#Press Play 😼😼
Text
call me soon — jjk
Jungkook finds himself obsessing over you a bit too much than he'd like to admit, but you two get a chance to see more of each other during a hot summer night where you both are lonely, desperate and horny.
☾ pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
☾ genre: strangers to fwb to lovers, summer break au, university au, smut
☾ word count: 5.9k
☾ warnings: alcohol consumption, mention of driving under the influence of alcohol (jk had one beer okay 🙄 no car crash lol), hello tae and oh — jimin?, hurt and comfort 🧐, mentions of masturbation (m), dry humping, clit stimulation, tits play, praising, unprotected sex & oral sex, blowjob, cum eating, cum play, multiple orgasms, brief overstimulation.
a.n.: i tried something and i think i like it 😼 put y'all seatbelts on because this is the best smut i've ever written 🫡
*no taglist!!
Jungkook knits his eyebrows together, deeply lost in his thoughts. At this point, the music blasting through the house doesn't make his body shake anymore, it doesn't make his heart beat faster nor does it make adrenaline rush through his veins.
He feels the vibrations under his feet, though. It's intense, but not enough to distract him. The pad of his index finger mindlessly circles the neck of the beer bottle he's holding, his other hand shoved in the pocket of his baggy jeans.
His friend's elbow sometimes nudges him in the ribs because of how animated he is when talking, but he doesn't make Jungkook turn his head nonetheless. He hears him laugh and curse while he looks away, gaze lost in the crowd of people, eyes shifting between all the faces without a thought about them.
He's too busy thinking about yesterday, that cursed night where he just wanted to fill up his gas tank and unluckily fell upon you at the gas station.
He thinks he never looked at his phone so many times in a day before, never thought a stupid call would turn him crazy, obsessively scrolling through his contact list to find your name.
Every time the day ended, he worried that maybe you had deleted his number, but your name has always been there. A part of him hoped you would have deleted him from your phone. It would have explained why you never called and then perhaps he would have felt less crazy.
But no. You just didn't bother pressing on his name and sticking your cellphone to your ear, waiting for him to pick up as you listened to his ringtone.
And that's quite a bit worse than being erased from your contact list because that means you just didn't think about him. Not once were your thoughts about Jungkook.
He could be wrong, but he prefers to torture himself.
Anyway, it's not like you were much bothered by the fact that you totally ghosted him back at the convenience store. 'I forgot', how horrible that sounds?
But then, all he wanted to do at this moment was to forgive you, tell you that it doesn't matter, that he doesn't really care, that it's no biggie. He can't blame you and that's so fucking stupid because all he did was eat you out.
Yet he finds himself thinking about you more than he'd like to. He even jerked himself off to you, playing back in his head the moment you were whimpering his name and pulling on his hair, clenching your thighs around him. He's not super proud of that — kind of cringes him a little bit when he thinks about it — but he got really hard imagining your pussy leaking down his knuckles.
You were a good hook-up and yes, he thought it could happen again. He hoped you two would do it a second time, maybe a third — how many you'd like to.
He likes sex and his obsession for you started because of that, but he would lie if he said hanging out with you like friends doesn't sound good to him. It sounds so fucking... nice.
In the end, he knows you two as friends wouldn't work. He works for your dad to pay his scholarship that is incredibly expensive even for a public university.
You, you don't need that. You don't need to work, don't have to lift a finger. You're treated like a princess — have the life of a princess — and you might even think of yourself as a princess too. Fuck him for liking it. Fuck him for fantasizing about possibly being your knight.
"This party fucking sucks."
Jungkook's eyes finally focus on something else than the void, laying on his best friend Taehyung. He doesn't know where he comes from, he only remembers him leaving the kitchen area when everyone was in the depth of a conversation.
"Why's that?" He asks instead of agreeing, knowing he can't really complain when he hasn't been in the mood to party at all.
Taehyung leans his back against the counter beside Jungkook, taking a sip of his soon empty beer bottle. "It just fucking sucks," he shrugs, a scowl on his face as if it's a justifiable reason. It might be because Taehyung's not so difficult to entertain.
It might be because of something else, Jungkook believes, though he doesn't have the heart to ask. He'll do it another time when he won't smell like rejection and when his head won't be filled with a woman's giggles who's out of his league.
So he only hums in agreement, silence installing between him and Taehyung.
A couple of minutes pass, Taehyung has opened another bottle and Jungkook is still quiet. Usually, he doesn't mind slipping in conversations, sharing his own perspective of things. He rarely says no to games, bringing his competitive ass over and crushing everyone's chances of winning.
Today isn't usual, that's why it fucking sucks.
"I'm gonna go get some fresh air," Jungkook says to Taehyung and this one nods.
"I'll probably head home soon anyway."
"Be sure to take an Uber."
"Of course, you know me," he chuckles, waving Jungkook goodbye.
His friend does the same, a slight smile painted on his face as he walks to the front door, opening it and stepping out of the house.
His eyes get used to the darkness as he closes the door behind him. He notices someone sitting on the stairs, typing quickly on the keyboard of their cellphone. He approaches the figure, hearing them sniffing as if they've been crying.
They suddenly drop their phone, muttering a 'fuck' as the device lays on the ground. Jungkook decides to go reach for it so he walks down the stairs and bends to catch it, turning around to hand it to the owner.
"Here." He looks at the person's face and his heart jumps in his chest when he recognizes you. He doesn't know where to look for a second, his eyes shifting down to the screen of your phone.
He catches a glimpse of a conversation with a certain 'Jimin' and immediately looks away, feeling guilty for not minding his business.
You thank him in a tired voice, taking back your iPhone. He stands there uselessly as you seemingly give up on your previous message, turning off your phone's screen with a defeated sigh.
"Is everything okay?" He asks, taking a seat beside you on the stairs.
As you wipe your tears away with the tips of your fingers, he wonders who could have hurt a princess like you. Princesses shouldn't cry. They should be covered in diamonds, not have pearls falling down from their eyes.
He wouldn't have let something like this happen as your knight. He knows for a fact that he would have protected you, and he thinks that whomever is pretending to be your knight right now is doing a really bad job.
"Yeah, I just... shouldn't be here," you respond with a shaky voice, eyes strained down on your feet.
"Where else should you be?"
You turn your head toward him, looking at him like a poor hurt puppy. He doesn't want to compare you to something so defenceless as a puppy, but that's what your eyes tell him. It's not like you're weak, it's more like you've given up on being strong.
"I don't know," you scoff, shaking your head. "Somewhere I belong."
Jungkook thinks he understands what you mean by that. He thinks, but he doesn't know if he really does. It's complicated to relate to someone who's so different from you.
But he wants to try. Relating to someone is not mandatory to be friends, anyway. Nor is it to be in love.
He hums, leaning his forearms on his knees and looking in front of him, watching the night butterflies flying under the dim lights of the street lamps. "Wanna get home?" He proposes, thinking that's maybe where you want to be right now. "I can give you a ride."
Your reddened eyes look up at him and he looks back at you. "No, not home..." You mutter, shaking your head from side to side. "Tomorrow will come too fast," you sigh and break eye-contact, tapping on the screen of your phone to check what hour it is. One a.m..
Is it a coincidence that every time you two are alone the clock indicates one? Should he believe in coincidences or only in the ones that concern you?
"We're already tomorrow," you groan.
Jungkook smiles — he can't help it. "You can't stop the time, baby" he laughs lightly, still staring at you, at your side profile. A blessing to the eyes, a downfall to his heart. "It won't wait for your call to finally start."
You scoff again, this time because you know what he's referring to. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm just bad at relationships... or whatever this is," you apologize, certainly coming out a bit blunter than intended. Blame it on the alcohol in your system.
"It's already forgotten." It isn't, but it may be forgiven. He'll surely have this one on his heart for quite a while, though it won't make him stay away from you. It possibly can't.
You send him a sad smile, having pity for him — or maybe for you — he doesn't know.
"Wanna come to mine, then?" He offers, sporting an innocent smile on his face even though he has no intentions of sharing a cup of tea with you there. Unless that's what you want.
"Where do you live?" You ask, a bit tempted by the proposition. And anyway, you need a place to sleep.
"Downtown," Jungkook replies. "We'll be there in five minutes if we go now," he smirks, trying his hardest to convince you.
It never takes too much to convince you.
"'Kay, let's go," you smile back, biting down on your lip.
·˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ♡
When you entered his apartment, you didn't really pay attention to the decoration, you were rather more bothered by his lips on yours. The moment you stepped foot into his place, his lips were already searching for yours and you didn't refuse him.
So now he's hurriedly leading you to his bedroom, messily kissing you and roaming his hands over the curves of your body. His fingers sometimes get caught under the hem of your dress, making the flimsy material roll up over your plushy thighs.
There's no time to think, no time to ask questions. There's only a need to discover and devour your skin, only a huge desire to finally touch what he hopes will be his one day.
"Oh, be careful," he mumbles against your lips, stopping you from entering his room, his arms wrapped around your waist. "There's a step."
He swiftly lifts you up, his hands placed on the back of your thighs. He can't help but knead them, sinking his fingers into the meaty flesh.
He walks in, making you avoid all the annoying steps to his bed, the covers carelessly thrown everywhere from this morning when he got up. You continue to kiss him, your nails gracing the side of his face as you cradle him in your hands.
Soon enough he lets your back hit the soft surface of his mattress, a soft gasp escaping your lips while he crawls to you, his lips never far away from your hungry ones. He nudges your nose, attempting to connect your mouths together. He does it again and you let him have you, exchanging your saliva like it’s a sweet nectar, him a bee and you a sunflower.
Your hands on his cheeks lower to his neck where you pull on his nair, nails scratching his skin. He groans into the kiss, palming your ass very roughly, fingers sneaking under the hem of your dress.
He has the slight impression that not only your tongues are tangled, but also your souls. Bodies colliding, clashing against each other at the pace of your heartbeat.
His knees dip into the bed on each side of your body, his arms supporting his weight beside your head. He bucks his hips against yours as you quietly moan into his mouth, feeling his growing bulge pressing down on you.
Blood rushes to his cock so fast, it's like his own brain is begging for him to just fuck you. No protection, fucking raw. Make it messy, make it unforgettable, make it so every time you're with a guy other than Jungkook you regret him.
But he takes his time. That's how he learned it; time is what a woman needs, not a prick who wants his dick wet and to get it from behind. As if doggy is a position that can make her cum.
"Fuck, I'm so..." Jungkook breathes out, his forehead laying against yours. His eyelids flutter shut as he swallows to ease his dried throat, opening his eyes again when he begins to speak. "I'm so fucking hard."
"I know," you whisper, glancing down where he grinds his bulge against your clothed pussy. "I feel it."
He groans at that and moves his hips against yours with more insistence, the material of his jeans rubbing against the soft cotton of your panties. You moan at how good it feels to have his hard cock pressing down on your clit, your hands coming down to push on his butt.
"Shit, baby," he hisses, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. He frowns cutely and looks down too, deciding to raise one of your legs up, making more room for himself. "Do you like that?" He asks, continuing to hump you as if you were both deprived horny teenagers — and he won't lie, he may still act like one sometimes.
He notices a wet patch on your panties just over your core, the area has darkened where your pussy gushes arousal out. "Oh, god- yes, Kook," you moan out, the new position creating more friction.
He almost whines at the nickname, his dick literally twitching happily in his boxers. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, feeling the pace of his heart accelerating, his breath becoming irregular.
He holds your thigh up and he loves how plushy it is, how your skin looks so tender. He'd bite into it, just chew onto it to have a little taste of you.
"You smell so sweet," he states, his hot breath hitting your skin, making goosebumps run all over your skin. He kisses your neck, soft and warm, leaving a wet trail behind.
He rolls his hips against you, his erection now aching, wanting to be inside of you, but he can't seem to think about anything else than your quiet moans gracing his ears and your odour invading his nostrils.
"Jungkook," you whine, scrunching his t-shirt between your fingers, pulling on it desperately as he keeps smooching the skin of your neck.
He understands your silent request and he swiftly gets rid of his t-shirt, throwing it somewhere on his bedroom's floor. Your hands immediately travel his abs and you feel his muscles flexing under your palms.
You then pass your arms around his shoulders, bringing his lips to yours. He moans into the kiss as he keeps rubbing his hard cock against your pussy, but your little pleas make it difficult for him to focus.
He sneaks a hand between your two bodies and you grip on his hair when he reaches your puffy clit, pulsating so hard for him. "Do you want me to touch you there?" He asks in a raspy voice, his big fingers teasing your sensitive bud, his touch familiar at this point. "Hm, princess? Want me to make you feel good?"
He always finds a way to tease you even when his jeans are really tight, his cock so swollen from your dry humping session from seconds ago.
"Yes, please," you breathe out shakily, a moan escaping your mouth when he starts to draw slow, sensual circles on your clit. "Fuck, Kook." You have your mouth agape, letting out sweet moans as his digit presses down on your bud, making the knot in your stomach tighten.
He lowers his fingers to your core, feeling how soaked your panties are. "All wet for me, baby?" He purrs and you nod your head, breathless. "Good girl," he praises, a little smirk crowning his pink lips.
You pull on the hair at the nape of his neck, closing your eyes as you enjoy the pleasure he's giving you. "Faster, please, Jungkook," you beg, his finger stroking your clit sending so many tingles through your body.
So he fastens the pace of his digit, rubbing quick circles on your bud of nerves and he absolutely loves the sight of you bucking your hips against his hand, growing impatient. Your nails sink into his skin, leaving little crescent forms all over his neck. He grits his teeth at the pain, but he'll suffer through it as long as it means you're feeling pleasure.
"Yes, yes," you moan, so close to your high, your mind getting fuzzy. He doesn't stop stimulating your clit, the pad of his finger skillfully circling it over your damp underwear. "I'm gonna cum," you hurriedly say, the muscles of your thighs tensing as soon as the words leave your mouth.
Your orgasm shoots through you and you grab Jungkook's wrist, but he keeps moving his finger to drive you off your high. You tense down, hearing your heart beating in your rib cage, chest heaving rapidly.
You flutter your eyes open and they meet Jungkook's gaze. You look into each other's eyes as you slowly calm down. His hand shifts to hold your waist and you bring him in for another kiss.
You don't wait longer before sliding your panties down your legs, raising your hips up from the mattress and letting the material fall on the ground. He breaks your kiss to see your pussy totally nude, glistening in your juices. He swears it's the sexiest he's ever seen before, so cute and always so fucking wet.
He has the urge to lower down and have a taste. He could never forget your flavour, but he'd pretend to so you let him eat you out for a second time.
Exactly when he's about to devour you, you push on his chest and switch positions with him. He lets you take the top, watching you remove your dress and reveal the most intimate parts of your body to him, naked.
"You're beautiful," he compliments, the most honest he's ever been. His eyes roam over your body, scanning your breasts and your perky nipples pointing at him.
You're a pretty woman, but he wonders if his heart beating faster is really the result of your beauty or perhaps the feelings he might have for you.
"So are you," you smile, giggling when Jungkook's still staring at you with hearts in his eyes.
He's brought back to reality when you place yourself on your stomach between his legs. "What... What are you doing?" He swallows, his big brown eyes settled on you.
"Returning the favour," you respond, passing your finger on his stomach just over the band of his Calvin Klein's that peeks out of his pants. "Would you like that, Kook?"
"Yeah," he mutters under his breath, watching closely the movements of your hands, slowly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling down the zipper. You undress him from his pair of jeans and socks, coming back up to his crotch after.
He parts his legs wider for you and you lay a hand over his bulge, feeling how hard he is just for you. "You're so big, Jungkook..." You say in astonishment, visibly really pleased with his girth.
You palm him over his boxers, closing your hand around him, imagining how it'd be without his underwear on.
"Hm-mh." Jungkook passes his fingers through your hair, making you look up at him. "Think you can handle it, baby?"
You squeeze your grip on him, which results in him hissing. He's really sensitive, especially when he's been sporting a boner for quite a while now.
Though nothing will compare to the time you left him just after he made you cum on his tongue. He sucked it up, but fuck, nobody told him before how complicated it was to drive with an erection. It's really distracting. Luckily, his work was done, so he could go straight home, but still.
He had to jack off in the shower, thinking about you and how your pussy would close around him so tightly.
"I'll try," you smile.
You pull down his boxers, leaving them just below his ass, and his cock springs up, the head slapping down on his stomach. He lets out a sigh of relief, finally free from his briefs.
You wrap your fingers around him, looking so small compared to his penis, and bring him up to your lips. His tip is glistening in his pre-cum and it twitches in your hand, just so happy to see you.
Jungkook hasn't shaved, he didn't expect any of this to happen after all. He hopes you don't mind, but you don't seem to, quite the contrary even.
You start to gently and slowly pump him, passing the pad of your thumb over the little slit, spreading his arousal over his length. You leave a kiss on the head and he wonders if you're not getting revenge for all the times he teased you.
You tilt your head to the side and kiss his length all the way up to finally open your mouth and insert the tip in. Jungkook curses under his breath, taking a handful of your hair in his fist, making your scalp itch.
You keep eye-contact with him as you lower down, gradually taking all of him in the warmth of your mouth. "Fuck, your mouth feels so good around me," he moans, looking at you with lustful eyes. He can't take his eyes off of you, he's literally hypnotized by the way your lips slide so smoothly over his hard cock.
You hum, the sound a bit muffled by his dick in your mouth. Tears start to form in your eyes, throat burning as you get used to his size and the stretch of your mouth.
When you've reached his base, nose touching his pelvis, you gag around him, but manage to make the feeling go away. Jungkook believes he's in heaven right now, having his cock nestled deep in your mouth, some strands of hair falling down in front of your eyes.
You blink several times, trying to see clearer, but the water makes your vision fuzzy. "It's okay, princess," he sighs pleasantly, seeing that you struggle, your throat starting to burn badly. You gag another time and he has to concentrate if he doesn't want to cum right now. "Shit... Don't- don't force yourself," he hisses, pulling your head up.
His cock falls back down on his tummy, hearing a wet slap since he's entirely covered in your saliva. You catch your breath and wipe your lips with the back of your hand, immediately taking him back in your hand.
You stroke him, running your palm up and down his girthy length. You swallow to ease your throat and glance up at him with teary eyes. He pouts, cupping your cheeks and swiping his thumbs under your eyes to get the little pearls away.
"You don't have to take everything... I'm already happy to have you with me," he admits and he hopes his words don't scare you away. You don't know each other for that long, but sometimes he just has to be honest about his feelings.
You smile, nodding your head in response. He moans when you take him back into your mouth, flattening your tongue underneath him. He knits his eyebrows together as you bob your head over him, a hand wrapped around his base.
His short nails dig into your scalp, making you wince, but it doesn't make you stop. Jungkook lets out heavy breaths and moans, his hand gripping your hair and guiding you over his wet cock.
His other hand, his tattooed one, scrunches the bedsheets in his fist, the pleasure too good it becomes overwhelming. His eyes are strained down on you and every time your gazes meet, his heart skips a beat.
It feels too good to be true, yet here you are, pleasuring him like nobody else's ever did. You both like to give and he hopes it won't make sex difficult between you two. Well, if it ever happens again, which he really wishes it will.
"Yeah, just like that," he approves when you hollow your cheeks, continuing to bounce your head over his stiff erection. "Such a good girl," he adds on and loosens his grip on your hair, delicately patting you instead.
You almost purr under all the sweet praises he tells you, loving how he makes you feel confident and proud of yourself. Your free hand is laying on his thighs, sensing his muscles tensing and calming down each time he controls himself to last longer.
But even though he tries his best to not shoot his cum into you right now, your mouth does wonders and his orgasm is approaching really fast.
"I'm not gonna last long, baby," he warns you in a breathy voice. "Shit," he curses, sucking air through his teeth and feeling his balls tightening. Your tongue is so warm and wet, he can't resist you any longer.
You pull out and stroke his length, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his tip. It breaks as you lick them, fucking Jungkook with your fist. He groans, gritting his teeth, and his grip on the covers tightens, signs that his high is really close now.
He curls his toes, the burning sensation at the pit of his stomach growing. "Holy fuck," he spits out profanities and his cock twitches, hot cum spilling out from his red, swollen tip.
You moan with him, turned on by the sight of him releasing himself on your hand. He throws his head back and closes his eyes, all of his muscles flexing as you milk him dry.
"Oh, god, Kook," you coo, lazily stroking his cock and caressing his thigh to make him relax. "There's so much," you comment, literally amazed.
Jungkook opens his eyes and looks down at his crotch, seeing your hand still wrapped around him completely covered in his cum. He bites down on his lip at the view, even more aroused when you bring your fingers up to your mouth and lick the remains.
"Shit, you fucking minx," he says, but there's no intention to insult you, he's just so down bad for you.
It makes you giggle, encouraging you to do something even nastier. You sit on your knees and spread his cum on your tits, circling your nipples with your fingers.
Jungkook smiles, his affection for you growing, and takes a hold of your jaw, pulling you in for a long, sloppy kiss. You moan into his mouth, his cock brushing against your pussy, still hard and ready to wreck you.
"You have no idea what I want to do to you," he groans, looking into your eyes like they are the whole galaxy, endless so he can lose himself in them.
"Do what you need to do to me," you allow, offering yourself to him and more if he desires to.
When those words leave your mouth, he picks you up and gets up from his bed, your legs locked behind his back. You gasp when he pins you against the nearest wall, placing your arms around his large shoulders, holding onto him tightly.
"You sure? Because we're only done when I say so," he breathes onto your face, his forehead against yours, bangs slightly damp from his sweat.
"One-hundred percent sure," you grin, but lose your smile as soon as he pushes his cock into your pussy, ripping a loud moan out of you.
Your nails dig into the skin of his back to give him some of the pain he's inflicting to you by penetrating you with his big cock. He holds you up against him, his hands on your ass, touching you so sensually and lovingly, appreciating every part of your body.
He sinks his dick into your pussy, sliding in so easily without any restraint, cunt absolutely soaking wet. "God, pussy's so fucking tight," he rasps out, finally bottoming out into you. His balls touch your ass, his pelvis flushed against yours, meaning he's completely in.
You whine, feeling absolutely full, pussy clenching helplessly around him. Jungkook doesn't wait — he can't anymore — and starts pounding into you, his balls slapping against your skin. The room smells like sex, it's strong and quite obvious, but he easily ignores it, he practically can't even smell it.
He slides his cock in and out of your pussy, making you moan sweetly, a beautiful melody to his ears. He doesn't hold himself back and fucks you hard against the wall, but you're nowhere near against it, you're loving it.
Your boobs jiggle on your chest because of Jungkook's harsh thrusts, both of your skins glistening under the light of his bedroom, covered in a thin layer of sweat.
"I'm so full, Kook," you moan softly and he can't look away from you, finding you so pretty and sexy.
"Yeah? Full of my big cock, baby?" He asks, darting out his tongue to wet his dried lips, passing over his piercings.
"Yes," you cry, breaking eye-contact as you close your eyes, head rolling back and hitting the wall behind you.
His hips are powerful, never missing a beat and brushing over your sweet spot repeatedly. Your pussy has adjusted to the size of his girth, some of your wetness dripping down to your butt and coating his balls that slap against you.
He pushes some of his cum into you as well, the rest you haven't licked off your fingers or spread on your tits. He still can't believe you did that, but god, did he find it hot. He never thought you playing with his cum would turn him on so much. He sure will think about this moment when he's going to be alone with himself.
His eyes shift down to your bouncing breasts and he has to put one in his mouth, even if it means tasting a bit of himself too.
He catches one nipple with lips, wrapping them around your hardened bud. You moan his name and pull on the hair at the nape of his neck, pushing his head down toward your chest.
It sends more tingles to your belly, your walls closing around him tightly. He lets out a grunt, knowing his orgasm will come close if you continue clenching around him as if you want to suck him up.
"Jungkook!" You exclaim when he turns you both around, walking back to his bed. He lays your back down on the mattress, still in you, and continues his assault, snapping his hips against yours.
He pushes up your thighs over your stomach, getting a better view and access to your pussy. "Take my cock, baby. Be a good girl for me," he says, completely obsessed with you and your cunt. If you weren't made for you, he doesn't know how he'll trust life again.
Putting you on his way just to get rid of you... No, if you're not his, you're nobody else's and if he's not yours, then he doesn't know what life is fucking worth.
"Yes, yes, Jungkook," you confirm in a moan, or maybe your brain is too mushy to find something else to answer.
You place two fingers on each side of your hole where Jungkook keeps pounding in, watching his cock entering and exiting your sloppy cunt. You pull on your pussy lips, feeling the knot at the pitch of your stomach tightening again, a more intense orgasm waiting for you.
You bring a finger to your clit and begin to draw fast circles on it, impatient to feel the burning and euphoric sensation of your upcoming orgasm. Jungkook moans at the sight, making him more desperate to reach his high as well.
"Shit, close, princess?" He questions and you nod repeatedly, humming in agreement. "Me too..." He states, breathless and chest heaving rapidly.
He's tired, but somehow he still has the energy to fuck you. Honestly, fucking you might be the only thing he'll never get tired of, that's for sure. It's so addicting, so good, he simply can't get enough.
"Please, please, Kook. Faster," you beg, even though he's already going at a quick pace that will probably leave the skin of your thighs sore and bruised.
You stroke your clit from side to side and he pounds you so hard it makes you dizzy and kind of drunk off the hormones you're both releasing.
He hits your magic spot multiple times, eliciting loud moans of pleasure out of you, your eyes rolling back. "Yes, like that," you cry, the last thing you say before your thighs start shaking.
Your back lifts up from the mattress when your orgasm hits you, passing through you like a tsunami, leaving you out of breath. Your pussy clenches around Jungkook and he's so close, too.
He drives his cock into you, making you whine in overstimulation, and he feels the familiar burning sensation in his stomach. "Oh, fuck, baby," he moans and slips out of you rapidly, jerking himself off just over your quivering pussy. "Gonna cum."
With a last thrust of his hand, he cums on your cunt, making a dirty mess on you. You moan when ropes of white cum land on your pussy, dribbling down to your hole and ass.
Finally, little beads spurt out of his cock, falling on your sex. You collect some on your fingers, pushing them in you and Jungkook watches with lazy eyes, slowly pumping his cock to drive off his high.
He picks you up and places you both side by side on the bed, recovering from the heated session of sex you just experienced. He lies on his back while you're cuddled up to his side, one hand on his chest.
He turns his head in your direction and you're already smiling at him, drawing little forms on his stomach, following the lines of his abs. "Was good," you whisper.
"Yeah," Jungkook agrees, frowning slightly, wondering if maybe, potentially you share the same feelings as him.
The next morning, you dress yourself back up, having taken a fresh shower while Jungkook was still sleeping. He watches you putting back on your dress, his arms crossed behind his head.
When you're done, you spin around and face him. "What about..." You begin, a playful smile gracing your lips. "You call me soon?"
He looks at you, taking a moment to answer, just admiring the happiness you radiate. He compares your mood of when he's found you sitting on the stairs at the party to the one of this morning and he tells himself that you're feeling better because of him.
If you can both make each other happy, he doesn't see why you two can't work — as friends or more, it doesn't matter as long as he's the reason why you have a smile on your face.
"Sure."
·˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ♡
.
.
.
part 1: call me later ☼
part 2: call me soon ☾
part 3: call me tomorrow ☼
#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts x reader#bts imagines#bts scenarios#jungkook fic#jungkook imagines#jungkook fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfiction
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
dumb
matt sturniolo x afab!reader
summary: matt thinks you’re too smart for him, so he decides that he needs to fix that
warnings: smut 😼😼, dom!matt, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t do that), praise, dumbification kink???
for u nasty bitches with a dumbification kink ahem me
also im writing this 1000% stoned out of my mind so it's gonna be extra juicy trust. not proofreading ts !!! 🫶🏼😋
✄┈┈┈┈
You flutter your eyes awake as a low vibration from underneath you echoes through your head, a hand is gently caressing your head, the other being thrown around in emphasis.
Blinking the sleep away from your eyes and raising your head, your blurry vision is met with the black fabric of Matt's sweater.
You give his waist one last tight hug, before pushing yourself up and settling next to him, yawning dramatically.
Stretching your arms up, you reveal a small sliver of your skin from underneath your hoodie; immediately a wandering hand finds home around your waist, causing goosebumps crawl over your skin.
Enjoying the teasing touch of Matt's jewelry-ridden fingers, you avert your attention to the theatric and passionate discussion in front of you.
"No, I'm telling you, the moon landing is not real! Because, like-" Nick sat at the edge of the couch eagerly.
Cutting his brother of mid rant, Matt's hand gripped your waist slightly tighter; "No, cause like...why haven't they been back to the moon in all these years!?"
"That's a good point"
"That's what I'm saying!!"
You shake your head, furrowing your brows "What the fuck are you idiots talking about?"
"Y/n."
"Chris?"
"Do you believe in the moon landing?" You frowned, stuttering over your words for a moment. "You don't?"
"Y/n, just think about it! Its been, what, 50 years since Neil fuckin' Armstrong supposedly 'landed on the moon.' So why haven't we been back?"
"And don’t say its a money problem."
"Would you guys like some reasons?" You were always careful to ask before sharing your extensive knowledge---no one likes a know it all.
