false confessions | azriel
summary; you overhear azriel say something, and try to cooperate.
word count; 4595
notes; based on this ask, that I got a little carried away with!
"I love her, I really do." Az sighed, your heart swelling a little as you listened from where you were perched within the library, Nesta at your side. When you'd heard the men come in, you'd been intent on going to see your mate, but they'd been talking, Cassian had been deep into a story about him and Nesta, and your friend had been adamant about hearing it out. So, you'd let her grab your wrist, sneaking the two of you deeper into the library, hiding away between the shelves where even Azriel's shadows had not bothered to slip away and investigate.
"But?" Rhysand prompted, your heart skipping a beat in your chest at the pause that followed, the silence seeming to drag on.
"But... she's so clingy sometimes." Azriel exhaled the words on a breath, and Cassian snickered a little in response. "I just- sometimes I want my peace and quiet, and it just feels like whenever we're together, she's right on top of me at home, we never just.. do our own thing."
Your stomach twisted, and Nesta's fingers tightened around your wrist as she was still gripping it. All playfulness was gone, though. She let go a second later, straightening up and brushing down her skirts primly, pausing only when you grasped her in response, shaking your head. You knew that your friend would defend you to the ends of the earth if you asked, but you didn't want her to. This wasn't her problem, or anyone else's, it was yours.
You were spinning, mind feeling like it was going a million miles an hour, the way it felt to fly home with Azriel when drunk after a night at Rita’s, while your stomach twisted the way it did the morning after said nights out. You weren’t sure where this problem had come from, up until now, you’d always thought Azriel liked the affectionate side of you, the part that just couldn't get enough of him. Clearly, that was not the case.
Your eyes tracked the movements of Azriel's shadows as they slithered out further, lazily, but inching ever closer to you and Nesta's position. Slowly, in an attempt not to get caught at all, you snuck backwards, taking her with you. Manoeuvring through the stacks, you stayed hidden, the two of you slipping out through the back exit and unseen, and in silence.
Only once their voices had entirely faded and you were slowing your pace between the twists and turns of the corridors did Nesta finally let a loud and obscene curse slip from her lips. "I'm gonna' kick ten tons of shit out of them all."
"No." The word was icy on your tongue, and her head snapped to you, You gave a soft wince in apology. "I'm not mad at him."
"What? Why not?"
"Because.. he's right. I am clingy, I just thought he liked that. I thought he liked when we were together, I never sensed anything otherwise down the bond, perhaps he's just good at hiding it. But, you heard him, he doesn't like it, so it's down to me to stop." You shrugged, but it didn't stop the stinging in your throat, and you slammed up walls at your end of the bond, hoping the hurt beginning to build hadn't yet leaked across to reach him.
"What I heard," Nesta muttered, ice on her own voice as her arms crossed angrily over her chest, "was my mate chuckling his smug little ass off at the comment. Jerk. He can sleep in another bed tonight." She was equally as angry, on your behalf, and you grinned a little at the affection she displayed for you.
"You don't have to do that."
"It's for me. He doesn't get to gossip about things like this behind my back. I wonder how many things I have done that irritate him that he's never told me, simply choosing to whine about it to those other bats." She hissed the word out like an insult, and you couldn't find fault in her logic. "I'd bet Feyre would agree."
"Would agree with what?" You both jumped, rather violently, approaching the dinner hall where said sister was sitting comfortably, a sketchbook and some charcoals out in front of herself, brows raised. Nesta didn't hesitate, stalking across the room and offering her daemati sister her hand. Brushing off charcoal on her skirt, she took it gently, gasping a second later after replaying the memory. "Those... those jerks!”
“That’s what I said!” Nesta burst, hands on her hips, and only the soft cooing of her nephew was enough to replace the scowl she wore with a slight smile. Your attention remained fixed on Feyre as she processed the covert conversation you’d secretly witnessed.
“No wonder Rhys locked me out, I didn't think much of it, boy talk, but this kind of boy talk?" She frowned, offering a sympathetic look your way, and the solidarity of your friends made you feel that much better. You rubbed your temples, swallowing again thickly, the weight of it all beginning to bring you down a little. "Fey, can you just take me home?"
"Of course, Nesta will watch Nyx for a moment, right?" His auntie was already leaning over his bassinet, tapping the tip of his nose teasingly as the baby babbled happily in return. With a hand in hers, Feyre took you home, a warm hug and a chastising word about their behaviour, her parting gift, before leaving you alone in the house belonging to you and your mate.
The house was quiet when you were alone, the middle of the day meaning you would be alone for quite a while yet, leaving you plenty of time to decide on your course of action. You glanced around, somehow feeling out of place within your own home. It all felt.. different, somehow.
Were you mad? No, only sad, and so retaliation didn't seem fair.
Sure, you were upset he'd talk to his friends about it rather than simply tell you, but Azriel had always struggled with 'talking about it', and had never wanted to hurt you. Emotionally inept at times, perhaps this was simply his way of trying to protect your feelings. A conversation you were never supposed to hear, a hurt you were never supposed to feel, because your mate was simply putting up with it to let you feel better.
You couldn’t have that. This relationship wasn’t supposed to be about secret sacrifices, it was supposed to be about trust and love and mutual respect. You’d sworn it when finding out your mates, and sworn it again at the ceremony, and you tried to hold it up every day. Azriel wanted to spare your feelings, and now, you’d spare his, too.
It was hours before he returned, and you’d found yourself slipping back into your regular routine, making everything feel normal again by sticking to what you knew. You were unloading ingredients, cooking a comfort meal for yourself, when your mate returned home.
You first caught the tell-tale sign of feet hitting the ground outside from the sky, then steps got closer and closer up the pathway, before finally, the door opening and closing.
By the time you heard him taking off his boots and hanging up his coat, you'd found it within yourself to muster a reasonably convincing smile, and shake away any lingering thoughts about it. You are doing this for Azriel, to make him happy, to love him the way he’d loved you for years, without ever telling you. Your body twitched, aching to move to him like you always did, to greet him at the door with a kiss, with a hug, with something, and you firmly rooted your feet to the ground. After a pause, clearly anticipating what you now realised was an unwanted overload of affection, Azriel left the entry, stepping through the large open-arc into the kitchen.
"Hello, my love.." You only smiled, ignoring the curious tone in his voice, brushing your hands down the front of your apron. "What have you been up to today?"
"I saw Nesta."
"Oh?" He paused by your side, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek, and you tipped your face to the side receiving it, but made no move for more the way you usually would.
"She gave me a couple of new books, and said she’d return the other ones." You only hoped he simply hadn't noticed that the book pile on the coffee table had not, in fact, changed at all. He didn't glance over, and you moved away, to the food laid out ready to be prepared for dinner.
"Are you alright, my love? You don't seem quite like yourself, tonight.”
You redirected your glance to the vegetables, only nodding in response, and taking a deep breath to force another smile. "I'm just fine, don't worry, just a little tired today."
He lingered for a second, before nodding himself, offering a smile in return, and a flush of reassuring love down the bond. You let it in, letting it warm you from the inside out. So, this is what he wanted, he had noticed and was already responding better. It was both relieving and painful. He rolled up his sleeves, taking another step closer to you. "What are we making? What can I do to help?"
"Not a thing, I've got it here, don't worry." His head shot up, brows furrowing once again, and your hand almost reached out, wishing to smooth that spot between on his face that had wrinkled with the frown. He noticed this time, the slight raise of your hand before you lowered it.
"But, I thought you liked it when we cooked together? You said you like how I can tell you about my day, while we make dinner." It's true, you had said that, but that was just another one of the events you'd forced upon him, wasn't it? Another act where he wanted to do his own thing, but was instead beholden to your wishes.
"I do, but we don't have to cook together every night. I'm fine here, I was just in my thoughts, is all. You could tell me about your day while we eat?” A flash of hurt travelled across his face, as though you were rejecting him, and so it was your turn to send a pulse of love down the bond to him. He tugged in response, pulling a smile from you, a real one, the way it always did when he did that.
With a kiss placed on your forehead, he left in silence a moment later. Not long after, his footsteps were on the stairs, bath filling in the bathroom, and you let out a sigh at his absence.
He returned in time for dinner, one of his shadows had been left behind, not-so-subtly lingering near the chopping boards to monitor you, and so you'd been careful about making sure to seem positively chipper until he returned. He helped carry everything through to the table, commenting gently under his breath about how good it all looked, and you thanked him as you poured wine, letting him serve food for you both onto your respective plates.
Taking opposite seats, the lull lasted not a full second, before Azriel was diving right into a spirited recap of his day:
"Rhysand and Cassian are in the doghouse." You almost slipped with your wine glass as you took a nerve-soothing sip, and Azriel was smirking as he chopped his chicken up, lifting a piece on his fork to his lips, awaiting your response.
"Oh? And why is that?" You followed suit, hoping your tone didn't give it away, already knowing exactly why they were upset. All three of you had felt a little betrayed by their conversation behind your backs.
"Not a clue. All I know is that after we finished our discussion, Nesta and Feyre wanted nothing to do with either. Rhys was all 'Feyre, darling, I was thinking we could catch dinner on the Sidra tonight, I made a reservation'," Azriel mocked his best friend's voice, and genuine laughter spilt from you, his eyes glittering a little and the bond between you humming once again. "And then Feyre said 'I was thinking I'd rather spend the evening with anyone else, right now, actually'. He was speechless. As were Cass and I."
He was so excited to share the gossip, like it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened, and the thought that perhaps this wouldn't be so hard crossed your mind. The same Azriel, the same you, just with less.. togetherness. Less touching. Perhaps, it would even make the times together and the touches even more special than you'd always thought they were. "And Cassian?"
"Even worse. He was in the midst of laughing at Rhys' shocked face when Nesta all but removed his balls in front of us." He took a swig of his wine, and you placed a piece of chicken into your mouth, excited to hear just how she'd unleashed that anger she'd been holding when you'd last seen her. "She said, 'oh, laugh it up, bat boy. See how much you're laughing when you're laying in bed alone tonight, nothing but your right hand to keep you company'."
That made your jaw drop, Azriel's deep laughter permeating the air at your reaction, and you felt proud of your friend, even if you did feel a little bad for Cassian. That's what they get for complaining behind their mates' backs instead of being honest.
"So, Feyre then proceeded to thank Rhysand for the reservation, take both Nyx and Nesta and winnow away without another word. Presumably to said reservation for a lovely sisterly dinner." Az shrugged, turning back to his food, and you sipped at your wine. Good for them. "When I left, Rhys and Cass were grumbling at the dinner table, trying to work out what they'd done wrong."
That sent a pang of pain shooting back through your chest, but you quickly suppressed it quickly, beginning to tell him all about your own day, and your suddenly-made plans to go shopping instead of sitting at home with him all day tomorrow. He didn't object, only encouraged you.
After dinner, with plates cleared away and wine glasses refilled, you'd both moved to the living room, a quiet night planned as he settled onto the couch, book in hand, opening his action-packed thriller to the page he'd left off at as you stoked the fire idly, stocking a few more logs on.
When there was nothing more you could do to it, you stood, brushing down your skirts and leaving the room, not missing the trail of his eyes after you, or the sweep of one of his shadows, trying to curl around your ankle as you hurried through the house and up the stairs. You had planned to simply settle into bed, let your mind spin and wander, but with his watchful little trick giving you it's full-attention, you were forced to move through your preparations for bed, and follow its lead when it wrapped itself around your wrist, tugging you back downstairs.
When you returned, Azriel's glass was empty, book still open, but his gaze was on the doorway as you walked through it. "Where'd you go?"
"I thought I'd prepare for bed before reading tonight, seeing as I'm so tired, that way I can get in bed as soon as the need arises." Your hands locked in front of yourself, and dipped his head in a gesture toward your book pile.
"Will you sit with me and read for a while, then?"
"Of course." What were you supposed to do, say no? You were giving him space, but when he asked you to stay, who were you to deny it? Picking up the book from the top of the pile, you settled down into the large armchair on one side of the table, perpendicular to the couch Azriel sat on. As you opened your book, his snapped shut, and he let out a rough sigh.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm reading." You teased, waving your book at him, but he was not in such a playful mood, it seemed.
