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fleurlia · 3 years

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here is part two of this.

[7:13 pm] for all the phases you have been through in the past few months, all of them were disastrous. a couple of months after jeno has told you about his proposal karina and he appears with new rings, explaining to everyone how both just choose to make things more swiftly and not wait until graduation.

you already knew it but that didn't stop you from spending at least twenty minutes crying pathetically in the ladies' room.

certainly when you thought things couldn't get any worse, believe me, they did. you were convinced for the moment karina asked you to help her choose the dress. again, you couldn't blame anyone against yourself.

renjun and donghyuck stood next to you, holding their laughs as she was asking for help in the most loving way. just for when she was gone the duo were shouting loud and attempting to comfort your poor heart. following that, you saw yourself sat there watching karina trying on more than a thousand wedding dresses, for getting married to the love of your life.

it would be easier to hate her if she was a bitch and 20% less attractive. you thought.

and talking about him, you couldn't even hold his gaze without looking weepy and bitter. your friendship existed only by devices, which you believed would be turned off the moment he said yes to her.

after a year of planning and torture, the big day has arrived and even though you have created every possible excuse, none seemed good enough to not going to your best friend's wedding. including a sweet smile, your mom comforted you as you got ready for the wedding, holding up tears and making yourself at least looking attractive on the worst day of your life. you asked more than once for your mother to be merciful and to fake an accident but she keeps telling you how could you get over it if you didn't see "the dead body".

instructed to stay at least a few minutes late, you made everything possible to be delayed. not wanting to arrive and have to deal with the reception and face the bride and groom. not craving to deal with the fact that if you held more than five seconds alone with jeno, you would presumably tell him the truth that was stuck in your throat. then when you arrive everyone was already at the ceremony, your entry causing a small noise that drew attention. jeno's eyes catching yours immediately.

the couple looking supremely beautiful, like always. the dress that karina and you have picked just not fits her but makes everyone around her look poorly ugly. oh my god, i hate myself so much. that was the only thing going through your mind.

sitting down next to renjun, he sends you a glance. "it's almost ended, i thought you were not coming."

"as if i were that lucky"

he chuckles but gently takes your hands. even though you said more than a thousand times that you didn't want anyone feeling sorry for you, he tried his best to make things a little better.

while the minutes started to grow, your mind stopped a few more every time that ceremony got close for the "yes". holding up every tear you possess in your body, you almost failed as the old lady next to you smile in your direction and whispered;

"what are you from the groom??"

"i... i am his best friend, since freshman year at college."

"oh, that's why he is looking right here all the time."

quietly you agreed with her, not even daring yourself to look up and catch all of his stares. the moments pass with you staring to anywhere, you couldn't even look at them without feeling your chest squeeze in sharp pain.

"so lee jeno, do you take this woman as your wife to lover her, respect her, and looking for her?"

wishing to not stand there or even existed, you were close to starting to crying but renjun squeezed your hands and all that people heard at next was; "yes, i do."

lee jeno, the love of your life just got married... but it's was not whit you.

later on, — this including the time you spent crying and sobbing in the car — you were supposed to go to the celebration and that's is what you did as a supportive friend.

the first hour was going like a blink, you have to pretend so much happiness that the idea of the newlyweds just got blanked out of your mind. it was the last straw when jeno's sister approached you with a gentle smile, you could feel her pity just by the look on her face and you felt even more miserable when she said it in a low tone: ''i always thought that on a day like today, you would be my new sister.''

that hurt so much.

the rest of the night passed like a blur, a slow and painful blur. you had taken so many pictures and you were sure that you looked ridiculous in the picture with the bride and groom, donghyuck and renjun were there to support you but your false happiness was quickly destroyed by jeno's stares.

almost at the end of the celebration, everyone full of the food and tired from the dancing, people decided it was time for the speeches and in the crowd of invited people you hid behind your friends. if by any chance the universe hated you that much you would be chosen to give some words and you were ready to make a whole speech based on rose's in "love, rosie". it would be tragic.

karina's mother said beautiful words to the couple and praised jeno so much that you at that moment felt happy for him. many relatives passed by, all of them talking about how perfect they were for each other and at end wishing them happiness. you felt like a jealousy bitch at every second.

almost at the end of all your torture, you already agreed that renjun or one of his friends would take you home because you didn't even want to talk, it was the newlyweds' turn to speak. karina sounded so perfectly in love with every word she spoke out. you were thankful to be far away from the couple because your stomach flipped as you watched jeno stand up, straightening his suit and black hair.

you were about to get up and walk away, not wanting to hear about how much he loved her and was grateful to be married to her but after a second thought, you knew you would draw pitying and pitiful glances in your direction.

"i can give you more than a thousand and one reasons about how i ended up here, married to karina." his soft voice echoing throughout the room. "one of them is because sometimes... we don't notice that what we need is right under our noses. sometimes we even notice... but only a few people dare themselves to confess their love to that person.'' at that point nobody else understood where he was getting at with that speech. just like all evening, you didn't attempt to look at him and be unlucky enough to find him also watching you.

''one more reason why we are here, on this particular night, is that maybe i took too long to realize, waited for too long. i wish i could confess this earlier because... deep down i always knew it was you. the love of my life and my best friend.''

something inside of you clicked. back when you started to date, jeno looked you up one day and you fought, he was just being jealous that your then-boyfriend also claimed to be your best friend and you didn't say anything, the point is that he would never call karina his best friend. on that day, both promise never forgets about their besties and never, never calling anyone ''best friend''.

nobody knew about that.

"if... if i could only go back in time... maybe i would tell myself how i should confess to you.'' you looked up, getting his gaze. you stood surprised when you noticed that his eyes were tearing up. ''if only i had known that we would be here today. i never would have let your lips leave mine years ago, on new years'. i never should have walked away. i never should have panicked. i never should have lost all those years without you... because i've realized that no matter where you are or what you're doing, or who you're with, i will always honestly, truly, completely love you.''

you couldn't believe in your damn bad luck.

you couldn't discover what was more pathetically tragic. the fact that karina would watch the video of her wedding in the future and see her husband confessing his love to someone who wasn't her. or the fact that jeno had chosen his wedding day to acknowledge that he loved you.

karina never kissed him on new year's, their first one was in a cinema. only you did, once in your second year as friends. you two never spoke about it.

karina didn't like romantic comedies, she was a literature major and only liked movies that was focussed on classics. you did. you had made jeno watch "love, rosie" so many times that you both knew the script.

with tears rolling down their cheeks, the two of you stared at each other for what seemed like hours. he loved you too. you both now knew about the other's love. inaudibly while you wiped your tears you both agreed that; maybe in another time, another life, we were meant for a happy ending. but not here, not at this moment.

but it didn't matter, only you two knew how much you loved each other and always would.

ok guys, sorry for making this so long and for any mistakes. let me know if you wanted to me doing scenarios, reactions or timestamps or even let my asks open for requests.

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trumpkinhotboy · 3 years

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All in good time

Pairing: Jacob Black x f!reader

Type: Not requested

Genre: Kinda fluffy i'd say

Warnings: None!

Rating: g

Requests: Open (for Narnia and Twilight, maybe?😳)

A/n: Alright, alright, I know I said this blog was going to be centralized on Narnia stuff, but lately I've really gotten back in my Twilight phase🥴 Plus, I had a really shitty week and needed a pick me up. Jacob is one of my biggest comfort characters so I felt it was only suiting. I hope you'll enjoy it😬 I suggest reading this while listening to any kind of Twilight ambiance playlist.☺Also, I know my title sucks HAHA. Couldn't think of anything better so yea, I'm sorry, but this is what you get

Update: changed my title huhu!

* gif is not mine!!

There were days that just deeply and inherently... sucked. Days where everything seemed out of rhythm, where no matter how hard you tried, it all seemed wrong; it all fell apart.

Today was one of those days. When your dad jokingly said: "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." you did not think it the tiniest of bit funny. When you opened one of the kitchen cabinets to get your favorite brand of cereals and found an empty box, you almost threw a full-on seven-year-old crying on the floor tantrum. Especially when you saw the half-emptied bowl sitting in the sink. Too bad, no breakfast for you this morning. Ridiculous, immature, and not changing anything? Yes, of course, but you still did it out of pure spite. As if that would punish anyone else than you.

Like any other day in Forks, it was raining, nothing awful here, if it was not for the fact that the window on the driver’s side hadn’t been properly closed. Your seat was by now totally drenched. With your pants completely soaked you rode to school, your knuckles turning white from angrily gripping the wheel. Once you arrived, it seemed that everyone was annoyingly happy and enthusiastic while you just couldn’t get out of your personal, unchangeable, black cloud. Not to help, your friends only kept making fun of your moody behavior. Could you not be taken seriously on one of your worst days?

In your least favorite class, you were horrified to see written in big letters on the board:

“20% exam!! Leave your personal effects in front of the class.”

You would have run away if it wasn’t for the flow of students coming in to push you further in the classroom. Convinced the exam was for the next week, you did not even open the pages of your manual concerning the subject. It is with panic and exasperation that you sat at your desk waiting for your doom. Did you need to add that along with all that bull crap of a day, the only person who could have made your day a little less annoying was, once again missing. No calls, no texts, no news, nothing. Probably on another mission with the rest of his mutant gang. You got to the Rez after school, hoping you would see him, but were only welcomed by Leah and Seth. It almost felt like they were waiting for you as they were sitting outside of Billy’s house. Why they were the only ones left here was a mystery for you. The pack usually always stayed together.

- “Where are the others?”

- “On some kind of mission around the lands.”

- “Is everything alright?” They nodded nonchalantly. “Then why are you two here?”

The answer Seth gave you while chewing loudly on yet, another snack, made you grith your teeth so hard he thought they were going to fall out of your mouth.

- “To protect you.”

- “I thought it was nothing, so why would I need protection?”.

- “You should talk about it with Black. He’s the one who ordered us to stay to watch over you or something.”

- “I am PERFECTLY capable of WATCHING OVER MYSELF.” you answered a little louder than expected, anger rumbling in your chest. That earned you some awkward looks from your two friends, but at this point, it didn’t even matter, you were seeing red.

Leah, never intimated by you, shrugged her shoulders. Seth looking a little bit more nervous still laughed at your display of anger. Jacob was the one assigning babysitters over you? Of course, you and he would have a little discussion, that mutt would not see it coming.

When you got back home, you called your father to warn him; there was no way you would be cooking dinner. With your luck, it wouldn’t be a surprise if you burnt the whole house down. Fortunately, he was in good mood (unfair) and answered there was no problem; he would get pizza. He got home with the box in hand and a “Hey sweet...heart”. One quick look at your rough appearance and frustrated expression and his mouth closed shut. He dropped politely, almost carefully, a plate with a slice of pizza before quickly leaving for the couch. You mostly played with the food, incapable of swallowing it down, looking at the forest many times, waiting, expecting to see a tall figure appear on its verge but nothing. Time passed, still no sign of life. There was no way that by now Leah or Seth didn’t give him your message. You had time to wash the dishes, do some homework, and get in your sweats. At 7:30 pm you gave up; he wasn’t coming. Your father was still watching TV, completely oblivious to your growing anger. You picked up his plate to put it in the sink but tripped and dropped it, the delicate plate exploded into a thousand pieces.

- “Y/n? Everything okay?”

- “Y..ea.. an accident. I’ll pick it up.”

There was a slight tremolo in your voice. That was it. Your day had been terrible with no sign of sun, and this broken plate would be your breaking point as ridiculous as it sounded. You leaned on the counter, head hanging low, feeling tears of frustration swelling up in your eyes. Taking a deep breath, you looked up; in a second you were out the back door.

- “Where you going?” you heard your father ask.

- “Getting the trash out.”

The figure backed in the woods as you rushed into them without hesitation. You smacked against something big and warm, warmer than it was normal to be, yet you had become quite accustomed to it.

- “You little piece of shit.” your index finger digging in his chest. “You weren’t even here today, and it was terrible, and you can’t do this. I do not need any PROTECTION. Oh my god, do you really think I am weak and helpless without you or Leah or Seth or ANY werewolf to protect me?!”

He didn’t interrupt your monologue, only looking at you spitting your anger out.

- “You are SO annoying. Honestly who- who do you think you- are?! I’m- I am not, I can DEFINITELY, I don’t ne-eed any-one.” Your speech was becoming less and less coherent, your emotions taking control of your mind.

Without waiting any longer for you to finish your incoherent thought, he pulled you in for one of his signature bear hugs.

- “You can’t do this to me I’m an-ang-angry...”.

- “Shhh, it’s okay.”

- “You-you weren’t there.” you gave up fighting him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

- “I’m sorry, Leah told me.”

- “Wh- why didn’t you come sooner?” you continued, sobbing.

- “Some wolf things, Paul got in trouble.“ you backed off, immediately lifting your head at the mention of one of your friends in trouble.

- “Is he okay?”

- “Of course, he is, but Sam was very upset this time.” he stroked the side of your face with a small smile. “Enough with the boys, tell me what's wrong.”

- “Everything. I left my car window opened my seat was drenched. At school, everyone was disgustingly happy and in a good mood. I did not know I had an exam, I didn’t even study the subject. And this morning, my dad half ate the rest of my favorites cereals, and then I didn’t eat anything else as a silent protest, I know that’s stupid, but”

- “You didn’t eat anything else?”

- “Yeah, but I…” you lifted your gaze to meet his disapproving one. “I mean, I must have eaten a snack at lunch today…”

- “Must have?” he looked angrier.

- “Y/n??? Where are you??”

The calling of your father interrupted your conversation; he looked in its direction.

- “You should go back inside before your dad comes out.”

- “What? No, please. Can’t you kidnap me for tonight?” he chuckled lightly.

- “Trust me, go back in, okay?”

You looked at him unsure, even though you knew he was worthy of your trust. You finally nodded before running back inside.

- “What took you so long?”

- “Oh, uh, I thought I saw something and got a little carried away.”

- “Mokay, I don’t like you being so close to the woods. We’ve still had a few complaints about some trekkers finding traces of big animals in the woods. I’d prefer you be careful, alright?” You held up a smile, thinking about your friend just outside.

- “Sure.”

You stayed in the middle of the living room, expecting, waiting to see Jacob’s next move. You expected something quick, but when ten minutes later, there were still no signs of him, you felt frustration rising again. Not sure what to do now, you sat next to your father, half paying attention to what was happening on the screen. If he just left you, he was going to pay for it. You needed him, and just like that, he was gone? Probably, got called away by Sam again. Maybe it wasn’t in his control? But if it was…

Knock. Knock.

You looked up, surprised. The door opened with a creaking sound.

- “Oh, Jacob. Hi, what are you doing here?”

- “Hi Charlie, I heard Y/n had a pretty bad day. Came to kidnap her, if that's okay?”

- “Bad day? That’s an understatement. I swear, at one point, I thought she was going to scream at me. I ate her last bowl of cereal this morning; the thing was disgusting, I only ate half of it. I don’t think that helped.” You heard your friend’s low chuckle. Your dad seemed to feel pretty guilty about his crime, which did make you feel a tad bit better. “But yeah sure. Y/n! You have a visitor.”

You walked to them, Jacob awkwardly fitting in your small house; he seemed so disproportionate with his imposing size. For once, he was wearing actual clothes, a shirt and a pair of jeans, a sign he wasn’t planning on having to transform tonight. A sign that he was planning on being entirely dedicated to you.

- “Ready to go? I’m kidnaping you.” He said that last part with a smirk, a hint to your previous request.

- “Sure.” You grabbed your coat, said goodbye to your dad, and left without waiting any longer.

First, he took you away to get some food in you. It wasn’t until your teeth were digging inside a delicious burger that you realized just how hungry you were. Jacob being the glutton that he is, ordered two cheeseburgers along with a pack of large fries. You went for a milkshake, the perfect dessert for a night like this, and took your victuals to the La Push beach. It was empty and peaceful; the sun was slowly going down, the wind just a whisper in the night. It wasn’t even that cold, but the excuse to snuggle into Jake’s wolfish warmth was too good to pass.

- “Feeling better?” he asked while wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

- “Yes. Thanks, Jake.”

- “Kidnapping mission was a success?”

- “Yes, it was.” You answered with a smile.

- “Alright.” He muttered under his breath, looking in the distance.

You stayed for a while in comfortable silence, simply enjoying the other’s presence.

- “So, what were you saying about me not being there today, like that made your day worst?”

His question took you by surprise. A look at his cocky expression was all it took you to punch him in the ribs as hard as you could.

- “You wish idiot.”

He laughed at your attack, he probably didn't even feel a thing but leveled his face with yours in all seriousness.

- “You can avoid this conversation for now since you had a shit day and all, but keep in mind, it’s not over.”

- “And you keep in mind that our discussion about you ordering werewolves to stay behind to protect me, is not over. You won’t get away easily with that one Black.”

He laughed again, visibly amused with your threat. You laughed too but were slightly less amused. These two conversations were important ones, although one you apprehended way more. You looked at Jacob's happy expression and felt a fuzzy feeling warming your body. No, right now was not the time for such serious topics.

All in good time, right?

...

Tagging my two gals because they know how nervous I was😭...@imjustdreamingig @gonzalezyon I did it gals🥺 I hope you'll like it, thank you so much for your support💕💕

#ilya writes ❤#jacob black #jacob black x f!reader #jacob black x reader #jacob black fic #twilight #taylor lautner #twilight saga #wolves #werewolves

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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Text

lost my everything

Summary- while revealing something to spencer, you confess something during the process. he didn't know how to react, which led to a terrible accident in which he might lose you forever.

TW: talk abt mental and physical abuse, alluding to death, talk about self-harm, SAD ENDING

WC- 3,152

a/n - please don't read if you're sensitive to self-harm or talk about emotional and physical abuse because reader goes into discussion about these things. i care about you and your safety so if you need to talk about anything please seek help or my inbox is always open! you are loved and you are needed <3

masterlist

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one thing about being the youngest member of the team meant that the second-youngest member was drawn to you.

that second youngest member happened to be spencer reid.

you had just had another paperwork day today since you got back from one the night previous. you were currently in the conference room discussing the case before we got off-topic, curtesy of spencer's coffee problem.

"i might have a slight problem with my coffee addiction, but there are many studies that go to show the benefits of drinking coffee. supposedly, drinking coffee could extend your life period, strengthen your liver, increase your body's glucose production, and even-"

"okay, that's all for today guys. go home and get rest before a case comes in," hotch interjected and warned.

you placed your hand on spencer's arm, this time underneath the table, as his face began to fall from disappointment. he turned to face and gave a tight-lipped grin before you removed my hand and we both stood up.

"so, spence, my place or yours for the doctor who marathon this time?" you said as he grabbed his bag from his desk.

"we went to mine last, so we can just go to yours this time," he said with his natural pep back. "besides, i kinda like your apartment better," he shrugged with another wide smile.

"clearly you do," you joked. "you almost always say my place," you laughed as you both joined jj. pen, and emily in the elevator.

"hey, y/n, would you wanna go to o'kiefs with us tonight?" jj offered kindly.

"already got plans. maybe next time!" you said with a smile, turning back to see spencer wearing the same smile on your face.

honestly, you and spencer have gone to the bar with the team a few times. you weren't opposed to going with them, you just knew that going meant everyone would pressure you to drink alcohol.

last time, you had succumbed to peer pressure. spencer had to drive you home and hold your hair as you puked into the toilet, it was a very good bonding experience. you didn't remember much, but you do remember you convinced him to stay the night, although he did end up sleeping on the couch rather than in the bed with you.

