#I wanna go buy the physical books for myself so bad. I gotta. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

default-cube · 3 years

Text

So I've never actually seen /u/ryans01 excellent post re-posted here on tumblr, and I think it could help a lot of people, so I'll repost it below. Link to the original

Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.

(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )

Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.

La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.

Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.

Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.

That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.

I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.

Have an awesome fucking day ☺

tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)

Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!

Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.

Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.

Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png

Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/

#tips #adhd tips #adhd-tips #depression tips #mental health #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #nd #depression #autism #autistic

29 notes · View notes

residentlesbrarian · 3 years

Text

The Second Book I Read In the Dark: Another YA superhero novel for me to squeal over forever...YES, Please! Gimme Gimme!

Dreadnought by April Daniels

So Day 1 in the dark continues onward and I have already finished 1 of my 3 library books with still so much day left so what else to do but soldier forward and continue without pause. Well there was a short pause for delicious chicken soup cooked on a blessedly gas powered range (never gonna live in a house with an electric range; I swear this thing has saved our butts in so many power outages), but I digress; I was ready! This time I was taking a break from the whimsical and witchy and diving head first into all things super with an extra heroic twist.

I had heard so many good things about this book for so long but again it had fallen to the wayside of other distractions (a rainbow montage of movie and TV show gays runs back and forth through my head like the migrating fandom flamingoes). What finally made me make the decision to buckle down and do the thing was a video review done by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dominic Noble (Video Linked below). I love his series Lost in Adaptation, because as an avid reader I too find myself appalled by what Hollywood often does to my favorite books. Hearing him talk about Dreadnought was just the push my flighty brain needed to say, “Fine! Alright! We haven’t utterly obsessed over a teenage superhero book in like 6 months since we near bludgeoned our girlfriend with Not Your Sidekick! Fine! Let’s do it!” So...yeah if this intro is anything to go by this should be a fun one! Let’s dive right in shall we!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: She just wanted to paint her toenails in peace but then a superhero had to go and die and give Danny the one thing she never thought she’d have...her proper body. Now if only everyone else felt that way too. Life just got awesome and really really complicated all at once! Oh yeah and she can fly now. Bonus!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

Holy crap! After the last book this was exactly what I needed! This book was just...so good! The plot...the characters...the world...everything about it just pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Now I may have felt that way because I didn’t have anything trying to pull me away from this book but I don’t think I would have been easily pulled away if there had been distractions. And so many facets of this story were things I didn’t expect because I had never seen them portrayed before. Like the fact Danny having to deal with the rampant day to day sexism of being a woman now that her appearance matches who she really is. I’ve never seen that in a book before and I absolutely loved it! I was so dedicated to Danny’s story from page 1 it’s ridiculous, and look at that, a perfect segue into the phenomenal characters of this book...look what I did there switching it up going out of order on ya...gotta keep ya on your toes.

Our protagonist Danny is such a phenomenal example of a genuine kind caring person who is also deeply scarred and angry. It was so amazing to read a character that was flawed and struggling and doesn’t see how much a hero she really is and the small moments when others take that double take and go, “You’re the real deal, huh?” But those moments just confuse the living hell outta Danny cause she’s just Danny, she got super powers as a fluke. She is also hilarious and courageous and smart but knows she isn’t perfect and has weaknesses. She may be the strongest person on earth physically now but she acknowledges that that isn’t everything someone needs. Danny is such a good bean, but she has issues and that isn’t glossed over which is so rare. Now the next thing I want to touch on is a very tough subject but is very prevalent in the book so I wouldn’t be a very prudent reviewer if I didn’t bring it up. Danny is, without question, an abused child. This isn’t even really a spoiler, it alludes pretty heavily to it in the blurb, but what I’m gonna touch on next does dip into that territory so I’m gonna break it into a new LONG paragraph so just scroll on by if you don’t want to read this bit.

So at one point in the book Danny mentions a health screening at school that revealed she had hearing damage in her right ear that has now been healed by the mantle of Dreadnought. At the time of the screening she didn’t realize why until her dad had another Mount Vesuvius day and she assumed her usual position of curling in on herself and turning her head to the left so he would yell into only her right ear. Now how loud and how often do you have to yell into someone’s ear to cause permanent hearing damage? I don’t know and honestly I don’t want to know. Why am I highlighting an overall tiny moment...because for me this moment jumped out and gut punched me. Brought literal tears to my eyes. Tears of pain. Tears of rage. Tears of hate. I’m a weepy bitch when I get emotional. I’ve read a lot of books that try and portray abuse and how Daniels wrote Danny’s abuse from her father took my breath away because it felt so real. There weren’t really any good days, there were bad days, there were really bad days, but most days were just anxiously waiting for the next bad day, because Danny knew there would always be a next bad day. Something that did surprise me was my feelings about Danny’s mother. I knew going in I would hate her father, before even meeting him I hated him, but her mother, that was a hate that lay dormant until it exploded onto the scene and froze me to my core. I’m not gonna get into my own demons here but there is one thing I cannot abide by and that is people turning a blind eye while someone abuses another. Danny’s mother is the textbook definition of someone who “goes along to get along”, she will do just about anything to keep the peace, but at what cost? Instead of protecting her child from someone who literally screamed so long and so loud at her child that it damaged her hearing she just sat back and let them. That’s not the worst though, no, after Danny’s transition her mom seems to be understanding of the fact she is happy being a girl and is buying her things she needs like bras and undeniably feminine shoes, only to reveal it was all to keep Danny docile so she wouldn’t cause more fights with her dad. That to me is unforgivable. Not worse than the abuse of the father, but still undeniably selfish. She never cared about Danny or listened to her and what she was really saying. She just didn’t want there to be anymore fighting. Well I’m sorry, but sometimes, as a mother, you should fight to protect your goddamn child when someone is hurting them. The last thing I’ll say before going back to the more spoiler free and fun part of the review is that the fact Danny can never make herself say she is being abused hits so close to home for me. As a reader looking in from outside, there was a scene with a member of the Legion that I felt like, as an abuse survivor myself, I was standing there begging Danny to accept her invitation. To get out of that house. To get away from her father. To see what he was doing for what it was. But I knew she wouldn’t, she wasn’t ready, and it broke my heart to watch her fly away.

Anyway moving on from all that heavy stuff lets talk about other things like some freaking superheroes and one particular vigilante. We have the Legion members: Doc Impossible, Valkyrja, Magma, Graywytch, Chlorophyll, and Carapice. Now How do I want to talk about these characters...in what order...hmmm...how about from best to worst. Okay? Okay. Great!

I freaking love Doc Impossible! She is a character that from the moment I met her she gave me ‘kookie grandma’ character vibes and I get DOWN with kookie grandma characters. Now I know she isn’t a grandma character nor is she particularly crazy in the way she acts; it's just a vibe I get from her that I love. Now one thing I do want to say without spoiling anything is how Doc is one of the few characters that never tries to take away Danny’s agency in everything that happens around her in all this superhero craziness. Danny can always be her own person and most importantly a kid around Doc, and I feel Danny really needed that. I will stop myself now because I could go on for hours about Doc and how much I LOVE HER!

Next up we get a two for one, Valkyrja and Magma. We don’t see much of them but what we do get is pretty good. They are adult superheroes who have their own priorities surrounding what is going on with Danny, but aren’t mean or cruel and seem to genuinely care about Danny. Valkyrja is funny and surprisingly down to earth even though she is basically a scandinavian goddess of sorts. Also the hilarity of her being Danny’s long time celebrity crush never gets old. Oh Danny, you useless little lesbian. Magma is a precious big hot boy that seems like he’d give good hugs. Yeah, that's about all I got to say about him that won’t spoil anything.

Now we have another two for one with Chlorophyll and Carapice. These two I'm between dislike and indifferent on. They weren’t outright mean to Danny but they treated her more like a means to an end or down right refused to acknowledge she was the new Dreadnought whether they liked it or not, but we didn’t really get to see them enough to really learn more about their motivations.

Finally to round out the Legion we have Graywytch. Excuse me while I get this out. *Exaggerated throat clear.* First of all, Imma slap that stupid robe of ya stupid head. Then Imma stab you with your stupid fancy atheme you like to wave around all the time. And don’t even start on your “Typical male, always resorting to violence” shtick, cause guess what, I’m a ciswoman and I still wanna stomp a mudhole in your ass. And for that...Imma slap your dumb bird too. *Deep breath in. Looooooong exhale.* Sorry about that. Mama had to express some rage. I have never had a hate-sink character that made me feel the fiery flames of rage quite like Graywytch...obviously. Her treatment of Danny had me gripping the book tightly and growling about slapping birds and “shanking bitches” more than I should probably admit. She is one of those characters that I love how much I hate her. She served the exact purpose she was meant to and it was never cast in a light that she may be right in her treatment of Danny, we are always aware that her mindset is ridiculous. Like the fact outside of her parents Graywytch is the only character to blatantly deadname and misgender Danny. To go off on a small tangent here I may relate too much here because I have a younger brother who is trans (don’t worry he is fine with me discussing it in reviews and such) and I went to a graduation party when my best friend graduated medical school and he was out to the family but not extended friends yet. After only referring to him by the proper pronouns for so long at home hearing the wrong ones caused legitimate eye blinking record scratch cognitive dissonance for me. I had the same feeling anytime Graywytch opened her stupid mouth and blatantly misgendered Danny. Because the way this is written Danny is Danny, she is exactly who she is meant to be. Suck it Graywytch!

Okay, I know you probably want to hear about the plot I know, but we have one more character we have to talk about and that is Calamity, the rootin’-ist tootin’-ist vigilante that ever did come through these here parts. Sorry, I have to talk like this now, it’s part of the persona, you have to commit to the persona. But real talk, I absolutely love Calamity as a look into “graycapes” and the real dive into the world of superheroes beyond the big heroes. We get to see how someone who doesn’t have the backing of the Legion goes about helping people, the little people, those that maybe the Legion way up in their tower can’t see from so high up in the clouds. And y’all know me, I love a morally gray vigilante with a heart of gold. She had me at “You wanna go capin’?”

Now obviously I couldn’t get enough of the characters but the plot was pretty darn good too. It was so intricately woven in with Danny and her inheriting the mantle from the previous Dreadnought that she had no choice but to be an integral part of it. Now I obviously don’t have as much to say about the plot as I did the characters but know if you come for the plot you won’t be disappointed. It kept me guessing and threw me for an absolute curve ball at the end that I did not see coming! You won’t be disappointed.

So final thoughts...there isn’t much more I can say without going on an hours long squeal fest about how much I freaking loved this book and the characters and the intricacies of how Danny’s powers work and how she was written and how she interacts with different characters and just everything that would mean massive untakebackable spoilers! So I will end on this note; Danny is a character that it would have been easy to lean into the superhero aspect and let the reader forget that she was trans, but April Daniels didn’t want that. Danny was gifted the easiest transition in the history of the world. What takes most people years of HRT and surgeries and therapy Danny did in the passing of a mantle, but it never took away the fact she is and always will be trans. It was a unique reading experience that I have only been blessed with once before but that’s a story for a different review on a different day.

Queer Wrap-up: I would give my left kidney (that’s my good one btw) to give this book five unicorns, but alas I cannot, a one off conversation in an elevator hinting that a certain improbable doctor may have a one sided thing for a particular sadly straight scandinanvian god being is just not enough to count as additional rep. As much as I love this book, and I love it A LOT! We only have Danny as our queer rep and she is fantastic rep and our protagonist so a 4 unicorn rating was a no brainer on this one. Danny is the kind of trans rep I want to see more of in the world of books, YA and otherwise. Being a trans lesbian is a huge part of her character but she gets to do so much more than that in the breath of the story and that’s what I look for in great representation, so Danny easily earned these 4 unicorns on her own merit just being her amazing self.

Links:

Goodreads

Dominc Noble’s Review

Alright so...this one got long. Ah hell, I ain't gonna apologize for it! This is a damn good book and I wanted to get my fangirl squeal on y’all.

Oh no, I think I’ve been thinking about Calamity too much I slipped into the persona without meaning to! This book was just far too much fun to read to the point I started reading it out loud with a full cast of voices (hint: the Calamity parts were my favorite) because it flowed so well and was genuinely so funny at parts and heart wrenchingly sad in others and so action packed the next moment. I finished this book in less than a day and if I had been more present and not under a pile of blankets and wearing a headlamp I might have thought to keep a timer to tell you the exact number of hours it took me, but alas know it didn’t take me many.

So the adventures reading in the dark continue on to the next review after this one but as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

#Dreadnought #april daniels #nemesis book 1 #resident lesbrarian #4 unicorns #mtf transgender lesbian #ya novel #ya science fiction #go to you local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe guys gals and nonbinary pals

37 notes · View notes

taggedmemes · 5 years

Text

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ BUZZFEED UNSOLVED: SUPERNATURAL / 2.09 –– 2.10 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

“I wouldn’t jump quickly to conclusions.”

“Whatever, don’t judge a book by its cover.”

“We just never stay anywhere nice.”

“I don’t want to kill the vibe, but we could just turn the lights on.”

“No, no, no, you’re gonna scare the ghosts away!”

“You can definitely smell the age of this room.”

“Holy shit, it’s a jacuzzi tub!”

“This is the best place we’ve ever... cleared? Stayed? Ghost-busted!”

“It’s like a ghost sitcom.”

“He didn’t like sinful activities, he didn’t like debauchery in general.”

“Well, he can go to hell.”

“Do you really want to talk about that night?”

“I stole them off a woman who died on the Titanic!”

“We can never go back there.”

“Shadows do tend to follow you, though. That’s sort of how they work.”

“It was booming with music and lots of other stuff too.”

“Were there Chads back then?”

“[Name] is afraid of you.”

“I think you should show him that you demand to be respected.”

“I never knew that this was that easy.”

“If there’s anybody in here, now’s the time to let us know.”

“You gotta fucking calm down, man.”

“Ghost 101. One, knock book of shelf. Two, uhh, hold a candlestick in the middle of the hallway. Three, sheets.”

“We’re gonna leave now, please don’t follow me.”

“If you can’t catch him here, just follow him home.”

“Stop telling the ghosts to follow me home!”

“I do not like this room at all.”

“Um, is there anybody in here with me?”

“This is one of the best days of my life.”

“If you don’t want us to be here, send us a sign.”

“Why do you have to phrase it like that?”

“I’m sorry I’m in here.”

“I just got the fucking chills, god dammit.”

“I feel like I’m gonna cry.”

“Was that you telling us to leave?”

“Ghost, I’m beginning to suspect that you’re not real.”

“Call it a hunch, but I’ve sat in a lot of dark rooms with this guy talking to the air.”

“There’s definitely a noise, but I don’t think it’s compelling in the sense that it sounds like a voice.”

“It’s your time to run amok.”

“Did you just take a shit?”

“I just realized what I’ve gotten myself into again.”

“Come out, rip my skull outta my head, pull my bones out and melt them in front of my face.”

“Are we doing more of this or could I use the jacuzzi hot tub that we’ve been blessed with?”

“Are we gonna spend the night here and not use that?”

“We’re just two guys sitting in a tub.”

“I’m delighted, because this is the first place we’ve ever slept that has just a modicum of luxury.”

“It’s so dark in there, did you see that?”

“I wanna see if someone’s actually out there.”

“Maybe this is a lost cause.”

“It sounds not even close to my voice.”

“Is this not alarming you?”

“Between [name’s] snoring and this fucking ghost, I’m gonna kill somebody.”

“I’m a little spooked.”

“I bet he was just embarrassed.”

“There’s a ghost marching around for seven hours nonstop.”

