#also like. i 100% believe she was looking into the double-dealing from the start
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"I Think You And I Should Partner Up"
Part 1 | Part 2
Notes: My silly little headcanon for Pantalone is that he is someone who does his job too well so he is kind of bored of it. Meaning now he likes to use his money to do 'fun things'. I like to think he is also a very experimental and since he has the budget to do weird shit he just does. Have you ever had that weird feeling that you suddenly became very aware of yourself and have this realization that you have free will? Yeah he is constantly in that mindset. So now you, the reader will have to deal with his shenanigans. Sorry it's a bit shorter than the previous one. Enjoy. :)
CW: Blood, Self-inflicted injury, Poison consumption, Cursing, minor character death, mentions of fighting
HC: Reader is gender-neutral and has a masterless vision (Hydro). Reader is also a bit of an idiot in this one sorry.
Characters: Pantalone, Dottore (Mentioned)
Poison
When you first started working for Pantalone you expected him to be someone who did his work quite seriously. However, after observing him, you began to realize he was far from it. He was constantly bored, only putting in the bare minimum effort to get things done.
Reading and answering documents? If it wasn't from the Tsarista herself he barely even glanced at it.
Setting a budget? You watched in horror when he just wrote a million mora cheque and handed it to the fatui soldiers within a heartbeat.
Writing reports for the end of the month? He wouldn't even double-check it after he was done writing.
You began to wonder whether you were going to be ok working under this man when he looked like he barely put any thought into any of the work he was doing. That was before you read his reports.
His handwriting was what caught your eyes first. It was elegant, almost as if it was printed directly onto the paper. If you had not witnessed him writing the reports in front of your eyes you almost wouldn't believe it was written by hand There were no scratched-out works to indicate a spelling mistake or even a spill of ink on the paper.
His writing was also straightforward. You were quite impressed seeing how detailed he could get while making sure not to write any unnecessary information. "You wrote this in one setting?" you asked, skimming through his writing once more. Pantalone looked at you, tilting his head a bit to see your face which was still face-deep in his reports. He wondered why you were so impressed.
"After you write 100 of these it becomes muscle memory. It all feels the same to me." He answered, waiting for you to finally look up from the paper. Realizing you weren't going to stop reading, he huffed annoyed, grabbing the paper out of your hands.
You glared at him, to which he responded with a smile. "Let's do something fun. I'm tired of looking at these already."
Other than his unbothered attitude towards work, you found out that he had quite a twisted personality. His definition of 'fun' was helping you discover your new vision powers. However, unlike a normal person, he always tried to find a way to mess with you while doing so.
You were not blessed by the archons to receive a vision and that was one of the reasons you resented your sister. However, now that you held your sister's masterless vision in your hand, shining as brightly as it did when she was alive you wondered if the vision itself was a curse.
Before you started to work for him, you had to explain to Pantalone how you had gotten your hands on an active vision without being bestowed one personally. He listened eagerly as you began to recall the moment you were almost beaten to death by his soldiers. It pissed you off a bit having to recall a situation that was completely avoidable if his subordinates weren't suck dicks but you continued till the end.
"So I assume you are a healer then? Your ability to heal quickly is quite extraordinary." He asked excitedly. You roll your eyes, sitting back against the velvet cushioned seat, sinking into the comfort of the chair. You didn't expect him to ask so many questions. At this point, he pretty much heard your entire life story since you left Snezhnaya.
"If we somehow found a way to reactivate masterless visions as you did, then maybe we could get rid of the whole delusion production we have going on here. " Pantalone remarked, getting up from his seat. He made his way to his desk, pulling out what seemed to be an envelope opener from his desk. The sharp edges made it fitter to be a dagger. "It would make the process cheaper." He finished, slightly glazing his fingers across the edge of the knife.
You irked an eyebrow at him, wondering what nonsense he planned on pulling now. He smiled at you, making his way back to you. Instead of sitting back in his seat across from you, he stood right next to you. Pulling his glove off his right hand, he began to speak. "Since you are a healer, and a quick one at that, I want to see if that applies to others as well."
Before you could react, he stabbed himself in the palm, dragging the blade from the bottom of his pinkie to the end of his wrist. You jumped out of your chair in shock, knocking back the chair which lead to a resounding thud in the room. You stared at him in disbelief. He put the dagger down on the table, which stained the white cloth lace effectively. He pushed his scarred bloody hand toward you. "Fix it."
You were surprised to see how unphased, his smile never escaping his lips. You could feel a sudden pressure fill the room. You didn't know what you did to heal yourself before, the healing just happened on its own and now Pantalone wants you to heal him in an instant!
You could feel yourself panic, his eyes watching you carefully while you tried to process what to do next. Maybe it was the ringing in your ears due to the stress which made you lose your train of thought or the way you could see his blood flowing between his fingers and dripping on the red carpet floor but without a second thought, you reached for his hand, slowly bringing it towards your lips.
Pantalone watched you, dumbfound, as you placed a soft kiss on his hand. Almost in an instant, he could see stitches made of water form, mending his skin and cleaning up his wounds. The water shined a bright blue light which highlighted all the details of your face. After the wound was stitched by the water threads, the light faded like vapor into the air. It almost looked as if he had never stabbed his hand at all. The only proof it happened was from the blood laced on the knife, the floor, and now on your lips. He wondered if it would stain. Red seemed to be your color.
You let his hand go and he pulled it closer to his face, inspecting it. No scabs or scars. Almost an instant recovery. His face of shock began to spark into a smile. You could see his eyes light up with excitement like a man who had just won the lottery. "What am I? Some kind of prince for you to kiss my hand like that?" He laughed, as he watched your face heat up.
"I panicked! I have never done this before!" You retort back, trying to forget the stunt that you just pulled. "Just be glad it worked!" You huffed, crossing your arms and turning away so you would no longer have to face him anymore.
He watched as you turned away from him. 'Exciting.' He thought again. He has never seen someone with the ability to heal this quickly. Questions flooded his head in an instant. How many times you could heal yourself in a battle until your limit was reached? How many people you could heal at once? What exactly was too much? He just had to find out.
He pulled out a handkerchief from his coat. "Well you better start finding another way to heal, I don't think I can explain to my coworkers why my new bodyguard keeps kissing me whenever I get hurt." You turned back around to yell at him only to be stopped by a handkerchief being placed on your lips, wiping off the blood that was on your face. Sadly for him, the color didn't stain.
---
Another thing you noticed when working alongside Pantalone was the fact he kept most meetings with clients short. So imagine your surprise when he kicked you out of his office for longer than 30 minutes. You stayed stationed out his door, whistling a tune out of boredom. You were not allowed to venture far away from him since you were technically his bodyguard, but you never could stay in the same room as him while he conducted his meetings since you were not a registered Fatui soldier.
You could hear panicked muffles and the moving of chairs inside the room, indicating that he was done. You stood up straight against the wall, watching his client storm out of the room in a hurry. You curiously peeked inside to see Pantalone still in his seat. His eyes locked with yours and his fake smile drifted away, forming into a more genuine one. He beckoned you inside and you complied.
He stood up from his seat, stretching his limbs while you entered the room, closing the door behind you. "Tough meeting?" "Very." He answered, yawning. "He just wouldn't give up. He said I was being cheap with the costs."
You hummed at him, making your way toward him. You eyed his desk. There were two cups and a teapot placed for both him and his guest. One cup was visibly empty while the other one remained full. "You're not going to drink that?" You asked.
Pantalone looked down at the cup of tea before giving you a shrug. "Not really." He turned to look out the window. His client slowly made his way toward the gate. His movements becoming more sluggish the closer he went to the door. Pantalone watched him as he began to slow down before completely passing out on the snowy floor. He didn't even make it past the gate. The fatui soldiers nearby began to drag him out of Pantalone's vision. He sighed to himself, turning back to face you. The cup of tea was no longer on his desk and in your hands.
He watched in horror as you placed the cup of tea to your lips. You drank it in an instant, licking your lips to make sure you got every last drip of it. It was sweet and you could taste a hint of floral in it. "What was in it? Limp grass? Sweet flower?" You asked, you had never tasted such a unique blend before.
"Poison." "Huh?" The room fell entirely silent. You and Pantalone stared at each other, waiting for something to happen. He spoke up again. "It was poison."
Your hands began to shake. "Why did you poison both cups?!" You shouted, the cup dropping from your hands and shattering on the ground. You grabbed your neck, you could feel it tingle and you began to worry the effects were already happening. "It was just the easiest option! Why did you drink it in the first place?!" He yelled back, making his way towards you. He grabbed you by the shoulders to hold you steady.
"It smelled nice! I didn't want it to go to waste!" You retort back. Pantalone grabbed you by the face, roughly turning your head around while you could feel tears stream down your face. You didn't want to die because of something so stupid. The tears were more of embarrassment than fear. "Do you feel anything?" Pantalone asked, a lot quieter. His face was full of concern trying to see if any of the visible symptoms he was told would surface on you.
You shook your head, the tears still streaming down your face. "My throat just feels a bit tingly, nothing else." You answered, sniffling a bit. Pantalone frowned. The poison effects were supposed to be in an instant. He had just watched someone die by the exact poison that you consumed. However, it seemed nothing was happening at all. "Are you perhaps immune to it?" He asked. His hand never left your face. He wiped some tears away as you slowly began to calm down.
You could feel yourself frown too. He let you go when you pushed him away to touch your face and neck again, you really did not feel anything else. His face of concern now lighting up again. You knew that face the minute he began to smile again. It was his 'something fun' face. You could feel yourself turn red from embarrassment. "You mean I was crying over nothing?" You mumbled, now ashamed of thinking you were going to die such a stupid death.
"How fascinating!" Pantalone exclaimed, you watched him circle you excitedly, looking you up and down as if you were the most incredible thing that he has ever witnessed with his eyes. "You're immune to poison! That's incredible! Do you know how common it is to be poisoned like that? This is wonderful." You watched as he excitedly babbled to you. "I thought I was going to die!" You whined, covering your face in your hands to hide your shame while he continued to circle you.
Pantalone was having the time of his life. Not only were you a quick healer, but you also were immune to poison! Ever since he had met you again it felt like he was a child discovering the world for the first time. His usual harbringer life which was only full of paperwork and meetings now had some spice to it. He looked at you, seeing the red tint on your face seeping through the gaps of your fingers. 'Red was most certainly your color' he thought, a playful grin resting on his face. What other surprises could you show him? He just had to know.
"I wonder…" You immediately look up from your hands to see him eye the teapot on his desk. You put two and two together. He looked back at you, your eyes locking and now stuck in a staring match, waiting to see who would make the next move. Pantalone was the first to break, immediately diving towards the teapot. You followed suit, trying to grab it before he could do something stupid yet again.
Sadly you were not quick enough. He grabbed the pot putting it up to his lips, chugging the tea from the spout. He dropped the teapot after he was done, the pot crashing right next to the shattered cup on the floor. You could see tea drip from the side of his mouth. He smirked at you, while all you could do was stare at him in disappointment. "Fix it."
---
You healed him again. Since you began training to use the vision you were glad this time you could conjure up your healing magic through your hands instead of having to kiss him. He frowned when you did so. "It would have been a lot more fun if you had kept kissing me instead." You rolled your eyes at him. "Just be glad I bothered saving you. You could have died just now!" He gave you a wide smiled grin that you wanted to punch right off his face. Who knew he would be such a pain in the ass to work with.
He lay on the couch, still recovering from the poison he had consumed. The side effects of the poison were still present even after you had saved him from certain death. It seemed your healing ability was mostly efficient to you than to others. You noted that you probably had to train more to improve this. "It was a powerful poison. I'm surprised the only thing you felt was a tingle." He groaned, clutching his head in pain. "Who would make such a poison like that?" You asked, immediately reaching to fetch the bottle of water on the stand nearby. You handed it to him and he gladly took it.
"The Doctor of course. Well to be fair, I commissioned him to make it." He answered, chugging the bottle within seconds. "I wanted to find more interesting ways to, uh, get rid of unwanted presences and he always delivered as long as I funded it." Pantalone didn't look you in the eyes when he said it. He handed you the water bottle which you kept back on the stand, alongside the rest of the empty bottles of water that he had been chugging down for the past few hours. You found the easiest method to heal others was using a consumable material. You picked another bottle out from a pack from the floor, expelling your magic to give it healing properties. You sighed, looking at Pantalone who watched your hands carefully as they lit up with magic droplets and rings of water.
"The poison itself didn't do anything exciting. He just went into a fit, stormed out saying it was too hot in here, and just passed out on the snow." You looked at him, disapprovingly. He looked up at you innocently. " Do you REALLY not have anything better to do?" He hummed, which was enough to make you sigh once again.
"The poison was not that exciting, but I'm glad I got to see you do something fun again." You glared at him and he returned it with another wide toothy smile.
"I want to kill you."
"Go ahead, make a mess of me."
#pantalone genshin#pantalone x reader#genshin x reader#fatui x reader#slow burn#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin impact x reader
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The villains want to embarrass the little robin (William Rex & Victor) - Story Event Premium End
All possible disclaimers are valid! I’m not a mother tongue speaker and I’m doing this just for fun. 100% accuracy is not guaranteed. Have fun!
When asked by WIlliam how she even knows about that, she explains that firstly, the major premise is that they would never carelessly expose someone else to danger. Furthermore, William has already acted as the Queen’s aid once, meaning that there’s no reason why he couldn’t do it this time, too. Her conclusion is that there was no real danger this time. Also, she has noticed that she hasn’t seen Elbert, Alphonse and Roger since the night before; are they on a mission related to Her Majesty? Victor happily claps his hands.
Victor: MC! How smart and insightful you are! Ahh, if I was allowed to, I’d crush you in a hug right now.
William: You’re right, MC. We knew that an incident targeting the Queen wouldn’t happen at the parade.
They recieved intel on a group plotting to assassinate Her Majesty for money; therefore, they spread false information concerning a double attending the parade in the Queen’s stead, and that the real Majesty was at an important meeting at Oxford.
Elsewhere, a gunshot resounds in the mansion where an important meeting is supposed to be held. The men who were planning the assassination are miserably lying on the dinner table.
Alphonse: Oh my, it ended up messing up the whole meeting place like this… this way, there will be no important meeting nor any other kind of shit. Right, Your Majesty?
The woman sitting on a chair removes her veil; it’s Elbert, who asks if it’s already over. Roger notes that this time all he had to do was sit down, but Elbert’s glad it went like that: he didn’t have to be careful about stepping on anyone’s shadow. By now, the parade must be already over, notes Alphonse, and Roger pities that they weren’t able to see Her Majesty MC. The real Queen Victoria was hidden in a safe place by Victor.
MC is relieved that Queen Victoria wasn’t actually ill. Victor apologises for keeping silent; after all, he wanted her to enjoy the life as a queen without any worries. William adds that though that is true, they also believed that she would find out by herself.
MC: Fufu, isn’t that a bit contradictory?
William: Ohh, I do not deny that there is a great deal of contradiction.
MC: Then, I will take it as a sign of trust from the two of you.
Still, they kept a secret! As a way of apologising, William invites MC out on a night date with him and Victor.
A few minutes later, she’s up high, on the roof of the Crown Castle. Then suddenly, William picks her up and starts moving from one roof to another (what in the fate series???). They run through the dense forest, cross the drawbridge, until they finally reach a roof with a view on the Big Ben.
Victor: How was your trip in the night sky, MC?
MC: It was so much fun! I’d like to fly again.
William: Fufu, you really do like bad things.
Victor: Girls who like bad things are welcome; otherwise, she wouldn’t get along with us.
They look down at the city of London, laughing together. It was a unique day that started with the two men’s proposal, but thanks to that, she has learned a lot: the Queen’s feelings and her determination, Victor and William’s first meeting… She thanks them for giving her a valuable experience. She’s still unsure of what her role as a fairy tale master is but she’s looking for what she can do for Victor, William and the Queen.
MC: May the Crown (freedom) shine on everyone’s head one day.
William and Victor: …
William: Fuahahah, Nostalgic isn’t it, Victor? Was that on our way home after finishing our first mission as Crown members? Victor told me:”I’ve decided, William. The name [the organisation’s] name will be Crown. What do you think? May the Crown shine above the heads of all who seek freedom someday”.
Victor: Every time I talk to you, I become more and more grateful about having you as the fairy tale master. Just like you poured your heart out to us, we want to do the same.
William: Yes, we will listen to your desires, cute little robin.
MC finds herself standing between two people smiling beautifully; just looking at them makes her feel like she can go anywhere, like she can do anything. She feels so happy that she doesn’t want the night to end yet. Victor asks her what is it that she wants right now, followed by William who repeats the question.
MC: Victor, WIlliam. Just a little more, with me—
She confesses her honest feelings to the self-righteous king and the aide of the queen.
