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queers-gambit · 6 months

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And Let Me Love You Anyway

[ part two of two ]

prompt: you embark on a secret but passionate affair with the Rogue Prince, and when his wife, Rhea Royce, passes away, he chooses you to wed next - a decision that angers his niece and changes history.

pairing: Daemon Targaryen x female!reader only description given: red hair and Daemon's able to lift you

fandom masterlist: House of the Dragon

word count: 6.3k+

note: what the fuck is this, Cherry? also two parts 'cause author gets carried away!

warnings: show spoilers, cursing, author has small bouts of feministic ideas, author also really likes the "little birds" storyline (let her live!), wonky brain is wonky, i think hurt and comfort, angst, very mild NSFW (female receiving oral), technically alternative timeline 'cause this goofy-ass author has an overactive imagination, #icanmakehimworse, another reader-episode-insert (this warning is for the fucking losers in my inbox).

part one: "Tell Me Every Terrible Thing you ever did, And let me love you anyway," - Edgar Allan Poe

"Alicent, we're late," you sighed with a frown, wiping your sweaty palms nervously as your necklace was latched in place and perfume spritzed on your pulse points. YES - that included your ankles.

"That's the point, sister, we're supposed to be late. It sends a message."

Your eyes rolled, snipping, "The King will not be pleased. I am not his wife, he can get angry at me, you know!"

"He'll manage," she snapped, glancing at Talya. She continued, "He dismissed Father for telling him a truth he would rather ignore. So much so, after years of service, he'd - "

"Yes, yes, the King removed Father as Hand, sent him back home," you nodded with understanding. "But we both know how he feels about his daughter, The Princess! The rumors circulating would cost him his life in the end, we are lucky he was only sent home!"

"Rumors! Rumors, sister, truly!? Tell me, do you think Father lied?"

"I know he didn't."

"Exactly why we're late to tonight's affair," she huffed, fixing her hair in the mirror again. "It's a statement, it's deliberate. We will stand out, prove we are not happy with the turn of events. Why offer Rhaenyra blind respect when she continues to do as she pleases - regardless of consequences."

You paused, sensing her anger brewing and trying to distract, "You know, Ser Lyonel Strong is not a bad replacement for Father."

"This is not about Ser Strong."

"Isn't it? Father's served long and faithfully, but perhaps it is time for a new guidance. Lyonel Strong is a smart man - qualified, even!"

"Yes," she agreed, turning to face you in a shimmering emerald gown. "But this is still an injustice to our family that I fear I cannot overlook any longer. It's been weeks..."

"Yes," you allotted, nodding with a sigh. "All right, yes, you are right, sweet sister. This is all just - it's a lot to take in, to try and digest. And we talk of playing a game with the Throne - I do not think we've the strength to endure alone."

"This is not about Lyonel Strong, sister! It's about Father and the disrespect the Crown continues to offer. Remember that," she advised softly.

You nodded, "I know, sister."

She frowned, "And remember... They aren't our kin. Despite previous displays of kindness, the Targaryens have made it clear that we are not family to them. They are not blood to us, sister; they will protect their own, not us. If we wish to survive, we will need to ally ourselves."

"I understand," you told your younger sister. "I am not arguing, I know what our reality is now - I merely implore to explore the routes that won't label us as traitors."

"I know, we have much to discuss going forward. But none of that for now," she took a long breath, smiling as she looked you up and down, complimenting, "you look stunning. Truly, you might outshine the bride tonight."

"Let's hope it doesn't come down to that, and that The Princess has a mature bone in her body - though I do not hold out hope." You smiled at her, "But enough about me, you look - you look like a Queen, sister-dearest. Gods, you're gorgeous, you look just like Mummy." The two of you shared an emotional, watery smile; embracing tightly as reality settled in your guts: it was you two Hightower Ladies against the whole of the Targaryen clan. "Come," you decided, taking a deep breath, "are we ready to go? Any later and I fear we might not get any cake."

"Oh, you and cake," she smirked, looking you over in a matching emerald, lighter-weight gown that had layers of thin fabrics clinging and dripping from your form. Golden jewelry was clasped around both your necks, wrists, tight around your fingers, and plugged into your ear piercings.

The Queen took your arm and left the dressing chambers you took refuge in, coming to a gasping halt when you were greeted by a well-groomed man in green velvet. "Father," Alicent exclaimed in shock.

"My daughters," he smiled, offering both arms, "I do believe we are now fashionably late. Hmm?"

"Exactly as we intended," you mused, taking his arm. "How is this possible? How are you here?"

"I was invited, if you believe that," Otto answered, the three of you walking slowly. "Though, I suspect your sister had something to do with that?"

"I only told Viserys I'd be deeply offended if you were ignored for this event," Alicent quipped.

"None the less, I am happy to escort my daughters to such a historic event," he spoke diplomatically, aware of the guards and servants milling around. Otto lead the way to the Throne Room - where you could hear King Viserys' echoing speech from the foyer.

None of you spoke, approaching the open doors and pausing to let everyone see the united Hightowers. Alicent wore her dark auburn locks pulled back from her face to cascade in thick ringlets down her back, your own Hightower-red hair left down around your face with the longer locks pinned off your neck. The entire room - the entire court - all wedding attendees and royal procession stared at you three in shock for entering during the King's speech. Your statement was clearly made.

Even from this distance, you could see how startled Rhaenyra was by your arrival, needing to fight off a smirk of amusement in order to keep your neutral façade.

You and Alicent walked arm-in-arm with your father, the once-Hand, down the stairs and up the aisle of banquet tables full of people, staring forward and giving no emotion away. The people buzzed in quiet gossip. The attending Hightowers of Oldtown, sitting closest to the royal banquet table because of their relation to the current Queen, stood first; everyone else following in a show of respect.

You and Alicent paused to let Otto sit with his relatives at the lower banquet table before joining arm-and-arm together. Over the muttering of the entire room, you whispered almost mutely, "Be kind, remain composed, we'll kill 'em with kindness."

Alicent gave a subtle flex to give indication she understood.

When you looked up at the table you approached under the King's heavy glare, you noticed there was an empty chair between Ser Strong and... Prince Daemon? Was that really him? When did he get here? Why was he back? It's only been a few weeks!

Your shock did not slow you, and as you approached the table reserved for the Royal Family, you saw Daemon smirking at your theatrics. Alicent did not let you part from her side as she greeted Princess Rhaenyra with a sickly-sweet voice, "Congratulations, stepdaughter. What a blessing this is for you."

She ignored any other reaction to let go of your arm, kiss her husband's cheek in greeting, stand beside him, in front of her chair, and stare forward with zero other emotion.

"Congratulations, Princess," you whispered, bowing your head. "Your Grace," you acknowledged, doing the same and taking the empty chair between Lord Hand and Rogue Prince only to stoically stare forward in silence. You did as Alicent did, not looking at any other, and just waiting for a pregnant moment that seemingly never ended.

"Please be seated," Viserys finally permitted, everyone sitting at his behest. He cleared his throat, whispering to Lyonel Strong, "Where was I?"

"The joining of the two Houses, Your Grace."

You swallowed when a warm hand laid on your right thigh, Viserys continuing his speech. You glanced at Daemon, seeing his smirk, and instead of throwing his hand off you, you laid your own over his to give a long squeeze. You had wrestled with the idea of his favorite whore, Mysaria, and the idea of whatever he did with Princess Rhaenyra for weeks. Then when you heard word that his wife, Lady Rhea Royce, had met her untimely end, you knew he was involved, yet said nothing. You could only think deeply about what it all meant - and how you fit into the equation that was Prince Daemon Targaryen.

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did...

All you could understand was the overwhelming affection you held for him. His shocked-wide-eyes found yours for a long moment, seeming communicating telepathically - you telling him you wanted him. His hand tightened to keep hold of yours, hidden from the public for the time being.

And let me love you anyway...

You tuned back into the King's speech in time to clap with the others, showing your support of the union you technically helped influence between Targaryen and Velaryon.

However, you caught the way Alicent glared at Rhaenyra, sighing to yourself; having heard through long private dinners what Alicent came to know and why this upset her so much. How strange to learn Ser Criston Cole admitted to Ali that he was coerced into soiling the Princess' purity - not her Uncle Daemon, like rumored. Yet none the less, the girl had sworn on her beloved, dearly departed mother to Alicent that she was still a maiden... A huge, glaring lie - that both you and Ali took personally.

You found all of this terribly interesting, yet did not let the distain show so boldly. After Daemon came to you in confession, you had yet to speak a word outside of public politeness to the Princess; feeling betrayed by what your lover had told you. He had been right: you were Rhaenyra's friend, she wasn't yours. So, you demoted yourself to create distance.

When the drums rumbled and the Princess took to the dance floor with her intended, you spared Daemon a look and muttered, "You do not have to look so annoyed."

"I'm not, sweet one."

"Nor so amused," you tacked on.

Daemon smirked at you, leaning in and pondering, "I am only wondering if you would care for a dance later, my Lady?"

You lied, speaking in a teasing tone, "I'm not one for dancing, my Prince."

"A single dance with me, then. Just one, pretty lady."

"You're pushy," you whispered, nudging him to keep quiet; but the grin on your lips assured him you were completely enraptured by his antics.

He sat back with a smirk, watching his niece and her fiancé dance. The entire courtroom clapped at the end, others flooding to the spaces around them. You glanced over as your sister stood from her seat, meeting your eyes and offering only a soft smile before descending from the table to approach your aunt and uncle from Oldtown - standing with your father on the side of the room. You sighed under your breath, your lover tightening his grip on your thigh.

Daemon made for a great distraction. "Did you hear the news?" He asked softly, reaching for his goblet of wine with his free hand.

"Which news would that be, my Prince?" You asked casually, pretending your heart wasn't hammering in your chest.

"Of my dear wife's passing."

"I did, actually," you fought off your smirk. "I am truly sorry to hear of it, I understand Lady Rhea was truly one of a kind. You shouldn't speak ill of the dead, love," you reminded in a whisper.

"Hmm. Don't be sorry, I'm not," he eased.

"You're not? Your wife died, Daemon..."

"I know," he met your gaze, "I'm not sorry because now it gives me vocation to follow my own desires."

You smirked, "Which desire will you follow first?"

His hand tightened to a bruising grip. He was not able to answer yet because your gaze was caught by movement, Rhea Royce's cousin approaching slowly, evidently a cup or two deep in the wine; making you remove Daemon's hand so you both could sit casually - without touching.

The man gruffly leered at Daemon, "In the Vale, men are made to answer for their crimes." Your lover spared you an exasperated look as he tacked on, "Even Targaryens."

"Who are you?" Daemon asked dully.

"This is Ser Gerold Royce, my Prince," you told him softly, "of Runestone."

Daemon perked his brow, asking sarcastically, "An excellent show of your knowledge, my sweet lady, but what does that matter to me?"

You didn't answer, Ser Lyoel Strong (who was listening in) didn't answer, because Ser Gerold was approaching the table by climbing the stairs. He growled at Daemon, "I am cousin to your late Lady wife."

"Ah, yes... Terrible thing," Daemon offered. "I'm positively bereft. Such a tragic accident."

"You know better than anyone, it was no accident."

Through a smirk, Daemon quipped, "Are you confessing some guilt, Ger Gerold?"

"I am making an accusation."

You shared a look with Lyonel to your left, catching sight of the King's turned head - showing he was listening, too. Daemon easily deflected, "Here, in King's Landing, men are made to answer for their slanders. Even old bronze cunts like you." This angered Ser Gerold visibly, the man stepping closer, but obviously restrained himself. Your lover continued, "The truth is I'm glad you've come. I wish to speak to you about my inheritance."

"What inheritance?" Ser Gerold demanded.

"Lady Rhea and I had no heirs. As her husband, whatever she was due now passes to me. She stood to inherit all of Runestone. Did she not?" Daemon had Ser Gerold pinned by legality, the man looking disturbed by his own realization. So, naturally, Daemon taunted, "After my niece's wedding, I plan to fly to the Eyrie and petition Lady Jeyne myself. Perhaps I'll see you there, Ser Gerold."

The man sheepishly walked away, his inebriated mind whirling with possibilities. You glared, pinching Daemon's arm so you could scold him when he turned to face you, "That wasn't very kind."

"And?"

"You don't truly care for Runestone," you snapped. "Now that man will fear for his home, fret over the laws, and that's not very nice."

He sighed, "What would you have me do, sweet one?"

"Leave House Royce to grieve and rearrange their succession without your pettiness."

Daemon smirked, "Whatever my Lady wants."

"You're dreadfully annoying tonight, do you know that?" You whined. "I'm going for a dance, and no, this is not an invitation to follow," you warned him - albeit playfully - before standing to excuse yourself.

"Sister," Alicent paused you before you could pass her by. "Are you well?"

"Yes, yes, just felt like dancing, too much energy to just sit. Come join - "

"No, no, I should sit. Eat," she smiled. "Perhaps tonight will be when you meet your match and we can plan another wedding."

"Perhaps," you mused, squeezing her hand. "You all right? What did Father and Uncle say?"

"Later," she whispered. "Go on, go."

You joined the stream of people dancing, instantly grinning when you were welcomed joyfully by different suitors. The band played a lively beat, the crowd cheering in rhythm; you being twirled around men and women with matching grins.

You heard your name being cheered through a small giggle.

"Hi, Princess," you greeted Rhaenyra as you both marched along to the beat. You reminded yourself this was all a game and if you wanted to survive, you'd have to play your part strategically. So, you quipped as you danced with Ser Arryn Blackwell, "Nice party you've got, huh?"

"Oh, you know how we Targaryens do," she teased. "Where've you been lately? I feel as if I've hardly seen you."

"Just busy with chores since Father was replaced as Hand," you answered, spinning under someone's arm.

Nyra didn't comment on that, instead, waiting a few moments before complimenting, "That's a beautiful dress, really goes with your hair!"

"That's what I hoped for," you gasped girlishly, deciding to play nice when she reached for your hands. You felt weak for a moment, but the truth was, you missed your friend... So, you might've giggled a bit when you joined hands, dancing together instead of with anyone else. With kindness, you offered, "You look gorgeous, as well, Princess, I love this dress - "

"Yes, yes, we all look fantastic," Daemon interrupted abruptly, crowding over you, asking quickly, "can I speak to you a moment, my Lady? The Princess won't mind, right, Rhaenyra?"

"Uh, no, I guess..." She eyed the two of you with suspicion as she stayed in-beat with the music.

"Daemon, not now - "

"We need to talk," he pulled you from where you danced, glancing back at the head banquet table as he took your hand, and lead you deeper into the crowd. He turned you to face him, pacing a small circle around you, demanding, "Do you still want to marry me?"

"What? Why are you asking now?"

"Because I just asked your father for permission," he seethed, pausing in front of you, "and he outright refused, saying he's negotiating with the fucking Lannisters. I need to know what you want."

"I was not aware what I wanted mattered to you, the man who views marriage as a political arrangement," you eyed him with a curled lip of annoyance.

"What arrangement could I want? Your sister is Queen, my family is bound to the Hightowers already. My political marriage is recently dissolved, I am free to do as I please, regardless of what others want or say - "

"Then tell me what you want. Tell me plainly what you want from me, Daemon, no more pretty words and veiled truths. Be plain."

"You said I had a year, and look - it's been weeks. Weeks, my love, how much more plain can I be? I'm here, now, free to marry, and I need to know if you still want to marry me. I'll marry you tomorrow - "

"Oh, please! Would you steal me away?" You mocked with a chuckle. "Take me to Dragonstone? Make me your little wife that you'll come to resent, too? Just as you did Rhea?"

He reached out to aggressively hold your cheek and jaw. "I had no choice in my first marriage, I could never come to resent you - you're all I've ever wanted. I'd do anything for you," Daemon snarled over your lips, "including risking your father's wrath. I'd do anything to make sure we end up together, you are my heart - do not forget that."

