#I thought everyone who liked mint was just fucking insane
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Hey hi hello umm. Apparently I may or may not be allergic to mint, turns out
#toast tries to talk#I thought everyone who liked mint was just fucking insane#like people who like spicy stuff are insane#and like#it’s NOT supposed to feel like that??#wack
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I was so weird about lesbian sex for a long time because when I was 14 I hooked up with an older girl at bible camp and suddenly got my period during it and I was so embarassed but she didn't care so we kept going and then I suddenly got a severe nosebleed for no reason while I was on top of her kissing her and you can imagine how that went so there was my blood everywhere all over both of us and this sounds like I'm making shit up but it was insane and k i was panicking but she was like all about it so we just kept going and like it was too late, there was already blood on both of us! Like all over us. and I thought it was kind of powerful. so I let myself get blood all over the cabin. we were feverish. At first I just let my nosebleed drip on the floor and we both laughed like fuck this place yeah lets get blood everywhere. And we did. This is just what makes us girls. We had this cabin entirely to ourselves too for 3 whole nights!! They didn't check on us in there even once!!! Not even the counselors wanted to be near us- we had wanted to be alone and not participate in the religious activities so we told everyone we were sick, however the absolutely insane family who single-handedly ran the camp (the mom was rarely seen of course but the dad was this freaky cult-leader type preacher named Greg, and they had ummmm I think 15 kids or something, most of whom were adults, so they had no issue running this camp on an acreage they owned with very little outsider involvement) genuinely thought we were just posessed by demons, and in response they gave us our own cabin in order to ensure that we were kept away from the other kids there. Major oversight on their part and also sounds illegal but I could tell they were scared shitless of me (weird hair I cut and dyed myself, 3 lip piercings, septum ring, mid kandi kid phase so I had rainbow bracelets up past my elbows) and the girl (who had a jugalette tattoo and was the only black girl at the camp, I think ever)... I ended up getting banned from bible camp for other reasons... lesbian sex blood rituals aside....... (a kid saw me smoking something in a pipe and snitched, and they thought it was weed but it was so obviously just mint tea...) yeah after that I was like "was god punishing me for being a lesbian by making me bleed everywhere during sex oh god I'm going to hell forever and ever waaah" because even though I didn't believe in that shit in any real way at all I still had raging paranoia about being punished for being gay... regardless I came to the conclusion that if all that bloodshed was the price of homosexuality then I'd just have to learn to enjoy it. And I was so right for that . But yeah when I did have sex again after that I was like Ok hellooooo God where is the blood are u there God...???
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ty @winningmachine 4 the tag ❤️
9 people i'd like to get to know better (except everyone i follow has already been tagged whoops >__<)
last song: haven't listened to new music in SO long i've been driving myself crazy just shuffling through my liked songs instead lol. last song i listened to was panchiko - think that's too wise, tho last song i added to my liked songs was blue smiley - coma...
favorite color: light purple / lavender / etc. and it has always been that!!! though i'm also partial 2 sunshiney yellow & mint :')
currently watching: many diff things, movie-wise i managed to sneak in poor things & american fiction RIGHT before the oscars lol... tv-wise i'm watching the curse + new abbott elementary szn + moon girl & devil dinosaur which i honestly highly recommend 2 any other animation luvrs <3 so dynamically and lovingly animated and such a charming feat of character work on top of that
spicy/savory/sweet/sour/salty: sour + sweet always!!! i will fuck up a pastry like no one else... also grew up nonchalantly eating lemons and peeling my tongue off with altoid sours so there is literally no candy out there that is too sour for me 😔
relationship status: i prefer not 2 speak dot mp4
current obsession: forever cursed to make ugly gifsets and incessantly impart to people who could not care LESS about some random 22 y/o australian formula 1 driver all of my thoughts on oscar piastri... if you are one of the people who have been unwillingly subjected to my insanity then 1) i am so sorry and 2) you should honestly be entitled to financial compensation. sorry 🥲❤️
v v v much no pressure but tagging @bright-and-burning @fldx @spiceberrie if you would like!!! <3
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Golden Boy
18+, Shawn Michaels x Billy Gunn one shot
[Also available on Archive of Our Own!]
Word count: 5054
Tags: Angst with a happy ending, self esteem issues, implied drug use, blow jobs, masturbation, condomless sex, praise kink (guess who has it. just guess.)
Summary:
Shawn Michaels' conflicting feelings for Billy Gunn are making his life a lot more difficult.
---
Looking briefly into Billy's gray-blue eyes earlier, Shawn had felt like the light was breaking through the angry storm clouds. He finally felt the warmth he'd been missing.
Author’s note:
also starring d-generation x!
shawn confirmed a bottom from his "my middle name is 'top this'!" promo. i don't make the rules
suspend your disbelief and pretend that shawn didn't take that break for a few years in the late 90s/early 00s! haha i didn't know how to reconcile that.
There was something about Billy Gunn that everyone loved. He was just a nice fucking guy. His smile was sincere, his laugh never mocking, his energy fun. The worst part about it all was that he never had to try to be that man. He just was. Nobody had a bad word to say about Gunn.
It drove Shawn insane.
So what, he was "nice"? Anybody could pretend to be nice. Shawn had managed just fine at it for years now. He was likable enough. Ever since Billy joined D-Generation X though, Shawn's facade began to crack. Fake, fake, fake. Shawn couldn't even look in a mirror at himself without picking at all his flaws. He wasn't old by any stretch of the imagination. But his hard lifestyle was going to catch up with him soon enough if he didn't slow down. When he got sick of his own face screwing up at itself, he'd lay in the dark and replay the day's events. He'd be flying high when Hunter and X-Pac nodded away at everything he said, chuckling at his jokes. The sounds would echo through the hall for everyone to hear. Eat that, Billy. You may be in the crew, but you'll never be a part of it.
Then Billy would make an offhand comment and the whole locker room would double over in pain from laughing so hard. Chyna's smile stretched from ear to ear whenever Gunn was around her. Road Dogg stuck by his side like a pathetic leech. They acted like the sun shined out of his ass.
Shawn's eyes burned in his sockets. The pain didn't even bother him any more. The muscles in jaw were shot to hell from mashing on his gum. The mint flavoring was giving him a stomach ache, flips and turns bounding around in his lower body. The acid felt like it was burning him from inside out. It was the gum. A shitty brand he didn't usually choose. That's all they had at the local gas station so he was stuck. Yes, it was definitely that and not the image of Billy standing near him in the mirror pulling his white-blond hair into a ponytail. He was chewing gum too, the muscles in his neck moving below his skin hypnotically. Shawn was 99% sure his eye twitched at the sight of it.
"Shawn… Shawn. You okay?"
Very suddenly, Gunn was face to face with Shawn. He cocked his head to the side like a puppy, the curls of his ponytail following the movement. There was concern painted on his face plainly. Shawn hated how the taller man could wear his heart on his sleeve like that. It'd been a long, long time since he could be so open. A wicked thought passed through his head, that one day Billy too would go through the same pain as him. One day he wouldn't be so happy-go-lucky. It happens to everyone. At least, that's what Shawn had to tell himself over the years.
"What? I'm fine, man."
"Okay, I just wanted to make sure. You were staring into the distance."
"Thanks." Shawn's voice was clipped. Get the fuck out of my face.
Billy couldn't seem to catch the hint. He instead leaned down to reach into his duffel bag, the smooth, tanned skin of his back shining under the harsh backstage lighting. Shawn had to shut his eyes at the sight of it.
Billy rose up with a pack of gum resting in his hand. It was Shawn's favorite brand. The bright red of the packaging signified that it was his favorite flavor too, cinnamon. The smell of it wafting off the pack and from Billy was beginning to be too much.
"Do you wanna trade? I hate cinnamon, but it's all the liquor store had left. I wanted spearmint."
Shawn dug into the pocket of his slacks for the gum. He was happy to get it off his hands. Maybe his jaw would stop hurting so bad once he got the new--
Something that felt like hot lava and the brightest strike of lightning zipped through Shawn's heart. It struck his brain and flowed down to his cock in a millisecond. The little voices in his head-- the mean one, the self-loathing one, the needy one-- all ceased.
Shawn's pupils dropped to focus on his fingers. They were… touching Billy's. While they were handing off the gum. Touching. Still.
Billy took the spearmint gum from Shawn gently. The rest of the world blurred around Gunn's figure while Shawn watched him unwrap a new piece. Billy raised the shiny silver wrapper to his lips to press his tongue, the tip of it covered in the pinkish wad of cinnamon gum, to the surface of it. Billy's tongue was at half speed as it moved back into his mouth. Like he was teasing Shawn. Wait, was he? A new piece was in his mouth now.
Shawn was pretty sure the blue was going to drain right out of his irises if he stood there straining himself any further. With no words, not even a thanks, he walked away from Billy squeezing the cinnamon gum in his fist.
Shawn could barely speak for the rest of the day. Hunter and Chyna whispered to each other about him. He didn't appreciate their lack of discretion about it. They were really loud. Might as well have just said out loud, "Shawn, what's your problem?" It's not like it was the first time he had an attitude. More often than not recently, he always had an attitude. Nobody could figure out why, so they made stuff up. The obvious rumors around the locker room were his drug problems. Yeah, okay, maybe. He had to start taking more and more Soma for it to actually work and he was incredibly irritable when he didn't have enough. It was better for them to think that he was a junkie.
In reality, it didn't have much to do with the drugs at all. The world around him was changing a lot faster than he realized. The new millennium was approaching in a flash. What did he have to show for it? The belts he'd won were nice. The media attention fueled his inflated ego. His friends had his back no matter how shitty of a person he could be. For Shawn, it was never enough. Nothing was ever enough for him. Until earlier.
The way Billy had looked at him lit something up that had been dormant for a long while. It made Shawn's head pound. Out of all the people in the whole world, it had to be Billy Gunn. Annoying, frustratingly charming, perfectly sculpted, Billy Gunn.
WWF's golden retriever of a man was no longer well pampered and doted on. Ever since Shawn's drug problem had gotten worse, McMahon punished him. He pushed him out into the street and let him fend for himself like a stray. The rain kept pouring down on him and he didn't know how to make it stop. Looking briefly into Billy's gray-blue eyes earlier, Shawn had felt like the light was breaking through the angry storm clouds. He finally felt the warmth he'd been missing. This time it felt real. This wasn't the warmth he got from McMahon, a heat lamp sort of warmth that could be switched off any time. This was the sun.
Hot tears pricked in the corners of Shawn's eyes. This was too much all at once. Thank God he could finally be alone in his hotel room. Looking into the hotel mirror he expected those self-conscious feelings to darken his features again. Instead though, his wet lashes blinked in awe at himself. There was hope. Hope…
Shawn frantically grabbed through his pockets to search for his gum. He threw his keys, wallet, pills, and jewelry out onto the bed with worry. Where was it? It was just there. He squinted at his wallet on his bed, the red pack hiding behind it. Shawn took out two pieces of it and began to chew like his life depended on it. For the first time in his life, he actually wished it was spearmint. Just so he could know how Billy's tongue tasted. The memory of Gunn's pressing his gum against his wrapper kept playing in Shawn's mind. It was so pink.
Blood rushed to Shawn's dick again. Conflicting feelings of hate, inadequacy, and lust ping-ponged in his brain. With how hard he was, he had to admit that Billy got him going in the worst way. Fine. Now he could move on from that. As if Billy would want him anyways. Even if he did, Billy wouldn't be able to handle him. That "sexy boy" stuff wasn't just for the cute little song. The one thing Shawn never lost his confidence in were his skills in bed. No matter who he was with, men or women, or if he was on top or bottom he blew everyone's mind. Whatever to the fact that it wasn't enough to make them stay. They'd never forget him and that was more important.
Shawn began to palm himself through his pants, his eyes fluttering closed and his head falling back. He tried to make the image of Billy on his knees in front of him work, but it just wasn't coming to fruition. The pieces seemed to click together when the roles were reversed. Shawn's dishwater blond hair fell out of his face as he looked up into Billy's eyes while his tongue swirled around his cock. Billy's fingers smoothed along Shawn's hair with every lick and he smiled at the man below him in that same sincere way Shawn loved. Loved to hate, of course.
The Billy of Shawn's mind was so infuriatingly gentle. He was used to the rough stuff. Sometimes that was exactly what he wanted, but other times he wished he got to be treated a little nicer. Everyone was so used to his reputation that he didn't know how to express that without looking weak. But Gunn just knew. Billy placed his hands on either side of Shawn's face, never once breaking eye contact with him. Even when Shawn took Billy's cock down his throat Billy tried his hardest not to blink.
"You're so good, Shawn. My good boy. So beautiful…"
With that, Shawn came in his pants. He thought he was going to collapse on the floor with the way his knees buckled. Falling on the bed in front him, Shawn didn't even care that his keys were poking into his stomach or that he was uncomfortably sticky. The warmth was shining down on him.
---
A week later, Shawn still couldn't get Billy out of his mind. Whenever they were on TV together he acted as normal as possible. Even when he was around all of DX at a bar or restaurant he could keep it together. Being alone with Billy was a no go. He blamed his recent up and down mood on trying to quit Soma, which everyone was surprised at. That made him feel both awful and proud of himself. No one thought he could do it. One day he really would prove that he could.
Billy was trying his best to reach out to Shawn. He was so guarded beneath that playboy exterior. Talking to the other wrestlers, the only ones who seemed to really understand why were Chyna and Hunter. They didn't go into detail but did mention that Shawn had been hurt in the past. Billy couldn't understand who would want to hurt him. Despite him having the tendency to be a huge asshole at times, there was a lot of good about Shawn. Billy liked the little flashes of Shawn's sweet personality. He appreciated how he put his all into selling it when he was in the ring. There was an it-factor about Shawn that Billy wished he had. In Billy's night sky, Shawn was the brightest and biggest star.
It was pure luck that Shawn's favorite flavor was cinnamon. He thanked every deity he could when Shawn agreed to trade flavors. With the way Shawn had been staring at him he thought that as soon as he approached him, the shorter man would knock him out. Shawn instead maintained his tightly wound demeanor, barely speaking or moving. When their fingers touched Billy was ready to grab Shawn right there. He could tell that it made Shawn feel something. He made Shawn feel something. It was confirmed when Shawn left in a rush.
Since that moment Billy hadn't been able to break through again. Whenever he tried to speak to Shawn someone interrupted the conversation. The tight little shorts he wore into the ring were doing him no favors. Every time he was around Shawn he got so hard it hurt. It was difficult to distract himself with anything besides the thought of making Shawn say his name.
Billy was shaken out of his dilemma ridden thoughts by X-Pac.
"Hey, you going out tonight with us to the bar? We're on match two of the best three out of five drinking contest, me and Hunter."
Billy laughed out loud at this. "You and Hunter? Good luck. You'll get alcohol poisoning before you win against him."
"You think so? I won a couple nights ago." Pac raised his hand up to his chin and rubbed it in deep thought. This was obviously a big source of pride for him.
"As much as I'd like to see that, I'm staying in tonight. I'm feeling a little worn out."
Pac shrugged, then patted Billy's shoulder sympathetically. "Hope you feel better, Billy. If you change your mind, we'll be downtown. We're gonna bar crawl. Page me and I'll let you know where we're at."
Billy shook his head idly while Pac walked away. He blew loose strands of his hair out of his face in frustration. There was no way he could spend another night out with Shawn pretending like he didn't have feelings for the man. Especially if both of them got drunk. He'd rather sulk alone in his room if that was the prospect. If he couldn't have Shawn sober and present when they were together, he couldn't be with him.
Shawn walked down the hallway with a lost look on his face. His own thoughts were a little jumbled up. Chyna had invited him out to the drinking contest too, jokingly begging him to come so she wouldn't have to deal with taking care of a sloshed Hunter all by herself. He turned her down with a whisper. She hugged Shawn tight and squeezed his hand.
"You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?"
Shawn sighed and nodded his head. "I know. One day I'll tell you all about it."
After that conversation, Shawn walked around the arena in confusion. He was so antsy over the last few days. It'd been a solid month since he'd had a good match. The lack of physical contact was making him feel funny. What did he have to do to prove to McMahon that he'd be in good enough shape to get back in the squared circle and be the WWF champion?
Shawn smacked right into Gunn's oiled up chest. He shook his head, his hair flying around him in soft waves. That's all it took for Billy's shorts to get tight again.
Shawn muttered out a raspy "sorry" at Billy. He was too mentally exhausted to exert any outward feelings of hate towards him. They simmered now instead of burned, the coals in Shawn's stomach finally giving out. He still strongly disliked the man, the bright sun in everyone's sky.
"That's okay. How are you?"
"I'm… fine. Why do you care?"
"You've been looking a little down lately. I'd hate for anyone in the group to be feeling bad."
So caring. There was no way anyone could actually be this good of a person. No fucking way. Shawn knew how awful people could get.
"Yeah, I'm good."
The pair stood there awkwardly. They had managed to find the one empty hallway in the whole stadium, so there was no reason to escape. Billy was the first to break the extending silence.
"You going out tonight with the rest of them? Hunter and Pac are having a drinking contest."
For the first time all day Shawn cracked a smile. "I was there the other night when Pac won. Between you and me, he cheated. He ate a big meal before going out and Hunter didn't get the chance to."
"Not surprised. As small as he is, he's not beating anyone fair."
The two men laughed at the harmless ribbing. Billy was on top of the world at Shawn's thousand watt smile. The taller man had a soft look in his eyes that made Shawn feel fuzzy.
"I'm staying in my room tonight though. Kinda tired, you know how it is."
"Definitely. I'm actually gonna stay in too."
Shawn hummed. Billy was so easy. This had to be fate. If he invited Billy to his room, they could fuck each other's brains out and Shawn could get over this weird little hate-crush he had on him. Perfect.
"Well… if you get bored, stop by my room. I'm in 1724." Shawn had that sparkle in his eyes he got whenever he was being a flirt. He dropped his eyes down to Billy's crotch, then to put the cherry on top he winked up at him playfully. Billy's mouth fell open in shock. This was really happening.
"Alright. I might take you up on that."
Might, Shawn scoffed internally.
---
Shawn wasn't nervous. Why the fuck would he be nervous about someone who calls himself Mr. Ass?
He was pacing around his hotel room because he hadn't taken any Soma in a few hours. And he was hungry. And he was trying to break in his new shoes. Not because of Billy.
As soon as he knocked on the door, Shawn ran over to open it. He looked up at Billy in his casual clothes and wanted to sigh. Shawn knew handsome. He knew it because he looked at it in the mirror everyday. But Billy was a different kind of handsome. To Shawn, Billy was football quarterback hot and just as sweet and oblivious as one. Billy probably would have laughed at hearing that. Shawn wracked his mind to figure out how to tell him.
Although Billy had been enjoying Shawn's suit jackets and dress shirts, he did miss the colorful tights Shawn used to wear into the ring. Billy was on another planet when Shawn did a little strip tease on TV wearing his black ones, his cock leaking right into his pants. It had morphed into a fantasy for Billy. He couldn't even count how many times he got off to Shawn dancing in front of him that same way.
"You actually came."
"Yeah. You thought I wouldn't?"
Shawn shrugged. Whether he did or didn't, whatever. He didn't care. Now what? Shawn figured he might as well leap right into the fire.
"I saw how hard you were for me earlier. You really are a big guy."
Billy's cheeks immediately reddened. Those stupid shorts finally got him in trouble. He didn't know what to say as Shawn inched closer to him.
The crystal blue of Shawn's eyes glittered in the low lighting. "You hard for me right now?" Shawn's hand reached out to rub at Billy.
A groan got caught in Billy's throat. "Ah-- you know I am."
"I know you are, baby."
Shawn moved his hands back to his body to unbutton his shirt. He took his sweet time, reveling in Billy's hungry looks at him. Billy's eyes threatened to pop right out of his head at seeing the smattering of light brown hair on Shawn's chest and stomach.
"Get on your knees." Billy could barely get the words out. Shawn complied, his fantasy from the previous week playing out perfectly. Deep down within him he hoped that Billy would be just as gentle with him.
Billy's dick sprang forward at Shawn. He felt his eyes cross at the length of it. Geez, he knew he'd be big but not like this. It was leaking onto the carpet. Shawn's mind twisted at how aroused he made Billy. With a kiss at the tip of him, Billy's moan filled the room. That was exactly what Shawn needed to hear. The inside of Shawn's mouth was so hot it was verging on being uncomfortable. He'd only put the tip in so far but he was sucking at it with force, hollowing his cheeks around him.
There was no way Billy was going to be able to stand the whole time. He collapsed on the bed, forcing himself to sit up to watch Shawn crawl over to him. He smiled at the smaller man like he had just gotten done running a marathon. It made Shawn's heart beat out of his chest. He swirled his tongue around the underside of Billy's cock as he swallowed him down. He wanted to hear him come undone above him. Billy's chest puffed in and out every time his dick touched the back of Shawn's throat.
"Shawn, fuck. You're so pretty."
The pads of Billy's thumbs ran along Shawn's cheekbones. It was too intimate. Shawn gagged and hummed around the length of Billy in an attempt to get him to stop. Billy moved his hands to play in Shawn's hair. Everyone always wanted to grab and pull it when he was giving them oral. It wasn't his favorite thing, but it was another part of putting on the show. Shawn's eye twitched when Billy didn't grab but instead kept smoothing it and massaging at his scalp. Too nice, too nice, too nice--
Billy suddenly pulled out of Shawn's mouth and raised the smaller man up to pull him on top.
"Off… take your pants off…"
Billy fumbled at Shawn's zipper and thrust his slacks down. Shawn pulled them the rest of the way down in a fog. He was realizing this was not going to be the quick, one-track minded fumbling he thought it would be. Billy wanted him. All of him. Billy kissed Shawn's neck then moved up to plant little kisses all over his face. He pressed his lips against Shawn's and was shocked when he jerked his head away.
"That's okay, that's okay. I won't do it again. Only if you want me to." Billy breathed.
He flipped Shawn over onto his back and raised up onto his knees to take his shirt off. Shawn was pretty sure Billy was a Greek god who was living out his days on Earth because he was bored in Olympus. That could be the only explanation why Billy made Shawn feel so heady and intoxicated at something as simple as a shirt being taken off. Billy sure felt like a god with the way Shawn blinked at him while he did it.
"There's lube on my bathroom counter." Shawn pointed into the other room.
Billy tried not to short circuit as he raised off the bed to go into the bathroom. He almost tripped over himself returning to Shawn, fumbling with the lid of the container. Shawn so badly wanted to laugh at him, but it was kind of sweet to see how excited he was. Billy squeezed some out into his hand and began to stroke himself on his knees above Shawn. He shut his eyes and twisted his hand around his cock trying to mentally prepare himself for what was next. Shawn took the opportunity to readjust himself by getting on all fours even though he'd miss the view. Billy was probably wanting to look in his eyes and kiss him and all that mushy stuff that Shawn just couldn't handle. Not yet.
Just as Shawn expected, he was unsurprised when Billy said "I wanted to see your face." Too bad, Gunn. I'm running the show here. Shawn arched up at him in apology.
"This is a nice view too, though." Shawn felt the weight of the bed shift below him as Billy leaned down to kiss the tattoo on his ass. He was so… sentimental. Why wouldn't he just fuck him and leave like everyone else?
Shawn pushed those thoughts out of his mind when Billy's finger began to slick against his hole. He could hear Billy muttering above him but couldn't quite make it out. Soon his finger was replaced by the tip of Billy's cock, so warm that it felt hot. Shawn took a deep breath as Billy slowly pushed inside of him.
It'd been a while since he'd been fucked by someone so big. Or fucked at all, really. He made a high pitched noise that made Billy stop dead above him.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, dammit. Keep going, please," Shawn begged.
Billy gripped Shawn's hips and filled him to the hilt. At that moment, it was like he died and went to heaven. That's what had to be happening here. Shawn was so tight around him he had a hard time thrusting. Once he finally caught the rhythm, he had no problem hitting Shawn's prostate. With every bump against it, Shawn groaned and gripped his fingers into the sheets. His pronounced arch kept falling away, but Shawn was a trooper. Every time he lost it he arched back up and pushed himself against Billy to get him deeper. He caught the bigger man right as he thrusted into him and let out a scream he was sure the room next to him could hear. Fuck it.
Billy reached down to grab Shawn's cock. It was twitching below him and looking just as pretty as the rest of him. Billy had dreamed too many times of feeling it in his hand to not start stroking the man the way he stroked himself, slow and twisting. Tears started to stream down Shawn's face at the pleasure. He rubbed his face into the sheets to dry them away. When he raised up again he turned his head around to look at Billy's face and groan his name.
Billy had to stare up at the ceiling. If he looked at Shawn's face or back down at the tattoo for a second longer he was done right then and there, and it wasn't time for that yet. It was close, but he just needed one more thing…He used the little force he had left in his weakening muscles to flip Shawn onto his back. He bared down on the man below him, shaking his hair out and raising one of Shawn's legs up for a better angle. Shawn could barely comprehend what was going on, but he did miss the feeling of Billy's rough hand against his dick.
"I want you to look at me, Shawn. Look at me, please," Billy kissed Shawn's cheek and entered him again.
They were too close! Billy was such a weirdo, but he'd give this weirdo whatever he needed. So Shawn blinked his long lashes at him and stared into his eyes. Billy smiled again. He was slower this time, annoyingly. Shawn knew he was going to come soon. He was getting to the limit himself.
"You're beautiful." Billy kissed Shawn's other cheek.
Shawn shifted below him. He wanted to cry at being called beautiful. He didn't deserve such sweet words from a guy like Billy. How did he see anything good in him? Because he was just that cool of a guy. It made Shawn soften. He didn't dislike Billy. Not at all. He liked him quite a bit. Shawn just didn't like himself. But Billy did. When no one else really liked Shawn, Billy did. He was still nice to him even when he barked back after all this time.
"Kiss me," Shawn whispered.
Before he could even get the last word out, Billy gently pressed his lips against Shawn's. The kiss hastily deepened, tongues swirling around each other like they'd never be able to kiss each other again. Billy lost his breath and had to break it to catch it again. As soon as he saw the completely open and vulnerable look on Shawn's face…
Snap!
Billy pulled out of Shawn just in time to paint his stomach with his come. The sight of it in Shawn's happy trail would be burned into his memory until the end of time. Shawn looked at the mess with awe while Billy began to stroke him again.
"Oh, Shawn. God, you're amazing. You did such a good job for me. You made me feel like I was on top of the world. Now I wanna make you feel good. You deserve it, baby."
Billy removed his hand and placed his mouth around Shawn's cock just as he released. He copied that thing Shawn did when he hollowed his cheeks out, making him almost jolt off the bed. Billy happily swallowed all of Shawn's come and kissed the tip of him before taking his mouth off.
Shawn was completely spent. All he could do was look up at the ceiling and try to make sense of what just happened. Billy managed to climb out of the bed and head to the bathroom to get a warm, wet towel for Shawn. He shut the door behind him and took a minute to replay everything. It was a blur right now, but he was sure he'd remember every little thing over the next few days.
When Billy exited the bathroom, he returned to see Shawn knocked out. Seeing him like that and knowing he did it was better than winning the belt. He took care to clean Shawn up as carefully as possible to not wake him.
---
The next morning, Shawn felt the warmth of the sun surrounding him on all sides. That was strange, he couldn't help but think. He squinted his eyes at the rays beaming through the windows. When he turned away from them, he had the surprise of his life seeing Billy lying beside him in a deep sleep.
He stayed.
No one stayed.
No one except Billy.
Shawn nuzzled against his chest and fell back asleep quickly.
#shawn michaels x billy gunn#shawn michaels#billy gunn#wrestling#wrestling fanfic#wwe fanfic#wwe#90s wwf#wwf#wwe smut#wrestling smut#wwe billy gunn#wwe shawn michaels#magnoliafanfic
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So gen 9 huh?
(MAJOR SPOILERS, And poor spelling)
After realizing that I would essentially be attending a school called “Grape” in a town that directly translates to “Enjoy Table” I straight up ran with the food theme. I named myself Peach and my team was named after food. It was glorious.
My boyfriend did eventually correct me that Mesas were also a geographical structure but I’m still calling it Enjoy Table town fight me
While I do love this game I’m not going to say it’s perfect. This is a game I want to see a Third Version of the most. There’s a lot that I think could be expanded on with more time and resources. There is a lot of potential here that I do look forward to being realized in the future.
But with that onto the parts I didn’t like.
Yes the game is glitchy. I don’t think there’s anything more I can say on the topic that others already haven’t. I would guess the game runs a tad better on the OLED but I don’t have one so I can’t say. While it’s not my biggest problem with the game it is objectively the worst part of it. I think it’s worth playing but prepare for lag.
My least favorite part of the game might just be a thing with open world games in general (I don't play many so I don’t know) but a lot of the towns just felt kinda lifeless to me. The stark lack of NPC dialogue and not being able to enter houses was jarring. The world was beautiful but it felt so empty at points.
