#actually I’m lying I thought you fuckers we’re insane
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Dawg imagine being a new ghost fan like “oh cool I like this kinda anti church Satan band, I wonder if they have any kind of fandom?” And then you see us posting about morally dubious mind control and debating if you can put a dick in gills
#idk how I just was like yeah sure that’s normal when I first found yall#actually I’m lying I thought you fuckers we’re insane#I was reading like vanilla Swiss dew fics for months and that was it#and then the dews bloody guitar incident happened#and … yeah … I realized some things#I blame st dangers hybrid slinky fic for who I am today
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Don’t You Die on Me | Roman Sionis x Male!Reader
"I was wondering if I could get 18 & 19 with Roman Sionis? Male reader comes across a deal going bad (could be a roman deal or some random person, guns get pulled) they try to diffuse the situation, chaos ensues, someone who works with Rom finds them and rushes them to a personal doctor or hospital, and Roman and reader have an angsty moment, make up, soft ending?" anon
A/N: I really hope this is to your liking, anon! Thanks for the request!
summary; You witness one of Roman’s meetings go badly and try to de-escalate, which had the opposite effect and got you a bullet wound in your abdomen.
notes; TW // Hospital; Violence; Bullet/Gunshot Wound; Injury; Flesh Wound; Implied Murder; No graphic depictions of anything, though. Male!Reader; Hurt/Comfort; Angst; Love Confessions; Anxiety.
Despite knowing that Roman didn't want you downstairs at the club when he was having a meeting, you went anyway. Not because you wanted to disobey him necessarily, but because you needed to ask him something that couldn't wait until he was done. You tried texting Zsasz about it, but since he took watching over Roman so seriously, he didn't see it. So you decided to come down.
When you've reached the club's backstage, you could already hear raised, strained voices and Roman's signature tone of 'If you say one more thing that I don't like, I will blow your brains out'.
Even though your instincts told you to turn on your heels and wait till it was all over, you continued on, until you've almost reached the booth they sat in.
You came closer, and that's where it slowly but surely started to escalate.
Not really thinking about it, you wanted to diffuse the situation. In retrospect, you couldn't possibly say what has driven you to do that. Perhaps it was your worry for Roman, even though you knew he was in good and capable hands with Zsasz, and himself.
Yet, you thought it smart to stir away the man's, who he was conversing with, attention from Roman as you saw a gun glint in his hand under the table.
Chuckling nervously, you touched the man's shoulder, his back was turned to you. "Excuse me? I really don't think you should do that, y'know?" Your voice was gentle, you sounded like you were asking him for directions, rather than putting down the weapon.
"What the fuck?" The man looked at you, his faced twisted in confusion; then he jerked your hand away, turning back to Roman. "What the fuck's this supposed to mean, huh? You fucker! Don't try to-"
"Oh, shut the fuck up, you stupid fake fucking fuck! Zsasz!" Roman snarled, twirling his finger for Zsasz to escort the man out.
Promptly, the other businessman stood up and pointed his gun right between Roman's eyes, who barely even flinched at the sight.
Your heart rate had picked up even more than before. You were so anxious that something was going to happen to Roman, you really didn't think about your poor decision making anymore.
So, you grabbed onto the man's arm and pulled it down and towards yourself, the gun pointing to your abdomen.
Then a deafening loud BANG rang through the club.
Suddenly, it was quiet. No one moved. No one seemed to even breathe, even though you could feel your chest rise and fall quickly.
You slid to the floor, your body not supporting you anymore. As you let go of the culprit, he made a run for it. You could hear it, and as quick as he started, he was stopped. Several gun shots rang through the club in quick succession and then a dull thud, though it sounded crushingly loud in your ears.
"Fuck! Don't just stand around, for fuck's sake! You! Call the fucking doctor, tell him we're coming in with a bullet wound. And you! Clean up this fucking mess." Roman was barking out orders, you barely registered any of it.
Faintly, you could feel yourself being shifted around, lying on your back on the floor, instead of slumping weirdly against the booth. Then there was pressure on your stomach. You knew it hurt, but you didn't flinch or really feel it, as you brain was struggling to keep up.
Suddenly, Roman's face was in yours. He looked mad, concerned, and anxious all at once. Only he could display so many different emotions in only one face.
He was patting your cheek quite hard, as you lost focus. "Stay with me, baby," he murmured.
It was hard to, but you tried.
"You better not fucking die on me. Especially not when you've done something so stupid. You hear me?" You made a gurgling sound in the back of your throat. "Fuck! C'mon, sweet boy. Now's not the time. 'Kay? Not now. I promise you, I will hunt your fucking ass down and kill you myself if you decide to fucking die."
Then you were lifted up by someone, not Roman, but one of his men. He carried you bridal style outside, Roman close by, holding onto your hand. You were laid down on the backseat of a car, your legs draped over Roman's thighs, who sat there with you, keeping one hand linked with yours, loosely, and the other continued to put pressure on your injury, where someone must have wrapped it up already to put constant pressure on it.
You couldn't remember much past being in the car. It was all a rush and a blur. All you knew was that you were in a hospital bed now, hooked to monitors and an IV bag of what was probably morphine. The other thing you knew was that Roman was lying beside you, his arms loosely wrapped around your middle, above your injury, and his head on your chest. Usually that was your position, but nothing was usual about your current situation.
Lying there and remembering what has gotten you there, you winced in embarrassment. You were so fucking stupid for trying to do something about the situation at hand in the club. Fuck, Roman must have been enraged. He probably still was.
Briefly, Roman's arms around you tightened and then loosened again, as he stirred. He had been asleep then, apparently.
You desperately wanted to make a noise or move to let him know that you were awake, but you couldn't do anything. It was like you were frozen in place. Part of you was scared it wasn't real, that it would all vanish the moment you tried to make it real. Another part of you also just didn't want to face Roman after such a stupid fucking action.
Promptly though, he lifted his head and looked at you. You looked right back at him.
Palpable relief washed over Roman, lifting his features from a frown into surprise and fondness.
"You're awake," he croaked, his voice still thick and broken from sleep.
Stiffly, you gave him a small, barely there, nod.
Roman leaned up and pressed a kiss to your lips. It spoke volumes of how worried he must have actually been. He kissed you again and again, barely able to stop at all. It felt strange to you, to know that you were the reason he felt anxious about something.
Soon enough, though, he stopped kissing you over and over again, and leaned back, propping himself up on his arm that was placed on the mattress. Then he frowned at you.
"Are you fucking insane? You could have been fucking killed! Don't do that again! Fuck!" His voice broke on every other word, rising in octaves as he went on and you felt a stab in your chest.
You wanted to reply something, but as you were clearing your throat, you noticed how utterly dry it was and how it hurt.
Roman looked at you, breathing heavily with agitation. Then he realised that you wanted something and what it was. He leaned over to the bedside table on his side and grabbed an ice chip, putting it between your lips.
"Don't worry about fucking replying, 'kay? I'm sure you know how fucking stupid this was of you. And I already know that you're sorry. I can see it in your eyes," he rasped, kissing your forehead.
Then he stretched his arm to push a button, calling the doctor, as he explained by your questioning look. After that he lied down beside you again, his head back on your chest. You sighed quietly.
"Don't ever do that again. Please." That was a first. Roman never said 'please' or 'thank you'. "The next time you won't be this lucky. I don't want to have to fucking bury you, 'kay?” A pause. “When the doctor's checked you over, you'll need to rest again, I'm sure. I'll stay here, waiting for you."
A tear found its way out of your eye, running down the side of your face and into your hair. The ice chip has dissolved by then and while your throat didn't feel much better, you were sure to explode if you didn't say anything.
"I love you, Roman. I'm sorry, thank you," you croaked, a sob tearing from your raw throat.
He kissed your chest softly. "I adore you, too, my sweet boy."
#tw violence#tw murder#tw gun violence#tw hospital#tw injury#x male reader#x male!reader#male reader#male reader insert#roman sionis#roman sionis x male reader#roman sionis x you#roman sionis fanfiction#roman sionis imagine#ewan mcgregor#ewan mcgregor x male!reader#ewan mcgregor x reader#ewan mcgregor fanfiction#ewan mcgregor imagine
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I decided to mess with the incorrect quote generator with 6 characters from book of mario king of kami and before I knew it I had a fuck ton of text so lets go
Also I like to hink these are cannon because it gives personalities to characters that apeared once or twice and gives insight on others
maria: Time for plan G.
bolivia : Don’t you mean plan B?
maria: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Hampton : What about plan D?
maria: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Barney one: What about plan E?
maria: I’m hoping not to use it. Belize dies in plan E.
Ptricio : I like plan E.
maria: Hewwo.
Bolivia : Hihiiiiii!
Hampton : Greetings, Humans.
Belize : Three kinds of people.
Barney one: I want pudding.
maria: Four kinds of people.
Ptricio : WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?
Belize : Five kinds of people.
maria: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Bolivia : >:O language
Hampton : Yeah watch your fucking language
Barney one: OKAY WHO TAUGHT HAMPTON THE FUCK WORD?
Belize : 'The fuck word'.
Ptricio : Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Hampton : Oh my god they censored it
Belize : Say fuck, Ptricio .
Hampton : Do it, Ptricio . Say fuck.
maria: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Bolivia : What if it bites me and it dies!?
Hampton : Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Bolivia , learn to listen.
Barney one: What if it bites itself and I die?
Belize : That’s voodoo.
Ptricio : What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Bolivia : That’s correlation, not causation.
Barney one: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Belize : That’s kinky.
maria: Oh my God.
maria: You're a loose cannon, Bolivia .
Bolivia : No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Hampton : I think you play by your own rules.
Barney one: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.
maria: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Bolivia : No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Belize is a loose cannon.
Belize : *smashes a chair*
maria: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Bolivia : Have everyone stand.
Hampton : Bring three more chairs!
Barney one: The most important ones can sit down.
Belize : Kill three.
maria: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Hampton will and will not eat.
Bolivia : Grass? Yes!
maria: Moss? Yes!!
Bolivia : Leaves? Ohh, yes!
maria: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Bolivia : Worms? Sometimes!
maria: Rocks? Usually nah.
Bolivia : Twigs? Usually!
maria: Belize 's cooking? Inconclusive!
Barney one: How did you… test this?
maria: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.
Barney one: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.
Belize : IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
maria: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Bolivia : 'Prettiest Smile'
Hampton : 'Nicest Personality'
Barney one: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Belize : 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
maria: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Bolivia : Tubular AF!
Hampton : Mood to the max!
Barney one, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Belize , just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.
maria: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Bolivia : Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Belize : Socks are Feetie Heaties
Barney one: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
Bolivia : Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Belize : Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Barney one: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Hampton , annoyed: You are disappointments
maria: Anyone d-
Bolivia : Depressed?
Hampton : Drained?
Barney one: Dumb?
Belize : Disliked?
maria: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...
maria: What does 'take out' mean?
Bolivia : Food.
Hampton : Dating
Barney one: Murder
Belize : IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
maria, trying to convince Belize to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Bolivia : And loud!
Hampton : And grumpy!
Barney one: And oblivious to reality!
Belize :
maria: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!
Barney one: To the city?
maria: Yeah, no matter what!
Belize : Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?
maria: I... I don't know!
Bolivia : Oh come off it, be serious!
maria: I am serious!
Bolivia : You're insane!
Hampton : Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!
Everyone:
maria: What???
Hampton : Or maybe it was a basset hound!
Bolivia , panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!
maria: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Bolivia : This knife is actually a magic wand.
Hampton : Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.
Barney one: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Belize : What the fuck is wrong with you people.
maria: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Bolivia : It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
maria: Three of us saw it, Bolivia . How do you explain that?
Bolivia : *points at Hampton * Sleep deprivation. *points at Barney one* Paranoia. *points at Belize * Delusional personality disorder.
maria: Good morning.
Bolivia : Good morning.
Hampton : Good morning.
Barney one: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Belize : MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
maria: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Bolivia : ... Your what?
maria: My friends.
Hampton : Are they saying “friends”?
Barney one: I think they're being sarcastic.
Belize : No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, maria! All of your friends are in this room.
maria: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
maria: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
maria and Bolivia , in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Hampton : Our turn, Belize! One, two, three- vanilla!
Belize, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
maria: Yo is Belize sleeping or dead?
Bolivia : Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Hampton : Yeah, so did I.
Belize: Okay first of all, fuck you-
maria: Bolivia isn’t answering their phone
Hampton : I’ll call
maria: Belize and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Bolivia : Hello?
maria: Listen, I can explain...
Bolivia : You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?
Hampton : You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!
Belize: You guys are getting paid?
maria: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Bolivia : Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
maria: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING HAMPTON WITH ME
Belize, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
maria: You know those things will kill you, right?
Bolivia , pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Hampton , smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Belize: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
maria: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Bolivia : Not if they consent to it.
Hampton : Depends who you’re stabbing.
Belize: YES?!?
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
maria: Shit.
Bolivia : Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Hampton : OH MY GOD BELIZE FELL OFF!!!
maria: Dammit, Bolivia !
Bolivia : What?! It wasn’t me!
maria: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Hampton !
Hampton : Not me either.
maria: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Belize: *whistles*
maria: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Bolivia : What?
Hampton : That you're a child.
Belize: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
*maria is cooking*
Bolivia : Any chance that’s for me?
maria: It’s for Belize. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.
Hampton : I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
maria: Tonight, one of you will betray us.
Bolivia : Is it me, maria?
maria: No, it’s not you.
Hampton : Is it me, maria?
maria: It’s not you either.
Belize: Is it me, maria?
maria:
maria, mockingly: Is IT mE maria?
maria: Truth or dare?
Bolivia : Dare
maria: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Bolivia : Hey Hampton
Hampton , blushing: Yeah?
Bolivia : Could you move? I’m trying to get to Belize
maria: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Bolivia : In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Hampton ?
Hampton : Probably “road work ahead”.
Belize: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
maria: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Bolivia : Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Hampton : There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-
maria: Hampton and I are having a baby.
Bolivia : That's gre-
maria, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
maria: I told Bolivia their ears flush when they lie.
Belize: Why?
maria: Look.
maria: Hey Bolivia ! Do you love us?
Bolivia , covering their ears: No.
Belize:
maria: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Bolivia : Alright.
maria: TraitorSayWhat?
Belize: Excuse me?
maria: What?
Bolivia :
maria:
maria: No wait-
#mario#funny#paper mario#bolivia#book of mario#barbie the bob omb#mary#bunddle#1000 infernal air sleeves#incorrect quotes#lore#ptricio#belize#barney one
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Do you have a HC on angel/demon bodies in the Lucifer universe? Like, it seems that the goddess never her own physical body based on what Maze said about when she was in hell. And we know that demons possess humans, but do you think they have their own bodies as well? If they have their own do they leave them behind when possessing? Do you think Maze’s form is her own or did Lucifer allow her to possess a recently deceased human so that she could accompany him to Earth? What about angels?
oh my god i have so many thoughts on this i dont even know how to structure this post, literally this is me rn
post under the cut because yet again this bitch be ramblin
ok so, starting with the celestials
GOD
I’m not gonna elaborate too much on God, because I’m in the middle of writing a fic which elaborates on how I see his body/physical shape working and it would spoil a twist. But a few non-spoilery thoughts:
- God and Goddess are completely different species, from different universes
- God is - as far as he knows - the last of his kind. The universe he was born in was destroyed by a massive war; his species are naturally peaceful and he had no part in it.
- His species are immensely powerful; he can cross between universes with ease as an adult, and the ability to create universes is a species talent, not an individual one. They can all do it. They live for billions upon billions of years in deep space, so that’s how they pass the time.
- He’s naturally telepathic. Goddess is not at all, and the angels inherit this from him but only to a very minor degree - they can sense when another angel is in the area, but can’t actually perceive one another’s thoughts.
- He doesn’t originally look like us. Not in the slightest. But changing his shape is very easy for him, and he is capable of “modifying” his own internal biology, so he can and does choose to take a human shape - having hands with which to manipulate objects is useful when you’re no longer living in deep space, and being able to communicate verbally is useful when you’re the only major telepath in your (very large) family.
GODDESS
- Goddess does have a solid, physical form, and she actually has our basic shape too. “Two arms, two legs, a head and a body to hang them on” is a popular evolutionary route in her native universe.
- Humans and demons, however, don’t have the right eye equipment to see her properly. Humans see in three dimensions, demons in one or two more, but neither species has enough perceivable dimensions or colours to actually make sense of Goddess’ true form. We see her as a blur of light, because that’s all of her that’s visible to us. We’re actually only able to see like, 30% of her and it makes our brains freak out some.
- Lucifer knows this, but neglected to mention it to Maze when she was torturing Goddess in Hell. He did nothing to defend her when God kicked her out, because he’s smarting over her abandoning him, but at the end of the day she’s his mom and he loves her. He’s the only one in Hell who can see her properly and interact with her physical form, and there’s no way he’s going to actively participate in his mother’s torture.
THE ANGELS
Now, I believe “canon” says that the angels were created as adults, but fuck that, because baby angels.
- The angels were created with wings, but they don’t get their first feathers until they’re toddling, so they’re like weird little naked birds for a bit.
- They moult every few hundred years while they’re still growing, and they don’t get sharp primaries until they have their adult feathers. Once they’re fully grown, they won’t moult again, but they’ll grow new feathers if the ones they have fall out or are damaged.
- No one actually knows how long their lifespans are. No angel has ever died of natural causes. But they’re long. The angels Chloe knows are archangels, the oldest, and even though they’re physically full-grown adults they’re barely out of celestial puberty. Tom Ellis plays Lucifer as having the emotional maturity and worldview of a teenager. Amenadiel is the overtired early-20-something having to live away from home for the first time.
- Their abilities are genetic - they were born with them and have a chance of passing them on to any nephilim they create - and they start manifesting around the toddler stage.
- The toddler stage is fun, actually. Way worse than the terrible twos for humans. Their first set of feathers come in which is itchy, they’re teething, they can talk enough to be defiant, they’re climbing up/falling off everything, their powers start developing, they’re clingy, and the tantrums are spectacular.
meanwhile, in hell
in my headcanon, hell is home to three classes of demons:
ELDRITCH DEMIGODS
- the oldest, most dangerous and rarest creatures in Hell. They did not create the dimension Hell is located in, but they did shape the landscape and were the original rulers of the dimension.
- the original users of what demons call magic. lucifer learned some of this during his time in hell - illusions, levitating his pentecostal coin, his desire ability, the fine art of binding someone with a deal and get yourself out of any situation with a loophole.
- the eldritches feature prominently in my fic but have absolutely nothing (as far as I know) to do with canon - the only reason I’m including them here is because my personal headcanon is that Lucifer’s angelic gift is his light. His “hypno eye thing” is something he learned while he was in Hell. he wasn’t lying with what he said to chloe - it’s a gift from a god, but not a gift from his father, god.
HELLBORN DEMONS
- these demons have no human DNA at all.
- they’re older than the lilim, and more physically powerful, but they’re less adept at magic (glamours, for example) and mind games.
- hellborn demons look nothing like humans. they might not be bipedal at all; leviathan is a giant sea serpent. spines, extra jaws, multiple sets of teeth, a ridiculous number of limbs, too many or too few joints, no eyes at all, exoskeletons etc are all perfectly normal demon traits.
- those that have eyes are red, yellow or black. my hc of hell is inspired by the very deep ocean though, so it’s just as common to have no eyes and a superior sense of smell, or electroreception, or sonar, instead.
- they can learn to glamour, but they still wouldn’t look right. there would be something subtly off about them, something in the mind of any human looking at them screaming at them to run. they’re the basis of those horror stories where someone looks just a little wrong; they don’t blink enough, or seem to have too many teeth, or they walk wrong.
- they’re more durable than lilim demons. short of a celestial, an eldritch or a bomb, nothing stops these fuckers. they can come back from insane injuries that would absolutely kill most life forms. if you leave one critically injured but don’t finish it off and make sure, chances are it won’t die. it’ll crawl off and recuperate and come back for you later.
THE LILIM
- the lilim are the descendents of lilith and, as such, they have human DNA. the closer their link to lilith, the more human they appear - maze, for example, is almost entirely human in appearance except for one half of her face. the more distant the link to lilith, the less human DNA they have, and the less human they appear.
- really common lilim traits: claws, fangs, scales, horns
- almost all lilim have the human body shape and facial features arrangement, so they’re bipedal with two eyes, a nose and a single mouth. yellow, red and black are all pretty standard demon eye colours, but lilith’s eyes are white and her children tend to inherit them. the more diluted her blood gets, the less likely a child will have her white eyes.
- with practice, the lilim can glamour their demon features and pass undetected among humans, unless they choose to reveal their real face. their physical strength, speed and heightened senses remain the same even under a glamour.
- because of their human ancestry, lilim demons don’t need to possess a dead human body. but it’s a lot more convenient. to leave Hell in your own body, you need to a) leave through the front gate and b) have a way of generating enough energy to shunt you across the divide between dimensions. for maze, this was lucifer; he carried her out of Hell. but she can’t return (or get out) without him. God, Goddess or any of the eldritch abominations would also have that level of power.
- plus, like. with a dead human body, you can take as much damage as you like or commit as many atrocities as you fancy and just change your body when you’re done. you don’t need to be careful of injury or worry about sustenance. and you don’t have to compete with anyone else in the same head, which is a vast improvement over possessing someone living.
#lucifer on netflix#lucifer on fox#mazikeen smith#lilith#lilim#lucifer in hell#nonsense headcanon rambling#these are subject to change depending on where the fuck this monster fic takes me#i rewrote this four times anon im sorry it took so long#lucifer headcanons
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Je ne te mérite pas (I don’t deserve you) EPILOGUE (end)
DeanxReader
Serie MASTERSILST
Warnings : Violence, swearing, Smut, unprotected sex (you are smarter than this), Fluffy fluff.
Words : 3k+
Chapter summary : Is the ring on his pocket going to convince Jody ?
gifs not mine, found on google
Dean’s Pov
My lungs are trying hard but breathing is impossible now ; and that ache in my throat is barely bearable. This vampire’s grip on my neck is so strong I know I won’t stay conscious long. My eyes land on her. She’s crying and screaming but I can’t hear her anymore, even if I can see how loud she yells.
My love.
Two vampires are holding her and she fights like a lion. But those fuckers are strong and twice the number we reckoned, they had a plan, we were reckless…
I don’t want to die.
I’m so happy. I’m so in love. For the first time in a very long time I really don’t want to die. Please Chuck, don’t let them hurt her.
Sammy wake up. Please Sam…
Everything is in slow motion now. The vampire continues talking to me but my entire mind is on her.
Let her go sons of bitches, you’re hurting her arms…
She’s crying. Please Baby don’t cry.
And suddenly something happens. A miracle maybe…
The vampire let go of me and falls on his knees. I take a deep painful breath and try to reach for my knife but the vampire starts to convulse and puke his own blood.
I land my eyes on Y/n.
Wow.
Her beautiful eyes are white and her hair floating like she was underwater. Her arms are reaching out toward me, hands open. She’s screaming like crazy, her mouth wide open, but it’s perfectly silent. All I can hear is the monster at my feet choking.
I can’t move. I look at her and the vampires that were keeping her still both take a step back and try to run. But Sam woke up, he cuts their heads off and run toward me. I’m frozen. Eyes on my girl, my love.
“Y/n !” Sam yells.
Her hair falls on her shoulders and her eyes take their sweet warm color back.
“Dean…” she sobs and I run to hold her in my arms before she faints.
______________________
Baby’s engine purrs gently. Sam’s looking at me, I can feel his stare. She’s still unconscious on the back seat but she looks so peaceful.
“Her powers are coming back…” Sammy finally says.
“I know” I state, looking at the road.
“You do ? You don’t seem so worried, I mean, you’re girlfriend is unconscious on the backseat of your car. You just, you just carried her here” he talks gesturing things with his hands. “ Have you ever seen her kill a monster with her mind ?”
“No” I admit. “See Sammy, since we’re together, she… Some weird things started to happen. She didn’t even notice at first. I thought I was going crazy but she visited me I my dreams Sammy… It wasn’t me dreaming of her, it was her coming to rescue me from my nightmares of hell, of purgatory, of dad…”
I check on her in the rear-view mirror. It’s time I talk to Sam, she’ll forgive me.
“One night I had trouble sleeping because of a wound on my chest, I had just accidentally rub it on the mattress and it hurt, so I was lying on my back, watching at the ceiling…” I half smile not really knowing why. “And Y/n, she turns and, still sound asleep, she puts her hand on the wound and start whining. Before I realize what’s happening, the pain goes away and she starts bleeding at the exact same place I was hurt an instant before. She literally took my pain Sammy… So I started questioning her about the nightmares, and she knew things, details she just couldn’t know if she hadn’t been there for real, in my bad memories… details from hell…”
Sam is listening carefully, he sighs.
“Why did you never talk to me ?” he asks.
“She wanted to talk to you herself. She’s terrified. She thinks she’s becoming a monster…”
“And what do you think ?” he asks.
“I love her. This last month have been the best of my life… So what my girlfriend has powers ? I mean, we live with Satan’s offspring and he’s a great kid. I don’t care what she can do, I’m glad even. I mean, the things she does, she saved me… again. I say she’s closer to be an angel than actual angels.”
“I think…” Sam says with a smile filled with emotions. “I think you’re healing her. She suffocated her powers out of trauma, right ? And now you two are together…”
I can’t help but smile at the idea that she’s so safe with me.
“Dean ?” she whispers weekly.
I park the Impala and silently ask my brother to drive, he nods with a smile.
She’s in my arms, talking to Sam, telling him she needs helps learning to control her powers and Sam is reassuring her. I don’t speak, I just keep her here, safe against me, my nose in her hair.
Each time he mentions the potential of her powers, I feel her shiver and I squeeze her tighter in my arms. She’s always so brave, but this terrifies her. I’m not going to leave her, ever, or to see her like a monster and she knows that, I told her a thousand times. Still, she’s been tortured for years because of what she was… And all this brings back the past, and her past is not just filled with pain, but with emptiness too. Her name doesn’t mean anything to her, she has no family…
That’s why I want to marry her, make her part of the family, make her a Winchester.
But first, we need to talk to Jody I guess.
Your Pov
Shit, this book is boring. You try to stay focused but it’s nearly impossible. You’ve always loved reading, and now that the bunker is your home, you swore you’ll read everything you could. You sigh again.
“You know you could skip that volume” Sam says, putting a coffee in front of you.
