#I now invite you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thecagedsong · 2 years

Text

Hey, who wants the first chapter of a fic I have no idea where to take? It would just be an ugly unfinished work on AO3, so I thought, why not unleash it as a tumblr exclusive? Note I have no idea for building the plot or the OC cast necessary to go along with this, so anyone who wants to take this idea and comment or continue, go for it.

The Pirate Adventure (written long before the game concept art came out, fyi)

Katarina arrived early at the castle. Geordo had sent her an urgent invite two days ago, so here she was. At least it was her off day at work so they wouldn’t miss her helping carry packages. Keith had come along like usual.

“I haven’t been here since the International Assembly,” Keith said as they were escorted through the entrance hall.

“Me neither, I wonder if I could stay for the glorious bath service again? Do you think I could squeeze it in? I’ve never felt so relaxed in my life! Though it will be less fun without Sophia and Mary,” she mused.

“Nope, it is entirely improper to ask for a bath,” Keith said quickly. “We’ll just see what he wants. If we get this over with quickly enough, we’ll have time to visit some of the bakeries in the Capitol while we’re here.”

“What a good idea!” Katarina said. “What do you think this is about?”

“Nothing good,” Keith said.

“What makes you say that?”

“Katarina!” Mary’s voice called as they entered a sitting room. “I didn’t realize you were going to be here. Alan just said I needed to visit because the Queen had some questions.”

“Important ones too,” Prince Alan said, walking into the room with his twin.

“Keith, my how your reading comprehension skills have fallen in the past year,” Prince Geordo said. “Though I don’t know how you could misinterpret ‘Keith is not allowed to come’. It’s a statement so plain a six-year-old would understand it.”

“If that didn’t work the first twenty times you tried to prevent me from accompanying my sister, I don’t see why adding the words ‘I am serious. Keith may not come by order of the Crown,’ would keep me away,” Keith said, smiling just as pleasantly.

“Oh, I don’t know, possibly because the crown giving this order isn’t my little brother’s, but my father’s?” Prince Geoffrey said, walking in with Lady Randall on his arm. “Now we’re going to have to swear you to secrecy about the fact that this meeting took place at all and still send you to wait for your sister in the stables.”

“Wait, w-what?” Keith stammered. “Prince Geoffrey, what are you doing here?”

“Garlan, please see to it that Lord Claes understands the secrecy of this meeting, then escort him to wait for his sister in the library.” Prince Ian said, standing up from a couch that had been facing the wrong way for Katarina to see him. “We’re not heathens Geoffrey, we don’t have to make him wait in the stables.” He helped Lady Selena stand up and handed Keith the book he had been reading. “Here, the history of early Sorcier is fascinating, don’t you think? Enjoy it while you wait.”

“As you request, your Highness,” a servant said.

Keith shot Mary a look as the servant Garlan pulled him from the room.

Katarina smiled and waved at him, hopefully convincing her brother she wasn’t going to do anything foolish, before turning to the group. “So why am I here? Lady Suzanna can help the Queen better with anything Ministry related, and Mary with anything political.”

Suzanna cooed, “You really are the most precious thing. Go on Geordo, convince her.”

Prince Geordo sighed and stepped up close to Katarina, carefully placing her hand on his arm in proper escort position. Looking her straight in the eyes, he said, “You are here because you are going to be my wife after we get married. This is a family meeting that affects all of us, so Mother and Father thought it appropriate for everyone to discuss it together.”

“Ah,” Mary said gently, and laid her hand delicately on Alan’s arm. She glanced at Alan, then back to Geordo, “Is it that time already?”

“No, not quite yet, but it draws ever closer, and we have to consider information that affects that,” Prince Geoffrey said. “No one besides us and Keith Claes know that this meeting is more than individual private dates. Aside from Garlan, no servant is attending us. Mother and Father are waiting for us in Mother’s Tea Room. Not even the most skilled wind magic can eavesdrop in there, so it is where we hold private and essential family meetings. We best not keep them waiting.”

