ssa-daddyhotchner
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she/her | 20 | Minors DNI | nsfw
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Hey can you do one where the reader and Aaron is in the middle of having s*x and Aaron gets a phone call about a case he answers the phone while he is still inside of her
nsfw | mdni | aaron hotchner x reader
When you both had gotten home from a long and stressful case, Aaron didn’t hesitate to undress you and take you on your bed. Your legs were in the air, over his shoulders as he pounded into you. His cock was plunging in and out of you as a harsh and fast pace, fucking the stress out of the both of you. You had one hand gripping the sheets while the other gripped his forearm, holding onto Aaron for dear life.
Aaron grunted as he fucked you, closing his eyes in pleasure as he relished in the feeling of your wet and tight pussy wrapped around his cock. “God, you feel so good,” he said, placing a hand onto your right leg.
“Aaron,” you moaned out his name, “love your cock.”
“I know you do, baby,” he groaned, giving you a particularly harsh thrust before pulling out completely, causing you to whine from the loss of contact. “Turn over for me,” he said as he pulled away. You obeyed, moving yourself so that you were laying on your stomach with your ass in the air slightly. “Good girl,” Aaron stated as he grabbed your hips, inserting his cock inside of you before leaning over you so his chest was pressed against your back.
The both of you moaned in unison as he thrusted his cock inside of you. This new position allowed for more intimate contact and a deeper penetration. It has always been one of Aaron’s favorites. You let out a whine of pleasure as his cock went deeper inside of you. “Oh fuck,” you moaned out.
Aaron snapped his hips, picking up his pace quickly as he got into the rhythm of fucking you in this position. Your cunt was clenching around his cock and there was in no way that he was stopping now.
And then his phone began to ring, causing the both of you to groan in frustration.
“Damn it,” Aaron cursed into your ear. He stopped moving his hips, taking a moment to catch his breath before reaching over to grab his phone. His cock was still buried inside of you but remained unmoving. “Hotchner,” he said, answering the phone.
You couldn’t hear what the other person on the line was saying. You also didn’t care to hear it. However, it wasn’t rocket science to know that it was someone calling about a new case for the BAU to solve. As the person on the other line continued to speak, Aaron began moving his hips slowly, thrusting his cock in and out of your cunt. You gasped before immediately covering your mouth with your hand.
“How many victims have there been?” Aaron asked the person on the phone, keeping his voice steady as if he wasn’t fucking you. He gave a particularly harsh thrust, causing you to whimper as you tried to choke back on your moans. “Send me the file and I’ll go over it in the morning with my team,” he said, letting out a shaky breath. “Unfortunately, we cannot get on the case right this moment as we had just gotten back from another and haven’t slept in a few days. We’ll be able to work better in the morning,” he explained smoothly.
You began moving your hips in sync with Aaron’s, meeting his thrusts with your own. His cock continuously hit your g-spot, making you see stars. You purposefully clenched your walls around his cock. “Alright th-th-“ Aaron stuttered before clearing his throat. “Thank you for the information. I will brief the team in the morning and we will be there by noon,” he exclaimed. “Bye,” he ended the call, tossing his phone to the side.
He began moving his hips faster, gaining the speed that he had earlier. “Fuck,” he grunted as he gripped your hair, entangling his fingers. “You liked that didn’t you? Teasing me while I was on the phone like a little slut?” he said breathlessly into your ear.
You let out a pathetic moan, nodding your head. “Yes!” you said, closing your eyes in pleasure. “Oh fuck, so good,” you moaned.
As his cock pounded into you, it didn’t take long for the heat in your abdomen to build. And by the way Aaron’s hips were moving frantically, you could tell that he was close too. “Gonna cum inside your tight cunt,” he whispered shakily. “Can feel you’re close too, princess.”
And with a few harsh thrusts, you moaned loudly, clamping your walls around his cock as your thighs tried to close as well. You arched your back against Aaron, cumming hard on his cock. Aaron followed suit as your cunt milked him, filling you up with his cum as he groaned into your ear about how much he loves you and how good you feel.
When the both of you finished, Aaron pulled out, laying down next to you on the bed. You rolled onto your back, looking up at the ceiling as the two of you tried to catch your breath. And after a few minutes of silence, Aaron finally speaks.
“Looks like we’re going to Upstate New York tomorrow,” he sighed, looking over at you.
You looked back at him. “Well, I’ve always wanted to visit the Adirondacks,” you replied, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers.
“Mm,” Aaron said as he pulled his hand away from yours, moving to pull you close to him and hold you with both of his arms. “I love you,” he murmured.
“I love you too,” you murmured back, resting your head on his shoulder.
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girlhood is staying up late to read the top posts in an x reader tag
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secret's out | a. hotchner
Aaron Hotchner x bau!liaisonreader
Summary: Aaron takes an urgent trip to your office.
Warning: pls MDNI! 18+, oral sex (f receiving)
A/N: the way i was fixated on this idea for the entire year last year (and crawling back to it)...
— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦
A squeal passed your lips as your soul nearly jumped out of your body. Your boss, Aaron Hotchner, barged into your office with such urgency you thought someone had died, forcing a hiccup to bounce in your throat.
Your eyebrows drew together with your mouth slightly agape, "What's happened?" You couldn't help but hear your heartbeat loudly thumping against your chest.
Did a horrible case personally appear their way to his desk? Did someone get shot? Was there an emergency at home? Your mind quickly overheated as you attempted to figure out his sudden advent in your office.
"I need you to come on my face."
"What?!" Your face was both horror and bewilderment, a shade of red painting your cheeks.
You peeked outside your window, leaning against your desk. Thank goodness you had your own office. Had you not been a liaison, the entire bullpen would have its eyes on you.
"Are you out of your mind?!" Your voice was of panic, but you wouldn't deny the hint of excitement that echoed beneath your words.
Of course, Aaron had already thought of that. He had already calculated everything before he stepped out of his office and marched into yours.
Aaron didn't say a word.
Not even a moment to straighten the knot on his brows. He just shut the door, walked around your desk, kneeled in front of you, and started kissing your calves as if they were made of pure gold.
Heat rushed up your neck and to your face. Your breathing hitched at the touch of his trailing lips on your skin. "H-Hotch? Aaron, what—" You may have been shocked and confused, but you didn't stop his movements either.
You didn't want him to.
He slowly swiveled your seat to face your door, slipping under your desk as he continued to adore your thighs. How he managed to fit himself under there was beyond your comprehension.
"Continue working," Aaron directed between hot kisses on your inner thighs, pulling you out of your trance. He rubbed his textured palm on your skin, sparking friction in every bit of you.
His touch hits you like a freezing wind in the middle of January. Familiar and yet new. A simple graze and yet so electrifying.
Your eyes widened.
Did he just tell you to continue working while he was under your desk teasing you?
"Are you kidding—"
The door swung open.
Your head shot up to find one of the agents from the bullpen.
He stood by the door in silence.
You shoved Aaron's face away from your now needy cunt.
For fuck's sake.
At any given time, you would've waited for the agent to speak, but you weren't exactly in the right situation to have your door wide open for everyone outside to see or hear you.
So you spoke first, "Do you—" You swallowed—hard, casually organizing case files as Aaron bunched up your skirt. You couldn't bear to look at the agent in the eye. "Do you need something?"
"I wanted to ask if, uhm, you were," He placed a hand behind his neck, laughing awkwardly, and his face began to turn red.
You were too occupied to notice.
Aaron just started circling your clit with just the right pressure while he covered your inner thighs with stinging marks, fluttering the pit of your stomach—and the center of your cunt.
You bit the inner of your cheek, keeping any moans from slipping out. Is it really torture to feel so good while under someone's—besides the one pleasuring you—gaze? It seemed like one, but felt otherwise.
If Aaron wasn't exposing yourself under your desk, you would've realized that the agent in front of you was the same agent that has been eyeing you for a while.
JJ made sure you knew.
Emily, never let you forget.
And Penelope wanted you to give him a chance.
After a few moments—just enough time for you to release a silent gasp—the agent looked up.
His eyes were filled with courage as if he were about to fight a dragon and you were a damsel in distress.
You're anything but distressed right now, though.
He held his breath, holding his fists tight, "I wanted to ask if you'd like to go out with me for dinner? Or lunch? Or breakfast? Or just coffee? Or anything, really."
Without warning, Aaron lapped on your cunt.
It was different than usual. He pulled a little of the skin above your clit and exposed you more than you already were, directly flicking his tongue on the mass of nerves that sat on your clit.
The pleasure was straightforward and intense. Your toes curled in your heels. You gripped the file in front of you and gritted your teeth as you deeply sighed.
You weren't a profiler, but right then, you suddenly realized why the stoic SSA Aaron Hotchner was devouring you under your desk in the middle of the day.
"I'm sorry," You said gently through a soft sigh. A cover for the moan you badly wanted to breathe out. You looked at the agent with an apologetic smile, "I haven't told anyone, but I'm seeing someone." You lightly smacked the top of Aaron's head as you felt him smirk against your heat.
The agent grew redder, nodding vigorously. "It's okay. No worries. Sorry if I bothered you. Uhm... See you around." He stammered, backing away and out of your office.
When you were sure no one would barge into your office—again—you glanced down at Aaron. You carded your fingers through his dark hair, "That was mean, Aaron," You softly pointed out despite the jolt of your hips onto his face.
Aaron merely shrugged and sent you up to your peak. He was clearly unphased by the effects of his stubbornness. In fact, he made it evident that it was on purpose.
A small part of you wanted to lecture him, even briefly. To assert the little dominance you had over him at the moment. But boy, was he so good at distracting you.
You threw your head back, letting go of the file in your hand as you finally indulged in the pleasure. Your body was on fire, controlled moans desperately drooling off your lips. Whatever trick he was using, you definitely want him to keep at it.
And just as your core felt tight, entering a euphoric daze, Penelope knocked and entered your office with an innocent smile.
You willed your body not to shiver in frustration. You willed your mind not to think about Aaron kneeling under your desk and feasting on you and how your favorite tech analyst just unknowingly edged you.
"Hiyya!" She greeted, "Have you seen Hotch? I need him to sign this." She cheerily waved a manila folder. "I saw him pass by while absorbing some juicy gossip in the bullpen. Thought I'd find him here, but I guess not..." Penelope trailed off as her eyes roamed around your office.
When she finally accepted the seeming fact that Aaron was nowhere to be found, she turned to you with a wide grin. "Anyways, I'll find him one way or another. The goss was too good! Let me tell you about it!" She gushed, reaching for the seat in front of you.
Penelope was about two feet away from the seat when you shouted, "No!"
Shock emerged on her face. You gulped the pornographic sound in the center of your tongue down to the depths of your throat, reaching a handout in a bad attempt to look casual.
"I mean, n-no, I haven't seen him. But I can sign it for you." You smiled slyly, collecting yourself back together again. "My signatures are as good as Hotch's. He doesn't want the team to know because everyone will go straight to me." You felt Aaron's eye roll under the desk, nibbling on your skin.
Penelope grinned, "You don't say..." She excitedly clapped and handed you the folder. "Going back to the delicious goss. Apparently, someone caught an agent getting a visit to town in her office, if you get what I mean." A flicker sparked in her eyes. The thought made her grin wider and wiggle her brows.
Of course, you knew what she meant. You were getting one yourself. But you couldn't possibly say that to Penelope.
So, you purposely raised your eyebrows, "Really? The guy must've been hungry." You giggled, feeling Aaron squeeze your thighs.
"Right?!" She mischievously laughed. "I can't imagine someone keeping their mouth closed when someone is giving them the cunnilingus of their life in their office—" Her voice faded out of your earshot.
The bliss was too much that your hand flew back to Aaron's hair and pushed him closer to your wet cunt, forgetting that there was literally a person in front of you.
Penelope stopped in her tracks, brows furrowing as she noticed the thin layer of sweat on your forehead, "Are you okay?" The genuinity of her tone snapped you back to reality, and guilt began to knock some sense into you.
You laughed weakly, unable to control the contortion of your face. "Just cra-ahh—" You covered your mouth tightly, eyes blown wide as you stared at Penelope. "Just cramps. My... I think my period is coming." You reasoned, hoping she would buy it.
Good news and bad news.
Good news, Penelope was not a profiler. You can lie your way out of this as best as you can, and there's a huge possibility that she will buy it.
Bad news, Penelope has the most talkative mouth you have ever seen in your entire life. She would immediately pass the information that your unit chief was eating you out like a high-end buffet at noon on a sunny Tuesday, and that was how everyone would find out you were dating him.
Talk about a good bureau workplace headline.
"Oh, no," Penelope frowned. "They do go bad for you, huh? I've known of someone who couldn't even walk because the pain was too much." She paused, thinking. "Why don't I grab you some of my happy squishes from my cave? Maybe that'll help? And also cookies and coffee?"
You nodded vigorously, unable to form a word in fear that it would be a horrifying moan.
Penelope nodded as well, grabbing the folder. She told you she would be back in a flash with the best things in the world.
Luckily, she had the decency to close your door, and as soon as it shut, you let a strangled silent moan escape you as you rode your bliss.
You collapsed on your seat—breathless—like a worn-out soldier.
Aaron emerged from under your desk, licking his fingers as if he'd just had the best meal in his entire lifetime. A smirk curled one end of his lips. His chest was burning with pride.
"You're evil," You muttered breathlessly, still shivering from the ecstatic high.
A bright laugh echoed in your office and you wished it could play on a loop.
Aaron gently cleaned the mess he made, "Are you telling me you didn't like it?" He raised a brow at you.
You rolled your eyes.
"No," You admitted, playfully swatting his hands away. "Which is exactly why you're evil. You're very tempting. The apple to my Eve."
"Checks out," Aaron nodded proudly, to which you responded with a laugh mixed with disbelief.
He leaned down to leave a wet kiss on your lips, tattooing his whipped smile on your face.
His loving eyes made your chest erratic as if it was the first time he'd ever kissed you. As if he hadn't just fucked you with his mouth.
Aaron squinted, "And my signature definitely trumps yours."
"But I don't need yours to make a decision." You bounced your brows, looking at him like he was a fool.
You loved it when Aaron rolled his eyes. It was rare and solely for you to indulge in.
"I'll see you later," He rasped in such cunt-throbbing low voice.
What a tease.
You chased his lips to leave a small peck from your own, "See you later, troublemaker." You winked, scooting closer to your desk like it wasn't steaming with your sex under it.
Aaron chuckled, "I like that," He raised his brows with humor, nodding approvingly, "I'll be your troublemaker."
"'Course you are. Always been—well... hmm," You hummed, "You're tied with Jack. He and his magic tricks that he 'magically' learn whenever you two visit." You point an accusatory finger at him.
"Neither confirm nor deny," He laughed, fixing his tie before giving you one last look of adoration.
Aaron left your office high on your cum, lingering on his tongue. A one-day duration good mood. If only the team knew the trick of removing the knot on his eyebrows was as simple—and dirty—as a trip to your office.
Unbeknownst to him, a certain tech analyst was on her way back to your office with a handful of childish toys and a box of cookies and witnessed him emerge out of your door like a buzzed addict.
"Oh my god—" Penelope mouthed with wide eyes.
Secret's out.
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nsfw | mdni | aaron hotchner x reader | praise kink, office sex
imagine aaron bending you over his desk in the office late one night after a case.
the two of you would’ve been the last two to go home after the flight. aaron stayed due to paperwork. meanwhile, you stayed simply because the case had been a bit tough on your mental health and you didn’t particularly feel like being alone with your thoughts. so ultimately, it led to your skirt being hiked up to your waist while you were bent over your boss’s desk with his cock buried inside of your cunt.
“you did so well today,” aaron murmured as he thrusted his hips into you. he was too bent over, his chest to your back as he fucked you. “and now you’re doing so well taking my cock. such a good girl,” he continued.
you moaned in response, gripping the desk beneath you. “did good just for you,” you replied back, moving your hips to meet aaron’s thrusts.
“yeah?” he gave you a particularly harsh thrust, causing the both of you to moan. “you’re always so good for me,” he responded as he sped up is movements, chasing the flame that was building inside of him.
you felt your own release nearing, especially with each word aaron gave. you let out a whine of pleasure, clenching your walls around aaron’s cock to signal you were close.
“fuck,” aaron groaned, burying his face in your shoulder blades. “go ahead, baby, cum for me,” he let out a shaky breath. “you deserve it,” he added.
and with a loud moan, you came on aaron’s cock, thighs clenching, back arching. your knuckles were turning white as you gripped the desk. “o-oh fuck,” you moaned out.
“that’s it, baby,” aaron groaned as he began cumming too, his cock stiffening inside of you. “god, you feel so good, cumming on my cock.”
late nights at the office soon became a frequent thing after your cases, especially after the hard ones.
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Welcome Home
Aaron Hotchner x reader
warnings: language, smut, minor daddy kink, lots of praise.
Coming home from work had always been a form of relief for Aaron, knowing that his day was done, and he was able to relax at least a little bit before doing it all again tomorrow. But this Friday was different, this Friday not only was it a guarantee that he had two days off, he also wasn’t coming home to an empty apartment. Moving in together had been a very easy decision, he no longer had to worry about making a stop at his place before yours, didn’t have to triple check his go bag was always packed and he got to come home to you already in your shared space, happy as can be.
