sarcastically as Jas smacks your arm.

“See? This is exactly why she will get along with Kenji great” Jas yells to her boyfriend who only laughs.

You roll your eyes and think to yourself.

I guess one date wont be so bad.

The night of your date approaches quickly, much to your dismay. You opt to wear a simple, mid thigh length black dress and your black leather jacket. You stare at your heels and opt for flats instead.

“Honestly I don’t know anything about this guy so flats is probably a good option” you say as you slip on your shoes and descend to the street below.

You arrive at the bar/grill and check you’re phone. Jas texted you telling you Kenji was there and waiting for you at the bar. You sighed as you walked in, heading towards the bar.

Suddenly you felt a hand grab up your dress as you turn around to see a man standing uncomfortably close to you.

“excuse me? What do you think your doing?” you shout as the man puts up both hands

A tall figure at the bar witnessed the whole ordeal and begins walking up to you.

Suddenly the tall man stops as he hears a loud SLAP echo through the place.

There you stand toe to toe with the man who groped you as you grab him by the neck, pulling him towards the door.

The tall figure watched in wonder as you disposed of the man outside the restaurant.

“Oh my god ma’am! Are you ok? We saw that man assault you!” the hostess said as she ran up to you concerned.

“Oh gosh I’m fine. Just another low life. But I’m afraid I may have broken the pervs nose when I tossed him out. My apologies” you say as you fix your dress, picking up your bag and proceeding to the bar.

The tall figure followed your form as you sat down, almost forgetting the reason you were there.

“Any beer please” you say as the bartender serves you quickly. While you handled the situation well, your adrenalin was kicking in and you needed to calm down.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Y/N would you?” a tall, good looking man said as he approached you.

“I mean if you are the police, then no” you say as you turn to take another drink

“Do I look like a cop?” He says as he smirks

“Nah you’re too good looking. Yeah I’m Y/N” you say as you smirk

“Kenji, I’d say it’s a pleasure but I’m kind of nervous after what you just did to that guy. You handled yourself well” he said as he sat down next to you.

“Well as long as you don’t grope me, we wont have an issue” you nod sideways to him

“Not unless you want me too” he says cockily

“oh right out the gate. You're a brave one aren’t ya?” you say giggling at his forwardness.

“Well at least I can say I tried” he says “how about we grab a table?”

You get up from you spot on the bar to move to a more intimate table in the back of the restaurant. The night continues and honestly, you are enjoying yourself. Sure Kenji was cocky and full of himself but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle. Plus the man could take a joke which provided you both with good banter all night. You both finish off your final beer as you stand up.

“well shit I knew coming to a bar/grill wouldn’t be the best idea” you giggle as you stumble a bit. Kenji chuckled as he held on to your arm.

“For as hard as you fight, you sure are a lightweight” he laughs as he grabs your waist “lets get you home.”

He walks you to your apartment as you lean on him for support. It's not like you drank a lot but you imagine that the drama from earlier caused you to consume your drinks a little faster than you were use to.

“welcome to my humble abode” you scream as you throw your hands up as Kenji sets you keys on the counter and removes his shoes.

You sit on the couch as you motion for him to join you. He sits besides you.

“20 questions, lightening round and GO!” you screech.

“ok but you start champ” He says.

“Why are you single?” you starting off strong.

“damn right out of the gate. ok well my ex and I had a mutual break up 6 months ago. I don’t see her or speak to her anymore” he says.

“far enough” you say smiling “hit me.”

“why did you agree to let Jas set you up with me?” He says

“oh GOD! she’s been trying to set me up with someone for months now. you are number 6 but I will say you’ve made it further than any other guys” you say

“far enough" he says

“top or bottom?” you say nonchalantly

“Jesus YN!” Kenji laughs as he fakes an offended look

“What? It can tell you a lot about a person” You say

“Fine. I’m actually more of a dom top” he says shrugging

“Well shit” you laugh

“What? Are you a bottom?” he says questioningly

“ah ah you have to ask me a different question” you smirk

“Fine. What’s your favorite postion”

“Easy, cowgirl” you spit “what kind of dom are you?”

“I feel like we are grazing over the ‘cowgirl’ comment Y/N” Kenji laughs as you lay back putting you feet on his lap as if he was an old friend or a lover.

“what I like to top! gives me more control.” you shrug

“Ah so you like control?” he asks

“Yes and you ignored my question” you say

“mostly a service and pleasure dom. But I also like control” he says

“haha most men say that and let me tell you, it’s a major let down” you laugh

“oh really now?” he questions

“I’ve slept with more ‘doms’ than I care of even mention” you say as you quote the air “most men don’t even know how to please a women let alone know to service one.”

“well you sound pretty knowledgeable on that Y/N” Kenji smirks as he leans back softly stroking your legs

“Kenji, I’ve slept with dozens of men and when I say I can rip orgasms from them with ease, I’m not exaggerating” you say smugly

“oh is that so” Kenji says as he leans closer to you “ok then how about a little bet?”

“bet? The fuck for?” you say confusingly

“ok well you are basically saying you can out Dom me correct?” he says smugly

“you got it chief" you smirk, putting up cutesy annoying finger guns. Kenji laughed at your gesture.

“ok then lets do this. We each plan a date and end the night fucking. Whomever gets the highest rating wins” he says as he tilts his head slightly to the side

“interesting” you say as you sit up “ok so lets say I agree. How do we judge? I mean what if you give me a bad rating just to win.”

“Listen Y/N I’m sure you can tell this but I’m a pretty honest person. If I’m not getting pleasure, you’ll know it” he says

“Ok so we just rate each other on what? The date and the sex?” you say.

“well how about the sex is the most points and the date is just extra” he says as he winks “because outside of sex, I’d really like to see you again”

You smile, kneeling on the couch close to him.

“Fine but we are not starting tonight. No sex until our next date” you say as you narrow your eyes.

“You’re drunk Y/N. I would never” he says putting his hands up.

“Well alright then how about next Friday night you start since this was your suggestion” you say extending your hand.

Kenji grabs your hand pulling you towards him as your lip meet his in a sweet, heated but short kiss. You pull away with a smile.

“Its a bet” Kenji says with a smile.

The following week came fast. You and Kenji texted often during the week. It wasn’t like you were nervous for your date or what was to follow. You were confident in yourself and your skills as a more dominant person. However this was something new for you and sometimes new is scary.

“You ready Doll” Kenji says as you greet him at the front entrance of your apartment complex.

“Ready as Ill ever be” You smile softly as he grabs your hand and interlaces your fingers with him.

“Starting off strong I see” you say as you lift your hands to show him what he already knew.

“Nah, it just felt right” He smiled as you blushed lightly

“Alright so where to?” you question

“It’s a surprise doll. Trying to get the extra points where I can” he says as he smirks as you and you blush at the pet name

You walk down the street and arrive at a small pizzeria. It looked very intimate and hidden in plan sight. Honestly you were surprised you had never noticed it before.

“I’ve never seen this place before” you smile as he holds the door for you to enter.

“That’s why I like it. Its small and out of the way” He smiles as he places his hand on your lower back guiding you to a intimate table in the back corner.

Dinner goes as planned as you enjoy some of the best pizza you have ever had in your entire life. You smile as Kenji pays and you head to your next location.

“An arcade?” you laugh as Kenji just shrugs.

“You seems like a competitive person but a fun competitive not a serious one” He smiles as he pulls you into the arcade.

You play games and laugh for what seems like hours before you decide its time to move on to more “serious” matters.

“That was so much fun Kenji” you say as he pulls you down a secluded alley and begins kissing you feverously.

“Is this where you kill me” You giggle when he moves down your neck trying to find your sweet spot.

“Nah doll this is where I fuck you” he says as he discovers you sweet spot pulling a moan from you. He feels incredible pressed up against your heated core. You can feel his cock harden on your thigh.

“Kenji ah” You moan as his hands travel up your dress, groping your ass “here? Wont people see?”

He breaks away from you neck kissing your collarbone “its worth the risk doll. Plus I cant wait any longer to be inside you.” He kisses you grind your core into his thigh.

You moan as he assaults you collarbone, your hands traveling up his shirt as he pushes you against the brick wall, caging you in making you feel oddly secure and comforted.

“Fuck doll- your skin is so soft, I bet your cunt is soft too. Shall we take a look?” He says as he inserts his knee between your thighs opening them up and snaking his hand down your panties. His hands are rough, surely from his job and all those years of Volleyball. You can feel the excitement radiate off of him as he closes in on your core.

You can feel how wet you are as you both groan as he reaches you clit. His rough fingers providing the perfect stimulation for your needy cunt.

“Shit baby, I’d say you are pretty turned on from public sex huh?” he says as he whispers into your neck as he begins to rub circles into your hardened clit.

“Ahh Kenji- please I need you” you moan as he starts to pry to fingers into you sopping wet cunt. His hands feel incredible. Even with your body count as high as it is, you’ve never had anyone make you feel so amazing.

“Oh fuck doll, damn you are tight. We need to lose this pussy up, I don’t want to hurt you” He says as he inserts to of his long fingers into your cunt as you brace yourself on the brick wall. You can feel every inch of his long, sturdy fingers probe your wet insides. The feels is unreal. You can feel the knot in your stomach tightening.

Your head falls back as he reaches your sensitive spot. He pumps his fingers into your cunt as he curls them to reach the spot that made your vision darken. You can’t contain yourself any longer, his fingers feel utterly incredible.

“Come on baby, cum for me please. Then I’ll fuck you good ok” He begs as he kisses your neck. God this man knows just what to say.

“Kenji please I’m so close- ah right there Kenji!” you moan as your head falls back and he pumps his fingers faster. You feel the cord in your stomach soap instantly.. You cum with a gush as Kenji smiles, pulling his fingers you and offering them to you. You accept taking them into your mouth as you suck pulling a deep groan from your partner. You could feel the wetness from your release seeping down your plush thighs as you slowly descended from your high.

“You’re turn” you smile as you reach for his belt. You couldn’t wait to get your hands on Kenji's hardened cock.

He grabs your hands, stopping you as he pins them above your head with one hand and pulls you in by your waist with another. Your eyes widen with lust as he speaks.

“ah ah doll, I believe its my week to pleasure you” He smiles as he kisses you roughly, tasting the your essence on your lips. His lips feel incredible.

“fuck I’m going to have to eat this pussy properly later” he groans as he quickly undoes his belt and pants, moving his boxers down. You knew he was a bit larger than average sized and definitely thicker. The thought of his cock filling you up made you whimper.

“But for right now, I’m going to pump this pussy full of my cum. you want that doll?” he groans into your neck as he pumps his cocks, picks you up and lines you up for him. You felt the pressure of his tip push hardly against your tight opening.

You had already discussed contraceptives prior to your activities. You were on birth control and both of you had been tested. You wanted to keep the play field level so you decided to forgo the condoms.

“holy-” Kenji groans as he pushes into your wet cunt “God baby this is the tightest pussy I’ve ever been in.” You moan as you wince from both pleasure and pain.

You’re jaw slacks you feel him enter you. You have never felt so full. His cock hit every single area of your cunt so perfectly .

“Fuck baby can you relax a little” he says as he tries to adjust you.

God you are tight he thought to himself. If he had any less control he would have busted inside immediately.

You cant relax. He feels so good and the semi public sex is turning you on something fierce. You can fell your cunt spasm around him as he starts to gently push in and out of you. You feel like your already close to your release and you barely started!

He groans as his pace increases and he lifts up your dress further exposing your pussy to him. He growls as he watches his cock plunge in and out of your tight, wet cunt. The feeling is unimaginable.

He leans you further back on the wall so he can snake his hand to your clit. He watches in wonder as he rubs your clit and your mouth slacks open.

You cant even moan. There is no sound coming from your mouth. You are utterly mute. You feel so unbelievably incredible.

“Ken- fuck I’m going to cum please go faster!” you manage to choke out barely. You aren’t sure you can handle faster but you really want this orgasm.

“As you wish baby” He says pulling his hand from you clit and jackhammering into you at an unbelievable speed. His hands on your ass as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“Oh fuck Kenji! I- I" you cant even form words. This angle, this speed is causing your body to act on its own. You feel a weird gush of liquid stem from your core as you try to regain control of your thoughts.

“oh shit baby did you just squirt?” he says as he looks at you and his jaw falls open at the feeling.

He’s never had sex that felt this amazing before. This angle, this view was everything. And by your reaction, you seemed to be enjoying it as well.

“Fuck that the was the hottest thing ever baby! Shit- I’m going to cum” he chokes as you finally manage a soft moan and nod as you feel the pressure from your orgasm still present. God you don’t even want this to end. This feeling was absolute bliss.

“shit shit baby-FUCK" He says as he stalls into your cunt pushing hard into you as your cunt gladly accepts him.

You can feel his cum shoot deep inside as you feel your pussy spasm against his cock.

He lays his head in your neck as he catches his breath and you pet his hair smiling, coming down from both of your highs. It was incredible.

He pulls back gently as he rubs your thighs and hips. He places his forehead against yours as he looks deep into your blown out pupils.

“Ok well that was the best sex I’ve ever had” he smiles as he kisses you deeply

“Best sex... for now” you giggle as he smiles kissing you again.

He takes out a handkerchief, cleaning you up as you fix your dress and he puts himself back in his jeans.

“Oh baby the night isn’t over yet” He smiles as he grabs your hand leading you out of the alley and down the street to his apartment.

A whole week had passed since your last “date” date with Kenji. Honestly it was more of a fuck fest, if you had to label it. You aren’t sure how you even managed to walk up to your apartment without falling. It took you 3 whole days to recover.

The sex had been mind-blowing. Honestly you were scared you wouldn’t be able to top it but you refused to go down without a fight.

This week was your date and you had the perfect plan.

“Alright doll, I’m ready” Kenji says as he leans in to kiss you at your door.

“Ok come in” you say moving to the side allowing him to enter.

“Wait here?” he smiles as he comes in removing his jacket and shoes.

“Yes sir” as you turn around. You opted to wear an oversized shirt and some thigh highs. You had a plan and it involves comfort.

“A little underdressed aren’t you doll” Kenji smiles as he sees your shirt lift up revealing your lush ass below.

Kenji bite his lip as he makes his way closer to you attempting to feel up your shirt as he kisses your neck. You drove him utterly insane wearing that outfit.

“ah ah ah Kenji” you say as you back into the cabinet “I’m in charge tonight sweetheart” you say as you shake your finger in front of his face.

“ok fine” he says throwing his hands up in defeat as he makes his way to the living room. Hoping some distance will cool him off a little.

You had ordered in sushi and had a bottle of wine waiting. You made your way over to the coach, expertly bending over revealing more skin with each reach.

“I’m beginning to think your goal is torture” he says as he watches you bend over. He desires to feel your soft skin so badly.

“me?” you say sarcastically “I wouldn’t dare.”

You eat, talk and drink as you laugh about your week and discuss your impending night. Kenji reaches over testing the waters as he begins laying light kisses on your cheeks, necks and collar bone.

“You know doll, it was torture for me to wait an entire week to fuck you again” he smiles as you kiss him deeply pushing him back on the couch.

“I actually debated just forfeiting” He laughs as you straddle him.

“Awe Kenji hooked on my sweet pussy already?” you say as you start to slowly grind on him. Maybe torture was part of your plan?!

“fuck- yes baby. Shit you feel so good” He groans as you apply more pressure to your grinding

“Well I mean, you wont have to worry about forfeiting after I win” you say as he pulls you harder into to his hardening member as you throw your head back in ecstasy.

It honestly was torture for you to wait as well. You were in agony by Wednesday. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t get yourself off. You had been completely ruined by the mind-numbing sex.

“Fuck baby you going to show me how to Dom or what” he smiles at you as he watches you lift your shirt, seeing the growing wet patch in your panties forming. He groans wanting go feel and taste your wet pussy.

“Patience sweetheart” you say as you grind faster into his cock pulling grunts and groans from him left and right.

“Shit baby you’re going to make me cum if you don’t hurry up and fuck me” he says as he can feel his release building

“Who said anything about you being inside of me Kenji? I’m running this show” you say as you stop grinding and move yourself down between his legs undoing his jeans as he watches you.

The way you shimmy down his legs towards his crotch has him losing his mind. He had felt your mouth the weekend prior and knew just how skilled you were with it. He could barely last the way you had taken his thick cock down your throat.

He watches you place licks on his hardened cock as his mouth falls slack and his eyes rolls back. You adjust your positioning as you continue to suck on his cock, slowly removing your panties and you start to rub your engorged clit.

You were getting so turned on from pulling all the pleasure you could from Kenji. The way his face contorted in pleasure could make you orgasm on the spot.

“sit on my face baby please” Kenji says as you continue to suck and lick on his cock. You stop your motions and look up at him.

Oh shit don’t stop please he thinks to himself.

“Kenji no” you say sternly as you begin to suck harder and move your fingers around your clit faster. Tonight was about Kenji and after last weekend, you had a lot of making up to do.

You feel your approach as you switch to stroking Kenji’s cock as you continue to pleasure yourself.

Watching you masturbate while you stroked his cock was too much. God you looked like an absolute goddess.

“Baby fuck- I’m going to cum. Please cum with me. I- I want to see you cum as you jerk me off” Kenji groans as he starts thrusting up into your hands as your fingers increase in speed. You are so close.

“Oh fuck Kenji, I’m going to cum, cum with me please” You say as your throw your head back in a scream as Kenji releases all over your hand and his stomach and you feel your cunt spasm around nothing.

“fuck baby you are really something else” Kenji says as he pants heavily coming down from his releases.

You really were. Never in his life had he been so turned on by a partner. You made sex fun and interesting and it drove him nuts.

You stick your fingers in his mouth as you slowly lean down to lick up the cum on his stomach and off his member. He groans as he feels your wet tongue hit his hardened abs and sensitive cock.

Locking eyes with him as you clean up his mess, he pulls his lip between his teeth. The feeling is too good.

You stand up as you remove your shirt from your body, revealing you naked form.

“oh fuck angel” Kenji says as he starts to harden immediately at the sight. God your body was perfect. Plush in all the right ways and absolutely stunning.

You remove his pants and boxers as you straddle his waist. He’s built, no doubt from his job and volleyball. He’s so pretty.

You lean down to kiss him deeply, as you force your tongue into his mouth, all while grinding on his hardened cock with your wet pussy. He groans as you move down his jaw as he pulls your hips faster against his cock.

You separate as you look down at him, completely blissed out from you grinding against his member. His length feels so good tickling your clit with pleasure.

You tug as his shirt as you help him pull it over his head, revealing his hardened form.

You move your mouth his chest as you suck on his nipples, licking lightly in between them as you move from one to another.

“Fuck baby are you trying to make me cum again” He grunts as you increase your pace. You want to make him feel as good as he made you feel.

Suddenly, without warning you sink your soaking cunt onto his hardened member pulling a choking grunt from the man below you as his hands dig harshly into your hips.

Fuck your cunt felt fantastic. Kenji would definitely chose to live in it if he could. So soft and warm and oh so tight.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He says as you begin bouncing on him as he tries to control his grunts.

Fuck- this girl really is trying to kill me. I’m not going to last. Focus Kenji he thinks to himself as he tries to regain composure over his body.

“Death by pussy sounds like a nice way to go” You say as your throw your head back in pleasure. Unbeknownst to him, you feel just as incredible as he does. His cock fit your pussy so perfectly.

He groans as you moan from the friction of his hardened cock. You speed up as you approach your high. You can tell Kenji's close because he starts meeting your bouncing with harsh thrust.

Fuck, he’s going to lose it. You feel fucking incredible. The way your pussy sinks down on his cock, taking him in so deeply has him going wild. He wants to, no needs to fuck you!

“Fuck doll- you win, you win please just let me fuck you” he groans as you can sense the pain in his voice. You got what you wanted.

“Fuck me Kenji. Pound into your cunt” you moan as he begins to thrust up into your cunt at an unimaginable pace.

His pace was much faster now than in the alleyway. You were sure your cervix was going to be bruised tomorrow.

“Holy fuck baby! Mine, mine, mine, all mine!” He groans as you scream from the pressure. This was it.

“Kenji fuck” you says as you feel your cunt spasm from you harsh orgasm that slammed straight into you head on.

“FUCK FUCK BABY” he groans as he stalls inside you as his mouth falls open and he presses into your pelvis harder. You grind on him as he pulls you in deeper as his groans slowly start to fade and you both ride out your intense orgasms.

He’s panting as you breath heavily on top of him, stroking his chest and adjusting his hair from his face.

He moves your hair to the side as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“You win doll you win” he pants heavily with a huge smile on his face.

“Good and I want my prize right now” you say as you situated yourself still on his cock.

“Which would be?” he says as he rubs small circles into your thighs. He isn’t sure what you want but after that last fuck session he’s willing to give you anything.