"Then pull out your sword, cut them all down," you purred, feeling his hand tighten, "and claim me as your own - do not let anyone stop us."

His lips hovered over yours, breathing the same air, and before he could respond or kiss you, a woman screamed shrilly from behind you. Daemon instantly latched onto your body as a crowd formed to your left and right, and when you both looked, you were shocked to see the commotion happening at your feet.

"Love - "

"Daemon," you paused him, shocked as Ser Criston Cole was engaged in a fist fight with some Velaryon knight before Ser Laenor Velaryon, the groom, was tackling him to the side. What an interesting display of protectiveness from Ser Laenor over his knight.

Daemon rushed in your ear, "Do not look - come away with me."

"Wait," you held his hands to your waist, letting him crowd into your back as Cole had punched Laenor to the side and straddled the blonde on the floor once more.

He landed one blow before the knight was brandishing a dagger; but the White Cloak caught his arm and easily snapped it broken, startling the crowd. Beyond your ring of spectators, other men were trading blows and engaged in their own fights; total chaos taking over the whole of the Throne Room. You flinched back into Daemon's embrace when Cole screamed like a wild man in the mountains, repeatedly pounding his fist into the knight's face; literally caving it in, creating a human minced meat pie.

Someone better contact Mrs. Lovett!

"No more," Daemon decided, Cole rearing himself back as Daemon stooped to heave you over his shoulder. He was able to find safe (enough) passage through the people, approaching the royal banquet table. "Hey, hey," he whispered, setting you down and taking your face in his hands, the wailing of Laenor Velaryon seeing his murdered knight echoing in the Throne Room. "You all right? You hurt? Look at me, love, are you hurt?"

"No, no, I'm okay," you whispered, swallowing unsurely; reaching up to hold his wrists. "I'm okay."

"Sure? You shouldn't have seen that - "

"It's all right," you assured, stroking his wrists. "I'm okay, Daemon, truly. Just... A little startled, maybe?"

"What's this then?" Harwin Strong smirked, panting lightly from his rescue mission as the Princess was attending her father, the King. "You two hit it off then, yeah? Is it me or are sparks flying?"

"Something like that," you whispered, trying to regulate your breathing after the adrenaline-inducing scrimmage.

"Easy does it, love," Daemon whispered, keeping you close as you didn't let go of his hands; wanting to stay connected. He told Harwin, giving a half-shrug, "They aren't sparks. She's everything to me."

"Perhaps your second wedding will go better than this one," Harwin sighed, hands on his hips.

"In some cultures, deaths at a wedding are considered good luck," you muttered, Daemon snorting lightly in amusement before running his thumbs over your cheekbones in soothing gestures.

"Didn't your wife just pass, Prince Daemon?" Your father demanded publicly with a heavy glare. "You'd offer insult to her memory by remarrying so quickly?"

"I've grieved Lady Rhea plenty, Ser Hightower, it's time to look to the future," Daemon declared, eyes daring your father to challenge him. "The Lady Hightower and I will wed. The sooner, the better, in truth."

And history would never be the same.

"What?" Rhaenyra demanded, whirling around at the news, making all others pause in confusion. "What did you say?"

"That I intend to marry the Lady Hightower."

"Her? Her? Fucking her - who is more prude than woman?!"

Well, that was mildly offensive...

"Rhaenyra - "

"What makes you think you're worthy?" She demanded of you, turning from her father to stalk across the platform. "Worthy of a man like Daemon, of a husband like Daemon? You've done nothing to - to deserve such a title! The title of Princess, of wife!"

You were honestly confused to your core.

"I deserve a man like he - not someone like you!" She continued, shocking the group as the Kingsguard cleared the Room of any lingering stragglers to keep this as private as possible. "You think I didn't see you on my tour? You were fawned over, all wanted to talk with you, but were forced to line up for me! You rejected them all on your own, and now I see why! You wanted to wait until the Lady Rhea passed, which makes me wonder - what part did you play in that?"

"Rhaenyra!" You gasped.

"What? Honestly, it would make sense - the day Daemon's banished, you weren't seen! I wouldn't be shocked if you were seen somewhere lurking in the Vale! You cannot have it all - you've always wanted my life, and now look! You have to have what I have, and now you've taken a liking to my uncle after our scandal! What? He wasn't interesting before? You heard rumors about us and decided you wanted him for yourself? Just because he was mine first? You just want to be me, you always have - you've always reeked of jealousy! This is all you wanted, to steal my family, and - "

"That's enough," Daemon tried. "You are out of turn here, Rhaenyra, do not make this worse."

"Why? Because little Lady Hightower's façade of being a respectable, pure woman is now tarnished?"

"We share one dance, albeit intimate, sit next to each other at a single dinner, shared some conversation, and you now think it's appropriate to call my virtue into question? What of your own, Princess? You just admitted to scandal with Daemon - but I wonder why the service of Moon Tea if your virtue was unimpeachable?" You demanded, feeling defensive on a new level. Even Alicent straightened up at your words.

However, Daemon rushed to add, "With all due respect, Princess, I don't want you, and you can't claim me as your own when you never had me. You might be angry, but it is no use to take it out on my intended, she is of rare stock and breed - she will not be questioned. Nor will my intentions with her."

Rhaenyra snarled, "Yeah? You don't want me? Well, you wanted me enough to try and fuck me at that whorehouse!"

There were gasps and murmurs all around, but Rhaenyra was glaring at you and Daemon, still standing together. His arms actually dropped to hold your waist, keeping you close as he snarled at his niece, "But I didn't. If memory serves right, I walked away!"

"You wanted me!" Rhaenyra raged. "You always were and always will be mine - regardless of the whores you bed in the meantime! And I want you, I am not yet married - "

"Yet I will not be who marries you, I am betrothed to another," Daemon reminded with a venomous tone. "There's nothing you offer that I want, Rhaenyra."

"I am not some inexperienced little girl anymore, I'm a woman grown, and I could do more for you than she ever could!"

"Rhaenyra!" Viserys roared.

Everyone knew she had gone too far and there was no coming back from any this. After a beat, Alicent stepped in as if questioning for the first time, "And yet, sister, you said the Princess was served Moon Tea? If Prince Daemon did not touch the Princess, does this mean she still," she scoffed as if the idea were absurd, "sullied her maidenhood? Before marriage?"

It should be noted that Ser Criston Cole was already gone from the hall at this time. In fact, he lingered just outside a side door, listening, in case his name came up. When Alicent spoke, he straightened up and started the slow trek to the Godswood.

"Ser Lyonel? Do I misunderstand?" Alicent pulled the Hand into the fray.

"Well, that's what that would sound like, Your Grace," he agreed begrudgingly. "Moon Tea is beneficial to prevent unwanted consequences outside of marriage."

"From what I understand, she was served by Grand Maester Mellos himself," you told Ali, minds strung together by a common thread. "The castle likes to gossip, you can learn a lot if you just listen."

"This is..." Viserys seethed, "Unacceptable."

"I'm sorry, Your Grace," you instantly apologized.

"No, no," he deflected, hand held up, "you have a duty to the Realm to flesh out any deception. And this," he directed his glare at his daughter, "is a grand deception that cannot be undone, unknown, covered-up, anymore, Rhaenyra!"

There was a meltdown. Everyone began yelling.

Viserys was enraged. Rhaenyra was desperately trying to plead with her father. Lord Corlys was demanding to know what the hell was about to happen with the impending marriage to "the future Queen". Ser Strong was trying to keep the people from each other's throats.

His sons stood to the side and just let them all fight.

Daemon kept you out of the line of fire, away from the action; sighing as you deflated into his chest. Over it all, Viserys' voice was angriest, and you heard, "You are no daughter of mine! The position you have put me in tonight - I cannot undo this, Rhaenyra! I should have never disinherited Daemon for you, breaking centuries of tradition because I wanted to see your mother in you! You have spat in my face around every bend, but this? This is unforgivable, we will not recover from this and I will no longer endure your insolence!"

"Father, please, let me - "

"No," he snarled, "I have had it with your disresepct the past several years, this is beyond any scale." You blinked up at Daemon, his lips curving down as his hands tightened around your form. And then, Viserys said the words, "I made a mistake naming you my heir. You may marry Ser Laenor, if you so choose to, but after that, you will reside on Driftmark with your husband - you will no longer inherit the Iron Throne after me."

"Father!"

"No," he snapped, "you've exhausted my patience, Rhaenyra!" Viserys roared. "And while Daemon might be unpredictable, the woman he wants to marry is not - and from where I am standing, she will make a far better Queen than you!"

It was quiet as everyone forgot their own selfish woes as father disinherited daughter.

"Your Grace," your father tried to step in, "with respect, why not place your son, Aegon, in line after you?"

"Oh, for the love of the Gods, Otto," Rhaenyra raged, rounding on your father, "give up this campaign, you get all you want and more! Your daughter is Queen now and your other daughter will be Queen after that, aren't you listening? Your grandchildren will still inherit the Throne!"

"That's it," Viserys breathed, needing to hold onto the banquet table for balance as all eyes turned to him again. "It's time to do what I should've done all along. Rhaenyra," he shook his head, "I can no longer have you as my heir, this type of behavior cannot stand. I will give you permission to marry Ser Laenor, and if he chooses not to, I will allow you to reside on Dragonstone until a match is made. Until then," his eyes shifted to where you and Daemon stood, "I name my brother, Prince Daemon Targaryen, as my Heir to the Iron Throne."

"You would not name your son?" Alicent asked in mild disbelief.

"No," Viserys told her, "no, I would see my brother as my heir. Should Aegon prove to live up to his namesake, we can talk about succession again, but I know my brother is capable... And though he might be overly wanting, he will learn patience, because I know the love of a good woman can change a man for the better."

You smiled, feeling emotional for a moment, but Daemon asked for you both, "Brother, do you mean to give your blessing?"

"Of course," he nodded once, "why waste a good wedding tourney? We shall announce on the morrow our new intentions - to crown Daemon as heir and marry him to the Lady Hightower. This matter," he panted, glaring at everyone, "is resolved, I will not hear more. Make the preparations!"

It happened in slow motion. Rhaenyra's rage flared to a temperamental height previously unknown; lunging to seize her father's Valyrian Steel, prophesy-engraved dagger, turn, and charge straight for you as the remaining audience shouted in panic. You felt Daemon try to push you behind him, but instead, your own temper flared and you stepped up to meet Rhaenyra; catching both her arms to hold her at bay.

Daemon was at your flank if you needed him, otherwise, he kept the Kingsguard away from you two - knowing this needed to happen now. Or else something worse would happen later...

"For fuck's sake, Princess! What is this? Jealousy? Huh?" You asked through your tears, struggling to hold your old friend's weight away from you. "What is this jealousy, Nyrie, hmm?"

"Don't call me that," she grit. You just sighed, pushing her back a little but not enough to overpower her; the girl's anger making her stronger than you would've previously guessed. "You've gone too far," she seethed through tears.

“I? What have I done but what was expected of me? Forever upholding the Kingdom, the family, the law. While you flout all to do as you please! Where is duty? Where is sacrifice? It’s trampled under your pretty foot again!"

"You think you finally get my life, huh?" She snarled. "You won't ever be accepted - not as Queen - not as part of this family! You've wanted this all along! Haven't you!?" She struggled against you, hands sweating. "You've always wanted my life, that's why you stuck around! Your mother died - so you tried to take a place in my family, make them yours - and now, look! You're nearly there! Pouncing on my uncle the moment he's widowed!" She snarled, bearing her teeth.

“Exhausting, wasn’t it? Hiding beneath the cloak of your own righteousness. But now they see you as you are, Nyrie," you whispered with a broad smirk.

"You aren't fit to play this part! To have my life! You'll never be accepted as their Princess!"

"I wager I'll do a better job than you ever could," you hissed. "There's not much to live up to, you don't leave a lot of room to fill."

She screamed when Ser Harwin's arms seized around her waist, but the momentum of him pulling her back and Rhaenyra's thrashing cause the Valyrian Steel dagger to slice your forearm. You yelped and reared back amongst the startled gasps and panicked murmurs from the crowd, Daemon catching you. The dagger clattered to the floor as Harwin backed up several paces to keep the belligerent girl at bay. You whimpered quietly at the sting, a pool of blood forming to the side you held your arm at.

"Fuck's sake," Daemon growled, "lemme see, lemme see, my love, c'mere," he winced, looking around before using his own belt to yank free and tourniquet around your lower elbow. "You're bleeding a good bit," he whispered, "you'll need stitches, sweet one."

You pouted at him, wincing again in pain when he tightened the belt.

Around you, the Kingsguard was ordered to escort Rhaenyra to her chambers, and the moment she was marched out of sight, Daemon was warning his brother that she knew about her secret passage door and parts of the tunnels.

Go stand watch," a personal guard was ordered by the King. "Someone go - go find Ser Cole - I want him posted in the Princess' passage, he's trusted to us."

Alicent slunk off to do exactly that, and she'd tell you later that Cole was found only moments from taking his own life. He was overjoyed to hear the King had requested him personally to stand guard for such a sensitive situation.

In the meantime, Lord Corlys Velaryon and his wife, Princess Rhaenys Targaryen, thought it best their son not marry Rhaenyra; now that she had been disowned, she was less appealing. Viserys was free to offer her again later if Laenor was not married in that time and if she showed true change, but after tonight, nobody thought that possible.

Daemon tried helping your wound, your father approaching as he laid a clean cloth over the cut. Your lover tisked, "It's deeper than I thought. We should get this looked at."

"A moment," Otto prevented.

"If it would please you, this is not an injury I'd like to wait to attend to," Daemon sighed, nodding at your bloodied forearm that he held.

"I only meant to say, you have my blessing to marry, my Prince," Otto nodded at him. "Seeing the kindness you show my daughter, I feel... Content knowing she will be loved and cared for."

"Thank you," Daemon nodded.

"Yes, thank you, Father, but we really must be going, this doesn't feel very nice," you rushed to explain, watching him nod and eye your injury with worry.

"This way," He even instructed, a few handmaids rushing forward to help herd you away.

"Doing all right, love?" Daemon muttered as you walked.

"Bit shocked," you admitted.

"I'd say," he mused.

"It burns," you pouted at him.

"We'll get everything tended to, you'll feel better soon," he soothed.

You peaked up at his worried brow, pouted lips, darting eyes; whispering, "You're heir, again, Daemon."

"So it would seem," he deadpanned. "Can we not talk about it now?" He requested quietly, "I only wish to see to this wound of yours."

You nodded, and once in Mellos' chamber, you were left alone with your father - since Daemon was not yet your husband. Otto was silent as your forearm was stitched carefully; the bleeding staunched, herbs stuffed in the wound to prevent pain and promote healing. As you let Mellos wrap you in gauze, you glanced at your father.

"So... Your blessing, is it?"

"He's different with you already," he nodded stiffly. "And after his nieces' display tonight, I can think of no better future Queen."

"I do not wish to talk about future station, Father, but instead, that... That Daemon makes me happy and I am relieved you have given us your blessing. It would've felt very wrong to marry without my father in attendance."

Otto wasn't affectionate in the least bit, but he showed his love by doing his best to understand situations before passing judgement. It created a sense of trust and security between father and daughter. So, he asked earnestly, "And you will overlook what he did with Princess Rhaenyra?"

"He told me of it all the morning after it happened, I've had time to think, and I've had time away from him. I know what I want, Father, and while Viserys has changed history - again - tonight by naming Daemon heir, I know he is the man I want for the rest of my life."

"I see," he nodded. "Then... By all means, I will see this union happen."

"Thank you," you whispered, the Maester tying the gauze. "Thank you, Grand Maester," you spoke calmly.

"Of course, uh, um, Princess."

"I don't think I'll get used to hearing that," you whined, standing off his table. "Will you talk to Daemon for me, Father? I think you need to clear the air... I will not say the King will instill you as Hand again, but if I am to marry the Prince, I will need there to be peace between our families."

