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anangelwhodidntfall · 2 years

Text

The Lovers: Aemond Targaryen

House of the dragon masterlist

word count: 3k

description: some people are destined to be together

Six years ago...six years ago when everything changed in your life. It had been six years since you last saw or heard from Aemond after he lost an eye due to your younger brothers and cousins getting into a fight over the rights to your aunt Laenea's dragon Vhagar. You had been with your grandfather Ser Corlys listening to his tales about his time on the water when it all happened and you had been brought in by the queen and everyone to solidify your brother's side or take Aemond's like you were supposed to since you two were betrothed to him in hopes to stop all the fighting between the two families and when you sided with your brother's a literal fight broke out and your engagement to Aemond was called off which hurt because Aemond was your first love and the one you saw a future with.

"Fine you wanna side with your bastard brothers then go ahead! I don't need you anyways." He said.

"Aemond, please...I love you but this wasn't the way to claim Vhagar." You tried pleading with him but it only upset him more.

"I don't love you, now go and never come back." he said as the tears fell down your face.

And that was the last time you saw him, and the last time you ever opened your heart up to someone instead of choosing to study under your grandfather and stepfather who both loved you dearly as if they were your own and were determined to make you a warrior. You were currently stuck at dragonstone as your grandfather didn't want you fighting in this war with him yet, instead wanting you to be there for your family.

You were out reading by Seasmoke who you claimed and bonded with after your "father" Laenor died which you knew wasn't true and that he needed to disappear in order for your mother to gain the strength that she needed to take the iron throne. You knew that Laenor wasn't your actual father and while he did treat you as his own, you knew that Ser Harwin was your in fact biological dad which wasn't hard to figure out since he did a lot of things that a father would do for their kids, and when you confronted your mother about the truth she told you the truth and was shocked at how calm you were when she told you.

"Y/N, we need to talk." Daemon said making you look up at him.

"What is it Daemon?" You asked him as you shut your book.

"We have to go to Kings landing, Vaemond is trying to make a claim on driftmark." He said as you looked at him confused as to why it had anything to do with you.

"Okay, but why do I have to go? It has nothing to deal with me." You said not wanting to go back to that awful place.

"Because the legitimacy of your brothers will be brought up and it will look suspicious if you aren't there." Daemon said.

"But what about grandfather?" You asked.

"He's too sick right now, the greens are running everything now." He said as you sighed, you really didn't want to see Aemond after that day, after all the mean things he said to you.

"You know I would never let anything happen to you, right?" he asked softly reaching for your hand, you may have not been his biological kid but he saw a lot of himself in you.

"I know you wouldn't. I'll come for everyone's sake." You said leaning your head against Seasmoke who purred at you.

A week later you all were back in Kings Landing and you were already so ready to go back home. You had to stifle a laugh when no one came to greet you because you knew that nobody was going to, but soon you and your little brothers were led to go to watch Ser Criston which made you roll your eyes.

"I don't want to see that cunt." You said not realizing you said it out loud which earned a laugh from daemon who quickly gave you a look to play nice.

"Come on sis." Luke said grabbing your hand something he did when he was nervous as you guys were lead to the training yard while your parents went to see the king.

"What's your problem?" Jace asked him while looking at all the weapons that they had for training.

"Everyone's staring at us," Luke replied, fidgeting.

"So?" Y/N scoffed.

"No one would question me being heir to Driftmark... if... if I looked more like Ser Laenor Velaryon than Ser Harwin Strong." You stared at him in disappointment. you understood what he felt and how Vaemond's claims made all of them look yet that did not make you feel less sad.

"It doesn't matter what they think." Jace reminded him before you could say anything.

Their conversation was interrupted by the cheering crowd behind them. As they approached in curiosity, they saw Ser Criston fighting with a man with long silver hair. In all honesty, it was impressive but you instantly knew who it was.

"Well done, my Prince," Criston congratulated him. "You'll be winning tourneys in no time."

"I don't give a shit about tourneys." The man turned around to face them, it was Aemond.

"Nephews, niece... have you come to train?" He asked them keeping his eye on you, taking in how beautiful you've gotten in the last six years since he saw you. If only things had gone their way that night, he wouldn't have had to live without you these past six years.

"Like I would need to be trained by you." you thought with a roll of your eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Aemond.

The air in the throne room felt tense.

"I hereby reaffirm Prince Lucerys of House Velaryon as heir to Driftmark, the Driftwood Throne, and the next Lord of the Tides." The King had appeared, surprising everyone. Y/N smiled at her grandfather's strength, she knew he was in so much pain but he loved his daughter and his grandchildren. "And, in addition, I declare that Prince Aemond and Princess Y/N are still betrothed and will be wed before the next full moon."

Your knuckles turned white from how hard you had been gripping your dagger after what your grandfather said as you looked at Aemond. While you once wanted nothing more than to marry Aemond, now you wanted nothing more than be away from him as everything he said to you six years ago was still fresh in your mind. Aemond was filled with hope and pride knowing that he was still going to get his dream girl after all these years, he looked over at you and was finding it hard to read your face. You were both so concentrated on each other that a yell from Vaemond Velaryon snapped them out of your thoughts.

"Her children are bastards!" You held onto Jace's arm, knowing that he was capable of throwing himself on top of Vaemond to beat him.

"And she... is... a whοre." He said looking at your mother.

The crowd behind them gasped. This was the highest of treasons and he said it all in front of the king.

"I... will have your tongue for that." Very threatened him, but Daemon had other plans.

He sliced off his head with Darksister. You pulled luke into your arms not wanting him to see such a graphic scene as you looked at the scene in front of you.

"He can keep his tongue." Daemon said rejoining your mother.

Aemond was shocked to find you looking back at him barely flinching when Vaemond's head got sliced off, most girls would've flinched but not you. Oh, he had some much to learn about you and he couldn't wait.

Viserys had requested to have a family dinner.

You entered the dining room behind your parents. Alicent and her children were already there, waiting for them.

"Y/N, dear, you can sit here." The Queen called to you as you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

Your was a seat next to Aemond's. Y/N flashed a look of annoyance to her father before walking towards them. Aemond was once again staring at her every move. She sat next to him quietly. Helaena grabbed her hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze. Lucerys was right at the other end of the table with Rhaena. They both smiled at her as if to say everything would be alright.

"You look beautiful," Aemond whispered in your ear.

"No matter how much you compliment or kiss my ass, nothing will make up for what you did six years ago." You said staring him dead in the eye.

You weren't focusing on what was being said during the toast. Instead, she was trying to figure out why Viserys wanted her to marry Aemond, he knew why it was called off and why Aemond was trying to be so nice to her after what he said to her all those years.

A hard bang on the table made her snap out of her thoughts. Jace had stood up in anger, trying to control himself. Aemond also stood up, daring him to do something. He gave a toast in honor of his uncles. Luke was biting his cheek to hold back his laugh, all the memories of them being children filling his mind.

Helaena stood up next. "I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena. They'll be married soon. It isn't so bad. Mostly he just ignores you... except sometimes when he's drunk."

Your eyes widened at what she said. You felt pity for her, Helaena was kind and she did not deserve to be married to Aegon. He was not a good man. Aemond was carefully studying Y/N. Her expressions, her movements, the subtle shake of her hand when she reached for her cup. It had been so long since he saw her last and he wanted to make up for the lost time but didn't know how when she was still mad at him.

Jace stood up again, asking Helaena to dance with him. Aemond watched as you sat there twirling your steak knife in your hand as a small smile appeared on your face watching your brother and Helanea dance. A servant sat a cooked pig right next to Aemond, Luke was giggling quietly at this as you looked at it shocked remembering the incident as kids where Aegon and your brothers brought him a pig since he didn't have a dragon.

"Luke!" you hissed not believing he was starting shit already as Aemond looked at you in shock.

Aemond hit the table before standing up. "Final tribute. To the health of my nephews: Jace... Luke... and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise... hm... strong. Come, let us drain our cups to these three... Strong boys." The room fell quiet after this.

"I dare you to say that again," Jace threatened him.

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment. Do you not think yourself Strong?" Aemond asked.

Before anyone had time to react, you had Aemond pinned to the table with a knife pressed against his throat as he stared at you in shock, so much you wanted to say to your brothers as well but didn't.

"Princess, let him go." Otto said as you looked at your parents who nodded their heads at you as you finally let him.

“Go to your quarters. All of you go, now.” Rhaenyra ordered.

They all walked out, Y/N getting ahead of her siblings, not wanting to speak about what had happened. You went to your room slammed the door and slid down it with tears in your eyes as you processed everything that happened, how was aemond nice to you one minute and then insulting you and your brothers the next? It didn't make any sense to you. Once you finished crying, you snuck down the dragon pit to go sit with Sea smoke for a bit, who lifted his head once he saw you.

"Hey boy." You said scratching his neck and earning a purr from him.

After getting an earful from his mom about him insulting you and your brothers, he went to find you, first checking your room and when he didn't get an answer he became a little worried because where were you at this time at night? But once he found out from a maid that you snuck down to the dragon pit, a smile formed on his face, it was one of the few places you two used to hang out when you were younger. He walked down to dragon pit, and stopped once he heard your voice.

"Oh sea, am I destined to be alone? I just don't understand why he treats me this way....I loved him and he keeps hurting me like I feel bad for what happened to him six years ago and I know my brothers were in the wrong to hurt him but in all honesty, he should've waited to make a claim on Vhagar, why doesn't he understand that?" you said making his heartbreak as sea smoke purred at you.

"I know I'm not alone....it's just that it would be nice to have the love my parents and grandparents have and not be in some loveless marriage..part of me still loves him and never got over him no matter how much he hurt me over the years..I wish he still felt the same." You said sadly as you heard the sound of footsteps approaching making you turn and see Aemond.

"What do you want Aemond?" You asked annoyed as he placed his cloak around your shoulders, which brought you a little bit of warmth.

"I was hoping we could talk sweetheart, about everything including what you said." He said taking a seat next to you.

"It's true if you were wondering...all of it." You said quietly.

"Can I ask why? I was so horrible that night, and I look like a monster. how could you still love me?" He asked softly making you look him in the eye.

"My love, you may be a lot of things but a monster is not one of them. This scar is just a reminder of how brave you were that night to claim one of the biggest dragons in the seven kingdoms and yes you did say hurtful things to me but that doesn't mean I stopped loving you." You said softly running your hand over the scar under his eye patch.

"I never stopped loving you either...i wanted to reach out and apologize and make amends with you, to fix our relationship but all I could think about was how much I hurt you or how you wouldn't love me like this. But then when you came back to court and I saw how beautiful you had gotten, I knew I had to make amends and when Viserys had announced that we were still be wed, I was happy because then at least I could spend there rest of my life making amends to you for what I did." He said pressing a kiss to your palm before he undid his eye patch.

"Your beauty never scared me, my love." You said looking at him in both eyes.

"Sweetheart, I would like to try this again, how do you feel about that?" He asked you feeling hopeful about your answer.

"I would like that a lot, but you gotta promise that you will try to get along with my brothers and you don't expect me to be a typical housewife, I must admit the sea has become my second love." You said to him as he laughed.

"I will try and as for you being my wife, whatever you decide to do, I will be right beside you while you do it. I love you Y/n." He said pressing a kiss to your lips.

"I love you Aemond." You said wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his shoulder.

#aemond targaryen support squad #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen x reader #house of the dragon

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finelinevogue · 3 years

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Can we get some more brother!harry?

I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️

of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;

Natalia.

Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.

Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.

You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.

“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.

“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.

“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.

“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.

“But she’ll be there.”

“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”

“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.

“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”

“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.

“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.

You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;

“She just wants attention.”

The restaurant was very pretty.

It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.

“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.

“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.

“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”

You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.

“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.

“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.

“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.

“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.

“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.

“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.

“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.

“N-no I was just—”

“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.

“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.

“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.

“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.

“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.

“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.

“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.

Lunch went by slowly.

Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.

“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.

“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.

“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.

“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.

“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.

“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.

“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?

“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.

“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”

“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”

“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”

“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”

“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.

“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.

“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.

“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.

Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.

You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.

You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.

“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.

“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.

“Ye—”

“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.

“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.

“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.

“What has she said to you, because—”

“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.

“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.

“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.

“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.

“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.

“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”

“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.

“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.

“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”

With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #finelinevogue harry styles #finelinevogue #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #harry blurb #harry styles x sister!reader #harry styles sister concept #harry styles sister #harry styles masterlist #finelinevogue blurbs #ask finelinevogue #ask harry styles #anon response #anon #harry styles angst #harry styles sister angst blurb

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rebeccccccaaa · 3 years

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𝚃𝚠𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢

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𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍: ANON Hey you ❤️ Could I request an imagine with Bucky where you are his non-avenger girlfriend but you got really distant towards him lately as you found out you're pregnant and you're scared of his reaction? But then he finds out and is all happy and all other avengers are happy for you and insist on taking care of you and it's just all fluffy ? Thank you a lot ❤️

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: really fluff smut 18+ (praise, daddy kink, slight mommy kink?, breeding kink, oral fem!rec, age gap, etc), slight angst, cw: mentions of eating disorders (no one has one but bucky thinks this)

𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛’𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: listen…. The idea of kids and having kids getting pregnant all that jazz, yeah. It fucking terrifies me! LOL! But nonetheless I really do see the appeal and sometimes i catch myself reading these kinds of fics so i really hope you like it anon! :)

PS: updates are going to slow down cuz i don’t have any drafts ready for upload and also things are a little crazy personally so yeah hope y’all understand :)

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“You like that baby?” Bucky groaned in your ear.

“Yes daddy! Oh my god,” you moaned.

“You’re being such a good little girl for your daddy. Fuck, daddy. You're gonna make me a daddy. I’m gonna come inside you and you’re gonna get all swollen and round with my baby. You want that? You wanna be a mommy; make me a daddy?”

Bucky and you both expressed in the past that kids were something you both wanted but with Bucky still heavily involved with missions and the avengers, and you were in college studying to get a PhD in biomechanics and computer engineering, something that would let you understand and work with Bucky specifically very closely. You were too young to have a baby but that didn’t stop you from playing into fantasies of having a family with the man you were so in love with.

“Daddy,” you moaned.

“Give it to me, baby,” you looked him into his eyes.

Bucky kissed you hard as you both came and after cleaning yourselves up you had showered together, ate dinner quickly, and soon went to bed.

That was two months ago.

Three weeks after that night, Bucky was gone for about two weeks on a mission with Steve. You and the girls were drinking wine but you opted out for the tempting glasses feeling nauseous that entire week.

As a joke, the girls were saying you were pregnant but you were sure that you and Bucky were always cautious when having sex. It wasn’t a good time to have a baby. So you joked that all three of you should take a pregnancy test and when yours came out positive you freaked out.

“Oh my god! Bucky’s gonna kill me!” you panicked.

“Hey, relax. It’s ok,” Nat comforted you.

“We can get through this. Now did Bucky explicitly say he doesn’t want kids?” Wanda asked.

“No, we both want kids it’s just, ugh, life is so fucking crazy right now and I’m still in school, Bucky’s going on missions all the time. It’s just not a good time to have a baby.”

“Ok think about it this; if life for us was normal, as boring as that is, would Bucky be upset if you were pregnant?” Nat reasoned.

“No, he would be so happy. He wants to be a dad, it’s just so sudden,” you said in distress.

“It’s always sudden with this situation. But what’s more important is that you have support. Whatever your decision is in the end we'll all support you, even Bucky,” Nat told you.

Bucky came back home and immediately knew that there was something that was upsetting you. You promised him that you were alright but you were conflicted. You tried to tell him, you really did, but there wasn’t a good time.

One night Bucky tried to initiate sex when you two had the tower to yourselves. You were instantly distant with him afraid he’d take one look at your naked body and know you were pregnant and that freak you out.

“Baby, are you ok?” Bucky asked that night.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel good,” you didn’t actually lie, the pregnancy did affect your appetite drastically and many foods you used to adore before were repulsive to you.

“Oh ok, do you need anything?” he was concerned.

“No, I think I’m ok.”

Now present day, you and Bucky hadn’t had sex since. It’s been a little over two months and Bucky wasn’t frustrated per say but he missed you; he missed having his hands on your warm and soft skin. He missed the way you squirmed under him and the little whimpers you made. How good your walls felt as he thrusted in and out of you torturously slow.

You two were in the kitchen sitting with some of the other team members. So far only Nat and Wanda knew about your pregnancy as hard as it was to not tell Vision or Steve or literally anyone. You stared at the breakfast sitting in front of you; it used to be your favorite but looking at it and smelling it was making you extremely nauseous.

“Baby?” Bucky rubbed your back.

“Hm?”

“Why aren’t you eating? It’s your favorite,” he said.

“I’m not too hungry,” you said.

Bucky wasn’t convinced but because you were in front of other people he didn’t want you to feel embarrassed like a father scolding a teenager. His hand rested on your thigh and immediately felt your leg tense up.

You retracted and stood up walking away without saying a word and Bucky was confused and followed you quickly shoving as much food in his mouth as he could and tossed his plate in the sink.

“What’s going on with them?” Steve asked.

“Oh no are they gonna break up?” Sam asked with genuine concern, as much as he fucked around with Buck he did admire your relationship. You are really good for him and he loved you unconditionally.

“No, it’s just-” Wanda started.

“Wanda,” Nat warned.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” she rolled her eyes, “There fine. Y/n’s just not feeling well and she doesn’t want to be bothered.”

Bucky walked into your shared room and found you changing into yet another hoodie. That’s when he started piecing things together; or at least he thought. You were always wearing very big clothing and covering your body; that he thought was the most beautiful he’d ever laid eyes on. You were constantly nauseous and refused to eat even some of your favorites dishes and meals. You wouldn’t let him touch even though he’s initiated a couple of times.

“Y/n?” Bucky asked.

“What?” you played dumb.

“Y/n, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I told you I don’t feel good.”

“That seems to be your excuse a lot.”

“What does that mean?” you asked.

“Y/n, be honest with me. Are you starving yourself?” he had tears in his eyes; he couldn’t even think about you doing this to yourself.

“What! Bucky no! I’m not, ugh, just,” you stuttered.

“What is going on, please tell me, baby?”

“I’m pregnant!”

Silence. Bucky was shocked. You were pregnant? How long? Why didn’t you tell him?

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” you started crying.

“No, no, no, no, don’t cry babygirl,” Bucky hugged you tightly while you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m happy, I’m really happy and excited for us. We’re gonna be a family,” he smiled.

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know, I know we talk about this and having a family but not now. I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“Well, I’m a bit bummed that you didn’t tell when you found out but no; I’m so happy. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I would do anything for you. I’m gonna be here every step of the way and we’re gonna get through this together, ok?”

“Ok,” you sniffled.

“Are you ok? Do you need anything?” Bucky already started going into protective dad mode and he just found out.

“No I just need you,” you whispered.

“God, I love you,” Bucky picked you up and laid you on the bed littering your face in kisses.

“Does anyone else know?” he asked you.

