#SOLOMONS WORST CLASS: COOKING
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Biographical Information
Name: Charisse Locks
Japanese: チャリスロック (Charisurokku)
Quote: "There are so many mysterious around the world. Wonder if there's anything I didn't know"
Gender: Female
Age: 16 y.o
Birthday: August 19th
Star Sign: Leo
Height: 175 cm
Race: Half demon, half angel
Species: Nephalem
Eyes color: Apple Red
Hair color: Dark Brown
Homeland: Renaissance City (the first country in Melodie Kingdom)
Family:
Lucifer (Father / Creator)
Simeon (Second Father / Creator)
Lumiere Locks (Younger brother)
Mammon, Leviathan, Satan Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphgor, Luke, Solomon, Diavolo and Barbatos (uncles)
Renee Sofia Petunia Rosa, Flora Astrid Marigold Kitty, Stefano Flynn Flameo Beau, Callum & Meribella Jewel (Related cousins)
Millicent Paradis & Luna Angelique (Ex-cousins)
Augustine Liddell Scott, Cosmina Featherbed, Coralia Marina & Harry (Adoptive cousins)
Barbara, Teresa and Theodore Jade (Adoptive sworn cousins)
Nicknames / Aliases:
Cherry (by her family and friends)
Cousin Cherry (by her cousins)
Fair lady (by some men who fell in love of her)
Dame de Ruby (by Rook; means "Lady of Ruby" due to her red eyes likes ruby)
Angelfish (by Floyd; because of her red eyes)
Others:
Sadism lady (by the rumors; due to her scary punishments to them if being annoyed)
School Facts and Fun Facts
Dorm: Nymfevilla
School Year: 1st
Class: 1-C | Student no.9
Occupation: Student
School Prefect
Café maid (part-time)
Novelist
Pianist
Guitarist
Best Subject: History Magic | Magiphilosophy | Fencing
Worst Subject: Machinery | Marathon run
Club: Music Club
Dominant Hand: Both (sometimes left-handed)
Favourite Colours: Ruby Red, Sapphire Blue and Cyan
Favourite food: Apple dishes (caramel poisoned apples) | Tea (lemon tea, herbal tea & milk tea)
Least favorite: Spicy foods and Chili
Likes: Her family, music, classical, pop rock, fairytales, gothic, musical theatre, living in commoner's life, novels, reality shows, fun games, warmth of her loved ones, books with strong characters and happy endings, peace, simple things
Dislikes: Metal music, family issues, being annoyed, thieves, pickpockets, tough trainings, living in luxurious life, considered as princess, being disrespected, her friends mistreated, smelly things, being alone, losing her loved ones, boredoms, lonely, her watches stopped, being pranked, her fathers' broke up, stepfamily, lies, cheaters, considered as an outcast, ruining hers and family's image
Hobbies: Listening her favourite music, singing, dancing, baking, chatting with her relatives and friends, doing house chores, feeding animals, visiting music theatre, drawing
Talents: Unlocking and locking the object, animal linguistics, dancing, vocalizing skills, leadership, cooking, drawing, modeling, spell summoning, break the curse herself for second, flight
Idol Stat
Performance: Her voice is considered divine due to her soft and deep voice. She always sings with all her touching yet sympathetic emotions.
Choreography: In addition to her vocal talents, Charisse is a skilled dancer and quick learner who can only do well in ballroom dance and freestyle.
Shimmering Wings: Gothic • Cool • Classical
Idol Brand
Demonic Star
This idol brand is the reminiscent of the most beautiful angel who once fallen from grace and became a prideful demon. Its outfits and accessories has apple and peacock feather motifs with a pair of dark angel's wings and devil's horn. Some outfits also have their own unique black and red masks.
Shimmery Wings: Gothic • Cool
Heavenly Emerald
This idol brand represents the archangel's hope of reuniting with the demon who was once an angel. Some aesthetics in clothing and accessories are dark and gothic, while others are bright and regal. This brand has a pair of angel wings in different sizes and shapes. The clothing has emeralds and sapphires on for the decorations.
Shimmery Wings: Gothic • Classical
Etymology
Charisse is primarily a female name of French origin that means "Grace, Beauty, Kindness."
Her surname, "Locks" is referred to her character inspired, Lockette, but also named after to her two creators' fake name, "Carlos & Christopher Locks" as well as reflected on their past.
Characters Inspired
Charisse was inspired by
Lockette (Winx Club / Pop Pixies)
Charlie Morningstar (Hazbin Hotel)
Mirabel Madrigal (Disney's Encanto)
#twst#twisted wonderland#regal fairytale academy#rfa#twst mc#charisse locks#nymfevilla#twisted wonderland x obey me#twst x obey me#obey me
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the brothers' worst classes, I did the brothers best classes, so here is the worst classes
(again, pic not mine)
Lucifer:
Satan does literacy because Lucifer is bad at it cuz he spends all his time sorting out things in his office
if Satan does literacy beacuse he likes it and because lucifer is bad at it... Lucifer is not gonna try to be good at it becuse he's gonna let Satan have his joy
Mammon:
drama, if they are doing horror, he passes out,
he litterally can't act, like seriously. he can't.
nothing more to it
Leviathan:
Literacy, like, manga? yes. books? no
he doesn't ge the point of things unless it is fanfiction..idk?
Satan:
music.
He will get mad at the teacher beacuse it is so much easier to learn instrumentents in books then irl-he isn't even irl
his anger will go boom
Asmodeus:
mathematics because he gives the vibe
'outdoorsy stuff' like p.e or survival skills
he's like "ew. No! I won't do it! my hair will get messy"-nah he's one of my top fave boys
Beelzebub:
food tech, I'm telling you, he will eat all the ingredients before you could even make the smoothie or whatever it is ur making
he just can't stand the smell of the food.
he can only do food tech if Solomon's in his class beacause his cooking will get rid of Beel's appetite
Belphegor:
Physical Education.
How the crap is he supposed to sleep,
unlike science he can't just join in
sleepy boi ain't got the energy, he jsut tired asf
#obeymeheadcannons#obeyme#obeymebrothers#obeymelucifer#obeymemammon#obeymeleviathan#obeymesatan#obeymeasmodeus#obeymebeelzebub#obeymebelphegor
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Hi! Love your writings! Reaction from both brothers and side characters of Female Gangster MC. Like they just found out
ANS: So, this My first request I ever made. I hope I did you justice with this Anon and also Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad you like my writing <3
If want to send request feel free to send them :3
Warning: Mention of Guns, Blood, Killing, Violence, Taking the fall for someone, and PTSD.
The Brothers and Dateables + (Luke platonic) finding out that F!MC use to be a Gangster
Lucifer
“MC, what’s this” Lucifer points at a scar on her chest, what looks like a stab wound.
“It nothing Lucifer, its just…. It just a remainder not to disobey orders….” She trails off, starting to tear up “it my fault, I got to reckless and almost someone I care about killed” she places a hand on the scar try to keep it together and not show weakness Infront of the Avatar of Pride.
Lucifer slowly took off one of his gloves, and walk closer to MC, and place his hand over hers
“Scars are nothing to be ashamed off, you did it to protect someone you care and….” He places his hand on her chin and lean her head back to met his black and red glance. “Your safe here, you don’t have to worry to go back to that life anymore”
You just the tears fall as your face soft and embrace him, feeling safe knowing that you don’t have hide you past to him.
Mammon
“This all your Mammon!” she angerly whisper in his ear, and groan at her pestering.
“ShHH! Quiet, they’ll hear us human-” then you smack him slightly on the back of his head.
“Whoops, you called me human again”
“Hey! Do you really need to- WAIT there’s a car over there” him point out, and quickly book it to the park vehicle and see that it isn’t lock, however?
“Crap! The key isn’t here” he tries to look around, but quickly push to the passenger, and MC sat the driver sit and open up under the steering wheel.
“Why do I have to do everything around here!” she grabs and cut two wires and start hot wire. In second the car starts up and she buckle her seat belt. “Mams, you guys can survive a car to the face?”
“Yeah…. Why- wait!?! What are you-”
“Buckle yourself in!” She quickly steps on the gas, the demons been chasing them heard the engine, but quickly get hit by the car. As the human and avatar of greed make their escape.
“WHAOOO! I have fun thrill in months” as MC enjoy the adrenaline, Mammon looks over to the human that he was suppose to protect, in amaze and fear. He makes a mental note that Lucifer isn’t the only he shouldn’t just provoke.
Leviathan
“This is impossible!” Levi is struggling with a level from a game from the human world that he just bought, while MC behind him, trying to hold her laughter.
Is a mock version of gang game and Levi, is at the level of the game where to rival gangs are fighting each other for territory?
“You’re focusing on the grunts and not the ones who are hiding from afar- look” she grabs the control from Levi and start playing the level like it was nothing, as she explained how and why he keep dying, all the while Levi is both shock with how MC can play and concern about the implication of how she gotten the knowledge.
“There, now you just have to escape, I never good with car chase, only driving really fast- Huh…. Levi was wrong?”
Levi snap from his train of thought and grab the controller from her, and finishing the level.
“MC, were you-”
“Yeah, but left that behind me.”
Satan
MC and Satan are watch Mammon and Levi being strung up by Lucifer from afar.
“I’m surprise, that you’re not phase about this” Satan asks looking over to her, watching why she not reacting on the display of punishment Infront of her.
“EH… I’ve seen worst”
“Really? What worst then this”
“Being killed-”
“What!?! That’s not punishment!”
“You didn’t let me finish, watching someone being killed Infront of you is worst. It’s a way to learn to obey your boss and survive in world”
She looks on to the demons being strung, while Satan is still letting the information sink in, who know that the human was brought to hell, has already lived in one.
Asmodeus
“I’ve been meaning to asks darling, where did you get your scars?” Asmo asks MC as he and her are taking a bath together.
“Which one?”
“Well…. All of them”
“Ah…. All of them are from fights that I got to”
“Why would you go and get in to fights, you’re to precious” Asmo cooed them move closer and grab her hand, and start scrubbing her arm. She laughs as she is tickled by his action.
“You know, for a bunch of demons. your all nicer than other humans back home” pauses for a moment, by continue with a giggle.
“Well, you don’t have to worry anymore. As long I’m here no one will ever lay a finger on you again” and that’s a promise he made to you and himself.
Beelzebub
“I’m glad you like it Beel” MC made Beel a homemade dish from the human world to calm the hungry demon.
“Its so good, I like your cooking”
“Nah…. You would like Sal’s cooking, he’s the one who taught me how to cook this”
“Maybe, if we go to the human world, you might think he’ll cook for me and my brothers”
“Yeah totally! He loves my friends…...but he can’t”
“Why? Did he leave or something?”
“His at prison, he took the blame for me. And said you should get out of this life….. I guess cooking isn’t the only thing I learn from him” she laughs to hide the fact she misses her mentor.
Beel quickly engulfs her in bear hug, and rub her back.
“Is okay, maybe we can visit him someday”
She sighs and let the tears fall as she return the hug.
“I-I’ll like that, thank Beel”
Belphegor
“You’re still up” MC asks Belphie who is standing at the doorway at her room.
“Sorry, I was waiting for you”
“Really why?”
“You been having nightmare with some men with guns, I figure to help you” she let out sharp gasp and turn away from Belphie.
“I’m sorry to keep you up-”
“No! I already cause so much pain; I want to help you to keep those nightmares away. Like I promise.”
She looks back with her eyes widen and clenching his pact mark on her wrist. She hastily grabs his hand with her head hang low.
“P-please…. Make the nightmares go away….”
“Anything for you, I’ll keep the nightmares and the bad men away”
Diavolo
“You like what you see” Diavolo spoke behind MC startling her, Diavolo was shock to her reaction almost bumping into crown in display.
“Oh, I-I wasn’t planning to steal this I swear-”
“Calm down, I trust you. Sorry for startling you.”
“You trust me, even with my background” she mutters, and look directly at Diavolo’s eyes to see if his lying or not.
“I didn’t look in to your past, only your connection with Lilith. I believe in Demons, Angel, and Humans can have second chances. If you’re a good person now, as long you learn from your past. I don’t see to bring up old scars”
“Thank you, My lord”
“Please, Call me Diavolo”
“I don’t think Lucifer will like that”
Barbatos
MC is inside Barbatos room, helping him clean, to the surprise of the demon butler seeing that he didn’t help in clean. But he can’t refuse the human.
But then she stops and look at the door she uses in going back in time in the time of the “Incident”
“Barbatos, can you see any path where I stayed in the human world and never came here in the first places”
“I’m afraid, I am forbidden to use my powers like that, why may I ask what makes you think of that?”
“I think, I got the luckiest path. And I’m thankfully for this. I think I’ll be in the side of the road-”
Suddenly Barbatos places a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look at the demon.
“Its better not to think of what could’ve happen and focus on your presents self”
Simeon
“Simeon, am I bad person?” She asks while Simeon is writing a draft of his story.
“No, why do you ask?”
“You’re the closes person to being pure and good, is it good for me to threaten people even though I was just following orders”
Simeon stop writing and put the quill down, and look over to MC.
“Did they threat you?”
“Yes”
“Did you, like doing things like that to other?”
“No!” she quickly sat up to that question.
“Are you willing to do that again?”
“Never!”
“Then you’re a good person.”
Solomon
Solomon and MC are at purgatory hall practicing spells for class, when MC spill the potion on to herself, then she starts taking off her shirt, leaving Solomon blushing and turning his back to give her some privacy.
“MC!?! Warner me next time, before you start striping.”
“Sorry, force of habit”
“What you always spill potion on yourself all the time, back home” she looks with bows rise up.
“Oh… No, every time I get back home from a job, I’m usually covered in blood and I don’t want to leave any evidence behind”
“W-what exactly, are those “Jobs” of yours?”
“I you know shady things, if you can keep secrets about yourself. Then I have secrets of my own” she smiled teasing him.
But to him, its no tease.
Luke
“Luke, little advise from me. Don’t be like Mammon or Me” MC and Luke watches Mammon, Levi and Solomon playing poker in class waiting the bell to ring.
“I know Mammon shouldn’t be followed, but you’re a good person I don’t see why you rope yourself with him.”
“Oh sweetie, I’m just nice to people I care about. I don’t care for others outside my gan- never mind”
“Wha-” then the bell rings, and Mammon rushes and grab MC by arm and dragging her out the classroom.
Leaving Luke confuse and worried.
#obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me solomon#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me reader x lucifer#obey me reader x mammon#obey me reader x leviathan#obey me reader x satan#obey me reader x asmodeus#obey me reader x beelzebub#obey me reader x belphegor#obey me reader x diavolo#obey me reader x barbatos#obey me reader x simeon#obey me reader x solomon#obey me shall we date#obey me f!mc#obey me swd
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Baby brother mc! Prt 4
[tags: mc is a minor!!/ M! Mc ( little brother!)/luke is trying so hard / widdle baby luke gets embarrassed/ Luke gets teased/ luke x child mc implied/ ganging up on adults >:)/ simeon abuse( not serious but he gets pranked)/ solomon fucking yeets a child/wizard abuse/solomon being a scapegoat/ solomon gets In trouble/ mc and luke being little shits.]
Luke-
- he didnt like you. >:(
- okay but for real but he's kinda scared of you. Angel children are for the most part very obedient, loving, and tidy. You on the other hand are being raised by 7 OF THE WORST DEMONS IN HELL. You are loud, messy,and crave violence and chaos with every breath you take.
- however Simeon tells him to give you a chance, "everyone can be the best person they can be if given the chance,Luke :)"
- so he tries. TRY being the big word here. Sometimes he'll try to boss you around and then other times he wont touch you with a 10 meter pole.
- tries to be the leader of this dou but hes more like a child holding onto the leash of a very large dog. Getting violently dragged everywhere.
- imagine that when you two meet and your shorter than him but then you hit a growth spurt and you get taller then him. I know he's WAY older than you but he is still physically a small child.
-" I'll take the lead bc IM THE OLDEST."
- you get paired together for assignments in class A LOT. With the way you two bicker, some of the older demons in the class have started shipping you two together.
" star crossed babies!"
" daawww look the teddy bear duo are flirting again!💘💘"
" oh they grow up so fast!"
" luke and mc sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!💘💘"
- Luke has never blushed so hard before. if you squint you could mistake him for a tomato.
- "S-SHUT YOUR FILTHY DEMON M- MOUTHS" " I-I WOULD NEVER-" "I WILL NOT BE TEMPTED BY YOU, D- DEMON SPAWN!" he says, (more like screams lmao) towards you.
- he thinks its weird how you like to play in the mud,why would you intentionally try to get dirty?? That seems like a hassle for your guardians.
- absolutely dumbfounded that you just...play..with Cerberus. Like this giant demon dog is being so gentle with you. You are biting its ears and tackling it. Luke doesn't understand that that's just how demon children play, rough and full of biting/ scratching.
- same goes for playing with your adopted siblings, you'll bite them and try to play fight and they'll just be like " oi!" And throw you to the ground only for you to get back up and do it again. Luke is HORRIFIED.
- I've always headcanoned that demon children are naturally viscous, and they will purposefully try to maim their elders as a form of establishing dominance or just to play. And so you'd be very sturdy to get flung across the room by beelzebub and then get back up giggling happily.
- you have to restrain yourself if you play with luke. The little angel boy can only take so much.
- if he doesn't wanna Wrastle with you ,you guys can just do " normal child things" wanna color? Watch tv? "We can bake a cake! I learned a new recipe from barbatos yesterday I'd love to make it for you?"
- you two flock to barbatos pretty often. It's honestly very cute. He made you both matching aprons and when you bake together you look like the CUTEST CHEFS.
- he gets uncomfortable when you and beel eat in front of him. You two have sharp teeth and seeing you both gripping and ripping your food to shreds is disturbing. You love his cooking though! Delicious!!
- through time you two become friends, he's got your back anytime. A valuable alibi for your dastardly plans.
- you two have gotten in trouble a few times. Luke often got grounded bc of you.
- Michael is aware of your existence, and from the reports he reads from Simeon and luke, hes not happy that you continue to disrupt Luke's education. He keeps a good eye on you to say the least.
- you once put a bucket of water above Simeon's door. He was angered and stuck you both in time out for a few hours.
- put invisible magic walls up to mess with other students.
- it makes Lucifer on edge when luke is hanging out in your room. Not that he thinks you'll do anything, he just doesn't like angels in the house.
- one time Lucifer and Simeon had some business to do in a small city in the mortal realm and so they brought both of you. They gave you some money and you two explored the park and and a few sweet shops. You showed him some things you'd learned from satan about the mortal realm:
Jumping in leaf piles!
The playgrounds
The library (of course )
People watching! " look at that one-" " that one is so old! He has a big nose"
You found a frog and tried to show it to him. It croaked and he shrieked.
You took off your shoes and socks and played in a duck pond.
Feeding the ducks, you got chased by a goose lol.
And a picnic in the cemetary! It was very peaceful aside from some of the rude spirits that stayed there.
Simeon-
- You accidentally called him mom once, and neither of you recovered.