He nodded, opening the door for you, "It will be arranged, my daughter..."

As Otto took his leave, Daemon, pacing the hall, approached you. He took hold of your waist, asking, "Are you all right?" You let him hold your injured wrist in a soft grip, viewing the wrappings.

"Yes, Your Grace," you teased, watching his pale face flush.

"Don't start with that."

"Mellos just called me Princess."

"You are," he grinned. "And we will be married in less than a week's time."

"I can hardly wait," you whispered, letting his lips find yours in a searing show of rare public affection.

requesting rules and masterlist

HOTD masterlist

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yuri-is-online · 10 months

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Out With the Old (Heartsabyul, Savanaclaw, and Octavinelle x Yuu)

"Look I would get rid of this thing if I could afford a new sweatshirt." You drag the offensive article of clothing over your head completely missing the spark of curiosity and mischief in your companion's eye. "I've got a lot of bad memories associated with this."

"If it's that uncomfortable we can go look for a replacement instead of-"

"Oh no not like that, it's super comfy. I just don't like it because it technically belongs to my ex."

notes: they/them used for Yuu, some questionable behavior from Floyd and Jade because who else? This is meant to be crack. Second part can be found here (x)

Riddle- "THAT'S LITERALLY ILLEGAL???"

He is too focused on hyperventilating because it sounds like you just admitted to a crime in front of him to even think about offering you one of his sweaters. Trey and Cater have to break it down for him unpaid therapist style that no, you are not wearing stolen property (probably), borrowing clothes is just something people in relationships often do. He then further needs it explained that no, you are not still in a relationship and since you want to get rid of the shirt it sounds like things ended poorly. His friends want to try and suggest he should give you an article of his clothing to replace the offending one but he's so focused on getting you something that matches dress code that they decide to quit while they're ahead. Literally.

Trey- "You know you can always ask us if you need help, right?"

Vil's right about Trey's tendency to fuss and spoil people being a bit of a flaw; he's in tune enough with his emotions to know that he should not, for his own sake, give you one of his old sweatshirts without being honest about why he wants you to wear it. But he can't exactly deny his instincts when it comes to the people he cares about. You're cold and uncomfortable, what sort of guy would he be if he just left you all alone? Just please don't brush this off with a comment about how much of a big brother or mother hen he is; it is already going to be pure torture trying to look at you in his things in a Queen of Hearts honoring way. He doesn't need an added complex on top of it.

Cater- "Oh honey no."

Cater doesn't like keeping stuff his exes gave him either, but luckily for him he's never been in a position where that's literally only the stuff he had on him. Speaking of things, he buys a bunch of clothes off magicam he barley has time to take the tags off of before the trend goes stale. You guys should totally ditch what you were planning to do today and have a little fashion show in his room. It'll be cute and he can get a bunch of cammable shots! Just ignore the pop music club hoodie he refuses to take back because it looks "so much cuter on you." <3

Ace- "That's extremely lame prefect."

He isn't blind; you're cute and poor. Anyone would jump at the chance to let you steal a hoodie, besides Ace isn't insecure enough to be super jealous of someone you clearly hate. He knows you well enough to tell when you are silently wishing death on someone, it's all in the vocal tone. But damn if this new bit of information doesn't make things tricky. He already makes a big fuss about not needing to focus on dating right now, and with that iconic sweatshirt of yours technically belonging to an ex it's not like he can just slide you one of his without making it super obvious what he's doing. Looks like you're just going to have to take some extra teasing for a bit prefect, it's his preferred method of cope.

Deuce- "You've been here for how long and the Headmage hasn't given you any clothes?!?!"

Deuce is a good egg whose primary concern is almost always your well being. He tends to act before his common sense and emotions can catch up with his thought process, and that's exactly what happens here. The concept of you dating someone is just so... foreign to him. Not because he thinks your undesirable! It's just that you guys are always hanging out, you not being around makes him feel a bit funny inside, and not in a good way. He doesn't mention that to his mom when he texts her asking if she has any of his old clothes laying around, but she definitely knows what's on his mind. Why else would she have sent his old delinquent jacket?

Leona- "Well that explains why it smells like shit."

Let the record show that Leona is in fact, lying to you. Your clothes don't smell like anything other than you and maybe some of the musk floating around Ramshackle Dorm, but that doesn't stop you from pulling the fabric and taking a good sniff. To Leona, all this really suggests is that you've been over the person long enough that you don't care about keeping their scent around anymore. Sure, a tiny thought does worm it's ugly way into his inferiority complex that "oh they liked someone else" but his equally large ego immediately slams the emphasis on "liked" and starts thinking about how to get his scent on you. He doesn't really own too many jackets like the one you're wearing, but he does have some nice silk scarfs he could wrap you up in. Much classier than whatever trash you had previously been going out with.

Ruggie- "You wanna toss it my way then?"

Clothes are clothes are clothes, you don't see Ruggie acting like his uniform is still Leona's just because that's who originally bought it. If you are really bothered by the memories of your ex, he's willing to listen and make fun of them, assuming that will make you feel better, but this won't make him jealous. That emotion is reserved for when you share food with other people. He is dead serious about taking the sweatshirt if you don't want it, as far as he's concerned that shirt belongs to you, and he wouldn't mind having an excuse to blend your wardrobes a little bit. It would make you even closer to being a real member of his pack.

Jack- "You can just take mine."

Jack's strong sense of justice and firm moral code are definitely his only motivations for offering you one of his sweatshirts. Forcing a student to wear clothes they find uncomfortable and associate with negative memories just because they didn't have the foresight to pack something they did like for a school they didn't know they would be attending is beyond unfair. That's what he tells himself anyway, and it's not like he isn't upset on your behalf, but it's plain as day to anyone that he wants to prove that you can rely on him; he's not like that other person, he doesn't mind being alone together with you.

Azul- "If your finances really are in such dire straights you know I could-"

Revealing personal information in Azul's presence is asking to be offered a deal. Sure that little complaint might have been insignificant to you, but for Azul? He's having a full blown Sherlock style breakdown going on in his head trying to decide what his angle is. 1) The prefect has dated in the past and doesn't look on that experience favorably. Does this prevent them from dating again? Needs further analysis. 2) Giving articles of clothing is an acceptable form of human courtship, even if used. Or is it especially if used? 3) Can he convince you to burn this if he gets you a replacement or is that too petty? 4) More importantly does this mean you have a type? And how does he press for that information without appearing desperate?

Jade- "Oh? Well that sounds extremely annoying."

Jade Leech is first and foremost a messy bitch who lives for other people's misery. Sure, he is reasonably certain he's in love with you at this point, but that doesn't matter. You have a story that's filled with second hand embarrassment and a bone to pick besides he is nothing if not an enthusiastic audience. The thought of you wearing clothes that he owns wasn't something he would have thought of himself, merfolk don't typically wear them so dating customs that involve them are a bit foreign to him. He would much rather just bite you. Or give you some jewelry. both he wants to do both

Floyd- "PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME"

The instant you say that sweatshirt is from an ex he is taking off whatever shirt he is currently wearing and trying to tug off yours. Yes, even if it is his basketball jersey, and yes even if he just got back from practice. Isn't the scent supposed to be the point? He knows you miss him when he's gone, and he can get you something nicer out of his closet later. Just remember to tell everyone, even and especially if they don't ask, who gave it to you. Floyd's... nice? Enough? To not immediately burn your sweatshirt but it's up for debate if that's because he's actually being nice or if he just wants a trophy.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst x yuu #riddle rosehearts x reader #trey clover x reader #cater diamond x reader #ace trapolla x yuu #deuce spade x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #ruggie bucci x reader #jack howl x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #floyd leech x reader #jade leech x reader

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last-words-ofashootingstar · 11 months

Text

Shells

Chapter Four

Kim Hongjoong x fem reader

a/n: thank you for the support during my break, i've been working on this chapter for a good long while so i hope you enjoy it 🩶

"And from all this gloom, life can start anew..."

✫彡wordcount: 2.6k

♡'･ᴗ･'♡(✯◡✯)genre: yandere, fantasy, (eventual)smut w/plot

ಠ_ಠwarning/contents(chapter specific): captivity, sickness, medical malpractice(technically!?), needles, not proof-read

Shells tags: @ddaeing @the-flavour-of-deaths-ass s @wnewoo @catwhisk MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

San has to physically restrain you after Hongjoong pulls you from the nest, holding you in a strange headlock with your arms squished against your head. Angel wipes her eyes and sits by your feet, holding them down with a shocking force.

Yunho, as you briefly caught, rummages through his brief case in a clear panic as Hongjoong-curled up in the corner with his hands over his ears to block your cries for him- screams at him to hurry.

"Please, Hongjoong, don't let them hurt me! Don't let them hurt me! Why are you doing this," the words lash at his already bleeding heart. And the screech you let out as you see Yunho retrieving a large syringe makes it collapse on itself.

"Please, Precious," he cries from his hiding place, unwilling to let you see him crumbling, "Yunho will take care of you. He is the best doctor in the c-"

"No! No!" Your yells make him whine, and in return; San holds you tighter and screams at the poor blue haired doctor.

"Knock her out already, dimwit!"

"Sannie!"

Angels grip loosens as she scolds her mate, allowing you to toss and turn for a moment before a voice booms out and still the chaos.

"Just what is going on here?" It shakes the walls, knocking Yunho to his behind and scrambling to get the dropped syringe. The remaining sirens all stand at attention and bow their heads.

Hongjoong eyes flick to you in a warning way as you blubber and push yourself up.

"Hello, I asked a question! Why is she still awake?"

Your eyes finally meet the voices owner and you're lost for thought. Blonde hair past his waist, spread on the surface of the water as he floats. An aura of authority radiates off of him. But, you don't feel scared. This siren doesn't active your fight or flight.

"Yeosang, I ca-"

"I don't want to hear from you." He snaps at Hongjoong, turning his attention to Yunho, who's rapidly approaching you from behind. "About time, Yunho." He speaks lowly as the syringe pricks past your skin and a cool liquid floods your senses. "I could hear her screaming from Ormasse. I could barely think."

"I'm sorry, Prince."

"Yeah, yeah." He pulls himself up on the ledge and inspects you as you dizzily crawl towards the safety of the bed. "I assume you haven't done the exam yet. She seems a difficult one."

Hongjoong holds his breath and slowly lowers himself back to the floor, watching as Angel gently leads you away from the bed and towards the sunlight.

"No, she has quite a bit of fight. It took us half an hour to get her out of the nest, she caught on t-"

"Get it done quickly so we can help her. No more human deaths on my watch. Whatever she needs we will provide as a clan. Am I understood?"

They all chime quietly in union, and he's gone before your head rolls back to face the water. You think for a moment he was a fever induced hallucination, but the tense nature of the sirens and the ripples in the water tell you otherwise.

San carefully rests you in Angels lap, and you don't have the strength to fight anymore. "What did you do to me?" You slur quietly, shaking from the chill in your blood stream.

"A sedative. Do your limbs feel heavy?" Yunho picks up your hand by the pinky and lets go, watching it flop back to your side. "Perfect." He turns and drags his case closer, metal objects catching the light and blinding you briefly. "I'll just need to check a few things to determine if the soul mark is the cause. Nothing invasive, a normal checkup and a some tests."

The tears fall freely from your eyes like they're droplets from a broken faucet, unstoppable as they glide down your face and onto Angel's thighs. She soothingly rubs her hands on your shoulders and you look up at her with big eyes.

"Yeji?"

"Yej-" She looks to Hongjoong confused, squeezing your shoulders softly.

"Yeji, I'm so cold..." You stir in her lap softly and lay face down, holding her close in your delirium, "sing me a song... the one Mama sung."

Hongjoong crawls closer as Yunho uncaps a needle and flips your arm, working to find a vein while you're distracted. "The one Mama sung... uhm-" She looks to San, who shrugs and shimmies close on his knees, watching you suspiciously as you cuddle into his mate.

"So dear friends," you mumble, "your love has gone... only tears to dwell upon." Hongjoong scrambles to your side the moment he hears your weak singing, uncaring of the stern look Yunho gives him.

He flops onto his stomach beside you and reaches for your limp hand, gently laying his finger tips over yours, crying silently as it shocks him. But he doesn't move, not one bit. He stays close as Yunho finishes his examination, your shaking voice magic to his ears, even as you trail off to sleep.

"And then from all this gloom, life can start anew. And there'll be no crying soon..."

"I have news."

Hongjoong finally moves as Yunho speaks. The first time he's done so in hours. He groans as he moves his head away from you to look at Yunho. His eyes are dark and dull.

You're still slumped in Angel's lap, the soft strokes she gives your head keeping you in a deep slumber. San had protested and said that she should move away because they don't know what's wrong with you and he'd kill you if you got her sick. But she didn't budge either.

She kept herself leaned over you protectively, doing her best to comfort you in your unconscious state and going as far as making San bring her a blanket to lay under you and sing you as song as you stirred.

San went from sulking in the corners to pacing the room to screaming at Yunho to hurry up and back again.

Yunho, the poor doctor, was simply trying to focus as he watched your blood sample. And when his slit eyes finally caught a glimpse of what he was looking for, he fell over in his chair.

"What is it, is she dying?" Hongjoong pesters as he sits up. "Tell me." His voice booms with an authority that makes the others lower their heads, and your body instinctively rolls towards him. He has to hold back another wave of tears as his heart aches to reach out for you.

"No. She's not dying." Everyone's eyes are on him. "She isn't reject the bite either."

Hongjoong breaths a sigh of relief as he immediately takes you up in his arms and scurries to the nest, pressing his back to the cool wall as he cradles you close.

"She's accepting the bite faster than anyone I've ever seen. Her body is in shock from her own hormones, not yours." Yunho speaks precisely, professionally, digging around in his bag, "she needs more human hormones in her system, is all..."

He strokes your cheek with his thumb. Thanking The Huntress that he wasn't the cause of his Precious's pain. Barely registering the words that are being spoke around him, unaware of the glare San continues to give him.

When Yunho approaches with a syringe filled with dark red liquid, Hongjoong cups your neck so he can't prick you: simply glaring at the man as he steps into your nest. "Who do you think you are?" He growls.

"Hyu-" A simple glare from him shuts San up, leaving him glowering as he squeezes Angel close.

"Get out of our nest!" His voice sounds out loudly, shaking the walls of the cave and waking you with a start.

Your heart thunders in your chest as your eyes flick to the water where your last memory was situated, feeling his hands over your neck, the sudden heat of the world. "Hong-" You can barely slur out his name before his teary eyes are on yours, the life back in the in an instant as he sees your opened eyes.

"Precious, oh thank The Huntress, my (Y/N)," he peppers your face in kisses: uncaring as you cringe at the attention.

"What's happening?" You turn your torso, eyes immediately landing on Yunhos feet past the border of your safety. "Get out of our nest!" Your words echo Hongjoongs, his heart soaring with pride as you fully turn and push the man, albeit weakly, causing him to finally back up. You fall out of his lap and push the mans leg until he lands a few inches away before flopping down on your side and coughing.

San holds Angel back with a hand on her stomach as she tries to approach, letting Hongjoong handle the situation as he rubs your back soothingly. "Get it out, Baby." He peeks at the syringe in Yunhos hand heart tired of breaking at your pain, "what is it?"

Yunho takes a breath to speak before his eyes land on you, clicking in their language instead. All of the sirens seem a bit taken back. Hongjoong hides it the best, simply nodding and holding your hair out of the way. "Give it to her." Angel nearly gags, turning into San's chest so she doesn't have to witness as Hongjoong holds you down softly as Yunho forces the needle to break through your skin.

"It shouldn't take long." You peek at Hongjoong with wide eyes as Yunho speaks.

"Don't worry, Precious, it's just some vitamins, you caught a sickness from the water." His words ease the weight of the fluid as it spreads through you, and you don't bother to realize how Angel is actively gagging.

