#also his expression is of joy. like the tbh creature
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fishing rod adventures through space
#my art#hermitcraft season ten#grian#grian fanart#hermitcraft 10#i know its kind of bizarre to see someone draw grian with visible sclerae & bug eyes but please#his pupils are supposed to have crescent moons btw#also his expression is of joy. like the tbh creature#hermitcraft
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I saw your tags, you have challenged me!
Scary Show AU (cw for cannibalism and murder)
Ghost is a very well-known yet still semi-anonymous Voice Actor for spooky shit. There's a huge following for him because, regardless of what role he's playing, he does a phenomenal job. He's only listed in the cast list as "S.R.Ghost"
Typically he plays the role of the creatures in this super popular show called "Cryptid Season" which follows a gang of college kids desperate for extra credit in their Biology class so they hunt cryptids as evidence/to study for their papers. He does the voice over and some of the motion capture (he's a big dude) for the monsters and such, his most famous one being "Goatman" (from the demonic Goatman's bridge in I think Texas?)
Meanwhile Soap is this animator who's starting to become really popular, and he announces a new show in the work: "Consume", where he voices one of the two lead roles. It's presented as a show about a normal, if not very lonely man, being tormented by a demonic presence in his home.
Plot twist: dude's actually a cannibalistic serial killer and ends up quickly befriending the demon. The demon helps make the man harder to track by police forces in exchange for the bones and souls of his victims.
Cast:
Soap as the killer
Ghost as the demonic entity
Gaz as a detective who's new to the case but also best friends with Soap's character
Price voices the seasoned detective who's been working this case "too damn long"
Ghost and Soap ABSOLUTELY fall in love while recording scenes together. The banter, the flirting, the sexy scenario of cutting up a corpse together; it's too much not to fall in love irl
(actually such a big brain idea but I don't know how you'd write it tbh lmao. Maybe the show itself, where the boys keep their names? Idk the original idea turned into something much greater)
took a minute to figure something out i'm ngl but i did. something
(in any case i would love to see your proper takes(s) if you'd be up to it, seeing as it's your idea!! i feel like i couldn’t do it justice)
-
Just like any other actor, Ghost had to audition for the role.
His agent books it for him without consultation, knowing the project would be right up his alley—horror, monsters, no face required—and Ghost makes no argument in sending in his tape. He recognizes this process and takes no issue with it, and once out of his hands, he waits patiently for a congratulatory offer or a gentle rejection.
Just like any other movie, or show, or what have you. Consume is no different.
Supposedly. At first.
John "Soap" MacTavish is... many things. He's charming, according to most. Talented. A joy to be around. A man who wears more than several hats of a project, which certainly tells of someone trying to worm their way into the commercial industry.
He has the spirit and creativity, Ghost will allow him that. But he also doesn't know when to stop talking as soon as the important work is done.
Is Soap professional? Sure. Does Soap make sure all jobs are done with efficiency and done well? Yes, he does. Does it make him any less of a nuisance to Ghost? Absolutely not.
But Ghost would be damned if the project doesn’t find its way into his soft spots, despite its nature. He’d be damned if he doesn’t fall in love with Soap’s animations and the hard work and craft he puts into them.
Then he blinks, and the pilot is premiering. It does well (again, considering its content), and Consume is properly green-lit.
Which is when Soap proposes the idea of recording their lines in the same room. Together. Facing one another. Because banter, and chemistry, and whatever other reasons he insists upon.
Personally, Ghost wants to decline. He’s always felt somewhat awkward when recording as such with anyone, but professionally? He couldn’t really say no, could he?
And it is awkward, at first. There’s more takes than usual, and Ghost can sense Soap’s frustration, though the man never expresses it. He just plasters on a tight smile, calls for a break, and pulls Ghost aside.
Surely, surely this is where Ghost gets fired. This is where Ghost is told he’s going to be replaced, where he’s told to say goodbye to Gaz and Price and wish them luck, and move onto his next gig. This is where—
“Have I done something wrong?”
Soap’s face is so earnest. So painfully sincere.
Ghost clenches his jaw. Shakes his head.
“No, I—“ He sighs. “Just have to get used to the… face-to-face. Let’s—I’ll try again.”
Soap smiles wider, now, as he nods, something kind and warm and brilliant.
The second try goes much smoother. Ghost takes a deep breath and eases himself into scripted dialogue, into witty banter and subtle flirts like it’s any other project.
They continue to record lines as such, just the two of them, each episode at a time. At some point, Ghost worries, the line between script and show and reality gets blurred. At some point, he fears, that flirting becomes genuine.
And what would he know—the reviews only get better as that line becomes less and less clear. Natural, real-feeling dialogue, critics say. The relationship is authentic, claim viewers.
The love is actually heartfelt.
And fuck, if that doesn’t make Ghost realize a few things about himself.
About Soap.
Consume is no different, his ass. He might have to have a stern talk with his agent in the near future.
(Or not.)
#ask#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#soap mw2#ghost x soap#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#writing#alternate universe
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ask game! <3
loop (isat) - 5, 12, 23, 25
ena (ena) - 2, 3, 4, 13
absol (pkmn) - 1, 6, 23, 24
ena
2. the basis for her design is a cool concept :o
3. does the end of temptation stairway count /hj
4. hmm. pokémon bc i have made a team for her before. she would find fun there i think. a strain of joy she recognizes
13. 🎭. yes this is just my ena tag on my kin blog but like am i wrong,
absol
1. i forgot when or how i really ended up attaching to absol in particular but like. the pokédex entries… it just wants to keep people safe but is scorned for it… it's really just the black cat of the pokémon universe and i want to hug it. also i know people call its design edgy but i consider it more majestic than anything ngl. idk i just want it to be happy
6. could use a hug
23. look at its little tail wags… its paw movements… ;w;
24. …hm not sure tbh? design-wise mayyybe joshua twewy. mega absol in particular. it's just the Vibes™
loop (under the cut for spoilers)
5. so technically there's an official playlist for them i haven't listened to yet- but the very first one that comes to mind is sundial by lemon demon thanks to this comic. since that's more of an overall siffrin song than specifically loop though (it's on my kin playlist too which has a lot of songs that overlap for obvious reasons), there's also upside down & inside out by ok go and you are getting a ramble on discord about my logic later tonight owo
12. okay okay hc time. so the thing is siffrins are not very subtle creatures right. so i think that just like odile was suspicious of the time loops before having enough info to really put the pieces together, she'd be suspicious as all hell of loop in a post-canon scenario where they join the family. while they'd still keep their façade up there'd be all these little things that she can and would notice. especially considering her own guilt that she expresses in act 6 for not pushing more to find out what was wrong she would confront them so quickly about it and they would not react well because in addition to pineapples siffrins are also extremely allergic to being vulnerable. also this odile may be a near perfect copy but not quite, not theirs, a complete stranger wearing her face- loop wouldn't go full act 5 but they'd definitely ramp up their playful exterior out of desperation and flee.
odile ends up the first to know (besides siffrin of course) after siffrin is 👀 at them and loop has to experience the other side of self to self therapy momence. self-recognition through the other (derogatory but necessary bc if siffrin has to start opening up to the others then so does loop it's not fair for only one siffrin to). maybe going the 'if you got to tell them about my time loops i get to tell them about this if you don't' type thing but not in like a manipulative or getting back at them way more a 'i know you'll never actually say it otherwise but you do have to come clean eventually' thing if that makes sense. bc how are they supposed to start healing from it if they won't even admit it
she takes it surprisingly well; she'd only push to a certain point (not as necessary to like with siffrin and his wish, the universe isn't breaking over it) and let loop know that while she may not be their odile they're still a part of the family all the same and that she's there for them too not just siffrin. may ramble more @ you later on discord about how i perceive loop's relationships with the rest of the group bc this question has me rotating them in my mind
23. not a favorite emotionally bc they deserve better but also ough. the moment of their old appearance shining through before the battle. and this pic when they talk about their second wish, stuck in it for so long that they just break and want someone to help them, for it all to stop… it's gonna kill me when i get their act 6 stuff. it's the emotional impact of it
25. initially an absolute bastard. not quite hatred but also damn "have you tried not dying?" fuck that y'know. they're still very much bastard but now it's like. i get it sdgfkjhl i can't say anything really. i want to give them a hug because they're just as touch-starved if not even more so. old friend start again siffrin continuing to go through hell, again of their own making…
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Hi I’m hoping that your match up’s are still open, but if there’s to many idc if you can’t get to mine 😭 if it’s alright can I get a match up for HSR and/or Genshin I don’t mind either
I’m an INFP and I’m a quiet individual practically around everyone that I meet. I try to make conversations as best as I can, and I tend to put my attention on everything and everyone that’s around (I get distracted so easily unless I’m focused really hard on something that I love). It takes me a while to open up to someone to the extent where I can be more talkative and silly with them. I’m pretty creative with a lot of things and like to share my ideas with people who have similar interests. The only thing is that I tend to be quiet about a lot of things especially when it bothers me so I just remain silent until the time is brought up (it ranges from 2 weeks to 2 years tbh cause I have this underlying fear of making people upset with me)
The things that I like to do is drawing, writing, playing video games and talking to friends. I know a lot of things about marine biology so I tend to ramble a lot about sea creatures and tell random facts about them. I also love music and like to share playlist with close friends. My love language is quality time, gifts and physical touch. Honestly I don’t really care if that person I’m with is doing something else or nothing at all, just being with them is fine enough for me.
I’m not to picky but as long as they listen to whatever I talk about I’m fine with whatever.
Hopefully this was good enough to put AA—
Hellooou darling
You didn't mention if you want male or females, so I just gave you a male from genshin and female from hsr
.
.
.
CHILDE
Your creativeness, would fit well with Childe's appreciation different forms of expression.
He'd find joy in hearing you talk/ show him about something you wrote / drew
The fact that you have the habit on focusing intensely on things a lot is also similar to childe when he's in battle, so he understands the devotion and often attempts to help you out in certain things
Childes nature between being stubborn and going headfirst into fights to being calmer and talkative , mirrors your shy and then chatty nature with close friends
Much like your efforts to make conversations, Childe similiary adapts to different situations and engages with those around him!
HIMEKO
Himeko is calm and collected
Himeko appreciates your quiet and calm attitude, she thinks that quiet people have a certain kind of charm to them
She's also very proud of you when you do make conversations with people, after all she wants nothing but pure happiness for you
She finds your hobbies quite interesting, and asks you about them a lot, asks to read your writings or see your art.
Himeko usually encourages you to tell people whenever something's bothering you and not bottle it up
Just as she encourages you to talk to her, she freaking loves talking to you
Himeko meets your love languages, some atleast, hers are quality time and physical touch, but she's also a fan of words of affirmations and gift giving
She prefers to spend a lot time with you, just sitting in each others embrace or simply enjoying sitting in the same room
And don't be surprised if you receive a few gifts here and there :}
#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#genshin fluff#honkai star rail x reader#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact x reader#honkai x reader#genshin headcanons#himeko x reader#himeko x y/n#himeko x you#childe x gender neutral reader#tartaglia x reader#tartagalia headcanons#tartaglia x you#tartaglia x y/n
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Ahhh I love your writing sm!! Could I request how the brothers would react to an MC that's super doting and overly loving from the get-go?. Always insists on helping w cooking duty, brings the brothers coffee if they look busy, etc? pls & ty!
Tbh I don't really have a love language over than verbal but this speaks to me
In game I make my MC very much like this, overly positive and always wanting to help. Not because I have to, I could easily pick more honest or teasing options but when it comes to it. My first instinct/Response is those options because I like the idea of being helpful to people
It's only when people start using that for their advantage or make me help them out even though I'm busy or just don't want to do it. That's when there's an issue.
Lucifer:
"oh~ Luci! You still working?"
You peered over at him at his desk, peaking from the space between the wall and the stair railing
He looked up at you with a tired expression, frowning
"I am, what do you need?"
you trotted down the rest of the steps, walking over to him with a bright smile
A tray in hand with coffee and biscuits and apple slices
"I made these for you, I know it isn't much but you're always working so hard... perhaps I can help?"
Lucifer wasn't too surprised, you were always offering your help whenever you could but it still surprised him you were so quick to offer
He didn't know how you had all that energy to face the day and then do more for others but he always enjoyed your company
"be my guest."
You grabbed a mini stool and sat beside him, you'd read over papers with him, massaging his hand whenever you noticed it cramped
He shared the snacks you got him and even revealed the mini snack draw he had in his desk
He put a finger to his lips with a smile
"don't tell my brother's, this will be just between you and me."
He showed you what he had and you picked whatever caught your fancy, happily eating as you looked over the papers
Mammon:
He wasn't use to Someone being nice to him so when you came along and offered acts of service - he was blown away!
Even over time he wasn't really use to it
Speaking of you and your acts or service; you were whistling a happy tune
A thick wallet in your pocket, you headed straight to mammons room
It was as if he could smell the money, he rushed to your side and started eyeing the wallet
"Stop peeking - it's a gift."
He looked at you confused but was grinning
"oh? The great Mammon can't refuse a gift!"
You placed the wallet in his hand, he let out a yelp at the weight of it
It was completely loaded!!! It was stuffed with money!
He couldn't believe it - it had to be a trick! There was no way you were giving him this much money!
"Are ya playing with me? Ha ha human."
"no tricks, you've been struggling with your debt to the witch's so I thought I'd help, I heard you've been getting in trouble with Lucifer more because of it so I wanted to help!"
