#I would be sad as fuck if any of them cut me off but also they would have the right to do that if they needed to
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Alright I’m finally gonna address this because it frustrated me enough that it’s been sitting in my drafts for weeks (cw another long and angry ramble about respect and boundaries) ⬇️
This is just… very frustrating. I am an outspoken advocate for curating your internet experience, which means blocking people for any reason (from genuine irritation to just off vibes) if you feel the need to do so. I block empty blogs most of the time cause they annoy me. I’ve blocked people because I disagree with the things they post, or just because the way that they interact with me doesn’t feel great.
Not to sound like a real dick or anything, but I don’t owe any stranger on here anything. If we’ve been friends for a while, I might feel obligated to explain a hard block via DMs (which I have done before and will do again if the situation arises), but other than that, we’re all just strangers on here. If I have blocked you, it’s because I don’t want you to be interacting with my stuff anymore, that’s it.
The fact that this person felt the need to send this to me probably from an entirely separate tumblr, (despite us never having had even a whole conversation), just immediately tells me that they don’t respect my boundaries as a blog or a as person. Long answer short: no, I’m not going to explain specifically why, and I don’t think I need to.
If you’re decent and respectful, I promise I will have absolutely no problem with you. I appreciate y’all who follow me a fucking lot. Y’all have been lovely and kind and sweet to me, and I very much enjoy interacting with y’all.
If you and I don’t know each other at all and you do find yourself blocked here, though, I would prefer if you simply respect that boundary I’ve established and move on.
I’ve worked hard as fuck to try to have a good time on here, including being respectful and decent to others as best I can, but doing that work involves setting and respecting boundaries. I’m just an anxious human person existing in this wild hellscape, and I’m more than happy to do the complicated work of communicating with friends about conflict if need be, but I’ve also learned to be pretty hard and fast about those boundaries, and it’s helped me a lot.
Once again, to all y’all who follow me, appreciate what I do, and respect me (and also have gotten through all of this rambling):
I appreciate y’all endlessly. Please know that you boost my artistic self esteem and brighten my days routinely, and that means a heck of a lot to me❤️
#cerbin rambles#cerbin speaks#discourse#rant in tags#please for the love of god don’t do this kind of thing unless you have an established relationship#this is the internet no one knows each other unless you’ve been talking for like months and even then#I know very little about some of my internet buddies#I would be sad as fuck if any of them cut me off but also they would have the right to do that if they needed to#but I would simply have to accept it and just try to find other friends#I promise there are better and more interesting Doc Ock creators out there#idk I think I’m just pissed at this point but like#life is hard as fuck right now and I can’t deal with this#I just wanna make stuff and vibe with the people who vibe with me#have you seen the state of the US right now??#I can’t handle more stress#also if I’ve ever blocked u and u DMed me and we talked about it I’m not pissed at you#it was a meaningless block in the first place otherwise I wouldn’t have accepted the dm#you’re good#but to send an ask saying it’s fine that I’ve blocked someone but they want me to explain why is really irritating#if it’s fine that I blocked u why do you want me to explain why#maybe I’m just a massive c*nt but here we are#establish boundaries yall it’s important
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"is there any chance i can fix this?" where james and reader are best friends since birth but he begins to pull away and spend less time with her in favor of the boys, so she just cuts him out of her life and after a while he doesn't know how to deal with it anymore. hiiiii
sad beautiful tragic
james potter x fem reader (angst)
a/n: sorry about any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language (also i’m pretty bad at writing angst but i tried my best) also immediately thought of the title because of the taylor swift song, so hope you don’t mind the association. also the first kiss part came to my mind because of a tiktok i saw a few weeks ago but i don’t really remember who’s it was to credit them
warnings: friendship distancing, kissing, fighting, cursing, a bit short (sorry), happy ending
“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please”
you knew james potter and he knew you. knowing meaning comprehending each other, meaning that you stood by each others side for as long as you can remember.
he was your first friend. he was your neighbor and you both grew up together, it was expected that you both would know each other better than anyone.
sure, it felt different when you both started hogwarts and suddenly he had new friends, but so did you. you spent the time you could together, always saving a bit of your days for each other.
during the sixth to seventh year summer vacation, he had spent the whole summer with you, you both would hang out all the time.
until he kissed you.
it was the last day of summer and you both had spent the evening in his room. you were talking about a book you had been reading recently and he listened quietly, like it was the most interesting thing he had ever heard of. until you paused for a brief moment and he moved closer to you. you were sat on the floor with him, the carpet tickling your legs as you played with the fluffy yarn under you.
“honey” he said, you looked at him, doe eyed waiting for him to continue. “a phrase. two words, six letters, two vowels. guess.” he said lowly whilst looking at your lips. your mind went blank.
one vowel for each word. you still didn’t get it.
“what are the vowels?” you whisper back, he smiles.
“i and e” he answers, not taking his eyes from off of you for a second. you knew.
“kiss me?” and so he did. his lips met yours abruptly, his hands grabbed your hips and yours went straight to the back of his neck. it completely changed the way you ever saw him, hell, it completely changed your expectations to a kiss. it was better than anything you’d ever experienced and you loved it.
when you got back to school, it seemed like he didn’t do that, actually, it seemed like he didn’t even talk to you the whole summer.
sure, he did casually say hello in the halls and you might’ve shared one or two conversations, but what the hell? he kisses you like that and expects you to just forget about it? that was the most fucked up thing anyone could’ve done. as the semester went on, your mind was absolutely torturing you over that kiss.
it made you overthink every single thing you ever did around him. but maybe he didn't have time, maybe he was really busy with his studies and quidditch, right? that was probably it.
he saw you every once in a while, said an awkward hi or whatever that thing signaling head thing he did was.
the crush you had developed for him didn’t help at all. it made you crave his presence in your life, even now that you hated him more than you ever thought you possibly could. you missed his pet names for you, ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ sounded so amazing coming out of his mouth.
but from the moment he started to ignore you, you decided he was absolutely done. he was never going to see a smile coming from you ever again, he was never going to get another hello, nothing. james potter didn’t deserve a single thing from you.
your friends agreed. they thought he was a piece of shit and said you should’ve cut him off a long time before.
life went on without him, you barely thought about him. your studies were going well, everything was great.
christmas break came up and when you saw james at the train station, you were pissed. you knew he was going to be there for christmas dinner, he was always invited alongside with his family. you didn’t know how he was going to act then, was he going to pretend it never happened?
when you got home, your mother instantly started asking you what you wanted for dinner and you were glad to be home, you just hated that he was in the house next to yours.
a few nights after you both got home, you were invited for a date by steven, who worked at a bookstore near the city park. you said yes, he took you to see a shitty movie and tried to kiss you after dropping you off at your front porch. you dodged it and gave him a good night kiss on the cheek. james saw it all.
once the date left, you heard him yelling from his porch:
“who’s that?” you ignored him and went inside, sure, you weren’t going to see steven again but james didn’t deserve to know that.
on christmas day you went to the potter’s for dinner, your parents insisted for you to go, even though you tried to fake being sick. sirius was there too, you politely greeted all of them them and didn’t bother to answer james’ “hey”.
when you sad at the side of the living room table james sat next to you, even though that wasn’t his usual seat. you played with your dress awkwardly and ate less, being there was making you so irritated you lost your appetite.
after taking a bite from your desert, you thanked euphemia for the food and told your parents you were feeling a bit sick and that you were heading home, telling them to enjoy the rest of their night.
as you were opening the door to head out, you heard footsteps behind you. you knew james was there and you had no interest to talk with him.
“don’t” you simply stated, stepping out and shutting the door lightly on him, he followed you during the small walk between both your houses.
“hey!” he shouted, trying to get your attention. you were about to shut the door to your house on his face, but he held it with his foot, going into your house.
he pulled you by your wrist but you tugged it away from him.
“don’t touch me!” you shouted at him, staring into his eyes for the first time that night.
“now you can talk to me, huh? ‘the fucks up with you?!” he shouts back, brows furrowed. you couldn’t believe him, what a fucking nerve he had.
“whats up with YOU?!” you step closer to him, throwing your keys on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. “you’ve ignored me for the whole semester and now you wanna talk?” he had never seen you like this. you had never been this angry at anyone or anything around him.
“i’m sorry?” he had no reaction, he knew he was wrong, he just couldn’t deal with it. with anything. he didn’t know what to do after he kissed you, he couldn’t handle any of it. he knew that if he spent more time around you he would fall harder, he couldn’t risk it.
“i’m sorry! now that you don’t have anyone else near for you to talk to i’m worthy of your attention? i’m so lucky, right?!” your eyes started to tear up, but you held it in, he was not getting to see you cry.
“honey, i’m sorry i didn’t talk much with you these past few months, but i tried to speak with you tonight and you didn’t even bother to answer me!” he ran his hand through his hair, looking at you as you sat down on the couch, staring at your hands.
“you didnt even look at me. the entire fucking night. one lousy ‘hey’ is not trying to do anything” he handed you a piece of paper, it was crumpled up in his jeans’ pocket. you knew he was bad with words, but the paper was written front and back. what was he even trying to do? did he think a letter was enough to fix the damage he had done?
“really? you’re a little too late for this, don’t you think?” you said, looking at him angrily.
“fine, don’t read it then. just keep it, okay?” he knew you were about to cry. it was the worst feeling he had ever felt.
“you don’t get to do this to me, james” you hold back tears once you say it.
“i know, honey, i know” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your face as you try to not melt because of his touch. he kisses you, but this time you pull away.
“no. don’t do this to me” you say, a single tear streaming down your face, he wipes it off but more tears just keep coming
“im sorry, im so sorry for everything i did and-“ you interrupt him.
“could you just try to listen?!” you shout, pulling away from his touch again. “what makes you think that i want this? after all you did, better, all that you didn’t do?! you kiss me and expect me to forget about it? expect me to be okay with you ignoring me all the time just because you kissed me again? i can’t be okay with any of this unless you actually explain to me what happened. i really try to understand you, but all of this doesn’t help!”
“i love you” he says “i have loved you all my life and i didn’t know, after i kissed you it all hit me and i couldn’t trust myself around you anymore, i didn’t want to hurt you so i pulled away, i just didn’t know it would hurt you more like that. i’m sorry, but im here now and i want to show you how much I do love you” he pauses and sits next to you on the couch.
“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please” he wipes the tears from off your face again. you knew he meant it, you just didn’t know how to trust him again.
“i don’t know” you whisper, looking into his eyes, you had never seen him look this sad. you wanted to trust him, you really did, but how could you? how could you know he wasn’t going to pull something like that again?
you couldn’t be sure of anything, you could only hope for the best and be careful. so you gave it a shot.
“come here” you say lowly, pulling him in for a hug. he buried his face in the crook of your neck and gave you small kisses.
“i’m so sorry, baby” he whispered.
“i know” you whisper back, he looks at you and gives you quick kisses all over your face. you can’t help but smile.
it was going to take a while for you to trust him again, but you knew you could.
#james potter x reader#james potter fic#james potter#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter angst#james potter oneshot#james potter imagine#james potter fanfiction#mrsaluado#lila writes#silencesscreams
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Enough for you
Summary: You realized that maybe Miguel isn't who you thought he was.
Word count:1k+
warnings: Sad reader, Sad Miguel:(
Tag list: @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @munixumai @deputy-videogamer @blueberry-thrawn @neteyamsluvts @um-well @stinygirl009 @marcswife21 @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @juleshadalittlelamb @taygrls @tanchosanke @chuckle-nuts
A/n: Hello everyone and welcome to part two of “you?” I will most positively be making a part three coming very soon! Thank you all for reading! (I listened to the sour album while writing this series rough drafts)
Parts: One Two^ Three Four
Credits to the creator^
That night you cried yourself to sleep.
Partially because Miguel completely shot you down and partially because you left your friends and suit forever.
You couldn't bear to bring back the suit or go back to HQ knowing what you knew.
You could never face Miguel or any spider again.
You wanted to so desperately let it all go and forget.
But above all else there was a city that needed you and you’d always be there for them no matter what heartbreak comes your way.
In this moment, you wished you were as heartless as miguel.
Back at HQ Miguel was looking through endless security footage on all possible earths miles could have been on.
Truth was he needed a second pair of eyes.
“Lyla.” he barked out.
“Yes, boss.” she responded, appearing on his shoulder.
“Call y/n.” he said, pausing the footage to rub his eyes.
He could take advantage of this time to apologize.
“No can do.” she replied being short with him. To be fully honest Lyla had also had enough of his shit.
“What? Lyla it wasn't a question go get me Y/n. Now.” he said, not having the energy to deal with her jokes.
“No. Miguel, you don’t-” she tried again but he cut her off.
“Fine. I ‘ll go get her my fucking self.” he said swinging towards the door.
“She's gone, Miguel. And it's all your fault.” Lyla said behind him.
He froze,“What?” finding your watch and your suit he stopped thinking.
“She quit. Not just the spider society, she quit being a spider entirely. Because of what you said.” Lyla finished.
“ I didnt- I didnt mean it..” he said, clutching your suit in his hand.
“Well you said it anyway and it hurt her.” She responded, “And if I were her I‘d probably never come back too, she deserved better Miguel. Why did you lie?” she asked confused as to why he denied himself the chance of love.
“ I was angry I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t mean it.” he said barely above a whisper.
“Yeah well you sold it as far as keeping up an act goes.” she said, sighing.
Miguel could always fix his mistakes. This would be a first.
Sighing he stood straight and turned back to his desk.
Miguel had a decision to make, you or the fate of the multiverse.
It's like he said, there's no room for that kind of stuff for guys like him.
Once again he was right.
“Get Ben and Jess in here and have them start with earth 42.” he said, sounding more defeated than ever.
Still, he was clutching your suit as if you were still in it. Your scent lingering.
“Yes, boss.” was all Lyla could muster up at the moment.
Her artificial heart was breaking for the both of you. He was so close to telling you she could feel it.
It just wasn't his strongest moment.
Neither was this one as he took out his anger on the poor monitor that happened to be in his way.
Back at home you laid in bed trying to find the motivation to get back up but the truth was you didn't want to.
Everytime you tried to create a new suit you just heard Miguel's abusive words like it was the first time all over again.
And it just made you want to hide under the blankets forever.
Your spidey senses went off and then there came the portal.
You knew it wasn't Miguel, he could never.
“Hey webby? You alright in there?” you heard.
Peter.
Taking the covers off you came face to face with an exhausted Peter and a sleeping May Day.
“Heard what happened at HQ just wanted to check in if that's okay.” he added wondering if he could take a step closer.
“ I really screwed it up this time pete.” you said wiping the tears away for the millionth time.
God you felt pathetic.
“No way kid, that was all him. You know that right.” he said sitting next to you.
“ I should’ve been there. But even if I was, I don't know if I‘d be on his side. Miles is just a kid, We’ve all been there right?” you asked. Thinking this way makes you feel guilty.
You should stand behind Miguel at all times.
But now what did it matter you’d never step foot in HQ ever again anyways.
“You're allowed to think whatever you want. He can't take that from you.” Peter reassured me.
He was right.
“You think you’ll ever come back?” he asked, he almost entirely knew the answer but he still held out hope for you.
“ I don't think so Pete, I‘m sorry.” you said looking down in shame.
The reality was you could never face him again.
“Don’t be I wouldn't stand for that either I ‘m pretty sure a lot of us are done for too anyways but listen, you’re never going to be alone.” he said putting a hand on your shoulder.
“If you ever decide to come back not just as spider woman, but to the society, just know you have people in your corner.” he said, giving you a warm smile.
“Thanks pete.” you said as he stood opening a portal.
“Hey pete?” you called out.
Turning back to you he waited for you to continue.
“Don’t ever stop sending me Pictures of May Day. I need my daily serotonin boost.” you said with a soft smile earning yourself a chuckle in return.
“Never kid.” he said as he walked his way into the portal.
A soon as he was gone you went back under the covers and took a deep breath.
Peeking your head out from under the cover you looked at the picture you had framed on your wall.
It was of you receiving the key to the city.
Your city, the one you saved day and night.
Whenever it called for you.
You earned that key the same way you earned the title of spider-woman.
And you weren’t gonna let some words take that from you.
Wiping the fresh tears away you got out of bed putting Miguel's words in the back of your head and got to designing.
You were bigger than his words and you’d prove it.