Almost every night this week he had come home to find you in the midst of an IKEA challenge or putting up some nice decorations. Which is exactly where he found you tonight, standing on a chair on your tip toes pinning up fairy lights over the patio window with your favourite playlist flowing through the room. As he put his things down, stepping out of his shoes and hanging up his blazer a smirk took over his lips at the actual sight in front of him. You’d clearly showered recently and chosen to tug on one of his oversized tee shirts instead of actually getting dressed and it appeared the shirt was all you’d bothered with. Your arms outstretched over your head caused the fabric to rise up, the curve of your ass poking out from beneath it as you secured another pin.
Aaron undid his tie, tossing it to the island as he started to undo his shirt, rolling up the sleeves while he crossed the room. Reaching out his hands slid over the curve of your ass before settling on your hips and he chuckled at the way you jumped, turning around when you felt him press a kiss to the small of your back. You were perched on the highest tips of your toes attempting to continue the chain of lights without toppling off the chair.
“You want some help with that?” He smiled softly and you let out a huff of a laugh.
“I didn’t even hear you come in.”
“Looks like you were pretty focused.” He nodded toward the lights, and you laughed again.
“I guess. And yeah, I can’t seem to reach it.”
With one clean swoop Aaron picked you up from the chair, resulting in a squeal escaping your lips before he set you on the ground and placed a kiss to the top of your head. You watched with a smile as he effortlessly stepped up onto the chair and was able to reach the spots you never would have been able to.
“That even?”
“Looks perfect.” You smiled as he stepped down from the chair, your hands coming to cup his cheeks so you could press a kiss to his lips, “thank you.”
“Anything else?”
“Nope.” You shook your head, taking the chain of lights back from him, “it was just the part above the window I was struggling with. Go grab a drink, relax.” You squeezed as his hand, shifting the chair to the left before you climbed back up on it and he was left to wander down the hallway.
Doing as you suggested he got comfortable, changing into a tee and sweats, tossing his work clothes into the hamper and padding back down to the kitchen barefoot to find you humming along to the music as you continued your task. He found a pack of his favourite beer in the fridge, cracking one for himself and grabbing one for you, placing it on the bookshelf you were beside before he dropped into the couch with a satisfied sigh.
The two of you caught up briefly, talked each other through your day while he scrolled through his phone, though his attention mainly remained on you. Since plugging in the string of lights the room and thus you, were bathed in a nearly angelic glow as you continued to work. Every time you moved the shirt simply dared to show more skin and he knew you could feel his eyes on you by the way you kept shifting, the little glances you’d toss over your shoulder to him with an almost shy grin, your cheeks heating. At one point you bent over to grab another hook from the bookshelf and he felt his cock twitch in his pants at the sight of your pussy fully exposed to him.
“Careful…” He warned, a playful tone in his voice and you glanced over your shoulder with a quizzical look on your face.
“I know how to use a hammer.” You replied with a laugh, gesturing to all your previous work and he chuckled, taking another sip of his drink before he stood up to cross the room.
“I know…” he murmured, his hands ghosting up your thighs and your breath caught in your throat. One of his hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer to him while the other travelled up your back, tangling in the roots of your hair, “but I do hope if someone else was to be helping you with this you would at least put some panties on.”
“Aaron…” you giggled, swatting at the hand on your hip. “I had actual clothes on when the guy came to install the dryer.”
“Oh so it’s just me you like to tease?” He smirked, his hand leaving your hair so both of them could trace patterns on the back of your thighs.
“Obviously.” You let out a sigh, your eyes beginning to flutter at the way he massaged your skin, hands creeping up higher under the hem of the shirt, just daring to brush your pussy.
“I think the rest of this can wait.” A steady arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you from the chair once again and he yanked you flush to him, the bulge in his pants apparent against your ass, “now you know just how wild you drive me.”
“Mmhmm….” You nodded, your body relaxing against him, your lips falling open as he started to grope your chest through the thin fabric, pinching your nipples until they were hardened and you were grinding back into him.
“Open your mouth.” His hand softly squeezed around your throat before gliding up and two of his fingers sunk in between your lips.
You sucked the digits deeper into your mouth, tongue swirling around them, coating them with saliva as he slowly thrust them in and out of your lips. With his other hand steady on your hip he backed the two of you up to the center of the living room where the nest of pillows and blankets was still tousled on the ground from your movie night the previous evening.
Aaron’s fingers slipped out of your mouth and you let out a whine in protest, one that he chuckled at as he pulled his shirt off over his head. His hands found the hem of your stolen shirt, tugging it up and off, dropping it to the floor.
“Relax honey.” His dry hand caressed at your cheek, “there’s no chance I’m done with you yet.” He pulled you to him, kissing you deeply, tongue surging into your mouth and you let out a soft moan into the kiss.
The fingers coated in your spit snuck between your bodies, lazily rubbing at your clit while the other one started to toy with your chest. Cupping the flesh, pulling louder moans from you when he started to pinch at your nipples, flicking at them as they hardened in the cool air. His arm wound around you, hoisting you up just enough that your weight was on him as he squatted and gently dropped onto the pile of blankets and cushions before he lay you down on them. His lips broke free from yours and he left a pathway of kisses down your neck, nipping ever so lightly, pulling a breathy sigh from you.
“Aaron…” you whined, “don’t tease.”
“Never would sweetheart.”
His hands smoothed up your thighs, spreading your legs for him before his fingers found your pussy again. They slid through your folds, coaxing out your wetness, smearing it around your pussy, circling around your clit until your chest was heaving and you were nearly panting. His thumbs slid up your pussy, spreading your lips apart and he could see it fully glistening in the low light.
“Such a gorgeous pussy honey.” He cooed, “and who does this pussy belong to?”
“You daddy.”
“Smart girl too.” He smiled softly down at you watching the way your eyes fell shut when he slid two of his fingers into your cunt. “So wet already… have you been thinking about this all day?” He asked, pumping his fingers in and out of you, “waiting for me to come home and find you indecent? Just so I’d fuck you?”
“Yes…” you breathed back, your hand reaching out in search of his free one, fingers interlacing when you found it, his thumb softly stroking over your knuckles. “Wanted to be all ready for you, surprise you.” You were already finding it hard to focus on your words, your pussy fluttering around his fingers as they stretched you out.
“You’re so good for me sweetheart. So thoughtful.” His fingers curled inside you and your breath hitched in your throat, “making sure I have something so gorgeous to come home to… something so sweet.”
With that he shifted onto his stomach, his tongue lapping up the juices around your opening while his fingers continued to twist and scissor inside you. He couldn’t help but groan over your taste, cock twitching in his pants as he shifted up and his mouth latched around your clit.
“Fuck!” You gasped, your hands threading into his hair, holding his face between your legs and you could practically feel the smirk on his lips as electricity sparked through you.
Aaron’s tongue varied between tracing patterns on your pulsing nub and flicking it with the tip, your fingers scraping at his scalp as the pleasure built higher and higher. He picked up the pressure right as his hand picked up the pace, fucking faster into you.
“Oh Aaron…”
Not wanting to let up he merely grunted against you before humming and the vibrations had you gasping, your pussy pulsating around his fingers.
“M’gonna—” You whimpered, feeling the heat about to burst through your veins and his head nodded, rubbing right where you needed it as his fingers curled up, pressing hard on your g-spot and you cried out, “fuck!” Your hips jolted up off the blankets, thighs shaking around him as he gently fingered you through your orgasm.
“That’s it honey…” he cooed, “so fucking pretty for me. Such pretty fucking sounds.”
Your body still trembled, little whimpers and gasps leaving your lips that were heaven to his ears as the aftershocks crashed through you. You were always so gorgeous when you came for him, splayed out on display, legs spread, pussy dripping all because of him, tits swaying as your chest heaved, body coated in a shimmering of sweat, that blissed out look of pure pleasure and desire in your darkened eyes.
He slipped his fingers from you, bringing them up to his lips and he caught the way you tugged your lower lip into your mouth, a greedy look in your eyes as you watched him suck them clean. He nearly made a show of it, groaning before letting them pop from his mouth.
“So fucking sweet.” He praised, “almost wonder what I should do with you next.” He smirked at the way you instantly pouted, letting out a soft whine, “what sweetheart?”
“Need you.”
“Yeah…” his hand came back between your legs, palming at your puffy cunt, “need what? My fingers again?” One slipped in, but only for one thrust, “my mouth? Or something else?”
“Your cock daddy, please!”
“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Aaron grinned down at you as he shucked his sweatpants off, positioning himself between your legs. His hand wrapped around his cock, thumb smearing the pre-cum around it as he let out a soft groan, “fuck… you always get me so hard.” He thrust his cock through your folds, coating it with your juices, “you feel that honey?”
“Yes…” you whined, your hips rocking towards the touch, “please…”
“Please what?” He raised a brow in your direction as he continued his movement and you whimpered.
“Please fuck me!”
“Good girl.” He leant over you, pressing a kiss to your needy lips as he lined up his hips and his cock sunk into your warmth. You both let out satisfied moans at the sensation, his cock slipping all the way into you until his hips were seated against yours and he could feel your cunt clenching around him already. “Fuck, you feel so good.”
“Move.. please.” You whined, your arms wrapping around him, nails digging into his back as you pulled him to him.
Aaron kissed the side of your neck gently before pulling back until only the tip was left and he plunged back into you, earning a gasp from you at just how deep he was. Your legs eagerly wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper into you and he made a home in the crook of your neck, his breath hot on your skin as he started to pant. He set a steady pace, just fast enough to have you shivering and whimpering in his arms but still slow enough to savour it, to make sure you were feeling every inch and every drag of his cock deep in your pussy, to get it wetter with each thrust of his hips.
From the angle he was fucking you, each movement of his body brushed against your clit, the double sensation having you seeing stars already, pleasure tingling under your skin. One of your hands threaded through his hair again, holding him impossibly close as he continued to thrust into you. You could feel his cock throbbing inside of you, the movement getting larger anytime you let out a particularly loud whine. He loved the way you clenched around him, the sounds you made, knowing he was the one who was making you make them, that he was the only one who could pull sounds like them from you. Each thrust of his hips he could feel the wetness where your bodies met getting larger, the slick around his cock growing, the sounds getting more indecent with every pump.
“Oh god Aaron!” Your nails started to claw at his back, “s-so gg-ood.”
“Always take me so well.” He grunted back, his hips beginning to snap harder and faster into yours, earning a breathy gasp from you as you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist.
Your pussy was dripping, the squelching noises coming from it echoing through the living room and every time Aaron drove his cock deeper into it you felt new sensations, your entire body tingling, starting to shake with pleasure. The coil was building deep inside you, higher and hotter with each thrust and your eyes scrunched shut, a string of whimpering swears leaving your lips. Aaron groaned loudly into your ear at the feeling of your pussy pulsing around him before his mouth latched onto your neck, teeth sinking in before his tongue lapped over the spot to soothe the burn and his lips began to suck at your sensitive skin.
“Fuck!” You cried out as the trembling in your body blew into a full blown spasm and you hit your peak, pussy clenching down even harder around Aaron as he grunted, his hips stuttering as he fucked you through your orgasm.
“God sweetheart.” He muttered, kissing your neck before sitting up on his haunches to chase his own release. He picked up the pace, thrusting deeper and faster into you and with just how fucking drenched your cunt was it wasn’t long before he was groaning loudly, his cum spilling into your pussy and he dropped over you again. “Fuck…”
Your finger tips gently tickled up and down his back, your other hand coming to his head, scratching at his scalp as he panted above you and you finally managed to catch your breath. You pressed a tender kiss to the side of his head, letting out a very satisfied hum and in return he let out a breathless huff, leaving a kiss on your collarbone. He pulled his head up, his hand coming to caress the side of your cheek as he left a featherlight kiss on your lips and you smiled up at him.
“You okay?” He murmured.
“Perfect.” You replied, stealing another kiss before he gently rolled off you.
Aaron adjusted a few of the cushions and blankets so you would both be comfortable, pulling a blanket over the two of you as you instinctively curled into his side, resting on his chest. His arm wound around you and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, a small smile on his cheeks as he admired the decorating you’d been doing. The soft light cascading perfectly over the living room for a moment like this.
“You certainly know a thing or two about welcoming a guy home.” He teased and you laughed.
“Figured I could start off strong with what I know you love.” You shifted so you could see his face and he chuckled.
“Well what I love is you, doesn’t matter what form it comes in as long as I get to come home to you every day.”
“You’re a sap, you know that right?”
“Absolutely not.” He grinned back and you playfully rolled your eyes before leaning up to kiss him softly.
“I love you too.”
_______________________
@svushots @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel @emobabeyy @daddy-heather-dunbar @mrs-ssa-hotch @hotchandspencearedilfs @mina2000alex @telepathay @darlingsfandom @ssamorganhotchner @hotchsdoormat @hopedoesntknow @thehauntingofbasingse @plaidbooks @niyizh @tommyriddleobsessed @supercriminalbean @hotchs-bitch @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @emlynblack @ivyflowers13 @ratsnestinmyhair @silversprings-mp3 @ssaaaronhotchnerr @speedynana @tgskitten @madamsnape921 @aaronandemilysbitch @mrs-ssa-hotch @boimlers-gonna-boim @nachofriess @khxna @tinyprettyangel @cx-emerald-cx cx @momily @acctualdeemon
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Hehe saw this on Pinterest and got inspired. A lil spicy so 18+ only, minors DNI. No pronouns used for reader so it’s gender neutral! And also I always imagine reader as plus size so 💅
It’s giving live-in nanny!reader where after almost a year of taking care of Jack and, by extension whenever he comes home; Mr Hotchner, you’ve developed strong feelings for him. But what you don’t know is he’s fallen completely in love with you in return. It all comes flooding in when he returns home from a particularly awful case late at night, but you’re still awake and meet him at the door with a soft smile. And when you see the pure exhaustion and drain on his face you simply pull him inside gently and lock the door, turn back to him and open your arms.
“Come here.”
And Mr Hotchner melts into your plush arms, clinging onto you tightly as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. You say nothing else, just hold him close and silently reassure him you’re here for him. The embrace breaks eventually and you tell him to take off his jacket and shoes, loosen his tie a little while you heat up his dinner for him you’d made earlier. It’s so… domestic and it makes his heart ache and yearn for you overwhelmingly more than ever.
He’s barely shedded his jacket off and toed his shoes at the door before his mind is set and he rushes after you. Hearing his rapidly approaching footsteps, you turn and tilt your head in question but gasp when his large hands cup your face and he gazes into your eyes.
“I…” he’s conflicted. Your hands come to rest over the top of his, thumbs rubbing the back of them. He swallows. “I’m sorry, this isn’t appropriate. I-“
You cut him off with a kiss and his eyes flutter shut as he immediately reciprocates. You’d wanted this for so long, hoped he felt the same was you do for him, to finally feel his touch. He pulls away and you note his pupils are dilated, then he carefully walks you back until you hit a wall and he kisses you again. This one is more intense, hungry and desperate and his hands leave your face, only to grasp your wrists and pin your arms up to the sides of your head whilst his lips travel down your jaw and neck.
“I’m sorry I… I have feelings for you.” He murmurs into your skin and you gasp out and smile. He hums as he sucks on your neck when you utter out about your own feelings for him and you could swear you feel his lips curl into a smile.
“B-but your dinner-!” You gasp out and he huffs, pressing his knee between your legs.
“Fuck dinner, it can wait. I’d rather have you.”
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It’s just you and me | Aaron Hotchner
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x female reader
Summary: Aaron misses you, and a cabin in the woods is the best place to show you how much
Word count: 1.8k
Tags/warnings: mentions of food consumption; established relationship; porn without plot (18+ only please. Minors do not interact); smut: hand job; nipple play; hot tub unprotected sex; lots of praise <3; not edited, just short and nasty.
Author’s note: I wanted to write something hot and also fluffy and I came up with this. Also thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts! They were all very inspiring (and interesting) even though I’m a very vanilla type of girl as you’ll see 😭 anyway, I hope you enjoy this little ride (ha!).
MASTERLIST
Aaron thought the best way to compensate for being away for an entire week because of a case was to take you to a cabin in the woods for the weekend.
Cases didn’t take that long to solve, and it had affected you more than you’d like to admit. It was more than him being away, though. It was the uncertainty of not knowing if he was safe. You’d found yourself counting every hour, a clock ticking at the back of your head. Long-distance phone calls helped—they calmed the anxiety—but as soon as it ended, you missed him even more and the clock started ticking again.
But he was here now, with you, in an outdoor hot tub surrounded by nothing but nature and lost in time.
"Thank you for cooking dinner," you said, gripping his thigh underwater. You were sitting next to him, letting the bubbles massage your back but you missed him, so you thought it was best if you straddled him, scooting a little closer to prop one leg over his thigh.
He got your signal and helped you hop on his lap. "I had to give you the whole experience," he said, adjusting you by your thighs and planting a sweet kiss on your bare shoulder. “I wanted to,” he corrected himself.
You brushed your thumbs over his brows. He’d come back with a slight cut over his left brow.
You kissed him there. "It’s very nice, thank you.”
One of his hands rested flat on your lower spine while the other was a little higher, his arms acting as the back of a chair, almost, his lap the perfect place to sit on.
It was rewarding seeing him like this, so relaxed and surrendered to peace. You wished you could freeze this moment, for his peace and because of the way he looked. Shirtless. Wet. Handsome. It wasn’t so hard to admit that the scar added a little more to it.
