Apparently I have been going to the wrong gym

I love Our Flag Means Death because you can clearly feel the chemistry of two close friends who just love working together, and are so comfortable with themselves, they can act intimately as a gay couple without being insecure about it. Same with Good Omens except one of them won’t shut the fuck up about wanting to powerfuck the other on Twitter

I saw someone say Astarion bg3 is "the most queer coded man ever" and yeah. Its. Its because hes queer. He has canonically slept with men. He will date women, men, and nonbinary folks. "Queer coding" you mean the literal text they coded into the fucking game?

i am once AGAIN thinking about the scene in black sails where flint has just been forced by miranda to confront his overwhelming grief over losing thomas, which has been fueling his unholy rage for the past two seasons. flint is sitting there, having a flashback, drowning in the tragedy and injustice of his gay lover’s death… then vane bursts into the room like a roided-up kool-aid man and immediately tries to kill him. 10/10, flawless tonal whiplash, one of the funniest moments in the entire show.

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

I genuinely really fucking hate how some bisexual women do not view relationships with women as valid in the same way m/f relationships are.

A bisexual woman at my work recently got married and she told me that she's told her husband "if you fuck up, my best friend (a woman) is on stand by, just so you know" and I KNOW she would never fucking say something like that about a man. She would never tell her husband that he better behave because she has another man on the back burner if he doesn't.

When I was in high school, one of my friends went back and forth between questioning and identifying as bisexual. Eventually she outright asked me if I wanted to have sex with her so she could explore that part of herself. That's an awkward spot to be put in no matter what, but it was made worse by the fact she was in a serious relationship with a man (as in, she is still with him to this very day). When I asked her why she'd make such a pass at me while having a boyfriend, she said that "he's okay" with her exploring that part of herself. And it's just like. Lmao. Okay. Tell him you want to explore with another man and tell me what happens. What is there to even explore? You are with HIM. Clearly you've made your choice. Your exploration is over, boo.

I know there are so many other examples out there. Some bisexual women outright say they will never marry a woman and would only ever fool around with one. It's sickening. f/f relationships are not lesser than m/f ones. Treat your female partners better (ESPECIALLY if they're lesbians) or don't disturb them at all.

For a full month Tim get to be the Robin again

Static under

PSA!!!!!

This is for the people who didn't know they were gay or bi or pan or ace or aro in their childhood.

This is for the people who had crushes which could be deemed straight and then came out as gay later in their lives.

This is for the trans or genderqueer or fluid or nonbinary people who did not experience dysphoria in their agab.

This one is for the people who don't want to take T or E or have gender-affirming surgery but are still trans.

This one is for the sex-positive or sex-neutral aces who are told that they aren't ace because they aren't disgusted by sex.

This one is for anyone who has been told, "You just need to find the right girl/guy!"

This one is for all the queer people who have been told that they cannot be queer because of their religion, race, ethnicity, etc.

This one is for all the queer people who were told that they weren't queer just because they didn't fit into somebody else's idea of what being queer is like.

Nobody can tell you how to be queer. The only one who gets to decide that is YOU. Queer people do not need to bend themselves over backwards to make others comfortable.

We have always been here and we will continue to be here, and everyone else will just have to learn to accept that.

i cracked the code.

you're Qin Su - you're the daughter of a minor sect leader, and during the war you're rescued by a kind, handsome, clever young man. after the war he's recognised by his father, the leader of one of the most powerful sects in the jianghu, and you decide to try and persue him as a match. he's ameanable - and though it is definitely you doing most of the chasing, you don't mind, as he's very polite and respectful and seems to like you very much! this seems like a perfect match! you two decide to consumate your relatonship to force your parents' hands.

it works! after only have sex once you're pregnant! you get married and everything is wonderful! except... now he won't kiss or touch you, let alone have sex, and seems uncomfortable even sharing a bed. but... he's still kind and sweet and respectful to you, so you try not be too hurt about it. maybe he'll relax over time.

he spends a lot of time with his sworn brother, but the sworn brother is probably the nicest person in the world and your husband doesn't really have many friends, so you don't mind. in fact, you're really pleased that he has the sworn brother to support him! they probably touch each other more than your husband touches you, and he probably spends more time with his sworn brother than he spends with you, but he still treats you with affection and respect, so you don't really feel like you can complain. you're just happy he's happy!

and then the baby is born, and it's a boy! you've given him an heir! it's perfect and you're so excited, because surely this baby is something the two of you can really bond over together and you can become close again-

and then he names your son as an obvious deliberate reference to his sworn brother.

like. what other conclusions can you really draw, at this point??? I am pretty confident Qin Su believed her husband was gay.

I think instead of treating somebody's queerness as a right for you to know, people should instead think of somebody's queerness as a privilege to know.