- he will never admit it but he can sense your soul and how similar it is to lilith's. Hes disheartened to know that lilith will never be able to return to the celestial realm even after death. But he is happy that now her soul is reunited with her family in the form of you.
- probably they only being aside from barbatos that you havent maimed.
- he tries to handle your violence the best he can, but damn you have a lot of energy.
- one time you and luke were pranking him. Luke was distracting him while you where behind him putting push pins on the corner ends of his Cape that touched the floor. Jokes on you, he thought it was funny and it didnt tdo anything aside from get yanked him back when he tried to take a step.
- won't let you eat too many sweets. Like barbatos, a tummy ache is a tummy ache through and through.
- he has an infinite amount to knowledge, so you ask him a lot of existential questions. " young one should I inform Lucifer of the thoughts you have?
- you ask about the celestial realm a lot. You just wanna know what it's like, is it all clouds? Is there grass? Where does your food come from if the ground is all clouds?? Where do baby Angel's come from if you have no mommy? Father help him he's only use to luke asking those questions.
- if you and luke are playing he'll sit near you and eavesdrop on your imaginary conversations. Not in a creepy way, in reality some of the "play battles" you and luke have with your action figurines make for great writing ideas!
- he has made a character based off of you and has hinted sudlely in his latest novel about this character. Levi among other TSL fans have been theorizing about a possible 8th lord for a years now. Their gonna a bust a nut when they read this new novel.
- he finds your sense of adventure and wonder endearing. You don't hesitate to tell him about the "adventures" you've had recently.
Solomon-
- when you first met he leaned down to your level to properly greet you. This was his first mistake because you said hello and introduced yourself, then you proceeded to headbutt him.
- you nearly broke his nose, asmodeus was horrified, Lucifer was in tears he was laughing so hard.asmo got mad at Lucifer and tended to his bleeding master. You got a peice of candy as a reward *wink wink*
-
- Solomon almost always is aware of You. He blames himself for the headbutt, he knows how unpredictable demons can be, especially young demons.
- just because you are asmo's baby brother doesn't change that.
- he's not scared of you persay, hes been around for awhile so there's much scarier things than a small demon spawn. Hes just...weary of you.
- often you will come to him with magic problems. Hes not the best teacher in the world but who is he to turn down such an eager young lad?
- you are his little errand boy! You're really good at finding certain ingredients for his spells. In exchange he will give you things that a small child would deem valuable.
- you brought him an acid spitting giant lizard you found,Damn thing was the size of a cat. heaven knows where you found the damn thing.
- while he was kinda grossed out by it he also found it astounding that you managed to not only find and capture it, but also subdue it and carry it around like one would hold a kitty cat.
- Solomon has a new familiar, a giant acid spitting lizard named...kitty
- may or may not have started rumors that you and luke were tiny boyfriends.
- " can I have [ insert thing] on the top shelf?" " I dont know CAN YOU??" * gets headbutted in the gut*
- hes learned his lesson with beel, do👏 not👏 leave 👏open👏 potions 👏unattended 👏 you will get curious and you will try to drink the. He's gotten more than A few ass- chewings from Lucifer for that.
#obey me#obey me mc#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#male reader#obey me! solomon#soloman you cheeky fuck im onto you#om solomon#om! solomon#obey me soloman#obey me solomon#solomon#om! simeon#obey me! simeon#shall we date simeon#simeon#obey me simeon#luke is my little brother#luke obey me#om! luke#luke#obey me luke#luke om#om!#om! shall we date#baby brother mc
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hello, i saw that the requests are open so i decided to make one. Can you please do a HC with Barbatos and Solomon (separated)? With fem!MC where the Y/N is sick and they need to take care of her. I love your writing ❤
being sick is being... | barbatos + solomon x reader [hc]
cw: fem!mc (but no pronouns used) sick!mc, separated headcanons, fluff.
an: hey anon, thanks! you're really sweet. i'm sorry for the lateness, i was really busy. in this scenario mc for some reason don't stay with the brothers (don't question it, i just thought would be easier with she staying with barbs and sol). so here it is, hope you like it!
barbatos:
...spoiled. once you start showing signs of being sick, barbatos makes time for you.
after a good scolding, of course. mc, he told you to no play in the rain but did you listened to him? no. and now look what happened.
you're staying at the demon lord castle where he can check on you constantly. if you are just friends, you stay in one random room. if you are dating, he might let you stay on his.
might because he works for diavolo and he can't get sick, but on the other side, dude can't think about letting you all alone with a fever.
you end up in his room. he will figure something out.
barbatos leaves a bell for you to ring when you need something. checking on your temperature before work and making sure you eat all of your meals.
the brothers come to visit you and he makes a long speech: touching you only with clean hands, don't make you too tired... either way, he still makes some casual checks to see if everything is going fine (except for lucifer. he trusts lucifer will follow everything perfectly).
diavolo is always coming (we know this man is a freak for visits) and barbatos is desperate. my lord, you can't keep coming here, you will get sick! think about the risk!
personally makes soups that he read will make you better. gives your meals on record. you are amazed how the demon can keep an eye on you and manage his tasks as a butler.
if you complain about being bored despite using your D.D.D, barbatos finds books for you. asks satan for advice on your favorites, even.
when you get better, he cooks you your favorite dish while you chat and drink tea with a smiley diavolo. won't tell you but he will miss having you around all the time.
solomon:
i can't resume in one word: teased, a little spoiled. when you show up at purgatory hall's front door, sniffing, he knows what happened. he was out on the street buying some things while you and mammon were playing in the rain, and of course you would get sick.
sighs, but he has a soft smile. lets you in and you lay sleeping on his fluffy bed while he searches around for books about healing spells. turns out he can't solve this with magic, so the sorcerer decides to do it himself.
goes to the kitchen and tries to make you a soup he read was good for your health, but simeon and luke are desperately trying to keep him away.
luke is cooking everything you need and the little dog angel is happy. simeon keeps company with his soothing presence.
solomon takes notes for classes you need and stick them to your planner/book whatever you use to study. sometimes he comes back with human realm movies you couldn't find in devildom.
keeps the brothers away saying "they might make your condition worst", but the sorcerer just likes to fool them. lets asmo come because he has a soft spot for him.
pats your hair sometimes and tries a few silly jokes to make you smile. might read to you when you are sleeping or after you ask him to.
if you are too tired/weak to take a bath, he will help you without any malice. dress you if his shirts or sweaters because he thinks you look so cute with them.
also dries your hair and brushes it to you. you can't tell me otherwise.
when you get better, solomon might give you hints to move to purgatory hall (he likes having you close, mc).
#obey me fluff#obey me barbatos#obey me barbatos hc#obey me hc#obey me headcanons#obey me barbatos headcanons#obey me barbatos fluff#obey me solomon#obey me solomon fluff#obey me solomon hc#obey me solomon headcanons#obey me solomon x mc#obey me barbatos x mc#obey me solomon x reader#obey me barbatos x reader#solomon x mc#barbatos x mc#barbatos x reader#solomon x reader#obey me! shall we date?#obey me!
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Part 2: Food in The Devildom and Celestial Realm
headcanons for what type of things the brothers' typically cook when its their day of the week to cook? who is the best, who is the worst? also- if you have time- headcanons for what you think devildom vs celestial dishes are like and if there's any difference to human cooking in prep or ingredients? just cooking headcanons! go crazy. can u tell i daydream about what devildom/celestial food tastes like everytime it gets mentioned 😳 like imagine poison apple pie or those cigar cookies 🤗
(Part 1 of this ask, the headcanons about the brothers’ cooking skills, can be found here (x).)
Food! One of the cornerstones of culture ^-^ It’s really interesting to see how a society’s culture affects its food and vice versa!
So what’s up with the Devildom and Celestial Realm?
The Devildom
Because we’ve spent the most time in the Devildom, we know more about the food there. Most of it is adjacent to human world stuff, but with weird— I mean, local ingredients. Poison apples, bat meat, cocktails you have to mix while under the effect of a siren’s song to get them to taste right…
I think the most interesting aspect of Devildom (and probably the Celestial Realm too) cuisine is the incorporation of magic. The siren drink from the 30s lessons comes to mind, but so does that rare Hell Coffee they mention at one point. The one that’s more bitter the more the maker loves the person they’re making it for.
Magic is highly symbolic, I wonder how that plays into Devildom cooking? Do you have to be in the right mood to prepare certain dishes or it’ll taste wrong? What creatures’ meat is considered common and what’s an upper class delicacy? Can demons taste magic in a way humans can’t?
Which brings me to Solomon, a legendarily terrible cook. Is he awful at all cooking, or is it his attempts to make Devildom cuisine, which incorporates magic, that fail because humans lack the senses to properly taste magic? Is he constantly pulling the magic equivalent of dry-rubbing pork with a fuckton of cayenne pepper? I have a funny feeling that he is.
Speaking of humans, let’s talk long pig. It’s mentioned a few times, mostly in the earlier lessons, that at least some of the brothers have either eaten entire humans, human meat, or a human soul before. I wonder how common human meat/souls actually are in the Devildom, because from the way everyone’s worried MC is going to be devoured, it seems like it’s pretty rare. (Which is weird if the Devildom is supposed to, in part, be Hell, but that’s a crack theory for another day)
Do demons need some weird nutrients only found in magic and/or souls? What’s up with cannibalism seemingly being at least kinda chill down there? (iirc Beel has been known to munch on a Lil D every now and then)
What would a soul even taste like? Are human souls the shrimp colours of flavour?
Alright, that’s sufficiently off the rails. NEXT!
The Celestial Realm
Perhaps this is Luke’s or Michael’s fault, but most of what we’ve seen from the Celestial Realm is sweets, which makes me think angels have sweet tooths. But! It also makes me think of Biblical manna, what G-d is said to have provided the Israelites to eat during our* 40 year desert trip after being brought out of Egypt. It’s been talked about in the Hebrew Bible twice, once in Exodus and again in Numbers.
It’s described as showing up with the dew at night, looking like flaky hoarfrost (the crunchy frost layer you sometimes see in the fall or winter on grass in the mornings, if where you live gets cold enough for that), or sometimes bdellium (which itself looks like prunes or dates kinda). Raw, it tastes like a honey wafer, but can be ground up and baked into cakes, which apparently taste like cakes made with oil.
Other fun thing about it: it spoils fast if you don’t eat it that day, unless it’s been saved for Shabbat/the Sabbath, because every morning the Israelites had to pick it by hand and no working is allowed on the Sabbath. Whether this is an inherent property of manna or just how G-d chose to present it to the Israelites as an encouragement of temperance is unclear. Because it’s the Bible. And not meant to be worldbuilding.
ANYWAY! That history lesson over, I find it interesting that the Celestial Realm, what’s supposed to be this place of rigid order and righteousness, is also home to something as simple and indulgent as sweets. It’s not that the Devildom or the human world doesn’t have sweets of course, but I can’t recall anything not sweet/dessert related from the Celestial Realm.
Also, it would be a massive disservice to my blog and personal brand if I didn’t mention the Furry Syrup. Why does the Celestial Realm have syrup that turns you into an animal? Is it a prank? A unique culinary experience? Is Simeon just really strange?
It’s not that weird for magic food to do something to the person who consumes it, it’s just kinda weird that it’s coming from fake-Heaven of all places. Is eating a full-body experience for angels? Is the Furry Syrup meant to do that, or is that some sort of allergic reaction because the brothers aren’t angels anymore?
It’s a mystery!
Well, I don’t think this was necessarily what you might have been looking for, anon who requested this, but it’s what I’ve got. I’d love to hear anyone else’s thoughts about food in Obey Me, especially food and magic bc there’s a lot of cool stuff you could do there imo.
*You’ve probably seen me say god or even God uncensored on here before, but in this case I’m talking about The Actual Abrahamic Big Man Upstairs, and as a Jewish person, we’re technically supposed to censor His name for Reasons. I tend to forget to do that digitally bc, well, you can’t ritually bury a tumblr post in the ground... But I remembered today, so I’m gonna try and do that. Life’s kinda complicated when you’re a jew who likes to read/consume media about bible fanfic okay?
Also might have noticed I spoke weirdly in the first person when talking about the exile from Egypt. That one’s a force of habit from Passover/Pesach, one of the big Jewish holidays. We’re meant to talk about the events of Exodus in the first person, as though it happened to us, not just our ancestors, for Reasons. I suppose it’s a tribal/community thing. Idk, i’m not a rabbi, I’m not even really religious. I’m just a nerd who never went to shul but is Very Interested in my own culture and mythology.
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me celestial realm#obey me devildom#obey me shall we date#mine#my writing#will i write a worldbuilding theory post about obey me without mentioning judaism?#or just anything related to the bible?#probably not#but can you really blame me?#mf SOLOMON and ASMODEUS and LILITH ARE IN THIS GAME!!!
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His Worst Sin
Simeon - Angst - 1.5K
TW: mild swearing, hints of abusive parents if you squint.
Was it so wrong to want more?
Of course, being an angel, Simeon knew the answer was yes. Yes, it was wrong to want more, because Father provided everything you needed. If you didn’t have it, you didn’t need it, and it’s very absence was important to your life or your growth. Wanting more meant you didn’t value what you already had.
But every time you sat next to him in class, every time you came over to bake with Luke, to learn spells with Solomon, every time you stayed for dinner or simply sat with him and read a book while he wrote, Simeon couldn’t help wanting more. Stay, he wanted to say so many times. Just stay.
But every time, he watched your demon come and pick you up from Purgatory Hall. A greeting with a kiss, your fingers laced together, a quick laugh at something he said as he walked you away from the angel and back to the House of Lamentation.
Simeon knew he wasn’t a very good angel. He had problems with his anger, problems he stuffed down with smiles and let slip with pointed statements. After the fact, he was always ashamed of himself, ashamed of his loss of control, ashamed of his temper, ashamed and afraid of what Father would think, afraid of where his anger would lead him in the end.
Lately, his anger, his worst sin, had begun to shift a little, and he felt himself on edge almost constantly. The fight to keep control, not to let go with irritated statements or annoyed observations, began to consume him. Meditation and prayer did little, and he was deeply confused by the worsening of his own weakness. Eventually he realized the only time he felt peaceful anymore was with you. But the moment you left, the minute your lover’s arm circled around your shoulder or waist, the anger would hit him so hard it sometimes left him breathless.
It was only after a period of introspection that he realized he’d succumbed to another sin: jealousy.
Heaven help him, he tried to control it. More prayer, more meditation, journaling, turning his feelings into fiction, he even started avoiding you in an attempt to bring his angelic nature back in line. Only when your confused texts and voicemails became hurt and bewildered did he give in.
Two sins to control now? Two? Wasn’t wrath enough, Father?
Love, this type of love, was forbidden to him.
I won’t fall. I won’t. Murmured to himself, over and over. Repeated like a mantra. Like a prayer.
His life in the Celestial Realm always felt like skating on thin ice (Father help me if I ever use such a cliché in my own writing!). He knew the other angels thought he was, well, strange. His anger, no matter how well hidden, was only part of the equation. His humor was never understood. He spoke about things best forgotten, voiced opinions better left silenced. He knew his creativity, his writing, was considered unusual and borderline wrong by the others.
His only saving grace, in their eyes, was the patience and care he showed the young angels.
He was pretty sure his shaky status was one reason he had been sent down to the Devildom on this exchange program. Not as an ambassador, but as a lesson. Look, Simeon, look at what could happen to you if you get any worse.
What they didn’t know was how good it felt to be understood, down here among the devils. To be praised for his cooking, to be helped with technology. To not only give, but to be able to take as well. The brothers didn’t exactly trust him (and the bangle incident hadn’t exactly helped with trust. He’d been so enraged at being used to essentially torture them - even if it had been an accident - that he’d had to hole up in Purgatory Hall for a few days to make sure he was fit to be around people) but neither did they shun him.
And you . . . You laughed with him, you read his latest writings with praise and gentle critique, you sat in silence with him, profound and welcome silence, until that comfortable silence felt more like home than home. You used your good heart to help counsel Luke, curtail the worst traits of the demons, and, somehow, heal all those around you.
You did so much already, cared for him so much already. Perhaps it wasn’t the way he wanted you to love him, but you loved him. So why did he want more?
And why did this bring out all of his worst traits? Why did he want to be petty - and worse, manipulative? He got chocolate all over his gloves the last time you baked together just so he had an excuse to remove them, an excuse to brush the skin of his bare hand against yours as you shared the beignets. Hours of his writing time disappeared as he dreamed about - and occasionally wrote about - ways to drive a wedge between you and your demon lover.
You were happy. Why couldn’t he be happy for you?
Why did he hate himself so much just for loving you?
Why was this love forbidden to him?
Perhaps he’d be better off just waiting. You were a truly good person; the odds of you ascending after death were far better than average. Perhaps he could approach you then, when you were alone . . .
What is wrong with you, Simeon? Get a hold of yourself.
You’d missed a step outside of RAD today and before you could do more than recognize that you were falling, he’d caught you. Hugging you to his chest until you regained your balance, he’d been unable to breath. Partly out of fear for you, but partly at how you pressed your hands to the skin of his arms, wrapped your hands around his biceps to steady yourself. And then, steady on your feet again, you’d looked up at him with bright eyes and laughed at your own clumsiness until he’d laughed with you.
And as he woke that night, sharply, from a dream full of forbidden ecstasy, he realized he’d slipped into lust as well.
Sliding out of bed, he padded, barefoot, to the communal bathroom. Locked the door. And instead of doing what a human or demon might do, he gripped the edges of the sink with both hands and stared, hard, angry, into the reflection of his own eyes.
He began, at last, to understand Belphegor. He couldn’t feel hatred towards humanity, he loved them too much, but he could (and did, if he was honest) feel anger and jealousy. They were given everything. Everything. Not just the ability to love, but the autonomy to love freely.
It was the last realization that almost broke him. Even if you came to him with words of love on your lips, he wouldn’t be able to accept them.
I won’t fall. I won’t. I won’t, I won’t, I won’tIwon’tIWON’T!
He broke eye contact with himself, lowering his head, gripping the sink so tightly his hands hurt, until he feared he might snap the porcelain. He wanted the pain to ground him, to focus his mind. How futile.
Could he? Could he accept you if you came to him?
He was so afraid that he couldn’t.
He was so afraid that he could.
He was so afraid of falling, and so, so afraid of Father . . .
His eyes snapped back up to meet his own gaze. Was he? Was he afraid of Father?
A long moment, a searching gaze, trying to read the answer in his own countenance.
Was he afraid of Father?
He was so afraid the answer was yes.
Why am I always so damned afraid??
A loud noise and his reflection shattered to pieces in front of him. Slowly, slowly, he looked down at his bleeding hand. He hadn’t meant to . . .
Whirling away from the remains of the mirror, Simeon walked over the shards on the floor, ignoring how they bit into his bare feet. Sitting on the edge of the tub, he slumped over, his head in his hands.
This was his worst sin, wasn’t it? Not wrath . . .but cowardice.
