don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

An eligible husband.. (a Jegulus and Rosekiller Microfic)

For @imheredisappointingmyparents TW: deadnaming

He knew it was stupid to laugh. He was asking for trouble, really. But it was too perfect. He couldn't help it.

"Evan?" he asked, looking at his mother.

"Yes, Regina. You must marry an eligible pureblood and carry on our line," Walburga explained, her expression steely.

Regulus looked back at Evan's picture and tried not to burst. "You want me to marry Evan," he stated, just to be sure.

"Yes, Regina. We're in talks with his family."

"Right. I...right. I have to go, Mother. The Hogwarts Express arrives soon," Regulus said with a roll of his eyes. In his head he knew that he was more likely to marry the Giant Squid than Evan, but it wasn't worth arguing with his mother now.

-

When Evan joined Regulus and his other friends in their normal compartment, Regulus knew right away that he wasn't the only one who had received the exciting news. It was all over Evan's face.

So he decided to...share the news.

"Evan and I are engaged," He volunteered casually as Evan sat down next to Barty, who immediately yelped and started coughing.

"What? You're-" Barty asked, his face aghast.

But Regulus just grinned, enjoying the entertainment. "Yes, nobody's told you? We've been set up. We're going to be married after Hogwarts."

Immediately, Evan started calming Barty, rolling his eyes and saying he was not going to marry Regulus.

"But Evan! We would be such a good couple," Regulus deadpanned, fighting back a smirk.

"Just wait until your boyfriend finds out!" Evan retorted loudly. "He's even more territorial than Barty!"

Regulus paled, thinking about James's reaction. He didn't quite fancy holding him back from beating up his mother. "I want a divorce," he grumbled to Evan.

They’ll have you feel like you’re asking for too much. Truth is, they can’t offer much. It’s like I’m expecting a fountain quality from a drain individual.

k.b // by jerry flowers jr

my beloved writers, here's a daily reminder that your writing is never ever trash or bad as long as you have fun writing it. go wild and have fun. there're someone out there who will love and cherish those words you wrote. ♡

To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardian’s rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed he’d forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying ‘if I’d known you hadn’t left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,’ then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancé, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.

"Why can't the freaks on AO3 just go and make a site for all the gross stuff and leave AO3 alone."

Because AO3 is that site. Because AO3 was that site long before you decided AO3 was better than the sites you bullied us off of before, and I can promise you if someone somehow comes up with a fanfic site you like better specifically for the 'gross stuff' you'll try to bully us off that too so you can benefit from it.

AO3's specific core purpose is to preserve fanfiction, yes, but it was also instigated as a host site for the fanfiction that kept getting yeeted off other platforms like Wattpad. Its designed to preserve all fanfiction, not just the fanfiction you, personally, think is 'allowed' to be written.

AO3 is the site for all the gross stuff the freaks make. We've been there just as long as you. We've been funding it just as long as you have. AO3 has specifically said you have a place here. The timeline was literally:

Wattpad/FF.net/LiveJournal purge fanfics > AO3 is born > The people who's fics got purged moved over to AO3 > AO3 gains popularity as the best functioning site > The people who pushed for the fics to be purged off Wattpad move to AO3 > The same people try to push for AO3 to purge fics.

AO3's source coding is open-access. You go make a polished, strict, rigid site where nothing 'icky' is allowed. You go make a site where you can control what is hosted. We already have our space.

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

Shirley Jackson, We Have Always Lived in the Castle Vincent van Gogh, Garden at Arles (1888)

My brain will just create new WIPs against my will, it’ll just start going, I have no say in which one I work on, in fact, WIP actually stands for Writer in Peril, help

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

It’s always “what is your favorite color?” and never “what are your thoughts on the intensely queer coded relationship of Neil Perry and Todd Anderson in the 1989 film ‘Dead Poets Society’”

girls will be like hm this song reminds me of the most tragic thing that has happened to me I think I'll listen to it on loop

Anna Karenina (2012), dir. Joe Wright

It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?

Hey btw I don't know who needs to hear this, but those adults telling you that your teen years are the best years of your life? Yeah I don't know what the hell they're smoking, either. I'm 29 and every once in a while I just sit here and think "man, it sure sucked to be 14. Glad I never have to do that again."