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aequlinks · 2 years

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genshin x reader smaus i recommend <3

i think it’s about time i did this in case anyone asked me about smaus i am interested in or if you are looking for something to read:] i will be listing their titles, summary, and what i like! these are just the ones i’ve seen (or remembered).

good 4 u by @ilkuni — a xiao smau

lesson learned! never challenge hu tao when you’re drunk bc you’ll just lose and now you have to post a thread of all your exes as songs from olivia rodrigo’s hit debut album sour … or: “yn desperate much!” “yn still loves xiao? yikes! doesnt he already have someone new?” “stop ruining my relationship u bitch!”

i’m sure we all know this one by now HAHA rosie is one of the genshin smau writers i have seen that’s been here as long as me by now

i actually was really interested in this one because it was an exes to lovers, and you all know how it’s one of my favorite tropes hehe

it was very interesting because there was foreshadowing here and there and the plot kept progressing without being confusing

10 things i hate about you by @x-xxiaos — a xiao smau

after breaking up with his since-high school-girlfriend, xiao made a long list of things he should and hated her for, so he won’t fall for her again in case name tries to enter his life once again. for five long years, xiao did a great job at keeping name off of his mind, but what would he do if she suddenly shows up at his door, asking him to work with her?

i’ve actually never watched our beloved summer where this is based off of, i first thought it was the movie because i remember there was one like that

this is also an exes to lover so i really loved it HAHAHA eyn update when /lh

i like how xiao kept deflecting it and yn kept going but this is for my job i don’t like you anymore, the dynamic was fun

i think he knows by @daixuki — a xiao smau

you’ve liked him since the first time you saw him perform in your school’s battle of the bands. so you do what any normal girl with a crush does: send him cheesy pick-up lines through a dummy account. he never replies. until now.

funny how angel told me she wanted to write a smau bc of me and my anons and now she’s writing one t_t so YAY

this is the first one here that’s not an exes to lovers but a my friend likes you but you don’t know so i’m going to help her secretly

it also gives space for angst because dayum what if xiao is conflicted i love it

someone you like by @rrinsluvr — a xiao smau

even after two years, she still hasn’t moved on. all hope was lost until he sent her a text.

this one is during the pandemic so it makes sense why it’s a smau right HAHA unlike mine where they literally meet each other and still text t__t nothing i just found it adorable that way

the way there’s a kazuha leading man vibes here too makes me ueue because i love kaed

i think xiao is on point here or it’s just me but i really love the way he’s portrayed here

still have my heart by @luvinelysia — a kazuha smau

IN WHICH, kazuha’s friend gets into a fight with one of your friends OR IN WHICH, two exes meet due to being involved in a fight with their friends

right off the bat, yessss bc i have a cameo HAHA but my title won for this so you guys should check this out because there’s conflict here OH and this is an exes to lovers

also ely shows us salty kazuha here so if you like that then feel free to read this one because i actually like salty kaed

and that there’s a side of a xiao x reader here so <3 ok i forgot this was a kazuha smau ely really needs to make xiao stop flirting with me

21 days by @v3nicee — a childe smau

after being busy with their priorities, ajax and [y/n]’s relationship went downhill. 4 years after that incident happened their path crossed again, and now ajax pleaded for 21 days to win her back.

exes to lovers world domination because this is an exes to lovers smau HAHAHA one of the best tropes i swear

i like how childe is portrayed in this one and that he actually makes time for yn instead of being an ass and not trying to win her back

oh and the whole aether as the second lead part makes me cry because i am weak i love my twins yall i hope that we don’t keep friendzoning him..

lowkey by @ilkuni — an ayato smau

it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

when rosie dropped this i was excited because i have never seen anyone attempting to make an ayato smau, partially me as well with a long fic because i’m not sure i’ll be able to play him out

the plot sounded good because i love those lowkey secret relationships IN FICS not irl i can’t do that sorry i’m loud irl i’d blabber my mouth

not the way i was caught in a chokehold with the recent updates of chapters 20 and beyond because of the arranged marriage

raised the bar by @skaramush — a scaramouche smau

yn thought she finally escaped the perpetual doom of placing 2nd after she graduated high school. but alas! the leaderboard has her name printed under another’s! a name she thought she’d never get to see again. better luck next time, i guess.

i haven't actually caught up with the updates in a while but i like the academic rivals to lovers trope

one of the lines i liked was when kuni found out yn was studying for a long time?

i alike that kuni isn't too offputting or too mean which many portray him to be as

f#cking bastard by @scarahours — a scramouche smau

getting off wasted at a party wouldn’t hurt right? that’s what college life is for - you study, eat, sleep and repeat. probably do something batshit once or twice. but who would ever know, it wouldn’t hurt right? so why do you suddenly find the social reject’s lips pressed against yours?

i don't think i've caught up with this one in a while but i like that diluc is portrayed as the ex because i haven't seen that yet

i like that the plot is unpredictable because i really didn't expect kuni knows yn

oh i also like that even if diluc chased after yn, she didn't agree HAHA

i think that's really all there is to this post! i might add in a few more smaus should i ever find some more:]

#aeq.help #will be reblogged on aequha #posted here for easy access

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redflagbreakfast · 1 year

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Journal Entry 5: Adios Mexico

As quickly as I arrived in Mexico, it was time to say adios, no rekindling things with Phil, and despite Melania’s best efforts and ferocious swiping, no new flame for either of us to keep us warm in the arctic tundra of Fargo.

Life had been a series of ups and downs. However, I finally upgraded my status and obtained my own airport lounge pass, with the best travel credit card on the planet… the venture x. The $400 fee was offset by $750 in free travel... the benefits don’t mean much when you can’t manage your money and end up with sky high interest and maxed out cards… Nevertheless, although I still occasionally traveled by chicken bus and stayed in hostels, I felt like a boss when I used my pass to enter the lounge without Phil’s platinum Amex.

As I sat at the high bartop stool, I ordered a free frosty mango cocktail and quesadilla. I enjoyed the feeling of being a “baller on a budget” and receiving my free order worth about $24.22. Small victories like this kept me motivated. As I sip on my final Mexican airport cocktail, my mind begins to wander and think of all the stress I had piled on my plate the moment I arrive back home.

I check shopify: 67 orders to fill. Damn..that feels great…but also gets my head spinning..

Most entrepreneurs move from one venture to another, but oh, not me, the multi-tasking maniac. I just keep adding. Four companies now. It’s like an addiction. My plate is full and something has to give. First, I gave up dating and sex, lately, it’s been sleep, next it will be the remaining amount of my sanity. I need some serious help.

Despite working tirelessly and reinvesting every dollar I made, I always felt like it was never enough, but I just received a heartwarming message from my marketing director. She expressed how grateful she was for her job and how it had helped her attend her dream college and graduate debt-free, all while supporting herself and her family.. Although I felt a twinge of jealousy, her message reminded me that the work I am doing is making a big difference in life. I can’t give up, not yet…

Multi-tasking is not something to be proud of. I need to focus on one and let the others go, but I can’t decide the direction. My biggest passion project has been my sexual health and wellness company. My products help women that suffer from pain during sex, and also help increase pleasure. How could I possibly give that up? My design and photography help pay my bills, but my mushroom company is exploding.

My child demands my attention 80% of the time and my mind desperately needs its daily fitness routine. Then there’s skincare, housework, laundry. My friendships and family relationships are also a priority, so what needs to give? I swear. I cannot take add another thing! Buzz…Buzzz. Just as I feel my heart racing and anxiety building. I see a notification from Dr. Sal. My heart jumps a little. The mysterious stalker from Playa.

Buzz…Buzz…another notification….than another…than another. Geez what the hell is this guys problem? I ask myself as I unlock my screen to see what all the fuss is about.

“Hello Pretty lady!”

“This is Sal”

“We met at Illios.”

“Did you put something in my drink, because I suddenly feel crazy”.

“About you…”

Yikes!!!! I think to myself this guy is next level stalker!

“I could be wrong” he continues to text “ but I felt like we both had a certain level of interest in each other. I would love to connect with you. If you are interested let me know, otherwise, I can wish you the best and I will try to get those sexy eyes of yours out of my mind.”

“I hope this is not too direct.”

I promptly respond, “Hey, I think you’re wrong on this one. You were there with a girlfriend, so I wasn’t looking.”

“Hahaha” he quickly texts back.

“Not a girlfriend”

“Just a date for the night.”

“But I have been wrong before.”

What a freaking Liar! I think to myself, as I clearly remembered what she had said, SINCE JANUARY. I decide to call him out.

“My understanding was that you had been traveling together since January.”

“NOOOOOO!!!” he insists “Your intel is not correct…but it doesn’t change the fact that you looked sexy as hell!” His statement makes me audibly chuckle. “Haha! I found it amusing that you asked me if I was “single” single, yes YOU were the one on a date.”

“Well, I AM single and a single date doesn’t change that!” He says. “Want to see where I am now?” he asks, as I roll my eyes. At least this is entertaining. “Sure”, I respond. He sends a photo of an incredible mountain range, with towering peaks stretching up towards the heavens and fluffy white clouds swirling above. It’s like something out of a postcard, or maybe even a dream. I can’t help but feel awestruck by the sheer beauty of it all. It’s not just beautiful, it’s breathtaking. The only mountain I’ve seen lately is my mountain of laundry.

“Fernie, British Columbia, beautiful right?”

“Gorgeous!” I reply.

“Your sexy eyes, and this view, then it would be ideal! I want to take you here on a ski trip, or we can go to Switzerland and ski the alps.” he says.”

“I am an immigrant who is Canadian now, been here since 2007; My heritage is middle eastern, Dubai to be specific. I moved out here for medical school.”

“Gotcha, that’s cool” I reply shortly “So you’re like a retired dentist or something?”

“Haha, if you would have just connected with me on Linkedin.” he responds.

“I don’t feel like you took me seriously at all!”

“I did not.” I say.

“I can tell you don’t take me serious. I am putting effort in here!”

“You have something in you that deeply intrigued me, I am trying to figure that out.” He writes

I reply genuinely, “I will be honest, it takes a lot to grab my attention. I haven’t even been on a date in over seven months.”

“That must be a super hard 7 months, WOW!” he replies.

“Nope!” I say, “I have been too focused on my businesses to even care!”

“That is amazing!”he says. “So the real story is, I saw you the night before on the roof top.

I literally could not take my eyes off you…

Even the girl that was with me was upset with me.

But there was something about your outfit, your energy, it is very sexy.

Now listen, I am a busy guy with work. I find many girls I date don’t get my work demands

They have too much free time on their hands.

I LOVE hustlers. I got to North America in 2002 with a one way ticket and $200 in my pocket. And now I have built up an empire. I have 30 private ER’s, I provide work for over 400 people. I see what I want and go after it. And now, I want you, Kate.”

I feel a flush to my cheeks and quickly try to downplay his words. “Oh really, well me and my friends thought you and your girlfriend wanted a threesome!”

“Hilarious!” he replies “I don’t think that crossed her mind, and I am not into that. I find it amusing that this was the only thought that came to your mind when looking at me.”

“Hey!” I interject, “I wasn’t even looking at you, my friend Melania pointed it out!”

“Wow!” he replies “and I just wanted you..and that is before I knew how smart and driven you are, I just thought you were hot, and I couldn’t hide my attraction from my date. I was in trouble both nights.”

“Ok, I gotta go board my flight Dr. Sal…see I checked your Linkedin” I playfully ignored the entirety of his text.

Wow, this guy is seriously over the top! I mean, come on, it’s obvious he’s a total narcissist, I decided right then and there. (I mean, seriously, did he think his borderline stalking, constant staring, and getting my contact info in front of his date were subtle?) And now, he’s trying to use a little trick called “future painting” to get inside my head and make me think we have some amazing future together. This is like a whole new level of crazy!

So what exactly is “future painting,” you ask? Well, it’s basically when a narcissist plants all sorts of promises and ideas in your head about how wonderful your life will be together. They’ll tell you anything you want to hear – trips, marriage, kids, you name it. And in the beginning, they’re all ears, listening intently to every word you say so they can add it to their “narcissist playbook” for later use. Yep, they’ll use your hopes, dreams, and past traumas to manipulate you down the line.

And don’t be fooled – these guys are masters of pretending to be just like you. “Oh my gosh, purple is your favorite color too? What a coincidence!” Yeah, right. It’s all part of their game to get you hooked on their grand vision for your future together.

🚩details:

#dating #narcissist #red flags #narcissismawareness

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juuuuliee · 3 years

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Broken promises

A/N: so... this is my first story I'm posting, so please don't be so hard on me hahaha... Constructive criticism is of course welcome! I'm working on a masterlist and other stories, so stay tuned if you'd like. I'm sorry if there are some logic and/or grammar mistakes - as I said, this is my first story. I hope you like it, have fun reading! See you soon :)

Pairing:young!Sirius Black x Reader

Genre:a lot of angst, a bit of fluff

Warnings:angst, family problems, relationship problems, jealousy.

Y/N felt bad. Not the kind of bad that makes you want to throw up, more like your stomach was knotting up and that queasy, uncomfortable feeling was getting bigger.

The common room had long been pitch black and only the fire, which was slowly dying away, gave off a small pleasant glow, but it barely reached the sofa where she was curled up.

He had promised. He had promised to be there and yet she had not seen him since lunch in the Great Hall.

Anger and disappointment kept bubbling up inside her, but she tried to ignore those feelings as worry about him grew and slowly took over.

What if something really happened to him?

Before she could think any more about it, she heard a creak and pulled up. The portrait door swung open and the fat lady could be heard cursing behind Sirius, who came stumbling into the common room, but stopped abruptly when he saw his steady girlfriend on the sofa.

"Y/N?" he asked, startled, looking at her with his eyebrows drawn together.

"Damn it, Sirius, where have you been?" she started, realising that the worry was just giving way to the anger that was rising at the sight of him.

"I was at the lake...well...it was someone's birthday from Hufflepuff and I thought...I could go...what did I do wrong, Love?" he told her hesitantly.

"What did you do wrong, Mister? I don't know, everything I think!" Y/N scolded back, theatrically throwing her hands in the air to express her frustration more.

