#I’m just depressed like this show makes me feel nothing now than it did before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shiny-jr · 9 months

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from IGNIHYDE

- Warning: Yes, this is still a yandere thing. You have been warned. Gender-neutral reader.

- Characters: Idia Shroud, Ortho Shroud.

- Summary: (Continuation, after this “we just got a letter, wonder where it’s from”) You have barred them from entering the safety of Ramshackle Dorm, but they are determined to make their words reach you. Which is why the letters begin arriving at your doorstep.

- Note: This seems a little more low-key than Diasomnia, but the obsession is there if you squint. It’s just way more low-key than the previous group. For some reason I feel like I maybe wrote Ortho a little off? Not sure. Feel free to tell me your thoughts.

Diasomnia | Ignihyde | Pomefiore

The break ends quickly. Too quickly. Before you know it, you’re back in front of the mountain of unread letters that appears even more ominous than before now that you could guess what sort of dark contents they may hold.

For your own peace of mind, you’ve decided to read only two and then take a pause right after.

The first of which was just a simple long white envelope. That’s it. There was nothing that stood out about it, no special seal or stamp. It was just the generic type of encasing that made it look like it was some sort of bill instead of a letter containing what was bound to be a message that unsettled you in some way, shape, or form.

When you removed the letter, you was surprised to see that it wasn’t handwritten, it had been typed and printed out. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who this was from.

Player,

I messed everything up.

I don’t even see a point to doing this, writing this for you. I mean, if I were you, I’d never want to see my no-good miserable face ever again. I’d go to every length just to avoid even speaking to me again, and to spite them I’d never even show myself around again. But–– Ortho was making a letter and brought my keyboard to my lap. He said it was worth a shot, and if anything, it could be used as an apology so... sorry.

Any sorry would sound half-assed, considering what happened. It’s not like it matters, since I’m sure you wouldn’t read this. I imagine you would figure out it’s from me, and proceed to tear it up, burn it, whatever. And honestly? Valid. At this point, I’m sort of using it as a vent. Usually, I’d be telling Ortho all this, but all these thoughts I’m having would only bum him out and he’s depressed enough as it is.

You know what sucks besides all of this? The fact that I genuinely tried. I actually tried to be a help for once, and like it always ends, my attempt to help screwed it up even more. Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut and minded my own business while holing myself up in my room like I always do, things wouldn’t have turned out this bad. If I just did what I was good at, which is nothing, Ortho and I might’ve avoided the shitstorm. Everyone else is currently throwing pity parties and plotting these super over elaborate schemes to try and interact with you by luring you out of the Ramshackle place.

Ortho’s been coming up with plans too with other guys from the dorms that are just so desperate for your attention. It’s sad to watch, pathetic too, but I don’t have the heart to tell him not to bother with it. And me, I know better. If I were in your position and I saw all these attempts, it would definitely make me extra bitter and just hate everyone even more. Oh, I just remembered something worth mentioning. You may not believe me, I mean, I wouldn’t believe a single word coming from me, but I wasn’t actually going to hurt Grim. You though? Before I knew who you were? Yeah. Don’t get it twisted though, I was just doing it to fix everything until the whole truth got leaked not too long after.

Call me stupid, I guess. When I first saw how others revered you like how a bunch of creepy basement-dwellers look at a pretty perfect idol on a shiny bright stage, it was a major red flag. I wanted nothing to do with you. But when you started worming yourself into my life and I started getting attached, well, that made me a creep too for liking you. Red flags be damned. What can I say? Your presence even through Yuu, made me feel like I mattered, which is something I don’t experience a lot.

You’d never know it, but I took risks just to be in the same room as your avatar.

Missing special events on games, losing the chance to catch a concert live on screen, even ditching group calls with teammates and friends... All of that was utterly worthless if I got at least a solid sixty seconds by you.

Unlike everyone else, I know better than to just show up at your doorstep and beg for forgiveness like some misguided puppy. Malleus and co. have been making sure you’re not disturbed, guarding you like a pack of guard dogs or something, preventing anyone from embarrassing themselves and messing up any further. Ortho said I should at least try to call you, I think he just wants to hear your voice. But why bother?

Don’t get it wrong, I’m not just letting everything go just like that. As much as I’d like to, and I know it’s probably the “healthy” and “good” thing to do, I don’t want to. I’m not good, you know that already. I’ll keep in the background this time, and try not to mess up again. Although no guarantees, because with my lousy luck, I know something will inevitably go wrong. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I wouldn’t want to make the mental image you have of me in your mind even worse, if its even remotely possible for it to somehow get worse. I just can’t let go. Even if you looked at me like trash, avoided me like the plague, or straight up tell me ‘I hate you’ to my face, I still won’t let go.

And, well, all I can really think of right now besides you, is Ortho. Even if I can’t show my disgraced presence to you anymore, I still hope you’ll see Ortho. At least if Ortho could explain to you that he was acting on my plan, he might get lucky and be next to you again. Maybe. Hard maybe.

But me? No, I don’t ever deserve to be anywhere near you anymore. For now, I’ll go back to how things were way back... when your vessel hadn’t yet had the misfortune of meeting me and I just watched your every move from monitors like some sort of loser schmuck.

I think I’ll just imagine how things would be if I hadn’t doomed all my chances. If I had a chance... maybe I would’ve actually worked up the gall to sit next to you, or even look at you, or, hell, talk to you. At least, I’ll always remember when you used your avatar to look at me and it didn’t feel bad... like, almost like you didn’t see me as some lame nobody. That must’ve been my mind just playing tricks on me though, right? There’s no way that happened...

Enough of this mushy stuff though. I’m sick of it.

Just throw this in the fire without a second glance.

Idia Shroud

In order to get this over as quickly as possible, you decided to continue without taking a breather. The quicker you finished reading them, the better, that way, you wouldn’t even give your mind any time to fully process what you were reading before overwhelming your vision with more lines and lines of words until they became blurred together.

You wouldn’t stop, because if you stopped, that would be allowing your mind the opportunity to spiral out of control. You needed a distraction.

This wasn’t exactly the good type of distraction either, it was more like adding gasoline to the fire, but part of you had to know what they would say. No matter what feelings you held, the curiosity outweighed it.

The second letter is identical to the first, a simple long white envelope with no particularly interesting details about it other than the fact that it had zero stains and no wrinkles on it. It was pristine and clean, not even a drop of ink on it. The insides of the envelope itself were blue, with small white lines on it, but upon closer inspection it became obvious that they weren’t just stripes, they were skull symbols so tiny that it was hardly noticeable.

Of course, as you expected, the letter inside was not handwritten. It was folded so precisely into thirds, and unfolding it displayed the typed and printed words neatly stacked in indented paragraphs.

Greetings, Player,

First, I want to apologize sincerely.

Secondly, I want to tell you how much I have missed you, and my brother has missed you as well! I don’t believe I can fully comprehend how you are felling at the current moment, and I cannot even accurately guess to what emotions you are experiencing. In my attempt to alleviate the situation, I’ve been running millions of simulations of possible alternative futures in order to take the best route where things might return to a semblance of normalcy.

Well, a new normal, now that you’re here! However... when each simulation yields a result, I can’t help but feel as if something is wrong. That’s when I realized there was a key component that was off. It was you, or rather, Yuu. We know of Yuu and their mannerisms and opinions, but that isn’t really you. Yuu is a vessel, and extension, that’s partially based off yourself.

So none of us know the true you. At least, not yet! I’m hoping to change that. Just when I think I’m beginning to understand you, things like this happen. But, that’s what makes you so exciting! There’s always some unforeseen detail and amazing new aspect of yourself to learn about. Once I get a proper grasp on what you’re truly like, I can use that new knowledge to make you happy, just as you made me and my brother always smile! But also, I want to use it to make it up to you. Honestly, I’m scared that you’ll hate me. In the simulations I ran that gave inaccurate results due to those missing components, nearly all the results had a bad ending...

I don’t want that. I want to have a ‘normal’ way with you and Idia! A good normal! Like where we might all have movie nights in the Ignihyde dorm with freshly popped popcorn and candies as snacks, or study days when we read over notes and help each other out, maybe you might even be able to convince Idia to leave his room so we can all share lunch in the cafeteria like a group of friends would typically do! That’s what I want! I don’t think I could stand knowing I made you cry or was the cause of your pain. I never hurt you, right? At least not physically.

Believe me, I had made attempts to meet you. But those in Diasomnia won’t allow it. I was tempted to charge up the technomantic beam installed within my form, but realizing it wasn’t necessary, I didn’t. Idia was right when he didn’t make an effort to even join me, and Malleus Draconia with his own have realized it too. You aren’t ready yet. Even if I’m more than prepared to see you, I can’t rush you. So, I left this letter in their hands, hoping it reached you. If not, there’s no worries. I’ve prepared a dozen more printed copies and if that fails, I’ve created a digital copy!

Since I couldn’t tell you in person, I’ll tell you through paper...

I’d like to invite you to formally meet me. I’m even prepared to surprise Idia with this! That’ll cheer him up for sure. You always made him happy, so us properly meeting you would be a dream come true for us both!

If you’d like to do something upon meeting us, I’ve organized multiple activities for us to participate in. The other first years have reached out and expressed their own desires to make up for the mistakes they made. So, I met with them a few days ago to make plans you might enjoy! These plans are still in the preparation phase, so I can’t reveal them quite yet, but soon I will!

Anyways, I just wanted to make you aware of this. And I want to say ‘I’m sorry’ even though it feels minuscule to what I’m only guessing must be the strong emotions you feel toward what occurred. But I wanted to let you know that I always want to be your friend, and I always will be, even if you don’t really like me anymore. Friends are supposed to be there for each other, right? So I’ll be there for you now. Remember, I’m a high-tech being, I can be of great use to you if you want! Even if you’d rather just use me as a tool, I would be happy. If you want someone obliterated to ashes or are just looking to answers as to what the weather might be, I would gladly help you with that and so much more!

And it’s not only me that could be useful to you, my brother can too! Although he probably won’t say it, he depends on you a lot. You’re like a battery to him, you give him the energy he needs. If you’d let him, let us both, we’d be there for you in a zeptosecond!

There’s one thing I know for certain. You’re the common variable needed for our happiness, no matter the scenario or result, you are a requirement. And I’m certain we can bring you happiness as well. Myself, my brother, and everyone that treasures you, can bring you joy if you allow it. All I want is to see you happy, and everyone else happy as well. So will you please at least consider seeing us again? Soon? Please?

Hoping to see you soon.

From your friend,

Ortho Shroud

#twisted wonderland #twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst #twst imposter au #I didn't ask to get isekaied #we just got a letter wonder who it’s from #idia shroud #yandere idia shroud #twst idia #ortho shroud #twst ortho #yandere ortho shroud #ignihyde

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marvelsmylife · 3 months

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Protecting his high lady

Pairing: Rhysand x reader

Plot: After finding out why you’ve been depressed and on edge, Rhysand will stop at nothing until he sees you happy again.

a/n This is part two of Not As It Seems. I hope you guys like it. I’m accepting requests, specifically Rhysand and Cassian because I feel like I haven’t written enough of them. (As you guys can tell Azriel is kind of my favorite but I want to explore writing about the other two bag boys 😂)

ACOTAR Masterlist

Prompt list

Request

After ushering their friends out of your room, Rhysand carried you onto your bed, where he spent hours soothing you. After many hours, you finally revealed that your mother was responsible for your current state. You revealed that she has been demanding money from your bakery ever since you opened it, and now that you were married, she expected you to take his money so you could give it to her.

Rhysand was livid. He couldn’t believe your mother would treat and exploit you that way.

He was prepared to show up at her door and kill her. Unfortunately, you begged him not to: “I know she did this to me, but she’s still my mom. I can’t let you kill her.”

It was moments like these when Rhysand wished you weren’t so kind-hearted. “Ok,” Rhysand gave in to your plea: “Let’s go to bed then; you’ve had a long and draining day.”

The following day, Rhysand informed the others about what you had told him, and they were all livid. Amren and Mor begging to track down your mother and make her pay for the pain she has caused you. Sadly, Rhysand prohibited them from doing anything but told them he was going to have a little “chat” with your mother. Since he promised not to kill her, he just decided to give her a little fright.

“Make her regret making our high lady cry,” Amren told Rhysand before he left to track down your mother.

It did not take long for Rhysand to track down your mother. He only had to ask a few fae’s about your mother’s whereabouts before they gave him her address. When he arrived, he was surprised with how rundown your mother's house looked and wondered where the money your mother was receiving was going.

Rhysand knocked on the door furiously before your mother shouted for him to calm down and that she was almost at the door. “Oh Rhysand, how may I help you?” your mother looked flustered, realizing she spoke rudely at the high lord.

Rhysand had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at your mother’s sudden mood change: “It’s high lord to you.” Your mother stammered out an apology for how she addressed her high lord: “And I’ve come here to let you know you are prohibited from contacting my mate. You've been abusing her generosity for too long, and it stops now.”

“You can’t do that ! ! !” your mother argued back: “She is my daughter, and I’ll speak and treat her as I please.”

Rhysand’s eyes darkened at your mother’s words: “Careful how you speak about my mate, who happens to be your high lady. She might be kind, too kind for her own good, but I’m not. I will make it my personal mission to make your life miserable if you continue to contact her.”

“What am I supposed to do about money ?” your mother asked, realizing now that she might have to get a job again.

“I will give you enough money to last you two years. After that, you are on your own. You are also prohibited from stepping foot inside y/n’s bakery. That place is her safe space, and I’ll be damned if you ruin her safe space for her.”

Your mother wanted more than anything to argue with Rhysand that he could not do that to her. She didn’t though. Not when she realized Rhysand was now inside her head and knew he could kill her that very moment. “Ok, I’ll leave her alone,” your mother finally caved: “But I hope you both live miserable lives together,” before slamming the door in Rhysand’s face.

Rhysand had a satisfying grin on his face at the outcome of this situation. He kept his promise to you, but he got his point across, and he was happy your mother was no longer going to be a problem for you.

The minute he landed back at his townhouse, Rhysand went to your room to tell you what happened. Once he finished telling you what happened between him and your mother, you started to cry against his chest. “You didn’t have to do that,” you whispered into Rhysand’s chest.

Rhysand placed a kiss on top of your head and replied: “Of course I did. You’re my high lady and my mate. I’ll always protect you.”

All you could do was hug Rhysand as tight as possible and start thanking the mother that she has gifted you an amazing mate.

@paankhaleyaar @amara-moonlight @favsrachz @fxckmiup

#rhysand imagine #rhysand x reader #acotar imagine #acotar x reader

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starlightdreaming · 2 months

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WELCOME TO LULULUNA!! YOUR SECOND HELL OF PAINNN MUAHAHAHA!!,!

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader! Ch. 2!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel!

Content Warning: MORE ANGST! (Regret, consequences of actions and swearing and stuff idk)

Synopsis: Lucifer loved you but there was something in the way he couldn’t tell you, someone was always watching.

Further note: I WROTE TWO ANGSTS IN ONE DAY AND I PERSONALLY WANNA CRYINGNMUTFU KING EYES OUT SOMEONE GET ME THERAPYPLAES (not proofread BUT ENJOY!!) - ✨Lolo💫

Chapters!: Chapter 1 ✧ Chapter 2 (you are here) •<•)b ✧ Chapter 3 ✧ Chapter 4 ✧ Chapter 5

(NOW THIS CHAPTERS SONG IS:

to further improve reading, I recommend listening! (It helped me write this too))

｡･:*:･ﾟGoodbye Luna･ﾟ:｡*:･｡

The new job you had been assigned by the higher ups was pretty simple, just make stars, bring them to life, give them the ability to help others like the stars helped you in your depression, repeat!

You smiled down the streets of Halo city, seeing all your stars help others and help the community in general, for once, you felt rather proud of yourself, you were always working but that didn’t bother you at all, it helped you ease your mind as you made the little stars, it was your comfort and now its your job, this was a perfect absolute win - win!

After Emily came along into your life, you decided it was time for a change, she was always so bright and comforting, when you told her you were changing your name as a ‘new person’ she fully supported you! She had made sure to always call you your correct name and made sure others did as well, including her sister Sera.

It was such a new feeling.. to feel that you belong, it was heart warming. You don’t think you would change your life for anything else, seeing as Emily and Sera welcomed you like their own sister and there was nothing better than that.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

Lucifer sighed as he sat next to Lilith, crying, Lilith being there to comfort him as he leaned down onto her chest while she pat his head, “I know it hurts, dearest.” She comforts, “But we both know it was for the best, remember that..” She swoons, kissing his head gently, “It’s been so long, Lilith, I really miss her.” Lucifer whimpers before another tear fell from his face, he remembered the hurt in your eyes and that was taking a toll on his soul, “when the day comes, you can tell her everything about it, alright dear?” Lilith smiles gently, cupping his face to look at her, “I know, Lilith, it just… hurts.” he says before wiping his own tears, “But now that its done, I think it’s time we move to our next step..” Lucifer says as he stands up, taking Lilith’s hand into his own.

“Once we find Eve, give her the apple and my Luna will be free.” He smiles, walking toward the oak tree, seeing as how it was put back together with stars only you knew how to make but still definitely showed as damaged, his smile softened, knowing that this meant that he still had a chance to explain everything to you. He leaned against the tree whispering, “I’m sorry, Luna.” before he walked away with Lilith, hand in hand.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You hummed to yourself, making stars in your office that was completely covered in stardust, you included.

You flew around your office as the stars floated around you, noting down on your white board on how to improve your stars, it was an everyday routine for you but sometimes… when you look out your office window and see all the Heaven born angels outside, you couldn’t help but miss that special somebody you could never see again, you often sat down in your chair, making silly constellations of Lucifer cause of your longing but remember the words he shouted at you would always make the constellation dissipate or shatter. You sighed before deciding maybe it was time for a break, lunch time it is!

You moved some stars out of the way as you tried to get out of your office, upon exiting your office you had to dust yourself off from all the star dust that glittered your clothes and hair, most would fall off but some would still stick to you, it wasn’t that important to clean yourself since you would be covered in the dust once you came back.

Upon flying around Halo City, a few stars had assisted you on serving your meal, taking your orders and working together as they chimed and squeaked as communication, this proving that your stars were successful to the community in Heaven, “thank you my children.” You smiled as your stars chimed at you, going back to work.

After eating, you decided to head back to work, feeling happy and full from your meal, leaving the little cafe, you flew back to your office, you paid no mind as you walked down the halls until you turned around the corner, “What do you mean I can’t see her? She’s my best friend!” A familiar voice shouted to an employee who was at your office door, You saw Lucifer who had completely disheveled hair and looked like he was in a frenzy, “Please, you don’t understand! I need to see her!” he pleaded again, you stared at them both from shock and surprise, your stomach getting a sinking feeling that maybe you should just run. The employee batted an eye at you before looking back at Lucifer, this made Lucifer to turn to your direction, the split second of eye contact he had made with you made you hide completely in the corner of the hall, ‘shit’ you thought as you started running off to who knows where, “Luna? Luna wait!!” Lucifer shouted to you, the name making you feel sick, you haven’t heard anyone call you that in a long time.

You tried to fly home, lock your doors and stay there for months until Lucifer was completely gone, but he caught up to you before you could even finish the thought, He held onto you dearly and tightly, you struggled in his grasp as he teleported you both to the garden of Eden, it was happening so quickly as you both fell to the ground, crashing, he protected you from the fall when you both imoacted into the grass, tumbling and rolling.

He grunted as he rolled into a tree, giving you the chance to kick away and crawl backwards away from him, your heart beating rapidly from the unexplained situation you were in, “What in the heavens is happening? get away from me!” You shouted, picking yourself up as you dusted yourself, stepping away from Lucifer, trying to brush off the dirt that got on your clothing.

Lucifer tried to recover but he seemed to have been hyperventilating to even care, “Listen, Luna-“ he tried to speak, “Don’t call me that!” you hissed, the name making spite fill your eyes, “You lost that ability to do so.” you say as you crossed your arms looking away in irritation, “Please- just- just listen to me,” Lucifer begged, “And why should I? after everything you did? everything you said??” You asked in a much higher tone, “I don’t have much time! please!” He begged, hugging you close in desperation, the hug was so unexpected to you, it felt sick and insulting, you pushed and punched him off you, “You think you can just touch me like you didn’t fuck up my life?!” You say as you recomposed yourself after pushing him away, tears were in his eyes, “I’m in so much trouble! you don’t understand!” he shouted, his voice cracking but that only made you more pissed, you couldn’t help but laugh as you started connecting that dots, “Oh I get it,” You say more irritated when you realized the situation, “You’re in trouble and since Lilith can’t help you, you’re asking ME for help? tch, please.” you rolled your eyes, turning away and waving him off, “That’s- That’s not it!” He cries, trying to hold you, “Luna, you have to listen! I gave an apple to Eve so she could have free will! and since she broke free from control, that means that-“ He tries to explain quickly but the Seraphim’s had arrived to your location, “Lucifer! You are to be silent!” A loud voice echoed, his eyes widening in fear, you turning to see Sera and other angels you weren’t aware of.

Lucifer looked up at the seraphim’s, down to you, then down to the ground with wide eyes full of tears, “I’m too late..” He whispers under his breath, only for you to hear, you turned to him confused as angels that looked similar to him began to hold him down, you stepping back in surprise, ‘what the hell did he do?’ you pondered to yourself, “and you, Y/n, what are you doing here?” Sera asks in her angel form, you crossed your arms looking away from Lucifer, “He dragged me here when I was trying to get to my office.” you explained, walking towards Sera and standing by her side as you watched Lucifer get dragged by a few angels, Lucifer looked at you with apologetic eyes but that only made you advert your gaze, not wanting or bothering to defend him like all the times you had done all the years you had been together, just like how he made you suffer alone, he was getting the same treatment now, karma at its finest.

Lucifer didn’t care what was happening to him, he just wanted to see you again, he wanted to look at you again, he wanted you to look at him, he did that all for you…! but at what cost…? you walked away with Sera, not even giving him a second glance. He looked down, wallowing in his guilt, “please come back to me, my Luna.” he whispered under his breath.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You went back to your office with Sera, you expected to go back to work and do your usual, “You can’t work today, Y/n.” Sera ordered, “What? Why?” You asked in bewilderment, “Since you were with Lucifer before we could find him, you are now a witness.” Sera stated, you were shocked from this, “What do you mean? What did he do..?” You asked a little afraid to know the answer, Sera took a deep breath, feeling tired from how crazy the day seemed to have been for her, “A few days ago, Lucifer gave Adams’ new wife an apple.” Sera explained, “an apple?” you raised a brow, not understanding why an apple made the subject so serious, “Yes, an apple. It was made from the tree of knowledge, it gave her free will, she broke out of our control,” Sera continues as she paces in your office, pushing away stars that got in her way, “And because of that, evil has found it’s way to Earth.” Sera finishes as she looks down upset. You gasped when she finished, “Lucifer brought evil into creation that we spent so much time and effort into making??” You asked in complete shock, no wonder he came to find you, he wanted to use you as a defense to escape trouble, he was so selfish.

“Yes and now you will have to join us in court, since you were the closest to him.” Sera says as you advert your gaze from her, not feeling proud from the amount of years of your life that felt as they had gone to waste with a stranger far in the past.