“Can we keep doing this?” you say shyly as a smile grows on his face.

“Well, I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend if I won so I would say fuck yes we can keep doing this” He says as he grabs you, standing up quickly running to your room and throwing you on the bed.

“Next, let’s see how long we can fuck before one of us orgasms?” He smiles as he kisses down your neck.

“It's a bet” you say moaning into a smile.

taglist: @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes @chaotic-nick @serostapesweat

#Futakuchi kenji #futakuchi x you #futakuchi smut #dateko #date tech #kenji #futakuchi x reader #futakuchi kenji #please me #please me series #dom fem wins #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyu!! smut #haikyu!!#dom female #sub character #Futakuchi smut

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whatisgoingonpaul · 3 years

Text

Lost boys backstorys

I made a post while ago on my ideas of the boys past but now I want to update it. I just want you to know I’m still a firm Prequel lover/follower however we don’t get much info on the boys Pre 1906, so that’s what this is for! However personally I would have had more Max so this is going to be both pre 1906 but also include relationship with Max a bit.

I am also including my personal ideas on Last names and age. However I am under the idea that they wouldn’t know/take their last name seriously if the did know it cause- ya know. Orphans. This is going to be lengthy and I’m going to pin it, not just because I want it seen but also to remind myself in fic writing (when I don’t follow these ideas in a fic it’s gonna be Marked as Au- as I’ll probably be messing around with a different past.)

I’ll be doing appearance but only physical as there’s some stylistic changes. For clothing? Honestly so thinking workers clothes/cowboy esc

Also! Their stories are all going to kinda intertwine so I’d there’s not enough info under one theirs a solid chance there’ll be more for them under someone else’s!

David Hardy-

Age(as of 1906): 19

Born: 1887

Appearance: Average height, his hair a dirty blond- near reddish and is around shoulder length. Bearded. (Think doc but with slightly updated clothing)

Backstory:

David Is the only of the boys to grow up with at least one of his parents, living with his mother until her death when he was around 7. They lived in a decent, though cramped little space in San Francisco, by the docks. His father worked on and off- a not so stable style ending in him getting involved in not doing saviory things - getting arrested. His mother worked as a washerwoman. David worked the streets awhile, as a young child now left alone, he learned to pickpocket and live off what he could manage. It was around this time he had found Marko- doing the same thing he was - though arguably less effectively do to his more sporadic nature. At around age 10 the two became extremely close and rather inseparable, Marko even looking up to him despite being the older of the pair. However david wasn’t one to living completely criminal like... he did NOT want to be his father, which lead him to not drinking , EVER. (Even as a vampire he still doesn’t do alcohol.) he poked towards more honest work, also forcing Marko into doing the same , which he wasn’t exactly thrilled about- but did anyway. Tried. David did a lot of work on the docks, odd jobs and stuff like that- but it never paid even half as good as nabbing a wallet or cheating at cards. He wouldn’t be his father- he’d be better- better then all the nobody’s. More level headed then Marko though ambitious, big headed and still wildly child like- eventually Paul , Dwayne and Jasper joining the pair. Well now, David had himself a full on gang. Never robbery, not that far. The group pickpocketed , cheated at any sort of game or match, that sort of thing... they were still young after all. Smart enough not to go wild like some famous bandit (Though David will admit to his slight admiration of Billy the kid.). He’s a quick learner, and when he learns something- he learns it well- becomes a damn near expert. When he is good at something he is good at it. He is the leader out of the groups mutual respect towards him , quick thinker. Notable flaws: Huge ego, hopeless romantic.

Marko Connelly-

Age(as of 1906): 20

Born: 1886

Appearance: on the shorter side, golden - darker brown hair in this fluff of ringlets it’s long about just past his shoulder blades and typically tied back. Usually dirty somehow (Think Poli but with longer hair and updated clothing)

Backstory:

Born to a rich family , one of those who moved from east to west and actually did make it big. He was a pretty little thing, more a doll to his mother then particularly a child- only taken from Nanny to be dotted over or photos taken. However around the age of 3 or 4 things had tipped, scandal! Missing. That is what the newspapers said anyway he was found missing- was it that he was given away? Or stolen? He was never particularly a child to be quite or sit still or anything such as that... so who is to say? Marko doesn’t remember a lick of that either way as he was far far to young for it but he does remember being alone. This is how he had grown his attachment to birds, they always stuck around. He grew comfortable with being alone, having himself to depend on, getting good at grabbing what he needs- A mansion is stark contrast to dirty winding alleyways. He was always cursed with his looks- even filth covered at 6 he could make sad eyes and tend to swindle whatever he wanted... but he wasn’t completely quick. He’d get in trouble, his face memorable he could rarely pass the same trick again. At 11 David came across him, the two started working and living together (that is where they could find a place to sleep.) he sort of gained this complex. He felt he owed David , in some strange sense he became attached at the hip- a helper, a second- almost servant like the guy had saved his life and he is now the others. It didn’t help that at a young age, Marko had developed what was come to be understood as a deep crush- at times as teens this was reciprocated. As loyal and loving as he was to the other male he wasn’t nearly as cautious, as rule following... he had come to despise authority, to despise the fancy, the rich all of the crowd. He was never sure why. Even regular work got on his hate list... but he gave in and would try to do a normal amount pf work.. it never really worked as there was something, how he would sass, how he looked or smelled or spoke (neither him nor David really spoke ‘proper’ English - meaning no slang or accent). Around when Paul came things started to shift in the group, more mouths- more work and more thinking. Oh yea David and his thinking. Marko is a bit hostile right off the bat when it comes to people he doesn’t know, eventually he cracks and will be more loyal to you then to anyone you’d ever know. He opened up to Paul, a lot sooner then he would have thought the guy was funny and sweet - lil stupid too. David had this grand idea of a little gang, naturally Marko was all for it because illegal activity is fun- it was like a game to him. A liked stealing from pockets and playing distraction for David, as time grew he began to hate how young and gentle his face appeared to be. He LOATHED absolutely appalled the pity glances he would get, the hand outs the whole “oh you poor fragile little dear 🥺” he hated being babied and still does. He hated the stares he got on the opposite direction ... at first, it was funny, it was nice to be wanted in that sense rather then some baby. However... it grew creepy, it wasn’t women or a fella his age...it was more the gaze of older men. Marko detested it so much- he KNEW he’s seen what some of the guys... even younger then him ended up doing- he could see the occasional look in david’s eye. No he would never really consider....no. Paul was more his shoulder to cry on, someone to go to , to ramble to to speak with and just be with. The two were touchy, always leaning against eachother or grabbing their arms, laughing or sleeping or- eventually it became more then casual, it was serious. The two started ‘dating’ at some point- none of them were ever serious on titles but it was good to put a word to it.

Paul campbell-

Age (as of 1906) : 18

Born: 1888

Appearance: tall and lengthy, he has a mole on his left cheek, he has stubble/shadow opposed to a beard. He’s also usually dirty, dirty blond , long hair think Buffalo bill with volume and his hairline not receding

Backstory:

Grew up in a orphanage, hundreds of kids all stuffed together into a few rooms, often sharing beds and everything else. He was never a still child, he would always figit and move and shift - whenever he’s supposed to be quite or still like lessons or Mass he just couldn’t. This - got him most of the attention from the mistresses and overseers- much more quick to slap then to explain... he was docile , quick to flinch and try and stop. Never worked well. Once you get to 7-8ish you work if not adopted by a decent age. Sweeping, factory work he tried it all. He was particularly desensitized to violence at a extremely young age while working in a textile factory- he’s seen a kids arm come clean off. Terror turns to fascination eventually. At some point he’d stopped returning at night finding David and Marko at 15, he started hanging with them- it was safer in numbers that sort of thing- Paul could read a bit , David could write a bit- the three worked it out together. always so distracted- the others learned right off the bat he wasn’t built for pick pocketing no matter how hard he begged about it. Instead he’d do real jobs- sweeping , fighting, placing crooked bets that sort of thing. He always complains. A massive softie since he was young, Paul can’t quite handle being on his own- he’s used to having at least one other person around him at all times causing him to get quite hooked onto the other boys. He hovers around the same places. He is also a fan of dancing- Paul- is music obsessed the moment he heard the first noise of any sort of music he was hooked. He is one about fun- being restrained from it for so long as a child- always to sit out and watch or to think about whatever he did.. oh. Dancing, drinking, drugs, clubs, all of it is his kind of deal- he would drag the others with him when they had a bit of extra cash to deal with. Dwayne and his brother, when they joined on he was instantly accepting, unlike Marko he didn’t have the deep seeded trust issues, he was immediately touchy and happy to share a joke or a comment no matter the glares. He is the one to get Dwayne to lighten up a little bit, to smile he loves to see that smile :). He got around to dating Marko, when they finally put a label on it he was really giddy about it, making jokes and comments- he adores the little names like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘bo’ - he eventually gets around to just plain ‘sugar’ . Marko is the one who really entertains Paul’s love for dancing, the two of them trying to get the others to do something lighten up- eventually their pawing would bare fruit. Paul makes the best out of the worst situation, even if they end up sleeping on the beach more often then not- he somehow makes it seam alright. Except that one time he had gotten sand in Dwayne’s eye and all hell broke lose. He is the current youngest member of the group after Jaspers passing.

Dwayne Maher

Age (as of 1906) : 22

Born: 1884

Appearance: Tall, muscular , tanned(I will establish this now but Dwayne is Native American.) long Black hair with burnet highlights, reaches half down his back.

Backstory:

Born out more Midwest unlike the others he was not born in San Francisco, eldest son of a decent sized family of four kids. Do to conflict he and his younger brother skipped town, skipped state and fled to California.. better options you know?. He’s strong built, hard working and good with his hands though, rather playful most of the time. He looks after his younger brother closely, when there is work they work the same place, when there is not they both still do the same. Quickly took to David and the gang , having a tight knit bond with each of them. He was sort of the muscle - if there was trouble, he knew how to fight and it would likely work better then the knives the boys carried around or the gun David could barely shoot. It was Paul who got him to open up more, about himself and just to speak in general, he’s much more under his breath and jokingly commenting then he is saying something out loud- however if he dislikes something or thinks it stupid you WILL know it. Like David he carries the occasional thought of caution, however he’s not nearly as quick to worry. Maher is not his actual last name , nor does he ever mention it- he simply uses this one when it’s needed as some sort of identification or document. He’s surprisingly good at money, he ends up counting with David and is better at budgeting no matter how he may want or need something. He doesn’t speak on his past as he tries to make it seam he has little of one, he likes to make things mysterious he finds it amusing.

Jasper Maher-

Age (as of 1906) : 16

Born: 1890

Died: 1906

Appearance: shoulder length black hair, typically tied back and braided , tanned, string bean.

Backstory:

The younger brother of Dwayne who is much much more open on how he grew up, casually mentioning things he learned from his parents of his brother (he doesn’t remember his parents that much.) young hot shot sort of kid who’d much rather have action then he would some serious job, loud, energy filled and one for violence- however he’s surprisingly sweet. He often got himself and his brother into trouble. He was a quick and fast young child who grew surprisingly closest with Marko, the two having a habit for breaking every possible rule they could manage together. Their close friendship lead to Marko naming one of his birds after Jasper long after his passing.

Max-

Unknown age but he is seen as extremely old and powerful

Relationship with the boys:

After finding them he has decided to take them under his metaphorical and physical wing, acting as a sort of guardian. Food, clothing, shelter, he was everything the boys didn’t have and was surprisingly inviting in the beginning. ‘I do this for you, you on occasion do this for me’ sort of deal. He wasn’t a leader so much as he was a usual figure, the boys knew and understood him to be above them... so they followed you know? The whole new vampirism thing and the clueless kids- he had to explain and show nearly everything... especially to David, he wasn’t so much harsh to him as he was strict- more of a lead by example sort. Honestly he was father like in a strange sense- that someone is almost like a parent but very much your boss. See... with Max’s strength, there’s this almost automatic level of control- you can’t say no to him. You literally can’t not do what he asks (some supernatural level messing-). There’s something dark about him, in him that the boys still don’t understand in the 80s- but it scares them. It’s strange, it feels unlike him... he seams just like a Dorky , sweet man until...

Some random thoughts that don’t really fit anything

The boys are explicitly religious, past what you’d hear in passing or remember from growing up. Saying “oh god” and respecting religious officials are about what you’ll get

Whoopsies! This was a extremely long post lmao. Sorry for the long read but I could go on and on about them this was just a small blurb to all of it. If you ever wanna hear more do tell me. Also tell me if I should add tw for anything as I know I got a little dark at some points.

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jpegjade · 4 years

Text

Waddle waddle - Spencer

i am back with another fic after like a week of not writing i think! idk i just know it’s been a little while. this one is just a cute fluffy story that doesn’t really go anywhere, it’s just for fun as a request. it’s so cute to write these adorable fluffy pieces!!

request: Spencer’s wife, who is 6 months pregnant, walks into the office because Spencer forgot his lunch. No one knew Spencer had a girlfriend, much less a wife that’s pregnant, because he wanted to keep his family safe.

warnings: i’m too lazy to proof reid (get it?) so probably some mistakes. other than that, it’s fluff

_______________

There wasn’t a case today. Oddly enough, it was paperwork day. So all the case files everyone let pile up were sitting on their desks and ready to be assessed.

Spencer was talking to Hotch in his office about something important so he wasn’t sitting at his desk. They had been sitting there talking for a while so he didn’t expect a visitor. Everyone else was going through their own cases, occasionally cracking jokes with each other and getting second opinions.

Meanwhile, Garcia was on her way to her office when she noticed a very pregnant woman sitting in Spencer’s desk chair. To Penelope, she seemed very out of place and something felt like it was wrong.

“Hi, can I help you?” Garcia asked you, distracting you from answering a text from your best friend.

“No, that’s okay. I’m just waiting on SSA Dr. Reid.” You said, smiling.

You took in the sight that was Penelope Garcia. She was wearing a black dress covered in small rainbows to match the rainbows on her headband and in her hair.

“Oh. Well Reid should be down in a second. Is there anything I can get you while we wait?” Garcia asked, trying to restrain herself from asking about the baby.

“No, that’s okay. I can just wait here.” You said, spinning side to side in the chair. “I’m not in a rush.”

Garcia smiled at you one more time before quickly walking up to Morgan and Spencer, who were still discussing one of Morgan's profiles outside of Hotch’s office.

“Boy wonder, there’s a very pregnant lady at your desk and-” Garcia was cut off by Spencer running past her with a worried look on his face.

You were just scrolling Facebook when Spencer came up to you, kneeling on one knee in front of you.

“Is everything alright? Are you okay? How’s baby Reid?” Spencer said, frantically.

“We’re fine, sweetie.” You chuckled. “You forgot your lunch so I decided to bring it to you. I’m sure no one suspects anything since I’m a visitor and I’m sure you guys get visitors all the time about cases from what you tell me.”

“Oh.” Spencer put a hand on your thigh to balance himself as he exhaled. “I was so worried as soon as Garcia told me there was a pregnant lady at my desk.”

“She’s more colorful than I expected her to be.” You said, smiling.

Spencer smiled with you. He loved to see you happy and excited. There was such a length of time when you weren’t as happy and it killed him inside to know that there was nothing he could do while you suffered. But now, everything was balanced again.

“They’re talking about us.” Spencer said, pointing in the direction of the team upstairs.

“Should I go? You should look gravely serious like something is wrong.” You said, whispering.

Garcia walked by again, staring at the two of you.

“I was thinking… It’s been 5 years of us being married. I know I said I didn’t want anyone to know, because I want to keep you safe at all times, but maybe this is the opportunity to get a couple things off my chest with the team.” Spencer said, tentatively.

“Oh.” You said, surprised.

You heard all about the BAU team from stories and knew they were Spencer’s family outside of you and baby Reid but you never thought you would meet them. You didn’t think you’d do more than hear about them until Spencer retired.

At the beginning of the relationship, you didn’t really understand. You thought he was just another guy who had commitment issues and didn’t want to show you off to anyone. He was already old school and wasn’t on any social media but he didn’t mind you posting the pictures you posted of him of your social media because he didn’t understand how it worked for a while. Once he learned, he still didn’t mind because it made you happy to show him off. You gave him a chance and you began to understand he just wanted to keep you safe.

“Is that okay?” Spencer asked, reading your body language as it shifted from happy to uncomfortable.

“Well, they don’t even know about us so I don’t want it to be uncomfortable.” You said.

“It won’t be. There will be some shock but it won’t be bad.” Spencer smiled. “Come on, it’s my turn to show you off.”

Spencer grabbed both of your hands and pulled you up, chuckling as you wobbled a little bit from the motion. You walked towards the team, holding Spencer’s hand, much to the surprise of the team.

“Garcia, can you have everyone meet us in the bullpen?” Spencer said, noticing Garcia walk past the two of you for the third time.

“You got it.” She said, quickly walking to find the rest of the team.

“Let’s go to the room.” Spencer walked with you to the glass room, leading you to a chair in front of a screen mounted on the wall.

You sat down with a small groan and Spencer smiled. He loved everything about being there for your pregnancy.

Everyone entered the room with concerned and confused faces. Spencer stood there, smiling the whole time, which confused them even more. Spencer never presented cases and even moreso, there was a nervous woman sitting in front of them. Hotch was the last to enter the room, closing the door behind him.

“I have something to confess.” Spencer started. “But before that, I want you to meet y/n.”

Everyone looked at each other oddly. They knew this wasn’t bad, otherwise Spencer would be solemn. He was beaming right now.

“Reid, the confession.” Hotch said, straight faced as ever.

“Yes.” Spencer said, trying to make his face serious but he failed because he was so excited. “I’ve been hiding something for the past 5 years and I feel like it’s time to finally be honest.”

Everyone was still confused. They kept looking between Spencer and you.

“I want everyone to meet my wife, y/n and baby Reid.” Spencer said, putting his hand on your shoulder.

You looked around the room at everyone’s faces. Silence and astonishment hung in the quiet air as everything sunk in for the team.

“Boy wonder married a very beautiful lady and has a baby wonder on the way!” Garcia was the first to move.

You stood up with another groan as she held her arms out for a hug. Slowly, it sank in for the rest of the team. They each moved from their chairs and walked over to hug Spencer and meet you for the first time. They welcomed the distraction from their paperwork to celebrate rather than look at more photos of murder. Soon, the team was welcoming you with open arms and smiling faces.

“And here I was thinking that pretty boy would never find himself a pretty girl. He already had one!” Morgan said, putting a hand on Spencer’s shoulder with a smile.

“How far along are you?” JJ asked you as she, Emily, and Garcia formed a semi circle around you.

“Six months.” You said, rubbing your very full belly.

After cracking a few jokes and meeting everyone, no one could believe that Spencer managed to keep you away for so long.

“So all that extra coffee and long nights were for this pretty lady here?” Morgan asked, gesturing towards you.

“All for her.” Spencer said, beaming at you.

“I think we can all appreciate the sentiment behind Reid’s decision but in the future, I would appreciate it if you would disclose sensitive information like this.” Hotch said, partially smiling.

Everyone was so happy to See Spencer happy for once. The boy had gone through so much trouble and trauma that it was a nice change of pace. They could tell he really loved you and you were still head over heels for him. From your body language to the way that you always glanced over at him, it was something special to the two of you.

“Oh goodness.” You said, clutching your stomach.

Spencer immediately looked concerned as soon as he heard you groan, thinking something was wrong.

“What’s happening?” Spencer said, quickly guiding you to a chair.

You grabbed his arm and put it on your stomach where he could feel little movements. The tears immediately pooled in his eyes as he looked at you. He was never around when the baby started shifting and kicking at the same time every day so this was his first time feeling it. The tears rolled down his cheeks and everyone on the team was so in love.

They were in love with you, in love with the way Spencer connected with you and in love with their boy wonder’s joy. The baby was kicking for a while so everyone got to feel it while all you felt was annoyed that it took so long for the baby to finish shifting. They must have sensed all the attention on the outside.

“Okay baby, I need a nap.” You said once everyone slowly started leaving the room to get back to paperwork.

You and Spencer were left in the room alone at this point.

“I love you so much. Thank you for bringing me lunch.” He said, hand on the side of your face.

He stood up, kissing your forehead before helping you up.

He told Hotch that he would be back in a bit but he was going to make sure you got home safe. That’s all he wanted, honestly. To protect you and at the end of the day, know you’re safe.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine

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imagining-in-the-margins · 4 years

Text

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 6 | S.R.)

Summary: Something’s up with Spencer and Derek shows up at his door. The couple has their first fight.