"It should kick in soon, I'll stay until it does to make sure that it's the right dosage."

The mated duo had long left, leaving the three of you in an awkward silence for a long while until you got the energy back to sit up on your own.

Hongjoong dives down, however hesitant to leave you, to gather some food. You admit that you would have rather had Yunho go, but as he keeps his space from the nest and minds his own business unless you speak first- you find yourself enjoying his company as the minutes drag on.

"How could you tell?" You ask suddenly, spooking the siren.

"Sorry?" He shuts his book and gives his attention to you.

From your spot in the far corner of the nest, curled up in your favorite blanket, you clarify, "that the water made me sick. It seems impossible to tell... I thought for sure that my hormones were killing me, it felt like a period time nine-hundred." He seems taken aback as you chuckle quietly, shuffling in the rickety chair. "I'm curious, is all. You don't have any equipment or labs I'm assuming."

He fixes his posture and clears his throat before speaking. "I could see the virus in your blood. I have very good eyes." Before you can open your mouth to ask, he responds, "not all sirens can see what I do. It takes some focus and practice and a lot of headaches but I can see pretty much every molecule if I try hard enough."

"That's... that's really cool." Your soft laughter catches him off guard for certain this time. "So you can see like..." You look around the cave and point at the wall, tapping it excitedly, "you can see all the different sediments?"

He nods softly and smiles as you get up close the the wall and inspect it. "That's crazy!" You exclaim as you fall back into the corner with eyes filled with curiosity.

By the time Hongjoong resurfaces, you and Yunho are cracking joke left and right as you share stories. He tells you how he pissed Hongjoong off by saying his stitching was uneven by half a millimeter and you tell him about the time you cut your brothers kite to win a bet that yours would fly longer. You're in the middle of laughing at the fact that a siren named Wooyoung is apparently very easy to distract despite fact that he has super-hearing when he sets the net down, catching the both of your attention.

"Joong!" You jump up, leaving the safety of the far corner with the blanket wrapped around you. He watches you, eyes filled with emotion as the nickname reaches his ears. "Did you find us something good?" He's almost as shocked as Yunho was when you cracked your first smile. But his happiness at the fact that you're already getting better overshadows it.

"Y-Yes, I got a species that you haven't tried before, I hope you like it~." He coos as you bend over the fire pit and begin working. There's no doubt in his mind that you'll be a good den-mother to the tribe. The only set back is that you don't have enough time to adjust as he'd like now that your body is processing his mark faster.

He smiles over Yunho, who smiles back. "I think I've probably over stayed my welcome," he speaks softly as he gathers up his things, "she's adjusting better than I could have imagined, as long as you keep her on track with treatments, she'll be ch- better in no time!"

"Ah no," you protest, peeking over your shoulder at the two as Yunho hands over a small bag of syringes, "won't you stay for supper?" Your puppy dog eyes are no match for a siren, and they simply chuckle at your antics.

"I don't think we're quite prepared for dinner guests, Precious," Hongjoong feels light headed as you turn your pout specifically to him.

"Soon?" Your begging eyes nearly have him giving into your every request, ready to force Yunho to stay for food just to see you smile once more. But he knows better.

"Soon, Love."

"Perfect!" You turn back to the fire, lighting it up quickly and tossing the blanket back to the nest. "Come help me then, I'm starving," your small giggle makes him fall to his knees and slide to you, quickly working to prep the fish.

Yunho looks on for a moment with a heavy heart. Once you found out the truth about your condition and treatment, you'd surely never smile at Hongjoong like you are now again.

He sets the bag of syringes down, praying that you never find out the truth about what's inside of them.

He dives into the water without another word and leaves the two of you alone in your temporary domestic bliss.

#ateez #kim hongjoong #hongjoong #yandere ateez #ateez hongjoong #yandere hongjoong #yandere fic #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader

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unityrain24 · 4 months

Text

anyways was thinking of a thor ragnarok rewrite last night as sleep refused to take me. obviously it can't be exactly like actual ragnarok bc marvel/mcu's norse stuff is..nothing like actual norse lore but i figured it could still have some more similarities than what the actual movie did.

(also if i were to rewrite the movie this isn't actually what id do, this was just. idk. what i was thinkin about as i was desperate to actually falll asleep).

anyways i figured this rewrite would actually work best if it rewrote the end of tdw first- loki gets stabbed by kruse and passes out for a while (rather than being able to pick himself back up in secret like what actually happened) and in that time odin senses that loki isn't dead and sends some guards to collect him. since loki technically broke the law *again* (committed treason, escaped jail, etc), he can enforce even more punishment, especially now that frigga is dead and she can't do anything about it. That, combined with some prophecy from midgard (or maybe asgard, idk) as an excuse added justifying reason, he sentences loki to the worst thing he can think up: to be bound against a rock with a snake dripping venom on him, his lips sewn shut so he can never lie again, forced to be in his jotun form, for all of eternity. In the deepest dungeon.

Thor obviously doesn't know about any of this, because he thinks loki dead.

so loki is taken, bound to a rock (idk if it's really work to have him bound with organs tho, since he doesn't have children in the mcu. maybe it's his..pet's? or maybe just chain. idk.), a snake coiled above him, seiðr bound, lips sewn shut, and his æsir form taken. He is completely alone, save the guards outside the chamber.

i don't really ship logyn in the mcu, (bc she doesn't exist in the mcu and their relationship feels to me like it would span for several centuries prior, so just randomly introducing her in one movie would seem strange to me), but i follow some people who do, so i wondered how i could incorporate that anyways, and make it not seem too strange.

Sigyn is one of the guards who has a shift guarding loki's chambers. She feels awful about it though, and eventually decides she has to do something to help. She ventures into the chamber and decides to catch the dripping venom with her helmet.

She also tries to cut the stitches from lokis lips, but when one string is cut, it doubles and repierces the skin, now twice the strength. She tries again, cutting them all at once this time (rather than individually), and grabs them all at once and pulls them out before they can multiply and repair themselves (luckily this time it works). She almost regrets it, though, as now she has to hear loki scream himself hoarse, and she can't do anything else to ease the pain.

she stays for several weeks/months/idk, holding the helmet above loki, having to empty it every so often. Perhaps she gets to know loki in this time, perhaps she doesn't. Perhaps she notices a certain brand on his shoulder, perhaps she does not. Perhaps she knew loki vaguely before, and now muses to herself what could have possibly changed him. Perhaps she didn't know him before, and doesn't muse. I don't know. But eventually she decides she needs to find and tell thor.

as hard as it is, she leaves loki to suffer alone (she tries to see if she can leave the helmet or fashion some contraption to make sure the poison cannot get in his eyes, but she cannot). After some searching and asking, she finds the mourning sullen prince thor and tells him what has occurred. Thor, now filled with joy, rage, guilt, horror, and sadness, breaks loki out with sigyn.

Loki is a mess. He has gone blind- whether temporarily or permanently is unknown- and has visible burns from the acid venom. His hairs a mess and his skin sweaty and thin. You can see his rib cage with how thin he's become. He wasn't allowed much clothes at the start of his punishment, but what few he had have been burned by the venom as well. He can't walk. He's barely conscious, and what little bit he is is just filled with delirium. They basically have to carry him.

They hide away from asgard (or at least the palace). And then ragnarok gets unleashed and they have to fix it etc and in the end they realize that it wasn't literally loki's being freed that incited ragnarok, but it was necessary for him to be freed so they could help stop/fix it/lessen the damage etc idk i was pretty tired at this point i wasn't thinking of details. anyways

idk if that made any sense lol but i'll tag the logyn people i follow/was thinking of

@therese-lokidottir @jonquilclegane @cosmic0artist

#did this make sense #is this anything #unityrain.txt #logyn #sigyn #mcu sigyn #loki #mcu loki #tr loki #ragnarok loki #thor ragnarok #thor ragnarok criticism #fic #fanfic #fic idea #movie rewrite #thor ragnarok rewrite

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 2 months

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OH MY GOD I have a delicious angst idea concerning Immortal! FL and Soulmate AU (technically hurt comfort so even better)

Long after Legacy's soulmate has passed away, he still stares at the faded name written across his arm, longing for someone that cannot come back to him.

So when another name randomly pops up, centuries after his soulmate's death, he is livid at celestia. Are they trying to console an unholy creature plagued with immortality by giving him another soulmate? Really? It seems like a cruel joke. It seems like celestia is taunting him, giving him a stranger to replace the love of his life, like giving a kid a toy to distract them from throwing a tantrum. He doesn't like that. Oh, he doesn't like that, deep within grief even after so long.

So he isolates himself, deep within a place no mortal can reach. He never seeks them out. Not that name, nor the second, nor the following that pop up whenever the most recent one has turned gray and faded. He stares at his body, littered with names long gone unreadable under his armor, and he curses celestia.

It takes him a long time to realise that each name marked on his body is a reincarnation of his soulmate, endlessly searching for the same name written in abyssal script, seeking the figure that appears every time they close their eyes. It isn't until the nth reincarnation that they manage to venture into the abyss themselves without perishing.

And he finds the same face before him, vividly awakening memories he has stewed in by himself for nearly a millennium.

(Does he try to attack them, blinded by grief and rage at celestia still, thinking its another way to mock him? Does he stagger backwards, horrified with himself when you call out his name again in that same frightened tone usually reserved for fear? Does he cry out, cradling your injured body, trying to undo what he has done? Do they perish once again by his hand or do they survive?)

ohhhghghhh you are EVIL for doing this to me. EVIL!!!!! but i loooooove it >:)

there's been a hole in your heart ever since you were born. that's not to say that you couldn't love- you can and will, with great effect; you adore all your friends and take great joy in making them happy. but there's this constant feeling of emptiness in your chest, like you lost something precious ages ago; it never goes away no matter what you do, and that's not even mentioning the name of your supposed soulmate on your arm, written in a language no one has seen and faded gray as dust. you've taken to covering it up when you're out and about, sick of the strangers who tut and give you pitying looks or suddenly begin spouting love advice when you've never even spoken to them. it's a nuisance- a painful, hollow nuisance of impossibility

your soulmate's name has done one good thing for you, though- driven your interest in lost languages and ruins, of the civilizations that came before. some folks tell you to stay away from such topics, that the knowledge was lost for a reason, and that it's really none of your business... but you've never been the type to leave a mystery unsolved. using the name scrawled across your arm as a reference, you find yourself venturing down, down, down, until you finally take the leap and descend beneath Teyvat. it becomes more and more difficult to breathe the deeper you go, the cold stars that appear on the cliffs and rock doing nothing to light your way in the slightest

you can barely even inhale, letting out a few dry coughs as you press your back against the wall, vision blurry. your senses flicker and break like glass- a rumbling growl, a flash of silver, and a sudden, high-pitched shriek- before everything goes black

it's the bright, shining sun that wakes you up, only to quickly squeeze your eyes shut again when you're blinded by its light. you're in a cave- a cave on the surface of Teyvat, and you can breathe again. your chest still aches and your limbs are still heavy, but at least your lungs are clear of whatever miasma that settled there. you hear a soft trill and tilt your head, letting out an alarmed squeak when you come face-to-face with a monster. it's from the Abyss, no doubt, an intimidating figure of armor and claws and twin horns, crimson and pointed... yet you don't feel afraid. after the momentary surprise leaves you, the creature feels almost familiar, hunching in on itself with quiet whines and chirps. slowly you reach out a hand, then stop as something flashes on your skin. your soulmate's name, one gray and faded, now shines a brilliant silver like the stars themselves

the beast beside you lets out a chitter when it sees the name, scooting closer and holding out its own arm, and there- there! written in elegant script, in the same silver shade, is your own name, glowing on top of countless other old scribbles that you can't even read

you look up at the monster, meeting its crystalline gaze, and your heart finally feels whole

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27thfirefly · 29 days

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hi. i just read the last chapter of your fic went blind last year and HOLY FUCK it is so good. i get it if you don’t want to like spoil things about your fic but i have many many questions and thoughts so im just gonna write a bunch of them.

the whole thing with like. dirk tapping into ultimate dirk and part of canon and then being shoved out? and then kind of realizing that he is a small part of something very big and wanting to be a bigger part of it, and then getting orange eyes representing a stronger connection to dirk-ness? fascinating. and is daves eyes turning red then symbolic of him becoming closer to dave-ness? and speaking of that- dante??? great character, very interesting. is he like somehow a version of dave? and what was he talking about on the swings? is he also in some sort of a loop? and what was it that dirk did at the end of chapter four? he did something with the sword, right, did he make dante decapitate him and then somehow come back to life?

and hal. and cal! holy shit, i can’t believe it but you kind of made me LIKE cal somehow? in the sense that he can be violent and outrageous and insane and vengeful when dirk can’t and its kind of cathartic.

its interesting to see where things stay the same as in canon and where they dont. like dave has chat logs with rose in 2014 and 2015? but hes only fourteen. so he’s technically both older and younger than he is at the beginning of homestuck. and dirk was like 13 in 1997, which is about when daves meteor should have dropped? but did they come with the meteors at all, in this world? dirk came with lil cal on his meteor in canon, but here he got him when he was 12. but dave still seems to be somewhat in touch with his time powers, and dirk with his heart powers, so some things carried over from the game?

god. this is all so fascinating and good. i will be probably rereading the fic and eating drywall until a new chapter comes out. you are an amazing writer.

wahhh thank you very much! for what it's worth i too have been thinking a lot about went blind last year. glances at the +50k word txt document of story notes and wip chapters. so i do love getting to talk about it even if working on it is very slow at the moment! i will put this under a readmore cos i got carried away but

there's a lot of things i don't want to spoil yet yes... but i think i've laid enough of the groundwork that these things won't feel terribly out of place within the story.

one thing i do feel comfortable in divulging is that any connections to canon are deliberately tenuous... how far can a character diverge from canon while still being understood as fitting the mold for that character? when a character is deliberately obscured, how much does fanon interpretation impact what feels in-character?

when you read fanfiction or fancomics or whatever kind of work about a specific character, your mind creates a superposition of the character as they exist in the original work and the character as they exist in the fanwork. as long as the "shape" of the character in the fanwork doesn't stick out too much from your perception of the canon "shape", you can accept that character--as written by someone else--as the same as in canon. some of the choices i have made are deliberately contradictory to the text of homestuck the webcomic. i have made these choices in order to tell the story i want to tell. even so, the basis for the characters in wbly are understood to be the same as in homestuck, creating an expectation for what these characters will act like, what their baseline is, and how you as a reader approach them. your feelings about cal changing within the context of wbly is an interesting case of this in my mind--the cal within wbly is presumably still close enough to canon that you can call it the same character, but the role of cal is changed enough that your impression of him is changed. that kind of thing is FASCINATING to me.

the reason wbly would not work as an independent work is the same as why the homestuck epilogues do not work without the pre-existing fandom of homestuck: there need to be expectations for these characters and relationships in order for me to challenge those expectations.

another thing i will divulge is that went blind last year is not the full title of the story in my mind--i won't tell the full one, but it does tie into just about every conflict in the story.

thank you again for reading my overly complicated fanfic! hopefully you'll stick around even if it'll take me a lot longer than expected to complete. if not, that's fine too.

also every time i send updates to my friend i get lamentations so you know stuffs going great

#dirteater69 #ive been reading umineko and its seeping into my vocabulary and way of talking #but to be fair if you read wbly i think you should already be primed for the amount of bullshit i can spew #I HAVE MOST OF THIS FIC PLANNED OUT I JUST NEED TO GET IT DOWN...#this answered nothing but how i think about this work #which might be interesting! i spose #if you dont already know me that well lol #kris.txt #wbly

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oceanlipgloss · 4 months

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4.1.2023

I just finished Chapter 2. The ending was sad. The angels are brimming with hatred and blinded by it, so what they're doing is very unfair and inhumane.