"after last time, i don't blame you, y/l/n," emily laughed out, giving a concerned look recalling the memories flooding her mind.

"next time we won't pressure you so much!" penny consoled. "i didn't know how much you meant it when you said you can't handle your alcohol," she winced.

"yea... i really meant it," you laughed out, trying to shed some light on the subject. the elevator opened, allowing you to go your separate ways for the night. "have fun you guys!" you called as you walked to your car with spencer.

spencer and you have been carpooling to work ever since you learned he took the metro to work and only lived a couple blocks from your apartment complex. you couldn't stand the thought of something bad happening to him while on the train, so you've offered to give him a ride there and back ever since.

in return, spencer insisted on paying for daily coffee runs for the two of you. it was his way 'of returning the fuel money in another type of fuel.'

you and spencer crawled into the car and began the drive back to your place. it wasn't too long to your place, only a 20-minute drive, but being with spencer made it feel like half that.

"do you even remember what happened the last time you went to the bar with them?" spencer laughed.

"not exactly..." you grimaced. "just that you took me home, there was a bit of puking, and i coerced you to stay the night. and you slept on the couch, which is absolutely ridiculous! i mean, i was the one who practically made you stay, so shouldn't i have slept on the couch? it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before," you ranted.

"you're right, we have slept in the same bed before," he clarified. "but each time we did that you weren't drunk out of your mind," he sassed.

"ha-ha, spence," you mocked. "i did say i couldn't handle my alcohol. is there anything you wanna fill me in on?"

truthfully, yes.

there was something he wanted to fill you in on.

he wanted to tell you how you confessed your past to him.

he wanted to tell you how you kissed him right after...

and he kissed you back.

he could still remember the way your lips tasted, still covered by the vodka from the shots you took hours before.

but he didn't want you to think less of him since he kissed you back.

he just couldn't help it.

he'd been helplessly in love with you for so long, yearning to be with you as more than friends... as more than what he thought you wanted. but that kiss was his hope.

it was hope that maybe you felt a fraction of the chemistry he did. it was hope that maybe even if you didn't like him, you still had an attraction towards him in some kind of way. it was hope that maybe you would grow those same feelings for him.

but no matter how much 'hope' that kiss gave him, he shouldn't have kissed you back. he knew how vulnerable you were by telling him about your history of abuse.

you told him about your parents. about how they would throw you around when they were high, or drunk, or both. you told him about how they would call you worthless, a whore, stupid, good-for-nothing, basically every name in the book. but you didn't tell him about how you coped with the abuse.

so, when he told you how amazing you are to be able to turn your life around how you did, and how beautiful you are and always have been, you couldn't help but embrace him with a kiss.

you kissed him.

and he kissed you.

in a wonderful, vulnerable moment, he kissed you back as he'd always wanted to each night you spent with each other.

"nope," he shook his head. "nothing to fill you in on."

"i guess that's good," you shrugged.

he also wanted to know if you'd ever tell him about what happened when you were in your right mind. he wanted to know that you trusted him with your darkest secret that you accidentally already spilled to him.

although, maybe you should know about what you admitted to him. it was your life, after all. it was your past that you revealed to him in a simple drunken mistake.

"actually..." spencer started, taking a deep breath as he looked into your eyes. "you did mention something."

"okay... what'd i mention?" you wondered.

"you told me about..." he tried to find the right words to say. "about your parents."

"oh...?" you began to realize what you had admitted to him that very night, still not remembering the events that followed. "i didn't want you to find out like that..." you trailed off.

"i figured you didn't," he gave a small grin. you looked over at him hesitantly.

you thought about all the ways you could react to this. you could block him out and act like it was his fault you drunkenly confessed your past. you could ignore the fact that you told him at all and just move on, burrowing all the emotions inside of you once again. or, you could try to finally move on from what happened and how you coped with it by talking to spencer about it.

"when we get to my place, would you mind if we held off on the marathon? i should probably elaborate a bit more," you asked meekly.

"of course we can. we can do whatever you want tonight, y/n," he soothed, placing a hand on your lower thigh comfortingly.

you drove back to your place in silence, the both of you anticipating the conversation awaiting you.

when you finally entered your apartment, you both shed your coats by the door, hanging them on the hook, placed your guns and badged on the table beside the hook, and sat down on the couch comfortably. you crossed your legs, your knee up in the air, as spencer sat down with his knee touching the one still on the couch.

"so... how much did i say?" you asked curiously.

"you talked about the emotional and physical abuse, but nothing too in depth," he confirmed.

"when i was young, about 12, my parents got into a minor car accident," you began telling him about your past, trying to recall the memories with little hurt or pain. "they weren't at fault, it was a drunk teenager, but they each got addicted to their pain meds from the hospital. i would be asleep when they would come home from a night out, drunk and high out of their minds. i remember the first night it happened. i wandered in the living room, curious of what the ruckus was, and was greeted by my dad's hand slapping me across my face," you chuckled humorlessly, not knowing what other reaction was appropriate.

"he told me i shouldn't have been up or seen what they were doing. he was furious," you furrowed your brows as tears began to well in your eyes at the memory as spencer gingerly placed his hand comfortingly on your knee, scooting a tad bit closer to you. "after that night it became almost a pattern of his. he would come home and then get upset from his high coming down, and take it out on me. my mom just laughed and watched as he would hit me."

"eventually, they started just belittling me. they would say i was a coward for not standing up for myself. they would say i was stupid, or worthless. they especially liked to call me 'a waste of space,' i think that one was their favorite," you took a shaky, deep breath as you knew you were about to reveal for the first time to anyone what you would do to cope with the abuse.

"eventually i started to believe them. i started to believe the things they said about me. i thought i truly was an ugly, undeserving, piece of garbage," you turned to see spencer's eyes full of tears, mirroring your own. "i would self-harm because i believed them. each night after they were done with their own abuse, i felt so... frustrated. the only way i could get that frustration out was to do that. the scars are still there, taunting me of how weak i was to not just endure the pain," you finished.

you didn't even realize tears were streaming down your eyes until you noticed the few on spencer's cheek. he reached his hand up to wipe the tears on your face, ignoring that of his own.

"you aren't weak, y/n. you are unbelievably strong for getting through that. you have to know how amazing you are," he told you, demanding you to see you the way he saw you.

because the way he saw you, you were beyond perfect. you were so much stronger for going through that. if anything, knowing you went through that made him think you were that much more amazing.

and honestly, the way you were thinking is that when you told spencer, he might think less of you. he might think you were dumb for doing that to yourself, inflicting pain upon your own body to relieve yourself of pain.

that was anything but true.

"s-so you don't think any less of me?" you asked confused, looking into his eyes for any tells of his lying.

"absolutely not. if anything i think you're stronger now that i know what you've endured," he assured you, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he moved even closer to you.

"thank you so much, spencer," you said as you lunged forward, your arms immediately pulling him closer around his neck into a hug.

"you don't need to thank me, y/n," he started as he rubbed circles in your back soothingly. "if it helps anything at all... i think your amazing. i always have, and i always will."

"spencer..." you pulled back and looked into his eyes. "just... i need to tell you one more thing."

"alright," he nodded, prompting you to continue.

"i uhm, i'm in love with you," you bit your lip in anticipation for his response.

he didn't say anything.

he couldn't say anything.

he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how.

he didn't even know if you actually said that, or if you were just a figment of his imagination.

because at this point, he felt so much more for you than love.

he was infatuated with you.

but you read it as rejection, so you quickly unhinged your arms from around his neck and retreated into a ball while on the couch.

"i-i'm sorry," you said after quickly realizing the reality of the situation.

he didn't feel the same.

"you d-don't need to say it back. i shouldn't have sprung that on you. i-i've just felt that way for so long, and i thought that maybe you did too, but i shouldn't have assumed anything. i'm so sorry," you looked at him, waiting for him to say anything. to admit anything.

"oh god, and i just spilled everything to you," you ran your hand through your hair.

silence.

"i think i need to go for a walk," you said, getting up from the couch and rushing out the door after grabbing your coat.

you opted for taking the stairs to run outside, being the quickest option.

spencer was speechless, still sitting on your couch, dumbfounded.

he was overwhelmed with emotions.

you loved him?

he couldn't believe that someone so smart, so beautiful, so kind, so funny, so... everything would ever love him.

and he was too late to say it back.

he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that you loved him, so he just sat there in awe of this revelation.

by the time he realized what you had said, and was ready to say it back, you were already out of the door and down the stairs.

you were walking all too fast with tears flooding your eyesight.

you had just lost the one person you loved the most. the one person who's always there for you. the only person you've felt a connection with. you lost your everything.

by the time spencer ran down the stairs in an attempt to chase you, you were nowhere to be found. he could always call your cell, but he wanted to admit his undying love and affection in person, not over some dumb cellular device.

you didn't know where you were going, just letting your feet take you wherever they pleased. it had been a bit cold and you had left everything at your place, so you began rubbing your arms in search for more friction.

you were walking around a corner when you were pulled into an alley by some random white guy. with a harsh hand on your arm, you whined out quietly from the sudden pain.

you didn't have your gun.

"money! NOW!" he demanded. you stayed there with tears in your eyes, too emotional to speak.

your wallet was back at the house.

"are you too dumb to speak? i said MONEY!" he said, pushing a gun you were now made aware of into your stomach.

"i-i don't have my wallet," you admitted with a shaky voice, tears now streaming down your face faster than before.

the night was supposed to be another night with spencer, watching your favorite show and being with your favorite person. you were supposed to be cuddled up on his couch, probably falling asleep in his arms by now.

and now you were being mugged and were probably going to get hurt in one way or another.

"and why is that, doll?" he pushed the gun further into your lower stomach .

"i-i was in a r-rush. i s-swear i d-don't have anyth-thing!" you stuttered, trying to convince him to let you go.

"too bad... you've already seen my face. let's hope you have a nice nap," he growled before pulling the trigger, a bullet running through your lower stomach.

spencer was near you when the bullet went off. he was walking home.

you didn't even realize it, but you were walking in the direction of your love's own home when you were ambushed.

he heard the gun go off.

he naturally ran into the alley with his gun raised, ready to fire at anyone fleeing the scene. he managed to take the guy down with a single bullet before realizing it was you who was shot.

he quickly grabbed his phone and dialed 911 and demanded an ambulance at the corner of 5th and maine, alerting them that an agent was down.

"Y/N!" he yelled, running to kneel beside your limp body. "please, no..." he pleaded.

he put his hand to your neck in an attempt to find any pulse. there was a weak one. there was that hope again. he pulled you onto his lap, your body now resting atop his.

"stay with me. i-i didn't get to tell you how i felt," he cried as he put pressure on where the blood was coming out.

"sp-spencer?" you asked, barely regaining consciousness.

"it's me, y/n. i'm here," he soothed, running a hand through your hair to move it from your face.

"i'm s-s-sorry," you choked out, feeling your eyelids become heavier by the second.

"no. don't apologize to me," he told you. "i should be apologizing."

"it's n-not... your... fault," you felt your breath coming slower, the weight on your chest becoming unbearable.

"i-if i would've just told you how i felt..." he began thinking about how horrible a mistake he had made.

sirens were nearing, hope was becoming greater. spencer clung to your body tighter than ever as if holding you closer to him would will your heart to beat stronger, even if it was for just a bit longer.

"i-i..." you took another uneven breath, reaching your hand up slowly to wipe a tear from his face. "lo-love..." another breath. "you," you finished, your hand cascading down from his face and falling limp onto spencer’s lap, now accepting your own fate as the ambulance was now right outside the alley.

there was a moment when spencer thought maybe you’d wake up. you’d come back to him. but once they loaded you into the ambulance he had to accept one thing.

he had lost his everything...

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer x y/n #spencer x reader #sad ending

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daddyissuesingreen · 3 years

Text

Dominance (Derek Morgan x GN! Reader)

Gif creds: @idiosyncratique

Genre: Smut

Summary: Your friend goes missing and you end up in the presence of Derek Morgan

Warnings: 18+,SMUT, NSFW, Edging, swear words, masturbation (male and female), kidnapping

Word Count: 2,306

A/N: Here’s an original concept for Derek Morgan, it is very smutty, so read at your own risk. i tried to make the smut as general neutral as possible, i did make a few errors by including female pronouns, I tried editing them out, so if i missed any just let me know and I will fix it!

Y/F/N= Your friend’s name Y/L/N= Your last name

You live in the city of St. Louis, one of the unsafest cities in America.

Here in St. Louis there are a ton of robberies, shootings, and death, it seems as if nobody is safe at times, but you never thought it would end up being you or somebody that you cared about who would be somebody’s next target.

Y/F/N was supposed to come to your apartment last night, but they never showed, instantly you grew worried so you called 911.

“Hi, I would like to report a missing person, they are…” You started to speak, but were instantly interrupted.

“Let me transfer you over to Agent Morgan.” The dispatcher said.

Agent Morgan, the FBI is in town?

“Supervisory Special Agent Morgan.” A man spoke over the phone.

“My friend, Y/F/N, was supposed to come over last night, but they never showed up, I think they are missing.” You spoke, your voice cracking.

“Alright, I am going to need you to come into the station so we can ask you some questions, is that alright?”

“Yeah, I can be there in an hour.” You spoke quickly before you hung up the phone.

You quickly put your shoes on and were out the door, driving to the St. Louis Police Department, a place you hoped you would never have to be.

You walked into the building and were greeted by a blonde woman, “I am looking for Agent Morgan.” You say looking around the room.

“You must be here about your friend, I’m Agent Jareau, I will take you to Agent Morgan. Can I get your name?” The lady asked you while she placed a hand on your shoulder, guiding you to the interview rooms.

“ I am Y/N /Y/L/N.” You spoke softly as you entered the room and sat down.

“Alright, I will send Agent Morgan in a few minutes, is there anything I can get you?” She asked while she headed to the door.

“Uhm, no, I am good. Thank you, though.” You smiled smally and she walked out of the room.

After what felt an eternity later, Agent Morgan walked in and sat in front of you, “So, tell me about your friend.”

“Uhm. They are the quiet type, they don’t go out of their way to talk to someone they don’t know unless they have to, they only talk to a few people, they stay home a lot, they aren’t in a relationship. They would never just run off either.” You spoke quickly, trying to make sure you gave him all of the important information and then told the agent what your friend looks like.

“Thank you so much, this helps a lot. What about you? Tell me about yourself.” He looked at you and then in a folder.

“What? Why? How is that important to the investigation? You are looking for my friend, not me.” You looked at him and then the folder.

“Our technical analyst did some digging and you fit our profile. You are in your early 20s, live a secluded life, not a lot of friends, you were average in school, you didn’t party a lot, and we had a piece that wasn’t fitting, and every time we tried to think of something it wouldn’t make sense, that piece? We think our unsub is female. You.” He spoke calmly, but when he said, “you,” he pointed his finger.

Your jaw dropped open, “first, Agent, don’t point at me. That is incredibly rude. And if I kidnapped my friend, why would I be here? I have watched all of those stupid cop shows, I know that would be inserting myself into the investigation and that is what you guys look for.”

The man smiled, “Not this time. And your knowledge of how this all works makes you look even guiltier, so why don’t you just tell me what you did to your friend and the others that were abducted and I will see about cutting you a deal.”

“I don’t need a deal because I didn’t do it.” You crossed your arms and leant back in your chair.

“Okay then.” He smiled again and walked out.

If that man didn’t seem like such a douche, you might have thought his smile was pretty.

You watched the mirror, wondering what man was doing on the other side of it.

“They are refusing a deal? That is when they will break and panic about what prison they will be sent to if they don’t accept.” Reid spoke to Morgan and Rossi.

“Either they are really confident they won’t get caught or they are innocent. Maybe we should explore some other possibilities.” Rossi said to Morgan.

“No need.” Hotchner said as he walked into the space where the other agents were.

“Their friend was just spotted on the outskirts of the city, they said a man took them from their driveway when she was getting ready to leave.” He looked through the window at you.

“So, are we searching for the man?” Morgan asked Hotch.

“No need. They used a log she found while running and when he thought he caught up to them, she hit him in his head and knocked him out and when the officers went to go look for him he was still there. They are bringing them in now.” Hotch said and walked out of the space.

“I guess I better go let them know.” Morgan said and walked into the room you were in.

“Your friend was found and they will be okay, they are in the hospital.” Morgan spoke.

“Did they get the guy?” You asked and stood up.

“Yeah, they are bringing him in now.” He said and opened the door for you to leave.

You look at the man, profiling him like he did to you not long ago, “You need to stop being so confident that you’re right when you aren’t, I know it might be an interrogation tactic but it makes you look stupid, you also have to stop puffing your chest out to prove your dominance, because if we weren’t in a police station, I would dominate you. I’m not a little thing you can just boss around, that is where you were mistaken and that is why the piece fit. You assumed that I could convince people to come with me because I am not intimidating. I think you need to re attend your profiling class.” You said calmly and kept eye contact the whole time, further proving your dominance, what broke your eye contact was an older man laughing.

You turned and faced an older Italian man, “Keep laughing and you’re next.” You smirked and walked away from the agents.

After your experience with the agents you went and checked on your friend at the hospital.

They had obvious injuries and were going to need to see someone for a while after all of this, but other than that they seemed to be okay.

Your phone rang, it was an unknown number, you stepped outside of their room and answered it, “hello?” you asked.

“Hi, this is Derek Morgan I just want-” The agent spoke, but you rolled your eyes and hung up.

“Men.” You scoffed and walked back into your friends room.

“I am going to head home for the night, I have to feed my dog, but I will be back in the morning.” You smiled and gave them a small hug before walking out of the room and going home.

On your way home you notice a car following, “this day just keeps getting worse and worse.” You muttered before pulling into your driveway, pepper spray in hand, you got out of your car and walked to your door as the car pulled in behind your car.

A man emerged from your car and you immediately recognized him, “So the FBI makes house calls to annoy people they accused of being a murderer?” you laughed and put the pepper spray in your purse and opened your door.

The man also laughed, “No, I just wanted to apologize and say you were right about what you said earlier.” he scratched the back of his head.

“Hm. Which part?” You smirked.

“I was hoping all of it...if you’re up to it.” He also smirked and walked up to you at your door.

“This isn’t very professional, Agent,” you placed a hand on his chest, “do you do this after every case.”

“Not usually, but there’s just something about you that makes me want to.” He placed his hand on top of yours.

“And that is?”

“Dominance.” He said and kissed you while pushing you inside the door, kicking it shut.

“Oh. I see,” you pull away from the kiss, “my bedroom is down the hall, first room on the left, be naked when I get in there.”

The man just nodded, any alpha male dominance he tried to act like he had was instantly gone.

After a few short moments you walked into the room, stripping as you walked, and saw the man laying on your bed, already hard, waiting for you.

You smirked at the sight and walked to him slowly.

Once you got to the man, you sat on the bed beside him, looking at his cock and then his face. You grabbed his cock in your hand, spat on it and began to pump it. Derek became a moaning mess within seconds.

“Damn, baby.” He flexed his abs.

“Hm?” You hummed looking at him.

Humming. It gave you an idea.

You removed your hand from his length and bent over his cock and kissed the tip.

He looked at you wide eyed, but then nodded for you to do it.

You first licked all around the tip and massaged his balls.

You then began to suck just the tip, teasing the man who was very rude to you earlier, this is the perfect time to exact your revenge.

“More.” Derek moaned.

“I’ll do as I please.” You smirked and then licked his shaft, keeping your hand on his balls.

You then began to bob your head up and down on his cock, pumping whatever you cannot fit into your mouth.

You increase your speed when you can tell he is close to cumming.