“Thank you Sammy. No I can’t, knowing all I can is part of this job”
“You know… the way you take hunting so seriously, I think you’re a real woman of letter…” he says with kindness.
“Yeah except I don’t torture people or show contempt for hunters.” I mutter taking a sip of my coffee.
Sammy sits next to you and starts to push my shoulder. You try to ignore him but he does it again and again, until you almost fall of my chair.
“Fu… Are you insane Winchester ?” you yell.
Since you made fun of Sam for being too serious, he took the habit to randomly attack me to prove me wrong.
“You’re too serious” he mocks you.
You get up and carefully puts your book on the table. He closes it and you scream :
“What ? Why ? I’ll have to read pages again before I found were I was !”
He laughs.
“This is war !” you groan.
“Yeah but Dean’s not here, nobody can defend you !”
And with that you jump on his back, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. He tries to turn to catch you but he doesn’t want to hurt you, so he can’t really use his hunter’s skill.
Suddenly, you feel to strong hands grip you from behind and take you off of Sammy.
Dean.
He kisses your neck and puts you on the ground without letting your waist go.
“Dean, please, I need you to avenge me” you say.
“What did he do ?” he asks, rubbing his delicious scruff on your neck.
“He lost my page” you pout.
Sam laugh and Dean squeezes your waist, kissing below your ear. Humming slightly he starts growing hard on your lower back and you moan despite yourself. Sam roll his eyes and leave with a smirk.
“No time for that, Man, you have to defend my honor !” You try, but Dean turns you in his arms and start kissing you.
“I’ll slay him later, Woman” he murmurs, starting to kiss your throat.
You put your arms around his neck and let your head fall back to grant him full access. Playing with his hair you smile.
“I love you Baby” he says before kissing your mouth again, smiling in the kiss.
“Liar” You say kissing him back. “You won’t ever kill your brother for me.”
He puts his forehead on yours and laugh.
“Hum… Hello”
You jump. Mary.
Mary’s watching you two. How long have she been here ? Dean lets go off you and stumble :
“Oh hum… Hi mom. How, how long have you been here ?”
She smiles although she looks confused and looks at you.
“Long enough. So you two… Can I talk to you Dean ?”
“No” he says, taking you by the waist. “You are going to tell me she’s too young. Save your breath. Mom… You don’t know anything about our story. I love Y/n and she loves me. If you love me you’re going to be happy.”
She seems taken aback by the coldness of her son’s answer, and clear her voice.
“You know I love you…” she says. “Jody ?”
“Not yet” he says. “Tomorrow.”
_________________________
Mary won’t stop staring at Dean and you. And he won’t stop acting natural, this is awkward because his hands are always on you, he keeps randomly kissing you as usual, and giving you sweet names, except his mother is there.
“Dean and Y/n are in love” Jack says proudly.”Castiel says they may be soul mates. You must be so happy !”
“I am” she says with amusement. “It’s just so new.”
“Round two ?” Dean asks, rubbing your back.
“You mean round three…”
“The first one didn’t count” he laughs.
“It didn’t ? What ? It did, Dean, I’m sore from that round !” You turn and kiss his eye, just because you love to kiss his face.
“But Baby eating you out is not a round…”
“In this position it is…”
“God it was so sexy… holding your ass up in my arms… Fuck. I’m hard again.”
“Watch your heart old man” You say and you feel a sharp pain on your left ass cheek. “Wow ! Did you just… spank me ?”
“Did you just called me old ?” he groans and you laugh, bending on him.
You look at his face and kiss a freckle. He rubs your back and hums, closing his eyes. He knows how much you love to look at him closely, he knows that particular freckle is your favorite. He knows everything since you found him searching in the precious Dean box one night. You answered all the questions, you let him read my soul, he knows you like no one.
His hand comes to one of your breast and knead it.
“Mh… I love your skin” he whispers.
You look at his strong arm and at his jaw, you see his Adam’s apple move and smell him.
“Dean…” you moan.
His eyes suddenly open to look at you.
“Oh Baby you made that sound !” he says with a wide smile showing the teeth you want to feel on your body.
“What sound ?”
“That sound when you’re suddenly so aroused you can’t talk so you just moan my name with that specific voice”.
Fuck, he knows you so much.
“Take me Baby” you say snuggling up against him. “Hard.”
He groans and sits on the bed, taking your wrists to hold them with force above your head.
“Hard ?” he asks. “You want me to fuck you ?”
“I want you to use me” you say spreading your legs and licking your lips.
“Fuck” he groans low, biting your throat. “I guess you’ll have to ask nicely”.
“Please” you say, opening your mouth to take a deep breath.
With the hand that’s not holding your wrists he takes one of your leg and put it on his shoulder. You wrap the other high on his waist. Before you’re ready, he pushes in one strong movement inside you and you cry in surprise, light pain and pleasure.
“Take me” he orders, his eyes dark and his jaw clenched.
You smile, biting your lower lip. Dean is not often so dominant in bed, that’s what makes it so hot, feeling how strong and dangerous he is. The legendary hunter under the loving man. The darkness within the lights.
He starts trusting so hard your head join your wrists against the wall. You’re one the verge of crying, but not because the pleasure is mixed with pain, not because you’re scared –Dean never scares you- just because it’s so overwhelming.
He groans and bites you everywhere, living marks all over your chest. He’s not holding back and you love it, even if you know you’ll feel him for days.
Each inch of your body is reacting : you toes curl, your legs desperately try to close, you pussy clench hard, your belly tremble, it’s like every single drop of your blood is coming up to your head, you’re dizzy and burning.
And suddenly he’s out of you. You cry in surprise and your legs close as he withdraws. A tear run down your face.
“Dean… Please”.
And you feel him turn you around like you weighted nothing, he lifts your ass and let your head on the mattress. When he slams back into you, you scream in the pillow and grab the sheets, whining.
“I love you so much it hurts sometimes, you know that ?” he roars through his teeth.
“I know, D… Dean. I love you… Ah… you too Baby” you cry, trying not to scream.
And he pounds into you with force, hitting the right spots every time. He grabs your hair and turn your head to see half your face.
“Mine” he groans before his trusts become uneven.
You can’t hold on anymore and let the storm-like orgasm wash over you, making your brain die for a second. You hear him moan manly and he stills. Your legs are soaked, your breathing is short and quick. You feel him come deep inside of you and you whine, unable to think.
He falls besides you, out of breath, sweaty and beautiful ; and takes you in his arms lovingly. You turn toward him and nestle your body against his.
“You okay ?” he asks, kissing your forehead.
“Yeah…” you say in a lazy smile, drawing patterns on his chest.
“Am I still old ?” he asks interwining his fingers with yours.
“Never…”
You feel the need to sleep.
___________________________________
“Hey, Baby…”
You feel a kiss on your cheek. You frown and, without opening your eyes, you reach out to touch Dean. He’s clean and dressed. You whine and grab his arm.
“I think you want to shower before we head to Jody’s”
Your eyes open wide. Fuck, you’re visiting Jody today to tell her you have a relationship with his best friend… And you are covered in sweat and… cum and everything else.
“Fuck ! Are we today already ?” you pout.
“Yep !” he says with a dazzling smile.
“But I can’t walk… You broke me” you say before turning your back on him and hiding under the blanket.
“Baby…” his voice is suddenly really serious. “Did I hurt you ?”
You sigh and surrender, sitting.
“Of course not. I would have stopped you if you were hurting me. I’m just sooooo sore and soooo dirty and…”
“Okay drink that” he hands you a warm coffee. “And go to the bathroom Baby, I swear I’ll give you a massage and cuddle you for hours and find a hotel with a bathtub big enough for the two of us like you asked… But, Y/n, we can’t be late at Jody’s. I can’t be late. She is already going to kill me, I can’t imagine what she’ll do if I’m late or if you smell like sex so much”.
“I smell so much like sex ?" He nods with a smile. "Are you even more nervous than I am ?” you say taking a sip of your coffee.
“I’m panicked” he admits.
Dean’s Pov
I knock on the door and she obviously can see how anxious I am, because before the door opens, she slips a hand under my flannel and t-shirt, rubbing my lower back lovingly. When Jody opens the door with a wide smile, she takes it back.
“Hey, Dean !” she greats me. “Y/n, sweetheart you look great !” she hugs her. “Sam is not with you ?”
“Hum, no, he…” I stammer.
“He’s not” she just says.
Jody offers us a drink and sits on her chair, looking at us with that warm smile, while we sit on the sofa. She starts giving us news of the girls and stops herself after a few minutes. Y/n seems calm, I’m so anxious.
“So, Y/n, how is it going, with your powers coming back ? Sam says you’re making real progress.”
“Yeah, I am” she says looking kindly at me. “I can control some things now, like, I don’t break into Dean’s dream every nights anymore…”
I tense.
“Why always Dean ?” Jody asks as I feared.
Y/n doesn’t answer, she looks at me. I can’t talk for a second and Jody looks at us worried, seeing how nervous I am. Then Y/n puts a loving hand on my arm, opening her mouth but I cut her :
“Because we sleep in the same room I guess, or because of the bond…” I say looking at my knees but Jody doesn’t answer. “Jody we… Y/n and I, we are together.”
I finally lift my gaze to see her face, she’s processing, looking between me and Y/n.
“You two are what ?” she says frowning.
“We’re in love” Y/n says.
“Excuse me ?” Jody says coldly.
She looks at me and I nod.
“Y/n, go to your room” she orders sternly.
“I…” Y/n starts but Jody stops her.
“This one time you’ll obey, Y/n !” she almost yell.
Y/n looks at me and I nod.
“Dean…” she says.
“It’s okay Baby” I say immediately regretting using that word out of habit.
Jody wince and Y/n gets up and face Jody.
“I’m not a child. I’m leaving because you want to talk to your friend alone, not because I obey” she says before leaving the room.
“Jody, she… I'm sorry.”
“Stop” she says. “Are you insane, Dean ? Do you know how young she is ? Do you know what she is to me ? Do you…”
“You think I’ll hurt her” I cut her.
“Yes ! I’m sorry Dean but yes ! What about Sasha ?”
“She broke up with him…” I sigh.
“But she loves him !”
“No. She’s always loved me. Jody I’m not so sure I’m bad for her anymore… Her powers are coming back because she’s happy. I’m… I’m not perfect but…”
“You’re life is…” she says. “Dark.”
“Hers is too. You said yourself that she looks happier than ever, relaxed… Listen, I tried, I tried to stay away from her but I can’t and she can’t either. I love her like I didn’t know it was possible.”
“Shut up !” she yells. “You don’t break my little girl’s heart Dean, you don’t !”
“I won’t. I will spend my life with her, protecting and loving her. Jody look” I take the ring out of my pocket. “I’m asking her to marry me.”
Jody looks at me with tears in her eyes. She takes the ring in her trembling hands and sighs.
"She's too young..."
"Not that much Jody, I mean, she's clearly younger than me but she's not a kid anymore. And let's be honest, she never was. Just like me" I say, taking the little ring back preciously. "Jody she really loves me, for a very long time. I know this must seem strange but I can feel it, everyday, how much she loves me... We're... Cas says we're soulmates." I can't help but smile at that.
"So it wasn't Sasha..." she murmurs. "I really thought she was in love of him. It was you all this time ? When she said 'I love you' in her dreams when she cried in her bed..."
I nod, remembering what Y/n wrote about hiding her love for me.
"She fell in love with you all those years ago ?" she try to process.
I nod.
"Tell me you waited, Dean." Saying that, a tear run down her cheek.
I get up and come in front of her.
"Jody, hey... Jody. I didn't touch her when she was too young, you already know that. I saw her as a child. I fell in love with her a few months ago. I tried to stay away but she..."
"I need to call Sam" she cuts me and I nod, getting up.
When I enter the her bedroom. Y/n is smiling. She comes toward me and kisses me with passion.
"You were great" she says between kisses. "She'll be happy for us eventually"
"You heard ?" I ask surprised and a little panicked. "All of it ?"
"You really thought I would go to my room and lock the door..."
My heart is pounding. I take her hand and kiss her lips shyly.
"That's not how I intended to ask you" I whisper.
"I can do as if I heard nothing if you want..." she says with that smile she can't hide.
"No" I say. "You and me we're never pretending. Now you have to answer me, would you be my wife ? I want to be mine."
"I already am yours, Dean. I can't wait to be a Winchester."
Big beautiful tears run down her cheeks as I kiss her slowly.
"Dean is the kindest, more selfless, bravest man I know, Y/n." Jody says at the door, making us jump a little. "Your love seems to be a blessing but being a Winchester is also a curse."
"Let me prove that wrong" my Baby says with a big smile, resting her head on my chest while she looks at her adoptive mom.
"Come here sweetheart" says Jody opening her arms. "You too Dean."
Feedback is soooo appreciated ;)
#supernatural#spn#supernatural imagine#supernatural fic#dean winchester#dean winchester fic#dean winchester x reader#deanxreader#dean x reader#dean x y/n#Smut#fluff
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Don’t Die, day 11
It all happened too fast.
As I fled from the house through the kitchen door, it was all a blur of running and noise, Daryl and Merle’s heavy, hurried steps right on my heels and the loud groans and growls from the two dead people running after us. Daryl ran faster than me and guided us around my house to reach his. As we reached the porch, I looked back and saw Bobbi-Jo’s dead, stumbling but surprisingly agile body turning the corner, the half-face she still had with perfect makeup, but her eyes void of any life.
We’d entered the Dixon’s house, locked all the doors, and had been there ever since. The house had three entrances; the front door, the kitchen door to the side, which led to another small porch, and the basement hatch door, that had always been locked and blocked by an old wardrobe and had never been a viable way in and out. The kitchen door was now blocked by an old and very heavy dresser, cardboard blocking the glass view. The front door, the only one that was left unblocked, was constantly guarded.
If I had to recollect and tell exactly who things went, I wouldn’t be able to. I don’t know if it was the electricity, the phone signal or the internet that went down first. I don’t remember if we searched through the house looking for things that could be useful before or after we saw dozens of dead people walking around the street, Bobbi-Jo among them. The battery radio still worked, but no useful information came out of it.
It was a virus. It was a parasite. It was bacteria. The cure was known. No, that cure didn’t work. It was the end of the world. Don’t let yourself get bit by one of them. That’s how you die and then turn. We will find the cure; we’ve got the best people working on it. Don’t get bit until then. The CDCs all over the country were working on it. Go to Atlanta. Go to Atlanta. There’s a center, food, and shelter until the cure is found. It’s safe. Don’t get bit and go to Atlanta.
“Yeah, but that ain’t true, is it?” Merle dragged in the same old, drunken voice, a bottle of beer in hand, his back to the arm of the couch, a leg resting along with it. “Sons of bitches don’t know nothin’.”
“What are you on about?” Daryl asked from his watch by the window.
“D wasn’t bit, was he now?”
“Nope,” I answered from the other couch where I was lying. “Died from a stab in the neck. Only one who bit him was me.”
“What?” Merle questioned, frowning.
“I bit him, you don’t remember that?” I sat up, bare feet resting on the worn out, dusty mat. “The night before. And I sure as hell ain’t one of those fuckin’ dead things”, I finished as I got up, leaning over to reach for a pack of cigarettes from the coffee table. “So ya right, son of bitches know nothing.”
“We don’t know he wasn’t bit,” Daryl said looking at me as I approached him putting one cigarette between my lips and handing him the pack. “He coulda been. Damn fucker was so hammered all the time, coulda forget it happened.”
“Or that.” I agreed.
Daryl threw the pack at Merle after he took a cigarette for himself and we went silent again like we were most part of the time when Daryl and Merle weren’t fighting, foul-mouthed and disagreeing on everything. I hadn’t slept more than a few minutes but felt alert anyway, I’d never needed many hours asleep to feel fine. What worried me now was that, after ten days in that house, their pantry had been emptied while we just sat around, ate, argued and fought and waited for something to happen. I worried that, after so long, nothing was actually going to change. Not if we didn’t take action, any kind of action.
“I’m going home.” Hours later I broke the silence.
“You insane?” Merle asked. “Ya can’t go back there. The street’s taken by those things. Your house’s taken.”
“You gonna end up like ‘em.” Daryl completed.
“Good to see you guys agreeing on something.” I crossed her arms and glared at them. “I’m gonna take things. Food, clothes, first aid kit, weapons. Lots of knives in the kitchen, a pistol in Bobbi-Jo’s bedroom. A rifle on the wall that might still work if we find ammo. Things on the fridge might still be good. Gonna pack all I can, you should too if we’re gonna make it to Atlanta.”
“I ain’t goin’ to no fuckin’ Atlanta.” Merle sat up, both feet now on the rug. “Won’t be nothin’ there. Shelter and food for free to everyone? Bullshit. Rich people, is all.”
“So you gonna stay here?” I opened my arms to gesture around the living room. “And do what? Starve to death? Thirst yourself dry? You don’t even wanna go next door for supplies, how ya gonna get food?”
He didn’t answer, only crossed his arms, shaking his head, a stubborn smirk still on his lips. Big fucking child.
“We know how to kill ‘em.” Daryl said still from his position by the window. “Just gotta stab in the brain and don’t let ‘em come close.”
“I got two good hunting knives there, one in Owen, the other in D. Should get ‘em back too.”
We agreed but said nothing, just moved at the same time as if agreed. Only wondered about that later. Now we just moved to the kitchen table where we had previously set out a sort of kitchen knives. Daryl grabbed two of them as well as his crossbow. I chose a big butcher knife and two smaller ones and moved to the door sheathing them into my waistband being followed by Daryl.
“Ok, gotta stay together. Don’t go wandering alone.” I told him.
“I’ll have your back while you take the things.” He agreed and we gave each other a sharp nod.
Daryl pulled the door open and we crossed the threshold. The noise of the door and our steps attracted the attention of two dead people who were closest to the house, by the sidewalk. They turned their heads in slow motion, but as their dead eyes found the two living people on the porch, it was like their bodies came to life, groaning excitedly and taking stumbling but fast steps in their direction.
“Noise attracts them.” Daryl stated what I was thinking a moment before shooting an arrow right into the eye of the male one. We went down the steps and on the bottom Daryl stopped to reload the crossbow, hands working on it but head raised and eyes looking around attentively. The second dead, a female, was closer to me now. “In the brain!” Daryl reminded me.
I walked to the corpse as she walked to me and felt my heart accelerate. Damn, it really was a fuckin walking corpse, like for real, the sci-fi movies had really happened, who’d think that? But I got over that because no time to think right now or it’d bite me. I remembered how soft and easy it had been to stick the knife into D’s eye, so that’s what I went for before it could even get close enough to me. Blood splattered on me as the eyeball popped. Disgusted, all I thought then was that if this was how one got infected with whatever that was, I was screwed. But then again, we’d all touched the dead’s blood ten days ago and hadn’t got sick, so I didn’t really know what to think. Maybe it really was just bites.
“Let’s go.” I put the thought aside for now and we ran across the yard towards my house. There was one more there and Daryl’s arrow reached it easily. As we got to the steps, I heard a groan and looked back. It was Bobbi-Jo, or what used to be her. I stared at her as her corpse started coming to me. After ten days of her death, her figure was now something completely different. Her exposed flesh had started decaying; her eyes seemed even whiter than before, what was left of the skin of her face a nauseating shade of gray. Her eye makeup had oozed down her cheek.
“Sam!” Daryl’s voice called from the porch. I didn’t remember having ever heard him say my name before, I hadn’t even been sure if he knew it.
“Go, I got her.” I told him and heard his steps entering the house only a moment later like he had paused to decide and then moved. I let Bobbi-Jo approach, less agile than she had been days before, but still quick. When she was close enough, I grabbed her by the neck, keeping her dead, moaning form away from me at arm’s length. My heartbeat got even faster, I could feel in my temple, and my throat suddenly tightening. Bobbi was small, the same size as me, but had always been thinner as an effect of too many drugs.
In the moment I looked into Bobbi-Jo’s dead eyes, I remembered years of having her present in my life. The moment I had met her, my dad bringing her to our house and introducing her as his girlfriend. I remember thinking how could she be my dad’s girlfriend if she looked to be my own age. Later, I found out Bobbi-Jo was only seven years older than me. I remembered us moving from Atlanta to Savannah. I hadn’t wanted to. Dad didn’t really want to either, but Bobbi-Jo had insisted. That’s when they started living together, and it was hell on earth. We fought all the time when dad wasn’t home, and in the beginning Bobbi-Jo would pretend to be the victim when he arrived, but after a while she didn’t even do that anymore. I hated her. I hated her with all my might, I hated her for all the horrible things she told me, for the physical fights, for making dad father suffer, for cheating on him, for spending all the money he had gathered from years of hard work in a carpentry. For pretending in front of friends and family that she was suffering when he was dying from cancer. For getting herself a new boyfriend less than a month after he died. I hated having had to stay in the house, hated having Bobbi-Jo still live there. We each owned half of it, neither wanted to leave it to the other.
“Yeah, you bitch?” I snarled at her. “How’d ya like that? All the trouble ya had and that’s how ya die. Hope it was as painful as his death.” I raised the knife, eyes burning with all the remaining anger I carried with me all this time, “That’s for my dad!”
The knife entered her left eye and I held it in place for a long moment. The knot in my throat tightened painfully, the rage in my eyes being instantly replaced by tears. As I pulled he knife out, a wet noise following a splash of stinky blood, Bobbi-Jo’s body fell to the ground. With a sob, I felt no satisfaction; it just didn’t feel like it was enough. Leaning over, I stabbed a few more times, into her other eye and even into the hard bone of her temple and forehead, and I was probably groaning in anger at each stab because my throat complained quite a bit after. Finally, I stopped and straightened up, breathing hard, staring down at the disfigured head. The hand holding the knife was shaking, tears escaping my eyes.
When I turned, unable to look at the mass of flesh on my feet any longer, I saw Daryl standing under the doorframe, eyes watching me carefully, head turned downwards, crossbow hanging on his side.
“It’s clear.” he said quietly when I just looked at him, not moving or saying anything. “Was just one of ‘em inside.”
Without a word, I climbed the four steps towards the door, but Daryl didn’t move. I stopped on the step below him and looked up, eyebrows raised in question.
“You ok?” he murmured.
“Stop asking me that.”
I’m sure my voice sounded stronger than I felt at the moment. I felt my insides trembling, it that makes sense, my shoulder muscles so tense they’d stop a knife. I took a step up and passed by Daryl, our shoulders touching briefly. Stopping just by the front door, I looked around. It had been days, the house and the bodies smelled horrible, putridly, as if the air was solid. I didn’t look at the corpses for long. Daryl had already closed the kitchen door, so the only way in and out was through the front. He was taking his arrow out of the eye of the random guy Bobbi-Jo had brought home that night. I felt bile in my throat again at the smell of the living room of the house I had called home for so many years. It didn’t feel like it anymore.
“Go, I’ll keep watch.” He said carefully while he cleaned the tip of an arrow on the fabric of the couch.
It didn’t take long for me to go through the whole house. I emptied the cabinet of groceries into a backpack, there were several cans there, clothes I thought could be functional into a handbag – clean underwear! I’d been handwashing as reusing the same panties for days now! The two different pairs of boots I had and one I took from Bobbi-Jo. Hers were yellow and I hated it, but whatever. The carton of Morley packs, half a bottle of whiskey. That was for the boys. The first aid kit from under the bathroom sink. A couple of soap bars, toothbrush and toothpaste. I took the gun, checking it was loaded, two boxes of bullets from Bobbi-Jo’s wardrobe, knives from the kitchen, the rifle from the wall, and that was it.
“Hey,” Daryl stopped touching a finger softly on my shoulder as I was heading to the door carrying all the bags by myself, without asking for help. I stopped in a halt and looked up at him, a frown on my face. I was too tense and willing to get the hell out of that house for good to be expecting a touch, even the slighted ones, right now. “Thought ya’d want this.”
He handed me a picture he’d taken from a frame on the living room wall. I saw the back of it first, a sloppy handwriting that said “Jack and Sam at Chastain Park, spring 1989”. Turning it around, I saw myself as a nine-year-old sitting on top of a slide, smiling widely, blonde hair shining under the sun. Standing by my side, smiling awkwardly at the camera, was my dad, sandy hair graying on the sides, unkempt stubble, dark brown eyes lit up with contentment.
My throat tightened once again and I felt an uncomfortable prickle in my eyes, and I just nodded without looking up at Daryl. I knew that picture, of course, and it’d been on the wall for years, but I never looked at it. It was painful. I folded the picture carefully twice and reached around to my back jeans pocket, tucking it in. Taking a deep breath, I looked up at Daryl for just a second before looking out the door once again.
“Let’s go.”
We both stopped on the steps, though, Daryl once again higher than me, when we saw Merle ride his bike out of the garage of their house. He rode not once looking back, speeding away with a loud rumble, dead corpses trying to rush after it.
“Son of a bitch!” Daryl shouted as he rushed past me down the steps. She ran after him, crossing the yard to his porch and into the house, slowed down by the bags. When I entered he was rushing over the other rooms of his house. I dropped the bags by the front door before going looking for him.
“Fuckin’ bastard!” He was yelling when we met again on the corridor.
“He just left?!”
“You saw him leave, didn’t ya?” he answered angrily.
I raised her hands lifting my eyebrows in affront. Daryl just rushed past me mumbling “fuck” and I followed him into Merle’s bedroom.
“His stuff still here.” he noticed as I stood by the door.
“He’ll come back,” I said, arms crossed. “he wouldn’t leave you in this –”
“- -the hell he wouldn’t!” Daryl raised his voice again. “Is wha’ Merle do, he leaves. Not the first time.” His voice was bitter as he strode past me. When I reached the living room, having followed him one more time, Daryl was picking up one of the bags from the floor. “Let’s just go.”
“What if he comes back?” I asked with my arms still crossed.
“Yeah, maybe in a couple of months.” Daryl snorted out.
“C’mon Daryl, we don’t know that.”
“You know nothing ‘bout Merle.” he snarled turning to me, a backpack over one shoulder. “He ain’t coming back!”
“Daryl, listen, he’s just left, you sure you don’t want to wait at least a bit?”
“Why do you care if he come back anyway?”
“I don’t, really, but I know that if we leave now you might not find your brother again.” I uncrossed my arms and took a couple of steps towards him, speaking calmly. “We don’t know what’s gonna happen, how things are out there… What if you don’t see him again? What if you don’t see him again just ‘cause you couldn’t wait a few hours?”