Watching the three of them nod, you sigh and lean back into Matt's side, crossing your legs over his, biting your lip as his hand fell onto your thigh.
"The main reason we ever went to the moon in the first place is because of the Cold War and the Space Race, 'cause America wanted to prove that they had the bigger dick and shit. That means it was super funded back then---over time NASA's funding went down."
Matt's cold rings press against the warmth of your thighs as he alternates between caressing the length of your thigh and kneading the plush skin of your upper thigh.
"But they could've saved money over time to do it!"
His hand travels further up your leg, threatening to breech the hemline of your shorts.
"They spend all their money on- ahem-on satellite stuff and tech-technology." You lift your outside leg to hopefully block the sight from Nick and Chris.
"N-not to mention they have to get the, the uh- timing just right to avoid landing on craters."
Quickly shooting your hand down to grab Matt's, you swallow roughly as his knuckle traces a circle over your clothed clit.
You see him smirk from the corner of your eye, silently cursing him.
"I don't even care that you have good points, I'm sticking with its fake."
When you don't respond, focused on hiding Matt's curious fingers, Nick and Chris alike are confused.
"You good, Y/n?"
"Girl... you look so focused that you kinda sorta look like you're ‘bout to throw up..."
"Yeah, Y/n/n. You doing okay, baby?" Matt smirks through a teasing voice.
Glaring up at him, you gather your words and place them carefully as his fingers snake under the band of your bottoms.
"Sorry, my head is just hurting from sleeping earlier. I may go to bed soon." You lie as your hand grips his tighter.
A warm hand is pressed to your forehead, followed by the clicking of a tongue.
"You feel warm, pretty. Lets get you to bed." Matt plays into the lie quickly.
Nick almost audibly gags from the other side of the sofa, gathering his stuff and stand. "Okay, after that I need to get away, I'm going to bed."
"Wait, what? You're just leaving me? Alone? Nick I'm coming with."
The pair's arguments grow faint as they climbed the staircase, Matt all but dragging you to his room, quickly closing his door and locking it.
He brought one hand to your hip and the other to the back of your neck, pulling your body flush against his. His lips fervently found yours, kissing you roughly as he walked you backwards.
The backs of your knees met the edge of his bed and you fell backwards onto the plush surface, bouncing up and down a few times as you watched him rid himself of his shirt before climbing on top of you, his lips attaching to your neck
You hum sweetly and wrap your arms around his back, one hand reaching up to rake through the hair on the nape of his neck.
His hands trace your sides diligently, squeezing the plush skin of your thighs as he caresses them, lighting every inch of skin on fire.
"So good, Matt."
He kisses his way back up to your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth as it opens in a gasp from his hand snaking under the hem of your shirt and grabbing your breast.
Melting into his touch, one hand grips onto his brown locks, trailing your nails lightly down his bare back with the other.
His tattooed arm trails up your front, hand finding home loosely wrapped around the base of your neck causing you to let out a whine into the heated kiss.
A trail of saliva connects the two of you as Matt pulls away from your lips, grabbing the end of your shirt and lifting it over your head.
His pink lips immediately attach to your right nipple, low whines falling eagerly from your bruised lips.
Pulling away briefly, he brings two fingers up to your mouth, resting them on your raw-bitten lips. "Suck" he demands simply, pushing his digits into your mouth, pressing down onto your tongue.
Matt continues to trail kisses down your sternum and stomach, leaving slow, teasing kisses just above the band of your shorts.
A teasing finger dips below the band of the blue striped shorts, pulling it away from your skin and letting it snap back into place. A whimper to fell from your filled mouth, prompting matt to press down harder on your tongue.
“What did I say? Thought you were supposed to be smart, baby” He teases condescendingly, lips still trailing down your front, leaving a slow and unsatisfying kiss right where you needed him most.
Your cheeks pull in as you suck on his fingers, humming out a whine as you mentally urge him to stop teasing.
As if he can read your thoughts, he pulls his now slick fingers from your mouth, using both his hands to smoothly slide your shorts and panties down, tossing them across the room.
He sits up, taking a moment to admire his girl, hooded eyes raking up and down your body with desire. "So perfect... my perfect girl."
You relish in his praise, avoiding his eyes in embarrassment as you try to cover yourself.
His large hands quickly find yours, pushing them down to your sides as he flattens himself against his bed, head hovering over your sopping wet folds.
Your hands fought against his hold as he nips at your inner thighs, soothing his marks with his tongue.
"Matt, please" A breathless moan escapes from your pleading mouth, causing him to stare up into your eyes, a smirk on his lips.
"What do you want, mama? Say it." He demanded, sucking a harsh mark just a few inches from your needy core.
"Fuck, Matt. I need you, need your tongue, please baby." Your right hand broke from his hold, immediately gripping onto his soft brown locks. "Good girl" You tug and exhale an audible gasp as he finally flattens his tongue against you, causing him to hum out a moan.
Matt traces shapes his name on your sensitive bud, occasionally wrapping his lips around you and sucking harshly, chuckling as your hips buck against his face in pleasure. He could die a happy man delving in your slick folds.
One arm pins you down by your hips, the other starting to circle your dripping hole in tantalizing strokes.
His actions quickly turned you into a moaning, whimpering mess, your babbling only spurring him on.
The once teasing circles turned into a quick thrust as he stretched you out, fingertips curling up into you, hitting that spot inside of you.
"Oh, fuck! Matt, fuck, fuck, fuck."
"Feel good baby? Huh? Use your words." He said, pulling away for a brief moment before continuing.
The all-too familiar knot formed in the pit of your stomach; "So cl-"
As you began to speak, his movements became rougher and faster, forcing a near pornographic moan from your beat-up lips.
"Hm? What was that, ma?"
Both of your hands bury themselves in his thick hair, tugging as he fingered you roughly.
"God, m'so--fuck, Matt. I'm, m'so-so close!" You struggle to get out, hips pushing against his flexing arm as he pulls you to the edge, finally pushing you over with one last flick of his tongue.
Lower half shaking, you try to catch your breath, quickly finding the task difficult as he relentlessly continued to fuck you with his fingers. Your thighs close around him, but he still continued, prying them open with his other arm.
"Too much! Too much." You think your whine falls on deaf ears but he slowly pulls away, leaving one last quick kiss on your sensitive clit.
Matt traces gentle circles on your thigh as you come down from your high, only stopping to remove his sweatpants and boxers, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking himself slowly.
Your eyes drift to the sight and, biting your lip with droopy eyes, you slowly rise out of the bed, using his knee as support as you kneel in front of him.
His hand came down to gently hold your face, thumb caressing your cheek before pulling your bottom lip down, letting it bounce back into place as he pulled away. He gripped his length in his other hand, guiding it down to your pink lips, tracing them as he bit his own.
Opening your lips, you allow him to slowly enter your mouth, tongue swirling around the tip and doing circles along the bottom.
Your head bobs up and down as his fingers thread into your hair, a low moan escaping from your throat.
After a few moments, his grip tightens as he forcefully moves your head up and down on him as he pleases, a whiny groan falling from his pretty lips
"Don't have much to say now, do you mama? All choked up on my cock. Y'look so pretty takin' me down your throat."
Tears threaten to fall from your eyes, swallowing roughly around him as you try not to gag—he only grunts louder.
He presses your nose to his trimmed thatch of hair for a few seconds, roughly tugging on your hair to pull you completely off him, gasping breaths escaping from your abused mouth.
Staring down at you in admiration, he smiles at your heaving chest and water eyes staring back up at him “So perfect, doll.”
He pulls you back up, immediately pushing you back on his bed and attacking you with hot, open-mouthed kisses trailing from your stomach to your lips. He rubbed his throbbing length against your slick folds, not missing the way you gasped against his lips.
Without warning, his hips push forward, splitting you open and eliciting a loud moan from your lips.
Your walls immediately clench around him, hearing a strained grunt fall from his throat
“Fuck, mama. Won’t last if you keep that up.”
You don’t respond, words dying off in your throat as his hips meet yours with a quiet noise.
His arms wrap around your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer to him as his thrusts increase in speed and intensity.
Your words tumble out of your mouth like alphabet soup, stuttering and gasping and hiccuping instead of stringing together sentences.
“Not so smart now, hm? Can’t even form your words, poor dumb baby.” He mutters sinful nothings into your ear, pushing your thighs into your chest as his tip brushes against that spot.
A long whine escaped from you at the feeling, manicured nails digging into the skin of his back and tangling themselves in his chocolate locks, tugging.
The pain only encourages him to continue, busying himself with creating marks all along your chest and neck. He could listen to you desperate whines and moans all day, your delicious whimpers never failed to make his eyes roll to the back of his head.
A knot began to form in your stomach, and the world seemed to slow.
As you begin to tighten around him he slams his hips into yours at what seems like an impossible pace, tip kissing your cervix with each thrust.
“You gonna cum pretty girl? Tell me. Tell me what you need” He brings his thumb down to toy with your sensitive clit, watching with a smirk as you struggle with your words.
“G-gonna, mm-fuck! Gonna cum, Matt! P-please let me cum!” You cry out head falling against his plush, silk-covered pillow case as you urged yourself to hold it in.
His thrusts become uncoordinated, showing he was nearing his climax.
“Did-fuck, did so well. Cum for me, mama, let it all out” He serenades you with his strained voice, grunts threatening to become whimpers.
The knot inside you snapped, causing you to yell out in a moan that definitely upset both Nick and Chris and the neighbors.
You saw white as you release all over his cock, legs trembling with your orgasm against Matt’s hold.
He fucks you through your release, afterwards thrusting once, twice, three times, before pulling out and shooting white, hot lines across your abdomen, hushed moans falling from his pink lips.
You feel a few kisses being placed on the sides of your face and forehead, along with Matt’s heaving chest pressing against yours.
“You did so good, baby. Did I go too hard?” He asks concerned, brushing stray hairs out of your face and tracing your jawline carefully.
Shaking your head, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down onto you “no, made me feel so good.” He smiles at the tired, fucked out voice you sported.
As much as he wished to stay in that position forever, he lifted himself off of you, despite your protests.
“Just gotta get you cleaned up, mama. Then we can lay here ‘till the sun burns out.” He said while picking up a random shirt and wiping you and himself off.
After taking care of you and making sure you both were comfortable and clean, he crawled under his warm comforter with you and attached himself to you, nuzzling his head into your neck.
Scrolling on his phone, he clicked on his unread messages.
Chris
Y’all are nasty
12:57 am
Nick
Go to a hotel next time cause what the fuck.
1:12 am
#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo
669 notes
·
View notes
Note
gamer g!p yujin x fem!reader 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕 im so down bad for yujin SORRY
i come bearing a very self-indulgent and specific gift for this prompt hehe 😈😈
see, i'd make yujin a loser here cuz ya'll know why BUT i thought it'd be fun to make her a cool n sexy gamer bcs only ahn yujin can pull that off 😼 anyway, she'd love making you play her games!! yujin has the brightest smile on her face when you sit down on a separate chair beside her while she's gaming and ask questions 🥺 and she falls even harder for you when she notices how well you listen to her while she's explaining stuff like the nerd that she secretly is ☺️☺️ yujin would probably be a pretty popular streamer too! she's pretty, she's funny, she's actually good at every game she plays, and she can talk really well even through the screen and the camera!! her viewers love catching you standing behind her, completely immersed in her gameplay that you don't say anything—they think you're so cute 😭 the two of you are probably a popular ship on twitch LMAO 😭
and now comes menace gamer bf yujin who makes you play her games while you're sat on her lap,, being the pervert that she is, she has her hands all over you while you're trying to learn,, of course yujin only does this when the cameras are turned off—she doesn't want anybody to see you in ways only she's allowed to. she rubs your nipples through your shirt, but you don't even notice at first bcs you're so focused on the game, what a cutie :(( you finally take notice of the sensation when yujin pinches on them, making you let out a small gasp that always sounded so fucking good in yujin's ears,,
she definitely fondles your tits underneath your shirt while she whispers instructions in your ear,, knows how much it's affecting you by the way you shivered and tried your hardest to hold back your whimpers but is a bit annoyed bcs you're so well in the game still?? 😭 and god,, she's always making sure that your position on her lap is perfect with your ass right on her bulge,, it makes everything easier on her part,, gently puts her hands on your hips and starts grinding up slowly,, exaggerates her moans just to get your attention, gives you that shit-eating smirk-smile she always has on when she knew she was getting inside your head.. and then she gets really fucking annoying 🤭🤭
yujin slipping her hand inside your shorts to rub your needy clit through your panties, still grinding on your ass, lips right on your ear while she whispers, "my good girl's gonna complete this level for daddy, right?" guys what the fuck i need her—
and ofc you have no choice but to nod and whimper :(( and oh, how she fucking loves that 😩😩
yujin knowing what exactly gets you to do whatever she wants to make you do.. "sit on my cock. if you do well enough maybe i'll fuck you, but if you don't... you're not coming at all tonight." and being the pathetic slut that you are, you obey! cockwarming yuj while you try your hardest to play but she's making it so hard :(( between her small, slow thrusts from time to time, fingertips barely brushing against your clit, a semi-hard grip on your thigh, and the soft moans that left her mouth every time you adjusted yourself a little bit... how could you not lose control of yourself?? 😣
barely a second after completing the level and you immediately drop the controller on the floor.. yujin grabbing you by the back of your shirt, pulling you into her and pressing her fingers against your clit hard, making you moan loudly and grab onto her wrist, "so good for daddy, aren't you?" yujin says against your ear,, fuck she'd lick from the crook of your neck to the spot behind your ear just to hear your sweet moans,, yujin doesn't hesitate to manhandle you either! especially when she's desperate to fuck you like this.. throwing you down on the couch with your ass up and face buried on one of the couch pillows, but she pulls your hair so your voice could fill the air while she pounded you from behind 🫣 gawd... her one hand holding your waist in a death grip, muttering curses as well as your name while she fucks into you with her big dick :((
"just like that.. fuck yourself into my cock—god.. good girl..!"
"that's my girl.. move, (y/n)..."
"you like daddy's games, huh..? don't worry, we'll get to play more.. so much more.. f-fuck! i'm.. c-coming—"
looking behind you just to see the sight of yujin's pleasured expression with her eyes shut tight and teeth biting her lip while sweat drips down her perfect neck.. 😳😳😳
#ive smut#ive x reader#ive x fem reader#ive imagines#ahn yujin smut#ahn yujin imagines#ahn yujin x reader#ahn yujin x fem reader#yujin smut#yujin imagines#yujin x fem reader#yujin x reader#girl group smut#girl group imagines#girl group x fem reader#girl group x reader#g!p ahn yujin#g!p yujin#g!p idol#g!p ive
653 notes
·
View notes
Text
Papa Headcanons - 💋💑
Day 15 of KINKTOBER is here! 🎃
**WARNING - NSFW**
Also available on AO3!
My headcanons of ~lovemaking~ with the Papas
Primo
Perfectly content to lay on his back and watch you ride, too old and tired to do anything wild and crazy
Had lots of wild sexventures in his youth and is happy to have missionary or cowgirl sex for the rest of his days
Refers to the act as “making love” for general sex, or “fornication” for a quickie
Always conscious about wearing a condom
Lots of kissing and cute pet names
Rarely, if ever, says he loves you but treats you so sweetly you know he does
Switch but mostly a pleasure dom
Won’t stop until you cum
Surprisingly gentle touch
Painfully aware of the size of his member and makes sure to ease into you and makes sure you’re very wet and ready for him
Secondo
Prefers to let you ride him but he controls the motions and speed from the bottom
Also loves spooning you so he can reach around to your front
Has a good read on facial expressions and can generally tell what you’re in the mood for and pays attention to your body language during sex
Comes prepared with toys, lube, condoms, dilators, and other accouterments
Loves to play with your nipples
Leaves you one of his button down shirts to wear afterwards
Indulges in a cigar or cigarette, or a glass of whiskey, in bed with you after
Almost always a dom and will play it rough when you want it
Easily makes you cum multiple times
Wants to service and be serviced by his sub
Loves facefucking you
Terzo
Romantic gestures- lights lot of candles, spreads rose petals on the floor and bed, dims the lights, draws you a bubble bath, sends you roses or a lunch delivery at work
Seduces you all day through texts which include “So what are you wearing? 😼” and “Wanna fuck?”
Has an extensive toy collection
He calls the act fucking but definitely adjusts to the mood/vibe depending on whether you want it slow or fast
Desperate to get you off multiple times
Won’t let himself cum until you have at least once before him
Studies your body’s reactions so he knows when you’re about to have an orgasm
Gets turned on by turning you on
LOTS of foreplay and lots of lube
Consistently asks if you’re comfortable
Likes to switch positions a lot
LOVES doggystyle because it makes him feel bigger
Is relieved when you say you’re on birth control but has condoms in his room and office just in case
Loves cumming inside you but also loves to spill his seed on your chest and see how much you milked him
Switch, but can easily adapt to whatever works in his partner dynamic
Cardinal Copia
Finishes quickly and is a little ashamed about it but is assured when you tell him it’s okay and you know he’s just so turned on by you that he couldn’t help it
Sniffs your underwear you left in his room the night before to get hard again and anticipate the next time
Nearly cums his pants just during the makeout session pre-sex
Carries a condom in his wallet
Wants you to undress him
Surprised and overjoyed if he makes you cum but often confuses your moans as orgasms even if you haven’t yet
Keeps asking “Is this okay?”
Acts like a Casanova IRL but when it’s just the two of you he gets a little shy
Not sure how to incorporate toys but is willing to try
Popia
He absolutely calls it “making love”
Has clear distinctions between just fucking and lovemaking
Absolutely loves facing one another on your sides, one leg hooked over your hip to press you up and down on his cock, so he can look you in the eyes and kiss your face
Loves missionary too
Almost more excited for foreplay and the chance to see you naked than (penetrative) sex
Whispers “I love you, I love you” while kissing your face
Switch; wants to fuck you and also get fucked
Proud if he can get you off multiple times in one session
Can sense if something is wrong or you’re uncomfortable and will stop immediately
Lowkey begging you to peg/top him since you started dating. He’s never tried it but wants you to dominate him
Enjoys cumming inside you because he’s never felt closer to another human than in that intimate moment. The first time he said he loved you was when he came inside you for the first time
#the band ghost#ghost bc#ghost band smut#papa emeritus x reader#ghost band fanfic#copia is my husband#kinktober 2023#terzo#copia emeritus#papa emeritus iv#papa emeritus i x reader#papa emeritus ii x reader#papa emeritus iii x reader#papa emeritus iv x reader#papa emeritus smut#the band ghost fanfiction#terzo fanfiction#terzhoe
440 notes
·
View notes
Text
the art of trying | jjk (m)
>>pairing: jungkook x reader / dilf!jk x grocery store clerk!oc
>>genre: friends with benefits, smut, angst
>>word count: 29.3k 😁
>>warnings: dom jk, sub oc, age gap, oc club era 🪩🥂, oc heart to heart with…, enter mr park seojoon !!, budding friendships 🥰, mending of relationships, enter dilf !!, reconciliation finally, but still we yearn, and jk is still a little stewpid, however!! he is doing his best!!, mostly oc pov i think, warning for a little bit of sad bc she is sad !!, but not too sad 😼, enter jock !!, dilf jk stuff: asking for permission, saying thank u, etc., fore play in the form of a lil dry humping 🫶🏻, finishes (multiple),, oral (m & f), dirty talk, lovesick gross smitteness 👎🏻, jreampie 👍🏻, and finally, enter nari !! (🧋)
>>notes: finally am i right 🤣
this is part of my dilf jk series that can be found on my masterlist
>>summary: you’re trying to forget jungkook, but he’s trying to make sure you remember why you shouldn’t.
It’s the middle of January and I haven’t learned to be okay without you, yet. The wind outside is harsh and cold. It hurts my feelings sometimes.
It reminds me of you, sometimes, too.
I still miss you.
“Girl, what does that even mean?”
Your laptop gets slammed shut, and you whip your head around to see Binna. Your very best friend that has been caught red-handed, reading over your shoulder.
“Do you mind?” you say with narrowed eyes.
“I do actually,” she says, walking around the couch and plopping next to you.
You roll your eyes and rephrase with something she’s hopefully less likely to have an answer to. “Can I help you?”
Binna looks stumped for approximately .4 seconds –not nearly long enough to be satisfying– and then she’s saying, “No, but you can help yourself. Please go to therapy. I am begging you and also I will pay for it.”
“Die.”
“C’mon, you’ve been sad for like almost 2 months,” she groans, “and it’s like… tangible, ___. I walk into the house and I can feel it. It just permeates the air and– look, it even killed the plant.”
Binna’s pointed finger guides your gaze to the small succulent on the windowsill and it’s a bit pathetic how your eyes start to tear up because it is in fact, the tiny succulent Jeongguk gave you so many months ago. You had done a good job of taking care of it for a while, his occasional texts reminding you to water it had been helpful. But lately you haven’t even really been taking care of yourself, and the little plant has, unfortunately, become collateral damage.
You also don’t get those texts anymore.
With big watery eyes and a fat bottom lip, you turn back to her and she sighs. Grabs the remote and pauses whatever is playing on the tv. This makes Jade squawk, something about her watching it and it being the best part but Binna is having none of it.
“No, this is actually dire. She’s crying over the plant, Jade. We have to intervene, it’s time.”
Jade pouts for a moment, looking between the tv and you as if she can’t decide which is more pressing. When she crawls from her place where she was laying on the floor to your feet, it seems her decision is made. She rests her chin on your knee.
“Still sad over the dilf?” she asks.
You nod pitifully.
“She was openly writing melancholy about him… it's a public cry for help,” Binna adds.
With a nod of understanding, Jade says, “Writing can be a good way to get your thoughts together and work through them.”
Choosing not to tell them that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to work through all the thoughts because there are just too many and it hurts too bad, you stay quiet.
It’s not an awkward silence that takes over the living room, but you can tell that Binna and Jade are trying to think of something to say. Jade ends up being the one to interrupt the quiet.
“Has he reached out to you at all?”
The unanswered text on your phone started as a temptation, but it’s ended as a little memo that helps put things into perspective.
Did you get home okay?
Jeongguk made his decision and he only sent you that text because he let you leave.
He sent you that text after he made it so incredibly clear that he wasn’t going to let you stay in his life.
Despite you telling him you’d think about things, let him know what you decided in regards to you and him– he really didn’t leave much room for you to do that. He’s hard-headed and he’s extreme and when he makes his mind up about something… it’s not likely anyone will be able to change it. Especially if it has to do with Nari.
And it’s not like you don’t get it. You do, to some extent at least.
Nari is his baby and Nari is his priority. Just like she should be. That’s self-explanatory and easy to understand. If Jeongguk felt you being in his life somehow messed with his priorities and decided it wasn’t going to work out between you two after giving it some thought– it wouldn’t have been easy, but you would have accepted it nonetheless.
But part of you believes he didn’t give it much thought at all because one moment he was washing you, taking care of you, kissing you. Making you feel like you were his and he was yours and like he cared. Like he was always going to be there; like he was endless.
Then the next he was telling you it was all basically a mistake to him. That he didn’t know if he had the room or the time for you anymore. Like you were an amenity with a timeframe. Something that was worthwhile, until it wasn’t anymore. Something nice that was momentarily useful, something that perhaps made his life better, easier in a way… but something that ultimately wasn’t necessary.
The turnaround was too abrupt and too abrasive and too rash for you to accept that it wasn’t impulsive. That he truly thought it through. You think that’s what’s hindering you from moving on.
A part of you almost wishes that you could fool yourself into believing he did mull it over. That he simply ‘changed his mind’. Because that’s better than the uncertainty that comes with him cutting you out so heedlessly.
If Jeongguk had a change of heart– it means that, at one point, his heart was sure of you; his heart did want you.
It’s deceiving, but it hurts less than the uncertainty.
The ache that comes with longing for what was is concrete and irrefutable in a bittersweet sense because at least in that case, what you’re yearning for was something that you had; something that was real.
You can’t pinpoint the pain that comes with uncertainty. There’s too much room for doubt, too many times you can mistake a ‘what if’ for a ‘what was’. There are too many ways you can spin the past if you’re not certain of it. Too many different outcomes you can craft. There are too many ways that uncertainty can hurt
Jeongguk’s 180 took place barely within a few hours. Specific changes were instantaneous. Like the quiet unease that shrouded the atmosphere; the quick developing doubt that inevitably tainted both your affections. In all honestly, you could feel the shift as soon as he walked into the playroom after talking to Nari’s mom.
Dasom.
The things you feel when you think about her make you feel so ugly. Like your heart is rotten within your core, ruining you from the inside because it’s so easy to blame her and resent her for everything that occurred. Easy to pin the earth-shattering, tectonic shift in your and Jeongguk’s dynamic on her. It’s easy to hate her for the things she said about you, for the thoughts she put into Jeongguk’s head. But deep inside, right next to your rotten heart, there’s something small that’s telling you it’s easiest to hate her because you aren’t her.
An achy heaviness levels in your gut and you press your eyes shut tightly, consciously making an effort to not tear up. It still hurts so badly. In a way you don’t even really understand. You’re not sure if it stems from jealousy or insecurity or maybe both.
But there is something so excruciatingly painful, something that feels so devastatingly unfair, about Jeongguk and Dasom.
It’s absurd and it’s stupid to let an ex get to you. You know that and you’re aware that it’s the past and that it’s over between them… but when you think about all of the history? It’s enough to overthink and compare. To wonder ‘what if?’, ask yourself ‘why?’ and ‘does he still?’.
Because they loved each other; were in love with each other. They had the sweetest little baby girl together. Dasom will always know Jeongguk in a way that you won’t. She will always know versions of him that you never will. She will always have a part of him and be a part of his life. She will always know him longer than you. No matter what –even if you and Jeongguk had stayed together, fallen in love, and gotten married– she was still there first. In a sense, you won’t ever be able to catch up to her– to them or what they had.
You almost have to laugh at yourself for thinking like that because it’s so pathetically dramatic and pointless. Because yes, letting an ex get to you is both absurd and stupid. But especially so when you let it get to you after months.
Bitterly, you consider that maybe Jeongguk was right. Maybe you were too young for him, and maybe you really weren’t ready for everything that came with him.
When your thoughts are reeled back in, you tell Jade about Jeongguk’s text you never answered.
“God what a whore,” Binna groans. “What kind of person asks that after cutting you out of their life?”
“A man,” Jade reasons.
It makes you chuckle a small laugh, and the silence that settles this time is a little more comfortable. A couple of minutes pass with the three of you pretending to watch Jade’s show when Binna clears her throat.
She tries to keep her voice light and casual, acts as if she’s just making conversation. “You’ve been lurking, no?”
She will be disappointed when you admit that you’ve tried. But she’ll also be pleased to know that you simply can’t.
“He doesn’t have Instagram.” You shrug your shoulders as if it’s not a big deal and like your recently searched isn’t full of accounts that have some variation of Jeongguk’s name in the user.
“He probably has Facebook, he’s old,” Jade says absently, eyes glued to the television once again.
Binna gets a worried look on her face when she can physically see the lightbulb go off in your head. Then her expression shifts into one of tired disapproval. “Thank you for that, Jade.”
Jade’s reply is simply a preoccupied, half-hearted ‘My bad’.
But you do not care and your phone is already out.
You’re trying to move on, you are. Truly. One peek won’t hurt. Also–
“He’s not old, he’s only 29,” you say distractedly, waiting for the app to download before the phone is promptly plucked from your hands. “Hey–”
“Give me that,” Binna interrupts, “If you look him up, you will come up in his ‘people you may know’. I don’t want that for you, and you don’t want that for you. Trust me.”
With a frowny pout on your face, you settle back into that couch. “Well… I don’t want you coming up in whatever that is either, right?”
“You do not need to worry about that because I am a professional and I am crazy. What’s his last name again?”
Professional and crazy sound like adjectives that are not supposed to go together, but you don’t argue and when she pulls out her own phone, you answer her.
Binna’s sleuthing seems to be entertaining enough for Jade to abandon her show, moving from her place at your feet to a seat next to Binna looking over her shoulder. Nervousness keeps you from joining, quietly just waiting for the few moments it takes for Binna to find what she’s looking for.
“Ah! Jeon Jeongguk, 30, C–” she gasps, eyes wide as she looks at you, “you didn’t tell us he was a CEO!”
You shrug. “Didn’t seem important. And I told you already, he’s 29. Not 30.”
Binna’s brows furrow before she’s looking at her phone again, bringing it close to her face and using her thumbs to zoom in on the profile picture. “Is this not him?”
“No, that’s him,” Jade confirms, face close to Binna’s. “I’ve seen enough pictures of him in the groupchat that I also see him in my dreams.”
“Please don’t dream about him,” you say musingly, reaching to snatch the phone from Binna just like she did to you.
It is in fact your Jeon Jeongguk pictured on the phone. His profile picture is candid, him smiling wide with those puffs under his eyes, probably mid-laugh. But it still seems professional enough, he’s in one of his many expensive suits, with his tie on, and his hair done sleek.
And you can feel how a small, sad smile comes to rest on your lips. You carefully click on the picture to see when it was posted.
Just a couple of weeks ago.
