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kanmom51 · 11 months

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JM live 15 June 2023 20:46 or 8:46pm KST

cr./to the creators of the media used in this post.

*Disclaimer: I hate Tumblr and it's stupid ass image limit. My personal feeling about this post is that it's lacking, but I guess c'est la vie, did the best under the circumstances (at least that's what I'll keep telling myself).

Guess what?

We already saw the pattern with JK, but is it possible that JM is joining in on the it? I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

I won't be talking about every single thing that came up in JM's 1 hr. and 20 min. live. What I will do is touch on a few of the interesting things that happened during the live (well, what I found interesting at least), and what followed the live as well. Because JM didn't just show and dip. He wanted to take up home in his pocket, although he did think that over 7 million at his place might be too much, maybe if it was half of that it would be ok, lol. But we know JM, for reals, he wouldn't do a live at home, so he did the second best thing, which was to come back to us with posts and comments on Weverse.

Anyways, what did we have in the live?

JM talked about the 10 year anniversary a bit. Telling us he's not really that excited, but the biggest emotion he's feeling is fun. I get the not feeling excited. He also explains why. I'm happy that he felt it fun, I can't help but think that it was a bit of a bitter sweet celebration for them. He touched, not touched on it, when he mentioned the two members in the army at the moment.

JM tells us what he's up to lately, his daily schedule, more or less.

He's asked if he's working on a song, and JM like JM answers this:

He later gives us a little more detail: he's been working out and eating healthy and working on some music and living well. Once a week he allows himself to rest.

The question I ask is if JK allows him to rest too? Lol, nah. I guess that's the day they take off to visit Bammie. Ehm... we do have the scratch to prove it...

Jokes aside, JM talks about how it's good for him to have a set schedule and be at work. For him and JK both (that's me talking not JM). And seeing that RM kind of spilled the tea, we can guess that the workouts are probably, at least some of the time, together with JK.

At the 10:40 mark approx. Tae shows up in the comments.

JM, the kind of sassy and a true Slytherin that he is tells Tae, he will if Tae continues to comment for the whole time.

Well, I guess that was the end of it for Tae, lol.

Fuck people for calling him chubby in the comments. I hate this obsession with his weight, but even more so I hate people sitting at home on their asses and calling this 1.73 meter tall man that weighs 62.5 kg after putting on over 4 kg to get there, chubby. Like wtf? Man is skinny. And minus those 4 kgs he was fucking too skinny. Do they want him to starve himself? Do they not remember the issues he had in the past with his weight (issues which always linger even if you are "eating healthy" as he put it)?

Ok, so at around 14:55 min. JM's asked for the first time about the rainy day fight. When watching live, I kind of thought he was evading the question, but him answering the question later on, I tend to believe that maybe he just misunderstood the question at that point.

JM talks about sleep and R.E.M and how when you dream your mind is active and you don't really get deep sleep, and watching a video about it. I find it kind of funny and coincidental - NOT - that JK seems to have said practically the same things using similar wording in his live as well.

But no, they definitely aren't spending time together.

JM tells us he went to sleep at 6 am, woke up at 12 pm, made himself some chicken breast to eat and went back to sleep. Sound familiar anyone?

Sleep patterns. Chicken breast for lunch.

But no, they definitley aren't spending time together.

JM is asked to do the live all night.

He wants to sleep early.

Funny how that didn't work out for him... I guess someone was staying up to be able to speak with that very special person that happened to be in LA and would be waking up just as JM was supposed to go to sleep?

Slept at 12 and woke up at 8, ate at 12 pm, rest and go to workout at 2:30 pm approx., start working at 5 pm, at night he studied English. Ehm...didn't somebody else just let us know, repeatedly, that he's working hard on his English?

From his 5 June live:

Nah, I guess just another coincidence.

What I'm finding interesting is if JM is done with his promotions and it's off to the army any time now, why would he be working on his English?

Oh how I do hope that this is for something in the pipelines that involves the two of them TOGETHER!!!

Well, it is hard to break a sleeping pattern that has been with you for years and years. We all know of JM and JK's late night/early morning escapades. All night buddies that they are.

Rainy day fight, JM's version:

So this time around JM understands the comment asking about the rainy day fight and gives us his version of it.

Of course we got JM's JK smile.

He does tell us he's giving us an edited version of it. JK, on the other hand, edited without telling us, lol. Both said a lot about the what happened before and after, but magically didn't mention exactly what was said at the moment by JK to anger JM so so much for him to react the way he did.

Anyway, we got is the story from JM's pov. And yes, there are some differences, but I wouldn't expect otherwise. 2 people, 2 povs. No 2 stories would ever be exactly the same.

The main discrepancy I found was the timeline. JK's being when they were trainees, and JM's all over the place but still later on (2014-15). Idk, I'm gonna side with JK on this one, lol. Like I mentioned in the post about JK's live, I feel like this fight was way more impactful for JK than it was for JM. And as such it's more etched on his brain than it is for JM.

Something I found interesting was how each of them was keen to take responsibility for the fight. JK blaming himself for how he behaved and what he said, and JM the same.

What I also found interesting and very much not surprising is how this fandom roles. JK taking blame for the fight = "oh poor baby bunny JK, how big of him to take the blame"; JM taking blame fir the fight = "omg, how mean is JM picking on baby bunny JK, being so mean to him, ugh we hate JM."

Did I mention how there are some parts of this fandom that I absolutely despise?

One thing they both corroborated was the state of JK's eyes the morning after, lol.

Both JM and JK were happy giggly while telling the story.

A fight that definitley left it's mark of them both but also something to reminisce back on fondly.

Something else we learnt from JM's live was that he most definitely watched JK's live. He watched JK tell us about the rainy day fight and he also found JK's impersonation of G-Dragon very funny.

When is your next album coming JM?

Listening to army love letter

JM was truly moved by this.

Did JK cook Ramen for you?

JM averting eyes away from camera and moving on at the speed of light to..."oh angel pt. 2 came out today..."

There are 1001 options to why not yet. I'm not going to even start going there, because it's irrelevant and unimportant.

What I do know is JM chose to answer that comment but a. unlike the other comments that had to do with JK which he did answer, this one answer didn't come with a JK or jungkookie attached to it. It was short and he was done with it, and b. the way he looked away from the camera while saying it and repeating it once before just changing the subject was just so sus and felt like overcompensating.

Of course there are those that jumped at it like the dead feeders that they are. This must mean that they haven't seen each other. That JM isn't important to JK, etc. etc.

Funny how JM and JK don't see each other but are eating the same things for lunch, like Chicken breast and rice… or how they aren't seeing each other but JM somehow, magically, adjusted JK's mood lamp at JK's place…telepathy and telekinesis I guess. Oh, and did we discuss the sleeping patterns yet or the fact that they both happened to bring up the science mambo jumbo about sleep and dreams, almost word for word? But nope. They definitley aren't seeing each other and definitley aren't close. Also, for someone that is distanced they sure seem to be keeping up with each others lives. JM must be really bored to be sitting down and watching JK's long ass lives.

Moving on.

JM, being the king of evading answering whatever he doesn't want to answer, reads out comments asking about travel and tattoos, and decides those are topics he does not deem answer worthy, lol.

Do I talk about the goldfish lips? Nah, I don't wanna. Go watch!

Mashimaro

And this is JK way back in 2015 already.

JM assuming the position

So after saying he should do the next live lying down, cheeky thing that he is decided he's taking JK's sleeping live and raising him one, by taking us all home with him in his pocket, lol.

Although he took it all back. Yeah yeah, excuses excuses. So he can't fit 7 million into his place. Boo hoo. 3.5 million he can but 7 he can't. I do not accept such a cop out.

And then he was done, well more or less. Hungry, asking us for recommendations for food, and tired, he says his goodbyes and turns the live off.

But that wasn't the end of it. Nope.

Remember JM said he'd update us when he got home?

Well, he did. He came back to update us time after time after time.

And a comment too

Oh, and the next day as well.

Also interesting how that 5 and 8 found their way time after time into JM's posts and/or comments. 58 that happens to represent JK time after time.

At the end of the day what did we get from the live?

We got the rainy day fight - JM's perspective (muddled up timeline though, but I forgive him, getting old does make you forgetful, lol).

We got JM tell us he has seen JK's live, the one with him telling us his side of the rainy day fight and doing his G-Dragon impersonation, and I think we can assume he saw the sleeping live too.

I can't help but wonder if JM was reprimanded for commenting on JKs previous lives (you know with the shrimp, not really shrimp, comment and let me tie your hair), or perhaps he's just laying there enjoying watching his bf crush on him live.

We had JM call army and their comments cute. Funny, huh? How JK did that too?

Kind of interesting how the two seem to be saying the same things (the cute and the sleep talk), acting the same way, eating the same things.

I was going to add a clip and link here to JK's chicken breast eating tales, him cooking chicken breast with rice, him talking about eating chicken breast for lunch. Him eating healthy now days. Sounds familiar does it? JM talking about eating chicken breast for lunch, about eating chicken breast with rice. About eating healthy lately...

But damn Tumblr won't allow me. So you guys will either have to take my word for it (please don't), or go looking. You will see I am right...

For fun I will just leave you here with this:

Cause why not end this with an ear to ear smile on our faces?

#Jimin #JM #JM live #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jungkook #JK

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epickiya722 · 2 months

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I do not know if it was you, or another blogger that made a character analysis of Gojo that made me like the character and discover more about him through the manga.