“I’m gonna take the camera away from your stupid face.”

“This place is not haunted.”

“We gotta merchandise those things.”

“I really don’t know what to expect.”

“Voodoo is actually a very positive practice.”

“You would kill me? You would murder me??”

“It’s all hypothetical, I don’t really want to.”

“We argue on this, but I don’t want to murder you!”

“I never said I wanted to murder you.”

“You want to kill me!”

“Can you see over this without jumping?”

“The house is quite a sight.”

“You have to get that out of your head and just let it flow.”

“I’m fascinated and interested and I’m not afraid of these things.”

“I think you might intellectualize too much.”

“I’m just a guy who’s interested in this stuff and gets a little dizzy sometimes.”

“Is this a thing you recommend for anyone?”

“So we’re looking at bare bones right now.”

“You look so scared already.”

“I’ve been, uh, more comfortable.”

“It it best that you walk through backwards.”

“You wanna say anything to me or the little guy? What about to the giant?”

“I do find that more compelling than any of the other dumb ones you’ve dug up.”

“What on the street could possible make that noise?”

“It sounds like it’s literally in the room with us.”

“Any time you do that shrug, it’s like a victory for me.”

“It makes my heart warm.”

“I’m gonna buy you one of those for Christmas.”

“Any physical sensations that you’re feeling in there?”

“Put away your fear and just focus on what you feel.”

“I’m bad at feeling.”

“I wanna believe in something, outside the norms of physics.”

“He’s having a rough time tonight.”

“Maybe I’m too in my head.”

“If there’s anything here, it feels like it’s scared, too.”

“I took an improv class once, because I’m a white guy.”

“I always felt like something was watching me in the dark when I was little.”

“Find that source, you might dissolve some of your fears.”

“The spirit world is in your hands.”

“I just got the chills thinking about it, that’s fucking crazy.”

“So, the takeaway here is every little sound is a ghost?”

“No, the takeaway here is that sounds that don’t belong in that environment may or may not be ghosts.”

“Did you actually just comment on something that may have been paranormal?”

“I was just waiting for the logical explanation.”

“The kitchen is the darkest part of this house.”

“Let’s lock ourselves in the murder room.”

“I think you just want to watch me freak out.”

“If there’s anyone here, feel free to reach out to me.”

“I’m gonna die in there.”

“A lot of times I just do this because I know how much [name] will hate it.”

“His mind will eat itself.”

“I don’t really want to talk about what happened in there.”

“I’m gonna leave forever in a second right now.”

“There’s something creepy up in the attic.”

“See anything spooky?”

“I think something tugged on my shirt.”

“I gotta tell you, I’m really transfixed with this world.”

“You gotta learn to not be so scared.”

“I think you need to learn how to shut the fuck up.”

“I’m not even trying to be a jerk about this.”

“I just get tired of you asking if I get scared about things that I don’t believe in.”

“It’s like asking me if I’m concerned that when I fall asleep the moon turns around and winks at me with a big, evil face and has a boner, or something.”

“Of course not, because that’s not real.”

“Does the moon wear pants, then, to cover up its boner at all times?”

“This is the dumbest example you’ve ever given.”

“I think the moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts.”

“The dark side of the moon just has a giant, dusty boner.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence meme #sentence starters #starter sentences #KIND / SENTENCE.#BASED ON / TV SHOW.#KIND / IN CHARACTER.

369 notes · View notes

thiswasinevitableid · 4 years

Note

57 with indruck would be the perfect christmas gift! Love your work!

#57: You called me at two in the moring insisting that I come over and help you bake christmas cookies for the party tomorrow because you forgot to make them earlier and need help now.

It’s 1:58 a.m, December 22nd, and Duck Newton should really be in bed.

Instead, he’s aimlessly puttering about his kitchen.

He can’t sleep. He’s tried. But something in his mind won’t settle, and each time he tries to grasp at it, to see what’s troubling him, the thought skitters away into some dark corner of his brain.

Any distraction would be welcome at this point; hell, even if the now-closed gate were to open up with an abomination, that would be an improvement. At least then he’d know what he was worried about.

Ringring

Thank god. Maybe Leo can’t sleep either, maybe Minerva’s decided he needs to do some kind of sudden hero training, maybe Barclay needs help at the lodge.

“Go for Duck.”

“Hello, Duck.” The lilt drifting across the telephone lines is unmistakable.

“Hey, Indrid, everything-”

“-okay? Yes. Or, well, mostly yes. My call is not a matter of life or death, if that’s what you mean. I was calling to ask if you’d be able to help me with something.”

“What kind of somethin?” Duck is already looking for his shoes, partially as a means of distraction from the filthy picture his mind just supplied of how he could help Indrid in the middle of the night.

“I am baking cookies for the party tomor-, ah, well, I suppose it’s technically today now, and I require assistance.”

“I mean, sure, but why call me? Sounds more like Barclay’s kinda thing.”

“True, but the futures showed me that you were going to spend the remainder of your night in a restless funk, and I wanted to prevent that. Also they show Barclay, ah, preoccupied with Agent Stern this evening. Goodness, who knew they-”

“Whoah, god, please do not make me think about my friends doin it. I’ll be over in a few.”

Indrid’s smile is audible, “wonderful. I shall see you soon.”

------------------------------------------

Indrid spends the next fifteen minutes cleaning.

Shoving things into cabinets and under furniture counts as cleaning, right?

Perhaps he should have done this sooner. But there’d only been a 50% chance Duck agreed to join him. In half his visions, the human politely declined, and spent his night simmering in discontent.

A crunch of tires is in new fallen snow means he doesn’t even need to look at the futures to see Duck arrive. He has a minute before he reaches the door.

He glances down at the eggnog stain on his pajama pants, and dashes into the bedroom to change them. Gets to the door two seconds before Duck knocks.

The ranger lowers his hand, smiling gently, “Hey.”

“Hello. Apologies in advance for how warm it is in here.”

“Eh, visited you enough lately that I’m kinda gettin used to it.”

“Oh, good. That’s very good.”

(Why are there futures of them kissing? Where is that coming from?)

Duck steps into the trailer, shutting the door as Indrid heads into the kitchen.

“So, what are we makin’?”

“Sugar cookies. I promised Barclay I would bring some to the potluck tomorrow. I have all the necessary supplies here.”

“Great, what recipe are we usin?”

Indrid looks at the pile of ingredients on the counter. His future vision told him which ones to buy, but isn’t of much use when it comes to predicting a recipe.

“You don’t have a recipe, do you?” Duck says with amused patience.

“No, I do not.”

“Don’t suppose you got any cookbooks layin around.” Duck opens the nearest cabinet, which contains solely Capri Suns.

“I may. I collected various books that seemed useful during my travels. They’re in that cabinet towards the front.”

Duck kneels down, begins searching through the cabinet and pulling out books.

“‘Drid, how the hell are you fittin all these in here? The physics don’t make sense.”

“Mmm? Oh, most of the cabinets and the closet are enchanted to allow for more storage space.” He waves his hand distractedly, trying to parse out the warmth swirling in his chest at the use of the nickname.

“Sewin’ guide, anatomy textbook, uhhhh maybe, nope, that’s a repair manual for the Bago. Didn’t know you worked on it yourself.” Duck leans further into the cabinet and Indrid spends a moment appreciating how his legs and ass look in his jeans before responding.

(Probability of kissing jumps ten percent).

“I can do basic repairs. Though, at this point, my home is held together mainly by magic. And duck tape. A truly excellent human creation.”

“Not fillin me with confidence about the safety of drivin in this there, ‘Drid.” Duck teases. There’s rustling from the cabinet, though no further commentary.

The kissing futures jump even more. What on earth is happening? Yes, he wants to kiss his friend. But as far as he can discern, Duck does not want that, and it takes two for that fantasy to work.

“Aha, got it.” Duck crawls backwards, proudly produces a red and white checkered cookbook, “Bettin this has what we need.”

“Wonderful!” Indrid claps his hands together as Duck flips to a page with a recipe for sugar cookies and hands it to him.

“Oh dear, I do not have a mixer, this is going to take…” He blushes at an oncoming future.

“You also got a friend with chosen strength. Ain’t just good for savin the word.” Duck grins and flexes his arm.

Indrid chirrs appreciatively, then catches himself, “Ahem, in that case, please beat this butter and sugar in that bowl while I measure out our dry ingredients.”

They set to work, side by side. The small kitchen means they bump into each other often, but neither seems to mind. In fact, Duck seems to be bumping into him more than usual.

“How come you waited until now to make these?” Duck cracks an egg into the bowl.

“I didn’t mean to. But as you know, I can be easily distracted by watching futures or trying to stop them.”

“Coulda just bought some at the store in the mornin. Not that I mind helpin you.”

“I...you will think me silly if I tell you.”

“That what the futures show?”

“Half of them, yes.”

“Try me?”

“It has been a long time since I had any kind of connection to my fellow Sylphs. Let alone friendships with both Sylphs and humans. I want to demonstrate that I value those connections, make things to contribute to our time together. It is nice to belong, in a way, and I often fear losing it.”

“‘Drid, you know you don’t gotta earn your place with us. We all care about you. I care about you.” He takes Indrid’s hand from where it’s paused, mid gesture, and squeezes it once.

“Thank you.” Indrid sighs, decides to take the risk of his next words, “I’ve seen the end of things, so many things, so many times. I am used to it, in many ways. But there are times when I struggle to believe that the good things in my life will not be cut short in the same way.”

“I mean, everythin’ ends cause of time and mortality and shit like that.But that don’t mean good things are gonna disappear as soon as you find ‘em.”

Indrid smiles.

(Seventy percent of the timelines show them kissing.)

“Hey, goofus, I see you floatin off into the futures. Stay in the present with me, or I’m eatin all the cookies myself.”

Indrid grins, “ You wouldn’t dare.”

Duck grabs a nearby spoon and scoops out a bite of dough and chews it with an exaggerated “mmmmmm.”

Indrid pouts and makes grabby hands, as humans call them.

“Nope, this is all mine now.”

“Noooo, the raw dough is the best part.” Indrid grabs for the bowl, but in spite of being shorter than him Duck manages to keep it out of reach.

“I’m savin you from yourself, you’re gonna get salmonella.”

“I am not, my Sylph biology prevents such a thing. You, on the other hand, can very much get that illness. So,” he lunges for the bowl playfully. Duck sidesteps him and he stumbles with an undignified chirp. Duck snickers and Indrid giggles

“Okay, okay, I’ll give you some if you tell me one thing.” Duck sets the bowl back on the counter, blocking it with his body, “How come you have a bunch of drawins of me saved in your cabinet?”

“I, ah,” oh goodness, he should have seen this coming, “I save certain drawings if I like them.”

“‘Drid, those were almost all of me.”

“Because I like them. I like you. Seeing futures of you made me feel happy while I was away from Kepler.”

Ducks eyebrows slowly raise.

There’s no point in looking at the futures. Indrid has to do this in the present, has to face the reactions in real time, because that us always what being near Duck does to him; draws him back to earth, to the moment, over and over again because all he wants to focus on is him.

“I am very fond of you, Duck. It has been quite awhile since I had anything resembling a crush on someone, and my feelings for you have grown considerably in that direction. But I understand completely if it is not reciprocated.”

“That’s uh, that’s, fuck, uh-”

Indrid droops; if Duck is trying to lie, it must be to spare his feelings.

“Um, I don’t, uh, oh fuck it.”

Warm hands are suddenly on his upper arms as Duck pulls him into a kiss. Sugar and butter on his lips, strands of dark hair tangling in his fingers as he clasps Ducks head. It’s tentative, a tad awkward because of his glasses, and he never wants it to end. Whimpers when it does, and Duck simply smiles, bumps their noses together.

“I was tryin to come up with some line about how I was surprised. But I ain’t, not really, especially not after findin those drawins. I been fallin for you for awhile, and was gettin the sense you might be doin’ the same. Just didn’t wanna push my luck and scare you off, sugar.”

Indrid grins.

“What?” Duck arches an eyebrow.

“I simply enjoy the nicknames you give me. Most of my aliases are attached to my sometimes unnerving appearance. It is nice to be called something new and sweet.”

Duck kisses him, first on the cheek and then snowflake-light on the lips, “Good to know. Now, c’mon, we can uh, cuddle, more once these are done and I need that real bad. So let’s finish these cookies, sugar.”

#Indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #indruck discord #winter aus

45 notes · View notes

darkdevasofdestruction · 5 years

Text

The Blood Moon

Summary : With great powers comes great responsibility, so why bother with them, when you can just chill back and relax? That’s what Katrina always told herself in a way to calm down whenever she felt herself lose control, but nothing will stop her from getting in trouble with literally everyone around. Her world was chaotic, like the last seconds of a fly trapped in a spider’s web, but what happens when the world literally goes Upside Down for her, has to take care of a group of nerds much bigger than herself and even worst, she feels her heart beat for the first time, but now, not because of anxiety, but due to a much warmer feeling.

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x OC (Katrina Black)

TW : Stranger Things, as a TV show, explores a lot of themes, including childhood trauma of various types, which I am going to go along with.

—

This story contains and explores a variety of trauma and darker themes, most of them relating in canon to a certain character, others that I’m more familiar with then I wish I were and so on.

I have this story written on AO3 that I wrote in like 3-4 days because GODS I am in L O V E with Billy Hargrove and someone please save me, all my feelings are in here, from sorrow to glee, from fluff to angst and so on.

But I’ve never been prouder of a story I’ve written like I am with this one.

—

Chapter 1: The Fox and the Lion

I had no idea how the hell I managed to get wound up in a group of 12 year olds’ troubles, but I can’t deny that it wasn’t fun, if not, just crazy dangerous and deadly. I met up Mike and his little group of nerdy friends whilst going to the arcade one day and them cursing my nickname for not being able to defeat my high-score in any game. Of course, since all arcade games only had a 3 letter maximum for each name, I put mine.

“FOX”

Because I have red hair and can be pretty sly and sneaky, despite how very introverted I am. Now it’s my last year at Hawkins High School, this one being the most important because if everything goes right, I may get a scholarship and be able to continue my studies further, to University, pursuing Vet Medicine, like I’ve always dreamt of.

Now, to tell a little bit about myself…

Officially, I was called “3”, just like the number tattooed on my shoulder, which is to brand me as one of the many experiments the Russians/Americans did on children. Somehow, and very thankfully, I managed to run away, thanks to my weird powers that I’m still not 100% sure, and found myself in the woods, where I stumbled upon this policeman named Hopper who was nice enough to take me in for a while, before getting me to an orphanage and making sure a real family gets to take care of me.

The date of me meeting Jim was January 3rd, a very cold and snowy winter, so from that day on, that has become my birthday. Since I didn’t have a name, he let me stay a few good weeks with him and taught me how to read and write, which was pretty easy, to say the least, and upon reading so many books, I found a name that finally suited my tastes.

“Katrina”

That was 5 years ago, when I was 13, and now I’m at my own little house close to the Byers, I recently found out, living alone with Jim visiting me often, or having the kids have sleepovers at mine from time to time, when I’m not too busy with my studies.

After the incident with the monsters, Will’s disappearance, El and everything, we’ve really bonded, and gotta say, being a Rogue in their DnD party was super fun!

Life hasn’t been easy, that much is sure, isn’t it? Many bad things happened that cannot be changed or unmade, so you have to life with them through the rest of your life.

But things never stay the same, do they…?