And the small, sad smile gets even smaller and even sadder. He looks happy enough, and you hope he is. But it stings a little for some reason.
Then you remember why you pilfered the phone in the first place.
Looking over his profile, you see the basic information. His alumn, his job, his hometown. You click the ‘about info’ option below all of that and it’s then that you see his birthday, and that his age is indeed 30. And you feel silly, a little embarrassed, for not knowing. Or maybe forgetting?
Though, you’re almost positive you didn’t forget. That you wouldn’t have forgotten something like his birthday. That you couldn’t have because Jeongguk was your favorite person.
You trade Binna her phone back for yours.
The photos in your camera roll on his alleged birthday are from what you thought was a random day that Jeongguk asked you to come over.
It was kinda spontaneous for him. Considering he was someone that usually liked to plan, getting a random phone call from him while you were still at work was out of character. He simply asked if you wanted to come over. Just laze around with him, watch a movie, or something. Stay the night, maybe. He sounded slightly boyish when he asked, like he was trying to mask the hopeful excitement in his voice. You told him yes, of course, but that you wouldn’t be able to come until after work.
When you showed up at his, still clad in your work uniform, he was beaming. You barely made it through the door before he was literally giving you the shirt off his back to change into, helping you out of your polo and khakis.
In the photo you’re looking at, your head is in Jeongguk’s lap and he’s shirtless looking at the tv with his hand over your mouth. You had been purposefully asking too many questions, just like you always did. The picture was taken from below so the angle is a little funny.
And even though you’re smiling at the memory, the image turns blurry as you start to tear up. Something about it warms your heart while simultaneously breaking it.
Apparently, he didn’t want gifts, or anything extravagant. Seeing as he omitted telling you it was the one day of the year that everything was supposed to be about him, the one day he was supposed to be doted on. Jeongguk just wanted to be with you. Just your company was enough for him. Just you were enough for him.
“He never told me it was his birthday, but he asked me to come over,” you tell your friends, with your thumb swiping through the many pictures you took that day. “Like me just being there was a good enough birthday present or something?”
Jade can hear the waver in your voice, and she gently says, “Maybe we shouldn’t look at old pics if it’s going to make us sad, hmm?”
“Maybe we should delete them, hmm?” Binna chirps.
You hear them but you continue till you get through the whole night and the next morning. The tears are so heavy in your eyes, but you try to laugh, dabbing at your waterline with your sleeve when you say, “I like– really miss him, guys,” before you end up just covering your face with your palms and letting yourself have your moment.
Jade coos, scooching closer to you, pulling you to her side. She rubs your shoulder soothingly. “I know you do, ___,” she says quietly.
Your roommate has really come a long way since the first conversation you had with her about Jeongguk. The other roommate, however, seems like she is regressing.
“We have got to get you out of the house and onto another dick. Your vibrator is tired and your pillow probably smells like the ocean because of all the tears it’s soaked up. It probably needs a wash, too.”
“Binna!” Jade scolds.
“No, like I’m so serious right now,” Binna defends, “I understand being sad over a breakup, but it’s been months. And over a grown man who lets his literal ex-wife, whom he divorced, still have such a pull on him? Like c’mon. What the fuck is that?”
“She’s allowed to be sad! And those things you listed make her sadness even more warranted. You were holed up in your room for months too, at one point,” Jade reminds, “But it was over a boyband breaking up.”
“In hindsight, it was very good for Zayn to leave,” Binna amends before giving you her attention. “Listen I get it, but I just want you to be happy again… You know?”
When you peek up at her with a sniffle, she looks sad.
“I don’t want you to get stuck in the sad and the hurt, ___,” she says quietly, “because sometimes when people get stuck in the sad and in the hurt, they can’t like– get unstuck. You know? Nothing gets better. The depression just swallows them and they don’t ever feel better and– I want you to feel better.”
Binna’s not the most eloquent, but she has the biggest heart. And you know she means well, and despite how stuck in the sad and the hurt you truly are, you know that she does have a point.
You have to brood over it for a moment, and you kind of feel like you’re outside of your body when you agree. Like you’re hearing someone else say, “Okay, where are we going?”
~~~
The club lights are too bright and strobing too fast, just asking for someone to seize. Your feet hurt because the heels you’re wearing are too high. You figured the weeks following New Year’s would be less crowded, that everyone would be recovering from blackouts and bad decisions. The sheer number of people around you tells you otherwise. You’re not having a good time.
When you tell your roommates as much, their response is handing you a shot. A few shots.
And since alcohol is essentially magic, with every shot glass that is emptied down your throat, the night grows more enjoyable and less likely to be remembered. The lights turn pretty, and the ache in your feet becomes dull and muted, just like the one in your heart.
You’re dancing how a person who doesn’t know how to would. Hips swaying, arms occasionally going above your head before slinking back down and over your body. The bass in the club makes it feel like everything is vibrating and it makes you laugh dumbly, eyes squeezing shut as you giggle to yourself. You know Binna and Jade are close by, but it feels like you’re in your own little world.
“I feel good,” you yell over the music to no one in particular. Eyes still closed, a loose-lipped smile lingering at the corners of your mouth.
The warmth of a body can be felt behind you, though it’s not quite pressing against you yet. It doesn’t feel bad, and neither do the fingertips ghosting along the curve of your waist. You press into the touch, the heat, a little more. A chiffon chuckle is puffed over the crown of your head. The tentative fingers at your waist get more firm, their grip trying to steady you.
“You look good, too,” the body behind you says, lips brushing the shell of your ear. It makes chills prick at your skin.
You bite your lip to keep from smiling at the sensation, at the words. Your hand goes to cover the bigger one on your waist. You intentionally keep the touch constant when you turn around in their hold. Their palm slides along your body till it’s settling on your lower back just above the swell of your ass.
When you look up, your reply gets caught in your throat.
The owner of the warm body behind you is handsome, strikingly so. Tall, strong. Smile dreamy, and eyes dark. He gives you a soft grin accompanied by an encouraging nod, wanting you to say what you can’t seem to get out.
“Uh–” you sputter with a wince, before clearing your throat, “I– yeah, um… thanks, you too.”
You can’t hear his laugh over the music, but you can tell he’s amused by the way his chest rumbles, and how his eyes curl. The hand at the base of your spine moves to your hip, squeezing gently.
His other hand is moving, too, and your track it till it’s tucking some hair behind your ear. You go still and flush when he leans down to your ear again. “I’m Seo-joon,” he tells you.
Introducing yourself is the automatic reply he gets, and he hums, eyes scanning your face. The hand that tucked your hair trails down your arm until his fingers meet yours. They flirt for a moment before they lace together. His movements seem shy, but they’re actually very calculated. Well practiced. Like he does this a lot. Like he knows exactly how to get what he wants.
The realization sobers you some. Not enough to clear all of the drunken fog in your head, but enough to make you vaguely more alert.
“I think you’re a… a little too good at this for me, Mr. Seo-joon.”
Seo-joon briefly looks surprised, eyes widening like a child who’s been caught in a lie. Then he’s recovering, laughing. “Ah,” he muses, guiding your arms to drape over his shoulders, your hands interlocking behind his neck. His hands do the same around your waist as he pulls you a little closer. “I don’t know, you might be the one that’s too good? Too smart? Read me like an open book.”
There’s a flutter in your tummy that you haven’t felt in months and it’s exciting. Makes you giddy as you blink up at him sluggishly, eyelids heavy.
“Are you not?” you ask him, coquettishly referring to him being easy to read. “Aren’t you here for the usual?”
He looks up like he’s thinking. Then he’s shrugging, like there’s no point in denying the obvious. Crowding your space, cheek brushing yours as he talks into your ear again, he asks, “And why are you here, ___? The usual, as well?”
Seo-joon doesn’t move out of your space like the times he did before, instead pulling you into him a bit more, making your space his space too. Lips brush against the corner of your jaw, just below your ear. Teasing, yet sure.
“I’m here to forget–” Your hand twines into the hair at the nape of his neck when he nips softly at your earlobe, making you gasp quietly, interrupting yourself. “–about someone.”
He lets out a smug sound of understanding. “That’s about as ‘usual’ as it gets, ___,” you hear him say, before he purrs confidently, “Let me help you.”
And when he molds his lips to yours, you expect the kiss to feel as good as the lead-up.
You expect the butterflies in your belly to flutter wildly– not go still. You expect the hands roaming over your body to feel rousing– not misplaced, like they aren’t supposed to be there. When you open your mouth to let him lick inside, you expect it to feel right. But it doesn’t. Sure, it doesn’t feel wrong, necessarily. But it doesn’t feel like it should. He doesn’t feel like he should.
But you want him to. You want Seo-joon to feel right, and you want him to feel good. You want it so badly that you go home with him.
~~~
The cab ride is nothing but a precursor– something that needs to happen but not something that needs to be remembered. It’s just a soft blur that prequels his soft bed, his soft kisses, his soft pets.
Seo-joon is being gentler than he was at the club.
Under the hazy hue of the club lights, the strong hands that tugged at the straps of your dress were confident, cunning, audacious, and assertive. Boldly expectant of the outcome he was so sure he would get.
Under his sheets, those same hands are… not exactly timid, but ginger with their eagerness. Delicate, imploring, coy, and suggestive; tactfully encouraging, rather than expecting, the outcome that he hopes for. The way his hips brush against yours is unhurried and intentional. The crass, dirty movements from before that were careless and unrefined are long gone. Now he’s patient. Grinding into you slowly, deliberate.
However, the change in pace, in the scenery, and in his demeanor– none of it makes the kisses taste any sweeter; none of it makes the touches feel any better; none of it makes anything good enough in the effortless way you long for.
It’s counterintuitive but the lack of ease, paired with the desire for it, just makes you try harder. Redouble your efforts.
You press your lips against his in a kiss that’s harder, dig your nails into his shoulders with a grip that’s harder. When you cant your hips up against his just so– you do it harder. He gets a little harder in his pants, and the thoughts in your head get a little harder to ignore. Faking gets harder and pretending does too.
Seo-joon is smart enough. He’s probably been around enough, too. With experience under his belt, it doesn’t take him long to sense the shift. The way your energy dulls, the slight tension tugging at your frame underneath him. But still, it doesn’t stop him from testing the waters one more time, giving you a few more unsure, assessing kisses.
To no avail.
With furrowed brows, he pulls away. Seo-joon doesn’t look angry, though. Just confused as he braces himself on his forearms, lifting himself just enough to be able to take you in, most of his body weight still resting atop you.
He clears his throat. “You don’t uh– you don’t really… seem to be– into this? Anymore? Into me?”
Your expression probably mirrors his. Confused, and maybe a little lost as you study him. Because he’s handsome. Almost unbelievably so, with his high cheekbones and sharp eyes; his nose and mouth that appear perfectly placed; his smooth, airbrushed skin.
You should be into him. Superficially at the very least.
But you just aren’t because even though he is handsome, flawless even, he’s attractive in a very ordinary, classical way. There doesn’t seem to be anything signature about Seo-joon’s features.
When he smiled at the club, it was idyllic and exactly symmetrical. His cheeks filled out, but just enough. His teeth –a dentist’s dream– were pristine, perfectly proportioned, and all of them just the right size. So white that they were almost beaming in the dim lights.
And even now, when he attempts an uneasy one to shake awkwardness it’s… fine. His plush lips are fine and his straight nose is fine and his even brows are fine and everything about Seo-joon is perfectly fine.
But, to you, he’s not really anything special.
Surface level, Seo-joon’s perfectly fine. But so are so many other perfectly fine, classically beautiful, ordinary men. There’s nothing that sets him apart. No defining characteristics, nothing about Seo-joon that makes him him.
Yet you can’t stop yourself from thinking that even if there were, it wouldn’t matter.
Because you already know what makes someone special to you.
You’re well aware of the distinctive features that make your heart flutter. Like when someone smiles and their bottom lip tugs down just a hint farther on the left side. Or when they get little rounds under their eyes and scrunch their nose when they laugh. When he has things about himself that are slightly imperfect. Like big front teeth or a barely off-center freckle under his bottom lip. Like the deep scar on his cheek that he got from his brother when they were little. Or the faint one by his eyebrow from the piercing he had in college that had to be taken out before it was yanked out by a tiny hand.
The man you’re sharing a bed with could be the most uniquely attractive person on earth and it wouldn’t make a difference. It still wouldn’t make him special– not to you.
He’s not what you want.
You hum when you admit it to yourself.
“I’m not.”
Momentarily, Seo-joon looks taken aback by your seemingly rash rethink, but he takes your drunken bluntness in stride. He gives you a forced smile before he hangs his head in an apologetic bow, shifting from on top of you to lay next to you. “I see, I’m sorry if I assumed or overstepped or made you feel like you had to come home with m–”
Seo-joon sounds guilty, and it surprises you when a hint of guilt starts to bloom in your chest.
“You didn’t!” you interrupt, “I thought I was into you… or like I should be into you…”
His eyebrow quirks and he just looks at you.
“Ah…” you muse awkwardly, scanning the room.
It’s so very bachelor. Dark furniture, a big tv mounted on the wall, a little bar cart off to the side next to the mini fridge that’s kinda big to be called ‘mini’. Nothing personal at all that could tell you anything about him, except the boxers on the floor that tells you he prefers Armani. No hint as to what his goals or his hobbies are.
Perhaps it's a good thing you didn’t sleep with Seo-joon. Guys like him have the most brutal post-nut clarity and you’re not sure you could take another grown man hurting your feelings.
“I just don’t want you to think like– I don’t know? That you did something wrong? Or that you like coerced me into coming h–”
“Wait, I didn’t think that–”
“–I’m the one that should be sorry!” you assure him, “Because I don’t think I actually went out to try and forget someone; I think I was trying to find them?”
A couple of stilted seconds pass.
“In… me?” he asks, like he’s mentally trying to puzzle the pieces together.
“I guess? Maybe replace them with you? Or like… use you… as a placeholder?” You wince helplessly at your choice of words, unable to stop them before they spill out.
Seo-joon’s confusion is replaced by a quick, bright laugh which is followed by a small smile that seems almost pitying.
“You’re still young–”
You physically cannot stop the way you interrupt him with.
“Please shut the fuck up.”
The tired words are spat tartly before you can clench your teeth around them. It’s probably a defense mechanism– you’re not quite sure you can handle another grown man being mean to you, but you’re almost very sure that you can’t handle one lecturing you about how young you are, about how much life you still have left to live, about how your youth makes it difficult to know what you really want, about how–
“Whoa,” he laughs. He’s on his side, his head propped up on his palm. He eyes you for a moment before he tugs the strap of your bra back up, haphazardly covering you again. “Sore spot?”
Pulling his sheets up for good measure, you pout. “He was older.”
Seo-joon makes a noise of understanding. “Older like… older brother’s friends older? Or older like met him at your dad’s work party older?”
Heat floods the rounds of your cheeks and you look anywhere but at the man next to you. No photos in frames. Not even a dvd collection that could tell you what type of movies he likes.
“He’s like– dad old,” you murmur, chancing a glance at Seo-joon only to see him pull a queasy-looking face, and then you’re backtracking to defend yourself. “But only like baby-dad old! Not like– teenager-dad old!”
He looks unconvinced. “How big’s the gap?”
“7 years?” you try.
Seo-joon goes from unconvinced to shocked and then to puzzled. “That’s like… nothing? Probably around our gap too?”
Your hands fly up and you scoff a little as you exasperate, “That’s what I said!”
He joins in and you both laugh in his bed until the giggles putter out into lazy silence. You’re pulling at a little tuft of lint when he hums.
“He told you that you were too young?”
You open your mouth to reply immediately, but then hesitate.
Because your age was part of it. Of course, it was, but was it all of it? Was it the root of it?
“I mean you are; not too young, just… young. But–” Seo-joon grins smugly, giving you a pointed look when he sees you scowl, “–youth isn’t a bad thing. And you’re smart. I meant it when I said that.”
Rolling your eyes, you say, “We literally just met–”
“Yeah, and?” he counters, just for the sake of it because he still doesn’t allow a reply. “We only just met and I could already tell that you were smart. Even though I tried, I knew my… methods wouldn’t work on you. You read me like an open book,” he repeats what he said earlier that night, before speaking slowly like he’s spelling something out for you. “and I’m sure I’m not the only one you’re able to read like that?”
Your scowl intensifies. “What are you getting at?”
“This boy you’re trying to ‘forget’? ‘Find’?” The hand that’s not supporting him comes up and he makes some air quotes. His tone is a little softer, like maybe he’s trying to be gentle. Or maybe he’s just tired of talking to you. You can’t be sure.
“I feel like you’re smart enough to know if the whole thing is worth it or not. How long ago was it?”
“A month or 2… give or take 17 days…” you mumble, avoiding his gaze.
“Okay. But yeah… that’s a good chunk of time…” he says around a quick yawn. Then he hums thoughtfully to himself. “I feel like you could think back and read the situation a bit more clearly now? Like, reassess it to… you know… I don’t know just figure stuff out…”
“‘You know, I don’t know’, ‘Just figure stuff out’, ” you mimic dryly, “That’s all the advice you have to offer me when you’ve lived lifetimes longer than me?”
“Listen, you can’t hate all men because of one man–”
“Yes, I ca–”
“Okay but, you don’t even hate that one man? That’s the whole issue?” Seo-joon interrupts. He lilts his tone up in an inquisitive manner, like he wants you to confirm.
You refuse and choose to reply with petulant silence.
“Exactly. C’mon, use that big, smart brain in that pretty, little head of yours,” he encourages, “Look back and just figure stuff out. It might be hard, but not as hard as you think. I feel like time away from what we think we need or want, always puts things into perspective. Distance makes the heart fonder, or–” He pauses for dramatic effect. “It makes the heart indifferent.”
Not rolling your eyes is a feat, but you manage. “Clearly my heart did not become indifferent if I am laid up with you and still going on about it.”
Seo-joon hums again, carries on some more. But you’re not paying attention because maybe time didn’t put things into perspective, but his words just did.
Distance and time make the heart indifferent.
Jeongguk hasn’t been to your store once since you left his house.
You frown, connecting imaginary dots as a little wrinkle sprouts between your brows. “He hasn’t come to see me since he cut things off.”
Seo-joon pauses mid-sentence, mimes your expression. “Did you expect him to?”
You pause now.
“Um… kinda?” you start. Rolling to your side you copy his position so you can look at him. “I mean, I work at the grocery store he would normally shop at,” you explain, before tacking on, “That’s where we met. He lost his baby and I found her… Or– she found me I guess.”
A small twinge of pain pricks your heart at the mention of Nari. You wonder if she’s talking, or if she’s at least getting closer. If she still doesn’t keep the sock on her left foot, or if she’s grown out of that nerve-wracking yet endearing little habit of hers.
What Dasom said about Nari getting attached comes to mind and you hope the little one is doing well. It hurts a little to think about, but you hope for her sake, that she didn’t get too attached or too sad when you stopped coming around. You hope she forgot you quickly.
“Anyway,” you say, “Guess that means his heart became indifferent.”
Giving a half-hearted shrug with a single shoulder, aiming to come off unbothered. Trying to act indifferent yourself, and like your heart didn’t just drop. You blink a couple of times in an attempt to clear the glassiness you know is cloaking your eyes and offer a weak smile.
Regarding you with a slightly concerned color to his features, Seo-joon chooses to not address the passing mention of a misplaced child or the fact that you’re very close to crying while half-naked in his bed. Decidedly, he says, “I’m not sure if I would call avoidance indifference.”
You sniffle. “Huh?”
His eyes narrow and he looks like he’s debating something internally. Then he sighs. “Listen, I’m not trying to encourage you to wait for him or go back to him. Or like… give you false hope–”
“Gee, thanks–”
“No really,” he stresses, “because that genuinely could be nothing. Men are a bit dense. They do things that may seem calculated, but in actuality, they’re just daft and it didn’t even cross their mind. But in my opinion,” he continues slowly, a bit hesitantly, “Choosing to not go to the grocery store he –I’m assuming– frequented regularly? Right after a breakup?” He sucks a bit of air in through his teeth before he shakes his head. “Yeah, that seems like a very deliberate choice.”
“Like indifference would be more–” he continues before pausing briefly to choose the right words, “I picture indifference as more of– him still going to your work, despite the breakup, because he just doesn’t give a fuck.”
Whatever words you were planning to say get caught in your throat and you cough out a short laugh at Seo-joon’s straightforwardness.
He grins a little. “Right? Because that’s what it is– a lack of interest, lack of concern. Like he just doesn’t care one way or the other about you being there because you’re not important enough for him to be affected by you.”
You know he’s speaking in hypotheticals, but it still sours your expression. Makes your lips pull down at the corners.
“Personally, if I were him and I was truly indifferent, truly unbothered,” he places his hand on his bare chest, “you being there or not being there wouldn’t be significant enough for me to alter my routine.”
Your eyes flit quickly over Seo-joon’s torso. His gesture causes the sheet to fall slightly, pooling at the subtle curve of his waist. There’s a faint warmth flooding your cheeks as you swiftly and intently bring your gaze back up.
You swallow before replying with a simple, “Ah… yes… that makes perfect sense.”
Playfully, Seo-joon scowls at you. “You sure you don’t want to fuck?”
“Yup.”
“It may help–”
“Nope, don’t think it will actually.”
He shrugs, an amused grin still lingering. “Suit yourself–”
“I feel like your post-nut clarity would hurt my feelings and I’m vulnerable right now.”
It’s silent for 1, 2, 3 seconds before Seo-joon’s loud laughter echoes in his room. Failing to keep a straight face, he rolls on his back and rests his head on his pillow as he lets himself laugh to his heart’s content. Then he inhales deeply and scrubs a hand over his face and swipes a finger beneath his bottom lashes; catching his breath and regaining his composure and wiping away the wetness under his eyes.
A few seconds pass before he’s turning his head to look at you with a quiet smile. It feels a bit too tender, too sincere, and too heartfelt, for what was supposed to be a one-night-stand.
“See,” he says softly, “told you you were smart.”
You just look at him, trying to read him like he’s so sure you can. There doesn’t seem to be any ulterior motives, just him being genuinely kind to you because he wants to be. And for some reason that makes your eyes burn.
“If it doesn’t hurt too badly to revisit everything that went on with the boy,” Seo-joon begins, interrupting the light hush that settled between the two of you, “I really feel like you’ll be able to see things clearer; read the situation better. Figure stuff out. And then, things will start to fall into place for you. Everything will start to make a little more sense. You’ll know if you’re wasting your time being hung up on him, and if it’s worth your happiness. You’ll know if looking for him is worth the effort, and you’ll be sure that ‘finding’ him is actually what you want after all.”
You’re definitely going to cry.
“And when I said you were still young, and that your youth wasn’t a bad thing,” he continues, “I meant that if you decide that you do want to look for him, and you do find him again– you still have enough time to try with him again.”
With a wobbly bottom lip, you feel your features slowly morph into a scowl.
It’s self-directed because it’s then that you think about what’s happening and how ridiculous it all seems.
Because why are you on the tail end of being drunk, half-naked in the bed of a grown man who you met just hours ago? Why are you telling him bits and pieces about the person he was supposed to distract you from? The person that caused you the most delicately painful ache that’s been festering for months? Why are letting this man give you advice? Why are you letting him comfort you? And why does it feel like he’s done a better job of it by just listening to you for the last few hours, than friends you’ve had for years?
And why do you feel like you’re going to cry about it?
The self-directed scowl morphs to a Seo-joon-directed glare.
“He’s not a boy,” you begin in a voice that shakes just a hint, arguing just to be difficult, “he’s a man with the cutest baby and he’s 30 now and–” The urge to cry cuts you off and you feel the first tear leak from the corner of your eye.
Seo-joon’s soft, sincere smile turns slightly sad as he tracks the salty drop. “Hey, don’t cry–”
“Shut-up,” you spout, your tone somewhere in between short and like you’re begging him to be quiet because it was him speaking that brought you to this state in the first place.
A short staring contest ensues.
“Also– I bet you would’ve been the worst fucking one-night stand,” you add on for good measure.
Seo-joon’s ability to keep from laughing is impressive. It’s only for a second that an amused smile overtakes his features– a natural reflex he isn’t able to stop. But it’s barely there at all before he’s schooling his features into something that he hopes looks receptive, like he’s taking in what you’re saying, absorbing it like it’s Gospel.
But he’s also a curious motherfucker, and he wants to know why you think that.
“That is baseless and an unfounded assumption,” he defends himself, because he may be receptive, but he is also a damn good one-night stand. “With that being said, please tell me why you feel that way.”
“Because I’m crying! And it’s because of you! You and your making of us bare our fucking souls during pillowtalk! Who does that?!”
It’s huffy and snippy and you both know you’re being mean just for the sake of it.
With lips pressed into a tight, smile-proof line, Seo-joon nods easily; agreeable and understanding.
He knows you’re fragile and that you’re tired– so he chooses not to voice how he considers what you talked about very surface level. How he thinks you may be more hurt and affected by whatever took place between you and this guy than you even realize yet. How he feels like you still have so much to work through, so much to learn.
Seo-joon lets you win and reminds himself that, right now, it’s not his job to help you soothe the things that hurt or fix the things that are broken. Reminds himself that you’re smart enough to figure stuff out on your own.
There’s a brief lull in the conversation that’s not as awkward or tense as it probably should be.
You sniffle. Then you hiccup.
And Seo-joon laughs, loud and brash and fond as he leans towards you. He gives you what feels like a platonic kiss on your forehead.
“Can I get your number?”
~~~
It’s an early Thursday morning in late January and Jeongguk is feeling troubled. Plagued, if you will, as he towels off after his morning shower. Plagued with the ever-growing, ever-evolving urge to check up on you. To see how you’re doing.
Lurking, as Taehyung calls it, doesn’t happen all that often. Jeongguk makes a point to not let himself do it daily. Or even weekly. It was his New Year’s resolution, in fact. That being said, it’s been exactly 12 days since he’s used his friend’s 8-year-old son’s instagram account to see what you’ve been up to.
Typically, he can talk himself out of the sudden notion. Put it off until he forgets, or just doesn’t feel he needs to so badly anymore. Currently, however, he’s blaming his inability to nix the restlessness in his fingertips on the fact that he hasn’t had Nari around to keep him busy. It’s been a long week.
Because Jeonggk’s been doing his best to keep himself from opening your page for what feels like days. Resisting the pesky pull even though he doubts you’ve even posted. Out of the times he’s given in over the last few weeks, he thinks you’ve posted maybe once. And it was just a picture of some clouds at that– vaguely heart-shaped, wispy, white puffs against sky-blue. The caption was just two emojis, the wind-face lady next to the white heart.
So frankly, even though he’s not exactly keen on how strong and itchy the urge to check on you is– he’s also not exactly sure why he’s fighting it. Not when merely scratching it isn’t going to change anything.
After shrugging on his work blazer, Jeongguk admits defeat– his inner demons having won yet again. He resigns to apathetic, easily accepted complacency as he swipes through the pages on his home screen till he gets to the very last one that houses the small, sunset-colored camera app. He figures he should probably just get it over with.
As he touches the application open, Jeongguk reasons that he’s just been putting off the inevitable– that he knows an itch can’t be ignored and that it won’t be quelled until it’s scratched or soothed. Tells himself that a quick peek before heading out for work won’t matter.
As he clicks on the mini magnifying glass at the bottom of the screen, Jeongguk reminds himself of lurking’s insignificance. Thinks back to all the times he’s done it before and how it never made a difference.
As he sorts through the random selection of 8-year-old boy searches till he finds your user in the mix, he reassures himself that checking on you won’t do anything but alleviate the nagging in the back of his head and the tingling in his fingertips.
As he taps your profile, he convinces himself that lurking will be relieving and nothing more.
As Jeongguk sees that you have posted, he realizes that this time, lurking does matter and that he is so very stupid for assuming it would bring him relief.
The picture is blurry, not unlike a handful of others he’s seen on your feed.
But the setting captured is new. The pink-tinted lighting isn’t familiar, and neither is the purple and blue hues. The crowd you captured is much more… abundant than what he’s become accustomed to seeing when he pulls up your page.
Jeongguk scans the photo for just a bit longer and then swipes to the next one in the post. This one is the final stupid nail in the coffin of Jeongguk’s stupid demise. The couple shot glasses grouped together in blurry cheers are all the confirmation he needs to know exactly where you were. His eyes flick to your caption, and then his features pull into a pensive frown with furrowed brows.
BUT FOUR DRINKS IM WASTED !!
Jeongguk taps open the comments.
flickthebinna: you’ve had exactly two (2) shots
ocstagram: i am Wasted !! 🤬
jadedjade: can u let her be wasted and focus on getting our drinks @flickthebinna 🤨
He can’t help but chuckle at your and your friends’ interactions, but as he closes the app he catches himself doing a certain habit of his. The little tick where he tilts his head and juts his jaw out quickly. His telltale sign of irritation.
Irritated with himself, of course. Partly because of the obvious. The spying (from a child’s social media account nonetheless), the moping that he’s been doing for months, the procrastinating and avoiding that’s been going on for almost just as long.
But also because he feels so embarrassingly immature for allowing what he finds out from the spying to affect him so deeply. It seems so very juvenile to get this worked up over an instagram post.
