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#Nothing makes sense so she's holding out judgement until they reach the end of the line
kelpiemomma · 2 years
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"you're not alone"/"I've got your back" in the Jumping The Rail universe with Akari and Emmet/Elesa.
Prompt fill for @forgersfeline
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"You don't believe me, do you?"
Elesa looked up at the question.
Akari had come storming back to their camp with red-rimmed eyes and grit teeth after another training session with Emmet, throwing herself to the ground and her sleeping bag. She'd roughly adjusted it, grumbling the entire time, before laying face down and breathing. If their routine was anything to go by, Emmet wouldn't be back for another couple hours. He needed to sulk over her lack of advancement in training and reassure himself that he was right in bullying the girl. She needed to have a talk with him soon.
"What do you mean?" Elesa finally asked. Akari turned her head to meet her gaze. The girl's eyes were tired, bags heavy under her eyes despite her age.
"Emmet doesn't believe me. He just thinks I can somehow lead him to Dad, like I've hidden him somewhere. He thinks it's a game. You've never said one way or another."
"It's a bit hard to digest," Elesa admitted, "but you've got living proof. The clothes you came in- they're not like anything you'd find outside of specialty stores. And your pokemon, especially. C4's variant of Typhlosion died out long ago. Alphas haven't been seen in any region in generations. It's hard to swallow, but... it makes some sense."
What didn't make sense was her similarities to Dawn. The slope of their eyes, the shade of their hair, the curve of their face... she looked like the champion, if you just added some scars. It made it hard to believe one way or another- was this Dawn with amnesia, was it truly a time traveler, was she a time traveling Dawn? There were so many questions, yet none would be answered so easily.
She wanted to believe Akari's story. She wanted to believe that she had woken up on a beach, that she'd been taken in by a loose team and was helping develop the first pokédex, that she had run across Ingo accidentally-
But everything sounded like something from a fantasy novel. It was all too fantastical. It made sense as much as it didnt. Akari had amnesia, so what if she was Dawn and didn't know it? But Ingo had been gone for almost five years and Dawn had only been missing a few weeks; the time periods didn't match unless something truly bizarre was happening.
"Honestly, there's not much I ever believe until I see it. And I can see it in you." She saw something in Akari, but she didn't yet know what. "I don't know what we'll find when we find Giratina," or even if they would find Giratina, "but I'll be there with you, for certain. I'll see you to your destination, just like the twins would." Elesa smiled warmly at Akari.
The girl looked back at her with an impassive, thoughtful gaze. Did she believe Elesa, or did she think the gym leader was simply trying to placate her? She played her cards so close to her chest it was difficult to tell. For all the affection she showed and basked in, Akari was remarkably reserved. She didn't often speak her mind, especially not to or around Emmet.
"You'll help me?" Akari finally asked, quiet. "No matter what?"
Elesa nodded firmly.
"I've got your back."
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ceru-at-hogwarts · 1 year
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Ominis' Boggart [part 1 - 12 years old]
[SFW, 850 words. Just a drabble about 12 years old Ominis encountering a Boggart. I'll post part two with an older version of him later.]
My writing master list
“Mr Gaunt, you are next,” Professor Hecat said as she watched Anne and Sebastian went back to the back of the room.
Nervously, Ominis took a step forward, aware of his surroundings more than before. He was wide awake now. He could hear whispers of their classmates, of the Boggart shaking the wardrobe violently, of a loud click when Professor Hecat opened the door.
At first, he could feel nothing. Then slowly, he could sense that the Boggart had taken a blurry, undefined shape of mass. A person. A human being. A woman. And it started to scream, in a high pitch of a young woman’s voice, twitching on the floor. Beside him, was a cruel voice he knew so well. “CR…”
“NO!” Ominis screamed, never allowing Father to finish the Curse. He did not know how long he screamed in terror, but then he felt a firm but gentle pair of hands holding his arms and someone calling his name gently. It took him a few moments before he realized it was Professor Hecat. She must have locked the Boggart back into the wardrobe and was now talking to him calmly, telling him that a Boggart could do no real harm.
Still, it shook him to the core, to relive this once again so soon. He ran away from the classroom blindly, half forgetting to use his wand to navigate, bumping into objects. He ran until he reached the nearest bathroom where he vomited all he ate that day into the toilet bowl.
It took him a good while to calm down, putting his head under the cold running water before he finally managed to get back to class. The room was nearly empty, Professor Hecat must have dismissed it early. After all that happened with his and Sebastian's Boggart, it was not unexpected.
“Mr Gaunt, a moment if you please?” Professor Hecat said while waiving the last of the students to leave the room. Ominis gulped, knowing what was coming. Professor Hecat led him to her office and closed the door behind her.
“Have a seat, Gaunt, and don’t make that face. You are not in trouble,” she said. “May I see your hands?”
Ominis took a deep breath, before showing her his open palms. He could feel Professor Hecat’s wand barely touching its surface. He felt magic humming and the memories of that summer stirred. Things he would rather keep buried forever. Things he wished he could forget. Then the magic stopped, and he felt that Professor Hecat had sat on a chair beside him and that their heads were level.
“All major magical spells and activities always leave detectable traces,” she said finally. “Nothing of course can be proven, as the echo can never prove who cast it and who received it. Each type of magic leaves a different echo, including the Dark Arts.” Professor Hecat continued while Ominis kept silent. For a long while after neither of them said anything.
When she spoke again, her voice was very gentle. “Is there anything you would like me to know, Ominis? Anything at all?”
The gentleness and understanding in her voice, her lack of judgement, and at the same time, her offer of confidence nearly disarmed all that was remaining of the wall Ominis tried so hard to maintain. He felt like he was about to slip and let that barrier down, taking the kind offer and crying his eyes out, letting out all the anguish he had kept all summer and all the long eleven years he had lived through. The Cruciatus Curse he had once again experienced as a reminder of his attempts of refusal to cast it on Muggles, and that in the end, the pain broke him so bad he ended up casting the Curse himself, the last one barely two days ago, just before the new school year.
And all these times, all he wanted was to spend a dull summer, walking in the garden smelling the flowers, reading, feeling the wind on his cheeks and the rain wet his hair, a quiet and uneventful summer. All that everything people often take for granted. All he never had.
“No… no P-professor,” he said quietly. He bit his lips so hard that it bled to stop himself from crying. He could feel Professor Hecat’s was watching him intently, but he persisted. Talking would open up things he’d try to bury deep, and if he cried, he would never be able to stop. Talking meant trouble. A part of him still could not forget the consequences of tears shed at inappropriate times in front of his family for as long as he could remember.
Finally, Professor Hecat sighed. “Very well, Mr Gaunt, you may go. But please remember that if there is anything you would like to tell me, my door’s always open. And don’t think I don’t have a good guess of what might have happened, and what you saw in that Boggart.”
Ominis nodded, wiping blood off his lips with his robe’s sleeves as he left.
[Note: I always have this headcanon that Hecat had a suspicion of what happened in his home, and always kept an eye on him. She is one of my favourite professor in Hogwarts Legacy.
Also, Ominis' boggart probably never have a defined shape, and I'd love us to experience it as he did.]
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falcqns · 3 years
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Hi, first of all i love your work 💕 and second, I wanted to request a Chris Evans angsty to fluff one shot? Where he is much older than the reader (she’s in her early 20s) and they have confessed their attraction for each other but are not sure how to proceed, nothing much happens during the confession. But the next day there’s an event or party where both attend separately, during it they stare at each other from across the room but suddenly Chris is crowded mostly by women much older than you and they flirt with him, and he sees you getting sad and insecure about your feelings and about his feelings too and obviously your age, so maybe you run off somewhere else and he decides to follow and then reassures you he likes you, then it’s all fluff? Maybe with a kiss at the end?🥺 thank uuuu!! I hope you’re having a nice day💓
Age Gap
pairing: chris evans x younger!reader
warnings: age gap, fluff, angst, insinuations to smut, hannah montana reference lmao
a/n: thank you for the request and i hope you enjoy! also i wrote this on my phone so i apologize for any mistakes lol
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being 21 and having a crush on a 39 year old was tough.
finding out that that 39 year old felt the same was even tougher.
when you got the chance to audition with him for his new movie, Deep Silence, you jumped at it. just getting to be in a room with him blew your mind, but when your agent called you and told you you got a role, you were ecstatic.
you had originally auditioned for the role of Emma Garner, Chris’s characters daughter, but he decided you were perfect for the role of his characters wife, Francesca Garner instead.
you had no idea why. you were barely 21, and he was 19 years older than you. it would make so much more sense for you to play his daughter, but you accepted the role of his wife nonetheless.
at least now you won’t have to watch your crush kiss another girl, something that was all too familiar in high school.
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when you two had your first love scene, you were terrified. how were you going to keep the fact that you were incredibly attracted to your co star a secret while acting out something that is so private?
you had a suspicion that he felt the same during filming, when he’d purposely ground his hard on into your centre and rasped into you ear “if you liked that”, but he ran away to his trailer before you could ask him about it.
you thought he was finally going to talk to you about it when he approached you a few days later, but he ended up just asking if you wanted to go to disneyland with him and Scott and his boyfriend, to which you accepted.
the day was fun, with the four of you taking lots of photos, going on lists of rides, eating lots of food (that ultimately made Scott throw up after one two many churros and and a ride on Seven Dwarves) and ended in you guys watching Happily Ever After. About halfway through, Chris pulled you into his arms, and pressed his lips to yours.
as soon as he kissed you, all the background noise faded away, and the two of you stood there like teenagers making out for the rest of the show.
when that happened, you thought for sure that he’d finally ask you out. you’d ask him out, but that seemed insanely intimidating, and you weren’t down for that at all. but, he didn’t make a move. other than kissing. he’d kiss you constantly, but it never progressed passed making out, and you were a little disappointed.
eventually, comic con came up, and you wouldn’t be attending with Chris, rather than the TV show you were a regular on. you had spotted him watching you in the crowd, thanks to your favourite actress who was also on the panel with you. you attended his as well, and even asked a question, as your movie hadn’t been announced yet, so people wouldn’t know you unless they watched your show.
then, the after party rolled around. you had messaged briefly, but hadn’t really spoken, something you were hoping to do tonight. you had reached your wits end, and just decided to man up and talk to him about where you two stood.
but, you couldn’t find him. you’d wandered around with your co stars and talked to a few directors and casting agents to get your name out there for future projects, but you couldn’t for the life of you locate Chris.
Until you got to the bar. you had just ordered your favourite drink, when you spotted him at the other end of the bar. but, he wasn’t alone. he was surrounded by five or six women who were definitely much older than you, and your heart sank.
it didn’t shatter, however, until you saw Chris flirting back. your eyes welled up with tears, and you tried to wipe them discreetly without Chris or anyone noticing, but of course that didn’t happen.
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Chris was doing his best to ward off the ladies swarming him, so he could come and find you. he had been leading you on for too long, and he just needed to ask you out already, before another guy snatched you from his fingers.
suddenly, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and looked up, thinking it was Scott coming back with more food, but his heart dropped when he saw you. you were stood there, looking absolutely magnificent, but your eyes were full with tears, almost to the point of spilling over onto the cheeks he loved to kiss and hold in his hands so much.
he looked at the swarm of ladies that had formed around him, and swore, realizing what you were probably thinking.
he watched as you turned and stormed away, towards the door. he politely excused himself, and headed after you.
he followed you out the door he watched you disappear through, but his heart sank even lower when he realized you weren’t there. he was about to go back inside and ask your co stars for your room number, when he heard the tell tale signs of your sobs coming from a hidden alcove to his left.
he ran down the steps and over to the alcove, and his heart broke when he saw you. you were leaning against the wall, you head in your hands. loud sobs were escaping your mouth, and he knew for a fact you had an endless amount of tears running down your face, the saltiness of them probably already swelling your beautiful face up.
he wasted no time in coming over to you and wrapping you up tight in his arms. you tried to pull out of them, but he stood firm, and eventually you relaxed.
“i’m so sorry.” he whispered, and your sobs subsided. you shook your head and looked up at him.
“no. i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i was born in the wrong generation, because maybe then one of us would have the courage to ask the other out without fear of judgement. i’m sorry that i’m not as mature as those girls, or as talented. i’m sorry that i probably read into things like i always do and ruine-“ you began; but was cut off by Chris soft lips.
when he pulled away, he rested his forehead atop yours. “no. don’t. you’re perfect. so fuckin’ perfect it scares me sometimes. it absolutely terrifies the shit out of me how perfect you are because i don’t want to hurt you. you’re so young and innocent, and i love that about you. i don’t want to be the one to crush that innocence that i love so much by hurting you. but, i shouldn’t have let that hold me back. we’re both legal, so age is just a number. i should have told you that say i fuckin’ dry humped you on set.” he said, and you laughed at the last bit. “i love you so fuckin’ much, y/n, it honestly scares me. but being scared is good. it makes me human, and i’m not letting that hold me back from treating you the way you deserve to be treated. if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, i will spend the rest of our time together showing you just how much i love and appreciate you.” he said, and you looked up at him. “will you be my girlfriend?” he asked softly, and you nodded in happiness, your lips pressing to his.
Chris smiled into the slightly salty, but still loving kiss. he finally had you, and he wasn’t going to let you go. you were his whole world, and he was kicking himself for not realizing it sooner.
the two of you were currently walking hand in hand back to the venue, when you spoke up. “that was the sweetest speech. i’m not mad at you because of those girls. i realized shortly after that you wouldn’t do anything like that, but i thought maybe you’d realize that they were better than me, so that’s why i left.” you explained, and Chris tugged you in closer to his body.
“that makes me so happy, sweet girl. it was a mistake letting those girls do that and i should have stopped it sooner, but everybody makes mistakes.” he said.
you giggled before responding. “everybody has those days.” you said with the straightest face possible and Chris turned and stared at you for a second before realizing the reference.
“Hannah Montana? oh my god you’re so innocent,” he said, moaning the last few words into your ears, his hands gripping your waist to pull you against him.
you bit your lip and smiled. “i’m not completely innocent,” you said right back, and smiled in happiness when you felt him hardening against your stomach.
“mmm, really baby?” he moaned, and you nodded, before whispering in his ear.
“take me back to your hotel room and i’ll show you.”
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sluttyten · 3 years
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#25, #37 and #181 for Jungwoo or Jaehyun ❤️‍🔥
Jungwoo or Jaehyun + “shit, i forgot just how tight you are.” + meeting them at a house party and sneaking off to fuck them in the bathroom. + you being their best friend’s younger sibling.
When your brother Mark met his best friend, when he moved in with him, you thought for sure you’d cracked it and that your brother was gay and his best friend was his secret boyfriend. They were constantly together--going on trips, going out to dinner, going shopping together--so it wasn’t like it was a crazy leap in logic. But then one night, Mark was out of town, you needed a place to stay, so he told you to go stay at his place. 
Neither you or Jungwoo ever admitted to Mark the truth of that night. How you’d been sitting on the sofa with Jungwoo, venting to him, and when you’d mentioned in an offhand way how he was your brother’s boyfriend (like, obviously), Jungwoo paused and looked at you with the most adorably confused look on his face.
“I’m not his boyfriend. We’re honest to God just friends.” He holds his hand over his heart. “I’m into you, not Mark.”
In the space after those words, your entire worldview rearranged. You looked at Jungwoo, at the way he was looking at you, leaned towards you in comfortable casualness, and you realized that yeah, you could be into him too.
He fucked you right there on that sofa that night, and again in the shower the next morning, and before you left for the day, you made it clear to Jungwoo that sleeping with him meant nothing more than that you found him attractive too. You didn’t want your brother to know, and you didn’t plan to let it happen again. It had been perhaps a lapse in judgement to have sex with your brother’s best friend.
Weeks go by, and then months. You and Jungwoo are perfectly normal around each other, not letting that night interfere in any way. And then Mark throws a housewarming party when he and Jungwoo move out of their cramped apartment and start renting a house together with a few other friends. 
It’s the kind of housewarming that your other family members aren’t invited to. It feels more like a frat party than a housewarming.
There’s people everywhere. All over the lawn, filling every inch of the house you’d just helped your brother move his furniture into. You recognize a few of them as close friends of your brother that you’ve met before, but for the most part, you don’t know these people. You assume many of them are friends of the friends he’s moved in with, but you don’t even know any of those people other than Jungwoo.
So, you do your best to make new friends.
You meet a few lovely people before you finally meet Jaehyun. 
He seems nice, very friendly and handsome. You meet him over a tray of snacks you just know your brother sat out, and you start talking to him, small talk that quickly takes a turn when you both realize a mutual interest. That conversation carries you away from the snacks to standing outside, and once you’ve made it outside, you realize that someone’s set up a game of beer pong.
“Jae!” The guy at one end of the table calls as soon as he spots Jaehyun. “We need someone to play against!”
Jaehyun looks at you. “Want to be my partner?”
You hate the idea of leaving his side, knowing that if you do, some other girl that’s been eyeing him all night would quickly sweep in to try to fill your spot. 
So, it’s possibly one of the best decisions you’ve made yet that night to be his partner for beer pong because you win, and in the joy of victory, Jaehyun sweeps you into a hug and promises you that he owes you a prize. He quickly makes it clear that that prize is a fresh drink that’s not beer with a ball floating in it.
You could care less about getting another drink, but you go along with him as Jaehyun attempts to swim through the crowd of people that have gathered for this party now. You cling to his arm (his bare, well-chiseled biceps), and you never let your eyes leave the sight of his head (a backwards hat resting on his long black hair). 
When Jaehyun finds the way to the kitchen almost impossible to pass through due to it being a small room filled with alcohol and too many people trying to drink that alcohol, he sighs and stops, leaning against the wall and tugging you close to avoid you getting knocked into by the people passing behind you.
“Well, there goes my planned prize for you,” Jaehyun sighs, looking at you with this look that swells a hope inside you. “Guess I should treat you with something else.”
“I have an idea,” you venture, pressing forward a little more, letting your hand slide up his arm. “If you’re interested, you could be my prize, and I’ll be yours.”
“I’ll take that. Gladly.” Jaehyun’s gaze flicks between your eyes and your lips.
Before either of you can back down, decide that maybe you’re too buzzed to make a solid decision right now, you grab his hand and pull him away from the mass of people waiting to get inside the kitchen. You lead him upstairs, heading right for the bathroom you know is at the end of the hallway beside one of Mark’s housemate’s rooms.
You think you hear someone call your name downstairs, but over the music, it’s difficult to tell, and you refuse to let yourself be distracted away from Jaehyun.
You pull him inside the bathroom. Jaehyun closes the door behind him, and as soon as he’s turned to face you again, you all but launch yourself at him. 
Jaehyun’s teeth clack against yours. His warm fingers dig into your ass and thighs, and you clutch desperately at Jaehyun’s face, holding his mouth against yours in a bruising kiss as he stumbles deeper inside the bathroom with you. You feel the plasticky brush of the shower curtain, and then your back hits cool tile. 
Jaehyun has you against the shower wall, the scent of body wash filling your nose, and your moan echoes off the tile when Jaehyun slips his hand inside your panties. His fingers are expert, skilled at getting you off, toying with your clit and then he’s two fingers deep, rubbing your clit now as well as stimulating you from the inside. 
“Told you I’d give you a prize. You gonna cum for me, pretty girl? Gonna cum on my fingers?” Jaehyun kisses his words against your throat, and then he closes his lips around a sensitive spot and sucks.
Not that you want Jaehyun to know, but it’s been months since the last time you had sex, since the last time you orgasmed, so as the climax hits right now, your vision goes white, and your senses are overwhelmed on every side.
The volume in the room increases to a dull roar in your ears, and your fingers dig into Jaehyun’s shoulders, your body arching as he keeps going, pushing your orgasm to last longer and longer on his fingers. You moan his name softly between gasps, like an ecstatic prayer.
Your eyes flutter open, and you realize that the volume in the room isn’t just the buzz of pleasure and the pounding of your heartbeat anymore.
The dull roar of the party cuts out significantly when Jungwoo shuts the door behind him. Jaehyun’s head snaps up from where he’s been trying to leave his mark on your throat. Jungwoo clears his throat, “Don’t mind me, Jae, I just came up for a piss. But you should probably know that’s our housemate’s sister you’re fingering.”
Housemate? Jaehyun’s one of Mark’s new housemates? Shit, you drop your head back, in disbelief that you’ve done this again, fucking with your brother’s friend.
“Shit,” Jaehyun whispers quietly against your skin. “I thought you looked kinda familiar.”
