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crljhnn · 1 year

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The older Jefferson

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader

Summary: After Rowley announces that his older (half-)sister, who lives quite far away and has never met the Heffleys, is going to visit him over the break Susan invites his family over for dinner. Her not being what Rodrick expects, he starts crushing, which results in him trying to impress her - failing horribly.

No physical description; No use of y/n

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

A/N: Hi, just a quick warning that English isn’t my first language and that this is also the first time I’ve ever written a longer text in English that isn’t a school assignment. I also don’t fully understand Tumblr yet, which makes me honestly a bit anxious to post.

[This and a gender-neutral version are also posted on AO3]

“Why haven't you ever mentioned that you have an older Sister?” Rowley and Greg were sitting on the Heffleys living room floor - Rodrick occupying the whole space on the couch - playing a video game. Well, Greg was. It was a single-player. He promised they would take turns, but by now Rowley had been over for about two and a half hours and hadn’t even had the chance to touch the controller yet. He gave up on asking and settled on just watching about 45 minutes in.

“I talked about her before. Multiple times actually.” That is true. Rowley looks up to his sister a lot “Also, she is technically my Half-Sister. She’s been living with her Dad for longer than I remember. Normally we are the ones flying over to visit during summer break, but she hasn’t visited since she was a little Kid, and after her school schedule finally allowed it, we thought it would be a good idea if she, for a change, came here instead.”

“It sounds like you two get along great!” Mrs. Heffley walked in, holding a laundry basket under one arm while carrying Manny with the other.

“We do! I can’t wait to show her my room and have her around for the entire break! I have so much planned out already, it's gonna be so much fun! Best summer ever!”

“That sounds lovely Rowley, I wish Greg was so excited to hang out with Rodrick, but they just won't get along.” Susan sighed, throwing a pitiful glance at her two oldest, who simultaneously let out a laugh hearing this.”

“Yeah, never gonna happen.” Greg says, “I would rather spend the whole summer in school than voluntarily hang out with this idiot.”

“My Sister is actually around the same age as Rodrick.” Rowley buts in. Greg doesn’t understand how this is relevant, but it probably adds to his mother's yearning for her two oldest sons to get along. Rodrick lets out a laugh hearing that.

“I can’t wait to meet them. Just imagine an older, female version of Rowley. That’s actually fucking hilarious!”.

“Watch your language! Also, I'm sure she is wonderful.” Gregs Mom loosens her lecturing stance, turns around, and smiles at Rowley “I would love to have you and your family over for dinner sometime. It has been a while since I’ve seen your parents and I would love to meet your sister.”

“That sounds great Mrs. Heffley. I will ask my parents as soon as I get home!”

That brings us to about a week later, when the Jefferson family, including their oldest daughter, is standing in front of the Heffleys House, ringing their doorbell.

Rowley has been telling you all about his best friend Greg for years, which made you somewhat excited about finally meeting him. However, you can’t say that the picture your brother painted is entirely positive, finding him rather irritating in many of the stories you were told over time. You aren't too mad though, assuming it is normal for young, teenage boys to act like jerks every once in a while. Not everyone can be such a sweetheart as Rowley. Overall you're glad your brother managed to maintain such a long-lasting friendship.

And then there was Rodrick. You've heard rather interesting stories about him as well. In the beginning, you found those quite amusing, that was until you realized that Rowley was genuinely terrified of him. Not the best first impression someone could make on you. Influenced by seeing your younger sibling grow up to be such a sweet and genuine person you tend to be a bit protective from time to time.

You hear some hushed voices from inside, and you can identify one of them as female, reminding someone to behave. Then the door opens and a woman, who you assume to be Mrs. Heffley, kindly smiles at you. Your suspicion is confirmed a second later when she introduces herself and shoos you into the house, before continuing to greet the rest of your family.

Crossing the threshold you can now see a man standing slightly behind Greg's mother. He introduces himself as Frank, making quite a kind impression on you. Then he leads you into the living room to meet his sons.

The two older ones hardly even notice you at first, too occupied with arguing and rowing with each other.

“Boys!”, their father speaks up, successfully catching their attention. Rather comically their gazes fall from their father to you, their eyes widening and their mouths dropping open. You were not what they expected. While Greg looks just shocked, you would describe Rodricks state as mesmerized.

He recovers fast, pushes Greg off of him, stands up, and puts on what he hopes is a charming smile. Extending his hand he starts to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m-”

At least he tries to.

“Rodrick. I know. My brother has told me one or two rather interesting stories about you”, your smile is sharp. He gulps, his confident smile turning sheepish, cursing Rowley in his head. You are not what he expected and you are definitely not anywhere close to being a female carbon copy of your, in his eyes, embarrassing younger brother.

He normally wouldn’t consider himself the kind of person who has a type, but from now on, if someone asked, he would probably revert to describing you. You were just ethereal, everything about you was attractive to him. The way you walked, talked, and carried yourself, but also your clothing and hairstyle. Your pretty face just rounds up your whole appearance, making you all the more alluring.

He had to get on your good side. While a family dinner, especially with Greg present, may not be the best opportunity, he could ask Rowley to put in a few good words for him. That kid was easily influenced (or intimidated). Still, making the best possible impression over dinner wouldn’t cause any harm either.

You turn to the other boy who has been silently watching the exchange. Now that your attention is on him he starts feeling nervous as well. Your expression, however, turns a bit more friendly.

“And you must be Greg.” he nods. You introduce yourself and lastly say hello to Manny who is sitting on the floor playing with some figurines. By now the others have entered the room, causing Susan to start leading you all to the dining table.

You’re seated between Rowley and Greg, across from Rodrick, which results in quite frequent eye contact. On one side you really want to intimidate him a bit. This could maybe make your brother's life a bit easier, at least for the time being. On the other side, you do want to make some conversation, maybe throw in a bit of (family dinner appropriate) flirting or at least find out if he’s single.

It’s really hard to hold a grudge against someone who is entirely your type.

While you’re conflicted, Rodrick, on the other hand, is sweating. Nervously fidgeting in his seat. You didn’t seem as irritated with him anymore, if the eye contact was anything to go by. Was this his chance to redeem his shitty first impression? He cursed his brain for failing to come up with something cool to say.

Since when is it so hard to talk to girls? Is it getting hotter in here? What impresses girls? What does he normally brag about? His band! That’s it. Now he just has to bring it up somehow. Maybe he can bribe Greg to ask him about it. No, that’s too risky, he can’t count on Greg to not fuck this up. He is just going to casually bring it up ‘I’m in a band by the way, pretty sick huh?’ ‘Do you like music? Cause I’m in a band’ No that’s stupid everyone likes music… ‘Which kind of music do you listen to?’ That’s good, he should bring up the topic of music first, that’s a normal conversation topic. After that step two is to bring up the band. That’s easy, he got this.

Now he just needs to wait till your attention is on him again and then he can smoothly lead the conversation in the desired direction. He has to calm down, he can do it.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m in a band!” He speaks way louder than intended, his voice is squeaky, and in the middle of the sentence he has the most embarrassing voice crack imaginable.

Silence.

The sole attention is now on him. All he hears is Greg's snickering which causes him to kick him under the table.

“Ow!” That was not Greg's leg. He looks up to see you looking at him with a questioning expression.

That’s it. He fucked up. His chances were already low, but he still managed to shrink them even more, making them most likely completely vanish. Great. His ears were ringing, all he can hear is Greg's quiet laughter in the background.

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to kick you, I-” he starts his apology but loses track of what he is trying to say when he sees your expression change. You're clearly trying to suppress a smile, but it's not working at all.

“You’re adorable.” Rowley chokes on his food, and Greg's laughter abruptly stops

“Rodrick? Adorable?” That’s it. Greg gives up on ever trying to understand girls. How can his stupid older brother embarrass himself like that, then kick the poor girl under the table and still be perceived as adorable by her, especially since she is so much out of his league?

Rodrick however, was still not functioning properly.

“So that band, is its name by any chance Löded Diaper?”

“Yeah.” He is proud of himself for speaking at an appropriate volume without stuttering. “How do yo-”

“I saw your creepy white Van in front of the house. What’s up with that, kidnapping little kids as a side hustle?” You are still smiling, and with your stupid joke you somehow manage to relax the atmosphere a bit, the adults going back to their conversation.

Rodrick too is now smiling, looking at you with an expression you could only describe as lovestruck, even though you just insulted him.

He is contemplating making a joke about how the space in the back could be quite useful for more than just trapping kids but decides against it, fearing to make it awkward again. Getting nervous about taking too much time to come up with an answer he instead lands on “No only kidnapping pretty girls like you.”. As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it, realizing it's in fact not a funny and flirty thing to say, but honestly rather creepy.

At the end of the evening, Rodrick has messed up flirting with you multiple times, however, it’s his luck that you find his desperate attempts to look cool to impress you weirdly endearing. Not that he realizes that. Calling Rodrick confused, questioning why you were still talking to him, would be an understatement.

He certainly doesn’t know how he can have messed up so many times and still end up finding a little note with your number on it in his pullover hood after you left.

#rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley #fem!reader #diary of a wimpy kid #fluff #first meeting #oneshot #x reader #reader insert #fanfic

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silasours · 18 days

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ৎ⸝⸝⠀DETECTIVE AND MURDERER IN HELL . —

#pairing : alastor x gn reader. #cw : may include adult content. enemies to lovers trope. #summary : you were a detective when you were a human! but uh oh, you died.. and you meet the target that you were on to before your death? #note : I feel bad for not posting for so long, here's a little sneak peek at what I'm working on! i received this prompt from an anon in my inbox and do i love it very much. i have so many ideas for this fic, it'll be my first ever long fic on this blog! i'll reply to the ask once I'm done with the fic :3

“my, isn’t it my favorite detective!” you hear a static, loud voice speak from behind you. you quirk a brow, slowly turning your head to see a demon that somehow resembles a deer. a red deer, that is. he wears this wide smile that stretches from ear to ear, his whole attire so formal it makes you question if you’re underdressed. he holds a cane in his hands; it looks like a speaker that he got custom-made. confusion bubbles inside of you, and multiple questions float across your mind. who is this man, that so happens to know what you work as when you were still alive?

and, out of all demons, why are you his favorite?

“I’m sorry, but have we met?” you turn your body to face him fully, your eyes scanning from head to toe wondering if it’s just a fuzzy memory of yours. the demon steps closer to you, a sense of uneasiness instantly rushes through your veins. you shudder suddenly..

“aha, of course we have! you were even so interested in me back when we were alive!” his words only made your confusion grow. you, being interested in someone? in what way? your work has never allowed you any extra space to catch feelings for anyone around you, so surely it’s not a crush unless you’ve misunderstood. It’s like he read your thoughts, he quickly adds in with a light chuckle.

“constantly trying to gather information about me, pinpointing my location, guessing my next move. fun times! I truly enjoyed watching you do so.” something clicked in your head. so this demon was presumably a target of yours before he died, but how could you know exactly which? you had so many targets, so many psychopaths you had to track down and lock them up for good. though, something about his deer features brings a blurry memory of a specific target that you currently can’t quite put a name to his face.

everyone in the hotel watches your interaction with the red demon quietly. the air is tense, nobody dared to breathe any harder than they are now. charlie is the most anxious one out of everyone in the room; angel is starting to doubt whether he should’ve brought you back to the hotel. but, surely, the manager is smarter than to kill off someone interested in staying, no?

