#and also 100% about people getting mad at others for not being angry enough or sad enough- that is entirely unfair and more of
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a/n: oh, how good it feels to be writing again. welcome to my corner; i hope you enjoy your stay.
content: the poor brothers need your presence. you/your pov. gn!reader x lucifer, mammon. (separate). 1.5k words.
warnings: the kitchen almost catches fire. the boys cry just a lil. mammon has some doubts about himself. (also, proofreading does NOT go brr, we die like men.)
there were so many things that could weigh down a poor demon’s mind; brothers who lacked self-restraint, and others who had too much of it. there was paperwork to be finished, and projects to be refined. games were made to be finished 100 percent, and books were written so they could be read front to back. money was for spending, and food was to be devoured. lipstick was made to leave marks on mirrors, and of course, pillows were fluffed up so they could be flattened at night (and during the day, in some cases). so many problems in this world for few people, and yet, for all said problems, there was only one cure. you.
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lucifer.
the silence that came from the kitchen was unsettling. lucifer had already warned you not to disturb his cooking duties, but his anger be damned. you were worried enough that he looked like he had been awake for 4 days straight, and a mess in the kitchen from a sleep deprived demon was not what you wanted to see. not to mention, beel’s stomach growled louder with every passing second. if you were going to deal with an angry demon, you’d rather risk lucifer’s stone cold gaze than beel's hunger pangs.
“lucifer,” you called as you pushed the door open. “beel’s getting… restless.” your words trailed off as your mind attempted to unpack the scene in front of you. there was no mess, which was a relief. however, there was a fire in the pot on the stovetop. the eldest of seven only stared at it in silence. “lucifer!” rushing over, you snatched the lid of the pot before moving it off the heat and attempting to suffocate the flame inside. eyebrows furrowed, you turn to lucifer, slowly waving a hand in front of his face. his red eyes were glassy, holding no light in them. “lucifer,” you repeated for the third time. concern took root in your stomach when he still made no effort to move. after a few moments, you left his side, calling satan to finish cooking duties while you manoeuvred the avatar of pride up to his room. the thought of lucifer being mad that you dragged him around bounced in your head briefly before landing in a soft cushion you liked to call denial.
shaking off the idea, you sat lucifer down on the edge of his bed, bending down on one knee to take a clear look at his face. softly, as though you were cradling a swan made of glass, you placed his head in your hands, thumbs brushing over his cheeks. “luci? come back now, it’s just us.” you had done this before; the last time you witnessed it happen was after lucifer had come home after an argument with diavolo about RAD. a stack of papers on lucifer’s desk stole your attention. with pursed lips, you moved one hand away from his face and slid it onto his waist. “what’s diavolo got you up to now, hm?” your thumb pressed gently into his side, and slowly, you began to see his eyes focusing onto yours.
when he finally came to, his sigh of relief and the way he pressed his cheek into your palm did not go unnoticed. “MC. i apologise, i haven’t been in my right mind these days.” as quickly as lucifer had searched for your warmth, he pulled away from you, one hand brushing yours away from his side.
“you’re telling me,” you chuckled, leaning back onto your heels. “you know you almost set the kitchen on fire?”
the avatar of pride was not feeling very prideful at the moment. “it was strange.” lucifer decided to have a staring contest with the floor. “i knew i had to do something, and yet, i couldn’t bring myself to move.”
your breath hitched in your throat when you saw the first tear slip away from the corner of his eye.
“it’s even more strange,” lucifer whispered, voice threatening to break at any moment, “that i would allow myself to feel so vulnerable around my attendant.” his knuckles turned white from how hard he clenched his fists. lucifer threw his head back, a pained laugh echoing through the room, painting the walls with desperation. you could only wait for his next words with your heart in your throat. when he brought his gaze down to meet yours, a perfect, fake smile overtook his expression. “MC,” he said softly. you waited in silence.
“MC,” he cried, throat tearing at the seams.
acting quick, you moved to envelop him in your arms, one hand pressing into his back and the other running through his hair. you pushed against him, forcing him to lay down. when you both hit the bed, lucifer immediately sought solace in the crook of your neck, his hands grasping at the back of your shirt as sobs wreaked havoc on his body. you responded by pressing your cheek onto the top of his head. “i’m here, lucifer. i’m not going anywhere.”
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mammon.
“yo, MC!”
“mammon?” light flooded into your room against your will, forcing you to squint and continuously tap your night stand in search of your d.d.d. 1:37am. “gods, it’s almost two in the morning, mammon.” you huffed in annoyance, throwing your d.d.d. onto your pillow before falling back onto the bed and drowning yourself in blankets. “at least close the door if you’re gonna stay here,” you groaned.
“okay, first off.” mammon huffed right back at you as he closed the door, “we are in the devildom, there are no gods. second-”
at the second eldest’s remark, you grabbed your free pillow and threw it at his face. “fine, fine. DEVILS, it’s almost two in the morning.” mammon let out an unrefined squawk when the pillow made contact with him. you could barely stifle your laughter underneath your comforter.
“MC, you aren’t funny.” mammon yanked the covers off your face, and it was only then that you saw the annoyance and misery etched into his expression. you decided not to ask about it directly, instead choosing to wonder what mammon wanted to say second.
raising your hands in defeat, you gave mammon a sympathetic look. “i think i’m pretty funny, but whatever you say.” the avatar of greed sent you an unimpressed glare before moving to quite literally sit on you. “oof- mammon! you’re heavy, get off me!” mammon’s shoulders bounced with laughter briefly before he slid off your stomach and into the spot next to you. “ugh. anyways, what were you gonna talk about earlier?”
“oh, yeah, get this.” mammon cleared his throat as though he was about to tell you the greatest story ever. that’s what you wanted, at least. it’s not what you got.
“so i was over at the fall, right?” humming your acknowledgment, you turned onto your side so the two of you were face to face.
“there was this crew of demons, they were all wearing matching jackets and everything. it honestly looked kinda strange, but everyone else there was totally raving about them. i have to admit, their leather jackets looked like they were high quality too. definitely not the ones you could find in those small clothes shops.”
“are you going to spend the whole night fan-boying over them?” you murmured, a hand reaching up idly to play with the hair that draped over mammon’s forehead.
he scoffs in indignance at your reaction. “oi, shut it. and stop playing with my hair, you’re distracting me.” you hummed again before dropping your head and allowing mammon to continue.
“so, basically, long story short, i think they were some sort of gang. asmo warned me about those when at the fall, didn’t think i’d ever see them myself. but then, they came up to me. and can you believe what they started saying? they were acting all high and mighty, sayin’ stuff like, ‘oh, it’s just the second born. the scummy one.’ i don’t even know where it was coming from!”
slowly, you moved your hand closer to his own, tapping your fingertips on his. as if it was second nature, mammon grabbed it immediately, fingers intertwining and fiddling as he continued to speak. “i mean, can you imagine? saying all that about THE great mammon? it’s not like they know me, right? they don’t know what it’s like being second after lucifer. they don’t know what it’s like to actually fall, right?” mammon stopped playing with your hand, opting instead to look you in the eye. “right…?” he practically whimpered the question under his breath, gold eyes turning to sapphire as the tears began to well up. “please, MC,” he begged, his breaths becoming more ragged. “they don’t know, right?”
you felt your heart sink at the question. with a nod, you opened your arms to him and pulled his trembling frame into your embrace. “they’re just jealous, mammon. they don’t know you at all, and everything they say is wrong.”
mammon’s arms tightened around your back, his breathing shallow and his tears never-ending.
“don’t you worry about them,” you whispered into his ear, your hands slowly working their own kind of magic along his back. “everyone that should know what you’ve done for them already knows.” mammon released a sob into your shoulder before trying to press further into your touch. you didn’t stop him. “after all, you are the great mammon, right? you may be the second brother, but you’ll always be my first man.” a shaky laugh replaced his cries briefly, and you couldn’t help but nuzzle your face into his hair in return. “that’s my mammon,” you purred softly, holding him close until he fell asleep.
and that's it for first post. hope you enjoyed it if you're here at the end ♡
#obey me#otome#obey me mammon#obey me luficer#obey me mammon x reader#obey me swd#obey me luci x reader#obey me comfort#obey me hurt/comfort#obey me fluff#aris writes 🐈⬛
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okay this is gonna be a bit of a long rant (with some SA and CSA mentions so pls don’t read if that will be too much for you rn) but I’ve been thinking a lot about the “male loneliness epidemic” lately and I have some Thoughts ™
we live in very isolating, depressing and scary times. we live in a hyper-individualistic capitalist hellscape that seems to punish people who need community support. and I truly believe that we as humans should try to help each other out in the ways that we are able to.
but I lose 100% of my empathy for lonely depressed men when they start using their own personal issues as an excuse to peddle ideologies that advocate for rape, pedophilia, child marriage, sexual slavery, and even murder of women and girls. I don’t fucking care how sad you are, if you advocate for other humans beings to be subjected to the cruelest treatment possible then you either need to get serious help or die (and not take anyone with you when you do).
you do not have a fucking paramount on suffering. you are not the only ones who experience loneliness. I know you think women get to just pick and choose whichever romantic partner/friends we want, but that is false, and also being seen as nothing but a sex object by men is so incredibly isolating too. that’s not real love and connection, that’s only being valued for what we can provide for men. so many people feel so alone and it genuinely is a big problem.
I was raised in an extremely misogynistic cult that preaches that grown men are not responsible for anything they do to little girls bc “they’re wired that way.” I had very bad things happen to me before I was even old enough to realize what it meant. and you know what the excuse always is? “well it happened to him when he was younger too so he can’t help that he does it to you.” I learned very early that male suffering is viewed as more important than the suffering they inflict on innocent people. and despite going through this, despite seeing nearly every woman in my life go through something similar, despite all of this, I still would never ever sympathize with any ideology that preaches rape, slavery, sex trafficking, pedophilia, white supremacy, etc. and that doesn’t make me some super hero, it makes me a mildly normal person.
so no, nobody “pushed” you into your evil ideologies, nobody made you do that. if true suffering at the hands of the opposite sex is really the root cause of inceldom then almost every single woman I know would be the most insane incel you’d ever meet in your entire life. but they’re not, even though many of them are lonely and long for true companionship, none of them feel so angry and entitled to it that they want to murder and rape men or little boys. not a single one. the root cause of inceldom is, and always has been, male entitlement. men who were raised to believe the world and every woman in it exists to serve them in some way, but then grew up and realized that actually nobody is owed sex and you don’t get to force women to marry you and have kids, because we are human beings who deserve to be happy too. and this makes them so mad that they start thinking it’s okay to do whatever they want to whoever they want, because after all, nobody on planet earth could ever suffer as much as incels do when a woman tells them no.