In that moment you promised you’d make him regret ever making you feel like you’re not good enough.
One day he’s gonna feel sorry for himself.
And one day you’ll be everything to somebody else.
And he’ll be the one who's crying.
Yeah, one day.
*If you’d like to be added to the tagslist just let me know I am more than happy to :)
#miguel o'hara#miguel x reader#Miguel#miguel spiderverse#miguel o'hara x reader#spiderman#across the spiderverse#spider-man 2099#marvel#Oscar Isaac
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could you do a subtle (maybe teering on mid/heavy) dominance with carm and they’re getting ready for bed ? ( you don’t have to do getting ready for bed it just the first thing that came to mind) anyways thanks in advance !!

You walked through the door, shedding your clothes with each step. "I can not fucking wait to get in this bed, and I swear to God I'm not leaving it all day tomorrow." You huffed, flinging a shoe then the other towards the closet door.
Carmen snorted lightly, setting down his phone to look at you. "Yeah? Sounds good t'me, baby. You know I won't stop you." He grinned, lazy and sweet, your chest feeling with warmth.
You rolled your eyes lightly, bending over to shimmy out of your jeans. Carmen's eyes were trained on you, tongue running over his bottom lip. "Was the dinner that bad?" He asked. He got his answer with how hard you flung the jeans towards the hamper.
"The worst, Carm." You huffed, falling dramatically on the bed beside him. "I don't understand what the purpose of a work dinner even is. We didn't even fucking work, and the food was so disgusting, I couldn't even eat it-"
"-Hold on." Carmen held up his hand, eyes cutting to you. "You didn't eat? You didn't eat at all?"
You huffed, an eye roll of a sigh that had Carmen's brow raising at you. "No, Carmy, I didn't eat. It was disgusting. I couldn't even fake it. Plus, with how much Tonya was talking, I didn't really get a chance."
"Baby, that's not..." Carmen was already rolling out of bed.
"Carmen." You groaned, rolling over to the other side of the bed. "I'm fine. I'll be alright."
"You're hungry." Carmen insisted, one look at you and he could see the way you paused, just a passing second, but it was enough for him to know he was right. "What do you want to eat, huh? I've got a left over sandwich in the fridge or-or I can make you somethin'."
"I'll be fine, Carmy, please." You whined, pushing up on your arms to watch him pad down the hall. "Come back to bed. I just wanna sleep."
"I'm not letting you go to bed on an empty stomach. I know you haven't eaten shit since this morning," True. "And I know you didn't drink any water today, and you'll wake up all sad and sick tomorrow and be in a terrible fuckin' mood." Also true. Carmen knew it, the finality of his voice told you that.
"I will not." You pouted, crossing your arms over your bare chest.
"I'm not arguin' with you about this." Carmen's tone was firm- final. It sent chills down your spine, thighs pressing together. "So what did Tonya talk about?"
"Her kids. One wants to be a chef and she was asking me pointers, like I would know." You rolled your eyes, shimmying your body half off the bed to grab one of Carmen's shirts- your favorite one to sleep in, slipping it over your body.
"Tell her to tell them to not fuckin' do it, that's my advice." Carmen muttered, a plate clattering on the counter.
You could feel the guilt settling in your tummy, in a deep pit that had you fidgeting. The guilt of Carmen taking care of you, when you'd been to careless to do it yourself. You knew he didn't mind but it still made you feel a little uneasy, even when he brought the sandwich in, glass of water in his free hand.
"You really didn't have to do that, Carmy. I was fine." You muttered, looking at the plate in front of you.
"Stop." Carmen shook his head at you. "Eat, alright? Don't need to be goin' all day without eatin'. You know that."
"I could afford to miss a meal, I promise. I'd be alright." Though your tone was teasing, playing on the edge of a joke, Carmen found it anything but funny.
"What did you just say?" Carmen's eyes were hard, cutting like his tone. You paused, looking at him carefully. It was a tone he rarely used, saved it for the kitchen. Only bringing it out on times when he was really upset.
"I was just-"
"Don't you ever let me hear you say some shit like that again, you hear me?" Carmen's jaw flexed, shaking his head at you. You could feel the warmth spreading from your cheeks to your chest. Embarrassment? Maybe at being chastised like that. But judging by the dull ache between your legs, you knew it was probably something else.
"Eat your food." Carmen nodded, still firm but with a softer edge this time.
You didn't argue, his tone was final, you were hungry, and, fuck, was that sandwich good. A classic Italian sub with a positively Carmy twist on it. Carmen waited until you finished your water- after having to remind you to finish it with so much as a sigh and a "there's that much left, just drink it f'me please?"- pulling you under the covers with him to listen to the rest of your dinner.
You felt better. Soured attitude dissipated and the dull headache forming behind your eyes was gone, no longer thudding with every beat of your heart.
#thebearerblurbs#thebearer#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto smut#carmy smut#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto#carmy the bear#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmy berzatto x you
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i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)
a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...
anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.
let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.
give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")
but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.
...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)
(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)
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I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done
my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION
I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut
Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.
here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.
So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.
For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....
I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time
OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard
#cult of the lamb#cotl#kallamar#plushie#felt craft#does this count as a plush or is it like a doll idfk#I just make shit because I feel like it not cause I can categorize it in any way#drug cw#ONLY CAUSE OF THE REAL PIPE#THERE IS NO ACTUAL DRUG USE HAPPENING
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i like to eat human flesh
-> zombie lu 🧟♂️ (fem!reader)
warnings: MDNI, smut, blood, sharp objects (knives), murder, luffy is zombie, riding, bondage, ‘feedings’, monster fucking, cream pie, knotting
summary: YOU LOCKED YOUR ZOMBIE BOYFRIEND UP IN YOUR BASEMENT, CAN YOU TRUST HIM NOT TO EAT YOU?
☆彡
you waited for the perfect time, you eyed the blond haired man for thirty minutes before deciding to make your move. trembling in your fingertips as the grip on your knife tightened. there was no time for error, it was now or never. feedings always had you feeling like this, the regret and second thoughts consumed your sorry mind. nothing else mattered to you once you remembered the predicament you were in.
the blond didn’t seem much trouble, he only sat there to chain smoke his cigarettes and chat with the pretty women that passed by. he was predictable, and you used that to your advantage. it was becoming later in the night, all traces of people disappeared, leaving only him behind. you then revealed yourself from the lurks of the shadows. a few deep breaths was all you needed to regain your confidence, you carefully made your way closer.
immediately he noticed your presence and started spewing flirty phrases at you. though, you couldn’t register any of his remarks, you could only just move.
he puffed his cigarette and smiled warmly. “hello gorgeous, mind if i-” you quickly raised your knife to his throat, cutting a line horizontally.
blood mist sprayed across face and you heard the thud of a grown man dropping to the floor, the ensemble shaking you to your core. ‘oh my… god? shit… gotta go. now.’
you rushed to bag the man and disposed of any possible evidence. luckily enough, you didn’t run into any witnesses on your commute back, your small house was only a couple more meters away. the mans stiff body weighed a thousand bricks as you dragged him along, you struggled but feeding your boyfriend was your only worry.
your poor baby, you hated doing this but you wanted to take care of him anyway that you could. the first week was the hardest for the both of you.
luffy had been feeling kind of off these past few days but he told you not to worry, he reassured you that it was probably just something he ate and that he had just a little stomach bug.
that wasn’t the case though, you still have no idea what exactly it was but his little ‘stomach bug’ turned out to be so much more life threatening. one afternoon you came home to him violently shaking and foaming at the mouth, he was hardly breathing. once your rushed to join him on the cold floor he stopped.. almost as if he was waiting to share his last breaths with you. he choked and cried as blood drained from his mouth, he was pleading for you.
“y/n- please… help me.” he stoped, every muscle in his body completely still and shut down.
you laid there with his blood staining your hands as you tried to tell him that he would be okay. hot tears never stopping to fall from your face, you held his dying body.
he somehow turned into a lifeless monster, skin cold and eyes blank, he was a zombie? you never thought it was possible it your lifetime but… luffy…
you couldn’t bear loosing your love, so you kept him.
currently he was tied up in tattered ropes but it always wasn’t that way.
his symptoms weren’t so bad in the beginning, but he started to show dark veins trickling up and down his body, he had also gone non verbal.
you tried everything. how was he dead one second, then up and moving the next? it was a confusing time.
you thought medication would solve your problems but that also didn’t work, he refused to take them. you aslo didn’t have access to pharmaceuticals so you tried advil and ibuprofen, it was a sad attempt but you hoped it would do something.
he began to get worse, he threw furniture and had groaning tantrums when you wouldn’t let him leave the house. he was getting stronger and more aggressive, it terrified you but there was no way in hell you’d give up now.
“luuuu..” you spoke quietly as you entered the room. your boyfriend looked so spent and defeated, his limbs were tied to the arms and legs of the chair but his head was tossed back as whines and breathy groans fled his mouth.
his head perked up at the sight of you, never once acknowledging the body you dragged along.
“baby please eat, you haven’t for the past few days, i’m trying everything… you didn’t like the animals i’ve brought you, please what is it you need.”
you pled with your eyes looking desperately into his own, hoping to get some sort of answer. you quickly realized talking wasn’t going to get you anywhere. your warm hand came to softly hold the side of his cold, decaying face. he closed his eyes and growled. with his reaction, it was easy to tell what he was wanting. he was reminding you so much of the old lu..
his eyes grazed every inch of your body as you saw him struggle in his restraints. he wanted you so bad but he didn’t know how to ask for it, he hoped you would get the hint from his motions.
he’s relearned simple words again from listening to you all day, you spent as much time as you could with him in your basement because you felt he would grow lonely without the presence of society. he’s only really learnt commands like, ‘no’ and ‘please’, but you’re grateful for how far he’s come.
it wasn’t until this moment that you knew what he needed, your touch. the way he looked at you and how he would shuffle his hips up in the chair made you so sad. you’ve had him here, tied up, and he just wanted to touch himself, or rather, you.
‘no’. you shook your head. you couldn’t possibly think to fuck your zombie boyfriend. his icy hand all over you, his pretty lips, the way his cock stimulated you perfectly.. ‘no!’ but the thoughts made you curious and you missed the touch of your sweet boyfriend. seeing him needy and somewhat obedient again drove you insane.
it was almost like it really was him, the tender look in his pale eyes made you emotional.
“luffy~ hi babes.” you touched his icy skin, all fear leaving your body seeing him act so delicate.
“so.. you’re not hungry lu?” you gestured to the brown sack bag in the corner of the room with blood patches staining the outside. he shook his head quickly, low growls muttering through his chapped lips.
“and you’re not gonna bite me if i touch you? right baby?” you kneel down before him feeling up the length of his jeans, playing with the stubborn buttons and zips.
a deep hunger like moan rippled in the room, he moved his hips up again but you removed your hands.
“say something lu- you’re not going to hurt me, right?”
he couldn’t formulate proper words with some of his vocal cords mutilated but you could understand him most of the time. the vibrato in his voice dragged along.
“mmHghhhhgahHh y-y/naahGghhAgg-”
he nodded his head to agree to your previous question, growls and snarls accompanying his eager movements. his moans were like no other, he truly was a monster. though, you couldn’t help but fall apart at the sounds of hearing him call out your name again.
luffy looked so innocent tied up in his ropes, you wanted to take care of him. if he wasn’t gonna eat, you could at least help him feel good. the growing knot in your stomach also wanted to please your helpless zombie boyfriend.
“fuck it.” you muttered. “let me help you luffy, gonna take these off okay?”
you played with the buttons of his pants, struggling to get them off. the nerves mixed with anticipation made you tremble. you haven’t touched your boyfriend in a few weeks, though it truly felt like an eternity.
luffy couldn’t wait either, and it showed when you saw many wet spots decorating his gray boxers.
a gasp escaped your lips as you saw the sheer width of him through the thin fabric. you were unsure if it was some sort of zombified mutation or if it was his pent up frustration, but he was thick.
he was moving more and more at the slightest touches from you but the ropes held his top half relatively still, his whines growing restless. luffy was trying to let you know that he needed you now, he prayed that you understood his intentions.
you finally got his boxers off and your eyes widened, your panties collecting moisture at the sight of him.
his fat, curved cock sprung up with such elasticity, he smacked hard against his torso. he looked so beautiful. so wide and leaky, his tip was black as night fading all the way down to his ghostly pale base. it made you squirm, remembering that he was undead.
he growled again at you, he was becoming more vocal as to say, ‘hurry up’.
hearing his deep moans made your tummy flutter, you rushed to undress yourself. the chill air of the basement made you shiver, you needed him to stretch you out.
you raised yourself onto his lap to line your entrance up carefully with his twitching cock, preparing to lower yourself down slowly.
his devious mind had other ideas, completely ignoring your preparations and fucking himself up to meet his thighs with your ass, bottoming out as he stretched your tight little hole.
“luffy!!!” you cried, you didn’t have the chance to adjust to his width, you sat there for a moment with your face hung in the crook of his neck, tears falling from your face.
it took quite some time but you thought you were ready to move. with tears still trickling, you began to rock your hips. the pain slowly turned into pleasure.
luffy’s thick cock stirred inside you, hitting more spots than from when he was human. you stretched so beautifully around him, making a mess all over his thighs. the combination of his harsh thrusts and semi-automatic dick rutting inside you had you slamming down hard on him, you couldn’t keep your eyes open. you were trapped.
with his arms still tied, he only hadso much to work with, his cock and his drooling mouth. he felt his orgasm coming with the sight of your pretty face finally comsumed with the pleasure of his monster dick. his balls so heavy from not being drained for several weeks, he needed to release in you.
he felt your tight muscles clench around the base of his cock, groaning deeply with you. his thick load ready to destroy your insides.
his devilish urges couldn’t escape, he needed to bite. with the mix of waves of pleasure and the loud whimpers foaming from your mouth, it only felt natural. he lowered his head to the crevasse of your neck as you bounced on his pulsing cock, riding out your orgasm. he sucked hard on your warm skin, wetnesses and drool dripping down your collarbone. the feeling making you dizzy and incoherent, you didn’t feel the pain until it was too late. his suckles formed into nibbles.
your moans quickly turned into yelps, you were still surrounding his heavy cock but almost immediately you recovered from your orgasm.
the taste of your sweet blood filled him, giving him more energy then ever. you felt his cock stiffen again inside of you. “l-luffy! what are you doing! stop it!!” you struggled to move, his cock thickening within your gummy walls.
he was knotted, his tip so large you couldn’t escape. with his mouth still attached, he fucked into you harder. the taste of your rich blood and the ecstasy of your perfect cunt, it felt as if he was alive again.
your screams where ignored as he used your pathetic little body, completely lust and blood drunk.
the mix of feelings confused you, the pleasure you felt in your core was other worldly, but was it worth being fed on? you began feeling lightheaded as he drained you of blood cells, you couldn’t separate from him and he didn’t stop. you went limp on his body, reality started to fade away..
-
you eventually woke up, the room was quiet and the chair was empty. ‘did he escape?’ panic started to settle in, how could you let this happen? you knew he was a threat!
shuffling footsteps was all you heard behind you, it was hard to move from all of your injuries but he was met with you soon enough.
all his teeth were on display as he smiled devilishly at you, darkened blood painted from his chin to his chest.
he limped closer to you, groans and growls echoing in the confinement of your cold basement.
“luffy- please, don’t do this!! baby!! it’s me!” you tried, as if a pathetic plea would stop such a monster..
*munch munch munch*
he eats you :3
if u like!!! pls lmk i love being praised 🙈
#one piece x reader#one piece smut#luffy x reader#luffy x you#luffy smut#monkey d luffy x reader#monkey d luffy#one piece#monkey d. luffy#op luffy#monkey d luffy smut#one piece scenario#one piece fanfiction#one piece headcanons
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Swordswoman showdown FINALS
Hornet (Hollow Knight) vs Xena (Xena: Warrior Princess)
(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")
Propaganda below cut
Hornet
Technically its not a sword but she wields a needle in a setting where swords do not exist and she wields it in an exceedingly swordlike fashion so. She counts; Girlboss demigoddess spider lady. She's been protecting an entire kingdom for longer than many of the other characters have been alive. She systematically kills her siblings for being too weak. She's simply the best.
#im pretty sure hornet can beat like. anyone in a fight.#have you ever fought hornet#its so fucking hard getting past her every time i play hk i go literally insane.