“I’m gonna cu-” You cut him off by removing your mouth from his cock, causing him to lose the feeling of pleasure just before he came.

“What was that for?!” He chuckled and went to put his hand on his cock, but you smack it away.

“You don’t get to cum until I let you, and I don’t want to yet.” You smirked and then placed your hand back on his cock and started to pump it again.

The agent was once again a moaning mess, you watched him as he closed his eyes and began to breathe heavily.

You removed your hand and he looked at you, “Again?” he asked.

“I want you to get yourself off.” You smirked, grabbing his hand and placing it on his cock.

You watched as he began to jerk himself off. You felt yourself getting more and more turned on by the sight.

While you watched the man you could tell he was close again, this time you let him cum.

He let out a loud moan as he released.

You crawled over him backwards and began to ride him.

He went to grab your hips, but you smacked them away. “No touching.”

He looked at you with wide eyes, once again, but he obeyed you.

You bounced up and down on his cock, moaning like there was no tomorrow.

The agent just watched as you bounced, he thrusted up into roughly, earning a moan from the both at you.

While thrusting, Derek reaches your spot easily, something you were not receiving while it was just you bouncing.

“Fuck, Derek.” You moaned loudly.

“You’re so good at this.”

You grabbed his throat, squeezing light, earning a smirk from him, “Shut up, Derek.” You continued to bounce with your hand on his neck.

You felt him twitch while in you, you pulled off of him and laid next to him.

“Watch me.” you reached and began to play with yourself.

You played with it vigorously and moaned loudly.

Derek watched as you got yourself and grabbed his cock, but you told him not to and to just watch.

You let out a loud moan and came while Derek just watched.

“I want you to give me some head.” You said in a chilled toan and Derek just nodded.

Derek put his head in between your legs and licked your sex, you put your hand on the back of his head, pushing him closer.

The feeling of his tongue all of your sex was overwhelming and you quickly came again.

He pulled away and kissed you roughly before pulling abruptly.

Derek flipped you over and quickly pushed himself into you, thrusting quickly.

He slapped your ass and you moaned.

“Do I feel good?” You breathed.

“So good, I might just have to subscribe.” He moaned.

You both hear a ringing come from Derek’s pants.

Derek groaned and pulled out, “that must be my boss. I gotta go. Sorry, sexy.”

Derek got off the bed, as well as you, and you both got dressed.

“You know where I live if you ever want to do this again.” You chuckled as you walked him out.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He kissed your cheek as he opened the door.

“Travel safe.” You smiled out and he left your apartment.

What a night that was, part of you hoped you would hear from him again, but were also happy if it was just a one night stand with the man made of Chocolate Thunder.

#derek morgan #derek morgan x reader #criminal minds #cbs #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #david rossi #david rossi x reader #smut #fanfic #imagine

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adaodinson · 3 years

Text

Wrong place, wrong time

This is something I´ve been wanting to write for a while and I finally got the time to do so, wohooo. It´s going to have several parts and is based on the Falcon and the Winter Soldier. English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistake.

Summary: You needed to get in, seal the deal and get out. That would have been easy if a certain group of three men hadn´t been making business with Selby at the same time as you were.

Relationships: platonic in this chapter (different endings, you’ll choose) Bucky x reader, Sam x reader, Zemo x reader.

Warnings: Swearing and nothing else so far.

Part 1

Part 2

Again, your stupid brother had managed to get himself into trouble, oh but this time you had to be the one to go and save him. You couldn’t have just stayed at your small, cozy apartment and enjoy a good movie, you had to grab a plane, go to Madripoor, head to a bar and find a way to make business (thing you had no idea how to do) with a woman named Selby because your mess of a brother couldn’t stay still.

He had gotten himself in trouble multiple times before, but this time it had been in Madripoor, of all places. You just needed to give Selby the money, hear her make the phone call confirming your brother would be left alone, and then you could go, take your plane and head back home. It couldn’t be that hard, could it?

You walked through the crowd, dancing a bit to the music. You guided your feet towards the bar and took a seat. Turning your head and taking in the place, you noticed three men walking in. They were all ridiculously handsome, like seriously, and they seemed to be there together.

They sat across the bar from you, and you swore you felt their gazes in you for a few seconds, but you weren’t there to flirt, specially with the people that came to the bar willingly. You did laugh on your insides at the reaction of one of them when the bartender put a part of a snake in his drink. It was weird though, he ordered that because he likes it, right? You didn’t let your mind wander in that for too long, you needed to focus on your task, not on the deep blue eyed brunette, or the beautiful chocolate skinned with amazing features, or the handsome brown eyed with light colored hair. Jesus, they were freaking gorgeous.

-You! Selby will see you- A tall, scary man called you out, and as you walked you heard a fight in the bar, but you didn’t look back. The place was a mess, hallway after hallway covered in packs of money, drugs and things you weren´t excited to know about.

-I had never seen you before, what do you want?- An… extravagant woman (to say the least) asked fiercely.

-My brother, he is …-

-I know who he is, your last name sold you out-.

-Well, if you know who he is, you probably know why I’m here-. You didn’t know where that came from, but it came out way more threatening that you were planning, and that was great.

-Give me the money and I’ll deliver what they ask for- you needed to give specific stuff to the people that had your brother in order to get him released, and Selby knew that.

-Here’s the money- you said, showing the inside of the bag you were carrying- but make the call first-.

-Hah, you are not as incompetent as you seem-.

While Selby was on the phone, you heard steps approaching the room. It was the three men you had seen before. But why where they here now?

-Perfect- Selby said as she hang up. It was done, you just needed to get the message from your brother confirming he was out, but that would take a few hours.

You handed the money to one of the bodyguards, since Selby was talking to the three man, and just as you were about to leave, the worst happened. In the blink of an eye a failed phone call sold the guys out and before you could even process anything, Selby was dead, shot.

Your business was made, but you knew that just by being there when it happened, you would be hunted down. FUCKING HELL. The men raced towards the door, but the one in the large, fuzzy coat turned to you first.

-Listen, you need to come with us, you’ll get killed if you stay. There’s a price on your head just for being here- he spoke with what seemed to be a Sokovian accent (your brother had many contacts, you knew Sokovian people), but you were too freaked out to notice the effect his voice had on your heartbeat.

Without saying another word, he grabbed your arm and when you didn’t pull back he walked on. You exited the place and ran through the streets. Just when you thought you were safe, a rain of bullets fell on you and before you knew it, the same guy had embraced you and led you to a corner. You knew the other two man had no guns, so when the bullets stoped your mouth acted before you could think.

-Who stopped them?!-

-I don’t know- he answered.

You two left your corner and headed towards the group. A blonde woman was pointing a gun at the guy that had saved your life twice, so you reacted by putting yourself in front of him. That took him by surprise, him and the other three had looks that screamed “what the hell are you doing”. Before they could say anything, you talked.

-Listen, I have no idea who any of you are, but this man here saved my life twice in the past 20 minutes, so I don’t appreciate someone shooting at him without knowing why- You didn´t see it, but when you finished talking, Zemo had the biggest smile he had produced since he had been in prison.

-I´m Bucky, and, doll, this guy is Zemo, a criminal, a killer that tried to end the Avengers and succeeded in separating them- The blue eyed responded with a fierce look directed to who you now knew was called Zemo.

-Why is he not in jail then?- you asked with a tone that came out way too sarcastic than what you would have wanted. Zemo tried, unsuccessfully, to hide a snort at your words.

-Hey, we don´t really have time to convince you that he is a criminal- The other answered. He was right, it was clear they had many problems aside from the ones they had just gained, but you weren´t stupid enough to think you would beat bounty-hunters on your own. What you knew was that Zemo had helped you, and in your current situation, you couldn’t give yourself the luxury of denying help, even if it´s from a supposed criminal. You didn´t want to get in their way, and you didn´t want to get involved in whatever they were doing, but you needed their help. Those bounty-hunters were after you too now, and even though you knew how to defend yourself in the streets outside your apartment, you knew you needed help to escape Madripoor.

-Sam is right, you guys are clearly in a lot of trouble- The blonde woman said.

-We need your help, Sharon. Someone is recreating the serum and we need to stop them- Bucky said. The serum? What? You were confused as hell, and nobody seemed to want to explain to you what was happening.

-Ugh, I have a place in High Town, you´ll be safe there. And you- she said pointing at you- I guess it´s your time to leave-.

-WHAT? And where the hell I´m I gonna go?- You asked. You were panicking, if they didn´t agree to help you, you were gonna die. You noticed Zemo stiffened and he clearly wanted to say something, but he was waiting for the right time to do so.

-To your home, doll. Or wherever you wanna go- If you had been in any other situation, the nickname Bucky gave you would have turned you into a freaking tomato, but you were literally arguing for your life.

-If I try to get out of Madripoor on my own I won´t survive the next two hours. The same bounty-hunters that are after you, are after me now because I was with you when Selby died. I´m not stupid enough to think I can outrun them. Please, let me go with you. I promise I won´t be a problem, I just need help getting out of here and you’ll never hear from me again-.

-I guess you´re right. What´s your name?- Sam asked softly, almost empathetically.

-I´m Y/N-. You answered.

-Pretty name, it fits you- Oh so now Zemo talks. You smiled at him, criminal or not the guy was quite charming. Sam ignored him though, but Bucky gave him a look that would have made anybody else run in terror.

-Okay Y/N, we have some things to do first, but we´ll help you get out of Madripoor- Sam said as him and Bucky smiled at you. Again, in any other situation you would have melted right there.

-Thank you! I´ll do my best to be useful, even if that means staying out of your way-

Sharon sighed but she had a small smile in her lips. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, but you definitely made the right choice by convincing them to help you.

The way towards Sharon´s apartment was… strange. You had tons of questions, but you really didn´t want to get yourself more involved, so instead you tried making conversation, and Sharon seemed interested in your life. The three men were sitting in the back and you and Sharon were together at the front. She was driving.

-So, what led you to a place like Madripoor, and more specifically, to Selby?- She seemed to have no intention on asking the guys more about their problems, and you didn´t hate talking to someone that wasn´t another boring neighbor. She seemed genuinely interested.

-Well, my brother is the type to get himself into trouble. He managed to owe a guy so much that he threatened him, so I had to buy some things from Selby to give to the guy what my brother owed because if he shows his face in Madripoor he´d get killed at the first step inside- In your voice the pain and concern was evident. All the hearts that were inside that car ached a little bit, not just at your suffering (since you were, in the end a stranger), but also at their own.

-I managed to finish the deal with Selby before you guys arrived, now I just need to get a message from him to confirm everything is fine. But, of course, I had to be at the wrong place in the wrong time and I now got myself into more trouble than my brother. I´m sorry, I really am. It´s pretty clear you guys have a lot in your hands now, so I really appreciate your help, all of your help- You finished, smiling at Zemo. He seemed to want to smile at you, but your words took him by surprise again and he only nodded.

-Well, it´s the least we can do, you did find yourself at the worst place and time. And I hope you get that message from your brother soon- Sam said.

-Thank you, Sam-.

The rest of the drive was silent, except for the occasional complaints from Bucky at how close Zemo was to him. You couldn´t help but giggle and little did you know, whenever that sound exited you, the three men went silent just to be able to hear.

Sharon´s place was HUGE, and quite frankly, a little too much for you, but it was nice. You got a fresh change of clothes from Sharon (you were curvier than her, but she seemed to have something perfect for you) and without interfering, you heard the conversations going on between Sam, Sharon and Bucky. They clearly had many issues with Zemo, and he was completely aware of it so he too remained silent.

Bucky seemed to take some pity in your soul and explained the situation a little bit. A version of the serum that had been used to create Captain America had been recreated and they needed to find it and destroy it while stopping the group called the Flag Smashers that was using it to go back to the way things were during the Blip. After the explanation you had mixed feelings. You didn´t vanish during the Blip, and with all honesty, even before it you came from a pretty privileged place, so during it nor after it you never had a problem, but you were aware of how things had gone for the people that came back, and you couldn´t help but agree with Sam when he said he sympathized with the fight, just not with the way they were fighting it. They also explained more about Zemo, but again, you agreed with his fight, just not in how he fought it. You completely agreed with his idea that no human should have more power than others, especially in the already capitalist world we live in. People with a lot of money were a problem (not for who they were, but for what they have that others don´t) and adding superpowers to money could never end in something good.

They respected your opinions, and even agreed on most. But before you could continue in your conversation and Zemo on his listening, Sharon announced she would help find information on the name they had earned from Selby, so you needed to just blend in her party while she took care of that. You were more than happy, you loved parties.

The peaceful and wide space you once knew as Sharon´s first floor was now covered in all types of people dancing to all types of music. You had always enjoyed dancing and singing, but by the first minutes you had it clear that Sam and Bucky didn´t particularly love parties, and that Zemo had missed the feeling while in prison.

After unsuccessfully trying to convince Bucky and Sam to go to the dance floor with you, you headed towards the Baron and smiled widely at him.

-How long has it been since your last party?- you asked leaning closer to him because of the loud music.

-Too long for my liking- He answered, and before you had any time to react, he grabbed your hand and had you spinning around at the beat in a mixture of laughter from the both of you. All the time you spent in the party was also spent holding Zemo´s hand and dancing ridiculously to the rhythm. Both yours and Zemo´s stomachs were aching from laughter, and to all honesty, you never expected to have this much fun while being basically a fugitive.

If you hadn´t been so immersed in your fun, you would have noticed the hateful gazes both Sam and Bucky were directing towards the Baron. But they had said no to dancing with you, so this was their fault.

You had no idea how much time had passed, it could have been two minutes or ten hours, but you were having the time of your life when Sharon called you back with the information she had found. You all called it a night and went upstairs. She stayed down because she was, in the end, hosting the party, but the three guys and you were ready to try to sleep.

Before each one headed to your respective rooms, you checked your phone and discovered two things. As you read the first one your heart felt a calm you hadn´t experienced in a long time, but when the second one came in… Bucky had to catch you to keep you from falling.

Your brother was safe and sound, everything had worked out, but he had used his connections to now if you were alright and found something. You only needed to get away from Madripoor to escape the bounty-hunters, but after being put on the list of bounties, the Flag Smashers had you on the spot because they were now convinced you had teamed up with Sam and Bucky, so now, according to them, you were their enemy as much as Sam and Bucky were, so even if you managed to leave Madripoor, you knew you couldn´t just go back home, not without the guys at least.

#baron zemo fanfiction #helmut zemo fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #baron zemo x reader #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson #marvel #marvel x y/n #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu imagine #fanfic #fan fiction

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blush-and-books · 3 years

Note

high school au, pining, confession, car

i got two requests for this!!! so i hope it’s up to the hype. i always get carried away with hs aus. thank you anon!! ps. the song mentioned is chasing fire by lauv. a banger indeed.

It was Luke’s automatic duty -- like breathing, or walking -- to drive Julie home after a gig.

She was a new driver who was still uneasy about driving at night, and Alex would always end the night with Willie while Reggie and Flynn were always eager to delay their exit and have some more fun for a couple more hours. So when Luke got tired, and Julie and him found themselves hugging the walls of the venue or breathing heavily from a tiring set; it was customary for her to curl into the passenger seat while he pulled out of the alleyway or driveway.

It was also an excuse to spend 20 minutes alone with the beautiful girl, even if she would be half asleep sometimes when they drove home together.

Once in awhile, she would sneak him inside and let him stay over. (But they weren’t dating or anything, obviously, because dating within the band was terrifying.)

((Only because Luke knew that Julie held his love for music in her hands. And he didn’t know what would happen if he gave her the rest of him, too.))

Tonight, they had just played a party thrown by Julie’s friend Carrie Wilson, who happened to be the cousin of their ex-rhythm guitarist -- but a gig was a gig, and a lot of their classmates were going to be there, so it was a deal they were quick to take.

Following a six-song set and a lot of dancing, Luke felt a yawn crawling up his throat. Julie was standing off to his side, with her arm wrapped around his as if she were worried he was going to suddenly join the party and abandon her against the wall.

But he would never. In fact, he only moved closer to her and leaned his head on top of hers that was resting against his shoulder. When she offers her bottle of water, he gladly wraps his hand around her wrist to lift the bottle to his lips and hydrate.

“You wanna head out, Rockstar?”

Without even trying to yell over the music, she nods against his shoulder.

Warmth filling his chest, he winds his arm around her shoulders and leads her into the entryway where the coat closet lies. Slipping on both of their coats, he is sure to wave at Reggie and Alex as he slips open the front door and holds it open for Julie; signalling their exit.

Luke ignores the knowing grins he receives from his beloved bandmates, and slips his jean jacket over Julie’s thin sweatshirt after catching her hands rapidly rubbing up and down her arms to generate heat.

“No, Luke, keep your jacket. It’s freezing out here.”

“I’m hot-blooded. You’re right, it’s cold, so you definitely need this.”

Pouting, she tightens the wrap of the jacket around her. “You should just let me suffer the consequences of my mistakes.”

Jumping in front of her, he opens the passenger door as if it is a ritual between the two of them. “That won’t happen if I can help it.”

Julie just rolls her eyes -- she truly, painfully, has no idea how honest he is being.

Luke can tell she’s tired, so he does what he normally does and waits for her to start any conversation because he doesn’t want to push her. Soft music, Chasing Fire, plays through the speakers off of Julie’s playlist, and the lyrics seriously make Luke grip the steering wheel tight.

I was driving you home in the middle of the night, but I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye

What if he did that tonight? What if he just… Sat in the car, and told her he loved her, and waited to see how she would react?

It would be so stupid. But luckily, stupid is Luke’s middle name.

“I love these drives,” Julie hums into the cold air, contrasting with Lauv’s voice. Her words fog up the window that she is resting her head against. “It’s so nice. Quiet, and dark, and just the two of us.”

Wow, she’s definitely exhausted. Sometimes Julie gets a little loopy and sentimental when she’s tired, but shit -- Luke’s heart pumps against his ribcage with a ferocity that can only be caused by Julie Molina.

So, since it’s late, he’ll play her game.

“Why do you think I always jump at the chance to drive you home?” Beat. “I just like spending time with you.”

“Really?”

God, does she really not know? Does she really not see it?

Has he been letting her feel unloved all this time?

“I thought it was obvious, Jules,” he tries to smirk but it really just is a wince. “You’re like my favorite person.”

The girl in the passenger seat stays quiet, knees tucked into her chest despite the seatbelt because the seat has practically molded to her body at this point. She belongs there, next to him.

“You’re mine,” he hears her sigh. It’s so quiet and is almost completely muffled by the sound of a passing semi truck, but he listens and he hears it.

It shouldn’t be what puts him over the edge.

But it is.

“You know I love you, right?”

Finally, her head lulls to her left so that she can face him. If he was able to look at her longer, he would see her eyes shining as if she was about to cry -- but he has to keep his eyes on the road. “I love you too, Luke. You know that.”

“No, it’s-” His knuckles bleach around the wheel. “I’m in love with you.”

Again, more silence. Luke doesn’t chance glancing at her through his peripherals because he doesn’t want to see her disgust.

He wishes so desperately that he could be looking at her, as focused on her as he is when they are on stage or at school or not in a car where their lives are in his hands. The quiet sinks into his stomach like a lead balloon, and he has just convinced himself that he’s ruined everything as he rounds the corner into her neighborhood, when-

“You’re in love with me? Actually?”

Luke scoffs. What kind of question is that? “It’s kind of hard not to be, Julie.”

The car rolls up in front of her house. He parks and turns the key in the ignition to turn it off, wondering if Julie is going to take the chance to run.

She doesn’t.