He’s irritated at the emotional rush and the way his hands are shaking. At the way his mind is jumping to conclusions and conjuring up all sorts of sour scenarios. He’s irritated with himself for the way unwarranted jealousy burns in his chest.
The irritation stews; sits in the passenger seat as he makes the drive to work– right next to the sudden instinct to act on a restless whim. The irritation festers; accompanies the worsening impulsive urge that makes it hard to think and ultimately pushes him to make a wrong turn.
The irritation is only sated when he pulls up to a curb and his car comes to a stop.
Jeongguk’s irritated with himself for a lot of things. But mostly because it took him so long to get here.
~~~
He’s not sure why he anticipated you answering the door. Karma wouldn’t be so kind, and he wouldn’t be so lucky. Obviously.
“And why the fuck are you here?” This is how Binna greets him, after taking him in with a groggy, borderline bored stare.
With a wince, Jeongguk tries, “Hi Binna–”
“Don’t you have a job?” she interrupts, the volume of her tone increasing with every word. “Aren’t you so busy? So busy, in fact, that it’s so hard to find the time for–”
He opens his mouth to try and get a word in but stops abruptly. So does Binna when she feels a soft hand on her shoulder, and hears a grumpy ‘Why are you being so loud?’.
Right in front of him, you’re still half-asleep. Drowsily using the sleeve of the oversized sweatshirt you’re wearing to rub over your face tiredly. Seeing as he decided to show up at a little past 8 in the morning.
After a few slow, dreamy blinks, you direct your attention to Jeongguk and he feels like he can’t breathe.
It’s unconscious, how his lips turn up a smidge when he really sees you for the first time in what feels like forever. When he sees the warmth that lives inside of you color your skin with the softest, natural flush.
Jeongguk is still so jealous.
He watches you and he studies you. Now that he’s not relying on his memories or the pictures in his camera roll or the ones on your socials– he’s trying to pick out what’s the still same; how you’ve changed. Your hair is a bit longer, a shade or two darker as well. Maybe it’s the big hoodie you’ve got on, but you look smaller than he remembers. In his chest, he feels his heart tug but he can’t dwell on it too much as he refocuses on your features beginning to stir.
They shift from dazedly blank to shocked, as if your still-sleepy brain has just now registered him being there, and the smallest gasp sounds from your lips. Then an expression that’s a cross between confused and angry takes the place of prior surprise. The doe-ish look becomes sharp and stern; your narrowed eyes are framed above by scrunched brows and below by shadowy circles. Your mouth goes from slack with your plush lips barely parted, to pouty and pursed in a deep frown.
Jeongguk knows he should say something.
Explain.
Say sorry.
Ask for forgiveness.
But he feels mute, like his heart is stuck in his throat. Like he can’t do anything but stand there and hope you show him a little bit of undeserved grace. That you give him a moment, and then another, to get himself together. Even though he’s had too many moments already to do exactly that.
In the few seconds that go by you shoo your roommate, and after she’s gone, your face changes once again. Softening just enough to not be so harsh. You stand in your doorway as he flounders and you watch with intent, almost curious, anticipation. And Jeongguk doesn’t want to be too optimistic– but he thinks there might be a hint of relief, an inkling of eager, hopeful expectation hiding in the way you’re looking at him.
As if you’ve been waiting for him; wanting him– and now he’s finally here; almost yours.
He’s so caught up in that –the minute chance of reconciliation that he only thinks he caught a glimpse of– that he doesn’t get out of his head until the movement of your shoulders slumping, and your chest deflating rips him out of it.
Jeongguk would prefer the air your demeanor carried just moments ago. The quiet, masked hopefulness you gave off before you made yourself smaller and breathed that tiny, dejected sigh. God, he would even take the calloused, puzzled hostility you had when you first realized it was him in standing in your doorway. Anything over how you look currently.
Definitely disappointed, maybe a little bit embarrassed, and just so sad.
It’s what he expected, at least to some extent. He’s foolish, but he can only fool himself so much. There’s a limit on how many fantasies of effortless forgiveness he can have before he has to face reality.
Jeongguk knew you would be sad, and he knew you would be disappointed. He was ready to take responsibility for the role he played because he was so sure that it would be his fault.
But what makes how you’re looking at him right now so awful, so unbearable– is that you’re looking at him like it has nothing to do with him.
You don’t look disappointed in him. You don’t look sad because of him.
It looks internal, so personal.
Like you’re sad because you naively allowed yourself to hope– let it glimmer, shining so obvious in your eyes. Only for the brightness to dim, snuffed out by the foolishness that so often goes hand in hand with naivety.
Like you’re sad because as soon as you saw him, you had expectations– preconceived notions about how it would go when he came back, how he would act. Only to learn that with enough preconceived notions, you can turn expectations into daydreams.
Maybe that’s why you look a little embarrassed, too. Because you so quickly let yourself hope, like a child who hasn’t learned from their mistakes. Because you immediately conjured up expectation-disguised daydreams of Jeongguk. Still, after all this time. After everything he’s done, you still expected good from him.
You look like you’re disappointed in yourself, not him, because you should have known better.
He doesn’t find his voice until you’re shaking your head like he’s let you down. Until you’re turning away from him and edging the door closed.
“I’m sorry!”
Jeongguk blurts the words out, and he didn’t say much but his chest is heaving and he’s got this frantic way about him and a panicky feeling flooding his veins. When you look up, surprise flashes across your face, but it’s gone in an instant and is replaced by incredulous anger. Like you can’t believe him.
Despite your trying to stand your ground and hold his gaze, a gleam still shines in your eyes.
“I am,” he assures breathlessly, his eyes darting across your face, “I’m so sorry, ___. And–”
When Jeongguk tells you he misses you, he notices how you almost flinch. How your eyes snap shut tightly –like you can feel his words, but still aren’t sure if they’re real or if they’re true; like you’re scared of finding out– and the heavy tears pooling on your lashline finally spill over.
As the salty droplets drip down the apples of your cheeks, Jeongguk feels an ache that hurts so badly that it’s visceral. Like if he could crack open his chest, he could get a hand on the it and just rip the pain out and make it go away. If only that was the case.
“I–” you start, but your voice gives out. You clear your throat with a small cough, and talk to the ground because it’s easier to talk to than him. “Maybe we’re better like this, Gguk.”
Jeongguk’s heart drops, and it’s a struggle to get out even just a whispered a plea of your name.
When you speak up this time, you force your eyes to meet his. Your brows are upturned and your bottom lip quivers for just a second before you take a deep, self-soothing, breath and school your features into a facade of indifference and resolve.
“I hope Nari’s been okay. And you. I hope you’ve been okay, too.”
Jeongguk’s brows furrow. He’s confused but gives you an unsteady nod. “She– she’s good, yeah.”
You scan his face, trying to keep your own expression neutral. But how he only mentions Nari and not himself doesn’t evade you. A faint heartache murmurs in your chest, but you mimic his nod. “That’s good. I’m glad–”
“What about you? Have you been okay?”
Jeongguk’s words come out overhasty and too eager. But after such a long time of replaying old dialogues in his head– talking to you just feels so nice. He doesn’t want to stop, even if the conversation feels stilted and trivial. He’s still going to hang on to every little marginal thing you say, and he’s still going to do his best to keep the empty words flowing between you.
He doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath while he awaits your answer. Not until he hears you say, “Yeah, I’m happy, I think” and the air inside his lungs vacates. Making room for a thick cloud of melancholy that isn’t surprising, but still makes it hard to breathe all the same.
Guilt mingles with the suffocating hurt because you being happy shouldn’t make him sad.
But then you smile and Jeongguk responds with a frown and a skeptical shake of his head.
Because the smile– it’s so fake, so unconvincingly artificial and staged that when it turns your eyes to half moons and causes their corners to crinkle– it also forces a fresh wave of tears to tumble down your cry-flushed cheeks.
He doesn’t believe you, but that’s no surprise. You’ve never been a good liar.
A dim, defeated laugh putters from your lips. Trying to portray nonchalance, you give him a weak, half-hearted shrug, like you know you’ve been caught but it can’t be helped.
He knows it hurts you to dismiss him. He can hear it in your shaky, wispy tone when you say, “Take care, Gguk.”
Take care Gguk.
Jeongguk knows it’s a ‘goodbye’. A goodbye that he’s having trouble processing.
It feels like a lifetime, but really it’s only a few seconds that Jeongguk stands there trying to make sense of your words. It’s only a few more before the door closes on him.
Jeongguk couldn’t process the goodbye, but the telltale click of the door locking somehow makes perfect sense.
~~~
Like you are the starlet of your very own coming of age, lifetime, hallmark romance drama– you don’t let yourself cry until your back is pressed against the closed door. Then you cover your mouth to keep quiet as you slide down the wood.
The moment is short-lived.
“Where’s Jeongguk?”
The voice seemingly comes from nowhere, and you jump slightly before swearing and directing your puffy, bloodshot eyes at your roommates. They both have their head peeking out from behind the kitchen wall. Nosy.
“What do you mean ‘where’s Jeongguk?’” you groan, knocking your head back against the wood.
Binna and Jade exchange a look.
“Are you guys like… not gonna… talk?”
You slow blink at them a single time.
An awkward quiet permeates the pumpkin-spice-scented air of your shared home. It’s not even Fall anymore.
“Well,” Binna starts, and then cuts herself off like she spoke before she knew what she wanted to say. She elbows your other housemate. “Jade?”
Jade gives you an instinctive, reactionary smile that’s far too big. “I mean… communication is key… right? And that’s mainly what was lacking before? Talking now could give you the oppurtunity to say all the things you’ve been wanting to. And maybe he can explain his side–”
Binna raises a hand to cut her off, “Too much credit, he is still a man.”
“Fair but–”
The two bicker for a bit before looking at you again.
“Wait, did you not want to work things out?”
You roll your eyes. “Of course I wanted to.”
“Of course you did,” Jade agrees easily.
“Of course you did,” Binna mimics before groaning and asking, “So why the hell is he not here, and why the hell are you not talking and ‘working things out’?”
Crossing your arms, your posture becomes defensive. “Wouldn’t that be too easy? Like he shows up at my door after all these months of virtual silence and I just let him in? Aren’t I supposed to make him grovel and cry and beg?”
“You have to let the man speak for him to be able to grovel and cry and beg, I’m afraid…” Binna informs.
The narrowing of your eyes is the simple response she gets. Only because Jade speaks up before you can.
“You know…” Jades starts, then ponders momentarily. “If it was you that showed up at his house out of the blue at 8 in the morning on a weekday? Then yeah,” she nods to herself, “I would say that it was too easy for him. But he came back to you. And just talking to him?” she shakes her head, “That’s not forgiving him. He still has a lot of work to do– and you should make him prove himself. Prove that he’s grown and changed,” Jade says before she gives you a gentle smile. “But him knocking on the door was also him taking the first step.”
He came back to you.
It’s what you wanted. But now that it’s happening, you have no clue what to do next.
You don’t know what to say. Are you supposed to lie and tell him you’re thankful that he pushed you away; that it helped you realize that he was right? That you are too young? That you’re happier without him, better off being free like he wanted you to be?
Or do you tell him the truth? Do you tell him about how hard it was without him? About how painful it was to go from having so much of him, all of the time– to not having none of him at all, ever? Do you come clean about how hollow and lost being alone made you feel? Do you tell him about how much it hurt every time you thought about how all it took was a few words from his ex– and you were gone; cut out so easily and carelessly? Do you admit that it still hurts to remember?
You don’t know what to do. Do you resist the fight you’re expected to make him put up? Or do you not fight it much at all and welcome him with a second chance and a fresh start? Do you pretend like you didn’t miss him? Like you didn’t fantasize about him coming back? That you didn’t look for pieces of him everywhere you went; in everybody you met?
You don’t know how to feel. Happy because he came to you? Sad that it took so long? Scared because him coming back is just another chance for him to leave again?
You were already crying, but the trickle of tears grows steadier. The sleeve of your sweatshirt is swiped angrily at your eyes, the light grey material dampened a few shades darker.
“Bro,” you cry, “I can’t even look at him without crying, I’m not gonna be able to talk to him. It hurts too bad.”
Jade looks down at you, gives you a pity pout. “If it’s any consolation, I think he will cry too.”
Binna agrees with a sympathetic nod of her head. “He’s probably hurting just like you, but it’s what he deserves.
“___,” Jades speaks up again, “It doesn’t have to be so– painstaking. Like you don’t have to drive yourself mad thinking about what you should do. Just do what you want to do. If you want to talk to him, then talk to him.” She shrugs like it’s really that simple.
And maybe it is.
~~~
It definitely isn’t.
Because if it was, you would not have opened with, quote, ‘I let you put your finger in my ass’, unquote.
And Jeongguk wouldn’t have replied with a slow, painfully dumb sounding: ‘I– yes… I remember…?’
You don’t even really know how it happened.
One second you’re hit with a burst of inspired adrenaline and then the next you’re knocking the wind out of both you and Jeongguk by barreling into his chest. The collision must have knocked the sense out of you, too. It’s the only explanation for your behavior.
All the same, the blame can’t be entirely yours– Jeongguk has to take some of it. He was standing directly outside of your door, after all. He claims he was working up the courage to knock again but that’s beside the point.
You keep your thoughts to yourself, as you pretend not to catch the way that he rolls his lips between his teeth to keep a smile off his face when you lead him into your room and slyly try to kick a few things under your bed. A stuffed animal, a bra. A few too many socks.
It’s a stupid attempt to make your space look a little more tidy and less like you’ve been rotting in it for the last few months. The room’s not too messy by any means; definitely not unkempt enough for you to feel embarrassed or like you need to straighten it up to impress him. But you hope he chalks it up to your nerves getting the best of you.
He’s nervous, too. If how awkward he’s being is anything to go by.
Just standing at the foot of your bed with his hands in his pockets while you situate yourself in front of your headboard. He doesn’t take a seat until you pat the mattress a little, letting him know it’s okay and that you want him to.
There’s a quiet hush that fills the space. It’s slightly tense, but it’s not entirely uncomfortable; stilted but somehow familiar.
You’re sitting with one leg dangling and a pillow in your lap. It’s hugged to your chest. Perhaps a make-shift shield to put something between you and Jeongguk. Fiddling with a loose pillowcase string helps you avoid eye contact by making you look occupied.
Jeongguk’s sat before you, stiff and looking down at the floor between his feet. Similarly evading your gaze just like you’re doing with his. He’s clenching and unclenching his hands, rubbing his palms restlessly over the material of his slacks.
Thinking back, Jeongguk feels like he did so much of the talking that night in his living room. Probably too much, if he’s being honest. He feels he never really gave you the time to say your side or a proper chance to explain yourself.
So this time, he wants to let you do most of the talking. Let you be the one to initiate, at the very least. He wants to give you all the time you need to start the discussion how and when you want, with what you want and feel has precedence.
Jeongguk stays patient right up until you say in a huff, “Well say something, I’m obviously not good at this.”
His lips twitch at your stubborn, slightly irritated tone.
“You’re the one that showed up at my house when I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be at work, so,” you wave your hand at him, indicating you want him to get on with it. “Must have something important to say.”
The small laugh he allows himself is barely a chuckle, but it tumbles from his lips before he can stop it. Blames it on instinct and the simple fact that he just misses you.
“It is important,” he confirms, giving into your bait and starting the conversation for you. He considers staying quiet, getting another little reaction out of you, but he reminds himself that this isn’t the time for that. If he plays his cards right, maybe then he’ll be able to joke with you. But as of now, that’s not his place anymore.
Shifting to face you a little more, so that when he says, “I wanted to apologize to you, ___,” you have his full attention.
When he speaks, you don’t look at him. Instead, you only give him the faintest nod with your eyes cast down. Still fixed on the pillow in your lap. But Jeongguk notices how your lashes flutter quickly before you press your eyelids together tightly; just like you did earlier when he said that he missed you.
Your shoulders lift when you take a deep inhale, and your face is more or less neutral when your eyes meet his.
“It’s been months,” you tell him.
As if he doesn’t know. As if he hasn’t been driving himself mad day in and day out trying to muster up the courage to do precisely this; as if time doing what time does hasn’t been the bane of his existence. Because with each passing day, he knew he was that much closer to going from ‘it’s been so long’ to ‘it’s been too long’. He’s all too aware of just how long it’s been.
Regardless, he doesn’t want to give you excuses; choosing to be easily agreeable. He offers a small tilt of his head as acknowledgment.
“Why now?” you question him.
Jeongguk tries to keep the sadness off of his face when he hears how you sound.
The tone of your voice is unsure; hurt. But the pain is elusive. Only heard when your subtle heartache peeks through the veil of composure you’re trying to hide behind.
While he racks his mind for a worthy explanation, his eyes scan yours. Overflowing with so many different emotions and so expressive just like he remembers.
“I wish–” he begins, “I wish that I could tell you that I’ve been working toward this for ages and that I thought through all the steps and knew exactly what I wanted to say to you…” He gives a small self-deprecating chuckle, “But I can’t tell you that. After earlier, it’s clear that I didn’t have any idea or plan,” he offers you his bared palms. “I wish I had a good reason for ‘why now’, but I don’t.”
Your brows furrow with affronted confusion. Jeongguk speaks up before you can.
“That’s not to say that I haven’t been thinking about this since you left–”
“I didn’t leave, you got rid of me–”
The correction is hissed before you snap your mouth shut like you didn’t mean to say it. But you don’t take the words back and Jeongguk can’t control his expression this time. His face falls and he sighs as he looks down at the pattern on his pants.
“I’ve been thinking about this since I told you to leave,” he tries again, slowly. When you don’t comment again after a small pause, he continues, “but I wasn’t actively figuring out how to do it. I’ve come to learn that plans are essentially useless, so planning out what to say to you seemed pointless. In hindsight, it just made me look stupid,” he muses.
“Honestly, having you on a constant loop in my mind wasn’t intentional; I didn’t want that,” Jeongguk admits. But he doesn’t even chance a glance, not keen to see your worsening scowl. “Remembering you just made me so miserable? Like, thinking about you all the time made me miss you all the time. And missing you made me so fucking sad– like the kind of sad you can feel? Like it hurt to think about you. But you never left my head, so the hurt never went away…”
Jeongguk’s words slowly come to halt, his cheeks reddening to a bright cherry when he realizes that he’s rambling. As he’s mentally trying to dull his blush to something more faint and less conspicuous, he notes that your expression changed. You still look a bit angry, but now, there’s a pastel hue. A soft, muted sadness toning down the harshness.
He stumbles a little when he says, “I– Truthfully– I guess the–” Then he takes a quick, staccato breath mid-sentence to get himself together. “I guess the most truthful explanation for why I took so long is… avoidance? And guilt? Fear?”
When he frustratedly combs a hand through his hair, he pretends not to notice how it’s shaking. And he’s grateful that you don’t mention it when you track his movement.
The conversation gets stuck in a momentary limbo while Jeongguk thinks about what he said. It’s the truth. He was scared before– it’s what got him in this mess and it’s what kept him away for weeks too long. But he’s still scared. Despite getting the most intimidating part over with –actually coming to you after finally working up the nerve to– the fear of fucking up still hasn’t waned.
He’s still just as scared as he was.
Scared of saying the wrong thing. Of not being able to put what he feels into the right words. Of not being able to convey how truly fucking sorry he is for hurting you, how much he regrets it. He’s scared of hurting you again. Scared of you not forgiving him for the first time he did.
He is still just as scared of lying in the bed that he made.
Jeongguk digs his fingertips into his thighs and his nails are dull, but he does it hard enough for a minute pang of discomfort to still be felt. He makes himself puff out a lame chuckle. It sounds strained and resembles a scoff more than anything, but he’s trying to lighten the mood; make the air in the room lighter and easier to breathe.
“I’m sorry,” he says on the tail end of the scoffing chuckle, shaking his head lightly. His voice has a light waver, shaky due to his nerves. “I– I’m just–”
When he feels your small hand settle over the one he has working into his leg, his head whips up quickly and a reactive reflex almost has him pulling his hand away.
But he stops himself before, and he’s so happy he does. Because when the initial shock wears off, your touch feels good. Familiar and comforting. He’s happy he catches himself because your touch feels nice and when he looks up from it, he gets to see you.
It’s like you stopped hiding and came out from behind that veil. Or maybe it’s an accident and you just forgot to keep it up. Either way, it doesn’t matter because he gets to see you watching him so artlessly, so openly honest. With a look that feels like a reminder.
A reminder that your heart has always been so soft, so sweet– that it still is. Softer than the hand you have settled gently over his and sweeter than its touch when you coax his own into being gentle, too, but with himself. A reminder that you’ve always been soft, sweet– that you still are. You look at him –softly; sweetly– like you’re reminding him that you’re still you.
It makes his eyes water and he has to look away. The thin, pinstripes on his slacks blur together, blending into thick lines as unshed tears muddle his vision.
“It’s okay, you can–” he hears you tell him, starting hushedly. You sound hesitant, like you’re not sure if you want to finish. “I… want to know what you’re trying to say. So– you can take your time... I’ll wait for you.”
And if someone asked Jeongguk to describe the ache that fills his chest at your words– he would tell them that it hurts like he imagines the kindest, most tender, undeserved compassion would.
“It took me so long because I was a coward, ___,” he says quietly. But the word is spat from his mouth like something foul. “I was so scared of feeling the hurt and facing the guilt that came when I thought about you; what I did to you–” Shame runs through his veins and he shakes his head at how spineless he was– unable to face the consequences of his own actions. It’s humiliating to remember.
He’s still talking down to his lap when he admits, “I– just avoided it altogether. I was so busy trying to keep it away that I didn’t give much thought to owning up to everything. I didn’t even know where to begin or how to go about fixing things with you.”
Jeongguk’s not crying yet. With that being said, his vision is still bleary and his eyes are red-rimmed from fighting the stubborn tears. He turns the hand he still has underneath yours palm-up. Covers yours with his other on top. Your tiny hand sandwiched between his big ones. He tilts his head back, blinks the wet in his eyes away.
“I wanted to so badly, though,” he tells you, bringing himself to look at you, “To fix things with you. To just try with you. It took me way too long to understand something that should have been common sense: That things don’t always happen the way you plan for them to; That pieces don’t just fall into place just because you want them to. If I want something… It takes effort to make it happen. I have to work for it and try my best to put the pieces where they belong.”
Jeongguk gives you a small smile and your hand a little squeeze. “I needed someone’s help to figure some things out,” he rolls his eyes playfully, almost fondly exasperated by the memory. “Like how to start altering the way I think and how to stop with all the wallowing and self-commiseration. How to stomach self-reflection. But when it finally clicked and I really got it? Fixing things with you was the only thing I wanted to do.”
There’s a tiny flicker of something coming back. A sanguine glimmer replaces the chagrin in Jeongguk’s eyes and you try to mirror it, reflect it back to him. Because the things he’s saying all sound so good. Perfect and promising and like everything you could have hoped for.
But when he says the thing about needing someone’s help? Anything he said before gets repressed. Unclear and hard to recall, as if his words are stuck inside a wayward memory. Anything he says after is indistinct. Muffled and hard to hear, as if there’s water stuck inside your ears. Similar to the rot that’s stuck inside your heart; ugly and hard to get rid of.
Such a gross, sickly feeling suddenly comes over you.
It takes so much effort to swallow it down. The green-washed insecurity that’s wanting to crawl up your throat and out your mouth. Masquerading as untrusting accusations that will make you seem paranoid. Heartsick questions that will leave you too vulnerable.
Who was it? Was it her? Was Dasom the one who helped you?
Of course, she’s going to be a sore spot and you know that. But the thoughts fluster you and catch you a little off guard because it’s not like you to think like that.
It’s never been like you to be paranoid. To feel so self-conscious and easily threatened. You’ve never been the type to chastise. To interrogate, or pry. To accuse, or assume.
The doubt came from out of nowhere– crept its way into your head during a brief lapse of emotional awareness and into your heart when it erringly opened and was left unguarded. At first, quieting the intrusive thoughts and dispelling the negative feelings was a challenge. But in the end, you managed and it was fleeting and passed quickly.
Shaking the residual embarrassment that follows the bad thoughts and emotions, is much more difficult.
Unlike the momentary doubt, the sudden flash of insecurity that it comes with is so intense that it lingers, so strong that it fogs your head. It distractingly hangs out in the back of your mind making it hard to focus.
It takes a few moments longer before you’re able to suppress it and push it down, down, down. Down far enough that you’ll be able to forget about it. At least for a short while, you’ll be able to convince yourself that the feelings won’t come back because it’s just not like you.
Wanting to omit it altogether, you gather your composure and fully give Jeongguk your attention again. You give him a small but genuine smile and wiggle your fingers that are still between his hands.
He smiles back softly, while you sit quietly. You’re working to piece together the things he said while you were lost in your head, trying to come up with a decent response.
“I was scared too,” you reveal quietly, “The whole time I was scared.”
“Will you tell me what you were scared of?”
“There were so many things, Gguk.” You don’t tell him that there still are. Jeongguk nods attentively. You gingerly untangle your hand from his, catching his eyes before looking around your room.
“The finger thing was a really bad example,” you begin trying to explain. You shake your head with a sheepish smile, embarrassed and horrified at your past self. “and it wasn’t the actual act. It was more of what it meant that was scary for me? Like the fact that I let you do something that I always swore I would never let anyone do? Ever.”
Laughing lightly, you think back on all of the times that your friends would make jokes. How they always told you that there would be a time that you would be horny enough to let it happen. The times when they had more class and said it was fine if you never wanted to and never did, but that they still thought you would end up giving in one day. For the right person, you would.
But you always remained adamant– so sure that nobody would ever make the act appealing enough, that nobody would ever make you feel comfortable enough with them for you to allow them to touch you like that or see you like that.
“But then I met you.”
Jeongguk’s brows furrow slightly, like he doesn’t quite understand. But he just stays quiet and nods again, waiting for you to continue. And honestly, you can’t blame him. Anal should never be such a serious topic or something that feels like such a pivotal point in a relationship. You certainly wish that it wasn’t.
But alas.
“All it took was a couple of months… Just a few soft touches and some dreamy words and I was putty in your hands.” Your hands that are folded lightly in your lap open up to show your palms before they squeeze shut into tight fists. “I feel like I would’ve done anything for you; anything you asked me to.”
His features fall, and the expression he wears is laced with so much guilt. “Wait– Did I… make you feel like you had to do certain things?”
You can’t help but smile at his concern as you shake your head sadly. “No, no… nothing like that– I always wanted to.”
Jeongguk frowns, not certain of how truthful you’re being.
Promising him that you’re not lying, you elaborate. “That’s part of why it was scary for me, I think. There was just something about you that made me so…I don’t know, willing? So yours?”
The admission makes pesky pinpricks of tears sting the backs of your eyes. “And I was. I was so yours the whole time even though you weren’t mine–”
“I was–” Jeongguk chimes softly. Interrupting, if only for the sake of trying to convince you.
“Not really,” you argue. The tone you use comes across as somewhat detached. Like you’re just stating a fact.
Using the silence that nestles between you as an opportunity to think, you consider what you’re wanting to tell him. How vulnerable you’re willing to get. Your mouth opens before you feel like you’ve even made your decision.
“I knew you liked me,” you acknowledge because you don’t want to be unfair, “but part of me always wondered: ‘how much does he?’ and ‘for how long will he?’. I was already scared that I was just a phase for you. Before Dasom ever said it.”
Jeongguk tenses just a touch at the mention of his ex and you pretend not to notice, continuing with, “So when she said that I was just something you needed to get out of your system and you didn’t defend me? God, Jeongguk,” you get out, eyes squeezing shut. Wincing at the ghost of pain the memory brings back. “That hurt so much.”
Despite your wanting to look him in the eye and come off strong while you relay how his actions made you feel; it’s impossible. Despite wanting to seem as though you’ve healed and grown and matured and like it just doesn’t hurt so bad anymore; you can’t face him.
“And then everything happened so quickly?” you continue before he can get a word in, your words coming out rushed and frantic, “It felt like you didn’t even think about it, and like it was just so easy for you to let me go? Like I really was nothing just like she said–”
He can’t stop himself from reaching out and quieting you when he hears the way your voice breaks. Jeongguk doesn’t want you to cry, not sure he could handle it if you did. Your hands are in your lap still, clenched together, so he rests a palm on your knee.
“___,” he says gently, “I need you to believe me when I tell you that none of that is true.”
You keep talking like you don’t hear him.
“It almost seemed like you were already over it, bored of me. And her saying those things was a convenient way to– ” you shake your head before sighing. “I was always scared that you’d end up getting tired of me, that you would stop wanting me and just get rid of me. And after what she said, it felt like you finally did. Like you used her words as an excuse so you could finally leave me.”
“That’s not true, baby,” he reiterates, tongue slipping as he tries to console you again
At the pet name you look up. Your red-rimmed eyes locking with his.
He stutters a bit as he backtracks, barely able to get out a stiff apology.
And your lips pull down in a deep frown, and your brows turn up confusedly. “You said you wanted to… fix things with me?”
Jeongguk’s lips part, dim surprise taking over his face before he breathes a small yes.