I’m fucking sick of it. stop saying “they pushed me to this” and start taking even an ounce of accountability for your deranged, entitled mindset.
#radblr#radical feminism#radical feminists please touch#radical feminist community#I cooked here tbh#male entitlement#male violence#tw csa mention
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Chapter 4 of No Fun in Fungus! The next chapter will be last!
@daboyau
@theawesomeninja-xd
@nights-flying-fox
@phoebepheebsphibs
Donnie can’t help but feel angry at this point.
At who, he isn’t entirely certain.
Himself? The mushrooms?
There’s just anger.
Weight is suddenly in his hand.
It’s his tech bō.
He slams it into the side of the fake Leo’s head as hard as he can.
The hallucination’s head and neck cracks sideways audibly.
It’s gaze moves back to Donnie.
“You hate me this much? Why? What….did I ever do to you? Why do you want me to be gone from your life so badly?”
Donnie’s hands steady as he hits again.
“Shut up! I don’t care if some dumb dumb mushrooms keep saying my brothers think I hate them!”
Another whack.
“They know I love them! I know I love them! Just because I made mistakes and can’t express my feelings like other people doesn’t make me a monster!”
An even harder hit.
“I would build, destroy, do anything for them! You can’t take that away from me!”
The bō suddenly gets grabbed as the image turns into Shredder.
“You think you can do anything? A pathetic little mistake, a blight on my bloodline talking so boldly. You believe you can hide your weaknesses with machinery, you forget how easily I destroyed it! How easily I can destroy you!”
Donnie is well aware what happened to his tech on multiple occasions.
Because of his failures, two people he cared a lot about were gone within the same day.
However, it was that same tech he created that gave them time to escape.
It was his invention that helped bring Leo back from somewhere that seemed impossible.
Maybe nothing he made was perfect or would always been 100% successful.
He’d make them over and over again to help his family.
Reminding himself of them also brings back the memory of Raph.
There’s a chance that the other component he had been missing was besides knowing this wasn’t real.
Raph didn’t only allow them to calm him down, he also chose to face his fear completely while thinking it was real.
He ha/ to do the same to have a chance of making sure everyone else was okay.
Donnie let’s go of the stuck tech bō and lunges at Shredder, hoping that the hallucination would just vanish.
It still surprises him that it works.
What surprises him even more is when he realizes that he’s actually going towards Raph and Leo.
The three all let out yelps as they crash into each other.
“Okay, ow.” Donnie complains, draped over Raph’s chest and part of Leo.
“That’s my line.” Leo grumbles, but not making any attempt to move.
Raph grabs and pulls the both of them into a tight hug.
“Raph’s never been so happy to get crashed into. You okay? Leo and I saw some….intense stuff.”
“Luckily I am the pinnacle of mysterious bad boy personas, I have my emotions completely under control.” Donnie says despite clinging to them just as much.
Raph can’t help but smile a little more at his reaction, despite the situation they’re in.
It’s nice to know he’s still considered a safe space after everything that’s happened.
“Don’t worry, Raph’s got ya.”
“….Thank you. There is something I want to say-“
“Hold on! I need to give you this before I forget.” Leo holds up the inhaler.
“You….still have that thing? You know I can just make one with ninpo now.”
“Maybe, but if you’re stressed and can’t breathe how are you going to focus enough to make one?…..Are you crying?”
Donnie hides his face in Leo’s shoulder.
“No. The spore cloud made my eyes burn.”
Leo pats his head.
“Sure it did.”
“I’d give you yours, but they’re in my battle shells.”
“They’re? As in more than one?”
“Obviously I have to have one in each or else it nullifies the purpose of it being handy in an emergency.”
Leo sniffles.
“The dust got in my eyes too.”
Tears fall onto them from above, making the two look up.
“There’s nothing in my eyes, I just love you guys so much.” Raph admits.
“We love you too, big guy. Let’s go get Mikey so he doesn’t get mad we’re group hugging without him.” Leo pats Raph’s face.
Raph nods.
“Let’s go make sure he’s okay.”
He lets go of Donnie and Leo before they all stand up.
Leo wobbles slightly.
Donnie nonchalantly leans closer to him, offering his shoulder.
Leo silently accepts the invitation to help him stay upright.
The three of them make their way further in.
When the spores made everything hard to see, Mikey scrambled to grab onto anyone he could.
When he felt nothing, it scared him pretty badly.
There wasn’t much to go on to find out which way they went so he went a random direction and just called out for all of them.
He felt so relieved when he heard all their voices together after some time of walking.
“Hey! You guys! I’m here! Is everyone okay?”
The relief vanishes very quickly as Mikey realizes the voices were angry ones, his brothers were arguing.
“You’re just selfish, Leo! Even after almost getting us all killed you still can’t stop and think for even a second about how we might feel!” Donnie shouts.
“Since when do you care about how people feel!? You keep building robots just so someone will want to hang out with you! I bet S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. died just so he wouldn’t have to be around you anymore!”
Mikey gasps loudly.
That was an incredibly low blow considering S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was like their nephew and, by extension, Donnie’s son.
“Leo! How could you say that?”
Donnie slaps Leo across the face, hard enough that Mikey could tell it stung.
Leo recovers from the slap and tackles Donnie, rolling around in a fight with him on the floor.
“What are you doing!? Raph! Help me stop them!” Mikey pleads, looking up at him.
Raph crosses his arms and has a look that makes Mikey freeze.
This was completely different from how he looks when he’s disappointed.
Raph always has that shine in his eyes even at the worst moments. While the saying is that people keep their hearts on their sleeves, Raph keeps it in his eyes.
That was missing at the moment.
“How many times am I going to have to keep cleaning up everyone’s messes? All I ever do is take care of you three and you’ve never appreciated it. Especially not you.”
“O-Of course I appreciate it! I appreciate you! I love you and Leo and Donnie and dad-“
“No, you don’t. Maybe you love Leo and dad and Donnie, but not me. I worked so hard to keep you safe and for what!? All it did was push you away from me! I’m the bad guy because I didn’t let you do dumb and dangerous things! You never care how hard it is for me to have to be responsible! I have fun too! I’m not just a buzzkill like you guys keep saying!”
Mikey feels tears pricking at his eyes at the tone and volume that Raph has been using.
None of his lectures ever sound like this.
“I-I’m….I’m sorry….”
“You know what? I should be glad you don’t want to hang out with me anymore. You’re annoying.”
Mikey’s heart break into little pieces.
Leo and Donnie stand up.
“Finally, something we can agree on. I’m sick and tired of you coming into my lab! I hate having to pretend like your dumb ideas matter.” Donnie crosses his arms.
“N-No….D-Donnie….h-he likes my ideas! Th-This isn’t him….it can’t be….” Mikey whimpers.
“You guys are being too hard on him.” Leo interjects.
Mikey looks up at him hopefully.
“Why even bother saying what’s wrong with him? He can’t change, he won’t change. Dr. Toxic Positivity only cares if someone’s upset so he can make them feel bad about it.”
“T-Toxic….? No! Please! I just want to help! I can do better! I-I can make this better!”
“You can’t cook breakfast, you can’t draw, you can’t skateboard, you can’t do anything that would make you useful enough for us to put up with you.”
“My arms will heal! They’ll-!” Mikey looks down in horror as he sees the golden cracks on his arms.
“No no no! This isn’t happening!”
The other three turn their backs to him.
“This family is a joke. Good luck surviving without me around.” Raph starts walking off.
“No! Wait! Don’t go!”
“Try not to fall into a sewer hole chasing after a pigeon with pizza.” Donnie hisses, going another direction.
“Please! Stay!”
“You can’t keep yourself together, let alone the family. Being in the prison dimension is better than being here.” Leo comments, walking away from the rest as well.
Tears stream down Mikey’s face as he feels something else welling up.
No.
He was not just going to let them go.
If his arms have to suffer again, so be it.
The feeling flows through him, through his arms and throughout the rest of his body.
There’s a weightlessness that comes to him he isn’t fully aware of.
He’s floating.
Ninpo chains appear around him before shooting out in the directions his brothers went.
When he feels one chain gain purchase on something, he pulls it back.
There’s the sound of quite yelling that gets louder as the chain goes back to him.
It becomes loudest when Leo comes into his vision.
“Wha-, Mikey!? You can fly!?”
“Where are they?”
“You mean Raph and Donnie? They’re fine, they were right next to me, but what’s happening with you!?”
Mikey just sends out more chains.
The yelling starts up again and only ends when Raph and Donnie are brought over as well.
“Mikey!?” They question at the same time.
“How are you doing this!?” Raph pulls at the chain around him.
Mikey wraps more chains around his arms, glowing yellow pooling in his eyes and down his face in tears.
“Stop it! You’re not leaving! I don’t care if you want out of this family! W-We’re going to work out our problems and nobody is going anywhere!”
“Mikey, none of us want to leave the family! It’s the hallucinations!” Donnie insists.
“H-How do I know that!? Leo and Raph fought so much just because they couldn’t understand each other! L-Leo was just going to let himself die! None of you can promise me that you won’t leave!”
“Mikey-“
“No! W-We’re all going to apologize! I-I’m sorry for being so annoying…..I-I’m sorry I can’t use my arms a lot yet. I’m sorry you think I hate you Raphie!” He shuts his eyes, making more tears spill out.
Raph’s jaw drops.
Mikey only calls him Raphie nowadays when he wants something especially badly and his puppy dog eyes weren’t working.
When they were younger, that’s all he called him.