Daryl looked from me to the door and back again, unsure, biting the skin of his lower lip.
“It’s past three, anyway,” I kept talking, knowing he was listening now “it’ll get dark soon; I don’t think we should travel at night. If not for Merle let’s at least just wait ‘til morning ‘cause it might be safer.”
Daryl stared at me, worry creasing his forehead, still biting his lip. I’d seen him do that before, anytime he was lost in thought, or worried, or unsure. He nodded sharply once after a moment and dropped the bag to the ground again, then moved away from me and deeper into the house. In the hallway leading to his bedroom, he said: “You watch over, I’ll take a nap.”
He crossed the hall with heavy steps and stormed into the room and I expected the door to be slammed closed, but he didn’t act that childishly. It was more like Merle to do that, even though he was the oldest. I think he was about ten years older than Daryl, but I’ve never known for certain. And he wasn’t here now. It was weird not having Merle there, because his presence was always known. Even if he was in his bedroom sleeping we could hear him snoring loudly and speaking on his sleep. He never slept quietly, I wonder how he even got any rest. Maybe that’s why he did all the drugs, to let go of whatever it was he had in his head.
Merle was a case to be studied. I knew very little about him. I’d been living next-door to the Dixons for eighteen years, and for a while, it was three of them; the father and the two sons. I barely saw the father over the years, he was always inside and when I did see him occasionally outside he was drunk and slurring racial insults at neighbors or inappropriate things at Bobby-Jo or myself, which turned into misogynistic ones when neither of us gave him any attention. He had died two or three years ago, I think, from something on his liver. Then it was just the two brothers. Merle had been gone from the house for long periods of time and back three of four times since I’d been there. At least one of them I knew he’d gone away with the army, I’m not sure if he went to a war or something, but in total Daryl was alone at the house for a few years. Their relation was… Delicate, let’s say. I always saw them together at the house and over the years even out throughout the city, so they seemed t be friends, but they fought a lot, never agreed on anything and Merle often talked him down. On those 10 days, I’d been cooped up in the house with them made this quite clear. I hated to hear it, I wanted to tell Merle to just shut the fuck up, but hey, who was I go meddle? I didn’t really know them; I didn’t know what was behind all that. So when it was too much I just left and locked myself in their spare bedroom, the one I’d been using, and stayed in there for a few hours.
Maybe Daryl was right. Maybe Merle had gone for good, left us, and was not coming back. Is shouldn’t bother me. It didn’t. It didn’t bother me. I couldn’t care less. What would I be missing without Merle traveling with us tomorrow morning? Not a thing. It would be better to be just with Daryl; I could deal with Daryl. He was not bad. He even spoke gently and carefully to me, something I’d never expected, something guys didn’t usually do. I would be fine, I didn’t care.
Except that I fucking did. I groaned in anger at myself and I observed the street through the window, shaking my head and taking a pull off my cigarette. I fucking cared, I wished Merle would come back. He was still Merle, still the person who verbally harassed me for years, but on those ten days in his house something had changed and I couldn’t pinpoint it, but I knew it had. He wasn’t harassing me anymore, except for a few jokes about how I should cook for them and maybe warm up their bed at night – Daryl punched him hard on the shoulder for that one and Merle laughed, even as he held his arm because that strong punch had to hurt. He was behaving not in a good manner, but in a manner I could accept. And he had come to my rescue that night, there was that. I wished he’d come back, mostly for Daryl, but also because I knew things must be dangerous out there. There was much more than this fucking neighborhood and Chatham, and if the world was ending things were not pretty out there.
But it was settled, in the morning Daryl and I were gonna go, leave this house and hit the road to Atlanta, with or without Merle. I moved from the window to the kitchen, where I lit a single candle and tried making some food. I didn’t even know what, maybe one of the last packs of powdered soup. I took a clean pan from the drying rack, placed it under the tap and opened it. It couched and gurgled and a little brown water came out, but then just air. No water. Great… I placed the pan inside the sink, rested my hands there and lowered my head. Yeah, it really was time to go.
I blew the candle off and returned to my spot by the window. We were going to hit the road. Leave our houses. I was going to leave my house and God knows when I’d be back. Of if I’d ever be back. The house I’d been living at for 18 years and had lived good moments, but also the worst of my life. I wasn’t sorry I’d be gone. I kind of wished I’d never come back. I wished life would change so drastically I’d never even had the chance to do so. Never have to decide to come back or not.
What was this weird thing I was feeling? I wasn’t bad, but shouldn’t it be bad? Shouldn’t I be dreading whatever the fuck was happening? The world seemed to be ending in rising corpses and nothing would ever be the same, why wasn’t I that scared? I mean, of course, I was scared, but in a strange way…. In a way that good things also scare us. Does that make sense? No, it doesn’t, I know it doesn’t. But I was… And I shocked myself when I found the correct word for it, even then, standing by that window as I saw a group of three dead walking up the field at the end of the road: excited. And now I judged myself for feeling it. What kind of horrible person feels that when the world is ending and so many people are dying and suffering? I hated myself for it.
I also thought of my father. I wished he had lived to go through it with me, he was always so supportive, always trying to make me look at the good side to everything, such a gentle soul. Yeah, but thinking about it made me see he was not fit for this new life, he would never be able to kill a corpse even if it was trying to kill him. No, he was too good. All of this would break his heart. And now I was crying, thinking about dad.
“Hey, we got no water,” Daryl’s voice brought me back from where my mind was to the Dixon’s dark living room. I looked back at him, who had only now figured where I was. I had lit no candles and there was just a gap in the curtain letting a little light in. Seeing me, he continued, “jus’ a warnin’ so ya have no surprise in here”, he pointed over his shoulder in the direction of the bathroom.
“Yeah,” my voice came out a little weak and hoarse. “I tried to cook something and the water was out. We got one more can of soup… Then jus’ things I bought from home.”
I turned to the window again trying hard and failing not to think of what he meant about a surprise in there, and the room was quiet again. I guessed he’d moved away again. There were six dead people roaming the street now. Their moans and crickets and cicadas singing were the soundtracks of the night.
“You okay?”
I jumped a little. His voice was closer than I expected Daryl to be. Damn, the man could be silent if he wanted to. Hunting instincts.
“Sorry,” he smirked
“Jesus, Daryl” I turned away from him again. “I’m fine. Told ya not to ask me that.”
“Is jus’…” he shrugged. “Voice’s weird. You been cryin’?”
I crossed her arms over her chest, still looking out. He didn’t have to know that. It was personal. He wouldn’t understand what I was feeling now, not even I understood. Excited that the world was ending, only sad my daddy wasn’t here to see it? Forget it.
“No,” I told him simply.
“Alright,” he stated and moved away from me in an instant. I followed him with my eyes, turning around a little. Damn, did he sound relieved that I didn’t share! Men and their troubles with feelings and stuff.
Who am I kidding, I have trouble with feelings and stuff as well.
But a little tiny part of me was a little disappointed that he didn’t insist? Yep, it definitely was.
“Did ya eat?” he asked already from the kitchen.
“No. Not hungry, you go ahead.” I responded mechanically, trying to see him in the dark, unsuccessfully. In a minute he was back, the cold can of soup in hand, half of its content in a bowl that he handed me. I didn’t take it, arms still crossed.
“Eat,” he said firmly, motioning the bowl again.
Sighing and rolling her eyes away from him, I took the bowl and started eating. That was not one of the good soups, but whatever. We ate silently, both standing looking out.
“There’s Mr. Walker from 4th street.” Daryl said around a mouthful of soup, pointing to the dead chubby, old man wearing suspenders.
“Dead man Walker.” I said in a dead serious voice.
He chuckled for a moment but caught himself and lowered his head to his can of soup quickly, going silent again. I held in a smile. This rough man could be cute sometimes and wasn’t even aware of that. Full of surprises, that guy. He’d never spoken to me before in those eighteen years but then he goes to the diner to warn me and get to my house to help and if hosting me here for 10 days like it’s all normal. I really didn’t understand.
“Why did you help me?” I asked suddenly after finishing my half soup.
“Wha’?”
“That day, with D.” I turned a little more to him after resting the empty bowl on the window sill. “You went all the way to the diner to warn me about him. Why did ya do that?”
He shrugged, not looking at me, “Was in the area.”
“Seriously, Daryl.”
He kept looking out, his expression closing up, and was silent for a moment. I just waited, staring up at him.
“Couldn’t hear him say what he’d do to ya and do nothin’.”
“Alright. Okay, you warned me, I told you I could take care of myself, but then you showed up there and helped me, and stick around and helped with the… Walker things, and then took me in here, and I’ve been here for days. It’s ‘bout all that I’m asking. Why you helping me?”
“Would you rather I didn’t?” he turned his head to me, annoyance clear in his voice.
“Oh, c’mon Daryl!” I turned away, arms up in annoyance for a moment Why couldn’t he just answer me?
“’Cause you needed, is why!” he cried, getting pissed. It was easy to piss him off. “You our neighbor twenty fuckin’ years, don’t gotta be best buddies with someone to help.”
“Well, you’re right we ain’t best buddies, but we were never even a little bit. We ain’t never talked to each other, and now I’m here practically living in your house.”
“It’s the fuckin’ Walker apocalypse out there!” Daryl yelled angrily pointing out the window. “What a fuckin’ cold-blooded motherfucker ya take me for? Ya thought I’d let the men rape and torture you, and then leave you to die alone eaten by the dead?” he snarled and took a step further, standing very close to me. I looked up at him, towering at least ten inches above me, but I didn’t flinch or blink. Somehow I knew he was not a threat. “That the kinda man ya take me for?”
I swallowed hard, my eyes locked with his, and his got a little self-aware after a second, as if he realized just how close to each other we were standing now. We’d never been close like this, even living in close quarters. I could pay attention to details on him that I never registered before. His stubble was nearly blonde, or maybe it was starting to grow grey, just how freaking blue his eyes were and the mole he had just above the left corner of his lip. Was he maybe noticing these detailed in my face too? I still had a faint bluish mark from that old slap, and my eyes probably looked tired now. No self-care with my face skin for many days now, it must look dry. Damn, I was starting to get self-conscious by him looking at me like that.
I should say something. Daryl hadn’t moved after his question, so maybe it hadn’t been rhetorical. I soundlessly cleared my throat of the lump that had formed there before saying in a very low voice, “Torture?”
Daryl nodded slowly, his jaws clenching tightly. “Yeah.”
And yet, he didn’t move.
“Guess I never thanked you.” I whispered.
That made him lower his eyes and turn again to the window, opening space between us once again. “‘S nothin’,” he mumbled tightly.
“You helped me avoid rape and torture. Guess that’s something.”
Before moving away from him, feeling too awkward and uncomfortable being so close, I touched his bicep quickly, squeezing it lightly before letting go.
#twd#twd fanfiction#twd fanfic#the walking dead#the walking dead fanfiction#the walking dead fanfic#twd daryl fanfiction#twd daryl fanfic#daryl oc#daryl ofc#daryl dixon ofc#twd ofc#daryl dixon x ofc#ofc#fanfiction#fanfic#twdfanfic#original female character#daryl original female character
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DanganRWBY (chapter 1) - Let’s Betray Each Other
It hasn’t been long after the opening ceremony. And though Ruby is still panicked, she - along with team JNPR - comes up with a plan to escape without anyone dying...
(IT’S DONE! IT’S FINALLY DONE!!!)
(I am SO SORRY this chapter took so long! But hopefully it was worth the wait!)
(If you have any asks/reactions for this fic, my inbox is open!)
“Ruby, lying there crying on your bed isn’t going to solve anything.”
It was at this moment that Ruby realised that she had left the door open. She lifted her head from her pillow and looked behind her.
Jaune was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded.
Ruby buried her head back into the pillow. “Not now.”
Ruby didn’t know how long it had been since she had run off from Beochi’s opening ceremony, but it felt like hours. And it was hard to keep calm when Beochi telling the group to kill each other was constantly running through her head.
She heard footsteps, and Pyrrha’s voice joined them. “You shouldn’t be so direct, Jaune.”
“It’s not going to solve anything, though.” He replied.
“I know, but...She’s scared.”
“We all are. But we need to do something.”
Ruby hugged the pillow tighter as Jaune continued.
“I know she’s still naive and innocent and everything,” he said. “But she still has to wake up and face this.”
Ruby moved her head a little away from the pillow without lifting it up, so she could see the two figures at her doorway; albeit upside-down and slightly distorted due to the tears filling up her eyes.
Jaune remained in his original position, except his arms weren’t folded and he was articulating his point with his left hand. Pyrrha was starting to walk inside the room, and looked over to the bed worryingly.
“Ruby, are you okay?”
Ruby didn’t know what to say, so she mumbled something into her pillow while hugging it tighter around her face.
She heard some footsteps coming over to the bed, and felt someone gently place their hand on the back of her shoulder.
“I know you’re scared.” Pyrrha’s soothing voice was a lot closer now. “Trust me, we all are. But Jaune’s right. You can’t cry about it all day.”
Ruby didn’t say anything at first, but eventually replied “We have to do something.”
Or at least she tried to with her face still buried in the pillow.
Pyrrha seemed to understand her. “That’s right.” Ruby felt her hand lift up off her shoulder.
Ruby carefully lifted her head up from the pillow. Her vision was still distorted due to all her tears, but it was starting to clear up, so she could see Pyrrha’s warm smile.
“We have to do something,” She repeated, starting to get up from the bed. “Beochi says that killing someone is the only way out, but that can’t be right! There’s gotta be another way out!”
“We just need to find it.” Jaune finished her sentence, still leaning against the doorframe.
Ruby wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, finally clearing up her vision, and gave a determined smile.
“Exactly.”
Pyrrha laughed a little, and gently tousled Ruby’s hair. “There’s the Ruby Rose I know.”
Ruby also laughed in response, glad to be feeling a sense of positivity in this insane scenario.
Pyrrha smiled, and carefully fixed Ruby’s hair before putting her hands down.
“There.” She said reassuringly. “You ready?”
Ruby nodded determinedly. “Yeah. Let’s find a way out of here.”
“Wow...” Ruby said, impressed, as the three of them walked through the dorm room halls. “This is almost just like it used to be...”
The hall was one of a few on top of each other, and they had dorm rooms for each individual student lined up neatly.
“Yeah,” Pyrrha agreed. “Except it used to be for each team rather than each individual student.”
“Maybe that Beochi thing changed it somehow.” Jaune said.
“He’s a tiny Beowolf...Uh...Robot, I think?” Ruby replied. “I don’t think he’d be able to do that on it’s own.”
“We don’t know what he’s capable of yet. Well, we know he’s capable of an explosion, but you get my point.”
Ruby shivered a little. “I don’t really want to think about what he’s capable of...”
This prompted a stern look from Pyrrha in Jaune’s direction. Jaune sighed.
“Just a shot in the dark.”
Ruby quickly changed the subject. “Any idea where anyone else is?”
Jaune shrugged. “They all kinda dispersed after the announcement. Some of them might also be trying to find a way out or something.”
“That’s good! They might be able to help us!”
“Exactly.” Pyrhha nodded. “All the more reason to keep going.”
They eventually reached some stairs at the end of the hall and went down them, heading into one of the main halls of the school building.
“Jaune and I went through this way earlier,” Ruby explained as they walked through the hall. “After we woke up in that classroom. Not much seems to have changed from then, though.”
Pyrrha nodded. “Do you think anyone will be-”
Pyrrha’s question was answered in the form of a banging noise up ahead.
Pyrrha and Ruby stopped, startled, and Jaune nodded.
“Bingo.”
The three of them ran to the source of the sound.
When they got there, they saw someone trying to kick down a boarded-up door.
Someone that Ruby instantly recognised.
“Mercury?”
The boy in question turned around for a brief second after hearing his name.
“Oh. Hey.” He immediately continued trying to kick down the door.
Ruby walked up closer to inspect the door. It was the one with the empty nameplate that her and Jaune had found earlier that day.
By the looks of things, Mercury’s kicks weren’t making much progress.
Ruby cleared her throat. “Uh...Any luck?”
Mercury shook his head, not turning back around. “Unfortunately, no. Seems that thing was right about confiscating our weapons.” He gestured to the general direction of the amphitheatre. “Little bastard jammed my guns.”
“Oh! Because your weapons are in your boots, right?”
“Precisely.” He gave another powerful kick to the door, barely making it budge. “However, that little fucker still found a way to stop them from working.”
Jaune sighed. “That’s a pain.” He gestured towards the blank nameplate on the door. “Why are you so obsessed with getting in, anyway? Judging by the nameplate, it’s most likely an empty room.”
Mercury was just about to reply when someone else replied for him.
“Took the words right out of my mouth.”
Mercury sighed, annoyed. “Emerald, how long have you been standing there.”
Emerald, who had appeared to have joined them while Mercury was occupied with the door, smirked and casually flicked her hair back. “Not long enough for you to have noticed, apparently.” She flashed a smile over in Ruby’s direction. “Hey, Ruby.”
“Hi, Emerald!” Ruby replied cheerily. “Have you found anything yet?”
She pointed over at Mercury smugly. “Nothing other than Merc here taking his anger out on a door.”
Mercury shoved her off. “Shut up.”
“Do you have any idea where anyone else is?” Jaune asked.
Emerald shrugged as Mercury ignored him and continued to kick the door.
“There might be some more people further down. I think there might be some people in the dining hall or something. I mean, that place is massive, so there might be something going on down there.”
Ruby looked over to Jaune and Pyrrha with a wide smile. “That’s a start!”
Pyrrha smiled back. “Sure is.” She turned back over to Emerald. “Thanks for the help.”
Emerald winked. “No problem. I’m just gonna see how long it takes for Mercury to give up on this door.”
This prompted another shove from Mercury.
Jaune smirked. “Shall we?”
Ruby nodded. “Good call.”
The three of them walked past Emerald and Mercury in the general direction of the dining hall.
“You sure it’s a good idea just to go by what Emerald said?” Jaune wondered skeptically.
“I know, but it’s the only lead we have!” Ruby said, cheerfully leading the way. “Unless we see a room with anyone else, the dining hall is our current destina-”
Pyrrha pointed over at an open door. “You mean like in there?”
“Yeah, basically. But the-”
Ruby realised what Pyrrha was implying. Her and Jaune immediately joined her at the door – specifically the “STORAGE” door that Jaune and Ruby had passed on the way to the amphitheatre.
“You think someone’s in there?” Jaune asked.
Pyrrha nodded. “I thought I saw someone. Let’s go inside.”
Jaune and Ruby nodded in unison, and the three of them headed inside.
The room felt a lot bigger than it should have been when looking at the door. There were many tall warehouse-like shelves across the room, with many random and miscellaneous items stacked neatly on them; including wind-up flashlights, different engineering parts and components, plastic suitcases in an array of colours and sizes, leather satchels in a less wide array of colours and sizes and small boxes filled with different tools.
“Jeez, how did that thing GET all this stuff!?” A voice said from further down in the room.
This must’ve been who Pyrrha saw…Ruby thought, when a second voice answered the first.
“If he’s working with someone, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
There’s two people in here? Ruby thought, before her, Pyrrha and Jaune started to head further down the storage room towards the source of the two voices.
They eventually found Coco and Fox looking over one of the shelves, with Coco holding a small hammer from one of the boxes in her hand.
“What the hell is all this stuff even for, anyway?” Coco passed the hammer over to him.
Fox felt the hammer in his hand for a few seconds, before shrugging and passing it back over. “For if he expects us to actually go along with it, I guess.”
She dropped the hammer back into the box with a smirk. “Yeah. Like hell we’re gonna go along with it.” She eventually noticed the three of them walking over. “Oh! Ruby! Hey!”
“Hey, guys.” Ruby said with a polite wave.
“It’s good that you’re back.” Fox said as Ruby, Pyrrha and Jaune joined them. “We were starting to worry about you.”
“Oh, yeah...” Ruby replied sheepishly. “Sorry about running off like that...”
“Hey, it’s fine!” Coco said reassuringly. “I mean, you were worried for a good reason.”
Fox nodded. “Agreed. This isn’t exactly a good situation to be in.”
“Preaching with the choir on that one...” Ruby said with a laugh. “What do you guys reckon this place is?”
“It said it was some kind of storage room on the door,” Coco answered, swiftly taking a screwdriver from a different box on the shelf. “But it only seems to be storing random crap.”
“I can see that.” Jaune quipped from behind them.
“What do you think all of this is being stored for?” Pyrrha asked.
Fox shrugged as Coco tossed the screwdriver back into the box. “Not sure. But some of the tools here could be used to aid our escape.”
Pyrrha’s eyes quickly scanned some of the items on nearby shelves. “We have various tools and flashlights...So I see what you mean.”
Fox smirked. “Yeah. It was a pretty dumb move for that thing to provide stuff to help us escape, wasn’t it?”
Coco chimed in. “Yeah, like hell we’re going along with what he says!”
“Of course we aren’t gonna go along with it!” Ruby agreed.
Pyrrha smiled. “Yeah!”
Jaune nodded. “Mm-hmm.”
“Wow, you’ve amassed quite the following.” Coco said.
“Heheh...” Ruby laughed awkwardly. “I have been told I am good at leading people...”
“Hey, Oz didn’t put you as the team leader of team RWBY for no reason, you know.”
“Oh yeah, speaking of which.” Ruby asked. “Did either of you see Weiss, Blake or Yang on the way here?”
Fox shrugged. “I don’t think so...”
“That’s fine.” Pyrrha replied. “I’m sure we’ll find them somewhere.”
Ruby nodded. “Yeah!”
“Well, it’s best we not keep you any longer.” Fox said.
Ruby gave both of them a smile. “It was nice to talk.”
“Likewise.”
Ruby, Jaune and Pyrrha left the storage room and continued heading towards the dining hall.
Ruby was smiling. “That was nice, wasn’t it?”
Pyrrha nodded. “Yes. Talking to the others seems to be putting you in a better mood.”
Ruby laughed a little before turning over to Jaune. “Are we getting closer?”
“Yeah, actually.” Jaune replied. “We’ve only got a little while to go until we get to the dining hall.” He turned over to Pyrrha. “Do you reckon there’ll be people there?”
Pyrrha shrugged slightly. “Emerald’s lead is the only lead we have.”
“Mind if we join you?”
The three of them stopped at hearing someone else’s voice and turned around.
Ren and Nora had walked up to the group from behind them.
Nora waved cheerfully. “Heeeey!”
Ruby’s face lit up. “Guys!”
Jaune smiled. “Oh, hey. How long have you been following us?”
Nora raised an eyebrow. “You’re our team leader, we’re meant to follow you.”
“Very funny.” Pyrrha replied.
“We noticed you leave that room over there.” Ren said, gesturing towards the storage room. He still had the faded lotus in his hand. “We thought it would be a good idea to follow you.”
Jaune shrugged. “That makes sense-”
“Also,” Ren’s tone went a little serious. “We found something outside the academy you might want to see.”
“Wait, what?” Ruby asked.
“Oh, yeah!” Nora nodded. “Seriously! This is HUUUGE! It TOTALLY explains one of the things that Beochi guy said earlier!”
“What is it?”
“It’s a lot easier to show rather than tell.” Ren replied. “Trust me on this.”
Ruby looked towards Pyrrha nervously.
“Well,” Pyrrha said. “We’re headed towards the dining hall to see if we could find anyone. That leads to outside, so if you don’t mind taking a detour…?”
“That’s fine.”
“Okay!” Ruby said. “Let’s see if we can find anyone!”
At that, the five of them continued walking in the direction of the dining hall.
Even though she was trying to keep a positive attitude, what Ren and Nora had said had put Ruby on edge.
She quickly leaned over to Nora in an attempt to suppress her discomfort.
“Hey, Nora?”
“Mmhmm?”
“Before you show this to us...This...Thing you and Ren were talking about...How huge is it?”
“OH MY GOSH, IT’S MINDBLOWING.” Nora replied, articulating her point with her hands.
Ruby’s brow furrowed uncertainly. “...How mindblowing?”
“Well, let’s just say that one of the things Beochi said now makes SO much sense.”
Ruby gulped nervously.
“Let’s not focus on that for now.” Ren said calmly. “We’ll talk about it when the time comes.”
Pyrrha nodded. “That’s right. There’s no need to worry about it unnecessarily.”
“Y-yeah, I guess...” Ruby replied. She continued walking with the others when another door suddenly caught her attention.
Specifically, a door labelled “kitchen”.
Jaune had noticed. “Oh hey, Beochi actually kept the school’s kitchen.”
This prompted Ren, Nora and Pyrrha to turn around.
“Makes sense.” Nora said. “That thing did say there were plenty of resources for us to stay here.”
“He did also say that the only way out is through murder, so I’m taking that with a pinch of salt.” Ruby replied, already starting to push the door open.
Nora shrugged. “I dunno, he also seems to want us to stay here for some reason...”
“Point is, we’re looking inside.”
“Figures.”
Jaune sighed. “Do we have to? We’re pretty close to the dining hall now.”
Ren shrugged, as him and Pyrrha started to follow Ruby and Nora inside.
Jaune stood there for a few seconds.
“Guess that’s a yes.” He said to himself, following after them.
The room inside was like an industrial kitchen that you’d see in a school, but it had been scaled down to the size of a medium sized kitchen you’d find at home. Some of the cupboards had been left open, exposing large steel pots and frying pans inside, and a small electric kettle plugged in nearby a large stove.
“It doesn’t seem much has changed.” Ren noted.
“...Huh.” Ruby said. “Guess you were right, Nora.”
“See?” Nora replied, placing her hands on her hips with a smirk. “Told you!”
Jaune was confused. “...Why are we in here again? I thought we were heading to the dining hall.”
Pyrrha shrugged. “We’re looking around, I suppose.”
“We already know what the school looks like.”
“True, but there has been the apparent addition of new rooms. Looking around is understandable in this scenario.”
“Touché. Well, we’ve checked this room out, I think we should head.”
Ruby nodded. “Yeah, good ide-”
She stopped. Something on a countertop had caught her eye, so she walked back over to it and picked it up.
It was a meat cleaver, but not the kind you’d find in a kitchen. It was made of black metal with a dark rubber handle, and the blade was slightly rounded.
She shuddered a little just from looking at it.
“What is it?” Jaune asked.
Ruby turned around, showing the cleaver to the others. “I...Don’t think this is for food.”
The others looked just as uneasy as she was when she found it.