“care to remind me which one are you?” your hands instinctively hide themselves in your pockets as a habit. your tone isn’t as friendly as it was when you spoke to the others, and the demon is loving the reaction he’s getting from you.

“gladly, my dear friend! i’d say my case was the one you spent the most time on,” you suddenly feel a strong tug on your hand before realizing that you’re shaking hands with the demon. his smile widens as you grow more uncomfortable. “the name’s alastor! pleasure to be meeting you, quite a pleasure! I was there to witness your lovely slash boring death,”

you pull your hand back from his grasp, face scrunching at the mention of your death. he witnessed your death? what is he hinting? Is he trying to tell you that it was he who took the life of yours?

“I watched as you were murdered by one petty man i convinced, it was one of the most boring deaths i’ve ever seen! but dear, was i disappointed that you’ll never be able to put a close to my case when i thought you’d do better at fighting back.” you freeze suddenly, blood running cold from your face as he carries on.

“I was the last target you had before dying, it was a joy toying with you like a little mouse.”

so that’s what all the familiarity you felt was. his demeanor and personality, all that was jotted down in the notebook you had for research. he matches everything you wrote; you remember word by word from the number of times you’ve reread it, the times at night when you’re desperate to finally put the case to a stop. you feel anger and disgust pound in your chest, feet stepping back a couple of times.

he’s the reason why you died. you stare at his mocking smile, his expression that clearly shows his enjoyment while watching your reaction. a growl bubbles from your chest, and you see the spider demon hesitantly approach you. he stays beside you, rubbing his arm nervously while trying to think of a reason to pull you away from this scene.

“I died because of you,” you breathe out, body shaking not from fear but anger and realization. you suddenly leap forward when angel is about to reach out for your arm, your fingers curl tightly around the collar of alastor’s shirt. his smile only widens at your actions, a light hum that slides out so smoothly and audibly. “and it was purely for fun?” it’s even possible to notice every small feature you have on your face from how close you’ve pulled his face to yours. you earn a mere shrug from the demon.

“woah! babes, hey, calm down would’ja? let’s head somewhere else.” you feel a tug at your arm, but you don’t budge. you want to hurt this demon, to beat him until he’s curled up into a ball on the ground, but you can’t. there’s something holding you back, something telling you to not go any further than what you’re currently doing. he reeks of danger and mystery, hell knows what would he do to you if you were to cross his line. with another growl, you harshly push him away and he stumbles back a few steps with a small ‘oh!’.

angel sees this and takes the chance to quickly drag you away from the scene, and you let him. Everyone in the hall watches angel drag you all the way to the kitchen until alastor is out of your sight. his clawed fingers release your arm, a concerned gaze fixated on your slumping figure as you let out a deep sigh while pressing your face onto the surface of your palms.

now, you’ll really have to think it through whether you want to stay in this hotel. having so many things to take in so suddenly messes up your thoughts, something you’re unfamiliar with considering how you’re always sharp and organized.

© silas ( @silasours ). all rights reserved. every work posted on this account belongs to me, and only me. please refrain from reposting, plagiarizing, translating, or reproducing my work in any form possible.

#﹕a dream to nowhere.#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel imagine #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel drabble #angel dust #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor imagine #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin x reader #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #charlie #charlie morningstar

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evangelineshifts · 3 months

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FUCK IT !

You know I started thinking about the analogy that people use for manifestation and shifting comparing it to when you order something online.

And for me that analogy made sense but I could never truly relate to it cause when they said “you don’t wonder when your package is coming, you just know it is and you don’t question that etc etc”

And while yes that is true to a certain extent, I actually DO wonder when my packages are coming sometimes. I DO check how far they are from my location. I do anxiously wait for them to come.

I realize that that’s okay. Cause no matter how many times I check the order status. No matter how many times I check how long it’s been since I ordered it, my package STILL CAME.

I think the way we’re told to restrict ourselves from thinking about how much time our manifestations are taking or when we’re gonna shift actually makes it worse.

When you tell someone not to worry about something, to let it go and not thinking about it, to feign indifference the harder they’re going to try to. Which in turn just makes them think about it more.

It’s counterproductive at best.

When I order something I do think about how long it’ll take. I do check the status but once I do I just kind of go on once I’m done. I don’t really feel any particular way about how long it’s taking cause I know it’s mine and it’ll get here.

I trust that the delivery service will get it here in due time cause that’s THEIR job not mine and leave it at that 🤷🏽‍♀️

Another thing I noticed is that in ordering things- at least for me - I don’t worry about HOW it’s gonna get here. It could be delivered on my doorstep, in the mailbox, dropped from a fucking helicopter, ANYTHING, and I have never once cared.

And it might just be me being slow and realizing this is what they meant in those posts later than everyone else but it’s just like- clicked !

I’m always SO worried about the process of shifting.

What method should I do? Should I even do a method?

What if I get bored? I dont want to do it if I’m bored.

What will I think about? Should I look over my script? Maybe Pinterest boards for visuals?

What if I forgot something? I should check my script.

What if I fall asleep?

What if? What if? What if?

WHO FUCKING CARES?!? That is not why you’re doing this. Who cares about that process when the end goal is the destination.

I’ve been avoiding shifting for the longest because I just kept stressing out over the shifting aspect of it. I would maladaptive daydream about my dr and be happy in that but the thought of attempt a shift made me groan.

The thought of affirming and persisting in my manifestations seemed strenuous.

But thats not the point. With practices as fluid as this focusing on what to do is literally the last thing you need to be worried about and I just now realized that.

You’ve probably heard this all before but like fr, do whatever the hell you want. If you want to shift wide awake, eyes open and dancing with music blasting in your ears- do it. Who’s gonna tell you that you can’t? Who has the credibility to say it’s impossible.

No one.

If you want to manifest by literally saying one affirmation and deciding it’s done and then going on doing whatever the fuck you want until the 3D catches up, then do it.

Tell yourself it works for you and then do it.

✧ dividers by @benkeibear !

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waitmyturtles · 1 month

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: KinnPorsche, and Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist Edition (Part 1)

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, in a two-part series, I offer my thoughts on KinnPorsche, my very first Thai BL, and the impact that I think KP has had on the Thai BL industry since 2022.]

Hot damn! It has been a MINUTE since my last OGMMTVC review, so I'm glad to be back. I've been very much looking forward to writing my thoughts about my recent KinnPorsche rewatch: I enjoyed this ENTIRE process, especially in regards to watching KinnPorsche in the context and chronology of past Thai BLs, and man, did I ever see KP WAYYYYY differently than the first time I watched it.

Why's that? Welp -- *KinnPorsche was my first-ever Thai BL*. (Not my first BL drama ever; that award goes to the GOAT, Kinou Nani Tabeta?/What Did You Eat Yesterday?)

But when I joined Tumblr officially in July 2022, just about a year and a half ago (in the heat of passionately obsessing over Old Fashion Cupcake), my dash was awash, AWASH, in KP posts. AWASH.

I had no idea what the fuck the algorithm was telling me.

I went into KinnPorsche knowing absolutely NOTHING about Thai BL tropes, the history of the genre, the actors in the roles, what made KP so innovative by way of its storyline, NADA. Dudes -- I'm half-Malaysian, and I had never even watched a show from the Southeast Asian region, let alone Thailand, and I was unaware of how prolific the Thai drama industry was (at least compared to the Korean drama machine).

When I first watched KinnPorsche, my perspective was that I had watched a pretty good show, and I was left surprised back then in particular by the No Homophobia Bubble (well, almost no homophobia, Big) that I now know is so much more common in Thai BLs than I realized.

It was through KinnPorsche that I discovered Thai BLs, and it was subsequently through Bad Buddy that I realized that I NEEDED to understand the development of this national genre -- so back to the history annals I went, through my OGMMTVC project, starting from 2014's Love Sick, and here we are at this moment of the timeline, the hot hot late spring and summer of 2022, enjoying the ✨vibbbeeezz✨ between Mile Phakphum and Apo Nattawin, and leaving me wondering why there was a national shirt button shortage in the midst of a Thai mafia crime drama. I'm glad I have history on my side now as I think about KinnPorsche as a standalone drama, and as I also think about the impact it has had on the Thai BL genre and fandoms prior to its premiere, up to today's moment in time.

I took my time to draft this piece partly because I was busy watching Be On Cloud's second and latest serial drama in Dead Friend Forever. I think BOC is doing something very interesting by way of their acting and contracted scripting choices, which I want to ponder by way of the context and aftermath of KP's airing. As such, while I had intended to write just one post about KP, I have a bunch of thoughts that'll spill over to tomorrow. So here we go, a quick overall outline for the lovers for today and tomorrow on my ruminating thoughts:

1) My critical thoughts on KinnPorsche as a standalone drama in the context of the history of previous Thai BLs, 2) My thoughts on how new arrivals to the wider Thai BL fandom shaped the perception of KP vis à vis older Thai BLs, 3) How I think KP has impacted how other studios approach, market, and write Thai BLs now, and 4) A quick passing thought on BOC's own continued influence on the Thai BL genre and industry since 2022, particularly by way of Dead Friend Forever.

I'm going to concentrate on numbers 1 and 2 in this piece, and they're actually going to be a touch conflated, because I want to lean into a now-obvious fact that the BL Elder community knew all along about KP when it first aired in 2022: there was not much that was new about what KinnPorsche was doing. (This is not necessarily a bad thing, as I’ll get into below.)

When I was a newbie on Tumblr, and the algorithm was feeding my dash, I remember seeing posts about how Be On Cloud, the studio behind KP, was doing things differently than the rest of the Thai BL field -- I recall posts about the studio hiring the best acting coaches, how the cinematography was nothing like what we had seen in other shows, and how Be On Cloud was committed to creating safe environments for its actors, particularly Apo Nattawin, who had reportedly faced discrimination in his past acting career, reportedly leading him to leave the Thai drama industry for a number of years.

While some very early Thai BL studios were known to not have the safest or friendliest environments (the filming of What The Duck comes to mind by way of this lore), by the time of KP's airing, GMMTV had strongly established itself as the leader of Thai BL productions, and other players, including New Siwaj and Cheewin Thanamin, had produced quite the number of dramas under each of their respective studio outfits. The industry, by 2020 and 2021, when KP was in its development origins, wasn't new anymore. Acting coaches, such as Aof Noppharnach, were now also regularly writing, directing, and producing original shows, and major BL studios had introduced workshopping as a regular step to production. On the artistic end, studios and writers had established expected artistic tropes -- 2018's Love By Chance is the first example that comes to my mind of when the Thai BL genre crystallized in a structurally derivative piece of art by way of containing and using prior trope references and dynamics.

Be On Cloud, in picking up the KinnPorsche script from Filmania during the pandemic (I use these posts here and here for my non-primary sources of KP lore) clearly knew it had something innovative on its hands by way of producing the genre's first mafia-based BL romance.