And the clothing options are terrible. For the love of god who is forcing me to wear the bloody uniform when I’m on the other side of the region?
I sorta get why they wouldn’t level scale the bosses but I kinda wish they did. I started from the west and worked my way mostly up and around and the progression was reasonable but when I got to the east part of Paldea my team could basically steamroll anything it came across.
That poor bug leader…
Anyway. Stuff I did like!
Character design! Amazing! Everyone looks so unique and charming
And Rika can step on me
Everyone also gets really good development. They are my friends and I love them.
My favorite is Arven. Yes I got emotional when I saw his backstory. He needs several hugs.
Also how big is the Arven/Julianna fandom and where can I join yall?
Also the world is just fucking beautiful. And I get to glide!
No I do not know how you’re supposed to get to the mountains without climbing and no I will not learn.
The moment I got surf I immediately went mad with power and just swam until I hit land. It’s how I found the water gym, and where I realized there was no level scaling
Spoilers below
(Minor spoilers below)
I spent about half the gym storyline wondering if Nemona was going to be insane or something. Idk if the devs didn’t realize how creepy she could come across or something but that girl was two steps away from being a full yandere.
I had two of the elite 4 self KO their last Pokemon (one with rocky helmet and the other by using brave bird with like 10 hp) I think they just gave up.
Geeta was not a particularly hard fight. Only thing I had issue with was her ace on the grounds I’d never seen it before and couldn’t tell what type it was.
Props to Florgres for basically carrying half the endgame bosses. She was what got Geeta’s ace. You did good Mint.
The end fight with Arven was so satisfying. Yea boy! Show off that development!
(MAJOR SPOILERS)
I figured out Penny/Cassiopeia/Big Boss were the same person almost immediately. I kinda wish you were given the option to point out you knew it already because a) it’s not a particularly hard thing to figure out and b) I think it would add something to Penny’s development that you knew all this but chose to help her anyway.
At least the game doesn’t take the Clavel/Clive thing too seriously. I briefly thought Clavel would be the villain because he gave off weird vibes in the intro but the moment he stepped in with that fucking wig that thought went straight out the window.
He has a real cool battle theme though. The fucking reveal of him having the unchosen starter was great. Reminded me of the Kukui fight in SuMo
Penny’s theme is also a banger
It’s not SwSh level good but a lot of the songs are bops
(MAJOR MAJOR MAAAAAAAAAAJOR SPOILERS)
I want to live in area zero holy fuck it is beautiful
I wish this game was voice acted because a lot of the end scenes feel less impactful in just silence
I did like the interactions though. Everyone gets to put their character development to use. Penny and Nemona getting their updated trainer classes is neat. Arven and Masbotiff fighting the Paradox Mons that fucked them up last time was sweet.
The fucking cutscene of them jumping into the crater! Arven grabbing your hand and pulling you on to the rideon! My heart! My shipping goggles!
If you had asked me where I thought the story was going “the professor was actually a dead Robot” would not have even remotely crossed my mind.
Like I figured they were gonna be evil fairly quickly. And I kinda wondered if they were a robot at the end but I was still surprised.
I do love the idea of both professors being a divorced couple though.
It was also the coolest fight in the game (and up there with Lusamine as my favorite boss fight period) so I’ll give them that.
MIRADON HAS HIGH FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE YOUVE SPENT THE WHOLE GAME WITH THEM! AAAAAAAH!
Idk if it’s scripted or not but during the final boss my Miradon tanked a move with 1hp left and I saw the “They didn’t want you to be sad” line and my heart melted.
This was what I wanted in a Pokémon story. I don’t think the series needs to have a grand story. The characters are what make the games good and the focus on character based plot lines was very compelling to me. The ending wasn’t just about saving the world. It was you and your friends having an adventure. The fact you save the world (and nobody even knows about it) is more a neat tangent. I hope more games take that kinda story approach.
I really like this game but I’m not going to say it’s perfect or that it’s flaws can be looked past or whatever. I hope that the next games can use what was good here and improve on it. I hope that some of the bugs get patched. I REALLY hope we get a third version because I think you could do a lot here with more time.
Good game. Know what you’re getting into if you play it though.
#lights plays pokemon violet#pokemon SV#pokemon sv spoilers#pokemon spoilers#pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers#random personal rant#solid a tier game
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A short list of students attending [insert name] college of witchcraft and symbolic magic with their race and symbol
Claire Celeste Estrella | Human | Amber Star | The protagonist. Full of anxiety, bless her heart, girlie has no idea what she wants to do with her life after she graduated high school. Has a bit of a hyperfixation on horror, death, and funeral practices (just like me fr).
Heather Dean Forester | Human | Green Hydrangea (Limelight) | Basically Claire's brother, they are childhood best friends. He's the only one who calls her Celeste for the most part. The one who first discovered magic for both of them, and also the only one of the two with a job and his own car. Also has no idea what to do with his life but fuck it we ball oh shit there's magic that's cool hey claire let's just hop dimensions lol
London River Knight | God-Abandoned: Wolf | Lavender Moon | One of Heather and Claire's dorm mates at the college. Also full of extreme anxiety (what's up with this new Celestial trio, the previous one wasn't like this, were they?) but this one is scared of a common superstitious prophecy present in the Other World that is a common trope in media on top of being pretty widely believed in. When I first made him he was a self indulgent Cool Goth Werewolf Witch and now he's grown up to be So Shaky I swear
Serra Mun | God-Touched: Cat | Hot Pink Cherry | The other dorm mate of Heather, Claire, and London. He's also long time frenemy of London, and they didn't plan on dorming together but alas fate brought them together so he could annoy the hell out of London. Serra is also the first character I made for this story and his design is so inconsistent I keep wanting to give him scars or an eyepatch but forget other times and it's just a mess (love him though). I'm not sure if I'll ever make London x Serra canon but lord do I Think About Them
Daphne Rosa Clover | Elf | Water Lily | "Omg flowy mint green outfits and pink hair and flower crowns and white star shapes makeup freckles to look like a mushroom she must be so cutesy and nice and innocent" WRONG she is a HUGE NERD ABOUT DEATH AND THE DARKER ASPECTS OF MAGIC. People from the Other World have tales and warnings about what happens to people who delve too deep into like the physics of magic rather than the philosophy of magic like everyone else and how they all go INSANE and DIE and daphne looks at them and goes "we really know nothing about magic despite it being so prevalent in our lives and also wdym by insane guys its [other world equivalent of 2023] u should know better" The type of person to pick up roadkill so she can study its anatomy then lay it to rest respectfully and then get lost in thought about the role it plays in the ecosystem even in death (if only there were cars in the Other World like on earth)
Pippa Jane Owen | Human | Dandelion | By huge coincidence, she went to school with Heather and Claire. She received the book the two used for the enrollment ritual firsthand from a Mysterious Source, and decided to leave it for someone else to find because she thought someone else would like to also learn magic. Very sweet, love her dearly, terrifyingly adept at using magic in extremely creative ways for a human.
Nova Éliane Jones | Human | Blue Sun | The last third of the Celestial trio. Totally unfazed by her near instant popularity upon entering the college when everyone found out her symbol and was excited to see if the rest of the prophetic trio would arrive too for the first time in centuries. Not as good as Pippa in terms of sheer creativity and fluidity in magic, but she's very determined when it comes to perfecting magic one spell at a time.
Halia Ka Hiwa Kapule | Human | Crimson Hibiscus | Similar popularity to Pippa and Nova by association, but a lot more reserved. While Pippa learns by exploring magic by herself and Nova is by the books, Halia is competitive with herself and an observer, taking note of what does and doesn't work for others and how it can apply to herself, so people only see her get things right on the "first try." Very distinguished, love me a turtleneck under a fitted jacket
Dragonfly Saccharum "Sock" Elm | Elf | Pink Feather | Local prankster prone to messing with underclassmen with tall tales about the horrible/amazing things they've seen and done with magic, since most people of the Other World never learn symbolic magic outside of college. Acts like a cool older sibling to the Weird Freshmen offering advice that is rarely useful. Everyone calls them Sock.
Divya Deshmukh | Human | Gold Hourglass | One of the few humans born in the Other World. Best Friend to Sock, except a lot less chaotic than Sock and way more studious. I'm lying Sock is a saint next to Divya don't trust their cool exterior they are SO elaborate in their revenge and pranks, not to mention how they figured out how to use their magic in really subtle and almost unnoticeable ways by breaking down their hourglass symbol into multiple parts of the glass and sand separately. Great person to get on their good side though, always excited to talk about a cool trick they learned with their magic and how it could be translated to other symbols, but damn if they aren't SINISTER and OFFPUTTING once you figure out their small movements that tell you when they're lying or secretly using magic
Bela Briar True | Cryptid: Vampire Elf | Wisteria | Vampires aren't real, stop perpetuating this rumor, Bela isn't a vampire they're just creepy.
Yvenna | Elf+? | Red Anemone Flower | Ok so it turns out with the way the Alltongue spell works on humans from Earth, the term for people like Yvenna actually gets interpreted (at least in English) as Vampire, so that being said YVENNA ALL THE NEW STUDENTS FROM EARTH THINK YOURE A WEIRDO AND CREEPY FOR TELLING THEM TO WATCH OUT FOR BELA BECAUSE THEYRE A VAMPIRE
Marigold | Elf | Salt | Ok we get it the previous Star Witch was like the Father of modern Yonderworld necromancy but that doesn't mean the new one will be a prodigy at or even be interested, stop pestering her based on a centuries old prophecy that's been telephone'd to hell
Welwitschia | Stitched | Blue Teacup | Again with this? This student died a year ago in front of you, you didn't even know her
#writeblr#creative writing#writers of tumblr#writing community#writing#writers on tumblr#fantasy#ocs
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A Normal Friday Afternoon
drabble #1 from the Spellbound series
pairing: Jungkook x reader
genre: enemies to lovers (but mostly enemies so far oops), hogwarts au
word count: 2.2k
warnings: violence (oc punches jungkook in the face), swearing
It’s a normal Friday afternoon at Hogwarts, meaning everyone is going insane. You wonder why Professor Snape even bothers teaching Potions right now since it doesn’t look like anyone is paying the slightest bit of attention. He even chose a hard potion for the class to make, individually this time. As if making it an individual assignment could stop a group of annoying 17-year-olds from wreaking havoc.
You flicker your eyes in annoyance at Jeon Jungkook and his rowdy group of friends. They had created a game where they launch the ingredients into each others’ cauldrons, giving each other points based on how close it got. Usually you try to get along with your classmates, especially fellow Gryffindors, but Jungkook has always been the sole exception. There’s something about him that grates all of your nerves like a carrot. Maybe it’s the way he’s good at all the same things you are, but he makes it seem more effortless. Maybe it’s the way everyone thinks he’s so innocent and kind, when he’s been metaphorically (and literally) pulling on your hair since first year.
It started with the little things. You were friendly to him, like you are to everyone, and as an 11-year-old, you had nothing to complain about. Something changed one day when you were walking past him in the hallway to class and he hit you with a hex that he hadn’t mastered yet. You remember falling to the ground in pain, watching your stinging flesh go boneless. And Jungkook? He was laughing.
You’re no less of a witch or a Gryffindor though. With your limp arm, you cast the strongest dancing hex you could muster. It worked, of course, and Jungkook was known as “Happy Feet” for at least another year for the way he danced around Hogwarts that day.
It’s a memory you keep close, as a reminder to never trust the sweet smile and starry eyes of Jeon Jungkook.
If you looked at all of the detentions you’ve served in your 6 years of being a Hogwarts student (and there are plenty), you’re sure 99% would have been from fighting with Jungkook, whether it’s yelling at him, cursing him, or swatting him with your broomstick in midair during Quidditch practice. Because of course he would join the Quidditch team at the same time you did.
You’re not in the mood for fighting today, though. You’re exhausted from a frankly awful week, and you just want to finish your stupid potion, get your stupid grade, and go to your stupid dorm so you can sleep.
Your only good friend in this potions class is a Ravenclaw girl named Nina. For a Ravenclaw, she’s chatty, and she flits around you while you grind up asphodel root for your potion. With a quick slide of your knife, you dump the crushed root into your potion. It bubbled. Beside you, Nina bubbled even more, her personality like soda that had been shaken too hard.
“-and then Emilia told me that she asked Irene if she would go with her to Hogsmeade next weekend, but Irene said she’s already going with Jieun, but Sam told me that Jieun is going alone, so what’s even the truth? You’d think that she’d at least-”
“Maybe you should mind your business.” You give her a sour look, and you hope it isn’t too harsh. “Just a thought.”
Nina’s mouth curls into a rueful smile. “You’re spending too much time with Yoongi lately.”
You crack a smile at the thought of your best friend and his (only partly true) reputation. No one dares cross Min Yoongi, a 7th year Slytherin with a killer poker face. As one of his best friends, you can see right through it.
“There’s no such thing as too much time with Yoongi,” you grumble.
Nina leaves you alone after that, thank god. You usually have a higher tolerance for her chattiness and gossip, but today your patience is running thin. Luckily, she knows you well enough to not seem upset at your attitude.
You sprinkle a serum into the potion before stirring it clockwise ten times. It’s the last step of the potion, and yours is already turning the perfect shade of mint green. You count to yourself as you stir: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight-
You don’t make it to ten. You were so goddamn close.
“Oh, shit-”
You don’t register who curses. All you can see is a bottle of serum—someone else’s bottle of serum— being launched straight into your cauldron, and your entire potion splattering onto your front. Your robes sizzle where the potion hit them.
“Oops.”
You recognize that voice. How could you not? You almost want to laugh.
Fucking Jeon Jungkook.
The leech lumbers up to you sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head. “My bad. We were playing a game, and I missed pretty bad.”
He chuckles a little, surveying the green ooze all over you. “Green is your color, Y/N. Maybe they should’ve put you in Slytherin.”
You’re seething.
A temper is not one of the traits associated with Gryffindor, but at that moment, you think maybe it should be. Lions do roar, after all.
And roar is exactly what you do. Roar and knock Jungkook the fuck out.
The room is in chaos: Professor Snape is yelling, Nina is telling you to calm down, Jungkook is on the ground in front of you, more shocked than hurt, and half the class is chanting “Fight!” because the adolescent urge to create violence never truly dies.
“Take this outside!” Snape shouts at the two of you, grabbing you both by the collar of your robes. “Fight in the hallways, I don’t care, but this is not going to happen in my classroom. When you’re done, head to McGonagall’s office. I’m sure she’d like to have a word with you two delinquents.”
Jungkook stares at you, rubbing at the bruise blooming on his cheek.
The door swings closed, slamming in your face. With a huff, you turn around and vanish the potion residue still left on your clothes with a quick spell. You barely spare a glance for Jungkook. He stands several feet away, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
“Do you have something to say?” You snap.
He opens his mouth. Then closes it.
You roll your eyes. “Listen, Jeon. I know you did that on purpose. Very funny prank, absolutely hilarious. Truly, I’m rolling on the floor laughing right now.”
Jungkook’s eyes drop to the floor as if he expected to see you there, laughing.
“Let’s just go to McGonagall’s already,” you say, posture slumping at the thought of being yelled at by the intimidating professor.
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” he says. Jungkook rolls his shoulders, and you see him gain some of his usual bravado. “We were playing a game, I already explained this to you.”
You bark out a laugh, just one. “I’m not stupid.”
He cocks a brow. “Are you sure? I bet my potion was better than yours even though I was dicking around for the entire class.”
“Fuck off.”
“Hit a nerve?”
“No.”
It’s like this, for the long, long, long trek from the dungeons to Gryffindor tower where McGonagall’s office is.
“You know, you don’t have to be such an asshole all the time,” you say, turning the corner. Jungkook jogs after you to keep up.
“I don’t? No way, all this time I thought it was mandatory.”
He sounds more upset than snarky, and in your present state of blind rage, you don’t have a single clue why he would be upset. He’s the one who ruined your potion and got you sent to McGonagall’s office. He’s the one who has been a splinter the size of Greenland in your thumb for five years and counting.
“Besides,” he adds, as if you wanted to have a conversation with him, “you’re the one who fucking punched me in the face. It’s kinda hypocritical to call me an asshole in this situation.”
“That’s a really big word, Jungkook. Did you finally learn how to read?”
Jungkook’s face crumples into a frown. “Shut up.”
“Hit a nerve?” You mock.
You think getting to McGonagall’s office is a relief until you’re finally there. McGonagall is all but screeching at the two of you. You’ve heard the same lecture several hundred times, but never in such a high pitch. You offer to make her some herbal tea for her throat, and she only gives you the evil eye. Jungkook snorts beside you. You ignore him, nudging him in the ribs with your elbow.
“Never in my days…”
“...Such stupidity from my own students!”
You fade in and out of consciousness during the lecture, and one look at Jungkook tells you he’s doing the same.
“Detention for both of you. I will see the two of you here at 9 pm sharp every day for the rest of the week,” McGonagall finally says.
Jungkook groans.
“I’m being generous,” McGonagall says. “If I see the two of you acting like violent animals again, I can and will suspend you both from the Gryffindor Quidditch team.”
You and Jungkook both make sounds of protest, only to be drowned out by McGonagall.
“I hate to see my own team lose, but it has been five years of your childish fights. You two will learn to be civil to each other, and I will make sure of it.”
The tone of her voice makes you uneasy. Jungkook beats you to the question that’s on both of your minds. “What are you going to do to us?”
The fear in his voice would make you smile if you weren’t practically shaking in your boots yourself.
“As you know, in Transfiguration, I am going to be having everyone work in teams this year. I was going to let you choose your partners, but you two have not earned that privilege.”
You turn to face Jungkook. He’s staring back at you in wide-eyed horror.
“You both are now partners in Transfiguration. Sit by each other and complete the projects together. I will not tolerate any misbehaving in my class, and if you don’t work as a team, you will be risking your own grades.” McGonagall stares at the two of you with the smallest of smiles, disgustingly smug. She’s enjoying this, and you hate her for it.
“But-”
“Professor!”
“I won’t hear it!” She shouts. Jungkook recoils. “This is final. If you have a problem, you should’ve thought about that before brawling like wrestlers in Potions.”
You hang your head, staring at how the end of your robes skims your shoes. You don’t like to be dramatic, but this sure feels like the end of the world. The rest of your year is probably ruined, thanks to McGonagall essentially sentencing you to Jungkook duty. Not to mention Transfiguration is your hardest class, even without having to compete with Jungkook. You don’t doubt that this would make everything so much harder.
“That’s all I have to say to you. Please leave,” McGonagall says, pressing a thumb and index finger into her forehead.
The two of you file out of her office, stumbling down the empty hallway. You walk in silence, thankful that classes aren’t out yet. You stop a few corridors down, and Jungkook stops next to you.
You look at him, really look at him. Other than the bruise on his face a la you, he has a sweet face and kind eyes. You remind yourself that it’s fake.
You take a step closer to him, and he tilts his head at you, nonplussed.
“Y/N?”
You brush a hand on his cheekbone, where you hit him.
“Does it hurt?” You ask.
The hallway is empty, but Jungkook still looks both ways before responding to you, as if you were a car hurtling towards him on the street. He gulps at your proximity to him, how he can feel your breath mingling with his own and your fingertips’ gentle pressure on his face.
“A little,” he says, quieter than you. “You really know how to use your fists, huh?”
He laughs. To your ears, it sounds forced. You smile. Checkmate.
Without warning, you grab his tie and jerk his face down to yours, leaving just a breath of space between your noses. You lean even closer to Jungkook, and a smile ghosts your lips when you feel him moving closer to you at the same time. You wait for one more moment, letting your warm breath hit his skin. The moment he closes his eyes, you whisper, “Good.”
His eyes flutter back open, confused, and you take your foot and slam it down on his. He all but howls in pain, nearly knocking his head into yours as he hops away.
"What was that for?"
"If you still don't know, then maybe I need to step on you again." You narrow your eyes at him, still close enough to register the clean linen smell of his clothes. “Do not cross me again. I need a good grade in Transfiguration this year, and I won’t let you ruin that for me.”
"McGonagall is right there. I could go tell her," he threatens. His eyes are wide, and you pick up on the slightest fear under his façade of arrogance.
"Okay, do it. See if I care, asshole."
You spin on your heel and storm down the corridor, leaving a stunned Jungkook in your wake.
#bts fanfiction#bts au#bts drabble#bts writing#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#Jungkook Fanfiction#jungkook#jungkook x reader#spellbound#bts hogwarts au#bts fic
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Strawberry
Genre: smut, romance? Idk?
Summary: The reunion with your childhood best friend took some turns, and instead of hugs and tears all you wanted to do was kill the familiar stranger, that made your day at work worse.
(Ye, I suck at describing lmao)
Word count: 6.7k
Warnings: 18+ (MINORS DNI), unprotected sex, dom!Dabi, creampie, a bit of dacryphilia, a bit of teasing, rough sex, choking, facefucking.
,,Girl, just hop into the water’’ Mina screamed, taking all the attention you were giving to your phone. You were already regretting the decision you made to join her and Bakugo. You’ve never liked those public pools, and you never understand people who did. Like seriously, children there pee in the water, some of them even poop, who knows ? And its not that you are some hygiene freak, it’s simply a no go for you.
,, Nah, I’m good over here’’ You screamed back, hoping she heard you, as you hid under the shadow of the tree. Sun was also a big minus for you, since 10 minutes were enough for you to get sunburnt and end up with Yoghurt all over your body trying to pamper the burning stings. Plus your pierced nipples didn’t help in this case either, heating up too fast in the sun, since the only peace of clothing that covered them was your swimming suit.
,, You are no fun’’ she pouted, hoping her puppy face will work on you.
Usually on your days off, you liked to enjoy your time at home, reading a nice book or simply lazing around watching a movie, cooking for yourself, and doing simply anything that didn’t include contact with others. Yeah, you had enough contact with people since you were working at the famous café in the city.
People who saw you working there thought that you loved your job. Always smiling, always having so much patience. Truth to be told, you were exactly the opposite. You hate it wholeheartedly. You couldn’t deal with children screaming around all the time, while their parents ignored them, you couldn’t deal with drunk dudes, cat calling you all the time, and you couldn’t deal with rude costumers always complaining about something. Fuck it, you couldn’t deal with anyone.
You felt more than happy once the day came to an end and once you waved goodbye to your co-workers. Nothing against them of course, you loved Mina and Bakugo, but sun, water and loud crowd of people drained your energy out. At that point you found yourself appreciating your apartment and your bed more then ever before.
The next day you woke up pretty late, since you had late shift. Not that you were complaining, you liked sleeping longer, but the fact that you will be working till fucking 10 PM, if not even longer since it was summer, was driving you insane.
Sure waking up early isn’t amazing, but in the morning there wasn’t that much work, and it was much more quiet then in late shift. And sure, some people would consider calling sick, but you didn’t want to be such an asshole toward your co-workers.
Since you will be the one getting the orders on the counter and maybe, only maybe work with ice cream, you decided to wear your favorite comfy skirt, not too long, but also covering everything up. Once you found your fav comfy shirt, you tucked it inside of your skirt and did your casual make up before you left your apartment.
You didn’t like your work, but you were thankful that you could at least get a free meal there, since it saved a lot of time for you. It wasn’t anything special, but at least you didn’t have to prepare anything or stop to buy something before work.
,, DROP THE BEAT’’ Bakugo yelled once he saw you coming, making some weird noises as you gave your best to give them a Top Model walk.
,, TC, TC, TC’’ you repeated, waving your hips from side to side in the beat with the weird sound you and Bakugo made. You hopped beside them, as you took the small pack of cigarettes out of your bag.
Usually after the end of the morning shift, you and your co-workers sit together, enjoying the last minute of the shift exchange together. Of course if there’s a new costumer, one of you would go to work immediately. But most of the time, the café was almost empty at that time, giving you a chance to catch up a bit.
,, Today was pain in the ass, I swear’’ Shiggy said, taking one cigarette out of your package, while Bakugo told you everything you needed to know, if there was something to do and so on. Nodding your head, you lit a cigarette for yourself, preparing yourself for one hell of annoying day that was waiting for you.
Once Bakugo and Shiggy went home, you made your way toward the small counter, preparing everything you needed for the late shift, as you waited for Mina to arrive. You were glad that there weren’t any new costumers, since it gave you lots of time to prepare everything, from ice cream, to sandwiches and drinks.
,, Hiii girl, sorry for being late’’ Mina greeted you happily, while you placed the new drinks into the fridge. It wasn’t anything new for you, she was always late, but you never minded it at all. Your team had some up’s and down’s, but after all, all of you worked great together.
Around 7PM you wished you never got that fucking job. The café was getting fuller and fuller, and people were getting more and more annoying.
,, Can you please serve that table ?’’ Mina asked, pointing on the table where some boys were sitting down. Nodding your head, you took the small notebook and pen, before you made your way towards the table you had to serve.
,, Heyy, what can I do for you?’’ you asked, acting all happy as you prepared the small notebook to write the order.
,, Well, you can blow me off if you are asking that nicely’’ one of them said, making the rest of the boys laugh loudly. Taking one deep breath, you almost rolled your eyes in annoyance.
,, Can I take your order ?’’ you repeated yourself, ignoring the rude comments they gave you, talking about your skirt and how you looked, like you weren’t standing right in front of them.
,, Five beers. Sorry, they really don’t know how to behave’’ one of them, mature enough, said. Giving you one small and apologetic smile. Nodding your head, you just hurried back, wanting to finish their order fast enough, before you did something you would regret later.
Once you bought them their beer, and once they gave you the money, you almost smacked the bottle against the blondies head, when he started checking you out shamelessly. What pissed you even more was the fact that the line waiting for fucking ice cream was already waiting for you.
The whole day was a complete disaster and you wished more then ever to finish your shift and leave the fucking café. At least you had Mina by your side, as the two of you gave each other encouraging words.
,, What can I get for you?’’ you asked, faking a smile at the woman with a child. You were so done with that fucking job, but you couldn’t let the costumers figure that out.
,, Honey, what do you want?’’ she asked her child, as she prepared her wallet. The fact that she was waiting for you to come, and than ask her child what she wants was lowkey pissing you off. They could literally decide before you arrived, but whatever.
,, I want vanilla… Hmmmm, I want mint and strawberry!’’ the little girl screamed excitedly, as you prepared the cone, already putting the vanilla ice cream in it.
,, I’m sorry, we are out of Strawberry ice cream’’ you said, giving her a small smile, as the child started screaming and crying around how she wants strawberry. You had to give your best and stop yourself from throwing the cone against the child’s face. That little girl was old enough to understand what a no means.
,, Sorry sweetie, do you want anything else?’’ you asked, hoping she’ll stop with the whole theater.
,, Noooo I want strawberry’’ she screamed, crying loudly.
,, Just give her raspberry’’ the woman said, rolling her eyes in annoyance like it was your fault that you were out of the strawberry ice cream. Mina noticed that your blood was already boiling, as she asked you if you need some help. Once she heard you saying how everything’s fine, she continued with her work.
NOTHING WAS FINE FOR FUCKS SAKE, NOTHING.
,, What can I get you?’’ you repeated the same question, as a guy approached, holding his phone in his right hand. You looked at him, giving him one fake smile, as you analyzed his face. Black hair, scarred face, few tattoos and lots of piercings. His appearance was pretty much freaking you out, but you had to stay professional and just wait for his order.
,, Hey, strawberry and chocolate’’ he said, casually scrolling the screen of his phone with his thumb. The moment you heard him say strawberry you wanted to quit that fucking job and just move to Poland or whichever country.
,, We are out of strawberry, sorry’’ you breathed out, hoping that the last cell in your brain didn’t die at that moment.
,,Oh ok, then only strawberry is fine’’ he said, giving you a small smile. At that moment you were more then sure that he was making fun of you, even a deaf person was able to catch up that strawberry wasn’t an option anymore after that stupid child made a scene. And that’s when you finally snapped, having enough of everyone’s shit.
,, Which part of we are out of strawberry you didn’t understand?’’ you asked, slamming the cone onto the counter, almost regretting your actions. But once you noticed the way he was trying not to laugh made you snap even more.
,, Are you making fun of me ? Is this funny to you ?’’ your voice was raising with every word you spoke. Once Mina realized that you were having your half mental breakdown, screaming at costumer, she hurried toward you, repeating your name all over again as she tired to catch your attention.
Hearing your name, his eyes widened in surprise, now totally focused on you instead of his cellphone and if Mina wasn’t there, you would probably start a bitch fight with him for even looking at you that way.
,, Woah, what’s going on? ‘’ she asked confused, as you gave the dude death glares.
,,This guy here is going on. He’ll be my 13th reason why’’ you screamed waving your hands in air, not even trying to calm down anymore.
,, Chill out, we only have 30 minutes more till we close’’ she said, patting your back slowly, as she mouthed small sorry to the guy.