Life at highschool ain’t the best, especially not with all these mean girls and boys around, but how I survived 3 years, I can survive one more, right? Also, recently, Will and the gang told us about a new girl coming from California called “Max” who apparently beat all their records as well and from their description, I really wanna meet her. Now, I’m wondering if this is a coincidence or not, but my Sherlockian instincts were tingling, and she may or may not be our new colleague’s little sister. Oh, yes, new colleague… His name is Billy Hargrove and he’s the most intimidating man I’ve ever seen in my life. He is literally radiating masculinity and his eyes make everyone either kneel at his feet or stay away from him, because he won’t take anyone’s shit. In a very short amount of time, he managed to gain the reputation of “Keg King”…I think that was? Beating Steve Harrington at popularity, now being the literal best student at sports (especially basketball), having the most number of uh…Charmed ladies, as a count, and beat up a ton of boys who dared disrespect him. So, uh...FUN!

I could have said that I’ve been pretty lucky so far, seeing that I didn’t have the need to directly interact with Billy so far, but fate was never as you’d expect and the weirdest of changes always happen when you least expect them.

Wednesday morning -

I wake up, eat a bowl of milk and cereal, go to wash my fave, brush my long red hair and look through my clothes.

I choose an over-sized AC/DC Tshirt, light blue boyfriend jeans, a red plaid shirt tied to my waist, round shades, a black hat and black combat boots, take my bag and go to my motorbike that I recently managed to buy and went to high school. Maths went pretty fast by, Chemistry too, but during Biology, we had to make a project for the final grade, which will affect the overall grade by a huge percent, which completely got my attention.

But that wasn’t all.

Mrs. Green insisted on assigning us partners…And I was to do the project with none other than Billy Hargrove, which made me gulp in anxiety and start to slightly scratch at my neck, not daring to look at him…Or anyone, for the matter.

Mrs. Green: Kat, Billy, may I talk to you at the end of the class for a moment? Billy: Sure. Me: Okay…

After this, the class went on as if nothing happened, but I could basically feel the burning and poisonous glares the many girls in my class would throw at me. After all, who wouldn’t want to be partnered up with THE King Billy?

Ha.

Me.

What a fool.

All I did the whole class was to draw on my notebook, habit which I found out managed to calm down my anxieties pretty well, even if I didn’t really pay attention to the teacher…But hey, for someone like me, it’s no big deal. After all the other students left the classroom, I grabbed slowly got up and went in front of Mrs. Green, not managing to look in her eyes, my gaze fixed on the floor as I bit my lip and fiddling with my fingers. Billy, as well, stood just next to me, but he looked extremely laid back.

Mrs.Green: Billy, I am sure you are aware that, despite your pretty good grades, slightly above average, in most subjects, you are somehow failing Biology. So, I wanted to ask you, is it just disinterest, or are you not understanding something? I thought that, compared to Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics, this would be at least a bit easier. Billy: Well, uh…I dunno, I guess I don’t really get it or something. I guess I started with the wrong foot and continued even worse and…Yeah, you get it. Mrs.Green: Kat, dear, I am very sorry to ask this of you, since I know you’re extremely shy, but would it be okay with you if you were to help Billy with Biology? You told me you want to pursue Medicine at University, and so far you’ve been exceeding all expectations at my subject, which is why I paired you two up. Just a bit of tutoring, once in a while, if you both agree. Billy: If it helps with my grades, I don’t see why not. Mrs.Green: Excellent! What do you say, dear? Me: Uh, w-well, I…Uhm…I-I mean, s-sure, but…But a-are you sure I’m the right person for this? I-I mean, as you said, I’m painfully shy…A-And I’m afraid I might be more annoying than useful and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time and- Mrs.Green: Dear, Kat, calm down. I’ve seen you help and explain to some of your colleagues before at different subjects and you did an extraordinary job at it! I think you shouldn’t be afraid. Who knows, maybe Billy will be able to help you out with your shyness, since he’s so popular and sociable. Me: *hiding my face* I-I-I w-well, I don’t know what to say… Billy: You can start by saying ‘Yes’ ? Me: Uhm…I guess you’re right. S-Sure, I will tutor you, I am fine with that. J-Just tell me when you don’t understand or if I’m being annoying, I’ll try to stop. Billy: *chuckles* Don’t worry, toots, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine. Mrs.Green: *winks* Think of it as opportunity. It will look very good on your recommendation letter. Me: Y-You mean, you will…? Mrs.Green: *smiles* But of course, dear! How could I possibly not recommend my top student to the best University? It was supposed to be a surprise from me and your Physics and Chemistry teachers, but oops! Busted~. Me: I-I-I can’t thank you enough!! Really, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me! I am forever grateful for you and your patience and kindness with me! Mrs.Green: *pats my head* Dear, your only fault is worrying too much and enjoying life too little. Take the advice of the bands you listen to so much and you might learn to live a bit. Now, off you go, your next class is about to start! Me: See you tomorrow, Mrs.Green! And thank you so much for everything again! Billy: Good bye, Mrs. G.

Outside of the classroom, I gripped my notebook close to my chest and walk to my locker, but Billy was still following me with a smirk on his face, and then leaned on the locker nearby.

Billy: So, I just got a very hot teacher as a reward for failing the class, the more you know. Me: I…I think it’s more of a punishment. Billy: Why’d you think that, Kitten? Me: Wh-Why did you j-just call me “Kitten” ? Billy: Mrs.G called you “Kat”, so, why not? Me: My name is Katrina, not Kitten, so please call me that. Billy: Fine, fine…Kitten. *winks* Me: *pouts* Guess I can’t convince you… Billy: You give up pretty easily, babe. It’s almost like you like that. Me: *cringes* I-It’s nothing of the sort. I-It’s just…Over the years…I learn that if saying “No” doesn’t work the first time…It won’t work no matter how many times you repeat or struggle…So might as well just get it over with. Billy: *raises an eyebrow* That sounded oddly specific. Me: *eyes widen* Ah, n-no, forget I just said that! S-Sorry, I, uh…I gotta go to Physics, excuse me. Billy: What a coincidence, I have Physics too. Why don’t we talk about the project and my tutoring on the way there? Me: Uhm…If you’re okay with it, I guess okay. Billy: Have any specific topic you wanna do? I kinda have no idea what we’ve studied so far. Care to enlighten me? Me: Well…We started with the Nervous system, followed by the Sensory organs, then Glands, the Locomotor system, Digestive system, Excretory system, Metabolism, some pretty basic Genetics, some plain Environmental things…And…Uhm…Well… Billy: *smirks* You missed out the Reproduction thingy between Excretory and Metabolism on purpose, didn’t you? Me: *gasps* Liar! You said you didn’t know! You tricked me! Billy: *chuckles* I might have. Say, toots, it’s almost like you missed it on purpose. Are you embarrassed? Hey, what about we do the project on tha- Me: NO!!!! Billy: *wide eyed* Whoa, slow down, there, I was only teasin’. Me: *slaps hand on mouth* I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you! Please, don’t be mad. It’s just…I really don’t like it and it makes me feel very…Very bad. Billy: *shrugs* S'okay, I got it, don’t worry, I’m not mad. Jeez, Mrs.G was right, you really do worry too much. Me: Yeah…I’m really sorry, I told you it’d be more of a punishment than anything. I know I can be very annoying without even realising. Billy: Chill, babe, chill. So, when and where shall we meet? Me: Uhm…Tomorrow after class for the project? Billy: I have Basketball training, sorry. Me: Oh, right, you’re in the team. When’s your next match? Billy: In 2 weeks. Wanna come and cheer me? Me: *smiles* If you want me there, sure, I will be there. Billy: Huh, would ya look at that, Kitten has a pretty smile. Ya wanna make me swoon? Me: Ah, n-no, really, I’m not. Billy: You’re melting my heart, babe! Me: S-Sorry! Uhm…How about this Friday? About 5pm? At…Uhm…There’s this pretty cafe in town called “Ma Cherie” and they have amazing tea and sweets. Billy: Friday…Friday…Ah, yeah, sure. Had a date, but- Me: Oh, shoot! Okay, we can find another day so you won’t have to miss it! Billy: *chuckles* Nahh, don’t worry, I’ll just cancel. I’d much rather stay with you than with her. Me: *bites lip* Uhmm…I…Flattered? I think? Billy: Good then, it’s a date, see you then, sweet cheeks! Me: WAIT WHAT?!

I stopped in my tracks but he only laughed and waved at me, jogging ahead in another direction. It was only then that I realised that I was in front of the Physics classroom and he, in fact, had a complete other subject, not Physics.

Smooth bastard…

And so, Wednesday came to an end, Thursday as well, Friday went by unnoticed and then, I had to go full speed to the Animal shelter nearby to help out. They never told me how much to stay, seeing that my schedule was hectic due to College and Uni preps, so I would just come and go whenever I could. Problem is, I lost track of time and when I looked back at the watch again, it said 4:46pm.

F U C K.

I bid the workers farewell and ran to my motorbike, going as far as I could back to Hawkings and at the cafe, getting all the two bags full of books and running into the cafe, and looking at my watch at the same time.

5:13pm.

Kill me please.

Entering the cafe, I nod at the waitress, as I’m a regular here and we’re on friendly terms, and scan for Billy, who was writing something in a notebook. I rush to take the seat opposite, but before I sat down and let the books fall to the ground, I start apologising to Billy a bit too much.

Me: I’M SO SORRY!! I-I really didn’t mean to be late, but it’s entirely my fault and I feel horrible for making you wait for me! Please don’t be mad, I-I’ll make up to you! I’ll pay each time we go out to study, okay? S-So take anything you want a-and I’ll pay! I know it won’t really make a difference bu- Billy: Babe, sit down and breathe. Me: H-Huh? Billy: I’m not mad. I can clearly see you rushed to get here. Lost track or time, huh? What were you doing? Me: Yeah, I know, I’m stupid. I got a watch today so I can make sure I leave at the right time, but I forgot to check it and…I am late. So, uhm…Y'know how I mentioned I want to pursue Vet Medicine at Uni? I work at an animal shelter nearby and it takes sort of…Almost an hour to get here. Well, more like 40 minutes, but I rushed and got here in like 25. It kinda helps to get in at a top Uni…With a scholarship. I couldn’t afford to study at University otherwise, so I gotta do what it takes. Billy: Well, babe, you look pretty hot in you lab coat. I wanna see you like this more often. Me: M-My lab coat…? AH, DAMN, I FORGOT TO TAKE IT OFF! Godamn it! Billy: *chuckles* You’re pretty amusing, doll. Come on, sit down and let’s order. Me: Okay. Leila, dear, could you please come and take our order? Leila: Hey, Kat, rushed again from the shelter I see. Regular? Me: For me, yes. Billy, what would you want? Billy: Just a black coffee, thanks. Me: Are you sure? Billy: Yeah, sure. Me: O-Okay… Leila: Okay, then. A Cherry Vanilla tea with extra cinnamon, a chocolate cake and a black coffee coming right up! Me: Thank you for your time, Lei-Lei! Leila: Any time! Billy: Seems you calmed down a bit. Me: Yeah…This place always manages to sooth down my anxieties. Uhm…I literally only come here every time I want to study. Billy: I’m not surprised. It’s pretty nice, I guess. Me: *smiles* I’m happy that you liked it. Billy: Say, forgot to ask you on Wednesday, but today I see you have a Metallica Tshirt. Are they your boyfriend’s? Me: *blushes* B-Boyfriend? But I don’t have a boyfriend, what do you mean? Billy: You don’t? How come? Me: Why are you surprised, who’d want someone like me? Trust me when I say this, I know what I’m talking about. Billy: But you’re smart and pretty, what’s not to like? Me: Many things. So uhm…These are my Tshirts. 90% of my tops have band imprints. And…Well…AC/DC, Iron Maiden and Metallica are my Top 3 favourite bands. I have all their vinyls and cassettes. Billy: You just keep getting hotter and hotter the more I know you. Me: Hahaha, no, no way that could ever happen. Billy: If I were to give you one of my band Tshirts, would you wear it on our next date? Me: D-Date?! C-Come on, Billy, I’m literally the last person you’d want to date, I can assure you. Billy: What if I prove you otherwise? Me: How do you know you’re my type? Billy: *smirks* Oh~? So I’m out of your league, sweet cheeks? Me: Ah-…! Wait, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I didn’t want to insult or offend you, I’m sorry! Billy: Just teasin’, relax. Me: *pouts* Whatevs… Billy: So, wadya say, dollface? About us? Me: D-Don’t you think we should, like, get to know each other first? Become friends and trust each other and all that? Billy: Awww, toots wants one of those cutesy romance novel relationships, how adorable. Me: *blushes* W-Well…Y-Yeah…I guess…I know I’m asking for too much…And there’s no way in hell that could ever happen to me…S-So…I just…I guess…I kinda gave up on even thinking of dating long ago. Billy: *sighs* Maybe your expectations are too high of people that are too low. People suck, y'know? The world sucks. You’re expecting a happily ever after? Me: If I ever get to be in a relationship, I want it to be that kind of shelter that would be protective from all the chaos and evilness in the world. The only place where you can feel safe and be yourself. And if that Happily Ever After, as you call it, won’t happen with another person as my significant other…Then I’ll be very content with saving animals’ lives and travelling the world at my leisure. Billy: *smirks* Have I ever told you you’re pretty hot when you speak like that? Me: Uhm…Okay, so, I was thinking that maybe we could talk about the Nervous system in our project? Leila: Kat, you don’t need to talk about the Nervous system. You literally ARE a Nervous system. Me: … *laughs* Oh jesus, that was a good one. I won’t forget that…Actually, I might even use it as a joke when I do the presentation! Leila: *winks* Don’t forget the author’s right! Me: Okay, okay! As per my lovely barista friend joked, instead of presenting you the Nervous system, I will introduce myself, for I am, in fact, a Nervous system. Leila: Hey, Billy, was it? Please film her or something, I want to see that part. Billy: Consider it done. Me: I call this a conspiracy! Don’t try to overthrow my reign! Leila: Oh, shut up, nerd. Here’s your tea, honey and cake, and here’s your coffee. Good luck with your project! Me: Thanks, dear! Billy: Okay, that looks and smells pretty good. Me: *smiles* Wanna try? I can give you half of everything, if you want? Billy: Y'sure? Me: *nods* Sure! Do you like your tea sweetened? I usually put a lot of honey in it. Billy: Make it as you like and I’ll drink after. Me: Here, you can eat from my plate as much as you want. I usually drink the tea first anyways. Billy: So generous, toots, you’re melting my heart. Me: Ahem. So, the Nervous system? Billy: I have no idea what that’s all about, but just for the sake of the joke, I will say yes. Me: Cool! I kinda thought of specialising in Neurosurgery after Uni. B-But that’s really very far in the future, so it’s pretty irrelevant. Billy: Teach me your magic, babe, and let’s fuck them up big time.

Pretty excited, I got the books from the bag and handed them to him, showing him the tons of notes, scribblings, ideas, details and so on that I’ve gathered so far, and for the next 4 hours, everything we smoothly, but we had to leave because Leila had to close, and we decided to meet again on Monday at lunch time in the courtyard and study while we eat.

I have to admit, the time spent with Billy was…Well…Really nice. It seemed almost like he was a complete other person, not the scary guy who looked like he would snap at anyone if they even as much as blinked around him. Sure, he was a huge flirt, but it didn’t seem too…Ill-willed, to say the least. I just hope it won’t turn into a crush or something. I absolutely canNOT and will NOT allow myself to catch feelings…Not again…Not after everything that has happened. He is right. There is no Happily Ever After, so why bother?

