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minkyungseokie · 24 days

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Three’s A Crowd II | Pierre Gasly + Kika Gomes

synopsis; pierre and kika are still trying to get the oblivious and feeling denying y/n to realize just how in love they are with her, but y/n refuses to believe it

warnings; poly, gxg, throuple, homophobia, internalized homophobia, hateful family,

mentions of weaponizing religion, questioning someone’s faith, verbal and physical abuse, and disowning a minor

This is not meant to offend anyone. This is singing both me and a couple I know have experienced.

note; not requested

note2; bruh, I had so much trouble writing this and getting it out. I had so many ideas, but no way of excecuting any of it.

Sorry if this isn’t good enough. I tried to put this off until i could come up with something, but I didn’t want to leave ya hanging

Let's ignore the one in light mode. Also, I know people have lives, but the slug like rate F1 fics are being posted concerns me lol.

Autosports Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Pierre Masterlist

I do not give anyone permission to change, copy, or put my work on any other platform. It will only be on top, so if you see it, please report it. Or let me know.

Y/n sighed. She had woken up due to the sensation of needing to go to the bathroom and the room being way too hot, only to find Pierre and Kika wrapped around her as if she were a tree and they were sloths. Well, more like Kika was holding onto her as if she was a sloth and Y/n was a tree, with her arms wrapped around Y/n's neck loosely and her leg thrown over her hips. Pierre was also clinging onto her, but he somehow ended up on top of her, which was why she was in her current predicament.

She desperately needed to pee, but she didn't want to wake them up. She needed the time before they woke up to fully think about how she felt.

She wanted to confess to the couple every minute she spent with them. Her heart told her to confess and finally get the love she had been yearning for, but her head told her no. Her head told her that she was disgusting for liking two people at once, her head told her that she is a homewrecker for liking both of them and possibly breaking them up,, her head told her to protect her heart from rejection and keep the friendship rather than sacrifice it for her selfish feelings.

She had so much going on inside her head that she needed to leave the room right them or else she'd break down and she would rather not have to explain why she's having a random breakdown in the bed.

Y/n managed to get Pierre off of her and wrapped around Kika instead before jumping out of bed and hightailing it to the bathroom. She sat on the toilet and wrapped her arms around herself. She couldn't get into a relationship even if she was willing to ruin her friendship. Despite her saying that she was confident and secure in her sexuality, she really wasn't.

Being raised in a highly homophobic environment where she was taught to be a submissive house wife and her brother was raised in the mindset of a toxic "alpha" male. Y/n may have been kicked out because she didn't take in the teachings her parents tried to force into her mind, but she was still raised in a household where being different was disgusting for twenty years of her life.

It was a hard mindset to get rid of without the correct help and, to be quite honest, she never talked to anyone about it other than Pascale Leclerc, who wanted to put Y/n into therapy. If Y/n didn't basically have a panic attack when the therapist tried to pry too far, too fast, things probably would've been different.

Y/n tried to swallow the lump in her throat and keep the tears from exiting her tear ducts. Y/n began to sniffles and furiously wipe her eyes as the tears fell down her face.

Kika stretched as Pierre got out of the bed and put on a shirt, "Where's Y/n?" Kika asked, scratching her head. "Not sure. She was gone when I woke up. Maybe the bathroom since the door is closed." Pierre shrugged, leaning over to kiss the model. Kika stood up and walked up to the bathroom door, "Hey, Minha linda. Are you okay in there?" Kika spoke, knocking on the thick wooden door.

Y/n didn't answer.

"Minha linda?" Kika called out, pressing her ear to the door to see if she could hear any movement or the shower. Kika's heart lurched when she heard labored breathing rather than the sound of water running, "Y/n?! Are you okay? Can I come in, please?" Kika asked worriedly, putting a hand on the doorknob.

Pierre looked over at the sound of his girlfriend's panicked voice. The French man dropped what was in his hand and marched over to his girlfriend's side, "What's wrong, mon cœur?" Pierre questioned worriedly. "I think something's wrong with Y/n. She seems to be in distress." Kika answered, turning back to the door and trying the doorknob.

It was locked just as she thought.

"Y/n? Please let us in. We just want to make sure that you're okay." Pierre spoke up, knocking on the door gently, but there was no answer. Kika put her ear to the door to see if she could hear more, only to hear hyperventilating, "She's hyperventilating. We have to get in there." Kika said, "There's a key right here just in case." Pierre explained, reaching up to grab a key off the doorframe. Kika snatched the key and fumbled trying to put it in the keyhole, "Stop, stop, stop. Kika, look at me. I need you to take a deep breath and calm down. Panicking will not help our Y/n." Pierre soothed.

Kika nodded, taking a few deep breaths. In, out, in, out.

Now calmed, Kika inserted the key into the keyhole and unlocked the door. Pierre grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open, "Oh, shit. She's having a panic attack." Pierre cursed. "I'm going to touch you, is that alright?" Pierre asked, hands hovering over Y/n's body, waiting until he got permission before sitting on the floor and pulling Y/n into his lap with Kika sitting right next to them looking up what to do when one is having a panic attack, "Okay, first step is to remain calm and ask them if they need anything." Kika instructed.

"Do you need anything, mon cœur?" Pierre muttered, holding Y/n to his chest. Y/n shook her head, but her panic attack ensued, "Can you raise up a hand for me?" Kika asked, hovering a hand over Y/n's back. Y/n shakily held up a hand and kept it there until Kika told her to put it back down. Kika had the girl repeat the action until her breathing calmed only a bit.

Pierre took Y/n's head and gently put it on his chest, "Can you hear me breathing?" Pierre inquired, earning a nod from Y/n. "Good, now I need you to try a breathe with me. Just try to copy my breathing." Pierre suggested. Pierre took Y/n's hand, Kika took the other one, and placed it on his chest.

Pierre began to take deep breaths until Y/n began to try and copy, "I'm proud of you. Good job." Kika praised, stroking Y/n's curls, "That's it, my girl. Concentrate on your breathing. Stay in the present." Pierre said. "You can get through this." Kika encouraged, placing a kiss on Y/n's forehead.

The couple continued to praise and say words of affirmation until she stopped hyperventilating, but she was still breathing hard and shaking, "Hey, gorgeous. Can you look at me?" Kika asked, placing her hands on Y/n's thighs, gently stroking them as a form of comfort. Y/n turned and looked Kika in the eyes, "That's my girl. Can you name three objects you see for me, hm?" Kika queried.

Y/n's eyes darted around frantically, "Hey, don't stress yourself out. It's okay. You don't need to search. Just name me the first three things you see." Kika gently ordered.

Y/n nodded and took a shaky breath, "Bru-brush, um, r-ring, and...and, um, shoes." Y/n stuttered, looking around.

"Good girl." Pierre praised, stroking Y/n's arm comfortingly, "That's perfect. You're doing amazing. Now, can you name me the things you can hear?" Kika asked. "Yo-you, the wind, a-and Pierre's breathing." Y/n let out a sigh, "Great, not move three body parts." Kika said. Y/n wiggles her toes, then her fingers, and then her ankle. "That's it. You did perfect, chérie." Pierre praised, "You did so amazing. I'm so proud of you." Kika joined the praising.

Y/n took a couple of more breaths and stood up, "Thank you. For helping." Y/n thanked in a dull voice. "Do you want to tell us what caused your panic attack?" Pierre asked, "It's just...I..." Y/n hesitated, Kika reached over and put a hand on Y/n's thigh again, "It's okay. You don't have to tell us if you aren't ready." Kika spoke, "We're here if you want to though." Pierre added.

"I just started thinking about...someone I really like and I began thinking about my family. They weren't the...they didn't like... they were homophobic and when I thought about them. I thought I was confident in my preferences, but I realized just how much my parents teachings affected me." Y/n explained, "Internalized homophobia, I guess."

Pierre and Kika shared a look, "You're...your parents didn't accept the fact that you liked more than men?" Kika asked, "Yeah, they said that the Bible is against same sex love. Just like all the other Christians who hate the LGBTQ, they use the Bible to "prove" their views. I asked my mother, who caught me kissing my best friend, where in the Bible did it say that loving someone of the same sex and she slapped me." Y/n chuckled.

As Y/n talked, she slid down until her head was in Pierre's lap and her bottom was in Kika's. Kika played with Y/n's shirt while Pierre ran his hand through her hair the best he could but since it was curly, he had to settle for scratching her head. "And then what happened?" Kika asked, urging Y/n to continue, "She allowed me to stay for a bit longer, in the house, but there was constant verbal and physical abuse." Y/n swallowed.

"She thought that if they treated me the way others in the world would treat me, it'd convert me. They tried sending me to conversion therapy, but we got into a fight and I got kicked out. Luckily, the Leclerc's took me in and raised me to be the way I am now. I owe them my life. They're the only family I have now and they've tried to help me, but I refused therapy. I thought I had the right mindset, but now I realize that...I'm not as tough as i thought and the family's tracings did, in fact, get to me." Y/n sighed before realizing she was ranting about problems that they weren't apart of.

Y/n didn't realize just how comfortable she felt around them until she was spilling her past to them. “I just realized I’m trauma dumping to you. I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear this.” Y/n started to sit up, but Pierre pulled her back down while Kika gently pushed her down. “Mon cœur, if we didn’t want to hear, we wouldn’t have asked. We care about you. We…we love you and we want to hear things about you.” Pierre said, “The good or the bad. We want to know whatever it is you want to tell us.” Kika added.

Y/n looked into Pierre’s ocean blue eyes before locking eyes with Kika. The couple stared at Y/n expectantly, “What?” Y/n asked, eyes darting between the two. Pierre groaned and Kika sighed, Pierre thought she would get what they meant when he said it, but maybe saying it constantly as friends didn’t help.

They would have to find a way to confess that couldn’t be confused as a friendly gesture.

After getting dressed for the day, the three set off to walk around town. They were planning on showing Y/n around Italy by taking her to their favorite spots. Making sure her hands never left theirs or a hand was on her body at all times, they showed her all their favorite places before stopping at a cafe for lunch.

“Ah, this place is so cool,” Y/n said, swinging their connected hands back and forth, “Yeah? Do you think you can make it home? I know you’ve been thinking about moving to Italy or are you staying in Monaco?” Kika questioned. “Maybe. I mean, my family’s in Monaco, but you and Pierre are in Italy. So far, I think that I’m team Italy.” Y/n said absentmindedly.

Kika and Pierre shared an excited look. “Tonight. We tell her tonight.” Pierre mouthed to Kika, who agreed. They’d be confessing their love to Y/n tonight during dinner.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Y/n sat on the beach while Kika and Pierre played in the water. She smiled and took some pictures for Instagram and Twitter later, knowing that Pierre would want some for the photo dump he posted sometimes before the next GP. The girl scrolled through Instagram, just looking at whatever her friends posted and looking at reels until she noticed one with her name in it.

Twitter/X when Y/n, Pierre, and Kika look so cute together, but they can't see it.

With the caption reading, 'I don't understand how they can be so obvious and oblivious at the same time.'

Y/n scrambled onto Twitter to find that she indeed was trending alongside Kika and Pierre. Pressing onto the hashtag with her name on it, she read the posts to see what people were saying

Y/n lowered her phone and stared ahead with wide eyes. Had she actually been missing the signs that Pierre and Kika had been throwing her? They were normally super close. Always touching and being super close, so it was hard for her to tell they wanted to be more than friends.

Y/n looked up at the blue sky, trying to think of anything that could've been seen as a hint as that they wanted to be more than friends with Y/n. Nothing came to mind until she started cycling through the things that they usually do with her throughout the years.

The kissing.

Y/n had never had that type of interaction between any of them before this year. She didn’t know when it started, but she knew it just happened one day and she never questioned it. Her forehead, her temple, her nose, her cheeks, her hands, and the top of her head. Now that she thought about it, there were times where they were close to kissing her lips and she just someone hadn’t noticed.

“What’s got you so concentrated?” Pierre’s voice spoke from behind her as he sat down so that she was between his legs, “Yeah, what’s got your attention like that?” Kika questioned, sitting in between Y/n’s legs.

“Ah, it’s nothing. I was just…thinking about stuff.” Y/n waved off their concern, wrapping her arms around the slightly older model while leaning against Pierre. “Are you sure? You looked deep in thought when we came up. We even called you, but you didn’t answer.” Kika said, “Everything is fine. Again, I was just thinking about something. Do you think we can get some gelato?” Y/n asked, quickly changing the subject.

Kika sat up excitedly, “Ooo, gelato sounds perfect. It’s a good idea. Let’s go!” Kika grabbed Y/n’s hand and ran to the nearest gelato shop, “Wait, Ki. What about Pierre?” Y/n asked, looking at the man who was still sitting on the beach with a confused look on his face. “We’ll get him some too. I just wanted to spend some time alone with you, even if it’s just a couple of minutes.” Kika flirted, batting her pretty little lashes at Y/n.

Y/n practically melted in her flip flops.

Now that she has been made aware that the two openly flirt with her, she was going to try and see it. She could now see that Kika tended to use her large brown eyes to her advantage and it always worked on her unknowingly.

“You’re adorable.” Y/n muttered, pinching Kika’s cheeks causing the girl to groan and slap her hands away, “Stop! You’re acting like my grandmother.” Kika whined. The girls walked up to the counter and ordered their gelatos with Pierre getting bacio, Kika getting stracciatella, and Y/n getting lampone.

“Pierre, we’ve got you gelato!” Y/n sung, playfully swaying hips in a weird dance as the two girls approached the man. “What did you get me?” Pierre asked, grabbing the gelato from Y/n’s hands, “Bacio.” Kika answered, “Mmm, lampone is so good. Do you two want to try?” Y/n asked, holding out a spoonful of her gelato out for Pierre.

Pierre stared into her eyes as he took the spoon in his mouth and licked his lips once she took the spoon back, “Cheeky.” Y/n whispered, turning to feed Kika some of it as well.

Y/n decided that if they were really into her, she’d openly flirt with them and let them make the first move. She wasn’t going to take the word of people online and possibly break up their perfect friendship or the couple’s relationship. If anything were to happen, she’d have to let them to do it to make sure that she doesn’t cross any boundaries and make them uncomfortable. “That real is good. Do you want some of mine?” Pierre asked. The trio kept feeding each other spoonful of gelato and making jokes.

Y/n began to feel uncomfortable with how bright the sun was. She reached into her bag and pulled it sunscreen, “We need to put this on. Tans are amazing, but possible skin cancer is not.” Y/n waved the bottle around. Y/n opened the bottle only to have it snatched out of her hand, “Hey!” Y/n gasped, looking at Pierre, “I’ll help you put it on.” Pierre offered. “I’d this and excuse to touch my ass?” Y/n teased, looking at Pierre through narrowed lids, “Who knows?” Pierre shrugged, smiling at the curly-haired girl.

Y/n lifted her hair up so that Pierre could get her neck, “Kika, sit in front of me. I’ll get you covered if you need sunscreen.” Y/n offered, pulling out another bottle of sunscreen. “Yes, please.” Kika crawled in between Y/n’s legs, putting her hair into a bun so none of the sunscreen got into it.

Y/n sat up so that she was on her knees with her legs in an “L” shape. Y/n opened the sunscreen bottle and began applying it to Kika when she felt Pierre’s hands brushing sand off her ass and then sunscreen being applied to her butt and thighs, “I feel like you’re having too much fun touching my ass, Mr. Gasly.” Y/n hummed, “Maybe I am.” Pierre played along, “You hear this, Kiki? We might have to run away together and leave Pierre behind.” Y/n joked as the model laid on her stomach to give Y/n better access to her body.

Y/n sighed, looking through her Instagram feed with a bored expression on her face. Kika and Pierre had gone out to do lord knows what while she stayed in the villa. Y/n groaned, throwing her phone on the bed. Maybe they were were on a date together and that's why they were taking so long to come back.

Y/n got off the bed and grabbed a towel, going to take a shower while waiting for the couple to come back from doing whatever it was that they were doing. Stepping out of the shower and wrapping the towel around her body, Y/n walked out into the bedroom and grabbed her lotion, deodorant, and stuff for her hair. Just as she was about to remove the towel, the door to the bedroom opened up.

“Merde, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were getting dressed.” Pierre cursed, turning so he wasn’t looking at her body anymore, “Shit, you scared me. You’re lucky that i didn’t take off my towel.” Y/n scolded. “Sorry!” Pierre apologized, but he didn’t make the move to leave the room. “Pierre, what’s taking so long?” Kika asked, pushing past him to see Y/n in nothing but a towel.

Kika pulled an outfit out of a bag and tossed it on the bed, “Here put that on and come out when you’re done.” Kika ordered, pulling Pierre out of the doorway and shut the door behind her. Y/n moisturized her body and held up the outfit that was tossed to her. She recognized that this was an outfit that she had bought when she and Kika went shopping together before the trip.

(If you don’t like the outfit, feel free to imagine your own. Just needs to be black)

She didn’t realize she had packed it.

Y/n put on a pair of boots, put her hair in twin buns, and (put on makeup or not. Your choice) walked out of the room to see that Kika and Pierre are also dolled up. Kika in a black mini dress and heels, and Pierre wearing black pants with thin white lines that crossed to male squares and a black button down.

“You guys look good!” Y/n spoke up, grabbing their attention. Pierre and Kika’s eyes scanned her body like they were staring and analyzing a piece of art, “You look amazing, minha vida.” Kika complimented, “So do you! My gosh, your legs are gorgeous.” Y/n said. Kika’s cheeks turned pink, “Oh, thank you. Pierre, didn’t she look good?” Kika asked, turning to Pierre, who was still staring at Y/n, but with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Pierre? Please stop staring.” Y/n said, looking away nervously, “Pierre.” Kika hissed, nudging her boyfriend. Pierre snapped back to attention and gave Y/n and wrapped an arm around Kika’s waist, “You look nice, chérie.” Pierre said, holding out his arm for Y/n to take.

Y/n looked at his arm and reluctantly took it. Even if the people on Twitter were right, Y/n still felt like she was home wrecking their relationship, which is why she decided to let them take control and comes if they really did like her. Y/n cleared her throat, “So, uh, where are we going?” Y/n asked as Pierre led the two of them to his car, opening the door and pushing the seat forward so Y/n could get into the back. “Out.” Pierre amswered cheekily, “But out where?” Y/n questioned as she put on her seatbelt, “We’re just going out for dinner. It’s the last day of our break together before Suzuka.” Kika explained.

Y/n nodded and looked out the window of the car. The only people who were talking were Kika and Pierre, who were mumbling low so she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Y/n was getting annoyed. After rubbing sunscreen on each others bodies, she thought they’d be more open and flirtatious with her, but it seemed like they were just pulling away more.

Maybe the people online were wrong. Maybe they were just seeing things and upon seeing something that wasn’t actually there, they convinced Y/n that the couple had wanted her the way she wanted them. Y/n sighed and looked down at her hands, maybe she was just being…what do the fans call it? Delulu?

Maybe she was being delulu when it came to her relationship with Kika and Pierre. She had an entire panic attack over being in love with another woman and possibly breaking up a relationship and it turns out it might’ve been justified. The woman’s mood soured right then and there. She didn’t want to go out anymore, but remained quiet because it wasn’t their fault she deluded herself into thinking that they’d love her the way she loved them.

“Y/n? We’re here.” Kika spoke, poking her with her mini Kelly, “Oh? Yeah, I’m coming.” Y/n said, trying not to let the emotion she was feeling bored into her voice. Y/n exited the car, ignoring the hand Pierre was offering to her and walked in the restaurant ahead of the couple, “Does she seem upset to you?” Kika asked, “Yeah, I don’t know. Are you sure we should do this tonight?” Pierre inquired. “We should. It might improve her mood.” Kika said.

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It was well into the night and meals were halfway eaten by the time the two were ready to confess. Y/n was just ready to go home because she was tired and didn’t want to continue third wheeling. At the same time, she had no right to be upset when she was the one who deluded herself into thinking they genuinely were interested. Kika wiped her mouth with the cloth napkin before putting it down, "Y/n, there's something we have to--"

"Excuse me."