“Well put,” Prince Ian agreed, leading his fiancée out a different door than where keith went. Prince Geoffrey and Lady Suzanna followed, and after a moment, so did Alan and Mary.

“Are you tired? You’re walking slower than normal,” Katarina asked as they fell further behind his brothers.

“I wanted to make sure you understood something before you hear everything,” Prince Geordo said. “I will pick you over being King every time, though I hope you are willing to stick with me and become Queen if that’s the only way to keep Sorcerier politically stable. Do you understand?”

“What? Geordo, I’d make a terrible Queen. I’m not cut out to be royalty at all,” she denied automatically.

“The thing about being royalty, is that you have the power to be whatever kind of royal you wish, and that becomes the standard for what it means to be royal,” he said calmly. “Do you understand?”

“Not really. But aren’t we keeping your parents waiting?” she asked, still not quite ready to address the question of Prince Geordo’s feelings, though the time was growing nearer where she promised to give her answer.

“They can wait, and so can I. I’ll wait however long it takes me to convince you of how wonderful you are and how much I love you,” Prince Geordo said, making her blush. “But since you don’t want to be Queen, I don’t want to be King. Can you understand that much?”

Her eyebrows drew together, “but you’re so perfect, you’d be so good at it! People respect you, they follow what you say, and you’re smart enough to make the right decisions and clever enough to see them through. Threatening enough that people won’t challenge you, and kind enough to make sure no one ever wants to.”

He pressed a kiss to her hand, “You have no idea how much I adore you for saying that,” he said, the closeness making her blush. “But I’m only this good of a person when I have someone to protect and someone to remind me to be kind. If you can’t trust my reasoning right now, trust that I do not want to be king. And trust yourself. Alan and I are going to ask you something, and I want you think hard if it is something you would enjoy and think of nothing else. Promise me that, and we can catch up with the others.”

“I promise,” she said, meeting his eyes. Whether something would be fun is always one of her considerations.

He pulled away and led her the rest of the way to the Queen’s tea room. It was kind of odd that the most private room in the castle was the Queen’s tea room, shouldn’t it be like the state room or the King’s office or something?

Ten chairs were set up and Prince Geordo led her to a pair of chairs between Alan and Lady Selena.

“Thank you all for coming, we apologize for the false pretenses,” the Queen said, standing up to pour tea from a huge teapot. She served everyone there, which was odd, but you didn’t tell the queen what to do in her own tearoom.

Oh, that’s probably what Geordo meant by royalty defining what it means to be royal. Mother would have had her or Keith serve the tea, but the Queen could just say ‘I’m going to serve the tea today’ and everyone has to go along with it. That was kind of cool.

“Please, I’m dying of curiosity,” Suzanna said. “Geordo already hinted that this isn’t the official King’s Choice, so what are we here for?”

And out came the whole long story. And it was a story, like something out of one of her books. A royal ship had gone rogue and was pirating other ships, both from Sorcerie and other nations, captained by a wind mage, Selena’s brother, who had either abruptly turned traitor or was under the influence of dark magic. The political implications damaging Prince Ian and Lady Selena’s reputation international and domestically as a throne candidate, possibly swaying his faction to Prince Geordo or Prince Alan and Mary.

Larna looked enthralled, Selena looked to be on the verge of tears no matter how often everyone affirmed that they didn’t blame her for Katarina’s kidnapping or her brother’s possible betrayal. Mary was perfectly poised, like she was preparing for a test. All the princes looked serious, even Geoffrey, who could come off as a goofball.

“Pardon my forwardness,” Mary said, setting aside her teacup, “But I must ask this question to fully understand the situation. Do any of you princes wish to be King? And Your Majesty, I understand you have delayed picking an heir to allow Prince Geoffrey and Prince Ian to clean up corruption in the court, but please confirm if you intend to pick an heir or if you intend to allow the legislature vote one of your sons into your position.”

