#Peter being a little shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

not-rab · 10 months

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sirius: it’s so nice being held :)

death eater: ??! i’m holding u hostage

sirius: still :) it’s nice to be held

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ncutii-gatwa · 1 day

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#peter 'i'm a little shit' venkman strikes again

#ghostbusters #1980's #ray stantz #peter venkman #filmedit #fyeahmovies #filmgifs #usersugar #usermandie #useraurore #userlenny #edited by me #gifsbyemma #mine #need one of those days since last incident posters but for venkman and him being a little shit #also i love when ray joins in the fun

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my-castles-crumbling · 1 month

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unbreakable vow - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 182

It was a stupid idea. Stupider than the time in second year they tried to convince Peter to make an Unbreakable Vow with James that Peter would stop snoring. ("He'll have to stop then, right?" Sirius had reasoned. Remus had only just walked in in time.)

But still, they were in too deep now. Sirius stood at the door to the dorms, peeking into the common room, hoping this went according to plan.

"Remus!" he called, stepping into the room jovially, causing the aforementioned boy to look up at him...along with half the house to look over as well. "I couldn't bear it if someone else was your Valentine! Will you be mine?"

After asking, he gave a dramatic flourish up the stairs, and waited.

And waited.

Every pair of eyes in the room was glued on the door, nervously awaiting the punchline Sirius had cooked up.

"Sirius," Remus murmured into the silence, the entire room staring at the pair. "Please, please tell me there is not a bear up there."

Grinning sheepishly, Sirius shrugged. "Tell me you'll be my Valentine."

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hrlx23 · 5 months

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Conversations I’ve had that remind me of marauders characters part. 29

Sirius: do you ever wonder if-

Remus: nope.

Sirius: what-

Remus: no I don’t wonder that.

Sirius: I didn’t even finish what I was saying??

Remus: you don’t have to every time you say “do you ever wonder” it’s followed by the most buffoonery type bullshit ever said in mankind that only you would wonder about.

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bimoonphases · 1 month

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@wolfstarmicrofic March 14 – prompt 14: Polyjuice Potion – word count 700

Polyjuice Potion - Temporarily transforms the drinker into another person

Remus looked up from his book as Sirius and James stumbled in from the portrait hole. It wasn’t unusual for those two to disappear somewhere together, but the fact that Sirius’s shirt and trousers were baggier than what he usually wore and, conversely, James’s were very tight was.

“Did you two finally shag and put each other’s clothes back on by mistake?” Lily piped up from the carpet where Peter was absolutely destroying her at chess.

“You wish, Evans,” Sirius said.

“Admit it, you can’t take your eyes off me like this,” James added, pirouetting to show the way his trousers were clinging to his skin.

Remus frowned. Something wasn’t right.

“There’s something weird about you two,” Mary voiced his thoughts from the armchair where she was braiding Marlene’s hair. “I mean, weirder than usual.”

James winked while Sirius passed a hand through his hair and suddenly it clicked.

“No!” Peter exclaimed, apparently having come to Remus’s same conclusion.

He got up and walked over to their friends, looking at them closely.

“You didn’t!” he stepped back, eyes wide.

“Did what, exactly?” Marlene asked.

“These two went and drank Polyjuice Potion!” Peter said. “How did you do it?”

“Slughorn’s personal stash,” James and Sirius chorused.

“Wait, so you,” Mary pointed at James, “are really Sirius?”

“Correct,” ‘James’ bowed.

“And you are actually James?” Lily pointed at Sirius.

“You know it, Evans,” ‘Sirius’ smiled.

Remus got up from the couch, eyes fixed on his friends. And then it clicked again.

“For how long will it last?” he asked.

“No clue,” ‘James’ smirked.

“We might be back to ourselves by tomorrow, or we might not,” ‘Sirius’ shrugged.

