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sodiumlamp · 5 months

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Picard

We're in the final stretch of the first season, and the gang finally makes it to the mysterious planet Soji recalled from her dreams. I haven't spent a lot of time on plot holes and other inconsistencies, but a pretty good example of my problem with the writing is how they found Soji's homeworld.

The Romulan agent finds out she's capable of dreaming, then gets her to tell him enough about the dreams to figure out that she's dreaming of home, then he gets her to do some sort of Romulan meditation technique where she can interact with the dream while awake, so she can look up at the skylight in her "father's" laboratory, and identify two red moons and constant lightning in the sky.

I mean, it's not a bad way to extract this information. The problem is that not even Soji knew what she knew, so it makes sense that the answers would lie in her subconscious. My gripe is that it's a tad convenient that her originworld would be so distinctive that this simple description would tell you everything you needed to know to find it. What if the planet had no moons, or whatever the usual number is in Star Trek? What if the planet had clear, unremarkable weather? What if the lab had no skylight? Also, why is the dream taken so literally? Soji saw her father working on a life-size wooden doll bearing her own face. That didn't actually happen so why would the two moons and lightning thing be true?

To be fair, we could argue that the dreams were purposely designed to contain information Soji could use to find her way back home, except the whole point was to suppress that kind of information for her mission. The Romulans discovered her dreams and exploited them, which makes it seem like more of a bug than a feature. But this all happened in Episode 6, and I'm here to complain about Episode 9.

So, the gang arrives at Soji's home planet, Coppelius, and while there's two moons, the weather seems quite ordinary and Earthlike. The Memory Alpha article even points out this contradiction, almost like they're making a joke, but maybe I'm imagining things.

"While Soji Asha was undergoing the Zhal Makh, she had a vision that this planet had electrical storms as part of its weather patterns, though the natural environment was quite sunny, with a hot desert-like environment."

I mean, everyone located the planet based on the details of her vision, but the vision itself was bullshit. Why wouldn't you just put some lighting storms on the planet? We know they can do that effect because they already did it when they produced the scenes of her dream. Just do it again.

When they arrive, all the other androids welcome her back and their leader is Noonien Soong's son. Not an android, like, his biological son. He's a cyberneticist too, so when the ban on synths went down 14 years ago he and Bruce Maddox ran off to Coppelius to make a bunch of androids. Then Bruce made Soji and Dahj and they went off on a mission to......

What the hell was their mission? I think Dahj and Soji were meant to infiltrate the Daystrom Institute and the Borg Reclamation Project respectively, but to what end? And Maddox was up to something on Freecloud, except his lab got destroyed and Jurati killed him before we could find out what he was up to. I think the idea here is that the Coppelius androids would have been better off if Maddox had stayed put, but I can't tell. Instead Maddox and Dahj are dead and Soji has returned to tell them that a Romulan armada is following her to destroy them all.

The crux of the episode is when everyone compares notes and the Coppelians learn about the "warning" the Romulans discovered that convinced them androids will ruin everything. They soon determine that the "warning" was misinterpreted, as it may have been intended for synthetic minds to comprehend. They perceive the message as a promise, one left behind by fellow synthetics, who claim that organic life forms will inevitably create, envy, and betray synthetic life forms. The message contains instructions to contact the ancient synthetics, who will come to rescue any synthetics who are being persecuted. Also, they might just wipe out the persecutors.

So the androids (and Soong) are like, cool, let's just call those god-machines and let them take care of business, but Picard tries to convince them to evacuate in his ship instead. He makes a bunch of pie-in-the-sky promises about Federation protection and getting the synth ban overturned, but Soong calls bullshit because no one listened to Picard before, and no one listens to him now.

So this could be a decent payoff on the whole "warning" business. The Romulans have been worried about it this whole time, but I was afraid we'd never get a clear answer on whether their fears were justified. Now Coppelius has the means to actually summon the horror that the Romulans were afraid of, so at least we'll find out if it's a real thing or not. My guess is that they'll make the call and no one will answer, or at least the answer they get will be much less awesome and terrible than anyone feared/hoped. It's the only way to defuse this, unless a Star Trek show seriously intends to call down God to settle things.

Don't get me wrong, this show still sucks. They spent most of this episode just sort of reacting to Soji's people, Soong, etc. Jurati makes a lot of funny faces and that Romulan guy kills an android by ripping her eye out, so this show still maintains its throughline of dumbassery and violence. The cliffhanger here is that Picard is placed under house arrest, so he won't be able to stop the Coppellians from summoning the machine-gods and he won't be able to evacuate them before the Romulan armada arrives. But that's stupid. The Coppelians took that Romulan guy prisoner and he immediately escaped. Yet we're meant to believe they can hold Picard against his will for more than ten minutes? It's just sloppy and dumb, and it takes way too long to get there.

For instance, there's a scene where the ship loses power on its way down to the planet, and it's dark inside, and then Rios uses his lighter to see what's happening. But he can't just do that, it takes several tries to get a flame, so we have to put up with several cuts to different characters with each flash of the lighter. And for what? This isn't a big dramatic moment. The ship's inoperative and there's nothing they can do about. But they waste a bunch of time like they're building up to something, as if Jason Voorhees is gonna appear behind them in the dark. The whole series is like that. It really sucks.

Now you might wonder why I'm still watching this crap. The show is really, really bad, and I don't think it's worth the trouble, so why bother sitting through the whole thing? What's the point? Well, take a look at this shot of Bruce Maddox's room on Coppellius.

Like Jurati's desk in Episode 1, it's got a lot of labware, but they actually took the time to get some decent looking props instead of just slapping some present-day beakers and flasks. Maddox has the same blue and red liquid in unfamiliar containers that Dr. Crusher had in TNG. There's some other stuff too, which looks vaguely familiar but not easily identifiable. Someone actually went to the trouble to make some convincing props here. They probably looked up photos of real lab equipment and designed things that would look just similar enough to look appropriate, but strange enough to be unrecognizable. I have no idea what this stuff could be used for, but it still looks like a workspace. Like I could see a person sitting at this desk and doing things with this stuff.

And that's growth right there. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't redeem the gripe I had with the Daystrom Institute set from Episode 1. This set only proves my point. They knew what to do and how to do it right, but they just chose not to do that until later in the show.

Still, it's encouraging to see a mistake corrected, even in a sloppy shop like Star Trek: Picard. I had to dig pretty deep for this moment, but it's worth it. Sometimes bad shows are worth watching just for these kinds of experiences.

#mike watches picard #sheer fucking hubris #plot twist: jurati killed maddox because she was jealous of his sweet lab #wait that actually makes sense #soong offered to let her work in his facility #she might as well use maddox's lab since there's a vacancy #oh my gosh agnes you murdering murderer #this absolutely sucks ass jurati's just mirror universed her way into a promotion and no one even seems to mind

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mutiara-05 · 9 months

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I really hate watching the time passing me by and I also hate having to witness all my years fly so I hold my pen and sit down, it's time to write time for me to sort whats wrong and what's right but my life has been so fucking dull lately now so Ima tell you about my past and Ima keep it raw ok so back to the year of two thousands and five the mid of that year where I almost didn't survive was still in the womb and they announced me dead they scheduled curettage but "no" grandma said did a second check up and surprise I haven't died I was just chilling in there, was laying on my side now skip to mid august to my time to finally come I took about two days being a nightmare to mom well it's no surprise since she didn't want me at all but wanting a son he went and pinned her to a wall a disappointment since first breath by being a female my pink clothes highlighted the devil's clear fail the doctor who brought me said "she's a miracle" AB negative blood type yet she's alive.. untypical was hours old laying down when a nurse barged in yelling "a bomb was located, leave avoid your fin" the first four years of my life passed by really fast almost died a couple of times but that's the past got a bunch of allergies and one can easily kill me reason of death: a little peanut she couldn't see was five years old and already having trust issues but that's nothing because at six starts the abuse I've always wanted him to go a little bit further To stab him I needed an excuse since he's my father required straight A's while studying three languages school was an hour away and filled by dumb bitches made fun of and pushed around but I stood still all alone cause mama was busy to notice how I'm ill started writing at 6 as a joke but picked it at 10 for real I was alone and scarred I needed something to heal a couple failed tries then I wrote something so cool rushed to her feeling proud but she made me a fool I didn't hold a pen for full three years after that and I lost my spark while losing all the extra fat on sixth grade I failed to write an essay, no surprise costed me but I fixed it following my own advice high school started and was nothing like the movies from a teenage dream to a hell where you pay fees only one year then everything went down hill for me no hope, no dreams, not knowing who I should be fourteen was when I tried to take my life away but failed so I guess god really wanted me to stay now became dead inside using a fake smile to hide then knew an artist who took me to hope on a ride felt understood having a hero who knows my pain kept going by thinking about him under the rain by using his voice I crossed a phobia off of my list While aware he doesn't even know that I exist was struggling still but his smile helped me endure 2020 he left to cure his old left shoulder injure I remember so clear how I cried scared for him but he came back saving my life from being dim now 2021 oppression logged in after my hair cut overwhelmed I held a blue something ready to cut really wanting to see some red while killing myself but blacked out then woke under my books shelf I survived again so I had to create a second face living two lives and switching was the daily race but it's fine I was pretty chill, wanna know why? was waiting to be 17 believing that's when I'd die nineteenth august of two thousands twenty two at a restaurant waiting for two "friends" I knew many things went wrong that day but I didn't mind party's over, had a fight at home he won't be kind took a deep breath and calmly laid on my bed slept with a smile was sure by morning I'll be dead but "it's nine o'clock am" announced by my alarm I woke up at morning safe and sound with no harm my heart sank in why the fuck am I still here? I'm still alive I haven't died that's my biggest fear

Dressed up kinda overshowing to cover my state a couple males tried to hit, I lied: I'm not straight but "boys don't bite" oh yes I assure you they do I ain't letting my guard down, y'all stay safe tho went out with no permission to watch the world cup cool day but the loud sudden cheers fucked it up like sorry dudes I ruined such an important match you enjoy hearing cheers but I see a bloody patch skip that now its exams time I'm expected an A plus but I've been quite and over sleeping ain't it sus Results came back terrible, it ain't no surprise "How sad" "how unexpected" are my little lies let that too pass since it's now my birth month they took my light away and now I'm lost in a labyrinth decided I won't be celebrating nothing this year because I can't enjoy anything if he's not here I'm slipping back to a shadow that's blue and grey I'm slowly digging the dark grave where Ima lay but I don't care if my knees are buried in mud or even if I'm out there drowning in my own blood you can always start a battle and turn it to a war then put me in it with no gun no sword nor armour I can face the snipers alone and slay them all standing over cold bodies, you know I never fall I really don't need nobody, I don't wanna be saved save your pity, sweetness wasn't something I craved was once just a little girl who needed a warm hug but now a tomboy as cold as my iced coffee mug today I finally accepted that I am the villain here so fuck all of the promises I've made, am I clear? I ain't staying and I ain't trying, we won't go out won't write for nobody won't live in the same route I do have a list for the promises so I didn't forget but when I go extra for people I end with regret she was innocent one day but they hurt her a lot I built her a castle with high walls, for her I fought all she ever wanted was someone to read her a story now she write those and overuse the word sorry Dear lord I'm sorry for not being the best believer sorry that I only pray when I get a strong fever I'm sorry to my cousin, I cant keep being your idol I'm sorry grandma when you were alive I didn't call and I'm so sorry grandpa if I was ever too cold sorry aunt I stopped loving you when I got old sorry to my uncle who died the month I was born I blame myself for it every day and I'm still torn sorry to my "friends" I never loved you enough so sorry to the boy I turned down, I was rough sorry to the sun and the star that I did wrong you'll both keep shining in the lines of my song sorry to mama that I'm not the perfect daughter and sorry but I hate you so fucking much father to six thousands five hundred and seventy four days of me existing while being dead to my core

#writing #female writers #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #feeling #original poem #passion #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw ed diet #vent #life story #18 years old #tw mental illness #tw sui ideation #long poem #long poetry

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nancywheeeler · 1 year

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📔📖📕?

three fandoms for the price of one!

(more) Ted Lasso:

okay, so one of my all-time favorite 90s movies is The Fully Monty and i think it would be such a fun AU for TL. the movie's themes overlap with a lot of what Ted Lasso's got going on (mental health, insecurity, father/son relationship, and how everything is wrapped up in men's relationship to their masculinity) and some of things Ted Lasso hasn't really addressed (yet) like class and sexuality. Plus stripper Ted! and the rest of our Diamond Dogs fit really well with the other characters (Beard as the best friend, Nate as the younger, insecure guy they help with his self-esteem, Higgins as the one who teaches them how to dance, Roy as the grump who is surprisingly good at dancing (definitely thanks to the yoga moms), throw Jamie in there as the hot guy lol). i could also see it as either Rebecca/Ted (she owns the club where the guys want to put on their strip show) or Trent/Ted (trent discovering what the guys are up to and sticking around to write an article about how the state of immigration affairs is so bad this poor man is putting on a strip show to get money to stay with his son; in this AU, i imagine michelle has a job in the UK). who knows if i'll ever write it but i'm thinking thoughts!

Stranger Things:

i'm going to keep the plot i've tentatively started drafting under wraps for now, but i have sent so many ST fic ideas to the graveyard over the years (rip the Will-centric ready player one AU, my beloved). a recent one that will haunt me for a while is a Station Eleven-inspired post-canon where our gang technically won the war against Vecna / the Upside Down, but it has inadvertently caused the apocalypse. while the rest of our gang has scattered across the country, trying to pick up the pieces of the world, Steve is one of the last holdouts in Hawkins. Meanwhile, Eddie has been traveling around as a wayfaring musician. idk it would be a little western-inspired because i've always loved western aesthetics in the apocalypse (stranger stumbling into town! nature running wild again! outlaws abound!). who knows what the plot would be other than finding a sense of home again. but i love that Station Eleven idea of art surviving the apocalypse and how it fosters community and i don't know!! maybe one day i'll figure out what this rambling would be about.

Dead Poets Society:

to anyone who ever subscribed to me / followed me for DPS, i am so so sorry. i wanna get back on the horse! i'm not sure if this is the plot i'll go for when i do (i once promised a Charlie POV of my good grief series and i do have some scenes of that drafted), but i have been toying with a While You Were Sleeping AU.......just thinking about Neil Perry being "in love" with Jeffrey Anderson who he has never actually spoken to. Accident happens, Jeff's in a coma, his friends and family think Neil is his fiancee, chaos ensues as Neil starts falling for Jeff's brother, Todd instead. This or my 80s The Sure Thing road trip from hell AU.......they compel me!

(Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.)

#ask #thanks casey!!!

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dailynabu · 4 months

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Boyfriend is a really calm guy. He is slim, tall and the cutest boy to ever exist in this Earth. He always calms me down and whenever things gets harsher, especially with Mother, who's not exactly a good character in Me story.

Today I saw Boyfriend really mad, but not warm rage; that "cold" rage. Context is that Mother said she's gonna sue me because apparently I stole house's keys. The funniest fact is that I didn't even touch those keys: they lost it. I swear to God I haven't touched it.

But I am so tired of this everyday-fight in this place I cannot call 'home'. It's really exhausting. My parents tried to kicked me out three times now and I am dying to move far from them, it is truly and really so exhausting. I am not even sad, I don't feel any type of sadness nor sorrow towards it, I don't hate her, but I am gonna be bluntly honest: sometimes I wish she just went away. Not dead, I don't think it'd be better, but my family would get SO much better without Mother. I also understand it's pretty disfunctional, but everyone here is trying to heal in their own way; she is not. She always makes it worse.

I feel so sorry for Mother, I also understand it's not my fault. She didn't deserve to be in such pain; neither do I. I hope she can heal and be happy before dying, I cannot deal with the fact she'll live like this till she die. She already did it for more than 40 years... Time for her to try happiness and healing.

I know that if she truly regretted her past actions and words and tried to be a better person, I'd forgive her wholeheartly. I don't think I'll ever feel that son/daughter love, but I'd not feel this intense injustice that led me to so much rage during years.

So Sister texted me and, despite me always defending her, she wasn't able to do the same. I tried defending myself again by saying I didn't take any keys. She kept accusing me.

Indeed, she said that what I did was "shit action". Like it was okay for my mom to accuse me of ROBBERY. Like I DID steal the keys. That moment I felt hurt. Not the first time she betrays me. Still, it hurts.

So I said: fuck it. I'm not stressing by trying to prove I did something I did NOT do.

I sent her a voice text, as calm as I could (which is fairly calm, to be honest): "Listen, Sister. You don't even answer my texts anymore, you don't care for anything I send to you. So NOW you're coming at me, accusing me and using the term 'shit', basically saying that I am, in fact, a criminal? Don't come at me with your morality lessons". She listened and didn't reply.

Boyfriend was sleeping and I wasn't in the mood to put him in all of this shit, but he woke up and listened. Asked why, I said I wasn't in the mood to tell him, but I eventually would.

When I was arriving at home, while he was driving me there, I explained calmly. He was calm too, but for the first time I saw his cold rage: he was MAD, but not I-wanna-break-everything, more like: "it's an absurd and it doesn't make sense at all. The only reason why she's getting mad is because it is you and not any of your siblings. I know you didn't take nor lost the keys, you know, she knows; she doesn't care. She wants to make your life a living hell".

I was... Shocked. He never said anything so explicit because he didn't want me to be inflamed, but today he basically... Lost his shit, I guess. "Well... I know...". "And that's why we're studying and working. We're moving together soon, I'm taking you with me and you'll never have to deal with them ever again".

Once I was at home he texted me: "I am so mad, I am sorry, but I am so mad". He is mad. It makes me think that it's because not only he loves and cares for me, but he sees and listens to me. I am not invisible and I'm not unheard. And I am valid and it is okay to feel bad.

Caring is the coolest and kindest thing someone has truly made for me.

I love him and I love his mind and his heart. I hope I can make him the happiest ever.