While I never read the manga before or watched the anime, I had been exposed to it by my friends and some BNHA bloggers. Back then, I found Gojo to be overhyped (discount Kakashi) while liking the animation(?) style, bit still no interest.

BNHA and its Endeavour Redemption arc in the doing was tiring me to the point that I stopped reading it and manga altogether. For mayne six months or so, until now, at least. I randomly found your blog last week , and it got me a new hyper fixation 😃. You got me to start reading JJK (Megan cos playing also helps).

I bought Number 0 and Number 1 of the mangas. Only to remember midway in Number 0 that Walmart Kakashi will be snapped in two like a Kit Kat🥲. I saw that leak in one of the BNHA blogs, and I didn't mind it back then since I wasn't in the fandom, but Lord, now it sucks.

Anyways, all this long rant to say that I like reading your posts.

Gojo, rest in pain, I guess?

Probably was someone else, I don't write much analysis posts about Gojo. I think once or twice I did, I can't recall. Probably reblogged one though you saw!

I don't know, they're really just two different characters to me. Also... I was never really an active reader or watcher of Naruto like that (just very familiar) so when I first saw Gojo, Kakashi didn't register to me at all.

Like, I did not get similar vibes at all. And it actually annoys me that people will be like "He copied Kakashi's flow"! Kakashi ain't the only white haired, face covering character out there with magical eyes, y'all stop. 😆

Even funnier when, by this point, Gojo has probably been unmasked more than he has been wearing something on his face and switches up what he puts on his face. Kakashi been wearing the same mask for...? Also, didn't it take years for Kakashi's whole face to be shown or something? Took like seven episodes for Gojo to show that face.

I always been a fan of Megan's music and then when I found out she was into anime I was like "YYYYYEEEEEAAAAH". She cosplayed as Miruko one Halloween and it made my year. I am a former believer that Miruko would vibe to her music.

Just seeing other Black women being unapologetic fans of anime (or anything) does wonders for me and I hate it when people act as if it's such a foreign idea to understand. Honey, we can have interests, too, like everyone else. It's normal.

I always try to be careful about spoilers for anything I'm into. Like, I can talk about a chapter that happened two years ago, but I'll still mark as a spoiler because I know some people don't read Mangas or even if they do haven't caught up to that specific part.

That actually what set me off when Usher cosplayed as Gojo because he literally put "rest in peace, Gojo" or something along those lines and the amount of people who weren't even aware of 236... like bro, come on.

I knew it just had to be a marketing tactic because I know damn well Usher ain't seen JJK a day in his life and how convenient it is he comes out with that cosplay around the time when "Daddy's Home" becomes a fairly popular song used in Gojo's edits. I can't go watching one video on YouTube without hearing that song play when Gojo pops up. And even if he has... WHY WOULD YOU TAG IT LIKE THAT?!

Oh, but Megan definitely doesn't know any of the characters she be cosplaying, alright... okay... 🙄

I'm just going off on a whole tangent here, I apologize for that. I've been sick for like three days and just woke up from a nap. 😅

Also, thank you! Glad you enjoy my posts!! Anytime anyone says they like reading my posts, I still get shocked. They're really are just random thoughts I been having and really I'm still learning grasping the characters and story myself. And this is just for any. I don't even for them to get read, let alone for anyone to actually agree with me. I guess because, at the end of the day, I really just needed to throw a thought out there before I lose it or keep rethinking about it over and over.

#kiya answers #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #megan thee stallion

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levmada · 6 months

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2 month T update the day before

- finally gave in and got a haircut bc i had a mullet and the length was stressing me out (honestly expected tho bc i’ve always gotten sick to my stomach when my hair grew any longer than to my shoulders). and it actually went rly well. only two people were working and there was a lot of chatting, and i got called ‘man’ a lot (in the same way you’d call someone dude at the end of a sentence. that probably makes no sense but i’m tired asf rn so take it).

anyway it’s much shorter and looks rly good :3

- started packing a bit ago and that’s actually done wonders for my confidence. i think cuz it’s more like a harness you pack yourself instead of it being realistic

- this is so lame but i’m more engaged in class bc i’m always looking for any way to answer a question and use my voice. i’ve always been that type of person (chronic teachers pet disorder/j) but i always talked quietly and felt unsure of myself in a way i couldn’t explain until i started T

on that topic i think my voice dropped even more since last week. it’s honestly been crazy but maybe has to do with how much i’ve been training it. it’s unmistakably masculine./very pos

- uhmmmm so for many years now i’ve been dyeing my hair black when i’m a natural blond and i couldn’t ever explain to someone why other than ‘it looks better’ and i’m emo asf (don’t worry, that phase never ended for me) but it’s occurred to me since i’m getting the slightest littlest bit of facial hair that it’ll be a pain in the ass to dye it consistently and the idea of going back to blond doesn’t make me want to curl up and hide in a hole which is very shocking to me. i was very very set on dyeing my hair black FOR LIFE. i’m not rly sure why T has changed that. maybe it’s cos i associated blond hair w being a girl or i hated my appearance so much while… it’s getting much better now. i NEVER would’ve comprehended on my own that that preference was cuz of gender dysphoria

i still need to think abt it tho

- last week (?) i posted a voice comparison thingy and it sounded so good. turns out i posted it just in time for me to start sounding like a frog that just woke up and smoked a pack of cigarettes. it’s kind of annoying😩

- ACNE ALL OVER MY FACE

- growing a ton of hair like everywhere but especially my arms. like on my fingers too??? and like i mentioned already above my lip. which has all been rly nice

- started working out a bit ago to build muscle which has been good for my mental health :3 on top of T making it easier to gain muscle, but i haven’t done it long enough to see results yet LOL

- emotions are so weird. at my 1 month mark i rambled about it and here i am again :3 my bipolar 1-bpd-a bunch of psychotropic drugs combo makes my experience hyper specific, but i’m less of an intensely neurotic excitable crazy person.

before, i didn’t cry probably as much as a normal person but now it’s physically impossible. not in an emotionally constipated way, i FEEL sad, but it just doesn’t happen.

i feel emotions more mellow in general. but i’m probably more like your emotionally unavailable but well meaning older brother

- my feet have gotten bigger i stg bc my shoes which used to fit me just don’t. i have small feet for an afab person anyway :3

- i’ve noticed that my hips are slightly less curved but i couldn’t tell you where the fat has gone 🤷🏻

- i think that’s it for now :3333

not sfw under the cut

- still no menses :333🙏

- sex drive has evened out A LOT which has been nice

- bottom growth continues. random erections are like getting hit with a flash bang but it’s oddly gender affirming

#i GUESS i have some things to thank my dad for #😌#↱k.tm #trans #ftm

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faeriemarie · 4 months

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january 2nd-7th, 2024

been trying a bunch of subliminals and meditations recently so i’m just gonna review them all here in one giant post like i’m an influencer doing a haul. let’s get into it

1. this void method

utter and complete bullshit thank you very much. like it’s good at the beginning to get into the alpha state but the whole imagining scenarios thing does not work for me at all. which is actually so upsetting because i really really wanted this to work. whatever. so much for foolproof guarantees… though i’ll probably still use that little relaxation technique at the beginning just because it’s lowkey magic

2. my super top-secret subliminal that i gatekeep because i don’t want it to end up in the hands of shifttokers

amazing as always. i affirmed with it for 20 minutes and i was literally almost in my dr. like i could feel my surroundings change before a stupid alarm went off on my phone and i woke up. i don’t know why i keep deviating from this sub because it works so well. i just hate myself, i guess

3. this meditation

was feeling some symptoms and could feel the beginnings of my shift but then i literally fell asleep. guided meditations are not my thing and the next time i try one, someone needs to literally slap some sense back into me.

in conclusion, gonna go back to ol’ reliable today. best routine ever is top-secret subliminal, “i am pure consciousness” affs, “i am living in my ___ dr” affs, and an attempt that lasts 30 minutes max because anything that happens after the 30 minute mark is useless

ok c ya !! <3

#shifting diary ୨୧ #reality shifting #subliminals #desired reality #manifesting #shiftblr #shifting #manifestation #reality shift #shifting realities #shifting community

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farfromstrange · 11 months

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Butterfly Effect | Michael Kinsella x Reader

Masterlist

Chapter Three: Irish Coffee

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Barista!Reader

Summary: Your day has not been going well. When Michael comes in after closing time, in need for some coffee and a comforting presence, you help each other out. Or, you take yet another step toward Michael, hoping he will open up to you when you open up to him – and then you find yourself making an unexpected move.

Warnings: Angst, rude customers, mentions of injury, self-consciousness, Reader is sad, Michael is sad, alcohol consumption, hurt/comfort, fluff, suggestive language, kissing (18+ MINORS DNI)

Word Count: 5.6k

A/n: I’m starting to get obsessed with my own series, which is why I keep posting chapters in a span of 24 hours. The past two days it’s been 12:23 am and now it’s 1:47, but I can’t myself. This went well, I think. Reader does not give up, but Michael needs someone who refuses to give up, so… and he gives back what he gets.

Find Part 1 & Part 2 here…

There is something about today that doesn’t sit right with you.