“I want that too,” you breathe back, “but I’m still so afraid Jeongguk.”
“I know, I know you are– I am too–”
“Not like me,” you counter, “You may be scared, but you’re not scared like me. You can’t be scared like me.”
Your words come out sharper than intended, too emotional for the facade you’re trying to portray. But you don’t dwell on the tone of your voice. Nor do you dwell on the brief ire that flickers in Jeongguk’s eyes.
“I’m scared that I’ll never catch up to you. You won’t ever know what that feels like because you’ll never be the one that’s worried about falling behind– you’re the one that’s ahead of the curve. I’m scared that I’m not good enough for you and Nari– that I can’t be. You have no reason to be scared of that.”
The fight to keep your voice level and in control dwindles. Every ounce of your pain can be heard as you let out the burdensome ache in your heart, little by little.
Each word is heavier than the last when you ask Jeongguk, “Why would you be afraid of not being good enough for someone who never made you question it?”
Jeongguk flinches. Visibly recoils as if your words are abrasive enough to hurt.
Which is what you wanted. You wanted to hurt him, but it doesn’t make you feel better like you anticipated. If anything his reaction makes your pain ricochet right back at you. Hurting him, hurting you.
And then you consider that perhaps, you didn’t truly want him to hurt– that you might have just wanted him to be aware. To know what you’re scared of; how it hurts to be scared.
“Maybe you are scared, too,” you amend, “Maybe there are even a few things that we’re both afraid of… but being scared isn’t something we have in common.”
The hurt from before is replaced by barely-hidden defensiveness. Jeongguk does try to hide it as he listens to you, though. You give him credit for that.
“Being scared that you’ll realize that I actually am just some stupid kid that doesn’t know what she wants, exactly like you thought, is a very specific fear,” you try to explain. “I’m scared that one day you’ll look at me but you won’t see me anymore– you’ll see a mistake that could have been avoided if you never came back. That I’ll cross your mind. But instead of thinking fondly… you’ll end up thinking about how you wish you had just stuck by your decision when you said you wouldn’t let me stay.”
A defensive urge to argue the validity of his feelings comes naturally– he’s only human. His emotional side finds it unfair of you to determine, decide, and define his fears but the irony of the situation dawns on his logical side just as quickly.
The fact that you’re speaking to him in a manner that mirrors how he spoke to you all those months ago, doesn’t escape him. Instead, the similarities make him stop and think. Something he regrets not doing that night in his living room.
He concludes that arguing with you would be pointless. He knows you’re right and it doesn’t take him long to realize.
Yeah, Jeongguk’s scared. But just like you said– he’s not scared like you. Not scared of what you’re scared of. Jeongguk’s fears are more or less internal and he’s had a few of them for most of his adult life, since he became a father. Some of the fears may concern you in some way or another, but none of them manifested because of you or something you did or things you said.
He’s scared, but he’ll never be scared like you. Not when the things you’re afraid of only exist because of him.
The thought of it never going away, of you never being the same or free of the ache he caused, even after the insecurities and fears are dug up by the root– it makes Jeongguk feel like he’s going to be sick.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” you end up saying after a few moments of watching Jeongguk struggle to get words out. “And I know you regret it. You showing up here proves that.”
The small, sad smile you give him is too kind for what he did.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” Jeongguk says, “For you, for Nari. I never thought– I’m so sorry, ___.”
“I know,” you reassure, gently.
And you truly do know how sorry Jeongguk is. He obviously doesn’t have the words to express his remorse, but sincerity is written all over his face. His big doe-eyes dark and glassy and so genuine. Full of regret; the longing to go back and undo what can’t be undone. Somehow so full of warmth, just like you remember.
“I don’t want to fight anymore,” you say.
It doesn’t sound like you’re at your wit’s end or like you feel as if the conversation has reached it’s breaking point. Just sounds like what it means. Like you don’t want to fight. Not with him. Not with yourself. Not with what you’ve been wishing for since you lost it.
Jeongguk agrees, nodding. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it a fight. I want you to be able to talk to me about–” He’s flighty, moving his hands all about, like he’s nervous and has too many things he wants to say. “about everything, really. So, I promise, I’ll just listen–”
You watch him for a few more seconds, letting the corners of your lips turn up just so. Then you reach for his hands, ceasing their movement with your own.
“Shush,” you laugh faintly, “There’s still a lot we have to talk about. So much– we can’t get through it all with one conversation. It’s gonna take a lot of them and a long time, probably. But I think we’ve covered the most important stuff, right?”
You’re aware it’s going to take time to get through the maze of problems you and Jeongguk have created between each other.
But you can’t help but think about all time that you wasted while making them.
And you don’t want to waste even more time by waiting till everything is figured out before you start letting yourself get past it. You don’t want to hinder the process of moving forward by getting lost trying to navigate the maze. Not when you’ve finally made your way back to each other.
So while the labyrinth hasn’t been solved, and all your issues haven’t been fixed, at least now, you don’t have to do it alone. You can resolve everything and find a way out together.
It’s possible that you’re too willing to push things aside, that you’re too keen to move past it all. That you’re not standing your ground, being too easy and too soft, too quick. That you’re not giving yourself enough time to consider what you haven’t touched on yet. To process what you have.
But as you told Jeongguk, you feel like what needed to be addressed has been. With time, everything else will be talked about. Which is enough for you and your eager heart. You don’t want to wait anymore, not when you’ve been waiting so long already.
Jeongguk’s wearing a flush when you grin at him and he looks down at the pair of your hands, still slightly entangled on your duvet. His thumb rubs softly over your knuckles while he says, “If you’re sure?”
Vaguely aware of Jeongguk absently toying with your fingers while he awaits your reply, you think it over just for the sake of it and end up remembering something.
You hum musingly, making sure he can hear the smile you decorate it with. An attempt to diffuse the heavy air in your room till it’s something more buoyant; lighthearted and easier to breathe. You curl your manicured finger around one of his, trapping it briefly before untangling both your hands.
“Actually,” you start.
So very attentive, Jeongguk whips his head up.
“Now that I think about it, you told me why it took you so long,” you reflect, “But you didn’t tell me why now.”
Jeongguk opens his mouth to reply before he’s furrowing his brows, puzzled, pursing his lips into a line. It’s quiet while he thinks.
A weak, hopeless simper sounds, and he shakes his head while running a hand through his hair. “Again, I wish I had a better answer for you.”
You roll your eyes and change positions, now sitting criss-cross in front of him. “Okay, well, you didn’t just randomly show up! There had to have been something that made you come now; today.”
Light, but genuine laughter rings in your room– it starts off sounding like it’s accidental, cut-off chuckles only heard because the person laughing can’t hold it in, and it ends as cute giggles that lilt throughout the space softly.
And it’s all Jeongguk’s fault.
“No,” he says, around a breathy giggle, “I really did. I probably shouldn’t admit that, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I ended up caving and looking at your–”
It’s now your fault that sounds of amusement continue to filter in the air– Jeongguk’s eyes getting wide and his face turning pink is too funny and you can’t not laugh at him.
He stutters when he tries to backtrack, “Y… Your– pictures? On my phone? In my camera roll?”
You narrow your eyes suspiciously, impishly. “Which of my pictures, hmm?”
The flush coloring his cheeks runs down to his chest, the silver LV pendant of his necklace would probably be warm if you reached out and touched it. He would probably be warm too if you reached out and touched him.
“No! Oh my god, not those! I did not look at those, okay? Anyway,” he rushes out, “I really was on my way to work! But add a couple of turns and a few steps–” he shrugs, “I guess now because I physically couldn’t keep myself from you any longer? Because then I was at your door and now I’m here. With you.”
The giggles have finally ceased, and now it’s just your paired breathing that acts as low background noise while you both take the other in.
“Now you’re here with me,” you repeat softly, with an even softer smile.
Jeongguk’s eyes drop to your lips for the briefest of moments. He darts his tongue out to wet his own.
“___. You were right,” he tells you, “It didn’t have to be all or nothing like I thought it did.”
You nod once.
“I’m sorry for not listening to you. For deciding for you and not letting you make your own choices. And for not even letting you explain your side that night. For how bad I hurt you and for all the things the hurt caused.”
“Okay,” you breathe.
“I should have listened to you.”
Again, you nod.
“I should have chosen you.”
It’s almost instantaneous when tears well in your eyes.
“But I was so scared of the way I wanted you and how badly I wanted it,” Jeongguk confesses, “I’ve never felt the way I feel about you before. For anybody.”
Mild confusion makes a home in your eyes.
He expects it before he sees it stir your features, so he’s not surprised when it appears. He finds himself smiling. Maybe because he’s wanted to tell you that since he realized it. Or maybe he wants to finally do what he should have done the night of the fight, and even before then.
Jeongguk smiles at your uncertainty because this time, he gets to make it go away. He gets to reassure you of your place in his life, of how important you are to him. Of how you’re worth trying for. He’s quick to shush you when your lips part to speak.
“No one,” he insists, “You’re so different, ___. And I feel so differently for you. I feel different when I’m with you. That’s part of why I was afraid. I was scared to want you because I didn’t know how to have you.”
Tears are making his eyes gleam, glassy in the morning light that streams through your blinds. Yours are a mirror and you don’t know how you’ve kept the drops from spilling over.
“I’m still fucking scared,” he admits, “Like you said, we’re both still scared. Because we have no god damn clue how this will turn out. If we’ll even be able to fix it and get back to the way we were. Who might be collateral damage if we can’t. If one of us will end up changing our mind. Or if we’ll end up even better; if we –me and you, together– will be the only thing that we’re sure about.”
The urge to tell him that you’ve been sure ever since you found his round little bug of a baby in your grocery store is so strong– you think you may burst because of it. Maybe the lovestruck feeling in your chest has gone supernova.
“I have no clue about anything other than the fact that I want to be with you, ___.”
Let the record show that between you and him, Jeongguk is the one to let the first tear fall during this conversation.
“I want to try.”
“Yeah–”
“If you’ll let me, I want to try for you. And if you’ll have me, I want to try with you. Because if we don’t at least try– I think I’ll wish that we did forever.”
When you beam at him and exhale a simple, ‘Okay’ and Jeongguk echoes it, he thinks this is all too easy.
But then he remembers how everything with you has always been that way. Maybe not too easy, but just right. Concerning you, the hardest thing he’s had to do is be without.
He brings your hand to his lips, brushing your knuckles with a sweet, kiss. “I want to be with you,” he tells you again.
You bite your lip to suppress your smile. “Then be with me.”
This time he’s the one saying ‘Okay’ and you’re the one echoing.
Until backtrack with a pout. “What… what am I? Like– to you.”
“What do you want to be?”
“Yours.”
Your answer is breathed so quickly, like you didn’t even have to think about it to know that’s what you wanted. Like that’s the only thing you’ve ever wanted. How fast you reply gives Jeongguk butterflies. Makes him giddy while he tries to calm himself as he confirms, “Mine,” before he adds quietly, a little shy, “I’ll introduce you as… my girlfriend?”
Jeongguk is so endeared when you close your eyes, wistful when you ask him to say it again in an airy voice.
“My girlfriend,” he whispers, squeezing your hand in his.
When you open your eyes to look at him and he sees unshed tears heavy on your lashline, his heart pulls in his chest and it breaks a little when you murmur, “I didn’t know if I would ever hear you say that.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long.”
A teardrop escapes the corner of your eye when you shake your head, smiling so sweetly, so happily. Jeongguk’s distracted, just taking it in and getting lost in everything that is you. So much so, that he doesn’t see it coming. Not until your arms are wrapped around his neck, his reflexively coming up to wrap around your waist like muscle memory.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath when he has you in his arms, nuzzles his nose into your hair. Pulls you impossibly closer, and he can feel how he squeezes the air out of you when you puff out a dulcet laugh into the crook of his neck.
When you bring your hand to the back of his head, the feel of your nails on his scalp and your fingers in his hair is enough to make him sigh, sink into the touch. It’s familiar. Feels like a natural progression, just like the way your cheeks brush when you pull away just slightly, only to come back. Closer this time.
His nose bumps yours, and he inhales your shaky sigh.
“I…”
“Yeah?” Jeongguk breathes.
The shift is swift. The temperament of the atmosphere smoothly transforms– going from something saccharine and tenderly sentimental to something decadently rich and heavy. The air all at once becomes thick and intoxicatingly heady; plush and ardently warm.
The build-up is gradual. At first, the sudden heady note of warmth that makes your room hazy just feels like a blanket. Like it covers softly, tickles the skin lightly. Then it begins to seep in so slowly, gradually, that it’s not noticeable until the heat of it can be felt bone deep. Until fingers shake with the desire to touch.
It starts with Jeongguk nosing along your jaw; down the length of your neck when you tilt your head to the side for him. It starts with the occasional, accidental brush of his lips against your skin. It starts with your hand gripping tight in his hair, a subtle try at pulling him in to keep him near.
It ends with a kiss.
Albeit, a fleeting one– but still a kiss nonetheless.
Pulling himself back, Jeongguk’s features are tensed. Eyes squeezed shut, teeth gritted as he struggles with himself. He’s rough when he gets a hold of you by your waist. His fingers digging in harshly; almost like he doesn’t realize how he’s handling you. But he’s gentle when pushes you away to put some space between you.
“Why–” you whisper, needy, as you bring your palms to cover his grip at your waist. You pet at the backs of his hands, coaxing him into letting them roam. You guide his touch down to your hips when he gives in briefly, encouraging him to touch you.
“I don’t know if– Maybe we shouldn’t–”
You crowd his space, bringing yourself to your knees and pushing his palms down to where the hem of your too-big sweatshirt grazes high on your bare thigh. Jeongguk groans after he loses his short internal battle. Can’t rob himself of squeezing at the meat of your thighs just for a second before he’s trying to pull his hands from yours.
He doesn’t get very far because you end up cradling his face in your hands, angling his head up to look at you. And Jeongguk’s always been so easy for you. It’s no surprise how easily he yields to the movement; how easy his eyes slip shut. How easily he parts his lips when your tongue teases the seam; how easy it is to get lost in the taste of you.
“Shouldn’t what, Gguk?” you ask in a soft voice. Each word spoken between the kisses you’re trailing down the column of his neck.
Jeongguk keeps his hands mostly to himself. Awkwardly letting them hover by your sides as he searches his brain, trying to recall the reason why he’s clinging to his resolve. It is so hard though, when you’re right in front of him. So willing and eager to let him have you. He finds himself following your lips when you barely let the plush center graze his cupid’s bow.
“Maybe we should… take it slow?” he offers, dazedly. It wasn’t supposed to sound like a question, but Jeongguk can’t help the way his voice carries up at the tail end like he’s not sure that’s really what he wants.
A little giggle falls from your lips, puffs hotly over his. And Jeongguk’s never thought you evil before, but right now he’s certain that you are. Because, with wistful mirth still in your voice, all you do is nod like you’re simply humoring him and say, “Yeah, maybe.”
Then you kiss him again, sighing a delicate, ‘Touch me’ against his lips.
You bring his awkward hands to your body, placing them on your tits, urging him to cup and squeeze over your sweatshirt.
Jeongguk exhales shakily, unable to keep himself from rolling them in his palms.
“Yeah,” you whisper, “Please.”
His hold on your chest turns rough, accidentally letting his pent-up frustration out through his touch and taking it out on you. It doesn’t hurt, not really, but you still whine. Let out a high, airy keen as your eyes slip shut and your head tilts back.
There’s no warning. Only Jeongguk’s hands moving to your shoulders, followed by a push and then a tumble, ending with you on your back and Jeongguk hovering over you. He’s got your wrists pinned by your head, and he looks down at you with dark eyes. The frustration in them juxtaposes the surprise in yours.
“You know that’s not fair, ___,” he chides. His tone is harsh, trying to sound stern, maybe angry– but there’s a slight waver in his voice that tells you he’s struggling to stay collected.
Fussily, you squirm under him. You tug against the hold he has on your wrists, only for him to squeeze tighter. You cant your hips in an attempt to rub up against his, only for Jeongguk to just lift them higher. A laugh of incredulity pairs the disbelief on his face when he glances between your wiggling frame and your irritated pout.
“I’m trying to do things right,” he explains around his bemusement, as he roughly presses your wrists deeper into the mattress. “I’m trying to be good.”
You stare up at him with pinched brows. He looks so pretty above you. Flushed a pretty pink with his lips parted and plumped by the kisses you managed to steal. A stray, misplaced strand of hair flutters with his heavy breathing. His eyes keep flitting down to your lips, and you can physically see how much he wants you; how hard it is for him to fight it.
When he finally lowers his body to yours, it’s almost defeatedly. Jeongguk gives in and just rests his weight on you. Presses himself against you, hot and hard between your legs. Finding his place easily when you open up and make room for him.
He keeps that pressure on his cock while he exhales a trembling, almost relieved sigh. His nose brushes yours but when you tilt your head to connect your lips, he pulls back. He does it again, taunting you with almost-kisses until you’re craning your neck again.
He doesn’t kiss you back when he lets your lips connect. In fact, you can feel how he purses his stubbornly. You stay determined, unswayed by his resistance. Your soft kisses inch from his mouth to pepper cute, all over his blushing skin. The scar on his cheek, the bridge of his nose. The just barely off-center freckle beneath his bottom lip. When your palm naturally settles on his neck, fingertips over his pulse point, you let out a breathy noise of wonder when you feel how fast his heart is racing.
And he feels his cock kick shamefully in his pants, letting out a breathy noise of his own. You feel it too and you coo, soft and fond, as you trail your other hand down his spine until it’s flat on the small of his back, pressing encouragingly.
Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, Jeongguk hangs his head to get closer to you. He bites gently at the pudge of your cheek, letting his teeth drag lightly until he’s mouthed hot, all the way to your ear.
“Why won’t you let me be good?” he whispers.
He croons prettily against the shell of your ear before he nips teasingly at your earlobe. A heat curls in your belly, making you suck in a short, whiny breath. The insides of your thighs clamp tight around his frame.
“Be good to me,” you gasp, arching up into him.
Jeongguk moans quietly and buries his face in your neck when he can’t stop his hips from stuttering into a clumsy rhythm. Sloppily rutting his cock over your panties, uncoordinated and eager.
Maybe he’s overly sensitive, hyperaware of your body underneath him, but when you begin to roll your hips, meeting his and matching his pace– he can feel how the little bit of added pressure has you opening up for him. Just enough for his hard-on to slide between, barely pillowed by your panty-covered pussylips. Even through the clothing, he can feel the difference. Like he knows you can.
He hears the unexpected moan you let out when you feel his cock rut over your clit and he feels the way your nails dig into his back at the sudden enhanced pleasure before he shifts to rest on his forearms so he can see too.
And what a pretty sight you are.
Eyes hazy and heavy, half-lidded as you look down your body to where he’s making you feel good. Cheeks flushed a rosy pink with arousal and maybe a little bit of abashment when you glance up at him and see him already watching you. You give him a small, shy grin before letting your eyes flutter closed. Basking in how he’s making you feel, your mouth falling open in a silent moan.
As he takes you in, his lips part with a low groan. His own pleasure coming from pleasuring you; heightened by every noise, look, and movement you make. Jeongguk gets such a specific satisfaction and gratification from making you feel good. From being good to you.
“Is this what you want?” Jeongguk whispers, slowing down some. He settles into a steadier pace, rutting his cock up and down on your cunt with slow, lazy drags.
He grins to himself because of how quick you are to nod and let him know that, yes, this is what you want. His hand comes up to smooth some of the flyaways that have sprouted from your squirming and he cups your cheek when your turn into his touch.
“Hmm?” he prompts, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
You huff, annoyed, and he can’t help but coo, smitten.
“Yeah– yes I want this, but I–,” you start off strong. You hold his gaze until shyness wins and has you focusing on the necklace dangling from his neck. The LV sways some as he continues to rock his hips. “I want more, too.”
“Yeah?” Jeongguk asks, a smile lacing his dreamy tone. He gives a quick, soft peck to your red-bitten lips in lieu of letting you answer. “I know you do,” he tells you, murmurs it with open-mouthed kisses against your throat. He pulls at the neck of your sweatshirt, draws a violet into your collarbone, using his lips as the pen. Then he tugs the thin skin between his teeth briefly, making you inhale harshly before he kisses it better.
“Gonna take care of you,” he promises, “take my time with you.”
Jeongguk proceeds at his own languid speed, lingering on every new inch of skin that’s revealed as he rids you of your sweatshirt. Of your panties.
He allows you your own pace as well.
Doesn’t spur you on when you’re slow to open up his dress shirt, doesn’t goad you into nimble quickness when your fingers stumble and it takes you far longer than it should to undo all the buttons. He doesn’t hurry you when your touch drags over his skin, or when your palms falter at his shoulders, or when your fingertips lag all the way down his arms when you finally slide the button-up off. When your shaky hands bide their time, hesitating at the buckle of his belt, he doesn’t rush you.
Jeongguk takes his time –and lets you take yours– as if time itself doesn’t exist when it’s passing between the both of you. As if each moment that comes and each moment that goes is inconsequential because moments are meaningless and time is simply a concept when forever is right now.
Nothing really matters and there’s no need to rush when he’s in your hands and you’re in his arms and forever is in his heart.
“Not yet,” he lilts, grabbing your wrists and sliding the flat of your palms up his tummy and away from his waistline.
“But I–”
“But I–” he flirts coyly.
Your mouth opens to argue, but the words never get a voice. His mien makes the words in your throat fall mute and causes a feeling of wistfulness to rouse in your heart.
Knelt on his knees between your legs, smiling down at you, playful and flirty. Happy. Wearing a pink full-body flush– Jeongguk is stunning. Distractingly so.
He’s glowing; gentle yet radiant. A quiet fondness reflected in his eyes as he looks at you with that well-worn adoration of his. It’s a familiar affection. One that you’ve missed, yearned for, and memorized– one that you’ve tried to unlearn and tried to forget, too, because of how much it ached to remember.
Nostalgia is a wonted thing that taints good memories until it hurts to remember them. It warped the memory of Jeongguk’s adoration until even just a fleeting thought about it hurt. It made you want to wipe your memory clean just to be freed from the yearning.
But with him looking at you the way he is, with that same raw adoration, you can’t fathom how you wanted to forget how it made you feel. How it still makes you feel. Because how good does it feel to be adored? How good does it feel to be wanted? How good does it feel to be finally his?
You dig your nails into his skin at the thought, and his tummy tenses. His grip on your wrists tightens and he lets out a soft hiss, the sound buoyed by a light, airy chuckle.
His thumbs run over the pulse points in your wrists. “Lean against the headboard for me? Get comfy?”
Cushioned by a few pillows, you do as he says, sinking into the down. Your knees are bent, and your arms are wrapped over your middle, now hyper-aware of how exposed you are comparatively.
Jeongguk’s top half is just as bare as you, only his necklace still on. But even though his lower body is covered, his bottoms are unforgiving. Dark slacks belted at his hips, the slight dip by his hipbones accentuated and his v-lines disappearing into the waistband where his cock is tucked away. Too hard and heavy to disguise, clothes doing almost nothing.
Not that he’s trying to hide it much at all. He’s palming himself casually, his touch light and his eyes dark. Tracking your movements while he waits for you to get settled.
When you are, Jeongguk makes his way to you, his hands resting on your knees as he lets his gaze roam. From your eyes to your lips, to your pillowy tits, to your closed legs. You feel a light pressure, almost tentative like he’s asking for permission with his touch.
He’s on his best behavior though, so he asks you as well. And when you hear how his voice comes out a little deeper, with an almost imperceptible tremble, as he gently asks, “Can I?”, your lashes flutter and your thighs reflexively press together, before you let him guide them open.
Time isn’t real, but any time in your bed shouldn’t go to waste. So he swiftly resituates himself, resting between your spread legs with his lips naturally finding their place on your neck, his hands on your skin.
Jeongguk’s quick, but attentive, as he relocates his mouth. The spit from his kiss marks leave a faint, wet trail from where they start at your neck down to the swell of your tits. He sighs when he gets a hold of them, jiggling a bit and squeezing. He glances at you through his lashes, as he plays your nipples, teasing them till they’re hardened by his touch. He smiles to himself when he sees you bring your bottom lip between your teeth to keep quiet.
When he uses his lips to tease, he hears you sigh an airy, pleased sound. He’s smug as he swirls his tongue, flicks lightly over the stiff little peak. You take a deep breath, your chest expanding and pushing into him, before it’s released in a stuttery exhale. When you get a hold of his hair, the strands curl around your fingers, softly, like how you hold him close and cradle him to your chest.
He gives the paired nipple the same attention. Has you mewling prettily with each lick and suck. Whining with each bite and tug.
As he follows the length of your body, he does so with small, suctioning bites. A little nip just below your sternum, a little nip under your ribs. One at the softest part of your lower belly, right next to the pink heart of your belly ring. He gives the jewel a tiny, baby kiss.
“This is the same one that you had in the first time we…” he stammers, too aware of the blush that simmers just under his skin at the thought. “We… you know… right?”
Jeongguk’s laying on his front, his head resting against your inner thigh. His arms wrapped around your legs, resting on your belly. The tattooed fingers of his right hand absently toy with the dangly part of the jewelry.
Something warms you from the inside, pleasantly surprised by the mushy, lovesick feeling that washes over you. Your heart beats, rapid in your chest, and you wonder if Jeongguk can feel the whirlwind of butterflies in your tummy under his palms.
You nod, blushingly and shy. “Yeah, it’s… yeah.”
“Just as cute as I remember,” he nods back. The puffs under Jeongguk’s eyes form when he smiles and adds, “This one is my favorite… Gonna make you feel good now, okay?”
He says it so casually, that you want to laugh a little, but the anticipation it sparks makes you tense. Your pussy clenches on nothing, and you can feel that tell-tale heartbeat pulse between your legs.
“Okay… yeah…” you whisper dumbly, trying to hide how eager you are. You slowly open your legs a little wider so you can see him better, so he can touch you better.
Jeongguk switches from having one of his hands wrapped around your thigh to it resting palm down on your mons. He uses his thumb to lightly run along your plump folds, up and down. His eyes are fixed on your pussy, and his tongue peeks out to wet his lips a little before he nibbles on the inside of his lip, a soft smile making the corners curl.
“Just as cute as I remember,” he says again, his tone playful and a little wistful this time. He kisses just above your slit.
Past lovers had said your cunt was pretty or maybe perfect when they found themselves between your legs, but Jeongguk has always called your pussy cute. It’s just a thing he does. And you don’t know why, but it never fails to make you blush, a little giddy and shy– something just so simple and sweet about his word of choice.
Even now, it has you wiggling and trying to inch your legs closed as you bring your hands up to hide your face. It’s whiny, but you both know you don’t really mean it when you say, “Stooooop” the word dragged out and laced with pleased flattery.
You can feel Jeongguk’s warm laughter puff over your cunt as he urges you to keep your legs spread. He hums as the giggles subside and says, “Don’t be shy now, I’m just getting started.”
A wistful sigh sounds, and it’s soft and cute and taunting when you say, “Okay well, hurry up.”
You shift slightly here and there to get more comfortable, running a hand through your hair as you resist the urge to smile back at Jeongguk when he gives you a look. When you bring your arm down from your hair, Jeongguk snags it, guiding your hand to your cunt. But when you start to play yourself he stops you, tuttingly.
“Don’t touch, just– open up for me,” he instructs, “Show me.”
Jeongguk groans under his breath when you do as he says. When he stroked over your pussy lips just a moment ago, they were plush and smooth, soft to the touch with your arousal tucked neatly between your folds. But with them spread, he can see how you’re glossy with slick; so dewy when he’s barely even touched you.
“You’re already so wet. How long have you been like this, hmm?” he wonders aloud, gathering a small bit of the sticky clear at your opening with his finger before just barely pushing it inside. Kind of like he’s trying to put the little droplet back where it came from; not let it go to waste. Then he brings his touch to your clit and your pussy slick aids the up and down swipes of his thumb.
“Ah– fuck,” you faintly gasp.
Jeongguk’s cock pulses as you bring your other hand down, using both to spread yourself open more and pull back the hood of your clit. Making sure his touch is direct and the sensation feels as good as possible. The thought of you already being so greedy for pleasure is enough for him to leak, precum surely leaving a wet patch in his briefs.
Even though he’s being gentle, when he rubs over your exposed clit, you shy away from his touch despite being so fiendish for it. Jeongguk babies you with a coo because he knows that you’re probably so sensitive. You gave yourself almost no time to warm up, afterall.
“Too much?” he asks you.
With a shake of your head, you say, “No, no… just– slowly, please.”
Your words make him smile and he gives your inner thigh a honeyed kiss for being so good. The smile lingers because slow is the pace he always intended to use, at your request or not. It’s how he intends to finish you too. For the first time, at least.
Jeongguk keeps that slow speed until your body relaxes and another few drops of clear slick drip for your cunt. The thumb of his other hand rubs softly over your taint as he collects what you leak and tucks it back inside. Your pussy clenches and your hole puckers at the sensation every time, and it makes him fucking throb.
The thumb on your clit only speeds up enough for it to not be torturous or agonizingly slow, the pace satisfying but remaining lax and unhurried, like he has all the time in the world. Once he finds a good rhythm, he keeps the motions constant and consistent.