(About feeling rejected and how I've been unfairly treated all my life, since I was a young kid. About another betrayal of my sister and how it breaks my heart, about how I feel unconditionally loved and cared for my boyfriend and how I want him to be extremely happy, always).

— 16.01.2024

#rant post #personal post #diary entry #my journal #daily journal #journal #diary #dear diary

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thera-daydreams · 3 years

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INDAY

± A Trese Fic ±

[Crispin/Basilio/Maliksi/Dominic x Skymaiden!Reader]

01: Noon at Ngayon (✓)

02: Ang Kambal na Anak ni Datu Talagbusao, Diyos ng Digmaan (Link)

03: Ang Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang (Link)

04: Ang Pinuno ng Mga Aswang (Link)

05: (Link) 06: (Link) 07: (Link)

01: Noon at Ngayon

Back then, long before you were born, your mother used to work as a katulong of the Trese Family and was very close to its matriarch, Miranda Trese. Coming from the province, she was no stranger to superstitions—even more so after knowing the work of Miranda's husband Anton Trese, who was actually the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila.

Years later, after giving birth to you around the same time Miranda gave birth to her twins (one a stillborn, unfortunately), it was you and Alexandra who became best buddies instead, as different your personalities were. You two had practically grown up together and you yourself heard countless stories of the supernatural from your Tito Anton. It wasn't that hard to believe when he and his sigbin companions would sometimes come home tracking blood prints on the floors (which you'd helped your mother clean up). Heck, you'd even met Señor Armanaz, the Great Stallion himself and the ruling tikbalang of the Armanaz herd. That pretty, white-haired diwata seemed extremely fond of you, too, which was evident when you'd sneak in with Alexandra to Tito Anton's meetings and she would smile (even wave) at you happily.

You had absolutely no idea why the fae-like lady was so nice to you, but you weren't complaining at all!

However, in spite of your experiences with the supernatural, you and your mother always believed that you were normal humans. In actuality, that was who you were for the majority of your childhood. It was only until Miranda herself saw a vision of you—a much older you—fighting the monsters of the Underworld alongside her own daughter. During dinnertime, Miranda told your mother that she saw you blessed by the heavens with powers that would aid in the battle against evil.

It sounded absolutely ridiculous, right? Yeah, your mom thought so, too.

Your mother only laughed it off as she placed a steaming bowl of tinola in front of Alexandra's brothers, who instantly dug in like they haven't been fed in years.

"Boys! Dahan-dahan lang," Anton reprimanded his sons. "Or else you'll choke and the soup will come out of your noses!"

"Okay, Papa."

"Grabe ka naman, Miranda. I doubt that anything like that's going to happen to my daughter," your mom chuckled, watching your little hands try to feed Alexandra with a piece of chicken. "Unlike you guys, our lineage isn't anything special. Ordinaryo lang ang lahi namin."

Miranda sighed, looking at you and her only living daughter enjoying your time being kids, "I guess you're right. Baka panaginip lang talaga 'yun."

Anton glanced at her knowingly. Although he was aware that you and your mom didn't dabble in magic or anything like they did, he knew that whenever Miranda—one of the Seven Seers—had such vivid dreams, it was something of great importance. But he decided to say nothing, understanding how much your mother wanted to let you live as normal of a life possible in this household.

That was when you were seven years old. One year later, Miranda died fighting against a group of aswang who decided to betray Anton. Said man found the eight-year-old Alexandra hiding in a corner behind the waterfalls, scared and holding Sinag close to her heaving chest as she tried to hold her tearful sobs in.

Of course, a few days later, you and your mother attended the funeral with the mourning Trese family. All the brothers had done their best to stay strong, especially for their little sister who didn't fully understand yet what just happened. Little you ran towards Alexandra, holding her hand tightly as her mother's casket was lowered. Around you were various comrades, both human and non-human, paying their respects to their bereaved allies.

That day, as you turned your back to return to your mother's arms, you knew you would never forget the feeling of numerous unearthly eyes following your every movement.

Even they could sense that there was something about you, a so-called regular human child. You smelled human and had the aura of one, but there was something they couldn't place. It was like a tiny rock getting into your shoe, not coming out at all.

Much changed after that, but you and Alexandra remained close together. To your dismay, just after you graduated elementary, you and your mother had to move back to the province to stay with your sick grandparents. The last thing you could remember was kneeling in the back of the car, looking sadly through the rear windscreen as Alexandra and her brothers waved goodbye to you.

More than a decade had passed since then. You used to write letters to Alexandra, but after Hank told you she had to undergo the trials of the Puno ng Balete, you haven't heard from her (although Hank did disclose that she'd managed to come home safely, which was a great relief to you). You didn't blame her; you knew Tito Anton had passed away in the five years she was gone and that she had to take over the title of Lakan, as well as the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila. It was a demanding job! You remembered Tito Anton sometimes staying up all night—breakfast would be served and he would still be in his study, going over paperwork. On other days, he would be gone for consecutive nights handling cases all around Manila. You could only pray Alexandra was fine.

Your life had continued on, as well—you took care of your ill grandparents until they died, helped your mother in the province, went to a good highschool, then earned your degree in another prominent city that wasn't Manila.

Your mom actually recommended that you go to school somewhere else, given the constantly rising number of attacks in the capital of the country. And so you did. Life was hard, but normal until then.

The funny thing was that, when you reached the age of twenty-one, you finally understood why those supernatural creatures kept looking at you weirdly as a kid (and why Lady Diwata liked you so much).

What was even funnier was that the dramatic revelation came to you when you weren't in the Philippines. It was after you freshly graduated college, when you were traveling all over Asia to volunteer in charity projects. It was always your dream to one day expand your horizons not only beyond your province, but the Philippines itself, while also doing good in the world.

And here you were, walking that path you dreamt of.

The organization you luckily managed to become a member of provided everything you needed, and every few months, you would move from country to country. Because of that, you'd already been able to travel to so many places. First it was Thailand, then Indonesia, China, South Korea, India, Japan, Sri Lanka, Singapore, Malaysia, and currently, you were in Vietnam. Visiting those places was fun and gave you a whole new perspective of the world you lived in; it was a... learning experience, too.

Still, that incident happened when you were in Thailand, when you were the last one in the rented apartment balcony taping up the boxes for the donation drive tomorrow. Yawning, you cut more duct tape and stuck them to the open boxes tightly.

"Inday," someone said from behind you. You didn't bother turning around, thinking it was one of your fellow volunteers looking for you this late at night. Probably your roommate. She was the only one who usually called you by your nickname instead of your real name.

"Hmm?" you hummed, taping up more boxes. "Papasok na ako sa kwarto, Lyn. I just have a few more boxes to close. Alam mong mapapagalitan ako kung may hindi madidistribute bukas."

"Hindi ako si Lyn."

You paused, then slowly turned around, flinching at the sudden bright light that shone right against your eyes. For a moment, akala mo namatay ka na at hinaharap mo si San Pedro.

It was a glowing figure in white whose face you couldn't clearly see, which frightened you even more.

"Ay, mama!" you exclaimed, shielding your eyes and falling to your knees. Then, you gasped loudly, patting your body and panicking with closed lids. "Oh my God, am I dead? Nasa heaven na po ba ako?" Your lips wobbled. "Ngayon pa nga lang ako nakaalis ng Pilipinas... I haven't even done all the things I've wanted to do! Hindi pa ako nakapagpaalam sa nanay ko—aray!"

You'd felt something hit the back of your head. Hard. It was the glowing figure in white, but now you could see their unimpressed face scowling at you.

"Kalma lang, Inday. Hindi ka pa patay, pero makinig ka nang mabuti," they shushed you urgently (you weren't sure if they were male or female). "Do not be afraid. I am a messenger from the heavens, and I bear great news!"

"Great news...?" you trailed off, then your eyes widened excitedly. "Like, nanalo ba ako ng lotto? Isang milyon? Bilyon? Hala! Wait, is this a Mama Mary moment? I'm not ready to be the next immaculate conception!"

They glared at you, making you shut up instantly. "Sorry, I'll shut up now," you apologized with a mumble. This person (thing?) was kind of... strict. Whatever did you do wrong? You were just sleep-deprived and running on energy drinks (as well as kape).

"I have come to tell you that you are the vessel of the last skymaiden," they revealed, arms wide open. The light around them seemed to grow even brighter, making you squint. You felt like you were about the go blind! "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N L/N."

At ayun, zero brain cells remaining. Tunay na nagloading screen ang brain mo. Nag-error at nagcrash pa nga siguro, eh.

"... Ha? Ano?"

You blinked, completely speechless—as seen by how wide your jaw had dropped open. It wasn't that you were unfamiliar with the biraddali, it was just that you'd only heard of them once when you were just a young child. Your Tita Miranda had mentioned they were long gone from the world of the supernatural.

"Oh no, me? A biraddali? You're joking," you stuttered out, pointing at yourself. "Aren't they extinct or something? And, uh... not human?"

They nodded, "Yes. It is correct that everyone in the mystical world thought that the biraddali were long gone, even before the colonizers came to conquer the native lands. However, before the skymaidens all disappeared, the youngest and most powerful one among the seven sisters sealed her soul away to the rivers of time until the strength of a heavenly being was needed to help purify the evils of the world." The figure floated closer to you. "That last biraddali's soul, along with its corresponding power, traits, and knowledge, had chosen to reside deep within you the moment you were conceived."

Honestly, how were you even supposed to react? Your life was nowhere near ready for something like this. Was this a prank by your friends? Your colleagues? The light around this person seemed too authentic to be fake, though.

You stayed in shock for an entire minute, silent. The being in front of you only waited for a response.

"Ano 'to, Sailor Moon? Winx Club?" you whispered to yourself, before slapping your own cheek and scolding yourself. A stinging red mark was left on your face. "Inday, kakamanhwa mo 'yan! Nasosobraan ka na ata, matulog ka na!"

Sighing heavily, you rubbed your face tiredly, still in disbelief that you—according to this stranger—were apparently some old soul from a species of ethereal beings that were long gone. It sounded like something out of those reincarnation webnovels you got addicted to. What now, you were the MC? Wattpad ka, girl?

"Look, this is a mistake. I still have to wake up early tomorrow to give out the donations," you spoke to the glowing being (or whatever it was), laughing nervously. "I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong person. Either that or I must be hallucinating from sleep deprivation, because I'm definitely not a divine creature. You're probably just a product of my imagination. Sorry, I'm going to bed."

Bang!

At that moment, the power in the building went out. The only thing you could see was the thing who assumed you were a biraddali (they were so bright they were like a flashlight in the dark for you).

"Brownout?" you blinked. It felt wrong, though. It was eerily silent. "Did a fuse blow up?"

"Nagsimula na ang iyong unang pagsubok, Y/N," they announced seriously. "Creatures of the dark have already begun to take over this building. You may not have noticed, but all throughout your life, you have always been helping and giving. It is your nature as a being descended from the heavens themselves, and now, it is time for you to accept your destiny."

"Hoy, sandali lang! Sandali, sandali!" You were absolutely wide awake now as you heard the sounds of strange whispers around you. It was terrifyingly creepy, much creepier than whatever you'd seen back in the Trese Residence (and you'd seen a lot in that house). You did not want to be a part of a horror movie-like lifestyle. "Don't I have a choice in this?! I—I don't have any training or fighting skills! Hindi ako Alexandra Trese o Babaylan-Mandirigma! I'm not ready for this, holy sh—"

The candescent creature raised a brow at you, "Inday, I just told you that you have the power of a lost mystical being. And tell me, if you had the power to save your companions in this building from the forces of evil, would you save them?"

You were silent, knowing the answer.

"Well?" they prodded.

You bit your lip, "Oo naman. I'm not heartless!" But you were a little impulsive. And apparently, insane.

"That's what I thought. I just need you to believe in yourself," the being encouraged, gentler this time. It transformed into something smaller and rounder—like a ball of light. "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N, at marami kang kapangyarihan. Isa dito ay ang pagtulong sa mga nangangailangan, lalo na laban sa masasamang nilalang."

Bestie, what had you just gotten into?

You swallowed apprehensively, then nodded in determination, "Sige. So, how do I save the people in the building? Biraddali were said to be able to shapeshift, right? If I remember the tale correctly. Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me right now."

"That's just one of your abilities, but I'll teach you. I'm actually your guide," they replied confidently. "With me, you'll be able to master your powers and exceed your capabilities in no time!"

"Wait! Anong pangalan mo?" you asked breathlessly, following them as they speedily flew out of the room. "Grabe, slow down! I'm not athletic! I haven't even exercised this week, goodness."

"... Gabay. Ako si Gabay."

Despite the adrenaline and fear running in your veins, you still grinned up at the ball of light, "Okay. Nice to meet you, Gabay."

This was just the beginning of your supernatural combat training abroad. When you returned to the Philippines three years later, you were stronger, faster, and more powerful than you'd ever felt before. It was crazy.

Oh, that guy who tried to rob you when you came back to Manila was crazy, too. The two identical-looking men in dark suits and white ties—you wondered how they were surviving the heat in that attire—could only watch in awe as you chased down that man who stole your bag while doing acrobatics and parkour.

"Uy, Kuya Crispin, sino kaya 'yun?"

"Ewan ko, Basilio."

"... She's kind of pretty. Type ko. Type mo rin ata."

"The more important question is, paano niya na nahuli ang magnanakaw?"

"Oo nga, no? One in a million chance 'yan dito sa Maynila, haha! Ang astig ni ate!"

(Next Chapter.)

± Author's Notes ±

Ayieee, type daw tayo ng kambal! 😌

How the hell did I write this entirely random thing in one day? 2k+ words? Ano daw? 😃⁉️

You know, this was supposed to just be a Trese one-shot or a bunch of drabbles for the characters I'm currently simping for... but it turned into a full-blown, shameless self-insert slash crackfic. Kakacellphone ko 'yan. 🤦‍♀️

Nagresearch pa ako ng articles about Filipino skymaidens because I wanted something similiar to the Japanese celestial maidens (tennyo). Very random idea but why not? Gusto ko ng badass Y/N na hindi takot lumaban sa mga mumu! 👻

Also, pagbigyan niyo nalang ang matandang 'to kasi ilang taon na akong hindi nagpopost ng mga writings ko. May track record pa naman ako bilang author na hindi nagtatapos ng mga fanfic, hehe. I also haven't read the comics so please forgive me for any inaccuracies and of course, misspellings/errors. Gusto ko lang matapos 'to para makakabalik na ako sa Jujutsu Kaisen. 🥲😗

Anyways, comments and constructive criticism are welcome! Hit those heart, reblog, and follow buttons for updates! Just comment if you want to be tagged in the next chapters. ❤

#trese #trese netflix #trese 2021 #crispin #basilio #maliksi #dominic #x reader #kambal x reader #crispin x reader #basilio x reader #maliksi x reader #dominic x reader #trese x reader #thera.writes

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braceletofteeth · 2 years

Text

Ten characters I fell in love with in 2021

I really wanted to do this when I saw it for the first time, but told myself to wait at least a week. If no one tagged me, then I'd do it anyway. But a few days ago, an ANGEL, @adithemadfangirl, did it <3 I was SO happy, thank you so much, darling! <3

*This list is in no particular order. It'd be too cruel to ask me to rank them.

1. Yoon Jongwoo (Strangers From Hell)

He's so small, it's like having a cute little bunny in the palm of your hand. Except this one can, wants to, and will kill you.

He's confusing and deceitful, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me love him even more.

2. Yook Dongsik (Psychopath Diary)

THE LEGEND. Makes you think he's an ordinary clown but then you find out he's actually the owner of the circus and all the clowns wanna BE him, BEFRIEND him, or KISS him on the mouth.

(A true inspiration. Has the most satisfying character development of all time).

3. Eve Polastri (Killing Eve)

Beautiful mess. I want to sit back and watch mesmerized while she does normal stuff, like chop some onions or smother someone to death.

4. Ryu Sooyeol (Bad And Crazy)

Facial expressions are A+. He's a good son and a good wife.

Also mentally ill (to add some spice!).

I've only had this wimpy detective for a month, but you can pry him from my cold, dead hands.

5. Shintarō Midorima (Kuroko no Basuke)

60-years-old-grandpa trapped in the body of a teenager. Nerdy and grumpy. Makes you covet his respect more than his affection.

Even his superstitions are endearing.

6. Lee Dongsik (Beyond Evil)

Has anyone that met him not been marked for life?

7. President Gu (Life)

The last decent bussinessman standing. Could make an empire out of nothing, out of absolute chaos. He commits fully. Wanna get on his way? Better have an alphabet worth of backup plans (because he sure does!).

... He's also thoughtful and kindhearted. Much more than you'd think :(

8. Oksana Astankova/Villanelle (Killing Eve)

I missed her voice every day for weeks after I finished Killing Eve. I could hear her accent all the time and never get tired of it. She's the one I have the most of a good time with, doesn't matter where she's at or what she's doing.

Everyone is underdressed in her presence.

She made some mistakes but memory is a funny thing haha, I don't remember any of it ?? :)

9. Seo Inwoo (Psychopath Diary)

Pathetic. Main cause of his own problems. Has Family Issues (as in his whole family is a fucking issue). Has the cutest crow laugh. Usually calm and collected but all his brain cells check out when his hand is held by another man.

Heinous, horrible individual, in serious need of jail time—but not for too long, because then I miss him :(

10. Seo Moonjo (Strangers From Hell)

Annoying. The reason why I know petnames in eleven different languages.

Made a home in my head, infests it with weird thoughts like a parasite. Never leaves; therefore, I'm never alone.

[Honorable mentions:

XI. Luke Brandon (Confessions of a Shopaholic)

I was on my extended Hugh Dancy Era when I came across this guy. I would say his name and no one would know who the fuck he was.

He tries to advise poor people that are being fooled by rich assholes. He's a lawful good that cares deeply about things like "honesty" and "credibility". How could I resist?

XII. Lee Yeon (Tale of the Nine-Tailed)

Gave my favorite fox (Tomoe) a run for his money.

I love how he keeps getting dangerously attached to a lot of people despite his 'I don't give a shit' personality.