It all started when you slept through your alarm. By the time you woke up, you knew you wouldn’t make it to work on time, which had never happened before. Then, you remembered that your car ran out of gas and the gas station near you was closed today due to a robbery that had taken place a few days ago, and you didn’t have the time to drive to the gas station out of town and neither did you have enough gas left for that. So you had to walk for thirty minutes. You arrived at the café sweaty and forty-five minutes late, and the worst part was that your boss had appeared out of nowhere and when you came in late, she yelled at you until you were basically on your knees and close to tears.

You thought that would be as worse as it gets, but you were wrong. A customer mixed up his order with an elderly woman and they ended up fighting, which inevitably led to you being blamed for something that wasn’t even in your hands at the time, and the man made sure to push his words as deep as he could like a hot cigarette on your already itchy skin. And the people that came in after that only seemed to get worse. A group of tourists found their way inside and since you are chronically under-staffed, you and Sarah could barely keep up with the load. You ended up with a dirty coffee maker, no more mugs to spare, and questioning your sanity.

The worst part of the day is what ultimately led you where you are now; you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom for your break after you tried to clean one of the tables and a customer accidentally bumped into you with their unfinished latte and the entire drink poured over your apron and has soaked the clothes you’re wearing underneath. You haven’t brought a spare shirt and the hair dryer you keep in the back isn’t working anymore. You’re stuck with a shirt that now smells like hazelnuts and warm milk, and you’re pretty sure your skin is red from the heat.

But it was an accident, you tell yourself, and even though the customer blamed you, you feel like they had every right to and you apologized to them, offered a coffee on the house, and wished them a nice day. You did the right thing. You should feel good about yourself for how you’ve handled yourself so far, but honestly, there is nothing good about the way you’re feeling now.

Tears well up in your eyes. The insides of your palms are covered in crescent moon indentations from your nails. Your back hurts, your stomach hurts, everything hurts, and you feel disgusting. You smell disgusting. No perfume in the world can fix the smell of your clothes and no towel can dry the coffee that has dampened your perfectly good blouse. You always keep a spare apron around, every employee has several in their locker, but that won’t do much because the fabric will continue sticking even long after it’s dry and you hate the way it feels so cold against your skin.

You sniffle. The first tear threatens to fall. You look up, your lashes fluttering as you try hard not to cry because of something so stupid, but everything you do feels wrong and you hate that. You always try to be the best, to make people feel good, and to serve them to the highest standard – you have been lacking today. You don’t want to be here and neither should you, not in your state, but there has got to be something you can do to fix this bad strain of karma.

You don’t want to cry. They’ll see that you’ve cried and that would only lead to unnecessary questions. Sarah will be worried. You don’t want to talk, you just want to go home. But you really can’t leave them hanging, not when the end is so near and you’re set to close the place on your own. You have to do better.

Even though none of this is anywhere near your fault, you put the weight on your shoulder anyway because you don’t know what else to do. It’s heavy and you can barely carry it, and you find yourself swallowing a broken sob as your fingers dig into the porcelain of the sink.

“No,” you growl to yourself. You ruffle your messy hair, brush the tears from your cheeks and try to shake it all off.

You have to get through the next couple of hours without breaking down.

So you change your apron, put on a fake smile, and make your way back out. The busyness has died down a little. You try to act as if nothing happened, tending to the other customers while Sarah starts cleaning up behind you. You try to focus on the smile of the woman you’re serving, but it somehow makes you want to cry again.

The stress of the day made you forget about Michael for a moment and the fact he hasn’t shown up yet, and you’re about to close. But you’re not sure if seeing him now would be such a good idea, considering you’re not in the mood to make someone feel better. Every time you smile, it feels fake, and it’s probably as obvious as it feels.

Sarah waves goodbye when her shift is over since she came in before you and your boss banned you to closing for coming in late. The clock strikes seven. The door falls shut behind your colleague. Still no Michael.

With a heavy sigh, you start putting away the lunch offer sign. You clean the counter and the machines. One of the mugs slips out of your hands and falls into the sink, breaking upon impact.

That’s the last straw. Your fist hits the kitchenette and you get on your knees, hiding yourself from an empty café, and then, with your forehead pressed against the back of your hands as you’re leaning forward against the sink, the tears start to fall. You silence your sobs, but the tears do a pretty good job of shaking you up as it is.

Today has been a little too much.

When the bell above the door rings, you realize you haven’t locked the front door yet and the sign is still turned on “open”, which is a stupid amateur mistake and you’re such an idiot.

You quickly wipe your tears. “We’re closed,” you try to sound normal, but your nose is stuffed.

“Is it seven already?”

You stutter, whipping your head around to look at him. “Michael,” you say.

“Hey,” he says, and this time it doesn’t take him long to give you a small smile. He looks almost apologetic, but then his eyes fall on your wet cheeks and his face falls a little. “Bad time?”

“We’re closed.” When have you become so harsh?

“Sorry.”

You shake your head. “No, I’m sorry, I– I just forgot to turn the sign. My bad. You couldn’t have known, so technically, I can still serve you. You just have to give me a minute to reheat the coffee maker.”

“Ya don’t have to do that, and ya shouldn’t,” Michael says.

You frown at him.

“Yer closed, so I won’t order a coffee.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“No,” he’s insistent, and he steps a bit forward. “Ya alright?”

It’s obvious that you’re not, but you are the last person to admit when you’re not feeling well. And it’s just been a bad day, you don’t even know why it’s been dragging you down ever since you got up this morning. The day is over now and you can move on.

Though this is the part where the optimist in you isn’t quite strong enough yet.

You meet his eyes with your reddened ones. “Are you?” you retort.

He’s surprised at your bold question. You expect him to push you away, to turn around and leave, or to lie to you, but he’s rather quick to lower his head guiltily and he says, “Ya want the short or the long answer?”

You shrug. “Both.”

“Yer busy–”

“I need a drink,” you cut him off.

“Oh,” he hums.

“Do you still want a coffee?”

“What’s that have to do with it?”

“Just answer the question.”

Michael nods. “Yeah.”

You reach into the drawer next to you and pull out the keys for the front door. You toss them to him. “Lock the door,” you say. “I’ll make us some coffee.”

Not just him, both of you. He eases when he realizes you’re doing something for yourself too, and he follows your command to lock the door.

Last night, Michael cried himself to sleep. He stared at your note on the napkin until the Sharpie was completely wet with his tears, and then he held it in his hands as he retreated to his bedroom floor. The bed is too soft most nights, he can’t sleep on it. The beds in prison were a lot more uncomfortable and he’s not used to the softer kind anymore. He needs something hard to lie on, and the floor often enough suffices.

The hard floorboards dig into his skin when he sleeps, and he’s no longer trapped by blankets when he wakes up from a nightmare. Sometimes, he even sleeps on the bathroom floor. It’s cold and it’s sturdy; it reminds him of a time when that was the norm, and it somehow still is, deep inside of him, and he can’t get rid of the feeling.

He woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of his labored breathing. Detached from his physical form, he stared at the wall with tears in his eyes. He thought about the bullet holes, he heard the shots clearly in his ears, and he turned deaf for a second. He couldn’t move.

He found himself next to the indentations in the stone, running his fingers over the holes. He imagined the blood splatter, the screaming, the pain, and the tears. It tore him to shreds, and he watched her die again. He lost his wife all over again and then he lost his daughter. It’s always the same, but this time, she died in his dreams, and it had never felt more real.

Washing cars for Amanda in the morning led to moments when he disappeared completely. The water was on for far too long; he probably multiplied the bills with how much he wasted, but once his mind is stuck, moving seems impossible. He challenged his anger into whatever equipment he had at hand, scrubbing the cars cleaner than they were ever before, but it didn’t help.

At lunch, he sat in the same restaurant down the street from Anna’s school again. He watched her walk with her friends, he watched her smile and laugh, and he felt relieved to see her alive. At least that part of his dream wasn’t true, but she was still too far away the same way she is now, and he can’t touch her. He isn’t allowed to hold her in his arms, to make sure she’s safe and protected. And that truly feels like he is losing her forever all over again.

He was washing cars until the last evening when Amanda physically had to pull him out and force him to go home, but Michael never made it home. Instead, he found the napkin in the pocket of his jacket. He tossed away the cup, but he has kept the napkin. The note is so much longer and he can hear you say the same words to him over and over again, and he wants to smile, he really does; he wants to find a reason to smile and he wants to believe he is a good man. So after Amanda told him to go home, Michael once again found his way to the same place that has offered him relief two times before, and he can’t be trusted with his thoughts on his own – this is the only way. You are the only escape, and he hates himself for being weak enough to seek something that he’s not even quite sure he deserves.

He should have figured you were closed. But then he heard the sound of your voice and saw the tears in your eyes and now he’s worried. He is intrigued but worried, and you seem like you don’t want him to leave either. You tell him to close the door, to close the bubble around you, and give you time and space just the two of you, and it warms his heart. You warm his frozen heart, and the concern drives him closer to you. He even takes his jacket off, his knuckles no longer bandaged but bruised, and he doesn’t pull away this time when you look at them.

But you don’t ask.

You pull the bottle of whisky from the fridge. He watches you carefully. The coffee maker roars as you brew a fresh batch and you foam some milk. You could do this with your eyes closed. Even tired, you know exactly what to do and how to do it, and now that the stress is gone, you don’t have to rush.

Michael keeps quiet until he hears you pour whatever drink you’ve made into two porcelain cups.