The second that he shifts to face her, he catches her face practically glowing -- she’s teary-eyed, but she’s smiling, and suddenly she is leaning across the center console and pressing her lips agsainst his with her soft hands on either side of his face.

“I love you, too. But like, the way you mean it.”

It’s his turn to be shocked. “Really?”

God, her smile makes him want to kiss her senseless; but she beats him to the punch. He wants to push for more, but the chaste kiss she gives him before responding will have to do-

“It’s kind of hard not to, Patterson.”

Alex, Reggie, and probably even his parents would beg to differ.

But none of them matter, because Julie is in front of him, and she loves him like he loves her.

When she invites to sneak him inside as she has done many nights in the past, she holds his hand this time around -- and he eventually does get to fulfill his wish as soon as they reach her bedroom.

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horansqueen · 3 years

Text

Stuck With You - Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Tell Me

🡪chapter 1 🡪chapter 2 🡪chapter 3 🡪chapter 4 🡪chapter 5 🡪chapter 6 🡪chapter 7 🡪chapter 8 🡪chapter 9 🡪chapter 10 🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

Tell me what it's like to be with you Remind me of the things we use to do And tell me that this time will never end Tell me what it's like, tell me again

Everytime you stay It never feels quite the same And everytime you go It hurts a way you'll never know

Everything I fear Shows itself everytime you're here And everything I know (I know) Leaves with you everytime that you go

click here to be on the update list

NIALL

It was not easy to ignore her. I had spent days doing exactly that but now that she had pushed me away, I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like a creep whenever I'd find myself staring at her for a bit too long. How could I just forget about her and pretend that nothing had happened between us? How could I just pretend I didn't care about her anymore? That I didn't think about her all the time? That I didn't have feelings for her? It felt completely stupid to go on with my life as if she hadn't been the most important part of it in the last few weeks... as if she was not still a big part of it.

I looked at her as she walked out of our class, laughing with Daxia and Asher about something I didn't hear. She raised her nose up in a grimace and giggled a bit more but I just pushed my hands in my pockets, remaining motionless as she left. She was better than me at pretending, and if I couldn't remember the way she had kissed me in the elevator, or the way she had looked at me when she found out I paid half her rent, I would believe her. Luckily (nor not?) I could clearly remember all of it. The way she had ground on my thighs as we kissed deeply and how she had whimpered when my cock had swollen between her legs... The way she let me touch her, the way she sucked on my tongue when we kissed in our room... but most of all, the way her eyes fluttered when I placed soft and slow kisses on her lips after my claustrophobic crisis... the way she had looked so hurt and sad whenever I left for whatever reason... the way I could hear pain in her voice every time I rejected her. It was all those things that kept hope alive inside me. You can't just forget about someone like that, right? Not someone who had that effect on you, no, I didn't want to believe it.

I waited, hopeful that maybe she'd glance back, giving me just enough fuel to keep hoping for something, but she didn't, and I ended up walking back to my room only to grab my guitar and my notebook. I scribbled a few words quickly, the first things that came to my mind when I thought about Devon, and found a melody just as fast.

I stared at some of the words written and felt my eyes flutter as I breathed in. I tried to stop the tears and swallowed them hard before clearing my throat and rubbing my eyes. It couldn't be the end, I didn't want it to be, and now that Devon was ignoring me the way I had ignored her, I couldn't help but hate myself, knowing it was what I actually put her through, and probably even worse.

I took my phone and snapped a picture of my notebook and my guitar, wondering how Devon would have taken the picture and knowing it would definitely have looked better than the one I was now posting on instagram, but it didn't matter. Somehow, I wished she would see it and realize it was for her, but I knew there was only a tiny chance for that. I hesitated but added a few words from the song I had just written in the description part and blinked a few times staring at it, wondering if it was a mistake.

"Every time we get this close, It's always pulling us apart."

Turns out Devon didn't like the picture or commented on it. I was not really expecting it but I was hoping for it, but if I knew one thing about Devon now, it was that she was really stubborn. It was not what emanated from her the most, in my opinion, and it wasn't as important as her intensity, her feelings, her fiery, her empathy and her sensitivity, but it was still a part of her that I couldn't deny. I couldn't blame her, most artists were stubborn, I was slightly entitled myself, but her stubbornness was strong and I liked it, even if it caused a problem at that exact moment.

When Lewis invited me home to watch the game, I almost refused. I wanted to see Devon, but she had asked not to see me, and it would have been wrong of me to go to her place, knowing she didn't want me around her. I wanted to respect her and what she wanted, even if I was desperate for a conversation with her. I knew I couldn't force her to have feelings for me, or to act on them. It was on her, and begging her or harassing her wouldn't change anything. In fact, it would make things worse and anyway, it was not the kind of things I did. If Devon ended up giving me a chance, it would be her decision, the same way it was my decision to push her away and not take all the chances she already gave me. A bad decision, but it was all mine.

I finally accepted when Lewis told me Devon was leaving for the evening and even if I was disappointed, I didn't show it or mention it. I couldn't stop wondering where she was going and with who as I drove to my friend's and when I parked. I stayed for a few minutes, sitting behind the wheel, trying to stop the erratic beatings of my heart. I hadn't felt like that for so long. It felt like a heartbreak all over again, except this time, the whole break up was my fault and the problem was me. I leaned my forehead on the wheel and sigh until I heard someone chuckle.

"Are you napping before the game?"

I sat up and leaned my head on the bench before sighing loud enough for Louis to hear.

"You’re here for Devon, I'm guessing." I just let out without enthusiasm, not even looking at him.

"Nop, I'm here because Lewis invited me to watch the game."

It made me frown and I turned my head his way as it was still leaning on the bench. "What?"

"Ya head." Louis shrugged, glanced at the door of the building before looking back at me. "I thought Dev was going to watch it with us."

I raised my eyebrows and started my car again, shaking my head slightly as Louis got closer. "Hey, mate, where are you going?"

"Devon doesn't want me near, I'm certainly not going to spend the evening in her vital space and make her uncomfortable." I explained, putting both my hands on the wheel.

"Dev doesn't want you to avoid her."

I sighed again and turned my head only to meet Louis' eyes. "She was pretty clear."

"You know she likes you, right?" Louis raised his eyebrows. "She wants you in her life."

"But she made it clear she didn't want me around. I can't just go with your words, okay? I have to go with hers."

I couldn't pretend it didn't feel good to hear from her best friend that Devon actually liked me, but I was also aware that Louis wanted me happy. He had been taking care of me ever since that story with my ex girlfriend. I didn't know if it was out of guilt or pure friendship but either way, I couldn't deny that he was there for me, no matter what. I had been blabbing and complaining to him every single day since that stupid blind date at the restaurant and even if he was annoyed by all the shit I threw at him, he remained calm and collected, which was a first for him.

"You're right." Louis admitted, taking one last pull at his cigarette and throwing it on the ground. He pushed the smoke out of his lungs on the side to make sure it wouldn't come in my face and licked his lips. "You do give up quite easily though don't you think? She came back every time you pushed her away." he pointed out in a gentle tone.

"No, she didn't." I shrugged a shoulder. "We just ended up being locked together in random places."

"Maybe Lewis' apartment can be that random place."

I moved my head closer to the window and looked up at the building before sighing. "If I have an inkling of a feeling that she's uncomfortable, I'm leaving."

"Good."

I ended up in the elevator with Louis, rubbing my hands on the back of my jeans. I was more and more nervous as we got closer to his apartment and when Lewis opened the door, I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest by my throat.

I didn't ask about Devon but she didn't seem to be there and we all sat in the living room with a beer. There were a few guys from some of my art classes too, sitting on the floor, but I decided to sit next to Louis on one of the couches. I finished my beer quite fast and got up to grab an other in the fridge. My heart skipped a beat when I closed the door after grabbing a beer and my eyes got slightly bigger.

"Hey, Devie." I let out in a low tone, swallowing hard as my eyes roamed on her. "Uhm you-you look great."

"No need to lie, Niall." she shook her head with a sigh. "I don't know why I let Daxia convince me to wear things like that, this is so uncomfortable." She pulled on the bottom of her dress roughly but all it did was show part of her bra. She was leaning a bit and I let my eyes roam on her cleavage for less than a second before looking away.

"You shouldn't do that." I pointed out, clearing my throat. "It's- it's pulling it at the top."

She looked down at her breasts and groaned, letting her head fall back on her shoulders. I had to admit I didn't remember her with that much cleavage and I licked my lips.

"Are you.. are you wearing a push-up bra or something?"

She looked up in my eyes with surprise and her lips parted slightly before she moved her head slowly from left to right. "How did you..." she didn't finish her question and shook her head faster. "That's it. That's enough. I'm getting changed!"

"No wait!"

I grabbed her wrist, two of my fingers and my thumb wrapping around it loosely. She stopped and breathed in, and I wondered if it was because she was annoyed that I stopped her, or annoyed because of that electric feeling that probably crossed her body the same way it had crossed mine at the contact of our skin.

"Devie, you look amazing." I admitted in a low and soft tone as she turned around to face me. I hated thinking she was going on a date, and all the scenarios in my head made my heart sink in my chest, but I couldn't lie to her. I would never lie to her again. "You really do. You look beautiful."

She bit her bottom lip and nodded as I let go of her wrist and she pulled on the top of her dress again to cover more of her breasts.

"I'm sorry, Devie. I know you're leaving but, if me being here bothers you, I can leave."

She looked up again and her eyes met mine. She just shrugged and cleared her throat, looking back at everyone in the living room before turning back to me again.

"No it's okay, I know Lewis is your friend." she shrugged, grabbing her purse on the table. "I'm leaving for the evening anyway, so it doesn't really matter."

I remained silent and pushed my hands in my pockets, holding my breath. Was I allowed to look at her the way I was looking at her?

"A pair of shorts."

"What?" she asked with a frown.

"If you wear a pair of shorts under your dress, it'll bother you less that it's short."

"The problem is mostly that I hate my thighs but I guess you're not wrong." she chuckled, raising her eyebrows. "It's a good idea."

I waited patiently until she came back, walking by the kitchen and waving shyly at me. "Bye Niall, thanks for the tip."

It took me a few minutes to go back to the living room. No one had noticed I had left for a while except for Louis, who turned his head my way as soon as I sat next to him. "Did you tell her?"

"Mm? Tell her what?" I asked, staring at the tv as I leaned my elbows on my knees.

"That you love her."

I turned my whole body his way, now only focusing on him, and shook my head. "No, and I don't plan to." I explained slowly. "Louis, she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you and you know it."

I didn't answer and turned back to the tv for a few minutes and finally leaned my back on the couch. "You think she's gonna shag a guy tonight?" I asked low and a bit sad, looking down at my beer as I turned it in my hands.

"No."

"Why not."

"I know Dev, she's not like that." Louis explained, letting out a sigh. "Would you shag a girl tonight? A girl that's not her?"

"What does it have to do with anything?"

"Dev is a lot like you." he finally confessed. "I'm sure you've noticed before. You two react the same way, you've been through the same things... both of you gave up on love and both of you are completely in love with each other. You stopped having sex with Mandy because Devon is all you think about. Trust me, you're all Devon thinks about, too."

"She told you that?" I asked, closing my eyes and swallowing hard.

"She'd kill me if she found out I told you."

---

An other week without Devon, an other week getting drunk and complaining to Louis. I had missed a few classes and always ended up in the music room to write songs on the piano after everyone had left until very late at night. I would probably get denied the access to that room if they found out I was drowning my pain in vodka, beer and rum while I was composing but I didn't care.

On friday night, Louis had begged me to join him in class. He had asked for the keys to classroom to finish his work and apparently, he wanted me to write a song for him that he'd use. I had never written a song for kids before but I was always ready to try new things. Besides, Louis had been there for me a lot in the past few days and I felt like I owed him at least that.

The days were getting shorter and it was already dark outside. Weirdly, the hall was barely lighted but I noticed the open door of a neon-lit room. I walked in and noticed Louis, sitting on one of the desks. His lips curled when he saw me and I realized I hadn't seen a small classroom like that before.

"Neil, hey, I'm glad you're here." he raised his eyebrows, jumping off the desk and walking to me. "I really need you."

"Yea, of course." I frowned, looking around the room. "I mean we could have worked in my room, or yours?"

"Mm no, we couldn't." he replied, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and bringing me closer into a weird hug. "It really had to be here."

"Okay, you're being weird. It sounds like a bad horror movie. Are you gonna kill me or something?"

Louis chuckled as I looked at him and he took a few steps back, throwing his arms in the air.

"I'd never do that, Niall. You're my best friend!"

I took a step closer when he reached the hall and he moved his hand in front of himself, making me stop immediately. "Wait here a minute or two, okay?"

"Alright."

I sighed and sat on a desk, my guitar on my lap, and let my fingers slide on the strings gently. It's only when I heard a voice in the hall that I looked up and frowned. My heart skipped a beat when Devon walked by the door, her eyes covered with Louis' hands but I frowned and raised my hands up when I noticed Lewis, slightly behind them, who was telling me to keep quiet with a finger on his lips.

"Lou, I hate surprises, you know it." she let out, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Despite all the stress my friends were putting me through, I still found myself thinking about kissing her as my eyes fell on her mouth and I held my breath.

"Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them, alright?"

"Mmhm."

Slowly, he removed his hands from her eyes and I stood there, not really knowing what the hell they were trying to do. Devon didn't want to talk to me, she didn't want to be around me or hear about me, and bringing her here was not going to change anything, I knew it. It's only when Louis closed the door and I heard the lock that I understood.

"No!" I Iet out, jumping off the desk as I gripped my guitar tighter. "NO!"

I hit the door a few times without looking back at Devon but I knew that by now, she had understood what was happening. Our friends had decided to lock us in a room without our consent and I could feel myself get dizzy at that thought.

"It's not funny guys! I'm claustrophobic!" I yelled, hitting the door again with the side of my fist. "Let me out!"

"The room is big enough and there's like, five windows, Niall!"

"Yea!" Lewis agreed. "Feel lucky, at first we had thought about the janitor's closet!"

"Guys, it's not cool!" I begged, leaning my forehead on the door. "And it's useless."

"No it's not!" Louis let out as I closed my eyes and groaned low. "Solve your shit! I'm tired to hear both of you talk about each other!"

"Plus, we stole your phones." Lewis let out with a laughter. "I took Devon's when she was not looking and she just thought she lost it. Louis stole yours a few minutes ago."

I frowned and my hand reached for my pocket, realizing he was right and I just rolled my eyes. My heart was beating so hard I was wondering if it would just stop completely at some point. It was not a claustrophobia crisis though, it was just the fact that once again, I was locked with Devon somewhere but this time, the roles were reversed. She was the one who was avoiding me.

"Neil, tell her, okay?"

I didn't answer him. I just licked my lips and turned around, scared of what was going to happen. Devon raised her eyebrows at me and pressed her lips together, her arms wrapped around herself. She tilted her head and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Tell me what?"

Request

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan au #niall horan college au #niall horan uni au #niall horan enemies to lovers #my fanfics #swy

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ssa-daddyhotchner · 3 years

Text

The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 25

Chapter Selection

"I'm so proud of you", Aaron whispered into my ear as I laid down on his chest.

I was finished... everything. I passed top of my class in the academy and I couldn't be happier. He was by my side the entire time. I wanted to just stay inside the whole day.

But that couldn't happen, "I got to go to work sweetheart."

I shook my head and mumbled, "Five more minutes."

"I can't be late", I rested my chin on him and glared. "You're the boss... you can be a few minutes late."

He rose his hand to rub up and down my spine, "But I know you're perfect so... I guess you can go."

Rolled off of him, laying down on my back. He chuckled and stood up going into his closet and changing into his suit. The grey suit, white dress shirt and black shoes. "You're staring again."

"Cause you have a nice ass." We laughed and I sat up, crossing my legs.

"What am I going to do today", I muttered to myself. I really had zero clue, I could go out with Chloe and them but they have jobs now. Ones that require a lot of attention.

I was living at the apartment by myself since Chloe moved out a few months after we graduated.

Before I knew it Aaron pressed a soft kiss to my lips, "I'm going."

"Bye."

"Bye", I heard the door close and he was gone. I felt lonely within seconds, being bored out of my mind even though Aaron just left. He'll be back later.

When he left it was 6am, Aaron was always getting in extremely early and because he had just gotten back to work he was eager to catch up on the paperwork that he missed.

It was 8am when I actually looked back at the clock. Only taking a peak at the time when I got a phone call. I lifted my phone and brought it up to my ear, "Hello."

"Hello this is Section Chief Erin Strauss. Am I speaking to y/n l/n."

"Yes ma'am."

"Good Morning Miss. L/n. I'm calling in regard to a position in our Behavioral Analysis Unit. Could you be by FBI headquarters in an hour?"

I was in disbelief, believing in the fact that this woman was calling me. I only knew it was really Strauss because Aaron had mention her before. She had finished talking and was waiting for my response.

"Yes ma'am."

"I look forward to meeting you." She ended the call and I tossed my phone on the bed. I was practically jumping up and down. "Hell Yeah", I darted to my closet and started looking for clothes to wear.

I laid them on the bed and jumped in the shower. Wanting to look my best, getting out I put on some light makeup. Definitely covering the faded hickeys on my neck. After I was finished I locked up the apartment and got into the car.

Still having 20 minutes to spare, I was so excited I forgot to call Aaron about the offer.

Once I was there I got a visitors pass and found Strauss's office. I knocked on her door, "Come in."

I opened the door and took nervous steps inside. She was sitting at her desk, "Agent Y/l/n?"

"Yes ma'am", she stood shaking my hand as I got closer. Both of us taking a seat; she gave me an interview but I could tell she already was going to give it to me. Asking me questions on my education and personal experience.

"Let me take you to BAU", I followed her out of her office and down the hallway. Seeing multiple people, almost every single one of them looked intimating. "Here we are", holding open the bullpen door I walked in first.

Passing the desks sitting in the middle of the room, I saw what I assume was the team. Why does he look familiar.

We walked up the stairs and I read the name on the door, Aaron Hotchner...

And there he was, sitting behind the desk scribbling notes down on his paperwork. "Agent Hotchner this is Agent Y/l/n she'll be filling in the spot of Agent Jareau", Aaron stared up at me. He was holding it together for everyone else but I saw behind that.

He wasn't crazy about me being hired in his unit, he seemed more... upset. I swallowed hard, my mouth felt dry, "Well I'll leave you two." Strauss walked out.

Aaron stood up closing the blinds, "Shut the door." I did as he asked.

"What are you doing here?"

I was in front of him as he stood his ground, "She called me a few hours after you left saying she there was an open position for the BAU... I didn't know you would be here though."

His face got even sadder, "Y/n..." He said quietly. "We can't keep doing this if you're here-- working with me."

I was taken back, my heart sank with every word that spilled. "What are you saying?"

Taking a step back he put his hands in his pockets, "Keep dating..."

I felt the tears welling up and I could tell he could too, "Why?" I tried to keep my composure but barely held on.

"If you were here before we got together it wouldn't matter but y/n... you just got hired." He paused.

"Sleeping with your boss, the unit chief of the place you work isn't exactly going to go well-- for either of us, I'll be seen as the boss that took advantage of a younger new hire. The bureau will think you slept your way in and that's not how I want people to see you."

"You didn't have a problem when you were my teacher... remember that. Wasn't exactly a good spot to be but we made it work." He lifted a hand to his forehead, "That was different, I didn't work at the university."

My voice was strained, trying to hold back the tears. "Bullshit."