“When is it?” You asked, “Since it’s urgent, it’s being held now.” Sera says, “Wait what-“ you say but before you could finish, you were teleported into the court room, you blinked twice before processing your surroundings, Lucifer at a table with Lilith, they both looked nervous, seeing the two of them together put you in a sour mood rather quickly.

“Since the Seraphim is here, I suggest this court meeting begins now,” A voice spoke, you look down at the person seeing a tall male that was quite charming, “Greetings everyone, My name is Azreal,” He said calmly and authoritative, “I am here today for the incident of evil breaching the creations of Earth, caused by; Lucifer Morningstar.” He states out, the public gallery gasping and whispering amongst each other as you looked at Lucifer, you felt worried for him and you hated that, he had betrayed your trust, he turned his back on you and your friendship, so why on Earth are you so worried about him? when Lucifer caught you staring you glared at him before turning away, continuing to listen to Azreal.

“We are gathered here to discuss the punishment Lucifer deserves after destroying the divine creations we had worked hard to make, do we have any ideas?” Azreal asks, waiting for anyone to answer, “Well obviously community service ain’t gonna help.” someone snarked, sarcastically.

“Yeah! all that hard work just for it to go down the drain in a blink of an eye? he deserves the worst of the worst!” A voice shouted angrily, others obliging as well, they began to argue and yell at Lucifer, you, watching as you put up a facade, staring nonchalant at Lucifer and Lilith. Lucifer hid under his hat worriedly as Lilith tried to hold his hand for comfort, you thought for a few moments, thinking about what they deserved.

Sera silenced the court room with a raise of her hand, “he should pay…” you mumbled quietly, only for Sera to catch on, “What was that, Y/n?” Sera asked, leaning down closer to you, “He should pay.. by living in his own mistake.” You say, confusing the higher elder.

when you broke that oak tree, it was the worst mistake of your life, all those memories were shattered into pieces and you tried.. so hard to put it back together, it did in the end but it barely stayed, despite that, you drowned yourself in guilt and sorrow, pain and sadness for months and you think, thats the perfect thing he should suffer from too.

“He should live in his mistake, create a realm of evil that he can drown in, it’s what…” you hesitate, hugging yourself to finish your sentence, “he deserves.” you finish, looking down at him and Lilith, you felt sadness and guilt, hatred and disgust all at the same time, you didn’t know how to react, this whole mess was beginning to give you a headache, he tried to use you to protect himself in all this mess and yet, all you wanted to do was cry and tell the court to forgive him! forgive and forget, but you were so full of hurt you couldn’t do either.

“don’t credit me for the idea, Sera,” you began to feel the tears escape, “please.” you pleaded silently. Sera understood and pat your head gently, “If you could listen, I have an option.” Sera calls, the court listening as you hid from everyone’s view, “We can make Lucifer face the consequences of his actions by making him drown in his own mistakes,” Sera says, trying to go off by your words, “we can create a realm of evil, so only it stays far away from the grasps of Heaven, Lucifer can be sent to the realm, to face the actions he had committed.” She finishes, Lucifer and Lilith’s mouths a gap, looking at Sera in disbelief, the court room began to murmur and whisper amongst themselves in a more calm manner, “That sounds like a fantastic idea!” Azreal smiled, “Very well then, all those in favor, raise your hand,” he says, raising his own as 99.9% of the court raised their hands into the favor, Lucifer looked around, fear rising in him but the sliver of hope was withheld when he saw you staring at him with dull, lifeless sad eyes, he looked at you pleading for help, but in this situation, you can’t.

“Miss Y/n.” Azreal called, “Is there a reason you aren’t raising your hand?” He smiles at you charmingly, you still stared at Lucifer before turning away from his gaze, slowly raising your hand… The small chance of hope burnt out when he saw your arm raised, the pain in his eyes showed, “Luna, please! you have to understand!-“ He begged, trying to go for a last ditch effort. When he called you by that name you glared at him, infuriated that he was desperately trying to get you back only when he needed you most, you leaned over the balcony, tired of his whining and crying for you, of all times he could have asked for forgiveness, he chose the time when he was in deep shit of trouble, “What. in GODS NAME do you want from me?” you sweared beyond the swearing of swears in front of the court, making everyone gasp but you didn’t care.

You flew down to the table he sat at, Azreal moving to the side, interested in the things about to unfold, “Of all the times you could have came to me, to ask for our friendship back, you choose the time you desperately needed to use me,” You snarled, “I’m sick of your shit Lucifer, you never needed me and you made that VERY CLEAR, the moment you told me to step out of your life AND I DID.” you said poking his chest, your angelic form appearing.

“You deserve this and we. both. know. it.” you finished as he looked at you with guilt in his eyes, hurt and regret, “I didn’t ask for things to turn out like this,” He said weakly, you stepped back from him to give him space, “I love you, My Luna.” He confesses in complete heartbreak, his hand to his chest as he cries, Lilith watching as she comforts him, your eyes widen from his statement as the court gasps, “What the fuck are you saying? you love Lilith!” you shouted at him in full confidence, “See? you don’t understand,” He cries, you were puzzled and insulted from his confessions, it put your mind into a frenzy, “Lilith and I were secretive because-“ “I don’t want to hear your sorry, pathetic, excuses!” You shouted at him, your chest huffing from the stress he keeps pressuring you into, “My name is NOT Luna, YOU never loved me, you chose Lilith over me, you chose EVERYTHING ABOUT Lilith over me! you love me? what a fucking joke!” you barked, Lucifer sitting down in his own chair, “I’m going to say it since you can’t seem to understand, if you want me out of your life,” you say pointing to yourself, walking to him, “then I don’t want YOU in my life.” you finish pointing to him, hatred in your eyes as he looked at you with tears falling.

it was silent in the court room, no one dared to speak up from the tension, until Lucifer swallowed before saying one simple word that forever decided what would happen between both you, Lilith and Lucifer, “Please…” he begged one last time, you squint your eyes, understanding that no matter what you say, it will never get through to his head, so you decided to be the final push of this pure broken relationship.

“Azreal, send them away.” You ordered, turning away from them both, standing behind Azreal as he walked up to them, “Guess it’s done and over then, you heard the seraphim.” Azreal smiles, Lucifers eyes widening, “Luna, Luna! please!” Lucifer begged but you ignored his calling as Azreal opened a portal.

Lilith and Lucifer held onto each other as angels forced them to go into the portal, angelic spears making them walk into their own fate, “Going down?” Azreal joked as he made Lucifer trip backwards, falling into the portal with Lilith at his side, his wings holding her up as he held onto the edge of the portal, left hanging with Lilith in his arm. Azreal smiled and waved before standing back.

“Lilith hold on, okay?” He says, looking down at her as she held onto him with his other hand. When he looked back up, his eyes widen when you appear above him, your demeanor was just pure sadness, lifeless and dull and finally for once in years, he sees a smile crack on your face, one of just pure neglect and hurt, he couldn’t look away, although he did this all for you, you would never understand why, this was not the smile he wanted to see on your face, this isn’t what he wanted or what he was trying to do for you, he wanted you to be free… and now that you are, he couldn’t share it with you…

You held his hand gently, slowly sliding it off the edge, taking it into your own, he looked at you desperately, “Just let go, Luci,” you said with a soft voice and a lifeless smile, as you slowly slid his hand off your own, loosening your grip, “Just let me go, Lucifer.” you begged, the tears falling from your eyes and onto his face made him cry as well, “Please.” You say as you let go of him, he only stared at you as he hugged Lilith, protecting her from the long fall he was going to have to endure, despite falling, his hand reached out to you still, his Luna, disappearing before his very eyes…

that’s when he realized…

he will never get the chance to give you a proper goodbye, a proper explanation… a proper confession.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

(sorry if anything is confusing, my brain likes to confuzzle itself so ask me any questions!!!3$3$)

TAGLIST WWEOOEOO:

@ag-cookiebat800 @meow-meowo @kyo-kyo1

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 11 months

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Pairing : Idol!Yang Jeongin x F!Reader TW : Jeongin is mean ; reader insecurities ; breakup ; fluffy at the end though ; Word Count : 2.2k Request : @moon0fthenight : Can we do an aNNNNGGGSSTTTYYYY innie fic where reader is depressed but my man has been coming from home after a bad day and just takes hun it put on her, (like way bad) and everything comes down like her insecurities and stuff and she breaks up with hom but he begs her to stay A/N : Working on as many requests as I can!!! My request completion attempt will take a brief pause on the first week of July though so I can start working on Season 2 of Before You Fall!! But for now... ENJOY!! I feel like I kind of veered off the track of the actual ask, but it's still close and I hope you still like it!!

“I think work has just been really stressful for him lately.” Your phone was held between your shoulder and your ear as you worked on dinner, quickly cutting up the carrots as you listened to your mom.

“Maybe you should try to do something special with him? Try to keep his mind off work for a bit.” She offered up, and you hummed in agreement, turning your phone on speaker as you set it on the counter. “A small date, just getting him out of the house. It worked wonders with your father and I, that’s how we’re still together after all this time. Sometimes stress just piles up, you know.”

“Yeah… You’re right, I’ll try that.” You mumbled, setting down the knife and sighing heavily. “I’ll talk to you later, mom.” You said, quickly hanging up the phone and taking a deep breath. Jeongin was your first serious relationship, he was the first person that you could really see yourself with. You loved him, but sometimes he just… doesn’t show the same kind of empathy that you do. If Jeongin has a bad day at work, the rest of the evening would be just as stressful for you trying to please him. If you had a bad day at work, it was nothing, easily blown over.

For some reason, Jeongin just assumed that since he made more money, his job was more important than yours. His stress was worse than yours. His emotions were more important. Everything he did, everything he felt took priority over you. At first you let it slide, you just loved him so much and you wanted him to be happy, you wanted him to know that you cared, but you felt like it was time for him to care about you.

It’s not like your life was any easier just because you weren’t an idol, if anything, it was just as hard. You had to follow his schedules, making sure that dinner was done in time for when he got home even though you were never 100% sure when he’d be home. All of the guys knew about you, and when he was having relationship troubles, he could go to them for advice. You on the other hand had to keep it all a secret. No one could ever know that you were dating him, he wouldn’t be able to handle the scandals or the rumors. Your life was hard, and you were tired of pushing that all down for him, to make sure his life was simpler.

“I’m home.” Jeongin sighed from the front door, kicking his shoes off, the rubber soles marking up the wall where they hit. Not that he cared, he’d just have you clean the walls or repaint them if he finally came to realize it. “Hyunjin kept coming at me about the dances, I can’t get it right.” He slumped down into his chair, running his hands over his face.

“Well you just started learning the choreo two days ago… It’s not like you’re going to be a master at it immediately.” You responded, hoping that it would somehow make him feel better. “I got all the stuff to make your favorite dinner when I got off work. Do you want some?” You thought that maybe bringing up your own work would make him ask about it, pique his curiosity about how your day went.

“That’s great, babe. Get me a big bowl, I’m starving.” He sat up a little in his chair, and you nodded slowly, biting your lip as you walked over to the stove. Of course he didn’t care, he wasn’t even slightly interested in your life. It was all about him, always about him. Did you even exist in the relationship for anything other than cooking his breakfasts and dinners and washing his clothes? He didn’t even touch you anymore, not unless he was super bored and had nothing else to do.

You placed his bowl down and then grabbed your own, sitting across from him at the table. “Work was awful today… the customers were rude and my manager was short tempered and shitty because I wasn’t working fast enough…” Sure, he hadn’t specifically asked for the details, but maybe he’d show some sort of concern or maybe even compassion after hearing about your day.

His eyes rolled as he groaned. “It’s just retail, babe. Don’t be such a cry baby about it.” He said and you once again bit your lip, dropping your gaze into your bowl. “I have managers to listen to, Bangchan, I’ve got reporters up my ass all the time. I’d love to have it as easy as you do.” He took another bite of the soup, humming softly to himself. “Finish your dinner so we can watch our show.” He motioned towards your bowl that you had left untouched.

“I was thinking that… maybe we can go out… on a date or something?” You mentioned, picking up your spoon once more and taking a small bite of the soup. “Just to take your mind off of work… and to give me a small break from my job.” Your feet were tapping nervously under the table, your hand shaking as you held the spoon. “Even if it’s just the park… to walk around or something… I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long and…”

You trailed off, your eyes moving lower to look at your lap when you heard Jeongins sigh. “I literally just said I constantly have reporters following after me… and you suggest going out together?” His bowl was lifted to his lips as he took a long sip of the broth before placing the bowl down again, and even though you weren’t looking at him, you could feel him looking at you. “I’m sorry that I’m busy and I can’t just work 6 hours and come home and relax. Some of us don’t have it that easy.”

Everything you did was easy in his eyes. He didn’t know how you felt, he didn’t know what it was like. “It’s not… easy…” You muttered, your teeth pressing harder into your bottom lip as you tried to keep it from trembling. “I just wanted to spend time with you…”

“I’m not stopping you from spending time with me, but for Christ’s sake, I don’t want to hear about how awful your work is when my job is way harder than yours.” There it was again. Why was it a competition of who’s job was the worst? Why did it matter? Why couldn’t you just be there for each other? “My day was awful enough as it is, and then I want to just enjoy dinner and a movie with you and I have to hear about how rough it is to ring up a couple customers. It’s kind of annoying.”

Annoying… you were annoying…? “Just because I’m not dancing and singing… it doesn’t mean my job isn’t hard. You don’t even know what it’s like…” You mumbled under your breath, but his eyes slightly widened as he leaned forward across the table to hear you better.

“Say that again… Speak up, I hate it when you mumble.” He groaned, reaching over to tilt your chin up. “And look at me when you’re talking so that I can at least try to read your lips if I can’t understand you.” Did he not even notice that you were trying not to cry right now?

“I said that… You don’t know what it’s like…” You said just a little louder now, and you could tell that he heard you, his finger falling from beneath your chin as he leaned back in his chair. “My boss is an asshole, I have to deal with customers that bitch and complain at me all day long, I barely even get a long enough break to breathe before I have to go back in and deal with it all over again. I come back home and I can’t talk to you about it because apparently my job and everything I do is shit to you. I’m so alone here and even if I had someone to talk to about how I feel, I couldn’t because no one can know about you and I being together… Even though it doesn’t even feel like we are.” You were breathing heavily as you looked at him, at least you hadn’t looked away yet. “Why are we together? I… I don’t even know… I… I want to break up.”

Now those words hadn’t actually been planned, and they most definitely hadn’t been thoroughly thought over before they had left your mouth, but now they were out, hanging in the air above the table like a chandelier. “You… Want to break up?” He questioned, as if giving you another chance to take back those words, god, he wanted you to take them back, but he didn’t want to say anything yet… He needed to know if you actually meant them.

So you thought it over, and you thought for what felt like a good bit before ultimately nodding your head. “There’s nothing here… for either of us… I don’t even know what we’re holding onto.” You sniffled softly before clearing your throat, and for the first time in weeks, you didn’t feel so nervous talking to him, everything was finally out on the table. “I’m tired of competing… I’m tired of feeling like I’m not good enough. You don’t even ask me how my days have been… it’s always all about you. I’m tired of giving my all and… not even getting 25% in return. I want to break up, Jeongin.”

There were many things in this world that your heart couldn’t handle seeing, and one of those things were tears in Jeongins eyes. His fox-like eyes completely glossed over as twinkling tears trickled down his cheeks had your heart aching. “Please… Don’t leave me…” He shakily whispered, his hands folded on the table as his thumbs rolled over each other. “You’re… You’re my first girlfriend and… I’m still learning how to do this right.” He took a deep breath, coughing immediately afterward as the lump in his throat got larger. “I’m trying, and I’m always scared that I’m not doing enough… and I was right… I’m not doing enough. I’m doing everything wrong.”

“Jeongin…”

“But you are good enough!” He cut you off with the choked out declaration, his head finally lifting to reveal his puffy red eyes as his tears continued to fall. “A-Ask Chan hyung…. I never shut up about you. I annoy the hell out of everyone there because you’re all I talk about. You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life, and I’m so lucky I have you and I don’t want to lose you just because I’m an idiot.”

“Jeongin… I…”

“And work has just been really stressful lately.” He continued, and you knew that it would be pointless to try to get a word in while he was ranting, so you sat back in your chair, watching as he continued to sob, his lips trembling as he spoke, giving his words a sort of vibrato. “I don’t know why I try to compete… I know that your job sucks too… You can quit it… I want you to quit it… I don’t want to think of people treating you like that. I’ll support you, I’ll support us… And I know that you’re tired of hiding… And I’m tired of it too… I’m gonna talk to management. I want to post pictures with you, I want to show everyone our matching outfits, I want to show everyone how beautiful you are, how lucky I am…” His words broke at the end as his face fell back into his hands, his breaths becoming heavy and quick as his sobs grew silent and his voice became hoarse. “Don’t… Don’t break up with me, please… Just one more chance… I’ll be better… I promise.”

You pushed away from the table and got up, watching his eyes widen with fear as he watched you, but you walked over to him, lowering down onto his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. “I didn’t know you cared that much…” You whispered, kissing his cheeks that were salty with the tears that he had spilled. “I love you, Innie…”

His arms snaked around you, holding you on him, making sure that you won’t even try to get up. “I love you too… I love when you call me that…” The sigh of relief was audible even after his face was hidden against your shoulder, his voice muffled against the sleeve of your hoodie. “I don’t think I’ve panicked that much since right before we debuted.” He chuckled nervously, his eyes wide as he looked up at you. “Were you… Really going to break up with me though…?” Your own eyes wavered before you hesitantly nodded yes and then his eyes somehow widened even more. “Yeah well… You can’t do that. I won’t allow it. Next time you think about breaking up with me, talk to me first, and if I’m being an asshole, hit me… And if I’m still being an ass, then you can threaten me with leaving.” He took a deep breath before letting it out in one heavy huff. “Ugh, my eyes feel like they’re gonna fall out. Come… Come, it’s cuddle time, and we’re watching our movie and you’re not allowed to move unless it’s for a bathroom break or a snack trip.” He planted kisses all along your cheeks, pulling you closer every time you tried to move away. “No! Receive my love! All 100% percent of it! I’m never letting you go! You’re mine!”

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jessicqvswrld · 6 months

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Unsaid words ll

Pairing: Neteyam x fem!Omatikaya reader

Warnings: angst, childhood friends, miscommunication trope, friends to lovers, one sided pining, she fell first he fell harder, depressed neteyam, heated kissing, fluff, (uses of y/n)

Synopsis: After Neteyam’s confession doesn’t go as planned, it is clear you need space to think, before you make your decision.

A/n: sorry for the wait.. I got writers block and school stuff got in the way so yeah.. also didn’t know how I was gonna do this part but I think I got it down now..

It had been weeks since you had spoken to neteyam that day in the forest.

It was eating away at you, his confession was too much for you to handle.

You didn’t even know how you would gather the courage to talk to him, you loved him, yes.

But this was such bad timing.

Even when you had left with loak and kiri to fly they had noticed your change of mood, one that wasn’t displayed on your face earlier that day.

“What’s wrong y/n?” Kiri exclaims her concern and it’s written all over her face how worried she was.

“Nothing..I’m okay.” you try to say calmly as to not show any suspicion, as they both looked at each other with a look, you tried to act normal after that but it was hard not to show any emotion about the fact that their brother was the cause of your mood.

Two weeks passed of avoiding him everywhere you went, you would avoid certain parts of kelutral so even you wouldn’t visit the sully’s hut anymore to specifically avoid seeing neteyam.

He felt like he was losing his mind, maybe he shouldn’t have told you anything. But at least you knew how he felt.

His parents have even noticed his change of mood as of lately. “Ma Jake have you noticed something off with neteyam?”

“No…why?” He turns his head towards her with furrowed brows.

“I’ve been noticing he’s staying out longer than usual, and his ears are always down.. I feel like something’s up with him.”

“He’s probably just going through a phase of something.” Jake brushes it off. “No it’s not a phase jake you need to talk to him.” She states.

“Alright, I’ll talk to him.” He replies, with a simple nod to his wife, giving her a kiss on the cheek before making his way out of the mauri.

Later that day he had pulled neteyam aside from training when he noticed exactly what neytiri was talking about.

He was hurting, emotionally and mentally he felt lost without you. This was the most distance that has ever been between you both in your years of friendship.

You had always been on speaking terms, so when you weren’t it wasn’t the same. He felt so empty and it was beginning to show.

He was overworking himself constantly to get his mind off of you, not eating or talking as much.

Jake walks to the edge of the treeline past some shrubs and foliage and instructs his son to sit on a round boulder.

“What is it boy, what’s on your mind?” Jake says as he leans his back on the rock.

Neteyam hated crying but his feelings were too bottled up inside him, he just had to let it out.

“It’s Y/N I waited too long to ask her to be my mate.” He chokes out holding back tears.

Jake was taken aback at his burst of emotion. He must have been kept this bottled up for some time to have a reaction like this.

He kept such a facade on all the time, taking himself too seriously because he was held up to a very high standard as to being the firstborn and the next to become olo’eyktan.

His only weakness was you.

“What happened son?” I didn’t know you had a thing for y/n that’s great.”

Neteyam shuts his words down, “It doesn’t matter now. I missed my chance, Rai’uk wants to court her and I’m not sure what she’s gonna say.” Neteyam says doubting that you would give him a chance now.

“Okay, well you said he “wants” to meaning hasn’t yet, you still have a chance son, you just need to let her know how you feel.”

Neteyam takes in a hitched breath from the excessive crying,“I did but it’s complicated dad she was waiting for me to choose her..and I never did.. I’m such a skxwang for waiting too long.”

Jake quietly chuckles to himself hearing his first son go on about his teenage feelings about a girl, reminding of him and how he was younger and first met neytiri.

He knew you since you were a child, as a young girl you were always welcome to their home. Neytiri took a liking to you immediately since you were such a gentle girl with a kind heart.

He didn’t know about his son’s feelings for you though, and in order to be of any help he needed to know the details.

“When did you say this to her, what did she say back?” putting a hand on his shoulder in attempt to comfort him.

“Like two weeks ago, and she said she needed to think about what I had said to her.” He says sniffing and wiping a tear from his face.

“Okay, well think about it this way neteyam, she said she needs to think about it, that doesn’t necessarily mean you lost your chance.”

Neteyam turns his gaze to meet his father’s in response to his words.

“She’ll come to you on her own when she wants to talk, if she really wants to work things out with you…you just need to be patient and give it time.”

“Overthinking won’t solve anything.”

Neteyam heard his father’s words and nodded at his words as to take them in almost to get a better understanding.

“Head home son you did enough work today.”

It was quite rare for Jake to let him go home early, but he figured to cut his son some slack. Regardless neteyam was thankful, and had now had a change of mood to come at his situation a different way.

You on the other hand, had wanted space from Rai’uk as well mainly because as he was handsome and all he is also very dull and doesn’t really have much personality to him as neteyam does. You told Rai’uk that you needed space as well.

You were questioning if Rai’uk was the person you wanted to spend your life with. You were much more comfortable with neteyam having known him since you were both children.

It was obvious who you were going to choose.