A new voice interrupted Kika's sentence causing all eyes to turn to the person who interrupted the said woman. It was a gorgeous man with red and black dyed hair, "Hello, can I help you?" Y/n asked politely, "I apologize if this straightforward, but I just thought you were beautiful and wanted to ask if you wanted to come hang out with me." The guy said. Y/n wasn't really interested in him the way he was with her, but she was kind of upset and tired of being the third wheel on this outing, so she didn't see why she couldn't get to know someone new.

The man held out a hand for her to take if she was interested. Y/n looked at the hand and put her hand into his, "Do you guys mind if I go with him? You can make this a date or something." Y/n said, standing up. "It is a date so you can't leave!" Kika blurted, "What do you mean by that, Kika?" Y/n asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Y/n, we just wanted to spend time with you before we all had to go back to our respective jobs. We don't want you blowing us off for some random ass-- person you just met." Pierre spoke, "Then it should be alright if he sits with us, right? And what were you going to say before you changed the word to person? " Y/n questioned. She wasn't trying to be difficult or break up the time they were spending together, but instead trying to take her mind off of the couple and maybe fall in love with someone available.

"Nothing. He was going to say nothing. Y/n, please sit down and let him go. We are just trying to have a nice evening with you." Kika said, "Kika, I understand that and I'm sorry for trying to invite some random dude out of the blue, but I was tired of being the third-wheel. I want to have someone to talk to while you're being all lovey dovey with each other." Y/n sighed, turning to the guy. "I'm sorry, but can we rain check?" Y/n asked

The man pulled a pen out of his pocket and grabbed a paper napkin nearby, bending down and using the table to write something on the napkin, "Don't worry about it. Finish hanging out with your friends and call me whenever. The name's Milo by the way." The guy said, gently placing the paper into her hands.

"It was lovely meeting you." Y/n said, waving as he left. Once Milo was gone, Y/n turned to the couple with a scowl before taking a deep breathe and sitting down. "Listen, Y/n. We didn't mean to ruin your chances at possibly meeting someone you could have a future connection with, but--" "It's fine. It's whatever. I was... never mind. I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling it tonight." Y/n sighed again.

"And that's fine. We are sorry as well. Right, Pierre?" Kika asked, turning to her boyfriend, "No." Pierre answered causing both girl's heads to shoot up, "What?" Kika gasped, "What do you mean by "no"?" Y/n asked. "I meant no. Listen, I'm sorry you feel like the third wheel and I'm sorry you felt like we weren't giving you enough attention..."

"Pierre, what are you..." Kika started

"We actually invited you to this trip because we had something we've been meaning ot tell you..." Pierre continued

"Pierre..." Kika warned.

"We both love you and before you say that you love us too, we love you. As in, we want you to be our girlfrien--" "Pierre!" Kika hissed, hoping to cut him off before Y/n could fully hear him, but it seemed like it was too late. Y/n sighed, "I know that this is a--''

"Finally. I thought I was being delusional." Y/n gave a sigh of relief. The couple shared a confused look before looking to Y/n, "What do you mean by that?" Pierre questioned, "You think I'd let you touch my ass if I didn't like you? I was oblivious for the first part, but something enlightened me and I saw that it was pretty obvious." Y/n shrugged.

"We were trying to make it obvious, but we didn't expect you to actually get the hints." Kika muttered, "I'm oblivious, not stupid." Y/n joked. "So that finally means I can do this." Pierre surged forward and kissed Y/n deeply, "Pierre, we're still the restaurant." Kika said, pulling him back until he let go of Y/n.

"Wow, I didn't expect that." Y/n said, "You guys go wait by the car while I pay." Pierre suggested. Kika grabbed Y/n's hand and lead her outside while Pierre called the waiter so he could pay the bill.

Pierre also ordered a bottle of wine to go before exiting the resturant to see his girlfriend cuddled up to Y/n. Both girls had dopey smiles on their faces and Y/n had Kika's lipstick smeared on her lips, which gave Pierre an idea of what went on while he was paying. "This means you'll take us as your lovers, no?" Pierre asked, "Yeah, of course." Y/n nodded.

Kika cheered, throwing her arms around the two taller people, bringing them into a group hug. "Ah! Amo-vos muito." Kika muttered, burying her head in Pierre's neck, "Je vous aime tous les deux beaucoup." Pierre spoke before Y/n said it in her own native language.

The trio then went home as a newly formed throuple.

I'm sorry I rushed the ending and at one point I had no idea where this was going. I might take this down and rewrite it, but for now, here's you part two

412 notes · View notes

phfenomena · 4 months

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❝you’re my best friend. ❞ || tom blyth x f!reader

request- Could you do something for Tom based off you are in love by Taylor Swift??

A/N- girl i will do that and MOREEE

| WARNINGS- eating, mentions of dying, talk of ants being inside of toms underwear

tom decided it was a brilliant idea to go on a ‘nature walk’ after wrapping up all of his promos, but it felt more like a trek up mt. everest in 100° heat to you. tom had been one of your closest friends for a little over three years. you met one december afternoon after he had moved to brooklyn. you had accidentally dumped your entire cup of coffee onto his nice white shirt, an incident he still hasn’t let you forget.

you studied the profile of tom from behind of him, the way his muscles flexed when gripping the straps of his backpack tighter, the way he stops abruptly to try and make you run into him, and the way he just looks so damn perfect. the thin and airy blanket of sunlight carefully draped over him, making him look like an angel to you. a being sent down from heaven just for you to secretly dissect with your eyes.

you pick up you pace to walk side by side with him, you always liked looking at face, anyway. “if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you were leading me deep into the woods to murder me. why won’t you tell me where we’re going?” you joke and desperately want him to smile at you. his lips curl up and he says “i’m not going to murder you, love. but if you trip and die then that’s your fault. i had no play in that.” he throws his hands up, acting innocent.

“you wouldn’t try to catch me? like a true gentleman? i thought all british guys were gentleman.” you say feigning disappointment. he throws his back and chuckles into the sky. “if i try to catch you and we both go down then you just killed both of us for no reason. better that i live on to tell the tale of your demise.” you narrow your eyes at him and playfully push him. your shoulders brush as you’re walking and you feel like you’re on fire. no proof, one touch. but you felt enough.

“how much longer do we have? we’ve been walking for hours, my legs are about to give out from under me.” you try your hardest to channel your inner karen to truthfully sale your complaining. “we’ve been walking for twenty minutes, and if you need to i can always give you a piggy back ride.” he says with that oh-so-smug smirk, the blood rushes to your cheeks. you hang your head and laugh, trying your best to hide the way you can’t breathe.

he quickly runs ahead of you and stops, signaling for you to stop as well. “i found this place a few months ago, and i just thought you had to see it in person.” he pushes away a wall of branches that meet the tall grass, and reveals a beautiful meadow with a lake nestled in between some trees. you mouth drops as you walk forward. “oh my god, tom. it’s gorgeous.” you mutter as you carefully tread onto the meadow. “yeah, it is.” he whispers, but he’s not looking at the meadow.

he squats down and drops his backpack, pulling out a white blanket you recognized from him linen closet, and an array of snacks and drinks that you both love. you bite your lip to keep from smiling. “a picnic, tom? how sweet of you.” you say sitting down on the blanket and waving your hair out of your face. he takes a seat next to you and just looks at you. “what, do i have something on my face?” “yeah a massive spider right there.” he says and pokes your forehead causing you to fall to the side laughing.

he pulls two small plates out of his bag and hands one to you. “for you, madam.” he says as posh as possible. “why thank you, kind sir.” you reply in your worst british accent you could muster. you both giggle and load your plates up. tom talks aimlessly about what he’s auditioning for and what he thinks he’d like to do, you just nod pretending to understand what he’s talking about. you’re just proud of him for being himself. “yeah, more blond roles! we need the blond hair to make a comeback, even the tiktok girlies say so” you could barley finish your sentence without laughing, knowing how much tom hated the blond.

“or maybe another cowboy thing, i really liked that one.” you shyly admit, averting your eyes back to the beautiful scenery. “why did you like it so much? you’re like obsessed with ‘billy the kid’.” he says laughing and popping another grape into his mouth. you hum and bring your gaze back to him. “no reason, i just love cowboys. you were really working it, don’t get me wrong. but daniel as jesse was just-“ you finish your sentence with a chefs kiss and a giggle. “i’m totally telling him you said that.” your hands cover your face “don’t you dare! he has a girlfriend! he just looks really good as an evil cowboy.” your smile is plastered across your face so hard your cheeks hurt. tom mirrors your expression.

you two sit in comfortable silence just listening to the birds sing their ballads, and the way the wind makes the trees play their own melody. you’ve never felt happier and tom just looks so content. you can hear it in the silence.

as you two, finally, round the corner back to your car you throw your hands up. “freedom at last! no more walking for me!” you squeal and run towards your car, waiting for tom to unlock it. “you know, you could just get your own car instead of using mine whenever you can’t take your bike somewhere.” he laughs while he’s putting away the remnants of your meal in the backseat. “why would i need to buy my own car when i have you? plus you love my bike.” he points out as he’s settling into the drivers seat. the setting sun has reached the horizon, and darkness is taking over the beautiful forest you were just in. you nod as you’re connecting your phone to the bluetooth and shuffle taylor swift for the hour car ride home.

the warm car and toms soft humming pushes you into a calm and tired state. a small smile still glued to your face. you just feel so warm and relaxed, it’s how you always feel with tom. you close your eyes and begin to drift off. tom looks at your empty hand resting on the middle console, and slides his own over yours. your heart beats faster than you can count but you still feign sleep. you can feel it on the way home.

after pretending to be woke up by tom you both head inside of his apartment and drop your bags by the door. you kick your shoes off and collapse onto his couch, groaning. “never make me go on a hike with you again, my entire body hurts.” you complain before he laughs and sits down next to you. “i’m sure you’ll survive. i also have atleast three more planned but i’ll let you recover.” he pats your back and plays a random show, but it acts more like background noise.

“fuck, i have to get home it’s already so late.” you tiredly stand up and stretch, tom puts a hand on your back and whispers “why don’t you just stay the night? it’s too late to driving and you’re tired.” you weigh the choices in your head and you know logically it’s safer to just stay. you nod and sit back down, pulling the blanket that previously draped over both of you back to its original spot. “sounds fine to me, your couch feels like clouds anyway.” tom nervously taps his fingers against his knee and mutters out- “we can sleep in my bed, if you want. you don’t have to, i just thought it’d be more comfortable. it’s a rather small couch.” you’re almost too tired to not freak out over the thought of being in a bed with tom. key word- almost.

your eyes are wide and your face is hot. you manage to stutter out a “yeah, that’s cool.” he smiles and goes to grab extra blankets for the bed, after he turns the corner you cover your face and kick your feet like a schoolgirl. he’s turns the corner right after you calm down and holds out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for you. “i’m gonna go get changed, i think a colony of ants found home in my underwear from our picnic.” you almost wheeze at his comment and throw your head back. “lucky ants, they are.” you yell after he closes his bedroom door.

you settle into his bed and notice how everything smells like him. you’re not going to sleep a wink tonight. he turns his main lamp off and the room is dimly lit by a small night light plugged into the wall. he’s clad in just a tank top and boxers. you felt that you died a little bit on the inside after seeing him, and more of your died at the thought of laying next to him. he offers a small goodnight and rolls over so his back is facing you. you stare at his ceiling and try to fight the massive shit-eating grin that wants to come out.

you laid there for twenty minutes listening to his breathing before he turns over and faces you, still awake. “you’re my best friend, you know? i’ve never loved being around someone more. jus’ make everything feel so easy.” he whispers into the night, and you knew what it was. he is in love. you turn on your side to face him and smile wide. “thank you, tom. i’d say you’re my best friend as well but i don’t think rachel would like that, but just between us. you’re my best friend, and there’s no one else i’d follow blindly into the woods.” you whisper back, all nerves being forgotten. you can barley see his smiling face in the light, but it warms your heart. you stare into his eyes, wanting to flip back over and ignore the tension you feel. his eyes dart between your lips and your eyes, as if silently asking for permission.

you lightly nod and he sits up slightly and meshes your lips together. it was short and sweet and it leaves you feeling giddy. you grab the back of his neck and pull him back in, pouring your heart out into the kiss. he falls towards you, laying on top of you. he pulls away and cups the side of your face with his hand. you both snap out of the spell you were in and start laughing, hysterically. “i’ve been in love with you since i like met you, tom! daniel’s not the reason i love watching ‘billy the kid’ so much, i love it because you look so fucking good in it.” you confess, still laughing.

his head hangs into the crook of your neck as he laughs. ��i know! i’ve been desperately in love with you as well, rachel and josh have been hyping me up for months to do that. they’re gonna be so proud of us.” you laugh with him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“we’re so stupid. i should’ve just made a move the first day i met you.” you say just above a whisper. “when you spilled your coffee all over me then tried to wipe it off with napkins?” you shove him off and turn your back to him.

“stop bringing that up!” “you brought it up first!”

#billy the kid x reader #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth #tom blyth x you #tom blyth fluff #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #william bonney smut #william bonney fluff #william bonney x reader #william bonney #tom blyth x reader fluff

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upsidedownwithsteve · 5 months

Text

DAY TWO: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Eddie had counted the days by scoring lines into his bedroom wall, jagged and ugly and uneven. It wasn’t even his room, not really. His stuff was there, his guitar - the strings close to breaking with how much he’d played it, some of his comics, his old painted figurines.

Everything was just covered in vines, wet and overwhelming, taking up space on the walls, the floor, winding around his kitchen counters and sneaking into the empty fridge. He wasn’t sure how was still alive. He stopped questioning it somewhere around the one hundred and thirtieth day. And on day two hundred, he realised no one was coming for him.

Everyone thought he was dead.

Eddie wasn’t really sure that he wasn’t.

But he was standing and walking and breathing and when he moved around the upside down, he realised that depending on where he went, he could hear pockets of his old life. Eddie wasn’t sure how, in fact, sometimes he thought he was imagining it. Dustin’s voice near the school - empty in front of Eddie, filled only with vines and dust - but he could stand by the lockers and hear the kids voices, faded and far away, never able to answer.

On some days, If he walked into town, ducking behind rusted cars to hide from flying creatures, he could hear Steve and Robin quietly bickering behind the counter of Family Video. Eddie had tried to call to them, tried to flash the lights like they had before but nothing seemed to work. Not even the time when he lost it, kicking over stand after stand until every video tape was on the floor, crushed under his boots.

He didn’t like to hang around his trailer often. He didn’t like to hear Wayne. Not when all the old man did was cry.

So Eddie scored another line in the wall of the room that wasn’t really his room and he headed outside before Wayne came home.

December twenty fourth. Christmas Eve.

There was stuff falling from the sky, white but not snow, a strange kind of ash that seemed to come and go without rhyme or reason, this dimension defying the laws of day and night, seasons and weather.

It was just always dark.

Except now, as he headed towards the park that day desolate in the middle of town, a glow came from amongst the trees. It twinkled faintly, different colours blinking in and out of view from the bare branches, the shadow of something that was never there - not in this world, not here.

It came from above, from where things stood the right side up, the afterglow of fairy lights that were hung between the canopies, red, green, purple, orange and blue. Every now and then they blinked in the air, the reflection of a tiny bulb in mid air, no real wires to be seen.

It was like there was a gate left open, a tiny crack between worlds that sometimes let things slip in. Always in, never out. Eddie had tried. Eddie had tried so hard. But these cracks in the worlds gave him lights and the voices of his friends and now, as he sat on a rotting bench underneath the bare bone trees, he heard the faint sounds of people singing.

It was a ghostly noise, too far away to be too loud, faint and haunting, the sounds of Christmas carollers from a world he couldn’t see. But Eddie sat in the empty park and listened, his pale cheeks lit up in aquamarine and cherry red every time those little lights flashed.

And when the singing finished and he was sure he could hear a bell tower somewhere, he counted down and bowed his head, staring at the winding vines that were crawling up the leg of the bench, inching towards him and his somehow still beating heart.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered.

He wasn’t sure who he was talking to. Maybe himself. Maybe no one.

But somewhere, in their houses and outside of church and amongst the cheer of the holiday celebrations in Hawkins park, some people heard him.

#Eddie Munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #Eddie Munson fanfiction #Eddie Munson fic #Eddie Munson oneshot #eddie munson imagine #Eddie Munson blurb #EAC23

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svnoohe4rts · 1 year

Text

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE: TO THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP. ― rule number one.

pairing: park jongseong x fembodied!reader

summary: sunghoon had been strict to follow the rules written on the list the two of you had written years ago, especially rule number three. but when jay suddenly makes an appearance in your life, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, he broke rule number three a long time ago.

word count: 11,8k

warnings: angst, jealousy, just sunghoon being a bad best friend in general, SMUT ! MDNI . proofread but there may be some mistakes, please don’t be afraid to point them out !

masterlist ! next

A GUIDE TO THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP.

Sunghoon saw the list of rules you two had written together every time he opened the top drawer of his nightstand table. The once white, lined paper almost had a yellow tint to it now and your handwriting had smudged to the point where it was practically impossible for Sunghoon to read the already poorly spelled sentences.

Not that he needed to read it, no, he had already memorized what the paper said years ago; long before the words faded and the paper crumbled.

It was the summer break between 4th and 5th grade when you and Sunghoon sat down underneath the big tree in his backyard while drinking some lemonade Sunghoon’s mother had made earlier that summer morning, writing a list of rules.

A list of rules for the two of you to follow in order to have the ultimate friendship.

RULE NUMBER ONE: NO OTHER BEST FRIENDS ALLOWED.

Sunghoon had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. There was not a single memory you could recall where Sunghoon was not there, being practically glued to your hip ever since the two of you were born. In the video your parents had taken of you where you had just learned how to ride a bicycle Sunghoon could be heard cheering for you in the background, just like he was seen secretly blowing the candle out on your seventh birthday.

He could also be spotted in the framed picture hanging off the wall in your parent's room, the picture your parents had asked some poor tourist to take off you when Sunghoon came with your family on a skiing trip when you were fifteen. Everyone who saw the picture always asked who the handsome boy was and if it was your brother, which was almost true - Sunghoon was almost like a brother to you at this point.

A brother.

And with Sunghoon being your best friend and practically a part of your family, why would you ever need another best friend?

Both of your signatures could be found at the bottom of the page, Sunghoon’s first attempt to write his signature was scribbled over as he misspelled his own name and needed you to help him spell it. You had kissed the paper as a final way to seal the contract before forcing Sunghoon to do the same, and Sunghoon remembers shuddering in disgust as he pressed his lips onto the same spot as you - indirectly kissing his best friend, something he never wanted to experience, ever.

After that, you handed Sunghoon the list, telling him that he could keep it; knowing he would forget the rules otherwise knowing how forgetful he could sometimes be. So he did, storing it in the top drawer of his bedside table; where it remained, even ten years later.

‘’Wanna stay for dinner? I think my mom mentioned something about trying some new recipe she found,’’

��’Can’t. Jay asked me to come over, we still have that English project to finish, remember?’’

A frown formed on Sunghoon’s face, watching as you kept your eyes glued to the screen of your phone. With a groan emerging from the back of his throat, he put his hand over your phone screen; covering whatever it was on your phone that possibly could’ve had you so invested, so invested that you hadn’t been paying any attention to Sunghoon for the last twenty minutes.

‘’But you’re always hanging out with Jay,’’

Sunghoon hated Jay.

Maybe hate wasn’t the right word to describe the feelings he felt towards Jay, maybe it was a little too harsh; dislike was probably a more fitting and less brutal word to describe what he felt towards the boy who had stolen his best friend away from him.

The tall, mysterious and seemingly charismatic boy had suddenly made an appearance in your life three months back. Sunghoon remembers hearing the name Jay trail off your lips for the first time when you were comfortably laying in his bed, watching as he tried clearing a level he had been stuck on for the last couple of weeks. He also remembers just shrugging it off as you told him about how you got partnered up with the new student for your English class as he focused on the monster taking up the screen of his TV instead, both his brows furrowed and the tip of his tongue poking his cheek in concentration.