"I see that. Why are you doing it over there?"
You faltered. What now? Confess to hearing him, or continue to spare his feelings the way he had been sparing yours for years. The choice seemed clear. "Sitting closer to the fire, so I don't get cold."
"You never get cold, because you sit with me. You sit here, and if you get cold, I wrap a wing around you, and you get that cute little blush on your face and make one of those jokes about Illyrians being built warmer for those 'damn cold mountains'. So, why are you sitting over there?"
Busted. You worried your lower lip, trying to decide exactly what to say, but he beat you to it, his face crumpling a little as realisation washed over him.
"You heard us in the library." It wasn't a question, no, it was a statement. A fact, he knew it. Your mate was far too intelligent and deductive for his own good, sometimes. He put down his book, crossing the room in a flash, and removing yours from your hold too. He slipped down to one knee before you, grasping your hands in his, and he gaped for a few moments, no words coming. "I didn't mean it," was what he settled on.
"'Course you did, Az. It's okay." You squeezed his hands lightly, and he gripped back firmer, like you might pull away from him if he didn't hold on. "I was a little upset to know you'd rather tell your friends than simply tell me if something I was doing was bothering you, but you're allowed to be bothered by things."
"No, I didn't mean it, my love. Please, don't take it to heart." There was a pleading under his voice, like he thought this might drive a wedge between you both, and you pried one hand free to sit comfortingly over his cheek. His head tipped into the touch.
"Az, it's okay, really. Not everything is always going to be perfect between us, but in future, if I do something you don't like, just tell me, okay?"
"No, no, no.." He was panicking now, so much so that the fear was beginning to ripple down the bond, you couldn't just hear it in his voice but feel it ricocheting through your own chest. Cold, like shards of ice. "Everything is perfect, and that is the problem. Rhys was complaining about all the changes with Nyx. About how he loves his son so much, but lately, Feyre hasn't even wanted to touch him, and she's had such mood swings because of the sleepless nights, he's frazzled. One minute she's coming onto him, the next she's snapping at him because he didn't kiss her just right. Cassian was complaining because Nesta is so fiercely independent and he loves it, but when all that overprotective side of him kicks in and she snaps at him for going full-Cass-mode on her, he hates it. He wishes sometimes she'd just let him clean her wounds and treat her gently."
You didn't know quite what to say, confusion filling you, and he pressed on, pushed a little closer, never letting your gaze slip from his, holding you captive with it.
"Then they were looking at me, like I was supposed to say something, anything. Like, they'd been vulnerable about things they couldn't tell their mates without feeling embarrassed, as though it was my turn. I couldn't think of anything, because, baby, everything is perfect. All I wanted to say was, 'can't relate, Rhysand; maybe one day but not today. Can't relate Cassian; my girl protects me as much as I protect her, we fuss over each other'. I didn't want to upset them, and I realised what they wanted was clingy, the kind of clingy we have, the kind of clingy I love. So, I tried to tell them it wasn't all it seemed, so they'd feel better."
His thumbs soothed over your knuckles, the only sounds between you being the popping of the fire and the ticking of the large clock, until you sighed. He leaned down, kissing the hand still clutched in his own, before twisting to press a kiss to the palm on his cheek before you could retract it.
"It damn near broke my heart when you didn't greet me at the door tonight. It's my favourite part of getting up in the morning, knowing that when I come home, you'll come flying into my arms, and show me so much love, a kind of love I never thought I'd have. But you didn't, you said you were fine, though. I worried you were mad at me, too. You didn't want to cook together, I hated that, because I like being part of the things you like. You didn't kiss me, you haven't kissed me all night, I miss it. I miss it so much. You didn't hold my hand at dinner, and now you won't sit with me. I'm worried, my love. I'm scared, you have to believe me."
He raised his free hand, sitting it tenderly over your jaw, just like you did for him, swiping his thumb delicately back and forth across your cheekbone. It was an act you adored so much, something he knew brought you peace and comfort, and at this moment, it was doing just that. You could feel the fear in his words as it echoed in your chest, the desperation as he waited for your response. Lifting the hand from his cheek, his gaze tracked the movement, watching your hand hover for a split second over his head. He didn't let the half-second become a full one. He took your hand, lacing it into his hair where it had been headed, your fingernails scratching over his scalp in the soothing way he loved so much.
"Always touch me. Never hesitate. I don't care if we're at dinner or on a battlefield, but your touch, your attention, your love is everything. Never stop." His eyes fluttered closed in bliss, but he was still tense. "Just say you forgive me."
"I do not, because there's nothing to forgive." His breath hitched at the beginning of your sentence, eyes snapping open wide, and you leaned forward to rest your forehead on his. "Next time, come up with something that's not going to hurt my feelings, even if I shouldn't be eavesdropping."
He smirked at that, nose brushing yours and he laughed breathily. "Next time, I'm just going to take the teasing and let them know how utterly fucking hard in love I am."
"Well, that works too." You smiled, before he was sitting up more, raising from his one knee and pressing his hands underneath your body. "What are you doing?"
"Moving you so we can sit together."
"I'll just come to the couch-"
"Won't be close enough, now." He muttered, scooping you up enough to settle into the wing-designed chair, and situating you sideways across his lap as your eyes rolled. He left a soft bite to your covered shoulder in response. "Don't roll your eyes at me, you had me freaking out. I thought you weren't going to forgive me. I thought you weren't going to.. to be the you that I love, anymore.."
"Yes, well, that's over now." You leaned in, kissing the tip of his nose for emphasis, but uncertain eyes found yours again.
"You mean it?"
"I do." You pressed another kiss to his jaw, fingernails moving back to rake through the thick black hair on the top of his head.
"You'll greet me at the door tomorrow with a kiss?" Mm-hm. "You'll let me cook with you?" Your lips moved up to his cheek, nuzzling there sweetly as you left little pecks across his skin, mm-hm. "You'll hold my hand at the table, and play footsie, and you'll curl up on the couch with me after?" Mm-hm, your kisses reached the corner of his mouth, and you felt it twitch into a smile underneath your lips. "You'll cuddle with me in bed tonight?"
"And every other night, for the rest of our lives."
Something akin to adoration raced through your chest, filling every part of you. Despite his pink-tinged cheeks, Azriel was confident in his requests, hazel eyes shining as he looked at you. "And you'll kiss me, you'll hold me, every time you want to. Promise me, you'll never hide your affection from me, promise me you'll show me your love for as long as you feel it for me?"
"As long as you promise the same to me." He nodded, vehemently, sealing the deal with an urgent kiss, and you felt a tingling mark forming on the back of your neck, alongside the mating bond you'd made together so many years ago. Another promise formed, to be held forever.
His lips worked against your own, fingers slipping from where they sat on your cheek to smooth up, no longer running his fingers gently along your jaw but tracing soft tips over the patch on your neck. His lips became a smile in the kiss, teasing and sweet, a breathy sound slipping from you as he nipped at your lower.
“We should go upstairs.” He whispered, and your arms looped around his neck, prepared for the movement that was so come as he began to shuffle toward the edge of the seat. Raising with you in his arms, he walked a path he was familiar with, your lips beginning to trace his cheekbone the way his thumb had yours moments prior, when a sudden thought crossed your mind. You gasped, sitting up stock straight and Azriel paused at the base of the stairs, brows raising, half-lidded eyes attempting to focus at your reaction. “What is it, my love?”
“We.. we have to go and tell Nesta and Feyre we worked things out.” Azriel stared for a moment, before a blinding grin was splitting across his face. It was more than a smile, it was amused and cheeky and youthful in a way he rarely showed, only in moments like this where the two of you were truly alone, when he let himself be vulnerable. A deep chuckle followed, before he was moving again, climbing the stairs with you in his arms, smile becoming a smirk.
“So you’re the reason my brothers are in such trouble, huh?” He leaned down, nipping at the shell of your ear as he backed his way into your bedroom, kicking the door shut behind himself. Dropping you down onto the bed, enough to be able to crawl toward you as you backed up into the pillows, he didn’t let up with the wicked stare. “Let it be, we can tell them tomorrow. Consider tonight a punishment for complaining.”
“Were you not technically part of that conversation, Az? Should you not also be punished?” Your words held no threat, and he knew it too, because he only dipped his head down once he was supporting himself above you. His lips dragged over your skin, up from your chin to the shell of your ear, only to whisper;
“Oh, I think I've been punished enough for tonight. I can come up with some much more fun things for us to do..”
feysand, nessian and elriel
art: @aiphos / aiphos.s
Caring /// Azriel X F!Reader
Summary: “heyy! can i get an azriel x reader fic where she’s taking care of him like cleaning his wings and washing his hair and all while he tells her about his day? like super fluffy and cute and domestic. thank you bby and feel free to drop this request if you don’t feel like writing it <3”
Word Count: 970
Notes: Thank you @cityofidek for requesting this, I loved writing it. Fluff Az is everything to me ❤️❤️❤️
My eyes followed the words on the page, the book Nesta recommended was exciting, a little too obscene but it was the kind of book that made you devour the pages, eager for more as the story progressed. My hand gripped the cushion as the storyline came to an unexpected turn, the lead female having to decided between saving her lover or herself.
I wasn’t aware of my surroundings neither that i was holding my breath until Azriel’s voice sounded in the doorway, my chest rising rapidly as I closed the book, my eyes looking away from the pages and landing on my mate. My mouth fell open and my eyes were so wide that they almost popped out my eye socket.
“Oh Mother, what happened to you?” I breathed out as i kept looking up and down him, he was a mess, he had mud covering his body, some droplets of blood on his face, his hair completely disheveled and a shy smile on his lips.
“We decided to train outside Velaris, maybe fly a little, but suddenly started to rain and Cassian thought that it was a good idea and he started a mud fight.” Azriel eyed me from behind his lashes, like a child trying not to be scolded, my ears finally hearing the soft tapping of the rain on the windows.
“The three of you are really Illyrian babies, aren’t you?” I giggled at him and got up, discarding the book on my previous seat and walking towards him. “Let’s get you cleaned, baby boy.” He happily let me take his dirty hand and guide him to the main bathroom.
He stripped his clothes off while I filled the bathtub, choosing some of my favorite scents and shaking the water to form bubbles, sitting on the side of the tub, I waited for Az to climb in, his big body splashing water as he submerged his head.
He rose again, bubbles on his hair as I reached for the shampoo bottle, applying some in my hand and starting to rub his hair, he rested his head on my lap, I didn’t care about getting wet, as he already had me soaking when he entered the tub.
“How was your day my love?” My hands gently washed through his locks, his hair falling adorably on his forehead while he kept his eyes closed.
“We didn’t feel like training in the House of Wind today, so we just headed to the woods.” I lifted my eyebrows, they loved the space and how practical the sparring ring was there.”
“There was something wrong with the House?”His eyes opened a little and his cheeks were colored on a bright red, i leaned down, kissing the tip of his nose as he looked adorable that way.
“Nesta and the Valkyries wanted to do solo training, so she kicked us out.” I snorted and he smiled, picturing Nesta with her hands resting on her hips while she sent them away. “So the woods seemed a good idea, we used to go there to train when we were young.” I removed the shampoo and grabbed a cloth, soaking it with soap and moved, getting behind him to clean his chest and wings.
Azriel’s lips parted and a breathy moan escaped him, the cloth dragging on his wings, rubbing the spots where the mud had dried out, I knew that his wings were sensitive in a sexual way, but in these intimate moments, where we just did something together and listened to each other, this kind of touch never turned him on, he just hummed and enjoyed the comfort he would feel as my finger slid on his wings, the feeling of love suffocating the lust, he felt safe when I did that.