A/N: By the way, we have a playlist for this Fic Series! Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader   Category: Smut! (NSFW) & ANGST 💔 Content Warning: Adults w/ Age Gap (10yr), unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), heated arguing Word Count: 6,785

MASTERLIST

—————————————————

My dreams had been particularly absent as of late. I wondered if it was because I was too busy living them.

Fantasy and reality had been blending together in a symphony of overwhelming emotion. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. The warmth surrounding me was greater than just the temperature of the car, it was the spirit of Spencer’s company.

I was awoken from the thought by strong arms under me, hoisting me out of the car as my head lolled over to his chest. It took me a moment longer to realize that he had picked me up, quietly carrying me towards the apartment.

“Pumme down,” I slurred while my eyes struggled to open, my hands weakly protesting my position. Spencer just chuckled, readjusting to try and follow my instructions. However, I just as quickly almost tumbled out of his arms in my rush to the ground.

“You are so graceful,” he laughed harder now, holding onto me as I steadied myself on my feet, not even bothering to fix my messed up hair.

Rubbing my eyes to try and wipe the exhaustion off my face, I replied in the least hostile voice ever, “Shut up.”

He waited for me to lead the way, probably to make sure I didn’t fall on my ass. Truthfully, I was a little surprised he chose to take me to his place instead of mine. After all, it was late and he’d barely gotten any sleep last night. I wasn’t going to complain though.

This time when we entered his apartment, he didn’t seem to care if I wandered around. However, it’s probably because I was tired as shit. I headed to the bedroom on instinct, beginning to strip before he even entered the room.

“Getting comfortable?” He joked, and I wondered which way he meant the question. Was I getting comfortable existing in his space, or by removing my clothes? The answer to both questions was yes. Wasn’t planning on telling him that, though.

Instead, I just smiled. “See something you like, Dr. Reid?”

Immediately recognizing the line from our first night together, he shook his head with an equally snarky grin. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”

“I can’t help it,” I shrugged, “I think about it all the time.”

“We can make a new memory if you want.”

The twisting sensation in my gut reminded me how quickly he could turn the tables on me. That stupid, suave motherfucker.

As he approached me, my heart beat recklessly, like a child with a drum set. I like to think that I am quick on my feet and easily able to bounce back… but sometimes Spencer was just so…

Gentle. That was the way he touched me, his hands coming up from behind me and gingerly exploring my chest, stomach, and hips. With his cheek pressed against my temple, I could feel the way he deeply breathed in the scent of my perfume still lingering after the long day.

Caring was the way he spun my body around to face him, kissing me with the same unrelenting passion I’d felt in the observatory.

Quiet jubilation was my response, my hands taking their time removing his clothes as he backed me against the bed. This silence persisting between us was not actually silence at all, the room filled with soft sounds of our breath quickening and the rustling of fabrics as they were thrown to the ground.

He lifted me off the ground and onto the bed by the backs of my thighs, climbing onto the bed with me as he positioned me nearly flat on the bed.

At first it was just like all the other times we’ve shared, although something felt distinctly different. There was an emotion running just under the surface of our contact that I tried to will away.

Spencer’s slow descent down my body was not helping. He was only passing by my chest and I was already a steady flow of moans, clutching desperately to his shoulders that were moving out of reach.

It wasn’t until he pressed a long kiss just above my pubic bone that I realized what he was planning on doing. My muscles tensed under him, my legs clamping together in painfully obvious shyness.

“W-what are you doing?” Had I actually just fucking stuttered?

“I think you know what I’m doing,” he responded, his hand easily separating my legs as his kisses continued onto my inner thigh.

I reached down, covering myself with my hands as my face burned with all the blood that should be reserved for more fun activities.

“B-but, it’s late. We should… do something else instead.”

“No,” was his response. So simple, so cruel.

“But Spencer,” I whined, cursing my legs for shaking as I felt his tongue gliding closer to my center.

“What? You can’t honestly tell me you’re too shy after you let me finger fuck you on the metro.”

I smiled nervously at the memory, still shifting back and forth to avoid his touch getting too close to where he wanted to be. “I-It’s not that it’s just… It’s never… done anything for me. So it’s not worth it.”

“Oh?” Spencer’s eyes immediately filed with a dark, voracious greed, a smirk spreading across his face that I’d never seen before. If I was nervous before, now I was terrified. I’d never seen him so competitive.

“You’re not broken, little girl. Promise.”

My legs were shaking so desperately now I couldn’t have stopped him if I tried. Without another thought he spread my legs, positioning himself enthusiastically under my knees and between my thighs.

“Some things...” his breath hot against my arousal, “just require a man’s touch.”

With that, he finally ran his tongue between my folds, the combined wetness of his mouth and my body leaving me drowning in a sea of his pleasure. My eyes were clenched shut as he explored every piece of me he could reach.

My fingers curled and rooted in his hair, tugging mercilessly as he dipped his tongue inside me, no doubt enjoying the way I squirmed and shook for him, laid out before him like a decadent meal.

“S-Spencer!” I cried as my legs wrapped around him, heels digging into his back. Knowing that he couldn’t respond with words, I wasn’t at all prepared for the way his responding moan reverberated against me.

“Fuck!” I yelled again, my breath coming in short, loud bursts. He raised his mouth just a few inches, his nose pressing hard against me as his tongue lavished the sensitive pearl at my crest.

I couldn’t moan his name, or anything else, at this point. It was just careening mewls, whines, and screams to the tune of Spencer’s ministrations. It was a mistake to look down at him, his pupils blown so wide that I could barely see the brown as he fixated on the wrecked look on my face.

Throwing my head back, I held him down against me as he switched from long laps of his tongue to short, flickering motions, gently suckling on me like a man starved.

I couldn’t take it much longer, finally breaking through the tension to find sweet release, the vibrations of his hum of pleasure following me over the edge. Now simultaneously overstimulated and invigorated, my body tried to relax.

But Spencer didn’t relent. No, he became even more fervent, bringing a hand up to join his mouth.

Jesus, how could this man still breathe?

Wasn’t my problem. Because as soon as two long, slender fingers plunged into my heat, I was blinded by ecstasy

My entire body was spasming underneath him in a disjointed mess. When I could breathe, they were gasps of air akin to the first one taken after being swept into the riptide.

His fingers curled inside of me, stroking me in harsh, long movements until my muscles began to flutter once more. My second orgasm was shorter, but twice as intense. I couldn’t identify the ways he was touching me, feeling all consumed by this man.

As I came down this time, he slowed his pace with me, eventually drawing his face away with one final brush of his tongue up the length of me.

I shuddered, my back arching off the bed as the weight of my legs collapsed against him. Sweat dripping down my temples, I couldn’t stop the way my body continued to tremble underneath him.

“That...” his voice breaking from the lack of breath and use, “was definitely worth it.”

Once I was able to breathe and form a thought, I responded with an equally crackly voice, although mine was for a different reason. “Spencer Reid, you have positively ruined me.” I rasped with a laugh, “I don’t know how anyone else will ever compare.”

Using the back of his hand to clean his face, a smile appeared for both of us. Stalking closer, his face hung above mine as he admitted, “Good. I want you all for myself.”

And he had me. He had me until the stars fell from the sky and ended the Earth in a fiery ball of smoke. When the world is drowned by the oceans falling from the sky he would have my last full breath.

I would be his until he wouldn’t have me anymore, and then a little longer after that.

Which is what I told him when he kissed me. The taste of myself on his tongue, we shared more than bodily fluids. I wrapped tired arms around his neck, tangling our limbs together to stop him from floating away from me.

There was no salacious provocation. There was no anger at all. It was a deep, meaningful yet silent compassion.

So synchronized our minds and hearts that my hips knew to raise when he brought his arousal to mine, my body accepting him with only a little apprehension.

With just enough force to fully join together, he pushed into me, his kiss becoming deeper. He was trying to tell me something that I had begged him to say but was now terrified to hear.

Maybe I should have changed the mood, tried to turn this into another meaningless romp between lonely strangers. But I didn’t. Part of me didn’t want to. Most of me didn’t want to. But the small piece of me - the scared, lonely piece - begged me to hold on to the space between us.

Spencer’s thrusts were slow and meaningful. The muscles in his back tensed with each movement, dedicating every part of him to this dance with me. The long, powerful moan that crept through my throat broke the kiss, and I couldn’t stop myself from calling to him again.

“Spencer,” I whimpered.

He had that look in his eyes again, the possessive, ravenous look that made me feel like I belonged here, with him. He fit within me so perfectly, each movement drawing my hips into a soft rocking motion with him.

His hand almost felt cold against the burning skin of my cheek as he directed my eyes to stay fixed on his. He swallowed a moan, desperately trying to remain composed as his pace began to increase in force and speed.

“(Y/n)...”

Oh no. That voice. I had only heard that voice from him twice, and both in the last twenty four hours. ‘Don’t...’ he had first begged with that voice before hypocritically criticizing the million plus words in the English language for not being able to express his feelings for me.

“(Y/n),” he repeated, working up the courage I would never let him utilize. “I—“

The speed with which my hand raised to cover his mouth with my fingertips was startling in comparison to the agonizingly slow pace of the rest of our bodies.

“Shhh,” I hushed, my eyes softening as I begged him to keep his words to himself. My actions hurt him, but the alternative might have hurt worse. Besides, what was the point of saying it if I already anticipated it?

I don’t think you love me as much as you think you do, Spencer Reid.

Once it was clear he wouldn’t continue, my hands returned to the back of his neck, bringing him in for another wistful kiss. More insistent now to act out the words he wished he could say, our tongues joined in the exploration of one another.

Although just as slow, Spencer drove into me as hard as he had before, my entire body shaking as I slid against the sheets. I clung to his shoulders, letting his lips slip away from me as he buried his face in the crook of my neck.

The stifled sound of my name on lips left me trembling at his mercy. But that was nothing compared to the way shockwaves spread through my body as he growled in my ear, “Come for me.”

It was a command I was all too excited to surrender to. With one last careening cry, my body tensed around him. I could feel my walls fluttering, trying to hold onto him and carry him over the edge with me.

His hips were flush against mine as he drove into me one last time, holding himself as deeply in me as he could. He propped himself up, locking our eyes together as he finished.

“That’s my little girl,” he uttered as his warmth spread within me. My mouth hung open as I panted his name, my eyes trying not to roll back. The exhaustion that quickly followed was unlike any of our previous trysts. My heart felt as heavy as my muscles felt weak.

Spencer dropped his forehead to mine, granting me one more kiss filled with longing. I kissed him back just as sweetly, my fingers barely pressed against his jaw.

We didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. I couldn’t find words to shift the energy in the room, and I didn’t want to. Once he was off of me, I was the one to leave first.

He didn’t watch me as I walked away; his vision was locked on the ceiling as he let himself be lost in his thoughts. I could only imagine what they were about.

I returned to the bedroom to find him standing at his closet, just as lost in thought. I wasn’t even sure he heard me come in, but he definitely heard the curses I muttered under my breath.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, turning to see me crouched over my bag on the floor.

“Yeah, I just forgot my sweater. And no offense, but you’re a giant blanket hog.” The little chuckle afterwards was to make up for the fact I could barely maintain eye contact with him.

It was strange how much more naked I felt right now, compared to when our bodies had been tangled in a mess of pleading and sweat.

He didn’t respond to my comment, turning to his closet and pulling something from the top shelf. I wasn’t sure what it was until it landed in my lap.

A navy blue crewneck depicting two hands holding a torch, with “Caltech” below it. My breath caught in my throat, and I looked up at him, my mouth open but unable to make noise.

“It’s fine,” he responded to a question I hadn’t even asked. “It doesn’t fit me anymore, anyway.”

An awkward smile later, he finally made his way to the bed and slid under the covers. His back was to me.

Slipping into the sweatshirt, I took a moment to breathe in the way it smelled like the home I’d found with him. This sweater had obviously been loved; it was worn around the edges and lightly bleached from too many washes.

I didn’t let him speak the words ‘I love you’, so he found other ways to say it instead.

Under the covers I inched over to where he lay, snaking my arm around his waist and pulling myself as close as I could to his back.

“Thank you, Spencer.” I said with shaky reverence. I wasn’t talking about the sweatshirt.

An equally unsteady breath left him, and I knew he was avoiding looking at me for a reason. I wasn’t going to make him. He put his hand over mine on his chest, holding tightly for a moment before relieving the pressure.

He didn’t say it, but I could hear it in his thoughts.

‘Don’t,’ he had warned me, ‘I won’t be able to stop myself.’

Why hadn’t I listened? Why had I let him kiss me like that? Had I make a mistake in stopping those words?

Had that been the only chance I’d ever have to hear Spencer Reid say he loved me, even if it wouldn’t have been entirely true?

His heart beat against my heart to remind me that I was still in this moment with him. He let me hold him as I drifted off to sleep.

I wondered if he would still join me in my dreams.

—————————————————

When the sun peeked through the windows it landed on the bed next to me, my arms clinging to sheets and empty space.

Spencer was not there anymore.

Although I hadn’t expected it to be the same as before, I was surprised to find the nothingness. The bed wasn’t even warm, a sign he hadn’t been there in some time.

Trying not to panic, I managed to slip on leggings and pack up my things. I wasn’t even sure what I would do if he wasn’t here. Before I would have loved the opportunity to get to snoop, but now it just felt dreadful to be here without him.

Luckily, it wasn’t too hard to find him. I rounded the corner, spotting him curled up on his couch with his head resting against his arm. He looked miserable, the bags under his eyes visible despite his being asleep.

The alarms in my mind were blaring, and I begged them to be quiet. My heart was breaking with each step he didn’t wake up. Left with no other choice, I placed a heavy hand on his shoulder, hoping not to spook him with a lighter touch.

He immediately stirred awake, seemingly surprised that he had fallen asleep in the first place.

“Spencer, are you alright?” I asked as I got down on my knees in front of him, meeting his height as he sat up.

“What time is it?” He ignored my question.

“9:30,” I replied patiently, my hands resting on his knee. “Why are you out here?”

His hands ran over his face like it would answer my question. I wasn’t giving up, though, continuing my questions until he answered at least one of them.

“Did you have another nightmare? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Just shut up,” he snapped, and I actually jumped at the words.

“I-I’m sorry,” my voice shook as I watched the guilt wash over him. My hands dropped from his lap and my body shrunk into itself. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s not you. I just— I couldn’t sleep.” Like that wasn’t fucking obvious. I felt terrible but I didn’t know how to reach him like this.

He had to let me.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Something happened in the pause between us. Spencer’s eyes met mine, and I felt the way he was tugging at my heart.

His tongue swept over his lips, contemplating whether I was safe to share this unknown weight with. His mouth barely opened, a sharp inhale that usually precedes catharsis.

I never got my answer.

The knocking on the door was more like an insistent banging, with a very worried male voice on the other side.

“Reid, it’s Morgan. Is your phone broken? Where you at, man?”

Spencer hadn’t looked this rattled in all the time I'd known him - not even when he’d found out he was hanging out with a criminal (me).

“Oh, shit,” he hissed, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me away from the couch. “Shit, (y/n), go to my room.”

“What? Who is that?” I whispered back, looking back at the door as the man continued to knock.

“Go,” he cryptically replied. So I did, bolting down the hallway and waiting as I heard him answer the door.

“Hey, sorry, my phone died.” Spencer explained to the man I couldn’t see.

“You look like hell. Everything alright?” At least this man shared my concern for the obvious mental breakdown he was clearly going through. “Yeah, I just… didn’t get much sleep.”

As much as the man seemed not to trust the response, he sighed. “Well, tough break. We’ve got a case. I’ve been calling you for an hour. You can sleep on the flight. We’ve gotta go.”

“Alright. Give me a minute, I’ll meet you at the car.”

Okay, that was a plan. Then at least I could get out of here before Spencer did. Not like it would be bad if I left after him, but I just wasn’t sure if that’s something he wanted to do.

“Reid, wait,” the man named Morgan said, clearly stopping the door from shutting. “Are you sure you’re alright? I can tell Hotch you can’t make it if you’re not.”

Perceptive. I guess that was their job.

“I’m fine,” Spencer clearly lied, “go wait by the car.”

The sound of the door clicking shut was what I needed to breathe again, and I relaxed against the wall just in time for Spencer to briskly walk past me, not even pausing to look at me.

I padded after him, grateful that I had already packed up my stuff. I picked up the bag, pausing to stare at him. He could feel it but didn’t make any indication of how he felt about it.

“Just go.”

My lips tucked together, trying to find the right words to say right now. He was frantically packing stuff together in a go bag he never even had a chance to unpack from the last time. I had begun to turn when he stopped, tossing the clothes at the bag as he rushed over to me.

His hands grabbed my face, crashing his lips against mine in a flagrantly fond manner. It felt like a kiss meant to say goodbye for longer than one trip.

Now even more wary, I grabbed onto his wrists by my face, looking up at him with one more plea. “Please, Spencer. Take care of yourself. Come home safe.”

For the first time, his eyes flickered down to his sweatshirt swamping my figure. Although startled, I could see the desire to please me behind the wall steadily forming between us.

“I will.”

I was not convinced, but he wasn’t going to accomplish that any time soon. I let him go, turning back to watch him one more time before I left.

As I exited his apartment I pulled the door softly, turning the handle and waiting for it to close fully before releasing the latch.

“Hey,” a confused voice rang out. I was not alone in this hallway.

Like a deer in the headlights, I didn’t even look at the man whose voice I immediately recognized as the one who had been at Spencer’s door a few minutes earlier.

Shit! He was supposed to be down by the car!

“Sorry to scare you. I just… Well, to be honest, I don’t really know what to say. It’s usually Reid that catches girls leaving my apartment.”

The inside of my brain was literally just screaming, my hands beginning to shake as I stepped back from the door, frantically avoiding eye contact with Spencer’s coworker.

“I-I was… You know, it’s not like… That.” I stumbled over words, sounding like a fucking idiot. Morgan’s eyebrows raised, a clever smirk on his face as he laughed.

“Babygirl. It’s 9:30 in the morning,” he pointedly remarked, an accusing finger aimed at the logo on my shirt, “and that’s not your sweatshirt.” Fuck! I forgot I was even fucking wearing it!

“I might not be Reid, but I know this isn’t a study group.”

All of the admittedly poor excuses in my mind came out in a defeated whine, my head hanging in shame. “Pleeease don’t tell Spencer.”

His chuckle was comforting. I understand now why they’re so good at what they do.

“No worries. I’m just glad you didn’t keep him any longer. I’m guessing you’re the one that kept him up all night.”

My face fell, and the way he responded told me he immediately understood why. He didn’t ask, although I could tell he wanted to.

“I... I’m worried about him.” My hands clasped together in front of me, worrying the sleeves under my fingers. He turned to face me more fully, and I could feel the way he inspected each movement of my body. He wasn’t as subtle as Spencer, which was its own relief.

“Will you keep an eye on him?” I blurted out, finally making strong eye contact. “Make sure h-he takes care of himself. That he’s okay?”

Morgan nodded, a familiar solemn look on his face. “Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks,” I sighed, tucking my hair behind my ear as I glanced down the hallway. “Uh, I-I should go before he comes out.”

He followed my line of sight down the hallway, then nodded again. As I passed him, he called to me one more time, “What’s your name?”

I halted mid-step, not sure how to respond. I didn’t turn around, forcing out my first name as quickly as I could.

“(Y/n).”

Only time would tell if I’d just made a terrible mistake.

—————————————————

There was something about cases like these, the ones where the happy ending isn’t nearly happy enough, that stick with me. I had fucked up yesterday and I knew it. I’d let my emotions get the better of me and made a stupid mistake that could have hurt people.

Thankfully, it didn’t. But I knew that the man in the driver’s seat next to me was still fuming. If it was any consolation to Derek, I was just as upset with myself. But that didn’t stop him from asking the question I’d been waiting for since he first picked me up at my apartment.

“What’s been up with you, man?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mumbled back under my breath, acutely aware of how unconvincing it was. I hadn’t slept in days and my head was killing me. It took everything in me not to wear sunglasses right now, knowing that he would use it against me.

“Nah, we’re not playing like this. This isn’t just about you, Reid. You need to talk to me. How am I supposed to trust you?” There it was. He was acting like he hadn’t seen this coming. As much as I didn’t want it to be true, we were all profilers. He could either keep acting like he hadn’t been overanalyzing everything I did and shut up, or let it go.

“Nothing’s changed!” I nearly shouted, “There’s no reason you shouldn’t!” It wasn’t true, but I wasn’t going down this road without a fight.

“Something is up with you, man. And it’s making you reckless.”

Ha! Of all the people to lecture me about being emotional, immature, or selfish? What a joke. “Oh, I’m reckless?”

“Yeah, Reid. You are.” His tensed jaw in his stern reply lit an anger in my chest that I was holding back with every bit of strength I had.

“Do you know what happened the other day when I came to get you? After you let your phone die cause you weren’t sleeping? A girl came out of your apartment and told me she was worried about you. You wanna tell me about that?”