“No! You don’t need to apologize, Mikey! I know you don’t hate me, you don’t even hate Draxum!”
Mikey opens his eyes again, sniffling as they stop glowing.
“I was so scared when you put Leo in your escape pod. W-We had no idea what they were doing with you, i-if you’d come back. I never worried about us not surviving before Shredder! Then the Krang happened and…..I realized more we could all just die! E-Especially you.”
“What….what do you mean….?”
“Leo put himself in the prison dimension, but you made him leave you behind in your escape pod! When Shredder attacked Donnie, you put yourself between them and he was stepping on you! H-How many times are we going to have to see you like that!? It hurts! It’s scary!”
Raph desperately struggles against the chains, he wants to hug his poor baby brother so badly.
“I’m sorry! I….I always thought you guys being scared was better than you being hurt or worse. You’re not a burden or a responsibility, you’re my family. I always want to protect you, and….I can’t do that if I’m gone. I get it. I promise I do.”
Mikey hiccups and removes some chains from him, pulling him closer to hug him tightly.
Raph hugs him back just as tight, maybe even tighter.
Leo and Donnie sigh in relief slightly at Mikey calming down.
“If you’re feeling better, you can set us down now Miguel.” Leo smiles.
Mikey stares hard at him and Donnie from behind Raph’s shoulder.
“We’re not done.”
#2018 tmnt#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanfiction#rise fanfiction#tmnt 2018#fanfiction#rottmnt michelangelo#rise leo#no fun in fungus#tw hallucinations
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ramble about your Ezra Squall redemption arc please?
Absolutely- id be very happy to! I'm quite aware that im about to sound like this:
but you asked so this is what you signed up for /j
Soooooooo it basically wormed its way into my head because of the one time where Squall said something like 'We're wundersmiths we take all of the blame and none of the credit' and I was like, okay sir are you speaking from experience? What was the 'credit' of your actions? And also the mention of the shared enemy, which I at the time took as meaning partially something in the republic that threatens Nevermoor, and partially something to do with the system, the Wunderous Society and like, all the people in charge who are against wundersmiths and are trying to hold Mog back.
Along with these two things, I'd like to think that 100+ years of banishment are long enough to rethink your actions and become a better person.
So, I'll explain it in a way that wont take an entire essay to write out. Basically it goes in my head that, Courage Square was, at least partially an accident, and over 100 years the story got skewed, and the current population turned against Ezra and the Wundersmiths, while the population at the time knew how, Wundersmiths ultimately were trying to help Nevermoor. Courage Square was bad, which is why Ezra was banished, but he wasnt killed. After a tragedy, it would be expected that he'd be punished, but at the time, the Republic as we know it didnt exist, and so being banished out there was a very bad fate, but it was definitely better than death.
Ezra went through a, lot of bad mental states during the first few decades of his banishment, but as he grew older, he came to terms with both his past actions and his current situation, though he still feels guilty about it.
In my head, the Wundersmiths were originally established to protect Nevermoor from the weird creatures of the darkness that the Wunderous Society takes care of now. Those creatures are attracted to Wunder. When Ezra was banished from Nevermoor, there were no longer any Wundersmiths in there, and so WunSoc had to step up and find a way to cover for him. Meanwhile, Ezra, who still loves Nevermoor, establishes Squall Industries, partially to improve conditions in the Republic and partially to provide a bigger, brighter beacon of wunder to attract the majority of the dangerous creatures to a place where he could still handle them. In this same thought, the Hunt of Smoke and Shadow werent something he created, but a group of these dangerous creatures that he managed to tame.
On the same subject are the other cursed children, those who, gather wunder but are unfortunately dont have the gift to control it. The creatures of the darkness, who chase wunder, hunt down these children to take the wunderous energy from them, which they dont survive. Ezra does his best in this situation, but one man can only do so much, and the creatures are relentless.
When he first discovers Morrigan, he's not exactly sure what to do. He tries to just get her as an apprentice through the usual means in the republic, but after a certain mad ginger got in the way he sent the Hunt after her, himself being busy trying to help the other cursed children, but we all know that that attempt didnt work. Ezra, knowing about the wunder critical-mass gather-too-much-without-using-it-makes-bad-things-happen thing, so he used the gossamer to get back into Nevermoor.
Having to enter and view Nevermoor again, even though not physically, took a bit of a toll on him, plus having to interact with someone new while being himself, which is not something he's had to do in a long time. He's also never, had to teach anyone before.
From there, I imagine he goes from frustrated and angry, to irritated but starting to get attached to Mog, to actually being a genuinely good teacher (aka the floof you saw in my drawing, who doesnt sleep nearly enough but still tries his best to be a good person), who is Tired™ and also just as chaotic as Jupiter when he wants to be.
Thank you for listening to my ramble- I can happily expand on anything if anyone happens to like this train of thought. I have further specifics on, basically everything, but this is a solid overview.
#im also working on a new drawing#so hopefully that will be finished in the next few days#nevermoor#jessica townsend#ezra squall#wundersmith#wunder#morrigan crow#ramble#ezra squall redemption arc
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It's been really funny watching my far-right conservative relatives and my liberal lefti-ish fandom friends get mad at Gwen Stacy possibly being trans. For the right wing, this is indoctrination/grooming/whatever. For the center-but-identifies-as-left wing, this is not good enough, cowardly, bullshit, etc. Two groups of people with nothing else in common coming together to agree that ew this icky trans thing is bad, shitting on kids who like the trans character and complaining about the same scene in the movie just kind of proves to me that no queerness is ever going to be accepted by most people. Hell, a lot of their complaints are identical: her haircut is too stereotypical, it wasn't told to us at the very beginning of the first movie, why is she into boys that's not okay, it's so cringe that trans kids like her, etc.
This is why I don't write trans characters anymore. There's no reason to. I'm a trans man, but I've never gotten anything but shit for writing trans characters. Being trans isn't a big enough deal, or it's too big a deal, it's too accepted or it's angsty trash, the character's appearance is always incorrect and bad and wrong, they're too weird, they're too normal, it's bad to have a straight trans person because you're pandering to normies, it's bad to have a gay trans person because you're being stereotypical, it's bad to have an ace trans person because you're saying trans people are unfuckable, it's bad to have a bi/pan trans person because it's fetishization, etc.
The best way to do representation is to not do it. Creators who make the mistake of attempting to do so get crucified. When was the last time you saw backlash against not having rep that was remotely as angry and omnipresent as backlash towards media that does? Racefaker, anti, and lover of 3D photorealistic loli and shota (who of course believes anti-antis are pedos, and has also been accused of raping her own sister by said sister) Lily Orchard got a following off of a 3 hour long video essay on how Steven Universe is terrible and tore into every single queer character at length. Shows with no queer rep don't get 3 hour long diatribes against queerness made about them.
Queer rep is a surefire way to get torn into by other queers and queerphobes alike. The easiest way to exist in fandom, even as a queer person, is to make very cishet works and if someone leaves a comment with a headcanon say you support it. Doing that has completely stopped all the hate I used to get.
Personally I hope they confirm Gwen is cis so I don't have to keep hearing how much she sucks from so many people. We're not at a point as a society where we accept imperfect, non-blatant rep. I doubt we'll ever be.
--
It really just depends who "we" are.
Some people will always be disappointed by fandom over-hyping something as 100% overtly canon when it isn't, but plenty of reasonable adults are capable of not nitpicking every minority character to death. Clout-chasing social media drama queens aren't the whole of society.
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why otto is so pissed off at subaru (arc 8 ch 24)
hello im otto posting Again but im writing this in an attempt to understand this subject myself (and totally not as a reference for later…) and also bc some people in the fandom seemed to be confused on Why ottos so angry at the moment. but i really think the key reason why hes so mad at subaru right now comes from this: otto treasures the people he cares about far above anyone else—to the point where if he needs to make sacrifices, he absolutely will because the people he cares about (his friends in emilia camp) go First before everyone else in his mind.
like. thats ottos key reason for everything hes been doing in arc 8. all his other reasoning branches off from that—like him wanting to leave vollachia for dead and only take the people his camp cares about. otto sees the path that will keep his camp safest—ie just going into vollachia to rescue rem and subaru and then immediately getting out—and he chooses that rather than subaru and emilias more noble approach of refusing to leave vollachia and its population of 50 million people to die. otto himself is aware that his own strategy is Callous, especially after roswaal told him in chapter 24 that he agrees with ottos proposed strategy of just leaving vollachia. but otto thinks that its 1. entirely necessary and 2. he Knows that thats the optimal way to keep the emilia camp safe.
he knows that staying in vollachia and helping vincent is a massive risk to his whole camp. otto being a merchant values equivalent exchange and Hates too much cost, which is On Top of otto knowing that going out of their way to help vollachia is risking the entire emilia camp’s lives. but otto Knows subaru and emilia. and he knows that subaru and emilia are idealists at heart that will do everything they can to save Everyone, which is why despite being Extremely Unhappy about all of this, otto plays hard to get so vincent is the one who asks for their help. that way, at least the decision to help vollachia looks more like accepting the request of vollachias emperor and adding more accomplishments under their belt and Less Like just going out of their way to vollachia for no benefit at all.
otto valuing his camp above everything else is also why he creates distance between himself and julius and anastasia and emphasizes that theyre enemies. for otto, its Absolutely the emilia camp above everyone else.
then theres the whole louis situation. otto, of course, knows that subaru cares about louis Despite everything shes done.
so. essentially. i think ottos extremely pissed about subaru always going out of his way to try and be a hero because otto knows this comes at a Detriment to subaru (bc otto CARES about subaru!!! he knows subaru is WAY too selfless and forgiving and he cant agree with that!!!) and otto worries for the cost of subarus decisions, especially with the current conflict regarding louis. otto has accepted that, unlike the majority of his camp, that he has to be the Bad Guy. because in ottos mind, no one else in his camp is going to be bold enough to be the ruthless morally questionable one. he thinks its 100% necessary to play this role to minimize the costs and threats to his camp.
which is why he hasnt told anyone, despite knowing this from his dp, that louis/spica is innocent.