But 2020's Manner of Death had already introduced crime and mystery to BL, and 2021's Not Me continued a multi-genre perspective somewhat successfully around romance. And regarding sex and heat: KinnPorsche didn't do that first, either. MaxTul brought it first in 2017's Together With Me, and MAME has owned this corner since 2018's Love By Chance and 2019's TharnType. (Props to MaxTul for being in both Together With Me and Manner of Death; MileApo owe those dudes some beers.) By way of cinematography, which KP does extremely well: we had already begun seeing prestige cinematography in 2020's I Told Sunset About You, and 2021's I Promised You The Moon and A Tale of Thousand Stars.

It was natural, I think, for much of the KP fandom to think that KP was innovative in a lot of these categories, because, like me -- KP was our first-ever Thai BL. By way of money clearly spent on the show, the directorial purview of the show, the utterly gorgeous cinematography (man, that nighttime pull-away shot when the guys are in the roof pool, oof, why couldn't I find a gif), a new fan might think, geez, this has never been done before! But it had, and not just in Thailand, but for years prior in Japan, and more recently in Korea.

This is ALL not to say that KinnPorsche “suffered” because of what I'm uncovering by way of KP's misunderstood innovation. I think a perception of KP being entirely “new” in the BL field has contributed to its lore and enduring influential status. On this rewatch, I appreciated the mafia-based storyline as a support system to the central KinnPorsche romance. Yok being centered as an important mentor to Porsche, played by the inimitable Sprite Patteerat, was refreshing to see. Porsche accepting his bisexuality, especially with Yok's support, without the typical BL head-spinning queer revelation, was a welcome element to the show. And, frankly -- I had, on my first watch, missed, of course, the clear references to Thai BLs of the past in this show, references that I really loved seeing this time around.

From the old school, we got Kob Songsit, the OG BL dad, no longer Tong's dad in the seminal movie, The Love of Siam, nor Dean's dad in Until We Meet Again. This BL veteran is now a damn dad don, weapons and all.

We've also got Na Naphat, who played important side characters in IPYTM and UWMA. We have former BL lead guys in Jeff Satur and Perth Nakhun. We've got guitars and singing, we have underwater smooching, we have a cute-cute first date. We arguably have questionable kabedon in Kinn's and Porsche's first intimate moments. We have cooking for your lover, we have feeding your lover, we have the towel-drying of the hair. KP, by 2022, keeps up with Idol Factory's Secret Crush On You in prominently featuring a femme-presenting side character in Tankhun, PHENOMENALLY ACTED by Tong Thanayut, who we had seen previously in TharnType.

KP was, in part, directed by Pepzi Banchorn, who served as an assistant director on 2019's Dark Blue Kiss and 2021-22's Bad Buddy, and had a quick guest spot in 2022's The Warp Effect. KP was also, in part, directed by Khom Kongkiat, who played Uncle Tong in Bad Buddy, and subsequently directed The Promise in 2023. AND, finally, one of the KP screenwriters is Bee Pongsate, who has co-written so much flippin' BL: Last Twilight, Bad Buddy, Dangerous Romance (😬), Vice Versa, My School President, A Tale of Thousand Stars, 2gether and Still 2gether, and that's not even scratching the list -- you get it.

KP's supporting cast and crew was simply stacked with BL vets, who clearly knew the scene, and who helped to support Mile Phakphum's rookie acting and Apo Nattawin's return to the screen. I'd posit that this group of people knew EXACTLY what references they were putting into KinnPorsche, from actors to tropes, and also knew when, where, and how to innovate around those references to still make this show unique.

Certainly, KP's approach to sex and heat -- by way of Kinn's and Porsche's first drunken encounters (hi again, MaxTul), the uncut intimate scenes between them, and Vegas's and Pete's union by way of, well, semi-torture and/or kink -- was bold enough to be overall quite notable. But again: Thai BLs had been pushing that envelope for years past, and it has continued to do so in shows like MAME's Love In the Air and GMMTV's Only Friends.

In other words: after this rewatch, with the history of the older Thai BLs I've watched under my belt, I don't see KinnPorsche as firstly innovative. But I appreciate the show differently now, in particular for how very obvious it worked to include past Thai BL references in its production, and I actually gained a different appreciation for it.

I also want to made a quick tangential note about Apo and Tong specifically by way of innovation. Dr. Thomas Baudinette, a long-time BL fan and academic researcher on Thai and Japanese queer media, notes in his book, Boys Love Media in Thailand, that an ideal trajectory for a Thai BL actor is to debut in BLs in order to transition to more popular primetime het Thai dramas, as Gulf Kanuwat of TharnType, and Ohm Thitiwat and Kao Noppakao of UWMA and Lovely Writer, respectively, are notably doing at the moment. Apo Nattawin did this the other way around: he had established his career in het lakorns, most notably in 2015’s major hit drama, Sut Khaen Saen Rak, and subsequently left the Thai drama industry after reportedly being discriminated against for his skin tone and fashion choices. And his way back to the industry was through BLs. Taking the lore of Mile Phakphum recruiting Apo for KP out of the picture for a moment: I think this indicates a shift in how BLs are increasingly perceived in Thailand, and even globally, as being a career-worthy genre of content on its own for actors. (Apo's exploding fashion career is proof of this.) And BOC has now recruited another lakorn vet in Jes Jespipat for its third upcoming drama, 4 Minutes.

As well, Tong Thanayut’s very public coming out after the conclusion of KP’s airing is notable for how Be On Cloud has continued to center Tong in its productions after that fact, most notably in 2023’s film, Man Suang, while other out BL actors are not as lucky by way of guaranteeing and attracting future work.

I have a lot more to say about KinnPorsche's and Be On Cloud's impact on the current Thai BL industry, and how I think that impact has affected the marketing and creation of more recent shows like 2023's Only Friends, and 2023-24's Playboyy. But this first post has gotten long, and I actually haven't written much about the actual show itself, HA. So let me say this:

I think it's notable that the first shows that played around with themes outside of romance, like 2020's Manner of Death, and 2021's Not Me, were not perfect shows. We see now how multi-genre BLs are just exploding, what with Dead Friend Forever and the upcoming slew of vampire BLs that are going to drop (and let's not forget the first omegaverse BL drama in Pit Babe -- or should we forget it, I dunno). Not all of these shows are perfect, but the genre has only been around for a decade. There's a lot of time, and a tremendous amount of interest and funding, that upcoming shows can leverage to become better, especially these multi-genre shows that we're seeing more of.

KinnPorsche as well, was not a perfect show. I have some thoughts particularly on VegasPete to offer tomorrow, and I think, overall, that KP could have easily been a shorter series with more impact.

But I'll still give the show some of its flowers, because I think, unlike MoD and Not Me, that KinnPorsche did a better job of centering the Kinn and Porsche romance for dramatic effect, particularly by leveraging comedy. Were there many moments of hibbly-jibblies? Oh, totally. Dudes, also, Kinn fucking forgot about Pete! Pete coming back to the house and reminiscing about Vegas while holding his neck? Eeeeyikes, no thanx. There were a number of these weird bumps that I think could be explained by way of intentional camp (which I think KP did pretty well), but I do believe the show could have been tighter with more editing.

But, I gotta admit: I had a great time re-watching KP. That says something. Was it the heat that tiddled my dopamine cycles? Probably, somewhat. (No shame in my game.) Or -- a more reasonable theory, ha, is that Apo, as a veteran actor, demonstrated more range than I originally remembered. He can really do comedy well, and he timed his comedy perfectly for the absurdities that peppered KP through the series (the bread crawl, the constant throwing of hands, the jumping-on-Kinn when the ghost of Pete showed up, oh shit we're in the forest now, etc). Apo and Tong, in particular, stayed true to the bit many times during the show, and I think the series benefitted greatly from their collective comedic talent and timing -- which I thought was nicely refreshing for the genre.

With that, I'll have more ruminating tomorrow about the show itself, about how I think the impact that KP and BOC have had on the genre after KP's airing, and other thoughts about the cultural moment that KP demarcated when it aired -- see you tomorrow!

[MORE MORE MORE KP tomorrow! And I'll have more thoughts about the watchlist then. But for now, here's the classic OGMMTVC list for you to chew on!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: preamble here, part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) (review here) 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist

...interrupting the OGMMTVC list here to watch War of Y (2022) (watching) in chronology to decide if it gets listed...

37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch to Reexamine “Genre BLs” and Internalized/Externalized Homophobia in GMMTV Shows 39) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 40) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 41) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 42) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 43 La Pluie (2023) (review coming) 44) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 45) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType) 46) Only Friends (2023) (tag here) (not technically a BL, but it certainly became one in the end) 47) Last Twilight (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as Thailand’s first major BL to center disability, successfully or otherwise) 48) Cherry Magic Thailand (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as the first major Japanese-to-Thai drama adaptation, featuring the comeback of TayNew) 49) Ossan’s Love Returns (2024) (adding for the EarthMix cameo and the eventual Thai remake) 50) Dead Friend Forever (2024) (thoughts here) 51) 23.5 (tag here) (2024)]

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #be on cloud #mileapo #mile phakphum #apo nattawin #kinn x porsche #porsche x kinn #tong thanayut #bible sumettikul #turtles catches up with old gmmtv #turtles catches up with thai bls #turtles catches up with the essential bls #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #pond krisda #dead friend forever #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche the series meta

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kingofanemptyworld · 3 months

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I saw a post like a week back comparing Nanami’s final words to Itadori with Nobara’s — as in, Nanami cursing Itadori (in the same way he considers his grandpa’s last request a curse) vs. Nobara trying to ease some of Itadori’s burden.

Nanami: “You’ve got it from here.”

A more gentle curse than his grandpa’s, maybe, which is more like a demand that Itadori help who can and save who he can by virtue of being “strong enough” to do it. But a curse all the same. Placing yet more unreasonable expectations on a child who already bears too much on his own shoulders.

Nobara: “It wasn’t so bad!”

Plainly telling Itadori that she doesn’t regret becoming a sorcerer and that her death shouldn’t weigh on him. Her life wasn’t bad, so there’s no reason to lay another curse on him. Whether or not she really means it is sort of irrelevant — on some level she’s saying this for Itadori, because she knows him and she knows exactly how much of the blame he’ll take on himself. It’s also for herself, I think, in that she doesn’t want to have regrets. She didn’t reunite with her friend but she came to Tokyo, she got stronger, she proved over and over again that a little bit of vanity and power can go hand in hand and there’s nothing wrong it. She made friends she loves dearly, people she gladly put aside chairs for. Nobara knew the risks and she’s accepting the consequences.

Which isn’t to say that Nanami isn’t doing those things, that he didn’t know the risk. He clearly hates that he’s passing the burden onto Itadori. But he still says it. He still puts in his faith in Itadori to finish the fight and continue on.

There’s a similar trend of the adults doing this, too, especially with Higuruma in one of the latest chapters.

He may not be verbally telling Itadori that it’s his job now to take down Sukuna. But the “I’ve done what I can” combined with that open-palm gesture towards Itadori and the flashback we get of him saying he’ll play his role and die in the fight… it’s another curse, however you look at it. Passing the baton to Itadori because he can’t do it himself, as much as he would like to.