“She has a thing for fucking her brother’s best friends.” Jungwoo turns his back on the pair of you, and you realize that he genuinely is using the toilet right now. Unbelievable. He couldn’t have just walked out to use one of the other two bathrooms in this house when he saw that this one was occupied?
“Jealous, Jungwoo?” You push lightly at Jaehyun’s shoulders until he steps back, freeing up enough space for you to straighten your clothes. “It’s not a good look on you.”
Jungwoo laughs. “Why would I be jealous? We had sex one night, and never spoke about it again.”
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t want it to happen again.” You walk up right behind him. “Do you think I haven’t caught you looking at me?”
Jungwoo turns to face you. “What about you looking at me? Have you not spent any lonely nights since then thinking of me? Remembering the way I touched you, how it felt when you fell apart for me?”
Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m still standing right here, you know. If you’re gonna have this weird moment, at least let me leave.” He starts to step around you, to squeeze by both you and Jungwoo, but you reach out to touch his arm.
“Don’t go. I want you to stay. You’re the one I brought in here. Not Jungwoo.” You squeeze Jaehyun’s wrist. 
“Maybe you two just need to fuck it out of each other again,” Jaehyun recommends. “Don’t let me get in the way of that.”
You don’t let go of his wrist even when he tugs, instead you hold tighter. Something he said gave you an idea. “Don’t go. I don’t want you to be in the way, Jaehyun. What if, and either of you can say no, but what if we all got what we wanted?”
You know for a fact it would be the end of you if Mark ever learned that you’d had sex with not just one of his bestfriends, and not even just that you had sex with two of his best friends, but the fact that you had sex with two of them at the same time in the bathroom of the house he’s renting with said best friends, yeah, you would be over if he knew.
So you definitely don’t let risk letting him find out.
This time you lock the door. You don’t want anyone walking in when you’re leaning your elbows on the low countertop of the sink in that bathroom, blowing Jungwoo with your panties around your ankles while Jaehyun fucks you. You don’t want anyone to walk in when Jaehyun pulls you back up against his chest, when Jungwoo steps closer and edges his fingers in alongside Jaehyun’s cock.
Something about the coordinated way that they move with each other, the way neither voices a complaint as Jungwoo stretches your pussy around him and Jaehyun’s cocks, something about that strikes you as odd. Not premeditated necessarily, just practiced, like maybe they’ve fucked a girl together before.
If you thought your orgasm on just Jaehyun’s fingers after so long without sex was amazing, then the orgasm you experience on both of their cocks is world-ending. You feel yourself breaking apart at the edges, the pleasure going and going as they neither one stop when they feel you cumming around them. 
Jungwoo kisses you even when your head falls back against Jaehyun’s shoulder, tasting the pathetic whimpers and pleas of more that spill from your lips. Jaehyun snaps his hips forwards harder, driving himself closer and closer to his own orgasm. The feel of his cock pulsing inside you, shooting his load inside you, is enough to have you cumming again.
Jaehyun pulls out, but he stays right there beside you, his chest against your back, his arms around you, holding you up as Jungwoo keeps fucking you. You’re sensitive now, so sensitive and it hurts but it feels so good, and you keep clenching around Jungwoo. 
“Shit, baby,” Jungwoo hisses and groans. “I forgot just how tight you are. I’ve missed you. Fuck, I’ve missed this.”
You feel like a white hot star on the verge of collapse by the time that Jungwoo cums, his fingers twitching over your clit just to draw a final orgasm from you. This is all much more than you’ve felt in a long time, or possibly more than you’ve ever felt. 
Jaehyun supports you against his chest as Jungwoo steps back. Your legs feel useless when your feet touch the floor, and you have Jaehyun to thank for you not completely collapsing. He holds you, slowly leaning back against the wall and sinking even more slowly to the floor with you. You feel like you could never move again and be perfectly happy. 
“I’ve got her, she’s fine,” you hear Jaehyun say. “Go back out to the party. I can help her clean up, can get her to bed. Should I put her in Mark’s room?”
“No,” you murmur, “Put me in Jungwoo’s bed. Mark wouldn’t think that’s weird for me to be there.”
Jaehyun goes a little stiff at the idea of leaving you in another guy’s bed, but you hear the silent agreement between the two. They won’t talk about this outside of here. They won’t let this fuck up a friendship--either the one between them, or the one with Mark. Jaehyun will help you into Jungwoo’s bed tonight, but that doesn’t mean he won’t hope to have you in his on some other night.
And after Jungwoo leaves the bathroom, after you’ve regained some desire to get up off this bathroom floor,  you makeout with Jaehyun in the shower while you both clean up. You sneak out of the bathroom and down the hall to Jungwoo’s room beside your brother’s, and when you climb in between the covers and bury your face in the pillow that smells just like Jungwoo, Jaehyun slides in beside you.
“I really like you,” he tells you. “I know we’ve only known each other for a couple hours now, but I really like you.” 
“I like you a lot too,” you admit. You place a hand lightly on his cheek, drawing Jaehyun into a kiss. 
Jungwoo finds you like that a bit later when he comes to bed; you and Jaehyun asleep in each other’s arms in his bed, and his heart breaks a little knowing that this is something he could have had if he would’ve just fought a little harder a few months ago to make his feelings known to you. He should’ve made a move before tonight, sometime after that night you’d spent with him months ago. But he was scared of what your brother might think.
That’s why he’d come upstairs tonight. He’d seen you walking upstairs, and by the time Jungwoo navigated his way through the crowd and extricated himself from clinging hands trying to drag him in for a drink, he’d followed you upstairs only to find you getting fingered by Jaehyun.
He’s still standing there beside his own bed, looking at you two, when you stir. 
“Jungwoo?” You ask, stretching out a hand to him. “Come to bed.”
The feel of your palm sliding against his, lightly pulling him to join you, that is almost more exhilarating that what happened earlier in the evening. Because you might be cuddling with Jaehyun, but you clearly want him there too, and Jungwoo doesn’t entirely understand what any of this means, but if he can have this moment with you and a million more like it, he doesn’t think he really minds what it means to share you with Jaehyun. 
requests are now closed! Thank you to everyone that sent your requests/prompts in, I really enjoyed writing these drabbles!
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husbandohunter · 3 years
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Dear Father [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]
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Synopsis: Wherever you are wherever you may be, even if you are beyond my reach, I only wish to see you again. -from a letter lost in the wind.
(A story where you and Diluc somehow managed to meet Crepus)
Genre: all fluff
"I know how late I am to father's day but here's my father's day take on Genshin Impact! Just let Diluc be happy for once T_T Mihoyo pls."
============================
Discovering Master Crepus' old belongings was like wandering in a domain surrounded by ancient artifacts. Each piece holding the memory of someone you've never met.
The paintings. Master Crepus loved to paint. Typically birds were the main muse of this portraits since they deeply embodied Mondstadt's values for freedom which shows you how much he cherished this city just like his son did. In almost every hallway you walked through there was a collection of his paintings, some belonged to another artist but the majority was an original work. Diluc didn't have the heart to sell them.
Elzer. He was one of the oldest workers who served under the Ragnvindr name, ever since Master Crepus had appointed him during his earlier days. You were told that he treated everyone, both staff and noble, with equal respect. Almost all the denizens of Mondstadt knew this man for he was not only noble in riches but also in the soul.
"I'm sure he would have loved to meet you in person. Now that I think about it, you and Master Crepus are quite similar. Haha, it seems that Master Diluc was selective in terms of who he wanted for his future bride."
Elzer adds with a light chuckle but the statement only made you more curious. A man who affected the lives of so many others, he must have been a wonderful person.
Diluc. The bloodline Master Crepus left behind after his death, a piece of himself and the heir to the whole wine industry, his son Diluc. Although you could see the resemblance in appearance, both of them were men of prinicples and values, putting Mondstadt first before anything else and you suddenly realized if that was the reason why Diluc was so protective of this city. As if, it were everything he had? You could tell he loved Master Crepus very much, not because he said so, rather the painful expression buried deep within his crimson glare whenever someone brought up the topic. Diluc was skilled in hiding himself, it's something he practiced over the years of working alone, though he lowered his guard as long as you were the only one present.
Even so, he had many conflicts still wringing him internally and you didn't want to push him until the day he felt ready to personally tell you himself.
But it would be nice if he opened up, just a little bit.
There were times when you would worry since Diluc had the tendency to hide his feelings for the sake of not troubling you. He wanted to keep life simple and bright, bringing the best to the table while making sure that you lived safely out of harm's way. You couldn't seem to get him to understand that as lovers, you would be happy to help him, in anything. Unconditionally. It was natural for you to feel the need to force yourself in every once in a while and there was nothing more you wanted to know than the story of the man who raised him.
You would even jest on the idea of what it fel like to meet Master Crepus in person. Were you able to reach his standards by any chance? Would he have liked you just as everyone claimed? Of course, they were only silly indulgent thoughts so you quickly dismissed them in the end. Bringing back the past was impossible no matter how badly you wanted it. You closed your heart on that possibility.
On a lovely evening, while you and Diluc were taking your time off Angel's Share to make a stroll around Mondstadt's quiet streets, a strange merchant called over to you. She displayed various antiques ranging from different sizes to designs, none of them seemed to haven been carved in the same place but distinct cultures throughout Teyvat. The only thing they had in common was that they were all equally beautiful to the eye.
However a particular item of what looks like to be a heart locket snatches your attention and you instantly became mesmerized, allured by it's mysterious charm.
"Ah, the locked heart caught your fancy, my lady? It's said once you open it, you will be set free."
"It's magnificent..." you muttered, staring unabashed at the shining surface.
Diluc who was observing from behind folded his arms and tilts his head, "How much is that?"
Although you intended to simply inspect the choices, your lover immediately offers to pay. They all already gave the impression of a hefty price and you didn't want him to spend his fortune on things that deemed unecessary. Still, this wasn't the first time it happened. Diluc would always insist whenever you protested against him from buying anything, it was just a way of expressing his affections towards you. Mora was never a problem and you were priceless. That's how he sees things. You had to remind yourself to be careful when stumbling upon a bustling area full of salesmen next time.
"Five hundred thousand mora."
He purchased it without hesitation.
On your way home, Diluc noticed that something was amiss. You couldn't tear your gaze from the locket as if it had hypnotized you by the golden smooth surface. He had to ensure you didn't run into anyone by accident, tugging your arm closer so that it gave him an opportunity to lead you where you yourself could not. Surely it must have been the appearance but instead of being drawn by, you were drawn in. Completely.
I wonder...what will happen if I open it?
"(Y/n)?" Diluc narrows his eyebrows together. Did you like it that much? No, he knew you weren't the type to be so etranced by jewelry, this was certainly different. Even the merchant seemed a little suspicious when she approached you and Diluc couldn't ignore the heavy sense of aminosity that was emitted around her aura. He couldn't think within her presence but now that his mind was much clearer, he was able to use his skillful judgements.
"Wait...! Don't open it yet-"
However, he was too late.
The wind picks up at an alarming speed and you both brought up your arms to block the debris that had flown in the way. They swirled in non-stop motion until your worlds were engulfed with not even the sky in sight. Amidst the turmoil Diluc latchest onto you and holds your body close his chest as he was determined to protect against any force that dared to hurt you. Something heavy knocks his head and he winces, tighting his hold even further. Your voice could hardly be heard with all the noise that rung around and eventually you discovered the the world wasn't disappearing. You both were.
The last thought you had was the image of Master Crepus and you didn't know why.
---
"Diluc? Diluc?"
He faintly heard his name through a series of echoes. Diluc fights to regaind concousness, feeling your grip upon his shoulder while trying to urge him awake.
"Diluc are you alright?"
Your worried face was the first thing he sees other than the fog that looms above. Diluc blinks a few times in an attempt to ease his migraine, using one arm to force his body into a seating position as he allowed himself to be supported by you at the same time.
"Does your head hurt?" You ask, palming gently against his forehead to feel the heat. Even if her was usually very warm, there was no unusual rise in tempurature, something must have hit him instead, "Here, maybe this will help."
Bringing out your hand you concentrated on generating the water through your fingertips. Having a hydro vision meant you were capable of healing magic which Diluc appreciated since he often came home late at night with injuries hidden behind his sleeves. But nothing came out and he became even more suspicious of the situation.
"Eh? What's going on?" You blurted out, patting down your clothes and your pockets, "My Vision, it's gone too!"
"Mine as well," Diluc flexes his fingers to test his own element, "It seems that our powers were sealed once we entered this domain."
"A domain that prevents you from using a Vision? That doesn't sound very comforting," you scratched your head, suddenly remembering the cause of your current problem, "The locket...it's all starting to make sense now. Ugh, I should have listened to you earlier, I'm sorry Diluc."
"No (Y/n), you don't have to apologize," he interjects and you returned a curious glance, "I should have stopped you the minute I discovered there was something strange. I was too careless."
"You felt that too? I thought I was the only one," your tone and face mimics one of surprise. The fog continues to dance around, enclosing the two of you to the small area. You lifted your head and looked above in deep contemplation, "When I saw the locket I couldn't tear my eyes off of it, like something was pulling me in. Like...there was a spell casted on it."
"What do you mean?" he asked in an inquisitive manner.
You nod, "I can't put my finger on it bit Ifel that the locket wanted me to..." balling your fist upon your lap, you stared intensely at the floor as if drilling holes into them while digging into the depths of your mind for any specific clues. Initially you thought the locket was so captivating that you were simply charmed by it's craftmanship. But tere was more than that, you began deciphering, there was also a need for fulfillment. A yearning desire, "to know. The locket was calling me to know."
'Once you open it, you will be set free.'
"To know..." you trailed off. How strange. No matter how much you tried to rationalize, you were always brought back to the same square as if the locket knew exactly what you wanted. What you were lacking. Because the one thing you wanted to know most about was the person you've never met, "Someone very important to you."
The fog dispersed.
Diluc instinctively puts an arm in front of you defensively as he scanned his quick and thorough eyes around the area. It didn't take long for him to know exactly where everything was. In fact, the abrupt change isn't what puts him on high alert, but it was how familiar everything looked to the point he evaluates if there was any reason to be skeptical or if he should be breathtaken.
"What a beautiful house," However you didn't recognize it. Diluc knew because he had yet to meet you during the time he lived in this estate, "I wonder who does it belong to?"
"Father's old mansion...how?" Diluc breatlessly mutters, as if seeing the supremecy of Celestia for the first time. When years passed after his father died, he chose to sell off the majority of his belongings, the mansion being on for example. Currently it was in the possession of a well-known business associate that used to be a friend of Crepus. The mansion would likely have looked much different due to the renovations it gone through but Diluc remembers the picture as if this were yesterday. Everything was in tact. The vine yard, the gazebo where they drank tea, the hill that he and Kaeya used to race on when they were kids-
Revelation burns in his pupils as his eyes expanded.
"Welcome home, my son."
Both you and Diluc fall wordless at the sight that appeared like a miracle's blessing. Crepus stands at a distance, the graceful smile complimenting his warm features. He looked exactly how the court artists portrayed him in the Ragnvindr's family picture. Sharp face with gentle eyes and an aura that was as pleasant as what Elzer described.
"So this is why the locket was calling to us," you whispered, "I guess the mora really was worth it after all."
"...Fa...ther...."
You snuck a glance at Diluc. From behind the resemblance was as clear as dawn, like you were staring at a carbon copy of Master Crepus himself. Almost. He was a less hardened version of Diluc during uncommon situations. It made you think just how much you didn't know before his father passed away. What kind of person was this man during his days as a knight? You never had the chance to know.
"Father is that really you?" Diluc couldn't help his voice from trembling, paralyzed in place when he could hardly make sense of what stands in front of him. The person he longed to hear from, the person who left the world too quick, Diluc was afraid to get his hopes up in case his father suddenly disappeared and everything was just an illusion conjured by his mind. He was already used to being betrayed and dealt with disappointment too often. Which is why he learned to trust only himself. But, right now, can he really trust himself?
Feeling your hand gently on his shoulders, Diluc was brought back to reality. You smiled with warm reassurance that bled into your voice, "It's okay Diluc. Go, I'm here for you."
There was the faintest light shining in his eyes as emotions swell in his chest. Ever since you came Diluc never had to feel alone anymore, truly, you were the light that was brought back into his eyes, to his life when he gave up the thought of seeing it again. If he couldn't trust himself then at the very least, he could trust you.
"Thank you," he embraces you wholly like you were everything, and you were, before letting go and taking off to the otherside.
The air hits him in a rush and knocks the ones out of his lungs, "Father!" Diluc yells with tearful eyes. For the first time in a long while he was finally letting his feelings run free, "Father!" A name that felt foreign upon words that is pushes him forward, wanting to claim the truth that was smiling from afar.
"Father!"
Crepus lifted his arms and openly catches Diluc when he crashed into him. Here. He was here. He certainly was.
"Haha its been a while hasn't it my son?" He begins, encasing Diluc in a hug like he did the day he turned eighteen. Crepus was a tall man and his genes seemed to have went through. Back when they were younger, Diluc managed to only reach the blade of his shoulders, just barely. Now they were practically the same height, "Look how much you've grown over the years. There were so many things I planned to say but I don't know where to start."
Seven years. That was how long Crepus spent alone with his thoughts. He saw what happened through that time span, the truth about the Knights and Kaeya's origins. To say that none of that bothered him would be a lie. Especially when his son was the most impacted throughout all the events.
"Father I...I-" Diluc tries to speak but the words dissolved the moment it reached his tongue. He wasn't the type to be very good at expressing emotions. None of it could simply be communicated by sentences. For him, actions spoke louder yet somehow, they still wouldn't be enough. Nothing can comprehend the weight of seven years.
Crepus seemed to have understood and fills in the gap instead, "I have also missed you and Kaeya. More than I can even say. It must have been so hard for you both to endure it all by yourselves. Life hits us when we least expect it but despite that, you still chose to persevere."
Diluc clenches his hold, face buried in his shoulders and mouth quivering as he barely answers, "Yeah."
"You're both my pride and joy no matter what happens, as a father I cannot be more proud," before knowing, everything that was said came out naturally from his spirit. Crepus may have his own set of things to share but he knew what Diluc needed the most, "So please don't stop relying on one another, don't always think that you have to do everything alone. Stength is a virtue. However, its okay to let go and allow new people to come into your life. I don't need to be avenged, as long as you and Kaeya are happy, its all I ask for."
As if the world had been lifted from his shoulders, Diluc allows himself to break just this once. On the outside, he was known to be an unstoppable force, the Mondstadt tycoon, the uncrowned king and a hero who serves at night. But here you saw only a boy who dearly missed his father as he hugs him tightly. Although you couldn't hear their conversation clearly, just watching them from where you stood was enough to make your eyes glisten from pure happiness.
"You finally chose to open your heart, right Diluc?" You quietly note to yourself, "You don't have to carry everything by yourself anymore, you're free."
'Once you open it, you will be set free.'
He was able to dwell in this one in a lifetime experience, all because you unlocked the heart and dispersed the fog inside.
They spent a good amount of minutes bringing the distance back together after being seperated for so many years. You made sure to make minimal movements in the consideration of their time. It was only temporary until Crepus noticed you standing in the distance and he gave you a quick glance. Your whole body tenses in response, suddenly feeling guilty as if you were a third wheel who didn't belong in the moment between two family members.
He's staring at me. Diluc's father is staring at me! Your thoughts panicked along with your thrumming heart. What should I do?!!
"I see you've brought someone along with you," He comments, the playfulness rising in his tone, "She seems to have been waiting for quite a while already. If you don't mind, may you do the honours of introducing her to me?"
Diluc turns to see you stiffened in place with your hands tightly clasped below your stomach and heat pooling from your ear to your cheeks as you dipped your head down. His father was a kind man and he couldn't understand there the discomfort came from, yet found it endearing nonetheless. Diluc walks over to you and extends his hand, silently urging you to come with him. You complied, albeit hesitantly at first.
"It'll be okay my love," he whispered softly, causing you to be taken aback by the nickname he called you by. Diluc often reserves them for special instances and this was one of them, "Whatever the staff told you about my father, they're the truth. Trust in their judgement. Trust in me."
"Diluc..." you say, voice fading. You knew him to be someone who always kept his word and someone who would never lie to you. Taking in a short breath, you nodded, "Alright, I will," and followed his lead.
There was once a time where you indulged in the idea of facing Master Crepus in person. But never did you prepare yourself for the amount of pressure it came with. Now that you were together with his son, there was a high chance that he would also become part of his family too, sooner or later. You weren't just meeting Master Crepus. You were also meeting your future father-in-law.
"Father, this is (Y/n)," Diluc starts the welcoming exchanges. You felt his hand squeeze yours gently. He turns to you so that you caught glimpse of his face, seeing the reverance in his gaze that was hinted among his handsome features, "She's the woman I fell in love with and I would do anything to make her happy. I cherish her more than anything else."