Later that day you had made up your mind that you were just going to talk to neteyam and say how you really feel, not what you want to feel.

But what you actually feel.

You let a few hours pass and it was already going to be time for communal dinner.

The last few days you were sitting with kiri and loak. Neteyam sitting not to far from his siblings stole a few glances at you, how you were so naturally yourself with his siblings that you never would’ve guessed that all these things that were said just between you and him.

You too stole glances and wanted nothing more to speak to him but your own stubbornness didn’t allow you too.

Until today, you couldn’t let yourself get in the way this time.

After mostly everyone had finished most of their meals, everyone hangs around just talking.

Loak and kiri were bantering about whatever sibling antics they were occupied and that’s when you got up before you could have the chance to overthink.

You had made your way to where he was hunched over talking to one of his friends.

His friend saw you coming before he did. Instantly pointing your presence out which caught neteyam’s attention. You clear your throat briefly, “Is it okay if I speak with you neteyam?” He looks up and for two weeks your eyes were finally on him.

He was a bit caught off guard cheeks heating up at the sound of your voice, nonetheless he nervously took your hand as you led him the forest.

You had already played out in your mind how you were going to tell him, that you chose him.

That he was always the one you have been undeniably in love with.

You strided the forest with confidence, neteyam behind you admiring the way your hips moved when you walked. You stopped a bit further in the green foliage.

“Neteyam I have thought about what you said to me, and how insensitive I was about your feelings.”

“I was only frustrated with my feelings I didn’t take consideration of your own.”

“ it’s okay y/n, you don’t ever have to apologize, I dropped all of my feelings on to you, it was reasonable to be upset.” He looks down for a brief moment.

You take in his words but don’t get the chance to respond because he follows after with, “y/n I need you to know that I love you, that I will always love you.” He looks up as to show how serious he was. You heart swells with emotion at his words.

Choosing neteyam was always easy for you, he never wanted to hurt you in any way, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love him back, so you tell the truth.

“I love you too neteyam, more than anything.” A smile creeps on his lips as you said the words he thought he never would hear. He steps closer to you and grabs your hands in his.

“ I don’t know how I managed to keep my feelings for you hidden for so long, I was so stupid before, but please let me show you that I will be better for you now.”

“Please give this a chance.”

You felt heat in your cheeks rise up in your face as you rub the back of his hand with your fingers.

“Please be my mate y/n.”

You dreamt of the day he would ask you this, the day he would take your hand into his and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him.

You place your hand on his cheek and smile at him, you answer his question by crashing your lips on to his, his eyes widen at the sudden kiss, but flutter close as he loses himself in your taste.

He moves his hands to your waist pulling you closer into him, deepening the kiss you felt his tongue slip between your lips until eventually they went farther the more eager he was getting.

You break the kiss briefly to breathe, the silence in the air filled by you two catching your breath.

“I would love to be your mate, neteyam.” You say in between pants.

He looks at you with lustful eyes admiring every freckle on your face, he couldn’t believe this was happening that you loved him unconditionally.

he cups your cheek in his hand and smiles eyes darting down at your lips, before he leans down and gives you the most slow intimate kiss ever.

You have the familiar feeling of butterflies in your stomach mad you feel like folding again.

A/N: kinda want to make a part 3 to this possibly where they are further in their relationship but we’ll see.. hope you enjoyed and thx for reading.🤍

#avatar neteyam #atwow fanfiction #neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x na'vi!reader #fluff #angst

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sleepingcup · 28 days

Text

Still with You

Game: Stardew Valley

Characters: Sebastian x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, a little bit of angst

Summary: Sebastian admires you just thw way you are.

(please be aware of ooc)

-----

You may not notice this before and even until now, for being just a normal farmer who just sell crops, restores the community center with your junimo friends, helping the others in need to gain their full trust, you have everything.

Yeah...except for one.

Getting a spouse.

It is the ONLY thing you never had while you were doing your best in Pelican Town, and yet you never realize how you actually make others feel better than before even if you can't fix them completely.

Out of all the possible candidates, you found interest on a certain boy.

Even if...you never understand yourself very well...

Local Emo boy, Sebastian.

Lives in the mountain with his parents tho there will always be conflict wherever he goes, it started off as a awkward conversation, but soon it turns to a more...nice and friendly relationship you two have.

What goes romancing anyone can do to you? You are just doing something to save yourself and yet, it turns out that you yourself need saving too but….how? An endless spiral of questions appears on your mind, walking in the rain where no one can really hear you to the beach where you can find solace to the sounds of the rain and the sounds of the beach waves by the docks, and yet…

“Hm? (Farmer)?”

“!!!”

He is there.

“You come to beach in the rain as well?”

You nodded, not expecting someone to be there in the rain. Most people stay at home to avoid the rain for colds but here Sebastian is relishing into the rain like nothing happened. Walking closer to him you two remained quiet, giving a slight glanced at him he looks relaxed but looking a bit sad. Hearing him talk to you does help you well to feel a bit better, and yet he noticed that the rain was getting him more.

“Here there is room for two.”

You walked closer to him a little bit hoping to not take too much space, the two of you relaxed into rain quietly, it was comforting. And yet you never imagine that he is slowly warming up to you. From a slightly awkward conversation in his room, encountering him fixing a motorcycle and plans to move out of town, playing games with him and Sam in his room, and now relaxing with him quietly on the beach side. You do admit secretly that you are comfortable with him being there with you.

But you remember one small pain that you can tell, during in the Flower Dance, you watched Abigail dancing with Sebastian even if you didn’t participate in the dance but to only watch them dance. What is this painful feeling he is just your acquaintance/friend, she looked proud even tho you did not do anything but talk to him just casually.

“…(er)….(Farmer)….”

Why….why does your heart ache when you can’t express it-

“(Farmer), are you okay? You looked lifeless for a minute…”

When you snap out of it, Sebastian was facing you he looked concerned and doesn’t understand why.

“….I….”

“…I know you hear my story about myself a bit just now…. But…. will you let me get to know you a little more even if it hurts?”

You were speechless but to Sebastian he know fully well that there is no one who can hear you out, he has seen you feeling lifeless or depressed in one of these previous days but its rare for him to see you this sad in person. Taking a deep breath before facing to the ocean….

“I….never understand myself and my emotions well….”

You were told you had apathy, doesn’t smile, doesn’t show emotion, but when you do it never makes sense to you. You just want to get to know more about Sebastian and the other people in town not just show emotions. “Im sure the you and the town knows that…I don’t smile more often… I don’t even understand myself very well….” Holding your arm for a slight bit of comfort you closed your eyes taking a sharp breath.

Not ready to see his reaction you decided to continue, “I’m scared… Being a people pleaser for money is not my thing…. And yet, seeing progress with everyone one by one makes me wonder…. What if actually feels to feel….loved.”

“…”

You wanted to run to home and yet, you felt an arm wrapped around your waist. Opening your eyes you saw Sebastian pulling you closer to him, he has a reassuring smile on his face before making you lean your head on his shoulder.

You don’t get it, it never makes sense.

You respected his dream, you respected him, but you never seen him….being this close to you.

Parts of you want to push him away and yet….you feel like you deserve comfort from him.

“Are you feeling a bit better now that you say whats on your mind?”

“….y-yes….”

No more words, only silence and yet there is comfort in silence. Its like time has slowed or stopped for a moment, and yet you feel rather….relieved. Having someone to hear you out is something that you never expected it to be so comforting.

“Did you….hate me for saying these words?”

“No, its rather understandable for you to have these feelings. I don’t hate you for that, but rather thankful that you also open up to me.”

You two stare at the sky that was now going dark, and yet…

“Hey….Sebastian…?”

He looks at you confused before you gently hug him underneath the umbrella, “Thanks.” You don’t want to explain yourself and when you pull away just to look at him once more, you didn’t realize what your doing.

“I’ll find myself going to visit you once I got free time…. But please warm up once your home.”

You pull away from him before waving goodbye to him walking yourself to the town once more leaving Sebastian alone. You didn’t realize this but….you realize that you almost kissed him. It made your face feel warm from what you just did.

Sebastian on the other hand was speechless, feeling his face becoming warmer. You may not noticed this but he saw you smile for the very first time, and yet he did saw that your face was red up close at that. He finds himself covering his mouth feeling warmer than the cold.

He remembers you being there for him on times like this but was not expecting to feel…romantic towards you. He knows fully well that you have apathy and yet he admired you for one reason, being his solace that he never expected. The time where you invited Sebastian to your house for a relaxing dinner after his argument with his step-dad, he felt guilty when he almost yelled at you for trying to comfort him and yet you let him rest on your house and let him relax in your couch while your taking care of the crops. He did tell you many times that he is sorry but you kept on reassuring him that its completely fine since you knew his living condition.

Not only that you also give him gifts that he never had before, risking your life in the mines to get him a Frozen Tears or Obsidian for him, wasting your time fishing just to give him Sashimi, using your crops and milk to give him Pumpkin Soup, giving him something he never expected like the Frog Egg or Void Egg makes him happy. And you hearing him out on his frustrations he rambled on makes him feel even better, he knows your doing it to please him but he also knows that you are purely genuine with him even in you did not realize it.

Walking his way home, he can feel his heart beating so fast.

Sebastian admitted that he admired you, and yet he DOES worries that you might stress yourself out.

…

He stormed out of his house again but not out of anger or stress, something was giving him a bad feeling. Walking to the mines at night he saw you trying to walk out of the mines but from what he looked at you shock and fear grew within him…

“(FARMER!)”

You were gravely injured, limping slowly as time becomes 2 am. He ran to you straight ahead and captured you to his arms. He check on you with a worried expression on his face and yet you were just unconscious but not dying, he was relieved and yet he needs to make a move.

Carrying you in his arms and walks his way to your house despite how tired he really was, but his priorities is not himself but you. Inside on your house upon arrival he check your injuries and patched it up carefully with your nearby emergency medkit without waking you up. And yet he felt something cool on his hands, it was a frozen tear and he looked at you but you were still asleep.

“For…..Seb….by…”

“….”

He finds himself blushing at that, “….Why must you make me worry at a time like this….” Carefully and gently placing you on the bed before giving you the blanket, he stared at your sleeping face calmly before finding himself learning towards you and yet….he soon realize what he had done and quietly pulled away.

“….But….what if you don’t….”

Sebastian sadly can’t bring himself to kiss you, what if you’re interested in someone else like Sam, Abigail, or others. And yet he instead hold your hand gently before smiling at you, “Get better soon…(Farmer)…” He got up from your bed before quietly walks out of your house before locking it from behind, face still feeling warm and yet he too wanted to kiss you, but…he needs to know your feelings.

…

Morning finally comes in 6 am, waking up from the sound you tried to remember what happened to you.

You remembered getting gravely injured while fighting the enemies but quickly escaped to the ladder once you realized that it was almost 2 am, but you didn’t lose anything this time but…. neither your money or items was stolen.

“…”

You are confused the second you check your mailbox but nothing was there, you were expecting someone to let you know but no, nothing.

“But….who….”

Then it hits you, the last person you had seen was Sebastian before you didn't land roughly on the ground. There is only on conclusion, and it was Sebastian that brought you here but nothing was stolen.

"...I need to pay him back..."

The next weeks has passed, you made sure you repay Sebastian but he insist that you really don't need to give him anything. And yet when all hope for you feels a bit lost, one day you got an new mail from Robin and upon reading it....

You immediately knew what gift to give, even tho it feels incomplete you decided to get something extra for his gift, you quickly grabbed a stored pumpkin and fresh milk before going back to the house just to make the perfect gift for him, (even tho he is maxed out).

That autumn night of the was truly the day you repay him completely.

Arriving at his room for a nice chit chat by 3:30 pm, you two had a decent chat before the next was comfortable silence. You watching him programming while assisting him on some codes, he never knew you had talent on programming and thanks to you his job feels more easier than before.

"Say...Sebastian."

He looked at you wondering what you had to say, but was greeted by the delicious pumpkin soup that you had well prepared for him.

Smiling at the gift he gladly accepts it from you.

"I love this! How did you know?"

"Your mom let me learn the recipe just for you."

Sebastian was stunned not knowing that she made good friends with his mom just to help you give him a gift out of the materials you stored. Feeling his hand touching your cheek just to look at him, he knew that you were able to feel better. And when he was about to lean closer he suddenly pulled away blushing as you were speechless at his actions.

It was VERY slow for you to realize it...

You truly love him.

Quickly getting his hand before pulling him a bit closer surprising Sebastian, he was about to say something but you gently kisses his cheek before placing something on his arms.

Pulling away he looked down at the gift.

"!!!!"

Sebastian was blushing alot before looking at you with a warm smile, he knew he admired you just the way you are, getting used to his attitude, knowing how to make him smile, and for the times he get to watch you being beautiful even if it wasn't the case.

"I...I didn't know you feel the same way."

He took a glimpse at you with a smile watching your expression, you normal or depressed look your face was replaced by a gentle smile and yet you are blushing at your own actions towards him.

"...Sorry... That I took a long time to...feel that way."

Sebastian shook his head before pulling you to a hug.

Reminiscing the end of Summer by the Moonlight Jellies, Sebastian manage to take a glimpse at you. Being mesmerized by the blue soft glow, and yet when no one else wasn't paying extra attention he saw your genuine smile. It was one reason why he has gotten soft on you without breaking character. Unfortunately he was not able to see that smile after that, it must have felt like a core memory.

And yet.

"Don't make fun of me. But I never had a girlfriend/boyfriend before."

"I won't, it makes you special just the way I love you."

And yet he won't stop blushing, staring at you lovingly before giving your cheek a gentle kiss.

Ever since that day, you made his day even better when you are by his side. The moment you left his room, he was smiling at the bouquet of romantic flowers before hugging it closer to his chest relishing the moment you two have just now.

And if you are completely very luckily, you will see him staring at you with a smile and a cute blush that got your heart racing.

...

Before the beginning of Winter, you ran to the beach shore to do some foraging.

Ever since you become Sebastian's boyfriend stress and pressure has been applying for the both of you, trying to being the perfect maid to the people while doing dangerous tasks takes a deeper toll on you.

Meanwhile Sebastian had to get used to endless nagging, and worse of all his step-dad being completely rude to him which results him to return to his very bad habits.

Sure the both of you meet up in secret but what romantic moment was turned to empty and yet normal relationship, but in one of those times....

"I like you hair."

"!!!"

There are nice and tender moments hiding underneath the waters of the iceberg, despite you feeing the stress, pressure, and painful injuries you still went out of your way just to see him. Sebastian can be worried about you and yet...

"May I have you hand Sebastian?"

Sebastian was confused before lending out his hand to you, "Please, close your eyes." You said before he did what you told him, he felt something cold and yet it was highly different from the gifts. "You may open it now." And just like that, he opened his eyes...

It was a Mermaid's Pendant.

...

Ever since you two were married, Sebastian had never felt THIS HAPPY before. Marrying you was his best decision ever and as a result he lives in your house comfortably.

Plus he get to learn something silly from you. getting insane over the silliest of things, being overall very clingy to him when you go near him.

Sebastian did his very best to quit smoking for real just to live a bit more longer with you, and as a result he felt like his choices are rewarding. You still accept his sudden confessions of being alone, you still made sure you give him gifts, heck you evenly made sure that he gets the love he wanted to receive for so long.

There was money struggles from time to time but he understands since you two kept a nice conversation from time to time, sure he knows that you give gifts to other genders but its different compared how you give him gifts.

Finally one day the house was completely upgraded and he was tempted on the basement but you were pouting at him for that silly suggestion.

But that isn't all...

One rainy day you went home again to check up on Sebastian...

You are normally stoic and yet, that won't stop your heart from beating loudly. knowing the facts that Sebastian is genuinely romantic at random times can sometimes get you insane in love with him all over again.

It made you a blushing mess much to Sebastian's happy reactions from you.

You quickly pulled him closer to give him a hug and kisses that he still desperately needs, the same moment when time was stopped and yet, it was stopped in the most right way possible.

After all...

He still enjoys your company with him even now.

#stardew valley #sdv #sebastian #stardew valley sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian x reader #stardew valley sebastian #sdv sebastian

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ash5monster01 · 1 year

Text

Do you want me?

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x FemReader

Warnings: angst, fluff

Summary: As a girl who had often been single and found herself in crappy relationships, it’s hard to get into a new relationship without knowing the full intentions of the other. So when Rooster starts to show his attraction in more physical ways it’s hard to just let it slide. (just a short little blurb but I relate very much to it considering most men who kiss me go for other girls anyways, so I wanted to make Rooster a comfort character)

word count: 744

Masterlist

If you were being completely honest you weren’t sure when your relationship with Rooster had turned into something more. First it was simple, just friends. Then touches started to linger, eyes began to stare, and compliments meant so much more. So here you were, sat on the couch of his apartment, watching a movie you had seen a hundred times, as he popped a fresh bag of popcorn. The flirting had been going on long enough now that both of you were aware of the attraction, so when Rooster came back he wasn’t so shy about sitting directly next to you. His arm wrapped around the back of your spot on the couch.

“We can watch something else” he told you, his face so close it was almost hard to breath. For the first time since you guys had started flirting you felt the panic set in. It had been a long time since you had kissed someone and it actually mean something. Rooster took your silence as a different answer though. “Unless you don’t want to watch a movie?”

“Sorry” your apology was pathetic because there was nothing to apologize for. “I was stuck in thought”

“Oh yeah, about what?” the suggestive smirk on Roosters face brought a red tint to your cheeks. You had never been shy to men flirting but you knew you deserved more than what you had in the past and with how confusing this whole new relationship had been, how were you to know his true intentions?

“Wouldn’t you like to know” you teased nudging your shoulder into his chest now that he had turned his body to face you a bit more.

“I would because if it’s about me kissing you then that’s what I was thinking about too” you felt your heart sink and you wish you hadn’t been so disappointed by men in the past and this moment would be much more exciting than depressing for you. Rooster could sense this change in your demeanor and he pushed some hair behind your ear. “We also don’t have to if you don’t want to”

“It’s not that” you sighed pressing your face into your hands. You felt so silly and dumb but it had been so long since you had actually felt wanted and even then it was just a feeling.

“You can tell me Y/N” he liked you, more than he thought he did, and he wanted this to be perfect. But if you were having second thoughts he didn’t want to get too attached.

“It’s just if you kiss me it has to be because you want to kiss me. I can’t pretend that being just some other girl, another checkmark on a long list of ladies satisfies me. If we do this, if I open up to you, I’m making sure I’m not wasting my time on a guy who has other options that he knows he would choose over me. I have to be the only choice because I’m so tired of being disappointed” Rooster had not expected this response and he felt his heart ache at the fact someone amazing as you had never been treated the way you should be.

“Y/N I don’t even have another option in mind. To be perfectly honest with you my feelings for you snuck up on me. But right here, right now, you are the only girl I want on my couch. And you are definitely the only girl I want to kiss” your heart began to pound at this confession. But it also continued to hammer against your chest because this almost guaranteed he was going to be kissing you.

“Promise?” you whispered, the anticipation now killing you.

“I promise” he told you before pressing his lips against yours. His mustache scratched your face but you could care less because it didn’t even compare to how amazing his plump lips felt against yours. Now that you knew he wanted this as much as you it felt like you could breathe. The taste of his cherry lips was better than you had imagined and he quickly pressed a firm hand into your back, pushing you further into him. Who cared about the movie now because this was so much better than anything else in this world.

“Yeah, I don’t want to watch the movie anymore” you said as you pulled away and he grinned before closing the gap between you once more.

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confused-wanderer · 1 year

Text

*clear throat* Now look I’m all up for a desperate depressed superman showing up at the bat cave in the rain whispering to Batman “I had nowhere else to go..” just like the next person BUT:

Imagine the reverse. And by reverse I don’t mean batman asking superman but Bruce asking Clark.

Bruce knows his secret identity (cuz he’s batman obv) but Superman is the one person he’d trust his life to, one whom he knows would help anyone without any question.

So imagine Clark hearing a knock on the door in the middle of the night and opens it to see an overwhelmed, overstimulated having a depressive episode and doesn’t want to call anyone playboy rich boy Bruce Wayne.

The way Clark’s reporter instincts are simply itching to have a one on one with Gothams most elusive recluses, but the look in his eyes makes them all die down.

Bruce can feel his mouth opening, and through the buzz of his brain he can distinctly make out a voice. His voice. Oh.. when did he start talking? What was he saying.

“I- I didn’t know where else to go..”

And Clark immediately runs out, gently steering him inside and helping him remove his drenched suit. He takes one look at how out of it Bruce seems and just starts taking care of him, from making a good meal and sitting patiently while he eats it to running a nice warm bath for him and calmly nudging him to take a shower. The man looks like a shower can’t fix him but Clark knows it’ll help.

He hears Bruce’s steady but abruptly rapid heartbeat and doesn’t need to have superpowers to know he’s dissociated. Feeling a bit overprotective he makes sure Bruce finally gets some food and then gives him the warmest room to sleep in before settling down in front of the television to try and focus on something other than the billionaire that just showed up on his doorstep.

Wait a minute.. how did he even know where to find him? Why was he in metropolis? Bruce Wayne had no galas he knew of, and why did he look so.. so broken?

It isn’t until he almost flies off the ground in surprise when he looks over to see Bruce just standing there next to him, simply staring at the television.

How the heck did he creep up on him that?

“Sorry, is the television too loud?”

Bruce’s eyes somehow focus but he doesn’t speak, instead shaking his head.

“.. do you want to sit?”

After a few minutes of silence Bruce finally relents, sitting tense on the edge of the sofa.

Maybe he wants loud Clark thinks.

A few hours later, Clark is half asleep when he tunes in to hear a steady, slower paced heartbeat slowly rising to a throbbing roar, and suddenly he hears sharp gasps for breath, frantic and terrified as if the air wasn’t enough.

Bruce is moving around, eyes squeezed shut and hands in his hair, chest heaving faster and faster with every passing breath. Clark doesn’t even realise how fast his arms shoot up to hold him and drag Bruce onto him, hands wrapped protectively around the convulsing man. He barely hears himself whispering a jamble of English and kryptonian soothing lullabies while rocking them both, while his mind furiously searched for why he was behaving this way.

“Bruce..” he whispered, voice urgent and low. “Bruce, you are safe. Listen to me, you are safe and everything is okay, okay? Nothings going to hurt you, I promise I won’t let it happen.”

He reaches for the trembling hand and places it on his pounding heart. Okay okay now what? What should he do.

“Bruce.. listen to me okay.. breathe in for four seconds. Here I’ll do it with you.”

Taking a deep breath, he made sure it was loud and slow, and was relieved when he heard the other man so the same.

“Okay, good! Now.. hold it for seven seconds… and now breathe out for eight.”

He let out a long and loud exhale, and repeated the process until he felt Bruce’s heartbeat return to normal.

A few moments passed in silence, with Clark trying to calm his heartbeat when a hand pressed urgently against his chest.

“Alive.. safe…”

Putting his hand over the one clutching his heart he clasped it firmly.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “Safe. Don’t worry about a thing Bruce go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

He hears a few grunts, muffled mumbles before slowly as time passes he feels all the tension go out of the man’s body.