“We were doing a intense training when the first drops of rain fell, and suddenly it was a whole thunderstorm, the heavy drops soothing my sore muscles. Mud start flying everywhere as our feet hit the ground.” My hands got down his chest, cleaning his collarbone and shoulders, his head turned to the side and he placed a kiss on my arm. “Then Cassian fell on his ass, Rhys and i stopped and started laughing at him, you should have seen his face, he was so mad that he grabbed a hand full of mud, throwing at Rhysand, and he just did the same and we ended up hiding in the woods trying to hit the other.”
“Did you win?” His smile widened and he opened his eyes, looking at me.
“Not to brag, but I’m sure Rhysand and Cassian are still removing mud from their mouths right now.” I giggled and he rested his head against my arm.
“I knew you would beat those two losers.” I joked and Az laughed, his chest rising and the sound reverberating on the walls. “I think you’re all set, mister.” I said getting up and heading to our bedroom to find something for him to wear. He showed up behind me, the towel wrapped around his waist while he dried his hair with another, I gave him his clothes and got to the bathroom to clean the mess.
Changing clothes, I hopped on bed with him, pulling him closer until his head rested on my chest, one of my hands resting on his back and the other one caressing his hair, I could feel the slowly rising of his chest as he started drifting to sleep, his tired body gaining it’s deserved rest as i hummed, singing to him, a melody that I heard once the bond snapped, the kind of melody that tells me that I finally found my home.
Ooooh do number 13 please!
(I swear I’m not writing these angst-ridden fics on purpose, it’s just the fate of the numbers! I like to imagine this has a happy ending though, and I will leave it open for a possible part two to make up for hurting our poor bat boy so bad! I know it’s not super long but I hope you guys like it <3)
#13 - Boyfriends by Harry Styles
Can't You See? (Azriel x Reader)
Summary// Azriel had been your friend since you came to the IC. He was always there for you as you were for him, the two of you a package deal anywhere you went. Many people speculated about a hidden mating bond, friends with benefits, and all sorts of gossip, but the unfortunate truth was you were taken by someone else. Someone who didn’t deserve you. And it was his own personal hell to watch you go into his arms every night.
WARNINGS: Angst, cheating, crying, alcohol, verbal abuse, bad relationships, insecurities
Azriel had connected with you the moment you were welcomed to the Inner Circle. The two of you were compatible in all aspects, drawing each other out in different ways that were so natural even Cassian and Rhysand were shocked. You were quick to latch onto his side, which he never minded, and in the first month of your arrival, Azriel had found himself slowly falling for you.
Until one night, at Rita’s, he watched you bring in your boyfriend.
He swiftly put his mask on so that you weren’t worried. You introduced Azriel as, “my best friend” to him with the brightest smile on your face, while your boyfriend couldn’t even spare a passing glance at him. It took all of the two minutes of meeting him to know that he would never like him, and as time went on, Azriel’s dislike grew to bitter resentment and hatred.
You couldn’t see the way your boyfriend’s eyes sought out other women in the room, how he talked over you when you got excited about something, how he so plainly held no regard for your feelings. It made Azriel sick to watch, and after many nights where you had run into his arms after an argument with your boyfriend, he knew he needed to speak up.
“Y/N,” He began as you pulled back to look at him, your eyes shiny and nose slightly red from how upset you were. “I…why are you staying with him? I can’t imagine that you’re happy and you, I mean, anyone deserves to be treated with more respect and love than what he is giving.”
His eyes analyzed your reaction, how you shifted away and looked down in defeat. Azriel felt a slight pang of guilt from being so upfront, but it hurt to see you in so much pain, it needed to be said. He didn’t know why he cared so much, didn’t want to search through those feelings at the moment, but you needed to see what everyone else saw.
“I…” You said before taking a shuttering breath, playing with your fingers as your boyfriend’s words taunted you in your head. “It’s not his fault, I shouldn’t have gone out. He has every right to be mad.”
“What? Are you even hearing yourself right now?” Azriel replied, his eyebrows raised in shock. “Y/N, he just yelled and kicked you out in the middle of a storm for having a drink with friends. That is not-”
“Stop, Az, just stop.” You snapped, your embarrassment turning to anger. “I shouldn’t have done it. I know he hates it, and I did it anyway, so I just need to listen next time. If I had just stayed home, he wouldn’t have been mad.”
“And what about next time? When you wear the wrong color and he yells at you for it, or you forget to put away your books and he throws them into the fire?” He countered, crossing his arms over his chest. “You deserve-”
“Stop saying that!” You yelled, shoving yourself off of the bed with your fists balled up at your side. “I don’t deserve better. Look at me! I have nothing to offer, nothing to give to someone, and if it weren’t for him, I would be out on the streets begging.”
Azriel was taken aback by your outburst, especially your words. You had never yelled at him before, and the things you were saying…did you truly believe that? Do you really see yourself that way?
You bitterly rubbed the tears falling down your cheeks away, your voice cracking as you wrapped your arms around yourself. “I know what he does, how he lies to me. I think about it every night and every time I think I can leave, that maybe I do deserve better…he reminds me of what I am. Where I came from.”
He didn’t realize his hand had reached towards you until you took a step back. You stared at it hard, your heart so desperately wanting to reach out and just be accepted for once, but before you could even speak on those feelings, you heard the door open below you.
“Y/N?” Your boyfriend yelled, not caring about the rest of the sleeping patrons. “Y/N, come on, I know you’re here. We’re leaving, let’s go.”
That illusion you had painted in your mind shattered, as did Azriel’s heart, as you took a moment to hug him deeply.
It felt like a goodbye.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” You whispered into his neck, mesmerizing his scent before you let him go. “Maybe a different time or place, a different me, but you deserve someone better, Azriel. Not the mess I am.”
And before he could reach out for you, tell you how wrong you were and his true feelings, you vanished and the door closed behind you with an echo that rattled him to the bone.
Azriel sat there, the thunder rumbling around once more before he abruptly stood and threw on the first clothes he could find. You were wrong about him, about you, and he wouldn’t let you go that easily.
This wasn’t the end of your story. That much was certain.
When Spring Turns To Night (Part Two)
Summary: Az is on his regular rotation of the Spring Court when he stumbles upon a battered young female running through the forest only to learn that this female is his mate, but the bond only snaps for him.
Azriel x Reader
Warnings: None that I can think of, please let me know if I missed anything.
Word Count: 2214
A/N: Thank you all so much for the love on this! Honestly, I am blown away and cannot wait to add to this story! I am hoping to have another 1 - 2 parts out next week but we shall see!
(Part One) (Part Two)
He pulled me into a tight hug and I winced, he immediately stepped back holding my shoulders and looking at me. I stood completely still, I was shocked to see Lucien of all people here.
“What happened?” he said sternly.
“My father” I whispered feeling ashamed, I looked up to see the concern on his face. “I’m okay though” nodding he dropped his arms back to his sides. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s a long story, I’ll fill you in later” he smirked and looked behind me, I turned to see Rhysand and Feyre watching me quizzically. My eyes landed on Azriel and his face was completely blank while he watching me, his shadows were swirling around him in an agitated manner.
“Lucien and I go way back, I come from a wealthy family in the Spring Court and my father worked closely with Tamlin” I explained simply not wanting to get into all the details in front of everyone else.
“Shall we head to my office then Y/N?” Rhysand announced and I nodded following along behind him with Feyre and Azriel in tow. We approached large double doors and stepped into an office, a large oak desk was in the middle with a large leather chair sitting behind it and two smaller matching leather chairs sitting in front. I watched as Rhysand and Feyre headed to the larger chair, he sat and she placed herself gently on his lap. I took a seat in one of the smaller chairs while Azriel took a seat in the other one, I looked at Rhysand unsure of where to start.
“What happened?” Feyre was the one to ask with such concern on her face.
“This is going to be a long story” I sighed. “My father owns the Tavern in the village closest to the Manor, I’ve been working there for as long as I can remember and that’s how I met Lucien.” Pausing I watched Feyre processing this.
“That means you’re part of the Y/L/N family?” she asked shocked.
“Unfortunately” I looked down at my hands. “My father was trying to find me a husband and someone to take over running the business because he is getting too old to run it alone.”
“Why not give it to you?” Rhysand asked.
“He does not believe a female should own a business, he thinks females are only good for producing children and taking care of their husbands and children. When I refused he got extremely angry and took his anger out on me. That’s when I used my powers to distract him and I ran. I hadn’t gotten far when Azriel found me.” I said looking at him, he was seething with anger his shadows were thrumming around him.
“That’s terrible I’m so sorry” Feyre said gently watching me closely.
“That is an awful way to treat your own daughter” Rhysand stated and then asked, “what sort of powers do you have?”
“Air manipulation” I stated with a flick of my wrist the room was filled with a gentle spring breeze that smelled of fresh flowers. “I can also alter the growth of plants, I mostly use that to keep the flowers I collect alive for longer” I laughed sheepishly, Rhysand and Feyre nodded thoughtfully while Azriel’s eyes never left my face.
“You are welcome to stay in Velaris, Azriel will show you to the townhouse where you can stay. I doubt you will want to stay up at the house and rely on Azriel, Cassian or myself to fly you to and from.” Rhysand lifted an eyebrow in question and laughed as I shook my head. “I’m sure Az would be happy to stay in the Townhouse with you” Rhysand smirked at Azriel causing him to fidget in his seat and the slightest blush crept over his cheeks.
“Only if that’s something you want Y/N” Azriel said not taking his eyes off me studying my reaction.
“Of course” I blushed looking at Azriel and he smiled. I turned back towards Rhysand and Feyre “Thank you, but I have nothing to give you in return” I sighed as the realisation of what I had done hit me, I had left everything behind.
“Don’t worry about that, please just rest and heal before even entertaining that idea” Feyre said as she smiled at me, I couldn’t help but smile back. I felt calm and safe for the first time in a long time.
“Would you like me to bring you to the Townhouse?” Azriel asked.
“Yes please” I said while yawning. He smirked as he stood up from the chair, I followed him and said goodbye to Rhysand and Feyre.
“Don’t forget Az, you’re supposed to go to Windhaven with Cassian tomorrow?” Rhysand said.
“I haven’t forgotten” Azriel said in a clipped tone and stalked out the door, I gave Feyre a confused looked and she just shook her head as if to say He’ll explain later. I nodded and followed behind Azriel waving goodbye to everyone in the sitting room and stepping out the front door. “Did you want to fly from here or walk around Velaris a bit first?” he asked watching me carefully.
“Let’s walk, I wanna see my new home” I smiled up at him and he began leading me along the river while I looked around taking in all the lights and noise and happy people.
“This is the Sidra” he motioned towards the water. I couldn’t help but stare out at the open expanse of water, I had never seen anything like this before. It was breathtakingly beautiful and I was in complete awe.
“It’s beautiful” I whispered quietly not removing my eyes from the view in front of me.
“One day if you’d like I can fly you above it, it’s even more beautiful from up there” he said looking up at the sky and smiling.
“I’d love that” I smiled up at him, and I saw the corner of his mouth twitch up slightly. “Azriel?” I asked.
“Mmm?” was his response, he seemed to be lost in thought.
“I just wanted to thank you, for everything.” I paused and watched as he turned his full attention to me. “I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t found me” I shuddered at the thought and he stepped closer to me. “You saved my life.”
“You do not need to thank me Y/N, I’m just glad I was there and that I have the opportunity to get to know you” he smiled down at me opening his arms and offering me a hug, I stepped into his arms wrapping mine around his waist. His strong arms pulled me closer to him as I was met by the scent of night-chilled mist and cedar I smiled and nuzzled my head closer into his chest.
After a few seconds, I could feel my hair shift realising that his shadows were also wrapping themselves around me flittering through my hair and along my arms. The smile that was on my face grew bigger as a feeling of rightness fell over me. We stood like that for a while before he pulled away from me. “Shall we continue on?” I nodded and felt him place his hand on my lower back guiding me along. We continued walking through the streets of Velaris, he pointed out different locations that he enjoyed like his favourite coffee shop as well as a place called Rita’s where he and his friends go for drinks. We spent the walk talking and laughing with each other, stealing glances and brushing our arms against each other. We finally arrived at the Townhome and he opened the door for me, I stepped inside looking around it was styled very similar to the House of Wind and the River House, it was very warm and welcoming and I couldn’t help but smile. He showed me around the place, we stopped in front of a wooden door.
