#Me looking at me last year hating everything that made me me: cringe anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xxkissesforchanniexx · 2 months

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𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐞

Pairing: childhood bff!Chan x fem!reader (non-idol au) Word count: 3.4k Genre: Fluff 🥰💖, Smut 🔥❤️ (angst if you squint) Warning: Weddings... (lord help me), pro best friend chan, mentions of familial favoritism, semi rough sex? , soft dom!chan, sweet name calling(babygirl, princess), slightly jealous chan, comfort, lord someone teach me how to make better warnings, i think thats all? (someone needs to teach me to proof read.)

A/N: THANK YOU FOR 100 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU <3 I'm working on improving the formating of my works so >.> bare with me if some of the stuff doesnt translate over well on different devices, especially the text message part >.>

When you were young, you often got compared to your sister, your sister who loved pink and poodles and tutu skirts. She was younger than you by a year and yet, she always out did you, always was a step ahead, always beating you in everything. Yeah, you loved her, but the pain of comparison drove a wedge between you two.

You were 5 when you met Chan. He was very silly, always playing games and smiling, you happened to attend the same school and after he stood up for you against an older boy at the park you two were inseparable.

Chan, who sang for you. Chan, who shared his food with you. Chan, who taught you how to dance. Chan, who teased you for acting like a nerd. Chan, who was your best friend.

Chan was sitting on the couch in your apartment, watching a cringey romantic comedy with you when your phone rang. You gave it a glance and cringed, your grandmother's name appeared on the screen with a image of the woman with an almost plastic smile.

"You should probably answer." Chan said, "Would make it worse if you didn't."

You gave your best friend a side eye. "Nah really?"

He laughed lightly as you answered the phone.

"Hi, honey, you are joining us this year for the whole family get-together aren't you?" The old woman's voice came through the speaker to your ear.

"Of course Grandma-" You started.

"That's what you said last year, and you didn't come."

You made a face, the reason you hadn't gone was because you were sick. "Things happen Grandma."

"And the year before that?"

You pursed your lips, glancing at Chan. You weren't avoiding your family really you were just... avoiding the conflict that ensued when you were with your family. And by conflict you meant the constant onslaught of questions and disappointed looks you got whenever your family asked about anything you were doing with your life.

"And anyway, it's been so long since we've heard from you, we want to see how you've been, keep the family together, bring new people in along the way." Your grandma sounded so happy.

"What do you mean?" You were confused by the "bring new people".

"Oh dear. Did your sister not tell you?" Your grandma sighed, "She has a surprise for us this year."

You sighed. Your little sister always was one better than you, or two, or ten...

"Y/n?" Your grandma's voice brought you out of your daze and Chan leaned forward looking at your face.

"I'll be there this year grandma, I promise."

"Alright. Bye bye honey."

"Bye..." You said in a small voice hanging up.

Chan smiled slightly at you. "So?"

"Help."

His eyes widened slightly before darting around. "You know I really would if I could read minds but it's awfully sad I cant."

You rolled your eyes at the man. "My family dislikes everything I do."

"And?" Chan leaned back, raising a brow.

"They don't dislike you."

"What are you trying to do here?"

You clasped your hands and gave your best friend the most innocent pure pleading gaze. "Come with me, so they won't hate on me."

Chan made a face. "No-"

"I'll pay for the wifi in your apartment for the next two- four months." You grabbed your friend's big hands in yours, "Please!"

"Just because they don't hate me doesn't mean they won't hate on you." Chan said exasperated.

"BUT they'll find someone to compare to you so I won't have to be put down by this." You give him a pleading look.

"Y/n. I've done a lot of dum shit before this is my limit."

"Channie!" You begged. "Come on! I'll pay your netflix subscription too!"

Chan groaned. "Fine! You're making me feel guilty."

"AH! You're the best Chan." You smiled hugging you friend.

He rolled his eyes and patted your hair. "You're lucky netflix is expensive."

So there you were dinner, with your family, your grandmother quick to jump and compliment Chan and compare your father and uncles to him when they were his age. Everyone complimenting your sister and asking her what the big news was. Your dad looked about ready to leave when your younger sister stood. tapping her spoon against her glass gently.

You looked at her, she smiled at you, a smile you couldn't read.

"I have a big announcement to make." She looked at her boyfriend. "Well.. we have a big announcement to make."

"What is it dear?" Your mother asked.

"We're getting married!" Your little sister jumped and smiled. Everyone started clapping.

The initial excitement and congratulations ended, leaving a gently chattering at the table.

Cue your grandmother.

"Y/n dear, what about you?"

Silence.

Everyone looked at you.

Your sister sighed slightly. "Granny, you can't pester her. Give her time, she might get married before 40."

A soft laugh rippled over the table, you stared at your little sister. She smiled innocently, your fist clenched under the table. So what if she was younger and prettier and more successful. You made a move to excuse yourself but Chan grabbed your fist under the table, you relaxed your grip and his fingers slipped between yours and squeezed gently. Your heart skipped a beat and you looked up at your best friend, smiling.

Her Majesty the Queen 01:53 She was obviously out to get you.

Butt Hunter 01:53 I agree

🐶 01:54 Go to the wedding in white.

Baby Chick 01:54 💀

. Me 01:54 I'm NOT going to my sister's wedding in white!

Beanie boy 01:54 He's giving real solutions here.

Squirrel 01:55 Just don't go?

Bread. 01:55 All you do is avoid conflict.

Squirrel 01:55 NO I DONT

Noodle Spirit Survivor. 01:56 shut up. it's 2 in the fucking morning.

. Me 01:56 Sorry Chan, we'll shut up now.

Beanie boy 01:56 Erm actually it's 1:56 AM

🐶 01:56 It's called silent old man.

Bread. 01:56 LMFAO

Baby Chick 01:56 LOL

Butt Hunter 01:56 I don't think his phone box has a silent button.

Squirrel 01:57 😭

Her Majesty the Queen 01:57 💀

You put your phone down and picked up the invitation to your sister's wedding, 4 months... all you had was 4 months to get someone to go to the wedding with. You sighed, going to the app store and downloaded for the nth time, tinder. Cringing.

You had four months to at least meet some expectations, get a nice guy for maybe a month or two, ask him to be your plus one to your sister's wedding then what? You shrugged to yourself and shoved your phone under your pillow before going to sleep.

Chan realized he was screwed, he watched you get ready for another date.

"Honestly." You sighed sitting down to put on your makeup. "I might just go with a random guy. Or maybe I could take Hyunjin or Jisung."

He pursed his lips. Was he even an option for you? What made this guy from tinder so important you had to doll yourself up to go see him. Chan bit his lip, you were his best friend, he could fix the problem, he could be your plus one, he could ask. but he didn't. He was too scared to.

He remembered his conversation with Changbin and Minho a few days earlier. Maybe he was being too much of a pussy. He'd known you for ages, he knew how you liked your coffee and the music that calmed you down, he knew what part in silly romance movies made you cry, he knew when you were uncomfortable and when you were too angry to speak.

"If you keep beating around the bush with how you feel you might never get a chance."

Changbin's words rang in his ears and he bit his lip.

"Y/n what if-" He started.

The doorbell rang as you finished applying your lip stick. "Oh, I gotta go Channie." You stood and hugged him. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck." Chan gave you a small smile and the moment you were out the door he was cursing himself for not stopping you. "Damnit."

Chan wished he hadn't wished you luck. You and Seokmin, your date, apparently hit it off. For the next two and a half weeks Chan felt like a third wheel in his own friendship with you, if you weren't on the phone with Seokmin, you were texting him, and if you weren't texting him, you were talking about him.

It really came to a head when Hyunjin invited the entirety of the group chat to go out for karaoke and you were busy with Seokmin the day off.

It hand't really been his intention to show up at your place angry, just the thought of you not just ghosting him but the whole friend group. He knocked a few times. no response.

Chan knocked again. he still got no response. Sure the key in the dirt of the potted plant hanging under the sign of your apartment number was for emergencies only, but this was an emergency. (to him anyway.)

Chan opened the door and entered your apartment, expecting to hear lewd sounds or... what else was he really expecting. But as he approached your door his heart ached. It wasn't a sound he heard often from you but it was one he could recognize any day. Chan pushed the door open slowly. You sat on your bed, hugging a pillow, eyes red and puffy, tears streaking your face, you didn't notice him until he closed the door gently behind himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

You quickly wiped your tears. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

Chan sighed. "Come here." He sat on the bed and opened his arms.

You leaned into him muttering, "Seokmin is a dumass."

"What happened?" Chan asked, rubbing your shoulder gently.

"He blocked me." You sniffed. "Out of the fucking blue."

Chan hummed softly. "His loss."

You looked up at your friend, "You're so dum."

"Nuh uh, I think I'm pretty smart princess." Chan smiled gently.

"I don't think so." You laughed softly.

He looked down at you. "'M smart enough to stay your friend."

You nod slightly, "I stayed attached to you at the hip is more like it."

"Didn't have a problem with it."

"Chan." You rubbed your friend's arm.

"Hm?"

"Go with me."

"Where?" he asked dumbly.

You sat up and flicked his forehead. "You know where."

"I don't get anything out of it." He rubbed his forehead.

"I'll uh..."

"Worry about it later." He huffed and stood, smoothing your hair. "Should we get (comfort food)?"

"I was wondering when you'd ask." You punched him softly and led the way out of your room.

The day of the wedding you were wearing a long pastel blue dress, and Chan a matching suit, it wasn't the first time you'd matched with your best friend, but this felt more special. Your grandmother and parents gave you side ways glances during the wedding procession, and once the reception had started so did your grandma's vulture like flocking.

"Y/N i really thought you would've come with someone other than Chan, maybe your sister was right you just need time." the old woman sighed.

You sucked in a breathe but Chan grabbed your hand under the table, his words making you freeze, "Is there a problem with me attending as her boyfriend?"

You turned to Chan and he squeezed your hand as if urging you to play along.

Your grandmother looked at you stunned. "What? Since when?"

"The dinner really opened my eyes, maybe guys don't approacher because I'm around, I do look like her boyfriend don't I?" He glanced at you, "Why not give it a shot?"

Your family must have heard your grandmother's cry because your mother and father came over a few moments later and you watched as Chan worked his charm, a mask on his face the entirety of the time.

Your sister looked between you and Chan, blinking quite a bit. As your parents congratulated you on not being single for the first time, you felt like you out did your sister, you looked at Chan, he smiled gently at you and your heart jumped.

After a lot of drinks and cake you decided it was time to head home.(Chan had to drag you out.)

The ride back to your apartment was quiet, you were too buzzed to speak and Chan was focused on driving.

Chan smiled softly, glancing at you. "Wasn't so bad was it?"

You took a moment before you spoke. "Did you mean what you said?"

Chan's brows furrowed, "About what?"

"Did you actually think of me like that after the dinner?" You looked at him.

Chan sucked a breath, squeezing the wheel. "Would you believe me if I said yes."

"I don't have a reason not to."

Chan pulled off the highway onto the smaller road that lead through the city and to your apartment.

"Well?" You asked.

Chan bit his lip and nodded. "I meant what I said."

You remained quiet until he pulled into your apartment complex. And even after he got you into your apartment. You stood there, looking at... Chan. Chan who knew you better than you knew yourself, Chan who always calmed you down, Chan who got angry for you, Chan who bought you food when you were sad and held you until you grew tired of it(you never did you never could), Chan your...

"You meant it?" You were completely sober now, picking up the conversation as if you hadn't been silent for the past half hour.

Chan nodded.

"Is that all there is to it?"

"No." he breathed, stepping closer to you.

"Tell me. What else?" You asked quietly.

"How do I even begin?" He laughed slightly. "I'm sorry-"

"Why are you apologizing?" You looked at him confused.

"For not telling you how I felt from the get go." he smiled, "If there's anything that makes me sleep at night it's you, if there's any place I feel safe it's with you. You make me more happy than I can describe with words alone, there isn't another person I'd be with in any life." He reached and caressed your cheek. "I wanted to fight myself when I let you go out with Seokmin. I want you, I need you, I..." He paused, scanning your face for a signal, any sign to keep going.

"You're going to shut up now when you're at the climax of your speech?" You laughed slightly.

He smiled and rolled his eyes, "I love you. I always have."

"You're really an idiot." You kissed him gently.

Chan blinked in shock. "I-"

You smiled, proud of yourself. "Now-"

Chan grabbed your face and pressed his lips to yours again, you stared for a moment before relaxing into the kiss wrapping your arms around his neck. His tongue fighting yours before he pushed into your mouth to taste you, biting your lip gently.

"Wanted to do that for so long." He breathed against your lips, pulling away slowly.

You grabbed his collar. "If you don't finish what you started I will."

Chan's eyes widened and a smirk grew on his face. He kissed you again and his hand moved to the back of your dress. "May I, princess?"

"You may." You giggled as he removed the dress and your made quick work of his buttons before he shrugged off the jacket and shirt, picking you up and carrying you to the bed.

You squeaked as he threw you onto the bed and got on top you. "Nervous?" he asked laughing lightly.

"No... Of course not." You said looking away.

He smiled and turned your head to face him kissing you passionately before he moved to suck a dark mark just next to your jaw. "So pretty, just for me."

You gasped softly and nodded. "Just for you Channie." Chan continued his assault on your neck before removing your bra and smiling at your chest, he kissed your lips gently. "This is my favorite part of you," He moved to kiss your chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth and biting gently, relishing in the cry that escaped your lips, "But this is second best."

You blushed, "Stop doing that?"

"Doing what?" Chan chuckled against your right breast, pinching the left.

"You-"

"Huh?" He kissed down your belly and bit hard beside your belly button.

"Ow-" You gasped and grabbed his hair.