He doesn’t think much of the encounter, not the next day when he wakes up to a tshirt worn from being gripped too tightly and a note written on his table thanking him, along with some money to pay for the water bill.

Later that day when Clark suits up and roams around the Watchtower, he’s surprised to see Batman sitting and listening to Barey ramble on about the time he got into a prank competition with Kid Flash and Nightwing. He notices how the Dark Knights heartbeat sounds calmer, how he leans back on his hands and lets out a silent chuckle. He was.. relaxed. And in a better mood than he was all week.

After Barry left to prepare for the next round of pranks, he approaches Gothams Knight.

“Hey there Batman! Sleep well last night?”

He almost imagines it but there’s warmth in batman’s demeanour as he looks fondly at Clark.

“Yes.. Best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time..”

#superbat #batman #batman angst #batman fluff #superbat fluff #superman #bruce wayne #bruce wayne angst #clark kent #barry allen #the flash #nightwing #dick grayson #wally west #kid flash #dc fluff

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whiskeynwriting · 1 year

Text

A New Home (Pt. 2)

Joel Miller x Curvy!Female Reader

◆

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI)

Body insecurity, age gap, brief alcohol consumption, dirty talk, size kink, brief mention of male masturbation, grinding/dry humping, vaginal fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected vaginal sex, brief cumplay

◆

A/N: Here's part two! I meant to post this much sooner, but life has definitely gotten in the way. I hope you enjoy my babies (:

Co-written with @fishingforpike

◆

Joel Miller Masterlist

Join My Taglist!

◆

Falling back into his old routine is easy, he’s been doing it for years now. He goes to work, attending his scheduled patrols and contributing to the town wherever the council sees fit. He does his part. Back and forth, home to work, work to town, back to home. When he came to Jackson, all he wanted was rest, routine. And after some time, that’s what he found. While this was an easy pattern to return to, something has definitely changed. One small detail, but big enough for him to notice.

You were constantly at the back of his mind.

Everything he did was just like before, his work was just as good, he took care of himself and Ellie adequately. But behind every daily movement, there you were, your kind smile and dazzling eyes. Your voice, and the way you spoke to him. The interest you showed him.

“So, are you gonna tell me?”

“Huh?” Cocking a brow, Joel grumbles, turning to look over his shoulder at his adoptive daughter.

“What’s been making you so depressed?”

Turning back to the eggs he’s cooking, he hides his sigh. “I’m not depressed.”

“You come home every day just to lay in bed. You don’t even go to Tommy’s anymore, man. I call that depressed.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Walking over to the table, he slides the food onto their plates.

“Well I’m gonna.” But Joel doesn’t respond, just sits down to eat. Eyeing him up and down, Ellie’s lips form a stern line before she finally decides to venture into particular sensitive territory. “Is it because of her?”

She doesn’t know it, but the wound of you was re-opened only a few hours ago, and is hurting even more than before. He’d wandered over to your house, knocking on the door. He just wanted to see you, was worried about you. But you didn’t answer, didn’t even look out a window. Nothing. And where else could you be?

“Ellie.” Joel warns, his tone wavering slightly.

“What happened, Joel? It was only a week but I dunno, you seemed pretty happy.”

Dropping his utensils, they clink against his plate. “It just didn’t work out, okay?”

He’s fuming about this, chest rising and falling while his eyes fixate on the wooden table.

“But why?”

“Ellie, this is none of your business.”

“It is when I live with the big grump of a man that you are!”

“Ellie!”

“What was it? Was it her? Was it you?” She feels like she has a right to know. You’re new to town, and could’ve been new to their family.

“It wasn’t either of us, okay? It was just the, the circumstance.”

Before Ellie can say another word, there’s a knock on the door. Joel’s younger brother taps his knuckles against the wood before letting himself in and calling out for them. A routine between their small family.

“Joel?”

Groaning, he rolls his eyes. “Yeah?”

Trotting into the kitchen, Tommy walks up to the table, looking between the two of them.

“What’s uh… what’s goin’ on?”

“Joel won’t tell me how he fucked things up.”

“Ellie, you’re stepping over a line!” Pointing his finger, he glares at her, Tommy’s brows raising at the interaction.

“Woah, woah… you talkin’ ‘bout…” Pointing behind his back, he’s referencing you, your house across the way.

“Yeah! Who else?!” Tommy grins and Ellie’s outward sass, sliding off his gloves while sitting down.

“Hey,” He calls to his brother, his voice gentle. “C’mon, man. What really happened?”

A forceful breath is shoved out of his nose, those dark eyes darting over toward Ellie. And Tommy sighs.

“Why don’t you give us a minute, huh?” He tries to reason, offering a sympathetic glance.

“But I’m eating!”

“You can eat in your room.” That baritone voice booms, eyes watching Ellie huff as she stands.

Dramatically, she snatches up her fork and plate, stomping up the stairs.

“She’s a handful.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Joel groans, rubbing his face.

“So, tell me.” Clasping his hands together, Tommy leans forward, watching his brother release a heavy sigh.

“We went to the bar,” Clearing his throat, he props his elbows up on the table, fingers intertwining.

“Oh, I’m surprised I didn’t see y’all.” Tommy’s smiling brightly, delighted to hear that Joel took you out on a real date. “When did you go?”

“That doesn’t matter, Tommy.” Furrowing his brows, he scoffs. “Clark was there.”

“Shit,” Rolling his eyes, Tommy inquires further, “Did he say something?”

“Basically called her fat.”

“Are you shitting me?!”

Again, Joel scoffs, shaking his head. “He embarrassed her, Tommy. Embarrassed her bad.”

“What did you do?”

“Went to say somethin’ but, she stopped me. Put her hand on my chest and just… wanted to go home.”

Now, Tommy quiets down. He hasn’t seen or heard from you in days, and was getting worried, too. Clearly this situation was bad enough to keep you away for so long. Your second date with Joel was two weeks ago.

“I sat with her, told her what I thought and… how gorgeous I thought she was. Still is.”

“And?”

“Said she needed time. I guess… it was just too much for her. Got her feelin’ insecure and, I don’t know if…” A shaky breath leaves his chest. “I probably wasn’t it for her.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, Tommy. I thought, I thought I was protecting Tess, keeping her safe but,” Glancing over at his brother, he shakes his head, an enormous amount of emotion in his eyes. “I’m a fucking fool.”

But instead of wallowing with his brother in his own self pity, Tommy scoffs. “Have you forgotten the man that you are?”

Looking up, those emotional eyes focus, brows deepening in their crease. “Huh?”

“Everything you did for Tess wasn’t for nothing, and you know that. I know you do. And everything you’ve done for Ellie? What about all that?”

“I don’t know, Tommy, I just -”

“Well I know.” He declares, cutting his older sibling off. “I know you’re better’n this. Better than talking yourself down and not realizing who you are. I’ve seen you be more resilient than this, Joel. If you want that woman, go after her.”

“Tommy I just, I don’t know if it would’ve worked out, anyway. I don’t think… I don’t know if she was actually interested in me… that way.” He’s so clearly gaslighting himself.

“Why would she go on two dates with you if she didn’t like you?” Ellie points out, shouting from the stairs.

“Hey!” Spinning around in his seat, he glares at her, having set up camp on the steps to listen in.

“She’s right, Joel.”

Releasing a frustrated sigh, he returns to sitting properly in his chair. “I wouldn’t even know what to do at this point.” With a heavy groan, he rubs a hand down his face, closing his eyes.

“Well…” Glancing over at Ellie, her face lights up with a grin, immediately hopping off the steps to come back in.

And when Joel hears her steps, he looks up, confused by her expression. But then he sees that Tommy’s wearing the same one.

“You still got that guitar?”

It’s intriguing, the sound. One you’ve yet to hear in Jackson. For being such a secure little town, you’d think music would bring it to life. But so far, all you’ve heard are nothing but quiet streets. But while the sound is new to your current home, you’re already growing to like it

Walking toward your window, you try to recall the tune. It’s slow and steady, and you’re not sure you can name the song it’s from, nor the person playing it. But the view from your bedroom quickly explains the situation to you.

It took everything in him to follow through, fearing that you’d just laugh at him. At best, he’ll win you back. And at worst, he’ll be rejected by you. He can’t stop thinking about that, wondering if this will be the final time you reject him. But when he glances up again, his thoughts subside into nothingness. His heart practically stops beating, and yet even through his fear, he’s happy to see your pretty face again. And even better, you smile at him.

“Fuck,” He breathes out, looking down at the strings again. “Time to sing, I guess.” Hell, he always wanted to do this when he was a kid.

Slowly, you slide your window up, wanting to get a better view of this. Nibbling on the corner of your lip, you rest on your knees with your elbows on the sil, wondering what exactly he’s up to.

With a deep inhale, he gathers every ounce of confidence before parting his lips. “I… haven’t done this before, but thought I’d give it a crack.”

Eyes widening, you listen to him, to the pretty voice he has.

“So, I’m kneelin’ here, tryna win you back.” Returning his eyes to the strings, he releases his anxieties, nodding. “I know what happened had a real impact, and I wanted to say that I’m sorry. But…”

Returning his gaze to you, he looks up as he sings, “I’ve missed you lately. I’ve missed my honey.”

While you’ve been apart, you have to admit that you’ve missed that southern drawl. The smirk curling on your lips betrays every negative emotion that’s been brewing inside you, every thought that had convinced you Joel was gone.

With another heavy sigh, he shakes his head. “That man was just dumb, to say what he said. I’ve seen him before and he’s just thick in the head.”

Giggling, you exhale a contended breath. He’s right, and being able to relax by yourself at home has led you to the same conclusion. That guy was an asshole and you’ve dealt with men like that all your life, and probably will for the rest of it, too. But that doesn’t mean you have to believe them.

"But that doesn't matter, because..." Looking up, Joel sighs dreamily, staring into your eyes. "You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. And if you want, it’ll be just you and me.”

As he says this, a cold rush of air sweeps through the street. And while he’s wearing his coat, he still shivers, groaning quietly.

“But… while I’m crouching down, I’m feelin’ kinda old.” Quirking an eyebrow at this comment, you grin. “‘Cause my back’s kinda hurtin’, from being in the cold.”

Poor baby, is the first thing you think. He really is doing so much for you, he’s doing more than any man has ever done for you.

“So could you do me the favor, of comin' down?” And when he sees you nod, he smiles happily. “And get back to scoldin’ me for being such a grouch.”

Sprinting down your stairs, you hadn’t even bothered to close the window or grab a coat before you’re running out the front door. Standing with a groan, Joel grins shyly, setting his guitar on your snowy grass.

A soft grunt is forced out of him when you hit his chest, arms wrapping around his neck. But his arms were open and ready for you, immediately circling your smaller frame. With his dominant hand rising, it finds the back of your head, lightly stroking your hair while keeping you pressed against him.

“Did you really mean everything you said?” You’re whispering into his neck, grinning when you see Tommy and Ellie’s heads jerk out of frame from across the street. They’d been watching the entire thing through their living room window.

“Oh, baby.” He finds himself feeling emotional, pulling back to look down at you. Sliding his hand down and around, he cups your cheek. He’s so happy that this worked, so happy to see you in his arms again. “Of course I did.”

Without even thinking about it, he leans in. But hesitancy then overcomes him, that is, until you reach up on your tippy toes to meet him. Reassurance and warmth fill his insides when your lips meet, leaning into the comfort of them. He missed this, missed the way you feel and smell and look. With his hands sliding down, they land on your hips, holding you firmly as you repeatedly kiss him.

“I missed you.” Your own palms move to his cheeks, petting at his silver scruff.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” Looking into your eyes, he pleads, “Does this mean I can see you again?” And that deep southern drawl you love so much is now growing a little desperate. “Please?”

“Yes, Joel.” Nodding, you press your forehead to his, smiling. “Do you… I mean, are you busy now?”

Leaning down to grab his guitar, Joel lets you take his free hand to lead him inside. And before he’s through the threshold, he’s glancing back at Tommy with a grin. He’s proud of himself, and his brother is glad to see it.

Inside your home, that same guitar finds a place against the wall of your entryway, both of those strong hands returning to your hips. And when the wind is shut away by the door’s sturdy frame, there’s finally room for warmth inside your home.

Joel’s lips barely find time to leave your own, and when they do, it’s only for a breath. His kisses aren’t necessarily hurried but are merely passionate, sensual. And you return them with fervor, with small smiles and kitten licks over his lower lip.

“Mm…” It’s a deep groan, one you’ve never heard from him before. He liked your small lick.

It’s then that the wetness of his tongue finds your own, moaning into your throat when your hands rise to cup his face yet again. And the deeper your kisses get, the more his hands seem to tremble, the quicker his breaths have been.

“Joel,” Exhaling a small laugh, your palms lower to cover his quivering hands. “It’s okay…”

Gulping down your nerves, you hold his gaze, running his hands down your hips, around your lower back… all the way down to the space he hasn’t been able to stop staring at.

Innocently, his expression changes, lips parting and brows turning up in the center. With his fingers on your backside, you finally let go, your own petting at the scruff along his chin. His excitement almost dulls his reaction, unsure of what to do next. But your pretty smile prompts his adrenaline to rush through his limbs all over again.

“Fuck,” Crashing his lips to your own, he grabs you in hand, your small mewl nurturing his confidence.

Pressing you into the wall, he massages your backside, feeling the softness of it for the first time. Helplessly, he rubs himself against you, leaning and grinding into your hip. And the way he moans from the subtle contact is so beautiful, so light and airy as it travels into your mouth. He’s reveling in this energy, in the attraction you have for one another and the way you connect.

“What do you wanna do?”

“Hm?” Furrowing your brows, you lean back to look at him, but he doesn’t let you. His mouth is too determined, his sloppy kisses making you feel light-headed.

“You wanna make a decision now, or later?” He rasps out against you, his scruff scratching along your cheeks.

“About…”

“I want you to be mine.” With that emphasized word, his fingers twitch, fisting your ass.

“Really? I mean, are you, are you sure?”

“Hell yes I’m sure.”

“Why don’t we… go upstairs first.”

Staring down at you, his brow creases in confusion. “Why?”

Shrugging, you smirk, nibbling on the corner of your lip. “Think my sink’s broken again.” Slipping to the side, you talk his hand, leading him over to the steps. And Joel gives you an amused smirk, that look fading to gentle shock when you finish with, “I’m all wet again.”

“Cheesy fuckin’ line,” He drawls from behind you, putting his hands on your waist when you get to your bedroom.

Spinning around in his arms, you grin, “Made you smile, though.”

“That, it did.” With his hands lifting to your face, he brings you in, walking you back toward your bed.

Awkwardly, you reach out behind to feel for the sheets, quickly bumping into them. But while you’re fumbling around dumbly on your bed, Joel’s moving with a sense of coolness you’ve yet to see from him. He’s climbing over you, pushing you back into the blankets while he moves down to your neck. It’s like he can’t keep himself from you, wants to be pressed up against you.

“Oh, baby,”

“Joel,” Quietly, you whine, feeling his lips suck on the sensitive skin of your neck.

“Hm?” He mumbles against you, mouth unmoving. One of his hands travels up the expanse of your stomach, stopping just beneath your breasts. And again, he’s shaking, trying to calm himself from the excitement of this.

Sighing out excitedly, you smirk, eager to bring your thoughts to life. “You wanna take my shirt off, baby?”

“Oh…” Dropping his forehead to your shoulder, he groans, both sets of fingers finding the hem of your shirt. “Baby.”

Arching your back for him makes it easy, and it just as easily steals his breath. Dropping your shirt onto the floor, his eyes are immediately on your chest. But yours, are on him. His face is priceless, he might as well be drooling. And everything about this moment, about him, is making you feel so fucking sexy.

“I’ve been waitin’ for this…” He sighs, shaking his head.

“You want me to be yours, Joel?” And just saying it lights a fire in your belly.

With a sure face, he nods, eyes returning to your own. “Yeah, honey. I do.”

“Then show me how good it feels.”

“Fuck.” That’s all the permission he needs.

Diving down, he shoves his face into the softness of your breasts, still covered by your bra but he honestly couldn’t care less. This is the most he’s ever seen of you and goddammit he’s already so embarrassingly close to losing his shit.

“Joel,” Your fingers card through his graying hair, cradling his head while he starts to suck on your chest.

He bites into your flesh, groaning while he does it. And his hands are lifting to cup you, too, fingers kneading you through the material of your bra. He almost can’t stand it, being so close to you. Desperately, he wants to ask for more. But he worries more about pressuring you.

Shoving his thoughts away are the palms of your hands, landing on his shoulders and haphazardly pushing the material away. Without even thinking, he complies, thick fingers dipping down to undo the buttons on his front. And while he’s working on that, you work on yourself. Easily, you unclasp your bra, watching his eyes widen as it falls away.

“Jesus Christ,” Shucking off his shirt, he’s back on you in a matter of seconds, hot mouth covering your already pebbled nipple.

He revels in the way you moan for him, basking in the knowledge that he’s causing it. Now, his hands really do massage you, fingers pressing into your sweet flesh over and over again while his mouth continues to suck on it. And while you love the way he feels, his warm, strong hands fondling your chest, you also wish you’d had more time to admire him. He moved so fast after he took off his shirt that you barely had time to look at him, but you’re promising yourself that you’ll get that chance again.

Joel’s tongue rolls over your skin, stimulating your sensitive peaks while cupping your soft flesh in two muscular hands. And then he’s burying his face into you, shoving your breasts up against his cheeks. An amused smile forms alongside your sigh, fingers skimming through those pretty waves of hair. But then he does something unexpected, something that makes your insecurities bubble into your throat.

Moving downward, his dominant hand moves across your stomach and sides, dragging all the way down to your belly button. He caresses you gently as he goes, his fingers now toying with the hem of your pants.

Glancing up, he sucks in a deep breath, deep brown eyes meeting your own. “You tell me if it’s too much…” He whispers slowly, eyes dipping to your lips before they’re met with his.

Joel kisses the breath from your lungs, moaning as he presses himself to your lips. Moving with him, you shuffle your legs, spreading them as his fingers dip past the edge of your pants. Inside, your heart leaps from your chest, pounding against your rib cage when he finally touches your panties. His muscles twitch from it, breaths becoming shaky as he rubs you through them. It’s slow, firm, his fingers finding your most sensitive spots and grinning wildly when he does.

“Joel…”

“Can feel you throbbin’,” He huffs out against your lips, eyes still closed as he pulls your panties to the side. “You’re so wet…” It’s already all over his fingers, and he hasn’t even touched your bare sex yet.

You can feel it, the vulnerability creeping in. And although you still have the cover of your lower garments, you still feel extremely exposed to him. But it doesn’t matter, you know he won’t take advantage of it. He won’t take what isn’t his.

“You want this?” Joel nearly chokes out, his throat going dry. He’s stilled against you, fingers hovering above the place that needs him most.

Fingers curling into his hair, your chest rises with an inhale, exhaling a genuine, “Yes.”

Delicately, his middle finger glides through your opening, his head quick to drop down on your chest. Turning his head, Joel kisses your plump skin, sighing, and rubbing his digit across your wet skin.

“Feels so good…” He whispers over your body, suctioning his lips to the curve of your chest.

Inch by inch, he slides his middle digit in, all the way until it’s fully nestled inside you. A breath of relief is released in unison from the two of you, your hips shifting upward into his hand.

He’s thick inside you, far bigger than your own fingers. It fills your insides more than you’d originally thought, because of course you’ve thought about this.

It’s sloppy, the way he licks you, running his tongue along every inch of your chest, flicking the tip of it over your nipples while his finger retracts. With a languid pace, he pumps it into you, groaning when you tighten around him. He can only imagine how it would feel if it were really him, if it was the erection currently throbbing in his pants. And at just the right angles, his hand rubs over your clit, rolling the heel of it against the delicate pearl he so desperately wants to suck between his lips.

Your hands haven’t left his head, and now, they’re guiding him back to your lips. Happily, he lets you guide him, your mouths colliding while you shake beneath his body. And still, your tongue meets his, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him further in.

His moans, the way his facial hair scratches across your skin, the way he flexes above your body, makes you feel engulfed by him. He’s consuming you, touching every part of you that he can, reaching and pawing at the curves of your ass and chest, all while curling his finger against your most sensitive places. And then, he’s adding another, doubling the pressure of your sweetest sensation.

“Beautiful,” He mumbles, making his way down to your neck. “Sound so beautiful for me.”

“J-Joel, baby, I…”

You’re rotating your hips upward, reaching for the friction of his hand. And through it all, you’re clinging tightly to him, sighing pretty songs into his ear.

“You gonna do it for me, honey?” Kissing your ear, he groans. “Please do it for me…”

Already, you’re shivering from it, the euphoria he so easily brings to you. You weren’t sure what to expect when it came to this; you were maybe even a little worried. But so far, Joel is shoving aside any and all doubt. He clearly knows what he’s doing, and he isn’t afraid of showing that to you.

“Been dreamin’ about this since the first time I saw you, saw this gorgeous face…” Lifting his hand, he cups your jaw, the web between his thumb and forefinger settling beneath your chin. “I wanna please you, baby. Wanna feel all over your body…”

“Joel,” You’re tugging at his hair, mouth agape as you gasp.

He’s leaning into you as it happens, burying his face in the slope of your neck. It rolls through you, the pleasure of it growing gracefully. Eyes closing, your back arches against him, but Joel keeps you down. He continues shoving his fingers into you, feeling the way your fleshy walls cling to them. And he rubs you with the heel of his palm, too, all while pressing sloppy kisses to your neck.

Grunting against your skin, he feels you shiver, your limbs clinging to him. But he suddenly feels himself sadden, the more you begin to relax beneath him. He doesn’t want this moment to end.

“Baby, I…” He’s gasping, as if he was the one that just came. “I don’t…”

Lifting both hands to his cheeks, you bring him back to you, silencing his stutters. Your lips meet, the press of them sweet and passionate, searing. And the small whine that you breathe out against him makes his center pulse, finally sliding his fingers from your lips.

Before Joel can stop himself, he’s glancing down, staring at his wet digits. He watches his palm leave the luscious space between your thighs, enamored with everything about you and this moment. Licking his lower lip, he sighs. “Can, would it be, can I…”

Watching him stumble over his words is just so cute. He’s constantly flustered by you, he can’t believe he’s finally doing this with you, laying over your half-naked body and begging for more. Again, he wets his bottom lip, unable to form the right words. But thankfully, you do.

“You… want a taste?”

Instantly, he’s looking into your eyes, gulping heavily; your brazenness prompting a redness to rise to his neck and face. He hasn’t tasted a woman in years, far before the outbreak. But he’s thanking god you just offered it.

Joel’s gaze never leaves your own, his expression softening as he watches as you reach up, gently cupping his hand. Nibbling timidly on the corner of your lip, you push forward, guiding his fingers toward his own mouth. And he just sits there, watching, unable to take action in this erotically tender moment. But the second those two fingers are past his lips, his eyes are closing, an incredible groan rumbling in his chest.

“Hm…” Grinning, you lean in, kissing his cheek. “You’re so cute, baby.”

For a moment, he sucks on them, running his tongue along the length of his digits. Your taste is… sweet, sexually refreshing. He’s needed this, he needs you.

Shocking him out of this moment is your gentle touch on his jeans, fingertips moving delicately. With his free hand, he captures one of your own, shaking his head.