It is a privilege for you to know if somebody is queer - it is by no means a right. It should be treated as such.

Cyclone: Rooster, you'll be working with Hangman and Phoenix.

Rooster: Alright! My fantasy threesome!!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Rooster: ...Of people on a team...

Was talking with my coworkers today, and I forget how it came up, but one of them was like “Wait, are you gay?” (I’m bisexual)

And instead of just saying that to him, I panicked and replied “Yeah, sometimes”

high school timber is all about repression!!!

it's about bernard desperately trying to prove to himself and his parents that he's straight!! because his parents already don't like him and he cannot be gay. not now not ever!!!! so he puts up this front of a ladies man and he picks a girl he cant ever get together with and maybe he kisses like 3/4 of the female population at grieves and gains a reputation but hey! at least he's not gay! but he's so caught up in making sure his eyes don't to stick too long on tyrone's face or michael-from-biology's eyes or kabir-from-study-hall's thick thighs that even his attraction to women is under a filter. and it's not that he doesn't like women, he does! very much so!! but it's that he's soo caught on not being perceived as gay that he cant show his attraction to women the way he'd like to. it's all under this filter of what he thinks Real Men who are attracted to women act like so it's this brash, loud, crass, thing and it's not him at all. it's "ooh tim, ms. winters is soooo hot!" or "hey kayla, why don't you and i get to know each other a little better, if you know what i mean?" or "god her tits are soo big. she's so fucking hot!" and all this other shit when he really means, "tim, why the fuck does your stepmom have such a pretty smile?" or "kayla, you said you liked yugioh? i'd love to hear more about it!" or "god fuck, that girl has such pretty hands. i think if i held them i'd combust." but none of that is how a Real Man likes women so he shuts that shit down before it even has a chance to come up. it's fine, he's fine. so what if no one ever holds him like he holds those girls? it's fine. he'll take the manwhore label and the fuckboy title and he'll give out as many kisses as those girls want and if sometimes when he's kissing a girl he wonders what it'd be like to sit on kabir's thighs or if tyrone's lips really are as soft as they look, that's just the devil speaking. and if sometimes when he walks back into the cafeteria at lunch, lipstick still smudged on the corner of his mouth, after making out with a girl and his eyes skirt over tim's lithe body and he wonders what it'd be like to draw out the same sounds he's heard girls make when he kisses them, or what it'd be like to brush his thumb over tim's hands, or what it'd be like to hold tim or press a kiss to his shoulder, or a million and one other things, well that'll just have to be another one his secrets.

and it's about tim who's in a relationship with stephanie and his dad knows he's robin and he doesn't have time to figure out why his mouth goes dry when the light hits bernard's hair just right. he's too busy trying to figure out a way back to his nightlife. and so what if bernard has pretty pink lips that look very plush? so what if he's looked at some of his teammates and thought they were handsome? he's not blind!!! he has a girlfriend! and he loves her! and so what if his hand brushes bear's during fourth-period bio? so what if the tingles last all day? it was just some static! and it doesn't matter that when bear laughs his eyes get squinty and they water over -- cause bear always laughs so hard he almost cries -- and it sounds like bells. and it doesn't even matter, that sometimes when bernard walks back into the lunchroom, 10 minutes before the bell rings, lipstick smeared across the corner of his mouth, lips tilted up in the most charming smirk he's ever seen, that his chest fills with jealousy. it doesn't matter that his hands clench into fists so hard that his nails leave crescents marks all day. it doesn't matter that he wants to be bear's flavor of the day, week, month, whatever. he wants to leave the lipstick marks!! he wants to know if bear really is as good as he hears the girls speak about!!! he wants to know "that thing bernard does with his tongue!" is! he wants to drape himself over bear the same way he sees those girls do! he wants to know what bear's hands feel like gripping his waist. he wants, wants, wants!!! but it doesn't matter. it doesn't. he's got a girlfriend, her name is stephanie, she's gorgeous and, most importantly he loves her. he's too busy for bernard anyway.

jason: yeah i just feel like i’m expected to pick a side, ya know? but why can’t i choose both sides? why can’t there be some sort of fluidity with these things?

leo: shit, man! you’re bi? this is amazing news because as a matter of fact i–

jason: … i was talking about the greek and roman camps??

in love with being asexual and in a sex positive relationship with another asexual, wow

past experiences that take sex and make it into something you need instead of something you can just enjoy and going forward into the latter is so kind

not feeling obligated to say or send or do anything is refreshing in ways i can’t describe

however, somehow in a way, it makes sex even more exciting to anticipate + experience. something that we can do in the comfort of each other ??? hello ??? incredible. amazing. love it.

(and, also, not being expected to ever have to have sex or want to do sex is neat in that regard!)