,, Oh, 30 minutes ? We’re out of the ice cream’’ you hissed, slamming the glass down, giving him a clear sign that he won’t lick shit tonight. If your boss heard and saw you at that moment, you would be fired in just a second.
After 20 minutes, the two of you happily told the costumers that they have to leave. Before you could leave, you took two corona tests, already working on your own test as Mina went to the toilet to change.
,, OH MY GOD, YOU’RE PREGNANT’’ she screamed, placing one hand over her mouth.
,, Bitch, this is corona test’’ you hissed, loud laugh following your words. ,, And it’s only one line, which means that I’m negative. What the fuck’’ you laughed, placing one test in front of her, thinking about where the fuck did she get all her informations from, since she thought that one line means pregnant. Ignoring the fact that she thought that corona test is fucking pregnancy test.
,, You really overacted today, maybe he didn’t hear’’ she said, as you puffed onto your cigarette.
,, Girl, even my grandma from nursing home could hear that we were out of strawberry, and trust me her hearing aids ain’t worth shit’’ you rolled your eyes, making Mina giggle quietly.
,, But still, he might tell to boss, you don’t know that guy’’ she whispered, as you watched the guy sitting on the bench with his friends. She had a point sadly, he did look like someone who would cause trouble just for fun.
,, You’re right, I’ll go and apologize’’ you said once you saw him wave goodbye to his friends. Taking one deep breath you hugged Mina, before you forced yourself to walk fast enough to catch up with him.
,, Hey’’ you screamed, almost running behind him, hoping he actually heard you. Once he turned around, giving you one hella confusing look, you sighed in relief, placing both of your hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath.
,, Wow, such a sporty spirit’’ he joked as he watched you fight for air.
,, Yeah, oh my god. I just wanted to apologize for what happened earlier’’ you managed to say somehow, ignoring his comments.
,, Yeah, that wasn’t very nice of you’’ he pointed, taking one cigarette and placing it between his lips. ,,I was ready to write a review on google about the way you treated me’’ he joked once again, but you completely misunderstood it.
,,I KNEW IT, I FUCKING KNEW IT’’ you screamed, pointing your finger in his direction. ,, Look man, I already hate my job, don’t make it any worse’’ you whined loudly, not getting the irony in his voice.
,, Well, let me treat you with dinner, what do you think? And then I’ll think about the review’’ he smiled, using the way you misunderstood his words in his advantage. Once you heard him say that, you definitely regretted the way you acted one hour ago.
,, That won’t work, I have a cat waiting for me home and trust me, he ain’t capable feeding himself on his own’’ you spat, hoping he’ll understand and simply leave you alone, but once you saw him raise his eyebrow at you and giving you one questioning look, you almost rolled your eyes on him.
,, but you can come with me and we can order fucking tacos or whatever’’ you added, surprised that you went that far and disappointed once he accepted your invite.
,,Taquitoooo, I’m home babyyyy’’ you screamed, kicking your shoes as you got inside your apartment. Turning around you found the tall man looking around, analyzing every corner of your apartment.
,, Taquito? You’ve gotta be kidding me’’ he laughed at you. Even tho you just met the guy, it felt like you knew him for ages for some weird reason.
He sat outside on the balcony, as you prepared the two glasses and drinks for the two of you, while he ordered some food.
,, Anyway, what’s your name ?’’ you asked, remembering that you don’t know shit about the man sitting in your apartment.
,,Ah yes, I totally forget that, the name is Dabi’’ he grinned, taking the glass away from you, as he made himself at home.
,, Why the fuck did you call your cat Taquito?’’ he asked, as your cat jumped onto his lap, purring softly, making you just stare at them surprisingly. Taquito didn’t even like your family and friends, yet he was all cuddly with some fucking stranger.
,, Yeah long story short, I was drunk as fuck, found him on the street while I watched the stupid Tiktok about a girl that bought a turtle and called it Taquito’’ you said fast, as you sat there waiting for the food. Once you had a good look of him, something felt off. Nothing weird or scary, but you only felt like you already knew him. Sure, you definitely wouldn’t forget a face like his, but something about his eyes was telling you that you met him somewhere.
,, Anyway, enough about my cat. Did we meet somewhere?’’ you asked, staring at him shamelessly as he played with Taquito.
,, Maybe ?’’ he said, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
,, Cut it. Your eyes are familiar. I swear, I feel like I know you from somewhere ‘’ you confessed, placing a finger on your lip, as you tried to figure out from where you know him.
,, Yeah, I have such a pretty eyes, don’t I’’ he said, blinking fast as he tried to give some weird effect with it.
,, You can’t be that stupid doll’’ he added, when he realized that you still can’t remember him. Sure he changed, sure he went thru some shit and ended up with scars, and sureee he colored his hair black, but still he felt a bit disappointed when he realized that you have no idea who he is.
,, Does a name Touya tell you anything ?’’ he asked, raising his eyebrow at you playfully, laughing loudly at your confused face.
,, Nah, go fuck with someone else, that can’t be true’’ you hissed, crossing your arms on your chest. If you saw Touya, you would remember him, your childhood best friend.
,, Monday, 2PM, old tree house?’’ he said, almost asked about something only the two of you knew, trying not to laugh at your shocked expression.
,, It can’t be’’ you gasped, eyes wide enough, almost popping out of your skull. ,, YOU PIECE OF SHIT WHY DIDN’T YOU CONTACT ME?’’ you screamed jumping suddenly, making Taquito run form his lap, scared from your sudden reaction.
,, Honestly, I forgot what your last name was, so I couldn’t find you anywhere’’ he admitted, happy you finally remembered him. Sure he didn’t recognize you at first either, but once he heard your co worker calling you by your name, he immediately figured everything out, and understood why you seemed so familiar.
,, Are you serious ? And what kind of reunion was that ? I was ready to choke you with a fucking ice cream cone’’ you laughed, still not believing that the stranger sitting in front of you was no one else than fucking Touya Todoroki, the best friend you once had that left you behind and went overseas.
,, Yeah that was one iconic reunion if you ask me’’ he laughed out, thinking about the way you acted few hours ago.
The two of you talked about everything possible, about his life overseas, about the past, your shitty job, your cat and his dislike on every living being. Once it was too late, he wanted to leave, but you simply couldn’t let him go home at such a late hour, since people at the city were pretty weird and the city isn’t the quiet and safe one and after a long time of your insisting he finally agreed.
When you woke up, Touya was nowhere to be found, but he did leave a small piece of paper, with a number and apology written on it. You grinned to yourself, as you hurried to get ready for your work, since you stood up too late.
The day was much better than the last one, only instead of Mina who always managed to calm you down, you had Bakugo who was even more aggressive then you are by your side. You had the same task as last night, but once you saw Touya and his group of friends making themselves comfortable at one of the tables in the corner, you told Bakugo that you’ll take their order.
,, hayyy, alredy know your order ?’’ you asked excitedly placing your hands on Touya’s shoulders from behind, the smile on your face being honest for a change.
,, My girllll, why didn’t you text me ?’’ he whined, as he grabbed your hands and pulled you down, forcing you to hug him.
,, Didn’t the two of you have a huge fight last night because of strawberry ice cream?’’ one of his friends asked, totally confused.
,, We talked it out’’ you laughed, as he placed a small kiss on your cheek, before you finally took their order, almost forgetting you are at work.
If you were being honest, the whole shift was better with him and Bakugo who was cursing every second costumer around. Almost every 15 minutes Touya would end up at the counter, asking for a strawberry ice cream. Every time you would tell him that you are out of it, he would simply ask for the Book of complaints, making you roll your eyes playfully at him.
You were surprised when you noticed that he was actually waiting for you, laughing loudly when Bakugo commented how this whole romantic shit is making him sick.
The next few days the two of you spend way too much together, and first time in forever you actually liked having someone around. Every day he would drop by at your work, and wait till you are done and then the two of you would go home and have a late dinner, while he had cuddle season with Taquito.
On Saturday, you were looking for excuses to call sick, and once Mina told you that the only person who would be forced to jump in was no one else than Rumi, you immediately called them, acting all sick and everything.
After you called, you gave yourself one good deserved nap, not feeling bad anymore since Rumi was the co-worker no one liked.
The loud knocks at your door woke you up, grabbing your phone your eyes widened in shock once you realized that you slept almost the whole day. Rubbing your eyes, you rushed to open the damn door.
,, What the fuck?’’ Touya hissed, once he saw you healthy and alive standing there in nothing but oversized shirt.
,, what? I overslept a bit’’ you gave him a weak smile, as you let him in. You were surprised yourself that you slept that long, but you totally deserved it.
,, I swear, once your co worker told me you’re sick, I thought you died or something’’ he added, following you inside.
,, Yeah, I just needed some rest’’ you laughed, hoping he’ll chill the fuck out. Thankfully he calmed down real fast, almost forgetting about all the worry he had once he saw you all healthy, and once he saw Taquito running happily to him.
There was something comforting in having Touya around again. Somehow it made you feel like a child again, and the fact that he’s staying this time, for real, made your heart skip a beat for some weird reason. He was all the time around, at your work waiting for you, giving you a ride back home or walking you back home, dropping by on your days off with your favorite snacks and so on. Usually you wouldn’t like it, but since it was him, you embraced the affection he was giving you wholeheartedly.
You even became a laughing stick at your work, as your co-workers always made jokes about your new lover boy. Especially Mina and Bakugo, turning every conversation into Touya related one.
Making the drinks some costumers ordered, a yawn escaped your lips. Still sleepy as fuck, you somehow managed to put your attention on your work instead of the lack of sleep.
,, So, how was the date last night ? What did you two do ?’’ you asked, remembering that Bakugo met some girl he liked so much last night.
,, See when two people come together, they perform an intimate act called getting fucking railed’’ Bakugo said, trying to sound as romantic as possible.
,, You’re disgusting’’ you gasped, throwing the small sponge at him, as he laughed loudly, making his way to the costumer that just got in.
You were completely focused on your work, until Bakugo told you that your lover boy is there, and he’ll be the one to get his order. Rolling your eyes, you just let him do it, as you continued with the work you already did.
Bakugo was much louder than usually, probably because his little date went good, singing around you and joking around every now and then. Not that it bothered you, in fact, you were so glad that he showed his unusual side that day, since he’s grumpy and mad almost all the time.
,, I swear the headache is killing me today’’ you whined loudly, hopping beside Touya once you got the chance. You took one cigarette from him, and lit it up, enjoying the peace with almost no costumers around.
,, You seem pretty close with that guy’’ Touya said, also taking one cigarette.
,, Huh? You mean Bakugo?’’ you asked and he simply nodded his head, not taking his eyes from the spiky haired guy. ,, Yeah, we are pretty close’’ you added, puffing onto your cigarette.
,, You like him ?’’ Touya’s eyes met yours, making you feel a bit uneasy with his sudden behavior.
,, No, we are literally only friends and he’s much younger, wait, why ?’’ you were too confused, finding it hard to proceed the whole situation. Changing the topic, he simply asked what you wanna do after work, acting as nothing happened at all.
,, So, that Bakugo guy, he has a girlfriend ?’’ Touya asked, as the two of you made your way to the nearest store.
,, At this point I’m not sure if you are interested in me or Bakugo’’ you joked, dragging your feet lazily.
,, In you, obviously’’
After that day Touya was giving his best to show you how he felt, he was giving his best to show everyone to who you belong. Being a little too touchy in front of his friends and your co workers, in a way that seemed innocent to you, yet clear to everyone else. Small kisses he usually placed on your cheeks, were getting closer and closer to your lips. The hand he usually places around your shoulders, was getting lower and lower.
Even when he comes over, he was using every little chance he had to touch you, using everything you liked into his advantage. He knew how much you loved when someone caressed you, and he did it more than gladly for you. Tracing his fingers against your soft skin, starting with your arms, only to end up with his hand under your shirt, caressing your back slowly, until you would end up falling asleep in his arms.
,, What do you want to watch ?’’ you asked, placing the bowl of popcorn onto the table, while Touya waited for you patiently on you couch. The weather was perfect for nothing else than a lazy movie evening.
Hopping next to him, you made yourself comfortable as you listened to the storm outside. The sound of strong wind and thunder was more then relaxing to you, and for some reason you enjoyed weather like that.
Gasping loudly, you jumped a little once your cat tried to climb onto you, destroying your small enjoyable moment.
,,Taquito get the fuck off her, she has a boyfriend’’ Touya pushed the cat away gently, joking around, as you just sat there and watched him, eyes wide in shock.
,, Do I?’’ you asked, not moving at all.
,, Fuck yes, you do’’ he added, wrapping his right arm around you, pulling you closer to him, as he looked for a perfect movie to watch. He took his time searching for anything interesting, mumbling some words of disappointments as he couldn’t find anything on Netlfix. At the end he played Oh, Ramona! , since none of you watched it and it was it was simply in Netflix recommendation list.
Pulling you closer to him, he started tracing his fingers along your arm, both of you concentrated on the weird movie that was playing on the screen of your Television. You always begged your friends to caress your arm, since you loved the ticklish feeling that always made you sleepy, yet they would always refuse it, giving you some lame excuses how they’re tired and so on.
Now that Touya was doing it without you having to ask him, you tried to enjoy every second of it. If you only knew, how much Touya enjoyed it, almost as much as you did. The feeling of your soft skin under his fingertips was driving him crazy, as he traced them down your tattoos, mesmerizing every inch of them.
The air got steamier in one moment, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the overly erotic scenes that were showed in the movie, or because his hand was now under your shirt, slowly moving from your back, to the side of your hips.
Trying to calm yourself down a little, you grabbed your phone, checking out all of the unread messages in the group chat. The way he moved hiss hands from side to side made you almost way to shaky. It took you some time to write a reply to your friends, and you almost dropped your phone once he put a little bit pressure into his touch, making your skin burn under his palm.
,, You should concentrate on the movie doll’’ Touya said, not stopping his movements.
,, Yeah, sorry’’ you mumbled, dropping your phone beside you, as you tried not to close your eyes in pleasure.
Once the movie got too erotic fro your taste, you found yourself with your phone in your hands again, trying to hide the blush that was spreading across your cheeks. Of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by Touya. Annoyed groan left his lips, as he snatched the phone away from you.
,, You really don’t listen’’ he pointed, hiding the phone away from you, as you complained quietly. The hand that was under your shirt was suddenly wrapped around your neck, pushing you slowly into the couch, there was no pressure in it, but the sudden turn of the whole situation made your eyes widen in shock.
,, Are you bored doll? ‘’ he asked, his face only inches away from yours as he locked your body under his own.
,, No, it’s just.. the movie is too much’’ you whispered, gulping on your saliva as he slowly tapped his fingers around your neck. This time you didn’t have to ask yourself, you knew that he was the one turning you on, and not the fucking scenes from the movie.
,, too erotic’’ you mumbled, making him laugh loudly.
,, You should have kept your eyes on me, instead of your phone, if it was getting to much for you’’ he gave you a smile, a dangerous one.
,, That won’t help’’ you confessed, making him smirk widely as you spoke those words. How could it help, when he was laying beside you handsome without even trying, as his hand was caressing your body gently.
,, Oh, am I turning you on?’’ he asked, mocking you shamelessly, as you tried to avoid his eyes.
Touya didn’t need your reply, the way you acted in the moment was enough for him, and God did he want to fuck you senseless in that moment. His hand moved a bit up from your neck, holding your jaw in one place, as he connected his lips with yours.
His hold on your jaw grew stronger, forcing you to open your mouth just enough so he could slip his tongue inside. Not breaking the kiss, he parted your tights apart, as he hovered on top of you, his hips between your legs, slowly grinding against your clothed core.
You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer into the kiss, not giving a shit about the movie or your phone anymore. The way he was grinding against you, the way you could feel his hard dick rubbing against you, made you insane in that moment and you found yourself wanting more and more.
,, On your knees’’ Toyua commanded, breaking the kiss as he sat onto the couch, spreading his legs enough to give you some space between them. Without thinking twice, you obeyed, positioning yourself down, between his legs, as he pushed his hips just a bit to pull his sweatpants and boxers down.
Touya looked down on you, not hiding the smirk on his face, as he slowly caressed your hair. Kissing the tip gently, you looked up through your long lashes, satisfied with the fact that he was going crazy as much as you do. He cursed something under his breath, as you gave him one lick, taking your time and making sure you licked every inch of it.
,, Don’t tease me doll, you’re not in position for it’’ he hissed, as you placed your lips on the tip of his cock. His hand found its way to your hair, gripping onto it, as he brought your mouth farther down him. You wanted to take your time, to play at your own pace, but Touya didn’t let you, he waited too long for this to happened and teasing wasn’t something he needed in the moment.
,, Open your mouth a bit more’’ he growled, gripping your hair tighter then before. He wanted you to obey him, he wanted you to do everything he wanted in that moment and you did, you gladly did.
It was the first time you had someone’s dick deep down your throat, and the feeling you weren’t used to made your eyes glossy so fast as his tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag a little.
Without giving you any time to get used to it, he started moving his hips, as he held your head in place. You could feel his hardness more then clear now, as his hips thrust into your mouth at some lazy, yet strong pace. Focused on his dick, you didn’t even realize that tears were rolling down your cheeks, vision getting blurry as his moves got much faster, not giving you a chance to breath properly.
,, You look so pretty when you cry’’ Touya groaned, getting even more turned on as he watched you get ruined because of his dick. The small amount of mascara you had, was all gone, turning your tears into blurry shade of black. You started gagging, and without even knowing you tried to move away a bit, giving your best to breath through your nose.
Looking up on him, you saw him squeeze his eyes shut, head swung back into the edge of your couch. You could feel your saliva dripping down your chin, and if you weren’t in that position at the moment, you would probably end up blushing. But none of that was possible, since all you could focus on was his dick hitting the same spot of your throat.
Touya stopped his movements, slowly petting your head, as you fought for your breath, coughing loudly, while tears rolled down your cheeks. If it was someone else, you would probably told them to go to hell and throw them out of your apartment, but it was Touya, and all you wanted was to do was make him feel good.
,, My good girl’’ he praised, pulling you up into his lap. You wanted to stay in his lap a bit longer, you wanted to snuggle into his neck and enjoy the moment, but just after he gave you one sloppy kiss, you found yourself under him again.
Touya took your shorts and panties off, throwing them across the living room together with his shirt. In less then a minute, the two of you were all naked, enjoying the feeling of each others skin.
,, Touya, please’’ you begged, feeling his hard erection between your legs, as he sucked onto your neck, leaving wet love bites all over it. Taking one deep breath, he started rubbing the tip of his dick up and down your clit, making you beg for him even more.
,, Needy baby’’ he mocked, placing his tip only a bit into your core, as he continued to tease you, loving every second of the way you were almost breaking down for him.
A loud scream escaped your lips as he entered his full length into you, kissing your jaw and giving you some time to adjust his size. The moment he looked down your body, to see his dick buried deep inside your core, something else grabbed his attention. Cursing loudly, his eyes focused on two shiny pieces of metal, pierced thru both of your nipples.
,, How didn’t I notice this earlier’’ he hissed, lowering his head just enough as he sucked onto your nipple, the contrast of the warm feeling of your skin and the cold metal against his tongue made his curse all over again. His hand found it’s way to your left boob, slowly pinching and twisting your nipple, making you throw your head back, and making it hard for you to concentrate on anything else than his dick that stood still inside you, while his tongue was working wonders on you.
Playing with the small piercing, Touya started moving his hips at a lazy and sloppy pace, making you feel every single inch of him. Touya groaned against your nipple, deciding to waste no time, bringing his cock out and then slamming it back inside almost urgently.
Your hand reached up to his hair, tugging it roughly, as your other hand went up to his back, scratching red lines down helping release some of the pleasure you felt in the moment. Touya rocked his hips quickly, gaining depth with each thrust he made, as you were pulling at his hair lightly, eyes shut strongly as you moaned his name loudly.
He loved how you felt around him, he loved the way you were scratching his back and tugging his hair, yet he wanted more. Placing his hand around your throat, he gave it a small squeeze. It looked like he was asking for a permission, but he wasn’t. In fact it was more like a sign, a little sign for you to prepare yourself for what’s coming.
You didn’t get the little hint he gave you, totally unprepared once his grip around your throat grew stronger, making your breathing stop, as he slammed his hips at ruthless speed. He enjoyed playing with you, giving you only a second to fight for air, before he puts the pressure around your neck again, wrapping his fingers firmly around it.
In one moment you weren’t sure if he forgot about the fact that you couldn’t breath, hand wrapped around your throat for too long making your eyes roll back. You clenched his hair, yanking it tightly, giving him a sign that you need air, only for him to smirk in response as he held it even tighter, thrusting into you with much more force then he did before.
You were more then grateful when he gave you a whole minute to breath properly. But even without his hand around your neck, you had trouble catching your breath since he was hitting your sweet spot all over and over again. Of course, that was your problem and not his.
Feeling your walls getting tighter around his dick, he once again put the not so small pressure onto your throat, forcing the tears out of you as he continued to reach your g spot each time he slammed back inside. Scratching his back, your grabbed his hand that was wrapped around your throat with your own, closing your eyes shut as you found yourself coming undone. You weren’t sure if it was because of the lack of air, or because he didn’t stop his movements, but the orgasm that hit you was the best one you ever had.
In that moment, Touya left your neck alone, smirking to himself as he noticed the marks of his fingertips buried deep in the skin of your neck. Placing his hands onto your hips, he sped up, rocking his hips against your at animalistic speed as he reached his own high.
Groaning loudly he came inside, body collapsing on your own as he slowly fucked his seed into you, as he repeated how much he loves you all over again.
Once the two of you finally calmed down, Touya helped you clean yourself, being extra careful like you were a small piece of glass that was about to break any moment.
Hopping back onto the couch, you rolled your eyes at the view of the ending of the stupid movie Touya found. He wrapped his arm around you, snatching the cigarette that was hanging between your lips and placing it between his own.
,,Oh God’’ you gasped loudly, as your cat jumped on top of you, making you jump a bit in surprise. ,, Fuck off Taquito, I have a boyfriend’’ you pushed your cat lightly away, repeating the words Touya said few hours ago, making him grin widely as he placed a kiss on your cheek.
#smut#dabi fanfic#dabi headcanons#dabi smut#dabi todoroki#dabi x oc#romance#bnha fanfiction#bnha imagines#bnha x reader#mha dabi#mha x y/n#mha x reader#dabi x y/n#yandere dabi x reader#dabi x reader#bnha dabi#touya x y/n#touya todoroki#touya#touya imagine#touya fanfic#touya smut#touya x reader#yandere dabi#dabi#dabi request
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Found your tumblr acc recently and im INLOVE with it 😂. Idk if this is weird but, Can i request a fluffy imagine with nishinoya, bokuto, oikawa, and kuroo in which before practice the reader underestimates he's ability to lift stuff (calling him weak and other stuff) then out of nowhere, he lifts the reader to prove how strong he is and the other volleyball members there are like "... B r u h" lmao
c u t e
Warning(s); cursing
Underestimating Their Ability to Lift Things and Getting Lifted in the Process (Nishinoya, Bokuto, Oikawa, and Kuroo) -headcannons-
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Nishinoya
- come on you know better
- is the hardest simp for you, but you always say no because you really can’t take him seriously with the way he fawns over girls
- so surprise surprise when he literally almost cries in joy when you pop your head into the volleyball gym with a stack of chairs they had requested tucked under your arm
- “Need a man to help you carry those, Y/N?” all puppy dog like, omg please pet him
- “A man?” You tease, not seeing the way he had frowned while stilling in place “It’s okay, I doubt you could handle it-”
- a whole beat of silence comes from him amongst the rowdiness of the gym before his eyes shine over in competitiveness
- and you don’t notice until he’s literally holding you by the waist, lifting you up like you weigh nothing with the chairs
- grins widely up at you, blinking as if nothing were the matter as heat floods your cheeks
- he was literally holding you like a child, and you have to tighten your hold on the chairs so they don’t fucking fall
- Now the whole gym was silent: like why the hell is their libero holding up some random girl in the middle of the entrance
- “...do I need to call the police-” “Tsukki nO-”
- Asahi’s literally palming his face while Suga is covering Hinata’s and Yamaguchi’s eyes, telling them not to take notes on how to treat the girls they like
- Daichi is behind him in a second, sweatdropping and ready to catch you if Noya decides to drop you because he’s so unpredictable
- Tanaka is in the background nodding his head in approval while Kiyoko is just lightly shaking her head and thinking of a billion ways to apologize to you
- “O-okay, you can handle it!” You manage out, flushed as Noya’s grin widens, putting you down before scratching the back of his head
- “So ice cream after school?” As if he didn’t just pick you the fuck up, and your heart beats surprisingly a little quicker at the situation before you groan, spinning on your heel
- “...yes. It’s not a date though!”
- let’s just say the gasp around the gym was collective as you rushed away, Noya grinning like a madman before punching the air as Suga and Tsukishima blink in disbelief
- “That did not just work-” “I’ve suddenly seen enough today, I’d like to go home.”
Bokuto
- bold of you to assume he wouldn’t
- you’re the manager of the Fukurodani volleyball team, and you’re filling a large container with water bottles for the boys after they finish practice
- Bokuto’s your boyfriend, but still a newly-minted one that was always leaving practice to come up to you to bargain for hugs to keep him energized
- hugs are just his thing, okay?
- “Y/N can I help?! That looks heavy!” “I don’t know Bo...it seems like a bit much for you, don’t you think?”
- literally does not pick up on the teasing in your tone, and his face falls for a second before his eyes light up with an idea
- so imagine Fukurodani’s surprise when a shriek fills the gym, and all of practice stops to see their ace had somehow managed to slip away from practicing to be the core reason of said shriek
- deadass lifts you high enough to where you’re sitting on his shoulders, legs draping over them as a hot blush fills your cheeks as he bounces on the balls of his feet, as if he were warming up
- “And now I’m gonna run-!” “Bo, nO-”
- Akaashi takes a good two seconds to pinch the bridge of his nose as Konoha cackles at the sight before them, Bokuto grabbing your thighs to keep you steady as he runs around the outer gym
- Komi and Sarukui both shake their heads in disbelief as you hold onto Bokuto for dear life
- “Konoha, get over here and help me stop him.” “Akaashi he’s your pet, you go get him.”
- only lets you down when he runs a full lap, and you blink in slight dizziness before expecting he’ll let you down-
- sike bitch you thought
- “Y/N, can you do that cute thing where you lean your head over?” “Like...this?”
- you’re still trying to get your thoughts together, and you hang your head over his upside down so your hair is draping downward, meeting Bokuto’s gold eyes from the odd angle
- kisses the tip of your nose after grinning at your obedience, and you yelp before hiding your face in your hands after straightening with a blush
- Akaashi approaches him as if he has a hostage, both hands in the air as it looks like Bokuto’s about to start running again with a dazed you atop his shoulders
- I’m dying Konoha’s filming this
- “Bokuto put her down.” “Gotta catch me first, Akaashi!”
Oikawa
- “Why are you standing in front of Y/N-chan?” “Stop whining, idiot- it’s so you don’t look at her ass while she’s helping the coach lift some of the trophies onto the shelves of the gym.”
- gasps at the accusation as you stifle a laugh from above, balanced atop stacked practice mats with Iwaizumi and Matsukawa chilling in front of you
- “Y/N-chan, I’m being bullied down here!” “...I don’t know, maybe they’re onto something-”
- feigns a second gasp of shock as you giggle before slightly struggling to lift a particularly heavier trophy onto the shelves
- “Need help?” he’s done joking now, frowning when he sees you wobbling from your balance as you offer him a thumbs up when you lift it, too distracted to think about the impact of your next words
- “As if you could offer me any form of help, you pampered setter.”
- I kid you not this brunette really took those words to heart despite the laughs Iwa and Mattsun gave at your words, and walked up to your balanced form to push lightly on one of the mats
- bitch the fuck
- you yelp before Oikawa catches you smoothly bridal-style, hugging one of the smaller trophies to your chest as you blink up at him with an owlish expression as he grins down at you
- “...did..did you just push me over to prove a point-” “OI SHITTYKAWA”
- “Hang on tight, Y/N-chan, we’re going for a spin!” “A what-”
- runs away with you in his arms as Iwa and Mattsun call after you like some kind of parents as you run away with an unapproved boyfriend
- “...should we help her Kunimi?” “Nah she’s a goner, Kindaichi.”
- Hanamaki considers tripping his captain but decides against it because it would probably hurt you too as you wrap your arms around his neck to keep from falling
- “...if you really want me to get her I can tackle really well.” “Kyoutani, sit your ass down.”
- only sets you down when he makes it to the hallway conjoined with the gym, laughing at your bewildered expression as your back touches one of the lockers
- “Still think I can’t help you, Y/N-chan?” “You are so dramatic, Oikawa Tooru.”
