#IM FIXATED ON THESE TWO THINGS SO BAD YOU HAVE NO IDEA
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*giggling hysterically*
Im so ill <3<3
#tma#malevolent#autism#adhd#neurodivergent#fixations#IM FIXATED ON THESE TWO THINGS SO BAD YOU HAVE NO IDEA
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exoplanet p.1
masterlist
ellie williams x fem! reader (ur kind of a girly girl in this one sorry)
summary: you’re one of the luckiest people in the world as one of the few families that managed to gain entrance to the most exclusive safezone on earth. after living 19 years of your life in a soft and forgiving world, a lab accident sends you across the country to jackson, wyoming, entirely unprepared and unaware of what awaits you in the real world. its a good thing u run into a hot lesbian wink wink nudge nudge
a/n: now listen now hear me out i know this plot sounds kooky asf and im sorry i literally thought this shit up in a covid fever dream. but anyway i basically blacked out at the keyboard and have about 6k words to show for this weekend and no completed hw. i can’t believe im writing. this im so sorry
warnings: ellie is mean asf at first, reader is clueless and cannot do a pushup, you’re also a little bit of a snob and have a fixation on etiquette. i promise it gets better just bear w me lMAO. she/her pronouns for the reader, v vanilla violence and explicit language. kinda enemies to lovers vibe
im so sorry u guys idk what got into me this is the goofiest au i’ve ever written ok but i just want ellie to get to learn abt the stars and shit after all she’s been thru she deserves it ok enjoy part 2 coming whenever i finish it.
wc: 6k
It wasn’t that you didn’t know that something bad had happened to the rest of the world. You did. Of course you did. You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that there was maybe something else going on when no one was allowed outside of the walls and anyone who returned told hushed stories of decimated buildings and piles of corpses.
It was just difficult to grasp the idea of the world you knew no longer existing outside the bounds of the city. To anyone before the pandemic, you’re sure that you lead what seemed like a normal life for any privileged kid.
You had two parents, both of whom loved you very much. You went to an elementary school, then a middle school, and then eventually high school and university. You went shopping with your friends. You watched movies and ate shitty junk food and had first kisses and went on ice cream dates. You studied what captivated your interest the most—space—and threw your soul into learning about the physics of the universe.
You laid on your dorm bed, playing with the edges of your pink comforter as you gossiped with your roommate, Irena, about the professor that she thought was hot and the boy who tried to harass you for your number after you’d finished up getting lunch.
You lived a normal life, which is pretty ironic, because the only reason you got to say that was because you were born to not-normal people who had been at the right place at the right time when the world fell apart.
You see, when everyone got sick, some areas got hit harder than others. And your parents, who were vacationing in some swanky exclusive Canadian resort that only the elite knew about, happened to hit the jackpot.
Not only was their vacation spot the one area in North America with a significant metropolitan population that managed to get enough time to adequately prepare, they happened to be traveling with some big-wig execs that knew a guy who knew a guy who was in the process of evacuating and putting the final touches on a safe zone, Terranova, intended for only the highest rungs of North American society.
So, there you were. Some 25 years or so after the world as your ancestors knew it fell to shit—and you were sipping cappuccinos and getting facials without a care in the world. All because of a lucky vacation.
And, for the record, it’s not that you were ungrateful. You knew that you were lucky to be living in the last place on earth with a semblance of normalcy. What you didn’t know, however, was just how lucky you were, and you didn’t find this out until you made that one stupid mistake in Gunther’s lab.
~
“Morning, Y/N!” called out Professor Gunther, a short, squatty man with a receding hairline so impressive that his forehead now ended halfway up his scalp.
“Morning, Professor,” you said, setting your bag down on the desk, winding your long scarf from around your neck and running a hand through your hair to get the tangles out. The wind outside had been especially fierce for February, which was not ideal given that you'd forgotten your hat at home.
“Guess what I’ve got?” Gunther was smiling, his teeth perfect white squares.
You gasped. “No. It’s already here?”
He said nothing; instead, he pushed forward a slightly battered box with dents and various smudges and marks that were telltale indicators for outside shipments.
“No way,” you said, pulling it into your hands. For a moment you debated using your nails to open the seam, but you’d just gotten them done, so you reached for a pair of scissors on the table.
“This is even more than we need,” you told Gunther, reaching in to pull out a spool of wire that shimmered under the lab lights. “Can I just hook it up now? Or is there something else I should do?”
There was, in fact, something that you should’ve done before going with your pliers and wire. Something about your model wasn’t quite right, but you’d figure that out a little too late.
You see, you and old Professor Gunther were attempting to build a prototype that would enable travel at the speed of light. It did sound insane—and you should’ve known that it was a pipe dream—but you were a space nerd with nearly limitless funding and support from one of the most famous surviving professors in the world. It had been Gunther’s pet project, one that you joined as a research assistant in your first year at the university. Once you’d caught wind of it, you couldn’t stay away, and you two quickly began to form a connection only understood by lonely and isolated academics.
“Go for it,” said Gunther, waving his hand dismissively.
Excitedly, you approached the table, your hands almost shaking as you held the wire. It was a fairly new invention, first used in the creation of Terranova and its walls to effectively make it invisible to the outside world. It boasted a variety of properties that made it academically fascinating and functionally useful. Gunther had had a suspicion that it would be useful in stabilizing the process of disseminating atoms to make light speed travel possible, so you’d placed the order for a couple of spools.
“And I think that’s it,” you said, using your pliers to shape the blunt edge that you had just clipped and plugging it into the circuit board. A purple sheen seemed to vibrate around the bundle of wires and boxes.
Gunther leaned over your shoulder, peering at everything through the spectacles perched on his pudgy nose. “Well done, dear. Say, before we turn this thing on and start running some preliminary tests, would you mind grabbing us some tea from the caf? My treat.”
“Of course,” you said, standing up and brushing your hands off. “Lapsang?”
He nodded. “And anything you’d like.”
You pulled my scarf back on, pulling it snugly around your neck and snatching your bag from the table. The walk to the cafeteria was short, but it was cold enough to require suiting up again. You ordered, paid with Gunther’s card, and sat quietly as you watched the snow fall outside.
It was a beautiful morning. The wind had died down, leaving the snow to fall from the gray skies in fat, puffy flakes. The city outside was quiet, with only the gentle hum of the occasional car to break the silence.
“Y/N! A Lapsang Souchong and a Jasmine Green?”
You leapt up and grabbed the two disposable cups, smiling widely at the barista. “Hey, would you mind throwing a bag of coffee in too?”
“Anything specific?” he asked.
“I don’t know anything about coffee,” you admitted. “Anything that isn’t decaf. It’s for my roommate.”
He nodded and rang you up for the coffee, and you were back on your way.
“My dear!” boomed Gunther when you came back, throwing the lab door open and nearly floating off the ground in excitement.
“Lapsang with a spot of honey, as always,” you said, passing the cup into his hands. The bite from the heat slowly faded from your palm—the barista had forgotten to put a sleeve on his cup.
“Lovely,” he said, setting it down next to you. “I’m just going to go ahead and flip the switch…keep your wits about you! Haha.”
“Ha,” you said, though suddenly you were getting more nervous. The longer you looked at the wires, the less sense they made. And was that two uncovered wires touching? ”Hey, wait, actually—”
Click.
A hum filled the room as the power flicked on. The bright white overhead lights flickered once, twice, and then went out. Something that smelled suspiciously like smoke filled the room.
“Fuck!” Gunther fumbled for the switch. You, similarly, lunged forward to see if you could manually disconnect the wires from the input. “It’s short circ—”
As soon as you made contact with the input wire, you heard the sound of a cup tipping over seconds before the splashing of hot tea.
Then everything went black.
~
When you awoke, it was because you were shaking so hard that your teeth were clicking painfully together.
Slowly, you pulled open my eyelids to see a brilliantly blue sky without a cloud in sight, wide and unimpeded by any skyscrapers. This was definitely not Gunther’s lab.
You groaned as feeling began to return to your body, along with a thudding headache and soreness in every joint. Gently, you pressed your weight into your fingers and slowly sat yourself up, making observations as you went.
You were not dead. Your heart was still beating and your nerves still functioned as usual. You had no idea how long you'd been lying on the ground, but it had to have been at least an hour given that the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.
Another observation: you were nowhere near Terranova.
Instead, you were in the clearing of a forest, surrounded by trees with unfamiliar trunk patterns and leaves. A thick bed of white snow coated everything in sight except for you.
You were well and truly fucked. There was nowhere even remotely nearby the city that you knew was in a fully forested area.
Though at least now you held the title of the first person alive to travel at light speed. It was a small comfort, but it was something to cling to.
A shriek sounded behind you, and you spun around, still seated on the ground. The forest line was clear, but you could hear rustling. For a moment you considered that it could be an animal, but it didn’t sound like any woodland creature. It sounded unmistakably human.
“Hello?” you called out.
The shriek came again, accompanied by more crunching—both much closer this time.
“Are you alright?” you asked, hoping your voice would carry to whoever it was. “Are you hurt?”
A mangled man suddenly came into sight as he fell into the clearing from a lopsided sprint, barreling right towards you. One of his knees was bent outwards as he went, so badly it looked broken, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down as he ran towards you.
You screamed, a real and proper one that pierced the frigid air. There was no time for to run as the man closed the gap and rammed into you, his filthy hands gripping your arms through your heavy jacket as his snapping teeth and rancid breath lunged for your neck.
Bang!
A single shot rang out. The man fell limp, slumping on top of you as you frantically snapped into motion and scrambled out from under him.
“Who the fuck are you?”
You whipped back around to see a girl standing at the other side of the clearing, a revolver in her hand and an incredibly cross expression etched into her features. She must’ve been around your age, and she had short auburn hair that barely brushed her shoulders and was being tossed about by the wind. There was a spattering of freckles across her face, muted against the backdrop of her cheeks reddened from exertion.
“Hi,” you said, your voice small and pathetic. You couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m Y/N.”
The girl just stared at you for a few more beats before turning back. “Jesse! Dina! Some help?”
You pulled your knees into your chest as you waited for whatever was to come. Now that the man was off of you, you could see that there was blood trickling from his gaping maw. Something that looked almost like shards had sprouted, like little spring buds, in little areas around his face. Even his normal, unshard-ed skin was a pallor that looked like death. Something wasn’t right here.
“Okay,” said the girl, gruffer this time. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are just waltzing in like this, but this isn’t open to the public, alright? You’re trespassing.”
“Sorry,” you said, shrinking further into yourself as you thumbed the edges of your scarf. “I didn’t know.”
“Get the hell out of here,” she said, grabbing your backpack from the ground near her feet and throwing it at you.
Two other people emerged from the trees, another girl and one guy. They all seemed roughly the same age—early 20s, maybe—and were all carrying various weapons ranging from guns to knives.
To say you were on edge would be the understatement of the century.
They spoke in hushed tones as they approached the first girl.
“I don’t understand,” the other girl said, long black locks escaping from her ponytail. “We literally just patrolled this area. There’s no way to get here without either going through the town or going over the pass, and no one’s done that.”
“And you’re sure you didn’t see her then?” The boy looked curiously at you.
“Fucking obviously,” snapped the first girl. “I think we would’ve noticed.” Then, directed at you: “Hey. How’d you even wind up here?”
“Uh….” Your mouth became dry. “Where am I again?”
The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t even know?”
“Ellie,” warned the other girl. “Maybe she’s been out here for a while. Hypothermia can make you think crazy things.”
“She doesn’t look like she’s been out here for long,” pointed out the first girl, presumably Ellie.
“You’re right outside Jackson,” said the other girl helpfully.
“How close am I to Terranova?”
“The fuck is Terra-whatta?” Ellie frowned at you.
“Where I live,” you said. “I—I’m a student there. I was working on a project and something went wrong and then all of a sudden I woke up here and—what is that thing?” You gestured frantically at the limp body of the man beside you, the shock slowly subsiding as reality set in. “He almost killed me!”
Ellie gaped at you along with her two friends. “What do you mean, what is that thing? Have you never seen a runner before?”
“A runner?” You stared back. “These things are normal enough for you to have a name for them?”
“Oh my god,” said Ellie, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Have you, like, never been outside before?”
“No,” you said, honestly. “I’ve never left the city walls.”