"D-Diluc!" you flushed, your embarassment as red as his own hair. But he wasn't bothered by it in the slightest.
"I only speak the truth."
Master Crepus lets out a content chuckle, drawing both of your attentions back to him, "He can be surprising poetic sometimes but I'm sure that he got it from me. Even my wife reacted the same way," he reminisced shortly before sighing, "In truth I already knew that you were together. Staying in the after life gave me the chances to watch things from an omniscient standpoint, I was sincerely worried how Diluc would handle things when I suddenly left, I hope you don't mind. If you do, I apologize for making you uncomfortable."
"N-Not at all!"
"Haha, you're very kind. Thank you. I'm glad that my son was able to find a woman like you to be his fated partner. As a parent, it brings me great reassurance," Crepus remarked, "I know he can be stubborn and a little too headstrong when it comes to making decisions. It really must be a handful for you to deal with at times but I promise you that he means well. So please continue to watch over him in my stead, take care of my son while I'm gone."
"You can count on me," you beamed, "I'll give it my all."
"You have my gratitude (Y/n)," Crepus replies and turned to Diluc, "And listen to her every once in a while. I may have been the previous owner of our wine industry but even I always make sure to get me sufficient amount of rest. Son you know its bad to get two to three hours of sleep every day."
You blinked, "Two to three hours?"
Diluc clears his throat, "I understand Father. You don't have to say it."
Oh I think he does.
With a satisfied grin, Crepus took both of your hands together in his and gave you his blessings. The man once considered to be an artifact through the vast mansion was going to be part of the memories in your life. All of your expressions held as much happiness as the future can become now that he gave you the closure you both needed.
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mae-gi-writes · 3 years
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Once Again (PT.I) | Iwaizumi Hajime (Haikyu!)
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ONCE AGAIN : PART ONE 
Summary:  Iwaizumi’s broken marriage results in his five-year-old son trying to match him up with his primary school teacher, whom he thinks will make a wonderful replacement for a mother. 
Genre: fluff, slight angst, f!reader x dad! Iwaizumi 
A/N: There will be 2 or 3 parts of this oneshot! Depending on how long I feel like writing. Thanks for checking it out and stopping by! Let’s dive into some Iwa moments :,)
NEXT PART --> 
---
“What’s your return policy on rings?” 
The saleswoman smiles sympathetically behind the counter. That stupid sympathetic smile he’s been getting for weeks on end now. And it never stops; with his co-workers, with his family, his friends...
Iwaizumi’s sick of it. He’s sick of having to prove that he’s doing just fine, thank you very much. When in truth, his heart is constantly being torn apart and stomped upon as is people have nothing better to do than torture him in their free time. 
“I’m sorry, but these rings have been brought more than three years ago, and our warrant only lasts for three years,” the saleswoman keeps on talking but it doesn’t matter, for Iwaizumi can already feel the anger slowly creep up through the back of his neck, can already feel the vibrating emotions clogging up his sense of judgement. 
His fists clench at his sides upon impulse, the physical pain of his nails driving into his palms enough to remind him to stay cordial. It’s not the woman’s fault, the better part of him chants, it’s not her fault at all. 
“Fine,” he manages to grovel out, barely, “thanks anyway.” 
He all but storms out of the shop while shoving the rectangular box back in his pant pocket, and though it’s been more than four months since his ugly divorce with the woman he’d hoped to share the rest of his life with, the weight of their promise hangs heavy and hot upon his thigh. 
The thing is, Iwaizumi is mad. He is seething. If one were to give him a bat, he’d probably destroy the entire town by himself. Not because she was the one that cheated, not because she was the one going behind his back numerous times a week to seek out her lover when he’d been basically driven mad between Hoisuke’s cries and the stress of call meetings scheduled back to back. 
No, he’s angry. Because how the fuck could she do this to Hoisuke? How can she break the child’s heart like that, so ruthlessly, without even thinking twice about the consequences? 
Because if there is a victim in all this, then it’s definitely Hoisuke. And not only that, Hoisuke understands that his mother has been acting strange, that she doesn’t return at regular times and that her hugs now smell of cigarette smoke with a bittertaste of alcohol. 
Iwaizumi is so caught up in anger that he almost blunders past his battered Hyundai, red and chipping away at the corners. Still, this car holds so many memories, the good and the bad ones. 
“Can’t you get a newer car? I thought your company could sponsor you,” the ghost of his wife’s voice echoes through his head, a blatant reminder of all the things she’d found wrong in his life.
“Why?” he’d tilted his head around to fix his gaze on her figure bending over the sink. The TV was playing in the background and he thanked the gods that the morning comics were taking up Hoisuke’s attention, enough to distract him from his parents’ quibbles. 
“It’s just--so old and tacky.” 
“It still works well, doesn’t it? Why change it now?” 
She’d paused, hesitated slightly before blundering on, “It’s embarrassing. My colleagues keep asking if we're poor or something."
"Who cares what your colleagues think?"
Fuck her, Iwaizumi mentally swears as he turns on the ignition. Fuck her and all her needs for a better life. As if the life they had wasn't more than enough. Pulling out into the street to join the incoming traffic, he blinks away the sudden tears accumulating at the corner of his eyes and swears once more, this time aloud, glad that Hoisuke isn't in his presence when he gets in such a foul mood.
Iwaixumi may be angry. He may be filled with pent-up rage from the memory still attached to the day he'd discovered a used condom in their bathroom trash. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less.
That doesn't mean he does not still cry into his pillow over it every night.
----
"Please don't forget to do your homework for tomorrow! We'll correct them before moving on to the next chapter," you call out to your students as excited chatter fills the air. Students rise from their seats, some calling you bye and waving as they all file out of the classroom and you can't help the small smile lingering over your lips even though your feet are killing you.
Outside, parents have already lined up to collect their kids, the chatter and bustle of people ebbing away down the corridor as you let out a soft sigh.
"Miss?"
You jolt, not realizing that one of your students stands by the table wringing his hands, "what's wrong Hoisuke? Dad's not here yet?"
He shakes his head, watery eyes blinking up at you as he raises his thumb to his lips. You stand quickly and motion him to come close until he's within reach before your hand smoothes over the back of his head, "it's okay. He's probably stuck in traffic. I'll wait with you."
It's not surprising that parents get tardy once in a while and you're all too accustomed to those slight change in plans. Thankfully, you manage to distract the young boy with some coloured crayons and a piece of paper while you dial for his father's number.
It keeps ringing. No one picks up.
You try once more, one more time after that. But still, nothing. It shifts to voicemail. You decide it's better than nothing, "hi Iwaizumi-san. This is Y/N, Hoisuke's teacher. I was just wondering what time you would be picking up Hoisuke? Please call me as soon as possible. Thank you."
You end the call only to spot Hoisuke's eyes on you, intent and impatient for you to explain, "it's okay," you tell him with a smile, "he'll be here soon. Don't worry. Do you want to keep colouring some more?"
Hoisuke nods, to which your smile widens. It's those special moments, where your shyest students express themselves, that your chest warms with sympathy and affection. You've been there, you know how it feels like not to be heard, and you appreciate every interaction they offer you.
Being a primary school teacher is tough, especially since it wasn't in your original plans. But the satisfaction of bringing up some of the world's future leaders cancelled out all the late nights correcting tests and scrambled weekends trying to finish off as many worksheets as you possibly could for the coming week. You can’t complain, not when you have a decent salary that keeps bread on the table and a roof over your head.
A tug on your sleeve brings you back to Hoisuke looking up at you, a scribbled drawing of what seems to be of him and his dad. You feel yourself chuckling at how he's drawn both their hair in brown spikes, erratically extravagant and yet so close to reality.
"That's really good, Hoisuke!" You beam down at him, "what do you and your dad do on weekends?"
He shrugs shyly, head averted to the side so that there's no need for eye contact. And in the shyest voice he can muster up, he says:
"Daddy brings me...to see Mama," Hoisuke's words are barely above a mumble, "they live in different houses. They can't live together anymore."
Uneasiness squeeses in your stomach, followed by sympathy for this soft-hearted boy. You had overheard some of your colleagues giggling about Hoisuke's dad being attractive and single -- a combo that teachers adore -- but that doesn't mean that the weight of his words don't lay heavy on your own conscience.
"Do you miss your Mama a lot?" You ask him softly. Unconsciously, your hand finds a way to smooth over his head.
The boy doesn't pull away. Instead, he nods, "sometimes. But it is better this way. Daddy smiles more now. And there's no one to shout and make noise."
"Are you happy, Hoisuke? With your dad?"
He nods and to your amazement grins, "daddy is funny. He tells me not to swear but when he burns the food he always swears. And then he says to shush and tells me to close my ears. He also makes me pancakes every Saturday morning before I go see Mama."
Right on cue, a figure bursts through the open classroom door and both your heads snap to see a drenched, older version of Hoisuke who looks like he just finished running a marathon.
"I'm--" he wheezes, causing you to stand in alarm and concern, "I'm sorry I'm--so late--"
"Daddy, you forgot me again!" Comes Hoisuke's statement as you ask Iwaizumi if he's okay. He shakes off your worry with a flick of his hand and a shake of his head, "I'm fine. Sorry-- there's a nasty rain outside--"
"It's okay," you reassure him as Hoisuke practically barrels into his father and almosy knocks him off his feet.
"Sorry Hoisuke," you watch Iwaizumi's hardened features soften ever so slightly as he ruffles his son's hair. Then, looking back up at you as you bring over Hoisuke's backpack, he says, "thank you. For looking after him."
"It's no problem, honestly. We had fun didn't we?" You grin down at your student and are delighted to find Hoisuke grinning back up at you, albeit shyly, "I put his homework in his diary. He'll need to complete it for tomorrow so that he doesn't fall behind in class."
His father nods, "alright. Thanks."
"Daddy, your hair looks atrocious," Hoisuke says, tugging onto his shirt.
"Atrocious huh?" Iwazumi's eyebrow rise, "someone was listening in their English class today."
"Atrocious means that it looks bad. Daddy, your hair looks bad."
"Thanks buddy, I knew that. Now say bye to Miss Y/N."
"Bye bye, miss Y/N," Hoisuke says, wriggling his short arm through the air as you wave back with a giggle. His father nods at you in silent thanks, makes a move to walk out of the class, only to swivel back to you just as you're collecting your bag.
"Uhm," he clears his throat, causing you to jump slightly, "yes?" You blink back at him and try hard not to stare at the way his white shirt clings to his toned chest, translucent from the rain.
"Do you need a ride?"
-----
You've known Iwaizumi since high school. Having graduated just two years later than he did, his reputation had preceded him throughout the school halls even though you'd never actually had any face to face interaction with the said man. Iwaizumi doesn't know this of course and you are adamant about keeping it a secret. But that plan seems to be unraveling before your very eyes the moment your small talk turns towards your academic history.
"You're from Aoba Johsai?" His surprised glance doesn't escape your notice, especially since that's the most reaction you've gotten out of him.
"Yeah," your eyes stay glued to the row of cars crawling through the motorway, "I remember you went there too, right?"
"How'd you know?"
"You were Aoba's ace volleyball player. Everyone knew who you were."
His silence answers you and for a moment, you fear that you might have offended him. Not that it's something to be offended about.
Before you try to scratch your brain for some kind of response -- any response -- Hoisuke pipes up from the back seat, "Daddy was famous back when he was in high school. He hit the ball like kapow! And jumped so high he can touch the sky."
"Oh? Have you seen him on camera?" You turn slightly, a small smile dangling off your lips at how adorably amazed and excited Hoisuke seems to be.
"Yeah! His spikes are so awesome! It goes pow! And it zooms! Like a cannon ball!"
You burst out laughing, "yes, your father was amazing whenever he was on the court. Every girl in our class had a crush on him."
"What's a crush?"
"Hmm, you know when you really like someone. You like like them, you want to be together with them. Like, girlfriend and boyfriend."
"Oh," Hoisuke draws out, "did you really like daddy too?"
"Yeah I did."
"What?" Iwaizumi almost chokes on his own spit at the same time traffic eases and you're glad for the distraction, for you're certain there's a scattering of colour upon your cheeks.
"Do you really like him now?" Hoisuke persists, undoubtly untouched by the embarrassment taking over his father's features and you swear that more than ever, you want to laugh at how flustered Iwaizumi looks.
You decide to play nice though and instead turn to wink at your student, "that's a secret for me to keep."
You don't have to look twice to know that the man beside you is bursting into hot flames.
-----
"Did you really like Mama before you started living separately?"
Iwaizumi swears that he's never felt so uncomfortable in his life. Not when he's had to state that he was divorced, not when he had to sign divorce papers half drunk off his ass. Not even when he'd raged after his said ex-wife after finding a tie that wasn't his own in his laundry pile.
Now is probably a good definition of what uncomfortable means.
"You're not gonna let me off the hook are you?" He steals a glance at Hoisuke from over his shoulder while stirring the vegetable curry, "yes, I really liked your mother."
"Did she?"
The word 'yes' almost slips past his mouth. Except, he isn't sure whether that's the truth and decides to shoot back with, "have you finished your homework, Hoisuke? You know it's due tomorrow. Miss Y/N said so."
"Do you really like miss Y/N?"
"What?" Iwaizumi frowns, "well--no. Not like that."
"Why?" His son whines, "I really really like Miss Y/N. She's nice to me and she never shouts. And she bakes good cookies!"
"How'd you know that?" Iwaizumi leans over to taste a bit of the sauce. Not bad, he thinks and mentally pats himself on the back. A few weeks ago, he would've probably burnt the entire house down.
"Because she bakes them every month. Every time we finish a test."
"That's nice of her."
"Yes," there's a pause as the man fishes out a bowl in which to serve the curry, "daddy, what do you do when you really like someone? Do you marry them like you and Mama did?"
"Uh--yeah. Sure."
"Then does that mean I need to marry Miss Y/N if I really like her?"
"Yup."
"Daddy!"
Iwaizumi bursts out laughing. Turning off the stovetop and bringing the bowl over to the dining table, he reaches out to ruffle his son's hair with a grin, "you're the one who has a crush on miss Y/N."
"She's too old for me Daddy," grumbles Hoisuke while scooping out two rice bowls as the pair sit down for dinner, "but she'll be good for you."
"Not that simple, buddy," Iwaizumi says as he dumps two spoonfuls of curry into his son's bowl, before doing the same with his own, "there's a difference between like and love."
A frown falls over his son's face, so like his own that Iwaizumi can't help but chuckle, "what is the difference?"
"Well, when you really like someone, you might want to get to know them better. Or play with them andd shit--stuff like that. When you love someone, it's..." he hesitates, "it's different."
"Why?"
There goes that innocent question that punctures his chesy a little too deeply. The brown-haired man steadies his gaze upon the calendar fixed on the wall opposite him as he answers with:
"When you love someone, you want to live with them. You want to start a family with them. Their happiness," his brown orbs switch back to his son's focused attention, "their happiness is all that matters."
Maybe it's the fact that he's not used to speaking so truthfully about such things. Maybe it's just Hoisuke who suddenly realizes the layers hidden beneath his father's poker-faced exterior. But for a moment, neither of them speak, as if bewitched by a silencing spell if broken by the scraping of cutlery against porcelain.
"Did you love mama?"
Hoisuke's voice is small, fragile. So fragile that Iwaizumi pauses just as his spoon reaches his mouth, glancing over at his boy. His beautiful boy.
"Yeah."
Another short pause. "Did she love me?"
"Of course she did," Iwaizumi's face softens. To be honest, Hoisuke hadn't showed any kind of restraint during the entire divorce procedure, had merely accepted things as they had unfolded before his very eyes. But sometimes, Iwaizumi fears his son might be keeping more from him than he lets on.
He ressembles his mother a lot in that sense.
"Then," wet coffee-coloured eyes blink up at him, lips trembling with a hoarse whisper, "why'd she leave?"
Before his father can say anything, the young boy bursts into tears.
Iwaizumi rushes over, clasping Hoisuke in his embrace as the child buries his face into his neck and cries and cries and cries. His little heart beats like wild horses and with every sob echoing through hid body, Iwaizumi feels his own heart break over and over again. One of his hands rub comforting circles of Hoisuke's back, while the other smoothes over the back of his head as he murmurs soft nothings in hopes that it will calm down the young child.
"I want--" Hoisuke's voice is thick with tears, "I want Mama--"
"Shh, hey it's okay," Iwaizumi murmurs out, "s'alright kiddo. I got you."
Hoisuke falls asleep eventually, the soft sniffles dying out into even breaths as he slumps against his father’s shoulder, probably tired out from his earlier emotions. Iwaizumi takes this as his chance to tuck the boy into bed, glad that he’d listened to the small subconscious in his head telling him that Hoisuke would be falling asleep sooner rather than latter. 
As he smoothes over his son’s hair, a part of him wonders how much Hoisuke is still silently hurting from his mother’s departure. He can’t imagine it; suddenly changing lives like you’ve merely changed your bed sheets and Iwaizumi had been so caught up in his own heartbreak, in his own bout of silent rage, that he’d forgotten that along the way, Hoisuke was also a victim to their endless fighting, the cold war that had broken his family apart. 
He wishes he can take the pain away, ease it somehow. But it’s not that simple. The truth is, no one can actually predict how a heart gets broken, nor when it does. The only evidence are the repurcussions. And it’s only now that Iwaizumi gets to see it truly take its form. 
Leaning over to press a soft kiss to Hoisuke’s forehead, Iwaizumi murmurs his silent goodnight before walking out and gently closing the bedroom door behind him. 
He leans onto the hard wooden surface and rubs his eyes. It is only upon pulling them away that he takes notice of the family photograph hanging on the opposite wall, frozen smiles wrapped up in lies.
He really needs to take that down.
-----
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Text
safe space ~ corpse husband
word count: 1296
request?: yes!
“Ok I just had this random imagine idea for corspe husband pop into my head. Its kinda long but I think it would be cute. The reader gets panic/anxiety attacks too but the reader had never been able to calm down or have a safe space when they have them. One time they were on the verge of having one and corspe just held them and they calmed down and they were surprised. It happens like that a few times and the reader realizes he's their safe space. One time they were about to have one and corspe was in his room editing (not streaming or recording) and the reader goes to him and plops on his lap and he's confused and the reader mumbles something like safe space and he's just shocked and happy. Idk I think its cause I just had one that I thoguht of this. I know its long. I just want some long cute corspe fluff. 🖤”
description: in which she finds out that her safe space is in his arms
pairing: corpse x female!reader
warnings: swearing, anxiety attacks
masterlist
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The first time we realized that Corpse was my safe space was during an Among Us stream. I was in Corpse’s room playing so that we didn’t accidentally cheat off of one another. The round had ended with me throwing and voting for Leslie instead of Felix, causing the imposters to win, which resulted in everyone immediately yelling when they could all unmute their mics again.
I knew they weren’t actually mad, but I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with all the yelling. My breathing was becoming quicker and more shallow, and everything I could possibly say caught in my throat. Tears were forming in my eyes and my hands were shaking so bad I could barley even try to type anything in the chat. No one noticed my silence over all the shouting, except for Corpse, who knew me all too well.
The door to his YouTube room opened and the next thing I knew, his arms were around me, holding me tightly.
“They’re not actually mad,” he whispered, soothingly, in my ear. “It’s okay baby, you’re okay.”
Although it was still a long process of coming down from my attack, I felt myself relax in his arms quicker than I normally did. I cuddled my head into his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat until I felt myself feeling better. Corpse ended his stream and both of us left the game to spend the rest of the night just cuddling in bed together.
After that, Corpse became my safe place. Whenever he was around for an anxiety attack, he’d take me in his arms and would hold me as long as I needed him to. When he was busy, I’d put on one of his hoodies that smelled like him, which did the trick well enough but not as much as actually feeling his arms around me.
One day, I was hunched over my laptop, trying to make sense of the assignment I had been given for one of my classes. The wording of the assignment made absolutely no sense, and what was expected was extremely confusing. I didn’t know anyone in my class well enough to reach out and ask for help, so I felt stuck. And, of course, the stupid thing was due in a week’s time and I didn’t even know where to start for it.
My mind began to fill with anxious thoughts. I was convinced that this one assignment was going to lead to my ultimate failure of the entire class, and I was sure that that’s what I deserved.
You should’ve started earlier, a voice in my mind was saying. If you fail you deserve it. You have no one to blame but yourself, you lazy piece of shit.