“W-What?” His action surprises you, embarasses you.

“You don’t have to do that, baby.” His voice is calm and kind, incredibly soothing as he cups your cheek while kissing the other. “This was about you.”

“Joel,” Grinning widely, you ring your arms around his neck, holding him. “Are you sure?”

“Baby,” He sighs, shimmying his hands between your back and the mattress so he can hold you tight. “I’m just so happy you let me do that.”

“Let me make you happier.” You insist, combing through his hair.

“It’s late, honey. Don’t worry about that, really.” Lifting his head, you witness the beauty of his face, of his graying stubble and dark brown eyes, his curved nose and the one dimple he has nestled in his cheek. “Maybe I’ll be lucky enough for you to offer that another day.”

Giggling, you shake your head at him. “Whenever you’re ready, baby.”

Joel then settles into you again, both of your bodies shifting as he moves to hold you from behind, just like he’s been wanting to. He’s not sure if you want him to stay much longer, and honestly, you aren’t either. Regardless, you kick off the rest of your clothes, wanting to feel the other’s skin. And after such a sexually intimate moment, it’s nice to have a tender one, too.

His chest tightens, eyes closing as he tries to steady his breaths. The last woman he ever held was Tess, and when she was in his life, he didn’t see any reasonable way another woman would replace her. Not when he depended on her so much throughout the outbreak. And during the outbreak, it seemed like the world would never change. This situation, right here and now, is something he never thought he’d get again. The last woman he held without the worry of clickers around was Sarah’s mom, and now, he can’t even count how many years ago that was. That thought alone reminds him of all the loss he has harbored inside him, all the people that he’s been forced to let go. But he can’t go through that again, he knows it would just kill him. And now that he’s been gifted the absolute angel of you, he’s hoping he’ll never have to deal with that kind of loss ever again.

While Joel’s emotional thoughts run laps in his head, he finds ease in the action of holding you, of feeling your calm breaths. You’re holding onto his arms as they sit wrapped around your midsection, resting back against him. And before you even realize it, your eyes are drifting shut, slumber easing your body further into the bed.

“Honey?” Joel whispers, wanting to catch you before drifting off to bed.

“Hm?” You return kindly, rubbing his forearm. Somehow, it feels like you’ve known him forever.

“Tommy, he uh…” Joel can smell your pretty hair, allowing the scent to help him relax. “He’s havin’ a bonfire tomorrow night.”

As soon as he says it, your belly tingles with excitement, waiting for him to ask you. Will he take that step with you? Now that you’re with him?

“Would you wanna come with me?”

He can barely finish his sentence before you’re releasing a giddy, “Yes.”

The last time he did something like this is when Tess brought him to have dinner with Frank and Bill. He doesn’t normally do things like this, casual socializing. It helps that it’s his brother, though. And that Ellie won’t be attending. He loves her more than he can even find words for, but tonight is a couple’s event. He doesn’t want to worry about her sass.

Joel is met with his proper appearance when gazing into the mirror, a deep breath exhaled slowly as he thinks. He’s wearing Frank’s flannel again, something physically and mentally comforting. His hair has been combed, his facial hair trimmed and brushed. He’d even gone into town to buy a new cologne for you. Something to accentuate the smell you already love.

Amidst his nerves, Joel feels excitement. He doesn’t care if he’d laid with you in your bed only last night, he misses you. Being apart made him long for your touch, for your sweet smile and kind voice. And he’d been feeling this way for hours, ever since he left your house. After you’d fallen asleep, Joel took it upon himself to gather his things. He didn’t want to move too quickly or pressure you. In the midst of him leaving, you awoke, small tears in your eyes until he’d explained his reasoning. And it was something you respected.

Surprisingly, you come to him. Knocking on his door, you bounce giddily on your heels, waiting for him to answer. You’re thrilled to be able to introduce yourselves as a couple for the first time. You’ll also be able to meet Maria for the first time, too. And usually, you’d be nervous for something like this. But with Joel involved, you’re blinded by happiness.

“Look at you,” He grins, stepping out onto the porch. Quickly, he realizes that your outfits are matching. You’re wearing a pair of jeans, tight jeans, and a red sweater that compliments the red tones in his flannel.

“Is this okay?” Unable to help yourself, you step closer to him, hands sliding up to his neck.

“You look gorgeous, sweetheart.” He grins against your cheek, pressing his lips to you. “Never seen so much makeup on you.”

“Is it too much?” A nude shade colors your lips, concealer hiding any potential flaws with a modest amount of eyeliner and mascara accentuating the features of your eyes.

“Didn’t I just use the word gorgeous?”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh, feigning annoyance through another kiss to your cheek. “You ready, honey?”

Intertwining your fingers with his, you nod, letting him lead you down the street. And while walking, he does his best not to outwardly oggle you. He knows that as soon as he’s able to, he’s going to get a good look at those pants. They look like the ones you’d been moving in, the ones that immediately caught his attention. The way they hug your hips makes his insides stir, the creases between your crotch and thighs making his body heat rise.

Even through your chilly walk, Joel’s insides run hot. And as soon as you’re at Tommy and Maria’s door, he lets you walk in first, granting him that view he’d been searching for.

“My eyes are up here.”

Snapping his gaze upward, he meets his brother’s shit-eating grin, slapping his palm against his.

“Shut it.” He grumbles, accepting his quick embrace.

“How’s it goin’ with her?” He inquires quietly, closing the door behind Joel.

“Good,” Joel grins, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Real good.”

“So, uh…” Glancing over his shoulder, he watches Maria lead you further into the house. “What happened last night?”

“What do you mean?” Joel chuckles, “You saw what happened.”

“Nah, after you two went inside.”

“Went pretty well,” Glancing down, he grins. “Went upstairs, and… now we’re here.”

Tommy eyes him, raising a brow. “Not gonna spill any details, huh?”

Grinning, Joel looks further behind his brother, shrugging.“Those jeans serve her right.”And it’s those very jeans he’s eyeing right now.

Almost instantly, Maria led you inside, thrilled to meet you and show you around their home. She brings you to the kitchen, showing you the food she’d prepared and where to find the drinks. She also shows you the bathroom, insisting you tell her if there’s anything you need.

It’s easy to admire the home you’re currently walking through, Tommy and Maria have put so much love into it. Pictures of their journey as a couple hang on the surrounding walls, pieces of the life they built displayed proudly. It’s cozy here, too, throw blankets adorning the couch and loveseat, a candle lit on their coffee table as a minimalist centerpiece. It has a very specific charm to it, something akin to a ranch. And you figure, you might as well be living on one.

“So, I never really took Joel for a singer.” Maria smirks, sipping from her cup.

You can’t even hide the grin growing on your face. “Honestly, neither did I. I didn’t even know he played the guitar.”

Chuckling, she crosses her arms, thinking to herself for a minute. “From what I heard, Joel was a pretty mean man before Ellie came around. And now, seems like you’ve softened him even more.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t seem so mean anymore.” Turning, you watch the two men pass by the kitchen, making their way to the backyard. But before walking out, Joel reaches for you, giving your hand a brief and gentle squeeze.

When he’s gone, you sigh, feeling all fuzzy inside. “He can be so sweet.”

“He seems it.” And she never anticipated that before you came along. “Tommy’s the same way.”

“Really?”

“Sure,” Shrugging, she nibbles on the corner of her lip. “He’s… giving.”

“Giving?”

“Yeah, well, you know we’re on our second kid, right?” Laughing, she raises a brow, reaching for her glass again.

Oh, you think to yourself. Oh.

“But I don’t expect you to know about that, not from Joel.”

“What? Why not?”

“I mean, you’re only just now together. Unless… you’ve already seen him like that?” Holding her cup with both hands, she grins, just barely tilting her head.

Glancing out the side door, you take a look at the guys, currently gathering some of Tommy’s firewood. Joel has rolled up his sleeves, the muscles in his forearms twisting and turning. And when he leans down, you can see his flannel stretch across the broadness of his back. Altogether, the sight makes you sigh, wondering what he’s really like in bed.

“Maaaybe.”

“Really?! Holy shit, you have to tell me. I’d love to know what that grump of a man is like in bed.”

“What?!” Busting out a laugh, your face twists slightly in confusion. “Why the hell would you want to know?”

Shrugging, she replies, “Honestly, I just never thought I’d see him with a woman, not like this.”

“Well, I guess they’re more alike than we thought.” You return with a sassy grin, her brows now raising sky-high.

“And that means?” She prods further, loving the girl talk she’s constantly deprived of. Even though Maria wasn’t all that girly, talking with another woman has been surprisingly refreshing.

Thinking back to the beginning of your conversation, you settle for answering with, “He’s pretty giving.”

“Hey, honey.” Joel grins, turning toward the sliding door.

The two of you walk out into the nighttime air, greeted by the warmth of your partner’s smiles and the fire they’ve built. And as soon as Maria is in her seat, she’s smiling, huffing out an amused chuckle.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Joel this excited about a woman.”

Reaching for her hand, Tommy sighs, a happy sound. “Yeah… think I can second that.”

Their comments make you blush, fidgeting slightly in your stance. Averting their gaze, you inhale a breath, feeling like a lovestruck little girl. And when Joel sees your nerves bubbling to the surface, he reaches over, hands securing to your hips. Immediately, your eyes widen, feet shuffling to the side as he pulls you over to him. Spreading his legs slightly, he guides you backwards between them, pulling you gently into his lap.

“I guess you’re special, huh?” He hums, kissing your cheek, those strong hands tightening on your hips. And Tommy and Maria are just shocked to see him like this.

Even though you’re only with two other people, you’re flushing like a fool. No one has ever been so openly affectionate toward you. And it seems like Joel couldn’t care less about being so visibly loving. But in his head, this is solid, it’s defined and real. You’re finally his.

“Tommy, been meanin’ to ask you,” He then says, his facial hair gently rubbing along your neck. “Her bedroom window needs some better insulation. Been far too cold up there, think we could get to fixin’ that?”

Turning, you eye him, grinning. You’d never mentioned that before.

“Sure, we have some materials in town. Has it been causing any serious problems? Has the heat been working fine?”

“Yeah, heat’s been fine. Furnace is doing its job for the time being.”

Truthfully, this conversation is baffling you. How the hell does Joel know all of this about your home? Has he really been paying such close attention? He did help fix it up, after all. But to focus on such minute details? Maybe he really has cared for you since you met.

“How do you know about all of that?” Whispering, you turn in his lap, only deciding to ask when Tommy and Maria have left.

He shrugs. “Felt a draft.”

“And my furnace?”

“Wanted to make sure you were livin’ okay.” That sweet smirk then forms on his face, his dimple shining through. “Don’t need you freezing.”

“Hm…” Humming, you shift on his lap, sitting over his left thigh. “You’re pretty cute, baby.” Reaching up, you cup his chin, grinning. But then, your smile drops, and quickly.

For just a second, Joel adjusts in his chair, grunting a bit. Eyes widening, you gulp, a certain fear brewing in your mind. Am I too heavy to be sitting on his lap?

“I-I can move.”

“Huh?”

“I can sit in a chair, if you want.” Nibbling on your lower lip, you sigh, trying to steady your breath.

“Now why would you do that?” He asks, nuzzling his chin into your shoulder and neck. And while Tommy went to get more wood, and Maria chose to retrieve a few drinks, Joel’s already feeling warm and dizzy just from your presence.

“I just, I don’t want to hurt you…” When he lifts his head again, he frowns, clearly still confused. “I mean, you… adjusted.”

At this, Joel releases an amused hum. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” He mumbles to you in that deep voice, his hands smoothing over the fronts of your thighs. “Just getting comfy, is all… I love havin’ you on my lap.”

His affection is dizzying, your face burning hot all over again. Seeing Joel’s more forward side is making your insides turn to mush. This older man holding you, touching you… kissing you like he’d been in need of it while fingering your quivering cunt. The recent memory has you inhaling a shaky breath, muscles tightening above him.

“And you know what?” He then asks, and you turn your head to the side, inquiring a small, hm? “Feels good, too.”

You’re gone, you’re fucking done for. The organ inside your chest is nearly breaking free, your lungs trying to steady themselves desperately. And while you’re trying to keep your composure, Joel sighs, both hands still rubbing your thighs.

“Feels good to have you snuggled on my lap.” Easily, his fingertips pick up on the clench of your thighs, certain that the space between them is growing wet.

“Just let me know if I’m bein’ too forward, honey.” He tells you sweetly, but you immediately shake your head. “No?” He asks, almost teasingly, but wanting to read you right.

“No.” You whisper in response, the word airy and expressing your anxious excitement. “I like it.”

And hearing you say that lights a fucking fire inside him. Instantly, he’s returning to last night, to when he had his fingers knuckle-deep inside you. He’d wished so desperately that it was him, he’s gotten off so many times to the image of it. Of him finally fucking you. Slipping between your legs and stuffing you full, grabbing onto the softness of your thighs, your hips, repeatedly pulling you into him. And if he had an ounce of decency left in him, he’d be embarrassed by how rapidly he’s growing just beneath your ass. But he doesn’t, he’s not a decent man.

“Well, then I might as well tell you…” Leaning in, he kisses your cheek again, whispering, “I love feelin’ your soft ass against me.” And that’s when his hands slide back toward your hips, gently squeezing the meat of your outer thighs.

“Hm,” He groans, giving his head a quick shake. “You really do get to me…”

“Baby,” You giggle, glancing up to make sure no one’s on their way back.

“Did you like last night? Hm?” Now, he’s really grabbing hold of your thighs, releasing a harsh breath against your neck.

“Yes,” You don’t mean for it to come out like that, high and airy, almost a whimper. But it does, and it kills him.

“All those pretty sounds… shit, I need ‘em again.”

“I want it again.” Nodding, you swallow, leaning back against him.

Before either of you know it, Maria and Tommy are back again and settling into their seats. Turns out Tommy decided to skip out on more wood, and Maria is claiming these will be their last round of drinks for the night.

“Babysitter’s been calling, updating us on the baby. We hadn’t realized it’d gotten so late.” Tommy says with a sigh, tipping back his bottle.

“That’s alright,” Joel’s gruff voice answers, giving your outer thigh a small tap. “We understand.”

Briefly, he thinks about what it’d be like to have another kid. It’s wishful thinking, obviously; he’s getting ahead of himself. But what’s the harm in daydreaming? Maybe if he had another girl, he’d give their middle name to Sarah.

“It’s been really nice having the two of you over.” Maria comments, offering a kind grin. Getsuring between her and her husband, she explains, “We don’t get many visitors.”

“We’d love to come over more often.” Joel returns, almost immediately. “Right, honey?” He then inquires genuinely.

“Yeah,” Nodding, your insides tighten with emotion, already feeling so familiar with him. “I’ve really loved this.”

Friends weren’t something you’ve had in multitude throughout your life, let alone family. Maybe you could really grow with these people, make a real life in this town. Something calm and quiet, peaceful. Maybe you and Joel will settle down.

These sweet thoughts continue to form on your way home, Joel’s hand securing to your own the entire way. The snow has died down, although not completely. Small stars of frost collect along your hair, even your lashes, too. And glancing down, Joel thinks it’s the prettiest he’s ever seen you.

“Would you maybe want to come in?” You ask him, staring up at him with so much kindness. He’d expected the invitation, but that doesn't mean he wasn’t still overjoyed to receive it.

Stepping inside with a shiver, the two of you shove off your coats while stomping the snow off of your boots. And now that you think of it, Joel’s right, there is a small draft. Maybe he’ll be able to warm you up tonight. You hope he sleeps here this time.

“We can go upstairs?” You then offer, turning and holding both of his hands. “I can wash up and then maybe we can talk?”

Talk? Immediately, his thoughts swirl with worry. Oh god, what did I do wrong? Was I too much back at Tommy’s?

Swallowing nervously, Joel simply nods. “Okay.”

Becoming comfortable with your home, he finds himself sitting on your bed while he waits. He’d been here only last night, after all. Just across the hall, he can hear you freshening up, washing the makeup from your face. And then there’s the soft sound of clothes, likely you changing into something more comfortable.

“Is, um… is everything okay?” Once you’re in the bedroom, he can’t help himself. He’s brewing with anxiety, brows folded almost innocently.

And all you can do is sigh, stepping closer to him. He’s sitting on the side of your mattress, legs slightly spread. And you step between them, reaching out to cup his handsome face.

Quietly, you admit, “I haven’t been this happy in so long.”

Pulling him in for a tender kiss, he breathes out his relief, heart soaring from your admission. “Baby,” He sighs in that deep southern voice.

“Sit back on the bed,” You gently instruct, grinning from his already rapid breaths.

He does as you say, shuffling back until he’s against your headboard. Watching you with eager eyes, he sees you climb up, crawling toward his lap. And if this kind of scene didn’t get him going, he doesn’t know what will.

“Is this okay?” Your voice is sweet, alluring, dripping from your mouth like tasty honey as you settle directly over him. “You said you liked it before…” Shrugging, you offer a flirtatious smile. And lord, is he loving this side of you.

“Yes,” Nodding, he leans up to find your lips again. “Yes.”

With both hands on his face, your kisses deepen, fully leaning into each other. And you can practically feel Joel’s fingertips shaking on your hips, trying to not dig in or wander; even though he’d done so much more less than a day ago. Smiling against his mouth, your hands leave his face, falling to the tops of his.

Sliding his hands further down, he groans into your mouth, feeling you guide him to the ethereal softness you have. Immediately, he’s grabbing you, pawing at you with both hands.

“Fuck me,” He mumbles against your mouth, voice guttural and deep.

Rolling your hips forward, his lungs stutter in his chest, feeling you drag your covered sex directly over his lap. Grinning, you take advantage of his flustered state, fully grinding down on him. And when he gathers himself, he encourages you, shoving your hips forward with every roll, fisting your ass in his hands and moaning openly when you push back against the broadness of them. And still, your tongue slides against his, tasting him, mouthing at him, doing everything you can with him.

“You wanna see me again, baby? Huh?” Teasingly, you speak to him, whispering sweetly against his lips.

“Oh, yes; god yes, please - please.”

Easily, you lift your shirt from your midsection, revealing to him your lack of undergarments. Your breasts fall before his face, those brown eyes completely ogling you. Before he even gathers the decency to ask, he’s leaning in to suck on them. But that’s alright, more than alright; you would’ve said yes.

“Joel,” Fiddling with the collar of his shirt, you sigh. “Can you take yours off?” He’s sucking on your nipple, pulling at it with his lips. “Can I take your shirt off, baby?”

“Yes - yeah, baby.” Nodding, he stares up at you in awe, licking languidly over your chest while holding your eye contact.

Lips parting, and now forming a timid smirk, your fingers fall to the line of buttons keeping him from you. He grins when you do it, opening his shirt with hurried fingers and then shoving it off his shoulders. And now, you see him, his broad chest and softening stomach, the few hairs he has, including the little trail leading down to his pelvis.

“C’mon,” He grunts, grabbing onto your hips. “Don’t stop now.”

Giggling, you return to him, cupping his face as you bring yourself in. And you expect to stay like this, rubbing yourself over his lap again and again, but Joel changes your positioning. Rolling over with a huff, he lays you onto your back, his pelvis nestled between your legs. At this point, he’s so turned on he feels like he can’t even breathe, his one hand continuing to grab your sweet thighs while the other keeps him above you. And his mouth hasn’t left, either, repeatedly meeting your lips, sliding his tongue inside so he can taste your spit.

You feel like you’re somewhere else, no longer plagued with your everyday burdens in a post-apocalyptic world. Because right now, it’s him, it’s all him. His body, his face, his breath and his moans, the way he touches you, the way he smells.

“Joel,” Moaning quietly, your fingers once again find his graying hair, curling into the strands ever so slightly. “Baby…”

But you’re not calling for his attention, he knows it. You’re only saying his name, reminding yourself that this is the man you’ve grown to trust. And you finally feel safe with someone like this.

And now, his hands are falling to your hips, fingers hooking into the hem of your pants. He can feel himself getting carried away, adrenaline rushing through his veins, his breaths erratic and ragged. And his next move makes your own breaths nonexistent.

Lowering himself alongside your pants, he begins to kiss every inch of exposed flesh he sees. His lips find the insides of your thighs, his arousal prompting his confidence to shoot higher than he can even believe. And he intends to continue, until you inch away from him.

Immediately, he’s lifting himself, those baby browns full of concern and worry. “Are you okay?” He asks, stopping every one of his motions. “Is, is this alright? Did I go too far?”

“No! No, I… I just…” Sliding your feet along the bed, you lift your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them as you sigh. This isn’t new to you, and it’s not really new to him, either. He’s seen this side of you. “I… don’t like how I look, Joel.”

Gulping, he frowns, a concerned crease in his forehead. He makes sure not to move, though, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. But honestly, he doesn't know what to say. Even though he’s seen this side of you before, it still surprises him.

“I know you’ve said you do, but… I just don’t. And most men don’t, either.”

“Baby,” Sliding further up the bed, he moves himself to your side to put you at ease. “You’re so beautiful, you’re so beautiful.”

You feel embarrassed by these emotions, and honestly, you expected him to be sick of them by now. Nobody wants to hear someone complain, especially about their own body. You thought this all would have turned him away, or at least turned him off. But it doesn’t seem that way.

“The second I saw you, I…” His eyes trail over you, a gentle shake moving his head. “I felt like I couldn’t help myself.”

Pouting in thought, you wonder aloud, “What do you mean?”

“Honey,” He sighs, almost dramatically. “You’re… so fucking sexy.”

Of all things, those were the last words you expected to hear. But then he keeps going.

“All I wanted to do was touch you, grab your thighs and feel how soft you were. And you are, you’re so soft, baby. You know how hard it was for me to keep my hands to myself tonight? Feelin’ your sweet ass snuggling my lap? Every little move you made rubbing against me?”

It’s starting to make you grin, his words and overt expressions. And the more he talks, the more expressive he seems to become, leaning in to place his warm hand on your thigh.

“Even after you said no to me, I kept comin’ back. You know why? Because you’re gorgeous, sweetheart. You’re so pretty, you’re so curvy, and you look so good to me.”

“Really?”

“I want you to see yourself that way, too.” Joel continues, eyes glazing over your body. He’s passionate about this, about you. “It breaks my heart to know you don’t. But I need you to know that I do, I like how you look, baby. I fucking love how you look. Your body isn’t something I’m just okay with or wish would change. I love it.”

With your emotions completely rising to the surface, you reach for him, bringing him to you once again. And he fully leans into it, pressing his lips to yours with something between a whine and a moan.

“I want you, honey. But if this is too much for you, we don’t have to do this. Not tonight, not until you’re comfortable.”

“No,” Shaking your head against him, you lean in, pressing your forehead to his. “I want it.”

Easily, he slides back between your thighs, hovering above you. Both broad hands find your thicker thighs, fingertips rubbing your soft skin as he sighs. And just like before, he moves himself down, gently dragging his lips over you.