“We have got to take her back with us,” said the other girl.
“Dina.” Ellie scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Dina’s right,” said the guy, finally chiming in. “We can’t just leave her out here. She doesn’t even know what a runner is. She’s gonna be killed like that.”
Ellie considered, gnawing her lip. “Fine. Consider this your lucky day, Y/N. Get up.”
The first thing you did upon reaching your feet was faint once again.
~
“I told you, Joel, we just found her like this! Lying on the ground, with nothing but her bag.”
A man said something that you couldn’t quite catch.
“Yes. I went through it. No weapons, just…weird things. Like this.”
Your eyes snapped open to see Dina rooting around in your backpack, pulling out your laptop. You were laid horizontally on a table in some warmly lit home.
“Hey!” you said. She turned around, along with a tall, buff man at her side. “Be careful with that. That has all my homework on it.”
“See?” Dina whispered. “Do you think she hit her head or something, Joel?”
Joel frowned, picking up your laptop despite your protests. “I haven’t seen one of these in…I can’t even remember how long. And I’ve never seen one this slim before. Where’d you say you got this, er…”
“Y/N,” Dina supplied.
“From my university,” you said. There was a fire that crackled somewhere behind you, and it sounded comforting. “They provide all students with laptops. That’s how we do most of our schoolwork.”
“Let me guess,” said Joel. “You from the North? A place called Terra Something?”
“That’s a real thing?” Ellie came from around the corner, standing with her arms crossed. She’d changed out of her heavy winter coat and was instead wearing a dark gray hoodie with the strings tied into a bow.
“Never been there myself,” he said. “But when I was doing supply runs back in Boston we always heard whispers of a safezone in Canada. For rich assholes who had some even richer survivalist friends. The Fireflies attempted to break in for years, but they could never find it.”
“So, like a QZ?” asked Ellie, looking genuinely curious.
“What’s a QZ?” you asked. No one acknowledged it.
“Not quite,” said Joel. “No FEDRA. With no military presence, I’m sure it was a hell of a lot cushier living there. Wasn’t it, Y/N?”
“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” you said. “But, yeah. I guess it was nice. It was just normal, I guess. Nothing extraordinary.”
“You’re wearing a cashmere scarf,” Joel pointed out. “That’s not what I’d call normal in the apocalypse.”
You blushed, pulling at the fringes of said black scarf. The fabric was thin and soft, impossibly warm against your bare neck. “It didn’t—it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse in Terranova.”
“And how’d you make it all the way out here?”
“I’m a research assistant for a professor attempting to invent travel at the speed of light,” you said. “We just hooked it up to a different wire today. It short-circuited and when my professor and I rushed to shut it off, he spilled his tea on me and the prototype. Next thing I knew, I woke up here.”
Joel blinked. “What now?”
“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, defensively pulling your knees to your chest. “But I’m telling the truth, honestly. Plus, look at me.” You let go of your scarf and held out your hands, letting the glow of the fire catch the immaculate pearl polish on your fingers. “Do I look like someone who’s traveled from Canada to wherever I am now?”
“She’s got a point,” said Dina, nodding thoughtfully. “It really must be nice where you come from to have hands like that. It doesn’t look like you’ve done a day of work in your life. Reckon you could take us back with you?”
Joel sent her a stern look. “What did you parents do to gain access to a place like that? You the daughter of the president or something?”
“No. They just got lucky,” you explained. “They were summering in Canada and happened to befriend the founders of Terranova right before outbreak day.”
“‘Summering’,” repeated Joel. “It’s been a while since I heard someone use a season as a verb. Somehow it’s not been long enough.”
You cringed.
“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing to hear that folks like your parents are still living in the lap of luxury, even after the world ended,” said Joel. “A part of me hoped that karma would get ‘em.”
“I didn’t realize how bad it was out here,” you said defensively. “They didn’t even tell me about…what was that that tried to kill me out there? Walkers?”
“Runners,” Ellie supplied. She watched you quietly from her position leaning up against the couch.
“You ran into one?” asked Joel, another wrinkle appearing in his forehead. “Ellie, have you checked her for bites?”
Ellie’s freckled face paled as she swore. “Fuck. No, I forgot. I should’ve done it in the clearing.”
“Well, better now than never. Listen, I gotta meet up with Tommy. You check ‘er. You got a gun ready, just in case?”
“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking thoroughly scandalized. “What do you mean, just in case?”
“I’ll be outside,” said Dina, following Joel as he left the door.
“How come it’s my job?” Ellie called after them. “No one asked me how I felt about this!”
The door banged shut in reply. She turned back to face you, her lips set into a firm line. “Fine. Take your coat off. Let’s make this quick.”
“I didn’t feel anything bite me,” you said, grabbing your knees tighter to your chest. Ellie was intimidating and scary, and you rather liked how you currently wore an extra layer of protection.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” She walked over to you, grabbing your scarf and unwinding it from your neck. “Shit. Is this what Joel called cashmere?”
“Yeah,” you said, watching as she stared at the fabric pooled in her hands. “It’s nothing special, really. Everyone wears them in Terranova.”
Ellie stared at you. “Can you stop saying Terranova? I swear it’s every third word that comes out of your mouth. I honestly couldn’t give a shit about whatever fantasyland you grew up in while the rest of us dealt with the real world.”
You opened your mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. It was discombobulating to hear a stranger swear so often at you.
Ellie knocked your hands from your knees and stared down at you. “Are you actually gonna make me take off everything myself? Do they have hired help to unzip your coats in Terra Novella?”
“Terranova.”
Ellie let out a sharp sigh, then lunged for the zipper near your throat.
“Okay, okay, fine,” you said, yanking yourself away and pulling your zipper down to reveal your standard lab outfit—a satiny button up shirt tucked into slacks. You pulled the rest of your puffer off, letting it drop in a pile next to you.
“So,” you said as Ellie grabbed your arm, gently rolling up the fabric of your blouse and turning your forearm back and forth, “Is this, like, a normal thing? To have deranged people in the woods attack you like that?”
“They’re not people,” she said quietly. Satisfied with your left arm, she moved to the next and let your unbuttoned sleeve fall. “Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
Ellie’s fingers encircled your right wrist as she fiddled with your sleeve. They were warm as they brushed across your skin, just barely touching you. “You really don’t know? I thought you at least knew about outbreak day.”
“Of course I know about outbreak day,” you said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”
Ellie arched a brow.
“They told us that it was a virus,” you added. “That it was lethal and incredibly infectious. Is that not what happened?”
“It’s not a virus, it’s a fungus,” corrected Ellie, letting go of your sleeve and stepping back as you redid the buttons at your wrist. “And it doesn’t just kill. It turns you into—into something like what you saw today. You lose your mind. The only thing that matters to you is biting everyone and spreading the infection.”
“Oh.”
“I saw you get tackled. Did your legs get scratched up at all?”
“No,” you responded, feeling thankful that you wouldn’t need to take your pants off. In that moment, literally nothing seemed more embarrassing. Your hands had begun to shake again.
“Didn’t think so.”
“If it had bitten me, would that mean that I…I would get sick too?”
“Nice going, Sherlock,” said Ellie, returning to her spot against the couch. “Really stellar reasoning skills there.”
You pulled your knees back into your chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. All this time you’d thought it was just a virus—a measly virus that killed. That it could be anything else had never occurred to you.
“Keep shaking and I’m going to start to think that you were bitten.” She smiled thinly at you from across the room.
“I’m sorry,” you said, your teeth bouncing against each other once before you clenched your jaw. “Please cut me some slack. This is just a lot to take in. If you’ll recall, I’ve just been the first person in history to undergo atomic dissolution and reassembly. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.”
“Welcome to the club,” said Ellie, her eyes narrowed. “It’s a wonder any of us are alive.”
Your lips pressed tightly together as you sat, trying your best not to lose it at her. You’d always been brought up to be kind, to be forgiving and sweet and polite. After all, there was never any reason not to be. Terranova’s culture put a heavy emphasis on keeping the peace no matter what. Your parents rarely ever raised their voices. Your professors kindly and respectfully asked their pupils to settle down if they were too noisy, but since you were all brought up with impeccable manners, such instances were few and far between. It just wasn’t a thing to chew strangers out. Such behavior was only reserved for extraordinary situations of the like you’d never experienced. Speaking of manners…
“Thank you,” you said, finally. Yeah, you could be the bigger person.
Ellie’s gaze snapped up to you, her brow furrowed. “Huh?”
“For saving me,” you clarified, avoiding her eyes. They were uncomfortably piercing. “Sorry. I should’ve thanked you earlier. That was rude of me. And I’m also sorry for just barging in here. I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Trust me, I would do anything to be back home right now.”
“I bet you would.” Her eyes dropped briefly to your hands, unblemished and smooth as they clutched your knees. Not even a cuticle was out of place, a result of your weekly manicures and daily lotion habit.
“Sorry,” you said again, feeling heat rise in your cheeks once again. “I probably sound so insufferable and spoiled to you.”
“Just—” She paused, frowning. “Just stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, or whatever.” The words seemed to pain her.
“What’s a QZ?” you asked. Now that you’d had a moment to draw in a few deep breaths, your hands were steady once again.
“Quarantine Zone,” said Ellie. “Established by what was left of the government for those of us normal people. There are a couple scattered around the country in the big cities.”
“Did you live in one? What’re they like?”
She was about to answer when the door banged open.
“Ellie!” Dina’s voice was breathless. “Joel wants me and you to go out and finish the patrol route together. She alright?”
“I’m fine,” you said quickly, hanging your legs off the table and reaching for your puffer.
“God, I fucking love that shirt,” said Dina. “Can I touch it? It looks so soft.”
You had a feeling that you would get on well with her. “Sure.”
“It’s not that soft,” said Ellie from the couch.
“Shut up, Ellie!” Dina walked over to you, grabbing the dangling fabric from your loose sleeves and letting it thread through her fingers. “Sorry about her, Y/N. She’s just like that sometimes.”
“Dina!”
Dina ignored Ellie’s protests, giving you a look full of mirth as she stepped back. “For the record, it was that soft.”
“You couldn’t wear it anywhere,” argued Ellie. “It looks ridiculous. Infected would just snag right onto the sleeves. That’s only if you didn’t get tangled up in a tree from all that loose fabric first.”
“There’s not an abundance of trees or sick fungus people in my research lab,” you said awkwardly. “So that’s not really something that crossed my mind when I got ready this morning.”
“Ha!” Dina’s eyes scrunched. “Ellie, be nice. Maybe she’ll claim us both as her long-lost sisters and get us into wherever she came from, but she’s not gonna if you keep acting like this.”
“It’s okay,” you said, shrugging. “I get it. I can’t even begin to imagine how much different your lives are out here. And, I mean, I probably could if you wanted. I’m pretty sure that all you need is a connection and a negative test for whatever the fungus is called.”
“See?” Dina gestured towards you. “Listen to her. She’s so wholesome.”
“I’d be wholesome too if I led the kind of life where I didn’t know about the infected and got to wear dumb shirts like that all day.”
Dina huffed. “Listen, Y/N, Ellie and I are gonna finish up with patrolling. I’m assuming you want to stay in Jackson until you figure everything out?”
You nodded. “If that’s alright. I don’t mean to impose.”
“We’ll talk to Maria and Tommy once we get back and see about getting you set up somewhere temporarily,” said Dina. “For now, you can just stay at Ellie’s until we finish up. Sound good?”
“Dina!” protested Ellie. “You’re just gonna leave her here unattended without even asking me?”
“What’s she gonna do? Ransack the town? With what weapon, Ellie? Her bare hands? She looks like she’d be blown over if I breathed too hard in her direction.”
You flushed. Sure, you’d never really seen much of a point of bulking up and working out when you were nothing but a student who spent all of her time goofing off with wires and telescopes, but it was humbling to have it pointed out so blatantly.
“She wouldn’t make it a day outside,” continued Dina. “I don’t think she’s stupid enough to try anything. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”
You blinked. “I mean, yeah. I’ve never spent a day without electricity and hot running water, so I’m not really clambering to leave and live in the woods.”
Ellie sighed sharply. “Fine. Cool. Whatever. Just stay where you are, okay? And don’t even think about touching anything.”