"You said you were coming, Sirius! Hell, YOU even suggested we meet and still said, you’d had a ,,plan’’…I don't know if that was part of your plan, but if it was, I'm sorry, it's a shitty plan! I thought you would have hurt yourself or made it back to Filch's office."

"Y/N, I'm sorry, okay? I forgot, yeah? What do you want me to do? Invent a time reverser just so our ONE date can still happen?!" sneered Sirius, raising his own voice

"The ONE time?! Sirius I don't know if you've been counting, but this is the fourth time in a row you've forgotten or missed it!" now Y/N shouted too, at which Sirius took a step towards her, but she dodged him right back.

,,I know I'm probably overreacting, but I feel like I'm fighting for our relationship all by myself, Sirius. I'm tired of waiting for you all the time, even though I know you won't come and you probably don't even care. It just hurts, okay?" She had started crying completely now and pulled her jumper closer to her.

"Maybe it has something to do with your family problems," he interrupted angrily and raised his hand, which Y/N only looked at defiantly.

"I am who I am and that is how you should accept me, Y/N! I have apologised, what more can I do?!"

Silence.

Grey, angry eyes met e/c, staring at him with anger and disappointment.

,, "Maybe you should change your priorities if some Hufflepuff chick's party is more important than your own girlfriend, Sirius!"

,, "And maybe you should lower your expectations. You're not the most important person to me damn it!"

Ouch. It felt like Sirius had stuck a knife in your back and was very, very slowly turning it around.

"I didn't mean it, Y/N," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes, avoiding Y/N's hurt gaze and focusing more on her shoes.

,, "Yes you did and you know it very well!"

Sirius groaned and you could literally feel the anger bubbling up inside him again and he had to pull himself together very hard not to yell at her again. In the end, however, his temper won out: "You know what? I'm leaving! I'm tired of this kindergarten and this... this kind of you, Y/N."

"Fine!"

"Great!"

,,Fantastic!" sobbed Y/N, but Sirius barely heard it as he stomped up the stairs to his dorm.

Y/N sat back on the couch, exactly in the place where she had been sitting twenty minutes ago and everything was still "fine".

Had he broken up with her?

She didn't know, but she knew it hurt..., it hurt like hell. There was a hole in her heart and it felt like she was losing her boyfriend, who was moving further and further away from her into the mist, so that all she could see was his outline, not even looking back at her. She wanted to reach out to him, to run after him, but something that must have been her own pride pulled her back and tried to convince her that it wasn't her fault.

But she didn't trust that voice. If only she had stayed calmer... Maybe she could have talked to Sirius calmly about her feelings and thoughts....

——————————————————

"Y/N, wake up!" a voice called at her ear and Y/N slowly opened her eyes. Lily.

,, Lily, please! Let me sleep..." she muttered and turned around to avoid the red-haired witch.

"Forget it! It's Saturday...Hogsmead day," Lily purred excitedly.

"No!"

„Oh come on, Y/NN. We're going to Honeyduks and stock up on chocolate! James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are coming too, it'll be fun!", Lily tried to convince her, but Y/N just shook her head.

"I don't want to see him." "Who?" "Sirius." Lily furrowed her eyebrows questioningly, but quickly understood, "Did you two have a fight?" Y/N merely nodded her head and buried her face in her pillow.

"What was it about?" asked Lily, stroking soothing circles on Y/N's back to get the young witch to speak.

"He missed another date and was at some Hufflepuff party. I was so mad at him...I said things I didn't mean and so did he...His temper won of course...I don't know, it all just escalated. I don't think he wants to see me either." Y/N reported as she sat up and Lily nodded understandingly.

"That's bullshit. He knows he messed up, Y/N. Sirius isn't that stupid... and of course he wants to see you! Besides, it's Saturday, so if you two don't get along, you'll need some frustration food, Y/NN... chocolate! It'll be alright." Lily tried to persuade Y/N and she had to grin.

"Maybe you're right..." said Y/N hesitantly, "Of course I am!" laughed Lily and started to push Y/N into the bathroom.

,"I'm sure he'll be pleased." Repeated Lily, giving her friend a cheery smile.

Once in the Great Hall, the two girls headed for the Gryffendor table where all the Marauders were already seated. Lily gave Y/N's hand an encouraging squeeze before greeting the boys: "Hey!" she called and sat down next to James, who greeted her with a kiss. Y/N stood next to them a little indecisively before squeezing in between Peter and Remus, who greeted her with a quiet,, Hi."

She could literally feel the looks of the others lingering between her and Sirius and lowered her gaze to her plate to avoid the looks from the others and especially Sirius... unsuccessfully. She couldn't help but squint over at the black-haired boy. He had bags under his eyes and was also keeping his eyes on his plate, which was full.

Instead of chatting to the others, she followed James and Lily's relationship banter, which made her wrinkle her nose more than once... Cheesy as hell!

Fortunately, breakfast was over quickly and the group set off for Hogsmead. Sirius and Y/N were mostly quiet and only said something when asked. They all went to Honeyduks together first, where Y/N stocked up on lots of chocolate, at which Sirius just raised his eyebrows, but she avoided his questioning gaze and slipped unobtrusively over to Lily, who was sneaking a caramel into her mouth.

Are you okay?" she asked with her mouth full, eyeing her friend who was standing in front of her a little indecisively.

"He's not even looking at me, Lils... What if he broke up with me yesterday and I haven't even noticed?" whispered Y/N in panic and Lily quickly shook her head.

"He didn't break up with you... Sirius, even though this sounds weird, loves you... Even Peter can see that! Just go up to him and talk to him. But stop blaming yourself: HE messed up and stood you up, not you." She said urgently, piercing Y/N with her green eyes.

„It's okay, Lily," Y/N said, and moved away from her friend, again walking to the biscuit shelf, which was very close to her boyfriend. She looked over at him cautiously and noticed that he was peering over at her too, whereupon she quickly averted her gaze from Sirius again and pretended to analyse the biscuits on the shelf with interest.

After the group had paid for their things, they went into the Three Broomsticks. By the time they entered the pub, it was busy and noisy, making it difficult to find a table to seat them all. After a few minutes, Sirius waved the friends over, who had apparently found room at a table where two Hufflepuff girls were still sitting, giggling as Sirius sat down next to them as he grinned charmingly at them.

A wave of jealousy and frustration erupted in Y/N and she had to pull herself together not to flee the pub immediately. Instead, she bit the inside of her cheek and sat down next to Remus and James, opposite Sirius and Hannah, who probably considered Sirius's forearm her own. She batted her eyelashes and obviously(!) flirted with Sirius, who happily joined in her game.

Y/N quickly looked away, unable to afford to put up with this fuss any longer. Remus unobtrusively squeezed her hand under the table and, Y/N smiled at him gratefully.

Y/N sat awkwardly at the table, not knowing what to do or say next at the sight of her steady boyfriend apparently having already found a new one. Sighing, Y/N stood up and muttered: "I'm going to get us butterbeers, okay?"

Without waiting for the others to reply, she hurried away from the table. She noticed tears forming in her eyes but immediately wiped them away and made her way to the bar where many teenagers were gathered. Desperately, she tried to make her way through the crowd and eventually managed to do so.

She didn't notice someone squeezing up behind her and pushing in next to her until that person snapped at her.

„Y/N?"

Startled, she pulled up to look into the friendly face of Amos Digorry, who was looking down at her.

Oh! Hey, Amos," she greeted her seatmate in Divination and smiled at him.

"Is everything okay with you?" he asked with his eyebrows drawn together and Y/N nodded quickly as she wiped a few remaining tears from her cheeks.

‚,Everything is great, yes," she replied and was glad when Rosmerta put the buttebeer on the counter. Y/N smiled at her in thanks before turning to Amos, "See you around, Amos." She said goodbye and hurried away.

Arriving back at the table, her eyes immediately fell on Sirius and Hannah, who were still talking to each other. Hannah giggled and Sirius seemed to be perfectly comfortable in the company of the beautiful brunette too.

Y/N knew her, she was her seatmate in Potions. As she took a closer look at her, a wave of insecurity gripped her. She had everything one imagines as 'perfect'. She was tall and thin, with a small waist and an elegant posture. She just fitted into the toxic beauty ideals that existed and Y/N hated so much. And the worst part was that there was actually nothing to not like about her. She was sweet and helpful and super nice.

Even though Y/N knew that your weight, your smile, your general appearance, how many friends you have and whether you get good grades doesn't change your worth as a person, she suddenly felt so small and superfluous that she couldn't take it anymore.

She noticed tears welling up in her eyes and stood up abruptly, causing her to bang her knee against the table.

Pained, she screwed up her face and looked at the questioning faces sitting at the table, staring at her. Great... Embarrassed, she brushed a strand of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear and smiled consumingly, but it looked more like a 'I'm going to cry' smile.

"I- I think I forgot my... uh my- something in Honeyduks, I think... I have- so yeah... I'll go..." she stuttered awkwardly, though she realised all her friends knew she was lying.

She quickly hurried away from the table and Sirius, unable to suppress the tears in her eyes. Hastily she wiped them away, but more kept coming. She didn't notice how Lily called after her in vain and Remus got up from his seat and tried to run after her, but James pushed him back into the chair, looking hauntingly at Sirius who sat frozen. When she got to the crowded alleyway, Y/N just stumbled through the crowd and was glad when she got behind Honeydukes, where there was a path that led to the howling hut. The path was snowed in and would have been beautiful if Y/N had paid more attention. She trudged along the path until she finally arrived at the howling hut. She just stared at it and stopped in front of it. She focused on the small cracks in the wall that looked like small branches of trees moving in the wind.

She heard footsteps coming closer and closer and turned around. Sirius. His black hair was a mess and he hadn't even zipped up his jacket. He was panting and apparently out of breath when he started to speak: "I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry, yeah? You have to believe me when I say I'm sorry... Please Y/N, you have to believe me."

She said nothing and just looked at him urgently until he began to speak again: "Please say something. You can yell at me too, you can yell at me all year and the years after, but please say something." He pleaded, looking at her pleadingly as he wiped his face.

"You don't know anything, Sirius." , she started and he nodded to get her to talk further.

"You don't know how much it hurts to wait for a person that you- that you seem to love. You do know what it's like to not feel loved and- and to feel insecure... you know exactly what that feels like. And I always get so mad at the person who makes you feel that way because they hurt you! And I think I can say that I'm there for you then!" she gulped and Sirius nodded to agree with her, "But you're never there..." she sobbed, letting her tears fall again.

"I know you love me and I can't compare your family to our relationship. I feel good in your presence and- and that's how it should be... - that's how it should be! But- but it always hurts so much when you stand me up or ignore me and I don't even know what I- what I did wrong...I wasn't the one who stood you up, Sirius. It was you...and so many times!" she continued in exasperation and Sirius wasn't sure whether to let her finish or give her a hug. But before he could make a decision for himself, Y/N continued: "And today was even worse! Lily told me all the time that it wasn't my fault and now I know that it wasn't or isn't mine either. But then when you were flirting with Hannah and you-you were having such a good time, I was so sad! Why can you talk to her and have fun but not with me?! Why are you happy to see her but not me?!" asked Y/N desperately and Sirius opened his mouth to stop her from having those thoughts but she continued with a sad look: "You once promised me you would never make me feel small or insecure. You once promised to always be there for me. You once promised me that I was the "only one" and that you loved me. You promised to be there for me so many times, Sirius. But somehow you broke them all and I don't know what to do with these broken promises. I love you and that's not going to change, but I- I just don't know what to do with it when you- you hurt me so much and make me feel so insecure... So actually, you do know what that feels like...just differently." She confessed to him and completely burst into tears.

Sirius, who had tears in his own eyes, looked at her with a pained smile, which made her cry even more. He broke the distance between them and took her in his arms. He pressed her tightly against him and had to bend down to put his face in the crook of her neck. She clung to his shoulders and pressed her face into his chest to breathe in his familiar scent.

They stood like that for a while. Both crying, holding each other as close as possible. After a few minutes, Sirius slowly detached himself so he could look into her eyes.

"You don't know how sorry I am, Y/N. I don't want to hurt you! Merlin, when I think about the fact that I did it, I want to hurt myself. You're- you're- Damn, I'm not good with words!" he laughed and even Y/N had to smile a little.

,,I love you. For everything you do and for everything you say. I love you for who you are and for those little things you do for others. And I will- will never stand you up or break the promises I made to you ever again. I swear I will do my best, Y/N....and I am so grateful that you love me because I never wanted anything else in my life! You don't have to forgive me now...I understand if you don't, honestly." He said softly so she could just hear.

She smiled slightly at him and said laughing: "So if you kiss me now, it'll make things a bit better."

Sirius grinned and closed the distance between them, placing his warm lips on hers. He kissed her softly and lovingly, as if afraid to scare her away, but she didn't go. She deepened their kiss a little and sighed into his mouth.

As they kissed there like that, in front of the howling hut with dried tears on their cheeks, Y/N knew that everything would be allright again....

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softomi · 3 years

Text

Overdue

prompt: I know I’m running late – I’m sorry. Things haven’t worked out the way I planned. But believe me when I tell you I am on my way.

- A Postcard by Lang Leav

pairing: atsumu x reader (ft. osamu)

general taglist: @graykageyama

Being the older brother, even if by mere minutes, Atsumu always felt that he had to look out for his sibling. After all, his mother instilled into him that no matter what, he should always be there for Osamu and vice versa. On many occasions Atsumu took that to mean that he could take his stuff, as long as he returns it (which he never does), because after all, they’re brothers.

On other occasions, it meant that Atsumu had to learn to be the first to set his pride aside. He reasons its because he’s the older brother, but Osamu knows that Atsumu is just too clingy to stay mad at his brother for a long time.

But there were many times, many days, many fleeting moments where taking care of his younger twin made him think “I wish I didn’t have a brother.”. Yet, the moment something happens to Osamu, he’s quick to act as the third parent.

“Why are you so stupid!” Atsumu screams at his brother’s back, “You shouldn’t have climbed that stupid tree.”