Why hadn’t he made a move on you before any of the demons? Cowardice.
Why hadn’t he stood up with Lucifer and the others during the war? He’d believed in them, believed in Lilith, believed in love. Why hadn’t he stood with his brothers? Pure cowardice.
He hadn’t even had the courage to stand and face them in battle, to face his former brothers with honor.
And where was he now? Where had his cowardice brought him?
Alone, afraid, riddled with sin.
His own face, fractured, made of shards on the floor.
He felt himself too much of a coward to grasp what was available right in front of him. Was it wrong of him to want more anyway?
Would he have to fall to have the courage to grab for what he wanted?
And…..would it be so bad, in the end, if he did?
He was so afraid of the answer.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me simeon#obey me fic#my fic#simeon#angst#obey me angst#obey me mc#obey me fanfic#fanfic
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Hi! Can I please request Solomon with female!MC? Let's say they're not very close, civil/casual at most but with some distance since they don't get to spend time with each other, but MC has a crush on him. And one day they just find themselves alone together and there's some awkward tension. Aaaa I don't even know where I'm going for, lol. But you know, there's some kind of electric thingy happening. I hope that makes sense?! Hehe thanks
Honestly i dont know where i was going with this but ya know. Also you said female but honestly theres no genitals or breasts or the like mentioned so although its tagged as F its honestly more GN
Tension ( SOLOMON X F!READER )
Life in the Devildom was honestly not what you expected at all. Had someone told you that demons actually exist, and that wizards and witches were real, you would’ve laughed in their face because wow that seems… a little too far out there, Karen. Yet, here you are, besties with the Devil, speaking with Lucifer himself, and crushing on a wizard that doesn’t even know you exist. Well, he knew of your existence, but how much could that actually mean when you rarely ever talked with one another. Luke was your only way to get to the guy, and even then, you both tried to avoid him in the kitchen because no matter how much you liked Solomon, his cooking is atrocious. You’d rather drink bleach than try that again. Sadly, he’s a little too dense to realize that, although the Gods have blessed him with magic, they certainly didn’t bless him with basic cooking skills. All of that, however, doesn’t really seem to matter much when all you really want is his attention.
Unbeknownst to you, he’s quite curious about you as well. His feelings are neutral, he thinks, and if anything, he’s just more concerned with another human being in the Devildom, one who seemingly can’t defend themselves, although he has no proof of that. He’s curious on how your stay will turn out, if it even turns that is. You could always just get eaten by demons and in that scenario, he isn’t sure if he would’ve said, “I knew it!” or genuinely be upset. Maybe a bit of both? To him, he thinks, you’re just a science experiment at the moment, and he’s thinking of doubling up with Satan to see how far he could push your limits. He knew he needed to push his own limits to get somewhere, so why wouldn’t you be the same? Honestly, he thinks that humans have that in common; needing to be pushed to their limits to unlock their full potential.
But anyhow, the point is, you two can’t really form a meaningful relationship for the life of you. Even at RAD, where you have most classes together, it always seems that you’re getting dragged away, or he finds himself surrounded by succubi that would love to kiss his naked feet. Weird, but okay. The incubi are up your arse, too, so it’s not really something unusual. It’s just that it feels like the universe is.... Forcing you to be apart almost? Through really weird circumstances. “We’re still going to the spa later, right, (Y/N)?” Asmodeus pulled you out of your thoughts, twirling a strain of your hair in his fingers. You forced a soft smile, honestly not feeling it anymore, but not wanting to let him down, “‘of course.” but that’s when it happened. Complete darkness. All the lights, even the fires, inside of RAD seemingly went out. Diminished. Poof. Gone. Was this what hell was actually like and the powers of the Devildom were finally tired of Diavolo being too soft?
“(Y/N)?” You felt a hand on your arm and screamed, only for someone to laugh and you quickly figured out it was Solomon. “Solomon?” You felt around in the dark until your hand finally touched something; a coat. You breathed a sigh of relief and moved a little closer until you felt his body heat, but not his body because that’d be weird. “It’s you. What’s going on.” He’s glad the dark is covering him because the sudden touch does have him feeling some type of way, but that’s probably because he can’t see and all his other senses are going crazy. “I don’t know. I’m even more confused as to why everyone else seemed to have left. I walked around a bit and I’m not bumping into anyone, I can’t even hear anyone, except for you. My magic isn’t working either for some odd reason, so I can’t even light a candle or the like.” “You carry candles around?” Honestly it shouldn’t surprise you but you were still kind of confused by his statement; who carries candles around?
A soft laugh filled the air around you and you could’ve sworn you felt the rumble in Solomon’s chest as the sound left him, “yes, of course. You never know when you’ll need them.” But you only frowned, glaring at him although you’re not sure if you’re facing him in the dark, “so you carry candles around but no matches?” Silence. Solomon, truthfully, felt a little bit embarrassed, but he recovers quickly, “well, usually I’d just use my magic.” Another wave of silence passed and you heard Solomon shift before the sound of a chair moving across the floor could be heard and you assumed he had sat down and the silence ensued until he interrupted it, “any reason this could have happened? The Devildom is in complete darkness, not even the castle is lighting up.” You looked forward to where you’d think the window is and he’s right; not even the castle is lit up.
“Do you… do you think something happened to Lord Diavolo that is causing the Devildom to be so dark?” He snorts, silently making fun of that, “why? Because he’s the only light down here?” “Th-that’s not what I meant! I mean… he is the most powerful being down here right? So maybe, if he lost his power, even just for a moment, all of it would be gone.” Solomon hummed in thought, thinking about it but ultimately deciding against it, “no. His powers, or lack thereof, shouldn’t affect all the sources of light…” back to silence. Honestly, that was the worst part about this. The constant silence. It’s so draining and so overwhelming all at once. You knew he was right there, just an outstretched hand away, but at the same time he didn’t feel close enough, “(Y/N)...” your name falling off his lips brought you back and you looked at him, well… you looked in the direction where you thought he would be. Suddenly, a pair of hands snuck around your waist and pulled you into a seating position. You quickly figured out that this was his lap.
“Solomon…!” Your body was tense against his, although you had to admit he did feel fairly warm and theoretically speaking, you could potentially relax against him. “Hm? Oh, right. Sorry about that, I was just thinking that if everyone else disappeared, there’s nothing keeping you or I from disappearing either, and I rather keep you close to me before that happens.” His reasoning seemed fine, although that didn’t make you feel any less tense. Honestly, there was so much tension all around. It was as if he was the cause of the tension, and you were beginning to understand exactly why. You swallowed thickly, shifting in his lap a bit until you, presumably, faced him. His grip on your hips never faltered, and instead, firmed up. “Solomon I… This may sound dumb, but… can I kiss you?” A sudden rush of confidence flew through you and your hands moved to find his face, cupping it gently. You hoped he looked at you right now or this could end kind of awkward, “yes.”
He didn’t know what prompted him to agree to it but he found himself leaning up a bit, trying to find your face. His lips found something and his eyes immediately fluttered close, his lips pursing to kiss it, only to find you laughing and he immediately pulled back, thinking this was a joke, “I… I hate to break it to you but that was my eyeball.” Well now he’s laughing too. “Haha… well… take two?” You nodded, forgetting that he can’t see and leaned in, kissing his forehead on accident, “you need to lean up, too, Solomon!” He’s grinning, although you can’t see, “what if I wanted a forehead kiss? Besides… third time’s a charm, no?” Once again, you both tried, finding the corners of each other’s lips and moving in from there, smiling into the kiss. The tension seemed to lift, at least for you, and you wondered if he felt the same tension before, “see? Third time’s a charm.”
He didn’t dare pull away too far, leaning in to kiss you again, his hands sliding up your curves to get tangled in your hair and move your face just a little bit closer against his. You sat there, in his lap, kissing him for what felt like hours, and even after your lips were swollen and numb, you couldn’t help but lean in for another, and another, and another… the light never turning back on as far as you were concerned.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me scenarios#solomon x reader#shall we date solomon#solomon x mc#obey me solomon#solomon obey me#obey me solomon x reader
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Cooking with Da Masta
Pairing: Solomon x gn!reader
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
Summary: you give Solomon the cooking lessons he desperately needs
Word Count: 1.3k words
A/N: Happy birthday Solomon and sorry that this is late!! Also sorry this is garbage. I just wanted to write a little something for the handsome sorcerer ᵘʷᵘ
“(Y/n), please help him! He keeps trying to make us meals and I’m running out of excuses!” Luke cries to you, grasping your hands in his. You stare at him for a moment before turning to look at Simeon.
“He’s not wrong. His cooking is atrocious but we don’t want to be rude,” Simeon says calmly, further explaining the situation. At get-togethers, you’ve been a witness to others eating Solomon’s cooking and then being warned not to even touch the foul substance without the cook knowing. You feel bad for the cute sorcerer. He always seems so happy and proud of his cooking that no one ever wants to let him down.
“We’ve tried to offer cooking lessons but he doesn’t think he needs them! Please help us!” Luke pleads. You raise your brow at this, looking between the two angels.
“If he turned you down, what makes you think he’ll agree to cook with me?” you ask curiously, not understanding. The two males share a look before looking back at you.
“We just have a hunch,” Simeon supplies with a cool smile. You look over his shoulder to find the white-haired male walking towards your group.
“Hey, guys. Hi, (Y/n),” he greets, coming to stand next to you. “What are we talking about?” Before you or Simeon can smoothly come up with a lie or avoid the question, Luke blurts out the worst thing to possibly say right now.
“We definitely aren’t talking about your cooking or anything like that!” Yeah, Luke isn’t very good at—well, anything when he’s under pressure. You and Simeon both let out a soft sigh, hoping Solomon won’t think too much about it.
To your surprise, he starts to smile brighter than before. Awe, you really do love that smile. “Really? Well, I am a master chef after all. What dish were you talking about? How about the cake I made you last week? That was so good! I should make it again!”
“No!” Luke is quick to say before realizing his mistake. “Not by yourself, at least. I was just telling (Y/n) that I want to try one of their cakes. Why don’t you two make one together?” Wow, that was actually pretty smooth. Well, the first part wasn’t but he made up for it in the end.
“Oh,” Solomon says softly, turning to look at you, “do you want to?” You smile at the offer and nod your head, glad that their plan is going smoothly.
“Yeah, that’ll be fun!” you reply, watching his smile stretch out farther.
“I think so too. How about I walk you to your next class and we can talk about what cake we should make?” he offers, making you nod again. As you two walk off, the two angels share a knowing look with each other before they both head towards their next class.
You two decided to make two different cakes. One cake will be for Luke, Simeon, Barbatos, and Lord Diavolo to share. The other cake will be for the brothers to share. You two headed to the store after school to pick up ingredients, deciding at the store that you’ll make the first four a red velvet cake and the brothers a double-layered cake consisting of chocolate and vanilla.
When you arrive at the House of Lamentation, you get right to work. Almost instantly, you see what the problem is.
Solomon doesn’t read the instructions and just guesses how much and what to put in.
“Solomon, maybe we should look at the directions. We want it to turn out perfect, right?” you offer lightly, hoping he won’t take offense. He pauses from putting paprika into your mixing bowl, turning to look at you.
“Oh, okay,” he agrees after a moment, putting the paprika down onto the counter. You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding and grab the red velvet directions, starting to read the ingredients. Your breath hitches for a second when Solomon comes up behind you to read over your shoulder, his body so close to yours that you can feel his warmth.
“That’s what goes into a cake? Weird,” he comments after you both have finished reading the box. This makes you giggle, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. You turn around and find that he’s still very much so in your space, a pink color starting to dust his cheeks.
You sidestep him to get the milk out of the fridge. “Alright, start by adding the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in one bowl and sift it together,” you command, starting to work on your other bowl. He nods his head and does as told, his tongue sticking out a bit as he focuses on his work. You smile warmly at the sight before catching yourself and getting back to work.
You two go through everything step by step, getting the first cake in the oven in no time. “Teamwork makes the dream work,” he says playfully as you slide the cake in. You hum in agreement as you close the oven and set a timer.
“You only bake it for thirty-five to forty minutes? I always thought it would need more time to bake,” he comments as he watches you set the timer. You snort to yourself before starting to work on the next cake. This one took a little more preparation but it was overall pretty much the same process.
While the cakes were baking, you both started to work on the frosting. You two kept getting sidetracked though. It started with someone throwing a little flour at the other. You can’t remember who started it but all you know is that it meant war and you planned on finishing it.
After your flour war, which you won, by the way, you two got back to work and made the frosting. Someone, once again, started a war and it went on for a bit. By the end, you two had frosting all over yourselves and the kitchen. You two also ended up standing very close together. You make eye contact with him, feeling your heart start to race more.
His breath airs across your face from how close you two are, it smelling sweet like the frosting he’s been secretly eating. You’re probably just as sweet smelling as he is. Before you two can stop yourselves, you start leaning in towards each other. Your lips just barely ghost together when the timer goes off.
You two jump away from the other as if you’ve been caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. You quickly turn off the timer with a hot face, hurrying to get the first cake from one of the ovens. You set it down to cool before turning to face him once more.
“We need to make another batch of frosting,” you inform, seeing as how most of it is on you two. Your duo gets back to work and finishes with the second batch by the time the other cake is ready. You both take out the two layers before setting them down to cool as well. Once they’ve cooled off enough, you each take a cake to frost.
“They look so good, Solomon!” you say excitedly, looking over the cakes one last time to make sure they’re perfect.
“You look so good,” he responds immediately. You freeze where you stand, trying to let your brain process what he just said. He did say you look good, right?
You look over at him to find him staring at you with a red face. Okay, so, yeah, he said it. “Um, thank you,” you mumble, feeling your face starting to heat up. You watch him take a deep breath and take a step towards you.
He brings his hands to your cheeks as he gives you a kiss, your lips barely touching. He doesn’t kiss you long, almost immediately pulling away. “Sorry, I should have asked first,” he whispers, hands still on your cheeks.
You swallow thickly before speaking, your voice sounding shaky as you say, “I didn’t mind.” He doesn’t hesitate to kiss you again. And again. And then once more just for good measure.
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Wicked
Alfie Solomons X Reader
Enemies to Lovers!
Warnings: Large age gap.
Summary: Alfie and Y/N learn to keep face in between their loved ones but the truth soon threatens to come out. Unavoidable consequences are quick to follow.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
“At least put your guards down for me.”
“You know our love would be tragic.”
The sound of barrels rolling on the ground is all that can be heard while someone toys with the paper in front of them. There’s silence but it’s not the comfortable kind, it’s the kind that makes small beads of sweat form on Ollie’s forehead while he waits for someone to speak from the other end of the room.
Alfie stares straight ahead.
Your brother is nonchalant about the situation that’s going on, thankfully. He looks at the paper in front of him and reads it, over and over again before sliding it back to its owner on the desk. Your eyes never meet his.
It’s the meeting you dreaded. You and your brother had been called to Alfie’s office to renew the contract your father had made, it was inevitable and even though you’d spent last night on Alfie’s bed while he found ways to make the meeting go as smoothly as it was humanly possible, you find yourself to be nervous.
Jack, your older brother by a couple years, is not fond of Alfie even though he’s grown up in front of him like you did. They used to get along, you think, until Jack realised that he wanted much more than what he had and ruined anything good in his life after everyone you and him were related ended up under the very soil you walked on.
It’s a tragic story, really but not a story one would be able to make out after taking a look at you. You both look like posh high class citizens, which you are but there’s more to the person you are than what you look or act like. Alfie knows that well.
It had been going well.
You’d managed to hide the fact that you’d been waking up with the very enemy before you for the past four months, there was not one track you left that would enable them to trace things back to the two of you. It was also rather surprising, just how long it had lasted for the both of you.
And you’d fallen, slowly.
It was your fault for thinking so much about him. You knew it was inevitable, you falling for him, that morning where he had cooked you breakfast, you knew that you’d fall for the bear of a man if you didn’t end it right there and then but you didn’t have the heart to do such damage, not to him.
Anyone who knew you well would just laugh at your face if they’d heard just how gentle and kind you were with him. You were usually the one to be cruel, to dismiss any feeling and get on with business but you’d gotten carried away with him, your heart was taking the lead on something in your life for once.
Your guards were still up but they were much weaker when Alfie casted a look on you. They didn’t have the stability and power they once possessed as he worked through every little puzzle you presented to him with yourself. He was much more patient than you’d thought he’d be.
“It looks alright to me..” your brother spoke as Alfie eyed him, he’d never been fond of the young lad since he was much more careless than he should’ve been.
Your brother turned to you and you nodded before speaking. You wouldn’t tell him that you had revised the terms more than twice with Alfie before and that was why they were clean cut and done well according to your brother’s needs. You saw the surprise in Jack’s face due to how understanding Alfie was being and silently thanked him with your eyes before speaking.
“Yes, I don’t see why we need to delay the signing of the contract any further.” the words were breathier than they should’ve been but Jack was too daft to catch on anything unlike Alfie who found himself to grow hotter at the sight of you.
In the last months, he’d seen you in many scenarios but this was the most professional and uptight he’d seen you be in a while due to your brother’s presence. He’d seen you moan his name while your nails dug into his skin, sometimes you’d smile at him in your bare glory in the mornings. He recalled the times you’d play around with Cyril while waiting for the food to cook but you were far from any of those women now.
You are the enemy.
It’s impossible to miss the lines of hate and spite Jack feels towards the man in his eyes. You don’t blame him for not liking Alfie since the family and business history always complicates things. He’d never been the sharp one in the family either so you see the reasoning, although you don’t agree.
Alfie sees your attachment to your brother, him being the only alive one out of your family despite how useless he usually is. He’s not built for this business, everyone knows that but your dead family possesses way too much power for anyone to speak ill of you or your brother.
But not Alfie.
You know the rumours about him to be lies, mostly because you’ve gotten to experience his kindness in the last months and also because he’d never been that way to you. Ever since you’d known the man as a teenager girl, he’d been the only sane person around including your family in this shit hole.
You and your brother soon sign the deal and shake hands. You don’t miss the glisten in Alfie’s eyes when his hand touches yours and you thank heavens that Jack is entirely too daft to miss it. Alfie’s hand caresses your waist and your eyes widen but he lets go after a squeeze and you realise that Jack has already made his way downstairs.
“Nice job being subtle.” you speak but he senses the sarcasm. He doesn’t lean into kiss you or caress your arms like he usually does when you’re both alone. You see the glint of amusement in his eyes and he speaks.
“Jack’s one daft fuckin’ lad, yeah..” he chuckles while his voice fills the oak walls. You nod at his words but the silence is soon to follow.
“Yeah, he’s not the one for details.” you speak and your voice echoes in his mind for a while for the sole reason of missing you.
“Luv, I-” he speaks but you’re fast to cut him off, there’s a million dollar smile on your lips as he looks at you, clearly taken back but he knows you know what he’s about to say.
“I need to leave, Jack might get suspicious soon.” you say and your words are like glass, cutting through his inked skin as he nods. He knows Jack probably things you’re discussing something about business.