Corpse was in his YouTube room, luckily just editing a video and not actually recording or streaming. As I felt my anxiety attack coming on, I debated on walking in without warning. I needed him more than anything right now, but I didn’t want to interrupt him when he was technically working. However, my vision was already becoming blurred from a combination of tears and how bad I was shaking, so I knew this would be a bad one that I couldn’t ride out on my own.
Corpse looked up at me as I walked into the room without knocking. He looked confused, but pushed his chair out anyways to give me room to curl up on his lap.
“What are you doing?” he asked, a mixture of confused and amused.
“Safe space,” I mumbled against his chest. My shaking was already becoming less intense.
He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him. We sat like that for some time. I listened to Corpse’s steady heartbeat, a soothing sound that could’ve lulled me to sleep if I wasn’t still coming down from my near attack.
After a while, I felt Corpse move his chair back to his desk. He leaned forward ever so slightly as to not disrupt me on his lap and continued to edit his video. I watched as he did so, giggling at the parts that made me laugh, which was approval enough for Corpse to keep them in the video.
We were sat like that for nearly an hour. I had long calmed down, but I was so comfortable in Corpse’s arms that I didn’t want to move. When he finished editing, I turned to face him, straddling his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Are you okay?” he asked, resting his hands on my hips.
“I am now,” I confirmed. “I’m sorry for bothering you while you were editing.”
“You don’t have to apologize, baby. You have nothing to apologize for. You know you can always come to me when you need me.”
I ran my hands through his hair and gave him a light kiss on the nose, causing him to chuckle.
“You’re too good to me,” I said, my voice low in a whisper.
“Saying I’m too good to you implies that you don’t deserve someone who is going to be there for you at all times,” he said. “Which you do. You deserve that and so much more.”
“You’re gonna make me cry!” I said, blinking away the tears of happiness that were forming in my eyes. “Stop being so cute!”
“I can’t, it’s a disease. I can’t get rid of it.”
I giggled and kissed him again.
“Want to talk about what had you so worked up?” he asked.
I sighed and leaned back more to look at him. “It’s that stupid assignment for my class. I’ve left it for too long and now it’s due next week and I have no idea what to do for it. I’m afraid I’m gonna fail, the assignment and the class...and I feel like I deserve to fail for leaving it so late.”
“A week is plenty of time to work on it once you have it figured out,” Corpse said. “Can you email your professor to get it explained?”
“I can try, but she’s awful for responding. Last time I emailed her she didn’t respond until the day it was due, and by then I had already bullshit my way through the assignment and submitted it. I don’t even know I can do that for this one.”
“It’s worth a try. You can email her, then I’ll see if there’s any way I can help you figure it out while you wait. I warn you though, I am not the brightest person out there.”
“Well that’s a lie. You’re much smarter than I am.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. That’s the simp in you clouding your judgement of me.”
I chuckled at this as Corpse pulled me to him to kiss my neck. I let out a squeal as he rose from his chair, my legs still wrapped around his waist and his arms still holding me tightly.
He carried me back to his room and basically threw me down on his bed. He took my school stuff off the bed and proceeded to flop down on top of me, effectively pinned me down to the bed.
“Get up! I gotta email my prof!” I laughed, trying - and failing - to push him off of me.
“You can email later. I want to cuddle.”
I playfully rolled my eyes, but in truth I was grateful for this moment. No stress, no anxiety, just the love of my life in my arms and his head on my chest. I played with his curly brown hair as he ran his fingers gently over my sides.
This was my safe space, my happy place. And I truly couldn’t ask for a better one.
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kurimiaki · 3 years
Note
T, R, N and P with Diluc please?
the uncrowned king of mondstadt, diluc ragnvindr.
yandere alphabet via dear-yandere! revisions i made are flaky so. my bad wwwww
cw: dark content, physical abuse, kidnapping, confinement, claustrophobia, extremely unhealthy relationship.
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Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
Just because Diluc may be attending to business elsewhere, does not mean you are free from his heady grasp. Distant yet coddling; his attentiveness is a curse just as much as it can be a blessing. You’re never without security, that much is true. Dawn Winery is his eyes and ears, every single servant wrapped around his finger, wrapping around and constricting you. Self isolation could never be a possibility, not when Adelinde ushers you out of bed without a minute left to spare, always in such a hurry, as if wallowing in utter boredom for days on end is anything of importance. From the very beginning, Diluc had made it a point to ensure your physical health was a top priority to those surrounding you; strict itineraries have maids silently mourning over their packed workload. A plethora of duties— take you on brief walks outside the winery, never longer than 15 minutes, feed and serve meals delicately planned and catered to your health, eyes and ears constantly watching, watching, watching. They keep you like a dog on a leash, no matter how pampered. They do so dutifully. They must. Who could possibly decline such a hefty pay at the expense of silence?
It would be a blatant lie to say your physical health had declined any whilst under his... care, however, the same cannot be said for your mental well being. He can’t, despite how much he hates his inability to do so, prevent your tears. And by the archons, do you cry. Diluc is unable to approach you some days, those days when the illusion of normalcy and domestic living he works so hard to put up simply melts away, when you can do little more than curl in on yourself and wretch into your silk sheets with a litany of tears flush in your eyes. He wills himself to allow you the mercy of a few hours alone, albeit with check ups and that blatant discomfort of his when you wail at the slightest touch to your shoulder. Of course, it’s a different case entirely when such cries are symptom of punishment— whereas Diluc will weakly attempt to comfort you with softened eyes when you work yourself up, flaky and visibly uncomfortable, his resolution is unflinching and unwavering should you choose to act out of turn. Wail, sob, beg and beg for mercy, for forgiveness, his mask of nonchalance will stay firm.
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Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
No. Diluc is understanding that the situation he has thrust you into may not be ideal, he anticipates a lack of reciprocation and overall resistance, but he feels absolutely no guilt. In his eyes, this is for the best, the world is much too cruel— who better than him to make that judgement for you? Even if you do prove yourself to be capable of taking care of yourself, (with Diluc himself to measure up to) this Darknight Hero will find every minute, minuscule little thing to prove you otherwise. Just about every one of your shortcomings Diluc will try and use to his advantage, to put himself in a better light. Who else is as capable as he is, who else can prove themselves worthy of your companionship, your devotion, in the ways that he has? The longer you stay in his grasp, not that the possibility of leaving will come otherwise, the more difficult it becomes to prove him wrong. He feeds you with the utmost care, keeps you healthy, entertains you should you need conversation or otherwise, and provides, provides, provides. There may be a lack of freedom on your end, but really, do you have much room to complain? Without him, you may very well be dead. He ensures that point is driven straight to your heart, however many times is necessary until you grow compliant.
His will and rationality is fully reasonable, in his mind, hence why his wishes to keep you by his side shall forever remain solid. Perhaps it is the idea of you keeping close to him that entraptures Diluc so entirely, for he is a distant admirer. He would be contented growing old and without your touch, merely sharing your company for as long as life allows. All the same, he wishes to swallow you whole, skin, blood, guts and tears, if only to keep you with him. It is selfish, but he tells himself that is something of which he is deserving. He must.
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Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
Diluc is nothing if not dedicated to his goals, a driven man in everything he sets his mind to. In order to maintain the position he thrives in, he is forever alert, forever adapting, prepared for any strenuous situation thrown his way. Should you push past a line you are never meant to cross, jab at him a tad too harshly, well... it’s not as if he gives no thought as to how to keep you in line. Rarely are you knowing enough of his inner workings to be able to push him past the point of no return, a point where even you, his dearest, are not spared from his wrath. Emphasis on rare, for he is wholly tolerant and gentle with you, to an extent. Any person has a breaking point, and Diluc, despite his detached disposition and stoic attitude, can only withstand so much. He bottles up so much to remain composed, after all. When he snaps, he is unable to hold himself back any longer.
He is not one to take pleasure from the suffering of others. Lest they truly deserve it, is what he’ll tell himself, to at the very least maintain the illusion of normalcy. Sway not from the path of righteousness, forget not the splendor of dawn. His mind is able to concoct the most horrific scenarios he could possibly put you through, for he does the same with his enemies. In a way, when you act out of turn, an instinctual part of him, cultivated after years spent at the whims of the dangerous and unknown, sees you as just that— an enemy. He doesn’t often choose the more unsavory methods to keeping you in line, ie: beating or threatening you with his vision, further keeping true to said threats should you continue. Diluc is wholly capable of restraining the urge to simply slap the snark off of your face (he had done so regardless, once or twice), and much prefers isolating you on his own terms, away from everyone and everything, even himself. It’s a small room, not even on par with that of your shared bedroom, much more similar to a closet or crawlspace.
A room, but a cage all the same. Splintered wood floors, dank cobblestone surrounds you and few cracks in the stone leaves room for bugs of all nature to crawl through, allows the elements to rain hell upon you should you end up locked up during the harsher months. A lone maid, not even Adelinde, the head, attends to you, sparing meek glances should you call out when she gently places a meal of one roll, a piece of meat, and a few shoddily cut slabs of potato. No begging and weeping and screaming you may do will soften Diluc into coming back for you- again, his resolve is akin to that of steel, his will forever unyielding. He decides when you are thoroughly broken in, and when it is time to hold you in kind, he shines through like that of The Darknight Hero the people proclaim him to be. In the end, what is necessary is that he shows you how much better off you are when with him. He’s much too possessive and to a point, coddling, to ever consider discarding you into the wild and at the whims of hilichurl camps and abyss mages alike.
His hold is firm and grounding. Had he always been able to hold you with such ease? Had he ever truly held you in kind, as he does now? He’s warm. A familiar, comforting scent of smoke and acidic wine fills your senses and him, oh, him. He had left you, left you alone, all alone, in that room, not even a room, all alone, and yet you can do little more than gag and writhe and latch onto him with pleas of his name whispered hoarsely— ‘Diluc, Diluc, Diluc’. A cry of your savior.
He can’t look at you, won’t look at you. Won’t give you the mercy, but he couldn’t be angry. Not anymore. He holds you tighter and so flush to himself, with a ferocity narly shown to anyone but you, not in kind, not with this passion. You smell of dust, a husk of yourself. Faintly of his sheets, faintly of iron, of vomit, of filth.
Fresh memories of your betrayal burn hot in his mind. He’s contradicting himself. He cannot relent. It comes out as a whisper, barely even heard to himself, and he curses his very soul the moment it passes his lips.
“Strive to do better. Lest you want your time there to increase tenfold.”
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Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
He can bear with defiance and unwillingness on your part, to an extent. He can anticipate as much, for he is not delusional enough to fool himself into thinking your relationship is even somewhat typical to that of a normal couple, no matter how much he wishes that to be the case. No, for the initial few weeks of your captivity (he’s always gotten so mad when you refer to him as such, a captor) Diluc allows you to lash and sob and attempt to reason with him, attempt to soften him, attempt to hurt him. He’ll allow you to do so, but he himself remains impenetrable, unblinking, almost uncaring. He is prepared for about anything and everything, always expecting the worse possibilities as to save himself from further harm. For you, as well, he is constantly anticipating and observing. In hidden, minute little ways. It may even come as a shame to him if the fact that he enforces the maids to note down your every little move ever reaches your ears.
All in all, Diluc’s complete preparation for anything and everything you may throw his way makes him extremely patient, for better or for worse. Difficult to crack, impenetrable, almost— on one hand, the distance he keeps from you to accommodate for your lack of reciprocation may come as a blessing, but it makes it all too difficult to try and pester him into letting you go, to try and understand his goals and motivations in keeping you locked right away. Your complacency is inevitable, sooner or later, Diluc will begin approaching and weaseling his way into your routine in the smallest of ways, gradually and unconsciously causing you to grow fonder of his presence. It’s a slow process, one he had planned from the very moment his wishes of a domestic life with you grew much too much to handle. He loves you completely, yearns for your love, and for it, he will wait as long as necessary.
Blazing red eyes leer down upon you, your shame increasing tenfold for each second that passes subjected to that gaze of his. A fit of expaseration, you will admit, had sent the cutlery dear Hillie had so delicately prepared flying off of the white tablecloth and onto the hardwood floors, further staining the expensive rugs with wines and crumbs and oils from his favorite meal, a concoction of pasta and steak and cheese. He had prepared yours alongside with it, striking tonight as a tad more special than the rest. You didn’t blame yourself for what you did, not when he had proposed something as outlandish as marriage.
He keeps silent, leaning back in his seat, his throne, as if he were a king observing a mere peasant begging for mercy— quite frankly, you should be. But perhaps tonight he will be more lenient, you ponder, averting your gaze to the flickering embers sparking from the fireplace beside you.
He sighs, suddenly, worn and thoroughly put out by your antics, further embarrassing you by his facade of nonchalance. No, you could tell from the way his leather gloves creaked from gripping himself too hard, he was barely concealing his own anger.
“You hardly let me finish my scentence. Come, we’ll continue this conversation upstairs.”
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hercleverboy · 3 years
Text
yours
spencer reid x reader
summary ↠ based off of the prompt “I’m yours for as long as you want me.”
category ↠ angst/fluff
warnings/includes ↠ none
word count ↠ 2.9k
“If someone makes you feel, let them.” — Reyna Biddy
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Spencer could never very well doubt just how much she loved him. 
She told him every day, not always with words but he could hear them clearly in how she touched him. Feather-light fingertips tracing along his delicate skin, perfectly pursed lips pressing affectionate kisses to the scars littered on his arms and chest. 
He heard the words in how she cared for him, in a way that he’d never felt cared for before. Her hand would squeeze his three times when she could see him getting anxious in a social setting, three small squeezes that screamed the words ‘I love you’, ‘you’re safe here,’ ‘I’ve got you.’
But despite everything, nothing seemed to be a match for Spencer’s own insecurities. Insecurities he thought he’d buried deep down, hidden away for so long he could almost kid himself into thinking they’d simply disappeared. 
Combine those insecurities with the green-eyed monster that had attached itself to Spencer’s back, and you’re left with an ugly amalgamation of self-hatred and jealousy. As if he hadn’t felt insecure enough over the prior weeks, it didn’t help that he had to watch some guy flirt with his girlfriend once the night ended. 
The BAU had been dragged along to a charity event that the Bureau was holding. The whole idea was to keep up the FBI’s good reputation, and an appearance from their elite profiler team would certainly look good for them. So, with the news that they were each allowed a plus one, Spencer had asked his girlfriend to accompany him. 
Y/N had been ecstatic when he’d asked, grinning about how this was the perfect excuse for her to shop for a suitable dress in the adorable boutique that had opened in town. Despite how he’d been feeling, he found himself smiling without force. No matter how he felt, she always managed to make him feel better. They’d been together for just over a year and he was yet to grow tired of her optimistic outlook on life. She really was a ray of light that shone through the darkness of his life, a shadow that came so close to swallowing him whole before she held him tight and pulled him out.
As the days before the event dragged on, Spencer found the intrusive and self-conscious thoughts were only growing, his brain trying so desperately to convince him that Y/N was merely with him out of convenience. She was simply tolerating him until she could find someone better. The rational part of him argued that the was definitely not the case, but when has anyone ever been rational when it comes to love? 
These insecurities were unfortunately not new for Spencer. They’d been there since the beginning of the relationship, and he lived in fear that his relationship would fall victim to the BAU’s curse. With the exception of JJ and Will, all of the BAU’s relationships eventually crumbled under the pressure of the job that never stopped, never slowed down. There were always forgotten anniversaries and missed birthdays, late nights and early mornings and interruptions at times when Spencer wanted nothing more than a moment alone with the woman he loved. 
It was exhausting, really. But they made it work.
And Spencer cherished every moment they had together as though it was their last. As though she would wake up the next morning and decide she didn’t want him anymore, that the job was too much, that she couldn’t keep watching him leave without knowing if he’d ever come home. 
Y/N had noticed the slight shift in how Spencer acted around her. She was no expert profiler, but Spencer wasn’t exactly as subtle as he thought he was with his actions. When she asked about a case, he wouldn’t confide in her like he used to. He was never impolite, ever the gentleman, but simply shut her down with a kind smile before moving on to talk about a different topic. 
He still held her close to his chest at night, arms wrapped around her. Though she noticed how he’d tightened his once loose grip on her, caging her in his arms. It made her heart ache a little when she felt him hold onto her as though he was afraid to lose her, as though she was going to leave. Although she wanted to, Y/N didn’t comment on this change in behaviour. She allowed him to hold her as tightly as he pleased, hoping it brought him any sense of comfort or reassurance he might need. 
One night when she was deep in sleep, her head on his chest, Spencer stared up at the ceiling with his hands holding her as close to him as she could get. He listened to the sound of her gentle breaths that somewhat soothed him, until the invasive thoughts started up again. He blinked away the tears that burned his eyes as he thought about how she deserved so much better than what he could give her, how he was selfish. Against his better judgement, he refused to push her away. If the dreadful day came when she decided she didn’t want him anymore, he would let her go. But until then, he was desperate to cling to her for as long as he could. 
He didn’t register the tears slipping from his eyes until the girl on his chest shuffled. He was quick to wipe his tears, watching as her own eyes fluttered open, staring up at him in confusion.
“Baby? What’re you doing awake, what time is it?” She groaned quietly, her eyes landing on the clock across the room. 3:47am.
When Spencer didn’t answer, she blinked to adjust to the darkness of the room, shifting to sit up slightly so she could meet his eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” She murmured, her voice still thick with sleep.
He gave a small smile at that. She was evidently still so tired but was forcing herself to stay awake so she could check he was okay.
Her compassion was one of the many reasons he loved her so. 
He shook his head. “I’m okay, I promise.”
She titled her head the side, her eyes searching his for any hints of how he was really feeling. She came up empty. She wasn’t a profiler, after all.
She reached her hand up to cup his cheek, and he gave the most adorable little grin, turning his head to place a kiss on her palm.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” She whispered, the sincerity in her tone making the tears in his eyes well quicker.
He just nodded with a sniff, unsure how to respond. Of course, he knew he could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge him. But his insecurities felt like a bother, and he wouldn’t want to burden her with such petty concerns. 
Y/N was still unsure, though she accepted his answer, giving him a small smile before returning to her sleeping position, her head on his chest. She had to have faith that he would confide in her when he was ready. 
 This time, he had one arm wrapped around her, his other hand intertwined his fingers with hers, bringing him even more comfort. He pressed his lips to her forehead, whispering a small ‘I love you’ against her skin before finally allowing sleep to take him.
The event was on a Saturday evening, and Spencer had found himself throughout the week secretly wishing they’d be called away for a case; but no such call came. Funny, he thought, the one time it’d be great to get whisked away for work, serial killers seem to have taken the week off? He wasn’t really looking forward to it at all but knowing he’d have Y/N on his arm all night made him feel slightly more at ease. 
When the clock hit 6pm Spencer called out to her, his voice bouncing off the walls of the apartment. 
“You ready?”
Spencer had familiarised himself with Y/N’s outstanding beauty over the years, even before they were together and he’d found himself pining over her, watching how she moved and how she acted and falling in love just a little more each day. He recalled the words of poet Robert Burns, ‘But to see her was to love her, Love but her and love forever.’ He noted how extremely fitting they seemed. When she stepped out of the bedroom, shoving her belongings into her clutch, and flashing a grin at her boyfriend, he was reminded how she was just so effortlessly enamouring that even his eidetic memory wasn’t enough to perfectly capture her allure. 
What a privilege it was to love her. 
“You look-” His words caught in his throat, trying to find ones that could even begin to convey his thoughts. There simply weren’t words. He knew a thousand different ones, but none that were adequate enough to describe the woman before him. 
“You are so beautiful.”
Is what he settled for, and it still seemed to fall short but when her lips turned up in a bright grin, he knew she was grateful for the compliment.
“Thank you. Are you ready to go?” She asked and he swallowed nervously before he nodded, offering him her arm as they walked out of the apartment.
*
He watched from their seats as Y/N stood by the drinks table with JJ and Garcia, deep in conversation. She’d been dragged from his side to have what Garcia called a ‘girly catch-up’, and hence he was left at the teams designated table with Morgan. Morgan was talking about a topic Spencer hadn’t much interest in, and though he had initially attempted to listen, that had been thrown out the window as his gaze drifted to Y/N once again. 
“Kid? Hey, you listening?” Morgan asked, waving a hand in front of Spencer’s face to get his attention. 
Spencer’s gaze snapped away from Y/N, focusing back on his friend. “Sorry, what was that?” 
Morgan shook his head with a laugh, nodding his head in Y/N’s direction. “I’ll bet you’d much rather be at home with your lady, huh?” 
Spencer followed Morgan’s line of sight, finding Y/N across the room again. He watched in silent awe as she threw her head back in laughter at something Garcia said before taking a sip of her wine. 