But I also feel very excited to move on to Chapter 3, and Mammon is on the cover(?) of it so it's definite that MC will meet him now. I'm really looking forward to that and to meeting Bimet and Eligos, hopefully! Then again, MC didn't meet Astaroth even though he's from Gehenna, so it would make sense that she wouldn't meet all of Mammon's demons now too, which means that if she were to meet someone now, it should, by logic, be Bimet because he's the closest to Mammon. Time to see!

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro: something I really loved about the end of Chapter 2 was the display of Satan's kindness—he loves his subjects and cares for them, and is sad when they get hurt. I also really appreciated MC's care for him and her desire to comfort him. And Ppyong needs so many hugs.

update I: Minhyeok is so sweet <3 also, he and MC are really cute together and dammit the H-scene is so far off sob I wonder who it's gonna be this time

update II: these bouncing angels that look like buns: wow guys, you're fast but it's time to meet the Lord, baby

update III: oooooh this one is called 'the man sculpted from muscle,' so is it time to meet Mammon already? I'm so excited omfg

update IV: everyone else is asleep, meanwhile Satan is just

update V: YAYYYY HIYA but oh my he's so big HUGE and idk how to put it but there's this sweetness to his face. He's so cute lol and he looks like he would be great to hug

update VI: LMFAO Tbh I'd love to do that too ngl

update VII: UHHH??? I kinda like how warm and comfy this sounds and wow, he really said I'll be your bed simply glorious! Anyways, Mammon is making moves already, so wake up and get yo girl, Satan

update VIII: a somewhat strange thing to point out, unless it irks him (which doesn't quite make sense since he doesn't know her yet. But! If he felt attracted to her once he first saw her, that changes things a lot)

update IX: I'm going to guess that it DOES bother him

update X: ooff he's cool, he's cool <3

update XI: no comment true love can never be hidden, and he is passionate about butts, so he couldn't resist, I guess... But what actually piqued my interest is the fact that his hands are bigger than any other hands MC has seen because I love hands

update XII: so first I chose to make MC grab his butt so I can see how he reacts, but dude the description was hilarious to say the least lmao Mammon has a squishy soft butt spread the word then I chose the 'lie back down on his chest' option because it's cute dammit needless to say, things got...interesting either way

update XIII: Satan is asleep so he's technically not seeing anything, but MC getting frisky with Mammon in front of Satan's open eyes...I'm just happy he wasn't awake to see this

update XIV: okay that's actually romantic in a greedy sort of way

update XV: he seems to be optimistic but sentimental, and pretty attached to his emotions too. CUTEEE ugh

update XVI: YEAH MAMMON IN YOUR DREAMS (thank u tho, i like u)

update XVII: Ppyong and Minhyeok have the cutest dynamic plssss also Minhyeok deserves more love from MC when possible

update XVIII: I thought Minhyeok was going to use his horn in class and almost died but let's be honest, I WAS going to enjoy how awkward and hard difficult it would've been for him to keep quiet lmao sadism anyways, did he just say that MC's underwear smells nice? Listen, bro...

update XIX: boys will be boys

update XX: AAAAAAAAAAARGH I LOVE HIM

update XXI: oh god I can't deal with this it's too cute LOOK AT PPYONG PLEASE LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO SMOL AND EXCITED AND HAPPY and look at Minhyeok noooo this is too precious

update XXII: Ppyong is rooting for MC and Minhyeok oh man that's it I'm gonna die of fluff overdose and I will love every minute of it

update XXIII: Minhyeok being doubtful and unsure of himself because he thinks that MC is seeing much better things in Hell which he would seem 'ordinary' next to, and Ppyong comforting him and telling him he's beautiful and 'devilish' aka code for 'good' was an arrow to my heart

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

5.1.2024

update XXIV: it was mentioned earlier that MC beginning to see Minhyeok as a man and not just her childhood friend would have effects, so this is the beginning of it, I guess: Satan and Sitri are jealous and irritated

update XXV: lmaooo be fair, Mammon. Anyone other than Glasyalabolas would look small next to you Satan would look even smaller tho, I agree

update XXVI: okay, I really, really like Mammon. He has a very pleasant and chill personality, and he too seems to have gotten attracted to MC before he got to know for sure that she's Sulumun's dootah Solomon's descendant? That's so nice to know

update XXVII: oh my fucking—it's decided. I LOVE Bimet. He doesn't even bother to be convincing oh my God LMAO or maybe he thinks he IS being convincing or that others are idiots who would fall for it anyway I'm so happy he got introduced so early though, I was waiting for that moment lol I really liked him the moment I read his intro *looks at Belial, Eligos, Beel, Ronové, Lucifer, Glasyalabolas, Gusion, Bathin and Andrealphus* did I forget anyone?

update XXVIII: THE H-SCENE IS SO CLOSE ALREADY WTF OMG YAAAS WHO'S IT GONNA BE I have my bets on Paimon because I don't think it's logical for Mammon's to happen yet also let's hope I can pass the one battle that leads to it because this has been suspiciously easy (edit: I passed. Still suspiciously easy. It's coming for me, isn't it?)

update XXIX: no bro, I fucking ADORE him

update XXX (oooh would you look at that, an xxx): it's sweet how Bimet got emotional when he thought MC was Solomon, and it's funny that he was then like 'get lost if you don't have money, especially if you're not Solomon' lmao he's a riot

update XXXI: sexy move, hon And excuse me for my poor wording, Bimet, but don't you look scrumptious! That tongue

update XXXII: aw he sounds annoyed but he also seems like he's going to cry. I wanted to include a screenshot, but no more images fit. The heck though, I love him to bits. So, without further ado, welcome to my favourite characters club, Bimet!

But damn it, I also really liked when he told MC that she's a beggar that listens to reason. That screenshot deserved a spot in here too lol

Next up, THE H-SCENEEEEE!

#what in “hell” is bad #what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad diaries #Whb #whb mammon #what in hell is bad bimet #whb bimet

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olliandre · 3 months

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10 TOP RANKED THAI BL ON MYDRAMALIST

+my opinion, since I’ve watched all of them for this post

1. I Feel You Linger in the Air (8,9/10)

DESCRIPTION: Jom is an architect responsible for the renovation of a historic house alongside the Ping River. There he discovers a wooden chest packed with old drawings, drawings that look strangely familiar. The contents are intriguing. However, Jom doesn't have time to concern himself with them; he has plans to reunite with his boyfriend. For years, Jom has been counting the days till his boyfriend would return from his far away studies, only to find him engaged to someone else on his return. Heartbroken, Jom comes to a place of acceptance as he mistakenly runs his car into the river. In the cold darkness, Jom catches the sweet scent of fresh frangipani flowers coming from the stream and in the distance, he can make out a deep, gentle voice pronouncing clearly, "Pho Jom."

MY TAKE: Well deserved first place. It’s the best Thai drama I’ve ever seen and I really hope we’ll get more like this one in the future. Everything was on point - the costumes, the acting, the cinematography. The relationship between the main characters felt real and absolutely believe, especially thanks to P’Bright (Khun Yai), who delievered everything well through his eyes. The story made me emotional to the point I cried like a baby at the end, which didn’t happen for a really long time. To be honest, I could rewatch this series without ever getting bored because of how unique and heartwarming it was. If I were to criticise anything, I’d choose the fact that Jom seemed quite bland during the first few episodes and also the way Khun Yai wasn’t cautious at all with their relationship despite living around the 1920s. However, it can be explained by some things from the novel, which I’m considering to write a post about. Aside from the romance plot, IFYLITA discussed the topic of women’s opression and offered a lesbian sub-plot that made the story even better. I recommend everyone to watch it, it’s ridiculous how little recognition the series got from the BL fandom!

2. The Sign (8,6/10)

DESCRIPTION: For as long as Tharn can remember, he's had premonitions about those around him, sensing both the good and the bad. Partners on a team of special investigators, when kind and cheerful Tharn met clever and charming Phaya, it felt as though they'd known each other for a long time.

MY TAKE: Another gem showing that the industry is slowly heading to a new, better direction. The plot contains lots of action scenes, investigations and Thai mythology elements, which I don’t think have been used in any series before, at least not in a well known one. I’m a sucker for reinarnation and soulmates motives, I wish Tharn and Phaya believed in each other more though. It was frustrating to see them fight so much. Some of the comedy scenes made me cringe, too. Still, the story was solid and engaging, especially thanks to Tharn and Phaya’s relationship complexity. During some scenes CGI was used and I have to admit they must have spent some budget on it. It’s the third Idolfactory’s drama and they definitely get better with every project. More series like The Sign!

3. Last Twilight (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: Burdened with heavy debt, Mhok, a technical college student, applies for a high-paying job as a caregiver to Day, a badminton player with partial blindness due to infectious keratitis. Day hires Mhok who—unlike other applicants—seems to take no pity on him. With so much time spent in each others' company, the two develop a deep bond. When Day learns he'll have approximately 90 days until he loses what vision he has remaining, how will the two weather the trials ahead?

MY TAKE: I’m gonna be honest, I fell in love with Last Twilight very quickly. The acting was top-notch - I think P’Sea portrayed a blind character really well despite having vision and P’Jimmy… P’Jimmy was just on another level of greatness. Just like P’Bright, his eyes told everything. Every emotion could be seen clearly and he efortlessly made Mhok the viewer’s favourite. Mhok itself was a mature, selfless person, but with Jimmy’s portrayal I think it’s even harder not to love him, not be enchanted by him. I found the story heartwarming and moving, beautifully culminating in the last scene of the 9th episode. At that moment I’ve felt that both Day and Mhok’s journey found some sort of an ending, maybe terribly sad, but also with some sweetness in it. Throughout the whole series it was Mhok teaching Day how to live again after losing his sight and encouraging him to stand on his own legs again. In the 9th episode though it seemed like the dynamic shifted somehow, showing that Day reached some maturity that Mhok haven’t had yet, and that he could help him with his grief too. The whole message of Last Twilight was delivered fully then. However, what happened later completely ruined it. I understand that P’Aof wanted LT to be realistic and because of that he decided to face the fact that Mhok can’t be Day’s caretaker forever. But all of this was handled poorly, seemed rushed especially after 11 episode and I couldn’t bear to watch one of my favourite series trashing itself. After that it was also imposible to ignore the issues I had with Mhok and Day’s relationship anymore, especially the August plot. I hated how although Day showed huge interest in Mhok on the beginning, he suddenly revealed his crush on other boy and he seemed really bothered by Mhok’s confession, too. What a mess. Porjai and Night’s subplot was great though, I liked both the characters and their relationship. I recommend everyone to just watch episodes 1-9 despite some disappointments on the way.

4. Not Me (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: Black and White are twins with a powerful connection. After their parents' separation, though, White’s father took him abroad, and their family effectively severed in two. It isn’t until fifteen years have passed that White—now grown—returns to Thailand. One day, seemingly from nowhere, White feels an agony like death. He recovers in the hospital, but they’re unable to determine the cause. Then he picks up a call from a childhood friend, Tod. Tod tells him that Black is in a coma following a vicious attack, and he learns that Black is in a motorcycle gang. Unable to endure the harm done to his brother in silence, and suspecting it was one of Black’s close friends—Sean, Gram, or Yok—who betrayed him, White disguises himself as Black to root out the traitor. But White doesn’t know his brother as well as he thought; he’s not behaving like the Black Sean knows, distrustful and uncaring about the feelings of others. Sean's suspicious. The difference gets under Sean's skin and makes him feel things he shouldn’t.

MY TAKE: I’ve actually first started watching Not Me around the time it was coming out, but I became bored around the half of it, so I’ve seen the rest of the episodes just recently. It’s refreshing to receive a politics and society problems oriented BL, this series without doubt was mature and one of a kind. Not Me took on many issues the modern Thailand still faces, struggling with democracy, human rights and equality. The relationship between White and Sean was another difficult thing here with its complexity, as they faced their opposite ideas for making a change - Sean being more reckless and hotheaded, while White more rational and fragile mentally. They went through many stages and although they were allies, it’d call it an enemies to lovers dynamic. I felt connected to both of them - to White because I agreed with his methods more and to Sean because of his abandonment issues. What they had was not pretty, no, it was raw and even rough at times, however, they managed to build mutual trust and the ending was satisfying. Definitely recommend!

5. A Tale of Thousand Stars (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: After a volunteer teacher Torfun dies in a tragic accident, her heart is transplanted into Tian. Tian learns about his donor’s life through a series of diary entries that reveal her secrets and interests. Included is her promise to count a thousand stars with Chief Forest Officer Phupha. Tian decides to follow in Torfun's footsteps and fulfill her promise. Now a new volunteer teacher himself, Tian attempts to befriend Phupha who initially gives him the cold shoulder. As the two grow steadily closer, Tian notices his new heart beats quickly whenever he's near the officer. Much like the heart’s previous owner, Tian cannot help but fall for Phupha. Treading on dangerous ground, can he still go through with the thousand-star promise?

MY TAKE: It’s such a classic that I don’t know if there’s anyone who hasn’t heard of it yet, but let’s proceed! 1000 stars for years took a special place in my heart, as it was one of few good Thai BL during the time it came out. I loved the rural atmosphere of Pha Pun Dao and the process of Tian adapting to life in the village. The story was slow, warm and sort of pure, although the tension and chemistry were there. Big kudos for the scene in which Tian came to the conclusion that his feelings for Phupha mean he likes men, since that wasn’t a standard in the „I don’t like men, I only like you” era. Another thing is, P’Mix (Tian), who was a rookie back then, played his role so well that I would never suspect it’s his first time acting! Recommend for anyone seeking comfort, even if it gets sad by the end.

6. My School President (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: Student body president Tinn has a secret crush on Gun, the head of the music club and lead singer of the middling band Chinzhilla. The son of the principal, Tinn is instructed to axe any clubs that don't boost their school's reputation. The music club tops that list and Tinn is therefore Gun's number one enemy. Desperate to save his club, Gun will do anything, even pledge servitude to Tinn. When Tinn learns Chinzhilla has a rule that band members aren't permitted to date until they win the Hot Wave Music Contest, he vows to do whatever it takes to help them do just that.

MY TAKE: At first the fact that the story takes place in a high school setting put me off, as I prefer watching young adult stories, but I gave it a shot because of the good reviews. And after watching it I can say it was definitely worth it. My School President is a silly rom-com that delicately touches some more serious issues. Nevertheless, it was a light watch. N'Gemini and N'Fourth delievered an excellent performance, accurately and realistically portraying the main couple. Maybe it’s because they are just slightly older than the characters, so it was easier for them to understand them. I also still listen to MSP soundtracks. Aside from being simply good pieces of music, they make me feel positive and refreshed everytime I hear them. It’s like an energizer.

7. Bad Buddy (8,4/10)

DESCRIPTION: Ever since they were young, Pran and Pat's families had a deep and raging rivalry, trying to one-up each other on everything. This also extended to their sons. Comparing their sons' achievements and merits,—whether it be academic or extracurricular—the two families leave no stone unturned to outshine and gloat in front of the other. The rivalry was passed down as a family heirloom and the two boys become rivals in turn. Until... they grow tired and become friends. Really good friends. However, because of their families' rivalry, their friendship has to be kept under wraps. And so began a journey of secret friendship... and then perhaps a secret romance?

MY TAKE: This is another series I’ve dropped in half and picked up just recently. Although the entire enemies since birth plot seemed a little bit Wattpad-ish to me, I’ve still enjoyed Bad Buddy a lot. The relationship of Pat and Pran was fun and realistic, they also had good chemistry together, probably due to the actor’s long-lasting frienship. There was something about them that just seemed so natural. Big plus for verse rights and lesbian sub-plot. The only thing I’m not content with was that instead of working things through with their families, the scriptwriters decided to just make Pat and Pran lie and avoid the topic. It could have been handled in a better way.