He didn't even realize he teared up, he jumped towards you and hugged you close
Nuzzling your faces together as he hugged you tight
"You-! YOU DAMN HUMAN- NO YOU ANGEL! YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!"
You patted his arm, laughing and it wasn't long before he was planning to spend a big splurge on you despite his issues with money already
Levithan:
He was shuffling into his room, headphones on and just starting to calm down
Today was hectic so he was happy to finally be back home
"Evening! Don't worry, I still used the secret password."
"HUH-?! THAT'S NOT- WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!"
He threw his headphones off, face bright red
He should of known you were up to something, you kept humming whenever you entered his room
Talking about cleaning up after himself but he kept forgetting due to getting distracted
"I noticed it's gotten really messy so I decided to clean it for you but before you say anything, I know you hate when it's cleaned because you don't know where anything so I've labelled where everything has been stored if it's changed places."
He was still upset, he REALLY hated it when things are changed without him knowing first
But he looked around the room and sure enough, things were still in the cupboards and places he stacked them in and the labels were correct
Everything was completely organized! All the piled up ramen was even gone!
He exhaled a long breathe calming himself down, he was happy - really really happy
"Thanks.... just - can we arrange something next time? But I do like what you did! It looks nice - it's much better now!"
"of course, I'll ask next time - also~ I got you some special ruri-chan themed chips in hopes to make you feel better."
He moves before he knows it, hugging you tight
"STAY WITH ME FOREVER!!!!"
He's definitely embarassed afterwards and gets you out of his room before he makes himself look more like a love sick fool
But don't worry, he texts you wanting to hang out later
Satan:
Satan has been locked in his room after having a big outburst earlier that day
He got overwhelmed from all the noises and threw a book at mammon
You waited awhile before going after him, wanting him to calm down and looked after mammons sore head
You grabbed the book he threw, making a nice calming tea and even made some Apple pie
When you knocked his door he freezed
"Who is it-?! Lucifer, I'm not in the mood for your scolding-"
"it's just me, I got you something!"
He opened the door for you, letting you inside
His room looked clean for once - you didn't doubt he continued his rage into his room and cleaned up to calm down
You offered him a smile, placing the tray on his bed
"I hope you like it, I made it myself."
He looked at the fresh apple pie, his stomach rumbling at the mere sight of it
"you did this...for me? Didn't I scare you?"
You hummed, sitting close to him
"yeah a little but everyone has their bad days, you having one doesn't change anything - though you do need to apologize to mammon."
He sat down by his bed, placing the tray on his lap
"you're right I do, thank you for not just seeing me as some angry creature....I didn't intend to blow up like that."
You patted his arm, still smiling
You two sat together, you read his book for him whilst he ate and drank
He was very bashful at how supportive you are but that was you, you've always been so quick to offer help or do things for people ever since you've arrived
You were good to him, he'll always appreciate that
Asmodeus:
His love language is affection and words
Yours is acts of service
It's perfect!
Though, when it was established you were quick to help and offer your service - prepare for MANY innuendos
He'll come skipping to you, draping himself off the nearest object and asking if you want to help him de-stress
Most of the time you just have spa days or lay around doing nothing
You decided to treat him today seeing as exams were stressing him out
"Asmo! Won't you help me? I have this lovely new-"
He's skidding as he appears in the doorway, ready to do whatever you want
But you just grinned, knowing your plan worked
You grabbed him and shoved him into a chair
Before he knew it; his hair was tied up and his jacket and scarf has disappeared
"oh? What's all this about? Does my love want some special care?"
"nope, I just want to look after you today~ you've been stressing over exams so much, I wanted to treat you like a prince."
He had the biggest grin on his face after that
And treated like a prince he was
You did his skin routine, brushed his hair and curled it
If he even mentioned being thirsty you were straight to getting him a nice refreshing drink
If you're able to - please carry him bridal style - he will love every second of it
"you treat me so well, I know I'm already a blessing to this demonic world but you're just pure light."
He's so love sick, an absolute fool in love
"nonsense, I'm just helping you like usual."
Which is true, you were always being helpful to him
Thats why he loved doing whatever he could for you
"Never leave the Devildom, I couldn't bare not seeing your beautiful face everyday."
You just laughed, massaging his face and gave him a quick kiss
Beezlebub:
Another person who does acts of service as a love language
Though, do forgive him if he forgets due to hunger - he'll immediately make it up to you
At this point he's become a subconscious challenge/game of service - always trying to one up each other
Currently, he was really anxious about his up coming game
It was the biggest one that R.A.D was having and was against a smaller school in the Devildom
The brothers all agreed to come watch him play and even made banners and levi brought glowsticks
You were no were to be seen
The weeks running up to the game you were always busy and whilst you still do some things for him here or there - you were mostly out of the house
But it was but a long lasting plan
You planned on supporting him the best way you could!
When he finally rolled onto the field he felt dread when he didn't spot you in the crowd
He couldn't stop frowning until he saw you, shaking pom poms and running with the cheersquad
That's right, you joined the cheer team to show your support for the lovely demon
"I WANT TO DEDICATE A CHEER TO OUR STAR PLAYER - BEEZLEBUB!!!"
He's so flustered and absolutely shining with joy under his helmet
As soon as he could he came running towards you and hugged you tight
"I was so worried I did something that made you drift away....you did this for me?"
"of course! I'm sorry I made you worried, I wanted to surprise you."
He had to take off his helmet after trying to nuzzle your face, you yelped when it bonked you
"This is the best thing anyone has done for me, thank you (Y/N)."
"you're welcome, now go win that game! Prove those losers that R.A.D is the best school around!"
It was no surprised that R.A.D won
The players all cheered and partied, inviting the band and cheerleaders to celebrate with them
But you decided to have a sleepover with Beelzebub, feeding him plenty of tasty foods as your own type of celebration
"Open wide."
You almost choked on the cake basically shoved in your mouth, laughing as frosting covered your nose and cheeks
You got your revenge but he happily licked what he could
This is the best celebration he could ever get
All because of you!
Belphegor:
Even if your love language wasn't acts or service, you definitely got in the habit of doing it with this guy
He was spoilt from always being carried and pampered by his twin
He could get away with sleeping anywhere as long as he got things done and good grades
But you were always the helpful human, giving him snacks or fluffing his pillows
He's joked about getting a bell so he could call you whenever he needed you
That never happened
"Belphie!! You awake? I got something for you."
He immediately popped his head up and waved to get your attention
You showed him the cup of hot mocha you've recently made; sweet and delicious and has an extra kick to help with keeping awake
"Smells delicious, you made this?"
"yep! Now drink up, we got plans today."
He happily drunk it, feeling more awake with every gulp
By the end of the Cup he was absolutely overjoyed from the taste
Though you almost groaned in frustration when he yawned, so happy that he got sleepy
"you have anymore~? I could drink loads of these- make me more, you know how to make them, I'm too sleepy - it's your fault I'm sleepy."
You flicked his head
Reminding him to not act like a brat
But you did make him more and throughout the day you'd give him a large cup
You needed to do studies and make sure belphegor kept his grades up - Lucifer's orders
But he was already a star pupil regardless so you weren't sure why you had to
But spending time with your favourite demon was never an issue, regardless of his attitude
"We need to do this more, I love it when you look after me."
"I know, now write your answer, I need proof you're working so I don't get strung up."
#obey me#obey me shall we date#gamingclubpresident#aracadejohn217 9#obey me mammon#obey me mc#obey me asmodeus#obey me satan#obey me belphegor#beelzebub obey me#obey me leviathan#obey me luficer#obey me imagine#obey me headcanon#obey me x you#obey me x mc#obey me x reader
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not to go full fluff central but omg can you write a one shot about matthew hanging out with his kids?? i see him as a girl dad and he would 100% play dress up with them and they would be wrapped around his finger and itd be so sweet it could cause cavities lmao i just want that man to have children so bad
ugh yes i want him to have kids so bad and YES he 100% is a girl dad i definitely agree. this was super interesting to write tbh bc i did it from his perspective but i'm glad i did and i'm glad you asked for it bc we love a saccharine one-shot! also i'm so bad at names for characters i'm sorry lol.
summary: Matthew has a day off with his two daughters!
content warnings: none! literally just fluffy fluff with a side of fluff.
word count: 2.1k
masterlist
when Matthew wakes up to the press of a crayon on his forearm, he nearly startles. his head jerks up to see his daughter, Juniper, trying to draw on him. her hair is neatly braided and the other side of the bed is empty, indicating that his wife has already gotten up.
"good morning, sweetpea." he says to Juniper with a tired smile, wincing when she tries in vain to draw on him. wax on skin doesn't work that way.
"it isn't working, Dad." she pouts. she throws the purple crayon onto the bed and stares at him. she's got dark lashes framing huge, beautiful eyes, and a gap between her front teeth. she pried out the baby tooth a week ago-- seven years old and already determined to take it out herself-- and has been showing it around the house like a trophy.
"maybe we can try with markers after I get up." he suggests. she peers at him with an impatient expression.
"fine." although the word is venomous, she crawls up the bed until she's tucked beneath his arm and he kisses the top of her head. Matthew smiles to himself as he holds her, happy to have the whole day to spend with his kids. he hasn't had a day off in forever.
"should we make breakfast for you and your sister?" he asks cheerfully.
"yes!" she leaps up to stand on the bed, jumps around a little bit on the cushy mattress. "come on!"
"okay, okay," he chuckles, throwing off the covers. "let me brush my teeth first, sweetheart."
"I'm coming with." Juniper is insistent as she follows him. he takes out his toothbrush and toothpaste while she paws through her mother's makeup drawers and skincare. she grabs a bottle of perfume and examines it carefully. "what is this?"
"let's be careful with that." Matthew turns from the mirror, where he can see the rat's nest of hair on his head while he brushes his teeth, and gently puts the glass bottle back on the counter. Juniper crosses her arms.
"what is it?" she repeats. her father finishes up, then lifts her into his arms like she's a sack of potatoes.
"it's your mom's favorite smell." he clarifies. after kissing her little cheek, he walks into the kitchen with Juniper's arms wrapped around his neck. she clings to him like he is everything in the world, and he realizes that this is one of his favorite parts of the day. whenever he holds his daughters, he feels the kind of joy that simply can't be replicated. his heart overflows for them.
"morning, sleepyhead." Y/N looks up from the counter, where she's biting into a piece of toast and talking excitedly to their other child, Autumn. Matthew grins at the sight of her, so beautiful when she's laughing with her daughter.
"morning." he's smitten.
"I have to go in a minute, but I figured you'd be able to handle a day with them?" she comes over to him and kisses his lips, saying the last part softly. Juniper leans her head on her father's chest, staring at her mother with those enormous eyes.
"with these two devils?" Matthew nods to the girls. "of course."
Y/N shakes her head with a laugh and gives each of her daughter's foreheads before grabbing her purse.
"bye, Mama!" Juniper and Autumn say in unison.
"bye, my angels. I love you very much." she smiles warmly, ruffling Autumn's silky curls before touching Matthew's arm tenderly and heading out of the kitchen. he watches her go, waits for the sound of the lock clicking into place, before he looks conspiratorially between the remaining household.
"who wants pancakes?" he smirks. their ensuing squeals are affirmation enough.
...
"Dad, can I show you my ballet tutu?" Autumn surprises Matthew by grabbing onto his leg while he's making pancakes. Juniper is standing on a stool beside him, watching and helping to flip the flapjacks.
"nobody wants to see that, Autumn." Juniper scowls impatiently at her younger sister. Matthew turns to his little one and smiles.
"I would love to see your new tutu, sweetheart." he says. Autumn gives the other girl a triumphant look before running off to her room. when Matthew looks at Juniper, she blushes. "be nicer to your sister, Juni." he says gently.
the little scolded creature crosses her arms over her chest and turns her gaze to the pancakes. she knows she's not supposed to be mean, but sometimes Autumn is just so annoying. Matthew can't even pretend to stay mad for long, however, and offers the spatula to her.
"do you wanna flip it?" he smiles.
"yep!" Juniper quickly slides the utensil under the pancake, her father's hand guiding hers to make sure she doesn't accidentally burn herself. she's a smart girl, but she's inherited his lack of coordination (and his nose). they giggle together at the sound of the batter slapping the pan.
"dad, look!" Autumn tugs on the leg of his pants and he glances down to see her wearing a bright pink tutu over her leggings. his jaw drops open in wonderment, tinged with a smile.
"oh my goodness!" he gasps, hoisting her into his arms and burying his face in her curls. "you look just like a princess!"
she giggles. Matthew turns off the stove for a moment to spin her around in his arms before setting her down again and crouching to look at her. "can we see your dance routine after breakfast?"
Autumn nods shyly. he holds her tiny hand in his and kisses the back of it before standing back up. Juniper waits for him on her stool. they get back to cooking, both girls chatting about anything and everything while their father listens intently.
once they set the plates out on the table, Juniper volunteers to distribute forks and knives, and soon they've got a whole spread of golden brown pancakes, whipped cream, and fruit. they heap their dishes with food. the girls have a tendency to take more than they can actually eat, but that's okay. he loves the look of excitement in their eyes when they drizzle syrup over everything.