“Yeah. It’s just- we’re away so much with work. I would’ve liked to have taken her out this evening or something. I don’t ever want her to forget how much she means to me.” Spencer blurted out in a moment of honesty, something that Morgan had always managed to get out of him. 
Morgan nodded in understanding. “You know you never have to worry about that with Y/N. You, my friend, are the definition of whipped.” He grinned, reaching out and placing a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. 
Spencer frowned at the comment. “Whipped?” 
“It just means you’d do anything for her. Anything she wanted, anything she asked for. Anything to make her happy.” Morgan explained. 
Spencer nodded in understanding, put his frown remained. “Is that a bad thing?”
Morgan smiled, shaking his head. “Not at all. It’s nice seeing you so happy. She’s good for you, you know.”
Spencer glanced back over to her and caught her eye. She was mid conversation, but still flashed a smile to him.
He gave a small grin back before responding to Morgan. “Yeah, she is. Too good.”
*
As the evening came to a close, Spencer watched as Y/N said goodbye to everyone. He didn’t miss how one of the guys from Sex Crimes placed his hands far too low on her waist as she hugged him goodbye. How this guy seemed reluctant to let Y/N go even after she’d pulled back from the friendly hug. It made Spencer’s heart ache, watching this guy’s eyes glisten as Y/N spoke, looking at her in a way that was reserved for only Spencer. 
That green-eyed monster reattached itself to Spencer, his brain flooding with the self-depreciative thoughts that had plagued his mind for weeks at that point. It was getting too much for him to handle. 
He’d never been more relieved than when the taxi dropped them off outside their apartment, their home. 
Y/N had noticed her boyfriend’s silence on the journey home. It was even more confusing because he still held her hand tightly in his own, intertwined and resting on the middle seat between them. Spencer faced looking out the window, not paying much attention to Y/N, and she’d think he was ignoring her if it wasn’t for his vice-like grip on her hand. 
She figured he’d speak when they were back in their home, an environment he was the most comfortable in. Though he remained silent. When they stepped over the threshold of the apartment, he raised their joined hands to his lips and placed a faint kiss on the back of hers, before dropping her hand and quietly heading for the bedroom. Y/N stood in the hallway, hand dangling by her side as she pondered over what could be wrong. 
She waited to approach the topic until they were getting ready to sleep. Y/N had just finished washing her face and brushing her teeth in the bathroom, flicking off the light and making her way back to the bed. Spencer, who had still not said a word, was staring at a page of his book. She could tell he wasn’t reading, as he hadn’t flipped a page in a few minutes. She climbed in next to him, sitting up against the headboard as she looked over at him. 
“Spence, what’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer, his eyes trained on the hundreds of words on the pages before him. 
She cleared her throat, her voice small. “You gotta talk to me. I need you to tell me what’s got you so worried. If it’s something I did then-“
“Why are you with me?”
Y/N blinked in shock. Those were the first words he’d spoken to her in hours, and she had no idea where they’d come from or how to respond to them. 
“What?”
“Why did you choose me? I mean, y-you could’ve had anyone you wanted, and you chose me?” His tone of voice was pained, and Y/N could tell that these words were the sum of self-doubt and malicious thoughts. 
Her eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t understand.”
“I just don’t get why you’d want me. I’m weird, I don’t always pick up on social cues and I don’t understand pop culture references and there are just so many other people you would probably be better suited to and- and you want me?” His eyes flicked up to meet hers and only then did she see the tears that brimmed in them. 
Y/N took a moment to mull over the words, realising that what she chose to respond with would be incredibly important to Spencer. She gave a small sigh and smiled slightly, reaching over to grasp his hands in hers. 
“You always go out of your way to bring me a blueberry muffin in the morning, even though my favourite bakery is the next town over. You give up your favourite cardigans because you know how much I love to wear them. You watched the whole of Stranger Things just because I spoke about it so much and you wanted to be able to talk about it with me. Despite how much you hate the logical inconsistencies.” She chuckled and he gave her a smile too, looking down at their joined hands. “When I go on and on about how the eleventh Doctor is my favourite you agree despite how I know for a fact that your favourite is the fifth. You always know when I’m upset without me even having to say a word. You dance with me on rainy days and read to me when I can’t sleep, and I am so in love with you.” She whimpered out the last bit with a smile, and his head shot up, eyes meeting hers. “You do not ever need to worry about whether you or not you ‘deserve’ me.” 
He nodded, but she could see he was still not entirely convinced.
So, she tried one more thing, something she was sure would get through to him. 
“Who was it that said, ‘We accept the love we think we deserve.’?” She asked, and he knew she knew the answer but still gave her the response she was looking for. 
“Stephen Chbosky.” 
She hummed in agreement, releasing one of his hands so she could cup his cheek, wiping away trembling tears with her thumb. “You deserve everything good in life, Spencer. You deserve to be loved.” 
He nodded again, having been convinced. 
For the first time in weeks, Spencer felt the weight of that green-eyed monster leave his shoulders. His constantly overworking brain seemed to grant him a single moment of clarity, enough for him to force away the thoughts that had hounded him for too long. He knew they may never really go away, but Y/N’s affections were certainly enough to quieten them down. 
“Okay.” He murmured, still smiling as his cheeks flushed.
She chuckled quietly, using her other hand to brush back the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes in a tender move. “You’re my everything, the love of my life. Please don’t forget that.”
Spencer nodded, leaning forward. His arms enveloped around her, pulling her close to his chest in a tight hug.
“I’m yours.” He whispered. “I’m yours for as long as you want me.”
She smiled and spoke the words as though they were the simplest thing in the world. 
“I’ll always want you.”
taglist: - @beyonces-breastmilk @pinkdiamond1016 @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @thelovelyrose @averyhotchner @cynbx @calm-and-doctor
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ace-nlis · 3 years
Text
How they met you & fell in love
a/n: This is the first time I decided to actually write something with the intention of posting it. I hope that whoever reads this enjoys it. I'm sorry if I've misspelled anything, English isn't my first language. I hope I did well for my first writing post >.<
WARNINGS: none apart from slight violence. Female reader. Cussing.
Otherwise; fluffy content.
(Y/n) - Your name
(L/n) - Last name
Like or repost if you enjoy <3
Akaashi:
When you first met him, you thought he was a pretty boy with a resting bitch face. He is an extremely straight forward 'say it how it is' type of person and you respected him for that because it isn’t always easy to just speak your mind upfront in this day and age. He didn’t really look all that friendly or approachable, but since you were friends with Bokuto you just had to suck it up and stick around. It was pretty awkward talking to him or even just being around him at first, until you realized that his exterior was an act and he’s a total softy when he isn’t trying to call Bo out on his bullshit. You found him to be an intriguing person, but also rather intimidating. He was peaceful, he didn’t talk all that much and kept to himself like a true introvert. You were the opposite, more of an ambivert type. You tried your best to befriend him, but little did you know that friendship would spiral into something else along the line.
After a while of being friends, Akaashi got red in the ears in your presence. He was easily flustered around you, and the both of you often tended to flirt and bicker as if it was second nature. The two of you in a room together never got boring. Everyone around you could tell the two of you were head over heels for each other. You thought the opposite though, you felt that the friendship was never going to progress into anything more and that your crush was meaningless because nothing would come of it. After being friends for several months, nearly reaching the 1 year milestone, you eventually started to distance yourself.
You always thought the way Akaashi acted around you was purely just because the two of you had a close bond as friends, nothing more, nothing less. Akaashi on the other hand was devastated when he noticed the drastic changes in the close bond you both shared. He noticed that whenever he walked into a room, you’d disappear. Whenever he tried to call you, you wouldn’t answer the phone and make up some excuse that you were busy. The poor guy felt like his sanity was hanging on a thread and all he wanted was to speak to you, figure out what he did wrong and at least go back to how things once were. One day, he cornered you in an empty classroom. His eyes seemed frantic and he made sure to trap you between his arms and leave no room for you to escape so he could get answers. “(Y/n), are you okay? Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”
It seemed like the questions that were wracking his brain kept tumbling out, and in an overwhelmed panic she stopped him. The next thing the both of them knew was that her lips were pressed to his. At first his eyes were wide and body was stiff with shock. He didn’t know how to respond, and he firmly believed that this was a dream. In her mind, she thought she had just made the biggest mistake of her life because he wasn’t responding to it, he was just standing there and embarrassment slowly started to flood her. Before she could pull away from him, his arms slackened and his hands slid down the wall beside her, eventually placing them on her hips and pulling her body flush against his while kissing her back feverishly. When the two pulled away, they were out of breath and their eyes had a dazed look in them as they locked eyes. He leaned his head against hers and sighed in relief, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he kept his eyes locked on hers. I think that’s when you both knew that there was no way in hell you’d let go of each other at any point in time because it really felt like you were meant to be together.
Oikawa:
You knew of Oikawa Tooru but you never actually wanted to be acquainted with him. To you he sounded like a total sleazebag, a player that loved breaking female students’ hearts left and right. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to bump into him on Valentines day after having to reject a poor freshman. When you bumped into Oikawa, he thought that you were another girl ready to confess to him due to the box of chocolates in your hands and a smirk instantly made its way onto his face as he reached over to take the box. Your immediate response was to slap his hand away. If looks could kill, he sure as hell would be more than 6 feet under because you were not up for anyone's bullshit. Oikawa gasped in shock and retracted his hand immediately with a pout. “Hey! I know you. You’re (L/n), hmm. Aren’t you a friend of Iwa? You know, you don’t have to be embarrassed about trying to confess to me. I always appreciate a new follower.”
A mix between a scoff and a laugh of disbelief made its way out of you as you immediately shoved the box of chocolates into your bag. “Wow, I knew you were vain but I guess I underestimated just how much. If you think I have any interest in an asshole like you then you must be smoking something. I have no interest in being one of your petty little toys that you hold on a string. I refuse to be one of your little puppets that follow you around to show my undying admiration for someone as shitty as you. No wonder he calls you Shittykawa. You truly are a self centered douche.”
Oikawa’s face was burning red with embarrassment as she pushed past him and continued going to her class. He was astonished, shocked beyond any words imaginary as he stood there and tried to process what had just happened. Eventually he was brought back to his senses when Iwaizumi smacked him over the head and told him to stop staring like a dumbass and get to practice. “Iwa, How do you know (L/n)?” He asked suddenly after they walked in silence for several minutes, which was very unlike Oikawa. “I’m in the majority of her classes and she lives a block away from me. Why?”
“She’s weird. I thought she was gonna confess and then she slapped my hand and called me a douche.” Oikawa said, his tone was completely flat for once and Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Yeah, well what do you expect? She has better things to do than fawn over you, Shittykawa.”
*Insert offended Oikawa noises here*
Needless to say, his first encounter with you was not exactly what he would’ve liked it to be. Slowly though he tried to fish more information out on you, he wanted to understand why you weren’t like the other girls who practically fell in love with him at first sight and why you were the way that you were in general. That meant that any time Iwaizumi would meet up with you at a park to study together or whenever you guys would spend any type of time together that Tooru would tag along. Teachers thought that you were having a blooming friendship with him though and much to your dismay you ended up getting partnered with him on a school project. You felt sick to the pit of your stomach because you truly didn’t want him to come to your home, but he kept insisting and you knew that there would be no point in trying to convince him otherwise so you gave in to his stubbornness.
You felt ashamed the moment he stepped through the front door, your parents were never home and you had to take care of your younger twin siblings. The house was a mess, and that was when he understood why you had such a cold persona around others. You wanted to distance yourself from people and push them away as much as possible in order for you to not have to go through the embarrassment of looking like a train wreck to everyone else in the circumstances that you were in as opposed to your usual well put together attitude. To your surprise though, he was patient. He jumped in on helping you clean, he even helped the twins with any homework questions they had in between working on your project together and showed no judgement. In fact, he gave you a look of understanding.
After that, you were able to tolerate him more and you allowed him to visit the twins more often while even bringing along his nephew for all of them to play together. He taught them how to play volleyball while also helping you in the kitchen when you needed it. He didn’t want to admit it, but he honestly fell in love with you because of how genuine you were. You guys flirted, but it was suffocating to him like all the other girls who flirted with him on a daily basis. He only had interest in you, and you bet your ass Iwa teased the shit out of him for it. Your project got an incredible score of 100% and the two of you celebrated together by playing some volleyball even though you were complete shit at it. He didn’t care though and had fun. You found yourselves hanging a lot more often, being around each other almost 24/7 and you even met his family at some point. They absolutely loved you, and so did he.
He tried to figure out how he’d confess to you, he wanted it to be special. He wanted it to be a moment the both of you would remember because he quite honestly couldn’t see him spending any of his time with any other girl apart from you. Of course he was extremely nervous and skeptical on how to approach it, it was a 50/50 chance of you liking him back. The thoughts left his mind when he heard your voice outside a local supermarket, asking someone to leave you alone and that immediately flipped a switch in his brain. He quickly tried to look for you and found you trying to tell some tipsy guy that you didn’t want anything to do with him to which he immediately went over with his hands tucked in his pocket.
“Hey (Y/n), everything okay?” he asked as he coldly stared at the man that had been harassing you. A quiet “Oh thank god” was whispered underneath your breath as you managed to force your way closer to Tooru. He immediately wrapped one arm around your waist and kept his eyes locked on the other older gentleman that had been bothering you. The guy smirked, “Oh nothing man, I was trying to have a chat with her and she got all bitchy. That’s all.” (Y/n) could feel his body language immediately became a lot more tense, but you quickly pulled at him and tried to evade the situation. “It’s not worth it, Tooru. Let’s just go, okay? We can get some milk bread and watch movies or something.”
“I don’t appreciate the way you talk about my (Y/n)-chan. In fact, I’d advise you to leave her alone before I make you regret even breathing the same air as her. Got that?” He spoke calmly as he gently nudged you out of the alleyway next to the store. “Hey, who the hell do you think you are? Huh? Can’t just take my woman like that, dude.” This is when you truly saw how angry Oikawa could get as all he did was throw a punch and the guy was down. You could only stare in shock at what had just unfolded in front of you. “If you ever talk about her like that again I swear I’ll make you regret you ever existed.” At that he tugged you along and when the two of you were a few blocks away you grabbed hold of his hand and inspected it. “You seriously didn’t have to go that far. I don’t care what a low life has to say about me, at least I don’t live in the streets and I’ve got a roof over my head.” He remained silent for a moment before latching his hand onto your wrist and pulling you into his chest. “I’d never let anyone do or say anything to hurt you. Remember that. I’m just sorry you had to witness me get like that. I’ll make it up to you though.”
“Oh? I think a date would be a pretty nice way to make it up to me since you insisted on calling me your (Y/n)-chan” you said, giving him a cheeky smile to which he could only reply with a teasing smirk. “Hm, seems only fair after I saved you as heroically as I did.”
“Whatever you say, douche”
*insert baffled Oikawa noises here*
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nugnthopkns · 3 years
Text
i know you get deja vu
word count: 1.4k
warnings: explicit fem!reader, cursing, it's mild angst up in this b
recommended listening: deja vu | olivia rodrigo
a/n: wrote this short little ditty while avoiding my adult responsibilities lmao. it is not great but i really like the premise, maybe one day i'll do something more with it
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Your eyes have to be failing you.
There’s no way he showed up, let alone with another girl – who looks shockingly similar to you. She’s a more polished, more refined version of yourself, and anger bubbles in your stomach the moment you see him walk through the door with her in tow.
When your parents informed you they’d invited Pierre-Luc to your graduation party you shrugged it off. Their reasoning was he’d been a large part of your college experience, and it was sound enough logic. You stumbled across him in a coffee shop during your freshman year and quickly fell into a romance that lasted until a few months ago. The breakup was rather brutal, though your family doesn’t know that, so you didn’t expect him to stop by your parents’ house to congratulate you on completing your degree.
Much to your distaste he does make an appearance, with who you presume to be his new girlfriend. You don’t want to stare at the pair, but you can’t help it – they look good together, possibly better than you and Pierre did. However, you notice that the young woman has on a dress that’s identical to one hanging at the back of your closest. Pierre had bought it for you when you accompanied him to France one offseason, and the thought of him replicating the trip with her crosses your mind.
Finding it too much to be in the same room as him, you excuse yourself from a conversation with some of your father’s business partners and grab your sister by the elbow on the way into the sunroom.
“What’s the matter with you?” She grumbles, upset you pulled her away from a conversation with a boy she has a tiny crush on.
“He’s here,” you whisper shout, doing your best to inconspicuously point to the culprit of your dampened spirits.
“Who?”
“Luc.”
Her expression softens, and it’s clear she feels sorry for you. “Shit. I didn’t think he was actually going to show up.”
You let out a rather strangled laugh. “Me either, but he’s here and I don’t know what to do.”
The two of you stay tucked inside for a few more moments, deriving a plan that gets your ex-boyfriend off the premises as fast as possible without him seeing you. She heads outside first, making sure to grab one of your cousins who’s obsessed with hockey on her way. Together they make a beeline for Pierre, who is beyond excited to catch up with your family. You slip through the door and into a conversation with some fellow graduates in the back corner of the yard. It isn’t interesting, just about future plans, but it keeps you occupied. You’re careful to keep you back turned and your voice low – anything to keep your existence inconspicuous.
Your sister keeps Pierre-Luc busy, chatting to him about how the playoffs went and what his goals for the offseason are. A small crowd gathers around him, mostly just extended family members who haven’t seen him in a while, and he indulges their questions with a kind smile. You can tell your luck is running out, that he’s finally going to spot you in the crowd and rush over to say whatever he came here for. The fates are cruel, and at that moment your mother calls everyone into a circle for a toast.
“I want to thank you all for coming,” she says, pulling you to stand beside her. You can tell Pierre is looking at you, but you avert your eyes and look anywhere but him. Your mother continues talking. “We’re incredibly proud of our daughter for completing her degree, and we can’t wait to see what she does next. If you’re here, we appreciate the role you played in her success. To Y/N!”
Your name is chanted like a chorus, and your eyes meet Pierre’s as he raises his glass. The intensity of his stare makes you blush, and you bury your head into your father’s shoulder, playing it off as being overcome with emotion. More toasts ensue, including one where you thank everyone for their continued support, and then the cake is cut. You try to slip inside, praying that Pierre-Luc and his date will leave, but the devil himself grabs your elbows as you open the back door.
“Congratulations,” he says softly, accent thicker then the last time you heard his voice. You can’t lie to yourself – he looks good. The sunshine has done wonders for his skin, and the tattoos peeking out from his shirt sleeve look new.
“Thank you.”
You offer nothing more to the conversation, which clearly upsets him, but he doesn’t do anything other than knit his brows together. It makes sense that you wouldn’t want to speak to him since the last time you did was the screaming match that ended your relationship. You go to make your exit, but the small girl hanging off Pierre’s side speaks.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” she smiles. “I’m Maisie. Luc talks about you a lot.”
“Pardon?” You’re caught off guard. Why would he talk about you to his new girlfriend?
The man in question shifts uncomfortably, like he’s going to get caught in a lie. “Yeah, it’s so nice that you guys are still friends.”
There it is. Saying that you split amicably is probably the only way he could convince her to attend this stupid party in the first place. “Ah,” you sigh, “Well not everyone is afforded the same luxury.”
Against your better judgement, you compliment her dress. Maisie thanks you graciously, explaining that Pierre bought it for her and once he’s cleared to leave Columbus they’ll be taking a trip to France, with a pit-stop in Portugal because she’s never been. Your insides churn, but you manage to keep a glaringly fake smile plastered on your face. The conversation shifts, and you find out that she also studies English Literature and expects to graduate next year. You laugh off all the coincidences, but it’s obvious to you and Pierre-Luc that Maisie is a substitute for the person who came before her.
“Why don’t you go get us some drinks babe?” Pierre asks, and the girl skips away after reaching on her tip-toes to press a kiss to his cheek.
You fiddle nervously with the hem of your dress, anxious to be alone with him. “It isn’t what it looks like,” he starts, but you cut him off.
“It’s exactly what it looks like Luc, and don’t you fucking dare say otherwise.”
He lets out a defeated sigh. “So what if it is? I think it’s glaringly obvious that I still love you.”
No shit you think, but you bite your tongue and say something more respectable. “I’d say so. She’s exactly like me, but hopefully she won’t mind being asked to put her whole life on hold.” There’s a bite to your tone that you can’t help, but it sets Pierre-Luc on edge.
“You can’t still be fucking on about that.”