Extra points for having a cool sword.]

I'm tagging @softneomirotic @somebodycallixii @mangodelorean @jentonic @smiley-wookie and @chhagiya if any of you guys haven't done it yet and would like too <3

#tag game #I really wanted to do this one aaaaaa #is it obvious that I love this kind of thing #please keep tagging me I really don't mind <3 #oh I need to give a little explanation here:#I watched SFH at the end of 2020 but only allowed myself to really dive in the story and the characters in 2021 #that's why Moonjo and Jongwoo are on this list #it's hard to imagine now #but I don't think they would have made the cut in 2020 lol #for 2022 I wish MORE WOMEN #and by god I will find them

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cheekygreenty · 3 years

Text

Little Witch - Part 21

The Darkling x Reader

The atmosphere in the Palace was welcoming and enjoyable yet you couldn't help but dampen the mood of those around you. Your smiles were visible fake, your laughs as forced as the diplomacy of the evening. It was hard to focus on anything but the Queen's request, you could still feel her cold touch on your hands, could still hear her voice as if she was standing next to you. Some would say being in the presence of the Royals was a blessing by the Saints, but to you it was a sudden blight; a curse.

The duties and obligations you had were out the window now as you looked for the particular head of red flame hair, completely ignoring the Kerch ambassador and his slurring words of trade agreements.

Did Genya tell her General that the charming Lantsov Prince was soon to be wed to the Deputy of the Second-army? Or did she keep that part to herself? You had a feeling it was the latter given Aleksander's behavior earlier but what if he knew- What if his obedient spy told him everything and he was looking at your predicament as an opportunity, even though it would hurt you to the core and shatter your moral values. There's nothing he wouldn't do for more power.

'Deputy Y/L/N, I presume?' A man in a military uniform adorned with colorful medals approached you from the side, silently shooeing the Kerch man away and taking his place despite your obvious air of hostility. You were in no mood for diplomacy.

'The one and only.'

'So I have heard.' You could make out the smallest tinge of an accent reminiscent of a Fjerdan rhythm through the spoken words. His blonde hair and long beard tell-tale signs of his druskelle service and enough for your anger to flare. 'Tell me, what kind of Grisha are you?' You didn't miss the disgust dripping from the word as he forced it through his teeth. No doubt he hated himself for being here.

'A powerful one.'

'More powerful than the Sun-Summoner?'

'Much.'

'I won't forget that.'

'I hope you don't. Tell your people too, it'll save me some time and perhaps some lives.'

'Is that a threat Deputy?'

'Yes' He snorted and looked around the lively room.

'Fjerda isn't here to fight tonight, we're here to party. I thought it would be the same for you, no?'

'I don't keep peace with people who wish my kind dead.'

'Neither does your General. But the West, I'm not too sure they're on the same page'

You bit back the urge to smack the tall man stone-cold. The West was a tricky situation that had been playing heavily on your mind for as long as you could remember. Although it was Ravka, Grisha were no longer safe there. Zlatan was coercing with the Fjerdans to capture Grisha in exchange for military backup and as much as it angered you to keep the First-Army General alive, it would create a whole other problem if he was found dead.

'West Ravka is Ravka. All Zlatan is is a mere General of the First-Army. He's no King.'

'You would be surprised. People would listen to a stableboy if he spoke of truth and justice.'

'And would Fjerda back him up too?'

He smirked and gave a nod of his head in amusement at your raging eyes. 'You drüsje get so worked up over words. It's actions that matter.'

'Not here in Ravka. Remember where and what you are. Then think of what half of this room can do to you' Without so much as a goodbye, you walked away from him with a huff and continued looking for Genya. You hadn't even seen Aleksander make an appearance yet but you didn't think you wanted to see him, not after your conversation with the Queen.

We wish for you to marry my son

Every time you thought you had shaken the haunting request, it came back with a shiver up your spine. It went against everything you ever believed in. You hated the crown, the Lantsov line, you hated the Ravka they created. But this didn't feel like something you could reject. It wasn't a proposal, it was an alliance.

You turned your head to the doors and watched as Zoya clambered up the stairs in her stunning blue silk kefta. Behind her, a Suli performer climbed up on her silks as if it were all she'd ever known. Her body swung gracefully and smoothly, not batting an eyelid at all her observers. It was memorizing and distracting, something for which you were thankful.

'Haven't you got some Dukes and Ministers to babysit?' Zoya appeared beside you, eyeing up the empty glass in your hand.

'Let them roam free for the night'

'As long as they're not groveling over me'

'Because your presence is so much more captivating than the Sun-Summoners' You rolled your eyes and made your way to get a new, full, glass.

'Thank you for finally admitting it'

'Where's Genya Saffin?'

She made a face and took a glass to, bringing it up to her lips and taking a small sip.

'With Alina. Why?'

'Oh nothing, just some details to hash out about Marie attending dinner' You covered up. 'I spoke with a Fjerdan dignitary. He had no problem hiding that West Ravka is coming to their aid.' Zoya was a good soldier and a great tactician, if you were to tell anyone such sensitive information, it would definitely be Zoya.

'I overheard a Zemeni ambassador say they were spotted at Zlatan's rallies. He's raising his ranks whilst our own coffers run out. We can't afford a war with each of our borders'

'Try telling the King that' The Lantsov King. Nikolai's father. Nikolai.

'Saints are you alright?' Zoya looked at you with wide eyes, then to the broken glass crumbling in your hand. You had been clutching it so hard you managed to smash it and slice the palm of your hand.

'Oh umm- I need a moment' You disposed of the glass on a nearby table and basically ran to the nearest washroom. Crimson red blood dripped slowly from your fingers as you tried to keep it from staining your kefta while you closed the door behind you.

This was the first moment since your talk with the Queen where you were alone. Truly alone, no ambassador looming over your shoulder or a Duke at your side. Alexander, Alina, and Genya were still nowhere to be seen and the demonstration would begin shortly but all you wanted to do was stay in this tiny and stuffy room, shut off from everything. You washed your hand down with water, hissing in pain as the water tinted red and carried away the signs of injury. The quarters were quiet and calm, a stark contrast to the liveliness in the hall not often seen in the Little Palace.

The Little Palace tended to be quiet, but the Grand Palace was different. The Grand Palace. The winter home of the Lantsovs. Nikolai. Marriage.

The gentle tears came like a surprise, rolling down your face with grace. 'Fuck me' was all you could say as your head rested on your uninjured hand. You still felt exhausted and overwhelmed now even more so but you liked to think you hid it well. What good was a Deputy in emotional turmoil at a party full of political vultures?

The door to the small space suddenly opened and none other than Genya Saffin walked in with ease only she possessed. She looked at you in shame then fixed her attention on her shoes, not meeting your broken gaze.

'I take it you spoke with Tatiana?'

'Why didn't you tell General Kirigan?' You sniffed and wrapped your hand in a handkerchief, not bothering to wipe away the tears that you continued to cry.

'I felt it wasn't my place'

'Why?' Your voice cracked, slightly distracting you but the meaning to your question was obvious. Why me?

'She wished to squelch his bastardry rumors with your standing reputation.'

'Does he know?'

'She wrote him, but he has yet to respond.'

'Why not Vasily? Is it to make sure a Grisha never sits on the throne?'

She stayed quiet, toying with her sleeve. 'She says you have the air of a false Queen but the mind of a demon'

'Nothing new there' You laughed and straightened up, using the handkerchief on your hand to pat your face dry, diminishing any last sign of your weak moment away. 'Is Alina ready?' She looked at you with pure pity on her face, the compassion bursting on her face busting at its seams.

'Yes. Last I saw she was with the General.'

'Thank you Ms.Saffin'

***

You didn't mean to miss the demonstrations, but you took your time walking back to the main hall anyway. It was only when you saw the darkened room and searing light did you stop dead in your tracks at the door. Alina stood there on the podium, the image of a Saint. Her black and gold kefta shimmered in her light beautifully, illuminating her face and smile. She was glowing. Her powers had brought her not only luxurious life but good health, something everyone prays for. The black looked well on her too. It set her apart from the sea of bright keftas and gowns. In a Palace full of Grisha and powerful members of society, only Alina and Aleksander wore the black keftas, not even you wore it tonight and it made you feel surprisingly insecure.

He stood to her side, enthralled by her show of strength and skill. He was fascinated with her, it showed in his eyes and on his face but it definitely wasn't a facade. Even watching them from afar you could see that he looked at her as if she was his Sun, the only thing capable of lighting up his night sky.

You didn't know how to look at her. Everyone around you was worshipping her, whispering silent prayers to Sankta Alina: the Sun Saint, but you stayed frozen and still. You were never faithful to the Saints, they never listened to you, so what good would pledging your allegiance to Alina be if you knew Aleksander planned to extort her?

The whole room was kneeling now, heads bent down in symbols of submission yet you stood. No doubt you stuck out like a sore thumb, but a leader does not bow to anybody, not even the Saints. He momentarily turned his head to look at you but his eyes were far from the softness he gave Alina. They spoke more than his smooth words ever could yet this time the silent exchange did nothing to soothe your muddled head.

A tap on your shoulder caused you to break your burning gaze away from the summoners and to a guard instead.

'Deputy, we have 2 First-Army soldiers who claim to have found Morozova's Stag' The Stag. Just my luck.

'Tell the General, I have no business with the stag' You waved him off and returned your stare back to the room, scanning the crowd like a hawk when her eyes caught yours. Queen Tatiana was looking through to your soul, demolishing any confidence you could muster at that moment.

Marry my son.

----------------

Part 22

Taglist (tell me if you want to be added to the Little Witch taglist!!) @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess @lunas1x1 @adoringb @grisha-of-shadow-bone @rosiethefairy @carlywhomever @allisjustok @keepdaydreamingbb @luciadiosa

#shadow and bone #the darkling #imagine #the darkling x reader #ben barnes #grisha #alexander #alexander morozova #alina starkov #fanfic #general kirigan x reader #six of crows

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honoredbastard · 3 years

Text

I COME BACK WITH THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON ITADORI AND HIS RELATIONS- I THINK.

anyways, so i'll just point this out: i'm not good at speaking my thoughts in an organized manner. i absolutely suck at it, i speak on how my brain brings up the thoughts so i might ramble, get over my head in a thought, etc. i can't control it so i apologize in advance for the jumpiness of the texts. i will spell a lot of things wrong and not everything will be correct, as i read translations and on a manga site. don't worry it's not illegal, i believe.

MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

i apologize for my absence! last week or two weeks ago the tower to my computer completely broke and will not turn on. i tried to repair it and follow my fathers instructions but nothing worked. even cleaned off the fan and went through countless nights readjusting things. it's not my cords either so to help me out my father is working extra shifts to get me a new pc. so in the meantime i'll do small posts like these but not full writing/head canons until i have a computer tower lol. a family member was kind enough to allow me to have their phone while we work throughout this issue.

now onto the actual topic:

kenjaku and itadori's relationship. ( family wise ).

for context in the most recent chapter, 160 "colony" kamo shows up in sasaki's home and talks to her about the culling game and a barrier. but that's not the point, the point is as he's guiding her to the barrier inside her "dream" at the end he says "oh right. i almost forgot to tell you. thank you for getting along with my son." and then she is awakened inside the barrier, in her pajamas beside iguchi. when sasaki and iguchi look at the barrier and gather themselves they bring up kamo.

sasaki asked iguchi if he mentioned his son and he says no. this leaves sasaki in a state of confusion when itadori flashes in her mind. she says his name aloud like she finally connected the dots. now. why am i bringing up this whole kenjaku thanking sasaki for being his "son"'s friend. it throws me off because why didn't he thank iguchi?

did he not think iguchi meant their friendship? because sasaki was the one uninjured and still counted itadori as a friend? does iguchi not consider itadori as a friend anymore?

because we haven't seen these two at all since the incident. that raised many questions in me. as well "how can itadori be related to kamo?" and itadori is related to choso.

because kamo's technique is explained ( vaguely. we are aware he can create barriers, take over bodies, and has incredible cursed tools. chapter 134. this is also where choso makes his connection ( i believe. ) to itadori yuji as his brother. but because we saw this with todo many thought itadori just had another unconsious technique that allows the person who is hit create false memories and believe of a completely made up relationship with itadori without his knowledge. but alas, i was wrong. ) and we're given more hints shown than told ( imo ) i tried my best to make sense out of the situation and what he said. i think my conclusions are pretty solid, so continuing on.

we're given very little history on itadori, his past, and family. at the start of the manga we know that itadori's only family he knows is his grandfather and that he is ill in the hospital. at the very very beginning we learn that itadori is your average cute, fluffy, laid back but strong and goofy protagonist. in smaller words: itadori is kirby but even cuter and dumber.

my first impressions of him is a pineapple. if you're confused to this saying: it's calling a person prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside. and this is true, itadori's grandfather seems prickly and cold on the outside but he genuinely cares for itadori.

he raised itadori for all we know and did that with his all in assumption. but this ends up backfiring onto itadori, because he cares so much for his grandson - he ends up leaving a " curse " on yuji.

help people. save them.

itadori takes this to heart as his grandfathers speech is his last one. when he looks over to his grandfather the man is dead and now yuji is left alone. then the following events occur.

at this point in time i assumed itadori was an orphan ( he technically is if we're connecting the dots. his parents has not been shown, he doesn't speak of them, they aren't in the picture. we can conclude either they disowned itadori or died before he could make complete memories of them. )

but when we are shown in chapter 143 itadori's parents we see this "woman" jin ( yuji's father ) and his grandfather talking about has the same scar pattern. this scar pattern is either stitching ( assuming that is how kamo keeps the top of the opened skull from coming off. this is also how kamo revealed his cursed technique / body of sorts ( the brain, assuming that is kenjaku in his cursed technique and not the body / puppet he is controlling " getou suguru " ) to gojou. )

this is the only way i find kamo being able to assign itadori as his son. why is that you might be asking this dumbass here.

we do not have the full story, exact date, location, and full context of the memory/dream itadori is having. this cannot be fake either because kamo would than have no reason to call itadori his son. or is there? anyways.

take a leap of faith with me. imagine that before itadori is born ( he seems no more than a few weeks or days old in this memory. hence why i am thinking my conclusion is pretty solid in theory. but yknow gege, there might be something different. ) anywhooo.

TW. D3ATH/IMPLYING ANTI LIFE ATTEMPT

kamo had to have taken over yuji's mothers body after an accident OR after she gave birth to yuji. his grandfather is interrupted by her before he can finish his sentence but it seems to be leading to the conclusion that either kaori ( yuji's mother ) died while giving birth to yuji or kaori could not conceive and tried to take her own life or cause an accident that would take her life. ( i read a fan translation for this part but im pretty sure i also read the official translation today too and it added up to the same. )

i believe in the first idea, but since kamo's cursed technique wasn't explained in detail i don't know the conditions of his body technique. does the original host of the body have to be dead? can he regenerate body limbs ( i highly doubt. getou lost an arm during his fight with yuta. overconfident dick. reminding me of an ex ANTWAYS. i forgive him for being overconfident smooch. he learned. OFF TOPIC but continuing on i promise.

this is being continued from the cut off point. i'm so upset so it'll just be summarized. i can't believe this shit lol i took three hours just to finish it for it to literally cut off the bottom half.

continuing on in a sadge mood. kamo must not have the complete ability to take over a body. after all getou took his only arm he had as he was dying and choked his own body to his full ability. getou was willing to die ( possibly, you never know he could be alive if he killed his own body. moving on. ) just to have the chance to save his friend from being swallowed by a damn box.

so there has to be a chance that kamo cannot fully take over the previous persons complete consious and memory of their body. if getou still had his other arm after losing the fight to yuta, he could've choked kamo with both arms. in theory kamo wouldn't be able to control the right arm and die to the previous host choking him to death.

so why wouldn't the other hosts do it? after all, kamo did say it was his first time experiencing such a thing. assuming kamo has lived throughout many bodies in his 150+ lifespan none of the previous hosts could take control of their body.

i believe getou was completely influenced by gojou and his six eyes. there is no way gojou would even try to speak out to his friend unless he had an inkling or saw getou still in there. helpless and without the ability to save himself from the cage he's in.

being used and puppeteered in his own body by an external force. laughing in the world he could not. putting getou into a constant misery and defeat that he couldn't escape his hell. the one he tried so hard to fight and get out of. even if it was the wrong path.

gojou was the last person to witness getou dying. he had to watch getou bleed out after their conversation because he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. the one he spent his whole jujutsu student life with. so for gojou to say such a thing to getou despite all that he did had to break getou out of his misery and give him that small sliver of hope that he could do something. of course he failed, but i doubt that's going to be the end of that.

the only way i see kamo being related to yuji is if he took over kaori's body before the pregnancy. assuming that when kamo takes over a body he becomes one with said body and is that person for however long he lives in said body. my only thing is, can he take over a persons body whilst they are alive? i would go more in depth like i did the last time but i am extremely upset about my work being erased so that's the end of this part.

thank you for reading! i have one more thing for you though.

the last time we see sukuna in a manga page after the shibuya incident is where he is on his throne and in his domain. this is after yuji is stabbed by yuta and is presumed "dead" at the time. he seems to be interested in yuta and i can think of 2-3 things. I would love to hear your theories too so don't be afraid to barge into my dms like the koolaid man.

A - sukuna is interested in Yuta because of his ability to use the reverse healing technique ( only a few sorcerers know this. sukuna being the first. shoko being the second one to be told that she has this power and then gojou. ) because of this he sees potential in yuta as well or has added this boy into his plans. after all, there is very few that can make sukuna make an expression that isn't an RBF. aka megumi and possibly gojou. I was looking at the page of him stabbing yuji and noticed we only see the entry point of where the blade enters. it's smaller because some got chunked off so its a possibility yuta used this to his advantage when "killing" yuji and instead hit an artery that could kill him but quickly healed him afterwards. or just his heart. the ideas.