The second time the name Jay left your lips, he was sitting in the school's cafeteria. He remembers scrolling through his phone while you talked about how easy your English assignment was, and that you had Jay to thank for making it so easy for you. He also remembers you rolling your eyes when he asked who Jay was, before you lightly hit him in the arm for not listening to you.

By the nth time Jay’s name had spilled past your lips, Sunghoon wondered if you had broken the first rule of your contract.

Especially when you suddenly could no longer attend your daily hangouts after school, also known as you going to his house to do nothing for a couple of hours before going home, only to repeat the same thing the next day. You had accompanied him home from school for as long as Sunghoon could remember, so why would it change now, ten years later?

Well, Sunghoon blamed Jay for changing the routine the two of you had kept going for years.

Suddenly, you were too busy accompanying Jay to his house after school instead. To work on your assignment, you had claimed, and that maybe you could come over afterward; if it wasn’t too dark out, that being said - even though Sunghoon had offered you to spend the night multiple times.

You never did come over after you went to Jay’s house nor did you ever spend the night. Sunghoon wondered if it was because you’d rather hang out with Jay, who had managed to snatch you away from him in every way possible, even when he wasn’t even present.

Like right now, for example.

Glaring at the boy sitting in front of you, you rolled your eyes before pushing his big hand away from the screen of your phone. ‘’We study together, Sunghoon. I kind of have to hang out with him.’’ You let out before your eyes wandered back to your phone, Sunghoon watching with the same frown plastered on his face as you typed something out using both your thumbs.

Watching as you typed, he tried changing the subject, not wanting to talk about the boy anymore. ‘’Who are you texting?’’ He tried peeking over your phone, to no avail; he couldn’t even see half of the screen from where he was sitting. Shifting around in his bed, you continued typing with a small smile on your lips, ‘’Jay, he’s asking if he should pick me up.’’

Feeling a lump form in his throat, which he didn’t know was in distress or annoyance, Sunghoon came to the realization he’d never be able to escape the topic of Park Jay; no matter how hard he tried.

‘’Tell him no, I’ll drive you.’’

His voice finally caused you to look up at him, properly this time, the small smile remaining on your lips. Sunghoon knew the smile wasn’t for him, yet it somewhat eased the uneasiness he was feeling from the thought of watching you get in someone else's car, more specifically Jay’s car, when he could easily drive you. ‘’Really?’’ You let out, both your brows raised and the screen of your phone turning off; giving Sunghoon the slightest hope that you wouldn’t turn it back on.

Nodding in response, he snatched the phone out of your hands, not giving you the chance to turn it back on; putting it behind his back. ‘’Only if you promise to pay attention to me for the remaining time.’’ He let out, causing a small chuckle to trail off your lips as you sat up straight against the headboard of his bed.

With your hands finding their way to his face, your soft hands squeezing his cheeks together; Sunghoon felt the lump in his throat completely disappear. ‘’I promise to pay attention to my clingy best friend.’’ You grinned, Sunghoon staring at you in distaste before turning his face away from you; causing your soft hands to slip away from his face. Pretending to wipe your touch away from his cheeks, he shook his head while listening to the giggles trailing off your lips.

‘’First of all, I’m not clingy,’’ He spoke, ‘’Second of all, you’re not my grandma so you have no business squeezing my cheeks like that.’’

Grinning at him, you once again grabbed onto his cheeks, ‘’I might not be your grandma, but I’m your best friend.’’

Fighting back a smile, he once again tried getting away from your grip; both of you laughing and Sunghoon suddenly felt like he was twelve again - when you were his only best friend and didn’t have to worry about you drifting away from him.

You remember when you laid eyes on the boy named Jay for the first time.

With his dark hair slicked back and pieces of hair falling onto his forehead, he had walked into the classroom with his hands shoved down the front pockets of his pants. You were sure he caught not only your attention, but everyone else’s as well; with his hawk-like eyes and sharp features, it was almost impossible not to find him alluring after all.

And with your professor introducing the stranger as Jay who had just moved schools, he had gazed over the class and nodded his head before taking a seat - the class continuing on as if nothing had happened.

Not for you though.

You remember watching him for the next couple of days after that, out of pure curiosity. You remember watching as he mindlessly browsed his laptop as your professor spoke with no open document in sight to take notes, you also remember how he got told off multiple times for having his AirPods in during class; only for him to show up the next day with the AirPods back in his ears. You admired him for that.

It took a week, a week of you as well as everyone else watching him from afar, for the seemingly quiet boy to be announced as your partner for the upcoming assignment.

You remember hearing his voice for the first time when he stood in front of you after class, and how you thought his voice suited him perfectly; the low and deep tone of his voice matching the enigmatic aura that seemed to surround him wherever he went. You also remember feeling baffled the first time you sat down to study, when he seemed to know everything surrounding the subject even though you knew he hadn’t been listening nor had he been taking notes of anything the professor had spoken of.

The once mysterious boy quickly became not so mysterious and you suddenly found yourself being around him more frequently.

You had learned a lot about the boy during the three months you had spent getting closer to him. Like the fact that he had a birthmark shaped somewhat like a heart on the side of his neck for example, a birthmark that you had observed the one time he leaned over you to look at the screen of your computer, or that he always smelled musky, a tone of bergamot following him everywhere he went - the smell engulfing you each time he pulled you into a hug to greet you.

You often found yourself wondering if you were the only one who knew those small things about him, and if the rest of the world still saw him as the mysterious boy you yourself once saw him as.

‘’I was beginning to think you flaked on me.’’

Once again, the woody fragrance you had now grown accustomed to engulfed you as the dark-haired boy towered above you, a playful smirk accompanying his words as you stood outside his front door.

The sky had gotten significantly darker compared to when you got into Sunghoons car, the night sky slowly replacing the orange tone that had decorated the sky just a few minutes prior. A smile formed on your lips as you shook your head, your eyes meeting his; taking a moment to observe his hooded eyes.

You had learned a lot about the boy during the few months you had known him, sure - yet you had the lingering feeling that there was still something about him you had yet to learn.

The feeling washed over you every time you got a glimpse of his eyes, each time leaving you to wonder just what it was that you had yet to learn. You knew he was an only child, you knew his father worked away from home which meant he had the apartment to himself most of the time, you knew his favorite color was purple thanks to the one time he came with you shopping - when he had pointed out one shirt in particular, a purple one, telling you to get it because he thought you’d look good in his favorite color.

You felt like you knew everything there was to know at this point, yet the strange and almost obscure feeling lingered.

‘’You really think I’d do that?’’ You chuckled as he stepped aside, allowing you to step into the dimly lit and quiet apartment. He liked it that way, you had figured out, considering the fact that it was always eerily quiet every time you came over; no radio mindlessly playing in the background, no random show playing on the TV - just simple quietness.

A chuckle emerged from the back of his throat as he watched you take your shoes off, shaking his head. ‘’I’d hope not, I mean, I’d like to consider us friends at this point.’’

The words caused you to look up at him, your lips slightly parted before a small grin spread across your lips. ‘’Should I feel honored? You make it sound like I should,’’ You grinned, successfully kicking your shoe off. Jay rolled his eyes in response, leaning his upper body against the wall behind him. ‘’No, but I think friends reply to each other's messages, no?’’

Lightly hitting his bicep, something Jay had figured out you did when you felt comfortable around someone, you shook your head. ‘’I’m sorry, I was at Sunghoons house and I forgot to reply,’’

The sudden mention of Sunghoon caused Jay to raise one of his eyebrows. ‘’Sunghoon? Let me think,’’ He hummed, squinting his eyes as if he was thinking, ‘’The boy you’re always hanging out with, right? The one you grew up with?’’ This time, it was your turn to roll your eyes after staring at him in disbelief for a moment. ‘’Yes, Sunghoon, the boy I’ve told you about like, what, a thousand times?’’ You let out, squinting your eyes back at him.

Jay had yet to meet Sunghoon, despite attending the same school as the two of you. There had been plenty of instances where they could’ve met, like every time you bumped into Jay in the hallways while casually talking to Sunghoon - your introverted friend, however, always just gave you a quick nod whenever he saw your face lit up upon seeing the other boy; leaving before you even had the opportunity to introduce the two.

You just shrugged it off as Sunghoon being his introverted self, and meeting new people just wasn’t his forte. You, however, had yet to learn about the boy's hatred towards the other boy and the fact that he had no desire whatsoever to meet the boy who had stolen his best friend away.

A smirk formed on Jay’s lips, gently punching you in the shoulder. ‘’I’m just playing, I’m assuming he drove you here?’’ He asked, not taking his eyes off of you as he started walking down the hallway leading to his room. You nodded in response, fixing the bag hanging off your shoulder as you followed him; earning a nod back from the taller boy.

‘’Hopefully I’ll get to meet this infamous Sunghoon one day.’’

‘’Maybe one day.’’

‘’How come you’re taking English classes if you already know all of this stuff?’’

Your question caused a low chuckle to emerge from the back of Jay's throat, not taking his eyes off the book placed in front of him. ‘’I think this is just common knowledge, Y/N,’’ He responded, causing you to frown. ‘’That’s just an indirect way of calling me stupid.’’ You mumbled, tearing your eyes off the boy seated in front of you before returning your gaze to the book placed in your lap.

Jay looked up at you, holding back a chuckle at the sight of you pouting; a small smile forming on his lips as he leaned over the bed, grabbing onto your chin before tilting your head up. Your eyes immediately met his, your eyes wide from his sudden action and the foreign feeling of his rough fingers gently gripping your chin; your eyes traveling down to the smile he wore on his plump lips.

And you almost missed the way his eyes traveled down to your lips, too.

‘’I don’t think you’re stupid.’’

Even though you felt like there was something you didn’t know about the boy, there was one thing you had learned - he wasn’t too big on psychical contact. It took weeks for him to greet you with a hug, only raising his eyebrows at you every time you tried to wrap your arms around him; leaving you feeling both embarrassed and dumb for thinking he’d want to hug you in the first place.

Until one day, he had taken you by surprise when you were waiting for him by his locker; his big hands suddenly grabbing onto your shoulders from behind before spinning you around, laughing at your shocked expression before hugging you for the first time.

After that, despite you stumbling over your words from utter shock from him hugging you without you initiating it, it became a habit to hug each other whenever you greeted one another.

You noticed he grew more comfortable around you as his small, almost unnoticeable touches happened more frequently. You remember him placing one of his hands on your thigh while you were reading something out loud and he wanted to read whatever you were reading too, or the one time he wrapped an arm around your shoulders while walking to the school's library; all while laughing at something you had said.

But this, him touching your face, had never happened before.

Noticing the way your lips separated like you were about to say something, but not a single word leaving your lips; he chuckled at the clearly flustered state you were in before letting go of your chin, going back to leaning against the wall by his bed. ”Plus I think it’d look good on my resume, don’t you think?” You just stared at him for a moment, watching as he went back to reading like he hadn’t just grabbed your chin; clearing your throat in a desperate attempt to hide your now flustered state.

‘’You know,’’ You let out after a while, trying to change the topic, ‘’I keep getting the feeling that there’s something I have yet to know about you.’’

Jay just cocked an eyebrow, he could feel you looking at him; keeping his eyes glued to the page he was reading. ‘’Yeah? And what would that be?’’ He let out, looking up at you before slightly tilting his head. You shrugged, ‘’I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure it out.’’ He just stared at you for a moment upon hearing your words, his eyes meeting yours as silence engulfed both of you.

‘’You want to know what I think?’’

You nodded your head, feeling both confused and nervous from the sudden silence - had you accidentally managed to offend him?

He took a moment to just look at you, his eyes scanning your face; causing you to slightly furrow your eyebrows as his eyes met yours once more. ‘’I think there’s a lot you don’t know about me.’’

The seriousness lingering behind his words caused your facial expression to soften and a chuckle to leave the back of your throat, shaking your head as you tore your eyes off the boy sitting in front of you; Jay, however, kept his eyes on you - watching as you went back to reading whatever page you were on, a small smile plastered on your lips.

You wondered if he was just trying to tease you, make fun of you even; realizing your sudden confession probably sounded like a joke to him, something you blurted out to avoid having him tease you for your flushed state.

‘’Yeah? Like what?’’

‘’Do you want me to show you?’’

His sudden exclamation caused your eyes to immediately dart back up, your eyes immediately being met by his own dark ones. Expecting to be greeted by his usual playful smile, you suddenly grew nervous once more as you realized the playful grin you had expected to see was nowhere to be seen.

No, with his eyes burning into your skin and his head slightly tilted, you realized he wasn’t teasing you.

‘’What?’’ You let out, trying your best to decipher the stern look on his face. It wasn’t unusual for Jay to walk around with a stern look on his face, his hawk-like eyes and sharp features making it look like he was constantly judging everyone around him. But this, the look he was giving you right now? No, it was nothing like the usual stern look he wore on his face.

‘’I said, do you want me to show you?’’

With his eyes still burning into your own, you found yourself unable to look away. His low eyes made it almost impossible for you to tear your gaze off him, desperate to understand what the new look he was giving you meant; even if it meant you had to stare right back at him, looking and feeling dumbfounded.

‘’Show me what?’’ The quietness of his apartment made you wonder if he could hear your heart practically beating out of your chest, suddenly feeling almost naked as he stared at you; his dark eyes piercing into your soul, causing a wave of uncertainty to wash over you. Your voice almost came out in a broken whisper, and you wondered if he even heard you.

The deafening silence almost made you repeat your question, keyword almost; you weren’t sure if you wanted him to respond, you weren’t sure if you wanted to know what his response would be.

Jay, however, did hear your question - but he didn’t reply, no, instead he tore his eyes off you to grab the novel he was reading; the noise of him slamming the book shut ricocheting off the walls, almost causing you to jump.

You didn’t even have time to react to the sudden noise before you suddenly felt Jay place both hands on either side of your legs, and before you knew it - he was towering right above you; his arms caging you in.

At that moment, that’s exactly what you felt like; like you were being caged. Like you were being held hostage, with one of his arms now placed against the headboard of his bed where you were comfortably resting your head and the other one placed by your shoulder, you froze.

His face was now only a few inches away from your own, almost feeling his breath fan across your face; the closeness almost causing you to hold your breath as you were unable to do anything but look at him with wide eyes.

The shock of him being so close to you caused your heart to race, his musky scent surrounding you in a way it had never surrounded you before; suddenly being able to smell his shampoo and the mint gum he had been chewing on a few minutes prior. You had been close to him many times before, you had been closer to him than this; like when he hugged you for example, your cheek pressing against his chest as his arms wraps around your figure.

But this? This was completely different from the friendly hugs he usually gave you. This was so much more intimate than all the hugs he had given you combined, his eyes still piercing into your own as you found yourself unable to look away once more - your lips parted and eyes wide as you stared right back at him.

His eyes darted between your eyes and lips, his dark gaze sending shivers down your spine. You desperately tried to say something, to move, anything: but almost like your limbs were frozen in place, you simply couldn’t; feeling like your whole brain had shut down and your vocal cords had never existed in the first place, you were left to do nothing but stare at him in pure shock.

At that moment, you wished that Jay would’ve left some random show to play on the TV, you wished that he’d at least put on some music while you were studying - anything, anything that could distract you from the way his lips were hovering above your own.

Jay’s eyes met your own once more before a low chuckle emerged from the back of his throat, the sudden sound breaking the silence almost causing you to jump once again. You suddenly felt him bop your nose using the hand he had previously placed right by your head, causing you to blink as a small smile formed on his lips, and before you knew it; he was no longer towering right above you.

‘’I’m just playing with you,’’ He laughed as climbed off of you, his musky scent no longer engulfing you and the mint on his breath no longer invading your senses, ‘’God, you should’ve seen the look on your face! What, do you think I’m some sort of serial killer?’’

Letting go of a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, you forced an awkward chuckle to leave your throat; the uneasiness and confusion lingering in your shaky chuckle being evident. You were quick to tear your gaze off him, almost feeling the need to gasp for air; your cheeks warm and your chest heaving under the shirt you were wearing. You could feel your heart beating and you were almost certain Jay could hear it from across the bed as well, the smile on his lips remaining as he shook his head at your panic, grabbing the book he had disregarded minutes prior.

Like nothing had ever happened, he went back to reading the novel your teacher had assigned you to read; leaving you to uncomfortably shift around in his bed, trying your best to find a comfortable position - trying your best to calm both your racing heart and thoughts.

The thought of Jay almost kissing you didn’t leave your mind for the entire night after that, not even when you found yourself in your own bed hours later - staring at the ceiling as you recalled the feeling of his breath on your face and his scent engulfing you, leaving you to wonder if you had wanted him to kiss you.

The thought remained, even when you woke up the following morning.

Like a stone, it sat in your stomach from the second your eyes fluttered open; only to be greeted by the morning sun peaking through the blinds. On your way to school, the thought still lingered; staring out the window of the passenger seat of Sunghoons car as he mindlessly talked about something, something you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to no matter how hard you tried.

Even during math, the thought of Jay clouded your mind as you desperately tried to focus on the numbers filling your page. But instead, you only stared at the empty paper placed in front of you, the pen you were holding in your hand ghosting over the paper; unable to think about anything but Jay’s body pressing against your own and the way his lips had ghosted over your own.

You, however, despite Jay potentially trying to kiss you clouding your mind; couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were making it all up. Perhaps Jay hadn’t actually tried to kiss you, maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you; maybe he had actually just tried to tease you, he did enjoy seeing you all flustered after all - something you had learned the hard way.

Jay had made you flustered multiple times during your short friendship, more times than you could count. Like when he’d compliment you on the smallest things, for example, the jewelry you chose to wear, or when he’d compliment you on your choice of perfume for that particular day; telling you that you smelled good while pulling you in for a hug to greet you. The smirk he’d wear on his lips every time he’d see your cheeks turn a peachy color made it clear that he enjoyed seeing you like that, making you wonder if he did it purely to make you flustered.

And with the same smirk on his lips, this time while being dangerously close to your face, you were left to wonder if he was in fact just trying to make you flustered.

‘’Are you okay?’’

Sunghoon’s sudden voice caused you to snap out of your thoughts, your eyes landing on the boy walking beside you. With his brows slightly furrowed together, he stared at you; waiting for you to reply. Clearing your throat, you nodded. ‘’Sorry, what were you saying?’’ You mumbled, your gaze returning to the ground underneath you.

A day later, and Jay was still preoccupying your mind; unbeknownst to Sunghoon, who was too busy celebrating the fact that you finally agreed to hang out with him after school. So busy that he almost failed to notice the way you hadn’t been listening to a single word that had left his mouth since that very same morning when he picked you up outside your house, so busy that he almost didn’t notice the way you had only hummed in response to whatever he had said.

Until he eventually did realize, hours later - when you hadn’t uttered a single word for the past fifteen minutes.

Pressing his lips into a thin line, he looked at you; his steps coming to a halt, grabbing onto your wrist to prevent you from taking as much as a single step. The feeling of his hand wrapping around your wrist caused you to look up at him once more, both your eyebrows raised as your eyes met his now concerned ones. ‘’What’s up?’’

You could clearly hear the concern lingering behind his words and for a moment you felt guilty, guilty for making him worry. Letting out a chuckle, you shook your head, ‘’It’s nothing, I just have a lot on my mind right now, college, you know?’’

If things had been different and if Sunghoon hadn’t been your best friend for the past twenty years, he would’ve believed you. But he had known you his entire life and he most definitely did not believe you, he could easily tell there was something more than just college on your mind by just looking at you - leaving him to wonder why you felt the need to hide something from him, a frown forming on his face.

‘’You sure?’’ He asked, scanning your face; trying to find out what it was that was preoccupying your mind, what it was that had you so deep into your own thoughts - to no avail as you only flashed him a bigger smile, causing Sunghoon to poke the inside of his cheek using his tongue.