You’re seeing red now, irate that he is still choosing to minimize your emotions. “I am! Because you asked me not to continue school, which is something I explicitly told you I wanted to do, just so I could be a more conventional NHL girlfriend. And then you broke up with me when I said I wouldn’t do it.” You inhale a deep breath before continuing. “I hope you have fun with Maisie in France. You should take her to that little café we went to, in Bordeaux, where we ate so much food we couldn’t walk back to the hotel. And I hope that every time she looks at you like you hang the moon, you remember that you’re recycling our entire relationship because you let it fall apart at the seams.”
Perhaps your emotions got the best of you, because the look on Pierre-Luc’s face is nothing short of shock. You’re taken aback too – your parents raised you better than to say hurtful things, but seeing him again brought up a myriad of things you hadn't yet dealt with. Without another word, you spin on your heel and head inside, slamming the door behind you. It shouldn’t upset you this much, after so many months, but for a reason you’re unwilling to admit to yourself it does.
You sit in the bay window of your childhood bedroom, wrapped in a blanket even though it’s the beginning of summer, and watch as Pierre-Luc presses a kiss to her forehead before thanking your parents for inviting him one last time. Just like him, every relationship you have for the rest of your life will be an attempt to replicate the love you had for Pierre – a never-ending circle of deja vu.
☼☼☼☼
taglist: @samsteel @kiedhara @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added shoot me an ask :)
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masterofmunson · 3 years
Text
driver’s license ~ part one
Harry Styles x Fem!Reader
Summary: Things between you and Harry were going great. That was the case until he blindsided you and broke your heart by leaving you for his co-star. Based off the song Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo.
Warnings: language and angst. covid doesn’t exist.
Word Count: 4.4k+
Author’s Note: Here she is! I’m sorry it’s so delayed. School has really been kicking my ass. Consider this my anti-valentine’s day fic. This will be a two or three part mini series, I haven’t decided yet. Please let me know what you think! Comments, reblogs, and asks are highly encouraged and appreciated! Enjoy!
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It felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest. It’d been several weeks since you saw Harry last. He returned to film Don’t Worry Darling and you were left feeling empty and buried yourself in your work. Whatever was happening between you and Harry was up in the air.
You’re friends. You’re the best of friends, at least you were for a while. He wrote a song for you. You kissed him. He kissed you back. You were happy, and then all of a sudden he became a stranger to you. You don’t recognize the person you’ve come to know.
“Harry? I thought you couldn’t take me driving today?” you asked one evening as he stands on your doorstep with slumped shoulders and a nervous gaze. You’d texted him earlier about driving around the area and his answer was short, but not out of the ordinary for him.
Now, staring at him, something was clearly wrong and he looked like he would rather be anywhere than in front of you on your porch. “Is everything alright?”
He lets out a nervous breath and bites the inside of his cheek. You open the door wide enough for him to step inside. He rings his fingers together. “Sorry, I should’ve called,” he said, his eyes roam around the foyer of your apartment.
Your brows knit together. He’s acting strange. He shows up unannounced all the time and it’s never bothered you before. You’re friends and slowly testing the waters to be something more.
“Harry, what’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”
The silence is deafening and it sends a chill down your spine. He looks down at the floor and the lump in your throat grows. You fight back tears. You know exactly what the silence means. He’s having second thoughts about pursuing a relationship with you. Your worst fear is coming true.
“You’re having second thoughts about our relationship, aren’t you?”
Harry swallows hard, nodding slowly. “Sort of. I don’t regret it, and I still very much have feelings for you, but I’ve had time to think. I just don’t think it would be fair to start our relationship right now. I don’t want to distract you from what’s important to you and I have the press tour coming up as well as my tour. I want you to be happy and you won’t see me for months at a time.”
You don’t really know what to say. You want to scream and shout at him. None of that mattered before the two of you kissed. He would see you whenever his schedule allowed and you traveled to see him whenever you could. He was your best friend and you made an effort to make your friendship the way it is.
You’re used to the distance. You’re used to the texts, phone calls, and FaceTiming him. It’s how you stay in touch when you’re thousands of miles apart. Why would it be any different now that you’re together?
You try not to cry. It’s such a piss poor excuse to end things between the two of you. After all you’ve been through together, he’s ending it because he’s scared.
“Are you kidding me, Harry? You’re ending whatever this is because you’re scared? I made the choice to kiss you that night. You made the choice to kiss me back. You’re my best friend. I don’t care about the distance. I want you,” you confessed. A tear falls on your cheek and you turn your head away from him to wipe it away.
Harry sighed, scratching the back of his head. “I’m sorry. You deserve better. You deserve stability and I can’t give you that, at least not right now.”
You let out a shaky breath to try and mask the sob creeping up your throat. More tears gather in your eyes and against your better judgement, you let Harry reach for your face. His thumb brushes against the shell of your cheek and you lean into his touch. He presses a lingering kiss to your forehead and you hold the hand pressed against your cheek.
A few tears fall and he gently wipes them with the pad of his finger. You sniff quietly and come to your senses and pull away from him. You wipe your nose and let out an awkward laugh. You rock back on your heels and nod towards the door.
“You should go.”
He nods slowly and walks towards the door. He opens the door and turns to look at you one more time before he leaves. You look away. He’s seen enough. You can’t let him see you break further. It doesn’t matter if he’s your best friend. He’s breaking your heart.
The door shuts behind him and you gasp for air as you let the tears fall. You grab at your shirt and fall to the floor. You bring your knees to your chest and cry and cry.
You never thought the person you loved and cared for the most in the world would be the one to hurt you. He gave you a bad excuse. Why did he change his mind? Was it something you said or did? Was it because you weren’t an A list celebrity? You were just a small time producer working in your family owned studio.
It was by chance that a friendship blossomed with the rock star Harry Styles. His own music producer called in sick one day and you filled in for him. You had been friends ever since and occasionally helped him with music every now and then when you weren’t busy with other clients. It was one of the reasons why you had yet to get your driver's license. You were too busy to take the time to learn and you lived in the city so you didn’t really see a need to get your license. You could Uber or bum rides from your brother to the office if you had to.
Did you read too much into things? Harry had written a song for and about you. He told you that much. It was sweet and romantic. You kissed him and it was reciprocated. You didn’t trick or trap him into doing something he didn’t want to do. He confessed his feelings and then you kissed some more.
How would things pan out between the two of you now that he’d broken things off? You couldn’t go back to how things were before. You can’t forget the way he kissed you. You can’t just forget and ignore the way he made you feel. Maybe he would, you thought bitterly.
Harry was notorious for sweeping things under the rug and acting like nothing happened. If he doesn’t address it, it didn’t happen. You won’t let him do that to you. It’s cruel and painful. It’s pure torture.
Now, several weeks have passed since Harry showed up at your doorstep and broke your heart. Since then, you’ve put distance between the two of you. You don’t go out of your way to reach out to him and if he sends you a message, you take hours to reply. Your older brother Malcolm has taken Harry’s place as your driving instructor and he doesn’t ask what happened and you appreciate it.
It’s still a sore subject and you go out of your way to avoid Harry when you know he’s scheduled to work in one of the studios. Everyone’s noticed the change in behavior but no one asks questions. You keep your head down and busy yourself with work. It keeps you from dwelling on what could’ve been. You don’t have the time for such things at work.
It’s a different story altogether when you’re at home alone. Everything reminds you of Harry and you feel utterly pathetic. You drown your sorrows into cheap wine and poorly written romcoms. It’s easier than doing something stupid like drunk texting him.
Now, in hindsight you definitely shouldn’t have been drinking on a lonely Tuesday night. You hadn’t planned on finishing the bottle, but you lost track of time and soon enough you were opening wine bottle number two and finishing it just as easily as you did the first. You know better than to come into work with a raging hangover, but you couldn’t call off. You had a scheduled client that had been on the books for weeks.
Stumbling into the building, you push your sunglasses up the bridge of your noise and trudge to your office. You turn the lights on and close the curtains. Collapsing into your chair, you groan loudly and pull your water bottle out of your work bag and take a long sip.
There’s a gentle knock on the door and you look at your brother through your sunglasses. He laughs softly and steps inside, shutting the door behind him before taking the seat in front of your desk. He leans back into the seat and playfully kicks his feet up on your office table.
There’s a comfortable silence that falls upon the room and Malcolm drinks his coffee slowly. “Can I ask what happened between you and Harry? Wasn’t he teaching you how to drive?”
The question makes your heart drop deep inside your chest. You figured that Malcolm knew that something had happened between you and Harry. You were never in the office when Harry stopped by. Malcolm knew that you were close with Harry, but he didn’t know the extent of your relationship.
You were still figuring out what to label what the two of you were when Harry broke things off. It was still hush hush and kept between the two of you. Nothing fundamentally changed your relationship with each other. All your friends and family as well as his knew that the two of you were incredibly close. No one would’ve known you were seeing each other.
You let out a deep sigh. You tell him everything. You tell him about the song he wrote for you. You tell him how you kissed. You tell him how you’d been seeing each other, going on dates, and acting as everything was normal for the last few months. You tell him how Harry came to your apartment unannounced one day and completely broke your heart just several weeks earlier.
It’s hard to get through and tell him everything with tears gathering behind the sunglasses on your face. Another wave of silence fills the room and Malcolm sits up in the chair and reaches across the table for your hands. He squeezes your hands firmly and you force a smile on your face.
“I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that,” he said. “When you’ve sobered up, let’s take you to the DMV. I don’t want this rite of passage to be tainted with bad memories. It’s about time you get your license. Your car definitely has a thick layer of dust on it.”
You laugh loudly and pull the sunglasses from your face. You wipe away the last of your tears and nod slowly. Malcolm smiles gently and it makes you feel better almost immediately. You could always count on him to make you feel better about a shitty situation you’re going through.
Several more days pass and you are finally a licensed driver. You feel like you’re on a runners high. Now you understand why Harry and the rest of your friends enjoy driving so much. You feel free driving along the coast as the sun sets every evening. It’s made you much happier in recent days.
At least it did.
It was only a matter of time before something ruined your mood. It had been touch and go in the last few days. You could breathe a little easier knowing that Malcolm knew why you were acting and behaving out of the ordinary. He understood. He’s had his fair share of heartbreaks. You don’t have to bottle it in, not when Malcolm knows and doesn’t judge you for it.
When you come to work several mornings after your trip to the DMV, you’re met with odd looks as you walk towards your office. All eyes are on you and it makes your heart drop.
What happened? Was it your dad? Was it Malcolm?
You hurry into your office and throw your things down and barely register that Malcolm is already in your office. You practically jump out of your skin as he shuts the door behind him.
“Jesus Christ, Malcolm!” you screamed, spinning around and clutching your chest. Your heart races and leaps into your throat. “Don’t scare me like that!”
Malcolm stares at you and frowns apologetically. His face is somber and his posture is rigged. He motions for you to sit down.
“You should sit down.”
You stare at him carefully. You cross your arms over your chest. “What’s going on?”
“Please sit, and then I’ll tell you.”
You huff and roll your eyes at your older brother. You collapse into your chair and motion for him to continue. He lets out a careful breath. “There’s no easy way to say this, and you were going to find out eventually, but somehow TMZ got a hold of private photos of you and Harry together.”
Confusion washes over you. You don’t understand. That doesn’t seem too bad. There’s plenty of photos of the two of you on the internet. It’s an occupational hazard and it’s expected if you’re friends with someone like Harry.
“That doesn’t seem so bad. There’s plenty of photos of us together on the internet. Being photographed together isn’t a crime. We’re close,” you reasoned.
Malcolm noticeably winces and your heart drops inside your chest. “Normally, I would agree, but these are…. different. They’re photos of the two of you kissing at Griffith Observatory.”
Oh no. Oh no. Oh shit.
You and Harry had gone on a date to the observatory just a few days after you kissed and confessed your feelings for one another. It was nearing sunset and it was nearly empty of tourists and locals alike.
You were careful not to draw attention towards yourselves. You were having fun and being silly together. You’d been taking photos together and of each other. An elderly couple even offered to take a few photos of the two of you together.
They were incredibly sweet and thankfully had no idea who Harry was. One of the photos they took was your lockscreen for the longest time. You were happy and full of bliss.
“W-What?” you stuttered in disbelief. “How? That was months ago! We were careful and no one recognized him.”
Malcolm shrugs and it doesn’t make you feel any better. Of course he doesn’t know. “There’s more.”
You groan. Could it get any worse? His fans will destroy you if they haven’t already. You lean back in your chair and Malcolm just stares at you.
“There’s photos of Harry and Olivia Wilde together. He allegedly took her as his plus one to Jeff’s wedding. They’re holding hands and look…. close. There’s rumors that they’ve been dating for the last several weeks.”
A wave of nausea washes over you. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. You feel like you’re about to pass out. You feel absolutely disgusted. You don’t know what to say.
You’re hurt and you feel betrayed. Harry had abandoned you when the better option rolled past. His second thoughts about your relationship had nothing to do with the distance or his crazy schedule. It had everything to do with his beautiful, successful co-star and director Olivia Wilde.
It makes you feel sick to your stomach. You’re in no shape to work. You’re a disaster and it feels as if your heart is being stabbed a thousand times.
What happened? What happened to the man you love and who claimed to love you? Someone you love isn't supposed to hurt you the way Harry has. He makes you feel like trash thrown on the side of the road.
You scramble to your feet and hyperventilate as you grab your things from on top of your desk. You race out the door and ignore the stares as you leave the office. You ignore Malcolm shouting after you and climb into your car and take off.
Your grip on the steering wheel is tight and hurts your palms. You ignore how fast you’re going and you drive, and drive, and drive.
Nearly an hour has gone by and you pull off the highway and make the exit towards Newport Beach. You park in an empty lot near the public beach and stare out into the ocean.
You scream in the car. Your hands shake the steering wheel and you cry, and cry, and cry. You feel pathetic and used. How could you ever believe that Harry would ever want to be with someone like you? You’re practically a nobody. It doesn’t matter that your family is in the music industry. You’re not a pop star or an extremely talented director.
Your hands shake and you reach for the tiny, beat up journal tucked away in the bottom of your work bag. You open the door to your car and pop open the trunk. You grab the blanket from the back before locking up and trek up towards the shore.
You sit down in the warm sand and close your eyes. Your shoulders relax as you listen to the crashing waves nearby.
Another wave of tears find their way at the corners of your eyes. This time you don’t try to hold them back.
Your shoulders shake as you cry and you feel utterly defeated. You’ve given Harry way too much power over you. He doesn’t deserve you and you don’t deserve to be treated like someone that can be taken and put back on to a shelf.
You open your journal to a clean page and begin to write. Memories with Harry come to mind and you write, write, write.
“I can’t believe you’re working on Olivia Wilde’s new movie,” you told Harry in awe on the day he broke the news to you. “I mean, I can. It’s just amazing! Just promise me you won’t leave me for your sexy co-star,” you teased.
Harry laughs and kisses the top of your forehead. He gives you a warm and soft kiss to your mouth. “I wouldn’t dream of it, darling,” he whispered. “I’m crazy for you.”
You grin at him and he pulls you closer in the soft sheets of his bed. His touch engulfs you and you sink deeper and deeper into him.
Tears dampen the journal as you write and cry, write and cry. You look away briefly, rubbing at your cheek, ridding it of your tears.
What happened? What went wrong? You loved him with your entire being. Why wasn’t that enough? Why weren’t you enough?
A broken sigh leaves your lips and you turn back to your journal. You write some more. This time, a memory from before the two of you kissed comes to mind.
The two of you sat on top of the hood of his car. The beach is nearly empty as it nears sunset. You eat ice cream and watch the waves crash against the shore. Harry nudges you playfully as takes a spoonful of his strawberry and banana blizzard.
“I think it’s about time you learn how to drive,” he said with a mouthful of food.
You laughed and rolled your eyes. Of course he’d say that. He’s probably sick of being your personal chauffeur and taking you everywhere. You guess it’s time to learn.
“Yeah? Is this your way of telling me that you’re sick of driving me everywhere?” you teased.
He rolled his eyes too and smiled. It made your stomach jump. “Nooooo. I just want you to drive up to my house once in a while. Is that so bad?”
“I guess not. Who do you suggest I should ask to be my teacher?”
You were teasing him. You just wanted to get a rise out of him and it worked. He gasps and shoves you gently. You laughed and he frowned at you.
“If I haven’t made it obvious, I’m teaching you. God knows what’ll happen if you get behind the wheel with anyone else.”
You rolled your eyes at his teasing and bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. That fucker. He knows exactly what to say to get you to take the bait. You scoffed and finished the rest of your ice cream and Harry does the same.
“I’ll teach you in the parking lot for now.”
By the time you’re done writing, you’ve filled nearly five pages in your journal. Words are scribbled out, phrases reworked and rephrased, lines scratched through a number of stanzas.
It’s painful. It’s sorrow. It’s complete and utter heartbreak. It’s vulnerable and raw. It’s what’s become of your relationship with Harry. It’s beautiful.
You stopped crying a while ago. The remains of your tears stain your cheeks and it doesn’t bother you. You gather your things together and return to your car.
This time as you sit in your car and grab the steering wheel, you don’t scream pathetically or shake the wheel. Instead, you look out at shore, the ache in your heart reduced to a dull throb in your chest.
When you return to the office several days later, you ignore the sea of eyes that follow behind you as you trudge to Malcolm’s office. You’re on a mission and you will see it through.
The door to his office is closed and you quickly push it open. “Hey, Malcolm, I wrote something and I want you to—”
You don’t know what you expected when you opened his office door without knocking. He’s told you countless times to knock before entering, but you’ve never listened. You should probably knock now.
Jeff sits in the chair closest to the door. He turns his head to look at you. He gives a courteous smile. Your heart drops inside your stomach and you slowly close the door.
“What’s going on?”
“I think it’s best if you sit down,” Malcolm said, motioning to the empty seat next to Jeff.
“I think I’m good standing right here,” you replied defiantly, resting your back against the door. You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the two men in front of you. They share a glance before Malcolm looks back at you.
“Jeff and I were just discussing our options on how to handle the PR situation going on with you and Harry.”
You let out a bitter laugh. Since when has any PR stunts ever been handled by Harry or his team? They’re notorious for ignoring it altogether. It’s a part of his brand. His fans even know that he sweeps things under the rug. Why would they want to handle it? Any PR is good PR, according to Jeff at least.
“Since when did you start caring about bad PR, Jeff? It is because I’m a nobody in an industry that only cares about the elite? Or is it because Harry being seen with someone who isn’t a celebrity is bad for his brand?” you asked sarcastically with an eye roll.
You feel a wave of tears threaten to fall at the corners of your eyes. Your chin quivers and you bite the inside of your cheek. Don’t cry, don’t cry, do not cry. You’re done crying over Harry.
“Y/n, that’s not true. He’s in the middle of filming and we’ve carefully made it seem like he’s with Olivia Wilde. It’s to help promote the movie,” Jeff defended.
You click your tongue to the roof of your mouth. “Right, because everything’s about Harry and what’s best for him. Do whatever the fuck you want, just leave me out of it and don’t talk to me again.”
You leave his office and ignore the stares as you leave the building. You can’t be here, not when Jeff is just feet away from you. You’re sad, angry, and hurt. You just want to punch something.
You return to your car and scream in frustration the moment the door shuts. Harry didn’t even come to fix the situation himself. Instead he sent his manager to do all the dirty work for him. He still hasn’t said sorry for the hurt and pain he put you through. You doubt he’d even apologize for the hell you’ll get from his fans.
You drive home and change out of your work attire into comfy pajamas. You settle in front of your piano and mess around with the soundboard nearby that’s connected to your computer before pressing the record button.
It goes on like this for hours. You splice the instruments together, fixing and editing the tempo, sound, and bass here and there. It’s a tedious process, but one you love. You carefully place the headphones over your ears and swallow hard before you begin singing the lyrics on the main track. After you add a variety of harmonies and melodies to give the song more depth.
Then it’s over. The song’s finished and recorded. It’s perfect. It’s everything you imagined it would be when you wrote the lyrics on the beach. It’s vulnerable, but it’s beautiful and it’s you. You didn’t need Malcom’s help to produce the song. You did it all on your own, like always.
You lean back into your chair and stare at the computer file. You couldn’t publish it. It won’t see the light of day. You’re not meant to be singing the songs you write. You’re meant to share and produce them for artists that are infinitely more talented than you. Maybe you could sell the rights to someone like Billie Eilish or Ariana Grande. They could do the song justice.
No. It’s too vulnerable, too you. It’s only meant to be sung by you. It’s yours, no one else’s. You don’t need a second opinion. If things were still good between you and Harry, he would encourage you to release the song.
Maybe that’s why you set up your camera and took photos to create your own album art for the song. Maybe that’s why you watched the file slowly render in Apple Music, ITunes, and Spotify. You hover over the publish tab.