Osamu turns on his heels, gritting his teeth, “Shut up! You did the same thing last week!”

“Yeah! Well!” Atsumu is balling his fist, their mother entering the room due to the commotion, “What if something happened to you? Huh? Mom would blame me for not watching you!” The young Atsumu begins to blubber, “What if something happened?”

Osamu learned at the young age of ten, just how much being the older brother put a toll on Atsumu. So on their eleventh birthday, Osamu decided to give Atsumu a birthday present.

“I’ll be the older brother this year!” The young boy declares, “So it’s my turn!” He points at his confused brother, “To take care of you as the older brother.” For something so seemingly simple, Atsumu was star struck with the idea.

And every year following, they took turns being the big brother.

They even drew up a contract, the big brother responsibilities contract. As the older brother, you must take care of the younger, you will take responsibility for the younger brother’s actions no matter how stupid, and above all else, the older has to sacrifice things for the younger brother. Signed by both Miya Atsumu and Miya Osamu.

When they were thirteen years old, Osamu took care of Atsumu when he caught the flu. When they were sixteen years old, Atsumu used the last of his money to buy pizza for his hungry brother. When the clock struck midnight, signaling their seventeenth birthday, Atsumu asked for the money back. During their twentieth year, Atsumu took a month off school and training to help Osamu set up his business.

“You don’t have to.” Osamu tried to reason with his brother.

Atsumu lifted a box from the back of the rented van, eyes staring up at the glow of the restaurant sign, “It’s what big brothers are for.”

Osamu stops Atsumu by the shoulder, “We’re not kids anymore, who cares about the big brother crap.”

“I do!” Atsumu scowls.

Osamu realized at the later age of twenty, that Atsumu clings to the title of older brother. As he watches his brother carry the box into his new restaurant, Osamu wondered if there would ever be a point where Atsumu would stop being there for him. But he also wondered, if there would ever be a moment where he could finally grant Atsumu release from the title.

At the age of twenty-three, you waltzed into Atsumu’s life.

Atsumu likes to say that it was a meet-cute. You like to say that it was the day he tried to take your head off. You interned for the Black Jackals as a sport psychologist. On your very first day, as you walked the sidelines towards the coach; you heard a mere shout. You ducked out of reflex, just barely missing the ball as it smacked against the ground behind you. Atsumu jogged with an apologetic expression and a compliment that your reflexes were killer.

Throughout your internship, you refused to go out with Atsumu. Even though the first time you bluntly rejected him, Atsumu says that you never truly said that he didn’t have a chance.

“You said.” Atsumu liked to push your buttons sometimes, “I remember.” He’s got a silly grin on him, “The first time I asked you out, you said ‘Sorry, I don’t date athletes I work for.’” Atsumu looks at the time on his phone, he takes your badge off you, “Your internship is officially over. You no longer work for the Black Jackals. One date, it’s all I ask.”

It truly wasn’t the romantic date. He was shamelessly taking you out to eat at his brother’s restaurant. You were no stranger to his twin but when you two sat in the booth, Osamu coming over to personally take your orders; Atsumu wasted little time in announcing, “Order anything you want, the most expensive item even. My big brother is paying.”

“I thought you were the older brother Atsumu?” You vaguely recall Atsumu mentioning Osamu as the younger twin.

Osamu rests a hand onto his brother’s shoulder, his grip causing Atsumu to yelp, “Yeah, we like to do this thing where every year we switch off being the older sibling. I just can’t wait! For our twenty-fourth birthday. I’ve been eyeing a new set a knives that’ll match the new dish machine I’m planning on getting next year.”

“Hey hey, we promised a limit!” Atsumu shouts.

That was the first date of many and loving Atsumu came easily. He kissed your fingers with eagerness, held you like you were the most important person in the world, and gave you all of his undivided attention. Atsumu followed you like a map leading to hidden treasure that was your lips.

You were perhaps everything he could have ever wanted, everything he ever wished for. For the first few months of the relationship, you wondered why previous girlfriends of his would ever let him go. He reasons that they all said he loved many things, but they were just simply not one of them.

Atsumu knew that when he loved something, he was always there. He attends every volleyball practice, he attends the family Sunday dinners, and he attends your college graduation.

But just like Atsumu had mentioned, he loved many things.

“Hey. Where are you?” You were shivering, hands wrapping around your arms.

“Shit.” Atsumu speaks, “I’m so sorry babe, I was helping Samu pack his things. He’s moving apartments and you know how he is, he does things last minute so I’m making sure he’s starting early.”

“Okay.” You breathe out, “But did it have to be today? This was really important to me.”

“It’s just a gathering. Samu really needed my help.” Atsumu clears his throat, “But if you want, I can head over there right now.”

“It’s fine.” You speak, “Just, next time, be here.”

“Of course!”

Osamu looks up at his brother, “Were you supposed to be somewhere else?”

Atsumu grabs some of the empty boxes, “Yeah, y/n was getting together with some of her friends. Something about introducing me to them I think.” Atsumu’s foot hits some of the book he’s stacked on the floor, “Dammit Samu, how many cookbooks do you need? You’re such a hoarder.”

“You should have gone.” Osamu watches him stack the books neatly into a box.

“Then no one would be here to help you.” Atsumu clicks his tongue, “Mom and dad are out of town, the guys are all busy, even your girlfriend isn’t over here helping; good pick there Samu.”

A book smacks Atsumu on the head, “You’re so stupid!” Osamu throws another book at him, “You ruin my life.”

Atsumu grins, sticking a tongue out to his brother, “You ruin my life too.”

If volleyball was his first priority, Osamu would be his first, first, priority and you concluded, you must fall behind both. That night was the first of many, and loving Atsumu became harder.

“Just go!” You threw your hands to your side.

Atsumu was hesitant, a jacket in his hand, “Look, I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” He takes a step to you. You turn your head away when he leans in for a kiss, instead, he presses a slow peck onto your cheek, “Samu just really needs me right now.”

“Yep.” You state bitterly.

“I’m sorry. Happy birthday.”

It’s the last thing he says before he runs out the door. Instead of eating the cake with you that night, he spends it taking a drunk Osamu home, patting his brother’s back as he vomits into the toilet bowl. Even though they were twenty-seven, Atsumu took responsibility to make sure his brother was okay.

“I think we should break up.”

Atsumu thought you were joking, “Hahaha, very funny babe. You have my full and undivided attention.”

“I’m serious.” Your expression didn’t falter.

The cheery sound of the restaurant didn’t match the way Atsumu’s world was crumbling. He was still in disbelief, “What?” He tried to put up a smile, “Stop joking.”

The brief tune of happy birthday is played in the background, the workers clapping along as they sing.

“Atsumu, I just feel like I didn’t know what I was getting into when I entered this relationship.” You were trying to keep him calm, you’ve known him for five years, you’ve loved him for five years; just as hard as he loved, it was hard to let go.

You gathered your things. Atsumu slammed a hand onto the table, “Stop!”

The restaurant quietens, a spotlight on you two as you sit back down, “Atsumu.”

His phone rings. You raise a brow, his brother’s contact showing up. Atsumu picks up the phone, “What?” Atsumu frowns, “Now?” He hangs up the phone, “I have to go.”

You rub the back of your neck, “Of course.”

You two walk out of the restaurant together but you leave alone.

“Samu?” Atsumu walks into his brother’s restaurant, “Everything good?”

“We’re getting married!” The two in front of him wave their hands in his face. It was almost taunting, “I proposed this morning.” Osamu can’t help but stare into his lover’s eyes, “I wanted you to know first before we tell mom on Sunday.” When Atsumu doesn’t answer, Osamu checks the way his brother’s fists are balled, lips in a scowl. Osamu knew the telltale signs, like they were ten years old again, Atsumu was about to break, “Tsumu.”

“Couldn’t this have waited!” Atsumu, quick to anger but quicker to tears, “Couldn’t you just have told me on the phone.”

“I thought you’d be excited to be the first one to know.”

Atsumu uses his hands to push away stray tears, “I have to go.”

At twenty-eight, Atsumu feels as though the weight of the world was on his back. The silence of the apartment was like a gunshot wound and you packing your things shot another bullet into him.

“Let’s talk.” He’s refusing to let you leave.

You set the suitcase onto the ground, “Atsumu.”

“Don’t call me that.” He wants to sound strong, because he has to be strong, “You never call me that.” But he can’t sound strong when it feels like he’s losing everything he’s ever wanted.

“Atsumu.”

The more you said his name, the more it hurt, “I can fix it, whatever is wrong, I can make it better. I can be there more, I’ll stop being late, I’ll clean the whole place for the rest of our lives.”

“Let me ask you something.” He’s hopeful at your words, “If we got married, if we had kids; would Osamu still be your priority?” Your words felt like a blow, “Because I’m okay right now, as your girlfriend, I am okay. I understand that he’s your brother and you absolutely love him to death. You run to him when he needs you and he runs to you. But when I look to our future, why do I still see you running to your brother.”

“We don’t need to worry about that.” He takes your hand into his, “We just have to worry about right now.”

“But even right now, it’s always later.” Palm rested onto his cheek, “I’m sorry Atsumu.”

He holds you by the wrist, “Give me one chance. One more time to prove to you. It’s all I ask.”

Maybe it was the way he was so sincere, just like the day you fell in love with him, “Okay.” His shoulders are lifted when you whisper, “Next month on the 20th, I leave for Tokyo. 4pm. Send me off.”

“That’s it?”

You nod, “That’s it.”

He marked it on his calendar, set reminders leading up to the day and for the days in between, he was there. He was at every lunch, always home early, wrapping you in his arms to remind you of the bliss. But the closer the day got, the more anxious you felt. The more you wondered if he would remember that the 20th was a Sunday.

“I’ll meet you out front.” He kissed your lips, “I promise I’ll be here to send you off.”

You kept your arms wrapped around his neck, “Okay. I’ll wait for you.”

Atsumu was on edge the entire day. He checked his phone constantly; it didn’t help that his phone went off every hour to remind him. Nothing, he was thinking nothing would ruin the day.

“What’s up Samu?”

“Hey, so did you want to take the same car to mom and dad’s?”

“What?”

“It’s Sunday.” Osamu spoke, checking the calendar just in case, “Yeah, it’s Sunday. So you wanna take the same car or what.”

Atsumu looked at the time, four hours until you were to leave, “I don’t think I can make it this Sunday Samu.”

“Why not?”

“There’s something important I need to do today.”

“Okay, but you know you’ll have to make it up to mom.” Osamu sighs, “Her precious boy missing will be like the end of the world to her.”

Atsumu laughs, “Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll see you guys next Sunday.”

At two hours left, Atsumu was prepared to arrive earlier. A bouquet of flowers in his passenger seat as he drove down the highway, ready to greet you, ready to keep you in his life. Then his phone rang.

“Samu, seriously, I’m not coming.”

“Atsumu.” This wasn’t the voice of his brother, it was his fiancée, “We won’t be able to make it to the dinner either, are you sure you can’t go?”

“It’s fine babe, it’s not that serious!” Osamu’s voice heard lowly in the background.

“Not that serious? You’re in a hospital bed.”

“I just bumped my head.” Osamu yells.

“You have a concussion!” She shrieks back at him. Her tone lowered when she turns back to the phone, “Atsumu, you still there? Samu said you had something important to do today and it’s totally understandable if you can’t go to the dinner; but maybe you could stop by the hospital; they want to keep him over night, I could go to the dinner and explain to your parents.”

An hour and thirty minutes until you leave.

Osamu’s fiancée ran out the door the moment he stepped in. Atsumu scowled at his brother, “What stupid thing did you do this time.”

Osamu is happily eating a jelly cup, “Climbed a tree.”

“Of course, what if something happened Samu?” Atsumu lightly pushed Osamu’s head, “You’re so stupid.”

“So,” Osamu tosses the empty cup into the trash, “What’s so important today that you are skipping dinner?”

Atsumu looks at the time, “Y/n is leaving for Tokyo, she’s got some work to do there for a few days.”

Osamu notices the way his brother looks pressed for time, “So romantic, you’re gonna send her off.”

“You’re not gonna die are you?” Atsumu’s leg is bouncing.

“No.”

“This is why I said you gotta be careful Samu.” Atsumu’s phone goes off, he stops the alarm.

“Look, if you need to leave then go.”

Atsumu crosses his arms, “I can’t always be there for you!” His voice was starting to get louder, “I can’t always be responsible for taking care of you!”

“Okay!” Osamu’s growled, “You didn’t have to come here!”

“If I didn’t then who else would be here!” Atsumu began to weep, his lips in a scowl, “I’m older. I’m the older brother, through and through, if I wasn’t there for you, who knows what would have happened.”

“You act like you’re ten years older than me!” Osamu barks, “You’re only 4 minutes older! Stop treating me like I’m a burden! You’re the older brother, so what!” Osamu falls back onto the bed.

Atsumu’s phone goes off again. An hour left.

Osamu looks at the anxiousness in his brother, “Just go.” Osamu waves a finger, “Whatever it is that’s going on between you two, it’s more important than me. Just go.”

Atsumu doesn’t waver, “But.”

“You wanna sacrifice for me, get out of here.” Osamu catches the way his brother’s lips twitch to a smile.

“I’ll bring you back food, whatever you want, just text me.”

Atsumu is running out the door. Forty-five minutes left when he enters his car. He curses when he hits a red light. Fingers finding your contact, your voicemail plays in his ear.

“I’m on my way!” He’s shouting, heart beating out of his chest, “Please, believe me, I’m on my way. I’ll be a little late.” He’s heavy breathing, “but I’m coming.”

Fifteen minutes left but he’s still twenty-five minutes away. You listened to his voicemail, waiting patiently on the sofa. You have to start getting ready to go. You wish the elevators would move slowly, maybe get jammed for a second. Even as the taxi pulls up, you linger outside of the car door.

“I’m sorry, could we just wait a few more minutes.” You say to the driver.

Five minutes passed.

“Do you still want to wait?” The driver asks.

A sigh leaves your, “No.” You were already behind schedule, “Let’s go.”