8. Moonlight Chicken (8,3/10)

DESCRIPTION: Jim is an ordinary guy running a Hainanese chicken rice diner. One night, he meets breezy Wen when he stays past closing drunk. Brought together by fate that night, intangible feelings arise. Neither can stop thinking about the other despite Jim's efforts to remain unattached. Working at the diner are Jim's nephew Li Ming, Saleng, and occasionally chicken supplier Kaipa who doesn't mind having an excuse to see him.

MY TAKE: I’m a Chinese learner and liked P’Earth and P’Mix’s performance in 1000 stars a lot, so I was looking forward for Moonlight Chicken to come out. The relationship between Jim and Wen disappointed me a bit, as it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. They started off from a one night stand and Jim was doing everything he could to keep things this way, with Wen persistently trying to change his mind. I’m still happy though, because the series maturely portrayed real life problems of Thai people. Jim, as an adult, was a person tied by chores and responsibilities of a restaurant owner and legal guardian for his teenager nephew. It’s understandable for him to take more things than just his feelings into consideration, especially since he was older than Wen. The problems between them made the series even more realistic, but N’Gemini (Heart) and N’Fourth (Li Ming) undoubtebly stole this show from the main couple. Not good for people wanting to watch something romantic and fluffy, nevertheless, still good.

9. Triage (8,3/10)

DESCRIPTION: Third-year emergency medicine resident Tin has to cope with a deluge of different patients every day. Up until the eighteenth, that is. Tin's life is transformed when university student Tol's car is overturned, and he's rushed to the emergency room in serious condition. That night doesn't end when Tin fails to save Tol's life, though. When Tin next wakes, he finds himself in a time loop, a loop he won't be able to leave until he's altered Tol's fate.

MY TAKE: Triage was a slowburn and it took quite a few episodes for the main couple to start developing feelings, as the time loops didn’t help in building any kind of closeness. They had good chemistry though and I really liked the performance of every actor in this series. Also! The! Plot! It was truly a masterpiece. It turned out that Triage novel is another work of Manner of Death’s author and that those two are actually connected. Doctor Bun and Tan appear in one episode of Triage and if MoD season 2 actually happens, it will be a continuation of the mystery after Triage’s ending. About the ending itself, it wasn’t satisfying. Also, why do I feel like they got some inspiration from the movie Bruce Almighty?

10. To Sir, With Love (8,3/10)

DESCRIPTION: The Five Dragon Guild is under the leadership of Jao Sua Song. He's skilled and in control in business, but things in the family have become chaotic. By his main wife Li, he has his eldest son Thian. He has a secondary wife Jan with whom he has a son named Yang and he has a mistress named Bua. In a Chinese family, masculinity is prized. Thian is the face of the family, the one who will eventually succeed Song, who will carry the power his father has built. Khun Chai is not a position just anyone is suited to. The love between two men is obstructed by Chinese society.

MY TAKE: Everthing was good here - the acting, the costumes, the setting... a high quality series indeed. I especially loved brotherly bond between Tian and Yang, as it was the purest and the most wholesome thing in this drama. The murder plot was interesting too. However, all of this was simply too prolonged. Because everyone for 17 1-hour episodes straight was running around and trying to find that Tian’s homosexual, they may as well just name the series Tian’s secret. I got sick of it around 9th episode and there were still 8 more. It’s a pity that it completely ruined To Sir, With Love for me. Tian and Jiu, the main couple, didn’t receive many screentime, so it was quite unsatisfying too.

[there will be a link to 11-15 in the future]

#thai bl #last twilight #bad buddy #moonlight chicken #to sir with love #i feel you linger in the air #my school president #triage #a tale of thousand stars #the sign bl #not me the series #bl recommendation #mypost

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grippingbeskar · 2 years

Text

The Element of Surprise | Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen: The Family

mando x fem!reader

series masterlist here

word count: 6.3k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (mxf sexual intercourse, general sexual content) swearing, mentions of death, canon typical violence

a/n: holy fuck. the last chapter?? there WILL be an epilouge!!! but i will put a longer note at the end. just enjoy xx

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“Don’t wake her.” The metallic voice standing over you says lowly. You only hear it because the vibration of his words hums against the right side of your body. His arms, strong and sure, cradle you in to his chest, and you try to focus on the steady intake of oxygen and match it to your own.

You keep your eyes closed. Even that, the effort to keep the blinding light out of your direct vision is almost too much. Your body feels exhausted - like you had just ran a marathon. Its been a while since you had to walk that much.

Your head was the worst.

Whatever pain flares in your arms, spiralling down your legs making you grateful you dont have to try to stand on them - all that doesn't compare to the exhaustion in your mind. You pushed too hard - you knew you didn’t have the training to take on someone as powerful as her. But it worked, and you were safe.

You think.

Actually, you know. You know because of the way his hands aren’t caging you to his body like they were when he carried you out of the bunker. Instead, they are placed gently, holding you in places that aren’t technically strategic, but boy does it feel nice. You know you’re safe because he is walking, both hands occupied keeping you close to him, and the familiar rusty smell of the Razor Crest fills your senses.

You know you’ve stepped inside because the sun disappears, and you know the ramp closes behind you, because you can hear the classic ‘clunk’ of the locks going into place. You should oil them. Tomorrow, maybe.

You think your brain might explode, attempting to shove one last thought in there. One more thing to remember, to comprehend. Its nauseating, having to think so much. You must fidget, or tense against him, because you hear that voice again, soothing you with just two words.

“Rest, cyar’ika.” It’s almost like he’s controlling you. Its so easy just to listen to him, not having to think or move on your own. You feel yourself going upwards, and a few moments pass before you are sinking into a bed. Your bed. It feels so right - like coming home after a long trip, filled with everything you’ve been missing. Everything thats your own.

Din reaches down and you feel his hand, a real hand, brush across your face. Just once, and then you hear the distant footsteps leaving the room and the engine hums to life. You want to follow him. Tο make up for lost time. There is so much you want to do, so much to consider.

But he told you to rest.

So you do.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was dark again.

When your eyes finally crack open, you prepare yourself for the inevitable rush of heat you still bare the evidence of in the form of warmth spreading across your nose and cheeks. It doesn’t come, though. Instead, you are greeted with a shadowed calm.

Your room.

You move your toes first, and when you know the feeling has come back you stretch out. You forgot how comfortable this bed is - though its missing a vital piece.

Where is he?

You can count on one hand how many times you’ve woken up here without him lying next to you. You don’t like how big it feels. You shiver despite the copious amount of blankets wrapped around you, adjusting to the absence.

The exhaustion had nearly been wiped clean. You didn’t feel sore, it was like you just needed to be re-set. Your head wasn’t slamming, and when you tested yourself, you could easily pick up on the life buzzing around you through the Force. It felt like someone was returning oxygen to your lungs when you reached out, the knowledge that it was still there and strong as ever, even after the events of yesterday. Was it yesterday? Everything feels so fresh, yet so far away wrapped in this room.

Your mother was dead. You knew this, and you should be sad. You couldn’t feel it though, the overwhelming crush that you experienced when you knew your father was gone forever. It took you years to just think of him without bursting into tears. But this was different.

That person you saw in the bunker, that wasn’t your mother anymore. It wasn’t the woman you had grown to respect, to associate with your childhood. She had died the day you left too, just in a different way. Her, the idea of having a mother that loved you, that cared for you and your father died as soon as she made that order.

It could be that it didn’t hit you yet, that the pain would come later when you realised you would never get that back. The thing you had been searching for, yearning to get back to all this time would never be yours again. You sat up in the cot, the blankets falling off your shoulders and you look down. You had changed - but that wasn’t what surprised you.

It was the pants you were wearing.

You remembered these pants. You made them. A few months ago, when that one decision to investigate a new looking ship on Tatooine took you on a whirlwind of adventures you never would have dreamed. You didn’t have any clothes, and the Mandalorian had locked his stowaway downstairs, so you had to get crafty. Using a pair of old pants and some ties you made the pants fit, and even took them out on a foreign planet. They were actually quite comfortable.

Din must have changed you. These pants, plus the undershirt that smelled inexplicably like him; he had put you in them. The mere idea of him snapped you of any thoughts of the past and pushed you to your feet, the door opening as soon as you stand in front of it. You moved as fast as you could, a small part of you worried that he was just a figment of your imagination, but when the door to the cockpit opened and he spun around, you could have dropped to your knees at the sight of him.

He moved too fast for you to react, for you to even say anything before he was in front of you, gloved hands holding you in place. You let him, wordlessly admiring the sight as he dropped his helmet in search of something. Probably injuries, scanning your body to assess damage.

“You’re really here.” You whisper, breaking the silence. One of his hands comes up from your arm, and brushes your hair over your ear. He holds your face, like he’s not really sure what to do. His touch is tentative, as if holding something breakable.

“You should rest.”

“I did.” You can almost see him roll his eyes through the helmet.

“More. You should rest more.” You step into him, pressing yourself closer. He keeps his hold on your face.

“I don’t want to. I want...” You feel him take a deep breath in. “To talk to you.”

“Okay.” He lets his hands drop from your face to your hands, and he leads you to the co pilots chair, letting you fall softly back into it.

He takes his seat across from you and flicks the switches to set the ship into auto-pilot, then turns to face you.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“When you left; that morning.” You can’t tell exactly how long its been, the dark galaxy outside the front of the ship making it impossible to tell the time. “Did you know it was my mother?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I felt something, when you were leaving. You were nervous. You’re never nervous.” He shifts on his chair, and you reach out. That same unfamiliar feeling washes over you. You’ve seen him a bit out of his comfort zone, but when it came to quarry's, to chasing bounty after bounty, he was anything but nervous. He was almost bored with how comfortable he was.

“I was.” His arms come to rest on either side of him, and he leans back, spreading wider across the chair.

“But not because you knew?”

“Not because I knew.” He’s telling the truth.

“Okay.” You decide to let it rest - clearly whatever was nagging at him was not of immediate concern, although the way he shifts on his chair when you mention it makes you go quiet.

“What else? I know you aren’t done.” You look down to hide your smile, and you have to resist leaping out of your chair and straddling him. You should get your head on straight - you were meant to be angry at him.

“You told me we weren’t going after those guys. When Karga gave you that tracking fob, you said it was a trick. A trap that he had set up, and you told me I was an idiot for even suggesting we follow it.”

“I never called you an idiot.”

“Semantics. Why did you go without me?” He sighs, and leans forward, forearms leaning on his thighs.

“Because, I wanted to end this for you. I wanted to - help you. To help you find peace, like you had done for me.” Your face softens, and you forgot. Angry - you were meant to be angry right? He did lie to you, after all. You let him see your encouraging smile, though, and he continues. “I knew it was weighing on you. With how scared you were on Ryloth - I didn’t want to see you scared again. Those guys she - your mother was working with are... rough. The guy on the puck was known for his creativity in killing Jedi. They were bad men. I just didn’t want you tied up in it, and between you and the kid I thought it was safer if I...”

“Did it without us.” You finished for him, and he just nodded.

“What I didn’t know was not telling you ended up putting you in more danger. I didn’t - I will never forgiv-”

“Hey. That part is not your fault, okay? None of this is.”

“I left you there. They would have killed you.”

“They didn’t get the chance. I have you and the kid to thank for that.” His head tilts to the side. “Without the training I’ve been doing with Grogu I never would have made it, and you. You were what gave me the courage.”

“Courage? To do what?”

“Believe in myself.” You say meaningfully. “And to jump out the window.”

“You what?”

“Well, I couldn’t exactly take the stairs, could I?” He leans forward a little more. “I’ll tell you about it later, but I understand why you did it. You wanted to protect us.”

“I did.”

“I can protect myself now. You - you showed me that I can.”

“I know you can. It doesn’t make me want to stop. I will always do whatever I can to protect you, even if you don’t need me to.” The words bloom in your chest, and the zero gravity adjuster in the ship seems to stop working because you are almost sure you are floating.

“You have to tell me these things. When I couldn’t find you... imagine if I did something like that to you.” That analogy seems to make him understand, and he nods slowly. “Next time you go on some vigilante mission in my honour, at least let me know, okay?”

He breaths a laugh, and the tension building from the conversation dissipates a little.

“Okay, I will tell you.” You can’t stand it anymore, you get up and take two steps, suddenly appearing between his legs. He straightens on instinct, hands coming to the back of your thighs as he widens his own, pulling you into the small space. You linked your hands on the back of his helmet and he looks up at you.

“You said was.” Again, he tilts his head, only slightly so as to not pull away from your hold. “When you were talking about the bounty, and those guys my - she was working with, you said ‘was’. Im assuming that means they are…”

“Dead.” You let out a sigh of relief. Good, you think, they got what was coming to them. You only wished you could of seen it for yourself. “The troopers though, there were too many. I had to blend in, and when I heard them talking about the girl they had caught on the borders of the city, a girl with a connection to their commanding officer, I put two and two together.”

“Thats why you were in that awful suit when you found me.” He looked too big to be a trooper, walked with too much autonomy. You could tell there was something off as soon as he stepped in the room.

His hands start to trail lines up the back of your thighs, and it reminds you of the pants.

“Why did you put me in these pants?” He laughs again, and you want to capture the sound. You missed him, Maker did you miss this.

“I like you in my clothes.” He murmurs distractedly, too focused on how his hands start to rise higher, just below your ass. You squeak as he pulls you into him, knees buckling and slotting on the outside of his own.

“I look ridiculous.” You say but its lost in a needy moan as he squeezes your ass, making your back arch and chest push into him. Every little bit of anger and confusion melts away at his touch, and you sink down onto him, Din taking your weight easily on top of him.

His hands work diligently, moving from your ass up to your lower back, massaging your sore muscles. Every circle and push has you whining and breathing in ecstasy and you struggled to keep yourself still in his grip. You lose the battle, obviously. You would alway lose that battle, but it was one you were happy to forfeit.

You move against him, and hear a hum of approval. A pit in your stomach that had been dormant for far too long makes itself known and you rock your hips again, aching for the sound. Instead, his hands come to your hips, and stop you.

“You should be resting. You-” You try to move in his hands, and he groans, letting his head fall against your own, the helmet a welcome cool rush. “You - need time to - to process everything that just-”

“I don’t want to process.” You say, nearly mocking him. Not quite though. Maybe he had a point, but right now you had never felt more awake, and with every slight movement of your hips you were becoming more and more in tune with you body. Awake. Alive.

“You aren’t - Gar Kelir ruin ni, ner kar'taylir darasuum.” (you will ruin me, my love) He groans again, and you force him to look at you through the helmet.

“I am thinking. I am not tired. I don’t want to process shit.” The words are straightforward but you press kisses to his helmet in between. “I need you.”

“Mmm.” He hums as you kiss down the helmet, finding that tiny sliver of skin that stays exposed under neath between the join of his helmet and his neck. The only weak spot in the armour, one that only you have touched. “You need me?”

“Need you.” Your lips brush against his skin. He tastes like green apples.

“What do you need from me?”

“I need a- ” You can’t stop your mind from flitting from thought to thought, it only has gone quiet here and now, with his hands on you and your lips agains his skin.

“How about a lesson?” He finishes for you, and your head drops against his shoulder. That is not the quality time you were thinking of right now.

“Seriously? You want me to fly right now?”

“Is there something else we should be doing, cyar’ika?” Months ago you would have dropped his gaze, hidden in embarrassment at the question. Not now.

“Theres about a million things I want to do with you - to you right now. None include flying.” He takes your hips in his hands and spins you around on his lap, forcing you to face the controls. You try to remember everything he taught you last time, seeing the familiar key pads and switches. You want to roll your eyes.

“Trust me. You will like this.” He adjusts you on his lap and instantly you can feel him, hard and needy underneath you. Maker - you missed that too. How the hell were you supposed to focus on flying with his - “This lesson is about dealing with distractions.”

Well, that will be fitting.