hes fully aware that—even though hes manipulating his own camp—louis will be more likely to be eliminated if he keeps quiet about the fact that she has Zero malice. louis being eliminated means one less threat to his camp. and otto KNOWS that subaru cares about louis and is upset at the idea of her dying (which is at least partly why otto snapped at julius in chapter 23!!), but ottos decided that killing louis comes at a far less cost than keeping her alive. because keeping her alive means dealing with the consequences of the emilia camp calling her an ally and rem and subaru recognizing her as their daughter when louis has affected So Many people. otto knows this and wants to prevent it at all costs.
otto wants her dead for these reasons. otto figures that he has to be the one walking in darkness bc he not only wants to help emilia and subaru and preserve their idealism (bc he Knows that its important to them!! its who they are at heart and he cares about them in turn bc of their kindness and goodness!!!), but otto also wants to help by being the necessary evil. because someone has to.
that, of course, wont stop otto from being pissed at subarus decisions. this also, of course, wont stop subaru from being pissed if he ever finds out otto withheld the fact that he knows louis is 100% innocent just so he can make sure that 1. the rest of emilia camp stays suspicious of louis and 2. louis gets killed. i really do think ottos questionable decisions will eventually catch up to him—because he stands in direct opposition to everything subaru stands for.
subaru wants to save everyone. he wants to have it all, even if it costs him. otto, meanwhile, chooses only who he cares about because hes not idealistic enough to believe he can have everything, and he believes that sacrifices have to be made even if its cruel. and he knows that subaru cant do that, but it still angers him because hes trying to keep subaru safe while subaru insists on trying to accomplish everything without sacrificing anyone. otto doesnt think its possible at all. but otto knows its not in subarus nature to be pragmatic.
which is why otto takes A Lot of the things subaru has been doing in arc 8 Extremely Personally. because its Very personal for otto.
#IVE BEEN TRYING TO PUT INTO WORDS ON MY THEORY ON WHY OTTOS SO MAD AT SUBARU RN BUT I THINK I MANAGED TO SAY IT ALL IN THIS POST HAH#arc 8 makes ottosubas relationship even crazier…. The divorce arc of all time. thesis and antithesis. they will never agree on anything ever#again aldndndnd#i keep otto posting. its a problem. im very normal about him i promise (is not normal)#rezero#otto suwen#arc 8 spoilers#natsuki subaru#i love otto bc hes been introducing even more moral gray area which is very interesting to me. also bc his development has been perfectly#leading up to his fucking edgy ass ‘i cant walk in the light’ bullshit. otto 😭😭
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Streamer Childe
Childe X GN! Reader
Fluff!
Word Count: 1.5k
Childe, “Tartaglia,” one of the most popular gamer Twitch streamers out there, has over 6.4 million followers.
He doesn’t really go by Tartaglia unless he’s being consumed by his ego, Childe is the name he mainly goes by.
Of course, it’s a running joke in the community that he’s called Childe because he acts like one - and lets be honest he does act like a bit of a child lol.
His real name is Ajax, but he’s pretty determined to keep his private life private. He’ll only let people know what he wants them to know.
Since he’s the most popular streamer out of the friend group (Xiao, Scaramouche, Aether, Venti, Zhongli, Albedo, and Kazuha), he’s more liable to hacker attacks.. what people don’t know is that he’s a hacker himself.
Like an actual hacker.
He doesn’t use this to hack games, no, he’s got a sense of reason, he uses it to annoy the shit out of people and protect himself and friends.
His background is.. not entirely known, but here he is now! A streamer who’s been at it for close to seven years now.
He gained popularity quickly from his looks alone, but his chaotic persona certainly attracts another demographic as well.
He’s insanely good at games, preferring to play multi-player just so he can obliterate his opponents and tea bag them. He’s the king of games like Valorant, Apex, and League of Legends, streams where he’s playing those games are LOUD. He’s constantly seething and screaming.
It’s literally so funny. He’s not toxic, just an idiot.
Talks mad shit, but he can back it up.
Adores destroying Scaramouche in games especially, but they’re one hell of a team if they team up.
He also likes to play silly little fantasy games like Wizard101 (nostalgia) and Genshin Impact. It makes for great chill content on days where he’s a bit more tired than he lets on.
Is definitely not free to play, btw. If he wants a certain character or item he will get it.
Because he’s so popular, he doesn’t have the luxury of having an all too interactive Discord. ):
(That’s why he likes hiding out in his other friends discords under a different account)
In the beginning it was fine, people could talk in multiple chat rooms, but as he grew in popularity.. weirder and weirder people joined. It got to a point where he had to just.. get rid of everything. The only people who can talk on the server now are those who are subscribed to his Twitch for four or more months.
Even then, if they break a strict rule there will be no mercy.
It’s not something he’s happy about, but he cares more about others comfort and safety than overall happiness.
Childe is nice, don’t make him angry.
Of course, he goofs off in the server with his buddies, which is entertaining enough.
He’s pretty much a variety streamer, playing all sorts of games. Was definitely on that Among Us craze. Anything that can be fun he’s going to try.
Doesn’t like horror games all too much but MAN he still plays them if they interest him.
If they’re multiplayer, he’ll always collab with Xiao. Their screaming matches are top tier comedy.
“I SAID IT’S BEHIND YOU BEHIND YOU, YOU GINGER FREAK!”
“I DONT SEE IT FUCK FUCK XIAO WHER- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
When he rage quits he switches off the game and turns off the lights- “Deep breath in, deep breath out guys. It’s just a game~”
Literally looks like the most level headed person but he’s grasping onto the last strings of his sanity so he doesnt go berserk on stream like that one time when Scaramouche one-shotted him and he got so pissed he accidentally broke his finger from wildly swinging his arms around.
That video still circulates the internet LOL.
He never lets his popularity get to him, he just wants to have fun and that’ll never change. If people want him to be their sponsor, he does an extensive background check and makes sure the thing is 100% good for him and his followers.
Yeah he doesn’t have many because of this, but he makes more than enough money to not care about it.
He’s the king of Instagram, always going out and taking hot photo’s.. narcissist but its ok.
You’re his cute photographer (:
He’s pretty addicted to waterparks so he tries going at least thrice a year! He doesn’t live far away from some amazing attractions!
And you!! He drags you along with him!!
Unlike with Xiao who tried to hide it, people know Tartaglia has a s/o.
He’s ALWAYS bragging about you to his watchers, you literally slip into conversation at least twice per stream.
“You know I was going to eat leftovers for dinner but when I got to the fridge I discovered the demon living in my house who I love very much ATE IT. So they’re ordering food right now. They’re literally the best.”
“My s/o put their cold gremlin feet on my legs last night and I think I saw God for a second there. Let’s take a moment out of our day to pray to our lord and savior- Zhongli. He owes me money btw.”
There’s never a dull moment living with him, he’s eccentric and can make you giggle so easily it’s not even fair.
Cleanest guy you’ll ever meet. Enjoys cleaning for some reason, relaxes him. He just likes living in pristine clean conditions.
He has his dark days, where things become so overwheming.. it feels like there are eyes everywhere watching him and he wants to hide under the covers.. Everyone has a breaking point, and this man has seem some seriously fucked up shit and been through even more fucked up shit because of him being a streamer. He can handle it, but the thought of you getting caught up in it makes him feel sick.
He.. has severe anxiety, and sometimes might even pause the stream because an anxiety attack takes his breath away.
He just really needs you near him most of the time.. Just chilling in a beanbag chair not far away from his computer desk is very cool. He’s clingy but not in a suffocating way. More like in a way where you keep him grounded.
You presence is beyond calming. Knowing he has you means everything.
He needs you more than he ever really let on.
He’s pretty good at hiding his emotions on stream though, he wants people to feel happy and have fun when watching him.
Has so many voice redeems (they cost a LOT of points and are for subscribers only but damn.) Once a bunch of people redeemed voice redeems all at the same time mid-game and he lost it. Crying while trying to not lose LOL.
“Wake up, mommy, I threw up”
“Gawd Dayum”
Various random noises.
Took ten minutes to calm down.
Yeah.
His streams are chaotic, not relaxing most of the time.
If you wanna laugh your heart out, he’s the guy!
Also! While he does bring you up often, he keeps you private as well. Doesn’t give key details away, he’s just open about the fact that he has someone that kisses him goodnight.
If anyone (usually weird fangirls) tries to shit on you, he’s calling them out immeidetly.
Only on stream, though, and without mentioning their user.
He’s aware communities can be toxic, and he doesn’t want to give anyone the oppurtunity to doxx someone.
He doesn’t reply to hate comments on Twitter because of this, he’s seen what has happened when other streamers do.
No one, not even his haters, deserve to be doxxed for something harmless.
Actually, he’s caught someone trying to hack him a few times. Cue the sinister grin as he out-hacks the noobs.
Literally no idea what his past was, he won’t say anything to you about it.
Meh.
About once every two months, he has a 36 hour stream, all proceeds go to a charity. If a major event happens in the world, he’ll try to do a 12-24 hour stream and donate revenue to the organization thats helping.
Kinda like what Pewdiepie does??
He’s very rich btw. Buys designer shit because he likes feeling fancy.
Makeup KING. Has an extensive bathroom routine. You’ll never see him with dry skin or baggy eyes (unless its a long stream).
He likes helping small streams! Every month he compiles a list of recommended small streamers, even has an “End Of The Month Recommendation Stream” where he and his followers watch a small part of the streamers past stream as to advertise it.
Genuinely a good guy. Has so many giveaways.. on Twitter to make it easier. Don’t need to follow, just like and retweet. (:
He’s giving.. Gah! So hard not to love him!
Until you play games with him and he has no mercy and will destroy your team to win.
He lets people know that the person is his s/o, but what they don’t know is that you are also impossible to hack thanks to his security meassures.
He’s so thorough it’s insane. A perfectionist.
His PC set up is pretty cute, got an obsession with the ocean and whales so.. beach themed game room~
Not uncommon to see him drinking from a coconut.
There’s so much fanart of him it’s insane, even animations from collabs!
Adores his community.. but is aware of some bad apples.
Makes it VERY clear he doesn’t support harassment or doxxing, and that if any of his followers do that sort of shit they’re dead to him.