I can’t even pinpoint which word that came out of his mouth set off the blind rage in my mind. The pulsating pain in my temples was nothing compared to the bile that stung my throat or how my stomach tied itself into knots. She did what?

The pause was stretching too long; I was giving him too much information. But my response was just as pathetic, my voice cracking as I whispered, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Damn right I don’t. Cause you haven’t told me anything about this.” I could barely see straight, nonetheless comprehend what he was saying to me. I wanted to scream at her right now. She told Morgan? What the hell was she thinking? This was my career!

“What’s a girl doing leaving your apartment in your clothes, telling me to look after you?” God, he was still talking. I don’t know how I would handle this situation without the headaches, and I certainly don’t want to handle it in a car after watching someone blow their fucking brains out in front of me.

“Hey, Morgan, here’s an idea. How about we don’t interrogate girls the other one is sleeping with?” I snapped, my hands finally leaving their clenched fists.

“I didn’t ask her shit, Reid. She looked terrified. How old is she anyway? 25?”

This was more than he was ever meant to know – especially at this point. I wasn’t prepared at all to handle everything that was going on with her. That’s why I hadn’t told anyone about her. I’d wanted time to deal with the shit I already had going on. It hadn’t been long since Emily waltzed back into my life, taking any trust I had in JJ with her entrance.

It hadn’t been long since I had to hold tighter to my NA chip to stop me from dipping into the locked box in my apartment. I can’t handle this. I couldn’t handle her if she was going to make my life any more complicated than it already was.

“She’s not important.” I tried to convince myself the words were true.

“Really? She’s not important but you give her your sweatshirt?” Of course he fucking caught that little detail. I rubbed my forehead, the pain returning in a crushing manner. I felt like I couldn’t fucking breathe.

“I’m not buying it, Reid.”

That was it. That was all it took for me to lose any sense of sanity or compassion I had left in reserve, my voice raising higher than I’d used with Derek before.

“Morgan, she’s just some stupid fucking girl I picked up at a bar. It doesn’t matter what she said. She doesn’t know anything about me, okay? She’s no one.”

The look on his face as the scathing words burned my tongue told me neither of us believed me, but neither of us was going to challenge it, either.

“Fine,” he said, defeated, “Sorry I even asked.”

I leaned back in my chair, giving in to the temptation and putting my sunglasses on.

“Great.”

—————————————————

The sound of my phone going off woke me, and I was a little surprised to see Spencer calling me in the middle of the night. Usually he texted me to avoid this situation. Especially on a weeknight.

I picked up the phone, my voice groggy and unsure, “Spencer? It’s after midnight. What’s up. Are you alright? Did you just get home?”

Nothing could have prepared me for the hostility I was immediately met with. “Yeah, I did, and I had a very interesting conversation with Morgan. Do you want to explain what the fuck that was about?”

My heart clenched in my chest, and I grabbed my head to try and stop it from spinning. It didn’t work.

“M-Morgan...?” I stuttered, trying to regulate my vitals, “Is that the guy from the other day?”

“I’m pretty sure you know who he is, (y/n).” Spencer’s voice was quick, harsh, and unrelenting. I’d never heard him like this before.

“What did he say? Are you alright?”

“No, not really, I’m pretty fucking pissed.” I could already feel the tears pooling in my eyes, knowing that I’d make a mistake I couldn’t take back. Knowing I would have to deal with this all, right now.

“Telling my team that you think I’m unstable? What the fuck were you thinking?”

I scrambled to defend myself, since he sure wasn’t going to do it for me. “I never said that, Spencer.” My tone was beginning to match his, and I hated it. I didn’t want to fight with him.

“Well what did you say, then?”

I ran a hand through my hair, looking over at the clock on my nightstand that read 1:01 AM and mourning the sleep I was never going to get now.

“Please, let’s talk about this in the morning. You need to sleep. We both do.”

“Fuck that, we’re talking about it right now.” The noise that came out of my mouth was halfway between a sob and a sigh, tears starting to stain my face as I tried to stop them from going too far.

He didn’t seem to care, continuing on his tirade, “I don’t have the luxury of pretending like nothing happened and going on with my life like a selfish fucking child.”

“That’s not fair, Spencer,” I croaked.

“Oh, it’s not fair? It’s not fair for me to treat you like a child now? After you jeopardize my career?” There was some truth to his words; I had crossed a line that I shouldn’t have. But was that really my fault, that I cared about him when he didn’t?

“Spencer, I was worried about you! You hadn’t slept in two days. You were crying in your sleep. What was I supposed to do?” The light in the hallway came on as my roommate woke up to the sounds of my hushed yelling.

Great, another problem for me to deal with. Another person I was inconveniencing.

“Mind your own fucking business and not tell my coworkers, for one.”

Quieter now, my hands motioned around me like he would be able to see it. Through clenched teeth I urged, “Let’s not pretend like I didn’t have reason to be concerned.”

Spencer bitterly laughed, “What the fuck do you know?”

There was no attempt to stymie my voice nor frustration now, practically yelling into the phone.

“You almost told me you fucking loved me, Spencer! You don’t fucking love me! You don’t even know me!”

A pregnant pause following, and I could practically see the way he was clenching his eyes shut, trying to hide his blatantly obvious emotions behind his hands. “I didn’t say it though, did I?”

Now it was my turn to scoff. “Because I stopped you!”

“And that’s my fault?!” He shouted back.

Throwing my head back against the headboard, I winced at the distraction of the pain. Maybe it knocked some sense into me, because I was starting to remember that this man wasn’t supposed to be the enemy.

“I’m not blaming you, Spencer.” With a deep breath, I tried not to sound like I was crying.

“But I’m not going to let you sabotage this relationship, either. Tell me right now that if I’d let you say it, you wouldn’t have found another reason to end things. Just like you are right now.”

It was hard not to let the anger bleed through my voice as I tried to keep it together for both of our sakes.

His reply was much quicker now, “(Y/n), we don’t have a relationship.”

The words were like a kick to the stomach, and I doubled over as if one had actually landed. We were really still acting like this was fucking normal friendship? Pouring our hearts out and screaming at each other at 1 AM?

“And right now the conversation isn’t about something I did. It’s about you trying to ruin my entire fucking life over your sick idea of romance.” Is that really what he thought I was fucking doing? I was over here worrying about whether he was going to come home safe and he thought I was just trying to get attention? Unable to tell if this was genuine miscommunication or just him projecting, I needed to see him.

“I just... if we have to talk about this tonight, please just come over. We can talk about it.” The emotion was clear in my voice, and I couldn’t hide the tears any longer. I was practically choking on the words, feeling the pain in each fiber of my being.

At this point, I didn’t even care about him being with me. I just wanted him to be okay.

“Come over? Why, so you can try to convince me to fuck you so I forget about it?”

Choking on my breath that was coming in gasps, my voice matching the static of the background noise. “Excuse me?”

Blood boiling and burning breath, I seethed, “What the fuck is the matter with you?!”

“If you know me so well, why don’t you tell me yourself?” He scoffed to hide the hoarseness in his voice.

Was he crying?

“Stop being like this, Spencer. Please.” I was begging him. “I was worried about you. And clearly, I was right to be.”

“How about you worry about yourself before you try to fix other people, (y/n).” There was no laughter or hesitance now, just bitterness and unprecedented hate he was projecting on me.

“Me? What the fuck did I do?”

“Aside from breaking the law literally the first night I met you?” I rolled my eyes at the pathetic excuse. Like I was the first person to ever use a fake ID. He didn’t seem to mind it that badly before.

But it was what came next that vaulted way too far over the line.

“How about how you constantly require some twisted, sadistic attention to make up for all your fucking daddy issues?”

“Daddy issues?!” The guttural growl came from a darker side of myself that Spencer had never seen. “Oh you want to talk about daddy issues, motherfucker? What do my daddy issues say about you? What does it mean that you want to act on them? How you love to tell me I’m your little girl while you fuck me? Or how about calling me a bitch while you fantasize about putting a baby in me? Don’t fucking talk to me about my daddy issues, Spencer.”

Heavy breaths were mirrored through the phone, the line eerily quiet without the screaming accusations.

“I’m done talking to you.” He was quiet now, resigned to the end we had reached. But I wasn’t done yet. I was still mad. Daddy issues? Fuck him.

“Why? Because you can’t handle the fact that I’m right? Because you’re ashamed of me? It’s okay to have feelings, Spencer. I just want you to talk to me about them instead of acting like everything is fine when it’s clearly fucking not.”

“Don’t ever contact a member of my team again. I don’t want or need your help. You don’t know fucking anything. You’re not my girlfriend. You never were.” I’m not sure if a yell would have been any better, but the sudden clarity in his voice killed me all the same. Crying loudly into the receiver, I closed my eyes, pleading his name one more time.

“Spenc—“ I never got to finish. He didn’t even say goodbye.

I wasn’t even worth that.

The sound of the dial tone was deafening, burning into my brain as I clutched the phone in my hand before tossing it across the room. I shrunk into myself, pulling my knees to my chest and burying my face in them.

I don’t even know what had happened. The call had barely lasted five minutes. That’s how long it took for everything to come crashing down around me.

Falling onto my side as the sobs wrecked my body, I spotted that stupid fucking sweatshirt next to me. Torn between wanting to burn it and cling to it, I chose the latter. I buried my face in the fabric, trying to breathe in the way it still smelled like his room.

Would I ever be there with him again? Was he really going to throw it all away that easily?

I knew he didn’t love me like he thought he did, but had I really underestimated just how little I meant to him? I hadn’t, had I? It couldn’t have just been me.

He didn’t get to be the one to tell me that he loved me right before he left me.

He didn’t get to do that when I was the one who fell in love first.

Spencer Reid had just made an enemy of the wrong girl.

—————————————————

| Part 7 |

#spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #angst #smut #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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tossawary · 3 years

Text

Chapter 24: “Seeing is Believing” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” random favorite lines and commentary. Not a full list or full commentary, but longer commentary than usual to talk about quest construction.

AN: This was... a weird chapter to write. When I started outlining, I had... the conversation with Shen Qingqiu planned... the conversation with Shen Yuan planned... the fact that SQH, SY, LQG, and LFL was the quest party... and the fact that they get the Eye at the end of it. That was everything.

The entire rest of this chapter came together FRIDAY LAST WEEK.

Huan Hua Palace wasn’t going to be there. The Weeper didn’t exist. The Eye or its previous owner wasn’t at all connected to the Garden Master. The Shadow Cave Wolf Spiders didn’t exist. The murder plant didn’t exist. The mysterious monster showing up at the end wasn��t originally planned either.

I mean, I had a lot of pre-existing plot threads to tie in and weave with, but ohhh boy! Picture someone lying facedown on a floor like, “I forgot to plan the contents of the super important quest...”

I was originally going to have the Eye quest a lot simpler, but given the weight “Death of the Author” had when I finally reached this part of the story, that wasn’t really going to do! It had to be bigger than that! It needed oomph! This also felt like a good opportunity to really establish the new SQH-SY dynamic. To explore SY fumbling to find a place in this world without strict character role, especially in relation to settled and well-supported SQH.

“One attempts to remain dignified,” Shen Qingqiu agrees. “As there is little point in kicking and screaming about how such ignobility isn’t fair.”

“Ha! Is there ever?”

“Not in my experience.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely not cute when I do it,” Shang Qinghua jokes.

Shen Qingqiu’s lips actually twitch at that.

Success?!

AN: I wasn’t going into this fic with the intention of writing any Shang Qinghua and Original Shen Qingqiu almost friendship! But it started developing and it seemed a shame not to explore Shang Qinghua developing a real relationship with Shen Qingqiu (though not a particularly close one) when the man is suppose to be the scum villain (and the readers know that the man might get replaced by Shen Yuan).

I can see myself writing more Shang Qinghua and Original Shen Qingqiu content in the future. Someone dropped a particularly nice prompt for them in my inbox that I’m looking forward to exploring at some point.

(I mean, not to say that Shang Qinghua has a type, but Shang Qinghua has a type and it’s handsome, deadly, intimidating, frosty men with a villainous character design and trust/abandonment and communication issues. I could make it work.)

“Ah, well, two ‘ideal’ situations come to mind: severing the personal relationship for good… or, ah, talking about how to do better and trying that. You don’t have to forget or even forgive if you don’t want to! But, ah… there’s got to be a difference between totally swallowing your anger and cutting ties forever, right?” Shang Qinghua says awkwardly. “If there’s… ever going to be anything good afterwards…”

Shen Qingqiu stares at him for a sweat-inducing length of time.

“Ah, fuck,” Shang Qinghua thinks.

“Sorry,” he says. “Ahhh, I’m just… thinking about something someone told me… in… in regards to some of my own problems. Never mind! Never mind!”

AN: Luo Jiahui really is out here making Moshang and Qijiu get their fucking act together just by setting a better example.

“Shizun, my apologies for the interruption, but I came to ask Shizun if he would be willing to join our music lesson today? The disciples have missed his playing and are eager to present their improvements.”

“...Very well, unless anyone here would disagree…?” Shen Qingqiu looks directly at the Qian Cao Peak cultivator, as though daring her to object and die.

“It’s an excellent suggestion!” the Qian Cao Peak cultivator says quickly.

The young woman smiles. “And perhaps Shizun could sit in on the calligraphy lesson afterwards? In order to offer his opinion on my progress as a teacher?”

“Fishing for compliments is unbecoming,” Shen Qingqiu says dryly.

“Wait, what?” Shang Qinghua thinks.

AN: So, this has all been happening in the background, but Shen Qingqiu accepted this House of Rejuvenation woman onto his Peak about... 6-ish years ago now? This is kind of meant to parallel Shang Qinghua’s once-secret relationship with Luo Jiahui.

Shang Qinghua was out here trying to be a better person and Shen Qingqiu noticed; now Shen Qingqiu has his own positive (platonic) relationship with a nameless background character who was meant to die for plot reasons. What a thing, huh? If the story was saved because Shang Qinghua started a domino effect of saving random people who went on to change things?

After all, as Shang Qinghua said to the kid, besides Peerless Cucumber’s apparent talent for cultivation, he knows that his fellow transmigrator has three very important skills that will serve him well on An Ding Peak! 1) An encyclopedia knowledge for even seemingly pointless bullshit (which is kind of flattering, honestly). 2) The willingness to fight total strangers over seemingly pointless bullshit. And 3) a sharp enough tongue to win.

Peerless Cucumber didn’t find these points as funny as Shang Qinghua did.

AN: Shen Yuan was always going to end up on An Ding Peak. I thought about sending him to Qing Jing or Qian Cao or Qiong Ding... or any other Peak... but that would take him too far away from Shang Qinghua to really explore their relationship and to move him around conveniently in the story. And SY sticking to An Ding seemed to best illustrate the fact that SY is lost and doesn’t know what to do except cling to SQH.

“It’s not much, sure, but it’s yours,” Shang Qinghua says finally. “You’ll be joining the talisman classes soon, so don’t try anything from a book and then need to request some home repairs.”

Peerless Cucumber nods and puts his stack of manuals down on the table.

“How’s your tutorial mission going?”

“Fine,” the kid says shortly. “Have you found anything for the other one yet?”

“Ah, not yet.”

AN: “Are you winning, son?” meme energy here.

Ah, now Shang Qinghua recognizes his fellow transmigrator’s expression! That’s the same stunned expression one of his Huan Hua not-disciples, Yu Chaonan, made upon meeting the Bai Zhan Peak War God for the first time. Shang Qinghua assumes that Peerless Cucumber was expecting a man who looked more like a musclebound giant and less like a pop idol (if one with amazingly muscular arms), which is a super common and never-not-funny misconception people have about Liu Qingge.

“Brother of one of the most beautiful women in this world, bro,” Shang Qinghua reminds his fellow transmigrator, amused. Aha! Now Peerless Cucumber’s vehement disinterest in the harem stuff is making even more sense than before!

Shang Qinghua’s assumption gets 100% confirmed when it comes time for Peerless Cucumber to fly with Liu Qingge for the next leg of the journey. The other transmigrator is so embarrassed and awkward about it that Shang Qinghua’s super direct brother-in-law asks if the young man is alright.

AN: This was so fun to write. Shang Qinghua really can use the Liu siblings to gauge people’s sexual/romantic orientation.

The map (or rather, the copy Shang Qinghua made of the delicate original map) takes them to a green and grey landscape of leafy trees crawling over a wide network of tall cliffs and deep gorges. Gurgling rivers cut through twisting rock formations. Shang Qinghua can’t see any of these rivers on the map. Or these deathly drop ravines. From the outside, the whole thing looks like a natural maze (holy shit, there could be so many monsters and death-traps in there!), and Shang Qinghua would know those golden robes flying low over the hanging trees anywhere.

“Huan Hua,” Liu Qingge mutters.

“Do you think they’re looking for what we’re looking for?” Luo Fanli asks.

“That’s usually how it goes,” Peerless Cucumber says, before Shang Qinghua can.

AN: I came up with the skeleton idea first. Then I was like... “I should give it three eyes.” And then I was like... “But who IS this dead author? A god? A spirit? What grander implications am I spinning here?”

And THEN I remembered that I had some ambiguous powerful being force the Garden Master into exile due to a flood. This was because, in the Epic of Gilgamesh, the immortal man Gilgamesh meets in the abyss is the survivor of a great flood. So I was like, “Reduce! Re-use! Recycle! There’s my skeleton!”

So I wanted to relate the skeleton to water because of the flood angle. Water as a symbol of cleansing/reincarnation is a big thing throughout many cultures. I can’t remember exactly how the crying aspect came up, but I knew there was going to be water in the temple now, so at some point my brain like was, “Bro, this skeleton should totally be crying because mythology vibes.”

So I built the surrounding land off the idea that there was water flowing from or around this temple. At this point, I had decided that Huan Hua Palace should also be looking for this artifact, so I had to come up with a way to hide the temple, yet have a way for SQH’s party to track it down.

The damage to the doors is worse: someone once upon a time collapsed a part of the cliff face around the entrance, essentially leaving only the top fourth of the utterly smashed stone doors visible. It’s a wall now and has been for ages. It looks like it would take days to dig through the rubble. Someone has even super helpfully carved, “These doors will never open again,” just above the wreck.

“Guess we’ll have to go in as intruders rather than guests!” Luo Fanli says.

“What would be welcoming us inside a lost temple exactly?” Shang Qinghua asks vaguely, inwardly cursing the fact that explosive mining techniques will definitely attract the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators’ attention and also probably collapse the whole cliff on them.

“We only have to clear a passage for us, not the whole door,” Peerless Cucumber says optimistically. “Is there a special technique for this kind of thing?”

“Aha, not really.”

“Oh.”

“Why don’t we just keep following the water?” Luo Fanli says.

“...How so?” Shang Qinghua asks.

“Some of those waterfalls could be passages inside,” Liu Qingge explains, because he and the little sister-in-law apparently share the same brain. He’s already eyeing the waterfall wearing down the giant statue on the left.

AN: Temples in quests need to have traps and obstacles and monsters! Well, not ALL of the did, but this one did. I based the obstacles they faced as much as I could around the whole “Death of the Author” theme, while using this whole quest to explore Shen Yuan, Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua, Shang Qinghua and Liu Qingge and Luo Fanli, and so on.

The idea here with the door is that the “author” is not going to let them inside the temple to take the interpretation of the narrative (the Eye) for themselves. The story is over (the temple is closed for business)! The author is dead! If they want to get inside, they have to break inside or slip inside as intruders.

This also creates a convenient obstacle to hold up the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators so that our party can be nearly caught later! And shows off Shang Qinghua, Liu Qingge, and Luo Fanli’s twisty lines of thinking.

Luo Fanli is holding the light and Shang Qinghua passes the other transmigrator to her, while accepting Liu Qingge’s hand for help getting out of the water.

“Ahhh, that was fun,” Shang Qinghua mutters.

Then he notices that Liu Qingge has the Cheng Luan sword out and ready. Shang Qinghua looks through the surrounding darkness, but all he can see are columns and water. For a moment, he thinks he sees something, a prowling shadow at the other end of the cavernous room, but he wipes the water out of his eyes and it’s gone.

AN: The water in Shang Qinghua’s eyes briefly lets him see a flash of the invisible monsters who show up later! It helps up the tension.

Another low growl rips through the darkness and Peerless Cucumber shuffles a little closer to Shang Qinghua. Because that sounded really fucking close and yet Shang Qinghua still can’t see the thing that’s making that sound.

He doesn’t see Liu Qingge lunge at him either. He only feels his brother-in-law shove him into Peerless Cucumber, knocking them into the water, out of the way of something that howls when Liu Qingge slashes at it with his sword. Shang Qinghua rolls off Peerless Cucumber and looks up just in time to see dark blood splatter across the watery floor. Liu Qingge pursues the attacker with a second slash, but only seems to meet thin air this time.