- you shake your head before going to walk back to practiice only for his arm to stop you as he pouts down at you, leaning down as the pout contorts to a smirk
- “And what if I said I just wanted to get you and your pretty face alone?”
Kuroo
- “Kuroo stop flirting with our manager, you have to share!” “She’s my girlfriend, you imbecile.”
- glares at Lev who pouts, wanting your attention as the tall boy impatiently waits to talk to you before you giggle, gently pushing your boyfriend away
- “I’m everyone’s manager babe. I need Lev’s help to lift some of the mats out of the gym.” ...why didn’t you just ask me?”
- in all honesty you didn’t really think much of asking your boyfriend for help first, thinking it wasn’t a big deal as you grin teasingly
- “Duh. Because I doubt you’d be able to carry one, babe.” “Is that right?”
- But you’re already walking away to bend down to help Lev with the mats, not seeing the glint in Kuroo’s feral eyes as he watches
- not gonna lie he was probs looking at your ass and trying not to admire it because he was trying to be annoyed
- so as you come back laughing alongside Lev he’s really annoyed now, so when you bend back down again he walks up to you and scoops you up from behind, flinging you over his shoulder like a rag doll possessively
- “Tetsurou, what-?!” “Team meeting!”
- And I kid you not Kuroo leads this team meeting in the most casual-manner with you slung over his shoulder, Kenma sighing because he feels bad for you as if it were a test of trust, daring anyone to look at what was his
- “Hey Kuroo? You’ve got a little something...” “Where, Yaku?”
- “...oh nevermind, just a fly.” “YAKU MORISUKE-”
- grins as he ignores you hitting him on the back, and when the meeting’s over he doesn’t put you down as he hums, lifting three of the mats with one hand
- “...I get it. You can lift things. Put me down now.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart.”
- Lev is lowkey jealous while Yamamoto gapes at the cuteness of you two as you kiss the top of Kuroo’s head with a pout, trying to bargain you’re way down as Kuroo simply ignores you
- “They’re an odd couple.” “If I said what she did, it would probably be me- he’s just insane.”
- “KENMA I HEARD THAT.” “Says the guy with his girlfriend slung forcibly over his shoulder.”
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General Works: @takemetovalhalla @savemesteeb @kasandrafaye@dreebbles @yams046 @aprettyfruit @therestless101 @dai-tsukki-desu @lifeisntjustblackandwhite @curiouslilbeast@wisepandaslimeland @deadontheinsidebut @lmkjimin@h0ngh0ngh0ng @theworldupthere @itz-tooru @orangegiraffe7@let-me-have-my-own-name
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu headcannons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu nishinoya#nishinoya#nishinoya x reader#nishinoya fluff#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto x reader#bokuto#bokuto kotarou#haikyuu oikawa#oikawa toru#oikawa x reader#oikawa torū#haikyuu kuroo x reader#haikyuu kuroo#Kuroo Tetsurou#kuroo tetsuro x reader
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Gorgeous
Summary: You’d spent the last year and a half pretending to hate Ransom Drysdale. One Christmas trip could break that facade.
Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x Plus Size!Black!Reader (though it’s pretty inclusive. It’s just what I had in my head when I wrote it)
Warnings: And there was only one bed, enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, swearing, secret crush, daddy kink
Words: 7K
(A/N: Yes. I pretty much wrote a Hallmark movie. Yes it is also based on Gorgeous by Taylor Swift because I’d also hate Ransom Drysdale for making me fall in love with his stupidly handsome face. No I will not be taking questions.)
Tagging: @titty-teetee @queenoftheworldisdead @olyvoyl @liquorlaughslove @harrysthiccthighss @mariahthelioness29 @donutloverxo @navybrat817 @stargazingfangirl18 @hqneyyincc @iam-laiya @zaddychris @emjayewrites
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Contrary to popular belief, you didn’t hate Ransom. Sure, his smug smile made you want to punch him in the face sometimes. But you kind of liked the vein that popped out on the side of his head when you did something to irritate him. Or the way he rolled his eyes at you when you did something to annoy him. And you annoyed him a lot. It was like you couldn’t help yourself.
To be honest you kind of like those things too much. Not that you’d ever admit it out loud. Imagine everyone finding out that you had some little primary school like crush on this asshole. Down to the point where you’d push him into sand to prove that you didn’t like him in the slightest.
Since your best friend was marrying his best friend, you were spending way too much time with him. You thought you’d done a good job at convincing Monica, your best friend, that you absolutely couldn’t stand him. She seemed to buy it since every eye roll was appropriately placed anytime you thought you might laugh at one of his rude jokes.
So, when your best friend asked you to accompany her and her fiancé to visit his family, you were positive. It might be nice seeing how these super rich people did the holidays. You’d met them a few times and they’d been super nice. Nothing like how Ransom or your own boyfriend’s family came off as stuck up as hell. Also, you were kind of dying to see the decor.
Until that day came. “I’m sorry!” Ava said for the millionth time since she’d told you the news when she’d FaceTimed you. That not only was Ransom coming, you’d have to ride with him in his Beemer because she’d packed more than she’d expected and there’d be no more room in Simon’s car.
You groaned softly, wrinkling up your nose. Your cats rubbing themselves against you because they knew you were leaving and loved to get all needy when you did that. You were already having a hard morning so this was kind of the last thing that you needed. “Maybe I shouldn’t go,” you suggested, even though you were supposed to be leaving in about five minutes.
She pouted. “But I need you there so I won’t be bored.”
“You know David,” your own boyfriend who was not going with you because he had to work and also because you weren’t sure he’d be your boyfriend by the time you came home, “hates Ransom.” It still made for a good excuse, though.
“What he won’t know, won’t kill him?” She shrugged. “Look it won’t even be that bad! It’s just the car ride.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, for four hours.”
“Just do this for me,” she whined. “Please. I’d do it for you.”
“Fine, but next time my boss has one of those boring dinners at his house, I’m making you go with me.”
She gasped. “Deal!”
There was a honk outside and it was safe to say who it was. You rolled your eyes. “You’re so lucky I love you because I’m already annoyed.” You peeked outside the window to see him aggressively honking.
Fucking asshole.
Once you’d hung up with Ava, you grabbed your bags so you could hurry out of the house. Luckily David was already at work so you didn’t have to explain to him why you were getting in the car with him. Ransom seemed to like getting under his skin, which you’d noticed is what he did to most people. Including you, but it seemed to be for a different reason than most people had.
“Hey,” you greeted him, as you struggled to carry your stuff to the trunk. Even though you were trying to keep this facade up, you didn’t want to be rude.
“Can you hurry? We’re on a strict timeline, Buttercup.”
You hated when he called you that. “First, don’t call me that. Second, maybe I’d finish sooner if you’d help.”
There was this smirk on his lips as he finally opened up his car door so he could take one of the bags out of your hands and then the others. “Did you pack your entire closet?” He asked as he tried to make it all fit in the trunk.
“I have a lot of needs,” you retorted.
“That’s probably why you need that sugar daddy, huh,” he said. This is why David didn’t like him. Okay yeah maybe you’re twenty-six with a forty-seven-year-old boyfriend. Sure, he brought you nice things, but what was wrong with that.
“He’s my boyfriend,” you made a point to emphasize. You weren’t going to tell Ransom Drysdale that you were with your boyfriend because he was your daddy dom. That’d be fucking stupid.
“Look, sugar daddy boyfriend whatever,” he said, dismissing you. “I just think you should pack lighter.”
“Whatever. Aren’t we on a tight schedule or something?” You rolled your eyes before going over to the passenger seat.
“Hey, hey, hey!” He stopped you to open the door himself. “I don’t need you to scratch my shit. You have to handle with care.”
You tried not to laugh which made you bite your bottom lip instead making you taste the mint chapstick you’d just put on. “You’re such a control freak,” you said, having to brush passed him so you could sit.
He didn’t say anything as he closed it gently.
The ride had been pretty boring so far. You yawned a few times. Wiggled in your seat trying to get comfortable. He surprisingly pulled over to get you coffee and even got you your blanket so you could curl up at some point.
If you weren’t trying to hate him, you may have swooned. He also said it’s because he didn’t feel like hearing you complain so maybe less swooning anyway. You reached for the radio and he smacked your hand away. “Ow!” You gasped.
“I’m just fucking with you.” He laughed, glancing over as you glared at him.
“Dick,” you mumbled under your breath as you reached forward again to change the station.
“What was that?” He asked.
“I said you’re a dick,” you repeated, sitting down as a song you liked started playing.
He groaned. “I hate this song.”
“Too bad,” you snickered.
“Need I remind you that this is my car, Buttercup?”
You narrowed your eyes at him because he called you that damn nickname. “Whatever. At least it wasn’t that Dad stuff you listen to.”
“Should you really be the one making fun of Dads?” He laughed.
“Hey! David doesn’t even want kids.”
He raised his eyebrow. “You don’t?” He asked looking genuinely surprised at that.
“I mean... maybe. I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Do you?”
“Well, I hate kids, but maybe for the right women. Who knows?” He once again took a quick glance at you, with this small dorky smile on his face.
That was surprising. You felt yourself starting to get to where your heart was swelling in your chest. “Why are we talking about this, you weirdo.”
He chuckled as you cross your arms in front of your chest as you looked out the window.
For the rest of the car ride only the music filled the silence. You wanted to say something. Thought about at least trying. Every time you started to open your mouth no sound came out.
You’d look at him while he focused on the road. Just because you couldn’t like him didn’t mean you couldn’t look at him, right? Though it was bothering you that there was a hole in his cashmere sweater.
“I’ll open your door,” he said getting out. You waited for him to open your side, but you heard the trunk pop open. You turned around watching him take out your four bags along with his. How the fuck was he so strong.
He opened up your car door finally. “Do you want me to take some?” You asked him with a frown as he closed the door with his elbow.
“It’s okay,” he replied already walking off. You scurried behind him trying to catch up.
Ava and Simon were right behind you. Ave got out and went to hug you. “See I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” she said. “Wait why is Random holding all your stuff?”
You shrugged. “He insisted.”
“Weird,” she replied.
Simon’s family was pretty nice, but they were so busy doting on the happy couple you were kind of ignored. It was actually kind of nice because when you met David’s family, they pretty much scrutinized everything you did. His mother was honestly the bane of your existence. Like, lady, if your son hadn’t had a kid by now how was that your fault.
That was another thing that made you treat Ransom the way you did. You’d met Linda a few times now and she already hated you. You could only imagine how she was towards his girlfriends. You’d only seen the tip of the iceberg of the insanity of the Thrombeys, though Harlan had been nice every time you’d met him.
“Okay, so, it turns out that one of Simon’s cousins decided to come at last minute and uh,” Ava took a deep breath, “you two have to share a room okay, bye!” She tried to grab Simon’s hand, but you managed to catch her first.
“What,” you said a little too loudly so you lower your voice, “the hell, Ava.”
“You’re shitting me,” Ransom groaned.
“It won’t be so bad just think of it as a sleepover. Maybe he can paint your nails and you two can do face masks together,” she started rambling off.
You weren’t as amused. “Or maybe me and you could share.”
“Hell no! I’ve slept in a bed with you. You’re a cuddler.” She frowned. “Besides I wanna sleep with my boo.”
“You’re the worst best friend ever,” you told her. “Fine, but he’s sleeping on the floor.”
“Like hell I am,” Ransom said.
“I have a boyfriend!” You reminded them. “I can’t sleep in a bed with another guy. Especially Ransom.”
He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve been over this, Buttercup. You don’t have a boyfriend; you have a sugar daddy.”
You huffed. “Alright that’s it I’m calling an Uber.”
“And paying a hundred bucks to get home?” Ava rolled her eyes. “Come on just tough it out.”
“I hope you know that I hate you now,” you told her.
“Good. We’ll work it out in couple’s therapy.”
—————
The first night was awful. It felt like you couldn’t sleep. While Ransom seemed to sleep like a baby on the other side of the wall of pillows, you’d built between the two of you.
Even when you’d tried to move away from him, he’d just hold you in place. At some point you just had to accept your fate. At least you were cozy. So, you just kind of let it happen because who knows if this could again. When you actually woke up, he was already gone. You were neatly tucked under the comforter.
As you were finishing up your face routine and making yourself look presentable, Ransom was coming back in. You’d never seen him with sweats on before because he was usually such a preppy asshole, but he looked good. “Morning.”
“Morning,” you mumbled.
“How’d you sleep?” He asked.
You raised an eyebrow. “Why? You didn’t do something did you?”
“Me? Never?” He smirked before walking passed you and into the bathroom.
You walked through the house, taking in the way everything was beautifully decorated for the holiday. Honestly this place was house porn. “Good morning!” Simon’s mom, Trish, greeted you as you walked into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” you replied with a grin.
“Did you sleep okay?”
You nodded. “Yeah, it was perfect,” you answered.
“Breakfast will be ready soon so why don’t you go wake up Simon and Ava.”
You nodded. “Yeah of course.” God they were too nice. Maybe you need to be around rich people more often.
Oh wait, no. David’s family came from money and they were awful. Also see Ransom.
Simon had come to answer the door, freshly showered. Ava was just coming out of the bathroom. “Morning,” he said.
“Morning. Your mom said breakfast is going to be ready.”
He nodded. “Okay. Babe, you ready?”
“You go ahead,” she told him. “Y/N, c’mere.”
You and Simon exchanged looks and he shrugged. “Guess I’ll get Ransom.”
Ava waited until he was completely out of the room before motioning for you to close the door. “So,” this shit eating grin appeared on her face, “how was it?”
“How was what?”
“Sleeping with Ransom.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “How was it?”
You shrugged. “We put a pillow wall up.” You really didn’t want to mention the cuddling.
“What? That’s it?” She groaned. “I always thought he’d be a bed hog.”
“I stayed on my side, he stayed on his.”
“That’s boring. I at least thought you’d have something to talk shit about.” She sighed. As far as you knew her and Ransom got along. She just found it super entertaining how you bitched about him.
The two of you went to sit in the dining room, waiting for everyone else. Trish sat down not to long after bringing the two of you mimosas. “Oh my gosh thank you!” Ava said getting up to hug her mother-in-law.
“Of course, Sweetheart.” She grinned. “So, Y/N, how long have you and Ransom been together?” She winked, bringing her champagne flute to her mouth. “I always said that Ransom just needs to find a sweet girl to settle down with. Maybe melt down that cold exterior he puts up. You know he really is a sweet boy.”
It was a good thing you hadn’t even been able to take a sip because you probably would have choked on it. “Her and Ransom aren’t together,” Ava answered before you could.
Her jaw dropped. “Oh, I just thought because you were fine sharing a room.”
You shook your head. “It’s okay.”
Ransom took a seat beside you while Simon sat on the other side of Ava. Trish looked between the two of you because this table was huge and Ransom could have sat anywhere else. He could have sat on the other side of Simon if he’d wanted to.
Breakfast went by pretty uneventfully, though the pancakes the housekeeper made were kind of to die for. “So, what are you kids planning for today?” Simon’s dad, Warren, asked as plates started being cleared away.
“Well, Ava’s never been ice skating,” Simon said.
“That’ll be fun,” Trish said. To be honest you were kind of nervous about ice skating. You’d done it before, but ate shit hard. “Is this your first time, too?” She asked you.
“No,” you replied. “I’m not very good at it, though.”
“I’m sure Ransom can help you,” she said with a grin.
Ransom groaned softly beside you. “Yeah of course.”
As soon as you got on the ice you could feel yourself going down. Ransom grabbed onto you to hold you up. “Don’t eat shit on me already,” he said with a smirk on his face.
“If I go down, I’m taking you with me,” you snap back at him.
He rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get this over with.”
It was a good thing you’d bought these leggings that were fluffy on the inside and this jacket you were wearing was cozy because it was freezing out here. Ransom had to
At some point you kind of started to think that you had the hang of it. Like maybe you could actually do it. He started to slowly let go of you, but the minute you started to feel unsteady he’d grab your hand. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” he said sighing softy. He stood for a minute holding your hand so he could skate with you to the middle of the rink. “Hey can we talk about something. Really quick?”
You nodded. “Sure.”
“Hey, so,” he looked down at you with this almost nervous look on his face. “There’s been something I wanted to say, but I wasn’t really sure how to before.”
You nodded. “Yeah, what’s up.”
“Um,” he sighed. “Well, okay, so I-“ well he didn’t get to finish as this asshole barreled into you. “Y/N!”
You hit the ice pretty hard almost bouncing up as you came back down. “What the hell!”
Ransom immediately helped you up. “Watch where you’re fucking going!” He yelled back after the guy who’d already started skating away without even saying sorry. “Are you okay?
“My leg like hurts really bad,” you felt yourself tear up because you’re a little baby.
He sighed. “Shit, okay,” he said. “Are you okay to stand?”
“Oh my gosh!” Ava came over to the two of you. “Are you okay? I told Simon to go tell security. That guys been such an asshole this whole time.”
“Yeah thanks,” you said.
“Here why don’t we got some hot chocolate,” Ransom said.
It felt so nice being back in your boots. Ransom had you sit before going to get the drinks. You couldn’t help yourself as you rubbed over the spot on your leg that had been hurting super bad. Wincing at the tenderness.
“How’s your leg?” Ransom asked, sitting beside you with the steaming beverages in hand.
You brought your cup up to your mouth loving the warmth against your cold nose. “It’s fine,” you answered.
He reached down to touch the spot making you jump. He laughed. “Wow usually I have to get a girl naked before they start reacting like that.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to play off as annoyed, but it didn’t work since you couldn’t help yourself as a smile spread on your face. “Oh, shut up.” You blew at the steam before taking a sip. “So, what did you wanna talk to me about?”
“It’s.... it’s nothing,” he said picking at some lint on his coat, suddenly getting all quiet. He took a sip of his own drink.
Here’s where you made a mistake. Which is the mistake that got you into this in the first place. Because every time you looked into his eyes, seeing those long lashes framing those deep blue eyes made you feel like you might drown in them.
And you fucking looked into them. After that first time you told yourself to never do that again. That it’s what made you trick yourself into thinking that you liked him the first time. No. He was just so close.
You pretty much fought yourself on this for the rest of the day. Even during the little shopping trip that the two of you dragged the boys to when you’d been debating with yourself if you wanted to buy this gorgeous coat or this really dress. Not that you needed more of either.
“Here just get both,” Ransom grumbled, taking out his card.
“What!” You gasped. “No, I can’t ask you to do that!”
He shook his head. “It’s okay. Just wear it for the Christmas party.”
“But I already have a dress,” you said.
“Look, I’m sure your sugar daddy buys you very nice things at Forever 21, but I insist.”
You rolled your eyes as he quickly handed the worker his card. “Hey!”
“Too late,” he replied with a shrug that smug smile on his face.
You looked down at the glass as your things were being wrapped up nice and neat. The gold necklace had a diamond moon pendent. It looked so delicate and would have gone so good with that dress.
“You like it?” He asked, noticing.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” you said. “But this is already too much.”
“C‘mon, we have to get back for dinner,” Ava said as Ransom grabbed the shopping bags.
—————
At some point every night the pillows would end up on the floor and you’d end up nestled into the crook of his neck. He’d have his arms around you until you’d roll over onto your side where he’d wrap himself around you again. Then you’d wake up to him gone because he went on his runs at the ass crack of dawn. You noticed how you’d be snuggly tucked into bed each time.
A part of you wanted to feel bad. That you were away and cuddling with another man every night. It was hard to feel guilty when you weren’t sure if your boyfriend was taking advantage of you being gone not that he knew that you knew. He was probably in some club, too, doing you don’t even want to know what. You knew when you left that you may be going home to end things.
You were trying not to think about it. Hell, you hadn’t even told Ava. You wanted everyone to have a good holiday and not worry. Besides you wanted to have fun. Which is why the four of you were going to some club tonight.
The four of you had went to dinner at this really nice restaurant. There were a few times when you’d caught Ransom looking at you all weird. “What?” You wrinkled your nose.
He cleared his throat before going back to picking at the salmon on his plate. “Nothing.”
As the drinks finally started flowing, you started to get a little loose. Ransom was sitting beside you being all sulky as he sipped from the glass of whiskey on ice.
“What’s wrong?” You asked him. Okay to be honest maybe you were more than a little loose, but you were just trying to have some fun.
“Nothing.” He glanced over at you then back to his drink.
“Hey,” this girl sat on the other side of him. “My friend was wondering if you wanted to dance.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why couldn’t your friend ask me herself?”
“She’s a little shy, but she’s cute.”
Ransom glanced over at you. “Nah. I’m just sitting here with my friend.”
The girl pouted, but finally left. You snickered. “I’m just sitting here with my friend,” you mimicked. “What too cool to dance?”
“Because I don’t know. I didn’t feel like it.” He shrugged then took another sip of his drink. “Do you wanna dance maybe?” He finally looked over at you and you were almost hypnotized, but managed to keep your composure.
“With you?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, Buttercup, with my grandpa.”
You laughed once again ignoring the nickname. Maybe it was kind of growing on you. It only took a year and a half. You stood up. “Fine, but you better not stomp on my feet.”
“I might on purpose.” He got up standing in front of you. For a minute you thought he might kiss you until he grabbed your hand to pull you onto the dance floor.
You didn’t want to admit this either, but you were having fun hanging out with Ransom. Ava and Simon were understandably in their own little bubble of love and you didn’t want to interrupt.
After the club Simon had the bright idea of going in the hot tub to warm up. Since you were all a little tipsy that sounded like a great idea.
You had to wear your long sweater out of the house since it was freezing. You in your own little space while Ransom seemed to scoot way to close to you. The four of you were just talking mostly. Enjoying the hot water after being in the freezing cold.
All of you were talking when Ava gave Simon a kiss, which got deeper to the point where they were showing you way more than you needed to see. “I think I speak for both of us in that we really do not want to witness the two of you procreating,” Ransom said.
Ava made a face at him while Simon laughed. He whispered in her ear where she pecked his lips again. The both of them started getting out right after. “We’ll see you two in the morning.” He grinned.
“Goodnight!” She said.
“Night,” you and Ransom said in unison.
You went to the side that your incredibly horny friends had been on which had been across from him. His eyes were closed with his head tilted back. You splashed water at him making him jump a little.
“Hey!” He splashed you back. You laughed as you did it a second time. “Alright, alright,” he said.
You did it again for good measure. “Can’t have someone seeing you have too much fun.”
He went back to his previous position this time putting his muscular arms on the ledge. You wouldn’t care to admit how long you stared at his biceps and shoulders. Then taking the quickest glance at his abs. Then that neck that you kind of wanted to put your mouth on. This is bullshit.
Why was he allowed to be this hot? It couldn’t be enough that he was an asshole. He had to be hot about it. Okay you looked at his pecs and tried to see if you could get a glance of what may have been in his swim trunk. Whatever.
“What are you doing?” He caught you, a smirk appearing on his annoyingly perfect face.
“It’s called minding my own business,” you replied. “You should try it.”
He laughed. “You’re such a brat.” You shrugged turning your head to look at nothing. “Is that what your sugar daddy sees in you?”
“He’s not my sugar daddy. I mean he buys me things like for my birthday, but... that’s not what our relationship is about. I don’t even know if we are in a relationship anymore.” You don’t know why you were spilling all of this to Ransom of all people.
Ransom frowned. “What happened?”
You looked down and sighed blowing out your cheeks after. “Well...” you sighed again. Your stomach was turning now. “You have to take it to your grave.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
You rolled your eyes. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
You sighed, biting your lip weighing in your options. On one hand it wasn’t Ransom’s business. You really hadn’t told Ava this. You didn’t want her to worry.
“So, he’s not my sugar daddy,” you said, hoping he got the hint.
You could tell he did by the grin on his face and the way he raised his eyebrows. “You?” He explained. “No there’s no way and here I always thought you’d be boring in bed.”
You rolled your eyes. “Shut up no you didn’t.”
“I took you for a dead fish kind of girl,” he teased. “It’s always the cute ones.”
Your eyes widened at what he said. Then so did his when he realized what he said. “Anyway, so yeah that’s how we started off as,” you decided to ignore what he’d just said.
“Alright so go on.”
“Yeah, so it turns out I’m not the only one,” you said. “He’s been going to these clubs and he doesn’t think that I know.”
His jaw dropped. “This is the plot twist I really wasn’t expecting. I gotta tell ya.”
You shook your head. “Shut up.” You splashed him again.
“Stop!” He laughed, doing it back to you.
As you kept splashing at him, he came over to you, grabbing your hands to keep you from doing it again. “Let go of me.” You laughed.
“No.” He wasn’t laughing anymore. Just looking at you. Fuck he was putting you under his spell. You were supposed to not looking into his eyes. How did you make this mistake so many times? “Y/N, I... don’t make things weird.”
“What?” You laughed.
“Yeah. Don’t make this weird,” he said again softly before brushing his lips against yours finally.
“And here I’d always heard that you were a ladies man, Ransom,” you teased. “That was kind of weak.”
“Yeah, well maybe you bring out the worst in me.” A dopey smile had spread across his face. It was okay because there was one on yours too.
“Oh whatever.” You rolled your eyes still smiling. He leaned over to kiss you again but you put your hand against his lips to stop him. “I’m getting kind of tired actually.”
You walked back to your room. All wrapped in your sweater because fuck it was freezing now. You also wouldn’t say this out loud, but his lips felt really nice. As you made it to the bedroom the two of you were sharing, he came on not too far after, grabbing your arm to pull you into a kiss. He’s so dramatic.
As his lips worked against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He felt so good. You can’t remember the last time David kissed you like this. “Fuck it’s actually really cold,” Ransom said.
You laughed. “I know I’m freezing.”
“How about we take a shower,” he said. “Maybe we could save some water together?”
“Oh yeah. We would totally be helping the environment.”
He grabbed you hand to lead you the rest of the way. You pulled off your wet clothes. As soon as you felt time hot water on your skin, you moaned. “
Jesus Christ, why not shower in hell,” he hissed.
“I’m already there.” You threw your arms around his neck. He leaned down to kiss you again. Pawing at your ass. He was so close this time.
You tried to act like nothing had happened as you finished getting ready for bed. As you got all settled under the covers, you felt your body finally start to warm up. He slid in next to you. This was the first time that you didn’t even attempt to put the wall of pillows up.
He pulled you all close to him. “You little shit! Are you naked?” You gasped.
He laughed. “Yeah. I don’t even know why you bothered.”
“Who said I was going to do anything with you?”
“Well, what if I tell you that,” he said, grabbing a handful of your ass, “I actually maybe sort of have feelings for you.”
Ah fuck.
Well, obviously.
But, ah fuck.
Why were you supposed to hate him again?
Because he was a giant asshole. He was rude to the help. Rude to everyone. Even you. Yet you still liked his stupid smug smile. That annoying laugh. You liked how he’d been surprisingly good company for this whole trip. Liked how he was holding you right now. You were pretty sure he could get an ugly haircut and you’d still like him. How he looked at you even when he was irritated with you.
Waiting for you to say something back.
“I... I have feelings for you, too.” You bit your lip after like you were nervous about what he might say back.
“Yeah?” He said with another dopey smile covering his face.
You nodded right before he bridged the gap first. Pressing your lips to his. His mouth moving ever so softly against yours. Like he was afraid you’d run away if he moved to quickly.
You deepened it and he finally pushed you down on your back. Ransom grabbed the back of your leg so you’d wrap it around his waist. Fuck he was already growing against you. “I still can’t believe you got dressed,” he pulled away to whisper in your ear. “You should have known I was just going to take everything off.”
You rolled your eyes. “Ever think that’s part of the fun.”
He chuckled before kissing you again. “Oh yeah?” He pulled away so he could start pulling down your sleep shorts. “You wanted me to take your clothes off?” You nodded, looking into his eyes. He hissed. “Didn’t even put-on panties, dirty girl.”
You laughed. “Do you like it?”
“Oh, I really, really like it.” He reached down to rub his hand up and down your slit. “What a pretty little pussy.”
You gasped. “Fuck.” His hands felt so good on you. He’d barely even touched you and it felt so, so good. Finally, his finger grazed your clit. He traced along it in a circle. “Stop teasing me!” You whined.
“Be patient, Buttercup.” He smirked.
“I’m going to kill you.”
“Shit,” he stopped, “I don’t have a condom.”
You shrugged. “I’m on birth control.”
He smirked. “Yeah, you want me to fuck you raw, Baby. Want me to cum in you?” He leaned back down to kiss your neck this time. His thumb was pressing into your clit now. Going on sweet, sweet circles. He stopped for a minute to pull off your top.
When you were fully naked and he finally put his mouth on your nipples, you needed him to just fuck you. “Please, Daddy,” you whimpered.
He went back to kissing your neck. “Yeah? You want me to be your daddy? Want me to take care of you.”
“God, yes.”