I would argue the kids are more liable to try and lighten the load for Itadori, but then, Fushiguro gets Itadori to go along with the culling games plan by asking him to “start by saving me [Fushiguro]”. Because he knows that’s what will motivate Itadori and likely prevent him from going off on his own. It’s fair, and I don’t even think he’s wrong to say it like that, but it’s still sort of digging hooks into Itadori that absolutely dictate his actions going forward.

So Nobara is actually an outlier in this respect, which is fascinating. Especially because her moral views are so different from Itadori’s and even Fushiguro’s. But that’s probably precisely why she says what she does to him. Nobara values the lives of her loved ones more than anything else. She’s willing to play hero when she has to but it’s not her natural instinct and she immediately sees the negatives to a situation like that (ex. When she tries playing along with the cursed spirit in her intro to save the child and realizes they’re both probably going to die there). You might say it’s selfishness, and yeah, to a degree it definitely is, but then Nobara — maybe selfishly, maybe not — wants to prevent Itadori from being hurt from her death more than he has to be. She doesn’t want to be a burden, her final words to be a curse.

It makes me wonder if he talked about his grandpa and what it meant for him to be told, in his last moments, that he’s responsible for saving and helping as many people as he can. That’s who he has to be, for his grandpa’s sake. Did that influence Nobara’s choice here? Or was this just based on what she’s seen of him combined with who she is as a person?

#king’s court #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk spoilers #itadori yuuji #yuji itadori #nanami kento #kento nanami #kugisaki nobara #nobara kugisaki #higuruma hiromi

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tokyorevismylife · 11 months

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Ladies Man- Pt.1

a ran x reader series

trigger warnings: a little cussing, reader is female

A/N: I’ve decided to post more often, so here is a Ran dump I had saved in my drafts, because I love him so much.

Ran Haitani was the epitome of a ladies man. The very definition of one. His appearance and his charming personality was enough to with anyone over. Tall, well built but slim, with long hair tied up into braids, a pretty face and most of all, his calculating violet eyes that managed to capture the hearts of any girl he set his sights on. And he just was so seemingly effortless and graceful in all that he did. He was suave, charismatic, the list goes on. Not to mention, being able to take charge over the Roppongi district at such a young age and being apart of multiple gangs did wonders for the bad boy persona that so many females seem to like. Long story short, these advantageous traits made him extremely attractive. That’s why Ran Haitani, has always lived the good life when it came to dating. With one luck, he can wrap a girl around his finger. Who wouldn’t use this skill to their advantage?

This is precisely the reason when his younger brother Rindou didn’t even bat an eye when yet another one of his girlfriends came over to his house to disrupt the minimal peace he had. Living with such a popular brother like Ran isn’t easy. Naturally, with talents like these, a little bit of bragging is clearly understandable, right? So, obviously, Ran showed them off at every given moment. At last, what seemed like centuries later, the girl left looking utterly pleased that she was able to spend some time with a guy that seems like he came out of some fantasy shoujo manga.

After she left, Ran plopped on the living room couch looking bored and displeased. “What’s up with you?” Rindou inquired. “Shouldn’t your dumbass be smirking in my face telling me about how many girls you manage to pull?

“Aw come now, I understand you’re jealous but that’s no reason to insult your phenomenal elder brother, now is it?” Ran retorted.

Rindou merely rolled his eyes, however his exasperation quickly faded when he saw that the look on Ran’s face returned to displeasure. “Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? How can you look dissatisfied after hooking up with a girl?” Rindou asked his brother.

“I wish I could be as simple minded as you, Rindou.” The elder Haitani melodramatically sighed. “You see, when you’re as attractive as I am, you can get anyone to like you. And that’s exactly my problem. I get all these girls to like me, and majority of them are smoking too. But they’re all the same, just trying to get in my pants because they think I’m some hot bad boy gangster, which I mean, I am....but I think I just want someone to like me for me.”

Rindou blinked. “Bro... are you on crack?”, was the only thing the younger Haitani was able to spew out after hearing Ran’s rather surprising monologue. “I never thought I would see the day where Ran Haitani would be tired of hooking up and actually want to commit to a relationship.” Ran didn’t say anything but glared at his brother. Rindou, if he wanted to, could also be a complete asshole. “Well, Ran, you’ll find someone someday. But, there is no point in moping around. If you want a committed relationship with someone, get off your ass, find someone you like, and use your charms. And quit hooking up with girls who only want you for shallow reasons if it bothers you that much.”

Ran stiffened at being called out but grudgingly accepted that his brother was right. Rindou has always been the wiser one among the two. He simply tilted his head back against the couch and hoped that someone would come along soon...

“CRAP!!!” I’m gonna be late!!” You leapt out of your bed, when you realized that school would start in 20 mins. You had spent majority of the night before cramming for an extremely important test of yours, which lead to you oversleeping due to your exhaustion. Within a matter of minutes, you somehow managed to shove some sort of food in your mouth, sort your appearance out and pack your bags before bolting out the door.

“I think I may just have set a world record for fastest time to get ready”, you said as you were jogging at a quick pace. You pulled out your phone and checked the time. “Oh god, I’m gonna have to speed things up a notch if I want a hope of making it.” You swiftly quickened your pace. Upon focusing on being able to maintain a steady pace, you weren’t paying attention too much, which caused you to full on collide with an extremely tall person, which caused them to spill their drink they were holding, on their clothes.

You straightened yourself out before looking up at the stranger. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!! I was in a rush because I didn’t want to be late for class and I wasn’t paying attention.” You looked at the guy, who had shrewd, calculating eyes and stared at you. “Um, I’ll probably be late, but I can buy you a drink to compensate?” You got a better look at the man, and despite being soiled with his drink, he was extremely handsome, with long braids accentuating his pretty face. And..silent. He was starting to freak you out.

Meanwhile, in Ran Haitani’s mind, he didn’t know how to speak. He couldn’t gather his voice. What the hell is happening? He thought to himself. He was basically a professional flirt, so why was he struggling so much to recollect himself? He looked at the stranger before him. She was tinier than him, and stared at him apprehensively, and not to mention, she was incredibly cute. Beautiful. But not like anyone he was used to dealing with. He was used to dealing with girls with top-tier designer clothes, heavy makeup, and professionally done hair, and well... she was the opposite. She had a basic school uniform thrown on, which was disheveled, and a couple crumbs of food on her cheeks. And, she spilled a hot drink on him. So, how did Ran Haitani manage to fall so hard?

“Hello, dude...are you good?? Yes or no to that offer? I’d really appreciate an answer fast. I need to go to school.” You asked him, nearing the end of your patience. He snapped out of his reverie that you placed him in. “Hm..I dunno...I, Ran Haitani might need something more...” And at that, he internally cringed. Where had his eloquence gone? I, Ran Haitani?? Who says that in this day and age?? So, therefore, Ran wasn’t surprised when you looked at him funny. “Well, pretty...how about a date with me, hm? I think that’s payment enough. And, I promise it’ll be fun.” That should do it, Ran thought. Most girls would swoon if they could spend one NANOSECOND with me. And, your disgusted face made his heart drop, and he felt nervous. This was the first time he was so desperate for a girl to say yes. He wondered how someone like you managed to have so much power over him. How did you make him, of all people become a simp?

“Um...no thank you. I’m not really into the arrogant pretty-boy asshole type. But look! Those girls are!” You exclaimed, pointing to a small group of screeching girls staring at Ran. You pushed past him, as he stood dumbfounded. But, you quickly turned back and pushed a wad of crumpled bills into his unsuspecting hand.

“For the drink. Sorry for the disturbance, Ran Haitani.” And with that, you managed to make Ran Haitani come to a standstill. All he could do is stare at your distant figure, that retreated quickly.

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ctitan98official · 3 months

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@ghost-with-a-teacup : Hello! I've never made a request before but I absolutely adore your works, hehe. I'm popping in after reading your latest post about Y/N almost dying after saving the daughters, and you talked about them getting the cadou. I was just wondering if you could write something building off of that prompt; something along the lines of what you think their powers would be as well as them trying to get accustomed to their new abilities with the help of Alcina and the girls? That would be wonderful! Regardless of if you write it or not, keep up the amazing work!! With how much you write I have no idea how you pump out so many ideas, truly leaves me in awe <33 (also your crackfics are fucking amazing LOL). Have a great day~

Thank you so much, friend! That was a good prompt. I had trouble deciding what I thought Y/N’s power would be, but with how mischievous they are, I decided to go with something that they would absolutely wreak havoc with lol! Post this ask is referring to here! Let’s get into it!

You had been mortally wounded trying to protect castle Dimitrescu from hunters intent on killing your loved ones.

You thought you were done for, but Alcina made the decision to try and save you by having Mother Miranda give you the cadou.

It worked. You were so happy to be back with your girls again.

You were very weak when you first woke up but Alcina took excellent care of you.

She fed you and sat with you as you slept. She was just glad you would be okay after all you had been through.

A few weeks after you began recovering, you started noticing that you could… See through things? You thought you were imagining it when it first happened, but Alcina had been sitting right in front of you when you realized you could see her panties and bra from under her dress.

You were so embarrassed that you slapped your hands over your face.

Alcina was startled at your reaction. “Draga?! What’s wrong?” She asked.

You suddenly started laughing like an idiot once you learned what you could do. “I really like that bra, babe. I don’t think I’ve seen that one on you before.” You howled.

Alcina was confused. “What are you talking about, Y/N?!” She said, somewhat weirded out.

“I can totally see through your dress, Alci.” You informed her.

“WHAT?!” She looked down frantically, but her dress was not revealing anything. “Y/N, if this is another of your silly pranks-”

"I can prove it, Alci!” You exclaimed. You focused your attention on the book Alcina had next to her. “Hand me that book, babe!” You asked her.

Alcina was skeptical but gave you the book.

You concentrated very hard and, without opening the book, you were able to read the words on the inside pages.

Alcina’s eyes went wide with shock. “Draga! That must be an acquired skill from the cadou!” She said and brought a hand to her mouth in shock.

You cheered before you thought about something upsetting. “Ew! What if I accidentally see through Karl or Sal’s clothes! Blech, what about Duke or some rando?!” You said, horrified.

Alcina chuckled. “Well, draga. I guess that’s payback for all of the trouble you’ve ever caused.”

You cringed and screamed. “AHH! What if I accidentally see through the girls’ dresses?!” You said. You wanted to claw your eyeballs out.

Alcina didn’t find that part to be as funny. It was mutually decided that you would stay at Karl’s factory until you had better control of your powers. Better to be safe than sorry.

Karl was actually a good teacher. He had trained himself to be able to control his metal powers and he had tips to share with you.

After a few days with Karl, you discovered that you had another power. You were able to make yourself completely invisible!

You pranked and scared the shit out of him a couple of times until he got so mad that he kicked you out. Luckily, you had a pretty good grasp of your powers now.

You returned home to the castle and immediately went to go see Alcina… Well, you may have made yourself invisible first.