“It’s invisible!” Luo Fanli cries. “Fuck!”

“Behind you!” Liu Qingge snaps, and spins to slash at the thin air beside him. Dark droplets of blood hit the water again and something hisses at him.

Luo Fanli whirls and slashes, searching for an opponent.

“They’re reflected in the water!” Liu Qingge yells at her, standing guard over Shang Qinghua as he gets to his feet again. “Listen for their footsteps and vocalizations! Feel the demonic energy and air displacement!”

AN: I got this from a list of Dungeons and Dragons puzzles. The idea is that there’s some puzzle that must be solved, but the truth of the room can only be seen in the reflection of the nearby water (or mirror or whatever).

Which felt fitting for a “Death of the Author” quest! Whatever an author’s intentions, the story is what they actually wrote, so the audience interprets a text without the context of the author’s insight. The truth (of the story) is in the reflection (audience interpretation)! It felt like a fun idea.

It also allows Shen Yuan to actually contribute to the quest via monster lore and bring up his impaired vision problem. And to confront Shen Yuan with the reality of this world. And to show off Luo Fanli’s fighting skills. And to show off LIU QINGGE’S legendary fighting skills, instincts as a warrior who fights many dangerous beasts, and the fact that he’s clever and observant!

Liu Qingge is good at what he does! And this is what he does!

Someone has… angrily… or desperately… carved a lopsided message into the wall.

“‘If I go blind, so does the world,’” Peerless Cucumber reads.

“...That’s probably not good,” Shang Qinghua says.

“Nooo…” Fanli agrees.

The messages continue as they climb, carved into the walls, the ceilings, the floors. Most of it is illegible. Some of it is just nonsense. Some of it looks like the same kind of historical records carved into the broken tablets. Some of it looks like someone attacked the walls after reading what was written there. There are deep gouges in the walls and cracked marks that would match a giant’s hands.

“‘The water cleans the lies,’” Peerless Cucumber reads. “‘I am the only one who can see.’ ‘Lies everywhere, lies everywhere, lies everywhere.’ ‘The water cleans the evil.’ ‘I do not have enough tears.’ ‘Everything is nothing now. Everything in vain.’”

“You really don’t need to read them!” Shang Qinghua tells the kid. “It’s fine. It's totally fine.”

AN: This is mostly here to up the tension, but it’s also here to try and give insight into this being and relate them more to the “Death of the Author” and the “Seeing is Believing” themes.

I also saw the phrase “If I go blind, so does the world” while I was browsing a list of riddles for D&D campaigns and I was like, “THAT’S SICK, I’M USING THAT.” Really brings the “an eye for an eye” and vengeance vibes. (The riddle was longer than that one phrase, but the answer was “the sun”.)

The top of the temple reveals one massive room that looks like someone was alternatively scratching their insanity into the walls and tearing chunks out of the interior design with their bare hands. Overtop of the rubble is that eerie overgrowth. There’s a fine layer of water over the floor. At the center of it all is an incredibly enormous desk, cracked in half, with a robed skeleton sitting behind it, slumped over the top. It’s a little too large to be an ordinary human.

Plus, its skull is a little too long, probably to accommodate the third eye socket in the forehead. There’s something gleaming softly yellow in the third eye socket.

“Is… there water dripping from its eyes?” Luo Fanli whispers.

“It looks like it…” Peerless Cucumber whispers back. “Like it's crying…?”

“Still…? Is it dead or not?”

“Holy shit,” Shang Qinghua thinks, slightly nauseated. “System, bro, the worst bro I’ve ever known, tell me that we have not been swimming in a three-eyed skeleton’s magical undead tears or something this whole time.”

The shitty, no-good System stays unsurprisingly silent.

AN: Okay, so the idea here is that this being was someone who recorded history and shared their knowledge freely. This being had the ability to discern the truth of a person - they were extremely perceptive. (The Weeper is either female or doesn’t have a gender, by the way.)

The Weeper met the Garden Master at some point. The Garden Master was an asshole, a liar, arrogant, etc.. The Weeper and the Garden Master clashed badly, until the Weeper sent the cleansing flood that nearly destroyed the sect and the Garden Master essentially had to flee to a personal abyss.

The Garden Master sent the plant as a final “fuck you” to the Weeper. The plant caused the Weeper to slowly go mad. The smashed tablets and destroyed temple are the Weeper’s work. The Weeper (not in a great state of mind) had the temple closed themselves once they realized they and their work had been corrupted. This was a “you destroy my (embellished) reputation, I destroy yours (and your entire life)” plot by the Garden Master.

The idea behind the tears is the whole “water is cleansing” thing. The Weeper tried to clean away the madness using their magical water-related abilities... and it actually worked for a long time. But eventually the madness began to overpower the effects of the magical water. The Weeper’s tears are from frustration and helplessness at losing control.

The water inside the temple combats the plant’s physical effects. Also stabbing the root killed the plant and essentially broke its mental/spiritual powers.

Unfortunately, to get the fuck out of here, they have to go back through the temple. But hey! That’s still a lot better than an extended hike through an underground, haunted desert in darkness! The battle with the now-dead plant caused its growth to writhe around the temple. The vines need to be hacked through sometimes as they travel down through the rooms of broken shelves and shattered tablets.

“So much history lost…” Peerless Cucumber murmurs.

“He still thinks of himself as a reader - an observer, a visitor, separate from the flow of fate.”

AN: This is... absolutely based on the Heart from the Dishonored franchise. But this sort of item didn’t originate with Dishonored and I need it! It’s a surprise/mystery tool that will help us later!

The Eye isn’t exactly a mind-reading object. I mean, it kind of is, but it works in a very specific way that I’m looking forward to getting into.

From there, their path back out of the natural maze is even more careful and stressful than before, now that the Huan Hua Palace Sect cultivators are actively looking for them rather than the temple. It’s slow-going and stressful and silent, except for when the Weeper’s Eye presses too close against his chest.

“He is afraid that if he starts screaming, he will never stop,” it tells him, when he’s looking at a pale-faced Peerless Cucumber, as they fly over a particularly deathly-looking drop.

“Oh, me too, bro!” Shang Qinghua thinks. “Seriously! Tell me something I don’t know!”

AN: Having Shang Qinghua be totally unimpressed by an object like this was very funny to me. He’s the author! He’s a transmigrator! He knows these people well! He already has insight into their situations.

Shang Qinghua groans, but supposes that Peerless Cucumber would have at least been disguising Liu Qingge from the back. “You tell them that you were tracking thieves who stole something from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect,” he says quickly. “Rule of embarrassment! Admitting something that makes us look bad to a rival makes it sound true. Don’t tell them what was stolen and act really offended if they try to poke into Cang Qiong business. I’ll come back as soon as I get these two out!”

Liu Qingge nods and launches forward into the fight.

“We’re just leaving him?” Peerless Cucumber says, as they do exactly that.

“I’ll get changed and come back ‘looking for him for urgent sect business’ as soon as I’ve dropped you two off in the last town,” Shang Qinghua says. “I’m really good at acting stressed and confused, and at desperately needing an unstoppable wandering Liu Qingge back at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect immediately. Now let’s go! Let’s go! Mission isn’t over yet!”

AN: Shang Qinghua is, at heart, a liar. I love him.

#tossawary updates #tossawary svsss #pride is not the word #tossawary commentary

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skellebonez · 3 years

Note

You write Tang and Red's dynamic so well! Could I ask for more Tang being a wholesome dad to Red with 7 please?

Tang and TLT Red are really interesting to write like this, I could write 500 prompts of them interacting! I decided to go slightly farther back in the timeline for this one. Like. VERY far back in the timeline. So far back this is how Tang decided he was dad now back.

I am apparently incapable of not writing things that are nearly full length fics right now. This is as long as a chapter of SFAUT.

“Do you need anything else?”

The new routine... or was it a habit? Both? Whatever it was,Tang had decided it was alright, despite the fact it had first started out of a mixture of suspicion and curiosity. How could it not have, with one of the first and most stubbornly determined enemies that had been fighting MK showed up at Pigsy’s Noodle’s after hours with two Bull Clones holding onto the side of his truck, haphazardly packed with boxes they could see through the windows and holding an injured arm?

“As of 6 hours ago I am no longer assisting my parents” was the explanation Red Son had given, short and to the point, when they had all raised their weapons (makeshift in the case of himself and Pigsy) at the sight. No one had believed him at the time, but apparently something made MK stop the demon when he made to leave without another word.

----------

“What do you mean? Why the boxes?” MK asked, gripping onto the back of the demon’s coat. He let go and shrunk his staff when he tugged at it and Red Son took in a sharp breathe of pain. Clearly he didn’t think Red Son was a threat with his injury, “What happened to your arm?”

“My shoulder was dislocated,” Red Son explained in shocking honesty at the last question, turning to look at the group once again in only slight hesitation. Tang realized that he looked... tired. His eyes were red and irritated, it reminded him of how MK’s eyes looked when Pigsy first taught him how to cook and he got a face full of hot broth steam in them. “There was a... complication with some demons that wished to do business with my parents. They have been dealt with.” Tang did not miss how MK’s eyes widened in realization. He must have known was Red was referring to.

“Shouldn’t that be in a sling?” Tang asked without thinking, earning a tight glare from Pigsy and Mei as he lowered the bowl he was brandishing back to the countertop. “What? It’s what you’re supposed to do!” Something was... off. Tang didn’t know what, but something didn’t feel right about this. And not in a ‘this is secretly a trap’ kind of way.

Red Son looked at him oddly, then back down as the arm he cradled in his uninjured one before addressing MK again with an aggravated sigh. “I supposed you’ll find out eventually, you’re persistent like that. I have a... safe house, I suppose you’d call it, hidden away in the mountains far outside the city. Not even my parents know about it. I’m going to stay there. I suppose you could consider me defected to your side from now on, should a large enough problem arise.”

“Did something happen with your parents?” Tang asked, taking a step forward with a raised eyebrow and ignoring the yells of “what are you doin have you lost your marbles!?” from Pigsy and the shocked look from Mei.

The odd look was back on Red’s face, mixed with surprise and anger this time. “NO.”

“Because people usually don’t run off to a safe house their family doesn’t know about and defect to the other side of a conflict unless something happened.” Tang emphasized each of the most important parts of his accusation carefully, hoping that at least MK would pick up on what he was hinting at. The silence behind him told him Pigsy seemed to. “Especially with not a truck packed with what looks like everything they own, and double especially when they take the time to stop to visit someone they hate to tell them goodbye.”

“It-!” Red started to snap, a shaky sigh leaving him as he calmed himself. “It’s none of your concern.”

“Did your parents hurt you?” MK asked softly, a smattering of horror under-toning his words and tang could head Mei choke back a noise behind them. It wasn’t an angry one, and definitely wasn’t happy. Pigsy remained quiet.

“NO!” Red snapped with his hair ablaze as he turned back to MK, hissing in pain as he jostled his arm. “They wouldn’t-! They-! Not... not like that.” His temper and and hair and voice fizzled out like someone dumping a bucket of water on a campfire and Tang did not miss the implications of those words, whether Red had meant to let them slip past or not.

“You need medical attention,” Tang stated, putting his hand on Red Son’s good shoulder gently. Red Son tensed under his touch. “I cannot in good conscious let you leave without that at least, especially not if you’re telling the truth about not fighting us anymore.”

“Why?” Red asked, odd look back. Tang realized it was confusion. “I know I just said I’m not your enemy, but why are you offering to help me?”

“Because I want to.”

----------

Exactly WHY that managed to work, Tang still didn’t know. But for some reason his words seemed to have struck a chord with Red Son and he agreed to have his Bull Clone driver follow them (them being MK, Mei, and Tang as Pigsy still had to manage the Noodle Shop) to the secret base (or the Sea-Crate HQ) at Sandy’s.

Sandy was shockingly understanding, welcoming him onto his boat for treatment with just the barest explanation. It probably helped that half of Sandy’s cats immediately flocked to the fire demon to run against his legs and his only reaction to them was a hesitant look down as he tried not to step on them.

Red was unusually quiet the entire time, as if he was trying to understand what exactly was happening around him. Mei tried to make snide remarks to get a rise out of him, to just growls and glowers. MK tried to talk to him about anything, mostly Monkey King related questions, but again he got the same reaction. Mei eventually changed her tactic to talking about tech and that got at least some responses from Red. Eventually they just watched as Sandy patched the demon up and all of his cats piled on top of him to the confusion and amusement to everyone.

It wasn’t until Sandy had properly patched Red up that Tang suggested he just stay at the base for the night instead of heading out that everyone not named Red Son seemed to realize what Tang’s real plan was.

Keep Red Son close just in case. Tang did not think Red was lying, not in the slightest. He was acting too off for this to be an act. But he knew that not everyone on Team MK would agree with him. After all, it was easier to keep an eye on your enemy if he was right next to you. But Tang did not think he was lying. Tang thought he needed help.

He seemed at least somewhat impressed by the base but didn’t really say much. Sandy had brought up the important question of “what if DBK and PIF find out you are here?”, to which Red explained that if they discovered he was there they wouldn’t just storm the place and drag him home given demon customs and the like. Using the safe house instead of his penthouse (and wasn’t it a trip to learn he had a penthouse) was more for him to not have to deal with their attempts for as long as possible.

MK and Mei had jokingly told him he owed them for letting him stay and while their reaction to him agreeing to pay them back whatever they liked was amusing, it made Tang wonder exactly what kind of situations Red Son was used to. Where he would have to pay everything done for him back. He seemed to accept their rebuttal that he just needed to promise not to light anything on fire easily enough.

“Do you need anything else?” was his final question to Red before they left him be, trusting the security system and Sandy (and the ocean) to handle anything that may come up. He placed a hesitant hand on Red’s head, something he did for MK and something he hoped would not offend Red Son. He felt the heat of the fire that would flare up his hair. He could feel it fluctuate, heating and cooling and heating again in response to something. Fascination couldn’t be erased from Tang’s face.

Red looked at him with that odd confused look again and said. “No... but... thank you?”

Red Son announced in the morning that he would be staying and would join Team MK.

----------

“Do you need anything else?” Tang asked, placing his hand on Red’s head. This had become... something. Something he just did whenever he could. A way to gauge how Red was feeling and a way to show him he trusted him given how easily his hair flared up. As well as a way to show he did care. They ended the day the same way every time, the question and the gesture one after the other.

“No, but thank you,” was the reflexive response from the fire demon. It was said so much easier now, so much more honestly. Sometimes he would answer with an affirmative, long ago hesitant but now just as easy as saying the sky was blue.

Tang couldn’t have been more proud of Red Son. He was still the proud and loud and showoff-y and fiery tempered demon he always was, but he was also trying to show he wanted to change. Wanted to be a hero now. Red was still unsure of a lot, but he seemed to be molding himself into the entire team well. Even Pigsy had quickly taken a shine to him after he offered to fix his kitchen appliances!

Tang also did not miss how he was starting to forget to call him Mr. Tang now, at very rare times. Whether it was because of MK calling him something else or just how Red Son felt, the scholar wasn’t sure. But hearing Red Son stop and correct himself with a “thanks d-MR. tANG!” was also something. Tang had decided that was alright as well.

DBK, on the other hand, didn’t seem to think it was given his reaction in that last fight when that happened. But Tang couldn’t rightly care what he had to say about it.

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oppabimbab · 4 years

Text

if second chance exists | jeon jungkook

genre : heavy angst, fluff, break up, heart break, smut

starring : jungkook x reader

synopsis : you met him again after 365 days of being apart. nothing has changed except the fact that you and him are no longer together. the same wound, it is ripped open again when you realised you’re still deep in love with that man.

words count : 11k words

side note: this is another remake fics from original jinyoung’s fics. some people said they’ve got a good cry from this one so i changed the characters to fit the bts’s version. also, sorry for any errors and grammar mistakes.

You look at the huge building right in front of your eyes. That is a hella huge one and you’re not sure why you are here.

“Seulgi, I don’t think this is right,” you speak to her as she is adjusting her short dress along with her wavy hair. She looks way hotter than you’d expected but that’s not what matters now because you don’t feel like coming in.

Well, you don’t remember how did you agreed to your best friend to go to this party? Maybe when you were drunk? You’re not really sure.

But, now you’re here with a small nude dress wrapping around your curvy figure. Soft yet bold make up plasters all over your beautiful face. That shoulder-length hair compliments your face even more with its messy curl. That was all Seulgi’s touch—Well, she is a stylist.

Seulgi raises an eyebrow and looks you from head to toe.

“Babe, you look good and eatable. You need to show this to them. It’s a masterpiece,” she touches your hair a little, to make you look hotter than ever. You scoff at her remarks.

“Yeah sure. It’s Miss Seulgi’s masterpiece, everyone,” you mock her and she chuckles.

It’s Nayeon’s bachelor party. It’s been years since you left college which means you pretty much have lost the contacts with most of your ex group mates, classmates or whatever it is. But, Nayeon is one of those people who surprisingly still keeps in contact with you. You aren’t that close with her but Seulgi is. She happens to get married by this week and since she is pretty close to Seulgi, she took the chance to send the invitation to her and you. You definitely know Nayeon. Not that familiar but you know who she is and she knows who you are. That’s enough.

“Come on. Tonight will be fun, I promise you. She only invites fun people and we are that fun people. Besides, you need to get a life. Find a dick,” she winks, swiping her red lipstick across her thin lips before smacking it. You look at her, pretty grossed.

“No dick. I come here for beer and good food,” you shake your head and without any notice, you walk to the entrance, leaving Seulgi behind. She yells in protest.

***

When both of you come inside, you’re overwhelmed by how good the decorations are. It’s far from what you’d expected. Well, you’d imagined a very wild party since it’s called young-hot-bachelor party like everyone claims but every parts of the decorations scream softness. It looks like a tea party you would go with your close neighbour.

Which is a good thing.

“Hey, do you think we are in the right place?” Seulgi whispers at you and you immediately get what she means.

Your dress—short dress. It doesn’t look appropriate considered how this hall is decorated with. You hide a smile.

Before you could say anything, you see someone from afar. He looks familiar. As hell. It takes you fpr few seconds to process before you get the real image.

Namjoon. Kim Fucking Namjoon. What is he doing here? You immediately tilt your body to Seulgi, causing her to be confused at your sudden gesture. She looks around and you heard her small gasps.

“Gosh, It’s Namjoon,” she says, sounds half excited and half panic. Not sure which one is more dominant but you don’t care. You don’t want to meet him. Fuck.

Few seconds later, Seulgi sounds panic.

“Hey, He is coming to us,” Seulgi whispers, tapping your arms softly but you remain freeze. Damn it. Of course, that guy would see them. Seulgi just can’t shut up and look away. Now, you have no choice but to meet him again after God-knows-how long has it been.

You clear your throat and look back at his direction. Yes, he is coming. You fake a surprise on your face. This is not a good idea. Seulgi immediately excuses herself.

“Hey, is that you? Is that really you?” he immediately speaks up to you the moment he stands right front your eyes. He looks handsome as he was before. Tall, bulk, smelled like fresh cologne and sweet smile. Perfect words to describe him. You smile at him.

“Namjoon? It’s really you,” you’re not really sure what scares you the most but the sight of him or the other boys make you feel like running away. Not really but some kind of.

Namjoon is your ex-boyfriend’s friend— Of course, looking at him reminds you so much about your ex.

Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.

Namjoon flashes his charming smile.

“I don’t know you would be here. I mean, it’s been a long time since I saw you,” he utters. You nod. Indeed. It’s been a long time. Perhaps, a year? You crack a soft smile before you could hear another familiar thing.

Seokjin’s and Jimin’s laughter. You bring your eyes to the side, not too far from you and Namjoon.

5 of the boys are there. You gape at the view. Namjoon would be here, it didn’t surprised you but all of the boys? You start to feel panic. What if...What if he is coming too?

But, for some reason, the sight of them boys remind you of old day. Good old days.

You were waiting outside the studio while looking at the night sky. It looked oddly brighter than previous days but you weren’t complaining. You liked night sky. Jungkook liked night sky too.

Before you could do anything, you heard footsteps coming from the studio and the sound of door clicking. You tilted your head and looked at the direction.

It was Jungkook. When he had his eyes on you, he couldn’t help but smiled a little. Or more.

“Hi, sorry to make you wait,” he spoke with a boyish look all over his face before shutting the door closed.

“No, it’s fine. I came here just to see you for a while,” you said, not breaking your eyes off him as he walked closer to you. It was crazy because the butterflies in your stomach felt like they were growing each time the distance between you and him disappeared.