“Well, uh, the girls,” you said.

“You told the girls?”

“Well, they were drinking and i declined because I was feeling sick and they joked that I was pregnant so we all took pregnancy tests as a joke but mine came out positive. I took two more and they were all positive,” you started tearing up.

“Hey don’t cry, it’s ok.”

“Sorry,” you laughed.

“We’re gonna be ok, right baby?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I love you.”

Bucky leaned down again and pressed kisses to your neck making you giggle. His warm hands trailed under your shirt making your skin burst into chills. Bucky’s lips continued their assault on your neck and before you knew Bucky started lifting your sweater over your head.

You did the same to Bucky and your chests were pressed against each other instantly as he kissed you hard. Bucky trailed kisses down your body slowly, hands rubbing your skin softly, lips staying longer than usual around your stomach for obvious reasons.

Bucky peeled your sweats from your body and didn’t hesitate to dive in. His tongue licking a long strip against your pussy. You moan softly and your hips wiggled under him. He pressed down on you to keep you from squirming but you were getting very close to your orgasm and it just felt too good.

Bucky brought his fingers and circled your entrance before inserting a finger slowly. He looked up at you moaning at his fingers and this encouraged Bucky to insert another one. His fingers slipped in and out with ease with your arousal practically dripping from you.

Bucky leaned forward and circled his tongue around your clit. The obsecene sounds of Bucky finger fucking you echoed in the room and you finallly climax, cumming all over his finger. Bucky crawled up your tired body after taking his pants and boxers off.

Bucky didn’t bother putting a condom considering you’ve been his only partner the past couple years and he got you pregnant. He pumped his cock a few times before grabbing your legs to wrap around his waist and easily slipped between your folds.

“Fuck, baby girl. You feel so good,” Bucky moaned in your ear.

“Oh shit, yes,” you whimpered.

“Oh you’re gonna be so beautiful when you're all big and swollen, shit. You’re gonna be the sexiest mommy in this whole fucking world.”

“Ugh! And you’re gonna be such a sexy daddy,” you smirked and cupped his face.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately. He thrusted into you harder and your back arched into his chest, moaning high pitched and loudly. Your hands tugged on his hair and Bucky groaned in your mouth.

“Oh Buck, I’m gonna come,”you said against his lips.

“Let go, baby. Come for me, mommy,” Bucky said.

You came hard; your body contracted and trembled, your stomach tightened, your toes curled, and your legs pulled Bucky deep inside you, hot spurts of his cum coating your walls. Bucky settled on you but bounced back afraid he was crushing the baby.

He went to the bathroom, well practically sprinted, and returned with a warm towel to clean you up. Your body laid still while you were cleaned and you just watched Bucky with adoration. He left again and returned wearing boxers and held a bottle of your favorite lotion that you usually saved for special nights or for Tony’s parties.

You smiled and got comfortable as Bucky poured some lotion in his hand. His hands spread the lotion evenly on your body; thumbs skimming your sensitive nipples, gently caresses all over your stomach, teasing grazes along your inner thighs. You closed your eyes and felt euphoria.

The love of your life was really pampering you and you felt so good.

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too,” Bucky kissed your forehead, crawling into the bed with you.

“Let’s stay in all day. My girl is pregnant and she’s gonna need all the rest she can get,” Bucky joked.

“But what about-”

“No, who cares,” bucky interrupted.

“But-”

“No buts.”

“What are we gonna tell the rest of the team?”

“Oh, well. It’s your body, your comfort. You tell them when you feel it’s best. But I do hope it’s soon because I’m so happy and I don’t think i'd be able to keep this a secret for long,” Bucky dived his head in your neck making you laugh.

“Ok,” you whispered.

“Man, I’m gonna be a dad,” Bucky sighed happily.

“You’re gonna be daddy,” you said innocently.

“I’m already your daddy,” he playfully growled.

“Then you’re gonna be two types of daddy,” you smirked.

“Two types of daddy.”

=======================

TAGLIST:

@mathletemadison

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the-cult-of-russo · 3 years

Text

The Other Woman

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Soooo. No one asked for this one and I have prompts in my inbox and a multi chapter Billy x OC story I'm working on. Yet… this happened. I was working on an assignment for uni and this popped into my head. Billy lives in my head rent free and I'm not even mad about it. Enjoy lmaooo

Warnings: cursing, slight angst but not really, lots of fluff (literally and figuratively). It's just a bunch of cute bullshit, don't mind me looool

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Your nails tapped the coffee cup as you sat outside the cafe deep in thought. There was only one thing on your mind. Billy was cheating on you. There was no other explanation for his behaviour the past week and the knowledge of what he'd done was eating away at you. It started a week ago. He'd slip out after work hours saying something came up. Sometimes he wouldn't even tell you where he was going and when you asked, he'd say 'work' as he avoided your gaze before slipping out. Billy couldn't lie to you, you knew him too well for that. You knew his tells and he didn't really lie to you. But you knew when he wouldn't look you in the eye that he wasn't being honest.

Then there was his phone. He'd be on it more than usual and it was distracting him. The night before, Frank had called him and you knew it was Frank because you'd seen the name popping up on his screen. You'd both been watching a movie on the sofa together as you tried to convince yourself that Billy wouldn't cheat on you. But when he excused himself to the bedroom, your curiosity burned. Why would he need to sneak off to speak to Frank?

So you'd crept over to where the door was open by a crack and held your breath as you listened.

"Yeah, I know…. I'll just tell her I need to work again… I don't think she knows… yeah, yeah, I know… I can't wait for you to meet her, man. She's perfect,"

Those words felt like a slap to the face and a punch to the gut all rolled into one. Billy was cheating on you. Billy was cheating on you and Frank knew about it. Frank who was one of your closest friends, the one who introduced you to Billy in the first place. You'd gone back to the sofa as you dwelled in your misery and betrayal and when Billy had come back out with a wide smile on his face you'd felt sick. But you couldn't bring yourself to ask him, to question him or tell him what you'd heard. You were scared of what he might say. Scared of what this all meant.

You and Billy had been together for almost two years now and you lived together. You knew of his past but never once had you felt insecure about being with him. He loved you, and you wholeheartedly believed he did. So this felt like it completely blindsided you and your head was all over the place.

That morning Billy was gone by the time you woke which was nothing new since he often let you sleep when he got up to work. But you'd come to the cafe by lunch because you were drowning in your thoughts back at home. The home you shared with him.

You blew out a breath, grabbing your cell from your pocket as you rang Anvil. You had a gut feeling and you wanted confirmation. His secretary picked up the phone and you sighed before asking something you dreaded the answer to.

"Hey, Annie. Is Billy there? I need to talk to him," you said softly. The older woman cleared her throat down the phone before speaking.

"He's not here, Y/N. He took the day off," she said warily. Well then. You thanked her quickly before hanging up, the lump lodged in your throat getting bigger.

How could it all have gone so wrong? You stood, tossing the half drank coffee in the trash as you made your way home with a broken heart. You hardly expected Billy to be sitting on the sofa when you got home. But there he was in all his glory. A burgundy sweater with his jeans and boots, hair slicked back like always. You felt like you were hanging on by a thread.

He smiled when he saw you, standing up and making his way over.

"I thought you had work," your cold tone stopped him in his tracks as he looked at you cautiously.

"I took the day, had some things I needed to do," he replied easily. Things he needed to do. More like someone he needed to do. Tense didn't even begin to cover how you were feeling.

"Look… there's someone here I want you to meet," Billy said hesitantly, glancing to the closed bedroom door. He really wouldn't just… The string of composure you were holding onto snapped.

"Is this some kind of joke?!" You yelled. He looked shocked, eyes wide and confused as he tilted his head.

"Uh… what?" He asked carefully.

"It's bad enough you're having an affair that apparently Frank knows all about but you've brought her here?! You want me to meet her?!" You were incredulous at his audacity. You wondered if he'd suffered a head injury a week ago or something.

Billy blinked at you with his dark eyes for a moment before he burst out laughing. But when he saw your tearful eyes glaring at him, his laughter died instantly.

"You… you think I'm cheatin' on you?" He asked slowly, like he was talking to a toddler. Your brows furrowed watching him warily as he walked over to you.

"You've been acting weird all week, Billy. And I heard you on the phone last night. I heard you talking to Frank," you muttered, hating how your voice wobbled.

Billy looked stricken at how upset you were and wrapped his arms around you and you melted into him despite yourself. He stroked your hair soothingly with one hand as the other rubbed your back.

"I'm not steppin' out on you, Y/N. I'd never do that," he sighed. He moved away, cradling your cheeks as his obsidian gaze looked over your face like he was searching for the answers of the universe.

"Not gonna lie, I'm a little offended by your lack of faith, but I have been actin' weird so I'll let it slide," he murmured with a soft smile.

"But then… what was that all about?" You asked, deflating a bit as he wiped away the couple of tears that had fallen. He leaned in and kissed you softly, one of the rare tender kisses he'd give you if you were upset. You were incredibly confused and maybe also felt a little guilty that your mind went there.

When he pulled away, he shot you a grin, looking almost like a kid on Christmas which only furthered your confusion.

"Wait here," he beamed, dashing off to the bedroom. You really felt like you'd been transported to another dimension where nothing made sense. But then Billy came back out with what you could only describe as a living, breathing, real life Pokemon in his arms. It was a Pomeranian puppy that just looked like a cloud with two shiny back eyes peeking out.

You made a noise that you couldn't even describe. A mix of a whine and a coo that people often reserved for cute animals and babies as if they couldn't help themselves. Your feet took you over to where Billy was grinning at you and the ball of fluff was nibbling his hand.

"Billy…" your voice was still a little high, a little pout on your face as you reached out and stroked the fluffy fur on the puppy.

"Meet Cotton Ball. Cotton Ball, meet your mom," he smirked, grabbing a tiny paw and making it wave at you. It was something to behold seeing Billy like this and you almost melted right into a puddle.

"Wait so… this is the other woman?" You asked with a snort, feeling so utterly stupid for how your mind went there. Billy rolled his eyes with a laugh as he handed over the bundle of cloud to you.

"Do you like her?" He asked hesitantly, looking almost unsure as he glanced from the puppy to you.

"I love her. Thank you, Billy," you murmured, cuddling the tiny puppy closer to you.

"I uh… I know that you said you wanted a dog," he started, his shoulder rolling a little.

"Which you shot down immediately," you cut in, raising a brow at him. He chuckled, rubbing his beard a little with a nod.

"I know. But… I saw how disappointed you were and I decided I never wanted to see that look on your face again. Especially not 'cause of me. She hadn't been fully vaccinated and stuff so I've been waitin' to bring her home. Been to see her a few times to get her used to me," he shrugged, looking almost bashful which was a strange look for him. It was cute.

"I love her. And I love you," you smiled wide at him. His insecurities seemed to wash away at your bright smile and he returned it, leaning over to kiss your forehead.

"I love you too. Come here, lemme show you somethin','' he took your free hand and led you to the bedroom. On the floor next to your bed was what looked like a queen bed shrunk down. It was a dog bed but a fancy one and the cozy sheets looked expensive too. There was also a basket filled to the brim with dog toys. You looked at him incredulously with a laugh.

"And here I was thinking you weren't a dog person and you're spoiling her already," you teased. He chuckled, a slight pink tint to his face you couldn't remember ever witnessing as he bit his lip and smiled at you.

"Yeah well… my girls gotta have the best. And… I mighta got attached to her," he shrugged easily.

"Billy Russo has a heart after all. Who knew?" You snorted. He gripped your jaw gently, giving your lips a firm peck before smirking down at you.

"Don't tell a soul or I'll have to kill you. I got a rep to keep," he smirked devilishly. You snorted again, shaking your head as you took the now sleeping puppy to her lavish bed and set her down.

When you walked back over to Billy, you wrapped your arms around his middle and he responded in kind and held you close.

"I can't believe you thought I'd cheat on you," he murmured, nuzzling your hair. You felt your cheeks heat up as you moved away and looked up at him.

"I know. I'm sorry, I just… you'd been acting weird and then the phone call, I didn't know what to think," you said softly. He frowned a little, tucking some of your hair behind your ear before resting a hand on your jaw.

"You know I love you, right?" He asked with a furrowed brow.

"I know. Honestly… I've never questioned it. I've never felt like that before. My mind just ran away with itself," you felt bad now and really fucking stupid but he had been acting weird. How were you to know that he was secretly procuring you the cutest puppy to exist?

He kissed your forehead softly, lips lingering a moment before he cupped your cheeks, tilting your head to look up at him. His dark eyes were full of many emotions and you got lost in them.

"You're the only one I want. Ever since I met you, I never wanted anyone else. I ain't ever felt like this before but all I know is… I'm yours. I love you, Y/N. There'll never be anyone else," he murmured sincerely. You couldn't help the dopey smile on your face as you leaned up and captured his lips in a soft kiss.

"I love you too, Billy. But… I will have to share you now with Cotton Ball," you teased against his lips. He chuckled, nipping at your bottom lip.

"You'll always be my best girl," he grinned, rubbing his nose against yours.

One hand dropped to your neck, the other slinking around you and settling on your ass as he kissed you deeply. Just as you were really getting into it, he hissed, cursing and moving away as he lifted his foot. The foot that had tiny razor teeth latched onto it as the dog dangled off his toe. You couldn't help the bubble of laughter that came out of you as you pried the dog away from his foot.

"Feel like I might end up regrettin' this decision," he huffed, eyes narrowed at Cotton Ball who was now happily in your arms. He wasn't really mad though, his lips were slightly upturned as he reached out and rubbed the dogs tiny head.

"Awww. Is the big bad marine scared the lil doggy might bite his ass when he's having sex?" You mocked playfully.

Billy's mortified face had you in stitches. He looked like he'd not considered it until you said it and now he was glaring at the dog like she'd ready done it.

"We're gonna need some boundaries," he muttered to the dog as he pointed at her, then his piercing eyes turned to you and you bit your lip to stifle your laughter.

"And for the record, I am a big bad marine and I ain't scared of a fuckin' dog," he smirked with a raised brow. You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly as you turned, dog in hand, and left the room.

"Mhmm. Just wait until I tell Frank how you're scared of a ball of fluff. Or the guys from Anvil. Or maybe I'll tell them just how much you love her already," you grinned, laughing when he gripped your hips and dragged you so your back pressed against his front.

"What I tell you? You tell and I'll have to kill you. I don't wanna do that, I might just miss you," he murmured with a smile as he nuzzled your neck.

"Russo's going soooft!" You teased with a laugh, squealing when his hands dug into your sides to tickle you.

Honestly, you never really thought Billy would be a dog person. But you never thought he'd be the type to live with someone and here you were. You never thought he'd be the type to use the L word yet he did with you. He was full of surprises and this was way better than you anticipated. You never expected the other woman to be so cute.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo imagine

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laxuscouldnever · 3 years

Text

Ushijima Wakatoshi x Setter!Reader

Today was the day of the Karasuno vs. Shiratorizawa match. The Shitatorizawa boys' volleyball team were anxiously waiting for their bus to stop at the gymnasium.

"I can't believe they beat Aoba Josai. It's kinda unbelievable," Goshiki said.

"Yeah, I know. The first time they played them, Karasuno got crushed," Shirabu stated.

"All we have to do is crush their little dreams and take the win. It's easy," Tendou taunted from the seat in front of them.

Y/N rolled his eyes while listening to the conversation.

"Are you nervous about facing your brother?" Ushijima asked from beside him.

"Hm. A little, but I'm sure he'll do great," Y/N said.

"Maybe you should be a captain like him, since I won't be here next year." Y/N looked at the older boy.

"Pfft. Yeah right! As if I could keep these losers under control!" Y/N laughed.

"Alright, everyone! We're here. Game faces on!" Saitou yelled over the voices. The boys gathered their things and headed off the bus. Y/N winced at the bright light as he stepped off the bus.

"You alright, Y/N?" Goshiki asked, concerned.

"Y-Yeah. My head just hurts a little. I'll be fine." Y/N said, faking a smile.

Y/N had gotten a concussion about a week ago, and wasn't suppose to play for 2 weeks, but he was the starting setter. Both coaches and Ushijima practically forced him to play, or he wouldn't be joining them in nationals when they won. He didn't really want to be here, but he did what he had to do.

Y/N followed the team into the building, his head pounding. The boys gathered into the locker room to change into their uniforms.

"Are you sure you're alright, Y/N?" Goshiki asked.

"He's fine, stop asking," Ushijima butted in. Goshiki didn't look truly convinced, but he let it go and left the locker room.

Y/N was the last one to join the team and they hurried to the gymnasium to warm-up. When they walked in, he immediately searched for his older brother.

"Daichi!" he yelled, waving. Daichi looked up and smiled, waving back.

"Now isn't the time to talk to the enemy," Ushijima scolded, shoving Y/N to the side.

"R-Right," he stuttered, giving one last look to his brother.

Ushijima kept giving Y/N dirty looks every time he spoke to Daichi. Daichi would notice and point it out to his little brother.

"Does he always look at you like that?" Y/N turned his head and saw Ushijima staring him down.

"He doesn't want me talking to you until after the game." Daichi chuckled.

"Anyways, how are you feeling? I'm surprised you're playing today." Daichi was such an overprotective brother, he always had been. He was really hoping that Y/N would come to Karasuno, just so he could keep an eye on him.

Y/N had met Ushijima after running into him, literally, during one of his jogs. He noticed that Ushijima was wearing a jacket from Shiratorizawa and asked him about the school. After his talk with Ushijima, he knew that he wanted to attend Shiratorizawa.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a small headache." Daichi looked at his brother, concern written all over his face.

"Stop looking at me like that! I'll be fine. Just worry about not sucking," Y/N winked at Daichi before running to join the rest of his team.

"Little brat..." Daichi mumbled under his breath, jokingly of course.

"Do you listen to anything I say? Or do you just hear noise when I talk?" Ushijima said as Y/N stood next to him.

"He's my brother. Am I not allowed to speak to him?" Y/N snapped. Ushijima grunted and went back to practicing his spikes, as if he needed practice.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will now be announcing each team's starting players." the voice over the loud speaker announced. The announcer went through Karasuno's lineup, and announced Ushijima's name.

"Number 10, Sawamura Y/N." Y/N runs out, a smile on his face and waving to the crowd. He takes his spot and stands proudly.

When the game started, everything was going smooth. Ushijima was getting hits in and they were scoring points. But when the fourth set finished, the whole team was on edge. Y/N could tell Ushijima was stressed, even with his unemotional expression.

When the ball went into the air, Y/N put his hands up for a set. He made contact, but the ball was short and Ushijima wasn't able to hit it. Daichi looked over to his brother and knew he was on the edge of losing it. He could hear the harsh criticism from Ushijima and the coach towards his brother.

After passing the ball back and forth, Shiratorizawa was able to score and another point and were serving. Y/N stood in the serving position. He took a deep breath and the referee whistled.

"Serve properly this time," Ushijima said from in front of him.

That's it. I'm sick of this shit, Y/N thought. He tossed the ball in the air and hit it as hard as he could.