It’s hard work being popular, so many bodyguards at meet and greets.
Dude is so bad with money it’s not even funny, had to hire a personal assistant to keep him in check.. but but.. if he sees something he knows you’ll like..... MUST BUY.
Has a Youtube channel too, he puts up tutorials on there. Please sit on his lap while he edits videos, he craves attention constantly. Kissies your cheek while mindlessly editing.
He streams 4 days a week, sometimes 5 if he feels like it, so he needs his cuddles.
Streams last on average 3 hours, crazy 3 hours.
If you don’t give him a kiss before he streams he will be a very upset man on that stream.
#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#ajax x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin#genshin impact#streamer au#genshin streamer au#streamer au childe#childe streamer au#tartaglia streamer au
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can i get a uhhhhhhhhhhh head canons for wally and/or julie with a emotional reader?(really sad, really happy, really mad, frustrated, etc? just rollercoaster emotions)
if not, its okay, i love your works<3
Of course, anon! Would you like pickles with that?
I get really emotional too, so these should be fun to do! I haven't gotten any requests for anything with Julie yet, either, so this'll help me with writing her! Thanks so much for saying you love my stuff, also!! It really makes it all worthwhile to know my writing makes people smile!! Enjoy!!
(♡˙︶˙♡)
Wally and Julie x emotional!reader Headcanons🍎🛼
It's hard not to get caught up in Julie's cheery mood!!
(Sometimes you wonder how she's such good friends with Frank...)
When you're feeling down Julie's strategy is to distract you and make you perky again!! "Hey, why don't we play a game!?"
When you're feeling down Wally's strategy is to talk through your feelings and to let you know he's there for you. "Tell me what's got you feeling gray. I'm here to listen."
Both methods are good, but sometimes you need one thing more than the other
Or both! You go to both of them with your problems sometimes
Crying on Wally's shoulder (literally)
Laughing till you cry with Julie
If you scrape your knees on the sidewalk, you'll get frustrated and try not to cry
Julie will pretend not to notice and suggest you go get ice cream together
Wally will give you a hug and let you cry as much as you need
When you get mad Wally is patient and willing to talk it out
When you need to vent Julie will sit and listen to your story (she'll gasp really dramatically and be totally 100% with you)
Doing hopscotch and chalk games with Julie- lots of active fun
Making chalk art with Wally- relaxing and theraputic
Either way you end up with chalk on your clothes
When you get really worked up Wally is good for being there until you're calm again
His voice is really soothing
Feeling so happy you start to cry, and Wally getting concerned thinking you're upset
Sometimes you get angry enough to get in an argument with Julie
You always make up when you're cooled off
If it takes you a while to calm down about something Wally will help you do relaxing activities
He's your rock, and Julie is your squishy fun marshmallow
This was sort of written like Wally and the reader are dating, and Julie and the reader are best friends!! Hope that's what you were thinking of, heh. Hope you liked these!! They were fun to write! Thanks for requesting them, I look forward to doing more in the future!! Much love!!
ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ
#pyro does headcanons#pyro does requests#pyro writes#welcome home#wally darling#wally darling x reader#wally darling x reader headcanons#julie joyful
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On a completely speculative note about Asulili, what do you think their relationship is like at home? I really want to know how close they are at this point. I wonder if they are at a stage where they do hug each other or hold hands, or one using the others lap as a pillow. I feel like Lili deep down is so soft for Asuka. I feel like Asuka's the type to act like she's mad about having her head on Lili's lap and getting her hair stroked but her protests are so weak that they're laughable.
They're so funny I feel like they bounce back and forth between being all over each other and just stewing in it from across the room. Shifting from intentional to unintentional affection and back too as easy as changing hats. I've written several scenes like this but say for example one is just doing her skincare routine and the other is looking at bicycle mags and they're both giving each other looks in between, which builds to comments, which may or may not build to sitting next to each other with their arms over each other's shoulders or something. Or Asuka coming over and leaning and smiling while she watches Lili work.
That's affection and touching without really thinking about it, and teasing each other over one feeding the other at dinner so that it escalates into play fighting etc. Or not touching at all but definitely looking until someone breaks into action. Then being more direct is straight up going for it whatever the contact is and not breaking it or stopping till it gets too much or something snaps them out of it.
They at the very least are holding hands in canon. 100%. Asuka of all people let Lili drag her away by the hand to keep her from fighting Devil Kaz because Asuka is insane enough to think she could just go for it. I love that Lili seems like she knew Asuka would do that and immediately went to get her bf to stop her from dying lmao. The fact Asuka let her and held her back makes it feel normal now or at least accepted. There's probably other small touches they get away with; I hesitate to assign anything bigger just because we got no FUCKING scene showing how deep they bonded they just ARE being friendly now for literally any reason. But that's just bad writing and I don't like saying something is true when I can't find reasonable evidence enough to take an educated guess. I laugh though just imagining the fucking third wheel XiaoJin and Panda were on that walk to the air strip for Lili's jet because you just KNOW that Lili would have turned it into a lecture/argument on why Asuka shouldn't have tried going for Kaz before they make up over it on the plane. And everyone else there stuck in the couple's argument has to decide how gay what they're looking at is.
Everything else is kinda fair game since we don't really know. Hugs however I feel are reserved for intense moments of emotion. But Lili absolutely has a soft spot for everyone she cares about or wants to care about (Her father, Sebastian, even trying to be connect and be concerned for Eliza in Eliza's 7 ending despite that going nowhere) and Asuka would be no exception. When she wants to give Asuka affection well Asuka's just gonna have to deal with it unless she expresses that she's genuinely not in the mood. But if she's not genuinely furious then 100% I also see Asuka as playing up annoyance or being fake mad or her anger simply melting before returning the favor or letting Lili give her affection. It stops being worth it to stay angry at her. She puts up a half hearted fight meanwhile Lili laughs and chuckles in her face knowing the truth. Oh you hate it this much? Then why are you leaning into my fingers through your hair? lol. Asuka too has to soften up herself around someone caring about her specifically. Up to this point nobody but Asuka's dad has shown her affection or cared about what she's doing- because everybody threw her away after Feng and the Jin family connection.
They're both very gentle with each other if they'd let themselves be, both openly and making it part of their little game of pride imo. Even in things like sparring I get the sense they never intend to actually hurt each other seriously, we'd probably have seen that or gotten dialogue about it if so, it's pure games at this point. It's also a mutual test of each other's abilities; in Lili's 7 ending Asuka actually says "This sucks but I can admit it's my loss!" which means hot head Asuka ISN'T taking this the same as fighting gang boys. She's not fighting to pummel and subdue she's fighting to enjoy the challenge. It's one fighter to another and if Lili proves herself better then Asuka can put her pride aside to admit that. Her unique victory line against Lili says "It's my win but feel free to come at me again." (more literal translation). In both 7 and 8 she tells Lili this time they'll settle everything. To me that sounds like she gives her and their fights a level of respect and restraint. It means something beyond I'm Good You're Bad I Punish You. And should someone (most likely Lili let's be real) get hurt to a level that makes it uncomfortable then the first aid comes out after the fight. If they're already holding hands then by Tekken 9 we will see marriage even more PDA casual or not I bet you.
EDIT: The fact Asuka has to be provoked at all to fight Lili and now in 8 she has lines remarking on changes in Lili's strength/technique is a massive indicator that she doesn't equate Lili with how she fights boys. When Asuka has fought boys SHE is the one doing the provoking (see her TT2 ending because it's the only direct glimpse we get on how she handles gangs) while technically you can say "Asuka isn't provoking people she's just telling them to not fight" YES BUT- she deliberately uses a belittling tone and patronizing language in doing so. Pay attention to the way she phrases things. In Japanese she even directly calls what the boys do "being an eyesore". She also doesn't explain why they shouldn't hit each other in public beyond it's just a bad thing to do. She talks as if either she herself has a simplistic view of the situation (ie. Her child like moral view in general) or as if she's purposefully talking in a way to provoke the kinds of people she knows will be provoked to hitting her this way. Or both.
Now I might include this in La Vie en rose i'm not sure lmao
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Ableism for DID
🗝️🏷️ I’m mad and wrote a short essay about it. Therapy goals, RAMCOA mentions, angry tone
It’s not good practice to be pushing integration the way people are. Not fusion, integration — memories, abilities, experiences. The treatment is still taking a system and forcing them close enough together to pass as a singlet.
Some systems probably need that, maybe if members aren’t being responsible with the body while out or flashbacks only stop by putting together pieces. But not every system will. Even communication across the system might not be a priority.
Integration does remove dissociative barriers, but it also risks flooding alters into one another when they really don’t want that. It should be thought out as much as any treatment goal, and having it as a standard only serves to undermine a clients authority over their own therapy.
Big System
The way we find out about system members is mostly exponential. I’m not convinced it ever ends, I think if you kept following alters who knew alters you would just end up overcrowded into the abyss.
We knew about 8 people the first time we thought we were done. It was 20 by the time we got through that sidesystem, not including their nested subsystems. When we learned about those, it went up to 40ish, then 60. We haven’t actually found everyone there yet, it goes pretty deep.
We were scared and excited when we found 100. That was a whole other sidesystem, plus a few from elsewhere. People kept logging until we hit 200, then 300. We only just decided to keep track of fragments, which is kind of nightmarish itself, and so far we have like 20 of them that are stable and take front often.
I know of several hundred fragments. Some are connected to alters, some are memory holders, some specific skills or traits unique to them. There is onegroup that are all shapeshifters, but they take the same form throughout so it’s hard to tell if it’s one alter with duplication abilities or like 30. We call them Omen, they are like our tornado sirens.
There are so many of them. We’re figuring out patterns and programs, so that’s been great and helpful. Getting to know everyone is huge, and it has dark sides. Not everyone knows they are a person, or that they are allowed to elaborate.
It takes a lot of faith on their part to take the leap and feel like themselves. We work on separation and healing with each person, and we don’t need more convincing that we aren’t. It was a big part of our trauma to not be a person, and some of it was based on our multiplicity. None of us could be a person, so none of us got human rights. That’s not okay.