‘’Cut the bullshit.’’

The smile that you had just worn on your lips slowly faded as your best friend called you out, a frown taking over your features as a small sigh escaped your lips; feeling Sunghoon let go of your wrist, letting his hand fall back down the side of his body. ‘’It’s really nothing,’’ You mumbled, avoiding his gaze; missing the way he rolled his eyes upon hearing your words.

‘’If you say so.’’

Your gaze once again landed on the boy as he continued walking, your eyes landing on the back of his head; another sigh escaping your lips as you debated on whether or not to tell your best friend what was weighing you down.

You trusted Sunghoon. You trusted Sunghoon more than you trusted anyone else. he was your best friend, after all, a brother even. But despite your close relationship with one another, love and everything surrounding the topic was just something you didn’t talk about; no matter what.

Maybe it was because of that one time you told him about the crush you had on one of the boys in your class during middle school and he laughed at you, leaving you feeling both embarrassed and angry, angry that you told him in the first place if he was just going to make fun of you. Or maybe it was because of that one time you had to comfort him after he got rejected, something he refused to speak about ever again; you weren’t sure, but one thing was for sure.

You simply did not talk about those things. Or you didn’t, until what had been on your mind eventually slipped past your lips.

‘’I think Jay tried to kiss me last night.’’

As soon as the words left your lips, Sunghoon regretted ever asking.

A sudden burning sensation spread across his chest, feeling like his heart was caving in; his breath almost hitching in his throat upon hearing your words. Feeling like someone had grabbed onto his heart and ripped it out of his chest, crushing it before stomping on it; he wished he had never asked you in the first place.

He wished he wouldn’t have asked what was on your mind, he wished he wouldn’t have known you so well to the point where he could easily tell that something was wrong - anything, anything to avoid the ache he was suddenly feeling in his chest, an ache he had never experienced before.

Almost feeling the need to grab onto the fabric covering his chest, he froze. Like he was unable to move, he just stared at his car that stood parked in the school's parking lot a few feet away.

‘’Did you kiss him?’’

The words trailed off Sunghoon’s lips before he could even comprehend what he was saying, the words leaving his lips before he could even consider what to say; not sure if he actually wanted an answer to his question.

You just stared at him, confusion washing over you upon seeing his reaction. With his back still facing you, you furrowed your brows; making you wonder if perhaps you shouldn’t have said anything, considering the way his steps came to an abrupt stop and his shoulder tensed. ‘’No,’’ You let out, uncertainty lingering in your voice as you stared at him.

‘’Did you want to kiss him?’’

Squeezing his eyes shut, Sunghoon had to bite his own tongue in order to not say anything else. He didn’t even want to know if you wanted to kiss Jay, no, he didn’t want you to want to kiss Jay; the question slipping past his lips quicker than he was able to think.

Sunghoon wasn’t a religious man, he had never been and he probably never would be either. But at that moment, Sunghoon prayed for the first time in his life; with his eyes squeezed shut, he prayed that you’d say no.

He prayed that you’d laugh, he prayed that you would tell him how you didn’t want to kiss Jay - anything, he prayed for you to say anything other than a yes.

He, however, didn’t know if the silence that followed his question was any better than if you would’ve said yes.

Turning around to face you, he felt the heavy feeling in his chest spread even further as he spotted the look on your face. With your lips pressed into a thin line, you just stared at him; causing Sunghoon’s heart to sink, your silence hurting more than if you were to say yes.

‘’Did you?’’ You bit down on your lower lip as he repeated his question, his brown eyes now staring into your own. You tried to figure out what the look on his face meant, the look that he usually wore on his face whenever he felt disappointed. But he wasn’t disappointed, not right now, he couldn’t be, right? What was there to possibly be disappointed about?

‘’No, I mean, I don’t know,’’ You mumbled, shrugging your shoulders as you spoke. Fighting the urge to avoid his piercing gaze, you nibbled on your bottom lip; the look on his face making you wonder whether he was disappointed or just felt awkward.

The sudden dry chuckle that left his lips, however, told you everything you needed to know. ‘’You don’t know?’’ Almost speaking through gritted teeth, the tone of his voice taking you by surprise; causing you to frown.

‘’Yeah, I don’t know,’’ You let out, your eyebrows furrowed together as he shook his head; another dry chuckle, a chuckle in disbelief, ripping through his chest.

‘’You have to know if you wanted him to kiss you or not Y/N,’’ He argued, not taking his eyes off of you, watching as your eyes widen in surprise. ‘’What? I don’t know Sunghoon, I don’t know if I wanted him to kiss me or not!’’ You defended yourself, confusion washing over you as the boy in front of you only seemed to grow even more agitated the more you spoke.

Letting out a sigh in annoyance, Sunghoon ran one of his hands through his hair in an attempt to somewhat calm himself down, ‘’For fucks sake,’’

‘’Why are you getting mad?’’

Your question caused Sunghoon to freeze, letting his arm fall down the side of his body again, his lips parting like he was about to say something; but with not a single word leaving his lips, the boy remained silent.

You were right, why was he getting mad?

Any other best friend would be happy, happy that their best friend met someone - so why was Sunghoon feeling like someone stabbed him in the heart, and not happy? Why did the thought of his best friend almost kissing another guy, someone who wasn’t him, cause a burning feeling to spread across his chest?

Your big eyes, filled with both surprise and disappointment caused Sunghoons gaze to soften. Realizing he had lashed out at you with no real explanation, confusing both you and himself, he placed his tongue between his teeth. ‘’We’ll hang out some other day, alright?’’ He managed to mumble after a moment of silence, his voice low and you were sure you could hear what sounded like both anger and sadness lingering behind his words.

‘’Sunghoon, wait,’’

The boy had already turned around before you could even utter as much as a word, feeling the need to reach out and grab onto him to stop him from walking away from you; your hand leaving your side, just to retract it just as quickly - realizing it was no use.

He was already walking away, leaving you to stand alone in the school's parking lot.

Feeling both confused and as if someone had just punched him in the face, Sunghoon came to the realization that you had in fact broken the first rule. And maybe, just maybe, he had broken one of the rules himself.

Radio silence.

Sunghoon didn’t pick you up the following day, even though he had picked you up every single day ever since he got his license and even though you stood outside your house at 8 AM sharp - his car never turned the corner, like he always did.

Nor did he text you that night, after leaving you in the parking lot all on your own; leaving you to take the bus as your only ride home left you stranded.

Nothing but utter, complete radio silence.

Perhaps it was your own fault, you thought, you had been zoned out the entire day and completely uninterested in anything he had said after all. But the confusion still lingered, the confusion as to why he lashed out at you; as to what could've gotten him so upset to the point where he grew so aggravated, to the point where he felt the need to leave you with no explanation, no nothing.

Instead, you were left confused, with tears staining your cheeks all the way until the early hours of the morning, but most of all: hurt.

You were left hurt.

The boy now standing in front of you, however, seemed equally as confused with your unannounced presence.

‘’Y/N? What are you doing here?’’ Jay let out in surprise as he opened his front door, only to reveal you standing there; the cold winds sending goosebumps down your arms as you shoved your hands further down your pockets in an attempt to warm yourself up. You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his and Jay wondered if your cheeks were red from the cold autumn weather that had slowly been approaching, or if you had been crying.

‘’Can I come in, or is it a bad time?’’

Maybe it wasn’t the most ideal time for you to show up at Jay’s door, completely unannounced, judging by the way his hair was dripping wet and the towel he was holding in one of his hands. But with Sunghoon completely ignoring you and your heart still slightly aching from your best friend being disappointed, angry - whatever it was he was with you, it was obvious to you that he wouldn’t hang out with you today.

Despite it being the one day of the week, the one day when you had promised him to hang out with him, clearing your schedule to go over to his house; sometimes even sleeping over, if he managed to convince you, that being said.

Not today, you guessed.

Jay looked at you for a moment, before a warm smile spread on his lips. ‘’You’re always welcome here, silly.’’

The warmth of Jay’s apartment welcomed you with open arms, shielding you from the cold winds raging outside; mentally scolding yourself for not wearing something warmer. A low sigh escaped your lips as you sat down at the edge of Jay’s bed, rubbing your hands together in an attempt to warm yourself up. ‘’I thought today was no study day?’’ Jay spoke as he entered the room, his eyes questioning you as he rubbed the towel against his scalp; preventing droplets of water to drop from the ends of his hair.

You looked up at him, your eyes scanning his figure. With nothing but a flimsy tank top covering his chest, the lack of sleeves leaving his biceps out for you to see - you almost felt the need to look away. Almost like you weren’t supposed to be looking at him, your breath hitched in your throat.

Quickly gazing back down at your hands, still rubbing them together to create some warmth, you shook your head in response. ‘’Change in plans,’’ You lightly chuckled, the sound of Jay draping the towel over the door leading into his room causing you to gaze back up at him, reluctant to do so. He looked over at you, his lips parting as if he was about to say something; his eyes meeting yours.

The room fell silent and you wondered if perhaps he could sense how tense you were. Perhaps he could hear your heart thumping against your chest, just from him simply looking at you, all the way across the room; or maybe it was the look in your eyes that gave it away, you weren’t sure.

But one thing was for sure, Jay most definitely noticed something - slightly tilting his head at you.

‘’How come?’’

Now it was your turn to shrug, forcing yourself to tear your eyes off of him; his eyes still burning into your skin as you looked away. ‘’Plans changed, I guess,’’ You mumbled, the room falling silent once more.

‘’Why have you been crying?’’

Jay wasn’t sure if you had actually been crying, or if it was the cold causing a red color to flush your cheeks. Trusting his gut feeling, the words softly trailed off his lips; and judging by the way you immediately looked up at him with wide eyes and your shoulders tensing up upon hearing his words - he realized he was right and that it was, in fact, the first option.

Parting your lips like you were about to say something, you felt like sinking through the ground. You had hoped that the cold would’ve helped you cover up your tearstained cheeks and puffy eyes, and maybe anyone else wouldn’t have noticed; but Jay did notice, and you wished he hadn’t - because then you wouldn’t have to awkwardly laugh it off.

You forced a chuckle to leave the back of your throat, bringing one of your hands to your face as you shook your head. ‘’Crying? It’s just cold out,’’ Pressing the back of your hand against your cheek in an attempt to show him that you were in fact just cold, even though that wasn’t the case; hoping he’d just shrug it off.

He didn’t.

No, instead he just looked at you with his head still tilted, the look on his face making it clear to you that he did not believe your little white lie; not even a little bit. The room fell silent and you wondered if it was disappointment lingering in his dark eyes, disappointment over the fact that you had lied to him.

‘’You don’t have to tell me, you know,’’ He uttered, breaking the silence. His voice was warm as he spoke, nothing like the dagger-like tone that had lingered behind Sunghoon’s words when he had spoken to you, no; Jay’s soothing and sincere voice sounded nothing like the sharp words that had trailed off your best friend's lips. ‘’I just want you to know that I’m here to listen, always.’’

You hadn’t anticipated the lump that was now beginning to form in your throat, nor had you expected Jay to comfort you. You weren’t sure if Jay actually knew how comforting his words were, or if he was even being sincere; but the look in his eyes told you he was and you wondered if he also noticed the tears that had formed in your eyes.

He must’ve, because before you could even blink, you felt him place his weight next to you on the edge of his bed. Your eyes met his once more as he placed one of his hands on top of your thigh, his sudden touch taking you by surprise; but the look in his eyes, however, made you feel even more surprised.

His normally cat-like eyes no longer looked as mysterious to you, not with concern lingering in his dark brown orbs. With his eyes filled with both concern and what almost looked like admiration, you couldn’t help but let the broken sob that had been trying to claw its way out of your throat finally escape.

‘’It’s Sunghoon.’’

Jay was quick to wrap his arm around you before the broken sob could even leave your throat, gently pressing you against his chest before letting his head rest on top of yours. You let the tears that had been threatening to leave your eyes fall, feeling slightly embarrassed for crying in his arms; Jay humming as the name ‘Sunghoon’ trailed off your lips.

Once again, his musky scent engulfed you as his fingers combed through your hair. This time, however, the musky scent you had gotten used to comforted you in a way you had never expected it to - wrapping your arms around his torso in an attempt to get even closer to the boy holding you.

Jay hadn’t heard a whole lot about your so-called best friend, Sunghoon. He knew you grew up with each other and that he had seen him a handful of times in the hallways, but other than that; Park Sunghoon was practically a mystery to him.

But the second his name trailed off your lips, accompanied by your glossy eyes - Jay realized that the name Sunghoon was going to leave a sour taste in his mouth for a very, very long time.

‘’It’s okay,’’ Jay hummed into your hair, his heart clenching as he felt you grab onto him even harder, making him wonder for a split second if you were scared he was going to leave. Maybe you were, perhaps you were afraid he’d leave you on your own; you weren’t sure either, but there was one thing Jay was sure about.

He wasn’t going to let you go.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ You mumbled into his shirt, causing a low chuckle to leave Jay’s lips. You were about to look up at him, his sudden chuckle making you frown into the fabric of his tank top; making you feel stupid. But before you even had the chance to move your head, you felt Jay’s hand slowly slip away from your waist and grab onto the side of your face - making you look up at him.

Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes met his, a small smile on his lips as he looked at you. His face was only a few inches away from yours, closer than he had ever been before - his thumb gently stroking your cheek making it even harder for you to breathe. ‘’Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,’’ He let out, ‘’Especially when you have nothing to be sorry about.’’

Maybe if Jay hadn’t planted the idea in your mind, you wouldn’t have kissed him. Maybe if he hadn’t gotten so close, maybe if his smell hadn’t invaded all your senses, and maybe if his rough fingers hadn’t dragged across your cheek; you wouldn’t have placed your hand in the nape of his neck and brought your face towards his own.

But you did, and you almost felt the need to let out a gasp as his plump lips came into contact with your own lips, the tears that had made their way down your face coating your lips.

Jay, however, also felt the need to almost gasp for air as your salty lips came into contact with his own dry ones. He almost pulled away, he almost let you slip away from his grip; and also he knows he probably should. He knows he shouldn’t let you kiss him, he knows he shouldn’t pull you closer and he knows he most definitely shouldn’t let his fingers run through your hair.

But how could he possibly not, when he had wanted nothing else but this for the past three months?

His lips moved against your own with such urgency, such desperation; his fingertips tugging at the roots of your hair as you placed your other hand on the side of his face, bringing him even closer to you. Feeling his tongue suddenly swipe across your bottom lip, you had to fight back from letting a small whine leave your throat; slightly parting your lips, letting his wet muscle come into contact with your own.

The tears that had previously left your eyes were now nowhere to be seen, Jay using his thumb to wipe them away as he helped you straddle him; his lips not leaving yours as you placed yourself on top of his lap. Feeling one of his hands leave your face and drag down your side before eventually resting at your waist, you almost shivered under his touch.

With your fingertips grazing over the water droplets that had dripped onto the skin of his neck thanks to him not properly drying his hair, Jay let out a low groan against your lips; the sudden sensation of your soft fingers tickling his skin causing his grip around your waist to tighten. The feeling of his fingernails digging into your skin caused a gasp to leave your lips, causing you to pull away from the kiss for a split second.

Jay just looked at you for a moment, admiring you; with you on his lap and your eyelashes stuck together from the tears that had spilled past the corners of your eyes, he had to bite down on his lower lip in order to somewhat ground himself - both of your chests heaving up and down from the intense kiss.

‘’Whatever he did,’’ Jay mumbled after a moment of silence, watching his fingers graze over the skin of your cheek as he spoke, ‘’It’s not worth crying over.’’

His soft words almost caused tears to form in your eyes once more, your lips meeting his before they even had a chance to form and drop onto your cheeks, again. This time, Jay was quick to slip his hand under your shirt, his warm hand gently stroking your waist as his rough lips continued to attack yours. The feeling of his hand coming into contact with your skin caused you to unconsciously move around in his lap, a hiss suddenly leaving Jay’s lips as he pulled away.

You were about to open your eyes, a pang of fear shooting through your body as he pulled away; fear that maybe he didn’t want to kiss you. Maybe he realized that letting you kiss him in the first place was a mistake, that he didn’t actually want to - until you suddenly felt his wet hair come into contact with the skin of your neck, that being said.

Followed by a water droplet dropping knot your skin, you felt him press a soft kiss right underneath your ear; causing you to tilt your head to the side, your eyes fluttering shut once more as your lips parted at the sensation. Leaving a trail of kisses down the side of your neck, his rough lips accompanied by his tongue occasionally swiping across your skin; a low whimper emerged from the back of your throat.

‘’Jay,’’ You whimpered, your head still tilted to the side, giving the man easy access to your neck. Nibbling on your skin, he hummed; the vibrations as well as his hand still gently stroking the side of your body causing another whine to spill past your lips. ‘’Can you take my mind off it, please?’’

Your soft whisper caused Jay to detach his lips from your neck, his eyes meeting yours once more. He slightly tilted his head, using his thumb to swipe across your bottom lip as you stared at him; your eyes wide and Jay could practically see the desperation inside of them. ‘’How would I do that?’’ He let out, his voice low as his gaze landed on his thumb, watching as your bottom lip followed his movements.

You stared at him for a moment, the feeling of his rough fingers pressed against your bottom lip almost making you feel dizzy. ‘’Can you make me feel good?’’

Jay’s eyes widened for a split second as the words rolled off your tongue so softly, so softly that he almost missed them and he probably would’ve, if the apartment hadn’t been so quiet. His movements stopped, the pad of his thumb remaining on your bottom lip as his eyes met yours once more.

He looked for any type of doubt, any type of sign; a sign that giving into the urges he had carried around with him for months at this point would be a bad idea, something he’d regret later on; but there was none, no matter how hard he looked.

No, instead he was met with your lustful eyes; your eyes filled with what Jay could only identify as the very same lust he himself was feeling. ‘’You want me to make you feel good?’’ He breathed, not taking his eyes off of you as he spoke, still looking for any type of warning sign telling him not to do it.

You nodded in response, ‘’Please.’’

And as soon as your soft voice filled the room and confirmed for Jay that you, in fact, wanted him, you suddenly felt yourself being thrown on the bed; with Jay suddenly towering above you - just like he had done two days prior. This time, however, he leaned down and pressed his lips against your own.

‘’I’ll make you feel good, okay?’’ He grunted, resting his forehead against your own. His words caused a whimper to leave your lips, eagerly nodding your head in response. ‘’’Just wanna have you, Jay,’’ You whimpered, wrapping your hands around his neck.

A low hiss left Jay’s lips as he dipped his head in the nape of your neck, his lips latching onto your sensitive skin once more; this time, however, his kisses were much rougher and the grip he had around your waist only hardened as he buckled his hips into your own. A whine emerged from the back of your throat as you threw your head back, a small wet patch forming in your underwear as his crotch pressed against your own; one of your hands gripping onto his wet hair.

‘’I’ll make you forget everything but my name.’’

A loud gasp left your throat as he pressed his hips against your own once more, this time even harder, his teeth sinking into your skin; not even giving you the time to process what he had just said. Letting your hands get tangled into the wet locks covering his neck, you slightly tugged at his hair - earning a low grunt from him in return as he gently rolled his hips against your crotch.

You weren’t sure if this was the best way to take your mind off what had been weighing you down, or Sunghoon, more specifically. It wasn’t like you intended to end up under Jay, with his lips attached to your neck and his crotch grinding against your own when you showed up at his house, no, you thought maybe he could distract you and your wandering thoughts by maybe catching up on your English assignment.

This, however, feeling his rough fingers roam your body and his lips decorating your skin seemed to be working much better than studying ever could.

You hadn’t even noticed the way Jay had slowly begun to kiss down your neck, now letting his teeth nibble on the skin surrounding your collarbones; his hand that had previously been stroking your side was now gently pulling the fabric of your shirt further up your stomach, the cold air coming into contact with your now very hot, exposed skin causing you to whimper.