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I’m seeing Hamilton stuff on my dashboard, and it’s reminding me of a big regret I have. See, back in 2016, I won cheap front row tickets to see Hamilton’s original cast twice. But the second time wasn’t as cut and dry, and involved me denying someone else.
The first time, my now wife and I just won the $10 tickets from the online lottery. We were living in NYC, so we had plenty of opportunities. We actually won the tickets the day they got their Tony nominations! We hadn’t listened to the soundtrack, and by the third song we were looking at each other asking “is this the best musical we’ve ever seen?” Naturally, we got super into it. I looked up all the Hamilton things. I planned a day trip all around the city, going to different important places related to Hamilton (his grave, his house, and the scene of the crime that led to him and Burr sharing a case). I listened to Chernow’s audiobook. I was ENTHUSED.
A few weeks later, I needed to get something looked at by Apple tech support. I went into Manhattan, and it was a Wednesday - they had the live Ham4Ham going on, I figured I’d drop by myself. Nice time, fun stuff! And then they started drawing winners, and an older woman next to me was also alone. She turned to me, and said, “hey, if you win, take me, and if I win, I’ll take you!” Sure, okay, right? I said yeah! Chances are super low, but why not double them? Well, then the woman won! So I was going to see Hamilton a SECOND TIME with the original cast! Front row! Super pumped! So the woman leaned in and asked, “hey, can you give me $100 for this?” I mean. Yeah. Kinda bad to ask after the fact, but at this point, Hamilton was at PEAK popularity and tickets were going upwards of $1000. I’m not sure the lady was even aware of this, but yeah. I’d pay $100 for front row, “I could pet Hercules Mulligan if I reached out just a bit” seats. I told her yes. And then I fucked up.
As we formed the line to grab the tickets, a young woman and her dad walked up to the lady. They looked to me like they were probably tourists. And apparently, she’d made the same deal with them. They were excited. The young woman, clearly also enthusiastic, thought she’d just scored her ticket. And then the woman who had won the tickets gestured to me and said “well, he said he’d pay me.”
What.
Guys, I froze. Fight and flight both completely failed to kick in and I went full deer in the headlights. I’d already had my chance to see the show, this was probably this girl’s one shot, pun not intended when I wrote it but fuck it it’s staying in. But guys. I wanted it bad. And I hesitated at doing the right thing. I didn’t immediately volunteer my ticket. And the young woman and her dad, giving me dirty looks, decided not to get into a bidding war, and quickly departed. The whole interaction probably lasted 30 seconds.
Once we were out of the line, I looked around. Maybe the girl was still around and I could give her my ticket? No, she wasn’t. I was kicking myself pretty hard for not acting when I should have. From there, I had to stick with the woman who had won the tickets until the show, so we had a quick cheap lunch together, where someone commented on how expensive Hamilton tickets were, and her price went up to $200. I said sure. I wasn’t going to say no at this point - but I was feeling awful. When we made our way back to the theater, I kept looking around to try to find the would-be ticket winners. I was very confident I would be able to recognize them - they’ve faded from my memory now, but at that moment, they were just SEARED into my mind. But no such luck. They had fully moved on. And so I got to see Hamilton, on Broadway, with the original cast, in the front row, for the second time. The woman who’d won the tickets was surprised that I knew the songs, which… surprised me?
And it was great! I felt terrible the entire time, but I mean, it’s a great show! I couldn’t, and still can’t, believe I got to see the show twice that way. At the time, I don’t think I even fully appreciated how lucky this was - I knew it was, of course, but the magnitude didn’t really dawn on me until I started getting reactions from people. I’ve heard a lot of incredulous shouts of “TWICE?!” since then. But when I tell my anecdote of unbelievable Broadway luck, I typically leave out the part where I unintentionally swooped in and stole something from someone else.
I know it doesn’t count for much, but I’d love to be able to tell that young woman that I’m sorry. She had no way to know either that this was my SECOND TIME. It’s 8 years on, and no one follows this dead tumblr of mine, but if somehow this reaches your eyes, I think you’ll know who you were. And I should have done better.
#hamilton#alexander hamilton#broadway#musical#ham4all#ham4ham#lin manuel miranda#i don’t know what tags people use
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the only instance i would ever believe aemond is the baby daddy is if one of the twins was aegon’s and the other aemond’s (doesn’t matter which). that way we can have double twisted half-sibling twincest. which is not completely unbelievable knowing the twins are fraternal 👀👀 like imagine that mess
Okay but imagine how the twins were conceived then because in my head, Aegon totally forced Aemond to be part of the Helaegon wedding night because he is an awful person (<3).
It starts with Aegon stating that Aemond should be present to ensure that they're 'doing their duty' (which they both know is more about Aegon actually doing his duty and also just a flimsy excuse for Aegon to get Aemond into the chambers with them).
OR it's actually Alicent's idea because we all know Aegon got shitfaced at his own wedding and somebody has to make sure he's actually doing what he is meant to do (rape his sister like a good big brother, god the fucked up-ness of this family knows no bounds).
And initially I can 100% see Alicent as the one being present during because she sure as shit knows no boundaries when it comes to Aegon (and she probably sees it as some kind of favour for Helaena? A small mercy, her mother being present and making sure she doesn't hurt too bad, shushing her and stroking her hair while Aegon is very much crying above her. But in reality, it's just super creepy and uncomfortable but that's par for the course with the greens).
But let's say it is Aemond who has to be there and watch, I can very much see him standing in the corner of the room somewhere, close to tears but resolutely keeping his eyes on Aegon and Helaena because his mother told him to bare witness and he's gonna do whatever his mother wants.
But then Aegon starts needling him about being a baby and a virgin, maybe he brings up the brothel incident (I personally believe that Aemond actually failed to have any sex, he probably was too scared/stressed to actually get a boner/stay hard long enough or have an orgasm at all).
And it feels like the brothel all over again, Aegon pushing at him and claiming he's 'helping' his little brother become a man or something and he's like 'I'll show you how it works' and fucks Helaena (who obviously has no say in any of this. Even if Mother never prepared her for a third person participating in their coupling, told her there should be nobody besides her intended seeing her like this, anything she might've said Aegon simply ignores and overrides by going 'But I am your husband and you shall do whatever pleases me' and well. What is she supposed to say to that? Even if he wasn't her husband, he's her big brother and he seems to know a great deal more about these kind of things).
Maybe Aegon is even 'kind' enough to let Aemond go first, claiming it's less scary because Helaena is also a virgin, you can't do much wrong with somebody who doesn't know how it's supposed to be either, isn't he being such a generous big brother? People would kill to spend a night with a tagaryen princess and here Aegon is, just gifting Aemond Helaena's maidenhead!
Either way, Aemond ends up having sex with Helaena and it's painful and uncomfortable because Helaena isn't really wet and Aemond stops being hard midway through but Aegon just pumps his dick until he's hard again and forces him too continue until he eventually has an orgasm that only leaves him drained and sad.
All the while Aemond's crying just like he did back in the brothel and Aegon laughs at him meanly and tells him to be grateful before fucking their sister much more brutal than Aemond did (and Aemond notices how Aegon takes Helaena from behind with his eyes closed the whole time when he made Aemond take Helaena on her back, holding his chin in place so he couldn't look away from Helaena's pained face).
And after it's over Aemond has to set his shoulders and go to their mother to report that Aegon 'performed his duty' without letting anything else slip because even if Aegon can be cruel, he would never betray his brother or endanger their sister like that (Aemond would probably feel some good old catholic guilt over 'defiling' their sister, especially if he had her first and Aegon definitely knows that and planned on it).
Anyway, because it's highly unlikely that Helaena got pregnant on the first try, this repeats and repeats until Helaena has her twins and nobody will ever truly know who got her pregnant, not even them, because Aegon always made them share Helaena <3
#Aegon really said: If I have to go through the traumatic experience of raping our sister#You have to as well#Aegon trying to lighten his own burden by completely traumatizing his little brother? It's more likely than you think#Aegon probably thinks there's some kind of companionship between him and Aemond now#like some fucked up version of brotherly bonding#like in his head he didn't force Aemond as much as Aemond did it so Aegon wouldn't have to do it alone?#If that makes sense#anyway poor helaena once again forgotten between her brothers and their fucked up relationship#helaegond#ask tag
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The Vlad × Harriet Chin pairings except they are happily married, sure Harry's Grandmother moved in with them and it turns out her grandmother is a Chinese Mystic who could one-shot Plasmius if she wanted to.
I think that could be fun! I may use some of this in Cleaning the Gravestones. I don't know if I could do Harriet's awesome Grandma justice, tho. I also feel I could slide real easy from 'badass Ancient Chinese Wisdom' to 'unintentionally racist', so:
If I did this, Grandmother would be a bit more like Constantine; a little Chinese mythology here, a little Roman Catholicism, sprinkle in some folklore from various mythos here and there.
Honestly, that would make her MORE dangerous. Somebody would expect some stereotypical Chinese (and there are dozens on dozens of Chines cultures!) mythology, and she'd whip out the holy water and prayer beads.
In Cleaning the Gravestones, Vlad would be fine. Not only does he adore Grandmother (and her food), but it's double protection for Harriet! In other fics... Well. Harriet will get over it.
I think she could be a way for him to figure out his ghost powers in this verse, tbh, because she knows so much general stuff. "You know, the ancient Vikings believed...", and experiment, and boom! Duplication!
Maybe Grandmother is sick & tired of her son's behavior (she is, after all, VERY happy when Vlad sets him on fire. Not behavior that indicates a loving family).
I think it would also be possible for her to want to keep an eye on the supernatural creature her granddaughter is dating. Only to accidentally get another grandson.
Grandma is completely prepared to destroy her granddaughter's boyfriend. And then she realizes she likes him more than her own blood son, and oops! Accidental adoption!
Grandmother: Harriet? When are you marrying him again?
Harriet: We've only been dating 6 months!
Grandmother: Excuses! I need great-grandchildren!
Harriet: *glares* Michael has 2, you can deal.
Grandmother: Fine! Kidnap Michael's kids, they count.
Harriet: No, Grandmother, that's a crime.
Vlad: Did somebody say crime?
Harriet has lost track of how many times her grandmother has borrowed Vlad for some chore, or to drive her around. But at least it's keeping him out of trouble, right?
WRONG! Vlad & Grandmother are running multiple scams, a flower shop (?), and now they've killed people. 15 Man-eating vampires, 2 sirens, a whole entire demon, and an asshole named Chet that both look very shifty about when questioned.
"Did you take my Grandmother to Vegas?"
"She wanted to! And you were away for 6 months!"
"There is a photo of her putting $100 bills into a stripper's thong, Vlad. It's in our apartment."
"She tips well! Anyway, guess who's rich now?"
"You won it honestly, right?"
"Mostly."
"Vlad!"
"She counts cards!"
Bonus: She starts introducing her grandson as Michael Chin, and Vlad as 'my Grandson once Harriet gets a move on.'
Thank you for the awesome ask!
#inthememetime#cleaning the gravestones#ask answered#this was an AWESOME ask!#vlad masters#grandmother Chin#harriet chin
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There's a hunt going on and it's for the five riders and that's what they're calling them and the vengeful ones too and the bikes look the same
It's not a popular thing but our son is wondering if it could be. And it look weird because they have two motors on each and he made a hard knock kicker 5150 pilot program and this is calling it and he's out with these little groups and they're saying if they like it or not they say they don't have enough power but it's still in tradition it's the smaller motor but doubled up equals only 500. You sold about 4 or 500,000 of them that's what you say because that's what it was in California and not only do they have two motors and people will commenting you know it's not like a huge deal but they're big and the size of the boss hoss at least but longer. And yes they're for large people and Thor Freya that's us are very pleased, he said he thought we were happy because it was like this Junior League bike it says no we want to be involved in the 5150 the look in your face is like when it was when you pull them out and now I'm starting to see something oh crap what did I say to you is it's kind of a bush League but you just leave it at that and have her own we like that but we like the fact that you said now you can ride and we need the help so we definitely need it there's a lot of us too and there's also Gu Oya and it's going on now that they're getting those bikes over there and riding around there's a lot of big black guys okay and they love them and they're about 3,500 and not much money and they're huge and the frame is solid as hell it's not our counseling no it is the cast one that's why it works it'll support up to like 600 pounds a rider it's awesome so he's sending tons over there and Gu Oya I'm working on this other idea to try and set up manufacturing there and from the start for the parts creation and pug mill and so forth because he says it'll be cheaper there the labor is really cheap and the getting the medals is much cheaper and they need all that and so he's looked at it and said we should have been doing this the whole time I'm doing something like that like the Briggs & Stratton is made there from the ground up and it's a wonderful thing it's working and he grew up doing it with our cadre and some of the max that's working out really well and Hera is smiling and she says where's mine and zigzag had one cuz I called him up and said she has to have one of the big ones and she pull it out just barely fit me it's almost big enough one more foot and it's true too it looks a little small no it looks just right and it is a great time. We're going ahead with this idea right now there's several movies we mentioned and he keeps forgetting to put them out there and she's going to try and do that I need some notepad to see her doing it and show that she's doing it so she's doing it now she's got moves to it up and sometimes it doesn't recall them right away they talk about a lot of stuff this is a great bike I love it
Thor Freya
We're glad to win the hands and we needed to but this is going to get us some more involved and a lot more involved and we love it it's the hand of God bike but it's our size and possessive should probably call it something else and he says that he's got one but he built it in his so and Odin's ride is the name of it as hand of God on top of that. And it is an awesome bike and tons of people want it they want to see him ride it too it's kind of about 300 horsepower believe it or not no it's about a hundred horsepower and about 100 foot pounds of torque which makes a big difference and really the biggest Harley only has about 80 horsepower and 70 foot pounds of torque and those are the ones we make it's big too it's a lot bigger than the big Harley and it's as big as a boss sauce but longer tons of people want it it's really really famous right now
Thor Freya
Hera us at the bottom
Zues
Yeah me again LOL
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*TW PERIOD MENTION*
If you're comfortable with this, could you do some hcs for the lords (but mainly moreau) with an s/o who gets HORRIBLE period cramps? Like they're literally writhing in pain and even after they take pain meds it's still miserable. Only do this if you feel comfortable of course, I totally understand if you dont want to do it❤
Hi, sorry folks, I bumped this to the top of the list, cuz I don't know if it's time sensitive for you, hope it brings comfort❤️ (Moreau's will have some extra)
TW: Period Mention, Reader is still Gender Neutral
Alcina Dimitrescu
Ah, she remembers those. She hasn't had to deal with one in a long while, due to her mutation, but even for her the experience was not pleasant.
This, however, looks very different.
Alcina cannot imagine the pain you must be in. You are curled into yourself on the couch, humming in an attempt to distract yourself from the pain, and you might try to hide them but she can see the tear tracks on your face.
Alcina takes care of you. Any of her day to day tasks can and will wait-- you are far more important. She doesn't leave the room unless you ask her to, and the Maids aren't let into the room unless it is to bring HER the things she needs to take care of you.
She will do whatever you need from her, no question. Cuddles, heated blankets, she will even read aloud to you as a distraction. Pro tip--her hands can get pretty chilly, and if you're someone who does well with ice packs, her hands work 100% better to cool off your skin.
Don't worry about her loosing control at the smell of blood--you are obviously in pain and she has far too much self control to let a little bit of blood bother her. (But depending on how hungry her daughters are, they might not be let in the room unless they have fed recently)
She will also use her contact with the Duke to find you a proper doctor. It's not normal for you to be in this much pain. Dearest, it doesn't matter if someone else has said there's nothing more to be done-- she's getting you a competent Doctor to get a second opinion.
Donna Beneviento
Donna is panicking.
Lady Beneviento is stressed the hell out by seeing you in pain--she hates it. You're lying in a pile of blankets on the floor, unable to be even the slightest bit comfortable because of the pain, and in such obvious agony that your hands are shaking.
Still, she's more than ready to make you feel better. Other than pain pills and more traditional treatment, Donna firmly believes in the power of distraction.
She will use books, movies, heck with your permission she might even use the pollen to craft a hallucination for you to help take the pain away.
(Ethan's encounter with the demon fetus was able to cause him enough harm that he felt it, Donna would definitely try to see if she could use her powers to trick your brain into not feeling as much pain)
She will also be attached to you at the hip, if you need space or can't be touched during your period, you need to tell her up front. She'll be very clingy when you are this miserable.
A little self indulgence here: while Donna does like her tea, she makes a KILLER hot chocolate. If chocolate brings you joy during your period, she has a constant, steady supply of it sent up to your room.
Salvatore Moreau
Salvatore engages Doctor mode immediately. For you to be in this much pain is both not normal and completely unacceptable. He's going to do his best to help.