“It’s not a double espresso,” you murmur, “but I think you know and like this one.”

“What,” he chuckles, “no blue poison today? Or toffee nuts?”

You shake your head, the laugh dying on your tongue.

“I liked the blue one.”

“Then you’re gonna like this one, too.”

You remove your apron and lean back, watching him carefully as he takes a sip. His eyes widen as he recognizes the distinctive taste, but then he looks even more surprised when tastes the undertones in his coffee. “Wow,” he says. “That is one hell of an Irish Coffee.”

“You like it?” Your eyes grow hopeful.

“Like it? I fuckin’ love it.” He takes another sip. “What did ya– ya must be a wizard. No one can make Irish Coffee that good.”

“I’ve had some practice.”

“This is– wow.”

“You’re welcome.”

You stand there for a while, silently sipping your drinks. Michael is done first, but you follow shortly after. You take his cup and put it into the dishwasher, deciding to let it run one last time.

“Did ya do that just for me?” he dares to ask.

You shrug. “It’s better than a double espresso,” you say.

“Are ya always this nice to strangers?”

“You’re not a stranger.”

“I am.”

You turn away with a sigh. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yer so nice to people.”

“It’s my job.”

“But they’re not always nice to ya.” It’s not a question as much as it is an observation.

You shake your head slightly, reaching for the small shot glasses you keep hidden away in the cupboard.

“No offense, but ya sound like a real people pleaser.”

He hits the nail right on the head. You hate how obvious it is. Silence settles in between you. You don’t answer him, you simply place one of the glasses before him and pour some of the whisky you used for the coffee for both of you.

He nods in acknowledgment. “Don’t ya ever get… I don’t know, angry? At the world, I mean. Like ya just want to burn it down and leave nothin’ behind because it sucks and it hates ya. Or ya hate the world? Or both. Does that happen to ya?”

You take the shot, your fave barely contorting before you find the guts to answer. “I get angry,” you whisper, but it sounds more like you’re trying to convince yourself.

“I mean really angry,” he says, “like you could punch a lad twice your size and win.”

“Everybody gets angry.”

“Ya do?”

“Mhm, but I don’t hate the world. Most of the time, at least. Sometimes, I just have a bad day, but I’m trying… I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

He takes his shot and you pour another glass.

“Tell me,” he says. “I can tell ya’ve been crying.”

Of course, he can.

“I just want people to feel better around me, that’s why I’m nice because kindness goes a long way. Hatred… hatred doesn’t get you far. I’ve learned that the hard way and I… I just want to be good, so I try to be good, but sometimes it’s not enough, and that… that sucks because it always ends up being my fault anyway and that’s what makes trying so impossibly hard.”

“So yer a people pleaser,” he circles back to his previous statement, “but there’s nothin’ wrong with that. And that doesn't make shit yer fault all the time."

You didn’t expect to hear that.

“And yer good. Too good,” he says your name with such softness. “Ya managed to make me smile more than I’ve in a very long time. I wanted to say thanks fer that. I thought part of me… died. I've realized it's not dead, just buried."

“People usually call me a people pleaser and mean it in a bad way,” you say.

He smiles. “I don’t.”

“Yeah, I get that now.”

“So the world isn’t fair to ya, hm?”

You chuckle sadly. “It never was, but I’ve been worse and I’m somewhat happy now. I just–“

“Ya get walked over,” he finishes.

“Yeah.”

“And ya feel like yer not enough?”

You blink wildly to keep the tears at bay. “Yes.”

“Were ya being nice to me out of kindness or ‘cause ya care?”

“Both,” you answer in a heartbeat.

Your eyes meet again. He’s still the same magnet he was the first day you two met. He pulls you closer and closer, and you can feel yourself opening up to him.

Michael smiles, taking another shot and then taking it upon himself to fill your glasses.

“You’re different, Michael. I don’t know why, but you are.”

“I got yer notes,” the words slip him before he can stop himself.

You nod. “That’s what they were meant for.”

“No one’s ever said that to me before.”

“That you have a nice smile?”

“All of it,” he says.

“That’s… sad,” you say.

He shrugs. The whisky starts burning his esophagus. “My life’s sad.”

“But does it have to be?”

“If only ya knew.”

You decide to take another step toward him. “I quit my job to become a writer, and now I work here.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

You nod and start walking around the counter toward him. You’re so close again, he can feel your breath on his skin.

“I’ve been writing ever since I was a child,” you say. “But it’s never been more than a hobby to my family, and so they didn’t understand when I wanted to study English literature. I landed behind a desk and I was unhappy, and I wanted to write. I’ve been told I’d fail ever since I started writing, and my parents still tell me the same thing. They’ve never supported it, so when I quit and then took this job, you can imagine how thrilled they were. Not.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. "I'm sure yer great. Maybe they just don't get ya."

He can’t imagine what you’ve been through because your lives are so inherently different, but he can feel your pain. He knows what it's like not to be understood, and he knows how much that can hurt coming from your own family.

He reaches out, your fingers mere inches away from each other now.

“This was the first time I wasn’t trying to please anyone but myself,” you say, and your voice is barely above a whisper.

Michael nods, a silent sign of understanding, and then he takes your hand in his. “I wash cars fer a living,” he says.

You gave a big part of yourself and this is something he can tell you, even though it embarrasses him.

You look up into his eyes. “Cars?”

“Yeah. Fer my brother’s wife. You know the deli down by the gas station a little outside of downtown?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, there. She sells ‘em. She got me that job ‘cause I needed it. Now I wash cars.”

And getting a job with as many priors as he has is a hard task to achieve. But he knows he can be good at so many other things if he only tries. He just doesn’t have the same opportunities as everyone else, and that’s defeating.

“Is that what you want to do?” you ask.

Has anyone ever asked him that before? He doubts it. You surprise him anew every time, and he’s not sure how to process or handle it. Michael doesn’t know how to read you.

He doesn't answer your question in the way you want him to, either. “It’s what I have to do,” he says instead.

“Is that what happened to your hand?” there it is – the question. “An accident washing cars?”

“No, heh,” he takes another sip of his whisky. “Punched a hole in my mirror,” he says.

“Why?”

“I hate the world and the world hates me.”

You can see the unshed tears in his eyes, the pain he’s holding deep inside. He’s guarding himself for whatever reason, but his touch is warm and it screams for an escape. That’s the reason he came, you realize. He wants to escape whatever shit show his life is because, with you at the Butterfly Effect, he hates the world a little less. He doesn’t feel alone with you because while you don’t know him, you listen. You’re nice and you care about him. Judging from what he’s said, he’s not used to kindness or devotion, and it makes you sad.

You squeeze his hand. “Everyone deserves someone to care about them,” you murmur, “even you, Michael.”

“I get angry,” he admits, and the tears become clearer. “I get really, really angry.”

“As I said, everyone does.”

“It’s a different kind of anger. The kind of anger that runs deeper. It’s darkness.”

He expects you to pull away, but you only hold on tighter, and you catch the tear in the corner of his eye before it can fall. “And that’s okay,” you say.

He wants to fall into your arms and sob, but his pride is stronger. His pride wants him to suffer.

“There must be a reason you come here and not just wallow in your anger. I mean, you’re driven by something other than darkness because I don’t see darkness when I look at you. I see light.”

You’re not pushing him, you’re simply nudging him as gently as only you can, and if he decides not to act on it, you’re okay with that too. He doesn’t feel forced, he feels almost accepted.

“Why do you come here, Mikey?”

Mikey. This is the first time you use his nickname, and it sounds different coming from you. He likes it.

“I don’t know,” he admits.

It’s not just coffee and not just you, but he doesn’t know, not really – Michael doesn’t understand, and he hates that he doesn’t because he usually understands. Though this, he doesn’t.

“Okay.” You leave it at that, but you refuse to let go of his hand. “That’s okay.”

He intertwines your fingers, forming a safety net for his broken heart. They’re no longer on the counter now but dangling between the two of you. He’s holding you close, and his grip tells you that maybe he is afraid of letting go because he’s scared you might leave, which is absurd, but you quite like the way he’s holding onto you. You wouldn’t say no even if it killed you.

You move a little closer, your shoulders brushing. He looks down. His thumb brushes over your knuckles. “So soft,” he says.

You blush.

“Do ya have a car?”

“I walked here,” you say.

“Want me to walk ya home? It’s dangerous out there.”

“Who’s to say you’re not gonna murder me?”

He can sense the joking undertone in your voice and he chuckles. “Ya just need to trust me,” he says.

Weirdly enough, you do. Reluctantly, you let go of his hand. The rest of the cleaning is done easily. He helps you adjust the chairs in the seating area while you clean the coffee machine again, and after wiping the tables and adjusting the sign for the early shift the next day, there’s not much else you have to do.

You let out a sigh of relief when you finally breathe fresh air and all of the day’s pain is left behind inside.

Even though it’s a thirty-minute walk, Michael insists on walking with you. He doesn’t leave your side. Your hand finds his again after some time, and he reciprocates your touch instantly. You see nothing wrong with it. He makes you feel less alone, and you seem to be doing the same for him.

You walk in silence, the wind brushing through your hair and getting caught in the stain on your blouse. You didn’t bring a jacket this morning, too much in a hurry to get to work to even care about the cold weather.

It seems like a chliché when Michael suddenly untangles himself from you and takes off his jacket. “Here,” he says. He looks at you, leaving no space for you to argue, so you take his offer gladly.