“But why did-“ Remus started before pinching the bridge of his nose. “No, you know what? Don’t tell me. I’m going to bed. Pete, you coming?”

It didn’t take long for the other two to follow them into the dorm, but it was enough. Peter closed his curtains with a yawn and Remus settled in bed as he peeked at ‘Sirius’ flop down on James’s bed while ‘James’ climbed into Sirius’s before turning the lights out with a flick of his wand. Remus waited a couple of minutes then he got up and tiptoed to Sirius’s bed, silently parting the curtains.

“Pads?” he called softly.

“Moony?” James’s voice hesitated.

“Why?”

Remus settled on the mattress, searching for Sirius’s hand and ending up taking one of James’s calloused hands in his.

“It was fun?”

“If you say so. But it’s weird for me, talking to you and hearing James’s voice instead…” Remus reached up and let his fingers wander on the other’s mouth, ignoring the strangled sound which came from it. He got closer. “Or feeling James’s lips…”

The kiss lasted a couple of seconds before three things happened all at once. ‘James’ jolted back from Remus with so much force he fell of the bed.

“PRONGS, DON’T YOU DARE KISS MY BOYFRIEND!” came from James’s bed.

“LUMOS MAXIMA!” Peter shouted from his.

Remus blinked against the light, taking in James sprawled on the floor, Sirius wide-eyed by James’s bed and Peter, wand in hand, smirking from his.

“You really thought you could play us?” Peter said. “Make your two best friends believe you had swapped bodies?”

“It was worth a try,” James grumbled.

“Not so sure,” Sirius said, eyes fixed on Remus.

“Boyfriend, eh?” Remus smiled.

“I mean…” Sirius blushed. “If you’d like?”

Remus shook his head, laughing.

“I’d love to, you idiot.”

Sirius crossed the room and jumped on the bed, kissing Remus fiercely.

“Fucking finally,” Remus heard Peter say.

“You knew?!” James exclaimed.

“Of course I knew, Prongs, I’ve got eyes.”

Remus laughed again in Sirius’s kiss and they let go of each other, both smiling.

“Well, I learned two new things today, then,” James said, getting up from the floor.

“One is Pads and Moony because you’re oblivious, but what’s the other one?” Peter asked.

James looked at Remus and immediately looked away, blushing.

“Apparently, I’m not straight,” he said.

“Prongs, what the hell?” Sirius groaned as Remus and Peter burst out laughing.

“And that’s what you get for playing your friends for fools,” Remus smirked, pecking his boyfriend on the cheek.

#sometimes James and Sirius are idiots #and sometimes Remus is a little shit #also Remus being James's queer awakening #wolfstar #wolfstar microfic #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #marauders #marauders era #james potter #peter pettigrew #the marauders #the marauders era #lily evans #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #just writing (like i'm supposed to live)

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neonlight2 · 10 months

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Can we all just agree that Sirius and Regulus must have shit immune systems? Because let’s face it— they can’t be hot and healthy with those inbred genes.

I just imagine that’s one of the many reasons Remus and James keep such a close eye on him. And heaven forbid if you sneeze in their presence; they would either yeet the person across the room or use both their bodies to shield Sirius and RUN. Remus would be helping nurse Sirius to health, and say that it is honestly more tiring than changing every full moon because it’s like dealing with a drunk Sirius for a week (or more). He can barely breathe, he can’t eat on his own, and seeing as he could barely walk before— Sirius definitely can’t walk in this condition.

Then, because James gets withdrawals, he’ll pretend to be sick just so he can stay with Sirius.

(Also, this being if Sirius and Regulus were close or made up, Reggie would know what a pain in the ass it is so he’d send the Marauders medicine he helped create with Pandora. BUT he’d go nowhere near them cause a bitch ain’t taken chances. If you thought 6 feet was far— think again. Regulus wouldn’t even go near the Gryffindor common room/James’ house.)