~
By the time that she returned with Joel, you were sitting at the table, 2 chapters deep into the one textbook you’d brought along with you for one of your courses.
“Glad to see the house still standing,” Joel quipped as he worked his heavy coat off his shoulders and pulled his boots off. Ellie trailed behind him, hanging up her coat and pulling off a pair of black gloves. “Ellie was concerned you’d raze the whole town.”
“I’m honored that she thinks me so capable,” you said in response, wincing as you had to dogear your textbook, your bookmarks and sticky notes tucked safely in your dorm desk far away.
Ellie sent you an irritated look before her gaze dropped to the textbook in your lap. It lingered for a moment, just long enough for you to know that she was reading the title Exoplanetary Systems.
“Tommy and Maria have decided to let you stay until you get back on your feet,” said Joel, oblivious to the hostility coming from Ellie. “There’s a cottage down the street that’ll be ready for you to move into soon. For now, you can stay with us. There’s an extra room across the hall from Ellie’s.”
“That’s too kind of you,” you said, your voice smooth and gracious after years of having your manners picked apart by your parents.
Joel looked mildly uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah. Don’t mention it. You know how to ride a horse?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Good,” said Joel. “Can you shoot, too?”
You stared. “Uh, shoot what?”
“A gun,” said Ellie slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her mouth contorted into a scowl. She did not seem overjoyed at the prospect of a new housemate.
“No,” you said. Your ears felt like they were on fire. “There’s, uh, a strict ban on guns in Terr–where I grew up. There was no reason to shoot anything.”
Joel whistled. “Well, imagine that. So maybe we won’t put you on patrol just yet. We’ll find something else for you to do. Got any other skills?”
Before you answered, Joel picked up your bag and peered inside of it. “Say, is this a bag of coffee?”
He pulled out the bag of coffee grinds that you’d picked up at the cafe.
“Yeah!” you said. “Before the, uh, accident, my professor sent me to get him tea from the cafeteria. I ended up picking those up since my roommate and I were out. You drink coffee?”
“Not much anymore,” said Joel, picking up the bag and weighing it back and forth. “It’s hard to come by out here. You have to pay an arm and a leg to get just a bit. I haven’t seen a bag like this since before the outbreak.”
“It’s yours,” you said quickly. “I don’t even really like coffee. I just drank it because my roommate would make me a cup.”
Joel shook his head and placed it back in your bag. “No, I couldn’t do that. I’d probably have to trade my whole arsenal plus a horse to get something this big.”
“Please, I insist,” you said. “It’s the least I can do. It’s just going to sit in my bag anyway. You’d appreciate it more.”
“Well…” Joel gave you a considering look. “I s’pose this could cover your work for a few weeks until either we find another job for you or Ellie teaches you to shoot.”
“Joel!” Ellie interjected. “I have my own shit to do.”
“That’s really generous of you,” you said, smiling at Joel. “But you could honestly just take the bag—no need to offer any reimbursement.”
Joel grunted and picked the bag up again, slinging it onto the counter behind him. “Maria’s never gonna believe me until she sees this. Full bag of monsoon malabar…didn’t even think they had that shit anymore…” He continued to mumble to himself as he shuffled around, opening and closing cabinets behind you.
When you looked back up, Ellie was staring again at your book, a line in her brow.
“You can borrow it, if you’d like.” You pushed the book towards her as a poor attempt to call a truce between you two. “It’s not like I actually need to do the reading anymore. I’m already missing lecture.”
You winced at the thought of getting behind in your classes. In the very likely case you weren’t getting back in the next few days, you’d probably need to take a gap semester and return in the fall, delaying your graduation date another 4 months. Your parents were going to kill you. This was going to create an unfillable hole in your resume. “Shooting a gun” and “riding horses” were not acceptable activities to explain away why you took a whole season off.
“No thanks,” said Ellie, pushing it back to you. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”
“It’s about solar systems outside of our locale,” you continued. “There’s a bunch of them. It’s actually really interesting.”
“It doesn’t really sound like it,” she said, but there was no venom behind her voice—just something that sounded like exhaustion.
“Maybe not.” You sighed, deflated. So much for a white flag. “I guess it must seem pretty ridiculous to you.”
Ellie stood there, her arms still crossed and her frown deep. “Joel,” she said, speaking over your shoulder, “I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Joel. You could hear him bustling around in what you assumed was a kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the gas top stove.
When you turned back around, Ellie was already out the door, coat slung over her arm as she shut it.
Before the door closed entirely, her eyes snapped up to meet yours like she knew you’d been watching her.
She was gone before you had the chance to lift your hand to wave goodbye.
again apologies for this if you’ve made it this far. please confiscate my laptop. part 2 coming soon (?) if u want also im not an astrophysics student im a thickheaded cs student who barely survived ap physics so im sorry if i’m doing a disservice to the academic field of astronomy idk shit about it
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x oc#ellie williams self insert#ellie williams x y/n
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Your body flaws — that JJK men are obsessed with
Featuring : Itadori Yuuji, Megumi Fushiguro, Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro
A/N : Had so much fun writing this one im surprised with my level of fluff tolerance fr.
WARNINGS : body insecurities, mentions of make-out sessions
Itadori Yuji :
your teeth ain't the prettiest
a few of them are crooked, and both your front rows are pointy and sharp
and getting yourself a boyfriend who smiles ridiculously sweet 24/7? yeah you thought that's a great idea
when you told him about your insecurity, he tilted his head to the side asking why you were because that was the part of your charm????
makes you laugh and smile as a way to distract you from the mindset you have
you unconsciously cover your mouth while laughing so sometimes he just pulls your wrists away to a steal a kiss
makes a habit of buying you adorable masks so you can smile comfortably
even if he doesn't get to see it everytime
you earn yourself the nickname "baby tiga" (& you lowkey want him to call you that often)
alternatively if you have an oral fixation along with it he'd ask you to nibble on his fingers or biceps
Megumi Fushiguro :
when he accidentally sees your youtube history about ‘how to get rid of hip dips’ he's like what???
you were sitting right beside him and oh did you want to evaporate into thin air
the half dumbfounded and half offended face he made was laughable, but you start to panic
"y/n, is that something you eat? you don't have to.."
Megumi is just so unpredictable hfdksk
by the time you're done with your explanation, his expression changes into a more serious one
he's okay if you have insecurities maybe he has a couple too
but thinking about yourself so lowly that you hid them all the time he's not okay with that
once back home he researches about the 'hip dips'
texts you, "babe, look"
and sends an article named 'Hip Dips Are Totally Normal, So Focus on These Exercises Instead '
your face blooms into a giddy smile helplessly, he's so cute
after you told him you're fine with him touching you there, he wouldn't hesitate
sacrificing his big fluffy hoodies so you don't need to hide your sides
special attention to your curves while you cuddle
Gojo Satoru :
moles. if there’s one thing you wish you could change, it’s the moles on your face
there's four of them — two on the underside of your left eye, one under the nose and one on your bottom lip
and Gojo thinks he has never seen a prettier face than yours
if you're sleeping he'd trace his fingers gently across them
and if you're making out, he'd enjoy giving little licks to the twin moles under your eyes and tiny bites on the rest two
you'd whine. you think he's about to kiss you, but he would go for the mole on your nose instead
once you mentioned about getting your moles removed, and god he almost JUMPED you
he'd say your moles (or alternatively freckles) look like stars scattered across, making a beautiful constellation on your face
you have quite a few on your other body parts too
and don't be surprised if he has a total count of them
sometimes you feel less insecure and more jealous of your four moles
Toji Fushiguro :
you're not a fan of the stretch marks and scars spread on your limbs
oh but Toji is
once you were on a call with your friend complaining about how Toji might ditch you 'cus of your body when he overhears the conversation
you cut the phone abruptly after realizing his presence and god you had no idea since when was he there
"y/n, you coulda told me right?" he says after a moment with an unreadable expression which he has mastered
the unnerving feeling doesn't go away as you try to lessen the tension with your whiny voice, "Tojiii... i.. i'm sorry. It just annoys me... and- and i'm embarassed."
"No, I thought you were honest with me"
your stuttering words gets saved as he begins again without waiting for a reply "I'm sorry you have to be be embarassed about me"
huh what? WAIT? you're confused asf
"They're bad.. fuck, you're right eh? should've done something about it. I'm getting em removed." he checks his face in the mirror, touching his lip scar which you very much loved.
you just stare at him, frozen, as he turns away from the mirror and reaches your side to lift your chin with two fingers
"then y/n, would you love me more?" there's this sly grin he has on his face, but you think just how that scar makes it better, hotter. "ya won't leave me right?"
it takes you time to process and then you chuckle. that's silly. "Toji, why would I leave you for something so stupid?" he's silly.
"Hmm, so why would I care bout somethin like that baby?" he asks lifting his brows
you finally realize why he did all of this
"god, i love you" you crack a smile, Toji tackled down on the bed
and now you know he loves your scars as much as you love his
enjoys resting his head on your tummy besides your stretch marks
can be very intimate with them too, trapping you on bed, licking the expanse of the marks slowly as his eyes never leaves yours and you're reminded of a predatory beast
A/N : fin♡! hope y'all enjoyed this one ^^ reblogs are always appreciated !
Tags : @luckimoon @maybekoya @lifting @zourryxv @bootylischous @feraltrashenergy @skypesblog @rain-in-the-clouds @acereads @regalillegal @popcorn-and-other-fun-stuff @ventiisoverparty @neitiaquinnpb @firebonbon @badum-tsss @cursedwitchsblog @silentsilverdrop @s1mp9000 @north2445 @sqitlet @th3h0nkz @aqua-marine89 @fermentedbeansinacan @evalynanne @okkotsufav @thickussupreme @mooonglod @203steph @originalgentlemenwinner @bluemuffindonutghost @kannra21 @matchakaii @abbacchi0s @aoitoge @jspenft @hecateria @ummmitstoru @dovahkiinsbitch @alexisblakes01 @selfawarejester
#new hc#body posititivity#jjk headcanons#jjk hcs#gojo hcs#gojo headcanons#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#itadori headcanons#itadori yuji#yuji headcanons#megumi headcanons#toji headcanons#toji hcs#toji hc#toji fluff#gojo fluff#yuji fluff#megumi fluff#jjk fluff#jjk#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x y/n#hip dips#freckels#insecurity#comfort#hurt and comfort
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HIII IM SORRY TO ASKTHIS HUT I HAVE READSKME OF YOUR STORIES AND CAN I REQ A AFAB X DOM DILUC💗💗💗 BUT YHEY JUST FINISHED FIGHTING IF ITS OKAY FOR YOU CAN U MSKE IT SMUT<333 (hes on my mind for days omg)
DONT WORRY IM IN A GENSHIN (ESPECIALLY DILUC) HYPERFIXXATION SO IM HAPPY FOR THE ASK
We fight we break up we kiss we make up (Dom!Diluc x AFAB!Reader)
I legit had no title ideas and Katy was the first thing that popped to mind lol
Also I had to look into the tavern because I needed to remember what it looked like and APPARENTLY IT HAS A THIRD FLOOR I TOTALLY FORGOT so yeah now you know
And apologies if it sounds a bit weird, for some reason my brain is not translating and writing correctly, it’s just one of those days yknow? Also could be cuz I’ve been running on literally nothing but caffeine oops
“I’m back.” You called out opening the front door of Angel’s Share.
The usually loud tavern filled with drunken laughter and music was now replaced by dimmed lights and silence. It was late at night, and you had just finished a tiring day of endless commissions.
You looked towards the bar, where your boyfriend usually was tidying everything up for the next day, but instead found the new hire on his spot.
He looked up and smiled.
“Miss, you’re back. Ah! If you’re looking for Master Diluc he is up in the storage room.” The young boy pointed up.
“Thanks Leon. Don’t stay here too late alright?” You smiled in appreciation.
He nodded, and went back to the task at hand.
You climbed up towards the third floor of the tavern, legs aching from the amount of walking you did that day.
“Why are there so many goddamn stairs.” You groaned.
Finally you made it up to the third floor, however, before you were even done walking up the stairs, a loud thud and a string of curse words caught your attention.
The storage door was slightly open, a small amount light pouring out from inside.
“Diluc?” You walked into the room, finding the familiar redhead kneeling down and picking up a bottle of wine.