"nice job, kiddos." he nods, impressed, like they've made the whole meal themselves. both siblings grin back at him proudly. "let's dig in!"
he's hungry. Matthew cracks a couple jokes while they eat, pokes Autumn's stomach when she gets full halfway through her third pancake, and then both he and Juniper watch her do her ballet routine for them. she spins, twirls, smiles as she finishes the dance by throwing both arms into the air like she's won an Olympic gold medal. in his eyes, she has.
even Juniper is supportive and claps with a smile at her sister's achievement. although she teases and can be a bit too harsh with her younger sibling at times, the truth is that she's proud of her. it's evident in the way they play together in the summer, running around beneath the sun while Matthew and his wife sip on glasses of iced tea.
"brava!" he cheers when she skips back to her seat at the table. "a royal performance!"
"dad, can we have more whipped cream?" Juniper eyes the canister on the table with hungry eyes. he mulls this over for a second, enamored with the fact that she is so clearly his daughter. down to her features and mannerisms, her tendency to crawl onto the couch and watch the scary movies with him that she probably shouldn't be watching at her age. Autumn looks more like her mother, sweet and optimistic. a dreamy expression on her face.
he grabs the canister from the middle of the spread and pops the cap off the top.
"only if you don't tell your mother." he laughs. Juniper shakes her head vehemently like a half promise and opens her mouth as he puts a pile of whipped cream in it. he does it to Autumn next, then himself. they lean back in their chairs, rubbing their bellies with satisfaction.
"yummy." Juniper grins.
"whipped cream is the best topping in the world," Matthew says matter-of-factly, passing down a pearl of knowledge that will stay with them forever. "don't ever let anyone tell you different."
the three of them clean the dishes together, blowing suds all over the room while they listen to Sam Cooke and dance. the house rings with their laughter and the sounds of feet hitting the ground in rhythmic elation, the kitchen their personal concert hall.
if he could only bestow a few life lessons on them, one of them would be the importance of listening to old music.
Matthew wishes that he could spend all his days with them, making breakfast and hearing their crazy ideas. the world is so full and open to them, he sometimes finds himself thinking about how they're going to conquer it. they've got a grittiness to them that they could only get from their mother-- an absolute sureness that stiffens their little spines-- and an imagination that could fill books with stories. he wants to paint for them, do everything for them.
but for today, they head to Autumn's room and play dress-up with the enormous chest of costumes by her bed. should he work on not spoiling her so much? maybe. he doesn't care. she's absolutely adorable when she hauls out princess dresses, doctors' jackets and stethoscopes, other disguises. he thinks she's going to be an actress; she loves to take on different jobs and throw herself into them, walking around the house ordering that her next patient be brought in or for someone to prepare her microscope. her mind is full of ideas.
Juniper pretends to be disinterested in dressing up, but she gives up the act once Autumn hands her a tiara to wear and pours her imaginary tea.
"what flavor is this?" Matthew takes a sip from his miniature cup, fanning his mouth like it's hot. "it's divine."
"it's normal tea, you cuckoo bird." Autumn giggles. she sets the teapot down on the plastic table.
"I'm a cuckoo bird?" he pretends to be offended. "you're a cuckoo bird!"
"no I'm not!" Autumn protests, but Matthew is already wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his lap. he tickles her sides.
"you're the cuckoo bird!" he repeats through her fits of laughter. she squeals and kicks with joy until he sets her back on her feet.
"your hair is crazy." Juniper scolds. Matthew sighs and runs a hand through the unruly curls. they always tease him about it, and somehow it never gets old.
"probably because this one messed it up with her claws." he pokes Autumn's side and he suppresses a gleeful smile.
"Dad, you need a tiara, too." Juniper points to the empty spot on his head. "Autumn, get him one."
the younger sister looks like she's going to defy her sister's bossy demand, but decides against it and runs off to grab another bejeweled piece to place on her father's head. it's comical, the way the tiny thing sits.
"thank you, sweetpea." he smiles at his youngest, pinching her cheek before glancing between the two of them seriously. "how do I look?"
"silly." Juniper giggles. she straightens it out on his head and he wrinkles his nose.
"hey! boys can wear tiaras, too," he defends with mock attitude. "now, can I have more tea, please? I finished mine already."
"of course." Autumn stands diplomatically and pours him a new cup while they pretend to snack on baked goods. Matthew tells them about the new movie he's directing, dipping into his storyteller voice and wiggling his fingers with every mention of a spooky plot point. the girls sit at rapt attention, hanging on his every word, despite the fact that he's got a miniature tiara on his head.
they adore him, and every second he's there, they revel in it. they love their mother, too, of course. but days with their dad are just... different. he lets them eat whipped cream by themselves and tells them stories, kisses their foreheads and dances in the kitchen with them. they always have fun together, no matter how dreary the day is. and those feelings won't change as they get older; he's their rock, their security. he always will be.
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What was OP thinking when Harry asked him to rename him? And then his happy dancing? Bc tbh that was cute as hell and OP just—fritzing was also funny
Aww thanks, I had a lot of fun writing such an adorable scene!
Sorry about the wait, I got a weirdly intense influx of business. Idk why every third family in my area had to vacation right now.
I’m just gonna jump right into it, since I really did love that scene and would be happy to expand on it a little further.
At first he was completely shocked. He really thought it was gonna be Ratchet who named him if Harry was gonna pick a new name at all, so that came right out of nowhere.
And then when Harry asks about shooting him down, some jaded part of Optimus wonders if Harry simply doesn’t want a new name and is using Optimus’ comparatively calmer presence to come to terms with that.
He was glad to provide security, it was his duty, but it would be unwise to hope for more.
As a Prime and then, later, as the Prime who banished the Allspark, he hadn’t ever thought he’d have the opportunity to name a sparkling. He hadn’t even considered it, the notion was so far past what he felt could he had the right to expect.
Still, on the off-chance Harry was being sincere, no matter how unlikely, he would give Harry the one and only name Prime would ever give another being.
He spent the entire night silent and apart from the others, contemplating all he knew of Harry. They hadn’t interacted directly very often, but Prime was always watching, always checking on the physical and spiritual wellbeing of their youngest charge.
It was a difficult decision.
What he’d seen, since their very first day at the base, was humbling. Harry was a gentle creature, naturally empathetic with a strong sense of justice. Genuinely good sparks like that were rare to the point of nonexistence now, an age of battle and death had tarnished even the most honorable of Autobots by the end.
Besides that, how could Prime concisely summarise even a vague approximation of the hopes and wishes pinned on Harry at this very moment? The first child in a millennia, holder of the Allspark, alien-born, so much of him was new and stunningly bright in their darkest hour.
When Harry finally reconvenes with him the following morning, Prime awaits his decision. He’ll make his peace with whatever Harry decides, whether it be to ignore him completely, contemplate the matter further, or demand his answer as soon as they come to a halt out beyond the base.
It was then, when Harry did ask for a name, that he understood his own caution to be a complete lie. He hadn’t realized how much of himself he’d invested in this endeavor, how unfathomably precious this moment would be to him, until Harry peered up at him oh so shyly, and requested Prime’s designation.
This wasn’t a duty, Prime realized past the searing ache of his own spark expanding far past the limits of its casing, it was a gift in every meaning of the word. And he had been desperate to recieve it.
It was all he could do to croak out his heartfelt gratitude. Wonder was such a rare thing to feel, and yet Prime felt fit to bursting. He had inspired within the last sparkling enough trust and affection to allow him a lifelong connection, and he wasn’t terribly certain how to exist in a world wondrous enough for that to occur.
He can see it the moment Harry accepts, the flurry of coding burrowing it into the deepest recesses of Harry’s processors, overwriting and overruling until it is Silverline who looks back at him.
And Prime...soaks it in. Like a flower towards the sun, he is enraptured. For once, he is not a Prime staring down at his charge, that is much too plain for what he’s feeling. Formalities and obligations withered and died in the intensity of his own vulnerability. Here, he is simply Optimus, watching over his child.
Silverline warbles a simple thanks over his com, as if he hadn’t given him the greatest blessing Prime could dream of, as if Prime could part with any of his own gratitude and share it with the sparkling. He is helpless to communicate this, though. The appropriate words too grand and complicated to fit past the lump in his throat.
Silverline’s expressive optics shimmer with gentle care, his posture is open and utterly relaxed, and his charming little wings pluck and pull at his heartstrings with every swoop.
Optimus doesn’t dare reach out and interrupt the sparkling, he’s never had the privilege of being so close to Silverline without a pall snuffing out any of his natural light and he couldn’t bear to ruin this moment stumbling through affection. Silverline’s happiness was dazzling at it’s brightest, it was easy to see how his troops might become possessive over this feeling.
Then, the world melts.
A syrupy, honey-sweet haze slogs Optimus’ processors to a crawl. His spark skips. splutters, and dies right in his chest and Optimus can only watch as overheating warnings and system failures roll in.
Muddled and confused, Optimus waits for the burning fire in his fuel pump to ease and for death to take him.
Except, he doesn’t die? It feels like he should be dead by now, he has most certainly ceased functioning. But as one second, two seconds, fifteen seconds carries on without him, he remains trapped in place.
True awareness swam just before him, elusive, but close enough to that snippets of stimuli brushed him. It was overwhelming, a tidal wave of excruciating emotions, none of which were upsetting, but that only made them more confusing.
His feeble matrix buzzed and whirred with the effort to drag him to the forefront of himself, and he is forced to process the audio data first. It is a purring hum, low and easy. It is a single note that snatches him up by his very core and yanks him out of his daze.
It is an optimal status alert, and it is directed solely at him.
If there were air left in his vents, Optimus might’ve choked. He was left reeling, the burning in his fuel pump ticking higher and higher as what he understood that it must be elation scorching through him. Satisfaction, praise at its highest, acceptance at it’s deepest, a bot wasn’t built to withstand such a brutal onslaught of unrefined joy.
His visual data was processed next, unrelenting, and the sweet haze gumming up his processors doubled its efforts.
Silverline was killing him, Optimus was sure. It was the most deadly, precious attack he’d ever witnessed.
Silverline was dancing. His paper thin wings fluttering wide and trusting, his optics huge and bright and focused right on Optimus. His steps were spiraling, childish, shrouded in Optimus’ shadow as Silverline danced mere inches from him. The optimal status alert hikes higher in volume with each almost-brush of armor, and Optimus couldn’t have torn himself away for all the galaxy.
I trust you, Silverline said in so much more than words, I love you. Stay with me and love me too.
It was a moment of intimacy that would only feel like hello in hindsight. Like they were finally reaching each other, like a bond could be forged. Whatever struggles cluttered their path were at once, easily defeated so long as they stayed together.
Optimus drifted in the euphoria of that connection. In so fiercely loving and being loved in return that he was rooted in place like an insect in warm amber. He could’ve stayed like that for eons, or until Silverline did something else so unreasonably dear that he really did crash.
Thankfully, although he did not feel very charitably toward Bumblebee in that moment, the scout shattered his amber with a loud radio clip and ushered Silverline back to their human charges with a teasing whistle.
Creaking, aged and wizened beyond his admittedly formidable years, Prime straightens and tries to look less wrecked. From the aura of smugness permeating the air, he isn’t succeeding.
-Ventilate, Prime- Bumblebee eventually suggests, and it is only then that it occurs to him that he should do something about the overheating problem reaching critical temperatures in his systems.
He ventilates.
#oliverslewty#transformers#sd speaks#pa#harry potter#perfectly alien#anon#fanfic#anon ask#Optimus prime#Optimus being forced to NOT be gloomy for once:#is this death?#this got so corny#but I’ve decided its canon that Optimus is wayyyy cornier than people first estimate#like#just in a brooding sort of way so he gets away with it
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tags masterpost
a couple of people have complimented me on my new tag system and a couple of people have asked me what tags go to what sort of content, so i thought i’d write up a little masterpost of what the tags mean, where they came from, and why they’re important to me! you’ll even get a sneak peek at a few tags that are very rare or have yet to be used 👀. this will be linked in my carrd when i get around to it. i’ve even tried to alphabetize them 😅 thanks for expressing interest, it’s very lovely of you all xoxo
#and i am close behind — home tag
a continuation of “the wild geese are heading home again” which is my nature tag. just for everything that makes me feel like i am coming home.
#and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart — quotes and words tag
from a poem by e.e. cummings. “and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart / i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”. words are just hearts speaking to each other, after all.
#and i was like *screams* — space tag
from the jenny slate drunk history nasa episode, because she somehow manages to sum up fully 80% of my feelings about the universe in that one sentence
#angstposting — disordered thoughts tag
literally just stream-of-consciousness breakdown-posting. probably block this tag. i go back and clean it out after every breakdown.
#but they are all good stories — media analysis/literature critique tag
hilary mantel (whose work i have never read) wrote that “some of these things are true and some of them lies. but they are all good stories.” anyway, that’s how i feel about taking apart stories and narratives and looking at them from the outside.
#can you not hear the ocean in me — mental health and disorders tag
the non-breakdown version. from this poem, which i can’t find anyone but i think is a deleted inkskinned or caitlyn siehl one:
“i am alive;
can you not hear the ocean in me;
are you not aware of the war i am fighting ;
i am alive ;
you cannot take that from me”
#checkmate nihilism — crafts tag
higgsboshark wrote a lovely post about how knitting is a great treatment for existential dread & now that’s all i think about every time i’m crafting. checkmate, nihilism. look at this thing that i am making with my hands. it exists and it will change someone’s life.
#dumbposting — misc tag
for tag games and dumb comments and things that don’t fit in anywhere else.