B. Rika, Yuta is able to completely control Rika as shown. Even though he claims he is on the weak side, these two combined seem like an unstoppable force. He may be interested in Rika as she is a curse that has been put on someone that can fully control it. Not many people is shown to be able to control their curse. As we haven't met many.

this was enti and that's the last of my post! thank you for reading and it was a fun one. even though i had to restore this shit. anyways, i'd love you to add or fix up my ideas and tell me your thoughts and opinions! Thanks a bunch!

^ this is for pure humor

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the-music-maniac · 3 years

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You ever notice how similar Xie Wang and Han Ying’s stories and character arcs are?

A warning here that this contains spoilers for all of Word of Honor/Shan He Ling. Stop reading now, I reference a ton of shit.

I was actually discussing a couple fic ideas with a friend a few weeks ago, and I got to wondering after thinking about those parallels I could see -

Does Han Ying x Xie Wang exist as a ship?? Is that a thing?? That exists?? Can it please exist??

It has so much potential. There's so many narrative parallels with these two characters.

They're two people who deserved better than their respective endings, who never got what they wanted, because of the manipulation of men who wanted power and would stop at nothing to get it (Jin Wang and Zhao Jing). The manipulation of those who saw them as less then what they were.

They also have similarities in their relationships with their "mentor figures" - Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, and Xie Wang and Zhao Jing. They have quite a lot of differences too, enough that their lives parallel each other instead of mirror, and I just think that their personal experiences could make for a very compelling storyline if these two were to interact. It would be an interesting road to a development of a potential relationship, and moreover an opportunity for both of them to learn from the other and heal.

And real talk? I just want the both of them to be happy tbh (and of course that obviously doesn't need to involve a romantic relationship - I just have no self control. I'd be just as ecstatic about a really good friendship though).

I also know they never interact in the drama - but then again these two are also literally dead in the drama. Reality is what you make it 🤣🤣. And considering how close the Scorpion was working with Tian Chuang - honestly I'm pretty sure you can't really say they haven't met either.

So anyways, I guess reasons why I think this would be a good ship dynamic:

First of all, their relations with their mentors and how it's similar to each other and also not. The resulting potential for mutual support:

Han Ying's dearest wish is to be a disciple of Zhou Zishu's, as he says plainly in that one episode.

The thing is, there could be quite a lot of subtext taken from that - I've read interpretations that he's in love with Zhou Zishu, or at least has romantic feelings for him - a strong crush possibly - which I can plausibly see (I can also see it just being platonic, which I will talk about later). But yeah, a romantic interpretation just because of how strong his devotion towards Zhou Zishu is. The wistful looks?????

In that kind of situation, IF the romantic feelings are two-sided instead of one-sided - which I would like to go on the record and say that with Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, I don't believe it is - and as a result actually becomes something, that type of relationship would not be the most healthy, because there's a very strong imbalance of power. Even if the mentor figure genuinely cares and actively minds the mentee's feelings - the mentee still undeniably has that level of hero worship - it won't ever be equal. We can see that already in Han Ying's case, Zhou Zishu repeatedly tells him to stop treating him with so much formality because he's not the leader anymore and yet Han Ying still remains deferential.

In that interpretation, if that were the case of it being two sided - Han Ying would have quite a lot of similarity of experience to Xie Wang's relation to Zhao Jing -

And here I can talk about how Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship is uh. Kinda sus tbh. Like. That doesn't look like a healthy or platonic father-son relationship and it gives me the creeps. In Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship, I'm more inclined to believe there's some semi-incestous yifu fucking going on than anything platonic, there's just so many sus moments - and if I'm not mistaken they dubbed over a line in the show where it was basically stated plainly that it's not a platonic relationship. Or at least - Xie Wang doesn't view Zhao Jing platonically (and I don't believe Zhao Jing discourages it at all, if anything he actively encourages and guides it to make Xie Wang dependent on him). So we got another setup where it's potentially one sided romantic feelings/hero worship. Or maybe two sided for them, who knows.

But the thing is, while I talked about unhealthy romantic relationships in my section about Han Ying, a fundamental difference between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships with their mentors is that Zhou Zishu's relationship with Han Ying would be a lot healthier. A LOT healthier. So much fucking healthier, I cannot emphasis that enough. And that's mostly because their relationship is not two-sided, and because he sees Han Ying as a person.

He cares about Han Ying a lot but not as anything beyond platonic - he views him as a student and a subordinate and protects him as such. Han Ying on the other hand could have romantic feelings for Zhou Zishu. Not in love per se, it feels to me like it could be a mix of a really strong crush with really strong hero worship. I don't think Han Ying truly knows Zhou Zishu's other aspects of personality (yet?? I guess because if we're gonna hypothetically bring both Han Ying and Xie Wang back to life he probably will eventually get to know Zhou Zishu properly), because I doubt he ever showed anything beyond his stern assassin leader type of persona to his subordinates. He was likely caring yes, but in a way that keeps people at a distance. So, a mentor-mentee type of relationship where Han Ying could be crushing quite hard on Zhou Zishu. But still a healthy one, as Zhou Zishu, one - doesn't intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Han Ying - and moreover, although might know about his feelings, or his devotion at least(tbh you'd have to be blind not to), he treats them, and him, with respect. He doesn't try and manipulate Han Ying, or use his emotions for his own purposes. He sees Han Ying as his own person. His affection and regards towards Han Ying remains unconditional, even if Han Ying messes up or doesn't follow instructions. Instructions that, btw, repeatedly try to keep Han Ying out of the line of fire, and makes it clear that Han Ying is to put himself first.

Everything Zhao Jing does however is solely to cripple Xie Wang and make him wholly dependent on him. He's been grooming Xie Wang from such a young age, and his positive regard and care is ALWAYS conditional. As soon as Xie Wang messes up, he takes it away as punishment, and because of how Zhao Jing's made himself the center of Xie Wang's world, that action is devastating to him. He subtly encourages and toys with Xie Wang's regard for him for his own purposes, he tries to make Xie Wang jealous so he works twice as hard to earn back Zhao Jing's attention. And as we see with his intention to eventually discard Xie Wang as soon as he is no longer useful - he doesn't view Xie Wang as a person. He's merely another tool in his arsenal.

The reason why I wrote such a long ass analysis about the similarities and differences between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships is because as I mentioned before, one reason I think this would be a pretty interesting ship and dynamic is how these two could help each other. At first, it might be more Han Ying helping Xie Wang.

Xie Wang hasn't ever experienced what a proper and healthy guardian type relationship is like, or even what it means for someone to choose him first. He's a victim of abuse, and should he manage to survive the avalanche at the end of the show, there is potential for him to start to undo all the damage that Zhao Jing has inflicted on him all those years, especially if the man is truly no longer around. And I think Han Ying would be in a very good position to offer him support in that journey. Moreover, if Han Ying has had an experience similar to that, it could be the reason he would want to offer support to Xie Wang. He's experienced a lot of what Xie Wang has experienced, but he's also seen what it is for someone to genuinely care about him, and as a result likely has a more healthy view on that type of relationship. They're similar enough for Xie Wang to potentially not want to push Han Ying away if he ever offers his help, but also dissimilar enough that Han Ying could offer new avenues of thought.

At the same time, if you just read Han Ying and Zhou Zishu's relationship as a really strong type of hero worship, this dynamic could make sense too. Han Ying clearly looks up to Zhou Zishu quite a lot, and on top of that, Zhou Zishu in a way represents everything Han Ying has wanted and couldn't have - aka a family and a mentor figure and a home to call his own. Regardless of if it's purely platonic or not, it's still an infinitely healthier relationship, a parallel to Xie Wang's experience, so the potential of the offer of support remains the same.

Second of all, similarity in origin and life experiences, which is a small thing tbh but still an important thing:

Han Ying is someone I don't know a lot of background on tbh - I presume he doesn't have a family anymore, and somehow ended up in the Window of Heaven. I've read fics where Zhou Zishu was the one to save him at some point and offer him a position in the assassin group, and I'm inclined to take that as a plausible head canon (unless it's actually canon, idk I haven't read tyk yet).

So, in bare bones, he's an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking member of an assassin group.

Xie Wang is also someone who no longer has a family - we don't know that much about his background either, but I presume he was happened upon by Zhao Jing in some way - I'm not sure at what age tbh, is it assumed that he was raised by him?? Or maybe in teenage years??

Whatever it happens to be, Xie Wang was taken in, maybe even "saved" by (although if you ask me, he'd be better off without) Zhao Jing.

So in essence it is the same thing as Han Ying's experiences, an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking (or the leader of) an assassin group.

And not only that, as I mentioned from the beginning, these two both realize and know, eventually, that they’re being used by men who are desperate for power (Jin Wang, Zhao Jing).

I mention this actually as just an extension of my first point, because while I mentioned that Han Ying very obviously can support Xie Wang in that particular “past grooming and abuse” aspect, there are probably still many hidden traumas and scars for these two from the lives they’ve both lead. Their similar experiences lead to similar choices which helped shape who they are, and as a result, I think these two could truly understand each other and where they’re coming from.

Their personalities would fit pretty well with each other. I think:

I don’t know if my interpretation on how these two are is accurate tbh, so feel free to let me know if you think it’s out of character.

To me, Han Ying seems like someone who would be pretty calm around the people he cares about; responsible, smart, eager to learn, with a steady sort of presence. He seems like someone who would wear their heart on their sleeve around people he trusts too, but not in any overtly obvious way. I think the reason why I get that impression is that, upon rewatch, I could plainly see his worry about Zhou Zishu in episode one, but when I first started the show, I somehow missed it entirely. Han Ying also didn’t show any qualms about admitting to Chengling that he wants to be Zhou Zishu’s disciple - which can be a very personal piece of info. The way he was around Zhou Zishu, and Wen Kexing also gave off an air of innocent eagerness to do well in his accomplishments and for approval. I’m not saying he’s always like this, because I’m rather certain he has a darker side too - as we see with all the characters, no one is without their traumas and no one is without artifice or without complexity. They’re all grey moral in a very human way, and Han Ying is no different. We’ve seen before too that once he’s got his game face on, the man is pretty competent and also ruthless (his conversation with Gao Chong for example) - I don’t think he could be any less if he’s that high up in the Tianchuang hierarchy. But at the same time I can also see him being a bit of a very subtle disaster (almost?? Slightly dorky??) in certain situations, and we can see that kind of peek through when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing hijacked his kidnapping attempt and he was kind of like uhh. Okay so, I’m in a choke hold, I think that might be my former commander, so like. Let them go. It’s actually really funny cause while Wen Kexing was telling Gao Chong and Chengling to hurry up and leave, I swear you could see Han Ying contemplating his entire life.

The face of a man confuzzled.

Xie Wang on the other hand, is someone that’s more impulsive, liable to push or be mischievous, less of a steady personality and more like - for lack of better word - an absolute gremlin. A pretty murderous one. It’s a bit hard to tell all aspects of how Xie Wang is tbh, since he has many different mannerisms while talking to different people. With Zhao Jing he has a very subservient, almost dutiful, childlike and innocent air about him, and a sort of. Sa jiao (撒娇) type of demeanor. He craves approval from Zhao Jing, and is just generally very baby around him, and I’m really not sure how much of that is how he actually is and how much of that is him learning that this is the best way to get Zhao Jing’s attention. And tbh I don’t think all of that is grooming, I think Xie Wang probably does have the potential to be as soft or as innocently childlike and happy with others he cares about (just hopefully in a lot healthier way). I think we see his soft side a little with Qianqiao when he gives her the cure. Despite that though, we can still see other aspects of him surface. He makes suggestions and pushes when he thinks Zhao Jing’s refusals are unreasonable, he just goes and does his own thing sometimes (um usually murderous things. Like when he killed Song Huai Ren and told Zhao Jing he’s a traitor). He’s mischievous about some of his actions (after literally stabbing a man, ‘what? he said I should kill him if I have the ability’). He’s a lot more obviously gritty and aggressive and morally grey than Han Ying appears, which I think adds dimension to his character when added in with everything else. He’s also very smart, competent, ruthless - obviously since he runs the Scorpion, but he’s surprisingly fair and almost? Honourable? In certain aspects? And like Han Ying, he does somewhat wear his heart on his sleeve, retains that eagerness to do well and is somehow not as jaded as he could be, as he still finds the capacity to eventually care for a stranger (Liu Qianqiao).

I may be oversimplifying how these two could be, but with their personality types I think they have a lot of potential both in a romantic relationship or as close friends. And in a way that at first glance would probably be puzzling - how in the hell did these two become friends/get together (lmao you’ll see Han Ying in his rather sensible disciple robes and then Xie Wang is just there in his braids, dramatic black outfits, winged eyeliner, etc. 🤣🤣😅😅) but on closer thought, makes sense. Han Ying could be a more steadying presence for Xie Wang, and Xie Wang in turn could help him loosen up a bit more. (That’s kind of oversimplifying it but it’s 5 am where I am rn and I’m too tired to elaborate) I also believe Xie Wang might push Han Ying to be more ambitious, be able to do things for himself more - because Xie Wang went through a process of, everything I do is for someone else, until I realized they were using me, and now I’m going to do it for myself. In that way they could potentially push each other to higher heights in what they do, and they are pretty similar in ideology and morals and previous actions. They both have blood on their hands, and they’re not afraid to be ruthless or do what’s necessary to get the job done. They have their traumas, their complexities and an understanding of what it’s like to put on masks for different people.

The potential for found family. All the found family. Gimme:

This one I feel like is more obvious and changes some things about canon, but the timeline I imagine for if Xie Wang x Han Ying would be a plausible ship is one where Han Ying survives the stealing of the fake glazed armour incident and becomes one of the disciples of Siji (second disciple of the sixth generation????). Everything else would likely proceed in a very similar way (although in this au in my mind Gu Xiang and Cao Weining are alive). And then during the avalanche incident, with WenZhou trapped in the armoury, Xie Wang ends up surviving and they end up finding him somehow.

Whether or not it’d be out of character for WenZhou to save him I think could be explored, but the bottom line is that eventually they would probably take him back to Siji. There, whether him meeting Han Ying goes smoothly or not is up to interpretation - I very much doubt it would be an amiable meeting tbh - in fact I fully imagine it to be antagonistic af at first, considering what opposing groups they used to be a part of and the knowledge of how deadly the other can be - trust would be hard to come by, which makes a slow development all the more interesting. And moreover them becoming friends or dating would likely help Xie Wang into the dynamic at Siji because now there’s a more tangible connection between him and the place, and I can see while he’s getting to know all the people of Siji, eventually thinking of them as family as well. And Han Ying in turn gets another person who cares about him, and for him to care about.

I’ll be honest here and say that I don’t particularly care at this point how realistic or in character it all would be - I need found family in my life I have no self control. Xie Wang and Han Ying my beloveds needs all the good things.

Another possible meeting is just Han Ying being sent to negotiate with the Scorpions instead of Duan Pengju (is that how it went? I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on plot points here) and meeting each other that way. There could be moments of understanding while working together, an inevitable kinda separation, and eventually seeing each other again at Siji, after all the shitshow is over. The development could continue from there.

The closer age gap:

I’d like to preface this part with a disclaimer that I’m not trying to bash any other ships that are out there, this is actually just entirely my personal preference.

I don’t really like big age gaps in my ships unless their both established adults - for example in their 30's 40's, even 50's. Even if one of them remains young in body, it’s just not a dynamic I generally like. The most popular ship that comes to mind here is Ye Baiyi x Xie Wang - and all the more power to you if you do ship it tbh, I can see it being really adorable and healing for the both of them, especially since Ye Baiyi never really gets a happy ending either (and he absolutely deserves one 😤😤😤) - but that as a ship dynamic is personally not for me, especially after Xie Wang’s kinda hinted relationship with another man that’s also older than him. Ye Baiyi obviously is ten million times the man Zhao Jing could ever be, and it would be an infinitely healthier relationship anyway, but yeah the age gap thing is just my personal bias.

So I don’t know, I appreciate that Han Ying and Xie Wang are both closer in age to each other. I know there aren’t confirmed ages (I think?) but if I had to take a guess, I’d say I think both of them are probably in their early to mid twenties.

Anyways, it’s literally 5:43 am now where I am, so I think I’m gonna end this way too long post and pass out. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing is coherent anymore, I’m half delirious with exhaustion while writing this. I might possibly write a fic or do something about this Xie Wang x Han Ying ship, I might not, but I just wanted to get it out there. It’s a cute idea.

Oh god my eyeballs are burning. Cheers, goodnight.

#word of honor #xie wang x han ying #han ying x xie wang #Han Ying #Xie Wang #Shan he ling #I mentioned WenZhou #so I suppose I should put them in?#CaoXiang #Four Seasons Manor #Zhou Zishu #Wen Kexing #Jin Wang #Zhao Jing #liu qianqiao #word of honor spoilers #spoilers

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lightsaberupmybutt · 3 years

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Three’s a Crowd - Reader/Ben Solo/Poe Damerson (Modern AU)

alright so Ben/Kylo is a big ego kid in this, because of course. Also, Rey is ACTUALLY Lukes daughter in this, making them cousins. Ive fiddled with the plot okay sue me.

Summary: Poe, Finn and their roommate have been living in a harmonious tenancy, but when Finn decides to move out for a year of travelling, the two are left with no option but to look elsewhere for their third body. Rey Skywalker, a friend of the group, proposes her cousin for the role. He's in a band, wears all black and all in all is somewhat of a social reject - but he's also all theyve got.

“I think that one was actually somehow worse than last weeks” You tell Poe, as he pours himself a juice and settles down next to you on the sofa. You'd just finished showing around another possible roommate and you felt exhausted in every sense of the word.

“How can he be worse than the neo nazi?” Poe shot you an unbelieving look and rolled his eyes, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table and knocking some of your papers in his wake.

“Alex was a she, and they asked if they could hang their deer head in the front room” you grimaced even thinking about it, weren't all artsy college students supposed to be vegetarians anyway? why did you have to get saddled with the only blood thirsty one on campus.

“Thats not so bad”

“Poe she showed me a picture of her taxidermied cat”

“Oh”

You had tried to find a polite way to stop her from passing you her phone, but you were too nice to make her feel uncomfortable, and now the image of the long dead tabby would remain behind your eyes for god knows how long.