You hesitate. There’s no going back. Once it’s uploaded, there’s no way to delete it. The song is out there forever. People will link it to Harry in a matter of minutes, that much is obvious, but you don’t care. You’re doing this for you and no one else. If Harry could write songs about his exes, so could you.
You click publish, and exhale deeply as the song appears in the system.
There’s no going back.
393 notes · View notes
uwurakax · 3 years
Text
boy, i need you ♡
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pairing: akaashi x reader ♡
genre: angst // cheating // minimal swearing // suggestive (not explicit) ♡
summary: he knew it was wrong, every fibre of his being told him it needed to end with you. so why couldn’t he bring himself to do it? ♡
♡ sequel to ‘boy, i hate you’ - read the first part here ♡
word count: 2k ♡
author’s note: warning, not proofread or anything! wasn’t planning on part 2, but then it was brought up and i thought “hey i can work w a 2nd pt”. reader has no gender mentioned - but again ig default fem if theres vibes here? idk. also have a note at the end so there’s no spoilers here haha. excuse the crappy writing as always - my 2am brain refuses to work at any other time ty for coming to my tedtalk that no one cares about ✌️ ♡
♡ (inspired by f.u by little mix) ♡
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unfaithful
/ʌnˈfeɪθfʊl,ʌnˈfeɪθf(ə)l/
adjective
1. engaging in intimate relations with a person other than one’s regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Akaashi couldn’t say exactly why his infidelity started. Honestly there was nothing inherently wrong with your relationship. You were amazing, loyal, kind and everything he could ever want in a partner. He supposed at one point he was like that to you. Not anymore though. He could never be like that ever again. Not when he found comfort in the arms of another. Another that wasn’t you.
Akaashi knew it was wrong. Wholeheartedly he wanted to free you of the unforgivable. Did he take advantage of your sweet behaviour? Deep down inside, he knew he was. The cheap thrill of loving somebody else while you waited patiently for him back at home. Back at the home the both of you had made together. The home that he had inadvertently tainted with the presence of another. 
This is the last time.
How many times would he tell himself that? That the momentary pleasure he got from her was just that. That he’d stop before it went too far. 
Over a year later was already beyond what was classified as ‘too far’.
He couldn’t kid himself into thinking it was just a brief lapse in judgement anymore. Not when he didn’t stop. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to you in the slightest. How could he do that? To the one he promised to love. The one to always be there for you, care for you. To do everything a good boyfriend should do. 
To never, ever be the reason for your tears.
He knew he didn’t have the right to feel this way. It was selfish. Completely and utterly selfish. But when he’d come home and find you there waiting for him, while he was whispering sweet nothings, words that should’ve only been reserved for you, to somebody else just minutes prior, he couldn’t help but feel his heart ache. Akaashi, ever so observant, noticed that you stopped faking your smile. He remembers the first time he saw it. 
5 months after his unfaithfulness began, something he swore that’d happen just once, he saw the look on your face. The warm smile you had greeted him with just earlier that morning before he left, was now gone. This smile wasn’t as bright, and the shine didn’t reach your eyes. He didn’t like this smile. It was beautiful of course, because it was from you, but he didn’t like how fake it was. You had given him some half-assed excuse.
“I’m just a little tired Keiji”
He knew you too well. Knew you were lying to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to press on further. Day after day, your smile continued to drop. Further and further, until it was some terrible imitation of the one he had fallen in love with years ago. No matter how much you tried to hide it, he would always notice the slight redness in the whites of your eyes. Dark and puffy under-eyes that you tried desperately to conceal. The tone of your voice, no longer lively and cheerful. He supposed after a year, you just didn’t want to pretend to be okay anymore. 
This will be the last time.
He’d break it off with you. His silent promises to spare you from anymore pain. The guilt ate away at him, feeling the nausea rise in his stomach. You deserved someone better than him, someone who would treat you the way you should be treated. He used to be that guy. Where did that man go? What happened to him? He supposed he didn’t have the right to be that person anymore.
He was always so tense thinking on what to say to you. On how to finally admit his wrongdoings. Whether you knew of his actions behind your back, finally voicing them out would be the nail in the coffin. The confirmation that he was indeed doing the things that you were suspecting him of. Perhaps thats why you could never ask or actually push forward with it.
Because even if you knew, with great certainty, you could deceive yourself into thinking he was still the boy you had fallen in love with all those years ago.
Akaashi only received a fleeting moment of peace from his thoughts of you when she was around. He absolutely despised it. It was despicable how he could find a sense of safety in her arms. It should’ve been you, only you. It was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong, and yet he couldn’t help but think it felt right. It was wicked and evil, there was no other way to put it. Her hands. Her kisses. Her touch. All the moments with her made him forget about you, if only for a brief period. The gentle feel and traces of her were like invisible tattoos, covering all the places you had marked, kissed and touched.
It was all just too intoxicating for him. From her silky smooth hair to the softness of her skin. However, when he ran his fingers all over her body, he couldn’t help but think of you. God he was pathetic. So, so badly he knew it was wrong. He already had you, had your love, had everything you had to give. So why would he run for comfort to her, only to end up wishing it was you instead? It didn’t make sense, and he couldn’t understand it at all.
“Keiji, why don’t you stay the night?”
“I can’t, I’m sorry”
“It can’t keep going on like this. You guys should break up. Then you wouldn’t have to keep going back there, and then you can finally stay here with me. Isn’t that what you want?”
No, it wasn’t. It was probably the reason why he’d never stay over with her. Because he always wanted to come home to you. If he didn’t want to stay with her, if he didn’t sleep in the same bed with her, if he didn’t want to hold her hand - everything he wanted to do with you - why did he still do it? Why! Why! Why! It constantly plagued his mind. He was just selfish.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
And so, Akaashi sat in his car, with his grip on the steering wheel, thinking of the words to say. He knew he needed to be delicate, but firm. To the point, but not blunt. ‘This will be the last time’, he says to himself. The last time he thinks of the words to say. The last time he sits in his car contemplating about everything. The last time he has to hurt you. He’ll let you go, let you cry, even let you throw any object in reach to let out your frustrations on him. Just as long as he didn’t have to hurt you anymore. With a shaky breath, he unlocks the car door and steadies himself. He makes his way to house you both shared, hand on the handle as he closes his eyes. It’s time to face the music.
He quietly opens and closes the door behind him, setting his belongings on the dark oak table sat next to the door. He hears you in the kitchen, your feet padding around on the tiled floor. He makes his way there and freezes. You’re slaving away in a large t-shirt and shorts just a bit too big for you. They’re his without a doubt. You hear his shoes clicking against the floor and turn around to face him.
“Welcome home Keiji”
He hated that the gleam in your eyes was gone, and that your lips had to form a smile way too forced. He hated what he had done to you.
“I’m making your favourite, it should be ready in about 10 minutes”
With that, Akaashi loses all composure. He steps forward, his long legs carrying himself towards the stove top, situating himself behind you. He reaches around to turn it off, and moves the pot to the next hotplate. You turn around to question him, only to end up surprised at how close he was. You’re flustered, and he can easily tell how nervous you are at the way your eyes dart at anywhere else but him.
The temperatures rising in your body, and you swear that Akaashi can feel it steaming out of you. He closes the distance quickly, and soon enough your tongues are fighting for dominance against each other. He was in such bliss, it was like your lips were moulded to be with his. In moments like this he could forget. When your touch covered the traces of her. When your taste overwhelmed hers. He wanted you imprinted on him again. But he knew, knew that soon enough, he’d wash it away with his mistress. A continuous cycle of you and her. Disgustingly selfish.
This will be the last time.
The last time he takes your hand. The last time he has the pleasure of kissing you. The last time he undresses you. He takes his time, drinking in your form under the moonlight. Not even the darkness could overshadow your light. He knows you do the same, your eyes focused on him now. You push him forward so he falls back on the plush mattress. Why would he ever think about anyone else? He knew this had to be the last. The last time he’d let his eyes fall over you. He needed to save these moments in his head so he’d never forget.
The last luxury he’d have of you.
So he’d soak it all in, ingrain it forever. He needed to remember it vividly so he could look back. Look back at the idiot he was for ever hurting you in this way. He didn’t deserve you in the slightest. He thought that if he could capture every last detail, it could be the least of his karma. To miss what he took for granted.
How many times had he thought that himself?
And at the end of it all, he’ll just lay there. In the bittersweet afterglow of the love you two had shared. He’ll close his eyes and prepare himself to lose it all. Lose you. You think he’s asleep as he’s so still and his breathing so even. You’ll comb your fingers through his hair, just like you always do, and mumble quietly about your devotion to him.
“I love you, so much Keiji”
You pray he doesn’t hear you, but he does. As clear as day, you whisper confessions of love and admiration for him. He knows he doesn’t deserve it. Not in the slightest, not at all.
But the gentle kiss you place on his lips has him reeling, and his resolve cracks. He can’t do it, because he’s just that selfish. He knows that in the end, it won’t be the last time. He’ll go through it all again. The guilt will eat him alive. The feel of bile on the tip of his tongue no longer phasing him - he’s gotten used to the taste. He’ll break your trust, again and again, and then carelessly attempt to put the pieces back together, just to shatter them more. It’s cruel, he knows this. He wishes you’d just insult him. Cuss him out. Do anything, but show him love over and over. He loves you, he truly does, and he knows how horrific it is to do this to somebody you claim to love. He just wants you to hurt him, tell him what a disgusting asshole he is, how he’s a piece of shit, a waste of space. Any and everything you can think of.
But you don’t.
And while you continue to show him affection, he’ll drown in the abyss of despair that he, himself put him in. Because during these moments he could pretend that you actually loved him. That you didn’t know of his cheating ways. That he wasn’t touching you with the same hands that held someone else.
So tomorrow it’ll all start over, and the cycle will continue. He’ll keep on breaking your heart, and you’ll both pretend to be okay with it. No matter how many times he told himself it would be the last.
He hoped that one day he wouldn’t be such a coward. That he would finally cut the strings that tied you both together and just end it. Akaashi knew it was wrong, but he was just that selfish and hypocritical.
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extra: IM SORRY! i know this probably wasn’t the part 2 that was wanted but 🤟😭 i couldn’t help myself! pls give any akaashi merch hugs and kithes 🥺🥺 my friend told me this mad him mad at him (i was going for sad, so im sorry if you get angry 😭) 💕✨ tysm if you read it 💝
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hailene · 3 years
Text
Blood Red Running Hood
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𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋!𝖜𝖔𝖓𝖜𝖔𝖔, 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍!𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐.𝟑 𝐊
𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓈𝓉| 𝓋𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓊
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The cold foggy morning was sending chills down your spine, the coldness reaching all the way to your flesh, to your bones. It was about to rain, you could tell. But nothing could stop you from going to your granny's house, in order to take care of her like you always said you would.
The thing is granny was dead.
You found her months ago, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth, sheets stained. You were horrified, not having seen anything like that before. But back then, a tiny little part of you sighed in relief. Granny was dead. The evil witch you had always been forced to take care of was now dead.
More than that, however, granny was murdered. And as you locked gazes with the murderer minutes after you found your grandmother dead, you body froze. You had heard about werewolves, you knew they existed, but the villagers had always tried their best to protect themselves from such creatures by going on patrols at night, killing anyone and anything that was out of the common. Your village was a small, simple gathering of poor houses. But it was tinted with so much sin and blood that it seemed like the village itself was cursed.
You had heard about werewolves. But you'd never believed you'd actually see one with your eyes. And more than that, you had never thought they would look so... human.
Probably, you would have never been able to tell the man sitting in front of you wasn't exactly human if it hadn't been for the steel-like glint in his eyes. And for the blood smearing at his lips.
For a moment, you were frozen, fear pumping through your veins and making it hard for you to breath. Then, you blacked out.
When you woke up, hours later, you thought you were in heaven. You were sure, absolutely sure that you were dead. But the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes were the steel-like eyes from earlier... except this time, they held some sort of warmth.
You looked around, realizing you were still at granny's, in her bed, with a new mattress, her lifeless body nowhere to be seen. The man sitting on the side of your bed smelled like rain, like mud, like the cold woods and the ashes in the chimney.
"I am Wonwoo," he said.
And you realized the smell was calming you down.
It's been a few months ever since then, a few months ever since you have started lying to everyone around you that you were taking good care of your beloved granny. When, in fact, you were obsessively visiting the small cottage just to meet Wonwoo. Again and again and again.
"What if they find out?" You remember yourself asking in fear one night, between two desperate kisses.
You remember him looking at you with so much love in his eyes that you could feel yourself melting, you remember wanting to pull him closer, closer... even though there was literally nothing between the two of you anymore, physically.
"Then I'll burn the whole damn village down," he answered before starting his hot work on you for the nth time that night.
Just to save you, you knew.
He was driving you insane.
Maybe that was why you couldn't help but come back to him. Again and again and again and...
When you enter the house, you find Wonwoo standing next to the hob, the delicious smell of food tingling your senses. You hum in delight as you close the door and take off your red hood, softly stepping towards the man. You hug him from behind and he lets the pots boil on the hob as he turns around to face you, kissing the top of your head gently. He smelled like rain, like mud, like fire and cold water. He smelled like home.
"I missed you, love," you hear him humming, filling you with warmth.
You haven't had a proper dinner in so long. You didn't have time for that, since you were always busy collecting the mail from the villagers and writing replies in the name of your beloved dead granny. She has always been seen as the wise woman, everybody was asking for advice from her. You knew everybody's secrets, you held way too much power for a little, young, unskillful witch.
But they didn't have to know that.
You occasionally told Laurette, your care-giver, that you'd stay over at your granny's. The woman was obviously glad that she wouldn't have to make sure she gives you any sort of dinner. You didn't quite stand her either. Ever since your parents passed and you and Kai, your younger brother, were given to Laurette to take care of you until you'd be able to take care of yourselves, your life had been a never-ending series of cloudy days. Kai used to be the only one able to cheer you up after a long, tiring day.
But now, Wonwoo could do much more.
A soft whimper escapes your lips as he goes down on you after the dinner, the dim light of the candles painting his skin in godly shades of gold. He was a murderer, an evil, a beast according to the villagers. That's why they didn't have to know about him, they didn't have to know about the two of you.
You had to admit that despite his humanly appearance, his werewolf features were showing sometimes, especially in bed. Sex with him was amazing. He was teasing, rough, but extremely good and even though you could have been scared of the extra-terrestrial strength of his choke-hold, you couldn't help but feel lured in towards him. You were obsessed.
"You should stop coming around for a few days, love," Wonwoo whispers after collapsing next to you.
You knew why. The full moon was coming.
He kisses you softly as you drift away to a sweet sleep. He was gone when you woke up the next morning.
When you returned home that day, you could feel that Laurette's gaze on you was different. Even if you didn't want to pay attention to it, the tiny drop of magic that was running through your veins was making it impossible for you to ignore it. It was almost like you could taste the fear in the atmosphere at home.
"What's wrong, Laurette?" You ask as she passes by your room with a heap of rags in her arms.
She looks at you for a few moments, as if she was surprised that you took notice of her behaviour. Then, she shakes her head, rushing towards the kitchen like she'd seen a ghost. You frown, unable to understand her behaviour. Did something happen while you were with Wonwoo last night? What could it be?
The answer, however, was about to be given to you in the form of Kai hastily waking you up the following night, incomprehensible cries and panicked whispers escaping his lips.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong, baby boy?" You ask while cupping his puffy cheeks, sleep still clouding your judgement.
"Fire, Y/N, they fire," your little brother cries.
You frown confused, rubbing your eyes to wake up.
"What fire, baby?" You ask as Kai starts crying harder. "What are you talking about?"
"They're coming, I've heard they want to burn the witch on a rug, Y/N!" He cries and your blood runs cold.
They can't possibly know, can they?
"Witch, baby boy? What witch?" You ask softly, trying your best to hide the panic.
"I-I think they were talking about y-..." he tries to say but you cover his mouth softly, your limbs already shaking.
"What else did you hear, baby?" You ask, trying to keep your voice steady.
"They w-went to granny's h-house," he cries softly. "One of them wa-was... killed by-"
You didn't need anything more than this.
You get up from your mattress and put some clothes on, helping Kai to dress up as well. You take your blood-red hood and put it on, kneeling next to your brother afterwards.
You could already hear loud voices outside.
"You go to the water wheel and hide there until I come to get you, okay?" You speak, holding him tightly. "If I don't come by dawn, you run and never come back here, okay?"
"B-But, Y/N–"
"Y/N loves you, baby boy, Y/N loves you so much," you whisper as tears come streaming down your face.
Kai starts sobbing too. It breaks you.
"Chin up, baby, okay?" You say, trying to get a hold of yourself. "Just have faith and trust Y/N."
Before your brother can say anything else, you jump out the window.
You run through the night, far away from the angry voices and fire torches. You run through the woods, mindlessly, only having one thought in your mind.
Wonwoo.
Was he okay? Did he kill yet another villager? You were aware of the fact that he was so far from being a saint and that it wasn't the first time he'd kill one of the people in your village, but that only made you love him more. You weren't much of a good character either.
As you reach the cottage in the woods, you realize it was vandalized. The few pieces of poor furniture were broken, pots, candles and papers thrown on the floor. The few remaining potions, herbs and spell books you had stored were all torn open, pulled out from the secret places you thought you had secured them in. It was all a mess, a bloody, ruthless mess and the deep animal scratches on the wall weren't making it any better.
No sign of Wonwoo.
As you look around more carefully, your blood runs cold. You shouldn't have come here.
It was a trap.
"The little witch is here," the man in front of you shouts and you here footsteps coming from the outside.
Before you can turn around and run away, more men enter the cottage, blocking your way, and panic rises from the pit of your stomach, your vision getting blurry. Seconds later, you feel something hard hitting your head from behind, letting you fall in a dark abyss.
Before you open your eyes, you feel warmth, heat. You feel fire. And as you open them, you realize why. Your body was tied to a wooden rug, surrounded by a circle of flames. It was hot, almost unbearably.
"The witch woke up! It's time to burn her back to hell!" You hear someone screaming.
Your eyes meet Laurette's figure and you feel your whole body filling with so much rage that you swore the flames around you started burning brighter. And then you see it, the whole village gathered around you in hateful circles, looking at you as if you killed their families. Maybe you did. But not intentionally.
Rocks and sticks were being thrown at you, curses and words spit in your direction, but nothing that your mind and body could cope with. Your time has arrived, you were getting the fate that you deserved, so now, you could only hope that your brother and your lover were going to be okay.
You are a witch after all. You are evil. And you have been too stupid, too careless to keep on living. You deserve to die. You deserve to be burnt on a rug.
As one of the villagers approaches you with a lit torch, you hear a freezing growl, not that far from where you were. Moments later, the fire surrounding you starts reflecting in different places. You think it's your mind going insane, you think it's your vision getting damaged by fear, by defeat, by the unnerving warmth the flames were attacking you with. But as you hear the growl getting louder and the panicked screams of the villagers running around, you realize something went wrong in their plan.
You can't help but laugh as the villager who was coming towards you starts running for his life, screaming as the grey wolf with fire in his eyes starts chasing him. You couldn't be afraid of the wolves. You couldn't be afraid of Wonwoo.
People slowly disappear, corpses taking their place, the fire slowly starting to take over the whole town. You were surrounded by a realm of flames and you felt like you were on fire yourself, but you were laughing like a maniac, unable to control yourself.
Your curses worked. This God-forsaken village was now burning to fucking ashes.
You feel something or someone untying your wrists and ankles from the wooden rug and as you turn to look next to you, you meet the steel-like gaze of the man you were so in love with. He picks you up from the torture place and rushes out of the fire, running and running until you can actually feel the cold night wind whipping your bare skin.
Wonwoo turns around to look once again at the burning village, the fire contrasting with the dark night in such a sinfully-pleasing way. You adored that.
"It's finally gone," he whispers, your mouth watering at his hoarse voice.
I'll burn the whole damn village down, you remember.
You pull him by his torn shirt and he looks at you, warmth shining in his eyes brighter than that goddamn fire. You kiss him hungrily, tasting the smoke, the blood and the mud on his lips. It was all sweeter than honey, more addicting than any sort of herb you've seen before. This was Wonwoo, the forbidden taste you have always, always been longing for. Now you had it. And in the devil's name, you regretted absolutely nothing.
"The water wheel," you choke out as you pull away, your lips swollen, tinted with blood. "We have to find Kai at the water wheel."