You know what he’s going to say, he’d said it last night in a mere whisper when he thought you were sleeping. You’d pretended not to hear it but the words had been haunting you ever since.
There’s no goodbye this time when you leave through the front door.
-----
Things tend to take a left turn when you think they’re going in the right direction. The room is filled with the kind of energy you remember would fill the walls when your father would scream at you. Cyril is hiding somewhere upstairs to get away from the shouting and the cries that leave your mouth each time you try to explain something to Alfie.
It was one of your worst traits, had always been. You’d cry when you weren’t able to express yourself clearly. Anger and frustration would peek through your eyes and the rest was a fountain of little glass pearls.
“We can’t keep-” your voice is soft and shaky and this time, he’s the one that raises his voice at you.
“Ya’ were the one, yeah, fuckin’ givin’ me the idea in the first place.” he says, his voice booms through the corridors of the large house, you feel smaller than you already are from the one end the of the room as he stands in the other.
You know he won’t hit you but the fire in his eyes is not the kind you’re used to seeing.
“I know that. I just think I’m getting-” you try to speak but he cuts you off. It’s only his voice and eyes that make you feel a tiny bit of fear. The rest of him is calm, he doesn’t seem angry or sad, he’s just confused as to why the conversation is taking place right when he was about to confess his love to you.
That’s what he’d whispered against your skin last night when he thought you were sleeping.
“Wha’ the fuck are you gettin’ love?” he asks, voice in the usual tone as he tugs at his beard.
You could say many things: you were getting tired of him, of his affection. Maybe, he thought, you were getting bored.
“Attached.” you speak, your voice is low but he hears it and feels his heart stiffen. It’s his fault for thinking that things would go well.
He then stills for a while like the ocean at sunrise. He’s calm s he stares right into your eyes, he knows now for a fact that you’re starting to have feelings. He sees the fronts you’re still able to put up, your guards are not down despite tears rolling down your cheeks.
It’s too late, he thinks. It’s too late for you to get out of this mess both of you managed to create.
“At least put your guards down for me.” he speaks, no swear words or a harsh tone this time as his voice fills your ear. The voice you were once so desperate to hear. You still are but you can’t help but feel helpless.
This is the first time in a while you’ve felt this helpless.
You try to explain yourself to yourself first, tears covering your face while you start to pace around the room. He sees you close down further and go down a hole that would be highly damaging but he watches for a second, he watches the face you show no one else but the mirror.
Your small whispers and sobs fill the room this time as Cyril comes out of one of the rooms, the animal can see the tension is no longer there but it’s something much worse.
It’s heartbreak, the one thing Alfie has so desperately tried to save you from.
“I-” you start speaking but the words escape you. Alfie’s quick on his feet as he reaches for your small form in the other side of the room. He wraps his arms around you and you feel yourself get engulfed by his embrace.
He smells of vanilla and rum.
You’re lost in time at that second as his embrace is all you can feel, it’s all you want to feel. As you slowly calm down, your hands hug him back. His soothing whispers fill your ear and he’s soon to realise that you’re trying to deal with much more outside of this situation you have with him and this argument is the last drop.
You let him take control when he sits down on the large sofa you made him buy for his living room. He pulls you into his lap and gives you another engulfing hug. It makes your heart ache, that there had been no one before Alfie to care about you, let alone care about you the way Alfie did.
His lips meet your temple and hair every now and then, he plants gentle kisses and feels your breath calm down with every soothing whisper that leaves his mouth. You soon collect yourself, the shock of being seen by someone finds your little heart and sends a wave of fear through it.
To be truly seen by someone.
You lift yourself up from his lap but his hands catch you by your forearms. You stand up right in front of his seated figure. Even though he’s sitting, you can’t help but realise just how big he is compared to you, you dismiss the thought of him on bed like you’d seen him yesterday with a shake of your head and start speaking.
Your voice is not a whisper anymore. It’s the you he knows.
“I better leave.” you speak but he doesn’t understand. He knows you need to be taken care of, in every which way and he’s willing to do that.
But he also remembers the rule.
It’s the one thing you’d asked from him and from yourself, the game was played with two souls and you were also to blame. You’d blamed him for some time, for getting so carried away with everything but you were quick to follow his drunk in love steps.
You knew you were falling in love because it was something out of a dream for you. It was intense and painful, you dreaded the times you’d see the real truth behind his eyes, that he loved you back because then it would just be a tragedy. Your heart was okay being the one in love, you could work it out on your own but his silent pleas telling you to stay told you just what you needed to know.
That he was just as mesmerised by you.
“Alfie, listen-” your words cut through his whispers, telling you to stay but he stands up right in front of you and towers above you soon after the words leave your lips.
“No, luv, you fuckin’ listen.” he says right into the room, you can hear him loud and clear while he stands just centimetres away from you, holding you by your arms.
“This, yeah, ain’t somethin’ you can just throw in the fuckin’ garbage.” he says, the voice that used to feel like pure sin now just feels like glass cutting through your skin.
He’s right. You know he is.
This the thing your mother had warned you about before she disappeared into nothing. You know she’s in hell somewhere for the things she’d done, looking up at you and cursing for just how silly you’re being, giving your heart to this man.
“We said-” you speak, trying to reason with him and you try to lift your arms but his gentle grasp prevents you and he looks right into your eyes as he speaks.
He needs you to know.
“I know what we fuckin’ said, right, I was right there, luv and I remember it clearly.” he speaks, there’s a billion emotions swimming in his blue orbs while the afternoon sun hits him in a way that makes you think he’s out of this world. He feels like it.
“Too clear for my own fuckin’ good, yeah.” he says and lets go of your arms. You can see the conflict on his face, morphing with worry every now and then.
You don’t speak for a while but watch him fight with himself, the mighty Solomons is having a mental conflict right before your eyes. There’s not much to be said, you know that. It was the one rule in a very dangerous game you proposed and you both dismissed it, now you’re deep in a hole that can either be lethal or beautiful.
You speak your mind since nothing else makes sense as he stares right at you. Your voice is shaking again. “You know our love would be tragic.”
A few tears find the corners of your eyes, you don’t let go of them because he’s watching. You want him to think you’re stronger than you are but he already knows that you’re stronger than he’ll ever fucking be. You sigh and look at the walls after the words, a thousand sobs align at your throat but you’re not letting them go.
“Ya’ didn’t think I thought of that?” he speaks, walking towards you until he’s towering above you like he usually is and you look up at his saddened face.
“We were supposed to be hating each other.” you say while staring right at his chest since it’s at your eye-level.
He is the enemy.
He’s the person you were designed to hate. Your father had made you into a business machine that functioned well but he had forgotten one thing, that you thrived on danger. Alfie was exactly what he had told you to steer clear from and now, you knew why.
It doesn’t matter that your heart soars at the thought of the man before you nor does it make sense. You know nothing is enough to create an exception when it comes to enemies, it won’t count that you’re in love or that you crave him and him only.
It doesn’t matter that he makes you happy and that he makes you laugh. It doesn’t matter that Cyril already thinks of you as his mom and Alfie’s house is decorated with the things you bought him. It doesn’t matter that no morning is good if he’s not next to you.
Because he’ll always be the enemy.
“You’re th-” you speak but he mimics the way you cut him off and holds your chin up so your eyes meet his.
“The enemy. I know, luv.” he says and you feel his hot breath against your face.
You shake your head at his words, teary eyes meet his merciful ones and you feel your guard come down, little by little. You want to curse at your damn self for being weak at the sight of him, for bowing down at every little action of kindness this man has shown you.
“We don’t get to fall in love.” you shake your head at your own words as Alfie listens. He always listens. “You and I, this isn’t how things are supposed to be.” you speak once again, eyes closed as you try to make sense of things.
Before Alfie had jumped on a chance to be with you with no strings attached to the either of you, you’d done the proper calculation of outcomes the situation would bestow upon you.
There would be heartbreak and grief in most situations. You saw versions of you not getting attached to him, this would just sail smooth and when the deed was done, you and him would go your separate ways. There were other situations. You’d leave him for being a dick or he’d leave you for being a bitch.
But he had done none of the things you knew men to be capable of doing.
He hadn’t shouted, the only time he’d touched you was with gentle hands of a simple caress. He’s kissed you hello and goodbye and bought you flowers and baked goods. He’d showered you with affection and compliments and he’d let you in.
It didn’t matter how fucked up things were, he’d still let you in.
“Tell me how this is gonna work, right, and I’ll follow every fuckin’ rule.” he speaks against your face as you find yourself to be puzzled about the whole situation, the confusion is evident in your eyes.
“That hasn’t worked well before.” you speak and he chuckles feeling victory at the fact that you’re now looking more amused than sad. You watch the lines of worry transform into something else, something much more cheerful as his blue orbs stare at you.
You want it to consume you.
The nights filled with meaningless talk, the waking up together. You want to get lost in his touch and never let go. You want to wake up next to him and spend the day in bed. You know you’ll miss him, you’ll miss all of it.
The small touches and how he whispers your name into the night. You’ll miss the way he looks at you when he knows you’re in public and the way he manages to make your heart do multiple flips.
You know you can’t let go, not just yet.
So you curse yourself and all the mistakes you had done seem like a little one as you try to conjure up the courage to ask him one thing. It’s a mistake, you know that. You already know the man is in love and so are you even though he’s the one person you were supposed to steer clear form.
You’re to blame for the things that follow.
“Why don’t you stay the night..” a small pause follows “....so we can figure this out?”
----
Tagging: @clairecrive @parkbearum @sourirez @bicevans @mollybegger-blog @97freaknik. @fuseburner @kiaoizz
a/n: I think there will be another chapter? Let me know if you guys want another one and also what you thought of this one?
Stay safe and Happy Eid!❤︎
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if anyone in this time of deep concern of his health is interested about what a worthless piece of shit Prince Philip is, here is a very brief list of 90 racist, sexist, and incredibly ignorant things the man has said in the last century:
1. "Ghastly." Prince Philip's opinion of Beijing, during a 1986 tour of China.
2. "Ghastly." Prince Philip's opinion of Stoke-on-Trent, as offered to the city's Labour MP Joan Walley at Buckingham Palace in 1997.
3. "Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf." Said to a group of deaf children standing near a Caribbean steel drum band in 2000.
4. "If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes." To 21-year-old British student Simon Kerby during a visit to China in 1986.
5. "You managed not to get eaten then?" To a British student who had trekked in Papua New Guinea, during an official visit in 1998.
6. "You can't have been here that long – you haven't got a pot belly." To a British tourist during a tour of Budapest in Hungary. 1993.
7. "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?" Asked of a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.
8. "Damn fool question!" To BBC journalist Caroline Wyatt at a banquet at the Elysée Palace after she asked Queen Elizabeth if she was enjoying her stay in Paris in 2006.
9. "It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." The Prince's verdict of a fuse box during a tour of a Scottish factory in August 1999. He later clarified his comment: "I meant to say cowboys. "I just got my cowboys and Indians mixed up."
10. "People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still drying out Windsor Castle." To survivors of the Lockerbie bombings in 1993.
11. "We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves." During a trip to Canada in 1976.
12. "A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now that everybody's got more leisure time they are complaining they are unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want." A man of the people shares insight into the recession that gripped Britain in 1981.
13. "British women can't cook." Winning the hearts of the Scottish Women's Institute in 1961.
14. "It was part of the fortunes of war. We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking 'Are you all right - are you sure you don't have a ghastly problem?' You just got on with it!" On the issue of stress counselling for servicemen in a TV documentary marking the 50th Anniversary of V-J Day in 1995.
15. "What do you gargle with – pebbles?" To Tom Jones, after the Royal Variety Performance, 1969. He added the following day: "It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs."
16. "It's a vast waste of space." Philip entertained guests in 2000 at the reception of a new £18m British Embassy in Berlin, which the Queen had just opened.
17. "There's a lot of your family in tonight." After glancing at business chief Atul Patel's name badge during a 2009 Buckingham Palace reception for 400 influential British Indians to meet the Royal couple.
18. "If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." Said to a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.
19. "You ARE a woman, aren't you?" To a woman in Kenya in 1984, after accepting a gift.
20. "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" To a wheelchair-bound Susan Edwards, and her guide dog Natalie in 2002.
21. "Get me a beer. I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!" On being offered the finest Italian wines by PM Giuliano Amato at a dinner in Rome in 2000.
22. "I would like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family." In 1967, asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union.
23. "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" In a Radio 4 interview shortly after the Dunblane shootings in 1996. He said to the interviewer off-air afterwards: "That will really set the cat among the pigeons, won't it?"
24. "Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car is it? We often see it when driving to Windsor Castle." To neighbour Elton John after hearing he had sold his Watford FC-themed Aston Martin in 2001.
25. "The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion." At the opening of City Hall in 2002.
26. "A pissometer?" The Prince sees the renames the piezometer water gauge demonstrated by Australian farmer Steve Filelti in 2000.
27. "Don't feed your rabbits pawpaw fruit – it acts as a contraceptive. Then again, it might not work on rabbits." Giving advice to a Caribbean rabbit breeder in Anguilla in 1994.
28. "You must be out of your minds." To Solomon Islanders, on being told that their population growth was 5 per cent a year, in 1982.
29. "Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant." At the 50th anniversary of the Duke of Edinburgh Awards scheme.
30. "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species." Accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991.
31. "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" In the Cayman Islands, 1994.
32. "You bloody silly fool!" To an elderly car park attendant who made the mistake of not recognising him at Cambridge University in 1997.
33. "Oh! You are the people ruining the rivers and the environment." To three young employees of a Scottish fish farm at Holyrood Palace in 1999.
34. "If you travel as much as we do you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort – provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly." To the Aircraft Research Association in 2002.
35. "The French don't know how to cook breakfast." After a breakfast of bacon, eggs, smoked salmon, kedgeree, croissants and pain au chocolat – from Gallic chef Regis Crépy – in 2002.
36. "And what exotic part of the world do you come from?" Asked in 1999 of Tory politician Lord Taylor of Warwick, whose parents are Jamaican. He replied: "Birmingham."
37. "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." On a visit to Australia in 1992, when asked if he wanted to stroke a koala bear.
38. "It doesn't look like much work goes on at this University." Overheard at Bristol University's engineering facility. It had been closed so that he and the Queen could officially open it in 2005.
39. "I wish he'd turn the microphone off!" The Prince expresses his opinion of Elton John's performance at the 73rd Royal Variety Show, 2001.
40. "Do you still throw spears at each other?" Prince Philip shocks Aboriginal leader William Brin at the Aboriginal Cultural Park in Queensland, 2002.
41. "Where's the Southern Comfort?" On being presented with a hamper of southern goods by the American ambassador in London in 1999.
42. "Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!" To parents during a visit to Fir Vale Comprehensive School in Sheffield, which had suffered poor academic reputation.
43. "Ah you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then? Ha, ha! Well done." Meeting 14-year old George Barlow, whose invited to the Queen to visit Romford, Essex, in 2003.
44. "So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs." To a 14-year-old member of a Bangladeshi youth club in 2002.
45. "You could do with losing a little bit of weight." To hopeful astronaut, 13-year-old Andrew Adams.
46. "You have mosquitoes. I have the Press." To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean in 1966.
47. "The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined." While hosts made effort to greet a state visit to Brazil, 1968.
48. "During the Blitz a lot of shops had their windows blown in and sometimes they put up notices saying, 'More open than usual.' I now declare this place more open than usual." Unveiling a plaque at the University of Hertfordshire's new Hatfield campus in November 2003.
49 . Philip: "Who are you?"
Simon Kelner: "I'm the editor-in-chief of The Independent, Sir."
Philip: "What are you doing here?"
Kelner: "You invited me."
Philip: "Well, you didn't have to come!"
An exchange at a press reception to mark the Golden Jubilee in 2002.
50. "No, I would probably end up spitting it out over everybody." Prince Philip declines the offer of some fish from Rick Stein's seafood deli in 2000.
51. "Any bloody fool can lay a wreath at the thingamy." Discussing his role in an interview with Jeremy Paxman.
52. "Holidays are curious things, aren't they? You send children to school to get them out of your hair. Then they come back and make life difficult for parents. That is why holidays are set so they are just about the limit of your endurance." At the opening of a school in 2000.
53. "People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans." In 2000.
54. "Can you tell the difference between them?" On being told by President Obama that he'd had breakfast with the leaders of the UK, China and Russia.
55. "I don't know how they are going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield." After meeting students from Brunei coming to Britain to study in 1998.
56. "Do people trip over you?" Meeting a wheelchair-bound nursing-home resident in 2002.
57. "That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?" Discussing the tartan designed for the Papal visit with then-Scottish Tory leader Annabel Goldie last year.
58. "I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." Addressing a group of industrialists in 1961.
59. "It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!" Speaking about a crocodile he shot in Gambia in 1957.
60. "Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you? You really must try better with your beard." To a young fashion designer at a Buckingham Palace in 2009.
61. "So you're responsible for the kind of crap Channel Four produces!" Speaking to then chairman of the channel, Michael Bishop, in 1962.
62. "Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practiced for a good many years." Address to the General Dental Council, quoted in Time in 1960.
63. "Tolerance is the one essential ingredient ... You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance." Advice for a successful marriage in 1997.
64. "I never see any home cooking – all I get is fancy stuff." Commiserating about the standard of Buckingham Palace cuisine in 1962.
65. "I suppose I would get in a lot of trouble if I were to melt them down." On being shown Nottingham Forest FC's trophy collection in 1999.
66. "It makes you all look like Dracula's daughters!" To pupils at Queen Anne's School in Reading, who wear blood-red uniforms, in 1998.
67. "I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing." Dismissing claims that those who sell slaughtered meat have greater moral authority than those who participate in blood sports, in 1988.
68. "Ah, so this is feminist corner then." Joining a group of female Labour MPs, who were wearing name badges reading "Ms", at a Buckingham Palace drinks party in 2000.
69. "Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don't you have a slogan: 'Kill a cat and save a bird?'" On being told of a project to protect turtle doves in Anguilla in 1965.
70. "All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury." Bemoaning the rate of British tax in 1963.
71. "It is my invariable custom to say something flattering to begin with so that I shall be excused if by any chance I put my foot in it later on." Full marks for honesty, from a speech in 1956.
72. "Why don't you go and live in a hostel to save cash?" Asked of a penniless student.
73. "In education, if in nothing else, the Scotsman knows what is best for him. Indeed, only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education." Said when he was made Chancellor of Edinburgh University in November 1953.
74. "If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested." Of his daughter, Princess Anne.
75. "They're not mating are they?" Spotting two robots bumping in to one another at the Science Museum in 2000.
76. "I must be in the only person in Britain glad to see the back of that plane." Philip did not approve of the noise Concorde made while flying over the Buckingham Palace.
77. "The only active sport, which I follow, is polo – and most of the work's done by the pony!" 1965
78. "It looks like a tart's bedroom." On seeing plans for the Duke and then Duchess of York's house at Sunninghill Park.
79. "Reichskanzler." Prince Philip used Hitler's title to address German chancellor Helmut Kohl during a speech in Hanover in 1997.