“was she hot?” You shook your head, causing Poe to sigh wistfully.

“Not hot enough to cancel out her obsession with dead bodies anyway” you informed him, the hopeful look from his eyes gone.

“Face it Poe, were doomed” You let your head fall into your hands, Poe letting out a laugh before wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Hey we’ll get someone! who wouldn't want to live here?” You knew his question was rhetorical but when looking around the cleaner than usual flat, you had to admit it was missing something. Bare spaces on the walls from where Finn had taken down his pictures, the empty side of the kitchen counter that had once houses his overpriced coffees. You even missed picking up his empty cups after him, the room feeling like it had less character without them. It truly hadn't felt the same in the flat since Finn had left, and although Poe concealed it well, you could see it was getting to him too. Poe had, after all, known Finn first; Finn managing to get a very drunk and outspoken Poe out of a sticky situation he had found himself in when running across a local gang in a dive bar. The ‘first order’ as they so called themselves, had an infamous reputation around campus for being trouble makers and general doers of bad deeds. Ever since that night they had been an unstoppable duo, until they met you of course, and their duo became three.

You loved Finn, and you knew told miss him like hell, but you also knew that Poe must be feeling that ten times over.

“You wanna do something tonight?” You asked, changing the subject before his mind drifted to where yours had.

“what kind of something?” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively,

“Gross”

“hey I'm serious!”

“what about Razor Crest, they are open late, we could grab some drinks and meet up with some people”

Razor crest was the only worth while bar in town; it was certainly nothing to write home about, but it played fairly decent music and it had a marginally less sticky floor than others. Additionally, your other friends lived just over from the humble saloon, making it the perfect watering hole for you guys.

It didn't take much convincing before you had Poe out the door and ready to socialise. Upon arrival, he headed to the bar while you were waved over by Rey, who had already found a booth and was already at least a few drinks in.

“Look, i think i have a solution to your roomie problemo” She told you, peeking over her straw, a gleam in her eye that made you feel not all too confident in her yet to be spoken plan.

“Go on” you told her, cautiously.

“My cousins back in town” She told you between gulps.

“The weird one?” You asked,

“Hes not weird, just ...eccentric” the last word was more of a question, but you could tell she was on a roll,

“He's just joined one of the college bands and Auntie Leia says him and Uncle Han are butting heads”

“ah cool, weve always wanted live music in our own flat at 2 am” Poe injected, rejoining the table and placing a drink in front of you before taking a sip of his own.

“hes not BAD at it, he just plays loud i think” She corrected him, “anyway, he's not a total twat, I'm sure he would be considerate of your sleep schedules”

“didn't he try and stab you with a stick when you were five” you asked her, you'd heard stories of this cousin before and none of them were quite savoury,

“that was ages ago! he's like way old now” she was starting to slur her words, but you had a feeling this was something Rey was quite set on. Rey was stubborn, and when she got something in mind she would move hell to make it happen; she was also your best friend, and someone you trusted the judgment off. Had she gotten you into some weird shit in the past? sure.

Did you have any other options; nay on that.

“Fine, get Han or Leia to bring him round at some point next week and one of us will give him a tour” You tell her, and she lets out a little happy shrill at her own personal win. Poe, not so much.

“Speak for yourself, weirdo cousin can see himself around” he crosses his arms and pouts, you give him a little nudge.

“Hey, maybe you'll be best mates” you offer, but when he shoots you a death stare you go back to your drink.

The family turmoil must have been more vicious than Rey had let in on; It was barely the next morning before you had a tall, intimidating male knocking on your door.

“Hey!” you offered him, in as cheery a voice as your hung over self would allow.

He looked down at you from his towering height, but gave no verbal response.

“You must be Ben?...” He offered you the slightest nod you'd had ever seen in response. Okay so, not much of a talker, noted.

You waved him in, shutting the door behind him. God, he looked even bigger inside? is that possible? Rey had failed to mention the sheer height on the boy. You'd seen pictures of her and her aunt and uncle, it seemed like Ben was a scientific and biological mystery. Like how did he get clothes to fit? did he have to shop somewhere special or

you were snapped out of your thoughts by a clearing of a throat.

“So, how much is the rent” so he DID have a voice,

You informed him automatically, still part dazed.

“Ill be in by the weekend” he told you, and with a nod he moved past you, making his way back to the door.

“But wait .. y .. you haven't even seen your room yet?” You stumbled, dumbfound by the lack of foreplay. The previous people you had shown around were full of questions; they wanted to know the ins and outs of the place. Ben had seen all of the door way and the front room and he was already signing the lease.

“See you then” he didn't stop, hand on the door knob as if you hadn't spoken.

“But i don't have your phone number” you don't know why that came to you first, but it was true. At no point had Rey offered you direct contact with Ben, probably assuming he would. It seemed reasonable, that you'd need his number before he moved in, didn't it? Poe was always texting you about random shit in the flat, arguably too much, but it seemed like the norm for people coexisting in such a small space.

He turned back at you and gave you a confused look,

“why would you need my number?”

“erm... to talk to you” your condescending tone not completely masked,

“but ill be living here” he stated, which, he had you there.

Before you could even think of a response he was out the door.

True to his word, Ben had his things over by that very same weekend. Although it was unsurprising considering just how light he packed. In fact, other than his bass and musical equipment, you couldn't really think of anything he had actually brought with him to the flat. You got to meet his parents when they dropped him off, both of whom seemed leaps and bounds more conversational than their son. Ironically, you got Leia’s phone number before her sons; her telling you to message if you ever needed anything. It felt like an indirect jab at Ben, a ‘if he fucks up let me know’, but you digress. The tension between Ben and his dad was blatantly obvious, them sharing no words before he got back into the car and Ben into the house. He did give his mum a small hug goodbye though, and you thought you saw a small tear in her eye before she managed to wipe it away.

Since his move in, Ben had kept painfully to himself. You barely saw him at all in those first days, just heard him through the walls the odd time he dropped something - or saw a plate or cup gone from their places in the kitchen. To be honest , it felt more like a paranormal haunting than a new roommate. Poe was vocal of his apprehension to the situation, sharing glances with you when you would both be in the living room and you'd see ben scurry by or passive aggressively texting you when his favourite cup had been used by someone who wasn't him. it was a relatively small issue, but Poe had blown it so out of proportion that you had ordered a new set of cups from Amazon and sent him the link, shutting him up for a while before he found something else to complain about.

it was the fifth day before you actually bumped into ben again. He was on the sofa with his base set up, twiddling with his amp. The sight surprised you so much you physically jumped back, causing him to look up. crap. act cool. act cool.

“hey” you offered him

“hi” hi replied back, looking back down at his amp.

right, yer. his space, give him his space. Just get your stuff and go back to your room. don't speak to him, leave him alone. he clearly wants to be left alone.

“nice day isn't it” you wanted to cover your mouth, the words coming out against your will. Truthfully, you had no clue why you said it. You hadn't even looked at the weather this morning. Its just what people say right?

“Erm” his eyes shot to the window and then back to yours,”no”

sure enough, it was pissing it down outside. The sky was actually comically grey and you'd have laughed if you werent so angry at yourself. You were unsure of what to do, and he was still looking at you, almost assessing you. His eyes were so serious and dark they felt like they were burning tiny holes into your skin. shit, you had to speak now right?

While regretting every single life decision that had brought you into this kitchen at this time, Poe sauntered into the room like your night in shining armour, ignoring Ben all together and coming straight over to you, placing a big arm around your shoulders. You saw Ben drop his head back down to this bass, and you used all your might to not let out a sigh of relief.

“Tonight, I'm taking you out” He offered, a cheeky gleam in his eye.

“Are you now”

“Razor crest, drinks and dancing, be there or be square” He lists off as if he's a paid promoter, causing you to let out a giggle.

“Whos invited?”

“just the gang” he said, causing you to shoot him an eye roll, knowing full well you ‘gang’ consisted of all of three people, yourself and Poe included in that number.

but then you remembered, there was another person now, whether they liked it or not. Poe’s eyes followed yours to Ben and then back to meet yours again, you saw the realisation change to disgust, as he shook his head silently at you.

you knew this look, the ‘don't you dare’ look, the ‘not in 1000 years’ look. But you couldn't help it, your lips were moving before you could stop them for the second time this morning.

“Are you free tonight, Ben?’

The look of sheer betrayal on Poe's face made you wince, surely he'd understand right? he knew you well enough to know your verbal diarrhoea problem.

Ben didn't even look up, but he did let out a small laugh that felt quite antagonistic.

“i dont go to Razor Crest”

“i don't go to razor crest ugh” Poe mocked, causing Rey to let out a hysterical giggle, and you a sigh.

You'd been out for all of three hours and you were all already feeling the effects of the alcohol. It was late and the bar was jam packed with students all raring to go. Poe had been making eyes at one particular red head almost all night and you were half surprised he hadn't already made his move. Poe put out, it was a fact. You and Finn had at one time made a fridge chart for him, a gold star awarded every time he brought girl home. Whether the goal was to make him feel proud of his conquests or embarrassed, you still weren't 100% sure, but after a month or so you had both lost count and given up. You told yourself it didn't bother you, that he was just a friend, and that he owed you nothing, but every time he left you at the bar for another girl something stung inside; something you pushed deep down but regrettably was still there none the less.

Sure enough, as the night progressed, you and Rey ended up fending for it alone, and instead of feeling sorry for yourself you decided to do the responsible thing and drink more.

After the third round of shots, Rey calls it in.

“I think I'm gonna be sick” she tells you sheepishly, and you can't help but belly laugh in response. She starts to shuffle towards the door and you go to follow.

“Hey don't leave on my behalf” she tells you earnestly, but you wave her off.

“Nah I've had my fill, I'm starting to forget which flat number i live at” you tell her, causing her to giggle this time.

You both stumble out the bar, past the smokers and up the cobbled road towards her flat. She unlocks her door and lets herself in, not before giving you a drunken hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

As you ready yourself to make your way back to your own flat, you come back past the bar entrance; a particularly prominent cobble causes you to trip ever so slightly and gain a whoop from a group of boys who were passing round a box of marlboro straights.

You suddenly realised just how dark it was and just how alone you were. Most nights you wouldn't stay out this late, and if you did, then you'd normally be walking back with finn. You let out a shiver, a mix of both the cold night air finally breaking through your drunken daze and a smidge of fear. The Razor Crests entrance lights were getting progressively further away, and although you know that you only had a maximum of a half mile walk back to your home, it felt like ample distance to get kidnapped or murdered in, most probably both.

How many true crime stories started with a young drunk girl, scantily clad and out alone at night? You could hear the police reports now, which photo would they use? you prayed it would be a hot one, at the very least one after your thin brow phase.

Being literally bumped back into reality, in almost a cruel humorous way, you felt yourself walk head first into a figure, their arms coming out to catch you as the sheer momentum bounced you back.

Oh god, I'm dead. I'm literally going to die.

“Hey, chill out” The voice made your heart beat both slow and race again,

“Ben?!” you shrieked, voice hoarse through pure anticipation of your thought to be demise

“Are you okay” he asked, and only then did you realise you were shaking like a leaf.

“Im fine” you let out in a small voice, looking down at your shoes. You could feel the redness in your cheeks through pure embarrassment alone. This was not an ideal situation for him to see you in, and you kind of started to with that he had been a murderer, at least then you wouldn't have to deal with the second hand embarrassment in the morning.

“What are you doing out here”

“why are you out alone”

you both asked simultaneously,

“I was coming out for a smoke” He told you, flashing his tobacco pouch at you from inside his coat. His very warm looking coat, might you add. Another shiver ran down your body.

“Im coming home from Razor Crest” you tell him, trying to be matter of fact but slurring your words just enough to spoil the show.

“Yes obviously, but why are you alone” he shoots back in some what of a patronising tone, it wouldn't sit well with sober you and it definitely doesn't go down well with drunk you.

“Im a big girl”

“clearly” he makes, making extra sure to look you up and down from his towering distance above you, causing you to huff.

“well i can take care of myself”

“you shouldn't be out alone around here, its not safe” he ignores your response, looking you dead in the eye.

You feel something inside you flutter, a warmth that you can't quite control. Okay, ben might be weird and a bit annoying it would seem, but he was handsome, thats for sure. The limited light danced off his strong features and dark shaggy mop of hair, making him look both dangerous and appealing.

As if you were standing here mentally flirting with the idea of being with Res cousin; you made a mental note to punish yourself for the ludicrous thoughts in the morning.

“Okay well I'm going home now” you tell him, attempting to push past him, but his large hand finds its way to your forearm and pulls you back,

“yes, you are, come on” If what he said before was patronising, he was now speaking to you like you were a dog he was walking.

“go have your nicotine, ive got this one covered” you tell him with a mock salute, causing him to roll his eyes. He lets go of your arm and you take your win, trying to step confidently away without falling. You're proud of yourself for handling the situation when you realise he's following all of 10 steps behind you, rolling a cigarette in his hands while holding a filter between his teeth.

when he catches you looking, he nods down to his hands,

“want one?” he mumbles between his lips, still holding the filter pride of place.

“no thanks” you snap, picking up pace.

Ben smirks at you, but you miss it, too focused on not embarrassing yourself and keeping your feet in line.

#Star Wars #Star Wars imagine #star wars modern au #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x reader #Ben solo #ben solo x reader #ben solo x y/n #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader

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stargazer-sims · 3 years

Text

Journal Entry #30

Victor

Hey, everyone! Check this out! Selfie with my mom!

I guess that's a dead giveaway as to where I am right now, isn't it? We're standing in front of her house in our mother-son photo, so you've probably already figured out that I'm in Willow Creek.

After nearly two years away, coming home feels odd. In some respects, it's as if I never left, but in others it's like I've stepped into a place I no longer recognize as mine in the way I once did. The strangest part is, I can't put my finger on any specific thing that's different. I guess maybe it's me that's changed.

Even so, I’m glad to be here. It’s great to be with my mom and the dogs, and to sleep in my old room and to reminisce about times when my life was far less complicated than it is now. I’m looking forward to the chance to relax.

Don’t get me wrong; our stay at the hotel in Kyoto was a welcome escape from what was happening in Mt. Komorebi. It did have its moments of relaxation, but it’d been such an eventful, emotional roller coaster of a week that I’d be grateful if nothing much at all happened while we were staying with Mom. And, seeing as we’re now in Willow Creek, where nothing much ever happens anyway, I'm hopeful that I’ll get my wish.

We went back to Mt. Komorebi after checking out of the hotel on Saturday morning, and then spent the remainder of the weekend doing household chores, finalizing our international travel plans, and unpacking and repacking our suitcases. I want to say it was almost life as normal, but it really wasn’t, because even though a lot of the stuff we were doing was ordinary and mundane, we did it all with the cloud of our ongoing problems hanging over us.

Yuri has been down ever since he found out that his mother is going to the States for six months. That news was a shock to both of us, but he's taking it particularly hard. Yuri and his mom are a lot closer than I realized, and although we haven't talked about her impending departure all that much, I think he's scared by the idea of being without her for that long. I can empathize. Aside from her visit back in the summer, I've been away from my mom for way more than six months, and sometimes it's really hard. Like, sometimes you just need a mom hug, and when she's not there, it can feel pretty lonely no matter who else is around.

I know we'll talk about it when Yuri's ready, but for the time being, I have to let him work through everything in his own mind. Whenever he needs me, I'll be here.

As for me, my biggest worry over the weekend was my meeting with Tomiko and our General Manager, Mr. Ogawa, on Monday morning. Yuri and I discussed it, and we decided that if Mr. Ogawa continued to insist on me speaking to the police, then I should. I didn't want to, but in the end I understood that it probably was the best choice.

I need not have worried so much about the meeting with my boss, as it happened. Mr. Ogawa is a reasonable person, and he wasn't angry that I hadn't reported what happened with Ren in the training room. He was genuinely concerned that I might've been seriously hurt, and if he was angry with anyone it was with Ren himself.

Mr. Ogawa told me that Ren had been permanently banned from the fitness center, as of Saturday, and that he and his figure skating coach would have to find somewhere else for him to train. I was glad that Ren would never be coming back to my workplace, but at the same time, I was scared that he'd blame me for getting him kicked out and try to find some way to take it out on me.

On Monday afternoon, Yuri went with me to the police station. Mr. Ogawa had given me the name and number of the officer in charge of the investigation, and we asked to speak to her. She took me into a little room, where it was just me and her and a digital video camera, and she asked me a lot of questions about the incident and recorded everything.

Yuri wasn't allowed to come into the interview room with me, and being on my own was actually more terrifying than giving my statement to the officer. I really wished he could've sat with me and held my hand. Instead, we were compelled to worry about each other from a distance.

When I asked the officer what was going to happen to Ren, she said she couldn't confirm anything, but that it was likely he'd be criminally charged for assaulting me. She asked me if I wanted that to happen, and I said yes. As much as I wanted to avoid any further conflict and drama with Ren, I also didn't want him to get away with injuring me and threatening Yuri. I suggested to the officer that she might want to speak to Hana as part of her investigation too, and wrote Hana's number down for her. She thanked me and said she'd follow up.

Remembering what Tomiko had told me several days before, I asked the officer about an order of protection. She told me that the police don't initiate things like that, and we'd have to petition the district court, but the fact that Ren might be charged with assault would help convince a judge that Yuri really does need an order of protection. She told me that we should look into it when we come back from Canada, if we continued to feel it was necessary.

One more item to add to the list of things to think about, I guess.

Anyway, bright and early on Tuesday morning, we left the country, once again doing our best to put our troubles behind us.

In real time, the journey itself takes around twenty-one hours, which includes about fifteen hours of time in airplanes, and several more hours of layovers between connecting flights. It'd been a long transit for us, involving multiple planes and plenty of wandering through airports, trying to decipher confusing signage. For his first international trip and his first experience on an airplane, it may have been almost too much for Yuri.