#i remember getting stuck on the first hornet fight on mt first play through and bring likr#''omg the boss fights in this are so hard!!!''#like what. you're not even half way through what are you talking about#you can't even DASH honey. you don't know what's diffcult or not in this game.
So, SPOILERS
but I feel like the "she systematically kills her siblings" part needs a little clarification. See, one of her siblings was used as a living prison for an angry god and that uh. Didn't work out for the sibling in question or anyone else.
This account is itself heavily abbreviated but it's likely that any other sibling Hornet encounters will be trying to take over as the god's new prison. She appears to challenge any sibling she sees to battle, in order to test their resolve against herself and her needle - would they actually have a chance against that god?
We never actually see her kill any siblings, but she does quite pointedly tell one of them that (to paraphrase) "My needle is lethal and I would feel no sadness in a weakling's demise."
Feels like a relevant quote. In any case, if they can't beat Hornet, it seems like her needle would be a far more merciful end than what the god would grant.
Anyway, a bit of additional material for @swordswomanshowdown :
As is the case for any cool swordswoman, it's not just her sword that's lethal, it's her with it. And Hornet's needle was custom made for her - the creators have said that, while other needles exist, hers was made specifically for her to wield, and its construction allows her to use her spider silk better in combat.
And another thing that I think makes her a good swordswoman: she's actually pretty thoughtful about how she uses it. There's a least one instance where she tries to warn someone off before fighting them! At the same time, when she does fight, she seems to enjoy it - during her boss battles, you can hear her laugh sometimes, as if exhiliarated. She's really got it all, as a swordswoman!!!
#HORNET SWEEP CMON PLEEEEEEASE#shes gay. shes the only sibling with a gender. shes a spider named HORNET. look like croissant. whats not to like
Xena
Warrior Princess
She wields a sword and chakram. Just had to submit a biconic swordswoman.
i love her. she made me gay as a kid. Anyway, her weapon of choice is her sword, she is obviously very good with it
#unfortunately i have to choose and i have to choose xena#a) utena had no warcry. b) xena fought gods. c) xena has kickass goofy comic book combat which is my favorite
xena didn’t just fight gods. she fucked up a girl’s life so bad that she (calisto) devoted her entire being to destroying everything that xena loved that ended up with calisto becoming a god in order to destroy xena, which didnt work because xena entombed her in lava. and then when xena and gabrielle encountered calisto in the (christian) afterlife (different from the greek one which they also fought her in), calisto dragged gabrielle to hell so xena became an archangel in order to save gabrielle and then sacrificed herself in order to undo all the harm that she did in calisto’s life and then when not!jesus (played by timothy omundson) revives xena and gabrielle, calisto impregnates xena with the reincarnation of calisto’s soul in order to end the cycle of hate. xena doesnt just fight gods. she creates and destroys them
#this isnt even mentioning her fighting julius ceasar several times#telling brutus that caesar is not his friend#xena and gabrielle’s souls reincarnating across centuries in order to kick ass and fall in love all over again#or the time xena became a god but tbh that ep is kinda ‘uhhhhh…..’ even if they did hire a consultant for it
#I think everyone here knows to vote for Xena. I think a couple people here might have some propaganda for Xena saved already#everyone remember that Xena/Gabrielle is CANON and that's a pretty big deal also#(does anyone have that Xena Loves Trans People interview around because that would also make good propaganda)
I love Xena ❤️ 😍 💖 ❣️
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Also another one for Rolan, since some people seem to have a mod that replaces Gale with Rolan or something? I've only seen screenshots... Anyway, how does Rolan's magic play into his romantic life? Is he also into super weird astral projection threesomes? Does he summon pianos to play music in the background? Does he entangle his partner? Questions upon questions
I think I've come across that mod while modding my own game! I considered figuring out how to use it to kiss Dammon and then decided not to, maybe I should reconsider? Either way, I hope you enjoy the headcannons even if half of them are SFW, I actually used my new mechanical keyboard to write them instead of my phone (this fancy keyboard makes me so excited lmao)
NSFW under the cut
CW: Double penetration, Voyeurism, clone sex, bondage
Everyday magic with Rolan
SFW
Rolan LOVES some mundane magic, any opportunity is a good time to practise his magic
Your houseplants are looking a little sad? Don’t worry, he’ll use a spell to summon some water for them
You don’t have enough hands to multitask cooking a fancy dinner? He’s ready to help and doesn’t even need to stand
You hate cleaning the much too high up windows in Ramaziths Tower? Rolan has that handled too, don’t worry about it
He’s always looking for new ways to reinvent spells and impress those around him and that extends to his domestic duties as well
Sometimes, if he’s feeling a little cheesy, he’ll summon a gentle gust of wind to knock you off balance just enough for him to swoop in all romantically and be your prince charming
You’ll also generally find him perusing his library with an assortment of books and quills floating near him, or being moved off to the side when he doesn’t have need of them anymore
Mind your head if he doesn’t know you’re there, the room is essentially filled with projectiles
Rolan is also a master at summoning things over to his desk as he works so he never has to get himself up
That is, until you insist on dragging him away for a break
NSFW
If you don’t think Rolan uses his magic during sex then you don’t know this man
He loves some good vanilla love making, and it’s usually his go to, but using his magic simply adds some spice to things
Rolan is fully willing to make a magic clone of himself for the sole purpose of fucking you, whether he’s off to the side simply watching or getting in on the action himself he’s happy either way
He’s surprisingly into spitroasting you with his clone, especially when he gets to tease you as you’re moaning around said clone
Another thing he’s into is double penetration, there’s nothing Rolan loves more than seeing you spread out and taking two of his cocks
That’s not the extent of how he can use his talents in the bedroom however, far from it
Having magic abilities also makes bondage much, much easier luckily for Rolan
He could work it out ‘the normal way’ if he wanted, but this wizard would rather just skip to the good part
Silk ropes or thorned vines, Rolan just loves to see you bound and at his mercy, writhing with every touch of his skilled fingers
You’ll be feeling the fleeting touches of fingertips over sensitive spots for what seems to be hours (but is truly mere minutes) before he finally pulls you against him and has his way with you
Rolans not usually one for manhandling, rathering sweet kisses and declarations of love while taking care of your needs in bed, but using his magic in these ways lights a particular fire in him
Hopefully you’re able to hang on for the ride
#bri answers#baldurs gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3 smut#bg3 smut#baldurs gate 3 x reader#bg3 x reader#baldurs gate 3 rolan#bg3 rolan#rolan x reader#rolan x reader smut
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what once was mine
Summary: Karlach is back. For good this time. And she just wants to have her love back so they can finally spend the rest of their lives together like they had planned. Things just never seem to go her way.
Word Count: 8k
Warnings: swearing, violence, murder, typical BG3/DND themes
Pairing: Karlach Cliffgate x Reader
The birds were singing.
It didn’t matter how long Karlach had been out of Avernus. She knew she would never go back to Avernus thanks to the blueprints she and Wyll had found. By all accounts, she was free. And in the end, even that didn’t diminish the sounds of the birds singing in the air around her.
Her life had been idyllic since coming back from Avernus for the last time. It had been nearly two years since she had finished her adventure with Tav and the gang. Nearly two years since she had made the choice - which she had initially regretted but now celebrated - to fight for her life. Now, the rest of the gang had settled fairly close together, living their own lives of peace.
Something about defeating a Netherbrain really took the thrill of adventure out of a person, she supposed.
She enjoyed her days around Baldur’s Gate. At first, she hadn’t been sure if she could emotionally handle living in the city again. It held many great memories, but it also held tainted memories. The ghosts of things she could have had if not for Gortash and Zariel. The reminders of a love she had lost and couldn’t find again.
Those fears had been unwarranted, though, and she was more than happy to be living in Baldur’s Gate again. It felt like home to her, like the place she had been desperately trying to get back to. The entire gang - aside from Shadowheart and Lae’zel, who had settled in a farmhouse outside the gates - had moved in, enjoying their time together. Karlach could have guests. She could have a family again.
But Karlach could never get over losing you. Not when everything in the city reminded her of you. You were in the children’s laughter as they ran down the streets playing stickball. You were in the soft, hushed words someone gave her lover as they sat for tea. You were in the sun on the hottest of days, kissing her skin and leaving her warm and whole.
Gortash had told her about you before she had killed him. He had told her eagerly. She didn’t know if he had wanted to get her angry, or sad, or whatever else. She didn’t really fucking care, all she knew was it was his fault anything had happened in the first place.
“They’re an Oathbreaker now,” Gortash said between gasps for air. “Did you know?”
“Who the fuck are you talking about?” Karlach asked. She wished to just cut his head off and be done with him. She wanted her vengeance.
“Your pup.”
Karlach let the blade of her axe rest heavily on Gortash’s neck as his words sunk in. He was talking about you. And just the thought of something happening to you had her infernal heart roaring. Something had hurt you. Something had hurt you so badly you had broken your Oath. That was sacred. That damn Oath was your life.
“They frighten even me now,” he continued. “You should be proud.” She pressed the axe deeper into his skin. “They’ve gained quite the kill count.”
“You don’t get to talk about them,” Karlach growled.
“Maybe they’ll work with Zariel next,” he said with a sparkle in his eye and a sadistic smile. “It’s not like they have anything left to lose.”
Karlach lifted the axe, let out a guttural scream, and slammed it down on his neck. His head separated from his body with ease before rolling a few feet across the room.
She didn’t feel any better.
Tav had done her best to talk Karlach down from a panic attack, but that only worked so well. Eventually she made sense, saying that she couldn’t help you if she blew a gasket. Karlach couldn’t help but laugh because she was right. The last thing she needed was to overheat and not be able to help you. Wherever you were.
You were her next adventure. Her last adventure.
“I thought I’d find you up here,” Tav’s voice came from the other end of the rooftops. “Astarion said you hadn’t left since last night.”
“I knew he was being a sneaky bastard,” Karlach said with a smile as she pulled her knees up to her chest to make room for Tav.
“He’s worried about you,” she said. “We all are.”
Karlach sighed and rested her chin on her knees. She knew they were all worried. She could feel it in the looks they gave her and the too-soft touches. When they would hesitate, for just a second, before pulling her into a hug or patting her on the shoulder. When they choked on a sentence because, at least in their minds, it was too reminiscent of her hunt for you.
She loved that they all cared, but she didn’t think she could stomach it for much longer.
“Have you seen them again?”
Again. That word was haunting Karlach’s consciousness. It had been more than a few fortnights since she had found you and seen what had truly happened. What you had become after she had been sold to fight a war that she wanted no part in. Since she had more or less abandoned you and her parents through no fault of her own.
Karlach had done a lot of investigative work - which admittedly was really fucking shoddy - before having the slightest clue where you were. It took a lot of schmoozing, a lot of bribing Astarion with good wine, and a lot of talking with criminals before she finally heard of a supposed werewolf attack in the Lower City. Now that she could work with.
Her axe was strapped securely on her back as she stood in the middle of an intersection. It had been a while since night had fallen and the nearly full-moon had risen to illuminate the streets. If she looked carefully, she could see a few rats skittering across the cobblestone and into the sewers. In the distance, she heard laughter from the tavern a few blocks away.
Unless your internal rhythm had changed - and she assumed it hadn’t - you would be somewhere nearby. She should be able to hear the fracturing of bone and the whimpers that accompanied it. Neither you nor Karlach ever knew if it was a curse, a mutation, or you were just unlucky, but you wouldn’t only change on a full moon. You would partially change on almost full moons as well.
In an attempt to make you feel better about it, she had used to call you her special pup. You used to like it.
She hoped you still did.
Her right ear twitched at a sound that she couldn’t decipher. Listening harder, she heard it again. There you were. There was no doubt in her mind it was you. She hadn’t fought her way out of Avernus twice just to not be able to tell you apart from anyone else. Without looking anywhere else, she ran in the direction of the whimpers.
As much as Karlach didn’t think she would need it, she kept a mental note to grab her axe when she found you. If you were anything like what Gortash had tried to claim, she might need to knock a bit of sense back into you. Get you back to that kind soul she knew back in the day. But with each step she took, she got more unsure of what she would find.
Hells, she hadn’t felt that nervous since her first few nights in Avernus.
The sounds of screaming from men was enough to make her really nervous. There shouldn’t have been any screaming, at least not from other people. It should have only been you and her. You and me against the world, darling. That’s what you had always told her before she would leave for work. It should have still been that way.
It wasn’t.
Karlach would have recognised you even if she had lost her mind. You were her person, her love, she would never forget a single thing about it. The barb of your tail, the cut of your hair, the piercings in your ears that you had begged her to get with you. Matching piercings. Now that you were both older, it almost seemed childish.
She nearly tripped over a singed body because she was so enthralled by you. You. That was all it took to rid her of any sense. Gods, she had forgotten what you did to her. How just the sight of you alone was enough to set every inch of her alight. In a good way, of course.
There was an itch that she wanted you to scratch. The itch to feel your skin underneath her fingertips again. She wanted to trace your scars and kiss every random scale you had. Karlach wanted to know if your skin felt as warm as she remembered, or if it would be cooler now that she ran hot instead. And if she let her mind go to far more inappropriate places, she wanted all of that again too.
A strangled cry caught her attention again. Damn, she had gotten lost in you already. Maybe she should have taken Lae’zel up on her offer to accompany her for the night. At least then she wouldn’t be getting quite so distracted. At least not openly. Or maybe she would, she was already getting distracted again.
From where Karlach was standing, she couldn’t see your face. Only the back of your head, the tips of your horns, the clenched fist at your side, the way your ears laid flat against the side of your head. If memory served - and it did - you were at your most terrifying when your ears were tucked. You were one to try and hide any negative emotions, but your ears gave you away. Karlach had always loved it. She was undecided if she loved it in that moment.
In front of you was a man, no older than you or her, perhaps even a bit younger. He was on the ground, trying to scramble backwards away from you. Every inch he moved, you followed, your tail swinging slowly behind you. The words that came out of his mouth were rushed, but she knew begging when she heard it.
She couldn’t see your mouth, but there was a glow to your hand when you lifted it in front of him. If she didn’t want you to kill that man, she had better say something. Quickly. But what could she say? Hey there, long time no see! That would be stupid. Did you miss me? She didn’t think she could handle it if you said no.
She settled for something far more simple.
“Hello, love.”
The magical light in the man’s eyes settled into a dim glow as your own light faded. In Karlach’s mind, she pictured the look on your face. Euphoria. Pure joy that she was back, you could both enjoy the life you had always talked about. Perhaps, if you were truly feeling it, a small tear born from happiness. Her mind ran rampant with images of you running toward her, throwing your arms around her shoulders and holding her so tight you were both of one mind, body, and soul.
It wasn’t what she got.
You turned slowly, and more and more of your face was revealed to Karlach. Inch by inch she saw you. It was like the worst play she had ever seen in her life. She got to see the snarl of your lips ease, turning into something more… pitiful. If you had been anyone else, she would have described it as pathetic. The fist at your side turned into shaking fingers.
The look in your eyes was like a dagger through her heart.
“Karlach?”
Your voice quaked the same it had the night you were bitten. Terrified. Hopeless. Small. There, that was the perfect description for how you sounded. You sounded small. But if there was one thing Karlach had gotten right in her imagination, it was the tear that slid down your cheek.
It just wasn’t happy like she had wanted.
“No,” Karlach finally answered Tav. “I haven’t seen them since then.”
In a move that had always warmed Karlach’s heart, Tav leaned over and rested her head on her shoulder. It was a gentle move, one that had enticed everyone in the group at one point or another. Something that instilled far more calm than it had any right to. And Karlach was falling for it yet again, indicative by the calming of her racing heart. Er, engine.
“You’ll find them,” Tav said softly. “Maybe you’ll find them in the city having tea.” She laughed. “Wouldn’t that be quite the treat?”
Initially, Karlach had laughed. After how hard she had tried to find you the first time, it was a funny thought. To just happen upon you by chance in the city? It didn’t even matter if it was the Upper or Lower, the thought alone was enough to have her laugh. Wouldn’t that be the best luck in the world?
Perhaps it wasn’t so funny after all.
Karlach did find you having tea in the Lower City. Or, not exactly tea, but she caught you having a drink. She had made it a habit to go by taverns in the evenings not to find you, but to relax. Enjoy the scenery and the social aspect of it all. Having drinks alone in her own home wasn’t quite as enjoyable and, honestly, it made her sad.