When you went into Alcina’s bedroom, you almost busted out laughing when you saw her practicing her smoke rings. She looked so focused and cute.

You snuck up beside her, and said “Boo.”

Alcina shrieked and almost fell back in her chair. Her hat went flying.

You started laughing crazily and made yourself visible again. “Sorry, babe! Couldn’t resist!” You said through your wheezing.

When I tell you Alcina bitch-smacked you so hard, smh. It didn’t hurt, though. You had also acquired heightened healing abilities and stronger skin like the rest of The Lords.

She questioned where you came from and you told her that you were able to make yourself invisible too.

Alcina groaned when she realized that these powers could not have been given to a worse person.

For as much of a troublemaker as you are, though, you keep your pranks with your X-ray vision and invisibility to a minimum. It was just too easy to prank someone that way. You were better than that and took your self-designated title of Prank Master seriously.

And yes, you could totally see, not only though Alcina’s dress, but through her bra and panties too, now. You use that particular skill on her a little bit too much.

Masterlist

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itskindamagical · 10 months

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Criminal Minds: the moment they realized they are in love with you

AN: this will be multiple posts, each part with a different character and different plot line. I plan on writing the reader as gender neutral. I’ve seen this fanfic trope from multiple different fandoms, so I thought I might give it a try. Please remember I’ve only seen the first few seasons of Criminal Minds.

AN edit: sorry this took so long and that the story is so long. I got carried away writing this one <3

Part 1: Spencer Reid

You and Spencer were at a quaint, small, family owned restaurant. It was nice and semi-formal. Spencer felt bad for cancelling your last two dinners together, so he took you here, a place from his childhood. He claimed to have a handful of good memories from this place, which made you happy. There’s nothing you liked more than to see Reid happy. When you walked in, you took in your surroundings: small tables, all cleaned and organized to a “T”, some booths with what you believed to be genuine leather, and the small glow of lights and candles. You could tell why Spencer liked it here.

“This place is really beautiful, Spencer,” you looked up at him and caught the small smile he threw at you, satisfied you liked his childhood favorite restaurant.

You both sat down at a small table in the back next to the windows. Outside, the sun had set, the sky turning dark purple. You started to scan over the menu, noticing that Spencer hadn’t even glanced in the direction of his. You smiled softly. He already knew what he was going to eat.

“Did you want to-um- get an appetizer?” He asked, his voice less confident than usual. You noticed his usual stims were more animated. He seemed like he didn’t know what to do with his hands-cracking his knuckles and flexing his fingers-or how to look at you-his eyes would gaze at you and quickly retreat away.

“No, I’m alright.” You didn’t want to tack on additional prices to the bill, which Reid basically demanded he payed fully. It made sense to you why Reid said he didn’t come here too often, given the expensive entrees and fancy drink selection.

“Are you sure? Like I said, I’m covering the bill, so feel free to.. indulge,” the way his cheeks flushed made you wonder what meaning he was hiding behind that statement. Spencer wasn’t the insinuating type, so maybe he didn’t mean anything by it. He did seem a little off tonight, and it made you a little flustered.

“Uh- actually, could you help me pick between these two entrees?” You pointed to your possible selections on the menu. You were going to comment on how silly his insisting on paying the bill was, but you wanted to calm him down and not add to the awkwardness. It was bizarre. You and Spencer were close and had been for a while. When you two would share a meal or go out, you both felt comfortable. Reid talked your ear off, something he tried not to do with most people. It was sweet, and you were honored that he was so at ease around you. All of this tension made this experience- which was supposed to be enjoyable- a little less pleasant.

Reid pointed to the second option you showed him, “I really think you’d like this. It’s what I’m getting.” You both smiled at the serendipitous way you happened to have similar taste.

“I’ll take your word for it. It sounds great.” That seemed to settle things a little. The waiter came over, asking about what they could get you both to drink, boasting about the extensive list of wine and cocktails. Spencer requested just water. He was the DD, and even though a single glass of wine wouldn’t get him drunk, he wanted to keep you at ease knowing you would both get home safe. You hmmed a little, showing your appreciation. Spencer was always extra courteous, one of the many things you loved about him. The waiter took your drink order and asked about appetizers, which you declined.

“We are ready to order,” Spencer remarked. He told the waiter what he wanted and you echoed this, telling the waiter you would have the same.

“Great choice. That will be out of a little bit for you both. Enjoy the rest of your night together.” The waiters comment made you pause for a moment. “Your night together?”

Oh. Oh. The waiter thought you and Spencer were on a date. You and Spencer dressed in formal attire. faces flushed. Awkwardly talking. Ordering the same meal. You and Spencer were on a date. You and Spencer were on a date. Now Spencers demeanor made a lot more sense. You could feel your face turning hot. Oh my god. He was trying to be romantic with you? God. Your heart started to flutter. You secretly wanted badly for the waiter to be right. Was Reid nervous because it looked like you were on a date, or because you were on a date?

“Y/N?” Spencer rose his brows in confusion. You immediately snapped out of your little trance- face hot, mind nervous. It almost relieved you to see he didn’t notice your flustered realization. Now your head was swimming with thoughts, arguing over and over on whether this whole romantic dinner really was romantic or just a friendly bonding experience.

“S-sorry,” you paused, grasping to change the subject. “H-how was your last case? Serial arsonist in Miami right?” You watched as Spencers demeanor completely shifted. His face wiped clean of any other emotion but focus. He spoke with clarity. His pupils dilated a little bit, which you always found funny, as it indicated that he was happy. A serial arson case, making Spencer happy. You know it wasn’t the case itself. Spencer loved sharing knowledge and info dumping about his job and interests. You always prompted him to do so. It frustrated you when he’d get shot down- something people did far too often. You loved listening just as much as Spencer loved sharing. Everything he said was interesting and insightful. You found you always had a lot to learn from Spencer. You nodded your head to his explanations, responding and prompting him with questions.

You and Spencer had found a nice rhythm when making and avoiding eye contact. When you first met, making and breaking eye contact was very awkward, but Spencers anxiety and trouble with social norms lessened after you both grew as friends. It delighted you that Spencers walls melted away with you. That was a two way street as you found yourself sharing parts of yourself you hadn’t with other people, even those you considered close. Spencer had started reciting the profile, most likely word for word what had been said at the real briefing, then he began relating it to an old arson case- one you had heard about multiple times before. Spencer did a good job at putting things in perspective for you, and you didn’t mind him recalling old information, he always found a way to make it relevant and interesting again. He was always so easy to listen to.

You were listening, but the sound of the door opening and a pair of particularly loud heels clacking pulled your attention away for a moment, and maybe you were looking for an excuse to not stare into Spencers completely captivating eyes for they made you extra anxious. You watched oddly as a fancy couple was lead to a table near by where you were dining. Almost immediately your server sped over to them, asking about drinks and throwing recommendations out. Was that group of people on a date as well? Was this place a popular romantic spot? The idea of this being a date absolutely flooded your mind. It was anxiety inducing but also filled you with energy and joy. You had be harboring your real feelings for Spencer for a while.

You turned your head back to Spencer, hearing him clear his throat to get your attention. He was trying to hide his frown. A pit opened in your stomach. Guilt. He went through all this to impress you, be with you.

“Oh, Spencer, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stop listening, I was-,”

“No. It’s alright..” he paused. “I shouldn’t have bored you with that old case. You’ve probably heard it a million times by now anyways.” He avoided eye contact with you.

“Bored?” You were heavily suprised, then realized you probably did seem disinterested. “Spencer, I’m not bored, you could never bore me,” he looked up at you and you made a point to gaze directly to his eyes which you had been dodging. “I love hearing you talk, I love listening to you. I love watching you recite facts, and share about your work.” You paused, and felt like you should keep your next comment to yourself, but said it anyways. “It’s cute.” This made Spencers eyes widen. Cute? He couldn’t really understand how his rambling could be cute, so you elaborated. “The way your pupils widen and you start to talk with your hands- sort of motioning and emoting with them,” you were in deep now, so you kept describing him, this time in way that would suggest you were looking at him with a sort of fondness not just a friend would use, “you start to grin and you don’t even notice. You tuck your hair back behind your ears. Your eyes practically glimmer.” He’s blushing and you can tell by his wandering eyes that he’s now hyper aware of his reactions and expressions. He was shocked. He was the profiler, but you could read him like a book. He never noticed how much you payed attention, how much you really cared.

“And it’s not even just they way you are when you talk, it’s how you talk and what you talk about. I think sometimes you forget that you are a genius. You speak in a way that encapsulates your knowledge and foresight. I always feel like I have something to learn, some room to grow when I’m with you. It doesn’t matter if it’s an old or new case, you bring forth new knowledge or a new perspective. The way you view the world is so fascinating to me, so of course I love it when you talk. I look forward to it. Its silly the way it excites me. I think about it a lot, how much I’ve learned from you. I practically count down the days until we get to see each other again,” at this point you were the one rambling a bit. “So please never think you are boring me, because you are probably the most exciting part of my life, and I truly enjoy listening to you talk. Even if I didn’t like the particular subject you were talking about- which doesn’t happen but if it did- I would still listen. What you say is important and you deserve to be heard. I’m sorry if anyone has made you feel otherwise and if I made you feel like your words were insignificant. Spencer, I’m your friend, and I’m here to listen.” You smiled up at him, not noticing your face being all hot and the way your heart was beating.

On the contrary, Spencer was all too focused on the way his pulse paced and how his face was as red as a cherry. Holy fuck. The awe he was in was simply indescribable. You basically confessed your love to him, just without the literal words themselves. At least, he saw it that way. He came all this way hoping he would have the guts to confess his romantic feelings for you. It took Spencer so so long to come to terms with his “crush” on you, and every time you spoke, his emotions grew in intensity. The way his heart was pounding. His soul practically shaking in his body. The adrenaline and the absolute adoration he felt when he looked at you, talked to you, thought about you. Spencer was often confused by his feelings, but now it made sense. He loved you, and wanted you more than anything. Fueled by his feelings and not really thinking, he abruptly stood up from his chair, leaned over the table, and kissed you. Your eyes widened and you stiffened in surprise, but soon understood what was happening. You stood up from your chair and reached out to cup his face with your hands, but Spencer pulled away, shocked.

“Sorry,” he looked broken with a frown of heartache. “I didn’t mean to-,” you reached out and grabbed his hands. Pulling him closer, you kissed him again, firmly but lovingly. You let go of his hands and cupped his face. Spencer quickly realized and kissed you back, placing his hands on your hips and slightly deepening your kiss. Your lips were soft and so were his. He tasted like mint chapstick, which made you smile into the kiss as you knew he would, almost obsessively, use chapstick to deal with his dry lips. You both pulled away after a tender moment.

“Don’t be sorry,” you gazed at him sweetly. You could see the glisten in his eyes, filled with deep emotion. He stared back at you, absorbed by his feelings for you. You moved your head in, going for another kiss, but saw a food runner walking towards your table with your meals. You tapped Spencers hand and motioned with your head to the seat, hoping he would understand to sit back down. No. He frowned in confusion.