You stare at your phone screen, hoping for a message from him. The sudden jolt of the car makes your head collide with the passenger seat. Your hand rubbing the throbbing part of your head as you hear the driver yell about a lunatic.

“I’m here!” Atsumu ignores the driver, banging on your window, “See, I’m here.” He’s pulling the locked handle of your door, frustrated that it wouldn’t open.

When you unlock it, he swings it wide open. Out of breath, he’s pulling you by the back of your neck; the kiss making your head spin. Before you can even register it, the sunlight bounces off his fingers; a gold band sitting between his index finger and thumb.

“And I will always be here.”

“Oh my god.” Your jaw is dropping, “What are you doing.” He’s getting on his knee, your breath caught in your throat, “Don’t.”

“Will you marry me?”

Your palms are pressed together, your fingers pressed to your lips. There’s a long pause and you take his hands into yours, “No.” The way his smile falters makes your heart clench, “Not like this.”

“What do you mean? This is what you wanted right?” He holds the ring out to you.

You run a hand through your hair, “I only wanted you here and you did that. You’re here.” You take the ring, settling it against his palm, “That’s all I ever wanted, that’s all I asked.” You pull him by the cheeks, squishing his face with a smile on yours, “You proved to me that you can be here; I mean you’re late but we can work on that.” You peck his lips quickly, “We can talk about marriage another time, but I wasn’t asking you to propose to me. It’s a really cute but very extreme gesture.”

His eyes are brimming with tears, “I thought I’d lose you forever.” Atsumu was truly soft hearted.

Your phone goes off, the alarm breaking the air between you two, “Shoot.” Your hands fall from his cheeks, “I’m late. I don’t think I’ll make it to the train.”

“I’ll drive you.” Atsumu perks up, “Right here, right now.”

“You’re kidding.” You laugh but the thin smile on his face says otherwise, “You’re literally so busy. You have volleyball practice tomorrow, it’s Sunday you’re parents are expecting you for dinner, and what if something happens to Osamu while you’re gone.”

“Practice doesn’t start until nine in the morning, I can make it back if I don’t sleep; my parents aren’t expecting me today, and Samu is in the hospital with a concussion plus he has his future wife. He doesn’t need me anymore.” Atsumu rests a smirk on his lips, “Give me something harder.”

“Wait, Osamu is in the hospital?”

Atsumu blinks, “Yeah, that’s why I was late. Oh yeah, I borrowed this from Samu too.” The ring twirls on his finger.

“You were going to propose to me with your brother’s ring.”

“Hey!” Your gaze shoots behind your shoulder, the cab driver pressing his horn, “Am I taking you or not?”

Atsumu is apologizing to the driver, grabbing your bags from the back of the car, he still pays a hefty tip to the driver for the inconvenience. As the driver leaves, Atsumu lifts your bags with one hand, the other extending out to you.

“Shall we go on a road trip.”

You take his hand, lacing your fingers with his, “But first, we should stop by the hospital; you need to return the ring.”

“You’re right.” He nods, “It’s too ugly for you. You need something big, something grand. I’m thinking diamonds.”

You cackle while settling yourself into the passenger seat. Two hours into the drive, Atsumu peeks at your sleeping figure. His thumb rubbing against the back of your hand. He presses a kiss your fingers. He knew all too well that diamonds would never suit your taste. You were about simplicity, less was more, actions louder than words. How he was going to propose, what ever ring he was going to choose, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was you; that you were with him and that with one phone call, he’d be running to you.

#haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #haikyuu #atsumu scenarios #haikyuu scenarios

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hxneydreamers · 3 years

Note

So to manifest a committed relationship with sp we should affirm & also embody the version of ourselves that are already in this relationship. How do we do this? I’ve been affirming this for the longest but the opposite just keeps showing up over & over. x

Hey!

Yes, correct.

Before I dive in, I understand you're just telling me the opposite keeps showing up just to let me know what's going on. BUT, in case you have also been focusing on this or thinking about this behind the scenes, I just want to make sure to tell you that you should not be checking the 3D and taking significant notice of things like this! When you do that, you could be keeping yourself stuck in this cycle by constantly reaffirming that the opposite keeps showing up. So, remember that your 3D is irrelevant when manifesting your desire, and the only time it counts is when your desire actually manifests. Take your attention away from it.

Now, to the topic at hand!

Here's the thing with SP's. Everyone is you pushed out, and your SP is a reflection of your beliefs and your focus. So, if you are constantly affirming for the SP, and not affirming for yourself, then your SP will reflect this and focus on themselves and not you.

So, this is where embodying the version of yourself who has your SP comes into play.

You embody this version of yourself by CHANGING YOURSELF into the version who is chosen, committed to, and loved.

You must focus on your self-concept as a priority, especially with SP's.

So, you need to affirm things like:

- I am the prize

- I am chosen

- I am loved

- I am committed to properly

- I am the only option

- I am the whole package

- I am girlfriend material

- I am the girl/guy/person who is always fallen in love with, and is always committed to and chased and chosen, (etc)

The only time you should really be affirming for your SP is whenever you think of them, flipping your thoughts and such, but even when you do this, I recommend you eventually link it back to self-concept, because remember that this is actually all about you and changing YOURSELF. You can also affirm for your SP before you go to sleep, and if you choose, at other times of the day as well, but you need to be focusing way more on your self-concept. Lots of coaches actually advise affirming 90% for your self-concept, and 10% for SP.

When we manifest an SP, we are not supposed to be reaching outside of ourselves and change them, we actually need to just look within and change ourselves to be the best version of ourselves.

If our SP's are a reflection of us, then we must start to focus on ourselves more and stop focusing on them all the time, so that they will choose us. Once we choose ourselves, so will our SP's.

When you start to affirm for your self-concept with affirmations like the above-listed ones, then it will apply to you AND for your SP manifestation, because (for example) if you affirm that you are chosen and you are committed to properly for self-concept, then your SP will reflect this and choose you and commit to you.

So my biggest tip for you with manifesting commitment from your SP, especially if you feel like you have been affirming for ages and haven't seen change, is to START TO FOCUS ON YOUR SELF-CONCEPT AND STOP FOCUSING ON THEM ALL THE TIME.

The more we focus on affirming for our SP, the more we place them on the pedestal and feel desperate for them and needy for them.

Affirming for your SP doesn't mean you're coming from a place of lack, but only focusing on affirming for your SP DOES come from a place of lack and desperation.

So, focus on choosing to affirm for your self-concept 90% and your SP 10%, and you will not only start to change and become more confident, but you will start to care less about opposing thoughts and flip them much more easily. You will start to see your SP as someone who you can easily get, and you will stop feeling so dependent on them and the manifestation for your happiness. You will be happier, more relaxed, and you will feel stronger and maybe even more certain that your desire is a done deal. This will make it easier to persist and ignore the 3D, which, in turn, will make things speed up for you. But, most importantly, it will make your SP choose you too.

Don't worry that if you are focusing on self-concept only and not SP, that your SP won't manifest. They will conform, even if you only affirm for your self-concept, because your self-concept affirmations actually address the inner beliefs you have that cause the doubts which held your SP back from you this whole time. By deciding to choose yourself and prioritise yourself, your SP will decide to do this too.

I even had a 'client' who very recently manifested their SP by ONLY using self-concept affirmations!

So, give this a go, and I think that you will start to see some fast results. Stick with it, and you will get your desire!

Sorry if I rambled on a bit, I'm super tired at the moment and need to get some sleep hahaha, but I hope this makes sense!

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inkykeiji · 2 years

Note

Hi Clari!!

How are you feeling? I hope you’re well <3

I saw the ask message you answered about doing a part 2 and maybe a part three on the Tomura birthday piece, and I’m really excited about it!! It’s definitely somewhere at the top of my list on my favorite pieces of yours!! <3

(Of course please take your time and don’t push yourself too much, your health is a priority over writing and putting work out there.)

The funny thing is my all time favorite series of yours is Touya-nii because I see that as my relationship with one of my partners (I’m polyamorous) and now the Tomura birthday piece reminds me of another one hehe- (yes I’m very co-dependent xD) So the little comments Tomura says about Touya’s sister are really funny to me, because it makes me feel jealous for like a second because I’m more used to seeing myself as Touya-nii’s sister than Tomura’s girlfriend, but then I remember and I’m all, “well I’m glad he’s happy :( OH WAIT!! He’s happy with me!! :)) It’s both me! YEAH!!”

I’m pretty dumb but it gives me a good laugh every time I read those parts :P

Okok, that’s all!!! Thank you for everything you do love <3

Stay safe and have a good day, week, month, all of it!!

-🗑anon :)

hello basket anon!! <3

aaaaah today was rough but hopefully tomorrow will be better!! c: i hope you are well, too!! <3

oh wow, no way!!! that’s such a huge compliment hehehe thank you so much!!! i’m literally overjoyed to hear that you liked it so much!! yes yes, a part two is in the works hehehe, god knows when it’ll be posted because i really need to stop procrastinating and finally finish my tag you’re it series lmao BUT with all of that being said, there will most definitely be a part two to my flawless series!! <333 also, thank you for such kind words of encouragement!! i will try my best to keep them in mind <3

hahaha awww well, you’re definitely not alone in that feeling!!! but yes! they are both you!!! hehehe

aw thank you sweetpea!!! i hope your weekend has been well so far and that you’re resting and drinking lots of water!! <333

#thank you for your feedback sweet basket anon i really appreciate it!!!#i’m so happy to hear it ranks that high in your personal rankings!!!#part one is very fun and honeymoon-like #part two is darker #but still fun because duh it’s bratty tomura <333333 #i hope you are staying safe as well!!#and that this upcoming week treats you beautifully <3 #sending much love n health ur way! <33 #🗑.anon #clari gets mail

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vagrantblvrd · 3 years

Text

Modern day spy/assassin AU where former singer/musician/~artiste works in a cozy little coffee shop neatly sandwiched between a bookstore and, idk, a flower shop.

Expected to be one of the hottest new stars coming out of Oxenfurt if it hadn’t been for that scandal with fellow band member and rumored lover Valdo Marx over alleged song theft and so on. Followed by a messy break up - band and personal - and a drawn out legal battle that drained what money Valdo hadn’t stolen from him.

(And a year or so after all that Jaskier doesn’t like to think about too much before he got his feet back under him and a friend mentioned this coffee shop she frequented, and anyway, he’s doing much better now and also somehow ends up owning it himself when its previous owner retires and sells the business to him for like, five bucks, because the power of friendship or something, idk.)

One day on his way home he stumbles over someone half dead in an alley and is like oh, oh, no because the last thing he needs is another scandal attached to his name?

Like.

He’s kept his nose clean for just over six month now, has been playing around with new melodies and bought a new notebook for lyrics and whatnot. Looked into playing at some local places, not really wanting to be a megastar or whatever these days, but he loves music and performing in a little bar somewhere would be nice, you know?

ANYWAY.

Turns out the guy isn’t actually dead, thank goodness but might as well be? Has this medallion around his neck, a cat? Which, okay, whatever he’s seen stranger and he’s getting his phone out to call an ambulance or whatever, crouched next to the guy.

Memory from the CPR course he took in college surfaces in his mind - the instructor was hot and even if Jaskier never got the guy’s number he learned valuable life skills. (And also met Shani and that proved better than getting the guy’s number because she’s one of his best friends and also incredible and anyway.)

Reaches out to check for a pulse, which is when the guy grabs his wrist - surprisingly strong grip for someone who looks like he lost a fight with a freight train - and hsi eyes snap open and they are...extremely striking and not at all normal - cat eyes, to go with the cat medallion and hahaha, oh shit, this is bad, bad news, isn’t it?

The guy tries to threaten him, which. Not as effective when the growl he’s trying for just sounds sad and pathetic, and anyway, there’s something...not fear, no, in his eyes, that has Jaskier forgetting to put the call through for an ambulance.

It’s very close to fear though. Worry? Concern? Something that Jaskier relates to in some incredibly fucked up way.

(The way he felt when Valdo Marx fucked him over and everything he’d built fell apart around him, and anyway, yes.)

He doesn’t even know why, he does, or why he ends up hauling the guy up to his apartment and patches him up best he can with wwhat he has on hand.

Will probably end up being murdered by the guy the moment he’s on his feet, but eh, that’s a problem for future Jaskier, really.)

Anyway, Aiden - because of course it’s Aiden - is super suspicious of Jaskier and his everything and there is indeed a moment where he pins Jaskier to a wall with a kitchen knife - it was an apartment-warming gift from Shani and Essi and Jaskier’s more worried about it being damaged than Aiden slitting his throat, which just confuses Aiden?

Because what even is Jaskier and his priorities???

But he doesn’t kill Jaskier and the knife gets put back and aside from that little bump in their relationship they actually become friends after that.

Jaskier takes to referring to Aiden as a stray cat whenever one of his friends or whoever asks why he buys more groceries or hurries home after work instead of sticking around to gossip a bit the way he usually does.

Aiden thinks it’s hilarious as opposed to insulting, which is great seeing as how Jaskier’s pretty sure the man’s a hitman or assassin or other similar career?

(Might be the way he mentions past jobs and his dark sense of humor and also the time he could have killed Jaskier if he felt he was a threat? So, yes.)

And Aiden, okay.

Got burned or something to leave him half dead in an alley for just anyone to stumble over and since Jaskier hasn’t made any fuss about him moving out decides he might as well stay where he is for the time being, you know?

He goes and gets a job...somewhere to help with rent and so on. Offers Jaskier enough hints to make it sound like he’s out murderizing people right and left the moment he’s out of the apartment, but then Jaskier sees him helping Triss bring in deliveries out behind the flower shop so he knows Aiden’s been fucking with him on that front and is like, dude, not funny.

(Aiden begs to disagree, but whatever.)

And then!

A month or so after Aiden’s back on his feet Jaskier runs into one of the owners of the bookshop next door?

New management and so on, and oh no, he’s exceedingly hot.

White hair and gold eyes and, sure, he’s not the most talkative guy around? But Jaskier’s cracked tougher nuts or some other way of phrasing it that doesn’t sound like a euphemism.

Also, also, there’s another painfully attractive man working there who is incredibly sweet and has a menace of a goat that they have instead of a bookstore cat?