“This will be your room” he said opening the door for me, his shadows entered the room before I could even step through the threshold. I looked at him in question. “Sorry they sometimes have a mind of their own, they wanted to check that the room was safe.” he ran his hand through his ebony hair nervously.
“That is very thoughtful of them” I smiled at him placing my hand on his arm and stepping through the door. I stood watching his shadows search the corners of the room, as a few of them wrapped around my ankles and wrists and I held out my hand as one slithered its way to my palm and danced around my fingers. “Thank you for protecting me” I spoke to the shadows and they all seemed to move quicker in appreciation.
“No one ever acknowledges them” Azriel remarked while studying the way I interacted with them.
“Why?” I simply asked not moving my eyes from the shadow.
“Honestly I think most people are afraid of them” he said sadly.
“Well, I’m not” looking over at him I grinned. “I find them fascinating.”
“The feeling seems to be mutual” he laughed as more of the shadows began swirling around me and I couldn’t help but let out a giggle as they tickled me. Once they began to settle, I looked around the room and saw two doors Azriel had followed my line of sight and said. “That’s the bathing chamber” pointing to one of the doors “and through that door is the closet which should already have clothes in it for you.” I nodded and let out a small yawn. “I’ll let you get some sleep.”
“Thank you again Az” I smiled up at him and could have sworn his cheeks were flushed.
“I will be gone for most of tomorrow, but I’m sure Feyre will stop by at some point” he said smiling. “Have a good sleep Y/N and my room is just down the hall if you need anything at all!”
“Sleep well Azriel” I smiled at him as he left my room, his shadows trailing behind him. All except for the one still in my palm I watched as it gently warped around my wrist like a bracelet. “Thank you for staying with me” I whispered to it and it spun around my wrist a few times which I interpreted as its way of saying you’re welcome. I changed into some sleep clothes I found in the closet and crawled into bed falling asleep instantly.
“Y/N?” I heard Azriel’s voice as I opened my eyes looking at him confused. “It’s okay, you were having a nightmare” he says gently as he pushes the hair from my face.
“Wh…what?” I croaked as I tried to process what was happening.
“I heard you screaming and came in to find you shaking and crying in your sleep” he said and I lifted my hand to my damp cheek.
“Oh” I mumbled feeling embarrassed. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Don’t be sorry!” he said sternly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I was back there, my father was so mad” I sniffled as I pulled my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around them.
“Oh Y/N I’m so sorry” he sat beside me on the bed and opened his arms for me and I crawled into his lap as he held me close running a soothing hand up and down my back.
“He hated me, he probably hates me even more now. Or he’s hoping I’m dead.” the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could even realise I was thinking them, and more tears stung my eyes and began pouring down my face. Azriel pulled me closer to him and began running his hand through my hair. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. He held me until we both fell asleep and when I awoke the next more he was gone. I found a note on the pillow next to me.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up. On a short mission for Rhys. Feyre is stopping by in the morning to show you around Velaris some more.
I’ll be back later on tonight, have a good day!
I smiled as I pushed the blankets off me and headed to the bathing chamber to get ready for the day. I took a quick bath then headed into the closet and pulled on an outfit similar to what I wore the day before.
There was a knock at the front door, opening it I found Feyre standing there smiling at me.
“Good morning Y/N, I brought breakfast” she said holding up two cups of coffee and a bag of something, letting her in we headed to the sitting room and sat down.
“You didn’t have to do that” I said smiling at her.
“I know, but I wanted to!” her eyes sparkled and I couldn’t help but smile at her, we spent the next hour getting to know each other over coffee and breakfast. She told me all about her life as a human and I told her all about growing up in the Spring Court.
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Soothing Darkness - Azriel X reader fanfic
Summary: Starfall is here. Y/N decides she needs some space so goes to find her own place to watch...
Warnings: talks of past trauma, swearing and fluff
AN: Eeeek so I love this!! I hope you love it as much as me ❤️⭐
“Stop fidgeting” Nesta snarled at you as she completed the finishing touches to your hair. She let the ringlets fall down your back pulling the loose strands away from your face. The dress she was letting you borrow was like nothing you had worn before. It was a dark blue, almost black in some lights and floor length. The material sparkled even in the dimmest of lights. It was long sleeved but backless with a low neckline that showed off the top of your breasts. “Alright, I’m done. Go have a look” Nesta pointed to the full length mirror in the corner of her room.
You stood before the mirror, taking in your own image. The difference you saw from the girl in the mirror a couple of months ago to now was incredible. You had a full toned body, not the weak one you used to have. Your hair had grown longer and your eyes seemed brighter. You sighed deeply.
“You don’t like it?” Nesta snapped. “How can you not, you look beautiful” she spun round with a pair of silver stilettoes in her hand and held them out for you to take.
“No, I love it” you quickly said. “It looks amazing. I just wish Gwyn and Emerie were going to be here tonight” the thought had rattled through your brain all afternoon. You wanted to enjoy Starfall with all your friends. Nesta would be there, but she also had Cassian and her family.
“I feel the same but at least we have each other” Nesta smiled, stopping you mid thought. “I will leave you to put these on” she handed you the stilettoes. “Everyone would have arrived by now, so I better go play host but come find me when you are ready”. You nodded in agreement before she left the room.
You sat on the bed, putting the silver shoes on. They lased around your ancles and up to your calves. It took you a lot longer than you would admit to fiddle around with the laces to get them to sit neatly. You stood in front of the mirror one last time. The dress was beautiful and it hugged your new figure perfectly. You took a deep breath, debating if you could get away with just hiding for the night. Before you could let your thoughts get the better of you, you made your way out of the room and headed to the party.
The room wasn’t as full as the last party, but the atmosphere was still as loud. There were refreshments and small nibbles on tables. Most guests were happily chatting away with quiet music playing in the background. You wondered the outskirts of the room, trying to find Nesta.
“You look like you need a drink” you turned to see Mor with a glass of wine outstretched to you.
“It’s like you read my mind” you laughed and took the wine gratefully. You had only briefly seen Mor since the Winter solstice ball. Sometimes she would arrive just after training and have lunch or be messenger for Rhys to Cassian and Azriel.
“Where are your friends tonight? Gwyn and…. Emerie is it?” Mor feigned not knowing Emerie’s name with a little side glance at you.
“They had other plans unfortunately” you weren’t sure if telling Mor about Emerie’s date was a good idea but you smiled knowingly.
“Ahh” she took a long gulp from her wine. “That’s a shame. Come on, lets go see the others” Mor linked her arm with yours and led you to the balcony. There were more guests on the balcony then inside, ready to see the stars shoot across the midnight blue sky.
“There you are” Nesta was the first of the small group to see you and Mor arrive. Cassian was by her side, along with Rhysand, Fayre, Nyx. “I thought you had gotten lost, or you had made a run for it” she whispered the last bit to you.
“I found her looking like a bit of a lost puppy” Mor squeezed your arm and you gave her a fake scowl which she laughed at. You greeted everyone whilst sipping from your wine, already needing a top up. You were about to excuse yourself when a familiar face stepped out of the shadows and joined the group. Azriel wore his black jacket and trousers with a white shirt. His hazel eyes caught yours and he smiled. His smile nearly made your knees buckle.
“Y/N” Rhys pulled your attention away from the Illyrian. “May I have a quick word?” he gestured to step away from the group and you weren’t about to refuse the high lord. You glanced a look at Azriel, who’s brows were knitted together slightly as you followed Rhysand to a quiet part of the balcony. “How are you?” Rhys voice was soft but laced with concern.
“I’m alright thank you” you nodded barley able to keep contact with his violet eyes. “You?”
“I’m good” he chuckled slightly. “I meant after everything a couple of months ago. I’m sorry I haven’t been around to check on you. I hear you are still living in the house?” he took you by surprise. You knew the high lord of the night court wasn’t what most people knew him to be. But you never thought for one moment that he would want to or feel he had to check on you after what had happened, let alone apologise.
“Oh” words failed you. “I’m better but yes I am staying here…. but it’s only temporary, I didn’t mean to outstay my welcome” You began to nervously ramble. Rhys held up his hand to stop you.
“Whoa, I didn’t mean that” he smiled politely. “Stay as long as you need, you could never outstay your welcome. There is plenty of room. I just wanted to make sure you feel safe”. Safe? You still had sleepless night, woken up by past terrors but you couldn’t be more safe then where you were.
“I do” you nodded. “Thank you”.
“Is the training helping? I hear you’ve progressed”. You glanced back at the two Illyrians on the other side of the balcony. Cassian was laughing at something Mor was saying and Azriel was looking in your direction. He quickly turned his attention elsewhere when he noticed you looking his way.
“Yes, the training has helped a lot. Cassian and Azriel are good teachers” you swallowed. You were unsure where this convocation was heading. The High lord of the night court was asking you about your daily life, you were staying at his house. It all felt very unreal.
“They are my best worriers” Rhys smiled. “I’m sure Azriel has made it clear but I assure you that nothing like that will happen again. You have my word” his violet eyes met yours. There was no hesitation or white lie there. He meant what he said, and you could see the guilt that hid behind his stare.
“I believe you” you said it more for him then for you. His face softened with relief. Just from the short convocation with Rhysand you could tell he really cared for the people of Velaris. He didn’t want anyone to feel unsafe in his city. For that, you could trust him.
“I hope you enjoy tonight. If you ever have any issues please let me know” Rhys patted you lightly on the shoulder. You nodded your thanks to him as the two of you began to make your way back over to the group. You noticed another two people had joined. Amren was now stood with Fayre and Elain was stood next to Azriel. Her blush pink dress matched her soft complexion as her beautiful long hair fell to one side. Your heart dropped as she smiled so longingly at the Illyrian you had grown to care for. He was smiling back as they exchanged pleasant convocation.
Mor handed you another glass of wine as you reached her side. You had to stop yourself from downing the whole thing. You kept your attention on Mor as she spoke to the group, trying to ignore Elain and Azriel. You could see them in your peripheral vision, you could hear her giggling at something he had said. It was like you were being punched in the gut but you put on a front. You didn’t want anyone to see the truth of your feelings towards the spymaster. This silly schoolgirl crush you had on him.
“It’s about to start” Fayre picked Nyx up in her arms and strode to the railing of the balcony. Everyone formed a line along the rails to get a good view at the stars above. You were about to join when you saw Azriel lead Elain over to the balcony her arm snaked through his elbow. They stood next to one another and looked out waiting for the stars to fall. At first there was a small gap between them but Elain began to lean into him, closing the gap.
Fuck it. You gulped back the last of your wine. The last thing you wanted was to have to watch them flirt with each other all night. As everyone’s attention was on the view ahead of them, you took the opportunity and left the balcony. You knew there was another, quieter balcony you could go to that was only two floors up.
You picked the hem of your dress up as you started to climb the stairs. The last two Starfalls you had sat at the window in your apartment watching by yourself. This year would be no different apart from the better view. When you reached the second level, you were the only one there. You breathed a sigh of relief as you stepped out into the night and leaned your forearms against the railing of the quiet balcony. You could hear the faint chatter from two floors below, but this seemed right somehow. More peaceful.
Staring out at the dark sky, you wished your mother were here. Starfall had always been her favourite holiday in Velaris. You would climb to the roof of the bakery and sit out all night with snacks as the stars shot across the sky. This would be your third Starfall without her.
“So, this is where you ran off to” a voice broke through your thoughts. You spun round to see Azriel stood in the doorway to the balcony.
“I didn’t run” you gulped as your heart leaped into your throat. “I just wanted to watch somewhere more quiet” you half lied.
“Mind if I join you on that?” he waited in the doorway.
“Don’t you want to watch with the others?” with Elain, you thought.
“I quite enjoy the quiet too” Azriel’s shadows circled around his neck. “I’ve spent many Starfall’s with them, I’m sure they won’t mind if I spend this one two floors above them” he smirked.