#fashion is instant language — fashion/body art tag
okay. IS this a cliche prada quote? yes. but also, one of my first classes in college was about art & society & the first thing that we learned was that the human body is the first & most primal canvas. what you do with your body is a statement, a language you are sharing with the people around you. i get very emotional about it.
#felt rather than seen — poetry tag
YES i am a BASIC WHITE GIRL, thank you. the first half of the da vinci quote. “poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen / “
#fill your arms with the pink and white flowers — spring aesthetic tag
from one of mary oliver’s slightly less well known poems.
“do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly
exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with
the pink and white flowers,
with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling, their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are nothing
forever”
#get in good trouble — activism/politics tag
are you really living if you aren’t making trouble for someone? write more letters. leave more voicemails. go to protests. join a mutual aid group. donate. there’s something you can do, even if it’s small.
#i am building a world that is worth living for — moral living tag
slightly different from the activism tag bc this is more about what you/i can do in everyday life to make the world a better place. these are my own words, reminding me that to stay alive i have to build my own life and live in it.
#i care to look on the outside like i do on the inside — gender/ sexuality tag
maggie stiefvater is a poet.
#i have a magpie mind — happy tag
laurie graham’s version of the quote goes “i have a magpie mind, by which i mean i see and hear little things - photos, fragments of conversation - and store them away for future use,” and that’s what this tag is. just a lot of lovely things that i want to look back on.
#i think i was a selkie in a past life — ocean/beach/selkie myth tag
someday i’m going to walk into the ocean and never come out again. j promised he would take me to a warm ocean where i can stand in chest-deep waves until i can’t stand any longer and i’ve never looked forward to anything so much in my life.
#i wrote my own deliverance — creation/writing tag
this is not an admission of guilt. hamilton has a lot of words in it and these happen to be very nice.
#it would be a merrier world — food tag
because tolkien was right.
#laughter for no cause — humor tag
funny things. half of a quote by louise glück.
#let the wilderness engulf us again — discourse tag
i believe this is by christa wolf. anyway this is how i feel when i read Discourse. let’s all just get swallowed by the wilderness. who needs civilization anyway.
#loveposting — affection tag
look, i’m just really gay and happy and i love my followers and my mutuals. let’s move on
#nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it — memory/emotion tag
yes, i have read everything ever written by l m montgomery, why do you ask?
#offspring of heaven firstborn — light tag
constantly debating about whether i should change this one. i just have too many quotes about light. and too many posts about light. and too much love for light. this one is by milton, from the third book of paradise lost, and i memorized the entire chapter as a teenager because my “history” “class” believed in memorization as a form of education.
#our bodies are meant to hold other bodies — sex/eros tag
from that little comic by grendelmenz (?). i KNOW it’s about cannibalism i DON’T care don’t @ me to love is to consume
#seen rather than felt — painting/visual art tag
and here’s the other half of the da vinci quote.
#she stood in desperate music wound — music and playlists tag
from “a crazed girl” by yeats. tbh i usually lie upside down in my bed in desperate music wound but this poem kept me going as a teenager
#simply because the world is beautiful — misc tag
i just think the world is lovely and i am glad to be alive in it. this is where the rest of the assorted content goes.
#someday you will be old enough to read fairytales again — fantasy/gaming/scifi tag
cs lewis got one thing right.
#stardust will turn into kindness — joy tag
okay. okay i am still weeping about this man and his chickens. this tag is for every small creature who brings me delight. https://everychickdeservesamother.com/2019/08/17/all-the-good-there-is/
#thank god for the months after may — summer aesthetic tag
i haven’t listened to ben rector since i was seventeen but this is a good quote anyway and summer flowers are the thing that keep me going through the winter.
#the first sign of civilization is a healed femur — civilization/altruism/kindness tag
paraphrase of the famous (possibly apocryphal) margaret meade quote. i saw a criticism of it by the green brothers, who were like “but lots of people/animals show altruism without any connection to civilization (eg buildings and cities and record keeping systems)” and i deeply disagree with them. civilization doesn’t require monuments, only people coming together to build (metaphorically) something bigger than they could have done as individuals. humans aren’t the only ones on that path, just the ones who’ve gotten the furthest down it.
#the great sweeping wind — autumn aesthetic
yes i am a shameless l m montgomery stan. anne of green gables is my kindred spirit.
#the quick and the dead — fungi tag
from the bible. you know. we all sin, we’re all alive or dead or both. fungi don’t care.
#the race that knows joseph — kindred spirit tag
haven’t gotten to use this one yet. looking forward to when i do.
#the wild geese are heading home again — nature tag
shortened version of mary oliver’s poem.
#there is a history in all men’s lives — history/natural history/anthropology tag
shakespeare knew how to use words. everything is history and i am excited about ALL of it. when will someone admit me into a grad school???
#we are the children of an indifferent universe — community/fandom tag
but, like colin meloy says, we are also the inheritors of a wonderful world. i think it’s amazing how we look at the universe around us and build communities and find meaning out of sheer spite. also i have got to refine this tag set better i can’t just shove ALL fandom content into one tag. stay tuned
#we don’t love this world without reason — awe/joy tag
from catadromously’s comic. this is for things that make me go “oh.” when i see them.
#we shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us — architecture/interior design tag
churchill can have one right. architecture is one of my favorite art forms & interior design is something i love looking at and doing. someday i’ll even be able to afford it.
#we will be better than we were — recovery tag
from (yet another) caitlyn siehl poem that reads:
“love is quiet
love whispers
“it is okay, we will be better than we were”
and we are.
we are.”
and we are.
#within me; an invincible summer — winter aesthetic tag
albert camus wrote that: “in the midst of winter, i found there was, within me, an invincible summer. and that makes me happy. for it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” winters are hard for me, but i hang on anyway.
#you have no idea the joy that is coming — love tag
guess who this quote is by? if you guessed caitlyn siehl, you are correct.
#you pull out the wild in me - feral aesthetic
not feral, just… wild. i don’t know. i don’t think i made this quote up but i can’t find it anywhere else so maybe i did. i’m guessing it’s now-deleted inkskinned or bonemeadows.
#you’ve got to be kind — misc humans tag
kurt vonnegut. because yeah. we’ve got to be kind. that’s the only rule. we’re just humans and we have to be kind.
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Abandoned Places, Abusive Spaces
So I was thinking about how space is a big theme in the miniseries. Hell (in Good Omens) is crowded while Heaven’s HQ is uncomfortably abandoned.
Heaven is empty. But like. It’s not a “noone is here, we own nothing” empty. It’s not a “we sold everything we had to provide for the needy” empty. It’s the clinical emptiness of an abandoned hospital. It’s sterile. It’s empty. It’s purposeful.
Heaven with their elitist bureaucracy and misguided approach to “earthly” things (these guys can’t remember what the hell a book is) would pick the incorrigible rich person aesthetic of minimalist interior design with open spaces.
Hell, on the other hand, is constantly packed with bodies and in a similar way is empty of objects but full and crowded with bodies:
This contrast in and of itself isn’t too unusual. You can see the masses of people (entities?) traveling out the door. You can see the piled chairs serving no use except to be a pile. The clothes are disheveled and torn, compared to the “immaculate” suits of the Angels. Even their skin is decomposing (well mostly, Crowley and Ligur are notable exceptions)
There is clearly a commentary on class dynamics going on.
Where Heaven CHOOSES to be empty, with large spaces between the individuals, Hell doesn’t have such a luxury, so people don’t have things because their currency (SPACE) is being commodified.
Making a Bookshop a Home
And I could talk for hours about the class dynamics going on, but that’s not my expertise. Abuse, Trauma, and Queer Studies is. So, let’s turn our attention to Aziraphale’s home:
It is packeddddd with books and collections that he’s proud of. Just look at the GIF above. It’s packed wall to wall with bookcases.
And, on top of it, we know he’s got the best selection of wines (at least a good selection), he hoards books (usually first additions) and spends his miraculous wealth on things that make him happy, specifically underpinning the Heavenly choices for minimalism. It’s cramped, yes, but not cluttered.
AND specifically not “Full” in the same way Hell is.
Perhaps the best way to see this difference is by focusing on the lighting. Where Heaven is blindingly bright, like an “it-hurts-my-eyes-to-look-at-too-long” kind of bright, Hell is so poorly lit I have to crank the brightness up on my computer to adequately see the beginning of Ep. 6 well.
Aziraphale’s bookshop has no such problem. Look at the below GIF:
The whole room is full of light sources. It is sprinkled with lamps, and the windows (that we see in Ep. 5) are big and wide, allowing alot of supplementary natural lighting eluminating the building. Even at night (See the below GIF), details are clear, you can make out the time on the clock, and that the bookcases are full. Yes, it’s darker than the above GIF, but we are reliably informed it’s late at night here.
Instead, what’s going on is that his Bookshop is being filled with Warm light. Heaven’s brightness is cold and blinding while Hell’s crowded darkness is hard and suffocating. Both have an absence of warmth and tbh “warm” is great description of the Angel himself. He exudes the soft, kind aura of someone who is willing to give you a hug (only if you wanted on though).
Crowley’s Hall of Sparked Joy
Crowley, in contrast, IS a minimalist.
So surely he must be a Heavenly mirror? (I mean he is but not because of this) Instead, his minimalism is much more in-line with Marie Kondo’s school of thought. He keeps only things that spark joy.
While his flat isn’t really lived in, and that’s on purpose, the “emptiness does not really exist for emptiness’ sake. He keeps the things that bring him joy. He pours his soul into things he cares about – his plants, his art, his car, his “antique” answering machine – because he needs more breathing space after enduring hell, but he’s not inattentive.
Even within these spaces, like in the Bentley, he has even more pockets of joy beyond the item itself. For example, it’s confirmed that he has a tin of cookies in his car for Aziraphale to munch on, and he keeps an unkempt pile of CD’s of his favorite bands (and Queen).
If we extend our review of lighting, we can also see that while not nearly as “warm” as Aziraphale’s home -- it is steeped in deep blues and greens where Aziraphale is steeped in gold -- but it’s not “dark” in the same way Hell is. It’s bright enough to see even his most sour expression (despite no obvious light source), and despite being a creature with a black-based wardrobe, he balances it well with his “off-white” walls.
Not Holy, Not Damned, But a Hybrid: Human
Further, you can see how the two are doing MORE than rebelling. They’re not only pushing against the prescriptive styles they are expected to have. Instead, they’re creating hybrid spaces that don’t just reflect themselves, but where they can BE themselves in their environment.
There’s a whole lot of trauma and recovery motivating the shift. Neither Heaven nor Hell could do anything at this point that would make either space an appealing option to model themselves after. What has been done -- 6000+ year abuse remember -- leaves both trying to cope with how their respective sides treat them as “misfits”.
It’s easier (and healthier) for them to piece together their own interpretation of existence, together. No strings attached.
A Nightengale Sang in Berkley Square
Which brings me to my actual analysis. If (and by if I mean 100% when) Aziraphel stayed over at Crowley’s after the Armageddon’t, then he would witness the vastly different stylistic choices in Crowley’s home and perhaps be uncomfortable with the similarities to the emptiness of Heaven.
However, I wager, he would recognize that Crowley’s home is not, like heaven, actually empty. For one thing, Crowley has walls, but for another, he puts his heart into spaces that he can feel vulnerable in (again see his car, his home, AND the bookshop for evidence). If Aziraphel wasn’t feeling the palpitations of love in Crowley’s apartment, I think he might need a system’s check.
BUT in this point of the narrative, Crowley would not know what heaven looks like (at least not the contemporary headquarters that they keep post-fall). He would not know that the collector tendencies that AZ. displays is likely a response to not having an individual personality in heaven. Similarly, Aziraphale wouldn’t know exactly how unkempt and crowded Hell is, and that it’s a big deal that Crowley feels comfortable if not SAFE in HIS cluttered bookstore.
Then, the swap happens, and layers of understanding are added to the ways the two react to their landscape. We can talk at length about how Aziraphel (disguised as Crowley) is in shock at the physical abuse going on. And we could talk about how Crowley (disguised) almost breaks character a series of times as he’s being emotionally or verbally abused by Gabriel on behalf of his angel. But both are unprepared for the kinds of spaces they’re entering when they’re kidnapped by their “side”.
The fundamental problem with how Heaven AND Hell function is that both are cold, abusive, and really, aren’t functional spaces. Like I mean that literally. Scroll back up and evaluate Heaven’s emptiness. Nothing can get done reasonably in Heaven, it’s simply devoid of any personality and character. It’s not bland, it’s much more insidious than that. Rather, it’s false transparency, a “nothing to see here” while they are enabled to continuously belittle and attack Angels who question their motives. They are more than willing to use that space for hellfire torture for Aziraphale, but being left alone in that space is intimidating by itself. Under the guise of “good” or “righteous” is cold-blooded indifference to the health and wellbeing of the angels under their watch.
Hell is also insidious, but for more obvious and in your face kind of reasons. Granted, of the 2 Hell does actually offer a trial, but the depths of abuse and uncomfortably close quarters probably shocked Aziraphale, as Hell’s landscape shocked Crowley. The takeaway being that neither place represented either of them nor their needs. But, that they can come together and create new spaces – spaces that are inclusive to different experiences – that will help them cope with their own abuse and make it so a deep-down good demon, and just enough of a bastard angel, can have space together.
TLDR: Their “chosen spaces” are much more important and healthy than their “assigned” spaces.
Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
#good omens#Ineffable Husbands#aziraphale#crowley#anthony j crowley#good omens meta#goomens#go#gomens meta#anthony janthony crowley#aziraphale's bookshop#Crowley's Bentley#a/c#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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all of the self insert development questions for your harry potter s/i >:3
AWWW THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH MAGNUS!! i’M PROBABLY LATE BUT YESS!! I’M EXCITED :DD
1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?
Nope! I mostly just stick with my own name just cause I like it to feel more like me in world :)
2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!
~So, Hagrid and I have a very strong friendship before the whole dating thing! :DD I met well he was caring for a mythical creature and we bonded quickly just talking by it tbh :))
~McGonagall and I are best friends! we bond pretty quickly once the school year kicks off! As I’m a newer hire to the school, I’m still getting used to how everything works(I end up going via Hagrid’s recommendation!) and she actually helps me in between classes if I have any questions. We both care strongly for the lives of our students and are annoyed by the ones that are disruptive. So yeah, we also are fast friends :)
~I have a great deal of respect for Dumbledore despite his uhhh, “method” of teaching sometimes being straight up dangerous to others. Sometimes it’s even begrudging respect! I love the way he run things but I wish he’d put the students in less danger >:/ Still, I know I can feel safe to talk to him whenever I may need.
3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?
~I’m definately closest to Hagrid and McGonagall. I’d drop everything if even one of them was in danger.
~I mean, the only people I don’t really like ar the ones serving Voldemort....and Gilderoy =-=
4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?
~My backstory is very basic: I’m just another wizard in the world. Timid, unsure of what I wanna do with my life, and lowkey craving adventure.(boi does life deliver on that one fkhjhsjg) One day while walking through many of the forests in the Wiarding Worl, I meet a half giant. We become friends very quick and he shows me around his home as well as educates me on mythical creatures. I find out that he actually works at the most well reknown school in all of the magical world and they have a slot open! I’m anxious at first but decide(after much coaxing and the reminder that he’ll be there if I need him) to give it a shot. I end up making the cut and officially and becoming an assist teacher! I go around as many classes as I can and help out :33
~The only way my relationships are affected is by becoming closer and making new ones really.
~After having no big dreams, my dream becomes to learn how to help as many students as I can to reach their potential and to feel good about themselves! I always to preach to them about good mental health, remind them to drink often, and be aware when teachers and students aren’t feeling well. I offer to take their place if it’s a magic I know well enough.
5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if theyre evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?
I mean, as a wizard, I’ve got plenty! i try to have a decent array of everyday use kind of spells, lots of healing focu spells, and self-defense based ones. (I learn more offensive stuff at the school)So yeah, pretty passive.
6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?
I really prefer to not use violence/engage in confrontation and will avoid it by sticking to the sidelines and only intervening when the students fight. If it were to be two professors, I’d probably stay out of it... ^-^’ the big thong that would push me out and/or through my fear would be if someone I cared about was stepping up to the plate/in danger. I can’t let others get hurt!
7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?
~I like a variety of aesethics but my insert ends up sticking to more formal attire sense it’s a school.
~I don’t really like wearing things that show a lot of skin so that really.
~Looots of formal attire, a few dresses, protective gear, enchanted clothes, and very casual clothing.
8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?
I’m mostly a side character that has her own personal arc about feeling good enough in that place and stepping up against my personal fears to help others.
9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?
~Magic foods are freaking weird so I stick with the most looking stuff XDD
~Red and Pink are still favorite colors, hang out with the other teachers, patrol campus, learn about mythical creatures, take day trips to the shopping districts, read the newspapers, and hang out with my friends :33
~She expresses joy by sharing with others, stimming via movement, and just being all excited when talking about it :33
10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?
~just don’t like the usual stuff, anger, confrontation, jerks, being forced into things you know, the usual.
~I just have a fear reaction to most things so I try to avoid it and/or deescalate things.
11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?
~As a sufferer of fear and depression, being sad comes easily. Anger is an emotion reserved for very few evil acts. I’ve learned to cope a bit better at that point so I don’t immediately fall into sadness but a few more pushes or crazy things happening would overwhelm me fast.
~I’m a bit hard to cheer up if I’m suffering a depressive episode but way easier if I just feel bad. Distraction works perfectly fine in that situation. I really just need downtime and my friends faces.
12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?
~I’m pretty sociably flexible as long as there aren’t large crowds. (Though I don’t like meeting groups of new people cause it makes me anxious) I find it easy to befriend others since I treat others like my friends from the start. I can be nice to anyone, ya know? It mostly depends on my energy level that day tbh.
~I’m only really uncomfortable with angry people, people that boost their own ego at the cost of others, people that commit horridly evil acts, and people that are super narrow-minded about things.
13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?
Nothing big, just exsist happily and not suffer through their terrible mental struggles all the time. Later on though, she decides she wants to help and protect everyone to the best of her ability; no matter the situation. She is very easily pushed into doing things unless it’s for others so uhh, once all the bad stuff happens, the situation and fear for her students and peers pushes her into action.
14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?
Not really, no? Well, idk yet. Kinda questioning if McGonagall could be an older sister.
15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?
I mean, the only people she has anything against are people that try to hurt the ones she loves and well, that’s self-explanatory on its own.
16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!
No one asked but Luna Lovegood is underrated as hell and the movies did her dirty!!
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Uzumaki Naruto - Pokemon AU (Team 7)
I feel like Team 7 would be Johto kids, so I’m building their eventual ace teams based off the combined Johto-Kanto Pokédex from Heart Gold / Soul Silver.
Uzumaki Naruto
Dragonite (female)
Muk (male)
Charizard (female)
Ambipom (male)
Gyarados (male)
Ampharos (female)
Dragonite
Dragonite is such a comforting presence for Naruto honestly. He overslept so bad that he was far later than Professor Kakashi was for the meeting, so when he got there all the other starters were already paired off to other trainers. There was just a little Dratini left, and he is so glad it turned out that way.
She’s a lot more mature than Naruto is and she just has a sort of motherly energy about her.
Whenever he’s doubting himself, she’s always able to put a little more wind in his sails. She keeps him from being lonely, from getting caught up in his failures or short-comings.
She’s a treasure and Naruto refuses to treat her as anything but.
Muk
He and this Muk though, I stg lmao. It’s such a messy relationship (no pun intended). They meet at this gross little pond in a forest somewhere. Grimer emerges from it looking like a nightmare creature and Naruto just shrieks
It turns out that Grimer is a touch-starved little baby. He thinks this kid looks kind enough and makes funny faces so he seems like a good hug buddy, and Naruto is like no! stay away. gross child
Grimer follows him back to their camp out of spite and that’s the end of that. He discovers that Naruto is a lot more annoying than expected but that’s okay, he’s still fun to tease. A couple days being stalked and Naruto finally holds a Pokéball out to him.
They say when you’re stuck with someone for long enough, you either learn to love or tolerate them. They keep a fine balance between the two lmao
Charizard
Naruto is convinced that his Charizard is the grumpiest thing alive. Grumpier than Sasuke. That’s saying something
Sasuke hates the comparison, but the second Naruto does something dumb in from of them? Both their arms crossed, with the same “you are such a stupid idiot why am I still here” expression on their faces. Naruto cracks up every time
As a Charmander, she was probably just as prideful as she is now. Thought she was bigger than her body. Chest puffed out at all times. So cute
As she got older and evolved, she just became more and more of a grumpy grandma. Which is still pretty cute. Naruto loves her to bits
Ambipom
Ambipom is the little brother he never had tbh. They get up to so many terrible antics. It’s prank city with these two
They’re very similar in personality, and they clicked instantly when they met.
As an Aipom he was really unruly (and may have taken a few pranks too far, Sakura forever holds a grudge against Naruto for one in particular lol) so he kind of forced Naruto to mature a little early and set him straight. They learn about boundaries together
Also Naruto would always let Aipom dangle off him, but Ambipom weighs like 45 pounds and still koala-climbs on him all the time. The first time Ambipom grabbed his shoulder to jump on, Naruto straight up just fell over lmao
Gyarados
Gyarados is Naruto’s pride and joy. Cause just look at him. So majestic. So noble
No one was allowed to insult this Magikarp without getting some serious lip from its trainer. No one
“Just you assholes wait til my boy evolves. Then you’ll see”
Training with Magikarp was rigorous, but always fun. Naruto is full of encouragement and positive reinforcement, Magikarp could never doubt himself for very long
I like to imagine that Naruto was swimming in a lake, just chilling with the team, when the guppy under his arm evolves out of nowhere. The sudden expansion sends him flying out like 10 feet lol, but you better trust and believe that Naruto was whooping and cheering for his lil buddy, lake water sloshing into his mouth or not
Ampharos
Ampharos is.. a meme
You know how Team Rocket does those cheesy poses together? Ever since she was a Flaaffy, Ampharos has done one with Naruto pretty much every time she’s sent out for battle. Naruto started it ironically at first (mostly to annoy Sasuke when they spar/battle) but they never stopped and he honestly doesn’t know if he can. It’s so automatic. At first they’d burst out laughing after a few seconds but now they can do it completely straight-faced
But also... Naruto lowkey finds Ampharos intimidatingly smart for a Pokémon. Has an animal ever just stared at you? And you can kinda see in their beady eyes that there’s something going on back there? Almost like they know something. And they’re just uncomfortably staring into your soul. That’s Ampharos
This got too long so I broke it into parts!
Sakura, Sasuke
#uzumaki naruto#naruto#naruto imagines#team 7#naruto uzumaki#pokemon au#the one genuinely nobody asked for#sorry I didn't write a request for today#this is one of 4 posts I have queued from back when I didn't have requests yet#my little sister has her prom today & she's hosting the pre-prom party thing#all her friends pitched in for this giant balloon arch#so I spent the night helping her build it#~190 balloons guys. I blew up maybe 70% of them#my middle finger bruised from tying the knots lmfao#anyway. hopefully there'll be a request posted tomorrow#!!!
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Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker Would Include (Part 2):
Summary: Just dating Peter… and being Tony’s daughter.
Authors Note: This was highly requested in the comments and I really enjoyed making the last one, so here ya go! <3
Warning(s): swearing and deadpool (again)
Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker Would Include (Part 2):
•y'all “tis about to get wilD
•you and peter have a stable relationship™
-y'all don’t really fight
-if you do it’s something stupid
-“I CANT BELIEVE YOU ATE THE LAST BROWNIE, THE AUDACITY, I AM DISGUSTED, YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS ATROCIOUS”
-“ I’m lactose intolerant Peter”
-“YOU ARE A TERRIBLE- wait you are?!?!”
-“HAHAHA SIKE” *cue you running away with the last brownie*
•Tony usually mediates your fights.
-he doesn’t want his spiderlings to be sad.
-not good for his representation in the ‘approving dad’ world
-“(Y/N) I suggest you give Peter back his brownie”
-“I ate it”
-*tony giving you the scolding parent look*
-“what do you want me to do? Shit it out?”
-*cap bursts through the door* “LANGUAGE (Y/N)
•peter still uses pickup lines on you
-“my Spidey sense isn’t the only thing that’s tingling”
-“peter do you know what that means?”
-“yes it means I feel all tingly and happy when I’m around you”
-“BOiIi”
-he clearly gets these from Wade
•peter going on dad dates with Tony
-“I can’t believe you remembered our anniversary”
-“I could never forget it Mr Stark”
-“um Peter…you’re dating me?”
-“This is an A B conversation (Y/N) leave”
-your dad and Peter have probably been on more dates with each other than Peter has with you.
•you and peter are always together
-the avengers freak out when you aren’t.
-“WHERE IS THE LOCATION OF BROTHER PETER?? HAS HE JOINED THE DECEASED??? I SHALL AVENGE YEE MAN OF SPIDER”
-“Thor chill… he went to the bathroom”
•Peter always has his hands on you
-whether it’s holding hands, or he’s touching your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist.
-he likes to know that you’re always there.
•hUgS frOm BehInD
-y'all this is the only time Peter feels like he’s the big spoon
-he’ll rest his chin on your head and your back will be pressed to his chest
-aw™
•peter using his height to his advantage
-he’ll hide your things in high places
-so you call for help
-usually ends in you standing on him to get what you want.
•HICKieS yO
-it happened when you first showed Peter your room
-Tony told you to leave the door open but y'all didn’t let that bother you ;)
-“YOU HAVE TAINTED MY YOUNG PETER HE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME”
-“ father why do you not express this concern for me”
-“it’s because you’re the devils spawn”
•finally perfecting that spiderman kiss
-“WE FINALLY DID IT”
-“HELLS YEAH”
-“how do I get down?”
- *cue peter’s web snapping*
•stealing Peter’s clothes
-old and new
-he leaves a sweater at your place?
-BAM it’s yours
-buys a new shirt?
-BaM It’s yours
-he eventually runs out of clothes
-Tony buys him a new wardrobe
•having a meme group chat with Ned
-sending memes about spiderman
-peter regrets introducing you to Ned
•going on dates to the zoo
-Peter taking pictures of you admiring things
-a passerby reports Peter to the security guard for looking like a creep
-your dad has to bail peter out
•whenever peter loses you in a large group of people he always knows how to find you.
-“yo Pete where’s your girlfriend?”
-“hold on one sec” *shakes wallet*
-“DID I HEAR MONEY?!?!”
-“found her”
•spoiling peter bc you're filthy rich and he deserves the world
-“happy birthday baby!!”