The ball definitely didn't make it over the net, but Y/N had hit it exactly where he wanted to. Ushijima rubbed the back of his head and turned around, coming face to face with the angry setter.

"What the hell was that?" he snapped. Y/N took off his jersey and threw it at Ushijima.

"Find yourself a setter who's willing to put up with your shit because it's not me," Y/N said, turned around, and left the gymnasium.

Daichi felt himself take a step forward, but stopped himself. He wanted to go comfort his little brother, but knew he had to finish the match.

Both teams were shocked at the outburst. Y/N was the best setter on Shiratorizawa, and now he was gone. The coach sent out Semi Eita from the sideline to fill Y/N's spot, but the team felt their anxiety sky rocket. Their best setter had just quit when they needed him the most.

The game ended, the final score being 3 to 2, with Karasuno as the winners. The team celebrated on the court and received their medals. Daichi was happy they won, but couldn't get the idea of his little brother angry and upset somewhere else in the building.

The Shiratorizawa walked back to their locker room, heads hung low. When they got there, the rest of Y/N's volleyball uniform was laying on the bench. Ushijima felt bad, really bad. He liked Y/N, he was a great player, but he felt something more for the 2nd year. He sighed. He knew that Y/N leaving was his fault, he shouldn't have pushed him so hard.

"Alright, everyone. Let's head back to the bus and get home," Saitou said and left the locker room, the team following behind him.

As they walked through the main lobby, they saw Y/N sitting with his bag.

"Y/N..." Ushijima started as he walked over to the boy, but he was stopped by Daichi.

"He doesn't want to talk to you," he said, his face hard. Ushijima didn't say anything, he just gave Y/N one last look and walked away.

"Are you alright?" Daichi asked, his face softening. He heard sniffles and turned around, looking at his brother trying his hardest not to cry.

"Hey, it's alright. Please don't cry." Daichi tried to comfort him, but knew that whatever he said wasn't going to matter.

"Are you upset because we won?" Daichi asked.

"N-No. I don't care about that. It's just...." Y/N paused. "I just wish he wasn't such a jerk..." he practically whispered. That's when Daichi realized. His brother liked Ushijima more than a teammate or a friend. The older boy sighed.

"Come on. We can give you a ride back, if you want." Y/N nodded. Daichi grabbed his brother's bag.

"Are you feeling alright? Does your head hurt?" Y/N nodded.

"It's been pounding since I got off the bus," Y/N admitted.

"Why were you playing? Someone else could've taken your spot!" Daichi exclaimed.

"They said if I didn't play today I wouldn't be allowed to play if we made it to nationals," Y/N said as the two walked.

"Is that even legal?" Daichi was pissed. How dare they force someone who can't even think without their heading feeling like it's going to explode play such an important game? Especially his little brother.

The pair walked out of the building and towards the rest of the Karasuno team.

"Is it alright if he rides with us?" Daichi asked.

"Of course." Ukai felt bad for the kid, he was a great player. Him and Ushijima made a great duo, their skills were right on par with each other's.

"I'll sit with coach so you two can sit together." Suga offered.

"Thank you," Daichi said.

Daichi let his brother sit next to the window, so he could rest a little easier. The boy fell asleep almost immediately after he rested his head on his older brother's shoulder.

The ride home was silent, most of the boys had fallen asleep fairly quickly.

"So, Daichi, do you think your brother is gonna stay with Shiratorizawa?" Ukai asked, turning around to face him.

"I'm not sure. I hope he doesn't. They push him too hard. He wasn't even supposed to be playing until next week because he got a concussion." Ukai looked shocked. This kid was still recovering from a concussion and he was part of the reason they had gotten crushed at the beginning of the game. If he had been at the top of his game, they would've lost within the first two sets.

"It'd be nice to have a setter like him on the team. He's like the setter version of Ushijima," Ukai said.

"He practices harder than anyone I've ever met. It was how he even got into Shiratorizawa."

When the bus finally stopped in front of Karasuno, the boys all stumbled out, tired and half-asleep. Y/N went to grab his bag, but Daichi grabbed it before he could.

"I'm not a baby, you know," Y/N said.

"Yeah, I know, but I don't want you to overwork yourself," Daichi said, walking away. Y/N rolled his eyes and followed him.

"I'll wait out here while you guys have your team meeting." Daichi waited for a moment, but nodded and walked into the gymnasium.

As Y/N waited, he saw a figure walking towards the school. He looked closer and saw that it was Ushijima. He sighed and stood up straight, walking to meet him.

"What are you doing here?" Y/N asked when they were standing just a few inches away from each other. Y/N had to look up, as he was only up to Ushijima's chest.

"I came to see how you were doing. I figured your brother would've gotten you a ride with his team." They both went quiet.

"Well, I'm fine," Y/N said, wanting this to be over with.

When Ushijima didn't say anything else, Y/N turned to walk away.

"I'm sorry," Ushijima said from behind him. Y/N turned to face him.

"Are you saying that just to say it or do you actually mean it?" Y/N glared at the older boy.

"I actually mean it. I knew you were out of it and still made you play. That was wrong of me," Ushijima said sincerely. Y/N was taken aback by the amount of emotion in Ushijima's voice.

Y/N looked down at his feet.

"I tried my best today, Toshi. I can only do so much with my head pounding like this." Ushijima loved it when Y/N called him Toshi, although he would never admit it.

"I know. I should've taken your feelings into consideration before I made you play. It's just...you're our best setter and we needed you to win. I guess that didn't really work out the way we thought it would..." Ushijima looked away from the other boy.

"Y/N? Where'd you-" Daichi stepped out of the gymnasium, looking at the two boys.

"I have to go," Y/N said and walked over to Daichi. Ushijima sighed and walked away from the school.

"What did he say? Do you want me to talk to him?" Daichi said angrily.

"Actually, he came to apologize." Daichi let the anger fall from his face.

"It's gonna be okay. Let's get home." Daichi placed his hand on Y/N's back and the two began walking home.

"Is it ok if I go to Karasuno next year?" Y/N asked as they walked.

"Actually, that's something I wanted to talk to you about. I want you to pick a school other than Shiratorizawa. I don't like the way they treat you there." Y/N smiled.

"You're so overprotective, Daichi." Daichi rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, any other school. Even Aoba Josai." Y/N looked at his brother and the concern on his face was like a wave of emotion.

"Yeah. I will." Y/N agreed.

When the boys got home, their parents rushed to congratulate Daichi on their win. They looked over at their younger son.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Are you feeling alright? We saw what happened," their mother said.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I'm gonna shower and head to sleep." Y/N walked into the bathroom and locked the door.

"Is he really alright, Daichi?" his father asked.

"I don't think so. Him and Ushijima were close." Daichi sighed.

"I'm gonna get to sleep, too." his parents nodded and he walked to his room.

The next morning, Daichi decided he would be late to school and walk his brother to Shiratorizawa.

"You didn't have to do this, you know," Y/N said when they arrived in front of the school.

"I know, but I wanted to make sure no one gave you a hard time." Y/N laughed.

"That's such a Daichi thing to do." Daichi smiled at his brother, but it fell when he saw Ushijima staring at them. Daichi cleared his throat.

"I think someone is waiting for you." Y/N turned around and met eyes with Ushijima. He sighed.

"I'm gonna go. Hurry and get to school." Daichi walked away and headed to Karasuno.

Y/N turned and walked to Ushijima.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he said.

"I, uh, I wanted to know if you still wanted to walk to class together," Ushijima asked nervously.

"Why would I want to? So you can criticize me a little more?" Y/N snapped angrily.

"Can we talk? There's something important I need to tell you." Y/N sighed.

"The bell is gonna ring soon," he pointed out.

"I don't care. I really need to talk to you." Y/N was surprised. Ushijima was always on his ass about being on time, yet here he was saying that he didn't care about being late.

The two boys walked behind the school where they could have some privacy.

"What do you need to tell me that's so important?" Ushijima stood up straight.

"I...I like you." he said.

"That's it? That's all you had to say?" Y/N was a little ticked.

"No, I like you. I have feelings for you. I want to be your boyfriend." Y/N was taken aback and felt a blush creep up his face.

"R-Really?" he stuttered.

"Yeah."

Y/N bit his lip. He was embarrassed to tell Ushijima how he feels because he doesn't know how to say it properly. Screw it, he thought. He got on his tip toes and pressed a kiss to Ushijima's lips, which Ushijima reciprocated. They stood there for what felt like forever.

When they pulled away, both boys were slightly panting.

"You could've just told me you like me too," Ushijima said, a teasing smirk on his face.

"I'm more of a doer kind of guy, Toshi," Y/N said, smiling.

When the bell for first period to be over, the students rushed into the halls, but seemed to freeze. The sight of Ushijima and Y/N walking hand in hand through the halls seemed to knock the breath out of them, especially Ushijima's little fangirls.

"Wakatoshi and Y/N are so in loooove..." Tendou taunted, walking next to them.

"S-Shut up." Y/N blushed at his words. Tendou let out a laugh.

The rest of the school day went smoothly. No one said anything to the two boys and no one seemed to be too upset about what happened at the game.

That night, Ushijima walked Y/N home. When they arrived at the residence, Daichi and some of his teammates were sitting in the living room watching TV.

"Hey, Y/N, how was sch-" Daichi stopped talking when he saw Ushijima standing next to his brother. He stood up from his spot on the couch.

"What's he doing here?" Daichi growled. Y/N went to explain, but Ushijima stepped in front of him.

"I'm going to marry your brother one day," he said plainly. Y/N felt his entire face get hot with embarrassment.

"Toshi, you can't say that!" Y/N said. Daichi stares him down.

"Over my dead body," he said through gritted teeth.

"We should go upstairs, Toshi. Let's give them some privacy," Y/N shoved Ushijima towards the stairs.

"Goodnight, Daichi!" he yelled behind him.

"Don't make him mad like that!" Y/N said to a smiling Ushijima on his bed.

"It's funny watching your brother get worked up," he commented. Y/N sighed.

"You're such a pain in the ass." he plopped down on the bed.

"You can stay the night if you want. My parents are out of town and Daichi will be too busy with his friends," Y/N said, laying down on his back.

"I don't mind. We're gonna share a bed right?" Ushijima asked. For what seemed to be the thousandth time that day, Y/N began blushing hard.

"Toshi! That's so inappropriate!" he said loudly. Ushijima laughed.

"I'm kidding!" he said. Ushijima laid down next to Y/N.

"I'm glad I have you," he said sincerely. Y/N looked over and placed a kiss on Ushijima's lips, which quickly turned into a heated make-out session.

They pulled away and rested their foreheads against each other.

"Thank you for giving me a second chance. What I did was wrong and I shouldn't have pushed you." Ushijima let his arm wrap around the younger male's waist.

"Forgive and forget." Y/N smiled at Ushijima.

Y/N reached across the bed and flicked off the lamp. He laid back down and cuddled into Ushijima's chest.

"Goodnight, Toshi," he said, a yawn following close behind.

"Goodnight, Y/N," Ushijima replied, his arm tightening around Y/N's waist. With that, the two boys fell asleep, holding each other.

#ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima #haikyuu!!#ushijima x reader #x reader #male reader #haikyu x reader #hq x reader #angst #fluff

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damnlance · 3 years

Note

Klance angsty prompt 6 please 👀

Klangst Prompt #6

6. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever”

Summary: Lately, Lance has been stressed beyond the point of breaking… The end of the war was 3 years ago and yet, it’s not enough time to pass for Lance to feel better. Not even close. Everyone has always called him a hero. And since the day they landed back on earth, everyone has gone so far to ask for photos and autographs and all that. These days Lance is sick of it.

Or; the pressures of being the ‘savior of earth’ has been building up inside of Lance, causing him to erupt on any and everyone.

Good thing he has his amazing boyfriend.

-there’s a slow start, but I PROMISE it’s klance so just keep reading!

-also galra (kitten) Keith ?? I love him

It all started with a fangirl just a few weeks ago.

Lance decided to walk to his favorite coffee shop one chilly afternoon. He woke up really late and was immediately craving something sweet yet bitter. And since he lives with most of his family, running out of coffee five days after buying a brand new pack of it is very common, especially when no one wants to buy more for whatever reason.

So there Lance was, walking down the street. Hands tucked into his blue lion hoodie (thanks to all the merch the fans of voltron have made over the years), making his way to the closest coffee shop near his home. And then he hears the high pitched squeal of a girl at least 10 feet away from him. Then 9 feet.. then 6.. then 4 because she’s literally running at him with the speed of a hundred cheetahs chasing a gazelle until she’s right there, face to face with Lance.

“Oh my god!!” She yelled, jumping up and down like some 5 year old girl getting a puppy. She was about 5’7, short brown hair and huge blue eyes that almost resembled Lance’s. She wore this giant faux fur coat and beanie to match, and her phone was IN LANCE’S FACE.

She was all over him and it was attracting others to stare their way. Lance tried to calm her down by smiling and using a little of his charm but it was just making the girl fangirl even more. So he took a picture with her to be on his way before the coffee shop got too busy. But she wouldn’t back off. Apparently she wasn’t satisfied with the picture, something about how her eyes were closed? Or how blurry it came out? Lance couldn't remember, he just wanted his coffee.

The girl kept hounding him and following him, demanding that he retake the picture with her. Lance let her down easy, saying how he needed to be someplace important and that he was running late. The girl kept pushing him. Following his every move, right on his heels. Begging, pleading with him to take more pictures because she ‘needed them,’ whatever that meant. Lance tried his hardest to be nice and polite because as a former paladin of voltron and as one of seven someone’s who have saved the entire universe, his image is everything. Without him or his former paladins, there would probably be no earth. So he stopped in his tracks and took a better picture with the girl.

He felt good to see her happy because of something that he had done. Plus he looked really good in that picture, who knew the earth’s natural lighting at 1pm could make his skin look so smooth? Once he gave his approval of the better pic, he was on his way again, hoping that the line to the coffee shop wasn’t even longer now. As he started to fast walk down the busy sidewalk, something yanked him back by the neck and he came crashing down. Literally. He fell right back on his ass and when he looked up, this same crazy girl was looming over him like a mad woman. With his blue hand-knit wool scarf dangling from her grabby hands. The anger that had been simmering in Lance’s gut was at a full blown boil and he was just about ready to explode. So.. he kinda did..

Long and embarrassing story short, Lance yelled at her. He snatched his blue scarf out of her hands so fast, it scared her, and as he rubbed his most likely bruised tailbone, he got in her face and began blaming her for the world's most horrible fan interaction. He was so angry, that he balled his fists, stomped his foot and had veins protruding out of his neck and forehead. He called her names and most likely spit in her face, but he didn’t care. And when he was done, he took a step back and examined the girl in front of him. She was folded in on herself, holding her arms close to her body as her bottom lip quivered and fat, giant tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked so.. mortified. And actually.. scared of him. Like if Lance were to say anything or move a muscle, she’d flinch.

Seconds later, Lance’s face softened into something regretful and he went out to reach for her, to apologize. But, like he knew she would, she flinched. And then hurried away like he was a mad man. All the while crying and clutching her phone to her chest. Lance felt absolutely demolished inside. He tried to go after her but his feet were glued to the cement of the sidewalk. He didn’t even want his coffee anymore.

Thankfully, there were no viral videos or photos or posts about the incident. Lance ended up tracking the girl down a few days later and showered her with all the love he could muster, even taking as many pics as she wanted and liking them on Instagram when she tagged him. But.. something inside him still felt so horrible about the incident. For a moment, Lance had realized that he genuinely hurt that girl for no real reason. He just wanted some coffee but is coffee more important than the people who are thankful and want to show their gratitude for him for everything he did with voltron? If the roles were reversed and he stayed on earth, he would be bending over backwards to let all the paladins know just how thankful he was to live another day on their planet. That girl probably had family, friends, maybe a spouse and kids, and in the midst of that horrible battle 3 years ago, she most likely thought that one of those days would be her last with them.

It broke Lance’s heart thinking about it. He really hurt her. Sure, he made it right and she forgave him, but in that single moment, he actually hurt someone enough to make them cry, to make them run away from him. It was a terrible feeling. It wasn’t Lance. He never wanted that to happen again.

And at the same time.. he.. kinda never wanted to be the savior of earth. Not really.. he just wanted to feel like he had a place in the universe, and to know that he played an important role. That he mattered.

Guess he really matters now..

He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.

Message delivered..

The second he walked through the door, his phone rang. It was a three-way call with Hunk and Pidge. Lance pressed the green button to answer and placed the phone to his ear. Immediately, Hunk starts going on and on about how much he misses Lance and when the next time they’ll see each other will be. Lance smiled at his best friend’s inability to ever take a breath between sentences and replied with a warm ‘I miss you too, buddy.’ They got to catching up as Lance ordered his garlic knots and sat down at a private booth near the back of the place. He didn’t want to draw any attention to himself, especially when he got the call from his best friends.

Hunk tells him all the great things that’s been happening at the Garrison and even on the Atlas. He tells him how his restaurant is doing and how his family is doing and how Shay is doing. Pidge catches him up on things with her family, some new inventions she’s been working on, and how being the youngest teacher at the Garrison is going. Lance listens and gives his two cents on everything his friends tell him and honestly, he couldn’t be more happy for them. The way they were able to just get their lives together 3 years after the war is.. incredible. It made him think about everything he’s done since the war ended. Which wasn’t much.. he took over his family’s farm and brought it back to life, he helps out Colleen, Pidge’s mom, with medicine and finding cures to strange space illnesses with plants she has him grow on his farm, and his family’s market wouldn’t be as popular or swarming with business if he didn’t work there. Sad but true. And that’s really it. He hasn’t done much else. Nothing life changing or breathtaking like his friends.

But Hunk and Pidge don’t need to know that. So he simply replies with: “Oh, ya know.. same old, same old,” and hopes it works enough to keep the conversation flowing and follow up questions at bay. It does.

30 minutes into their conversation and Lance is starting to feel a little.. agitated. With the garlic knots consumed and digesting in his stomach, he sits in the booth, alone, listening to his friends go on and on and on about their perfect jobs and their perfect little lives. He gets lost a few times and at one point has literally no idea what they’re talking about. When he tries to ask what or who or even get the slightest details, Pidge lets out a sigh that Lance can’t help but feel like is out of annoyance. Lance sighs back and continues to stay silent because obviously he’s not getting anywhere. Why even bother putting him on a call that Hunk and Pidge could have just had on their own??

Balling his fist, Lance let out a loud, overdramatic sigh. He didn’t care if his friends heard it or how they took it. He was upset. The conversation between his two friends comes to a halt and then awkward silence. Pidge is the first to speak up with a:

“Something you wanna add, Lance?” The annoyance in her voice is very much there and Lance doesn’t miss it. He scoffs loudly and grits his teeth.

“No.” He says, voice deepening in anger.

“Oh really?” Pidge asks, poking the sleeping bear that lies dormant in lance. “Cause it sure sounds like it to me. Why don’t you stop being such a fucking child and tell us what’s bothering you this time??”