This man absolutely used to be the Village doctor before his mutation, and as a result does Know His Shit. His siblings and mother may infantilize him to a certain degree, but that is mainly because Moreau's main issues are short term memory problems and his obsessive devotion to Mother Miranda that can make him regress. He's still competent as a doctor, and if he needs to reference anything, he still has some copies of medical textbooks.
He was also a Small Town Doctor, meaning he knows how to treat pain without access to traditional medicine, since often times he didn't have access to it.
It doesn't matter if you're not a tea person, you're still getting tea, made with herbs you don't know the name of and couldn't pronounce even if you did.
He doubles this up with more traditional pain relief methods like extra strength ibuprofen and heated compresses on the area. He might even talk you into doing a few exercises--it can help a lot with pain relief.
Still, when he's caring for you, sometimes he has to leave the room. He uses getting you a glass of water or another blanket as an excuse, but it's really so he can take a deep breath and center himself. Moreau is an empathetic man who loves you to pieces, and watching you cry silently into a pillow just...hurts.
Salvatore also does his best to distract you with anything he has on hand, mostly movies. While you two might normally playfully argue about which ones to watch, he will absolutely defer to you. I would recommend taking this time to watch a scary movie if you're a horror fan, there's literally no other time where Moreau would let you get away with it.
He is at your side constantly, and will only give you space if you ask for it. Even then, he will pop back in every few hours to check in.
Now for Fluff stuff: If you're not careful and watch him like he watches you, Moreau will run himself ragged trying to keep you comfortable.
The best solution to preventing this is coaxing him into bed with you. He might let out a couple of token protests, but one look at your pleading face takes all the fight right out of him.
He will cuddle up to you as close as possible and rub little circles into your back or stomach, whatever feels best. If you two are face to face, you can start to feel yourself relax in time with his breathing, and both of you slowly drift off to sleep together.
It's the best you've felt in days ❤️
Karl Heisenberg
Magnet Man is just... So lost...
You are writhing in agony in your bed, sobbing into a pillow, and so obviously suffering. He HATES to see you like this, because you're hurting and he doesn't know how to fix it.
Karl wants to hurt the things that hurt you, but when it's your own body rebelling against you and causing you pain...He wants to make it better for you but he can't.
He swallowed his pride IMMEDIATELY and called Moreau to the factory. Heisenberg might consider The Lord of the Reservoir to be a little slow in the head, but he used to be a doctor, and Karl is taking zero chances with your health.
He also pops by the Duke to pick up any kind of pain relief possible--Karl literally brings back 8 different brands of acetaminophen, hot water bottles, cocaine, opium, and enough alcohol to give an elephant a blackout. (Maybe he can get you to pass out long enough that you'll sleep through the worst of it?)
You will have to ask directly for cuddles if you want them--as handsy and clingy as Heisenberg is, he is so Bad At Feelings that he will just hover in the corner and work on projects to keep his hands busy. He doesn't know if you want to be touched, and is afraid to ask...but he really wants to keep an eye on you anyway.
#tw: periods#lady dimitrescu x reader#alcina dimitrescu x reader#donna beneviento x reader#salvatore moreau x reader#lord moreau x reader#karl heisenburg x reader#re8#resident evil village#karl heisenberg#donna beneviento#alcina dimitrescu#salvatore moreau#resident evil#resident evil 8
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Joking About Dating A Friend But They Take You Seriously
A/n: woohoo, we’re doing another one babbyyy! I’ll never get tired of these sorts of situations honestly <3
G/n reader
Team Captains (most of them~)
Kuroo Tetsurou
He was walking behind you, about to tap your shoulder, witty conversation starter at the tip of his tongue one he totally hadn’t prepared a day beforehand, only to be hit with you saying “Wow, look at you! A fantastic boyfriend i have indeed.”
Reals back, all thoughts flying out of his head
All internal excitement dissipates as panic and dread take its place
You had introduced Kuroo to the guy you were calling your boyfriend, saying you were only friends and yet…
How come he didn’t know? Him and you were close to each other, right? Had he been so deep into your smiles and pretty eyes that he had misread everything? Maybe he had made up the little signs that meant you felt the same
It was probably his feelings making him a lovesick fool
That thought stuck with him the most because that made him pretty delusional if he got everything this mixed up
He has so many questions rattling in his brain, pinning him down, that he doesn’t realize you’ve turned around and are staring at him
It takes your hand waving back and forth in front of him to startle him out of his trance
His panic doubles, voice strained
“Ahh, hey there kitten. What’s new?”
It’s missing his usual excitement and he sounds strangled, you notice right away that he’s also turned away from you
“Tets are you all good? Are you sick, I could get you some medicine if you aren’t feeling well?”
“What no, I’m not- you don’t have to do any of that, I’m better than I could ever be.” He chuckles and he knows he’s not being convincing in the slightest
“Huh, I’ll get the truth out of you in a sec, I’m gonna say bye to my friend and then we can go, okay?”
“Don’t you mean boyfriend.” It comes out before he can stop himself
The bitter tone is so obvious he’s tempted to bolt, maybe start over as a circus clown
He’s positive he could pull that wig off
Your voice is laced with laughter when you ask if he really does need to go see a doctor
“And what boyfriend?” You pause, smile growing. “Are you talking about yourself or what?”
Now he’s flustered and confused. It’s not like you didn’t talk like that with him but you had a boyfriend now didn’t you or was that..?
“WAIT EARLIER YOU-
He takes a deep breath, he could be wrong, he needs to stay calm
“We’re, we’re you just kidding around when you said your friend was, well ya know?”
You laugh again and explain, slightly embarrassed by the mishap, that yes you were kidding around
He feels all of his confidence come back and asks the question that leads to you two finally dating
“If that’s the case and the spot really isn’t taken, how about I become your boyfriend?”
Bokuto Koutaro
He. Is. Crushed.
Everyone around him can feel the tense atmosphere and looking at his face is like a punch to the gut with his heartbroken eyes, he’s staring at you like you’ve died instead of said you loved your girlfriend
All bokuto had wanted was to give you a quick hug before he headed off to practice
Instead he has to deal with the weight of knowing you’re with someone else, that and the realization that he needs to put away his own feelings so he doesn’t ruin your relationship with the person you love
He had known he liked you for quite awhile, it was hard figuring out a time he should confess or whether that would make you uncomfortable
He’s glad he never tried anything since it saved him from the possibility of making things hard for you, seeing as how you would’ve had to let your friend down
Bokuto looks at you closely, there’s a grin on your face as you stare at her and if you’re happy then he can live with this
That’s what he firmly thinks
And so pulling himself up with a smile, he walks over to you with a solidly convincing amount of energy
He talks excitedly and almost exactly like he would normally
What he’s saying doesn’t sit right with you though
His words are depressing and he looks like he’s forcing himself to talk like this
You stop him in the middle of a joke, that wasn’t all that funny with the sad way it was being told, and ask if he’s okay
His smile gets even bigger, and now you can see it’s clearly fake as he gives you some excuse about training being harder on him lately
You decide to wait and give him a little space, you assume he’ll walk off to volleyball practice, and later you’ll be able to talk with him about whatever’s going on
When he keeps talking and it becomes clear he’s not moving, stalling for time, you ask if you can talk alone with him
“Bo, is um, did something happen? You’re upset aren’t you?” You question him cautiously
“Nope! I’m just glad I get to talk with you, it’s not something I’ll be able to do as often since you have to spend time with your girlfriend and all!”
His smile finally slips as what he said hits you both
You’re quick in explaining the mistake now that you know what’s eating away at him
He can’t believe his luck when he hears you say it was just a joke, it’s too good to be true
But he doesn’t care, he’s just happy
Doesn’t even let himself process it all before he’s asking you to please, think about dating him
You’re both glad his smile is back to normal when you say you’d love to
Kita Shinsuke
Keeps it together like the seemingly impassive and parent friend that he is
Hurts so much more then he wants to admit
Doesn’t want to believe what he just heard but if you say that you have a partner, than those are the facts and he can’t change anything
But shit, does he wish he could
He’s standing right next to you, a step away and if he took it you would be pressed against his side
That’s an impossible reality, a fantasy he needs to put to rest now that he knows your feelings for someone else
That step however, is ungraciously closed when you trip backward from what appears to be your partner moving their foot as you had moved forward, resulting in you falling onto Kita
Instantly flustered by it and is feeling so betrayed by his body when he automatically puts an arm around you to keep you upright
He tries to be respectful as he removes himself from your side, it isn’t right for him to be that close to you, he’ll just have to push down the disappointment he feels from the lack of contact
“Kita-kun! I’m really sorry about that, my friend” you give a pointed glare towards the person of your affection. “accidentally knocked me into you.”
He gives a small smile at you, slightly unsure as to why you would address your partner as just your friend
If he’s being truthful, he doesn’t want to think about it anymore and that’s why he allows himself to shrug off the strange event
He acts like he always does in the next couple days, though the aggressive lilt in his voice that appears at any mistake he spots, gives away his frustration
His feelings are boiling over the surface and he realizes he needs to find a way to get over this
The best way to do that, he concludes, is to tell you his feelings so he can take the rejection and move on
A resolution that he puts into motion the next time he’s with you
He does it simply and tries to make it as small and meaningless as possible
“Thanks for listening to this, I know it must be difficult to deal with.”
You’re speechless and Kita wishes this could be easier but he steels himself for what’s about to come next
“I- Kita, I know you’re not and I apologize in advance, but are you a dumbass?” You’re expression is both mortified and happy and he really doesn’t know what’s happening
“I like you. I was messing around with my friend and I promise you, I will never be doing that again.”
Oh, Kita is so relieved and the first thing he does when you become official is pull you in for a hug
And he’s gonna keep pulling you in for hugs :3
Ushijima Wakatoshi
His surprise is on full display and he ends up staring at you so intensely you automatically come up to ask him what was wrong
Isn’t sure how to put into words how he feels at the moment
You are your own person, so he shouldn’t feel any right to being the one to call you his partner
Yet he can’t stop the disappointment from filling every part of him
Ushijima wants to be mature about this though, If you think that girl is good enough for you then he will live with the heartache
So he shakes his head and comes up with a small excuse for his behavior
He seems normal to most in the following week, quite and stoic, more silent around you than he’s probably ever been but nothing really out of place per say
However his annoyance with your girlfriend only grows when he sees that you are not being treated how most would in a romantic relationship
He’s had enough when he hears her tell you about this pretty girl she saw the other day
She’s all casual and smiles when she says it too
Walks over, taps your shoulder, and asks if you can talk in private
It wasn’t right and he was 100% calm when he explained why he thought you weren’t being treated right
And he definitely wasn’t a little jealous and using the way your girlfriend was acting as a way to see if he could prove he could treat you better
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t being completely rational when he was making his points as to why you should maybe, just possibly reconsider the whole dating your girlfriend thing
But the fact that she hadn’t held your hand was very important and he needed you to know that
He needed you to know that you shouldn’t have to listen to the one you cared for like that, speak of another person they found good looking, especially when the most attractive one was you
Ushijima doesn’t know how to take your silence when he finishes, and you seem… embarrassed?
Had he gone too far? Over stepped a boundary in his jealousy?
He was considering an apology for his rash behavior when you spoke up, though it was more appropriate to call it spoke down with the way you had your head lowered and voice quiet
“Toshi, did you mean all that?”
He’s not sure where this is going, he responds honestly regardless
“Yes, I meant it and I’m sorry if I insulted you.” He doesn’t apologize for insulting your girlfriend tho~
“Then you should probably know that I was only playing around when I said I was dating my friend. We’re not together.” You finally look into his eyes. “I’m pretty single and uh, if you really wanna help me in my dating problems you could date me, that’d fix them all.”
The slightest blush appears on his cheeks and when he reply’s with his yes, it’s almost like a happy sigh
He makes sure to show you how much he loves you everyday, he’s also still slightly bitter around your friend <3
Terushima Yuuji
Freaking out
He is having a hardcore internal screaming sesh
Walks away from you so he can pretend he didn’t just hear that
Also wants to make sure you don’t see him panicking
He finds a place where he’s alone, a field outside the gym he had been in, that is till he’d heard you talk to your boyfriend
Who was apparently, very entertaining if the way you had been laughing was any indication
Stands there, blank for a few seconds
Is so set on not crying over something like this because he knows that you’re amazing and shouldn’t be so surprised over you dating some other dude
He should go back inside and act like he always does, or maybe not since you are with your boyfriend
He’s being stupid, acting this overworked
It’s what he tells himself but he can feel a couple tears slip down his cheeks and there’s a sob bubbling up in his chest against his will
This didn’t feel fair
He wants to do something, he just doesn’t know what
Pretending he’s fine would be a good option if he could stop crying
It’s not looking feasible at the moment however
Takes a shaky breath and is coming to the decision he should leave you alone for now when he hears his name
Someone’s calling him, someone who absolutely cannot see him right now
He starts sprinting, but the thing about crying is that it’s pretty exhausting and before he knows it he’s gasping for breath, too slow to move out of your reach
“Terushima! Why would you-
You stare at his tear stained face, concern pulling your features into a deep frown and he desperately wishes he wasn’t the cause of it
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You ask the question softly, making it all hurt a little more
His eyes are closed when he replies. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty head with.”
“Whatever it is I won’t judge and if you want advice or someone to just listen I’m listening.”
“You, it’s really not..” he breaks. “Are you really with that guy?”
It’s none of his business, why’d he have to ask that?
Understanding lights up your face, and with the new information having connected the dots you move closer to him
“I’m not. He and I were joking, so please don’t cry.” He feels a hand wipe a stray tear from his face
“Would you maybe wanna go out sometime,” you laugh a little. “I hope I didn’t completely misread this, if I did I suppose we’d be matching.. and I wouldn’t mind so much if that was the case.”
He answers by grabbing your hand.
“That answer shouldn’t have been so cute, I’ll forgive you by taking you up on that date though.”
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x reader#kuroo x y/n#kuroo x you#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto kotaro#bokuto x reader#bokuto x y/n#haikyuu kita#kita shinsuke#kita x you#kita x y/n#kita x reader#haikyuu ushijima#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima x y/n#ushijima x you#ushijima x reader#haikyuu terushima#terushima yuuji#terushima x y/n#terushima x you#terushima x reader#me: I don’t really like ushijima all that much#the way I wrote ushijima for this:#me: …#me: are we reALLY DOING THIS TO OURSELVES#haikyuu angst to fluff
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To Infinity and Beyond: baby!Jack truthing Birthday Ficlet
Today already looked like the perfect day. Warm weather, the sun shining, the birds singing, all the usual qualifications for "perfection". And if Dean had anything to say about it, it is also going to be, the perfect day.
Because Dean had planned out everything. Tents and tables spread out in the backyard of their new house, enough hamburgers and hotdogs to feed an army, a giant sheet cake in the freezer, and it looked like a Party City catalogue threw up all over their house, both inside and out. Hell, he and Cas even got a bounce house.
Yup, today was going to be perfect, Dean thought as he surveyed the backyard. He was going to make sure of it, nothing was going to go wro-
"To infinity and beyond!"
And the next thing he knew, he had a recently turned four year old, barreling into his legs almost knocking him off the porch.
(read the rest under the cut)
He looked down to see Jack already dressed in his outfit for the day. A shirt with Buzz Lightyear's costume printed on it, complete with little cardboard Buzz wings (Cas made them), purple shorts with a purple tutu, and of course, his favorite Buzz light-up sneakers.
"I'd say that was a bit of a crash landing there, Mr.Lightyear" Dean laughed, as he bent down to right Jack's scribbled cardboard wings. Jack just ignored his reference, instead letting out an excited shriek as he took in the backyard.
Every tablecloth, plate, napkin, cup, balloon, and cardboard decoration was covered in Toy Story characters.
Toy Story, was the end all be all in their house, because they were Jack's favorite movies. So everything, was 100% Toy Story, 100% of the time, hence the party theme. And his favorite character was Buzz Lightyear, hence the costume.
"Dee where's your costume?" Jack questioned, after he finally recovered from the shock of seeing the, probably, overdecorated backyard.
"Yeah Sheriff Woody, where's your costume? It's almost one thirty" Cas called as he stepped out the backdoor. Cas was already dressed in t-shirt with Jessie's outfit printed on the front, her matching red hat, jeans and of course, cowboy boots which Dea-wait shit they only had a half an hour left.
And he hadn't even double checked th-
"The backyard and inside of the house already look incredible. Go on and get ready before everyone starts arriving" Cas smiled sweetly, knowing how worried Dean was about today.
"I will, after I chec-"
"Dean, I promise, I'll double check all the decorations, and the food. Me and the little space ranger have got it covered, right baby?" Cas supplied, looking fondly over at Jack.
"Yeah me and Da got it! Get dressed Dee" Jack cheered, as hopped down the steps and raced "flew" across the grass cardboard wings flapping behind him.