So of course she had stopped by the Blushing Mermaid. A simple tavern full of seedy criminals and illicit business. There were nightly brawls, horrible songs, shitty people, and stiff drinks. It was some of the most fun Karlach got into since she had informally retired from adventuring. Few places gave her as much excitement as that tavern.
But when she walked into the tavern and looked for a place to sit, she saw a familiar pair of horns and tail. She didn’t think twice before walking over to where you were sitting. A small table for two, and lucky for her, the second seat was empty.
“Mind if I join you?” She asked.
You flinched.
“Not at all,” you said.
She could feel your eyes on her as she sat down across from you. Well, she didn’t only feel it, she saw you watching her. The same way she watched you. Unblinking. Like seeing you was nothing more than a dream, and if she looked away then you would disappear. Or she would disappear, she wasn’t sure what would be more nightmarish.
You locked eyes even after she sat. It was uncomfortable, to feel like you were staring into her very soul. Karlach would always remember your eyes, she had always gotten lost in them. They had the most miniscule light in them, nearly illuminating them in the dark. Not too different from her own when she heated up.
Gods, she had missed your eyes.
You eventually pushed a tankard toward her. “Here,” you said. “You look like you could use it.”
“Thanks, love,” she said, eagerly taking it and downing it. She did need it.
Uncharacteristically, a barmaid came over to the table and leaned against it. She was pretty. Not just by seedy tavern standards, but just in general. There was no reason she should be by the table. Karlach desperately hoped she wasn’t going to get roped into some ridiculous job.
“Hungry, darling?” The barmaid asked you.
Karlach bristled at the use of the pet name.
But you looked directly at Karlach and waited with expectant eyes. Oh. Oh, that gave her butterflies. Some pretty girl called you “darling,” and you didn’t stop looking at her? You certainly remembered the way to her heart, that was for sure. She did her best to push away the, well, other thoughts from her mind.
“Whatever’s hearty,” Karlach told the barmaid who looked none too happy to be talking to her. “And keep the drinks coming.”
“Put it on my tab,” you told the barmaid as she started walking off. She gave you a smile that quickly turned into a scowl when she looked at Karlach.
“The staff know you well,” Karlach said once she was certain you weren’t going to talk first. She supposed she couldn’t blame you.
Only a few weeks ago, you had probably thought she was dead.
“I spend a lot of coin here,” you said. “Talk flows like beer, for the right price.”
“And you’re looking for talk, are you?” She tried to sound flirty. Maybe it was foolish, but she wanted you to flirt back. Even for just one evening, she wished to act like nothing had ever happened.
“I’m looking for the bastards who ruined my life,” you said.
So, flirting wasn’t back in the picture just yet.
“Right,” Karlach said as she sat up straight in the chair. “I suppose that’s worth the coin.”
“And some,” you said softly.
Your left hand stayed resting on the table as you lifted your own tankard to your lips. Karlach cursed the wooden mug. It hid her view of your pretty lips from her. At least it forced her to look elsewhere. Like your hand. There were more scars than she remembered. Little ones ravaging your fingers. She wished she could have been there to kiss them better as they healed.
She wished you would let her kiss them better now.
You both smiled politely at the barmaid when she came around and set the food and wine on the table. The tavern continued to rage around you both as neither of you were willing to make the first move. Behind her, Karlach heard the start of a fight. She desperately wished to watch. Or join in.
“You should eat,” you finally said, gesturing your head toward the warm bread and stew. “Coming back from the dead must be exhausting.”
There it was. Karlach knew it would come up at some point, especially if she managed to get as close to you as she was in that moment. But knowing that it was coming didn’t make it hurt any less. To see the borderline betrayal in your eyes when you looked away quickly, focusing on anything but her.
She reached out to place her hand on top of yours in the best form of comfort she knew. You looked at her hand, and for a moment your face softened. For a moment, there was a small spark in your eyes again. Underneath hers, your hand turned around and pushed up, forcing both of your palms together. Karlach had always loved comparing hand sizes; it gave her an excuse to hold your hand.
The moment disappeared when you pulled your hand back and placed it in your lap.
“I wasn’t dead,” Karlach said softly. She hoped you couldn’t hear the hurt in her voice.
“Then where were you?” You asked, “Because you certainly weren’t here.”
There was no way to tell if you were actually tearing up, or if Karlach simply wished you were. She wanted you to have missed her. Not to hurt, but to miss her touch. To miss her smell, or waking up beside her, or even just being near her. She was desperate to know you had missed her as much as she had missed you.
She wanted you to have loved her that entire time.
“You ready for a long story?” She asked.
You nodded once, and the tale began.
Karlach knew, more often than not, that she rambled when telling stories. A lot of times she would even over-embellish to make the tale more exciting, or make herself seem more brave, more amazing than she really was. Sometimes her stories involved death, despair, and harrowing adventures that only the great Karlach could escape.
This was nothing of the sort. There were no grand theatrics or tales of grandeur. It was simply the truth. How she had been sold by someone she had trusted with her life. How she had fought a battle she wanted nothing to do with, and finally, by some miracle, managed to find a group of people that she genuinely cared about. And who cared about her in return.
You watched patiently. Gods, Karlach had missed your patience. Whether it was for something small, or large, or insignificant, it didn’t matter. When she would come to you, fuming about something that had happened, you had waited patiently for her to finish her rage before talking her through all those feelings. She missed having you to talk through her feelings with. Dealing with them on her own wasn’t as easy.
Although she almost laughed at how wide your eyes got when she talked about the whole tadpole thing.
“You all knew what was going on in each other’s minds?” You asked.
“Yup,” Karlach said, popping the “p” loudly. “Things got real interesting when the feelings started to come out.”
“No doubt you got a front row seat to some rather raunchy nights,” you said with a smile and the lightest laugh.
Oh Gods, Karlach could melt right on the spot just from that sight.
But the smile and laughter quickly died down, and you set your jaw once again.
“Gortash told me you never showed for duty that morning,” you said without any emotion. “Said it right to my face.”
So that’s what he had said. From the moment Karlach had gotten back to Baldur’s Gate, she had wondered what everyone had been told of her sudden disappearance. Had they been told that she had died on the job? That some mysterious warlock had taken control and kidnapped her? Surely he hadn’t told the truth that he had sold her for his shiny new toys.
She hadn’t expected something so… mundane.
“I would have never left without warning,” she said softly.
You chuckled humourlessly. “I knew that,” you said, “and so did your parents.” You let out a deep sigh. “But neither Gortash nor I could offer any proof one way or another.”
The noise of the tavern was more rowdy now that it was getting later into the evening. You were looking out into the crowd, and Karlach saw the strong set of your jaw. The twitch of your ear. She tried not to lose her cool when your tail brushed against hers. Keep yourself calm, Karlach, she told herself, you’re finally making progress. It didn’t help that your tail intertwined with hers and stayed that way.
“And you killed him?” You asked, finally looking back at her.
Angry you was a sight to behold. It got Karlach all hot and bothered.
“I did,” she said proudly. “Even put his head on a pike for shits and giggles.”
“Good,” you said with a nod. “He deserved worse.”
In all honesty, Karlach agreed with you. Gortash deserved worse than death. She wished she could have put him through everything she had been forced to go to. To have him fight a historical war, have him fear for his life every second of every day. Force him to live each day not knowing if the people you loved were safe.
But she didn’t want to be thinking about Gortash. Not that night. She wanted to be thinking of you. To sit with you, and enjoy being in your presence once again. It was a long shot, but she wanted to feel your hand in hers. There had been many years between your last meeting, she wanted to rediscover everything about you like it was the first time.
In short, Karlach wanted to fall in love with you all over again.
“Are you busy in a few nights?” Karlach asked.
Your head tilted to the side. It was adorable. “What?”
“Are you busy?” She asked again.
“I don’t- I don’t know,” you stammered. “Why?”
“Well,” she started, drawing the word out. “I know it’s been, ah, a little while.” She ignored the roll of your eyes. “I was wanting to go on a date.” You kept looking at her. “With you.” Silence. “We would go together.” A twinkle in your eye. “You can stop me at any point.”
Your stunning smile returned. A small smile, one that, in the past, had accompanied trouble. Gods, she loved you. She was willing to put in all the effort necessary to rekindle that romance, but she loved you. Every little bit of you. From the tip of your horns to your toes.
And she very much loved the way your fangs got caught on your lips.
But that smile fell again. Karlach wished she could have a painting of your smile so she could look at it whenever she pleased. You were far more serious this go around. The same air of triviality was gone, replaced with something Karlach wasn’t entirely sure she liked. Something had hurt you. It had hurt you deeply, and she didn’t quite know how to help.
“You don’t want a date with me,” you finally said.
“Oh, don’t say that,” Karlach tried to stop you. “I missed you every moment I was gone.”
“You missed someone who no longer exists,” you said. “That person died with their Oath.”
“You’re more than an Oath, lovely,” she said softly as she leaned forward on the table.
“You miss someone who laughed,” you continued. “Someone who had kindness in their heart and wanted to keep everyone safe.”
Karlach stayed silent.
You leaned forward on the table to match her posture. “I want to catch the bastards who ruined my life.”
“Then I’ll help you,” Karlach said. “If you haven’t noticed, I’ve got some extra muscle to use.”
You shook your head. “You’re not understanding.”
“Then explain it to me,” she said. “Because I spent over a decade away from you, and I’d like to try and get some of that time back.”
“I want to watch the bastards burn,” you said. “And I don’t care who burns with them.”
The very tone in your voice was enough to freeze Karlach to her core. That was an unusual feeling. It was uncomfortable. She wouldn’t dare change her mind, but she had the eerie feeling that you were right. You weren’t quite the same as the person she had fallen in love with in her younger years.
You finally reached out and placed your own hand over hers. Karlach exhaled deeply and looked down. You were touching her. You were all but holding her hand. And she had been right, you ran cooler than her now. It was a wonderful contrast, something that sent a shiver down her spine. Oh, she wanted to feel your hands all over her, holding her tight and never letting go.
“You have a big heart, Karlach,” you said softly. “And I never stopped loving you.” Karlach felt her engine stutter. “I will not taint the very thing I love about you.”
She watched, motionless, as you stood up from the table and walked over to her side. Without the hint of fur, you looked more like she had remembered. Soft, warm, utterly beautiful. And when your lips pressed against her cheek, she wanted to cry. It was one thing to imagine the feel of your lips again, but now that she had it? She would kill to keep it.
“Stay away, Karlach,” you said when you stood back up.
You carelessly dropped some gold on the table, gave her one last look, and left the tavern. Once again, you had disappeared on her. The tavern was full, more full than she had seen in months, and she felt alone. She had watched you walk away again and still couldn’t bring herself to follow you and beg you to stay.
It didn’t take long for Karlach to realise what you had meant when you said you didn’t care who you took down in your journey. At most, it was only a tenday later that she got wind of the explosion at an old abandoned church. The explosion had killed a dozen people, three of them children. Stories made their rounds around the city of a tiefling with scales and dark spells.
Karlach knew in her heart of hearts that it was you.
She tried to catch you in the act. Fuck, she tried for months to catch you. The whole gang had even come together to try and help, keeping their eyes out for any sign of you. The only one who managed to find out part of your intention. When you had mentioned the “bastards who ruined your life,” you were talking about the local pack of Werewolves. Which made sense, as far as she knew, they were the ones who had attacked when you were younger.
The only thing none of them could piece together was your methods. Sometimes they would find the remains of a Werewolf, other times they would find unrelated bodies. How had you managed to continue moving around the city when it was fairly well known that you were, at the very least, a suspect? Did you know, or did you simply not care?
Karlach didn’t know what to do. She knew you were good. She knew you. Broken Oath or not, you wouldn’t change completely. You wouldn’t ruin your life for revenge, that wasn’t in your nature. And even if it was, Karlach believed in you. Nothing could have pushed you that far.
Regardless, Gale and Shadowheart convinced her to have her axe coated in silver. Just in case.
“I think I know where your little killer will be,” Astarion said during their regular dinner at Karlach’s house.
“Where?” She asked quickly. “Are they okay?”
“I believe they’re fine,” he said nonchalantly. He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table. “Hells, word gets around the monster world. You should be asking if everyone else is fine.”
“Astarion,” Karlach warned.
“Alright, fine,” he sighed. “There’s a party in half a tenday,” he said. “A large portion of Were creatures are supposed to attend.” He picked something out from between his teeth. “Word underground is your little darling will be there.”
Karlach practically jumped into the seat across from Astarion. He didn’t even flinch; it was rather big of him. Sometimes, whether he intended to or not, he seemed a little wary of her sporadic movements. Maybe it was because he couldn’t predict them, or maybe she was just too loud. She didn’t know. But now, after so long together, he didn’t even budge.
She was so proud of him!
“How confident are you in your source?” She asked.
He laughed. “Darling, it’s not a source,” he said. “It’s coming from a friend.”
“Sorry,” she said softly. “I just want to help them,” she said. “Before they do something they regret.”
It was deeper than that. Hells, everyone knew it was deeper than that. Even Astarion, who made it a point not to see the deeper meanings of things, could see right through her as if she were glass. She didn’t just want to keep you from doing something stupid. She wanted to get back the life she had with you before everything went to shit.
She just wanted you back.
Astarion’s hand was cold on hers, and she looked up to see he had moved closer to offer a rare display of physical comfort.
“How about I do some digging myself, hmm?” He asked. “After all, I am rather charming.”
“Just don’t push them,” Karlach said with a smile. “I can’t guarantee how they feel about vampires.”
Astarion laughed. It was a nice sound. “Lucky for me, I’m simply a spawn.”
It was rather lucky for Astarion. It was only a few nights later that he came to see Karlach, out of breath and uncharacteristically shaky on his feet. You were very much not entirely okay with vampires, but you gave him a pass. He relayed your message - telling her to stay away, as if she would actually do that - and offered to join her at the party.
She quickly agreed it would be best.
Acknowledging that she might need help was a hard pill to swallow. There was no chance, no way in the Hells that she would have to do anything to stop you. She wasn’t foolish, but she knew her worth. If she could just get you to listen then it would be fine. You could both enjoy the party and then ride off into the sunset.
When the evening of the party came around, Karlach felt rather pretty. Her dress was gorgeous and it could hide a few weapons. Beside her, Astarion looked as handsome as always, and they both appeared at the party as if they had been personally invited.
Well, technically Astarion had been, but Karlach enjoyed feeling like she was sneaking in. It was more fun.
The party itself was swinging. All the energy in the air changed the moment Karlach and Astarion stepped into the underground hall. If she didn’t know any better, she would have sworn it was a ballroom in one of the above ground castles. Gods, she was in love with it. The architecture, the people, the energy. She wanted to grab Astarion and just dance the night away.
“Shall we?” Astarion asked as he held his hand out for Karlach to take.
“Oh fuck yes,” she said eagerly.
For the life of her, she couldn’t remember the last time she had had quite as much fun as that evening. Children were laughing, people were talking, the mood was light and airy. Hells, a few kids even asked her for a dance. Her! Could you believe it? She certainly couldn’t, and it was made even more hilarious when they asked Astarion next.
Karlach excused herself for a moment to grab something to drink. Dancing was exhausting, and she was parched. At that moment, she didn’t care if it was wine, beer, or simply water, she just needed a small break. A small drink, then she could get back to the party and have her fun. Gods, she wished you were there with her-
-oh.
In all the excitement, she had nearly forgotten why she was at the party in the first place. It wasn’t for a fun and exciting date night with Astarion, even though she would certainly take him up on the offer again in the future. She was there to keep people safe. To keep you safe.
More children laughed.
Oh boy.
If you were truly around, she needed to find you. She needed to get to you before anything happened, if anything even was going to happen. Her feet carried her around the giant hall, allowing her to look in every crook and cranny for anything potentially dangerous. The entirety of her heart hoped she was wrong and you weren’t there, you were simply upset.
Her mind wasn’t so convinced.
The hope was starting to take over when she approached the final few corners of the hall. There was nothing to be found. No bombs, no barrels, no nothing. Perhaps Astarion’s friend had been wrong and you weren’t there. Wouldn’t that be a miracle? It would give her more time to find you and perhaps talk a bit of sense into you-
“-I told you to stay away.”