Lance damn near growls.

The line has gone quiet now. Hunk’s unsteady breathing is audible but other than that, silence. Lance digs his nails into the skin of his palms and tries to keep the angry tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks. With a deep shaky breath, he smiles through the pain.

“You know what, Katie,” Lance spits and it makes Hunk gasp. “Fuck YOU and this stupid, shitty attitude you have all the time!”

“Oh, god..” Hunk winces.

“I don’t know what the actual fuck crawled up your ass,” Lance continues, “but I’m sick of it! I've been sick of it for years! I’m sick of keeping my mouth shut and quite frankly, I’m sick of YOU!”

Lance is standing up out of his seat now. His chest heaves up and down as the angry tears have fallen past his face and down his neck. His voice is two octaves deep from anger and the skin of his palm is bloody from how hard he’s digging his nails into it. The place has gone quiet now and Lance can feel multiple pairs of eyes on him. So much for not drawing any attention to himself.

The line is quiet. Then, the sound of a huff of breath. A small laugh.. And then:

“Wow. Nice one, McClain..” Pidge’s voice is small, but so full of something. “Go screw yourself, you asshole.”

The call ends. Whether Pidge or Hunk ended it, is unclear.

Minutes pass, and Lance is still standing in the same place with the phone to his ear. Tears are running down his face, and his Altean marks are buzzing so loud in his ears. His heart is pounding in his ribcage and ice cold sorrow runs through his veins..

He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.

Message delivered...

Now, exactly 3 months since that little incident, Lance sits alone in his home. In his childhood bedroom he can’t seem to rearrange because he’s still holding out hope that one day he’ll turn back time and be his child self and get a redo on his life. But hey, it’s better this way. After the whole dilemma with Pidge, Hunk tried to call Lance to help but ended up getting his feelings hurt. Yep. By Lance. Because Lance is a big jerk and can’t stop hurting everyone around him.

So he hasn’t talked to Pidge or Hunk since then. Mostly out of guilt and shame because those two are supposed to be his bestest friends and he hurt them. Nothing he could say or do could make up for his selfish mind and stupid mouth. Lance had this whole plan to go to Shiro about it, to get his advice so Lance could make it all better.

But Pidge being Pidge.. texted the whole thing in their group chat and.. well.. everyone saw it. Shiro, Hunk, Matt, even Keith possibly! It got so bad that Lance’s phone kept going off with alerts from everyone asking what happened and what he said. Curtis tried calling him and left a few messages. Shiro left him a long voicemail. And of course the word traveled so fast that it reached New Altea and Coran got involved. Which caused Romelle to be involved, too. She gossiped to Acxa, who told her girlfriend, who happens to be Lance’s sister, Veronica. Veronica blabbed to Rachel, who blabbed to Marco, who blabbed to Luis.. who blabbed to Lance’s dad.. WHO BLABBED TO LANCE’S MOM. And boy did she have some interesting words for him in the SEVEN, LONG voicemails asking exactly ‘what happened’and ‘why The Holt siblings were so angry with him.’

Everything escalated so fast. Lance can’t even remember what he said. Or why he said it. Since the war ended, it’s been so hard on him. Sure, it’s been hard on everyone, but for Lance it’s been different. Everyone looks up to him for some reason and expects him to do so good and be the hero they all think he is, when in reality? He was just a leg…

Exactly what did he gain from being a paladin of voltron anyway?? Get banged up and bruised almost everyday he was out there? Have people on his case, constantly reminding him how unimportant he was to the team? Pointing out all of his flaws and mistakes and focusing on those when there’s a million other good things he’s done that towers over all the bad shit?? Sure, he returned home to his family who he literally missed and cried for every single day, but he lost the love of his life in the process.

To put it all out there, Lance didn’t really gain anything. He got to travel through space, which was his dream since he was a little kid, and then space chewed him up and spit him out as some fake hero with PTSD and other trauma that will haunt him for the rest of his pathetic life.

So.. these past 3 months.

Lance has been sitting up in his childhood room.

Wishing he could use the power of Altea or something to turn back time.

And be his younger self.

His innocent self.

His happier self.

Back when he wasn’t so fucked up and had dreams and goals.

Back when everyone was proud of him.

Back to when he didn’t know who Allura was or that she even existed. Back to when Voltron didn’t exist either and everything was fucking fine.

Staring up at his ceiling, Lance counts the glow in the dark stars that he’s had up there since he was six years old. Somehow they’re still glowing and Lance is thankful for that because at 3 in the morning when the world is fast asleep and everything is pitch black, he could use the light.

It comforts him. Reminds him of a simpler, more happier time in his life.

Something sharp digs through Lance’s chest as he stares at those fake neon stars, and it hurts really bad. His breathing begins to quicken, matching the beat of his heart, and a lump finds its way up his throat. Tears pool in the rim of his eyes and spill down the corners, streaming down the sides of his face.

And they don’t stop. The stars get blurrier as Lance’s breathing gets heavier. His body begins to tremble with every hiccup of a sob that pours out of him and he’s crying so hard that his brain throbs in his head.

He curls in on himself in his bed and wraps his arms around his torso, crying uncontrollably into his space themed pillow. His Altean marks begin to buzz and glow and he can’t bring himself to care because all he wants to do is disappear.

Disappear from this game called life.

He types a text to Keith with teary eyes and a quivering bottom lip.

Message.. deleted…

As 3 in the morning turns to 4, a pod lands in the grass just a couple yards away from Lance’s farm. Boot covered feet step out of said pod and touch the wet grass waiting for them. It’s still dark out and the only light visible are the fireflies that buzz around a pair of cowboy booted feet. Those booted feet begin to walk, carrying a tall, broad, raven haired stranger up a hill to Lance’s home. The frogs and crickets seem to grow louder as the stranger in black cowboy boots makes their way to the front porch and pulls back the creaky screen door to a cold, locked doorknob. A set of keys are pulled out and a specific blue key is pushed inside the lock, turning and unlocking the door. The stranger walks in and is instantly met.. with..

Crying??

“H-Hello??” The stranger calls out. “Lance?”

The crying stops.

It’s dead quiet..

The door shuts on its own and the echo around the house is eery.

Light footsteps descend the stairs and before they know it, the stranger is being tackled to the ground in a bear hug.

“Ah-! Lance!?” They yell as the duffel bag from their hand falls to the ground.

“Keith!!” Lance yells out, voice rasped from endless crying.

Keith can immediately hear it and wraps his arms around Lance so tight, holding him close. His eyes glow yellow, something that usually happens out of fear, anger, or protectiveness, and his lips protrude to make way for his double set of fangs that are ready to bite any and everyone.

“Lance!” Keith tries to sit up but is pinned to the ground with all of Lance’s dead body weight. “Lance, honey, are you hurt? What’s wrong??”

A hand through curly brown locks and Lance’s crying dies down. He snuggles his face into Keith’s neck and hiccups through a response. Something too incoherent for Keith to make out, but he feels it has something to do with why he was told to go home ASAP.

A few weeks ago, Keith was contacted by Acxa via video chat. They talked and caught up for a few minutes before Acxa told Keith the real reason for her call. She explained that Veronica was having a tough time reaching out to Lance and that he might be in some kind of trouble. Not knowing the full extent of the story, Acxa only told Keith what she heard from Veronica and others. Fearing the worst, Keith packed up his shit and set a course for Earth as fast as he could.

Unfortunately, there were some setbacks on his way over where he had to make a few stops to tend to aliens in need because after all, that’s still his job as a blade member, but when that got finished, Keith hightailed it over. His Galra instincts wouldn't allow him to stay away for much longer anyway and having accepted his galra side a long time ago, it would have been best for everyone to let him go home.

Keith now lays in Lance’s bed, every inch of Lance’s body wrapped up around him like a snake. Keith strokes Lance’s hair soothingly and holds him close to his chest, right over his beating heart. A deep, soothing purr emits itself from Keith’s body and calms Lance’s nerves right down to the bone. Keith knows how much Lance adoreshis Galran features and at this point, Keith would do absolutely anything for Lance to feel better.

They talked about everything that happened and are now in the cuddle stage. Lance has his eyes shut, listening to Keith purr just for him. Long limbs wrapped around every inch of his boyfriend while Keith’s long nails scratch at his scalp, life is so good.

Life is so good with Keith around.

“So,” Keith says, voice as calm as ever. “What exactly did Pidge say?”

“Oh,” Lance answers, his voice quiet as a mouse. “You didn’t see the messages in the group chat?”

“No.” Keith shrugs, laying his cheek against Lance’s forehead. “Been kinda busy.. And I actually don’t understand how a group chat works.”

That rises a chuckle out of Lance as he sits up a bit to reach for his phone on the bedside dresser.

“Idiot,” he whispers with a small smile on his face and it makes Keith light up, his purring becoming a bit louder.

Lance lays back on Keith’s chest as he scrolls through the messages on his phone. When he finds the message from Pidge, Lance clears his scratchy throat and sniffs.

“From Pidgeotto,” he starts, looking at Pidge’s name in their ✨Paladudes✨ group chat. “Just an FYI lance is a.. a total fucking jackass and I am no longer friends with him..”

Keith immediately frowns at that.

Lance continues. “He can suck my big toe for all I care. I’m done with him. Have fun being a lonely loser @LanceyPants.”

“What the fuck?” Keith says, eyes glowing yellow in the dark room. “Why would she say that!?”

Lance shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes again. “Because she was right. I am a jackass..”

“Lance, no!” Keith sits up, bringing Lance with him. They sit side by side as Lance holds himself and looks down at his space blanket. He shrugs once and sniffs.

“Keith, stop,” he says, wiping a tear from his eye. “Look, I said some very hurtful things to her and she lashed out in a perfectly normal way..”

“Normal!?” Keith scoffs, grabbing Lance’s phone and rereading the message again. “Jackass? Loser?? Come on, Lance, she’s completely bullying you and you know it!”

Lance whips around with an angry expression on his face “Because I deserve it!”

The room grows quiet. Keith takes a deep breath and reaches over to grab Lance’s shoulders.

“Calm.” He says, taking a deep breath for Lance to mimic. Lance takes a deep breath with him and lets it out. Keith begins to purr again and it calms Lance even more.

“I.. Sorry..”

Keith nods. He reaches up to cup Lance’s cheek and rubs his thumb across Lance’s tear stained eye.

“You know I would never hurt anyone on purpose..” Lance sniffs. “That’s not who I am. I’m just.. I’m tired of being this symbol of everything strong and good and brave.”

“Mhm,” Keith rubs Lance’s back, leaning in closer to him to nuzzle his forehead. Lance nuzzles back and Keith’s purrs.

“I keep.. I keep hurting everyone I care about..” Lance whispers in a voice so low and fragile, it nearly shatters Keith’s heart.

“That’s not true.” Keith pulls back a little to look into Lance’s teary blue eyes. “Lance, you are the most incredible, selfless, honest person I’ve ever known. You are strong and good and brave even if you don’t mean to be. Or want to be.”

Lance pulls away and stares at his hands. Keith keeps his eyes focused on Lance.

“I know you think you hurt that fangirl from a few months ago.” Keith continues. “Or Pidge. Or Hunk. Or your parents or friend or family or whoever, but you could never hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, right,” Lance shakes his head. “I already did. I hurt everyone.”

“And even if that’s true,” Keith grabs Lance’s hands in his own, “which it’s not, you’re not doing it on purpose. You have a right to your own feelings! And you have a right to speak your mind.”

“And what if that hurts people??” Lance looks up and meets teary eyes to indigo ones. “What if I accidentally hurt my mama or my sisters or brothers, or nieces and nephews because I can’t be who they want me to be, who they think I am!?”

“Lance,” Keith shakes his head.

“What if I hurt you???” Lance’s eyes go wide. He looks Keith up and down and exhales a panicked breath. “God, Keith.. wh-what if I hurt you??”

“Oh, Lancey,” Keith sighs that lovey-dovey sigh where his eyes go all big and black like a cat’s, and the purr in his chest gets louder. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever.”

Lance stares into Keith’s eyes like they’re his lifeline.

“B-but.. but what if-?”

“No more what if’s!” Keith cuts Lance off by covering his mouth with his hand. “Listen to me, Lance. Are you listening??”

Lance nods repeatedly.

“Good,” Keith smiles, all crooked and cute and beautiful. “The only person you ever need to worry about hurting is yourself.”

And there it is. The one thing Lance has been dying to hear without knowing he’d been dying to hear it. It’s like a breath of fresh air, or cool rain on a hot and sweaty day. The permission he needed but didn’t really need. He has a right to care about himself and put himself first but whenever he tries, the guilt eats him alive. Why should he care about himself when he has to care more about others???

No. That’s not the case. It’s never been the case.

“You’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself,” Keith finishes, stroking the endless sea of tears that are falling from Lance’s eyes. He strokes Lance’s glowing Altean marks and leans forward to kiss one softly. Lance trembles slightly, closing his eyes to bask in the moment.

“I’m sure Pidge has gotten over it by now,” Keith reassures. “She just has too much pride to make the first more and apologize. You know how she is.”

“Y-Yeah,” Lance hiccups, nodding.

“And Hunk?” Keith scoffs. ��I bet your mailbox is full of letters from him, explaining how sorry he is and hoping you’re doing alright. You know if he can’t reach you from your phone, he has other ways.”

That makes Lance smile.

“There’s probably cookies on the way right now.” He looks into Keith’s eyes, exhaling a small laugh.

“Oh, yeah,” Keith agrees, laughing that angelic laugh and showing off his perfect pearly fangs. Lance’s heart skips a fucking beat.

“And your fangirl?” Keith’s purring stops. “Well, she never should have gotten all up in your space that’s for sure. You had every right to punch her.”

“Keith!” Lance squeaks, face contorting into shock and confusion. “I-I didn’t punch her!”

“Really?” Confusion etches itself all over Keith’s features and he puts a finger to his chin. “I could have sworn I read that in your text.”

“No way, man!” Lance defends, waving his arms around. “Why would I ever in my life-!” He stops mid sentence to see the shit-eating grin plastered on Keith’s face.

“Just kiddin, lil lady,” Keith says in his best southern accent, smiling big and wide.

Lance bursts out into a fit of laughter, hitting Keith’s chest and arms and back. Keith shields himself and laughs, grabbing Lance’s arms and bringing him down onto the mattress. They fall back with Keith looming over Lance, his long raven hair surrounding their faces.

Lance stares up into those beautiful, indigo eyes and sniffs, unable to look away. He reaches up and cups Keith’s face, rubbing his thumb over Keith’s Galran stripe.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Keith asks in his softest voice, eyes roaming from Lance’s teary blue eyes to his luscious lips.

“Yes,” Lance nods, not even bothering to blink because if he does, he’ll miss Keith’s everything.

“Don’t let anyone get you down, my sweetheart.” Keith whispers, leaning in closer. “Ever.”

Lance nods.

“And if they do,” Keith’s face turns serious, indigo eyes going dark. “I’ll bite their throats out and hand them to you on a silver platter.”

“Keith,” Lance exhales, going red in the face and ears. “Holy shit, you can’t just say things l-like that.”

Keith’s hard demeanor falls as he giggles and leans in close. Before they close the gap between their lips, Lance whispers, “And hey. I thought pet names were my thing?”

And Keith kisses him to shut him up.

They kiss like they haven’t seen each other in years and it’s the greatest Lance has ever felt. Keith kisses like he’s starving for it, craving it so much more than air and it’s hot and powerful and so, so damn good.

Lance wraps his arms and legs around Keith’s body and kisses him back with fervor. He allows Keith to make him feel better, and kisses his pain away. Keith pulls away slowly, licking into Lance’s mouth before he does so. Lance lets out a small groan and smiles before he opens his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispers, tucking some hair behind Keith’s ear.

“I love you, more,” Keith whispers back, settling himself between Lance’s legs. “Feeling any better?”

“A little,” Lance looks away, sniffling a little. His eyes focus back to Keith’s and a small smile appears on his kiss swollen lips. “But I know a great way you can make me feel all the way better.”

“Oh, yeah,” Keith smirks, burying his face into Lance neck to start kissing slowly. “And what’s that?”

Lance giggles like a little kid, running his hands up and down Keith’s sides. When Keith pulls back, he trails his kisses up the side of Lance’s face and stops at his Altean mark.

“Make love to me,” Lance whispers, rubbing his nose against Keith’s. “Touch me all over and hold me until the sun comes up and just.. love me. Please..”

Keith’s face softens into something full of love and adoration. He moves forward to peck Lance’s lips, then his chin, and then his other Altean mark.

“Anything you want, my sweet..” he kisses Lance’s cheek. “Beautiful..” he kisses Lance’s jaw. “Amazing.. wonderful..”

“Alright, enough!” Lance laughs, slapping Keith in the back. His cheeks are on fire as he closes his eyes when Keith starts nibbling on his neck with his fangs. A chill runs down Lance’s spine and tingles to his toes, making them curl.

Keith sits up one last time and stares at Lance like he’s the world.

“I’ll take good care of you, baby.” He says with the utmost truth in his sultry voice. “I promise. We’re in this together.”

“Yeah,” Lance nods, letting his tears fall down his face and glowing Altean marks. “Together.”

And as Keith kisses Lance so lovingly, Lance can’t help but be glad that he can’t turn back time to be his younger self. Because with Keith around, he feels all the happiness in the whole world just like he did when he was young.

-END-

(send me a klangst prompt)

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reidgraygubler · 3 years

Text

hot cocoa and cuddles part two (spencer reid/reader)

Title: hot cocoa & cuddles (part 2) Request: no Couple: Spencer Reid/Gender Neutral!Reader Category: fluff Content Warning: swearing (if any), mentions of a case/s, mentions of illnesses, tbh idk what else to tag Word Count: 2,348 Summary: the team returns back to maryland/dc after the case in alaska. reader discovers they still can’t warm up, even after everything they do. spencer tries to help out, again A/N: the long awaited part 2 of hot cocoa and cuddles. this is for the people who want to read part two and those who were looking forward to it… o.o thanks for all the love and support! Check out my masterlist!

part one

{***}{***}{***}

I pulled my sweater cardigan tighter around my body and shivered slightly. I pulled my hands away from my sweater and wrapped them around my hot mug, which was just hot tea. My eyes de-focused on the desktop in front of me. Anything Penelope and Aaron were saying went in one ear and out the other.

“You okay there, Honeybee?” Derek asked, looking over at me. I shivered and looked over at him. All eyes were on me as I tried to make myself not shake from my freezing-ness. “We’ve said your name like 6 times.”

“We’ve been home for 2 weeks and I am still freezing,” I spoke through clenched teeth. I wrapped my hands around my mug, which was slowly getting colder. “I have done literally everything to keep warm, and I’m still freezing.” I shook my head.

“Maybe you should get a cat,” Emily spoke up. I looked over at her and furrowed my eyebrows. “Sergio keeps me pretty warm at night.” She smiled at me. I laughed lightly and shook my head.