Individuality
We have a lot of alter groups that are all elaborated. They all seem like full people, each with several hobbies and a life history and worldview that has changed throughout their existence. Sometimes subsystems are more part-like, but sometimes there are 5 iterations of a fractal and all of them are whole, solid people.
I know that we share a body. I know that we could have been one person, given better circumstances. But it still hasn’t been our experience that having a lot of us equals each of us having less. We use different parts of the brain differently, but we don’t literally occupy that space.
I don’t see why we can’t be individuals on the alter level. Integration, either of alters or of memories and skills, is such a priority for healing. We don’t see it that way. Our therapist doesn’t see it that way. Our boundaries between system members are largely the same as between our body and outsiders. It would be better for us if we could interact system member to singlet, but that would require us being seen as more than one.
It’s so much harder to get people to treat us as separate when the goal is to act like one person. We’ve been healing one-on-one in therapy, and we put memories together like authors of a book, restricted to those who need to see.
We don’t want to share memories or feel bad we don’t work like a singlet, because we’re not. And the size of our system doesn’t make us any less. It isn’t better than how singlets are, it just isn’t the same. It’s inherently a different experience, and forcing a system to function differently feels the same as when we had to put away our autism for allistics.
Stop making us bad for being different. Stop making us hide away the ugly. Stop forcing us into little boxes that we already know the whole group doesn’t fit, let alone a system with extensive trauma. Even without the trauma, it costs nothing but mental energy to treat us as we ask. If you can’t do that, don’t bother interacting with us at all.
TL;DR: systems/alters also deserve autonomy and the right to set boundaries. If that’s too hard, don’t be friends with that system.
#did osdd#dissociative identity disorder#traumagenic system#actuallydid#did system#ramcoa#tw ramcoa#polyfragmented system#osddid#polyfrag system#system
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Hi!! I just discovered your blog and I fell in love. I would like to make a request about Wesker about something that has been obsessing me since the first time I saw him.... HIS PERFECT HAIR. So..., a request where the reader continually ruffles Wesker's hair in various ways to get him mad. (And maybe the consequences ;) )
No bc why is his hair literally perfect,,, Also I'm sorry if you wanted a drabble, I legit didn't see that you didn't mention hcs until I already finished it ;-;. Leave another request tho and I'd be happy to spin out a drabble!
Rating: 18+ mention
TWs/CWs: None
Okay so this is kind of a tangent thought; while normally he's annoyed by it, if you lovingly comb your fingers through his hair after a long day he loves it 😭 100% guaranteed way to get his ultra-rare sweet side to come out!
Aside from that though- he's perpetually annoyed by it
Although it annoys him, he wont get actually angry unless you do it in public/where other people will see. He's got a reputation of perfection to keep and that's extremely important to him. This creates the kind of angry where he doesn't really do anything spicy he just,, kinda ignores you for the rest of the day and gets snippy with you :(
If you want a spicy reaction tho...
Keep it at home. As I said, it'll irritate him, but not piss him off
The best plan of attack would be to keep messing up his hair while he's getting ready for work; he's got enough power that being late to work is okay, and he can't really leave with his hair messy so,, he's kinda stuck with you ;)
That being said, it's rare he'll do more than back you into/pin you against the nearest wall and growl at you to knock it off (🤤)
The only times he'll entertain going farther than that to "punish" you is if he's exceptionally grumpy
Pls just,, picture Wesker with his hair falling in his eyes while he's got you pinned down,, Im down horrendous
#resident evil ask blog#resident evil x reader#resident evil#resident evil fanfiction#anon ask#albert wesker#wesker#wesker x reader#albert wesker x reader
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A Court of Wings and Ruin - Christ alive/5 ☆
Warning - this review is 1.2k words, and 98% negative. If you love SJM and the ACOTAR series, love that for you /gen. However, for your own mental health, I genuinely would not recommend you read this. For everyone else, and those who hate-read, Let's begin!
~~~
Okay, so I actually rated this 2 stars on Goodreads because I didn’t hate it the whole time but, I’m mad about it so it gets a special rating. ♡
I honestly lament when I was excited to read this book. Being what I refer to as a Lucien Lover (nuanced), I enjoyed a good bit of the beginning of this book. That’s not to say I wholeheartedly enjoyed every word of the first 100 pages of this book.
So we start with Feyre in the throes of rage, becoming a master manipulator. Now, before I put just a minute or two of thought into it, I loved it. I love a girl tearing shit apart and using intellegence as a form of strength. However…
Anybody think she was doing a little too much…?
Like, okay, Tamlin fucked up. Big time. I will admit justice is needed! Love when women take back power! But not only dismantling his entire country but turning everyone against him for things that he actually did not do? Crazy! He sucks! But people still live in that country. We still need order! His life is ruined now and I don’t necessarily think all that was necessary.
Tamlin sidebar: “my father and my father’s father did the Tithe, so I’m going to do it.” Didn’t you acknowledge two books ago that your father sucks absolute ass? What fucking sense does that make? How in the first book was he the Perfect Moral Man that now can’t see the very evident immorality in the shit you’re doing. Anywhoozers.
So, Feyre has her cool girl moments and returns to the Night Court. In book one, I was bored out of my mind until we arrived in Rhys-land. (Good one). This time, it was like the moment we arrived here the magic was lost. I was no longer excited to read. And honestly, I think the big issue was actually our beloved bat-boy, Rhysand.
I don’t know her personally, so this is not an attack on her character, but I’m starting to feel like SJM writes Rhysand based off of her fantasy version of what a man is like. Dominating, but soft and loving. Perfectly moral. Capable of evil, deplorable things, but too loving of people and their dreams to be that way. I’m going to be referring to it as PMS (Perfect Man Syndrome).
Many of her men (sorry, males) are unfortunate PMS victims, but Rhysand is by far the worst. I wish I had underlined it when I was reading so I could cite it, but there’s just something about his actions. He is PMSing so hard that he doesn’t develop at all. He was old enough to be grown during the faerie-UK version of the Amercian Civil War where of course he was anti-slavery the entire time despite being raised by people who appeared to be violent racists. Good for our educated king. He also, of course, runs a sanctuary for abused women.
Of course, I’m not saying that being anti-slavery and supporting abused women is bad. I love it. But like… be real with me here. I know that this is fictional. It’s not real. We can be happy here. But can I have some dimension, please? This man is the personality version of Flat Stanley. We had two conflicts between them since they got together and both were resolved by Rhys nearly getting on his knees and saying everything is his fault and he’s so sorry. The first conflict was just her thinking she stepped out of her Womenly Line and him not even knowing there was an issue.
He’s just so. Fucking. Boring.
Moving on. ♡.
Let’s talk about what makes me so goddamn angry about this book. I’ve seen complaints about SJM where other people are saying that other people call her books feminist literature. I personally have never heard anybody say that, but if I did, I don’t know if I would be able to control the rant that would ensue.
I’m willing to have a civilized conversation, but I don’t remember Feyre actually doing anything. Yes, SJM puts her women in positions of power. Do they use said power? Maybe once or twice.
Amren is an ex-god with powers above any character we’ve met so far. We see it used I think once. The rest of the time is spent talking about her power and her holding down the fort at Velaris while everyone else is off to war.
Morrigan - also very powerful (described only). I remember her power being “truth” and never elaborating on that. She is a known soldier, that doesn’t fight.
During the two huge battles, Feyre, Nesta, and Morrigan are on the ground while Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel are in the air fighting. After the first battle, Feyre is seen tending to her beloved mate’s wounds, Nesta is fetching water for Cassian, and Morrigan is getting mad at Nesta for wanting to fuck Cassian. So strong of all of them.
Azriel is there doing… nothing. Which he has a habit of doing. Speaking of habits, SJM will create characters that I like because I’m excited to see how they will grow and develop.
She then proceeds to do nothing with them.
I know more books are coming, as they will with SJM until the end of time, but it’s starting to drag. I love Elain. Well, I love what Elain could be. She’s a seemingly fragile, docile character. With her Seer powers, I was excited to see her notice the world around her sucks and develop into somone capable of holding their own. Instead, she uses her powers to relay some cryptic messages that no one heeds or even tries to, then she “snaps out of it” and can’t really do anything else.
Azriel has a tragic backstory and seemingly a big story to tell. God, I wish I could ever fucking hear it.
This is getting exceptionally long, but I remembered I had a list of things I wanted from ACOWAR and didn’t receive, so I’ll pick one more thing off.
The Ouroboros. Out of all symbols, the Ouroboros is my favorite. Cycles and inevitability and all that. We spend a good chunk of this book leading up to Feyre retrieving this. It drives everyone mad. Only the strongest can look in it and survive. I was so excited to see what she saw! What the battle with herself would be like! How does she overcome it?
I guess we’ll never know.
She ended up seeing… herself? I guess she wasn’t previously aware of her flaws and then simply accepted them. Would love to have seen it!
And to finally end this review, I think the Ouroboros is a good symbol of every issue I have with this book. There’s so much build up and excitement that ultimately leads nearly no explanation. It’s like there’s ideas and concepts but then no idea how to execute them.
I won’t be reading ACOFAS or ACOSF or anything else. I already didn’t want to, then I found out about the pregnancy thing and. Yeah. I think I’m good off that.
#books#book review#acowar#acowar spoilers#acotar spoilers#anti acotar#anti acowar#anti sjm#anti rhysand#anti feyre#bookblr
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Yandere! Steve Rogers x Reader (general Headcanons)
Steve’s song about/to reader:
Completely obsessive, incredibly possessive, and sooo clingy.
So, first off, I think he would be a very black and white yandere.
What I mean by that is, he could either be your most beautiful daydream or your most terrifying nightmare. It really all depends on how much you behave.
I think at first he would try to date you normally but would also rush it or go overboard before you guys have gotten to a level that certain gestures are normal. Like getting you clothes, engraved jewelry, and like a build-a-bear at the first date level when those gifts would be seen as overbearing. Or downright creepy.
This might push you away on its own. And 100% would if you didn’t like him that way to begin with.