Everyone agreed that this was the safest plan of action ofc, because they had all seem Regulus sick. And if you think Sirius would be a nightmare, Regulus is a fucking terror.

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siredtodeadgaywizards · 9 months

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Sirius: Hey, do you think I can stuff fifteen cigarettes in my mouth and smoke them at the same time?

Remus: You’re a danger to society.

Remus: And a coward. Do twenty.

James and Peter: guys, nO-

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80yearoldmanmoodboard · 4 months

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My gift to you all this holiday season.

The Monkees singing “Deck the Halls”

Season 2 Episode 15: The Monkees’ Christmas show

#Don we now our gay 💅 apparel #I’m so glad even in the early days of gay being slang for homosexual they were making gay jokes about songs before that was slang #no one can tell me not to do the same shit when watching/listening to things from the 50s #the monkees did it in the late 60s I can do it now #god I love the Monkees #the monkees #davy jones #mike nesmith #micky dolenz #peter tork #it is my gay given right #I will make gay jokes about things from the 50s and earlier or I am not a little gay boy with a mop top #(i am)

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pbnmj · 9 months

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Genuinely curious, what’s up with Noir’s age? And what does it have to do with his 08/09 run? ((You may ignore if you wish :D))

i no longer have to do an extremely long explaination about comics noir because it has already been done here, by foolsocracy!!!!!!! really great breakdown of his very vague age, which is never said outright in the 08-09 run, only implied!! my own personal take on this is that he's 17-turning-18 in the first one, just about graduated high school but not able to afford college (see the panel below LOL)

this also got a little longer than i thought it would, so under the cut for the rest of it! the tl:dr is "itsv!noir is not the same as comics!noir, and people saying that he's 19 isn't strictly true. to me, he's around 30!"

eyes without a face (the 09 run!!) only takes place 8 months after, in september 1933, which makes peter 18-turning-19. this is more of a headcanon though!! (see the noir birthday poll, which made me a noir-is-a-december-baby truther)

(peter being a libra is mentioned once in the first issue of amazing spider-man (2015), mostly as a punchline, and a specific date of october 10th was given in another issue that i have lost. other media, like with the mcu, has his birthday on august 10th. but to me noir is a sagittarius and you cannot pry that from me)

the 2020 run of noir begins establishing the year as 1939, making peter around his mid-20s, and 25 if you believe me on the 'peter was 17 in noir 2008' LOL.... i won't lie though i haven't read this one properly i very quickly skimmed so pinch of salt regarding my takes on the 2020 run

noir being in his teens during the first original runs is why "itsv!noir is 17-19" goes around so often! i've seen that on tumblr, twitter AND on tiktok and i don't mind what people hc, but it has become a pet peeve when people say it like its canon even though it's never been mentioned by the writers or the art book. itsv!noir is similar to his comic counterpart, but his differences in his origin story make me interpret him as a different noir (like how peter b.'s dimension is 616B, making him... 90214B?)

again, we are straying from itsv canon/etc here because i'm deranged, but i personally hc noir as being 32! some of my friends think he's in his mid-20s, others think he's older, but really the only reason is that 32 is the midpoint between the other two peter parkers: ripeter was 26 and peter b is 38. he's also voiced by nic cage, which makes me think older in the first place!

i just like the idea that he's more experienced that ripeter, but hasn't gone through as much as peter b. he spends most of the movie being broody ("moral ambiguity of your actions!", "matches burn down to my fingertips", etc etc), or snarkier than you'd expect ("it's that easy" "who are you again?" "you gonna fight or are you just bumping gums" etc etc). he also very sweetly tells everyone that he loves them before he leaves !!! i feel like it can in fact be in character for a peter parker in his late 20-early 30s, distanced from his tragedies in his own world by time (he doesn't forget them, that's different !) being able to look out for the spiders around him.