“You know what would make this experience even better?" you darkened the way you looked at him.
He hummed, raising his brows and mirroring your smirk. He knew exactly what you meant.
“Dirty, dirty sex,” you murmured next to his ear.
“Someone’s horny,” he laughed, scanning your face up and down. A laugh that gave you thousands of butterflies.
“I’m ovulating.” Your cheeks grew hot. “I think.”
“That’s… good to know.” He raised his brows as he spoke. It was cute how after all these years he still got flustered.
“And that cut over your brow is not helping,” you confessed.
“That tells me that you like seeing me hurt,” he teased again.
“Never.” You pecked him on the lips. “But picturing taking down a bad guy is… it does something to me.”
You kissed him again. Once. Twice. Three times until he parted his mouth, allowing the kiss to intensify.
You pulled back a bit. His eyes had darkened too.
“C’mere.” He cupped your face and brought you closer to kiss you again, this time sweeping his tongue over your top lip.
God, the way he kissed you when no one was around should be illegal. Because it wasn’t only his tongue, it was the shameless groans he gradually let out the more the kiss intensified; the way he bucked his hips upwards so you could feel how hard each kiss made him.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and slowly began to grind him, rubbing your heat against his, the thin fabric of your bikin the only thing keeping you apart (he was completely naked since he forgot to pack his swimsuit. Not that it mattered when it was just the two of you).
The kiss grew hotter, and so did the small waves around you as you slowly began to move your hips more rubbing yourself over his growing erection. You sneaked one hand between you two to feel him and your mouth started watering at the same time your cunt clenched over nothing.
You wanted him inside. Mouth or cunt. You just needed him.
“Mmm,” you moaned into his mouth, gripping the back of his head with one hand while the other pumped his cock up and down.
He let go of your lips to pepper your cheeks with softer kisses, down to your chin and jaw. “Just like that. Don’t stop.” He moved his kisses to your neck and then chest, trailing them over the squishy exposed skin of your breasts. “God, I love you so much.” He bit your hard nipple over the thin fabric of your bikini.
You smiled big, ready to let him love you. “Mmm, I love you too.”
His breathing grew heavy, warming up your skin with each breath as he used one finger to drag your bikini to the side, exposing your whole left breast, and leaving the other for later. He suctioned your hard nub and you could hold back a small whimper.
Your arousal was leaking through your panties. You were so ready to take him already, but you knew how much he liked taking his time on you. Enjoying your body. Touching you. Licking you. Biting you. He was an amazing boyfriend and an even better lover, so you were patient.
“Let’s take this off,” he said, undoing the knot of your bikini on your back while you undid the one behind your neck, leaving your chest bare right on his face. He took the other nipple into his mouth and hummed as he did.
You whined again, shutting your eyes to feel it. You never stopped moving your hand around his erection which was fully hard. So ready for you to sit on.
“God, I can’t get enough of you,” he panted.
You laughed a little through the pleasure. “You and me both.”
You opened your eyes and captured the perfect image. The sun was setting, painting everything around in a pretty shade of orange.
“Sunset,” you barely managed to say.
But he couldn’t care less. He turned your head to him by your chin and captured your mouth with an open-mouth kiss, taking your breath away. He sneaked one hand between your legs and crept one finger from the side of your bikini, massaging your folds. He smiled. You could feel how damp and slippery you were down there.
“Should we move to the bed inside?” He suggested. “I really want to feel how wet you are. The water is taking it away from me.”
You shook your head. “Here’s perfect. Fuck me right here.”
You just couldn’t wait any longer. You undid the knots of your bikini bottom and threw it away. Now he had you fully naked on top of him and the tip of his cock grazed your sensitive spot.
He turned into a starving man and in a second he lined himself over your entrance, teasing you moving his cock up and down between your slick folds.
A soft frown took over his face as his lips parted. “Want me to fuck you now?” He pushed the head slightly inside, just to withdraw it a second later.
“Mhm,” you nodded. “Please.”
Please please, please.
“Oh, honey.” He hissed between clenched teeth, lining himself again, and with your help, he slid halfway in.
He was so thick you let out a startled gasp that he kindly caught with a kiss. Slowly, you began to move. Back and forth. Up and down. Side to side. Everywhere just to make him fit properly until he was balls deep.
“There, right there,” he praised you. “Oh, honey. You feel incredible.” His head landed on your shoulder.
You lifted his head back up, making him look at you. He was the most beautiful and vulnerable creature during sex. Dark eyes. Parted mouth. Soft frown.
“It’s like you were made for me.” He slightly shook his head like he couldn’t quite believe it. “So perfect.”
You stayed still to get used to his size, and he was patient, dotting kisses all over until you decided to move again. You withdrew your hips and bucked them back, that first pump sending an exquisite rush through you.
“You’re so big,” you panted, clinging more onto his body.
You found the perfect position there—heart to heart, nose to nose—and you began to move your hips up and down. You tugged your bottom lip between your teeth to bite back a moan.
“Let me hear you,” he said, capturing your lips into a wet kiss. “There’s no one around. It’s just you and me.”
He met every thrust, and you couldn’t not obey. You whimpered, whined, and moaned with each delicious and violent move. He threw his head back in pleasure, closing his eyes and knitting his brows together as if he were in pain. Then he gripped your hips tight, digging his fingers into your skin to stop you from moving.
He was about to come, and he didn’t want to just yet.
“Hold on,” he breathed out, going back to look at you. There was a faint smirk on his face. “Shit.”
You didn’t move, but tightened your walls around him, just to tease him a bit.
“Honey,” he threw his head back again in pain.
You leaned forward, kissing the side of his chin. “Look at me.”
He did, chest heaving in and out. You traced random lines over his wet chest with one hand—waiting for him to recover— and with the other you pinched your nipples.
An evil grin tugged at the corner of his lip.
“Like what you see?” you began to rock your hips again.
Your clit rubbed perfectly over his pubic bone, and it didn’t take much time for the pleasure to start building.
“I’m gonna come,” you leaned forward, murmuring close to his lips. “You want me to come?”
“God, yes.” He enveloped you with his strong arms.
You bounced on top of him desperately, making the water splash everywhere. You clinged onto the edge of the tub and didn’t stop. Your hips just wouldn’t stop. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You bit your bottom lip, looking down on him.
He was looking up through his dark eyelashes, waiting for your orgasm.
The pleasure lingered on your walls around his cock for a moment until you finally let go, allowing the fireworks rush through you. Your toes curled, your hips twitched, your breath shook. You came, hard. So hard you couldn’t hold back any sound. You were loud, as loud as he liked you to be.
You leaned down and cooed onto the crook of his neck, “Fuck, Aaron, oh— mmm,” leaving a gentle love bite there.
“Oh, sweetheart, that’s it.” His cock began to twitch inside you and the rocking motion of his hips under you turned reckless. He laughed a little as he came, and he held you tight, so tight, cupping your face with one hand and groaning and moaning into a desperate kiss.
His breath turned shaky as he came out of his high and you remained on top of him, with him still inside you. Looking into those beautiful coffee-colored eyes.
“I love you,” you kissed him on the lips. “I don’t want the weekend to end,” you confessed.
Aaron smiled. “What if I told you today is only the beginning of my two-week mandatory vacation?”
A soft breeze arose around you, pebbling your skin with goosebumps. You were so ready to feel that every single night for two whole weeks.
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Best I Ever Had
Jackson!Joel Miller x afab!reader | w/c: 2.3k
Summary: Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
Content/Warnings: Reader is able-bodied, no physical descriptions. Feminine perception of reader and feminine pet names (Joel calls you mama and babygirl), but no pronouns used. Reader's a fucking badass and can hold their own fights (probably Joel's too, tbh). Slight description of reader getting physical/violent with another person (bby has some anger issues). Established relationship. Implied age gap (exact number unspecified). A bit of insecure Joel. 18+ MDNI! Dom!reader !! Sub!Joel !!!! P in V unprotected. Slight breeding kink (reader just likes being filled, no children talk). Joel has a fast refractory period (don't think too much on it, just enjoy). Definitely some overstimulation. Cockwarming. Riding..straddling.. Teasing. Begging. Edging. Sloppy making out. Multiple orgasms. Please let me know if there’s anything I missed that should be up here!
A/N: Some get post-nut clarity, but I get post-nut lust. This was the product of that. Hope you enjoy, my angels. Thank you @honeyedmiller for beta’ing 🩶 also I picture both game Joel or hbo Joel, so it’s entirely up to you what you wanna visualize ;)
masterlist | updates blog
It was a busy night at the Tipsy Bison. Everyone was out. Everyone was mingling, getting to know each other. As if it wasn’t a small town already, but hey, it wouldn’t hurt to make sure you really knew the people living in this little forever-town.
Except, Joel was not one to mingle—especially on nights like tonight. Tommy insisted that he come, it’ll be nice, he tried to reason.
He eventually agreed. Not because of Tommy, though, but because of you.
You knew Joel was a certified grump, through and through. And you love Joel, you really do. But the post-apocalyptic world caused you to react differently than your man. Yeah, you’ve become tougher, harder to break, harder to trust. However, you crave any sense of normalcy you can find. So on occasion, you like to go out and get to know the people of the town. You like human interaction.
And when they say opposites attract, the saying couldn’t have been more true. Joel was absolutely smitten the day he met you. It’s been a long time coming between you two—with his vulnerability, or lack thereof, and his initial unwillingness to accept that he can finally relax and unclench his jaw—but you’re together now, stronger than ever, and everything is worth it.
You are worth it.
Which is exactly why all you needed was to give one raise of your brow during his protesting before Joel promptly shuts his lips and takes a defeated breath, fixing his answer to Tommy. “Oh, hell. Alright, brother, we’ll be there.”
And to be quite honest, Joel would go as far to say that tonight’s little get together was actually decent for once. That is, until he sees you waiting on the bartender for his beer and your old-fashioned, and a man—a boy—approaches you.
“Hey,” you heard a voice beside you say. Not realizing it was meant for you, your attention stays on the bartender. Still, the voice persists. “I was thinking, uh-” you look at the guy then, eyes staring him down in a way he perceives as a challenge.
He clears his throat. “I was thinking I could buy you a drink?”
“No, I’m good,” you say shortly. The bartender comes up to you, pulling you away from the guy’s feeble attempt at flirting. You tell the bartender your order, and before you can take another moment to speak, the guy pipes up.
“Put it on my tab,” he smirks triumphantly, taking a closer step to you.
You pull yourself away on instinct— out of disgust, but your eyes stay trained on his gaze. You’re pissed, but this naïve little boy has no idea. Both of what you're capable of and what the older man, your older man, across the bar is capable of.
“Thanks,” you smile, “my boyfriend’s gonna appreciate the free drink,” you tell the guy, turning to Joel and giving him a sweet smile. You’ve been feeling his stare the second this waste of space walked up to you.
Joel would pounce if you told him to. He knows you can handle yourself, though, and you confirm it through that pretty smile you flash him. He can’t deny the way his cock twitches at the way this scene is unfolding. Part of him is begging for the guy to try something more, to test you—to unleash you.
The guy scoffs the second he sees Joel. “That old man is your boyfriend? Come on, baby,” his hand reaches for the crook of your elbow. “You can do so much better than that,” he taunts.
And that was the something more you needed. Immediately your hand takes hold of his wrist, twisting the man to face the bar in a rough fashion as you lean him over the bar counter, his arm twisted behind his back, shoulder ready to snap out of his socket with the tiniest of movements.
“Wanna say that again?” You seethe, knocking the breath from his lungs as you push him into the wooden counter.
“I said—”
He’s cut off by his own high-pitched scream. You push his arm higher, a sharp pain shooting through every nerve center in the guy’s arm.
“Sweetheart,” a southern twang says softly, but it’s not your man. Tommy. “I know he probably deserves it, darlin’, but it’s not worth it,” he says, not wanting to aggravate you more. Everyone knows not to test you.
Well, apparently not everyone.
You roll your eyes, knowing Tommy’s just trying to keep up the liveliness of tonight. “Fine,” you mutter. Leaning closer into the guy, you whisper into his ear. “Talk about my fuckin’ man like that again, and I’ll snap your shoulder so fuckin’ hard, Jackson’s doctors won’t even know what to do with ya. Ya hear me?” You’re not from the South, and before the outbreak, you’ve never even been. But get angry enough, and Joel’s twang possesses you.
You release the crying boy with a shove, and you back up, wanting to pull yourself away from the situation. Your back is met with something hard, and immediately you know who it is. You soften in his touch as his arms immediately wrap around your waist. “You alright, babygirl?” Joel rasps in your ear. You can feel his fucking hard-on pressed against your back.
The guy looks at you and Joel, chest still heaving as his face turns into disgust, a fuck you muttered under his breath, an aftertaste of jealousy on his lips.
Smiling wildly at the guy in front of you, you snake your hand up to wrap around Joel’s jaw before you turn your head back and tilt your head up, pulling Joel into an open-mouthed kiss, your tongue pushing into his mouth as he eagerly sucks it, lapping up your spit. He groans into you, his arms pulling you impossibly tighter into him.
You pull away with a harsh nip to his lip, feeding off the little whimper Joel lets out. “Baby,” he whines.
You look back to the guy, and the silent audience you’ve accumulated. “Come on, cowboy,” you breathe. “I’m not done with you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replies happily, spinning you two around and walking out with you still pressed against him.
The bar stays quiet after a beat. Tommy’s hand slaps the bar counter before he speaks. “Well. Get the music back going unless y’all wanna hear ‘em goin’ at it all night!” The bar roars in laughter, the music coming back to life.
Before returning back to Maria, Tommy turns to the guy. “You. Out.”
He scrambles without looking back.
“Oh my God, baby.”
“Fuck— I- I can’t, baby, I can’t hold it much longer, baby, I need to come.”
“Just one more second, baby.”
“Mama, please,” he cries out, his head lolling from side to side on his sweat-soaked pillow as you grind your hips into his pelvis, lifting yourself on and off him every other moment. His hands hold onto your hips, not in a way to control your movement but to simply feel you.
“Oh, come on, be a good boy for me, baby,” you moan, your hand fixing itself onto his jaw to make him look at you. “Just wanna feel you twitch inside me a little bit more ‘fore you make a mess inside me, okay?”
“Oh, fuck— yes, yes, mama, yes, okay,” he rambles, trying his hardest to breathe through the pleasurable pain as you take and take and take.
A particular grind sends your back arching, his pubes soaked in your arousal nudging perfectly against your clit, sending an electric pulse up your spine. You cry out in ecstasy, your climax hitting you instantly. “Oh fuck, oh shit- fuckfuckfuck, baby, come with me— come inside me, baby, fucking fill me,” you nearly scream, hoping that boy can hear you now.
“Shit, baby, oh my God- fuck- I’m coming, mama, holy fuck- I-” he stutters, his thigh muscles shaking underneath you as you bounce on him through his climax, the mix of his spend with yours bouncing lewdly across the walls of your shared bedroom.
Your hips come to a slow but never stop, your chest heaving as you lean down to bring your lips to Joel. You let them ghost across his lips, but you don’t let them touch. He knows better not to chase it, not yet, anyway. He can still feel you fuming.
You can do so much better than that.
“Can you fucking believe him?” You whisper against his lips, barely audible yet fucking scary nonetheless.
Joel thinks that boy is right, deep down. Even though he’d never want you to leave him, and you’d never want him to leave you. Joel thinks that there’s a crumb of moral rightness in that statement. But he keeps that to himself.
Nevertheless, you know Joel like the back of your hand. He doesn’t need to utter a lick of anything to you. You already know what he’s thinking.
“Joel,” you say again. “I asked you a question.”
All questions must be answered.
Fuck.
“Y-yeah, baby,” he rumbles, too distracted by the comments from the bar, but mainly still caught up in the way his softening come-covered cock is still nestled inside of you.
You sit up now. A whine leaves his throat at the movement. “So you do believe him?”
Only then does he realize what he said. His eyes shoot up to yours. “W-wait, no, baby, ‘m sorry, no. No, I don’t believe him, baby,” he panics.
You quirk your eyebrow at him.
“The fuckin’ audacity on ‘em,” he adds for good measure.
You’re silent for a beat. Then—
“You’re lying.”
Joel’s heart starts to race. “No, baby. Please. Mama, I’m not lyin’,” he tries.
Still straddling his hips, you grab onto his bicep, pulling upward. He gets the hint and sits up. He’s still inside you, his cock slowly growing to full mast again the longer you sit here.
You’re face to face now. His arms are loosely wrapped around your waist, your arms tightly around his neck.
“Look me in my eye,” you whisper, “and tell me you’re the best I ever had.”
Joel audibly gulps.
Slow— so slow, your hips begin to move again. A breathy little moan escapes your mouth, and he lunges forward for you, his tongue dancing along the tip of yours, swallowing your breath. You allow it.
“Tell me,” you groan into his mouth, practically swallowing his tongue as you shallowly bounce yourself on him.
“Baby,” he whines, getting lost in this dance of heat and sweat he’s become utterly addicted to.
You break yourself away from his mouth, not allowing him the option to reach for you anymore. He pulls back, eyes wild and sad. His mouth turned down into a literal pout.