“If you are sure, then go ahead” you smiled. He made his way across the balcony and stood at the railing beside you. He rested one of his arms on the rail with his body turned to face you.
“You look beautiful” his deep voice sent shivers up your spine. Heat rushed to your cheeks at the compliment.
“A bit of a difference from fighting leathers?” your voice came out slightly squeaky. Azriel gave a small laugh as his eyes met yours.
Just as he opened his mouth to speak a star shot across you vision. It lit the black sky up with colour as more stars started flying. It was beautiful, each star seemed to paint the black canvas with bright light. You and Azriel stood closely together staring up and watching as hundreds of bright stars danced together.
The two of you stayed like that. Hearing the downstairs balcony gasp and laugh as Stars fell so closely you could almost touch them. Azriel’s forearm rested right next to yours. His wings slightly held behind your back to allow his closeness. His warmth radiating onto you as you silently watched.
“It’s nice that you do this every year” you said as a star rushed past your head, leaving a bright green trail behind it. “Spending it surrounded by the people you love” you briefly looked down at the group on the balcony below. Your eyes landed on Elain as she stared up to the stars. You breathed in a sigh, thinking about the way they looked at one another. Why wasn’t he with her now?
“How did you used to spend it?” he asked as you turned you attention back to the skies.
“With my mother. She used to absolutely love this” you said as a small tear fell down your cheek.
“My mother did too” his voice was laced with sorrow. You glanced up at him. It was the first time Azriel had spoken about is actual family to you. He stared out at the falling stars, his eyes shining with their bright light. “It was one of the few things I actually knew about her”.
“I’m sorry” you didn’t know what to say. He carried on staring out at the sky above, his face unreadable. He sighed softly.
“There isn’t anything to apologise for” he shook his head. “It was my father and step-mothers fault I barely knew her” you stayed silent. You didn’t want to push him with questions so you waited to see if he wanted to carry on. “I was born a bastard. My step-mother hated me. I was a constant reminder of my father’s adultery, so she locked me away for the first eleven years of my life. Out of sight, out of mind” Azriel’s teeth clenched as he gripped the railing in front of him. “The room was always dark and small. It had no windows, no room to fly.
“I was only able to see my mother for one hour every week. I didn’t learn much about her, but it was the only kindness I was ever shown. I imagine if she had the chance, she would have been a good mother. It wasn’t until I was eleven when my father dumped me at windhaven to train that I actually spent any time out of the room. I was miles behind everyone, I’d never even used my wings. I had to learn how to fly when everyone else had been flying as long as they could walk. If it wasn’t for Rhys and Cassian I wouldn’t have survived. But I never saw my mother again.” he finally looked up to you. Your eyebrows knitted together as you felt the tears sting your eyes.
“Azriel, I-“ you couldn’t find the words. His hazel eyes glanced at the scar on your neck and then to his own scared hands.
“When I was eight years old my two half brothers thought it would be fun to experiment on me. Illyrians have fast healing powers and they wanted to see how fast they truly were” his voice turned cold. Your chest tightened as you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to listen to the horrors he endured. “They covered my hands in oil and set them on fire. My fathers warriors heard me but they were too late to save my hands” he stared at his scared hands, flexing them in front of his face.
His face had returned to the one you saw on the night of the attack. Laced with nothing but pure anger as he stared at his hands. Your heart pounded in your chest. You wanted to do anything, say anything that would bring him comfort but you couldn’t find the words.
“These” he flexed his hands. “I was left with these ugly, ruined hands as a constant reminder” he growled, a mixture of pain and shame plastered on his face. You couldn’t bare to think about what ran through his mind or how he viewed himself whenever he looked at the scars.
“No” your almost shouted voice came as a shock even to you. He turned to face you, still holding his hands in front of him, his face unreadable. Your heart broke for him as his hazel eyes met yours. Without thinking you took his scared hands gently in yours. “There is nothing about you that is ugly Azriel. Not to me.” the words flowed out of you.
His eyes widened slightly as you held his warm hands. You looked up at him, waiting for him to push you away or break the ever growing silence. But he just looked at you, stunned. You swallowed as the stars kept falling behind you, illuminating his beautiful features. He closed the distance between the two of you. His tall frame towering above you, sheltering you from the cold wind.
One of his hands dropped yours in order to caress your cheek, sending warm shivers throughout your body. Your breath hitched in your throat as his eyes flicked from yours to your lips. Time slowed down as Azriel tilted his head down, his throat bobbed slightly. The world seemed to go silent as his lips met yours.
His lips were warm and soft as he kissed you. His hand moved to the back of your neck tilting your head while the other now sat at your waist, pulling your body into his. Your heart began racing as he held onto you, deepening the kiss. His tongue grazed along your bottom lip asking for permission. You granted it, by opening your mouth.
He took full access, moving his tongue against yours in perfect harmony. Using his hand on your waist, he pulled you even closer to him. Your bodies now fully flushed against one another whist your arms wrapped around his neck. He broke this kiss for a split second, allowing you to catch your breath before reattaching his lips to yours. He tasted amazing on your tongue. His hands wondered down your spine to the curve of you ass, leaving a hot trail behind them.
Every fibre of your being was telling you to give him more. To give him everything but he pulled away. He leant his forehead on yours whilst you caught your breath. Both his arms now held you around your waist, keeping you in place against him. His hazel eyes met yours. Sudden dread arose in you.
What if he regretted the kiss? Was it just a heat of the moment thing and Elain was downstairs waiting for him? You would never be able to look at him again.
He smiled brightly before placing one gentler kiss to your lips. The dread faded away as quickly as it came as you returned his smile. Still catching his breath, he said “You have no idea how long I’ve….”
“There you are” Azriel was cut off. The two of you spun round, releasing each other quickly. The heat from him leaving you cold instantly. You were both too caught up in the moment to hear that someone had approached and was now waiting in the doorway with a huge smirk plastered across his face. “Rhys wondered where you were and told me to come find you” Cassian had his arms crossed over his chest, one eyebrow raised in a knowing look.
“Of course he did” Azriel almost growled at Cassian.
“After you” Cassian gestured to the door, trying to keep himself from laughing. Azriel turned to you, placing a hand on your lower back in a gesture for you to go first. You moved across the balcony to Cassian who winked at you as you passed him. You gave him a rude gesture which only made him laugh more.
You felt as if you were being escorted through the house as the two Illyrians followed closely behind you. Glancing back, you saw Azriel’s face back to it’s unreadableness and Cassian smirking to himself. You couldn’t believe what had just happened. Azriel had kissed you. You could still taste his lips on yours as you made your way to the main balcony.
The small group were where you had left them, gathered along the balcony as Starfall came to an end. You joined them, standing next to Nesta as Azriel stood at your other side between you and Elain. His warm presence once again at your side.
“Where did you run off too?” Nesta snapped.
“I went to find somewhere quiet to watch Starfall. I’m sorry Nesta” you cringed. Not completely a lie. You tried to steady your racing heart as your cheeks burnt with the thought of what had just happened. Nesta said something else but your attention was occupied with Elain and Azriel’s convocation.
She had asked him where he had been, and he simply said to find you. “You missed it” she sighed sadly. “You’ll have to make up for it next year” she smiled shyly at him. He just nodded in response unaware of you eavesdropping.
The rest of the night was full of drinking and dancing until there was only the small group of you left at the house of wind. You all retired to the living room, huddled together on sofas in front of a warm fire. There was a small space in between Mor and Fayre which you took gladly.
Azriel took as seat on the sofa opposite you. Every so often you would catch his eye and smile, heat flushing your cheeks. Your mind was going crazy as you listened to the group around you. What was going to happen now? Would you wake up tomorrow and he regret the whole thing? What would have happened if Cassian hadn’t had interrupted?
“Did you enjoy Starfall Y/N?” Fayre asked sweetly. Tearing your attention away from your own thoughts, you looked at the beautiful High Lady.
“Yes, very much. Thank you” you could feel Azriel’s eyes on you as you answered. “Was this Nyx’s first?” you deflected.
“Yes” she beamed holding the beautiful baby in her arms. “I think he rather enjoyed it”.
An hour passed before you finally decided to take your leave and go to bed. You said goodnight to everyone that was still awake and left the room. There was a small piece of you that wished a certain someone would follow you but that would have made things a bit too obvious.
As you shut your bedroom door behind you, you allowed yourself to smile. You couldn’t control it anymore. Your fingers featherlight touched your lips where Azriel’s had been just a couple of hours ago. The warmth they had brought as his body pressed against yours. Your mind played the scene over and over in your head.
Although you were playing the kiss over and over again in your head. Azriel had also confined a small part of his past with you. How he was treated. He was right when he told you that he understood how you felt, way back when you told him about your own past. All you wanted him to know was that there was no part of himself to be ashamed of and he had kissed you for it. Tomorrow. What was tomorrow going to bring? You would not only have to face Azriel but Cassian. Cassian had caught you holding one another closely. You just hoped that whatever tomorrow brought, it wasn’t going to be awkward.
Changing Shadows (Part 18)
Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel has you pinned beneath him after a heated spar. What will happen next?
Here we goooo! Smut 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ with a bit of fluff ☁️, 18+ (Minors DNI). If you haven’t read Part 17, I’d recommend you read it first :)
Image by koike9023
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5* | Part 6* | Part 7* | Part 8 | Part 9* | Part 10 | Part 11* | Part 12* | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15* | Part 16* | Part 17*
Warnings: Sex, dom, swearing, 18+ (Minors DNI)
Word count: 1,131
And here you were again, wetness beginning to pool below you and scent changing from anger to pure animalistic heat.
“For the record,” Azriel spoke into your ear, his breath on your neck. “It is you who leaves me insufferably horny every night, so much so that I have to fist myself just so I can sleep.”
Your heart pounded as you felt your nipples hardern at the image of him pleasuring himself. Azriel’s shaft was now strong against his leathers as you felt it press to your stomach.
You pushed up at him, and he let you. You prowled over him, straddled him back with your hands were on his chest. You felt the heat radiating from your crotches pressing together between your clothes.
“Is that so?” you asked, braving your position as you slowly moved your hips against his, desperate for friction.
He looked up at you in awe for just a moment before his gaze darkened. You were in trouble.
“Cute,” he smirked, before flipping you under him. He lay between you, pulling one leg up over his shoulder, and starting to grind his hips against your own sex.
You succumbed to his strength. Azriel was not one to be controlled.
The throbbing you felt from your core was too much to handle, and heat spread across your cheeks. He chuckled as your face flushed, eyes fluttering in pleasure as a tiny moan escaped you.
“I’m glad you lost your attitude, Y/N,” he teased, running his hand across the top of your wings. You glared as best you could, but continued to move your hips against his, shuddering under his touch.
“Please,” you whined. You needed him deep within you, this dry humping was not going to cut it.
He smiled. “What was that?” His hips continuing their gentle movements against you.
“Please,” you said more clearly, eyebrows scrunched in desperation.
“One more time for me,” he ordered. You gritted, just one more card you would have to fold to his pile.
“Please, fuck me,” you breathed.
A snarl ripped from him as he kissed your roughly. You could finally get your hands on him, one immediately latching to his hair while you used the other to pry off his leathers.
He was on the same mission, pulling your top down so it bunched in your middle, your breasts exposed as he latched onto one with his mouth.
You moaned, your sex aching in anticipation as you both raced to pull each others pants down. You didn't strip bare, instead let your leathers bundle at your boots, desperate to touch one another.
Azriel ran his fingers down your slit, his hand slick from your juices. He pulled it up to his mouth, it glistened in the moonlight.
“How are you this wet for me?” he asked in frustrated lust, before slowly licking his fingers clean. You contracted at the sight of it.
“Gods Az, fuck me already,” you begged. This couldn’t go on any longer.
“With pleasure,” Azriel’s growled, pumping his cock in his hand before pushing into you in one sweep.
You cried at the delightful fullness as he stretched you. You had never felt so complete.
His thrusts were deep and long as he ground into you, leaning in to suck on your breasts. He let out husky groans each time he pushed into you, the sound of pure sin.