When you start to get antsy and fidget, he smiles to himself knowingly.
“Feels good, baby?” he asks you, and when you nod, he whispers, “Yeah? Look so pretty…”
And you didn’t lie. It does feel good. But he doesn’t go any faster. He doesn’t push the fingers at your opening in any farther. And after a handful of seconds that feel like minutes that feel like hours– there still isn’t any indication that he plans to.
When you roll your hips, trying to hint at what you want, Jeongguk stops you with a scolded tsk, telling you to stay still. The sound you let out is frustrated and petulant.
There’s a taunting note in Jeongguk’s voice when he says, “I thought you said it feels good?”
“It does,” you tell him, “But– faster?”
Jeongguk’s expression is entertained, chuffed even. “I told you I was gonna take my time with you. Need you to be patient for me, baby–”
“Please–”
“Hush, ___.”
There’s still lingering amusement in his tone, but there’s also a sharpness, a hint of disapproval and something stern that wasn’t there before. It’s enough of a warning to silence the begging on the tip of your tongue.
“I’ll get you there, baby,” he says, his voice sweet again. “It’ll feel so good, I promise.”
It’s quiet for a moment. Then–
“I changed my mind, it doesn’t feel good.”
Jeongguk doesn’t even look up from your pussy when he asks a preoccupied, “No?” Then he peeks at you, and when you give a pouty nod he hums. It’s smiling and mirthful when he dismisses you. “Well, don’t worry. It will soon.”
Jeongguk is content between your thighs, still playing with your clit slowly. He only checks on you when your squirming mostly stops and you become suspiciously mute.
He snorts when he sees you scowling at him. “Don’t look at me like that.” After a few seconds with no response, he continues with, “Oh, so you’re going to be difficult now?”
You shrug, snooty.
Laughing, he asks, “You’re really gonna act like it doesn’t feel good?” The corners of his lips curl softly and his eyes narrow like he’s scrutinizing you. His head tilts a little when he continues with, “Like you’re not leaking, right now? Like you wouldn’t be making a mess on your sheets if I wasn’t helping you?”
Jeongguk watches your cheeks steadily turn a deep pink at his words until you look away from him, turning your nose in the air. You probably would have covered your face with your hands to avoid his gaze had they not been occupied.
He chuckles again when he’s only met more silence. Just the slightest squirm when he tucks another leaked droplet back into your cunt. To make a point.
“That’s okay, you can be mad at me as long as you’re patient, too,” he says, tone grossly fond and a perfect example of the patience he wants from you. “Still gonna make you cum. Still gonna be good to you and give you what you want.”
And it seems what people say about patience being a virtue and all that, is true. Because just like Jeongguk said, with just a bit more time and some decorum, it does start to feel even better.
Like the way he’s been touching you, the come-up is slow and steady. The hot waves of pleasure that ebb in your lower belly. The rise and fall of your chest that gradually gets faster. The noises that get harder and harder to keep in.
Jeongguk doesn’t need to hear you, though, to know he’s getting you there. But he’s enjoying this brattier side of you –he remembers you being difficult every now and then, but overall you were always so good for him; never fought him too hard on things– so he humors you by asking, “Starting to feel nice, baby?”
Everso tart, you shrug again, looking off to the side.
Still, Jeongguk doesn’t need to see your face to know he’s getting you there. Your pussy is a whistleblower, telling him everything he needs to know. Your cunt– leaking non-stop, contracting constantly. Your tiny clit– now puffy and swollen from all his attention.
Your fingers holding your pussy lips apart for him have a mild tremor. Your brows are arched when you finally give him your attention again, watching his thumb swipe up and down, over and over again. Your legs are beginning to tremble beside him. Your head is lulling back, and your lungs are exhaling a lewd sigh.
“I– I’m close,” you whisper, breathlessly.
Jeongguk purrs, is just about to tease you and your stubbornness with something along the line of ‘Really? Thought it didn’t feel good, ___’. But he doesn’t get the chance because of how close the string in you is to snapping. How it’s pulled so taut that it has you near tears, that slow and steady come-up finally peaking.
“Oh my god, Gguk– my– my pussy’s gonna cum,” you cry quietly, legs shaking as you struggle to keep them open.
“Mhm, I told you, baby,” he hums, smug, “Let me see how good it feels.”
Your face is turned into your shoulder, but you nod for him. Focusing on the ruining, slow, consistent rubbing of his thumb. The pleasure is so mind-numbingly good that, as much as you want to cum, you try to make it last as long as possible.
Which isn’t much longer at all, only a few more vertical swipes over your clit is all you can handle before you’re mewing a soft warning and cumming so hard your body convulses.
“That’s my girl. So pretty, baby. Did so good; always such a good girl for me,” Jeongguk praises, full of lust-filled awe as he watches you finish. He feels your clit pulsing under his thumb and he sees your cunt squeezing repeatedly around nothing and now he that he’s not preventing it, he sees how your pussy cums– leaking everything that he tucked away and dripping down to your sheets. Making a mess like he knew it would.
He continues to rub your clit until your body twitches, curling in on yourself as you close your legs and bring them to your chest. Wrapping your arms around the backs of your knees and pulling your legs to your chest, you curl into yourself for protection as Jeongguk moves to shed himself of the rest of his clothes. Then he sits on his heels while he watches you, amused.
Even though you’ve made a great attempt at hiding your pussy away, with the way you’re positioned it still peeks out from between your thighs. Puffy and shiny.
You’re on your back with your eyes closed, still catching your breath. The feel of Jeongguk’s hands on you makes you jump, and when his touch moves form the backs of your thighs closer to your sensitive cunt, you whine, kicking at his arms weakly.
“Shh,” he murmurs, “I won’t touch, I just want to look.”
Somewhat soothed by his words, you begin to shift to a more relaxed position but Jeongguk pushes your legs back together and your knees back to your chest.
You gripe at being manhandled. “What if I want to see, too?”
“You don’t need to see if I tell you what I see,” Jeongguk reasons.
“It’s mine,” you argue.
“Ours,” he corrects.
After telling Jeongguk that he’s dumb and asking him to please shut up, both of you dissolve into a fit of laughter. When you kick again, trying to get his shoulder as punishment, he gets a grip on your leg before you can land the hit and he kisses your ankle. You sigh.
It’s quiet, and you’re content letting Jeongguk pet at you, listening as he tells you about what he sees. He says cute a few times. Wet, messy. His fingers brush over your folds, even plumper than before, and you can feel the sticky wetness that stays behind when he moves his touch to somewhere else.
When he uses his thumbs to part your pussy lips, you hear him whine. The breathy noise makes you grin, and you hum lightly.
“Still cute?” you ask aloud. Eyes on the ceiling, smile still on your lips.
Jeongguk knows he said he wouldn’t touch, but he doesn’t think you’re too sensitive anymore. He still bypasses your clit just in case when he slowly runs his fingertip to your opening. When he presses into the second knuckle, you moan sweetly and the sound mixes with the audible wetness. There’s a crystalline string still attached to his finger when he pulls away.
“Mhmm,” Jeongguk hums, answering your question. “But so messy.”
You bite your lip when Jeongguk slips his finger in again, a little father this time.
“Clean me up, then,” you whisper, airy and wispy.
Jeongguk hums and when you look to the sound, you can see him peeking at you over your bent knees that are still pulled to your chest. He scrunches his nose at you cutely, and you mirror the curve of his lips.
“I guess I should, since I’m the one who made you make such a mess,” he hums, like he’s mulling it over. But the fact that he does so while lowering his face to your cunt shows that he’s already made his decision.
In this position, you can’t see him and it makes you tense in anticipation while you wait.
Jeongguk knows it’s a little mean to keep you waiting, but he can see you so perfectly like this. Can see how you’re trying control your arousal and calm yourself down with deep breaths. He can see how it’s not working.
“You’re shaking,” he observes dreamily.
Your pussy leaks and he watches that glossy slick drip down. He uses his pointer finger to play with the droplet at your hole, swirling the dewiness around the cinched muscle.
The sigh you let out is stuttered, and your hole clenches under his touch before you force yourself to relax again. You swallow your embarrassment before you admit, “I want it really bad, Gguk.”
You sound like you’re close to crying and Jeongguk soothes you with wet kisses on your thighs.
“All you have to do is ask, baby,” Jeongguk tells you gently. His kisses move till they’re right next to your pussy, his tongue poking out to lick just outside your folds. His thumbs pull you open and he blows lightly.
“Oh my god,” you whimper.
Jeongguk’s voice is full of flirty, mirth when he asks, “What do you say? Hmm?”
The heartbeat in your cunt is the only thing you can focus on. The pulsing is so loud and strong that it drowns everything else out. You don’t even really hear it when you sigh a hazy, “Please, sir.”
Predictably, your words go straight to his cock. But weirdly enough, he also feels them in his heart? He can’t explain it but somehow the lust thrumming through him melts into something fond? A lovesick impulse has him opening your legs so he can slot himself in between.
He doesn’t lay on you but holds himself above on a braced arm. His free hand comes up to cup your cheek as he looks at you. The corners of your eyes are damp, confirming the tears he thought he had heard in your voice earlier. Your lips are redder and a bit swelled, probably from you pulling them between your teeth.
Jeongguk kisses the corner of one eye, then the other, and then your lips. His thumb glides over your cheekbone. He sounds gentle when he says, “No ‘sir’ today, okay? Just Gguk.”
You nod in his hold.
“Good girl,” he smiles, soft and sweet. “I’ll clean you up now, won’t tease you anymore.”
You breathe a relieved sigh as Jeongguk kisses all the way down your tummy and you think about how good it’s going to feel, after all this time, to have his mouth all over your cunt. To feel his tongue licking into you, deep and slow. To feel his lips wrapping around your clit with light sucks.
The closer Jeongguk gets to your pussy, the harder it is to keep still. He smiles as you squirm and you can feel it in the juncture of your inner thigh where his mouth has strayed. It’s not too long before he gets back on track, kissing his way to your pussy till his lips are tucked between your plush folds and the tip of his tongue is circling your clit.
Your mouth drops open in a silent moan as you sit up, resting on your elbows to watch him. Just the sight of him is enough to make the first surge of heat curl in your belly. He’s got his eyes closed, lashes sitting pretty on the highs of his cheek as he licks at you. Cleaning you up and making a mess of you all at once.
“You look so pretty,” you whisper as you card a hand through his hair, pushing the stands off his forehead and out of his face.
Without stopping his tongue, Jeongguk glances up at you, his eyes half-lidded and hazy. He moans pleased and happy into your pussy. Only pulls away for a second to whisper a cute ‘thank you’.
His tongue is busy and so are his hands, running them up your body. When he gets to your tits, he’s harsh. Digging in and squeezing with palms that are just as greedy as his mouth. He uses the hold he has on them to pull himself closer, push his tongue deeper. The harshness of his touch makes you hiss, the hand you have in his hair tugging.
Jeongguk’s eyes roll back a little before he loosens grip, squeezing your tits once more, gently this time, as an apology. Then he’s smoothing his palms along your waist till one’s wrapped around your thigh and the other’s resting on your tummy.
He pulls away briefly to look at you, offering a sheepish grin before he pecks just above your slit. The hand he has on your belly absently fiddles with your bellyring.
“Sorry,” he says, “I just– I don’t know, I didn’t notice how rough I was being.”
You hum while you rest your feet on his back and wiggle your toes.
“I think I’ve just been wanting you for so long…” He turns his head and nuzzles into your leg by his head, his hair tickling the sensitive skin. “And now that I have you, I–” His lips graze your inner thigh with every word and when he’s at the softest part, he bites gently.
On a sigh, you ask, “You what?”
Resting where his teeth just were, he tilts his head, looking up at you. “It’s hard for me to control myself. I just– can’t get enough of you.” His words are said with a sigh and uttered in between roaming wet kisses.
After he promises he’ll be more careful with you, he begins to lick broad stripes over your cunt. When you spread your legs wider, you can feel the flat of his tongue against your clit. But it’s just slightly, just a brush of his tongue.
“My clit,” you moan, looking down your nose at him, “Play with my clit.”
He hums, pulling back a little. With your legs parted so wide, your pussy lips are spread just enough for him to see the little bud. He watches you as he uses the very tip of his tongue, flicking repeatedly over the sensitive spot just under your hood.
Your brows pinch and your legs twitch as they naturally try to inch close, the feel of Jeongguk’s tongue so good and so much that your body is already on the verge of being overwhelmed.
“Ah– yeah, like that, Gguk,” you sigh letting your head roll back, basking in how good he’s making you feel, “Keep licking my pussy like that.”
Your eyes lull shut while you let him make you feel good, and it’s then that you notice his hand on your tummy is still toying with your piercing. It’s distracting only for a moment, only before you realize that every time he does something to your clit with his tongue, he does the same to the dangly part of the jewelry with his fingers.
When Jeongguk circles your clit, he twirls the charm. When he licks up and down over your clit, the little heart gets flicked too. When he suctions his lips and sucks your clit in and out of his mouth, he tugs gently on your belly ring.
You can’t be sure if he’s doing it on purpose. One part of you thinking the patterns match up too well for it to be unconscious, the other part thinking it could just be an absentminded coincidence. You also can’t be sure why the nuanced touches are making the pleasure in your gut curl so tight; burn so hot.
“Gguk– you’re gonna make me cum again…” you drone, lustdrunk.
He smiles while his tongue continues to lick lightly. “Am I?”
While looking down your body at him, you nod. Your body already pulling taut with the tension that always preludes your orgasms.
Jeongguk’s lips wrap around your clit and he gives a quick sucking kiss before he pulls away with a little pop! sound. “Not yet, I’m not done cleaning you up.”
Groaning, you throw your head back. “You said you weren’t gonna tease anymore.”
“I did,” he confirms, his big palms finding the backs of your thighs and pushing them back, “But not so you could cum– so I could clean up your mess–”
“Your mess–”
“Our mess,” he amends, the tips of his fingers straying to the newly exposed parts of you. Jeongguk brushes over your hole, and you suck in a small gasp. “You’re messy here too, baby.”
Whining softly, you squirm as Jeongguk presses light, sucking kisses into your skin and there’s a subconscious urge to close your legs to keep him from getting where he so clearly intends. At the first signs of subtle hesitance, you feel his hands hold your legs open more firmly
“Let me?” he breathes, “Please?”
And something about how his voice is so soft –hazy and dreamy and full of so much lust and desire– has you relaxing, giving in. Docile and pliant in his hands.
You suppose some things may never change.
The first feel of his tongue tasting you where no one has before makes you exhale a shaky sigh. Your hole puckering under the featherlight licks he gives. When he circles the cinched muscle, your mouth falls open and you look down your body and between your open legs to where Jeongguk already has his eyes on you.
His eyes get little puffs under them when he sees your reaction and smiles. The confusedly pleasured pinch of your brows. The tense way your hands grip the sheets under you.
Giving your cheek a quick peck, he asks, “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
It makes the memory of him –hot and hard and leaking with your tongue on his hole– flash in your mind. It reminds you that he knows what he’s doing to you, that he knows he’s making you feel good because you made him feel the same way. Sure the anatomy’s different, but a tongue is a tongue and a hole is a hole.
In lieu of being difficult, you answer him with a moan; with your head hitting your pillows again.
That’s confirmation enough for Jeongguk as he echoes your moan with his own. He wraps his lips around the tight muscle in a nasty wet kiss and then drags his tongue up and along your leaking center till he’s at your clit where he plays until he works you into a whiny mess.
You’re tensing, and he can feel how your body shifts as your chest expands with the deep breaths you’re taking. Like you’re trying to focus and keep yourself earthbound by delaying the impending high.
It’s a high that’s inevitable though, and you have a warning on the tip of your tongue only for it to go to waste when Jeongguk makes his way down again as soon as he senses it.
And he repeats this– alternating between rimming you tauntingly and eating you till he can tell you’re right on the edge. You can feel how he smirks and you’re sure it’s amusement that you can hear prettying up little noises he purrs. His continuous teasing has you letting out barely contained whiny keens.
But Jeongguk can tell you’re doing your best to behave. The brattish way about you from before is nowhere to be seen. Not even when he feels your body slump for the nth time, panting from another almost-orgasm he takes away.
“You’re gonna cum aren’t you?” Jeongguk wonders aloud, pulling back a little to see how your pussy clenches in anticipation.
He hears you swallow, flicks his eyes up to watch as you bring a hand up to tug a little at your hair. It trembles a little as you bring it down to his locks.
“I- yeah… just… please…” You tug, pulling him to your clit by the crown of his head and holding him there with both hands. “Just stay there, please…”
You can’t help the way that you start to roll and grind against his face. Jeongguk’s lips and his tongue rubbing against you repeatedly with the up and down motion of your hips, and his nose bumping your clit a little every now and again.
His hands dig into your waist like he’s trying to pull you closer, suffocate himself with your cunt. It’s when he shakes his head with subtle little side to side motions over your clit that your pleasure peaks with your legs shaking before they’re closing around his head.
You cum hard and quietly, hushed ‘don’t stop’s and ‘keep going’s tumbling from your lips as you hold his mouth against you until you can’t take it anymore. You use one hand to pull him away by the hair, your other coming down to press against your still pulsing pussy.
With the hold you still have in his hair, you deliriously guide and maneuver him upwards. You’re still trying to catch your breath, so the quiet awed, ‘Whoa…’ you voice sounds airy
The position you’ve got Jeongguk in now has him straddling you across your upper torso with strong thighs caging you in. His cock bobbing a little right in your face. Heavy and flushed, the tip an angry shade of pink and shiny with precum. It’s instinctive when you reach out with your small hand to wrap around the base. And again, something awe-filled tumbles from your mouth.
“You’re so hard…”
The words float past your lips in the form of a breathless whisper, your lashes fluttering as your gaze jumps from his cock to his face. Your hand strokes lightly, just your fingertips running over the warm, silky skin.
“Missed you,” Jeongguk says with a tiny, unabashed shrug. As if that’s explanation enough for the state he’s in.
He smiles with his bottom lip tugged between his teeth and you smile back.
The pad of your thumb rubs at the underside of the crown when a drop of precum leaks, massaging it in messily. “Can I use my mouth?”
“Mhmm,” Jeongguk sounds, not trusting his voice enough to not shake.
You begin by placing weighted kisses along his length, starting at the base till your lips pucker around the slit. The heady taste of precum makes you purr, moaning softly. Jeongguk’s hips cant forward, and when you glance up you can see how his head has rolled back.
Smiling at how affected he already is by the smallest things, you run your teeth over the sensitive head. You anticipate the hiss that Jeongguk sucks in. Your tongue swirls around to soothe and to taste before your mouth opens to swallow.
The tip of his cock barely grazes the back of your throat before Jeongguke is pulling his hips back and choking just slightly on the whiny gasp that gets caught in his throat. He threads a hand in your hair and tugs you off.
Your forehead is resting against his lower tummy, and you giggle a little before you kiss at the slight jutting of his hipbone. His cock throbs, and he groans.
“What’s wrong?” you ask, smiling into him.
You can feel his fingers massage lightly at your scalp, and when you glance up at him, he’s looking down at you, lovesick as he rolls his eyes at your playfully.
“Go slow, okay?” he asks softly, “Tease me a little?”
Closing your eyes briefly as you let the sound of his moonstruck voice wash over you, you kiss sweetly at his hip once more before giving small kitten licks to the warm, flushed skin of his cock. He sighs like he’s in love.
“Like this?” you ask, coquettishly.
Jeongguk nods when you look up at him with your mouth open and the tip of your tongue flicking lightly.
“Lick the tip,” he whispers while he gets a hold of himself and guides it to your mouth.
You keep your eyes on him as you slowly drag the flat of your tongue with long licks.
“Good… that’s good baby…” he says airily.
Jeongguk glances down his nose at you for just a moment longer before his head is rolling back, and he’s moaning. His little sounds are quiet, but they’re almost constant. And you’re really not doing much, just licking softly at his frenulum, but you can already feel how his cock is getting stiffer, can see how the muscles in his tummy tense and untense… like he’s already getting close.
Kissing the crown, you pull away, stroking over him lazily. Squeezing at the base when he kicks in your palm. “Already?” you ask gently.
Jeongguk’s eyes are squeezed shut, like he’s trying to keep his composure, but at your choice of words, he laughs lightly. “Yes, already,” he tells you, pointedly. “That’s why I said to go slow.”
Slow is good for you. Slow lets you take it all in. Take all of him in.
Slow lets you tease drop after drop of precum out; lets you coax your name from Jeongguk’s lip over and over again until you’re sure you’ll hear his lovechants in your dreams tonight. Slow lets you memorize the way that his hands twitch wherever they touch you, how he gasps when your tongue does something that feels extra nice, how he whines when you bring your free hand up and roll his balls in your palm.
He’s a bit predictable, endearingly so with the blush on his cheeks as he urges the hand toying with his balls a little farther back. You smile to yourself as you touch him, rubbing at his taint and taking a moment to just watch his face.
Jeongguk’s eyes are shut, mouth just barely parted. His brows pinch just slightly when you inch your touch farther back and the cinched muscle clenches briefly under your fingertips, before he relaxes. It’s light and hazy when he whispers, “Yeah, baby…”
The light circles you’re tracing around Jeongguk’s hole have his cock throbbing. You have to wrap your lips around the head to keep him still enough to taste and properly tease, sucking with tiny bobs of your head as you drink down everything he leaks.
“I– ___, oh my god–” Jeongguk pants, looking down at you, like he can’t believe you or your mouth, can’t believe how good it feels to have you again.
You hum, lips still wrapped around the tip of his cock as you smile up at him as best you can. His chest expands with a sharp inhale when you press your fingers a littler firmer against his hole.
“Want me to put them in?” you ask between the soft open-mouthed kisses you press to his cock.
The sound that Jeongguk lets out makes your kisses cease and has you sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. Your thighs rub together, and your pussy is needy between them.
Jeongguk’s never done it before, at least not fully and with someone else. But the thought alone is almost enough to make him finish. It would be a first for you and him, together. Something he’s been wanting, craving.
He’s still trying to get his thoughts in order when you prompt him with a patient, ‘Hmm?’.
“I- No, no–” he ends up saying, “Just– just play with me.”
It’s sighed, laced with lust and contentment. Having you right now, just playing as he said, is more than enough for him. The anticipation does feel nice though, hot and sweet like a whispered promise of next time. Jeongguk wonders if you’ll ruin him.
“You just want me to play?” you ask, “You don’t want to cum?”
And Jeongguk’s sure you will. Ruin him, that is. If you haven’t already.
Your voice comes out lovily teasing, and your hands stay busy while you look up at him, eyes big and so pretty. Lips glossy with spit, maybe a little bit of his precum.
“Not– not yet?”
Jeongguk’s voice sounds unsure in your ears, and his actions contradict his words when you bring your lips to his leaking tip. His hips roll forward seemingly on their own accord, the most sensitive part of his cock rubbing against your tongue that you’ve pillowed underneath the crown.
A choked little whine falls from his open mouth before his head is lulling back and his hands are coming to your hair. Humming, you suction your lips around the head and bring the hand you don’t have busy to his hips, urging him to keep rocking his hips, slow so you can keep the pressure from your tongue constant.
“Oh my god– baby… baby–” Jeongguk moans, his gaze back on you. His brows furrowed and arched up, his mouth agape.
Under your touch, you can feel his muscles tense. How his breaths come out huffed and strained. How he sometimes tries to pull his hips away before he pushes them in like he rethought it, maybe like he never meant to. How no matter how hard he tries to keep from doing it, the stalling pace of his hips picks up.
And you can tell he’s going to cum.
He keeps muttering these fucked out little whispers of your name, of baby, of my baby. Almost like they’re warnings, maybe pleas. But not pleas for you to stop, or tease him anymore. You can hear the difference, can feel it in the way he touches you. Can taste it on your tongue with every heavy drop of precum that he’s leaking.
It’s like a string snaps in him, when he groans something deep and dissonant and his hips stop all together and his hold in your hair turns almost painful as he uses his grip to work your mouth over his cock.
“Yeah,” he breathes, “Don’t fucking stop… Gonna make me fucking cum–”
His cock is throbbing in your mouth before he even finishes his sentence. Coating your tongue in so many thick, hot shots of white. You hum, moving your fingers from massaging his taint so that you can roll his balls in your palm.
Jeongguk’s hand is shaking a little when he brings it down to cup your face, when he gently pulls you off him. His cock still fat and bobbing with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He guides your gaze to his.
He’s bracing himself above you with his forearm against your headboard, looking down at you a little sweaty and so flushed. Chest rising and falling with deep breaths. He’s got a little smile on his face when he runs the pad of his thumb over the plump of your bottom lip. Your mouth opens instinctively. The little smile on his lips grows before he’s biting it down.
His thumb presses down on the fleshy muscle, and you naturally let your lips wrap around it.
“Good girl,” he says, softly.
His words are tangible, and you close your eyes and you smile as you just let the praise glide over your body. It’s almost like you can feel each letter press a kiss into your skin.
Jeongguk’s a copycat as he too presses kisses here and there while he resituates himself. Going from straddling your ribcage to finding his home between your legs. Until you manuver him once more. He’s still home, between your legs, but on his back with you straddling him now.
Jeongguk doesn’t complain at the manhandling. Just looks up at you, rubs little nonsensical patterns just above the creases of your thighs.
“Can we do it now?”
His laugh is bright and loud at first before he gets a hold of himself, but he’s still smiling as he lets his shining eyes and his hands wander. His fingertips trialing over your skin until his gets his hands to your tits. His thumbs flick over your nipples while he hums, amused.
“Now you have to wait for me to be ready again,” he tells you conversationally, still teasing you.
You pout playfully, letting your own fingers explore, tracing the line of ink where his sleeve comes to an end on his shoulder. “So boring, Gguk,” you jest.
He scrunches his nose at you. “Why do you think I told you, ‘not yet’?”
Rolling your eyes, you reposition yourself; less over his torso and more over his hips. “Well,” you start, lowering your pussy down to where his cock lays flat on his tummy, “Waiting doesn’t have to be boring.” You drag your cunt over his still plump, but not-quite hard cock.
One of his hands quickly jerks down to get a hold of your hips and stop your movements. He hisses..
He says something about how he never said it had to be boring as you reach between your bodies and get a hold of his half-hard cock. Goes on about how he literally just came and how he needs a second to recuperate as you bring the head to your wet opening.
“Can I?” you ask vaguely, interrupting him.
He doesn’t say anything more, just gives you the littlest nod and he squeezes his eyes shut while you squeeze him into you. He’s not there yet, but he’s still sensitive and its still a tight fit.
Jeongguk looks down his chest to where you’re sitting prettily on his slowly hardening cock. His eyes roll back slightly before he’s scrubbing one of his hands over his face. “You’re–”
“Did you watch our video?” you interrupt again.
Stuttering a little bit, and winching some, Jeongguk uses the couple of seconds it takes for you to bring yourself down to him, to think.
“No, felt guilty… tried to hold out completely but ended up giving in and thinking about you…” he says, his hands finding their place at your hips..
His answer isn’t what you expected but it still has you smiling softly, chest to chest, resting on your elbows, and playing with his hair. “And what did you think about?” you muse, words breathy and flirty.
Jeongguk’s eyes instinctively dart to your curved lips. “Your mouth.”
You scrunch your nose at him cutely as you ask, “On your cock?”
He gasps when you grind your hips just a little, the movement stiffening his cock up that much more. Jeongguk can feel his cheeks heat up as he shakes his head, the hands he has on your hips moving to your thighs and then back up, squeezing and making little chills crawl across your skin.
“On my lips…” he admits quietly, licking them. “Missed kissing you.”
With a heart that grows fond in your chest, you lean down and give what he missed. Jeongguk sighs into your mouth, melts underneath you. He cranes his neck and the kiss deepens, his tongue slipping in between your lips. It’s not until you having him moaning softly into your mouth that you disconnect from him and make your way to his ear.
“Thought about you too,” you tell him, “touched myself to the thought of you missing me; wrapping your hand around your cock with me on your mind.”
Jeongguk’s fingertips dig into the fatty part of your ass, latches his lips onto the junctre between your neck and your shoulder. He sinks his teeth in just a touch to quiet his moan.
The whiny moise that you let out precedes the, “I fanatasized about the way you would fuck me when you came back to me–”
“I wanted to, but I just felt so bad–”
“Shh,” you hush him, “Doesn’t matter now…”
You finally make to move your hips for real this time, but lifting them has you letting out a tiny hiss of pain that’s followed by a cute, airy laugh. “Almost forgot how big you are.”
Jeongguk’s heart was just tugging inside his chest but now his cock is throbbing inside of you. Even as he wonders if there’s been anyone since him.
But once you get over that first hint of pain, past the initial sting of him stretching and filling you up, the only wonder is how Jeongguk survived without you for so long.
The light from your blinds peaks through your hair; wild and messy and draping over your shoulder. The long strands almost act as a curtain, hiding you and Jeongguk away. Spots of sunshine come through here and there, and they hit different parts of your body as your body becomes his body. On the tip of your nose, over the curve of your breast, the tops of your thighs.