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be... please." I scoffed and the tear rolled down my cheek. I could see the restraint in Aaron. Trying to hold himself back from walking over to me and wiping my face.

I stepped towards the door, "You know what-- you're right." I pressed my back to the wall and stared at him.

Right there, that's when our hearts broke. I understood his position and what would happen if we were caught. His reputation would be ruined and mine would dissipate even though it hadn't even gotten started yet.

Although we both wanted to keep seeing each other this was a way of protecting us. I knew this job was important to him. We would still be able to be around each other even if we couldn't do anything about it.

Knowing deep down this was complete and utter bullshit... both of us thought that. Aaron was breaking up with me for the sake of my future career and that was...

I really didn't want to walk out of the office. I wanted to convince him to try anyways but this was a mutual agreement, this needed to end if we wanted to keep our jobs.

"So this is it." I muttered.

"Yeah", he said quietly like he wasn't saying it to me but himself. I stayed where I was recollecting myself before I put my hand on the handle.

"Goodbye Aaron."

"Bye", whispering. I walked out to the bullpen and joined the team. Throwing on a happy face I went to their desks.

They all crowded around talking about the new hire, "There she is." Garcia whispered before they all turned around to look at me.

"You were in there for awhile, was Hotch treating you okay?" Morgan said and I smiled and nodded.

Sucking in a small breath, "Yeah he was fine it. Told me a little about you guys." I lied trying to seem normal about what actually just happened a couple of minutes ago.

Everyone introduced themselves one by one. Each of them welcoming me with open arms, I heard the door open behind me.

My turned my head to the side and saw Hotch against the rail. Both of us getting a wave of regret.

I slightly nodded and went back to the conversation the team and I were having.

——————————

Permanent tag list : @errorcosplay67 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @wanniiieeee @oreogutz @qtip-blog @aberrant-annie

#aaron #aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #hotchner #SSA HOTCHNER #hotch #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #aaron hotch fanfiction #hotch x you

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hold-me-sickfics · 3 years

Text

14 Days: Taehyung

Hi guys! I’m really happy to be able to post this (somehow my internet came back, and I decided to post while I have it). I hope this is alright, I had a hard time writing it because I’m back home for the weekend and it’s hard to find somewhere quiet lol. I hope you guys like it!

TW: Food, Emeto, Nightmares, Slight anxiety attacks, Bruises are mentioned, (If there are any more, let me know and I’ll add them in!)

Note: Also, I wanna give some major credit to @thatoneemokpop-02 for all their help with ideas and getting me started. I kid you not, I was entirely blank earlier and in a few texts with them, they had me ready to write! Please go check out their writing, because they’re so kind and amazing and not to mention, they have some of the most well-developed fics I have ever seen. Especially their “You’re my Yellow” fic. I love it!!! <3

Prompt: “What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.” That’s Taehyung’s thought process when it comes to the other members. For the past several weeks, Taehyung has been having relatively frequent nightmares. Only these nightmares aren’t just “bad dreams.” No, they have him waking up gasping for breath, tending to an anxious stomach, and really whatever else bad can happen with nightmares. At first, he had a nightmare every week, but now it’s gotten to the point of every other night. Lack of sleep is catching up with Taehyung, causing him to really need some extra love from the other members. The only thing is, he’s too embarrassed and afraid to talk about them. Luckily for Taehyung, one of the members happens to find out on their own…

“Ladies and gentlemen, BTS!” The host gestured to the boys who were currently walking on stage.

Once the crowd quieted, the host began talking about BTS’ most recent accomplishments and asking questions to each of the members. As usual, Namjoon translated for them… mostly. BigHit had made a huge deal over them learning English and at least answering one question without Namjoon having to translate. Something about boosting their American support? The boys thought this was rather strange, considering their fans didn’t seem to care whether they spoke in Korean or not, but they did what they were told.

Taehyung watched and listened as the other boys answered their questions in perfect English, and the crowd squealed after every word they spoke. Then, it was his turn.

“Taehyung, let’s talk a little about you. A lot of fans, including myself, were absolutely stunned at your Singularity performance. How did you feel about the song? Any favorite parts in the choreography?”

Taehyung couldn’t breathe. He knew he was supposed to answer in English, but he couldn’t remember the words. Not even the first one.

He said his answer in Korean, hoping Namjoon would cover for him. Namjoon just gave him a look, seemingly saying “I’m not helping. Say what you’ve gotta say.”

Taehyung felt his blood run cold. Everyone was staring and starting to gasp… the cameraman looked worried as to whether or not to shut off the cameras and the members… they were looking at him… disappointed and somewhat angry…

Taehyung woke up unable to catch his breath. He was sweating all over, and not to mention trembling. His vision was blurry with tears.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He’d had a nightmare every night since Saturday (which was when their manager told them they’d be doing an English interview soon), and it was Wednesday now. He’d thought about telling the others, but he turned the idea down. He felt too embarrassed about not knowing as much English as they did, and he also knew they were exhausted and he wanted to make sure they got sleep. Or at least, as much as they could get. The boys already weren’t getting home until 11:45 every night, so when Taehyung actually could come home and go to sleep, he’d usually wake up around 2:00 with the nightmare, and wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after that. Part of this was because of his anxious stomach.

Speaking of which, Taehyung was now frantically pushing his covers off, and covering his mouth. He knew he had about 10 seconds before his late-night dinner would reappear. Luckily, he made it to the bathroom in time, and was able to kneel in front of the toilet. His knees had hit the tile hard, but he figured a couple bruises wouldn’t be as bad as having his dinner projected across the floor.

No sooner than his hands were gripping the sides of the bowl, was his dinner coming up and to the back of his throat. In one retch, he’d brought up a small stream. Followed by another, and another. Taehyung’s stomach was killing him, since he was so sore from having thrown up so much.

After what felt like an eternity, it was over. Taehyung rested his head on the rim of the toilet, and reached up with a sweaty hand to flush it.

Shakily, he stood up and looked himself in the mirror. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, then went back to his bed.

He walked slowly so he wouldn’t jostle his stomach.

Taehyung got into his bed, and pulled the covers up over himself. The warmth felt nice, being as his sweaty skin had felt like ice in the bathroom earlier. He decided to follow his normal routine after this kind of stuff happened…

“Siri, open LanguageGuru.” He whispered, his throat still sore from all the acid.

The app opened, and Taehyung spent the next two hours working on his English. Somehow, he’d gotten lucky, and at 4:30, he’d fallen back asleep. However, since they had to be up and out of the house by 6:00, he had to wake back up at 5:15.

When 5:15 came, he jolted awake, and went to the bathroom to puke again. It had just become part of the routine by now. He threw on a t-shirt and sweats, brushed his teeth, and combed his hair. Each action made his core hurt. Putting on deodorant was one of the worst parts, being as he had to put his arm up and then use his other one to put it on. Every motion felt like his insides had just been squeezed and beaten. By 5:30, he was able to head to the kitchen.

Jungkook just happened to come out of his room at the same time.

“Morning Taehyung!” Jungkook was awake… somehow.

“Morning Kook.” Taehyung’s voice was at a mere croak.

“Woah, hold on are you okay?” Jungkook gently took Taehyung’s wrist to get him to turn and look at him.

“I’m good. Just tired.” Taehyung hoped he’d believe it.

“Yeah, I don’t know about that. Tired is what Yoongi looks like right now… you look sick.” Despite popular belief, Jungkook was actually following in Jin’s footsteps as a lead caregiver for the group.

The maknae pressed the back of his hand to Taehyung’s cheek.

“You don’t have a fever… what else is wrong?”

“Nothing Kook, like I said, I’m just sorta out of it since I didn’t get much sleep.” Taehyung still allowed Jungkook to hold his wrist since for some reason, JK’s touch comforted him.

“I don’t think so.” Jungkook moved his hand from Taehyung’s wrist to Taehyung’s back. He rubbed up and down, and watched as Taehyung leaned into the touch.

“We’ve got dance practice this morning, but if you feel sick, tell me. I’ll get Namjoon hyung to let you come home. Alright?” The concern in JK’s eyes was shining.

“Thanks Kookie.” Taehyung smiled slightly, and then continued walking to the kitchen.

Jin was already rolling with cooking.

“Okay guys, we’ve got 20 minutes till we’ve gotta be in the car. I’ve made toast, and there’s bacon if you can get it away from Namjoon. Taehyung, Jungkook, what do you want to drink?” Jin was pouring “on the go” cups for each of the boys.

“Orange juice. Thanks Hyung.” Jungkook looked over at Taehyung.

“Coffee please.” Taehyung’s bags under his eyes seemed to be deeper and darker than everyone else’s.

Jungkook didn’t approve of Taehyung’s choice, being as coffee in the morning always upset his stomach, but he allowed it, hoping that it would at least make Taehyung feel less exhausted.

By the time everyone had eaten, it was time to load up and head to the studio.

The car ride was torture. Taehyung had developed a mean headache, and felt like he was gonna throw up at the first stop sign.

Jungkook had sat in the seat next to him, since he still wasn’t convinced that Taehyung was as “alright” as he said he was.

They were almost 15 minutes from BigHit when Taehyung’s stomach finally revolted. Before he even had a chance to ask for a bag, coffee and chewed up bacon and toast was spilling down his legs. Jungkook was quick to put a bag under his chin for the next round, but it didn’t come. That first one and a mean wave of post-vomiting nausea was enough for him.

Taehyung cried, and Jungkook just held him. Jungkook knew he was sick now, and he could prove it. Before he could even tell Namjoon, the leader had already stood up and looked back at them.

“Oh no,” the concern in his eyes was evident. “It’s okay Taehyung, we’ll be at BigHit in a minute and we can get you cleaned up. Jungkook, can you help him get to the showers?”

“Yeah Hyung, I’ve got him.” Jungkook was wiping the leftover vomit from Taehyung’s chin.

“Taehyung, bud, I’m sorry you feel bad.” Jin spoke up, as he came back from the front. He’d brought a water bottle out of the cooler and a paper towel.

Jungkook helped Taehyung sip the water, and Jin dabbed the sweat from the younger’s face.

“Hey, this is Namjoon…” he went on to tell their choreographer what had happened. (It was always a big deal when one of them threw up. That could mean they were catching a virus, and since their trainer worked with other groups as well, he had to be strict about that kind of thing. It was the same way a few months ago when Namjoon came down with the flu.)

A faint noise told Taehyung that they’d been given the rest of the day off, which they were all more happy about than anything.

Then, they got a second phone call.

“Oh hey um-“ Namjoon wasn’t even able to get a word in. Judging by his expression, whoever was on the other end was yelling- a lot.

“Alright. We’ll be there soon.” Namjoon hung up, and then turned to the group.

“That was the head choreographer.”

Jungkook was still holding Taehyung close. He never was one to let a little throw up bother him.

“He’s still bringing us in. Taehyung… I’m so sorry. He’s letting you take a half-hour to clean up but then you’re supposed to join us…” Namjoon knew they weren’t his own orders, but he still felt like the bad guy having to say it.

“I-I’m okay hyung.” Taehyung shivered mid-sentence. “It was just the c-coffee. My stomach didn’t like it. I’m okay.”

How he looked said otherwise, and Jungkook piped up to mention that.

“Hyung isn’t there anything we can do? We’re all exhausted but Taehyung looks like he’s gonna collapse the second he gets off.”

“I’m sorry guys… he sounded serious… I’d talk to him but it seems the only thing he’s gonna do is make practice worse if we keep bugging him.”

The car stopped, and all of the boys stood up. Hoseok had his earbuds in before, but now that he’d taken them out, Yoongi was quick to get him out of the car and explain to Hoseok what was happening before he saw it. Hoseok’s sympathy sickness was not gonna help the situation at all.

Jin and Namjoon got off as well, followed by Jimin who was headed inside to find some clothes for Taehyung to change into when he got out of the shower.

“Taehyungie, can you stand?” Jungkook sweetly placed his hand on Taehyung’s upper back.

“Yeah I’m alright.”

Taehyung stood up, and Jungkook came right behind him. Luckily, the showers were on the first floor to the left, so Jungkook and Taehyung got there quickly.

Taehyung undressed himself, and then stepped into the shower. The hot water helped to soothe his sore muscles. He used the time in the shower to calm down, and try to refocus on his main mission for the day. Staying awake.

“Hey Taehyung, I’ve got your towel out here and Jimin brought clothes and a toothbrush. I’m out here when you’re ready.”

Taehyung knew what that meant. They’d been called back, and Taehyung’s time for showering was over.

He stepped out of the shower, and Jungkook handed him the towel. He got dressed quickly, and he and JK went to the studio.

By the time they got to the studio, the choreographer had already left, and the rest of the boys were already being led by Hoseok in the routines.

“Woah woah, pause it.” Hoseok waved the music off, and everyone stopped for a moment.

“Feeling better Taehyung?” Hoseok asked, walking toward the two.

“Yeah. The coffee just got me a little. I’m alright now.”

“Okay but if you need to stop just tell me. Joon, can you hit play again?”

Namjoon hit “play” and they started practice up again. Jungkook kept a close eye on Taehyung throughout the day, wanting to make sure that he really was alright.

Rehearsal lasted until 8:30 p.m. When it was over, the boys loaded up and headed back to the apartment.

“I’m making supper for anyone that wants it.” Jin got the chicken nuggets out of the refrigerator, and started to put them in the fryer.

“I think I’m gonna go ahead and turn in.” Taehyung both dreaded sleep and longed for it. H knew he’d end up having a nightmare anyway, so he might as well get some sleep while he could.

“Alright, night Taehyungie.” All the boys said their goodnights, except Jungkook who went with him back there.

“You going to sleep early too Kookie?” Taehyung asked, his eyes already heavy.

“Yeah… hey um if you need me tonight, wake me up okay?” Jungkook gave Taehyung a tight hug.

“I will Kookie. Don’t worry. Just get some rest.”

The boys said goodnight, and Taehyung was asleep almost instantly.

---

2:00 rolled around quickly, and as usual, Taehyung woke up unable to catch his breath. He was crying, terrified once again of forgetting how to speak in their upcoming interview. He felt sweat coating his skin, and he was almost at the part where he pukes, then someone came in.

“Tae Tae, it’s okay. It’s alright. I’m here. Breathe.” Jungkook was at his side, holding him tightly. Taehyung didn’t know how he got there, but he was glad to see him.

“J-Jungkook?”

“It’s me. Taehyung, you’re shaking…” Jungkook’s eyes widened.

Taehyung felt the bile rise in his throat, and he quickly went around Jungkook and ran to the bathroom. Once again, he crashed down, and vomit spilled out of him.

Jungkook came up behind him, holding his middle.

“Just get it up Taehyung. It’s alright. I’m here with you.”

The vomiting part didn’t last as long as usual, and Taehyung attributed that to Jungkook being there. Soon, they were back in Taehyung’s room. Jungkook decided to sleep with Taehyung in case he had another nightmare, but they couldn’t sleep until Taehyung told Jungkook what had him so upset.

“It’s that interview on the 25th. I’m- I’m afraid I won’t be able to speak correctly… or at all.”

Jungkook’s eyes filled with compassion.

“How come you didn’t say anything?” Jungkook rubbed Taehyung’s arm.

“I felt embarrassed about not knowing as much as you guys, and I didn’t want anyone to be worried about me since none of us are getting any sleep anyway…”

Jungkook took Taehyung’s hand, and gently squeezed it.

“First of all, I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with this by yourself. I know it must have been scary. But now you’ve got me and everyone else. The truth is, all of us have been nervous about the interview. Or at least, I know I have. But that’s a good thing because it means maybe we can help each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve been studying pretty hard, and I know you have too… so maybe we can study together! Then if one of us has trouble in the interview, the other once can step in and help them out.” Jungkook smiled.

Taehyung liked the idea, and agreed.

“Good. We start tomorrow.”

After that, both boys went to sleep and thankfully, slept through the night.

For the next couple weeks, they worked hard together on learning English. Namjoon got them some extra time by firing their old choreographer and hiring one that gave them more time between rehearsals so they wouldn’t burn themselves out.

By the time the interview came, Taehyung and Jungkook both aced it. Including the part where Taehyung introduced himself.

“My name is V, and I’m good boy.”

#RPF #Emeto #Nightmares #14DayFics #Taehyung!Sickfics #Caretaker!JK #TW Food #Hoping to post JK tomorrow!#Slight Anxiety Attacks #Bruises mentioned

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phoebe-lou · 4 years

Text

A Forgotten Birthday

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Pairing: Number Five x reader

Summary: After saving the world from the apocalypse, Five struggles with living a simple life causing a strain on his relationship.

Word Count: 2009

__________________________________

5...4...3...2..1! Happy Birthday to me.

Sunlight shone throughout my room, and a gentle breeze drifted through the open windows. Looking over at the clock which now read 6.00am, I allowed a smile to grace over my lips. I had been restless all night and had been sat up worrying about Five like usual. I hoped today would be different, giving both of us one day to take a break from his obsessive apocalyptic nature.

Rolling over on my side, I was shocked to find the other side of the bed empty and Five's early morning 'signature' coffee missing. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I peeled back the duvet and groggily trudged over to the bathroom. After gently splashing some cold water over my face and brushing my teeth, I tossed my crazy-ass hair into a messy bun like a boss, and began the trek to the kitchen.

Expecting to be greeted with breakfast and a fresh cup of coffee, I found non other than a half-naked Klaus passed out on the table, and Five no where in sight. For fucks sake. I rolled my eyes and began making Klaus some breakfast as he'll need some hangover food to soak up all the alcohol. I decided to just throw in some toast and pour a glass of orange juice, as Klaus began waking up and mumbling something about his ass and chocolate pudding?

"Morning sunshine." I said with an amused smile on my face, whilst Klaus began to groan and pulled himself up into a sitting position.

"What rude bitch opened the blinds this morning?" He said after accepting a glass of orange juice I handed him.

"That would have been you, and your amazing Picasso skills last night I'm guessing."

Klaus looked up at the blinds to see that someone had cut them up to make some clothes, since there was underwear shaped holes missing.

"I was wondering what I was wearing, it's definitely not yours or Allison's."

"I think the yellow 'blind' underwear, really complements your eyes." I laughed winking at him, as I took the toast out and began buttering it.

"Danke."

"So what year is it again?" Klaus mumbled as he began munching on the toast I put in front of him.

"You mean the date Klaus?."

"Yeah that."

"It's __________ (insert birthday🥳)."

"Holy shit!" Klaus shot up, knocking his chair over and throwing the toast to the ground. Then sassily marched over to me, where he pulled me into a giant bone crushing hug. Jesus how does he wake up so fast?

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SEXY MIDGET."

"I'M ONLY 4"10, FIGHT ME BITCH."

"ALSO BEN SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

"TELL HIM I LOVE HIM."

*Meanwhile Ben just rolls his eyes*

"There is way too much Klaus and Y/N in here, this early in the morning." Diego huffed as he began filling up the kettle, not even bothering to comment on Klaus's attire.

"Good morning to you too Antonio Banderas." Klaus laughed and high-fived me.

"Besides it's only 7.00am." I smiled.

"Whatever."

"Oooo whose got your panties in a twist?."

"Anyway, Happy Birthday Y/N." Diego huffed.

"Awww you remembered, I knew you loved me really." I said forcing Diego into a hug which he eventually gave into. Suddenly another pair of arms wrapped around us. Diego became alarmed and shouted "What is wrong with you?!"

Klaus innocently smiled "I just wanted to be part of the moment."

"What's wrong with who?" Trust monkey boy to enter at this moment.