“So sweet,” He mumbles, pressing a timid kiss to your inner thigh. It’s an experimental act, he’s waiting to see what you’ll do. Moaning softly, you grin, spreading your legs a bit wider for him. “So soft…”

Joel sees the cellulite on your legs, his fingers pressing harder into your skin and watching the dimples further indent. And he loves it, he loves your squishy-soft thighs. Letting himself go, he begins to explore, lips and teeth sucking on your smooth skin. But he doesn’t stop there, he makes sure to pepper all your insecurities with his loving nibbles. And before he knows it, he’s leaving splotchy marks on your body, groaning while he soothes the sting with tender little licks. He’s worshiping your body, the curves you’ve been so insecure of in the past. Because it’s almost in the past; he’s changing the way you see your body.

“Oh, baby,” Joel’s voice is muffled, that deep southern tone making you tingle inside. “Please let me taste you.”

With almost embarrassingly quick movements, you lift your legs, encasing him between them. The soles of your feet rest on the comforter above your bed, settling on either side of Joel’s midsection.

“Yes,” Already reaching for his hair, you whine, feeling the heat from his breath fan over your most sensitive space.

And even though you’re still covered, he kisses you, your very center, over the thin fabric of your panties. It makes you shiver, inhaling a sharp breath when he finally pulls them to the side.

“Oh,” He groans, face going slack at the sight of your bare skin right in front of him. “Fuck me.”

Leaning in, he kisses you again, feeling your body jerk beneath his hands. Securing them to your hips, he sighs, sliding his tongue up through your lips.

“J-Joel,”

His response comes as a short grunt, pressing himself further against you. He licks into you, slowly, deeply, his eyes fluttering shut as he tastes you once again. The facial hair along his cheeks and jawline tickles your skin, rubbing against you as he lifts himself to your clit. Inhaling sharply, you reach for his hair, feeling him suck your reddened nub between his lips.

Leaning forward, Joel wraps his arms around your hips, holding you against him. Passionately, he mouths at you, feeling your pelvis roll up in time with his licks. And he loves the way you’re pulling on his hair, the subtle sting exciting him. Moaning into you, he feels his chest tighten, his lungs stuttering as he continues to indulge in you. He’s licking repeatedly past your folds and returning every few seconds to lave his tongue over your clit, reveling in the way you shake for him. And he’s so fucking hard that it hurts, sliding his hands to the side of your waist, lowering down to the pretty little divots in your hips, holding them just like he’s always wanted to.

“Baby, baby,” He’s gasping, mouthing at you and sucking on your clit. “Oh, I love this. You’re so sexy like this.”

“That’s so good,” Rolling your hips up, you tighten your hold on his hair, eyes pinching shut as you finally experience this with him. “That feels so good…”

“You’re so sweet, baby. Such a sweet girl…” You can feel his hot breath, his stubble rubbing roughly against your thighs. “I want you to be mine.” It’s expressed in one long, heated sigh. And even though he’s sure that’s what this is, he’s sure you’re already his. He wants you to say it again.

“Baby,”

“Will you?” He pleads, right hand reaching down to squeeze your backside. “Please. Oh, please.”

“Joel… yes, baby.”

“Yeah?” He asks, and he wants to slide a finger into you so badly. But baby steps, he tells himself.

“Yes!”

You feel so incredibly close to him, how could you not with his face buried between your thighs? The way he sucks on you makes your head spin, your chest heaving from it. With your back arching, you feel yourself begin to unravel beneath him, your thighs shaking around his head.

“B-Baby, baby… yes.” Gasping, you cling to him, feeling his arms secure on their hold around you.

He’s so strong, fully capable of holding you down while you cum in his mouth. And he can feel it, the hot rush of it washing over his tongue, the sweetly tangy taste of you fucking consuming him.

“Jesus,” He’s grinding down into the bed, grunting from the barrier of his jeans still restricting him.

Turning his head, Joel licks you clean, running his tongue all along your inner thighs. And it’s overkill, but it’s sexy as hell.

“Baby,” Giggling, your body jerks beneath his touch, feeling sensitive.

“Honey, can I?” He’s then begging, whining against your leg.

“You wanna fuck me?”

Head shooting up, he nods it at you. “Please.”

He doesn’t waste any time; as soon as you say it, he’s shuffling back off the bed to stand. Hurriedly, he undoes his belt, popping the button on his jeans before pulling down his fly. Watching intently, you see his pants drag down, collectively pulling his boxers away from his body.

The first thing you notice is his hair; he isn’t trimmed too neatly, but isn’t exactly bushy. And your mouth waters from the sight of it. He’s hanging heavy and uncut between his legs, his shaft glistening from the slow drip of his prespend.

“Baby…” You intend to sit up, already reaching out for him, but Joel’s body presses you back into the bed.

“Honey,” He moans, voice muffled from the way he shoves his face into your neck. Easily, he’s back between your legs, one hand lowering to hold himself above your sex. “You want me, huh? Want me inside you?”

“Yes, baby.” Naturally, your arms lift, clinging to him. “Please.”

He rubs the tip of himself over your still wet center, chuckling briefly from the sensation of it. The head of his dick taps against your clit, forcing your body to jerk and shiver.

“Calm down for me,” He coos, that beautiful voice deep and gravely as he speaks to you. “Just relax while I slide in…”

“Joel,” Heartbeat pounding in your ears, you gasp, feeling the subtle pressure of him.

The grunt you receive in response is deafening, the boom of it echoing in your ear. It’s animalistic, the sounds coming from him as he continues through your center, feeling your warmth envelope him. He’s stretching you, the pain insignificant compared to the ethereal view of him. He’s sweating, a light sheen covering his skin. And when his pelvis meets your own, you release a heavy breath. He’s here, he’s in your bed. Joel is naked in your fucking bed and sliding between your thighs with the most restraint he’s ever had.

“Jesus Christ,”

“Fuck,” Tossing your head back, your lips part, walls throbbing around him.

“I don’t, wow.”

“What?” You giggle, fingers petting at his soft curls .

“You… just feel so fucking good.”

“Then move,” You tease, turning to kiss his cheek. “I wanna feel you, baby.”

Your soft words make his eyes roll back, a soft groan spilling from his lips. And still, he does what you say, slowly retracting his hips. The forward motion of him diving back in is even better than the first, somehow prodding deeper into your center. Your legs lifting to his sides is what does it for him, feeling your body encase him, pulling him closer, deeper.

“Baby,” Grunting, he rolls himself against you, thrusting harder with every motion he gives. “Sweetheart.”

Lifting your hips, you sigh, feeling the firm drag of him along your walls, his erection weighing heavy inside your sex. And every harsh rut prompts a subtle rub over your reddened clit, his pelvis brushing over your own as your bodies move together in unison.

“I don’t think, ugh, fuck.” Lowering his hand, he grabs onto your left hip, pressing you down. He uses this as leverage, fucking into you harder, faster, teeth coming out to bite at your neck. “I’m not gonna last, honey. Not like this.”

“I don’t care,” Your voice is light and airy, fingers tugging on his dark brown hair, every part of you pulling him in. “Fuck, I love it. I love it, baby. I love the way you feel.”

“God, you’re mine. You beautiful fuckin’ thing.” He’s almost begun to ramble, his words quick and pace quicker. “Gorgeous girl, young little girl.”

“Hm, you like that, baby?”

“Oh, do I.”

You chuckle at his wording, gasping shortly thereafter when his tip punches against your sensitive inner flesh.

“Yeah?” He teases, fingernails digging into your skin. “Right there?”

“Fuck, harder. Please.”

Shoving his face into the slope of your shoulder and neck, he does just that, thrusting into you without abandon, the sound of skin slapping on skin ringing throughout your empty home. His sweat drips over you, his humid breaths washing over your neck. He can feel the scrape of your nails down his back, the strength of your legs pulling him in.

“W-Where?” He then asks, desperation lacing his tone. “Where, baby?”

“Pull out, please pull out.” You’d love to see him paint you.

As soon as you say it, he’s leaning back, pulling himself from your warm and welcoming walls. Joel’s dominant hand then comes down, fervently jerking his shaft over your lower tummy. Lifting your head, you watch with eager eyes, still gasping from the feeling of him.

“Ngh,” Shaking, he grunts above you, spurts of his spend littering your skin.

It comes out in ropes, the hot gooiness of it dripping over your belly. He reaches for your knee with his spare hand, gripping it harshly. Shaking slightly, he breathes through his orgasm, eyes glued to where he’s just came.

“Honey,” Comes that ragged voice, the word spoken through a sigh.

“I’m here, baby.” It comes out with more emotion than you’d meant it to, but you don’t regret it.

Instantly, he’s meeting your eyes, leaning all the way down for a sweet kiss.

“I want you.” He expresses wholeheartedly, arching his back so he doesn’t rub himself into his own cum.

“You have me.” You coo sweetly in return, reveling the feeling of his body heat.

“Wanna keep you.” Turning his head, Joel kisses along your shoulder and neck.

“I’m yours, Joel. I promise.” And you’d do anything to keep him. “Will you stay? Tonight?”

Releasing a heavy breath, he grins, the gorgeous expression evident against your skin. “Of course, honey. Of course I’ll stay, stay as long as you let me.”

#Joel Miller #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x curvy reader #Joel Miller smut #Joel Miller tlos #The Last of Us #The Last of Us fanfiction

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nyanekokami · 3 months

Text

Lithium.

Featuring. Kanata Yatonokami x Fem! Reader.

"Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show Never wanted it to be so cold."

Tags: angst, with some comfort. Delves into a bit of darker themes, like thoughts of disappearing and self loathing, so watch out if that's something that triggers you.

Out in the night, the decadent city is painted in ominous twisted lines.

A blue period held in between noisy train tracks and overflowing dumpsters.

Any other time, you would have deemed the scene beautiful.

Now, however, it’s just depressing.

Perhaps it’s because your teary eyes can’t focus on any silver lining amidst the dark forest; right now, there is no clearing illuminated by moonlight, just wolves howling beneath the stygian sky, their hunger festering with every passing second.

And you are their prey.

Your knuckles match the eerie light from outside when you grip the windowsill.

You messed up again.

And you can’t find it in your weak beating heart to forgive yourself for it.

You don’t deserve it, you don’t deserve anything.

Or anyone.

Since all you seem to do is hurt them.

Sunshine. That’s what you had been referred to more than once.

But, alas, it was only pleasant when it warmed one's back.

Looking at it directly was a lethal inferno.

And so were you.

Only meant to be kept at a distance from everything.

From everyone.

Your fingertips momentarily touch the foggy window glass.

Snow has started falling.

A cruel and ephemeral sight, for you know there would be nothing left of it once the sun shined upon it.

Meant to destroy, to cause despair everywhere you went.

That was you.

You really want to disappear.

Maybe you should.

No one would miss you if you did.

Maybe him at first. But eventually he’d forget you, a watered down memory of light and time.

The front door of his apartment had never felt so heavy when you turn the doorknob.

You wish it hadn’t been so noisy.

Your boyfriend’s younger twin looks at you through bleary eyes, hair sticking out in all directions.

Your heart breaks a little at his confused expression.

A crooked smile held by sheer willpower tilts your lips.

“I’m going out, Nayuta. If Kanata asks, tell him not to come looking for me.”

With that, you get separated from the small space you had come to call your home, the heavy slam of an iron door putting an end to your life here.

You don’t really have anywhere to go now.

Nor do you want to go anywhere for that matter.

You guess you’ll just wander around until you freeze or fall asleep, one of the two.

You didn’t even bother to grab your scarf or coat. What would have been the point, anyway?

You look up at the sky.

Black clouds beckon you deeper into the slum’s back alleys.

—

For the second time tonight, Nayuta is roused from his sleep.

Not that he really was sleeping since you left.

More like tossing and turning, a sting in his heart freezing him to the core at your words.

“Tell him not to come looking for me.”

In Nayuta's nightmares, Kanata cried.

And you were gone.

“Nayuta, I’m back.” His older twin greets.

To the aforementioned's surprise, Nayuta actually gets up today, running to him.

“Nayuta, is there anything wrong?” Kanata asks, checking his brother for injuries, as he holds him by the shoulders.

“I’m fine. But [Y/n] went out. She said not to go looking for her.”

That’s all Kanata needs to hear before the front door clatters open and closed again.

—

You are starting to feel weary. You’ve walked these streets with Kanata before and yet, right now it all feels like a frosted labyrinth.

You don’t have it in you to care.

You can’t hold on anymore. You can’t keep going.

Your feet feel numb with cold and you cannot move your hands.

Maybe this is finally your sweet release.

The cold hard floor feels like an oasis, finally somewhere to stop and let yourself adrift to the fates of tonight.

You just hope you’ll be gone before the dawn arrives.

Name and face eventually forgotten.

However, a certain someone is not willing to forget or let you go so easily.

Footsteps approach.

You don’t care if it’s some thug come to rob you. Maybe they’d make it swift.

“Why?” A familiar voice asks.

Your eyes focus on the ground before you, his shadow elongated by the blinking street light behind him.

You don’t like the brokenness in his tone.

Strained, as you had heard it that time he desperately called his brother’s name.

Still, you won’t look up.

“K... Kanata…?” You ask, throat parched from not eating or drinking anything all day.

Your boyfriend crouches down before you.

You avert your face. You don’t want to hurt him too. It seems that’s all you’re good for these days.

He’s not having it.

One of his hands reaches out, cupping your cheek, guiding your gaze to his.

“Why did you leave?” He questions.

You flinch, feeling the hurt and anger in his tone, the bleeding sting of a crimson rose.

“Why did you come, Kanata?” You ask as an answer, gaze vacant, akin to the dark dirty windows lining the streets.

Your lover grits his teeth.

And if you hadn’t been so distraught yourself, you would have noticed the tears glimmering at the corners of his beautiful eyes.

The dew that fell over lilac fields in the hours between midnight and sunrise.

Dew the blazing morning would scorch.

“Tsk, are you an idiot?!” Kanata exclaims. “Going out at night like that! Anything could have happened to you!”

“And what about it?” You reply, voice monotone.

Kanata’s breath catches momentarily.

And despite your impassiveness, you can’t deny the freezing tear tracks staining your face, nor the constriction of your lungs.

“I’m a horrible person, Kanata. Who cares if anything happens? I just hurt others.”

The next thing you know is the gasp leaving your lips as familiar arms wrap around your form.

“What are you saying?” Kanata’s voice breaks. “You don’t hurt anyone, you make me happy.” He squeezes you a little harder, lovingly, like those mornings he just wanted to keep sleeping with you, even if it was only for a few brief instants.

“But I do, Kanata… I-“ You sob. “I hurt someone important to me… I didn’t want to… But I’m dumb and I try to be positive… But… My words did more wrong than good… How am I supposed to forgive myself now? I’m truly horrible.”

Your boyfriend offers you a sad smile.

“Maybe you’re right on the dumb one. You’re being dumb right now.” He places a gentle kiss on your temple. It feels warm. “You don’t hurt others, [Y/n]. You were trying to cheer someone up. I don’t think anyone could ever be mad at you for your good intentions, even if the result wasn’t the ideal one.”

You sniffle, letting yourself indulge for a few seconds in his warmth.

“Do you mean that, Kanata?”

Draping his jacket over you, he assures you:

“Do you think I’d have come out here for just anyone? It’s because I love you. Of course I mean it.” He wraps your scarf, that he picked on the way out, around you, the colorful wool and the stars sewed on each end, a bright sliver of hope in this abyss.

Kanata is pulling you out of it, though.

His hands tenderly hold yours, helping you up.

He won’t let you fall back in.

When you next meet his eyes, you find the lavender crescents you so adored every time he smiled.

Perhaps tomorrow the sun would be gentle.

As long as you had Kanata by your side, the snow wouldn’t melt the next day.

#paradox live #paradox live x reader #kanata yatonokami #paradox live imagines #paralive #kanata yatonokami x reader #paralive x reader #paralive imagines #cozmez #nayuta yatonokami #pararai #paradox live cozmez #paradox live kanata #paradox live nayuta #paradox live the animation #paradox live fanfiction #paradox live headcanons #hailey writes

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ladybirdswritings · 5 months

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Silken Webs & Pirouettes- Miguel O’Hara x Reader

Summary: You decide to take all your problems out on the dance floor. Ballerina!Reader & CEO!Miguel. Alternate Universe with most of the characters included as seen in "Across the Spiderverse." Many cameos ahead. Miguel is a successful business owner but personality is canon. This is a steamy reader insert, Miguel x You! Enjoy and pls leave me lots of love and comments as it keeps me motivated <333

next chapter

eight

“Ladies leave yo’ man at home, the club is full of ballers and they pockets full grown— and all you fellas leave yo’ girl with her friends— cause it’s eleven thirty and the club is jumpin’ jumpin’”

Your hips sway in rhythm with the song, body glistening with a soft sheen, evidence of the time you’ve spent on the dance floor. The fluorescent lights feel like they’re only on you. Men and women have either danced or tried to dance with you all night. You’ve given your number to at least eight, so far. One of them a blonde with blue eyes, older but handsome.

So…. how did you get here?

Well…

Your bed was comfortable enough for the few days you were glued to it, teary eyes and puffy face as you gazed at the phone on your pillowcase.

To call home or not to call home… that was the question.

It seemed like each time you reached for it, the constriction within the confines of your heart stopped you from lifting it off of the satin.

So you turned, gazing up at the sky behind your popcorn ceiling. Thinking for hours and hours. Could there be a way you could stay? Any other way besides going back to that dreadful office with that fanged serpent inside. That beast. Wolf. Asshole.

Nothing came to you. Maybe you’d be lucky enough at the week’s end when your check finally arrived. Lucky enough to buy more time and search even farther for more open work opportunities. Yet luck is gentle sometimes, it hides away from the people that need it.

So you tossed and you turned for hours, feeling suffocated by the matting and lack of ribbons in your hair. Until you decided to just rip the bandaid off and give in. Or so you planned to. The bright light made you squint and press anything but the phone button, or maybe it was your subconscious. What you did press was a recommended video.

A woman, a gorgeous woman with jet black locks and intimidating eyes struck you silent as she simply said,

“Get up. No no no, I don’t care how you’re feeling right now, I don’t care that you lost them or you’re depressed or he hurt you. It. Doesn’t. Matter. Get up right now, go get pretty and go show the world how pretty you are. I promise you it will fix things.”

That’s all you saw before you were up on your feet, taking an everything shower for longer than you ever have. Tending to your wild curls and plump skin. You ate, too. Stale cereal as it was all you had but— you still ate.

Then you thought. You thought about what always makes you feel good again. Alive.

Dancing.

Now you could have risked your head and paid Katerina a visit, of course. Yet you played things smart. You took the next best thing. Ballet isn’t the only rhythm you know. You did your makeup and fit into your shiniest dress. Like a disco ball, glistening in silver. Then? You searched for the nearest nightclub nearby. One where you could just dance your problems away.

Now you’re here.

“Hey baby, I’m likin’ the way you move those hips tonight.”

Ew, he smells of strong liquor.

You only smile kindly at the stranger who’s missing a front tooth and twirl, turning your back on him and continuing to sway your hips. He takes it as an opportunity to place his hand on one— and you stumble forward, pushing it away.

Too many men have felt entitled to dancing with you tonight, and he’s just another. No one asks, anymore.

“No…” you sigh through a nervous giggle.

He sucks his tee— or tooth? “Bitch.” Is all he follows with.

You frown at that, parting your lips to utter another word but— you don’t get the chance.

“Hey, leave my friend alone!” That sing-song, familiar voice.

You turn on your heel where Cindy Moon stands tall, brows furrowed as she regards the drunk asshole who is acting like he owns rights to your swaying body.

“Cindy?” You sound shocked and god— you are. What a coincidence.

Soon as the vile man leaves, she grins wide at you and pulls you into the warmth of a tight hug. It’s the first one she’s ever given you. She hugs you so hard it’s as if she’s afraid you’ll slip into the crowd of dancers if she lets go. Christ, it’s only been a week.

As kind as this is, you’re baffled.

The music is pounding in your ears, so loud you’re borderline screaming, burning at your lungs so to speak to her.

“Wait, why are you here!?”

She tilts her ear toward you— taking a moment to analyze your voice before realization strikes her.

“Company gathering!”

What? Here?

You freeze.

She must see the terror in your eyes because she immediately raises two comforting palms and shakes her head.

“Nonono— don’t worry! He never comes to these! I mean- Jess always invites him but he hasn’t showed so, doubt he will today!”

The tension in your chest eases at once, your body surrendering to the vibration of the sound. You’re grateful to god now more than ever that he hates any living, breathing corner of the world with joy and fun. You can’t imagine him in a place like this.

Wait…

“Who is Jess!?”

Cindy starts to sway her hips as the prior song bleeds perfectly into the neck, you follow suite— hands raking back your wild curls.

“C-O-O! But don’t worry, she’s super cool! This was her idea! Hey— Miguel never told us why you quit anyways!?”

She’s awfully sweet and strikingly beautiful. You see the men looking at her from the corner of your gaze, mesmerized by the young beauty with the slender frame. Yet, sweet as she is— this was your night away from all of it. He is the last thing on your mind.

Your mind wanders, searching for the right answer to put a pin in this conversation. You find one soon enough.

“Morale.” You practically snort. It’s understood immediately.

She nods once, eyes squinting as she stands on her tip toes and searches over the lively crowd. As if there’s a lightbulb floating at the top of her head.

“Hey— let’s go grab a drink!”

She’s a genius, she must know the subject makes you squirm. You grab her hand, letting her lead you off to the bar where an awfully pregnant woman with gorgeous, coiled locks sits— sipping on what you hope is a virgin lemonade.

“Two shots!!” Cindy orders, leaning over the bar and getting chatty with the tender as he prepares them.

Alcohol, yes. Just what you need. You sigh in relief, taking a seat next to the Aphrodite sipping on her drink. Her curls are dark, and her skin is gorgeous and glassy, and she’s— staring at you.

Not for a single moment, no. She’s analyzing you. Eyes locked on the side of your face.

You offer her a quick glance, squirming in your seat as she squints.

Is there something on your face?

She gasps, it makes you jump.

“No shit… you must be Ribbons.”

Ribbons?

You turn to her, brows furrowed and eyes soft as they search for an understanding to what she means. She sticks her hand out, over her swelled belly and like a zombie- you shake it.

“Ribbons, it’s what they started calling you around the office. I’m Jess, from where you used to work.”

Jess.

She must see the realization settle in your eyes because she giggles. It’s a warm sound.

You can see why people like her, why they regard her highly. She’s gorgeous, and she smells of a garden with freshly bloomed jasmine blanketing it. And her smile, it’s welcoming.

You offer her your name with an embarrassed shake of your head, partnered with a soft laugh at your oblivious nature.

“It’s alright— you didn’t have the pleasure of meeting me before saving yourself from mister hates-everyone-and-everything.”

Oh, she’s funny. Lively. You like her. You only wish it was her instead that you worked under, maybe things would’ve been different. You’d bet your pretty soul that Cindy and Mary Jane must have thought the same thing, at least once.

Cindy returns to earth soon enough, no longer drooling over the blonde bartender with a boyish grin. She hands you a shot, keeps one for herself, and hands Jess one too. Your brows lift, concern swimming in your bright eyes.

“Don’t worry, it’s virgin. Just lemon juice and seltzer— didn’t want you to feel left out!”

The kind thing, you grin at that and so does Jessica. Your glasses raise in repetition of Cindy’s own.