okay now we are VERY deep into hc territory, but it makes him able to balance out the rest of the itsv spider-gang as an older-brother figure who's able to guide peni, miles and gwen but also be able to act as a voice of reason for peter b. and ham if the sitauation calls for it. that being said noir is still peter parker and is therefore capable of spider-esque tomfoolery, which can lead to him misjudging the need for a snarky one liner ("this is a pretty hard core origin story"). my characterisation of him is also very inspired by heyitsspiderman, the itsv fic that changed me for the better, and noir isn't even in it that much LOL

veering back into itsv!noir's age and your actual question though: he's always read older in the movies, and not at all 17-19. noir is always going to be around 30 (32 if i have to give a number) to me!! if anything, he did go through the same kind of 'canon events' as comics noir did, but is an older and more experienced version of him, with tweaks to the backstory (like a radioactive spider instead of a spider-god, and webshooters instead of organic webbing). there are reasons ofc to see him being younger (egg creams are non-alcoholic, and that if it's 1933, his comicsverse self would be 18-19 too) . however you must consider that sony didn't expand on this and therefore it's up to fan interpretation and also that

#this kind of turns into meta . sort of . sorry about that #and i know some people take those jokes noir makes as like. just very blunt observations of what is happening #i personally believe they are jokes that aren't landing. or just him being a bit annoying <3 i love him for this #i can talk forever and forever about movie noir. its how i got into him in the first place . picked me up and swept me away #and now i overthink and read too much into his like. 6 mins of screentime #also the rich beautiful itsv noir backstory that exists only in my mind..... which is mostly the same #just with small tweaks and adjustments. its MY SIDE CHARACTER and I GET TO CHOOSE THE HCS #eg. the insane 'peter quits working at the bugle very annoyingly for everyone involved before becoming a PI' like this shit just #swirls in my brain. forever and ever.#noir #answered #edit: sorry im just realising this is boiling down to itsv noir is freshly out of his 20s #therefore experiencing post 20s clarity and is not yet going through a peter b-like midlife crisis #and is not a teenager anymore and doesn't have to battle puberty as well as supervillians #so he's somehow doing a little better than the rest of them and able to pass on funny little tips and lifehacks

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starker-sorbet · 10 months

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When Tony and peter gottogehter they chose to keep their relationship a secret, to carry on as just friends in public only to go to small motels as if carrying on an illicit affair. Not for any worry about anyone being disaproving of their relationship (well anyone important to them anyway), but for the thrill of the secrecy itself. It kept their relationship as something just for them while sitting back and watching all their friends try desperately try to set them up at the same time. Which they did accknowledge was maybe one of the main reasons they kept this a secret. All their friends reactions to their 'failed' attempts were hilarious especially as they amped up their 'pining' for each other.

@starkerfestivals 2023 summer bingo fill: I5 - Secret relationship

card below

#starker #starkerfestivalsevents #SFSummerBingo23 #secret relationship #tony and peter being little shits watching the avengers descend into despair at their 'obliviousness'#moodboard #my moodboard

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thompsborn · 1 month

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14 years old, only like a month into being spider-man, peter takes down a mugger and the guy is cursing peter out and peter just calmly says "i'm fourteen" and watches this dude have a crisis

"no you're not"

"i literally am. did you not hear my voice cracking every two seconds? pretty sure i only started going through puberty last week"

"you're lying"

"believe what you want"

"why would you tell me that if it's true"

"because no one will believe you and i think that's funny. also i want you to know that you just lost to a freshman in high school. even if you don't believe me, you can't prove that i'm lying. this is never going to leave your brain. i won the physical fight and now i'm playing with psychological warfare. and i called the cops. anyways, bye!"

mugger gets arrested and is like "no seriously i swear to god he was in these like red and blue pajamas and had a mask and goggles and he said he was fourteen and psychological warfare and-"