“My poor baby,” you mutter. “Tell me what I wanna hear,” you say again. “Or you’re not getting my lips nor are you coming for the rest of the night,” you tell him, switching back into your grinding motion to stimulate your sensitive bud, letting him feel the way your pussy flutters around him.
“Baby,” he begs again as you grind, your warmth forcing him to another climax. Please don’t make me say it, he’s trying to convince you.
Your fingers find their home at the base of his salt and pepper curls, tugging them in warning. “Tell. Me.”
You force his body down to lay flat on the bed again, towering over him, allowing your body the space to lift yourself off of him, only his tip inside of you. He takes a sharp breath in, knowing what’s coming.
You drop yourself down on him, fucking yourself on his cock at a bruising pace. You grab his hands and drag them up to your chest, wrapping his thick digits around you encouraging him to squeeze.
“Fuck- mama, I’m gonna—”
“No the fuck you’re not, baby,” you moan, lost in the pleasure but still rightfully in charge. “Swear to God, Joel, gonna leave you fucking swollen and pulsing for a fucking week— oh fuck,” you cut yourself off, a familiar sensation building at the base of your spine, sending you convulsing around his length yet again.
Joel’s eyes clamp shut, finally giving into your request so he can finally let go. “I— shit, I’m the—” a rugged moan forces itself out, “—the best you ever had, mama, please, the fuckin’ best, baby,” he cries out, his hips bucking up into you as he covers every inch of you with his spend.
“Shit,” you moan, his words affecting you a lot more than you anticipated, your hips doing overtime, unable to find it within you to stop even as he begins to soften. “Yes, fuck, that’s my boy, shit—” you breathe, “—the fucking best, always make me feel so fucking good, baby.”
His hands finally use their strength, trying his best to slow you with ease, his nerves reaching the point of painful overstimulation. “Alright, baby, alright,” he winces.
Recognizing his limits, you immediately begin to slow, lowering yourself onto his heaving chest. You let him slip out of you this time, giving him an actual break. “I’m sorry,” you whisper into his chest.
“For what, baby?” Joel responds with a kiss into your head.
“Did I go too far?”
He couldn’t help the belly laugh that shakes the both of you. You immediately sit back up, your hands on his chest to keep your limp body up. “What?” you glare at him.
“Too far? Which part, darlin’? Nearly breakin’ that guy’s shoulder or my dick?”
A belly laugh erupts out of you this time. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you respond. “...Both.”
“Mmm…” Joel puts on a fake thinking face. “Maybe to the former, but not at all to the latter,” he hums, his hands finding the back of your head to pull you in for a chaste kiss.
You hum into his lips, a smile stretching across your cheeks.
Resting your head on his chest, you let a few moments pass before you speak again. “Tommy’s not gonna invite us to another one of those, huh?”
“Probably not, mama,” he smiles. “Probably not.”
I’d love to hear what you think!! Any feedback or interactions with you all truly brightens my day. So so so much love for you all. Thank you for being here 🩶
I cannot get myself to write for Joel or for TLOU without mentioning the horrors occurring in Palestine. Please check out the links in my navigation + bio to learn about the situation in Palestine and also learn about some ways in which you can help🇵🇸. Reading and interacting with those links takes 5 minutes of your time at the bare minimum.
graphics by @saradika-graphics (middle divider in fic by me)
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some people in this fandom are truly clammy palmed little lunatics who have never attempted to be normal for a day in their lives. writing reader as having all the characteristics of a literal child whilst claiming that you are engaging in “safe kink” does in fact make you a weirdo freak and i do hope you trip over and bash your head hard enough to knock some sense into yourselves. if calling glorified pedophilic media by its true name makes me a kink shamer then i’m proud to be one! it’s borderline laughable to put an 18+ warning on a fanfic where the reader is so childlike they might as well be a minor. no grown adult is so clueless about sex and basic biology and anatomy unless they have physically been kept from all aspects of the outside world for their entire lives, and infantilising female reproductive organs by calling them “cunny” or “princess parts” is creepy and gross. also using pictures of children and children’s toys/clothing as the header for these fics just further proves that you are deranged and need to be sectioned. you freaks see no problem with the fact that your creepy little perv fics promote weird behaviours and treat pedophilia as a fun kink as if it is not a) illegal and b) DISGUSTING! if anyone in real life called a vagina a cunny i know damn well i would call them a fucking freak so i see no real reason why that shouldn’t extend to the internet: if you write your reader inserts as extremely child-like and use infantilised language to describe sexual organs and acts, you are a fucking freak and need to log off.
+ further explanation.
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I’d Like to Think That You Would Stick Around | s6
pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader
summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.
word count: 15.5k
warnings: SMUT, oral (m!receiving), masturbation, canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, guns, drinking, angst, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 6x06, 6x08, 6x17, and 6x18.
a/n: Sorry for the long wait guys, school has been kicking my ass, but here's the next part! We're getting a lot of angst this chapter, but we're so so close to the good times ;) Hope you enjoy! Title is from Love Song by Lana Del Rey
series masterlist
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
You are talking to Prentiss across the bullpen, laughing about something he can't hear, and he's freaking out. He shouldn't have left that night. He knows that. He just didn't know what else to do.
Never mind the fact that he has no idea how much you remember.
When you bumped into him on the way out of the elevator this morning, he swears you jumped back, but then you smiled at him, and he was able to convince himself that it was all fine. So why does it still feel like you are avoiding him?
He can still picture the dark expanse of your pupils as you leaned in closer after stumbling into him; he can still feel the rush of your breath as your gaze met his and his fingers tightened on your hip.
He walks into his office, before sitting at his desk and dropping his head into his hands. His blinds are just shut enough that no one from down in the bullpen can see into his office, and he welcomes the privacy as he rubs a hand over his face and forces his eyes away from the photograph of the two of you on his desk.
'Aaron...'
Your voice had sounded so soft, so hurt-
He shuts his eyes again and tries to think about anything else (maybe even the paperwork he's supposed to have been doing for an hour now) but every time he blinks, he sees your face again.
He has suspected the shift in your feelings for a little while now, but that night at the bar confirmed something he isn't sure he's ready to handle. He feels it too - of course he does - but he can't think about it. He can't.
He's floundering with Jack, with trying to be there for both him and the team, and he just lost Haley. God, he just lost Haley, and the idea of losing you too because he fucks it up just like he did with her is unimaginable. They were together for decades - they had a child together - and still he couldn't give her what she needed. Your friendship means everything to him, and if he does something to ruin your relationship too, he wouldn't be able to live with himself.
He glances out his window and sees you still talking to Emily, both of your heads now bent down to look at an open case file. She says something to you, and your face lights up as you grin at her. Something that feels like lava pools in his gut and he swallows thickly as he turns back to his paperwork.
***
You head back to your desk and drop the case file down as you resist the urge to glance up at his office window. He hasn't looked at you once today, and you can't help it as your mind goes to the worst case scenario of losing him forever because of one stupid moment.
You had considered pretending that you don't remember anything from the bar, but he just left you there. That isn't something you can forget so easily, and even as you're trying to ignore it, you don't want to avoid him. But it isn't that simple.
You're simultaneously hurt and embarrassed, but it isn't even your own feelings that are at the forefront of your mind. You haven't been to his place in over a week, and you miss Jack and you miss him. You haven't gone this long without talking to him in years.
Fuck.
***
Your quest to stay out of trouble results in you staying late at the office to get ahead on all of your work. Most nights you were staying even later than JJ and Aaron, but then JJ got sent to the DoD as a media liaison, and the work started piling up.
You did what you could to intercept some of the paperwork before it landed on his desk, especially since Jack was so close to starting preschool and you know Aaron wants to take any extra moment of face time he can get, but it wasn't a foolproof system.
That's why it's almost midnight after getting back from a case in Ohio, and Aaron's office light is still on. Knowing it's about time you broke the cone of silence you've been under, you walk up the stairs, giving yourself ample time to change your mind.
A minute later, you knock on his door, before pushing it open gently, waiting to see the look on his face.
"Oh, you're still here," he says, his eyes lingering on you for an extra moment before turning back to his work. "Come in."
You shut the door behind you and sit in the chair in front of his desk. It doesn't sink like it usually does, and it takes you a second to realize that he finally replaced it. After all this time...
"Are you heading home soon?" you ask, trying to feign nonchalance. You can't remember the last time you overthought every single thing you said to him.
Yes, you do, your brain mocks you. A film reel of your awkward senior year of high school starts playing in your mind and one lone thought sticks out among the cacophony of memories. You loved him.
"Yeah, I'm almost done," he says with a sigh, his eyes still trained on his paper.
You frown. "Really?"
"No."
That surprises a chuckle out of you and you lean forward in the chair. It's stiffer than you're used to, and it creaks as you slide in closer. "Want any help?"
He shakes his head. "You should head home. It's late."
You don't say anything and when he finally meets your eye, you shoot him a look.
He sighs, begrudgingly handing you a stack of files. "With JJ gone, it's been a little hectic. I have to go through the new cases coming in, as well as completing the post-case paperwork."
"Shit," you whisper, not knowing what else to say. Even as you tried to cut down his workload, it wasn't even scratching the surface. "I didn't realize that was all on you."
"Yeah, for the time being," he shrugs, raking a hand through his hair to push it back, even as it bounces right back into place. "But it'll be easier when they bring us someone new."
That stops you in your tracks. "How new? Because you know I really liked Jordan, but she was too green for the BAU."
"Newer," he says, his voice tinged with amusement. "They're considering some Academy cadets who are finishing up their remedial training."
"Cadets?" you echo, your voice rising an octave. "They're babies."
"They're at least 25," he states, the corner of his lip twitching. "Besides, their remedial training would have been with the BAU, so they'll know what they're getting into."
They'll know what they're getting into.
It's not a dig, but the juvenile corner of your brain hangs onto his words, trying to make out some double meaning.
"That's some relief, I guess." You flip open the first file, trying to pay attention as you scan the brief, but it just reminds you of how much you miss JJ.
"She was so much better at this," you groan, flipping the page. "I'm not sure anyone can replace her."
"I'm definitely sure that no one can," Aaron says simply as he glances up at you, "but we'll take any help we can get at this point."
There's a layer of subtext behind his tone, and you don't know if you're equipped to decipher it right now, after being up for almost 24 hours. Nevertheless, you don't give in as he looks at you, refusing to break eye contact.
Please be okay, your mind begs as the corners of his eyes crinkle. Please say I didn't fuck this all up.
His eyebrows raise slightly, checking in on you for the first time in so so long, and another thought takes over your mind. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Blinking away the thought, you nod, but you can't stop yourself as you clarify, "It's just a temp assignment, right?"
He finishes the sentence he was writing before looking up. "Yes. It's only temporary."
***
"Daddy, don't look at me."
Jack's voice filters out from his bedroom and he looks at Jess with a small laugh as she pretends to lock her lips and toss away the key.
"I'm not looking," he calls out. "Are you almost ready?"
There's a small sound of affirmation from down the hall, so he stands up from the couch and reaches for the little jack-o-lantern bag that Jack wanted to use for trick-or-treating.
When he looks up, his son is emerging from his room, dressed incredibly unlike the comic book character he wanted to be for Halloween.
"Whoa," Aaron says, his voice a low rumble. "That is definitely not Spider-Man."
Jack just shrugs. "He's not a real superhero."
"He's not?" He looks at his son again, trying to discern which superhero wears a suit. "Okay. I give up. Who are you supposed to be?"
The answer is immediate. "I'm you, Daddy."
Jess nudges his shoulder with a laugh before she walks forward and swings Jack into the air. "You look just like him, bud!"
He opens his mouth to add onto that sentiment, but his throat thickens with emotion and he has to clear his throat to get a word out. "You tied my tie so well." It's the best he can do with his eyes burning. All he wanted was for his son to feel safe and loved. Maybe I'm doing something right.
"Alright, buddy," Jess smiles, setting him down. "Grab your coat and shoes and we'll head out."
Jack runs off and she smiles at him again, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're a great dad."
"Thank you," he says simply, his lips curving up into a smile. She says it a lot, but for the first time in a while, he's finally starting to believe it.
Jess opens her mouth to say something, but she pauses for an extra second, piquing his interest. "I haven't seen Y/N around here in a little bit."
There it is. He should've seen it coming. "Yeah, she's just busy."
His words don't sound convincing, even to his own ears, and Jess shoots him a look to match. "I happen to know you quite well, Aaron. So if you're overthinking something you shouldn't be, let me be the first to say, you're being an idiot."
He lets out a surprised snort. "Thanks, Jessica."
"I'm just saying," she shrugs, tucking a strand of curly hair behind her ear. "I see things...and I know both of you, so it's not hard to read into things."
He takes a deep breath, pushing his hair back from his forehead. "It's not like that."
He expects her to push back, but she just presses her lips together and shrugs her coat on. "Either way, Haley saw it too...and she seemed happy about it."
Before he has a chance to fully process her words, Jack rushes out, barreling into him. "I'm ready!"
"Alright, my little G-man," he grins, pushing her words out of his head for the night. "Let's go get some candy."
***
Things have been shifting at the office. Ever since JJ left, the team has felt smaller, and with your unintentional (okay, maybe a little intentional) avoidance of Aaron, the office hasn't felt the same in a long time.
Everyone has been taking on more than they're used to, and when Penelope had to fill in for JJ in a press conference during your last case, you couldn't help but notice how she turned to Aaron for support whenever she felt unprepared.
Your curiosity about their shared secret was eating at you all day, until you received a mass email from him to the whole team. Re: Garcia's play, Tolgate Theater, 8pm
You didn't have any plans tonight anyway, and after long days in a seemingly endless rotation of slacks and blazers, you welcome the chance to dress up a little bit. It's not like you go out often (or at all) unless it's with the team.
Pushing to the back of your closet, you rifle through the longer dresses and gowns you own, before landing on a light green, silk number. It has a halter neckline that drapes loosely around your neck, and you haven't worn it since before Jeff died, because it always felt like too much.
But Emily messaged you after getting home with a photo of her dress too, and even though it may be a lot for a little neighborhood theater, you're excited about something for the first time in a long while.
After putting on the dress and doing your makeup a bit darker than usual, you grab your keys and head out.
~
He got to the theater a bit earlier than the rest of the team, mostly to apologize to Garcia and warn her about the onslaught of support she was going to be getting, but he also wanted to get there before you did, so he could save a seat for you beside him.
From an outsider's perspective, he imagines there wouldn't seem to be anything different or wrong with your relationship, but he has been feeling the frustrating tension between the two of you since that night out.
Speaking with Jess on Halloween felt like a welcome reprieve from his cycle of self-loathing, and he finally feels more free than he has in ages.
Emily, Derek, and Spencer arrive a short while later, and he points them toward the seats he booked out, before heading back to the lobby, where family and friends of the performers are milling around.
When Dave arrives, he's also dressed in a suit. "We certainly clean up nicely."
He coughs out a laugh. "I haven't pulled this suit out in years."
"Well, aside from the cobwebs," Dave jokes, brushing an imaginary piece of dust from his shoulder, "you look classy."
"Thanks," he smiles, patting the older man's arm. "You should head inside. We're sitting about halfway up."
"You coming?" Dave asks as he steps around him.
Aaron shakes his head, glancing back at the door again. "I'm going to wait for...everyone to get here. I'll meet you inside."
He nods, before smacking his shoulder once and walking into the theater. When Dave's out of sight, he turns back around and pulls his phone out, trying to look busy.
He scrolls through a couple of his latest emails before tucking his phone away. The front door of the theater opens then, and when he looks up, all of the air leaves his lungs.
It feels like the world is moving in slow motion as you glide inside, your dress billowing down as the breeze from outside settles. You look incredible, and he feels like a teenager again, when he was so in love with you he couldn't breathe.
He watches you glance around, clearly searching for a familiar face, so he walks up, approaching you slowly to give you time to notice him.
"Oh, hi!" you say, your lips curving up into a smile as he tucks a hand into his pocket. "Am I late?"
"Not at all," he says, hating how strained his voice sounds. "The play starts at the top of the hour."
"Perfect," you smile, removing your shawl from your shoulders and folding it in your hands. "You clean up well, by the way."
There's a slight tinge of humor in your voice, and you're looking at him expectantly, likely waiting for him to lead you to the seats, but he can't move. He's terrified of what he's feeling, but you look amazing, and he's surrounded by people he doesn't know, so he doesn't overthink it as he reaches out and slips a hand onto your waist.
You clearly aren't expecting it as he pulls you in closer, his fingers sliding across the silkiness of your dress. You smell like flowers, and he can't help himself as he leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. "You're beautiful."
Reality doesn't set in until he lets you go. Your cheeks are slightly flushed and he can't think straight, but the moment you step away from him and head to theater doors, the fog clears.
What is he doing?
The rational part of his brain takes over and he mumbles a curse under his breath before jogging forward to follow you inside. At least for the time being, he has the play to cover himself, but when morning comes, and brings with it the harsh light of day, he's fucked.
***
His skin is burning. The temperature in his office feels like it has been turned all the way up, but even as he undoes his cufflinks and rolls his sleeves back, the heat doesn't abate.
He is loosening his tie when his office door opens, revealing you in your rumpled button down and slacks. He opens his mouth to ask why you're still here, but before he can get a word out, you're shutting the door behind you and locking it.