80. "We go into the red next year... I shall probably have to give up polo." Comment on US television in 1969 about the Royal Family's finances.
81. "Bugger the table plan, give me my dinner!" Showing his impatience to be fed at a dinner party in 2004.
82. "I thought it was against the law these days for a woman to solicit." Said to a woman solicitor.
83. "You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you." Said to Sir Rennie Maudslay, Keeper of the Privy Purse, in the 1970s.
84. "What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer." Response to a comment at a small-business lunch about how difficult it is in Britain to get rich.
85. "This could only happen in a technical college." On getting stuck in a lift between two floors at the Heriot Watt University, 1958.
86. "I'd much rather have stayed in the Navy, frankly." When asked what he felt about his life in 1992.
87. "It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons" On being shown "primitive" Ethiopian art in 1965.
88. "You're not wearing mink knickers, are you?" Philip charms fashion writer Serena French at a World Wildlife Fund gathering in 1993.
89. "My son...er...owns them." On being asked on a Canadian tour whether he knew the Scilly Isles.
90. "Well, that's more than you know about anything else then." Speaking, a touch condescendingly, to Michael Buerk, after being told by the BBC newsreader that he did know about the Duke of Edinburgh's Gold Awards in 2004.
#uk#united kingdom#royal#royals#prince philip#queen elizabeth#meghan markle#prince harry#corruption#racism#sexism#monarchy#seriously#what planet do you live on
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Requests | Masterlist | My MC | Other
Requests :
I write sfw or fluff, nsfw, angst, drabbles, headcanons, and fics.
I write for all characters. Platonically for Luke. Please specify the characters. If unspecified I will automatically go with the brothers, and if it says undateables or just brothers I’ll write for all in the category.
If you want a fic for 2+ x MC I’m fine with that too.
I just don’t write about piss kinks or religious kinks. It makes me uncomfortable to think about. Other than that I’m probably kinkier than you do your worst.
If you don’t state gender, I’m going for GN. Even if it’s nsfw, twosome, threesome whatever.
Specify if it’s nsfw or sfw, or I’ll automatically write it as sfw. Whether you ask for a headcanon or fic.
If you do not specify hc or fic, I’ll write it in headcanon format.
I do matchups. I may not be the best at it, but I would love to attempt it if you’re willing to let me. 💗
I’m okay with inbox spam, don’t feel like you’re bothering me if you want to have two or more requests.
Requests are always open, meaning I’ll never close them. Just send in that ask. If for some reason I have a lot of requests they’ll still be open, but it may take me time to get to it. (I really don’t think I’ll get any but hey)
Optional form in other section at the bottom. Just to get a rough idea.
Masterlist
SFW - ☁︎ | NSFW - 💕 | ANGST - ⚡️ |
I will specify if it’s a hc, matchup, fic etc next to the name. I still do not know how to link stuff on tumblr without it being giant and inconvenient, so until then I’ll just write what I’ve written, you can find under the “obey me” tag when searching my profile.
GN!MC using the brother’s horns for stupid reasons - ☁︎ HEADCANON
GN!MC using the royal’s horns for stupid reasons - ☁︎ HEADCANON
Brothers react to finding out GN!MC works in a rent-a-girlfriend business - ☁︎ HEADCANON
Brothers react to a F!VIRGIN!MC - 💕 HEADCANON
Brothers react to finding a GN!MC sleeping in their beds - ☁︎ HEADCANON
SUB!Mammon x F!Reader - 💕 FIC
DOM!Lucifer x F!Reader - 💕 FIC
BNHA AU : Brothers react to a QUIRKED!GN!MC - ☁︎ HEADCANON
Brothers react to a stressed out GN!MC - ☁︎⚡️ HEADCANON
Brothers react to GN!MC on the verge of tears but actually stubbed their toe - ☁︎ HEADCANON
Mammon, Satan, and Lucifer react to F!MC on their period - ☁︎ HEADCANON
Brothers react to F!Demigod!MC - ☁︎ HEADCANON
The boys, GN!MC, and the cat - ☁︎ HEADCANON
The cat miniseries - ☁️ BUFF CAT TAG
Brothers react to GN!MC being distant...? - ☁️ HEADCANON
Brothers react to a GN!MC that does self-harm - ⚡️☁️ HEADCANON
Brothers react to accidentally finding F!MC masturbating - 💕 HEADCANON
Simeon comforting GN!PTSD!MC - ⚡️☁️ HEADCANON
TBA
WORKING ON - based on asked first (unless a fic, let me catch up due to classes. requests are always open, though!) ->
Brothers react to GN!MC breaking up with them - ⚡️ HEADCANON
Brothers react to GN!TEASE!MC - ☁️ HEADCANON
Undateables reaction to DEMIGOD!GN!MC - ☁︎ HEADCANON
Beel x GN!MC cooking - ☁︎ FIC
Lucifer x GN!MC x Mammon - ⚡️ FIC + different endings
Solomon x F!MC where he subtly hits on MC - ☁︎ FIC
SUB!Solomon x DOM!MC - 💞 FIC
MHA!AU Izuku!MC - ☁︎ FIC
Solomon x F!MC - ⚡️ FIC + “It didn’t have to be like this” prompt
PROTECTIVE!Levi x F!MC - ☁︎
My MC profile - PERSONAL PROFILE
Domestic headcanons - ☁︎ HEADCANON
Levi x GN!Reader - 💕 FIC
My MC
I don’t really have much other than a digital sketch I did and a picrew of him, but he’s basically a spoiled bottom. He has been spoiled by his big half-brother his near entire life, and was so confused on how human functions when he came to devildom. Like he sees Solomon cooking and he’s like wow humans actually do that food doesn’t just appear?? Or we can’t just eat the freshly grown fruit from your trees?? Also surprised clothes don’t just appear and you need to SHOP because his brother just told him what to wear and bought him outfits.
Yes I’m putting MCtober stuff here too. He obviously has dyed pink stripes in his hair but he’s just like it’s 100% natural and when it fades he’s like?? My hair is disappearing? Very stupid. He was also originally being helped by Mammon but my MC was beyond help that Satan had to teach him common knowledge and he’s just like woah!! :oo so smart!! Maybe smart enough to rival my big brother!!
Made a pact with Satan (first) because it pissed off Lucifer than a dumb human made a pact with his brother. He didn’t know what a pact was and was like since you helped me I’ll help you!!
Asmodeous (second) is the only other brother to be in a pact with my MC. My MC is a big moron who didn’t know about shopping but looks extremely cute, so Asmodeous obviously played dress up with him. Eventually they got into a pact (my mc still does not understand what it exactly is) and now he spends a lot of time with him.
His sleeves are just sleeves...;; like literally they are sleeves. No shirt. It’s like whack. Inside the sleeves at the middle is a band that he puts his hands through and tightens, and the sleeves just stay upright and no one knows how that genuinely works or where he/his big brother had bought it- but he’s very fond of them.
He’s also a social media user to Asmo’s degree- he’s constantly on it and has near six phones and can use them quickly. He may be dumb about life, but he knows about deviltube and devilgram. Might make a general MC introduction post idk;;
Other
If I have anything else in the future I’ll put it here ig. Like if I’m suddenly dying or going on a trip and can’t do requests immediately. Feel free to dm me. If you are curious about a request form : (OPTIONAL)
Prompt / kink : Your request + kinks if nsfw
Type : sfw/nsfw/ + angst if you want that
Format : Fic, Drabble, headcanon, matchup etc.
Characters : Specific or general (Brothers/Undatables/ Brothers+Undateables)
Gender : Male/Female (Unspecified is automatically gender neutral)
Examples :
Could I get domestic sfw hc of the undateables?? GN please!
MC who threatens to throw the next person who bothers them out the window ?? Sfw hc! For the bros.
Could you do a Asmo x M!MC x Solomon? Maybe after a night out at the club they’re all bothered and hook up with each other? Nsfw fic!
Can I have a matchup? I’m 19/F/British and my favorite color is blue! I like reading and participating in my school drama club and some additional facts are.. you get the jist
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New Year’s Mischief || Group Chatzy
Timing: New Year’s Eve Night
Summary: Don’t trust balloons or mimes or hanyo
Warnings: Sauce
The Common was alit. There was no evidence of the chaos that had befallen the Christmas market not that long ago, although a fire engine and ambulance are parked nearby. Instead, stalls were lit up in every colour imaginable, offering hot meals and hot drinks, even the occasional alcoholic drink. Sparklers and popping toys were being sold alongside glow sticks and neon jewellery. There was even a stall run by mimes which charged you three dollars to stick your hand into a strange box which may contain prizes. This was particularly popular. Further on, there were a couple men in plain brown suits at a stall with mysterious stains on it. The men were making the most incredible balloon sculptures, more detailed than any balloon sculpture had any right to be. Beside them was a sign that read “WARNING: DO NOT POP BALLOONS”. Aunt Jolene, however, who ran the brownie stall, claimed she’d popped hers and found a check for a thousand dollars in hers. It was a beautiful, lively evening, ready to ring in the new year, as if the black ocean, eye sun, sandman and all else could be left in this one.
Nora insisted that her and Remmy had to be the first at the Mime event. Remmy may have told Nora that it wasn't a complete mime event, but Nora wasn't hearing any of it. If anyone was going to watch the silent ball drop, it was going to be Nora. As they approached the commons, Nora was craning her neck wondering if Marie-Jeanne was going to grace them with her presence. Nora was a big fan of her.
Dakota had heard about what was happening at The Common through a few people at work—excited chatter between coworkers grabbing a cup of stale coffee before returning to their desks, or their offices, or their labs. Originally, she hadn’t been planning on showing up because New Year’s Eve happened to be the busiest night of year for most people at the precinct. For Dakota, the disasters usually followed a few days after, because that’s when you found the bodies. But tonight she was feeling more adventurous than she’d had in weeks—mainly due to the fact that she was bored, but she had also never been to The Common, why not check it out? So, she showed up. There was a bit of commotion concerning someone popping a balloon and finding money, but she decided to spend a bit of cash and grab a cup of hot chocolate and watch the events unfold, much like a wallflower would do.
Ally debated the whole day as to whether to or not she would be in attendance at the ball drop. She could’ve sat in the office all night, waiting for the calls that would inevitably come in the closer that they got to midnight, or she could get dressed up and be on call at the party. Every time she decided she wasn’t going and took off her dress she remembered what Christmas alone felt like, and she sure as hell didn’t want that again. So eventually she got herself into her car and drove to The Common. Best case scenario, she made a new friend, worst case scenario she wasted a few hours. When she arrived she walked around, looking at all the activities and nervously staying far away from the mimes, especially after what Regan had told her.
After the kitchen incident with Nadia, Arthur really hadn't been planning to leave the house. But it was New Year's Eve, and whenever the mimes were out in force he couldn't entirely control the morbid curiosity to witness them. The issue he had presently was trying to get his wallet out to pay for a hot chocolate with one arm presently held in a sling and cast. "Ah shoot" he muttered as he dropped the wallet on the floor crouching down to grab it and glancing over to a lady who was also stood nearby. "Sorry- Could- Would you mind helping me?"
Being first to the ball drop hadn’t been important to Remmy, but it was to Nora, and so they’d donned their nicest clothes that weren’t packed, and had headed out before the sun was even beginning to set with Nora. They noticed her looking around for someone and raised a brow. “Who are you looking for?” they asked, casting a glance around as well, seeing if they could spot anyone they recognized as well. Wondered if Luce might show, wondered if they’d want to see her, even. They rubbed the back of their head as they walked along. “What do you wanna do first? Looks like there’s some sort of carnival game stuff. Wanna check that out?
This was the last place Kaden wanted to be. Ringing in the New Years surrounded by goddamn mimes. He was going to be at home with his dog and some wine and cheese. It was going to be simple. But no. Nor was going to steal a fucking ball from the ball drop. And he had a feeling he had to be there to either stop her or help her. He wasn’t sure which right now. Either way, he had a flask on hand. He didn’t know what he needed but he knew he needed that. When he saw Nora he waved. She could call the shots. And she was hanging out with that other hunter, Remmy. Interesting. “Hey,” he said with a nod.
"Marie-Jeanne." Nora answered without explanation. Nora cracked her neck. It hurt after so much craning. "I gotta go steal the ball before it drops. Will you be good?" Nora asked. Nora wasn't sure Remmy would want to help. Nora had met them whilst they were working security and the conversation about thieving public displays of new year bringing. Just then Kaden showed up. "Good." Nora gave him an approving nod. She thought he'd be too chicken to show up. "Step one. Don't get seen by any mimes. Step two. Steal the ball. Got it?"
Never having been very good at dealing with the unknown, the moment Solomon learned that they were warned to not pop the balloons, the ache to rip them all to bits was almost overwhelming. He was perched on a bench, his attention flicking between that stall and the one with the mimes and mystery box, trying to decide which one would be more satisfying to wreck. The fact that he was surrounded by people, something that would normally make him extremely antsy, was completely overshadowed by the need to reveal whatever those men in the suits were hiding. In what he thought was a sly manner (but probably wasn’t), Solomon sidled his way toward the balloon stand, still eyeballing the creations as they were whipped together at record speed and handed off to their buyers. As one of them passed hands from the artist to the commissioner, Solomon made a quick gesture with one hand, sending a couple thorns hurtling from his fingertips and bursting the thing right in the woman’s face. The delighted laugh was barely muffled as he relished the loud sound (which had been unexpected) and sudden burst of glittery bits of... whatever it was that exploded in her face. Which of course drew attention to him, so he quickly turned tail and slipped off to find more people with those balloons.
“Steal the...ball?” Remmy asked, blinking. They looked around again, when a familiar voice piped in. It was Kaden, the guy from the cooking class that Remmy was pretty sure was another zombie. They wondered if Morgan knew him, hadn’t she mentioned him once? They smiled, waving back. “Hey-- oh,” glanced over at Nora again. “Uh, yeah, I’ll be good. Just try not to get into too much tro--” they paused, snapped their jaw shut, “never mind. Just don’t get yourself hurt, okay?” they said, sighing and shaking their head. But they were smiling.
Connor wasn't sure how long he was going to stay, mostly for the sake of his new companion, Nico. So far she'd seemed to be a well-adjusted and friendly dog, but he didn't want to put her in a situation that would be overwhelming, so was more than ready to head home early and have a quiet night instead. “Come on, girl,” he said, scratching behind her ear as they walked. So far, so good. He headed over to the common, looking around for someone he might recognize.
The celebration of the coming year was a strange, but pleasant thing. Kevin couldn’t quite recall the last year she had seen come and go. Glamor in place, she wandered about, making her way over to the stand with the mystery box. Such an enchanting idea… even if the people running it were clearly abominations. She was never one to leave much to chance, but there was a certain appeal to the surprise. Still, this was for the people of White Crest to enjoy, she was content to simply observe… at least for the moment.
“This is Hell. I’m dead - for real this time - and I’ve gone to Hell.” Mercy had a very deep hatred for mimes. Not humans playing at being mimes, but Mimes. Of the White Crest variety. The kind that had shot her and tried - see: very nearly succeeded - in murdering Arthur. Not to mention a slew of others. So while she waited on Arthur to come back from the hot chocolate line - Mercy had opted for beer, which she sipped thoughtfully from her perch on the back of one of the Common’s benches - she took in her surroundings, noting all the strangeness (both normal and suspicious in nature) and thinking that maybe the four knives and her pistol (for which she was properly permitted thanks much) that she currently had hidden on her person might not be enough if shit went sour. Which there was a fifty-fifty chance of. The sharp pop of a balloon caught her attention, and her gaze cut across the crowd, locking on an unfamiliar face that was quickly exiting the scene. “I’d be careful popping those,” Mercy said, hopping off her bench as the stranger passed by. “Some of them might not be so… sparkly.”
Savannah would have happily been at home with a bottle of wine, but she was trying, perhaps in vain, to be a little more social. Every time she went out into the world, something unexpected seemed to happen, and not all of them were welcomed. Still, anything this event and its mimes could offer had to be better than ringing in the New Year alone, right? She spotted a few people she knew, but opted to quietly observe for a while.
Kaden sighed deeply before bringing the flask to his lips and taking a swig. He held it out in case Nora or Remmy wanted any, too. “Lead the way.” This was a mistake. “You want to help? I feel like this is a terrible idea and could probably use more hands,” he asked Remmy.
If only Marley could’ve used the excuse of working the party to come, but as it were, she wasn’t allowed in the field anyway, but she sure as hell wanted to show up to what would likely be a disastrous event. If only for the free food. People around here either loved mimes or hated them, and with hate often came fear. Donning her glasses, she strolled into the Common with hands tucked in pockets, glancing around to see who else was going to show up to this place. Kept to the fringes of the crowd for now, spotting Kaden with two others, including that nuisance bugbear who kept bothering all the cops at the precinct. Solano was on the other side, idling around as awkwardly as Marley, as if trying to blend in, and over at one of the drink stations was Dakota. Marley made a mental note to stay far away from there for now. Maybe after a few shots of tequila she’d gather up enough courage to go over to her.
Remmy looked at the flask Kaden was holding out to them, then up to his face as he asked if they wanted to help. “Oh, uh-- n-no, that’s okay. I’ll just...I mean i guess I could keep an eye out to make sure ya’ll are good, but I’d rather not.”
All at once, there was a screech of violins. The college band fell silent as the mime band began to play real music, despite the apparent lack of real instruments. Even more unnervingly, the mime lead singer's lips did not move, but they sang with the exact vocal cords of the college band singer, who was clutching at his throat in distress.
Dakota hadn’t really been paying much attention to the guy with his arm in a sling—at least not until he dropped the damned thing and she was the closest person who could help in the least bit. “Shit, yeah,” she said. Dakota did sort of feel bad for him, crouching down like that, so she kneeled and grabbed his wallet, handing it back to him. “The hell happened to you arm?”
Nora took a large swig of the flask then grabbed Kaden by the arm to pull him behind a stall. Reaching into her coat she pulled out two berets and some face paint. "We need to get in disguise. Paint up." Nora started applying copious amounts of white face paint onto her already pale face. In retrospect, she should have brought a hand mirror. Oh well, much like this year, hindsight was 2020.
Slowing his roll as he heard someone speaking to him, Solomon whipped around to look at the woman, offering his best innocent shrug. “I don’t know what you meeeaan!” he lied, snickering all the while. “What else could they possibly stuff in there, bees?” There was a pause, and he raised his eyebrows. “Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Bad for the bees, though. I gotta free them!” He sucked in an unusually energetic breath, ready to take off again in pursuit of another target, but rattled to a stop before he’d even gotten started. “... Aren!” He waved both arms when he spotted his friend just a short distance off, beckoning him over. “Aren, come help me rescue some bees!”
Connor spotted the person with who had the giant fluffy dog that he'd seen at Nell's party, although no dog in tow this time. "Hey," he greeted. "Nice to see you again." The strange noise brought his attention over to the stage and he cocked his head curiously. "Oh. That's... normal."