#idk if anyone else will be entertained by this but mcu peter being a little shit means the world to me #i mean lets be clear every single version of peter parker is a little shit #but mcu peter is painted as this innocent little fuckhead by a lot of the mcu fandom which like. sure yeah its fan content have fun with it #but personally peter's sass and attitude and anger problems are some of my favorite aspects of his character #��if you think about it this is really your fault” bro said that to TONY STARK to his FACE #he only backpedaled because tony was visibly upset by those words but dude was fully about to commit to that angle #peter (blaming himself; drowning in guilt): ya actually i did nothing wrong im 16 and its all ur fault so maybe calm the fuck down thanks

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coffin-contemplator · 9 days

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❝one of furnaces & bed hogs❞

Summary:

“Strahm’s trembling. Not shaking or even shivering. Trembling.”

Strahm’s trembling. Not shaking or even shivering. Trembling. If the edge of the mattress wasn’t this far away, he would be worried about falling off, his muscles convulsing so much despite multiple layers covering his body. No doubt, a few more hours like this and he’ll be all sniffly and sneezing by the sunrise. Why does Hoffman’s flat have to be this cold all the damn time?

The asshole in question seems to be unaware of the other man’s turmoil. The only thing keeping him from tumbling down onto the hard floor is the wall that’s unfortunately supporting most of the detective’s weight. He’s fast asleep, not a care in the world about being pushed to the side of his own bed by Strahm, even though it’s big enough to fit both of them.

The longer the FBI agent stares at him, the more obvious it becomes that waking that guy up would be close to impossible. At the moment, he’s just about as still (and possibly as heavy) as a damn rock.

Strahm huffs, frustrated, desperately searching for a good reason to be annoyed with the latter. He hates being honest with himself in such situations but the conclusion is undeniable—he has absolutely no one to blame, except his own body. The man beside Strahm is on his way to the floor, with no bedding to cover himself, barely even using his pillow. Both the blanket and the comforter are secured tightly around the agent, as he struggles with the temperature.

It’s really not fuckin’ fair. And yes, it’s a childish thought but then again, the problem is not much more serious than that, either. At least, from the objective point of view.

His hands are so cold. Curling up in a ball, he squeezes them between his thighs. That doesn’t help—nothing helps. Another violent shiver runs through him and he hides his face in the pillow for a second. He can’t go on like this, there needs to be some solution.

Breathe in, breathe out. Calm down. Think.

Strahm peaks again at the other man. There’s an idea—a bad idea but an idea nevertheless.

He reaches for Hoffman, carefully but deliberately. His palm settles over the latter’s heart (and if anyone asked him about it, he’d claim the spot was accidental), as the agent scoops closer. Just as the distance between them shrinks to mere inches, Strahm freezes.

He waits, refraining from releasing the breath he’s holding. Surely, the sudden cold touch will make the detective stir, at the very least? That wouldn’t be the desired outcome, of course, but Strahm has to consider all the possibilities.

Hoffman doesn’t react. Not even a twitch. Silent and unmoving, his chest still rising and falling at regular intervals. The agent exhales, relieved. It’s not that he’s scared of his partner’s reaction—he just doesn’t like to be seen while vulnerable.

Focusing on the physical contact now, he allows the sensation to envelop him. Damn. Just damn. The man lying beside him is so, oh so warm.

Encouraged by a lack of acknowledgement from Hoffman, he allows his other hand to join in. Both of them travel down, halting around the latter’s waist. Strahm lets them rest on top of the love handles. He’d never admit, not even before himself, just how much he loves this part of his partner’s body. In a way, it’s comforting, being able to touch like this.

He begins to relax a little, not as tense as he was just a minute ago. Uncurling slowly from the protective ball he’s made of himself, he’s now brave enough to fully close the distance left between them. In all honesty, Strahm’s never thought he’d ever find solace while cuddling into Hoffman, seeking heat. And yet, here they are. He and that giant portable furnace of his.

Finally, the agent may allow his eyelids to fall closed, the haunting uncomfortable feeling no longer present. For once, it doesn’t take much more than that for him to fall asleep.