“What the heck is that kinda thing doing here?” Nora asked, leaning in to get a closer look.
Ruby shrugged, tilting the cleaver a little so that the light moved up and down the blade. “I’m not sure...But whatever it is, I don’t like it...”
Jaune folded his arms. “Maybe it’s something to do with what Beochi said earlier.”
Ruby froze as he went on.
“Scarlet was right, Beochi had confiscated our weapons. He wants us to kill each other...” He walked over and took the cleaver from Ruby to get a closer look.
“...Looks like he’s trying to give us a method.”
Ruby stuttered nervously. “W-wait, let’s not jump to conclusions! I mean sure, it doesn’t LOOK like a kitchen utensil, but I don’t think it’s an actual weapon-!”
“What, did you guys find something too?”
Ruby stopped after hearing the voice, and turned around to see Yatsuhashi and Velvet walking inside.
“Oh. Hey.” Ruby replied with a wave.
“Hey.” Yatsuhashi replied, his gaze quickly falling on the cleaver in Jaune’s hand. “And it looks like I was right.”
“Ruby found it on the counter. We were just looking over it when you guys came in.” Jaune said. “And you said that you found something…?”
Velvet nodded, showing something in her hand to the group. “Yeah, you might want to take a look at this.”
Ruby’s eyes widened when she saw what it was. Or more specifically, what they were.
“Kunais?” Ren noted as he saw the small set of throwing knives in Velvet’s hand.
“Yeah.” Velvet said with a nod, retracting her hand back. “Yatsu and I found them in a classroom on the way here.”
Ren’s eyes narrowed. “It looks like Jaune’s idea might not be too far off after all.”
Ruby shivered at the thought.
“What should we do with them?” Pyrrha asked. “We shouldn’t just leave them lying around, but we have nowhere else to put them.”
Yatsuhashi thought for a moment.
“Well, Ruby found that cleaver on the counter, right? We could put both things back there for now until we find somewhere else.”
Nora nodded. “Yeah, good call.”
This prompted Velvet and Jaune to walk over to the counter, both laying their respective weapons down on the surface.
Ruby was still on edge. I mean, we can’t possibly go along with what Beochi said...Right?
Yatsuhashi had noticed. “Hey.”
“Huh?” Ruby said, looking up at him.
“I wouldn’t worry.” He had a calm smile. “It doesn’t matter what Beochi can throw at us. He won’t be able to break the bonds that we have.”
“...You really think so?”
Velvet nodded. “Of course! I mean, we’re all friends, aren’t we? The only reason we’ve got so far as students is because of each other!”
“Exactly.” Yatsuhashi seconded. “I don’t feel that there’s any need to panic.”
Similarly to her talk with Coco and Fox earlier, Velvet and Yatsuhashi’s words seemed to have calmed Ruby down.
She slowly smiled again and nodded. “Yeah, that’s right!”
He laughed a little to himself. “Thought so.”
He gestured towards the door. “We’re going to try and find Coco and Fox. Do you want to come with us?”
Jaune shook his head. “We have other things to deal with. But if you need some help, we last saw them in that storage room down the hall.”
“Oh! Great!” Velvet replied happily.
“Actually while we’re on that subject,” Ruby asked. “Have either of you seen the rest of my team?”
“Hm...” Velvet put her hand to her chin, her ears folding over slightly in thought, before they quickly folded back up again as she got the answer she was looking for. “Oh! I do remember briefly seeing Weiss heading outside.”
“That’s a start!” Ruby turned over to Ren and Nora. “And the thing you want to show us is outside, right?”
Ren nodded.
“Great!”
“I guess that’s our cue to part ways.” Yatsuhashi said, as him and Velvet started to leave.
Velvet waved. “See you soon!”
Ruby waved back with a smile until the two of them had disappeared from view.
She turned back over to the others. “Do you reckon we’ll find anyone in the dining hall?”
Nora shrugged. “Even if we don’t, it’s pretty easy to get outside from there.”
“Either way, it’s our best bet right now.” Jaune said, walking in the direction of the door. “Let’s go.”
Ruby nodded, swiftly taking the leading position as the others followed her out.
“Okay...” She said to herself, as they got closer to the dining hall. “So far we’ve seen Mercury, Emerald, team CFVY and the rest of team JNPR...” She counted the heads she remembered seeing on her fingers. “So...If I remember correctly from who else was in that room...”
She put her hand to her chin thoughtfully as they finally got to the room they were looking for. “We’re still to see Penny, the rest of my team, and team SSSN-”
“Oh, speak of the devil.” Jaune said.
“Huh?” Ruby looked back up.
She was used to seeing the dining hall filled up with the various academy students, so seeing the rows upon rows of empty tables made her feel a bit uneasy.
However, that quickly faded when she saw who Jaune was referring to.
Sun and Neptune were a short distance away from them, and were apparently mid-conversation when Ruby and team JNPR walked in.
“Look, I want to get out of this as much as the next guy,” They heard Neptune say. “But I don’t think fighting him directly is a good idea.”
“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try!” Sun replied confidently. “I mean sure, we don’t have our weapons, but we still know how to fight! If we’re able to take down giant city-destroying monsters, then we’ll be able to take down that little rat who thinks he can order us around!”
“...You DO remember what happened when Yang tried to fight him, right?”
“Well yeah he exploded, but we’ve dealt with explosions before!”
Neptune was about to say something then stopped, as if thinking for a moment, before replying “Okay, you got me there.”
Ruby was about to say “hi” to the pair, when Jaune beat her to it.
“True, but we haven’t dealt with tiny exploding Beowolves who want us to kill each other before.”
Sun and Neptune jumped backwards at the sound of Jaune’s voice.
“Holy FUCK, man! You scared the shit out of me!”
Jaune laughed. “Hey, I finally got a one-up on you!”
Ren raised an eyebrow. “Finally?”
“PLEASE don’t do that again…!” Neptune said with a sigh of slight relief.
Jaune shrugged with a sly grin. “Can’t make any promises.”
It took a few seconds before Sun noticed that Ruby was with them.
“Oh, would’ya look at who it is!” He said, with a smile and a wave in her direction. “Hey there!”
Ruby ran down to them, slowly but surely followed by team JNPR. “Hi!”
“Good to see you again.” Neptune said, raising his eyebrow in slight concern. “You doing okay?”
Ruby shrugged. “As okay as I can be in this kinda situation, I guess...”
“Great!” Sun replied. “It’s good that you’re feeling better, huh?”
“Guess so.” Ruby said. “Oh, did you see where Weiss, Blake and Yang went after that opening ceremony thing?”
Sun thought for a moment, his tail slowly flicking from side to side. He turned to Neptune, who shrugged.
“Nope.”
“But Scarlet and Sage headed outside, I think.”
“Then what are you two doing in here?” Jaune asked. “Sun, you ARE their leader. Shouldn’t you be with them?”
Sun put his hand behind his head awkwardly. “Yeah, Scarlet isn’t that much of a talker...”
“Huh?” Ruby tilted her head in confusion. “But...You’re his leader?”
“Yeah, I know! Nep and I have known the guy for nearly a year! But any attempt at conversation and all I get is sarcasm, one-word answers and death glares...”
Ruby looked even more confused. “...But he doesn’t seem like that when I talk with him, though...”
“Yeah, for some reason there’s only a small list of people he’s actually willing to talk to.” Neptune replied with an annoyed sigh. “A VERY small list.”
“From what you described,” Ren put his hand to his chin thoughtfully. “It sounds like he has a severe lack of trust.”
“VERY severe.” Sun added. “So Nep and I were just chilling here so we can figure out what to do.”
“Ooh~!” Nora mused with a smirk. “You boys think you know what’ll make that thing tick?”
“Of course we do!” Sun replied with a smirk of his own. “We’re Junior Detectives!”
Jaune gave them an skeptical look. “...You didn’t even work with that sheriff for a day. I don’t think you qualify as junior detectives.”
Neptune pouted and dramatically turned away in mock anger.
“You’re just jealous.” Sun replied nonchalantly.
Ruby laughed a little. The two best friends’ antics couldn’t help but crack her up.
“I reckon that’s our cue to head.” Nora said.
“Oh, yeah!” Ruby turned over to her. “Outside, right? So you can show us what you were talking about?”
“Uh-huh! And I think some of the others are out there too.”
“Of course…!” Ruby turned back over to Sun and Neptune. “Sorry we couldn’t stay for long.”
“It’s cool.” Neptune replied.
Sun gave the group a thumbs up. “Good luck finding whatever you’re looking for.”
Ruby nodded and led the group outside to the academy courtyard.
Everything outside the academy seemed about the same, with green grass plains, cobblestone paths, and water fountains and benches scattered around the area.
“It just doesn’t feel right when it’s so empty...” Ruby thought out loud, looking around the area uneasily.
Team JNPR nodded in agreement.
“Usually this area would be filled with students on their break.” Ren noted, gesturing around with his hand. “Some would be sparring over there, some chatting on the bench over there, others going over some notes from class over there...”
“It just feels...Bare.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” He mused thoughtfully. “It’s quite unsettling.”
“Yeah, it-”
Ruby was about to continue when something in the sky caught her eye, causing her to stop in her tracks.
Ren obviously noticed. “What’s wro-” He started, before noticing what Ruby had seen. “...Oh.”
The distant shape was pretty big and almost cone-like in shape. It was far away, but she could see that it had pathways and docking bays leading inside of it, as well as a massive dust crystal at the bottom.
“...Is that what I think it is…!?”
The others had noticed too.
Pyrrha turned over to Nora. “Is this what you and Ren wanted to show us?”
Nora shook her head. “Nope. But that can wait!” She pointed over to the shape in the sky. “What the heck is Amity Colosseum doing here!?”
“We need to get closer.” Jaune said. “To make sure that it’s actually the colosseum and that we aren’t all seeing things.”
“Good call.” Ruby replied.
They ran over to it, eventually stopping underneath it’s vast shadow. Even though it was pretty high up, the dust crystal at the bottom was a lot clearer to see.
Nora made a salute-like gesture, as if shielding the outside light from her eyes to get a closer look. “Yup, that’s definitely Amity Colosseum.” She put her hand down. “But what the heck is it doing here!?”
“Bear in mind that the Vytal Festival Tournament isn’t too far away, Nora.” Ren replied.
“Well yeah, but isn’t it usually further away from the school?”
“Maybe Beochi somehow pulled it over to here.” Jaune suggested.
“He’s a tiny Beowolf robot thing! He would not be able to pull that!”
“We don’t know what he’s capable of, y’know.”
While team JNPR debated over the purpose of the colosseum, Ruby couldn’t help but notice that they weren’t the only people there.
Penny was a short distance away from them, also surveying the floating structure above them with a puzzled expression.
Ruby walked over to her. “Hey, Penny!”
Her gaze snapped over to Ruby at the mention of her name. “Oh! Salutations, Ruby!” She said with a smile and a polite wave.
Ruby gestured back up. “You, uh, confused about the colosseum too?”
Penny frowned and looked back up at it. “It doesn’t make any logical sense to be here...Especially with the fact that there’s no reasonable way to get in.”
She was right. There wasn’t any obvious entrance inside, and there didn’t seem to be any airships around the campus to fly up to any of the docking bays.
“Yeah...Even if I tried to use my semblance to get up there, I’m not sure I could get that far...”
Penny hummed thoughtfully. “Even if I had my swords, I’m not sure if they would be able to reach up there either.”
“Swords?” Ruby asked, before realising what Penny was implying. “Oh! Because of the strings, right?”
“Correct.” Penny said with a nod. “My initial aim was to see if I could use my swords to climb up to the colosseum. But your friend with the red hair seemed to be correct about that Beochi person confiscating our weapons.” She frowned. “My backpack wasn’t anywhere in the locker I was initially trapped in.”
“...You mean Scarlet, right?”
“Affirmative.” She pointed. “I just saw him and his friend with the coat heading that way not too long ago, as a matter of fact.”
“Oh, okay...” Ruby nodded. “Actually, speaking of which, have you seen the rest of my team anywhere?”
Penny hummed thoughtfully, putting a finger to her chin for a moment before snapping back to attention.
“I haven’t. I apologise.”
“No, it’s fine. I could ask Scarlet and Sage when I find them, anyway.”
“You two having fun?”
Ruby turned around at the sound of Jaune’s voice.
“O-oh!” She replied. “Sorry, I just noticed Penny over here and you guys seemed busy so-”
“It’s fine.”
Penny waved at the team. “Hello!”
“Hey.” Jaune turned back over to Ruby. “Nora and Ren are gonna show us what they were telling us about earlier. Coming?”
“Oh, yeah!” Ruby replied, turning over to see Penny. “Would you like to come with us?”
“I appreciate your offer Ruby, but I politely decline.” She replied. “I would like to survey more of the area myself, if you don’t mind.”
“That’s fine.” She waved. “I’ll see you later then.”
Penny waved back as Ruby and team JNPR walked away from the floating colosseum.
“So...” Ruby turned over to Ren and Nora. “What is it you wanted to show us?”
“Well...Remember what Beochi said about not being able to leave?”
“If I’m remembering right,” Jaune replied. “He said something about seeing what he meant when we go outside. Not really sure what he meant by that...”
“Well, THIS is what he meant!”
The group had stopped walking. Nora was gesturing at the air in front of them, with Ren standing calmly beside her.
Everyone looked at them.
“Uh...” Ruby started. “...What are we looking at?”
Nora didn’t reply for a few seconds.
She looked over to Ren. “...Are we at the right spot?”
Ren looked closer at where Nora had pointed out. “...Yes, we are.”
Ruby gave them a confused look. “...Still not giving us any clues.”
“Well...” Nora pointed to a little further off where she was pointing earlier.
“Try to walk over here.”
Everyone was silent again.
Jaune gave her a sarcastic look. “...Really.”
“Really! Just do it! It’ll make sense, trust me!”
“Nora...” Pyrrha said. “It’s just an empty patch of land.”
“It ISN’T though!” Nora pointed more aggressively. “Just try to walk over there!”
Ruby was about to say something, when she noticed Ren giving the group a serious look. If Nora was making this up, he would usually be aiming that look towards her, but this time, he wasn’t.
Ruby sighed. “...If you say so...”
She took a few steps forward towards where Nora had pointed.
But just at where she was first pointing out earlier, she walked right into a wall.
Even though there wasn’t a wall there.
“Aah-!” Ruby recoiled back at the sudden contact, prompting Jaune and Pyrrha to jump back a little in surprise.
Ruby stopped.
...Did that really just happen?
Tentatively, she stuck her hand out.
Instead of going through the air like it should have, it hit a hard surface right where she had just walked into.
Disbelieving, she repeatedly tapped her hand against it, only to constantly meet what was blocking her path.
There was definitely something there.
“...What the…!?”
“You see?” Nora put her hand on her hip. “Told you it was important!”
Pyrrha walked over to Ruby to see if she was hurt. “Are you okay?”
Ruby rubbed a sore spot on her face from walking into the apparent invisible wall. “My forehead hurts...But other than that, I’m fine...”
Pyrrha turned her attention towards the invisible wall. “...What IS that?”
Jaune walked over to get a closer look. “...Seems like it’s some kind of forcefield made from hard light dust or something...” He knocked his hand against it a little. “...And a strong one at that.”
“That must have been what he was referring to earlier.” Ren gently ran his hand against the forcefield’s surface. “We have access to the outside area, but restricted to what’s under this forcefield.”
Ruby tensed up a little.
Jaune narrowed his eyes on the forcefield. “...Just how powerful IS that guy…!?”
“I think that’s better left undiscovered...”
Ruby shivered a little, but tried to stay optimistic.
“...W-well...There’s gotta be a dust crystal powering that thing, right?” She said.
Ren thought for a moment. “Well, going by the general laws as to how hard light dust is used and assuming the general size of the forcefield...There has to be a pretty big dust crystal or mechanism powering it.”
“Well, all we gotta do is destroy it!”
“I doubt that’ll be easy.” Jaune said. “Beochi has most likely thought ahead and hid it.”
“I know, but it’s just a matter of finding out where it is, right?” Ruby replied. “I mean, assuming we can find more weapons around the campus, all we have to do is find whatever is powering that forcefield and destroy it!” She pointed over at the forcefield. “Then the forcefield will be destroyed, and we can all leave!”
Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha and Ren all looked towards where Ruby was pointing.
It wasn’t as obvious before, but the area where the forcefield was did have a slight shimmer to it, like a mirage in a desert.
Ruby had an optimistic smile. “Does that sound good?”
Pyrrha nodded. “Yes, that’s a great idea.”
“Then that’s settled!” Ruby lightly tapped her fist against her palm, her silver eyes sparkling with determination. “That’ll be our mission! Finding that dust crystal and destroying the forcefield!”
“Destroying a dust crystal? HAH!” Nora laughed. “Now THAT’S something I can get behind!”
Ren smiled a little. “Easy, Nora. We still have to find it first.”
Nora deflated a little. “Aw...”
“We don’t have much of today left.” Jaune said. “So this will probably have to wait.”
Ruby stopped at what he had said and looked up at the sky. The blue was starting to be tinged with an orange hue, as if to forewarn the impending sunset.
“...Oh.”
“So, what should we do in the meantime?”
“I would suggest seeing how far this forcefield actually goes...” Ren turned his eye to the forcefield again, clutching the lotus in his hand a little tighter. “But I can already imagine that it covers the entire school. We would be going around in a circle.”
“But I guess we could look around some more.” Nora replied. “See if anything else’s different I guess.” She looked over at Ruby. “And maybe you might find wherever the hell the rest of your team is!”
“Of course...” Ruby said. Nora was right, she hadn’t seen the rest of team RWBY yet since the opening ceremony. “Yeah!”
“There’s also the rest of Sun’s team,” Jaune added. “We haven’t seen them either. We might be able to spot them around here...”
It was at this point that Ruby remembered something Penny said earlier.
She pointed. “This way!”
Jaune stopped. “What?”
“What do you mean, what?”
“You just pointed a random direction and said ‘this way’.”
“Oh, sorry...” Ruby laughed awkwardly, realising she had forgotten to add context. “When I was talking to Penny, she said she saw them heading this way.”
“Oh, okay.” Jaune nodded as he realised. “...So does that mean we’re heading that way now?”
Ruby turned to face him, smirking a little. “Do you even need to ask?”
Jaune smirked back. “Touché.”
The two of them laughed, before Ruby turned back around and started leading the group in that direction. “Let’s go!”
She wasn’t sure what time it was, but Jaune was apparently right that it was starting to get late. The horizon was starting to transcend into a gradient of orange, as the blue sky started to slowly but surely darken.
As they passed the outside of the academy building, Ruby couldn’t help but feel that the silhouette of the school felt a lot more...Imposing than usual.
She didn’t know why – maybe it was because of the new regime that Beochi had enacted earlier today – but the academy felt...Different somehow.
Ruby was so absorbed in this that she walked right into someone in front of her.
“Aah-!” She said in alarm, as the person she bumped into spun around to face her.
“Whoa, hey! You should watch where you’re-!” His angered voice suddenly softened as soon as he realised who he was talking to. “...Oh.”
As soon as she heard the person’s voice, it didn’t take Ruby long to realise either.
“Sorry Scarlet, I didn’t see you there-!”
“It’s fine.” He said reassuringly, a stark contrast to his tone of voice earlier. “How are you doing? I was worried when you ran off like that...”
“You were worried about me-?”
Scarlet avoided the question. “Are you okay now?”
Ruby shrugged. “...I guess...”
He smiled a little. “That’s good.”
Was he...Relieved?
Before Ruby could ask, his smile started to fade as soon as the others caught up.
“Oh, hey!” Nora said with a smile. “Seems Ruby was right about heading this way. Where’s the other one?”
Scarlet didn’t say anything. He just glared.
Nora blinked, before discreetly leaning to Ren.
“Sheesh, I think I can see what Neptune meant now...”
“Nora, don’t be disrespectful…!” Ren replied in a hushed tone.
“And I’m right here.” A voice said, causing the two of them to jump.
Sage was walking up to the group calmly, his long jacket flowing a little behind him.
Scarlet looked over to Sage. “Well?”
He shook his head. “It’s just as bad as I thought. I wasn’t able to see how much it covered, but that forcefield covers a lot of the area here.”
“Wait,” Ruby turned to face him. “You guys found that forcefield too!?”
Sage nodded. “We did. I’m unsure how Beochi got the materials to create it, though.”
Jaune shrugged. “Dust isn’t that hard to get, y’know.”
“It’s not just that.” Scarlet replied coldly. “There is obviously some kind of mechanism keeping the forcefield active.” His eyes – or eye that he left uncovered – narrowed. “And who in their bloody right mind would give those materials to him?”
Jaune flinched back a little at Scarlet’s bitter reply. “Okay, I see your point...”
“That bitter attitude wasn’t necessary, Scar.” Sage said sternly. Scarlet tutted annoyedly in response.
“Well, uh...” Ruby said, deciding to swiftly change the subject. “Have either of you seen the rest of my team anywhere?”
Scarlet didn’t say anything. He just pointed behind her.
“Eh?”
“I mean,” He said. “You might want to look behind you.”
“Wait, wha-”
Before Ruby could turn around someone tackle-hugged her from behind.
Since this had happened earlier, it was easy to guess who it was.
“Yang!” Ruby exclaimed, hugging her back tightly.
“Thank goodness you’re okay!” Yang said happily. “I was sososo worried about you!”
“I was worried about you guys!”
“Well I am not letting my baby sister be upset! I am now making it my personal mission to make you feel better!”
“Wait, what are you-”
“Starting NOW!” Yang lightly tickled Ruby’s side.
“AHAHAH! Yang, no stoHOHOP IT!”
“I cannot fall back now!” Yang said in a mockingly stern voice, as if imitating an Atlesian military officer. “My mission has only just BEGUN!” She continued tickling her sides without any mercy.
“NohOHOHO! Please officer, have mercYYYY-!”
The two of them continued with this for a few more seconds, before Yang finally relented.
“Do you surrender?” She asked with a smirk.
Ruby was breathless and red in the face. “I surrender…!”
“Good.” She said with a smile, getting up and offering Ruby a hand to help her up. “At ease, soldier.”
Ruby nodded, and as Yang pulled her back up, she remembered the other people around her.
Scarlet smirked. “Well, you’re popular.”
“Ehehe...” Ruby laughed embarrassedly. “Yang has a very...Uh...Violent way of cheering me up...”
Sage raised an eyebrow. “Evidently.”
Yang shrugged. “Well it worked.” She shot a smirk at Ruby while wiggling her fingers threateningly. “And I may have to put it into use again if it doesn’t last~!
Ruby flinched back. “U-understood!”
It was at this point that she noticed that Blake and Weiss were there too.
“Guys!” She exclaimed, immediately running over and pulling them both into bear hug.
Both of them were surprised by this, but eventually hugged Ruby back.
“It’s good to see you.” Blake said calmly as Ruby pulled back.
“Are you doing okay?” Weiss asked. “The situation that that thing has put us in is not favourable.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Ruby replied.
“‘Cause if you aren’t...” Yang wiggled her fingers again threateningly.
“YEAH I’M FINE.”
Scarlet smiled a little to himself.
“Anyway,” Sage said. “Scar and I are just going to head to our dorms. If there’s no need for further conversation with us, of course.”
Jaune shrugged. “That’s fine.”
The two of them started heading back inside the academy building, but Scarlet held back a little.
He gave Ruby a smile and a small wave. “I’ll see you in the morning, Ruby.”
Ruby nodded and waved back. “Yeah. See you.”
As Scarlet and Sage headed back inside, Ruby turned back over to the group – now with the addition of the rest of her team.
“Soooo...” Yang said questioningly. “Anything you guys find?”
“Well,” Ruby asked. “Did you guys find the forcefield?”
Yang blinked. “...The what?”
“Give me a second...” Ruby said, before telling them about the forcefield they had found earlier.
“There’s a forcefield around the academy?” Blake asked.
“Yeah.” Nora replied. “Ren and I found it earlier.”
“Yikes...” Yang replied.
“We had theorised that the forcefield was powered by a large dust crystal,” Ren explained. “But Scarlet had pointed out that it has to be kept active through some form of dust mechanism.”
“And then,” Pyrrha added. “There’s the fact that Beochi had access to these items at all.”
“Yeah.” Nora nodded. “If a tiny Beowolf robot whatever walked up to my counter and asked for this stuff, I would be a little fishy about it, y’know?”
“It may be a different story for whoever’s controlling him.” Blake said.
Ruby stopped. “Huh?”
“Think about it. Beochi may not be able to access these items on his own, but if there was someone controlling him, then they’d be able to get these materials pretty easily.”
“That’s a good point.” Jaune said. “I mean, I don’t think that a tiny Beowolf robot set this entire thing up alone. So there has to be someone controlling his actions, right?”
“Yeah. That’s right.” Blake nodded. “Or whoever created him at least.”
Ruby thought about this.
Is there really someone controlling him? And...Whoever it is is responsible for setting this entire killing game scenario up?...This is confusing...
“Let’s not focus on that for now.” Pyrrha said, giving Ruby a calm smile. “Tell them your plan, Ruby.”
“Me? Oh!” Ruby turned around to the rest of her team. “I was thinking earlier.” She looked over to Weiss. “Weiss, you know about dust. Whatever’s powering that thing has to be around here, right?”
“According to the general laws of how dust works...” Weiss said thoughtfully. “Yes, the dust mechanism keeping that forcefield active has to be in the academy somewhere.”
“Yeah! So that’ll be our mission!”
“...What will?”
Ren leaned over to her. “You forgot the context again.”
“Oh, sorry...” Ruby said before continuing. “Finding whatever the heck is powering that forcefield and destroying it! That’ll be our mission!”
Weiss thought for a moment. “...Technically...That does make sense. Good thinking, Ruby.”
“Aww, thanks BFF!”
“...No.”
“Yes.”
“Anyway,” Jaune cut in. “The only problem we have right now is finding it. We don’t know where this thing is, what it looks like, or if it even exists at all.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try!” Yang replied. “Like Weiss said, this thing has gotta be in the academy somewhere!”
“It’s just a matter of finding it and beating the crap outta it!” Nora seconded.
Yang pumped her fists. “Yeah! Now this woman’s speaking my language!”
“Then again,” Blake said, unsure. “Beochi might have taken this factor into account. It most likely will be very well hidden.”
“Pssh!” Yang waved her hand dismissively. “I can take anything that bastard’ll throw at me!”