"Go get changed, cowboy. Everything already looks perfect" Cas teased, pressing a quick peck to Dean's lips. And then he was bounding down the steps towards Jack, warning him not to go near the bounce house.
So Dean reluctantly walked inside, forcing himself to ignore all of the things he wanted to check on, and instead making a beeline for their bedroom. He quickly pulled on his costume, but unlike Jack and Cas it was the real deal, not just a graphic t-shirt, Dean had the actual shirt, the vest, whole nine yards. Jack had asked if Dean would wear a real Woody costume and, hey who was he to deny his kid on his birthday?
So with a sigh, Dean made his way back to the living room so he could reorganize the snack table.
He wanted everything to be perfect today. Perfect for Jack because, this was his first real birthday party after all. And because Dean's oldest memory was of his fourth birthday, his last birthday party actually since it wasn't like they were throwing big family bashes on the road. No, birthdays were a box of cigarettes from his Dad (if he even remembered), or Dean sometimes scraping together enough money to get a cake for Sam's birthday.
Which is why today had to go smoothly. Because Jack deserved the world, he deserved to have a good life filled with memories of big family parties with fun decorations and food and laughter. And Dean could give it to him now, give him what he and Sam never had. So today had to be special, it had-needed to be perfect.
"Dean, I don't think Jack is going to care if the clouds are a little crooked" Cas pointed out, amusement dancing in his voice as he walked into the living room.
Dean huffed a laugh, but didn't stop his mission to straighten out the paper "Andy's Room" clouds taped to the wall above the table. Cas just sighed as he gently pulled his hand away from the wall, turning Dean towards him.
"Dean I know how much you want to make this day absolutely perfect for Jack, believe me I do too. But he's going to love every single second of it. He's practically bouncing off the walls already, and the party hasn't even started yet" Cas assured as he squeezed Dean's hands.
"I know, I know. But he deserves to have the best damn birthday. Especially after everything and he's just- Jack shoul-" Dean started, only to be cut off by the sound of the doorbell.
"It's Uncle Sammy and Aunt Eileen! Can I open the door, please?" Jack called from down the hall, asking for permission.
"Yeah buddy, you're allowed to open the door. Let them in" Dean shouted back, unable to help the smile pulling at his lips when he heard Jack enthusiastically telling them about "all the cool decorations".
"See? Jack is already loving it! Now relax, and enjoy the party, cowboy. Everything is going to be perfect" Cas smiled as he made his way down the hall to greet Sam and Eileen. But not before giving Dean's ass a little smack.
A few hours into the party everything was smooth sailing, and Dean had only been scolded for readjusting some decorations four times. The kids Jack invited from his class were having a great time, as where their parents, which was especially great because not a single one of them managed to see a member of Dean and Cas’ family discreetly place their weapons in the spare bedroom (Dean wasn’t a fool, it was a party full of hunters, he wasn’t just gonna make a no weapons rule because what if something happened?). So then Dean and Eileen manned the grill like champs, Cas and Garth kept an eye on the kiddos in the bounce house, Sam had handled the Buzz Lightyear shaped piñata perfectly, while Dean organized the kids, making sure Jack was the one to break it. The sun stayed shining, the birds kept singing. Everything was perfect.
Until it wasn't.
And it was all Dean’s fault.
Dean's stomach dropped as he stared down at the now smudged faces of Woody, Buzz and half of the green aliens. Because Dean just smooshed the entire left side of the cake while trying to take lid off.
He just destroyed the most important part of the party, the part Jack was most excited about. Now Dean just ruined everythi-
"-come in star command, do you read me?" Cas joked, completely startling Dean, because how long had Cas been standing there?
"Dean, what's wro-oh" Cas sighed as soon as he caught sight of the cake.
"I friggin smooshed the whole thing with the lid. It's destroyed we can't-the party and Jack and-" Dean rambled, heart pounding against his chest, while Cas took the life from his hands and gently set it on the other side of the counter.
"Dean, stop it's okay breathe for me. It's just the cake. It's not your fault. It's still edible, we can fix this" Cas soothed as softly cupped Dean's cheeks in an attempt to ground him.
"Hey are you guys alri-oh shit" Eileen gasped as she and Sam walked through the kitchen door, which caused Dean’s heart rate to pick up again.
"It's okay, it'll be fine. We can try to scrape some of it back together with a knife" Sam offered, quickly moving Dean and Cas to the side so he could get at the cake.
But it only made the faces look completely unrecognizable.
"Damnit, what are we gonna-"
"Dee! Can we have cake now?" Jack asked as he came racing into the kitchen, and Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen quickly huddled in front of the counter to hide the cake from sight.
"In a few minutes squish, we're still uh-getting it ready" Dean managed plastering a wide, hopefully convincing smile on his face.
"Why don't you go jump around the bounce house again, buddy?" Sam suggested, which had Jack nearly bolting out of the kitchen again with a nod
"Make sure one of your aunts or uncles, or your friends' parents are watching you!" Cas called after him, which only got a tiny "okay Da" in response.
They all let out a breath when they heard the backdoor slam, and quickly turned to look at the offending cake again.
"It's not that late, what if one of us runs to store and see if they have ano-"
"They won't, we ordered this specia-"
"And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere" Claire joked as she entered the kitchen and quickly surveyed the mess before her, eyes widening when she spotted the cake. And Dean normally would have teased her the reference but he was too busy, freaking the fuck out, so he chose to ignore it.
"What do we do? We can't fix this, there's no time it's completely rui-"
"Wait, dude calm down. I have an idea, hold on a minute" Claire proclaimed, and swiftly exited the kitchen, which did pretty much nothing to calm Dean's panic. In fact he was getting desperate.
"Do you think Rowena might have a spell-"
"That's not how magic works. But honestly Dean, I'm sure Jack won't even notice-"
"The kid can recite the entirety of Toy Story 2 from memory and you don't think he's gonna notice Woody is missing his entire head?"
"Alright, start grabbing the Toy Story figures and wash them off. Then we can put them all over the cake instead, and cover up the horrifyingly smeared faces" Claire ordered as she came back into the kitchen with Kaia in tow, and box of Jack's toys in hand.
And Dean could have cried from relief (he did).
"Holy shit Claire you're a genius" Dean praised, as he quickly began sifting through the box.
"I know, I know. Now c'mon, I want cake"
And a few minutes later everyone was gathered around the dining room table, singing a completely off key rendition of Happy Birthday. Jack was seated in the center of it all, with a half smooshed, slightly lopsided, plastic figure covered cake, with Dean and Cas crouching on either side of him. Jack hadn't even commented on the completely smeared face of Woody or Ham, he was just clapping along, bouncing in his seat. In fact, he the biggest smile Dean had ever seen on his face, and he teared up at the sight.
"Blow out the candles and make a wish, baby" Cas encouraged, and Jack attempted to do just that. Only succeeding when Dean secretly helped blow out the candles for him.
"Yay! To infinity and beyond!" Jack shouted again, as he stood up and jumped on his chair. The room easily erupted into laughter, while Charlie and Jody each snapped pictures from across the table.
"Alright Lightyear, let's not fall with style into the already smooshed cake" Dean joked, as he quickly stabilized Jack, which only caused everyone to burst into more laughter.
So, Dean scooped up Jack, sitting in his chair and placing him on his lap, while Sam offered to cut up the cake. And Cas took plopped down in the chair next to them, sliding him and Jack a plate.
"Are you having fun at your birthday party, baby?" Cas questioned as he handed Jack a plastic fork.
"Yeah! Claire jumped in the house with me! And Danny and Sarah and me played in the sandbox! An-and we played tag, and Aunt Donna played too! And the cake has all my friends on it, see!" Jack rushed out all in one breath, stopping to point at the now sliced cake. By "friends" he of course meant his actual Toy Story figures of course. But before Dean could even react to any of that, Cas was whispering in Jack's ear, and pulling away.
"Thank you for all the party things, Dee!" Jack beamed as he turned and threw his arms around Dean's neck.
And Dean's heart clenched as he tightly wrapped his arms around his kid, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. He looked back up to see Cas smiling widely at them, so Dean whispered something in Jack's ear too. And then Jack was off flinging himself around Cas' neck.
"Why doesn't all the family get together, I can take the photos" Marissa, the mom of one of Jack's friends offered.
And soon the three of them were surrounded by their family on all sides. Everyone laughing when Marissa suggested they all say "yeehaw" instead of cheese. Jack giggling when Claire zoomed over, and bent down so she could smoosh their faces together for the obligatory "silly face" picture. Dean quickly swiping icing on both Cas and Jack's noses, causing Cas to tip Dean's cowboy hat and Jack to shove a handful of frosting on Dean's cheek.
So maybe it wasn't the flawless, smooth sailing birthday party Dean had planned. But the weather stayed warm, the sun still shone, the birds still sang. His family laughed, and ate and had a blast.
And Jack looked about as happy as they had ever seen him, as he ran around the yard with his friends and played games with his family. Dean would even go as far to count it as a complete success. Especially since Jack asked Cas, "when can we have a big party again?", as they tucked him into bed later that night.
So as far as Dean is concerned, it was the perfect day.
Tag list:
(please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!!💛)
@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149
@shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26 @multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x @wellofwoes @becky-srs @multi-fandom-dark-lord @perfectkoaladream @castiel-for-lunch @it--hurts--to--become @bowtiesandneckerchiefs
@dakiaty @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @hrh-princess-bea @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @ethicalbitch @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @milfcodeddean @seraphcastiel @seraphlm
#toy story 2 IS jack's favorite movie i will not be debating this. he is a boy of taste#dean and cas are secretive and dont trust the mail ahshdha#this is so self indulgent toy story 2 is my favorite movie of all time#this is based off when my parents accidentally smooshed half of the cake at my 3rd bday party and did exactly this asfhajdhah#so this is literally just a bunch of toy story references i apologize for nothing i had to hold myself back from making even moRE#de and da supremacy because its both parts of 'daddy' and he started calling them that when he first started to talk but it stuck#also its written from deans pov bc i couldnt write from actual 4 year old jack's pov so i apologize for that#HES FOUR!!!!#baby jack truthing#baby!jack#happy birthday jack!!!!#dean winchester#castiel#sammy#eileen#claire novak#destiel#destiel fic#bec writes#nougatparty#dad!dean#dadstiel#userzaddy#seraphcastiel
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half baked - pjm | m
baby we two distant strangers. i know you don't speak my language, but I love the way she's talking to me - love talk, wayv
↳ summary- park jimin gets a job at your bakery, and you can’t help but find yourself annoyingly attracted to the cocky man.
↳ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw
↳ pairing- park jimin x reader
↳ word count- 5.2k
↳ genre- smut, fluff
↳ warnings- penetrative sex, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk, lightly dom!jimin, sub!reader, slight enemies2lovers, sex in a kitchen, please god don’t fuck in a kitchen its a health code violation, spanking, nipple play, cum play, fingering
↳ a/n- ahHH!HHHHhhh!H! i blame this 100% on @wwilloww for merely putting the idea in my head and i had to take it and run with it. also thank you to @kimtaehyunq my babe/my loml for the amazing banner! i truly do not deserve u but ily so much. and thank you to @chimoona @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @taetaewonderland for being the best mf squad a lady could have and beta-ing this for me! i love you all so much! i hope you enjoy silly cocky jimin!
Two cups of flour, one and three quarters cup sugar, 2 cups of butter.
You know the recipes by heart. In fact, one might postulate that the recipes themselves are the sole contents of your heart.
You live and breathe baking. It is your solace and your truest love.
Which is why it is all nearly thrown into catastrophe when Park Jimin comes into the picture.
It starts on a rather busy day. You’re hard at work in the kitchen, prepping the finished products and presenting them in neat little boxes, when your best friend and co-owner of Wake ‘N Bake, Willow, lets out a frustrated squeal.. You turn your head to find her covered head to toe in flour, making you snort as she shoots you a playfully ominous glare.
“Shut up,” she sniffs as she attempts to pat some fine dust off of her, to no avail. “I only have two hands and about fifty things to do with them at the same time.”
Your lips part to reply something equally sassy when the bell over the front door rings, notifying you of a paying customer. Grabbing a towel, you quickly wipe off cookie debris and throw it at your best friend to do her best to clean off as she follows behind you.
You pause as you take stock of who stands there. A handsome man arrives at the cash register and peers around, presumably looking for an employee. He is gorgeous—ethereal even and looks like someone who walked out of the pages of a magazine. His bone structure screams model, and you can’t help but feel the stirrings of desire for the beautiful stranger.
“Hi! Welcome to Wake ‘N Bake!” Willow sings cheerfully, despite being coated in baking flour.
The man eyes her with a glint of humor in his eye, and Willow’s cheeks turn a hue of pink when she remembers her current appearance.
“Hi,” he speaks. His voice is smooth like butter, and gentle. It makes you feel weak, like you’re warming in the very ovens that your pastries rise in.
“I saw your shop from down the street and I had to stop in. Your desserts look amazing. Is the owner here by chance?”
Your smile fades as he looks around the room for someone else, someone beyond you and your best friend.
Of course.
No one believes that two young women could start and maintain their own business. Everyone assumes that some older, well-off man was at the helm while you and Willow toil for minimum wage.
Your arms cross over your body in clear displeasure.
“We are the owners.”
“Oh!” The man looks surprised but not put off. “Awesome. I was hoping I could… talk to you about, err—… a job?”
His face is sheepish and Willow nearly coos at the sight.
Unfortunately, it appears you and your best friend have warring ideas.
“Yes!” She chimes at the same moment you dead-pan a resounding ‘No’.
Your heads spin to stare at each other—Willow’s eyes wide in disbelief and yours in annoyance.
“We need the help!” She huffs.
“We can do things on our own, like we always have,” you remind her.
Willow gestures to her flour covered clothing in desperation.
“We clearly could use help with how successful we have gotten!”
To your chagrin, she has a point. It might be nice to have someone to help in the front while the two of you manage the kitchen in the back. It would increase your productivity by double what you’re able to do now.
But there’s something about his attitude coming in that rubs you the wrong way. Like, he’s too pretty. Too confident. Too nice.
“What’s your baking experience?” You ask as you turn back to the hopelessly lost, yet ever eager man.
“Oh, err—,” he stutters. “I worked at my friend Jin’s restaurant. That served desserts, too?”
You shake your head in disdain while Willow claps her hands in excitement, a puff of white flour dust pluming into the air.
“Perfect! So you could do sales!?”
“Yeah! I can do sales, no problem.”
You turn your gaze back to Willow who stares at the man like he is her knight in shining armor.
“Willow?! Can I talk to you in the back?”
She knows that tone—the one that tells her you’re not pleased with her decisions. She nods once and politely excuses the both of you from the man before heading back towards the kitchen.
“What in the world is wrong with you?!” She asks the moment the swinging door closed.
“Me?!” You’re incredulous—hands flying in the air. “You’re over here trying to hire the first Joey Hot-Lips who walks in off the street!”
Willow’s anguished face falls and turns into a devilish smirk as she leans back on her heels.
“Aha! You’re attracted to him,” she notes as if she figured out the world's greatest mystery. “That’s why you don’t want him here.”
“What? No!” Your defense crumbles around you. “Did you hear him? He totally acted like he didn’t believe we could be the owners!”
“Oh, come on, that was a simple mistake and you know it! You’re just being protective.”
You ‘humph��� a non-committal response—unable to argue.
You are protective of your bakery. It’s your combined love child with Willow. What started as a dream between cocktails with your best friend became a real brick and mortar reality. You had been through enough trying to open it you can’t help but feel skeptical of anyone trying to get involved. Many tried to discredit your ability to maintain such a successful shop, and you’d rather continue to run it with no one else than see it fall at the hands of another.
“Just as I thought,” Willow hums. “In that case, he’s hired!”
You’re given no chance to reply—the flour-covered girl pushes through the swinging doors and announces to the handsome man that he’s hired and free to start the following day.
“Great! Thanks!” His smile is sincere—blinding and breathtaking, and you hate how much you want to see that smile again.
He leaves as quickly as he arrived, waving goodbye as he exits the chiming door.
“Now, you need to deal with whatever issues you have about letting others into the shop,” she says pointedly, pushing a finger into your arm gently. “And whatever issues you have with wanting to bone him.”
“Willow!” You gasp. “I do not want to bone him!”
“Sure, babe. You think you can fool me but I know you too well. Just try not to fuck him in the kitchen, alright? I don’t need the health inspector up our ass.”
The next early morning starts at 4:30 am, with you elbow deep in cookie dough for a catering order. You’ve nearly forgotten about the new employee starting until the man himself strolls into the back kitchen as if he’s worked there for years.
“Hey!” He says cheerfully, two cups of coffee in his hands. “I got you a coffee. Willow said you’re a nightmare without some in the morning.”