"Gotta make sure they know you're taken if you wear a crop top." he murmured and moved lower kissing your thigh and pulling your legs apart. "This is mine hm? I think I waited for it long enough." He kissed your thigh before pulling your pantie off. He tossed it haphazardly over his shoulder. He took amount to admire you and you shifted slightly.

"Channie. You're staring." You muttered.

"That a problem princess?"

"Pervert." You rolled your eyes as Chan tugged you to the edge fo the bed.

He rubbed your clit with his thumb applying just enough pressure to make you moan, he smiled. "That feel good?"

You nodded, panting.

"Use your words." He said rubbing your clit a bit faster.

You moaned and tried to move away but his hand came to hold you down. "No, no."

You blushed, "Meanie."

He smirked kissing your belly before slipping a finger into you. You moan as your wall clenched around his digit, he moved it in and out slowly, thumb still working at your clit.

You gasped and bit your lip as he pushed another finger into you. He paused looking at you.

"What?" You tried to move for friction but he held you down.

"I want to hear you."

You blushed furiously, eyes wide.

Chan laughed lightly and started fingering you again, his middle and ring finger curling to find your g-spot.

You let out a loud cry and Chan smiled, he moved to kiss you, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, he started grinding his palm into your clit as his fingers moved deeper. You moaned into the kiss and squealed, legs kicking slightly. Chan slid a third finger into you and you squirmed.

"It's too much!" You whined.

"I think you can take it." He said kissing your neck, "Just a little bit more, princess, wanna feel you cum on my hand."

You moaned louder as he pinched your nipple, sucking on the other one. You gasped as he started grinding his tented crotch against your thigh.

"Are you going to cum for me?" he cooed into your ear. "Cum for me, please, princess."

You moaned loudly as you came hard on Chan's hand.

He hummed and lifted his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean before leaning to kiss you. "You taste good babygirl." He stood to remove his pants letting them fall to the floor.

You moaned at the lewdness of the action as Chan moved between your legs, tapping his cock against your clit.

"I'm gonna make you feel good, make you mine." He said, his voice thick with lust.

You bit your lip and nodded. "Please. "

Chan smiled kissing you gently as he pushed into you.

A throaty moan erupted from your throat and Chan groaned. "Sound so pretty," He pulled out slowly and pushed in deeply, you cried out at the slight burn. "I'm sorry baby," He kissed your cheeks gently. "Can I move now?"

You nod and before you could ground yourself Chan was pistoning into you, fucking you as if he wouldn't get to again. You held onto him tightly, clawing at his broad shoulders. He moaned and squeezed your hips tightly. "You're so tight princess."

He moaned softly against your neck, kissing and biting, leaving marks that would surely become hickeys by morning, as he rutted into you over and over. You moaned louder, panting into the heated kisses he granted you. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall with the force of it all, the sound of sin slapping against skin filling your bedroom, you were positive the neighbors could hear but it wasn't like you had room to care.

Chan's hand slipped between your bodies and he began rubbing your clit. "C'mon baby. Cum for me again."

Your mouth fell open in a silent cry as he began thrusting into you harder, hitting your g-spot.

"Cum for me princess." He said through grit teeth.

Another thrust sent you toppling over the edge and you came hard, vision going white as you let out a broken cry. Chan followed quickly, his thick length throbbing inside you as you milked him for everything he had. He kept thrusting his gaze distant and glassy.

You whimpered and trembled as he overstimulated you slightly. After a few more thrusts he finally slowed down and relaxed on top of you.

"Let me take you out on a date..." He muttered against your shoulder.

"I'd like that." You said running your fingers through his curly hair.

What da cringe ending 😭 I really want to thank everyone for 100 followers LOVE YALL <3 requests will reopen soon, I'm still busy with school but I hoped you liked this it took really long to make.

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matchaelette · 6 months

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when jungkook is leaving and none of you know what to do with yourselves

summary: idol!jk and oc!ash (her name is ash, cz I couldn't think of anything else & Y/N makes me physically cringe), established relationship, jungkook is leaving for military enlistment and they are just spending the last moments together, jimin cameo ;)

genre: fluff, bit angsty, idol au

warnings: again, jungkook going through the whole enlistment procedure, suggestive, oc cries a lott but hey, everyone of us is crying

words: 3.5k

note: it had to be done. I needed to write about this. I'm not functioning straight and I wrote this in a mood where I felt very drained and emotionless so it might show up in the writing....? also, this is concerning-ly unedited. anyways enjoy, feedback is always appreciated <3

you've lost count of how many times you've cried this whole month.

ever since you could walk, talk, and form conscious thoughts, you've noticed that every feeling you've had and tried to express comes out as tears. yes, you're angry, oh my god mom, I wanna shake your shoulders and tell you to believe your daughter for once and not somebody else, but you're silent and you're crying; you've been memorizing every single thing for this presentation and you swear by your future first newborn baby that every word is engraved in your brain, just say the words, people don't care what you fucking say you just need to say something, but you're silent, your legs are shaking on the stage and you think you're crying; you love him, you love this human being staring at you from between your legs with all the love in this whole fucking universe, kind and whole and happy and real, jeon jungkook, you love him so fucking say it, but all you can do is caress his face and let the silent tears cascade down yours.

yes, ever since the beginning of time, all your emotions and feelings have been coming out as tears.

sometimes you think that spending all your teen years bottling up everything because of a mean father and an angry mother messed you up for good. all your life you've hated yourself for crying so easily, especially when in front of other people, feeling so weak and broken all the time. but you didn't think much anymore, at least not as much as you used to overthink when you were younger, scared of fellow high-schoolers, scared of what people think about you. after you've met jungkook, your sweet jungkook, he has shown you that crying doesn't necessarily mean you're weak. maybe you were just sensitive and that was alright, because you've always cried when you felt too much, made you more of a genuine human than everyone else. his words, not yours.

but it did feel good to hear and you didn't know what you've done to deserve it.

you also remember that every time you've hated yourself for crying, you always found solace in the fact that maybe someday it would all run out and you'd be perpetually free from all of it, the childish thoughts of a child.

however, even though you laughed at those thoughts every time you remembered them, you were now convinced of how wrong you were to think that maybe the tears would run out someday if you cried too much. because you've been crying continuously this month, more than you've cried your entire life, and by god, not only have the tears not dried out but also, it just keeps coming more and more if possible.

you choke out once again as you bury your face in jungkook's shoulder, clutching the front of his shirt as he tightens his grip around your waist. he looks at you helplessly, not knowing what to do anymore, because no amount of words or actions could stop you from crying. he knows he has tried it all.

you force yourself to get a grip, rubbing your face on jungkook's already wet shirt to dry your wet cheeks, and look up at the blurry distance in front of you, resting your cheeks against the place you've been hiding. jungkook stands there, one arm wrapped around you and one arm around his mother, with a little smile that keeps blooming at the sight in front of him seeing his jimin hyung hug and bid goodbye to his family, despite all the heartbreak in the air.

he tightens his grip around you and leans down to kiss his mother's head, who is in a state identical to you but still more graceful and elegant than you could ever be. "it's gonna be okay, you two", he whispers, causing his mother to gently smile and take your hands as you let out yet another sniff at his words. as sad and worried as she was at her son's departure, she couldn't help but feel worried for you too, her motherly nature reaching out towards you in a way you never felt from your own mother.

"I will be okay", she smiles at you in a teasing manner, despite her glassy eyes, "but the question is, will your girlfriend be okay?"

"h-hey!", your voice shook as an unintentional smile replaced the frown, "stop teasing me, maa", you whine.

"I am not teasing you, dear. honestly, come live with me for a few days. come to busan. I'll take care of you"

"if you keep saying that, I'll really turn into a parasite and stay in your house forever, maa"

jungkook giggles at your conversation, happy that the most important two women in his life got along so well. and you did, ever since the day you've met his mother. she loved you as her own daughter, as did his father, and made you feel so loved and comfortable that even your antisocial ass loved to spend time with them, making you visit them frequently, with and without jungkook by your side.

jungkook's mother lets go of her son and glides into her husband's arm, who looks at jungkook with pride. after all who wouldn't be proud of this talented, lovely, hardworking boy? jungkook was your boyfriend, and your best friend before your relationship upgraded into something more, and a lot of words came to your mind when you thought of him. but the first word has to be proud. proud that he became the man he is now, proud of who he was and every single version of him, how humble and kind and caring he is, always making everyone around him feel loved and respected. proud of how your friendship managed to stay so strong after all this time, proud how he is trying his best to get through these 18 months without any toll in your relationship.

jungkook hasn't shed a single tear yet, holding you through nights when you decided to be a mood killer, couldn't help thinking that soon he wouldn't be able to hold you like this. you were so far rooted in the future of the enlistment process that you forgot to live the present. you were a mess, shaking and sobbing ever so often, frustrated at hybe, frustrated at the whole lot of bts for taking a decision like this, frustrated at the south korean government, frustrated at jungkook for not being frustrated at how hysterical you've been acting.

jungkook, instead, has been a constant pillar of support. he has been constantly kissing your tears away, pushing his fears away of how you guys might not last through this calamity, reassuring you more than him that it will be alright. and as much as you wish he would express his own feelings instead of tending yours, you were glad that the boy didn't cry because it was all that was holding you back from getting onto your knees and begging him not to go. you couldn't do that to him, couldn’t do that to his happiness because you knew he would've obliged to your wishes, somehow, and break his own heart. he would do anything for you. he has been continuously proving that, after all.

"how is ash holding up?", jimin asks jungkook as he takes a sip of his soju, not feeling drunk enough despite the few bottles of alcohol he has drank. the point of the night was to spend time with each other, jungkook, him, and taehyung, getting wasted and having fun like old days. namjoon was supposed to join them as well, but he was overseas on schedule. taehyung, on the other hand, was already passed out on the couch, but it might have to do less with his low alcohol tolerance and more with his tiredness after landing in seoul from france just a few hours ago, after quite a hectic fashion week. so, it was jimin and jungkook now, them and their alcoholic asses against the whole world. after all, no one could hold their liquor like them in the whole group.

"she is, well, I honestly don’t know", jungkook frowned, a drop of soju ran down his lips to his black sweatshirt but he didn’t seem to notice, "she is totally ignoring that I have to leave and acting completely normal."

"sounds like her. isn't running from her problems her best coping mechanism?". you were close with all the members in the group, and the rest of them considered you as their little sister as well (even though taehyung jokingly called you noona sometimes) but if there was one member who knew the best, it had to be park jimin. he was your best friend after jungkook and the time you spent together, whether be it gossiping or shopping, was always something both of you found therapeutic and cherished from the bottom of your hearts.

a silent pain erupts in jungkook's heart as he finally voices out the thought he has been continuously having for the last few days, "hyung, should I break up with her?"

"yah jeon jungkook", jimin smacks the back of the younger boy's head, looking at him with shock, "are you that drunk already?"

"I don’t-", jungkook chokes out the next few words incoherently, and jimin had to physically shift closer to the boy to make sense of his words, "I don’t know what to do. I-I don’t know how to live without her. I want her all to myself and I selfishly want to ask her to wait for me. but how can I do that when she could have a much better life without me?"

"jungkookie-"

"she could fall in love with someone better than me. fuck, saying it out loud infuriates me but I know that she could be happier, way happier than I can ever make her. you see what I am doing? I am leaving the girl I love to protect my career, to make sure nobody has anything else left to guilt trap us with. I am doing all of this for myself. how selfish does that make me?"

"you keep forgetting that you don't have a choice, jungkookie."

"then why does it all feel like my fault?"

"what are we going to do?"

the words escape your lips without meaning to. they hang like a whisper in the air as your bodies slowly recover from the high they have been through, limbs tangled and eyes closed, forehead resting against each other.

"are we gonna be alright?"

yes, jungkook wants to say, yes because if you decide to stay, I will make it all work, I will make it all okay, I promise. but how can I ask you to stay when it will only hurt you?

"do you want to… maybe… break up?", his vacant voice makes your eyes fly open in bewilderment, not being able to believe that he actually said the words that he said. all this time both of you have been ignoring the pink elephant in the room, only almost two months left before jungkook left for the military enlistment along with namjoon, jimin, and taehyung. you’ve been trying to enjoy what little time both of you had despite your busy schedules, especially jungkook, who has been working tirelessly to make his fans feel a little less lonely when he won't be present anymore. something to hold on to while I am gone, I hope you can stay within this magic shop we've build together, memories of me would console you like the gentlest breeze of a fall evening, I will yet again patch something I haven’t broken.

but one of you had to be strong enough to address it, this overwhelming dread and the constant need to be with each other, ignoring sleep and every other basic need because you knew your time was coming to an end. you needed to address it and needed to be assured that both of you can get through this, your love was way stronger than these 18 months.

but that's the first thing he wants to say?

the way he looks at you breaks your heart. he has a small smile on his face and you can tell that it is genuine, that he is taking one last moment to cherish all of you if you decided to say yes. but there is almost an unbearing sadness behind his eyes, pained and tortured, begging you to say no.

your voice is almost comical when you actually find it, "jeon jungkook, do you want me to fucking kill you?"

and his immediate reaction is almost laughable. you could see his shoulders drop with relief. he buries his face in your neck and drops all of his weight on top of you, holding you in a way that immediately blocks out all the bad things and forces you to focus on him and him only.

you laugh, "you're quite heavy, babyboy"

"deal with it", comes out his muffled reply, as he forces you down on the soft mattress with his bare body, almost an attempt to bury you, and you choke out yet another laugh at his antics, tightening your legs around his waist and running your hands through his fluffy hair. I refuse to believe that it will all be gone soon.

"you haven't said anything. anything at all", he says quietly.

its sad that you know what he is talking about.

"I didn’t know what to say", you reply softly, careful that your voice doesn't shake. he doesn't need to see how you break every time you remember that he is going to leave, which you've been remembering an awful lot these days. no, you need to be strong, for him and for you. after all, you have already survived months away from each other, during tours and comebacks, thanks to both of your careers.