“Flying is unpredictable. You need to be able to focus on keeping us in the air, no matter what happens around you. Do you understand?” You nod, not sure if you would be able to form a response with the way his hands start to work at the make shift belt holding your pants up. “Now, whats the first step?”

Taking a deep breath, you lean forward and pull up the co-ordinate screen. Then you stop, realising you have no idea where you are going.

“Navigation lock, but I don’t know where-”

“Good. Its a surprise, so I’ll enter it. Next?”

“A surprise? Wh-” He silences you again as he tugs your pants down your legs, using the free space of your bent over frame to discard them completely.

“Next.” He says lowly, and the cool beskar against your bare thighs snaps your slightly dazed subconscious back into action. Right. You were about to fly a ship.

“Um - the uh... auto system.” You feel him exhale behind you.

“No taking the easy way out. You are going to fly on your own.” Your shoulders sag. Worth a shot.

“Fine. Whatever.” His hands, still in their gloves, slide along your thighs, and one of them hits the side of your leg when you bite out the attitude fuelled reply.

“Don’t be rude to your instructor. Focus.” His hands smooth over the slight sting that he left, no real pain registering but just enough to make you roll your eyes and sit up straight. “What now?”

“A-Altitude. Steer, break the auto system and check altitude.” You say, mostly to yourself as you go through the motions. The coordinates you see on the panel don’t look familiar, but it’s hard to do anything as you feel Dins hands, his actual hands, fall back onto your thighs and come dangerously close to your clit. “Din. I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

“Have to learn. Flying is-“

“Unpredictable. Yeah. Got it.” Both hands hold onto your thighs tightly as you lean forward again to steer the ship upwards. It takes off with a low hum, and it feels natural to fly this thing now. To think you were so scared of it just a little while ago.

“I need you so badly, cyar’ika. You going to let me take you here, while you fly my ship? Hm?” Your eyes flutter closed as he whispers words lowly through the modulator. “Concentrate.”

“Maker, you are…” You pull on the lever to your right and you fall backwards into Dins chest as the ship begins moving forward and gaining altitude.

“Good. What’s next?” His hands move up under your shirt, skirting the edge of your bra before falling into his lap, undoing his pants and shuffling them underneath you. Meanwhile, you attempt to form a rational thought and not send both of you crashing into the ground. You know he would take over if you did something wrong, but for some reason you want to prove it to him. That you can do this, you can take care of them as much as he can take care of you. You also, more than anything, don’t want him to stop what he’s doing, so you continue to pilot to the best of your ability while his thumbs rub small circles into your thighs.

“F-fuel gage.” You choke out, and glance at the gage and oxygen levels, trying to remember their normal levels.

“Good girl. Think you can take me, and not kill us in the process?” You shuffle further back and gasp when you feel him, hot and hard against your back.

“I’ll show you I can.”

“Yeah?” You were nodding whilst tapping on the oxygen gage, making sure the needle wasn’t moving. Everything seemed to check out, now you just had to fly straight and watch the map. “Keep your hands on the panel.”

You lean forward and both of his hands come to your ass, adjusting your position so he could situate himself between you. You cry out as he drags the swollen top of his cock between your folds - three days without him was too long. Far too long. You needed him, and he needed you just as bad - the choked sound coming from the modulator as he slowly slid the tip of him inside you confirming it.

“Oh, please keep going, Din.” One hand slides up your shirt, pressing against the skin along your spine in a soothing line, the other firm on your hip.

“You sure, baby? Don’t want to hurt you.” You could feel all the muscles in his legs tensing, like he was straining against himself to stop from slamming up into you.

“Yes, Din. I’ll - please.” That’s all it takes for him to slide all the way inside of you, both of you gasping in relief at the familiar feeling.

“Oh fuck, cyar’ika. I love you. I need this so bad I - I have to move, okay?” Your eyes were squeezed shut, afraid if he didn’t move now you would cum just from the feeling of having him inside of you. He finally begins to move, setting a slow, sensual pace as he drives into you deeper than you thought possible.

Your head falls back into his shoulder when he sits up in the chair, your hands staying flat on the control panel. Shit - you were flying a ship. Din seems to remember at the same time, hand coming over and flicking it expertly into auto.

“I thought you said no easy way.” You gasp between thrusts, and he growls into your ear. Like actually growls - you think you might faint.

“Fuck that. Need your full attention when I make you scream.” He moves you like you are weightless, picking you up and dropping you back down on his cock in slow, deep drives, leaving you helpless to just follow him and moan into the closed off space in the cockpit.

“Fuck, yes Din! God I missed you - I loveyouiloveyou fuck!” It comes off your tongue so easily - you love him, love how he makes you feel. Now, when he’s driving into you so hard you see more stars than the ones in front of you, and every time your around him. Your heart beats in the pace of his breathing, speeding up as he does.

The hiss of his helmet makes you squeeze your eyes shut tighter, and you are spun around to straddle him. He never misses a thrust as he buries himself in you, cock and tongue working in tandem to drive you insane. His lips are soft and pillowy, the kind of sensation you dreamt about.

You start to lose feeling in your legs as he keeps fucking you, hard and slow. He is everywhere all at once, and your toes curl when you feel him pull away, spit in his hand and then attach it to your clit, moving in tight circles.

You scream out his name - it’s the closest you have ever come to praying.

“That’s it, princess. God you feel so good. You going to cum on my cock? Show me how much you missed me?”

“Oh fuck Din - Yes!” Everything goes bright white - maybe it’s because you missed him so gods damn much, or maybe it’s the slow and hard way he’s fucking you while his hand words the bundle of nerves that makes your whole body twitch in his hold - but you can’t hold back the way you sound.

You moan and scream knowing no one can hear you, the darkness of the galaxy behind you completely forgotten as Din drives you to the brink of insanity.

“I’ve got y- ohhhh fuck baby, that’s it.” You were already shaking as you feel the orgasm wash over you, although that doesn’t really explain the way it feels. It’s more like the ship plummets to the ground and then soars back into the heights of the galaxy, your stomach swirling with heat and everything gets a thousand degrees warmer.

You feel Dins hold on you clamp down as he chases you into his own high, and you nearly cum again at the feeling of his release inside of you, the sensation heightened at how fucking sensitive you were right now.

You must have spun around at some point, because when you open your eyes your chin was on Dins shoulder, looking out at the galaxy over the top of the chair. You focus on a star in the distance, bright and shiny to try and pull yourself into some semblance of a person, and it’s only when you squint really hard that you see a reflection.

It’s not his face, but before you realise what your staring at it’s too late. It’s the back of his head, hair messy and in a bunch of curls against your cheek. You shut your eyes straight away, and your whole body must shiver or tense, because Dins hands run along your back as he speaks.

“Are you okay? Cold? Tired?” You bury your face into his neck, taking a second. You don’t want him to think you were trying to see anything, but it’s the closest you’ve come, and you can’t get the picture of his curls against your cheek out of your head.

“The reflection, in the window. I saw the back of your head.” You think you feel him stop breathing. “I closed my eyes, it was only a tiny part of your hair I - Maker I am so sorry I didn’t even think I just like opened my eyes! I was-“

He pulls you tighter against him, and you only just notice him slipping out of you and tucking himself back into his pants. Your stomach drops - nerves start to creep up your spine. Is he mad? You are usually so careful about that, and so is he.

“Din? I am really sorry, I didn’t even know the chair had turned around and before I realised where I even was I had already-“

“It’s okay.” He says into your hair, and presses a light kiss to your temple. Then stops speaking.

“That’s - that’s all? ‘it’s okay’?” He straightens against the chair, and you keep your face hidden. The last thing you want to do is betray his trust twice in one day.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not!”

“Yes, it is.” You start to wriggle in his hold.

“Din, you can be angry at me.”

“Why would I be angry with you?”

“Because I - why I am I more worried about this than you are?” He sighs, and the breath he lets out is almost a little shakey.

“You aren’t going to let me have this, are you?” His hands meet behind your lower back, and start to massage the sore muscles at the base of your spine.

“Ha-have what?”

“It’s okay, that you saw. It’s okay because I want you to see. I want you to see all of me.” You are the one that stops breathing.

You don’t say anything. He wants you to see? His face? Maker, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that you haven’t dreamt about seeing him, kissing his face and looking him in the eye. Being able to see all the little expressions he makes, how he looks when he laughs. How he looks when he looks at you. Your chest feels heavy - full of emotion at the two simple sentences that hold the weight of your entire time together.

He wants you to see.

“I - do you remember that night on the ship? When you asked me if I had ever shown anyone my face? I told you about this thing - a sort of ceremony that happens. For a Mandalorian.” Your heart was skipping a mile a minute, and he feels your nod against his neck, so he continues. “I have thought of nothing but you since I met you. There is no one in this galaxy I love more, want to share more with, than you. You are everything I don’t deserve, but there is nothing I would not do for you. I want you, in every way you will have me. I want you to see me.”

“Din.” You think you were crying, but your head was pressing so hard against his neck you couldn’t tell.

“I was going to wait - I had a whole plan. The morning I left, I wanted to just tell you right then. The idea of getting to come home to you, leave you in bed in the morning and come home to you at night, not having to hide any part of myself from you. I - the place we are heading now, if you - if you want this, I can -” He swallows. “I can show you.”

Keeping your eyes closed, you push yourself off his neck and find his lips with your own. You kiss him soft and sweet, taking slow strides with your lips to feel every part of him you can. You would always respect his creed and what he stood for - if he never showed you his face you would have been perfectly happy, as long as you had him.

But hearing him say that he doesn’t want to hide from you. Hide. He doesn’t think of the helmet as a hinderance, you know he doesn’t, but he knows that he has a certain amount of vulnerability when he shows his face, and keeping the helmet on would allow him to stay guarded from you in a sense, and protect that vulnerability. It would also allow both of you to go your seperate ways, neither of you having made a commitment. You were, after all, technically a stow away fake-Jedi teacher.

This meant something.

To him, you knew this meant everything, and it was because of that, that it meant everything to you, too.

“Is that - you don’t have to say anything. If you don’t want to, I understand.” You were so invested in kissing him that you hadn’t realised he had sort of asked you a question.

“No! I mean, yes! Of course - I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything. You know that, right? The creed means so much to you, I would never want to go against that.”

“I know, cyar’ika. That is exactly the reason I want you to do this with me. If you-”

“Yes! Of course - if its what you want, of course I want to see you. I have always wanted to see you.” He pulls your face to his, kissing you with the same sweetness you began with.

“I love you.” He says, and kisses you again.

“I love you.” You say back, and sigh into him.

The galaxy swirls behind you as you rest your chin on his shoulder, and your eyes open again. You know where his reflection is, and you actively avoid it this time, not wanting to break the tradition.

“Is there anything I have to - do? To like...” For spending as much time as you did with a Mandalorian, you knew very little about Mandalorian tradition. You had only seen one wedding back on your home planet, and it was very small. This wasn’t a wedding - oh god, now you were nervous. Was it? When he explained it to you the first time, he had said it was their version of it. Did you need a white dress? A ring? Vows - oh god you-

“Nothing. I just need you to be there. Maybe wear that red dress you kept hidden at the bottom of your bag, though.” You blush at the thought - he must have found it while getting you dressed last night. You had nearly forgotten about it, the dress you stole the night you also took that jacket. It was the night you first felt something more with Din, even if he maybe didn’t return it just yet. That felt like a lifetime ago.

“Be there? Be where - wait, where are we going?” You can feel him smile again against your neck, and he leans over and puts his helmet back on, while also bringing up the giant textbook full of planets that he uses.

“You’re the captain. Find the co-ordinates.” He says in a modulated tone, and you sit up in his lap, smiling from ear to ear. His hands come over yours on the edges of the book as you skim through, looking over his shoulder at the nav pad to figure out the exact co-ordinates.

You flip through page after page, growing more impatient with each swipe. Finally you find the numbers in the top right hand corner, and it takes you a second to process the sight in front of you. You would know it anywhere - you have stared at this page too many times, seen the exact blue of that water way, the crisp green of the trees in that photo too many times to not know it by image alone.

“No fucking way.” Heart beating in your throat, another tear slides down your cheek in astonishment. You start to laugh - pure disbelief as one of your life long dreams comes in to. view in front of you, the planet cresting on the left part of the nav map.

“Naboo. Chommell sector of the Mid Rim. Home to the Gungans, forefront of galactic politics, rolling plains, swamps, lakes.” He recites from the book in front of you, and you’re glad because you can’t see through your tears. “I told you I would take you there.”

“Are we really going? Really?” Your throat was tight, and the words came out in a broken high pitch. When Din nodded, you couldn’t do anything except squeeze him into a hug and cry. Happy tears, obviously. This was your dream - your entire childhood, all those years on Tatooine you had wished to be whisked away and spun into a dream, surrounded by the clear waters and whistling trees of Naboo.

Now, with Din in your arms, your dream was happening. It was everything you had ever asked for, ever dreamt of. But it wasn’t the destination that was making you cry.

Din was taking you. He was taking you there, because he wanted to spend the rest of his days in your presence. He wanted you to see him, because he never wanted anything to be in between either of you again. You wanted it, too - you wanted to know every part of him, every inch of his skin, every part of his mind. These few days away from each other only cemented what you already knew - you were in love with him, and nothing in the galaxy would compare to that.

“Still have to get there without crashing us though, Captain.” Din said after a while, and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. He soon joined, spinning you back around on his lap and turning to face the control panel, where you adjusted course for landing. On Naboo.

“I can see it! Holy shit, its right there.” The planet was beginning to come in to eyesight, the book forgotten and dropped on the floor in place of the real thing staring at you in the face. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”

“Anything. I would do anything for you, cyar’ika.”

“You need to teach me more Mando’a. I want to hear you say it more.” Every time he calls you that, it sends shivers up your spine, and even though you have no idea what he’s saying when he uses it, somehow it sounds ten times prettier in his language.

“You just want to know how to swear.”

“That, too.”

“Dinii.”

“Hey!”

“You don’t even know what I said.”

“I will soon, Dinii.” He groans, and then laughs. The cockpit begins to get lighter as the two of you soar into the atmosphere of Naboo, a sentence you never thought you would get to say.

Din holds your waist as you begin the descent. You realise, though, that as you are landing, Naboo is not what you were searching for.

Naboo reminded you of your father. It reminded you of the family you once had, and you thought that somehow if you made it here, you would have that back. What you didn’t know, is that by searching for the past, you found something entirely different, something you never knew you needed. You missed your father, and you missed the woman you thought your mother was. You missed this - but while you were so busy searching for a way to get this back, you found what you really needed was something to call your own.

Din pulled you closer and your legs folded on his lap as you cleared the security systems of the planet, and you took a deep breath, knowing that whatever came next, you had your family. You were not alone, and you never would be again.

- - - - - - - - - - -

a/n: GUYS!!!!! um i just want to say thankyou. this series was the first thing i ever wrote on this account, and this si the first piece of work i have ever finished to the end. i just want to say thankyou to everyone who commented, reblogged liked or interacted with any part of this series - you are all so kind and i love all of you. this has taught me a lot about how i write and what i want to do for the next series i write, but this will always have a special lil place. also to everyone on the taglist - you guys were the reason i kept writing my sotry, and the idea theres people actually coming back to read things i wrote is INSANE! thankyou soso much you dont know what it means to me xx

also if you are interested in stats

final word count: 88,164 words. what the fuck this shit is crazy

okay - see you in the epilouge!!!

taglist:

@avatarkanemi

@fishthemenace

@sparklykeylime

@razzle-my-berries

@solomonssimp

@im-a-slut-for-fluff

@bvcky-brns

@kirsteng42

@missswriter

@readsalot73

@dindjarinsmut

@soaronmywings

@starr-warss

@midwesternwitchery

@leithatnight

@tianotfound

@niall7inches

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usaigi · 2 years

Text

Daniela & Matt Murdock

Lunar sys au character cards | Read all chapters on ao3

A/N: Takes place in the year that Marc was dormant and Jake was acting as host in NYC

“So what are your mommy issues?” Daniela leans in, resting her chin on her hand, fluttering her eyes.