Ally heard the screech of violins and spun around to look at the band. When she heard the sound coming from the mime band she scrunched her eyebrows trying to comprehend how sound was coming from the mimes. The stall nearest to her was selling drinks, and although alcohol certainly wasn’t going to explain what she just saw, she suddenly felt like she needed a drink. She downed it and leaned toward the person nearest to her, “Is this like a performance piece or something?” She whispered.
Savannah spotted Marley, but she didn't want to approach her given the last encounter they'd had. Probably better to talk in a one on one environment. She saw Kaden, and a couple of people from the station, one of whom she thought she remembered was called Alejandra. "A performance piece... that's one way of putting it," Savannah said, grateful she'd already grabbed a drink. "You're new here, right?"
As the woman handed back his wallet Arthur smiled awkwardly as he stood up, "thanks, sorry- I'm not normally this much of a clutz." He took the wallet back, awkwardly trying to fish a couple of dollar bills out to pay the disgruntled looking hot chocolatier. "Oh this? I was involved in an accident-" not the total truth, but near enough all things considered. Taking the bills he finally handed them over. “Sorry again- thanks.” Catching a figure waving in his periphery Arthur grinned and waved back "Hey Sol- Bees? What bees?"
Mercy tipped an eyebrow, unable to help her own amusement. “Bees would… be preferable actually,” she said. Before she could say anything else, he was going on about freeing said bees and Mercy was… thinking her night was getting just a little bit better. This could only end in glorious chaos. But it took a slightly unexpected turn when the stranger called to someone in the crowd… and used a name had never heard anyone else use. Not in a very, very long time. “You know, Arth- Aren?” Mercy said, grabbing one of the excited stranger’s flailing limbs. “There aren’t bees…” she told him. “No bees,” she said to Arthur as he approached. Mercy took a long sip of her beer. “Not yet at least.”
Was he drunk or did Nora just pull out fucking berets and facepaint? “No. I’m not doing that. You can’t make me. I’ll just put up my hood or something.” Kaden tugged it up and hoped that was enough. After being striped for about a week, there was no way in fucking hell he was putting on any more goddamn facepaint. “This way,” he said quietly as he led the past a few crowds of people and around some tables and decorations. They reached a group of “performers.” He sure as shit wasn’t going to work to blend in. He made a gesture that he’d just go around, but it was too late. One of the mimes grabbed his arm and then made a gesture, pulling their finger across their throat. Uhhh. He looked to Nora for help.
Ally nodded in agreement with what the woman next to her said. When she asked if she was new she turned toward her. “Right, yeah, I’ve seen you around the station. I’m Ally.” She said sticking her hand out. “Do they do this every year?”
"Savannah," she introduced herself. "Yeah, I consult on cases there sometimes. I'm FBI." Apparently the White Crest Police Department was just a bunch of attractive women and one weird Sergeant. "I wouldn't know, this is my first time here. I only came to town a little over six months ago. Still long enough to no longer be surprised by these things."
“The bees in the balloons!” Solomon bleated over Mercy’s attempts to stifle him, though the wind did seem to get sucked out of his sails after another brief moment of consideration. “Fine… but I still want to see what’s in them. “Yeah, yeah, we met, uh… a long time ago. Y’know.” He gave her a shrug, beaming at Arthur as he approached. “I’m breaking stuff, d’you want to help?” He glanced at Mercy, giving her a quick once over. Any friend of Aren’s was a friend of his. “You too!”
It was the fatal error of refusing to put makeup on that caused Kaden to get grabbed and noticed by the mimes. As the mimes made a slit throat gesture to Kaden, Nora, now a true mime, made the gesture of a tear rolling down her face. Deciding she'd better do her best to help her tall friend Nora decided to speak up for Kaden. The mime sequence was intended to say "I was chasing him, and he got away, then you caught him, and now I'll kick him out." In Nora's mind, she was convinced it looked brilliant. Truly she was a mime natural but to a person who could actually perceive Nora's actions, Nora looked like a flopping dead fish. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Nora summoned an illusioned mime bear to scare the mime and pull Kaden away in that moment of shock. Nora grabbed Kaden's arm and made a run for it.
Wandering over to his old friend Arthur's brow pinched in confusion as he looked over the crowd and realised what Solomon was referencing. Balloons. Oh right. "You're breaking stuff? That tracks..." his smile grew a tad devious as he glanced at Mercy and back to Solomon. "Do you need help with that?" As if to emphasise the point he glanced at the nearby balloon stand where a black balloon was in the process of being placed in the extended hands of a middle-aged woman. It didn't take too much focus to warm the air around it just enough to make it explode, sliming the recipient's hands in lumpy hanyo.
“Nice to meet you. Do all towns have a dedicated FBI agent or is it just this one on account of the…” Ally motioned to the mimes bizarre behavior. “Alright so six months until this is normal. Great. Another drink?” She suggested. She had moved across an ocean for a new start, and the new start was fucking weird. She heard a balloon pop and glanced over, watching what looked like mayonnaise cover a woman’s hands. “That’s going on the ‘not illegal but it should be’ list.”
What a curious thing, how the music changed, seemingly stolen away from the poor child trying his best. Best not to interfere. Kevin instead busied herself, walking over to the delightful bunch of balloons. Her eyes widened as one of them suddenly popped, a delighted smile curling onto her face as she drew near the strangers at the stand. “Ah, I thought the sign said not to pop them. How strange. Do they all have that… substance inside them, do you think?”
Jared was only there to support one of the mimes in the band. He was a regular at the restaurant in town and the nymph always tried his best to mime back with enthusiasm when he was ordering. It seemed to have won him some favour when he was slipped a flier for the event in the commons, the mime silently letting him know that they were to be there. And so there he was, miming clapping along to the supposed beat of the silent band, only to swap to real clapping when the band burst into sound.
Savannah snickered. White Crest's dedicated FBI Agent. That was a funny way of looking at things. She certainly felt like that, at times. Although she was beginning to get the feeling it wouldn't last much longer. "I came for one specific case, and found several more. Missing people, cults, a ridiculously large death toll for a town this side. What could be better?" she said, playfully sarcastic. "I like the accent," Savannah said. "England, right?"
“No, I didn’t.” Mercy didn’t seem to know a lot of things these days. Not that she expected to know everything about Arthur’s life here in town. But if this guy knew him as Aren… then he was old like they were. He had to be. Mercy thought at least something like that would be worth her knowing. Her mind drifted off to places she didn’t want it to be, places that held nothing but self-doubt and bitterness, but her new acquaintances excitement pulled her out of it. “Oh, you don’t want my help…” she huffed, glancing between Arthur and his mysterious friend as she finished off her drink. “Unless you like fire. Lots of fire.” Another balloon popped, this time at Arthur’s bidding, and Mercy shook her head. “And people say I’m a bad influence…” Though the air around her hummed slightly, sounding ironically… like bees.
Kaden wasn’t sure what the hell was going to happen. Or what Nora was trying to convey in what he assumed was mime gestures. It looked like a lot of flopping around. From the looks of it, the mimes weren’t convinced. Putain de merde, this was how they died. Or became striped again. He wasn’t sure which was worse. Before any of them could reveal extra teeth or stripes under stripes, a mime bear appeared and chased the mimes. Kaden was prepared to high tail it and run the opposite direction, but the actual bugbear pulled him away. He wasn’t sure where the fuck they were running, but he kept going. Straight into Marie-Jeanne. Putain de fucking merde.
Kevin let her attention wander, humming along to the music. It was a pleasant sound, but it was being stolen. So very rude. Well, two could play at that game. A twist of her fingers was all she needed. As the mime band continued on, their music seemed to spread. It spilled out of the mystery box and echoed from the balloons, sounding almost as if it was trapped inside. As the melody went on, it grew stranger, louder, almost as though it were at odds with itself. Impossible instruments joined in, a few discordant voices joining into the mix. Now this was what a party was supposed to sound like.
Looking absolutely thrilled as Arthur joined in on the balloon-bursting fun, Solomon tut-tutted at Mercy. “Come on, it’s not often you get to cause a little mischief and not worry about repercussions. Also no, not the biggest fan of fire, but… a little seems to work just fine,” he added with a grin. Extending his hand to the woman, he figured a proper introduction was in order. “I’m Solomon, by the way. Aren and I met back in the… gods, what was it?” He glanced to Arthur, cocking his head to the side. “1700?” Then he noticed the sound around them was changing, and made a face. “The hell is that?”
Ally sipped on the next drink she was handed, feeling a little more comfortable. “Cults?” She said, perking up. In London there had been a cult that she had suspected was actually just a clan of vampires. “I’ll have to look into that. At least it’s not boring.” She said simply, glancing back down at her drink. “Yes, yes I’m from London. And you?”
Marie-Jeanne grinned at Nora and Kaden, swivelling her hips salaciously. Unfortunately, she saw what they were going to do and that was ever so unacceptable. She peeled one of the stripes off her body to reveal more stripes underneath. She'd gotten ever so many more stripes since the last time they'd met. With the stripe of questionable material, she tried to tie the pair of them up.
Witnessing all these people seeming to run a muck made Dakota truly wonder why she had moved to White Crest in the first place. Sipping her hot chocolate, she did happen to see Marley, and she promptly choked on her drink and made a bee-line in the other direction, stumbling in to someone else’s conversation. Oh, wait… She’d seen this person before. FBI agent, right? “Uh, sorry, I heard there was commotion about bees.” She looked between the FBI agent and the other person she was speaking with, whom she had not the faintest idea of a name. “Sorry to interrupt. Are you guys talking about London?” Please be a normal conversation…
"Yeah, my colleague who worked here before he passed away was an expert in cults," Savannah said, as plainly as she might when talking about the weather. "I'm from Massachusetts," she said. "I was working at the Field Office in Boston for a few years prior to moving here. I'm sure the place will leave an impression..." She turned to the newest person who'd entered the conversation, someone from the crime lab. "Yeah," she said. "You been there?" She wrinkled her face in confusion. “Bees?”
“London? No, no. I do know there’s like, a big clock. And a ferris wheel. And I’m not sure what I heard, but there was definitely someone shouting about bees…” Yeah, Dakota, that’s why you tried to make yourself look busy. “Have you?”
"Big Ben and the London Eye," Savannah said, nodding. "Yeah, I went to a few places around the UK on my Honeymoon," she answered, but was quick to lift her drink to draw attention to her empty ring finger.
Nell had come to this event for one reason, and one reason only. To ruin as much of it as she could. The mimes thought they ruled this town, holding it under the tip of their striped thumbs, but in her mind they could stand to be brought down a few pegs or more. As she finally arrived, her eyes narrowed, nose scrunching at the cursed sound the band was emitting. Without a second thought she murmured a spell under her breath, snickering as the strings of the mime band’s violins snapped to slash back across the musicians faces in a light slap. Already in a much better mood, she made her way through the crowd looking for more opportunities to soil the mimes.
Ally made a mental note to ask Savannah about her colleague, interrupted by a new person in the conversation. “I mean, bees aren’t usually out in the winter. Have you seen any?” she asked, looking around. “Oh, well, I’m from there.” Ally explained. She looked at Savannah’s empty ring finger and nodded. “Ah, sorry.” she said awkwardly, unsure what to say.
“Oh, it’s fine,” Savannah answered. “It just means I’m single.”
Remmy was instantly relieved when they spotted Nell across the way, and started making their way to her. Picked up a drink on the way and watched out of the corner of their eye as Kade and Nora went off to do their mime shenanigans. The screeching of the new violins were lost on Remmy’s ears, and they smiled brightly as they found their way over to Nell, waving. “Hey! Nell!” they called out, “I didn’t think you were gonna come. I thought you hated mimes?”
Connor was grateful that someone else he knew had shown up; someone in a similar age range. It was weird when everyone around him was in their thirties or forties. "Nell!" He called, unaware of what she had just done to upset the mimes, waving her over. "Come meet Nico!" The Golden Retriever seemed all too happy to make a new friend.
"Oh! You haven't met? Mercy this is Solomon. Solomon this is Mercy now you know one another." Arthur would've clapped, except, he couldn't so he grinned instead looking between his compatriots tonight. "Oh come on," he nudged Mercy "let's be the chaos crew." Another balloon nearby popped and a plastic necklace dropped into the hands of a pleased looking little girl.
Dakota furrowed her brow, not exactly sure what had happened with Savannah and her ex. “Damn, was the honeymoon that bad?” she joked, then drew her attention to Ally. “Sorry, I totally butted in. I’m Dakota. And I heard London is nice. Except for when you’re having bad honeymoons, apparently.”
He heard a familiar laugh and turned to spot Remmy and Nell across the way. Jared gave a small smile to his mime pal in the band, giving them a thumbs up before heading over. Overhearing Remmy’s words he frowned, however. “Hate mimes? Why?”
Savannah rolled her eyes with a snicker. "No, the honeymoon was great. The marriage was just average," she said, shrugging. "No huge angst, no broken hearts. Just better off as acquaintances these days."
Nora was ready to book it over to the ball to steal it when the most beautiful person Nora had ever seen stepped in front of them. Of course, Nora had seen this person before but that didn't make her appearance any less breathtaking. Nora skidded to a stop, not willing to brush past Marie-Jeanne. It was with rapt attention Nora watched as Marie-Jeanne took off one of her many stripes. It was with no quarrel that Noar let Marie-Jeanne wrap her in the stripe. It was with a weird sense of belonging that she thanks Marie-Jeanne for tying her up. "Thanks." Nora let out. Of course, that came with complete forgetfulness of having been pretending to be a mime. Nora looked expectantly to Kaden, expecting him to get tied up as well.
“Oh, you fucking bet I hate mimes. That’s why I came to destroy everything they love,” Nell quickly replied to Remmy, her voice bright despite the doom promised in her words. “Why are you here?” There was, without a doubt, one thing that could momentarily turn her head from her current mime mission in life, and that was one singular golden dog that was approaching with Connor. “Nico?” Nell asked excitedly, already bending to pet the pup. “Since when do you have a dog?” Then she turned to Jared, confusion and judgement plain on her features. “Jared- you know I literally despise mimes.”
After several drinks, Marley finally felt confident enough to join the group without either accidentally feeding off someone or saying something stupid or rude. She made her way over to the group of people she recognized all together-- Savannah, Ally, Dakota. Only two out of three of them would be awkward to talk to, so that was a win. In most situations, they all would be. Grabbing another spiced eggnog, Marley headed over, pausing just short when the violins began screeching, turning to glance back over at them. Disaster one, she supposed. Opting to ignore it, she leaned against the table. “If we’re all here, who’s working the lines?”
“A partner is usually more trouble than they’re worth, I’ve found. Except it would certainly lower my rent.” Ally offered. “Maybe one of those are looking for a roommate.” she joked, watching the mimes lose control of their violins. Another sip of her drink. “I’m Ally, nice to meet you.” she smiled. She was heading toward best case scenario territory. Even with the mimes and maybe bees. When Marley approached Ally smiled, glad to see someone she recognized. “I’m on call.” She said, tapping her earpiece. “I’ll have to arrest someone in a dress tonight, I’m sure of it.”
Remmy felt a tad overwhelmed as the boy from Nell’s birthday party that had wanted to pet Moose came up to them as well as Jared. Nell confirmed her hated for mimes and Remmy shrugged. “I came with Nora, she was really excited to be here. I think she’s trying to con that guy Kaden into stealing the ball for the ball drop with her,” they said, looking at the other two. “You brought your dog? Are they okay with fireworks? I heard there might be some later.”
"They are kind of weird, aren't they?" Connor said about the mimes. There was something even more unsettling about the White Crest version of mimes than the usual ones. "I adopted her right before Christmas.” He looked to Remmy. “I'm gonna leave if she gets antsy about the crowds and fireworks, and probably head away before they go off, so I can see how she is at a distance, but she's a gundog, so she might be alright."
Savannah shrugged, unaware of the situation with Marley and Dakota, and also not really caring. She was just happy Marley wasn't avoiding her. "I dunno, Keene, maybe?"
Ah so there was another witch about. How sweet. Kevin found the woman quickly, feeling the magic in the air trailing from the broken instrument to the caster in question. It was a decent spell, clever and rounded at the edges. Still, her own had already reached the music, and Kevin wasn’t particularly interested in letting others cross paths with hers. Her hand turned, hidden in her glamor. The music grew louder, horns and bells chiming in, whispers of voices in a dozen unknowable tongues joining in. All of it centered around that sweet, young caster. The musical notes began to take shape around her, turning into birds, into bubbles that popped with a scream, and all the while, the volume continued to grow.
Jared spared a bright smile for Remmy and the stranger before mumbling a soft “I hoped you’d grown out of hating mimes… We haven’t really spoken about them all that much since you got back…” He glanced back at his mime friend in the band hoping they weren’t hearing this; he’d hate to offend such a new friend like this. “They’re just trying to get along like everyone else.”
The mention of the word partner made Marley’s skin vibrate and she nodded perhaps a bit more enthusiastically than she should’ve. “Agreed. People aren’t worth the trouble,” before shooting back another chug. “Oh, right. Agatha.” She should’ve known that, Agatha had practically tripped over herself to volunteer tonight. She was a real teacher’s pet, but for whatever reason, Marley only found the trait endearing, whereas usually she hated it. She watched Dakota back away and head off, wondering if it was because of her, frowning. She glanced at Savannah, only for a moment, before turning her eyes away. “What do you think of the band? Kinda eerie, huh?”
“You’d be surprised,” Mercy said to Solomon, eyeing the stranger with even more curiosity. “Though it has been awhile I suppose.” Besides, Mercy’s brand of mischief might utterly ruin the mimes’ night. How could she resist? Especially as Arthur so eagerly introduced her and the stranger. “It’s an honor to meet you, Solomon,” she said, shaking hands. “But you can call me Freyja if you like. I’ve known Aren… well, forever really.” And that was the truth. Idly she wondered if she and Solomon had perhaps met in passing when she’d been in Maine herself in the early 1700s. Or if the man had known Arthur’s family. His children. But the dour thoughts passed easily as she was jostled by Arthur. She sighed in a pseudo-put upon fashion, smiling faintly as the little girl showed her necklace to her father. “You really want me to do this?” she asked, looking first at Arthur then at Solomon, who seemed a bit worried all of a sudden.
“Kind of weird is an understatement,” Nell replied dryly, glaring at a passing mime as if she were daring it to say, or sign something. “Steal the ball?” she asked with renewed curiosity. Surely that would be a good way to throw a wrench in the mimes’ celebration. Unfortunately Jared’s words were lost as the music swelled around her, and her skin prickled as another magic blossomed. Apparently someone wasn’t all too thrilled with her antics around the band. “I can’t hear you!” she yelled over the music towards her friends, but that didn’t matter now. If someone was upset she was messing with the band, deafening her was the wrong way to make her stop. Instead it fueled her hatred of the mimes even further, and in another moment she let her magic fly again, targeting the mime band with renewed vigor as she flipped the chairs of the first row, sending mimes tumbling.