But if you did accept it and liked him back, you’re just digging your own metaphoric grave I’m gonna be honest. You give him an inch, he’ll take a mile. He would be completely comfortable with being married and in the process of having kids by the end of the year. The sooner the better in his eyes.
If you tried to let him down easy as in, you didn’t completely cut contact off, maybe stayed friends or colleagues, he would argue about it. “Why am I not enough? I’d do anything for you!” “What more could I do? I’ll do it!” He would get aggravated and try to convince you to change your mind. Wether nicely or.. loudly.
If you completely ditched out on him and tried to hide from or avoid him and his texts, he would find you. That’s it. That’s just how it would be. He would find you and you would learn to love him. He would kidnap you and have strict rules on what you could and couldn’t do.
He would spoil you while you were good but if you had been bad and broken rules, he would severely punish you. This is the first yandere I’ve written about that would actually put their hands on you in anger in some way. I could see him spanking you or if you kept pushing and made him mad enough, he might slap you out of anger. Slapping you would make him instantly feel guilt and regret and would be the only way he might regret his actions. Spanking though, doesn’t effect him emotionally because he would be one of those people that don’t see them as the same thing even though the only difference is location. And with him being a super soldier and having super strength.. it would hurt so much more.
Other punishments would be things more like stern or angry lectures, confinement until submission, and confiscating things you enjoy.
His rules are pretty strict as well. He would expect you to fall in line of the traditional “house wife”. You cook his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You clean the house. You pamper and fawn over him and his needs. And you will not complain, argue back at him, or fight against him in any scenario. If you do, you will immediately be punished. The severity of the broken rule will have a matching punishment of the same severity.
If you can expect anything out of him, expect him to be fair. If you brake a rule the punishment is matching in severity, if you’re the house wife then he will provide everything you want and need. He won’t punish you without cause. Etc.
He will pay for everything. Just ask and you’ll get it.
I may have painted him more as a dictator and that is accurate for one side of him as a yandere but he also has another softer side.
He is very clingy and very affectionate. He does love you in his own.. twisted way. Cuddling and kisses are very frequent in this relationship. He would love doing silly things that he missed out on too. Board games, fun karaoke, etc. he would love just spending time with you in general. Being around you and with you in anyway is his bliss. If you’re less lively and have more of a calmer personality, he’d love to read your favorite books to you. Or poetry if you like that. Hot cocoa, in front of the fire place with him rubbing your feet and you reading a good book while it snows outside. He is very attentive and loving if you let him show it.
He would be completely obsessed with you in ways like this. Always thinking of you when he’s away. Always worrying over you. Always touching you in some way like holding hands or his arm around you holding you close. When cuddling he is very much the type to nuzzle against your shoulder and just breathing you in. He lives to indulge in you. This is also why I picked the song I added to the post. He is absolutely obsessed with you.
“Just let me love you, darling.”
Authors note:
There’s many ways I could see a yandere Steve Rogers going so if anyone has any requests on scenarios, lmk!
#headcanon#x reader#x y/n#x you#yandere#yande.re#obsessiveness#headcanons#marvel#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers#captain america#mcu fanfiction#mcufam#mcu x reader
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OC ( Sakura🌸) powers and abilities:
Flame fury: flame fury is the ability for her to light her whole entire body on fire. This happens when she's angry. Flame fury is one of her most deadliest powers. Her Flames can get out of hand really quickly if she isn't calm down soon enough. The Flames can spread like wildfire really quickly depending on how mad she is.
Cuddles plus 10: Cuddles plus 10 is the ability for her to multiply herself. Sometimes it can go from 6 Sakuras to 100 Sakuras it really just depends on her mood. This usually happens when she's really excited or when she just wants to cuddle. she'll multiply herself. it's not really as dangerous as flamed fury tho it can get out of hand, but it's not that dangerous.
Sugar rush: Sugar rush is... More of her consequences of eating too much sugar really. Sugar rush is basically well...a sugar rush. Like anybody else if they have a lot of sugar and their system they get really hyper. But since she has a whole bunch of different powers. sugar rush is more dangerous. It's basically her having a sugar rush, but all of her powers are out of hand. Causing her to teleport everywhere, phase through walls, burn some stuff here and there, and just crazy hyper it's a little scary. But they never really last as long, it all depends on how much she eats. If she has a lot, the sugar rush can last to about 30 or 40 minutes. If she doesn't have that much then the sugar rush will last to about 5 or 10 minutes.
Nervous barrier: nervous barrier is her ability to create a barrier around herself for protection. This usually happens when she feels nervous or threatened. It's more of a reflex thing. Like how turtles go into their shell to protect themselves. Her barrier is incredibly strong and nothing can break through it. She can even put a barrier around those around her to protect them too.
Psychic sleepwalking: psychic sleepwalking is when basically her psychic abilities are active when she's asleep, this also causing her to sleep walk. Psychic sleepwalking is not too dangerous to her more dangerous to others around her. During this, she is completely unconscious and not aware of what she's doing. It's dangerous because she floats anything by her that can be toys, her bed, silverware, couches, TVs, and even people. Which is why it's so dangerous.
Kiss of life: kiss of life is basically, her kissing something back to life and or heal. Like if someone were to get a scratch on their knee all she'd have to do is just kiss it better 💕
Love Ora: love Ors is basically her being able to release an ora from herself, the ora instantly relaxes anyone around, it can steady heart rates, relax muscles, and relieve any pain. Having a panic attack? Not anymore.
Teleportation: this goes without saying. Can teleport anywhere the user wishes.
Phase through: she can phase through walls Or any solid material. Some times it's on accident, sometimes it's on purpose. but most of the time it's on accident.
Invisibility: this also goes without saying(2#) she can go invisible. It's more of a reflex when she gets spooked she'll turn invisible. Has scared her brothers more than once when she does this.
Super hearing: this goes without saying (3#) She has very good hearing, she can hear what people are saying and what's going on even if they are mile away.
Mind reading: This goes without saying (4#), she can read minds of anyone she looks at or comes in contact with like physical touch contact.
Spider senses: She's not a spider, but she does have senses like a spider. She can feel when something's about to happen and also can predict the future.
Big OR Small: Big or small is when Sakura Can grow Big like.. Really, REALLY BIG! or get small like... Really, REALLY SMALL. That's two 'reallys'. (I made a reference lol)
Good night tulip: good night tulip, is just Sakura's sleeping sack. When she goes to sleep, if she wants to, she has the power to create a giant tulip to sleep in. Inside the tulip, it has warm temperature, noise cancelling, her Love Ora to help relax the body and fall asleep. Sometimes she doesn't even use it to sleep in. Sometimes she just needs her space and her Good night tulip provides that for her. She can even share it to somebody if they need their space too. (once she's finished with it, the tulip will bloom into a beautiful cherry blossom flower.)
Happy Flowers: Happy Flowers is when Flowers Bloom on Sakura all around her body. This usually happens when she's really happy and relaxed. Cherry blossom flowers will start to bloom on her, the flowers are a really pretty sight to see. If the flowers bloom somewhere in the dark they will glow creating a beautiful fantasy like site.
Special eyes: Special eyes is the ability for her to look through anything solid, like walls and stuff, she could see people moving on the other side of walls or anything really.
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This makes it seem like she's unstoppable, but I promise you, she has a lot of Bad after effects from her powers, like if she uses mind reading too much, she can get a really bad headache, and sometimes even give her a nose bleed. There are a lot more after effects from her power I'll talk about later, but for now enjoy this post of her powers :)
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I was wondering if you would be willing to take on an analysis of Cassian and Nesta’s relationship. I’m a sucker for romance and when I first read acosf I was so excited and happy for all the nessian although there were parts I felt so angry with Cassian because I felt were extremely unnecessary, like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration, telling her he’s shackled and not getting a decent reconciliation, to name a few. I feel like the story has this imbalance between the two characters because everyone already sees Cassian as this funny, mistreated by society, handsome huge cuddle bear in Feyre’s pov and we see Nesta as this unnecessary asshole in her pov. That, paired with Nesta’s self loathing, is why I can see why some readers are led to believe Nesta is awful to Cassian and might even go as far as agree that she needs to be worthy of him (which is why I have feelings about Mor who is an NC leader and one of her job titles is to help abused women but that’s another topic) then to read it explicitly in Nesta’s pov at the ending of acosf is what made me abandon the ship almost completely. which is a problem because we’ve agreed in previous posts just as Nesta’s pov is subjective by that same logic so is Feyre’s.
I loved reading your thoughts about Nesta and her father since that also didn’t make sense to me. I always figured Nesta’s trauma stemmed from the matriarchal side of her family and it’s helping me come to a certain understanding. I was just hoping maybe your perspective might give nessian a fresh angle I’m missing.
Hello! I will do my best. I assume we probably won't agree 100% but I am very much in the mood to lend some nuance to Nesta's character since the fandom is either intensely anti her or pro her, and both stances distort her character (and tbh some of the takes I've seen COMPLETELY missed the point of her entire character and of acosf, not to mention they are super vitriolic and antagonistic towards other people in the fandom. Calm the fuck down, y'all. No you op, just... the fandom.)
I take nessian as being a very different type of ship than any of sjm's others. Her other ships have tension that usually stops short of cruelty, but nessian are very aggressive as a couple and that energy turns antagonistic sometimes. Their dynamic is what made sjm make them mates, because Nesta is a force to be reckoned with and Cassian is not only strong enough to be with her and give it back, but he doesn't turn away from her either, when so many people in her life have stopped trying (Amren, Elain, Feyre to an extent).
I put the rest of this under the cut because it got very long!
Honestly, it confuses me when people get mad at Cassian for being mean to Nesta because that street goes both ways. They both say horrible things to each other that they know will wound, though Nesta does it first and more often. She calls him a brute and a bastard, when we know that that's one of his major insecurities. And this starts in Wings and Embers!
Her brows flattened. “Leader of the High Lord’s armies, and yet the brute remains. You cannot cow me with words, so you seek to intimidate me through your hulking size.”