“That obvious?” Matt chuckles, giving her his signature striking Murdock smile. “Never knew her. Left before I was a year old.”

“Daddy issues too?”

“Yeah, he was killed. I was nine,” he says casually, taking another sip of his beer.

“Damn. Double abandonment issues. Was that before or after you lost your vision?”

“Bit after. Guess I really couldn’t see a world without my dad,” Daniela snorts in response, shaking her head at the terrible joke. “You know most people say they’re sorry right about now,” Matt adds on in a teasing tone.

“Haven’t you been pitied enough? Orphan, blind, and catholic,” Daniela says, sliding in a little closer on the booth. Sitting side by side, with the only person who in the whole bar that matters.

“So what about you? What are your mommy and daddy issues?”

“Yeah you know, my mom liked to drink. I don’t really remember my dad, always working or praying. Typically family crap, just swap the gender roles,” she shrugs.

“I’m sor–” Matt's tone changes, the light teasing turns heavy, sincerely sympathizing for her homelife despite him coming from nothing. Nice guys are a buzzkill.

“Don’t be. I don’t need your pity,” she answers bitterly, finishing off her drink. Despite her comment, Matt brings her in, guiding her head to his shoulder. He rests his head on her, and the booze on his breath gives her an uneasy sense of comfort and familiarity.

“Are you angry?” Matt asks softly.

“Yes.”

“At your parents?”

“No. At myself. Well, parts of myself.” The bad parts of herself. The parts that won’t listen.

“I understand that.” No, he doesn’t. But still, he takes her hand, and feels nice between his fingers. Everything with Matt felt nice. The way the pulls her in for a kiss, how he holds her face, how he makes her head spin, how despite everything she knows she has all the control.

“My friend told me I need to stop doing this,” he breaks off, still smiling.

“Doing what?” Daniela asks innocently.

“Oversharing and bonding over trauma with people I just met,” he laughs.

“Technically, we’ve known each other for a couple of weeks. Not total strangers. But how come?”

“False perception of closeness. Make you think you have a deeper bond than in reality.”

“That’s probably smart. You should keep that in mind for your next relationship. You in therapy?”

“I was after the accident. Now… does confession count?”

“Pssh no. You should look into it again. Find a healthy outlet for your anger instead of punching sandbags until your knuckles bleed.” Even with the bar's dim lighting, the bruises on his skin glow, radiating the rage he so clearly felt behind the charming smile.

“Can’t really look into anything, can I? How about you?”

“Nah, that’s for white people,” she says, thinking back to the one someone told their therapist that their mom spanked them and he asked them if it was a cultural practice. They all collectively refused to say another word to them afterward. “Joking, mostly. I got medical trauma now, not doing that again. Anyways, wanna get out of here?”

“Lead the way.” So Daniela takes his hand. Even if it's just for the night, it almost doesn't feel like a lie.

A/N

Daniela, joking about trauma: is this flirting?? 🤭

Matt, later: Hey I had a really good time last night Jake, oblivious to Matt/Dani thing, thinking they’re just pals: yeah, me too :D

#moon knight #mk #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #matt murdock #daredevil #marvel #mk lunar sys

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bylightofdawn · 1 year

Text

Okay it's WIP Sunday again. This scene I technically wrote last night at like 1 am so it was TECHNICALLY Sunday. I really have only written like 1,300 words today and am smack dab in the middle of a JasPlo scene which sadly is not complete enough to make sense. So you get a special treat. A very important conversation between Jango and Mij where Jango admits perhaps for the first time out loud that he doesn't really WANT to be Mand'alor but doesn't want to disappoint Jaster by telling him that.

I'm constantly battling with myself when it comes to writing Jango who definitely feels way more mature for a 14/15-year-old like we see in Open Seasons. But that's just Mando (I don't know if tumblr auto-correct that but it was originally Mango culture and I am ded) culture and he would technically be considered an 'adult' by their standards. Even if I do think he's still a teenager and his brain isn't fully developed and would prolly still struggle with typical teenage things like fear of disappointing his parents and the like. So I try and write him like he's mature but also a kid still in some ways if that makes sense? Blah blah, rough draft and will need to be edited at a later date warning as always.

I also love that Mij has accidentally become the agony aunt of the Mereel/Fett household. I mean, doctors often act as the first step into a patient's mental health journey but gods love him. I don't think Mandalorians and mental health care are on very strong terms. They don't strike me as bastions of mental health awareness in a lot of ways. Pfffft. Long story short, he does not get paid enough for this shit.

The doctor moved to sit down on the other end of the couch. “You’ll have plenty of time before you have to worry about him needing to really consider who all he wants to take up the title of Mand’alor. Don’t listen to the osik people like Montross say.”

He carefully chose his words when he said that but Jango still shot him a wary, suspicious look.

“I’m not worried about that.”

“Jango? You’re a bright kid and you’re definitely more mature than a lot of people your age so I’m going to do you the courtesy of treating you like you’re an adult. Do me to courtesy of not treating me like I’m a blind idiot, okay? It’s completely normal that you’d be anxious about that. It’s a lot of responsibility and pressure to put on anyone’s shoulders. Especially a teenager. Which is why Jaster is trying so damned hard to not make you feel pressured to make that choice if you don’t want it.”

“I don’t...think I do want it is the thing. I like being a soldier, but I don’t think I want to be the Mand’alor.” Jango couldn’t explain why exactly those words flew out of his mouth. Why he’d suddenly uttered something he’d been clinging to tightly like some kind of shameful secret to Mij Gilamar of all people.

Maybe because he didn’t have that same emotional connection to the man? Maybe because he did come across as somewhat easier to talk to than Jaster when it came to this? Or maybe it simply burst out of him like a boil that desperately needed to be lanced. Because if he kept it inside of himself for another day, he might go crazy.

To his credit, the doctor didn’t look triumphant or exultant that Jango had confided in him. If anything, the older man’s steady gray eyes looked understanding and maybe a little sympathetic. As if Jango had simply confirmed something he’d already known.

“I don’t think most people would choose to be either if I’m being honest. It’s a lot of hard work and a pretty thankless job in a lot of ways.”

“Exactly. Have you seen the way they treat Jaster at times? I just want to–I want to punch Kyr Ordo in the face sometimes. So yeah, I think I’d be a terrible Mand’alor”

“Then tell that to Jaster, he’s not going to judge you or place some kind of guilt trip on your shoulders.”

“I don’t want to disappoint him,” Jango admitted quietly.

“I don’t think it is possible you can disappoint him. You would really have to kark up for that to happen. Short of you murdering a whole host of people or doing some serious war crimes, I don’t think you need to worry about that. And even then, he’d probably try and stand by you because that’s who he is.” Mij snorted softly. “He will however probably internalize all kinds of guilt and act like a real di’kut if he thinks you did something you don’t want just to try and please him.”

“Yeah, that sounds like the kind of stupid thing he’d do.” The teenager agreed with a wan smile.

“The most brilliant idiot I know.” The doctor agreed with a matching smile.

“Oh, I like that, I’m going to have to remember that one.”

“Sure, take all my best material. I might have to start charging you.” Mij teased. “Look, real talk? I admire the hell out of Jaster. We all do which is why we’re half a damned galaxy away from home and our loved ones trying to make this crazy dream of his happen. I would literally not be here if he had not personally asked me to come. Because I’d much rather be back home right now with my lovely wife, you know? But I know if I’d told him no way, he wouldn’t have held it against me, wouldn’t have done anything but thank me for my time and it would have never been brought up again.”

“Yeah, what’s that got to do with this?”

“It means, if he’s not going to hold something like that against me, someone who has only known him for a few years and isn’t even remotely family then you definitely don’t have to worry about him holding it against you.”

“It’s a bit bigger than just asking you to come with us on some mad jaunt to Coruscant.”

“Is it, though? Isn’t he asking you if you want the job and you can decide if you do or don’t want it? Talk to him and tell him. The quicker you get it off your chest, the better you’re going to feel about it and the quicker he can start trying to cast about and find someone crazy enough to want to take on the gig.”

“Yeah but what if he asks someone like <I>Montross</I>. He hasn’t exactly been subtle in his hinting he’d take it up in a heartbeat.”

“I don’t think there’s enough traumatic brain injury Jaster could suffer where he would think that was a good idea. I mean, maybe once upon a time when Montross wasn’t such a chakaar. Supposedly, back in the day, he wasn’t this much of a bastard but these days, I don’t think he’s exactly winning the hearts and minds of most folks. Maybe the more stubborn and hidebound types but I’d like to think that breed is dying out. Usually, because they literally are too stupid to live to old age.”

“Two words: Kyr Ordo. He’s not going to do anyone a favor and die anytime soon I’m sure.”

“Ordo is definitely stubborn and can definitely be hidebound but he’s more cagey than I think you give him credit for. He sees which way the wind is blowing and I think he’ll probably surprise you. There’s no way you get to be the leader of that clan without knowing how to spot a serpent in the grass. I think if Montross pushes things too far, he might find himself in for a surprise in how few people would be willing to follow him.”

Jango frowned as he pondered Mij’s words and every way he looked at it, there was a lot of common sense in the older man’s statements. “I don’t know if Jaster can see it though. I think he’s got a huge blindspot when it comes to Montross.”

“That’s what happens when you serve with someone as long as those two have. You’ll just have to be there to watch his back. I don’t think Montross is going to try and stick a knife in it, but who really knows what’s going on in someone’s head? Who knows, maybe if he thinks he doesn’t have to compete with you for competition, he’ll calm down now.”

“Maybe.” He didn’t even bother trying to disguise his doubt about that.

“All you can do is watch his back like you’ve been doing. And once you two talk and Jaster knows where you stand, you can help him try and find the ideal candidate.”

“And what if someone tries to challenge him for that spot? What if Montross decides instead of sticking a knife in Jaster’s back, he wants to try and take the title of Mand’alor by force?”

“What if an asteroid crashes down on Jaster’s head tomorrow? Or he chokes on a warra nut? You can’t twist yourself up into knots over what-if scenarios. If someone gets it into their head they want to challenge Jaster for Mand’alor then it’ll play out how it plays out. I know Jaster has said in the past if someone really did want to push for the proverbial crown and he thought that person could do a better job than him then he wouldn’t even fight for it. Hell, he’d probably welcome it at this point.”

“Give him all the time in the world to work on his pet projects, yes I’ve heard that line before. More like he’d have all the time in the world to drive us all crazy. Do you think the True Mandalorians would follow this new Mand’alor or do you think they’d follow him?”

“Kark me, now you’re really asking the hard ones, aren’t you? I don’t know, kid. He was a True Mandalorian before he became Mand’alor, right? I suspect, if we’re talking hypothetical scenarios here, some would follow him no matter what. There’s no way someone like Myles would ever serve anyone else. Same for most of the old-timers. Where it would get interesting might be with some of the new blood. Some of them grew up True Mandalorians but others like me? Vau? The ones who joined up later in life and maybe don’t have the same ties? I dunno. Me personally? I’d stick with Jaster because I know what kind of leader he is. And because there’s no way I would be able to convince Tani to join some other group. I guess we’ll have to see how things play out.”

“Yeah, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” Jango didn’t sound very happy about that.

“I think that’s also a thing you should consider talking with Jaster about as well. Now, come on. You need your rest and I need to go check in on Jaster because I’m laying pretty even odds on him getting distracted or roped into someone’s osik and I’ll have to drag him to bed by his ear kicking and screaming.”

“A non-compliant patient? In this household?”

“Wayii! You’re one to talk, young man. Get before I start snatching ears.” Mij mock threatened and made a claw-like pantomime movement like he was going to reach for Jango’s ear.

The teenager sprang to his feet with a laugh and fell into a play-fighting pose. “Try me, old man.”

“The disrespect, I swear. Get out of here and go lay down so I can use your compliance as blackmail material for your father. If you’re cooperating then I can remind him his kid is a better patient than he is and it’ll make my life all the easier. I might actually get some peace and quiet for once.”

“I don’t think you’d know what to do with it if you got it, Mij.”

The medic grimaced at that. “Out of the mouths of babes as the saying goes.” Mij snorted and climbed to his feet as well.

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, Mij? Thanks, for the talk. And uh...keep what we talked about under your bucket for a while? Until I can actually talk to Jaster?”

“Of course, kid. My lips are sealed.” Mij clapped Jango on the shoulder as he left.

#el writes #wip sunday #seeds for the future fic #jango fett #mij gilamar #fanfic snippet

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chosonore · 3 years

Text

infatuation

infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]

wordcount: 23.3k

content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]

a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)

"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"

you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).

even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.

"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"

"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"

"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.

you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?

"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.

"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.

"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."

"really? you can hire tho-"

"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.

"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."

"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"

"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."

"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.

"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-

"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.

"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"

"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."

nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.

"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."

"i see. is this a formal event?"

"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"

"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"

"uh i-"

nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."

you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.

"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.

"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."

"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."

"i don't-"

nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"

"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."

"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.

"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.

"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"

"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."

"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.

the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."

"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"

although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.

not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.

"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"

"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."

"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"

you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.

"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."

"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"

you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.

“is everything okay?”

“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”

on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.

“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”

for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.

“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”

nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.

"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.

“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”

the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.

“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.

“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”

you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"

“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.

“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”

humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”

“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”

“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”

“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”

surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.

"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.

“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.

as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.

"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?

“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.

seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.

“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.

“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”

“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.

“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?

“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.

“i’m sorry that-”

“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”

giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.

when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”

“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.

before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”

“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”

choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.

“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”

nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.

the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”

“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”

“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”

“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.

choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?

to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.

you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.

"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.

wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.

"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.

"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.

choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”

a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.

seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.

dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.

“oh.”

“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”

“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”

choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.

carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”

your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.

“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”

you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-

his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”

“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”

choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”

“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”

choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.

“if you want to, of course.”

-----------

now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.

choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.

you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.

silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.

“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.

the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.

choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"

"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.

"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.

"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.

“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.

“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”

before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.

with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”

choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”

“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”

steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.

something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.

you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"

"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."

"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.

"thank you."

"for what?" choso sounded surprised.

"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."

“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”

he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.

“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”

you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”

“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”

sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.

thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”

“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”

“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.

your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”

“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.

after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.

“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”

“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”

“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.

“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”

choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.

“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.

“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”

----------

“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”

“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”

“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”

“nope! not at all!”

“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.

“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”

wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.

“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.

“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”

you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.

everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.

knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him

“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”

your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”

“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”

choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”

“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.

choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.

pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”

reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.

“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.

"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."

you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.

languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.

it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.

“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”

you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”

“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.

choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.

choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.

“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.

slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.

while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”

“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.

slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”

you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”

“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”

“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”

“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.

you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again

“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.

“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.

your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”

“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”

you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”

“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.

“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.

“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”

“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”

you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”

“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”

one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.

the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”

choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”

the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.

“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.

“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”

“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”

“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”

“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”

deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.

as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.

it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”

“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”

“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”

choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”

“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.

choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.

“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.

“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”

“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.

“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.

eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.

unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.

choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.

“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.

choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.

you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.

it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.

"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.

"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"

choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"

you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?

"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."

"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."

"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"

"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."

his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.

“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”

choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.

sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.

weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.

out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”

“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.

“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”

“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”

all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?

“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.

“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”

in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.

“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”

“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.

“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.

“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”

“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”

a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.

“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.

you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”

“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”

“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”

swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”

“that’s-!”

your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”

suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”

choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”

your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.

“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”

“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.

you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.

“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”

you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.

“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”

you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.

“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”

choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”

over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”

“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”

“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”

“it would be an honour, princess.”

with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.

he was perfect and he was yours.

p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!

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