Never mind, no time for miracles.
“You know I’m stubborn,” Karlach said as she turned around to look at you. Unlike her, you stayed dressed for business. “You always found it cute.”
“It stopped being cute a long time ago,” you said as you practically stormed off down a hall that Karlach hadn’t noticed.
She followed you instantly.
“Mind sharing your nefarious plan?” She asked once she finally caught up to you. Gods, you could move fast.
“Leave, Karlach,” you huffed.
“You know there’s children up there, right?” She continued.
You pulled up to a stop, and even though she was watching your back, she could see the heavy fall of your shoulders. What were you thinking? Surely you weren’t really going to risk all those people. They weren’t all guilty of whatever you accused them of. It wasn’t possible. This wasn’t you.
It couldn’t be.
“Take your spawn and leave,” you finally said. “I won’t tell you again.”
Karlach stayed frozen in place as you walked forward only a little more, stopping at what appeared to be a book. A… spell book? She didn’t think you had any interest in that subject. You certainly had never shown interest before. Why would you care now?
“What’s that?” She asked as you took a page out of the book.
You sighed and refused to look at her. “A Scroll of Cloudkill,” you answered.
“You can’t use that,” Karlach said.
Her engine froze over when you finally turned to look at her. Your eyes weren’t sad, not really. They were more… resigned. And maybe a little sad. But it was silly, you wouldn’t use that scroll on everyone. It would kill people, you knew that. And you weren’t one to kill people unnecessarily.
“I told you,” you said with a shake of your head. “I don’t care who burns with them.”
Karlach had a moment, only a moment, to make a move. If she stayed there, you would head into the party and kill everyone. She couldn’t do that. She couldn’t allow you to do it, no matter how much she loved you. Something you had always loved about her was her sense of right and wrong.
This was wrong.
She quickly stepped in between you and the hall where everyone was still laughing and enjoying their evening. You were both just far enough away that no one would hear. The look in your eyes changed as you looked at her. It broke her heart. She was determined not to move.
You crossed your arms over your chest and cocked your hip.
“I can’t let you do this, lovely,” Karlach said softly. “They’re innocent.”
“They’re as guilty as I am,” you said.
“Not the children.”
“Not yet.”
Karlach sighed. She had forgotten you were just as stubborn as she was.
“What happened?” She asked you. “What hurt you this badly?”
“Just move,” you said with a shake of your head.
“Not unless you tell me,” she argued.
Your jaw tensed. “I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Just tell me,” she said. “How bad can it be-”
“-I killed your parents.”
Oh.
It could be that bad.
“It was a full moon and I was distracted,” you said with a quivering bottom lip. “Your parents made the mistake of coming to help.”
No. That couldn’t be the truth.
“I slaughtered them,” you continued with a shaky voice. “Just the same as I slaughtered my own parents.” There was a fire in your eyes.
No, no, that wasn’t true. You had loved her parents. They had loved you. You all made up the happiest little family Karlach could have ever imagined. She had dreamed, night after night, of coming home to have everyone together again. Her family was what got her through all those years alone.
“If they-” you pointed toward the party “-hadn’t cursed me, they would all still be alive.”
Karlach couldn’t understand your words. Nothing was adding up. You had always taken precise precautions to keep yourself and everyone else safe during a full moon. She remembered helping you, ensuring the shackles were where they should be and were tight enough to keep you in place. You would have never done anything to risk anyone else.
“They took everything from me,” you said. “My Oath, my family, my freedom.” You exhaled harshly. “I want to watch them burn.”
You had sworn an Oath of Devotion.
They’re an Oathbreaker now.
You weren’t the same.
Karlach stood taller, reaching for the disguised silver sword she had managed to sneak in. She wasn’t the most comfortable with the type of weapon, very much wishing she had her axe, but it would do. Your eyes immediately went to the weapon in her hand, and your shoulders fell.
“I can’t let you kill them, love” she said.
For the first time in a long time, Karlach prayed. She prayed to any and every god that she could think of. Small and large, good and bad, she didn’t care. She just prayed. Prayed for you to come to your senses and come back to her. Come back to her because she loved you, and she couldn’t bear to see you so hurt.
If she looked close enough, she thought she could see a tear in your eyes.
“Fine,” you said softly. You reached over your shoulder and pulled your own sword out of its sheath. “You’ll burn with them.”
Neither one of you were willing to make the first move. Karlach was smart enough to know she didn’t have her weapon of choice, and hopefully you were smart enough to know she had the upper hand when it came to strength. You had never matched her in muscle, instead opting to be more agile. She remembered when you had spared for fun.
This tainted the memory.
You moved first. A heavy overhead chop. Karlach blocked it easily, and you stepped back. But it was enough of an opening, and she went in for it.
Neither of you had the upper hand. Even from the start, she knew you would be evenly matched in one way or another. Karlach had fought in Avernus, but you had the perks of a Werewolf and an Oathbreaker. And, as memory served, you played dirty.
She clenched her teeth when she knocked you back with a blow to the chest. She had simply used the pommel of the sword, refusing to use the blade. But you looked up and her and mumbled a few words, and Karlach felt something crawl up her legs. Roots. She was stuck.
You stood up and started walking over. “Stay.”
The engine in her chest raced. She couldn’t let you leave. Frantically, she looked around the small room, looking for anything she could use to either get herself loose or- aha! Karlach reached out and grabbed a chair. A quick prayer left her lips - both for you and herself - before she threw it.
The noise you made when the chair hit your back would have been comical if she hadn’t been trying to stop you from committing potential genocide.
The blow was enough to ruin your concentration, and the roots slithered back down Karlach’s legs, freeing her once again. You looked at her once, only once, before turning back toward the party. Now that was just fucking rude. You couldn’t even give her more than a glance after that?
She ran up behind you and, before you could fight back, wrapped her arms under yours and locked her fingers behind your head. You growled; a sound that normally would have gotten Karlach all hot and bothered. Pain radiated through her leg when you kicked out, hitting right above her knee.
Just for that, she pulled her arms higher, lifting you off the ground.
“Let me go,” you groaned between clenched teeth.
“Promise you’ll stop,” Karlach said into your ear. “Promise we’ll go home.”
For a moment, you stopped struggling, and Karlach let herself get hopeful that you agreed. She could get over all of this. She could forgive all of this. It was a simple fight, lots of couples had fights. Sure, it had been building up for over a decade so it was a little… nasty… but it was normal. You could both go home and work it out another way. A sexier way, even.
But her hopes were too high. Again. When Karlach had let her guard down, you kicked out again. Your boot connected with her hip, and instinct had her doubling over to protect the spot. It was all you needed to get out of her grasp and turn back around to face her.
The silver sword was right beside her foot. All she would have to do was grab it, and you wouldn’t be going anywhere. All she had to do was subdue you, and then you couldn’t fight back. You couldn’t get into the party, and you would listen. But she didn’t think she could do it. She couldn’t hurt you.
You turned away from her and, once again, slowly headed toward the party.
A groan left your mouth before the sword clashed to the floor again, quickly followed by the sound of your knees hitting the cobblestone. Blood flowed freely from the newly created wound on the back of your knee. It was a disgusting black colour, not typical of you at all.
Then again, nothing was typical of you anymore.
Karlach limped in front of you and picked up the sword once again. You clenched your teeth and looked up at her in shock. She had hurt you. No, she had made you bleed. She had used silver against you. It would take you months to heal from the wound, and that was assuming things went well.
The very thought made her chest ache.
“You were supposed to be the same when I got back,” Karlach said slowly. “Everything was different, but you were supposed to be the same.”
You stayed silent aside from the occasional groan.
“You know the pathetic part?” She asked. It was a rhetorical question. “If you agreed to go home with me right now, I would forgive everything.”
Something lightened in your eyes. She knew better than to hope for the better.
“I would forgive you for trying to kill children,” she continued. “All because I love you.”
You looked away.
“The thought of you got me through Avernus,” she said. Her hip ached. “The thought of you gets me through now.” She sighed. “Because they may have taken my physical heart, but you’re my real heart.”
“Karlach- hey!”
Pink ropes circled your body and constricted. You groaned when they tightened again. Karlach hadn’t done that. She didn’t even know any of those spells. Footsteps came up behind her, quickly giving way to Astarion; who just so happened to be holding a scroll.
“Stop spewing poetic,” Astarion said, “it’s beneath you.”
“Spawn,” you spat out.
“Mutt,” he shot back.
“Why are you here?” Karlach asked.
“Party’s over,” he said, “The Watch is coming.”
Oh Hells, there was just no room to breathe anymore, was there? She was trying to open her heart to you! She was trying to change your mind! They needed to butt out and let her grieve!
“We need to go,” Astarion said.
She looked down at you. The smallest trickle of blood was falling from your nose; no doubt from the constricting ropes that continued to tighten. If she left you, The Watch would catch you. It was clear everyone knew you were guilty of one thing or another. What wasn’t clear was if The Watch would rather protect you or the Underground.
Oh Hells.
“Come on, pup,” Karlach said as she grabbed you and threw you over her shoulder; much to your protest. “We’ve gotta go.”
“Must we take them?” Astarion asked.
“If we leave them, they’ll turn you in for scraps,” she said after she started walking down the hall.
“I’d turn him in for free,” you mumbled.
You grunted when the ropes constricted again.
“This scroll is glorious,” Astarion commented.
Oh Hells. Karlach was not looking forward to whatever was about to happen.
Well. In some roundabout way, at least she got you back. Some demented version of you, sure, but… Mum always had taught her beggars couldn’t be choosers.
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the mindset journey
So hi.
My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.
TLDR:
Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.
Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?
It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.
Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)
Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.
Revision is so powerful, use it.
It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.
And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33
I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.
The Initial Mindset:
I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.
The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.
When Everything Changed:
I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.
For example,
“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”
Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.
“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”
I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.
“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”
First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.
“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”
Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.
“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”
Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.
“Can I manifest-”
Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.
“But-but, what if-”
Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?
I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.
How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!
-cinna
#self concept#motivation#loa#law of assumption#manifestation#subconscious#success story#mine#mindset#neville goddard#manifesting#loassumption#law of manifestation
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There's something deeply touching about Jason knowing he'll never be the kid Bruce saved again, but still maintaining some quirks, mannerisms, habits, pieces of young Jason Todd. They're small but cut deep.
Jason, when he allows himself to stay at the manor as a tiny indulgence, still acts like there's a barrier of lasers protecting Alfred's cookie jar, just so he and Dick would have an excuse to compare leaps.
He's still waiting for the lights to fall asleep so he could visit the library and get angry at Tim, or Bruce, or both, twins in audacity, for dig earing the pages they knew he'd read.
Of course Bruce finds him because he always looks for him, ridiculously fluffy pink robe that Selina bought him sagging on him.
He ignores the ball of sadness exploding in his stomach as he realizes Bruce is the one looking up at him now. It feels like a robbery, premeditated and calculated, " Jaylad, you have to nap."
" Bruce, I am a grown ass man, you cannot fucking tell me to NAP--"
There's an unspoken type of authority that surrounds gentle parents. Is Bruce a gentle parent? Well. He doesn’t need to hit Jason to get what he wants, that's for sure, " Excuse me?"
"...Just one more page?"
Bruce is also very weak for them, thought. "..Fine. don't tell Alfred."
When Dick proudly shows off his patrol record for the week, all preppy and shiny besides Bruce at the kitchen table, Jason hears it all the way from the couch.
Damian is a very sore loser when it comes to Mario Kart, he learned, " Todd! TODD! Come back here and taste DEFEAT! FIGHT ME LIKE A WOMAN, COWARD!"
" So yeah, 40 arrests are pretty good, I'd say,--"
" 40? That's adorable, I got 70. On a broken leg."
Bruce, suddenly spooked, turns to him, " You had your leg broken on patrol?!"
" A broken leg? Awwww. Killer Crock almost bit my face off, but hey. Nice of you to try."
"Waylon bit you?!"
" At least I'm not a COP!"
" YOU'RE STILL A COP?!"
" I'm working on it, okay?!"
But the biggest thing? Jason's so unflinchingly clingy on Bruce; When they first meet this 'Justice League' Batman joined, Jason requested to be there. A robin caricature, but he doesn't trust any of them.
Aside from Diana. Diana's always the exceptions.
" This is Superman, " Bruce may think that little blush goes unnoticed, but it certainly doesn't. " And this is my ba-- This is Red Hood. I trust him with my life."
Don't cry don't cry don't cry Jason chants in his head.
Superman extends his hand and a honey sunshine smile, " Red Hood?! Oh, I've heard so much about you. We have to work together sometime. Share stories about this one here."
He heard about the guy's X Ray vision. He hopes that if he does take a peek, he sees the sinister pull of grin on his lips, all teeth and no niceness, " I'm more of a hugger."
" Oh. Uh... Sure. I love hugs."
Jason makes sure to whisper, " He doesn't kill but I do," before pulling away. Then he turns to Bruce, going from standing at his full height to relaxing a little bit,
" I want bat burgers on the way."
Bruce hums and signals for him to lean down to get his head petted. Jason does. Even if he's embarassed.
#bruce wayne#dc#batman#jason todd#text#text post#batfamily#batfam#justice league#protective jason todd#batdad#aaa i missed protective jason ooffff#writing#my writing#dick grayson#oh and you just know dick and jason get in the roughest brawls known to man. when they're down they're DOWN. nothing stops them#alfred yelling tim yelling damian yelling#but bruce walking in and rubbing his eyes and yawning after a rough patrol with a sleepy '' boys? are you fighting?'#makes them SNAP straight. '' what? NO.'' '' when have we ever fought i love him''#'' love you too :)'' as soon as Bruce nods and goes upstairs again with an unimpressed damian in his arms they go right back to it#'' PIG.'' '' ZOMBIE.''
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I missed your smile too
Alright everyone, come get your yummy bread crumbs!
Lucifer was pacing back and forth in his room full of rubber ducks. That fight with the hotel's busboy really got to him. What was his name again? Doesn't matter. He stops when he sees a duck that looks like Charlie. He picks it up, beginning to rant aloud.
"That busboy is insane! He really had the fucking nerve to call him your dad to my face! Me! Lucifer!The King of Hell! Your real dad! Your flesh and blood! Your kin! He can't possibly think he's a better dad than me!? No one in Hell is a better dad than me!" He paused, looking down at the Charlie duck. "Right?"
The duck of course didn't respond.
He lets out a pathetic sigh, holding the duck close and flopping on his bed. Who was he kidding? Anyone would be a better dad to Charlie than him. He was barely in her life! He doesn't know her favorite drink, her favorite color, anything! He didn't even know she had a girlfriend until today!
Lucifer rolled over, shoving his face into a pillow with a groan. He was the worst dad in the universe!
The sad little man looked up from his pity party when he heard a soft knock on the door. He quickly gets up, clumsy running around and fixing his appearance. "Uh- C-come in!" He answered once he looked mostly presentable.
Charlie opens the door, peaking around the messy room. She doesn't remember there being this many ducks.
Lucifer stared at her in complete shock. His daughter? Here? HIS DAUGHTER WAS HERE!!!
He coughs, trying to act cool. "Heeeey, Char-Char! What- what are you doing here? Couldn't get enough of your old man today, eh!" He rubs the back of his neck. What do you do in a situation like this? It's been years since Charlie came to visit him. Did she somehow know he was thinking about her?
Was the princess psychic this entire time!?
Charlie carefully steps into the room. "Hey, dad. Nice ducks?" She picks one up to examine. The ducky flipped in her hand before it suddenly started spitting fire. "AH!-" She yelps, dropping the duck and jumping away in fear.
Lucifer freaked out. "CHARLIE I'M SO SORRY THAT DUCK WAS A NEWER ONE I KNEW IT WAS STUPID PLEASE DON'T HATE ME-" He was cut off when Charlie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Deep breaths, dad. It's ok. I don't hate you. I never hated you." She helps him get his breathing normal as she leads him to the bed.
They sit down, Charlie taking her dad's hands in hers. "I just wanted to thank you for... Everything. I know we were... Distant- But today was a huge step forward!" His daughter smiles, and Lucifer had to hold back tears. "You're an amazing dad. I wouldn't want anyone else."
That did it. That broke the camel's back. He choked on a sob, pulling the sweet princess into a tight hug. His daughter really was psychic!!