"I'll take this as my leave." Diego shrugged Klaus's arms off him, then subtly tilted his head at me, towards a card he placed by the microwave. Before marching off, after I gave him a beaming smile and a wave.

"Happy Birthday kid."

"Thanks Luther but you know I'm 28 years older than you."

"And your even more immature than Klaus, and trust me that's saying something."

"Rude. Hey don't agree with him Ben, you're supposed to be on my side." Klaus began to have a one-sided argument with 'Ben.' While I took this as a chance to slip out the kitchen and get ready.

*2 hours later*

Yes I'm high maintenance, and looking this gorgeous takes a while.

I finally finished my outfit my adding my new moon necklace, which was a birthday present from Luther (that was probably picked by Allison).

I sprayed some perfume and let my h/c hair fall down. Mission was ago. Find Five. Get drunk. Party. Have an awesome birthday. Go back a few steps and whoop Five's ass for no breakfast in bed. Perfect.

I looked through the entire house, where there was no trace of him so decided to head over to Griddy's Doughnuts. As I opened the front door, I walked into Allison and Vanya who immediately wished me a Happy Birthday and began planning a girls night out. Just what I need after putting up with all this shit, Five keeps throwing at me.

*Flashback* - Warning Mild Smut ⚠️

I was lounging across Five's bed pretending to read this boring romance novel, whilst Five was consistently writing long, complicated equations all over his wall. I wasn't expecting this is what he meant when he invited me over to spend sometime together. My patience was wearing thin, as I tried to tell myself that he was just not used to having a life outside of the apocalypse. But I went through it with him, so if I can learn to adapt, he should to.

Sneakily looking over at him, I came up with a plan to draw his attention away. Gently placing the book on the bed, I slowly walked towards him and placed my arms around his neck. It was no shocker that he immediately tensed up and his brows began to frown deeper.

"What do you want Y/N?"

"Not much." I whispered in his ear, as I ghosted my lips over his neck. "Just a little bit of attention."

Five sighed and tried to focus on the equation he was working on, which had now proven difficult as I began to pepper kisses along his jaw.

"Come on, enough."

I ignored him and began to drag my soft kisses down his neck, sucking a little harder until I found his sweet spot. Got you.

"Y/N...." He drifted off, as the pen dropped from his hands.

"Hmm?" I smirked and began grasping at his dark hair.

He finally turned around and smashed our lips together sloppily, as our tongues began fighting for dominance. He obviously won. His hands began to gently slide up the bottom of my top, just resting above my hips as he began to draw circles on my skin. Suddenly blue sparks surrounded us as I found ourselves teleported onto his desk.

He shoved all of his work out the way and began making out with me again. I gradually lifted my arms up, as he began to pull my top off...

"Y/N?"

"Y/N?!!"

My eyes fluttered dreamily as I looked over at Five who was frowning at me.

"For gods sake, did you fall asleep?! I wanted some help with these equations as you're the only non-idiotic person I know. Ugh forget it, of course it doesn't matter if there's another apocalypse." He whined sarcastically, and turned back around, continuing his work.

Five's writing came to a stop and as I launched my book at the walk near his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shouted, finally exploding with frustration.

"You're an ass." I mumbled. He rolled his eyes and teleported away, probably before he did or said something he'd regret.

I preferred dream Five.

*Flashback over*

Arriving at Griddy's, I locked the car and walked over to the entrance and went inside. Surprise, surprise my 'affectionate' boyfriend was sat with a mug of coffee writing equations on napkins.

"Well, well, well good afternoon handsome." Five looked up irritated and forced a smile.

"What is it?" Was he joking?

"I thought we were going to spend the day together, you said you had something planned last week."

"We'll have to reschedule or something."

"Hahaha very funny grumpy-ass." He didn't look very amused, as he sighed and took a long sip of coffee.

"Can we talk later, I'm kind of in the middle of something?"

Alarms were going off. He had forgotten. Maybe he needed a little more convincing and a few hints.

"Well today is kind of a special day." He looked blankly at me before he gave me a genuine smile.

"Is it national coffee day? Thanks for reminding me gorgeous." He smirked and winked. Was he for fucking real?

"Maybe you should get some cake with that coffee."

"The sweetness ruins the bitter taste I like." You bitter old bugger.

"Isn't there something you're forgetting Five? Some sort of special day, for a special girl."

"Shit. You're right. Meet me at the house in 20 mins." With that he teleported away. Well my work here is done. I'm expecting a decent last minute party though.

After wasting 30 mins shopping, I decided to head back and see what Five had done. As I entered the house it was really quiet, until I reached the living room....

Where Five sat lounging on a sofa drinking margaritas with Dolores.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!"

"Well when you say about a special day for a special lady, I remembered-d that it's been some years years since we found the lovely-y Dolores." He smirked cheekily at me and offered me a glass.

"Are you drunk?"

"No...."

"......."

"Maybe..."

"......"

"Yes..."

Just at the wrong time everyone came rushing in with party poppers, and balloons shouting 'SURPRISE.' I looked down to the floor with angry tears burning down my cheeks, I couldn't believe him. Everyone could sense the tension in the room, except for Five who still looked completely clueless.

"What's goin-n on? He slurred.

"Check the calendar..." I whispered.

I couldn't stand everyone looking at me with such pity so I went straight to our room, crying myself to sleep early.

*A few hours later*

I woke up to knocking at the door.

"Go away."

Hearing the familiar sound of Five's special jump I buried my face into my pillow.

"Can we talk...?"

"...."

"Please... Y/N."

"...."

"Can we just..."

"WHAT?!" I hissed, ripping the duvet off me to glare at him.

He straight away noticed my red, blotchy face, and long tear lines causing my mascara to run down my face.

"I'm sorry..." With that Five burst into tears. I'd only ever seem him cry twice so I wasn't sure what to do.

"I'm sorry-y... I've j-just been trying-g to be ready f-for something bad to happen-n again, as I know the c-commission wants order-r. We've both been-n to hell and b-back, and I can't imagine-e loosing you. I j-just wanted to keep-p you safe, but I've b-been so wrapped up in d-doing all these possible equations-s, that I've p-pushed you away.... Then I've been-n so preoccupied that I forgot-t your b-birthday..."

"Oh Five." I wrapped my arms around him as he began to sob into my chest. I whispered soothing words as I gently rubbed his back.

"You'll never loose me, and I'm not upset about my birthday that much. I honestly just miss spending time with you, and can't believe you prioritised coffee and a manikin over me you ass!" At this Five chuckled and began to calm down.

"You know I don't say it enough... but I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Five."

"Did you want to have that amazing party you've been telling me about?"

"Actually can we just spend the rest of today cuddling and watch a move?"

"Anything you want love."

"You were totally jealous of Dolores."

"Shut up Five."

_________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think 💖☂️

#number five #tua #writers on tumblr #the umbrella academy #netflix series #five hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five x reader #number five x you #number five x reader

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worldserasingandcreatinginmymind · 4 years

Text

Flesh & Blood | Part Three

Series Summary: A mysterious stranger with ties to your past shows up in your small village

Chapter Summary: now you know the truth about the mysterious stranger, but there's still more to learn

Pairing: Count Dracula x reader

Word Count: 2493

Warnings: mentions of blood, death

A/N: as always spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :) if you want to be added to the taglist let me know (please note I cant reply to comments using this blog)

Masterlist | Part Two

- - - - -

“I will never understand why he spared me, but I feel this is not the last I will see of the count”

You finish reading Sister Y/N’s story and close the journal, moving it back across the table to Zoe without saying a word. You couldn’t speak even if you wanted to, this was a lot to take in.

You both sit in silence for a moment, Zoe allowing you to process what you had read. After a few minutes you finally speak.

“Do you know where he is now?” You ask quietly.

“not exactly no” she admits “the last we saw him he was on the beach last night. We had him, well we thought we had him but he killed a young lady and escaped. We haven’t seen him since.”

“What does he look like?” You twiddle your thumbs nervously, afraid that her answer will confirm your suspicions.

“Tall, pale skin, black hair. Nothing to suggest he’s anything other than a normal man, but his eyes. There’s something about his eyes, they’re just so…”

“Dark” you finish her sentence and look at her “he was here, this morning he was here in the cafe. He knew my name. I convinced myself he just read it off my name tag but I don't think he did. The way he said it, it was as if he knew me.”

“Have you seen him since?” Her face is serious.

“No…” you shake your head but then remember “wait yes, yes while I was eating my lunch he was there. Outside, he was watching me from under the tree. I saw him for just a moment but then he was gone. I thought I had imagined it”

“Right okay, we need to get you away from here. I thought we’d have longer before he found you-” Zoe says as she starts typing fast on her laptop.

“Why did he find me? What does he want from me?”

“I don't know. But he’s a murderous vampire so chances are he wants your blood.”

“Oh my God I feel sick” you rest your head in your hands, trying to take deep breaths as you feel your heart pounding in your chest. Zoe’s phone rings and she answers.

“Hello? Yes. Where? Okay I’ll be right there” she hangs up the phone and quickly packs her stuff away, standing up. “They’ve found him.”

“Where is he?” You shoot your head up to look at her.

“In a house not far from here, I’m going there now. A car will be here soon to pick you up and bring you in”

“In where?” You ask as she heads to the door.

“The research facility where I work. You’ll be safe there.”

“No I cant go, what about my job? What about Maggie?” You ask frantically and Zoe walks over to you and takes your hand.

“It’s you he wants. Maggie, and everyone else in this village will be safer if you are not here.”

You look into her eyes, searching for answers but she turns and leaves you standing in the middle of the empty cafe. You bring your hands up to your head, running your fingers through your hair as you try to make sense of all this.

Five minutes later you see a car pull up outside and a man steps out, walking into the cafe.

“Ms Y/L/N?”

You nod your head.

“I work with Dr Van Helsing, she sent me to collect you.” He walks back outside and opens the back door waiting for you. You walk out the cafe and you're about to climb into the car when Maggie comes running down the street.

“Y/N? What’s going on? Where are you going?” She shouts as she gets closer.

“It’s okay Maggie, I’ll explain everything as soon as I can. I promise.” You walk over to her and give her a hug “if you see the man from this morning, I need you to run. Okay? Promise me.” you whisper in her ear before pulling away. She looks at you confused but nods her head. You get in the car and watch her from the window as you drive away, leaving her stood outside the cafe alone.

“Excuse me, where are we going?” You ask tentatively and the driver looks at you through the rear view mirror.

“The Jonathan Harker Foundation”

— — — —

About an hour later the car pulls up outside a magnificent old stone building surrounded by what looks like the remains of a castle. The driver opens the door and you get out the car, following him through the main entrance of the building.

The interior of the building doesn’t match the outside, its too modern. The corridors are busy with people in lab coats, some look anxious while others look excited. You’re led through them till you arrive at a set of doors where a smartly dressed woman is waiting for you.

“Y/N. I’m Dr Bloxham” she holds her had out to shake yours and you notice her other hand is bandaged up “we’re just about to start, come through”

She pushes the door open and holds it for you. You walk through into a big room set out like a lecture hall, no more than 20 people sat dotted around all dressed in the same medical looking outfits. She gestures for you to take a seat and you do, choosing to sit near the back. She walks to the front of the room and gives a brief introduction before a video starts playing on the screen. Two divers are seen looking at a box amongst what looks like a ship wreck under the sea. The box is opened to reveal a man lying dead. The camera gets closer to his face and your heart skips when you realise that the man in the box is the same man who came to the cafe this morning. As the video continues playing Dr Bloxham resumes talking.

“As you can see, even after 123 years the body was perfectly preserved…” she pauses as the diver on screen lifts the man’s lips to show his teeth “or so we thought.”

Suddenly the man’s eyes move and he bites down on the diver’s fingers. Gasps and groans of shock murmur through the room as blood is seen spreading in the sea. You clasp your hand up to your mouth suppressing the urge to scream. You don't want to watch but you cant take your eyes off the horror on the screen.

“The body was not preserved. Dracula was in fact alive, though dormant. Apparently in some kind of restorative coma, in which he would have remained if I hadn’t have been stupid enough to feed him. So in case you're wondering, yeah…” she holds up her bandaged hand “vampires bite.”

Your heart is pounding and your head is spinning. You feel sick.

You stand up and quietly leave the room through the same doors you entered. You start walking quickly through the corridors, trying to find a way out but as you turn a corner you bump into Zoe.

“Ah Y/N. Just the girl I was looking for.” She notices the look of panic on your pale face “Are you alright, what’s wrong?”

“I, I just. I cant, I cant…” you try to talk through your frantic breaths “I need to go”

She takes your shoulders in her hands and turns you so she’s looking in your face.

“Listen to me. Y/N. You are safe. We have him, he’s locked up. He cant hurt you” she continues looking at you as you slowly start to breathe normally. “Come with me” she leads you off in a different direction and you end up outside a large metal door with a big circle handle in the middle, like the ones you would find on a submarine. Above the door are three clocks. One shows the current time and the other two are labelled as sunrise and sunset.

Zoe opens a small window in the door and takes a quick look inside before gesturing for you to have a look. You peer through the window and there he is, the man you now know to be a centuries old vampire. Count Dracula.

He is stood in the middle of a large glass box, looking rather confused at the toilet that is in there with him. Around the room multiple armed guards are placed, all closely watching his every move.

“You see? He is contained, there is nothing to worry about.” Zoe reassures and you let out a small sigh of relief. Suddenly Dracula tuns and looks straight at you, lifting his hand to wave as he smiles charmingly. You take step away from the window and look at Zoe.

“Does this mean I can go home now? If he’s here then I can go right?”

“Well, we would like you to stay. We think you could really help us. But we can’t force you to do anything you don't want to do”

You look down for a moment thinking then slowly raise your head to look back at her.

“I want to go home”

Zoe looks slightly disappointed but nods in understanding.

“Okay, I’ll get the driver to take you back. But if you do want to come back at any time, here’s my number” she hands you a small piece of paper with her number on and you put it in your pocket.

— — — —

The car pulls up outside your home and you thank the driver before getting out and heading straight to your door. As you take your keys from your pocket and unlock the front door you take a look back at the village. It’s evening now so from the top of the hill all you can see is a sea of lights in the darkness. You head inside and crash down onto the sofa. You're exhausted. Then you remember Maggie and you go to grab your phone but remember you left it in your bag which is still behind the counter in the bakery. You groan and stand up, pulling your coat and shoes back on and leaving the house.

After the day you’ve had a walk in the fresh evening air actually feels really good. You reach the bakery and pull your key out which thankfully you kept attached to your house keys which you always kept in your coat pocket. You find your bag exactly where you left it and pull out your phone. 51 missed calls and a whole lot more messages, mostly from Maggie. She must be worried sick. You close up the bakery again and begin your walk back home, typing a text message as you walk.

‘Hi Maggie, I’m so sorry about this afternoon and I’m even more sorry that I made you worry. I’m okay. I’ll explain everything to you tomorrow once I’ve had a good sleep. Love you xxx’

As you're about to send the message your phone starts ringing, the caller ID is a number you don't recognise so you decline the call. Almost immediately it rings again, so you decline again. Your phone rings for a third time and you decide to answer just to get them to leave you alone but before you say anything you hear Zoe’s voice on the other end.

“Y/N! Where are you right now? Are you in your house?”

“No I’m walking home now, I had to head back to work to get my phone-“

“Get home right now and don't answer the door, do not invite anyone in. Do you understand?” She interrupts, sounding worried.

“Yes… but why? What’s happening?” You ask and you can hear shouting in the background, Zoe doesn’t respond. “Zoe? Whats going on?”

“He’s out. Count Dracula we let him go.”

Your heart drops to your stomach and you begin walking faster.

“His lawyer showed up and threatened us, we had no choice”

“his lawyer?” You question but she ignores you.

“Just get home now. I’m on my way to you” she hangs up the phone and you stick it back in your pocket, again picking up your speed while also trying to remain as calm as possible. But you cant help but feel on edge, the hairs on the back of your next standing up as every little noise and shadow makes you jump.

You swear you can hear footsteps behind you but every time you turn around nothing is there. You walk even faster. You hear a noise behind you and glance over your shoulder as you begin running. Then bang. You run into someone and hear a glass smash.

“you should watch where you're going” the bloke slurs. You try to just push past him and carry on running but he holds you in place “where do you think you're going, you owe me a drink” and leans in close. You can smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Look I’m sorry about the drink but I really need to go” you break free but he grabs your wrist, pulling you into the dark alley next to the pub “Get off me!” You protest and he pushes you hard against the brick wall, his booze drenched body pinning you in place as the back of your head starts to throb from the impact.

“You owe me for that drink”

“I’ll pay you back tomorrow I promise-”

“I can think of a way you can pay me back right now” he presses his disgusting mouth against yours and you try your hardest to push him away but he’s at least twice your size. His hands wonder and he starts lifting your top up.

You lift your knee up to make direct contact with his balls and he stumbles back in pain, clutching himself as he doubles over. You take this opportunity to make a run for it but he grabs your arm just before you’re free.

“You're gonna regret that, bitch!” He spits, pulling you back to him.

“Actually…” a familiar voice interrupt “you're the one who’s going to regret your actions”

In a flash of movement Dracula is stood behind the drunk holding him still as he releases his grip on your arm “then again, you're not to be alive long enough to regret anything” he swishes his hand across the man’s neck and blood behind to pour out. You jump backwards in shock. Dracula releases him and he slumps to the floor, his eyes fixed on you as he bleeds out. Dracula starts to walk towards you and you try to run but you trip and fall to the floor, banging your head once again. You roll onto your side, clutching your head with your hand and groaning in pain. In your blurry vision you see Dracula slowly approach you before crouching down so he’s close to you.

“Don't worry Y/N, I’ll take care of you”

Part Four

Taglist: @agent-smulder @kandomeresbitch @a-dorky-book-keeper

#dracula #bbc Dracula #Dracula bbc #dracula netlifx #Claes Bang dracula #dracula imagine #dracula fanfic #Dracula x reader #Claes Bang x reader #Claes Bang imagine #Claes Bang fanfic

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kalimagik · 4 years

Text

How You Get The Girl

Based off of the song “How You get the Girl” by Taylor Swift

Tom Holland x Reader

<4K

Warning: Some cursing...but a lot of floooof - I just love happy endings, so be ready!

A/N: Here is the second part that follows my last fic “The Moment I Knew.” I wrote these ones a while ago an wasn’t sure if I wanted to share them or let anyone else read anything until my friend convinced me to start putting them on Tumblr, so I hope you like it! It you do, like, comment, reblog, or follow. Happy reading <3

*Not My GIF! Credits to Owner

It had been about 6 months since Y/N left her flat in London to spend some time back at her childhood home with her family. She had hoped that being around everything familiar would help her to forget the past year and a half and life she had built in London. She had gotten drunk with her friends, but that didn’t help. She would wake up startled in the middle of the night by dreams about how things used to be. They seemed so real to her. Once the holidays ended, Y/N knew she needed to go back to London before the New Year. As much as she wanted to avoid the holiday by staying at home, she needed to get back to her post in London.

Once leaving the airport, Y/N found a car to take her to her flat.

“Could you take the bridge?” Y/N asked the driver.

“Are you sure? That adds 20 minutes,” the driver responded.

“Yes please. I’m in earlier than expected and am not due back for a while.”

The driver nodded his head and put the car in drive. Y/N looked out the window and with each corner the car drove by, the memories came flooding back. There was the coffee shop where she had met Tom. There was the market where they did their weekly shopping together. There was the arcade where Tom had won her a large plastic ring. There were just too many memories. Y/N snapped her head forward to look at the road ahead of her. The red light in front of her cab lasted forever, but that was fine with Y/N.