“My apartment doesn’t allow pets,” I mumbled and stared at the table. I shrugged and shook my head. “I guess I just live in this constant state of forever being cold.” I frowned.

“Maybe you should get your blood check. You could have low iron,” Spencer spoke up, tapping his fingers on the tabletop. I looked over at him and shook my head. “Being cold can be a symptom of low iron… You could be anemic... hypothyroidism is always a possibility,” he continued on his ramble/.

“Hey, Spence?" I asked as I looked at him, my hands wrapping tighter around my mug, which at this point was starting to get lukewarm.

“Yeah." He looked over at me with a smile.

“I don’t think I need you to tell me of my impending doom because I’m cold. I went to Alaska, not a hospital filled with a bunch of sickly people,” I whispered. Spencer lifted his finger to retort but failed when I shot him a glare.

“Get a boyfriend.” JJ smiled at me. I looked at her, trying to hide my smile but clearly failing. “Like your own personal space heater in bed. Body heat is a wonderful thing,” she mused as she flipped her file open. I shook my head as I glanced at Spencer.

“Yeah, I’ll look into getting a boyfriend or my own personal space heater. Although, I’m not entirely sure if my apartment will allow those,” I pouted. JJ laughed and shook her head.

“Hey, Honeybee, I’m always free if you need a personal space heater.” Derek smirked at me. I laughed harder than I should have and looked at him.

“You seriously expect me to sleep in the same bed as you, Derek Morgan?” I cackled and shook my head. Spencer shifted in his seat and kept his eyes down on the file in front of him.

“You shared a bed with Pretty Boy over there.” Derek nodded to my friend beside me. I tensed up slightly and glared at him.

“Better him than you, to be honest.” I flashed him a teasing smile.

“Guys, let’s get back on the task at hand. Garcia,” Aaron spoke up as he looked back at Penelope. I stifled my laughter as I looked back at Derek. He grumbled something under his breath as he looked back at his file.

{***}{***}{***}

I swear my heater was up so high (or as high as my bill would allow), I had my fluffiest and coziest pair of socks on, and at least 3 different sized hoodies on… The Alaska case was several weeks ago, I’ve been home ever since then… So why am I as cold as I am? And why can’t I warm up? Maybe I should take Derek up on his offer. Though, I think that’d be a whole new line I’d cross. Hard pass, thank you very much.

I should be asleep right now. 1:30 in the morning and I was sitting in bed with a hot water bottle pressed to my body. Something is wrong and I don’t know what. Crap, what if Spencer was right? What if I do have low iron or anemia? Or that hydro… Hypothyroidism, whatever that could be… I should ask him what that means. I wonder if he would be willing to be my personal space heater again. I mean, I know I kept him warm every bit as he kept me warm when we were in Alaska. And, he knows I’ve been cold. Listen, I’m just trying to rationalize wanting to cuddle Spencer Reid. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t stopped thinking about that. And, I wouldn’t be upset if it happened again.

“Screw this,” I muttered as I climbed out of bed with a blanket around my body. I shook my head as I muttered profanities under my breath. My body shook as I walked towards the front door of my apartment. I slipped my shoes on and left the house, freezing as I left my warm home.

And then I found myself standing just outside of Spencer’s apartment. Better him over Derek, I kept repeating to myself. I have a better relationship with him than Derek. Derek is more of an older brother to me. Spencer... I don’t know what he is to me. But he definitely isn't an older brother...

“Just… knock,” I whispered as I brought my fist to the door. It’s nearly two in the morning. I hope he wasn’t asleep. Although, knowing Spencer he was probably awake, reading over some old files.

“What… What are you doing here?” Spencer’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. I blinked before staring at him. He was wearing a black t-shirt and red and black checkered pj pants. Though his hair was messy and disheveled, he was definitely not asleep.

“Just… Just coming to see how you’re doing,” I lied and shrugged. Spencer looked at me, raising an eyebrow. It was clear he wasn’t so sure of my answer. But to be fair, I wasn’t sure about my answer either.

“What’s really going on?” he asked, stepping to the side, silently inviting me in. I looked around his apartment and took a deep breath. His home always smelled like cinnamon and spice. I probably enjoyed it too much. Although, it made me feel warm… Which I was okay with. Answering Spencer’s question didn’t even cross my mind until I turned back and looked at him. “Is everything okay?” he asked again once I was facing him. I took a deep breath as I tugged on the ends of my sleeves.

“Uh, I was just… I was just thinking about the Alaska trip.” I wrinkled my nose as I looked anywhere but Spencer’s face. I was only mildly embarrassed that I was here… asking Spencer if he would want to cuddle with me… because I’m so cold. Man, I’m happy Spencer isn’t the teasing type. Not that he’d tease me about this. I know that anyone else would though…

“What about the Alaska trip?” Spencer looked at me, his tone telling me he was very wary about my statement. I looked at the ground and shrugged.

“Just something you said, I guess,” I started as I looked at him, “Well, something you said earlier today,” I shrugged as I looked back down at the ground. I really wanted my blanket and hot water bottle. Even though I was warmer in his apartment, I was still cold. “Could I really be sick? Is that why I’m so cold?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest as I looked back at him. A shiver worked its way down my body and all the way to the tips of my toes and fingers.

“Come on, I’m gonna make you hot chocolate, and then we’re gonna go lay in my bed, under the covers.” He held a hand out for me to take. I stared at it for a moment before carefully resting my hand in his. He clasped his fingers around mine before leading me to his kitchen.

“You didn’t answer my questions, Spencer. You know more than anyone that avoiding a question means your keeping something from someone.” I watched as he made two large mugs of hot cocoa.

He still didn’t answer my questions as we walked towards his bedroom. And, in fact, he was silent up until I was sitting beside him on the bed, holding my mug of hot chocolate close to my body. Even though I was now in a warmer home, with a hot drink, several blankets, and the warmest person I know (despite his sometimes icy hands), I was still very cold. So, I looked over at him, watching as he flipped through the pages of his book.

“Are you going to answer my questions?” I asked, reaching over and placing my mug on the side table. Spencer looked over at me with a raised brow, slightly closing his book. “Am I actually dying?” I asked, feeling a certain fear grow in my tone.

“You’re not dying,” he said as he folded the corner of the page in his book before closing it. I watched as he set it on his side table.

“You don’t sound very convincing.” I shrugged, pulling one of my several blankets tighter around me. Spencer looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. He carefully gestured for me to move closer to him, and when I hesitated, he pulled me closer to him.

“You’re not dying. You’re not sick. You’re just cold. Everyone knows you’re probably the one who gets cold the most. Even when we were in Florida, you were cold,” Spencer said as he kept his arms around my body, holding me close to his. His body temperature was definitely warming me up, just like it had a few weeks prior.

“Hey! That’s because the stupid officers had the A/C on 65! It was freezing!” I moved away from him and looked at his face. I could feel a giggly smile grow on my face as I kept my eyes on him. “You giving me your sweater was like a gift from God.” I looked down at him.

“I think that’s the fourth sweater that’s gone missing?” He copied my smile before laughing. I looked away from him, trying to play innocent. “And the only common denominator is you.” Spencer poked my nose before he pulled me back closer to him. I rolled my eyes before curling back into his side. The goosebumps that were once on my arms and exposed skin, were now fading away the longer I stayed beside Spencer.

“If it makes you feel any better, they were quite warm.” I smiled. I left out the part that I enjoyed that they smelled like him. “And, I’ll return them washed,” I added, again leaving out that I’ll be sad that they won’t hold his scent.

“If they weren’t my favorite sweaters, I would say keep them. But I’m rather fond of two of those.” Spencer looked down at me with a warm smile. I laughed.

“Thanks for letting me in. I know it’s late. I promise I won’t make this a habit,” I laughed as I looked out onto the blankets in front of me. Part of me wondered what temperature Spencer had his furnace on, and how it was so warm. Mostly because my furnace was on pretty high and it was still like an icebox in my apartment.

“It’s okay, really. You should work on getting a portable heater for your house and desk just so they warm up faster,” Spencer suggested.

I almost, very nearly, said “But then that’d mean I can’t come over anymore,” But I didn’t. So, I just stayed silent.

“Like Garcia said, your own personal space heater,” Spencer laughed. Though, I cringed, remembering what Derek had said.

“Yeah? Or I could just get a Derek Morgan.”

“Who would want him as a boyfriend,” he scoffed, sounding mildly hurt with my joke. I looked up at him with furrowed brows before sitting upright.

“I never said I wanted him as my boyfriend. I was joking that he said he could be my space heater or a boyfriend. I was saying… What I meant was I could get a boyfriend instead. Because, you know…. Cuddling is a good way to-”

“What if it was me,” he asked, cutting me off so swiftly. I had to look at him to make sure he actually said what he said, because he was so quiet and he said it so fast, I almost wasn’t sure.

“You want…” I furrowed my eyebrows, again, as I stared at him. Spencer was looking down at the blankets, probably wondering to himself if he actually said what he said. “Spencer, if you wanted to ask me out all you had to do was ask.” Okay, I was definitely warming up a lot faster now, feeling my blood rush from a sudden secondhand embarrassment that I didn’t really want to feel.

“It’s a lot more than that,” he muttered as he looked at me. I furrowed my eyebrows before reaching a hand up to his face. I carefully guided him so he was looking right at me.

“It really isn’t… Like, ask me a question, any question.” I smiled, feeling my fingertips warm up under the warmth of his skin.

“Can I kiss you,” he asked, his voice very soft. I smiled before nodding, feeling a newfound excitement flood my body. Spencer lifted his hands and cupped my face, warming my cheeks instantly, before leaning closer to me.

As his lips connected with mine, I finally felt warm for the first time in weeks. His arms holding me close to his body, like he became my own personal space heater, again. I could sense that he knew I was warming up because when he pulled away from me and looked down at me, he was smiling.

“I’d be okay if I made a habit of this.” Spencer nodded as he carefully ran a hand through my hair. I couldn’t help but laugh again.

“Good.” I smiled before pressing my lips to his for a moment, “Because I could too.”

if you want to be a part of a taglist or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here

#shadow writes stuff #masterlist #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid #criminal minds #mgg #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader #doctor spencer reid #doctor spencer reid imagine #doctor spencer reid fanfiction #doctor spence reid fanfiction #doctor spencer reid fan fiction #criminal minds fan fic #criminal minds one shot

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

Text

Cherry Wine

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peters new girlfriend isn’t what she seems

WARNING: domestic abuse

Masterlist

Lorina Dodson.

Peters girlfriend of two months now. You and Ned didn’t think they’d last more than a week but they had somehow managed to surpass all expectations.

You tried to be happy for Peter, but you just could my figure out what he saw in her. She was rude, volatile , and had a mean streak to her. It took all your will power not to get down on your knees and beg Peter to break up with her. Not even because you were in love with him, which was Ned’s running theory, but because he wasn’t happy. You weren’t blind to the look he got on his face when she came around. Not to mention that he came back from hanging out with her looking sadder and more worn down than before. Peter didn’t like to talk about his relationship much and you didn’t understand until one night when he came to your room for patching up.

“They got you pretty good tonight, didn’t they?” You chuckled softly as you dabbed hydrogen peroxide on Peters busted lip. He had come to you for repairs before since he lived across the street and you were usually able to joke around about how neat up he had gotten. Tonight, the misty look in his eyes told you he wasn’t in the mood for joking.

“Something like that.” Peter smiled sadly, winching a little when you blew on his cut.

“Sorry.” You spoke softly and looked in his eyes. You could see the redness surrounding his eyelids and put your supplies down. “What happened tonight?”

“I got my confidence shaken pretty badly.” Peter shrugged and refused to meet your eyes.

“Maybe you should tell Lorina about your double life.” You suggested. “I can always patch you up but I can’t exactly kiss it better.”

As much as you disliked his girlfriend, and the fact that he had a girlfriend in the first place, you knew there were some things only a girlfriend could fix. You couldn’t take Peter into your arms and comfort him the way she could. Peter shook his head and looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

“I don’t think I’m where I’m supposed to be.” His voice cracked and you immediately wrapped your arms around him. You held him against your tummy and stroked his hair to soothe him.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“She won’t let me be.” He cried and buried his face in your shirt.

“Lorina?”

“We fight all the time.” He sniffled. “I feel like I can’t grow as long as I’m with her. She’s keeping me in one place and I don’t want to be there anymore.”

“Can’t you just break up with her?” You thought the solution was obvious.

“I tried but,” he shrugged in misery, “she said I was all she had. She started freaking out and saying she-“

“Shhh.” You cut him off when you saw how worked up he was getting. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“That’s not even that half of it.” He whimpered and your face twisted in confusion.

“What do you mean?” You wondered.

“I can’t tell you.” He began to cry again. “I’m sorry.”

You looked out your window, deep in thought as you comforted Peter. Something about his relationship wasn’t right but you didn’t want to push him for information when he was already upset. You let him lay down on your bed and rubbed his back until he fell asleep. Sleep was a stranger to you that night as you laid awake, wondering what Lorina had done to make him that upset.

“Ugh! Peter totally bailed on me again.” Lorina’s voice snapped you out of your daydream of that night with Peter. “How many times he can forget he has a science project due the next day?”

You gave her a fake smile and cursed Peter briefly for leaving you alone with her. You knew he had to run off on an unexpected Spider-Man escapade, but Lorina didn’t know that.

Or need to know.

“Thats Peter for you. You’re gonna have to get used to that.” You told her with false sympathy and began to walk towards your apartment.

“Whatever.” She grumbled and eyed you’re for a moment. “What about you? Do you want to hang out?”

You stopped in your tracks and shut your eyes tightly as she asked exactly what you didn’t want her to ask.

“Oh, that’s okay.” You turned around and gave her a tight smile.

“No, I think we should.” She was blind to your indifference. “Peter wants us to be friends, anyway.”

“Sure. Why not?” You reluctantly agreed and followed her in the opposite direction. She began to describe a fight she got into with a teacher while you half listened. The more time you spent with her, the less you understood what Peter saw in her. When she began to curse out a teacher you always liked, you fully tuned her out. Your attention shifted to a child crying outside of a jewelry store. He was looking around and unattended, giving the impression that he was lost.

“I’ll be right back.” You told Lorina and walked over to the little kid.

“Whatever.” She mumbled, not bothering to look up from her phone as she took a seat outside a bakery.

You jogged across the street and knelt down in front of the little kid.

“Hey, buddy.” You gave him a gentle smile. “Need some help?”

It didn’t take long for him to dial his moms number and tell her where he was. Frankly, you wish it took longer. His mother came back in no time and gave you a grateful smile as she hugged her son. You smiled at the family and went back to Lorina across the street.

“Who was that?” Lorina cocked an eyebrow at the child and his mom who were now walking away.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and sat back down. “He couldn’t find his mom so I let him use my phone.”

“You let a random little kid touch your phone?” She asked in disgust.

“Of course, he was lost.” You said simply. “Plus, I love kids so it didn’t bother me.”

“I hate little kids.” Lorina laughed and sunk back in her chair. “My sister ran over my foot with her bike last year and totally broke like half my toes. I started hitting her and my stupid neighbors called the police. They didn’t even care that she started it.”

You looked to the side to shield your shocked expression and quickly composed yourself.

“Oh, wow.” You squeaked out and cleared your throat. You looked am back at her with hope that she was joining but her face was completely serious.

“It was the literally the stupidest thing.” She rolled her eyes. “I had to go to these like, court ordered anger management classes for a year. Can you believe that?”

“No, I can’t.” You answered honestly. You wondered if Peter knew about her anger issues and feared for him if he did.

“It’s whatever. It was that or jail, so.” She shrugged like normal people had to decided between court ordered classes or jail. You laughed awkwardly and tried to think in excuse to get away from this girl.

“What happened to your sister?” You asked, already anxious for her response.

“She was such a baby about. My dad totally took her side and moved out. I don’t care though. I’m much happier without her.” She scoffed and went back to texting.

“I’m sorry about your dad moving out.” You tried to show sympathy. “Do you miss him?”

“Please.” She laughed at your words. “He hated me ever since I broke my little sisters arm. And that was like, three years ago and he still couldn’t let it go. It was her fault that time too. I told her if she went in my room one more time I was gonna twist her arm and literally the next day I find her in my room.”

“So what happened?”

“I did what I said.” She stated. “I twisted her arm but she was like 6 so it broke and I had to get removed from the house for three days. God, I hate that brat.”

You stared at her in bewilderment but she was too busy texting to notice. You got a sick feeling in your stomach as you thought back to your conversation with Peter. Was this what he meant by not being able to tell you the half of it?

“Does Peter know about this?” You asked quietly, praying he had no idea about her violent streak.

“No. You don’t tell your boyfriend these things. It’s not like he ever talks to me anyway. He’s always hanging out with you.” She gave you the side eye and you didn’t know if you should be relieved just yet. Just because he didn’t know about her past doesn’t mean he hadn’t experienced her present.

“Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly. “You guys hung out last night though, right?”

“Yeah. We had a fight though. But I think I fixed the problem. He’s not gonna mess up again.” She said with a confidence that sent a chill down your spine.

“I’m glad you guys could work it out.” You said with a dry mouth. Your eyes drifted down to her knuckles, which were red and bruised. She saw you staring and pulled her hands into her sleeves so you couldn’t see them anymore. You quickly looked away and pretended not to notice, but you couldn’t get the image out of your mind. Something inside you told you it was time to leave.

“I gotta go.” You stood up abruptly and gave her a fake sad face. “I forgot I have a…science project.” You hoped she wouldn’t pick up on the fact that you and Peter used the same excuse when lying, but her face told you that she did.

“Uh, sure. Go nuts.” She rolled her eyes and you took that as your cue to leave. As soon as you had your back to her, your face twisted in fear. Something was going on that Peter sent telling you about. And if he wasn’t gonna tell you, you were gonna get it out of him.

“How was patrol last night?” You started your plan to get the truth out of Peter off slowly. He was hanging out with you Sunday night since he had been with Lorina Saturday night. He had to work out a schedule early in his relationship to make sure he had time to see both his girls.

He just hated the days that weren’t spent with you.

“I didn’t go out last night.” He told you. “Lorina was feeling a little neglected so I hung out with her. She told me you two hung out the other day, though.”

“Oh yeah. After school.” You thought back to your time with his girlfriend and shuddered. “She’s uh…interesting.”

“I’m glad you guys get along.” He smiled slightly and you caught sight of a forming bruise on the side of his face. You hadn’t noticed it until he turned his face into the light, and now it was all you could see.

“Hey.” You squinted your eyes and took Peters chin between your fingers. “Your eye is bruised.”

“Is it?” He touched it and winced. “Must’ve happened on patrol.”

“I thought you skipped patrol to hang out with Lorina?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Oh, right.” His face faltered. “I went on patrol after.”

“I didn’t see you on the news.” You tilted your head. You could always count on a Spider-Man sighting on the cover of a magazine the morning after patrol but hadn’t seen one that morning.

“It was a quiet night.” He lied and looked away from you.