Thankfully it hadn’t shattered, but a hefty amount of the drink poured out on the floor.
Walking over you took your handkerchief and cleaned the spilt liquid, making Diluc glance at you in surprise.
“You’re back.” He said. His eyes flickered around your face, checking and examining for any sign of injury.
You chuckled. “I am. Rough day at work? I swear I’ve never seen you spill any of the bottles before.”
Diluc huffed and stood up. “This sort of thing is not exactly unusual for bartenders.”
You frowned at his cold reply, raising a brow. “Really bad day huh?”
“Why did you come back so late?” He said. “Commissions usually don’t take you that long. You know it’s dangerous at night.”
Placing the now wet handkerchief on the corner you stood up and stretched. “Oh please Diluc, you know I can handle myself. Besides Franz was with me.”
The redhead’s eyes narrowed. “You were paired up with him again?”
“He asked for my help patrolling a few areas around Springvale and we kind of lost the track of time. Besides he’s new into the guild and as his senior I should help him right?”
“He’s been in the guild for six months already, if he isn’t able to handle the job by now maybe he should think of another occupation.”
Diluc crossed his arms, scoffing. “And besides, what exactly was it that made the two of you ‘loose the track of time’ so much that it became one in the morning? Last time I checked, scouting for hilichurl camps doesn’t exactly take that long”
You looked at your boyfriend with a confused expression. “What are you implying Diluc? You know it’s part of my job to help other members as well.”
“Right, but I don’t recall you spending that much time with them before.”
“Seriously Luc? You’re acting like a child, just because he made one drunken joke-”
“I’ve seen drunk people and he was not one of them, he was legitimately trying to flirt with you and now you’re enabling his fixation.” He said, matter-of-factually.
He glared at you and you felt a pang of shock and anger course through your body.
“Oh really?! I was doing my job Diluc, you can’t expect me to shirk my responsibilities because you’re throwing a tantrum.” You threw your hands up in frustration, pacing around the room.
Diluc groaned in annoyance and walked towards you. “A tantrum? I have every right to question a man who tried to flirt with my partner.”
“Right, because you don’t trust me.” You turned to look at him, accusingly.
“I never said that!” He stared at you wide eyed and you let out a sardonic laugh.
“Well you might as well! Do you seriously think I would go behind your back-”
“Do not put words in my mouth Y/N.”
“-Flirting with someone else for some reason.” You continued, walking towards him.
“I would never-”
“How could you think so little of me?!”
“Will you just listen to be and be quiet for a minute?”
Diluc gently gripped your shoulders to stop you from moving, the two of you so close your noses could almost touch.
Shaking his hands off you glared at him in defiance.
“Why don’t you make me, Master Diluc.” You sneered at him, the words coming out before you could stop them.
Diluc stared at you, surprise apparent on his face.
Tension enveloped the room.
Neither of you said a word as you suddenly felt the temperature spike.
Diluc glanced down at your lips, and then at you, and before you could say anything else he pulled you into a fierce kiss, lips crashing into yours.
You gasped and gripped the collar of his coat, your hand gripping his hair.
Diluc pushed you against the wall, hands reaching down and pushing your shirt up, his knee pushing between your legs. You moaned, grinding against him as he kissed your collarbone.
However, before you could do anything more he pulled away.
You let out a disappointed huff.
“Diluc what are you…”
You weren’t able to finish your sentence as you felt yourself being pushed down on your knees. Diluc had quickly unbuckled his pants, his throbbing cock now in front of you.
“Wait- Diluc-”
“I thought I told you to be quiet.” He said, gripping your hair and pulling you towards his dick, a hint of dominance flashing in his eyes. “Now suck it.”
You gulped and nodded slowly, opening your mouth to lick the tip of his member before sucking.
Pressing your legs together to stop the heat from between them spreading, you continued sucking and gently licking his dick.
Diluc huffed and pulled you away.
“Diluc? Wha-mmggh!” You gagged as he shoved his dick into your mouth, thrusting into the back of your throat. Tears prickled the corner of your eyes, and Diluc chuckled.
“You wanted me to shut you up didn’t you? Where’s that challenging attitude from before?”
You gripped his thighs, and Diluc thrusted in further before pulling your hair and making you look up at him.
“Look at me, ngh- won’t you? This is how you properly suck your master’s dick alright? Mmph, yes, just like that. Be a good doll and take it all in.” He moaned.
You felt your jaw numb, tears rolling down from his size.
Before long Diluc groaned, almost reaching his climax. You tried to pull away but he pushed his cock, making you drink all of his seed.
He looked down at you, a smirk on his face. “Drink it all. Don’t let a single drop fall.”
You swallowed and fell back, coughing.
Still gasping for air, you let out a surprised gasp as you felt a pair of arms lift you up, pushing you against he doorway. You tried to turn around but Diluc kept you firmly in place.
“Are you really that wet just from sucking me off? So naughty~” he chuckled, pressing a finger against your sex. You moaned and tried to grind against him.
“Do you want to feel good?” He whispered, gently biting your earlobe.
You whimpered, nodding. “Please Diluc.”
He nodded and helped you take off your pants and already dripping panties.
Diluc rubbed your entrance with his finger, and you whined, needing him inside of you.
“Diluc.”
He lightly pressed his finger against you. “Address me correctly.” He ordered.
Your eyes widened and you turned to look at him. A determined and lustful expression filled his face.
You had to admit, you liked seeing him being so forward and taking charge. It made your skin prickle with heat, the way his eyes lidded and roamed around your body.
Taking a small breath you tried to get your voice to reply.
“M…master…” you whispered.
He raised a brow, an excited grin on his face. “Good.” He applied more pressure. “Now apologize.”
“A-apologize?” You repeated, voice still hoarse from before. “But-ngh!”
Diluc inserted a finger inside. However, he didn’t move.
“For talking to me that way before.” He pressed his finger inside you a bit. “For provoking me like that.” His lips caressed your neck, gently touching it. “Well?”
You huffed and closed your eyes, face heating up. “I…I’m sorry…”
He bit your shoulder. “For what?”
“I’m…I’m sorry for provoking you…master…’
“Good girl.”
You gasped as you felt him move his finger inside of you, quickly inserting another.
Diluc made sure to press all the right spots, making you moan out in pleasure.
“You’re so tight…” he whispered. “At least it means that bastard hasn’t touched you this way.”
“Aah! No, no just you…” you whimpered.
“Hm?”
“It’s just…just you Diluc…you’re the only one I want this way…”
“You…” Diluc’s face turned as red as his hair and he let out a nervous chuckle.
He pressed his cock against your wet entrance, unable to not be inside you anymore.
“Mr. Diluc?”
A voice called out.
You both stood still.
“Crap…” you whispered, turning to look at Diluc keeping an eye on the door. “Leon..”
The door was barely open. However if he walked in further inside you were sure he would catch you. “Diluc, if he comes in he’ll see-”
You barely finished talking before Diluc inserted his cock inside of you, making you gasp in pleasure.
“I can’t wait anymore.” He whispered. “Be quiet or else he’ll hear us.”
“But- wait- ngh!” You whimpered. Diluc roughly thrusted into you, his rough hands teasing your nipples.
“Sir?” The voice asked, the sound of footsteps coming closer.
“I’m alright, Leon.” Diluc called out, making the footsteps stop. “Did you…need something.” He hoped the boy didn’t notice the strain on his voice.
“Well…I finished cleaning up downstairs. Did Miss Y/N leave already?” Leon asked.
“Yes.” Diluc thrusted further inside you, hitting your deepest spots. “She just…left.”
You placed your hands on the wall, trying to keep your balance and accidentally grinding against him.
“Master Diluc…more” you moaned, moving your hips.
“Shit…” Diluc cursed, gripping your hips tightly and speeding up his pace.
“I can’t...I can’t, my voice, ah! Diluc, m-my voice…” you whispered.
Grunting, Diluc placed a finger inside your mouth, trying to muffle your sounds.
“Oh, well…if you have the rest taken care of then am I allowed to leave? Unless you need my help-”
“I do not Leon I-” he stopped as he felt you suck his finger, and squeezed your hips before he cleared his throat. “T-Thank you…you can go now.”
“Great! Goodnight sir!”
You heard the sound of footstep’s receding down the stairs, and as soon as you heard the front door close you felt Diluc’s hand move and you let out a scream of pleasure.
“Yes! Master, right there!” You gasped.
Diluc grunted and turned your head to kiss you, both of you separating only to moan or catch your breath.
“I love you…” he whispered.
You smiled.
“I…I love you too…I’m all yours Diluc…only yours…” you whimpered.
Diluc stopped, looking at you. A small smile appeared on his face and he bumped his forehead against yours. “I’m all yours as well my love….” he gently kissed you, sucking on your bottom lip, before moving again.
Eventually you both began to reach your peak.
Diluc placed a trail of kisses on your shoulder and began moving up towards your neck.
“I wonder…” he whispered between kisses, “I wonder what would happen if I were to leave a mark on your for the world to see…”
“Wh-what? Hold on, Diluc I still have work-anngh!” You whined, feeling Diluc suck on your neck until a hickey began to form.
He let go and stared at his handiwork with a proud expression, before biting your shoulder.
“Diluc!” You gasped.
He bit and sucked on every spot of your body- on your back, neck, shoulders, your wrist, and with every single place he made sure to leave a visible mark for everyone to see that he was yours, and you were his.
You whined and pulled on his hair, letting him know you were close.
Diluc turned you around for you to face him, moaning, feeling your walls clench around him in tightly, Diluc finished you off with a rough kiss, finally the two of you reaching climax.
He grabbed you and pulled you down on the floor with him, placing your head on his chest.
His body emitted warmth, and you cuddled closer to him.
“I can’t believe you almost let Leon see us.”
You eventually said, voice raspy from screaming.
“Hmph, he never comes inside the room unless I ask him to. If I knew we were going to be caught I wouldn’t have kept going.”
You scoffed and looked up at him before laying back down. “Ugh, still you- you’re lucky he didn’t come in.”
Diluc chuckled before burying his face into your hair. “You know I wouldn’t let anyone else see you like that, dear. It’s only a privilege I alone posses.”
You flushed at the words and cleared your throat. “Mmm, fine, you’re right.”
You both laid in a comfortable silence before you sat up and turned towards him, caressing his cheek. “I’m sorry I accused you of not trusting me. I know you were only worried. But believe me when I tell you I have things handled- the only person I want in my life is you.”
Diluc gently pulled you down and nuzzled your nose against his before smiling. “I understand. I apologize as well. I know you are more than capable of punching the life out of that miserable adventurer if he tries to do anything to you.” He said, kissing the tip of your nose.
You laughed and laid on top of him, sighing as he pet your hair. “Hmm true, I do throw a pretty mean punch. I’ll try not to work too late, alright? But you need to promise me the same.”
“Alright.”
“And don’t try to kill someone just because they hit on me. I can take care of that.”
He chuckled. “Alright, alright.”
“I mean, you don’t see me walking up to Donna and threatening her every time she mentions you right? Because-mmph, Diluc!” You scolded him as he turned you around and kissed you, smiling lovingly.
“Do you ever quiet down?” He teased.
You smirked. “Mmm no. Why don’t you try and make me again, pretty boy?”
It wasn’t before long that the two of you began round two.
Next day you chided him because you had to wear a coat over the sweltering heat, to cover every single mark he had given you.
Diluc only smiled proudly at the statement, but everyone else had thought you were either sick or had become mad for wearing such warm clothes during summer.
After Kaeya teased you for the upteenth time about your outfit, you made a mental note to get your revenge that night, as soon as you were done with your commissions.

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Discord Discourse (knj)
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summary- Kim Namjoon likes to spend time in a discord server... dedicated to him. With new friends and a budding crush, will he ever be able to truly be himself without revealing who he is?
word count- 2.8k
pairing- idol!Namjoon x fanfic writer!Reader
rating- PG15
genre- internet relationships, s2(maybe)lovers, angst, fluff, slightly smutty
warnings- pretty angsty, a little sexting but not actual sexting, superficial conversations portrayed as deep (lol im sorry I didn’t want to make this too long), infatuation, open ending, talks of a daddy kink
a.n.- this was not supposed to Joon’s bday drabble but it somehow ended up so lol. this is for all my fic writers out there. please don’t hate me for what the reader did... there may or may not be another part in the works oops lol
Thanks to the beautiful @raplinesmoon for helping me brainstorm, beta and fix the ending!!