It was her. The mime who had given him the lapdance on his birthday. The one with too many teeth and stripes under her stripes. He tried to get away, make a run for it, but she had peeled off her stripes and was tying him up. Shit. Shit fucking shit. Of course Nora was thrilled. Kaden tried to pull his hands away, but she had a vice grip on his wrist and wasn’t letting up. Even with hunter strength it was hard to pull away. He heard strange sounds coming from the center of the Common from the band, seemingly. Like someone threw something at the musicians. “Hey, uh, this was, this is great but I gotta go.”
Remmy glanced between Nell and Jared, wondering what was going on between them that someone would think Nell liked mimes. Anyone who knew Nell knew she hated them. It was strange to think she ever did or ever would like them. But then she was shouting and Remmy was glancing around anxiously. “Nell, are you okay?” they asked, reaching out for her, but she was already doing something else, and Remmy watched as the front row of the mime band was upturned. They winced. “Nell, was that--”
"Kaden's here, too," Savannah said. She knew she'd spotted him talking to a goth-looking person earlier. Speaking of the band, Savannah's head turned as the front row of the orchestra seemed to all be thrown off their chairs. "The band are... interesting, but... Oh. Well, I don't think that's part of the show."
Quickly forgetting the bizarre sound he’d heard in favor of getting up to no good, Solomon nodded enthusiastically. This wasn’t normally his brand of activity, but something about running into such an old friend had rekindled a spark in him that had been snuffed out long ago. “Well then, Freyja, yes! We do!” He scanned the crowd for another unsuspecting guest, spotting a balloon gripped in the hands of a young boy, and grinned. “It’s easy… like this!” Letting loose another small volley of thorns, Solomon’s delight quickly turned to confusion as the balloon burst and out fell… dust? What was that? “Huh,” he grunted, a little disappointed. But then the dust was on the move, balling up in clumps as it rolled along the ground, with alarming… intelligence. “Uh oh.”
There was a horrific clatter of musical instruments (including the ting of a strangely loud triangle). The mimes stopped all at once, helping their brethren to their feet. In unison, they turned to face Nell in particular, and frowned as one in perfect synchronisation, drawing a sad face onto theirs. There was a ripple of perfect silence across the crowd before the music started up again. Unbeknownst to Nell, changes were beginning to happen at the Vural household. Then they sat down, picked up new mime instruments and began to play once more.
“Single cops who spend all their time at the precinct. Aren’t we stereotypes.” Ally noticed Marley frown when Dakota disappeared and wondered if there was a story there. “Very eerie here. How do you think they’re doing it? Hidden speakers.” She said, leaning over to see if she could spot them. She noticed them get thrown off their chair. “What is happening?” she said, wondering if they should do something.
Jared whipped around to see the chairs fly and his smile vanished. “Nell what the hell! Stop that, what have they done? They haven’t done anything, stop that.” He glared at her and stomped over to help pick up the chairs. He missed the eerie stop of the music completely in his anger.
As the mimes looked to Nell in unison, she raised a single finger. A very carefully chosen finger. The most offensive finger a person could raise as she collectively flipped them the bird.
Remmy, noticing the mimes all staring at Nell, backed away slowly, taking Connor and his dog with them. “We should...go.”
Connor didn't need to be a genius (he definitely wasn't one) to figure out that Nell was the one messing with the band. He raised an eyebrow, chuckling as she gave them the finger. "Careful. I've heard they can be pretty dangerous." He nodded to Remmy. “Yeah, good idea,” he teased. “You’re on your own, Penelope.” Miriam had made him promise, after all, not to let the dog get into any dangerous situations.
Nell’s finger began to develop stripes.
Wincing, Marley took another long sip of her eggnog, watching the turmoil begin to crescendo-- pun intended. All the mimes were focusing on one single person, and Marley noticed it was the little jailbird, Nell. Chuckling, Marley relaxed little, excited to see how this might play out. She glanced over at Ally and Savannah. “Well, here’s to being single and dedicating our lives to shit like this, yeah?” she raised her glass to them both, not bothering to answer the unasked question of whether they should intervene. She wasn’t on duty, she had no obligation to act, just like with the Dullahan. Instead, she’d enjoy the show, and the free meal. She deserved it.
Oblivious to the ensuing chaos by the bandstand, Arthur watched the strange clumps of dust rolling across the floor mildly entranced by the dust bunnies. "Huuuh, weird." As if on cue another couple of balloons popped, but this time instead of their owners suffering the repercussions he heard a pop too close for comfort and felt the wet slide of something down his face; which was now covered in a stream of white mayo. "Ewwwww- I hate mayonnaise Disgusting."
Nell couldn’t deny that her first thought upon seeing her finger develop stripes was ‘chop it off.’ Thankfully, she did no such thing and made the very wise decision to raise her other middle finger, brandishing it as she stuck out her tongue to the mime band. “I have two, bitch!”
Her other finger began to develop stripes. So did her tongue.
Sam Rainsbottom grinned for a camera as he posed in front of the New Years party panorama. “Hello everyone! This is WC Student Broadcasting coming to you from the Coooomon!” Sam’s blue eyes flicked up to where the Yearbook students manning the camera switched to a new cue card. “We’d like to officially thank the Striped Club, The Quiet Place, and Your Mime and Ours, and whole Silent Thespian community for sponsoring this civic event!”
Sam looked back at chaos of stands being tipped over “shit shit” he side shuffled and made motions with his hands for the camera to pan away to some non-destruction scenes of this New Years party.
Marie-Jeanne giggled silently, tapping Nora's nose that developed some stripes of their own. She did not do the same to Kaden, holding him tightly as she pulled a balloon out of her pocket. Don't ask how she has pockets. Don't ask how a large balloon fit in the pocket. All Kaden and Nora needed to worry about was that the balloon was slowly expanding, getting ready to pop.
Mercy glanced over at the ruckus from near the ‘mime band’, but since it was actual sound being made, she didn’t pay much attention. She turned back to watch Solomon send a volley of… was it thorns??... through the air and pop another balloon. “Good shot,” Mercy grinned, squinting at the balls of dust that rolled away. “Oh… it’s just some dust bunnies. Nothing to worry about.” The air hummed with chaotic energy, the brisk chill of the evening and the sounds of the crowd - barring whatever was happening with the ‘band’ - along with the contagiousness of her companions’ mischief was quickly taking over any good sense she might’ve shown. The balloon that popped nearby only got a passing glance from the Fury, though she did grimace a little at substance that coated Arthur’s face. “Are you sure it’s mayo?” she asked, scooping a bit onto her finger to taste. “Yeah… yuck. Definitely mayo. With undertones of birb.” But… with no harm done from yet another balloon, Mercy finally handed Arthur her drink. “Those were both great shots, boys…” she said of their individual balloon-popping. “Now it’s my turn…” With that, she turned and walked off into the crowd. A brush of a hand here… a tap of a finger there… and when she returned a minute or so later, her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were bright with mischief and the effects of her power. Mercy glanced at her watch. “You wanted chaos…” It read about a minute or so til somewhere nearby a bell would toll. “You’ll get chaos…”
Nora giggled. Nora actually fully giggled as Marie-Jeanne tapped her nose. She might have actually giggled more if she'd known that her nose was now striped. It was like mime themed freckles. Her eyes followed the balloon, looking up at it. The roundness of the balloon reminded Nora that she was on a mission. "I'm sorry. I have something I need to do." Nora rolled to her side and started rolling towards the giant ball. Not very fast, to be fair. Definitely not fast enough to get away from the balloon. The balloon popped above her in a shower of rainbows. It was a beautiful effect. It was less beautiful as Nora noticed that her outfit went from the signature black to colorful rainbow.
Looking a little grossed out when the new substance appeared on Arthur’s face, Solomon only looked more aghast when Mercy tasted it. “That… could have been one hundred percent bird poop! You’re brave,” he laughed. Happy to see that she’d finally decided to join in, the leshy watched curious as she walked away, nudging Arthur gently in the side. “Cool friend you got there, Aren. She seems like fun!” His eyebrows raised again as she came back into view, and that struggle with the unknown took hold once again. “What did you do?” he gasped excitedly, eyes widening.
Tired of being unable to hear the voices of those surrounding her, and currently angered by the mimes audacity at stripe-ing her, Nell cast another bit of magic to disrupt whatever spell it was the other caster in the crowd had thrown at her. The music returned to its normal, albeit still disturbing volume, but at least she was no longer being taken over by sound. Unfortunately...there was no saving her fingers. In rebuttal, she magicked a few of the mimes into the opposite of her fingers...rendering them solemnly solid rather than striped.
Kaden tried to pull away and swore he could have made it, but it was too late. It didn’t matter. The balloon exploded and rained down color on them. Great. That was fine. Just a nice pretty balloon. And he seemed to be free to walk away. “Great. Nice seeing you again. I guess.” And while Nora rolled away, Kaden just walked around Marie-Jeanne as she blew him a kiss and headed towards the ball. He looked down briefly and noticed the color seemed to be following him. Hmm, no it was on him. He looked down at his clothes and noticed, like Nora’s they were all rainbow. He look at his hands and his fingernails were rainbow colored. With a deep dread, he sighed and leaned over to take a quick look at himself in a pane of glass nearby. He saw his hair. It, too, was rainbow colored. “Putain de merde!” he screamed. Loudly. It wasn’t Regan loud, but it was loud. He heard balloons popping in the distance. And what sounded like flesh exploding closer by. He looked to his left and black sludge was splattered across the way.
Whilst trying to help the first row of chairs up again Jared tripped. He’d never been super sure in his step when he was wearing shoes. So, as he tripped a balloon tied off to one of the nearby benches popped. In the rain of confetti Jared blinked. And then he blinked again. His entire being was striped. But it wasn’t static. He was flashing stripes that moved up and down his body as if to the beat of the remaining music from the band. He was a disco mime.
Nell's stripes began to extend down her fingers and her arms. They extended into her clothes. She would notice that, but the more sinister change, she would not notice later tonight, once she was out of these stripey clothes. She could only speak when dressed as a mime.
Solomon's statement made Arthur snicker even if he was kind of disgusted by the sentiment. "That's rank, ew." But his disgust was forgotten as Mercy wandered off into the crowd attempting to roughly track her movements but she was lost for a few and so he turned back to Solomon. "She is. Like the coolest." There was a small swell of warm pride as Mercy returned and whatever she had done he knew it was bound to be great. In for a penny in for a pound, he popped another three balloons. One of which splattered a white substance on the ground into which a young boy stepped... And got stuck. "Mummy!” the boy screamed “Mummy! Help! I'm stuck!" The second balloon popped, and a rotten banana peel fell out of the sky landing on Mercy’s head with a wet squelch.
Marie-Jeanne exploded at the sound of Kaden's yell. She would be back.
Sam listed off more town facts and corporate sponsors as the sparkler burned in his hand. His eyes briefly strayed to the sparkler ignition. Pure white and black flames poured from the sparkler, strange umbral fire and pale fluoresce weaved together in a mydriatic dance that caused an ecliptic blur across Sam’s vision when he focused on it.
How..did…how could fire? That's not how light works..right?
A cough from the camera guy brought Sam back to reality, away from questions, and unwelcome thoughts suppressed across generations. Sam grinned with a thumbs up as the mime-flame burned without a sound.
A rainbow tear slid down Nora's face as Marie-Jeanne exploded in front of them. Nora, tied up, defeated, lay there. Was there a point to stealing the ball? This was a bad end to the year.
Nora looked defeated. Which was probably for the best. They likely didn’t need to anger the mimes anymore. “Come on, let’s go back to the party or whatever you’d call this,” Kaden said as he tugged on Nora’s arm to lead them back to the center of the Common. As they made their way back to the center of the Common, he saw Nell. Covered in stripes. “Putain de merde, what the hell happened to you?” he said in between laughter. It was horrifying, sure. But it was also fucking hilarious.
The gayest bear to ever exist, covered in rainbows and stripes, followed Kaden without complaint. Not a word would come from Nora’s mourning mouth for the rest of the night. The rest of the new year was in memory of Marie-Jeanne.
An enthralling quiet descended across the crowd as the mimes began to mime out the minute long countdown. Even if you wanted to yell (with two colourful exceptions) you would barely speak louder than a whisper. On top of a tall spire, a striped black and white ball slowly descended. The silence rang like an orchestral harmony, which was a strange experience for everyone who hadn't heard loud silence before. When the clock hit midnight, the silence was loudest of all. Then the ball burst, and black sauce the hadn't been seen since the Sauce had dried up exploded over the whole common, covering many people. Those who got some in their mouths would soon come to regret it.
“What happened to me? What happened to you?” Nell cackled as she took in his rainbow stripes. But Nell certainly wasn’t about to let Kaden have the last laugh, and with another narrow of her eyes and quick spellwork, she wasted no time in hauling a metric fuck-ton of Sauce towards the hunter, pouring it over Kaden in a cursed and sticky waterfall, but purposefully leaving his rainbow hair on full display.
Snickering as the banana peel dropped on his new friend’s head, Solomon gave Arthur a nod in solidarity. Not wanting to fall behind, he made sure to get another popped balloon under his belt, but… nothing happened? He was certainly close enough to have seen it, the young man was passing right by them, balloon tucked beneath his arm when Solomon reached out and burst it with a prick of his thorned finger. Disappointed, he gave the two of them a shrug. “Guess it was a dud…?” Glancing up as a sudden hush fell over the crowd, he watched with interest as the mimes counted down silently, the ball slowly started to slide down, and then… exploded? Alarmed, he raised his arms to cover his face, sidestepping behind Arthur quickly as he could.
“Nah. Bird poops all runny. Was too thick for that.” Mercy wiped her hand on her jeans as she departed for the crowd. It wasn’t often that she used her power to such an extent, but tonight, with so much chaotic energy thrumming around them, the pull was… irresistible. Add Arthur’s gleeful encouragement - along with that of her new friend Solomon - and nothing could stop her from tipping the scales in favor of letting chaos reign supreme. She gave Arthur a warm, knowing smirk as she returned, and glanced at Solomon as the moment the bell would toll drew closer. “You’ll see…” She looked up as the little boy got stuck in the glue, but his mother got him out eventually, sans a shoe she didn’t bother to retrieve. “Eww!” she laughed, swiping the banana peel off her head… “That’s so gro-...” Mercy’s voice fell to a whisper. She frowned. She looked at her watch.
There was only silence where a bell should’ve sounded the time…
Silence that was deafening… until...
...pop… pop… pop-pop… POP
The sound of balloons.
Because in the crowd that Mercy had ducked through moments earlier, people were raising whatever they could find to the floating bits of plastic… and as the New Year began… they were popping them, one by one. Not all of them, and not everyone, but enough.
Mercy wasn’t sure what was happening. Only that she was covered in…. glitter. So much glitter… but it could've been worse. So much worse. So in true Fury fashion, she embraced the chaos she’d helped create… and laughed.
The echo of pops broke the otherwise eerie silence and Arthur didn't even bother to stifle his chuckle. "No no no!" he protested as Solomon tried to hide, grabbing his friends arm and scuffling to get behind him instead... Right as a balloon popped over his head and covered him in glitter. Well, that was the weirdest New Year’s he’d ever experienced.
Even the camera footage has been tainted with the Sauce as Sam and his camera crew tried the playback function on soggy recording device. Everything just played back in black and white without any sound, like an old silent film.
Sam tried to give an updated new report on what happened for the Camera after trying to wipe black goo from his hair and gag it off his tongue. But he couldn’t speak. Sam raised his voice and even shouted until he was red in the face, but not even a rasping sound left his throat.
Eventually the sauce-sodden student was reduced to forlornly scribbling on the cue card with markers and holding them up to the camera.
HAPPY NEW YEAR WHITE CREST
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
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Time Travel Sucks
Chapter 2- How Could Someone Be So Bad At Something
Warnings for blood.
~~~
You decide to message Barbatos, figuring that if anyone would know about time bullshit it’d be him.
“Barbatos, can you meet me in front of RAD?”
“Of course.”
You hurry off to RAD, ignoring the brothers' questions behind you.
“Barbatos!”
“So what did you wish to talk to me about?”
“You know about time and time travel, right?”
“I should hope so.” He laughs.
“Great.” You pull out the watch. “Do you know about this?”
He hums as he looks it over. “It has a powerful enchantment on it. How did you get this?”
“Mammon gave it to me. The morning he did the chandelier over there fell on him, and I pushed the button and it was this morning again. I clicked the button earlier but nothing happened.”
“So was it just that one loop?”
“No, there was one between now and the first one where Mammon didn’t get crushed but something happened to Levi and the watch started glowing and then it was this morning again.”
He nods. “It seems there’s something stopping it from being used whenever, just under specific situations.”
“Yo! Human!” Mammon runs up to you. “Why’d you leave like that?”
“I needed to talk to-” Groan, crash. The chandelier falls. “Barbatos.”
“Mammon I must ask, where’d you find this watch?”
“From a street vendor, why do you wanna know?”
“Well, I’ll look into the enchantment after cleaning up the chandelier.”
You turn around to see Levi muttering angrily.
“Hey!” You call. “What are you planning on doing at lunch?”
“Uh… eating?”
“Do you wanna eat together?”
He perks up. “Are you sure you want to eat with me?”
“Of course!”
“Oh no! No no no!” Mammon says. “You can’t do that.”
“Why not?” You look Mammon dead in the eyes.
“I- y- w- h-” He stammers. “You can’t!”
“Yeah, let’s meet outside the cafeteria!”
“Great!”
You all go to your respective classes, you think about what could’ve taken down Levi. Did they cancel his favorite anime or something?
It isn’t until you see him and Solomon outside the cafeteria do you start to understand.
“Hey Levi, I made something for you.” He holds up a container of cookies. They look just like the ones from an anime you and Levi watched.
“Oh…” He looks at the tupperware in his hands. No one can bring themselves to tell Solomon how much his cooking sucks, and you don’t suppose that Levi would be the one to work up the nerve. “Thanks.”
“Why don’t you try one?” He starts to open it when you decide it’s time to intervene.
“Hey Levi, ready to go?”
“Are you two planning on going somewhere?”
“Yeah, we were planning on going to the library and studying some.”
“Alright, would you like a cookie?”
“Oh I’d love one but we really should get going. We’ll take them with us and eat them while we study.” You give him the best phony smile you can muster, hoping he won’t suspect anything.
“Alright, have a good time.” He hands you the container and walks away. You can’t help but notice him winking at you. He’s spending too much time with Asmo.
“Are you really planning on eating that?” Levi asks as you walk down the hall.
“Hell no.” You dump it into the first trash can you guys go past. Whatever is in there that can take down a demon, you reason with yourself, it would definitely kill you.
“So why did you want to have lunch with me?”
You wonder how to go about this. “Well, there’s this new anime coming out today, right?”
“Oh, are you talking about My Friend Got Me A Gift And Now I Have To Save Everyone?”
“Right.”
“Oh I love that one. I read the manga and it was amazing. I’m not going to spoil anything but it’s really good. You should read it. Reading the manga always feels different then watching the adaptation. I-”
“Levi,” You feel bad for interrupting him but if you didn’t do anything then you’d get nowhere fast. “I’m living out the plot of an anime.” Or maybe manga would be more appropriate?