“It was a quiet l night but you have a black eye?” You asked and the sick feeling returned to your tummy.

“Haha, yeah.” He scratched the back of his head. “Some guy punched me pretty hard.”

When he moved, his sleeve slid up his arm and you could see deep red scratches on his skin. You took his arm and inspected it closely. You had accidentally stretched yourself enough times to know what caused them.

“These are nail marks.” You looked up at him for answers. Little flakes of red nail polish were still lingering on his skin. Peter pulled his arm away and cradled it.

“She grabbed my arm pretty hard, too.” He said with a flushed face.

“I thought you said it was a guy?” You caught his slip up and Peters eyes widened in a panic. You could see him struggling to get his story straight and it only worried you further.

“It was dark. I couldn’t really tell.” He stammered. You knew Peter well enough to know when he was lying. The alternative to him getting beaten on patrol was almost too much for you to process.

“You’re bruised, Peter. What happened?” You whispered as tears came to your eyes. “I know you weren’t on patrol last night.”

“Yes, I was.” He insisted but you couldn’t believe him. You knew who gave him those bruises.

“You’re lying to me.” You protested. “Since when do you lie to me?”

“I’m not lying. I was on patrol.” He repeated with desperation. His eyes pleaded with you to drop it but you just couldn’t. You coudk the stand by and let it happen.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” You snapped and gently touched his black eye. You rubbed your thumb over the bruise as delicately as you could and thought back to Lorina’s red knuckles. Peter could see the wheels turning in your brain and white hit fear went through him.

“Did she do this?” You whispered and Peter flinched slightly.

“Who?” Peter pretended not to know what you were talking about.

“Lorina.”

Peters face told you everything you needed to know. For a minute, he was a different person. Your typically smart and strong best friend became a pale, submissive shell of a man at the mention of her name. It was like she was in the room with you, solentikg tormenting a defenseless Peter. You could see the fear in his eyes when you said her name and it confirmed your worst nightmare.

She was abusing him.

Peter let out a few shaky breaths as he composed himself before shaking his head.

“What? Are you crazy? Why would my girlfriend hit me?” He licked his dry lips and tried to think of a better excuse.

“For the same reason she had to go to her court ordered anger management classes. She obviously had a problem with violence, Peter.” You began to cry as Peter continued to defend his abuser. You drew your hands away from his face and ran to his bathroom, puking in toilet as the sickness in your stomach finally caught up to you. You wiped your mouth and went back to Peter, who was holding himself like a child trembling. You walked up to him and said nothing, only staring him down until he confessed.

“Lorina would never hit me.” He said quietly and turned away from you. Your blood heated up inside you and he continued to lie his way out of admitting what was really going on.

“Why are you protecting her?” You yelled and Peter wiped around with a rage behind his eyes.

“Because I don’t know what to do!” He screamed and his face contorted in misery as he began to sob. “I don’t know what to do.”

You watched your best friend break down before taking him into your arms. He cried on your shoulder as you stroked his hair, in tears yourself.

“Peter…” You mumbled and pressed a sorrowful kiss to his head. Peters body shook against yours as he let out the tears he had been holding in. He pulled away after a minute and you were able to wipe his tears with your hands.

“How long has this been going on?” You asked gently as you handed him a tissue.

“She smacked me a few weeks into our relationship and she swore it would never happen again.” He sniffled.

“But it did, didn’t it?”

“Almost everyday. She just gets so mad all the time.” His voice cracked and you pulled him into another hug. “It’s never even over something I did. If she got a bad grade or got yelled at by a teacher, she takes it out on me. What did I do wrong?”

You pulled away and held his face between your hands.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” You assured him. “People like her don’t need a reason to be violent. They just are. This isn’t your fault.”

“It feels like it is.” He shrugged sadly. “If I was a better boyfriend-“

“Stop that.” You cut him off. “Don’t make excuses for her. She’s an abuser. There is nothing you did or didn’t do that made her hurt you. She would’ve done this regardless.”

“I just feel so stupid.” He whimpered. “She’s always so apologetic after she hits me, and I always forgive her. I keep believing her when she says it won’t happen again, and then it does happen again and I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. This is not your fault.” You swore. Peters bottom lip trembled as he searched your face, latching onto you for much needed comfort.

“I don’t know how to handle this.” He shook his head. “There’s no advice for men online. No one thinks we can be the victims too.”

“I’m so sorry, Peter. I believe you.” You pulled him down on the bed and held him close. He rested his head over your heartbeat and let you play with his hair. You couldn’t heal him, but you could remind him how it felt to be loved.

“Thank you.” He mumbled in appreciation as he leaned into your touch. He could already feel himself relaxing with you.

“Has she ever made you bleed?” You wondered as you untangled a knot in his curls.

“It’s rare, but it happened a few times.” He told you. “It’s strange; when it runs into your mouth, it’s almost…sweet.”

You didn’t know what to say, not trusting your voice to be steady if you tried to speak. It killed you that Peter has endured the abuse for so long and you felt almost ashamed for not realizing he needed help sooner.

“I could hurt her.” He said suddenly. “I could hurt her with half the force she uses against me. I know that.”

“But you don’t.”

“And I never would.” He confirmed.

“I’d never expect you too. It takes a big man to have the power you have and not fight back.” You looked down at him from your position. He gave you a sad smile before looking away.

“Then why do I feel so weak?” He asked timidly.

“You’re not weak. Shes just weighing you down.” You shook your head, angry at the thought of her. A silence settled in your room, the only sounds coming from your breathing.

“Why do you stay?” You asked suddenly. You couldn’t understand how a boy as smart as Peter could stay in a relationship that was so obviously toxic.

“There was this study that if you put frogs in boiling water, they’ll jump right out. But if you put a frog in warm water and slowly raise it to a boil, it’ll stay there until it dies. That’s what an abusive relationship is like.” Peter said slowly. “She slowly raised the temperature and now I’m…”

“Dying?” You finished his sentence for him and held him tighter. “I don’t want you to stay until you die. You deserve so much better.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve better. It’s not like over ever been given better. Maybe I’m getting exactly what I deserve.” Peter spoke softly, making you sit up. You climbed on top of him and pinned him to the mattress.

“Don’t say that, okay?” You demanded as your nose almost touched Peter’s. “That’s her talking. You have value that she can’t never take away. You deserve everything good in this world. I never want to hear you say that again.”

Peter breathed heavily as he looked up at you with a pink blush on his face. You became aware of your position and rolled off of him, laying next to him on the bed.

“Thanks.” He said breathlessly as you both stared at the ceiling.

“You’re welcome.” You rolled onto your side and looked at Peter. “I’m here for you, but we can’t fix this on our own. We need to tell an adult.”

“If I tell people, everyones gonna laugh at me for not fighting back.” Peter pointed out.

“No smart person would laugh at someone strong enough to take abuse this long.” You insisted. “You’re brave for not fighting back.”

“You think?” He smiled shyly at you. You smiled back and wrapped an arm around his torso.

“I know.”

You spotted Lorina the next day in the courtyard, face once again buried in her phone. The principle was busy calling her parents to let her know she was no longer welcomed back at Midtown Tech. She assured you and Peter that she would call the police as soon as she contacted Lorina’s parents, but you still wanted to take matters into your own hands. You wanted to give her a going away present before she left yours and Peters life forever.

“Hey, Lorina.” You walked up to her with a big smile.

“Oh, hi Y/n.” She said without looking up.

“Peter looked pretty beat up today.” You commented and leaned against the wall. She looked up from her phone with an annoyed expression and gave you a once over.

“Look, I don’t know what he told you but-“

“He didn’t tell me anything.” You cut her off and stepped closer to her. “Even covered in your bruises, he protected you. I just figured it out.”

“Couples fight. You wouldn’t know.” She sassed you and tried to go back to her phone. You pushed her phone down and stepped in front of her to gain her full attention.

“Couples fight with their words, not their fists.” You caged her between your arms and got in her face. “And from what I understand, your fights are always one sided.”

“It’s not my fault if he can’t be a man and defend himself.” She stepped up to you with a fire in her eyes.

“Peter would never hit you because he’s a boy. But guess what?” You asked as you cracked your knuckles.

“What?” She raised an unamused eyebrow.

“I’m not a boy.” You quipped before your first collided with her face.

I know it’s not always gonna end like this. You’re not always gonna get to punch your abuser in the face and walk free. I just hit 5k followers. That’s 5k people who need to be educated on this. I wanted to shed some light on this topic since I have a platform that allows me to. 1 in 4 men and 1 in 3 women will experience domestic abuse in some way in their lives. If you or someone you know is experiencing this, help is out there.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1−800−799−7233

National Domestic Violence Hotline

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#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker angst #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #spiderman #tom holland imagine #tom holland x yn #lorina dodson

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petrosapian · 2 years

Text

been late with all these "first thoughts" my bad im livebloggingthem on the chapgone server so these are essentially those but a little more thought in them, expanded version

Yeaaaaaah history babey, Rudyard's archivst vibes are just sooo fitting for him, love that he really does not seem to give a shit about funerals anymore, hes moving on from thaqt which is SO good for him godbless. a little funny its by linger on the past he moves on...

Infamous Templar and depressed Chapman this is the power couple we've been waiting for

Horse hater Templar yesss, samesies. hate horses. to the glue factory

Everyone getting upset about hypotheticals.... literally all community board meetings. honestly anything that people try to do more in

JfjdjsjsjsjNO ONE WANTS CHAPMAN FUNERALS ANYMORE, honestly like that the thing they really are the least about with his enterprise. he sounded hurt and offended tho lmao like king why is that ur fave thing you do

chapman sounds like he’s on the verge of breaking down here fkdnsbsjdjs he's tiiired

“It’s an amazing village” BOO tomato tomato.

Short Rudyard fkdksks too short to reach things...

EEK I love this music

Mommy Antigone. honestly every time she's been like the "responsible voice in the room" it's just..... mommy

Antigone can understand Madeline now confirmed....

Babygirl is obsessed WHY do they need Chapman here? and thenChapman IMMEDIATELY lightening up a bit when he hears Antigone wants his help????

Im gonna be SICK the chapgone here.... so glad it feels like the natural consequence of last week's episode

ANTIGONE PROMISE ME YOULL TAKE CARE, like the personal touch....

Chapman getting “boring” for Templar fkdnfbsjsbsja

Templar unhinged bitch, god bless i love her

“Great minds think alike” I’ll lose it. Really the two of them being "responsible people here is just so

Being a pirate a long time ago sir what is your PROBLEM

Would have liked Jennifer in the episode but I think they wouldn’t want to many plot lines. like she would have had an intense rivalry thing w sid marlow so what can you do

HURGH ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER

it either has something to do w Chapman or their parents, im honestly leaning towards the dad considering the way the parents have been set up this episode

anyways im gonna be deceased after the live show is over. i have the beth tom and felix interview to listen to as well but for how long will it last

#wooden overcoats #wo spoilers

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rileymustdie · 3 years

Note

So yk how hawks lost his wings yeah so hm what if it was a different story and the reader was a healer and brought his wings back BUT it hurts her in the process that’s my request if u can do it :)

UGH YOUR MIND

•angst, death, manga spoilers

•you both were a very good match. you both got along together, plus the fact that you were a healer and he was a pro hero that was constantly in fights, yeah he adored you.

• when he would come home all bruised and cut up, you would heal him. it only caused you a small headache, plus you had a happy and snuggly boyfriend after, what could be the problem?

•you never told him that if you overuse your quirk, it hurts you. you didn’t want him to start ignoring his injuries just because he didn’t want to hurt you. the headaches weren’t that bad anyways.

•that is until he loses his wings. the doctors said there was little to no chance of them coming back he was so upset about it and you knew you had to do something. so, you offered to attempt to heal them. his eyes lit up at the offer and so you sat behind him on the bed, trying your best to focus your power on him. now you have a massive headache and nothing even happened. you tell him “maybe it just takes time?” he goes back to sleep, upset. he knows it’s not really your fault and he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up but the thought of having his wings back made him so happy.

•the next day you wake him up and ask if you can try again. you hate seeing him so upset, might as well take a few ibuprofen and get over it. he says yes so you try again, nothing happens. you lean your head on his back with a sigh. “sorry birdie, nothing happened”. he nods and you help him get up to go make breakfast.

•he notices while you were cooking that your eyebrows were furrowed and you looked a bit dizzy. he decides it’s just that you were tired. you go about the rest of your day like normal. hawks calls as many doctors as he can find to see if they can do something about his wings while you work on some household chores. you go to bed, still with the headache

•you continue trying for about a week with no results. finally, you begin to see two small bumps on his back. you tell him and he runs (stumbling a little bit) to the bathroom to see for himself. his face lights up and he picks you up and spins you around, thanking you. you stumble a bit when he puts you down. surely he didn’t put you down that hard, did he? he asks you if something is wrong, but you just brush him off and ask to go cuddle on the couch with a reassuring smile. he guesses he just put you down too hard and you both fall asleep on the couch.

•over the next month, you put more and more power into healing him. for every feather that appears on his back, another dark circle or bruise appears on you. he’s starting to get worried now, but you continue to act like you’re fine and blame it on low iron or just lack of sleep. he listens to you and you continue to heal him, but he keeps his worries in the back of his mind.

• after a few more weeks, he suggests that you should take a break from healing him. his wings are still small and not ready for actual flight, but it’s a large improvement from nothing. you tell him that you’re fine and that you need to keep healing him so he can go back to being a hero. he still tells you no, that he wants to wait until you’re feeling better. (keep in mind that you still haven’t told him that it’s hurting you) you agree with him and you go to bed that night.

•little did he know, you still healed him while he slept. of course not enough to where it would be noticeable the next morning, but you still wanted to help him.

•he started to notice that you hadn’t started to look any better over the past few weeks, and feeling so awful all the time took a toll on you too. every time you looked in the mirror, you saw the dark circles and bruises. how much weight you had lost. you looked deathly, compared to hawks. he was so bright, his muscles back to where they were originally, his hair so smooth. you felt like you should start listening to him and stop trying to heal him, until you heard him on the phone with the commission. “yeah! my partner has been healing me and my wings are coming back! i might even be able to go back to work soon!” oh no. he was no where near ready to go back, you had to work harder.

• you still continue to heal him little by little. you can no longer stand to look in the mirror or make eye contact with hawks for too long. one night before bed he’s holding you, and you start crying into his shoulder. he asks you what’s wrong, and you start explaining. you tell him how you’ve been healing him all this time, how insecure you’ve been, how sick you feel, how much you want to see him happy. you “forgot” to mention what your quirk does to you. he tries his best to comfort you and makes you promise to take a break.

•you decide to listen to him and you start to look a little better over the next few weeks. but unbeknownst to you or him, you’ve already caused permanent damage to yourself.

(also for plot reasons,, we’re going to act like hawks wouldn’t immediately take you to a doctor)

•you tell him that since you’re feeling better, you can start on healing him again. at first he shoots you down, saying that your health is more important to him than going back to work. but then he sees the look in your eyes, how you genuinely want to help him. “fine.” he says with a sigh, “once a week, but if you start feeling worse you have to tell me. deal?” “deal.”

•so, that next week you start again, and immediately you’re back to where you were. you know you should tell him, but he just looks so happy when he sees his wings growing. he only needs a few more weeks of healing and he should be able to fly again. you just have to hold on until then.

•one day, while he’s out getting groceries for the two of you, you start to feel more lightheaded than usual. you remember your phone on the couch and try to get over there to call keigo. you get to his contact, then the room goes dark. he comes home to you passed out on the couch, for a second he assumes you’re taking a nap and smiles down at you warmly. it’s only until he’s halfway through telling you about the new foods he got for the both of you to try that something was wrong. he walked over there and saw your phone was opened to his contact. he sat down next to you and asked if you were alright. no reply. he started to panic and picked you up, no response. you had a pulse going, a slow one. (a/n: i literally don’t know anything medical so i’m making this up and hoping it’s right) he immediately calls an ambulance, tears streaming down his face. “no, baby please don’t do this to me. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry. i should have payed attention more. please just be okay.” after about a minute of him sobbing into your shoulder, you start to wake up. your eyes barely open with a soft smile. he looks at you and hold you tight “what’s going on, what happened?” you give him a pained look as you start feeling numb. “i’m sorry keigo, i should have told you.” “tell me? tell me what? i don’t know what’s going on, i just walked in and you were passed out” he starts rambling, you use your last bit of strength to kiss him one last time. “you’re going to be a great hero keigo. i love you.” he stares while he processes what you said. “no, no please. don’t leave me. please there’s got to be something.” he grabs your wrist and checks for a pulse, vision blurry and shaking. nothing, you’re cold. he felt his breathing stop, his brain stopped working. the person he fell in love with so long ago, the person he spent long nights awake with talking about anything and everything, the person who greeted him with a warm and loving smile and dinner after a long day of patrol, the person who saw him at his weakest and brought him back up little by little, gone and never to return. he opened up his phone to do something, anything and there you were. the picture you had taken that day he brought you flying. your beautiful smile and that red shirt he got you for your birthday. he remembered how you said it looked so pretty next to his wings, he responded with “well, you look so pretty next to my wings” a silly response, yes, but it made you laugh and you kissed him on the cheek. he looked back at where you currently lay, grey and bony, no life left in you. all because of him. the ambulance finally arrived and they had to pry him off you. he finally got himself to stop crying so he could talk to them, but as soon as he saw them carrying you in the bag, his facade vanished and the tears started flowing again. that night on his way to bed, he saw the indentation on the bed of where you laid just that morning. he made his way to the couch, only to see your phone still on the coffee table. he started sobbing again, and fell asleep on the floor.

(tw: mentions of alcohol and suicide)

•your funeral was the next week, he went back to work the day after. he needed something to take his mind off you. he worked long hours, not caring how much his fragile and much smaller wings ached and how they could barely carry his weight. on his way home, he picked up the strongest alcohol he could get. he downed bottle after bottle and at one point, if he squinted hard enough, he could still see your sillouette.

• a month went by, he was miserable. some intern at his agency said “well, at least they died helping you. you can just get a different healer to finish the job, right?” he smacked the guy and retired then and there. he felt too much guilt, it was his fault you’re gone. just because he was too stupid to notice how bad you were getting. he stopped by your grave on his way home that night, the grass hadn’t even grown over the top. he looked at your name on the headstone. “heh, we didn’t even get to have the same last name yet. yknow, i had the ring in the drawer by the bed.” he looks down at the ground. “i know you worked so hard to fix my wings but, i hope you don’t mind too much if i joined you.” with that, he adds the roses to the growing pile of ones he brought before and heads home. the news the next morning read the title “Pro hero Hawks found dead after sudden retirement” He was with you again.

———————

okay okay i didn’t mean for this to be so long and so sad but here we are,, if you have any suggestions on how to edit it plz lmk! asks and requests are open and feedback would be appreciated! :)

#hawks angst #hawks x reader #bnha angst #keigo takami #keigo x you #keigo x reader #hawks x gender neutral reader #bnha headcanons #mha hawks

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 4 years

Text

Mobster!Steve Rogers - Pt. III

Part I & Part II

WARNING: violence and abuse

---------------------------

“Well, you’re being awfully quiet today…”

Steve snapped out of his thoughts. “Huh?”