“Oh, yes, Az,” you whimpered, touching his wings where you could reach. “Please, fuck me harder.”
Azriel took that opportunity to pull out of you and flip you on to your front. Your legs were straight as he straddled either side of your ass, entering you from behind. The cold from the ground beneath you went unnoticed as he squeezed your fleshy cheeks in his hand, grinding against your rump.
“How’s that, baby girl? Does it feel good?” Az asked, his breathy voice filling the night air.
You could only answer in moans, air being pushed out of you at each thrust.
Without removing himself from you, Azriel leaned back on his own heels, bringing you up with him as you sat on his thighs, your back to his chest with your legs spread.
He slid a hand to your front, rubbing gentle circles as the other hand snaked out to your breast, latching on as he began to rock back and forth, holding you to him.
This must be heaven, you thought. The intimacy from this new position had your brow clenched in pleasure. You passionately worked together, and a deep sense of pure belonging swirled in your head amongst the lust and heat.
“That’s it sweetheart,” he murmured in your ear between grunts. “You’re taking me so well.”
You felt yourself tighten at his words, the overwhelming release growing closer and closer.
Grinding turned to jutting as you both chased the end, the slapping of your sweaty bodies filling the room.
You reached back for him, lacing a hand in the roots of his hair. His hand left your breast, turning your jaw behind you to kiss him.
“Az,” you whimpered into his mouth, your brow scrunched in pleasure. “Az, I’m going to-”
“Me too, baby,” he rasped. “Come with me.”
You threw your head back into his chest, squeezing your own breasts as your came undone, tightening around his shaft in a deathly grip, wave after wave of pleasure rippling from your as you squeezed him.
“Oh Gods, Y/N,” Az groaned, roaring as he spurted deep within you on each deliberate thrust.
You both slowed to a gentle rocking pace, twitching in pleasure as your breathing slowed.
"Mother above,” Azriel whispered.
You raised yourself off him, turning to face him in the cool of the night, eye to eye.
With one hand on your shoulder, he placed his forehead to yours as he looked past the hair that had fallen into his eyes, staring deeply into yours. His expression was one of absolute awe, his chest rising and falling as he took you in.
You grabbed him by the sides of his face, pulling him in for a passionate kiss, tongue gently sliding past his lips.
He moaned into your kiss, and you fluttered once more at the sound of his voice while you felt his seed seeping from you.
A voice inside your hear willed you to leave, to finish this and never look back. For the sake of your family.
“I should-,” you started.
“Don’t,” Azriel said, pulling you tight into his chest. “Not yet, stay a little while longer.”
You sighed against him, aching at his voice.
You let him pull you into his lap, turning you as you both looked up at the shimmering night sky.
“It’s beautiful,” you said.
“Yes, it is,” Azriel replied, kissing your ear.
You tried not to think about how empty your bed would feel that night.
AN: Another smutty chapter in the records, hope you liked this part! Would love any feedback :) Drop a comment if you’d like to join the tag list. Part 19 coming tomorrow <3
Tags: @slvtherinseeker @judig92 @kennedy-brooke @hyacinthoideshispanica @brekkershadowsinger @its-me-meg @acotar-thirst @5moremin @honeyrydernot @azzydaddy @lucyysthings @highladyofillyria @paasrin @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @littleshopofwhoress
Falling for You
Azriel x Reader
Word count: 2.3k
Synopsis: Reader is v clumsy, Az is constantly bandaging her and looking after her when she hurts herself. She accidentally burns her hand making him a pie.
Warnings: mentions of bruises, a burn, feelings of insecurity.
“Aw, angel,” Azriel cooed. He had your forearm grasped gently between his two hands as he frowned at your latest bruise. “How’d you get this one?”
You blushed under his careful inspection, though this was hardly a rare occurrence. “I tripped near the top of the stairs.”
He smiled, still examining your arm. “My poor darling,” he tutted. You laughed at the fussing but blushed harder as he bent down to place a soft kiss on your hurt skin.
Azriel was the sweetest mate in the world, always showing such patience and concern for you despite your clumsy nature. Scratches and bruises would litter your skin and heal like the coming and going of the seasons, yet he seemed to always catch onto every newcomer with his keen eye. “Does it still hurt?”
Your eyes met his. “Not really.”
“I’m glad.” He still smiled, and you returned it as he took your hand, leading you to the door.
The first time you’d met him, you lost your footing and scraped your knee. Azriel never lets you live it down, always talking about how you’d ‘fallen for him at first sight.’ You scoff and roll your eyes every time he brings it up, but deep down the story makes your heart swell with love.
You let your mind wander as Azriel bunched you up in his arms and began flying to the House where Nesta and Cassian were hosting a family dinner. You’d always argued that being mated to him was a fluke; you loved him with all your heart but sometimes wondered how you’d scored a mate with the fluidity and stealth of a feline while you stumbled your way through life. If you ever mentioned this in front of Feyre, she just shakes her head and says you bring out the softness in Az.
Azriel descended upon reaching the house, setting you down with the gentleness he always beheld for you. “Y/N?”
You craned your neck to face him. “Hm?”
“I asked if you were alright.”
You blinked. “Oh, sorry. Yes, why?”
“You just seem a little distracted.”
“Oh. I guess I zoned out a bit on the flight.” You offered a reassuring smile.
He studied you for another beat. “Okay. We can leave whenever you want. You know that, right baby?”
You squeezed his hand affectionately. “Yes, Az. I know.”
“I’m just saying. If you don’t feel so good—”
You shook your head. “I’m good, I want to see our friends.” You tugged him down by the hand and he obliged. You wrapped your arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too, angel.”
You shivered, unwinding yourself from him lest you prematurely take him up on that offer. “There you two are,” a voice redirected your attention to the entrance where Cassian came to greet you. He enveloped you in a hug. When he pulled back, he eyed your bruise, making you blush.
“Cassian, stop hurting my mate,” Azriel interjected playfully.
“Ah, yes. My bad,” Cassian immediately jested back.
“See, you already bruised her,” Azriel added. You laughed at their teasing.
“She’s just so fragile, I can’t help it,” Cassian shrugged his shoulders in exaggeration.
“Shut up,” you laughed.
Cassian nudged you with his shoulder. “Let’s go inside before you trip off the balcony.” You rolled your eyes as Azriel chuckled.
Inside, you took your places at the table. You didn’t miss the way Azriel covered the table corner with his hand as you passed by it, a habit he always minded.
As the meal ended, the group moved to the lounge. You languidly watched your friends interact. Feyre brought out her latest painting per Cassian’s request, gesturing with effortless elegance as she explained the inspiration behind it. You caught Rhys watching her, beaming with pride, likely at the charisma she exuded even in her relaxed state. You sat a little straighter.
Nesta mentioned she started going to a dance studio. “The teacher allowed me to advance to a higher level last week.”
“Because of her curves,” Cassian smirked.
“Because of my lines,” Nesta corrected, smacking her mate.
“Lines?” you asked.
“A dancer’s physical silhouette,” Nesta explained.
“That’s what I just said,” Cassian quipped.
Nesta ignored him. “Well-controlled poses make better lines.”
“What are you controlling for?” you asked.
Nesta waved a hand. “It’s supposed to be grace and rhythm.”
You hummed thoughtfully. The conversations moved on, but you fell silent, distracted by a distinct sense of mismatch gnawing at your gut. You felt noticeably at odds with the sophistication of your family surrounding you; warriors, courtiers, lords, and ladies.
Lost in thought, you gasped lightly at the sudden sensation in your chest. Admiration and comfort fluttered down the bond, making you relax your shoulders. You looked over to where Azriel sat and found him watching you intently. You hadn’t realized you’d been projecting your emotions to him. Before you could reassure him, Azriel stood up. “We’re calling it a night,” he announced to the group. “Thank you all for the dinner.” He took your hand to help you to your feet.
Others began rising in agreement, prompting a flurry of hugs and kisses to erupt. Azriel waited for you to finish; he was patient until he wasn’t. You laughed as he unceremoniously tugged you out of an embrace, throwing parting words over your shoulder while your friends laughed at Az stealing you away. Outside, he turned to face you, smiling warmly. You looked at him from beneath lowered lashes.
“How are we feeling.” He spoke softly.
“Yeah,” you said. You both knew he knew better, but he was sparing you. You fidgeted with your fingers under his inspecting gaze. “Sorry to have, um, pulled you out of the gathering.”
“Don’t be sorry. I told you we could leave if you weren’t feeling well,” he reassured. You looked up at him and found that endless patience of his. He placed his hands on your waist and pulled you gently to his body, which you happily folded yourself into. “Let’s go home,” he murmured into your crown. You hummed in agreement, thankful for the reprieve granted by your perceptive mate.
You found yourself in the kitchen after changing. Azriel wanted to go over some reports for the next day, though you suspected it was to give you some time to sort through your thoughts. You and Azriel always respected each others’ space to open up at your own pace.
You had an idea, wanting to make Azriel something to show your appreciation for him, to dote on him how he always doted on you. It was silly perhaps, but you combined ingredients to make a blueberry pie (for his siphons, of course). It was late into the night, but you had your mind made. You hummed as you worked, feeling a bit better. This is what a refined spouse would do for her mate, wasn’t it?
You finally placed the skillet into the oven and began cleaning up, intending to surprise Azriel. You did the dishes as the pie baked, feeling your tiredness catch up to you, wondering if Az already went to sleep. You hurried at that thought, turning to check on the pie. As you rushed over, you opened the oven to take a look—gasping as you lost your footing suddenly.
You were instantly falling as your foot slid on something. You grabbed onto the nearest surface to steady yourself—recoiling on reflex before you could register what happened. You slammed into the nearby cabinet as you hit the floor. The leg that lost its balance was splayed beneath the open oven door. You cursed as glaring pain scorched through your hand—the hand that recoiled because—
Because you’d grabbed onto the inside of the oven door in your fall, burning your hand.
“Fuck,” you whimpered in pain, cradling your arm to your chest. Azriel would surely be here soon due to the sound. You closed the oven door quickly to keep him from seeing, knowing he had a history of this injury.
You checked under your foot, finding a sizeable chunk of butter there, the culprit that caused the slipping and sliding. You exhaled raggedly as tears stung your eyes, in pain or defeat, you didn’t know. Sure enough, Azriel came into the kitchen, rushing over immediately.
“Y/N, what happened? Are you alright?” He crouched near you, frowning at your hurt state.
You sniffled. “I just fell.” You hid your burnt hand behind you
“Aw, angel,” he spoke softly, cupping your face and wiping your tears as they fell. “Come here,” he said, offering you his hands to get you off the floor. You couldn’t take them because of your burn, so you paused. He noticed this, eyes shifting to your arm hidden behind your back.
“Can I see?” he asked gently. You shook your head. He frowned, but his shadows wafted to his head, whispering in his ear. His eyes widened suddenly, and you felt panic spike and then cease down the bond. “You burnt your hand,” he breathed.
You nodded apprehensively. He gently placed his hand on your elbow to pull your hidden arm forward, which you allowed. He cradled your arm at your elbow and wrist. You opened your hand to let him see. There were red splotches on your fingers where you’d grabbed the door. Azriel winced. “Let’s get this bandaged,” he said.
He scooped you into his arms and carried you over to the table. He filled a bowl with cool water and placed your hand into it, letting it absorb the heat out of the burn, greatly reducing your pain. He wiped your tears and kissed your forehead. He gently pulled your hand out of the water and began bandaging it with expert care, standing between your legs as he worked.
When he finished, he kissed the back of your hand and placed it gently into your lap. “Does that feel a little better?”
“Wanna tell me how you got that burn?”
You swallowed. “I was baking a pie for you.”
His eyes widened slightly, lips quirking upwards. “For me? Why?”
“I wanted to do something nice for you because you always take such good care of me,” you said, waving your newly bandaged hand in demonstration.
Adoration washed over his face. He huffed a laugh, caught off guard. “Thank you, angel.” He enveloped you in an embrace, burying his head into your neck. You breathed him in. “You don’t have to repay me for any of this,” he spoke lowly into your ear. He pulled away, still taking you in with that reverence. “This isn’t burdensome,” he added.