The weekend passed by very fast as I prepared notes for both the project and some tutoring ideas for the Nervous System, since we had to start with the very beginning of Biology, so after the first 3 classes in the morning, I tried to rush outside, but I got pushed into a locker with a boy that I couldn’t recall the name of, but I knew was pretty popular…Like many others. I think his name was Dennis or something, and he wasn’t alone, but surrounded by 3 cheerleaders, Clarisse, Carol and Christine, or the Triple C as they were called.

Boy: Hey, freak, 'sup? Me: Uhm…Hi. Boy: Didn’t you hear me? SPEAK UP! Me: I-I Said hi! Boy: I SAID SPEAK UP!! Me: HI! Boy: Thaaat’s more like it, you ugly sow. Now, what the hell were you doing around King Billy? What you’re tryina get him to like you with that pity party of yours? Your face implores pity and sympathy, but you’re nothing more than a nerd! Me: W-We have to make a p-project together… Carol: Yeah, right, as if! You have the goo-goo eyes for him! Y'know, just 'cause he likes the bands you claim to like, doesn’t mean he likes YOU! I bet you only like that music 'cause HE likes it! Me: N-No…That’s not true…

By now, my eyes were watering, and Dennis pinned my wrists above my head and started screaming very close to my face. I could feel a panic attack beginning to form at an alarmingly fast rate.

Clarisse: Aww, look at her! What, gonna freak out again and cry? Christine: Pshh, yeah, right. What a stupid crybaby. Never got past the stage of a 10 year old? Dennis: You and your stupid red hair, better stop hanging out with Billy, or else you’re gonna get it. Me: B-But I h-have t-to- Carol: *slaps me* Billy. Is. Mine. Slut!

After she slapped me, everyone around started laughing and belittling me again, but I couldn’t get out of there because Dennis was exponentially stronger than me, so I knew there was no use in even bothering. A booming voice, however, echoed in the hallway, making me flinch at the noise. “SILENCE! What the hell is going on here?!” the deep voice rang out, a funeral silence taking over, only my soft whimpers being heard.

Dennis: STOP CRYING, YOU BITCH! Didn’t you hear our King asked for silence?! Me: S-Sorry… Dennis: And open your eyes when he’s here, stop being so disrespectful for someone clearly superior to you! Come on, now, on your knees, like the little bitch that you are!

Dennis laughed as he put his hand on my throat, squeezing a bit before throwing me to the ground, in front of Billy. I could only tremble on the ground, not daring to move. I learnt it the hard way that getting away always made it worse.

Billy is the most popular guy in the High school, making all the ex-popular guys hang out with him to gain popularity. He has always been the talk of the school, the womanizer, the rebel, the cool guy everyone loved and feared. Despite everything, I expected him to side with his friends…Even if a little part of me wished for him not to.

The silence in the halls was far more excruciatingly painful than the mockings and the laughter, but it soon vanished as a voice darker and lower than before started talking. He was clearly pissed off.

Billy: …What the fuck were you doing here…? Dennis: We were teaching this bitch a lesson, of course! Make her remember her rightful place! Clarisse: No, no, if you were doing that, you’d have thrown her in the trash bin, 'cause that’s what she is! Carol: Hey, Christine, look at her! She’s staying there like she wants to suck King Billy’s dick! What a shameless slut, on her knees in front of everyone! Billy: Did I, even once, ask ANY of you to do anything like this…? Dennis: Well, no, but she’s been rubbing her pathetic germs all over you! Following you like some lost puppy just 'cause you’re popular, and even more! Lying to us! Carol: Ha, yeah! She kept saying she’s dating you and that you already fucked! Pshh, whore! Me: I…Never… Carol: Oh, shut up, nobody cares what you’re saying, get a hint! Billy: Are you 4 fucking out of your GOD DAMN MINDS?! Dennis: Uhm…B-Billy, what’s the matter? Billy: WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO DO THAT TO HER?! SHE’S MY PROJECT PARTNER AND MY TUTOR, OF COURSE SHE’S HANGING AROUND WITH ME! You fucking idiots, I’m gonna FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU! All of you stay around me like whores on the sidewalk wanting to get some cheap money, but you’re all good for nothing! Dennis: Come on, Billy, you’re new here, but she’s a freak, okay? I mean, look at her! There are only bad rumours about her and you should hear what her EXes say about her!

Before Dennis could say another word, he was slammed on the locker behind him and choked. I cringed at the sudden noise, but when I saw the outright rage on Billy’s face as he choked Dennis, he drew back one of his arms, wanting to punch him, but I threw myself on his arm.

Me: Billy…Please don’t… Billy: Get back, dollface. This fuckass needs to be taught some discipline the hard way! Me: Billy…Please, I beg of you. Please let him go. Please. Billy: But look at you, they made you cry! I can’t let them get away with this! Me: Billy…Please, for me, please don’t do it. Please stop. Please. Let’s go work on the project. Please. I beg you with all my heart. Billy: *glaring* What the hell is wrong with everyone in this fucking town?! You’re all a bunch of submissive fucktards with no brains at all!

Billy sneered, throwing Dennis away from him and walking down the corridor. I took 3 deep breaths to calm myself, before I ran to him and hugged him tightly from behind, making him freeze in his tracks, extremely tense.

Me: I-I’m very sorry, Billy. I know I only bring you troubles. Even now, I can feel that you hate me touching you like this, but it was the only way I could think of thanking you. And…And…I really appreciate you saving me…And not fighting in my presence. Billy: I really don’t get you. You just stood there, letting them do whatever the hell they wanted with you! There was no struggle, no fight in you! Nothing!

By this point, I let my arms fall down my sides and he turned around to face me, yet my gaze was still on the floor.

Me: You really think I could have gotten out of there? That I could have managed to throw Dennis off of me? Look at me, Billy. My arms are literal noodles, I can’t even punch. Hell, sometimes I struggle to open the water bottle cap. And if I tried to scream…Who do you think would have helped me? Harrington? Wheeler? The lovely Carol and Tina? Or Tommy? The only person who was okay with me in this high school has been Jonathan Byers, but people hate him too, so I can’t possibly make him get bullied more because of me. What would you have me do? It’s been 3 years already…What’s one more? Billy: …You’re so godamn irritating. Me: I know…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for causing you so much trouble. I…I will go tell Mrs. Green to assign you a new project partner and I will continue tutoring you, if you wish, where people won’t have to see us in the same room. Billy: Did I ask you to do that? Me: N-No, but- Billy: But nothing. Shut up and let’s go, you’re supposed to be tutoring me today. Me: I-I know, but we said outside, and if people see you with me- Billy: Then let’s skip. I don’t have Basketball practice today, so I don’t really care. Me: I-I…I never skipped before… Billy: *shrugs* There’s always a first time for everything. C'mon, if you get in trouble, you just say I kidnapped you or somethin’, chill out. Me: A-Are you sure about this…? Billy: Yeah, yeah. Hop along, I’ll drive. Me: Where are we going? Billy: My place. My parents won’t be coming home tonight so nobody to disturb us. Me: Uhm…Well… Billy: I won’t do anything to you, fuck’s sake. Me: W-Well…If you’re sure it’s no problem… Billy: Get in the car, then. Me: B-But my motorbike- Billy: You have a motorbike? Me: Y-Yeah…Couldn’t really afford a car. And it’s pretty neat. Billy: Fuck, babe, you’re so hot. Me: Ah, I-I’m really not. Billy: I’ll get ya to your house and pick you up tomorrow then. C'mon, sweet cheeks, lemme show you my love. Me: Okay, okay.

He winked at me before signaling me with his head to follow him to his car, where he patted the hood very proudly and smirked, leaning on the door. He got inside, starting the ignition, which was a cue for me to get inside too, putting on my seat belt and gripping it tightly.

Billy: How d'ya like it? Me: It’s very pretty. What car is it? Billy: '79 Camaro, Chevrolet. Complete chick magnet, ya get me? Me: It is very nice. Billy: Fancy some music! Me: Oh, yes!

Smirking at me, he put “You shook me all night long” by Scorpions at max volume, making me grin at him in glee and start singing the lyrics of the song, and he followed my lead, making both of us scream like idiots above the music. Then, the perfect Mixtape with AC/DC songs started, featuring “Highway to hell”, “Hells bells”, “You shook me all night long”, “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap” and my favourite, “T.N.T.”, but by the end of it, we already got to his house, which made me pout a bit before laughing and getting out of the car.

Me: Thanks for this, Billy! It was super fun! Nobody I know listens to the same kind of music I do, and being able to sing with someone else was sooo cool! Billy: Next time, try screaming my name, 'cause damn that was sexy as hell. Me: *laughs* Don’t be silly. Billy: *winks* I’m not.

He guided me to his room which was filled with band posters over which I started gushing about as he brought some snacks and soda for us to munch on as we study. I took off my boots before I jumped on the bed criss-crossed as I spread my noted for today’s tutoring, repeating some things myself, so I won’t stutter explaining too much, but before I realised it, he already threw the bags of crisps on the bed over my notes, making me yelp in shock.

Billy: You get scared pretty easily. Me: Y-Yeah, I mean, that was pretty unexpected. Uhm…Let’s clean up a bit, you made a mess of my notes. Oh, bring your notebook, you’ll need it. O-Oh, right, I brought coloured crayons, I wasn’t sure you had…And your sister might have needed them. Billy: How did ya know I had a sister? Me: Well, I kinda guessed. Both you and her transferred from Cali on the same day, at the same time. Billy: Why do you know about little brats? Me: *shrugs* I have a few little friends. They don’t mind that I’m a nerd…'Cause they are too. It’s pretty fun, actually! Billy: *raises eyebrow* Right. So, why’d I need crayons? Me: Drawings, of course! To understand Biology better, one must need tons of schemes and drawings. I already have mine and I will give them to you for as long as you need, but I’d appreciate it if you were to draw them by yourself too, since it will really help you understand and memorise better what you’re about the learn. Billy: Right…Okay, fine. Me: So, if it’s okay with you, should we start talking about Cells? Shapes, roles, the organelles inside it and what they do. Then, we should cover the tissues a bit, before starting to talk particularities, mainly, to explain the Neuron, how reflexes work and why, and then cover the nerves and organs. Billy: *blank look* Good luck. Me: Huh? What do you mean? Billy: It’s gonna be tough getting me to understand this shit. Me: I don’t think so. I have faith in you. Mrs.Green said that all your grades are above average, which is really good! If you manage to get a B at Biology as your final mark, then you have a very strong chance at a scholarship! Billy: How d'ya know that? Me: You are the best at sports, Billy. The teacher always praises you, despite all the…Uhmmm…L-Let’s call it problematic behaviour. I’m sorry. And, uhm…Our highschool has 1 Sports Scholarship, and 1 Studies Scholarship. Billy: And clearly, you’re the one to get the Studies one, right? Me: *blushes* Well…Y-Yes, it seems so. Billy: And how are you so sure I’m the one qualified for the Sports one? Me: Well…I…I spend a lot of time around teachers. It’s kind of a safe haven where nobody can bully me, and I get to find out a few things as well. Billy: Holy shit, you’re such a Vixen~! You, little, naughty vixen! Me: *chuckles* I…I’ve been called Fox before. Billy: And rightfully so. Me: Y-Yeah, carrot hair, I know. Billy: Oh, shush, it’s hot. And damn, looks damn good with your green eyes. Me: *clears throat* N-Nobody said that before. Uhm, s-so! As I was saying, because you’re currently the top choice…That’s actually why Mrs.Green wanted you to pair up with me. She saw potential in you and she didn’t want it wasted. Before you, there was Steve Harrington, but since you came… Billy: Oh, babe, trust me, I’m gonna come very soon if you keep praising me like that. Me: *confused* What do you mean? Billy: You…Didn’t get that? Me: *shakes head* Should I have? Billy: Never mind. So, what am I supposed to do? Me: Basically, get that B in Biology, win at least 3 of your upcoming Basketball matches until the end of the year…And I think it’s settled. Billy: I’d kiss you right now. Me: *scratches the back of my neck* You wouldn’t like it. So, uhm…Is this enough of a motivator for you? Billy: It could be…Okay, babe, work the hell outta me. Me: S-So, I was thinking, if it’s okay with you, that I should give you a test after each chapter we finish. Like a revision. I think it would be nice and it would help you not forget some things, and also, see where you didn’t understand well enough and all that stuff. Billy: What’s the passing grade, teacher? Me: *flustered* D-Don’t call me that, please, I would be a terrible teacher. I think…A 75% should suffice Billy: That’s quite a lot, babe. Me: *smiles* You can do it, Billy. Your future self is going to thank you for your struggles and hard work. Billy: How about a motivator? Me: Isn’t the Scholarship enough? Billy: It is…But Y'know, it’s gon’ be hard. Me: I suppose you’re right…Okay, what do you have in mind? Billy: *smirks* Each time I get a passing grade at your tests…Let me kiss you. Me: *eyes wide* Wh-What?! Billy: Aww, come on, babe, it’s just a kiss and it’s gon’ help motivate me to study hard. Don’t cha wanna help me get that scholarship? Me: *blushes furiously* I-I-I…Wh-Why w-would you want that?! Billy: Because you’re adorable as hell and I like you. Me: L-Like you like all girls? Billy: Who said I liked them? They’re all dumb and want the same thing. Can you guess? Me: *shrugs* Dunno. Billy: Come on, babe, think, you’re smart. Me: I guess? Billy: You’re the smartest babe I’ve ever got the pleasure to meet. All fucktards at school want just one thing, 'cause they’re all shallow brain dead suckers. They aaaaaall just wanna fuck. Me: A-And don’t you do the same? Billy: I do. Me: Th-Then why’d you want me to kiss you? To add me to your list or something? Billy: Nahh, I’d be a real shithead if I were to take advantage of you like that. Me: *mutters* Wouldn’t be the first one… Billy: *raises eyebrow* Do you trust me? Me: Don’t take it personal, I don’t really trust anyone. Billy: Huh. Not bad. Let’s make a deal, toots. I’ll do my best to raise up to your expectations and you’ll give me those little rewards. If by the time we finish everything you won’t be satisfied with how I behave, then you can hate me all your life and I won’t bother you again. Me: B-But I don’t wanna hate you. Billy: *gets closer to my face* Even better. So, wadya say, sweetling? Me: Uhmm…Well…I-I don’t know… Billy: Come on, Kitten, what’s the harm? It’s just a kiss. Me: *blushes* Uhm…Uhmmm…F-Fine…If it will help you… Billy: Thanks, babe! Now, how about I see what to expect~? Me: NO!

With each question, he just kept getting closer and closer to my face, while I leaned backwards, until the last where I got so flustered that I didn’t realise I was completely on the edge of the bed… Until I fell off with a high-pitched squeal and a thud, while he just laughed his ass off looking at me, as I pouted and looked at him done with life.

Me: You could’ve caught me, y'know? Billy: Sorry, toots, I was too shocked to realise. But, shoulda seen your face, t'was hilarious! Priceless! Me: Yes, yes, I’m hilarious, ha-ha! Just wait till you see how hilarious the tests are gonna be! And I’ll laugh in your face like you do right now! Billy: Ohhh, mrrrr, babe, you’re on fire! Fine, you’re on, then! But I’ll show ya it’s gon’ be worth it. Me: You better.

Stretching a bit I get back in bed next to him and putting on my best game-face, I grab the first pages of notes, the drawings and schemes and start explaining him in detail every little thing, telling him to repeat what I said from time to time, to make sure he stays focused, and make him explain what he understood so far, in his own words.

Despite everything, he was actually really great company to have and I’m kinda…Actually, really glad that Mrs.Green made me be his partner for this project, and more, tutor him. If only he could tone down his excessive flirting, he’s surprisingly soft and nice. Or well…That’s what I think. I could also be wrong, like I’ve been so many times before, and I wouldn’t be shocked in the least bit.