“Spencer, the food,” oh. He sat down right as the runner came to the table. The runner placed your dinner in front of you both and told you to enjoy your meals. Wow. It really did look and smell delicious. You smiled sheepishly at Spencer, and felt just a little bit awkward, having just passionately kissed him in a restaurant. He softly grinned back and, after a moment, glanced at your plate. He motioned for you to try your food. You grabbed your fork and tried to craft the perfect first bite. You looked at Spencer again and finally decided to eat. The food was full of flavor and had a nice texture to it. You absentmindedly licked your lips, which Spencer found adorable.

“It’s really good!” This made Spencer smile wide and he shook his head at your cuteness.

“I knew you’d like it.”

#criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #spencer reid x you #spencer x reader #spencer criminal minds #spencer x y/n

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crabonfire · 10 months

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TSSM DOC OCK WITH TALL (average) S/O WHO USES HEIGHT ADVANTAGE TO FLUSTER!!

Pre and post octofication? If possible?

I wanted to request but didn’t get the confidence until you started demanding TSSM requests :)

Hope this is ok!

OH LETS FUCKING GOOOO TSSM REQUEST BABEYYY

Taller!S/O flustering TSSM Doc Ock!

character: pre and post accident TSSM Otto Octavius

note: babe don’t be nervous!! I’ve been into spider-man and tssm related shit for years now, I just never thought anybody would be interested in my work. I’d love more tssm requests!! It’s my main interest now anyways :)

anyway, request away!!! hehe :)

ALSO I love pre accident otto he’s so cute :(

last note, I wanted to add some uh, tiny, tiny TINY bits of lore between the two of you in the pre octofication, just to make it more interesting :D!

warnings: none, fluff :)

♡Otto Octavius♡

- He was always a pretty insecure man in terms of how he’d look, (and his personality too aw man) he always saw his body as something he wasn’t proud of. People under minded him for it, especially at work. Which is why he was surprised to find out you really liked him. When you had asked him out he asked multiple times with a red face, “Y-You’re joking!” or “Did someone put you up to this?”

But when you smiled at him so genuinely, shaking your head no and telling him you liked him…he felt like he was going to burst.

- When you two started dating, he found it a bit hard to make eye contact for very long. For he found that he’d get lost in your eyes, mesmerized by you completely. He was a shy man, and he never spoke his mind much when it came to how you made him feel. He was always quite flustered with you.

When you realized this, you started to use it to your advantage.

- On one occasion, he was in his office, typing away and sorting through files on his latest project. After hours of working he had finally stepped out to get a drink from the kitchen. You decided to try and stall him a little, maybe convince him to take a break. You had him backed up to a wall, hand resting beside his head, as you leaned down to his face. His cheeks are as red as tomatoes, looking at you mouth agape and eyes widened. You can’t help the smirk that forms on your face, eyes gazing at him intensely.

“Otto.”

“Y-Yes?”

You tilted your head a bit, blinking, still staring at him. The tension is killing him, your so close he can feel you breathing.

“Take a break hon, you’ve been cooped up in that desk for so long…”

He huffed, looking awkwardly at the floor. “Oh, I mustn’t…it’s I-important I finish this..” you took your hand, taking his chin to face you again. You frowned slightly, “But I miss you. Just one break, please?” He blinks, his lips quivering trying to find the voice to deny you. He swallows, “W-Well…I guess one break w-wouldn’t hurt.” He mutters. You smile at him, leaning in to kiss him, which he immediately returns. When you pull back you can see the slightly disappointed look on his face. You quickly step back with a whole different mood, grinning at him. “Great! Come sit with me, I was watching a movie.” You walk over to the couch, leaving him speechless as his heart doesn’t stop its pounding.

He’s flustered, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he stands there wondering what the fuck just happened to him.

- He found himself in this situation many times, pinned to a wall or how your head rested on-top of his with arms wrapped around him, engulfing him in a hug.

And every single time he couldn’t help the red that’d seep to his cheeks, the racing of his heart and and the wanting to drop everything he was doing to look up at you all day.

Oh yeah, he has to look up when he talks to you. It’s adorable 😭

♡Doctor Octopus♡

- No longer has he have to suffer the neck pain of looking up at you, because now… HE HAS HIS OCTOPUS ARMS!!

- But on the rare occasion where he’s just standing like a normal guy, you always take your chance to try and fluster you like you did before. This time, he’s not so shy about his feelings.

- You’d have him pinned against a wall just like before, it was difficult to get into this position but you did.

“Hey doc.”

He smirks, “What’s this, Y/N?”

You mirror his smirk, “What ever do you mean, Doc? I’m just, having a conversation with you.”

He chuckles, shaking his head and looking up at you with tinted cheeks. “I see. My apologies, I just never considered being pinned to a wall was a way to talk to somebody.”

“Oh, so this your first time?” You snickered at your own dumb joke, he found that cute.

“No, I’m very well experienced actually.”

You laughed. You rested your other hand to the other side of his head, trapping him in as you leaned down to kiss him. He kissed you back, passionately and slow. One of his hands had cupped your cheek, the other firm against your chest as his receptors pulled you in. He felt himself melt whenever he’d kiss you, even with his newfound confidence he still never got rid of that sweet ache in his chest. When you pulled back, before you could say anything, he flipped you over.

Now you were the one pinned to he wall, his receptors lifted him slightly to be eye level with you, a hand over your head as he leaned while the other had held your chin pinched between his pointer index and his thumb. He had an obnoxious smile on his face when he saw how your face reddened, eyes wide in surprise. He chuckled, whispering in a low tone;

“What about you Y/N, is this yours?”

♡♡♡

spot the harness your hopes refrence and I'll give u a cookie :)♡

HOPE U ENJOYEDDD request more tssm shit I love them

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prince-kallisto · 6 months

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO…

My blog??

Σ੧(❛□❛✿) Sudden, right? I didn’t realize until I was thinking “I wonder how long it’s been since my first post!” And since my pinned post was my first post I ever made, I checked and it said I published that on November 5th!

Haha I’m a bit late to my own anniversary, as it’s the 6th for me here and it may be the 7th for some of y’all. But it feels fitting that I’m late- sounds just like me to lose track of time!

Not to get sappy or anything, but I just want to thank everyone whose been supporting me, no matter if you comment frequently or just lurk! 💞💞💞 I’ve met so many amazing people in Tumblr, and I’m just so happy to chat with everyone! I’ve gone through several phases throughout my blog, so a shoutout to the people who followed me for Pokemon at first and have stuck around throughout my TWST silliness｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

I remember at the time when I first started this blog, I was in a very bad place- to the point I couldn’t imagine making it this far in life. Posting about silly little guys became a source of comfort and safety- and I started writing theories and analysis posts because those were the type of posts I ATE UP before I started posting myself! It feels so surreal now having people compliment my theories or even my art- which I can see drastic improvement since my early days. I’m still a bit shook that I’m mutuals with some of the TWST theorists I admired in my lurker days! How did that happen? ∑(ﾟДﾟ)

I’m in a much better place since then, and seeing how my blog has grown over time makes me feel kinda emotional haha ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I think I myself have grown alongside my blog (not in height, but in character at least lmaoo), and seeing how far I’ve come since a year ago inspires me to keep pushing forward. I’ll keep this date in mind for next years anniversary! \(//∇//)\

Thanks once again to everyone, to my mutuals, my followers, and anyone’s whose showed interest and support into my work. I love you all so much, thank you for being here! 💞💞💞💞💞

#kallistopost

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justanisabelakinnie · 9 months

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Okay so I know I haven’t been posting in like forever about Isabela Madrigal or Encanto despite this blog originally being meant as an Isabela appreciation blog, my interest in Encanto has kinda died down for the time being due to no new stuff being made and me hyoerfixating in other things to my own detriment(so if you’re wondering why I haven’t updated my fics in a while, this is why), and I’m sincerely so sorry about that…but also a thought has been with me for a while and I have to say it now especially because it’s exactly on topic for a blog such as this and it’s something near and dear to me that makes me so happy.

The headcanon that Isabela is a lesbian makes me so proud and grateful to be a lesbian. In fact, it’s actually what originally helped me realize I was a lesbian myself. And I’m not saying this in a “thirsty” way mind you(although she is also my cartoon crush), but seeing so much of myself in her and seeing her as a lesbian and knowing that so many people in the Encanto fandom, lesbian or not, also see her in the same way, was a huge comfort to me. I didn’t have any idea of the true reason it meant so much to me to see a character like Isabela—portrayed as the most graceful flower, unambiguously and unapologetically feminine in her own way even after her transformation, as the most beautiful and also darkest-skinned of the Madrigals, and who has my same sassy but sweethearted personality and wears my favorite color—being viewed as a lesbian, but it was. And it’s a headcanon that I’ve always held near and dear to my heart ever since I first heard it.

And it was that headcanon that lead me to start educating myself about things like lesbophobia, compulsory heterosexuality, femme erasure, labels like butch/femme, and other things related to lesbians, as my respect for the lesbian community only grew and grew. And eventually I came to the epiphany that I was also a lesbian! Crazy, right? Well, if you’ve known me long enough then it’s not crazy at all lol. So, in conclusion, whenever I think of the headcanon that Isabela is a lesbian, especially a femme lesbian, it always makes me think of my own journey accepting my femme lesbian identity and how important and beautiful it is to me. Even if it’s just a headcanon, it makes me so happy to project that identity onto a character so similar to myself. It’s cute to imagine that I have something in common with my favorite character of all time even if it’s only in my head. It helps me feel seen and validated. So thank you, Isabela Madrigal! And to all of the other people out there who also hold and support this headcanon, thank you as well!

Anyway, that’s it, so have this cute little Isabela gif to top the whole thing off!

(obligatory disclaimer that this is only about my own personal experience and feelings towards the “Isabela is a lesbian” headcanon, it is NOT meant to be taken as gospel, nor to erase the inherently cultural message that the movie sends about generational trauma in Colombian families, it’s literally just me gushing, I KNOW very well that Isabela being a lesbian is NOT CANON by any means so please don’t try and come onto this post to derail and accuse me of being racist or only having the headcanon because she didn’t want to marry Mariano, which I don’t. if you do, then you will surely be blocked. this is my own personal anecdote and is to be taken as such, don’t read anything into this that isn’t there, thank you. 😉 ik that discourse is deader than ground beef now but i just wanted to say it just in case anyone gets any smart ideas.)

#isabela madrigal #isabela my beloved #isabela is best girl #encanto #lesbian #encanto headcanons #encanto queer headcanons #isabela madrigal is a lesbian #gifs #encanto gifs #isabela gifs #my post

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eunnieboo · 2 years

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life update + graphic novel FAQ!

hello! i’ve been hard at work on my book, but i wanted to share one of my favorite panels ♥ and i thought i’d take a moment to answer some asks! hope everyone has been well~

book Q&A:

🌸 chippedmoon asked:

Hi! I just found your Momo and Priscilla art and I’m wondering: where are they from???? I really want to read about or watch them. Thanks!!!

hello!! momo and pg are my original characters! you’ll be able to read about them in my upcoming graphic novel (!!!)