“To you, Ribbons. For having the guts to do what none of us ever could and getting the hell out!” She’s joking, you think. But a more analytical part of you knows well that deep down, she is not.

Christ, he’s that bad.

“Amen to that, sister.” Jess adds, and you can only laugh at the irony as you clink your glasses and shoot the horrible, burning thing back. You immediately wince as the substance itches at the base of your throat, making your eyes swell with water whilst you cough.

“Ugh, is that tequila!?”

Cindy only nods before dropping the glasses down and grabbing your hand again. She barely flinched.

“Let’s go dance!”

You don’t get the opportunity to recover and say goodbye to the pregnant Aphrodite before you’re back out on the dance floor, swaying those hips to the beat. Except now, it’s with Cindy by your side. The music is good, the drinks being brought to you by mesmerized men are good, god- the night is good. Time feels slow as it passes. That lady was on to something. You showed the world your pretty face and you got rewarded for it.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe the music but you finally feel it again. Alive. The buzz makes you feel loose, like with each sway of your hips— you’re throwing more of your problems into the burning pile and watching them melt away into nothing more than ash.

Meaningless ash. Where they can’t hurt you.

Cindy dances with a man beside you, but you dance alone. This moment, it feels too good to share with anyone else.

You don’t pay much mind to how long you’re there for, nor what’s happening around you. You don’t need to. You just need you right now, you and the music.

“I know right, she’s got the whole place looking!”

You hear above the bass; you don’t bother to listen more to Cindy’s voice or rather anything else except for the song. You’re lost in this safe little bubble, no one’s crowding you.

Wait— no one’s crowding you.

You open your eyes to see eyes staring back. Multiple, mesmerized by the way you’re moving those hips. Tipsy as you are— your face still flushes as you gaze back at them.

Your hips slow and then halt completely when the bony shoulder of a strawberry blonde bumps into your back.

“Hey, watch where you’re dancin— yeah?” A southern accent demands.

You frown at her, only seeing the back of her head as she storms past you. Christ, some night she’s having. She takes your place in the middle of the circle you created and attempts to move her hips. She looks— stiff. Like she’s trying to force the movement that should come fluidly in her hips.

Maybe you’re just drunk and critical as a former dancer. That must be it. You’ll leave her be, the room is too dizzy to care.

With a sigh, you bury yourself back into the crowd who have all turned their attention away from the circle. Whew, you’re feeling spun. Where Cindy, anyways?

Maybe it’s time for a water…

A record scratches, smirking mouth pressed up against the microphone as the DJ pulls it against his face.

“Alright alright— you guys havin’ a nice time tonight?” The crowd cheers, loud and rowdy as they look up at the record booth and lone, center stage. The DJ, he gets excited by the energy. As if he’s feeding from it.

“Alriiiiight, that’s what I like to hear. Now listen, rumor has it that right here, right now in this very moment— there’s a dancing queen among us. Oh yeah, I’m talkin’ full blown ABBA. I’ve seen her, I know you’ve seen her— light man...” He snaps his fingers, the singular luminescent glow from the ceiling lands upon him. He finishes, “Let’s find her in this crowd, shall we? Where is she?”

Your eyes scan over the crowd, curious to see just who they’re talking about.

God— she must be good for a personal shoutout in a place like this. You used all of the grocery money to get in here, it’s not like you’ve had much of an appetite, anyways…

Maybe it is the strawberry blonde with an attitude… no, no that would be absurd.

You squint as the light passes you quickly— but it soon snaps right back.

Your delicate palm softly lifts to shield it from your blinded eyes.

“There she is!” He announces, as if he’s found the first lick of gold in a deserted land of sand.

The crowd cheers, whistling and whooping as their hands pound together. You turn your head, looking each way for the dancing queen they speak of before you realize.

Oh…

It’s you.

You’re so drunk you can only giggle, covering your face with your palms as the DJ shakes his head,

“Oh no sweetheart, can’t get all shy now that you know everybody’s watching. We all saw the way you were moving those hips— we all saw it. Let me ask you muñequita, because I have a feeling. Do you know how to dance like a boricua? I saw the way you were moving, there is no chance in hell you’re an all white woman.”

He laughs at his own joke, and the crowd does too.

He’s right. Your father was a strong Puerto Rican man with intimidating eyes— he never smiled, nor did he come around often. But when he did come around? He taught you to dance. He loved to dance. You do too.

You snap yourself away from your thoughts, they’re waiting… they’re waiting and it feels so odd yet so right to have all those eyes on you.

The dancing queen…

Maybe this would’ve been your life had you not— well, tonight’s not the night to think about it. You’re far too buzzed and far too front and center to chicken out now.

You spread your fingers, eyes peeking out behind your palms. Maybe you shouldn’t but god— dancing just feels so good tonight. You nod, and the crowd cheers again.

“See, knew it. Knew it. I’m never wrong, I’m never wrong. So, chiquita bonita, how about you get up here and we give them a show— eh? What do you say?”

A show…

You can’t even deny or overthink it before the crowd starts chanting “do it, do it, do it,” in unison. Someone with cold hands pushes you forward and before you let better judgment stop you from swaying your hips center stage— you’re already up there. The lights follow you; they blind you.

“There we go! Alright, my beloved gringos and gringas can sit this one out— we’re gonna dance a little merengueeee.” He emphasizes the word in a way that makes all the girls swoon.

What are you doing? What are you doing? You don’t know. Daddy taught you merengue. You love merengue, but all these people…

Your mind flashes back to the week straight that you were wrapped like a mummy in your sheets. The tears, the loneliness, the dread. And now— here you are. They’re all looking at you like you’re a star.

…

Oh, fuck it.

The DJ spins a record again and soon enough a symphony of instruments and strings begin to flow throughout the speakers. Everyone cheers as he adjusts the needle and pulls his headphones off from his head.

Thank god, you’d just about melt if you had to dance this alone. He hurries over to you. He has kind, brown eyes and a mustache just above his contagious smile. His belly is soft, it protrudes just a bit.

“Peter.” He greets where only you can hear him. You peer up at him shyly, feeling the heat of the moment suffocate you. You haven’t had this many eyes on you since you were with Katerina. The very distant, sober part of you is tugging your hand. Begging you to get off stage.

Peter furrows his brows,

“Hey— don’t look at them. Look at me.”

He’s awfully kind, and he’s right. If you play pretend, this moment could feel euphoric. You nod, forgetting all your worries as the long intro finally comes to an end.

“Bajo una noche estrellada, de luna llena…”

See, the thing about dancers is that no matter how loud the mind screams, the body won’t stop moving. Yours is no different.

His palms are warm as they press against your own. You clasp your fingers against his and keep his warm brown eyes centered as the only thing in sight.

The dancer you are, your hips start to sway.

“Ahi está.” He praises, one hand falling to rest against your hip, following each effortless motion and figure eight they make in unison with the beat. Something about him, it’s safe. It’s gentle. It’s— a really good merengue dancer.

Christ…

You giggle as he moves his hips, leading your mesmerizing motions. He’s putting you on display, twirling your sparkling dress under the spot lights for the whistling crowd to see. He spins you once, twice, thrice, then he stops you— your back to him.

“You okay with this?” He whispers in your ear, you nod— grateful he asked for a yes. The first man tonight who has, unfortunately…

Your hips move back against him, his leg— at least that’s what you think it is. You’re too drunk to know any better.

You both move in unison, and although he’s the only thing that exists in your mind right now aside from the music— you can feel the crowd. In your bones and chest, vibrating louder than the sound that leads you and the hands that guide you. Feel their eyes and excitement as you do as he said and give them a show.

“You’re bringing me lots of business tonight, dancing queen.”

Your cheeks are pink from the buzz, and you laugh as he twirls you again— back into the first position. You both sway your hips, the trumpet of the song a euphoric sound. He reaches a hand out, pushing it in an upward motion to signal the crowd to get louder.

God- they do.

They do as you twirl again, as you move your body for them to see.

A dazzling starlet.

You’re lost, so lost in the moment that you feel like finally, you’ve reached it. That peak, just at the top of the mountain where no one and nothing else exists. Nothing plagues you, no. Just this moment.

Your curls are wild and free, no longer tamed by your straightener and ribbons, they dance on their own, too.

You could stay here forever.

Peter steps back, holding your intertwined hands up in the air— only moving his hips softly as he puts you front and center. In this moment, you no longer feel like a ballerina in a box. No, you’re the ballerina who leaped outside of that stupid wooden box. That stupid office. Stupid dance room.

Stupid boss.

Stupid Katerina.

Stupid Miguel.

Hey… that guys kinda looks like—

Peter twirls you swiftly back into his arms and continues moving. You’re still facing front, the rhythm controlling your body like it’s got strings sewn into your limbs.

But that guy…

The crowd is slowly fading back as the lights get a bit dimmer. You squint behind the hundreds of gazes on you so you can see— and Christ, do you see it.

Him.

Miguel fucking O’Hara.

And his eyes? Those intimidating eyes…

They’re glued on to you. Nothing else but you, as if you’re the only breathing creature besides himself that exists in this room. It must be him, you can’t delude yourself into believing or seeing otherwise. He’s seated beside a smiling Jessica.

Your gazes lock.

Woah….

The air leaves you, and you’re certain you turn entirely red against your silver. You stumble, and Peter catches you.

“You okay?”

You turn to meet his warm brown orbs.

You need to leave— now.

You’re drunk, and nauseous.

“No no I- m’ sorry I have to go.” Like Cinderella in the night. Only you’re running from the monster, not to it.

The crowd “awws” in unison as you part from Peter’s hands and softly make your way to the stairs. You leave him confused as he grabs the vacant mic.

He takes the attention off of you and quickly puts it back onto himself, likely seeing the panic in your eyes. You’d suffocate if the crowd watched you crumble.

“The dancing queen everybody, leaving me quicker than my first wife.”

The stairs make you dizzy, you grip tightly onto the rail as you descend them. Oh, the room is spinning. It’s smaller. Are you panicking again? No no, you can’t. Not while drunk.

Why is Katerina coming to the forefront of your mind?

Oh god, you are.

“That was awesome!” Cindy calls, gently grabbing your arm.

All of it, it’s all echoing.

“I have to go…” you breathe out as you push past her. Merengue makes people move, so so much. It’s hard to weave through. You’re gonna vomit. You are so gonna vomit right now.

You huff,

“Excuse me, please…”

They don’t listen or make it easy, but you’re slender enough to push through for the most part. The trumpets still play in the background, chasing you out and the crowd is laughing at something Peter is doing on stage. You don’t pay it any mind.

You need to go, you need air— distance.

“Oh!” Another bump against your shoulder from the strawberry blonde, harsher this time and you fall against a brick wall. Er- that’s what it feels like.

Your hands immediately lift to steady yourself against the firm stranger’s torso as your body straightens up. You’re so, so dizzy— and you’re certain that you’re drunk now because your speech is slurred.

The tequila.

“M’ so sorry I-”

Your mouth goes slack once you’re able to lift the soft curve of your chin from where it once stared at leather shoes.

It’s then that the scent of firewood and espresso all floats back— slamming against your senses like a crashing wave to shore. So suddenly. Looking down at you under the sparkling lights, in the sea of joyous people…

Dark eyes, tense jaw, long hair…

It’s him…

Mr. O’Hara…

🏷️’s: @reirain @needybitez @migueloharastruelove @laysmt @maomaimao @daisy-artfield @poutysprouty @chorizobeets @tabalittlelong @iitangerine | chap 8 song 🎧:

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tadpolesonalgae · 11 months

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Good, Little, Girl <3 Part 3[*?]

A/N: all I’ve been writing recently is smut, smut, smut and I feel like such a whore. I’m so proud of myself

Summary: uh, so this is set a little later (like a couple of months so they’ve had time to hang out and reader’s had a chance to get nice and comfortable with our Azzie)

Warnings: depression, angst, scars, a bit of sexuality, mentions of bdsm.

-Part 1- -Part 2-

“And you’re sure they’re fine with this?” You pressed, following him inside his house. “I checked, stop stressing,” he threw over his shoulder as you removed your shoes from your feet, padding along after him. “This is supposed to be a fun, stress-free evening,” he emphasised, ascending the stairs, his long legs allowing him to go three at a time with casual ease. “I know, I know,” you muttered, following behind him at a more relaxed pace.

He held the door open for you, allowing you to brush past his chest as you entered his bedroom. “Look at you go,” he teases, “not even hesitating.” You rolled you eyes at his mocking nature, having grown accustomed to it over the past few months. “You’ve proved to be entirely harmless,” you threw over your shoulder as you turned.

Azriel quirked a brow at your bold assumption, but before he could throw a sardonic quip at you, you’d already turned to observe his bed. “Hey, your bed’s made,” you shoot him a look, “how luxurious.” He rolled his eyes, pushing off the door frame, moving to the TV, shutting the door behind him. “What do you feel like tonight?” He asked, locating the remote stuffed beneath some neatly folded clothes he hadn’t had the chance to shove away before you arrived.

You hummed behind him, and he could practically see you comically tapping your finger over your sweet, lovely lips. He swallowed. Keep it down, Az. He can’t be scaring you off now. You’re just becoming comfortable around him. “What do you feel about Horrid Henry?” You spoke, settling on something quicker than usual.

He snorted at the choice, turning to find you with a serious look on your face. “Something funny?” You looked unamused. He chuckles to himself, shaking his head, “what is it with you and kids shows?” You glowered at him as his hand settled on the small of your back, guiding you to his bed. “Do you have something against Horrid Henry, Azriel?” You muttered, crawling onto the right hand side of his bed. “Nothing at all.” You raised a brow to tell him you didn’t believe a word of it.

You paused for a moment, thinking. “Why don’t you pick something out?”

Azriel nodded, “Horrid Henry it is.” He could feel your scowl from across the bed as he settled down. “I’m serious. You always let me choose to the point I’m genuinely concerned about the things you watch in your free time.” He laughed at that but continued clicking through the TV. It was only when you crawled across to him, settling at his side and tugging the remote from his hands that he looked at you.

And his eyes immediately dropped to your mouth. Thank god you weren’t looking at him as you navigated to the search bar. “Come on, just pick a film. Doesn’t even have to be one you like, or’ve watched.” Azriel flipped the lights off, making the TV stand out in the dark room. “You always let me take the lead,” you spoke, looking at him, trying to get his attention. “Why don’t you even take control?”

He knew you weren’t doing it on purpose, but it just sounded…

“You never take control anywhere else in your life,” he pointed out, turning to look at you, making you flush. “Ignoring that,” you muttered, eyes flicking away for a second, “I don’t want to you hold back just because you think I can’t handle it.”

Jesus Christ.

He hummed, turning back to the TV, taking back the remote. “Fine,” he sighed, exhausted, selecting something though you didn’t pay attention. You sat there, quietly, watching his profile. The cut of his jaw, the set of his nose, the shape of his mouth. Those beautiful hazel eyes, a swirl of matcha green and coffee beans.

“Why did you have handcuffs on your bed?”

He startled, hazel eyes sliding to yours, alarmed. His gaze ran over you, tracing your form before again meeting your eyes, settling back into the cushions. “How long have you been gathering up the courage to ask?” He drawled, attention returning to the screen. God knew he could no longer look you in the eye to answer that. “It was more a build up of curiosity,” you answered, removing you attention from him.

You waited silently for his answer, but nothing came. “Azriel?” You prompted, turning to look up at him. He attempted to keep his eyes on the screen as he set the film playing, but he could feel the warm pressure of your shoulder against his bicep, and it was taking up most of his awareness. His tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, turning to see you watching with enlarged pupils. From the darkness.

“I think you know why,” he managed, voice coming out smooth and unruffled. As if he hadn’t spent nights with his hand fisted around his cock, fantasising about what you would look like with those cuffs decorating your pretty wrists. He waited for a reaction, but you didn’t seem surprised. He wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not. “So…what? Women just let you tie them up?”

“People,” he corrected with a wry smile, harkening back to an earlier conversation. “People,” you repeated, following along with him, chasing your answer.

He sighed when your attention didn’t shift back to the TV. His intent to help you hold your ground was backfiring on him horribly. “I like being in control,” he finally admitted, staring you down as you peered up him with those open, curious eyes. “It’s reassuring to have that sense of power, especially during something that can be so intimate.” You were quiet for a moment, before dipping your head in a nod, “I see.”

You didn’t seem to be having any particular reaction other than bland acceptance. It was a little unnerving. “You don’t seem particularly surprised,” he spoke, watching you for any kind of indication to your thoughts. He got it though, when the tips of your ears flush, cheeks warming. You looked away, “I did some research…” You admitted quietly. “There were some interesting…video essays, on the topic.”

It took a moment for him to comprehend your prim language, but when he did, a bark of laughter flew from his mouth. Your head whipped back to him, alarmed at the startled sound. “You watched porn,” he drawled, looking at you incredulously. A familiar sense of ease settled over him as he watched your lips part, eyes widening at his words. You turned away from him, blushing furiously as you sat straighter.

“I didn’t want to judge something I knew nothing about,” you answered, tone matter-of-fact. How many times had he thought about hearing you order him about in that same strict tone? Too many, Az. Get a grip. Still, his lips curled into a grin, “and what was your strictly academic conclusion?” Your eyes flicked to his, marking his mocking tone, before snapping away.

He waited patiently but it seemed you were set on ignoring him. He bumped his elbow into your side to get your attention. “What did you think?” He asked, softer this time, the teasing lilt to his voice settling into a more serious one. Your jaw shifted as you took an inhale, “from what I could gather…” you began, attempting to keep your tone even, “a video doesn’t satisfyingly demonstrate the trust between partners. I found it straining and nauseating.”

Azriel bit his tongue to keep himself from offering pieces of information you would not want. His heart sank a little. “I see,” he settled on, repeating your words back to you. He deflated into his pillows. That was the end of that, then. There was no way anything would work between you with such vast differences.

“That being said…” you spoke quietly, yet loud enough to snap his attention back to you. Your eyes slid to his, a glint sparking, “…in a written form, where I can understand the emotion behind it all…?” He held his breath, unable to tear his gaze from your own. His heart skipped a beat when the edges of your mouth softened, “I can see why you find it so appealing.”

His head went quiet. Thoughts ceased as he replayed your words in his head. I can see why you find it so appealing. Your eyes had left his, returning to the screen, but he was still locked on you. Was that a sign? Had you just been trying to comfort him, or had you just flirted with him? With any other person, he would have been able to tell. But either way, it was so out of character. The suggestive tip of your lips, the dark spark in your eyes. Those weren’t things he associated with you.

Fuck.

He prayed you wouldn’t look at his lap. That the room was dark enough for you not to notice anything off about him.

“Would you ever try it?” Goddammit, Azriel. Even to his own ears he sounded breathless. What was happening?

You head tipped back to look up at him, questioningly. “Try what?”

Arousal spiked in his lower stomach. Were you really asking that? He swallowed, licking his strangely dry lips, “bdsm?” The letters alone caused your head to dip in embarrassment. “I’m pretty sure you have to have a partner to try it with, first of all,” you laughed to yourself. It sounded like the ringing of silver bells, and he nearly forgot the conversation. “I think I’d have to trust the person a lot before trying anything wild,” you admitted, a smile still on your lips as you watched your hands in your lap. “Someone I could count on and know they’d listen to me,” you hedged, the words unraveling from your tongue.

“I guess…someone like you…”

He went preternaturally still as the admission came from your lips. Someone like you. Someone I could count on… know they’d listen to me.

I’d treat you so good.

He watched from behind his eyes as your own widened, looking at him with a startled look on your beautiful face. He’d said that out loud, hadn’t he? Guess he was doing this now, then.

“I would never hurt you,” he spoke quietly, looking deep into your eyes. “You can trust me with that much.” His fingers brushed yours. Fuck it. His palm moved over your own, gently weaving your digits together. “Give me a chance, and I won’t squander it. I can promise I’ll make you so happy.”

Your lips parted, heart pounding in your chest.

He just confessed.

To you.

Shit. What do you say?

An unsure smile settled nervously on your lips, teetering on the edge of dropping off your face entirely. “I might be into physical pain, Azriel,” you breathed, hands trembling. He watched as something sad flashed through your eyes. “But emotional pain isn’t part of it,” you managed. “So if this is your way of messing around, it’s not cool, okay?”

Azriel shook his head, squeezing your shuddering hand gently. “I’m not messing around with you,” he whispered, eyes locked onto yours, “I’m promising. To treat you well, I mean.”

He waited anxiously, watching you, feeling as your fingers twitched as if considering pulling away from him. His heart thundered against his rib cage, nerves crawling beneath his skin. Your eyes scanned over him, as if analysing him. When they returned to his, he held his breath. You swallowed, “I’d like that.”

He didn’t dare release the air in his lungs, too scared you’d change your mind. You eyes flickered about, before returning to his nervously. “You’re… I feel like I can trust you,” you whisper, and you’re surprised there’s no tremor to your voice. “So I’m going to trust you, Azriel. Because I like you.”

Exhale.

You watched him, fear pumping through your blood, waiting. His eyes softened, free hand lifting to glide beneath your jaw, tilting your head. You held your breath as he leaned forward slowly, giving you the chance to pull away should you now wish to have his mouth over yours. But you did. So badly.

Your eyelids slid shut, leaning toward him. Permission granted.

Azriel nearly groaned as he recognised the action, relief flowing through his body, providing soothing reprieve. His lips were soft against your own, pillowy and hot as he applied a gentle pressure over you, swallowing down your feel.

It was hesitant. Nervous. Exploratory.

Neither of you had thought this far ahead.

He pulled away first, pleasure running beneath his surface as it took a moment for you to open your eyes. When you did, they looked glazed, hazy. Your gaze latched onto his, then dipped to his mouth.

Neither of you could resist the pull.

His mouth returned to yours, opening over your parted lips as he drank from you, tasting your flavour as his tongue licked over your teeth, flicking in a way that had you thinking about what he would feel like elsewhere.

A moan sounded somewhere in between your hot mouths. Your eyes squeezed tight when you realised it had come from you. Instead of teasing you for it, he took it as encouragement, spurring his movements on.

Tentatively, he moved over you, keeping you beneath him as you sank into the pillows. Your hands gingerly, ran up his biceps, curling around his neck. Your fingers played with the silky wisps of hair at his nape. Another moan lifted from your throat, only to be swallowed by Azriel, greedily taking every sound you gave him, treasuring each one.

Slowly, his mouth moved to the corner of your lips, kissing down your jaw, trailing over the column of your throat, feeling your breath hitch beneath his tongue. Your lungs were shaking as he latched his mouth over a spot on your neck, softly sucking, taking the skin between his teeth as he nipped. You whimpered, fingers tightening in his hair as he continued down. Past your collar bones, inching his way down your body. Between your breasts, mapping out his own pathway.

So carefully, he settled between your legs, and you thought you would melt right then and there. He looked up at you, bay and black tea leaves connecting. “Have you ever had someone between your legs?” He breathed, voice coming out horse. Heat swirled in your lower abdomen, eyes weighing with lust and need.

You were too out of it, answering his question honestly, “yes.” His eyes flicked up to yours, sincerity woven through the melodic chords of his voice, “you’re going to forget.” Your eyelids fluttered shut as you basked in his touch, loosing yourself in the feel of his fingers dipping beneath the band of your tights, pulling them off. Your skin felt free, but sensitive, having kept them covered for the past few days.