But…I really hope I’m not wrong.

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

@klassickb

10 notes · View notes

chaoticriderlessb · 5 years

Text

Mystic Messenger Opinions

So, I’m doing this under the cut just in case of spoilers (that I know of), and I don’t want anybody else spoiled. Anyway, I haven’t completed this awesome game, yet (and probably won’t because of reasons), but I just wanted to share my opinions on the characters.

One thing, first. While I haven’t completed the entire game, I did purposely spoil myself on some stuff, so I do know a thing or two about the characters just from reading off of reddit and the MM wiki. Also, I’m going for the good endings, first, in the routes I’m doing. Just putting that out there.

Ok! I’m gonna list the characters off as my most favorite to my least favorite...so let’s get to the opinions of mine!

Jumin: Ok, I can’t help it. He may be a bit of a jerk, sometimes, but I love him...and yes, he’s hot xD! I love how he improves on letting others in and getting used to his emotions...and that he moves on from his cat! Don’t get me wrong, I like cats, but...geez, Jumin! He actually gives off bad-boy vibes to me. I dunno why xD. But, he does.

Admittedly, during his route, when he got a little possessive, it did weird me out, a bit. But thank the Lord, it didn’t last too terribly long. After that, I just adored him and how he tried, so hard, to be sweet and understanding. I was aiming for his normal ending, at first...but then, I screwed up, and got his good ending, instead xD. Which is fine. His good ending was lovely. Although, I’ve seen and read about the normal ending for him, and I gotta say, I kinda like that one more than the good ending. If you ask me, I feel like the two titles should be switched. But that’s my opinion.

V: I’m playing V’s route, right now...but even more I started playing it, I read a bunch about him and what his deal is, and I still love him just as much as Jumin. Now, I admit, he’s frustrating me by keeping everything from everyone. But it’s only frustrating me, a little bit. I just don’t get why it’s necessary for him to have kept everything from all his friends about Rika. And yes, I do think he had a toxic relationship with Rika (but that’s why I’m playing his route, I am trying to save him from that), something that could have been avoided by him. But for some reason, he chose not to, and I just don’t get that. But, other than those things, I’ve always felt really bad for him, and I totally believe that he deserved so, so much better.

Honestly, the whole thing’s 50/50 with me about him. Probably because I have never been in any sort of toxic relationship with anybody, and I’ve never met anybody who has gone through that, so I don’t really fully understand what it’s like...but I can imagine it, and if I ever do meet someone who struggles with that, I would do my best to help them out with it. Nobody should be in any sort of toxic relationship.

But, I still love and adore V, either way. If he was my child, I’d protect him.

Seven/Saeyoung: After playing this guy’s route, I have to put him as my 3rd favorite character. He has been through so much sh*t in his life, and he’s tried so hard to hide it all by being happy and random. Now, he’s not exactly my type, romantically...however, he is definitely the younger brother type in my eyes. Like V, I just wanna protect him, and let him live a happy life without any torment from his childhood.

Mind you, I have not played the secret endings. The only reason is because I just didn’t have enough hourglasses to pay for every episode. I bought Another Story, and bought enough hourglasses for that. However, that is most likely going to be the only time I buy so many hourglasses (I’m trying to save my money for real life, here ^^;...also, I never really like buying in-game things, anyway). So now, I’m just trying to save up on hourglasses throughout the game so that I can get every episode of secret ending. At this point, though, since I purposely spoiled myself...I kinda know a bit of what happens, already. I didn’t read too much into it, though. I only spoil myself to a certain point, and that’s it.

There were times when Seven’s randomness was a little too weird for my taste...but I can overlook that because, despite all the secrets, he’s a sweet boy, and I adore him ^^.

Ray/Unknown/Saeran: Basically, my opinion on him is the same as my opinion on his brother, Seven/Saeyoung. I hate that he was used and lied to throughout most of his life. And, I can tell that he’s sensitive, which is totally understandable, considering his backstory. I purposely didn’t read a lot about him, only because I was planning on doing his route right after V’s. All I really know about him is from what I’ve seen/read in Seven’s route.... I do feel really bad for him, though...nobody should ever have to go through anything of what he and Seven went through. It’s horrible.... Other than this, I don’t really have that much of an opinion on him. He’s a very interesting character, and definitely deserves better. At this point, though, I’m just gonna leave it at that. Sorry!

Jaehee: Honestly, my opinion on her is small, compared to the others. I will say that she is a great character, and I do respect how hard-working and smart she is. If anything, I’d see her more as a good friend...but since I don’t swing that way, I don’t like her, romantically (please, do not hate me on that. I just don’t swing that way). But she is a great character, and I really like her. Just not in a romantic way. I also think she deserves her coffee dream. Also, because I don’t swing that way, I am not interested in playing her route, so I won’t be doing that.

Rika: Ok.... After reading a bunch of reddits and aminos and whatnot, and from what I’ve seen/read in the game.... I have mixed feelings about her character. And like Jaehee, my opinions on Rika are not very big. Honestly, for the life of me, I can never tell if her good intentions and everything were actually good...or, if it was all a lie and she gave in to her dark side a long time ago. She may have thrown parties for fundraisers to help those in need and all that good stuff...but! But! She also lied to people (her own friends and adopted cousin, especially), nearly completely blinded somebody (whether that was actually accidental or on purpose, I don’t know yet), and led a frickin’ cult! She doesn’t seem like the type of person who would do such things, but she did. And I’m sorry, but irl, that is not something that I (or anybody, for that matter) can condone. She needed serious help, and she should have gotten that a long time ago.

If anything, Rika honestly kinda confuses me. Only because I can’t tell if some of her intentions were actually good, or if everything was a lie and she had given in to her dark side, years ago. She’s an interesting character, for sure...just not somebody I would trust. Also, like Jaehee, I am not interested enough in doing Rika’s route, so I won’t. I may have questions, but they’re not strong enough to be interested in seeing her backstory. If I am curious enough, I can always read the MM wiki.

Zen: Ok, at first, I thought he was really cool and sweet and like the big-brother type, and at first, I did want to eventually play his route. However, unfortunately, after playing Jumin’s, Seven’s, and V’s routes, I can hardly stand all the narcissism. There’s only so much of it that I don’t mind. Zen...makes it too much. On top of that, he is way over-protective of MC. All men are wolves? Seriously...? And is he not a man? I’m sorry, but that doesn’t fly with me. I’ve never played his route, but I do know that he’s...self-conscious? I think that’s the word.... However, that does not excuse the constant, constant, narcissism in just about everything. I’ve also become very annoyed with how much he hates Jumin. It’s not so bad in V’s route, so far...but it was definitely bad in both Jumin’s and Seven’s routes. He has crossed the line quite a few times in them. It makes me feel really bad for Jumin. Sure, the guy was born rich and doesn’t really know how to feel much (emotion-wise)...but come on! Seriously? Belittling the guy every chance you get, and going too far, sometimes? Just...no. It’s a big no in my book. And I’m not saying that in Jumin’s defense.

It’s mostly the constant narcissism that is making me dislike Zen. I even hate that, many times, when chatting with him over call or text or in the chatroom, MC’s options are pretty much just feeding his narcissism.... Definitely not my type of guy :/. The more routes I play, the more disappointed in him that I honestly feel. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I should bother playing his route or not...in the end, probably not. But as much as I dislike him, I just can’t ignore his calls or messages. Because I’m just that nice.

Yoosung: Ooh, this boy....! First off, just like Zen, I used to like Yoosung. I used to think that he was pretty ok for a game-addict college student. I have a younger brother who’s addicted to his games, so I know the feels. I used to also think he was sweet, like Zen.

However! After playing the second half of Seven’s route, and now playing V’s route...I can no longer stand Yoosung. I’m sorry, people, but he’s just pissing me off, now. He is just so.... Like, ok, I get it. He’s depressed and still mourning (”mourning” now that I’ve read some things) over Rika. I know how that feels. I lost my grandmother, just last year, and she was nowhere near ready to pass away. She was elderly, but she was physically getting better. As in, she no longer needed her cane to walk around. She was taking care of herself, she was doing fine! But then, a horrible fall sent her to the hospital for weeks and weeks, and it eventually killed her (the fall, not the hospital she was in). She was like a second mother to me...and my family lost her way too soon. So I know how Yoosung feels when it comes to losing somebody close to you.

But what is pissing me off is how incredibly childish he is! Especially in V’s route! Oh my gosh, I have never met a character who was this whiny and childish, before! And he becomes spoiled, too, apparently (reddits, I have read). I’m sorry...I get that this a somewhat different timeline or whatever from the routes that I’ve been playing...but what the hell, Yoosung! You were not this bad in Jumin’s and Seven’s routes!

Also, the whole blaming V for everything thing? Ok, sure, V has done some things that frustrate me, too...but why all the hate? I don’t get it! Not everything is even V’s fault! And apparently, even when everybody reveals the truth to Yoosung about Rika, he doesn’t believe any of it or says that “Rika must have had a good reason”?! What?!

Sorry, sorry.... His character in V’s route is just the worst that I’ve seen in this game...and in V’s route in particular, and it’s made me strongly dislike him. He greatly annoys me, now, just as much as Zen. Imo, he needs professional help...like some of the other characters were suggesting, and he refused it. He obviously needs all the professional help he can get.... I feel a bit sorry for him. But not enough for me to want to play his route.

Please, keep in mind that is all just my opinion on the characters. Kudos to anybody who love Yoosung and Zen. I personally just don’t. Especially after what I’ve seen and read about them. But I won’t judge you or anything if you guys like them. Sorry about my rants! I just needed to get that out of me about Zen and Yoosung. I’m not blaming Cheritz or anything, so don’t worry about that. I’m just really annoyed at those two particular characters, and if I know anything about my taste in men, it’s not them being super childish or narcissistic. Those two qualities are a big turn-off for me, and always have been.

But anyway, those are my opinions on the characters. I love the game! And I’m rather glad I downloaded it and that I’m ruining my sleep over it xD. Actually no, I try to get at least some sleep in the middle of the night before returning for the midnight and 2AM chatrooms ^^;. If I had to give this game a rating, I think it would be 8/10. Sound fair? I think so.

Ok, that’s it for my super-long-as-hell post xD! Imma go to bed, now. Goodnight!

#Mika squawks #Mystic Messenger #opinions #mystic messenger opinions #rants #sorry about that #Life of Mika #late night post #otome

3 notes · View notes

honeylikewords · 5 years

Note

Miguel or Poe trying to plan a birthday surprise for their gf.

Oh, thank you for the prompt! I’ve been just dying to write some cute Oscar-boy stuff (and it’s Oscar’s birthday today, too, as of yesterday!), and today’s been stressful, too, so this will be a good calm-down. I’ll write a little something for both boys!

Poe:

Poe’s big plan is a surprise party. All her friends, all of his (or, at least, the group of his friends that she gets along with), family, and their pets, if he can swing it. Anyone and everyone to celebrate his little love! After all, Poe’s a big fan of pulling out all the stops and making a big deal of his beloved, wanting everyone to admire her and see how wonderful she is.

He’s actually quite the clever little tactician, managing to take his sweetheart out for a full day of activities that don’t exhaust her but keep her sufficiently busy so that their apartment can be opened up by Finn (with a copy of Poe’s key), letting the guests in to set up the apartment with decorations and food and gifts, getting everything in order before the guest of honor (and her man) come home.

Poe keeps her distracted all day long, and at some point he almost starts to forget about the party; just spending the day with her on her birthday is a celebration in and of itself. He accompanies her as she mills around shops and explores the city, laughing with her, gawking at overpriced goods with her (“They want fifty for this?,” he hisses, holding up a neon lamp in a hipster boutique. “I could make us one for five!”), offering to buy her things here and there that she always politely refuses.

“You gotta let me spoil you, baby,” he coos as he places his hand on the small of her back, doing his best approximation of a puppydog pout. It’s a very, very good pout. “Your birthday comes but once a year!”

“And you always try to drag it out into a week-long thing,” she replies, “And you give me all these gifts, and it’s very, very sweet, but I don’t want you going out of your way for me! It’s not necessary to make a big fuss over me!”

“Starlight, I go out of my way for you because it’s a good thing to do for someone you love.” Poe slips his hand around hers and squeezes, meeting her gaze with firm but loving eyes. “I don’t want to overdo it, because doing too much might end up making you unhappy, but doing something to show you that you matter to me? That I care about you? That, for you, I’d go to the ends of the universe and back just on a whim of yours? Well, you know,” he smiles, leaning in to kiss her temple, “I think that’s necessary. Because I wanna show you, the world, and myself just how much I love you.”

“Aw, sweetheart!–”

“And that is why I am buying you this, right now,” Poe announces as he grabs an oversized plush of a marshmallow Peep bunny down from the shelf– she’d been admiring it earlier, making that sad little face Poe notices she always makes when she can’t justify to herself buying something she likes– and makes a break for the counter.

“I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!,” he yells behind him as he runs. She reaches a hand out to stop him, to call and tell him to not waste his money, but he’s already out of range and headed straight to the register.

As they’re walking out of the store (Poe’s arms viced around the gigantic yellow bunny-shaped stuffie, making it hard for him to walk without periodically leering his head around the side of the Peep’s enormous ears), she brushes her fingers along his forearm, a quiet, intimate gesture.

“Poe?”

“Yeah?” His voice is slightly muffled by the Peep.

“…I love you very much, and I appreciate everything you do for me.”

“C’mere,” he smiles, sticking his head out from behind the Peep and puckering his lips, making his dearest smile as she leans in to kiss him. “I love you, darling, to the galaxy’s edge and back. Further, even! To the edge of the physical realm and back! To the void of antimatter and back! To the–”

“I know, baby,” she laughs. “I know.”

When they finally get back home, Poe pretends to struggle to unlock the door.

“What with my hands being rather full,” he grins at her, hoisting the Peep up in his arms. “Would you mind getting it? Keys are in my front pocket.”

She reaches in and finds the keys– while Poe makes comedic little gasps and waggles his eyebrows at her, murmuring “my, my, ma’am, can’t even wait ‘til we’re indoors” before getting shushed firmly– then unlocks the door, swinging it open.

She is then met with a loud chorus of voices, all joyously announcing “SURPRISE!”

As she stands in shock, Poe sets the Peep down and steps up behind her, smiling from ear to ear, the handsome crinkles around his eyes bunched together as he puts his hand against her back and rubs his thumb up and down her spine, absorbing the beauty of her wonderstruck face.

“Happy birthday, princess,” he whispers.

She tosses her arms around him and laughs as the guests all surge forward; it’s a shock, but she’s so grateful for her clever, kind, over-the-top man as she greets her guests, holding his hand and reeling with surprise.

Poe never leaves her side during the whole affair, even as all the guests mill around the apartment and dole out the birthday wishes. He holds her hand and stays near her, watching her with glee as she reacts joyfully to the festivities. When the time comes for the cake’s candles to be lit and the song to be sung, Poe is front and center, leading the chorus, his voice the loudest, strongest, and loveliest.

“Happy birthday, my darling,” he sing-songs, “Ha-a-a-ppy birthday to-o-o-o yo-o-o-o-u!”

She glows in the candlelight, her smile shining warm and bright back at him, and Poe’s heart fills with pride and love, an unmatched adoration. She looks so beautiful when she’s happy, and Poe is thrilled beyond words to have been able to be part of bringing this happiness to fruition.