Ruby nodded. “I know this seems risky, but it’s the only option we have. And it it works,” An optimistic smile crept onto her face. “We can all get out of here without anybody killing each other!”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
Ruby smiled. “Sound good? Then let’s get started-!”
“Hahaha, I don’t think so, sis.” Yang replied with a gentle tap on Ruby’s head. “It’s getting late. You need some rest.”
Pyrrha nodded in agreement. “I think we all need some rest.”
“Ohh, yeah.” Nora replied, with an exaggerated yawn. “I need to hit the sack REAL bad...”
“Yeah, good point...” Ruby replied. “It IS starting to get late...”
The sun was almost set, and the sky’s blue had started to darken into a navy-esque purple shade.
“Well, if everyone’s done here,” Jaune said. “I think the best thing to do is head to our dorms. Don’t you agree?”
Ren nodded. “We can further discuss our plans in the morning. But for now, I think we need some rest.”
“Yeah, good call.”
Pyrrha gave them a warm smile. “Then that’s settled. Shall we?”
Ruby opened the door to her dorm room and flicked the lights on.
Is this plan going to work? She thought as she headed into the bathroom to quickly brush her teeth. I mean, it’s plausible, but will it work?
She walked out of the bathroom, quickly hanging her hood on a peg on the wall.
But what if we don’t find this thing? Blake has a point, Beochi could have hidden it really well...Will we have to go along with this killing game after all?
She shook her head, forcing this thought out of her mind.
No. We aren’t gonna go along with this.
She turned the lights off and got under the covers.
“Just you wait, Beochi.” She said to herself. “Just you wait.”
Beochi was sitting at a desk in his office, swirling a red liquid in a glass in his hand when the door opened.
“There you are!” He said with slight annoyance. “About damn time you got here!”
“Cut the crap, Beochi.” The person snapped. “You technically don’t have authority over me.”
“Jeez...” Beochi tutted, putting his glass down. “Anyway, what’d you find?”
“They’re close.” They looked to the side thoughtfully. “This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought...”
“Yeah. No shit.” Beochi drummed his claws on the desk. “They’ve been in their teams for a while, they’re obviously gonna object to killing each other. Even if it’s to leave.”
“Then we’re going to need to give them a push in the right direction...”
He stopped. “What, you thought of the first motive already?”
They hummed. “Not yet. I’ll let you know when I do. We’re getting the motive out tomorrow.”
“That fast?”
“Of course. Can’t let this game you and I set up go to waste, now can we?”
A smile crept across their face.
“Let’s get this show on the road.”
#DanganRWBY#rwby fanfiction#fanfic#rwby#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#jnpr#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#pyrrha nikos#lie ren#sssn#sun wukong#scarlet david#sage ayana#neptune vasilias#cfvy#coco adel#fox alistair#velvet scarlatina#yatsuhashi daichi#mercury black#emerald sustrai#penny polendina#Beochi#OwO cliffhanger~
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Eyes Closed (M)
G-Dragon: Angst/Small amount of fluff/Smut
PART 9-A: Telephone Games
A/N: more to come soon
P.S: songs for your listening pleasure (The Horrors)
(Part One)||(Part Two-A)||(Part Two-B)||(Part Three)||(Part Four)||(Part Five-A)||(Part Five-B)||(Part Five-C)||(Part Six)(Part Seven)||(Part Eight)||(Part Nine-B)
Ji-Yong twirled his phone in his hands before unlocking it for the hundredth time before sighing heavily and locking it back up.
“You know, they say doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insanity right?” Young-Bae raised an eyebrow.
Ji-Yong ignoring his best friend, absentmindedly scoffed as he stared at the black screen of his phone.
“How many weeks is it now that you’ve been waiting for her to hit you up?”
“I don’t know I lost count...but I’m betting less than the amount of texts I’ve sent her” Ji-Yong sighed as he plopped his phone on his chest as he slunk into the couch “the fucked up thing is that she never has her read receipts on but she turned them on just so I could see she that she left me on read...”
“Ouch, that’s a bit harsh”
“A bit? She’s rubbing that bullshit excuse for a relationship in my face” he furrowed his brows.
“By not responding to your texts?”
“In case you’ve forgotten, any of those millions of pictures she’s been posting of her and that asshole, she made it official. Like to the public! God! it’s like even when we first got together we kept it as low key as we could for a while but suddenly she just wants everyone and their mother to know how great her newfound relationship with Satan is”
“I mean you did kinda rub your non existent, happy relationship with Cassie in her face so—”
“So nothing! That wasn’t an invite for her to stay pissed at me while she’s out ‘having the time of her life’ and rub it in my face”
“What did you want her to do exactly?”
“I don’t fucking know! Tell me that she’s sorry and she made a mistake and she needs me back”
“So you basically want her to feel guilty for being in a functioning relationship with someone else?”
“I guess when you put it that way then...yeah, kinda...yeah”
Young-Bae sighed as he sat on the couch beside his best friend.
“I’ve done everything she wanted me to do and yet here I am still not with her! I mean I got sober!—for the most part at least...I haven’t fucked anyone else!—except for those three girls in Japan I tried to distract myself with...but she practically has me crawling on my hands and knees begging her to get back with me”
“I mean she does think you have a girlfriend…”
“That’s beside the point!”
“I don’t know maybe just tell her Cassie isn’t your actual girlfriend? Maybe just tell her the truth? Ever think about that?”
“And run the risk of her getting even more pissed at me for lying? I think I’m good”
Young-Bae sighed heavily “you ever think about just moving on? Clearly she has”
Jiyong raised an eyebrow “you’re joking right? Besides, I can’t just ‘move on…”
“Why not?”
“Because I love her. And I know I fucked up, on more than one occasion, but I wanna make up for it before I don’t get the chance to”
Young-Bae nodded his head absentmindedly
“Also because I just can’t...I can’t. Physically, mentally I can’t. And I know it sounds stupid but I can’t”
“Doesn’t sound stupid, just tiresome for the both of you”
Ji-Yong bit his lip as he sat in deep thought for a moment.
“Okay let’s say that, for instance, I were to just let her go and I ‘move on’ with someone else” he air quoted “--further down the line we’re able to see each other happy with someone else and not have any kind of feelings for one another and we manage to be best friends again—”
“Doesn’t sound like a bad scenario to me” Young-Bae interjected.
“—let’s say that even further down the line, a year from now, two years from now things go great with both of our significant others and one day she calls me up all excited to tell me she got engaged to him—”
Young-Bae opened his mouth to speak, Ji-Yong held up a hand to shush him before he could utter a single syllable
“Then it hits me like a ton of bricks that I in-fact am not only not over her, but this wave of panic takes over me and come the day of her wedding all I’m gonna wanna do is to get wasted and tell her I’m still in love her and that she’s making a huge mistake marrying him and she should just run away with me. But then she tells me that she doesn’t feel that same way anymore and she marries him any way. But where the hell does that leave me Young-Bae? Huh? Where does that leave me? All alone wishing I had done something earlier”
He had gotten so worked up he stood up mid monologue.
“I mean you see I’m in the right here, right?” Ji-Yong turned his body toward him.
“Honestly I’m not so inclined to tell you where I stand on this whole mess between the two of you”
“What why not?”
“Because no matter what I say, you two do the complete opposite and frankly just don’t know how to help anymore. I will be here for you until the very end but I just don’t know how to help either of you”
Ji-Yong furrowed his brows.
Young-Bae crossed his arms across his chest “sure you say you got ‘sober’ and you haven’t screwed anyone else, not counting those three girls, but...do you honestly think you can change at this point?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“What I think I’m trying to say is, Ji-Yong nobody believes you anymore. You’re a sad ass liar”
“What did you just call me?”
“You deserve to be lonely”
“What the fuck Young-Bae?!”
“You can’t change. You wouldn’t know how to even if you actually tried”
Ji-Yong squared up to his best friend.
“She is much happier with him...you? You’ll only be the end of her...you’re just poison”
The words and the image of his best friend started to become distorted as his words began to echo in his head as if in some horror movie.
Tossing and turning in bed he awoke in a cold sweat
“Fuck!”
He ran his hands over his face before he turned to face the glowing green numbers on his alarm clock on his night stand. Three AM.
‘Goddamn it’ he thought
He sat up on one elbow to reach across the night stand to grab his phone. He groaned as he hit the home button prompting the screen to turn on blinding him with the light. He shut one eye as he turned down the brightness and began to scroll through his texts. He bit his lip contemplating opening the thread that read ‘Alex’.
He had finally changed her name in his phone, considering he had called her now on more than one occasion, he wasn’t afraid of drunk dialing her anymore. What he was afraid of was that the reason she wasn’t responding was because she had blocked his number and all together tossed any and all memory of him in the figurative garbage.
For the past month and a half, Ji-Yong had for the most part managed to stay sober despite his own brain clawing at his skull telling him to just down a few bottles until he wound up in the hospital again; that way she would have to come see him. And with his onset new sobriety, he’s even managed to stay celibate somehow. Though in retrospect he thought he went a bit overboard with trying to clean his act up. With his body not used to not having some sort of release it had inadvertently made him sensitive to the human touch. Just days prior at press junket during the translators speaking to the press, Seung-Hyun had leaned over to whisper something in Ji-Yong’s ear and it almost instantaneously sent shivers down his spine. Since then the others had teased Ji-Yong relentlessly randomly blowing on his neck, massaging his head and so on and so forth. Not having sex for as long as he had, had only made him rely on his imagination and his right hand. Though admittedly it just wasn’t the same as watching the person beneath beneath him squirm and claw at his back in ecstasy.
His thumb hesitantly hovered over her name in bold black text in his recent calls list; he weighed his options in his head as his bit his lip.
‘Was twenty-two unanswered calls one too many past desperate?’ he thought.
He sighed heavily placing one arm behind his head and leaning back into his mountain of pillows.
“Fuck it” he muttered to himself pressing dial anticipating the robotic voice he had come to know far too well.
Sure enough, not even a full ring on the receiver and he was sent directly to voicemail. Sighing again, he pulled his phone away from his ear readying to hang up as the robotic woman delivered her speech he had come to know by heart. Just as his finger was mere centimeters away from the red button he retracted his finger placing the phone back up to his ear.
‘--Please leave your message after the tone’
He took a deep breath before speaking
“Hey uh Alex its me...Ji-Yong” he chuckled awkwardly “I mean I guess you already know that ‘cause of the caller ID...umm it’s three AM here...I--I thought I’d actually leave you a message finally. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay...you hadn’t called me back so--just let me know how you’re doing...even just a--”
Two beeps signaling the call ending cut him off mid sentence.
“Mother fucker...” he muttered as he plopped his phone onto his chest and slunk even further into his sea of pillows and bed sheets.
He wasn’t sure where to go from here. He had tried his best to backpedal from when his own plan backfired straight onto his face the night of the dinner with Suho and company, though his efforts were all for naught. It had been a month and a half now and he still hadn’t heard back from Alex. At this point things weren’t looking to be in his favor; or so he felt that way.
“A-Bomb, calm down!”
“Liar!” she slurred as she drunkenly threw another half eaten chocolate at the mural advertisement on the side of the building.
“You’re wasting perfectly good chocolate!” Sash struggled behind Alex trying to grasp her by the wrist “besides the Guess model with the nice ass didn’t do anything to you!”
“No!”
“Alex, give me the box of chocolates!”
“No!” she wriggled herself free sprinting in the opposite direction.
“Alexandra!” Sash panted as she chased behind her.
“No, she’s fine...” Saige sighed as she looked behind her “we’re walking back from the pub to the hotel now”
‘All that yelling doesn’t sound fine to me’
“Don’t even worry, she’ll be over it soon”
‘I just don’t want her to have some sort of meltdown at that award show for it to be broadcasted for millions of people to see. Saige, you promised me that this new guy was going to help keep her reputation in pristine status’
“Chill out Davis, trust me on this. This guy is actually good for her, if not just making her look good”
‘Looking good is part of her job, that’s not the problem Sai--’
“To the public!” she scoffed “you know what I meant”
‘Listen, all I want out of this is that this show makes it look like she got her shit together and judging by how things sound on your end I am not so convinced’
“They’ve made it this far without her looking like a complete lunatic--”
‘Have you gone deaf or am I the only one hearing her screaming ‘fuck these stupid fucking chocolates’ Saige?’
“Trust me--”
‘You keep telling me to trust you Saige but your argument is mute!’
“Listen to me you hard headed genius of a man!” she huffed into the receiver “you asked me to take over her social media and make it look like she’s unbelievably happy and in love, and did I deliver?”
‘Yes…’
“You asked me to make sure she didn’t run her career into the ground when she came back to Seoul a few months ago, and did I not do that?”
‘It didn’t exactly go as smoothly as I asked...’ he sighed.
“Did I or did I not manage to turn that scandle into making her look good?”
‘Yes, but she almost went completely off the deep end with that asshole again Saige! Don’t think I didn’t find out about that’
“That is besides the point!” she scoffed “point is I got her to open her eyes, and with a little coaxing from Suho and from the douchebag’s own stupidity, she made the right choice and chose Suho”
‘This isn’t another episode of Grey’s Anatomy of McDreamy VS. McVet we’re talking about here kid, we’re talking about one of my biggest money makers almost running away with the Rebel Without a Cause and costing me lots of money when she can’t film anything because she’s either too distraught to work or because studios don’t want her because she has too much baggage following her!’
“Okay, first of all don’t talk about her like she’s some piggy bank” she furrowed her brows “you’ve known her since she was like twelve! And secondly the big picture here is Davis, she didn’t run away with that egotistical sadomasochist--”
‘The big picture here Saige, is she’s drunkenly running around throwing confectioneries on the darkened street corners of London at two in the morning!’
She sighed heavily.
‘Listen…’ he paused ‘I get that you have got your work cut out for you especially since you are her best friend, and I know sometimes it’s hard to draw the line between PR rep and her best friend but I won’t allow her to make her make a mockery of herself and this agency again. Only way I’ll let her even show up to that award show is if you guarantee me she and that new guy make as big of headlines as the Royal Wedding and if she has absolutely zero contact with that dragon mother fucker’
“Don’t even worry I’m already way ahead of you on that…”
‘Meaning?’
“Meaning that since you’ve had me manage her social media that means I am in full control of her phone...”
‘Go on keep talking’
“And ‘dragon mother fucker’ for the past month and a half since they saw each other last, has been relentlessly trying to contact her so I’ve just--more or less been withholding that information from her and deleting the messages; hence the drunken meltdown, she thinks he’s completely forgotten about her”
‘You keeping secrets from her now?’
She could hear the amused grin spreading across his face.
“What she doesn’t know wont hurt her...besides her being this pissed at him will only make it easier for her not wanting anything to do with him at the award show or any time after that. If she thinks he just up and moved on with that girl he’s supposedly dating she has no choice but to swallow her pride and move on too; for good”
He chuckled ‘wouldn’t be show business if a little scheming wasn’t involved. I love it, keep her as far removed from him as possible, soon enough he’ll be nothing more than a memory; if we’re lucky he won’t be anything at all to her any time soon’
“We can only hope, and Suho is completely onboard with the idea so that’s another person in our corner”
‘The new boyfriend is even in on this?!’ he cackled ‘oh Saige, I knew you were the best of the best but this is just fantastic! But aren’t you scared of what she’ll do to you if she finds out this whole plan of yours?’
She bit her lip “I’ve thought about it--”
‘And?’
“And she might--no, she will hate me but it’s in her best interest. Besides he’s been helping keeping her distracted by taking her on dates and umm… keeping her physically entertained…”
‘She hates to work out, she likes this guy that much?’
“Sometimes I wonder how you’ve managed to become a multimillionaire with the things that come out of your mouth” she scoffed “sex Davis, I’m talking about sex!”
‘Oh! Well why didn’t you just say they’ve been fucking then?!’ he cackled again.
“Didn’t really think that’d be suiting conversation to have with my boss”
‘So what happened tonight then? Sex got stale all of a sudden?’ he chortled.
She made a eugh noise “oh no they had sex, multiple times so she said. She just came knocking on my room door saying that she couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to bother him and since the pubs stay open late here she said she just wanted to get a few drinks to maybe help her chill out and then two hours and three heart-shaped boxes of chocolates later and well here we are...she’s piss ass drunk throwing chocolates all over the place and yelling at denim advertisements”
‘Well aside from her drunken rampage it seems like you have things more under control that I thought. Keep it that way, and keep that dragon guy as far away from her as possible’
“Oh, believe me I plan to”
#g dragon smut#g dragon scenarios#g dragon fanfiction#g dragon imagines#g dragon fluff#gdragon scenarios#gdragon fanfiction#gdragon smut#gdragon angst#gdragon imagines#bigbang scenarios#bigbang fanfic#bigbang fanfiction#bigbang imagines#bigbang angst
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Sangwoo, Sex, and Sadism
Please note: This meta heavily references the theory I put forth in this other meta I wrote about Sangwoo (x). If you have not yet read it, I strongly recommend doing so before continuing, because a lot of my thoughts on what’s going on with Sangwoo here are built on that theory.
You know, I’m gonna be honest. I always just assumed one of the main reasons Sangwoo kept his victims alive for a while was because, in addition to torturing them, he was using them sexually. This is kind of a gold standard for the horror genera as well as R-18 BL stories that deal with control dynamics, and let’s face it: Sangwoo enjoys hurting people. It’s not a far leap to make. However, when I started to really look at things…believe it or not, it got harder and harder for me to build a case.
Let’s consider the first couple of scenes that set up our expectations for Sangwoo as a killer and a character:
The first thing we’re exposed to, regarding Sangwoo as a Serial Killer, is the woman Bum finds in his basement. She’s bound and gagged and broken legged, but she’s definitely wearing underwear. We know this is not because Koogi is shy about drawing nudity, and it’s sure as hell not because Sangwoo thinks his victims deserve dignity. As far as Sangwoo is concerned, she’s never going to see the light of day again, so if he’s using her in that way, why not just leave her fully undressed?
(That’s a no on dignity.)
Koogi’s pretty great when it comes to storytelling and showing us relevant details, like Sangwoo’s dashcam recording, or the fact that everyone who goes into the upstairs bedroom looks at that one section of the wall with concern.
In this scene she shows us the victim’s rope burns, a red-stained water pipe handle, and an open tool box containing dangerous objects and restraining tape, yet we really don’t see any evidence of Sangwoo having raped the woman. There’s no bruising or blood on her inner thighs, there’re no condoms or torn wrappers anywhere (and we know Sangwoo cares), and here’s the kicker: the opening of chapter three shows a series of images that lead the reader to believe Sangwoo is raping Bum…and then, low and behold, he isn’t.
Although Bum lives in constant fear of Sangwoo’s physical and emotional violence, I can’t remember a single time when he threatened Bum with sexual violence. In fact, the one time Bum offers him sex when he’s angry, rather than taking him up on it and incorporating sex into his punishment, he punches Bum in the face and acts insulted.
That is not the behavior of someone who’s into punishing his victims sexually. In fact, he seems almost disgusted that Bum would suggest blurring the two activities.
Initially, I thought Sangwoo got off on causing pain primarily because of two scenes: the one where he jerks off on Bum’s feet while he’s choking him, and the one when he’s thinking about killing Bum while choking the telephone poll, and gets a hard on. Add in the fact that his idea of consent is pretty dubious, and that he’s not exactly gentle when he fucks Bum—with the dildo or his dick—and it’s easy to simply apply the label of ‘sadist’ and move on. However, when I looked closer, all these cases had alternate explanations that actually made more sense given his character.
Though he doesn’t look like it on the surface due to his intense overcompensation, Sangwoo is actually very needy for praise and approval.
In the scene in which Sangwoo is punishing Bum for trying to run away, he’s angry and in full-on killer mode when he hangs Bum. Although at first he’s all, “A lot of things are gonna happen where you’re lying down,” while stripping, again Koogi is just messing with us. He immediately clarifies his intent: “In case you’re wondering, I took my clothes off because they’re wet,” a.k.a. “not because you and I are about to have sexy times.”
He doesn’t have a hard on in any of the shots of his pants until Bum is in the air. In fact, as previously mentioned, he just gets angrier when Bum offers him sex. While he’s clearly enjoying the power high of punishing him, there’s actually no evidence that he’s getting off sexually until Bum starts calling his name over and over.
Observe his scowl in the last panel. Sangwoo actually looks irritated that he has to switch gears. If he enjoyed pairing sex with violence, he’d expect to get hard—not seem surprised and inconvenienced by it. He’d also probably attempt to amp up Bum’s pain level the closer he got to climax, where he actually seems compelled to dissipate it. He hurriedly lifts Bum to kneel on his chest, so as to take the pressure off his throat until he’s finished.
Honestly, I think what we’re seeing here is that…though he clearly enjoys having power over Bum, that’s not what he’s getting off on. What turns him on is actually Bum’s appeal to him as a human being.
Compare it against the scene before it, where Bum treated him like the psycho he is, and Sangwoo got increasingly agitated:
Remember, there’s a reason why Stockholm Syndrome is a thing—it occurs when victims are forced to empathize with their captors in order to survive. And the reason it happens is because it does, in fact, up a victim’s chances of survival. This is because bad people don’t usually see themselves as bad—they see themselves as victims, forced to do “bad” things in order to survive, or to obtain justice for perceived mistreatment, or whatever their rationales are.
Like Sangwoo says:
While Sangwoo might have been angry at Bum for trying to run, he couldn’t change the fact that what he wants, more than anything else, is to be seen for who he is rather than the violent things he does. He’s desperate to be seen as a better person than he is (as someone who isn’t “like his father”), so when Bum begs Sangwoo for mercy by name, Sangwoo’s need for validation temporarily overrides his desire for vengeance.
I can only speculate, but I think Sangwoo’s response might have been something like, ‘He doesn’t view me as a psycho --> he likes me even more than my mom did --> holy shit that’s hot.’ Because it looks like even he’s caught off guard by the intensity of it.
Despite having almost zero self control, and always being at the mercy of his uncontrollable rage, I think a small part of him is aware enough to understand assault and love aren’t supposed to go together. And eeevery once in a while, he manages to keep his head above water long enough to make a rational decision.
Although he follows up by drowning and cutting Bum, he doesn’t kill him—which is a step forward from all his previous victims.
This statement reinforces that: he knows he’s dangerously close to killing Bum, but that he’ll regret it if he does--unlike with any of his previous victims (aside from his mother), whom he exhibits absolutely no remorse for.
I think that, rather than evidence of Sangwoo being a sadist, this scene tells us just how desperate he is for someone to emotionally validate him.
If you consider that Sangwoo might be looking for someone who won’t “betray him” like his mother did, each victim was probably an attempt to find someone who would love all of him, including the insane parts. Except they all resulted in failure until Bum, which is why he looked so astonished when he kept calling to him.
Moreover, I think this exchange is actually the one that ultimately differentiates Bum from all his previous victims, as the one capable of “loving” him despite knowing he’s a killer. And this is important because, I’m pretty sure, this is why Sangwoo started killing people in the first place.
Note that even after he started keeping Bum, Sangwoo continued sharking for victims prior to this event. In chapter 5, as soon as Bum was out of the basement someone else took his place:
And in chapter 8, Sangwoo was seeing yet another woman:
However, Koogi never showed him killing her.
After this event with Bum, with the exception of the victims Sangwoo brings in as part of his plan to entrap Bum, there’s no evidence that he continued killing. I think this is probably because the need that was driving his psychosis was finally met.
I think the same dynamic is also in play when he gets hard while punching the telephone poll:
If we look at the sequence of pictures in chapter 13, though he’s yelling about killing Bum, he’s thinking of the times Bum’s been sexually sweet and vulnerable with him—the times Sangwoo considers as “proof” that Bum loves him.
This scene is hard to pull apart because it throws a lot of information about Sangwoo’s state of mind at us, all at once. But ultimately, it shows us that he’s terrified Bum escaping--not because he could go to the police (because that’s never mentioned or even referenced), but because it would mean that Bum had lied about loving him.
And if Bum had lied about that, it would confirm that Bum viewed him as a violent monster (someone like his father), rather than someone genuinely lovable—which is exactly what his mother thought, hence that flash of her.
In his mind, she’s laughing at him from beyond the grave because she’s been proven right.
I don’t think he’s getting hard because he’s thinking of his mother here. If anything, he’s getting increasingly frightened and enraged at the prospect of her being right. That’s why he impulsively punches the pole—because he’s trying to stop her from laughing at him.
I’m pretty sure the thing that made him hard was, once again, Bum’s having been vulnerable with him.
How can we tell? Because of the choice of images: rather than Bum sliced open or nearly choking to death, Sangwoo’s remembering Bum saying he wants to be with him, and cooing his name while blowing him.
Rather than fantasizing about what Bum’s gonna look like when he strangles him, he’s angrily reviewing the evidence he thought proved Bum loved him. And the reason he starts laughing and makes such a weird expression is probably because even though he’s absolutely furious, he’s still turned on just thinking of the little fucker.
(Love is such an inconvenience.)
I think this is why, when he finds Bum sitting on the kitchen floor, he’s so relieved that he can’t even be angry at him for having scared him in the first place (which is what I expected honestly, since dealing with emotional discomfort is not Sangwoo’s strong suit). It’s why the beast of a man wraps his arms and legs around Bum and tells him, “Let’s stay together forever,” while shaking like a leaf.
Rather than him getting off on the idea of hurting Bum, or choking his mom or something weird, I think what we’re actually seeing here is the extent to which Sangwoo has fallen for Bum—hard enough that what little sanity he’s got now hinges on Bum staying with him.
This is a dangerously double-edged sword for Bum because on one hand it greatly reduces his chances of being killed, but on the other, Sangwoo will never let him leave.
Anyway.
Returning to the subject, as for his rough treatment of Bum when he’s using the dildo and fucking him on the porch I think, weak as it sounds, rather than any particular desire to hurt Bum, it comes down to Sangwoo not having any idea that anal sex needs to be handled differently from vaginal sex.
Judging from his passiveness, and the surprise on his face after coming in his initial encounter with Bum, as well as his confusion about Bum’s having to get dressed laying down, Sangwoo probably doesn’t have any prior experience of having sex with men.
Additionally, if we look at the hallmark symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder (x), it makes sense that Sangwoo wouldn’t have considered that he was hurting Bum while fucking him.