He lined himself up at your entrance. Looking into your eyes as he started to push into you. You closed your eyes tightly. “No, no open your eyes. I want you to look at me while I fuck you,” he commanded.
You nodded doing as you were told as he made you stretch over the thick head of his cock. You were so fucking wet just from him touching you like that. Your skin felt like it was on fire. You cried out as he inched into you. Fuck he was bigger than you’d expected. He was making you feel so full.
“Ransom,” you whimpered, he started out with shallow thrusts not going all the way in.
“Fuck, you’re fucking tight,” he groaned. “Can you even take it?”
You nodded. “I can take it, Daddy.”
He steadied his hips before finally shoving himself all the way inside of you. You gasped as he started fucking into you going so deep. Little droplets of tears formed in the corners of your eyes.
He was fucking you so good, your brain went blank. All you wanted was him. Wanted him to never stop fucking you. “Oh my god,” you whined.
“Yeah. Feels good?”
You nodded as you tried to take it. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Daddy making you feel good?” He panted. “Daddy’s gonna always make your pussy feel good, Baby. I’m gonna take care of you. Buy you whatever you want. Give you every fucking thing your boyfriend wouldn’t.”
Your pussy was gripping his dick like a vice. How were you so close already. “Please?”
“Is that what you want?” He asked in that condescending voice, you’d always hated, but fuck he was going to make you cum because of it. “Want me to buy you nice things. Be your boyfriend. Give you a fucking family.”
If he wasn’t balls deep inside of you, you would have probably reacted differently to him confessing that he wanted something with you. More than just this, but fuck hearing it like this only made you that more far gone. “Yes!” You moaned a little too loudly.
He clamped his hand over your mouth to shush you. “Shhh, Baby. You don’t want everyone to hear you getting dicked down do you? Want everyone to hear me fucking you?”
You shook your head, but stopped as you tilted your head back because you couldn’t stop it. Your eyes got all glazed over as your orgasm hit.
“That’s it, cum for me.” He breathed. “Fuck. I’m gonna cum in your pussy.”
“Yes,” you whimpered. You could feel him so deep in your stomach. You can’t remember the last time you got fucked like this. No one else had ever been able to do this to you.
As he finally couldn’t hold out anymore, cumming deep inside of you he still moved his hips. Making sure you got all of him.
He laid on top of you for a minute, not pulling you as you both came down from your orgasms. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. How the hell were you going to explain this to everyone.
He rolled beside you before pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his shoulder. Still trying to catch your breath. “Fuck.” He laughed.
You chuckled. “I know.”
“Why did we wait so long to do that again?” He asked.
“Because I hated you.” You didn’t mean to let out a bigger laugh because your lower half was way too sore for that.
He rolled his eyes. “Bullshit. No, you didn’t.”
“I wanted to.”
“Brat.” He chuckled. “I just... I meant everything I said.”
“What?”
“That I wanna be with you...” he replied. “That I wanna make an honest woman outta you.” You rolled your eyes, trying to maintain that damn facade. He was making it hard because this smile spread across your face. “I’ll even let you live with me when you pack your shit out of that old man’s house.”
“Moving so quickly? Ransom, I’m shocked at you.”
“Look, I’ve put up with your shit for a year a half already,” he explained, “I already know that I want you.”
“You fucking sap!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don’t you suck my dick about it?” He rolled his eyes.
You shrugged. “Okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
----------
You didn’t fall asleep until the sun was already coming up. Every time you tried before that; Ransom would start kissing your neck. You were exhausted, but satisfied in a way you hadn’t been in a long time.
You woke up to rustling on the bed. You tried to feel for him because although you were still cozy you wanted his warmth, but he wasn’t there. “Ransom?” You yawned, peeking your eyes open to him fixing the comforter.
Oh.
“Hey, Baby,” he said with a smile on his face. He leaned over to kiss your forehead. “I gotta go, okay. I have some errands I have to run.”
You nodded, before wrapping your arms around him. He held you to him tightly kissing your forehead more. “Do you have to?”
“Mhmm,” he replied. “I told Simon I’d help him with this surprise for Ava
“Okay. I love you,” you replied sleepily before dozing off again. He smiled down at you before laying you back down, kissing your forehead before leaving.
You woke up again to Ava jumping up and down on your bed. “Get up!” She cheered.
“What are you twelve?” You grumbled. Then your eyes cracked open when you fucking realized you’d told Ransom that you loved him. “Oh no.”
“What? Wait, are you naked?” She raised both of her eyebrows as she got settled beside you in bed. “Did you and Ransom...”
You shook your head, suddenly feeling like you might puke. You fucking told Ransom Drysdale that you loved him. “What? No. I just got really hot last night.”
“Where’s your pillow wall?” She asked with a smirk.
“We were too drunk last night to remember?”
“Bitch, you slept with Ransom Drysdale!” She gasped. “What about David?”
“Um... David and I are... I was already going to end things with him.
This annoyingly shit eating grin spread across her face. “You dirty slut. Okay, well, I don’t think Simon would mind if you stayed with us until you got back on your feet.”
“Actually, I already found a place. I just... I didn’t want to ruin your fun, ya know.”
She sighed. “Y/N, I’m your best friend. Your problems are my problems. I wouldn’t have cared if you told me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” You smiled.
“So...” another smile spread across her face, “how was it?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking.” You laid back down, turning on your side and ignored her as she continued to ask questions.
You got your nails done with Ava, Trish, and Simon’s sister. Still thinking about what you’d said to Ransom. Nerves had started to settle in that you’d done something wrong. Raking your brain trying to remember if he’d even said anything back. You couldn’t remember.
It was Christmas Eve now and there was supposed to be this super fancy party today that the family apparently threw every year. Of course, you were going to wear the dress Ransom had bought you. There was no question. It fit in more. Besides okay maybe you wanted to look pretty for him whatever.
Neither him or Simon had come back by the time everyone started getting ready. You did your makeup in Ava’s room before going back to yours to get dressed. The was a knock on the door as you’d just finished.
“Hey,” Ransom leaned down to kiss your cheek lightly to not mess up your makeup. Setting down a little gift bag on the bed. “You look... you look beautiful.”
You were going to have to get used to him being nice to you. “Thank you.”
“Sorry, it took so long. You know Simon. Has to go above and beyond.” He chuckled.
You waited for him to get ready, checking your phone. David had been texting you throughout the trip. Not that you ever responded. You thought when you’d get to the end of this trip, you’d be dreading the drive home. Instead, you were hopeful of what was to come.
"So, I kind of got you something,” he said before the two of you could leave the room.
You frowned. “I didn’t get you anything back.”
“That’s okay. I don’t think either of us were expecting this,” he replied. “I just wanted you to know I was serious about everything.”
“Okay.”
He clenched his jaw as he grabbed the bag he’d placed, taking out a jewelry box which he handed you. You looked up at him with those big eyes. “I saw you looking at it at that store so...”
“You’re such a sap,” you sniffled.
He smiled. “I just... when you told me I love you this morning, I didn’t say it back. I wanted to say it when I gave you this so... I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Yeah?”
You nodded and he pulled you to him, hugging you tightly. You really didn’t want to mess up your makeup so you forced yourself not to tear up. Except lipstick be damned because you were not, not going to kiss him.
It was taking you everything to not hold his hand as the two of you walked into where the party was starting to pick up a little. He looked so cute in his red sweater. Simon and Ava were being doted on by his grandparents.
“So, Ava kind of figured it out,” you said as he handed you a glass of champagne.
“How?” He asked.
“You didn’t lock the door and I was still naked under the covered.”
He snickered. “Should have given her an eye full.”
You shook your head. “I’ll give you an eye full.”
“You already did, Buttercup.” He shrugged.
“Why do you call me that?” You rolled your eyes.
His face started to get all red. You’d never thought in all your days you’d see Ransom blush. Between the two confessing your feelings for one another, of you having sex, you accidently telling him you love him, and him telling you that he wanted to be with you, making him blush made you feel like you’d won whatever game the two of you had been playing.
He sighed. “Well, okay, so when me and my cousin Meg were younger, she was obsessed with the Powerpuff Girls. I didn’t want to admit that I kind of liked it. Your bad attitude reminds me of Buttercup. She was my favorite.” He rolled his eyes looking away from you like he was embarrassed.
“You’re shitting me.” This smile spread across your face.
“Shut up.” He wrinkled up his nose.
“Never would have guessed that under all that wool and assholeness was a sweetheart waiting to burst out of the seams,” you teased him.
“You’re so lucky I think you’re pretty or else I think I might drop kick you.” He sighed.
----------
Christmas Day passed by nicely and easily. Mostly with everyone relaxing. You spent most of it tucked into Ransom’s side drinking hot chocolate watching Christmas movies with everyone because at this point the two of you are just a cliche. Which was fine because you liked it.
He’d whisper I love you in your ear. Or pull you under the mistletoe because he’s corny. Ava and Simon teased you while Trish swore that she called it, which she kind of did.
When it was time go home you were a little sad. You liked being in this little bubble with him. Now you’d have to go home and deal with having to officially break up with David and having to talk Ransom out of taunting him. Of course, Ava and Simon offered up their place until you got on your feet, but him being him pretty much demanded that you live with him.
Normally you would kick yourself for moving so quickly and you don’t know why, but you saw something in him. Of course, you weren’t going to be able to move all of your stuff out today, but there were two very important things that you needed. David wasn’t even there when you got home. He was probably still at his parents.
“Hope you like cats because I’m not leaving them,” you’d told him as you packed them into their carriers.
He groaned, throwing his head back. “Fine, but you’re giving me a blowjob as soon as we get home.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you said before placing a wet kiss on his cheek just to annoy him.
“Hey, you wanna have sex in his bed before we go?” He asked with a smirk.
“You’re an awful person, you know that?” You put your hands on his chest. “Of course I do.”
“God, I love you.” He grinned before pressing his lips to yours.
#ransom drysdale smut#ransom drysdale x black!reader#ransom drysdale x black woman#ransom drysdale x reader#ransom drysdale x plus size!reader#ransom drysdale x black!plus size reader#chris evans smut#chris evans x black!reader#chris evans x plus size reader#happyhoelidays2020
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care less, m | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader, implied taehyung x reader
summary: There are countless partings in this world. People come in and out of your life, impacts large and small. But there is one where you could care less. You really could. And that’s Min Yoongi, your high school ex-boyfriend, the one who took something from you and promptly disappeared, only to come back with a furious declaration, on the night you’re supposed to teach Kim Taehyung how to eat pussy.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, discussions about adult topics; mentions of slut shaming; reader is pansexual; rough angsty smut (fem reader, slight dom/sub themes, m-receiving oral, overstimulation, hair-pulling, cowgirl); regrets everywhere; non-idol!AU; exes-to-lovers; pianist, softsub!Yoongi
inspired by “I get mad when I see you, and even madder when I don't”, wet-haired Yoongi in Run BTS! 131, ONEWE’s song ‘소행성 (Parting)’, and you’re probably wondering how these things go together.
–
"How do you eat a girl out?"
"I... what?"
"How," Kim Taehyung repeated, slower this time, emphasizing each syllable with his impossibly deep voice. "Do you eat a girl out?"
"Why are you asking me?"
Taehyung raised his eyebrows. "Because you've hooked up with tons of girls. You must have eaten out at least one of them." You blinked at him as he continued. "I figure you have a unique perspective because you're a girl whose probably been eaten out and whose eaten out other girls."
You put down your spicy chicken. "Is this why you offered to buy me lunch?"
Taehyung's giant brown eyes shifted around uncomfortably. "Look," he said in a hushed tone. "I took this girl on a nice date and then it got to the spicy bit–"
"Leading her on, yes, yes, continue."
Taehyung narrowed his eyes at you but ignored your comment, barreling on. "And she asked me to eat her out, but I didn't know what I was doing."
"An absolute tragedy for sex god Kim Taehyung," you mocked. He growled and threw one of his chicken bones in your direction as you laughed.
"Oi, this is serious!"
You kept cracking up, taking a bite of spicy crispy meat. "Yes, seriously funny." He kept glaring at you, so you relented a little. "She didn't ask for the dick like everyone else?"
Taehyung pouted. "Well, she did, after I spent twenty minutes doing what she called, basically nothing," he scowled.
You shrugged. "Then you redeemed yourself, so what's the problem?"
Taehyung crouched over the table, stabbing your plastic tray. "The problem is, she's gonna tell other girls I can't eat pussy."
"Nah, she won't," you chewed, relishing the spiciness of the chicken. "She'll be too busy daydreaming about your giant dick."
Taehyung frowned, obviously not believing you. You casually are another piece of chicken, watching him contemplating. He was wearing cream slacks and a beige sweater, casually handsome with his dark brown hair, long enough to curl around his eyebrows. His fried chicken was already demolished into bones. He always got his not spicy.
You never understood that.
"Why didn't you ask me to eat you out?"
You shrugged. "We were only hooking up. I wanted to sit on your dick like everyone else."
"Teach me."
Your fingers were turning bright red with the crispy breading on the meat. You could feel the tingle of the spice on your puffy lips and throat, a measured fire burning. You didn’t bother to reach for your drink. Better to lull in the fire for a bit.
"Taehyung, it's just practice."
"Then let me practice on you."
You sucked out a bit of chicken from your teeth as you gave him a disbelieving look. "Thought your policy was to never fuck twice?"
He shrugged. "Not technically a fuck? Besides, you're the Sex Teacher," he added with a snicker.
You rolled your eyes. "Ugh, don't call me that. Some dudes started calling me that just because I took some guy's virginity."
"You've probably taken several virginities with your track record."
"Speak for yourself."
"Do you or do you not know how to eat a girl out?" Taehyung asked, brown eyes boring into you.
You picked up the toothpick the restaurant had provided you and stuck it between your teeth. Brushed the crumbs off your flannel dress and picked up your tray, standing up.
"'Course I do."
-
Thus, you were now in your apartment with Kim Taehyung, several days later, wondering why you agreed to this nonsense.
"Do I just whip off your pants or what?"
You rolled your eyes, keeping a firm grip on your gray sweatpants. He had arrived in a long black coat and brown turtleneck, black billowy slacks. Kicked his shoes off and presented you with said question.
"What do I get out of this?" you grumbled, turning around and heading into your apartment, shivering a little because of your loose white t-shirt that you had cut in half ages ago, turning it into a crop top. It had a stain at the bottom, so what better way to fix it than chop it off? Still, you should have opened the front door with your hoodie on, but it would warm up soon with the door now closed.
"What do you what? Money?"
"I'm not a prostitute, Taehyung," you muttered. "Even if you think I am."
"I don't," Taehyung said coolly. "But money happens to buy things, so maybe you want some to buy something for yourself."
You pursed your lips, grabbing your mint thermos of warm water. It was a bit weird, but you preferred warm water over most drinks, except soda. But you couldn't be binging on soda all day, unfortunately, so you tried not to buy it and stuck with the water. Kept you from getting diabetes. Damn you, weak human body!
"Nice nips."
You raised an eyebrow as you took a sip. You weren't wearing a bra. Your hard nipples were poking through the t-shirt thanks to the cold.
"Are they distracting your fragile mind?"
Taehyung smiled, dark curls around his teasing brown eyes. "No, I'm simply appreciating them. A lot."
You looked down. Taehyung opened his coat. You sucked in the side of your lip, seeing his bulge. Maybe he was too chill with you now. Ever since you two realized your sex partners overlapped, a strange friendship developed. You’d talk about it casually with him, as if you two were discussing Pokémon trading cards instead of one-night stands. He would advise you against so-and-so and you would warn him about who-the-fuck-ever. Of course, you two only figured that out after you sat on his dick, but, hey, it was a nice dick. Lived up to the hype.
Unlike Taehyung, you didn't really have any weird rules when it came to hooking up. You went with the flow, and if you were feeling it, then you did it. Didn't really matter who it was, what gender, if they wanted to be upside down on a park bench as you sucked their balls and they jacked off into their own face (happened once, was kind of interesting to be honest). Taehyung, however, had some kind of conquest thing going on, numbers and all that, and needed everyone to know he was good at it. Insanely good. Mind-blowingly good.
Taehyung closed his coat, tilting his head. "Whatchu want then? Not another fuck. Something else."
Your doorbell rang.
"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you muttered, slamming your thermos down and marching to the door. "What is this, a fucking zoo, I swear–"
You wrenched the door open.
"Fuck you."
Slightly slurred, husky, deep.
Okay, well, yeah, sure, after I teach Taehyung how to–
The black head of hair raised and your thought disintegrated into pure shock.
"I get mad when I see you," the man growled. "And even madder when I don't."
He was holding a half-full bottle of soju.
"I... what?" was your incredibly weak reply, because you were staring at the hunched form of Min Yoongi. Black hair longer than the last time you saw him, styled over a clean undercut, wearing a torn-up black bomber jacket and a green t-shirt, acid-wash jeans with giant holes, revealing his pink, slightly bruised knees. He was breathing hard, glaring at you.
Accusing you.
Suddenly the years without him felt like an eternity.
"Hyung?!"
Oh right. Taehyung existed.
But you couldn't react, couldn't breathe, starstruck, awestruck, dumbstruck at seeing Min Yoongi at your doorstep. Yoongi cocked at eyebrow, looking past you, and Taehyung's body was suddenly pressed against your back, reminding you, yes, he was real, actually there, why was he there again? What was life?
"Hyung, holy shit! I haven't seen you in ages, since..." Taehyung's voice suddenly died, baritone vanishing into nothing.
"Why the fuck is he here?" Yoongi grunted.
"I... was going to ask her to–"
"He was leaving," you interrupted, shoving Taehyung from behind you to in front of you. "Taking his coat and leaving."
"What?" Taehyung sputtered, brown eyes wide, confused, blinking rapidly. "Hyung, why do you have a bottle of soju–"
Yoongi clicked his tongue, very loudly.
"Forget this."
He turned, but Taehyung grabbed his arm.
Not you.
Taehyung stopped Yoongi.
The world was so cold. Your arm outstretched but touching nothing, because Taehyung was faster, Taehyung was closer, and you were so very far away from Min Yoongi. Yoongi turned his head slowly, venom in his gaze.
"Hyung."
Yoongi's eyes locked with yours, making you breathless.
"I don't understand," Taehyung said quietly. "What's going on? I thought you didn't care about her."
Those cat-like eyes narrowed, expression cold and emotionless. "Is that what you told them?"
It was airless and then the world burst into flames.
"You didn't tell me until the last day," you hissed, curling your hands into fists, voice rising. "You told all your friends, but you didn't tell me until the last day, not until the very last second before you flew to fucking Europe to go to university for that fucking music program!"
Taehyung's eyes widened. "Y-You said she didn't care..."
"Fuck you, Min Yoongi," you snarled, every muscle in your arms tensing, remembering all the moments, the gentleness that turned to coldness, the last night and what he took from you, turning into years and years of not caring about anything, fucking everything in sight, anyone who said yes, trying to forget his kiss and his memory before he got on a fucking plane and flew time zones away, never trying to contact you after.
"Fuck you for thinking you can be angry at me for any reason at all, fuck you for thinking I did anything, fucking anything, to deserve that shit, taking my fucking virginity and leaving me!"
"I didn't take your virginity," Yoongi spat back, spinning around, hair bristling. "You lost it to that–"
"Maybe you should have fucking asked me instead of believing stupid fucking rumors!"
The human body was useless, but also driven by emotion, and you didn't even feel cold anymore, years of anger piled up, rumors that you were a whore, so you became that whore, owning it, doing it all, because why did it fucking matter when everyone already thought that? Sex Teacher they called you and your first teacher was standing in front of you, completely clueless.
Fucking idiot.
Yoongi glared at you. You glared back.
Taehyung stood there, gawking.
Yoongi's eyes dropped. He shoved the half-empty bottle of soju into Taehyung's arms and pushed Taehyung aside, Taehyung flailing to prevent dropping the glass bottle, and closed the distance between you and him, and now you could see, older, more tired, still handsome, still the same dreamer from years ago who traced your fingers and placed them on the keys, slowly helping you play the notes even though you didn’t know jack shit, and you enthralled with his smile, his laugh, his dream of becoming a world-renowned pianist.
Yoongi grabbed your face and kissed you.
The first was the scent of alcohol, a subtle sweetness on his lips, but alcohol nonetheless. The second was the softness, the faint flush of his cheeks paired with his lips on yours, dainty despite the strength in grip on your cheeks. The third.
Heat.
The years-old iceberg of 'I-don't-give-a-shit' melting faster than the polar ice caps, sheets and sheets of ice crashing into the sea of emotions, youth and stubbornness combined, melted in his kiss, you grabbing a fistful of his shirt and yanking him in your apartment, Taehyung calling after you both.
"Um, guys? Hello?"
"Go drinking Taehyung," Yoongi growled and slammed the door.
-
Taehyung held the half-bottle of soju.
What now?
What about his reputation?
He frowned.
Maybe he should call up Park Jimin.
Taehyung took a sip of the soju as he walked away. He made a disgusted face. Ugh. Why did hyung like such strong shit? The flavor was unique and rich, but his throat felt like a layer of skin was being sloughed off.
One would only drink something like this if they were depressed.
Oh.
-
"Your reputation precedes you."
"Fuck off."
"You became quite a woman."
"And you're still an insensitive shit."
You yanked his jacket off and dumped it on the floor, fists back in his green shirt, biting his lip, kissing him hard, him gasping in your mouth, his hands on your breasts, kneading them through the t-shirt, fingertips brushing over your hard nipples, sparks of pleasure crackling through you.
"I was trying to protect you," Yoongi snarled, just as angry as you, both frustrated at time lost, both knowing it was for the best, both realizing that his misunderstanding and your reaction was just shitty communication of stubborn youth and time past that couldn't reset.
But still.
Anger doesn't care about reason.
"Protect me, my ass," you scowled, dragging him into your kitchen, pinning him against the counter. "What do you think I am, emotional fragility queen?"
"You wouldn't have cared?" he shot back, gripping your shirt and flinging it up, sucking in a breath as he revealed your tits.
"Obviously! Why would I spend years being a slut to forget about your stupid hands?" you scowled, grabbing his wrists, planting said hands on your breasts, shuddering at the cold touch, chilled by night air, not exactly the same hands as back then, but better, rougher, strength of a man and not a high school boy, thumb and index finger rolling your hard nipples. Once again, fistfuls of his shirt, shaking him aggressively through heavy breaths. "You and your stupid mouth."
Kissing him, not the same, but better, stronger, more intense, stained with alcohol and regrets, devouring your tongue hungrily, intertwining.
"It would have ended the same," Yoongi murmured, the hurt creeping in his grating voice.
It would have.
And that was the shittest bit.
Knowing that even if he told you earlier that it would hurt no less, knowing that you would have gone and fucked other people anyway, because even if you tried to make it long distance, it wouldn't have worked. Some people could do it, but not young you and young Yoongi, too immature to know the meaning of wait.
"Still gives you no right to believe the words of others instead of asking me outright," you muttered, bending him backwards on the counter with your weight and he was letting you do it, hands still glued to your tits. "Why would believe that shit?"
"Because it was easier to leave you that way," Yoongi admitted, shame flitting in his dark eyes.
"Fucking shit, you're an idiot."
You already knew that. Guessed, after years of agonizing over it. Easier to be angry than understanding. Easier to feel pain than to acknowledge it. What could you do? Tell him not to go to Europe? Not when his parents, his family, his friends, his neighbors, fuck, the whole damn school was ecstatic and congratulatory for him, everyone except you, not because you didn’t want Yoongi to follow his dreams, but because you wanted him to stay.
With you.
Selfishly.
And so, it was so much easier to be mad, so much easier for the two of you to fight until he tumbled on top of you, kissing you, tearing off your clothes as you tore off his and the first time hurt, it hurt but not as much as you thought, maybe because there was so much adrenaline from the anger and because he was so careful and loving about it.
He really was.
And there was pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain you felt the next day and the day after, and the next month, years, numbing everything, agreeing to really stupid propositions like the thing with Taehyung, all because you knew and he knew, but you both chose to be mad over being reasonable.
You hauled Yoongi up onto your kitchen counter, him kicking the side of the cabinets to lift himself up, not speaking. One look in his eyes and you saw yourself reflected in them, so close to tears that you kept your mouth shut and he kept his shut, preferring the anger to the sadness.
Because deep down, you were so, so happy to see Yoongi again.
It didn’t discount any of the wrongs though.
You fumbled with the button of his jeans and his hands came to help, unzipping, fingertips tracing over yours, more agile than before, swifter than an amateur. You raised your head, locking your gaze with his.
Yoongi was panting, cheeks flushed, guilt consuming his features.
It stung.
You yanked his pants down unceremoniously, not caring right now about stupid young you and stupid young Yoongi, gripping his underwear and dragging them down, his hard cock springing up, bigger than you remembered, thicker, red tip twitching, still wanting it just as bad, not looking at his face and closing your mouth in on it, gripping his hips and pulling him closer for better leverage. His scent and moan encompassed you, your eyes shutting as your tongue circled around his hot length, swallowing it up, oh so good, so good, better than anyone else’s because it was the one you tried to forget, entranced by the way Yoongi’s cock slid down your throat and filled your mouth, hearing his ecstasy from your touch, gasps of pleasure as you began to bob your head up and down, tongue going from the bottom of the head, down the quivering veins, all the way to the base, nudging his balls with the tip of your tongue, a skill you learned from many, many blowjobs.
You opened your eyes and you knew your guilt was in them. Yoongi could see it with every mouthful of his cock disappearing into your lips, his eyes half-lidded and pupils dilated, empathizing.
“Yeah, so what if we’ve fucked other people?” he grunted, rolling his hips into your face and making you growl in your chest. “I could care less.”
Yeah, you could, and me too.
Faster and tighter, suffocating him with your mouth, hands flat on the counter, blowing him at the same spot you were eating a fucking salad two hours ago before Taehyung’s arrival and contemplating tongue techniques, back when your iceberg of uncaring was still intact but now it was part of the ocean of emotions once more, watching Yoongi unravel, rubbing his fists into the granite, crying out and arching his back, black hair fanning out with every harsh swallow and throat clench around the head, leaking pre-cum into your throat and throbbing into the roof of your mouth.
“F-Fuck me…”
He hissed out your name and snapped his chin to his chest, thrusting into your mouth, exploding, salty thickness coating your tongue and down your tight throat, you gulping it down with a choked gasp, his taste a part of you now after all this time, an edge of bitterness that you welcomed, who knew what the fuck he was eating before this, but you didn’t care, didn’t care, you had Yoongi’s cock in your mouth and every second was worth it.
Your tongue coated the head, collecting the dribbling cum and you swallowed that too, glaring at him. Lowering down once more, swallowing him to the base once again, him sucking in a pained breath at the sensitivity because your throat was unforgiving, constricting him as forcefully as you could, tongue sliding up, teasing right under the head, the thin skin that make Yoongi squirm and hiss under you, spreading the slit with the tip of your tongue. Yoongi slapped his palms onto the counter, clenching his jaw to avoid screaming.
But he didn’t stop you.
He simply watched you with pained eyes, letting you do whatever you wanted, thrashing under your merciless mouth, rutting the sensitive head against the roof of your mouth roughly, his body thrashing to try to get away, but still Yoongi said nothing, thin moans escaping his closed lips, even twisting his hips back and rocking them into your face to let you abuse him more, manhandling him to your heart’s content. You kept going, long agonizing minutes, strongly sucking the head, shoving it all the way to the back of your throat, teasing it with your tongue, swirling around and around, pressure, roughness, tightness, aggravating the sensitive skin until you saw Yoongi on the verge of tears.
He still didn’t stop you.
You retreated, your lips now only around the head, tongue ghosting over the pulsating, inflamed tip, drenching it with saliva.
“You deserved that,” you muttered.
“I deserve a lot of things,” Yoongi grunted, finally relaxing his shoulders and laying flat against the counter, panting hard, cheeks still flushed, staring at the ceiling.
Neither of you were saying sorry.
You gave him one last painful suck and he swore under his breath, but didn’t say anything else, biting his lip hard as you popped your mouth off his cock. For a few moments, there was nothing but oppressive, irate panting. Yoongi’s dick was still hard and sticking straight up, he himself spread out on your kitchen counter like a fucking buffet, still wearing his shirt and half-wearing his jeans. You were shirtless, tits out, gray sweatpants slung low on your hips.
“When are you going back?”
Yoongi was still staring at the ceiling.
“Don’t know.”
“Liar.”
Dark eyes flickered down.
“If you asked me five minutes ago, the answer would have been in two weeks.”
Your eyes narrowed, boring into his. “How many blowjobs have you gotten overseas, huh? One hundred? Five hundred?” Frustration, grief, vehemence, all rolled into one, turning your voice into ice, sheets of frozen water churning and reforming, snapping together one by one with each word, your hands coming up and digging your nails into his thighs, racking them down, bright red scratches in your wake. “How many people have you fucked? Do you think I’m fucking stupid, Yoongi?”