Which.

Seems like a bad idea since Jaskier often hears about how Lil Bleater nibbles on the books if someone isn’t watching her and anyway, it means he gets to listen to Eskel lament about her latest misadventures while Geralt stands there and tries not to let on how amused he is by both the bookstoer goat and her owner and Jaskier is like shit, because Geralt and Eskel are so, so hot and he’s only human and Aiden, Aiden, do not laugh at his pain, you utter bastard of a man.

ANYWAY.

Shenanigans in which Geralt and Eskel think Jaskier has this insufferable bastard of a former stray cat at home and Jaskier piiiiines like a sad bastard while Aiden laughs and laughs and laughs.

(It should be pointed out that not once in all the time Aiden started working for Triss - and Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert - who Jaskier has heard all about but not yet met - have seen one another even though they spend most of the working day a few hundred feet apart, because Plot Reasons.)

And then!

Some shenanigans in which Geralt or Eskel - who are totally spies who are using their cozy little bookshop as a cover - get tangled up in trouble and Jaskier stumbles on them with this incredible sense of deja vu.

He drags them into the coffee shop to patch them up, and he forgets to lock the front door, which is convenient because then Aiden wanders in hoping for a free coffee?

(Power of ~friendship, and also roommates, and yes.)

Jaskier is kind of covered in blood - Geralt and Eskel’s - and Aiden is immediately in Assassin!Mode because he’s fond of Jaskier, right, owes him his life and such.

But also, Geralt and Eskel who have also had their oh, oh no he’s hot moment when it comes to Jaskier are likewise fond of him - and working up the nerve to ask him for a date, but that’s neither here nor there - go into Spy!Mode and there’s an honestly kind of terrifying, kind of sad stand-off.

Jaskier is in Adrenaline!Mode because fuck his life, of course Geralt and Eskel can’t just be incredibly hot bookstore owners and is like “If you fuck up my coffee shop I will not be happy, and also please consider my delicate sensibilities,”

Which manages to stop whatever fight was about to break out and he essentially does the Chris Pratt with the raptors thing, only with a couple of spies and his assassin roommate.

Pretends the three of them aren’t throwing menacing looks at one another as he patches Geralt and Eskel up and then is like “Well, that was fun!” because no, no it was not, and his heart is going to burst with all the tension and whatnot in the air. and hahaha, this is fine.

Which of course is when Lambert comes stomping through the front door and there is even more Drama and Angst because his ~forbidden relationship with Assassin!Aiden and heartbreak when it was assumed he’d been killed by his agency a few months back, but wait, he’s still alive???

And idk, just a lot of ridiculous spy movie cliche nonsense in which Jaskier is reluctantly dragged into things because he saved Aiden’s life that one time, and is piiiiining for Geralt and Eskel and of course he gets taken hostage and they have to band together to save him but shenanigans and ~plot twists and so on.

(And then when it seems all is lost Triss and her utterly terrifying girlfriend Yennefer actually save the day because they, too, are spies and Jaskier would honestly like to know if he’s the only normal person he knows or what, because really, what are the odds???)

Whenever the death-defying events and such are over Jaskier does, actually, go on a date with Geralt and Eskel and some smooching happens.

(Technically not their first, because that happened after they saved Jaskier’s life in that oh thank god none of us died moment after all the danger and excitement, but none of them mind, because smooches.)

Lambert and Aiden make fun of the three of them, but gently because they, too, are prime targets for mockery as they also decide to try a proper relationship and not just stolen moments here and there, and anyway, anyway

A year or so down the road Jaskier gets tired of coming home to find the two in compromising situations and is like, why, though, which conveniently happens around the time Geralt and Eskel approach him about moving in with them somewhere and he’s like, well, if he must, like he’s not thrilled about it because he’s kind of gone on the two of them, you know?

So they get this place big enough for the three of them and Lil Bleater and Aiden and Lambert get his old place and it all works out?

Sure, sure, there are a few close moments where Geralt and Eskel’s work puts Jaskier in danger, and that time whoever tried to kill Aiden targets Jaskier and so on?

But he’s like, eh, it happens, because obviously it does.

Which means Geralt and Eskel take it upon themselves to teach him to defend himself - and half the time it ends in smooches and sexytimes because hand-to-hand and being pinned to mats and adjusting his stance while learning how to use firearms and such, you know?

But also Aiden and Lambert teaching Jaskier knives and explosives - “I’m sorry, but one of these things is not like the others,” in regard to Lambert and his explosives, but it’s a ~bonding moment, so whatever.

(Also, also, that time Jaskier was able to defuse a bomb in some highly improbable and ridiculous bit of shenanigans with spy nonsense and Lambert being a smug prick about it for forever afterwards.)

And then Jaskier finds out Geralt has this incredible kid with Yennefer and what the hell is his life that all these people know each other and he doesn’t find out about it until ages afterwards, but anyway.

Ciri is awesome and after her Vesemir comes to meet the guy two of his sons are in love with, and Coen shows up along with other assorted characters I’ve forgotten and anyway, yes???

(Also, also, Yennefer happens to find out about Valdo Marx and she straightens out that mess quietly and efficiently in such a way that Jaskier doesn’t realize it until long after the fact and is like hm, because he didn’t think she particularly liked him, but apparently he was wrong? Which leads to brunch dates with her and Triss and gossiping about the other idiots in their lives and discussing Jaskier giving Ciri music lessons and anyway, yes.)

#witcher nonsense #geraskel #geralt/eskel/jaskier #aiden/lambert #technically not a fic #vagrant fic #stray cat au #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#long post #the witcher

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1248

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? I feel like I’ve answered a similar situation recently, but I would assume it was a drunk text or wrong text, inform them about it, and move on.

Do you play video games? Nah. I do feel a sort of connection of video games since I grew up surrounded by them, though; but I’m more of a watcher than anything. I like watching playthroughs of video games I’ll never play. Do you spend a lot of time with family? No. We used to, back when the quarantine was still a relatively new thing – we hung out in the living room all the time. But now that we’ve settled in this new normal, we’re back to our normal routines and I usually like staying in my room.

Is your house more than two stories tall? Technically, yes. We have a rooftop that serves as the ‘third’ floor.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? My ex and I never hit one another; that’s a gigantic red flag even I would notice, considering I ignored most of the ones I saw hahaha.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) I’m not sure if I’ll be able to answer this question directly, but I like my generosity. I’m not sure if I can call it attractive, though. But if we were focusing on physical features, I like my smile.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? Pink.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? My dad splurged on chips in his last grocery run so we actually have quite a lot of junk food in the pantry at the moment. He also bought several packs of cookie sandwiches, wafers, sunflower seeds, and garlic-flavored peanuts.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? Neither.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? No, she’s just a good friend of mine.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? I guess I don’t, because I’m not even aware of them.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Guy. It was another reporter, so I just ignored it and luckily he didn’t PM me just to ask to add him back, which others have already done. I really hate when work people try to make their way into my personal accounts.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My parents, especially when they are rude to service crew. Gen X-ers are impeccably talented at that, apparently.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? Around two or three weeks ago when I had dinner at Angela’s. Her dad gave me a bar of Crunch so I can have something sweet after our meal.

Do you play any games on Facebook? No, I never did hop on that trend.

What would you like to get a degree in? I wanted a degree in journalism, and graduated with such. At the end of my college stint I didn’t want to pursue it anymore, but I pushed through with it anyway because it was too much of a hassle to shift and start all over.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Technically not, because I stay up until the middle of the night anyway. It’s been a while since I fell asleep anywhere between 8 to 10 PM.

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Watch a show.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? I don’t like either; I get fries instead.

What genre of films do you like the best? Drama.

How many bank accounts do you have? Two but I haven’t been using the other one in months. That was the bank account I initially opened when I first started ~adulting~ but when I got employed I was required to enroll in this other specific bank, so that’s what I mainly use now.

Have you ever had the flu? Not really. I just get the occasional fever that pop out of nowhere.

What is your goal for the next few months? Start saving FOR REAL, and also prioritizing furniture over merch for a while so I can finally fix up my room, which is quickly starting to look and feel like just a warehouse and not very homey at all.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? Nope.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yeah, it was from barbecue that apparently went bad, even though it tasted nothing of the sort. I woke up at 3 AM sweating profusely and with the most excruciating stomachache; I was feeling hot, cold, and nauseous all at the same time, and it probably lasted for like an hour or so.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Sealed albums and my pets’ vet expenses.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. Charming and smart.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? It felt nice to help people.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? Good question; I’ve never encountered this before. I would let her live a more comfortable, privileged life, where she didn’t have to staple her shoes to keep them closed or have to choose between eating at a fast food restaurant or being able to commute back home.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I’m not sure, actually. Everyone’s always slightly taller than me.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? I haven’t.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? Tumblr, I guess? My survey blog isn’t for any irls to see.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? I don’t really do either often, but I’ll go with mopping.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? Not for me.

Did you pull a senior prank? No, that’s not a thing here. Did you graduate? Yeah, elementary, high school, and college.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope.

What was the last song you listened to? It’s a song called Epiphany.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? Not ever since I was like 9 lol.

Is fashion one of your interests? I’m way more interested in it now for sure, mostly because the celebrities I’m into these days put a lot of effort when it comes to their style; so it makes me more aware of the trends that come and go, as well.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? I’m keeping it as a possibility, but it’s not a priority for me now.

Do you care what people think? To an extent, I would say. My life doesn’t depend on it, though.

Is acting something you enjoy? Never been.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? Do you mean a thing or a body part? Anyway, I’ll answer both. The last thing I broke was my BTS Mic Drop pen of V looooooooooool the figurine came off the pen :(( It was pretty cheap though so I’m fine with it; I can always get another one. Last body part I sprained was my ankle, when I had a bad fall a couple of years ago.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? Either hasn’t happened.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? I don’t think so.

Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at? Angela’s. Also JM’s, just because their family doesn’t hover and that vibe can sometimes be nice whenever I’m at someone else’s place.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? Never.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? Not as a very young kid, but I took up table tennis starting when I was 12. Did you ever watch the show Full House? Nope.

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? Now that’s just delusional haha. I’m pretty obsessed with some celebrities, that much I can admit; but thinking of them in the context of marriage is so many steps overboard.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? No. I could, but I am scared of fire and will probably just think of other ways to express my anger, like tearing up the photograph. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? Total length was probably like 3 hours. I haven’t gone too far when it comes to hiking.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? Not interested.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Hans.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? My mom tried it once in her life, I think. My dad has never smoked.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? “Hope right here!”

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Anything that’s supposed to roam freely in the wild, like squirrels.

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller, since I’m already quite pint-sized to begin with lol.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. < Agree, especially with the eras. Childhood photos are always fun to look at, but I have had to delete a CHUNK of photos from years ranging from 2014 to 2020 because I’ve lost a handful of friends from that period.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? It’s hard to for the most part, but I’ve noticed very few people people really don’t. Most of the time it’s bullshit though.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? That it’s pretty close to the metro.

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? Hmm, I prefer TV shows if I’m craving comedy.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? Life Is Beautiful.

What’s your favorite restaurant? Omakase for my sushi fix; School Tteokbokki if I want Korean; Yabu if I’m looking for a generous rice meal.

Is there a dessert you don’t like? Anything with fruits.

Favorite album? After Laughter by Paramore.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? I can name authors instead of books – John Green and Haruki Murakami.

Underwater or outer space? Outer space.

Dogs or cats? Dogs.

Kittens or puppies? Puppies.

Bird watching or whale watching? Whale watching. I don’t get to be in the water as much, so I would jump at the opportunity.

What is your spirit animal? I dunno if I have one but let’s just go with dog and elephant, I guess? They’re my favorites.

What was your best subject in school? History.

What was your worst subject in school? Chemistry.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Don’t waste your time.

Who is your fashion icon? Audrey Hepburn.

Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds.

What color dress did you wear to prom? For my own prom it was cream-colored/beige. When I went to Mike’s ball, I went with a royal blue gown.

What’s your favorite plot-twist? I don’t think I’ve found my favorite yet.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Not actively.

Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? I dunno...road rage, maybe?

Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad? It’s very likely.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? Sometime in the last week.

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? No thanks.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? Nope.

Who are you closest to? Angela.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No, all the ones I’ve been to have been amazing experiences.

Are you currently sad about anything? Not really. I can’t complain.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Nah.

Can you handle blood? Nope, I will feel faint if I see it 100%.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? I haven’t.

Are you currently searching for a job? No, I like the one I have.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? No?

#survey #surveys

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divinationcentral · 3 years

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Pick-A-Card: Love & Romance What’s next?

Choose: Left to Right - 1, 2, 3.

Reveal:

#1. The Hanged Man - Sacrifice. Bonding. A strong bond, even if platonic; magic action against impediments and impotence.

Right now you may be considering how you can break this barrier between you and another person. Likely there is something very important holding the two of you together... like say a relationship you’ve come to build over time. You may be friends with this person already, and you may not be certain how to move into a more favorable relationship with them, say, one where there is intimacy involved.

You, yourself may be afraid of these intimate acts. Not because they’re scary, but because there is an element of how good you will perform in bed lets say, that kind of keeps you uncertain of moving towards that next step. I think if you need to, try and find a way to balance your desires with your respect for this person, and concern yourself with sex after the fact: in which you’ve already established a strong and committed partnership/relationship with them (so you are more comfortable being open about the subject matter). That way the intimate aspect of the relationship can be explored, later, together, with no shame attached to it.

Continue doing what you are doing. You are building up to that moment. Right now it’s just a period of creating the atmosphere for it, if you will...

You want to ask them. There is a right time and place, and you will come to recognize it with some patience. This person will surrender to you in a very intimate way, if you can savor the commitment at it’s finest: which is here in the present. And you can have that moment just a little while longer.

#2. The Page of Pentacles - Arousal. The Magic of the Wine Goblet. Transgression leads to excitement, but neither one nor the other can last without some moderation.