Though it’s never explicitly stated that he has APD, it’s pretty clear that Koogi writes him with these traits in mind because he exhibits every one of them at some point in the series. Accordingly, Sangwoo would not excel at predicting the painful consequences of his poor sexual treatment of Bum, nor would he excel at learning from them.
If you look at the scene leading up to it, it seems like the thing with the dildo was a weird, misguided way of trying to cheer Bum up. It’s the exact same thing he does later in the bath, after Bum slices his wrist open. “I can tell you’re upset and I want to make you feel better --> sex feels good --> sex will fix it.”
I think he really wants to make Bum happy, he just has no idea how to do so. It’s not like his parents gave him many emotional tools to work with in this area.
As a general overview, if we do a quick run-down of situations where Sangwoo’s behaving violently, there are very few instances where he seems to be enjoying it sexually:
He frequently beats the crap out of Bum at the start of the story, but there’s no evidence that he’s getting off on it. He snuggles with Bum after he uses him to stab the old guy, but he doesn’t have sex with him to our knowledge. Though he assaults Bum with the dildo after he kills Jieun, there’s no evidence that Sangwoo was turned on during the killing—in fact, he loses his erection as soon as she kicks him in the stomach. He definitely doesn’t get off after drowning Bum in the bath. And though he slaps Bum when they get back from the police station, he straight up tells Bum that he’s fucking him as a token of appreciation for his loyalty.
Again, in that situation, you see his arousal linked with Bum’s prioritizing his relationship with Person!Sangwoo over Killer!Sangwoo (this idea of there being two Sangwoos is highlighted by Bum’s line about him living with twins with completely different personalities). And although he’s definitely too rough, the fact is…the dudes a beast. He can one-handedly bench press the combined weight of Seungbae and himself. If he wanted to damage Bum, he could do much more than he does. Always.
Likewise, if you come at it from the other side and look for evidence of Sangwoo craving violence when already aroused, most of the time he’s actually downright uncharacteristic in his avoidance of it. When Bum first jerks him off, he’s passive and quiet throughout the whole experience, then ends making this expression:
The first time Bum sucks him off and isn’t very good at it, Sangwoo teaches him not by mocking or forcing him to do something uncomfortable, but by fuckin’ fellating Bum’s fingers. Then, the thing that pushes him over the edge is Bum saying his fucking name in an informal register. Seriously, if Sangwoo is a sexual sadist, this was a very embarrassing night for him.
When Bum’s blowing him in the bathroom after the concert, it would’ve been super easy for him to face fuck Bum until he finished. That would’ve have been awful for Bum, and a ton of fun for a sadist—but it’s like it didn’t even occur to him. He used a tissue, like some kind of fuckin’ gentleman. And I already mentioned above that he lost his erection when Jieun started fighting to leave.
In fact, the only time he ever seems to get off while Bum is in pain is at the end of chapter 35 where, I’m pretty sure, he was getting off anyway and Bum’s pain was just coincidental to his piss poor handling.
Now, you could definitely make a case for him enjoying the sexual degradation of his partners/victims, particularly emotionally. But he seems to draw the line at physically hurting them, for whatever reason.
So, this just leaves us with the inherent sadism involved in rape...
...except Sangwoo doesn’t think of himself as a rapist.
To us as readers, it’s never really up for debate. He makes this statement while continuing to assault Bum, despite being repeatedly asked to stop, which is the literal definition of rape. But this is by design. Koogi is using the dissonance between Sangwoo’s words and actions to make it clear just how un-self-aware Sangwoo really is, and how little we can trust his ability to make sound moral judgments or take care of his loved ones.
Going by his rape qualifier, “listening to a guy scream,” my guess is that his idea of rape is the exact thing he’s always avoiding—mixing sex with violence. Of course, he’s still a rapist even if you go by that standard, because he never stops to consider how his rough handling hurts his partners. But I think he figures so long as he’s not raging on them, it’s not the same. It’s a kind of, “I know how to hurt people and I’m not doing that to you, therefore I’m not hurting you and you’re overracting,” kind of logic. Idk, he’s not exactly a rational dude.
He also seems to rationalize not being a rapist with the mindset that, once he’s got consent up front, he’s got a permanent all-access pass to the person’s body.
This is not a view held by Koogi (we know because she uses imagery and subtext to highlight how much he hurts his partners by doing this), but by Sangwoo himself.
Bum showed interest in the past and therefore Sangwoo feels entitled to do whatever he wants forever, and my assumption is he would treat his female victims this same way.
In the two instances we see of him seducing women, they seem pretty into it. It’s likely that things were indeed consensual, at least initially.
Whether or not he continues to fuck them after he’s kidnapped them is not known to us, but based on the evidence we’ve seen to date, it seems unlikely.
If he were to do so, he’d likely mock them with something along the lines of, “You said you wanted me, why are you resisting now?” just as he did with Bum, then he would use their change of heart as more evidence that women are liars who deserve to be punished (see the other meta for more detail). However, as I said, we can only speculate on that.
But, all this said…can we really call Sangwoo a sexual sadist? The kind of person who would torture or kill his victims while fucking them?
My feeling is, not really.
Going on what we know from the series to date, there’s no clear evidence that he gets off sexually on the pain he inflicts, or that he’s ever attempted to hurt his victims while having sex with them. Because Sangwoo is not known for his ability to control himself, if he had any desire to mix the two, I’m sure we’d have seen him do so by now.
My conclusion is that while he clearly feels emotionally fulfilled, exhilarated, even intoxicated by punishing others...he doesn’t actually get sexually aroused by it.
Lucky you, right Bum?
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Twelve days of Christmas: day 4. Baby, it’s cold outside.
Baby, it’s cold outside. A/N: this is like fluffy, sorta smutty Christmas crack with a giant bow on top. Sam and Bucky get snowed in during a storm and during their time forced together Sam decides they need to make sure the human race doesn't die out. Yup. _____________________________________________ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Warnings: NO MPREG! snow storm, hate/love, dirty talk, general smut-y stuff, fluff, anxious Bucky ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ Sam was too drunk to go home last night, simple as that. Steve, Sam and Bucky had stayed in, drinking and talking, a movie in the background for the better part of Christmas. It had been fun, really, and even though Bucky and Sam bickered at every occasion, it had actually been nice. Around 1am or so, Steve had gone home (stupid super serum soldiers and their crazy bodies) and offered Sam a ride, of course, because Steve's a gentleman. Sam denied it though, said he would call a cab later and that he wanted to finish the movie and his beer. Bucky hadn't complained, just threw on some pajamas and sipped a mug of tea because apparently he's an old lady, and sat on the chair opposite of him after showing Steve out. Sam couldn't remember anything past that for the life of him, but waking up on Bucky's couch with a blanket over him and his head pounding loud enough in his ears he feels like he might die is sign enough he didn't make it home. He probably passed out before either of them called a cab. He'd been past a little drunk, but Sam liked drinking, especially over a holiday and with Steve, Bucky too, he guessed. It took the tension out of everything. He heaved himself up after a few more minutes, waiting for the room to stop spinning. "Shit," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly. The lights were all off, but he could smell coffee from the other room, so he figured Bucky was probably awake. The guy only ever slept like, what, two hours? He stood, his balance thrown a little as it spun, tilting. He’d drunk too much, and he was currently thanking the heavens above for blessing him with a strong stomach and alcohol tolerance. He’d never had a really bad hang over before, honestly. A little nausea, bit of a headache, but not much else. “Hey, Bucky?” He called out awkwardly, his voice sounded gruff. Bucky emerged a few moments later, wearing grey sweats and a red t-shirt, hair pulled back. He raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. “Huh?” He doesn’t look amused, but he looks like it’s normal that Sam passed out in his house. “Sorry, about last night?” He said awkwardly, smoothing a hand over his face. Bucky shrugged and went back to the kitchen, emerging with two mugs of coffee, still steaming. “It’s fine, ya feelin’ okay?” He asked, setting Sam’s mug on the table. “Not bad, been worse,” he said, picking up the mug after he sat back down on the couch. “I’ll get outta your hair soon.” Bucky gives him a look like he just stripped naked in a supermarket, before glancing towards the window. “Yeah, uh, that’s not gonna happen.” Sam looked at him blankly. Seriously, this guy couldn’t ever just explain, he had to be so cryptic. It was infuriating. Bucky leaned back in his stupid old-guy recliner and sipped at his coffee. Of course he drank it black. “We’re snowed in,” he said flatly, peering at him, over his mug. And upon looking out the window, he found he really wasn’t kidding. There was packed down snow as high as the windows, only a tiny gap at the top, exposing wind and of course, more snow. Fuck. “Oh hell no,” Sam said hurriedly, waving a finger at Bucky. “I’ve got shit I gotta get done!” “Like what, sit on your ass?” Bucky grinned. “I’m not you.” Bucky glares accordingly and huffs. “Yeah, whatever, you ain’t gonna be able to make it out any time soon,” he shrugged. “Steve’s held up in a hotel somewhere.” “Awesome,” Sam grumbled. Bucky seemed virtually Unphased. “So we’re gonna be the last sad fuckers on this planet?” Bucky snorts. “Yeah, right,” he says as he kicks his legs up. Wow, who wears sweats that tight anyways? He hates this guy, hates him so much his dick hurts. What. Bucky raises an eyebrow at him. He’s staring, smooth Wilson, smooth. He jerks his eyes to his own coffee abruptly ���it’ll probably safe to get home in a day or two?” Bucky says, though he doesn’t sound sure of himself. He has no idea, he’s sure. “Yeah, guess we’ll see,” he says back awkwardly. Bucky shrugs, goes back to sipping at his coffee. The house is a little cold, dim too. There’s no light coming from the windows, after all. But it’s not uncomfortable, and somehow they haven’t lost power, so he’ll take that as a win. Sam sighed, drumming his fingers against his cup. He should probably drink it before it gets cold, but there’s a thick tension in the room he can’t shake off. Bucky’s not even looking at him, but it’s awkward, feels like he’s on the spot light, like maybe Bucky’s doing everything in his power not to look at him. The situation sucks, really. “Hopefully it doesn’t get much worse, we’re running on my backup generator,” he says absently after another agonizing minute of silence. “You have a fucking backup generator in this thing?” Sam asks, eyebrows raised. The house isn’t that big, it’s only got two rooms, a bathroom and small kitchen and living room. He’s not sure where one would even go. “Yes,” he says back, glaring. “Lucky for you.” Sam shrugs, because he’s not wrong, he just can’t figure out why, when and how this thing came to be. Or where for that matter. A few hours pass, Sam’s taken a shower, and yeah, he purposefully uses all the hot water, brushed his teeth with a spare toothbrush Bucky has, and put his clothes back on. He’d finished his second mug of coffee and was settling back into the couch when the lights flickered. Bucky wasn’t even in the room, he’d excused himself around the time Sam went to take a shower so he could clean up and get dressed into something a little less sloppy, not that Sam gave a shit. He gave the light a long hard stare, because there was no way in hell he was gonna freeze to death in the dark, but he stopped and the heater was still thrumming, so he relaxed a little. It wasn’t until Bucky re-emerged in jeans and a hoodie, flopping down unreasonably close to Sam that the lights finally do just go out. The heater stops on queue and it’s silent. “Fucking hell,” Sam mutters and by the look on Bucky’s face, he thinks he’s feeling the same way. “Shit,” he breathes, rolling his eyes. “Well so much for that.” “I’m gonna die, stuck in a shitty little house with you.” “Oh boo hoo, Wilson,” Bucky retorted. “I made you coffee, gave you the couch, let you take a damn shower, I think you’re gonna survive.” Sam huffs. “Not if I have to sit around you much longer.” Bucky rolls his eyes. “Yeah, right.” Sam and Bucky sit next to each other in silence, probably looking like children with their arms folded over their chests, refusing to look at each other. He hates how much he actually can stand Bucky. He drives him crazy, of course, but it’s in a good way, even if he claims it isn’t. He’s thought about Bucky when he was alone on more than one occasion, and he’s never (almost) actually hated their time together. He kind of treasures it in a weird way. He knows Bucky is going to drive him insane, both with annoyance and sexually, but he can’t find it in him to care. “Seriously though, everyone else is gonna die out,” Sam says again, finally. Bucky looks at him, unamused. “Why would we be the only survivors?” “We’ve had heat the longest,” he shrugs. “You’re assuming.” “Pretty damn sure.” “Okay, fine, but we’ll still die eventually.” Sam sighs, exasperated. “That’s why I said we have to,” he pauses, motioning vaguely with his hands. “Repopulate.” Bucky makes a face. “Last I checked we all have dicks here,” Bucky says seriously, and yeah he totally just stared at Sam’s crotch, because of course he did. “When did you check, I must’ve missed that?” “So you don’t have a dick?” Wow, how did they end up here? Sam shakes his head with a low chuckle. “I think we both know the answer is that I very much do, have a dick.” Bucky shrugs. “What?” “Didn’t say anything.” “You’re all—shrugging, you shrugged!” “So?” Bucky looks at him like he’s crazy. “What, you don’t believe me now?” “I never said I didn’t,” Bucky says with a grin. “I swear to God-“ Sam starts, but before he’s finished, they’re kissing. Sam honestly has no idea how it happened. He’s not even entirely sure which one of them made the move, but neither of them seem to really mind either way. It’s surprisingly softer than Sam thought it would be, when he’d actually thought about it, he’d always assumed it would be rushed, kind of hard. Honestly, minus the slight chapped scrape of Bucky’s lips, everything about it is soft and slow, gentle. When they do part, they’re still only inches apart, and Bucky’s looking at him carefully. “Huh,” Bucky says, pulling Sam into his lap with disturbing ease, kissing him again. Of course he doesn’t complain, it’s a fine late Christmas present. He’s kind of been waiting for it. Especially after he discovered that Bucky can’t shop for shit. “What?” Sam asks, a little breathy when Bucky breaks it again. “Nothing, Nothing,” Bucky says, but it’s beyond clear he’s lying. “No, what is it Barnes?” “You’re honestly really easy to work with, are we sure you’re not the one without a dick here?”
#sorry this is late#I’ve been crazy busy today#twelve days of christmas#winterfalcon#sambucky#sam wilson#bucky barnes#twelve days of christmas fanfics#day 4#bees fanfics#12 days of christmas#sam wilson x bucky barnes#christmas#twelve days of christmas day 4
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All I Want. (Brendon Urie x Reader)
Note: This was requested by @toystorytwowasokay. I hope you like it, my love. x
“What about kids?” you asked Brendon, leaning forward and propping your arms up onto the table, resting your head in your open palms.
“What about them?”
“Do you want kids?”
“Not really, no,” he replied simply.
“Seriously? Not even somewhere down the line?”
“Nope.”
“Well, why?” you asked in confusion. Having kids was all you’d ever wanted, and hearing your fiancé say that he didn't want any made your stomach drop. Of course, you hadn't told him about your life-long dream of having children, so you couldn't blame him for being so blunt with his answers.
“I don't know,” he shrugged, “The thought just never appealed to me, I guess. Why? Do you want kids?”
“Well, um,” you stammered, not sure what exactly to say, eventually settling on: “No. It’s not important to me.”
~1 year later~
“Stop lying; that never happened,” Logan snorted, shaking his head.
“Uh, yeah, it did,” (Y/B/F) argued.
“(Y/N), Brendon, back me up here,” Logan pleaded, gesturing to (Y/B/F), who rolled her eyes.
“Sorry, sweetie. But it did,” you grimaced, shooting Logan an apologetic look.
“Then why don’t I remember it?”
“Because you were drunk off your ass,” Brendon laughed, taking a sip of his beer.
“Whatever,” Logan breathed, “You can’t prove it.”
“Oh yeah?” (Y/B/F) raised an eyebrow, pulling out her phone and scrolling through it, holding it out to her husband with a cocky smirk when she found the video she was looking for. “You were saying?”
Logan looked at the phone, sucking on his teeth as his eyes watched the video of him making out with a SpongeBob plush as the three of you snickered.
“And none of you fuckers thought to stop me?” he narrowed his eyes at the rest of you.
“Hey, man, we tried,” Brendon held up his hands and chuckled, “but you were pretty into it.”
“Yeah, you’re laughing now, Urie. But wait until the next time you get drunk; you’ll probably make out with something much worse than a plushie.”
“Nah, these lips were made for kissing one thing, and one thing only,” he turned to you and smiled, leaning down to place a passionate kiss on your lips.
“They better be,” you smirked, stealing another kiss.
“Forever yours, babe.”
Logan made a gagging noise and Brendon pushed his shoulder, making him laugh.
“Alright, so, there is an actual reason we called you guys up tonight,” he started, glancing over at (Y/B/F), gaining your and Brendon’s attention.
The couple shared a look before both turning to you with huge smiles plastered on their faces before (Y/B/F) spoke. “I’m pregnant.”
You and Brendon screamed happily as you both stood up, the other couple following suit. The two of you congratulated them with hugs and kisses, and then the four of you resumed your seats at the table, Brendon ordering a bottle of champagne and a non-alcoholic glass for (Y/B/F) from the waiter.
“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you guys!” you gushed elatedly, clasping your hands under your chin and squealing excitedly. “You’re gonna be amazing parents.”
“Thank you, (Y/N),” Logan smiled, leaning over to press a kiss to his wife’s temple. “We’re stoked.”
“Well, if he or she is anything like their father, you’re gonna have your hands full, (Y/B/F),” Brendon quipped, winking at Logan who glared at him in return.
“Hopefully, I won't have to deal with that alone,” (Y/B/F) grinned. “(Y/N), Brendon…”
“Will you be our baby’s godparents?” Logan finished.
“YES!”
~
“I can’t believe you’re actually going to be a mother,” you sighed, plopping down onto the sofa in the living room of your very-pregnant best friend.
“I know, it’s insane,” she gushed, waddling over with a packet of baby clothes she’d bought the other day. “And what’s even more insane is that I’m gonna have a baby before you. Everyone always thought you’d be the first to start a family.”
“Yeah, well,” you smiled half-heartedly, busying yourself with the tiny items of clothing to try and avoid (Y/B/F) noticing the gleam leaving your eyes. But she knew you too well, and knew something was up.
“Hey,” she placed a hand on your shoulder, turning you around to face her. She gave you a knowing and sympathetic smile when she saw your expression. “Still no luck in convincing him, huh?”
“No,” you sighed, “Because I haven’t tried.”
“Why not, (Y/N)? Having a baby was all you ever talked about.”
“He doesn't want kids. He made that very clear.”
“Right,” she pursed her lips and folded her arms over her chest. “And you should’ve made it clear to him that you do.”
“And then what?” you threw your hands up in frustration. “Lose the love of my life? I don’t think so.”
“(Y/N), you said it yourself. He’s the love of your life; and you’re his. He wouldn't leave you over something like this. Especially if he knew how much it meant to you.”
“I don't know, (Y/B/F),” you sighed, closing your eyes, “I’m just worried about what his reaction will be if I brought it up.”
“He loves you, (Y/N). Talk to him.”
~
“He’s so tiny,” you marvelled as you cradled your godson in your arms, gently rocking side to side. “And gorgeous. Isn’t he gorgeous, Bren?”
“Absolutely beautiful,” he smiled, stroking the little boy’s head and cooing at him.
“You wanna hold him?” you questioned.
“Yeah,” Brendon’s smile grew as he reached out for the little bundle, gently taking him from your arms into his own. “Hey, little guy. Wow, you’re a talkative one, aren't you?” he chuckled as the baby made continuous gurgling noises. You couldn't suppress the smile on your face as you looked at the scene taking place in front of you. You’d pictured this scenario countless times, except that in your head, it had been your baby that Brendon held.
“You’re really good at this, you know,” you said softly, and Brendon looked at you in surprise before smiling at you.
“I’m not sure if I’d be able to do this full-time, though.”
“Have some faith in yourself. I’m sure you’d be a great father.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
~
Over the next few months, you practically lived at (Y/B/F) and Logan’s house. You were there every chance you had, spending as much time as you could with the little human who had stolen your heart from the minute you first laid eyes on him. Any other person would’ve chased you away by now, but this was (Y/B/F), and she understood.
You still hadn’t spoken to Brendon about having a baby, and (Y/B/F) took your constant visitation as a way to give you pep talk after pep talk to try and get you to do it, but you just couldn't bring yourself to try.
But little did you know that your infatuation with the boy and all other things baby hadn't gone unnoticed by Brendon. In fact, it was exactly the opposite. Brendon had grown rather fond of joining you on your visits; he loved watching you interact with the baby. The smile that etched itself onto your face whenever you were around him, the way your face lit up as you played with him or cradled him into your body, it brought warmth to Brendon’s heart that he hadn't known he’d needed. Until he’d felt it, that is. He’d never wanted children, but now, seeing you with a tiny human clutched onto your chest, he knew that he was wrong.
“He’s so beautiful,” you gushed for what must’ve been the thousandth time. “I want one.”
“I’m sure that could be arranged,” Brendon whispered, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his chest.
You hadn't even realised that you’d spoken out loud, until you heard Brendon’s response, which caught you completely off guard. “What?”
“It'd be much more convenient if we had one of our own, don't you think?”
You shook your head and let out a delirious laugh. “Are-are you serious?”
“Mhm. Then maybe (Y/B/F) could get her baby back,” he joked, but you didn't laugh, you were still in shock from his words.
“I thought you didn't want kids,” you said softly.
“I didn't,” he replied, “But seeing you with him… seeing how happy it makes you… it made me realise that I wanted it. I want to see you holding my baby. Our baby. I want a little you running around,” he ‘booped’ your nose, and you scrunched it up, smiling slightly, “I want that with you.”
You were tearing up at this point, and a stray teardrop spilled out onto your cheek; Brendon wiped it away with his thumb. “Brendon,” you croaked, “you have no idea how long I’ve dreamt of hearing you say that. This is all I want. All I’ve ever wanted.”
“Why didn't you tell me, babe? That you wanted a baby.”
“I was scared,” you admitted, shrugging, “I knew that it wasn’t what you wanted and I thought that if I brought it up then…” you trailed off, but he got the message.
“Babe, look at me,” he tilted your head up so that he could look into your eyes, which were still full of moisture. “You’re my everything. I love you more than life itself. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and nothing or no one can ever make me stop loving you. And yes, a year ago, before we got married, I didn't want kids. But now… now I do. I want to have a tiny human with you. Through love. Our love.”
“Are you sure?”
Brendon got down on one knee and took your hands into his, making you giggle. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you have a baby with me?”
You were too happy to form words, so you nodded energetically in response. Brendon picked you up and spun you around, kissing you.
“Damn,” he bit his lip as he stared at you.
“What?” you cocked your head.
“We’re gonna make one damn good-looking baby.”
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Thank you for reading x
#brendon urie#dallon weekes#patd#p!atd#panic at the disco#panic! at the disco#tyler joseph#josh dun#tøp#twenty one pilots#patrick stump#pete wentz#joe trohman#andy hurley#fob#fall out boy#gerard way#mikey way#frank iero#ray toro#mcr#my chemical romance#imagine#imagines#fanfic#music#band#bands#emo#EMO TRINITY
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The Silent One - Part Twenty-Two
THIS IS A REUPLOAD
You can find the other parts of this story and my Masterlist HERE!
Synopsis: Its three weeks after the previous chapter and you and Negan are actually getting along so Negan decides that he wants to take you with him to see a speech he was going to make to the whole Sanctuary.
Ships: Negan x Reader
Words: 1,879
Warnings: Graphic violence, curses
Category: Angst
***
Three Weeks Later
***
“Again, I’m sorry Jesus couldn’t be here right now. He had to get up early to go on a run.” Rick’s voice echoed through the walkie-talkie in an apologetic tone.
It was 7AM on a brisk February morning. Frost coated the dirt encrusted window high up the wall. A chill licked under the crack of the door, making you shiver and pull the rich, purple duvet closer around you.
“It’s fine.” You replied simply. “Say, how’re you guys coping up at Alexandria with this weather?” You asked quietly, all too aware of the person who slept in the next room.
“We’re dealing.” Rick said in dull tone. “How’re you though? Has Negan… hurt you?” Rick asked, his fatherly streak coming out.
“He hasn’t hurt me. And he’s … fine.” You replied. You chose your words very carefully.
“I know I’ve asked you before, (Y/N), but what’s your relationship with him?” Rick asked, an edge of suspicion to his voice that you didn’t appreciate.
“I’ve told you before; he trusts me, that’s why he lets me on the fence. I get some freedom from this room.” You said the last word with distain in your voice. “I have to go.” You said finally, not wanting to carry on this interrogation. “Tell Jesus I say hi and that he better be here next time you call.”
“He really misses you. He’s been kind of lost without his partner in crime.” Rick said softly.
“And tell him I miss him too.” You smiled wryly at the image of your friend.
“I will. Be safe.” Rick said before the line went dead.
You leaned over the side of the bed and pushed the walkie-talkie under it. You supposed you could hide it in better places but you thought that that would do.
You flopped back into the warm duvets and curled yourself into a tight ball, attempting, vainly, to get a few more hours sleep before the day.
You lay there for a while, your eyes shut and your breathing steady, doing all the things that would usually equal sleep but apparently your brain had other ideas. You felt a twang of guilt curling in your stomach, like a great beast that had awoken from its slumber. You were lying to Rick about your relationship with Negan.
You and Negan had grown closer to each other, now you would go almost willingly to the dinners that he would so meticulously prepare for you. In fact, once on one of the days where you weren’t obligated to go to dinner you actually asked him if he would be so kind and prepare a supper. “Are you asking me out?” Negan has replied smoothly, the fucker.
You and Negan could be classified as friends, you thought. If not friends then you were tolerant of him and occasionally you would show some affection for the man who had taken you prisoner.
It wasn’t your new found friendship with Negan that made you feel guilty though, it was the fact that you felt a degree of attraction toward him and each day you denied the attraction it would grow a little bit harder to keep secret. That was why you felt guilty.
You twisted in your bed, switching sides and staring at the full-to-bursting bookcase.
And Jesus, oh Jesus you sweet friend who cared for you like you were his sibling. You were betraying his trust that he had so wholesomely placed upon you. You hadn’t seen him since he had given you the walkie-talkie now stowed under your bed. You wondered where he was right now, the person who you valued above almost everything else.
With thoughts of your friend you fell back into an uneasy sleep.
***
“Rise and shine princess!” Negan called loudly.
You rolled over and pulled the duvet over your head, trying to block out the cold light that was seeping through the windows.