***

The sun is already way above the horizon once the detective’s eyes flicker open. Still in the sleepy haze, at first, his senses don’t catch anything unusual about this morning. It takes him a few more minutes to fully get back to consciousness and realise the strange sensation flowing over him.

He’s hot, and not in an attractive way. He’s actually sweating, despite the thermometer on the window nearby showing rather low temperatures outside.

The hard surface against his back will probably prove to be the outer wall which, although relatively normal (happens every time he, for some godforsaken reason, decides to share the bed with a certain FBI agent), makes the fact that Hoffman isn’t even slightly chilly significantly weirder.

And then, he looks down. And what he’s met with is a mess of dark dishevelled hair. He’s sandwiched between Strahm and the concrete.

The initial surprise quickly changes into amusement, his face lighting up in a teasing grin. If the other man was awake right now, Hoffman certainly wouldn’t spare him any remarks. But as long as that’s not the case, their predicament cannot be allowed to go to waste.

The detective reaches for his phone left on the window sill. Turns it on, takes a picture. The agent doesn’t even stir.

Hoffman takes a glance at the screen, making sure it saves. It did, good. Perez will appreciate it.

Note: Thank you so much for reading another one of my fics! 💚 If you enjoyed this one, please consider stopping by my AO3 profile! My works usually get published there a bit earlier!

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hrlx23 · 4 months

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Conversations I’ve had with my not girlfriend that remind me of marauders characters part. 48(?)

Gray = Remus

Blue = Sirius

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prongs-slut · 7 months

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@prongs-slut H.A

Regulus' rings always found their way in James' hands. He would pick them up after meeting him and just walk around wearing them like it was the highest privilege. When Regulus has first asked him why, James told him "whenever someone comments about the rings, it gives me a chance to talk about you" . That was probably the moment he knew, that a life without James Potter is life not worth living. That was also the first memory that flashed in his mind when he was about to die, followed the memory of the ring he bought for a marriage proposal he will never get to go through with.

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yourgalgremlin · 3 months

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Me too, bestie.

#gay sirius black #sirius black #sirius being sirius #james & peter & remus & sirius #sirius orion black #sirius is a little shit #wolfstar #remus lupin

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pumpkinrootbeer · 1 month

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Things I think about all the time regarding Peter B is how a lot of his movement feels almost like laziness but it's actually just an absurd amount of skill and experience. he's been doing this longer than anyone else there, so he knows how that villain speech is going to play out, doesn't look when he fires a web because he knows exactly where it's going to land, and he's absolutely able to predict where Miles is going to go and catch up to him when no one else can. because peter b has been at this longer than everyone else there and it's literally second nature to him. give me more middle aged experienced superheros please.

#:v #I get that he's the comic relief but also I'm on my hands and knees begging #let me see him use his skill again 🙏#peter b parker #atsv #two things that kill me:#one: peterb is so fucking good at predicting shit #genuinely a genius right #he absolutely did not see Miguel hurting miles as a possiblity he was shocked #two: he spends that whole fucking fight telling Miguel to go easy on miles #and cheering miles.#okay three things actually #the little smile miles gives peter when Peter says ''he did have a plan!'' so cute.#give me my useless pathetic older brother with his cool dorky younger brother dynamic back please #wait four things actually #Miguel and Gwen were both surprised when Pete showed up #he was not in the plan when it came to talking to Miles #the had talked about miles being an anomaly right! and Miguel was confused and frustrated when Peter showed up #PETER WASNT THERE TO LET MILES DOWN EASY #AT LEAST NOT BY DESIGN #MIGUEL HADN'T ASKED HIM TO BE THERE MIGUEL HADN'T WANTED HIM THERE #peter being there wasn't a ploy to manipulate miles it was peter genuinely trying to help miles #and failing of course #my perfect failson idiot boy dilf 🫶🫶

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