You may have to draw a line between “transgression” & “excitement” haha... A transgression is doing something that you’re not supposed to. Excitement is self explanatory... You may be doing something with someone that you find exciting, but isn’t your norm/ not your usual, or may even be a little frowned upon (like maybe you shouldn’t be having sex with this individual at all, but you want to? or be involved in some way). BUT, this could range from anything like: sex on the first date, to trying something new with an already established partnership (like: kinks, or just, different - could be kissing on the first date for all I know, lol, doesn’t have to be all that crude).

Anyway... Whatever it is. I think it excites you to get to know someone new (or this side of someone is incredibly new to you). Maybe someone who isn’t your type. They stir up feelings within you that you may not understand all that well at this moment in time (which I admit, could cause confusion within you), but you do know it’s something like this: they desire you. That... for lack of a better word - excites you! It turns you on!

Remember to distinguish between what is exciting you, vs. what it is that this person can actually offer you (and what is actually good for you). :) And base that comparison to what you are looking for in this partner (or a partner in general). Do they match up? And do you maybe just need to take it a little slow with them instead?

It will help you achieve long term success with someone. Not just a moment of passion. (Unless that’s what you were gunning for lol - I don’t judge - I just don’t recommend it if you’re the I WANT A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/LONG TERM PARTNERSHIP type, because you’re just gonna hurt yourself again, even if you happen to be the fuckboi reading this - and yes, I mean to use that as in all inclusive term).

Have your priorities straight: what is this person bringing to the table. Do you want it? Would you like to go through with it? If it’s something you’ve done before, would you like to do it again? Is it a one time thing? Can you handle it? Is it going to satisfy you in the end?

I feel like this pile is a variety bag hahaha, you have to pull from the bag of paper clippings and see what fortune you get. Maybe a lot of people chose this... Just know it doesn’t indicate something bad. It just means that you need to tone it down, whatever you are currently doing within your partnership. It’s driving somebody mad hahahahaha (that could be a good or a bad thing - you get to decide in the end).

You may just be someone who’s very different, and they don’t know how to handle it. They don’t know how to handle you. “One minute you’re this way, one minute you’re that...” Well damn, catch up then lol. Anyway!

You’ll have to decide how much longer you want to play this game, because in the end, it really is one or the other without some moderation to it.

Are you friends? Are you partners? Is she your girlfriend/boyfriend? Is it just sex? None of those answers are wrong, because I am not here to shame.

That’s it. :) Have your priorities straight! In the end, it’s all about you baby, and what you want from it (what you stand to gain). 🌹

#3. Two of Swords - Inviting. The Magic of the Black Chicken. Empathy and understanding are born of promising the right things and then keeping one’s own promises.

I think right now you may have to evaluate how much you are willing to give to a person you are dealing with. You can only truly fulfill someone’s wishes, if they are... kind of like your own.

When we care about someone, we care because we understand what kind of love we wish to receive in that moment (say we are down, or we want to celebrate an achievement, etc)... so we are able to pay it forward, and then receive it in turn, because we’ve received this love in the past (it’s a form of reciprocity that knows compassion, compromise, understanding and forgiveness with one another).

In love it’s much the same: we give what we can take (or even what we’ve learned to take). If you want to make a promise to someone, or make a commitment to them, make sure this is something you can and want to follow through with. Otherwise, you will be disingenuous, and that can truthfully hurt the person you claim to care for so much in this moment.

Hold back. Think about what you are making promises with, and to whom. If it’s fair, and you are balanced - then this person just expects you to remain that way.

Honest, sincere, helpful, and kind. Be that way. It’s who you are, no matter what stage of the relationship you are in.

That said: if someone has recently promised you something, like say a commitment, you expect them to follow through with it.

Even if it’s something like them saying they’re going to marry you, “boo you up,” lol... You expect this. See them follow through with it. Hold them to it.

“Promising the right things” is also a deeper statement: you can’t just promise whatever thing to this person. There is something they care about, very clearly, and you need to know what that is. And vice-versa. This person can’t just promise you any little thing. They need to follow through with something that is actually important to you, something that matters to you. They can’t just make the statement that they will.

If you value marriage - then it’s marriage that they need to be able to offer you. If it’s little random dates - then it is that. If it’s a promise ring - then it’s a promise ring. If it’s staying with you through thick and thin (say hardship in general) - then is that, and they can’t just flake when things get hard. That’s when it most is important to you.

You also need to learn this about your partner. What is important to them? Have you made a promise recently? Keep it. Keep it if you care.

#love reading #tarot #pick a card #love & romance #these are my messages :B

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sunkissedmonbebe · 4 years

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BE MINE - CHANGKYUN ANGST FLUFF

A/N @iccelle thank you for being the first request on my blog! I really hope you like this. Also I am crap at naming things. Please don’t judge but embrace the crappy titles for now hahaha.

TW: Mentions Alcohol use.

She was my bestie….the one I could always rely on. My secrets she kept treasured, my childishness she loved and she accepted me for what I was. She was among those who knew my emotional side. We never compromised our friendship with any other thing. I had grown very strong feelings for her which I could never pinpoint when they converted into love but I was determined for her not to find out!in fear that I would lose her forever.

We often exchanged ‘I love you’ which never was meant to cross the boundaries of our friendship. She never made me feel uncomfortable or insecure. I used to say, “Nothing will ever break our bond of friendship y/n. I will be by your side forever”. At the time I meant each word I spoke. She would nod and smile that smile that made the world seem brighter. I love seeing her happy.

Our lives got busy with our careers, new friends, new priorities but nothing affected our friendship. We always took out some time for each other from our hectic schedules. Planning out small friend dates around the city. My group members would often tease saying I should just tell her how I feel but I know her well enough to know that timing is everything.

It was the day of our date but the air was off. There was something different about her and after prodding her for answer she finally tells me about her friend ‘Joon’. She told me how sweet he was and how nice she felt in his company. They met while she had been working as the stylist for a photoshoot he was doing with his group.

Soon all she talked about was Joon and this Joon that. It made me sick to know the girl I love was falling for someone else. Then just a few weeks later he had told her that he needed to focus on his career and that he still wants to be friends.

The light was gone from her eyes and she left our date early that night. I could see why he walked away she had an energy that drew you in. If you weren’t careful you could get lost in her but it was worth it.

“ Now’s your chance to finally tell her how you feel”. Jooheon said before downing the liquid in his shot glass. You had to work late on a project for a client which freed my Friday night up. All of the members and I were gathered in the living room having drinks when the topic of you came up yet again no matter how many times I tried to change the subject.

“It not that easy. What if I ruin our friendship just by telling her and she doesn’t feel the same”? I pose the question for the room. Waiting them to answer. The door bell rings before anyone could answer. Checking the security camera we see it’s you and my heart pounds in my chest as I open to let you in.

You walk in greeting everyone with that smile while making your way to the kitchen to set down the food and beer you brought. “ Not that I’m not happy to see you Y/N but what are you doing here”? I asked surely the confusion was evident on my face.

“My client rescheduled so I thought I would surprise my bestie since I had to flake on our night”. She said as she pops the top to a beer handing it to me before grabbing one for herself.

I was frozen staring at the woman in front of me trying to find the courage to tell her how I felt. Setting her beer down on the counter she walks towards me smiling. “ Earth to Kyun.” She said waving her hand in front of my face.

My body just reacted on impulse and before I knew it my hands were around her waist and my lips were passionately conveying all the feelings that I could never say out loud gaining confidence once I felt her kiss me back.

Pulling back I rest my forehead against hers staring deep into her eyes. “I am so fucking in love with y/n. I can’t go another day being just your best friend changkyun. I want all off you from this moment on.” I confessed pausing to let my words sink in before I spoke again “ will you be my girlfriend baby?”.

Closing her eyes she takes a deep breath before she looks at me again. Her expression is unreadable and it’s causing anxiety to form in my chest. I just fucked everything up and lost my best friend. I scrambled to apologize when she stops me. A smirk gracing her beautiful full lips.

“ it’s about time dummy of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” She said grabbing my collar bringing my lips back to hers.

She was my bestie but now she is mine.

#monsta x x reader #monsta x scenarios #monsta x fluff #monsta x imagines #monsta x x poc #monsta x angst #changkyun x reader #changkyun fluff #changkyun angst #monsta x au #monsta x changkyun fluff #monsta x changkyun angst #monsta x drabble #changkyun au

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l4arns · 4 years

Text

METANOIA

metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of love

— Can someone you've just met change the way you've been? Just like how her words changed his perspective, not completely, but there's progress. Change that will be for the better of him. Change that might bring him more happiness.

“Is it really necessary for me to date someone? Everyone I know asks me why I don't have a girlfriend. Argh, love is just a pain in the ass,” Jae was slightly pulling his hair, seemingly frustrated and obviously needed someone to talk to. Well, he did find someone, just someone he didn't know. After a long day, Jae wanted to let out his thoughts that have been stressing him out. The next thing he knew, he was at a park, talking to himself. Letting all his frustration out, and unexpectedly, someone answered him.

“That's one hell of a problem you got there, buddy,” she added, “you sound like you got some pretty bad experiences,” Jae was startled at first, but he calmly said, “Not really, I've never dated anyone,” she replied, “Mhm, okay. Just assumed 'cause you were so confident to say that love is a pain in the ass,” she snickered. “Is it not? How about you? What is love in your perspective?” Jae took a sip of his coffee before diverting his attention to the girl right next to him. “Love? I think love varies depending on the person. Like you said, love is a pain in the ass, but it's not always that way. If you find the right person, love can be a reason to continue on with life.” Jae noticed how passionate she seems about love, and it gave him a feeling that he can't seem to explain. “Sounds cliché, but that's kinda deep,” the girl laughed then stared at the beautiful view in front of them. “It's pretty, isn't it?” Jae said to which the girl agreed.

“Oh, can I ask why you think that way about love? There's probably a reason why you seem to dislike dating,” it took him quite a while before he answered, “Love just seems so... emotionally draining. I didn't feel this way before but after growing up and meeting lots of people, I just noticed that their experiences in love seemed so tiring. I don't wanna be like that. I guess that's why dating was never my priority nor an option,” he looked over to his side where the girl was. She noticed that he seemed to be waiting for a reaction so she said, “That's a kinda cognitively biased opinion,” Jae remained silent as a sign for her to continue. “Availability heuristic. You put more importance on the information that's available to you. You think that love is emotionally draining because you've met people that had tiring experiences. But have you ever thought of the other people that have good relationships?” she took a break and sighed, as if she was recalling a memory.

“You're right, I guess. But it doesn't really change the fact that I'm not interested in relationships,” he took a last sip of his coffee before throwing it into a nearby garbage bin. “It's okay. I just wanted to say my part. It's not really necessary to take my words seriously. Besides, we've just met,” but Jae disagreed, “No. Even though we've just met, I'd take your words seriously. Though I'm still not interested in anything that has to do with love, what you said just now makes me think, that maybe love isn't always that bad,” the girl flashed him a light smile and muttered under her breath, “I guess you're not that bad after all,” of course, Jae didn't hear it. “What was that?” she simply responded with a grin, “Nothing.”

Though Jae was curious, he just shrugged it off. “Damn, it actually feels great to talk to someone like this, even if we don't know each other personally, I felt comfortable talking to you. Thank you,” he genuinely thanked her and focused on the lovely sunset that they were witnessing. “Maybe that's the reason why you feel comfortable? We know nothing about each other's actual lives so it's somewhat relaxing to talk because there's no personal feelings between us,” she added, “whatever, I don't even know if I got my point across. And I talk at great lengths haha, sorry,” Jae laughed at her statement, not that anything's funny, it's because that's exactly what he was thinking, she's a great talker. “It's okay. And I talk a lot too so we're not really that different.”

They laughed together and had a few more conversations, until Jae glanced at his watch, the girl next to him was also aware of the time, “It's getting pretty late, I guess this is where we say goodbye,” there was a hint of sadness in her voice, but Jae didn't notice. “Yeah, it was nice talking to you,” just before they parted ways, Jae said, “Come to think of it, we should at least know our names shouldn't we?” he then reached out his hand, “The name's Jae. You?” she gladly shook his hand and said, “It's Ely.”

And just like that, they went on with their separate ways. But before they could get far, Ely shouted, “Jae! Don't avoid love. When it's there, take the chance. You'll never know if it'll go well or not if you don't give it a try,” Jae gave her a smile and said, “I will!”

Their story ends there. Or does it?

(i have tons of stuff i wrote that i don't post here hahaha, this is one of my personal faves)

#day6 #day6 jae #oneshot #writing #love #relationship #relationships #short story #scenarios

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ohtheseboysilove · 5 years

Text

Ghost from the past VII [Roger Taylor x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 300 K +

Warnings : language, angsty angst

Summary : Reader and Roger are in love and happy. Until Ally, first love and ex-girlfriend of Roger come back after years of silence, bringing chaos in their perfect life.

Note : hahaha beginning of the end...or not ? Still not sure, together or not together ? Don’t know yet but the finish line of this story is really close ! I still adore reading your fantastic messages and comments, so please don’t stop, you’re the best lovies xx (please don’t hate me for this chapter haha ily guys)

🌼Requests are open 🌼 ☀ Masterlist ☀

@/ none of these gifs are mine xx

The two following weeks were tense. And sad. Seth still refusing to see his father and Roger was completely devastated. Both of you didn’t understand why suddenly the little boy was so angry about the situation, he did complain in the past but never at the point of ignoring his dad. It was five years old, after all, you couldn’t always understand how their little brains works. The drummer was an empty shell, trying his best to gain back the attention of his son but, sadly, he was as stubborn as his father.

“Baby, I made breakfast. You want some?” You asked sweetly as he entered the kitchen, an empty cup of tea in his hand.

“I’m alright, thank you darling” He sounded off all the time, like he wasn’t really here. You knew his mind was thinking about a solution to see Seth, Ally was refusing him any visit, claiming that the little boy didn’t want to see him. It was true, Brian paid them a visit to be sure she wasn’t making things worse but Seth was still angry toward his father. He was only five years old but he already understood that Roger was the reason of his mum’ sadness. “Oh and I cancel our trip to Vegas...I’m not in the mood to partying, I hope your understand my love” The blond gave you an apologetic smile, kissing lightly your hairs.