You suspected he would smell like ground coffee beans, but his cologne smells like tobacco and vanilla, and the faintest scent of rain hits your nose. You slide it on, instantly feeling a little warmer, but you’re not quite sure if it’s the jacket or the flush of blood in your cheeks that makes your heart beat faster.

This time, your hands only brush as you walk.

“What happened to yer shirt?” He breaks the silence.

You pull his jacket tighter around yourself. “I–“ you bite your lip. “Work accident,” you say.

“Was it hot coffee?”

“A little.”

“Did you check if ya got burned?”

“It’s not the first time someone bumped into me, and they didn’t mean it,” you say, rushing to the defense of a total stranger, and that’s when you realize that perhaps he was right with the whole ‘people pleaser’ speech.

You shake your head. Michael has gotten under your skin. He seems to notice it because he smiles softly, and reaches out to take your hand again.

“Ya know what helps?” he asks.

“What?”

“An apron.”

“Fuck off!” You try to sound mean and furrow your brows at him, but you end up chuckling because damn him for looking so cute even while he also looks absolutely exhausted.

He joins in your laughter.

“Seriously though, I hope whoever did this to ya didn’t do it on purpose.” He avoids eye contact, but his words hit home.

“Or what, you’ll find them and break their hands?”

“Wasn’t thinkin’ about somethin’ so drastic, but they hurt ya and I don’t like the thought of ya gettin’ hurt.”

“What?”

“Nothin’,” he blushes.

That was a lot of vulnerability for such a short amount of time.

You look away just the same, trying to hide the effect he has on you, but he can feel your sweaty palms and how your pulse jumps under his fingers whenever he touches you. It’s no secret that you don’t see him as just a customer anymore, you never have.

But this is Michael, and as soon as things start looking up for him, he is bound to ruin them because how can he possibly accept what you are willing to give him? He cares about you, and he hates that he has found himself in this situation again. But he can’t deny that he needs you. Feelings are treacherous, as is love and everything else that connects to it. To him it is, at least. And he’s really not sure what to do or what to think. He just knows that he wants you to be okay.

You stop in front of your apartment building. “This is me,” you say.

The air shifts and the tension grows heavy. Your hand is still holding onto his, and you are still wearing his jacket. You attempt to take it off, but he stops you.

“Keep it,” he says.

“Aren’t you gonna be cold?”

“No.”

“But–“

“Ya still have a way to go, so keep it.”

You slip back into the jacket. “Okay. Thank you…”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you wants this to end, but it has to.

You clear your throat. “I guess this means goodbye then.”

“Yeah,” he says.

“Do you promise me to get home safe?”

“I’ll manage.”

“Okay.”

You turn around to leave. You take a few steps before stopping. He’s still there, waiting for you to get inside. You turn back to him.

Maybe it’s too much of a rash decision that is brewing up in your mind, but tonight has changed a lot. Your paths have crossed now. You’ve already crossed borders you told yourself not to. This isn’t you, this is a primal desire that drives you to take what you want and not give a flying fuck about pleasing someone else tonight, and it feels like you have finally learned how to breathe again.

He frowns when you walk back toward him. Your hands find their way on either one of his shoulders. Michael stares down at you. Your intentions aren’t entirely clear to him.

Fuck it.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to capture his lips with yours.

And when your lips finally meet, time stands still.

At first, he’s surprised. Your lips feel softer than he imagined, and they fit perfectly on his. It feels like you’ve done this a million times. His head spins. Then, he kisses back.

Michael’s arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer. It's a carnal desire, not his own free will. You feel so good pressed against him, and your lips are magic as they dance with his.

He’s convinced now that you are good at everything.

His tongue pokes your bottom lip, asking for permission. You let him in. He explores your mouth with precision, tasting you, memorizing you, and making sure you stay imprinted in his bloodstream. He breathes your air and you breathe his. The world around you no longer exists.

You are more than willing to suffocate at his hands with his lips on yours and his body so close, you can smell his shampoo and feel the softness of his hair under your fingers as you run them through the brown curls. He’s ethereal, absolutely beautiful, and he feels like heaven and tastes like the sweetest temptation that will land you in hell, but it is all so good, too good, absolutely perfect – he has put an irreversible spell on you, and his lips sealed the deal.

Though your body is quick to scream for you to pull away and breathe. It’s been a while since you’ve consciously used your lungs. You could get lost in him any day, your life be damned. If you’re right with your suspicions, you’re fucked anyway, but you don’t mind. Not with him. Not when it’s Michael.

You both pull away at the same time. His hand rests on your cheek, barely touching, but he’s sure to hold you there.

Without another word, you press another chaste kiss to his lips. He reciprocates.

“I should go,” your breathing is heavy as you speak. “I, uh, have an early day tomorrow.”

Michael nods, his nose brushing against yours. He’s going to regret tonight, but you’re by far his favorite sin. He felt free when you kissed him. It doesn’t seem real, but you’re still so close and he can taste your chapstick. You’re real, this is real, and you’ve caught him before he could fall.

But he’s going to regret it, he always does.

“Yeah, me too,” he whispers. “Early day.”

He has work in the morning, so it isn’t a lie.

You pull away completely, your cheeks flushed and your lips swollen. Now you don’t look cute anymore, you look absolutely edible, and Michael has to physically force his hands to stay where they are.

Scratching the back of your head, you desperately search for your keys. Once you’ve found them, you wave an awkward goodbye. “See ya,” you say.

He watches as you disappear behind the door to your apartment building, and a few seconds later, you’re gone.

You only allow yourself to register what happened once you’re in the comfort of your home, your back pressed against the door, and you slide down.

Damn.

You just kissed a man you don’t even know half of, and you enjoyed it.

Whoever Michael truly is moves into the back of your mind – his lips still linger and it’s what you will take to bed with you. Not the fact that you don’t even know his last name but his touch and his smile.

The day might have started badly, but you can’t deny that it ended with an unexpected surprise that made all the bad from before dissipating into nothing at all.

You wonder how many more times you have to take the first step before he will finally open himself up to you. But no matter what, you’re determined to find out.

Tagging: @bellaxgiornata @loveroftoomanyfandoms @acharliecoxedfan @lina-mar @itwasthereaminuteago @mattkinsella

#michael kinsella x reader #michael kinsella x you #michael kinsella angst #michael kinsella fluff #michael kinsella #kin amc #no y/n #coffee shop au #butterfly effect #reader insert #angst #hurt/comfort #fluff

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sky-is-the-limit · 7 months

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As a fellow the last of us/call of duty enjoyer, I have to ask. Price or Abby 🤔 *I wasn't gonna ask anonymously but after this question you probably would've blocked me*

Who are you, and why are you my no1 enemy

Reveal yourself. Traitor.

I think I answered a similar question ages ago you little shit but LISTEN.

Price has me in a chokehold. I'd let this man use me in any way possible whenever he wanted, however he wanted. His voice? Barry Sloane? I'm down BAD. My favourite CoD character and def top 5 fictional characters that OWN my ass. I finish myself to sleep with him in my head <3

I think you know what's coming, right?

The absolute shock my body went into when I first laid eyes on that woman. I couldn't physically think about ANYTHING but her, my only friend who has played tlou and is a Joel fanatic, who absolutely hates Abby, let me RANT to them about Abby non stop for days because they had never seen me this obsessed with someone before.

When I'm telling you she's probably the hottest character I've ever come across in both video games and fictional characters in general, I'm not joking.

Whenever I read smut about any character, Price included, she literally fucking creeps in my head and I end up reading about her cause that's how insanely down bad I am for Abby fucking Anderson.

She woke things in me that I never knew existed. You got your size kink from a big buffy masked man? Great. I developed it from HER. I never had a thing for tall, muscular people until I saw HER.

Even if I post more about CoD nowadays , it's my hyperfixation and the games I play the most, know that Abby Anderson is always my no1.

Mate, I'd choose Abby Anderson over any man, no questions asked. Like the second I saw her golfing Joel's head away who I fucking adored, I chose her over a man.

Idk, maybe I'm a walking talking bisexual stereotype, but I have enough thirst for both. However if it was a life or death kind of thing, I'd choose my girl.

Would not complain if Price and Abby got to share me 3 days a week tho and 1 to take turns. This is them fighting over me when I'm maladaptive daydreaming:

#ask #abby anderson #captain price #tlou2 #cod #call of duty #the last of us #abby tlou #john price #abby anderson smut #captain price smut #bisexual

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lynnthefrenchtoast · 1 month

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Lines from "In The Other Universe" that I CANT GET OVER

in which a fanfic writer (me) overexplains her oneshot bc I NEED TO RAMBLE AND MY IRLS FOLLOW ME ON EVERY OTHER PLATFORM SO TUMBLR IS ALL! I! HAVE!

(u should prob read it first this wont make sense otherwise)

"Even though it was not his name, Yin Yu turned"

i dont know if this is a canon scene or not (sue me the books are LONG and hard to buy in my country) but i've read about yin yu getting mistaken for yizhen and getting totally upset. so i decided to start this fic with him being so okay with it that he responds to qi ying's name as if it's his own.

(also because if ur so close to someone, ur nosy abt their business because it also becomes your business) I WANTED TO CONVEY THAT CLOSENESS FROM THE VERY FIRST LINE

"Should I tell Yizhen you can't even recognize me?"