“Is it going to be alright?” Y/N thought to herself.

The glaring red gave her a feeling of the unknown. She didn’t know.

“Common, Y/N! Don’t do this!”

“TOM! I told you! I can’t just wait for the time where I will fit into your life. I need someone who makes themself as available for me as I do for them. I need someone who is committed to this relationship. Jacob and Zendaya made it for my party and they’ve been just as busy as you. I cannot take the excuses anymore,” Y/N yelled through the tears.

Tom had been in her flat for nearly two hours trying to plead his case, but it didn’t do anything to change Y/N’s mind. She pulled out the largest suitcase she had and started packing.

“Where are you going to go?” he asked.

“I’m going home, Tom. I need some time away from here. Can you please just give me that?”

“When will you come back?”

“I don’t know. I bought a one way ticket. I need to be near my family,” Y/N blurted as she threw sweaters into her bag.

“Sweaters? It’s summer time! Are you really going to run away from this?”

“I’m not running away! I’m finally choosing me! Can’t you understand that?” Y/N turned around to face him for the first time in nearly an hour.

“Can I at least call you? Or come and see you?” he asked hopefully.

I would really prefer if you didn’t. I need this time,” Y/N responded as calmly as she could.

“Will you call me when you come back?” Tom tried again.

“I don’t know. Good luck, Tom. Maybe I’ll see you again,” Y/N said with so much pain.

Y/N wiped the few stray tears from her eyes as the cab pulled up in front of her building. Seeing it for the first time in all those months just reminded her of why she had left. Nevertheless, she pulled herself together, picked up her bags, and climbed the steps to the place that had once felt like home.

Walking inside, she turned on the old lights, the electricity flickering after having not been used for so long.

“Hello house,” Y/N whispered as she took her place all in.

Not a thing had moved. Zendaya asked to stop by just to bring her mail in and the pile was all that showed that someone had still lived there. Sitting down her bags in the kitchen, Y/N went through her six months of mail to see if anything caught her eye.

“bill, bill, magazine, bill, six bank statements, magazine, invitation…” Y/N stopped as she looked at an envelope addressed to her.

There wasn’t a return address, but Y/N easily recognized the handwriting that spelled out her name. She flipped it over, trying to decide if she wanted to open it, when she read on the back flap ‘I’m really sorry. Please just read this…’

She couldn’t do it though. She threw the envelope back on the table and stared at it.

*RING RING RING*

Y/N jumped as her phone went off in her purse. Finally peeling her eyes off of the letter, she went to fetch it.

‘CALL FROM Momma’ her phone screen read.

“Hi Mom!” Y/N answered, putting on a smile even though her mom couldn’t see it, “I just got back to my apartment, haven’t quite settled in though.”

“That’s great to hear! I just wanted to check in and make sure you got back alright,” Y/N’s mom said excitedly through the phone.

“I did, thank you. I’ll tell you all about my trip tomorrow though, I’m feeling drained from it and just need to get myself settled.”

“I understand, honey. I’ll let you go! I loved having you home! Love you, Y/N/N.”

“Love you too, mom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye!” Y/N ended the call and let out a deep breath as she looked around again.

Before heading up to her bedroom, she sent Daya a quick text telling her that she was back in London and grabbed her bags to lug them up the steps.

*BZZZZ*

“Give me a minute!” Zendaya laughed as she walked away from her group at the pub to check her phone, “Oh my gosh…” Her face went straight.

“What is it?” Harry asked her as he took a sip of his beer.

“Y/N’s back in London,” Zendaya said just as surprised as everyone else at the table.

Upon hearing the news, almost every pair of eyes went to look at Tom.

“Did you know she was coming back?” someone asked him.

“No. I haven’t heard from her in six months. I was starting to think she wouldn’t be coming back,” Tom answered slowly, “Did you know she was coming back, Zendaya?”

“She had told me a few months ago that she was going to eventually, but never said when. I’m just as surprised as you to be hearing from her,” the actress answered honestly.

“Should we go see her?” Harrison asked almost timidly.

“She said she is turning in early tonight. It was a long day of traveling,” Zendaya said as she read the message a little further.

“Tom, you okay?” Tuwaine asked as Tom sat there silently.

“What do I do guys? I obviously still love her…” Tom finally said as he thought back on the last six months.

He could barely think about going on dates with anyone else, so he didn’t, despite his friends urging him to. He checked her social media almost regularly and asked Zendaya constantly if she had heard from Y/N. His work was just something he went to and did every day, but he didn’t care about it. It wasn’t the same without her there. He was a complete mess until 2 months into her being gone, his mom convinced him to write a letter with everything he was feeling in it.

He wrote down everything he wanted Y/N to know. He knew that she had asked him not to contact her, so he sent it to her flat hoping that she would read it when she was back in London. It didn’t make him feel much better because she wasn’t there, but it allowed him to continue on with everyday life even if he was still hurting. Hoping that maybe she would read it was really what kept him afloat.

“Do you think she read my letter?” he asked no one in particular.

“She didn’t say anything about it…” Zendaya answered, “but maybe she hasn’t gone through her mail yet. There was six months’ worth!”

Tom could just nod his head.

“What do I do?” he said hopelessly, “Do I wait until she calls me? Do I go and see her?”

“Let me try and talk to her and see where she is first, Tom. Don’t do anything too irrational,” Zendaya tried to talk him down.

“Fine. But I need to hear something about her soon…”

Y/N tossed and turned the first night back in her bed. It wasn’t that it was uncomfortable. In fact, it was like a cloud that had been puffed just for her, but the letter sitting on her kitchen table seemed as though it was screaming. Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about it and wondering what Tom had to say to her. Maybe that he had found someone else and moved on. Maybe that he didn’t love her anymore. Maybe to say that she had been wrong about the whole thing and he could never agree with her. Every possibility went across her mind and none of them were good.

Flipping over one more time, Y/N checked her phone. 2:30 AM. She should be sound asleep right now! Lightning flashed light through her curtains and her ears were filled with the sound of rain drops hitting her windows and the ground outside.

Letting out a loud sigh for no one but herself, Y/N threw off the blankets and got out of bed. She quickly went down the steps, flipped on the kitchen lights, and held the letter in her hands for a second time. She looked at it for what felt like an eternity contemplating whether or not she should open it.

Not bringing herself to do it, she carried it back up the stairs, sat it on her night table, and scrolled through social media to distract herself. She favorited some tweets and then switched to Instagram. That’s when she stumbled across a picture that Sam had posted around the time she got back. She could see the smiling faces of all the people she had met through Tom. In the middle of them was the smiling face of Tom himself. Y/N hadn’t really let herself explore the feelings she might still have for Tom. She had felt the pain for so long that she just wanted to be numb to the whole thing. This picture though, seeing him in a natural setting for the first time in months, opened the floodgates.

Of course she still loved him. How could she not? She had spent the last six months avoiding all thoughts of him, but apparently the simplest picture brought back all of her feelings. How could she know if he had still felt the same way? It had been six months.

That’s when, without thinking, Y/N grabbed the letter from her bedside table and used her fingers to open it up. She examined the few sheets of paper and the handwriting that was so clearly his.

‘My Dearest Y/N it started. Reading the words brought tears to Y/N’s eyes. She wouldn’t let herself sob though. She read Tom’s sorry’s and tales of how he was such a mess without her. Y/N’s heart opened for him, but the letter dated 2 months after she had left…A lot could have changed for him in the four months that followed. But he signed it ‘With all of the love I could possibly possess, The boy whose heart is always yours’ How could anything change that much?

*BZZZZ*

Y/N sat the letter down to look at her phone screen. It was Zendaya.

‘I see you’re active on social media at 2:30 AM. Go unlock your door. I’m coming over to see one of my best friends for the first time in MONTHS!’ the text read.

Y/N laughed as she could hear Daya’s voice through the text.

She quickly slid the letter back into the envelope and put it into her bedside table drawer. She pulled a sweatshirt over her head and went down the steps to unlock her door. She slid into the kitchen to put a kettle on the stove and make some tea.

“Knock! Knock! KNOCK!” Zendaya called walking through the door.

“In here, Daya!” Y/N called as she pulled out her assortment of tea.

“You are looking absolutely radiant!” She smiled as she popped into the kitchen.

“I look disgusting. I didn’t even shower the plane off of me,” Y/N laughed.

“I don’t think that matters. I haven’t seen you in six months! You look beautiful in my eyes,” she said as she wrapped Y/N in a hug, “How have you been? I’ve barely heard from you at all?”

“I’m really sorry for that. I was living in the moment at home, ya know?” Y/N tried to explain.

“I get it. Are you doing better? Are you here to stay?” Zendaya pried.

“I think so. I missed London. I missed my life here. I couldn’t stay away.”

“That makes me happy to hear! London missed you too! Plus, I am so sick of being around boys all the time! The group needs you!”

“Daya…” Y/N slowly said, pouring the water, “I don’t think I’m going to be hanging out with the group. I’m sure they don’t even want to see me…”

“What are you talking about? I was with them when you texted me and Harrison asked if we should come see you right then!”

“Wait…You were with them when I got back? So they know I’m here? All of them?” Y/N tested, not wanted to come right out and ask about Tom.

“Girl! You do not have to do that with me! Just ASK ME ABOUT TOM!”

“How is he?” Y/N asked timidly, blushing at Zendaya’s directness.

“He hasn’t been himself. You have to know this is killing him. He misses you. For fucks sake, he was asking me about you every day!”

Y/N looked down at the mug in her hands, trying to figure out how to proceed with this subject.

“You should just call him,” Zendaya interrupted her thoughts.

“I can’t do that. I’ve picked up my phone a million times…”

“It’s up to you, but he will answer,” Zendaya encouraged.

“Thanks, Z. Can we be done with this now?”

“Sure. Only if you tell me all about your time at home! Spill!”

Y/N smiled as she began to catch up with her with her friend at 3 AM.

Three gloomy days had gone by and Tom still didn’t have any word on the girl he loved. She’d been in London for three whole days and hadn’t called him. The silence was deafening to him. He couldn’t take it any longer. He needed to do something.

“Guys. I need to make a gesture. I have to see her.”

Tom was breaking as he stood in front of his friends.

“Have any of you heard from her? Haz, you grew pretty close with her. Can you give me anything?”

“Tom. If she had reached out to me, I would have told you right away. Why would I keep that from you?”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, mate. I’ve just been on the fucking edge. Why hasn’t she called?”

“I wish we knew. I really wish we did.”

As the boys contemplated what Tom should do, Zendaya finally made an appearance after three days.

“Long time, no see!” Harry joked, “Where have you been hiding?”

“I’ve, uh, been with Y/N actually. We had a lot to catch up on…” she responded, looking at everyone but Tom.

“Did she say anything about me?” He asked, hope in his eyes.

“Tom. You know that’s not my place.”

“Please, Z! I’m going out of my mind here. I’m trying to respect what she asked of me, but I don’t think I can much longer.”

“We did talk about you, but she wasn’t giving me much. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Thank you. Do you think I can go see her?” Tom asked.

“It’s up to you. I don’t know. Like I said, I can’t get a read on her.” Zendaya tried to explain.

“I’m going to see her. I need to. What should I say to her? I don’t want to come on too strong.” Tom asked.

“Tell her how you feel. Tell her what you know she needs to hear. I think it could be romantic,” Tuwaine chimes in.

“I’m going to do it. I’ll see you mates later. Wish me luck! Z, don’t tell her that I am coming. Got it? I can’t have her running away again.”

“Fine, Tom. Go get her.”

London was rainy this time of year. It was always rain or snow and today, the rain was coming down harder than the day that Y/N had gotten back. She had finally unpacked everything from her six month excursion home and picked up the packages that she had shipped back to London.

For the first time, Y/N was able to flop down on her couch and relax. She flipped on the TV to watch a Christmas movie (after Christmas). The sound of Anna Kendrick talking calmed her down and the sound of the rain made her eyes start to flutter as if sleep would come at any minute.

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

Y/N was so startled that she shot right up. She wasn’t expecting anyone, so she didn��t know who it could be.

Wrapping a blanket around her, she made her way towards the door.

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

Whoever this was, they were not very patient. Y/N looked out the peephole, but couldn’t see anything because of the rain. She unlocked each of the locks that lined her door and opened it up to come face to face with a drenched Tom.

“Are you insane, Tom?! You are going to catch pneumonia!” Y/N looked at him in shock.

“I need to talk to you and I will stand here until you let me,” Tom said while looking her straight in the eye.

“Come in I guess. I can’t leave you out there.”

Y/N opened the door enough for Tom to walk in. She had no idea what she was feeling or how she was going to be able to talk to him.

“What is it Tom?” Y/N asked as they stood in her front hallway.

“Please, please, just let me say this,” he asked.

“Okay,” Y/N nearly whispered as she wrapped her blanket around her tighter.

“It’s been the longest fucking six months of my life. Back at your birthday, I was too scared. I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. But love, I want you. I want every bit of you. For worse and for better. I will wait forever for you. I know that I completely broke your heart, but I will do everything I can to be the one to put it back together for you, if you haven’t done that already.”

Y/N looked at Tom with teary eyes. She didn’t know what to say, but Tom wasn’t done yet.

“Y/N. This is my absolute favorite picture of us. I couldn’t bring myself to change it after you left. I messed up so badly. I have not been able to forgive myself for it.”

Y/N looked at his screen saver. The picture had been one of her favorites too. It was their first Christmas together. Tom took Y/N to see the place in London with the most beautiful Christmas lights. She had been in awe and so excited at the same time. Tom couldn’t stop holding on to her all night. One of their friends had snapped the picture of them right as Tom kissed Y/N on the cheek with his arms wrapped around her waist. It really had been a perfect night.

“Y/N?”

She snapped out of the happy memory.

“I know that there is no excuse for why I wasn’t there that night and why I didn’t even call you. I had to of lost my mind then. There is no excuse for it. I left you all alone though and I was too much of a coward to tell you why and I’m so sorry. I don’t expect you to say anything to me right now, but I’m telling you, I will wait forever for you. You are my person. I just need you to know that.”

Tom finished his speech. He definitely hadn’t prepared at all, but that was how he felt.

Y/N knew it must’ve been so hard for him. She couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. Tom had just poured his heart out to her, but she didn’t know what to say. Was it okay for her to just go back to him? She was so confused. Her head was telling her that she couldn’t in order to avoid any kind of pain later, but her heart was a different story. Her heart wanted her to open her arms and take him right back into them. She hadn’t stopped loving him over just six months. He was all she thought about and cried about and dreamed about.

“Okay, I know I said I didn’t expect you to say anything now, love, but could you give me some sort of sign?”

Y/N realized that the two minutes she had sat there pondering, must’ve seemed like an eternity to Tom.

“I’m really just trying to gather my thoughts, Tom. I knew that I’d see you again, but I honestly didn’t know what to expect or what I would do. I don’t have anything to say that is nearly as beautiful as that, but I did miss you. I missed you so much Tom…”

Y/N finally looked up into Tom’s chocolate eyes, which were twinkling like when she first knew she loved him. Let’s be honest, she knew she couldn’t let him walk away. She still loved him. And the feelings she felt for him didn’t come around for people very often in a lifetime.

The tears fell faster from her eyes as she tried to wipe them away.

“Hey, hey. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Tom looked so worried for her. He slowly inched forward, putting out a hand to wipe the tears for her. He couldn’t stop himself. That was one of the things she loved about him.

“I love you, Tom,” Y/N finally blurted out, “I love you so much.”

Tom smiled the biggest smile that he had made in months. His heart filled with so much joy and he couldn’t believe that he has her back as his again.

Tom took both hands, one against her cheek with a thumb wiping the last of her tears and the other wrapped around her waist and onto the small of her back to pull her closer to him. Their lips connected, finally, after six lonely months. Tom got the girl.

#tom holland #tom holland fan fic #tom holland x reader #mcu #marvel #peter parker #peter parker x reader #spiderman #kalimagik #happy reading #new fic #songfic #taylor swift song

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chaletnz · 3 years

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Eastern Hokkaido Day 2: The Great Lakes

Now just from reading the title – I know that isn’t the official name but I have personally dubbed these “the great lakes of Eastern Hokkaido”. Comprised of Lake Akan, Lake Kussharo, and Lake Mashu they make up the central area of Eastern Hokkaido, joining Kushiro and Obihiro to Shiretoko by means of scenic drive.

The night had brought such difficulty sleeping, I even counted my breaths until I reached 150 and gave up hopelessly. I felt cold despite my heavy duvet and at one point when I was finally falling asleep I heard footsteps crunching outside and pulled myself awake again. I would be convinced I hadn’t slept a wink if it wasn’t for a distinct dream, about hearing people asking some Japanese ground workers where the onsen was. I gave up trying to sleep and packed my backpack for the walk to the hot waterfall for a bath. After 20 minutes through the forest I had reached the waterfall, well it was warm, but the pool of water underneath was unfortunately full of slimy algae. I found a spot where I could lean in and at least wash my face to freshen up then returned to the car. On the drive back out to the main road I stopped at several small viewpoints around Lake Onneto for photos and then made the drive to Lake Akan. There was a large parking lot at the edge of the Akan township so I left Kimbo while I explored on foot. It was still early, about 8am so nothing much was open except for a convenience store to get a croissant and coffee for my birthday breakfast. I walked down to the lakeshore where there were some early-risers already out fishing on the pier, but all of the motorboats floated sadly with no tourists to rent them. The sun was beating down already, so a shady spot was secured to eat my breakfast and then I decided to carry on, feeling a little unimpressed with Akan. I browsed a few souvenir stores on the walk back, and visited the Ainu (original settlers of Hokkaido) village where the only shops open were ones filled with hand-carved woodworks that I definitely could not afford. Next I visited Lake Kussharo which had a huge parking lot, a toilet block, lake and a clean onsen bath. This would’ve been a good place to stay the night! Unfortunately others had this idea already so there were a few people around despite Hokkaido being in a state of emergency. I sat at a table by the lake and watched a guy fishing, some grandparents and their little grandson were at the next table eating breakfast. The boy kept turning around to stare at me so I waved to him, he waved back and the grandparents were puzzled. They turned around and waved too, also shouting across a friendly “konnichiwa” which I returned. I drove up the side of the lake a short way to try another secret onsen but some guy beat me there by about 2 minutes so instead of seeing the onsen I just saw him filming himself getting naked and getting in the bath! There was also an old guy sitting in the carpark watching the onsen, presumably waiting for some ladies to use it...

I carried on driving to Lake Mashu, the viewpoint entrance sprung up on me and I pulled in a bit wide, not realising there was a box with an attendant inside. He stood up from his chair so I stopped and looked over but he started waving me down to the other end of the carpark. In the confusion I drove off and parked 200m away at the other end of the lot, I quickly jumped out and ran up the steps to the viewpoint to take my photos before he tried to charge me for parking. The view was breathtaking, even way up here above the lake it looked huge, with just one tiny island in the middle of it. According to the signs it would’ve cost me 500 yen to park there but I played dumb foreigner and quickly drove off to another viewpoint even further up the hill. The next one had almost the same view, but no parking fee! It was so windy up there though that as I tried to take a panorama photo the wind blew my shirt up and tried to blow it right off! Some businessmen parked behind me and followed me everywhere around the observation deck which was a bit annoying but the view was still great! As I drove off I thought about how I would rank the four lakes I had seen today; Onneto would be my favourite, it was so quiet and picturesque with clear water. Kussharo second, followed closely by Mashu and Akan in last place. The fog had rolled in as I approached my last viewpoint for the day – Kaiyodai Observatory. I couldn’t see much, but there was one of those binocular machines there that I used to see some cows grazing on a hill in the distance. For dinner I had chosen a large mall in Nakashibetsu where I went for McDonald’s. Some annoying guy in the line behind me tried to talk to me (well, just said a bunch of stuff in English while his friend laughed) so I just ignored him studying the menu and counting my change repeatedly! I ate my spicy chicken burger combo and then drove another hour or so to Notsuke Spit where I would spend the next night in the car.