Your eyes narrow at the man. It’s unfair how delicious he looked so early; while you look like a frizzy mess who rolled out of bed and walked into work (which you did), he looked polished and crisp and clean. It’s infuriating as much as it’s glaringly attractive.
“Thanks,” you mutter as you pick cookie dough off your hands and pull off your plastic sanitary gloves. “Every girl loves hearing she’s a nightmare.”
He chuckles behind his steaming cup and places yours on the workbench next to you.
“Those were her words, of course. I’d never call you a nightmare.”
You easily flush, then chastise yourself for allowing him to make you feel so weak so early in the morning.
“To be fair,” he continues. “I don’t even know your name.”
“___,” you sigh as you grab the coffee and bring it to your lips. “And you?”
“Jimin. Park Jimin.”
The first sip of coffee is like a soothing hug. He somehow knew how you took your coffee—two creams and two sugars.
“I didn’t know how you liked it, so I just guessed.”
“Good guess.”
Jimin smirks and looks proud of his accomplishment.
“You seem like the type of girl who likes balance to her sweetness.”
You stare at him curiously over your own steaming paper cup, unsure of what to make of his comment.
“Good morning to the love of my life!” Comes the voice of your best friend entering through the back door.
You roll your eyes in amusement as she teeters in, peppy and perky as she always is this early.
“Oh! Hi, Jimin.” Her cheeks turn a familiar shade of rose as she realizes he heard her. “I didn’t know you were here yet. That’s just a… thing we say to each other every morning.”
“Cute.” Jimin smirks at you, making your stomach lift with unwanted butterflies. “Where do you want me?”
Underneath you, beside you, above you, any possibly way...
You shake your head quickly to push away the sexual thoughts of the gorgeous man taking you from any position. No, you refuse to let your mind wander there.
Willow finishes washing her hands and putting on her apron before she nods to the fridge.
“If you can get the milk, eggs, and butter out, we’ll use you for creaming.”
Your cheeks heat impossibly as Jimin smirks even wider.
“Oh, I’m fantastic at creaming.”
Your hands pause from where they massage dough while you close your eyes and breathe, before lifting to glare at your best friend who wears a faux-innocent look.
“I’m sure you are, Jimin,” she chimes virtuously, before getting to work.
The next few weeks were a haze. You’re so caught up with graduations, birthdays, weddings and major events that your time spent at the shop overtakes your time sleeping, breathing, existing in any way that isn’t baking.
Even Jimin was busy. Despite your initial hesitancy, he was proving to be an excellent third member of your team. He’s a pro at sales—you’re sure his good looks and the mostly female clientele helps—and he pitches in in the kitchen without fail. He even tries his hand at decorating cakes, with only one frosting-based spill. You would never give Willow the satisfaction of telling her outright, but she made an excellent decision in hiring the dazzling man.
But it doesn’t stop your annoying heart from fluttering every time he comes close to you—rubs elbows as he helps you roll out dough or smiles at you from across the workbench as he stamps out sugar cookies. You refuse to allow yourself any thoughts on what it would taste like to lick dough off his fingers or how he would look bending you over the countertop to take you from behind.
You only allow such thoughts at night, safely tucked into bed with your vibrator cranked to the highest setting.
It doesn’t help that Jimin solidifies himself in your life by introducing his handsome and dopey best friend Jungkook to your gorgeous and clumsy best friend Willow. The moment they laid eyes on each other, you knew you were doomed to have Jimin in your life with or without the bakery.
And you weren’t sure how to handle that notion.
Was Jimin flirting with you simply because you were there? He seemed to have no problem flirting with the customers. Sure, the shop has never made more money than when Jimin works his charms and seduces women of all ages to buy the extra cookies, cannolis, and cakes—not that you watched or glared or hated every second. No, of course not. It was for the good of your business and the angry jealousy demon inside you would need to stay firmly locked away.
Except, it’s on a particularly crowded day at the shop that your jealousy gets the best of you.
You’re up front assisting Jimin by boxing and bagging the treats he rings up.
You know he’s flirtatious, but it’s when he goes the extra mile for an extra pretty girl that you lose your cool on him the moment the customers leave.
“Do you have to eye-fuck every single co-ed that walks in this place?!”
Your hands fly up in frustration, and Jimin watches you with a soft gaze.
His silence and knowing smirk makes you continue.
“Seriously? What the fuck was that about?! You’re acting like you’re about to bend her over right here in front of us! Jesus!”
Willow hears the commotion from the back and comes forward.
“What’s going on here?” She asks suspiciously.
You point towards Jimin who maintains his poised demeanor.
“I’m reminding Jimin that work is not a place to sexually engage our customers!”
Willow rolls her eyes as she pulls her apron off and grabs her coat from the hook.
“Whatever, you’re being ridiculous. Jimin’s never been inappropriate. Plus, he’s making us a fuck-ton of money,” she sighs. “You two can close up without killing each other right?” She eyes you in particular.
You cross your arms and huff, glancing at the clock to find you have two hours still until closing. “Why? Where are you going?”
Willow’s annoyance fades away as if it never existed.
“Jungkook is taking me to the Museum of the Printing Press!”
You can’t help but choke a laugh while she pushes your arm.
“Shush! You know how much I love them! And he totally surprised me with tickets!”
Willow can’t shake that lovesick look in her eyes and your heart melts a little. She’s your best friend and you’re thrilled she’s found someone who wants to indulge her in her nerdy fascinations.
“Go have fun, babe,” you smile sincerely. “We can take care of closing. Now, go fuck on a letterpress or whatever!”
Willow snorts and hugs you tight, bids goodbye to Jimin, and exits the store.
Now that your quick anger is gone, you feel sheepish around the man who has yet to reply to your tirade—but you refuse to stick around under his piercing gaze.
“I’ll be in the back,” you mumble under your breath before slipping into the kitchen before he can get any word in edge wise.
You spend the rest of the evening monologuing an apology as you prep ingredients for the next morning and clean your workstations. The shop is closed, doors locked, and Jimin is somewhere at the front of the house finishing his duties.
“‘Hey, I’m sorry for the way I acted’,” you practice out loud. “Hm—no, not humble enough. ‘Hey Jimin, I was a real bitch’, too degrading? Maybe something like, ‘Hey Chim, can I call you Chim? That was fucked up, wasn’t it? Haha.’ God!” You throw your rag down in a huff, frustrated at your inability to form a decent apology.
“You can call me Chim, if you want,” a voice speaks from behind you.
You squeak in surprise and turn around, clutching your apron in your hands as you find Jimin leaning against a wall with a smirk on his face.
“Only my closest friends call me Chim, but I think we’re close enough.”
You swallow hard and nibble at your lip.
“I’m assuming you heard that whole… thing,” you mumble anxiously. His nod confirms that he heard your entire play-by-play of the apology you would deliver to the handsome man.
“Yeah,” he licks at his lips. “You know, you’re really cute when you’re jealous.”
“J-jealous?” You nearly trip over your own tongue. “I wasn’t—, I’m not jealous!”
Jimin begins a slow approach towards you, striding as he keeps his sparkling eyes on yours.
“Oh?” He quirks his head, making his soft hair fall into his face. You desperately want to push it away, cup his cheek, kiss those ridiculously plump lips.
He can tell you’re staring at this mouth and it makes his smirk turn nearly feral.
“So, you weren’t jealous? Not a single bit?”
He inches closer and you can feel your heart tighten in your chest and your stomach twists in on itself in excitement, in nerves.
“N-no,” you whisper, unconvincingly.
“You didn’t want to be the one I was making eyes at? The one who ‘gets bent over the counter’ as you said?”
“I—,” Jimin cuts your words short as he stands a breath away from you.
“I guess if you weren’t jealous, then I don’t have to tell you you’re the one I really want to bend over the counter.”
You’re sure your heart stops beating—positive that it will fall from its place in your ribs into your feet.
“What?”
Jimin cups a hand to your cheek and smiles as he steps even closer.
“If you’re not jealous, then I don’t have to reassure you you’ve got nothing to be jealous over.”
Your lips run dry, throat parched as if you’ve never had a sip of water. Jimin is standing so close to you you can feel the heat coming off of him in waves.
“Jimin—,” you breathe and he continues forward until he presses you against the countertop and crowding you into the metal and wood.
“Tell me you were jealous.”
You gulp, eyes seeking his for an answer, for any information. Is he playing you? Does he know you’re hopelessly attracted to him? Does he find it humorous to tease you when Willow isn’t here to insert herself into your flirting.
“I was jealous,” you admit slowly. The words are hard to release, but once they do, the floodgates open. “I wanted to be the one you flirted with. I was jealous because I want to be the one you notice.”
Jimin smirks, then pulls your face in quickly for a heated kiss.
His lips are just as plush, just as soft as you imagined. They’re puffy and sweet and he tastes like one of the treacle tarts you made that morning. He must have had one with lunch, and you find yourself addicted to the way he tastes with your creations on him. You wonder what he’d taste like with your arousal coating that tender, plump mouth.
He bites at your own lip and tugs, chucking under his breath as you mewl your desire at the slight hint of pain.
“Fuck, you’re so hot when you’re angry like that,” he breathes as he presses his forehead to yours. “I nearly popped a boner while you were yelling at me. I could tell you were jealous, and it made me want you more.”
It’s hard to hear him speak so candidly—it makes you groan.
“Jimin—fuck,” you sigh. “I’ve been attracted to you since you walked into this goddamn place.”
He smirks and snags your lips up in another desperate, yet quick, kiss.
“I know. It’s why you didn’t want me to work here.”
You grumble after he pulls away, tired of the teasing and wanting nothing more than to stop talking and start doing.
“I didn’t like you because you assumed I wasn’t the owner.”
He smiles and rubs at your arms, a softer expression crossing his face.
“No, but I hoped you were.”
It’s silent for a moment and you let his words wash over you as he continues.
“I was attracted to your authority. I could tell you were important here somehow, just didn’t know in what way.”
You swallow your growing guilt. You had clocked Jimin entirely wrong.
“Jimin, I’m sorry,” you start.
“Hey, hey, I already heard your apology, remember?” He smiles. “Although, I could think of a great way to mend the wounds if you’re interested. No pressure.”
His soft smile becomes a devilish grin instantly and your body lights with instant arousal.
“What did you have in mind?”
His lips press to yours again and you nearly lose yourself completely in his embrace. Your arms circle his neck and he holds you tight at your waist, before pulling away from you, yet again.
“I happen to be very good at creaming, if you’ll recall.”
You can’t hold back a snort of laughter, that quickly gets covered by Jimin’s hot lips, one’s he will not pull away from you any time soon.
“You want to, right here?” You ask as he trails a hot line down your throat.
“Yeah, do you?”
You vaguely remember Willow’s threat of not fucking in the kitchen, but find you can’t seem to care an ounce.
“Fuck yeah, I do.”
Jimin needs to hear no more. He pulls you close and kisses you with the remaining amounts of pent-up passion and emotion he feels for you. He’s grown to love the way you take charge, the way you move through the building like you own the place—because you do. He loves the power you radiate and wants nothing more than to make you give up that power for a single night, to him.
“You wanna do this… all the way?” He asks, re-assuring himself that he’s not throwing himself at his boss.
“I want you, Jimin. I want you to bend me over this workbench and fuck me until I’m crying for more. Please.”
He grins and lays a hand on your neck, fingers tracing the gentle lines.
“I might not let you boss me around,” he warns.
“Take control.” Your eyes are blazing with need. It makes him smile, and he gives the moment a slight pause.
“Then, get on your knees and show me just how sorry you are for yelling at me.”
You’re sinking to your knees quicker than you can comprehend. Jimin is almost thrown at how instantly you caved and submitted to him. He watches as your eyes stay fixed on his and your hands work at the button of his tight jeans.
“That’s right,” he murmurs. “Right where you belong. No one else.”
You preen—heart warming at the idea that you’re the only one he wants kneeling before him and tugging his cock out of its confines.
It springs forward, and it pulls your gaze from Jimin’s magnetic eyes. It’s long and thick, just like you suspected all those nights with your vibrator stuffed where he should be. Your mouth waters at the sight and you lean towards it to mouth at it gently—pressing soft open-mouth kisses to the tip.
“Oh, shit,” Jimin gasps. Your fiery mouth feels like heaven on his cock. It’s something he’s equally dreamed about—spent many nights fisting his cock to the thought of you.
You take your time, licking tiny stripes around the head and down the shaft, until Jimin becomes weary of the teasing.
“Please, take it all.” His request is so genuine, so needy, that you’re loath to deny him.
He slips into your mouth with ease, slicked up just enough by your trailing kisses that he slides in and hits the back of your throat in seconds. His eyes close as he feels his cock-head hit the back of your throat—a tighter and more constricting feeling in your already impossibly tight mouth. It feels like absolute bliss, and he’s gasping for air after mere moments of you holding him inside your mouth to the hilt.
He doesn’t need to speak; you know what to do. Your mouth works him in and out, tongue swirling around any open real estate of his cock. His moans echo around the tile of the kitchen walls and he’s sure that the sight of you on your knees with his cock disappearing in and out of your mouth will have him cumming in no time.
He steels himself, makes his body behave because he wants to enjoy this and the way you feel. As good as your mouth feels, he’s desperate to know what it’s like to slide into that cunt he’s spent too many nights dreaming about.
“Oh, fuck,” he whines as you make delicious, slurping noises from the gathering saliva. It’s a wet squelching sound that makes him even harder than what he believes is possible—all blood in his head now completely rushed to his dick for his pleasure.
“B-Babe!” He calls as he feels his balls tightening. He doesn’t want to cum, not yet.
He grips your head by the scalp of your hair and pulls you off his cock that is seconds away from losing control.
“Please, I’ve got to fuck you,” he nearly begs.
You wipe at your mouth with the back of your hand and smirk, licking the tip of his cock teasingly before standing up to his full height.
Jimin’s hands fly to your expensive leggings that you insist on wearing to work while he kisses you. The kiss is feverish, frantic. It’s full of tongue and teeth and desperate moaning against each other as he pushes down the pants and delicate panties, and cups your cunt in one hand.
“Oh fuck,” you whisper against his mouth as the pad of his finger slides against your clit.
“You’re fucking soaked. All from sucking my cock?” He’s cocky and sucks a mark onto your neck as he massages the bundle of nerves.
“Don’t be arrogant now,” you warn with a smile.
He presses his tongue to your ear and licks a stripe and chuckles.
“I think you like it when I’m arrogant. Your pussy sure seems to like it.”
He emphasizes his words by slipping two fingers into your channel and fucks into you, scissoring you open. He cuts off any chance for you to retort by launching his lips back to yours and prowling around your mouth with his tongue.
His fingers are small but fill you so deeply, and you’re sure his hand is drenched with your arousal.
“J-Jimin, please,” you gasp as you pull your mouth away to breathe in deep. “Please, just fuck me already.”
He growls into your ear.
“I thought I told you you’re not in charge.”
He spins you easily until your back is pressed to his chest. He grabs the hem of your shirt and lifts, throwing the shirt away and quickly making work of your bra clasps to join the shirt on the floor.
His hands cup your full breasts and you can’t help but whimper at the feeling of his soft and warm hands. He feels so good against the chilled skin of your chest and he tweaks and thumbs your nipples until they stand perky and erect.
“I’ve always wanted to bend you over this counter,” he muses in your ear as he pulls a nipple harshly. It makes you squeak out at the pain, then moan as the pain turns into a sizzling, pleasurable spike that runs through your veins.
“Every time I would catch you staring at me, I just wanted to fuck your cute little throat until you were gagging around me.”
Your eyes close as he continues his abuse on your perky nipples and whispering his deepest thoughts about you.
“I wanted to lift your cute dresses and eat your cunt until you’re wailing loud enough all the customers can hear.”
“Jimin,” you nearly cry. “Please, fuck me.”
You can feel his hardness lining up behind you, rubbing at your sodden folds to cover his length in your slick juices.
“I like it when you beg.”
He kisses at the juncture of your neck before letting his teeth graze over the spot and bites down—right as he pushes your face down to the workbench and slides his cock into your spread heat.
He bottoms out easily. You’re soaking wet and he buries himself to the hilt in one fluid motion. He groans out loud—stunned by the heat and wetness of your pussy and how tight it grips him.
“Oh, holy shit,” he gasps as he gives himself and you a moment. His hands grip at your waist, one hand coming to rub the tender skin of your supple ass.
“Jimin, fuck, you’re so big,” you whine.
He brings his hand up, then slaps it down on your ass hard, hard enough that the crack echoes around the large kitchen. You cry out in delight, in pain, as the reverberation of the stinging wraps around you.