"What are you doing?" he asks as you saunter over to him, stepping around his desk and pressing your hands to the armrests of his chair. "Y/N, it's late-"
"Shut up," you say firmly, twisting his chair toward you with a strong pull. He moves to get up, but you push his shoulder down to keep him in his chair.
He already doesn't know what to say, but every thought leaves his brain as you sink down to your knees before him.
"Don't move," you whisper, your eyes glinting up at him as you deftly undo the buckle of his belt and yank his pants open. "I'm in charge now."
He lets out a gasp as you tug his pants down in one go, and before he can do anything, your fingers are on him. Your lips curve into a smile as his breath hitches, and even with the thin fabric of his boxers between you two, the sensations coursing through him feel so magnified and new.
He is already hard as a rock, and you've barely even touched him. Teasingly slow, you pull his boxers down, watching as his cock springs free from the confines. Without wasting another second, you run your tongue up his length, and he grits his teeth to keep the groans in his throat from spilling out.
Your lips slowly close around his tip and the wet heat makes his head fall back as he tries to calm his breathing down. His chest is heaving like he just went for a run, but when you hollow your cheeks around him, he can't keep the moan inside. He loses control for a moment as he reaches forward to grasp onto your hair, but that only seems to spur you on, as you bob your head even faster.
The wet sounds of your mouth sliding over his cock fill the office, and he clutches his armrest with one hand and uses the other to guide your head.
He's already so close, and the soft grip of your hands on his thighs aren't helping as he tries to hold off, to prolong this feeling. At the last second, you swirl your tongue around the tip, and he chokes out a gasp, but then-
His eyes fly open to the lonely darkness of his bedroom. The room is warmer than it usually is, and his skin feels sticky with sweat under his covers. His mind, on the other hand...
He doesn't remember every moment of the dream, but the message was clear enough. His boxers are still tight from the memory, and he tries as hard as he can to think about anything else, but he keeps going back to the image of you, in front of him, kneeling-
Throwing the covers off, he sits up quickly and climbs out of bed, needing to clear his head in the only effective way he knows of. He shrugs his clothes off on the way to the bathroom, and he turns the shower on, making the water steaming hot, before stepping inside. The steam fogs up the glass around him, but he can still see the bare outline of his shame in the mirror across from the shower.
But now isn't the time, not with his skin burning and his cock pulsing in his hand. He pumps a few times as the hot water cascades over him, trying to set a rhythm, but it doesn't feel right. He keeps nearing the edge before the wave pulls back, and he lets out a soft groan in frustration as he presses his forehead to the glass.
Just once, he thinks as he grips himself again, his mind shifting back to his dream. Only this once.
His brain fills with the images from earlier: you on your knees, your mouth warm and wet over him, the pinpricks of sweat across the swells of your chest where your shirt was unbuttoned. He pictures your mouth as he ruts into his own hand, pretending, wishing, it was you instead.
It only takes a few more pumps before he finishes, spilling onto the white floor of his shower. The energy leaves him as he slumps against the wall, twisting the knob to a cooler setting, before shutting it off completely.
He still has a few more hours of sleep left before he has to get up for work, but he spends all night tossing and turning in the wide, empty expanse of his bed.
***
"What do you think he meant?"
"Maybe it's like a new manual, or guidebook."
"What are you two on about?" You walk up to your desk and slump down into the chair as Emily and Spencer look up with meek smiles.
Spencer is the first to crack. "We were discussing what Hotch might have meant by a 'different tactic' to solve this case in New Mexico."
You frown. "The gated community one? I thought Dave was just flying over ahead of us to get a head start."
"Nope," Emily shakes her head, before turning around. "He's in Hotch's office right now."
You look up just as Aaron and Dave exit the office and begin their descent down the stairs. Dave is ahead of him, with a big smile on his face, as he pushes past all of you.
It's only after you turn around that you realize who he's looking at. The woman he pulls into a hug is young - Academy cadet young - and she's pretty too.
"Ashley!" Rossi exclaims as he lets her go.
Hotch walks up behind them and shakes her hand. "Agent trainee Seaver is on loan to us from the Academy."
He introduces her to each of you, and you reach forward to shake her hand, a big smile on your face. After he told you that the bureau was considering someone new, you have had your guard up, but you don't want to make a bad impression in case she's here to stay.
"It's great to meet all of you," she says with a meek smile.
You pat her shoulder before walking past her to speak with Aaron about whether Seaver was the the new addition he was talking about. But when you lift your hand to get his attention, he turns away without looking at you, and leads Rossi out of the bullpen.
~
In the New Mexico gated community where three women have been murdered so far, Emily and Derek split off to check out the last crime scene, so you stay with the rest of the team and Seaver at one of the model homes to go through the evidence.
You can't help but notice how Spencer's eyes keep flitting over to the new girl, and a grin crosses your lips as you nudge his shoulder later.
"You totally have a thing for the new girl."
"Wha-what, no?!" he sputters, his face twisting into an unconvincing frown. "I don't even know her."
You just shrug. "You can still think she's pretty."
"That's irrelevant," he mutters, nudging you back and grabbing one of the files in front of him. "Do you think we can trust the local police?"
"I don't know," you sigh, letting him change the subject. "We definitely can't rule them out, especially in a community as clustered as this."
You glance across the room to Aaron and Dave, who are standing hunched over a laptop with the local detective. They're brows are all equally furrowed, and Aaron looks so focused you doubt he would hear you if you yelled his name right now.
Dropping the file onto the counter, you step around Reid and walk over to the trio, listening in as they start speaking.
"You interviewed every adult male in the community?"
The detective nods. "More than once. They're all digitized."
Aaron glances up as you approach, but when he realizes who it is, his eyes dart back to the screen. His eyes meet yours for the briefest of seconds, and he sees a frown cross your face out of his periphery. Fuck. He has to be more careful. You're a fucking profiler, for god's sake.
"Were all the interviews confrontational like this?" you ask as you come up beside him. He can feel the warmth of your arm inches away from his, and he leans his weight to the other side, trying not to think about his dream while you're standing this close to him.
"Is that wrong?"
Rossi raises his eyebrow. "You didn't get much out of them, did you?"
The detective shakes his head before skipping to the next interview, and everyone leans in closer to get a better look. With four of you surrounding the screen, it's harder to see, and when you press your hand to his shoulder to balance yourself, he all but flinches back from your touch.
The movement is harsh enough that everyone but the detective notices. His eyes fly to you as shock and confusion cross your face, and before anyone can say anything, he mutters something that sounds like 'sorry' before rushing out of the model home.
~
You're chasing after him the moment he's out of sight. Dave reaches forward to catch your arm but you shake him off, rushing out of the house and onto the street, which has been cleared by the local police since you arrived.
"Aaron!" you call out as he walks ahead of you, his hand raking through his hair. To his credit, he comes to a stop the moment he hears your voice, and you catch up to him quickly, stopping just short of him on the sidewalk. "What is going on? I thought we were okay?"
His eyes close for a beat, before his face hardens into a steely calm. You can no longer pretend like everything's fine. It hasn't been for a long time - not since the bar, and maybe even before - but you've always been good at compartmentalizing what you don't want to feel. With your mom, and Jeff, and Haley, you could push down the hurt until it dissolved into your bloodstream, spreading everywhere. It wore you down and thinned you out, but at least it wasn't overwhelming.
Looking at him now - your best friend, the man you...love. Your breath catches in your throat and he shakes his head, not looking at you. "What do you mean, Y/N?"
You wish you could keep pretending, like he seems to be able to, but it's just not fair anymore. Not to him, and especially not to you. "No, don't do this. Don't act like I'm the only one who sees how wrong this has been for the last few months. I used to talk to you everyday, Aaron. We've barely spoken in weeks!"
His face cracks for a moment and you see the glimmer of pain in his eyes before the wall comes up again. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" you yell, your tone more forceful than you expect. "What are you sorry for, Aaron?"
He looks at you then, the facade falling away as your words sink in. The lines of pain and tension settle in and you're almost relieved that he's finally showing you the truth instead of hiding away what he's feeling. But then the despair returns as his lips thin into a line, unable to answer your question.
"What," you repeat, your words tinged with malice, "are you sorry for?"
He whispers your name softly, like it's an apology on it's own, before using his next words to tear you to pieces. "Don't make me say it."
A soft gasp leaves your mouth and you involuntarily take a step back, like he's slapped you in the face. He runs a hand over his neck and a sudden feverish anger rushes through you as you shake your head, blinking back tears. "Don't do that. I know it's not just me, Aaron. It's not-"
"Please," he whispers suddenly, cutting you off. "Please don't do this."
It's almost like he's begging you, and you jerk back, unable to look at him. Men have hurt you before, in so many ways, but nothing has ever cut deeper than this. You don't think your bullet wound hurt this much, and at least then you had him to support you. Now you're all alone.
The aching heartbreak hits you all at once and you brush a loose tear off your cheek before turning around and leaving him out on the sidewalk, watching you walk away.
***
"Something's up."
Penelope bumps Emily's shoulder to grab her attention. After a second, she looks up from her desk. "What was that?"
"Something," Penelope repeats, her eyes darting back and forth between you and Aaron, "is up. Y/N and Hotch haven't looked at each other in like four days. Earlier, she was talking to someone on the stairs and he literally walked out of his office and then back inside again."
Emily looks at her. "Are you sure you aren't reading into anything?"
Penelope shoots her a look that can only mean 'you're kidding, right?' "They're inseparable. Something must have happened in the last few weeks that we don't know about."
Before she can stop her, Penelope stands up and barrels over to you, with Emily on her heels like an owner who just dropped her dog's leash.
"Y/N!" Penelope calls out as she approaches you. You look up from your desk with a frown, before your face breaks into a forced smile that both of them can see through immediately. "We wanted to catch up."
You glance at Emily, who shrugs, earning a look of chagrin from the other agent.
"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" you ask, your forehead crinkling in a manner reminiscent of your boss.
Penelope pauses for a moment, like she's trying to think. "Uhh, I'm not sure. Maybe about...you and Hotch?"
"Subtle," Emily mutters under her breath as your face scrunches into a confused frown. "She just means that you two have seemed kind of off lately, and we were wondering if everything was okay."
You press your lips together, unsure of how to broach this topic, even with some of your closest friends. "It's nothing."
That pulls a frown from both of them, and you sigh, doubling down on your feigned nonchalance. "It's really nothing, guys. I just...can't see him right now."
You turn back to your work and Emily and Penelope share a look, twin realizations clicking in both of their minds. They rush back to Penelope's office, and Emily shuts the door behind them, before they both blurt out something that sounds like: "We all know what's going on here."
"We have to make him jealous," Emily agrees with a nod.
She pulls open her desk drawer and pulls out her address book. "I have just the thing."
***
"I messed up, Haley."
The ground is hard from the chilly December air, and he sits uncomfortably on the familiar granite bench before her grave. There is a bouquet of dried-up flowers leaning against her headstone, and he doesn't have to think too hard to figure out who they're from.
"I'm trying not to," he whispers, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets to warm them up, "but I keep messing up."
A cool breeze wafts over him and the rustle of the nearby trees feels like an acknowledgement. Like she's really listening.
"She hates me," he sighs, his chin dropping to his chest as he shuts his eyes. The wind picks up slightly, and it's like he can hear Haley's voice in his head. She doesn't hate you. She's hurt.
"I know." He runs a gloved hand over his face, the cold sending a small shiver through his body. "It's my fault. I just don't know what to do or how to fix it."
Her reply in his mind is almost immediate.Yes you do.
He shakes his head, feeling like an idiot for talking to himself, even though it's helping him work through his emotions. "I don't. I really don't."
For a few moments, all he can hear is the rustle of tree branches and the low whistle of the wind blowing around the headstones. You have to tell her how you feel.
His chest tightens and he lifts his face, letting the cold air sting his skin, like some kind of penance. "Don't you think I want to? Every time I look at her, I'm terrified it's going to come out, but I can't say it." He takes a deep breath as the words start to flow out. He hasn't said them out loud to anyone, but right here feels like the safest place to let them out. "I love her."
Three simple words and it's like a weight lifts off of his chest. He still doesn't have the answers, but at least he can admit it to himself. "I'm in love with her, Hales. The only person in this world that I love more is Jack."
He can practically see her smile as he glances down at her name etched in stone. Then what's the problem.
"I'm gonna fuck it up. I always do." The words come out before he has a chance to think, almost like they've been sitting on the tip of his tongue for ages. He looks down at the ground again, imagining her sitting in front of him. "I did with you."
This time, his mind doesn't have the answer for him. He's finally in a good place with his son, and with the addition of Seaver to the team, his work load has been marginally cut back, so he doesn't really have an excuse anymore. It's just his fear of losing one of the only good things in his life that keeps holding him back.
But you're already losing her.
It's his own voice berating him this time, instead of Haley's.
You're trying so hard to hold her at arm's length that you haven't even noticed that she has stopped pushing her way in.
The wind rushes over him and he looks at the headstone again, his eyes tracing over Haley's name one more time, before he stands up and walks back down the hill.
***
Dave's annual new year's eve party has always been a fairly large spectacle, but when Aaron leads Jack up his driveway that evening, the sheer number of (expensive) cars lined up outside is nearly staggering.
He knew it wouldn't just be the team here tonight, but he wasn't expecting the sheer scale of the party, especially while his mind has been so pre-occupied with the prospect of seeing you outside of work for the first time in weeks.
The front door is unlocked when they reach the top of the porch, so he carefully pushes it open and leads Jack inside. He's only an hour late, but the hallways are already crowded with groups milling around, having loud conversations with a drink in their hand.
He doesn't recognize anyone until he gets to the kitchen, where he sees the rest of the team (minus Dave) chatting around a small snack table.
"Y/N!" Jack shrieks when he sees you, letting go of his hand immediately and running forward. You turn at the sound of his voice, and your face breaks out into a wide smile as the boy barrels over and throws his arms around you.
"Jack-o-lantern!" you gush, lifting him up and hugging him, your eyes falling shut as you squeeze the boy tightly.
Any onlooker can tell that his son loves you. For a while after Haley's death, Jack was closed off to every female figure in his life - even Jess - but he never shied away from you.
I love you, a voice in the back of his mind whispers as you set Jack down and press a kiss to the top of his head. I love you I love you I love you.
~
After Dave returned from the back patio and whisked away Aaron and Jack to meet some of his other friends, you loitered around the kitchen for a while, chatting with Derek and Spencer about their resolutions for the new year.
You're refilling your glass with some diluted punch when JJ and Emily sneak up behind you with matching mischievous expressions.
"What did you guys do?" you ask, gulping back some punch in preparation for whatever they're about to spring on you.
"There's someone we want you to meet," Emily grins as she reaches forward to loop her arm through yours.
"Oh, no way," you say, already shaking your head before they can elaborate. "You are not setting me up with some random bureau guy again."
"That was only one time," JJ pouts, before beckoning to the hallway across from the kitchen. You glance over her shoulder and spot Will standing with a man you've never seen before. "I had Will bring one of his single friends tonight. He's an architect, and he's super smart and super cute. Totally your type."
You raise an eyebrow as you inspect the man from across the room. He's definitely easy on the eyes, but he's also not your type. There's only one man who fits into that box.
"I don't know," you sigh, setting your glass down on the table behind you. "It's very sudden."
"C'mon," Emily urges, her eyes glinting with amusement. "It'll be good. Just talk and flirt a little, and if you're into it then you have a new year's kiss locked up!"
Kissing someone you just met in front of all of your colleagues sounds like nightmare fuel, but you can't think of another way to get your friends off your back. "Okay, fine, I'll meet him."
~
After leaving Jack with Henry and the other children, he heads back into the main section of the house, hoping to run into you. He doesn't know what he would say if he does, but anything is better than the avoidance game you've been playing.
He sees Penelope and JJ first, but you're not with them, so he continues forward, deftly stepping around throngs of people conversing in little pockets around the house.
"Hotch, over here!"
He whips around to find Derek, Will, and Dave waving him over to join them in the kitchen. He grabs a piece of cheese off a platter on his way over, and Derek pats him on the back when he reaches the three of them.
They return to their prior topic of conversation, and he tunes them out as his eyes dart around the room, still looking for you. He's about to give up when he spots the familiar hue of your hair down the hall. His lips curve up in a small smile as he watches you lean your head back with a big laugh that he swears he can hear even from all the way over here. He's about to excuse himself from the guys when a hand reaches out to gently touch your forearm, and you don't shake it off.
It's only then that he notices the man you're talking to, and how enamored he looks as you burst into another bout of laughter. Something that feels like ice settles in the pit of his stomach and he turns back to the guys just as they notice what he's been looking at.
"They seem to be hitting it off," Will grins, crossing his arms over his chest. "My friend's a good guy, and he mentioned wanting to meet her after they crossed paths at one of me and JJ's dinner parties."
He notices Dave glance at him out of the corner of his eye, but he can't bear to look at the older man, for fear that he'll give something away. Aaron feels the nauseating pit of jealousy in his stomach, but it's not fair. He pushed you away.
He turns away from you and tries to focus on literally anything else, but it's not long before he's unable to fight the urge to look at you from his spot in the kitchen. You can't see him watching you, and it gives him the obscurity he needs to observe you from afar, but it also makes it much more conspicuous to his friends.
You don't leave the company of Will's friend until much later in the night, and soon it's almost midnight. The countdown starts as everyone in the house lifts their glasses and latches onto their significant others.