Before you could replied he was already gone. Probably to Ally’s place, desperate to talk to is little boy. You felt exhausted, the situation was awful and, a part of it was your fault, not directly but still. Your presence was complicating things for Roger and Ally, the thought of leaving was more and more present in your mind, heavier at every tears on the drummer’s face.

It wasn’t only Seth, even if he was a big part of this painful idea but it several little things that made you think it was maybe for the best. The fact that Ally would never stop trying to have Roger back ; Also that Freddie, bandmate and best friend of the blond was definitely on her side ; Roger’s pain to miss the daily life of his son ; His past with Ally, always in the back of your mind ; The number of people who thought their were together whenever there are with Seth ; The gossip magazines which were dragging you in the mud, calling you awful name for breaking a family ;

There were so many warnings, you avoided them all but after six months of this situation, you were tired. Maybe it was really time for you to go after all. You picked the phone and called the man who, you know, would be totally honest with you about this thought of leaving.

“Hey Fred, it’s (Y/N)...do you think we could talk face to face someday ?”

***********************************************************************************

Freddie organised a dinner at his place two days later and invited everyone, giving a chance to Roger to see his son and maybe fix the problem. You didn’t say anything to the drummer for now, you weren’t sure of what you will do, he didn’t notice your sadness, drowning in his own. You supported him the best you could and he told you how grateful he was for that but you couldn’t stand him so sorrowful, it wasn’t a healthy situation. Seth barely spoke two words to his dad, adding weight in your decision to take a break with the drummer, maybe not a total break up but some time to think about what was the best for the future.

At the end of the dinner as everyone was saying goodbye, Freddie asked to talk to you.

"I don’t think it’s a good idea Fred" Roger immediately stepped in front of you, in a protective gesture. "You said enough last time” You stayed quiet, half hide by the drummer’s frame, relived that he took your defence but also guilty to talk about leaving him behind his back.

Freddie sighed awkwardly and scratched his neck.

"Listen, I just want to apologise to your lady. Can I spoke to her or you’re gonna bit me if I come too close ?"

Roger raised an eyebrow, the singer wasn’t the type to apologise so he was rather surprised. The blond looked at you interrogatively and you squeezed his arm, a reassuring smile on your face.

"I will wait for you in the living-room” He pressed a kiss on your forehead and threw a last warning glare to Fred before waving a last goodbye to the others who were leaving.

Freddie and you walked in his giant but beautiful garden and he sat on one of the bench, gesturing you to do the same, Paul stood behind him, his hand on his shoulder. The singer turned and asked him to leave which he did, reluctantly.

"First of all, (Y/N), I’m really sorry for my behaviour since Ally came back, I had been completely awful to you and I dearly regretted it" You nodded slowly, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I think I own you an explanation for my mean words to you with Ally around"

“I think I already know the answer Fred. You want them back together” You murmured with sadness, it was never pleasant to feel not wanted. “I got it, she was...is your best friend and she still in love with Roger, I know that”

"It’s not against you, I swear” Freddie put his hand on top of yours. “I can’t...I can’t picture Roger with someone else than Ally. I did it when she left and you arrived but...but now she is back with Seth, I just think it’s gonna happen anyway”

"I think you’re right. I feel like I don’t belong in this group since she is back, or with Roger. I feel like I’m just in their way, ya know ?" He shifted uncomfortably in his seat but nodded sadly. “I think I should take a break with Roger. Maybe giving him the opportunity to see if he could...go back with Ally and Seth. I owned him that after all he did for me, I just want him to be happy. What do you think Fred ?” You asked with a weak voice, you were terrified of his answer.

Freddie moved his hand away and rubbed his eyes before lighting a cigarette.

"I think it’s the right thing to do”

He could have punched you right in the stomach it wouldn’t have hurt as much as his words just did.

"Ye–yeah ?" You blinked furiously as you felt your eyes watering.

"You asked me to be totally honest, I’m being honest” He took a quick puff, shaking his head. "I’m putting my friendship with Ally completely aside alright ? I speak as Roger’s friend and yours, even if I didn’t act like a friend these past months. But for your sake and them...a break could help all of you to see in this mess”

Your bit your trembling lower lips to prevent any tears to spill as your stomach was twisted painfully.

"I love him so much Freddie" You replied with a shaky voice. "But I feel like I’m not enough anymore" He stayed silent, his eyes filled with guilt, he was causing you pain and it hurt him too.

"I know you do, you wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. Talk to me (Y/N), it’s not my decision, it’s your, I can only you give you my feeling about it” You chocked a pathetic sob as he replied to you, sadness covering his face.

"I...I’m just exhausted to feel like I have to fight for him, for our future, all the time" You replied, your voice cracking under the mix of emotion rolling through your system. “It’s not his fault, I know he love me but there so many things which went wrong since Ally came back, I don’t know if I can handle all of this during years, Fred”

"Darling, you situation is...fucking shitty. I can’t imagine how hard it had been for you, I should had talk to you rather than be a little bitch” A noise between a sob and a laugh fell from your lips as you shook your head, sharing a glance with Freddie, both of you smiling sadly. “Roger love you, I know he does, it’s obvious. This is so unfair, I...I love you okay ? I’m not trying to be mean but he could...eventually live without you, he couldn’t do that with Seth, it’s his son, he is his priority. And I do think that...even if he said he don’t love Ally anymore, they could go back together for Seth and be a happy family”

He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, he wasn’t insensitive to your state but he was sure to do the right thing.

You couldn’t contain your watering eyes anymore, streams of salty tears soaking your burning cheeks. After Ally, now there was Freddie who was also convinced that Roger will go back to her eventually. You felt completely helpless, seeing your future with the man who, you were sure, was the love of your life slipping through your fingers.

"That what I thought too” You whispered weakly, your gaze staring intensely at your engagement ring like it would disappear at any moment.

"Maybe we’re wrong but for both of you, giving him the chance to see how life would be with Ally and Seth could be a good thing. And I know you can’t build a life with all the doubts you have, it’s not fair for you either”

“You’re right. I will...I will speak to Roger. Explain the situation and then...we will see” You slowly stood up and wiped away your tears and drooling nose. “Thank you for your honesty. I knew John and Brian would just say to stay with him no matter what”

“If he decide to stay with you (Y/N), I will be happy for the both of you, you know ? I regretted my horrible comportment toward you, I don’t know why I acted like this. I think I wanted to scare you away for Ally but it was really stupid, I’m sorry again darling” He opened his arms timidly and you gave him a thigh hug, every inches of your body felt like a tone of brick at the sadness of what became your life.

“It’s alright Fred, we all do mistakes. I’m not rancorous” You smiled through your tears and sighed deeply, just the though of saying Roger in few minutes made you sick.

“And (Y/N)” You turned around and Freddie had a serious face, unusual from him. “You don’t have to be ashamed about how you feel about the situation, most of people would have ran away with all the shit which happened to you. You’re not weak to ask for a break, you’re just human. I know I couldn’t handle a situation like yours, I think you very brave”

A wave of warmth spread around your chest at his words and you smiled softly before leaving without another word. You would tell Roger that you and Freddie had teary apologies, reason for your rather destroyed and broken appearance. It wasn’t even a lie but only half of the truth.

*****************************************************************************************

After you made the decision to take a break with Roger, you decided to tell him at the end of the week. You already had everything plan, you would left during the three months of summer, going in somewhere you always wanted to visit. This absence would give all the time for Roger and Ally to reconnect...or not. And you also deeply needed this time alone. These past months had been so hard and intense for you, it was vital to take some rest away from this chaos that became your life. The fears, the cries, the pain...you wanted to forget all of this and saw how you would experience this break from London and the craziness.

You spent this week literally glued to your fiancé, well the most you can. Every kisses, every caresses, every intimate touches were feeling like they were the last one and maybe it would be.

It was friday night and you were leaving tomorrow, you needed to tell him. Tonight.

“Someone is being very greedy these past days” Roger murmured as you forced him to take his tee-shirt off as soon as he put a step inside your flat, kissing every inch you could reach of him.

“Roger, I need you” He fell on the sofa and grabbed your hips, putting you on his lap as he gently sucked onto your neck a love bite. “Please, baby, want you now” You whined as you fought with his belt, your fingers shaking as you tried to put aside what you were supposed to tell him.

“Alright, needy girl, why are you in a such hurry ? I’m not going anywhere” The drummer captured your lips for a deep and hot kiss, hands flying to your bottom, squeezing it playfully. “Are you going somewhere or what ?” He joked as your hands explored his bare torso, trying to remember how beautiful he looked.

You stopped every movements at his words, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlight.

“What ?” He asked when you didn’t replied to his kiss. “What’s wrong ?” You moved away from his thighs and sat next to him, feeling already overwhelmed with the conversation that would follow.

“Roger, I need to tell you something” The blond frowned at your serious tone and put a hand on your knee, rubbing it gently. “I...I thought about it a lot and I– I think we...we should take a break” You bit harshly your lower lip to calm down your nerves as the drummer looked at you like you were crazy.

“W–what ? What are you talking about ? It’s...it is because I pushed back the wedding ? We can get married tomorrow if you want, I–“ The sadness and panic on his face crushed your heart but you were sure it was the good thing to do.

“It’s not because of our wedding Roger, I just think...I feel like I’m in the way between you and Ally and it’s exhausting. Always wondering if you’re really done with her or not” You murmured before sniffled silently, you couldn’t look at him.

“Baby, I already told you a million time that I love you, fucking hell ! I don’t give a shit about Ally, we’re done !” He grabbed your hands, pressing them with fear. “You can’t just decided to both of us to take a break (Y/N), I won’t let you go, do you hear me ?” His voice was trembling but his eyes were filled with determination.

“Roger listen, I’m not breaking up with you okay ? I...I need time to think about all of it…I need to think if I can bear with a life like the past six months” His big baby blue eyes were shinning with tears as he slowly understood what you meant. “I love you, more than anyone but I can’t marry you if I’m not sure if we have a future or not. Seth don’t speak to you anymore and I feel like it’s my fault, because you’re with me and not with his mum. And maybe if I wasn’t here, you would be with her instead, being a happy family”

You rubbed your eyes, chasing the tears away because if you started crying now you wouldn’t finish this conversation.

“I...I don’t know what you want from me (Y/N), how can I convince you that I will never go back with Ally ?” You glanced at his thumb, as usual it was caressing your beautiful ring. The gesture made your heart sank. “Tell me”

“I’m leaving tomorrow for all summer, I have a flight in the morning” He gasped loudly, the feeling of treason covering his face, guilt was all over yours. “I want you to spend your time with your son and Ally, see if there still something between you two. I don’t want you to marry and then one day you regretted it because you still have feelings for her” You wiped away a tear from Roger’s cheek, it was even harder that you though. “I’m not saying we are over, okay ? I think it’s the best if both of us take some time apart, deciding what we want to do with the situation. I would be sad if you choose to go back with Ally but I won’t be mad, I want to give us a chance to be completely sure”

“I don’t need time away from you (Y/N), I know I want you, please don’t do that” He murmured with a broken voice and couldn’t contain the tears to roll on your face.

“You’re saying that because we’re always together, maybe deep inside you, feelings for Ally are still there and I don’t…I can’t continue to live with this fear, I’m so afraid that in the end, you would go with Ally and Seth and I will be all alone...” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and you let your head fell on his chest, soaking his bare chest. “I need a break from all this pain Roger”

“I didn’t know you were feeling like that baby, I’m sorry” He croaked, his own body shaking with silent cries. “Do whatever you need to feel better, okay ? If...if you want me to give another try with Ally to be sure of my feelings, I will do it for you”

“Promise you will to do it for real ? Not just pretend. Use this time with Ally and Seth, as a family and if something with Ally happen, at least I would have my answer” You murmured with a weak voice as he nodded slowly, wiping his red nose. “I want you to forget about me during these three months and only focused on what make you the happier. No phone calls, just pretend I don’t exist”

He closed his eyes momently like if your words were painfully hitting him.

“If it what’s you want (Y/N)” He picked up his clothes and slowly stood up, sliding his tee-shirt over his head. “I’m sorry for these past months, how hard it had been for you but I hope our love would be enough to make you come back home” He cupped your wet and burning cheeks, pressing a painfully sad kiss on your lips, tasting salty tears and goodbye. “I love you”

“I love you too Roger” You replied in a whisper, he grabbed his keys and jacket before disappearing behind the door, the silent of the flat echoing through your ears.

You wiped your face with your top and took a deep sigh, even if you felt crushing with sadness and guilt to have caused pain to the drummer, your heart felt a bit lighter. Relieve flooding through your veins, you did it, it was hard and maybe you will regret it if Roger stayed with Ally but at least all your doubts will be gone. Whatever he or you chose to do, it would be for the best.

You made your way to your room and started packing clothes in the big backpack you bought for the occasion. You had decide to not stay in the same place but rather travelled between New Zealand and New Caledonia, two countries you wanted to deeply visit since forever, it was your chance. You will use your saving money and stayed in cheap hotels, improvising when it would be needed. The most important was that you will clear your mind and really think about what you wanted for your future.

With or Without Roger.