His mother smiled, already knowing her son wasn’t listening to a word she was saying.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Stevie?”

“Nothing. Sorry, ma. I’m just tired.” He sighed.

But Sarah Rogers didn’t believe him one bit. “You sure it doesn’t have to do with that gal you took out the other week?”

Steve’s face scrunched in confusion, truly not realizing who she was talking about. Then it clicked. “Oh, Stacey? No. I wasn’t thinking – No, mom. She’s not the one for me.”

Sarah chuckled. “You say that about all them, you know.”

Steve’s bright blue eyes went distant. “Not all of them.”

His mother seemed to be able to read his mind. “Yeah? Well, you sure as hell messed that one up, didn’t you?”

Steve rubbed his face, clearly exhausted. “Please, ma. Not today.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad honey. I just worry about you.”

“You ain’t got nothing to worry about, ma. I’m fine. Always am.”

Sarah sighed. “Had I known how this throne would’ve lay on your head, I would’ve never allowed your dad insist on letting you take over the family business.”

Steve just stared at her, unsure of what she was trying to say.

“You’ve always been soft, Steve. Gentle. Kind. Empathetic. You got those bits from me.” She smiled sadly. “But your father only wanted to see the parts of you that were like him. I know you believed you didn’t have a choice. But you did. I just wish I had made that clearer. But you were grieving your father. I don’t think you would’ve listened to me anyway.”

“I don’t think I would’ve either, ma.”

“Your father managed to keep me and you safe, didn’t he?”

“Yeah. He did,” Steve confirmed.

“So, why are you so convinced that anyone you love will be given a death sentence, sweetheart?”

——————————————————

Steve opened the front door of his brownstone mansion. He shook the rain off his umbrella and gave a half glance to the two parked cars on the street that were always filled with men running security on his home.

A rumble of thunder erupted just as he closed the door behind him. It coincided with Bucky’s steps hurrying down the stairs.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call your for 2 hours?” Bucky snapped at him.

Steve glared at his best friend, but was more annoyed than angry. “I was at my ma’s. You know I turn off my phone when I’m there.”

Bucky sighed then, taking in his friend’s appearance before continuing. “We have a situation…”

The genuine concern and seriousness in his tone finally caught Steve’s attention. “What? What’s going on?”

Bucky’s confidence from earlier had disappeared. Now he was unsure of how to approach the topic.

“Buck, what is it?” Steve snapped.

“Y/N,” Bucky quickly replied. “Y/N’s here.”

Steve swore his heart dropped to his stomach. “Y/N? Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

Bucky just nodded. “She showed up at your front door, soaked to the bone and shaking. She asked to see you. Said she would’ve called but she deleted your number after – well, after the last time you two saw each other.” Bucky shifted his weight. “When I tried to ask her what was going on, she wouldn’t talk.”

Steve was still processing that she was in his home. “Where is she?”

Bucky pointed to the staircase behind him with his thumb. “She’s waiting for you in your study.”

But as Steve quickly stepped by him, Bucky gently grabbed him by the arm to stop him.

“Steve, I don’t think she’s OK. She’s…different.”

It was the only warning Steve would get before he made his way to the study.

He knocked on the door twice before opening it, mostly to make sure he didn’t scare her. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even turn around when he entered.

Steve immediately noticed the suit jacket draped over her shoulders. Then he remembered that Bucky didn’t have one when he’d greeted him downstairs.

Ever so slowly, Steve stepped around the chair.

“Y/N?” He addressed her quietly.

But what he saw was not the Y/N he had said goodbye to just over a year ago.

Y/N had lost weight – too much weight. She was just skin and bones now. There were shadows under her eyes, like she hadn’t slept in weeks. Even though her hair was still drying from the rain, Steve knew it would not have the same shine that he still dreamed of touching.

Bucky was right about the shaking. She did a good job of hiding it, but Steve saw the slight tremble in her hands as they fidgeted in her lap.

She wouldn’t look him in the eye. Her head hung low and she stared down at her hands in her lap.

“Hi,” She muttered. Her eyes flickered up to meet his, but only for a second.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” He didn’t bother asking if she was OK. It was very clear that she was not.

“Ummm…I’m sorry for barging in on your…life…like this.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he stopped her gently. He slowly kneeled in front of her in hopes that he could get her to actually look at him. “You got nothin’ to be sorry for. Why don’t you just tell me what’s going on, OK?”

She finally got pulled into his gaze, losing her train of thought for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah. OK.”

“Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee?”

But she shook her head immediately. “No. Bucky already asked. Thank you.”

She went silent again.

Steve didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to pressure her. But it was obvious something had gone very wrong. “How about you take a shower first? I’ll get you some dry clothes? And then maybe we can talk. How about that?”

Y/N swallowed, but said nothing.

“Y/N, you’re shivering. You’re gonna catch a cold if don’t get you out of these wet clothes.”

“O-Okay,” she finally stuttered a response.

30 minutes later, Y/N was wrapped in a robe, sitting on one of the couch’s in Steve’s living room, a giant mug of warm coffee in her grasp.

“I’m sorry about all of this. I didn’t…I didn’t know where else to go,” Y/N began. “A month or so after I…after I last saw you, my apartment building got bought by this man. I didn’t think anything of it. Never thought anyone would ever put a face to his name. But then he happened to be there one day, just hanging outside my building.”

Y/N take a deep breath, not sure how she wanted to continue. “I don’t know. He-He took a liking to me...or something.” She shook her head at how embarrassing it sounded. “He wouldn’t leave me alone. I tried to be polite and distant. But he – I quickly realized he’s a dangerous man. He’s a crook that’s clearly made a lot of money from being a bully.”

Steve clenched his jaw, but made sure he continued listening.

“His infatuation turned possessive and obsessive. His men watch the building. There’s always at least one following me. He sends me flowers to my work.” She took in a shaky breath. “My rejections didn’t upset him because he thought it was all a game. But he made one thing very clear: if he couldn’t have me, no one could.”

Steve was now trying to control his breathing.

Y/N’s eyes glazed over with tears and her bottom lip shook.

“Before I knew better, I went on a date. I thought – God, I was so stupid. I thought if he saw me with another guy, he’d just back off.”

“But he didn’t,” Steve answered for her.

She shook her head. “When he found the guy walking me home, he picked a fight. Beat him to a pulp. My date ended up being hospitalized for a month. And it was all my fault.”

“Y/N, listen to me. None of that is your fault.”

But she would never listen to such comforts.

And there was more.

“After that, things just got worse. I knew I was always being watched, being followed. I stopped seeing my friends. I stopped seeing my family. I was scared if he found out who they were, he’d use them against me – hurt them.”

“I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I started drinking more – more than I should. I keep calling into work sick because I’m scared to leave my apartment. I’m losing my mind.”

Her tears finally started falling as she looked at him. “I didn’t want to bring you into any of this. I just didn’t know what else to do. I know he’s friends with cops, so I couldn’t go to them. I’m sorry. I just – I’m so helpless.”

Steve couldn’t handle it anymore. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed into his chest.

“You did the right thing, coming to me. I wish you’d done it sooner,” he whispered to her.

“I deleted your number after everything. I didn’t want the… temptation? I don’t even know. I remembered where you lived. But I couldn’t – I had to make sure they didn’t follow me here.” She was talking too fast now. The tears and emotion were putting her in a frenzy.

Steve hushed her, telling her to just breathe.

It took awhile for her crying to finally subside. But that didn’t mean he loosened his hold on her at all.

“What’s his name?”

The question came out like ice. It was even, slow, but terrifyingly cold.

Y/N’s body tensed. This was the moment she’d been dreading.

She pulled away so she could look at him. “His name is Brock.”

Steve’s face darkened. “Brock?” He growled. “As in Brock Rumlow?”

Y/N looked scared from his sudden shift. “You know him?”

“Oh, I know him,” he already started to carefully shift her body out of his lap and back to the couch.

“Steve, wait!” She quickly grabbed his wrist before he could get up. “I didn’t come here to find a killer.”

He paused.

“Please,” Y/N whispered. “Don’t do what I think you’re going to. That’s not why I came to you.”

Steve literally felt sick from the confession. “Then why did you come here, Y/N?”

“I just…wanted to feel safe. I’m tired of being scared.”

It was her turn to stand up now.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked as he too shot to his feet.

“I can’t stay here.” Her eyes raced around the room wildly. “Brock. He’ll notice I’ve been gone.”

“Y/N,” Steve tried to grab her attention quietly.

She ignored him.

“Y/N!” He grabbed her shoulders.

She finally acknowledged him.

“I’m not letting you leave. Not tonight. The storm’s only getting worse.” He sighed. “I’m just…I’m not letting you leave like this, OK?”

“But–”

“When was the last time you got a full night’s rest, huh?”

Y/N blinked at the question.

“Just…stay the night. You can sleep in one of the guest rooms. I’ll take you back to your place tomorrow morning.”

“No.”

Steve brows raised. “No?”

“I’ll stay the night. But you can’t take me back to my place.”

He slowly reached for both of her hands. “Y/N, I’m not going to let him keep doing this to you.”

“You can’t kill him, Steve. I don’t want that. I’d never want that.”

“Fine. If that’s what you want.” Then his eyes dimmed. “But I am going to make myself very clear.”

“Fine,” she agreed. “Just not tomorrow, OK?”

“Not tomorrow,” he repeated.

Steve showed her to one of the guest bedrooms. Of course it was the one closest to the master suite.

“I have four men stationed outside the house. There’s two security guards in the basement. Bucky’s staying the night. And I’ll be just a room over, OK?”

She nodded shyly.

“No one’s going to bother you here. You’re safe. Just get some sleep. And sleep in as long as you want tomorrow, got it?”

She nodded again.

“Alright. Goodnight, Y/N.” He started backing away from the door.

“Wait,” she called out.

He waited.

Y/N pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, Steve,” she whispered into his shoulder.

He hugged her back. “You don’t have to thank me, Y/N.”

——————————————————

When Steve awoke the next day, the guest bedroom door was open and the bed was neatly made. It was like Y/N had never been there. Steve quickened his pace as he went down the stairs, expecting to find her in the kitchen.

But only Bucky waited for him, drinking coffee and reading the paper.

“Where’s Y/N?” Steve asked.

“She left,” Bucky answered without looking up.

“Left? What the hell do you mean ‘she left’?”

Bucky finally tore his eyes away from the paper. “Look, I tried to stop her, but I wasn’t about to tackle the poor thing.”

“Did you at least put her into one of our cars?”

Bucky shook his head. “She said it would just make things worse, whatever the hell that means.”

“Christ,” Steve hissed as a hand rubbed his face.

“I did manage to give her your number, and mine. Told her to call us if she needed anything.”

Steve nodded his thanks.

“Steve, what the hell happened to her?”

“Rumlow. Rumlow is what happened to her.”

“Rumlow?” Bucky spat with disgust and disbelief. “What’d he do?”

“He got a liking to her about a year ago. And he’s been emotionally and mentally abusing her since. He watches her every move, won’t take no for an answer. He sent a guy to the hospital for just taking her on a date.”

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky muttered.

“She knows he’s got connections, so she can’t go to the police.” Steve shook his head. “I realized I’ve never seen her really scared until last night.”

“So…when are we killing him?” Bucky asked.

“We can’t.”

“What the hell you mean we can’t?” Bucky fired back. “Brock’s been a pain in the ass since we started taking over this city. Hell, we’d be doing a lot of people a fuckin’ favor by tossing his corpse in the Hudson River.”

“She asked me not to, Buck.”

“Yeah, because she’s scared out of her god damn mind, Steve!”

“She doesn’t want that kind of guilt, Bucky!” Steve surprised him by yelling. “Remember what that felt like: guilt?”

“So you’re just going to throw her to the wolves?” Bucky challenged.

“Of course not. I’ll rough him up. Make it clear what will happen if he doesn’t leave her the hell alone.”

“Well, I’m not missing it. When do we leave?”

Steve shook his head. “Not until tonight. We got a lot of meetings to handle today. And I want to make sure to catch him off guard.”

Bucky nodded.

———————————-

It was hard for Steve to focus on anything. He texted Y/N multiple times, making sure she was OK. She gave one or two word answers. Distant and straightforward. She texted as if Brock was even reading her messages.

Bucky would eye him every once in awhile, fully aware that Steve was anything but present for these meetings. He couldn’t blame him though.

After a long day, the sun was just about to hit the horizon.

Steve was on one of the balconies of his house, a glass of bourbon in his hand.

He could hear Bucky walking up behind him quietly.

“Promise me something?” Steve asked.

“Anything.”

“Don’t let me get carried away.” It was code for ‘don’t let me kill him.’

Bucky hesitated. “I promise.”

“She’ll know. And then she’ll never look at me the same way.”

Before Bucky could say anything more, Steve’s cellphone started ringing.

As soon as he saw Y/N’s name on the screen, he picked up.

“Y/N?”

But Steve was immediately met with sobbing. He locked eyes with Bucky, showing his panic.

“Y/N! Y/N, I need you to breathe, OK? Just breathe. Calm down. Just calm down and tell me what happened.”

She did as she was told, forcing Steve to hear the struggles to control herself and fight her way out of the panic attack.

“He k-k-knew, Steve. He knew something was up. Then he-he grabbed my phone,” she inhaled shakily. “He saw your messages…” Her words died down.

Steve’s jaw clenched. “Y/N, did he hurt you?”

Y/N only responded with the sniffles she couldn’t control.

“Y/N, did he touch you?”

But she wouldn’t answer.

“Steve, please just come get me.”

————————————-

Bucky was driving the SUV through the streets of Manhattan like a madman. Two other cars tailed them, filled with Steve’s most loyal men.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Steve hissed as he stared out the windshield.

“Don’t get sloppy, Steve. I know this is personal. But you don’t want any of this shit falling back on her.”

“I know,” Steve replied.

He was almost disturbingly calm.

Which actually made Bucky more worried.

The SUV had barely even stopped before Steve threw open the door.

He instantly spotted one of Rumlow’s men, loitering outside the entrance to the building. Steve could recognize a goon with his eyes closed.

“Hey!” He barked. “You work for Rumlow?”

The man didn’t answer, just immediately fumbled for what Steve could only assume was a gun.

But he was too slow.

Steve swung and knocked him unconscious and off his feet in one hit. He reached down for the man’s gun and dismantled the pieces, tossing the stray bullets into the bushes.

The lock of the entrance couldn’t hold a harsh shove from Steve, easily granting him access to the building.

He heard Bucky barking orders to his men before he hurried to catch up to him.

Steve mentally told himself to calm down when he got to Y/N’s door. The last thing he needed was to scare her just as much as Brock did.

He knocked three times. “Y/N, it’s me. I’m coming in, OK?”

The door was unlocked. Steve slowly on entered.

The kitchen was empty. So was the living room.

“Y/N?” Steve called out carefully.

Bucky was checking all the blind spots, a gun ready in his grasp.

Steve was starting to get worried when he didn’t find her in the bedroom.

But then he heard the whimpers coming from the bathroom.

“Y/N,” he gasped before he hurrying to her.

He froze when he got a good look at her.

She was tucked against the foot of the bathtub, arms hugging her legs tightly to her chest.

Her nose had dried blood underneath it. Her lip was split. There was a red mark on her right cheek that he knew would turn a concerning purple in a day or two. Mascara was smudged underneath her eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve muttered under his breath before bending down to her level.

She seemed to cower at the intrusion, backing up against the tub as if there was anywhere else for her to go.

“Hey, hey, hey. I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise,” Steve whispered.

She nodded, snapping out of it and realizing that she knew she could trust him.

“Can you stand?” He asked.

“I’m not – I don’t know,” she admitted with embarrassment.

When she did try, her legs were shaking like she was a newborn deer learning how to walk.

But before she could fall, Steve was at her side, picking her up in his arms.

“I gotcha,” he whispered. “I gotcha. You’re safe. OK? You’re safe.”

She nodded as she tucked her face into his shoulder.

As he carried her down to her car, he found more bruises and cuts. The more he saw, the angrier he got.

Finally, Steve turned to Bucky.

As their eyes met, they had a silent conversation.

Steve carefully handed Y/N over. “Take her to the hospital. Don’t leave her side.”

Bucky held Y/N like she would break from the slightest pressure. “Let me come with you,” he tried to argue.

“No. Look after her. Keep her safe.”

Bucky looked worried, but he knew better than to argue with Steve, especially when he was in such a state.

Y/N’s head shot up when she suddenly realized what was happening. “Steve, please. Don’t. Don’t leave me.”

Steve leaned over to her, brushing some hair from her face.

“I promise I’ll be back. There’s something I gotta do. Bucky will look after you.”

And before Y/N could fight him on it, Steve was getting into a car with his men.

-----

It was only a few hours later that Steve returned to a dark house.

He heard the click of a gun and turned on the light to find Bucky pointing one at him.

Bucky instantly lowered it. “Can’t be too careful.”

“Is she…?”

“She’s OK. Doc says nothing’s broken. Told her to ice everything. They gave her some pain medication. She’s just gotta take it easy.” Bucky sighed. “She’s upstairs.”

Steve let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Buck.”

“You might want to…clean up before you see her,” Bucky advised carefully.

Steve was suddenly brought back to reality and looked down at himself.

His white button down was now more red than it was white. His skin was also stained with the color. His knuckles were split and bruised.

“Did you make sure he paid for it?” Bucky asked emptily.

Steve gave a slight nod. “It was slow.”

He turned to go upstairs.

Steve expected to find Y/N in the same guest bedroom. But Y/N was asleep in his personal bed.

Steve listened to Bucky’s advice, and took as quick and as quiet of a shower as possible. He made sure to wash away all the blood, leaving no trace. But he knew he couldn’t wash away the sins.

When he slipped into bed, Y/N arouse from her sleep.

She turned to face him, still sleepy.

“Didn’t expect to find you in my bed,” Steve whispered with a little playfulness.

“It smells like you,” Y/N confessed with a blush. “Bucky said you wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t.” Then he couldn’t stop taking in all the cuts and bruises. Her nose looked better now that all the blood had been cleaned away. “Are you OK?”

She nodded. “I’m better now.”

Then she grabbed his hands, inspecting his cut and bruised knuckles. “Are you OK?”

“I’m fine.”

“Steve, what did you–”

“Y/N, don’t.” He warned. “We can never talk about it. After tonight, we forget all of it.” His eyes were serious. “Nothing happened. You hear me? Nothing.”

“Why did you risk all of this for me?” Y/N breathed.

“You know why, Y/N.”

She couldn’t speak.

“Because I loved you, Y/N. And I still love you,” he told her. “And I know that if I had just stayed that morning, then you… then none of this would’ve happened.”

“That’s not how life works and you know it, Steve. This isn’t your fault.”

“All I ever thought I could do was put you in danger. It never occurred to me that I could’ve been the thing that kept you safe.”