He gritted his teeth, screwing his eyes shut, fingers curling onto fists at the pain.
“I really thought you didn’t care,” was his distressed hiss.
You stopped; nails sunk into his pale skin, creating dark crescents with how hard you were pressing.
“I thought you would hate me forever.”
Your hands left his thighs, glaring scarlet lines of your pain on his skin now.
“And I thought it would get better, but it didn’t.”
His fingers uncoiled, one by one. Long, deft digits, practiced, trained, beautiful, crescents of pink from his own nails in his palm. Eyes opening, lash by lash, lifting, dark, pained, regretful, drifting down to you and his exposed, still-hard cock, just there, ignored, surrounded by scratch marks.
“I was mad that you didn’t try to contact me,” Yoongi mumbled. “And madder at myself for not trying to contact you.”
Ice cracking, melting off, crashing back down into the vast ocean of emotion.
You reached into your pocket.
Your name, tumbling from his lips, his eyes shifting to you.
“In between countless partings, the one I always remembered was you.”
You climbed onto the counter, sweatpants and underwear on the floor. Yoongi’s eyes widened in shock, so stunned that he couldn’t stop staring at you, knees, thighs, crotch – clean, you were always clean-shaven, but he didn’t know that, a habit you developed without him and now you felt weird with hair down there – and so he could see everything, wet lips glistening. Up to your waist, a pattern of small moles above your bellybutton that high-school Yoongi had danced his fingers over.
Saying, “My Milky Way, my galaxy.”
This was after you called him an insensitive bastard and he accused you of losing your virginity to some athletic jock kid, as if high-school you would ever have a chance with someone like that.
Up your tits, your collarbones, your face.
Determined.
Yoongi jumped, realizing you had wrapped your hand around his cock and pumped it a few times before rolling down the condom, angling your pussy above the purple-red head. He made eye contact with you.
“I can’t go back if you do this,” he whispered.
“Boo-fucking-hoo, shut your trap.”
You sank down and he clamped his jaw shut, veins on his neck popping out in strain as Yoongi tried not to cry, your previous ministrations amplifying the sudden hot, wet pleasure that overwhelmed him, you sighing in bliss as he filled you, nicer than before, better because you knew what to do now, relaxing your muscles before pulsing around him, his eyelids fluttering, whines in his throat, palms flat on the granite, such beautiful hands that you reached down and put them on your thighs, wanting him to touch you.
Dark brown eyes shaking, pupils dilated, fingernails digging into your skin.
“Isn’t that what you do? Use your hands all day?” you taunted.
He gripped your thighs tight, apology flashing across his features.
“You better not cum before I do,” you snapped, rocking your hips a little.
Yoongi sucked in a breath. “I’ll try.”
You leaned forward, one hand on the counter, the other closing in on his black hair. Twisting the black locks in your fingers, gripping so hard your knuckles were white, but you weren’t pulling on his hair, only holding it, but your eyes told him everything.
“You fucking owe me.”
Him staring into your blazing eyes.
“I owe you for the rest of my life.”
You rolled your hips into his crotch, hard, smacking your ass down on his balls and he whimpered, jerking his head to the side and pulling his own hair, whimper turning into a wounded gasp.
“Shut the fuck up. We both know you deserved that scholarship, you talented asshole.”
You began your pace, bruising and intense from the start, unforgiving, but you had already forgiven him, years ago, by yourself with no one else to know, now your hand in his hair with Yoongi writhing under you, causing his own pain flaring across his scalp because your grip was so tight, his hands on your thighs, his length sliding out and then shoved back in. You could feel him getting harder, swelling more, the sensation unbearable so he kept igniting the pain to prevent himself from orgasm. You made sure to let the maximum amount of your skin to hit him – clit on his crotch, pussy enveloped around his cock, the tip hitting your deepest, most pleasurable spot, ass smacking against his balls – so that even you moaned, shivers of ecstasy layering on top of each other, climbing notes of a song from long ago.
Now continuing.
From that night at your parents’ house that bedroom of painful and lovely memories, his hands on your wrists, telling you that he could go slow until you felt better, how could he not know? Yoongi just assumed it was because you weren’t aroused since you were so angry at him, and you never accused him of having any experience before you, and to be honest you didn’t give a shit; if that was society’s fault or your feelings for him, you didn’t know. It all seemed so foolish back then, stupid, why were you so attached to a high-school boy when there were thousands of other men and women out there, and you tried, you fucked them, but in the end.
In the end, it wasn’t the roars of pleasure or multiple orgasms or big dicks or sweet pussy that made you feel the same as you felt when you looked down at Yoongi, eyes rolling back, biting his lip so hard the skin was white, black hair bunched around your fingers, his fucking green t-shirt still on but you could tell every muscle was tensed and he was barely breathing, anything to prevent himself from orgasm, knuckles white on your thighs, clutching them so hard they would surely leave bruises, but you didn’t care.
Yoongi was a genius. He could play the piano like no one else.
Someone could be technically better, someone could be more experienced, someone could be more nuanced, but no one felt music like Yoongi felt music, no one loved piano like how Yoongi loved piano.
He deserved every cent, every experience, every year he spent overseas.
He seemed to feel your gaze on him and his eyes found yours, black pupils nearly overtaking the irises, sweating so bad that his t-shirt was soaking down the front.
“Hold on,” you breathed. “Hold on for me, Yoongi.”
He whined pathetically.
Did he love you as much as he loved piano or was it the soju talking?
Who are you kidding?
Yoongi would never love you as much as the piano.
You set your jaw and leaned down a little more, bending his cock the tiniest bit, more leverage to go harder, rougher, rolling your spine down, smack! Onto his crotch, Yoongi’s mouth flying open and crying out your name in shock, your knees screaming on the harsh granite but you didn’t care, fucking Yoongi for all you were worth, using every muscle and every technique you knew to apply as much pressure as you could, choking his dick. Yoongi’s hands jolted off your thighs, hitting your open thermos on the counter, both of your forgetting it was there this whole time, the double-walled, stainless steel, mint thermos.
It toppled and spewed warm water all over your thighs, your joined crotches, part of his shirt, probably leaking down his ass and onto the counter.
You yelped at the sudden unexpected wet warmth. Yoongi’s hips jerked up, wild moan escaping his lips and your pussy spasmed, orgasm plummeting into you, a sudden avalanche that made your eyes roll back and a guttural groan vibrate your chest, both hands inadvertently clasping and yanking on Yoongi’s hair, and he lost it, whining your name as he came, hard cock lurching and convulsing against your walls, shooting his load into the condom, his cries extending to wanton, pained moans. It took everything in you to at least loosen your fingers, spreading them on his scalp and holding his head as gently as you could, whole body shuddering, even your jaw, not able to say his name properly because your teeth were clattering uncomfortably against each other.
You closed your eyes.
Listening to Yoongi’s strained breathing. Hearing pain, sadness, his raspy voice from long ago, words in the seconds before you feel asleep in his arms from being worn out from anger and losing your virginity. All this time, wanting to believe it was silence, wanting to believe he said nothing, letting yourself believe in your lie to fuel your rage.
“I am sorry.”
You opened your eyes, lowering your chin. Yoongi’s dark orbs, glassy and spent, trying to focus on your face. His hand came up, still wet with the spilled water, and you realized you had pitched forward a little from the force of your orgasm.
His fingers danced on the small mole pattern above your bellybutton.
“My Milky Way. My galaxy,” he whispered softly.
Lovingly.
Guilt all over his face.
“I have to go back. I have performances, opportunities.”
You leaned down. “Stop lying, Yoongi.” Eyes locked with his and a smile. “You want to go back. Because you are an ambitious, talented asshole.”
You knew you were right. You could see it in his eyes, the quickness as he looked away, not wanting to face you. You slumped down, knees giving out, Yoongi’s cock half-buried in you, slowly softening, but it didn’t matter. You put your full weight on him, fitting your chin on his shoulder, not quite looking at his face, nose far too close to your fucking kitchen counter. Yoongi grunted uncomfortably, but didn’t tell you to get off. There was water everywhere and the mint thermos was on the tile floor and somehow neither of you had noticed. It must have made a very loud sound.
“I hate my job anyway. Might as well run away to a different continent for some stupid boy.”
“I can’t ask you to come with me.”
“I’m not asking.”
He chuckled.
“You really have changed.”
“Sucks for you.”
You felt his arms wrap around your waist.
“Guess so.”
-
“Why was Taehyung here anyway?”
“I was supposed to show him how to eat pussy.”
Yoongi blinked at you, holding a damp rag. Both of you were kneeling on the floor, naked, attempting to sop up the mess. “How?”
“He was going to practice on me.”
“I can give a live demonstration instead,” Yoongi growled, an edge possessive.
“Yeah, no, I think my night is booked. Emergency appointment.”
You picked up your kitchen towels and wrung them out in your sink, looking down at him, raising your eyebrow. Yoongi’s hair was messy and curled, wet from sweat and water. He gazed up at you. You saw him shiver. You kept your expression neutral despite your heartbeat racing.
“Have some catching up to do.”
--
masterpost
#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi smut#bts smut#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x you
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when the ball drops
summary: out of all the times you wanted to bail, for once you were certainly glad you didn’t ditch this year’s new year’s eve party.
↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you
↳ warnings: language, parties, drinking, flirty banters + a smitten mat (set in a pandemic free au)
↳ genre: fluff, meeting a total stranger, early 2000’s romantic/comedy typa thing (what i think at least)
↳ length: imagine; 5.9k
↳ masterlist: the barn
note: this is an entry for @hockeynetwork’s winter fic exchange and i was matched as @bqstqnbruin’s secret santa! i genuinely hope you get to enjoy this, boo!! i wanna thank a few mutuals, @tkachukme @calgarycanuck @pizzarandomness (esp @thirteenisles !!) for helping me out so i could get thru with writing this imagine! you guys are so nice i truly appreciate all of you. happy holidays & happy new year, everyone! 💕 (gif used: mine)
Every year you swear to yourself that you would spend the New Year’s at home, eating a peaceful dinner by yourself and maybe enjoy a good bottle of wine whilst you spend the whole night watching The Holiday. But just like all the other years you have spent alone since you’ve moved to New York, you end up breaking that same promise, pretty much with the help of your two best friends Emma and Katie.
Now, instead of being curled up in your living room, wearing your favourite knitted sweater and away from all the New Year chaos happening all at once in the very best place to celebrate such a festive occasion, here you are, getting your second glass of vodka tonic as you wait for the goddamn ball to drop.
The local bar has always been crowded especially during this time of the year. You and your friends already made it an annual thing which is probably the reason why despite the yearning you have for the idea of spending it all alone, you couldn’t find enough courage to ditch them and disappear even just for one night.
“Where are the girls?” Gavin, the owner of the bar whom you’ve already befriended due to the amount of times you and the girls spent helping him close up was busily wiping the counter when you sat in your usual seat.
You casually motioned your hand to where you left Emma and Katie, dancing with men they’d most certainly end up kissing once the clock strikes twelve.
“Alone again? You’ve got to blow off some steam, y/n.” He greets you with a concerned look exuding from his virile exterior. You idly shake your head, giving him a tight smile to reassure him that you were doing okay.
“It’s not that big a deal.” is the usual thing you say to people when your being ‘alone’ on the holidays becomes in question. “Besides, I’m a big girl, Gavs.” You proudly announce, leaning against the bar with your palm resting underneath your chin.
“I know you’re a ‘big girl’.” He rolls his eyes before his gaze trails off to your friends and then landing onto a couple of young lads from across the room. “I’m just saying, loosen up. Meet people. It feels nice to have someone holding you close at night so don’t be too hard on yourself.”
A snort bursts from you as soon as you hear the words leave Gavin’s mouth. Who would have known a guy as tough-looking as him would be too much of a softy underneath?
“What?” He holds his guard as he continues making your drink. The liquid swirling around a few ice cubes and a shot of liquor.
“Nothing, nothing. I just– I didn’t think you were one of those people.” You say, clearing your voice once you’ve finally gathered yourself. “You know, the sappy romantics.”
Gavin looks at you, giving you an ‘Oh, please.’ look. “No, ‘cause that’s where you’re wrong.” He protests. “I’ve always been this soft, “sappy romantic” kinda guy. You just choose to see me the way you see me; a typical macho man who hands you good drinks.” He pauses, finishing off with the last touches of your drink. “But you know what? That’s fine. ‘Cause that’s how I know you’re just like me.” He then slides the cold drink towards you.
“What do you mean?” You were intrigued to be fair. You already had your head tilted to the side trying to piece something that could justify what he just said.
“That.” He looks at you, index finger circling before your eyes to make his argument even more compelling. “You act like a strong independent woman, which by the way you still are,– but you have to admit that you do want someone who’s gonna want to spend his New Year’s watching that dumb old movie of yours.” He says with a grin before he pours another customer a shot of tequila.
You were sure you wanted to just shrug it off, but somehow, you can’t help but think of how his words hit you in the subtlest way. Each word bearing an insane amount of possibilities of him being right all along.
But what’d he know anyway? It’s not like he knew you better than anyone else. Maybe it’s just his way with words. Or maybe he’s just that good. After all, that’s basically the reason why he’s running a goddamn bar, right?
𖥸
It wasn’t Mat’s first time spending New Year’s away from his family but if he only had a choice, he’d certainly take the next plane with no question. However, given how the team’s fight for the Cup is going stronger than the last season, he couldn’t bring himself to risk going away and missing out on his usual routines. So, for the past couple of weeks he’d let himself be stuck with Beauvillier throughout the holidays.
Now, for the sake of festivities, the two decided it’d be best to come out to the city and have fun welcoming the New Year along with some good friends that were surprisingly available at the last minute. That being said, the local bar was already the third one they’ve gone to having started the drinking binge earlier than intended.
“Happy New Fucking Year, Motherfuckers!” The loudest and perhaps, the drunkest man cheered at the center of the dance floor, holding up his drink carelessly as he danced to the mind numbing EDM coming off from the DJ’s booth.
“Way to get wasted. Am I right?” Dan says as he stands to gather everyone and clink their beer mugs for the nth time.
“Somebody’s definitely gonna miss the ball drop.” Tito snides, referring to the drunken man cheering tirelessly. Mat shakes his head and idly laughs. Their glasses meet halfway, causing some of the beer to spill over the table. The loud music and cheers echoed in Mathew’s ears, finding the whole scene a little too overwhelming despite how he liked to loosen up with bottomless drinks coming his way.
Somehow, he was thankful that he needed a second to breathe which only meant having to take his eyes off of the same guys he hangs with on and off the ice. Because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been able to see someone so beautiful yet seemingly out of place when his gaze landed onto that one girl sitting by the bar all by herself at what seems to be the loudest pub in the city.
“God, she’s pretty.” The words unknowingly slip off his tongue, making him realize he’s announced his thoughts out for the group just enough to make their brows quirk at the now out-of-reach Mathew.
“What?” Anthony leans closer to him so as to give himself a view of what Mat had his eyes peeled for.
“That girl by the bar, she’s— she’s really pretty.” Mathew says, completely sure that he has never said anything true in his life. Much to his surprise, the boys gathered around and turned their heads towards the girl sitting by the bar.
“So? Go and talk to her, man.” Anthony casually proposes with a nudge, urging him to go after her.
Mathew immediately lets out a foolish scoff and chooses to gulp a large amount of liquor from his mug.
“Yeah, just go for it. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Tyson chides, looking at the girl who has utterly made their night a little more interesting. That being said, being stuck with the three biggest blokes wasn’t that too interesting to begin with.
“Oh, worst thing? She could hear me!” Mat runs a hand through his hair, incapable of taking his eyes off of her even just for a second.
“You know if you don’t, I will.” Tyson puts his beer down and acts as if to make the move Mathew was too hesitant to do himself in order to boost his mate.
“Fuck off. Fine. Hold my beer.” Mat rolls his eyes and shoves Tyson his mug before gathering himself by straightening creases off his suit along with a few sharp breaths to ease out the nervousness he’d been feeling.
You watch the teeny tiny leaf of mint swirl around the whirl of liquor you’ve successfully made, ignoring all the background noise, still evidently fixated on the words Gavin has left you with earlier. Has it really been that long since you allowed yourself to be fully vulnerable around someone?
A sad smile escapes your lips, one that made the man that was now towering all over you wonder what could have possibly caused such melancholy on the most beautiful girl he has seen all throughout the city. That’s a rather heavy way to put it but that doesn't mean he was lying. He did find you really pretty. Maybe even a little too much and too out of his league.
A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts.
“Hi.” He says, gray eyes illuminated by the strobe lights hitting your direction. You give him a tight smile, acknowledging his presence and frankly even the boldness he had to strike up a conversation.
“I just wanted to ask if what you’re drinking is any good.” Mat subconsciously reprimands himself for coming up with what is yet to be the lamest thing he’s ever told a girl.
Great. Now, you’re asking her if a vodka tonic is good? As if it could get any better? He thinks to himself. So, to compensate and reduce further damage, he plays it off by laughing quite sheepishly as he absent-mindedly massages his nape.
Noticing what the man was doing, you let out a shy laugh too, biting your lower lip as you find his foolish attempt of hitting on you quite adorable.
“Wow. You’re really good at this.” You tease, now giving away a playful smile, poking at his middle school pick up line.
Mathew chuckles. His doe eyes shy and alienated by the confidence he certainly knew he had not until a few seconds ago when he met yours. “I swear I’m better than this.” He tries again, this time earning himself a soft giggle from you.
Atta boy, Mat.
“I’m Mat by the way. Mathew Barzal.”
He reaches out his hand which you gladly took. It was calloused and rough around the edges whilst Mat found yours completely fitting in his. Your eyes meet halfway as you both shook each other’s hands. Fingers lingering quite longer than it should be.
“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”
“So, you’re telling me you haven’t had a tonic before?” You ask him, hands now all to yourselves. Mat leans against the bar, his elbow resting on the counter, unable to suppress the embarrassment now dawning on him upon remembering his little set back.
“I’m sort of a vodka tonic connoisseur.” He kids in an attempt to redeem himself. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”
You look at him, shaking your head at how unbelievably gorgeous this man is. “Fine. It wasn’t. I’ll give you that.”
“So,” He takes a deep breath before taking one of the empty seats beside you. “I– I can’t help but wonder, I mean– if it’s not too forward of me, how come you’re drinking alone on New Year’s?”
You take a sip off of your drink and faintly shake your head, dismissing his query. “Hmm. Actually, no.”
Mathew muttered an “oh.” at the thought of hearing what he thinks you’re about to say next. To his surprise, and frankly feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, you motion towards your best girls, Emma and Katie who were now obviously way too fond of the guys they just met.
“See those girls?”
Mathew nods, the answer to his question now becoming much clearer and put together. An answer that absolutely went along with his cards well.
“Those are two of the most important persons in my life going at it at a New Year’s Eve Party.”
“Would it be wrong to ask why aren’t you ‘going at it’ like how they’re doing it now?”
Is he always this formal? You think, lips curving to a grin.
“What?” He asks when he sees the expression (he can’t quite put a finger on) on your face.
“Nah. I’m all good. I mean, not that I don’t want to. I just–” You pause. Unsure of whether telling him the truth would do your case any better. What’s there to lose anyway? He’s just some guy you’re bound to meet at the bar. It’s not like you didn’t anticipate a scenario like this from happening, right?
“Just take me as someone who isn’t really fond of big parties,” he then cuts you off and finishes your sentence, “But still go anyways.”
“Exactly.”
Gavin pops in for a bit, handing Mathew a bottle of beer he was certain of not ordering. He looks at him puzzled. A silent question that Gavin answered with a wink before getting back to tending to his alcohol induced customers.
Apparently, it’s on the house.
“How come you’re here chatting with me when your friends are all the way there?” You motion towards a curly haired man and the other boys across the room. One was even smiling at you but you just opted on giving him a nod before turning your head back towards Mathew.
“Well, I didn’t like the idea of having you celebrate the New Year’s alone.” He honestly says. But since you were the kind of person who wasn’t the best at taking any type of compliment nor flirty exchanges like a normal person would, you roll your eyes and be the blunt person you were always known for. “Oh. I thought you saw a girl sitting alone at the bar and saw that as an opening.”
To be fair, Mat wasn’t really intimidated by your remark. In fact, he actually liked how straight forward you were with him. You didn’t look at him the way he’s gotten used to whenever he comes up and introduces himself to other girls; something that only made him more interested in you. He can’t help but want to know what exactly is going on in your mind. Not the creepy kind, of course. Just the one where he’d rather spend the New Year’s getting to know a total stranger than getting insanely pissed with the same men he’s spent most of his days with.
“That too.” He admits, taking a sip off his beer without breaking his eyes off you.
There was a sheer silence for a moment. The kind that Mat knew was much deafening than the booming sound of the usual dreadful New Year’s Eve Party. “So tell me,” Mat regains himself, catching your attention once again. “What would you rather be doing tonight? You know, if you hadn’t had to come out here.”
He watches your lips quirk thinking about what it was that you actually wanted to do tonight. Then again, you only had one thing in mind.
“I kinda wanted to spend it alone for the past three years.”
“That long? How come?”
“Well, you know, for some peace and quiet. Maybe watch a movie or two.”
Like what he has been doing since the moment he’d gone to talk to you, he watches you run your fingers around the rim of your cold drink. Evidently immersed in your own thoughts from trying to piece out the real reason behind your grave wanting to spend the occasion alone.
Turning the tables, you ask the same question back, “What about you? I mean, other than getting shit faced, what would you rather be doing?”
Mathew takes a deep breath trying to suppress the longing he’s felt for the past few weeks. He just misses his family so much that he couldn’t help but wonder how they’re doing even if he’s constantly kept in touch with them hours before he’d gone out with the boys.
“I’ll be with my folks. You know, all that usual family stuff.” He answers you shortly.
You didn’t think much of what he’s told you so you just tell him the very thing that crossed your mind. “You know, it’s amazing how two people who didn’t even want to be here find each other just so they could bitch about not wanting to be here a little bit more.”
The two of you share a good laugh, utterly and undeniably enjoying each other’s company. It didn’t feel weird having to talk to a total stranger, let alone let them have bits and pieces of yourself that only enables them to put together an image of you that isn’t even as close to who you really are. Regardless of that notion, there was something about how Mathew connected with you, and how you connected with him.
It was far from being the movie type of thing, but you have to admit, the remainder of the time you two have spent talking over a half empty bottle of beer and a glass of vodka tonic has definitely made the two of you feel this unexplainable wanting of having to learn more about each other. That being said, when all drinks were drunk till its last drop, Mathew couldn’t help himself from wanting to spend a bit more time with you. Maybe, even the whole night if you’d only let him.
“D’you want to get out of here?” He shoots his shot as quickly as he could, afraid that losing even just a second would mean losing a night of spontaneity with you.
You have long waited for a reason to miss the annual party. And if that meant having to wait three years just so you could stumble upon a tall and fairly handsome man that was going to save you from a dreadful evening, nothing would’ve felt as right as this if it weren’t for the push Mat had stored in his piercing eyes and mischievous grin.
You didn’t have to give it much thought. After spending a whole hour exchanging little trivias of yourselves, Mat finally had it easy in making a riveting case. You sigh in defeat as you fish out a few cash from your purse and slide it into your tab.
Excitement now exuding from Mathew, he bobs his brows up and down whilst he watches you roll your eyes once again for the hundredth time tonight. “I’m gonna hate you for this.” You tell him as you get off the bar stool.
Mat hurriedly signals Tito for his coat to which he was able to catch the moment he had tossed it towards his way. He then gets yours that was placed on the back of your seat before finally following you out towards the door.
“I highly doubt that.”
𖥸
Mathew draped your coat over your shoulders, helping you to slip into it. You politely say your thanks and hold your purse close, your gloves gripping onto the leather as the two of you stroll the streets of New York, the winter breeze brushing on your cheeks with every stride you make.
“So,” You begin, putting both of your hands inside your coat pockets. “Where are you taking me, Mat?”
He tries to think for a second. The thought of not having a concrete plan for the night finally dawns on him. He clicks his tongue and breathes in the familiar scent of the city. Mathew looks around the block and spots the good old food truck he and the boys once tried when they were out for an away game with the Rangers.
“How about New York’s finest burrito?” He points to where the truck was parked, clueless to how his sudden movement placed him inches closer to you. You didn’t notice it until you looked at him for his eyes were still pinned to where the truck was at.
Mat’s eyes were pretty. That’s a known fact. But what you didn’t realize was how astonishing they are not until you got this close. You took in the sight sitting before you as fast as you could while he was still preoccupied like a five-year-old kid seeing an ice-cream truck pass by the neighborhood. Your eyes linger from his well structured brows, his unbelievably long lashes, down to the tip of his nose and his rosy cheeks before finally settling down to his cherry plump lips. All of which were more than enough to send butterflies in your stomach.
“O-Okay.” You agree. Mathew takes you by the hand before you can even say a word. Thank the gods for letting you live in a city that seems to never stop the hustle to still have open food trucks good for a quick bite at this time of the night close into New Year’s.
“Hey, bud. Two sixes to go, please.” Mathew says politely once he knocks on the window.
“You’ve got to try this, I swear.” He looks back at you with the same warm smile beaming on his face.
“Unless you want a proper meal? I mean, there’s a diner down the–” You immediately cut him off and take out your purse, offering to pay for it instead. “No! It’s fine, really. I’m a bit hungry myself.”
After spending the whole time waiting for the wrapped snack, arguing on who would be paying, you let Mathew have this one for now even if you didn’t like others paying for what you can pay yourself.
You take a good look at your watch and see that you only have about an hour left till midnight. An idea pops in your head, making you gasp at the thought. Mathew looks at you with a half-eaten burrito in his hand, his brows all furrowed as if to ask a piece of your mind.
“Come on, I know where we should go.”
𖥸
Mathew never thought he’d found himself standing on a rooftop of a random building overlooking the Empire State during one of the coldest times in the city. The things that has only kept him sane was the girl who was still holding his hand, the city lights that have always left him in awe, and of course, the well heated rooftop.
There have been a few exchanges that are quite notable over the time you’ve spent with Mathew. He’s told you about the usual night outs he and the boys have for leisure, the family he had back in Coquitlam, how much he misses his mom and his sister, and how much love he has for hockey that he ended up doing the thing he loved most for a career.
Him, on the one hand, pretty much learned the same stuff about you. Well, almost, for he has yet to ask you the one thing that has been bugging him off all night.
You were telling him how this was your safe haven in the city and how much you loved going here every time you felt like needing to take a deep breath and step back from the world when he asked you a simple question. One that’s absolutely left you surprised (and a little bit impressed) that he still even remembered it at this point.
“What’s the movie about? You know, the one you’ve been wanting to see tonight.” He asks, both of his hands inside his pockets to keep warm.
The two of you sat on the bench facing thousands of lights illuminating the whole city. You look at him for a second, biting your lip as you contest with yourself, the thought of Mat being the kind of douché that would shit around women and their romantic comedy films comes rushing to you like a cold December breeze.
“Alright, why do you want to know?” You pass the ball back to his court. To which Mat shortly answers with a level-headed sigh. “I kinda get the feeling it has something to do with the three-year thing.”
“You’re nosy.” You kiddingly say, earning a chuckle from him.
“You’ve spent the whole night walking with me and I can barely even feel my legs anymore, y/n. Trust me, between you and me, you know you’re the nosy one.” The two of you share a small laugh, your voices are the only sound that can be heard besides the sleepless city acting as a white noise to you and Mathew’s little bubble.
“Fine. And you’re a fucking athlete, so don’t even start.”
You playfully give him a nudge on the shoulder when he starts mimicking what you say. Mat stops immediately and looks at you with the same doe eyes glinting under the security lights that the rooftop had. He then patiently waits for you to gather your thoughts, breathing in all of New York as he lets himself drown in your presence.
You didn’t know how but there was this unspeakable comfort you feel around Mat. Sure, he was just a total stranger you’ve met a few hours ago, but no one, not even the guy who dumped you after your five-date rule, was able to connect with you at the same level as Mathew did.
“It’s not that I want to see it so bad. I’ve watched it for like– a reasonable amount before it became my comfort movie. Plus, it’s literally called The Holiday. Why wouldn’t you want to see it during the holiday?”
You tell him a bit more of how you’ve come into liking it, stalling him from the real reason why you wanted to celebrate the New Year’s alone. But you know, that even after all the circles you’re willing to go through just to keep Mat at bay, you’re bound to lose all your strings and resort to telling him in the end. You just hope you wouldn’t be making the same mistake you’ve made three years ago.
You told Mathew about your on and off childhood sweetheart Claude who has always kept you high and dry throughout the years of being together. (That is if you were in fact together.) He was the constant reminder that you will never be the kind of person someone would want to stick around with.