"we have survived before. it's not something new for us. we can do it again", you whisper against his jaw, gulping down the tears threatening to break free. only this time, it's 18 fucking months, and the unspoken words hang into the air.

"you didn't even shed a single tear", jungkook lifts his face and looks at you accusingly, knowing very well that you're a crybaby, "it keeps feeling like you don’t care."

your eyes widen at his words and it feels like a punch to your gut but you can’t say you're surprised. you have been acting indifferent to put up a strong front, and now that you look back, you may have overdone it from time to time. you were never a good actor.

you never understood why it always felt like this, every time you hide your problems from someone to not bother them, and always feel like a shipwreck when they actually fail to notice.

"jungkook, love", you trace his cheeks with your fingertips, his cute chubby cheeks, his lips, moving to his eyelids the moment he closes his eyes under your touch. you drag your fingertips through his scalp, waterfalls of his hair cascading down when you reach his nape, softly pulling his face closer to kiss the tip of his nose. jungkook, my love, how do I tell you that you mean the world to me and that I am not worried that our relationship isn't as strong enough to fight the course of time but I am sad and I am selfish and I don't know how to survive without feeling your presence for even a single day? how do I tell you that you never have to worry about me leaving but worry about me staying forever and suffocating you? I love you and I don't know what to do with myself, I love you and I don't know who I am without that love. what can I say to make it all better?

"babe, are you crying?"

no, you're not crying. you're sobbing.

"wait wait, I didn't actually ask you to cry—", you can see the panic in his eyes as he pulls both of your bodies up into a sitting position just using one of his hands while the other wipes your cheek off, you on his lap, your thighs straddling his waist, bare torsos flushed against each other. you feel him pulling you into a hug as if your bodies could get any closer than they already are. but instead of being comforted, you sob even louder.

"ash, sweetheart, please don't cry", jungkook wanted to punch himself, regretting the words he spoke earlier. what the hell was he thinking, saying that you didn't cry? he wanted to go back and kick his own ass at the stupidity. why the hell would he want you to cry of all things?

you on the other hand could do nothing except bury your face in your boyfriend's neck, and feel the entirety of him, his body, his scent, his hold on you, his voice so clear in your head, nothing but him until the time runs out. you have been so strong till now, haven't you?

"but you're leaving", he could see now, how much of an idiot he had been thinking that you didn’t care enough just because all you were doing was trying to be tough and get through without this exact moment happening. he could hear the desperation in your choked sobs, he could feel the sadness at his own dam threatening to break. he almost felt angry that after all this time, he was still stupid enough to not see through you.

"and I will be back sweetheart, you know I will be. and then there would be nothing standing between us anymore. nothing. for the rest of our lives", he promises as he lifts your tear-soaked face to look at his own. he looked pained, trying his best to be strong when you were falling apart right in his arms, but you could still see the hope behind his eyes because his promise was real and you knew it.

but once the waterworks begin, it just cannot stop.

there is nothing left to say now. it is time, you realize. the chilly breeze washes over you, and you realize that nothing can make you feel as cold as you will when jungkook gets in that car with jimin. your eyes find each other, mouths desperately looking for words to say, promises, comfort, but what can you say that hasn't already been said?

"I love you", you whisper.

"stay out of trouble, okay?", jungkook kisses your forehead and even with the unstoppable tears leaking out from your eyes, you can't help but shoot him a mischievous glance. you, the god of getting into trouble, staying out of trouble?

jungkook sighs, knowing you a bit too well. after spending years together, he knew well enough that you could never be forced to do something you didn't want to do. you were like a storm, passing through in a way that was your own, wrecking everything in the process. while he loved your bravery and carefree nature, he realized it comes with its consequences. for him, it was constantly worrying about you and never wrongfully so. so, he returns to his last resort to make sure that you will be okay, "do it for me."

"okay that is pure emotional blackma—"

you cannot finish your words because his lips are on yours in a second, abruptly plunging you down a rabbit hole because, god, after all this time you're still not used to it. he smells like fresh laundry and mint, moving carefully because he isn't sure that you will allow him to kiss you like this in front of half the people from his company, his parents, and god knows who else is in the base. but who are you push him away?

you drop all courtesy and kiss him back in a manner that is sure yet gentle, tongue brushing softly against his lips. jungkook obliges and parts his lips, breathe mingling and tongue dancing in harmony as you kiss him with all your might, letting all of him overwhelm all of you one last time.

you let go of each other, breathless yet eyes glued. you trace his face, from his eyes to his cheeks and nose, his shaved head, still as soft as silk under your touch. he kisses your fingers when they reach his lips, smiling gently to remind you that yes, he will be gone, and that will hurt as hell but then again, he will be back.

"go, jimin's waiting", you force out a smile, "and please, for the love of god, choose something normal to do, something that doesn't involve jumping out of an aircraft or—"

"I love you."

".....I know."

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts army #bts jungkook #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagines #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jungkook fanfiction #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan boys #bangtan #park jimin

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targaryen-realness · 2 years

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Witchling chapter 3

Title: Witchling

Pairing: Osferth x Druidess!Reader

Warnings: Canon depiction of violence, mention of slavery, wounds and scars, magic, historical innacuracy (sorry medieval Scotland is not my specialty), talk about faith and christianity. The reader is fem but there is no physical description except for the fact she is a scot from the Highlands. Spoilers for season 3 of the Last Kingdom

Summary: As they are riding away from Winchester, Osferth and Lord Uhtred’s group come across a mysterious woman. She needs help but the power within her is obvious. Captivated, Osferth hopes she will stay, but as Uhtred asks her to travel with them, he cannot help but wonder what is going on in his lord’s head.

Notes: Thank you for the support on this work so far! I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

You dreamed of death. The cries of pain and sadness woke you up, and it took you seconds before you realised this was all in your head. You took your head in your hands trying to collect your thoughts and stop the shivers that travelled through your body.

“Are you alright lady?”

It was Finan and his comforting irish accent that was approaching you. You looked up and found him carrying some bread.

“Had a rough sleep?”

You nodded, simply accepting the food. You did not know if you should tell the truth. Someone had died or was going to die. You knew it. You felt it. The intense pain and fear. The cries of life and death.

“It’s okay. It’s time to get up anyway.”

You understood immediately the reason for your dream. People will die today. You did not approach the top of the wall before Uhtred screamed at you:

“Osferth and you, open the door! Finan, come with me!”

Everything was in shambles as you heard the king behind you. You saw Osferth for the first time since last night and tried to avoid his gaze as much as possible as you made your way to the door.

“Let me do it, go somewhere you’ll be safe,” he said.

You frowned, taken aback by his words. You had known greetings that where more welcoming during your years as a slave.

“We are just opening a door. I think I’ll be fine” you answered with as much pettiness as you could. You did not wait to see his reaction simply grabbing one of the doors and hoping he would do the same on the other side. You were now as close to the danes as you could without being outside the walls. You could hear the cries of terror from the women and children and it made you bite your lip hard, so much you could taste blood. You hated this, death and pain. The way men always choose to abuse the one that could not fend for themselves. You had seen first hand, you had been one.

“They are killing them” you whispered hoping no one could hear.

“They have women and children my lord”, shouted Osferth.

“The gates!” screamed Uhtred

You put yourself in action and opened the gates for the lord and his witch to pass. For a brief moment, your gaze met the one of the blond woman, and you thought you could see the hint of a smile on her face. You watched half hidden behind a guard as the lord negotiated with the dane called Blood hair. His energy, his aura, was as poisoned as Uthred’s. His curse, though, seemed to run deeper. It was now one with his bones, his blood, his very soul. When Uhtred punched the witch in the stomach and she fell down you cringed. You wanted to turn around and leave, not to have to look at this, but you could not. That was until you saw him. Your blood froze and your stomach turned. You could have thrown up on the spot if it wasn’t for the lack of things in your stomach.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”,you heard a voice but was unable to distinguish anything. Because in front of you, behind Sigurd, was Gorn. He looked exactly the same as the last time you saw him. Still as tall and terrifying. You could not move but thankfully you were well hidden behind the guard. Him seeing you would probably kill you on the spot. You felt arms shaking you and as if you just had fainted and regained consciousness you emerged from the fog of your own mind. Osferth looked worried and he was holding you close to his tall and lean body.

“He is here” you simply said, scared to say more.

He did not seem to understand but kept you close, shielding you from the view of others.

“It’s okay”, he said, his voice calm and soothing, “no one is going to hurt you”

And for a brief moment, you believed him. You find yourself seated, a very concerned Osferth fussing over you. He had given you water, asked if you wanted something to eat, or if you needed to lie down. You did not need any of these things. You needed to go back home, back to Alba, back to your parents house. The safety and comfort of a known place, this was what you needed. What you wanted though, was probably different. You wanted them dead. All of them.

“The man behind Blood hair. He was one of the men who kept me-”, your voice cracked. You saw a torrent of emotions cross his face and tears almost started rolling on your cheeks. Someone called for the both of you, but the voice seemed far away. Osferth gently led you inside. Lord Uhtred was speaking with the king, everyone surrounding them. You could not pay attention, so you just stood next to him in a dark corner of the room. You were grabbing his robes hard, trying to peak around his shoulder. The atmosphere was tense, and as you looked around you did not miss the side look of Osferth toward his father. You clenched your hand tighter and he seemed to feel it. He did not look at you but you felt his hand grab yours. Your skin against his had you blushing, but you found comfort in it. Way more than you should have.

When Finan left, you prayed for him to return safely and to find the mercians easily but when you found yourself on a horse next to Osferth and lord Uhtred, you started to pray for yourself. The adrenaline was pumping in your veins, making you forget about Gorn being somewhere in these woods. You needed to leave and with a bit of help from the gods, you would reach your goal safely. You rode until you reached Fearham. It was empty. No Finan and no army. Osferth looked like he shared your doubts because he immediately said:

“Is this the place lord? Is this Fearham?”

But almost as soon as the words left his mouth you could feel something happening. Finan was here, he was approaching, and the mercians with him. You smiled and looked at Uhtred who seemed to understand.

“Perhaps Finan did not make the journey.

-He did” you simply answered.

The moment you pronounced those words, Finan emerged from the top of the hill, the soldiers just behind. You did not miss the look of Sihtric and even less the one of Osferth. You did not wait for the fight to start and you made your way up the hill to join a woman with Osferth and Skade. As the sun was slowly appearing from behind you, you all watched the battle unfurl. The danes had the numbers, but the saxons had the advantage of the site. The fight was violent and deadly. Plenty of soldiers died, slayed by the blades of the enemy. Finally it was clear the saxon army had taken the advantage, and it only became clearer when you saw Blood hair, and even Gorn ride away like cowards.

“Do not yield Blood hair.” you heard Skade say.

For a second you pitied her but then you just said:

“Seemed like your master has definitely abandoned you this time”

She looked at you and you holded her gaze.

“We’ll see how that mouth works when Gorn will get you back.

-I’ll slit his throat before it happens.”

She probably saw in your eyes how serious you were, because she did not answer. Osferth was looking at you and you simply nodded at him. The victory was not celebrated for long as you and the rest of Alfred’s men all rode back to Winchester. You wished you could have been happy like the others, but the weird feelings of death you felt during the night did not disappear. You had thought that this dream had been about the hostages, even the battle. The feeling did not leave you, even when you slept a little this night. You were having the same dream, except this time you could hear the screams more distinctly. It was a woman. You woke up sweating and in pain. You could not explain it but you knew something was wrong. You wanted to say something, tell Uhtred that something was going on, but you did not want to spoil the happiness of everyone. You could feel the joy of Uhtred and Sihtric especially, as they were about to return to their wives and children. You kept quiet. Osferth had not said a thing about the events of a few days prior, he offered you polite smiles and when his pretty eyes fell on you, you could feel your heart beat faster. The casual conversations he initiated, just to make you feel less isolated you presumed, were the highlights of those days on the road. You had met a lot of men in your life, some you had loved from fraternal and deep love, and some other you had hated with a passion that could burn. None had ever made you feel like you did now. Which made the distance between you even more painful. You almost regretted having a horse of your own now, missing the feeling of his body. You felt like a lunatic, having thoughts like this about someone you barely knew. You probably were just starving for affection, having forgotten what gentle touches and genuine kindness felt like. You felt selfish for a moment but even that feeling of guilt did not stop the warm feeling in your chest. A question remained though. Once at Winchester, what would you do? You obviously could not leave just yet. You had made a promise to Uhtred that you would find a way to break his curse, but you knew that once in Winchester you won’t be able to do so. You needed nature, and time. Maybe you could sneak out with Finan or Sihtric outside of the walls to perform your ritual.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost” said Sihtric, his horse walking next to yours.

You had not talked much with him but he seemed like a good person. He was a fierce warrior, you had seen it first hand but there was more to him, in his eyes you could see it.

“I feel like something bad is going to happen. I can’t explain it.”

He looked at you for a moment and said:

“I always had doubts about seers, you know. I grew up amongst danes and I feel guided by the gods every day, but I did not believe for a long time that some people could see things that had happened or were going to happen. Then I lived and saw for myself that, indeed, some people could see things that I could not fathom” he marked a pause and directed his gaze in front of you.

“You knew Finan was going to come back with an army, didn’t you?

-I could feel it, when we were on that hill. Seeing the future, it’s not my specialty. I used to heal people, back at home. That’s what I do best. But I have been having dreams. Of someone dying. A woman,I think, that I do not know. I just did not want to ruin everyone's happiness.

-Are you sure it is that type of dream?”

You wish you could be sure, but the truth is that it could be anything. A reminiscence of your past, of the trauma and pain you had endured.

“I can’t say with certainty. But-

-But you still think it is.