His lips suddenly left your skin, the loss of contact causing you to open your eyes and look down at him; only to be met by him already looking at you. His eyes were low, looking up at you through hooded eyes as he slowly moved down the bed - placing feather like kisses on top of your stomach while doing so. Your lips parted as you watched him kiss down your stomach, hooking both his arms under either side of your legs as he placed himself between them.

Keeping his eyes on you, he placed a kiss on the inside of your clothed thigh. ‘’Are you sure about this?’’ He mumbled against your thigh, still pressing small pecks on the inside of your thigh as he spoke. You quickly nodded, your hands finding their way back to his hair; your fingertips running through his now slightly dry hair. ‘’Please,’’ You whispered, nibbling on your bottom lip in anticipation.

A low chuckle left his throat, pressing one last kiss onto the inside of your thigh before his hands slipped off your hips; slowly making their way toward the zipper of your pants. ‘’Since you asked so nicely,’’ He mumbled, his fingers playing with your zipper, ‘’How about we take these off?’’

His eyes met yours once again, your head bobbing up and down in a nod once more; feeling the wet patch that had formed in your underwear grow more and more with each passing second. Only smirking at you, his gaze landed on your core as he unzipped your pants before helping you pull them down your legs - leaving you with nothing but your underwear on and your shirt scrunched up by your chest.

Jay immediately spotted the wet patch that had formed on the cotton fabric covering your hole, his cock twitching in his pants at the sight; having to hold back a groan from leaving his throat as he placed one of his fingers against your clit, slowly letting it run up and down your clothed core.

The sudden sensation caused a gasp to trail off your lips. The back of your head hit the pillow placed behind you, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt the fabric of your underwear drag up and down your slit. ‘’Is this what a little bit of kissing does to you, hm?’’ Jay cooed, causing you to whimper as he applied some pressure to your clit. ‘’Jay,’’ You whined, your voice almost coming out in a broken whisper. Another chuckle left Jay’s lips as he used his other hand to gently stroke your thigh, leaning down to press a kiss on top of your clothed clit.

‘’I know, I know,’’ He mumbled, hooking one of his fingers under the fabric of your underwear, ‘’I’m not going to tease you, baby.’’

The nickname rolling off his tongue accompanied by the cold air hitting your now wet core as he pulled the fabric to the side caused a low moan to leave your lips, grabbing onto his hair even harder. Jay bit down on his bottom lip as your wet slit was fully revealed to him, once again letting his fingers run up and down your slit. This time, the moan that trailed off your lips as your arousal coated his finger caused him to slightly buck his hips into the mattress underneath him - finally letting his tongue come into contact with your core.

The feeling of his plump lips latching onto your clit with no warning whatsoever caused a gasp mixed together with a moan to rip through your chest, his tongue swiping against your clit causing your head to sink even further into the pillow. Using one hand to gently stroke your inner thigh while his tongue circled around your clit, a low grunt left his throat as he felt you tug at his hair even harder.

‘’Fuck,’’ You let out, taken aback by Jay’s eagerness - expecting him to go slow on you. Jay, however, had no plans on going slow on you; you wanted him to take your mind off things, didn’t you?

You suddenly felt him place his other hand by your entrance, his lips still wrapped around your clit; another low gasp leaving your lips as you felt one of his fingers trace the outside of your entrance. Jay let out a low hum of satisfaction upon feeling the amount of arousal spilling out of your hole, the vibrations causing you to arch your back.

Before you knew it, he was slipping one of his fingers into you with ease; your slick walls welcoming his finger, the feeling causing both you and Jay to let out a moan. Jay gave you no time to get used to his finger filling you up before suddenly curling it, and judging by the whimpers that were leaving your lips, Jay realized he must’ve found your g-spot.

Jay knew nothing about Sunghoon, your so-called best friend, but as he heard you whimper underneath him; he wondered if Sunghoon had ever had the opportunity to make you feel as good as he currently was.

The thought caused a burning feeling to spread across Jay’s chest, and he decided that if Sunghoon had ever made you whimper like you currently were; well, in that case, he was going to make you feel better than anyone else had ever made you feel before.

Feeling him slip yet another finger into you, another broken gasp left your lips as he began thrusting them out of you, before plunging them back into you. His tongue was still playing with your clit, the combination of both his tongue and his fingers caused you to squeeze your eyes shut as an overwhelming feeling of pleasure washed over you.

‘’Jay,’’ You moaned, feeling a familiar knot beginning to form in your stomach; Jay’s fingers thrusting into you while his tongue left kitten licks on your clit causing you to almost buck your hips against his face. Jay looked up at you, smirking against your cunt as he spotted your face.

With your hair spread out on the pillow and your lips slightly parted, you looked just like what Jay had fantasized about in the darkness of his room while tugging at his own cock, broken whimpers of your name spilling past his slips each and every time.

Only this time, it was broken whimpers of his name spilling past your lips, not the opposite; and Jay wondered if you had ever thought about him like this before, too.

Thrusting his fingers into you, he curled his fingers; both his fingertips grazing against your g-spot as he wiggled his fingers inside of you. Keeping his eyes on you, he watched as broken moans and whimpers left your lips as you tried your best to stay still; to no avail. How were you supposed to stay still, when Jay was currently fingering you unlike no one else had ever done before?

Jay held back a chuckle as he watched your chest heave up and down, your legs slightly shaking and threatening to lock him in place; not that he would’ve complained, if it was up to him, he’d spend all eternity between your legs - just to hear the sweet moans that left your lips as his tongue swiped against your clit and as his fingers got coated in your arousal.

‘’Fuck, wish I could take a picture of you right now,’’

Jay’s sudden muffled confession caused you to whimper, clenching around his fingers; which most definitely didn’t go unnoticed by Jay. Cocking an eyebrow in surprise, you felt him chuckle against your cunt. ‘’Yeah? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’’

‘’Fuck, Jay,’’ You whined in response, feeling your orgasm approaching; which Jay did, too. feeling your walls beginning to clench around his fingers was the first sign that you were close, plus the fact that you were unknowingly trying to get away from his grip; your hips lifting off the mattress every now and then as he hit just the right spot with his finger or as he sucked on your clit.

Detaching his lips from your clit, panting from the lack of oxygen as he pressed a sloppy kiss against your inner thigh; his fingers still thrusting in and out of you. ‘’Are you close, baby?’’ He let out, to which you only nodded in response.

You wanted to tell him how good he was, how incredibly good he was making you feel and how close you were to making a mess all over his fingers; but you simply couldn’t. Almost like you had gone mute, the words refused to leave your throat; your throat dry as you panted, trying your hardest to form a sentence.

Jay, however, noticed how you were struggling to speak as you began to move your hips in sync with his fingers in an attempt to chase your high, the sound of the base of his fingers coming into contact with your sticky entrance filling the room combined with your heavy panting and low whimpers.

Smirking against your thigh, he placed one last kiss onto the skin of your thigh. ‘’Then be a good girl and cum for me.’’

Curling his fingers one more time, harshly wiggling them around caused the knot that had formed in your stomach to finally snap. Letting your hands fall onto your sides, grabbing onto the sheets as your orgasm washed over you in an attempt to ground yourself; a high-pitched moan ripping through your chest as Jay felt you coat his fingers with your cum. Watching as your hole swallowed his fingers, Jay bit down on his bottom lip - hoping he’d one day get to experience you clenching like that around his cock.

‘’Good girl, that’s a good girl,’’ He cooed, gently stroking your thigh as your body trembled underneath him. ‘’Look so pretty cumming for me.’’

Once he felt your body beginning to relax, he slowly slipped his fingers out of your hole; placing a soft kiss against your now sensitive clit, making you whimper as you shook your head. Sitting up straight, he wiped his mouth using the back of his hand before once again climbing on top of you. A small smile formed on his lips as he came face to face with you, the fucked out state of you making him feel accomplished.

Using the hand he hadn’t used to fuck you, he gently stroked your cheek in an attempt to make you open your eyes. His smile only widened as your eyes fluttered open, you looking up at him through low eyes; his hand running through your head to help you come down from your high. ‘’You did really good,’’ He mumbled, leaning down to press a soft kiss on top of your forehead.

His words caused a small smile to form on your lips as you wrapped both arms around his neck once again. ‘’You did really good.’’ You mumbled in response, your eyes heavy and your whole body feeling slack from the overwhelming orgasm you had just experienced.

A chuckle was heard coming from the boy above you, his fingers still threading through your now messy hair. ‘’Did I manage to take your mind off it?’’ He asked, his eyes meeting yours. You only nodded in response, too tired to properly respond - which was more than enough for Jay. Leaning down once again, he pressed a soft kiss against the corner of your mouth. ‘’How about you spend the night, hm?’’

Pulling him closer to you, his musky scent engulfed you for the nth time that day; nodding your head once more, feeling Jay press a soft kiss against your shoulder as he hummed against your skin.

While Jay definitely had managed to take your mind off Sunghoon, you hadn’t left Sunghoon’s mind; not even once, no matter how hard he had tried to distract himself. And maybe, just maybe, if Sunghoon would’ve texted you five minutes earlier that day, you actually would’ve seen the message about him asking to come over.

And maybe, just maybe, if Sunghoon would’ve texted you five minutes earlier that day, you actually would’ve seen the message about him asking to come over.

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www-jungwon · 5 months

Text

winters of us. an advent calendar by elena !

an. this is for me to write drabbles lol that hee one made me feel like writing 25 ( some of them might turn into fics tho ). pls note some might have themes of christmas !

sched. a new drabble will be posted 1-25 days of december @ 5pm est !

ft. enhypen, txt, &team, riize, & svt !

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

one in which soobin says it's five am, but you say it's snowing

two in which, fine, harua will be your snow angel

three in which niki thinks you should let him choose the movie ( maybe a snowball will convince you )

four in which anton isn't allowed to drink all your hot chocolate, but does anyway

five in which niki can bake, thank you very much

six in which jake has no idea what to get his younger sister (he left it last minute), and you’re the sephora worker

seven in which jay can’t decorate the christmas tree for the life of him, and you only keep him around to hang the star

eight in which jake thinks he’s dying, and you think he just slipped on ice and it’s a bruise

nine in which roommate!heeseung insists on decorating, and you’re sure he has an ulterior motive, you just can’t figure out what (hint: it involves mistletoe)

ten in which you’ve never seen joshua this angry, and it’s at a gingerbread house

eleven in which jay thinks slow dancing in your house is cringe, but he’ll do anything for you

twelve in which niki isn’t sick, it’s just the cold

thirteen in which heeseung is freezing, but you look cute in his jacket

fourteen in which visiting your best friend’s for the holidays is a bad idea when her brother (heeseung) looks like that

fifteen in which getting rival!niki for your secret santa is the last thing you wanted

sixteen in which jungwon’s snowman-building skills are way better than yours, and he’ll prove it

seventeen in which fake dating wonwoo might have been a bad idea when he’s such a good fake boyfriend

eighteen in which you don’t want to go to the holiday party, but sunghoon will be there

nineteen in which jungwon wants you to make your own blanket fort

twenty in which jay always gets you the best presents

twenty-one in which you slip on ice, but stranger!joshua catches you

twenty-two in which you’ve been forced to go ice skating by your friends, and you fall into stranger!sunghoon

twenty-three in which it’s too cold to go anywhere this morning, so you and yujin stay inside

twenty-four in which niki isn’t cute, he hates you

twenty-five in which jungwon thinks he might as well confess this christmas

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

tl. comment or send an ask to be added to the general ( all fics ) tl !

you can also be asked to be tagged in certain member(s) ( ex.jungwon ) or group ( ex.enhypen ) fics. please specify !

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xxsabitoxx · 1 year

Text

Twenty One.

Kyojuro x gn reader

A/N: Today is my 21st birthday, since Kyojuro’s is only three days after mine, I figured I’d write this </3

Word count: 1.2k

You’re humming softly, hanging the laundry on the line so it will dry as the sun rises. It’s peaceful, dew covering the grass as a symphony of frogs can be heard through the trees by the pond. Birds chirp softly as they wake, accompanying you in your solitude. Today is a special one, Kyojuro is turning twenty. You smile at the thought, you had some activities planned for the day to celebrate his completed teenage years and welcome him into early adulthood. You’d make breakfast together, spend the morning quietly just as he liked.

Then, in the afternoon you’d go on a walk to the pond less than a mile from your estate and have a small picnic. Finally, in the evening, you’d be meeting up with your fellow Hashira to really celebrate him. Kyojuro wasn’t aware of any of this, which made it even more special to you. It was hard to get anything by him, never mind surprise him. You clipped the last piece of laundry, yelping as warm arms wrapped around your midsection. “Kyojuro! You scared me!” You’re laughing now, feet leaving the ground as he twirls you. “Sorry, my love.” He’s laughing too.

“It’s alright, it doesn’t even matter.” He’s setting you down, allowing you to turn and face him. “What matters is this…” you're pushing upwards, kissing his lips tenderly before pulling away. “Happy birthday, my shining star.” You smile harder as his face blooms red, eyes diverting from yours with a wobbly smile. “What’s that look for?” You teased softly, hands cupping his warm cheeks. “I didn’t think anyone would remember.” He confesses softly, a look of hurt dawning on your face. “Didn’t think anyone would remember? It’s May 10th, the most important day.”

He’s turning redder, eyes shutting as he presses his forehead to yours. “I’m sorry.” It’s soft and meek, you have to wonder how many birthdays passed him by where nobody remembered. “Nothing to be sorry for, it’s your birthday so stop apologizing.” A real smile creeps up his face, eyes opening slowly to look down at you. “Thank you.” You kiss him again, hoping it gets your feelings across better than any words you could utter. “I have a whole day planned for you, Kyo. So why don’t we start with breakfast?” His smile was blinding . “We’ll make it together?” He was letting you go, taking your hand in his to pull you back towards the house.

“Of course! We’ll make whatever you want.”

The kitchen was a mess by the time you were done, flour covering your cheeks while strawberry jam covered his. You were laughing, sitting on the porch because the sun had yet to dry the dew off the grass, eating the breakfast you had made together. “This is why we don’t make breakfast together.” He’s laughing as he eats, watching you carefully as you try the food. “No, this is why you don’t make breakfast.” It’s lighthearted, funny even, and it means the world to him for some reason. He loves how unserious you can be, a beautiful change of pace from the life he knew after his mother passed. He could laugh with you, speak his mind and not worry.

“Touché.” His face was beginning to hurt from the smile that wouldn’t leave. You made his heart feel so impossibly full, as if it would burst at any moment. “So, I was thinking we could clean up, us and the kitchen I mean. And then we can pack a basket and head down to the pond. Maybe go see Senjuro too, or even invite him on the picnic?” You loved the way his eyes seemed to sparkle. “That sounds wonderful, I’ll send a crow to him in a little bit. I’m sure he’s still sleeping.” If Kyojuro could, he’d have already moved Senjuro in with the two of you by now. The boy didn’t want to leave their father alone, even if he deserved it. Kyojuro respected the decision of course. Despite everything, he still loved his father.

“You know, I was thinking of ways to make this day special for you. Especially since you’ve been granted some time off by Master. I’ve been struggling, but I hope the things I have planned for you are worthwhile.” You were pretty sure he’d love it, though you still harboured doubt. “You could never disappoint me. This is already more than enough.” Which was the honest truth. A simple happy birthday from you would have been enough to make his heart full. The fact that you were going the extra mile was enough to solidify his decision… he’d ask you to marry him. Perhaps even at the picnic today, with his little brother present.

He’d been holding on to the ring for a while now anyways.

The ring on your finger sparkles in the early morning sun. A whole year has passed, once again May 10th has arrived. Kyojuro turns twenty one today. Similarly, it marks one year since he asked you to marry him. You began clipping the fresh laundry, humming softly as you worked. Unlike last year, Kyojuro wasn’t home. He’d been sent on a mission, apparently many people had gone missing while riding a particular train. Knowing Kyojuro, if all went well, he’d be home by this afternoon to celebrate this special day.

“I wonder if he’ll want to go on a picnic again…” you hadn’t planned this day out like you did last year. The surprise party with the other pillars had turned into an engagement party as well. You smiled thinking back on that night, you wanted to go back so bad. You’d never seen Kyojuro smile that much, eyes sparkling in wonder like a small child trying candy for the first time. But, since he was on a mission, you figured taking the day to relax and spend time with one another was for the best. You could always go out with friends some time later in the week.

You’re soaking in the quiet morning, surprised you don’t hear birds chirping or the frogs croaking down by the pond. Rather, it seems everything has gone still, only a slight breeze rustling the leaves of the trees around you. The morning dew wasn’t as prominent as it had been last year, though you didn’t mind your feet being dry. Humming still, you picked up your half empty basket and made your way around to the other side of the drying line. The gentle flapping of a crow had you stopping in your tracks. “Oh, he must be on his way back…” you smiled at the thought.

You watched the crow land on top of the drying line’s pole, waiting for Kyojuro’s message. But, the words the crow uttered had your laundry basket slipping from your grasp. The basket tipped as it hit the ground, damp laundry spilling into the grass as you fell to your knees. Violent sobs shook you to your very core, lungs threatening to collapse as all oxygen was pulled from you. The morning that had been so unusually silent was now filled with your blood curdling screams, tears spilling down your cheeks in rivets. Kyojuro had left the world the same day he had entered it.

Never quite making it to twenty one.

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writeforfandoms · 1 year

Text

The Hanging Tree

Find my CoD masterlist

You've known Johnny for years, and for a long time you thought all the codes and prep you two went through was just to assuage his paranoia. Until he sends you a code and you have to get out fast.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x f!reader

Warnings: Graphic violence, mild panic attack, minor character death, blood, gunshots, threats of violence, threats of death, spy shit, angst, whump, feral Soap.

Word count: 5.1k

In all the years you'd known Johnny, you had gotten to know how he worked quite well. He was occasionally prone to over exaggerating, and sometimes was dramatic. But he had never been flippant about your safety. Never.

Which was why, when you got a text from him that said simply "hanging tree", you stopped breathing.

And then you bolted for your room.

For all his planning and paranoia, Johnny had never actually used any of your safety codes until now.

You stuffed some clothes and necessities in a bag, grabbing the bundle of cash you kept hidden. For Johnny to have used this sign was… bad. Bad enough that you knew you couldn't use any of your credit cards or anything.

Briefly, you cursed yourself for not taking him up on his offer of packing you a bug-out bag.

But you were still out the door in under twenty minutes, locking up behind you and starting to walk.

You and Johnny had gone over the route before, multiple times. A few times on foot, more often only verbally, until you could recite the way unaided.

You treated your memory now, reciting the directions to keep yourself calm as you left your home behind. For all you knew, you would never see it again.

A deep breath helped to calm you, a bit, and you took the first turn.

It wasn't late, fortunately, so you passed people as you walked. You smiled and nodded to those you knew, but didn't linger. It was best to move quick, but not so fast as to attract attention. You could practically hear Johnny reminding you of that.

You paid for a ticket in cash to your first stop, three towns over. From there, you'd go west a ways, then back north a bit. It was a roundabout route, but necessary.

Just in case anyone was trying to follow you.

The sun had set by the time you got onto the second bus, your breath fogging up the window ever so slightly as you leaned your temple against the cool glass. You almost felt like crying, or asking him if he was sure, or anything.

But his instructions had been very clear.

"If you ever get this signal from me, you leave. Immediately. Don't linger. You remember the route?"

You had rolled your eyes. "Of course I remember, Johnny. Do we need to go over it again?"

He'd laughed quietly, pressing an almost apologetic kiss to your forehead. "Nah, sorry, hen. I know you know. I just–"

"Fuss. You just fuss." But your smile was unmistakably fond as you gazed at him.

"Dinnae fuss," he grumbled. "Anyway. You get that signal, don't contact me. Right? This is important."

"Get out as fast as possible, follow the route, watch my six, don't contact you," you reiterated, almost flippant. Almost. "I know, Johnny. Is there… is there a reason you're doing this now?"

"No," he assured you. "No, just makin' sure, I promise you."