🌸 desmond-the-queer-dragon asked:

Hey! I just saw your artwork and I am absolutely in LOVE!! When is your graphic novel coming out and what will the title be??? IM BEYOND HYPED

🌸 chronodisplaced asked:

Hi! When is your graphic novel out? Is it out yet? I'd love to read it :)

AHH thank you so much!!! it’s going to be called If You’ll Have Me, and it’s currently slated for fall 2023! we originally planned for a spring release but had to push things back because of industry-wide supply chain issues, printing delays, etc... for a more in-depth explanation i found this twitter thread very helpful!

🌸 sleeepyinseattle asked:

Hi! Love Momo and PG. Do you have an estimated release date and/or link to your graphic novel? I'd love to purchase it when it comes out!

thank you so much! i’ll definitely be sharing preorder links when they are available, and the second i can confirm a date, i promise i will not shut up about it! i’m very bad at being active online but i really am excited and anxious to share this little story with the world.

🌸 Anonymous asked:

Hi! I absolutely am in love with your artwork and original characters. I remember reading a while ago that there was production happening to animate them. Is that still happening?

thank you! oh gosh, i think you might be referring to the graphic novel that was announced? other than that, i can only think of this short animation i made of momo for fun. but if there was an official animation happening i would 100% be losing my mind

🌸 Anonymous asked:

You don't know how fast I'm gonna buy your graphic novel THE SECOND it comes out

OMG!! THANK YOU AW... just seeing people excited about it and looking forward to it really brings a tear to my eye. i’ve kept a lot of asks regarding the book announcement (and momo / pg in general!) because they are so sweet and kind... i appreciate all of them so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

misc Q&A

⭐️ Anonymous asked:

Hello! I looked on your socials and didn't see anything, so I was curious if you offer prints/would be interested in starting to do so? That piece that you posted on November 7th made me tear up a little and I would love to add it to my wall of sapphic art.

thank you so much! i actually planned to reopen my shop this summer but had to push it back because i’m so busy. i’m still aiming for the end of this year though! i’ve been in touch with a company that does store management and bulk fulfillment, so i’m optimistic. the last time i had to pack and ship everything from home and oh my god... how do people do this regularly. my deepest apologies to everyone who previously ordered from me because i realized there were so many ways i could’ve done better after the fact. keeps me up at night sometimes lmaO

(this next ask is in reference to my rem / misa fanart and the first time i saw it in my inbox i screamed in delight. just wanted to give everyone the context so we can fully appreciate this)

⭐️ Anonymous asked:

they’re actually t4t goth gfs because i said so

anon how does it feel to have the biggest brain

(end of q&a! you can stop here if you'd like to skip my little diary entry. haha)

general life update

i wanted to make this post three months ago but in a tragic turn of events, the one day i set aside to accomplish some personal tasks made a terrible mess of my plans 😔 the deadline i mentioned back then was for inks, so i’ve since moved on to color! i’ve been working in the morning, then coloring in the evening and through the night. it’s pretty grueling, but i’m trying to be good about stretching and resting because if my body disintegrates i can’t draw more gay shit and what then?

i feel like i’m doing okay, all things considered! i’m just tired mostly. god, i’m so tired...

this book has been my life for all of 2022 which is why i don’t have much else to talk about 😂 i have a big deadline coming up so i’m really hustling right now. i actually have to deal with packing and moving as soon as i’m done, so i’m not sure when i’ll pop up again! maybe late september, maybe october... we’ll have to see!

thank you everyone for your endless patience ❤️

#if you'll have me #anon #replies #chippedmoon #desmond-the-queer-dragon #chronodisplaced #sleeepyinseattle #iyhm

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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Together With Me/MaxTul Ship Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. I’ve covered Love Sick, SOTUS, and Make It Right so far, and today I offer my thoughts on Together With Me and the MaxTul ship. Thanks to @manogirl for your encouragement to add this to my watchlist!]

Okay! Together With Me. Well -- well, well, WELL.

First off: I’m VERY glad I added this drama to my list, and I want to give big ups again to @manogirl for being the loudest supporter of my adding this to the OGMMTVC and learning about the first high heat ship in Thai BLs. Secondly, I have to admit a mistake. I put Together With Me in-between the first and second seasons of Make It Right on my watchlist (pasted below), but I got the airing dates mixed up -- MIR2 aired before TwM, but I watched TwM first. Womp. I’ll fix my list below. (Thanks to @bengiyo for filling me in on important details about MIR2 so that I can make accurate comparisons in this piece!)

Even though I haven’t watched all of MIR2 yet, I can project from the early episodes what happens -- more heat, more chaos, more teenage angst. (MY DEAR CONFUSED FUSE. MY DEAR HEATY FRAMEBOOK.)

Nevertheless, TwM still provided some fabulous comparative material for me to understand where BL had gone from the time of 2014/2015 Love Sick to the 2017 moment of TwM’s airing.

2016 was a big year in Thailand, I now realize. SOTUS premieres as the first BL-BL -- the first show that was a BL, that focused solely on a main queer coupling. Then Make It Right airs, and it’s pulpy, wild, open, longing, full of implied teenage sex and direct communication about the befores, the durings, and the afters. Make It Right, as the dear @bengiyo stated, depicted a world in which teenage boys are able to explore queerness without being punished for it.

Then we get in 2017, and the second season of MIR2, which has more implied heat than the first season. AND THEN, THEN: we get Together With Me. And just, WOW -- did this show ever benefit from the road that Love Sick, SOTUS, and Make It Right/MIR2 paved.

Why?

One thing I wonder is: could we have EVER gotten two JACKED jocks like Max and Tul in a BL ship if LS/SOTUS/MIR/MIR2 had NOT aired before TwM?

I would actually love to entertain that as a question to the family that reads these posts. Because my own thinking is: no. I’m thinking that Captain and White walked so that Max and Tul could do it on camera run. They warmed up the censors to maybe relax a little. I would argue that the previous BLs and BL-inspired material gave MaxTul the safety, as two clearly masculine-presenting men -- stereotypically jacked, jocky, college-aged, huge, masculine, male-men -- to be the first big heat ship, as @manogirl stated, in Thai BL.

I think audiences were likely primed and ready, if they were following SOTUS (with no heat) and MIR/MIR2 (with high school-teenage heat), to GET some HEATY detail from some VERY BEAUTIFUL, SLIGHTLY OLDER MEN -- men who were also about to have some very moving queer revelations happen between them.

In other words -- the audiences had been titillated enough. As @bengiyo has reminded me: yaoi manga was tremendously popular in Thailand at this time, and showmakers were taking notice. The audiences were likely ready for ACTION-action. And MaxTul were up to the challenge.

(Also for context, I also want to acknowledge a note that @bengiyo sent to me about what Thailand was likely paying attention to across the rest of Asia -- as more BLs were coming out of Japan, Taiwan, and China before censorship. From those perspectives as well -- those different cultural reads on yaoi -- Thailand was likely also inspired. I seriously welcome input from the whole OGMMTVC family -- I’m thinking, besides @bengiyo, @absolutebl, @nieves-de-sugui, @so-much-yet-to-learn, and others might have insight on this -- about what outside cultural factors I’m likely missing from my analyses. I’d love to be filled in by the experts on any cross-cultural context y’all think is helpful from the comparative worldview of what was happening at this moment in time.)

So we get to MaxTul, KornKnock, that first scene of episode 1 that had me going WHOA -- I mean, I don’t know what I’ve missed in the intervening years, but even today, we don’t have many series just going STRAIGHT to it.

I was impressed.

Now, AFTER THAT? Oy vey, ha.

I wrote in a post right after I finished watching TwM, that I felt like while I had watched a show in a university setting, that for some reason, a lot of the show took me back to high school.

I wouldn’t criticize TwM as necessarily missing something by way of tone. Rather, I would argue that TwM experimented with a kind of tone that at least I haven’t experienced yet in my otherwise chronological watching of early Thai BLs. Namely -- TwM approached its material with a kind of...flippant tone, if that makes sense.

The script was larded with sexism and sometimes crude insinuations about queerness. The show went into VERY questionable territory with two ethical boundaries of doctor-patient relations and teacher-student relations. (I admittedly could not help but think of the recent debates around the Wat-Sani ship in the recent Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse episodes -- but I think the Kavi x Phu ship was on a different, much more problematic level, as there was active engagement by a teacher to ultimately not separate herself from a student.) (And that didn’t even come close to approaching the problematic nature of the Dr. Bright x Farm ship.)

Really quickly about the sexism, before I get back to the boys. It was really interesting to me when it was used, and when it was NOT used. Plern is, in the words of @lurkingshan, the ultimate faen fatale. Bitchy, conniving, smart-but-not -- a true villain. Aim of Love Sick couldn’t even try to compete. Prae was a ditz, and Miki was vengeful, but Plern thought she was smart, had it all, and deserved everything she wanted without trying.

But Yihwa presented with LOYALTY, intelligence, insight, and grace. And Faii presented with a chill demeanor and analytical skills, and surprisingly -- even while she was ASSUMED to NOT be athletic -- was shown playing soccer/football BETTER than the boys, which I think was VERY NICE to see in a 2017 drama. (That pushed a neat kind of boundary for me.)

Yihwa and Faii in particular defy the paradigm of setting up female characters against stereotypes of male success. What made them possibly the strongest female characters I’ve seen in a BL is that they used the characteristics of their enemies to get back at their enemies. That was smart. They broke through a lot of what could have really sunk this show, and lifted the show intelligently.

So what COULD have sunk this show? List time:

1) The Dr. Bright x Farm ship. I was honestly so grossed out by this that I don’t even want to spend time writing on it. And I am HELL-FUCKING glad that I am NOT going NEAR the second season, because I understand that there’s a redemption arc for Bright. I’m very disappointed by this storyline, as I think it saddles an out gay man with stereotypes about sexual preferences that can be done safely (like group activity), and instead presented those preferences as predatory. And then Farm goes from played-to-player. In my opinion, when the Tumblr fam warned me about this show being toxic -- this ship was toxic factor #1 by far.

2) Knock and his cluelessness. Holding on an actual MaxTul analysis for the moment -- Korn and Knock were interesting characters for me to see interacting with each other. I mean, Korn’s admission to Knock, I would argue, actually came (HA HA) a little fast (HA HA) for Knock to process. No, but seriously. A passionate hook-up, Knock’s VERY adamant reaction towards Korn afterwards, and then Knock’s warbling back-and-forth between Plern and Korn. Knock had everything happening to him and at him -- gay-for-you, lingering girlfriend, the inching back to his same-sex lover -- and I’d argue that Knock was just a little...let’s say....diluted and bro-y about it all. I could have seen a little more emotional passion. I could have seen a little more real and introspective struggle (save for the internet posts). I did like that conversation Knock had with Bright about “gay for you” -- where Bright, as an out gay man, kind of corrected Knock to say, yes, it’s a little gay, what you’re feeling -- but that’s okay, it’s normal, and I’m here for you.

3) Jocks in love. But Knock’s behavior, and to an extent, Korn’s behavior as well, was, well -- jocky. Knock, I think, was very much like -- “why is this all happening to MEEEEE, my broooosss, crying on my beddddd??” To me, at least, what reminded me about high school with this show WAS this jockish approach to romance. The show presented Knock posting on the internet, for instance -- but not spending time thinking exactly about what those posts and answers meant.