And Jeongguk’s knows he is so fucking lucky. Not because he gets to have you like this –warmed by his touched and sunlight– but because he gets to have it again. Because he gets another chance at having you at all, after fucking it up once already.
“Gguk,” you pant, “I feel so good right now.”
You’ve gone from bouncing on his cock, to griding on it, feeling his tip rub against the deepest parts of you. Your palms are flat on his lower tummy, and when he grabs your hips, helping you move back and forth on him, your nails dig into the muscle.
It makes him moan, quiet like the little sounds that you can’t stop making.
Jeongguk knows he was basically on the verge of tears just a second ago, but he is still a man and he can’t stop himself from asking, “Who’s making you feel so good baby?”
He can tell how fucked out and how close you are because of how easily you answer him. How being stubborn and bratty doesn’t even seem to cross your mind when you moan, “You, it’s always you.”
Pulling you to his chest and fucking up into your cunt is much sweeter than it probably seems. He does so to be close to you, to feel your chest against his, to feel how your body shakes as you get closer, to feel how you bury your face into his neck to try and muffle your moans and cries.
“Yeah–” you sob into his skin, “you’re gonna make me cum– please– please, can I cum?”
Your words come out staccato and irregular, punched out one by one by his cock as he fucks you faster. But Jeongguk doen’t say anything yet, just focuses on the slick sounds your pussy is making everytime he bottoms out, on the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of the slick, velvety heat, on how his fingers sink into your ass as he squeezes and tugs and pulls your cheeks apart to bury himself as deep as he can when he cums with you.
“Fuck, baby cum for me,” Jeongguk pants, his words a little rushed as he feels it all come to a head, “Cum all over my fucking cock while I cum in your pussy.”
You don’t say anything when you cum, and neither does Jeongguk. Both cumming with nothing but gasps. Your’s sounding sweet, almost awed, as you just let your cunt squeeze and contract around Jeongguk’s cock, almost like you forgot you could cum that hard. Jeongguk’s are more guttural as his cock throbs, pulsing with each shot of cum he pumps into your pussy.
~~~
“Your roommates are actually terrifying.”
The voice makes you smile, laughing sleepily, eyes closed for just a moment longer before you turn your head to see a dishevelleddly dressed Jeongguk, holding a single glass of water in his hand.
He shrugs off his blazer that he’s wearing over his briefs (you’ve helped yourself to his button up), and sits next to where you’re laying down. He nudges you his foot till you sit up and take the water from him.
It’s a content type of quiet while you both pass the glass back and forth, sharing. It only last for a minute or two before Jeongguk is clearing your throat.
“So… what happened to your plant, hmm?”
He must have seen the pitiful looking succulent in your living room when he went to get the water. And you know he’s just messing around and that he only said it to strike conversation and fill the silence, but still, it makes something ugly stir in your gut.
“You didn’t remind me,” you say, trying to literally shrug it off and give the topic a quick stop.
But Jeongguk is giggling as he says back, “Oh, so it’s my fault?”
“Everything is your fault.”
It’s snappy and said with enough bitterness that Jeongguk is physically taken aback. But then he thinks and then he softens.
“Hey,” he says gently.
You look at him, eyes swirling with a mixture of anger and hurt.
Jeongguk brushes a little bit of your hair out of your face as he looks you over. “I know,” he acknowledges quietly. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, but I hope with some time, you’ll be able to see it.”
You frown a little before giving him a sad small smile and you bring your hand up to cup his cheek. He turns into the touch and gives your palm a soft kiss.
“I know you’re sorry,” you tell him, “I know you are and I forgive you –my head knows that but– my heart is still sad.”
Something about how you say it reminds Jeongguk of how young you are. But not in the way it did before. Not like your youth is a burden, or a red flag. It just reminds him that he needs to be careful with you.
“I know, and that’s okay… I know it’s going to take time,” Jeongguk gives you a sad, yet understanding shrug.
And for once, it’s a good thing that time does what time is meant to. It passes and it allows things to grow; for things to heal.
“Speaking of time,” you say, lightheartedly trying to change the subject, “How long do I have you?”
“As long as you want me.”
Jeongguk’s reply is met with the most underwhelmed, flat stare you have every given him. He snorts before he says, “Till tomorrow afternoon– I have to pick up Nari.”
His heart feels like it’s going to explode in his chest when he sees how your eyes light up at the mention of his daughter, at how you jabber on with questions about her. How has she been?, Is she talking yet?, Does she still have that narwhal?
There’s a chance that he might regret it, but there’s also a chance that he might not.
So he asks, “Do you want to come with me?”
~~~
However long Jeongguk said it takes to get to his ex-wife’s house, all those months ago, escapes you.
But right now, it feels like 10 years and 10 minutes all at once.
It’s dramatic, yes, how terribly you’ve been fidgeting in the passenger seat of the Mercedes. Even Jeongguk’s big, warm hand petting at your knee can’t quell the nerves.
It’s making the atmosphere tense, and you feel bad when Jeongguk sounds like he’s walking on eggshells when he tells you, “Thank you for coming with me, I’m really happy you did.”
You feel even worse when you respond with, “I don’t think I want to go to the door with you.”
The ever-soothing hand on your leg stutters for barely a second before continuing just as it was.
“That’s totally fine,” he assures you, eyes on the road and one hand on the steering wheel. “You don’t have to, but if you change your mind, you can. It is your choice.”
The hand squeezes your thigh reassuringly.
And it’s quiet for the rest of the drive. Until Jeongguk is pulling into an empty spot in the driveway of a very big, very nice house. Right next to a Porsche.
“Of fucking course.”
“___.”
“No, you’re right,” you say, raising your hands appeasingly, “You’re right, I shouldn’t even be surprised–”
Jeongguk interrupts you with his hands on your cheeks and his lips on your.
“Shut.” He gives you one kiss. “Up.” He gives you two kiss.
His affection makes the tension in your body dissipate and your shoulders slump. “I’m sorry.”
With his thumbs rubbing over the apples of your cheeks, he gives you a small, understanding, patient smile. Then he asks if you’re sure about not coming to the door with him because he is stupid.
You tell him as much as you reiterate how you do not want to go to the door and this time, Jeongguk is the one raising his hands in surrender as he exits the car.
Leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Should you get out of the car? Wait inside? Should you have brought Nari a gift? Will she remember you? What if she doesn’t?
When you hear a distant, familiar baby-giggle, you end up opening the door and standing between Jeongguk’s car and Dasom’s. You feel a little dumb until you hear the pitter patter of little feet on the brick driveway.
“I have a surprise for you Nana,” you hear Jeongguk sing cutely.
And you hear Nari gasp excitedly in response, even cuter.
As the pair get closer, you can see Jeongguk’s top half over the car, how his arm is swinging back and forth because of the tiny hand that’s holding his where you can’t see.
Nari is dressed in a black jumper dress with a long-sleeved heart-patterned shirt on underneath when she pops out from behind the car and next to her dad. Kept warm from the slight chill in the air by her knitted tights and her teeny-tiny ugg boots. She’s still round, but she’s gotten taller and you coo softly to yourself.
But Nari hears the little noise you make and when she sees you, she stops in her tracks. Her little bobble head looking between you and Jeongguk. Then she’s tugging on her dad’s pinky that she’s got a hold of.
“___!” she says as she nods towards you, like she’s letting Jeongguk know that you’re right there. She sounds sure, almost a little bossy. Doesn’t stutter even a second to remember you. Kind of like she never forgot you.
“Ah– what’s with the nodding missy?” Jeongguk tuts, then he looks at you and shakes his head exasperated yet amused.
Nari has the nerve to giggle, a big girl no longer brought to tears by her daddy’s scoldings. She looks up at him grinning before she shrugs, like she doesn’t know what got into her. As she raises her little shoulders, her free hand comes up too for emphasis. And gripped tightly in her little hand is her stuffed narwhal.
You’re happy.
~~~~~~~~~
aaaaand SCENE. omg heyyyy long time no see girlfriends <3 i hope that u think this was worth the wait but am debilitatingly scared that it did not meet ur expectations so i am hiding <3 im sorry for how long it took but it is here now n that is all my tiny hands have to offer!! i would love to know what u thought, so please do al the things: reblog, like, comment, send an ask~~ thank u for waiting for me and for reading ily muah :*
#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook#jungkook fic#bts#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts x reader#jungkook x oc#jungkook x you#jungkook fic recs#jungkook oneshot#jungkook series#bts jungkook#jungkook imagines#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#kpop#kpop fanfic
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
All I Need
Tags: drunk!satoru, cheating, clothed grinding, needy!satoru, gn!reader.
“Can you picture it?” Satoru murmured on the nape of your neck, “me n’ you together.” His hands travelled down the sides of your body, pinching and pulling the flesh.
Empty shot glasses littered the floor as Satoru clung to you like a magnet clearly intoxicated. Your hands played with the carpet below you as you let him have his moment.
“I’d take care of you so good,” he bit your earlobe, “you’d forget about anyone else but me. Only my touch, my taste, my scent, would be on your mind.” He breath reeked of alcohol and strawberry lollipops.
“Satoru, seriously no. You have a wife, end of story.” Unconsciously, you leaned into his touch. Your mind swam with different emotions, shame, embarrassment, and most of all arousal.
“So what? I never loved her anyways. Not even close to how much I love you,” his hips gently rocked against your backside. “You feel what you do t’ me, baby?” His breathing became laboured as he pressed you harder on his bulge.
“Please, help me out this once, [name],” he whimpered. “Wanted this for s-so long.” He wrapped a strong arm around your waist while his other hand tilted your chin towards him.
“Kiss me,” he pecked the corner of your lips, “I need it so bad.” Satorus tongue wiggled between your lips egging you on.
“W-wait,” you blurted out, “Satoru…are you sure? We seriously should not be doing this I cant stress this enough.” Someone had to be the responsible adult here and you didn’t want to be the newest home wrecker in your city.
“[name], look at me, I’m like this all from the thought of–“ he broke off with a moan as he palmed his pants, “the thought of you on top of me..”
You swallowed yet your throat felt like sand paper. Fuck it. The you of tomorrow can deal with this. You grabbed a half drunked glass from the floor and gulped it down.
“Well, you know what to do Satoru. Strip.”
———
potential part 2? whatre we thinkin chat😼
#sub gojo#bottom gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x gn!reader#gojo x gender neutral reader#gojo x you#modern au ig#hes so babygirl#I HAVE HIS SKIN IN FORTNITE HAHAHAHHAH
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
jing yuan nsfw hcs / fem reader <3
im literally at work ignore my silly blabbering but i need to get the carnal need for him outta my system kay thx 😼🫶🏻
daddy kink - let me elaborate, this man loves to shelter people and make people safe. which is a good thing because when hes balls deep inside you, all he needs you to call him 'daddy' to make him absolutely feral. he would rut inside that harder, groan in absolute pleasure that sends vibrations through your core.
the type to use his hairtie lace as a bondage rope around your breasts, around your hands and tie you to the bed’s headboard. he loves when you squirm out but also reminds you of the intimacy he cherishes w you, having you enveloped in something that’s always in touch with him. <3
size kink — he’s not your normie person, he’s the general and has got the build of a general. smirks when you struggle against his girth, trying your best to allow him more room to sheath his cock inside your pussy. how you scream out when he start’s thrusting and pressing the tummy bulge which basically stimulates your gspot externally.
he loves power play, you’d often find him fully clothed while you call him general and ask beg him to fuck you nicely until you’re reduced to nothing but a sloppy mess. he loves making you brainfucked to the point you can’t even form coherent sentences.
loves mirror sex and full nelson, it just reminds you how teeny tiny you are compared to him. he would coo praises at you with the slightest of degratory hint, “such a cute little baby, desperate and pathetically cute.”
he likes marking you up, only in places where he sees. he’s got too much of pride to let any comment regarding his personal life slide— better not to give people the opportunity? he would mark up your breasts, your pussy lips, your inner thighs. everywhere that is a little too sensitive and a little too eager to be touched by him.
would definitely ask if youve been good, if you are deserving enough to be pleasured by him. its all a part of his schemes ;3 he plays chess after all :3
#jing yuan#jing yuan hsr#jing yuan smut#jing yuan thirst#jing yuan hcs#hsr smut#hsr thirst#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#hsr x reader#hsr imagines#hsr x reader smut#jing yuan x reader smut
585 notes
·
View notes
Note
goddamn it channie bj anon... now I'm thinking about sucking the soul out of his body in a semi public area and channie is sooo fucking shy and so flustered like he's so worried you're gonna get caught but why does it secretly make his tummy (😼) churn in excitement and I can imagine just backing him up against a wall or anything really and unbuttoning his pants and he's so shy he doesn't know what to do w his hands. one is covering the lower part of his face and the other is hovering over you, your head, your shoulders, never actually touching, more of like a feeble attempt to get you to listen (no safewords have been uttered so far) and you just play with his dick and in the end he alters between both hands hovering over his own dick, unsure wether to add onto the pleasure or to halt it, then they are back up covering his entire face because he feels so shy and he feels perverted for watching you do it (and he'd bust even quicker) and omfg he'd try like "we... we shouldn’t" and you quirk (?) an eyebrow at him and he’s all meek like "what if someone comes in/catches us" and you make fun of him for liking the idea and he just whines pathetically and his ears are SO fucking red (cheers and claps wooo ear mention) and omfg it takes everything in him not to buck his hips too much, using what's left of his strength to freeze in place or press against the wall behind him. but feeling the fat of his ass like slowly push against that surface suddenly makes him remember being pegged by you and how your hips would slam into his ass and suddenly he's doubled over trying his best to not cum
too fucking bad you hit him w the sloptimus prime washing machine spin cycle 4500 and put his dick through a car wash with that mf goose neck and I need to stfu.
also imagine him afterwards just sliding down the wall bc his legs are all weak and wobbly and he can’t look you in the eyes rn bc he's super shy (super shy~🎤)
shy flustered red-eared channie getting the head of his life and trying not to alert everyone within a five mile radius w his loud shaky moans that ring out no matter how hard he tries to hold them in <3 it doesn’t get better than that
he’d be such an adorable sight giggling nervously, squirming against the wall and hovering his hands awkwardly over his bulge like he’s trying to shield himself, but the moment you nudge them out of the way he complies instantly 🥰 he desperately wants to keep quiet but even just seeing you unbutton his jeans has his breath hitching, and hearing all his lil noises echo in the alley, just makes his dick throb more, esp when he thinks abt someone else possibly hearing them. poor baby really would have no idea what to do w his hands…he doesn’t know whether to claw helplessly at the wall behind him, hide his blushing face, or slap his hand over his mouth to at least try to muffle the helpless whines and cries spilling out of him against his will. his lips would be so red and swollen from biting down so hard on them, and when he accidentally bucks into your mouth, he can barely whimper out an apology before you pin his hips to the wall and earn the cutest gasp from him
channie sliding down the wall after 😭 that’s so cute…he’d sink to the floor and bury his face in his knees, panting and wailing abt how embarrassing that was (channie language for “please do it again”)
172 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm feeling a little awkward for some reason, but I wanna request a sebek fic perhaps maybe?? Maybe like where he or his s/o gets sick? I js love the way you write characters(sebek mostly😼)
Awww, don’t feel awkward~ I’m very nice, y’know?
I’m here
Sebek x reader
It burns. Your entire body aches, the pain spreading across your back like wildfire. Ravaging every inch of your flesh, sinking curved claws deep into your spine.
Your vision blurs, the wooden grains of the roof bending in with each other. They seem to move, shifting infinitely. Blinking, you try to focus your gaze.
A groan, before the blankets rustle. Your fingers meet a patch of fur, soft to the touch. Azure flames burn, their light flickering softly against your sheets.
Chuckling, you stroke him carefully.
Grim insisted on staying by your side. He played it off real casually, insisting that he felt like skipping class today. For all his bluster, Grim can’t really hide the concern in his eyes. He was honest to a fault.
Much like a certain classmate of yours…
A crash made you jump. Fists pounding at your door, each one louder then the last. There was a certain desperation to each knock, begging for an answer.
Planting your elbows into your bed, you managed to pull yourself upright. Blankets wrapped around your shoulders like a shawl, you stumble out of bed. Hands stretching outwards, relying on the walls to stabilise yourself. You hobbled to the front door, still delirious with fever.
A peep through the peephole revealed a mop of pastel green locks, styled back with copious amounts of hair gel. That was enough for you to identify your visitor.
Hands fumbling with the doorknob, you manage to coax the door open, coming face to face with your fellow classmate.
Sebek Zigvolt, in all his glory. He stood tall on your porch, panting softly. His cheeks were tinged red from exertion, eyes darting around your form. Scanning for any injuries, perhaps?
He was trained to be a soldier, after all. These things must be second nature. His mouth was open, about to deliver another of his lectures. Yet once he saw the state you were in, his tongue froze. Sebek stood there, gaping.
Much like a fish, you think hazily. Shoulders slumping, you lean onto the doorframe. It was the only way you could stay upright, at this point.
Not an action unnoticed. Hands find their way onto your arms. Wrapping you in the blanket, Sebek’s arms snake around your body. He heaves you up, cradling you close to his chest. Every heartbeat pounded into your skin. A steady beat that beat in sync with his chest.
Despite yourself, you lean in closer. Pressing your ear against his skin, feeling his pulse quicken under your touch. Unconsciously, your arms find their way around his neck, clinging on.
A grunt from Sebek, before he shakes his head.
“Honestly… to be in such a state. It’s typical of you humans.”
You manage a laugh, before a cough claws its way up your throat. Emerald eyes searching your face, his concern clear as day. His pace hastens, until you’re lowered back onto your bed.
His fingers wrap around your blankets, pulling them up gently. Tucking you in. His foot hooks onto a chair, Sebek drags it over. Taking a seat next to you.
A shaky smile pulling at your lips, you turn to him.
“You know, you don’t have to look after me. I’ll be fine, Sebek. You better go, you don’t want to catch a cold from this weak human,hm?”
Fingers thread through yours. Calloused hands, rough to the touch. The hands of violence and battle. Absentmindedly, your fingers trace over his palm. Rough patches of skin left after years of wielding swords. Years of perseverance, swing after swing.
One look in his eyes, and you could tell.
Sebek wasn’t leaving.
He clutches your hand firmly.
“I’m staying right here.
So… get better soon, okay?”
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#disney twisted wonderland#twst x reader#sebek zigvolt#sebek zigvolt x reader#sebek x reader#sebek#lucky potion🔹
478 notes
·
View notes
Note
nanami please with a darling who was injured by someone else 😼
yay more food. my dinner
You sigh as you open the door, taking off your shoes, placing them neatly in their respective places before ridding of all of the other things you brought outside with you. Keys, purse, you kept the small bag of groceries in hand for cooking tonight's dinner. The sun was going down and the sky was turning dark. Kento should be off of work by now.
You sigh once more, eyebrow twitching as you ignore the pang of pain in your lower stomach. You wash your hands before washing the vegetables and turning on the stove. How were you to hide this from him? I mean, you did a great job at patching the wound, making sure the bandages didn't show. I mean.....it wasn't that bad. Just a small robbery accident. It's not like you lost any of your personal items. Your face scrunches in stress as you continue to quickly chop the vegetables.
An hour passes when the front door unlocks. Kento steps through the front door and his shoulders relax at the smell of dinner wafting up his nose. You always knew how to settle him when the day ends. The thought of you puts a smile to his lips as he takes off his shoes, placing them in their respective places as well. He was going to turn around when he felt the familiar warmth of your hand on his shoulder and he turns, seeing your pleasant and radiating smile. "Hey, honey." He murmurs, pressing a soft peck to your lips, and wrapping his arms around your waist. He melts into the soft hug you both share.
"Hey," You reply, "How was work?" He almost pulls you back into the hug when you let go of him and begin taking off his cream colored blazer. "Not much different," you place the blazer on a hanger in the closet and Kento loosens his tie, willing himself to walk towards the kitchen instead of following you. "Just wish I didn't have to spend my time with that unsufferable freak for any longer than 2 minutes. Or 2 hours, for that fact." Nanami rolls his eyes as he recalls the memory of spending his time attempting to exercise a curse with Gojo.
"You mean Gojo? I haven't seen him in a while. How's he been?" You follow him into the kitchen and check on the chuck roast in the oven. Nanami scoffs. "Doesn't matter. I would rather not entertain the thought of him...at least not when I can talk about you." He waits for you to close the oven before softly smiling at you.
"How's your day been? Gone out somewhere? Did anything fun?"
Nanami allowed you to roam freely within the house without him having to watch you a year after kidnapping you. And it took a second year to get him to trust you to never leave the city, and do almost anything you want outside the house without his supervision. When you first were captured, you never ever asked him if you could leave. Because you knew eventually, if you played the long game, you could go back to living as normal as possible. Nanami wasn't.....a bad captor. He certainly was a horrible man deep down, but he never hurt you. Besides, you didn't have to do anything other than be his "wife". You didn't have a job and he always told you to use his card. So you had all of the time in the world to do whatever you pleased.
When you first left without his supervision, it was basically like he was there with the amount of times he called you and texted you to know where you were. You constantly sent him photos of the things you were getting, selfies of yourself, and calling multiple times to "make sure you were alright". He was at the front door already waiting for you when you came back. He was so relieved and was very proud of your behavior, which eventually led to him rewarding you when bedtime came.
You worked so hard to get to this point. And you would rather jump into a boiling pot of water than have your freedom that you worked so hard for taken away from you. The chains. The hand-feeding. The baths. You hated it all. He didn't even let you look at clocks for some reason. You only knew how long it had been since he kidnapped you when your birthday came around. And since then, the dynamic had finally formed into something you could work with.
A pang of pain once again struck you when he asked you that question. You forgot to take pain meds and internally cursed to yourself. You had to hide it from him.
"I went to that coffee shop that you recommended to me. And you were right, it was really nice. I loved their Chai Tea and chocolate chip muffins. We should go sometime." Kento held your hands and stared at you as you spoke. He could stare at you for hours and never get bored. You continued, "Then I went back home to do some cleaning. And when I finished, I realized that I wanted to make roast for dinner, so I left out again to go to the grocery store."
Kento nodded and lightly squeezed your hands. "So I got the groceries," Got shoved into an alleyway and was straddled by the biggest man you've ever seen. Your purse and groceries were knocked out of your hands onto the ground. The man smelled disgusting and his breath wasn't any better. He had a knife in his back pocket, you could see it. When you struggled to get off of him, he pulled it out, immediately going for your throat. You dodged and managed to sock him in his face, which threw him off. You shoved him off of you and scrambled to stand up. He crawled towards you, attempting to quickly get himself onto his feet, swiping the knife in your general direction. Of course, your luck was horrible. It managed to make some sort of gash on your lower stomach.
You gasp more in fear than in pain, making distance between you and your attacker. Neither of you were great at fighting, which made this whole thing so tough to get through. He growled, attempting to make his way towards you again. Your heel dug into his face as you kicked him and he yelped in pain, scrambling back. You took that time to gather your stuff, running out of the alleyway towards the direction of your house. You forced yourself to hide the wound and bought an entire first aid kit at a convenience store on the way back. You stumbled and took it to another dark alley way to deal with the wound yourself. You'd be damned if you were caught bleeding by Kento if he makes it home early. You downed a few pain killers, knowing it wouldn't be enough and opened the kit, grabbing the alcohol to clean the wound. The entire process was a blur, but you gritted your teeth through the stitches. Thank god for your suture training from that one high school internship.
".......and made it back home just in time to start dinner before you got back." A soft smile reached your face as you fiddled your toes together. Kento smiled back and nodded once more. "That sounds great honey. I can't wait to try it. Your cooking never disappoints me." He lets go of one of your hands and caresses your face, thumb slightly swiping under your eye. "You look tired, did you get enough sleep last night?" You leaned into his touch and nodded even though your stomach lurched in nausea. "Yeah." He muttered an 'okay' and kissed your forehead.
"I'm going to take a shower. And if there's anything else you need help with, come tell me." You nodded once more and watched him walk towards the bathroom. When he was out of your sight, you quickly finished up with dinner, taking the roast and vegetables out of the oven.
---------------------
It was around bedtime that Kento really started to feel the affects of his job wear him down. He almost seemed to be excited to go to sleep, immediately crawling under the covers when you curled up on your side of the bed. You sigh to attempt and calm your heart. You were only wearing your nightgown and underwear as usual. But you prayed to whoever was in the sky that Nanami wouldn't touch your bandages.
You hear him turn off the lamp before wrapping his big and warm protective arm around your stomach. He sighed into your neck, silently pecking the area and closing his eyes. He rubs your stomach, getting as close to you as possible to share your body warmth with his. "Goodnight, Ken." He lives for the nicknames you give him and hums in appreciation. "Goodnight, baby-" His eyes slowly open at the feeling of a lump on your lower stomach. Nothing is heard in the house besides his calm breaths, not even yours reaches the air.
Before he can say anything, you softly grab his hand and place it higher to where it was before, eyes still closed. Kento blinks and thinks to himself. "Baby?" You stay silent for a second to pretend you're going to sleep. "Hm?" You respond. He says nothing. But he does attempt to touch it again, to see if he was wrong. You don't let him bring his hand back down.
"What's that?" You caress his hand. "....what's what?" Kento scrunches his eyebrows at your behavior and uses more force to pull his hand down, you don't let him again. "Y/n." You purse your lips and open your eyes. You fucking hate him for even deciding to even touch you tonight. You weren't ready. You didn't know that man was going to hurt you. Why do you have to suffer for the things others have done to you?? A deep force settles in your stomach. You've never felt as anxious and fearful as you did right now.
Kento brings his hand down with no fight this time. He touches the bandages once more before sitting up and removing the covers. He lifts your night gown and sees the long bandage that crosses over your entire lower stomach. "What....?" He shakes his head and lightly brushes his fingers over the bandage before looking up at your face. You don't dare meet his eyes and attempt to control your breathing before you begin crying.
"Y/n, what the fuck is this??" You sit up and hang your legs over the edge of the bed and Kento immediately crawls over the blankets to sit next to you. "Y/n-" "No. Please." You choke out a sob and wipe a tear that falls down your face. Kento brings you into his arms, caressing your head as you cry into his neck. "Oh my god..." Kento mutters into the air as he considers all of the possibilities for why you're hurt. Did you do this to yourself? Fuck, he knew it wasn't safe to let you deal with knives. It looked like a very recent gash, so it must've happened today. It isn't bleeding through, which is good...
Did someone else do this to you? His muscles immediately tense at the thought and his heart drops as he looks down at you. He pulls you out of his embrace and and gently pulls your hands from your face. Your bloodshot eyes and damp face breaks his heart into a million pieces. But not like how seeing that gash did. He coos and wipes your face of the tears as much as he could. "Darling, you know I love you and would do anything to keep you safe, you know that right?"
You sob again and shake your head. "Please don't...I don't wanna-" He cuts you off and tightly grabs your hands. "No. Don't even. I would never force you do anything. I just want you to answer my questions, okay?" He gently grabs your face and stares into your eyes.
"Did somebody do this to you?"
You stay silent.
"..........yes." You whisper.
Kento's face contorts into one of frustration. "Who did this to you?" Your ears ring and you feel yourself get dizzy with nausea. Everything about this just made you think you would end up back at square one. You gulp down bile that threatens to crawl up your throat. "Some guy....that I....saw when I left the store."
"What did he look like?" You shake your head. "I couldn't see his face....he was really big and tall. Wearing all black. 'nd he had a knife. He hit me with it." Kento nodded and pulled you into his arms once more. "Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me." He kisses your forehead and caresses your head. "Good girl. So good for me. Can I check it?" You slowly nod and he creates some space between the two of you to peel back the bandage. He hesitates, not wanting to see the damage. His heart lurches when he slowly peels it back, seeing the stitches that were done. They looked neat and cleaned. "Who did these?"
You look up at him when he puts the corner of the bandage back on your skin. "I did." He remembers that you took a class for medicine back in high school and nods in remembrance. "Okay. They look great. But I'm going to have to leave soon."
You know what that means and make no moves to stop him from getting up. He once again hugs you before kneeling on the ground to meet your eyes. "Next time this happens...please, please tell me. No more secrets. Remember what I said about secrets?" You nod and mess with the edge of your nightgown. "No more secrets.....I'm sorry." He softly smiles at you and wipes any stray hairs from your face. "It's alright, no need to apologize. I understand."
He presses a sweet and long kiss to your lips. Reveling in the soft plush of your lips on his. A lingering taste from your tears fall onto his tongue, but he doesn't care. He pulls back first, caressing your face. "Come on, let me tuck you in." You lean back into the soft blankets and mattress, Kento brings the blankets up to underneath your chin. He once again kisses your forehead and smiles sadly at you. "Goodnight, my love. Have sweet dreams. I will be back as soon as possible and will be here when you wake up." You nod and stare at his face. He seems to have newfound energy about him as he grabs some clothes from the closet, taking them with him into the bathroom to change.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#reader#yandere character#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#yandere nanami x reader#jjk nanami#yandere nanami kento#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jujutsu nanami#nanami smut#kento nanami#kento
157 notes
·
View notes
Note
pervy stepbro yuuji with his sis having a curvy body, big boobs and big ass :33
That’s all I had to say, so go crazy bestie 🤭
I love me some curvy representation especially as a girlie with big ASS-ets myself 🤭🤭
I loooooove Yuji with all my heart he's my absolute favourite character of all time>><< If you couldn't have guessed from my profile pic and header already ehe 🤤 So I'm especially interested in your guys' takes on him 😼👀👀 It goes without saying but this'll be very self-indulgent hehe
Thank you for your take!!<3
<3masterlist<3
~short drabble~
TW: stepcest, nipple play, curvy reader, creampie, mirror sex; use of nee-chan and good girl
Yuji is an ass man. We've established that a long time ago. But hit him with boobs and ass at the same time and he'll lose his mind. Pervy step bro Yuji who can't help himself but steal your panties if you leave them unattended. Pervy step bro Yuji who also can't help but palm himself through his sweatpants when you accidentally leave the door a little open while showering. Pervy step bro Yuji who definitely can't help himself when his pretty and thick Nee-chan is sitting on his dick in front of a mirror.