"Ten, nine, eight..."
He's turning before he knows what he's doing. He can't help it, it's almost magnetic, the pull you have on him.
You're not looking at him, and he can only see your side profile as you glance up at the clock as it ticks down.
"Five, four, three, two..."
He turns away at the last second, unable to stomach the thought of you kissing someone else, but when the crowd erupts into cheers, he looks back to find that you're gone. His heart rates spikes and he pushes through people, ignoring the pats on his back as people wish him a "Happy new year".
He eventually spots you through the back windows, and he steps out into the frigid air to accompany you on the back porch steps. You're sitting on the top step, your bare arms wrapped around your body for some semblance of warmth, and for a moment, he can't move.
He can't decide if he should go to you or let you have the space you so clearly wanted, but then a voice in the back of his skull yells at him through all the noise. She's your best friend in the world. A few months ago, the answer would have been obvious.
A switch flips and he steps forward, sliding off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders. You let out a soft sigh as he sinks down next to you, and he watches as your eyes glisten in the lamplight.
You don't look at him as you press your elbows into your knees and rub a hand over your neck. "How did this get so fucked up?"
He sighs too, a heavy sound. "I don't know."
He's still looking at you, at the tears in your eyes, when you finally take a deep breath and turn to face him. A tear slips down your cheek and his brain fires off sparks again. I love you, I love you, I love you.
He wants to say it so badly, but then the newest factor in all of his confusion jumps back into the forefront. The Pakistan assignment. He has been trying to push it off, but he's getting so much pressure from the brass, and that's just one more thing he's hiding from you.
He breaks your eye contact and you let out a slow breath, almost like you felt him lose his nerve in real time. Without another word, you wipe the tears from your face and stand up, leaving him out in the cold once again.
***
The bureau gives you a week off at the start of the new year, but you can't enjoy any of your alone time. Every second you let your mind wander, your thoughts are invaded by the look on his face as he turned away from you.
You had seen it in his eyes out there, in the freezing cold air as the clock struck midnight. At least a small part of him felt for you the same way you felt for him. But it's not enough.
You've been alone for so many years. When you married Jeff, you were done. You didn't think you'd have to ever feel this kind of heartbreak again, but now that you feel that kind of love again, you refuse to settle for anything less than what you deserve. And what you deserve is someone who can show you how he feels.
Nevertheless, you can't control your subconscious.
That's why you're laying in bed at the end of the week, staring at your nightlight across the room and somehow managing to simultaneously miss him and hate him. It's well past midnight and you can't sleep, but you don't want to give in to the urge that's been tugging at your gut all night.
You're so angry with him, but he's also the only person you want to talk to when you're feeling anything you can't explain. It only takes another minute before you're giving in and snatching your phone off your bedside table.
It rings for a long time before he finally answers.
He whispers your name softly, his voice gravelly as though he just woke up. He sounds confused, but it has to mean something that he answered his phone at this hour.
"Are you okay?" Aaron asks, his voice still a bit gruff from the tiredness. "What's wrong?"
I miss you, you want to say. Instead, you panic and ask the first question that pops into your head: "Why do you think The Beatles broke up?"
The line goes silent for a moment before he sighs quietly. "Everyone blames Yoko but you know I think they just stopped working well together creatively."
"It was probably Lennon deciding to leave the band," you say, unsure where you're going with this. "Yeah, that makes the most sense."
"Maybe," he says, his voice a low hum.
There's no tinge of impatience or irritation in his tone, but you still feel awful for waking him up in the early hours of the morning to chat about a band.��
You take a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for what you're about to say, but the breath catches in your throat as a small sob escapes. "I'm so mad at you."
There's a pause on the other end of the line, before Aaron exhales sharply. "I know."
Your resolve fades almost immediately and you sink back into your pillows. "I'm not mad at you." He quietly huffs out a laugh, but you can tell his heart isn't in it. "I'm hurt, and yeah, I'm kind of mad at you, but the only person I want to talk to is you."
You can hear his breath stutter over the speaker, and he rears up to say something, before thinking better of it. "It's late, Y/N. You should go to bed."
"Yeah," you say eventually, rubbing tears of frustration from your eyes. "I'm sorry, yeah."
"No," he says quickly, his voice hurried as though he's afraid you'll hang up. "Don't apologize. I'm glad you called."
Your heart flutters pathetically. "Okay."
"Why were you up anyway?" he asks after a moment.
You shrug, even though he can't see you, wiping away the last remnants of your tears. "Couldn't sleep."
Something that sounds like a quiet chuckle floats into your ears. "Try turning off that massive nightlight."
Your eyes widen and you inadvertently glance over at the beacon of light plugged in across the room. "What nightlight?"
He hums again. "Goodnight, Y/N." I love you.
"Goodnight, Aaron." I love you too.
***
It started when Emily arrived late to the briefing. She was never late, so that itself was enough to set off your alarms, but then you noticed her fingers. She's biting her nails again.
Aaron finishes briefing you all about the two families murdered in house fires in the DC area, before you disperse and head back to your desks to read up about the evidence.
When you drop your bag down and sink into your chair, you don't miss how Spencer visibly flinches in his seat, his eyes twitching with exhaustion.
"Sorry, Spence," you say earnestly, turning to him with an anxious look. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," he answers quickly, his eyes darting back down to the case file. "I'm... I'm...I'm sure these victims overlap somehow. Garcia pulled their phone numbers, but so far I can't find anything."
You've been working with him long enough to notice when he's deflecting, especially when he's doing such a bad job of it. "Spencer, you just jumped."
He takes a deep breath and you're suddenly grateful that his shorter haircut allows you to get a better view of his expression, even with his head down. "I've been having these really intense headaches lately."
"Have you seen a doctor?" you ask, sliding your chair in to get a better look at him.
"Yeah, a few. None of them have been able to figure it out."
"I'm sorry," you say genuinely as guilt and shame flood your veins. You've been so preoccupied with your own drama that you haven't been paying any attention to your friends. First Emily, and now Spencer. "Does anyone know?"
His lips press into an adorable line. "You."
"I won't tell anyone," you assure him, your eyebrows scrunching down. "I'm glad you're telling me now."
"I know," he nods. "I just didn't want you to worry."
"I won't make a big deal out of it," you tell him, your lips curving up in a playful smile, "if that's what you were worried about."
"Thanks," he mutters, but you can tell his heart isn't really in it.
It's been so long since you sat down and caught up with your teammates, and given how weird Emily has been acting, you figure it's about time.
~
"Have you noticed anything off with Emily?"
It's Penelope who comes to you first about the change in your teammate's disposition. You had clocked the small jab Emily had thrown at her after the briefing, but didn't want to intrude in case it was personal. You're starting to realize it might be a lot more personal than you originally thought.
"I have," you say simply, glancing back at her across the bullpen. Her head is down and her shoulders are hunched forward as she quickly types something out on her phone.
She waits for another moment before jolting upright and standing up. Before either of you can get a chance to ask what's wrong, she is jetting off to the bathroom.
"I got this one," you tell Penelope before strutting off to follow her.
She's looking at her phone again when the bathroom door shuts behind you, and you approach her slowly so as not to spook her. "Hey, I just wanted to check up on you. You sped out of there."
"I'm fine," she says, trying to brush away your worry with a wave of her hand.
You frown, taking a step forward. "Are you sure? I noticed you've been biting your-"
"Don't profile me, Y/N," she snaps, her head turning to level you with a glare that would have scared the shit out of you if you didn't know her so well. It doesn't last long though, and before you can get another word out, she's already apologizing. "I'm sorry. I-I'm gonna be alright. I promise. I'm just having this nightmare."
She details her dream to you, and the profiler in you can't help but relate it to her own lack of trust, but then she looks at you with a genuine smile and you just have to smile back.
"Somehow, you.." she pauses for a beat. "You always make me feel better. I don't think I've ever thanked you for that."
Her words feel so final, like she's saying goodbye, and a bolt of terror shoots through you before you decide you're being dramatic.
She's your friend. She's gonna be alright.
~
Emily's gone. She slipped out during Aaron's multi-agency task force briefing, and none of you noticed.
How could you not have noticed?
You're kicking yourself as Spencer pulls out a sheet of paper from one of Emily's contacts, with a list of undercover names all with the initials L.R.
"Prentiss is the last name on the list," Rossi deduces as you mentally check back into the conversation. Your eyes scan the board with the name 'Lauren Reynolds' written at the top. "That means she's on Doyle's list too."
"Guys," Aaron calls out from Emily's desk, holding up her things in his hands, "she left her badge and gun."
"Why would she do that?" Penelope asks, her voice small like a child's. "We're her family."
That's when you finally find your voice. "She ran to protect us." You turn to Aaron then, your eyes flashing over his like it's the first time you've ever really looked at him. "How do we find her?"
"We need to profile their behavior," he instructs, moving to the front board. "Doyle is our unsub and Prentiss is our victim. We treat it like any other case."
There's the small sound of a door opening and Aaron looks up, beckoning his chin to the back. "Because terrorism isn't an area we specialize in, I've reached out to an expert from the State Department...someone who can also shed light on Prentiss' past."
You whip around to the sight of a familiar head of blonde hair walking into the briefing room. The tension in your shoulders abates for a split second as gratitude cascades over you. God, you missed her.
JJ saunters forward and nods at each of you, her expression already rigid with concentration. "Let's get to work."
~
Profiling Emily takes you all to Boston, where the evidence from the previous victims adds up to the conclusion that Doyle is a family annihilator. When you also find out that he has a secret son, you and Derek lead the team to the warehouse where the son was last taken, in the hopes that Emily would have made the same connection.
The sound of a loud crash sends you running, but Derek is faster and he gets there before you. You enter the back room to find Emily bleeding out on the floor, a large wooden post stuck through her abdomen.
"I got her!" he yells into his comms before pressing his hands onto her wound. "Prentiss. It's me, I'm right here."
She mumbles something that sounds like his name and your chest floods with relief. You step out of the room to call for a medic, but when you get back, she isn't moving.
"Emily!" Derek yells as you sink to your knees beside him. Your pants are wet with her blood, and it feels like ice against your skin. How can there be so much blood in the human body?
"Come on," he pleads, tightening his grip on her hand. "Stay with me!"
"Emily, please," you whisper, your throat hoarse from the unshed tears. You press your fingers to her pulse. "Please."
The medics come eventually, and she is taken to the hospital, where the whole team is holed up in the waiting room. Spencer hasn't stopped pacing since she was taken into surgery and you can't seem to take your face out of your hands, even as people press comforting pats on your shoulders.
You don't notice anything going on around you until JJ comes back from speaking with the doctor with tears in her eyes. No, oh god no.
You barely register her words as she whispers, "She never made it off the table."
It's only then that you stand up. You're not sure what you're planning to do, but as soon as you try to move, your legs start shaking, like you're slipping in quicksand. Aaron steps towards you just as your body gives out and you collapse onto him, quiet sobs bubbling out of your throat.
"She was just here," you cry into his chest while you clutch his shirt as though your life depends on it. "How can she be gone?"
His hands rub comforting circles into your back as his arms tighten around you, keeping you upright, and you can't help but imagine that this picture looks vaguely reminiscent of his home last year when you held him up as he broke down.
Emily's gone.
You can't even remember why you were so angry with him before. Everything outside of this moment feels so trivial, like you've been wasting so much time. You need him now, and you're so thankful he's here to hold you up even though his pain is just as big as yours.
Aaron wraps himself tighter around you, fighting the tears that are rushing forward, because they just aren't fair. His whole team is falling apart in front of him, and he's one of two people here who knows the truth.
You choke out another sob and he tugs you upward, helping you stand again as you wipe the tears from your face. Out of the corner of his periphery, he sees JJ pull Spencer into a hug, and she meets his eye over the younger agent's shoulder. So much pain.
"What are we supposed to do now?" you ask suddenly, your voice so small he's sure he's the only person who can hear you. "How are we supposed to keep going?"
The familiar echoing emptiness of guilt swallows him whole and he sucks in a sharp breath in a futile effort to keep himself from drowning. Your glistening eyes are so wide with despair, and he pulls you back into his arms, mostly for comfort, but also because he can't stand to see you in pain for much longer. When he finally finds his voice, all that comes out is, "I don't know."
***
You can barely remember the funeral.
When you try to think about it, there are flashes of white gloves and red roses and rough, brown dirt, but the only thing that really sticks out is the pressure of Aaron's hand over yours as you stood in front of her casket while they lowered her into the ground.
So many funerals, so many gravestones. The eery familiarity that has made you numb to the loss, even as it threatens to tear you apart each time you let yourself think about her.
It has become a regular passage in the story of your life: meet someone new, learn to love again, and then lose them.
Tears prick your eyes as you settle into the stiff wooden chair in your kitchen. The team has been organizing impromptu get-togethers all month, mostly at the last minute and usually late at night. That's when the loneliness hits the hardest.
You figure you should be used to it by now. Deep down, you know it's not something anyone ever gets used to, but believing that the pain will abate is easier than realizing it'll always be there, buried in your bones.
The pain of your mother's death is still a phantom bruise under your skin, always there, but never at the forefront until you press hard enough. Losing Jeff was a whole other monster, hiding under your bed and within the confines of your mind, ready to pounce the moment you closed your eyes. Haley, on the other hand, was a fresh wound; sometimes, you still aren't sure that the gash has fully closed, but with time it has gotten easier to pretend that things aren't awful all the time.
You wipe a loose tear from your cheek as you check your phone messages and tidy up some of the plates from your table. Aaron came over last night, and you both sat in silence for a long time, until a photo of Emily on your computer brought you to tears again. He held you for hours as you shook in his arms, trying to keep yourself together, but ultimately failing.
The silver lining of his renewed presence in your life doesn't feel as sweet as it should, given the circumstances, but you'll take any win you can get. If nothing else, you missed the feel of his arms around you.
You flinch as the dishes clink together loudly when you set them in the sink, and you watch the water dribble from the faucet for a long time, pretending that all you see isn't her blood.
***
He doesn't know what to do. He wants to be there for you more than anything else in this world, but seeing you break down is like being stabbed all over again, only this time it's his own fault.
When you called last night, he couldn't stay away. He misses you like he's missing a limb, and even if he wanted to stop himself from seeing you, he knows he couldn't. Your grief has brought you back to him, but it feels wretched, even as he shoves aside his guilt for an evening to comfort you at this low.
He had lost count of the number of work-related things he had kept from Haley when they were married, but he always had the excuse that she didn't need to know. That her life would be better without the knowledge of all the horrors that circled them everyday.
He doesn't have the same excuse with you. You are well-acquainted with the tragedies that life brings, and if it was up to him, he would spill every secret he has ever hidden, because he loves you, and you're one of the last people in this world who still trusts him, and he's so scared that after this, he'll lose that too.
But he keeps his mouth shut. And when Garcia invites him to a get-together at your place, he politely declines, because if he knows you all have each other, then he can take one night off from the debilitating guilt he somehow still hasn't learned to shoulder after all these years.
***
"Come on in."
Spencer, Derek, and Penelope shuffle into your house, handing you bottles of wine and bags of assorted snacks, before plopping down on your couch and making themselves at home. They've been over so many times in the last few weeks that you figure it basically is their second home at this point, not that you mind.
None of you want to be alone, and that's why it works.
"What are we watching tonight?" Derek asks, his voice nonchalant, like it's just another movie night with your colleagues. He always starts the night acting like everything's fine, and it really irked you the first time he came over, until you realized it was a front that he just needed time to shed. "Didn't you say last time that you have the original Jaws DVD?"
"What if we watched The Empire Strike Back?" Spencer asks timidly from under a slew of blankets that Penelope has covered both of them with. His nightly ritual involves suggesting one of his favorite movies, even though it always gets immediately shot down.
Derek chuffs, snagging some of the blanket from off your lap. "Maybe another night, kid."
"I don't care what we watch," Penelope sighs as she pulls open a bag of popcorn and chucks a handful into her mouth, "as long as it isn't sad." That's her only request. Nothing sad, please. Your nightly ritual is like a practiced dance. Each of you playing your parts, reciting your lines the same way, keeping it familiar. Establishing a routine.
You stand up, taking your cue, and grab a random DVD from your cabinet. Ten minutes later, you're all watching The Empire Strikes Back, and Spencer cracks something that looks like a smile for the first time since before the funeral.
You watch the movie in silence, and when the credits roll, you watch the names scroll over the screen as you muster up the energy to find the remote. When you finally click the TV off, the silence feels suffocating, and you hear Penelope sniffle from next to you.
Throwing your arm around her shoulder, you all squish yourselves together, like the pressure will keep the emotions in.
After a long pause, Spencer is the first to speak. "It'll get better, right?"
"It has to," Derek sighs, his chin falling to his chest as he takes in a deep breath. You know him well enough to be able to translate his exasperation into anguish, even as he tries to hide it.
"It will get better." You glance around the couch at your friends - the people who have been here for you through all of it - and nod your head, choosing this moment to really believe it. "It will."
***
It doesn't.
A week later, you are storming into Aaron's apartment after he dropped Jack off to stay with Jess, your words already pouring out even before he can shut the door behind you.
"How could you take the assignment?"
Your tone is laced with malice, but he can still hear the hurt underneath.
"How could you leave us here after everything that happened?"
This time the pain is clearer. Your voice breaks at the end and he steps forward to do something, but you twist your body away.