You and him go a long way. You both ended up going to the same university because he just had to have you around and that he couldn’t afford not being with you even just for a second. He said that he couldn’t take the thought of having to see you only on the holidays so as the dumb kid you once were, your feet followed his everywhere he’d gone.
That cycle went on and on until you finally had the courage to leave everything behind and move to New York. Months as a new kid in the city, you were scared, of course. You spent your days hanging around your apartment, doing all sorts of crap you can even think of just so you wouldn’t have to leave your flat. Although, meeting Emma and Katie was the biggest push you needed to finally let yourself let loose. Long story short, at the first New Year’s Eve Party you’ve ever gone to after moving in the city, the person you least expected to see was the very first one to come out of Gavin's bar. Claude.
Just like what a normal person would do, the two of you sat down and caught up. Pretty much the same thing you’ve gone with Mathew. Although only a lot less chit chat and a lot more kissing.
Claude told you his real intentions. He said that he wanted to start something with you for real. Of course, you had let him but you have made the biggest mistake of telling him about your five-date rule.
Lo and behold, Claude did stick around for the fifth date. That being said, he had stayed only for the fifth date. You saw him sneaking out of your flat so early in the morning, leaving you nothing but a voicemail that said his foolish reasons and insincere apologies. Since then, after a lot of major hook ups here and there, you’ve never let yourself become as vulnerable and stupid as you once were with the biggest douche you’ve ever met.
“It’s crazy, I know. You can laugh about it.” You say when Mat hasn’t spoken for a few seconds.
He takes a glance at you, a tight smile on his face. “I don’t think it’s crazy. That man is crazy. And also, a big prick. Classic dick move.” He tells you before he turns his eyes back to the city.
“Well, yeah. That’s me. That’s the holiday story.”
“A crappy one, of course.” You add.
Mat shakes his head no. He didn’t know why exactly but all he wanted to do at that moment, a few seconds before New Year’s, was to give you something,– even just a memory you could look back on. That that story isn’t going to be the one you’d be remembering for the next holidays. He wanted his to be something that’ll make your three-year-old crappy story long gone and forgotten. That his version would be the one that’s stuck.
“Definitely not this one.”
As the clock strikes twelve, cheers erupted throughout New York along with fireworks shooting into the city’s midnight sky. The first thing you see upon looking back were the same kind eyes of the man whom you have randomly met at the party you dreaded most. Only this time, drowning you little by little as it becomes iridescent under the thousands of lights covering New York City.
You were frozen to your seat as Mat’s face inch closer to yours. You feel his breath against your cold skin as if it was lulling you to sleep. His hands find its way to your face, cupping both of your cheeks rather gently as he finally paints a new memory you’d be carrying for the rest of your holidays.
“Happy New Year.” He greets you, almost like a faint whisper whilst the two of you gasp for breath. You blink a few times just to process what had just happened and digest how unbelievably good that kiss was.
Mathew’s hands were still on your cheeks. You held them close so he’d know you weren’t ready to let go. You take a deep breath, gathering enough courage to ask him an unusual way of greeting someone a Happy New Year.
“Will you walk me to my car?”
𖥸
You have both of your hands tucked inside your coat pockets as you walked the street leading to where you left your car. Mat was just telling you about the game happening next Thursday against the Bruins and how it would mean a lot to him if you’d come and see him play.
“To be fair, the Bruins are good.” You commented, a playful smirk plastered on your face rather teasingly.
Mathew lets out a snort as he rolls his eyes, chuckling at the thought of you dissing on his team the moment you had the chance. “Hey, both teams are good.”
“It’s just the matter of who’s better.” You finish his sentence, yet again working your way with a clever remark. Mat hums, not necessarily agreeing with your sentiment.
“So will you come?” He asks again just so he could hear you say yes. You take a deep breath, not letting yourself think too much of the said invitation. If you’re going, you’re going as a friend. Actually, you weren’t even sure if you could even call yourself such a label.
You nod your head yes to which had become the reason of Mathew’s glee. The two of you walked side by side in peace, basking in the comfort of each other’s presence.
Once the rush of excitement about you coming to one of his games starts to wear down, Mathew begins to feel the weight of walking befall on him as it grows quicker with each step he takes. With his brows meeting halfway, he looks at you, eyes evident with confusion.
“Where did you park your car exactly? I feel like we’re walking straight to Long Island.” He chortles, scratching his temple quite adorably.
You bit your lower lip as you looked up at him. Mathew’s physique towering over yours. “I uh– I took a cab to the party. My car’s actually parked outside my apartment.” You admit with a shy laugh.
Mat’s mouth went agape upon hearing you confess; awkward silence envelops the two of you with every second spent not talking to one another. Not long after, he decides to break the ice, undeniably impressed at how he’d never seen it coming.
Clever. He thinks, incapable of stopping his gut from swirling. His smile widens when he sees you looking at him; unfazed and perhaps, enamoured.
𖥸
Mat did walk you to your car. The two of you exchange your thank you’s; utterly grateful for what has to be the best New Year’s you had in years.
You wanted to ask him for one last cup of coffee because the last thing you wanted him to do was leave. But after all the things you’ve gone through with the man within such a short amount of time (and frankly, even a tedious walk) you still failed to muster enough courage to stop him from doing so.
Once you see him get in the lone cab that miraculously passed by your neighborhood at such an ungodly hour, you close the door behind and head straight to your flat.
You get home to the sight of your weighted blanket spread over your couch along with a couple of pillows that seems to be the best place to bury yourself in after a tiresome night out. Things were just as they were left hours ago; prepped for a much awaited movie night. As planned, you quickly get out of your winter clothes, head for a quick shower, before finally slipping into some comfortable nightwear.
You were just finishing up putting the bowl of popcorn and a bottle of Chardonnay on top of the coffee table when a buzz coming from the intercom catches your attention.
Once your hands were free, you quickly made your way towards the box, a bit irked at the thought of Katie and Emma ruining your long-overdue New Year agenda upon remembering how she’d told you to let her in the building just in case Katie gets a little too overboard.
“Emma, I’m about to watch Jude Fucking Law. Just come up!” You hurriedly say, turning your head back to the screen which already had the movie on pause.
However, instead of Katie’s whiny and drunken voice, what you heard was the same familiar chuckle that had been cruising your mind all night.
“You know, I don’t think I mentioned that I haven’t watched The Holiday. Is Jude Fucking Law any good?” He asks. A mental image of how his eyes crinkle when he laughs comes to mind upon hearing his voice.
Once again, pretty much like how you’ve spent the whole evening with Mathew, a wide smile lets loose as you press the black button. “Come on up.”
#mat barzal#mat barzal imagine#nhl imagine#hockey imagine#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal fanfiction#mat barzal fic#letters to barzy#barzzal imagines
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🤚The Second Worst (Pt. 1/?)🤚
Part 2 of my Shigaraki Thesis Headcanons.
HC's // The Second Worst: 1 - 2
The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck. -- AKA here's when I gave up on bullet points and went off the fuckin rails
I'm self-conscious about writing so much, so uhhhh, please be kind, hahaaa. This is rather long and involved. Are these still even HCs or just a self-indulgent AU outline? There are some mysteries we may never solve.
This is on AO3 now, if you prefer reading there.
Anyway. Minors do not interact.
- - - - -
You met Tenko before the League existed.
Believe it or not, there are a million ways it might have happened, but in the end: you were both bargain-binning in Akihabara.
You reached for a copy of a collectible bullet-hell cute-'em-up (near-mint! CIB!!!) and accidentally bonked hands with a complete stranger. He flinched about five million feet away from you. Ouch. You're just a nobody, quirkless and average, but you didn't think you were THAT repulsive.
(You're not. Hell, even if you were, this guy couldn't care less. He barely registers that you have a face.)
(Shigaraki is accustomed to getting in and out of this shop in seconds. He always comes in before anyone else and goes straight home. -- Is that really home? Is 'home' a real place? -- ANYWAY he's already pirated this shit, god, why does he even care? He doesn't need to be here. Father doesn't like it. Is that why he's here? Just to do something Father doesn't like? That's pathetic.)
He's had at least ten complete internal arguments with himself before he so much as looks at you.
You know in the tenth of a second he actually meets your eyes... this fucker is going to fight you to the death over this game.
- - -
The death match ends in a draw. He was not expecting you to know the first fucking thing about this game. Nobody knows about it, even in Japan. Who the fuck do you even think you are? Oh, no, he's still taking it. But... maybe he can show you how to play it it. He'll give you a little taste, just to make you jealous.
He's got his hoodie pulled down like he's going to commit an act of terrorism. What little you can see of his face looks twitchy and messed up. If you have any survival instincts at all, they're kicking in right about now.
But... why not. You're not going anywhere with this dude unsupervised, so you suggest a crowded web cafe down the street. The cafe has the necessary console... but the retro gaming booth is laughably small. The TV is about four inches across and you end up having to practically sit in his lap.
You were sure this guy was a nasty fucking creep, but he's................ only mostly terrible. Way too angry, for sure. Has no idea how to have a normal, friendly conversation. Inadvertently insults you every other sentence and seems to have a deep-seated persecution complex.
You'd prefer to be mad about the awful company, but... he's obviously deprived of human contact. When it's established that you two share a lot of media fixations, he calms down and starts treating you a little more like a human being. Or at least like a fellow elite.
Wherever he came from, he doesn't seem to want to go back. He keeps pushing you to play one more level, pretending he wants to beat your score. You feel kinda bad for him.
You get the distinct feeling that his life is a disaster. He looks like he's never had a full night of sleep in his life. He trips your trigger hairs in that 'is he gonna follow me home?' kind of way, but... up close, he's a lot more depressing than scary.
At the very least, you want to buy him a stupidly cute dessert. Just... as thanks. For letting you try out the game and stuff. It's not a big deal, so just pick a flavor, okay? The world isn't actually that awful, y'know.
It's not even that impressive... Definitely not a great cafe. But he takes practically a full hour to eat a single slice of strawberry cake.
When the hoodie comes down. He's all shriveled and dried out, like someone left him him in the desert to die. He chews on his peeling bottom lip and nervously scratches his neck. He doesn't thank you for the cake. Which is fine. It's not a big deal. Actually, you wish he would eat faster; you feel weirdly responsible for him now.
Under all that mess he's... gorgeous? His hair is stunning: a bright, gleaming silver that catches the light. His bone structure is flawless. If it weren't for all the scars and the misanthropic slouch, he'd look like a fairy fucking prince.
You were not prepared for that. In another life he could have been a model, the type of guy who would never even look at you. But something bad happened to him. Something... very bad. Do you even want to know? You have no idea how to ask.
Has anyone ever been nice to him? It doesn't seem like it. Should YOU be nice to him? You sort of want to try.
- - -
This becomes a regular thing. This weird little secret. You should probably tell someone when you see him, just in case you don't come back one day, but you say nothing; how the hell would you explain why you want to see him so bad?
You don't know his full name. Maybe he's on a watch list. When he gives you a long string of random numbers so you can schedule meet-ups (is THAT his e-mail, really?) he tells you to just... call him Tenko. Or whatever. It doesn't matter.
(He sneaks out when Father is deep in his plots. As long as he comes home on time, it doesn't really matter where he goes, right?)
He brings a different game every time. He has an insane collection. Where does he get the money for all this? You know he doesn't work. God, is it drugs? It's probably drugs. Wherever these hidden gems came from, he proudly shows them off to you, like he's never had an audience before. It's sort of cringe-inducing, the way he one-ups and rubs every little victory in your face, desperate for attention.
But at the same time, you are becoming too... something...to mind.
Do you... like him? He's not funny, but he thinks you are. His mouth is huge when he laughs. He seems to hate everyone but you, and you've had to earn the distinction of being merely tolerable. Still, he gets really excited about random shit like the garage kit black market and haunted dolls and the price of weed on the dark web.
And... strawberry cake.
The realization hits you both at the same time when the waitress brings one piece with two forks.
God, what the fuck, are you... are you dating?
Quick, think.
You look forward to seeing him, and don't even mind sitting close to him anymore. Sometimes you push your leg up against him just to see if he'll still flinch away... and he doesn't.
You jealously notice the way he touches everything but you: with delicate precision, one finger at a time. His large, elegant hands always have a pinky up like he's aspiring for a fiefdom, and you wonder what his skin feels like.
You go home and dwell on the way he plucks flowering weeds out of the pavement in front of the cafe. The way he stands rooted to the spot as you leave, just... looking at nothing, unsmiling.
You watch his lips too much, and not just because you want to buy him chapstick.
You catch him gaping at you all the time. You thought he was just creepy like that, but maybe...
Yeah. I guess you are dating him. Shit.
- - -
Okay, so, yeah. Bringing him back to your place was definitely a bad idea. You know you shouldn't trust him, even if he is... apparently... your boyfriend? Sort of? You still don't have his phone number.
So. Um. What now?
You order overpriced pizza and queue up a campy horror movie. What the fuck are you even doing. You don't really think he's going to murder you anymore, but... still. Is the suburban massacre scene gonna give him ideas?
Turns out, no. He doesn't like gore, even when the blood is neon pink. He gets upset. Like, really upset. Shaky and green, like he might puke on you. He can't stop scratching that scaly spot on his neck.
Tenko, are you crying?
Fucking hell, did you just trigger him? Of course he has a traumatic past, it's carved all over his face. You're so fucking stupid. You don't know how to make it right. You want to hug him, kiss him... anything. But he's never really touched you, and you're too afraid to push now.
It ruins the whole night. He leaves without explaining anything. Doesn't even say goodbye. He just. Leaves.
Maybe you'll never see him again. Maybe that's for the best.
Your chest hurts.
- - -
He shows up at your door a few weeks later. You haven't heard from him since that disastrous movie night. You had pretty much accepted that you'd broken up with a boyfriend you never actually had.
But no. Apparently not.
This time, he’s brought his own entertainment. He's holding a boxed set of some show you're not familiar with. You're distracted by these weird little half-gloves he's wearing, like a cyberpunk hacker. That's a new look, and even if it's a bit edgelord adjacent, he makes it look cool. You tell him as much. It's the first time you've let on how attractive you find him. He's wearing a tight black shirt with a deep, deep V-neck. That's distracting too.
He clears his slender throat and doesn't look at you.
You try to apologize for before, but he's acting like it never happened. What are you even talking about? Have you seen this OVA or not? Get out of the way and let him in already.
You've watched three episodes now, but you still have no idea what this stupid anime is about. You can't pay attention to a single frame. All you can think about is how his arm has crept up behind your shoulders.
A few inches more and he'll be holding you. Does he... want to hold you?
You lean toward him so slowly your spine creaks. One molecule at a time. After a thousand years, your head slides nervously under his chin. His arm comes down, locking you in, fingers clutching your sleeve in a death grip. Even that snobby little pinky. His head tucks down into you hair.
A sharp collarbone bites into your cheek. His heartbeat is hard, fast, and irregular. There's not a scrap of fat on him, and as you wrap your arm around his stomach, you think you see a twitch in his pants. Is that just you being desperate? Or... hopeful?
This is really happening.
---
Soon, you learn that Tenko is a clumsy kisser. It doesn't matter; the fact that he's kissing you at all is good enough for now. His lips are dry, but not half as dry as you expected. There's a slick of menthol helping things along; he's been using something medicated on his lips. Plus, his mouth tastes like he drank a gallon of mouthwash.
All this thrills you more than a little, because it means he came here wanting to impress you. Wanting you. Full stop.
Underneath that minty sting is a strange, worrisome aftertaste, like something rotten. Your brain fires off an alarm. Stop kissing him. Right now. This thing will make you sick.
But his hands nervously slide over your body... and you decide not to worry about it. Instead, you kiss him deeper. He makes a sweet, startled little noise. Your brain is a fucking liar.
It occurs to you he's probably never done this before.
When you lace your fingers in his and try to pull one of his gloves off, he rips his hand away.
Don't. That’s the only explanation he gives.
No need to ask if it's a quirk thing or a trauma thing. Judging by how jittery he gets, it's probably both. You remember the way his hands almost float over objects without ever holding them. Maybe his touch is dangerous. Maybe that's why his face looks like that.
Maybe you should learn more about him before things go way too far...
No. It can't be that bad. Now that he's in your arms, everything frightening about him evaporates. He's vulnerable. He's alone. He's shaking a little. Has anyone else ever seen this side of him? You want to keep him all to yourself, just like this.
So what if he has to touch you with gloves on? You've heard of worse quirk-related inconveniences.
It's okay, Tenko. Do you want to keep going?
You put his hands back on you and wait for him to kiss you again. It doesn't take long.
---
You open his pants. He's long and thin, calloused even here. Every part of him feels untouched, unloved. You hold him tight and squeeze.
It doesn't seem to occur to him to please you in return. He looks afraid. Confused. You're sure you scared him earlier with the glove thing. Is this too much? No. He gasps and leans into you. The tiniest, broken please.
He cums in your hand right away, face buried in your shoulder, his eyes wet and hidden.
I have to go, he says. Over and over and over.
It's okay, Tenko.
You know he doesn't want to.
- - - - -
(oops I wrote more)
#Shigaraki#Shigaraki Tomura#Shimura Tenko#Shigaraki x reader#Shigaraki x you#Shigaraki x y/n#gender neutral reader#shigaraki headcanons#mha#bnha#fred writes
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self-indulgent homest/uck snzfic
omg i literally entirely forgot i wrote a snzfic already a bit ago... its so self indulgent and messy writing wise and also homest/uck but uploading just in case
okok short debrief for context, karkat is a troll, dave is a human that can fly long story, matesprit is romantic partner, and trickster mode is a mode where ppl get drunk/high off a specific lolipop and have little to no restraint of themselves + gives them bright colors
// mess, intentional contagion
“h-hehh…eH’tchIUh!!!”
Karkat paused from reading his book. That... was a sound that sounded suspiciously like Dave sneezing. Hesistantly, he pushed himself up, walking out of his room and peering into Dave’s room. After all, he had no idea if the pitiful human was sick or not. What kind of matesprit would he be if he didn’t even check?
Dave’s room was empty. Which was odd. Karkat could’ve sworn he said he was going to be in there for the day, though he didn’t explain why, where the fuck did he head off to? It’s not like their joint house was big or anything. Where the hell was that nookwhi-
Something that sounded… almost like giggling rang through the air.
What the fuck.
It sounded like it came from behind Karkat, and he quickly whirled around, but not fast enough. He saw something that almost looked like a flash, a flash of bright colors and cheery pastels, before it vanished in the blink of the ganderbulbs. Like said before, what the fuck.
A sniffle. Alright, thats too much.
Karkat whirled around, shouting “Dave, what the FUCK is going on??”, not really caring for his dignity much in the moment. It had to be Dave. This was a prank or some bullshit. And then slowly, following the noise, his eyes trailed up. Up….up…up….
Dave Strider was currently floating in the air, dreamily staring down at him and just barely grazing the surface of the ceiling, adorned with mint-green hair, a pastel pink-and-yellow god tier outfit, and red, thick gunk dripping steadily out of his flushed nose as he grinned at him. Holy fucking shit, who the fuck was this and what had they done to Dave?
A vague memory registered in the back of Karkat’s mind, of Dirk mentioning how some candy made everyone insane and go Trickster mode as their outfits and demeanor became more…colorful. How the fuck did Dave go Trickster mode??? How the fuck does that work???
“hey karkles hows it hangin? cmon dudeee lighten up a lil, your expression is s-so… hiH’TCHUh! so shocked right now” Dave drawled. As he sneezed, he lazily spread his hand over his nose, catching half of the snot in it and letting the rest of the bright red concocture mist the floor beneath him, which included Karkat. Karkat could feel the wet moisture on his skin, and he shuddered, stepping back.
“Dave, what the fuck??? Gog, fucking cover your mouth, are you contagious?? Get down, now.” Karkat spat out, exasperated at how nonchalant the imposter was. Dave simply laughed at him. “me? contagious? nah im fineeee”
Dave sniffled again, the sound much more wet than previously, and rubbed his fist against his nose, smearing the red gunk all over his hand. He smirked as he slowly withdrew his hand, spreading his fingers experimentally and watching the red mucus web between his slender fingers, glistening. “totally not contagious at all” he fibbed.
Karkat could only watch in horror as Dave slowly flew down, feet clicking against the tiled floor. “hey karkitty i do-hihh…n’t k-know about you…” His expression screwed up for a second, as he fought to calm his hitching breaths. After a moment, Dave’s grin returned to his face, and with a face smeared with germ-laden gunk, he purred. “but i feel like making out right now.”
Karkat found his voice again, and he stumbled back a few more steps. “Holy shit, no- are you even *hearing* yourself, Dave??? You’re sick, you can’t-you can’t just pretend you’re not, what the fuck??? Dave, I-“
Dave leaned forward and nipped at Karkat’s neck and he whimpered.
He could feel it. The wet mess dripping onto his neck, as Dave gave a shallow sniff and as his breath hitched even more, the vibrations against his skin, Dave’s saliva intermingling with the rest of the shit getting onto his neck as he sucked gently and gave him a hickey. The sensation was so taboo and revolting it was almost…
Dave leaned back, expression contorted. His narrow eyes seemed to almost stare through Karkat, and he paused, before, oh, fuck, it sunk in. “g-ghh- gonna…sn-heHh..eeze!-“ he forced out, and even as he was about to fucking sneeze, he still managed a wavering smirk as he tried to stare down at Karkat. It didn’t even look like he was trying to pull away, if anything, he had leaned forward, leaving only a few inches between them as he used his finger to gently guide Karkat’s chin up.
Speaking of which, Karkat felt himself frozen in place, too shocked by how quickly everything had just happened to dodge the incoming flood. “heh-HE’tchIU! hihh..hih..h’tsHIU!!” The lazy covering that Dave had done before wasn’t even present. Dave sneezed freely and openly on Karkat, and Karkat instinctively shut his eyes, feeling the contagious mist against his skin. Dave wasn’t done yet, though.
Karkat could only open his eyes for a second, seeing a strand of snot dangling from Dave’s nose as he leaned his head back, right before Dave went back to sneezing. “EH’tchu! Hi’hishuu!! Ehtchuu! hih..ih-HISSHU!!” Sneeze after sneeze, rapidfire. Fuck, it was disgusting, but Karkat’s face felt soaked, totally fucking decimated after Dave’s sneezing fit that he didn’t even bother covering. Was this his plan? What the fuck??? Realizing that he hasn’t breathed at all during all that, Karkat let in a shaky breath, and then immediately regretted it as it set in that he probably just breathed in more of the shit.
Shuddering, he quickly wiped off his face, cringing as he saw the red fluid coating his sleeve. Holy shit, how much even was that? “D-Dave, what the fuck-“ Karkat started, but Dave cut him off with a smile. “dont worry im not contagious karkitty. now about the makeouts…” Dave reached up to cup his cheek and run his thumb against Karkat’s lip, and Karkat went pale as he remembered the web of wet gunk between his fingers. Oh goddamnit, he had just wiped his face.
Deep down, he knew wiping his face did nothing.
“We know that’s fucking bullshit. Are you trying to get me sick?!? I-I’m not going to make-out with you, not when- ah-“ Karkat started, and then Dave shut him up by licking a stripe up the hickey he had given him earlier.
Dave let his red eyes fall upon Karkat’s. His red nose dripping, glistening, eyes narrowed, mouth curled up like a cheshire cat, he leaned forward and whispered in Karkat’s ear, the congestion in his voice evident “karkat. lets entertain the thought i am contagious, ok?” Karkat shivered, but this time in an entirely different context.
“its too late for you. from the first sneeze, from the moment i got this cold, you were doomed. even if you tried to leave” He giggled, deliriously. “i already sneezed into your pillows, to let these theoretical germs have home there too. sharing is caring, right? and you’re going to get this cold…hih…” Karkat stared, dumbfounded. Dave leaned back from his ear, and placed a finger gently on Karkat’s nose, tracing the edges. “i-in here.”
a pause, and then a grin.
“so-hiHh- s-so why try to…t-to avoid…ihh…hiH’TSHIUU!! eh’tsHIU!!” Dave’s head snapped forward. His sneezes were getting more wet, and mucus sprayed onto his face, leaving wet stains on his sweatshirt. Karkat couldn’t even process what was going on any more. And then, Dave gently leaned forward, stopping just before his lips. “just enjoy it.” The taboo of it all… the seductive gleam in Dave’s eyes…Dave’s erection pressing against his leg… the most obvious fact that Dave was into this (and that they probably had to had a talk later, jesus, openess about kinks was important)…God, it was too much.
Karkat’s may or may not have leaned forward to meet his lips.
And well, if Karkat let Dave shove his tongue into his mouth, if he let Dave sniffle and sneeze onto him, damning him and most definitely ensuring he’d be just as snotty and disgusting as him later, if he did, well, nobody had to know.
#snzfic#snez#snz#sneeze kink#sickstuck#sneezestuck#peachywrites#god ok rereading this was a trip lemme tell u#mess#contagion
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Victims
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings:Fluff,mention of trauma,rape(not by Bucky), torture. (No mention of rape in this chapter but will be in future ones)
Description: You discover you may have misjudged Bucky.
This is my first Chapter of an idea I’ve been wanting to play out for a while now. More to come very soon.
Chapter 1: Sleep
Bucky didn’t talk much.
Especially not to you. “He wasn’t always like this.” Steve had said to you once in passing, his keen senses picking up on just how tense your shoulders got whenever Bucky had blatantly ignored you. Good old Steve, not a bad word to say about anyone. You tried to brush it off, but you really hated being ignored. It made you feel like a pathetic, over excited puppy dog nipping at everyones heels for attention. You were loud, and blunt, and very aware of how much social space you took up when you engaged in conversation. You had no doubt it was annoying. Many times you tried to curb your hyper behavior, but that was exhausting, and eventually you had to come to the conclusion that that was just you. You were who you were, and everyone-save Bucky-adored you. That was on him, you couldn’t change how he felt.
You weren’t quite sure how to approach Barnes, having only ever known him as The Asset before you all came to the compound. The first time you met, he’d lifted you off the ground with a metal hand to your throat. He would have snapped your neck if Steve hadn’t gotten him off of you. You really hated that, too. You wanted so desperately not to need saving, ever. You were strong, but you were no Super Soldier, and the overly competitive parts of you reeled against that with everything they had. You did not need to be saved. Not by Steve or anyone.
You weren’t the only one on the team without powers. You learned from shared experience it didn’t make you any less essential. Just hurt like a son of a bitch sometimes. Like Bucky, you had been taken by Hydra against your will. Unlike Bucky-you hadn’t been brainwashed. Just tortured. No matter how hard they pushed, no matter how many times you had been left bruised and bleeding on the icy concrete floor you never lost sight of what was right. When Hydra’s infiltration of Shield was out in the open, and they released the Winter Soldier into the world again you felt like it was the moment you had been waiting for. Suddenly everything they had taught you about weapons and hand to hand became a brutal mistake on their part. When Nick Fury learned about the things you had done, what you knew, seen you in action, he made sure you and Steve Rogers got acquainted. After that, you never had to look for a job a day in your life. Now you were here.
It wasn’t yet light out when you headed down the stairs, dressed in a black running gear from head to toe, all the way down to your shoes that were propped against the wall in waiting. Your socks were actually the only colorful thing you had on, red white and blue donning the captain America shield, an ongoing joke between you and Steve.
You were always up before anyone else, craving the silence and peace you felt in the early morning, beginning your usual run just as the sun crested the hilltops. Your workout regimen was insanely strict, you beat yourself up whenever you ran late, often feeling guilty about it the rest of the day. Absentmindedly, you bobbed your head to the song playing in your headphones, doing your best to keep relatively quiet as you mixed up your pre-workout in a shaker bottle. You spun to set it on the counter beside you, jumping when you noticed the outline of a figure sitting across from you.
“Jesus,” you said more to yourself than to him, lowering your headphones to around the base of your neck. You popped the cap of your bottle and rolling your shoulders. Taking your first sip of caffeine, you held his stare.
“You scared me, man.”
Bucky said nothing, though his eyes widened slightly- the only indication that he had heard you at all. He sat straight and rigid behind the marble countertop, but he looked…softer somehow. His lips parted slightly, exhaling a short breath, then pressed together gently. His grey henley was wrinkled and disheveled, his hands laid flat on his thighs, as though he was awaiting his next order.
“Are you going for a run?” He asked in such a tender tone that you blinked twice before you processed that it was even him speaking. You weren’t even aware that he knew you ran. You weren’t even aware he knew you existed half the time.
“Uh-yeah.” You responded cautiously, swirling the contents of your bottle to incorporate the undissolved powder at the bottom. Bucky gave a small nod, greasy strands of dark hair falling into his eyes as he did so. Dark circles plagued in under-eyes, while the glass blue of his irises looked dull and worn. He looked rough, even for him. You always thought he was the best looking one here, but it’s a little hard to appreciate someones looks when all they ever do is disregard you. Now that you got a really good look at him, even with the obvious sleep deprivation, you could see just how handsome he really was.