-Yes”

He simply nodded at you, words obviously still unsaid. You did not press him to talk more, feeling like he had already said enough. You stayed silent until you reached Winchester and the joyous cries of the crowd. Winchester was bigger than you had expected, and there were way more people you thought there would be. This joy was contagious, as you started to smile despite the uneasy feeling that had made his nest in your heart. You were just behind the king and his son, and this is how you saw the very specific moment where everything went to shred. You saw Uhtred get off his horse, his triumphal look soon whipped away, leaving room for confusion and panic. He walked away to find a blond woman standing, waiting for him. You understood immediately when you saw the young babe in the arms of another one behind them. A cry of death and life. You closed your eyes, trying to contain the tears as your heart settled in that deep pit of sadness. Useless, powerless, that was what you were. You did not miss the reaction of Finan and even more the one of Sihtric. The man looked at you and you met his eyes. You could not decipher his expression but he could see yours clearly. You looked around you, lost, and you met the eyes of Osferth, incomprehension written on his features. Just next to him, it was Skade that was looking at you. She knew too. She had known for a long time, and like you, she had been useless.

No one said anything, because there was nothing to be said. You did not say anything to Uthred about your dream because what good would it have done? He needed to grieve, but first he needed to honour his wife. It was Finan that told you that Gisela was a pagan just like you. They still had the nerve to bury her in christian land, which you found insulting. At first you had the intention of staying inside the house and not say a word but it was Uhtred himself that called for you. You followed without a word. There was that same woman that you recognised from earlier. Her name was apparently Hild, and she was an Abbess at Winchester. A close friend of Uhtred, enough so that she had cared for his children since their mother’s death. You had simply nodded at her and walked with them toward the cemetery. You let her ask for her lord’s forgiveness before Finan and Uhtred started digging. You stayed silent, not knowing why exactly you were here. The moment was moving, full of sorrow and regrets. Everything felt heavy, like the air was weighting on you now, trying to put you underground with the other corpses. The body of Gisela was soon put on a pyre, Uhtred ready to light it.

“Could you-”

His voice cracked but you understood immediately. You came closer, taking the torch from Finan’s hands and you started. The songs of the druidess were famous even all the way down here, so far away from Alba. Even without music, you could feel the energy of nature all around you. They were mourning her too. As your voice elevated in the sky, you closed your eyes, and nodded at Uhtred. You put the torch near the base of the pyre and felt it catch on fire. You did not stop singing. The air was lighter but still full of sadness. But Gisela was going where she was supposed to. Even if she did not believe in the exact same gods you did, she would be welcome there, as their daughter. She would return to nature, to start a new life. Maybe she would even cross the sea all the way to the lands of the immortals. Maybe she will find peace with her ancestors. As you opened your eyes again, to see her remains flying high in the night sky, you thought it was beautiful. She was finally returning to her rightful place after being deprived from it for long enough. You ended the song, your melodious voice resounding all around you. In the language of your ancestors you wished her a good and safe journey, and stepped away. You had not looked around you while you were singing, only watching the dance of the flames, but now you saw how Finan and Abbess Hild’s eyes were on you. Uthred had his head low, but you could see his tears. He looked at you briefly and you simply offered a smile of compassion and understanding. Her soul was safe.

“The gods will welcome her, she is where she is supposed to be now”

You were calm, calmer than you had been in a while. Reconnecting with that part of yourself, even in the saddest way possible, was still appreciated. Finan looked like he was on the verge of tears. Even his christian soul had been moved by your song, the song of his people, that was a part of him as well. Abbess Hild looked sad as well. She did not say a thing, but you could see it in her eyes. Gisela had been a friend, and she too, was suffering. It was the noise of Uhtred’s sobs that distracted you. You approached him, your hand taking his. He looked at you, an expression of surprise on his face but he didn’t say a thing. Abbess Hild took his other hand, and Finan put his on Uhtred’s shoulder. And just like this you waited, until the fire was no more, having taken everything from Gisela.

#the last kingdom #osferth x reader #osferth the last kingdom #finan the last kingdom #sihtric #the last kingdom fanfic #reader insert #witch reader #uhtred of bebbanburg #uhtred the last kingdom

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octahyde · 2 months

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ocxcanon cringe

It’s OC X Canon week on Twitter and idk if I’m gonna do it and if I do it’ll take months and none of it will be posted anyways but i thought I’d post and give a rundown of my ships hi

(picrew used)

I don’t have many but I’m putting them under a cut just because that’s easier

Yuzuki X Wren- Story of Seasons: Trio of Towns

The YuzuWren… my everything… I made them in 2020 because that was the year I started really getting into making OCs and finally played 3oT after being hesitant and skipping out when it came out due to how badly the concept of multiple villages was implemented last time. (Thank FUCK Marvelous learned from tott. Anyways) Especially because during the time of playing the file, I realized I had been repressing some horrific, horrific trauma of something that happened to me. They’re what got me through it and I ended up getting a solid 100 hours through their file!

Wren is a trans man. Along with his interest in farming, Daryl refused to accept him as a man. Gay Uncle Frank took him in not only to help get started with farming, but also to help him with transitioning. (As a side note I did not realize Wren starting to transition when he moved to his farm meant he was getting his hrt top and phallo from fucking Ford until months later and felt so FUCKING sorry for him.) (Another side note- Daryl refuses to accept Wren’s transness even after he becomes “proud” of his farm and hopes he’ll grow out of it, Marlena is happy to see how well her “daughter” is doing, and Lynn is genuinely really supportive but rarely gets to see him because of how she’s still young and lives with their parents.)

When Wren first visits Tsuyukusa, he starts helping out Omiyo and Umekichi whenever he had down time to make things a little easier for them. Obviously, this lead to occasionally checking in on Yuzuki as well. Wren got interested in Yuzuki’s jewelry early on and started trying to make more time to talk to him. From being sexually harassed from being so frail and feminine looking in his childhood, Yuzuki was very empathetic to Wren- he’s cis and he can’t possibly imagine how much harder they were for Wren having that his entire life. Finding out Yuzuki was also the unfavorite child to a significantly more horrific degree than Wren was likewise made Wren more sympathetic to him.

Anyways they get married and have gay sex and live an r/childfree life because I have having kids in these games LMAO can you tell they’re my darling yaoi

Mistel X Roland- Story of Seasons (3DS)

I started this file a while ago but recently got back to it!! And doubled the hours I had on it before in a week. Uh.

Roland was a born and raised city boy who always hated how busy the city was. He always loved growing his own vegetables on his apartment balcony and, eventually after doing research on agriculture, decided he’d do best on a farm. When a lot opened up in Oak Tree Town, home of his favorite writer, he couldn’t refuse and set out immediately. Indeed, it wasn’t long before Roland started visiting Iris regularly to talk about literature with her. Mistel, the autistic little freak he is, got curious about Roland very fast and kept attacking him with questions every time he came to talk with his sister. Roland found it incredibly annoying and started giving Mistel little presents when he visited to satiate him while he talked to Iris. This backfired, however, as it only got Mistel even more fixated on him and made him start prodding at Roland even more than he did before. Worst of all, Roland was beginning not only to not mind it, but also starting to enjoy it! At some point, he started visiting less for Iris and more for Mistel. Not that he had a crush on him. He’d never admit he had a crush on him. Eventually Mistel beat him too the punch and asked him out, and that’s where my file currently is!! Very excited to get to when he’s disproportionally hornier than every other LI in the entire series LMFAO

IdiYume- Twisted Wonderland

This one is really REALLY embarrassing for me because I haven’t done romantic yume/self ships since like… middle school

My sona is a catch all one I made a few years ago; Beatrice “Trixie”/“Trix” Hart. Normally I use her/him to terrorize anime boys platonically (she was first created to be an assistant to Klavier Gavin in Ace Attorney, and I think it shows with the name LMAO), but as I got more into the series and read Book 6, I Needed to kiss Idia Shroud and used him for this as well. His name stays the same minus the nickname because, well, I’m a trans dude keeping his gendered birth name lol.

He’s a second year Pomefiore bnuuy beastman at NRC and is BFFs with Cater. Him and Idia vaguely know each other, but generally dislike each other. Online, though, he’s Idia’s favorite vtuber and ok this is too embarrassing for me sorry JDKDWKKFSKFB

I prefer them a lot after NRC, though- I view them as both being transhet (because I am transhet. bye). Idia’s boymoding at NRC, and Trix is girlmoding quite literally everywhere except the all male school he goes to. After they graduate, they start transitioning together. Its a very very intimate experience for both as they support each other through everything.

This picrew is them 10 years post NRC when they’re fully transitioned because that’s usually what I think about with them. :) They’re very happy and love each other and their 3 cats and their younger brother and his 2 dogs.

Chenya X Beau Rhodes-Twisted Wonderland

My most recent ocxcanon ship and the one I have the least amount of development on because there’s so little known about RSA and Chenya is only allowed out of RSA Jail every now and then for enrichment. Beau is twisted from the rose from Beauty and the Beast! He also grew up in the Queendom of Roses, but a different part than Chenya Trey and Riddle. Him and Chenya were roommates their first year at RSA. Beau is very mature and committed to his work and studies in floral arrangement, in contrast to Chenya who’s. Well. Chenya. They end up balancing each other out; Chenya helps Beau lighten up, and Beau has better luck than most convincing Chenya to stop fucking around when he needs to.

The biggest aspect, to their dynamic, however, is something else.

I think NRC is one giant cringe compilation to RSA. They love hearing about the insane things that happen there. And, well, Chenya is childhood friends with the most ridiculous human being ever born, Riddle Rosehearts. And also Trey Clover, man who has spent his entire life being in love with the most ridiculous human being ever born, Riddle Rosehearts. Beau and Trey met as first years from Chenya introducing them, but whenever Riddle came up there was a silent “dude just wait until you meet this guy next year.” Beau didn’t know what he expected but Riddle met all of them.

Chenya does convince him to go to an unbirthday party with him though. Eventually. And he surprisingly does have a great time. That doesn’t stop the “I’ve had to listen to him talk about being in love with this guy for 8 years dude” conversations though.

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ladyescapism · 8 months

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The Fourth Archer Sister - Part 2

summary: the baby of the family, Deirdre Archeron, is growing up and finding herself. on place she has already found is in a unknowingly requited crush with a certain shadow singer. will they be able to find each other? or will expectations, honor, and other forces get in the way?

Part 1

Part 3

a/n: we got some dual pov going on here! hope you enjoy!

warnings: none, I think

wc: 1,400

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Azriel winnowed out of that hallway as soon as the door shut behind him.

Did he seriously just insinuate to Dierdre, little Deirdre Archeron, baby of the family, female he had known since she was a mere 17 years old, that asking him for sex was an option?

Yes, yes he did.

And if he didn’t hate himself enough already, he couldn’t get the look on her face the moment she realized what he said and before she got embarrassed and probably a little sacred.

The way her big, blue eyes widened. The way her lips parted as her breath got faster. The way she had to tilt her head to look him in the eye. It made him think of very compromising posit-

No! No, you’re not doing this again, not with another Archeron sister.

He cringed as the thoughts of masturbating to the image of Elain came back to him. Gods, what was wrong with him.

He felt the tightening in his chest and in his balls, though he was a master at ignoring both sensations.

He decided to try and sleep tonight instead of going to train like he usually did. He was actually tired for once and training while semi-hard was never fun.

The next morning was fun, per usual. Marking another year that the brothers pounded each other with snow in the most affectionate way possible. It was the time in the sauna that Cassian made difficult.

“Did D talk to you any last night?”

“We made conversation.”

“She’s been off lately,” Cassian mused. “I can’t explain it. Maybe everything with Elain getting married and moving to the Day Court and Nesta getting pregnant is overwhelming her?”

He looked at Azriel.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. Deirdre didn’t say anything about being upset about the recent changes in her family, but it’s not like they are close.

“You sure?” entered a new voice.

Azriel turned his head as Rhys gave him a pointed look. His tone was friendly, his gaze was not.

He could hear the silent message. ‘Don’t start messing around with another Archeron sister, especially giving the shit show that you caused when you messed with Elain.’

“Maybe she needs a boyfriend,” Cassian said, trying to defuse the tension in the sauna. “Do we know any males good enough for her that we can set her up with?”

Nausea roiled in Azriel’s gut as he pictured Deirdre with another male. Kissing him, making lov-

Nope not going to go there, not today at least.

“No,” Rhys mused. “Maybe we can get Mor to play match maker. She would love it.”

“Probably.”

His brothers continued on as Azriel tried to sort himself out.

You have no claim to her, he scolded to himself. She is a young, beautiful female but she is also your sister-in-law, that you have known since she was a child. You just need to get laid. That’s all. Go into town and find a willing female to fuc-

“Did you hear me?” Cassian said, jostling his shoulder.

Azriel shook his head no.

“You and D are always ignoring me when I try to talk. Anyways, do you think we should try and find a decent Illyrian male to set her up with or someone in town?”

“Don’t try to set her up with anyone,” he nearly growled. “She’ll find love in her own time.”

Even though the thought of Deirdre with another male made him irrationally angry, he did want to see her happy.

“Alright, I’ll give it up for now,” Cassian said, amused at Azriel’s reaction.

But he was already lost in memories of when he saw Deirdre truly happy. She was always smiling at everyone. Most of the time, the smiles went to her eyes, because she was the type of person to be happy or grateful when the smallest things happen. But when she really smiled, she smiled with her whole face. Her eyes lit up, her teeth bared, and her nose scrunched.

He had seen that smile exactly three times in the years that he’s known her: when Feyre returned from the Spring Court, when she made the uphill walk from Palace of Thread and Jewels to the River House without breaks or assistance, and when she held Nyx for the first time.

Should he be jealous of a baby getting smiled at? No. Was he? Yes. Was he going to rot in hell? Absolutely.

DEIRDRE

These visits used to just be Deirdre and Feyre, but Nesta joined in once she discovered she was pregnant to commiserate with Feyre. Due to never having any experience with the subject, she was normally just an observer.