"You look so pretty like that holy shit." he practically whines against your back, your plush ass pressing against his abdomen, while he's balls deep inside of you. For an ass man he sure is playing with your boobs a lot, fondling them and twisting your perky nipples between his fingers.
"Amazing, you're squeezing me so tight. I won't last long if you keep that up Nee-chan. Hey, look at yourself in the mirror," he slurred while biting down on the juncture between your neck and shoulder. It hurt a little but at the same time it made you gush. He felt you react and licked over the spot he just bit.
"You like that? Like it when I bite and mark you up? Want me to claim you yeah? My god look at yourself."
You finally built up the courage to look at yourself in the mirror meeting his gaze which was hungry like he was about to devour you. You let out a soft mewl leaning your head to the side and giving him more access to bite and lick. As he was marking you up one of his hands stopped fondling your tit and slid down your tummy straight to your clit. He just barely grazed his calloused fingers over your sensitive bud, but it made you jump squeezing him tight.
"This feels good right? Show me how good it feels, let your body show me how good it feels and I'll play with your pretty little clit to make you cum."
You arched your back in response, tongue lolling out of your mouth at his words. "Please need it so bad. Please fuck me and make me cum. Please I need you, I like it so much. You'll make Nee-chan so happy if you make her cum Yuuujii~" you moaned his name as he began bouncing you on his cock while keeping a steady rhythm with his fingers. Because who was he to deny his pretty Nee-chan if she begged him so sweetly.
"Yeah 'm gonna make you cum, make you cream all over my cock and then I'll fill you up. Is that fine? Please can I cum inside?" he almost sobbed as he bit down on your shoulder to muffle a moan that was threatening to spill out.
You were the same, who were you to deny your pretty little brother of cumming inside. Your mind went fuzzy at the thought and all you could manage was a slight nod of your head while resting it on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Nee-chan thank you thank you thank you." you felt his whines pushing you over the edge, letting an obscene moan leave your lips as your wetness spread across his lap.
"Oh fuck good girl gonna cum gonna cum gonna-", he bit down on your neck this time and burried himself to the hilt while filling you up. He came so much you already felt it dripping out of you and onto his lap as he lifted you off of it and onto the bed. You were sure he was just as tired and done as you until you felt him shuffle his head between your sticky thighs and put your legs over his broad shoulders.
" 'M gonna clean you up, don't you dare squirm away from me" he mumbled and with an arm slung tightly across your tummy your fate was sealed. Death by overstimulation. But what you didn't expect was for this death to send you straight to heaven.
-----
Feel free to send me your Hot Takes as well ^^
#takes with nini♡#GAAAHHHH my favorite boi<333#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk stepcest#jjk scenarios#jjk headcanons#jjk drabbles#itadori yuji x reader#yuji smut#yuji x reader#yuuji smut#yuuji x reader#yuuji x you#yuji x you#self indulgent#yuji headcanons#step brother yuji#pervy yuji
274 notes
·
View notes
Note
HI can i request alhaitham x fem reader with multiple orgasm denials pretty please 🥺🥺🥺🥺(and other kinks too idm anything!)
have a great day :3
a/n: recently i'm starting to appreciate this know-it-all slab of meat and his undeniably juicy pecs, so here you go anon 😋
warnings: mdni, smut under the cut. porn with basically no plot, afab reader, panties pulling, fingering, orgasm denial, pussy slapping, punishment, oral (f receiving), squirting, slight degrading, dom and jealous alhaitham. kavetham x reader at the end hehe (@sashiavi this one is for u😼)
Your whole body is tense, a natural effect of the worry for whatever punishment Alhaitham had planned for you. He saw you talking with some other guy, twirling a strand of your hair between your fingers, and immediately felt a cold feeling pooling in his chest. When you got home, he grabbed you by your arm before you could say anything and pulled you on his lap on the couch. And now you're here, back to his chest, his thighs keeping your legs wide open while he pulls your panties up, looking at the way your folds leaked at his actions. "Alhaitham..." He gives another tug to your panties, making you mewl. "Shut up. This is what you get for being such a brat. My attentions and Kaveh's are not enough for you? Do you need to flirt with other men?". "I wasn't -" He interrupts you by ripping your little panties and throwing them somewhere in the room. "Lying will only make your punishment worse. Take it without complaining, and there won't be other consequences. " You sigh, knowing that he wasn't going to change his mind, and relax a bit in his embrace, before he spanks your pussy, making you gasp. He shushes you, rubbing your clit and smearing your wetness all over your folds, before slapping your clit again, one, two, three times. Then he mercifully starts playing with your clit, rubbing and circling it, continuously changing pace and pressure. He pinches it sometimes, making you jolt and whimper so prettily on his lap, working you closer to your orgasm. Your moans get more frequent, your body tenses up, your pussy twitching, and then he just stops. "No 'Haitham please- I need it-" You pant, feeling your climax just out of reach, trying to buck your hips into his hand, but he places it on them to keep you still. He ignores every plea that leaves your slip, only starting to touch you again when he knows your peak is far again. He goes on with this little game of his for what feels like hours. He plays with your clit, inserts his digits inside of you to press on that spot that makes you see stars, rolls and pulls your nipples, bites your neck before soothing the slight pain with kisses. When Kaveh finally gets home, your fluids have dripped on Alhaitham's lap and on the couch a long time ago. You hear the blonde drop the keys (that he actually didn't forget for once) in the bowl at the entrance before making his way to the living room. When he sees what's going on, he leans on the door frame, smiling at the view of his lovers on the couch. You look at him with big, teary eyes, silently begging him to put an end to your torture. He looks at Alhaitham, who nods to give him permission to finally make you cum. The architect then quickly walks to the couch, kneeling in front of your dripping and twitching pussy, immediately sticking his fingers inside of you and latching his lips on your puffy clit. He sucks on your sensitive bud, curling his fingers inside of you, while Alhaitham takes your nipples between his fingers to stimulate you even more. They quickly work you to the edge of your climax, only intensifying their actions when your body starts to twitch uncontrollably, your thighs squishing around Kaveh's head, your head thrown back on Alhaitham's shoulder. Streams of a clear liquid come out of your cunt, greedily drink by the blonde man. You slowly come back from your high, only to realize Kaveh has unzipped his pants and is slowly jerking his cock in front of your hole.
"You didnt think it was over, did you?"
#kai sins<3#kaveh x alhaitham#kaveh smut#alhaitham x reader x kaveh#kaveh x reader#alhaitham smut#alhaitham x reader#genshin impact smut#genshin smut
381 notes
·
View notes
Note
HII OMG,, Thinking about Vox/reader with postcoital dysphoria??? If ur comfortable with that ofc ofc!! Take ur time and ty!
Ok y’all I actually kind of cooked with this 😼😼
Also since you said postcoital I assumed you wanted it after sexy time so here you go <33
CW: General angst
——————————————————————————
When he was done Vox rolled over onto his back, leaving you in a sticky puddle of your own release. Your breath felt heavy and body sore, a pulsing pain between your legs from where he had you. Strange thoughts filled your head, shameful, invading, ones. Being with him had felt good in the moment – so fucking good – but now you felt…wrong.
You sat up, wrapping the thin cotton sheet around you, thoughts were growing dark and murky as swamp water. You felt dirty and used and spoiled and….wrong. Vox was still lying on his back, his hands clasped over his chest. His eyes were closed, exhausted after having spent himself inside you.
Slowly you rose, holding your sheet close to you. A shiver took hold of you, coating your body in gooseprickles and making your teeth chatter in an odd tempo. You needed to be away from him, though you didn’t understand why. Nausea and anxiety ran their way through you in cold ripples - leaving you with a sickness akin to not having eaten in days. The air was thick with the scent of sex - a cloying muddy smell strangely primal.
Entering the bathroom from such a place was jarring. You rubbed the sole of your foot on the ugly shag carpeting of Vox’s bedroom, savoring the warmth of it before stepping onto the chill of the tile. Behind you, you locked the door. Back against it, you breathed in, deep and shaky. Inside the bathroom everything seemed to stand still, the nervous anticipation before a tremor. The air was sharp and cold, causing you to cling to your sheet further, though it didn’t help much.
You lied on the ground then, curled with your knees to your chest like a quailing infant. So desperately did you want this feeling to end, but it seemed to feed on that hope. The act you two had done played over and over again in your head, every time making you feel more ashamed. You thought of your face contorting and body bending; The way he huffed and groaned when he was close, like a bear. You squeezed yourself smaller, how could you have done that? You didn’t know which was worse, the fact that he had done all of that to you, to your mouth, your face, your legs, your stomach, or the fact that you had wanted him to before. Out of the corner of your eye you saw yourself in the shiny silver mirror above the sink, a tiny ghost with red glass eyes.
The delicate surface tension in your eyes began to falter. Fat globs of salty tears pleading to be released. You tried to hold them back as well as you could, not allowing yourself the humiliation of it (even if you were the only one that knew.) But it hurt so terribly to keep all of this despair inside, the hinges of your jaw uncomfortably rigid and your throat tighter than any fist you could make. In your head you mocked yourself, trying to see if that could get your mind to stop racing. Crying? You’re crying because you let him put his cock in you? If everyone cried when they got fucked the lust ring would be flooded by now. That only served to make you want to cry more.
In the end, you let yourself cave. Hands shaking you sat yourself up, stroking your cheek. It’s okay sweet girl, calm down, I’ll let you cry. You gave out another heavy breath and looked at the thin fabric in your hand. You bunched the cotton over your mouth and screamed.
You let them out, those raw, throaty wails, like someone getting killed. Keeling over, you pressed your hot forehead to the cool tiles, feeling the way your tears and snot streamed down your face to make a pathetic puddle beneath you. Everything hurt, inside and outside. You were scared and disgusted and tired and guilty. Bile rose in the back of your throat, and quickly you crawled to the toilet, retching a stream of salty hot water. You stared down in the toilet bowl, looking at the froth of stomach acid and saliva marbling together. Weakness and spit. That’s all it was, weakness and spit. A headache was starting to swell inside your skull, extending from your temples to your eyes, aching to burst out.
“What are you doing?!” Nonononono please God, not him you can’t let him see you.
Your body felt light and formless, like you were made of cotton. Turning your head you saw him, briefs hastily put on, his face full of concern and fear. He dashed towards the toilet, kneeling down and pulling you close to his chest, rocking you back and forth. You felt hot and empty and ashamed. You sobbed for a while, shivering and scared. He stroked your hair, brushing flyaway strands behind your ears and wrapped your sheet around you more securely.He looked down at your tear-stained face, face flush and eyes glassy. A string of spit dribbled from the corner of your mouth and he wiped it away with his thumb.
“What happened?” His voice breathless.
“I dunno.” You mumbled, throat sore from your crying.
The two of you sat in silence for a while, him holding your body close while you calmed yourself.
“‘M tired,” You croaked.
He breathed out, looking down at your face again.
“Did I do something?”
“No…”
“Then what happened?” He was confused again.
You shrugged, trying to find words that could define how you felt. “Every time we…you know…” trailing off, afraid saying the act will turn your tongue yellow.
“Have sex?” You flinched at the bluntness and nodded.
“I don’t know, it’s just…” you wrap your arms around his chest, burrowing your face, “Afterwards I feel like I’m a bad person. Like…like I did something wrong.” You felt stupid explaining it like that. In dumb, easy words like a child would.
He held your face in his hands, “Did you not want to? Did…did I make you cry?” You shook your head no.
“I dunno… I just…I just feel that way after we do.”
“Like what?”
You pull away from him and press your back to the cool porcelain of the bathtub, pressing your knees to your chest. “Dirty and gross I guess…” Afraid he would take it the wrong way you look up at him from your eyes. “I mean, I like it when we do it. It feels good…you make me feel good but after I just feel…”
“Bad?” He answers. A simple one syllable word that seems to be both the stupidest and truthful description. You nod.
You both look at each other for a few beats before he helps you up from off the floor, seating you on the toilet. He turns the water for the tub on, so hot it makes his screen fog. Getting the idea, you ease your way in, the scalding bath making your skin itch and tingle.
After around 15 minutes of the tub filling he turns the faucet off with a whulp. You sit in the bath, feeling the heat on your skin and the steam of the water making your face sweat. In your ears you can hear the steady rhythm of your heart, one two one two. You look down at your body, staring at the red parts where Vox had nipped and kissed you.
“I don’t want to make you cry honey,” He says, his voice thick with remorse. You lean over the edge of the bath, holding his wrist before lacing your fingers together.
“You don’t. I promise.”
He kisses your forehead, humming. “We can do this after we…you know.” Vox runs his thumb over your knuckle, “We can talk too, and sleep together. I know I knock out all the time afterwards but you can wake me up and I can hold you if you want.” He offers with an awkward smile.
You give a small grin in agreement, nodding your head. “That sounds nice.”
Vox straightened himself up then, placing a clean towel on the toilet for when you were ready to get out. When you were, wrinkly as a prune, you wrapped it around you snugly. Your body was calm now, tranquil as still water. Feeling the texture of the Terry cloth of the towel you realized it was the first time in you didn’t know how long, that you weren’t still crying after sex. Easily you stood up, ready to face Vox again, happy to know that he was there to care for you.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox#vox#hazbin vox#fanfic#hazbin hotel fanfiction#request#fanfiction requests
103 notes
·
View notes
Note
PLEASE PLEASE #24!! breeding,spanking, and cum play are so hot ngl I’m begging you. also ik this pet name is a cliche, but could you use princess?
honestly make this the raunchiest, dirtiest, masterpiece ever.😼
Hello, my dear! Thank you so much for your request, I hope you like it! *hugs*😘🙈
— [MASTERLIST]; [1k Followers Celebration Masterlist] [SONG REC]
You and Patrick decided to have a child, and as a true perfectionist, he planned every single detail of your future pregnancy. One day he resolved that he wanted to breed you in some special place, so he decided to take you to Hawaii, where you could rest and it would also be very good for your health.
A sound of waves crushing lulled you into a sweet nap as you lay on the beach terrace under the tent on soft, big pillows. The surrounding air was so warm that it enveloped you like a cocoon, making you feel completely tranquil and relaxed. You let out a small gasp of joy when you felt a tantalizing sensation in your lower abdomen. At first you just squirmed a little in your place, but then you suddenly found yourself moaning lustfully from the nagging feeling in your womb.
"A-ahh," you mewled, your eyes wide open as you were now fully awake. "Gosh, Patrick?"
Confused, you sneaked under the thin blanket to see Patrick's flushed face buried between your legs, sucking on your sensitive bud.
"Good morning, sweet cheeks." Bateman murmured and continued to slurp at your dripping pussy, stroking your inner thighs with his large palms.
"Pat-Patrick! We're on the beach, for Christ's sake!"
He moaned against your clit, his vibration making you arch your back in a sweet convulsion. "We're in a private zone, don't worry," he tugged on your tip, then flicked it with his wet tongue. "Mmm, you were sleeping so adorably, I couldn't resist."
Twitching on the pillows, you had to shush yourself with a hand as his mouth was about to be the death of you - Patrick was greedily comsuming all of your delicious flavor, alternating between swiping your little tip and giving your pussy long licks. With a soft whimper, you couldn't help but grab onto his head for support, running your fingers through his brown hair.
"A-aww, Patty," you pressed a finger to your lips, making eye contact with him and melting from the inside out. "Mmhm ... it feels s-so good, Daddy."
You heard his sassy chuckle before he planted a sloppy kiss on your mound and pulled the blanket off completely.
"Daddy knows how to treat pussy right," he made his way to your chest, kissing your skin wherever he could. "My beautiful little girl."
Inch by inch, he set your body on fire, especially when he reached your heavy breasts, kissing and sucking them one by one. Gasping, you tilted your head back to give him better access to your boobs, and he immediately appreciated it as he locked his mouth around your swollen nipple, swirling his skillful tongue around it. God, you thought you were going to pass out from the pleasure, not to mention the way his hard groin brushed against your needy pussy, occasionally touching your clit.
"Mmm-aaah! Daddy, please..."
"Please, what?"
"Fuck m-me, please," your voice wavered with excitement. "Use my pussy, Daddy. I'm all yours."
"I know, Princess," Bateman mused after he had finished with your little peaks, leaving them completely swollen. "I know you're mine, but I love the way it sounds from your mouth."
Possessively, Patrick moved close to your face and pulled you into a hard kiss, you gasped against his mouth, tasting yourself and losing your mind with each slide of your tongues. In one smooth motion, Bateman released his fully erected dick and pressed your bent legs against your chest so he could fuck you really hard, insanely hard and deep.
It felt so amazing to be beneath him with your legs resting on his broad shoulders, to feel his big palms slapping your ass and then groping it so intensely. Before you closed your eyes, you watched him pepper your ankle with soft kisses, and then your whole body shook as he rammed into you in one quick thrust.
"A-aww! Daddy, mmmm …" you wrapped your legs around his loin and looked up at him, his toned muscles now flexing so much. "Oh, GOD, you are so b-big, so big …" You cried out, trying your best to adjust to his huge size.
With a sharp growl, Bateman leaned down and kissed your forehead, picking up the pace and pounding harder into you, pressing you down with his massive weight.
"Cry all you want… I know you're enjoying this, Princess," Patrick murmured, before getting on his knees and putting a pillow under your ass. "Fuck … you have such a tight little pussy ... mmhm, I'm gonna make her so full of my cum."
"Please, Daddy! I w-want to carry your child s-so badly," your miserable whimpering was all that mattered to him, that spurred him to fuck you faster, your bodies slapping against each other with shameless, nasty sounds. "A-aww! Gosh, it's so deep, mmm-aaah!"
"Oh, yes, my dear (Y/N), you will give me as many kids as I want," Patrick groaned, pulling out of you for a moment to jerk himself a bit and spill his pre-cum on your belly. "Jesus, look at you ... such a cock addicted slut."
You moaned pitifully from the feeling of his warm fluid on your skin.
Gradually, Bateman smeared his pre-cum along your abdomen with his fingers, tracing them up until they met your twitching lips. "Open your mouth."
He didn't have to ask you twice, you obeyed instantly, taking his soaked fingers inside and licking them clean.
"Mmm, you taste so delicious ... Daddy," your own dirty talk almost sent you over the edge. "I can't wait for you to knock me up, Patty."
Patrick grinned arrogantly but gently, enjoying the view of your exposed body covered in his dense liquid.
"I'm going to make you so fucking pregnant," he bottomed you out again. "Mmm ... and I'm going to do it again ... and again, Princess. Do you understand that?"
He grunted and you almost fainted as he changed the angle of penetration, pressing your elongated leg almost flat against your chest, stretching you from the inside with crazy intensity.
"Yes ... ahhh, yesssss ... I'm cumming, I ... GOSH!"
"That's it, girl ... cum all over my dick!"
He punctuated each word with ragged, rough strokes, prolonging your heavy climax and making you bite your lower lip almost to the blood. Your inner muscles were so tight that Patrick couldn't hold back anymore as he shot his hot cum into your throbbing womb, making it so full and abused that you seemed to orgasm again.
Nothing in this world felt better than being claimed by this irresistible man.
#american psycho#patrick bateman x reader#patrick bateman imagine#patrick bateman#patrick bateman x female reader#patrick bateman x you#slasher x reader#slashers x reader#slasher x you#slasher smut#patrick bateman smut#patrick bateman headcanon#christian bale smut#christian bale x reader#patrick bateman reader#christian bale
561 notes
·
View notes
Text
✦ RISKY !
★ ꒰ PAIRING ꒱ Lee Minho x afab reader
★ ꒰ GENRE ꒱ explicit smut (mdni), non-idol au, college au, enemies to lovers (not rlly)
★ ꒰ WC ꒱ 1k
★ ꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ exhibition, public sex, choking, unprotected vaginal sex, bondage, gagging, scratching, marking, biting, breast play, breeding, meandom!minho, semi hate sex, dry humping, semi clothed sex, Minho calls reader a whore at one point, yeah just vv nasty.
★ ꒰ SYPNOSIS ꒱ somehow you end up in a situation where you're getting fucked dumb in a janitors closet by the person you absolutely despise.
note: I'm back from the dead y'all 😼 Finally getting back into writing again 😽 hope you enjoyed this nasty piece of work, feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ~
Back pressed against the cold metal door of the janitors closet, hands gripping onto his broad shoulders for support, legs hoisted around his torso being supported by his hips, you feel his warm clothed cock pressing up against your clothed cunt while his tongue is ravishing the insides of your mouth.
His strong grip on your thighs tighten, as he breaks the kiss to start kissing along your jawline, moving his tongue back and forth on your soft skin. He makes his way down your neck to start leaving hickeys, while his hands start caressing the back of your thighs. When he bites a certain sensitive spot on your neck, it has you whimpering and grabbing onto his silky brown locks.
He slaps a hand to your mouth, muttering a 'quiet, do you want us to get caught?' Despite glaring at him, his cold gaze was doing things to you. You squeezed your legs tighter around is waist when you felt his hand make its way to your breast to give it a gentle squeeze. He lifted your shirt up, cock throbbing against your clothed cunt at the beautiful view. He massaged your tits, popping one into his mouth, making quick work of his tongue on your pink nipple.
He released it with a pop, then went to give your other nipple some attention. This had you grinding against him with your hands tangled in his hair. You let out an audibly loud moan on purpose, just to get a reaction out of him. And you did.
He bit hard onto your nipple before releasing it and grabbing your chin making your cheeks smush together, "be fucking quiet I said." He said in a more stern voice than before, causing shivers to go down your spine. He put you down and swiftly turned you around, pushing onto your lower back to make you bend over. You arched your back just enough, legs feeling wobbly even when he didn't even begin the real thing.
You heard him unbuckling his belt from behind you, and you turned your head to catch a glimpse. Fuck, was he big. You were doubting if he would even fit. He was thick, veiny but average in length. Before you could even comprehend how pretty his dick was, you felt him tie your wrists behind your back. "W-what do you think you're doing?" You were flustered to say the least. Speechless by how perfect his cock was.
"Tying you up so you can't escape. After all, I doubt you have the physical- heck, even mental capacity to keep up with my cock." He smirked at you before tugging on the belt one more time to make sure it was secure. Then he flipped your skirt up without warning, pulling your panties down then shoving them in his pocket. He gave your ass one slap, making you jolt in response.
He wanted to elongate this further but he was already getting impatient with the way you looked so fucking delicious with that short skirt you decided to wear on campus today. So, he decided to keep the skirt on as his fingers made its way to your entrance, taking some of your arousal then putting two fingers in your tight hole, only for your arousal to gush back out. You bit down on your lips hard to not anger him further, despite how much you wanted him to see red.
He took his fingers out, grabbing your face then shoving both fingers into your mouth. "Lick them clean, whore" he shoved them in further, triggering your gag reflex. You clawed his wrist as your eyes swelled up with tears. He took them back out, spreading a mixture of your own arousal and spit onto your lips. He wiped the rest on your cheek, before putting his hands on your waist, positioning himself to the entrance of your cunt.
He pushed in bit by bit, muttering a few curses as his hands gripped you tighter. You bit your lips hard, scratching on the door trying your hardest not to let out a sound. He bottomed out with one final thrust, earning a pretty loud moan from you. He immediately pulled out, taking your panties out of his pockets to shove them down your throat. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you hm? Just to rile me up? What a nasty fucking whore." He slapped your ass, hard this time, making tears fall down your cheeks. And yet, you couldn't even deny it. You did want him to absolutely ruin you after all.
He slammed his cock back into you with much force this time, with absolutely no warning at all. This made you cry out in pleasure, but it came out muffled because of the panties shoved down your throat. He wrapped his hand around your throat, giving it a few gentle squeezes. With minhos cock driving into you mercilessly, his hand wrapped tightly around your neck, along the makeshift ball gag shoved down your throat, it all made you suffocate, in the best way possible. You had already came once, but Minho didn't seem to care as his only focus was on the way his cock disappeared in and out of your juicy cunt.
Footsteps of the students walking by could be heard, which only riled him up further, causing him to thrust his hips into yours a lot faster and with a lot more force. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull, as you started to get limp from this intense fucking. His thrusts started to become erratic, signaling that he was close. Yet, he had no signs of pulling out. You didn't mind though, after all you were too fucked out to even think straight. You both came at the same time, his thick load gushing out mixed with your arousal. He pulled out, then pushed to fingers back in your hole to keep his cum inside.
He took your panties out of your mouth, helping you put them back on despite being drenched with your spit. He helped you stand straight, and your fucked out state almost made him hard again. "Don't even think about changing your underwear. Oh and, make sure to stop by my dorms when everyone's asleep. Only then can you take it off." You were sure you wouldn't be able to walk straight for a whole week. But, you were definitely coming back for more.
© lxverss, 2023 all rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize or translate my works on other sites.
#stray kids smut#skz smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids x reader smut#lee know#lee know smut#stray kids fanfic#lee know x reader#lee know x female reader#lee know fanfic#lee know x reader smut#skz x reader smut#skz x reader#stray kids#lee minho#lee minho smut#lee minho x reader#lee minho x you#lee minho x y/n#lee minho x female reader
210 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just thought of Ani on a mission in a bar and sees his secret gf dressed hot and they have a quickie in the bathroom while Obi Wan is distracted
stop because i've had this stewing in my inbox, you don't understand how excited I get when I see ur user pop up 😭💕
lil nsfw anakin drabble below <3
this is like the most anakin coded idea I've ever seen in my life. I just imagine (padawan 😼) anakin finding out he and obi-wan are steaking out a few people at a bar. so he very secretively comms his girlfriend his location and gets you to come over.
when he sees you walk in the door he loses his shit and starts blushing n getting all hard right next to obi-wan. you lock eyes with him and wink at him before getting a drink. obi-wan see's the wink and looks at anakin's flushed face "nervous anakin?" "n-no master" he lies. "focus this mission doesn't need to involve your hormones" obi-wan tells him. but like dawg how's pretty little anakin meant to control himself when you're wearing such a short skirt?
his eyes are glued to you the entire time as you have a drink at the bar and dance for a while. he gets angry every time a guy nears you and you politely decline his advances. obi-wan gets sick of anakin's incessant staring and moves to the bar to get a better view of the criminals they were watching.
you walk over to the bathroom and nod your head toward the door signalling for him to follow. he eagerly does jumping from his seat and secretly (it's actually really obvious tbh stealth skills are lacking) goes with you. he spots the red panties hung on the last stall door and finds you in there.
"hello jedi" you tease but he can't even think of a reply before he's kissing you and pressing you against the wall. "you're so pretty" he whines lifting you into his arms. you giggle and kiss him feverishly. "you better be quick before your master finds you in here" it's a challenge for him and he makes quick work of removing his robes to fuck you.
he barely has time to tease you how he likes before he's inside you making you bite down on his shoulder to keep quiet. anakin continues to pound you against the wall whispering jibberish into your ear, something about how hot you look and how desperate he is. he's trying to be a gentleman and use the force to assist in holding you up to play with your clit.
the messy sloppy sounds echo through the bathroom as he slams into you repetitively. "close?" he asks. "mhm, good boy" and that in itself sends him over the edge. cumming deep inside of you while your walls clench him hard, coming down from your orgasm.
anakin doesn't want to put you down, he'd prefer to carry you home but he's currently meant to be on jedi duty. he helps you stand up straight and you give him one more sloppy kiss before shoving your panties into his pocket. "baby...i don't wanna leave" he whispers. "don't worry my darling, I'll keep your cum inside of me till you get home" you coo wiping the lipstick marks from his lips with your thumb.
he rushes to the sink to scrub his face, almost completely hard from the last thing you said. "anakin! where have you been?" obi-wan asks with furrowed brows. "I needed to use the bathroom" "for 20 minutes?" "it's not my fault the cafeteria food makes me sick" anakin lied. obi-wan knew what that dirty little fuck just did and stormed out unable to cope with him tonight.
you made it even worse by sending anakin a "good luck" photo of your tits after <3
#MWAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS IDEA#THANKS POOKIE#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#ani wani#star wars smut#anakin smut#anakin drabble#everydaydreamer <3
280 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ask-survivors-guilt
Au By Cobalt-axolotl
1standup-blog
ขลุ่ยร้องเพลง
amoilpelo69
Profumo Di Femmina
sensimilia
Euphoria and Delírium
cyrenesroom
oh, will wonders ever cease?