For comparison, Bright and Farm, as the other same-sex ship in the show, were presented in a predatory match-up. We didn’t have femme-presenting characters (like Christina in MIR) or other trope-y or stereotypical elements of queer behavior that we had seen in dramas past.

I think the jocks-in-love approach to this show, which came naturally by way of how Max and Tul LOOK and CARRY THEMSELVES -- was risky. Knock was kind of the perfect nickname for that character. He wasn’t a dude that was very able to read between any lines. His true revelation about Plern came when idiot Plern spilled her beans to other people, that dumbass. And I think a lot of the way Knock accused Korn of Korn’s own feelings, and Korn’s behavior in “taking advantage” of Knock, came out of jockish cluelessness. When Korn said, “I love you, dipshit!”, “dipshit” was ABSOLUTELY the right word to use to the continually clueless Knock.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID. (Leaving Bright and Farm aside forever, let us never speak their names again.)

I think Max and Tul themselves were a revelation. Were they AS SKILLED ACTORS as Singto in SOTUS, or Ohm and Toey in Make It Right? Oh god, no. Were they AS BAD as Krist? No, no, no one comes close. And were they AS INEXPERIENCED as Captain and White when those two first debuted? Also, no.

Max and Tul, I think, seized a different damn moment. I’m actually not sure I’d say there was electric chemistry between them. I think they both acted WELL, but there wasn’t EMOTIONAL sizzle, at least the kind I look for. They were certainly bros and homies -- but longing gazes à la Tee and Fuse, they did not have.

What they DID do, with their PHYSICALITY, was break boundaries by way of what we could SEE, without needing to read between lines or analyze shit. We just SAW THEM DO IT, tear off shirts and make out and bounce around and show off their muscular anatomy, and I think THAT was actually groundbreaking. I think IN THAT -- the boys knew EXACTLY what they were doing, they KNEW they could do it well, and they DID do it well -- and I didn’t see an iota of hesitation from either of them. And I thought that was really impressive. And I think these guys knew -- by DOING THAT SO WELL -- that they were breaking important ground in the world of television BL. The viewers -- those viewers who, like Knock, don’t like or WANT to read between lines -- THEY GOT what Max and Tul were serving.

What I also find impressive is that these guys IRL are serious allies. Their social media profiles, for the both of them, are gilded with allyship. That’s huge to me. (Tul at NYC Pride, come awn.) They’re owning their ownership of a slice of representation -- again, as jocky dudes in real life who engage fearlessly in queer material. (I now can’t wait for The Outing.)

Honestly? Yes, TwM was at times either painfully and/or hilariously toxic. I think the Bright x Farm ship is violent and harmful, and I truly wish it didn’t exist.

But I’m glad I watched TwM because -- well, fuck it, I’m an old mom, and I like to see jacked, shirtless dudes sometimes.

BUT ALSO: I think the makers of TwM knew that there were VIEWERS who WANTED TO JUST SEE QUEER MEN BE QUEER MEN WITH MEN, and you know what? I think the show’s creators said to themselves -- well, hot damn, maybe we have something here. And now’s (in 2017) the time for it. Sometimes I don’t want to read between the lines, too -- sometimes, I want a show that I can watch with a damn martini in a Solo cup and just be like, ooooh, man tiddies!

And the show creators found Max and Tul for Bad Romance, and realized, yes -- let’s spin this off, because there’s an audience out there who wants this. And I think that was accurate then, and now. Award-winning actors, Max and Tul are not. But they are VERY important to my historical understanding for how queer representation was progressing in BLs at the time of TwM -- in a vastly different fashion than Love Sick, SOTUS, and MIR had set up in their own worlds and their own paradigms.

I think TwM created a paradigm of its own -- one that I think has helped BL to grow at least in quantity, maybe not in quality, but at least paved a road that allowed creators to think and to say, well -- if we lead with the sex, we can still make a show. I see the OG BL fans on Tumblr marveling often at the sheer volume of BLs we have now. I want to think that that happened in part for what TwM created -- the permission, the openness, and the standard to do just that. And for the fans that want that content? We live in a world now where we have our fair share of shows to choose from. I think TwM created a paradigm that we didn’t know we needed in 2017. And I don’t regret -- even if it’s not my preferred style of drama -- having the option to watch a cheesy, jocky show every so often. Instead, I feel lucky that in 2023, I can have my choice.

[Alright! It was so much fun late-night liveblogging TwM and hopping on the Yihwa bandwagon, and I’m getting back into doing it for Make It Right 2. Thanks to everyone who answered my questions about TwM along the way: @manogirl, @nieves-de-sugui, @absolutebl, @crowie, @clairificusrex, @respectthepetty, @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @kyr-kun-chan, @telomeke, @miscellar (I will always be looking for the BBS connections, friends telomeke and miscellar, haha), @lurkingshan, and apologies if I’m missing anyone else -- thank you, family!

Watchlist update below, which is corrected for chronology for Make It Right 2. And...unbelievably...I’m adding something else to this list. I’m gonna add SOTUS S. I vowed I wouldn’t because of Krist, but. Since I am NOT, EVER, going to watch the continuation of TwM, I want to watch the continuation of another early series, besides Make It Right 2/FrameBook, to see the maturing of a relationship, as I’ve been involved in excellent convos with @bengiyo and friends about how length-and-depth-in-committed-relationships is NOT the most popular of BL themes -- but it’s a theme that literally brought me to Asian BLs via Kinou Nani Tabeta so many years ago. (I’ve read a lot that SOTUS S is better than SOTUS anyway, and it has my beloved Nammon in it.) I’m wondering if seeing a relationship developing and maturing is an important movement for Thai BLs at the end of 2017 into 2018, maybe a theme that hadn’t been explored YET, before TwM’s continuation, and one that might feed into the shows of 2018 and beyond. And I’m wondering if it’s important, as MaxTul was, for seeing the KristSingto ship move forward -- especially as I get prepared to FINALLY get to He’s Coming To Me, and getting to understand the impact of what Aof, Singto, and Ohm Pawat did to split the KristSingto ship. As always, I welcome any feedback!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) SOTUS (2016) (review here) 3) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (watching) 5) Together With Me (2017) 6) SOTUS S (2017-2018) 7) Love By Chance (2018) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 11) TharnType (2019) 12) Theory of Love (2019) 13) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 14) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 15) 2gether (2020) 16) Still 2gether (2020) 17) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 18) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 19) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 20) Not Me (2021-2022) 21) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 22) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 23) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 24) My School President (2022-2023) 25) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here)

#together with me #together with me meta #maxtul #korn x knock #knock x korn #kornknock #turtles catches up with the essential bls #turtles catches up with thai bls #turtles catches up with old gmmtv #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #max nattapol #tul pakorn

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polyamorouspunk · 4 months

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Curious what your thoughts are on ppl being "obligate" polyam?

I ask because I've been debating if maybe I might be because I feel so in love with my gf rn, but... I still feel like I'm missing something. Like. She feels like a single flavor of food that I like. But, as much as I do I couldn't live off of just that one thing yk?

It scares me though, because she's explicitly monogamous, so I can't really go out and explore and try it out to see if it's for me without losing her. I don't really know what to do. Or how much longer I should stay still feeling like this. Or if I should just dismiss it as baseless anxiety and just let myself enjoy being with her.

I'm so scared to break her heart.

And like, how can I do this? How can I seriously be considering losing her just to try something I don't even know if I need or will even like.

It feels wrong, I love her this is stupid. But I just can't seem to dismiss it. I mean, I'm literally typing this in the middle of a New Years Eve party because I just can't get it out of my head.

I think what you’re calling “obligate” polyam is what I call “inherently” polyam, where, it’s like, I WILL fall in love or at least crush on other people and want to date them at the same time no matter what, it’s not a choice it’s just how I feel.

I started this blog as an outlet for my anger issues which I now realize probably stem from my bpd and just to talk about polyamory- correct the RAMPANT misinformation people were spreading, but also, to talk about the stuff no one else seemed to talk about. I’m really lucky that my polyam mutuals post about all the wonderful things about polyamory- the love, the amazing partners, the memes, etc. But that left me needing a space to talk about what I felt the most- shame.

I came out at 17 as polyam and it was awful. I was terrified I was going to lose my partner over it. I was filled with this awful feeling of being a horrible person for not “loving my partner enough” and so worried they were going to see it as them “not being good enough for me”. I mean I was seriously broken up about it.

But my partner took it in stride. We made it work. But I still felt this deep shame that ended up leading me to decide to be monogamous just for them after a while.

I even started dating my now-again-gf while dating my primary partner at the time, and although she literally dated me while I was dating someone else and quite literally knows I run this blog, I still haven’t re-brought-up the fact that I’m polyam, and that’s 100% hanging over my head, especially with how infatuated I am with someone else right now, though we’ve talked about that a little.

I’m really lucky I have people like @eevyerndracaneon and the people in my polyam discord server to talk openly about the shame and guilt that I still to this day feel about being polyam despite running one of the biggest polyamory blogs on this website.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned though, it’s that monogamous people can be a lot more open-minded than you’d expect. I’ve never actually dated anyone polyam. All of my partners have been monogamous. And all of my monogamous partners have been fine with me dating other people while also dating them.

And a few years ago, my brother came out as polyam! And it was even harder for him than coming out as gay! And once again I was lucky enough to ride on the tailwind of him coming out first as the older one and also come out as polyam. Even my best friend and I have talked about dating and having an open relationship in the past.

It’s funny, and wild, how many polyamorous people you’ll meet out in the open once you come out too. My first semester in college, I was sitting in front of two older trans guys when I heard them talking about polyamory, and shyly I turned around and asked if they were polyam and they said yes, and they were the first polyam people I had met (that I know of).

Just a few months ago I was at a concert and sat next to a group of 3 people that were all really touchy and flirty, and since they were all really obvious about it I just asked if they were all dating and they explained their polycule to me and I was just like… me! That’s me! Me too! And they were SO happy to meet me back!

A lot of the other polyam blogs on here will tell you the same thing: it’s unrealistic to expect one person to fill every single want and need you have, and can put a lot of pressure on that person to do things they maybe aren’t comfortable with.

It’s not as unusual and shameful as you might think. It’s really all about conquering that inner polyphobia, which can be really hard, and is a process. Hell, I’m 24 now, and run this majorly successful polyam blog, and I’m STILL in my discord server like “guys idk how to tell my gf I’m polyam… again… uh… imma just not rn”.

Only you can decide what the best course of action for you is. I know I’ve lived fine with choosing monogamy and feeling like I’m missing out on some of my wants/needs as a sacrifice for a wholesome relationship I wanted to keep. A compromise, if you will. I also know that not coming out to my partner as polyam was eating me up inside at the time. And that when they did end our relationship and I was able to be with someone else I did realize things I was missing from that relationship and how GOOD it was to finally have those things.

Be optimistic. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, really, it’s that there’s more of us out there than you think, even if we go by different names, but also that monogamous people really can be open-minded and willing to share a partner.

#punk gets mail #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous

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