Jungkook is a composer. A rookie one. He has been wanting to be a music person whether it’s a composer, lyricist or an idol. He really wanted to be one of them but Jungkook knew he was too old to be an idol now.

Everything was still new. A fresh new.

Sometimes, you would find yourself coming to the studio just to see him and his work even it got little awkward when the studio was filled with boys— the 6 chaotic boys. At times, the studio is part of you even you have nothing to do with it.

You were a graphic designer. Also, a rookie one. You loved doing graphic things, you loved creating something pretty according to your imagination. You loved everything about your dream and it finally came true.

And the best part, you didn’t know you would share it with him. Your boyfriend for 2 years.

“The boys wanted you to stay for a while. We are having small party for Taehyung,” Jungkook casually wrapped his warm big hand around yours. It’s getting colder these days.

You raised an eyebrow at his reNamjoons.

“Oh, is it his birthday? I’m sorry I stole you from them,” you said and he grinned widely. He knew you were joking.

“You know it’s not. I don’t know, they just wanted to throw a party. I’ve told them I’m staying with you tonight,”

You nodded with a small smile. You could feel his gaze on you despite the dim light didn’t do any justice to the sight. You looked up to find his eyes before scooted closer to him as you guys walked through the quiet neighbourhood.

Hand in hand.

It was 10 pm but the neighbourhood seemed quieter and colder than anything.

“Jungkook,” you called him and he replied with a hum.

“Remember when you asked me about my favourite thing about you?”

He glanced at you with a raised brow.

“I like your smell,” you added before bringing yourself to him and smelled his scent that you loved the most. You weren’t very sure how he smelt like. It was nothing like strong perfume or deodorant, definitely not that. He smelled like it’s him.

Jungkook laughed out loud, a hearty one. His laughter filled the entire of small space around them. One thing about him— he always covered his mouth when he laughed while he has the best teeth and smile you ever seen. His laugh sounds genuine and full, like he meant it. For real, you loved it when he laughed.

“What? My smell? What does that supposed to mean?” he said between laugh before shaking his head, refraining himself from laughing too much in this quiet alley. You pouted and slapped his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious. I love that part of you. You smell like...” you stopped to find the right words to describe how he smelled like. Honestly, you didn’t know. It’s not a perfume, deodorant or anything else. Jungkook hid his smile while staring at your confused face. Patiently waiting for you to say how it smelled like because he was curious too.

“Home,” you spoke and it received another hearty laughter from him. His chest is pounding as his whole body vibrating, amused at your answer. You find it annoying but then you find yourself laughing along with him.

“I love it how you learnt so much from my flirty ass. You’re so good at this now,” he pulled you closer and took your hand inside his thick hoodie’s pocket. You can feel his thumb rubbed your knuckle in that small pocket that surprisingly could fit both of your and his hands.

You stole a glance at him and you met his eyes. No words can describe how much love you had for this man. It has been 2 years of dating but how the hell you still feel the same butterflies like it was your first date? Saying how he was perfect was an understatement because he is more than that. You sent him your signature smile that he once told it was his weakness.

He frowned.

“No, no. Don’t give me that look. I know what you’re trying to do,” he moved his finger, stopping you from smiling that way but you didn’t care. You know he loved it anyway. Jungkook quickly covered his eyes with his other hand while shaking his head. You giggled at his gesture before taking his hand off his eyes.

“Babe, carry me on your back,” you whined before pulling your hand from his pocket and stand behind him. Jungkook chuckled at your sudden hyper mood tonight.

“What are you? 2 years old?”

You grinned and hopped on his back before wrapping your legs around his waist and resting your chin on his shoulder. Nothing feels safer than his embrace.

“Come on! You love me!” you screamed like a little kid before both of you were bursted into laughter. A happy one.

“Hey? Are you okay?” Namjoon snaps.

You immediately get your sense back the moment you heard his voice in your mind. What was that? Memories from a year ago?

“Ah yes. Sorry, I was spacing out. What did you say?” you nod and chuckle nervously even you know there is an awkwardness plasters all over your face. Namjoon looks at you, worried.

“Uhm, if you don’t mind, you can join us. You know, even we don’t talk as much as before but we always welcome you. The boys sure love to see you again,” he utters and for some reason, those simple words really do something to your heart. It’s somehow lovely yet aching to the point you don’t know how to actually react to it.

The boys know what happened to you and Jungkook. When your relationship ended, you find yourself getting distant from the boys. Well, there is a logic in it. You have lost Jungkook, of course you’re going to lose everything around him. Including yourself.

You rub your arm softly and nod.

“Sure. I’ll see you guys later. I need something to do,” you say and Namjoon’s face lights up as you agreed. Namjoon has been always be that person whom you refer to the most during that old days. He is a quiet and responsible person despite surrounded by those dorky and goofy bunch of boys.

You excuse yourself to go anywhere but stop when he calls your name again.

“You look great. Like you always do,” he says with a sincere smile. Your heart lifts at his words.

“You too, Namjoon,” you reply.

The next second, you find yourself in a toilet while staring at your face. After 365 days or more, you’re now in the same place with those familiar faces.

How odd it is? You don’t know why you would feel this anxious but seeing them is like seeing him. You remember watching him play and grow with those guys who used to witness your relationship with him.

Now, his image comes into your mind and you can’t erase it. Or to be exact, he never left yours.

You lean against the wall when a sudden sadness comes and fills your entire body. It’s sure the worst thing at this moment when you should enjoy yourself. At least. Of course, you wouldn’t want to look awkward and dull in front of Nayeon, the soon-to-be bride. No fucking way.

You take out the wedding invitation from the small purse you have been carrying. The small card with few fonts on it reminds you of something. Something painfully sweet.

It was 6pm. The sky looked like the mixture of deep orange and dark purple which gave you an excitement at the sight. Just like how you usually did, you took out the device from the pocket and snapped a few pictures of the sky. When they turned out to be just like you wanted, you smiled happily.

Sky at the beach looked majestic, didn’t they?

Without actually noticed, Jungkook has been staring at you.

“Babe, there are thousands picture of skies in your phone,” he said, almost judging you.

It was just another day where you would attend one of his close friend’s wedding which was something very common for you to do. Jungkook loved bringing you to any event or gathering every time he had the chance to do so. You weren’t complaining at all. You liked it when that proud grin plastered all over his face when he introduced you as his girl. You loved it when he would casually pulled you closer to his side, just to make sure you were there—with him.

That kind of security you couldn’t find on anyone else but him.

“What do you mean? The skies are different each days,” you protested with frown as you scrolled down the pictures you have taken. You know Jungkook was staring at you but you ignored it anyway.

“They looked the same,” he shrugged. The steady wave made the cold water splashed on your feet as both of you guys walking along the beach. The beach was oddly quiet and empty, probably because it was almost night.

“Alright, sir,” you keep the phone in your pocket and nodded, teasing him before you walked freely, leaving him few steps behind. You looked at the sea and inhaled the smell--your favourite scent after Jungkook’s.

“This is so good. Life is good,” you said as your eyes strike to the sun that was setting, leaving the place almost got dark. The beautiful orange with a hint of black looked like it was straight from movie.

It was weird. Every time you came here, it made you feel like everything is good. Yeah good. The serenity.

As the water splashed, Jungkook came to your side.

“Full of positivity. I love it,” he said and you looked up to him and see that smile you have been loving since day 1. His skin was glowing. His eyes were sparkling.

“Ocean makes you become positive. I don’t know why,” you spoke and he giggled while nodding. Probably agreed to what you said.

“Now I know why some people held wedding here. It’s just gorgeous,” his honeyed voice echoed.

“I want ours to be held here. Or anywhere as long as there is a beach,” he added and for some reason, you saw that coming. Your boyfriend has been vocal when it comes to wedding or simply said—marriage. You weren’t sure when did it start but he always talked about getting married, having so many kids you don’t know how are you going to carry it with that petite figure of yours.

You find it was interesting and amusing when he didn’t hesitant to talk about these topics when most of men around you were very skeptical.

You looked up at him and giggled.

“I don’t want it,”

A frown appeared on his forehead. Not confused but amused when he didn’t get the expected answer from you.

“Why? Beach is your best friend,” he said with a straight face. His plump lips looked more significant when he pouted. Let alone those doe eyes, they made you became a jelly in just a blink of eyes.

“I don’t want my dress to get wet. you’re unstoppable you know? Remember when you pulled me into the water the last time we went to the beach when I freakin just got my hair done?” you glared at him, shaking your head at the memory. Jungkook was a sweetheart but he immediately became a devil when it comes to teasing you.

He raised his eyebrow while looking at you, quite impressed at how your mind could bring that memory from few months ago.

“It wasn’t my fault. You looked intimidating that day. Plus, you buried me in the sand with those crappy crabs remember? We both are an evil, it’s a win win situation,” a small chuckle left his mouth as he softly digging the sand with his toe. It definitely brought back the memories from 4 months ago.

“But, you did it first!” you whined like a baby girl. Jungkook can be really annoying sometimes. He looked soft and gentle but sometimes, an evil. He grinned at your frowned face and pouty lips, making you sent another glare to him.

He bent down.

“Did what?” he asked.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?” you scoffed at his mischievous side and that made him grin got wider, plastered all over his handsome face. You wondered, what exactly in his mind?

Eyes rolled as you took a step to continue walk along the shore before you felt a sudden cold on your back. You gaped before turning back. To be exact, to Jungkook. Just like you imagined, he wore that innocent smile.

“Like this?”

“Babe! What did you do? Stop!!” you almost screamed while shuddering at the cold water on your back. Jungkook did the same thing. He knew you would scream like an annoying little girl. He knew how you hated cold water but he did it anyway.

He chuckled before scooping the sea water with his hands and sprinkled it to you. Another whine came out from your mouth.

“Come here!! You’re a freaking dead!!” you screamed while doing the same thing like he did before he ran away from you. You giggled and screamed, speeding to catch him with your hands. He was definitely a dead meat.

His sweet raspy laughter and your chaotic scream filled the entire beach. It was lovely.

You smile at the thought. It’s crazy how some scent, certain gesture could remind you of something that happened like years ago. Your eyes are locked on the wedding invitation and slowly, the smile fades from your lips, leaving you lost and devastated.

The 970 days you have spent with him weren’t short and weren’t that long either. You didn’t know time had passed that quickly, faster than you ever imagined. The relationship was beautiful—It’s hard to describe but it was indeed beautiful and amazing. He gave you something more than you ever expected—security. As you grew with him, he made you realised that love wasn’t enough. The security he gave you was something that built you. The trust and honesty he had showed to you were something that lifted you to become a person you’re now.

It’s funny to even think about it. When you were scattered into pieces; when you bawled your eyes every night, asking God to heal this wound in your heart. You were lost to the deepest bottom that you couldn’t even find yourself back. You knew you wouldn’t be found anymore because you had given everything but all they do was crushing you into million pieces.

All you wanted was to be loved.

And Jungkook found you. He looked into your eyes and knew you were lost. You were in pain. He brought you back to find yourself. You weren’t sure when did it started but eventually, you knew you were slowly giving that piece of your heart that was left, to him.

And he took it. Jungkook loved you. The way his skin touched yours, the way his eyes find yours, the way his lips collide against yours. You knew they were real. That was love. The love you both shared were beautiful. But, where is it now? Your chest is aching at the thoughts. It’s not here anymore.

You bring your gaze to the card.

His name could be here, on the invitation along with yours.

How lovely does it sound like?

A soft sigh leaves your mouth. You slowly put the card back into your purse before taking a deep breath and shaking your head to erase the thoughts. You’re not very keen to let these feelings to take over you. You’ve been spending months over this thing and sure today isn’t that day you would let yourself to do that. You need to forget it—even for a while.

Minutes passed and when you look at your phone, your eyes are widen. 10 missed call from Seulgi. You look at the watch around your wrist and you know why. You bet, Seulgi is mad.

You tighten the grip around the purse before leaving the toilet. You walk calmly to the hall and a sudden panic starts to get all over your system. Just like you imagined, it’s filled with so many guests you barely knew. You cursed at yourself since you’re an introvert so being this lost in this crowd sure isn’t a good thing. You stand at the side and try to look for Seulgi or maybe Nayeon before the purse you’re carrying is vibrating. You immediately pick up the phone call from Seulgi.

“Over here!” she shouts over the phone, causing you to put the phone away from your ear. For few seconds, you found Seulgi, waving to your direction while sitting in a table with Nayeon and few other people. You can’t see them clearly since your eyesight have worsen each day. You saw Seulgi, that’s pretty enough. You nod before slowly making your way to her in such a crowded place. Each steps you take towards her, the heavier your chest becomes. Something is not right and you’re not happy with it.

Few steps are taken and you’re here at the table. The timing isn’t good because when all of the gaze pointed on you, you found a very familiar one. That familiar gaze that you have lost. Your system has lost its track the moment you laid your eyes on him.

Jungkook is there.

Time seems like it’s freezing around you. You can’t feel your feet, not even your skin, the moment you saw that pair of eyes—that beautiful eyes. Your chest is trembling, not sure whether it’s a fear or love. Not sure. Is it a pain or comfort? Only God knows.

“Hey, where have you been?” Nayeon speaks after a short silence happened between them as you arrived. You flinch at her voice, as you look at every of them. The 6 boys, Seulgi, Nayeon, Sana and Jungkook. Her voice seems fading from your sense when Jungkook looks at you. His deep gaze strikes into you.

This is torturing.

“Uhm, I was in toilet. Yeah, I was in toilet,” you almost stutter when the words seem like it’s not coming from your throat. You smile at her before Seulgi pulls a chair for you to sit. You immediately take a seat beside her, across Jungkook. Nayeon grins and nods. The atmosphere feels odd and unfamiliar. You look at Seulgi and she sends you the “I know what you’re thinking” look with her eyes. There is no way she didn’t know or simply put, there is no way the boys didn’t know what’s in your mind right now.

“Well, since all of us have talked about our lives, it’s your turn now,” Nayeon pulls her chair to give a better view to you. You look at her and realise that all of them eyes are looking at you, waiting for your response. The earlier vision of Jungkook still makes you unfazed so you barely know how to actually react to it. Nayeon raise an eyebrow at you.

“What do I want to talk about?” you laugh nervously, tucking the hair strand behind your ear while adjusting the position on the chair. You can’t bring yourself to look at Jungkook who is sitting across you. You’re not sure if he is looking at you too but deep inside, this is killing you.

“What are you doing now? I heard you’re a designer,” Jimin breaks the silence as he immediately asks you about ‘how’s life going’ typical question. You look at Seulgi and she grins. You nod calmly.

“Yes but not really a designer. It has been only 6 months so I won’t call myself a designer yet,” you speak, trying so bad not to stutter or you will look stupid in front of them. You can feel your fingers are trembling as fuck so you hide it on your thigh.

They all look impressed.

“Come on, don’t be humble. You’re good at designing. Did you remember the logo you made for us back then?” Yoongi adds and all of the boys start to squeak as they remembered that ugly logo you made when you hang out with them. You slap Yoongi’s shoulder and they laugh.

“Don’t be hypocrite, Yoongi. That one looked like an ugly sock,” you chuckle as the memories come back to you. You were younger and unexperienced. They laugh at your remarks.

“Thanks god you finally realise. It’s tiring to pretend all these years,” Seokjin, the sassiest bitch speaks while flipping his coma hair. You send him a death glare while pouting like baby. Seokjin has been that clown who always teased you for nothing and you would fight with him. In another words, he is your partner in crime. You didn’t know you’ve missed it so much.

“Come on, it can’t be that ugly. Let me see,” Nayeon chuckles at the sudden chaos as she taps Hoseok’s shoulder. He nods before taking out his phone and starts browsing the gallery. You almost squeak.

“Yah, Hoseok. I’ll kill you if you do that,” you burst and immediately cover your mouth as you realised your usual self is coming out. It receives a squeal from the boys.

“Ayeee~ you had never changed. Bold and fierce, right Jungkook?” Taehyung, who is sitting beside Jungkook, suddenly nudging him on his arm. The pout and grin disappear on your face right after you realise what Taehyung did. The atmosphere changed in a blink of eyes as nobody says anything. Of course, all of them know what happened to you and him.

Sana slaps Taehyung’s shoulder softly before frowning at her boyfriend. He looks flustered. He probably realised that things have changed now. You and him are no longer together anymore. You suck on your lower lip, looking at anywhere but him.

“So, who wants to see the logo? The ugly sock like she said,” Namjoon breaks the silence as he claps, trying to get everyone’s attention and it receives a squeal and woo-ing from the boys. At the moment, you can feel your tighten chest has loosen up from the tension. That was close incident, you see Sana’s scolding Taehyung for it. You heave a sigh, this is really hard. Slowly, you get up.

“I’ll go get a drink. Anyone wants some?” you force a smile at them but receive no response before Seulgi raises her hand.

“Me, please,” she grins, sending the message through her eyes. You smile at her. She knows what you’re doing and she immediately tries to send you away to calm down. She knows how this indirect

tension between you and Jungkook being in the same table is torturing you. She knows you’re trembling under the table. She knows exactly how you feel and she wants you to take some fresh air. Seulgi is indeed a saviour.

You nod and excuse yourself, not looking back at the table, not their reactions.

It’s just few steps away before a woman comes to the table and it’s not anywhere but beside Jungkook.

“Sorry for the wait. I’ve got a phone call to make,” she speaks with a bright smile all over her flushed face. She looks like she was running a marathon when she seems catching a breath. You freeze on your feet and bring you gaze on her.

She is beautiful. Very beautiful. You can’t deny. Slender body, shiny black hair, flawless skin, almond-like eyes. Charming smile. What else?

“Ah, are you Jungkook’s friend? He talked about you earlier, have a seat,” Nayeon stands and bows at her before offering her to sit. She bows back politely. That sweet smile never leaves her face and it gets wider when she looks at Jungkook. That smile—that looks familiar. Suddenly, your chest thumps very hard, adrenaline starts to take over your body when you see Jungkook slowly brings her closer to him, making the gap between them disappear.

“Hi, I’m Rose. Jungkook’s girlfriend,” she introduces herself, taking the beautiful smile along with her words. A soft smile appears on his lips, a rare sight even from the first time you’ve seen him today. It’s rare.

You look at them and you definitely know—there is love. That smile, they’re wearing, a smile when you’re in love.

When your sense comes back, your heart aches. A lot.

Every minute are the biggest torture you’ve ever been in your life. How did things turn out to be like this? All you wanted is to have some fun here but God sure wouldn’t let you do that. Your mind left you immediately when you’ve realised he is here.

But, not alone— he comes with his girlfriend.

How awful does it sound like? To be in the same place with your ex, who has gotten happier more than you do?

You swallow the tiny bit of the croissants while scratching the steak on the plate with the fork. You’re not sure if the food tastes bad or you have lost your taste bud because every piece of them, taste bitter and awful in your throat.

The moment when you finally acknowledge where Rose stands in his life, you bring yourself to somewhere far from the table. None of these feel right to you and you don’t want to believe it either. It feels unreal and confusing. The more you have tried to process, the more you’re failing to find any words.

But, for sure, you definitely know one thing to describe this.

Heart ache.

You lean against the wall in the quiet alley, trying to process this new information. Chest thumps like it’s going to explode. Skin tickles like the electricity is running down your spine. Heart. It beats along with the pain, an unknown pain that have been stabbing you few moment ago.

You heave a small sigh while looking at the walls.

It’s weird. It’s weird when you’ve learned what is pain-- the moment you both have lost this relationship. You knew how exactly how pain feels like when he walked away from you and never seems to come back. You knew for real how heart break feels like when you woke up every morning with the heaviest cloud in your chest but he is still absent. He isn’t anywhere.

You knew it.

But, why does it hurt even more this time? It’s the same pain but why does it hurt a little bit more when you saw her, smiling at him—like you used to do back then? It hurts even more when he pulled her closer to his side—just how he would do to you.

It’s unfair. You finally recalled how bright her smile looks like—exactly how you looked like before. It’s unfair.

“Does the food taste good?” Nayeon asks out of sudden as you can feel a warm touch on your shoulder. You flinch a little, making the cutlery to fall down on the floor, causing them to look at you. You laugh nervously before bending down to take it back.

“Sure, it tastes amazing,” you smile at her then to her fiancé, Minho. Both of them look good. It would be cliche to say this but some people really are meant for each other because when you see them, they look beautiful. Minho apologises for your dirty spoon as he calls one of the helpers to get you a new one.

The next second, you feel the gazes are on you. Again.

“Rose, have you met her? She’s one of our close friends,” suddenly, Sana speaks to break the silence and you can’t help but feel a little nervous. You look at Sana before trailing your eyes to her—the beautiful woman across you. You see her eyes, they’re sparkling so effingly beautiful.