#Japan #Hokkaido

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fics-of-my-mind · 4 years

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Trust - Chapter XII.

Just like at our last encounter, I recognized his unique scent before I even saw him. I imagine it didn't take him long to find me, not even with my face in the cover of my palms. When I did look at him, Nick was standing in front of me, hiding us from the prying eyes.

He was wearing a black suit with an also black plain T-shirt and he looked extremely hot. His hair was styled in its usual way, his stubble made him even hotter. Nick's posture was composed, but at the same time commanding. He stood with his hands in his pockets, giving me the illusion that this was just going to be a friendly, 'no-worries' chit-chat.

For a long minute, he didn't say anything and neither did I. His eyes didn't move from me as I was inhaling the cigarette smoke. He waited until the last drag, until I put it out, and tried finding something else to calm my recurring nerves now that Nick was standing in front of me, so close.

'Go, gather your stuff and say goodbye to your friends,' he said after, his voice quiet, but his tone nowhere near asking or suggesting. He didn't give me the chance of resisting – and maybe I didn't even want to have it. 'I'll wait for you by the back entrance.'

There was this sudden urge in me. To tell Nick to go, fuck himself, or just to simply walk away from him. He couldn't order me, he had no right. This wasn't just one of our fantasies, where he could just control me, hell, this was real life. And after these past few months he just couldn't expect me, jumping at his every order.

Except I wanted to. So badly, that I even scared myself a little. I wanted to go with him, I wanted him to order me around, to control me. Clearly, this was the submissive part of me, the one that only showed up when I was around Nick.

As much as I hated it, as much as the educated, stubborn individual in me wanted to say no, one more glance at his hard eyes convinced me that there was just no point. This needed to happen at some point.

So, I just nodded, going back to the crew and gathering my leather jacket.

Warnings: mature content, BDSM content Pairing: Nick Jonas / Other Female Character This fanfiction can also be found on Wattpad by fnntth

I don’t own Nick Jonas or any other recognizable characters. This fanfiction is completely fictional, its only purpose is entertainment.

Chapter XII. - Insane, inside the danger gets me high

Recommended song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzVQkO92wNw

I was the one that walked away, so me being hurt that he didn't reach out had no base. I still was, though. I've expected Nick to call, text or something, yet it was three days later and not a single thing happened. I've found myself with my fingers hoovering over his name in my contact list more than one time, but decided against it. Part of me was proud, the other – saner – part knew that nothing changed between us just because I moved to LA. I didn't move here for him, I kept telling myself. I didn't let him know that I was here for a reason. I didn't need more drama. I couldn't take more heart break.

So, I tried forgetting that it happened. I ignored Erica's questions on why I suddenly felt the need to leave, concentrated on work and getting myself familiarized with my environment. Days later I could almost perfectly clear Nick Jonas from my mind once again. There was only a microscopic chance of ever running into him again, wasn't there? Two times it could happen, but three... I didn't believe in those things, at least not anymore.

We went out with my coworkers (mainly Erica) three more times in the next two weeks. Two of them were dinners in edgy and cool restaurants, the third one was to a club, much less known and popular than the one we went to that night. All three times were amazing, though I was looking around like a lunatic, afraid that I was going to run into Nick. I was a little bit paranoid to be honest.

Almost exactly three weeks later Erica brought up the topic of going back to the first club, the OAK. I even surprised myself by agreeing. Ever since the first encounter, I've gotten more and more used to the idea of the probability of running into Nick again, and as surprising and unexpected it was the first time, I've accepted that what had to happen would happen anyway.

Not saying that I wouldn't feel awkward, or if I'd be able to handle the situation perfectly, but getting to know these laidback people, the LA crew, they somehow made me worry less. It was a sharp contrast with my usual attitude to things, but I really tried to fit in and to let loose a little. Maybe I needed it.

When on Thursday night we were sitting by the bar with Erica and a few of her friends and our coworkers, I felt so balanced. It felt like I was making friends, that I wasn't so alone as I felt, that I could really fit into this crowd. It was great, finding like-minded people in a foreign city, away from home. They made me happier, calmer, and I was having more fun than I've ever expected.

Actually, I was in such a relaxed space of mind, that I didn't even flinch when, from the other side of the bar I found myself once again face to face with Nick. He was looking at me from an approximately 20 feet distance, leaning on his elbows, a drink between his hands. I felt the grin freeze to my face, but other than this, I think I handled the situation better than expected. I was surprised – finding it ridiculous that this was the third time we were just running into each other if we count Barcelona -, but not nearly as shocked as before. Now I had the chance to prepare for meeting him, and made my peace with it as much as it was possible.

This time I did no turn my glance away, neither did I start running from him. I just sat there in my seat, with my coworkers around me, still talking about something, oblivious to the fact that I wasn't listening. All my attention was on Nick and him only. I don't think I saw anyone else from the hundreds of people around us, just Nick. His face was completely expressionless, yet he did not look at anything else, only me. His eyes looked at me with a hard glance, which I stood for what seemed like long minutes.

I only looked away when Max, one of the only – gay – guys from the office handed me another drink, making me turn my eyes to him. I thanked it, then took the drink and my purse and announced that I was going to go out for a quick smoke. I needed it, even if I wasn't as stressed as last time when I was in the same room with Nick.

Not turning around to see if he was still at the other end of the bar, I walked to the back area of the club, one of the designated smoking places. It was still quite early – barely midnight – so there weren't many people outside. I choose a spot by the wall of the club, hidden by some big and beautiful cycad palms, trying to get a private moment, and just inhale the calming smoke. I've been smoking less since I was here, which was weird. I didn't found it too important, probably it was because of the 'healthy' living style of this city.

I closed my eyes, trying to quiet my screaming thoughts, my screaming desire to go and find Nick and ignore any principles I've had before. This connection we've had... It was something I've never experienced before. Never did I believe it when you read in novels or see in series that they couldn't stay away. Something like that just couldn't be real. You couldn't feel that for another person. Except I did.

So, I just nodded, going back to the crew and gathering my leather jacket – something I couldn't let go of, even if we were in LA and it was still hot. I said my goodbyes and even though I was faced with Erica's prying eyes, I just smiled at them, saying that I'll see them on Monday.

Nick, loyal to his promise, was waiting for me at the back entrance, clearly to avoid attracting the attention. He just silently acknowledged my reappearance and stepped out of the way, letting me exit first.

'Are you okay to drive?' I asked when he lead me to a black, expensive-looking car, my first words to him this evening. We were, after all in a club and I did see him with one drink in his hand.

'Wouldn't drive you otherwise,' he nodded, opening the passenger side door for me. You see, with Nick, little gestures like this, like opening a car door, or putting my safety first... They were to blame for me having these feelings.

We got in and after making sure I've fastened my seatbelt, Nick started driving. He looked good behind the wheel, but then again when didn't he look good. The car was posh, yet not something that people would notice right away. It wasn't too big, not like a Range Rover – the go to celebrity car – and even though I paid no attention to the branding, I was sure that it was something American, after all cars from home were the cars Nick liked.

Neither of was saying anything, only the low sound of the radio broke the complete silence in the car. It should've been tense and uncomfortable, yet I felt more comfortable than ever since our 'no worry' day in Stockholm. Being here, close to him again, running into each other against all odds... I just felt like I had to be in this car with him, like I was in my perfect place.

I'm not trying to state that I wasn't nervous about what was going to happen, because I was. But Nick's presence next to me made my anxiety almost completely go away. It's not like things could be worse between us than they are now... Really, I couldn't imagine anything worse than not speaking to him for months – and this was a thought that calmed my nerves instantly.

I desperately wanted to ask him where we were heading to, but didn't find it in me to break the silence. I trusted him anyway, more than I'd like to admit. I was sure that he had a concrete idea in mind, and I felt perfectly comfortable with trusting myself to him. He made me feel safe, safer than I felt since I moved here.

Nick wasn't looking at me at all, so I tried focusing on the road too, not wanting to stare too much. It was extremely hard though, I wanted to watch him drive, hold onto the steering wheel and occasionally turn the volume of the radio up or down. I wanted to reach out, hold his hand.

We drove for about half an hour, through neighborhoods that I didn't recognize (no surprise there) and ended up at one of the spots on the outskirts of the city, where you have that amazing view to all of the lights. Like the place where they were dancing in the beginning of La La Land. The true LA spot.

I was surprised and quite honestly in awe of the amazing view. I could feel Nick's glance on my face as he turned off the engine, but I was way too preoccupied with the city before me. That was probably the first time that I felt some kind of love for Los Angeles.

He didn't get out of the car, just unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned back in his seat.

'What are you doing here, Milla?' he asked after a few minutes of letting me admiring the night lights.

'I was fired,' I started, not looking at him, but still out on the windshield. 'then I was relocated. So now, I guess, I live here.'

I made sure that my voice had barely any emotions in it, not wanting to get all emotional with him again. As much as I trusted him, the proud part of me didn't want to let him see, how much the whole thing has affected me. I'm pretty sure he knew anyway, after all he did know me better more than pretty much everyone else.

'Since when?' he asked, his voice not telling me anything.

'For a little over a month now,' I shrugged, not even blinking.

'Seriously? A month?' I could hear the annoyance in his tone. 'Look at me when I'm talking to you, Kamilla,' Nick said, which made me turn my head towards him without even thinking. He used my full first name, which was the first reason. The fact that his tone was authoritative and full of repressed anger was the second.

'Yeah, what's the big deal about it?' I asked, even though I knew exactly what his problem was. My words didn't exactly make Nick happier, instead he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. His beautiful dark brown orbs were glistering with many emotions, anger for one.

'The big deal?' he asked, frowning. 'Did it ever occur to you to tell me?! To not let me find out by making me think that I'm hallucinating you in some club?! Is that really too much to ask, hm?'

Nick was angry. He was actually mad at me. I've never seen him like this before, his eyes even darker than usually, his face prim, and his tone cold. I felt like a kid at his scolding, someone that was instantly regretting her actions, whereas I knew for sure that I did the right thing by not contacting him.

'What difference does it make?' I asked, raising my eyebrows, my tone annoyed with his reaction, with him thinking that he had a right to tell me off. 'It's not like me living here changes anything.'

It didn't. Our situation was still the same.

Sure, we were now in the same time zone, but this has always been just one of the obstacles between us. I had no idea why Nick was this upset, what he saw in this thing that I didn't, why this was such a big deal for him.

Nick looked at me silently for a second, his face still full of passion. My mind was working in a strange way, but in that moment, I wanted to close the distance between us and kiss him.

'It changes everything, don't you get it?' he exclaimed, his handsome face losing the control he so preciously treasured and letting all the emotions run freely. 'Fuck,' Nick mumbled, and without another word to me opened the door of the fancy car and got out, shutting it behind him with a bang.

I was shocked. Probably because I've never seen him be this upset, or because I didn't understand where most of his anger was coming from, but I felt really confused. Nick started pacing in front of the wooden fence, keeping us from falling down hill-side. I gave him a few minutes, using the time to regain my composure after his sudden outburst.

When I followed him and got out of the car, closing the door behind me much softer, he turned towards me for a moment, then stopped in his place, in front of a wooden table and bench, leaning to the table. This time he was the one not looking at me.

'Nick–' I started, but he cut into my words immediately.

'After I saw you in the club,' he started much calmer than a few minutes ago. I walked around the car, stepping closer to him, but keeping a good two feet distance. I wanted to be closer, to hold his hand, to kiss him, yet I had to control myself. One of us at least had to hold on to the control. 'I went home to Priyanka and... I couldn't do it,' he said, slowly shaking his head.

Not like I expected him to suddenly break off his marriage. That wasn't the reason I moved here and honestly I was shocked that he'd even think so.

'It's okay, I—' was cut off again.

'I told her that I couldn't call myself her husband in good conscience when I was having feelings for another woman.' This was the moment he raised his brutally honest glance to meet mine. I froze. He. What. I... I parted my lips, then closed them again, not finding my voice. 'She left the next morning. She's been in India ever since. We're separated.'

Nick told this with objectivity, clearly making sure that no emotions were audible in his voice. I could see that he was waiting for a reaction from me, but I wasn't sure that once I found my voice I'm going to be able to respond the way he expected me to.

He left his wife. He did it. He left his wife, Priyanka Chopra for me, without talking to me at all. True, I was the one that ran away three weeks ago, but still. My brain froze, trying to process this information.

I was so... startled. I felt the sea of emotions, anger, relief, guilt, nausea happiness, love. This wasn't something I would've expected, not in a million years. And as in awe as I was, part of me was also annoyed with him for this.

'What do you expect me to say?' I asked eventually, still keeping my distance from him and crossing my arms in front of my chest. Nick raised his eyebrows at me.

'Well, a little more than this, to be honest,' he said quite coldly, making me even more furious. 'I did, after all, just leave my wife...'

'I've never asked you to!' I exclaimed. 'You knew it, you knew that I never wanted to be the woman you leave your wife for! I never wanted to break your marriage!' I was shouting at him and I felt gratitude that he brought us to a place where there were no people other than us.

How could he do this? I couldn't understand, I just couldn't. He spent months lying to his wife, then another few months trying to fix their marriage that she didn't even know was broken. And after just seeing me at some club, he suddenly decides he just can't take it? What was this? What was going on in his mind?

'I didn't leave her for you!' he screamed back. 'I left her to be able to look into the mirror. I finally did the fucking right thing and this is what you are angry with me for?!' I looked at him with parted lips. Was he really, doing the right thing? Was this how things should've happened from the first night? 'This is just about you being scared again,' he added in a much quieter tone.

'I'm not scared!'

'Really?' Nick raised his eyebrows. 'Not calling me to tell me you moved here, running away when you see me at the club, being angry when the last thing keeping us from having a chance gets out of the picture... It seems to me, Dear, that you are, in fact, terrified of this turning into something real.'

I was. I was terrified of this. Never being in love, only experiencing heartbreak and never unconditional love in my life... Having almost zero experience... These things didn't exactly make me confident about starting anything with anyone, especially with Nick. And him, the person that knew about my history, about my doubts and fears being the one to throw it at me, felt like he just betrayed my trust a little.

'Fuck you, Nick,' was all I could say, then I turned around and starting to walk back to the passenger side.

I only got a few steps away when I was yanked back by my arm with such force that I collided into Nick's muscular chest. There was a moment of pause, my hands on his chest, one of his still on my arm, while the other around my waist, us looking deeply into each other's eyes.

I knew what was next and as much as I wanted to walk away from him, as furious I currently was with him, I couldn't stop it. After all these months, after imagining this moment for thousands of times, I wanted this. I longed for this, I needed this. And, after not finding real resistance in my eyes, Nick was the one closing the distance between us.

The moment his lips touched mine, every last bit of my anger towards him was gone. He pulled me closer by the waist, running his other hand from my upper arm into my hair, trying to make sure there was absolutely no distance between us. First it was just out lips that touched, savoring each other. Nick tasted like sweet, like peppermint, bubble gum and whiskey. God, I never wanted to let him go.

When Nick's tongue asked for permission, I instantly granted it. The moment our tongues touched, I couldn't hold back a deep moan, running one of my hands to the back of his hair, which earned a groan from him, while gripping onto his T-shirt's material with my other hand.

It was extremely hot, sloppy, yet such a turn on that I was sure my panties were already ruined. It didn't stop me from grinding up against Nick, especially after he spread my legs with one of his thighs between mines. When one of his hands slipped down to my bum, pushing me even harder onto his thigh, creating friction – yay black mini dress – I couldn't help but gasp. I felt Nick's excitement by my abdomen and as hot and steamy as this was, and as much as I wanted him, this wasn't the place or the time.

This kiss was everything I was waiting for the past months, ever since I met Nick – well, probably even before that - and I never wanted to let him go. When neither of us could catch any more air, we slightly parted, our foreheads leaning onto each other. I was still tangled in him, his leg not moving from between mines, his hands resting on my waist, while my hands laced behind his neck. Even our lips were still lightly touching as we both grasped for air.

'I don't want you to be scared,' Nick mumbled softly on my lips with so much affection in his eyes that I could almost feel myself blush. 'Not with me.' I was still at a loss for words, so I just nodded. As scared as I was of this, Nick was the person I trusted the most on this word. 'Let's get you home.'

The ride to my apartment was similar to the one here, except the moment we sat inside the car, Nick reached out and laced our fingers. I couldn't hide the stupid smile from my face and he looked much more relaxed too.

Not like anything was resolved between us. Not like we got anywhere. But quite honestly, I didn't care. The boy I've been in love with for way too long has just told me that he was technically single, and that he had feelings for me. He just kissed me. And I wanted to enjoy this moment. I had time to worry tomorrow.

'I'll walk you to the door,' he announced the moment the car stopped in front of my apartment building and got out right away, walking around the car and opening the door for me.

'I want to invite you in so badly,' I said, when we reached my door. It was true, I wanted him to come inside and never leave. 'But...'

'You need to think,' Nick nodded, immediately understanding. 'It's okay, Dear,' he said with a soft smile on his face, still holding my hand. 'How about I come over tomorrow afternoon?'

'Okay,' I nodded, smiling up at him, deep into his beautiful eyes. I had so many things I wanted to say to him, to do to him. 'Nick, I...'

'Shh,' he shushed me, as if recognizing that my head was all around the place. Nick stepped forward, closing the distance between us and kissing me on the forehead delicately. 'We'll talk tomorrow, okay?' I just nodded, the urge to kiss him flaming up once again. I stepped even closer, minimizing the distance between us, and standing on my tiptoes – in my heels – so I could reach his lips. Nick didn't pull away.

This kiss was much more innocent than the one before, our lips barely touching, yet it felt so intimate. Nick's hands were on my waist, while mines rested on his upper arm and neck. It didn't last for long, yet it was the perfect ending to this night. Nick gently pushed me away before it could get any more heated.

'I need to leave, or you won't be able to stop me from fucking you right now,' he mumbled onto my lips, sending heat through my body with his words. Would that be such a bad thing? I wanted him, he clearly wanted me. There was no Priyanka to stop us.

'Who says I want to stop you?' I asked with a playful smile on my face, raising my eyebrows. Nick stepped back a little.

'The first time I'm inside you after all this time,' he started, never moving his glance from mine. I could feel the blush creeping onto my face. 'I don't want it to be in the heat of the moment. I want it to be just like you and I both imagined it.'

'And how would that be?' I licked my lips, which made his gaze instantly lower, following my actions.

'Passionate, raw, earth shattering,' he chuckled. Nick raised his hand, running a finger on my chin, not letting me move my glance from his eyes. 'When we're having sex, I don't want your mind racing. I don't want you worrying, or thinking about the outside world. I want to be the only thing on your mind. And if we let it happen now, that wouldn't be true. Your thoughts are all over the place, and as much as I'd like to spank them out of you, not the first time I have you.'

'So, you'll come over tomorrow?' I asked again, biting my bottom lip, blushing at his raw honesty.

'I'll bring you dinner,' Nick nodded, and with a last kiss on my temple, he turned around, leaving me by my door.

I couldn't help but raise my hand, touching my lips, where moments ago Nick's were. I felt so incredibly happy.

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