“Have you discussed names yet,” Feyre asked her sister.

“Endlessly,” she sighed. “But to no avail. Everything Cassian wants is too plain or common for my taste but everything I want, I quote, ‘is going to get them made fun of.’”

“Illyrians place a lot of importance on a child’s name,” Feyre explained. “They want to name to channel a trait that they want the child to have. That’s why so many traditional Illyrian names mean ‘strong’ or ‘brave’ or something similar.”

“You should do a music related name,” Deirdre suggested. “You know because your mate bond clicked in after he gave you that Symphonia.”

“I like the idea, but I can’t think of any non-basic names that have something to do with music,” Nesta, much to Deirdre’s surprise, agreed.

“What do you think of the name ‘Cana’,” Deirdre offered. “It was the name of this priestess who was world-renowned for her musical ability. Musicians, dancers, and other performers from all over would seek her out gain her blessing. It’s unique but has a strong meaning. But it would only be for a girl, of course.”

Nesta considered it for a moment and nodded her head.

“Oh, she’s a girl alright,” Cassian shouted from the foyer.

“I though you two wanted to wait to find out the gender.”

“We are,” Nesta said. “This one is just certain that the babe is a girl.”

“Father’s intuition,” he gloated.

Rhys waltzed in; face flushed from the cold. As he leaned over to give Feyre a kiss, Deirdre looked towards the foyer in search of Azriel.

“He’s gone up to the roof to get away from us,” Cassian told her, knowing who she was looking for. “We were annoying him in the sauna today.”

“Shocker,” Deirdre drawled as she rose from her seat and made her way to the staircase.

Surprisingly, no one said anything about her going off in search of the Shadow Singer, although she could feel Rhys’ questioning eyes burning into the back of her skull.

She’d deal with his nosey-ness later.

She found Azriel sitting on the roof of the River House.

“There you are,” she said in a sing-song voice. “I was wondering where you had run off to.”

He just nodded once, only sparing her a short glance.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

He just nodded again.

“What were your brother’s saying that annoyed you?”

Az just looked at her, in that way that seemed like he was peering into her soul. “Just nonsense.”

“Nonsense has you up here freezing your butt off to avoid them?”

“They want to set you up with someone.”

Deirdre just made an “O’ shape with her mouth. “Like romantically?”

Again, the bastard just nodded. She didn’t have the capacity to be even half-heartly annoyed with him right now.

“Who did they have in mind,” she asked, hoping her joking tone came through.

“No.”

“‘No’ they didn’t have anyone in mind or-”

“‘No’ as in no one is setting you up with anyone,” he growled. “You’re too young for all that. So, no dating or getting set up for you.”

She felt the indignation rise in her chest.

“First of all, who do you think you are to tell me when I can or cannot date,” she said. He tried to open his mouth to get a word in, but she just kept going.

“Secondly, I am 21 godsdamned years old and I’ll go out on as many dates as I see fit, given that I’m an adult who can make her own decisions.”

“I’m your brother-in-law,” he tried to explain.

“No you are not,” she scoffed, enunciating each word. “Besides, if we wanted to go along with the archaic rules about who gets to pick who I ‘court’, that would be Rhys’ or Cassian’s job, not yours, as they are technically, my closest living male relatives. And not that it is any of your business, we have had this conversation, Rhys, Feyre, and I about me going out and they don’t care so long as I’m safe.”

Now she was winded.

He just looked stunned.

“I-,” he started.

She just spun on her heel and headed towards the door.

tag list:

@feysandzoyalailover @fanfictioniseverything @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @singhillada @marina468

#acotar #acotar imagine #azriel acotar #azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x oc #idiots in love #unknowingly requited #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #nesta archeron

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chcrryade · 3 months

Text

not one to forget.

Yijun doesn’t really make friends. But there’s always room for enemies.

INCLUDES ⁺⠀qiao yijun, kwak yunseo. TIMESTAMP ⁺⠀BACKSTAGE INKIGAYO, 21 AUGUST 2021. WARNINGS ⁺⠀profanity, arguing. & my obsession with em dashes im so sorry. WORD COUNT ⁺⠀2K. NOTE ⁺⠀is this cringe Be honest.. anyway first chrryade piece we cheered!! sol i hope i didnt eff up your boys thanku for letting me use them 🫂 muah!!!

Sweat was drying uncomfortably on the back of Yijun’s neck. The makeup plastered all over his face felt cakey, unnatural. The lights were too bright and his shoes were too big and with every step he took down the corridor he felt irritation dancing along his skin, sparks flickering and waiting for the final little inconvenience to tip him over the edge, ignite him completely.

He wanted to go. Where, he wasn’t exactly sure, but he knew was that he wanted to be somewhere else. Outside. A bar. The dorms—and not the new ones, in the new apartment the company had set the rest of the newcomers up with and shoved a room in for him too—the original ones. With Hyeonmin. And Ilwoo. And fuck, he’d even be happy to see Jiyeol’s perpetually dead-eyed stare looking back at him when he opened the door. Back home, in their flat. His mother had probably ripped out every memory he’d made in his childhood bedroom to replace it with some minimalistic decor and some fake potted plants and an exercise bike by now, since the last time he’d spoken to her on the phone she’d been waxing lyrical about her ‘new health goals’ for the year.

Anywhere other than the Inkigayo backstage corridors sounded like a dream. He’d take a locked and bolted room with completely blank walls and no-one for company other than Jaehee over a minute longer here.

His fingers crept up the sleeve of the jacket he was wearing and his nails scraped long trails up and down his arms, touch cool to the overheated skin. The sound of it was muffled, and everything felt a little far away. Like he was drifting underwater, wading around under the surface without any real direction—like now, and how he was pacing up and down the corridors in hopes that something would relieve the itching feeling crawling around just under his skin, jumping from nerve ending to nerve ending.

He didn’t have to search for any longer. The faint pressure closing in on him popped all at once, leaving him gasping for air. Or rather—left him slamming hard into someone’s shoulder as he passed them a little too carelessly, head lost in the clouds and deep underwater simultaneously. He swivelled on the heel of his too-big shoes, his lips poised and ready to toss out a half-hearted apology before going on his way, but then Yijun saw the look he gave him.

It wasn’t outright disgust. However much you hated someone in this business, you’d never let them know. It’d stay hidden in the creases of paper-thin smiles and the palms of clenched fists. The look was more.. Reproachful. A drag upwards to the arm Yijun had hit, a hand coming up to brush it off, and then flicking back upwards to meet the rapper’s eyes. The stranger’s lip curled up at the corner, half a sneer on his face, and that was the flame that started the fire. That was all it took. An expression that lasted less than a second, gone faster than it had appeared, and Yijun was gritting his teeth, and turning to face him fully, and trying his best to push the burn of all his vitriol into a singular look.

“Surely it didn’t hurt that much. No need to give me that look.”

That only served to make the look worse. The sneer was full-force, now, and the stranger’s hand dropped from his arm to thud uselessly against his side in a way that seemed far too loud for the quiet of the hallway, even if it was still populated by the distant chatter from other dressing rooms and constant buzz of the aircon.

“And who are you to tell me how much it hurt? No need to be rude.”

The words fell distorted on unhearing ears, static filling them to the brim instead. Who are you? It wasn’t what he meant, wasn’t what was being said—but his mind twisted it that way anyway. Who are you? Reporters at the door. Eyes on his back. A tap on the shoulder, a look of realisation. You’re that.. That Yijun kid, aren’t you? From that group. Whatever they’re called. There’s a new one, now. The other.. Well. I guess you would know what happened to them. From one failed group to another that no-one knew the fate of, from headline to headline and scandal to scandal, and he was still a nobody. Who are you?

He glared right back once he’d snapped himself out of his frozen state, pushing forward to lean closer, leering at the stranger even if he had to raise his gaze to do so. Anger was filling up his head again, leaking out of his ears and pooling onto the floor around the shoes that still didn’t fit. His words were growing in volume, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides and nails leaving crescent moons indented in his palms.

“Rude, my ass. I was just saying.”

Realistically, he knew he should’ve walked away before it went any further. He should’ve turned and retreated, kept it to judging looks when they passed on end-of-show stages and quiet eyerolls when no-one else was looking. But he didn’t, so he couldn’t. Especially when the still-stranger pushed blood-red strands of hair that had come loose from its styling out of his eyes and smiled, the expression stretched thin across his face. Yijun wanted to scream, and he himself didn’t really know why.

“I think I’ve been in this business long enough to know what being rude looks like. I don’t know why you think I have a problem with you—I don’t even know who you are.”

His nails bit into his skin so hard it broke. The stranger kept on going.

“I must’ve missed your performance earlier. Or maybe.. It wasn’t all that to begin with? Anyway, like I said—I don’t know you.”

You’ll know me in a minute, he thought. His head was pounding, the lights above him boring into his retinas. Because I'll rip your teeth out and carve my name into your arm. Maybe then he’d be remembered. The freak who attacked a fellow idol, a jealous psycho so desperate to be known he’d hurt and tear and dig his teeth in for it. Better than nothing, he supposed.

But he didn’t say that. He bit his tongue, tried to school his face into one of indifference rather than one that would show how affected he was from the comment, and said something else instead. “Do you want a medal? I don’t know who the fuck you are, either. And I doubt you and your own little group of no-names were much better than us.”

That was what seemed to crack him. The smile melted off of his face, the façade having slipped, and Yijun let a grin of his own spread over his lips wide enough to show his teeth. If that was all it took, then—well. He would’ve done it a lot earlier.

The stranger opened his mouth again, brow furrowed and likely ready to fire back, until a voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Yunnie-yah! Where the Hell are you?”

Yijun stifled a snicker at the nickname, grinning wider when ‘Yunnie-yah’ only glared harder. A taller man came up from behind but stopped in his tracks at the sight of Yijun, hand almost immediately coming up to rest on the red-haired stranger’s shoulder.

“What’s up? Who’s your friend?”

He laughed again, louder this time. He couldn’t help it. Even ‘Yunnie’ rolled his eyes at the term.

“Far from a friend. Just—I don’t know.”

The taller stranger’s eyes narrowed, hand tightening slightly in its place. “Is there a problem?”

Yijun kept his eyes on the redhead, daring him to speak up. Go on. Snitch. Make a scene. You know you want to.

The redhead said nothing, scoffing and turning away. Despite this, his friend piped up anyway.

“You shouldn’t go around talking shit. It’s not a good look.”

His arms were itching again. His hands uncurled from where they’d been squeezed tightly shut, and he wiped the bleeding crescent moons clean on his sleeves, watched as the red stained the fabric. “You shouldn’t accuse people of things you don’t know they’ve done. That doesn’t paint you in a very good light, either.”

The taller one was quicker to anger than the redhead, it seemed. He started forward even if nothing Yijun said had been particularly provocative, gently pushing the shorter to stand behind him. His vision was suddenly full of dyed hair and irritated eyes, the conflicting smells of sweat and cologne clouding his senses until he was drowning in it all over again. This was how he was going to be remembered, then. A victim, beaten black and blue after a few misplaced words and a misunderstanding. Again—better than nothing. He’d probably get more money out of that.

Alas, the punch he was waiting for never came. A third voice arose instead. Weren’t they crowding the corridor, now? More shoes thudded down the hallway, splashing in the remnants of his anger, his desperation. Like kids on a rainy day, getting their feet wet but not caring until the cold seeped in.

“I sent you off to find him, not hang arou—what the fuck? What are you doing?”

It was getting boring, now. He was less angry, and more tired. The taller one was yanked away, and Yijun pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. He felt like he was drifting again, lost to the raising voices of whatever the trio were going back-and-forth about. Snippets bled through the haze, drifting into one ear and out the other. Can’t you leave well enough alone? He started it. I don’t care. The last thing you need is another hiatus. Fuck you.

When the darkness from his closed eyes morphed into spirals and colours and static, he reopened them to find all three pairs of eyes trained on his figure. A glare, a sneer, a wary look.

“I’m really sorry about this, uh..” the newest arrival of the three stepped forward to apologise, bowing his head and trailing off as he waited for the Yijun to supply his name.

“Yijun.”

“Yijun-ssi. It won’t happen again.”

It could, for all he cared. He’d argue and fight and trade blows all day if it gave him something to do. The apology was paper-thin anyway, hardly counting for much. Still, he nodded along and pasted on a smile as sweet as he could manage.

“It’s alright, sunbae.”

Silence fell again. The tallest was the first to clear his throat and stand up straighter, giving him one last look before turning on his heel. He paused and looked back when he realised only the one who had arrived last was following him, but the redhead cut him off before he could say a word, and waved him off.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

They were back to their stalemate. The glare against the grin. The blood on Yijun’s sleeve had dried, and he could feel a blister coming on from the back of his too-big shoes.

“What’s up, Yunnie-yah?”

The sound of him gritting his teeth was audible. Yijun watched the muscles in his jaw tighten, amusement poorly hidden on his face.

“It’s Yunseo. Or nothing at all, if it’s coming from you.”

“Right.”

He hoped his disinterest was discernible, easily distinguished. From the answering look on the redhead’s face, it had come through just fine.

The quiet was back, until Yunnie—Yunseo—shattered it with a stilted cough, glare lessening in its potency, if only for a moment.

“I guess I’ll have to expect seeing you around.”

Nothing sounded worse, in Yijun’s opinion. The aircon buzzed somewhere above his head, and the distant chatter carried on.

“I hope not.”

The redhead scoffed. Yijun couldn't see what look he had on his face, because he’d turned and carried on walking on his original—long-forgotten, but original—path.