As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌
-
Kim Namjoon had a bad habit.
It wasn’t like watching too much porn, although it was somewhat like that. It wasn’t googling himself to read comments on his videos, although it was somewhat like that. It wasn’t talking to his fans incognito, although it was exactly like that.
Sitting in his room, in his boxers, he had all the lights off. His eyes were fixated on his screen, two fingers hovering over the touchpad of his laptop as he scrolled periodically. He pushed his glasses back, his face luminated by the blue light of his screen and swallowed, ignoring the way his stomach knotted and his face heated.
Kim Namjoon had a bad habit. And it all started when he joined a random discord server named after his studio. Of course he never revealed himself. To the unsuspecting largely female members, he was John, an autocorrect happenstance that granted him his anonymity. Not that anyone would believe he was him anyway. Not in these circles.
He thought it would be cute to interact with his fans when his new solo song came out, a way to practice his English. He wanted to know their reactions and their criticisms without the love. Little did he know that all he would get was affection and that affection would not only feed his dwindling ego but give him a dopamine rush that had become so addictive it had his heart racing every time a notification popped on his phone.
monolover: omgggggg did you see joon in the new mv???? I’m fucking dying!
moonchild: yes I want to lick his whole body! GODDAMN HES PERFECT!!!
joonsbicycle: honestly if he’s not getting every inch of his body worshipped rn whats even the point of life?
moonlover: I volunteer as tribute! God the things I would let that man do to me!!!
He chuckled at the thread, lower lip caught between his teeth and looked around his dark room. The silence in the air was deafening. He liked his home. He was proud of his collection, making it look like an art museum, beautiful and untouchable. The wooden accents and the plush furniture was comforting but they felt cold.
There was no one there to worship his body. There was no one even there to kiss him. Which is why this was a bad habit. He shouldn’t be getting happy sucked into this small world of eight women who had somehow unlocked more kinks in him than should be possible. And he really shouldn’t be holding his breath when your name showed that you were typing.
It was unhealthy to be almost in love with someone who he didn’t even know. Yet when your message popped up, his heart skipped a beat and his boxers got tighter.
yn: if namjoons sitting alone rn it’s a crime!!! I would be on my knees in front of him marking those thighs fuckkk.
yn: speaking of! new super smutty fic is out reblog for good skin lol I really hope he never finds my blog he would be traumatized.
“You have no idea what you do to me,” Namjoon whispered as he stared into the dark abyss in front of him, imagining you crawling towards him, your lips travelling up his legs, your teeth leaving indentations between the muscles.
When he first joined the server, he had been immediately drawn to you. Perhaps it was because he had joined right after he posted about his plans for opening a gallery and the first thing he saw was your in depth analysis on an artist you admired but he had never heard of. It made him eager to post about art too and gave him the push to step away from his nerves and talk. He expected to be told that he was boring and that nobody cared. He was used to that. But the server was inviting, asking questions and letting him soliloquize about paint strokes and abstractions. They welcomed him with open arms without knowing who he was, especially you.
You asked him probing questions that made him think, re-evaluate his stances, and then you turned out to be something out of his wet dreams. The more time he spent on the server, he realized it wasn’t just a place to discuss his and his team’s music and accomplishments. It was a place where they also discussed how attractive he was. In full uncensored detail.
After only a month, he had read every single work of fiction you had created, all of them featuring him. The other members of the server were writers too, but somehow he only found your works alluring. The first thing he read was a whopping ninety thousand word story about heartbreak and love and perseverance. It had him tearing up with his character, a broken man who worked a dead end job.
He had praised it and the moment you told him it was supposed to be an anti capitalist piece, he read it all over again. This time he caught the nuances and critiques of a system he hated and was a part of — just like the Namjoon in the story. You had never met him, yet his fictional self made all the decisions he would make, felt the things he would feel, and after a really long time, he felt like he was seen. His fictional self wasn’t an idol, he wasn’t famous or beloved. He was just himself and it made his longing for a normal life seem… well, normal.
With time, he used your stories to teleport himself into worlds he wouldn’t experience, into situations he would never be in, and he felt alive. Seeing himself from your eyes made him feel incredible, invincible, even if you were practically a stranger.
So without any further ado, he clicked the link you sent and lost himself in a new world. A world where he was apparently a sex god that could make you cum six times in a row. He was hard by the time he finished the short story, and then he read it again, wanting to memorize the moves you so desired. He knew he would never meet you in real life. He had been lucky but he would never get that lucky. Yet he did it, stroking himself as he imagined how you would sound. Your female characters always whimpered when teased and moaned his name breathily. Would he ever get to hear you whimper?
As if reading his mind, you sent him a message.
yn: don’t get too turned on reading the new story. I want you to figure out the hidden meaning 🤪
john: what hidden message is in jisoo calling Namjoon daddy?
yn: john we all know you love when I call Namjoon daddy in my fics lol but look deeper 👀
john: it’s only cause it seems like your characters love saying daddy. Anything you wanna confess babe?
yn: ughhhhh I hate that you all know my kinks because of this!!! tell me when you see it
Namjoon read the piece again, ignoring how turned on he was to find nuances, and then he read the description of the room, a description he had skimmed over to get to the good parts. How did he miss that?
john: theyre fucking in prison?!
john: WHY IS NAMJOON IN PRISON?!
john: I thought you said he would be a good guy! He’s always a good guy in your fics!!!
yn: don’t get all emo on me. He could be falsely imprisoned lol
yn: but nah I put him in prison as an allegory. Like how life can feel like you’re caged in but you forget about that feeling if you have someone you love by your side.
yn: ugh I hate explaining stuff makes me feel like a belong on r/verydeep HAHAHHA
john: that’s actually fucking profound. Who knew porn could be art? 😝
yn: sex with me is always art thank you very much
john: yeah I bet it is, baby. I wouldn’t mind you calling me daddy anytime.
Namjoon blinked as soon as he registered what he had sent, his heart pounding in panic. He had always had these thoughts about you. He never thought he would tell you any of them. What was fucking wrong with him?! Did he really think a few flirting comments from you gave him free reign to sext! God he was like the terrible men on Tinder, just a testosterone filled Neanderthal focused on sex. Fuck!
yn: as hot as I find out intellectual discourse I really wouldn’t sext with a stranger. you could be like twelve for all I know
Namjoon perked up at the message. You technically didn’t say you didn’t want to, just that you wouldn’t. Perhaps he stood a semblance of a chance when it came to you. Perhaps all the texting and subtle flirting made you like him too.
john: as a matter of fact I turned 28 today. so I’m definitely not twelve
yn: ha you’ve been reading too many of my fics your bday really the same as Joons?
Oh… he hadn’t thought through about this piece of information. Of course you knew when your favourite celebrity’s birthday was! But hey a lot of people have birthdays at the same time.
john: virgins unite baby
john: VIRGOS! I MEANT VIRGOS!
yn: lmfao not helping your case
john: how do I prove I’m of age
yn: honestly idk
yn: guess no sexting for us. rip.
john: well… what if we do a voice chat?
john: not that I just want to sext you!
john: it’ll just be nice to hear your voice and get to know you better
yn: ha I’m not going to sext you daddy 🤣
yn: but sure I like talking to you
(yn calling)
Namjoon’s eyes widened at the screen, his throat dry. He hasn’t expected this easy acquiescence. He thought you would just blow him off, but after months of daily chats he should’ve anticipated that you’d be comfortable enough to chat with him. Taking a deep breath, he clicked the little green phone to pick up.
“Hello.”
“Hey! Wow, your voice is really deep. Somehow even though your name is John I expected a girl,” you giggled and it was a rush of endorphins tapped right into his veins. Your voice was nothing like he imagined. Where he thought of you to have a high pitched, slightly princess-ey tone, your real voice was lower, an alto with a rasp that made him weak. He wanted to listen to it everyday.
“So does this prove I’m not a twelve year old?” he teased, hiding his nerves with a confident bravado you preferred in the fictional Namjoon.
“Nah. But I really want to talk about this book I’m reading because it’s so funny and dumb in the best way and I could care less how old you were,” you replied. He chuckled as you launched into a rant about this romance series you were reading about a group of men who read romance to solve their romantic problems. Namjoon lost himself a little in the similarities between himself and the plot. Wasn’t he also reading romance to mold himself into a perfect man, albeit he was trying to woo the author herself, but still. However as you continued, he thought about how exceptionally stupid it was for him to even attempt to seek out something other than friendship with you.
It wasn’t as if he could just ask you out and take you on a date. He couldn’t hold your hand or kiss you under the lamplight of a rain soaked street. He only knew your first name and if your accent was any indication, you most likely didn’t live anywhere near him. Should he really try to start something if he knew for a fact that he couldn’t give you the romance that he knew you wished for?
Decision made, his nerves eased and he listened to your rants, discussing the novel he had never read. He couldn’t let his heart get involved. If you love someone, set them free, isn’t that what they said? Well he would set you free to meet the guy of your dreams. You didn’t actually like him, you had mentioned to him time and time again that the Namjoon in your stories wasn’t based of off the real one, and other than light teasing, you had made no indication that you thought his alter ego ‘John’ was up to your standards either. No matter which persona he was, he didn’t fit you, so for the sake of the only freeing friendship he had, he decided it was better not to complicate things.
At least until you said your next words.
“Want to hear about my next story? I think I’m going to write my first idol fic. Something about the loneliness of fame, of how isolating it seems,” you pondered out loud, and Namjoon hated how much he already related to the story.
“Tell me about it. Fame fucking sucks,” he commented, momentarily forgetting his disguise.
“Are you famous, John?” you asked, a teasing grin visible over the line, making Namjoon contemplate whether to come clean. At 3am, his impulsivity was at an all time high so without any forethought of consequences, he hit the camera icon.
The screen split into two, the left side showing his dark room before he clicked on his bedside lamp. The bright light blinded him momentarily, his hand automatically rubbing his eye before he sheepishly looked at the camera. He heard nothing from you but could see your icon showing you were still on the call.
“Hi… umm I guess I’m kinda famous,” he said, laughing uncomfortably. The longer the silence went on, the more his nerves clawed at him, making him flush so deeply, he wished he could turn back time.
“What… the… fuck?”
He heard you whisper before the call disconnected. Staring at the chat, he tried to overcome the sudden wave of dejection at your rejection. It was a logical response. You had said multiple times you wished he never read your works, of course you were taken aback to learn about him, about who he really was. He should give you some time to catch up.
But patience was never Namjoon’s strong suit, so he messaged almost immediately.
john: please say something
You didn’t reply for an hour even when your icon had a tiny green circle next to it, indicating that you were still there.
yn: I am really really sorry about all the fics and the rude comments. I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable and I apologize if these conversations were creepy or disturbing. Just know that you are a great source of inspiration for me and I hope you keep making amazing music for me and other fans. Thank you so much for your hard work. I will delete my blog if you like and I won’t bother you again, john.
yn: I mean Namjoon.
yn: really sorry again.
yn: also happy birthday!
Namjoon stared at his screen cursing at himself for ruining almost a year long friendship for a moment of loneliness. You had said you made him uncomfortable but he was sure that if anyone was uncomfortable it was you. Bracing himself, he decided to answer the only way he knew how. Honestly.
john: Please don’t apologize. You have never made me uncomfortable Y/N. Please believe me. I really do enjoy your stories and talking to you. I would consider us friends if you’d have me.
As soon as he pressed enter he got a response. Only it wasn’t one he was expecting.
Your message could not be delivered. This is usually because you don't share a server with the recipient or the recipient is only accepting direct messages from friends. You can see the full list of reasons here: https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/360060145013
His hands shook as he wrote another message only to get the same message in return. After a year of friendship it seemed that he should’ve just hid his true self after all. Shutting his laptop, fell onto his back on the bed, lying to himself that he was okay and that it didn’t hurt.
Opening your blog on his phone, he was relieved to see it still up. Heart pounding in a last ditch effort, he raced to send you a message. Copy pasting his earlier words from discord, he hoped that this time they reached you.
He was ecstatic when the script under his text changed from delivered to seen, his heart soaring in the effervescence of hope. You never replied back, at least not till his eyes were scratchy from staring at the screen and his lids were heavy from sleep.