To our dismay, we discovered that Yuri gets airsick. Let me just say, the worst time to find out something like that is on the first leg of an international flight. He was miserable for most of the voyage, even after we managed to track down some over-the-counter anti-airsickness tablets at a duty free shop during our first layover, and by the time our last flight landed at Willow Creek Airport, my poor husband was looking more than slightly worse for wear. I had to help him down the portable stairs they brought out for everyone to disembark from the plane. No fancy tunnels at our humble airport, unfortunately.

Since we'd reached our final destination, we had to pass through Customs so Yuri could have his electronic travel authorization checked. He's allowed to visit Canada for ninety days without requiring a visa, but we assured the border agent that we're not going to be here that long, so it was all good.

I wanted to laugh at the way he was admiring his first passport stamps. He was so pleased over that, one might've thought he won the lottery or something.

Mom was there to meet us in the arrivals area, right after we collected our luggage. As soon as she saw us, she started to run toward me, arms outstretched. I had to brace myself, because she literally didn't stop until we were in each other's arms, hugging as tightly as we could. We might've stayed like that for almost a minute, and by the time we finally stepped back, both of us were crying.

"I'm so happy to see you!" Mom said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I know it's only been a couple of months since I was with you, but it feels like forever."

"For me too," I said. "Sorry to spring this surprise visit on you, though. The opportunity came up, so we had to take it."

"Of course you had to," Mom said. "I don't mind surprises like this. What mother would ever be upset about having her son and her bonus son around?"

Yuri smiled, a little shyly. "I like that you call me that. Your bonus son."

"Well, you are," Mom said. "And I'm just as happy to see you, Yuri."

"Thank you," he said.

"Would you like a hug, too?" she asked him.

I was proud of Mom for remembering not to touch him without checking if it was okay with him first. After the day he'd had, I honestly expected him to say no, but to my surprise, he took a step forward.

"Yes, please," he said. "Just a small one, though."

Mom smiled at him. "Don't worry, sweetie. I know how you like them. Short and to the point."

"I promise I'm working on that," he said.

"It's okay," she said. "I'm not going to expect more than you can cope with."

"Thanks."

Four or five seconds was his limit, but it was progress. When they let go of each other, Yuri quickly came back to me. I put an arm around him protectively, and he leaned against me. He was trembling, and I couldn't tell if it was because of anxiety or because he was exhausted and not feeling well.

"You okay?" I inquired quietly.

"Not really," he said. “I’m still feeling a little sick, but I don’t know if there’s something wrong, or if it’s just because I’m so tired. I need to lie down for an hour or so, I think."

“Are you in pain?”

“Yeah. A little bit.”

"Let's go home, so you can rest," Mom said. "After this summer, I can certainly appreciate how long and tiring a trip it is. Have you boys got all your stuff?"

I counted our bags, satisfied that all five — my one big suitcase, Yuri's three, and our shared carry-on — were there. "Yeah," I said. "We've got everything."

"I'm going to grab a baggage cart," Mom said. "Neither of you look like you're in any shape to carry anything. You both look like you could use a shower and a nap."

"And tea," I said. "I could really go for a nice hot cup of tea. The stuff they give you on the plane is lukewarm and gross."

Mom laughed. "I remember airplane tea. I'll make you a decent cup when we get home. How about that?"

"Sounds awesome," I said. I angled my gaze down at Yuri. "How about you, my famous husband? Are you in the mood for tea, or do you just want to go to bed?"

He rested his head against my shoulder. "Can I drink my tea in bed?"

"I think we can let—“ Mom began, but then she realized what I'd said. I could see in her face the exact moment my words registered in her brain. "Husband?"

I'll confess, I was grinning like an idiot. "That's what I said."

"Victor! Did the two of you get married? When did this happen? Why wasn't I invited?"

"It happened last Thursday," I said. "Nobody was invited. We eloped."

"Last Thursday? And you didn't think that was something you should've told me right away? I've been talking to you every day since then."

"The reason I didn't tell you is because we wanted to see your reaction in person," I admitted. "Sorry, but now I know it was absolutely worth waiting for."

"Victor Nelson, you are the living end," my mom said.

"It's Okamoto-Nelson now, actually," I said. "We couldn't decide which of us should take the other one's surname, so we just went with both."

"The living end," she repeated, shaking her head. But then her face broke into a huge smile and she tried to pull both of us into an impulsive group hug. "Congratulations!"

Yuri whimpered, but bravely endured my mom's enthusiastic display of affection for the amount of time it lasted. I think it's fair to say we were both relieved when she released us; Yuri for obvious reasons, and me because I could tell how stressed he was from the unexpected contact. I felt bad for him. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Mom, we should get going," I said. "Yuri really needs to rest, and I'm starving. I'll tell you all about our trip to Kyoto on the way home, okay? And if you let me drive, you can even look at our wedding photos on my iPad."

"You eloped, but you have wedding photos?"

"Yeah, funny story about that," I said "We planned to get our pictures taken before we decided to get married. They weren't really supposed to be our wedding photos, but they are now. Come on. Give me your keys. We can continue this in the car."

"Okay," Mom agreed. She fished her car keys out of her coat pocket and handed them to me before trotting off to get a baggage cart for our stuff.

Our ride from the airport was uneventful. I drove, and Mom sat in the front and chatted with me while Yuri napped in the back seat.

Even that brief nap must've done Yuri some good, because he looked considerably better by the time we got to Mom's house. It was apparent that he was still tired, but he'd gotten some colour back and seemed more relaxed. The three of us mutually agreed that we'd have our tea first. Then, I'd show Yuri my old room downstairs and help him settle in, and afterward, Mom and I would bring in all the suitcases from the car.

The minute we stepped through the front door, we were greeted by a stampede of dogs, if you can say two chihuahuas and a boxer are enough to constitute a stampede. Taz, the tiny pack leader, made a beeline for Yuri, and I held my breath in anticipatory dread. The way I remembered, Taz has never been a fan of strangers, and I fully expected him to start freaking out. To my astonishment, however, Taz jumped up, placing his front paws against Yuri's leg, and wagged his tail furiously as if he'd just found a long-lost friend.

For his part, it was like Yuri instantly forgot his exhaustion. "There are so many!" he exclaimed "And they're all so cute!"

He bent and scooped Taz up. That would normally trigger a fit of insane howling from the resident four-legged drama king, but Taz settled comfortably in Yuri's arms, looking like he was always meant to be there.

Meanwhile, I was delighted to find that my Rosie hadn't forgotten me, even after my long absence. She was dancing around on her hind legs, yipping excitedly, demanding to be picked up too. Unlike Taz, Rosie is almost always ready for cuddles, and far be it from me to have denied her. I lifted her up and nestled her against my shoulder, loving the familiarity of how well she fit there.

"Looks like the Tasmanian Devil's mellowed out since the last time I saw him," I commented to Mom, gazing in wonder as I observed a side of Taz that I barely recognized.

"Not really," Mom said. "He still growls at your Uncle Stephen, and he completely loses his mind every time Julian comes over."

"Probably because Julian is the one who took away his boy bits," I said. "I mean, you can't blame him for holding a grudge, can you?"

Yuri was staring at me. "Excuse me? He did what?"

"Julian neutered him," I said. "Mom and Julian don't treat their own animals. It's kind of like how doctors don't perform surgery on their own spouses or kids."

"Yes, I get that, but it's the kind of surgery he performed..." He looked like he was going to be sick. Lowering his head, he buried his face in Taz's fur. "Poor baby. No wonder you hate him."

"It's a routine operation," Mom said. "And it's the responsible thing to do."

"That's easy for you to say," Yuri retorted. "That's an important part to wake up without."

I smiled. "I think we've got a few more things to talk about before we adopt your fur child."

Mom looked intrigued. "Yuri, are you getting a dog?"

"Yes," Yuri said. "Victor says I can finally have one."

"He's been asking me about it since before we moved out of the old house," I said. "He's wanted one for ages, but it never seemed to be the right time."

"What kind of dog are you thinking about?" Mom asked.

"A small one. One like..." he trailed off, looking a little distracted. "Oh! One like that."

Confused, I looked in the direction he was looking. Peeking around the edge of the Dutch wall next to the washing machine was a little white ball of fluff. The small dog emerged slowly, the battle between nervousness and curiosity plain in its body language.

"Mom, who's that?" I gestured at the small white dog with my free hand. "Did we acquire a new family member you forgot to tell me about?"

"No," Mom said. "She's a foster. I've had her for about three weeks."

"She's adorable," Yuri said. "What's her name?"

"She doesn't really have a name. Everyone at the clinic was calling her Mop, because that's what she looked like when she came in, and it seems to have stuck."

"That's awful. Mop isn't a real name." Yuri knelt down and set Taz carefully on the floor. He held out his hand toward the white dog. "Come here, baby. I'll tell you what your name is."

"Did her owners give her up?" I remembered Mom had gotten Taz that way. His previous owners left him at the clinic, and Mom ended up fostering him. He became so attached to Sugar that she decided she couldn't rehome him and opted to keep him herself.

Mom sighed. "I wish they'd surrendered her to a shelter or that they'd come in person to ask us for help," she said. "Julian found her in the parking lot, in a taped-up cardboard box, when he came in to work one morning. We had to give her the full course of parasite treatments, and she was in desperate need of the groomer."

"Why do people do that?" I wondered aloud. "By the look of her, she's barely past the puppy stage. How could anyone have a dog for a year and then randomly decide they don't want to keep her any more?"

"Unanswerable questions," Mom said. "And yes, we think she's around a year old. She's in good health generally, although she does have some dietary restrictions."

I glanced down at Yuri. "Kind of like you," I said. "Small and cute, with dietary restrictions."

He gave me a withering look. "You're not funny, you know."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder," he said. The dog had made her way over to him and was ambitiously licking his hand. He was petting her with the other one. "Dr. Nelson, what kind of dog do you think she is? She looks like a Pomeranian, but her fur's too short."

"She is a Pomeranian," Mom told him. "She's had her hair done, that's all. Having her fur shorter makes it easier to maintain."

"Her hairdo is called a teddy bear cut," I added.

"Poms need a trim every six weeks or so," Mom said. "They're high-maintenance."

"Also kind of like you, Yuri." I said.

"Still not funny."

Mom made an exasperated sound, halfway between a groan and a laugh. "For goodness sake, Victor..."

"Sorry," I said.

Yuri was clearly ignoring me at that point. "So, she'd need someone with lots of time to take care of her fur," he mused. "Someone who pays a lot of attention to personal grooming."

"She needs her nails done regularly, too," Mom told him. "Small dogs don't wear their nails down as much as larger ones, so you have to trim and file them, or get a groomer to do it."

"Like a dog pedicure?" He reached out, as if he was about to pick the dog up. "I could handle that."

Mom tried to forestall him with, "Be careful, sweetie. She doesn't like to be picked—"

But, even before she finished the sentence, it was too late. Yuri had gathered the dog in his arms and was cuddling her, and she was tentatively licking his cheek.

"You'd like to have a day at the dog spa, wouldn't you, Sango-chan?" he said. "You'd come out looking so pretty."

"Sango-chan?" Mom's brow furrowed, trying out the unfamiliar Japanese words.

"Sango. It's her name," said Yuri. "You can't keep calling her Mop. It's insulting."

"Sango means 'coral'," I explained to my mother. "You know, the stuff in the ocean?"

"Thank you. I know what coral is," she said. "That does seem better than Mop. One of you will have to teach me how to say it properly though."

"I will," Yuri said. "And I can show you how to write it."

"That's a lot harder than it looks, just so you know," i said. "I still suck at writing kanji, but at least I can do all the hiragana now, and I'm getting a lot better at reading."

"I'll teach you the kanji too, then," he said. "Tomorrow, we'll have a lesson." He held Sango up to his face so that their noses almost touched. "You can help us, Sango-chan. You can inspire us by being cute. I think that'll be the perfect task for you."

Sango's response was to dart her tongue out and lick the tip of his nose. He laughed, and so did I.

"Why do I have the feeling we're going to be going back to Mt. Komorebi with this dog?" I said.

"You know how it is," Mom said. "Once you name them, they're yours. But, if you want to leave the country with her, you'll need medical clearances, and she'll likely have to be in quarantine for a week or two when you get there."

"It's lucky we know a vet who can issue a health certificate," I said.

"Are you serious?" Yuri asked. "Can we really take her home with us?"

"I'll tell you what," i said. "Why don't we see how you and Sango get along for the next couple of days, and then we'll decide, okay? Then, we can take her and Rosie to the clinic and Mom or Julian can certify them to travel."

"You're planning to take Rosie as well?" Mom said.

"I’d like to, if you don't mind," I said.

"She's your dog."

"Yeah, but is it going to be weird for you, not having her around?"

"You know how it is around here," she said. "This house is dog central. I'll miss her, but with just Sugar and Taz, that'll give me the ability to have two fosters at one time. The more dogs I can help, the better."

"All right," I said. 'I guess that's settled, then. We'll be going back to Japan with at least one dog."

"It'll be two," Yuri said. "I have a really good feeling."

Watching him happily sitting on the floor and playing with Sango, I had a good feeling too. As much as he'd talked about wanting a dog, I had to acknowledge that I wasn't totally confident he'd be comfortable around them. As it turned out, my doubts were unfounded, and it was one of those times when I didn't mind being proved wrong.

There's lots of work involved in caring for a dog, and I knew there'd be a learning curve for him, but I found myself less worried about Yuri's ability to take on dog ownership than I had been previously. I was impressed with how calm he was with them, and I'm sure they sensed his benevolence.

Training and grooming and cleaning up messes are things he can learn how to do. Kindness and patience, on the other hand, aren't so easily taught. Dogs are smart, and they're great judges of character. They know who they can trust, and Sango had seen Yuri as a good and safe person right away. Even notoriously antisocial Taz had been won over by his gentleness, and that's saying something.

Later, as we were settling in for some much-needed sleep downstairs in my room, I could tell Yuri was still thinking about his dog. He was lying on the bed, while I undressed, but he wasn't really paying attention to me. He was staring at something in his imagination, it seemed, and he had a dreamy little smile on his face.

"Hey," I said. "Okamoto-san, where are you?"

A slight pink blush appeared across his nose and cheeks. "Oh. Sorry. Lost in my head, I guess," he said. "I was wondering if we should've brought Sango and Rosie down here with us for the night."

"If I know Rosie, she'll be down here before the night's over, anyway," I said. "Be prepared to share the bed with her. Or not share, more like it. She's great at pushing people out of bed."

"She's... what? Three kilograms?"

"Maybe two and a half. Don't underestimate how big a chihuahua's attitude is, though. She thinks she's bigger than Sugar."

"Do you think Sango will be like that?"

"My guess would be no. I think Sango is shy and gentle, like you, but we’ll just have to wait and see.”

I climbed into bed, and Yuri immediately moved over to snuggle against my side. We were quiet for a while, and I was starting to drift off.

I thought Yuri was nearly asleep too, but then I heard, “Victor?”

“Yeah?”

"I'm really happy we came here," he said. "It's only been a few hours, and I already feel at home."

"I'm glad," I said. "I wanted you to like it, and I'm happy you do."

"This house has so much of you and your mother in it. Even without knowing anything beforehand, I'd have recognized it was yours as soon as I walked in." He slipped an arm around me and laid his head on my shoulder. "I hope our home can be like that someday, that people will know it's ours the minute they come through the door. That's the kind of home I want to build with you."

"Me too," I said. "Our house already feels like home to me, but I know what you mean."

"I think the dogs will help."

"I'm sure they will," I said. "They'll be part of our family."

"You really meant it when you said we can bring Sango home with us, didn’t you?"

"Yes. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. I still want to make sure the two of you will get along all right before we commit to anything, but honestly, unless something major happens that changes the situation, I think you'll be fine."

"How could someone have just left her in a box on the street? It's cruel, and it's sad." He tightened his arm around me and turned a little to hide his face in the crook of my neck and shoulder. "She's so beautiful and perfect, but she seems so vulnerable, and... I can't imagine ever abandoning her. She could never take care of herself. She needs someone to protect her."

"Well, now she's got you, hasn't she?"

He moved his head in a sort of nod. "I didn't think instant love was a thing," he said. "But, now I believe it is."

"Sometimes it's like that," I said. "You meet someone small and fragile and your heart just fills up with this overwhelming need to take care of them and protect them and give them whatever they need to be safe and happy."

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?"

"For loving me," he said softly. "For protecting me, and giving me what I need to be safe and happy."

"Know what?" I said. "I didn't believe in instant love either, until I met you. We both know good relationships take time and effort, but sometimes you meet someone and you just know. Like, you understand right away that you're willing to put the work in, because you know they're going to be worth it."

"I'm not sure I would've called it instant love when we first met, but it didn't take me long to realize I was willing to make the effort," he said.

"Maybe I wouldn't have called it love right then and there either," I conceded. "But, in hindsight, I think it's fair to say I knew there was potential. And I was right. You were the best risk I ever took."

"I'm glad you took a chance on me."

"I'll take a chance on you every single time, Yuri Okamoto-Nelson. You’re absolutely worth it.”

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #Willow Creek #victorandyuri #stargazersims #victorsworldadventures

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thelighthousestar · 2 years

Text

Dean Winchester Playlist: Righteous Man

I originally posted this on We Heart It, but I want to transfer it here.

I love making playlists, and I love TV shows and fictional character, so here it is. You can expect several playlists for several characters from me.

I chose the songs I put in those playlists, based on lyrics. When I don't, it's because the song is linked to a particular scene starring the chosen character (ex: Heat of the Moment), is a favourite and/or important to the character in some way (ex: Hey Jude, was a song Mary used to put Dean to sleep with when he was a kid), or because they have a special meaning to the fandom (ex: Shake It Off, that not only, has been on the show, but is also used in the Supernatural Parody by The Hillywood Show), or because I think they're songs that the chosen character might listen to and/or like.

(Of course, I haven't included all the songs that Dean might be listening to, that would be too long, hahaha.)