You shrugged, still frustrated with yourself. “I’m sorry for always making you bandage me up and everything,” you said, feeling your emotions rise again.
Azriel shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I love getting to take care of you.”
You looked down as your tears returned.
“Why are you crying, baby?” Azriel lifted your chin up, frowning.
You took a deep breath. “Because. I’m sick of this.”
“Sick of what?”
“It’s just—it’s embarrassing, the clumsiness. You’re all so graceful without even having to try. You deserve a mate who isn’t such a fumbling mess.”
Realization dawned on him. “Ah,” he said. “Is that why you were feeling off at the dinner today?”
You nodded. “I know it’s dumb, but just—you know, the other girls, they’re so smooth and classy.”
Az strokes the sides of your thighs soothingly. “It’s not dumb. It’s okay to have concerns. And you’re wrong, you’re not a fumbling mess. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect mate.”
You felt his unrestricted love flow through the bond, soothing you enough to stop crying. But you continued. “I just feel like a sore thumb sometimes.”
He shook his head. “Everyone adores you. They can’t get enough of you. I thought that was obvious,” he smiled.
You believed him, feeling his sincerity in your chest. You returned his smile.
“Is that what this is? You just want to hear me tell you how much they like you?” Azriel teased.
You laughed, making Azriel smile wider.
“I understand this can be frustrating, but please don’t ever feel like it’s an issue. I love you the way you are, even if you’re constantly falling for me.”
You rolled your eyes, still laughing. His gaze sobered a bit. “You don’t need to be any more or less graceful. I’ve adored you from the start, I won’t stop now. I love getting to dote on you. Don’t you like getting doted on?”
You smiled. “Yes Az, I like it.”
“I knew it. You’re faking the clumsiness.”
You laughed again, brighter this time. He laughed too, wrapping his arms around you. He kissed you deeply, pulling you closer to him. You kissed him back, feeling your worries melt away. You let all your love flow through the bond as he kissed you, making him shudder at the feeling. He leaned forward, prompting you to bend back, but you remembered something. You tried to break away from the kiss, but he’d hardly let up.
“Az,” you smiled against his mouth.
“Yeah,” he breathed, making no attempt to stop.
“Az, the pie.”
“Fuck the pie,” he said.
You laughed, pushing him lightly on the shoulders, which he regretfully granted. He took a deep, steadying breath. When you tried to move around him, he pushed you back in place and went to retrieve it himself. He placed it on the counter and made his way back to you.
“This was very thoughtful of you,” he said huskily, looking at you with a hunger for something other than the pastry. He bent forward and laced an arm beneath your knees; you squealed as he suddenly stood, hauling you over his shoulder. He gave your ass a smack as he began taking you to the bedroom. “I was also thinking of showing my appreciation by having something sweet.”
@iimisty-a @feyretopia @cityofidek @cullenswife @reiincarnatiion @sfhsgrad-blog @answer-the-sirens @mrstangerinejohnson @marigold-morelli @courtofjurdan @azriels-mate123 @punishers-girl (so sorry if I missed any or if these don’t work. Pls lmk if you’d like to be added)
azriel winter #9 please merry christmas to you! <33 and a happy new year
Getting interrupted by an overgrown bat while making sweet treats and baking isn't too terrible, is it? Very sweet, very fluffy. Hope you like this one! 😘
The entire House of Wind smells like a bakery. Nowhere can one escape the scent. Azriel doesn’t mind it. In fact, he might actually enjoy it, though that may have a little more to do with the person responsible than his actual love for baked goods. He’d like to say he developed quite the sweet tooth but doesn’t have a great love for all things sugary, not unless they’re made by you. He’d happily stuff himself on your food, be that sweet or savoury. You’re a good cook and an equally good baker to the point where food not prepared by your skilled hands, simply does not taste as perfect. Of course you’ve had your failed experimentations but that does not diminish your expertises. Your bread, that secret recipe of yours, he’ll steal it some day in the hopes he’ll be able to recreate a worthy comparison. Azriel got so distracted in training he did not manage to dodge that swing Cassian directed at his face. The prick had teased him relentlessly for it and claimed it was simply an excuse for him to go into the kitchen and get some ice for his throbbing cheek. You’d banned everyone from entering your domain unless it was urgent. A bruised, potentially broken cheekbone would be urgent enough, right? Maybe he did take the hit on purpose… Just a little.
As he wanders down the halls, following his nose to the kitchen as the smell grows stronger, and with it accompanied come the hums of a melody. He recognises it well. You’re making dough and the melody is how you time out to not over work it. Azriel knocks on the open doorframe, hand over his eyes. He peaks between his fingers to see you indeed folding dough, just about finished. You put it in a bowl, cover it with cloth and set it in an appropriate place.
“May I come in?” He asks sheepishly, as if you’d send him away. You grumble something to yourself before you turn and cross your arms. Your cheeks are smudged in flour, or maybe it’s confectionery sugar, or both. Your apron is stained in things he cannot begin to identify. The kitchen is a mess, or organised mess as you’d prefer because you always claim there to be some logic behind your workings even if he has yet to figure them out. One of the counters already holds several breads, and some pastries cooling down. Then there’s a variety of goods already plated from sugar candies, jellies, chocolates, pastes, jams and more to muffins, tarts and entire pies.
“Is it urgent?” You reply, opening the oven and you begin removing some trays of cookies, setting them aside to cool. You appear to be baking for an army with these amounts.
“I just need some ice, if you can spare it.” He removes his hand from his eyes when you give him a look that shows you’re aware he’s peaking anyway. You gasp when you see the bruise already forming. You set down the final tray and rush over brushing your hand clean on some clear spots of the apron. You hold his face, inspect it and place a palm against the bruise. Instantly a wave of numbing cool spread through his cheek. He sighs in relief, be that because of your close proximity or your gentle touch of magic.
“Am I going to have to murder Cassian or will withholding this stuff suffice?” Azriel doesn’t quite know if you’re upset or just joking. He brings his fingers up to your face to brush away some flour and you huff when he holds onto your lower arms, removes your hold on his face, instead laces his fingers with yours and presses a kiss to your forehead.
“I doubt you’ll get through even a quarter of this food without him. And it was just an accident.” Azriel defends and you just squeeze his hand as you purse your lips in disappointment. Cassian better remember it’ll take one word to have you take revenge on his behalf. Cauldron he loves it when you defend him. However much he’d love see you kick Cass’ ass another time will do. It’s not like the male doesn’t step on your toes every other day or something.
“Shame. I was thinking maybe I could poison a tart? Or some candied fruit? Could even add a note ‘from a secret admirer’.” You plot and Azriel decides to indulge your evil machinations. Much to his disappointment you pull away from him and go back to work whisking up a nice royal icing. He leans against the counter next to you, careful not to disturb the top or you might just go feral on him. Nothing more terrifying than you posting a whisk with a blazing fury in your eyes. Terrifying and quite sexy and you know it too.
“Yes, build up his ego. That’ll certainly help.” Azriel counters with a snort as you fill a piping bag and reach for the tray behind him, pull it over and begin icing the cookies atop. He turns and leans his hip against the counter trying to steal one of the cookies but you softly smack his hand away so he holds up his hands in surrender. Not ready yet. He gets it. He’ll be patient.
“And tear it down right away. I’ll make sure he knows it’ll be from me.” You’re deep in thought trying to freehand a snowflake pattern. He doesn’t understand how you just do it and it comes out looking like a master piece.
“And have him call you his secret admirer for the next weeks? No thank you.” He does have a point there. You don’t particularly feel like Cassian trying to insert himself into any display of affection you share with your lover. The image of him throwing himself between the two of you while you’re cuddled up on the couch like some jealous puppy, may be a funny one but it’ll cease being funny when it goes on for weeks and you’ll have to admit defeat to the general.
“You do have a point.” You think tapping your chin. “I’ll say they’re from Amren then!” Fear. Genuine fear you might actually blame anything on Amren has him take the piping bag from you, and turn you to face him. He looks at you with urgency.
“How about we don’t try to poison Cassian today.”
“Fine.” You whine but through your disappointment shines your smile and shortly after follows laughter. “Rule one of food; never mess with anyone’s food unless they’re your enemy and you’re trying to embarrass, incapacitate, or kill them. Rule two; pick your enemies wisely. Rule three; don’t hold a piping bag like that.” It takes a hot second before Azriel realises what you said last and by that time, icing has already spilled past, onto his arm, and down onto the floor from how he held it out of reach of you.
“Shit.” He curses and quickly puts the bag down. He wipes it from his arm and shirt sleeve while you giggle and grab a cloth to help out and get rid of as much as you can. The shirt will have to be washed to get out the stains but it’s serviceable for now. You take his hand covered in icing, and go to remove the icing but Azriel, before you can pulls his hand free, grabs an uncovered cookie from the tray, and scoops it along his hand. He quickly pops the cookie in his mouth and eats it before you can stop him.
“You are such a child.” You groan as he smiles and licks the final remains from his fingers. He goes to steal another from the tray but you slap his hand away and tut like you would an actual child trying to steal from your precious baked goods. “You know why I bake so much? Because I’m feeding two and a half Illyrians and they keep stealing my food!” You push Azriel back and away from the cookies palm flat against his chest and while he could definitely have resisted, not moved an inch, he lets you until his back hits another counter. You reach behind him and grab a bowl filled with some kind of yellow custard-like paste but a bit more consistent and creamy. You take the spoon and hold it out for him to take a taste.
“You’re not trying to poison me, now are you?” He jokes but you give him a dead serious look.
“Are you my enemy?” You ask intensely.
“I’m your confidant, sparring partner, shopping assistant, reader, lover and countless other things I can’t begin to define but I don’t think enemy made the list.” He speaks faking deep thought rather convincingly. You bring the spoon to his lips once more.
“Then you should have nothing to fear, right?” He opens his mouth and the moment he contents hit his tongue flavour just explodes. Is it sweet? Is it spicy? A bit of both. It’s good though. You watch his features change, go through the stages of confusion before they settle pleasantly and he takes the spoon from you so fast to take another scoop. You go to protest but the overgrown bat is faster this time.
“It’s very good.”
“What it was, was my filling for those tarts but you just contaminated it.” Azriel is well aware what he did. He looks at the tarts by his side. You’re well aware he knows what he did and so you grab a scooping spoon and begin placing the filling onto the small tarts. He helps, following your motions though it’s a little more difficult and he can’t seem to get them just right the way you do. Once all twelve of them are done you sprinkle some confectioner’s sugar overtop and pick one up, inspect it and take a bite. You hum satisfied. It worked out well. Though you only get half of the actual taste since your mind is more occupied with the look you’re getting from Azriel. You simply stare back at him.
“I suppose they’re all ours then?” One by one Azriel puts them on the silver platter sitting next to them, not once breaking eye contact with you. You shrug. Good enough for him. Last tart on the plate he picks up the platter in one hand, grasps yours with the other and before you know it you’re falling through shadows and find yourself on the couch in the library; your usual spot. The platter is on the side table atop some stacks of books.
“Thirty minutes.” You point an accusatory finger at the shadowsinger. “Thirty minutes and I’ll have to take out the next loafs.” Azriel laughs as he scoops some of the tart filling from the one in your hand and flicks it onto your nose. You gasp but he kisses it away and your gasp turns into a giggle.
Solstice baking mode Elriel is starting to look so fluffy… work in progress.
art by me, reblogs ok
please no reposting works in progress
A Crown of Shadows and Roses
Summary: Azriel watches Elain in her garden as an internal battle over needing to be with her and obeying Rhys' warning wages inside of him.
Contains spoilers for the entire ACOTAR series and ACOSF Azriel bonus chapter. It helps to have read the bonus chapter but isn't necessary.
He shouldn’t be here. It was wrong- so wrong.
But Azriel didn’t care.
Not when the sun beamed down on the garden, giving the many plants and flowers new life after a harsh winter. Not when the sweet scent of spring filled his lungs. And especially not when a gentle breeze ruffled Elain’s thick, golden-brown hair.