Charlie hugged back just as hard. She didn't like seeing her father cry. A frown wasn't a good look on him. Like Alastor says: You're never fully dressed without a smile!
And she knew just the trick to bring his back.
Without any warning Charlie pulls back and tackles her dad.
"Oof! Wha- Charlie! What are- Oh no. Nononono!" His eyes widen with panic from the mischievous smirk on her face.
"Who's this Charlie you speak of? I'm.... The Tickle Monster! Rawrrr!" She broke character for a second to giggle. Lucifer used to use this trick on her when she was sad, so now she's returning the favor! She formed her hands into claws and wiggled them above his stomach. "I'm here to feast!" She growled in a deep funny voice.
Lucifer panicked more, but he also felt a mixture of silliness and pride. It's been a long long time since him and Charlie played together. He thought she wouldn't remember this game. His smile turned wobbly, deciding to play along. "Pl-please, Miss T-tickle Monster! Have m-hehehercy!" He was already starting to giggle.
Charlie broke character again to squee in pure happiness. She didn't actually expect him to go along with this! She clears her throat, putting back on her scary tickle monster persona. "Silence! My meals don't talk!" She dives in, attacking his belly with many scribbles and pokes. "They laugh!"
Luci squealed, bursting into high-pitched giggles. He grabs onto Charlie's wrists, but he made no move to push them away. "Chahaharlie! Ihihit tihihickles!"
Charlie couldn't help but to coo at her dad. "That's the point, ya goober! And that's Miss Tickle Monster to you!" She moved up higher to pinch at his ribs.
The King of Hell's giggles turned into full on laughter. He kicked his feet and squirmed, still not trying to get away.
"My, these ribs give off some tasty laughter! I must have more!" With each pinch she made a nomming noise like she was actually eating his laughter.
Lucifer flushed at the silliness of it all. He had to admit, this was making him feel better. It's been so long since he had a good laugh, and the anxiety from earlier melted away with each "nom."
Charlie stopped to give her father a quick break. "Mmm! Those ribs were delicious! Now I'm craving something for dessert!"
Lucifer froze. He knew what that meant. Still, he didn't want to ruin the fun. He pretended to be curious. In reality, he was preparing himself for what's to come. "What would that be, Miss Tickle Monster?"
"Raspberries!" The Princess leaned down, blowing a huge raspberry on Lucifer's tummy.
Luci went absolutely crazy with laughter! He even let out a few snorts! "OHOHOHO GOHOHOHODNEHEHESS!!" He shook his head, covering his blushy face.
Charlie was delighted by his reaction and laughed along with him. She blew a few more raspberries before deciding he had enough and falling onto the bed next to him. "You alright there, dad?"
"Ihih'm fihihine!" Despite still being giggly he felt great!
Soon enough, they were both taking a well deserved nap.
"That's good. I really did miss your smile too, dad." She hugs him, snuggling into his side.
#roman writes things#lee!lucifer#ler!charlie#hazbin hotel tickles#soft silly father daughter bonding#how many of my fics end with the characters falling alseep#not important😌
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Hii so like, no homo but u should totally write another safeword fic 🤭 like maybe yan!dabihawks teasing their partner like yk doin foreplay and it's going well but then they say something degrading so she safewords bc degradation makes her feel icky
Ly pooks 🫶
♡ Crybaby ♡
(A/N: I love safeword fics, they’re so comforting!! I’m not a degradation girl and so it was a strange to write this but the praise at the end made it okay lol!! I actually love this so much I even thought of making a part two to this. I really hope you like 💖💕 *also I made this mafia!dabihawks so I hope that’s ok)
Content Warning ⚠️: Yandere, MAFIA AU, NSFW, degradation, name calling, use of safeword, praise, aftercare, super sweet near the end 💞, not exactly proofread
Summary: You use the safeword(Yan!Dabi x Fem!reader x Yan!Hawks)
Masterlist ➸ ♡
Series Masterlist ➸ ♡
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
Keigo and Dabi didn’t often get frustrated with their work. But there was every once in a while were they would get incredibly frustrated. You could kind of tell that they were on edge tonight, they were a little rougher than normal but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t deal with.
Keigo had you say in his lap, his fingers pulling and tweaking your nipples. Dabi was infront of you, leaving bite marks across your thighs as his fingers rolled your clit to tease you. Neither of them had even gotten undressed, leaving you completly nude while they stayed clothed. Both of them wearing slacks, although Keigos button up was on the floor while Dabis was still on but half-way unbuttoned.
“You’re whimpering like a little slut” Keigo almost hisses in your ear. You uncomfortably squirm in his lap. “I-I’m not-” you whisper weakly, trying to deflect what Keigo had called you.
“You’re gonna’ say you’re not when you’re so wet?” Dabi asks, flicking your clit causing you to jump and let out a small squeal. “Mm, so dirty, aren’t you going to admit it? Say you’re a dirty slut?” Keigo says, earning a low chuckle from Dabi against your thigh.
“No..-” you whimper, Dabi cutting you off. “Lucky we caught you, you’re always begging for attention, who knows the men you would fuck if we weren’t around to watch” Dabi says, your eyes welling up with tears who you dreaded falling.
“Stop! Stop- Apple, apple…” you sniffle out the safeword, bringing your hands up to wipe you tears and hopefully conceal them. Both men immediately freeze up at you saying the safe word. They told you to say it and they would stop whatever they were doing to you but this was the first time you had ever used it.
“Hey, baby-” Keigo calls, rubbing your arm from behind in concern. “Don’t like it when you call me that” You cry softly, Dabi moving your hands out of the way to wipe your tears with his thumbs. “We’re sorry, pretty, it was just the heat of the moment” He says although it doesn’t calm your crying.
“Did you mean it? Do you think I beg for attention?” You cry, your tears and sobs stab through their hearts. “No, baby, I didn’t mean any of it” Dabi says, leaning closer to you to kiss away your tears. “No, you’re our sweet girl” Keigo whispers in your ear, gently petting your hair.
They really should have known better. You were their sensitive girl. Their sensitive girl who cried at a sad scene in a movie or an advertisement about a dog, or even scenarios you made up on your own head. They’d should’ve known calling you any names at all would’ve made you upset!
“You’re okay, birdy, wanna’ go take a bubble bath?” Keigo asks, you crawling off of his lap and onto the bed. You nod your head, Dabi lifting up your face to give you a small kiss before leaving to start the bath.
“You’re our sweet girl, you know that?” He asks, giving you a small peck on the forehead.
“We love you, you know that?”
You nod.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
Thank you for reading, darling!!
#yandere bnha#yandere dabihawks#yandere mafia au#yandere dabi#yandere dabi x reader#yandere!dabi#soft yandere dabi#yandere hawks#yandere hawks x reader#yandere keigo#yandere takami keigo#ns//fw
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would you be willing to do a sad nat one shot? sorry I just need to feel something 💀
Punishment
Natasha Romanoff x reader
Summary: you are dead (sorry) and nat has to live with that 😞 (most of this takes place inside of a dream hopefully it’s not too confusing)
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: death,, referenced torture
Author’s Note: sorry this is on the shorter side! tysm for requesting ☺️ i also use fanfiction to feel so hopefully it’s sad enough for you
It’s a nightmare, like always. You’re there, like always.
“Nat!” your voice rings out, light and sweet in the hazy morning light, and Natasha rolls over, burying her face in your side of the bed. It’s still warm. “Nat!”
“Five more minutes,” she grumbles back.
Your footsteps come to a stop next to the bed. “I made cinnamon rolls, you know.”
Natasha smiles to herself. It all feels so, so real. The sheets smell like your lotion, and the sun is pale through the curtains, just like it always is in winter. How it was the last winter you were with her.
You poke her shoulder. “Aren’t you supposed to be a superspy? Get up.”
“I’m off the clock,” she says, sitting up anyways. The glimmer in your eyes looks so real. Her lungs tighten at that, and she wraps her arms around your waist, hugging you tight.
You laugh and run your fingers through her hair. “Missed me that much, huh?”
She closes her eyes and sinks deeper into you, praying as hard as she ever has. Begging for just one more life with you. She remembers how to breathe again as you scratch her scalp gently and lean into her embrace, and she inhales you again.
After far too little time passes, you rest your hands on her shoulders. “Come on, baby. They’re gonna get cold.”
She lets you lead her out of the bedroom, hands intertwined. The apartment looks just how you left it. Because it’s so easy to, she slips back into routine. Like you’re there every day when she wakes up. She tugs open the blinds over the sink and waters the plants on the windowsill; you pour two cups of coffee. You sit down at the table together like it’s any old Saturday.
“What’s with you today?” you ask with a slight smile, immediately pulling a cinnamon roll from the pan.
“Me?” Natasha replies.
“No, the milkman.”
She grins, shaking her head. “Sorry. I don’t know, I’m just out of it.”
“Well, you’re not too out of it to talk crossword, right?”
God, she had forgotten about that. You’ve been on a crossword kick lately, though you heavily rely on Natasha’s knowledge bank of language and policy and science. Really, you mostly cover the pop culture clues. “Never.”
You spread the newspaper out between the both of you and drop a pencil in front of her. “I’ll start with down, you’ll start with across?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
You scribble down some answers, eyebrows furrowed.
Natasha stands up for a moment, just to get the cream, but when she turns back around she’s not in the kitchen anymore. She’s strapped to that chair, staring at you in that cell. Your eyes are bloodshot. The dreams always wind up here, no matter how innocently they start, and Natasha’s stomach churns.
“Nat,” you croak, and her heart shatters for the millionth time.
She thrashes against her restraints, but they must be made of fucking vibranium because they cut into her wrists without budging. She doesn’t have any tricks up her sleeve — she’s in her pajamas, for God’s sake. No widow’s bite or portable EMP. Not even a way to signal Clint.
“Nat, please,” you beg, your voice as raw as the bruises on your face.
“I’m going to-” she says, struggling against the restraints again. “I’m going to get you out.”
But of course, she can’t. She might as well be a bronze statue in that chair. They’re going to make her watch you die again.
She racks her brain for as long as she can, fights the excruciating dejá vu. Maybe something will be different this time. Maybe she can get someone’s attention, some lackey she can convince to let her out. She’ll murder them all, then. Murder them and take you home.
A vent catches her eye, in the corner of your cell. You don’t have much at your disposal, but there’s a food tray on the floor that might work. She has to say your name three times before you recognize it.
“What?” you ask suddenly, eyes wide.
“I need you to try something, okay?”
You’re weak. You’ve been there for days at the minimum, been under intense interrogation lights and an array of torture methods. Natasha was the one trained for that, not you. “I don’t know…”
“Please.”
You swallow iron-tinged spit.
“Can you break that in half?” Natasha whispers, flicking her eyes to the tray. She doesn’t remember if you’re under surveillance or not. She figures you must be.
Your hands shake as you reach for it. It must be tin, that’s how flimsy and light it is, but you know you don’t have the strength to break it by hand. That ship sailed about three gut punches ago. You’d vomited out everything but your will to live, though that was fading fast too.
“Use your legs,” Natasha hisses like she can read your mind. “Stick it under something, get leverage.”
The sight of you stumbling to the bunk sends fire up her throat. She’s going to burn them all alive.
You wedge the tray under one of the bunk’s legs and pull up on the other side before stepping down on it as hard as you can. All it does is fold in half.
“Fuck,” Natasha mutters. “Can you rip it? With your teeth or something?”
You’re pretty sure your teeth would fall out if you so much as bite an apple, so you drive the tray down on the sharpest edge you can find: the corner of the tiny sink. Later, Natasha will think about how strange it was that the cell had so many amenities. She’ll come up with triple the ways to escape. All too late.
The corner pierces it, and you claw at the hole until the tray is split in half. It slices your fingers in more places than you can count.
“Use it on the vent,” Natasha says. Despite herself, she feels an ember of hope in her chest. You’d never gotten this close before. She can barely watch as you balance on top of the sink, trying to shove the sharp little metal sheet into the seam between the vent and wall. It’s slippery with blood.
A door in the cell she hadn’t even noticed swings open. A man in black storms in. Before she can get a word out, he grabs you, throws you to the ground.
Natasha recoils, forcing her eyes back open as quickly as possible. He kicks you, over and over, and you cry for mercy.
Her restraints seem to tighten. They cut off her circulation, so that not even dislocating her wrists would let her save you. She’s absolutely helpless. You sob and curl into yourself, and she’s sure she’s never felt such anguish before. But she has, and she certainly will again.
Her eyes shoot open to dark ceiling. She’s in the living room, using the couch like a cot. She still hasn’t brought herself to touch the bed you made. She probably never will.
She drags herself to her feet and shuffles to the kitchen counter, turning on the electric kettle. Only chamomile helps her breathe now.
All those people she’d managed to kill. All those missions she’d executed to perfection, for the Red Room and HYDRA and Fury. All of the people caught in the crossfire of her tunnel vision. And yet, in the single most important moment of her life, she had failed. Failed.
She figures it could’ve been karma. A cosmic punishment for the arrogance of trying to wipe her slate clean. With that much sin to atone for, she shouldn’t be able to live happily. That’s what the universe seems to think, at least.
#angst#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff#marvel#mcu#natasha x reader#black widow#black widow x reader
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Scarlet Whispers - pt 2
Gif not mine
A/N: Not sure about the formatting, copy and paste didn't quite work out as planned. Title subject to change, not sure how I feel about it. This is my first published fic here so pls be gentle. Also I'm terrible at summaries.
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader
Trigger warnings (let me know if I forgot to tag anything): Mentions of past child abuse, ongoing adult child abuse, stalking, horror, dubcon, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, angst, smut. There will be bits of fluff tho.
Rating: M. Minors DNI
Master list here
You miss your stop.
Not only do you miss your stop, but you end up all the way at the bus depot before the driver notices you passed out in one of the seats. The driver, a kindly older gentleman, offers to give you a lift home since it is the end of his shift anyway. He takes pity on you, perhaps due to your tired and sad appearance. Interestingly, no one seems to notice the red wisps behind his eyes.
You appreciate his kindness, but you are anxious about returning home. A quick look at your phone reveals that it is well past 6 PM and you have missed multiple calls and texts from both of your parents. This is not going to end well. In simple terms, you are fucked. Fortunately, the man doesn't seem to notice your restlessness as your leg bounces nervously as he gets closer to your home.
As you exit the vehicle, you politely thank him and offer to pay for the gas, but the man refuses. His accent changes slightly as he says, "anything to help." You shrug it off, as it is not your concern where people are from. Your focus is on more pressing matters. After closing the door, you square your shoulders and mentally prepare for the absolute shit show awaiting you as soon as you step through the front door.
It shouldn’t surprise you that your father’s booming voice is the first to be heard. “Where were you?”
You start with the truth. “Dad I’m sorry, I was on the bus after my exam, I fell asleep with my headphones-”
”I don’t want your excuses! While you live here under our roof, you will show us some respect, you will follow our rules! You had chores to do today, why didn’t you do them?”
A bead of sweat trails down the back of your neck. You hate being interrupted, and you hate being asked questions when they clearly don’t want the answers. Besides, you are in your twenties, not a child. “As I was saying, I-”
This time your mother interrupts. “Don’t speak to your father like that. He asked you a question, we expect you to answer it!.”
You grit your teeth. “I fell asleep on the bus, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Always with the excuses this one.” Your father laments. “Do you think your future employer is going to care about any of that? No. He’s just going to want to know why you weren’t there.”
It takes every ounce of your sanity to not snap that your answer is the reason WHY you weren’t there, and not simply an excuse. Instead you hold your tongue. They aren’t here to listen, they don’t care. They just want to yell at you, and for you to be sorry.
“I tell you, with behavior like that it’s any wonder at all you’d even be able to keep a job. They would probably fire you on the spot, and then you would be right back on our doorstep, our problem once again to pick up the pieces.”
It’s all hypothetical of course - you’ve never been late to any of your classes, but you have not yet had a job, you weren’t allowed to. You are sure you wouldn’t be late to it though if you were to treat it like your classes. You know you can’t tell your parents this however. Might as well bite the bullet and get it over with.
“Yes Dad, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Saying sorry simply doesn't cut it! Sorry doesn’t fix the problem that you caused, so tell me, how are you going to make the problem right?” he demands. A vein throbs in his forehead. Absently you think about how he knows he should watch his blood pressure, but that would require him to watch his temper. Y/D/N could never.