“I don’t want to get up.” Your muffled voice sounded from beneath a duvet and a few pillows.
“I don’t want to get you fucking out of bed but I guess we’re both dreamers.” And with that you felt the duvets being pulled from you, the cold immediately encapsulating your form. You groaned loudly as you rolled out of bed and rubbed your eyes, much like a toddler would do.
“Sleep well?” Negan asked as he threw a few simple clothing items onto your bed.
You flicked your middle finger at him.
“That well, huh?” Negan threw a matching pair scandalous, bright red, underwear that were sheer and would hide almost nothing.
“What in the ever living hell are those?” You asked, holding what was presumably the top half of the underwear at arm’s length, a sceptical look on your face.
“Underwear.” Negan smirked as he leaned against the door frame.
“Why did you put them in there?” You asked, knowing full well that Negan had chosen your closet before you had been captured.
“In case you warmed up to me.” He winked and darted out of the door before he could be hit by a pillow.
You slowly got dressed, still groggy from sleep (or lack thereof) as you pulled on a plain and more practical pair of underwear, a long sleeved, grey, shirt and some washed out jeans. You stepped in front of the full length mirror and deemed yourself presentable before striding into the kitchen to be met with the sweet smell of pancakes.
Negan was already sitting at the table, a white napkin tucked in at the front of his shirt as he dug into a stack of steaming pancakes. You crossed the room and took the seat opposite him and began to cut up your pancakes. Under the table your legs would occasionally brush against each other but now you didn’t mind the jolt of electric like current stemming from where you’d touched. You didn’t mind it one bit.
“Change of plans,” Negan said as he took a sip of orange juice. “You’re coming with me today.” Negan drizzled a fine amount of maple syrup on his remaining pancakes.
“Am I now?” You asked, an eyebrow cocked quizzically.
“Yep.” Negan said finally as he pushed together his knife and fork with a small clink.
“Can I ask why?” You asked. A small smirk danced on your lips.
“Because I want you to see me with my men. I’m giving them a damn pep talk and since we don’t have any fucking cheer leaders I’ll have to do.” Negan finished as he tossed his napkin carelessly out from his shirt and onto the table. He began to gather up the syrup and plates, perching them haphazardly in his arms.
“When do we need to go to this ‘pep talk’?” You asked as you took a sip of vibrant coloured orange juice.
Negan glanced down at his watch and smiled broadly.
“Now.”
***
The room that Negan was holding the ‘pep talk’ was a high ceilinged one with platforms lining the walls and leading to other parts of the Sanctuary. The first two levels were filled with Saviours peering over the railings to see the man that they had chosen -or been forced- to follow. You were standing behind Negan but out of sight of the proceedings. You thought it had something to do with Negan and his possessiveness over you, you felt a twitch of annoyance at that thought but then you convinced yourself that it was for your safety.
“Brothers and sisters!” Negan called out to the Saviours who when they were addressed they knelt down, averting their eyes from their leader. “Stand.” Negan said in a commanding tone. All people in the room rose.
“You all know why you’re here,” Negan started. “You’re here because we have a job to do. We are the people who will bring the world back to what it was before those dead sons-of-fucks took our world. And maybe we’ll leave it a little better than we found it.” Negan continued.
Soon you found yourself tuning out of the speech, just watching the crowd; you tapped the pistol that Negan had given you before you had arrived absently. He had told you to use it only if you had to.
You could see that the faces of people in the crowd were respectful, if not a bit wary. You thought that that was how most people had to be to survive Negan. But not you. Of course, you respected the man, you’d be insane not too, but you could say things that could get many of the saviours punished and Negan would just laugh.
Your eyes traced the platforms above you absently, not really paying much attention to the faces. That was until you saw some movement on the very top platform.
You focused on a dark shadow as it darted across the platform until it was situated in the most shadowed and dark crevice of it. You narrowed your eyes, trying to make out some kind of features but you could see nothing under the dark hood. Then you saw the shine off a large sniper rifle that the man was assembling.
You felt your heart begin to thunder in your chest, blood pounding in your ears.
You looked from the person at the platform and then down to Negan who was still giving his speech. You didn’t have much time before the person would assemble the rifle and take the shot.
Almost without thinking you took out your pistol. You could feel your hands shaking ever so slightly as you cocked the weapon with a small click. You were biting your lip in concentration; the metallic taste of blood layered your tongue.
Then, you squeezed the trigger.
A loud gunshot rang out from your gun and you were relieved to see that the person at the top had collapsed. You saw Negan staring at you, eyes wide. You simply pointed up at the platform. You saw him nod his head toward you before stepping off the stage silently.
You followed him as the crowd parted like the red sea, making way for him to climb the stairs.
When you reached the top level there was a small crowd that had gathered around the writhing body. Negan broke the crowd first, stepping in front of the writhing body.
You peered past Negan to see the form of a man. Crimson was spurting from his throat as he desperately clawed at the gun wound, trying to keep the blood in the veins. He was making grotesque gurgling noises. Each time he heaved a rattling breath hot, thick, blood would choke him. Someone pulled back his black hood and instead of the unrecognisable eyes of a stranger you saw dark, once trusting eyes that were filled now with betrayal.
Jesus.
***
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@negans-network
#Negan#Negan x Reader#Negan TWD#TWD Negan#TWD#The Walking Dead#Negan The Walking Dead#The Walking Dead Negan
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So I watched the 1998 version of The Phantom of the Opera
and I decided to write down my thoughts as I did so. God, it was such a horrible movie, and if you read through this you can tell how much I really think so. I progressively got more angry and done with it as I watched, hahaha. This is really long, very grammatically incorrect, unorganized and unedited, but venting to Notepad like this really helped me to get through that damn movie. So, if you’d like, you can check under the cut to read what I thought throughout the movie.
what the fuck
what is this rat doing
how the fuck did this rat have enough strength to pull the baby out of the water
why do the rats care
how do they care
WHAT THE FUCK
THAT CHILD GRABBED THE RAT
AH
no
stop
Why did this child bond with the rats. How. How did this happen. Can rats bond with people like that? I didn't think they could actually think that way
why is the wall leaking and why would he keep hitting it
same
mE
oooo he just got fucked lol
HOW DID HIS WHOLE UPPER HALF GET FUCKED UP LIKE THAT WHAT THE HELL
WHAT THE HELLIS THAT THE PHANTOM WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
OH MY GOD WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA WHY
is she gonna start singing just because she's alone
I was right
called it
ooo there he is is he gonna fall in love with her
he's weird
the face she made was funny
what is she doing
wait are those her nipples
I think I can see her nipples through her dress
what the fuck
ugh the movie's only nine minutes in
who the fuck is that
I'd turn right around like fuck that
what the hell
ok no he didn't say anything
he's creepy
is that Erik.
is his name even Erik in this or just the phantom? eehh I'm just gonna call him Erik it's easier
shouldn't he be... deformed? a bit??
no go away
this is very weird
why?
oooo because he isn't supposed to be there
how the fuck is she gonna "hear your thoughts" wtf
ok bitch is she talking to herself
is she crazy
oh my god
this person is gonna die becuase that rat got killed huh
this man is very unsanitary wtf
lol me
what is he doing
why did he just grab the mouse trap dumbass
eewwww why are the rats biting him and why is he just screaming like fucking do something about it
that was random
he's gonna become ratman now
eheh
lol I'm the girl hanging out with Christine
is she Meg?
Are they talking about Raoul? Did he send her those roses?
I'M CARLOTTA
it sounds like Carlotta is singing "Raoul" it's funny like same
what the fuck is Christine "hearing" Erik? The fuck
Is she talking to him thourgh her mind? The hell? She seems fucking crazy omg
Ok Christine is fucking crazy I think that the phantom is just a figment of her imagination and she's just psycho
that man is dirty
why is he specifically the rat exterminatior why cant he be a regular janitor
eww why are there so many rats and why the fuck does he keep the tails? nasty ass
these two men must think he's insane
EW HIS HAND IS FUCKED AAHHH GROSS IM TRYING TO EAT SNACKS FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT
lol "shit" me hahaha
"strange things have been happening" naw everone is just fucking nuts
I don't wanna watch this movie anymore but I guess I gotta finish now
ugh Erik is so fucking creepy
did he just sniff her
HER FEMALE SMELL?? WHAT THE FUCK
he's sniffing her scarf and I'm fucking uncomfortable
his nose is big. and pointed.
I want him to leave
oh thank god he did
I'm the dude thats just swinging down from random ropes
was he watching them
they werent quite that subtle anyways
ooo he found a secret passage he gonna die
WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST GRABBED A LADY BY HER BOTTOM STOP IT
why is she ok with this how well do they know each other
ooo are they in box five
who is this guy who is just interviewing people and taking notes I wasnt paying attention when he came in
"shhh let's go now" lol me @ this movie
Alfred seems very annoying
his voice isn't fitting with his lips and face and look it's really weird
the lady's talking is weird in that same way too
hmmm they think there's treasure and they want it they're probably gonna die
TITS AH TITS JUST HAPPENED
that was... interesting
what the hell is going on now where are we what is this place why is there a party
umm that guy talking in the background to the little girls is super creepy
there's a lot of creepy people here
AH THAT GUYS FACE WHAT THE HELL HE'S SO CREEPY
WAIT FUCK IS HE RAOUL OH FUCK NO NO PLEASE
he seems awkward it's weird
lol she doesn't like roses rekt @ him
did that lady just storm out why is she so randomly butthurt
be the brother she never had? he just got friendzoned lol
uh oh they gon die
I really don't think there's any treasure guys
uh oh the rats heard them are they going to somehow tell Erik
ewww so many rats
wait are they telling him that they're there
how the fuck
how many rats do you think were used in this movie
HE JUST GOT SNATCHED UP WHAT THE FUCK
wait there really is a treasure
WHAATTT he just outted his girlfriend that asshole
HE JUST FUCKING CALLED HIMSELF A RAT WHAT THE FUCK
I'm calling him Ratman now
Alfred just died haaaaaa get rekt
I'm her scream oMG
she's just making a whole bunch of bad decisions rn
what's dripping
if there's a jumpscare I swear to god
I admire her trying to cover her tracks but she about to die
how the fuck did she even get stuck and how does he not hear her she's being loud
she's stupid
he's stupid
this movie is stupid
I'm angry lol
what the fuck is that face on the wall
I ACTUALLY HAD TO PAUSE THE FUCKING MOVIE WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS HE BITING HER TOUNGE IS HE TRYING TO RIP IT OUT OF HER MOUTH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID THE ACTORS AGREE TO DO THIS AAAAHHHH NOOOOO WHAT THE FUUUUCCCCKKK AAAHHHH THAT'S SO GROOOSSS IM SHAKING FUUUCCKKKK
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO HER TOUNGE NO FUCK
you know that noise Tina Belcher makes that uncomfortable "uuhhhhh" noise welL YOU SHOULD FUCKING HERE MY RIGHT NOW MY LORD
FUCK THIS MOVIE
lol she just hit this dude with a chair, like, if only I could do that to this fucking move
did he say "you're wrong" or did he call him a rug
is this dude having a heart attack wtf
lol "he's dying" in the most calm way haha me
what the fuck is this motherfucker imagining right now my lord
fuck this guy is weird
*idubbbz voice* I wanna die
ewww I don't wanna see in this bitches throat ugh
why did this bitch scream ugh stfu
Christine makes funny faces when she sings and looks around weirdly it's funny
her face lol her eyes are like buldging
oo Ratmans here
she fuckin died
haha
why'd she pass out though
there are so many people standing around her like back tf up guys
I'm her like whimpering like me @ this movie
lol I'm the doctor
he has funny hair
god why does Christine make such funny/weird faces
fuck off Raoul you're fucking weird
how the fuck did Ratman get there
ugh he's so creepy he needs to fuck off as well
ugh this movie need to fuck off
why am I watching this
uh oh now Raoul's gonna die haha
idek if that's Raoul wait a sec I'm gonna look it up
ya it's him... I think. I'm just gonna keep going with that it is
dear god how am I only forty-four minutes in
he boutta die
ah nvm he didn't
lol he someone just called him Raoul I should've just waited
wait he has a brother
I'm so behind
WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE NAKED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WHAT THE FUCK WHY AHHHH PENIS AHHH BOOBS AHHHH WHY IS HAPPENING I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS
I can't omg I really really want to stop watching this movie but I must continue... it's hard though
I don't get why these dudes are fighting
I'm so done with this movie
what is this bitch doing with her tounge
wait, Christine?
she's fucked up lol
god she's so creepy here
why is everyone in this movie so fucking creepy
wait it's not Christine
Rose Velvetlips? The fuck kinda name is that
what why'd he get so angry with her he was the one who was wrong. asshole.
he needs to calm the fuck down
lol he almost headbutted his brother
is this all because he was friendzoned?
what the fuck this creepy dude need to leave these little girls alone
oh my god what the fuck he's so fucking creepy
like for real is he a pedophile
god fuck this movie
I hope he dies
like comeon Ratman pull through and actually kill someone who deserves to be killed for once
this poor little girl
oh my god I'm so scared for her
I can hear the rats
omg this guy is so fucking creepy fucking stop it
yaass Ratman fuck him up
eww I mean thanks but like I didn't need to see that
comeone don't kill the girl please
just let her leave
no don't console her just let her leave dammit
oh thank god thank you Ratman
that'll probably be the only ok part of this movie, the pedophile dies and Ratman is nice to a child
ugh this asshole slapped her Ratman kill that fucker too
let's just turn this movie into him killing assholes who are mean to others who don't deserve it
ewwww I hope they're not really cutting rats tale that's gross and mean
dumb bitch don't touch the fire
ooo I don't like the way he said Christine the mics picked it up weird and it tingled in my ears ugh it gave me shivers like please no
how tf does she know where he is
I feel like he may kill her at some point, like, he thinks he loves her but she'll probably just die
what kind of dr. seuss kinda fucking machine is that
that's fucked up
why do they take so much pleasure from killing these rats so horribly
fucking psychos
lol they wrecked and got rekt
THIS FUCKERS HEAD JUST GOT CUT OFF OMG
karma's a bitch
soooo what was the point of that 'cause now we're just back to Christine
nearly an hour in... suprised I've made it this far...
wow it's so luxurious tf
she's gonna accidentally scare him
ah no he knew she was there
no I don't wanna hear her scream
lol this tune doesn't go with the scene
ewww that face he's making
she looks so fucking weird
I don't like this angle
WTF WHO IS THIS NAKED BITCH LYING ON A BED
OH NO IT'S CHRISTINE AND NOW RATMAN IS HERE ARE THEY FUCKING
WHAT THE FUCK THIS HAPPENED SO SUDDENLY
FUCK THIS FUCKING MOVIE
FUCK
AAAHHHH I MADE A BAD DECISION
FUCK
I WANNA GO HOME
NO
I could've done without that, fuck
what the fuck is the river of time and space
fuck you
fuck Christine
fuck the rats
ugh
I want to die
oh look its that creepy rat exterminator bitch
oh he's gone again
Raouls back
is he gonna go looking for her
ugh take a hint and leave
is that fly fake it's so weird
I never could get fly scenes
how do they film them
you can't train a fly, can you?
I wouldn't think so
oo this bitch found a secret passage
what the fuck is the exterminator doing
where is he going
why do I not believe that Christine is actually good at playing the organ
this is all so wrong
none of it is right
ugh
this is so weird
she wouldn't listen to him and he instantly got angry omg gtg bitch leave him
lol "I hate you and I hate this place" she sounds like a teenager
wait how old is she supposed to be
ooo she just stomped on some rats he's gonna get angry at her
does this bitch really have fake moles
Carlotta you fake bitch
hahaha
she just spit that water on the table
he just called her a fat cow that's mean but her reaction was funny
lol she thinks it's the other dude
hmmm I think Carlotta is actually the only character in this I like
she don't take shit from noone
this dude just walked out and now he's screaming for her
is he dying
he doesn't sound too urgent but I think that he's supposed to be
#badacting lol
but that could be said for most of the cast
how many times is she gonna say Mark
is that dude whos dying named Mark
who tf is Mark
eh it's probably him
uh oh Ratman's a-lurkin she aboutta die
ewwwww he bit her ear ugh stop that's gross
omg what the fuck is he doing to her boob
stop
AH FUCK YOU RATMAN THAT WAS UNECESSARY
if I were Carlotta I would get the fuck outta there
you would never see me in that fucking opera house again
lol her mole is on her nose now
aww her poor boob
that's gotta hurt
Ratman is gross
oh comeone just let Ratman have his way just leave Carlotta
like do you want to die
god how long until this movie is over
about twenty minutes left ugh
did they ever find mark
lol he's goin ham at that chandelier
they all boutta get fucked
why is his hair so long I just realized this
I was so caught up on his face not being deformed
but it's like weirdly floating majestically as he hacks at the chandelier
ugh fuck this
lol Carlotta's face as she watches the chandelier start to break is me
her scream is me
so many people just got fucked
rekt at them
poor them
wait Carlotta boutta die
LOL THAT GREENSCREEN HAAAA
oo she just got knocked over the head with that weird ass statue
how is she not dead
her hair looks funny lol
god Raoul leeeaavvveee
I hate this movie
I feel like Ratman is gonna end up killing her
Christine is gonna die if she keeps doing this
Ratman you need to stop
oh look it's the exterminator again
OH MY GOD RATMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP
THIS IS RAPE
FUCK YOU RATMAN
oh my god I need to stop watching this movie
I was warned but it truly is so fucking terrible oh my god
thank god it's nearly over
Christine honestly try to leave like idk how but get the fuck outta there
oh wait if he catches her he may kill her
omg I don't know what to do aaahhhh
like I don't like this Christine but I feel bad for her and I want her to live
she's snoopin around, like, be careful Christine
ewww so many rats
he's just sitting there covered in rats, petting rats
lol she is disgusted, she is me
wait what the fuck
why is he taking his shirt off
OH MY GOD
I SAW THAT YOU GUYS WERE CALLING HIM RATFUCKER BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHY
IS HE ACTUALLY GONNA FUCK THE RATS
WHAT THE FUCK
oh good he got up please say he didn't fuck the rats my lord aaaahhhh
I'm gonna need to see a fucking therapist after this
how did Raoul get there
this is stupid I thought she friendzoned him and got with Ratman but now that she knows that he fucks rats she's all calling Raoul her love in shit what the fuck Christine choose which fucked up guy you want and go, fuCK
oh the mirror
why is Ratman cuddling her shoes, weird fucker
what the fuck does that mean Raoul
what the fuck does that mean Christine
their convorsation is confusing
haha Ratmans there listening to their convo
ha he's crying
god that was a gross, horrible kiss
lol Ratman crying is me @ this movie, fuck
the way this one dude is talking is so bad, like his acting is so bad
why is she just so suddenly with Raoul
god back to this exterminator for a fucking second, now he's gone. WHERE THIS FUCK IS IT GOING WITH HIM JUST PLAY HIS FATE AND MOVE THE FUCK ON
so how is Ratman going to fuck this up
lol is that him clapping? haaa Ratman bitter af
ah theres the exterminator finally fuck
AHHH HE ABOUTTA CALL HER OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE FOR FUCKING RATMAN AHAAAA
HE DIIIIDDDD HAAAAAA
rekt at Christine haaaaa
what the fuck Ratman just flew out of nowhere
the dude with the notepad is just following everyone chasing Christine and Ratman and is taking notes I like him he's funny, he's me
DOWN ONCE MORE TO THE DUNGEON OF MY BLACK DESPAIR
he's so ugly
oh goddammit Ratman stop it
yaaasss Christine hit him with a rock, get it bitch
lol it took Raoul like twenty seconds to realize he was being called for
"forgive me" lol you ain't sorry Christine
what the fuck is she just going with it or is she actually going with him what the fuck Christine make up your fUCKING MIND
eight minutes left, thank gOd
oooo are they gonna have a sword fight 'cause I hope so
lol did noone know that these people had been dead and missing this whole time
lol Christine lowkey dying
oh wait Raoul grabbed a gun not a sword dammit I wanted them to duel
yaasss Raoul shot Ratman
what the fuck Christine she's upset over Ratman being shot fuck is she with Raoul or Ratman like I know it's hard for you to chose which fucked up man you want but just go with one
what now they're all leaving together
what the fuck
ugh
I'm so fucking confused
ooo this guy has a sword I hope he duels Ratman
lol Christine is so distraught over leaving Ratman, like, a) why and b) if you really wanted to get to him you should just fucking jump in the water and swim to him, or can you not swim? fuck
lol he got shot rekt at him
the rats are angry
he's retaliating
wait he just got shot again
how is he still up and running
and he just got stabbed
how is he still going
lol obviously she likes Ratman more Raoul should just dump her ass in the river and get outta there quicker
they've barely gotten anywhere, like I said, dump her ass
how is he still alive
they're calling for eachother
he wants her back
tell Raoul to turn around or dUMP HER ASS IN THE RIVER
like seriously, again, can she not swim? did I miss something??
ahaaaaa Ratman just got stabbed
HE JUST FELL SO DRAMATICALLY INTO THE WATER HAAAAA
lol his ring fell off her finger what kinda stupid ass symbolism shit
I think the rats are crying
it ended on her crying
wait now there are shots of the theater. like I care.
I think someone was talking but I wasn't listening lol oh well
thank gOD this stupid fucking movie is over. I just wasted so much time that could've been put to use doing something better, like feeding birds, or doing charity work, or watching the 25th anniversary edition
I’ve yet to read the book (I just got it so I’m going to soon) but I really hope that it’s nothing like this
tbh I think Love Never Dies was better and Christine fucking dies in that one
k bye movie I’m gonna go do something productive thanks for the uncomfortable time
*ALSO I just wanted to quickly add that I saw that there was a mask pictured on the movies poster but I didn’t see one mask in this movie so like, yeah, fuck you movie
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RtN 08: Bhulbule Bhulbule it’s Rocky E’rywhere
Shut the hell up-- That title made you fucking giggle, I know it.
Don’t worry I wont tell anyone you fell for one of my dad jokes.
We had to be up early.
No skin off my nose-- I was already up. (Shocker, I know.)
Another night of me painting mental pictures behind my eyelids as I waited for the sun to come up.
Super fun. {heavy on the sarcasm}
I went down for breakfast--- the staff was ready for me.
They picked up on my crackhead hours from yesterday, I wasn’t gonna catch them sleepin’ (literally and figuratively) again.
We were a bit on a time crunch-- Hannah and Maxine were to meet us so we can split the jeep cost amongst ourselves, so we needed to have our shit together, again, literally and figuratively.
There was some contemplation on what I should take and what I shouldn’t.
I definitely needed my medical supplies (I was basically carrying a mini pharmaceutical on my back) because of my leg, so my pack was already filling up quick.
I made some rough cuts-- not everyone can make varsity.
Hopefully I was able to cover all my bases. Then again, it’s not like I’ve done this before so what the fuck did I know?
Next to nothing.
I hoped to Christ my rationale and my common sense was enough.
The things we decided to leave behind would be stored at the Hotel.
Soon enough, we were loading our packs and getting ready to skedaddle.
Off to Besisahar... God help us.
For the second time on this trip, I longed for a damned seat belt. I seemed to have welded my feet to the car floor and was gripping the edge of the seat. I was squeezing so fucking hard my fingers began to tingle while anticipating hard turns and rough stops.
I was not wrong in my prediction.
The driving is insane here.
First off, the roads were not roads they were dirt trails that vehicles decided to drive on for what seems like funzies; shits n’ giggles; lapses in fucking sanity-- Holy cannoli-- Breathe Ashley, breathe...
That’s the fucked up thing about anxiety: it messes with you. Bad.
I can look at something and think about a million and one things that can go wrong, like that (please insert finger snap here, thanks).
Our driver was not the friendliest of the friendlies if you can catch my meaning.
And he was young.
Real young.
If the furry caterpillar he was trying to grow on his face was any indication-- yeah, he was definitely in his early twenties if not twelve.
The drive itself had me on edge, since we were so perilously close to the edge about 80% of the time.
My nerves were just about threadbare at this point and we haven’t even gotten started yet.
But it wasn’t just driving cliff side; it was the near misses, and the constant honking (holy fuck was this kid liberal with that shit-- handing out honks like it was fucking Tic-Tacs) as our driver over took buses, jeeps, and motorbikes alike.
He was a very aggressive driver, which I was sorta thankful for.
The trip to Besisahar was an estimated seven to eight hour drive.
He was able to cut it down to six.
But I was almost certain the ride alone had shaved off a few years off my life.
We stopped for bathroom and snack breaks along the way, but I was too tired mentally to muster up the strength to get out of the car. So I stayed in there, slumped at the backseat, reveling at the stillness of it before we went off-roading again.
Yes, I considered it off-roading.
During those times of rest, Adrian slid into the backseat with me. We talked about nonsense, but I had an inkling he was checking in on me.
Well not really and inkling-- the dude literally asked if I was good.
I’ll admit there were moments where I allotted a small head to shoulder touch (meaning, my forehead to his shoulder), only to convey that I was fine.
Sometimes I do these things.
My actions these days are more honest than my mouth is.
I don’t lie about a lot of things, but somehow when it comes to my personal shit and physicality status... lying about it came almost as naturally as breathing.
My body status because I was tired of the hovering, and my feelings because I’ve been doing it for so long I don’t know how to stop sometimes.
I’m working on it, okay?
Half way there I was almost certain that our driver was trying to kill us.
I was being dramatic, of course, but I swear to Christ the next time that little shit picks up his phone to talk to someone while he’s playing the Nepali version of Chicken with the other cars; while driving cliff side; while honking like a madman-- I swear I was gonna slap the puberty outta this mother fucker.
GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE! I would have screamed if my heart wasn’t in lodged my throat; choking me into silence.
My palms were sweating.
The relief was palatable once we reached Besisahar.
Since our driver was part Nepali part fucking Speed Racer, we arrived earlier than we anticipated.
So the plan to walk to the next location came into motion.
“You guys just wanna walk straight to Bhulbule?”
Bhulbule was about a two and a half walk from Besisahar, and since we’ve been cramped in a jeep for the better part of our morning... I was not opposed. I had a lot of nervous energy pent up, so some walking might do me some good.
The roads were dusty, but I liked that I was surrounded by green.
I thought the rice fields were actually rather pretty. It could be the Filipino in me, but I don’t think my family grew rice-- I think it was pineapples?
I think this mini trek to was a pretty important learning session about the personalities of our group, which had expanded plus two.