“You go every day?” The Soldier’s next question pulled you from your drifting thoughts and you had a question of your own; why did he care? The longest conversation you had ever had with this man was the time he asked you to pass the A1 and that was a month ago.
“Six days a week,” you started, with caffeine running through your brain you were unable to keep yourself from over-explaining.
“Wednesdays are my rest days, It’s the only day I get to sleep in but I usually don’t. I hate taking rest days, but it’s better for your body if you do.”
You finished your drink and set the bottle in the sink for now, you would wash it later. You were ready to abandon this weird fucking conversation. Sliding your headphones back over your ears, you pulled out your phone and started to search for a song to run to when you glanced up and noticed the look on his face. You hadn’t been through anything close to what he had, but you knew a thing or two about trauma. You definitely knew that look from all the times you’d seen it in your reflection.
You paused your music and took the headphones down again, setting them on the counter this time.
“Are you okay?” You asked, pressing your hips against the ledge, leaning your palms on the counter, ready to listen. The sincerity of your voice threw him off. He was so used to being on the outside looking in, watching you make your sarcastic quips to everyone, chuckling to himself when no one was looking. He was always blown away by just how clever you were, and how quick your mind worked. He didn’t think he could keep up in a conversation with you in a million years. It wasn’t often Sargent Barnes was intimidated. You were fiery, and tough, funny as hell-and you didn’t take shit from anyone.
Bucky had heard from Steve that you had a big heart, but he had never seen the softer side of you.
His eyes were shiny when he looked up at you, his voice echoed with defeat.
“I don’t know how I got here.” He said quietly.
“I don’t want to move. I-“ His voice choked a little.
“I don’t know where I’m supposed to be.”
You felt your heart squeeze in your chest. God, what this poor man had endured. He had been told where to go, what to do, what to say- for years he had been controlled. Now he was free, and he was confused, scared. Hydra was no walk in the park, but you get used to the routine of torment and control. You knew better than anyone what that was like.
“How long have you been down here?” You asked. He was still, then he responded.
“A few hours, I think.” He didn’t look at the clock, just stared straight ahead. He must have gotten up in the middle of the night from a bad dream.
You sucked in a small breath through your teeth, then exhaled, letting the tension release from between your shoulder blades.
“Okay,” You said quietly, setting your phone down and rounding the side of the counter. Your run could wait a little while.
“Okay. That’s okay. Do you want me to help you back to you room?” Bucky shook his head.
“I think I broke a mirror. Glass everywhere.” You nodded, making a mental note to clean it up when you got back.
Bucky’s breath hitched slightly, increasing in rhythm. “I don’t know where I’m supposed to be.” He repeated, and you slid your hand toward him on the counter, leaning on your elbow so you were face level with him.
“Hey,” Your voice was soft, calm, even. It encouraged him to stay the same by your example.
“It’s alright, I’m going to help you.”
You had your mission now, heading back to the kitchen you put the tea kettle on, then opened the freezer, taking out the frozen eye mask Tony sometimes used for hangovers. You dug into the cabinet taking out two peppermint tea bags from your hidden stash, dropping one in the nearest mug, and tucking one in your sweatshirt pocket.
You were beside him again, moving the ice pack toward his forehead. Bucky jerked backward with a quick inhale, and you drew your arm inward. You remembered his mask. “I’m just going to put it on your forehead.” You murmured. Bucky’s bottom lip quivered. “Don’t put that on me, please.” Your fingers curled, and you nodded in understanding.
“Okay, okay, one sec.” You jogged back into the kitchen and traded the ice pack for two large chunks of ice.
“Let’s try this instead.”
Bucky watched you carefully, your well muscled legs flexing as you busied yourself in the kitchen. He had been distantly aware that you were in good shape, but your normal black cargo pants must have hid a lot from view, because now that he was seeing you in the leggings you wore to run-he couldn’t stop looking. God damn, you really took care of yourself. His eyes snapped back up when you turned around again. You were careful to switch the stove off before the kettle wailed, pouring hot water into the mug and sliding it in font of him. Steam swirled from the cup and the soldier caught a whiff of mint.
You were in front of him again, conscious not to make too many sudden movements. “Turn toward me.” You instructed, and he followed orders, allowing you to stand between his legs as you soothed a cube of ice over each of his temples. His eyes fluttered slightly, the frozen temperature sent a shock of relief down his spine. He couldn’t hold back the pained groan as it erupted from his chest when you moved your fingers in slow circles, applying just the right amount of pressure.
“Y’know,” You began. “Before I was here, before any of this, I worked at a mental facility for at-risk teenagers.”
Bucky’s brow knit. He had always assumed that with your skills with firearms and combat that you had always been in some sort of covert ops position. He was realizing just how little he knew about you. Steve talked about you sometimes, but his jaw had always been real tight when it came to your past. “Drugs, alcohol, suicide, abuse-I hated it, it was too hard on me mentally-but I learned a lot. Most importantly, I learned that when you press something cold to your temple or forehead, it sends a shock to your neurotransmitters. Basically telling your system that you’re in pain, countering panic by releasing chemicals into the body that slow down the release of cortisol and adrenaline.”
The dark haired man soaked in every word you said . He knew you talked a lot, but you’d never talked this much to him before, and he was eating it up. Bucky had always like the sound of your voice. He didn’t even mind the melting water running down his neck, soaking into the collar of his shirt.
“You can also bite down on a lemon wedge. ” You offered, taking the cubes of ice away and tossing them into the sink. You pulled your sweatshirt sleeve over the heel of your hand and dabbed the water away, he leaned into your touch this time.
“Or smell strong peppermint.” You said, gently lifting his metal arm by the wrist and snatching the packet of tea from your pocket, dropping it in his shiny palm.
“It’s called grounding.” You stated, motioning for him to try.
Hesitantly, the soldier brought his hand to his nose, inhaling deeply. He looked back at you with one grateful nod. It helped. You pointed curtly to the cabinet by the fridge.
“I always keep a box of tea in there, it’s shoved way in the back because someone keeps taking it, probably Sam, but you’re welcome to as much as you’d like.” You slid the now perfect temperature tea into his free hand.
“Drink it, It always helps calm me down.”
Bucky took two greedy gulps, downing about half it’s contents in one go and making you giggle. It made his eyelids heavy.
“C’mon, Sergeant Barnes.” You coaxed, beckoning him to follow you into the other room. When he stood, you had to take a step back. You weren’t exactly the shortest person, but even so, had always worn tactical boots around him and they added a couple inches to your height. With you just in socks, you realized how much he towered over your five foot seven stature. It both scared and excited you. You edged a foot backward, circling it behind yourself and swaying your weight on it as if you were ready for him to take a swing at you. He eyed your stance momentarily before you broke and softened again, shaking out fists you hadn’t even realized you’d clenched. You didn’t trust him yet.
Wordlessly, you led him to the couch. His footsteps behind you were lighter than you thought they would be, but of course he had both stealth and brute force on his side. That sent a tingle down your stomach that you chose to ignore.
“Lay down.” You said as you dragged the coffee table closer to the couch. Bucky did as he was told, his burned out mind thankful to have some sort of direction. His eyes were half lidded and languorous, the long forgotten feeling of sleep pulling at the edges of his bruised psyche. His eyes tracked your every move. His stare somewhat lazy with fatigue, but right on target like the skilled sniper you’d seen in action so many times.
“Try to get some sleep.” Your voice was still soft, but brimmed with anticipation for your upcoming workout. Bucky felt a sudden pang of guilt for keeping you back an extra half hour. He glanced over his shoulder at the window, seeing through the gap in the shades that the sun was already up.
“I’ll check in with you when I get back.” You added, taking a large cashmere blanket from the nearby armchair and draping it over him. He hadn’t been tucked into bed in over 70 years.
You scampered back to the kitchen to retrieve his mug, but when you set it down on the table and looked at his face, he was already asleep.
“Sleep well, Sergeant.” You said quietly.
Bucky’s eyes were open the minute you turned your back, watching as you pulled your shoes on and jogged out the door. He craned his neck so he could watch you take off down the neatly paved road.
It was only when you were completely out of sight that he finally let himself fall asleep.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#marvel#avengers#sebastian stan#Bucky barnes romance#Bucky#bucky barnes angst#the winter solider x reader
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fic: something to hang on to
When Jamie buys a camera, she isn’t really thinking about it. They’re driving through Virginia, stopped off at a little gas station; Dani’s outside filling the rental Jeep, which puts Jamie on snack-duty. At the counter, she spots a display of disposable cameras and, almost without thinking, adds one to the pile of sugar and caffeine. It isn’t a plan. Isn’t for any particular reason.
Dani, pawing through the plastic bag of their spoils, raises it from a mess of M&Ms and Pringles and says, “You like photography?” She asks it the way she asks everything, like every little detail she learns about Jamie is another brand-new color added to the shine of the world. Jamie shrugs.
“Never was much for it, but this brave new land is pretty enough. Don’t mind keeping track of it for later.”
It’s more than that, she thinks as Dani raises the viewfinder to her eye and clicks a photo of Jamie behind the wheel, one hand steering, the other stretching across the center console to rest on Dani’s knee. I almost lost you once, Poppins. Wouldn’t have had anything but my own memory to remember you by. This...this will help.
Later, much later, years later, Jamie will look back on that moment as one of her wisest. Later, on a bed she can no longer sleep in, holding a thick album between shaking hands, she’ll think some of the most important choices you ever make are split-second recklessness. A camera, tossed in at the last second. A habit, built on nothing more than needing Dani’s smile immortalized.
Open the album. Take a breath. Flip the page.
***
A photo: Dani sprawled on a red-and-white beach towel, chin propped on folded arms, gazing out away from the camera as though she has no idea anyone is watching.
They’re with Henry and the kids--the first time they’ve seen the Wingrave family since the events at the house, and, though they don’t know it, one of the last times they’ll see them all together--in Florida. It’s strange, Jamie reflects, watching Miles chase Flora across an endless strip of sand. Strange how much world can fit into one country. England was green, rolling with hill and fog and haunted by things older than any of them can imagine. Florida feels...young, somehow. Too warm, too bright, too perfect on a Saturday afternoon.
She’s hugging her knees, seated on a blanket with Dani sitting just an inch further away than she’d like. It’s the safe thing, the smart thing, but she misses her--misses the way they sit in hotel rooms and empty bars, knees touching, pinkies overlapping. Dani, in a sundress that matches the blue of her right eye, is laughing as Miles grabs Flora around the middle and tries with all his ten-year-old strength to hoist her off the ground.
“Miles,” Henry calls, his voice laden with the anxiety of a man who has only just begun learning how to parent. “Miles, be careful--”
“They’re all right,” Jamie interrupts, tossing a handful of warm sand toward Henry’s precarious perch on a plastic chair. "Have you been wound this tight the whole fucking time?”
He looks pained. “You’ll excuse me for never having raised two children before. They’ve been a bit...”
“Precocious?” Dani suggests brightly.
“Demonic?” Jamie says at the same time. Henry sighs.
“Adventurous, shall we say, to meet in the middle.”
“They haven’t been...” Dani’s smiling, the way Jamie has grown accustomed to over the last few months: a beautiful smile that never entirely reaches her eyes. It’s the way she smiles when she thinks she needs to wear a mask of stability, when she needs everyone to think she’s doing all right.
Henry frowns. “Haven’t been what?”
Dani shrugs, looking uncomfortable. “Scared? Having nightmares? I don’t know...”
She’s asking-not-asking about that night, like she told Jamie she wasn’t going to do. They don’t need me bringing it up, she’d said back at the hotel, holding tight to Jamie in a way that said she very much needed to talk about this against her own will. They deserve to just live their lives.
Henry looks puzzled. “Strange, but no. No nightmares. Flora had a few at the very start, before we left London, but...no. Not since arriving here.”
Dani nods like this is all she wants to hear, and rubs her cheek with one slightly-sunburnt hand, the moment passing into obscurity as Flora shrieks and Miles trips directly into an oncoming wave. It’s all good here, all sunshine and ease of temper, and Jamie watches Henry stand. Brush off shorts that look truly insane set against his pale legs. Go awkward-jogging into the surf to lift a giggling Flora heavenward.
“They make a fine little family,” she says, pitching her voice so only Dani can hear. Dani nods. There’s a tightness to her mouth that says she’s only half here, only half able to let the sun bake away the shadows. Jamie touches her ankle lightly, wishing they were somewhere less requiring of distance.
“I’m all right,” Dani says. Not a lie of intent, at least, though Jamie suspects it’s more that she wants to be all right. She watches Dani roll onto her front, eyes on the endless ocean, the children tumbling around in its gentle grasp, the man doing his best to keep up.
Could watch her forever, Jamie thinks, knowing it’s far too early to say something so catastrophically huge. She’s been having these thoughts more and more, wild notions of turning this brand-new adventure with Dani into a lifetime event. It turns a key somewhere deep within her chest, some far-off engine making a deep rumbling sound that sends her tripping toward a very real, very powerful feeling of terror.
Her hand slips toward the bag of sunscreen, paperback novels, sliced oranges. A camera, small and yellow and used mainly in moments like this one, emerges. Dani never notices as she brings it to her eye, frames Dani’s blonde ponytail and sun-pink skin, snaps a photo.
Later, when the pictures are developed and spread out across a hotel bedspread, shots of Miles with an orange-peel grin and Flora standing before a monster of a sandcastle intercut with Dani’s far-off pensive expression, Dani will touch the print. Lingeringly, fingers trembling just the slightest bit.
“Why this one?”
Because I loved you more than words could capture, Jamie will know it’s far too early to say. It’d be reckless. It’d be testing the bounds of something still fragile, still one-day-at-a-time hopeful.
“Why not?” she’ll say, and tuck the photo safely back into its sleeve.
***
A photo: Jamie and Dani, backs to the freshly painted Leafling sign, standing carefully apart with shoulders back and a small bouquet of flowers clutched in Dani’s hands.
They keep to themselves, mainly, but some of the nearby shopkeepers have been kind as The Leafling goes from mad late-night concept to brick-and-mortar reality. They bring welcome-to-the-block plants and casseroles that are mostly-edible, and Dani accepts each one with true Midwestern courtesy. Jamie leans back, watches the art of neighborly behavior being painted before her eyes: older women who compliment Dani on her earrings, young men bullied into helping move heavy boxes into storage by their mothers. Dani, in the middle of it all, wearing a soft pastel sweater and a smile that has finally remembered its own strength.
She wasn’t sure how this would go, if Jamie’s honest about it. She’s been telling Dani not to worry for weeks, telling Dani they don’t need to know much about a business to run this one. I grow, you arrange, we make out like bandits with all the nice Americans who value pretty things. It’ll be perfect, Poppins. She’s been saying it, and she thinks she even believes her own words most of the time, but there have been dreams. Anxiety running its red thread through her sleep, telling her she has no skill in this arena, no education to speak of, no idea how to survive in American business while hiding her relationship with her “business partner”.
The day the shop finally opens, Jamie has been saying “it’s going to be great” for so long, she almost surprises herself by rushing into the bathroom and vomiting into the toilet. Dani, expression warm and just the tiniest bit teasing, leans against the doorframe.
“You all right?”
“Perfect,” Jamie gasps, staggering to the sink and thrusting a toothbrush into her mouth. “Jus’ great.”
“Too late to turn back now,” Dani points out. “What would we do with all the business cards?”
Jamie groans, spitting mint foam and rinsing out her mouth. “You could show just the slightest bit less glee, Poppins. I’ve just run us into a brick wall of imminent failure.”
Dani laughs, coming up behind her to hug her tight around the middle. “We should probably at least unlock the doors for the first time before you decide it’s time to shutter them again.”
She’s good today, Jamie senses--not the fake-good where she tries her best to pretend she isn’t listening for some deep-down movement Jamie can’t register, but truly happy. Her body is relaxed, her hands certain as she tips Jamie’s cheek and kisses her calm.
“How,” Jamie gasps when they break, “are you not out of your bloody mind right now?”
Dani shrugs. “It’s like the first day of school. Spend all summer planning and worrying, but now it’s happening. Just gotta jump in.”
There are already people waiting when they arrive, to Jamie’s mingled horror and delight. Most of them are their fellow shopkeepers, waiting with the brilliant smiles of people who have already lived this particular nightmare themselves, and just want to pay forward the relief of customers actually turning up. They’re kind, these people--they don’t know Jamie in the least, don’t have the first idea what shadows lurk behind Dani’s eyes, but they take their hands, squeeze, and congratulate them all the same. Jamie thinks they even mean it, most of them. Americans are complicated, boisterous, scandalous people--but they can have such heart.
One woman, old enough to be Jamie’s grandmother, presses a bouquet of peonies against Dani’s chest. “For luck,” she says croakily, patting Dani’s cheek like she’s known her since Dani was three feet tall. “Dry ‘em, hang ‘em somewhere in the back. Remember we’re all rooting for you.”
“Rooting,” a man who owns a nearby pizzeria hoots. “Good one, Carol!”
Jamie almost rolls her eyes, but Dani is beaming. When the others make flapping get in front of the sign gestures, they can’t help but obey, standing with a perfectly-maintained half-person between their shoulders. She wants so badly to reach over, to take Dani’s hand, to kiss her with all the terror and relief she’d never known she could feel at once. Instead, she smiles as professionally as she knows how for the camera someone produces. It’s enough.
Later, tapping a finger against the print the photographer drops on their counter, Jamie says, “Look like I want to pass out.”
Dani glances toward the window, takes note of the empty street, presses a quick kiss to her cheek. “I’d have caught you.”
***
A photo: Jamie, sitting just behind Dani on a plush couch, arm wrapped around her waist, cheek pressed to flyaway blonde hair. Dani, grinning her widest, cheesiest grin, leaning back like she knows there is no world in which Jamie would ever let her fall.
There are parties, occasionally--usually thrown by other under-the-radar couples they get along with well enough for drinks, not so much that they truly build relationships. They like the quiet life, the two-person road trips, the easy silence after a long day. But, sometimes, life is grand and big and loud, and on those nights, they venture out into the world.
There are a pair of men maybe five years their senior who have been together for “a decade”, if you ask Mike, “a century”, if it’s Paul telling the tale. They’re good people, and their home is a safe space Jamie doesn’t anticipate finding.
Friends are hard, she thinks. Always were, but they’re so much harder once you’ve lost a couple.
Still: when Mike and Paul are set to celebrate a round ten years together (”An eternity,” Paul clarifies, leaning against the Leafling counter to invite them over), they go. Dani wants to, and it’s good seeing Dani want things like this. It’s been almost a year together, almost a year of exploring the map and one another, and Dani’s been getting softer around the edges, less prone to jumping at shadows. The Dani Clayton of a year ago wouldn’t want to attend parties, lest the beast inside leap while her guard is lowered; the Dani Clayton of tonight is holding up a dark green dress, brow furrowed.
“Too much?”
Jamie hums a moment to buy herself time. “Depends.”
“On?”
“Whether you’d like to actually leave the house tonight.” Jamie wiggles her eyebrows, buttoning a black shirt and searching for a good pair of suspenders. Dani laughs.
“I think you can keep your hands to yourself for a few hours.”
“You,” Jamie points out, sidling up behind her and kissing her neck, “have always had entirely too much faith in me, Poppins.”
Dani is, however, a woman of her word when it comes to accepting social invitations, and soon they’re sitting on an exceptionally soft couch in an exceptionally loud living room. Jamie glances around, reading the environment, registering the two women holding hands by the coffee table, the men dancing near the kitchen, the way even the male-female pairs seem not to see anything odd. Mike and Paul have been doing this a long time. This is as safe a space as their own home.
She likes the way Dani relaxes, a little more with every drink tucked into her hand, a little more with a lit cigarette pulled from Jamie’s, a little more still when Mike nudges her and mutters, “Your girl looks good tonight, Clayton.”
She likes, most of all, the way Dani doesn’t flinch away when a Polaroid comes out. These are good people, brave people, smart people. If there are photos taken tonight, they will be pressed straight into the hands of their subjects, gifted away before the chemicals have even processed.
Dani presses back against her, seated on her lap, laughing at some joke Jamie hasn’t really been paying attention to. She’s too busy watching Dani’s profile, the way her head tips back when she’s really laughing, too hard to care what she looks like. Too busy reveling in how it feels to hold Dani in a setting so much more public than usual, her fingers stroking the soft material of Dani’s dress, her body burning and the most comfortable it’s ever been.
Later, with the Polaroid on the nightstand, the green dress on the floor, and a sheet tucked up against the fall chill, Dani says, “We should do that more.”
Jamie chuckles against her shoulder, kissing a patch of freckles. “This?”
“Yes.” Dani wriggles a little, giggling. “But also that.” She’s gesturing to the photo, propped between a lamp and copy of some old Shirley Jackson novel. “It was nice, wasn’t it? Not...”
“Hiding,” Jamie supplies. Dani makes a humming noise soft in her throat.
“I like not hiding you.”
***
A photo: Dani, eyes dark with a smolder only Jamie ever sees, a cigarette between her lips, hair loose around her shoulders.
Nights spent home with Dani, nights where there are no groceries to pick up, no accounting to be done, no errands waiting to be noticed, are Jamie’s absolute favorite thing in the world. There’s just something about this sense of home they’ve been building together, this sense of locked door and secured window and no one else invited to partake that gets Jamie the way nothing else does.
Especially Dani. Dani at home is less reserved, less careful. With every month that passes quietly, no sign of anything but her own mind, Dani gets a little less tight. A little less prone to gazing off into the middle distance. A little less likely to disappear from an otherwise-normal conversation, emerging several minutes later like she’s pulling herself out of a dream.
And, some nights, she’s not just here--she’s utterly present, every atom of her tuned to Jamie like they have no need of space between them, no need of separation. These nights, the nights where Dani strides into the room on a mission, are Jamie’s favorite of all.
“Why,” Dani says, leaning back in a kitchen chair with legs spread and head tilted to exhale smoke toward the ceiling, “are you looking at me like that?”
“Me?” Jamie teases. “You’re the one gazing at me like I’m some terribly interesting new buffet.”
She’s half-joking, but there’s something about the way Dani looks at her on this very particular sort of night, with every line of her body tuned toward Jamie’s, that makes her feel a stupid kind of brave. A reckless kind of excitement unwinds outward, until her fingertips itch to grab at Dani’s hair, her knees weak with the desire to pull Dani close.
She’s doing it now, smoking that cigarette with all the languid energy of a woman perfectly at home, watching Jamie with a faint smirk playing around her lips. No one else sees that smirk, Jamie understands, and it makes her a little faint every time she thinks it. To have something of Dani, some integral comfortable part of Dani that belongs solely to their apartment, their life together, is still a good fortune Jamie can’t entirely parse out.
Her hand moves toward the camera, small and plastic and containing some of the best memories of Dani she desperately needs to keep. Dani lets her snap off a shot, shakes her head when Jamie lowers the camera.
“That’s going to be one of yours.”
She says it every time Jamie tries to capture the white-hot energy of this kind of evening. Dani doesn’t like to see herself through this particular lens, gets fidgety and embarrassed at the sight of her own face etched with such a confident hunger. Jamie asked the first time if Dani wanted her to stop taking the photos altogether, and Dani had shaken her head.
“I don’t mind. But they’re yours, okay?”
She sets the camera aside, moving to take the cigarette out of Dani’s hand, taking a long drag and dropping it in an ashtray. The rest doesn’t need anything in the way--no lens, no embarrassment, nothing but the way Dani’s mouth opens beneath hers, hands already roaming. The rest is not Jamie’s, but theirs, a joint ownership of soft moans and soft skin and soft assurances that this is still, always, home.
Later, with Dani asleep, one hand thrown loosely over Jamie’s hip, Jamie will look at the photos that are hers and hers alone. Dani, mouth wet and swollen from a night spent confined to their bedroom around their anniversary. Dani, grinning and half-asleep, glancing over her shoulder to coax Jamie into putting the camera down, joining her among the blankets. Dani, smoke-haze around her face, wine glass in her hand, looking just past the camera at Jamie’s own desire.
Dani’s choice to share a life with her, Dani’s decision to share every inch of herself with Jamie, is more than Jamie feels anyone deserves.
***
A photo: Dani in front of the Eiffel Tower, sunglasses on, arms spread wide.
A photo: Dani kneeling at the Grand Canyon, gesturing bewilderment at the sheer scope of the place.
A photo: Dani standing before the alleged largest ball of twine in the world, looking rather like she regrets letting Jamie pick the destination this time.
They travel until Dani can’t stomach it anymore, can’t take the uncertainty of unknown roads and unmapped hotel beds--but, first, years of travel. Years of postcards and rental cars, of Jamie turning maps upside down and Dani being shockingly savvy in small-town situations.
These photos, more than any other, feel like they have to be taken for someone else’s idea of posterity, and Jamie feels a little strange, at first. Dani’s already seen much of Europe by the time they meet, and has no photos whatsoever to show for it. Jamie, who started turning up in photos for the first time as an adult, says, “It’ll be good to show ‘em off,” while never quite bringing herself to the edge of an unspoken follow-up question: to whom, exactly? It isn’t as though she and Dani are having children, isn’t as though there will be grandkids tottering around down the line to tune out their stories. Who, exactly, are these mementos for?
Dani is far too kind, far too pragmatic, to put the question to her. Dani only poses, grins, lets Jamie take all the pictures she wants, and then--camera tucked safely away once more--grabs Jamie’s hands and leads her into living it: the food, the outdoor markets, the snowstorms, the sun-kissed hikes. As the years go by, Jamie takes more and more photos, never quite able to explain to herself why it’s so critical. Never quite able to look away when Dani finally covers the lens with one hand and brings her close, kissing her like it’s the first time.
They stop looking at these photos together, after a while. Stop trying so hard to go back, as the days grow shorter and the exhaustion begins to steal the warmth from Dani’s smile. At first, it’s about moving forward--always one foot in front of the other. At first, every photo taken is set aside as a gift to another life. And then, finally, it’s about the moment they’re in, nothing more. Jamie sets the camera on a shelf. Refuses to look at Dani through any barrier but her own two eyes. Dani doesn’t like the snap-click of the camera anymore, anyway--each time, she flinches, like Jamie is about to show her a glimpse of whatever horror she’s been seeing in the mirror.
I only see you, Jamie promises, the ache in her chest so great, she’s sure it will swallow them both. But Dani can’t bring herself to look. Can’t bring herself, just in case Jamie is wrong.
Later--so much later, with eyes stinging and arms empty--she flips through the album and remembers Spain, California, Minnesota, Greece. Later, she finds Dani sticking her tongue out, spinning like a deranged nun out of musical, sitting quietly in a cafe with a small cup of coffee warming her hands. Dani, stiff-shouldered and trying not to laugh as Jamie made faces the one time they ever ventured back to Iowa. Dani, hair blowing back into her face, arms looped around Jamie at a terrifying, exhilarating first Pride parade.
And, in the back, the photos of Dani as only Jamie knew her. The sly grin a second before pinning Jamie to the couch. The sweet surprise from Jamie coming home early with dinner. Shot after shot of no make-up, or smudged eyeliner, or ruined lipstick, of Dani in pajamas on Christmas, or Dani in bed after a shower, or Dani laughing herself silly at nothing Jamie can remember now.
They’re all here, and they’re all Dani--all of Dani Jamie’s got left now--and still, they’re wrong. They sit, plastic and unyielding, beneath flimsy protective sheets, and they don’t laugh like Dani, don’t breathe out against her skin like Dani, don’t smell like Dani’s shampoo or swear like Dani tripping over a shoe in the dark or look at her with that solid, palpable love like Dani did and should still and never will again.
Jamie sits, album in her lap, staring down at Dani with paint smudged on her cheek and their then-new bedroom behind her, and suddenly can’t remember how to breathe. Had she known? Somewhere in the back of her mind that day in a gas station, picking up a little yellow disposable camera, had she known that one day, this would be all she had left of Dani? Surely not. Surely, she hadn’t believed it would go this way, all the way back then. Surely, it was one day at a time, and we’ll have time, and any day with you, Poppins.
Had she known? No. No, of course she hadn’t.
And yet, the idea of not having these in front of her--the idea of Dani’s face slowly, surely, washing away over time as Jamie fails to find her in a world so uncompromisingly cruel...
She touches a shot of Dani with her left hand covering her mouth, her ring gleaming gold against her smile, the day the state had legalized civil unions. Dani as gold as sunshine, in one of the last truly clean moments, before old ghost stories dug rotting fingers into their life. Her vision grays, her head suddenly too heavy to hold up.
She hadn’t known. But she’s glad. She’s glad she has, at least, this much to hang on to.
#the haunting of bly manor#the haunting of bly manor spoilers#fanfiction#dani x jamie#jamie x dani#put it on the list of stuff you can blame jess for#as with everything I have ever written I thought it was going one way and then it did something else
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