-“(Y/N) is that a car???”
-*you smiling uncontrollably*
-”(Y/N) I can’t drive’’
-’’Its a keepsake’’
•convincing your dad to take peter on missions.
-instantly regretting it bc peter is a soft boi who needs protection.
-“If you die on this mission, I will kill you”
-updating the suit bc you must protec™
-“I’ve added extra padding to your suit to soften any falls”
-he literally cannot breathe now
•accidentally admitting that Tom Holland is your celebrity crush.
-“but we look exactly alike??”
-“don’t be ridiculous Peter, you look nothing alike”
•dates to museums and science exhibitions
-watching peter nerd out
-v cute™
•going out with Liz and Michelle for girls nights
-peter dropping in on you as part of ‘patrol’
-almost activating ‘instant kill mode’ when a guy talks to you
•you putting on the suit just to talk to Karan
-“am I the only one that thinks Peter smells like avocado? Like does he even eat avocado?”
-“I too have detected this unusual scent Ms Stark”
•Peter freaks tf out when you get sick
-like mental break down freak out
-he googles your symptoms
-which means he always thinks your dying.
-“I DIDNT KNOW WHAT SOUP YOU LIKED SO I BROUGHT ALL OF THEM USING YOUR DADS CREDIT CARDS”
-he brought like 50 tins of soup
-will not let you leave his sight
-“Peter I need to take a dump”
-“I’ll come with you”
•Wade is always crashing your dates
-he thinks you guys are friends
-“Wade will you ever leave us alone?”
-“Of course Peetie! When (Y/N)’s father accepts my adoption papers”
-“Why would a grown ass man need adopting?”
-“It’s to fund my expensive lifestyle”
-Wade also steals Peter’s wallet so he has an excuse to come along.
-eventually getting a restraining order on Wade.
•Star Wars marathons
-you thinking Luke Skywalker is hot
-Peter getting jealous
-he dresses up like Luke the next day.
•he finds your old spiderman fan account on tumblr
-when he does he just stares at you smugly from across the room.
-“what?”
-“oh nothing” ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
-he starts texting you the ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) face.
-“so you bet spiderman is one sexy specimen under that mask?" ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
-you want to die
-"I will delete you from my life”
•going to Starbucks for your anniversary dates
•peter insisting you have him on speed dial just incase anything happens
-you mostly use it to get food
-“hi”
-“(Y/N)??? Are you okay??”
-“I’ll have a double cheeseburger and fries please.”
-“(Y/N) pls”
-“what? I’m hungry”
-“may I remind you that I am not supposed to be used for ordering take out”
-“then what the fuck are you supposed to be?”
-“your boyfriend”
-“oh yes that too”
•you wear matching outfits to school sometimes
-you are the power couple of the school
•taking Tony’s car for a joy ride
-crashing it bc peter gets nervous and webs up the windscreen
-it’s all good tho
-you use his card to buy a new one
-and blame it on Wade
•cute goodmorning texts
-“make sure to brush your teeth, you have terrible morning breath xox ~ (Y/N)
-"please brush your hair today, yesterday you looked like a yeti that had been run over and drowned in toilet water <3 Peter”
•everyone noticing how whipped Peter is for you
-except you
-peter doesn’t even know what that means he’s so outdated
•Peter has coffee mornings with Steve
-you’re never invited
•sending each other selfies
-your ugliest ones usually end up as your lock screens
-“who’s that horrendous looking creature?”
-“my fucking boyfriend bish”
•you die when peter speaks Spanish
-“pan caliente”
-“ I don’t know what you just said but please let it be the only thing you say at my funeral”
-he said hot bread
•Peter worries about your wellbeing
-he sets up daily reminders on your phone to drink water
-irl it’s just him texting you h20 puns and jokes
•you are very territorial
-if a girl so much as looks at Peter
-you will snatch the weave
-one time you actually pulled out some girls hair
-Peter thought it was hot™
-Steve and Tony did not ™
•stony are your parents tbh
•like your dad you have a lot of issues
-you’re scared peter will leave
-but he never does
-he always comes back
•arcade dates
-Peter gives you a promise ring from a vending machine
-the avengers freak out and think it’s an engagement ring.
-Steve gives you a lecture about patience and how you should wait.
-Tony on the other hand…
-“I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME I HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS”
-“Uh Mr Stark, we’re 17 and it’s just a promise ring”
-“You are both disappointments and disgraces to the Stark name”
•caring for him after missions
-cuddles
-back rubs
-Peter is very clingy at this point.
•knowing exactly what calms each other down.
•Training with Peter
-having a run on the treadmill whilst he does weights.
-you trip and hit your head
-Peter drops a weight on his foot bc he’s shook.
-you both go to hospital and agree never to workout together again.
•carnival dates
-peter sees a game and insists he wins a price for you
-he loses
-3 times
-you end up having a go and you win a fish
-peter has the fish for 4 days of the week and you have him for 3
-the fish is your son™
-his name is ‘the fish™’
•stargazing and talking about a future together
•you both trust and love each other a lot
•you love peter a lot
-although you don’t say it often
-you show it though
- but he already knows it
#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker au#peter parker fluff#spiderman#spiderman imagine#spiderman x reader#spiderman x you#spiderman au#spiderman fluff#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland au#tom holland fluff#dad!tony#dad!tony stark#tony stark#tony stark au#tony stark fluff#tony stark x you#tony stark x reader#family!avengers#avengers#avengers au#avengers fluff#avengers x you
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-Eternity-
There you go folks, here’s one of the Broppy (Branch x Poppy) One-Shots I wanna write, as I promised. I will write the other prompts that people sent me, no worries. :)
I shamelessly took inspiration from the videogame “Unforgiving - A Northern Hymn” to write this: it’s a game that shows a lot of mythological creatures from the Scandinavian folklore. Really, it’s awesome and I loved it.
Also, thank you @geekgirles for the song you sent me, it helped me during the writing process. uwu
Genre: Angst. tbh, A LOT of angst.
She’d be back.
Deep inside his mind, or what was left of it, he knew that girl would show up again, at the same time every single night. But did time actually exist in that world of pain and damnation? Darkness was all he was, sorrow was all he felt, and screams of horror were all he heard. Everything was so… static.
“P… Pop…” he silently whispered with a cracked tone and tried to remember, the coarse bark that was covering his form glowed red as he tried to move his dead body. Body… but what body? For too many decades now, he was trapped inside that cursed prison, trapped inside that unholy tree while his bones and flesh were still rotting in the mud, between his own roots.
Branch couldn’t recall his past life or his death, he wasn’t even completely sure he was a human, but he could remember her name: “Poppy.”. Her name, her beautiful name that now was flowing in the cold wind like a beautiful music; every night Poppy would happily introduce herself to him, she would remind him her name, and every night she would ask his. Trapped inside a never-ending loop together. If only she’d known the truth…
Well, at least Branch could recall something: Poppy named him the first night they met, a decade ago. Maybe even more, it’d been so long.
“You can’t remember your name? That’s sad… but it doesn’t matter, I’ve got one for you!” the pink haired human gasped in genuine excitement, pointing a finger at the monstrous creature in front of her face. “Branch!”.
“Br… Branch?” the tree confusedly repeated, his vermillion orbs blinking for a moment as he spotted Poppy nodding with enthusiasm and clapping her hands with joy. She wasn’t afraid of him or of the other things around?
“Yes!” Poppy declared with pride, tilting her head and giving an explanation. “You’re a tree. I think it suits you, right? Don’t you like it?”.
Of course he did. After all those centuries trapped in that frightening nightmare completely alone, he finally had something unique for himself, something to hold on to, something that made him feel different from the other tormented souls stuck inside that forest: an identity.
No matter if he had his real identity and his life ripped from him a long time ago… he was Branch now. Nobody could have changed it or taken it away from him anymore, not even the Skogsrå.
As expected, silent footsteps coming from afar caught Branch’s attention and the unholy tree felt a warm sensation spreading underneath his thick bark as he realized it was finally time to see her. She had made it through again, but to what end? Everything would start all over again.
When her bright magenta eyes locked into his lifeless ones, he quickly reassured the human girl before she could scream in instinctive terror and attract the Skogsrå, like the first night they met. “Don’t be afraid of me.” the dead spirit declared with a weak and cracked whisper, finding it difficult to even talk or move. “I mean you no harm, Poppy.”.
“Who are you? How do you know my name?” Poppy questioned with a rather scared tone, her messy pink hair covering the sides of her face and her right hand holding her left wrist, trying to stop its bleeding. She slowly approached the mysterious tree, putting a safe distance between them. “Are you a spirit?”.
“I’m dead… that’s all I’m allowed to know and say.” Branch struggled to reply and used all his strength to lift his index finger, pointing at open wound she was hiding. The surprised girl followed the direction of his finger and pressed her arm against her chest, conflicted and worried, realizing what the strange creature was looking at. “You’ve been kissed by the Skogsrå, human girl. Her poison will infect your blood system and rot your soul. You will become a monster, an unholy tree… just like me, poor you.”.
“You mean the lady who bit me in the woods? Is she a Skogsrå?” the pink haired girl gasped and stared at the bite mark on her pale skin, noticing black veining around it and perceiving a sharp pain that took her breath away for a second. “Is there a way to stop it? Please, you must help me, I just want to go home and reunite with my dad.” Poppy begged the monster before her, dropping on her knees and sniffing, warm tears streaming down her cheeks.
Branch wanted to tell her the truth, he wanted to say that all her hopes and faith were just a lie, a mere illusion, and that she couldn’t go home because she no longer existed. Because she no longer belonged to the mortal world. Because she was no longer alive. But he couldn’t.
You belong to me! You’re mine, mine, MINE! You will serve me forever!
That damn voice, her voice, echoed in Branch’s mind one more time to control his thoughts and remind him which side he was on… which side he was forced to serve for all eternity. “There’s only… one way.” he faintly murmured, feeling small and blaming himself for the ill-fated destiny she would have faced soon. While her pink eyes were now filled with new hope and joy, his were empty and cold, because he knew he was sending Poppy towards an inevitable end. One of several. “Find the Näcken, the spirit of the lake… the creature who plays the fiddle. He will relieve your pain.”.
The same play book, the same story, the same tragedy every single time. They were just helpless pawns in a greater game, no prospect of freedom but only pain and suffering. This was their eternal punishment.
“He will?” Poppy asked with a confident smile, getting up once again and wiping her tears, hissing a little because of the unpleasant sensation but feeling a lot better than before. Positive, in a word. “The Näcken, the spirit of the lake who plays the fiddle… got it! Thank you! Oh- what’s your name?”.
After a moment of hesitation, the unholy creature quickly replied: “Branch.”.
“Branch…” the young woman repeated and tapped her chin, nibbling her lower lip and shrugging it off. “I like it: it suits a good soul like you, my friend.” Poppy sincerely admitted, ignoring the shrill screams of terror and the terrible noises all around her, the dangers that were getting closer and closer. “I know how terrible it feels to be forgotten, but I’ll remember you. When I get back home, I’ll light a candle for you at the altar every day, I promise!”.
He didn’t immediately respond to that, he knew she couldn’t have kept her word, he knew she wouldn’t have seen her father and family ever again. “Just promise me… something before you go, Poppy.” Branch feebly requested and perceived his force abating, the red glow surrounding his lifeless wood starting to fade, to disappear. “Don’t give up. They might have… taken away our life and our happiness. I might have lost… my hope and will of trying… a long time ago, but… that doesn’t mean you have to do… to do the same.” he rapidly explained and sighed, meeting her puzzled expression but finishing his desperate speech. “Try… and try… and try again. Maybe one day… you’ll make it.”.
“A-alright.” she gently nodded without understanding the real meaning of those words, giving her solemn word. “I promise you, Branch.”.
Branch wasn’t sure if what he said to Poppy was true, if there was indeed a way out of that loop, a way to escape from that never-ending nightmare. For him there wasn’t, and he’d already accepted his fate; there were no more tears left to cry, no more life left in his wooden body and no more weaknesses in his chest to beat: he was truly dead, along with his heart and his humanity.
But that was ok, because at least…
At least he was going to see her again.
The end.
-Exaplanation of the story down below-
Branch was a boy who lived many centuries before Poppy, in the Middle Ages. Despite he had been warned about the spirits of the woods by the other peasants, one day he went deep into the forest to hunt, and that’s when he met a Skogsrå, a guardian of the wildlife.
The female-like creature, offended by the young man’s harsh words and knowing his intentions, bit Branch and infected him with her poison. After suffering terrifying atrocities and perceiving his own bones being twisted, Branch died the same night; his bones and flesh sank into the earth, his body turned into an unholy tree and he completely forgot who he was.
All he knew was that his soul was rotten and no longer inside of him: he belonged to the Skogsrå, whose voice echoes in his mind, now and forever.
Branch died at the age of 26.
Poppy is also dead, but she doesn’t know that and never will: she’s under the control of a vicious water spirit, called Näcken, and every night she finds herself lost in the middle of a forest with no clue how she got there.
Her impure spirit is stuck inside a sort of purgatory as a punishment for the sins she has committed during her life, mostly because of her addiction to alcohol and drugs, forced to live her worst nightmare over and over again.
In this case, her worst fear is being completely alone and forgotten by her loved ones.
Poppy died at the age of 23 in 2007, in a car accident, and she’s been reliving the same nightmare for ten years. Her memory is erased every time she succeeds by the Näcken, so the evil creature can see her suffering again and again, so they can play together for all of eternity.