Miguel:

Miguel’s birthday surprise is a little less social. Miggy is more of a recluse, more of a private person, so he doesn’t feel up to inviting a huge group of people over and dealing with the headache of a party. Instead, the surprise he plans to bestow on his beloved is this: a trip for just the two of them, away from Nueva York.

It’s not a long trip– the obligations of heroism prevent him from straying too far for too long– but it’s enough to, hopefully, refresh his spirits and show her that he cares about her enough to set aside time for just them.

However, the logistics of planning such a trip means there’s a great deal of secrecy and evasion needed on his part. Miguel tries his best to be subtle, but logging her information for the plane tickets and booking hotels without her noticing is a bit of a feat, sometimes. She can be so darn inquisitive, and he feels bad lying to her, or pretending that he’s not doing something big like this for her.

He wants her to know, but he also doesn’t want to spoil the surprise. He knows she’ll love it (she’s been talking about wanting to get out of the city and visiting the smaller, quieter nature-near towns elsewhere in the country), but still he frets, hoping he’s doing this right. After all, it’s not like he’s had all that much practice celebrating birthdays, whether his own or others; his family life had been far too harsh to allow for birthday joy. But he wants her to have a wonderful, special time with him, and feel the depths of his love, so he buckles down and makes the necessary arrangements.

“That’s funny,” his girlfriend says, hanging up the phone and turning to him, her brow knotted a little, “That was work.”

“Mm? What’d they say?”

“They said that I don’t need to come in next week; something about the office being closed for fumigation.”

“Odd,” Miguel says, trying not to smile at his own cleverness– he’d called in for her and asked for her to have the week off, then asked his beloved’s friend, the receptionist, to tell that fib– then joins her, tangling fingers together.

“But I suppose it’ll be nice to have you all to myself for the week,” he continues, softly petting her cheek and winking at her. “Birthday’s coming up and all, so… perhaps the lovely lady wants a whole week’s worth of festivities?”

“Oh, lord, no,” she snorts, batting his hand playfully.

“Really,” teases Miguel, “No week-long bacchanalias? No swinging-from-the-chandeliers Gatsby-grade galas? No exorbitant gold and jewel-encrusted tiaras to mark the birthday princess’s passing through the streets?”

“Miggy, come on!”

“I know, I know,” he abates, kissing her cheek. “But at least promise to let me take you to dinner, hmm?”

“Dinner would be a delight,” and she punctuates her sentence with a peck on his lips before sighing and relaxing her head onto his shoulder, swaying with him for a moment.

Miguel puts a hand on her head and strokes along her hair, admiring the texture, the weight, the scent and warmth of her. She cuddles into him, and he kisses her forehead, silently soothing her.

When her birthday finally rolls around, Miguel puts on a nice suit– not overfancy, but still good enough to let her know he considers the occasion upscale– and takes her to dinner at a quiet, higher-end restaurant. They talk over dinner, laughing and sharing stories, anecdotes from the week, memories. As they’re paying the bill, polishing off the last remnants of their plates, Miguel casually mentions that he wants to leave Nueva York, get some fresh air.

“We could go,” she says quietly, moving some garnish around on her empty plate with her fork, hesitant. “I have the week off, you know, and we could just… I dunno, get in the car, go on a road trip? Get a motel, I dunno…”

“Sweetie,” Miguel offers, taking her hand and suppressing a laugh, “I assure you, a motel will not be necessary.”

“Do you… not want to go? It’s okay, it was a silly idea, anyway–”

“Don’t be so hasty,” says Miguel as he reaches into his coat, pulling out an envelope, his smile so wide that his fangs are visible. “I never said I didn’t want to go.”

He places the envelope on the table and nudges his chin at it, a nonverbal cue for her to open it. She looks between him and the envelope, almost as if waiting, but slowly opens it and pulls out its contents.

Two airline tickets and a receipt of reservation at a hotel out in the countryside, far, far from Nueva York. She looks at the names on the tickets: hers and Miguel’s, side by side. She blinks, then looks back at him, her eyes beginning to water.

“Miggy, really?”

“All paid for, set and ready. The plane’s scheduled for tomorrow, if you’re ready.”

“I… I don’t know what to say!”

“A ‘yes’ and ‘let’s rush home to pack bags and then do some birthday canoodling’ would be music to my ears,” Miguel jokes, putting his chin in his hand and grinning at her. “But if it’s a ‘no’, I can get refunded on all of this and buy you something better.”

“Miguel, there couldn’t be anything better than being with you,” she smiles, leaning over the table to kiss him enthusiastically. “Let’s go, let’s get our bags! Oh, I just can’t wait!”

“Me either! A hotel room all to ourselves… think of the mischief we’ll make!”

“Miggy!”

He laughs as they stand from the table and rush to head home, her hand in his, an adventure awaiting them. She seems to gleam with anticipation, her eyes glittering with mirth and impatience, and Miguel’s heart beats fast to see her so gloriously excited. He feels her pull him in for a big kiss as they hail down a taxi to get home, and his eyes fall shut, his thrill rising in his belly.

This may have been a birthday surprise for her, he thinks, but, God, is it as much a gift for himself to be with her like this.

#messages #gifset #gif warning #miguel o'hara #poe dameron #:'D thank you anon!!!!#Anonymous #im full aware that the gif i used for miggy is kane from annihilation but i needed his Face and sony has denied us that godly visage for now

10 notes · View notes

quell-tea-salon · 7 years

Text

TsukiPara translation - Kuga Ichiru scenarios

GREETINGS

When you think of autumn, you think of saury, and eggplant, and cakes with chestnuts!

Wordy books make me sleepy so I'll pass on them... I can read manga for hours though~

Whoa! G-give a warning before you touch me... That scared me.

*Yawns* ....What the heck, it's still early... I'm going back to bed...

*Stretches* Alright, time to wake up Issei!

I'm hungry.... I wonder what's for breakfast?

Issei..... Where did he go?

Mornin'! Hey, what's with that sleepy face? Cheer up!

Don't skip lunch! You gotta have real food and eat lots!

I'm definitely gonna master that dance step at dance practice today!

I'm not good with jobs that involve filming... But it's lame if I stay like that forever.

It's getting dark. Be careful on your way home! Don't stay out too late, okay?

...Is Shu coming home late again today? I know he can't help it, but... (TN: Omg his sad puppy voice ><)

Ah, this smell! Eichi must be cooking something. I'll go help out!

Have you had dinner? Make sure you eat something even when you're busy. Promise?

I think I'll go ask Issei about work.... But I don't want to keep relying on him like a kid......

Don't stay up too late! ...Though I get why you'd feel like staying up to watch TV, or play games...

Hey! Are you listening to me? (TN: If you're idle for too long)

Heeeeey! I'm bored over here! (TN: 2nd idling line fjga;gj;k he's so cute ;_;)

Hey, I'm bored! Let's do something!

After Issei gets out of the bath, he likes to go look at the stars. If you leave him to it, he’ll be out there for ages! I don’t want him to catch a cold... Maybe I’ll stick next to him and look at the stars together. (TN: This is one of the winter-specific lines. The other lines are about kotatsu.)

DORM

Schedule - Ugh! SolidS will be at this program too?! Not that I don't like them... I mean, they're my senpai, and my friends..... And I sorta think they're all amazing and respect them. Except Tsubasa! He's always messing with me! The other day, he even patted me on the head! He's treating me like a kid! ....Just watch! I'm gonna get so good at dancing and singing that I'll blow his socks off!

Food - What should I have for dinner tonight...?

(Select "yakiniku (BBQ meat)") Good idea! I love yakiniku! ......But it might be too much for Issei's stomach? Issei can't handle greasy stuff.

(Select "gratin") Oh, nice! Both Issei and I love that stuff! ......Right, I'll go ask Eichi to make us some!

(Select "soba") Soba? That doesn't really fill you up though? .....Hm? Isn't that one of Shu's favourite things to eat? It's light on the stomach, so Issei will probably like it too... I guess I should invite Shu and Eichi some time, and we can have soba together!

Reading - The manga that I borrowed from Six Gravity's Koi has a really interesting setup! ......I'll show it to Issei too!

Reading - This manga is lit! Yeah, I borrowed it from Six Gravity's Koi. Sometimes I get them from Arata too. At first, I didn't know what to expect from living in a dorm, but it's fun to get to swap books and stuff like this.

Running - Crap! I forgot about the study session with Shu! Did Issei go on ahead? I'll check his room before going!

Food - I'm not picky with food. I basically eat everything, but if I had to choose, I like hearty stuff like rice bowls (donmono) that I can chow down on and fill my stomach with.

Cooking - ......Issei and I used to live on our own, so we know how to make simple dishes. But I prefer the food that Eichi makes, and thinking back to when it was just the two of us, I think everything tastes better when we eat together as QUELL.

Phone - Ugh! I got a message from Tsubasa!? ....'Kay, I'm gonna send him some of those weird stamps that Eichi told me about!

Study - Uh............. I... hate studying. Do I have to....? I know Shu said "to be a top idol, one needs to have the knowledge and education to match"... and Issei is working hard too..... Okay, I'll do it.

Sighing - Shu sometimes says the most shocking things with a serene face, doesn't he? ......You never know what to expect.

Embarrassed - ......Shu and Eichi are both people who give out praises easily, although they go about it differently. Of course I'm happy to hear it..... But I'm not used to it, and it feels weird.

Lizz-kun - Lizz-kun........... They all have dumb faces, but you can't hate 'em. It's weird.

Angry - Damnit! What was that!?

(Select "What's wrong?") Just now, some guy bumped into Issei. He started complaining even though it was his fault. Issei kept quiet, so that guy just went on a rant. So I stepped in between them...... I hate jerks like that who force their opinion on everything!

(Select "observe quietly") I heard that the city is full of selfish assholes like that, and it turned out to be true... No, that's just an unfair stereotype. There are good guys and bad guys everywhere.

Resting - Suddenly I have all this free time. ......What should I do?

(Select "Have a meal with Issei") Even after becoming idols, we've been eating together every day. That's kinda of the norm for us. ......Welp, since I'm bored, I'll go invite Eichi and Shu too!

(Select "Dance lesson with Eichi") That's a good idea! ......I hate to admit it, but Eichi's good at dancing and giving advice. But I'm gonna catch up in no time! You better keep your eyes peeled!

(Select "Tour shrines and temples with Shu") ......Well, since I'm bored, that might not be a bad idea. Honestly though, I don't really get the fun of visiting temples. If I'm spending time with Shu, I'd rather do something else.

Drink - Looks like Eichi made some tea. Would you like some too? I'm gonna fetch Issei, so you go on ahead first.

GIFTS

Clothes - These clothes are for me? Thanks! Hey, it looks pretty cool! Huh? "This is the current trend", you say? ......I see. I don't know a lot about fashion trends or stuff like that. Of course, there are designs that I like or don't like. I know I should learn more about fashion as an idol. But you don't know what you don't know. Maybe I should ask somebody around here for advice? ...Somebody that isn't a blonde womaniser. I think Koi from Six Gravity, and You from Procellarum are into fashion? Alright, I'll go talk to them!

Cake - I can have this cake? ......Thanks. I really like cakes. Actually, before joining QUELL, my birthday was the only time I got to eat cake. Obviously Issei and I have the same birthday as twins, so we only had cake once a year. ...When Shu found out, he took it on himself to buy us cakes at any opportunity. He'd brush it off like "I just happened to walk past a bakery", and I'm too embarrassed to thank him properly.... But, I'm actually really happy, and I'm grateful to Shu. ...This is just between you and me, okay? I wanna thank Shu with my own words one day.

Umbrella - Wow, it's a big one. Thanks. The other day when I was taking a walk with Issei, we were ambushed by a gorilla rainstorm? Or is it guerilla rainstorm? ...Anyway, it suddenly started raining buckets. Neither of us had umbrellas so we were soaked in minutes. It sucked. But this umbrella is totally big enough for both of us! Thanks! ...It's strange, whenever I get my hands on a new umbrella, I find myself wishing that it'll rain soon. Come on, gorilla rainstorm!

Bandaid - Thanks! Actually, I tripped during the dance lesson just now and scraped my knee... I didn't have any bandaids on me and didn't know what to do. ......I used to get caught up in dumb fights, so I always carried around some bandaids. But now.... come to think of it, I just stopped carrying bandaids one day. Huh, this is a surprise. Slowly but surely, I'm actually changing. I found out something good about myself!

PAIR CONVOS

ICHIRU AND SHU (1)

Ichiru: "Hi, I'm Lizz-kun. Nice to meet you, Ichiru-kun!" .....Hahaha, yeah right.

Shu: ... ... ...

Ichiru: Whoa!? Sh, Shu!? How long have you been standing there!?

Shu: ......How could you, Ichiru. How could you do something so cute... like play with dolls by yourself! ......Stay right there, I just need to grab the SLR camera from my room!

Ichiru: Huh!!? Wait, stop! Please stop! I'd rather die than let anyone photograph me doing this!

ICHIRU AND SHU (2)

Ichiru: Huff! Ha! Hup!

Shu: You've been doing pushups for a while.

Ichiru: Yeah.... I saw Eichi's abs the other day and it kinda shook me......

Shu: Yes, Eichi's abdominal muscles are well-balanced in definition, and beautifully masculine.

Ichiru: It's not fair that he has a six pack! ...While I'm just starting to get a hint of muscle. I'm gonna train so hard that I'll get a six... no, a twelve pack!

Shu: I don't think it's physically possible to get a twelve pack.... But it's good that you're putting in the effort.

ICHIRU AND EICHI (1)

Icchi: Yo! ...Eichi, what do you think of this pose?

Eichi: You look really cool!

Icchi: ....Eichi, you've just been saying "cool" or "cute" for every pose I make!

Eichi: But I mean it! I'm not lying or trying to flatter you!

Icchi: I'm trying to pick a trademark pose! ...You're not helping when you praise everything I do. I need to hurry up and become a hot badass and blow the socks off that womaniser blondie! ......Nevermind, I'll go ask Shu instead.

Eichi: No need to rush, you're already growing up into a handsome man! ...Besides, I really don't think you'll get different results from Shu.

ICHIRU AND EICHI (2)

Icchi: Ah~ I'm so hungry......

Eichi: I have just the thing for you, Icchi! Here, my newest gratin recipe!

Icchi: Oh, good timing! Thanks for the food! ......!? Th, this is...! Really good! The gratin is delicious too, but the curry sauce inside is just the right amount of sweet and spicy and matches it perfectly!

Eichi: Wow... It must be really delicious if even QUELL's resident tsundere is showering it with praise. So worth the effort of buttering up Procellarum's Mr. Curry to share the recipe with me......