Hannah had a very bubbly personality.
Lani had dubbed her Hermoine, probably in regard to her accent and the unruly curls that donned her crown. She was short in stature, but her personality was definitely larger than life. She was an opera singer by occupation (amazing), and when she and Zach would break out into impromptu songs it was the sweetest thing. Apparently the girl had a penchant for nicknames for she went from Hermoine, to Hannah-Darling, to finally Hannahpurna. The last one tickled my fancy-- mostly because I’m a sucker for puns or any play on words, really.
Hannah was a firecracker with the tendency to “wee” every fifteen steps (total exaggeration, but she did need a few stops, and it was cute). She was very hydrated.
How to describe Hannah... She had these curls the color of light brown sugar, and big doe eyes that darted everywhere like she wanted to take everything; experience everything at the same time; all at once.
She had a wonderful lilt to her voice that sounded almost musical-- whether it be because of her accent or her occupation-- either way it was pleasant, and made it even more hilarious when she would say some off the wall shit.
Maxine-- I had dubbed her Maxie, because... I’ve always wanted to call a someone that-- was from the Netherlands. I can’t say I know much about the Dutch, but Adrian tells me that they’re the nicest people.
Next to Canadians, I imagine.
From what I learned from Lani-- Maxine was involved in research for exoskeletons for paraplegics, and I am awed by... everything? Can I be awed by everything? Fuck, I guess I am.
Max was quiet, but sure of herself--- The best kind of quiet confidence. I felt she had good energy. She was tall and blonde.. and apparently gets sunburned easily.
I liked her high cheekbones and the strong, sharp angles of her jawline. At first she seems a bit severe, but when she smiles her eyes crinkle at the corners that’s when you really see her shine, and Max smiles a lot.
Shit. We’re getting a bunch of bright people now. I’m getting nervous.
Just kidding.
... Kinda-- ANYWAY!
Then we have Lani.
Her optimism was infectious and you can just feel her excitement just to be here. And I’m glad we’re here-- glad I was able to see it with her; be here with her.
I’ve never quite described Lani have I?
Hm... She’s probably one of the most beautiful people I know. Her physical beauty is as effortless as the inner.
She doesn’t need to try, she just is.
She’s tall, she’s almost graceful in her movements until she remembers she has limbs and almost trips or hits something. (Why we’re actually friends.)
She has her own demons to contend with, but she’s not like me and lets it fuck with her-- thanks to her optimism. It’s like she has a full reservoir of the shit. She drives me up the wall with it sometimes-- because I’m just allergic to things not fucked up apparently, but I’m glad I have her in my life. Perhaps when my bitterness dwindles as I fumble along this path of self-whatever-the-fuck maybe, just maybe, that optimism can rub off on me.
Now onto the brightest of the bright-- dare I crown him the King of Sunshine, Zach.
I have nicknamed him Zackerooie, because he’s just so damned adorable. Swear to Christ I have never met a more positive human being in my entire life-- and I was fucking surrounded by them back home.
I appreciate the eye contact he gives when you’re in conversation with him.
All smiles and bright blues just aimed at you.
It’s neigh impossible to not adore him.
He’s just a genuine person-- a rarity.
Back home, genuineness appears to not only a be fallacy but an actual needle in a damned haystack.
It’s like when someone calls themselves humble nine times out of ten they are anything but. When someone has to compliment themselves, that’s usually a huge red flag.
And alas there was Adrian.
Adrian likes to pick on short people-- I’m not short by any means (pretty average for my ethnicity and gender-- thank you), just shorter than he is.
I will concede that we certainly have our similarities (insert your “no shit, Ashley” here).
Which makes sense on why I found him to be so infuriating.
We bickered. A bit. A lot. Fuck you, fine-- we bickered most of the time.
It wasn’t too bad.
I only half joked / threatened him with bodily harm.
Then he’d say some stupid shit like I was too small to do dick, which made me actually want to punch him in the daddy bags.
Repeatedly.
In rapid succession.
Just to make sure such assholery will not dare procreate.
But during my observations I found that he is a lot more... thoughtful than I had initially pegged him to be. And let me tell you, my initial thoughts of him were not very flattering-- he kept picking on me, okay! It’s 2018 goddammit, no bullies allowed!
In any case, we can safely say that Adrian is blunt; that Adrian is opinionated, but I found that his actions didn’t often match what his mouth was saying.
There was a lot of “who cares” or “I don’t care” or “that’s someone else’s problem” or my personal favorite “whatever”.
These things weren’t easy to spot, but when you’re trailing in the back of the group or existing in corners... You tend to catch on to how people really are relatively quickly.
But I started to note these things and the more I learned, the easier he was to understand.
But then again he has probably the longest eyelashes I have ever seen-- which switches me back from understanding the guy to being annoyed by him.
I finally crossed my first bridge. I was anticipating/dreading, actually.
Had a thing about heights, even though technically I’ve never really put myself in a situation where I would have to deal with heights.
So does that mean I was scared if the idea of heights? Interesting thought.
Well we were about to test that theory considering now I was looking at it dead in the face.
“You good?” Adrian asked me.. again.
“Fine. Just panicking internally.” I found myself admitting honestly.
Wow, that made my mouth feel weird.
I don’t know what made me say it, but It felt strangely freeing, but considering I was still panicking I didn’t dwell too long.
I’ll fuck with that shit later.
My ears were full of the water flowing under the bridge. I concentrated on putting one boot in front of the other, just look straight ahead. Don’t look down, if I stepped in shit (seemed to be... everywhere) I would dutifully scrape it off on a brick, or a rock, or an Adrian if he continued to piss me off.
Or a Lani that kept smirking at my plight.
Plotting which person to rub my just-in-case shitty boot on helped me across.
I don’t know what kind of person that makes me, but it fucking works.
Zach was the captain of our merry band of misfits.
He had the book.
He had the map.
He controls the futu-- Okay, sorry, that’s too much I know.
But we basically followed his lead. He was great at getting the skinny from the locals (he has one of those faces).
But we appeared to be following the Book (context: he purchased a trekking guide through the Himalayas from Lonely Planet. So when I say “The Book”, I mean the guide book-- not the bible, I didn’t finish Sunday school-- don’t know how to read it).
The Book suggested we stay at two places:
- Thorung-la Guest House
- Heaven Guest House
It was getting late, so we went to the closest one:
Taking a shower was... Interesting.
I couldn’t get my leg wet (as was my only requirement from my wound care doctor for her to give me the green light to fly), so I was basically doing some weird lean in butt fuck cold water (until I figured out how to use the heater) while keeping my leg elevated and away from the spout. Which is why my right leg is great at balancing.
It felt nice to wash off the dirt.
Took me a while to dress. My body and my leg.
I don’t think I packed enough warm underclothes. Just a few thermals and a rain jacket. I still had my down, but hardly think I can trek with that shit on.
During the day it’s relatively warm, night is what kicks me in the vajeen.
In any case I walked down to beer and Dal Bhat.
I had brought a notebook down to write in (it was Lani’s diary and while she took pictures I wrote) and sat down. Everyone was already finishing up their plates-- considering the size of the plates-- considering the size of the plates, they were either hungry, or the food was bomb, or I was slow af getting dressed.
I would guess the latter.I was already cold as shit.
During dinner I was shivering and clenching my jaw to keep my teeth from chattering.
Although the teeth clenching could have been me biting my tongue whenever Adrian would remind me, for what seemed like the billionth time, it would only get colder. Or how he couldn’t believe I was already feeling that cold.
Dude.
I’m an island girl.
The lowest the temp goes is 70 and that’s only if there’s a storm a’brewin’.
So you bet your sweet ass this bitch was cold!
Although I could not complain about the dude too much... He did try his best to keep my Island Popsicle ass warm throughout dinner by rubbing my arms.
Maybe he’s not a bastard... still an asshole.
A warm asshole.It was about seven or eight when everyone started turning in.
I was reluctant because one, it was early, and two, I don’t sleep.
Adrian was commenting that he couldn’t sleep too early because he’d wake up in the middle of the night.
So it felt normal to agree when he asked me if I wanted to stay downstairs longer.
One: it was early.
Two: At this point I had buried myself under his arm and merged myself into his side like some weird warmth parasite.
God that man was so warm.
So we stayed up talking shit--bickering--whatever.
I saw my first firefly (one of many firsts on this trip).
I know what you’re thinking-- it wasn’t fucking romantical. Gag yourself. In fact I felt rather silly for admitting I haven’t seen something as apparently common.
We don’t have those bugs on the island.
Adrian kept his teasing to a minimum-- thank Christ-- and we eventually made our move back up stairs.
Zach and Adrian’s room was across the hall from Lani and I’s.
I mumbled a quick goodnight to Adrian as I turned (left) into the... empty room.
The room was empty.
Where the hell was Lani?
I’ve read multiple books about a “sinking feeling” in your stomach when you mentally ask a question you already knew the answer to, but you hoped that maybe this bitch was in the fucking bathroom or something and, in fact, did not stay in the room across the hall leaving a now pretty sleepy Adrian bedless. I quickly pitter-pattered my way to the other room (right). My eyes had already adjusted to the dark enough to make out an Adrian standing in at the door way.
He looked like he didn’t know what to do.
Fuck if I knew what the fuck to do.
I had a belly full of Dhal Bhat and I had my fill of Adiran Warmth to last me... Just a couple more minutes if I didn’t get under warm covers soon.
“Lani?” I whispered at the dark lump I thought could be her.
I don’t know what kind of Zombie/sleep cracked out Lani this was, but she moved fast. Like the zombies in World War Z fast, like I Am Legend Zombie fast.
“Are you okay? I’m sleepy. I’m gonna go back to sleep. It’ll be okay. Mm, love you. Night.”
She had said this over my, “What? Uh. Okay. Are you-- aaand you’re laying back down. Okay.”
I stood there staring at the Lani-Lump. Incredulous; unsure; mostly confused.
This. Fucking. Cunt.
Deep breaths Ashley. This isn’t a huge deal.
Except that I haven’t allowed anyone to sleep in the fucking same room with me for over a year-- besides my hospital stay.
That didn’t count.
I had drugs.
I, at the moment however, did not have drugs.
To his credit Adrian did ask if I was okay with us rooming together.
...
Fuck it. Whatever. It was fine.
It was cold as shit outside; it was dark; I now (apparently) had an extra bed... He may as well use it, right?
I mean, he wasn’t a complete stranger-- he actually seemed pretty cool when he wasn’t busting my balls.
I told myself I was fine with it.
Actually, I told myself to stop being a little bitch. He wasn’t going to bite me.
And if he did I’d have a reason to beat that ass.
The possibility of violence made me strangely okay with it.
So we went to bed.
It did not take me long to realize that usually bodies warm the sheets before it stays warm throughout the night.
So whatever Adrian Warmth I had left dissipated once I slid under the sheets.
Fuck. You.
I knew I was going to be miserable the whole night.
I rubbed my feet together in hopes the friction would help.
No help. My feet were cold.
“You cold?” I heard the question from the bed across mine.
Adrian.
Didn’t trust my mouth to speak so I made a negative mouth sound of “nuh-uh.”
Have you ever heard a silence that was deeper than silence...? Like someone was quietly judging your idioticy from across the room?
Well, he as nice enough to not verbally call me out on my bullshit.
Both he and I knew damn well I was cold as fuck-- but my stupid mouth still lied about it. Pride? Probably.
I saw his blanket open up, motions of his hand to hurry up and get in.
I hesitated. Of course I did. I hesitate about everything. Fucking Pride... Stupid.
But I couldn’t resist-- my bed wasn’t doing me any fucking favors-- so I did what Lani... and Kristin... and Jessie were always fucking telling me to do.
Go with it. (I had way too many free spirited friends..)
And fuck you, once Adrian dropped the blanket around me and I was immediately surrounded by that delicious, precious warmth, I swear that man could have asked me to kick a puppy and I would have done it gratefully.
Okay maybe not-- but I would have heavily considered it.
How the fucker got his bedding that comfortably warm in such a short amount of time I will never know. Or I didn’t ask. Fuck it man, I was just happy that I was warm.
That’s his super power.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but it was the first sleep I’ve had since we landed in Nepal.
I knew needed that sleep.
So I’ll say this: Thank you, Adrian... You fucking asshole.
What? Gotta keep it balanced.
TBC...
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BKDK Birthday part 2!
This is the second part of my Bakudeku Birthday fic for CB
Part 2
Izuku knew that Katsuki was aware of the little camera he had in his bedroom. His lover...enemy...lover, stripped in front of it far too often not to be fully aware of it.Izuku loved the teasing, it made him all the more excited for their next encounter, even though it meant Katsuki could control what he saw. As he settled himself in front of the feed, he shook slightly with nervousness and glee. His love letter would reach Katsuki today and he wanted so badly to see his reaction, that he had written on the envelope that Katsuki should open it in the bedroom. With luck, the ash blond would assume it was something dirty and do just that. Sure enough, he saw the door open and his god came through the door, throwing his bag on the bed. Izuku leaned forward eyes intent-where was it? Where...yes. His childhood friend was clutching the envelope tightly in his hand. A soft smirk spread over the villians' freckled face as his sexy lover sprawled on the bed and tore into the envelope with an irritated look. Izukus breath grew shorter as he watched crimson eyes flicker over the paper, brow wrinkling in that adorable look Kacchan got when he was puzzled...and then his face went pale. Izukus hand came to his lips, biting softly on his own finger as the large man dug frantically for his cellphone and called a saved number.... then again....then another.
"They're not going to answer" The singsong voice said to the video screen as if he could be heard even though he knew he couldn't. He was waiting for it when his own phone rang. The burner he used specifically for Kacchan. Waiting for it to ring once more he picked up with a cheerful greeting.
" Hello Kaccha~" But was interrupted with a string of profanity.
" Don't fucking hello. Where are they Izuku? Where the FUCK are they? If you hurt them I swear I will kill you and they will never find the body. "
Izuku hadn't expected that level of vehemence from his rival, there was an edge to it that had him wondering if he had miscalculated, losing Katsuki was never an option. He shook his head, the mess of his hair bouncing, no, as long as Kacchan followed the rules, it would be fine.
" Kacchan~ You know me. I'm just having them over for tea, " He smirked at the phone, twirling the key to his captives cells over his fingers."I wanted to get to know my future in laws..."
" I thought I knew you, you fucking piece of shit, I thought you knew better not to touch them. MY PARENTS ARE OFF LIMITS FUCKER. Return them now and you get to keep your head."Izuku licked suddenly dry lips, simultaniously scared and turned on. The edge to Katsukis voice, and the lack of any insulting nick-names, said that he was truly mad-maybe he had messed up? He had to see this through though, once he had started he never backed down, Katsuki knew that. " Make me a scarf Kacchan..." He crooned " Make me a scarf and give it to me for my birthday and they'll be returned to you safe and sound." He ignored a deep breath his lover took, the beginning of some new threats and tapped the button the end the call. There was absolutely no reason for him to remain on the line...Katsuki would have to do what he asked or...Izuku would be forced to do something very regrettable. He actually liked Kacchans parents. They had been nice to him when he was younger, and he knew to kill them would be something he would punish himself for for years to come, but at that point...wasn't it Kacchans fault?
The villian was aware that he wasn't all there, there was something that other people had that he didn't, but he saw it as an asset.
He sighed aloud, hands running through curly green hair , it was just about time to bring his guests dinner. He wanted to treat them well, after all, if he didn't have to kill them they would be his in-laws. That made them special. The fact that Katsuki was one of few to know who he was without a mask made it easy enough for the wide eyed twenty year old to pick up food from a local restaurant. Thanks to his childhood with them, and subsequent stalking of their son, he knew their favorites and picked up something he knew they would enjoy. Slightly more cheerful at the thought of spending dinner with Kacchans parents, the greenette hummed to himself as he slipped into his hideaway, headed for the cell he had prepared just for them. He paused outside of the room and knocked politely-they may be prisoners but it took nothing from him to be polite after all. This would be the first time they saw him without the mask and he wanted to make a good impression.
The green-haired villain unlocked the door and walked in,telekinesis quirk holding back the couple. Mitsuki reminded him so much of Katsuki when she was angry, and that resemblance was all over her face right now. He tilted his head and smiled at her, watching anger turn into confusion and then, denial as she recognised him as the little boy that had tagged along behind Katsuki all those years ago.
" Hello Masaru-san, Mitsuki-san, It's been a while. I hope I remembered your favorites, right." Izuku spoke casually as he set out the meal on a small table in the corner of the room and took the third seat casually. " You can join me, the food is safe. I'm not planning on killing you. It's just part of a game between me and Kacchan." He smiled again and this time his face was full of childlike innocence. " Kacchan would never kiss me again if I really hurt you." He had realized that when he had heard his rivals' voice over the phone. It was something he would have to think about if Kacchan didn't...but he would. He loved his parents and he loved Izuku. He wasn't entirely lying. he wasn't planning on killing them, and if he had to he would be sure to make it painless. When they didn't move immediately, he frowned in confusion then blushed boyishly.
"Oh, right. I'm so sorry." He had forgotten that he was using his quirk to keep them in place, he had trained it into an unconsious ability. "Now you can come join me." he said softly, releasing the two. The couple exchanged looks until, Mitsuki huffed and crossed her arms, crimson eyes narrowing calculatingly. "Izuku. Your moms been worried about you. You should let us go and let her know you're alive."
Izuku sighed as he visibly popped the seal on a bottle of wine. " Mom will be better off without me for now...one less mouth to feed. " His voice was melancholy as much as he tried to keep his feelings out of it. " Please. come, eat. You must be hungry."
The blonde woman snorted, " You're insane if you think we're just going to sit here and eat with you. You kidnapped us. Is this revenge?" Izuku sighed as if put upon, " Revenge? That's ridiculous. I told you, it's nothing serious, just a game. Once Kacchan gets his part done you can go home. You should eat. You need your strength." He placed a nice rare piece of steak into his mouth from the third plate he had bought and chewed. " Eat. It's delicious." The two stared at him increduously.
Masaru was the first to move, which surprised Izuku, Mitsuki was normally the forward one. Neither had eaten since he had taken them and he had made a small error with the sleeping gas, they had been out longer than anticipated. The vilian watched Katsukis father move to the table and sit, taking a sip of the wine, Izuku saw a flash of fear in Mitsukis eyes before she hid it. Katsukis parents indeed.
" I'm going to trust you for now. You could have killed us whil we were asleep." The quiet man looked at him through narrowed eyes, and Izuku suddenly wondered if some of his father was in Katsuki after all. " But if you harm a hair on my wifes head..."
" Relax. Kacchan's working on my present. we'll all be together on my birthday. " He watched Mitsuki settle herself down to eat, never taking her crimson eyes off of him as she started to interrogate him on this "game". That set the tone for the evening. He tried to keep it...homey but he knew neither forgot that they were being held captive. Nor did they truly believe he wouldn't harm them...
He had always known that the Bakugous were smart. But the dangerously intense way Mitsuki was looking at him was concerning.As was her constant criticism of his courting methods, once she realized exactly what he was doing.
____
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It’s Sunday. I’v been in my new home since 7/23. Im a completely different person than I was 3 months ago. I”m using the last time I attended my public speaking group session as a barometer.
I’m supposed to go back in a couple of weeks and all I can think is that I have traveled around the universe several times since then. I don’t want to go back b/c it feels heavy to me. I feel defensive.
They’re the most loving group of women. I just want them to know though without having to tell them, how different I am; how much stronger I am.
My foot is in an orthopedic shoe boot.. b/c I did something really stupid. My big toe had healed after being fractured and then sprained and now it’s sprained again.
So I have a lump in my throat b/c it hurts and b/c im scared. The thought passed through my mind this morning that I guess by December it will be healed. I hope so. I’m also scared that b/c its the third time in the row I have no idea how long it will take to heal. I sprained it on 8/8, while in the therapy pool for my ankles it’s excruciating to write that, let alone admit it at any point in time. I did it to myself.
I was told that the big toe represents anger. Well, yes I have a fuck load of that. I don’t know really how to release anger.
A friend of mine and I randomly text each other things we hate that are ridiculously humanizing and true and beyond cathartic to text about. Yesterday my texts were: I hate married people, I hate couples. She is hilarious and texted back: I hate married people too. She is married.
She then wrote the exact text that was in my mind: “I hate women with perfectly defined thighs that do nothing to achieve them.”
That’s probably my next #1 thing I want to text about daily.
I was in choir the other night and im 1000% sure that of EVERYONE in choir practice was thinking the same thing in reaction to one of the members. She is small; petite. She has amazingly perfect small petite person, muscular legs. She was wearing very short shorts. The kind of shorts that 10 year old’s wear. I was deeply uncomfortable and self-conscious and jealous in a way that only God would intend so that I could work through something and arrive at some divine place of never feeling the need to compare my flabby, vein ridden, falling to my ankles, thighs, as I do, daily. Those thighs were a gift to me to let go of my nostalgia for my former thighs; the thighs I NEVER appreciated, the thighs I railed against from the age of 15.
When I was 16 (and this is not at all what I intended to write about) my mother walked into the living room of our rented condo in Queche Vermont. I was lying on the couch reading the Memoir of a Geisha. She lay down on the floor and lifted her exposed legs in the air and said, “Look at my thighs. They are falling. You have ...can’t remember what she said, but “your thighs don’t o this.”
I can’t imagine that this insanity needs analysis here. But can you fucking believe that a 50 something year old woman would say this to her 16 year old daughter?
That was my mother in all her tortured glory. That was my role model. I grew up in a house of mirrored walls and walk-in closets. Ugh I don’t want to write about this. it’s too depressing.
So let’s talk about now. I’m sitting her, deeply lonely. I had the BEST job yesterday. I LOVE to work. I love before and after. I love my work.I really do. There is no better feeling than getting paid in the numerous ways my work pays me. #1 I create immense relief of tension for my clients. I bring them joy. I make them laugh. And they feel like they can manage their lives again after we’re done.
Managing life is a mother fucker. I have zero idea how to do it. I do know when I get overwhelmed that this will change. Just trust. I have to remind myself to return to this.
My new home is quite magical. It’s also a giant clusterfuck and needs a ton of work that I have zero idea how to really proceed with. I can hear my upstairs neighbors breathe. I have to re-do windows blinds (fucking expensive). I have to insulate ceiling.OMFG! Thousands.
Decorating is a blast!!! I knew I loved design but had no idea what I could unleash in myself once I owned my own home. It is mind blowing.
I want to buy the whole house, cut off the top two floors, create a stunning eco paradise for myself. I want to blow out the back wall and open my home onto the really cool and beautiful back yard garden; already a small oasis of beauty and magic.
I want to trash the nasty exterior and replace with shingles. I want to create vaulted ceilings that shower my with light. I want to redo bathroom so I can actually sink into a tub. Currently the tub could fit a 5 year old; maybe a small 10 year old. Definitely not a 5′ 8″ (yes, exaggerated for my own well being) adult ( I use that term loosely).
I’m emotional. FUCKING emotional. Every response is emotional, always. I have a 52 years of life experience so I know that about myself.
I know nothing about handy person shit. That makes me crazy. I have all the ability and also the fear. I don’t know how to do this and that and that and that. I want everything done NOW.
My business is building I think..I really think it is. I see writing BIG invoices in my near future and that’s very exciting. I LOVE the idea of managing big projects.
I had to make this move myself to see how well I manage them. I love managing the move process and the setting up an settling in and connecting to all necessary to connect to to get shit done process.
I have one new big client coming up. she actually told me she wanted to give me a retainer and we’d work off of that. That was thrilling. She’s a wonderful human; beautiful; a queen truly. A soulful beautiful human. So it’s a massive gift and joy and honor and I'm really excited about the bigness of it all.
I also have a new level of care for myself and what I do not know. I know it’s okay. I don’t have to pretend I know anything. What I know is that I can figure anything out. I’m deeply resourceful and creative and outside of the box thinking and capable beyond what I ever realized.
Everyone knows this about me. I’m JUST beginning to see it.
My new home is a mix of free (from FaceBook Free page), Craigslist, sleuthing, Etsy, Amazon. It’s sooo much fun.
I ended up with a gorgeous new couch and chair and ottoman and chaise for 1/2 of original price due to delays and my constantly asking for more off..they oblige each time.
Sleuthing and clearance are a blast and deeply fulfilling.
Honestly it’s all a profound profound gift.
My health is better than ever and will continue in this direction. I have my set backs but I really do feel better than I have in 8 years. That’s incredible.
When I have both feet working I will be in complete nirvana. And I will remind myself of that when I get there and am hit with the next something big I have to deal with.
I’m going with the adage that 3 times a charm; im speaking of my toe of course.
The air in Portsmouth yesterday blew my mind. I worry that my skin and my health will fall victim to living where I do and not in some clean air nirvana. But wtf...this is my life.
I dream of owning a small vacation home somewhere..who knows.
I’m deeply lonely and I know I'm never alone. I got to swim in the pool ALONE yesterday!!! It was nirvana an of course made me fantasize about having my own beautiful salt water pool that someone else cared for, while I just enjoyed.
I don’t think that’s my path though. I think the one I'm on is my path..Deeply insightful I know.
Being 52 and single and fickle and Emily is a thing. I know there’s a ton of people out there wishing to God they were single and not with whomever they’re with. I know there’s maybe less people out there that are truly content with whomever it is that they’re with. Im alone.
I’m always alone. It’s a pain in the ass..it’s been like this for years and years and years. It may stay like this. Sometimes I think my life is in reverse. Most old people lament an face and sit with deep loneliness as everyone dies around them. I think maybe I'm just the opposite. Maybe love is coming to me later in life and it will be the most comforting, wonderful gift.
This is what has happened for my mother. This gives me enormous hope. I think my mother; I know my mother felt isolated and alone for over 50 years. We’re quite similar in many ways so I wonder if maybe I'm being shown the bounty that is coming my way in this regard.
I have riches beyond riches now: I have 99% of my limbs working. I live in my own home!!!!!! My neighbors are away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I'm having a blast decorating. I love my business. I have so many people who love me. I have quiet and light and food and joy and all the emotions of the rainbow. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I wrote this full genius piece in my head the other day while my ankles were being cared for by my physical therapist. I was in that awesome dream state were everything creative flows. It was gone the second I got off the table.
This doesn’t come close, but it feels like I can breathe again. IT’s been a really long time since I've written. Thank you for this ability, this space, my keyboard, and computer and digits and mind. Thank you.
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