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writing-gifts · 3 years
Text
both sides of the viewfinder chp. 1
adult film star!bruno x afab!reader  (they are also gn)
this is 18+ content
summary:  Bruno's interested in you and you're interested in him. It's only a matter of time.
chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4
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A/N: okay so this is gonna be 3 chapters. the last chapter’s smut, but there’s pretty suggestive stuff happening in the 2nd chapter
i did research for this and wanted to try to make it more on the realistic side but there's always the chance that i messed up somewhere, so if you wanna point it out go ahead. it'll be good to know for the future!
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This wasn't your first time filming for sex work but you felt a little out of your element. The studio that recently hired you was much bigger than what you were used to and considering that you were mainly doing freelance work before, this made everything feel much more professional and serious. Their work had to be highly produced.
"--We aren’t super strict about that, but you should definitely tell me before you go anywhere."
Right now, you were being given a quick tour by one of the people you'd be working with--the Director of Photography. Jocelyn was pretty much your manager and would be giving you most of the orders.
You continue to follow behind her as she continues to show you around. But you couldn't help eyeing the high quality lights and cameras you pass as she talked though. The equipment must have been worth a lot.
Once she has finished showing you around, she leads you back to the set filled with the crew that you passed earlier.
You listen closely as she goes over the details of the film.
"This will be the room where the main scene will take place. Today we will have you operating one of the stationary cameras, but since you’ve done stuff like this before I decided to let you do it without someone breathing down your neck. Just follow my orders."
You like the woman already. "Thank you."
"The shoot will start in--" she checks her watch, "--about an hour. Today is just filming for you but you know you’ll be doubling up as a runner when necessary. We might also have you help with other tasks while you work here too."
You nod to show you understand.
She smiles, "If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask me or any of your co-workers. Try to avoid asking the director though…."
-------
You adjust the headphones on your head as you stand in front of the camera you'd be in charge of today.
Working it should be simple enough since you didn't have to actually move. You just needed to make sure it stayed in focus so they had more options when it came to angles.
About 10 minutes later, the two actors starring today show up dressed in fairly nice clothes that they wouldn't be wearing for too long. One of them seemed quite friendly with everyone. He must be pretty popular you think.
Before you can recede to your thoughts, you recognize him.
Is that Bruno Bucciarati?
You quickly confirm that it is and turn your body away from him and towards the camera, as if doing that would hide you. You weren't necessarily a stan but you did follow him on social media. And perhaps you did subscribe to his OnlyFans. And there's a good chance you paid money for some of his work.
It wasn't your fault that he was one of the few male stars you found attractive!
You shake your head. This was work. Don't get starstruck.
Luckily, it doesn't take you long to get distracted with the camera. You rarely get to operate such expensive equipment like this so you find yourself looking at all it had to offer.
While you neglect socializing with the people you would be working with from now on, someone comes up to you.
"You look so focused."
Your eyes widen from the sudden voice and you pull down your headphones as you look to the side. "Oh sorry--" When you see who it is the rest of your statement dies in your throat.
However, Bruno isn't deterred by your abrupt stop. "You must be the new camera person."
You stare a second too long before nodding.
He holds out a hand and you have to calm your shaking one before reaching out and grabbing his. His hand was really warm.
“Nice to meet you, my name's Bruno Bucciarati."
"I'm ____. I've actually seen some of your work before! You really are as handsome as in the videos."
Even though you're straight-faced, you were regretting what you just said. It was a simple compliment but what if it was too much? His looks did astound you though, there was no denying it. And you really didn't understand how he managed to pull off that haircut.
You smile to ease the tension within yourself and Bruno returns it. Whether it was genuine or out of politeness you didn't know, but it helps you relax.
"Thank you," he says.
“Okay everyone get in your damn places! We’ll be starting soon!”
Your brows raise at the director’s choice of words.
Bruno turns back to you. "Well, let's do our best to get through this."
You nod and watch him walk towards the bed where his co-star is waiting, and the director immediately starts going over what he wants the two of them to do once he’s there.
You decide to do a quick second check on your camera to make sure everything is still working properly before waiting patiently for the director to start.
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Between some cuts and breaks, filming’s done about 6 hours later. You’d been informed about the typical work time so you weren't surprised. The porn from this studio was highly produced, with a few “amateur” looking works thrown in, so it was the norm. But this was the longest you had worked on one film. So depending on how particular the director was, you would need to be prepared to do at least several hours of filming when behind the camera.
You rub your eyes. It's only 4 pm but you're yearning for your bed. You could only imagine how tired the actors were.
Right after you turn off the camera, Jocelyn calls you over.
"You did well today and looks like you don't need any serious training. Good job!" she praises.
You guessed you passed the new hire "test". That gave you a bit of an energy boost and you can't help the smile on your face.
While you remove the camera from its tripod, you begin to retreat to your mind. And of course, your mind wanders to a certain actor.
Bruno was good at what he did. Really good. And the other actor seemed to genuinely enjoy working with him too. For a second, you wonder what it's like.
You glance up and accidentally make eye contact with a now fully clothed Bruno. The man walks towards you and even though you had watched him just have sex for multiple hours, you feel nervous.
“What’s up?” you ask when he's close enough.
"Nothing. I like to check up on newcomers, but you must have worked in this field for a while since they usually tend to have some hang ups."
"Uh yea. I've been doing stuff like this for awhile. Good work today by the way."
"Same with you. It was long but things went as smoothly as they could."
You nod in agreement and finish folding up the tripod. “They did, but honestly that one position you were in looked super uncomfortable! Is your back okay?”
The man laughs. “I'll be fine. That was pretty tame to be fair.”
“Wow, you must be super fit or flexible then...” You notice your coworkers walking off with equipment and decide its best to end the conversation so you can follow them. "Oh, I need to put away this stuff. Thanks for checking up on me though!"
Bruno smiles at you and you scurry off with the camera and the tripod.
-----
You'd been here a week so far. Each day varied with things to do and you never really knew what you'd exactly be working on until you got to the studio.
For today you had a list of various tasks but the first one was conducting a pre-shoot interview with the actors for the porn being shot in an hour.
You look through the viewfinder at the two men sitting on the couch. You were already recording but the interview hadn't started just yet.
“It’s been awhile since I've done an interview so bear with me...” you mumble while going over the questions in your head.
“No pressure ____,” Bruno says.
The man doesn't seem bothered but Prosciutto, on the other hand, isn’t as laid back.
“You should at least have a list of questions prepared,” the blonde says.
"Yep right here!" You pull out a piece of paper from your pocket. From the list you could tell this collaboration had been long requested by their fans.
“I did my best to remember it but just in case…” You place the paper on a surface out of view.
You readjust the camera on your shoulder before speaking again. “Okay, let's start with names you say.”
You focus the camera on Bruno. You wish you had a tripod, but they were insistent on having you walk around with the damn thing to make it feel more “personal”.
"I’m Bruno Bucciarati."
You then turn the camera to focus on Prosciutto.
"I’m Prosciutto."
“So I know this is the first time you both are working together. How are we feeling?”
Bruno smiles. “I'm feeling pretty good and ready to work. How about you, Prosciutto?”
“Pretty much how I do before any shoot.”
“And what's that?” you ask.
Prosciutto crosses his arms. “Mostly relaxed but looking forward to it of course.”
"That's good. I know it'll be tiring filming and from how highly requested this seems to be, the director's going to want this to be perfect. But I'm hoping you guys still have fun."
"I'm sure we will, but I still don't know why so many people wanted us to work together," Prosciutto says.
Bruno nods. "Agreed. I feel like we’ve rarely interacted until now."
"Well people like seeing attractive people together. And I've actually seen fancams of you two interacting on Twitter. It's pretty entertaining!"
“You search those up?” Bruno asks.
“No, they just show up on my timeline sometimes.”
“...So you're a fan of Bruno then?” You weren't sure why but you sense a bit of judgement coming from Prosciutto.
"A little, but let's move on." You take a peek at the paper. "So who’s receiving and who’s catching?"
You raise a brow at how the question’s phrased.
Bruno looks at Prosciutto. “Don't you think we should let the film speak for itself.”
The blonde hums in agreement. “If they need to know so badly, they can skip ahead.”
“True. I think either way would be fun to watch though,” you say.
“Definitely. You should let me know what you think later.” Bruno says.
You don't mean to smile but it's already happening. "Sure."
“You're real unprofessional flirting with the camera person in the middle of an interview,” Prosciutto chides.
“It's just some banter. Are you jealous?”
Prosciutto tsks at Bruno's statement.
You shake your head deciding not to acknowledge those comments. The editor would have to cut out that bit. The two seemed to get along well enough for work but you had a feeling they would get on each other's nerves if they stayed together too long.
“Okay so this is definitely a good question to ask next. What do you guys like about each other? Either personality or physical wise."
Prosciutto glances at Bruno before speaking. “I can admit that the man has a nice….physique.”
You grin. "You sound like I'm putting a gun to your head."
The man fixes you with a very unamused look but you continue on smiling.
"What about you Bruno?" you ask.
“Well he has an attractive face and body, of course. His stubbornness is enjoyable at times too.”
“Stubbornness?”
Prosciutto seems to have the same question as you because he looks at Bruno for his explanation.
“Yes it's a good trait to have in certain situations.” Bruno returns the blonde’s stare. “It'll also make seeing him unravel much more interesting.”
The two of them are now looking at each other very intently and you feel like you should leave the room. But you need to finish the interview.
“Nice...so this is the last question. Is there anything specific you two are looking forward to?”
Fortunately, the two of them can still hear you and respond.
Bruno hums, “I suppose it's been awhile since I've given a blowjob, so there's that.”
"...And I'm looking forward to receiving one."
You let out a chuckle, “Okay, Prosciutto I see what you're about.” You quickly skim the list of interview questions. "Well looks like that's it! You guys ready to go?”
They both give you their positive answers.
“Then let's get you guys ready for the shoot."
Bruno smiles while Prosciutto's face stays neutral.
After that statement you stop recording.
“Okay, nice job guys!” You look at the clock on the wall. “That went pretty fast. So you can go ahead and head to the set.”
Prosciutto nods and exits the room but Bruno stays behind.
“Are you going to be helping film for the shoot?” he asks.
You gently place the camera down on the table where you left the paper.
“No, I have to go out and buy some things for something being filmed later this week. And then I have to go do some other stuff around the studio…” You laugh, “They really have me running around!”
Bruno looks slightly concerned. “You’d prefer to stay behind the camera the whole time right?”
“Yep but that's okay. I already knew what I was getting into, and I get paid better pretty well for it.” You look back up at the clock. “I’ll definitely be back for the interview after filming though so I should see you then.”
Bruno nods. "Okay, good luck with your errands."
----
By the end of the day, you're exhausted. Your list of tasks wasn't hard, you just ended up moving a lot more than you planned. You even almost forgot to take your break in your hustle.
When you return to your apartment, you eat something and take a quick shower before dressing up for bed. And once you're snuggled up in your covers, you decide to check your Twitter to see if anything interesting has happened.
While scrolling through the random posts retweeted throughout the day, you happen upon a pretty suggestive picture of Bruno in lingerie. He posted it not too long ago.
Nice.
You click on his icon to check his page to see if there’s anything else new, and under his username notice the words follows you.
Your eyes widen and you double check and refresh to make sure you're not seeing things. You go into your notifications and see that he followed you a couple hours ago. You really weren't sure what to do. It would be weird if you messaged him, right?
You take a deep breath and decide to take the chance. Bruno probably got hundreds of messages so it shouldn't be a big deal.
hi, i saw that you followed me. just making sure you didn't make a mistake lol
Before you can overthink it you send the message. After that you go back to his page and like and retweet the lingerie photo, but you still need a distraction so you wouldn't obsess over a possible reply. When you're thinking of getting out of bed, a message from Bruno pops up.
You quickly open it to see the full message.
No mistakes here. I searched you up and saw that you already followed me so I wanted to follow back.
It's not the first time you've been followed by pornstars or coworkers you worked with, but it was honestly still rare. And something about it being Bruno made your heart beat faster. You momentarily think about everything you retweeted in the last hour, before sending a message back.
oh okay, thx! i'll try not to bother you too much, you probably get a lot of messages
A few seconds pass before you get another reply.
Not necessarily. I have DMs off for people I don't follow. I love my fans but they can get...rowdy. Either way, you can message me whenever you want.
Wow, what would you even talk about with Bruno outside of work related things...
oh, that makes sense. well i guess i’ll take you up on the offer ^^
You see the three dots going for a while before another message appears.
I saw you retweeted my picture.
Your heart skips a beat.
oh god, now i feel embarrassed all of a sudden!
No don’t be. I'm glad you like it.
You smile to yourself.
yea, you look really good in lingerie ...you look good in anything tbh or without anything lmao
You feel like you're about to say something really embarrassing if this conversation continues and quickly type up another message before he can respond.
i’m really tired so i’m going to get ready for bed
The three dots disappear for a moment before showing up again.
Shame, I would have liked talking more. But I understand, you looked really exhausted during the post interview.
yea i was but it’s no biggie and we can message later ❤
Okay then, sleep well ____.
good night 😴
You close out of the app after that and honestly, that went way better than you were expecting.
205 notes · View notes
cacoetheswriting · 4 years
Text
fluff alphabet - spencer reid
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A = Attractive (what do they find attractive about the other?)
It would be safe to say you’re strangerly attracted to his genius. Many people find it annoying, how he spits facts completely unwarranted, but not you. His vast knowledge of quite literally anything is what sparked your interest in the young doctor in the first place.
Spencer on the other hand is captivated by your smile. The kindness behind it; how truly genuine it always is. He especially likes when he is the reason that smile spreads across your face, from cheek to cheek, illuminating your perfect features.
B = Baby (do they want a family? why/why not?)
Definitely yes, and you know Spencer would make a great dad. He has a way with kids and it comes to him so naturally. Frankly you can’t wait for the day you get to tell him you’re expecting.
C = Cuddle (how do they cuddle?)
One arm wrapped securely around you, pulling you in as close to him as possible. Your head resting on his shoulder landing just below his chin. He smells your hair taking in the scent of your shampoo before placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. 
D = Dates (what are dates with them like?)
He likes to take you out to the movies where you share popcorn and a large soda. A lot of coffee dates where he enlightens you on books he read or reread and you fill him in on the latest pop culture gossip. Nothing too adventurous but never boring.
E = Everything (“you are my ____” (e.g my life, my world…))
“You’re my home.” Spencer whispered, his hands cupping your face. You blinked a couple of times registering what he just said but before you got a chance to respond he continued. “When I’m with you, I feel so comfortable and at peace. I can truly be myself around you, no judgement or scrutiny.” He took a soft breath. “When I’m with you I feel at home and that doesn't make much sense to me but you’ve told me before that not everything has to make sense. Especially when it comes to love.”
F = Feelings (when did they know they were falling in love?)
One evening at a bar with your friends you repeated a fact to the group that Spencer had told you earlier in the week. It caught him off guard because no-one really listens to the rambles that come out of his mouth. Yet here you were, the biggest smile on your face as you reiterated: “chewing gum boosts concentration.”. You glanced at the young doctor from across the table. His eyes lit up as they locked with yours. That’s when he knew. 
G = Gentle (are they gentle? If so, how?)
Spencer is one of the gentlest souls you have ever met. He has an incredibly pure and kind heart. He always puts you first and would never dare to do anything that could hurt you. Your happiness is his priority and even though he’s not the most physical person he always does everything in his power to make you see how loved you are. 
H = Hand/Hold (how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?)
For many reasons he isn't the biggest fan of public displays of affection. But when he does hold your hand, he traces down your fingers gently with his own before intertwining them. He’d then lift your hand to his lips and place a soft kiss on your knuckle.
I = Impression (first impression/s)
At first Spencer found you quite hard to read. He’s usually not good at social cues or interactions therefore it took him longer than the rest of the team to really get to know you. 
You on the other hand were instantly mesmerised by the young doctor. The wealth of knowledge he possessed was captivating and in a way inspiring.
J = Joker (are they into pulling pranks?)
Definitely; Spencer loves a good practical joke. He also has quite a good sense of humour. Not everyone always understands his jokes but they never fail to make you giggle.
K = Kisses (how do they kiss?)
When Spencer kisses you he does so with all his might. Unlike his usual gentle demeanour, when he kisses you it’s always with immense passion. He cups your face with his hands and pulls you in as close as humanly possible. 
L = Love (who says I love you first?)
You do - however completely by accident. “Did you know nutmeg can be fatally poisonous?” Spencer asked as the barista handed you a brown paper bag with a pumpkin dessert bar inside. “A little dash of nutmeg in a pumpkin pie or on your eggnog gives it extra flavour Spencer.” You noted flashing him a smile. “Too much nutmeg, however, can be toxic. Two to three teaspoons of raw nutmeg can induce hallucinations, convulsions, pain, nausea, and paranoia that can last for several days.” He stated. You couldn't help but laugh. “I love you Spencer but I’m not going to die because of a sweet indulgence.” It took you a second to register what you just said. Your free hand travelled to your mouth covering it with a soft gasp. “Shit Spencer, I didn-” “You love me?” He interrupted. All you could do was nod in response. 
M = Memory (their favourite moment together)
After a particularly hard case Spencer drives you home, like he has done so many times before. He walks you to the door of your apartment and waits until you are safely inside. He places a soft kiss on your forehead and says goodnight - which is when you ask him to come inside, stay the night. Rather than going to sleep however you stay up baking what turned out to be the worst brownies either of you have ever tasted. 
N = Nickel (do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?)
Spencer is not an overly material person. He prefers to shower you with words of affirmation and subtle compliments. Although when he does give you a gift it is always extremely thoughtful and definitely something that means a lot to the two of you.
O = Orange (what colour reminds them of their other half?)
If he had to associate a colour with you it would be yellow. Yellow - the colour of optimism. The colour of sunshine and enthusiasm. It stimulates the left side of the brain, helping with clear thinking and quick decision making. 
P = Pet names (what pet names do they use?)
He shortened your name. It was unintentional when it first happened but you liked the way it sounded so it stuck. You on the other hand, if you’re not using his first name, usually call him ‘honey’ or ‘sugar’ which he used to hate. If you’re feeling giddy you’ll call him by the original nickname you came up before you were dating: ‘suspence’.
Q = Questions (what are the questions they’re always asking?)
“Are you okay?” - you are his priority therefore he likes to make sure nothing is ever wrong. “Do you need anything?” “How are you feeling?” 
R = Rainy Day (what do they like to do on a rainy day?)
When the weather outside is far from ideal and the two of you are not out working a case, Spencer likes to curl up on the couch with you. He’ll put on an old back and white movie as you provide the drinks.  
S = Sad (how do they cheer themselves/each other up)
If he’s feeling sad you find yourself reaching for a random book on his shelf and reading the first few chapters aloud. His head rests in your lap, eyes closed, as he listens to the sweet sound of your voice. 
If you’re feeling down, Spencer will draw you a bath. He’ll light a couple of candles and dot them around the bathroom. He’ll play relaxing music through the speaker of his phone as the two of you enjoy the warm water together. 
T = Talking (what do they love to talk about?)
The short answer, everything. You never run out of topics to discuss and the conversation flow is always pleasantly smooth. 
U = Unencumbered (what helps them relax?)
Quite simply you. No-one knows Spencer the way you do and even though the two of you haven't been together for very long you know exactly what to say or do to calm him down.
V = Vaunt (what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)
Spencer is modest which is one of the things you admire about him. The one thing he truly shows off is his knowledge of pretty much everything - even if he does it unintentionally. 
W = Wedding (when, how, where do they propose?)
“Almost fifty percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce or separation.” Spencer said turning off the documentary you just finished watching. “Researchers estimate that forty-one percent of all first marriages end in divorce.” He continued. “Well, lets hope when we get married we’ll be in the lucky fifty-nine percent that lasts.” You teased, a small smile circling your lips.
X = Xylophone (what’s their song?)
Let’s Groove by Earth, Wind & Fire. The song was queued by Penelope at one of Rossi’s famous get togethers - before you and Spencer were dating. She swayed and twirled, soon joined by Morgan, as the rest of the group watched and laughed. You glanced at the young doctor and before he got a chance to protest you dragged him into the middle of the room to dance. 
Y = You’re the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)
“You’re the Holmes to my Watson.” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Why am I not Watson?” “Because you’re not that kind of doctor.” You nudged Spencer playfully. He couldn't help but laugh under his breath. “That is a terrible analogy.” “Terrible or not, it’s true.” 
Z = Zebra (if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?)
He wouldn't want a pet for now. The job is too demanding, he’s away for long periods of time and there'd be no-one to take care of it. Perhaps in the future, when you’re married and have kids. Perhaps. 
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