Rhys, Az, and Cassian all call each other bastards on occasion but with them it's Bastard (affectionate). When Nesta calls Cassian a bastard/brute, she does it à la Beron and Eris. I honestly can't include all the times that she insults him that way. He lets it go at first, but then we know that, in his POV, this is actually an insult that gets under his skin and something he thinks about himself - much in the same way that Nesta thinks negative things about herself:
They were all staring. Cassian rolled his tensed shoulders, stretching out his wings. He’d revealed too much. Like a stupid brute, he’d let them all see too much, learn too much.
And someone else who uses that against him is Eris:
Cassian clenched his jaw. “So you’re to be my ally whether I wish it or not?” “The brute understands at last.” Cassian ignored the barb.
“It’s the ugliness of his fucking soul that riles me. I don’t care if he calls me a mongrel bastard.” Eris had called him such things today, she realized. Rage rippled through her. “It’s just that, ally or not, I hate him. He’s so slick and unruffled and … I can’t stand him.” He set down his fork and stared toward the window behind her. “Eris and his twisted word games and politics are an enemy I don’t know how to handle. Every time I meet with him, I feel like he’s got the upper hand. Like I can only catch up to him, and he sees through my every fumbling attempt at being clever. Maybe that makes me a stupid brute after all.”
And it's ironic to me that Nesta gets angry at how Eris insulted Cassian in that way, because she has done the exact same thing. So she knows that her blows are landing. In fact, that's why she does it. Nesta has identified a weakness and exploits it in order to push Cassian away, so I'm not surprised that it worked and he snaps. That's the reaction she's going for and that's the kind of behavior she needs to change because she's constantly pushing people away and then getting angry/sad when they leave.
The reason that I am emphasizing the things that Nesta has done here is not to say any of this is her fault, but that they both dish it out, and if we read the whole scenes, it usually starts with Nesta because that's just where she's at in her life right now. I dislike the arguments that because Cassian is older, he should know better or whatever, because 1) Nesta is an adult, and 2) as an Elder Millennial lol I know that age doesn't mean anything when it comes to maturity. In fact, I've lost my fucks with increasing frequency over the past few years. I know 20 year olds who are more mature than 40 year olds. It's just not that simple!
To go back to my initial point about their relationship, I think that even once the intention to harm is gone, now that some reconciliation has happened and they accept the mating bond, they will continue to be that aggressive couple. Feysand are leaders, nessian are warriors, and in the future I see elucien as co-conspirators and gwynriel as competitors. Nesta and Cassian both fight for what they care about, in the literal fighting sense, so it seems natural that that bleeds into their relationship a bit when they are still butting heads and trying to figure out how they work.
There are a couple of things you pointed out that I've noticed other people mention, so I wanted to discuss them!
like making Nesta carry a heavy pack all while not noticing her dehydration
I personally don't have an issue with the hike as a whole (I have another ask where I'll touch on it), but I did read this thing where Nesta passed out from dehydration as being both of their faults. Cassian just isn't paying attention, he forgets that Nesta isn't a hundreds of years old Illyrian tough guy and she *had barely gotten to the bottom of the stairs at the HoW (edit because I forgot she did that just before these shenanigans). Nesta is a grown adult, he's not her babysitter, she could have said something but instead she just suffered. (I wonder if that was also in line with her self-destructive behavior in acofas?) They're basically both being dumb here.
telling her he’s shackled
While he is doing this to hurt Nesta in that scene, all of the acotar mates thus far have said that about their mate. Lucien said it about Elain and Rhys about Feyre, though theirs were in more self-deprecating ways. To me, it just goes back to the push and pull that Nesta and Cassian have. I think the conflict in that scene is that they are essentially talking about two different things - for Cassian, Nesta rejecting the mating bond is her rejecting him. But for Nesta, the mating bond has nothing to do with Cassian and everything to do with her lost humanity. Cassian is taking her reaction personally (and why wouldn't he, when she has spent so much time picking at his insecurities?) and she is thinking of how the Cauldron and being Made affected her (and why wouldn't she, when she is still grappling with her trauma?) They are basically both thinking of themselves! And not considering how the other one feels.
and not getting a decent reconciliation
I think *fingers crossed* that we will see them in a much better place in future books. SJM said that Nesta's story will continue, so I'm just going to be optimistic here. Since the narration won't follow either of their perspectives anymore (we assume) we probably won't get an in-depth exploration of it. In fact, I was surprised when I got towards the end of acosf that I only had 30 more pages because I knew that so much still needed to happen. The end was very rushed but that's a whole different issue 😂
I am curious what you think of them after this! They aren't my favorite acotar ship; that's reserved for feysand and elucien, at least in canon. But I really love Cassian's character for his combination of strength and vulnerability, and Nesta is probably the most complex and interesting thus far, so I enjoy them from that standpoint.
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I have mixed feelings about the cheating situation. In one sense they’re teenagers and I think everyone in the situation had their reasons for doing things and reacting to the situation, but I really struggle with Jerome’s reaction to the reaction. He’s a kid and I don’t think he should be held accountable for shit he did at 17 for the rest of his life when it’s this minuscule of a problem, but there were multiple scenes where people made digs at him for playing two girls and he truly believed that it was alright. Yes he apologized I get that, but even towards the end of the season he makes a comment about how he didn’t mean to hurt them…I truly believe Jerome didn’t think he deserved repercussions for hurting Willow and Mara. I don’t like that. Do I think they went too far with the revenge plot? Yes. Cause I wish they would’ve sat down and talked. Mara and Jerome, imo, needed to have a long conversation about it. Not with Willow. Not with Joy. But just the two of them. Their relationship arc had been from s1. Jerome had that little crush on her that blossomed and it eventually led us to s3 and the cheating situation. Maybe it’s me not understanding how he cheated on her with Willow, who I adore, I’m just not understanding how those two had any sort of chemistry or connection, but I wanted him to explain his sudden drawback. Joy defending Jerome those times were valid but her in that damn bedroom saying she thought it was all about revenge. It’s like the entire house lacked brain cells that season. The miscommunication trope was wild. What i’m saying is I think the cheating trope was interesting to the development of the characters. I just really don’t think Jerome realized what he did was wrong. I love Jeroy. They’re my favorite ship of all time. I just can’t stand how Jara essentially ended and there was no sit down conversation being like “Hey, I hurt you. This isn’t about me liking Joy it’s about me breaking the heart of the girl who fell in love with me and who i pined after for two years” I just needed something. Those teenagers couldn’t talk.
I have a lot of thoughts so please click below
see I do completely get what you're saying I do, and it's not that I disagree with you so much as that's just not really how things work. throughout the whole show, characters hurt each other and do shitty things because it's full of overwhelmingly human characters, but they can't just sit and talk it all out for hours in therapy speak until everyone is 100% okay. that's not how television works, that's not even really how life works. I don't honestly see how jerome and mara sitting and talking out every one of their issues would make either of them feel better and not more mad each other and it wouldn't be good television. hell, who in life ever sits down with their ex who cheated on them and discusses why and how and all of their personal feelings about it, especially two seventeen year olds who dated less than a year. I do understand that it feels like he should apologise further but the damage was already done, mara was too angry to hear it and jerome didn't know himself well enough to articulate why. I also just can't really name many shows where any (unmarried, childless, outside of a therapy environment) couples sit down and discuss in detail the end of their relationship.
I do disagree with you saying that he didn't think he deserved repercussions. he quite literally finds out that the three of them wrote a play specifically to embarrass him in front of the entire year group and accepts it and directs it anyway and says that he just hopes it helps mara move on and feel better. he does even repeatedly try to apologise to mara. he lets her say horrible things about his dad without fighting back and he backs off of joy around her as to not upset her further, all things he never would've done pre being caught cheating. he tells the house that they all need to get over it only when they're all being silent and glaring at him at the breakfast table because he still has to live there and he can't have every single person in house mad at him forever.
in terms of how he could have gotten with willow and his 'sudden drawback from mara', I really do not mean this to sound rude but like did you watch it? when he and willow first kiss in detention, mara had broken up with him like at least a week ago. he tried to win her back over and over (with admittedly hollow gestures I'm not like validating his behaviour just stating the facts of what happened) and she ignored him. by the time he kisses willow in detention, he thinks he fucked up too bad and he's never getting mara back, and so he's rebounding. he doesn't really have tons of chemistry with willow, that's kinda the point, she's just there and she's sweet and she's into him and it's a lot less complicated. it's only after all this that mara approaches him in the kitchen and is like 'congrats we're back together' and by that point he's already moved on from her enough that he's not willing to give up willow because he doesn't like either of them that much by that point. and this is not me defending him but like if he'd told mara then and there that he'd kissed willow even though she barely gave him a chance to, it still would've crushed her, because unlike him she didn't think they were done, she was just holding off because of the sisterhood. the whole situation isn't black and white, he didn't wake up and say "I'm gonna have two girlfriends" and it's a mess and that's the whole point of it. I've gone over the other jara stuff before so I'm not gonna repeat myself but idk, it didn't happen the way you're making it sound like.
and lastly, about joy saying "I thought it was all about revenge", the whole point of that scene is that both girls are lashing out each other because they're both broken hearted. it was the wrong thing to say, but it was an impossibly difficult and insane situation. and up until that point, mara didn't do a whole lot of crying and being sad because she got angry and stayed that way. the part about the revenge plotline that makes it so interesting to watch and why I liked it is because it was always going to hurt everyone involved and it was always going to be everyone's fault. jerome was getting hurt either way, joy was always going to fall for him, which was a betrayal to mara, but it was also an insane thing for mara to ask her to do in the first place. it blows up in everyone's faces badly, but both girls both eventually realise that it's okay that they're both upset and that it all only happened because of some incredibly poor decision making and that's that. the ending with mara deciding to put her friend's happiness above her anger is the most important lesson of all of it. also:
he does try to sincerely apologise for all of it one last time and she shakes her head with a smile and tells him that it's okay. the whole point of mara's arc is that she doesn't need that from him anymore, she's learning to deal with her feelings herself and know her own worth even when others don't, which is what she's been needing to learn to do the whole show.
tldr: I understand that cheating is a difficult topic that people have a lot of thoughts about and I respect that, but real life isn't therapy and what a lot of your takes tell me is that either you didn't really pay attention during their storyline or that it's been a long time since you watched it
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