“I don’t,” Prince Alan said right off the bat.

“I do not either, though I will if the other option is a civil war because none of us were willing,” Prince Geordo said. “A responsibility, not a desire.”

“It is more a responsibility than a desire for me as well,” Prince Ian said, “Though I am less opposed to it than Geordo. I have long understood that this position might fall to me, and am ready to accept it, though I know I will depend on my brothers’ aid should I assume Kingship.”

“I don’t want it at all,” Prince Geoffrey laughed. “It keeps me from much more interesting and important endeavors, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my brothers, so I’ll do it since none of them want to.”

“Thank you,” Mary nodded, perfectly poised. “And Your Majesty?”

“I would rather not be the one who decides which of my sons bears the burden of the crown,” the King admitted. “Though I am proud that all of them acknowledge it as a duty rather than a prize. I believe it speaks well to our parenting that you all desire happiness over power. When I set this law to prevent the recurrence of the blood bath that heralded my reign, I didn’t realize how difficult this choice would be. I have documents naming my heir in the event of my death that my wife and the Prime Minister have seen, but I intend to let the legislature create a system for selecting the monarch out of the proper generation and family of heirs. I believe it is the most likely path to a continued peace for my family and my country. Also my sons would understand that if they are chosen as heir, it is indeed duty that compels them to the position. Does that satisfy you, Lady Hunt?”

“Yes, it does.”

“What are we going to do to get my brother back? Please, I need to know,” Selena said, holding Prince Ian’s hand. She was so brave! Katarina reached across Geordo’s chair to place a hand on her shoulder, and Selena gave a small smile in gratitude. She pulled back her hand, but Prince Geordo caught it and kissed the back of it, making her blush. He didn’t release her hand, but let it rest between them.

“Obviously we have to recover your brother and the possible black magic user controlling him. We have yet to catch Sara, but I’m not sure about the possible motive she would have,” Lady Suzanna mused, “This seems purposeful. There is something someone is looking for on these ships, it doesn’t seem like one of her experiments.”

“Perhaps the dark magic user was a child slave looking for other slaves,” Prince Geoffrey posited. “We’ve led several raids these past three months, but the nature of dark magic makes it difficult to tell how clean those events were and if someone got away. We also have had trouble working diplomatically with other countries to attack this problem, as they refuse to acknowledge the possibility that they have a problem with magic child slavery since their positions benefit from it.”

“That’s possible, but we should stay open other possibilities,” Suzanna mused. “A magic tool from some of the archeological troves abroad are going to be transported to Sorcier soon for our ministry experts to take look, that makes a fine prize for a dark magic user. Or kingdoms that know certain magic tools can be used by non-magic users might be trying to claim it first. Or the plan is simply to sow dissent among Prince Ian’s faction. As for the plan to resolve this issue, to take down a royal ship it would have to be a small crew on a fast vessel with a lot of power. Wind, Ice, and Fire mages would make up the party preferably, as well as something to counter the possible dark magic and all should be prepared for combat.”

“Those were our thoughts,” the King agreed, “We were hoping to quietly borrow Alexander and to ask Lady Selena to obtain an important personal item of Lord Gaiman to work it. The sea has the advantage over land in that a ship can sail directly as pointed, and wind and water mages with the proper tools and working together make wind and tides no barrier.”

“Consider it done,” Lady Selena said immediately. “And if…if it turns out my brother has turned traitor of his own accord, I swear my house will completely denounce him.”

“Selena,” Ian said reverently, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Thank you.”

She was flushed pink. “I could hardly do anything else.”

“We have also offered the opportunity to Geordo and Alan to be on the team that recovers Lord Gaiman,” The Queen said, and Katarina looked at rapidly between the princes beside her.

“What? But to put the princes on such a dangerous mission,” Mary said, frowning. “That seems careless.”

“They both have experience with the aftermath and effects of dark magic, useful and powerful magic to offer, and it might be beneficial politically if they wish to keep from attracting bigger factions. To appear to have abandoned politics when this information comes to light will prevent favor from falling to them.”