His makeup still felt cakey on his face, and the lights were still too bright. But, at the very least, he was a little less irritated. Pissing people off was something of an outlet, it seemed.

mentioned @syoul

#⠀⬦ ⠀˚⠀⠀ALL ABOUT ME⠀⠀⸻⠀⠀writing.#⠀⭔⠀˚⠀⠀HiGH ADEPTA⠀⠀⸻⠀⠀yijun.#fake kpop oc #fake kpop group #fake kpop bg #fictional kpop group #fictional idol group #fictional idol community

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nedsseveredhead · 3 months

Note

Ned Im on my hands and knees tell me everything about Rena

CRIES NATE I LOVE YOU....

Okay disclaimer first Rena is sooooo self indulgent like. Deeply mary sue oc that i have stuck into canon events because im already cringe enough to make a one piece oc i might as well go all out on it. I deeply deeply hope this doesnt show up in any actual op tags but if it does i Apologize please just scroll by fjdnxnx

OKAY SO DONQUIXOTE RENA.... Is the daughter of Rosinante and a different less important oc named Seraphima. Rosi is the brother of a major one piece villain named Doflamingo. Theres like a whole arc i wont get into cause its not important for this mess but Doflamingo killed their father like. Right infront of Rosi when they were kids. Rosi ran away and was found by the Fleet Admiral of the marines, Sengoku. Sengoku raised Rosi like a son. Later on when Rosi is older he is sent on an undercover mission to take down his brother. During that he finds the young traumatized character Law, redirects all his energy into saving and protecting him. Which he does but Doflamingo kills him for it.

SO WITH THAT BRIEF RUNDOWN OUTTA THE WAY. Rosi left on his mission to take down Doflamingo shortly after Rena was born. This was to be his last job as a marine, then hed retire and raise his daughter with his wife and all would be great. Obviously this did not happen. However, Doflamingo didnt know Rosi had a family- if he did he probably would have hunted them down and killed them too. So to prevent this, Renas mom changed their last name to hers and enlisted Rena into the marines so she could be on the "good" side. She became Sengokus like.. right hand, being his basically granddaughter and all. And she was a prodigal shot too. She rose through ranks and made a name for herself pretty fast.

But she was very conflicted about the whole thing. She knew of her father, probably wrote to him or spoke to him on the phone (the snail???). But she never met him. The first time she ever actually saw him in flesh was his funeral. And yes Doflamingo did that, and she deeply hates him for it. But also.... Who the hell sends a new father on a mission like that? She cant help but feel that its the marines fault she never got to meet him. Just as much as its Doffys. And that feeling only intensified when Doflamingo was welcomed under the Marines wing as a warlord, and she just had to sit silently and accept that. Over the years too, since she was always by the fleet admirals side, she heard a lot more of the marines less heroic dealings. Like defending slavers in Sabaody (which is also the first she ever really started to look at Kidd and Killer hehehe). All of this culminated in the war at Marineford, where she just couldnt accept this absolutely useless war where marines were slaughtering a man who just wanted his son back. So when Shanks showed up to stop it, she approached him and offered anything she could give to just have a lift to the next island. Shanks loves raggedy ass kids so he was like lol yeah and smuggled her outta Marineford. Thus she gained her first poster, not a wanted poster at all but a missing poster for Vulpes Rena. She hated it.

Anyway Shanks drops her off in the new world. Hes nice and all but he has no room for a newbie ex marine on his crew. Good luck kid! But that's fine, Rena had her eyes on joining the Heart Pirates, captained by Law. She recognized the name from some reports she found in Sengokus desk from her father. So she knows he has some kind connection, and she wants to know what it is. By some divine providence she does end up finding him, and convinces his first mate (my friends oc lol) to take her to him to talk. Law accepts her as soon as he finds out shes Rosis kid. Feels he owes it to her, since he kinda led to her dad dying and all.

The two end up with a sibling like relationship. Like refer to eachother as brother and sister, since Rosi was definitely adopting Law if all had gone according to plan. When Law leaves to face down Doflamingo, Rena follows because god damn it you are NOT telling her she cant get a punch in on the man who shot her dad. And she does get a shot in!!! And then promptly gets her ass handed to her cause like girl lmao. Still. Bonding time for her and Law lmao. Luffy eventually defeats Doffy and afterwards she takes her (Rosis) last name back. Shes Donquixote Rena, thank you very much!

In Wano her mission was to keep an eye on Basil and figute out what he was doing and thats when she met Killer officially ooooOooOOoooOo. Tbh im still working on that part in my official canon but idk they make out, get arrested, meet back up with Kidd, make out again. Etc

Lets see other Rena facts...

- She is so fucking clumsy. She inherited it from Rosi. Her crew makes her keep a life ring with her on deck cause she constantly topples over the edge and cant swim

- Shes a devil fruit user!! The Calm Calm fruit (also Rosis lmaooo) which means she can make anything in a radius around her or anything she touches completely soundless. Been trying to work out an Awakened version of it cause shes due for a powerup but cjdnd

- Shes a marksman/sniper! She has on her person at all times atleast two pistols, and will usually have her rifle "Silent Night"

- She eventually joins the Kidd Pirates to be with Killer (and Kidd) and is their ship doctor (she picked up a few things from Law and well... They cant do much worse)

- She loves pop music its so embarassing

- I gave her my fear of albatrosses. Get wrecked pirate girl

- she has a playlist but its a huuuuge work in progress lmao

UHM THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF RN.... If i ever find an oc ask thingy ill rb it and fill it out for her lmao but heres this for now thank you i love you

#im so genuinely sorry if this appears in any real tags outside of my blog #donquixote rena #SHES JUST MY SCRUNGLY

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6kuros · 1 year

Note

As a fellow creator who is also disturbed and upset by the revelation of pizza tower being a product of 4chan type people, I'm wondering how you handle it? I still want to draw fan art but Im struggling to not get uncomfortable. Basically, I have both love and hate for the game now, and you seem like a cool person so Im wondering how you deal with that. Love your pizza tower fan art sm btw!

im really glad that you enjoy my art, and also am flattered you think im cool!!!

first of all, id like to mention that the art i posted just now was art that i had finished last night, before everything about mcpig came to light and i just wanted to post it since i already had it done…still unsure if im going to draw consistent pizza tower in the future honestly, id like to because its a lot of fun and i really do love a lot about the game. ideally, the current situation would change somehow so i can do that without any discomfort for myself or others, but the only way i foresee that happening is if the devs actually remove the racist shit from the game

what makes me feel (kind of) okay about producing fanart for the game despite what emerged is mostly the fact that as long as i am not reproducing the harmful contents of the game, nor directly supporting the people behind it, im not putting any harm into the world or perpetuating the 4chan stuff i guess? the only thing im really worried about is possibly getting people to want to buy the game by putting my fanart out there, but considering the games popularity from streaming and youtube videos i dont see my own art as contributing to that much. that makes it easier for me not to feel unsettled when i draw fanart for it, but i think that depends on how you view the relationship between fanart and source material, especially in an interactive space like the internet. if you think your art risks sending the message that you approve of negative aspects of a piece of media then its probably better not to share that art

theres also the fact that from the messages that were revealed i get the impression that at some point mcpig had a sort of disdain for "cringe leftists" being fans of the game i guess, and i would consider myself someone who he would/would have found cringe at one point lol. so by being into the game its kind of a fuck you idc that you hate me, this thing you made is being enjoyed by cringe leftists. considering the tone of some of the messages was "if people get mad at me im just going to be edgy in response" i dont even think disengaging with the game would even bother him at all. but all of that is really just speculation and i dont want to insinuate that engaging with bigoted media is proactive just because you are a marginalized person or have progressive politics. its important to actually weigh the harm of your actions and what effect you have with your consumption of said media i dont really know if thats a good answer though, and if it holds up to any sort of moral judgement. i do think its possible to enjoy problematic media, but considering how new the game is its not the kind of thing i can look at and be like "this piece of media is from x years ago and doesnt do real harm now". my worst fear is that there are pizza tower fans who are going to see the awful shit in the game and replicate it, bc the game somehow makes them thinks theres nothing wrong with it or that they can do so without consequence. just from a scope of the fandom there seem to be a lot of young teenagers so Yeah. im concerned in that regard and id like to beam a message into kids' brains thats just like Hey this character design/behavior fucking sucks Dont do this

so, by posting my art anyway i hope i can contribute to a portion of the fanbase that is outwardly against the bigoted content in the game, as an alternative to mcpig dick riders/defenders. and if there are any fans out there involved in the community who dont know better, hopefully they can learn, and avoid perpetuating bigotry

all that being said, your feelings on the matter may be very different, and you dont have to abide to any of this thinking. if a piece of media is upsetting you, its okay to step away from it as long as you need. maybe see how you feel when you come back to it and if the hateful feelings are still there, there is no obligation to engage further

(and as a bottom line if anybody reading this is considering playing pizza tower i suggest you pirate it instead of paying for it)

#ask #anon #also just want to say im open to having a discussion about this and towards critiques of my argument but if it gets to the point #where people are being unreasonable and aggressive ill be turning off anon/closing my askbox

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tales-of-a-wallflower-swiftie · 30 days

Text

crucify me daddy (or how I learned to stop giving a shit about celebrities relationships and focus on the nu cold war) *insert edgy title here by Fall Out Boy* - a rant with love

So TTPD has finally graced us with it's presence and it's an amazing album. It's a mix of Folklore + Speak Now + Reputation + Midnights in one bundle. Will have to give it a few more listens before I can decide my personal favorites but Clara Bow has been stuck in my head quite a lot.

Now... elephant in the room. I am a fan of The 1975 but I am not a Matty Healy apologist by any means. Do I think he's a racist, fuck no! If so, why are pretty much all of The 1975's work r'n'b based and has a black influence and collaborations with ethnic artists. He's not dancing in a KKK outfit or anything or wearing blackface or beating up a Pakistani kid or . Why are the many artists he's supported over the years people of color or *coughs* ASIAN! FOR FUCKS SAKE HIS LAST GIRLFRIEND IS BLACK AND WAS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE TO WHICH HE SUPPORTED AND STOOD UP FOR EVEN GIVEN HIS SICKENING PORN TASTE!

Do I think he's a twat and an idiot who sticks his foot firmly in his mouth a lot and says and does a lot without thinking, YES! The whole Love It If We Made It incident which started the entire Matty hate mob was an honest ill thought mistake. He shouldn't have shared his own song during his BLM post, I agree. It was fairly cringe for him to kiss the gay fan and put a target on that fans back but his heart was in the right place in calling out the bullshit in the eastern areas against stuff like this.

Cum Town helped Matty through his rehab and in return he was invited as a guest to which he joined in on some edgy jokes about Ice Spice and shared his porn taste of the hardcore variety like most men watch. The episode was out for many months prior to the news of them getting together however the psycho swifties wanted any ammunition to cause a fandom jihad.

So to no one's surprise, I was expecting at least a few Matty mentions. Boy was I in for a treat. Peter, But Daddy I Love Him, The Tortured Poets Department among others.

But kudos to Taylor for actually sticking up for herself and Matty during But Daddy I Love Him. I loved Taylor before but I completely adore her for having the guts to say to those parasocial dicks who thinks everything is a coded message or an easter egg, enough is fucking enough

"I'll tell you something right now I'd rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin' I'll tell you something 'bout my good name It's mine alone to disgrace I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing"

It sickens me to see some of Swifties wish death, rape, bus crashes, , overdoses on Matty and his family. She chose to be with him, she wasn't shotgun wedding or married off to him and fuck me, imagine genuinely liking someone once you get to know them and not look at the edgy stuff they said online... crazy am i right?

Look what happened to Mac Miller, Ari's fans launched a crusade against him and he ended up doing himself in because of it

You know we're going to be nuked soon anyway... china, russia, israel or even if Trump gets re-elected. Mexico is over run with videos of people getting their faces cut off and Logan, Jake and KSI sell poison to kids and have yet to be assassinated. Life's too short to care about the relationship of two celebrities. Go touch grass, go milk a horse blindfolded, go kick a hornets nest, go burn yourself alive in front of Trump tower. Be a decent human being stop fixating on relationships of the stars

#staygay

#rant #meme #cumtown #taylor swift #the 1975 #matty #matty healy #ratty #ratty healy #the tortured poets department #matthew healy #trumanblack #tswizzle #t swizzle #rants #ttpd

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zipmode · 6 months

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your wizards are seriously so awesome tell. me. everything

WOW this ask looks so broken on mobile for some reason but YAYYY YIPPEEEEE WUNCLE WORLD ^_^ surprisingly fleshed out for a world where literally the only two characters I've been able to think up names for are the titular Wuncle and Earnest.

Wait im gonna put this infodump under a read more. Just in case. Yeah it's a long one.

ANYWAYS it's from a concept I came up with some time last year I think? (GOING BACK AFTER LOOKING UP WHEN I FIRST TALKED ABOUT THEM. IT WAS THIS YEAR. LOL.) Earnest is this miserable kid in the 'real' world whose parents died in a ~MYSTERIOUS INCIDENT~. One day out of nowhere their deadbeat uncle Joe (who they barely remember, hasn't seen him since the death of their parents) yanks them into the MAGIC world where he reveals that he and Earnest's mom come from a super long line of extremely powerful wizards, that Earnest's mom only moved to Boring World to be with the cringe fail love of her life or whatever 🙄, and that Earnest should basically come live with him in his AWESOME WIZARD TOWER instead of the STUPID REAL WORLD so they can study under him to become the next great wizard in the family or whatever.

Instead of being super hyped for this opportunity like Joe THINKS is gonna happen, Earnest is like. 'Dude what the fuck? I barely know you. I don't care about this. Take me back. I miss my Nintendo DS.'