You know what he is looking for, he wants you to do your chores now, but it’s after 8PM and your exam is at 8AM. If you do your chores now, that leaves you little time for last minute studying, eating, bathing, sleeping, and then catching the bus back to the university. Helplessly, you look to your mother for help.
“Don’t look at me, this is your mess you’ve created. If you had just done what you were supposed to, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. If you had just been good, you could be doing whatever it is you do with your free time right now.”
It had always annoyed you greatly that your parents were unaware of your academic achievements. While it's true that you didn't have the best grades as a child, once you entered university and chose a major, you became a straight-A student, even going so far as to make the President’s list the last three years in a row. However, in their eyes, you would always be the little underachiever they had to take care of.
Tears well up in your eyes. This situation wasn't fair. It was an accident. You had fully intended to come home and do your chores, but you couldn’t have known you would sleep through your alarm on the bus. You had been so incredibly exhausted that you experienced a vivid nightmare whilst awake. You were aware that you needed more sleep, but your degree was your only way out of this miserable place. You couldn't risk losing it all just because you missed a few hours of sleep now and then.
“Please?” You beg. You didn’t have anything else to argue in your defense. “I’ll leave my headphones in my bag this time, I’ll set multiple alarms, I won’t sleep, just please let me go study!”
Your parents look at each other, having silent communication. Seeming to come to an agreement, your mother speaks first. “Y/N we’re sorry it has to be this way, but you have already proven on multiple occasions that we can’t trust you to do the right thing. Tonight, you are going to do your chores even if it takes you all night to do it. Besides, we all know you’re not studying up there. For all we know you’re just up there masturbating in the window or something.”
Being stabbed in the chest would have been less painful. You don't understand why you're caught off guard; it's not like your mother hasn't said off the wall shit like this in the past. It's almost as if she thrives on finding the most hurtful and outrageous statements to throw in your face, as if you deserved them. As if you had ever done any of the things she accused you of. Like you were some sort of deviant, when all you wanted was simply the right to exist.
“What the actual fuck, Mom?!” you scream, having finally had enough. Both of your parents look taken aback. Rare is it for you to raise your voice at them, even more so to curse at them. “I know you’ve been pretty checked out of my life for a while now, but I’ve had a 4.0 GPA for the last three years. I don’t know where you got that… comment… from, but I can assure you that all I want to do is go to my room and study.”
“Now listen here young lady,” begins your father.
"No, YOU listen, Father," your voice dripping with sarcasm. “You were right about one thing, and that is I am a gods damned adult. I take my studies seriously, and while it may come as a surprise to you since neither of you have paid any actual attention to my life since I turned 18, though it could be argued you really stopped paying attention earlier except for when I was being an inconvenience, but I am actually a great student. This is my last semester before graduating with honors and again, a 4.0 GPA, and I will have my choice of job opportunities. I will leave this place, and you miserable old bats will have no one to be your punching bag anymore. Then maybe just maybe you can finally take a look at the flaws and fix what's wrong with your own marriage, instead of trying to break ME!”
Your chest heaved. It felt good to speak your truth, but as the silence grew, you began to realize that you might have made a mistake.
Your father has finally gotten out of his chair, looming over you. A resounding slap echoes across the room as your father backhanded you, knocking you to the floor. “You ungrateful, miserable little bitch! I don’t know what lies those ‘professors’ at the university have been filling your head with, but you have no future, and you are lucky your mother and I care enough to let you live under our roof! And so long as you do, you will obey our rules, and show us the respect we deserve!”
Fearful, you scramble back to the wall and attempt to push yourself to your feet. “If that’s the price of living here, then I will happily live in the University’s library. One week, that’s all I need!” You step forward to make your escape from this house, but this time your mother shoves you, and once again you find yourself on your knees.
You raise your hands in self-defense, but your mother sneers, "Do it, Y/N, hit me, and you'll be out on your ass faster than you can blink!" Crying, you lower your hands and prepare to allow her to strike you.
The lights went out all at once, and everyone froze. Has the power gone out? It couldn’t have, you could still hear the hum of the AC unit. So what was wrong with the lights?
The lights turn back on as suddenly as they had gone out, and all three of you look around in confusion. However, despite the lights returning, the room appears darker, creating an almost eerie atmosphere. The shadows cast a looming presence over all of you, sending a shiver up your spine. Your home, which you have lived in for around twenty ish years, suddenly feels foreboding, and you wonder if it's too late to flee. It almost resembles one of the nightmares you have been experiencing recently.
Red mist fills the room, a dreadfully sinister voice speaks. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
All three of you turn to the source of the sound - the corner of the room, as a red and black leather-clad boot, attached to black leather pants, steps through a portal and into the room. The Scarlet Witch follows, radiating her full glory. She warns, "If you wish to keep your body parts intact, you will never lay a finger on Y/N ever again."
You’re pretty sure your eyebrows have never been closer to meeting your hairline before and yet here we are. You don’t know who this unfamiliar lady is, nor how she seems to know you but God damned if that outfit doesn’t look as if it has been painted onto her. You blush at your sinful thoughts. Now is not the time, and you’re pretty sure you’re having a stroke of some sort. If nothing else, however, you are grateful for the reprieve from your beating.
Meanwhile, your parents had never taken well to being told what to do, by anyone, they certainly weren’t going to now by this costumed stranger. Your mother bristles. “Who is this Y/N? Another one of your little whores?” Completely disregarding the fact that you have never in fact had a partner in your entire life, and you don’t know whether to be pleased that she seems to think you’re capable of having a sex life or affronted that she thinks you’re some type of floozy. Your mother’s words, not yours.
“What? No, I-” You look helplessly from the floor between your parents and this woman you now recognize as the one from your visions, and the same one from your hallucination this morning. Is she here to help, or to hurt you? She has been your savior and aggressor in both; there’s no telling which she has chosen for now. Glancing between them, you are unsure how to de-escalate this situation. There is no way to convince your parents, for their own safety, that this woman is powerful and not to be trifled with. Nothing you could say, they would believe, and you were pretty sure this woman would kill your parents without a second thought if they didn’t tread carefully.
Seeming to sense your struggle, the woman speaks up in your stead. “As I’ve said, you would do well to keep your hands to yourself. I am here to take Y/N with me, and you will not stand in my way. This is your only warning, which I am giving to you out of consideration for Y/N.”
She reaches down for your hand to help you back up. Hesitantly, you take it, ignoring the shock that runs throughout your body, and begin questioning your entire reality. Take you with her? Who even is she? Where exactly is she going to be taking you? You had questions, and you would like some answers, but if you didn’t get your parents to stand down, you were pretty sure she would follow through on her threat. Sure, your parents were trash, but they were all you had. You loved them, and you were certain that, in their own warped way, they loved you, too.
She helps you up and proceeds to give you a thorough once-over, carefully inspecting your injuries. Her intense scrutiny makes you blush. Meanwhile, your parents remain silent, their thinly veiled anger evident as they observe your interaction. How dare this woman speak to them in such a manner? Thankfully, they wisely choose to keep quiet. Perhaps they also sense the dangerous aura emanating from this woman, perceiving her as a true threat. Then again, it could be due to the fact that she just stepped through a literal portal conjured out of thin air moments ago. Maybe they had been paying attention, but even you are unsure of what is real anymore.
Still holding your hand, the Scarlet Witch leads you back towards the portal she arrived through. "Come, Y/N, we have much to discuss." At this point, all you could do was helplessly trail after, hoping you weren't going from bad to worse. At least by leaving, your parents would be out of danger. As for yourself, well... It was clear that the Scarlet Witch wanted something from you. Hopefully, whatever that was would be sufficient to ensure your survival. Perhaps even enough to negotiate with.
At the last possible moment, your mother chooses, whether out of genuine love and concern for your well-being, or fear at the loss of her control over you, to reach out to take you from this bizarre woman. “Mother, no!”
Y/M/N finds herself promptly flung onto the wall behind her, and stuck there, unable to move. You aren’t sure who exactly screamed but you’re pretty sure it was every member of your family. The Scarlet Witch hadn’t even turned to look, the only indication she had even been involved is the raised hand, opposite the one holding yours, with dark, ink-stained fingertips, bent at slightly odd angles.
“Stop, please! Let her go, she won’t do it again, please! I'm sorry, please!”
Unsure of why you are begging for this woman’s life when she has spent the entirety of yours making sure you were miserable. Still, your heart lurched at the thought of anything happening to your mother. You didn’t like her, and if you never saw her again, that was probably for the best, but you certainly didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.
The Witch took a deep breath, seemingly to calm herself, before turning to face you.
In the softest voice you had ever heard she whispers “Detka, I-.” She opens and closes her mouth a few times, deciding what to say. To your absolute mortification and delight, she leans down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, and promises “I will let them live, but I must say my piece.”
You nod, completely dumbstruck at everything happening in this moment. What. The. Fuck.
Y/M/N, still pinned to the wall, whimpers and struggles to move but is clearly unable to. The Scarlet Witch turns from you to face your parents. Another wave of her hand, and your mother slumps to the floor, alarmed, but otherwise unharmed. It is clear whatever the witch did, both she and your father are now restrained.
Footsteps approach the pair, and the lights in the house flickered ominously. Despite your mother being nearly 40 years older than her (or so you assumed, as you had no idea of this woman's age), the power emanating from her exuded confident malevolence. She showed no fear towards them, and for once, although ashamed to admit it, you were glad to see that they were afraid of someone else.
Though she was only about 5'6", the woman knelt before your parents, her voice filled with menacing intent. "I know everything you have ever done, everything you ever could do, and everything you ever will do. I know what you are guilty of. I know what you deserve, and I can assure you that it is not mercy. I will spare your lives and leave you unharmed due to the kindness of your daughter, the daughter you’ve abused for decades." As her head tilts, you can't help but feel that she becomes even more dangerous. "But if you ever try to take her from me again, I will seek retribution on her behalf, and I promise you it will be the most excruciating agony you have ever experienced. Do we understand each other?"
You squirm uncomfortably. This should not be doing things to you, but then again, no one had ever stood up for you. Ever. Gods you needed therapy. It’s fine. Little boxes, and this was for a little box for later.
The witch stood up and once again took your hand, leading you through the portal and leaving your parents behind. Perhaps for good, you weren’t entirely sure, and you suddenly realized you didn’t care. Anywhere was better than here; even if this woman was dangerous, at least for the moment, she seemed to care about you, and that was enough for you to follow her to the ends of the earth.
Again, therapy…
The pair arrive at a massive stone temple, which you would later learn is called Mount Wundagore, the Scarlet Witch's temple. It is built into a massive, rugged mountain with steep cliffs, situated above dense forests and enveloped in mist. The mountain exudes an air of mystique and possesses an eerie atmosphere. Scattered across its walls are depictions of the woman in front of you, accompanied by various runes whose significance you suppose hint at a potentially supernatural importance.
The Scarlet Witch does not make much of an effort for introductions, nor explanations, simply heads towards the entrance to her temple.
“What is this place?” you ask, hints of awe and fear in your voice
“Our home.”
Your brain stutters. “I’m sorry, what now?”
“Detka, do not pretend you did not hear me, I don’t enjoy repeating myself. This is our home.” Her accent sounds vaguely Eastern European, and becomes more pronounced the more irritated she is. You wonder when she started trying to hide it.
Your mind balks at the idea of this being your new home, it couldn’t be less foreboding. “Uhhh… this.. is a giant stone temple in BFE nowhere, with ice, snow, and-”
Movement startles you out of your reverie. Beings made entirely out of stone shift from foot to foot, as if adjusting their stance. Their eyes have the same red glow as the woman who leads you now.
“Are those rock trolls??” The stone guardians loom threatening, but make no move to engage, they await their Queen’s orders. “Right. Rock trolls. Why is this our home? WHERE is our home? And,” you spin, taking the aesthetic of the temple in, trying not to have an anxiety attack. “What do you mean -our- home? Who are you, and what do you want with me?”
You can’t tell if the faint twitch of the other woman’s lips is in amusement or annoyance at your ramblings, but in your defense, she had let you speak uninterrupted. You were known for getting entire paragraphs out if left unsupervised - it was a talent and a curse. Personally you felt she should be grateful you weren’t jumping down her throat, you didn’t know anyone else who would be taking this half as calmly as you were. Then again, you were still waiting on your Hogwarts acceptance letter at 25.
“My name is..” she hesitated. “Wanda. I am.. I was an Avenger.”
You looked on blankly, hoping she would elaborate. The fuck was an “Avenger”?
"In my universe," (you filed away the fact that she implied the existence of a multiverse for later, as it was a problem for another time) "the Avengers are superheroes. Well, that's what we called ourselves - Earth's Mightiest Heroes. A bit arrogant, if you ask me. We dealt with threats that the military and ordinary people couldn't handle. We were the last line of defense. We saved the world countless times, but at a great cost of lives. We were vain, thinking we were above it all because we believed we were acting for the greater good. But try explaining that to those who were lost as collateral damage.
I digress. We.. were considered to be heroes. There were several of us, we were a team. A family. We lived together, fought together. Died together. Until we didn’t.”
Wanda explains the dynamics of the Avengers team, including how she and her brother Pietro joined. She mentions Pietro's death in the battle against Ultron, as well as the events leading up to and the battle against Thanos. She also covers the events of the “Blip”, and what happened afterward. However, she conveniently chooses to omit the events of Westview, as she didn't want you to know about that just yet.
“That’s.. wow. Wanda, that's a lot. Honestly, if I hadn’t seen your powers myself, I wouldn’t believe you. But all of that still doesn’t explain why you’re here. You mentioned your universe as being so fantastical, why would you come here? And what do you want with me? If you’re a hero, why are you here in what totally looks like a villain’s lair and not with your other superhero buddies?” You neglect to mention the unease creeping up your spine.
This is fine. Everything is fine. Right? Right.
A look of utter despair crosses the witches face as she locks eyes with you before glancing away.
“I mentioned my team before, but I didn’t mention you.”
“…” You slow blink. This was not how you thought your day was going to go, and honestly, you were already getting a bit of a headache. Could she be less cryptic because that would be great. More details, fewer questions. Maybe another nap.
"Y/N, where I am from, you were also an Avenger. You had joined the team before Pietro and I, and were one of the few who made us feel welcome. Despite the fact that we had previously been enemies, you didn't treat us as ticking time bombs. Instead, you welcomed us with open arms. Your go-to tactics were kindness and understanding, which made it hard not to want to get to know you. When Pietro died, you were the only one who checked on me and cared. You taught me that grief is just love persevering. You became my closest friend, and over time, I couldn't help when those feelings began growing into something more.”
You swallow uncomfortably. It sounds like Wanda is telling you that in this other universe you both were an item. It’s not that you wouldn’t be honored to be with such an attractive woman, but it feels weird knowing that that was a different version of you. Someone with superpowers, someone likely more confident by the sounds of it. This feels almost as if you are intruding on something you shouldn’t, yet Wanda is the one telling you this; if it weren’t okay for you to know, she surely wouldn’t be sharing. You don’t really know what to make of this; if she has feelings for this other you, why is she here with this version of you?
“In the battle against Thanos, we learned that the source of your powers was an infinity stone embedded in your skull courtesy of H.Y.D.R.A. experiments, which altered your genetic DNA. Thanos had also learned you possessed this Mind Stone and sought to take it from you by force.”
Anguish on her features, the witch turns to you. “You were going to die, Y/N. We tried, I tried, so hard to protect you, to keep you away from him but at every turn he found you. If he had gotten the Mind Stone, he would have been able to enact his plan to rid the universe of half of all life. You told me.” She hiccups.
“Y-you told me it was okay, that you forgive me. That I needed to.. that I needed to destroy the stone to save the universe. I didn’t want to. I would have given anything else but that. But you held my hand and told me you forgave me, that you only felt me. Then Thanos came, and we were out of time. I was the only one with the power to do it because its magic was so similar to my own. I placed my hand to your head and I-.” She is unable to continue, breaking off into sobs.
Oh. So she had to sacrifice you to save the universe. Well. You agree with the alternate you, you didn’t blame her, and you would definitely forgive her. Awkwardly you try to find some way to comfort her. While obviously you were not the same person she had loved and lost, and you knew from your own experiences with loss that sometimes words just couldn’t cut it. Instead, you shuffle forward, making sure you were heard in case she wanted to refuse you, and pullher in for a hug.