You had smiled then and let him distract you with kisses.

You breathed out hard, blinking back tears. No. You didn't have time for that. Safety first, then crying. Maybe.

The transition to the third bus was a long one - the busses didn't run as frequently this late. So you got to sit in the terminal and wait, backpack on your lap, playing on your phone (on airplane mode) to keep yourself busy.

Fortunately, from the looks you chanced around, you didn't recognize anyone. It didn't look like you'd been followed. That was something of a relief.

Finally, you boarded the last bus. Setting your backpack down on the floor in front of you, you stared down at your phone. The urge to text Johnny, to call him, to ask if he was alright and demand to know what was going on, was… it was hard. Your next inhale was a little shaky and you swallowed hard.

And stuffed your phone back in your pocket.

Johnny had been very clear, and the instructions were for your safety as well as his.

You couldn't contact him. You just had to get to safety and wait.

The last bus stopped, and you got off. It was the middle of the night now. The sky was clear and cold, stars twinkling down at you, the moon bright. You started walking, shivering a little, keeping a close eye on everything around you.

But nobody else got off the bus, and nobody followed you.

From here, it was a long walk to the cabin. Johnny insisted on that, said that a secluded place would be safer. In case he needed to patch himself up without nosey neighbors calling him in, or he needed to lay low.

The end result was that you were walking for a lot longer than you really wanted to. The chill wore off after a while, at least.

Nearly-numb fingers fumbled the cabin key out of your backpack, and you unlocked the door, flipping the lights on. The cabin was cozy, not large but well furnished, and always stocked with non-perishables. The door shut behind you with a soft click, and you locked it.

There was only one bedroom, and you claimed it as yours. Since Johnny had sent you all the way out here, he could take the couch if he got in while you were sleeping. You left your backpack next to the bed, stripped down enough to be comfortable, and collapsed.

The room was bright when you woke, and you groaned. For a moment you thought about pulling the pillow over your head and going back to sleep, but no. You needed to get up.

Groaning again, you dressed in clean clothes from your backpack and padded into the kitchen on bare feet. No sign of Johnny yet. No anybody at all, actually.

Sighing, you went through your options for breakfast, and settled on a protein bar. Not exciting, but it would do. At least he had tea here.

The day passed achingly slowly. Johnny had left plenty of books and board games in the cabin, even a TV and DVD player. But nothing held your attention for long, not with the low-level anxiety as your constant companion. You barely even felt hungry, picking through the available food with a choosiness entirely unlike you.

Not even a hot shower helped to quell the anxiety. Every minute without an update felt like an eternity stuck in purgatory.

The second day dragged just as slowly as the first. You left the TV on all day, playing movies without paying attention to them, just for the background noise. Just to have something outside your own head.

Because the possibilities running non-stop through your mind were terrifying, now.

You forced yourself to eat and keep hydrated. You cleaned. (You'd helped choose the cleaning products, you remembered a playful argument with Johnny over rags of all things, remembered whapping him in the chest with your chosen towel, remembered shrieking laughter as he chased you outside and tackled you down into the grass–)

One book caught your eye. One you'd thought you had lost years ago. Johnny had sworn up and down that he had no idea where it was.

Fucking liar. Your laugh cracked into a sob, and you pressed a hand to your mouth, suddenly terrified of making too much noise. But the tears didn't stop for a long time.

The third day felt a little… listless. Surely Johnny should have come by now, or sent one of his friends? Surely it wouldn't be so bad to turn your phone back on and check for any messages?

A knock on the door a couple hours before sunset startled you so badly you knocked over your water. You swore softly, gaze darting to the door.

Someone called your name from the other side of the door. Not Johnny. Someone with an English accent, smoother than you would have guessed of one of his teammates.

"Soap sent me," he called through the door. "I'm going to take you to him."

You dropped a towel silently on the spilled water, aching to open the door. But you didn't know any of his teammates, not really, and you couldn't confirm one way or the other. You needed something more.

"Ah, he said he'd get you ice cream?" The man sounded confused now, but still pleasant.

And you relaxed. That was the all clear. You practically bounded to the front door, yanking it open.

"Finally," you breathed, looking him over. Dark, nondescript clothes, dark hair, dark eyes. "Is he here?"

"Close," he answered, a little evasively. "I'm taking you to him."

"Let me just grab my–"

"Leave it."

You jerked a little, startled at his tone. He smiled apologetically.

"You'll be back here soon. Might as well leave it. We need to go now."

You hesitated. Something didn't feel right. But you'd been anxious for days - maybe that was still throwing you off? Or the lack of good sleep? He'd given you the all clear, it should be fine…

"Okay," you agreed softly, grabbing your shoes and shoving them on. The cabin door closed behind you and you started towards the car parked in front. Black sedan, tinted windows. "How far are we going?"

"Oh, not far at all." Something jabbed into your neck and you shrieked, trying to tear away. But he anticipated that, one arm winding tight around you as the needle left your skin. "You'll sleep right through it."

The world started to tip under you, at once too bright and blurring together. Your limbs felt thick and clumsy, uncoordinated.

The last thing you felt was leather under your cheek.

Throbbing in your temples woke you, insistent and annoying. You groaned softly, squeezing your eyes shut before opening them carefully. The sudden flood of light made you close them tight again with a whimper, pain radiating all the way to the base of your skull.

Trying to lift your arm to block the glare didn't work, and you panicked then, a little. You couldn't move either hand, or your legs. When you tried, something rough rubbed against your skin, quickly rubbing you raw. Your breathing sped up in your panic and you carefully opened your eyes, head tilted down to try to minimize the light.

You didn't recognize anything. You were tied to a chair, the rope tight enough to prevent you from moving much, but you could at least still feel all your fingers and toes. Quick looks around showed nothing but a bare wooden room with a spotlight set up directly across from you. The light was so bright it hurt your eyes, and you gave up trying to see anything directly around it.

You had no idea where you were. You were tied up snugly enough that you couldn't escape. And you were alone.

This time, there was nothing you could do to stop the panicked tears. Despite knowing it wouldn't help, you couldn't stop yourself from jerking at the ropes, trying desperately to find some weakness.

The click of a door opening may as well have been as loud as a gunshot. You stopped breathing, stopped moving, stopped everything. Footsteps approached you, smooth and even.

"Ah, you're finally awake. Just in time."

It was the man from the cabin, the one who'd given you the all clear. You sucked in a gasping breath, trying to form words.

"Best not. You're only here as incentive. I only need you alive, not unharmed."

You swallowed hard at that, at how casually he threatened you. Your mouth closed without a word.

"Good. Now, you just sit there and look alive." He chuckled a little at his own joke, stepping past you to fiddle with something just underneath the light. You couldn't see what it was - between the headache still incapacitating you and the man's bulk, you were useless.

You nearly started crying again but swallowed it back with enormous effort. You needed to be quiet. You needed to not give this man a reason to hurt you further. Johnny would figure this out, you had no doubt that he'd find you.

You needed to be alive for him to find.

The man moved behind the light again, and you winced at the brightness.

"Mr. MacTavish." His voice was lower now, drawling, insulting. "You have been making yourself quite a pest these last weeks, haven't you? You know more than you should. But you're not the only one."

Your eyes had finally adjusted enough to the light to see the little red light underneath. He was recording this. He was making a video to send to Johnny. You swallowed again, gripping the chair tight to hide your trembling.

"By now I'm sure you've noticed something is missing. Well, here she is. Still alive, as you can see. At least for now."

The click of the revolver was loud in the otherwise-silent room, and you squeezed your eyes shut. He was going to kill you. He was going to kill you and send the video to Johnny. Johnny would never survive that, he'd never get over it, this would destroy him–

"She is still alive by my grace, Mr. MacTavish." Something cool brushed the skin of your temple, making you flinch hard. But the gun didn't retreat, just shifted down to just under your ear at the hinge of your jaw. "Now, I propose a trade. If you cease your actions immediately, I will let her live. If, however, you continue on your current course…" The gun left your skin but a moment later there was a loud bang. You screamed, ducking your head down, unable to help yourself. Your ears rang with the shot, unbelievably loud in the enclosed space.

"Well, I think you get the picture. Decide quickly, Mr. MacTavish."

The man took a step away from you and you looked straight at the camera, eyes wide, heedless of the tears streaking down your cheeks.

"Johnny, don't–"

The pistol whipped across your temple. For a moment, you didn't feel anything. Then pain blindsided you, warm wetness flowing from your temple freely to mix with your tears. You choked on a gasp.

"Tick tock." The man sounded completely unbothered, steps just as smooth as ever. He must have turned off the video, because you heard rustling sounds, and a moment later he spoke again. "That was quite foolish of you. Let's hope, for your sake, that you remain quiet now. Or my patience may wear out." He walked across the room without turning off the light or unbinding you.

The click-shink of the door closing and locking sounded terribly final to you.

–

Soap felt like he was losing his mind. He'd sent the code to you three and a half days ago. It had taken a while for him to get to his selected agent to exfil you, making sure he knew the protocols you two had in place.

But the soldier had reported back that you were gone. The cabin had clearly been inhabited, your backpack was still in the bedroom.

But you were gone.

Soap knew you, knew you wouldn't take off without your things and without reason. Especially not since he'd been drilling the importance of your safety into you for years.

Something had happened. Someone had gotten to you first. Based on the lack of blood or visible signs of struggle, someone had gotten to you and given you the code.

This had been an inside job. Someone had known all of his contingencies and gotten to you. That narrowed the pool considerably.

But still not enough.

"Soap."

There had to be more he could do. He needed to be searching for you, he needed to make sure you were safe, he needed to–

"Johnny!"

He blinked when Ghost grabbed his shoulders, physically forcing him to stop. Soap took a deep breath, feeling like it was the first he'd taken in hours.

"Calm down. You're no good if you're panicking."

Soap snarled, pulling away from Ghost. "I need ta get ta her! She cannae get hurt, no' fer me."

"We will find her," Ghost said, crossing his arms over his chest, immovable. "And when we do, you need to be sharp."

"Ah am!"

"You've gone full Scot."

Soap swore, and then swore again because Ghost was right. Not that he had a chance to admit it.

His phone pinged. For a moment, neither man moved. Then Soap pulled it out, eyes going wide.

There was a video message from you.

He hit play immediately, going cold as he watched. Your scream sent his heart all the way down to his feet. His hands were shaking.

He knew exactly who had you. Who, but not how or where.

His phone was plucked out of his unresisting hands and Ghost was saying… something. Soap couldn't hear past the roaring in his ears.

You were supposed to be safe. You were supposed to be away from all the shit in his life, safe from the darkness and the filth.

And now this one man held your life in his hands.

"--p. Soap. C'mon." Ghost pushed him a little, and as the rage and panic receded enough for him to feel more or less cognizant, Soap realized he was being herded to Price's office.

"Soap, Ghost." Price looked between the two, eyes narrowed.

"Captain." Ghost held out the phone without another word. Soap didn't watch, couldn't watch from where he stood, feet too heavy to move on his own.

But the sound of your scream… that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"Fuckin' hell." Price leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his mouth. "When was this sent?"

"Just a few minutes ago."

Price nodded, setting the phone down very gently. "I'll see if we can get any location data from the message."

"And the rest of it, sir?" Ghost didn't move, didn't even shift his weight. But the tension in the room was undeniable.

Price breathed out slowly. "He's targeting Soap," he murmured with an apologetic glance at the Scot. "Means he doesn't know the rest of the 141. Everything was addressed just to Soap. For now, we'll back off to recon only."

"Copy that." Ghost did finally glance at Soap. "And her?"

Price was silent for several moments. "We have to assume she's alive."

Something in his chest loosened with his captain's confidence. Price assumed she was alive, so Soap would too. Just because she'd been bloodied didn't mean she was dead.

But it did mean that the arsewipe who thought he could hurt you would pay dearly for every drop of blood he spilled.

It took far longer than Soap was comfortable with for Intel to find you. (Any time was too long, any time spent with that rat bastard was unacceptable, the sound of your scream echoing in his head on repeat, your blood-stained skin etched behind his eyes.)

But they did find you. Price organized the raid. The best and worst thing? He hadn't taken you far. A couple hours from the cabin. Not far at all, in the grand scheme of things.

Price led, with Ghost finding a good sniper spot around the back. Gaz and Soap followed Price in. The goal was to do this as quick and quiet as possible.

The building had once been a home, but had been renovated and added on to before being abandoned. There had been no up to date plans of the interior that Intel could get their hands on.

All they had to go off of was the video. That damned video.

Two sentries outside. Price dispatched one, Gaz the other. Soap hung back, watching through the one uncovered window.

No movement inside that he could see.

The snake cam showed one more guard inside, back to the front door, focus on something further in.

"Gaz." Price kept his voice low, almost too low to hear, but Gaz knew. He nodded, testing the door. It swung open slowly with the faintest of creaks.

"Don't even with me, George," the guard started without turning. "Your break–"

Price slit his throat, silencing him. The body slumped to the ground.

Gaz went first, creeping slowly further into the house. A woman sat in a room further in, typing away on a laptop and speaking quietly into a phone.

"...the Cayman account. Yes I'm sure. I don't pay you for your opinion, just get the money moved. Now." She hung up with a short sigh and then stood. "Ray? I need the car, Mr. Hammond will be late to his next appointment."

Gaz moved silently behind the woman, clamping one hand over her mouth and his other arm firm around her middle. Soap pounced after her, quickly restraining her arms. Gaz dragged her outside at Price's nod.

Price and Soap continued on, moving silently through the building. The rest of the building was clear.

Except for one last door, in the middle of the house. Soap pressed himself to the wall on one side, Price on the other, both listening hard.

"You see, I'll be leaving momentarily." Hammond spoke calmly, as if this was nothing more than a meeting. "I can leave you here to the tender mercy of two of my men, or I can shoot you now."

Your muffled whimper sent Soap's blood boiling, rage tightening his muscles.

"Don't look at me like that, it won't help you." Hammond was quiet for a few moments longer. "Well. I suppose I'll let you live for now." Footsteps approached the door, and it pulled open into the room.

Soap lunged, tackling Hammond around the middle into the room. The first punch hit Hammond right in the eye. Soap didn’t even feel the impact against his knuckles. He didn't realize he was cursing, either. He just punched Hammond, again and again.

Until a hand caught his, hauling him back. Soap turned, lips curled back in a snarl.

"Easy, Soap," Price barked. "That's an order." He shoved the sergeant more or less gently in your direction.

Price must have cut you loose, because your hands were over your mouth, wrists rubbed raw and oozing. Blood still stained your skin from the injury Hammond had given you.

You were also the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Darlin'." Soap lurched forward, dropping to his knees in front of you, hands hovering an inch away from your face. Shame washed through him, hot and bitter. You were here because of him, you'd been hurt because of him. How could you ever forgive him, ever want to see him again?

Except you hiccuped a tiny sob and your hands covered his, pressing them to your cheeks. You leaned into his touch, heavy and desperate as you started crying again. "Johnny," you whimpered, hands convulsing around his.

That was all the convincing he needed. Soap pulled you in slow and careful until you could hide against his shoulder, one hand carefully shielding your wounded temple, the other rubbing across your back.

"Yer alrigh', darlin'," he crooned. "I got ye. My sweet bonnie, my darlin' lass, I got ye."

–

You had no idea how long you sat and cried against Johnny's shoulder. Long enough that you ran out of tears. Long enough that your breathing evened out.

But you still flinched when someone else cleared their throat nearby.

"Jus' my Captain," Johnny murmured to you, his hand never ceasing its soothing rubbing along your back.

"We need to go." The Captain's voice was low and rough. You risked a careful peek over Johnny's shoulder and the Captain gave you a tiny smile, standing guard at the door.

"Can ye walk?"

You blinked a few times and then nodded carefully. "Slowly," you agreed.

"Alrigh'." Johnny stood and helped you to your feet, holding you steady. Hammond was gone, something that you noted absently and were eternally grateful for.

"Gaz and Ghost are in one car," the Captain told you both (mostly Johnny). "We'll take the other."

"Rog." Johnny kept one arm around you, helping to support you out. You tried not to look at the blood splatters on the floor and ground.

Rather to your surprise, the Captain opened the door to the backseat for you, and Johnny helped you in before quickly scooting in next to you.

"We'll head back to base," the Captain said as he started the car. Ahead of you, you could see the other car leading the way. "We'll need to take your statement." It wasn't until his eyes met yours in the rear view mirror that you realized he was speaking to you.

"Okay," you agreed quietly, though the thought of having to relive the last few days sent your pulse racing.

The drive was silent. Johnny refused to let go of you entirely, holding your hand and rubbing your knee, both relatively uninjured areas.

You shuddered to think how you'd feel tomorrow.

You had no idea how long the ride was. Long enough that you were nodding off against Johnny's shoulder, only to wake going over a bump.

"Easy," Johnny murmured in your ear. "We're almost there. Then we'll get you patched up."

You nodded, squeezing his hand. You just wanted to go home and sleep for a week and forget any of this had ever happened.

The transition from the car to medical was… a lot. There were a lot of people and a lot of talking over your head. But Johnny refused to let go of you the entire time, staying glued to your side.

But you still could never remember how exactly you got to medical, sitting on a cot while someone cleaned blood off your face, Johnny sitting pressed up against your side.

"We should do this now, before you forget anything." Price lowered himself into a chair in front of you, out of the way of the nurse cleaning you up. You realized with a little start that your wrists had already been bandaged, and when you tried to lift a hand to check your forehead Johnny caught you.

"Best not, darlin'," he murmured, low and concerned. "It's taken care of."

You pulled in a deep breath, holding it for a moment before you nodded. Your hand fell limp unto your lap. "Okay."

Price nodded, setting down something on his knee and motioning for you to proceed.

You started slowly, stumbling a little. How you got the text and packed up a backpack. How you followed protocol, doing everything exactly as Johnny had planned.

How you got to the cabin and waited. And waited some more.

"He knew my name." You felt a little bit floaty by now. The nurse had gone, too, leaving you with the two men. "He called my name through the door."

Johnny looked worried, squeezing your hand gently. "Did he know the all clear?"

"He did. Not at first, he said… said you'd sent him to pick me up. But when I refused to open the door, he gave the all clear." You blinked slowly and licked your lips.

The men exchanged another significant look. You just reached trembling fingers for the cup of water.

Price rescued you, handing it over and holding it until you had a firm grip. "Then what?"

You sipped the water and shrugged. "Well, I opened the door. He knew the all clear. He told me to leave my things, because we needed to go." You paused, tipping your head a little. "I think he drugged me. It gets fuzzy, but I think I remember something hurting my neck, and maybe being set down in the car?"

"Okay," Price murmured. "We're almost done. When did you wake up?"

Your hands started shaking. "A few minutes before that video."

"You don't need to tell us about that," Johnny was quick to assure you, shooting Price a look as if to keep him from objecting. "What happened in between waking up and the video?"

"Not a lot. He didn't say much, just said…" You swallowed hard, hand clutching tight to Johnny's. "Said he needed me alive, but not necessarily unharmed, so I should behave."

Johnny rubbed your knee soothingly. "That should be enough, aye, Captain?"

"Just one more question." Price leaned forward a little. "After the video ended… what did he say?"

You looked away, swallowing roughly. You didn't think you could physically cry anymore, but you wanted to. "That what I did was foolish, and I should remain quiet or he'd kill me." Your next inhale was shaky. "He wasn't planning to let me leave alive no matter what Johnny did, was he?"

"No. He wasn't." Price turned off the recorder and patted your knee. "Get some rest. You too, Soap." And then he was gone, striding away.

You leaned more heavily into Johnny, exhaustion pulling at your eyelids. "Are we done?" You couldn't raise your voice above a murmur.

"Yeah, we're done. You did so well, darlin'. So well." Johnny pressed feather-light kisses to your temple and cheek. "Drink the rest of that water, aye? You're dehydrated."

You drank, and then laid back in the cot when Johnny helped. His hand leaving yours caused you to struggle into sitting again, a pained noise leaving you.