Y/N scooted closer, wanting to be held by him.

Steve complied, kissing the top of her head. “Can you still love me? After seeing what I really am, is that possible?”

“You think I could ever think you a monster after you made sure that the world was short of a man like Brock?”

Steve stayed silent.

“You think you’re so evil, Steve. But the truth is that I’ve never met a man who has a heart like you. Even before all of this shit, even before I knew who you really were… I knew I’d never meet another man like you.”

She could feel his heartbeat through his chest.

“So, yes, I can still love you.”

Steve let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Can we stop running away from each other now?” Y/N breathed.

She pulled back to stare into his blue eyes.

“Yeah, we can stop running, Y/N.” He told her before gently kissing her lips.

----------------------------------------

Don't say I never did anything for you. 😏

#mobster!steve rogers #mobster!steve rogers au #mobster!steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers reader insert #steve rogers au #mafia!steve rogers #mafia!steve rogers au #mafia!steve rogers x reader #gangster!steve rogers #gangster!steve rogers x reader #gangster!steve rogers au #invisible anonymous monsters #invisibleanonymousmonsters

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nikibogwater · 3 years

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Long-Distance: a Tales of Arcadia fic

Nari comes to an upsetting realization when Douxie makes a very important phone call.

Somehow this ask got me to write an entire oneshot after months of really struggling with writer’s block, so I can only conclude that the Non was a literal enchantress whose ask was packed with the magic of the muses. At any rate, thank you for the unexpected inspiration!

Unfortunately I was not able to include a scene of Douxie stopping by Zoe’s place before he left Arcadia. The show heavily implied that he just grabbed Nari and booked it to New York City as fast as possible, which is a bit upsetting to the Zouxie shipper in all of us, but I did try to provide a bit of an explanation for it in this fic. This fic ended up being a two-for-one special, prominently featuring both Zouxie and the Magical Siblings (because I’m pretty sure I have a stipulation in my fandom contract somewhere that every ToA fic I produce must have Magical Siblings content in it). Also Archie being a marvelous little menace.

Read on Ao3

Or under the cut:

Douxie had been on the phone for almost two hours.

From what Nari had observed of him, this was highly unusual behavior. He was typically very averse to making phone calls, and even when it came to checking in on his friends in Arcadia, the conversations never lasted more than thirty minutes or so. But he had seemed downright excited when he told her and Archie that he needed to make a call that evening. Archie must have known something Nari didn’t, because he swished his tail smugly and said “I see the lovesickness has settled in again.” Douxie threw a pillow at him, which he dodged gracefully, and began dialing before Nari could ask what any of this meant.

“CASPERAN!” Douxie did not have the speaker on, but the others could hear Zoe’s voice screeching on the other end just fine without it. The wizard hissed and jerked the phone away from his ear, though his aura seemed strangely unperturbed by the less-than-friendly greeting. “YOU TRASH MY WORK AND THEN TRY TO DIP OUT OF TOWN WITHOUT TELLING ME--AND WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS I’M HEARING ABOUT YOUR DEATH?!”

“S-sorry, darling,” Douxie sputtered. “I--yes, I know that wasn’t...I texted you as soon as I could! There wasn’t time to stop, the Order was practically breathing down our necks, and I couldn’t risk bringing them to you...Of course I’ve been meaning to call, but getting my phone replaced was a nightmare and there’s just been so much...No, I’m fine it was just...” The conversation continued at an ordinary volume from there--clearly Zoe had just needed to get the yelling out of the way first. But there was something odd about Douxie’s aura that puzzled Nari. Granted, she had not known him for very long, but she’d never sensed his spirit giving off this particular energy before. It was a sort of warm fondness, but somehow different from what his aura projected when he was near Archie or any of his other friends (she was only just beginning to dare to hope that perhaps some of that fondness might be directed at her). It was almost a happy ache of some kind, something that felt as gentle as a budding flower, but also as ancient and deep as a canyon. It took her a moment to recognize it, but when she did, it gave her an unpleasant start.

“Archie,” she inquired softly, giving the Familiar a gentle nudge. The two of them had settled on the broken-down sofa near the front of the studio, while Douxie was flopped on his mattress near the back. Archie’s ear twitched and he looked up at her expectantly. “Is...Are Douxie and Zoe...” She dug through her mind in search of the correct human term. “...mated?”

“The human word for it is married,” Archie informed her gently. “And no, they are not. Though they certainly give off that air.” He looked back at the wizard sprawled on his mattress, face aglow as he listened with rapt attention to whatever Zoe was saying on the other end of the line.

“But they love each other as mates?” Nari persisted.

“I would say that is an accurate assessment of their relationship, yes,” Archie chuckled. “They met back in Camelot, when Douxie was still an apprentice. Boy took one look at her and was instantly smitten. It was hell on earth trying to deal with him moping and sighing around the castle, sounding out ridiculous love songs on his lute at all hours of the night. Zoe took a bit longer to come around, but she did after a while, and they have been devoted to each other ever since.”

Nari’s heart twisted. That was what she had feared. The guilt that had been nibbling away at her now began to gnaw like a ravenous beast. Douxie had not only left his home because of her. He had left loved ones. It had barely been a week since they fled Arcadia together, and yet his heart was aching for Zoe like they had been apart for years. And it was all because of her. Nari pulled her knees up to her chest and curled into herself, feeling sick. Douxie’s voice continued to fill the tiny space.

“...Mm-hmm...Yes...Yeah, I’ll be fine, Zo. Really. And I promise I’ll call again soon, alright?” There was a long pause. “...I love you,” he said softly. His aura gave a warm, fluttering pulse, a sure sign that Zoe must have returned the sentiment. Nari’s stomach turned uncomfortably. “...Yeah. ...Yeah, okay. ...I will. ...Goodnight.” The phone beeped softly as he ended the call with a deep sigh. He lay on his back for a while longer, staring up at the ceiling, a sad, dreamy look on his face.

“Are you ever going to eat dinner, or do you intend to sustain yourself on yearning alone?” Archie called across the room. Douxie huffed and pushed himself upright to glare at his Familiar.

“One day, Arch, I swear, you’re going to--” He stopped suddenly as his gaze landed on Nari, still huddled against the back of the sofa. “Nari? Are you alright?”

“I....yes,” she fumbled, surprised he had even noticed anything. “S-sorry.” Archie was looking at her now as well, and she felt herself shrinking under both his and Douxie’s scrutiny.

“Hey,” Douxie murmured, getting up and crossing the room to kneel in front of her. “What is it?”

“...Why did you leave Arcadia?” Nari asked in a tentative whisper. Douxie tilted his head in confusion.

“What do you mean, why did I leave? We had to. You wouldn’t have been safe there, the Arcane Order was too close.”

“I had to leave, Douxie,” she insisted. “But you could have stayed. I have been hiding alone for hundreds of years, there was no reason you had to be part of that.”

Whatever she had been expecting, it was certainly not the look of hurt that flashed across Douxie’s face, accompanied by the feeling of his aura flinching away from her as though she had struck him.

“Do you not want me here?” he asked, voice tight with whatever pain Nari could feel turning in his spirit--it was an old pain, that much she could tell.

“I...I want you to be happy, Douxie,” she replied, willing her voice to keep steady. “But the only thing my presence has brought you is suffering.”

“Who told you that?” Douxie barked, voice suddenly sharp. He didn’t seem to want an answer, because he continued before she could say anything. “They’re wrong. I don’t care what they told you, they’re wrong.” Images of Bellroc and Skreal flashed through her mind briefly, but Douxie wasn’t giving her any time to dwell on it. One of his hands landed on her shoulder. “Nari, leaving Arcadia to protect you was my choice. Merlin entrusted me with your safety because he knew you are worth protecting, and I--” He stopped for a moment, searching for words. “...I agree with him. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, even if that means I lose something along the way. You are a part of what makes this world good, and I decided a long time ago that I wanted to protect all the good I can. But that’s on me, and me alone. You’re not responsible for anything the Order has done since you left them. Understand?”

There were several things Nari could have said to refute his argument. She still had doubts as to whether Merlin would have ever found her individual safety at all important if it hadn’t been for the fact that the Order needed her to open the Genesis Seals. Douxie’s desire to protect what was good in the world was admirable, but also entirely foolish. It could only end in his demise (it already had once before), and someone with a heart as pure as his deserved better than to make such a thankless sacrifice.

“...What about Zoe?” was all she said.

“...I do miss her,” Douxie confessed, voice soft once again. “But this isn’t the first time my wizarding responsibilities have forced us to part for a while. I know she’ll be there when all of this is over, and that’s all I need. And besides--” He gave her a lopsided grin. “This is nothing compared to what it was like before the invention of the telephone. At least I can talk to her whenever I want now. It’s really not so bad.”

“I can attest to that,” Archie put in. “This Lovesick Period isn’t nearly as horrendous as some of the others I’ve seen.”

“Yes, thank you for that, Arch,” Douxie replied dryly. “Point is....I wanted to look after you, Nari. I made some sacrifices to do it, but I know it’s worth it. And Zoe feels the same. Honestly if I hadn’t been the one to take you, I’m half convinced she would have. She acts tough but she’s soft on the inside.”

“...I do remember sensing that much when we met,” Nari admitted. She uncurled and folded her legs beneath her, reaching out and cupping Douxie’s face in her palms. His aura twitched in surprise, but he did not pull away from her, even when she tentatively pressed her forehead to his for a moment. It was a very ancient gesture of trust and affection--so ancient that Nari wasn’t even sure if most humans still practiced it. But it was the only way she knew how to convey her feelings just then. “You are what makes this world good as well, Douxie,” she murmured. “I will do my best to protect you in return.” Archie cleared his throat loudly as she pulled away from the wizard. “You and Archie both,” she amended, giving the Familiar a fond pat.

“...Right,” Douxie breathed, his aura glowing with fondness once more--the familiar kind she had felt before. And this time, Nari let herself believe that perhaps it was for her.

#tales of arcadia #toa #toa fanfiction #douxie #toa zoe #nari #toa archie #zouxie #the magical siblings #and their therapy cat

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duhragonball · 3 years

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Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 45-50

This is the “Soldier of Fortune” arc. I thought there was a song by this title and there is! Give it a listen.

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This opens with a flashback to Pip Bernadotte’s childhood, where he finds out his whole family is a bunch of mercenaries. His grandfather confirms it, and I should point out that Grandpa Bernadotte is the most mercenary-looking dude I’ve ever seen. He’s wearing a friggin’ beret while he tells Pip about how his dad died in some war to raise money while Ma Bernadotte was pregnant with Pip. Was Pip’s mother a merc too?

I guess my point is that this whole scene feels really stupid to me. Kid Pip grew up among mercenaries, but he’s literally the last person in town to find out about it. How do the kids at school know? Are the Bernadottes that well-known? I always assumed mercenaries tried to keep a low profile. Then again, they are entrepreneurs, so maybe the kids in school found ads about the Bernadottes in the phone book.

Even so, was Pip’s family trying to keep this a secret from him? Because Grandpa sure wasn’t. Not with that beret he’s got on. It’s like he’s been waiting Pip’s whole life to tell him, so why didn’t he mention it before? You’d think he’d want to raise the boy to follow in his footsteps, the same as Pip’s dad. Did Pip’s mom not want him to grow up to be a mercenary? It just seems like she should have known that wouldn’t work out.

Anyway, Grandpa Bernadotte waxes philosophical about killing people for money, which doesn’t seem like much of a justification. Pip was very upset about the whole thing, and I don’t think Grandpa said anything to make him less upset, and then we flash forward to the present day, where Pip’s a mercenary.

I mean, what was the point of that flashback? Pip was horrified to find out his family kills for profit, and then at some point he got over it and joined the family business. Why didn’t the flashback show us that moment instead? It seems more relevant.

At any rate, I feel like the flashback is overlooking the true point of Pip’s character arc. He starts out a soldier of fortune like his father and grandfather, but by joining up with Hellsing he’s now fighting for a much nobler cause, ridding the world of unspeakably evil monsters. He still seems to look at it like just another job, but it’s still important. His defense of the Hellsing mansion is a lot more heroic because he’s fighting against daunting odds with very little hope of surviving to see another sunrise, let alone his next paycheck.

Back to the main story, when Millennium’s forces invaded London, they sent a company to the Hellsing HQ on the outskirts of the city. Zorin Blitz was tasked with leading this group, but she was ordered to hold off on attacking until the Major gave the word. The Major then fired rockets at the mansion, only for Seras Victoria to shoot the rockets down... and Zorin’s zeppelin. Now, Zorin is trying to lead a ground attack on the mansion, except Pip has turned the entire yard into a minefield.

Seras disapproves, but Pip doesn’t care. In this sort of conflict, he and his men, the Wild Geese, are at a complete disadvantage. Vampires, even the weaker, artificial vampires of Millennium, are faster, stronger, and harder to kill. He hints at some sort of vampiric ability to read an opponent’s movements, too, which might have something to do with that whole “third eye” trick Seras and Alucard use. Against all of that, landmines are a sensible precaution, since they’re powerful enough to kill a vampire in one shot and don’t rely on a human operator with killing intent. Seras can gripe, but if Hellsing had used mines back in volume 2, the Valentine Brothers never would have made it inside. Pip clearly read up on that debacle, since it must have taken weeks for his men to bury all these mines.

The landmines do kill a lot of Zorin’s troops, and the Wild Geese lay down heavy fire from the mansion to keep up the pressure, but Zorin won’t give up so easily. She uses he powers to create some sort of zany illusion, where everyone sees a giant Zorin Blitz attacking the mansion.

So what the hell is Zorin Blitz, exactly? I thought she was a vampire, but reading this manga has revealed that Rip Van WInkle is a werewolf, which led me to suspect Zorin is a werewolf too. But the manga is silent on Zorin being one or the other. I check the Hellsing Wiki, but it contends that both women are vampires, and the term “Werewolf” just refers to the group of officers in Millennium. This group includes literal werewolves like the Captain and Schrodinger, but not Blitz and Rip.

Maybe it doesn’t matter that much, but I find it a little silly to call all four of those characters “Werewolves” and then only two of them are really werewolves. Clearly, all four of them are a cut above the Major’s other troops, and none of them show any interest in drinking blood, or any other vampire-exclusive traits. On the other hand, this whole battle takes place under a full moon, and none of them seem to be affected by it. Unless the Major chose this particular night to launch his offensive because he wanted them all to be at full power. Maybe Zorin couldn’t do this illusion thing otherwise.

Anyway, the Wild Geese see this giant woman slashing at them with a scythe, and they all panic. Seras sees it too, but she somehow intuits that it can’t be real. Then she sees Alucard, who reminds her of her third eye. I’m not sure if this is a flashback or Alucard is using telepathy to coach her from the deck of the H.M.S. Eagle.

Either way, Seras uses her third eye and not only sees through the illusion but lines up a shot on the illusion-caster. But it only grazes Zorin. It disrupts the illusion, but it doesn’t end the threat.

And even though the illusion is shattered, it still distracted the Wild Geese long enough for Millennium troops to enter the mansion. Seras manages to shoot them down, but there’s more where that came from.

Because the Nazi bastards figured out a way past the mines. They just threw a bunch of knives on the ground and played hopscotch to get across. I guess this means they can only get in one at a time, but it’s still bad news for the good guys.

So Pip adjusts his tactics accordingly. He and his men will regroup and hold up in a defensible location, while Seras roams the building to take the fight to the enemy. I guess the idea is to divide Millennium’s focus. They can attack the Geese or watch out for Seras, but not both. For some reason, Seras calls Pip “sir”, like he’s in charge, and maybe that is appropriate in this situation, but I thought Seras was in charge of their training.

Then one of the Geese pats her on the butt and Pip steals a kiss. I’m not sure what the hell this is about. I guess they were trying to lighten the mood before they go to face certain death, but if my life depended on some vampire girl killing all the bad guys before they can rip me to shreds, I probably wouldn’t sexually harass her, or do anything else to tick her off. But that’s just me.

Pip seems resigned about their chances. He’s confident in Seras’ ability, but there’s only one of her and like... 30? Let’s say 30, thirty Nazi Vampires heading their way. If even one of them gets past Seras, the Geese will all die horribly. But they took this job and the risks that come with it, and besides, there’s nowhere for them to run anyway. He seems to accept the situation with a mercenary sense of honor. Like, a mercenary should expect to die in some unwinnable battle, and they shouldn’t complain about it, since it’s the nature of the business.

Anyway, it doesn’t go well. The nature of the comic doesn’t really make it clear how the Wild Geese are operating, but I get the impression that they’re doing sort of a fighting withdrawal concentrating their forces as they give ground. But they suffer a lot of casualties in the process.

This leads to the Geese holing up in the big conference room where Integra met with the Royal Order of Protestant Knights before the Valentine Bros. attack. One guy panics and wants to bug out, but Pip reminds him of what I said a minute ago. They’ve got nowhere else to go, and they all got into this for the action, so they should stick to their principles, even in the face of death.

There’s this one guy from “B-block”, who I guess was covering a certain hallway, but B-Block got cut off before they could join the others in the Round Table room. Zorin Blitz decides to have some fun with him, so she uses her weird powers to make him see himself back home, with his dead daughter.

This seems especially cruel, because it’s not like Zorin needed this diversion to kill one dude. She’s just really sadistic.

Meanwhile, some other Millennium guys are eating the Wild Geese they already killed, and one of them shows off his ability to tell blood types just by taste. It’s this really sick moment, but at the same time it humanizes the characters, which is a weird thing to say when discussing Nazi vampires, but you know what I mean.

Then Seras blows the dude’s head off, which is extremely satisfying.

So Seras is holding up her end, and growing more resolute with each kill. She’s really improved a lot since the last time she was in action. Yeah, these Millennium vampires probably aren’t that much tougher than the vampires she killed back in the summer, but there are a lot more of them, and they’re trained soldiers on top of that, and she doesn’t have Alucard backing her up like she did before.

By now, all that’s left of the Wild Geese are in this barricaded room, and they’ve run low on silver bullets, which means even the few shots that don’t miss will have almost no effect. Pip is determined to hold out, confident that Seras will save them, but...

She runs out of bullets before she runs out of enemies to kill. When she arrives to save the day, she’s still has to go through Zorin Blitz.

But Zorin doesn’t see this as a problem, and she uses her freaky mind powers on Seras, forcing her to relive memories of her days at the orphanage. Yeah, Seras was an orphan, remember? Alucard asked Walter about her parents a while back, and Walter said they were both dead. How did they die?

Well, Zorin Blitz is about to find out...

#2021hellsingliveblog #hellsing #seras victoria #pip bernadotte #zorin blitz #alucard #a bunch of no-name wild geese dudes #i sometimes feel bad that i can't keep track of them all #but then i remember that kouta hirano never gave them names in the first place #so there's young commissioner gordon with the dead daughter #and the chubby faced guy who wants to run away #and the guy who cops a feel on seras #and the other guy who gets blown in half by a rocket launcher #and that's basically it

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