“Fuck, you take me so well, princess,” he whines as he sets a pace. Your ass meets his hips and claps with each thrust, and he punctuates every few pumps into you with another hard slap to your ass. He wants you screaming his name, crying out for him loud enough that the neighbors know who he is.
He’s relentless in his pumps—gripping your hips tight as he fucks you deep and senseless. Your eyes roll back into your head at how well he works your body. Your tits rub raw against the wood of the workbench and you’re weeping fat tears of pleasure as Jimin continues his plight.
“God, I’m gonna cum, baby,” he warns. “Cum on my cock, princess.”
You slide a hand down to your clit, eager to add the ultimate piece to what makes you unravel. He grins and pumps into you harder, slaps your ass repeatedly until he knows it’s going to leave bruises.
“That’s right, baby, rub that pretty little clit,” he urges. “God, I can’t wait until you you sit on my face and let me eat this fucking cunt for hours.”
You blubber a response of desire, nearly begging him for more and more, as you swirl your fingers around the tight bundle. You’re peaking towards the summit of your climax, ascending to a point you’ve never gone before.
“Fuck, Chim!” You scream. “Gonna cum!”
Your warning falls on deaf ears—you’re cumming and pulsating around his thickness instantly and Jimin moans mix with your own to create a symphony of pleasure.
“Good fucking girl,” he coos. “Your cunt is so good to me, baby. Mmph—let’s frost this cake, now.”
Instantly, he’s groaning as he pulls his cock free from the vice-grip of your cunt and jerks himself twice to completion, allowing his hot seed to splatter against the tender flesh of your ass where he’s left a clear print of his hand. The warmth soothes the battered skin and you shake your ass teasingly as he continues to stroke himself through his climax.
“Ohhhhh, my god,” he breathes as he finally comes down from his high.
Your face is resting on the cool surface of the wooden workbench as your breathing slowly settles back to normal.
“That was fucking good,” you whisper with a smile. Jimin bends down to press soft kisses to your spine, before grabbing a towel to gently clean his cum off your beaten ass.
“Willow’s going to kill you for fucking me in the kitchen,” he warns with a laugh as he kisses the same spot he came on.
“It takes two to bake a cake, buddy,” you tease.
He laughs and brings a hand down to your untouched asscheek, making you squeal with delight.
“That’s not how the saying goes, but sure, doll.”
The next morning, you’re hard at work making a five-tiered wedding cake with Willow at your side, when Jimin throws open the door.
“Good morning to the loves of my life!”
Willow chokes on her own air while you hide a giggle behind your cake covered hand.
Jimin approaches the pair of you while she splutters and gasps.
“What?” What happened last night after I left?”
Your cheeks heat and Jimin wears a face of pure cockiness.
“Oh my god,” Willow gasps as her eyes open wide, snapping your tender ass with her rag. “You did NOT fuck in my kitchen!”
© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.
taglist - @preciouschimine @nyamjinnie @unicornnomore @bangtansbun @theneighborhoodfangirl @cyberbunny21
#bts smut#bts jimin#bts park jimin#park jimin smut#bangtanarmynet#jimin smut#bts fluff#bts au#bts alternative universe#bts jimin smut#heartsforbtsnet#ficswithluv#bangtan smut#bangtan jimin#park jimin#bts imagines#bts fics
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you’ll always know me || aaron hotchner x reader
Summary: "I would have stayed... If you asked me to.
After your high school graduation, you left without saying goodbye to Aaron Hotchner, your best friend, and nobody had heard from you since. Years later, you're back in DC, and catching up with Aaron brings more than you could have possibly hoped for.
Warnings: mentions of weed
A/N: I really wanted some soft Hotch content in my life after all the angst in my best habit, and this is about as soft as I can get. Inspired by Taylor Swift's "dorothea". Honestly, I was listening to evermore, blacked out for about three hours, and this is what came from that. There is no other explanation for this. It's written differently than my usual style, but I hope y'all like it still!
read on ao3 || masterlist
~~~~~~~
“What’s got you in such a rush?”
Rossi eyes Aaron carefully as the latter circles around his office, double and triple-checking that he didn’t forget anything. The last thing he wants is to have to come back to the office and cut his day short.
Aaron shoves a few case files in his briefcase. “An old friend from high school is in town and I’m meeting up with her.”
Rossi perks up at the word ‘her’ and he leans against the door frame. Aaron notices this, too, because he shakes his head quickly. “It’s not like that. We both got sent to boarding school for being problem children and we became quick friends. I haven’t talked to her since graduation. She just packed up her stuff and left the very next day.”
“You sound bitter,” Rossi points out.
“Not at all,” he lies, trying to forget the hurt of running to your dorm for your weekly breakfast together, only to be met with an empty room and a singular polaroid. “I knew she hated it there and her goal was to travel and see as many places as she could. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s back stateside at all. Last I heard, she was doing some art apprenticeship in Italy, but that was years ago.”
“You sound like you have a long evening ahead of you, so I’ll get out of your hair. And have some fun tonight, Aaron. You deserve it,” Rossi adds on as an afterthought.
The corners of Aaron's mouth lift slightly. “I will. Try not to let the building burn down while I’m gone. Reid is back on his physics magic kick, and I think I heard something about a lighter.”
Rossi gives Aaron a two-finger, half-hearted salute in acknowledgment, which is all it takes for Aaron to shut his office door and head towards the elevator. Knowing that you’re just outside, he has to make a conscious effort to slow his pace from an excited jog to just an anxious speed walk. The elevator ride is slow, seemingly stopping at every single floor on the way down, which gives his mind ample time to wander and think back to graduation day.
“There you are!” Aaron shouts from across the football field as he runs up to you, shoving through bustling groups of families trying to take pictures. He has so many stoles and cords and leis around his neck that you can barely see the suit he’s wearing underneath his gown. It’s a stark contrast to you, with only a singular chord for academic achievement, although a 3.2 wasn’t much of an achievement in the eyes of most people at boarding school.
“Here I am!” you laugh, throwing your arms around him in a hug and breathing in the smell of his cologne.
“Where’re your parents? Didn’t they come?”
“Of course they didn’t. They’re not ones for celebrating something as trivial as high school graduation, not when it’s just expected of me.” You roll your eyes. “What about you? I thought you and Haley were going to do the whole ‘meet the family’ thing today?”
Aaron is oblivious to the bitterness in your voice, although that’s nothing new. “We are, but I just wanted to give these to you.” It’s then that you notice the bouquet of flowers in his hand, although it’s now being pressed into your arms. “As a congrats. And a thank you for being there for me this whole time. You’re my best friend.”
You try to ignore the ache in your chest at his words. “Thank you, Aaron. I… I didn’t get you anything, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he waves it off. “If you want to get me something, breakfast is your treat tomorrow.”
“Okay, deal,” you agree, the smile coming back to your face. Selfishly, you don’t want him to go back to Haley or his family just yet. You want him to stay there with you so you don’t feel so lonely in the crowd of happy graduates. “God, I can’t believe you’re staying in D.C. for college. We always talked about getting out, seeing the world and never coming back.”
Aaron shrugs, and you watch as he brushes away a piece of his hair that falls into his face. “I’m hoping that going to GW for undergrad will make it easier to get into law school there.”
“And Haley Brooks is still here for another year,” you point out, half accusatory.
“Yeah, that, too.” Aaron chuckles uncomfortably before quickly switching the conversation. “What about you? Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
“There’s an art school in Glasgow I’m thinking of going to. But, you know… George Washington also has an art program. It’s pretty nice, too. I’m still deciding.” You trail off, looking straight into Aaron’s eyes, giving him every chance in the world to make the decision for you.
Aaron hesitates, fighting an internal battle. “Go to Glasgow!” he says, fake enthusiasm in his voice, but your disappointment blocks out anything but his actual words. “Then I’ll have an excuse to visit Scotland.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was leaning towards, too,” you lie. “Aaron, I—”
You’re cut off by a voice calling his name. You both turn around to see Haley Brooks waving him over, her other hand holding 7-year-old Sean’s hand. She looks like spring personified, her blonde hair in bouncy curls and her pink sundress swishing around her long, slender legs. Her smile is so big that it could have parted storm clouds, and you want nothing more than to hate her with every single fiber of your being.
But then you see Aaron, returning her megawatt smile with his own, one you rarely ever saw, and how can you hate somebody who makes him so happy?
“I have to go, I’m sorry,” he says, although there’s not even a hint of regret in his voice. “But I’ll see you for one last Sunday breakfast tomorrow?”
“I’ll see you then,” you lied.
How Aaron could have missed the signs of your unhappiness, he’ll never know. At that time, all he knew was that you left without ever saying goodbye, leaving behind only a polaroid of the two of you from your weekend trip to Virginia Beach, both of you drunk and laughing with your arms wrapped around each other. He still has it, buried in his nightstand somewhere, but he hasn’t had the courage to look at it for a few years now.
As Aaron steps out of the FBI building, he recognizes you instantly, even though it’s only the back of your head, and it causes his breath to catch in his throat. He calls your name and watches as you turn around, your hair whipping around you, and the fact that you still have that same mischievous glint in your eyes is enough to make him feel like he’s sixteen again and nervously skipping class with you holding his hand and pulling him towards the school gates.
“Aaron!” You jog up to him and throw your arms around him in a hug, which he happily reciprocates. You press a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling away, and Aaron’s entire face burns.
You keep your hands on his biceps, holding him at arm’s length, as you study him. He looks almost exactly the same as he did all those years ago, with soft hair and the slightest bit of stubble, but he looks less carefree. He seems more mature, like life had aged him 100 years. Still, as cute as high school Aaron was, it had nothing on how good he looks now. “Look at you, Mr. FBI, all suit and corporate-looking! I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Yeah, I guess I’ve changed quite a bit,” he admits, and the sight of his dimples makes you want to melt right there into the sidewalk. “It’s really good to see you again. I’ve missed you.”
“Oh, I’m sure you barely thought about me,” you joke, but hurt flashes through your eyes.
Aaron wants to argue, to tell you that he thinks about you all the time, but decides against it. He doesn’t want to spend the precious few hours he has with you bringing up old issues. “Are you hungry? Because there’s this diner a few blocks down with giant milkshakes.”
“Why are we still standing here, then? All you had to say was milkshakes, they’re my favorite.”
“I know. I remember,” he says, and that all-too-familiar pang in your heart comes back like it had never left. “Come on, we can walk and cut through a park.”
The two of you start your walk in comfortable silence, listening to the bustling city around you. Every once in a while, your hands would bump into his, and you were doing everything you could to ignore it.
“So did you ever go to that art school?” he asks suddenly, looking over at you.
You nod, a soft smile forming on your face. “I did. You were right, I loved Scotland.”
“Where did you go after that? Nobody heard from you.”
Your eyes sparkle as memories of your life the past few years flash through your mind. “Everywhere. Literally. I took a bunch of odd jobs and spent my time traveling,” you admitted. “I taught English in Vietnam for a year, worked on a cruise ship that went around South America, was an au pair for a French ambassador, went on research expeditions… Even dated a pilot for all of six months. Anything I could do that would let me see the world.” You laugh to yourself, shaking your head fondly. “I really put that private boarding school tuition to good use, huh? My parents were pissed.”
“It sounds like you were living the life you dreamed of,” Aaron says softly, looking down at you.
“It was,” you agree, your voice a little sad.
“So then why are you back here in DC?”
You shrug, your hands clasped behind your back, and you step down on a particularly crunchy leaf. “I’m just passing through. I’ve been going around the US and looking for a place to settle down. Finally. Figured I might as well put that art degree to good use. Maybe I’ll open a gallery or something.”
Aaron nods slowly as the chill of autumn runs through his bones. It’s nice, though, in a weird way. He’s always preferred the fall over spring. “Where have you looked so far?”
“Lots of places. San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Atlanta, San Antonio, Miami… I’m heading up to New York next. Nothing’s felt right so far. But enough about me, how are you? I heard you married Haley Brooks.”
That same bitterness you felt in high school when you talked about Haley comes back with a vengeance. It’s unfair, and you know that. How was Aaron supposed to know that you were practically in love with him in high school if you never told him? Even now, you’re sure that he hasn’t put together the pieces.
You watch as his gaze falls slightly. “I did. She died a few years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, and you reach out to give his hand a small squeeze.
“We got divorced a little while before it happened,” he explains, unsure why it’s so important to him that you know that. “I blamed myself for it for a long time. But I’ve, uh… I’ve made peace with it now.”
You give him a comforting smile, fully aware of the fact that you’re still holding his hand. “Aaron Hotchner, making peace with something in his life? I never thought I’d see the day.”
Aaron chuckles and bumps his shoulder to yours. “I’ve been known to do it a few times. But only a few. Haley and I have a son, though. His name is Jack. He’s 8 now.”
You shake your head in disbelief, and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “And you’re a father? Wow, you really have changed.”
“Is that a bad thing?” he asks, and you shake your head wordlessly.
“I like every version of Aaron Hotchner,” you promise. “Besides, change is a good thing. Especially since this city hasn’t changed a bit.”
Aaron looks around, eyebrows furrowed, like he’s seeing DC for the very first time. “It’s actually changed quite a bit. But it’s subtle. Only people who have been here as long as I have would even notice it, probably.”
The words cut through you both as a painful reminder of your abrupt departure from DC, and the silence settles over the two of you like a thick fog. This conversation was going to have to happen no matter what, you knew that going into this meeting with Aaron, but you didn’t expect it to happen so soon.
“I would have stayed,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “If you asked me to.”
Aaron shakes his head as his Adam’s apple bobs. “I thought about it. But I couldn’t do that to you. I knew you wanted to see the world, and you said it yourself. This city had nothing left to offer you.”
You pause, rubbing your thumb over your fingertips with your freehand. “It had you,” you reply, and Aaron feels like he was just stabbed in the heart. “That would have been enough.” Seeing Aaron’s dejected face, you quickly keep talking. “But I get it, don’t worry. You were head over heels for Haley Brooks. Everybody knew you two were meant to be together.””
“What does that have to do with you leaving?” he asks, more accusatory than he intended.
“Everything.”
Aaron breathes out your name, unsure of what to say until he settles on: “I’m sorry.”
You wave him off, forcing a laugh. “Don’t be. I was 17 years old with a crush. We do stupid things, like want to stay at home for a boy. I’m glad I left. Besides, Haley Brooks was clearly the love of your life, and far be it from me to try and break up the golden couple.”
The two of you stop in front of the diner and you drop Aaron’s hand, much to his disappointment, although you’re still close enough to him to see your reflection in his brown eyes. “I didn’t know you felt like that about me,” he says.
“Which is surprising, because everybody else definitely knew. But you’ve always been a little clueless when it comes to stuff like that,” you tease, flashing him a toothy smile. “But it’s in the past. So come on, I want to hear about this FBI stuff and drink a milkshake so big it makes my stomach hurt.”
Twenty minutes later, you and Aaron find yourselves smushed together in a corner booth covered in cheap vinyl, splitting a chocolate milkshake and laughing as you stroll down memory lane.
“You know, I ran into Stephen yesterday! A little coffee shop not too far from here,” you tell Aaron.
Aaron almost drops the fry he was about to eat. “Do you mean Stoner Stephen? What is he doing back here?”
You take a sip of the milkshake, and Aaron’s gaze is intense as you wrap your lips around the straw. When you pull back, he’s still staring at the soft pink your lipstick leaves behind. “Apparently, he’s lived here for years. Also, did you know he’s crazy smart? Like… graduated 4th in our class, went to Brown undergrad and Columbia graduate, smart.”
Aaron’s eyes go wide in disbelief. “And this is the same guy who, completely sober, tried putting his mattress in the pool so that he didn’t have to sleep in his own dorm?”
“The very same one. He’s like a lobbyist now or something for some activist group.”
“Wow, I did not expect that. Do you remember when he got so high that he thought his joint was going to catch the dorms on fire?” Aaron asks, the words barely discernible through his laughter. “So he warned campus police that the whole school was going to burn down.”
“Yes!” you giggle, your head thrown back in laughter. “They thought it was an arson threat and they had to evacuate the whole school. I was taking an English final during that.”
Aaron’s shoulder pressing against yours makes a shiver run down your spine. You idly wonder how much closer he can get to you if he really tried.
As if reading your mind, Aaron turns towards you a little more so that your knees are touching and you can feel his breath on the side of your neck. “We went to the beach that weekend,” he says quietly, unwilling to break eye contact with you. “Drank cheap beer. You got stung by a jellyfish. I had to carry you back to the car.”
No, no. You were not about to fall for Aaron Hotchner’s charm again that easily. Not again. It took you too long to get over him the first time. Still, you were leaning closer to Aaron, and Aaron was leaning in towards you, and your noses brushed as you tilt your head to the side ever so slightly and—
And his phone rings. Aaron’s eyes flickered to your lips one last time before pulling away, giving you an apologetic look.