"Easy, darlin', easy," Johnny assured you. "Just moving this cot so I can get some sleep too." He dragged the cot right next to yours and then laid down, once again holding your hand. There was open pain in his gaze as he looked you over again. "I am so sorry."

"Don't. Don't apologize for him. It's not your fault." You held tight to his hand, frowning and ignoring the pull of the butterfly bandages at your temple.

"But–"

"No. They chose to do awful things, not you. Don't take the blame for them." You dared to scoot a little closer to him. "Please, Johnny. Don't let this destroy either of us."

His eyes widened and a moment later he was curled around you, trembling minutely. His breathing was fast and shaky, unsteady. But you held firm through it all, lifting one hand to rub at the soft, prickly short hairs on the side of his head until he calmed.

"You're a bloody marvel," he finally whispered, breath warm against your collarbone. "And you need to sleep."

"Stay?" You pressed your hand to the back of his head, gently holding him.

"As long as you'll have me," he vowed, quiet and sincere. "Maybe even a bit after that."

"You'll be waiting a long time," you murmured. Your eyes were closed and you couldn't pry them back open. Thoughts were hard to keep track of.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, darlin'."

You meant to reply, you really did. But between thinking of a response and trying to actually say it… you fell asleep.

But you wouldn't have it any other way.

#john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #soap x you #mind the warnings

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secretlovezz · 6 months

Note

You know how you've written for Simon's S/O with a cat right. Well what if the cat one day dies, how would he comfort the reader?

As someone who has a cat I cry when I think about him leaving me behind (he's three lol but still) I love my baby and I can't imagine losing him.

Thank you for the request btw and i hope i did your ask justice 🫶❤️

Simon knows that "Your baby" is a little on the older side but because of the animal's usual rambunctious behavior, he had always figured he'd be around for some years longer. The "little devil" as Simon liked to call him was always on the move never too tired like some older animals might get, he never stopped eating -Simon had told you on multiple occasions that he felt your cat was getting fatter every time he looked at him- and with the number of times your boyfriend had lost something only to find your cat took it out of pure spit -and love- he definitely thought he'd be around longer.

So when he's leaving a meeting with the rest of the one-four-one and sees he's missed about fifteen calls from you and twenty-three panicked messages about your pet it's safe to say he's worried.

He's calling you back almost immediately his feet tapping on the ground harshly and when you pick up the phone his heart drops. You're sobbing in a way he's never heard before hyperventilating while trying to speak to him but the lack of air you're taking in is prohibiting you from being coherent. He could tell that the hand you were holding your phone in was shaking from the way your voice wavered with the movement. He's telling you to breathe, to take a deep breath in and out with him but his voice is going in one ear, and out the other, and you struggle to take in what he's saying from being too distraught.

For a moment Simon is lost, not with what happened he knows how to use context clues but he's lost on how to comfort you and he hates himself for it. The love of his life needs him and he's failing.

"-need you."

Simon blinks out of his little trance quickly entangling himself back into what you're saying, "What," he asks, he feels horrible for asking you to repeat yourself.

"I really need you here Simon," you hiccup through your sentence sniffling through more salty tears.

"Okay," He replies and though the both of you stop speaking after his brief response he never hangs up the phone he knows you don't want him to. Moving quickly now trying to catch up with Price before he locks himself in his office for the night Simon tries not to seem as panicked as he is but his eyes must give off the energy or maybe it was the phone still pressed up to his masked ear but Price wordlessly tells him to go before walking into his office and closing the door.

Now he's speed walking on the brink of jogging to get to his truck so he could see you. He makes sure to ignore any distractions including Johnny who tries to ask the lieutenant what his problem is.

When he is finally in his truck he breaks at least three laws to get to your apartment quicker, to get to you quicker and even as he drives he keeps you on the phone listening and trying to calm your cries but nothing he says seems to work and once again he feels like he's failing you. You'd hate to say it out loud but you barely listen to your boyfriend's attempts to comfort you out of pure shock and heartache.

Before long he's swinging his car into park, turning off his vehicle, and running up the stairs of your apartment building skipping steps and loudly stomping his way to his distressed lover.

Simon just about breaks the key hole shoving his key into it and grips the handle so tight he thinks it might snap off as he swings the door open, he finds you hunched over on the floor in front of the cat tree tower looking into the cubby. You're staring into it, eyes widened seemingly absentminded but Simon knows better he knows your mind is currently running a mile a minute he knows that whatever you see in that cubby you blaming yourself for whatever reason.

As he starts moving toward you his steps are dead silent in comparison to the way he had barged in not even minutes ago. He's moving as carefully as possible and then crouching down beside you, once again silently. Fat salty tears appear there and then in your eyes and drip down your face when Simon moves an arm around your shoulder pulling your shaking body into him. His hand rubs up and down your arm and he moves his still-masked face -he realizes- into your hair.

He peeks at what you are staring at and when he sees a still ball of fur curled up with one of your favorite scarves propping the little animal's head up he quickly hides his face back into your hair and you turn your face into his shoulder in response letting out a muffled and broken sob.

He's not sure what to say so he says what anyone would, "I'm Sorry, 'm so sorry, love."

The sound of his voice in person, here with you, makes you cry even harder. You don't know what to do with yourself You grab and pull at Simon's clothes and makeup and tears smear across his sweater.

Your lover is moving to pick you up before you can even realize he is moving. Your legs and arms wrap around him instantly and your face shoves itself further against his neck your nose rubbing back and forth to move his balaclava up so you could feel his skin against yours. He slowly brings you to your bedroom your gentle giant of a boyfriend holding you like the softest most delicate flower worried if he wasn't careful your petals would fall and wither.

Simon maneuvers one of his hands from under you and sets your duvet back, he lays you down on your sheets, puts your head against a pillow, and watches you curl in on yourself with a sigh. He presses a lingering kiss on your forehead while his hands push your hair from your eyes to reveal your heart-achingly sad face before covering your body with your duvet.

He stares at you for a moment opening and closing his mouth trying to figure out what to say before he finally asks, "Need to move him... that okay?"

You don't answer, it's like your staring through him.

Simon sighs again but this time it's unexpectedly shaky, leaving the room he closes the door behind him and rubs a hand down his face.

Simon leaves the apartment with a box that has him feeling particularly empty but when he returns he's empty-handed and even emptier than before.

He feels heavy when he takes off his boots and locks the door. His steps are also heavier than he would normally let them be as he walks back to your bedroom. You're in the same position he had left you in before he moved your cat still staring at nothing.

Your boyfriend walks to the bed and hesitates on whether or not he should climb into bed with you despite desperately wanting to hold you.

"Si...?"

You swear your lover's head has never popped up quicker to the sound of your voice. The two of you make eye contact with each other and his eyes only leave yours when your arms reach out from the blanket towards him. He lets himself slip under the duvet wraps one of his arms around you and cradles your head to his chest. Your legs tangle themselves with his and your arms twist around his torso. You squeeze him tight like you're scared he'll disappear if you let go and he squeezes back holding you even tighter in his strong arms.

Simon pats the back of your head lovingly and it helps your shoulder sag and makes your hold on him loosen.

"I love you, dove," once again his words make your eyes water and your bottom lip quiver. He trips over his words a little when he speaks next a little worried they'll sound insincere, "It- you'll be okay, it'll be alright."

He's rocking you back and forth a little now and soon enough your breathing is evening out your lips parted from your cheek being squished against his firm chest. Your hushed cries and whimpering have stopped and the room is now silent but this silence leaves him feeling a little uneasy.

---------

A week later Simon stands behind you after just having buried your baby and he holds you all the way back to the car after you leave flowers on the fresh dirt.

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley fluff #simon riley imagine #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley fluff #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley comfort #simon riley fanfic #simon riley fanfiction #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon ghost riley fic

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formulaforza · 1 year

Text

miss americana & the heartbreak prince masterlist

charles leclerc x female oc —what's the point of it all if you're not going to fall madly in into love?

—00. prologue

playlist social media au teaser orange show speedway

—01. all american girl

"“Because.” He doesn’t really know why he can’t land on a message, why everything he types sounds entirely too casual or formal or nothing at all like what he would say to another human being. This isn’t a problem that he’s used to having. It’s the in-person flirting that fucks him up, not the texts and DMs and comments. She was just… he doesn’t know what she was. She was just. End of sentence."

—01.5 hey google, who is christyn elliott?

—02. over the ocean call

"Chris has one student, Quinn, whose family can’t afford reduced lunch prices but also won’t request for Quinn to qualify for the free lunch. She thinks it’s an ego thing, that Quinn’s mom just isn’t able to accept that the family needs help. It’s a single parent household and the mom works two full-time jobs to try and make ends meet. After a newsletter was sent home in need of parent signatures at the beginning of the year and returned with Mama written in sloppy green crayon, Chris learned that Quinn was living a relatively self-sufficient life. As self-sufficient as a five-year-old can be."

—02.5 like real people do

—03. i think i fell in love today

"If there wasn’t something weird in the air before, there certainly is now. A new weird. A good weird. An implication of something in the air, weird. It’s out there now, just hanging above them. I want to kiss you. You can kiss me. Now all that’s left is for one of them to make the move."

—03.5 do the girls back home touch you like i do?

—04. every finger, every sigh

"She can feel eyes on her. Charles, she hopes. Charles, she can’t find in the chaos. When she does spot him, half-dead sparkler still in his hand, head drunkenly bobbing along to the beat, he’s looking right at her, grins a stupid grin and winks."

—05. monte carlo ave

"He shakes his head. “You don’t understand.” She can’t possibly understand it because he doesn’t even properly understand it, the way he feels about her. The fear he feels about losing all the indecipherable feelings. It’s just good, everything about her, about being near her. It’s all so sweet and nice and good and he really, really doesn’t want to screw it up."

—05.5 still so much I have yet to know

—06. quarter of the way

"As soon as they reach the cover of the trees, Chris is telling Hannah everything. Everything. She tells her about Austin, about how she met a guy who was just too charming to not get her number. About every nervous text and hours long FaceTime call and every picture and every conversation. She tells her about how crazy she feels, how insane she felt agreeing to fly across the world— “Wait,” Hannah questions. “You flew across the world?”"

—06.5 you're invited! welcome to dawsonville!

—07. homegrown

"It’s a twenty-three minute drive to Pig’n’Chik Barbeque in Northern Atlanta. Charles is visibly apprehensive of the little red building and the parking lot filled with the aroma of southern barbeque, but he keeps his commentary to himself. Chris knows it’s probably a little overkill, the hole-in-the wall joint being even a little too gimmicky for her taste, but that’s the whole point."

—08. it's so sweet

“I’ll be right back,” she says hurriedly, over her shoulder, letting the little girl pull her away. Charles nods and flashes her a quick wink before she’s properly whisked away, leaving him with nothing better to do than shove his hands deep in his pockets and analyze the artwork of primary school students.

—09. sweet nothing

coming soon

—10. i saw the end

coming soon

—11. the bees envy me

coming soon

—12. if i tremble

coming soon

—13. see the world

coming soon

—14. yours to keep

coming soon

—15. yours to lose

coming soon

—16. the view between villages

coming soon

—17. heaven in your eyes

coming soon

—epilogue. for the worms to eat

coming soon

#ma&thbp #mack's masterlist

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mamaestapa · 5 months

Note

getting a Christmas tree w Jamie!

Christmas Tree Farm|| Jamie Drysdale x reader

•pairing: Jamie Drysdale x reader

•summary: You and Jamie get a real Christmas tree and a sweet surprise from Trevor

•warnings: pregnancy, some language, trevor makes an appearance, lots of fluff

“Are you feeling OK?” Jamie asked from beside you as the two of you walked down the trail lined with an assortment of trees.

You looked up at your boyfriend with a smile, “I’m all good J.” He furrowed his brows, placing a hand on the small of your back, “You sure? Because if not we can always-.”

“Jamie,” you laughed, cutting off his rambling, “baby, I’m fine.” You grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as he laced his fingers with yours. “Now let’s go get our tree because Trevor is waiting for us at home, and you know how he’ll be if we’re even a minute late.”

Jamie chuckled at your words, nodding in agreement as the two of you continued down the trail. Today, you and Jamie went out to a little family owned Christmas tree farm to find your Christmas tree for this year. Since you moved out to California last season to live with Jamie and his best friend Trevor in Anaheim, the three of you started the tradition of buying a real Christmas tree. Trevor had bought a fake one when he and Jamie first stared living together, but once you moved in and insisted on getting a better tree, the two hockey players decided getting a real tree was the way to go.

Last year the three of you went to the farm to find a tree, but this year, it was just you and Jamie picking out the tree together. Trevor decided to stay back and clean the apartment a little bit to prepare for the tree, and get out some of the other Christmas decorations you three have accumulated over the last few years.

You and Jamie walked hand in hand through the trail of trees, pointing out to each other the ones that caught your eye the most.

“What about this one?” You asked, pointing at the tall white spruce tree to your left. Jamie smiled softly at you before he looked at the tree. “I love that one,” his smile turned to a frown, “but I think it’s too tall, sorry sweetheart.”

You shook your head, “It’s alright. We’ll keep looking.” Jamie smiled softly at you as he squeezed your hand.

The two of you continued walking for a bit until you both stopped at the same time in front of a tree. It was the same type of tree from before, but this one was a little shorter and a bit fuller than the last one—perfect for the size of your apartment.

“Look at this one,” Jamie said as he pointed at the tree you were already eyeing, “you like it?”

“I love it.”

Jamie smiled at the look of awe on your face. He loved to see how your face lit up when you found the perfect tree. Jamie took his hand away from yours, wrapping it around your body instead. He pulled you into his side, squeezing you gently when you wrapped your arms around his torso.

“Then it’s our tree, baby.”

About twenty minutes later, you and Jamie were pulling out of the tree farm with your tree secure to the top to the car, and headed off to your apartment to start decorating with Trevor. You arrived at the apartment about fifteen later, you and Jamie both laughed as you pulled into the parking spot. Trevor was out on the rooftop, trying to put up some lights. Jamie turned the car off and got out, yelling up at his best friend.

“How’s it goin’ up there bud?”

Trevor dropped the strand of lights with a dramatic sigh, “I’m so glad you’re back dude,” he picked up the lights and threw them back down. “These piece of shit lights are impossible to hang.”

You got out of the car and stood next to your boyfriend. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips as you looked up at a distraught and slightly agitated Trevor.

“Why don’t you come down and help Jimmy with the tree, Trev? He refuses to let me help carry it.” You suggest, to which Trevor responded with a nod, “Yes ma’am,” he pointed at you sternly, “Hey, even I refuse to let you carry it.”

“Thank you.” Jamie said happily as he looked up at his best friend who was getting ready to come off the rooftop.

You rolled your eyes playfully as you shook your head slightly at the two hockey players. In a matter of seconds, Trevor was now standing out front with you and Jamie. He gave you a hug as you thanked him for helping. You went inside the apartment as Trevor and Jamie maneuvered the mid sized Christmas tree through the front door. They brought it over to the corner of the living room where the red, plaid tree skirt was already placed. Grunting slightly, the two set the tree down into the holder and let go once it was secured.

“Whew,” Trevor breathed out as he put his hands on his hips, “little heavy, but it’s a pretty tree.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, “I thought so too.” You looked over at Jamie as you added, “perfect for our apartment.”

The two boys smiled at you. It was perfect for the apartment.

Once all the ornaments and lights were out of the boxes Trevor had gotten out from the storage closet, the three of you started to decorate the tree. You and Jamie strung the white lights around the tree as Trevor sorted through the ornaments, making sure to pick out the best ones.

“Trevor,” you sighed, picking up the ornament in the box he had handed you, “I am not putting this up on the tree.” You shook your head disapprovingly at your best friend as you held up the pickle ornament shaped like a man’s most intimate feature.

Trevor chuckled as he looked at the ornament, “Awe why not? You don’t want Dickle on the tree this year?”

“Dickle?” Jamie asked with raised eyebrows as he poked his head out from the back of the tree. “Yeah,” Trevor laughed, pointing at the ornament you were still holding, “come on Y/n, don’t you think it’s a little funny?”

You cocked your head to the side and just looked at Trevor with an unamused look. He looked at you with wide eyes and a look that read “come on.” You looked down at the ornament, a smile appearing on your face and a snicker leaving your mouth as you noticed the smile painted on the surface.

“Fine, it is a little funny.” You admitted as your laughter continued, “but we’re not putting it on the tree.”

Trevor sighed, “Fine, fine.” He turned around and leaned down to pick up another ornament. He walked closer to you, holding his hand out and wiggling his fingers at Jamie as he said, “Come here Jimmy.”

Trevor held the ornament out to the two of you, a small smile on his face as he said, “How about this one?”

You gasped as you looked at the ornament Trevor was showing you. Tears pricked at your eyes as they scanned over the words and the black and white picture in the middle. Jamie’s expression matched yours as he looked at the ornament.

“Trevor,” you cooed, your bottom lip pushing out slightly, “this is adorable. How did you get this?” He shrugged, smiling sheepishly, “I have my ways.”

Jamie shook his head, the smile never leaving his face as he flung himself at Trevor, hugging his best friend tightly.

“Thank you Z.” He mumbled sincerely into his friends neck. Trevor smacked Jamie’s back lovingly as he replied, “You’re welcome, bud. I love you guys.”

“We love you too Trev.” You said wholeheartedly as you too wrapped your arms around the blonde. You and Jamie pulled away from him, Jamie taking the ornament from his best friend with a wide grin on his face. The two of you walked over to the tree, hanging up the ornament in the middle of the tree under your initials.

“Perfect.” Jamie said as he stepped back and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. His hands traveled to your middle, resting on the small bump that was beginning to form. He stroked your swollen tummy with his thumb as the two of you stared at the ornament in awe.

Baby Drysdale 2024 was written on it in red cursive letters, while your most recent ultrasound picture of your sixteen weeks baby was in the middle of the ornament.

“I love you Jamie.” you sighed contently, as you placed your hands over his. He pressed a loving kiss to your temple before wholeheartedly replying. “I love you too, both of you.”

hi loves!!

some dad jamie because i couldn’t hold back. he’d be such a cute dad🥹

hope all of my jamie girls enjoyed this cute little holiday blurb. i thought it was sweet :) i’ll be posting a couple more throughout the night! i’ve gotten some really sweet requests for him, luke & jack, and joe burrow. so stay tuned!

thank you for all of the love and support. i love you all!😚🤍

#jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale x you #jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale blurb #jamie drysdale imagines #dad jamie🥹#thanksgiving blurbs

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creativepromptsforwriting · 1 year

Text

Twenty-Third Day of Gift-Giving

Twenty-Three Cozy Plans

baking cookies

drinking hot chocolate

reading a good book

wearing warm pyjamas

doing a jigsaw puzzle

hanging up fairy lights

drawing paintings

visiting the Christmas market

knitting a warm sweater

listening to podcasts

lounging by the fireplace

going ice-skating

drinking mulled wine

watching romantic movies

lighting scented candles

doing arts and crafts

taking a long nap

choosing a Christmas tree

decorating for the season

playing board games

listening to cozy playlists

bundling up and taking a walk

watching the snow fall

24 Days of Gift-Giving

#24 gifts #cozy prompts #day 23 #24 days of gift giving #writing prompts #prompt list #writing inspo #advent calendar #creativepromptsforwriting #writeblr #writing ideas #writing inspiration

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katyaromanoffpetrova · 2 months

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A lifetime of dates (part 3)

After being together for twenty years, Natasha and Katya have been on many dates in their lifetime. In this series, we see one from every part of their lives.

• Natasha Romanoff x Fem!OC (Katya Petrova from the Forgotten Ghost series) • Wordcount: 1.8k • Warnings: very angsty!!! • This part takes place a month or two after the events in Infinity War (after Tony gets back on Earth) do not repost my work as your own or translate my work Masterlist

A/N: thank youuuu @milfs69420 for this idea <3

2018

"Meet me on the roof."