He watched her from the shade of a tree at the edge of the garden, observing the way her delicate hands tended the flowers, his own shadows quietly hidden away. Using a pair of pruning shears, she cut a variety of blooms and placed them in a basket at her feet. He had no doubt she would take them into the River House and make stunning arrangements. Arrangements she would leave on tables and desks throughout the house.
Once, Azriel had entered his bedroom to find a neatly arranged bouquet of flowers in a vase on his nightstand. He hadn’t needed to ask who had left them there. He knew. And it was precisely because of her that sleep so rarely found him these days. It was the longing, the desperate need for her that kept him awake every night. That, and the direct order he was given from his brother, his High Lord. “You are to stay away from her.” He understood why Rhys had demanded it. He even knew that deep down, Rhys probably hated himself for having to pull rank. But he still couldn’t help himself.
He kept his feelings hidden away, only allowing himself to think about her late at night, with only the stars and his shadows to keep him company. And then, when even his shadows had gone to sleep, he’d lay there, looking at the headache power and the ear plugs she’d gifted him at the previous two Winter Solstices. Two items that were both never going to be used. He cherished them too much. He instead laid in bed every night and just looked at them. And when those flowers appeared on his nightstand next to them, he knew she’d seen her gifts and often wondered what she thought of them sitting there, untouched. Untouched like the flowers, long since withered and faded. He just couldn't bring himself to throw them out.
"Azriel?" Elain's voice was like a song his heart had been yearning to hear for centuries. His hazel eyes became wide and found her own. He'd been staring at her, lost in thought. He prayed she hadn't been watching him long, that she hadn't noticed how long he'd been there.
"Elain." He said, giving a slight nod of his chin and tucking his wings in a little tighter.
She slowly walked through the bright rows of flowers, only stopping when she was within reach. "Do you mind if I join you?" She asked quietly.
Azriel thought he would combust just from being so near her. But despite himself, despite Rhys' warning, he simply said, "not at all."
Elain beamed at him, her smile as bright as the sun itself. She sat on the grass next to him, rearranging her pink dress skirts in her lap. She removed some of the flowers from the basket and began weaving them together.
Azriel recognized roses, cosmos, and poppies. There were other flowers he hadn't read about in the book he'd snuck out of the private library at the House of Wind. He kept the flower encyclopedia hidden under his pillow and read it late at night while the rest of the world slept without him. He never knew what he would do with the information, but he felt closer to her while he read.
Still standing, he watched Elain's hands work the flower stems around each other. It didn't take him long to figure out that she was weaving a flower crown. Without thinking about what he was doing, he found himself sinking to the ground and sitting by her side. She looked up at him with big doe eyes. Heat shot through him.
It was wrong- so wrong.
He didn’t care.
The Cauldron had been wrong. He didn't know how. If it was really even possible. But he wouldn't accept anything else. After all, both of his brothers were mated to her two sisters. Why should they be left out? And Elain’s own mate? She hadn't spoken to the male in months.
Damned be the Cauldron. It was wrong. Not him. Not them. They were meant to be together. He knew it. He decided he'd return the flower encyclopedia to the library and instead begin reading about mating bonds, the Cauldron, anything he could find to prove to the world that Elain was his and he was hers.
Elain's fingers finally stopped moving and she held up the crown of flowers. It was beautiful, mostly consisting of soft pink roses. He expected her to place it on her own head, and for a moment worried about thorns pricking her beautiful skin, but she instead found his gaze and did not look away.
All the air left his lungs. It was a silent offer. One he would not refuse. His cheeks flushed slightly as he bowed and she carefully placed the crown of flowers over his head. But she didn't fully retract her hands, her fingers gently running through his black hair and coming down to cup his cheeks.
It took every ounce of restraint in his body to keep from pouncing on her right there. He was almost shaking from it, and he prayed that she wouldn't look down to find the proof of his feelings pressing against his pants.
They had not touched since the Winter Solstice when he'd been ordered to stay away. In fact, he'd been avoiding her as best he could. He didn't know why today had been any different. Didn't know why he'd wandered out to the garden to watch her work.
She seemed to sense his hesitation and removed her hands, likely remembering that cold Solstice night when they came so close. He reached out and grabbed her fingers, the contrast of his tanned and scarred hands against her beautiful, clean skin would forever be burned into his memory.
She jolted slightly, but leaned in more. He heard an almost inaudible humm escape her lips and it nearly drove him right out of his skin. He shifted, still holding her hands with one of his, but reaching out with the other. He gently ran his fingers through her golden-brown hair. Elain's eyes fluttered closed and she bit her lip. Gods, to put his own teeth there…To taste her. As if she could read his thoughts she tilted her head, angling it perfectly for him. His head dipped closer and his hand came to rest on her neck.
Just one kiss.
Just them, alone in her garden.
But they weren't alone. His shadows crept up and coiled around the claws at the tips of his wings. They whispered of people nearing. They would be seen.
Azriel took a deep breath and pulled back. Elain's eyes opened wide and he could feel her silently pleading not to leave things like this again.
He leaned in. "Don't give up on us," he whispered against the shell of her pointed ear. She arched in response, the scent of her arousal making it even harder for him to keep a level head. His lips brushed her cheek as he released her hands. He chanced one final look at her beautiful face before he quickly got to his feet and stalked away without being seen.
That night, Azriel laid in his bed. He'd already pleasured himself to the memory of their earlier encounter and sleep still had not found him. He took a deep breath, the sweet scent of roses filling his lungs. The flower crown Elain had so carefully constructed rose and fell on his chest with each breath he took. Before he went to sleep he would place it on his nightstand. It seemed his collection was growing, as was the hope that maybe they could one day be together.
Tomorrow he would return the flower encyclopedia to the library. Tomorrow he would borrow a book about mating bonds. Tomorrow he would start looking for a way to prove they could be together.
Eris: Wait, when we first met you told me you had a PhD. Are you saying you lied about your degree?
Azriel: Pretty huge dick
Home sweet home/// Azriel X F!Reader
Summary: “Hey, As holiday season is here , I'm really craving something domestic fluff 😭❤......Could you please write something about Azriel and reader spending weekend together, like total lazy domestic fluff..Laying and cuddling in the bed, sitting in the bathtub together and sharing some of the most intimate and deep moments together, and just a sweet romantic weekend together 🙈❤....Found this pics so attached here ..💞”
Word Count: 1,1K
Notes: This is an easy request since all I do every weekend is lay down and spend some quality time with my partner 😂😂 So I'm familiar with being lazy. Thank you @cherryjain17 for this request ❤️❤️
Azriel’s arm felt heavy as he held my waist, my face pressed on his soft chest as he breathed lightly, his wings shielding the sun light that peaked through the curtains, his body so warm against mine that it was really hard not to fall asleep again.
I removed his arms slowly, he shifted underneath me but kept sleeping, quietly I slid away from him, my whole body shivering as a wave of coldness spread as soon as I stump my foot on the ground. It was the beginning of winter, the streets starting to get white from the snow and the winds freezing our bones.
I opened the windows, the snowflakes falling, a fluffy blanket covering the streets, I loved days like this, I clapped a little and started rushing outside, I jumped on the snow, my back pressed on the soft snow as I giggled like a child, rubbing my arms and legs on the snow, forming snow angels.
“What are you doing over there?” Azriel asked and i rose my head, looking at him. “You’re going to catch a cold” He marched towards me, his agile hands grabbing my waist and launching me over his shoulder as he dragged me home.
“You’re no fun.” I grumped and Azriel nodded.
“You’ll be thanking me later.” He dropped me on the kitchen chair, and I popped my tongue out for him, he patted my head like a dog. I watched as he moved, preparing the breakfast, placing the coffee mug in front of me and a plate filled with bacon and pancakes.
“You should drop your job as spymaster and open a restaurant” He laughed as he sat in front of me, eating his own food and sipping his coffee. “I’m sure the shadows will like it” One of his shadows wrapped itself on my wrist and I smiled. “See? They agree.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that you know about my shadows more than I do.” He giggled and I rolled my eyes at him.
“They’re my best friends, of course I do.” Winking at him, I got up, taking care of the dishes as he finished his coffee. “You’re not going to work today, are you?”
“Nope, I’m all yours this weekend.” - I jumped on his lap, kissing his lips happily.
“Thanks to the Mother, I’m starting to get annoyed, having to share you with your husband AND your boyfriend.” Azriel laughed, his head falling backwards as he laughed, his whole body shaking.
“What do you want to do?” We ended up cuddling in the couch, a book in hands as I read to him out loud, before him, I would much rather hide away and enjoy a book by myself, but as soon as we started hanging out, I would seek his company every time i could, and when the bond snapped, we would just sit and read together, and if we were reading the same book, we would take turns reading to each other.
“Are you hungry? We should make cookies.” I said, after a few hours lazily laying on the couch. He agreed and we got up, my limbs tingling from being in the same position for such a long time.
We got everything we needed, I was focusing on mixing the ingredients when I felt something hitting the back of my head and a white cloud crossed my eyesight, I gasped, slowly turning to find him standing, his hands on his back and a innocent look on his face.
“You didn’t.” I grabbed some flour, throwing on his face, he closed his eyes and the amount hit his face, covering him in flour from head to toe. He used the sugar to throw my way, and I got down, the sugar covering my face as we kept throwing food at each other like two kids.
He ran after me, cornering me and cracking an egg on my head, I laughed and he kissed me, passionately as his hands spread the egg on my hair, making an even huger mess.
“Now I need a bath.” I frowned, looking at my state, completely dirty.
“Then let’s take a bath.” He led us to the bathroom, preparing a bath for us, we entered the tub, I leaned on him, my back pressed on his chest as we washed each other.
“Do you think that if we were birds, we’re still going to be mates?” I wondered, turning my head to him.
“Birds don’t have mates.” He said simply.
“Are you a bird?”
“Then how do you know?” He closed his eyes, sighing heavily.
“Ok, you have a point. So maybe you’re my bird mate.” He giggled and I smiled. I got up from the bathtub, wrapping my hair on a towel and wearing a robe, getting to the mirror to start my skin care. Azriel showed up on my side, wearing a robe as well and watching closely while I applied a face mask. “I want that too.”
“You want a face mask?”
“I want my face to be as soft as yours is.” He stated, grabbing a bottle and reading it.
“Then look at me.” I demanded, applying the mask on his face and rubbing with a brush, he giggled as he looked at the mirror, the green mask covering his face. “Now we clean the kitchen while we wait for it to dry.” He groaned, following me to clean the mess.
This time everything went great, we cleaned the kitchen and I finished the cookies. We sat in front of the fireplace, listening to the fire sounds, the hot breeze warming our bodies as we eat the cookies and Azriel talked about his histories in the mortal realm.
“I should take you there sometime. You’re really going to enjoy.” He smiled at me, his chin covered in cookies crumbs, I cleaned him with my thumb.
“You think so?” He nodded. “Then we should go once we have some free time. I want to eat mortal food.”
“You won’t like it, tastes like water.”
“But water don’t have a taste.”
“Exactly my love.” I rolled my eyes. We talked more, for hours throughout the night, I listened to him until my eyelids got heavy, and I could barely keep awake. “Let’s get you to bed.” He said getting up and pulling me with him, he hugged me while we walked, we got under the covers and he kissed the top of my head. “Love you puppy.”
“Love you Az.” I kissed him, feeling the sleep consuming my body. “Hey Az?”
“Can we do the exact same thing tomorrow?”
“Anything for you my love.”
Azriel and Truth Teller
So in ACOSAS, I describe Azriel's scent when he's aroused to be like 'a wave of smoked cedar and rich spice wrapped in heavy mist' and I've just discovered there's a candle by Glasshouse called 'Fireside in Queenstown' that smells exactly how I imagine it to be...
Top Notes: Clove, Cinnamon
Middle Notes: Orris
Base Notes: Guaiac Wood, Tonka
So.... guess what I'm getting myself for Christmas lol