Knocking on Heaven's Door by Gun N' Roses

"Mama put my guns in the ground

I can't shoot them anymore"

Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd

"Mama told me when I was young

'Come sit beside me, my only son' "

Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

"And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger"

Shake It Off by Taylor Swift

"I go on too many dates, but I can't make them stay

At least that's what people say"

Hells Bells by AC/DC

"I won't take no prisoners, won't spare no lives

Nobody's putting up a fight"

Heat Of The Moment by Asia

"A look from you and I would fall from grace

And that would wipe this smile right off my face"

Smoke On The Water by Deep Purple

"When it all was over

We had to find another place"

Back In Black by AC/DC

"Forget the hearse 'cause I never die

I got nine lives"

Have a Drink on Me by AC/DC

"Whiskey, gin, and brandy

With a glass, I'm pretty handy"

Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi

"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

I'm wanted dead or alive"

Hey Jude by The Beatles

"Hey Jude, refrain

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders"

Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival

"Some folks are born silver spoon in hand

Lord, don't they help themselves, oh"

Warriors by Imagine Dragons

"But you always knew that you'd be the one

That work while they all play"

Send Me An Angel by Scorpions

"Close your eyes and you will find

The way out of the dark"

Judgement Day by Stealth

"I've crossed every line, broken every boundary

And now it's retribution time 'cause the change that I'm into

It ain't that holy!"

I'm Alright by Kenny Loggins

"I'm alright

Nobody worry 'bout me

Why you got to gimme a fight?

Can't you just let it be?"

Midnight Rider by The Allman Brothers Band

"Not gon' let 'em catch the midnight rider

And I don't own the clothes I'm wearing

And the road goes on forever"

All Out Of Love by Air Supply

"I want you to come back and carry me home

Away from this long lonely nights"

Don't You Worry Child cover by Sam Tsui

"There was a time, I used to look into my father's eyes

In a happy home, I was a king I had a golden throne

Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall"

Old Town Road (Remix) by Lil Nas X ft Billy Ray Cyrus (to be very honest with you, this song makes me think of Jensen more than Dean, but I probably won't do actors playlists, and I really wanted to include it, so here it is.)

"Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road

I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more"

Ramble On by Led Zeppelin

"Got no time for spreadin' roots

The time has come to be gone"

Travelling River Blues by Led Zeppelin

"Well I know my baby, If I see her in the dark

I said I know my rider, If I see her in the dark"

Rebel Rebel by David Bowie

"Hey babe, let's go out tonight

You like me, and I like it all

We like dancing and we look divine"

Runnin' with the devil by Van Halen

"I live my life like there's no tomorrow

And all I've got, I had to steal

Least I don't need to beg or borrow

Yes I'm livin' at a pace that kills"

Need You Tonight by INXS

"I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleeping"

Cherry Pie by Warrant

"Tastes so good, makes a grown man cry

Sweet Cherry Pie, yeah"

Leave It All Behind by Sleeping With Sirens

"When you look at my life

Tell me what do you see?

I'm only human

So don't expect too much from me"

Feel free to add to this if you want to.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #Dean's Playlist #character playlist #dovearchives playlist #deanwinchtser #spnfandom #more like cursed fandom if you ask me #always making playlists #jensen ackles #jackles

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Note

Hey Vy! 📚🌻 Here!

How is your week going? My roller skates just got here and I'm so happy omg! My protective gear haven't got here yet so I'm trying not to fall but a almost hit my face so many times- i have to stop for some time now because I need to clean my room :_: but here's your three words of this week: Paradise, curly, radio

A lot a lot looot of loveee,

📚🌻.

Hi darling 📚🌻 !

Please be extra careful until your protective gear arrives, I'd hate to hear you've injured yourself 🥺 Anyways, hope you have fun with your roller skates (always stay safe though)! 🥰

Here comes a short drabble with your three words! This one’s gonna be a little different though - no OCs and not for the Resident Evil fandom, but rather the How To Get Away With Murder fandom, more specifically - for my favorite relatioship/characters on the show! Hope you enjoy!

All my love, Vy 💌

Better

Laurel Castillo x Frank Delfino (How To Get Away With Murder - AU: Canon Divergence; AU where the characters tolerate each other XD)

Warnings: Slight spoilers (Nothing too major though), Swearing

Laurel runs a hand through Chris’ curly hair, admiring how peaceful he looks now that he’s finally asleep. He’s got a fever that’s been giving him crying fits for two days now. Having to deal with a sick two-year-old while simultaneously trying to keep up with work and her final studies has been exhausting to no end. She’s been receiving some help from Michaela who seems utterly desperate to keep herself busy at all times, even when she’s supposed to be relaxing just so her mind doesn’t spiral into the void of loneliness she’s fallen victim to as of recent. Connor and Ollie have babysat for her a few times as well, another gesture she’s incredibly grateful for. Asher has offered to look after the toddler too on numerous occasions but that’s one offer Laurel’s never taken up. She appreciates him offering her his help, but everyone would justify this action of hers considering how reckless Asher can be at times - aka 90% of the time.

The Keating 5 has come through for her when it comes to both looking after Chris and keeping up with her studies, proving their friendship to be one of those rare ones. However, Keating 5 aside, she’s received the most amount of help from one particular person. Someone who’s prepared to turn up at her doorstep at three in the morning if she needs him.

Frank Delfino

The two had a rocky start, to say the least. Their on-again-off-again relationship as colleagues with benefits. Their constant back and fourth. Then came Frank’s disappearance and Laurel’s involvement with Wes, all occurrences blowing huge holes not only in their romantic relationship but also their friendship which has always been a second away from ceasing to exist, all things considered. Friendship is hard to maintain with such a strong, hypnotic and magnetic romantic connection. Some people just weren’t meant to be friends, ever. Frank and Laurel are among them.

Speaking of Frank, the man’s been rather concerned lately, the lack of calls and messages from Laurel worrying him more with each passing day. He overheard Michaela mention Chris’ fever in passing conversation with Asher when she was bailing on a date with the excuse of helping Laurel look after the sick toddler. He’d been surprised to hear that, initially thinking it was a cheap excuse of Michaela’s to avoid spending time with Asher considering things between them have grown sort of complicated. But when Connor confirmed this claim of hers, Frank couldn’t help but grow very concerned. He’s grown used to knowing what’s going on with Chris and Laurel before everyone else so having someone else be in the know while he was kept in the dark made him feel oddly jealous and hurt.

And he could only hold his worries and assumptions at bay so long...

Responding to the knock at the door, knowing who it probably is at this hour, Laurel contemplates whether opening the door would be the right thing to do. She’s double-checked that it is indeed him, that bringing her more uncertainty than comfort, oddly enough. She’s been doing her best to distance herself from him and his life for quite a while now. She’s been meaning to give him an opportunity at a normal life, away from her mess and chaos. She’s been wanting to give him an escape from the fiasco she always finds herself dragging him into.

But he still comes back to her, by his own choice.

“Laurel, it’s me.“ His coarse voice reaches her from the other side of the door.

“Yeah...“ She trails off, forcing her hand up to turn the lock, “...I know.“

Opening the door reveals the concern on his face a lot better than she saw through the peephole. It makes her heart swell up and all she wants to do is throw her arms around him in a tight embrace. But she can’t do that, she won’t. She’s not willing to give him any reason to hold onto her whatsoever. In her eyes, he deserves a lot better. And maybe he does, but he doesn’t want anything or anyone better.

“Hey...“ he mutters, unsure of how to start of the interaction. Things have never been easy between them and, looking back, it seems like they’ve only gotten harder. Somehow, their connection has only grown stronger though. A connection he wants to uphold and a connection she wants to sever.

“Hey...What are you doing here so late?“ Ok, that’s a sustainable question considering it’s 10PM, but then again he’s come to her apartment at odder hours. Only difference is, those other times, she called him over.

“Though I’d check on you. You’ve been rather dead with calls and texts recently. Also missed Chris, heard he had a fever so I got worried.“ She hears the undertone of accusation in his voice loud and clear. It makes her bite her lip with guilt she wishes she wasn’t feeling, especially when she’s supposed to be doing the right thing.

You can’t decide for him. If he wants to keep coming back, that’s on him.

That thought hasn’t crossed her mind yet. It almost feels like she’s letting herself off the hook, feeding into the temptation to embrace what her and Frank have.

“You hungry?“ Now that is a bit more out-of-place question, but it’s accompanied by her taking a step back to allow him inside, “I ordered Thai food I never got to finish.“

He follows the signal, growing a bit more hopeful now that she’s let him in the apartment, thinking maybe she isn’t avoiding him after all. “Loss of appetite?”

“Partly.“ She replies, hearing the click of Frank locking the front door before following her in the kitchen where the hanging lights are dimmed. “Chris was throwing a fuss all day, I couldn’t really do much but focus on him.“ She motions to the living room where the coffee table is littered with sheets of paper and highlighters, some of which have found a spot on the floor as well. “Not to mention the ton of crap I need to do for school and work.“

“Would’ve been a lot easier on you had you called me, you know?“ He comments, walking over to the fridge, taking out the two packs of Thai takeout, suggesting she had been expecting him. She wasn’t really, she was just quietly hoping he’d show up at her doorstep.

“Didn’t wanna bother you. It’s nothing serious, a simple cold, I can handle it.“ She replies, approaching the small vintage radio in the corner of the kitchen counter, turning it on to a quiet volume so some tunes could fill the silences that are bound to occur frequently with the amount of tension between them.

“You could never bother me, Laurel. I’ve told you countless times before...“ putting the food he’s now moved onto a large plate into the microwave and turning the machine on, he turns to look at her, “I love Chris like he’s my son. In my eyes, he is my son and I love him with all my heart. Just like I love you.“

Instead of allowing the deafening quiet to take over them again - the soft music from the radio aside - Laurel lets the loudness of her mind surface. She lets it seep through the barriers she built in order to protect herself and protect everyone around her from herself: “Do you never stop to think you deserve better, Frank? Better than some grown-ass woman with her life in shambles and a kid whose father’s dead. Do you not think you deserve someone who knows what they want and where they’re headed with their life? Someone who...” her confidence is slowly leaving her to fend for herself and so she does, the best she can. “Someone who can cook and do their projects and work and take care of her son simultaneously. Someone better, Frank! Do you never want someone better?”

She hadn’t realized her eyes had been darting all over the place, looking everywhere but at him. How that her gaze has once again landed on his face, she feels her stomach turn at what she sees. That concerned, hurt and disappointed frown only further fuels her guilt, making her wish she’d never opened the door in the first place.

“Laurel, where’s this all coming from? Did Bonnie say something to you cause if she did...“ she cuts him off.

“No, she didn’t. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now actually. All I am to you is trouble and a burden and...“ he gets back at her, cutting her off himself.

“And you’re none of those things, Laurel. Your view of yourself is interfering with your perception of this, of us, of what we have. You and Chris are my family. The family I choose. It’s not about deserve or idealism - it’s about what brings you joy and makes you feel complete. What and who makes you feel at home. Who is your home.“ Always cautious of her personal space, Frank takes a hesitant step towards her and another when she doesn’t back away. “Lord knows it’s no paradise, but what we have is special, Laurel, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.“

Against her best attempts at keeping her emotions at bay, Laurel feels her eyes brimming with tears as she gazes up at the man she’s never been in the clear with. She never realizes what he means to her until it’s too late. She only realized she loved him when he disappeared. She only realized he meant the world to her when he had already slipped from her grip. And she refuses to continue that pattern.

Instead, she’ll work on finding out what they are exactly and even if she doesn’t reach that epiphany, she’ll still embrace it, no matter the oddity and unfamiliarity of it all.

“Thank you.“ she manages to whisper past the knot in her throat.

“Don’t thank me, you should never thank me for the things I do for you or Chris. I choose to do them. I choose to be here. I choose you because I want you. You and no one else, Laurel.“

Just then, the microwave beeps, alerting the two that their close-to-midnight meal is warmed up. Taking the plate out and placing it on the counter to cool down a little, he turns to her with a small smile on his face, “Let’s see what’s so troubling about that project of yours, shall we?”

And just like that, the tension has lifted, allowing for a smile to appear on her face as well. That ease of the mind is not something she’s been very used to throughout her life, constantly having shit to worry about and people to deal with. That’s why she’s never wanted to be a burden on someone’s back. She’s never wanted to be a major part in someone’s life, at least not until she gets her shit together.

And although she might never get her shit together, she’s got someone she loves and someone who loves her by her side. Lord knows he hasn’t been on top of his own shit either. At least they’ll be figuring it all out together.

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justanotherlifeff · 3 years

Text

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff. THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER

6 months later

"Oi Hanji! Give her something for the pain and do something fucking useful for once!" Levi growled as (Y/N) almost sprained his hand with a squeeze as she held his hand during another contraction. Levi deeply regretted teaching her those exercises to improve her strength all those months back. "Calm down Levi. I'm not the doctor here and I am not using some experimental pain killer that I made without any human testing on my best friend." Hanji replied to him calmly. Levi was loosing his grip as he wasn't ready for it.

When (Y/N) told him that her water broke at dawn, he panicked more than he ever did in his entire life. More than when Kenny taught him how to use knives by almost killing him. "Sir, we can't allow you to stay here... She will have her delivery soon..." a nurse meekly told the fuming captain, only to receive a deadly glare from him. If looks could kill, the nurse would've been dead by now. "Levi, listen to them. They delivered more babies than most of the survey corps’ titan kills." Hanji tried to reason with him. However, that seemed to stop working for the last 8 hours, after (Y/N)'s contractions began. "Levi, as the commander of the survey corps, I command you to get the fuck out of this room." Hanji told him in a commanding tone as she lost all patience with him. He was testing her like a spoilt child for the last 8 hours about almost everything.

Levi fell asleep on the chair in the waiting room. Hanji was sitting beside him, quiet sleepy herself. At least she took an afternoon nap yesterday and she felt immensely guilty for giving a huge pile of paperwork to Levi the same day. He had been working all day and wasn't able to sleep at night too as (Y/N)'s contractions started at dawn. Buying their home at Trost was a great decision as the hospital was nearby as (Y/N) had a hard time riding a horse to get there. Both Levi squad and (Y/N) squad was there except Marie, who apparently had a headache.

Hanji personally never liked Marie either and she agreed with Levi about the fact that this girl was trying to double cross (Y/N). However, Hanji saw why (Y/N) refused to let her go. If she only cooperated, she could've been a good asset to the team. It had been 2 more hours since Hanji got Levi to get out of the delivery room, 10 hours since (Y/N)'s water broke. After these agonising two hours, a nurse entered the waiting room with a pained look but a smile while rubbing her hands. It didn't take long for Hanji to figure out that she offered (Y/N) to hold her hand, given that her hand looked red. Watching the nurse, Hanji was barely able to tap Levi's shoulder twice as he jerked awake and asked the nurse in panic.

"Is (Y/N) okay?". Hanji realised that Levi took the pained look on the nurse's face as a signal to something is wrong other than the fact that (Y/N) squeezed the soul out the poor woman's hand. "Yes they both are fine. They are cleaning the baby as we speak. Congratulations Mr Ackerman. It's a boy. Would you like to see them?" The nurse asked with a smile. Hanji noticed that Levi looked paler than usual. His hands were shaking a bit too. "Yes." Levi answered after getting a grip on himself.

Levi followed the nurse into the cabin where (Y/N) had been transferred. Everyone else followed too. They were made to wait till (Y/N) was transferred into the cabin but that didn't take too long. As the nurse opened the door and walked in, Levi saw a scene that he, even in his wildest dreams never imagined. There on the bed right opposite to the door laid (Y/N), a small white bundle in her arms. She looked tired, almost as if she would pass out but there was a slight smile on her face as her eyes were filled with curiosity and love as she looked at the small bundle. "She doesn't look like herself at all..." Levi internally thought.

Yes, (Y/N) didn't have the look of a ruthless killer anymore. She looked different. "She's giving off the same expression that my mother used to have..." Levi thought curiously as he stepped towards (Y/N). That's when he realised why (Y/N) had such a sudden change. That's because what he saw affected him too. Almost as greatly as it did to (Y/N). Inside the small, there was this small baby, with raven hair, eyes the exact copy of Levi, only they were (E/C) instead of the steel grey that Levi's eyes hold. "He even got that constipated look" Hanji muttered as she followed Levi towards (Y/N).

At this point, Levi sat down abruptly on the chair right in front of the bed. His legs were shaking. There was no balance in his body. Years of training, his unbreakable balance, his extreme reflexes, all gone after looking at this sight. "I have a kid..." Levi's voice croaked out suddenly. Both his squad, (Y/N)'s squad, Hanji and (Y/N) herself looked at him as if they just saw something extremely unexpected happen. It was unexpected after all. Levi, the person who never got his guard down after meeting Kenny, was weak, vulnerable and he didn't bother hiding it.

"Levi, are you okay?" Hanji asked Levi before anyone else as everyone was extremely taken aback by Levi's actions. Even (Y/N) was taken aback as she never saw Levi like this. "Levi... " (Y/N) tried to say but her voice was raspy as her throat was dry. Without saying any more, (Y/N), extended a hand towards his, held his hand gently, trying to make him feel better. "Can I hold...it?" Levi muttered, as he got some grip on himself after (Y/N) held his hand. "Oi Levi! Don't call your own son it!" Hanji exclaimed. "Hanji, let him be. I'm sure he's having a hard time processing it all. I am too." (Y/N) told Hanji, her voice still raspy. The nurse helped to take the baby from (Y/N)'s arms and gave it to Levi, teaching how to hold the baby.

The baby simply stared at Levi, as if he was hugely disappointed with the fact that he was taken from his mother. Levi just stared at the baby for a few moments. He had a family now. He found someone who gave him the reason to live on and now he has a child, someone who he could give the good childhood he never got. Hesitantly, Levi placed a light kiss on the baby's forehead, surprising the whole group of people in the room, not surprising (Y/N) too much as she saw Levi showing emotions before. (Y/N) just smiled, knowing that the man before her was at peace.