Kim Namjoon had a bad habit. But if he could salvage his friendship with you, he had no intentions of breaking it.
-
next
taglist - @awhnamjoon @alpacaseoks @raplinesmoon @codeinebelle @aislinnstanaka@miscelunaaa @moonchild1 @shydestinyyouth @itsjaneeet @piecesofapril11@yoontaethings @jeonyreads @pb-n-juju @everythingaboutfangirling @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997
Thank you for reading this fic! If you liked it, please tell me your thoughts. I appreciate your feedback!
Please reblog and check out more stories on my masterlist <3
#namjoon x reader#namjoon fluff#namjoon smut#namjoon angst#bts scenarios#rm x reader#rm fluff#rm smut#rm angst#namjoon fanfiction#rm fanfiction#rm fanfic#bts fanfic#joon day#bts x reader#HAPPY JOON DAY!#thebtswritersclub#houseofddaeng#bangtanbathhouse#ficscafe#purplearmynet#52hertz
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New year new me ☃️
Merry Christmas and New Year’s everyone ☃️🤍
Pile#1
Cards:Justice,Four of swords,Two of cups,Page of wands,Eight of cups
Okay pile one ! So in 2022 I’m seeing you were kind of lazy when it came to your goals you wanted so much for yourself but you weren’t able to get it because you were stuck in some type of resting mode where you didn’t want to put in any hard work to get to where you want to be laziness was one of the main factors in 2022 for you pile one or you always having to be there for someone and you didn’t have enough time to deal with yourself or your mental health the main message of 2022 is to get up and do you and be in power if you don’t get up and do you know you want to do you wont know what’s waiting for you at the end of the tunnel its okay to rest but remember where your mind is fixated remember what your doing it for have motivation because everything that your going through this year wont be the same in 2023 when your showing your hard work good karma is going to eventually come for you .Im also seeing in 2022 you were tired and drained of busting your ass for love or running after a love connection or you feeling like your trying so hard for no reason but in general being tired of sharing your energy its like the ball is always in your court and you always have to fix it .But in 2023 you need to close the door on something that’s not fulfilling either its a relationship or a family member you need to forget to get in this situation not everyone deserves another chance not everyone deserves what you have to offer 2023 is a new opportunity to find newness and new ideas learning something different other than what you experienced .☃️
Pile#2
Cards:Ace of pentacles (Reversed) ,The fool (Reversed),Six of swords,Ten of swords,Three of swords
Okay pile two! So in 2022 I’m seeing that you could of had problems with spending and having bad strategy when it came to doing things and planning for different things or investing in things that were honestly a waist of time or a waist of money this years lesson was think about where your spending your time think about what your doing before you do it here I’m also seeing in 2022 you were very hard to trick or very gullible when it came to decisions or some of you were resistant to change in 2022 you wanted to stay were which it wasn’t doing you any justice or you just being fearful of moving away from something or somebody I’m seeing some of you moving to a new state and not wanting to you being afraid of change in general .In 2023 your going to be finally be done with bullshit your just going to let things come in there favor and if they don’t work they don’t work out this is the energy that 2023 has to give your going to be abandoning a lot of habits thats going to eventually leave you in a depression but 2023 has a lot to offer after all of the grief ends for you .☃️
Pile#3
Cards:The Magician,The chariot,Death,Three of wands,Seven of pentacles
Okay pile three! Im seeing that in 2022 your manifestations or wishes finally came true and now your bringing it into 2023 with you all the people and friends and other things you wished for are all coming with you your turning your talents and creativity into something wonderful this could be a business taking off or a college offer or scholarship but everything is turning out how it should go you have had strength and determination all year don’t turn down because you got what you want and asked for have that determination and go for more don’t settle for what you have all your hard work paid be humble and discipline like you have been doing .In 2023 some people might not be excited about where your going but its the principle of letting people be mad your transforming into the person you always wanted to be so why are you stopping for someone else let things end let things change up I’m seeing you having a lot of commitment to get more progress your going to be on a adventure 2023 either its doing something you never did before or you being focused on your religion but 2023 is going to be all about focus and determination and hard work.☃️
#pick a pile#astrology#tarotcommunity#pick a card#tarot pac#tarot reading#divination#psychic#intuition#tarottribe#winter#christmas#new year
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Im sorry, but a lot of your fizzarozzie criticism feels like bad faith.
The show hasn't told us why Oz had to make sexbots for Mammon. He clearly doesn't want to, so it's odd to assume he did so by choice. Oz saved Fizz, yes, and Fizz clings to Oz because he's vulnerable and traumatized, but why is your solution that they break up rather than have development that leads to independence? And I'm not entirely convinced Fizz is Oz's "trophy wife" just because he's a performer at his club.
And finally, why insist that Fizz needs Blitz in his life to develop as a character? Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but I'm getting a "Fizz needs less Ozzie and more Blitz." vibe and I don't really get it.
Criticism and interpretation of canon events isn’t really qualifying as “bad faith” that implies I’m being dishonest on purpose. But I’m just reading what is in front of me.
Nobody can force you to use your factory to design, manufacture, ship out, advertise in your territory, and profit off of a product for almost ten years straight. It’s odd to assume he could be forced and if he was, then he failed to protect Fizz again and allowed himself to be used as a tool in what is clearly the worst and most traumatising part of his exploitation. And if it really is that bad, why did he wait so many years to say ‘I’m pretty sure you’re uncomfortable with it too’ but Fizz says he just doesn’t think about it.
Fizz clings to him because he has nobody left and was basically thrown into his arms by circumstance. My recommendation is a relationship break, and considering the immortality dilemma, I don’t want it to end with Oz giving up his entire life and leaving the sins, with Fizz dying alone of old age in Ozzies hands, or Fizz becoming a special immortal imp exception when he doesn’t like feeling superior or privileged to begin with.
He’s not performing anymore. So there’s that.
Because after they break the codependency, the on stage performing dynamic, and gratitude aspect, and the sugar daddy aspect is gone. What’s really left?
Your last paragraph is just…not what I said. He needs to reconnect with his past, his family. Blitz was just the one who triggered the character development in him, he was his best friend and performance partner for the most crucial part of his young life. Cash or others’ manipulation caused him to fixate on this person as the source of his trauma, his insecurity, his need to be the best. But it wasn’t the case. He doesn’t know how to deal with that. And Blitz is why he’s running from his past and feels he can’t go back. Of course it’s him he needs to unpack things with. Yeah he does need to talk to him more. They barely get to talk without interruption or Goetia shoe horning.
I’d like for fizz to have his own brand, not Buckzo, not Mammon, not Ozzie, his own security and his own self defence. And I’ve got ideas for both. He needs his ‘i don’t need a man’ arc. He said it’s great not being in the spotlight for once, and he literally sleeps under a spotlight
This may be hard to hear, but it’s clear that everyone just wants to keep the two separate in case they threaten canon ships
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First of all, I hope you know your AU is SO FCKING GOOD I CAN'T STOP HAVING HEADCANONS ABOUT IT (this happens to me when I fixate on something lol).
Anyways the one that I think about the most lately is Ian and Anthony writing songs by themselves during the hiatus. I don't know what their relationship is like in your AU, or whether they had good/bad breakup, but I like to think that they both wrote music that will never see the light of day out of embarrassment.
Some titles for Anthony:
Best Interviewer: about knowing how much he avoids talking and instead lets others do the talking
Birthday Card: about happy (now bittersweet) childhood memories
Quota of Self-Importance: reflecting on his selfishness towards his former friend and co-writer
Nostalgia: about looking back into his old songs and missing more than just the music
Magnifying Glass: sort of The Sun 2.0, although this one will be hidden even from Ian. For all the things that The Sun says (talking about Ian), Magnifying Glass talks about himself as the perfect antithesis, almost as a response to the other song, like two puzzle pieces.
Some titles for Ian:
Compartmentalize: about realizing how much he's hiding and keeping from everyone, even though on the outside he looks put-together
Where Are You: about missing someone. He thinks the song is way more subtle than it is
The President: about having to take control of everything in his professional and personal life now that isn't a part of a duo
Bummer: self-reflecting about the music he's doing on his own, melancholic and devoid of any beauty (or so he thinks)
[REDACTED]: an instrumental. Even he doesn't know what it is about. He just knows it gives him chills when he hears it, but he doesn't know why
Sorry about the rant lmao. I genuinely have an idea about the topic every song in their "Friendship Always Wins" album is, but of course, those are just a theory.
I have wayyy too many ideas for songs in their hiatus lol these are just the ones from the top of my head.
Thank you for this wonderful AU and your gorgeous edits!! Have a nice day :D
OH MY GODDDD i ADORE this thank you so much :') i literally love so so dearly that people are like. making headcanons ab it because that's truly what it's meant for. i've said it before and i'll say it again - this is truly our lil barbie dream world wherein anything you want to be canon Can at that moment. it's so fun and im so glad people are enjoying these much
as for the songs, I. LOVE THESE. SO MUCH. all of the anthony ones? incredible, 10/10, but the ian ones are just so..... like perfect and beautiful??? oh my god im emotional about fake songs from a fake guy about his fake former bandmate..... he's SOOOO in his sad girl music solo era. i love it!!!
truly, i love hearing all theories/headcanons/whatever ab this au and all others, truly makes my heart sing, pun intended <3 tysm for sharing and i hope YOU have an incredible day !!
#botbau#ianthony#shipping#made for me#kind of ya know. a contribution to the au world at least !#anyway tysm again this is everything <33333#ask#asks#hellsquills
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Idia Shroud Boyfriend Headcannons
i feel like shit and im lonely. that's it. bone apple teeth.
Not the most physically affectionate at the beginning of the relationship
Would spend as much time as he could with you though instead
Even if you guys don't say anything, he likes just having you in his presence while his working or playing games or watching anime
Once he's more comfortable, would not let you go out of his stinky little grippers
Very touched starved since the most amount of physical affection he gets is from Ortho (which doesn't really count since he's his brother and also a robot and robots aren't really that cuddly, y'know?)
Either the big spoon or snuggling against your chest when you guys cuddle (congratulations! you've become a glorified body pillow /j)
If you're smaller than him, he likes having you on his lap and nuzzles into the crook of your neck
If you're bigger than him, he likes being the one in your lap and nuzzling into the crook of your neck
Doesn't seem like the guy to have a pet name for you unless it's a joke
And what's worse is that he seems dead serious before starting to loose composure and giggling like an idiot (calls you his discord kitten in the most monotone voice before cackling like an idiot-)
The most he'll do is call you baby and even then that's rare
Info dumps his favorite new series, game, or fixation he has at the moment because he trusts that you'll actually listen and not make fun of him for it
Would love to have this reciprocated because it makes him feel like you trust him too
Would go outside for a date if you drag him outside ask him nicely but ultimately prefers you two stay home
Likes going to quiet places like libraries, small cafes, or even cat cafes when you go out for dates
Heavily considers taking a kitten home
When you guys are home, you mainly just play games, watch shows, or just sit and vibe
You think playing video games would be all cute and stuff, but mans puts weeks into his games there is no way you're winning unless he clearly lets you win
He comes from a rich family so he'd buy you gifts every once in a while (ex. a good mic, one of those rgb keyboards, cute plushies, etc.)
Watching anime together is nice though, since he's pretty quiet minus the time in between episodes and whenever he needs to get up to get something / go to the restroom
Hums along to the anime ops and eds which is really cute imo
Would get you a little cerberus plushie so that you're always reminded of him
Would also buy you guys matching hoodies but is too embarrassed to give you yours so it's just sitting in his room until you find it
Speaking of hoodies, he likes it when you wear his, if you can
It's such a cliche nOrMiE thing to do but he just starts going bonkers for that shit
If your clothes fit him, he likes the idea of wearing your clothes too, but would rather die than try and you catching him
If Grim is nearby, he likes annoying playing with him as much as he can before he started getting bitten
"Why do you wanna go outside so bad? You have all you need r-right here ... minus the fresh air- y'know what, fair point lol."
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Imagine a reader who loves to smoke drugs, almost as much as eddie. One day they're both really high and the reader completely flusters him by pulling his chin down to open his mouth and blowing smoke into it. He'd be a mess afterward, can't even speak for himself.