#broppy#dreamworks trolls#fanfiction#mythology au#depressing#angst#branch x poppy#Branch#Poppy#dark#one-shot
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“to all admins (who are so beautiful it is sO UNFAIR) : it’s me!!! sofia ahaha and im sending this a lil early because i wont be home for christmas (:p) and i’d like to thank all of you because i can’t send over gifts due to the ocean. damned water.
somewhere in december, i think on the 14th??? i will have known this blog for 5 months ! which isn’t that long but im looking forward to spending many more weeks and months on this wonderful blog. all the admins are so, so friendly, nice, amazing, interesting, beautiful, etc etc. thank you for talking to me ! thank you for being here for me during the tough times! thank you for your advice, thank you for your jokes, your rants, your posts, your everything. this blog has given me as much joy as seventeen does. really! i’m so happy i stumbled upon this blessing of a blog when i was still a baby carat and needed more knowledge.
but please, you guys, get enough rest okay? i heard that someone (like joshua’s wife cough) doesnt get enough sleep and i swear im flying over. all of you are humans and you need rest. you all are in school and you need rest from school (which can be a pain lets be honest) and a break from writing. remember, we, as your readers and fans, care more about your health than how fast you answer our asks. we want you all to be happy and we wish we could give you back the happiness youve given us with this blog. i hope that in 2018, the blog will earn many,many more followers, the admins will make many more friends, and get more supporters (ok but i still dont understand why and how people send hate to the admins?? like fuck you man, these people work so hard arghhh don’t send them hate just because you’re pathetic and lonely and deprived of love and all the good things in life. Legit everytime I see a post about a hater i want to throw a pan at the shithole who hated on these amazing creatures. @jun @minghao @hoshi @scoups jom let’s go beat up the haters im bringing my frying pan and my sunat knife y’ALL BETTER WATCH OUT LATER KENA I SUNAT YOU)
drink water, not alcohol : okay sO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT A HUMAN IS ALLOWED TO BE A TALENTED WRITER, PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL AND BE A SINGER ????? JESS IDC WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE G O R G E O U S YOU’RE SO QR3UBFD-BGQIF and you’re so talented and friendly and n i c e. You’RE SO HARDWORKING AS WELL YOU’RE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL WRITE ON THIS BLOG AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN (it really touched me when i told you me and my best friend were fighting and you sent me tons of dino pics and tagged me in pictures of him. that really cheered me up , thank you :D) i think you’re the first admin i started to talking to hahahaha and even though im really annoying you still talked to me? like ?? i heard that you’re in your last year of high school and i wish you the best of luck !!! do only what you want to do. Don’t stress about choosing the right college/uni or the right course, just do what you want to. Please take your time with the blog, college tends to stress writers out and whenever you feel stressed rEST PLEASE. pls make many many new friends in college and have a better diet than ramen 24/7 which doesnt sound too bad but that’s a lot of sodium. i hope everything goes well for you but remember if anything goes wrong or u just wanna talk im here! love youuu bb.
10:10 : ok sERI. WE REALLY NEED TO FIND TIME TO TALK because whenever i text you you’re in class and whenever you text me im about to sleep (damn these timezones) sighh. it’s okay if i ever have kids, i’ll sell them and buy a plane ticket to meet you. okay when i first started talking to you i was really impressed because you’re really..tough? like i really people with thick skin and people who don’t give a shit about what other say and tbh i’m trying to be more like that. people like that are so cool !! and ur so pretty and cool sighh im so jealous (you have vv nice lips dONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY I JUST THINK THEY’RE VV PRETTY oR dO I) also you’re really smart ! like you’ve gotten full marks for a test like woah hoshi is so lucky. i hope you remain thick skinned and brush the haters away, but it’s okay to feel bad once in a while, you’re only being human. but you can talk to me any time you feel down or u just wanna talk or rant or vent. i hope you don’t stress about school, please take a break if you have to (i dont want you to go away i want you to get the rest you deserve)anyways i love you !
my name is soonyoung, call me soon : APA KHABAR MY MALAYSIAN FREN ahaha im soooo happy i met you on tumblr. *ur the aesthetic queen* . i hope that we meet in person soon or one day because we live in the same country and won’t it be cool to see each other? we should have a photoshoot together. speaking of photoshoot im very happy to have a model sensei to teach me how to pose. also ur one hell of a sweetheart. you always share fandom things with me and i tend to fangirl in the middle of tesco or class because of you. hmm if seventeen ever come back to malaysia we should meet at their concert, given both of us are going. i’d really love to know more about you lmao you’re so interesting and you’re really patient with me!!! which is reallly nice. okay bb let’s find a date when both of us are free and leggo have some fun. i hope you don’t ever have to feel sad. well actually i think sadness is vital to humans so maybe anger. i hope you’ll continue to be very peaceful and freak out w carats and kpop fans across the glose and i hope that one day you’ll see naega hosh up close and p e r so nal. ilysm bb xxx
my i geddit because wo ai ni so ur my love heh : hello my wife /name twin ish / dancer girl / jun’s / blessing to thie world. oh my god we need to talk moreeeee. ur so funny and we’re so alike (like we both swear like pigs) but we’re different because you’re so good at dancing! heck, whenever i dance i blind people from a 5 kilometre radius. all the other admins say you could dance my i with jun and i am sHOOK BECAUSE ho l ee s h i et also do you know what i would give to see you dance with jun? i’d give up all my memes. yeah, that’s right. my knowledge of all memes and vines and fre sh a vacado. apart from your dancing skills, you’re very, very pretty. i can’t believe you think you’re ugly , sweet jisoos, you’re have… the beauty of all the sunsets in the world. you’re actually really nice (stop protesting) because you’ve listened to me rant about all the damn drama in my life and you gave me advice. and you’ve never lost your patience with me. jeez i love youuuu !!! you’ve laughed with me and sent me dino pics to make my heart explode and you were there when i did something really stupid on kakaotalk. sighhh good times amirite? well we can still talk on tumblr. i hope you continue being yourself, the amazing person you are. xx love you to bits.
seventeenteenteen : i survived. you havent killed me yet. i have stuck to dino faithfully. well actually, my first bias for like, a week, was memesol but then dinosaur found his way into my heart. i know y’all are busy and it may be hard but please rest. please don’t read mean comments, please love yourselves, please eat well. please do anything that would make you happy. each and every one of you are so, so important to me and i hope all of you are healthy. the8 please rest, i hope you get better soon. scoups, i hope that fever is gone. dino, i hope you find someone that makes you really really happy and i hope you wake up with a smile on your face each day and i hope people will stop prying into your personal life because you deserve to find someone you love and you deserve to be able to love that person without hate. i hope all of you don;t feel pressured to keep away from relationships because of selfish “fans” and i hope all of you will be happy. @josh @hoshi @jun you guys, please take care of your aegis. @josh wish ur gf luck for college, @hoshi stop killing these girls w ur visuals and @jun im waiting for u and sophia’s dance duet.
i love all of you with all my heart <3333 thank you for a wonderful 5 months, i hope many more will come.
love, sofia xx
add on : i wrote this note before jonghyun killed himself and i’d just like to say this to everyone. the admins and the readers ; please ask for help. you are not alone. people are here for you. mental illness is not and will never be a light topic. suicide is never the answer. i know it’s hard but you need to stay, because we need you. i need you. it doesnt matter if we are close friends or complete strangers : you are so important. you are strong and brave and kind and smart and beautiful and you can get through this. you have people willing to listen. if somehow the whole world refuses to listen, im here. there are people around you who care deeply about you and please, stay. if any of you feel sad about the recent tragedy, take a break from tumblr, okay? i love all of you and please, stay safe.
— sofiafabulousphan”
Admin Jess: Sofia, bb T^T I honestly can’t express how much your words mean to me. I love you so so much thank you for everything. I honestly won’t deny, it’s hard. I think it will always be difficult to a certain degree to run this blog. Not that I don’t love every second of it believe me, I just (LMAO LEAVE IT TO ME TO START TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THIS) I’ve never wanted to do something I wanted to just because I can. I don’t run this blog expecting anything in return. I do it because I genuinely love, love the happiness it brings other people, because I love seventeen and I love doing it all. If I didn’t love it with all my heart I don’t think I would have held up this long. You’re right, it’s my last year of high school. My hardest year because I decided to take a multitude of difficult classes. I have cried tears over so many classes (I’m crying writing this response omfg PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JESS), I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, a lot of crying whenever someone simply asks me if I’m ok or suggests I get more sleep. I have been an emotional wreck all year. It is my fault though, I did decide to take challenging courses this school year, but one can only run on four hours of sleep everyday for so long and not be emotional I guess. AND I WAS TERRIFIED. I was so scared that in the course of this year, through all the difficult hours of studying and finishing homework at 2/3am in the morning before having to wake up at 6am and walk to school by 7am, that I wouldn’t have the time or effort to do just the one thing I wanted to do the most in the world. I only had one real hobby I loved doing and it was running this blog (again hella emotional and dramatic sorry it’s like one am here when I’m writing this). So I forgo sleep to get everything done. It’s not healthy but in my mind, if I gave up on this blog for one day, that one day might turn into two days, which would turn into a month, and then I’d never be able to do anything ever again just because I kept pushing it off, treating it as if it didn’t mean the world to me when it so very dearly does. OK I’M RAMBLING ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE CARES JESS AHEM,,, My point is, I sacrificed sleep for school and this blog not because I was forced to, but because if I slept, this feeling of guilt when I woke up in the morning, a feeling of “ahh I could have done more, I could have been better” would permeate my mind for who knows how long. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I hate disappointing people. So to hear you say this blog and all the stuff we do on it makes you happy? It makes me think maybe I’m not such a big disappointment after all, and maybe if I keep working hard, I can continue making more people happier, and that’s all I really want. True, with college approaching, I can’t make any guarantees. I anticipate not being able to do anything at all, and that idea is scary too and makes me want to work even harder now while I still can. I will definitely try to get more rest though??? I mean no one likes a sleep-deprived me at 3am lmao, I may seem nice but at 3am I’m bawling my eyes out over homework and cursing at my posters and pictures of Seventeen and school and textbooks in like three different languages (it’s not pretty lol). So yes rest? Idk what that is... but I’ll try??? fjnvksjn? I think I recall when you first sent in an ask, I’m not too sure but honestly the blog is about as old as you’ve been here so thank you for being one of our first supporters (did you have a book with a flower icon hmm trying to recall)! The hate I think will always be a thing I’m sure, I just don’t know how to deal with it T-T I am very naturally a sensitive human bean, what can I say... LMAO I’M NOT GORGEOUS THOUGH it’s called filters, lighting, angles, and makeup. The only reason I look anywhere near decent is because I use a combination of those things to hide all my flaws LMAO. As for singing, I’m not super? I can sing a pitch correctly I suppose? I can sing a chromatic scale? Idk if that qualifies as good singing (I can definitely sing svt songs in broken Korean shamelessly no matter where I go though). I’m really not that good, but I’m not awful like a dying seal or smth. I don’t even think I’m a talented writer, I just try my best I guess. I do sincerely try my hardest. YOU’RE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL I 117% would listen to you rant or scream about anything and I’m just super grateful you don’t think I’m annoying lsnfdnvd. OF COURSE I THINK YOU AND CHAN ARE THE CUTEST (or you and Jongdae pick your poison;) and of course I sent all those Channie pics omfg, I’m always here if you need it^~^ Thank you for all your kind words love (AND IMMA PRETEND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME JOSHUA’S WIFE BC MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT KDFJNVKSBBDIBI I’LL CALL YOU CHAN’S WIFE ISTG I WILL) make sure to take care of yourself and you’re always welcome to come talk to me bb :)
Admin Meagan: aaaHHHHHHH, really appreciate you Sofia ✨😩 Gosh, can't believe you wrote us sub a long essay AHAHAHAH. Also, SUNAT KAU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Non-Malaysians wouldn't understand lmao) But yeeeee, thank you so so much baby for taking the time to send this ask in <3 It's been amazing knowing you and gosh you are such a sweetheart! Also, Chinese New Year is soon, let's go out together ;)) Cafe hopping at SS15 maybe? Hehe. I want my postcard AHAHA and to spend time with you of course!! <3 You are such a bright individual and Chan loves you hella lots. Thank you for always sending us such encouraging messages and for being a good pal really. But for reals, you mean a lot to me and gosh I can't wait to meet you. Also I not model material lah AHAHAH, only a certain days ;) but yess!! A photoshoot would be amazing haha, I can try to teach you some tips lmao. And yes, thank you for caring about our mental health. January hasn't been the best month for me, honestly it's been horrible but stuff like this really warms up my heart yah know. So yes, really really appreciate you man. Keep being so spunky and loveable. Take care, stay safe and I hope we get to meet each other soon ❤️
Admin Seri: SERIously SERIously, you have no idea how much this warmed my heart. ahh i so wish we could find a better time to talk, i’ll work on that :’) i’m not very good at expressing my feeling through words! and for that mianhae mianhae. in fact, that’s one very VERY COOL thing about you!!! expression your feelings isn’t the easiest and hey, use those feelings to brush for those haters. as you know love, other people’s opinions don’t effect me BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG with being affected! just know, those people are irrelivant, and once you realize they can’t do a single fucking thing to you unless you let them, it gets a bit better <3 but GIRL i remember you from the VERY being!!! i can’t believe you stuck around this long , you’ve seen all the changes, how much we’ve grown, it’s seriously amazing. becoming an admin (sure as hell didn’t know it back then) was definitely my HIGHLIGHT of twenty seventeen. there’s not a day that goes by where i regret it, not at all, even when our inbox is loaded or when i have writers block. and you being here along that journey warms my heart so so much! i’m not kidding sometimes i find myself in the middle of the night looking through all the comments or reblogs and GOSH i just see every single sweet sweet message you leave. AND OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY FOR SURE GONNA VISIT AJVBELJNGR IM ALREADY PLANNING TO ONE DAY TO SEE MEAGAN SO LIKE DUHHHH WE COULD MEET UP!!! just augh i’m super super grateful for you message jinja jinja ily~~~ <333 !!! {p.s. i totally wrote bodyguard reader! Chan thinking of you, ngl}
Admin Soph: As much as I love you and as much as you’re my ai. DONT GIVE UP YOUR MEMES FOR ME WTAF. MAN I LOVE YA BUT MEMES ARE IMPORTANT XD. And you might only be disappointed after watching me dance with Jun. Ah I wish we could talk more too :””) We get along so well and Im fucking positive were soulmates just looking at how similar we are XD. Ah im not really good at things like this. Im really speechless because damn boi I love ya and you took the time to write all this for us :””). Youre an angel sent from the heavens. AND ME PRETTY??? NUUUUUUUU.Just like what Jess said, filters and lighting exists. Im only cute tho (char). But youre more prettier than me love. Both inside and outside. You're as beautiful as the northern lights. And like the northern lights, you light up my dark days :””). We dont talk much but we always check up on each other man. Goddamn I love ya. I hope we can make more stupid but fun memories together ^^. And I will literally hug the shit outta you when we meet. Also can we like talk about how much we appreciate ya? You’re always in our inbox sending adorable and heartwarming asks to both Svt and us. I remember telling you that your asks about the admins literally brightens our day. How you're little “I hope the admins stay safe” means so much to us. I really hope you only experience happiness for the rest of your life. You’re a person I really appreciate and love. AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUN. HELL YEAH I SAID IT. hAHHAH Dont be afraid to come to me if you have any problem. I will always be here to talk to you and help you love ^^. Please take care of yourself too. DonT FUCKING SKIP MEALS. GET A LOT OF SLEEP OR IM GETTING CHAN AND JONGDAE. Ah im sorry if I didnt say a lot. I want to say a lot but I literally dont know what to say :””). I WILL MESSAGE YOU A LONG AS MESSAGE ON YOUR BDAY OR SOMETHING. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GADBSVF ASNMK. For now, I love you and take care of yourself. You are loved by a lot and I hope your life gets filled with happiness and joy. Im also always here if you ever need to talk ^^
#not ask svt related#admin answered#sorry this took a while to answer#we love you sofia~#starry-sof#re:admins#ask svt hearteu#svt#seventeen#svt asks
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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Murder On The AYTO Express
HELLO AND WELCOME to without a doubt the most lit episode in history with the most fucking braindead bunch of degenerate fuckpoles you’ve ever seen. Seriously, the casting this season is A-1. And by A-1, I mean that half of these castmates will probably end up in jail one day.