CANON YIN YU IS SO GLOOMY AND HONESTLY WE UNDERESTIMATE HIS POTENTIAL TO BE TEASY. i just know he could be. all hard workers have a sarcastic inner voice

"The man damn near shits his pants"

AHAHHA okay look. i have this tendency when writing to be REALLY PRETENTIOUS AND FANCY. and ive learnt that usually NO ONE GIVES TWO SHITS. compared to genshin, tgcf fanfics are so beautifully written and sometimes i gotta remind this fandom to SPEAK INFORMALLY (unless its qi rong. then. yea. BUT WHO READS QI RONG FICS?)

"The blank wrist that has never known the kiss of cold metal"

I RIPPED MY OWN HEART OUT WITH THIS ONE

"In this universe, he discovers it's such a simple thing to be happy."

proof that quanyin is literally hualian's cousin

the entire earring scene

i am a sucker for qyz's over-attachment to the earrings. ik a lot of ppl think he's like this because its the only thing yin yu ever gave him but NO headcanon that even in the other universe, yizhen would be overly attached because hes a puppy

he xuan scene

canonically, he xuan would NEVER. bc 1) he's too lost in his own ways to ask for advice and 2) it would fuck with his earth master disguise too much. but since it's the other universe!!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

“Yizhen’s victory is my victory,” he declares, with a tone that leaves no room for argument. “His loss is my loss. When Yizhen cries, I am sad. When Yizhen smiles at me, my heart is so full it could burst.” He brings two jade white palms together, interlocking the fingers like entangled limbs on a hot summer morning. “We’re like this. One shared past; one shared future. As a Shixiong, don’t you think rather than being jealous, I’m extremely proud of how far he’s come?”

my favourite freaking line can you tell? IT SHOWS THEIR ABILITY TO ROOT FOR ONE ANOTHER. SHOWS EMPATHY. SHOWS LOVE. ("my heart is so full it could burst") THE RECALL TO THE MORNING THEY WOKE UP TOGETHER, REMINDING YOU OF DOMESTICITY AND SIMPLICITY AND TRUST AND CLOSENESS.

ONE SHARED PAST; ONE SHARED FUTURE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? this is all i ever wanted for them. to be able to grow together and live together and die together. TO HAVE A SHARED PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.

this line is also loaded to me bc i once wrote a fic called "entangled pasts; estranged future" that wasnt good enough to be posted but GOD IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF IT

"Here, he never needs to know the weight of a mask – neither physical not metaphorical."

i dont like how i worded this but IT NEEDED TO BE SAID. YIN YU NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR THE WANING MOON MASK but more importantly NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR A MASK TOWARDS QUAN YIZHEN. NEVER NEEDS TO HIDE RESENTMENT. im shaking with all they couldve been and didnt become.

"Here, Brocade and Immortal are just two words"

hear that? its the sound of me BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AAAAAA I SO DESPERATELY WANT THIS TO BE REAL i mean i understand if they werent so tragic i wouldnt love them as much but IT HURTS! (*100 teehee)

"Sure it will."

i actually hate myself why did i end it like that even in my fanfic i cant let them be happy. huh. i have to subtly hint that this isnt what happens.

its actually so upsetting that the whole fic is so nice and healing and all of it is just overcasted by this knowledge of "its not real. they never get to be this happy. what really happens is they resent each other and leave each other and they become one shared past; two estranged futures."

you can call me insane. im aware no one thinks this deeply about fanfiction and most people are on the site for smut. BUT I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT SO YOURE FORCED TO LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE

#fanfiction #tgcf #quanyin #hualian #heavens official blessing #heaven official's blessing

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myheartalivewrites · 7 months

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Weekend WIP Game

Thanks for tagging my @kiwiana-writes @cha-melodius and @daisymae-12!

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

1. WIP List: I'm definitely a one-at-a-time sort of person. I hate having unfinished WIPs hanging about, it stresses me out. That said, I've got three docs with a substantial number of words in them:

[Dark and Stormy]

[Provence] (more here)

Oxford Nights

AND there's one more WIP I've finished working on and am hoping to start posting tomorrow (ahem ahem ahem) which is not on that list but I’m counting anyway

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

[Provence] at nearly 14k

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Probs that one, I don’t think I’m even halfway through with it! It’s not going to be long-long though

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Oh God, I don't know. I've not worked on [Dark and Stormy] for a while, that's the one I'm most looking forward to getting back to

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Lol, right now [Dark and Stormy] is intimidating bc I want to change the whole beginning of it. That's why I've been putting it off for oh... nine months 😬

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

The one that's gonna start posting tomorrow? Mainly bc I'm worried it's too much like a devil's threesome, even though no women are involved lol

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

Again, tomorrow's one, which is called Twice the speed (of you and me) by the way! I've asked a couple of people to read it through for me.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

Sometimes, yeah. Mainly when I try and work stuff into the plot that I'm not that interested in or that requires a lot of world building. I've started following the Matthew Lopez philosophy about it: if it's not about Alex and Henry, it has to go. It's certainly what happened with Deep Blue, and that's how I got myself out of being blocked, by limiting anything that wasn't specifically about them.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

Oh, [Provence] has a character in it who I really love, she's an old friend of Arthur's, an actress in her sixties all glamour and graceful ageing, who loves Henry like a parent. Though, weirdly, she's what's got me a bit stuck on it, because I have all these ideas for what I want from her but can't quite bring myself to do the world building that comes along with that 😂

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Hah, lol. The threesome. Is the fandom ready for it? We'll see.

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Dunno, actually. Maybe [Provence], just because Alex is having his bisexual awakening and feeling all jealous at Henry's sluttiness. It's not ACTUALLY angsty though.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Yikes, what a question! All of them, my characterisation is perfect, no notes etc.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Oooh I love the [Provence] one. It's all lush, some super rich people's home, but with a touch of south of France rustic to it.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

🤷‍♀️ don't think I have an answer for this one

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Again, just... 🤷‍♀️ I always wonder about the really smutty ones, I fret over them the most and then they turn out to be really popular so...

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Not really, though they do keep me awake at night. I woke up this morning at like five and just HAD to check on the beta feedback.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

Nah, not really. I mean, threesome mechanics? That's new, I suppose

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

God, no, not this question. I have zero confidence on my ability to make things funny. Like, I know there are funny bits in there, but... Oxford Nights has funny bits with Alex and Henry trying shit out I guess.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Nah

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Okay, so: in one of them Henry owns a cow named MARY 😁

Tagging a meagre 4 peeps for my 4 WIPs ✌️ : @14carrotghoul @suseagull04 @happiness-of-the-pursuit and @whimsymanaged to overshare on the dash, thanks!

#wips #tag games #my writing #about me #wip #wip weekend

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thestalwartheart · 5 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @aniron48 ❤️ This was such a nice way to wrap up this year, and to remember what I'd written!

Tagging @cicerfics @dixkens @dassandre-00qpidsarrow @boffin1710 @samanthahirr and whoever else wants to play along!

Answers under the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 82! I feel like I blacked out and blinked and woke up with a horrifying number of fics!

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 385,997 😨

3. What fandoms do you write for? James Bond mostly. Also Glass Onion/Knives Out. I don't write for The Witcher anymore, but I have in the past. On my laptop is a lot of unfinished Star Trek fic - mainly Kirk/Spock - and a crack at some Arthur/Eames (from Inception).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

being with you (is the best of all)

date, interrupted

the places you leave in the dust

a rank above

by any other name

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do try to, and I mostly succeed. I like to thank people for investing their time with my work, and I also like getting to know people in fandom. There's still 100+ comments I need to get back to, and some of them are very old. I will get to them though!!! I promise!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Anything involving the MCD tag. There was also a short called garden that was very sad for other reasons.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Either being with you (is the best of all) or dispatches from the division.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really, though I've had a few rude comments and bookmark notes. One person let me know across three chapters that they hated my characterisation of Bond so much they were tempted to rewrite the ending! But most people are lovely. The Bond fandom is small and most of us have our heads screwed on the right way.

9. Do you write smut? Frequently and without shame. There are 29 E-rated fics in my backlog for your reading pleasure.

10. Do you write crossovers? I have a Knives Out/James Bond crossover series where Bond and Blanc are detectives competing for Q's attention.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes and I am endlessly grateful for people who are more talented with languages than I am ❤️

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Just a team poem for 007 Fest, though I have worked with beta readers.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Kirk/Spock forever.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I had a multiverse fic I posted a chapter of that I don't think I have the energy for anymore. I was so undecided about the ending that I lost interest in writing it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm good with characters and details. My writing has been called immersive by a few people, and I do really pride myself on building atmosphere. I think I can turn a good phrase occasionally too!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I need to get better at proofreading for typos. I'm quite lazy with plotting and planning as well. I definitely need to work on that for an original novel I'm writing!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I only do it if it's necessary, and I'm so glad AO3 now has a hover feature for immediate translation. One of my pet peeves at uni was how often scholars used random French and Latin words or phrases when they didn't need to!!!

19. First fandom you wrote for? HP, probably. Or Glee. Those fics have been purged from the internet now 😂

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Either dispatches from the division or the WIP I'm in the process of posting now, called the age of change.

Shout out to everyone who has made it to the end! As a reward, please enjoy this picture of my cat flopped over in her cat tree ❤️

#my fic #ask meme

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dr-aegon · 2 months

Note

Hello, my sweet Shay! Just woke up and saw the weirder asks post so: 1, 5, 9, 11, 23, 31, 46.