“What? What do you mean?”
You think about how to phrase it, watching some demons throwing around frisbees. The Devildom have some big differences to human world frisbees which are that they have spikes around the circumference and are made out of some sort of stone, which is one of the reasons why you don’t play frisbee with Cerberus.
You’re about to say something as one of the demons throws a frisbee. You watch it fly and it’s headed towards…
You spot Luke standing by the corner, back turned to the disc. It spins as it heads towards his head. You barely think for a moment before you take off running, racing against the frisbee. You do enjoy your time here, but if they were like human world frisbees then you wouldn’t have to worry. It’d feel like a small smack at worst. But no, because nothing is fun unless someone might die.
You grab him just in time as the disc flies past you two, covering his head to prevent damage. Your hands skid across the concrete, tearing up some skin. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that he’s safe.
“Are you alright, Luke?” You ask as you two get up.
“Yeah, thank you I…” He trails off as his eyes land on something behind you. He lets out a horrified scream and runs past you.
Looking back, you see what it was. And it was…
Simeon stands there, the disc lodged in his chest. He stares wide-eyed at it. Blood stains his pitch white clothes and drips onto the sidewalk below.
“Simeon!” Luke wails.
“D… don’t worry ab… about me, Luke.” He stumbles, his legs beginning to give out beneath his weight.
Levi joins you two in staring at Simeon as he lay there, though he quickly snaps out of his shock and rushes to his side.
You don’t wait to see what happens, grabbing the warm glowing watch and clicking it open.
You stumble and fall out of your bed. It takes you a second to readjust, but when you do you set off.
“Alright, first the chandelier, then Solomon’s cookies, then the frisbee.” You run over the events to yourself. “Alright, one more try.”
You run out of your room and past Mammon.
“Oi! Human!”
You slow down and look at him.
“What’s got you in such a hurry?”
You wonder if you should tell him. Would he even believe you if you did?
“Well, whatever. I have something for you.”
“Is it this?” You hold up the watch.
“Yeah, how’d you get that?”
You start to say something when you’re interrupted by Lucifer, telling you you’ll be late.
Mammon walks next to you, and Levi joins you two.
“Hey Levi.” You greet him.
“Hey.” He says. “Oh! There’s this new anime coming out today, do you want to watch it with me when we get back?”
“I’d love to.” You say smiling.
“Great!”
When you get to the entrance, you stop walking. The other two quickly notice and stop with you.
“What are ya’ doin’?” Mammon asks.
“Just waiting.”
“For what?” Levi asks this time.
After a moment, the chandelier drops. With a satisfied nod you start walking again.
“What the-?!” Mammon says.
“Did you know that was going to happen? How?!”
You hum, thinking about how to phrase it.
“Let’s talk about it at lunch.” With that cryptic note you walk to class.
You’re anxious all of class, worried about how you’re going to go about this. When the lunch bell rings you let out a sigh of relief and head to the cafeteria. When you get there you see both Levi and Mammon. There’s also Solomon, harassing them with his cookies.
“Hey guys!”
“Oh hello, I was just offering Levi some cookies. They’re from an anime he likes.”
“Well, actually we’re busy right now. We have to go, but we’ll take them and eat them there.” He hands you the cookies and you flash your most convincing smile. “See you later!” The three of you turn and run down to where you saw Luke and Simeon.
“So what’s happenin’?” Mammon asks.
“Give me a second.” You drop the cookies in a nearby trash can, seeing the angel. You see the demon throwing the frisbee and you pick up the pace. As you grab Luke you reach out your arm and grab Simeon as well. The frisbee flies past all of you, just grazing your back. You try your best to keep them from hitting their heads, tearing up your skin again.
“Sorry!” The demon who threw it yells.
“Are you guys alright?”
“I think we should be asking you that.” Simeon says as he sits up.
“Yeah. And, thank you!” Luke smiles.
“Hey!” Mammon and Levi run up behind you. “What just happened?”
“Your hands!” As the adrenaline wears down they begin to sting.
You decide to explain what happened while they work on bandaging your hands.
“So that street vendor was right! You should be thankin’ me, human!”
“Shouldn’t you be the one thanking them? They did save your life.” Levi says.
“Yeah, in fact you were the first to die.” Luke says.
“Whatever!”
“It doesn’t matter right now. I just hope that’s the end of this.” You sigh, flexing your hands.
“There’s nothing we can do but hope.” Simeon says.
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A profile of my Obey Me OC, Shoshi! (Pronounced like Yoshi)
Picrew 1 Picrew 2
Name: Shoshi (short for Shoshana)
Age: 27
Pronouns: She/They
Sexuality: Bi
Height: 5′6″
Background: raised Jewish, got into Jewish Mysticism as an adult, began worshiping Lilith, and has Lilith's sigil tattooed beneath her bellybutton. She feels VERY awkward about it in the House of Lamentation.
Random HC: Namaah exists at RAD and is a totally hottie BAMF that Shoshi has a Huge Gay Crush on, to the point she can't really form cohesive thoughts around her, a fact that Satan and Asmodeus love to team up and exploit for the LOLs.
Summary: Horny-For-Yall Death-Wish with Crippling Anxiety. Copes with humor and memes. The ultimate self-insert.
Relationships with the brothers:
Lucifer:
- Shoshi and Lucy have a very complex relationship, she both admires and is intimidated by the eldest.
- Shoshi is a huge brat and it gets her in trouble a LOT with Lucifer. He goes easy on her though, which is good because her anxiety skyrockets when this man get That Look™️ when anyone is acting up.
- When Lucifer tried to intimidate her at Diavolo's weekend retreat while dancing, Shoshi straight up cussed him out and stormed off to the balcony to angry cry.
- Eventually had an argument so heated she wasn't sure if she was about to be murdered or have the best sex of her life.
- it was the latter
- they started casually dating after that, and Shoshi would often stay up late with Lucifer to keep him company while he does paperwork.
- Lucifer is very protective of her, and often walks her to each of her classes, a hand on her lower back. This draws many stares from the other students and becomes harder for her to make friends outside of the HoL.
- HC that Lucifer teaches one of her classes and she can NOT pay attention which earns her lots of after class "punishments"
- listen up, Morningstar
- "What did you just call me?"
- ::books it at high velocity towards wherever Diavolo is::
Mammon:
- Shoshi is his Ride or Die (Ride AND die more like) best friend.
- will destroy anyone who talks crap on the 2nd eldest.
- maybe a tiny human but WILL throw hands for his honor
- always ends in Mammon having to save her which is counterintuitive
- they share one (1) braincell when they are together and it's full of the literal worst ideas.
- snuggle buddies, Mammon won't admit he likes her out loud but will end up in her room Every Night that Lucifer hasn't already sanctioned her time.
- Jealous of her relationships with every other brother, but will tolerated a three way spoon with Beel since he's a walking teddy bear.
- "after this hare brained scheme we will have enough money to buy you a bigger bed"
- they never do
- invented a silent eye contact language for when Lucifer is lecturing them for hours about how irresponsible they have been.
Leviathan
-Leviachan! ::Jump hugs him::
-"Shoshi!! You can't just hug me without warning!"
-Levi is always having a heart attack around Shoshi either because she's flirting with him or she's absolutely crushing him at video games
-Shoshi would literally die for this boy, is absolutely in love with this Otaku king.
-she thinks it is unrequited until one night she's crushing him too hard at Mario Kart and he finds ways to... Distract her.
-Shoshi will protect Levi at all costs and he REALLY doesn't need her to, why does this human think she can take on everyone she's so bad at fighting.
-what that tail do?
-"please stop asking me that"
Satan
-fast burn enemies to lovers
-Satan does not appriciate Shoshi's humor, as it relates to him.
-"Shosh, do you want to study together tonight?"
-Not Today, Satan
-"Shoshi I brought you your homework"
-Hail Satan!
-Turns into her closest confidant
-lots of book reading, philosophical conversations, and wine nights
-Got Satan to join her in her morning yoga rituals to help with his wrath problem
-Loves going on dates with Satan, he's so upfront and honest, though not as affectionate as she would like
-she respects his personal space
-he lectures her on her "death wish" for all the times she says "fight me" unless it's to Lucifer then he buys her a new book or hands her a kitten he happened to have on hand.
-cat memes back and forth 24/7
-Her actual "first demon" 😉
-"You little brat" (that is a threat)
-she loves it
Asmodeus
- gossip girls
- weekly bath night, bubble bath, face masks, painting each other's nails
- Asmo gives her all the latest DevilDom gossip, and even when it's about people she doesn't know at all she will still chug that tea
- casual nakedness, don't pop into one of their hangouts if you're not ready for an eyeful
- Satan learned that the hard way
- Beel also did, but didn't mind as much
- has to literally put a ward on the door to keep Mammon from busting into Asmos room and dragging Shoshi out
- "no older brothers allowed" sign on the door.
- sneaks out to go clubbing, Shoshi doesn't drink much but she LOVES to dance
- "describe Lucifers abs to me, do not leave out any details"
- ASmo No! i don't want to die over some glorious abs!
- "excuse you, what would be a better way to die than that??"
- also has a secret language for when Lucifer lectures them, but it involves mostly puppy dog eyes and trying to guilt Lucifer into forgiving them
- has never worked once
Beel
- the most dramatic friendship 180 in the history of the DevilDom
- Shoshi thought he was an anger issues Jock who punches walls and threatens to eat her
- Well cannibal serial killers have stated on record that humans with tattoos don't taste that good so you probably shouldn't eat me
- can't believe that worked
- staying in his room after the kitchen incident and cuddling with him in bed, talking about the loss of their sisters, and how important family was, she realizes he was a soft boi that needed protected
- that night beel became her second demon 😉
- Shoshi loves cooking, so they cook together a lot, helping each other when they're in charge of meals
- Shoshi starts a vegetable and fruit garden outside the house of lamentation, teaching Beel how to grow food, which he takes to very well (after a few casualties of fully eaten tomato plants)
- this significantly helps the fridge situation at HoL, which all are grateful for
- the fridge checks, while occaisionally sexy, mostly actually involve Shoshi jumping at Beel to see if he will catch her (Brooklyn 99 gag style)
- "Beels what's your T-Shirt made of? Cause it feels like husband material"
- "oh, I think it's a demon cotton blend"
- I love you, my sweet Himbo.
Belphie
-Belphi take me to Majolish
-"No, I'm tired."
-Remember that one time you literally killed me
-"okay I'll be there in 5"
-Shoshi is the only one who could possibly out nap Belphie
-Beel/Belphie/ Shoshi cuddle puddles and snack nights.
-rarely hangs out with him alone because he did, in fact, murder her once
-They leave each other super soft pillows without notes or any context and it has turned into a rivalry to find the BEST pillow. Winner gets bragging and napping rights.
BONUS:
Diavolo
- You're my Dad! Boogie woogie woogie
- teaches him all the latest memes and dances
- No fear for this man, which disturbs and upsets pretty much everyone.
- one time Lucifer asked Shoshi to Please Stop asking the Prince of Demons for piggy back rides
- Shoshi told on Lucifer and in fact got MORE piggy back rides.
- They have Lucifer Imitation contests where they just say "Don't Dissapoint Diavolo" back and forth till one of them cracks up.
- Did not anticipate any sexy business with this Goliath Friend, but caught Luci and him smooching one time and one thing lead to another...
- Did not change their friendship at all, the Two Most Immature People In The Entire DevilDom
Solomon
- ::stranger danger siren goes off::
- I don't trust you Wizard boy
- Asmo said you can have a little rights, but you're on thin fucking Ice mister
- oh you got 72 demons? It'd be cooler if they were cats and dogs.
- only teams up with him for kareoke nights and other human themed activities because no one else understands
Things Shoshi has said without context:
"Why does everyone in this house have bigger titties than me"
"Lucifer took his gloves off and I almost passed out"
"I'm from the United States of America in the year of our Lord 2020, you can not scare me"
"It really do be YEET or be YEETED in this house, huh?"
"Mammon if you even look at that cat wrong I will round house kick you into the next century and claim my rightful place as second oldest"
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I've continued my Obey Me! journey and I have new thoughts
It's been about a week from my "obey me! first impressions" post and while no one cares, I feel like I need to do a follow up or my head will explode. College came for me before I got up to date on the story (I'm currently on task 15-1, may the lord have mercy on my soul) but I've gotten plenty of spoilers because I'm impatient, so if you haven't played the game til, maybe skip this post? You've been warned.
Last time I started in mechanics, and for the most of it my opinion is the same. I've gotten used to the slow-ness by now and figured I'd just have to make do, but thank you very much to everyone who helped me with leveling up and how to make the most of what I have.
Story wise, the plot holes are endless, but it's mostly an otome thing I guess. They are all in school? Who is teaching those classes? Aren't they supposed to have graduated by now? Will they ever? Why were the angels and Solomon there before us? Are we like frozen in time in the human world or have we just gone missing there?
I decided that in order to just enjoy the game for what it is, I'll ignore these but it does bother me. You can find a lot of posts and theories here on tumblr on the topic and they discuss this way better than I could, so I'll just end it here: it's not a very consistent game, but if you don't think too hard about it you'll be fine.
On the part you probably are here for: the boys
I'll go in order, same as before
Luficer is... a lot. On my last post I talked about how his controlling nature and the kinky-dark-Jumin-Han-fanfic vibes I got from him kinda made him too scary for me. After playing some more I find myself to be a bit torn. On one hand, Lucifer seems like a very interesting LI to romance, he is sexy, yes, but he feels very lonely and vulnerable. The fact that he is the Avatar Of Pride, the eldest and most powerful is very attractive, again, in the same way Ikemen's Nobunaga is. A man who makes hard decisions in order to protect what is most important to him, who needs to be in control, who has a hard time opening up and does not feel like he is quite deserving of being happy. But on the other... I don't feel like Lucifer could ever come to respect us, which is a problem I too have with Nobunaga, although to a lesser degree. I always get this feeling that Lucifer loves us like a pet (maybe you're into that, I'm not really the pet-kink kind). Yes, he cares deeply for us but when it comes down to it he does not see us as equals. Our relation is not one of a partnership. At least not in his eyes. And why should he view it as a partnership? We are human, a non-magical human and he is an almighty demon lord. We are not the same. I was happy to ignore all this overthinking but it becomes unbearable at the two instances when he gets mad at us and lashes out. The way he speaks, the way he acts... absolutely unacceptable. You don't get to threaten me, talk down to me, nearly kill me and then say you respect me because you don't and I have yet to see a moment where he truly does show disgust for treating us like that or guarantees that it won't happen again. So what? You can't take talk back? Fuck you. Speaking of which, apparently he is the only one we get to fuck? I'm not sure if I want to. I mean, sure, I like some possessive dirty talk as much as the next gal and Lucifer is gorgeous, but I don't think my pride will allow me to bed him. Honestly I might just friendzone him for no reason other than to wound his pride at that. Yes bitch, get some fucking blue balls, you ain't getting any. Unless... well, you have 5 tasks to convince me you've earned it. Hop to it, Lucy.
Now that that's out of the way, Mammon:
I'm in love with this idiot.
Out of all the boys this is the one that most surprised me because while I did think he would grow more and more on me I did not see him being this important to me. I initially though of Mammon as the 707 of Obey Me, the one who is always in love with you in every route (don't get me started on this, I will be sobbing eventually), and in a way he is. But here's the twist: in MM, I'm not really a big Seven stan. I love Seven platonically and I thought that would be the case for Mammon as well. I was wrong. Maybe it's because Lucifer pissed me off so badly or because we didn't spend nearly as much time with Satan as we should (more on this later) but Mammon really caught my eye. I didn't think he was that cute, but I got one of his SSRs and use it quite often, so I started getting lots of Surprise Guest moments with him, and he just looks so beautiful in those? When the hearts appear and he looks at me with that soft expression jdhdbdndkdjd. He is just so sweet overall? He feels so genuine and human and real (in a way you don't really get with Seven until you're a few days into his route, when it was a bit late for me to love him as more than a friend). Mammon loves you for who you are, and while he does talk down to us, you can always tell he does not truly mean it. I can't think of an instance when he came even close physically threatening us and I don't think he would be able to. It makes me feel very very safe and warm and happy. Which is what love should always feel like: Love should feel restful. And maybe I'm thinking too much about this. It's just a game. But it doesn't make it any less true. I'm definitely kissing this man.
About Levi, not much. He still annoys me. I can kinda see the appeal for other people, but still a no-go for me. I'm not a fan of his personality or looks, I already said my piece on him.
So, Satan. I still absolutely adore Satan. He is the cutest and my go-to guy, but... his arc was kind of short I guess? We don't spend that much time with him so far (at least I don't think so) and the whole going on a rampage thing is a turn off (as explained above). But with Satan I cannot truly resent him, for one, he is the Avatar of Wrath, so is not like I didn't sign up for this. I can feel he does feel bad and conflicted about it so I did let it slide. But I can see some red flags? Like, I've got his Be You card and read the story and it just... kinda paints him in a bad light? Yes, babe, you've got a temper, I know but... idk man. Satan feels very caring and mischievous (again, the soft dom energy here man) but I don't feel as safe as I feel with Mammon. Maybe given due time I'll feel better. Still, he is one of my bias, lil blonde book bitch, I wanna get to know you better, let's make out.
If we don't spend enough time with Satan, we spend no time with Asmo. In my other post you can read me projecting all my hopes and past trauma on Asmo's character but so far, that's kind of all I've got. I don't have enough data or character development to have a real opinion on him, but if we do get routes I look forward to doing his. No kisses for now, sorry babe.
On Beel: Y'all commented about how he would turn out to be a complete sweetheart and I did not believe you. I should have. This man is so adorable. I'm vey romantically attracted to him and will do his route if I can, but the thirst is just... not here? Like please, lets hug and hold hands but I do not want to kiss you. He's a great guy, just not the guy for me? He does beat Lucifer though. He gives me safe vibes but, like, friend vibes. The one friend that you work out with, is your plus one when you're single and takes care of you when you're sad? That vibe. I don't think he would be very into me either. I'm a picky eater, grudge holder, horrible cook and overall bitchy gal. We're better off as friends.
Belphegor. He can choke. I haven't gotten to it yet, but I know he is gonna kill me. Human-hater, lying ungrateful bitch. He's hot, yes. Have I read smut with him? Yes. Would I fuck him? Yes. But in, like, a hate-sex kinda thing I guess. You've got 5 tasks to kill me and then convince me that somehow you are not the worst. Things aren't really looking up for this sleepy boi.
Also, does anyone know if it impacts in any way if you kiss (or I guess fuck on Lucifer's case) more than one boy? Like, will they be mad? Because I've got some impossible choices if it does matter. I'll report again once I'm done with the tasks, I guess?
Peace, my dudes
#obey me#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#shall we date#otome games#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me beelzebub#obey me beel#obey me belphegor#ikesen nobunaga#707 mysme
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