Of course, they had a welcome conversation with her when you were away to get your shit together. Of course, they have been laughing together as Jungkook introduced her as his girlfriend while you were stuck in the quiet alley, fighting these feelings—all by yourself.

Now, it’s your turn to let her know, who you are.

Rose’s mouth is opened slightly when she met your eyes. A soft smile appears on her lips as she sticks her hand out, to you. She wears that smile again.

“Hi, I’m Rose,” her unique voice fills the space around you. Her eyes are so bright, like it has nothing but sincere feelings. You nod before taking her hand, trying not to look awkward. You introduce yourself before both of you let go of each other’s hand.

You steal a glance at him.

He looks anywhere but you. Your heart clenches at the sight. Why does he make you feel like invisible and non-existent when you’re there, sharing the same place with him? You can’t deny when you feel like a big wall is climbing between you and him and you have no idea how to break it down. Immediately, you look away from him. Your heart feels like in pain.

“Jungkook talked a few things about you before. You indeed look beautiful in person,” she says, sending you her signature eye smile, which is making you lost at words.

He talked about you. How does it supposed to mean? Everyone at the table says nothing as they let both of you to talk and you’re so sure, they saw how obvious your face has changed the moment she said that.

When you see her soft expression, you immediately understand—Rose knew about you and Jungkook. She definitely knew about that.

You inhale some air before nodding. Part of you, is confused. If you ask yourself, you would feel jealous, awkward and intimidated if your boyfriend’s ex is there—basically eating in the same table with you.

But, the fact that she sounds cool and relaxed even she acknowledged the history you’ve shared with Jungkook, makes you wonder, why is that? Why does she sound so cool about that and why does it make your uneasy?

You look at her and she smiles at you, like nothing has happened. A sincere gesture and smile—she reminds you so much about him. A sudden tsunami of pain crashed all over you. Again, it takes you away from the reality.

You brought the cleaned cloth to the wet plate and wiped the residue off from the glass. It was Friday and you had nothing to do beside cleaning your new apartment since you took a day leave. It had been few hours since you began cleaning every part of the house without taking a rest. Probably, few minutes rest then you would drag your ass to continue whatever you left behind.

After the last plate, you heaved a sigh and glanced at the time on your phone. Almost 7pm but you still received no texts from Jungkook. Jungkook was out to work with the boys and he promised to text you when he already finished but when you received nothing, supposed he haven’t finished yet.

Leaving the phone on the kitchen counter, you brought yourself to the cabinet to put the plates and cutlery back to its place. You grunted when the cabinet was too high for you to reach with your short height and annoyed, you took a chair before you climbed on it.

Carefully, the plates were put slowly inside the wooden storage as you weighed yourself on the chair so it wouldn’t make you fall on the marble floor and break your chin. Of course, it would be a disaster if you have to spend your days in the hospital.

“Someone is wearing my clothes, again,” a raspy yet soft voice interrupted the silence in the kitchen and it made you jolted in surprise. Not to extent of overreacting but it definitely made you surprised. Where the hell that sound came from and why the hell Jungkook was standing there?

You cocked your head to him and there was him, leaning against the wall with arms crossed on his chest. He had an amused look all over his face, ignoring his fluffy hair that was covering his eyes. Jungkook looked up at you with a smile, probably waiting for you to respond.

“When did you come?” you frowned at him before you find yourself struggling to come down as the chair suddenly became wobbly and unstable. Reflexed, Jungkook came to get you off.

“Just now,” he said, still looking at you like a predator.

“Okay but should you surprise me like that? I could break my bones if I fall,” you mentioned about the earlier surprise. Your i’m-almost-annoyed mood changed when he grinned, showing off the cute wrinkle in the corner of his eyes.

“You’re overreacting. The chair is not that tall,” he pouted at you and you agreed. It wasn’t that tall actually but whatever, didn’t couple whine about littlest things?

You pinched his cheeks before turning your back at him to go to the counter to clean the table. Every step you were taking, you could feel your body was aching a lot from the work and all you wanted to do was get some bath and sleep.

“How’s the work?” you spoke as your hand went back and forth with the cloth, cleaning the residue on the counter. Jungkook hummed.

“Today was great. We met an agency to sign a contract with us but it’s not certain yet. Still in process,” his voice echoed from behind and you nodded at his remarks. Your lids were getting heavier.

“Wow, really? That’s great, baby. What’s the company name?” you said and almost yawned before you folded the wet cloth to finish what was left so you could get a fresh bath.

It was tiring but at least, you wanted to listen a sneak peek of Jungkook’s day before you could pamper yourself. Few seconds later, you have received no response from him, it made you stopped and turned your back to look at him.

Before you could do that, a familiar warmth collided against your skin on your back as his fresh cologne scent strike. It left you speechless for a moment when his firm arms snake around your waist, leaving you froze on the feet.

“Can we talk about those things later?” Jungkook buried his head on your shoulder and whispered with his raspy and melodious voice to your system. What was with the sudden move? You peeked at him across the shoulder.

“Alright but what are you doing?” you whispered back and out of sudden, he inhaled and nuzzled the scent from your neck, making you made a soft whimper. It got louder when he left a soft kisses along the neck. It wasn’t rough or rushed, instead, it was slow and romantic. Jungkook knew exactly where your weak spot was and when he found that, you couldn’t help but moaned. It felt surreal and amazing even your body was aching a lot.

“You look beautiful today. I can’t help,” he said between the kisses, making your skin vibrates along with the words that came out from his mouth. The next second, you find your skin tickled at the touch. It was hard to actually put into words but your fingertip tingled a lot when he touched you. Every part of your skin felt like they were on fire. A fierce fire.

“Jungkook, I’m tired,” you shuddered at the touch as he trailed his hand towards the hem of your shirt. That day, you wore nothing but only his oversize shirt that you stole from his closet. Not sure what came to your mind but you chose not to wear any panty or bra. It wasn’t usual of you but that day, it was different. For real, God must let you did that because of this.

“Hmm,” he hummed and it sent another electricity to you, again.

“Baby, I’ll be quick. I promise,” he groaned to your ears as he slid his hand inside the shirt and trailed his warm fingers lower to your abdomen. He knew what he was doing to your body and the way he played those fingers, it drove you crazy.

Your back arched and it made the gap between you and his chest became more significant. Jungkook noticed your body weakened at his touch so he trapped you between his veiny arms and let you hold on to them. You gripped on the cold surface of the counter while the other hand holding on around his wrist.

“Jin-Jungkook. Not today,” your voice almost disappeared when his hand had reached your core. He didn’t touch it but you could feel the heat coming from his big hand. The next second, you heard his small chuckle.

“Your mouth says no but your body says the opposite. Which one is dominant, baby?” he grunted as he pushed his hip closer to you and again, you bit the lower lip to refrain the moan from coming out. The huge bulge that was brushed in your inner thigh made you realised how turned on Jungkook was. He was turned on and when he did, you barely could say no.

He was a sexy beast.

“Spread your leg. Now,” he commanded.

You couldn’t catch a breath when his long and slender finger touched the clit of your core, the moment you spread your legs to give him an access. It moved in a perfect circle. It was in a gentle pace but it brought you to another world.

Moan filled the kitchen. Eyes were closed, mouth opened. There was nothing but erotic moan came out from your mouth.

“Ah~~Jungkook,” you panted along with his name. You wanted to pull his hand away because all you wanted to do was getting a fresh bath and rest but the more you tried to do that, the harder it became. His finger kept circling the bud as he nuzzling on your neck, kissing the sweet spot again and again. The sensation. It felt like a heaven.

“Still a no?” Jungkook grunted. You couldn’t respond to him. You couldn’t even think straight.

“Are you always this wet?” he added. As the words came out, his pace was getting faster, abusing the wet and swollen clit, giving you his endless ecstasy from his finger. It was crazy how his finger could make you feel this good. Jungkook then gave your exposed inner thigh a slow rub as he chanted how wet and turned on you were.

Eyes shut closed, your mouth was opened, moaning and whimpering his name, telling the world how good you were feeling. How good he made you feel.

His warm breath touched your neck. Breath hitched and weakened.

The next second, a familiar knot twirled inside your lower abdomen, for real, it gave more pleasure to all over your body. You screamed at Jungkook, telling him how close you were to your climax and just like how he usually did—he told you to give in.

“Let it go. Don’t hold back,” his sexy hoarse voice echoed and just like that, you find your juice was coming out from the core, wrapping his slender finger.

You immediately bent your upper body on the counter, getting yourself some air after almost being choked with your own saliva. How the hell you could breathe when he was abusing your clit? When he was kissing and biting your neck?

“You’re crazy,” you whispered at him, panting like crazy on the cold surface.

“I’m crazy for you,” Jungkook said when he eventually grabbed your hips and rubbed his throbbing member against your inner thigh. You yelped as it wasn’t clothed anymore but raw. It was big and hardened which is making your wet core, pooled again.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he cursed under his breath, without letting you to respond, he pushed his hip onto you and making his hardened member disappear inside you wet cunt. He didn’t let you to adjust to his size at all. You screamed at the sudden fill. Jungkook had been big from the first you had sex with him but this time, he felt really good.

Heavenly.

“Jungkook!!!” you screamed out loud, gripping onto his muscular arm tightly while supporting yourself on the kitchen counter with the other hand. Your nails were clawed on the surface as his member were throbbing inside you, it got bigger each time it slid.

Jungkook moaned slightly as you pushed hip onto him, making his tip reaching the walls of your pussy. A smile appeared on your lips when he moaned so you pushed your hip again and again, causing him to fill the space with his sexy moan.

Fucking sexy. He was fucking sexy when he moaned with his raspy voice. He barely made any sound when both of you made love but when he did, you swear to god, you became addicted to it. You made him feel good.

“Stop or you can’t walk for a week,” he grabbed your hips, stopping you to do that. You smirked.

“Prove that to me,”

You couldn’t see how he looked like but you knew his eyes were darkened in desire and lust. He hated when you challenged him and the fact that he would wreck you, you felt butterflies.

In a blink of eyes, he started to thrust his member into your wet pussy with the roughest pace while grabbing and rubbing your hip with his huge hands. His name came out from your mouth again and again as Jungkook grabbed one of your breasts before giving it a rough kneading.

Again, with his finger, he rubbed and pinched the hardened nipples slowly, making your system almost went error.

“Hmmmm Ahhh,” you screamed out of pleasure. The slapping sound, sounded like a background music along with his grunts and your erotic moan.

“Is that good? Hm?” he hummed, quickened the pace of thrust into you, wrecking the juice that was coming out from the hole. It was really messy and sloppy as the liquid running down your inner thigh.

You nodded.

“Jungkook, I want to see you,” you whined with the weakest voice. He gave you a few more thrust before pulling out and quickly turned your body around to look at him.

Now, you saw how he looked like when he was fucking you. His eyes strike into yours before he grabbed your hips with his arms and place your ass on the cold counter. You squealed at the sudden contact. It was cold and dull, you immediately missed how he felt like inside you.

Jungkook stared at you with his darkened gaze without anything came out from his mouth.

Taking him closer to you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, you smiled. His weakness.

“Kiss me,” you whispered at him.

He grunted again and pulling your mouth to his as he started to hover your lips. The entire part of your lips and mouth. The kiss was rough yet sweet. There was nothing rushed or sloppy when he kissed you. Jungkook’s kiss was always gentle and sexy. When he casually explored your mouth with his warm tongue, your core clenches for his touch. He needed to fill you again.

You pulled from the kiss and jerked the hip onto him along with the eyes strike into his gaze. Needy and desperate. A sudden chuckle left his mouth when he noticed how bad were you at being patient. He gave you a small peck before slamming his member into you again, causing your legs to tremble.

It felt like a heaven.

He grunted every time he pushed himself onto you while breathing hard on your collarbone. Every thrust felt like drugs, you wanted more and more.

“Fucking tight for me,” he scowled, like a beast.

“Hmmm. It feels so good. Harder, Jungkook. Harder. Ah, Ah!”

“Keep screaming my name. It fucking turns me on,” he growls, still pumping into you without looking away from your lewd eyes.

“Please, don’t stop,” you lifted your chin to the air and moaned, while fisting in his hair, softly. Jungkook’s name never left your mouth every time he pumped into your walls. The world seemed like it was fading from your vision and leaving you and Jungkook alone, making love to each other. You didn’t care. If world was breaking and fading, as long as Jungkook was there with you, you knew you would be fine.

His chest rose and almost fell with rapid breath even his pace wasn’t getting any slower. He spread your legs even more, abusing the swollen core.

“Mine. Mine,” Jungkook trailed his mouth to your neck and moaned the words again and again, against the skin, in sync with the thrust. His big tattooed hands slapped your ass over and over again, causing you to scream.

The words—it sent butterflies to your stomach. It was ecstatic and ethereal. How could it suit perfectly with the pleasure he was giving you at this moment? It doubled the electricity that had been running down under your skin.

“You’re mine. Always mine,” he moaned again. Grunts and groans—with his voice. Rough and sloppy, your favourite.

Endless moans and scream came out from your mouth. Your body started to twitched and flinched when the climax started to build inside you. The walls were sensitive and swollen but Jungkook wouldn’t stop. Your body bounce against him, taking his throbbing cock inside you as much as you could.

“Jungkook….Hmmm~ I need to—,” you screamed through gritted teeth, holding both of his shoulders. When you opened your eyes, you lowered your gaze at him and he was staring at your soul. The eye contact—he stared at you like a predator while slamming his hip onto you. You couldn’t help but met his eyes. Those beautiful orbs—there is no way you would want to look away. Every part of him, were an art. His breath hitched.

You moaned while looking at him and a satisfied smile appeared on his face when you had the erotic response to his touch.

“Release yourself and scream my name, baby,” Jungkook groaned at your opened mouth. Mouth opened, moan and whimper. He loved that. When you couldn’t wait any longer, you cummed around his member and left your whole body twitching.

Moment after, he released himself into you, filling every part of your core with his warm liquid. You couldn’t name anything better than this. This was heaven.

Jungkook panted heavily on your shoulder as he supported you from falling on the counter by wrapping his arms around the waist. You held onto his arms while your chest rose back and forth, catching some air and calming the throbbing core.

The weather was cold but the sweat was prickling on both of you and Jungkook’s skin. It was really amazing—difficult to put it into words but it was really amazing. The pleasure you’ve reached. It was crazy

When he finally calmed down a bit, Jungkook pulled out from you and brought his gaze into your soft eyes. His eyes have changed. They have looked sincere and affectionate—like it was full with love, for you. Just for you. You smiled at his flushed and sweaty face. Beautiful.

“I love you,” he spoke. His doe eyes sparkled with affection. The way he stared at you, you could see a soft cloud in his eyes. It was love. True love.

Slowly, you trailed your hand to his cheek and gave it a few rubs.

“I know,” you whispered with a smile. His face. Your heart aches at the sight. Not a pain one but it ached a lot to think how this man existed and God sent him to you. It ached you when you couldn’t even prepare yourself if you lose him one day. There was no way you would want to let this man go.

Jungkook kissed you gently and pulled away to look at you again.

“I love you so much,”

“I love you too, Jungkook,” you said

You come back to reality immediately when the sound of people talking interrupt you and your memories. You look at the untouched food on your plate and realised how long you have been stucked in those scary thoughts.

Why the hell that part comes in your mind—when he is right in front of you, entertaining his new girlfriend? Why is that part of him, touching you and telling you how much he loved you, come right when his girlfriend is smiling at your pathetic face?

You thought God loves you but this is too cruel.

You smooth the dress under the table and starts digging the food. You’ve lost the appetite but you need to end this day quickly—even deep inside, it feels longer.

For some reason, when everyone is having fun, Seulgi is gossiping with Sana. The boys are laughing and almost drunk along with Nayeon and her fiancé. While Jungkook, he is sitting there, talking to Rose like you aren’t there.

You feel like this place doesn’t belong to you. You want to go home. Now. Because your body seems like it’s getting weaker.

You can hear how bright Rose’s voice from the way she talks to him. When she giggles and Jungkook would casually listen and stare at her when she is talking, probably about how her dog is behaving at home and when Jungkook would tuck the hair strand on her face behind her ears to look at her even better—your heart is crushed.

You used to be in that place. You used to spend the whole night, telling him how suck your colleagues are or whining about the small cut you had on your finger or maybe—clinging onto him when you missed his presence. Jungkook would listen while sipping his coffee and eating the snacks.

He actually listened and engaged with you, from the very beginning. The best part is he remembered.

And,

You used to giggle at his random jokes and told him how lame it sounded like. He was bad at making good jokes but the weird thing is, you laughed anyway. He didn’t care as long as you laugh. Even it’s an ugly laugh—he didn’t care because all he wanted was seeing you smile.

But, you’ve lost it. Everything. Now, Rose is in that place, doing everything that you used to do with him. You feel like you’ve been replaced—definitely. He is in love with someone else, which isn’t you. It feels so unfair for some reason.

You inhale some air to calm down the overwhelming feeling that started to take over your body. You steal a glance at both of them before you looked away immediately. You finally realised the distance you have between them two despite just sitting few centimetres away. For some reason, you understand—some things are unreachable even you’re only a step away.

So, you choose to leave.

You remember how worried Seulgi’s face is when you pulled her to quiet place and said you wanted to leave this place. You convinced her to stay since Nayeon probably needs her until the end of the party.

“I’m fine. I should be fine,” you told her. You’re not very sure about that part.

The party is still on-going but your heart isn’t. Seulgi immediately knows what’s happening and finally, agreed for you to leave.

You’ve talked to Nayeon and just as sweet as she always is, she understands. You knew everyone is well aware what has been happening between you and Jungkook. The fact that they’re being careful and respect this situation instead of making it more awkward, you appreciate it so much.

When you finally have the chance to leave, you immediately disappear from the hall as you bring yourself to the back entrance. Nobody would know you are leaving—not even Jungkook. You wouldn’t know this night will end like this. You have no idea you would bringing yourself to the back entrance—leaving like you’re not meant to be here.

“Hey,” as you take your steps to leave the place, you heard the familiar voice from behind. Your heart thumps when you look back.

It’s Jungkook.

He is standing at the door while looking at you and your devastated self. His broad figure under the dim lights look majestic, along with his orbs, sparkling, like they always do.

You feel your throat is choking when he comes closer to you, towering your small and petite figure. He had grown taller from the last time you saw him. It has been so long.

“Seulgi told me you’re leaving,” his voice sounds calm and soft. God, you’ve missed that voice—so much. You clear your throat and nod.

“Yeah. I’m leaving,” you speak, looking up at his eyes even though they are the most dangerous thing in your entire life. He sucks on his lower lip.

“I have something to do…at the office,” you sound hesitant because you know how awful you sound like. You’re not sure whether he notices the lies you’re telling him but you hope, he don’t. It’s weekend and you literally have nothing to do at the office, like you claimed. You don’t want to leave but you need to.

He nods.

“I see. I know it’s late but congratulations. You finally become a designer,” a small smile appears on his lips—without knowing, it brings so much pain to you. You nod at him, looking down to your feet.

There is a silence between you and him, for a moment before you could hear his voice again.

“Thank you for all the good times we’ve spent together,” he added.

“I couldn’t tell you this when we both separated but I really want you to know that the time we had together was beautiful and amazing. It wasn’t short or long either but I definitely won’t forget every inches of it,”

His honey voice fills every space around you and him. It feels like the gravity has lost and the world is fading from you and him. You see and hear nothing but him. It’s weird and crazy but your eyes—you only see him.

“When I broke up with my exes, I always feel regret of dating them but with you, I don’t feel regret—at all. You were one of the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t want to forget those good times. Thank you for giving me such a good memories to remember,”

He sounds very calm and steady when the words come out from his mouth. He rather sounds like none of the memories hurt him like it hurts you.

But, those words—why do they hurt you so bad? This bad? Your heart breaks at the last words. You knew there was a goodbye a long time ago but this time, it feels like it’s officially over and both of you are telling goodbyes to each other.

You don’t want a goodbye. Not now. Not forever. You could feel tears are pooling on your eyes before you casually shake your head, to make the tears go away.

“The time we had together was indeed beautiful. They were so beautiful,” you slowly bring your eyes to him and reading his eyes. Oh, they are always beautiful. They look like a night sky that you never wanted to stop looking at.

He smiles but it tortures you even more.

“But….Can I ask you something?”

He nods.

“Do you love her?” You don’t know where the courage comes from but deep inside, you want to know. You want to know exactly how he feels like even you already know the answer. But, this time, you realise how delusional you are. You want a different answer.

Jungkook stares at your eyes, trying to get the message from them. The silence he gives you is killing you softly. That is the longest silence in your entire life and it brings you nothing but hope. Jungkook smiles, showing off the small dimple on his cheek.