Answer whichever ones you want. ily 💖

thank you for the ask, my love!!! 🥰💕

1. who is/are your comfort characters)?

right now it’s aegon ii. (i know, what a revelation 😂) i tend to go for the characters with similar attributes to mine or totally opposite. something about aegon stirs my guts so much. and as much i hate myself, seeing a character harboring similar qualities to me gets me hooked. psychologists? what is your take lol

5. what color are your eyes?

deep brown, near black. oh i used to HATE my eye colors, but now i don’t care anymore.

9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

‘iced americano’ all the way, babyyyyy!!! i know this is an abomination for a lot of europeans and it’s very much korean thing, but nothing quite beats this in terms of waking you up violently to face the days.

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

i am thoroughly introverted, so i never liked any ‘activities’ 😂 but i liked to do volunteer works for various of causes.

36. how many times have you changed your url?

at least 5 times, on tumblr alone 🫠

46. favorite holiday film?

the first harry potter movie. i know i know… but that movie has my soul, what can i do?!

ilysm my dearest!! i had so much fun answering!! 💗💘

#ask games #answered

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eoieopda · 1 year

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i’m going to discuss this one (1) time in full and then i will no longer devote my time, energy, or blog space to this topic. i simply cannot be assed to keep having this conversation. i will continue to block these anons as they pop up. in fact, i'll see y'all in a minute when you inevitably come calling.

here’s the tldr for anyone who is curious but does not have the capacity and/or desire to continue seeing this shit*.

*i have neither, and yet this is somehow still not over??

this whole thing is both buffoonery and goonery. i am so, so tired.

the people doing this are more concerned with hurting M and M’s friends than they are with their allegations of racism.

it’s gross as hell that people have misappropriated and devalued what could’ve been a meaningful discussion about an important topic... to instead shit on people they don't like.

i see you, besties 👀

tw: racism as written by white creators & as i have personally experienced (examples of micro-aggressions, racist messages i’ve received, etc.,) anonymous messages, harassment, cyberbullying.

p.s. i recognize that this is an exercise in futility and that literally nothing will convince these people to stop. i also recognize that saying something will probably make things worse for me. that's a problem for future jade™️, though, because present jade™️ is on one.

as we’re all aware, somebody is engineering an anonymous hate train against some of the writers on this site. these anons have been in their feelings (and the inboxes of writers, hate blogs, their own vagueposts, etc.) for weeks.

for what is probably the 100th time: my opinions are my own. i speak for myself, loudly and exclusively. not everyone is going to agree with me; that’s fine. my problem is not — and has never been — that people have different opinions than i do about the things i’m about to discuss. i’ll get into that later.

where it started:

an anon sent a message to a tea blog (read: hate blog) about M, who is white. the anon’s stated issue was that M included a depiction of racism/xenophobia in a chapter of a fic; and anon didn't feel that they should have. the position they took (if it existed in a vacuum) was valid and within their right to take. the way they went about all of this (by posting on a hate blog? in the year of our lord 2023?) was — in my opinion — sus as hell.

and that was before we all figured out what was happening here.

my position on white ppl writing about racism:

if a white writer can’t depict nuance or demonstrate any meaningful understanding of the issues they want to discuss, it’s my opinion that they have no business doing so.

for example: i’ve seen stories by white writers in which BIPOC react exclusively with violence or harsh words when confronted with racism. this, to me, is an “orange flag” because actual BIPOC have to do a lot of calculating in these situations. sure, the impulse to hulk out is there, but so is the risk that our immediate safety would be compromised further by hulking out. if that ^ kind of consideration isn’t fleshed out, i have a problem. when i see that ^ in stories, it tells me that the writer is not viewing the events they’re writing about through the lens of someone who actually experiences them and has not done their due diligence.

when i read racism as written by white authors, i primarily look at four things:

is the racist action depicted believable, or is it clear that the writer has absolutely no clue what they’re trying to talk about & made no attempts to learn?

does the inclusion of racism make sense in the context provided, or was it included for nefarious purposes (shock value, wokeness points™️, etc.)?

is there inclusion of the characters’ race, ethnicity, and/or culture in the fic outside their experiencing racism, or is that the only representation we get?

how do the characters process/react to this racism?

important context:

at the time i read the fic that sparked this whole ordeal, i’d just “met” M. this was around the time we became mutuals and started getting to know each other. all that to say, when i read this fic and formed an opinion on it, that was done as a reader, not a friend.

not as an “ass-licker,” “boba liberal,” worshipper of whiteness, and/or whatever else these anons have called me, either.

my opinion on the fic/situation hasn’t changed now that we are friends. if anything, getting to know M as a person (and not just as a writer whose fics i liked) has reinforced my opinion. regardless of what these anons have said, the M i know is a deeply empathetic and supportive friend. they consistently uplift me — and others — and make me feel seen/heard.

the only people who are indicating otherwise haven’t publicly identified themselves or stated any basis upon which their opinions (or borderline obsessive behaviors) are founded.

for what it’s worth, none of them that i’ve seen have even claimed to be asian. this will become relevant in a moment.

my position on the fic in question:

i'm a korean immigrant living in the united states. the chapter in question showed racism experienced by korean people in the united states. i'm qualified to make up my own damn mind about this.

i didn't have a problem with it, based on that four-part analysis i described up yonder. here's why:

(1) the depiction was of something i personally experience on a semi-frequent basis. in my life, racism often takes the form of micro-aggressions, as was the case in the chapter.

for example: being compared to people i look nothing like and/or aren’t korean simply because they’re also asian; people rolling their eyes when i correct the pronunciation of my (obviously) asian name like it’s not worth their effort; and tokenism/fetishizing, as if i’m a collectible item based on where i was born and not a full-fledged human being who is many things beyond simply being korean.

in my opinion, M’s portrayal of this more “subtle” racism (aka no slurs, no violence, etc.) was believable. to me, them making this choice demonstrated an understanding of what others experience, despite not experiencing it themselves.

(2) the scene made sense to me in the context of the chapter. bts encountered racism when they broke into the US, and the characters were in the US for an award show. frankly, i appreciated the acknowledgment of how asian immigrants/international tourists are treated in america because it’s not something i noticed non-asian people pointing out at all until COVID hit.

(3) the MC is a reader-insert who lives in korea and speaks korean. yoongi is obviously korean. the racism/xenophobia experienced by the characters in this chapter is not the only time i saw these things depicted in this series. importantly, the other references to korean culture were thoughtfully made, and they were either neutral or positive, not negative. the conclusion i came to was that M took this seriously, as they should have.

(4) the reaction of the characters is one i frequently have (not engaging, walking away) and i think it was communicated well in this scene why they reacted the way they did.

this was significant to me.

reading that, i got the impression that M had discussed this with BIPOC in their life and listened when they shared their experiences. that impression turned out to be accurate, though i didn’t have confirmation of this at the time i read the fic.

(conclusion) if i thought that any of these four things weren’t handled well, i would’ve brought my thoughts to M directly because it is important that these conversations happen. it’s also important that white writers listen. from where i’m standing, M has been open to those conversations with others, on or off anon. i believe that they do take this feedback to heart; and that they were taking steps to remedy those things — prior to being bullied off the platform at the end of april.

why ✨ i ✨ have a problem

i’ve discussed this issue already here, but i’ll elaborate further.

i have no reason whatsoever to believe that these anons are/were looking for changed behavior or remedial action because they continued to harass M — on M's blog, through the hate blog, and on the blogs of literally any person who has so much as perceived them — when M was addressing the issue. based on that, i have serious doubts that these anons care about the issue of racism the way they purport to. worse, they’re now harassing BIPOC in their inboxes and on the aforementioned hate blog.

on park jimin's internet, no less!

i haven’t spent much time discussing the substantive issue (hence this post) but have been very vocal about how shitty the anons’ behavior is. again, see here for the only take i’ve posted thus far (spoiler alert: cyberbullying is bad.)

for reasons that aren’t clear to me, that take resulted in metric ton of shit in my inbox. here’s a small sampling of what i've been forced to read with my own two (2) eyes in the past 24 hours:

*i did not include screenshots of other users’ inboxes in which anon messages reference me, or untagged submissions on the hate blog that very clearly allude to me.

at some point ?? they were mad about racism ?? but now the racism ?? is calling from inside the house ??????

and one last thing before i go touch grass….

i have reason to believe that this entire situation was orchestrated by small people with big feelings about M as a person, not about what they wrote. that’s not my story to tell, though, so i won’t.

when this shit kicked up, the majority of us who were/are being harassed installed IP trackers on our blogs because the identity of these people was suspected but not confirmed. that means we can see who they are, what they do on our blogs, and how many times per day they view our blogs (hint: a lot). we know that they are jumping from one blog to another as if they’re stopping on a goddamn mail route.

some of us (myself included) have alerts set to notify us via email when they pop by for a visit.

their presence on my blog this week lines up with the hostile and blatantly racist anonymous messages i’ve been receiving. i don’t think that’s a coincidence.

they’re either the ones sending them, or they’re lurking to see if/how i react to these messages.

that’s categorically fucked up.