"Uhm... did you- did you just-... wow..."
Definitely would ask for the reader to do it again. He swears he gets a little bit higher every time they do.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS OMFG
YESYESYES
FLUSTERED EDDIE?????? COUNT ME THE FUCK IN
warnings: weed, smoking weed (Idk a lot about weed so I'm sorry in advance) subby Eddie, light nsfw, embarrassed Eddie, low-key dom reader, grinding, making out.
gender neutral :)
word count: 900 (IT'S A DRABBLE IM SORRY)
. . .
Dating Eddie Munson was one hell of a good time.
The dates, the late-night conversations, the making out in his van-
But there was one great perk to dating Eddie, something you didn’t even consider till you two got together.
The free weed.
When Eddie had offered you some, one cool summer night in his trailer, you were a bit nervous. You felt bad taking his own weed, knowing how much he smoked and how much he loved doing it. Not to mention how it was his own suply
But he assured you that he didn’t mind, saying how, “I really wanna smoke with you, baby. I think it’d be fun.”
So, you two smoked together, which then led to you two making out on his couch, high as shit. Which then leads to the bedroom…
Since then, Eddie has said how he’d want you to smoke with him, “a bonding experience” he had said.
In reality, he just loved combining his two favorite things, you and weed.
Today was no different, laying on Eddie’s couch, as you started to light the joint.
Eddie had said before how hot you were when you lit one up, and he repeated his sentiment today.
“Jesus babe, you’re as hot as the lighter.”
The joint nearly fell out of your mouth as you laughed at his cheesy line, what a clique.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” you said in return, finally getting the light to the joint, allowing it to catch.
You took a hit, inhaling it into your lungs, holding it, before letting go.
You coughed a bit, giggling as Eddie smirked at you.
After a moment, you took another hit, and Eddie rose a brow. “What about me, sweetness? Don’t I get a taste?”
You nodded before an idea popped into your head.
You smiled, devilishly, before you took another hit.
“Come here then, Eds.”
Eddie gave you a quizzical look, before leaning in.
“What’s up, babe?”
You smiled, “Just keep your mouth open for me baby.”
But you didn’t answer, instead, you took one more hit, but you leaned into Eddie before your lips were nearly touching.
Eddie’s face became red, his eye’s widened. But before he could say anything, you blew the smoke into his mouth, your eye’s staying right on his.
He inhaled, the smoke taking over his lungs. But he could barely pay attention, your eye’s still fixated on his.
His face felt flushed, and his skin felt like it was melting into the couch.
“Breath out, sweetie,” you said slowly, suppressing a giggle.
He did, but he couldn’t help but cough as he did so.
“I- um,” he stuttered lightly, his eye’s looking anywhere but at you.
You smiled, “You ok, Eds?”
“Mhm,” Eddie still tried looking at the tv, but you just chuckled before taking another hit.
“Come on Eddie, I was just kidding around.”
“Yeah…yeah I know,” he said, still blushing.
“Eddie,” you said, tilting his chin up to meet you, “what’s wrong, baby?”
“I…that was really hot,” Eddie said, rushing his words out.
You cocked an eyebrow, “Aww, is that why you’re so flustered?”
Eddie nodded, but his eyes kept darting to your lips.
“Aww, baby…do you want another one?”
He nodded vimently, and you took one more inhale, before slowly blowing it into his mouth. This time, however, your eye’s didn’t leave his lips.
Eddie couldn’t help but let out a small whimper as your hands ran up his chest, “You have to keep breathing sweetie.”
And he did, but you could see his face was redder than before.
He squirmed lightly in his seat.
You raised an eyebrow, “Oh, does this turn you on, Eds? Did my boy get all shy on me.”
Eddie just scoffed, “Whatever Y/N.”
But his face was still flushed and you could see an obvious strain in his pants…
You smirked, an idea forming in your head.
You smiled, leaning into him, “Come here, Eds, lemme give you one more."
Eddie nodded, his ears where now turning pink against his pale skin.
But this time, you straddled his lap, one hand cupping his face, as the other held the joint.
"I- Uhm- Oh Jesus," Eddie let out, a whine forming in the back of his throat.
You took a long drag, before tilting Eddie's chin up, and blowing it into his mouth.
This time, however, you began kissing down his neck, before whispering lightly in his ear, "Eddie, be a good boy and breath out for me."
And he did, like a good boy-
You smiled, "Good job, baby. Now, come here."
Your lips were on his, and god was he starved. His movements were sloppy, his teeth biting your bottom lip a few times just to hear you yelp.
Two can play at that, you thought.
You pulled his hair, causing him to gasp, and you took the chance to slip your tongue in.
“A-ah,” he let out. A breathy moan escaping his lips. And you quickly noticed how hard he was.
Wow, seemed as though that little stunt you pulled really had an effect on him.
You pulled away suddenly, before frowning lightly.
“The joint went out, Eddie.”
“Then I’ll fucking light it again later. Just keep fucking kissing me,” he whinned, “Need you baby. Please. Need you so bad.”
You giggled, but found your mouth on his again.
Like Eddie said, you and weed go together.
#eddie x you#eddie munson#eddie my love#eddie stranger things#stranger things#eddie munson stranger things#eddie x reader#eddie m#eddie munson x you#eddie x y/n#eddie x gender neutral reader#eddie x gn!reader#eddie x fem reader#eddie x me#eddie x fem!reader#eddie x male reader#munson#stranger things x you#stranger things 4
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the people need your verdict: were hemingway and fitzgerald lovers?
do I think they were ever physically lovers? I really have no idea/its improbable that it went on too long if it went on at all and what the extent of it would have been, esp considering how weird fitzgerald was about sex to begin with (read sheilah grahams memoir. which I really do think stems from some sort of abuse, esp when you consider certain pretty telling statements about catholicism/the one intense relationship we know he had with a priest as a young man). both were also so publicly defensive about homosexuality (esp fitzgerald, probably out of necessity of being so outwardly feminine, although you see a real complex view/fixation on it in his actual writing) that it would be unlikely real evidence of this would survive whether it happened or not. zelda certainly seemed to think they had an inappropriate relationship in her eyes, but it’s hard to quantify exactly what that means esp when you combine it with the deterioration of her mental state.
the two of them immensely disliked each other, of which there could be multiple explanations for and might simply come down to hemingways misogyny and cold hearted clinging away from “feminine” showing of emotion or what he said it was, the belief fitzgerald was wasting his talent by remaining married to her/trying to get her help/remaining in their whirlwind of a relationship, but tended to look like this 👇 and was frequently very nasty
in terms of their emotional relationship I certainly think it was intense and scott seemed to value hemingway far more than he valued him (the constant references to him in something like the crack up, the tales of showing up to his house drunk in the middle of the night, the talking about him incessantly to mutual friends etc) but that being said hemingway also seemed to be fixated on scott in some sort of one-sided battle, like he was constantly trying to prove himself the better/not “like” scott ie not as feminine and, in his eyes, pathetic as scott. it seems like there was obviously something within scott that scared hemingway to death. this fixation even carries over to his writing (see: the snows of kilimanjaro, im which fitzgerald is essentially made the poster child for the weak man, a man who may as well already be dead, letting women rule his life, published shortly after fitzgerald released the crack up essays and the ensuing fall out/one of my favorite letters from fitzgerald to hemingway). the fact that fitzgerald seemed to genuinely admire women seemed to be a real sore spot between the two, especially where it concerned zelda. either way, in between their disagreements and the eventual dissolution of their relationship, there were obvious signs of real closeness in their letters
and there seems to be real deliberation in the way hemingway writes about fitzgerald in a moveable feast. like he wants to cause harm, but then also keeps pulling back, (there are a few great essays I’ve read that go into what hemingway left in vs took out of a movable feast regarding fitzgerald, I have a few posts on here that reference them) also don’t get me started on the weird probably false and just meant to make fitzgerald look bad, but nevertheless strangely homoerotic scene he writes into the book about fitzgerald showing him his dick. (It’s a whole thing, also fits right into the theme of hemingway’s need to reassure his own masculinity by using fitzgerald as a scapegoat for his own insecurities).
long story short, I think the two both had some complicated feelings for eachother, a lot things related to fitzgerald are particularly sad/telling
I would say that fitzgerald was in love with hemingway but I’m not sure he knew exactly how to process those feelings/would even admit that to himself so it’s hard to actually fully say that was the case. how hemingway felt is even harder to pin down because he was even less likely to admit something like this to himself. its clear that he almost viewed fitzgerald as a woman and simultaneously treated him in the same derogatory style he tended to reserve for women, and seemed to be interchangeably disgusted by him and as equally fixated on him and with as much admiration as fitzgerald had for him (see: his description of fitzgerald in a movable feast I think all of this comes across even in that concise paragraph). so um what am I trying to get at here.
yeah kind of.
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hey! i’m an INFP bisexual transman here for a matchup:) i can be kind of awkward at first, but after a bit i love opening up and talking about my special interests and getting to know people; talking about music and media, showing them my art or writings, and just sharing a space. i like to make people laugh and am down to hit the club or just chill with a comfortable night in. i have my own share of trauma and anxieties that im trying to work through. i’d say i have a grunge aesthetic but im also definitely a nerd, too. just a dude who’s vibin’ and trying to get by. thanks for doing these matchups, they’re so fun!
Matchup
I pair you with…
~ I’m glad you like these matchups!! They’re feeding my hyperfixation and I reallyyy missed writing!! Anyway!
~ Okay, I can see you and Ozzie being so compatible.
~ Firstly, he really appreciates art. The best person to be a proofreader, or see a finished art piece. He’s not only so appreciative, he’ll give specifics on what he likes. “This was super successful here,” is a common phrase he’ll use before going on to elaborate. Anyway, he doesn’t just say he likes something, he says what he likes and why in great detail.
~ Ozzie helps you navigate your traumas and anxieties healthily. He really puts work into understanding this part of you, removing all triggers as best he can, and he’s super open to listening to you vent.
~ You understand his energy. You’re seen going to clubs and public outings with him, while also domestic enough to appreciate simple dates at home, like making a nice dinner and starting a new tv series. Ozzie just digs that you’re able to understand both sides of him; his party side, and his domestic side.
~ This all makes me think you guys would make a great friends to lovers trope. You understand Ozzie, and he shows that he understands you.
I pair you with…
~ I’m not sure why. But you know that one trope where’s there’s a dude whose special interest is their partner?? Cherri Bomb to you. I won’t elaborate on this, because I don’t know how, but I’m confident in this trope here. I’m not sure how but I am.
~ I feel like Cherri’s one of those people to be really into like having art in her apartment. You make anything? It’s on her fridge or wall. She loves everything you make.
~ Loves hearing about your special interests, and will get into them too so she understands you better. You mention a fandom? She’s googling ships while you talk. “Ohhh these ones look hot, who are these two?”
~ I feel like while she’s definitely a partier, I’ve said this before, she loves being all domestic and winding down at the end of the night. Cuddle pile with a blanket and pillow nest!!
~ Loves taking you out so she can show you off.
~ Definitely someone who appreciates music and media. Keeps up to date with popular things and her own niches. Cherri would love not only hearing you talk about your interests, but bring her own into play and be just super excited to talk about music. She’s someone who loves not only music and media, but appreciates the artists behind it, I bet she’s the type to have notifications set for news outlets that regularly cover updates on her favourites.
I pair you with…
~ Introvert adopted by extrovert trope!!
~ Vortex loves awkward. Will listen to you talk about your hyper fixations and be genuinely invested. Will also hit you with questions to elaborate so he can really get an idea of what you’re putting out. Pleasantly surprised when you begin to open up.
~ Will take you to parties, outings with friends, etc. He’s more a casual boyfriend, less sweep you off your feet and more peaceful coexistence. Love language is definitely quality time.
~ Regarding traumas and anxieties, Vortex is the best person to help you practically forget about them. If he notices you’re having a bad day and need a pick me up, he effortlessly cheers you up so well it’s hard to even realize he’s doing it. Distracts you with all of your favourite things, drinks, snacks, movies or shows, you name it.
~ Vortex lets you choose when you’re ready to vent or need to share, but until then, he effortlessly ensures that you’re always happy. Despite his casual demeanour, he’s always someone who just takes to people really well, especially you.