**********************************************************************************

tag list : @16wiishes @borhapqueen92 @thewinchesterchronicles @khaleesi2017 @hawaiipeople-blog @witchbloodsworld @broken-pieces @spideyyypeter @vanitysfairr @glowingez @queenmaracasandlove @yourealegendroger @hopefully-aesthetically-pleasing @launopeach @fearless2tobeme @awkwardangelshezza @queen-turtle-boiii @blushingwueen @fandomnerdxox @hahahaitsmagic @a-crowd-of-newsies@capsparrowtara

#roger taylor x reader #ben hardy!roger x reader #queen #bohemian rhapsody #borhap

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thefeckisthis · 4 years

Text

being single and open relationship

hellooo lovely people. hope you are all well, sane and well fed. lately i did not write quite often, been reading a lot and gaming. life is not particularly interesting so there is not much going on.

even tho these are different times people still talk, chat and i’ve seen many guys making statuses how girls are not posting selfies now all the beauty salons are closed, making fun of them. well there are not many of you fuck boys around anymore either eh, hard to make some effort when you can’t ‘’score’’ and disappear? or you’re stuck with your girlfriends so its harder?

leave the girls alone, live your own life and mind your own business. even tho the number of fuck boys has drastically dropped, there are still people who make some effort and talk to other people. i’m not saying this only happened to me in the past few months, people keep asking me this all the time.

so why am i single?

im not super young anymore, im in that age where most of my generation is already married and are having their first or even second kid. not me tho, thank you but i’ll pass.

guys usually ask ‘’how can girl like you be single?’’... may i ask you, what kind of girl is that? i know they usually refer to the thing that im beautiful or good looking (in their words not mine) and i keep wondering what does someones looks have to do with someone being single or in relationship? does that mean everyone who is in relationships is beautiful or if youre beautiful you have to be in a relationship? someone please enlighten me. thank you.

on the other hand, some people think i still love some certain people and haven’t moved on emotionally and things like that and that is so not true. i dont have any ‘leftover’ feelings for anyone and i dont like anyone romantically at the moment (and on daily basis i dont like people in general, thats another story tho haha). someone being single for long time doesnt mean they cant get over someone from their past. i kind of pride myself on getting over people quicker than most people, that doesnt mean i cant develop feelings. i can, im just way more careful with that. also, that doesnt mean i never truly liked them (havent loved anyone in a very long time hahaha) its just i dont tend to dwell on it for long. that person is not in my life anymore, why would i spend more time thinking about them when it wont affect my present?

i close that chapter in my life and just move on. not meaning for it to sound as a sob story or trying to make people feel pity for me, every time i have had started to develop some feelings for someone it backfired. made me develop trust issues and i openly admit it. and every time it backfires at me it makes it slightly worse and worse and leaves scars and honestly makes me regret ever developing any feelings. it all developed in like a defense mechanism making me want to do it again less and less.

as ive said, this is not a sob story and im not looking for people to feel sad about me. that is definitely not the only reason why im single but it is a part of it.

i chose to be single. i love being single. i have grown to love myself so much that i dont require to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled or to feel ‘’whole’’. if you find someone you fall in love with that person should not be your second half because you are one whole on your own, that other person should be a beautiful addition to your life, not someone to fill in the gaps. and if you break up you should still be able to feel complete and happy. dont think i am in celibate or i dont meet people when im single. the amount of people thinking if youre single youre not having sex is ridiculous. like seriously people, it 2020, you dont have to get into relationship just to have sex. to think that in this era of fuckboys, internet dating and all that crap... cmon like

explanation is not my strong side so im sorry if i dont fully explain something. relationships and feelings for me are... good and bad. i like them and i dont like them. to me the concept of traditional relationship is like a cage. i dont have freedom (at least not the way i want) that i want, and all the ‘’obligations’’ (cant remember the term that would better explain it). sure, when you like/love someone you usually talk all the time, tell them what you do, where you go, but as an introvert sometimes i just want to shut the whole world out and be left alone for more than a day if that is how i feel. by nature im curious and love to explore, whether it is myself or the world around me and the traditional relationship ‘’wouldn’t allow’ that, its looked down on. why do you want to try something new if you already, lets put it this way, have someone by your side?

but like yes, surely that person can fulfill me both physically and emotionally, what if someone can add to it in a different way, why would i deny myself of that pleasure?

open relationship is something would be something that would be more of my liking. do i believe it is possible to love one person fully and still want to try something with other person? definitely yes. it would start probably as exclusive until the mutual trust and understanding is achieved then we can add to it. and yes, its adding to what we already have, not replacing, not changing, not cheating - adding. that absolutely doesnt mean that the main partner is not enough, its just expanding the current experience. i was in a serious relationship where i loved the person so much and i did mention the possibility of open relationship and it wasnt accepted well and no judgement, it is not for everyone, we all dont seek for same things.

humans are creatures with needs and i believe that satisfaction can come from different people in different ways and that doesnt diminish the value of primary partner. rather than always feeling caged and limited,‘’scared’’ and suppressing your needs, you get the freedom to explore, to broaden your horizons. open relationship is not same as cheating as long as both partners are aware of the nature of the relationship and mutually agree on that, at the end of the day you always end up with them.

dont get me wrong, im not out there actively looking for relationship, im just living in the moment. those kind of things happen on their own and should not be forced, and now days anything that is not according to some standard norms is looked down on. as well, i am perfectly happy on my own, i chose to be single and im loving it. im the main person for myself, i love myself and i am thriving. absolutely enjoying my life.

i dont feel sad or lonely or of any less value than your average person just because im single, not at all. this also made me selfish in a way, i want all the experiences for myself and my enjoyment and i dont want to limit them to make someone else happy or secure.

there are of course more reasons than these mentioned, if youre curious please do leave a question, dont be afraid! :D (my priorities in life are usually not focused on finding a partner)

if youre not happy on your own and with yourself, how are you happy in relationship? so dont go asking people why are they single and think they are sad because of it and feel sorry for them, people do not have same needs and wants in life like you do. at the end of the day, the person who you should be most mindful of is you, your thoughts and your life. make sure you are happy with yourself because that is the person you have to live with 24/7. and once you are happy with the person you are, then you wont have the need to ‘worry’ about the others,

#love #relationship #open relationship #happy #single #single life

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veiledwriter · 4 years

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Red,

You will never get to read this so I am going to say this now. I saw photos of hands holding onto each other in my dash a minute ago, and you were the first person that crossed my mind. No, I am not inlove with you, okay? But aside from the naughty thoughts I have of you (which you already know), I also sometimes wonder how it would be like to date you. You are not a sweet type of guy and I know that you have other priorities than a clingy girlfriend, but still, I wonder what it would be like to be the one who'll often sit beside you while you're driving. Will you allow me to play Ben and Ben songs even though it's not your jam? Haha.

While writing this now, I can imagine your reaction in case you'll get to read this or if I would one day be shameless enough to tell you these. You will not say anything other than, "Okay lang naman yan." hahaha You won't be bothered by these thoughts, but at the same time, you won't do anything about it. Instead, we will just go on with our friendship. No, we will not pretend that nothing happened. We will surely recognize it without letting it affect our relationship. We are cool like that. Hahaha

Anyway, natatawa ako. It appears like I am confessing to you through this letter, when in fact, I am merely writing down my imagination. Hahahaha

Babush. Hope to see you soon! Haha

#red #letter

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marcellaisnotme · 4 years

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to everyone.

to all the amazing people that light up my 2019, let's continue our journey to 2020. 2019 has been pretty amazing to me than last year and i'm rather excited for what's going to come on 2020. its a bit frightening but at the same time i'm ready to face it.

i'm dedicating each of you who got this page a personal message <3

let me start it with my loving Ren ♡ we met not that long ago but long enough for me to call you a special friend. i love hanging out with you, i love ranting everything to you cause you're a really good listener, advisor and most importantly a really great sidekick. okno. you know what to say to make me feel better and i admire that you can think of so much in a short amount of time. the way you handle everything is very responsible and careful, i look up to you alot. let's be more closer and share more stupid shitposts (RED VELVET PLSSS). i love you!!

Jason ♡ we known each other for a very long time but we always been pretty close to each other, but sometimes we don't talk and we argue that one time. and you went missing too but when you came back i was really excited. you were really funny and entertaining. just what i need, just what i wanted. we have a love hate relationship and we never get tired of each other and buuuu-ing each other everytime. okno. you are special to me and i cant find another jason to replace. thanks for being such a great friend. i love you!!

Juan ♡ my favorite movie partner and cuddle buddy <3 the one that would always tell stupid jokes which myself find it really funny even when it's pretty dumb. the one who never get tired of me punching you in the arm. okno. i wanna spend more time watching movies with you cause i personally hate watching movies cause i'm a book person. but when i watch it with you and hear you explaining to me everything made me love movies. pstt. only when i watch it with you <3 HAHAHA let's do more movie dates next time juan, because movies are not watch worthy without you. okno. i love you!!!

bwi ♡ as much as i find you pretty annoying and such a coward but i really know how it takes courage to do something. i know how does it feel when you feel like doing something. but it's find. i dont judge you for it ok? i was just messing around with you cause your reaction is always funny i dont wanna miss it. OKNO. if you havent moved on completely, it's fine. it takes time to heal and takes time to grow. i hope you have a better life and be happy in 2020. i love you!!

Belle ♡ SINCE YOU'RE A GIRL NOW IMMA CALL YOU BELLE. okno you were a guy when we first met and first dated. okno. i can't believe we made it till today even when we dont talk that much these days. i just want you to know even when i'm very very very annoying and stoopid but i am really thankful that you were always there listening to my probs and teas :(( i'm so dramatic. wipes non existent tears. okno. be less busy so that i can kacau you more :(( i love you!!

Kitty Kou ♡ my wife :(( my husband soulmate boyfriend girlfriend my everything :(( screams i miss you so much we're not talking much this days are you THAT busy gimme attention bich :(( okno. i'm glad that you are fine now (i can see and feel it) also i dont want you to be sad no more cause you dont deserve to be :(( i'll karate anyone that tries to mess with you i swear >:( i love you soooo much you're my fav bestie ever you listen to me and play along with me cause thats what soulmates do :(( dont ever leave my side or i'm gonna tie u to me so that you wont escape HAH take that :(( i love you bb♡

Qhal ♡ you stick up to me since day-1 and thats what i love about you. you grew into a better person, you were so much braver and bolder plus happier these days and i've never been so proud of you. i hope your happiness last till next year and the following and forever. every day is a new day. you dont have to close old books and open new ones. you dont have to be someone you're not and importantly, you dont have to do things for anyone else. yourself is your top priority and always remember that you're just as important. seeing you happy makes me happy. we've been friends for god knows how long and you never left my side, ever. you're always a special friend to me. you're always in my heart. i love you!!

Irwin ♡ not gonna deny you're always there for me when i'm in an existential crisis. okno. you're such a fun and funny person to talk with. i always enjoyed talking to you because you could make and awkward situation lively with your randomness. you radiate great and positive energy that anyone around you feel better. you make me feel better when i'm sad. i hope you and jade last looooooooooong enough just like how long we've known each other. i love you!!

Tian ♡ i love talking to you and randomly being stupid with you and jason. i love how we click with each other that much it's like we're siblings. rough things happened but let's all forget about it. i hope for you happiness as you were always sad about a certain someone. it's fine to think about it. it's fine to hold onto it. cause the longer you hold on, the easier it will go away when it gets old. you should really reveal your cute daughter to everyone. cause i miss her and everyone needs to see her <3 she's amazing just like you. i love you!!

Cosmo ♡ as long as we known each other, you were the brightest person and the easiest to get along with. you always know what to do and put your heart in everything you do. i dont like seeing you being sad or depressed anymore because you weren't like that when we first met. always surround yourself with happy stuff >> me. and do things you wanna do that makes you happy. you will always be my cosmo, and i'll always be your wanda♡. i love you!!

Junguan ♡ hi bestie how u doin. okno. i am glad that you're always happy, always problem free. thanks for listening to my problems, thanks for being a great friend. i have a great laugh and a great time with you always. your reaction to my stupidness and sarcasm was always funny i'm not gonna lie. you're always the one that i believe would keep everything i tell you a secret. you're such an awesome person and a great friend. i love you !!

Xie/ Axel ♡ you're a really interesting person to talk to. aside from our past relationship. you're a really strong and a great person. you're someone that doesn't give up on anything you do and i really adore you for that. you make everything seem so funny to me idk why oKNO. but except for our snapstreak, we dont really talk mUCH. did you moveD or are you just busY cause u krik krik im thinking twice about softblocking you. okno. talk to me bitch. i love you!!

marcell/shaq ♡ you change your name to match mine cause you like me eh?? buuu. okno. you were always someone i trusted because you're responsible of doing your job and you're someone nice to talk to i mean not nice nice because you're mean but nice by i can have a conversation with you and talk about random stuff without letting it die because i'm funny and you're lame okno. let other judge your outer and let yourself know your inner. jangan jadi noob for 2020. okno. i love you!!

Eric ♡ my stupid bun. my ride or die. ew. these two years 18/19 has been pretty rough for the both of us and i think it's just a step and a lesson to grow into a better person. you helped me alot through this year and i'm never less thankful for that. the loving things you do for me, the things you would let it slide when it comes to me. your soft spot for me never goes away huh HAH and i'm taking advantage of that. okno i'm kidding. you are a big help for me and for what i went through. you never said no. you always agree on everything and i really appreciate it. when we broke up last year, you still insisted to talk to me. which i find out really annoying. just kidding. i'll let everything slide since you do that to me too. you're a really great person, amazing let me tell you. thanks for being a great friend to me. thanks for helping me out with almost everything. i owe you big time. i love you!!

harry ♡ first of all, thank you for being a great bestie, we would always talk to each other everyday but you got busy these days :(( but yey, its almost a decade since ive known you, kyak. we met when we were in kbb. you were d__, kyak, smpipol 💕 i feel so giddy giddy all of a sudden lololol. and then we started exchanging contacts, you were first harry, on fl. and then we had this, nOOt squad gTG. im nunmul-ing. why is this suddenly a throwback session. and and and then theres trisha gosh i love trisha and you too. i adore you for being such an honest person, when it comes to telling your problems to us, which is something i cant really do. if you have problems, dont hesitate to tell us, though i dont really help much eheh. but sometimes there are things that arent meant to be said. its okay, theres nothing wrong feeling sad, feeling all those negative feelings. we are human too, we have feelings. it is okay to sometimes not be okay, it is okay. but other than that, be happy with those you are surrounded with. youre someone that worth a big hug. i hope you spent your day with those you love 💕 i hope youre having a good day. youre an amazingly talented person. i hope youd achieve your dream soon, i pray for your health, and for you to surrounded by lovely people. you're such a talented person and gosh, your drawings for the fashion week, cries. chef kisses momma!!! you should update me on your life more because i wanna know what you do and support you on everything you do. don't forget me anyways :(( because you're the only realest annoying brutally honest bitch i love :(( i love you!!

thanks for an amazing 2019, lets get closer in 2020. i love you guys. ♡

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