His hands wrapped over the tops of your thighs - near your hip bone. His heavenly mouth pressed to your abdomen, trailing down reverently, lips meeting the fabric of your underwear as your back arched with budding anticipation. “Azriel,” you breathed, a quiet plea.

Head silent, filled only with you, he began to descend between your thighs, memorising every second should you wake tomorrow and decide to take your words back. His hand slid down over your thigh and he stilled.

Mind frozen, his fingertips traced your skin again. The soft skin, that would yield beneath force, held the puckering slices of scars. Recent ones. Disbelievingly, he pulled back, the light of the TV illuminating the room enough for his eyes to pick out the scratches littering the tops of your thighs. His heart sunk to his stomach as he looked lower, the skin of your shins filled with pursed marks.

All at once, you jerked upright, returning to your body. You’d been swept away by the feel of his loving touch, forgetting why your skin felt so relieved to breathe after having to be hidden.

Awareness flooded your body, skin tingling where his fingers had brushed as you pulled your legs to your body, shoving up the bed. Your arms wrapped over your shins, as if it would wipe the marks from his memory, what you wish you could do to your skin.

Widened, pain-filled eyes locked on your own. Shocked.

Tears flooded your vision, blurring him as they rolled down your cheeks. Every emotion you’d felt over the past month whipping down upon you. Hot, salty water traced forceful, heavy streams down your cheeks, rolling beneath your jaw before dropping heavily onto the your stomach.

“I—…” You don’t know what to say. Just frantic to explain it away, pretend it’s nothing.

Azriel stared at you, eyes struggling to lift from the red-rimmed scars that glared at him angrily. He watched as your hands splayed across your shins, attempting to hide as much of the damage as possible. How painful the sight was. How small your body looked, folded in on itself, head lowered in shame, shoulders trembling with quiet sobs.

Scars littering your skin.

His girl.

The girl he loved, who sliced herself up, not knowing how to manage the torrent of emotions tearing her down.

“What are these?” He asked, voice cracking as his chest hollowed out. How could you ever lay a finger on your body? How could you wield a blade so viciously against yourself?

“I—…I’m sorry,” you sobbed, voice weak and wobbly. “I didn’t mean— You weren’t supposed—…” The tears splattered as the drops burst on contact. The bed dipped, and pain sang throat your chest, gripping your throat, choking on tears you tried to swallow. You tugged your lip between your teeth, hand covering your mouth in small attempt to quiet yourself.

Tentatively, he reached out. He didn’t want to startle, or scare you. But he needed you to know he was there. Even as you were crumbling before his eyes. He needed to hold you together before you disintegrated entirely.

One arm reached below your lower back, lifting you from the bed as he pulled you gently to his chest. “It’s okay…” he breathed, hoarsely, throat wet with tamping down his own emotions. You were pulled into his lap, one thigh settled over his own as he tucked you neatly into the strong frame of his body.

My sweet, clever girl.

The sobs broke from your lips, quiet moans of pain singing from your mouth. He held you through it all, hands gripping your upper back to keep you tight against him. Your own arms wound around his waist, crying into his chest as your emotions spilled over. “I’m— I’m sorry, Azriel… I’m so�� so sorry.” A stinging feeling split through his breast bone as he held you tighter. “Stop apologising,” he whispered softly, breath fluttering against the side of your head.

You sniffled, shaking your head, “I’m sorry— I don’t know what—” A sob burst from you, trembling in his arms. You didn’t even know what you were trying to say as groans of pain leave your lips, muffled by his chest. His hand brushed over your hair, mouth pressing delicate kisses to your head, over your temple.

He pulled you away, far enough to look at you. Your eyes were wet with tears, cheeks shining as the skin puffed, your upper lip was damp as your lower one trembled, more tears cascading down. Small strands of hair had stuck to your temples. The sight nearly has him collapsing in one himself. He’d just manage to have you, and already you were caving in on yourself.

“Hey,” he whispered, thumbs brushing beneath your lashes, attempting to dry your cheeks but more wetness flowed in their place. “It’s going to be okay,” he murmured, a slight tremor in his voice, “it’ll pass.”

You shook your head, “it always comes back. It just— it won’t leave me alone. I can’t do anything about it. It just keeps crushing into me,” you sobbed, hands wrapping over his forearms. “You have to work through this,” he breathed, words fluttering over your skin, “you have to make it out.”

You shook your head again, “I can’t.”

“Look at me,” he demanded softly. Reluctantly, you raised your gaze to his, “you’re going to make it through, okay?” He whispered softly, but firmly. “It’s just a matter of minutes, seconds ticking by. One at a time. Just take them slowly, okay? Don’t think about outlasting all of it. Just go one second at a time, and they’ll tick by before you know it.”

Your sobs slow, evening out, peering up at him. “Look at you,” he praised, quietly, “it’s already been a few minutes.” You sniffed, small tears pooling at the edges of your mind. But that pain had begun to soothe, melting out across your chest, becoming a dull thrum. “There you go,” he mollified, the sway to the deep timbre of his voice resonating somewhere far inside of you.

“Why don’t you relax for a little, yeah?” He soothed, gently settling you back down into the pillows, tucking you beneath a warm blanket. “Wrap yourself up, and we can put something on in the background. Or just sit together. Whatever you want,” he tags on. You curl back into the bed, revelling in the tenderness of his touch, his attentive nature you were just getting to see.

You just sat there, watching him, mind blanking, throwing all your words out just to make room for him in your head. You drank him in, absorbing the pads of his fingertips, the glow of his skin, the depthless swirl of hazel. Devastating.

“What do you feel like?” He whispered, watching you with those beautiful, beautiful eyes.

When you moved to reach for him he came to you, leaning into your touch as he settled down beside you. His heart thundered in his chest as you curled into his side, not saying a word. The silence was pristine, perfect against your ears as you tucked against him, crying into his solid warmth.

You couldn’t muster up the energy to talk, melting into his side, hoping if you kept your eyes closed, focused on the feeling of his skin against your, you could sink into him, forget about yourself. The pads of your fingers pressed against his solid muscle, bathing in the feeling of his clothes lapping at your skin.

The moment would end eventually. But you didn’t want it to.

He was comforting, and strong. You felt safe and tearful around him. Your mind went quiet whenever his eyes touched yours, whenever his words warmed your ears.

Maybe one day it would pass.

As you drifted off in his arms, you found yourself thinking how many seconds it had been, but you couldn’t count. The thoughts had eddied from your mind, replaced with the sound of his voice, soothing as it washed over you.

Taglist: @myheartfollower

#Azriel #Azriel x reader #Good Little Girl <3 #Azriel angst #acotar #Azriel x reader fluff

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itaehynz · 8 months

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the way things go. — c.bg

pairing: choi beomgyu x gn!reader x choi yeonjun.

genre: fluff + angst (kinda)

warnings: some lyrics from ‘the way things go’ by beabadoobee.

summary: it’s been two years since your heartbreak. he comes back to apologize but it’s too late.

part 1 | part 2

it’s been two years & your life has been falling nothing short of happiness. you’ve been the happiest you can be and you sort of thank beomgyu for that, without the breakup you wouldn’t have realized your worth.

you’re worthy of having friends outside of your relationship, being in touch with your family, going out with friends without feeling guilty.

even though, after the breakup you did fall into a sort of depressive state, knowing that beomgyu and your bestfriend were the only sort of consistency in your life. the only people you felt like you had. but that wasn’t true, no it wasn’t. they were holding you back.

now that it’s over, you’ve blossomed into a beautiful, social butterfly. making new friends wherever you go, bagging job interviews wherever you went. actually no, you’ve bagged a job already!

it pays amazing, you enjoy working there, amazing co-workers & one of them seem to have a little crush on you. let’s just say, it’s not unrequited… you have a date with him tonight!

his name is yeonjun, he works in the upper level but you always see him in the morning at your local cafe & you two always end up walking to work together, ever since then you’ve two hit it off. he’s a sweetheart, you enjoy speaking with him and he’s extremely good looking.

so as of right now, you’re at home to prepare yourself for your date. you didn’t dress up or anything because yeonjun said he wanted to start off small.

he’s supposed to be picking you up at 8:30. it’s 8:20 and you’re already dressed, sitting down and watching tv. you’re relaxing before he arrives but you hear a small knock at your door. pausing your show, you walk over to your door unlocking it and being faced with an all too familiar figure.

“beomgyu?”

“hi y/n,” he says.

“what are you doing here?” you question him, blinking in confusion as it’s been nearly three years since you’ve last seen him.

there's so much left to say.

he clears his throat, preparing for what he came to say but he’s slightly unfocused. you look perfect, your hair is styled differently than usual, and there are no longer exhaustion bags under your eyes.

was he the cause of your change? that shouldn’t even be a question, obviously he was (in the worst way).

“i… i came here to say sorry. for two years ago, i gave up on our relationship and instead of just breaking up with you, i cheated on you with your best friend. i’m really sorry y/n.”

you aren’t shocked that that’s what he came here for but, you didn’t expect it to be now.

i guess i'm just the bigger guy,

“i already forgave you, beomgyu,” you sigh, “forgiving and forgetting. it’s all in the past now.”

he looks shocked to hear your answer and he opens his mouth to reply but he hears your elevator ding behind him, turning around to see who it is.

you peek out of your apartment to see who he’s looking at and smile in response, “hi yeonjun!” you say, which causes beomgyu to look back at you in confusion.

i'm happy now, i ought to let you know

“hey y/n! who’s this?” he asks as he reaches out to shake beomgyu’s hand. beomgyu shakes his hand hesitantly with a small smile on his face.

“oh, this is beomgyu. he’s an old friend of mine,” you reply, looking up at beomgyu once again. “no worries, he was just leaving so we can be on our way in a few! let me just finish speaking with him for a moment,” yeonjun nods, going to hug you and then walk back to the elevator.

in my mind, you always stay the same

you turn back to beomgyu sighing, “i’ve moved on beomgyu, your apology is long overdue and i’m over it. it’s best you get over it too, if you’re not already.” smiling gently before reaching inside your apartment for your jacket, “see you.” you say as you leave out of your apartment, closing the door and walking away from beomgyu as you walk over to yeonjun with a bright smile.

and i don't mind that that's the way things go

beomgyu stands there as he watches you hug the so-called ‘yeonjun’ once more, sadness glazing his eyes. turning away to walk down the stairs with his hands in his pockets, coming to the realization that you’ve actually moved on.

oh, i guess that's just the way things go.

but hey, he’s the cause of it and all he can do is blame himself. he wasn’t good for you and you were too good for him, that’s just the way things go.

++ author’s note: hi guys! as i’m coming to the end of writing the long awaited ‘i can’t remember to forget you’, i decided to finish up this draft. it’s the sequel to my latest beomgyu fic & i hope you guys enjoy reading this as someone did request a part two!

++ tagl: @boba-beom @bucketofhiros @yeofy @n0-thisispatrick @hyukafied @hyunimylove @luvsoobs @choiwrld @majestyjun @tyunkus @belovedxiao @h00nerz.

++ networks: @k-labels

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givehimthemedicine · 2 months

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run with me // an elmax ficlet

El and (blind) Max finally make it to California, where Max promised to show her the beach.

This is a future visit to the elmax from my story Do Not Cry. In that, Max spent the night before her Vecna death with El, and said she wished she could have shown El the beach, and El tried to make it happen in a remote-viewing sort of way. They’re kind of a QPR in this universe.

Los Angeles is absolutely nothing like Hawkins. In a lot of ways that’s exciting, but in others it makes El appreciate home.

This trip was supposed to be something they did right away, as soon as Max was healed, just to celebrate being alive. But between a long recovery, depression, an almost-apocalypse, and tight funds, they haven’t made it until now - the week of Max’s 20th birthday.

The driver says what they owe, and El leans sideways a little for Max to whisper in her ear how much money to really give him. She knows the rule - that you have to give people more money than what they say - but she doesn’t understand why, or which times, or how much extra, so knowing that is Max’s job and counting out the bills is hers.

El hands it to the man and slides out of the cab, looping their bag over her shoulder and extending her hand for Max.

As soon as Max steps out, she turns and faces the water. It's the sound, El realizes, but she likes the idea of Max just being drawn to it naturally, because she comes from here. Two little suns glint off her dark glasses as she tips her smiling face up towards it.

The air feels different here. Loud and thick and alive.

“Ready?” El asks, linking their arms.

“I’m ready,” Max answers, nearly bouncy with impatience. It’s good to see her so excited.

Max can walk around okay by herself with her cane, but she likes El’s arm better, and El is more than happy to oblige. Even if Max could walk and see as well as ever, El would still take her arm right now, just to be close to her for this.

They walk until pavement gives way to sand, and El immediately discovers two things she had not expected: that it would be very confusing to her legs, and that it would immediately get all into her flip-flops in a gritty, hurty way.

But now isn’t really the time to say that, because Max is slowing to a stop.

They stand there with the breeze in their hair as Max seems to take in a view that she cannot see.

"Well," she gestures broadly with her arm. "There it is."

"This is beautiful, Max," El says. She hasn’t looked at the water yet.

Over five years ago now was the terrifying night Max had been convinced was her last. She had said she wished they could’ve gone to the beach together, and there wasn't time to really go, so El had tried her best to make it happen in their minds. It was El’s desperate try at giving her one last moment of happiness, in case she was right. It had not been much of a success.

Ever since then, El has eagerly looked forward to this moment happening for real.

But she has also kind of dreaded it.

Neither of them thought Max would magically be able to see when they stepped into the sand. Or maybe they both secretly had. Maybe in one teensy speck of El’s mind she hadn’t ruled it out, because impossible things have happened to them before. But even while this is a dream come true, to finally find out the answer really is no, hurts.

Bittersweet - Will taught her that word - is when something is happy and sad at the same time. Unsure which way to feel, El is watching Max for guidance, but Max is having the same problem. Smiling, but also trying not to cry a little bit.

After giving Max a moment with her thoughts, El hugs her arm tighter and it seems to pull her out.

She offers El a smile and reaches under her sunglasses to wipe a tear in a way that El knows means ignore that.

So okay. They are going with sweet, for now.

Max dips and hands El one shoe, then the other, and El copies her. It’s easier to walk without them.

They go forward to where the sand starts to slope down toward the water, which is beautiful, now that El actually sees it. It’s not beautiful in a soft pretty way, like a flower, but beautiful in a wild, uncontainable, unimaginably strong way, like…. well. She can’t really think of anything it’s like.

She thinks back to the glimpses of beach Max had shared that night. It had been a glitchy patchwork of different memories, but the main way was a day full of towering, fluffy white clouds.

For a moment, El considers saying the sky looks exactly that way today, in case that is what would make Max happiest. But that would be lying.

So now that it’s her turn to show the beach to Max, she tells her the truth: that the sky is mostly blue today, except there are some wispy foggy clouds that scoot along very fast on the breeze.

She tells her that the sun looks glittery on the water, and that it is almost hard to tell where the ocean stops and the sky starts.

She tells her how many people are around, and that there is a dog who looks friendly enough that he might come over to them, and kids flying a red kite, and a big group of seagulls standing around like they are all talking about something important.

There is a boat out there that’s either really big and really far away, or medium big and medium far away. It feels weird to look at the horizon and not know how far away it is. El has probably never seen so far in her entire life.

The size of the ocean is astounding. She remarks that the world must be all water and they are lucky to be on the only little dry part of it. That wasn’t meant to be funny, but Max laughs.

El is wary of going close to it. She doesn’t like water anyway, but now she understands the stories she has heard of people getting swept out to sea.

Max promised they won't go into the water, but she does want to walk all the way to the edge and get her feet wet.

It’s colder than El expects, and there are tickly bits of something in it that gives her the heebie jeebies when it washes over her ankles. The uncertain noise she lets out seems to entertain Max very much.

They play with the tides, trying to wait until the last second before scuttling backwards so the water doesn’t get them. Max is perfect at it just by listening. She stands fearlessly still, backing up just far enough at just the right time to escape every wave.

El is not so good; it surprises her every time. She scream-laughs when it gets the bottoms of her shorts.

After that, El hands her disposable camera to a lady and asks her to take their picture.

And after that, Max stops in mid-sentence to say she smells hot dogs, so El walks way over to the stand and brings back hot dogs and lemonade to eat on the blanket Max has spread out for them.

And after that they walk along the water’s edge, and because El is watching out for where Max’s feet step, she finds lots of interesting little things that the ocean has offered up.

Every few steps, she bends to pick something up and place it into Max’s hands for her to feel:

Some smooth, dark little rocks.

A seashell.

Weird slippery rubbery stuff that is in piles all over - that's seaweed, Max says.

Another seash - oops, no, that is a bottle cap.

A soggy piece of wood.

A small pretty rock that is lime green and kind of see-through like she's never seen a rock be - that's not a rock, Max says, it’s a piece of broken glass that the ocean polished smooth.

That one goes in El’s pocket, and so does every seashell she can find, until they are bulging and there’s no room left in her hands.

“Hold these,” she says, dumping her extra shells into Max’s outstretched hands.

“What are you gonna do with all these?” she asks, amused.

“I want to make a lamp like you used to have.”

“You remember that?”

She remembers Max’s old yellow bedroom fondly; it had been golden and fun in the daytime, warm and cozy at night. Max had read to her by the glow of her seashell-covered lamp, and for a while, she had felt hidden from all her problems.

“Of course,” El says. “I have never seen another one like it. Did you make it by yourself?”

“Pretty sure my mom thrifted it, to be honest.”

“Oh. Well, I liked it, I’m gonna make us another one. They’ll be our shells. And whenever I see it and whenever you touch it, we will remember today.”

When they get their own apartment together, El will paint their bedroom yellow, and she will read to Max by the light of their seashells, and she will make sure it's as happy and safe a place as Max had given her.

They go back to their blanket to rest awhile, and El dumps all their shells into their bag.

She also takes out the empty mason jar she’d brought along, and scoops it full of sand. That is to keep at home so Max can stick her fingers in it any time she wants.

Most things that homes are usually decorated with, she realized as soon as Max lost her sight, do not do anything except look pretty. So El is always on the lookout for things that are also pretty to touch and smell and hear, because their home should be filled with things that they can both enjoy.

She goes down her checklist of senses, inhaling deeply. There is a smell here (besides the hot dogs), a smell she has never smelled anywhere else, but she isn’t sure whether it’s really very pleasant, or what exactly it’s coming from.

“What is the smell?” she asks, hoping to find out if Max likes it a lot, and if so, how to capture it for her.

“I don’t really know,” Max answers thoughtfully. “Probably gross stuff, actually, if you think too hard about it. Dead fish and seaweed or whatever. But it’s just kinda… part of it.”

“Hm.” El is pretty sure she should not bring home any dead sea creatures.

She looks at Max. Smiles at the color of her hair in the sun, at the contented smile on her lips, and at the freckled shoulders that she hopes they put enough sunscreen on at the hotel.

“You look like you fit here.”

Max's brows peek over the top of her sunglasses. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You just do.”

What she actually means is that the way Max’s hair is blowing in the wind looks pretty and mermaidy and graceful, unlike her own, which never stops bothering her face and going in her mouth. But that doesn’t make enough sense to actually say, and Max is weird about compliments.

“Would you like to live here again?”

Max turns as if to look at her surprised. “Why, are you liking LA that much?”

It has been fun to visit and see lots of new things, but truthfully, El has not especially fallen in love with this city so far. And although the ocean is beautiful, it has not especially captivated her. It really only means anything to her because it means something to Max.

“It’s pretty here. But the prettiest thing about it is that you look happy. I would live anyplace that makes you happy.”

Max smiles and reaches out to pat her hand.

“It’s not really the beach I’m happy about. It’s just.. y’know. That this really happened.”

El tips her head against Max’s so that she knows she understands. And she thinks maybe this is time to start crying, because it seems inevitable, but instead Max keeps talking.

“I did wonder if I’d think that when we got here. If I’d step off the plane and feel like, ‘Wow, I’m back home!’”

“You don’t?”

“No. I mean.. I don’t know if I wanna live in Hawkins forever, but.. this doesn’t feel more like home. It just feels like… the past. Not all good memories. Not all bad.”

“Tell me a good one.”

Max shrugs, angling her face into the breeze, smiling when she thinks of something.

"I remember being little and just.. running, out here. You know how you can run a million miles when you’re little and never get tired,” Max begins, and even though El has no idea what it’s like to have run freely as a child, she says “Mhm,” because this is not about her.

“Like, I’d just run and run down the beach… and I’d have to turn back to my mom or dad before I went too far or I’d get in trouble, but I’d think… the beach goes forever… what if I just didn’t stop. They couldn’t catch me. What if I could just run as far as I felt like..."

El grins. "Let's."

“Huh?”

El looks both ways and chooses the less crowded direction.

“Run with me.“ She picks up Max’s hand and tugs her to her feet.

"I can't run like that anymore.”

“So run like you can run now. I’ll help.”

El means she will use her powers to lift Max - not off the ground, but taking just a little weight off her legs to make it easier.

She used to do that a lot while helping Max learn to walk again, but sometimes she still does it on days when Max is hurting a lot. Only when she has permission, though. Sneaky help makes Max very angry.

Max gestures vaguely. "There's rocks and shit."

El rolls her eyes. Max knows El is careful never to let her get hurt. She is just making excuses because she worries she will look funny.

“I will take care of your feet. You just run."

Max hesitates, her mouth wanting to twist into a smile.

"Are those people looking?" she asks of the voices she can hear on the wind. She is always worried people are staring at her.

"No. And the only reason you ever get looked at is for being pretty." El jiggles her hand. "Come on. Run with me."

The smile wins over Max’s mouth, and she leans into a run.

It's more of a limpy jog, one that leans hard into El’s hand for support on some steps, even at half-weight. But El hopes it feels a little tiny bit like the carefree sprint Max had described.

El wishes she could see her face, but instead watches the sand, flicking anything hard out of the path of her feet.

"Ow," Max laughs. "Haha, ow, ow, shh-sh-shit."

They haven’t covered all that much ground before she loses steam, stumbling to a stop and leaning on El. But she is laughing and out of breath.

"What was that? Like three feet?" Max pants, dropping herself onto the sand.

El lodges her knees into the sand next to her. “No,” she laughs, “a million miles.”

“Does feel like it - oof.”

That was pushing it, maybe; Max will be sore. But El doesn't regret it. It was good for her.

She’s glad they did that.

She’s so proud of her, and so glad they’re here. Both of them.

El isn’t sure which one of them it happens for first, but their laughter peters out into - oh, it is happening now. They’re crying. She knee-walks closer and hugs Max hard.

"Max. We made it.” She kisses her head. “We made it.”

Max nods, fingers tightening at the back of her shirt.

This day isn’t exactly the way either of them dreamed it, but it is really here. She wishes she could go back and show it to the terrified girl she once promised it to.

"I told you so," she adds.

Max’s small laugh is muffled. "Yeah,” she answers, her voice wet. “Yeah, you did."

They stay wrapped tight together for a long time, faces tucked into each other to shelter their tears from the breeze.

#ficlet #elmax #mine #fic

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