“Hotchner,” he answers, and you pull your coat tighter around yourself as realization sinks into you. You feel like you’re 17 again, desperately waiting for Aaron to ask you to prom, only to hide in your dorm for days on end when he asked Haley Brooks.
When Aaron hangs up, he immediately reaches into his pocket to pull out his wallet, setting enough cash on the table to cover the tab and tip. “That was work. We have to fly out to Arizona. I’m sorry.”
You nod understandingly. “Gotta catch the bad guys. When do you leave?”
It’s silent for a few torturous moments before he finally answers. “An hour, at most. We brief at the office and then get on the plane.”
“Wow,” you breathe. “You weren’t kidding when you said that you live out of your suitcase. Can I walk back with you, at least?”
Aaron smiles, a small smile that makes you wonder how often he actually smiles now. It used to be a lot, but from what he’s told you, it seems like he’s had a rough go of it the last couple of years, and has a lot less to smile about. It makes you sad because when you were traveling the world, his smile was the one thing you missed the most.
“I’d really like that.”
The two of you make small talk on the way back, swapping stories about Jack and your various adventures around the globe. The autumn air is crisp with leaves falling all around you. At one point, there was a big gust of wind, and leaves and pine needles got blown onto the two of you, and you took your sweet time running your fingers through his hair, bushing it all off him.
When you get to the entrance of the FBI building, neither one of you says anything. You just stand there, both unwilling to say goodbye. You turn to face each other, just as close as you were in the diner booth.
“Oh, you have a…” Aaron delicately reaches his hand to your hair. His fingers in your hair make your stomach do flips, and you’re almost positive he can hear your racing heartbeat. His eyes stay trained on yours the entire time, never blinking. “Pine needle,” he whispers, holding the offending object between his fingers.
“Thanks,” you breathe, and you’re not sure if it’s the autumn chill or his hand reaching to cup your cheek that sends goosebumps throughout your body.
As if he were magnetic, you rise onto your toes, bringing yourself closer to him, and you press your lips against his. Aaron deepens the kiss and runs his thumb across your cheekbone. His other hand wraps itself around your waist. The kiss is slow and sensual and better than anything you could have dreamed of — and you dream of Aaron kissing you more often than you’d like to admit.
All too soon, the two of you pull away from each other, both wearing matching smiles.
“I should probably… get in there… before my team sends out a search party,” Aaron says reluctantly, pointing towards the entrance.
You give his hand a soft squeeze. “Go save lives. I’ll probably be around for a few more days before heading up to New York. If you’re back by then.”
Aaron purses his lips, deep in thought. “You’re definitely settling down somewhere? Done with seeing the world?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Have you… Do you think…” Aaron takes a grounding breath, trying to gather the words he was too afraid to ask back at graduation. “Have you ever considered settling down here? There’s a pretty big art community here.”
You shrug, ignoring excitement building in your chest. “I think my work is a little too experimental for the people of the capitol.”
“You’d be surprised,” he chuckles.
You bring your lower lip between your teeth, chewing nervously at it. “I don’t know… I left for a reason. I just don’t know what DC has to offer me anymore.”
Aaron spreads his arms out at his side, palms facing you in an uncharacteristic display of vulnerability. “There’s me,” he offers, and, when your eyes go wide, he adds, “And Stoner Stephen, if I’m not enough.”
A laugh bursts out of you uncontrollably, which seems to put both you and Aaron at ease. “That makes it a very tempting offer,” you tease.
“And I have a coworker who flips houses. He’ll be able to tell you where to get the best deal on an apartment,” Aaron presses as if you need any more convincing. As if your mind isn’t already made up.
“First, I need to know that there’s more than one good place to get milkshakes,” you point out, shoving your hands in your coat pockets. “You’ll have to show me around when you get back.”
Aaron’s lips quirk up in a hopeful smile. “It’s a date.”
He makes his way towards the entrance of the Hoover Building, but you call out his name, stopping him once more. “We’ll also need a new Sunday breakfast place. Since our old one is closed down.”
Now, his smile is one of pure joy, and his eyes are sparkling in a way you haven’t seen in years. “I know just the place. As long as you don’t up and leave without telling me again.”
“Never again,” you promise, and for once, the idea of staying doesn’t terrify you.
“Then we’ll get breakfast together as soon as I get back.”
You smile at him, already missing the feeling of his lips on yours. “I’ll see you then.”
#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x y/n#criminal minds fanfiction#my writing
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Update for the fake quarantine dating au, which has now become the “fuyumi is fucking done after like 20 years of this shit and is now just going feral” au:
To recap, Hawks and Dabi got stuck in quarantine together for several weeks because both of them are high risk. Dabi was on the background of one of Hawks’ video calls, causing Hawks to have to lie about having a boyfriend, information which was then leaked to the public.
Because they were bored gay disasters, Hawks and Dabi played into this and Dabi did makeup so he could do a livestream for Hawks’ fans. Hawks was a flustered mess the entire time, and it was actually going fine until Fuyumi and Natsuo saw and recognized their long lost brother.
Dabi, being a fucking mess of a human being, faked his death a second time, only this time it was Hawks’ fake boyfriend who died, since he doesn’t want to deal with his emotions. Only, Fuyumi has the Todoroki conspiracy gene, and refuses to believe it. She ends up stalking Hawks, recruiting Miruko (who has a crush on her, and also doesn’t know who she is), finding out about the league of villains, and then accidentally joining the league of villains with the help of Twice, as she’s looking for her long lost brother.
So here we are, in this insane situation. Hawks and Dabi are the only two people who know that 1) Fuyumi is a Todoroki. 2) She’s looking for Dabi, who she hasn’t recognized as Touya yet. The rest of the league knows she’s looking for her brother, but don’t know who she is or who her brother is.
Fuyumi, as it turns out, is actually good at being a villain. She starts out rather hesitant, but obviously still has to play her part. Her strategy is basically ‘fake it till you make it’ and by god is it effective. Not only is she smart, knowledgeable about heroes, and a good planner, but she’s also really good with getting the villains to actually stick to said plans. Turns out years of working with children pay off after all.
The more she settles in, the bolder she gets, and the more she realizes that Shigaraki isn’t actually that committed to being a villain, and like, is fairly open to suggestions. As such, she starts slowly pivoting the league from pure destructive activities, to more constructive attacks.
Fuyumi: “Okay, hear me out on this, what if instead of attacking the same group of school children minding their own business a fifteenth time, we target corrupt government officials instead?”
Shigaraki, hesitant but intrigued: “... I dunno, I swear someone said that attacking a singular group of school children was the best way to be a villain.”
Fuyumi, using her Teacher Voice: “How about this, why don’t we try the government officials, and if you decide you don’t like it, then we can go back to the other plan?”
Shigaraki: “... Okay fine, I guess we can try it your way.”
The heroes are incredibly confused about what’s going on, because it seems like the league of villains suddenly shifted goals, competency levels, general moral codes, and nobody knows why.
Hawks, is having a fucking time, because he’s morally torn on a number of levels. Some of the ‘corrupt government officials’ being targeted included people who were involved in his own raising, and people who assigned him to this mission. Dabi has been slowly cuing him in on how fucked up his situation is, but Hawks still feels conflicted on the people who made him a hero. Not only that, but now that he’s dating Dabi and trying to protect Fuyumi, he has to lie to those same people about some parts of the league to keep them safe.
It doesn’t help that the league is steadily becoming less morally objectionable to him under Fuyumi’s guidance.
Also, it really doesn’t help that during this time, Hawks has started working side by side with Endeavor.
While dating his son, who Endeavor believes is dead.
While Endeavor’s daughter, who Endeavor believes to be a kindergarten teacher, is someone that Hawks sees regularly during fucking league of villains meetings.
Hawks avoids Shouto like the plague because he’s terrified of what will happen if another Todoroki child gets wrapped up in this.
Also at some point there’s a hero conference to discuss the changes happening within the LOV/PLF and Endeavor is leading it, while Hawks has to sit right next to him for several hours and not say shit while everyone around him speculates wildly.
Hawks is having about 3 mental breakdowns at once and the only reason he makes it through that meeting alive is because Miruko keeps jumping in to bail him out and pull attention away from him.
Actually, Miruko has been just amazing recently, buying his excuses without a second thought, offering him alibis, and defending his weird behavior. It’s weird though, she’s been acting a bit funny too. Maybe she’s seeing someone? Hawks thinks that must be what’s putting her in such a good mood.
Miruko is also dying inside, although a lot less than Hawks is because she still has no idea that she’s currently dating Endeavor’s daughter, who she helped infiltrate the league of villains. All she knows is her girlfriend is amazing and is single handedly saving thousands of lives, and Miruko has only been dating her for like two months but she may or may not be already trying to guess her ring size.
Dabi is just trying so hard to come up with excuses to not be around Fuyumi, all while trying to also keep her safe, get her to give up on searching for him/being a villain, keep Hawks’ cover from being blown, and then everything else going on his life.
Shigaraki by this point has 100% figured out that Hawks is/was a double agent, but doesn’t actually care because he makes Dabi happy. That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to pretend to be suspicious anyways, because fucking with Dabi and Hawks is fun and honestly he doesn’t much else going on his life.
Alright, that’s not entirely true, he actually does have the whole ‘being a villain’ thing going on, and also Fuyumi and Toga have been encouraging him to put a bit more effort into his appearance, so he’s been learning how to dress nicely and do hair. When he’s all cleaned up, he hardly even looks like the same person. But besides that he doesn’t have a lot going on in his life.
Or at least, he doesn’t until one day Fuyumi’s younger brother, a very dashing young man by the name of Natsuo shows up looking to check in on his sister. He has no idea who Tomura is, but is very polite and friendly, and even a bit flirty because unlike his brothers, Natsuo is a functional gay and can ask a guy out without needing to pine and dance around him for 4-8 business weeks.
Tomura may or may not have panicked and introduced himself as ‘Tenko’. He also may or may not have panicked and said yes when the guy asked him out. Agreeing to a second, third and fourth date were all conscious choices, just bad ones.
Fuck.
#dabihawks#Miruyumi#fuyumi todoroki#dabi is touya#natshig#natsuo todoroki#tomura shigaraki#bnha crack#mha crack#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha hawks#hawks#takami keigo#miruko#rumi usagiyama#the league of villains#the paranormal liberation front#Paranormal Liberation Front#bnha#mha#sif speaks#fake quarantine dating au#family dinner is gonna be fun#my headcanons#the lov
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Fate and Phantasms #200
Wow, what a milestone, huh? It feels like only yesterday we were building Mash. Didn't even know you could grab multiple fighting styles back then. We were also one person back then. Things change. Things change even faster when you have magic eyes that let you bend anything you can see, so let's hurry up and build Asagami Fujino already. She is a Quandrix Sorcerer to tear apart anything she lays eyes on, as well as expand her field of vision beyond what her eyes can see. Dangerous combination, that.
Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!
Next up: In the dark of the night, evil will find you! (If Rasputin ever become a playable character I am really going to regret using that one here.)
Wait, what's that...
Race and Background
No surprises here, Fujino is a Variant Human, because normal humans can't tear people apart with their mind. That means she gets +1 Dexterity and Charisma, as well as proficiency with Perception (kind of her deal) and the Tough feat. HP isn't just how much body you have to get hurt, it's also how badly getting hurt affects you. Fujino's deadened sense of pain means she can take hits and keep going, purely due to the fact that she doesn't realize she should stop. That means you're getting an extra 2 HP each level.
Fujino is a schoolgirl, so the closest thing we have is the Cloistered Scholar background. That gives you History and Nature proficiency.
Ability Scores
Your highest score should be Charisma. Your magic eyes are an innate part of you, and it's really easy to be frightening when you can tear a bridge down around you. Second highest should be Constitution, for the reasons we outlined in your background feat. Your Dexterity should probably be pretty high, you fight in clothing, and you fought against Shiki for more than five seconds without dying. That's impressive. Your Intelligence isn't that bad, though you're still going through school. We aren't dumping Strength, it's alright, but we are dumping Wisdom. You have a hard time feeling yourself and feeling connected to other people.
Class Levels
You're a Sorcerer, giving you proficiency with Constitution and Charisma saves, as well as proficiency with the Intimidation and Arcana skills. You've got magic implanted in your face, and again, bridge.
As a Sorcerer, you can cast spells using your Charisma. Blade Ward deadens your senses further, giving you resistance to physical damage types for a round. Mending lets you twist a small item back together, instead of tearing it apart. Sword Burst is a short range bending... sorta. Force damage is hard to quantify. But it's free, so that's nice. You can also Shape Water to bend liquids to your will. For first level spells, Mage Armor helps you not die, and Magic Missile lets you shoot little bursts of twistiness that'll never miss.
You also join the school of Quandrix, which gives you the starting gift of the spells Guidance and Guiding Bolt. They aren't super in character, but they're free, so suck it up.
More Importantly, you learn Functions of Probability, helping you bend luck in your favor. When you cast a leveled spell targeting a creature, you can add an effect to a nearby creature (yourself included). A Diminishing Function forces a wisdom save (DC 8 + Chr mod + proficiency), and if it fails it subtracts 1d6 from the next attack roll it makes this round. Turns out swordfighting is hard when your sword is a corkscrew.
Alternatively, a Supplemental Function lets a creature add a d6 to an attack or save made in the next round. This part is less believable, but if you're creative I'm sure it'll look good.
Second level sorcerers are a Font of Magic, giving you sorcery points equal to your level per long rest. You can turn them into slots, or turn slots into points. Eventually you can do other things. Also, you can cast Thunderwave now. It destroys objects, you destroy objects, it's a match made in heaven.
Now that you're a third level sorcerer, you can make your spells truly your own thanks to Metamagic! If you cast a Heightened spell, one creature in its effect has disadvantage on their save against it. If you cast an Empowered spell, you can re-roll a couple damage dice. Tearing people in half is generally hard to avoid, and kind of damaging.
You can also bend the air itself by casting Dust Devil, creating a Medium sized tornado, dealing damage to creatures nearby and pushing them around. It'll even pick up dust and make things hard to see, though that's kind of a drawback for you.
Use your very first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma. Kind of a spell-based build, to be honest. Speaking of, Mage Hand probably doesn't have much tearing force behind it, but it's free. You can also cast Shatter for more indiscriminate destruction.
Fifth level sorcerers gain third level spells like Clairvoyance! Now you can see a bird's eye view of the battlefield, tearing your way through it like, well, you.
At sixth level it's about time you started bending the earth to your will. You can Velocity Shift nearby creatures if they start their turn or move within 30' of you. If they fail a charisma save you can shove them to any other point within 30' of you. You can react this way 30' per long rest. Twist debris at people and watch them scatter, it's fun.
To help with that, you can also cast Erupting Earth, bending the ground in a 20' cube. This forces dex saves on creatures in the cube, dealing damage and making the area difficult terrain until it's cleaned up.
Seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells like Stoneskin for even more deadened senses. Now you resist physical damage without having to waste your action every turn. It does use your concentration, but it lasts an hour.
Another ASI! Max out your Charisma for super special eyes. You can also Control Water to create truly damaging whirlpools. There's other options, but whirlpools! Who'd want anything else?
Oh hey, I found something you might want else. It's fifth level spell Bigby's Hand! You can grab people and play with them like a stress ball. Technically there isn't a twisting option, but a Grasping Hand is probably the best you'll do. It'll grapple a huge or smaller creature, and if it successfully does so you can Crush it as a bonus action for damage.
Another Metamagic option! Technically these spells are all just you looking at things, so grab Subtle Spell so you don't have to yell out all your attack names. You can also Mold Earth. It's not that powerful, but it's free twisting.
You also get Telekinesis! Again, no "twisting" in the rules, but it's strong enough to lift an object of 1000 pounds, and fine enough to open a door. Their heads should be popping off here.
Sixth level spells! Here are the big boys of the spell world. If you twist anything enough, eventually it'll Disintegrate, dealing plenty of force damage and leaving behind a mess you can't even revive. A little too clean for Fujino, but it's destructive enough.
ASI time. Bump up Constitution for a thicker skin and more HP. HP changes retroactively, so you get an extra 12 HP here.
Did you know turning into rotini is painful? Your enemies certainly know that, thanks to Power Word Pain. If a charmable creature has 100 HP or less, their speed drops to 10', and it gets disadvantage on all attacks, checks, and saves, aside from constitution saves. If it tries to cast a spell, it'll be wasted if it can't pass a constitution save. The target stays in pain forever until it can pass a constitution save.
Cool, so fun thing about these Multi Class Subclasses! As long as you're the correct level, you can take any one feature they have each time you hit the appropriate level in your main class. Since the highest requirement is 14, we're taking Quantum Tunneling now, and we'll pop back to the other one later. Your senses permanently deaden, giving you complete resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. You can also bend your way through any physical objects, as long as you're willing to deal with a halved movement speed and 1d10 damage each square you move. You also have to end your turn in an empty spot. Playing to character this should leave a huge hole behind you, but maybe you're conscientious? You weren't raised in a barn, after all.