Natasha hated herself for perking up with pointless hope when her phone chimed. But she hated herself even more for the way her stomach fell with disappointment when it was just Katya's name flashing across her screen. In fact, she resented herself for it.

Every night, when Katya cautiously reached for her body in bed, she counted herself incredibly lucky to still have her wife. The odds had always been against them; Katya should not be here right now. But she was, and Natasha struggled to find solace in it.

Sam, Wanda, Fury, T'Challa, Peter, they were all gone, their names never popping up on her phone anymore. Their absence outweighed Katya's presence by miles, and she couldn't get it to change. The darkness was too powerful, the one single star that represented Katya lost in the vastness.

The lights in the Compound flickered on as the motion sensors picked Natasha up along her journey to the roof. She could hear the fluorescents in the eerie silence, above the sound of her shoes on the stairs and the soft click as the doors fell into the frame behind her.

Everything was fully abandoned two weeks ago. Recruits left to find out what remained of their families, and the other Avengers—Steve, Bruce, Tony, Thor, Clint—abandoned their tasks and left the two Russians to fend for themselves, just as the world needed this team the most.

Tony fled to the countryside with Pepper, Steve into the city. Duties to his own people called Thor away, and Clint chose to run away from his pain instead of facing it. Nobody had been in contact since, their coats still hanging on the coat rack in the hallway like they left behind a past life.

Why were they allowed to move on and not her?

Natasha didn't have it within herself to be angry about it anymore. She had been, in the beginning, but everything took so much energy these days. Eating, getting out of bed, brushing her teeth, showering. She had no energy to even think about anger as an emotion. The empty pit in her chest sucked it all in.

She didn't want to acknowledge it for what it was, but the diagnosis lingered in the back of her head.

The roof was so dark that she had trouble locating Katya when she first stepped through the door. Where the city's skyline and the Compound's outdoor lighting used to outline her seated figure, there now was nothing. Half the city missed electricity, and entire buildings were abandoned. Natasha had to squint to make her eyes adjust quicker.

She found Katya at the very edge of the roof, facing the silent city. Her back was turned and her legs dangled off the side of the building like it wasn't a three story drop, a bottle of some kind in her hand.

She looked peaceful, but a dark thought flashed through Natasha's mind as she crossed the distance, fueled by the knowledge of her wife's unstable past. It was obvious Katya was struggling again, dangerous thoughts no doubt infiltrating her brain and convincing her to do irreversible things. But Natasha breathed easy knowing they lived for each other. As long as she was alive, so would Katya.

Quietly, she sat down beside her, the smooth pebbles that covered the surface of the roof unpleasant under her butt. Katya didn't acknowledge her in any way, but Natasha had a feeling she knew why they were up here. It wasn't for nothing that she planned a "date".

Neither of them said anything. They just sat there, watching the dark skyscrapers, the rustling trees, the rolling clouds that revealed parts of the moon. One nice thing about the reduced city lights; the stars were visible again.

Katya handed Natasha her bottle of beer. She felt indifferent about it, but she took a sip anyway. It tasted like crap.

They'd done this countless times before, having a drink on the roof. Especially after a tiring day, or on a warm summer evening. It was a nice way of unwinding and finding more privacy than their apartment provided. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they sat in silence. But it had never felt like this.

The air between them wasn't tense, but it was loaded with unspoken knowledge. They were losing their grip on each other and they both realized it. Natasha could feel her wife starting to slip away. She could feel herself starting to push her away.

There was already a distance between them. The love that had always been right there on the surface when she was around Katya was being pushed under by feelings stronger and more powerful. Anger, sadness, guilt, self-hatred, fear, they made that fiery flame turn into a smoldering piece of wood.

"Stay with me." Katya said suddenly.

Surprised, Natasha turned to look at her, thrown off by the interruption of the silence and the odd conversation starter.

Katya's words sounded like an order. One that Natasha could not disobey for the desperation that lay right underneath the surface. A plea, hidden as a command.

The light of the moon caught the fearful, sorrowful glint in Katya's eyes as they flickered towards the sky. Natasha was caught by surprise when the sight triggered a rush of feelings within herself. She didn't think she could feel anything other than heavy emptiness.

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised.

"You're already miles away," Katya whispered, carefully glancing at her.

Shamefully, Natasha averted her eyes to the bottle in her lap. Her heart ached in her chest, but she cherished the sharp stabs. It meant that she still cared about Katya's pain.

"I'm just so…" Her fingers curled into fists, that powerless feeling that threatened to crush her day and night fighting its way to the surface and making her tear up with anger.

The tears kicked Katya to life. Broken souls or not, they were wives, and protective mode would always kick in when the eyes glossed over. She leaned into Natasha's side, carefully prying her clenched fingers open to slide her own between them.

"I know. Me too."

Natasha relaxed slightly, but she couldn't help but focus on how even this touch felt foreign. Their palms were touching each other, but it's as if they were both wearing gloves. They couldn't fully reach each other. And the more she fixated on it, the more terrified she became.

She loved her wife. She loved her. Why could she not summon that feeling through the thick cloud of emptiness? Why did this touch not magically heal her?

Panic rose in her throat.

Not this, too. After everything they lost, she couldn't lose this too.

"I'll always stay with you," Natasha vowed desperately, the beer bottle in her hand trembling along with her fingers.

Katya didn't relax, her voice fragile and quiet as she asked, "Even if we'll forever feel like this?"

Dread wrapped around Natasha's broken heart. Forever? Forever this emptiness, forever this awful feeling of guilt and self-loathing? The only thing she feared more than living the rest of her life in darkness, was blindly stumbling through it without Katya. To have no one to talk to. No one to find comfort in. No one to live for.

She'd already gone through life like that once, before Clint found her, but she knew she wouldn't survive that a second time. Not after knowing what she'd lost.

Her throat closed with tears. "I don't want to be alone again," Natasha choked out.

"You will never be alone again." Katya's voice wavered with tears too, her grip on Natasha's hand tightening. "I'm staying too."

Natasha wanted to feel confident in their future, to know that she could provide what Katya needed. But the truth is, she already had nothing to give. All her energy and focus she put into running the Avengers brand alone. "I can't give you what I used to," she muttered, fearing Katya would leave eventually after she figured that out too.

Katya looked away, towards the swaying trees, the dark city. The reality slowly started to sink in. This would be their future for a while. Bland, hopeless, empty. It'd be hard. "Neither can I," she whispered. "Maybe we just give what we can."

Maybe. It'd have to be enough. She wasn't leaving, and Natasha wasn't leaving either. They had to make this work. They'd been through worse. They'd faced armies, death, and losing the love of their lives, and overcame it all.

Natasha's tears had long dried, the lump in her throat shrinking until it was easier to swallow. She wanted to scream in frustration. Beg whoever was listening to just fix this, so the world would be okay, and so she and Katya would be okay. But there couldn't be a god after what happened.

Her thumb traced the scar on the back of Katya's hand, memorizing the shape in case she wouldn't feel it for a while. "The love I have for you is always there. Even if you can't feel it, and even if I can't show it," she said into the silence. No horns, no sirens, no birds.

Seeing the acceptance in Katya's eyes broke her. They wanted to cherish each other like they deserved, but they knew they weren't able to give that. And to see her wife accept that reality hurt more than getting stabbed in the gut. Katya deserved everything and more.

Katya gently squeezed her hand. "Knowing is enough." The dark circles under her eyes betrayed that she'd not slept in a while, but her mind appeared clear. This bottle of beer must have been alone. "Never doubt my reason for being here, for staying. I love you, and I always will. And that single thing is enough. You are enough."

Those stupid tears. First, Natasha felt nothing, but now that the dam broke, the emotions would not stop flowing out of her.

She was never enough. Not fast enough, not smart enough, not cold enough, not ruthless enough. And not enough to stick around for.

Nobody thought she was worth more than someone to throw away if it was more convenient for them, if she could no longer provide what they needed.

Nobody but Katya.

Katya didn't need anything from her. Not a hug, not a kiss, not a home cooked meal, not a way to fix every problem in the world. Natasha just needed to exist, and that was it. Exist in whatever way she could and Katya would love her.

"We have to be okay," Natasha said, in the same tone as Katya started this conversation. An order, filled with desperation. They both knew what would happen if they wouldn't be okay, and it would not be pretty.

"We will be," Katya promised, her determination falling slightly flat. "We will be."

#katandnat #katyaromanoffpetrova #natasha romanoff #forgotten ghost series #natasha romanoff x fem!oc #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov #black widow #marvel #mcu #marvel mcu

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starlightdreaming · 17 days

Text

Happy(?) Birthday! Pt.1/2

Lucifer x Reader!

Fandom: Hazbin hotel

Content Warning: Angst to comfort, Birthday blues, another vent fic! (mb) Neglected/Abandoned friendship. Also this fic takes place in like a Highschool AU? I guess.

Synopsis: It’s your birthday! Who could possibly forget that?

Further Note: ITS MY BIRTHDAY RAHHH (4/11)

(Insert bday art here idk lol im working on it)

You sighed as you stared out the window on the second floor, head resting under your hand as you leaned into your desk. You watched the birds chirping in the trees, neglecting your work assignment your teacher had given you twenty minutes ago. You never did your work in the first place anyways, you were always doodling or drawing on them, not feeling motivated to do much else.

You heard footsteps approaching you while you were daydreaming, you turn to see your teacher had placed your paperwork down onto your desk, not giving you a glance. You look down at the paper seeing the usual grade you always get, another ‘F’ like anything else. Usually you just don’t turn in any paperwork, you grab your paper from the desk and shoved it in your bag, it already being long forgotten.

You looked out the window again, gray clouds covering the sky, making the day feel all the more duller. Halfway through the day, the bell rang, signaling it was time for lunch. It was the only time you actually enjoyed throughout the day, all your friends and you would hangout together for the good hour of the school day, you grabbed your bag again, putting it against your back, standing up and leaving the classroom. Many kids your age had walked past you, talking to their friends, going to classes and hallways to meet and hang out, the same you were about to do.

You turned in the hallway towards the stairs, following down as the kids flooded every corner of the building. After escaping the staircase you walked down the long hall that passed by the principals office and school library, reaching the cafeteria that held kids as they shouted and ran. The school felt flawed on how many open windows there were, letting random public eyes stare through the schools windows, seeing the many children that were in the facility, it really did bother you but no one seemed to care at all. You put your bag down at one of the small tables in the cafeteria room, walking to the lunch line to get your ‘healthy nutritional meal’ the schools claims them to be.

You scrolled through your phone as you waited, feeling the anxiety gnawing at your body as if the whole school was staring at you. They weren’t obviously but it still felt that way no matter what you did. It was terrible. Your anxiety chipped away when you saw Lucifer walk in the cafeteria, placing his bag next to yours, he saw you waiting in line and waved at you with a cheery smile, you waved back, smiling as well shyly.

He hopped in line with you, not caring what others think. You craved his confidence, confidence that gave you the ability to express yourself without caring or feeling everyone’s judgment upon you. “Happy birthday, Y/n!” He chimed loudly, making your heart sink from the attention you were nothing gathering but you tried your best to brush it off as you tried to keep your focus on your best friend of three years. “Oh, thanks Lulu..” you say nervously, hugging your arm.

“I made you a little something for your birthday but I’ll show you after we get our lunch!” He says excitedly while you both stepped further in the line, grabbing trays and a small milk carton to drink and putting them on your trays, stepping further down the line, getting your meals next, “so what do you plan on doing today?” He asked, looking at you with his ruby red eyes and rosy red cheeks, making your face heat up, “oh, uh.. nothing really..” you say, saddening at the loss of what to do, you felt like it was just a day closer to death and it made you worry.

“Aw don’t worry,” he says nudging you a little, “we can think of something together!” He smiles at you, his fangs showing as he tilted his head. You smiled and looked away, your face feeling more hotter the longer he stared at you.

After you both had got your meals, you both sat down together at the small circular empty table, making you wonder, “where is everyone else?” You asked, looking at Lucifer while he dug in his bag after putting his food down, “oh they’re hanging out with other people today in clubs! Wanted to join em but I didn’t want to leave you here by yourself.” He says as he pulled out a paper, turning to you, “here, I made this for you!” He says, eagerly showing his gift, it was a drawing of you and a bunch of ducks… as if he doodled them out of boredom, “oh, thank you so much Lulu.” You smiled, taking the drawing from him and admiring it with a smile, “it’s really cute.” “yeah? I’m glad!” He says, zipping up his bag and putting it on his back, picking up his tray, “I got to hangout with someone today, we have to discuss our project together but I promise to come back!” He smiles at you comfortingly as your smile faltered, “oh, alright then.” You say as you bring your smile back on your face slightly, trusting he would keep his word.

He left the cafeteria, leaving you alone with no one else. When the year began, your lunch table would be full of your friends, filled with even your friend’s friends, then later over time, your friends started separating in different hang out spots, leaving you here now, alone at your table on your birthday. You sighed as you waited for Lucifer to return, those seconds turned into minutes as time went by, your lunch felt unbearably long as you sat there listening to the other kids around you laughing and smiling, enjoying each others company as they conversed, making you feel all the more lonely. You felt too anxious to try and look for him, wandering the halls while people even gave you a glance in the halls was the last thing you wanted. You wish you could have just been invisible, you think it’s all the better to avoid everyone. Well, it’s not like the opposite is happening to you currently, who would want to even talk to you? You poked at your food, not feeling hungry and definitely not eating whatever the school serves.. it doesn’t even look nutritious or healthy.

You decided to throw your meal away, seeing as Lucifer hadn’t come back yet and lunch was almost over, you still expected him to come, even if he was a little late. He promised. You decided to go on your phone, distracting yourself with the little time there was and not before long; the bell rang.

It seemed like he did forget, even though he promised.

You sighed sadly, slightly betrayed by the trust of that promise, you were going to talk to him about it later.

You opened your bag and took out your binder before you left the cafeteria, staring down at your feet as you held the binder, hugging it. You avoided everyone’s and anyone’s gaze as you walked down the hall, your next class was upstairs, so you had walked up the crowded stairs, feeling your anxiety gnawing you as everyone pushed to go up the steps, when you made it out, you exhaled a breath quietly, not noticing you were holding it. You went to your next classroom door, waiting there as you held your binder, finding comfort in it as if it was like a shield from the world, it wasn’t long before you heard a familiar and loud laugh, you looked up and saw Lucifer with Lilith, he was smiling widely as he walked past you, not even acknowledging or noticing you, your heart sank, it further confirmed that he had actually forgotten about you and it hurt you. You raised your binder up to your face, hiding the tears forming from watching Lucifer happily spend time with someone else rather than you.

To you, Lucifer was your first. In a room full of people, you would choose Lucifer but as you watched Lucifer walk down the hall, looking at Lilith so attentively, you could tell he would never choose you. The thought made you go further into a rabbit hole, if Lucifer was the closest person to you in all the people you have had ever met.. does that mean no one would choose you as their first? You sucked in a breath, feeling your tears start to flow, you immediately wiped them away, your anxiety rising in you again, you were afraid someone would start asking questions or concerns and that would make your crying worse.

The teacher finally opened the door and you walked in first, looking down and using your hair to hide your tears, you sat at a desk that was at the corner of the wall, you turned to it, hiding your reddened face. You quietly sniffled as you used your sweaters sleeves to wipe and clean your face, you tried to distract yourself with something else, trying to stop the tears and thoughts, embarrassed to cry in public. You just wanted to go home and hide in your bed, hide away from the world.

You ignored the teacher as she began to ramble on with her lecture, you picked up your pencil and pulled out a paper from your binder, drawing and doodling to distract yourself. You felt completely blue, you didn’t feel like it was your birthday anymore after seeing Lucifer had forgotten or stopped caring about it anymore, you looked at the drawing he had made you and you were holding onto that sliver of hope that maybe he just didn’t notice you in the hallway and you were just being dramatic, thats all.

You lied to yourself, finding a sliver of comfort in it and that was the whole point. You always lied to comfort yourself, it was a coping mechanism at this point and it was the only comfort you could find in your life currently. When you pulled out the drawing Lucifer had made and saw yourself smiling on the paper, you wish you had felt the same way the drawing had did. You wanted to just have a birthday where you sat at the middle of the table, a cake in front of you lit in candles, you wanted all your friends and family to be surrounding you, singing and telling happy birthday with smiles on their faces, it’s all you wanted for your simple birthday.

Although you couldn’t see it being true to happen, you could just daydream and even draw it the scenario and thats what you did. You drew yourself and all those ‘friends’ you had, it was terribly made but it made you somewhat smile, you felt like you were in the drawing somewhat, like it actually happened and wasn’t just a doodle to cope, it felt surreal.

after one drawing, you drew another, indulging yourself in a fantasy with art, you kept drawing yourself in scenarios of you and characters you had made, blocking out the reality of your classes and school assignments as you were wallowed up in your own world, living in it now.

You had spent the entire day drawing, relieved school was now over for the day, you got the chance to finally look for Lucifer and talk to him, hoping he didn’t just completely forget you like everyone else had.

After going down the hallways, heading toward the front of the school for buses and car pick ups, you saw Lucifer talking with Lilith but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that he would go to your party - if he even remembered.

“Hey Lucifer, are you still going to my party?” you chimed, throwing your anxiety and intrusive thoughts out the window for a moment to ask him that question genuinely. You had spoke rather loudly, alerting people around you but you definitely caught Lucifers attention, when he turned to you, your smile faltered. Lucifer was looking at you and not in a pleasant way either, he looked at you with an estranged look, like as if you were a stranger and was confused as to why you were even inviting him to such an event. It made you step back in surprise from his expression, you looked around you and saw people staring at you, Lilith included and it made your heart sink, your anxiety spiking from the judgmental looks that surrounded you.

You began to panic, seeing all eyes were on you now, you waved at Lucifer, laughing nervously as you wanted to leave the situation quickly, “nevermind, i’ll figure it out!” You say awkwardly before walking out the building rather quickly. You hid at a corner of the school panting, you threw your bag to the side as you leaned against the wall and sat down, hugging yourself as you tried to calm your breathing, your tears falling down your face from the stress of the situation you were in a moment ago.

You wiped your face, hearing your phone in your pocket buzz. It was your mom, she texted you that she was here to pick you up, you felt rather relieved. You didn’t have to endure the bus ride home and you could avoid Lucifer too, you cleaned your face as quickly and perfectly as you could, grabbing your bag as you stood up to text your mom where you were specifically.

After a bit, your tears dried up and your mom drove to the lot, you walked to the car, getting in as you set your beg next to you, looking at your mom with a smile.

It was a comfortable drive, your mom had asked you what you had wanted for your birthday, a cake was included. As you spent time with your momma, you had gotten yourself a laptop, your mother agreeing to pay it for you, you were happy and rather excited to be able to use the new device for your school work (further art projects).

The way home was rather rejuvenating from the dreadful day you had to endure, feeling like no one had wanted to even or care about your day of your birth, your mom had made it all the more better, he sweet smile and a song chimed of your birthday, your family somewhat cared, they cared more than what you had expected, it was much but it was just enough for you to feel better about your day.

You had clicked and messed with your new laptop your mom had gifted you, not caring about the know at your door. You saw your mom was on her way to open it anyways so you didn’t bother as you kept typing in your notes and opening sites as you smiled only for time to stop when you heard a familiar male voice at the door, asking and calling for you, “Y/n is home right? I didn’t see her at the bus stop on the way home like we were supposed to.”

You stood up to go to the front door curiously, your mom smiled as she spoke, “yes, shes right here!” she chimed, turning to you and gesturing you to talk with your friend at the door, you saw the familiar blonde and immediately knew it was Lucifer, you wanted to just close the door but that would make your mom raise concerns you didn’t want her to worry about, “Happy Birthday Y/n.” Lucifer smiled at you, dressed somewhat formally, he was wearing something different than what he wore at school, you smiled nervously as you avoided his gaze, “thanks..” you say as you fiddled with the front door knob, kinda just wanting to hide away in your room now.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

cliffhanger and rushed, mb gang (just wanted to get this posted.)

#character x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer

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