His hands fall hopelessly back to his sides and he doesn't know how to explain this to you, when he can't even explain it to himself.
"Strauss left your brief in the conference room." Your words are stronger now, and he looks up, his eyes squinting with anticipation. "You've known about this since before the new year."
You're right. He's known about the prospect of this assignment for almost a year, and then after, when it became a real possibility, he still chose not to tell you. Maybe before, he had the excuse that you weren't speaking to him, but after Emily...he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
"Why wouldn't you tell us?" you ask, the anguish coming forward in full force. "We need you here. Jack needs you. I need you."
He needs you too. But he also needs to stop hurting you. And he can't see that happening while he's still here.
"I'm sorry," he whispers softly. I love you, I'm sorry.
You let out a sigh and your shoulders fall, like you've lost all of the fight within you. You look so defeated, and it feels worse than when you were yelling at him.
You're right here, but you feel so far away, like he's looking at you through tinted glass.
"Fine," you say after a beat. "Call me when you're leaving."
Your shoulder brushes his as you whip past him, and he doesn't muster up the courage to speak again until you're already gone.
***
The call comes soon. Too soon.
You meet him at his apartment, and Jack immediately gives you a hug before latching himself back onto his father. You don't know what Aaron told him, given how you don't even know how long he's going to be gone, but you can't imagine it was helpful to a six year old boy who only understands that his father is leaving for a long time.
"I called Jess to pick him up," Aaron explains in a hushed whisper as Jack runs out to get his shoes, "but she's busy until the afternoon."
"That's okay," you say, crossing your arms in front of you. It's a defensive maneuver that's about all you can muster up right now. "I can drop him off at her house after we get you out of here."
You try to say it lightly, but your tone sharpens at the end, making him flinch. You sigh, an apology in itself, because you're trying so hard to be supportive. You know you're mad at him - no matter how hard you try not to be - but this isn't the time to show your anger.
Jack comes back into the living room, and you usher the young boy out the door as Aaron lugs his duffel bags behind you and out to the car. The drive is mostly silent, and Jack doesn't say a word until you help him out of his carseat and onto the tarmac at the base.
"I'm gonna miss you, Daddy," he whispers, his little hands reaching up to grab his father's hand. "Come home soon."
Aaron picks him up and squeezes him in a big hug, before setting him back down on the ground. He looks at you then and you shrug, pressing your lips together. "What he said."
"I don't know how long this is going to take," he says, mostly directing his words at Jack, even though he keeps glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. "Probably a few months though."
A few months. That shouldn't feel as long as it does.
"Bye buddy," he says then, kneeling down to hug his son again. "Go sit in Y/N's car so I can talk to her about some grown up stuff for a minute."
Jack bounces back to where your car is parked, and you watch him get in before turning back to look at Aaron. There's a resoluteness in his expression that shouldn't surprise you, given how driven he is by his sense of duty, but it still catches you off guard.
"You'll be okay there?" you ask, needing to get that out of the way before the rest of it.
He nods, before inching his hand forward to brush against yours. It's a small gesture, but you're not ready yet.
"I'm still angry," you whisper, pulling your hand back slightly. "I don't want to be, because you're leaving, and I want you to have a clear head out there, but I can't help it."
"It's okay," he says softly, his brow furrowing.
"No," you sigh, shaking your head. Your throat is thickening with the threat of tears and you don't want to cry in front of him now either, but there are too many emotions swirling around your brain to keep any of them straight. "I'm not really mad, okay. I know you're trying to do the right thing, but she's gone, and the team is not okay right now, and I need to find a way to handle it on my own."
I can't do it by myself, you want to say. I'm in love with you and you're making it seem so easy to leave me here to shoulder the burden of everyone's grief.
"I'm sorry," he says again, his voice softer this time.
You're so much better than me, he thinks as he watches you stand so stoically before him. I love you and I can't bear to see you in pain when I'm part of the reason why.
"It's okay," you repeat after a beat. Then you reach forward and take his hand, like he tried to do earlier. His hand is warm and calloused, and it feels rough against your palm, but it grounds you, tethering you to this moment. "I'll see you when you get back."
He nods, before pulling you forward gently into a hug. Your chin tilts up to sit on his shoulder and he squeezes you to him once before letting you go.
When he lifts his bags and walks toward the loading ramp, Jack leaps out of the car and grabs your hand as you both wave goodbye.
He flashes you both one last smile before waving back and disappearing into the plane.
***
The first month is the easiest. You let the futile anger take over; let yourself pretend that you don't actually miss him.
Seeing Jack and Jess makes it less painful, and you slowly find yourself spending more time with them than at home. Jess tries to spend time with Jack at Aaron's apartment to help him maintain a stable environment, but with his father gone, it doesn't help you notice the absence less.
"He's not eating as much," Jess mentions to you one night after she puts him to bed and joins you out in the living room. At first, being at his place without him felt intrusive, but you've gotten used to being there. "He was picking at his food all through dinner."
"I noticed that," you agree as you pat the spot beside you on the couch. "I'm sure it's just a picky eating phase. Once he settles back into a routine with you it should be fine."
"With us," she corrects with a small smile. "I need all the help I can get, and I really appreciate you being here so often."
"Oh, honey, of course." You give her forearm a squeeze before grabbing both of your empty glasses from the table and taking them to the sink. "I was worried I was becoming more of a burden on you by being here so much, but I'm glad it's welcome company."
"Always," she says, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. You set the glasses down and turn back to see her staring at the tiny picture frame of her and Haley on her counter. "She always made it look so easy."
You nod, not wanting to interrupt her moment. After a beat, Jess releases a heavy sigh and shakes her head. "She was the perfect mother. If I can be half as good of a caretaker for Jack as she was, I'll know I'm doing something right."
You smile unconsciously, remembering a moment from years ago. "I swear Aaron said the exact same thing once. He was upset about leaving work late again when they first had Jack, and I had to assure him that he wouldn't miss every childhood milestone just because he had to work late once in a while."
He was so terrified of being anything like his father. You tried your best to show him how impossible that was, but those are the kinds of things people have to learn on their own.
Jess looks down, deep in thought, and your phone chimes then with a new message. It's from Derek: Hotch sat phone call, 15 mins
"Jess," you whisper, getting her attention again. "Aaron is scheduled to call us over the satellite phone in a little bit. I'm gonna go into the office to see if I can talk to him. Is there anything you want me to tell him?"
She thinks for a moment before shaking her head. "Just that Jack and I are doing well. And we miss him."
You nod and press a kiss to her cheek before grabbing your coat and driving over to the field office. The sky is dark by the time you arrive, and it feels foreign to walk into an empty bullpen. The team has shrunk so much since he left, and lately it's just been you, Spencer, Derek, Rossi, and Penelope around here.
You knock on Aaron's office door once before stepping inside.
"Sounds good," Derek is saying as you shut the door behind you. "Yeah, keep us updated." He sees you then and beckons you closer before turning back to the phone. "Y/N's here. I'll hand it to her."
You take the phone from him and tentatively press it to your ear. There's a slight buzzing sound and when he says "Hello?", his voice sounds far away.
"Hi," you say softly, turning your back to Derek for some semblance of privacy, but he has already pulled out his phone and started typing something. "How are you?"
"I'm okay," he says, sounding slightly distracted. "It's really busy over here. How are yo- you all doing? Jack and Jessica?"
"They're good," you tell him, hoping he can't hear the tightness in your voice over hearing his for the first time in weeks. "They really miss you. We all do."
"I miss you guys too."
You hear some muffled voices on the other end of the line, and you jump in with your questions before he gets called away. "Any updates I can ask about? Like when you'll be done."
"Not right now," he says with a sigh. "It's still need-to-know."
"Right," you whisper rigidly, even though it's not fair. He's trying his best, and he's doing what's right, but you keep punishing him. Because of your own feelings, your brain adds at the end.
"It's protocol," he says, even though you're both well aware of how this works.
"I know," you sigh, your fingers gripping the phone tightly. "I have to go back to Jess's."
"Y/N, wait-" he starts, but you are already handing the phone back to Derek.
He takes it uncertainly, but you just shake your head and exit the office.
***
"Did you watch the other movie I gave you?"
You whip your head around to look at Spencer, who is looking at you intently. You had been staring at Aaron's office door for the better part of the last hour.
You frown apologetically. "Not yet, Spence." He had loaned you his DVD of one of his favorite Star Wars movies, and each time you tried watching it, you were just reminded of the immediate aftermath of losing Emily. "I'll find time soon, though."
"That's okay," he shrugs as you inadvertently glance up at the door again. "I know it isn't everyone's thing. I just thought you seemed to enjoy the one we watched at the movie night."
"I did," you assure him, reaching out to pat his hand. "I promise I just haven't found time yet."
He smiles at you, and you return it before your eyes dart up to Aaron's office door at the sight of movement. A small, unrealistic part of you expects Aaron to emerge, but it's Derek instead. Derek took over his office a month after he left to Pakistan, because the secure line was already set up.
"He has a lot on his plate these days," Spencer says, drawing your attention back. He's watching Derek speak to someone at the top of the stairs, his forehead crinkled with stress.
"We're down quite a few hands," you nod, pursing your lips. "Maybe we can convince Derek to bring JJ back permanently."
Spencer lights up and you can't help but grin too. "We definitely should."
***
The cases start piling up, and you welcome the distraction as the passing months begin to weigh on you. The whole team has been under a lot of pressure from the brass, and Strauss has been hinting at a prolonged assignment in Pakistan that may take up even more of his time.
After a particularly grisly case, you invite Penelope over to unwind with some wine and chatting. It doesn't escape your notice that you're missing half of your usual girls' night attendees, but you keep the wine flowing, and soon you aren't focusing on anything other than the new guy Penelope met at her grocery store.
"He's so sweet," she gushes as she leans over the table to grab another chip. You're both sitting on the floor of your living room, and you reach out hastily to steady her glass as it gets precariously close to spilling over. "And I think it says a lot that he shops at such a high quality grocery store."
"Oh, absolutely," you nod, lifting your own glass in a mock salute. "You can tell a lot about a man by how he eats."
"Tell me about it," she sighs, her words starting to slur. Maybe opening the second bottle was too much. "I once dated a guy who only ate protein bars and steak."
Your face twists in disgust, and you set your glass down, feeling the rush of tipsiness hit you. "That's definitely not a balanced diet."
"I tried to tell him," Penelope says, before her face falls into a sad frown. "I really tried."
"Okay, okay," you say, trying to change the subject as her eyes fill with drunk tears. "Back to the grocery store man."
Her face breaks into a wide smile comically fast and you let out a high laugh. "He's so sweet. He really is just the sweetest guy."
"So I've heard," you grin, taking another sip of wine.
Turns out your last glass was one too many, because an hour later, after sending Penelope off in a cab and clearing away your dishes, you're still feeling the buzz from earlier.
Your face feels comfortably warm and you grab your phone from the counter, with the intention to call Emily, when you suddenly remember-
Your smile falls in an instant and tears are rushing forward before you can clearly form a coherent thought. You drop the phone and rush upstairs to take a hot shower to wind down and calm yourself, but even as the burning water washes over you, you still feel wound tight, like your emotions are trapped inside of you.
She was the first person you would always call after a tipsy night, and now she's gone.
Everybody's gone.
JJ, Emily, Aaron. Aaron.
A sob chokes out and you press your hand over your mouth, your body caving forward under the billowing steam fogging up the glass. You miss him so much, it's like you're not even yourself anymore.
You let out another soft sob as the water begins to calm you down, but you can still feel the echoing hollowness inside of you. You wish he was here, holding you, telling you it would all be okay. That you didn't ruin everything by pushing too hard, too fast. That you love him and he loves you, and it can all be perfect again.
"It'll be okay," his voice whispers from behind you, and suddenly he's there. Not really, but with your eyes closed and your mind still foggy, it almost feels real. "I'm sorry I left. I should've been here."
"You should be," you gasp out as his arms close around you from behind, holding you tightly under the soothing warmth of the water. "You left me."
"I know," he says, his breath tingling the sensitive spot behind your ear. "I'll never leave again. I promise."
"You promise," you whisper, mostly to yourself, as you turn around. His lips glide over your shoulder and up your neck, and suddenly his mouth is on yours.
You gasp as his hands slide down your body, his fingers gently caressing the sides of your breasts as he makes his way to your waist. His lips are so soft against yours and when his tongue runs along the seam of your mouth, you moan loudly, letting him swallow up the sounds.
He feels so real under your hands as you trace the jagged scars along his abdomen, and when his tongue glides down your-
You sit up with a gasp, your head pounding with the beginnings of an oncoming wine hangover. Your sheets are messily strewn around you, and your skin is sticky with sweat, but you can't bring yourself to get up. You take a large gulp of water from the glass on your nightstand and check the time: 3:02 AM.
Falling back with a huff, you run a hand over your face and fruitlessly try to sleep through the rest of the night.
***
Summer brings its own set of struggles.
The heat makes each case feel ten times longer than it already is, and with September fast approaching, Jack gets more and more antsy about starting school for the first time.
"He's been shut in his room all day," Jess sighs over the line as you make yourself coffee with your phone pressed between your shoulder and ear. "I think he's sad that he's starting school without either of his parents here."
Your heart breaks as you imagine Jack alone in his room, waiting and wishing for his dad to come back in time for his first day of school. Then an idea pops into your head.
"I think I know what to do."
An hour later, you, Jess, and Jack are waiting in line, under the beating sun, to get into the Smithsonian's zoo. Even tho you can already feel the sweat starting to drip down your back, Jack looks downright giddy, so you take the win.
When you finally get inside, he makes a beeline for the monkey exhibits, and you and Jess meander along behind him, chatting about her new side gig.
"I'm starting the part-time job in the fall," she explains as you stop behind Jack at the front of the chimpanzee enclosure. "It works out with the start of the school year, in case Aaron is gone for a while longer."
"That sounds great," you smile, giving her a small side squeeze. "You deserve something to take your mind off of everything too."
She shrugs, ever the neutral party, before looking at you with a smirk. "I hear there are some changes happening at the BAU as well?"
"Right!" you grin, following Jack to the next exhibit. "JJ was helping out temporarily, but she's officially back on the team. She also mentioned to me that she might be considering enrolling in profiler training so she can be a full-time field agent."
"Good for her," Jess smiles. "Lord knows you guys could use some extra manpower right now."
It's right then that your phone chirps with a text from Derek saying that Aaron is calling in again this afternoon. The urge to speak to him for the first time in weeks tugs at your gut, but then you glance over at Jack, who looks happy for the first time in just as long, and before you know it, you're typing back your response: Not today. Busy with Jack.
***
The next time Aaron calls in, you don't have an excuse.
You're at work, scribbling out the last few lines of your latest case report, when Derek tries to call you into his office. You haven't spoken to him in over a month, and he's asked for you each time he called, but still you refuse.
"Y/N, come on," Derek chuffs, running a hand over his face. "You know he wants to talk to you. He's by himself over there."
That's what gets you. By himself. As though you aren't alone too. As though you hadn't been completely fucking alone when, over the weekend, you found a pair of socks Emily must have forgotten at your place months ago, and had a full body breakdown on the floor of our foyer.
Each time you're close to forgetting that he left you here to fend for yourself, it comes back in full force, and right now, you would rather do just about anything other than put on a neutral face and ask him how he's doing over there.
"Next time," you say, hoping the finality comes across in your tone. It must have worked, because although Derek shakes his head disappointedly, he doesn't ask again.
When you go to Aaron's place after work to see Jack, Jess pulls you aside, a worried look on her face.
"We spoke to Aaron yesterday," she explains, her arms crossed over her chest. The bureau set up a secure line for them so she and Jack could speak to him periodically. "He seemed to be doing well."
"That's great," you say with a nod, unsure of why she's updating you when she thinks you spoke to him today. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, yeah," she says, waving away your concern. "I told him about Jack starting school in a few weeks, and about my new job. Then when I mentioned you - how you've been coming here a lot - he looked really happy that you were involved, but...he sounded off for the rest of the call."
Your shoulders tense up and you try to relax, so as not to give yourself away. "Damn Jess, they should make you a profiler."
She says your name sternly, and you can hear the Haley in her voice. "I'm serious. Have you guys not been speaking?"
"It's okay," you say, shaking your head. "I just need some more time, but I'll talk to him soon."
She twists her lips into a sad frown and you sigh, not knowing what to say, but she beats you to it. "He misses you...and I can tell you miss him."
You don't have an answer that she will want to hear, so you stick with the usual. "I'll talk to him next time."
***
"Do I have to go?"
Jack's bottom lip juts out in a sad pout as you adjust the straps of his little backpack on his shoulders.
"It's your first day of school, bud!" Jess is trying to sound excited, but you can hear the sadness in her voice too, now that she won't have Jack all hours of the day anymore. "It's an exciting time!"
"You got this, baby," you smile, pressing a loud kiss to the top of his head. "Your dad is so proud of you."
"Your mom would be too," Jess adds with a sad smile. "Now go on in, Jack. I'll be right here waiting for you when the last bell rings."
He considers this for a moment, before nodding. Then he looks at you. "What about you?"
"I have to work," you say softly, matching his pout and making him let out a small giggle. "But you can tell me all about your first day when I see you this weekend, okay?"
"Okay," he nods, before grabbing the straps of his backpack and marching toward the front door.