#jade speaks #jade engages in discourse #psa #tw racism #tw harassment #tw bullying

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xavieryaa · 5 months

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Making My Own Tumblr Year In Review

So tumblr is not doing the individual years in review for 2023 like they did the last couple of years :(

This is the first year I’ve really been active on Tumblr and used it as my primary social media, so I was really sad to hear that. But then I decided…why not do it myself?

I posted 1837 times in 2023. That’s 5 times per day.

1748 (95%) of my posts were reblogs, and 89 (5%) of my posts were original.

Blogs I think I reblogged the most? Not in order.

@yipeewahoo

@hoodie-sys

@94erz

@namchyoon

@heybaetae

These are just based on me cmd-f'ing my blog using the names of blogs I remember reblogging a lot. It's probably wrong.

My top 15 most used tags (not 5 because i love tagging and want to show more):

#bts - 1045 posts (yeah obviously)

#bts pics - 803 posts (yeah obviously x2)

#queue attack my heart - 691 posts

#memery - 312 posts

#namjoon - 308 posts (i am so mentally ill)

#hoseok - 167 posts

#jungkook - 166 posts

#seokjin - 138 posts

#jimin - 138 posts (i wrote down seokjin's tag first so i put it higher)

#yoongi - 119 posts

#fic & writing - 108 posts

#taehyung - 103 posts

#bts birthdays - 99 posts

#serious posts - 92 posts

#namjoonposting - 59 posts (my favorite tag)

By the way this was so fucking annoying to do. The archive does not show how many posts you have in a certain tag. For every month I counted the amount of rows in a tag, multiplied it by 8, and added in any rows that didn't quite get up to 8. Then I added all those months together. I had to do that for every tag. Tumblr why is there no easy way to see the number of posts in a tag.

My top 5 posts of 2023:

5. Luffy Tab - 20 notes

Still can't believe we just. got a luffy tab. i just woke up and had a luffy tab

4. BTS Post Search - 27 notes

As it turned out. the poster changed their name to something else so that's why i couldn't find the post from tumblr user soupmoths -- they were an entirely different person. oopsie

Also I ended up being able to reblog it! Someone tagged me!

3. 3D Rant - 32 notes

This post got me my first hate reblog <3

In case anyone is wondering. I still agree with everything I said here.

2. Porn - 99 notes

Not doing the big link preview for this one since that on its own is kinda nsfw. Minors don’t click that link.

But yeah. That makes sense.

Even though there’s only 5 reblogs people find it semi-frequently (especially the past few days, no idea why), so I guess it’s spreading somehow? Which makes me happy :)

The Reddit Post - 2.1k notes

Obviously that was going to be it lol, over 20 times the amount of notes than anything else. My notifications were Dying.

Also, this stuff wasn’t in the actual Year in Review(s), but I’m adding them in for fun.

I liked 21k posts in 2023.

I followed 426 blogs in 2023 (not including the accounts I unfollowed).

I gained 69 followers in 2023 (excluding porn bots and regular bots). Nice.

I started 4 blogs on this account, 1 main blog and 3 side blogs.

I gained 15 mutuals in 2023 <3

All this data was as of December 18th, 2023.

#xavi.txt #tumblr year in review #year in review #diy year in review #tumblr year in review 2023 #year in review 2023

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floralhuqzz · 12 hours

Text

Sexual tension (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader) smut

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Warning: smut, degradation, choking, petnames, virgin reader,, DONT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18🔞

🦇author: the edit thats in this post is not mine,, all credits to crystalcaskle on tiktok!!! :) I also apologize if theres any misspelled words english is not my first language!

♱

I woke up around 7 am when i decided to make myself some breakfast before i start streaming,, ive started youtube 1 year ago, around that time when i met Johnnie. Ive been living with him and Jake for the past 3 months and honestly its been going pretty good.

“whatcha’ making?”

“oh god dont scare me like that!” i slightly punch him in the shoulder

“sorry sorry.. it smells really good” he puts his arm around my shoulder and i blush.. i had a crush on him since when we first met

“you want some pancakes?” i look at him

“yeah, thanks” he pats my head, making my hair look like a mess

“i hate you” i roll my eyes

“you love me” he laughs as he sits down

‘i do..” i thought to myself

i make some coffee and more pancakes as i sit down next to Johnnie.

“are you doing something after?” he asks me while he keeps eating his pancakes

“yeah..i have to stream right now,, but im free afterwards” i smile

“wanna go out?” he finally looks at me,, he looked so beautiful,, his blue beautiful eyes.. his makeup he forgot to take off before bed that somehow still looked good on him.

“yeah..i would love to” i smile a little

i stand up

“i better go now, ill see you in 2 hours johnnie” i smile as i walk to my room

1 hour later*

i started streaming and i decided to react to some videos that my followers sent me,, they were usually sending edits of me or they will even sometimes send me memes. They all kinda supposed i had a crush on Johnnie, i just didn’t want to say anything just yet. They will sometimes send me edits of Johnnie and see my face turning red.

As one of my followers sent me this edit

When i watched that edit i said something that i will be definitely regretting later

“i volunteer..*cough* i mean what?..” i laugh

“WHAT DID SHE SAY” “DID WE HEAR THAT RIGHT?” “SHE JUST SAID I VOLUNTEER” “TELL ME THAT SOMEONE CLIPPED THAT”

“chat you are all crazy” i laughed

after another hour i decided to end the stream as i said my goodbyes

i walk to the living room as i see Johnnie sitting on the couch looking a bit serious

“you okay there?” i chuckle

“i need to talk to you”

oh no.

“yeah what is it?”

“mind explaining me this?” he shows me a clip of my reaction to that one edit on my stream

"oh um." i blush as i look away

"hm?" he stands up and walks towards me "cat got your tongue?"

i didnt say anything. i just stared at the floor

"i asked you something" he puts his hand on my chin

"it- it was just a joke, you know?" i chuckle awkwardly as i felt like i was about to pass out from embarassment

"it didnt seem like a joke to me" he stares at me

"yeah umm..." i start to walk back as he started to walk towards me, almost like trying to intimidate me

"whats wrong?" he smirks

"n-nothing" i finally bump into the wall behind me

"if you wanted to get fucked by me you couldve just said so"

"w-what?"

"dont play dumb"

"i-im no-" he grabs my neck

"lying to me wont get you anywhere" he stares at my shirt as he starts to put his hand inside my shirt

"j-johnnie what are y-" i could literally feel my heart beat racing by the second

"dont tell me you dont want this” he now started to kiss my neck

i felt like i was literally about to pass out from how hot i was in that moment. i couldn’t believe this was actually happening,,

“come here” he picks me up in bride style and sets up on walking to his bedroom,, he opens the door and throws me to his bed as he climbs on top of me

“fuck,, i wanted this for so long..” he starts to take off my shirt,, i felt hot between my legs

he started to kiss my stomach going down my hips. he slowly took off my pants and threw them on the floor

“johnnie wait!” he stops

“whats wrong? did i go too far??” he looks at me worried

“no no…its just that…its my first time..” i blush

“oh…” he smirks “ill make you feel good alright baby?,, you just have to trust me with this okay? can you do that for me?” he caresses my thigh. i nod as he then continued what he was doing earlier. he starts to kiss my chest going down my stomach, and finally reaching down to my panties.

“can i?” he started to kiss my inner thigh

“mhm” i nod

he slowly started to take off my panties as he then began to slowly eat me out. I’ve never in my life had been touched this way by anyone,, and knowing that the first person to take away my virginity was johnnie, it relieved me. i started to whimper as he suddenly started to go faster. his tongue was reaching all the right spots.

“fuck-“ i whimper as i felt him moan, sending vibrations to my core which gave me even more pleasure. i look down as i see him staring at me as he kept eating me out “johnnie fuck i-“ i moan

“come on baby, be a good girl and cum on my face” him calling me a ‘good girl’ sent me shivers down my spine.

“oh god oh god oh god-“ i throw my head back as i came

johnnie looks at me and caresses my thighs once again.

“you did so good baby..” he gets up and starts to kiss me. I see him unbuckling his pants.

“do you want this?” he asks

“yes…yes i do” i was so turned on by now that the only thing i wanted was him..and only him

“you will have to beg for it or ill leave you like this…needy…and you dont want that right princess?” he smirks

“n-no…” fuck he knew what he was doing. He waits for me to continue

“p-please johnnie..” i whimper as he lined himself to my entrance

“you can do better than that..” he looks at me dead in the eyes

“please johnnie i want your dick inside of me..” i beg,, i felt so embarrassed but turned on at the same time

“thats a good girl” he gets inside of my without a warning as i moaned from the sudden feeling

“for how long you’ve wanted this y/n? hm? tell me.” he began to move

“for a l-long time..” i moan, it felt like i was on cloud nine

He started to thrust harder and faster,, i felt like i was about to cum.

“j-johnnie i-im~” i whimpered and he put his hand on my leg and place it on his shoulder for better access which made the feeling 100 times better

“i know baby i know…fuck y-you feel amazing” he thrusted faster, “come on princess cum with me��” he moaned as we both cummed. We started to breath heavily,, with our hair sticking to our foreheads because of the sweat,, messy hair and red face but he still looked beautiful

“youre absolutely gorgeous..” i blush at his sudden comment

“i dont know if this is the right time but…i really like you..” he confesses

“i like you too johnnie…ive liked you for a very long time..” i smile at him as he kisses my forehead and we both fall asleep in each others arms.

#fanfic #johnnieguilbertxreader #johnnie guilbert #smut

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