Alternate pairing…
Charlie
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#fandom#hazbin cherri bomb#hazbin hotel cherri bomb#helluva asmodeus#helluva boss asmodeus#hb asmodeus#helluva boss vortex#Hb vortex#helluva vortex#matchup#helluva boss matchup
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20 Questions for Fic Writers!
Was tagged by; glitterfairy-21225
I'm still very early in my writing journey (first fic was only posted in July) but i will answer to the best of my ability c:
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
25 though 3 of those are podfics
2. What is your total AO3 word count?
35,342
3. What fandoms do you write for?
So far all HP!
4. Top 5 fics by kudos?
Raspberry Muffin - 84
at least we're trying - 83
Anyone But You - 76
Essays & Crystals - 50
A Shell for a Mate and Storytime Naps are tied - 49
5. Do you respond to comments?
most of the time! im bad at like double responding like if i respond and then you do again i panic and don't say anything back unless there's a question. Or when its just someone saying they want more of something i don't really know how to respond to that so i just don't fhjkasdf
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
so far i haven't really written a lot of angsty stuff thats made it to actually being posted i think the closest thing i can offer is Deceased.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
A Shell for a Mate maybe? or maybe Camera Cutie honestly those two are really the only ones that feel like true stories to me vs just like a small moment in time and they both end happy or at positively
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not yet! I assume I will eventually.
9. Do you write smut?
I'm trying to learn how. I'm not very confident in it yet though. It's very difficult.
10. Do you write crossovers?
maybe eventually but its not very likely since I don't really read them much either
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not yet!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
not yet sounds interesting though!
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
At the moment probably Flintley for over all but I tend to jump through alot of Percy ships in my head on like a week to week basis currently I'm very fixated on Stan Shunpike/Percy as well ajxjsnz
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?
c: I have alot of fics that I start writing and never touch again I think probably that one flintely scene I wrote that I don't know what to do with its the only like longer one of the group but It was before I got sick and now I just don't remember what I was doing with it
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have been told I'm creative and come up with interesting ideas
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Probable like prose? if I'm understanding what that means but like I feel like my writing is still very bland?
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?
I barely even like writing out accents I would rather not
19. First fandom you wrote for?
HP!
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
I dont know if its just my brain loving Stan/Percy right now but Hot Chocolate has a special place in my heart at the moment
tags: @ulouism @astridastrolabe
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i apologize for the text wall you are about to recieve i'm facing my fears of being an annoyance in the inbox
hey what do i do when i have several fixations happening all at once
my madcom keeps coming into the house because its cold but then goes back out because yay snow
the funkin won't leave the pantry because i keep coming back to the Tall Modded Men
deltarune deltarune deltarune deltarune
undertale is returning with a baseball bat because it refuses to be left behind in my elementary days (i promise you my AU content won't be based on fanon i've been tracking little details in the game i'm not cring pleas e don't sentence me to the swamp of sin)
im not sure if i'm going back to my fnaf phase i'm just very fond of the sundrop models i find on VRChat
MINECRAFT!!1!1!1!!!
and it doesn't help that i want (personally i have to i live off making silly little worlds with different stories and flavors) to make AU content the neurodivergent courses through my veins it will never end
this is a really good question that I don't see a lot of people asking so it's hard to find good advice for this
best advice I can give as a neurospicy individual is to not fight your attention span when it comes to hobbies. with school and work you don't have much of a choice but remember there are no deadlines or consequences in fandom
like I feel kinda bad for not having updated my two big fics in 2-3 months but y'know the juice just isn't there. I like quality and if I'm not interested it won't be quality. I try to keep my blog madcom focused because that's what people followed me for but trust me right now I'm all about my gta dude, sonic, batfam, mw2, and others I can't remember on top of madness combat
I can't give advice for artblock because I don't draw unless I absolutely want to, but for writing at least I find that outlining costs way less mental energy so even if I'm not putting together a new fic/chapter, I can still plan to with relative ease
but yeah neurodivergence doesn't always mean there's something wrong, sometimes it just means your brain works different and I don't think it's productive to try and force it to work another way. do what sparks joy. if your ideas are cringe, kill the cop in your brain because the entire premise of madcom would sound cringe if a 12 year old described it as their superhero backstory. what makes or breaks a story is the presentation of it, not the idea itself
also feel free to combine things you're fixating on. I was on a horror kick, decided to incorporate it with fandom (have not finished it because oh my god horror is so hard to write)
having people to bounce ideas off of is really helpful too because it can help you focus more on that one thing, as I'm sure you saw with the AU I'm working on right now. feel free to yell about stuff in my inbox if you'd like, don't know all those fandoms but I'm happy to listen
music also helps with focus, find a song that fits the vibe of what you want out of your work and set it to repeat. normal behavior I know but it worked for me
ultimately, don't stress. the mojo comes and goes, it's more cooperative if you are. fandom isn't a job or any sort of obligation and you can write, draw, headcanon whatever you want. sometimes multitasking is helpful because you can step back from something and then come back refreshed after working on another thing
hope this makes sense because it feels all over the place but yeah that's basically what I've learned to do
#don't obligate yourself and don't let others obligate you#fandom is for funsies. no other reasons unless you want there to be#asks#writing advice
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Hello! Just interesting what your least favorite premade/family is? If you don't want to answer it, that's okey!😣
don't worry, it's a good question, bec here i can answer who is for me unfavorite family and premade
most likely, i will be pelted with knives, stones and bicycles... but my unloved family is Smith.
To put it briefly: I just don't like family men to goosebumps and the sons of mother's friends
next i will try to base so that there will be a lot of letters
i have no pretensions to Jill, bec she is still a child and i can make whatever i want out of her, but I have a problem with the others …
let's start with the fact that i don't like sims who don't need anything from life except family or they need a vital "replenishment in the house" and there are TWO of them
in Jenny, you can still trace the desire for career growth, but she is so sluggish as for me. in my game, she wanted to give birth and love with PT9 more. i tried to change her aspiration and it's still the same. maybe game just buggy
PT9 is just a missed potential for me. if Maxis had given the aliens something other than genetic differences, then maybe it would have been more interesting for me to play for him. as an option, it would be possible to add to him a conflict with Chloe and Lola based on his absence from their lives, even after the departure of Glarn from the family. PSP also does not smooth the corners, because psp is more suitable for a bad ending of ST than for the future of hood, but even there PT9 are fixated on family as for me, and I have already said my attitude to such sims
now the most delicious thing is that Johnny. he just boring and does not represent anything interesting for me, he does not have any special flaws or ideas, he is literally like Marty-Stu for me. "Johnny is so cool and slay unlike this cocky and stuffy Tank.".i can't even find another personality for him, bec as soon as we enter the family, we are told to grow up, which means we are already given a well-established personality, and this greatly breaks the effect that i myself influenced the formation of this person and when he grows up, i do not ironically don't know what to do with him.. he's just a good guy and that's it.. dude from a prosperous family, with friends and without injuries??? BRO, get the f out here, happy pussy
i like seeing Johnny in the psp, but I refuse to accept the psp as a direct continuation
im not trying to say that you need to add drama to every member of the family, by no means, on the contrary, im against a bunch of dramas, but when everything is too sugary sweet, it's also a minus. it is not necessary to make families 70% positive and 20% negative. (the only negative in the family is the enmity with Grunts. but i don't feel that this enmity is taken seriously by family members)
just need a balance or negativity at least by 40%
but this is my perception features
Bonus joke theory
PT9 actually hypnotized Jenny and brainwashed her so that she would help him in increasing his kind and thereby capturing ST and Grunt is trying to stop him, but he manipulates everything so skillfully that no one believes in the nonsense of the "crazy general
#wow why can i reasonably prescribe things that i dont like but not things that I like. i dont understand how my brain works#ishps#also if you like this family then it's cool#but it's just not for me#strangetown
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i demand to know more of your oc's (also im trying to catch up on your space au fic its been so long since i last read it)
OH MY GOD IT DIDNT GET EATEN BY TUMBLR
Anon™️ I’m using your ask as like a sticky note of oc ideas specifically Tundra dude there’s SO much I’m so sorry I got into the hyper focus zone
Tundra’s name is actually Alejandra Citlali Osorio-Cruz and through the series she’s just about to turn 16 in season 1 and roughly 19-20 by Season 5 (give or take how the fuck you think time works in 2012 bc I think it takes place over 3-4 years season 5 included)
Tundra came about as a nickname when she was a kid and got super hyper-fixated on professional wrestling and like. She made an entire persona and lore. Alec started using her wrestling name as a silly nickname and it stuck.
Yes I did come up with a stupid cute reason behind the name Tundra bc I can not handle the fact I chose such a BAD oc name for a LION but like I can’t change it NOW!! I MADE HER IN LIKE 2015 SHES TOO OLD TO CHANGE IT
Xever did just think for the longest time Tundra WAS her name. He also just assumed that Alec and Chris adopted a child for fun.
Her bio parents Ixchel and Alejandro were really good friends of Alec and Chris for like. Well over a decade. Ixchel and Alec especially. Ixchel was an actress (like I would say their worlds equivalent of Selma Hayek) and Alejandro worked in music production.
They didn’t have a ton of family they kept in contact with, so Alec and Chris were named Alejandra’s legal guardians if anything happened to them. They sadly died in a plane crash when Tundra was around 1.
This feels like SOOOO edgy and silly to me now but like I literally can’t see Alec and Chris adopting a kid any other way than the guilt of losing their friends pushing them to do it. WHICH SOUNDS BAD. AND LIKE IT IS. However they still love and raise Alejandra as their own, if anything Chris is like. Somewhat distant bc he still has his career but Alec’s like “fuck yeah I get to raise a kid again” and kinda slips from the spotlight. Which is fine by them , they’re like 600 years old they can just have messy fun in the public eye another time
Tundra goes fucking THROUGH IT emotionally through the series. Like goes from would do anything for Chris and Alec (especially Chris who. Again. Was distant and she desperately wanted his approval) to the point where like. She’s yknow. Mutated, to growing resentful of them when Hachi enters the picture (especially when she has to take care of him) to like. Low key betraying the foot and joining the mutanimals in season 3. And then having to deal w Chris being resurrected temporarily in season 5 after a really chill and happy 2 years with her mom and little brother like it’s a LOT.
In season 1 she’s very much a “mean girl” stereotype and slowly evolves into Cool And Gay (but still a little better than you)(she. She gets that from her upbringing.)
Tundra and Karai are seen as like a duo/bffs up until season 2 after the whole “I’m not shredders daughter” thing happens. They grow distant (obviously) until season 4.
So like Alec and Chris are NOT the best parents and like. They did totally just let Tundra take Hachi to live w her and the Mutanimals in season 4. She’d already been in space w him for 6 months and the poor kid really didn’t want to go live in the woods. I have such a specific scene in mind for this and I want to write it out so bad. Anyway tundra basically becomes a teen mom for a little bit. Eldest daughters am I right? *plays class of 2013 by mitski*
Tundra has a modified mini van which she does haul all of her friends who can fit in. Apologies to leatherhead and slash . No she doesn’t have a license
She also has a bike. These two vehicles she did canonically find on the side of the highway and she convinced Donnie and Casey to help her fix them
Tundras in a punk (? Maybe more Pop punk ) band called The Muties (my other characters Jack and Spinstra are in it. also Mondo. Sometimes Raph fills in on drums if Spinstra can’t make it). Tundra and Jack switch off on vocals, she’s usually on bass. They started up in the down time between seasons 4 and 5. They play in Moira’s Menagerie (a mutants only bar and hall) every week on Fridays. Alec comes to nearly all of their shows and also they bring Hachi sometimes when they practice and he’ll play his DS.
Alec will also force their friends (I.e. Apep, Anton, Ivan and Xever) to come watch Tundra w the promise of drinks and she thinks it’s embarrassing every fucking time bc they’re SO LOUD and OBVIOUS and god she could just DIE (but also. Having the support makes her happy)
Alec WILL slam back 3 tequila shots and go on about how talented their daughter is.
Chris got to see her play once. And it was when he was resurrected. And Tundra, frankly, was not thrilled. Another one I wanna write
#thanks for reading all that I love Alejandra and she deserves the world#oc tag#I’m a little embarrassed by how much I wrote but I’ve been in a big tundra mood lately
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