Your eighth level spell is Earthquake. Now no structure in your view is safe from your destructive powers. Tear open the earth, shatter structures, and interrupt concentration, there's nothing you can't do!
Bump up your Dexterity this ASI. Not getting hit is still pretty useful, even if you can't feel it.
Remember when I said turning into rotini hurts? I was wrong. Actually, it kills you. Please grab Power Word Kill to reflect these changes. You have become death, destroyer of mages.
You also learn how to cast Distant Spells, doubling your spell's range. Your range should be "anywhere in sight", so this is a step in the right direction.
Okay, I guess we'll grab Null Equation. Once per turn you can twist up a creature you damaged. If they fail a constitution save, they get disadvantage on strength and dexterity saves, and they only deal half damage with weapon attacks, all for a round. You can do this Proficiency times per long rest. Again, real hard to hit people when your femurs are spring shaped.
Use your last ASI for more Constitution for more HP and better concentration.
We've finally done it, we've made a pure sorcerer build! It's time to finally learn the dark secret of the Sorcerer capstone. What feature could be so powerful we've completely avoided it for 200 builds?
It's Sorcerous Restoration. You get 4 sorcery points per short rest. It's not good. Sorry.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
You're good at dealing damage, and your most powerful spells deal Force damage, which almost nothing blocks against. That means you're consistent and deadly, a solid combination.
You're so good at damage that it isn't just limited to creatures. Use telekinesis, mold earth, and shatter to tear apart structures that are getting in your way. Walls? Torn down. Steel Beams? Melted. Bridges? Falling down.
Despite spending your entire time in a class with the worst hit dice imaginable, you're pretty tough to kill, with just over 200 HP, a decent AC for a spellcaster, and permanent resistance to physical damage types. To make things worse for fighters, it's also a pain to get near you, since you can tear up the area around you and shunt melee fighters away as a reaction.
Cons:
While you do have magic missile, a lot of your spells deal damage in wide areas, so your party might have words with you about using earthquake one too many times.
While you're good at tearing things up, that's just about all your magic can do. There's the occasional Clairvoyance and some defensive spells, but by and large you're either dealing damage or doing nothing.
Despite your great physical defense, you struggle a bit more against other damage types. If you end up fighting someone who can turn their knife into psychic damage, you might have a problem on your hands.
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[INTERVIEW] '6equence': MAMAMOO's Moonbyul unfolds 6 different stories in new album
By Dong Sun-hwa
For Moonbyul, being part of one of the most talented K-pop acts ― MAMAMOO ― was a double-edged sword. She was proud to be a member of the group that has rolled out a string of hits since their debut in 2014, but at times, she felt like she was overshadowed by her bandmates, who seemed to shine brighter than her.
Laying bare her genuine feelings must have been tough, but during a media interview that took place at the offices of her management company, RBW, in Dongdaemun District in Seoul on Jan. 13, the 29-year-old rapper did not shy away from revealing her inner side.
"In hindsight, I was mostly hidden from people's view," she said. "Many of them just recognized me as a MAMAMOO member, not as Moonbyul … But after putting out my solo releases, I finally felt that I also have an identity as Moonbyul. I think my solo debut marked a new beginning in my life."
Moonbyul first went solo with the EP, "Selfish," in 2018 and is scheduled to release her third EP, "6equence," on Jan. 19. But the star said she felt a lot of pressure while gearing up for her new release.
"MAMAMOO's reputation gives me a heavy burden in almost every way, but I am most pressured when I have to prove myself with my music," she revealed. "As most people know, MAMAMOO has pulled off so many different genres to date, and each member has stunning musical prowess. So people have high expectations for me as well, and this leads me to struggle to live up to the group's name."
Nonetheless, she is fully content with the quality of her fresh EP.
"I participated in everything from A to Z in the EP-making process and I am 100-percent satisfied with the final outcome," the singer said with a big smile, explaining that the six-track EP has a "cinematic flow."
"I think many listeners will find it relatable, as its main theme is love," Moonbyul added. "The EP sheds light on different stages of dating relationships, with each song dealing with different topics, ranging from a first encounter to a breakup."
Its lead single, "Lunatic," is a house track centering on the theme of ennui. Many predicted that the tune will give off a melancholic and sorrowful vibe, as Moonbyul looked so pale and insecure in the teasers. However, "Lunatic" turned out to be quite upbeat and even cheerful.
"The tune revolves around a woman who is tired of her relationship with her boyfriend," she explained. "But this selfish woman does not immediately part ways with him. She just tells him in a witty manner that he should try harder to fix their relationship, because he loves her more than she loves him. This is why the song does not sound very weighty."
Another jewel of the album is "Ddu ddu ddu," a piece through which the singer talks about lingering affection.
"I am quite fond of the tracks that revolve around lingering love," she said. "In the case of 'Ddu ddu ddu,' it focuses on the feelings people frequently have after a breakup. Most of them regret breaking up, but they still choose not to go back in time and start over again."
Asked whether the lyrics are reflective of her own experience, Moonbyul revealed that she has not dated for many years, but she added that her past experience did help her pen the lines.
"I had a boyfriend before my debut, who used to love me a lot," she said. "At that time, I did not like him as much as he liked me, but the love I got seemed to have inspired me to write the lyrics for this song."
The EP also carries four other tracks, including "Intro: SYNOPSIS," "G999," "Shutdown" and "For Me." According to Moonbyul, the upcoming EP, as well as her previous releases, are gender-neutral.
"So far, I have been trying to release songs that do not sound either feminine or masculine, because I believe I am quite androgynous," she said. "I want to become a person who can challenge the binary view of gender through music."
The fact that Moonbyul, as a rapper of MAMAMOO, boasts her vocal bravura in her solo releases, is another gem.
"In fact, when my label's officials first told me that I had to be a rapper, I was so shocked," she said. "Back then, I had no interest in rap, so in the beginning, I cried a lot while practicing rapping. I even blamed myself for being named a rapper who could take the center stage only for a few seconds while performing. But now I feel I was lucky, since I can both rap and sing in a song and demonstrate my versatility. I think this is one of my biggest strengths.
The star also shared her wishes for the days ahead.
"I hope that 'Lunatic' secures the top spots on music streaming charts," she said. "I also want to collaborate with Taeyeon of Girls' Generation."
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Doesn't that mean Larry isn't a thing though?
First, let me note that this is something Harry and everyone around him has been saying in not so many words since November 2019, and if you were in doubt then, the music video could not have been more obvious about the intent of the song, or at least the marketing.
But to answer your question, no, it doesn’t. I feel like one of the main reasons why Harry's comments from last night would make you freak out or question your beliefs about Harry and Louis or double down in your denial about what the song is intended to be is if you've defined your existence as a Larrie around this idea that Harry is 100% a gay man who could never in a million years be attracted to a woman. And unfortunately, I think a lot of people have done that.
I feel like there has always been this very strict belief that 1) Harry hates his womanizer and fantasy boyfriend roles, that 2) he has despised and been unconvincing in every PR relationship and stunt he’s ever had, and that 3) he is not attracted to women and could never be attracted to women. And I used to fully believe all of these things too, but I feel like with time and perspective, I don’t necessarily anymore.
I think that Harry's womanizer image while in One Direction went several steps too far to the point where he and the other boys were uncomfortable with it, but there were moments where Harry had fun with it. One example is when they were doing that interview in Australia with Liam and Louis and Harry went over to snatch the woman's phone number. Eventually, however, I think it reached a level where he was disgusted and frustrated by it because it came to define him and made him seem like a bad person, which is not accurate, and at that point, he was not interested in playing along with the image they assigned him. I also think it was started at such a young age when he had no power to consent to it truly, and that was never going to be acceptable in any way.
Now that Harry has gone solo, I believe that he has significantly more control than he ever did then. He could have gone in many different directions and he has definitely embraced a more open, ambiguous image, but I think it's hard for people to admit that he's also embraced a new role as a fantasy boyfriend. It's not the same as before, as he's able to be more ambiguous about his sexuality and with his clothing, but he markets his music as being about women, he publicly dates only women, and he takes actions to appeal to the female gaze. I often see people talk about how Harry isn't trying to appeal to women because he doesn't fully embrace a stereotypically masculine look, but as I've seen discussed more and more often lately, those stereotypically masculine looks actually appeal more to the male gaze. This article talks about that. Many men think women are attracted to intimidating, uber macho men, but a lot of women are actually often attracted to men like Harry who are in touch with their feminine side. When Harry is shirtless and sweaty in a music video but also not afraid to wear feminine clothing or to talk about his feelings, that DOES appeal to women. They do find that sexy and attractive, and Harry and his team know that and they play to it when they can.
This role isn’t the only one that Harry embraces now that he's solo, but it is something that he and his team have chosen to do. After so many years of us defending Harry against a womanizer image that took things way too far at a young age while Harry was still figuring himself out, that can be a tough pill to swallow. However, we have to realize that both things can exist in the same universe. Harry can have been uncomfortable with where the womanizer image that he was given at age 16 when he had little power to change it and also choose to embrace a kind of fantasy boyfriend role now that he's a solo artist, older, more comfortable with his sexuality, and able to make decisions for himself. He can take control of a narrative that previously harmed him and use it to benefit him and to sell more music, more merch, and more tickets.
When Harry stunts with women, even when he's very convincing (like with Kendall on the yacht when she was laying on top of him and kissing him, or with Olivia on the yacht recently where they were dancing and kissing), you see people claim that it's a "gay yacht" or that he seems miserable even when he doesn't. Do I believe both are absolutely PR relationships and not genuine? Yes. Do I believe that Harry acted convincingly as someone interested in women in both instances? Yes. I think part of the reason why yachtgate with Kendall was so upsetting to me at the time because even though I never believed it was genuine, it LOOKED genuine, and I’d never thought Harry could pull that off. I think part of the reason why the Olivia yacht stuff didn’t bother me at all is because at this point, I do believe Harry can convincingly appear to be interested in women, even if he’s also interested in men, and so when he did, I was fine with it and didn’t feel threatened by it. It’s the same thing with Harry’s acting in DWD where a lot of Larries tried to claim he was unconvincing after seeing a two second clip of him making out with a woman. I thought he looked fine, as did most of the random people who watched that clip, and it did not threaten my beliefs about Harry because I recognize that he can be convincing in heterosexual roles and it doesn’t impact whether he likes men or not or whether he’s in a relationship with Louis or not.
Now don’t get me wrong - I don’t think he’s convincing in every instance, not even in every instance with Olivia or Kendall, but I’m just saying that I think he can play the role with them when he wants to. I don’t think he appeared uncomfortable in either instance. And I think when you admit that and acknowledge it, it’s easier to be a fan because you’re not living in denial and trying to act like Harry is DISGUSTED by these women and could never in a million years convince anyone he’s attracted to them, or attracted to women in general.
I don’t know if Harry is attracted to women, but based on his behavior and the types of things he writes in recent years, I do believe that it’s a possibility. I know I’m in the minority on that, just as I am with most of my beliefs, but even if people don’t agree with me, I feel like it’s really important that people realize that your existence as a Larrie should not be so rooted in Harry only liking men that your theories are all threatened or you’re enraged by a comment about a song being about female orgasms when they’ve been clear about that since day one. Harry can like women and still like men. Harry can like women and still be with Louis. Harry can write a sexual song about women and still like men. Harry can write a sexual song about women with numerous co-writers and still be with Louis. These things are not mutually exclusive, and when you treat them like they are, that’s when the denial starts and that’s when people start getting angry and upset with Harry over something that is not a big deal.
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What kind of sense of humour do each of the heroes have?
Twilight: Twi takes obscene pleasure in doing dad jokes, and then doing them w r o n g, just to watch the people around him collectively cringe. "Was that a fleek?? Am I on yeet???" Warriors has threatened to kill him on behalf of the younger members of the chain repeatedly. And that's not even touching on how easily he launches himself into dirty, raunchy ranch hand jokes. The only one who can match him on that front is, ironically, Warriors.
Warriors: Just because he hated barracks life doesn't mean he didn't walk away with a penchant for disgusting barracks humor. Being surrounded by the people he was surrounded by, Warriors' humor, when he's not watching himself around the kiddos, is straight up filthy, and he is not afraid of using that humor to get his way, unless the person he's talking to happens to be a certain pink rabbit. He knows when he's bested and how to pick his fights carefully, and he knows Legend will roast him every single time.
Sky: Soft spoken and baby faced does not equal innocent, and he will absolutely launch into detail about how he spends his nights with Sun just to watch the horror bloom across the faces of the romantically challenged (like Time). He also takes a great deal of pleasure in the shock value of the others catching him swearing. The others always look like they've been traumatized and he LIVES for it, so as a result, he chooses when he swears very carefully for maximum shock value.
Cinder: his sister and his (future) significant other are working on training him out of it, but he has a sense of humor that is largely formed around taking digs at himself, though when someone in the chain says something funny, he's definitely still going to laugh along. He will also dad-joke at the younger heroes just to distract them when things are stressful. He's got everyone's best interests in mind except his own.
Time: Time's not quite ready to jump into the raunchy humor just because he knows the others would snatch his wig so hard it'd end up in the Death Mountain Caldera, and he's not willing to make a spectacle of himself that way. But he is sarcastic and quick witted if he can keep from getting flustered. He and Wind are constantly volleying back and forth at each other.
Legend: Dirty! DIRTY! D I R T Y!!!! Filthy raunchy humor, only really reels back around Four bc Four is aroace, (though the colors have a bit more nuance than just that), and he will make it everyone else's problem. Especially Warriors. Warriors tries not to get Legend started unless they're alone because the Master White Boii will be redder than Sky's loftwing within a few seconds of Legend opening his mouth. It isn't hard for the pink rabbit to turn him scarlet. Aside from that, he'll get into it with anyone if it involves snark. He can volley banter back and forth like no one's business and prefers (read: HAS TO HAVE) the last word.
Wild: "Sealiously!! Lets SEAL the deal!!" If this guy makes one more sand seal pun on the way through the Gerudo canyon, Champion is gonna remove him from the chronological record and his Hyrule's census. But not before Wild makes some very inappropriate jokes about Zora reproduction and a certain Zora princess with a crush on Champion. He'll go out as he lived: an agent of chaos.
Odyssey: Odyssey is a gremlin through and through and feeds off of everyone else. Especially when it comes to dry, dirty humor. Warriors pretends he just can't hear him most of the time because "holy shit, do you kiss your mother with that mouth!?"
Champion: Champ is well aware people think of him as stoic and silent and unapproachable. He uses this to his advantage. He'll wait till no one who can rat him out is around, and then will, if the intended target is Revali, recite a perfect Rito mating call (that he picked up from watching Wild terrorize the rito champ) for the ruffled feathers. •Go ahead. Tell someone. They'll never believe you, bitch.•
Fae: Fae likes Banter. Which is good for Cinder because she keeps him sharp, and it helps his confidence to be one of the few people who can match her wit. She and Hyrule are the two that aren't total boys (derogatory) with their humor (ie gross, raunchy, D U M B, etc)
Hyrule: Rule is literally a walking meme. Would tag team with Wild for the most god awful sight call when they're traveling out of each other's line of sight. "HEWWOOOO??" Shouts Hyrule, "MISTUW BOSPHOWAMUS HYWULE?????" is the return call. Time considers fratricide.
Four: Four's basically a DID system, so his sense of humor varies depending on who's fronting. Red's got a sense of humor that's deceptively double sided- if he thinks you're dumb you won't know he called you a moron till the joke registers three days later, but he's also a fan of fairly harmless humor. He thinks small pranks are funny (like putting ink around the rim of Wind's Spyglass) and the other three are right along with him, if more direct and more likely to be a little sharper in the jokes they toss.
Wind: dryyyyyyy dryyyyyy dryyyyyyy. You'd think someone who spent so much time on the water wouldn't be quite so dry bones with his humor, but he's sharp, sarcastic, and more than a little petty. He likes to have the last word when it comes to roasting sessions and if he doesn't he's not gonna shut up until he does.
Flicker: he's a nine year old boy, so his humor is very, very juvenile, but he's also a little kokiri gremlin who knows how to pull a prank. He's got a silly, outgoing sense of humor, but if you're someone he doesn't like, his humor will 100% be dry and at your expense.
-Mizu & Kio
#Ask#asau twilight#asau warriors#asau sky#ASAU Cinder#ASAU Time#ASAU Legend#ASAU Wild#ASAU Odyssey#ASAU Champion#ASAU Fae#ASAU Hyrule#ASAU four#ASAU Wind#asau flicker
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