“I do. Very much,”

You are scattered. Into million pieces. You wished you heard him wrong but when Jungkook’s face lights up along with the words, leaving his mouth, you couldn’t believe it’s real. You don’t want to believe but when you realise Jungkook wouldn’t say something like that without actually mean it—you whole soul is crushed.

This is real. You’ve lost him. You’ve really lost him. The one you love with your entire heart and soul.

Your mouth is opened, trying to say something but nothing comes out.

“Even we are no longer together, I hope you would find someone who would love you more than I did. I’m sure you would find it because you deserve the happiness,”

Nobody would love me like you do—you’re my happiness. Your heart screams.

He looks at his wrist and suddenly looking he is rushing to go back.

“I think it’s time to go,” Jungkook says but when he notices your gaze, he stops immediately. He knew you have something to say from your gaze. The body language—he remembered. It’s crazy how sweet yet painful it is.

“Jungkook,” you call him. You couldn’t find the right words to actually tell the words that have been keeping inside your chest. You need to do it today because world knows, you won’t be seeing him again.

“Thank you for making me feel loved and secure during the time we had shared together. Thank you so much for bringing the best part of me when I couldn’t love myself—like you did, You taught me so many things that it changed me to becomes stronger. This strong,” you stop when your chest is rising and your throat is choking.

“Don’t remember me. Please forget everything about us and cherish a new one with her. Don’t love her like you love me—love her like you want to love her and the way she wanted to be loved,” you feel like your throat is choking when the words feel like a poison. You couldn’t believe you’re telling him to forget about you, about those times you’ve shared—with him.

He looks stunned, leaving him speechless.

“Before I go, I need you to know that…..” you stop and stare into his eyes for one more time.

“My love for you was real and sincere. I’ve loved you so much,”

What a white lies.

This is embarrassing to say since he is in love with someone else but That’s the least you could do—because he is now out of reach from your hands.

Jungkook grins. He looks at your softly.

“Thank you,” he nods. You wish he would say more than that. But, it leaves you to no avail. You can hear your heart is screaming.

“I think it’s time to go,”

“Goodbye,” the next second, you trail your eyes to his eyes and taking every image of that beautiful pair of eyes like there is no tomorrow. Like tomorrow won’t come. But, for real, there is no tomorrow for you and him anymore. There is no future of you and him anymore.

How cruel this world is.

The moment when you bring your feet to take the steps away from him and turning your back at him, you could hear his very last word.

“Take care,”

Where did the last part go? “Text me when you reach home” part? Where did you lose it?

Every step you’re taking to the busy street of the city, they feel like thousand thorns are stabbing every part of your skin. It stabs and leaves the wound wide opened. For real, It feels awful and scary when you’re walking from the person with the most memories you don’t want to erase.

When the sudden realisation hit you like a storm—you could feel the pain inside your chest. You feel something is throbbing in your heart and it hurts like crazy. It hurts so bad—you can feel it, choking you from your own breath.

Let him go.

As if it is that easy.

More steps are taken before you realise the tears have been streaming down to the cheeks and pouring on the ground, like a rain. You didn’t know you’ve been crying ever since you walk away until you taste the salty water. It’s bitter.

You’re sobbing like a crazy woman when you realise how long you have been fighting with your own tears the moment you saw him for the first time in forever. You wanted to cry when you saw him because you know, you’re still in love with him. The more you wipe the water from coming down, the more it wets your face, the sad symbolic how broken your heart is.

Your heart is crushed into pieces. You wanted him so much. It never changes. The 365 days you’ve spent alone, didn’t make any difference because when you come back to your bed every night to end the day —you still want him from the deepest bottom of your heart. He is still there in your mind— His scent, his laughter, his voice, his touch—you remember it all too well.

If life is a movie—he is the best part and you can’t forget every inch of it because you knew exactly how it feels like to sleep along with the hopes, in case you could wake up with him beside you.

But, that tiny hope seems like it has been taken away, leaving you hopeless. That hope—it used to make you feel alive but it’s gone. You feel dead.

The people are looking at you, crying over the pain inside your chest. The tears, it falls like river. You didn’t care—they don’t understand how painful it is. Nobody understands this. You want them to but they won’t because it aches too much. It’s hard to put it into words because even thousand words aren’t enough.

Just because you love them, doesn’t mean you’re meant for each other. Just because you adore them, doesn’t mean you’re right for each other.

The tears fall even more at the thought. You bring you hand to your chest, while the other hand clutching the purse tightly with your feet stepping the countless steps to anywhere. God, take this pain away. Take this wound away from me. Give me anything but not this.

You beg with your might.

Now, when the night falls even deeper, when you have no idea how far you have been walking along the streets, when the cold breeze touches your tingly skin, when the seasons change from winter to spring, you know, everything has changed. Your place has been replaced. Forever.

Jungkook has become a memory and you need to accept it even it takes million years. You’re sure—it would take forever. He is someone, whom you can’t reach no matter how you shed the blood and tears. He is unreachable. He used to be but not anymore.

Looking at your feet, you wonder.

Giving a second chance to a wrong person or not getting a chance from the right one, which one hurts the most?

But, for sure, the thing that could break you into thousand pieces is knowing that;

If second chance exists, it’s definitely not for you and him.

let me know your feedbacks!

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engie-ivy · 4 years

Text

I wrote this fic for the Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest, organized by @swottypotter, because I thought it was such a lovely idea😊

(also on AO3 as part of a series of one-shot crush confessions)

19/09: an anniversary

Summary:

Getting older can be a fearful experience, but when you're a werewolf, it's just a tad worse. There's only so many excruciating transformations one's body can undergo before it can take no more. For Remus, the idea of celebrating the day of being another year closer to that inevitable moment is inconceivable. However, his friends teach him that instead of simply having lived another year, his life contains many other anniversaries he could be celebrating: having been part of a close group of friends for another year, having had company during the full moon for another year, and... having a certain friend be in love with him for another year?

Moments in time

Remus Lupin does not celebrate his birthday. Doesn’t like it. Really doesn’t like it. Hates it, in fact. It’s not a case of modesty, like ‘he just doesn’t want to be the center of attention’, or even a case of bad experiences, like ‘if we can just show him how fun it can be’. No, he has made it clear to the other three Marauders that it’s no use even trying. If they throw him a birthday party, he won’t attend. If they buy him birthday gifts, he won’t accept.

It’s not that he hates birthdays as a principle. No, he’d loved it when they snuck into the kitchens and stuffed themselves with sweets for Peter’s birthday, he’d loved it when they stayed up all night and drank Butterbeer and even a bottle of Firewhiskey that they managed to smuggle in for James’s birthday, and he loved it when they had a sleep-over in the Shrieking Shack for Sirius’s birthday. It’s really his own birthday that he doesn’t like.

You see, Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and while he’s now more comfortable with that fact than he’s ever been, with being able to attend school, having people in his life that love and accept him even with knowing the truth, and having friends who became Animagii so he doesn’t have to be alone during the full moon anymore, there are just some things that come with his condition that cannot be changed. The illness on the days preceding and following the full moon, the excruciating pain that the transformations bring, and, probably worst of all, the fact that werewolves age prematurely.

Werewolves do not have a high life expectancy. There’s only so much strain one’s body can endure before it can’t take no more. Remus often reads in textbooks that werewolves don’t get old, but that’s wrong phrasing: werewolves do get old, they just get old really fast. While his friends will still be vital and brimming with energy, Remus’s bones will become fragile and his muscles stiff with constant aching due to the tearing apart and snapping back together necessary for the monthly transformations, his recovery after each full moon will become slower until he’ll never fully recover anymore, he’ll start having trouble walking and eventually moving altogether, his hair will become grey and his skin will become worn and littered with scars, making him look old beyond his years.

It’s bad enough that each year there’s a day to remind him that he’s another year closer to that inescapable faith, so why in Merlin’s name would he want to actually celebrate that day?

Remus never fully explained, so he’s not sure to what extent the other Marauders really understand what getting older means to him, but they can tell that it holds a lot of pain for Remus, and that it’s not something they can fix for him, so they respect his wishes. On the day itself they try their hardest not to give a single indication they’re aware it’s Remus’s birthday. The only way Remus can tell that they do know, is by how they go out of their way to make sure no one else dares to mention his birthday in his vicinity. This may seem weird or even mean to outsiders, but to Remus, it’s the best possible thing they could do.

That’s part of the reason why Remus is utterly confused when he enters their dorm on September 4th and finds Sirius, James and Peter sitting on pillows on the floor surrounded by drinks and candy, and a pile of gifts in their midst.

“Surprise!” They yell in unison the moment Remus opens the door.

Another reason for Remus’s confusion is that it’s nowhere near his birthday.

“What’s this?” He asks carefully.

Sirius presses a card in his hand. The front of the card shows a doodle of four boys sitting at the Gryffindor table. A small boy with peaky hair, a boy whose hair is pointing in all directions, a dark-haired boy with a goofy grin, and a curly-haired boy with large eyes, all wearing red-and-gold colours.

The doodle is clearly drawn by Sirius. Sirius is actually a very talented artist and his drawings are great, though he only ever shows his doodles to his friends. Remus loves the cute and funny doodles, but he wishes Sirius would also show them his more serious drawings sometimes. Remus has only ever caught a glimpse of his work on moments Sirius didn’t notice Remus’s presence in time while drawing, but what he saw was amazing.

Remus opens the card and reads the message on inside.

Hi Moony!

Happy 6-year anniversary of the day we officially became friends with you!

We love you!

Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs

Remus looks up from the card to see Sirius staring at him with the same goofy grin as the doodled boy on the card, but there’s also an unfamiliar expression in his eyes, and he’s toying with a strand of his hair.

Remus realises that he’s nervous. Afraid that Remus will see it as a trick to give him a kind-of-birthday party anyway, and become upset. And of course it is an attempt to make up for lost birthday celebrations, Remus knows that, but it’s a good attempt. It’s not just celebrating a certain amount of years from his life have gone by, it’s celebrating the years they’ve been friends. Making actual friends who love him and who he loves, and keeping them for all that time, that’s something Remus did with his life, something he accomplished, something no one can ever take away from him. It somehow makes the eventual length of his life matter less. It’s celebrating the quality, not the quantity.

A smile spreads across Remus’s face, and he can immediately see the relief on his friends’ faces. “I love it,” he says.

And honestly, how could he not love something that results in Sirius throwing his arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek?

Remus tries to ignore the fluttering of his heart. They’re celebrating five years of friendship, for Godric’s sake. Being friends with someone as loving, bright and cheerful as Sirius is already more than he could have ever asked for. Wanting more, even dreaming of more, would be pushing his luck. See? His brain knows all this, but apparently his heart hasn’t gotten the message.

James gets him out of his frenzy by taking a gift from the pile. “Alright! Lets see who the first gift is for!”

“You got gifts for everyone?” Remus asks curiously.

“Why, of course, Moony!” James exclaims. “Managing to keep one of the greatest persons ever as our friend is really a gift-worthy accomplishment for us! Really something we should be celebrating and congratulating each other on.”

Sirius nudges Remus playfully. “You can see your presents as a reward for having put up with us for so long.”

Remus chuckles. He definitely doesn’t need a reward for one of the greatest things that has ever happened to him, but he’s not gonna say no to the tea, mug and book that lie before him with his name written on them either.

The next surprise comes halfway through October, during their second trip to Hogsmeade of that year. Remus is sitting at the Three Broomsticks with Peter, waiting for James and Sirius to come back with their Butterbeers.

However, suddenly Sirius places a large mug filled with decadent chocolate milk in front of Remus, complete with whipped cream and a chocolate biscuit on top and sprinkled with chocolate chips. At the same time James presses another card in his hands. Remus immediately laughs at the doodle of him in front of Honeydukes, holding a large stack of chocolate in his arms. Wondering what his friends came up with this time, he opens the card.

Moons,

Happy 4-year anniversary of your very first trip to Hogsmeade with us! (Ah, the day Moony discovered Honeydukes...)

Many trips (legal and less-legal) have followed and will follow since!

Lots of love,

Wormy, Pads, and Prongsie

Remus actually wasn’t able to join them on the first weekend they had been allowed to go, as it had been a full moon the night before. Only the next weekend a Hogsmeade trip was planned, they were able to go with the four of them, today apparently four years ago.

The following hour Remus spends reminiscing all his trips to Hogsmeade with his friends. The one when James and Sirius had hidden in the Shrieking Shack and fired hexes at passers-by to convince everyone the Shack is cursed, the one when James tried to secretly follow Lily around to find out what to buy for her birthday and she ended up throwing Butterbeer in his face, the one when Remus was acting cranky because his favourite chocolate was sold out, only to find out Sirius had secretly bought the last bars for him as a surprise, or the one when James actually managed to get a date with Lily, and Peter had asked Mary McDonald, so Remus and Sirius went together (and Remus had to actively tell himself that it was not a date for the entire day, though he doesn’t discuss that last bit with his friends).

Before they leave, the other three Marauders want Remus to pick out all the chocolate he loves most from Honeydukes as his anniversary gift, but Remus refuses, not wanting to be selfish by letting his friends buy him his treats. Back in their dorm, however, it isn’t long before a bag filled with Honeydukes’ finest just mysteriously appears on Remus’s bed.

It isn’t until January, right at the start of the new year, Remus is surprised one again. He steps into the kitchens, where the others had told him to come to prepare for a prank, and finds his friends sitting at a table around a huge chocolate cake.

“Moony!” Peter calls out, while James and Sirius shoot confetti from their wands.

“What’s this?” Remus asks, grinning while he’s shaking the confetti out of his hair. This time he’s more excited than nervous.

Peter hands him the card. Remus chuckles as he sees the little deer with a rat hanging from his antlers, closely followed by a wolf and a dog walking side-by-side, doodled on the front. He opens the card, fully prepared for another odd anniversary his friends managed to come up with, but not prepared in the least for the wave of emotion that washes over him.

Dear Moony,

Happy 2-year anniversary of the day from which you’ll never again have to spend another full moon on your own!

Love, your animalistic friends,

Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

Remus reads the card a couple more times, until his eyes start tearing up and his vision becomes blurry.

The short message is not only a reminder of what his friends have done for him, how they’ve gone and made an aspect of Remus’s life immeasurably better, an aspect Remus had always believed to never get any better.

And then the words ‘never again’, meaning that his friends will continue to help him once they’ve left school, meaning that it doesn’t end when school does, meaning that his friends will always be there for him.

Remus doesn’t even realise he’s crying until two arms wrap around him and Sirius pulls him into a tight hug. His head resting on Sirius’s chest and Sirius soothing him: exactly how he’s been waking up after the full moon for the last two years, and how he’ll be waking up after the full moon for the years to come.

At the end of March, it’s promising to become the first soft spring day after the winter, though the nights still have a chill in the air.

The Marauders are sitting on a blanket in the grass, wrapped in sweaters watching the sun slowly rise over the lake. They’d snuck out in the middle of the night through one of their secret passageways, and spent the rest of the night drinking, talking, star gazing, and now watching the sunrise.

“Cheers!” They cluck their mugs filled with hot mead together in the golden light of the rising sun. “To beautiful spring days and good times!”

“And to Moony,” Sirius adds. “On this special day.”

Remus laughs. “I should have known!” Though he feels this night has already been special enough.

Though he immediately starts reading the card, with a pretty doodle of the castle on the front.

To Messr. Moony,

Happy 2-year anniversary of the day you discovered the last secret passageway and finished the Marauders’ Map!

We solemnly swear to always remain up to no good!

There’s always more mischief to manage,

Yours sincerely,

The Messrs. Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

Remus fondly shakes his head. The season is changing, life at Hogwarts is slowly coming to an end, but the Marauders’ days of mischief making are not ending just yet.

On the 17th of May, Remus is sitting at a table in the common room, surrounded by books, parchment, quills and ink. He’s waiting on Lily. He has a Potions essay due, and horrible in potions as Remus is, he really needs a good grade. Luckily, Lily has agreed to help him, as she’s the absolute best in Potions. Lily is not great because professor Slughorn adores her, professor Slughorn adores her because she’s great.

Remus sees Lily step through the portrait hall carrying a large pile of books, and immediately jumps to his feet to help her carry the load.

However, when they return to Remus’s spot, a beautifully wrapped gift is placed on top of his parchment.

“They came up with another date?” Remus mumbles, slightly embarrassed, but Lily just looks excited. Word has gotten around that the Marauders have been throwing Remus all kinds of parties for all kinds of reasons and everyone just loves it.

“Open it, open it!” Lily claps her hands and Remus tears the wrapping paper off.

Lily sucks in her breath. “Oh!”

Remus himself is unable to form any words as he’s holding up a frame. All he can do is stare wide-eyed at the framed drawing in his hands.

It’s definitely Sirius’s work. Not a doodle this time, but a completely finished, serious artwork. Remus recognizes himself in the drawing, curled up in an armchair, one hand holding a book, and the other holding a mug with steam circling upwards. The scene is seemingly illuminated by soft sunlight falling through a window on Remus’s left, giving his eyes and hair a slightly golden glow. The drawing is somehow comforting, in his ability to capture such a calm, serene moment. Though Remus thinks the boy in the drawing must look much more beautiful than he ever has, he has no problem recognizing himself, as the composure, radiance and expression are so typically his, that it makes him feel strangely vulnerable that someone has looked at him and seen him, really seen him.

“It’s beautiful,” Lily whispers.

The only thing written on the drawing is a date scribbled in the bottom right corner: 17/05/1977. Exactly one year earlier. Remus’s heart is thumping as he picks up and reads the small note that came with the gift.

Dearest Moony,

Happy 1-year anniversary of the day I fell in love with you.

Yours, now and always,

Padfoot

Remus can hardly breath. The more he reads the words, the more his brain stops functioning. He looks at Lily, who has been reading over his shoulder, with a pleading look.

“Lily, what do I do?” He asks desperately.

“Well,” Lily says uncertain. “I’m sure if you tell him you care for him, but see him as just a friend, he’ll-”

“Why in Merlin’s name would I want to say that?” Remus stares at her like she has grown two heads. “Why would I want to turn him down?”

“You looked so panicked!” Lily defends herself. “Why in Merlin’s name are you even asking my advice if you feel the same way? Just go find that boy and bloody snog the living daylights out of him! Merlin, Remus, it’s not Advanced Potions!”

Finding Sirius and snogging him sounds scary, risky, dangerous, and absolutely wonderful, so Remus decides to embrace his Gryffindor courage and go for it.

He barely nods at Lily before dashing away. He bumps into Peter while rushing through the common room.

“Oi, Moony! I just wanted to ask you, are you-”

“Sorry, Wormtail, gotta run! I have to go and snog Padfoot!”

He hears Peter’s voice echo through the room as he climbs through the portrait hole. “Yeeeeesssss!”

In the corridor, he passes James.

“Moony…”

“Sorry, Prongs, no time!”

“He’s up in the Owlery!” James calls after him. “I thought you might like to know you’re going the wrong way.”

Remus immediately turns around and runs in the other direction. He hears James mumble when he passes him again.

“About bloody time.”

Remus’s courage wavers a bit as he steps into the Owlery. Sirius is standing with his hands resting on the ledge, and he’s looking out over the Hogwarts grounds. His pale skin, his grey eyes reflecting the sky, his long hair with strands blowing in his face. Surely there has to be some sort of misunderstanding. Surely a boy this beautiful can’t possibly have feelings for someone like Remus.

But then Sirius turns around to look at him, and Remus can clearly see the love and affection, mingled with fear and uncertainty, in his eyes.

“The twenty-third of September,” Remus blurts out.

Sirius looks at him questioningly.

“That’s my date,” Remus clarifies.

There’s hope in those eyes now. “As in the date of your one-year anniversary of having feelings… for me?” Sirius asks tentatively.

Remus shakes his head, and Sirius drops his gaze, looking embarrassed. “Two years,” Remus quickly clarifies.

Sirius looks up at him again, his eyes now the way Remus likes them best: sparkling.

“Really, Moony?” There’s unconcealed happiness and relief in his voice. “Two whole years and you never said anything?”

Remus huffs. “It’s not an easy thing to say! You know that, took you a year as well.”

“That’s still twice as fast,” Sirius teases.

Remus sighs in defeat. “You’re right. And there’s no way I can give you something so special and amazing as you’ve given me today.”

“You can forget about your date anyway,” Sirius says.

Remus raises his eyebrows. “How so?”

Sirius reaches out his hand towards Remus. “I was rather hoping we could share this date? As the date we officially became a couple?”

Remus hearts stops for a moment, but then he knows just what to do.

He takes the hand Sirius is offering, and in a moment of bravery pulls him close, so that they’re standing chest to chest.

Remus tugs a strand of hair falling over Sirius’s face behind his ear. “I would love to.”

#10daysofhealing #wolfstarcomfortminifest #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders era #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #my tumblr writing

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