They both were at peace. Her dreams came true. She now has a family. The both of them finally found happiness. "You guys, I'll contact the Reeves company and get meat for you all. Sasha, you will be cooking and arranging everything at my house. I'll pay for everything." Levi told everyone, looking at them with a small smile on his face. "M-meat? You will buy meat for us?" Sasha stammered before shouting out, "HEICHOU! YOU ARE THE BEST SQUAD LEADER ANYONE CAN POSSIBLY GET!" while crying like a maniac. Everyone else looked happy and thanked Levi for the treat.

"Guys, get out now. I need some rest" (Y/N) stated after a while. Everyone already took turns to hold the baby and Levi proved to be an overprotective father, as he inspected everyone as they took the baby and snapped at Connie when he made a mistake trying to hold the baby. No one wanted to leave though, as the baby was just too cute to leave alone. After some groans of disappointment, they all left. All except Levi.

"What will we name him?" (Y/N) asked him. She didn't want to bring the topic up in front of the others as she didn't want their contribution in this matter. "What about Farlan?" Levi answered after thinking for a moment. "Sure. It's a nice name. Farlan Ackerman sounds good." (Y/N) answered with a smile. The baby was asleep on the cot beside the bed. Levi looked at him and sighed. "Yeah. It sounds nice" He answered, a small smile forming on his face. He then walked towards (Y/N), patted her head gently and said, "Take some rest. I'll be back soon. I'll have to take a nap myself.". That's when (Y/N) noticed how tired he looked. Levi was used to being sleep deprived. That's not what tired him. What tired him was the amount of tension he went through for the last 11 hours. He very much needed a nap.

(Y/N) was woken by the sound of the door of the cabin opening. She had a sound sleep as the nurses took care of Farlan except for the times when he had to be fed. (Y/N) noticed that it was already evening as she saw the orange light coming from the window into the room. It was Pixis who just entered the room. Of course, it didn't surprise (Y/N). After what he did on her wedding, she came to acknowledge the fact that Pixis was completely unpredictable.

"I see that I have a grandchild now." Pixis stated with a smirk. "Yes. That part was obvious." (Y/N) replied with a stoic expression. "Don't be so bland (Y/N). I'm just here to see the baby. I haven't seen many new-borns in my lifetime." Pixis answered as he walked towards the cot. "Did you ever see me when I was a baby?" (Y/N) asked in return. Pixis stopped in front of the cot and answered, "No. I didn't.". He tried to hide it but his voice showed some remorse and so, (Y/N) didn't further question him. "His eyes look a lot like Levi. What's his name?" Pixis asked (Y/N), as he looked at the sleeping baby. "Farlan" (Y/N) answered. "Ah I see." Pixis answered. Before he could say anything more, Levi entered the room.

He just came back after getting the best sleep of his life as he felt like the happiest person on earth. However, seeing Pixis there worried him. That guy abandoned (Y/N) after all. "Should I give you some privacy?" he asked (Y/N) as he figured that (Y/N) would like to talk to Pixis alone. After all, their relationship was worse than just shaky and Levi thought that him being there would just make things more awkward. "No it's fine. You can stay" (Y/N) answered. After Levi entered the room, Pixis told him, "Congratulations on being a father" with a smile.

"Thank you." Levi answered curtly. The baby was awake by now as Pixis picked him up. "So, we all will pretend as if we are one big happy family?" Levi asked Pixis, raising an eyebrow. After all, the last thing Levi expected was that he would see Pixis holding his son. "Whatever helps him sleep at night" (Y/N) scoffed. To that Pixis let out a brief laugh before saying, "No wonder you're my daughter. However, you've got the sharp tongue of your mother...". At that, (Y/N) stopped him and said, "Don't compare me to that foul woman." with a frown.

"Okay. I won't. Anyway, I will have to take my leave now. And Levi, everyone likes to play family at some point. I won't deny that I'm the reason for which (Y/N) had a horrible life but we can't change that now can we?" Pixis answered before keeping Farlan in the cot and leaving the room. "Are you okay (Y/N)?" Levi asked (Y/N) as he didn't know how (Y/N) felt about the whole thing. "Yeah I'm fine. I personally don't accept him as my father but I'm glad that Farlan will probably have a grandfather. At this point, the only thing I care about is Farlan's happiness as I already found mine" (Y/N) told him with a smile.

1 month and a week later

(Y/N) made certain errors in her prediction from 6 months ago. She had her delivery a week before it was predicted. Farlan however, was healthier than ever. She also took more than a month to recover. A month and half to be exact. Thus, the expedition had to be delayed for a week. Levi didn't even have to push Hanji about it because Hanji figured out how long (Y/N) would actually take to recover a few weeks after she gave birth. She made all the arrangements for the delay of the expeditions by then much to (Y/N)'s disappointment. She however couldn't complain later when she really took a week more to recover. That gave them two weeks to eradicate all titans left in Wall Maria.

Hundreds of titans were killed using the executioner from hell before winter. The plan was that there would be two expeditions. Each with 3 days worth of supply. The survey corps would be divided into two groups. One would be travelling from Trost, eastwards, facing every titan on the way and travelling in groups, 2 squads in each, to attract the titans till they reach Utopia. The other would be travelling from Utopia, westwards till they reach Trost. The only two strategists capable of leading a team if something went terribly wrong were Hanji and (Y/N), with Hanji clearly being better than (Y/N) due to her longer experience in battle. Thus, it was decided that (Y/N), along with Levi's experience, would lead the group from Trost while Hanji would lead the group from Utopia.

The Survey corps had 201 members by now, Levi squad having an extra. The usual squad had 5 members including the squad leader. 20 squads would be there on each group. The formation would be such that every group of two squads would be 10 km apart from eachother. If something went wrong with the formation, red smoke signals would be used. (Y/N) squad and Levi squad, partnered with two other squads, would be positioned in the middle of the formation so that they could immediately run to help if any other squad is harmed. It would, however, take about an hour to get the formation done as the distance between wall Maria and Wall Rose is 100 km and survey corps horses could run at a speed of 80km/hr. Levi squad will give Armin to Hanji squad so that the other team could use the strength they are lacking due to the absence of either one of Levi, (Y/N) or a titan shifter, given that, Armin was the most powerful titan shifter on the team.

Thus, the team from Trost would have a hundred members while the team from Utopia would have a hundred and one. The survival rate this time, would only be a 50% however as everyone is expected to charge straight at the titans instead of running.

"You all will be using your 3DMG to go and get all the dummies cut. However, from today till the expedition, you'll all be competing against (Y/N) here. If any of you can get around the forest before her, congratulations, you stand a chance against her if she just got out of a delivery. If any of you gets tangled in your own wire again, I swear I'll kick you out of the survey corps." Levi lectured all the cadets. (Y/N) joined them as planned today, so that she can brush up her training. The last night, Levi personally took (Y/N) to check if she can use 3DMG, and (Y/N) surprised him.

She was almost as good as before her pregnancy leave. Sure, she was still rough around some edges, her movements weren't as flawless as it was before, her speed decreased noticeably too but she still was better than all recruits combined. All the cadets were greatly interested in watching (Y/N) in action. (Y/N) was the only person in the entire Survey corps who's 3DMG skills were comparable to Levi's. Everyone knew that and as the new recruits never saw (Y/N) in action, competing her seemed like a very good sport to them. Defeating (Y/N) meant coming second to the strongest in humanity. Levi squad and (Y/N) squad however knew that it wasn't possible. "Everyone, assume positions!" Levi commanded and everyone ran to the line drawn in front of the forest. They all stood in line, ready to take off. "And go!" Levi instructed and everyone took off.

The new recruits were surprised to see (Y/N) getting way ahead of everyone at a speed that was impossible for them to reach. "What the hell? She isn't even using too much gas..." one of the recruits exclaimed. (Y/N) was out of their sight in no time and as they found the dummies, every one of them had a perfect slice cut off it's nape. There were 16 dummies in total. It took the others 30 minutes to find and cut down every single one of them and getting out while (Y/N) did the same in 13 minutes. Levi squad and (Y/N) squad took 25 minutes while Mikasa took 18. "Good work out there." Levi told (Y/N) as she flew out of the forest. "Well, I usually am faster than that." (Y/N) answered, as she got her blades in the sheathes in the 3DMG. "Yes. I know that. If you didn't just have a delivery last month, I'd have been disappointed." Levi answered to that. (Y/N) just gave a "mhhm" for reply before she spoke again.

"I'm not so sure if leaving Farlan with Hanji was a good idea..." (Y/N) muttered. "Well, he'll be fine." Levi answered casually. "Are you sure about that? Hanji did try to make him walk at the age of three weeks for her experiments... " (Y/N) muttered remembering the time when Hanji tried to test if Levi's genetics had something that made them become physically developed more easily than others given that all the other known ackermans, Kenny and Mikasa, had good fighting abilities. Of course, Hanji's experiments didn't work and Farlan got hurt and cried, which sounded more angry than pained, thus scaring Hanji to death as Levi gave Hanji a death glare once it happened. After all, Levi did try to kill a commander before.

5 days later

"Hanji, the milk is in the cupboard in the kitchen with the bottle. Boil the bottle before feeding Farlan. The nappies, shirts and blankets are in the third drawer in the wardrobe of mine and Levi's room. If Farlan wets himself, just take anything from there. I kept everything packed in a bag which is also in the wardrobe so that you can bring it when you come to the headquarters. And Hanji, don't try to do any experiments. I'm trusting you on this." (Y/N) explained Hanji. "You explained all of that to me every single day of this week you know." Hanji mentioned in a flat tone. "Well, I was just reminding you..." (Y/N) started before Hanji stopped her and said in a light tone, "Come on (Y/N)! I literally lead the survey corps! Farlan will be fine. Don't worry so much.". "Yeah... I guess I'm a bit too paranoid... Thanks for all the help Hanji." (Y/N) answered with a smile. "Yeah yeah I know. You'll be late for training if you keep trying to remind me stuff now. So, get out." Hanji pushed (Y/N) out of the house.

(Y/N) POV

When I reached the survey corps headquarter and walked in the training grounds, Levi was already there. "You're late. You're doing 50 laps after training." he told me with a frown. Yes, I obviously never got special treatment from him in case of work related matters. I appreciated it though as our personal lives shouldn't interfere with work. The female cadets looked happy with the fact that I got laps. Well, it doesn't matter. It isn't like they have the guts to make a move on Levi. "Well, assume positions now. I'll be following you all." Levi commanded everyone. I joined everyone in front of the starting line. "And go!" Levi instructed as we all shot forward.

"Make as less moves as possible. Preserve gas. Find the locations of the dummies and cut them." my mind kept repeating as I sped towards the forest. The slightest movements caught my attention as some recruits were left to move the dummies. One, two, three... My mind counted as I kept making perfect cuts on every dummy. Just as I landed outside the forest, I found no one. Of course, Levi mentioned that he will be following us in the next training exercise. He probably is with the other recruits.

After about 20 more minutes, everyone else appeared with Levi. Levi looked at me, his eyes showing appreciation. "You reached your previous records. Your moves are as good as before now. Good job." he complimented before turning to the new recruits and saying, "You all couldn't improve any more than 30 minutes in six fucking months and she did the same fucking job in 11 minutes by a week after having a delivery about a month and half ago. This is why I don't train brats like you all. I don't know how Shadis keeps his cool with you all.". He said all of that calmly with a stoic expression but the girls in the group almost started crying already. Levi then turned to my squad and his own squad and said, "You all did okay. There's still room for improvement though.". They all saluted and Levi motioned them to be at ease before looking at me and saying, "Well, what are you waiting for? Go get the laps done."

2 hours and 30 minutes later

I finally was done with the laps. Hanji came by with Farlan and saw me doing laps in the training grounds. 400 meters each lap. About 20 km. "And here I thought shorty was getting soft..." Hanji shook her head as she ran beside me carrying Farlan when she found me. "Well, he honestly got softer than before. I remember him shouting at me back when I took a minute to get a dummy down. Now he's saying his squad that they did a good job after they took 25 minutes to get 16 dummies." I answered. No wonder they weren't improving.

I went to my office to get the extra uniform I usually keep there incase if the one I'm wearing gets dirty. With that, I went to the female bathrooms and took a bath, changed my uniform, went to my office to grab the stack of paperwork Hanji told me that she would leave in my office and went for Levi's office. I knocked on his door and heard his voice saying, "State your name and business.". "It's (Y/N)." I answered. "Come in" I heard his voice, now sounding softer and went in his office. His table had three stacks of paperwork, his face showing the stress that he was on. I sat down with my own stack and started working silently, helping Levi with his paperwork sometimes while he helped me with mine. When I was done, he still had two stacks to complete. I looked at him, he looked tired. Thus, I got up, walked towards his chair and went under the table.

Back when I was about 6 months pregnant, I had this phase when I was horny all the time and that's when I found out that getting a blowjob while he's working calms Levi down when he has to do a lot of paperwork. Thus, this little tradition started where I helped him out every time I saw him struggling with work. I heard a sigh of content from him as I took his dick in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it's tip. I felt his hand on my hair, gently pushing me on his length. I didn't give him the chance to guide me as I started going all out on him, taking all of his length in my mouth and bobbing my head on it, my tongue working at it's tip the entire time. The gentle touch on my hair turned into a harsh grab as Levi took control, making my movements even faster.

I heard Levi's breathing getting disoriented and suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I stopped my assault on his dick so that he could answer the door without having any distractions. "State name and business" I heard him say with a flat monotone voice. He had this way of keeping his body entirely under control, which fascinated me to bits. "It's Cadet Schwarz. I need to talk to you, heichou." I heard Marie's voice. What is that girl upto? "Come in" Levi answered as I heard the door open and her footsteps coming into the room.

"Schwarz, the last time you were in my office, as much as I can recall, (Y/N) gave you a warning about your attire. Why are you violating the dress code again?" I heard Levi ask her. That's it. I know very well what she's trying to do. I'd have to write a report against her and probably give her a talk about backing off from my husband. "Heichou, I will get straight into point. I only joined the survey corps for you. When I heard that they were taking members in the Special operations squad, I thought it was your squad. However, I wasn't lucky enough and ended up in hers. Heichou, I can keep you much happier than she ever can. Just..." Levi stopped her before she said anything more.

"Listen, what you're doing is highly inappropriate. I'm a married man and I'm in a happy marriage. I even have a kid. Even if I wasn't married, I would never leave (Y/N) for anyone. So, I'll tell this to you for the last time, stop embarrassing yourself." Levi answered, in a stoic voice. "Is that right heichou? Then why does your face look so flustered? You know what heichou? You can be with your wife. She doesn't have to know what happens behind closed doors..." Marie continued. I quietly stuffed Levi's penis in his pants and started buttoning him up when I heard Levi's surprised and slightly disgusted voice saying, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?". To that, Marie replied, "I'm just trying to show you exactly what got you so flustered. Isn't that what you...".

"Enough" I spoke up, stopping Marie. I got up from under the table and Marie clearly understood why Levi was flustered after seeing my messy hair. "Marie, go to my office. We need to discuss your expulsion from the survey corps." I told her with a cold tone. "Expulsion? But I haven't broken any rules. By the way, isn't the commander the only person who can expel someone from the survey corps? You can't do that!" Marie scoffed. It was time to put her in her place. "Well, if you don't trust me on this, you can ask Levi if I was nominated to be the commander of the survey corps only a few months ago." I told her, my tone getting colder by the second.

Marie looked at Levi and Levi simply answered, "She's right. See, I told you to stop this bullshit. Even if (Y/N) didn't take actions, I would have.". "Actions? But I haven't broken any rule!.." I stopped her at that and told her, "Marie, five buttons of your shirt are opened. You just ignored a direct warning from a superior. If you think I didn’t write a report on you violating the dress code before, you are wrong. Of course, that alone can't get you kicked out of the survey corps but I also have further complains against you, which we will discuss in my office. So, go.". "No! I refuse to go!" Marie made a bitch face at me.

"You refuse to go? Well, you see, unfortunately as long as you are a survey corps soldier, I will be your superior. You will have to follow my orders or else the consequences would be severe." I told her in a commanding voice as she retreated from the office. "Thanks for having my back, Levi." I told him as he looked at me with worry. "No, it's fine. Just don't kill her." he told me, his eyes showing suspicion. "Don't worry. I won't kill her. I'll just ruin her career." I answered before getting out of Levi's office and going to mine.

Marie was already in the office. "Well, let's discuss your insubordination." I told her before sitting on my chair. "Sit down. You'd prefer not to fall on the floor after I tell you the few things I'm about to say." I told her, motioning to the chair in front of me. She sat and I started. "Do you know what happened to the last person who tried to take Levi from me?" I asked her. She looked uncomfortable at this point as she knew that I had her cornered. "No?" she answered.

"Her name was Petra Ral. She died on the 57th expedition. The female titan stomped on her. Surprisingly, the female titan was able to do that in my presence. The next expedition is coming soon and who knows, maybe you would be eaten by a titan too and I wouldn't be able to save you." I stopped. I saw her face losing colours. Just the reaction I wanted to see.

"You see, as your superior, I had to report every time you almost got the squad killed to the commander. The commander herself questioned your worth and I have been defending you for the whole time. However, it seems like you aren't fit to be in the survey corps anyway, even if I don't consider the fact that you tried to fuck my husband. Honestly, I shouldn't be telling you all these. I should just let you die on the next expedition. You just proved to me how worthless you are today.

However, ever since Farlan was born, I couldn't shake this feeling off me. I don't want to make your family suffer. I know how your mother would feel if you die. So, I would give you a second option. If I talk to the commander and expel you from the survey corps, that would be the end of your career in the military. If I don't do anything, you will die. If you give me a letter asking for a transfer to the Garrison or the Military police, your career would be saved, you would live and I could keep you out of my relationship. Now, go back to your room and decide what you want. I will be expecting a letter from you. You're dismissed." I explained to her in my monotone voice. With that, she left the room without a word. I rested my head on the head rest of the chair. "Fuck.. Farlan really changed everything..." I wondered. After all, I didn't feel like the cold hearted person I was anymore.

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

#levi smut #levi aot #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #captain levi #levi ackerman

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