Wanda tenses in your embrace, as if she can’t decide if she wants to sink into it or send you flying. “The worst part,” she continues, “was that it meant nothing.”
If you were a dog your head tilt might have been cute.
“In the end, Thanos was still able to get the Mind Stone, and you were still dead, by MY hand, and it all meant NOTHING!” Wanda wrenches herself from your grasp, looking positively unhinged. You probably should have been scared. You weren’t. Her wrath did… things… to you. Therapy…
“All because Strange saw supposedly every possible future and CHOSE to let you die to save everyone else. As if there was no other possible outcome!”
Oh, that... that makes more sense. The other you was still dead, and Wanda was definitely suffering from PTSD from her involvement in it. Her little stunt with your parents was probably her way of trying to save you or bring you back to life. But in your universe, there weren't any superheroes, magic, or Thanos to protect you from (that you were aware of at any rate). So what was Wanda doing? This wouldn't bring her version of you back to life. You may have looked and sounded alike, and you might have made similar decisions, but you simply weren't the same person. The lack of the same life experiences meant that you had different personalities, despite having a similar genetic build.
“So we saved the world, and I left to live in exile. After the funeral, Clint handed me your belongings, and in them was a letter. A deed to a plot of land you had purchased in our names where we were going to build a house. I think it was supposed to be a surprise after we defeated Thanos. We had never lost before, not since Pietro - I don’t think it occurred to us that we could. So I drove out to see and.. Y/N I was still so new to my powers. They were still mostly subconscious. I was grieving and... it would be easier if I show you. May I?”
“May you.. what?”
A subtle smile appears on the witches' face at your ignorance. You are tempted to mention how beautiful she looks with that smile. Shaking off the thought, you ponder if she can read your mind, as her smile becomes knowing and a slight blush colors her cheeks. Ink-stained fingers reach towards your temple, but she hesitates, waiting for your consent, and your heart fills with warmth. You nod once, despite not really understanding.
Her charcoal-colored fingers, cold to the touch, make contact with your temple. Just as you're about to complain about the lack of warning, you're abruptly transported into a completely different world, surpassing the immersive experience of any 3D movie you've ever seen. You not only hear and see everything in every direction, but you can also feel and smell it all. It feels as if you are truly present in that moment. It takes a few minutes for you to realize that you are witnessing someone else's memories, to be precise, Wanda's memories.
She starts her memory with the unexploded bomb created by Tony Stark, which sat in the middle of the rubble of the Maximoff residence. In that chaotic scene, there were two children, the twins, hiding in fear under a bed. However, before you could offer any comfort, the scene shifted. The twins had been taken to HYDRA, where they were subjected to brutal experiments. Witnessing their suffering broke your heart, and despite your best efforts, you were unable to interact with your surroundings, although you desperately tried. Repeatedly you threw yourself against the walls of the cells in which the twins were held, hoping to free them from their hellish situation. You observed the twins' powers first emergence: Pietro's as he attempted to reach his sister's side, and Wanda's as she tried to defend Pietro from the scientists.
Scene after scene, each one as traumatic, if not more so, than the last, depicting all the events from Ultron and beyond. And then there's you. Except, it's not really you. You've certainly never possessed the power of teleportation, nor have you ever been so self-assured. This must be Wanda's universe's version of you. With bright eyes and a warm demeanor, you appear as a beacon of light in Wanda's otherwise bleak life. You observe as the version of you in this universe warmly welcomes the twins to the team, a stark contrast as to how the rest of the team treats the newcomers ranging from suspicious to openly hostile.
It’s surreal, watching yourself from outside your own body, knowing this version isn’t really you, but still no less real of a person. Wanda’s memories begin focusing less on missions and more on interpersonal relationships. Specifically, the one developing between yourself and Wanda. It’s intimate and you feel like an intruder watching this unfold. Sadly, as you grow closer, Wanda loses the only other connection she has - Pietro is hit by stray bullets while saving children. A true hero, and there was nothing anyone on the team could do to prevent it. You watch in horror both for the loss of Pietro as a friend, as well as knowing the absolute devastation this will cause your beloved Witch.
You can tell at this point that that’s what she was to you. It hasn't been long, but that bond has clearly already been sealed; you can see the signs in both your alternate self and Wanda. You would have to be blind not to. The loss of her brother does terrible things to Wanda and it’s all your other self can do to try to keep her afloat. “What is grief but love persevering?”
The scene shifts again. Time has clearly passed, and Wanda appears to have healed to some extent. She and the team have become much more cohesive, which delights both versions of you. Your relationship has definitely progressed, if the blush currently gracing your face, extending to your ears, is any indication. You feel the remnants of the emotions from your alternate self. They are not yours, but neither are they entirely unfamiliar. It makes for a disconcerting sensation to say the least. You don’t know Wanda like that, even though this version of you does. You wish you could view these memories dispassionately, free from your alternate self’s emotions that are bleeding through, but you suspect that’s not possible. Once again you try to reassure yourself that you are not the same person, no matter the genetic makeup.
Jarring you from your reverie, next you find yourself in another battle, and this one is massive. There are more superheroes here than you have ever seen before, either in Wanda's memories or in films. This must be the fight against Thanos she had told you about. Dread settles in your stomach like a stone, and for a moment, you contemplate what it will be like to witness your own death.
Traumatizing, for sure, though not for the reasons you had expected. While you are unable to interact with your environment, you are able to freely move about. Instead of looking at the memory entirely from Wanda’s perspective, you move to stand beside yourself. Wanda stands before you, ethereal, magnificent, yet utterly devastated. She knows what she has to do and pleads with you not to make her. It is unjust for a woman so powerful to suffer such loss, and still you implore her to sacrifice your life, her happiness, for the sake of the rest of the universe. It is unfair. It is cruel. You know it, but you ask anyway.
She never could tell you “no.”
You know the moment this universe's version of you had died when you witness the sheer devastation on Wanda's face. Most people would probably look away, but you couldn't. For some unknown reason, you feel compelled to witness this moment in all its horrifying detail, if only to gain a true understanding of the witch and the immense pain she has endured. There were surely few things more intimate than allowing someone to share their own memories, and here Wanda was, granting you unrestricted access to hers. The least you could do was accept this gift she was offering, no matter how painful it might be.
The images that follow blur together, evoking your personal experiences with grief and a sense of detachment from the world. The funeral is somber, one and all everyone dressed in black and grey. Wanda is present only in body, and you can’t blame her. Clint, the archer, hands her your belongings, including the letter she had mentioned. It unnerves you how detached Wanda appears to be at this moment, despite being surrounded by friends and colleagues. You worry about what lies ahead for her. So much loss in such a short time, it didn’t take a psychiatrist to know this would surely take a toll on her. You prayed that her friends came to check on her, but you had a feeling either they didn’t, or in her grief, she refused them entry.
Colors blend into one another and fade out. You find yourself standing on a plot of land in a town called Eastview, crouching next to Wanda as she collapses to her knees. Her body is wracked with anguished sobs as she finally allows herself to grieve. You wish you could interact with this memory, to hold her and alleviate some of her pain, even if only for a moment. Instead, you sit with her, sharing in her pain as she releases it all into the world. Wanda allows herself to experience her grief in its entirety, no longer burying her feelings beneath a veneer of numbness. Colors leech from the world around her, turning it greyscale. You're pretty certain that even at their strongest, the average person's manifestation of grief isn't supposed to do that, but then again, the average person isn't the Scarlet Witch. Briefly, you wonder what consequences this will have on her world. Your head feels fuzzy, and as your vision fades to black, you suppose you are about to find out.
You regain consciousness and find yourself in a world entirely devoid of color. Disoriented, you blink as the details of your surroundings slowly come into focus. In front of you stands... well... yourself. Or rather, an alternate version of you who appears to be from the 1950s, slightly older but still alive. Seated beside 1950’s you is Wanda, also monochrome and dressed in 1950s attire. Blearily, you rub your eyes. It has been a long day, and you are extremely tired, unsure if this is just an incredibly vivid hallucination or if you have actually passed out somewhere.
Alternate you asks Wanda a question, to which you aren’t listening, and she replies with a quip - you still aren’t listening, wondering where you are and why everything is in greyscale. What catches you off-guard though, is the surround sound laugh track that‘s garnered in response. It’s galling to admit but you jump, startled, and look around. There’s no one else in the house besides yourself, the alternate version of you, and Wanda. Where did that come from?
Alternate you replies to Wanda, and again with the laugh track. This time you are not as startled, but no less unsettled. What fresh hell is this? Could this be Wanda’s doing? It doesn’t seem like you can ask her though, as you’re just a passive observer in this strange situation. The last thing you remember, Wanda was grieving in Eastview at the plot of land which alternate you had purchased to start your life together after retiring from being superheroes. Strange grey wiggly woos (as you were starting to refer to her magic) were emanating from the witch, quite different from the familiar scarlet color you had grown accustomed to.
Perhaps this was her doing, if only subconsciously. You tried to recall, didn’t Wanda mention something about her powers being new to her and mostly unintentional? This could be what she had been referring to. Apprehension made a home in your chest as you found yourself dreading whatever was about to unfold before you. Oh no, Wanda, what did you do?
It doesn’t take long after observing the hijinks and mishaps, for you to realize that Wanda's grief had manifested through her powers. She had transformed the town of Eastview into Westview, resembling a 1950s-style sitcom town. Wanda, along with an alternate version of yourself (if you were truly still alive - that part you hadn't figured out yet), and the entire town were trapped. While it may have started unintentionally, Wanda became aware of it and began actively using her powers to maintain her idyllic town, keeping it isolated from the outside world and preventing the townspeople from leaving. In her grief, Wanda was essentially playing house, holding everyone hostage. However, despite her powers growing stronger, it was clear that the people living there were suffering. If you could even consider their existence as living.
There were even two boys - twins, just like Wanda was a twin. Your heart broke, knowing this could not possibly end well. While technically not "real" and not even "yours" at that, watching these boys be born, live, and grow caused you to cultivate a love for them almost as if they were your own. Your heart thumps uncomfortably in your chest; you didn't want to see how this plays out, but you didn't have a choice.
Despite the dysfunction in your parents, you had always wanted a family of your own. An attempt to break the cycle and bring new life - happy and healthy - into this world. You wanted to raise your kids with the love and care you had never experienced yourself.
You understood the motivations of the witch, but that didn't justify her morally questionable choices. Once again, you are condemned to remain on the sidelines, unable to take any action to resolve the situation. You are forced to witness this charade unfold, hoping and praying that it would end well for everyone involved, yet knowing that it would not. How could it possibly?
Despite your bias, after witnessing everything Wanda had endured, you found yourself wishing for the best outcome for her, in particular. Among all the people you could think of, she deserved a break from the misery that had plagued her life until now.
Eventually, it all came to a head when another witch named Agatha Harkness had infiltrated the town with a book called the Darkhold, attempting to convince Wanda to join her and increase their powers. If Wanda refused, the witch planned to take Wanda's powers for herself. Something about a prophecy regarding a Scarlet Witch.
Meanwhile, the alternate version of you had become self-aware of the true nature of Westview. This version of you pleaded with Wanda to prioritize the wellbeing of others over her own happiness, once again. They urged Wanda to defeat Agatha and free the townspeople, even if it meant losing her spouse and children. It was an impossible choice, and you questioned whether you could have mustered the courage to make the same decision in Wanda’s position.
Wanda defeated Agatha, not that you ever doubted her for a moment. She said goodbye to you, again, and then to her boys, and released her spell. The town was free, but her family.. was gone. Wanda was once again on her own.
A startled gasp leaves your lips as you awaken from the memories. It feels like it’s been ages, but from what you can tell, it must only have been minutes since Wanda first began sharing her memories with you. “Oh.”
Cringe. You wish you could have said something, anything more eloquent. Unfortunately, you feel as though you've just been hit by a Mack truck and could nap for a week. It doesn’t help that you were still feeling the effects of lack of sleep for the last couple of weeks.
“I-I’m sorry, I don’t feel so good, is it okay if I lay down somewhere…?” A quick glance around the temple makes you second guess the question you were about to ask. Stone floors did not make a good bed.
With a tone much softer than she had been using, she replied. "Of course, Detka, you only need to ask."
An elegant wave of her slender fingers and gone is the stone temple, replaced by a cozy bedroom. At a cursory glance, you can tell it is a sanctuary of comfort and tranquility, featuring a plush, inviting bed. The room is adorned with personal touches, such as framed photographs of you and Wanda, and artwork that is somehow absolutely your aesthetic. Shelves display a carefully chosen selection of your favorite books, each waiting to be explored. These items add character and give the space a feeling that is unique to you, even though you have never set foot in this place before.
“Come,” A glimpse of Wanda and you are surprised to discover instead of her red and black uniform, she is now garbed in an oversized sweater and some cotton sweatpants.
“You have been holding space for others for so long, it is time you took some well-deserved rest. You work much too hard.”
“Uh s-sure.” About to make a comment that perhaps you should also change, but looking down to find that you are wearing your favorite worn Legolas shirt and some pajama shorts.
“Right. Rest.” Part of you wants to ask when you can return to your home so you can finish studying for your exams, but based on previous conversation, context clues tell you that’s the least of your concerns right now, and Wanda probably wouldn’t be too pleased with that topic of discussion right now.
Wanda takes your hand, leading you to the bed and it takes your overworked brain far longer than you care to admit to realize that she means for you both to share it. Your brain short-circuits at all the factors at play here: Knowing that you yourself are touch-starved; this absolute enchantress of a woman dated an alternate universe’s version of you, even going so far as basically playing housewife and mother of your children, and here she was asking you to share a bed. Sure, she wasn’t asking you to sleep with her, but she was still asking you to share a bed next to her and what if you accidentally spooned her in your sleep, and what if-
”You’re thinking too loudly, malysh.”
“What? You can- you’re a mind reader?!” you panic, backpedaling mentally, praying to every deity that existed that you hadn’t had any unsavory thoughts in her presence, and nearly fainting as you recalled that you in fact, had some rather explicit thoughts from the moment you first saw her.. The mortification alone was enough to put you into an early grave. You weren’t sure how you had missed that during everything she had shown you, but you reasoned you were probably more focused on the physical manifestations of her powers.
"Relax, Y/N. I don't intentionally read minds, at least not anymore. Sometimes, surface thoughts are so loud that I can't help but hear them. Like right now, you're practically yelling them at me," she said, trying to offer a reassuring smile.
Unfortunately, while you were no longer freaking out about having accidentally offended the witch, you were now spiraling down a different path. You were agonizing over the pain you had, and likely were still causing her by thinking so loudly. If you remembered any media involving mind reading, the person with the ability usually suffered greatly at the hands of others unintentionally. Naturally, the average person didn't know how to shield their thoughts, and you were afraid that you might be giving her a migraine. To the woman who had only tried to bring you to a safe place and offer you shelter.
You began to hyperventilate.
Wanda could see that you were spiraling, even without being a mind reader. It was written clearly on your face. However, being able to hear your thoughts helped her identify the source of your anxiety, and she berated herself for not considering that earlier. This version of you lacked confidence, and it was now Wanda's responsibility to help rebuild it. At least, according to her.
"Your parents really did a number on you, didn't they, detka?"
Cool hands gently held your cheeks, pulling you out of your thoughts. Suddenly, Wanda invades your personal space, and the scent of vanilla fills your nostrils, momentarily distracting you from what was happening.
"We're just going to take a nap, okay Y/N? You don't have to worry about anything. I'm not bothered by any of those thoughts you have." A leering grin unfurls across her face.
“If anything I’m quite flattered by them.” She winks.
Heat flashes across your body, and you can’t tell if you were embarrassed, aroused, or both. Unfortunately, you knew your thoughts were likely betraying you. Gods, if only the floor could just open up right now and swallow you into the abyss. Yes, that would be fantastic.
"However, there is time enough for such things later. It's been years, Y/N, and I've just got you back. Nap with me, please?" The witch's eyes gaze longingly into yours, and well, when she looks at you like that, how could you say "no"?
She leads you to the bed and, with the practiced ease of her time in Westview, pulls you into her embrace as the little spoon. Earlier, you had been worried about accidentally touching her inappropriately or having a dirty dream. Now though, with her arms wrapped so protectively around you, sleep claims you almost instantaneously.
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