#kuga ichiru #QUELL #tsukipro #proani #tsukipara #translation: characters #translation

49 notes · View notes

littlelovelymemes · 7 years

Text

✰ * º ❛ buzzfeed unsolved sentence starters ( pt. five ) ❜

( part of the youtube starter series )

‘ spoiler alert: it’s probably aliens. ’ ‘ bad idea. ’ ‘ i’m considering him a suspect. ’ ‘ i’m considering him a suspect. her son’s feeding her sedatives. yeah, he was like, ‘go on mother, eat these pills.’ ’ ‘ you just made this go so much more dark than it needed to be. ’ ‘ well, i just don’t trust this boy. ’ ‘ yeah, have some pills, smoke this cigarette. goodnight. ’ ‘ this is a very irresponsible landlady. if your tenant’s apartments smell like smoke, maybe check in on ‘em. ’ ‘ if your tenant’s apartments smell like smoke, maybe check in on ‘em. ’ ‘ this is gonna get a little morbid, but who’s to say that a burning body doesn’t small like barbecue? ’ ‘ no, of course it doesn’t make sense, it’s weird! ’ ‘ has any skull shrunk at any other point in history? ’ ‘ now you’re acting like a detective and not like a jackass. ’ ‘ you don’t think it’s weird that all of her was gone except for a skull, parts of the spine, and a fucking foot that was still completely intact like nothing happened? ’ ‘ i bet if george clooney was on the tonight show and you set him on fire, one of his feet would burn, and the other one would probably still be planted there on the floor in a very nice shoe. clooney’s flammable. ’ ‘ clooney is probably flammable, you’re probably right. ’ ‘ so, a fire that was too hot for firemen did not damage her apartment? ’ ‘ too much fire here. what do i look like, a fireman? ’ ‘ soot and a foot. that’s all they got, huh? soot, foot, and a cup skull. ’ ‘ that’s a bizarro version of a dr. seuss book right there. ’ ‘ the foot did not catch on fire... one of ‘em anyway. that other one? phew. donezo. ’ ‘ the first theory... is ridiculous. i’m just gonna say that right now, it’s ridiculous. ’ ‘ i don’t trust anyone who says, ‘it seen it happen.’ that sounds like a country bumpkin if i’ve ever heard one. ’ ‘ it seen it! i seen it with my own two eyes! ’ ‘ i seen it happen while i was playing my banjo! ’ ‘ yeah-- well, okay... keep going. ’ ‘ can you imagine just being out, having a good night with your pals, drinkin’? and you know, toward the end of the night when you’re like, ‘yeah, what a fun night this has been,’ can you imagine just exploding? just catching on fire. all your pals would be like, ‘huh?’ not a good night. for him or his friends. ’ ‘ is it very european to burst into flames? ’ ‘ put that pen down. you look like a jackass. ’ ‘ a lot of people explodin’ in europe. something you might wanna look into. this runs deep. ’ ‘ when i think spontaneous combustion, i think, like, ‘bam!’ like a popped balloon, just shards of person just exploding. ’ ‘ that asshole in fantastic four? what do you have against him? ’ ‘ if my clothes are on fire i’ll do a little dance to try and get ‘em out, stop, drop, and roll, what have ya. ’ ‘ maybe she just passed out or died or something. ’ ‘ i’ve never had a doctor speak to me like that. i would love it if i showed up and a doctor just started unraveling strange little tales. ’ ‘ the answer could lie with extraterrestrial origin. ’ ‘ what if aliens just get drunk and fly around the universe and shrink people’s skulls and turn them into little piles of ash? ’ ‘ i can see how aliens would be involved in kind of like shenanigans and be hooligans. ’ ‘ i don’t even smoke, but i would love to have one last cig before i go. ’ ‘ this is a weird case! this is just sinking in! what are we doing here?! ’ ‘ what if we’re just lab rats to these aliens? ’ ‘ they’re gonna shrink her into a little tiny titty. ’ ‘ no... no. what’s the matter with you? ’ ‘ if you used voodoo for evil, you would kill me!? you would murder me?! ’ ‘ it’s a hypothetical, i wasn’t thinking of doing that. ’ ‘ sometimes we argue, but i don’t want to murder you. ’ ‘ i never said i wanted to murder you! ’ ‘ you wanna kill me! ’ ‘ this is a hypothetical situation! ’ ‘ alright, yeah, no. continue to tell me about it now that i know you want me dead. ’ ‘ i think you might intellectualize too much. ’ ‘ so this is kind of a night out... with spirits. ’ ‘ wha-- you look so scared already. ’ ‘ i do find that more compelling than any of the other dumb ‘evidence’ you’ve dug up. ’ ‘ any time i can get you to do that shrug, it means i make a great point. it’s a great point. it makes me heart warm. ’ ‘ i’m gonna buy you one of those haunted dolls for christmas. ’ ‘ put away your fear and just focus on what you feel. ’ ‘ i’m bad at feeling. i really wanna believe in something outside the norms of, you know, physics. ’ ‘ i took an improv comedy class once because... well, i’m a white guy. ’ ‘ so, the takeaway here is... every little sound is a ghost? ’ ‘ the takeaway here is that sounds that don’t belong in that environment may or may not be ghosts. ’ ‘ my jacket just moved in a way that it felt like somebody touched me on the shoulder and i think if you had felt it, you would scream. ’ ‘ wait, what? that was never part of the bargain. ’ ‘ a lot of times i just do these because i know you’ll hate it. ’ ‘ i feel like i’m gonna fucking cry. ’ ‘ i don’t wanna talk about it. i wanna leave. ’ ‘ i think you need to learn how to shut the hell up. ’ ‘ i think you need to learn how to shut the fuck up... i stepped it up with the bigger curse word there. ’ ‘ i’m not even trying to be a jerk about this, i’m just getting tired of you asking me if i get scared about things i don’t believe in. ’ ‘ it’s like asking me if i’m concerned that, when i fall asleep, the moon turns around and winks at me with a big, evil face and has a boner or something. ’ ‘ tell me what’s more probable: the moon having a boner or a ghost being real. ’ ‘ the dark side of the moon just has a giant, dusty boner. that’s about as real as ghosts. ’ ‘ now we’re heading into the belly of the beast. ’ ‘ i’m excited. this is maybe he only time i believe in what you’re talking about. ’ ‘ bigfoot’s meat and bone. ’ ‘ no, that’s dumb. it’s not supernatural, it’s natural. ’ ‘ this is the heaviest sandwich i’ve ever embraced. ’ ‘ my organ’s are starting to shut down. i’ll be dead in five minutes. i think i might need to go to the hospital. ’ ‘ could you imagine being the guy who coined the phrase ‘bigfoot’? ’ ‘ ain’t that like a couple of funny brothers... destroying their father’s legacy. ’ ‘ don’t make bigfoot believe in your little ghostly energies bigfoot is meat and bone. ’ ‘ i don’t think that’s how bigfoot rolls. ’ ‘ the vest is gonna make me look more festive... and i won’t get shot, so there’s that. that’s an added bonus. having fun getting shot. i’m not gonna help you. ’ ‘ having fun getting shot. i’m not gonna help you. ’ ‘ you honestly think we’re going to encounter a sasquatch, the sasquatch is going to attack you and your life is going to be saved because you’re wearing a helmet? it’s gonna bring a rock down upon your head, we’re gonna get it on film, and we’re gonna say, ‘thank god you had your helmet on your head.’ ’ ‘ i think we’re ready to rock and roll, man. ’ ‘ you look like an idiot. ’ ‘ if i see people taller than me i get concerned about them because i think they’re gonna die young. ’ ‘ i wasn’t fat-shaming bigfoot. i was just mentioning that this is a creature of enormous strength. ’ ‘ his name is cedric. he struck me as a cedric when i first saw him after i destroyed his apartment. ’ ‘ well, if it’s any consolation, you look like an idiot. ’ ‘ i think it’s time for a little beer break. ’ ‘ if a bigfoot actually walked out right now, this would be the greatest thing ever captured on camera, if we lured out a bigfoot with a beer. ’ ‘ they said that... i agree, but they meant it more, so hit them! ’ ‘ nah. this guys inhaling too many... cat... shit... fumes. ’ ‘ yeah, this is all jolly right now, but can you imagine what this is gonna be like at night? ’ ‘ it is a very old piece of footage, but so is... die hard. still good. ’ ‘ i’m saying just ‘cause something’s good doesn’t mean it’s bad, or-- ’ ‘ that’s a completely different train of thought. what the fuck is going on here? ’ ‘ (wheezing and laughing) it’s been a long day. ’ ‘ now you look like a man i would never talk to under any circumstance. ’ ‘ don’t judge a book by it’s cover? it’s a hell of a cover. this place is beautiful! ’ ‘ i don’t wanna kill the vibe, but we could just turn the lights on, it’s a hotel. ’ ‘ holy shit! it’s a jacuzzi tub! ’ ‘ this is the best place we’ve ever ghostbusted. ’ ‘ like a ghost sitcom? sign me up! ’ ‘ well, he can go to hell. ’ ‘ oof. i don’t even wanna talk about that evening. ’ ‘ i stole this off the woman who died in the titanic! ’ ‘ ...shadows do tend to follow you, though. that’s sort of how they work. ’ ‘ you gotta fuckin’ calm down, man! ’ ‘ ghost 101. week one, knock books off shelf. week two, uhh, hold a candlestick in the middle of a hallway. week three... sheets. ’ ‘ this is one of the best days of my life. ’ ‘ i freaked out because i thought something flew in front of me, but come to think of it, it could’ve been the reflection of my light turning off. ’ ‘ you know, a ghost has probably whispered point blank in your ear, but you’ve probably never heard it because you were too busy going, ‘ugh ugh okay, oh, what did i do? oh, what did i do? i always get myself into these things ooo.’ ’ ‘ are we doing more of this or can i use the jacuzzi hot tub that we’ve been blessed with? ’ ‘ are we gonna spend the night here and not use the jacuzzi? ’ ‘ the jacuzzi jets don’t work... we’re just two guys sitting in a tub. ’ ‘ yeah... it’s daft punk. the dj’s daft punk came into our suite at night and gave me a little diddy, that’s what happened. ’ ‘ it’s not haunted. i know it’s not haunted. it’s not haunted. ’ ‘ you’re like a stupid string puppet that i can just bring along with me and i can pull it when i wanna hear something dumb. ’ ‘ no-- they’re. no. no. nope. ’ ‘ the ball also stopped at the ‘i love pot’ graffiti, so maybe this ghost just loves to blaze it. ’ ‘ wha-- what are ya doin’? ’ ‘ look it up. it’s a thing on the internet. ’ ‘ who are you pointing to? ’ ‘ i bet i could squeeze an apple till it exploded. ’ ‘ you hear that in the distance? it’s the excuse train coming. ’ ‘ great. that’ll be good. i’m gonna snap that. ’

#ask meme #sentence starters #indie rp #inbox meme #rp meme #askbox meme #rp sentence meme #sentence starter meme #rp sentence starters #rp ask meme #rp ask box meme #inbox memes #rp inbox meme #yt*

907 notes · View notes

archiviiste · 6 years

Text

2018 Resolutions

2017 was the best year of my life, it was so extremely good despite being so extremely bad at times, and I’ve come out of it a completely different person than I was at the beginning. After reading things I wrote a year ago, I can barely even recognize myself, and for that I’m grateful. I grew so much this year and made so many amazing memories, experienced both so many fantastic and horrifying things. For the first time in my life, I’m happy with the way I’ve ended the year, happy with the things I’ve accomplished and people I’ve met and memories I’ve made and growth I’ve achieved. This year, and the past couple of weeks especially, have really made me realize the things I want to further achieve or continue to nurture in myself and my relationships and my lifestyle this year. 2018 is going to be another life changing year, I can feel it, and I’m so excited for what’s to come. So with that, here are all the things I want to work on in 2018!

Personal Growth:

1. Live softly and openly: more authentically and honestly. Accept and embrace all emotions instead of trying to suppress and ignore them, even (especially) the negative ones. If someone close to you does something to hurt you, tell them (in a non accusatory way of course)!! Communicate with your loved ones more openly and healthily, especially your partner!! Be thankful. Be kinder to yourself and more accepting of you and your emotions. This is the year of openness and self love! Sing out loud when others are around, laugh more, worry less, speak your mind, allow yourself to make mistakes, don’t hold grudges and let things go, live your life full of warmth and softness and thankfulness and acceptance and love!! Focus on healing, work harder on making progress in therapy, be at peace

2. Be more spiritual. You tried leaving your spirituality behind this year but it just doesn’t work, it’s part of you. You’re connected to the forces in this earth whether you like it or not, so you might as well learn the best way for you personally to embrace them and learn from their energy and influence. Learn more about baha’i, connect with the temple in your city, maybe it’s the path for you. Pray more, give thanks, ask for guidance. Learn more about witch craft and crystals and herbalism. Get more comfortable with mindfulness meditation and practice yoga regularly again

3. Get back into running and working out. Exercise really does help your mental health, last spring you worked out almost every day and your mind had never been healthier and it hasn’t been that healthy since then. If your body is in shape, your mind will be in shape too

4. Go a year without dieting/trying to lose weight. You’ve come a long way, huh? This is the first time you’ve ever gone into a year comfortable enough with yourself and your recovery progress that you don’t feel the need to lose weight. Try to maintain that for a year, we want this to be the first year without an ED relapse, you can do it!! Don’t count calories, don’t restrict, eat when you’re hungry, eat what you want. Obviously don’t just let your diet go to shit, you don’t want to become physically unhealthy by only eating shit, but don’t be too strict about only eating “healthy” foods. Eat your fruits and veggies, try your best, but the occasional junk food day won’t be the end of the world. Also cook even more this year and bake more cakes and breads and such.

5. Go a year without self harming. You both set a record of 296 days, and had more relapses than usual this year. Try to break the record this year and not do it at all.

6. Don’t drink or smoke when you’re feeling self destructive. I’m not gonna say never get drunk or high, but don’t do it when you’re not in a good state of mind, because then it just turns into an act of self harm. Try to drink in moderation most of the time, but it’s fine to party once in a while if you’re in an ok/good state of mind

7. Practice your languages again. Get back into Japanese and Italian, get your love to teach you more Chinese. Learn even more about Italian culture, customs, and traditions--get back to your roots, learn more about his roots as well

Self care:

1. Practice skincare and haircare again. Get your skincare routine back, but lean more towards natural products and be more minimalist about it. Still try to do a mask once or twice a week tho and moisturize regularly. Learn more about haircare, find natural shampoo and conditioner, learn about co-washing and oils and natural diy masks and do those regularly. Nail care too! Also more candles and more baths with flower petals and oils/salts.

2. Braid your hair more. When you’re feeling sad, braid the sadness into your hair to release it from your body. Lessons from the old country

3. Read more poetry and good books. Be laid back about it, if you don’t like a book, or don’t feel like finishing one, don’t force yourself! Just move on to the next one!