"There he goes," Jess says wistfully, linking her arm through yours.
You let out a small sigh before shooting her a smile. You love him so much, and you're so glad you get to be here as he grows up, but you're so sad that Haley is gone and he's missing out on this moment. "They grow up so fast."
***
The next time Aaron calls in, you're talking to Dave in his office about his latest cabin trip. He is filling you in on the species of fish that live in the lake behind his place when Derek walks in with the notification that Aaron is on the other end of the line in his office.
Dave nods, saying he'll speak with him at the end, and Derek almost skips over you until you follow him out the door.
"You sure?" he asks as you follow him up the stairs.
You nod, bracing yourself for the guilt as you pick up the sat phone. "Hello?"
"Morgan?" Aaron asks, his voice confused over the line.
"No," you say, shaking your head even though he can't see you. "It's me."
There's a moment of silence before he clears his throat. "Oh, I'm glad you could come in."
You say something that sounds like "of course" and suddenly he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. He hasn't heard from you in weeks, and even though he's probably coming home soon, he's so happy to hear your voice he could cry.
"Jess said you were there for Jack's first day," he says slowly, trying to find his voice. "Thank you for doing that. I know it's a lot before coming into work."
"It's not," you say genuinely, momentarily alleviating all of the anxiety he has been having around missing everything in his son's life. "He's the perfect kid. I'm lucky to be a part of his life."
He closes his eyes, wishing with every fiber of his being that he was there with you right now, and not thousands of miles away. "Thank you."
"Any time."
There's silence for a few moments before your breath stutters. "Do you know when you're coming back?"
His heart cracks at the soft sadness in your voice, but he still isn't allowed to share anything that is strictly need-to-know. "I don't."
Your breath catches in your throat and he hears the quiet sob as it breaks over the line. "I miss you, Aaron."
His fingers grip the phone so tightly he's afraid it may shatter in his hands, but there's nothing else tethering him to his life back home. This metal box is the one thing that is keeping him alive out here, and even though he left home so that he could stop lying to you, he's still doing it.
That's why he swallows thickly and says the one thing he knows isn't a lie: "I miss you too."
***
The team got called into the office for an emergency that no one has explained to any of you, and you take a seat in the briefing room as everyone else files in, matching looks of confusion all around you.
"Anyone know what we're doing here?" Dave asks as he leans back in his chair.
You're about to shrug when a figure walks into the room in a dark blue button down and an unfamiliar scruffy beard.
Your eyes widen and your breath leaves your body as you start to stand up, but then he motions for you all to take a seat, so you sink back down. He glances at everyone in the room before his eyes finally land on you. You can't believe he's here. That he knew he was coming back and still didn't tell you.
"What's going on?" Derek asks, breaking your eye contact with a jolt. "Everything all right?"
Aaron ignores him. "Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle."
You don't know why he's bringing this up again but then he continues. "The doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration."
Your heart falls. No, there's no way.
"Her identity was strictly need-to-know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to, for her security."
Your teammates break their silence at the same time.
"She's alive?"
"But we buried her..."
You're still unable to suck in a big enough breath to regain the ability to speak, but then another figure walks in and you suddenly understand what people mean when they say their heart skips a beat.
"Oh my god," Penelope whispers from behind you as your feet unconsciously carry you forward and toward her. Toward Emily.
You pull her into your arms, relishing the feeling of your friend hugging you back after you thought you would never see her again. Her arms squeeze you tightly and you suck in a shuddering breath, trying to calm down your heart rate.
She's alive. Emily's alive. Aaron's back and Emily's alive.
The thoughts ping pong around your brain, fighting for dominance, but another one buried deeper in your mind floats to the surface, refusing to be ignored.
He lied.
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Can we please get a blurb of big dick Hotch (who knows it’s big) making it fit? Reader thinks they can’t take it but Hotch just knoooows they can. Hehe thank you!
You say it’s big but you take it
Aaron Hotchner x gn!reader
Warnings/contains: reader is gender neutral with no mentions of genitals, oral sex, edging, penetrative sex, no protection, finger sucking, swearing, dirty talk, light face slapping, probably a size kink
I’m so grateful for this ask because I only explored this a little in my last Hotch fic and it deserved more
He’d had his mouth between your legs for the better part of an hour, his tongue working over your entrance as his fingers gently worked their way in.
That, that was already doing your head in. His thick fingers stretched you enough to have your toes curling, fingers threading into his hair.
You’d been on the precipice of an orgasm from the beginning too, every time you’d get close enough he’d slow you right back down to work you up again.
Pathetic. You looked truly pathetic, utterly debauched and completely fucked out- already.
Stripped naked, Hotch had pulled every last article of clothing off you before he’d pushed you back on the bed. Of course, he’d only shed his suit jacket and loosened his tie. He’d rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt but he was still nearly entirely covered.
That was another way he commanded total power over you. Leaving you so exposed to him whilst you had to fight for a glimpse at him.
Drove you fucking crazy.
You couldn’t help the whimpering as you felt him move away from you, hands stretching out to catch him but he quieted you quickly.
“Stop it- you’re being greedy.”
Lip jutting out, pouting like a child- he was completely correct but you made no effort to stop. “I need you.”
Kneeling back, you watched his big hands start to loosen his belt, pulling down his pants and briefs just enough to free himself.
“You’ll get me, when have I ever let you down?”
He had a point, you couldn’t imagine a world where Hotch didn’t leave you satisfied. But he was right, you were greedy and your patience was wearing thin.
You watched through hooded eyes as he reached into his boxers, pulling out his cock before giving it a languid stroke. It nearly made your eyes roll back, not even his large palm dwarfing the size of it.
He placed that same palm in front of you, giving you a quick nod that you understood immediately. Tilting your head, you spat into his hand before he wrapped it back around himself.
As he slowly jerked himself off before you, his other hand came back to keep rubbing the wetness from his mouth around your entrance.
His eyes flickered to yours, knowing he was being watched. He knew you well enough to know what you’d say next.
“It’s so big.”
It wasn’t even to stroke his ego, and the way you whined when you said it painted it more as a protest. Aaron Hotchner was hung, there was no denying it.
Every time with him felt like the first.
That’s why the prep went for so long, that’s why there was very seldom a quickie, that’s why you always woke with a burn between your legs.
“I know it’s big, sweetheart,” He cooed, rubbing his hand over the tip. “But you always take it so well, yeah?”
Your mouth dropped open with a cry, bucking your hips into the touch of his fingers. This was how it went, he’d work it into you with a lot of patience and a heap of praise.
The blunt tip was nudging against you, breaching the tight grasp of you as he slowly slid himself in. Your eyes screwed up tight until you felt Hotch grasping your chin, four fingers and thumb on either side as your lips puckered.
“Watch me,” His breath was clipped as he continued to ease his hips. “Watch it go in.”
His grip tightened slightly as he tilted your head down, eyes falling on the sight before you. His thick cock, stretching you around him as another inch of him disappeared.
“Fuck- s’too big-“
His grip loosened enough to lay a quick and gentle slap to your cheek, shutting you up in an instant.
“I don’t want to hear you unless you’re telling me to fuck you harder.”
Your stomach tightened up, a surge of pleasure hitting your straight on as he spoke. The burn was beginning to ease the closer he got to being hip deep.
Once he’s fully sunk in, he stilled enough for you to get fully adjusted. The moment he heard a deep moan from the pit of your chest, he knew that was his sign to start moving.
“That’s it, so good for me,” His fingers slipped across your lip before he dipped his thumb in your mouth. “We’ll always make it fit.”
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Reid + Hotch
“I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
“Yes.”
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I never noticed😭
watching Arthur's handwriting get messier as time goes on hurts me more than anything.
usual handwriting
and then towards the end of chapter 6...
never fails to make my heart shatter
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LATE NIGHTS • A. HOTCHNER X READER
innuendo / allusion to sex; soft, domestic, and fluffy; gn!reader; shaving the other person; mentions of a case but no details; ~1.3k words; i think that's it!
Aaron knew he was busy. More than he’d like to be.
More often than not, he would come home to you asleep on the bed, clear signs of your defiance and attempts to stay up visible in the bedroom — lights still on, a book open and un-bookmarked next to your hand, jewelry and socks still on.
He expected much of the same today, creeping in quietly as he put up his gun and badge before taking a shower in the guest bath, using clothes he’d left in the guest bedroom.
Sometimes, he prefers sleeping in there. He doesn’t like to wake you up, and since he always rises early, he’ll slip into bed before your alarm or make you breakfast and apologize with gentle kisses for his absence.
There’s a sleepy, muffled voice but he hears it, dropping the towel he was using for his hair on the counter. The hallway light has flickered on, and you stand sleepily at the entrance to the bedroom.
“You’re home,” you mumble, heaving a happy sigh and wrapping your arms closer around your shivering body. “I thought I heard you come in, and then, the shower, I was sure…”
“Hey,” he breathes out, like the illusion will break if he speaks any louder, stepping towards you. Aaron waits. You wait before letting out a heavy sigh and shuffling forward. “You weren’t asleep?”
“You were gone for over a week, Hotchner,” you scold, voice thick with emotion as you nuzzle into his chest and take in the lingering scent of his body wash and shampoo. “I missed you. Sue me.”
“There’s no grounds for that,” he exhales the words in a rush, smiling fondly as you trail your fingers over his arm before reaching up to his jaw, running your thumb over the beard growth. “I missed you, too, sweetheart,”
“I know,” you smile. “Your phone bill is going to be even worse than normal this month,” you tease, voice light and pleasant. He missed it more than ever on the flight home, unable to justify calling you so late.
He hums, pressing a fluttering of kisses to your hairline. “Bed?”
“You’re not done getting ready,” you state it like it’s obvious.
And to you, he guesses, it is. Even with the time apart, you knew him better than anyone.
“Really? Why do you say that?” He can’t help the teasing lilt to his voice.
“I can smell your aftershave in the bathroom, the beard growth is more than you like — ever —, and your hair is still dripping.”
Aaron realizes then the water is dripping onto your skin. He tries to step back but you cling firmly to him, arms wrapped around his waist. You walk him into the bathroom and sit him on the closed toilet lid, tilting his face by his chin.
He lets you guide him with your fingers, staring up at you with a soft smile.
“You look…” you pause, not knowing the words. “Nothing. Can I?”
You pick up his razor and he nods, lashes fluttering as his gaze follows your lips when you purse them in consideration.
“First…” he interrupts, and you hesitate, putting the razor back down.
“First?” You echo.
Aaron tugs you closer, sliding a hand under your shirt and resting his warm palm on the cold skin of your lower back, smiling as he feels the goosebumps erupt under the gentle traces of his thumb.
Your eyes close without much thought and he kisses you deeply, sweetly, and he knows it’s just as overwhelming for you as it is for him. At least, he hopes, and the soft sigh that he swallows confirms it enough for him as you straddle his lap.
He kisses you until his lungs burn for air and he doesn’t back up far, forehead resting on yours as he swallows every sweet breath and soft sound from you.
“I look like I’m in love with you,”
You blink at him before realizing he was finishing your thought from earlier. “You are,”
He grins. “I am,” he affirms, quickly schooling his face to be neutral as you carefully put shaving cream and wet the razor. “Be careful,” he cracks an eye open to look at you, rewarded with the very pout he wanted to elicit.
“You get hurt more at work than here, my love,” you mumble. “The worst that’s ever happened is me scratching your back up or you burning your hand on a pot. Be still,”
Aaron flushes. He likes when you mark him, and you both know it.
The casual intimacy in your warm weight on top of him as your fingers gently and delicately caress the contours of his face combined with the way your breath ghosts over his skin is maddening. He thinks his heart might explode out of his chest.
It’s the longest few minutes of his life, and he finds himself holding his breath without realizing, sighing and relaxing once you lean back.
“There’s my man,” you coo. “Shaven and sleepy-eyed.”
“I’m not bright-eyed?”
“Never,” you laugh. “Well… sometimes, actually. You can be youthful and sweet.”
“Can be…” he mumbles bitterly, but there’s no bite like he intended, not as sleepiness crawls into his voice.
“You’re always kind, Aaron,” you nudge your nose against his. “But you don’t like to show it. And I like you as you are, you know that.”
He squints against the bathroom lights, suddenly far too bright and overwhelming. Your features are soft and bright with love, and he leans down to press kisses to your collarbone.
“Aaron,” you say sharply. He looks up, offended. “In the morning. You look dead on your feet.”
“I’m sitting.”
“You’ve spent too much time with Reid.” You climb off him. “C’mon, up, up. Plenty of time for kisses later.”
He follows you blindly, grateful that you flick off the lights, even if it makes him stumble to keep up with you in the darkness you’ve plunged him into. You shove him onto the bed and he looks up at you, wide-eyed.
“Thought you said in the morning?”
You scoff. “You’re impossible,” you find a clean pajama shirt and use it to towel his hair dry, knowing he would whine about the chills once the ceiling fan cooled the water. “Go on, get comfortable,”
With a huff, he leans back, watching you flutter about and put up your book, take off your jewelry, put his phone where it can charge and be close in case he gets a call.
His frustration vanishes once you strip, but one warning glare is enough to silence the innuendo on his tongue. When you turn, he realizes it’s one of his old shirts, one he wore on one of your first dates, threadbare and exhausted.
“You look…” Aaron pauses. He’s not huge on compliments, hates the way he trips over the words. He lets you climb in next to him and kisses you, no deeper intention. “I love you,”
“I love you, too,” you promise. “Always will.”
He nods, and when you make him into the little spoon he feels like crying. He’d told you — a lot — how hard this case was, and the gentle tracing of your fingers over his spine washes away everything.
“Goodnight,” you whisper.
He can’t manage words back, throat choked up, but he squeezes your hand. You smile and kiss his shoulder blade.
“I better wake up to your gorgeous face,”
“You got it, boss,” he murmurs, letting sleep wash over him in waves. The last thing he remembers is your fingers lacing with his.
to all my hotch fans..
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I’ve got a slightly angsty idea for Hotch if you’d like it:
Reader gets into an accident of some kind and ends up in the hospital, and Hotch is worrying out of his mind the whole time because he’s on a case or something, but all is well and it’s fluffy at the end and just love and “don’t ever scare me like that again” and all that good stuff
hiii thank u so much for ur request!!! sorry it’s taken a couple of months to get to </3 i hope u like it!! | 0.6k mentions of a car accident and a teeny tiny injury, and fluff (duh)
“Aaron?”
Hotch knew something was wrong as soon as you’d called in the middle of the day while he was away. You’d always wait for him to call first, to make sure he had the time.
So, the buzz of his phone in his pocket worried him. Even more so when he heard the way your voice shook through the speaker.
He walked away from the rest of the team, leaving their temporary conference room at the local police station and finding somewhere quiet before speaking, “what’s wrong, honey?”
“I’m okay, I promise, but…” you paused to clear your throat, forcing your startled tears back, because you really were okay. “I got in an accident. Nobody’s hurt, but they want to take me to the hospital to make sure I don’t have a concussion or anything.”
Aaron’s heart was pounding, and he had to remind himself that you weren’t badly hurt, that you were right there on the other side of the phone, talking and breathing. He squeezed his eyes shut and ran a hand through his hair, wishing he was closer to you.
“Okay,” he says, though it comes out in a breath. “Okay, I’m gonna try to get home.”
“No, Aaron, you really don’t have to. I’m not injured, and they need you there.”
Truthfully, you’d love to have him beside you, his hand tight in yours, his voice cutting through the ringing in your ears, his presence calming enough. But you knew what you were getting into as soon as you started dating Hotch, and you’d never expect him to have to choose between you and his job.
“The team is more than capable of doing this without me, I promise. I’m coming to you, alright?”
You know there’s no changing his mind, and selfishly, you don’t want to. “Okay. Thank you.”
“I’ll be there soon.”
He doesn’t want to hang up the phone, doesn’t want to leave room for the worry and fear that’s already creeping up on him, but he does.
The team, of course, is very understanding, reassuring him that they can handle this case and that he should get home, telling him to let you know they all hope you’re okay. He’s driving to the airport within minutes.
It’s only a few hours later that Aaron lands, rushing back to your place straight from his flight after confirming with you that’s where you’d be. His hand shakes the slightest bit as he slips his spare key into your door.
Aaron breathes your name when he sees you on your couch, a small bandage on your cheek. “You said you weren’t hurt.”
Your heart squeezes in your chest as he crosses the room and crouches in front of you, cradling your face in his hand so gently your eyes well up. The shock seems to catch up to you, the relief you didn’t know you needed just by having him near is almost overwhelming.
“I’m not,” you sniffle once and his eyebrows furrow. “I’m not hurt, I promise. It barely even bled. I guess it’s just sinking in now.”
You blink and a tear slips down your cheek, but Hotch is quick to wipe it away with his thumb. He moves to sit next to you on the couch, tugging you as close as possible, your cheek buried against his collar, his hand running up and down your back.
You can hear his heart beating in his chest, quicker than usual, but you don’t call him out on it.
“You’re okay,” he says, and Aaron’s not sure who he’s reassuring more.
“My car’s probably totaled,” you mutter against him.
“Cars are replaceable, you aren’t.” He drops his mouth to the top of your head, pressing a kiss into your hair.
“I was scared,” you admit quietly.
“I know, honey,” he says, shifting so that his cheek is resting atop your head. “I was, too.”
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