To this Wuncle Joe responds 'ohhhh ummmm actually creating a portal to boringland is incredibly difficult and can only occur like once every ten years when the planets align jussst right so basically you're stuck here anyways 😁👍but don't worry it's cool I'm cool we're cool.' And thus begins Earnest's involuntary apprenticeship 👍

Other characters Wuncle World include:

Wuncles' Familar: Wuncle Joe made a deal with this demon essentially stating that in exchange for his soul (after he dies ((a powerful wizards soul is a rare and tasty treat for a demon))) she works for him and basically does whatever. Basically his assistant. Very silly very goofy VERY VERY EVIL. but cant really do any SUPER evil stuff unless joe says so. At least until he dies :). She's capable of shape-shifting and typical demon stuff but her default form looks like this (old drawings <3) vvv

DRYAD KID: a little ways away from Wuncle's Tower, which is surrounded by a dense and super magical forest, is a secret town of various naturey creatures. Dryads, Nymphs, Satyrs, Pixies etc etc etc. Earnest learns about it through the Dryad Kid, who at first is like 'OH FUCK yes new kid in the forest', then Earnest is like 'yeah I moved into the wizard tower. With my uncle. The wizard.' And the Dryad kid is like. '.........ohhhhh 😬 that guy.'

Dryad Kid acts as Earnest's primary guide to the magical realms as well as their first glimpse into the fact that Wuncle Joe isn't just some deadbeat fool, but a public nuisance at best and a malicious force in the realm at worst. If Earnest isn't busy doing stupid wizard shit with their uncle, chances are they're hanging out with Dryad Kid.

HONORABLE CHARACTER MENTIONS (even less flushed out guys but still important):

KING AND PRINCE: king of the big main kingdom. Wuncle Joe's old boss. Also not a great guy but it's less obvious at first. His son is the prince who acts as like. A rival to Earnest before they both realize they're kind of in similar boats and become friends.

WIZARD COUNCIL: grand council of wizards that controls. Well you know. Wizard stuff. Fate of the world shit. They fucking hate Wuncle Joe. Hardasses but not necessarily evil.

EARNEST 'S MOM: very very very powerful wizard. Clearly had some crazy beef with Joe before she died but most of the specifics are unknown to Earnest until later in the plot.

Overall plot is like. Earnest gradually discovering that Wuncle Joe is actually the primary antagonist of this world. They have to Outwizard and Outscheme him before he can destroy everything basically.

Thank you for asking about my wizard world Austin in lives in my head rent free <3 this essentially only scratches the surface of its Whole Deal. But this was already super long LOL

#zipmode answers #giggles and frolicks until i accidentally run headfirst into a wall #wuncle joe #earnest madision #my ocs

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umbramatic · 1 year

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Trust The Fungus

This is a review ramble thing of The Super Mario Bros Movie (the 2023 one, not the one from 30 years earlier the title is joking about, but more on the 1993 one later). There will be spoilers.

(You will see me using the word "cringe" a lot in this. Disclaimer: I do not actually believe in cringe culture at all in the slightest in ANY form, it's just a useful shorthand for a special sort of deep revulsion within the soul. Anyway.)

So like, we all went into this expecting cringe because Illumination, right? The animation studio that peaked with their FIRST MOVIE, Despicable Me, and has put the low in lowbrow ever since. The animation studio who actively animates on the cheap for profit margins. Those guys.

But I, to start, want to report there are minimal amounts of cringe! Sure, "look at us, we're adorable" was cringe in the trailers and it's cringe here. Sure Mario hating mushrooms was a specific flavor (mushroom flavored?) of unnecessarily ironic that made me roll my eyes a bit even when the REST of the unnecessarily ironic humor didn't. But overall, it was good! Honestly I genuinely liked this movie a lot!

You probably haven't heard of Monster Hunter: Legends Of The Guild, a low-budget animated Monster Hunter movie Capcom quietly pushed to Netflix when the live-action one turned out to be shit. I always thought that one wasn't that great as a movie on its own but unlike the live action one was fantastic at actually being a MONSTER HUNTER movie - sort of an inverse of the Dark Knight Trilogy's modern "good movie bad Batman movie" reputation. This one is honestly quite similar, even though I at least personally think it stands on its own better than Monster Hunter: Legends Of The Guild does.

A large part of this is one of the movie's biggest strengths: the fanservice. And no I don't mean "Princess Peach in a bikini" fanservice. I mean THE LORE. There is soooooo much Mario lore here, and Nintendo homages, and different characters popping up left and right.

Every time I saw a reference or cameo I, like many, was like

And that in a way being the main draw over the plot and characters WOULD be kind of a bad thing but it's just so much fun and there's so many of them I don't care. On a related note everything's so on brand, it again genuinely feels like a MARIO movie. We all know Nintendo's kind of the Disney Lite of the video game world in terms of being overly controlling - lost ROM sites and fan projects and such sure are testament to that huh - but here it kind of worked in their favor because they very obviously kept Illumination in line. You can bet your bottom dollar that Shigeru Miyamoto poured over every frame of this movie and if there was something he didn't like it got the Paper Mario treatment.

Granted, we do start the movie with the Mario Bros living in real-world (if Nintendofied) Brooklyn, a take Nintendo is still apparently okay with despite Odyssey kinda sorta retconning it, and we see the Mario Bros having JOBS and a (a VERY Italian American, can confirm) FAMILY and it all feels akin to my gender and body dysphoria (Charles Martinet is Mario's dad though, that's really cute) but also it makes sense for the story they're trying to tell and it doesn't last long.

I should talk about the cast. I was pretty chill with how everyone did. Sure they shouldn't have been stuntcasted this fucking hard in the first place. Sure Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong took some growing on me. Sure I have noted Sociopolitical Problems with Crisp Rat and they should have cast literally anyone who is less Problematic(tm). Burt everyone did fine for what they were.

(Also say what you will about the Ironic(tm) humor, despite that kind of stuff Mario and Luigi's relationship feels real and genuine and I am here for it. I'm normally not THAT into same-gender sibling relations because that's not what I grew up with and NOW the gender situation is complicated but c'mon, they were cute.)

Also Jack Black got to sing. That alone made this movie worth seeing for me. The music was SUPER good when it's stuff like Bowser's singing and the cool remixed Mario tracks. The licensed music was a lot less necessary and in one case apparently replaced a perfectly good Donkey Kong remix and almost all of it could have been cut... Aside from the I Need A Hero sequence, that was inspired.

Speaking of Bowser. I like that they basically nudge nudge hint hint at Mario and Peach being an item but never actually do anything about it (just like the games!) whereas Bowser is UNDENIABLY horny on main for Peach and sees Mario as competition (also just like the games!) . Speaking of the references, they even use Bowser and Peach's Odyssey wedding outfits, which is cute.

(Also can we make Girlboss Peach game canon please?)

This movie does have a sense of... "This world operates on video game logic. We will try to explain it but we will not JUSTIFY it" and I think that's neat. At first I thought that was a factor as to why this movie was less popular with critics than fans, but I went with my mostly non-gamer family (more on them later) and not only could they follow it fine, my mom told me after the movie she understood video games and video game logic BETTER after seeing this movie so I dunno.

I will say. For a movie that is trying to distance itself from and replace the 1993 one as much as possible there are a lot of funny parallels. The Brooklyn origins leading to a secret portal beneath the city, Bowser's minions trying to isolate and strand our heroes, having One Toad In Particular help our heroes, the funky ass cars/karts, the princess of choice being more serious and also an isekai victim, the final fight being taken BACK to Brooklyn... It's amusing.

But overall I had fun. I want to see it again. I went to see it with my family and they enjoyed it too. Though if I had a nickel for every time a video game movie I saw on my birthday with my family that had a wedding scene that gets memed on by said family due to an upcoming wedding in said family I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice. Damn. Now I want Hollywood movies for every major Nintendo franchise that hasn't gotten one. And by "major" I mean "important enough to get into Smash". ROB and Game And Watch movies when? (More seriously I want Zelda and Fire Emblem and full-length Pikmin movies. God please.)

#super mario bros #the super mario bros movie #review

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nokaru · 2 years

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Frogs Do Fly and Gods Do Bleed

Hello beloveds, if you're bored why don't you read this snippet of completely random cringe hmm? I know you want to ;)

(random notes/wannabe ff? Just to let you know I'm not a fanfic writer, I only fancy myself a school literature connoisseur and with said stories being only in czech I will not even bother trying to understand English commas cheers)

✨Obi's headcanon backstory✨

Starring

Child 'why are we still here? Just to suffer' Obi

And LOT of OCs

Including

Child 'same bullshit, different day' Nokaru

Little brother 'I won't hesitate bitch' Haru

Sister 'I'm a nun cause not even the Gods can help me' Fiona

Big brother 'damage control' Tom

And some more! :D

....

Obi was different than other 8 year olds, he had to be. To survive. To be able to make it out there for so long on his own. He was strong, cunning and independent. He was better. But beside edgy internal monologs about life and death, he fitted into the same category as other 8 year olds. Dumb. That's what his mother said. Obi still sometimes thinks about her. He used to be sad about her.. "situation", but now he just laughs. She was the dumb one. At least that's what auntie Anna-Marie from the Bloody Mary brothel says. And Obi is convinced she's right.

....

Sister Fiona, the apathetic nun who for some reason was appointed as another one of the caretakers, said the great goddess Somni doesn't find the kids lives interesting enough to hate them. That so called cold hard truth caused Obi to release a snicker. Seeing Obi's reaction made his baby brother, still only 6 years old, snicker as well. Aniki lightly bonked both of their heads with a sigh. Nokaru stayed silent. Obi wonder if she believed the words of Sister Fiona.

....

Obi pondered about the great goddess some more.

Maybe she hated him like he hated green beans... Maybe she hated him the same way he hated his mother.. And maybe she hated Obi the same way his mother did.

....

"You can ignore 70% of the nihilistic bullshit Sister Fiona says.... With all due respect." Obi added the last part after short pause out of actual respect of Sister Fiona. He was also convinced she could hear everything so he tried to patch up his little slip up.

"Nihilistic?" Nokaru turned her head to the side in a questioning manner. How cute. Obi coughed.

"Ehm.. Well it's like... " Obi didn't have an answer for Nokaru's question because he himself didn't know what the word meant. He just recited the same phrase he heard Tsu-sensei say a while ago to his older brother.

Nokaru noticed Obi's skittishness and decided she will just ask Sister Fiona what it means later herself.

"Anyway!" with a little huff Nokaru swiftly pulled herself up from the fallen tree trunk she was sitting on, making sure not to slip on the tree moss, she sled closer to Obi who was sitting at the end of the trunk.

"I heard Mr. Zarr is returning today. Let's go ask Mrs. Rita when exactly he will be back."

Nokaru tried to sound more excited than she actually was.. It's not like she wasn't happy The Boss will be back, of course not! She was pumped and wanted to ask all about his adventures in Tanbarun. She just wanted to change the topic fast to make Obi feel less uncomfortable. And it worked. Obi pulled the biggest smile she had ever seen on him. Good. Obi's usual relaxed demeanor changed into ecstatic one. In an instant he jumped up, grabbed Nokaru's hand and with a boyish smirk sprinted towards the main house.

....

"GUYS THERE'S A FROG HERE!" yelled little Haru excitedly from the rocky side of the pond where the gang has been camping out for a while now.

"Where?!" star eyed Nokaru run up to Haru's crouched down figure in full speed, almost tripping over the bigger rocks in her path.

"Awww Haru where did it go?"

"Wha- huh no... It just flew away!" Haru gasped with whiny tone, looking all around. No frog to be found.

"It.. flew.. away?" raising an eyebrow Obi walked over to join the hunt for the lost frog.

The older kids, only including Tom Aniki and Hana, were trying to fish in peace still standing on the other side of the pond. Tom just shook his head.

"Maybe it did fly away.. " defeated sigh followed soon after Tom mumble the claim to himself. He just doesn't want anyone fighting again and burst Haru's bubble. That being said it was hard not to start playful fight with both Obi and Haru present.

"Frogs don't fly, stupid." scoffed Obi.

"Well this one just did!" whined Haru defensively.

"STOP LYING!"

"IT DID FLY AWAY!"

In the middle of this childish and petty bickering, stood Nokaru, like a stick figure you would draw with dull crayon.

"You guys..." the more reasonable child tried to laugh it off with an awkward giggle. Her attempts went unnoticed. The bickering continued.

"IT DID! IT DID FLY AWAY! CAUSE FROGS CAN DO ANYTHING AND YOU ARE JUST A MEANIE!" yelling on top of his little lungs Haru pumped his fists in almost cute threatening manner. Obi just laughed at his little brother.

"I'm a meanie? Really, that's all you got?"

"Dickhead."

"Oh, okay."

---------

What tf is this? Who knows Lmao I just wrote random things that came into my mind when I was bit tipsy, tried to explain some dynamics ig I still feel they are not really the way I want them to but oh well

Some more notes:

Goddess Somni is just reference to Atlas of Clouds and Moon Knight (protector of travelers of the night) basically. I wanted to give the underground tm some depth so I gave them this Lmao. They are evil but they have their own God they respect.

Actually I have no clue why I picked Sister Fiona to be there when she's kinda irrelevant in the overall OC story (I just like the trope of idgaf nuns)

Obi was adopted into his older brother's family and so was his little brother

his big bro's word is holy to Obi, with Haru... welp he's ready to throw hands

Nokaru took a passive role in these notes for some reason??? Idk

#akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #ans #obi #Ans ocs #Obi's backstory #snippets of random notes #Obi pretends he's all gloomy but he's actually just another kid #doesn't know what's going on either #prone to grammar errors and weird sentences read at your own risk

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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Welcome back! I guess time really flies faster for extroverts like us lol.

Well, we get bored faster, that's for sure. ;)

Anyways, I wonder, what is your stance (as 6w7) toward learning and failures in general? For 3w2 like me, it's totally fine to make mistake but I have to improve at a really fast pace every time. I rarely stop to sort out how I feel about the mistake and I just drive toward fixing it. But at the same time I'm very sensitive to criticism and failures, because it reflects poorly on my competency and a blow to my face. Which is why it could be nerve wracking to get plunged into new things, I could muck it up. It took a lot of willpower to force myself to do it and not think about how clumsy I'll look.

