The Popsicle Comparisons
Pyrrha: Jaune’s bigger.
Yang: Waaaaaaay bigger!
Nora: Thicker too.
Weiss: My singing career really helped me take it.
Blake: Took me a few tries, but I can reach the end.
Glynda: I can kiss the tip when I sandwich him.
May: I wanna do that…
Velvet: I love his carrot~!
Ruby: I can’t get my hands around it.
Coco: I can’t keep my hands off of it~!
Cinder: Oh, look, it’s my discipline stick~!
Emerald: Yeah, Daddy’s bigger.
Militia: It was fun when we sandwiched it between us.
Melanie: We have to do that again~!
Neo: 🥰🍆💦
Winter: The limp I got was divine~!
Harriet: I pulled so many muscles that day… Worth it~!
Elm: He picked me up like a twig when we did it.
Salem: My ex-husband was a shrimp compared to him.
Willow: I love how he remodelled me to fit him~!
Kali: I’ve never had a human before, but good gods~!
Raven: And, I thought I was a top~!
Summer: We need to do it again, the timing was off.
Sienna: Pro-Faunas on the streets, Pro-Human in the sheets~!
Terra: I’m gay, but when it comes to, Jaune~!
Robyn: I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t divine.
Fiona: The big bad wolf is coming to ravage the poor defenceless lamb again~!
Jessica: Yellow, my one weakness~!
Jinn: You think you know everything, but then you really know everything~!
RWBY Girls: AHHHHHHHH~!
Saphron: …
Saphron: Dibs. I go next.
RWBY Girls: Eh?!
~~~
RSNM: …
Mercury: D-Did you really…?
Jaune: Yeah…
Ren: A-All of them…?
Jaune: Yep…
Sun: One is surprising enough, but all of them?!
Jaune: Shocking, I know…
Neptune: How did that all happen?!
Jaune: Word of mouth.
Ren: Is that metaphorical, or literal?
Jaune: Yes.
Mercury: How can you manage that?!
Jaune: Semblance.
Ren: So… The whole team?
Jaune: Which ones?
Mercury: The bad girls?
Jaune: A few here, and there.
Ren: The teacher?
Jaune: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.
Sun: The moms?
Jaune: Not all at once. I think…?
Neptune: The faunas chicks?
Jaune: They tend to bite, and scratch…
Mercury: The green ring girl?
Jaune: I still don’t understand the yellow weakness bit.
Sun: The, Relic?
Jaune: There’s some knowledge for you.
Ren: Your sister-in-law?!
Jaune: Was my first.
Mercury: Your sister?!
Jaune: Another brocon. Joy…
RSNM: …
RSNM:
YOU ARE A GOD!!!
Jaune: …
Jaune: No comment.
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Be My House Husband
Guess what! I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more Coco x Jaune!
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Jaune: *Cooking*
Coco: *Looking at him work* Hey Jaune...
Jaune: Hm?
Coco: How do you feel about being a house husband?
Jaune: Sorry?
Coco: I mean you're good at cleaning, cooking, and fixing problems around the house. You are the perfect candidate for the job.
Jaune: Thanks? I guess... But why the question?
Coco: Be my house husband, Jaune.
Jaune: *Confuse* Do you mean like in a work sense?
Coco: No, I want you to marry me.
Jaune: *Blushing* Eh?!
Coco: *Smiling* Gosh, you're so cute when you're blushing.
Jaune: *Upset* Stop making fun of me.
Coco: I'm not. I really want you to be my husband.
Jaune: Yeah right, as if I believed that the coolest girl on the planet would date a moron like me.
Coco: *Serious* Jaune, you're wonderful just the way you are. I love you.
Jaune: *Gasp!* *Red* Y-You-
*TING!* The stove clock goes off
Jaune: T-The food is ready!! I have to tell the othersI! See you later!! *Leaves*
Coco: *Smug* Playing hard to get, huh? You're on.
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The funny thing about shipping RWBY characters is that when you stop and think about it, the pairings are really funny. Like, my fave ships are
Goldilocks & Belle
Red Riding Hood & Pinocchio
Cinderella & a flavor of ice cream
Coco Chanel & the velveteen rabbit
Thor & Mulan
(For any non-RWBY moots, I would be happy to elaborate if interested)
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