4. Treat yoself. Acquire more nice lingerie, maybe get your tattoo and/or a piercing. Buy more flowers, get more plants for the apartment. Maybe take a trip with your love and his friends later in the year

Adulting:

1. Graduate uni and find a real job!! Also figure out eventual grad school stuff, and take the GRE if applying to grad school in the fall. Figure out your future career path, probably child/teen psych or school counseling. Find a job hopefully related to those, but take anything that’s full time and has benefits and pays the bills and allows you to live comfortably and save money and not live paycheck to paycheck constantly worrying about money for the love of GOD

2. Find a (more permanent?) place to live. Yo lease is up 6 months from today, hopefully you can find a better job before that so you’ll know ur price range

3. BUDGET!!! Your mind is so much more peaceful when you budget and you know whether or not you’ll make rent without worrying all the time, start being strict about this again

4. Finally sell your old clothes and pawn the two rings you want to get rid of. A little extra money never hurt

5. Clean social media, phone, computer, and music library. Declutter yo

Relationship:

1. Finally have ~the talk~ with the bf. See if we’re on the same page about future goals and expectations and where we’re headed. Pretty sure we are but we still need to talk about it lmao. Talk about moving in now or eventually before my lease is up

2. Finally cum with him. I have no problem doing it on my own, but I’ve never been able to do it with him and I know it’s a mental issue on my part from all my trauma and personal issues, but I’ve really been trying to work on it and I’ve been getting so close and he’s working so hard I really wanna give him this and experience it with him this year, hopefully soon

3. Help him start his counselling journey for his issue I’m so happy he’s working to overcome this, but he’s not that comfortable talking about it so he’s gonna need a lot of help and support and it’s probably gonna be a long journey for both of us but he’s worth it

4. Continue to nurture a healthy and strong relationship with him! Communication is neither of our strong points but we’re both trying our best and we’re both getting better at it every day. Relationships are hard work, you gotta constantly work to keep them healthy and strong, but they’re so worth it oh my god i love him so much and i’m so excited for this year with him

#weight loss mention #ed tw #self harm tw #diet tw #orgasm/sex mention #alcohol/weed mention #religion mention #2018 resolutions #tbd #probably lol #but i always post these so i gotta do it this year too #feels good to write them out #it's going to be a soft and beautiful year #full of change and love

1 note · View note

graphiterose · 7 years

Text

tagged by my dude @rickdavisgoldanddiamonds

Were you named after anyone? Yeah, both of my grandmothers. When was the last time you cried? Thursday Do you like your handwriting? I like how I write my “G”s and lowercase “y”s but other then that can’t say I do What’s your favorite lunch meal? I don’t really know. I can’t say that I eat lunch often, or breakfast. Do you have kids? Nope no thanks If you were a different person, would you be friends with you? I’d like to hope so Do you use sarcasm? Yeah, I often try and use it as a main form of humor so if I say something that I realize is too mean I can play it off as being sarcastic. I make up for it by being nice though, I swear. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes Would you bungee jump? Yeah, maybe? What’s your favorite cereal? Cinnamon Toast Crunch Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Depends on the shoe, but usually no. Do you think you are a strong person? Physically? No, I can barely lift a piece of louon board. Emotionally? I try my hardest. I think I am, but there can be times where my anxiety gets the best of me. What’s your favorite ice cream? Coffee or Butter Pecan. A+ What’s the first thing you notice about people? Probably their height or level of maturity What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself? Oho the list could go on and on. Most of the things that I don’t like about myself are based off of myself as a young child, even though I know they’re not actual problems. I’m gonna go with a lighter one and say that my hair is boring. Too straight. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Black and none What are you listening to right now? Uuuh the sounds of the ICC? If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Name wise, my name is like a light blue. Robins Egg but a tad lighter. Personality wise, probably a mustard or green. I don’t really know I just like colors. Favorite smell? Vanilla, vanilla extract, rubbing alcohol. Who was the last person you talked on the phone with? I think my great aunt or my neighbor. Favorite sport to watch? Soccer or Football, depending. I don’t watch sports on my own at all. Hair color? Blonde Eye color? Green Do you wear contacts? Nope Favorite food? Listen, ya gotta narrow it down. I can’t choose just one. Give me a category. Scary movie or comedy? Comedy Last movie you watched? The Last Five Years. I watched it with my mom and she was upset that it was a sad movie. What color shirt are you wearing? Black Summer or winter? Winter, it’s colder. Hugs or kisses? Hugs, they’re warmer. Book you’re currently reading? Technically a book about the Holocaust for English class, but I haven’t actually. Who do you miss right now? My best friend from elementary school. It’s been a while since we’ve hung out. Her and my best friend from preschool, haven’t seen her in a year. What’s on your mousepad? Dogs! It was made by the rescue group from which we got our oldest. They had a thing where you sent in photos of your dogs and they would choose like fifteen and put them all on one that you could buy. Paco made it on. What’s the last TV program you watched? Glee What’s the best sound? I don’t really have a specific answer, but I really like that feeling where you’re just in an area that around people, but you yourself are secluded from the other people, so all the sounds of the people and everything going on around you is kind of muffled and distant. I think that’s really something, if that makes sense. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? I don’t think I’ve actually ever heard a Rolling Stones song What’s the furthest you ever traveled? Oregon Do you have a special talent? Nothing that’s really special. I’m good at art, but that’s standard. Where were you born? Maryland. I don’t know if I was born in a hospital or not. My brother was born in a car though, and I know the spot.

Not gonna tag anyone because I’m bad at it, but if you wanna do it by all means do it and let me know so I can read about you. Coolcool :)

#personal #grace's excerpts

1 note · View note

ahnamission-blog · 7 years

Text

so today

was actually a productive day. I came across a bunch of my old accounts and was surprised to see what I had written and how much I've grown. In this time span of the past year I've made so many voice recordings and note diaries in my iclouds, onedrives, evernotes of all the things I've learned and went through but it's weird none of them are public and all my stuff is everywhere I have like 13 email accounts and then drives and clouds connected to them, which are all like different chapters of my life which I can categorize by what music I had screenshotted and what color hair I had at the time. I don't know if anyone will read this but I'm getting into a eucalyptus bath at my parents home and I guess I'll just let my mind wander. Life has changed so much, i've chang3d so much. It's amazing how much has changed, the amount of synchronicity lately has been positively overwhelming, i miss writing. It's so strange that I tried killing myself and it's almost a year from the date la st year on 9/11. It's so weird that some people close to me never even acknowledged that it happened and bullied me even after it happened. So much has happened that I can't explain, to most unawakened sleepers or cynics or skeptics it sounds like hogwash or some random name of some random mental disorder. But it's not, all of this has been so real and my heart just keeps going back to the whole reason I know any of this at all, or even was interested in it. By someone who came into my life and presence has lingered long after his departure, leaving me with the desire to be kind to everyone I meet. Ugh I'm rambling. It's amazing how much you can miss someone or just wonder how they are, thinking about things I'd ask if given the chance or just being happy with the opportunity to listen, even as a friend. Why did I have to....ugh. anyways, it's weird that I tried to kill myself I guess. It's crazy that I stabbed myself and am still here, it changed me completely and it's even stranger that after getting out of the hospital that I just fell back into old things: facebook, instagram, caring what people think, and it's the strangest that ever since that suicide attempt that I've been met with so much rudenss, dog comments, ignorance and hostility....half and half comments, cup of joe, sloppy joes- all this shit. I don't sleep around yet people heckle me as if I'm a whore. I guess saving it for someone special equates to being whatever. Some people I'll never please. I don't need to, but it's different to watch the social hierarchy take place and people try to outdo each other, women hate on each other, people competing with one another or slandering each other online. A president who uses twitter.....its incredible how fake of a world we live in. And being aware of it, watching people succumb to the matrix and then being called crazy by those same people. Because I don't want to pay 600 dollars for some bag, or need a lip injection, or shop at a thrift store. Blah this is going to be a brain dump. This bath is so warm, I'm going to put the jets on. I've never had such intense incredibly lifelike dreams before in all my life, nor have I ever had to fight so hard to protect my energy or frequency, negative people exhaust me to no end. There's energy vampires and it's such a real thing but anyone who is one will play into the facade that it doesn't exist. I'm just letting all my thoughts go, it's been so long since I painted. I miss it. I can't believe I let myself gain so much weight, i used to be a dancer. Being in this body is hell. I miss flexibility, twirling, moving like an instrument to the rythym. I still dance but mostly alone and I realized how awkward I am in my own skin. Someone told me why am I telling my story, stop telling people I almost killed myself. Like Buzz off it's my story to tell and if you don't like it don't listen. It's amazing to watch people treat me like shit and then become offended when I distance myself from their bad vibes. This left and right sided war is some sorta bullshit that I can't even categorize but is so blatantly obvious that I feel like a fool for even touching the topic. Basically I'm unlearning all I had learned - the false histories, the dogmas and doctrines of belief systems built on lies and contradiction. It's amazing to see how tall the wall they built is. I'm so in love with someone who probably forgot I existed, but my heart has never recovered from it. And I believe in unconditional love and I know everything happens for a reason, still, it's incredible to see what real love is capable of doing to a person, or for one. Music is everything. I find peace in music, water, poetry & the stars. It's incredible to know how many people have made rumors against me, i've been called everything in th3 book by now from schizophrenic to batshit crazy to some sorta mental disorder that exists in .003% of the population. And I'm just amazed people buy into the lies and rumors at almost 30 years old, and then I know people double my age who are on the same bullshit and all I can think of Holy God Almighty, not to be disrespectful to YOU Lord but to think of an existence full of rumors and gossip after 55_60 years of life sounds like living hell. It amazes me people care that much what others are doing. It's sad. It's even sadder to know some miserable people try to bring down someone who tried killing herself. But I guess misery loves company. It's a mentality - divide and conquer agendas create it. I wanna do acid, i should meditate. I've had SO many intense dreams lately, dreams seem more r3al than life itself. I always try to find him but it's so hard to get to him it's like someone is always in the way and I wonder why it has to be this way. I'm so happy for my sister she's found the love of her life in h3r best fri3nd. I wish it was that easy and accepted for me, but it is this war. A war against true love or something, some war against me and I don't know why. All I know is I'm the last to know everything and all my family has lied to me and continues to. I never got an answer to how they knew I stabbed myself when my parents ran into a room I was quietly bleeding out in, peacefully, finally able to leave and everything was shifting and it was so beautiful. It felt like I was finally going home to somewhere I belonged. It's ironic because I have so many spirit guides and synchronicity but I'm a deeply neurotic and paranoid person because I am so accustomed to being lied to that I question myself constantly. Learning to be in my own company is interesting. I go back to my apartment and there's new food in the fridge, things are out in different places it's common now. They don't respect my privacy now as they never did but I can't even bring it up because all I get are lies and cover ups like always. So I let it go because what else can I do, i should have known it going into it. Nothing I have is really mine, just a reminder to feel owned by someone or something somewhere else in the world. My father farted when I tried to kill myself. After stabbing myself with an 8 inch knife and they all lie. I'm so used to it Its so sad, i was the last to know that the collective consciousness was a thing and to this day they don't admit it. My entire life is a sham, the only thing that truly belongs to me are my heart and my mind and there's no way I'm letting them take those two from me. No matter how many people are against me. All I gotta say is some people in my bloodline literally don't even treat me like a blood relativ3, it's sad and I feel bad for them that they march around being mad negative light drainers who are angry crabby and fucking rude. And those same fucking people will be r3ading everything I post like hey, get a fucking life of your own instead of talking about and putting down mine fuck3r. Go read something you enjoy. Ugh. Meditate. Count to 10. Inc3nse. Candles. Tarot. Energy readings. Mindfulness. The Power of presence. I know, i know, emotions are just visitors let them come observe them and watch them leave don't become identified with them. But some people be all up in my energy, thoughts, business, postings, and dreams like ?!?!?!?! If I'm such a schizophrenic batshit loser you must surely hav3 something better to do with your time and energy than be concerned with how I'm spending mine. Then it hits me that I attract the frequency I emit so I must vibratehigher. The high self and the low self.soul and ego. Wisdom versus carnal desire. This world is truly crazy but it's nice to know so many people are waking up. Crickets chirp an unrehearsed melody as I turn bath jets off, traffic whirs by in the background. Silence. Stillness. How many times I've found myself here. Despite distraction, or social media or trying to answer to a higher calling....of some sort. Why does that dog always bark. And WHY do I know so many fake people. But th3n I've met a lot of humbl3, kind, awakened individuals on this journey that I hardlyknew yet extended their kindness. I miss him so much. All of this was for him, i've never cared so much for someone. Duolingo or something, i go to bed everynight hoping to see him. Some say I'm delusional for beli3ving in us or holding on this long without physical logical concrete scientific evidence. And I've been skeptical, because could anyone really love me that deeply even at my darkest? I don't know but I have chosen to believe in this, and that it will all work out and that the best is yet to come and to have faith and trust the process and hold the vision and. Honestly I am so grateful because I had no idea how powerful love was. Or surrender. But here I am, in a bath typing out a bunch of thoughts as they splatter across my consciousness. And it's so much bigger than any one part, its like we're all fractals. And were all waves, seemingly separate but all part of something more. With so much depth And unexplored territory.....and it's so beautiful why would anyone wanna hide it or keep it secret? Because then people would be aware of their power. God I missed writing. So much has happened so much has changed. I'm so sick of them trying to quiet me or interrupt me or distract me and my thought or energy or dreams or what3ver. I mean everyone can hear my thoughts and no one talks about it yes hi train beeping in the distance, i love you! This esp thing is so obvious, my parents were so mad when I was friends with Angie and she was communicating with me through thought or esp or heard my thoughts. They keep trying to keep it secret and it's a complete and total fail because I have a big mouth and my patience has reached it's bullshit tolerance so now im just gonna put it all out there. Which just prov3s that anyone whose trying to mask the truth with a lie shouldn't be trying to make my life seem like some big huge bullshit story of a farce when your life and reality can b3 ruined with something as simple as the honest to God truth. And the truth is we can all communicate through ESP and telepathy and the Collective consciousness exists and a bunch of peopl3 are ascending and evolving and feeling he frequencies and shifts on a planetary level, some sooner than others and I was the last one to know but now I know so don't be mad that I'm sharing the knowledge because to be honest I never really know what it going on in a collective state but I do know my own body and mind and the shifts and changes it has went through in the past few months and this is a real thing and no amount of tweets or toupees or annoyingly consistent drawer of red neckties or some random wall on an imaginary bord3r is going to distract the Collective awakened community from the reality that humanity as a whole is traveling towards a high3r evolutionary conscious state. And this divide and conquer agenda, organized social media & news, weather manipulation, water fluoridation, chem trail bullshit is going to hide th3 fact that you couldn't keep this lie a secret for ever and you're just mad the truth is seeping out and it's fine that it's being ridiculed right now with #woke bullshit but it is common knowledge that things are ridiculed, then acknowledged, then experienced, then witnessed as being self evident. So what's up from dat third eye. Lol I mean really. Synchronicity is off the charts right now man like kablam! And I'm expected to be serious as half of my mind doesn't even belong to m3 but is shared with a collective party? The one thing I know that my teacher taught me is consciousness can be controlled if you don't know who you are. Mind control is an actual thing. Energy vampires totally exist. All we have is energy, frequency and vibration. And that's all that we are. But knowing that information is powerful because then you start to emit your own frequency rather than picking up others. You start vibrating higher to detach from lower levels of self, ego self, and start vibrating with your higher self and higher purpose and therefore you are in a place, energy wise, where only that vibration can reach you at. And it's fucking magical!!!! I'm tired. I've been up since, well over 24 hours. Had 2 large pumpkin spice lattes, took 600 mg of seroquel and 2 attivan and didn't sleep. Smart choices. But I was like no hll no I'm not missing another beautiful day sleeping through it, and I organized so much stuff! And my mom and I made so much food for the week together it was pretty cute. Anyways idk. Now I'm thinking of him and I'll probably get all sappy and try to duolingo it to get some sort of......him. idk. To be honest, it's my total vulnerable topic. So I could easily shut off right now or switch topics but.....im feeling ballsy. Lol. Idk. I mean, could this all be real with him? Deep down I hope so that's all I could ever want or hope for. I mean, all this has happened and it is for a purpose. I just hope he is part of it, but it's so private but I've made it so public without really meaning to but I guess it is no secret and I guess everyone knows already so I guess I'll just surrender, i love him, and let it be what it is. Hmm that's different lol anyways I wonder what this week will be like. I wonder if I'll meet someone whose like heyyyyyy heard your thoughts through the Collective Conscious and dope thoughts man, dope thoughts. Like can't we just talk like that? Or is everyone too busy retweeting some sentence about some dumb society hierarchy bullshit that's meant to serve as a distraction from reality? Wake da fup.....but literallyit took me forevs to wake up. Acid helped. I wonder how DMT is like, anyone got the hookup? I could use a trip! Anyways it feels nice being myself again and talking like myself or typing I should say, even if no body reads this at least I was able to write about something real without someone trying to stop me from speaking truth. Anyways wherever you are, if you're reading this, i miss you and hope you are happy. That's all for now folks <3 namaste

#collectiveconsciousness

5 notes · View notes

almaasi · 7 years

Note

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

62 notes · View notes