As someone who thrives on the drama of others appreciates good reality TV, this episode brought me more joy than I could have hoped, and I actually learned a thing or two in the process. For instance, did you know that behind the creatures that live on Geles’ eyelashes, there is actually a genuinely fucking insane monster-woman?
Also, in exciting news and by request, my betchy Jewish mom has decided to return the world of and I’ll be featuring some of her commentary. This show is such a great bonding experience for us because I can consistently say “see mom, I at least I’m not throwing bananas at people on National TV” and honestly, I think that’s all a parent really wants to hear from their kid <3
AFTER THE MATCH UP CEREMONY
They got 4 beams and party like crazy, because nothing is more exciting than being drastically behind in life.
Keith celebrates by lifting weights in overalls, and watching him do so is as close as I’ll ever get to the Midwest. He’s talking to Alexis about how the best way to handle not being a perfect match is to have a threesome with whomever their perfect match actually is. Alexis is like “seems like a legit solution” and this kids, is why our country is in shambles.
They both eventually promise not to hook up with their perfect match. Psh, sure, Jan.
Kareem and Alivia are considering pulling their heads out of their asses and accepting the fact that they are almost certainly a no-match. Alivia is like “Keith is literally what I asked for in this game” and it’s like, soooooooo, wanna tell us what you’re doing with poor man’s mobster over there?
THE CHALLENGE
Keyana apparently got way too lit while celebrating and sprained her foot. Because it’s Keyana and the only athletic thing she’s ever done in her life is run in whatever direction Michael is in, she is in crutches with a full fucking cast. *cough, cough* pussy *cough*
It’s officially the best challenge of the year: The exes are hereeeeee! And hey, there is Taylor from last season? Hun, if you wanted another 15 minutes of fame, shoot for the stars and audition for .
Apparently she’s Joe’s ex and color me shocked. I honestly never pegged Taylor as Joe’s type (and vice-versa) but I think it’s so cute that they can cut costs and share hair products. Lord knows everyone from season five needs to save as much money as possible.
The game is speed dating like and the castmates have to hang out with their ex while other castmates come and interview them. One time my boyfriend and I saw my ex at a bagel shop and I legit hid behind a trashcan, so honestly I’m cringing forever.
Here’s a couple things about the exes (sorry, you’re not safe from this either):
UCHE’S EX: My mom and I both agree that either she met him at Church or she helped him when he had fallen and couldn’t get up. Seriously, how old is this dude?
SHAD’S EX: If Shad was as good of a boyfriend as she said he was, he should have kindly pointed her to the nearest hair salon.
CLINTON’S EX: Poor girl got the fucking FBI shakedown from Uche, but I don’t trust anyone who calls fooling around “sexual encounters.” Who let the narc on this show?
DD’S EX: Is from her junior year of high school. Damn, the desperation levels are strong with this one.
MICHAEL’S EX: Looks like she probably has the personality of cardboard. So very obviously still into Michael, which makes me think she probably has the brain cells to match her shining personality.
MALCOLM’S EX: “Well… she’s not what I expected.” – Mom. That’s putting it kindly.
MY FACE LOOKING AT MALCOLM’S EX:
ANYWAYS, Geles and Taylor seem to be hitting it off in the way only two fame-hungry, moderately hot girls can: fucking screaming at each other over a dude with a man bun and chipmunk teeth. It’s not a good look for Taylor, but as the professional drama expert here at Betches (please see my LinkedIn for more), I’m putting my money down that Geles probably came in more crooked than her left eyelash atm.
As they continue to insult each other, I realize this might be the fight I never knew I needed? TBH watching people sink to their low really has got me thriving. Either way, putting on my expert hat again, editing is a fickle bitch and I’m going to explore the ever-loving fuck out of Twitter (or employ the detectives on the AYTO subreddit) to find out EXACTLY what happened.
Oh also, I forgot to mention that Shad apparently lasts for like, three seconds in bed. Just a heads up!
Overall, Keith and Alexis win the challenge. Say what you will about these redneck trash bags, but those fuckers know how to win. Take notes, Democratic Party. Anyways, Keith picks Alivia. Alexis, in a form of petty that is honestly inspiring, picks Kareem.
MOM: Alexis and Kareem need to reroute their date to the nearest asylum.
BACK AT THE HOUSE
Anthony decides DD might be his match and wants to get to know her better. Cute, stupid Anthony. Anyways, he sets up a drinking/20 questions game on the balcony of the boom boom room.
Malcolm, the perpetual cheater, gets super mad that they even looked in the direction of the boom boom room and is like “WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE BOOM BOOM ROOM!” Of course, in a move that MTV def made happen was exceptionally dramatic, he runs and tells Geles too.
Geles is like “DD is easy and I want to throw her down a flight of stairs.” Well that’s not cause for alarm. Maybe Kareem and Geles should give love a shot. Also, that’s pretty tough talk coming from a girl who is like 85% silicone. DD would beat some ass, so I’m pretty excited about this possibility.
What’s even worse is that this game Anthony and DD are playing is totally innocent. He even asks her if he can kiss her and she says that “she has too much respect for Malcolm to do that.”
Meanwhile, in probable-domestic-violence land, Alivia tells Keith that Kareem is like pushing her away by being the most controlling and shitty human ever. Huh, what a weird concept.
She tells Keith that she’s afraid of Kareem and Keith’s like “I’m not afraid of Kareem.” Okay, so suddenly the whole fanbase (me, the subreddit and six teenage girls in Brazil) want to fuck Keith. This episode has so many twists.
Keith and Alivia start kissing and Alivia immediately does what she ALWAYS does and runs her ass to Kareem to tell him. She’s like “I’m sorry, I wanted to be honest.” Whoever told you honesty is the best policy was seriously disturbed. Of course, Kareem feels so betrayed, which is crazy because I didn’t know psychopaths could feel any emotion.
When DD leaves the date with Anthony, Malcolm immediately calls her a “dick rider.” Which would be okay if you were starring in a superhero porno, but otherwise it’s like, the most insulting shit I have ever heard. DD rightfully flips out because that’s just like, the rules of feminism.
MOM: Well, this explains his ex. — That’s like, way harsh Tai.
REAL PIC OF MY MOM AND I:
THE DATE
They go to a palm reading and tarot cards reading date. Really MTV, y’all take Kareem’s and Alexis’ crazy asses into a witch shop? This is the lamest episode of ever.
Alexis is like “I’m super into witchcraft” and I’m honestly afraid for Keith rn. She’s got little white bread voodoo dolls in her eyes.
Alivia and Keith have a pretty real chemistry so they start making out again, obviously. Nothing gets Keith’s dick harder than the fact it’s probably going to be chopped off by Alexis within the next few hours.
Kareem and Alexis, meanwhile, are bonding over their shared mental instability. Kareem decides to tell Alexis about Keith and Alivia’s kiss and they rile each other up faster than a Disney Channel movie basketball team hearing an inspiring speech in the locker room at halftime.
They are like “just because we fucked up and did the same thing doesn’t mean that anyone else can!” Republicans have the weirdest logic.
Alexis and Kareem do the mature thing and confront Keith and Alivia on their date. Alexis yells at Keith for not telling her and how they agreed not to hook up with their matches. Keith is stuck in the age-old predicament where he tries to decipher what “hooking up” means.
Alexis thinks it’s a kiss and Keith thinks it’s anal. Tale as old as time.
If you think Alexis is crazy, Kareem is like, hold my beer. He’s hitting shit and yelling at Alivia while Keith stares on, wondering how this dude escaped his padded cell. Of course, Kareem has to fucking throw a table at Alivia and now MTV brings in producers, because maybe, just they have a problem here.
BACK AT THE HOUSE
The only thing I have seen Geles do in this house is shit talk, apply makeup and pine over a very average-looking dude named Anthony. Geles is basically every sorority sister I have ever had.
Geles and Malcolm team up to belittle DD for doing nothing wrong, and DD is not having it. She and Audrey start yelling back at Malcolm/Geles and it’s a mess.
TYLER: I hate this place, but it’s great.
ME AND MY MOM: #tru
TRUTH BOOTH
DD and Anthony explain exactly what happened and Malcolm is like “everyone knows what happens in the boom boom room.” Everyone knows there is money in the banana stand.
Terrence J is like, “you know the boom boom room is like, the only room with a door, right? Maybe they just wanted to get away for a second.” Malcolm acts like someone just explained quantum physics to him.
This show should just be called “twentysomethings considering basic concepts.”
Nurys and DD, bonded over the fact that Malcolm ain’t shit, make up and become friends. There is no stronger friendship than one bonded through mutual hate. That’s like, the only friends I have.
Keith word vomits that he and Alivia kissed again and of course Alexis and Kareem flip the fuck out.
Alexis tells Keith “to go die” and is two seconds away from asking her murderer cousin for a repeat performance. Terrence J is like “damn that’s harsh”, which is a weird way of saying “YOU ARE A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON.”
Alivia calls out the hypocrisy of this whole thing and tells the house about Kareem throwing a table and everyone in the house is like “what, Kareem?! No way!”
Shad’s like “hey, if I was a girl I would not want him to be my perfect match.” As a girl I also want sex to last longer than two seconds, but sometimes dreams are meant for when we are sleeping.
Zoe is like “I thought Kareem was my match but he’s getting a little too domestic violence-y for me.” Oh, did you not tell the matchmakers you wanted that?
MY MOM: You know poor Alivia’s mother is somewhere praying on her rosary that Kareem is not her match.
Kareem stands up, starts yelling, and leaves the room. He swears that Keith and Alivia are not a match and now he hates Alivia and is going to start the smallest chapter of the He-Man-Woman-Haters Club in the boom boom room.
Of course, Keith and Alivia go to the Truth Booth. They like, want this to help them win the money, but more importantly they want this so they can tell Kareem to take his perfectly sculpted facial hair and fuck right off.
The episode is about to end, and if it ends on a cliffhanger I will throw my laptop across the room. Kareem is obviously affecting me.
Because there is no such thing as happiness on reality TV, they are a NO MATCH. Gotta say, this bummed me out.
Kareem and Alexis start laughing their asses off, while Alivia and Keith make their walk of shame towards two people who legit want to murder them.
MY MOM: Is this going to turn into a murder mystery show? I actually really like that angle. — Your move, MTV.
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-murder-on-the-ayto-express/
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