My head-energy 6 perspective is that learning is a process and takes time, that nobody is going to get it right offhand, and that failure is a way to learn how to do a better job next time and/or become more aware of your limitations. My 7 wing, however, thinks learning out to be easy and fun and wants to re-frame failure into a positive of some kind (a lesson learned, a door closed so another one can open, etc). TBH, I don't spend any time thinking about how I feel about the mistake (which most of the time is anger at being wrong or getting it wrong or shame for having embarrassed myself with misinformation, etc), I just work hard to make sure I won't make it again and/or to to fix it. I hate being 'exposed' or making a mistake in public especially.

Criticism for me is somewhat expected; I've had to work through a natural 6 tendency to expect the worst from people (that they won't like it or me, that they will only see what's wrong with it, or focus only on the mistake and miss the forest for the trees, which is just me 6ishly projecting my own insecurities onto other people; I've made great strides in moving past this in the last year or so, which has made my life a hell of a lot easier). If I receive criticism, I step back and evaluate it to decide if it's constructive; if so, I implement it, and if it's not or just a matter of opinion, I decide from there whether I care or not and agree with it or not. It's hard for me to ignore criticism, however, since I'm an attachment type who internalizes everything. I'm also protective of looking competent, because I work so hard to be truly good at the few hobbies / undertakings I take on.

My 8w7 boss and 8w9 aunt say something like 'don't care about how others see you. Only focus on yourself and be better each time. It's your journey and no one else's.' This is very interesting because I always attach to other people, like this guy did great. I have to be better next time. But 8s in my life just don't care about any of that. Which sounds refreshing lol.

Gosh yes, it would be amazing to be a rejection type... what has helped me in the past (which might not help you, as a core image type, lol) is to remind myself -- nobody cares what you do, so you might as well do what pleases you. They aren't thinking about you all the time and waiting with baited breath for you to show up in their life and dazzle them. They are thinking about themselves. So you don't have to show up for them, show up for yourself instead. Do it for you.

And ... is it normal to feel cringe toward people of your own type?

Yes. I experience this more with fellow 6s (especially online, watching them spiral, project, be fearful and negative, accuse others, and ping off them without finding a sense of their internal strength) than with other ENFPs, mostly because I know very few other ENFPs. But ENFPs being naive or unrealistic does make me flinch a little. And in a true Fi way, everything is always about me, so I assume their behavior is going to affect how people view ME. (EG, "This obvious ENFP who never edits anything has put out a terrible book, which means people who read it and think it's subpar might not buy indie authors anymore and that will affect me, since they won't give me a chance!" Wow boy, egocentric much? Welcome to Fi.)

Regar

My friend is ESTP 3w2 sp/so (essentially identical except sensor-intuitive divide). I feel cringe at some of what he did. [...] He is a great guy - smart, caring, fun and nice. But I can't help getting pissed by all those 3-ness and ETP-ness. Maybe it's because we share type? Since I know all his tactics and it's becoming like a mirror for myself?

Yep. Psychologists always say, you hate most in other people what you secretly hate in yourself... Being the same type, you know what he's up to, so he can't fool you, which fills you with disgust, because it's holding up a mirror to your previous behaviors.

#question #mbti #enneagram

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peearrdee · 2 years

Text

Snow Day

Revivedbur awoke in the night. This isn’t new, not for this body or the last. Even the snow outside the window isn’t new, it’s been constant since October. But tonight he found himself hypnotized by it. The air currents tossed the flakes in swirls, carrying them up and tossing them down like a fire tossed sparks. He walked to the window, wrapping a blanket around him like a shawl. The attic is warm—maybe too warm. He hesitated, looking back at Phil sleeping in the other bed. Then he scrambled for his boots, pulling on two pairs of socks. He hated wet socks. He had to shed the blanket for his worn overcoat, but he pulled on a heavy shawl as well just to keep the snow off. He climbed the balcony, took a bracing breath of icy air, and leapt off into the snowdrift below. The snow caught him in its soft, cold embrace. Wilbur pushed himself to his feet and brushed off.

The cold stung the apples of his cheeks as he smiled. He couldn’t stop smiling as he looked out across the darkness. The snow made everything bright, even on a night like this with only a sliver of a moon hung in the heavens. He scooped up a handful of snow and watched it swirl as he tossed the powder into the air. It flowed like nothing else, not sand or dust or soil.

“Having fun?”

Wilbur turned around, nearly tripping over himself.

Technoblade snorted steam in a way which meant he was amused, tossing him a pair of blue gloves. Wilbur caught them, pulling them on. They fit perfectly on his long fingers and he looked closer for embroidered enchantments. All he found was “Friend” stitched onto the wrist. His heart tightened and the wool turned a deeper shade.

“Hey Techno. Yeah, I’m just getting some fresh air.”

Technoblade hummed. “Bro, it’s like 4 AM.”

“Well what are you doing up?”

“I’m American,” the piglin joked.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Thinking about Tommy. Phil said Dream might be after him. It’s like, c’mon dude, can’t you do something else with your life? Stans are cringe.”

Wilbur laughed. “That bad?”

“Bro, bro, last year the kid showed up here rambling about Dream being after him. Totally killed the vibe of my retirement, by the way, but the kid was freakin’ out and beggin’ me to hide him, so I did. Dream was all weird about it, makin’ threats about Theseus killing his dad? Not sure that’s accurate. Like bro Tommy ain’t a one to one parallel. You say something once and it’s all people associate with you!”

Techno chuckled and stretched. “Anyyyyways, I don’t know what the point I was making was.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes. “Do you ever?”

In the morning Wilbur made the long schlepp through the Nether to the Greater Dream SMP. It had snowed here too, but it stayed off the cement and clung only to trees and roofs. It crunched under his feet, packing together and refreezing.

Tommy was kneeling outside his little dirt house, setting up torches to keep the freeze off his flowers. He hummed snatches of song to them, brushing snow off burdened stems.

Wilbur’s hands were beginning to hurt but he scooped up two handfuls of snow anyways. They packed together perfectly and he grinned, remembering how to shape it into the perfect projectile. He aimed and flung it perfectly at Tommy’s puffy blue vest. Tommy yelped and whipped around.

“Fuck you, Will!” he yelled as his face flashed with relief, reaching down and scooping up snow for a snowball. But Wilbur already had one in the barrel, and fired again.

“Not fair!” Tommy bawled like a calf, throwing his snowball. It struck Wilbur square in the chest and he laughed.

“Lucky shot, Tommy.”

“Fuck you, I’m great at this.” Tommy flung another, and another. Grazing shot to the left flank, and a direct hit to Wilbur’s left shoulder. He threw his arms in the air. “Gotcha!”

“You little—” Wilbur stammered, and laughed. “I’m gonna destroy you, give me a minute, hold on.”

“Nope!” Tommy yelled in defiance, flinging himself on the ground to pack snow into a pile.

Wilbur stuck to quality over quantity, giggling as he worked the snow with numb hands. “You’re doing it wrong, Tommy, look—”

“Fuck you bitch, this is the TommyInnit method, I’m going to be firing them at you like a tank.”

Wilbur built his own supply as Tommy ripped up chunks of packed snow.

“Oi!”

Wilbur looked up and got hit dead in the face with a snowball. He fell back, throwing one blindly in Tommy’s direction.

Tommy cackled, hefting a huge chunk of snow and dropping it on him before he could even clear his vision. Wilbur yelped, half buried.

“Alright, alright. I cede, I cede. You win, Tommy.”

Tommy flopped onto the ground next to him, grinning like an kid again. Wilbur reached over and ruffled his hair.

“Is that my beanie? Did you loot my corpse?”

“Um, no, this is another red beanie. Totally different guy I nicked it off. His name was, uh, Wiblur Snoot and he was short, so really not even a person at all.”

“Right.”

Tommy’s eyes lit up. “Will, shut up. Are those Ghostbur’s gloves?!”

“What?”

“They are, what the fuck?” Tommy grabbed his hand, nearly yanking Wilbur’s arm out of its socket.

“Oi, oi! Lay off!”

“Naur, I made these for him,” Tommy whispered. “I thought they were gone.”

“Technoblade had them.”

“Really? Huh. Wonder why he kept them.”

#wilbur soot #tommyinnit #dream smp #technoblade #sbi #crime boys #my writing #I first wrote this in January and it’s been sitting in my drafts for months #before the prison break stream KEKW #so I think it’s set then

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thatismahogany · 2 years

Text

Conversations With Friends

Thor Odinson x Reader (Platonic)

After the incident with Zeus, Thor finds himself thinking about his family. A certain person wants to fix that. SPOILER FREE FOR TLAT!

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

I walk out onto the deck of Asgard Tours, escaping the smell of Val and her mead. I'm absolutely exhausted after that incident with Zeus and his goons: Jane could see it on my face, with the way I was rubbing my face like there was a permanent itch on it.

I notice Thor, standing at the starboard side of the ship. He's looking at the Bifrost-Dolphin-Hybrids staring unfocusedly into space. We're all a little worried about him, what with losing all of his friends and family. And on top of that, he doesn't even have his planet anymore.

I move to join him, my boots click-clacking on the soft wood of the ship. As my presence is made known, he turns to face me, a small frown being replaced with a hesitant smile.

"Hello, little one."

I cringe at the name, instantly remarking that I'm not a teenager anymore. He may be 1500 years old, but nobody else is. Or, maybe Valkyrie is.

"Ah, but you'll always be little to me." He chuckles, and I smile back at him; knowing what has to come next.

"Thor."

"Yes?"

"We're gonna talk about it."

"Talk about what? I'm fine! We're fine, everybody's good. What is there to talk about?"

I immediately notice what he's trying to do. In all the years I've known him, Thor has a habit of not confronting his problems until the last minute. Not that he'd ever admit it, though.

"Are you okay?"

His smile falters, but he's quick to fix it.

"I'm fine, promise. What is it you Midguardians say? 'Cross my heart and hope to die'? I don't know why anyone would hope to die, but I must say, Midguardian culture is a new subject for me-"

"Thor."

I look at him, and when he looks back, I see something in his eyes. He knows, just as much as I do, the importance of what I'm going to say next.

"You miss him, don't you?"

"Who?"

"Loki."

He looks like a kicked puppy, his lips quivering and my heart shattering.

"Every single day."

I cock my head to the side, thinking.

He's been through so much, lost everything. In a way, Thor and I are alike. I didn't have any idea who I was after I lost my family, and I never thought I could get better. Yet now, I have something to do again. I can finally help innocent people, I can do what I love with people I trust.

"How do you do it?"

I'm snapped out of my haze, looking at him confusedly.

"Do what?"

"All of.... This." he gestures around him, obviously not noticing my confusion.

"Thor, I-"

"How can you live without them?"

The breath is knocked out of me, and I see tears brimming in his eyes. I turn my face back toward the direction of the dolphins, pursing my lips as I think of what to say next.

I don't know what I can say, I don't know how I can make him feel better. After my parents died, after my brother left, I was left broken. Yes, I got better, but it took my weeks to just get outside again, and here he is. Fighting a monster he doesn't know he can beat. I say only my truths, I say only what I truly understand.

"It gets easier, after a while. That pain, that ache... It never goes away. But after some time, you find purpose in yourself again. You find the will to go shopping, to go to work, to fix yourself. You live the life they would've wanted you to live. Otherwise, what's the point of their sacrifice?"

I know my words don't mean anything to him, but there's that dull hope inside me that they do.

He doesn't look at me, not yet, but there's that look that I understand he's taken in what I've said.

"You know, throughout all our fights, all our bitter squabbles, I could never find it in myself to hurt him. Not truly, anyway. We would always find our way back to eachother."

"I know that feeling. After my brother did...

After he killed all those innocent people, after he betrayed me-

I could never hate him. He's my family. I loved him, so, so much. We laughed together, we cried together. He was my best friend, my confidante. In a way, he'll always be my brother."

He turns his head to face me, a tear very briefly rolling across his face.

"But I can't forgive him. What he did to me, I will never ever forget. It's okay to miss your family, but you can't hold onto them because of what they were. It's what they do now that matters, what they make of themselves in the present. My brother was my best friend, but I'm fine with... not seeing him again. That part of my life is finished now. I've moved on."

"What was it like? What was... he, like?"

"He was wonderful. When he was in your life, it felt like everything was okay. Even if you were sitting in a corner, taking up space, when he walked in... You were loved. He just made everything ten times better. That's why when he left, it hurt ten times harder."

He blinks profusely, not understanding what I mean. Before I can elaborate, he says something I didn't expect.

"I never had that with Loki. Even after our battles together, our studies, I was never crushed when he left. He wasn't heartbroken when I first fell to Earth. But he was my brother, even if he was always out to get me. We were raised together, on Asgard, as brothers. That was all I could ever ask for, I think."

I smile wetly, feeling a lone tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away, and respond.

"That's what it's like. No matter what you do, no matter what they do to you, you will always be family. I just can't bring myself to call him my best friend anymore. I've found my best friends, I've found the people I want to spend the rest of my life with."

I look over my shoulder toward Korg and Val, laughing about something over a pint. I think of what we've been through together, from Sakaar to Wakanda and even to New York. We've laughed together, we've cried together. They're my best friends, my confidantes. I don't know what I'd do without them.

"In the end, you have to do what makes you happy."

"Have you done that?"

"Yes."

He smiles softly, and moves to walk away, back into the ship. He stops, briefly, before turning to face me again.

"Thank you, little one. You're a brave person, and your I'm proud to call you my friend."

And for once, I don't cringe at the nickname.

#thor odinson #thor love and thunder #x reader #platonic #i'm sad #angsty #conversation #why did i do this #im crying now

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