Mary frowned, “Prince Alan doesn’t have a faction. I’ve made sure of that.”

“Alan doesn’t, but you do,” Prince Geordo pointed out. “You’ve got blackmail on so many families, they presume you want to be Queen.”

Mary’s eyebrows rose, “It will be a simple matter to dispel that notion. And Prince Geordo’s firmest supporters in neutrality are aware that he does not seek or want the throne and know that Katarina is . . . I think the danger of power shifting is being overstated. If people are foolish enough to misunderstand the nature of dark magic control, which several of their daughters have experienced firsthand, they will push towards the first prince, who has several more years of experience.”

“How wonderful that you will remain here to monitor that shift in opinion,” Prince Geordo said drily. “However, am I to understand that you don’t want me to be sent on a dangerous, several month quest for the good of the kingdom? Or is it just your own fiancé that you protest leaving?”

Mary glanced quickly at Katarina, who shrugged as she wasn’t sure how to feel about what everyone was talking about.

“While I admit it is a wonderful opportunity for you to leave, explore other lifestyles, and gain some needed leadership skills,” Mary said. “It concerns me greatly that your family is considering letting either of you place yourselves in danger due to issues surrounding kingship. I dislike the precedent it sets and the implications about the value of your lives.”

“It’s one ship, one dark mage, we’d have a whole team of the military and ministry’s best helping us,” Alan said. “It isn’t careless. It’s calculated to show that we care. Maybe in the past the royal family has been considered too precious to get our hands dirty, but none of us are that kind of royal and we don’t want to be. I intend to accept the offer to join the mission.”

“I see,” Mary said, looking around, “and you intend to respect his decision.”

“I trust my sons to return to me,” the Queen said. “Including Alan, though I will insist on a light mage accompanying the party to assist with healing and dark magic detection.”

Alan nodded, “I already have a few names in mind. Not Maria,” he said, glancing at Katarina. “She has powerful magic, and experience with dark magic, but she is a liability in a combat situation.”

Well that’s true enough. Part of the reason Maria falls in love with the capture targets is because of all the times she was unable to protect herself. She almost got kidnapped herself at the last International Assembly. Katarina does her best to protect her, but she could see why Prince Alan wouldn’t want Maria on such a long and dangerous quest, even if she is a super cool white mage. Maria is brave enough, but Katarina knows she would be scared.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Prince Geordo admitted, “I can see the benefits of both going and not going. I dislike the idea of leaving Alan by himself, but I dislike the thought of leaving Katarina without my aid more. Lady Selena barely knew us and she knew that I would resign all rights to the throne if you asked or it would keep you safe, I don’t doubt that others are aware as well. Even if the worry is out of proportion, all it would take is one too ambitious noble to make you a target,” he said, squeezing her hand.

He took a deep breath and said, “Remember what I asked in the hallway, think about if this is something you really want, but I would invite you to come with us and be part of the team.”

“How could you—” Mary started to say, but Prince Alan distracted her with a shoulder touch, and Prince Geordo continued over Mary’s attempt at interruptions.

“Your dark magic, sword skills, and persuasion would make a fitting addition to the team. I trust Pochi to help you and to sense dark magic. I would assist in protecting you, of course, while we are abroad, but I won’t lie and say it will be easy.” Prince Geordo explained, never looking away from her eyes. “Many of the comforts you have now would be temporarily suspended, such as your access to sweets, farmland, and romance novels that you can’t carry with you. Anne would be welcome as the ship’s cook and your valet, if you do come. Please tell me if this is something you would like. You would be assigned this job through the ministry, so you would continue to be in their employ.”

“How could you support this decision!” Mary charged Alan.

The Fourth Prince shrugged, “My brother’s underselling it. I was the one that suggested Katarina come with us. Come on,” he said, leaning close to Katarina, “Haven’t you ever wanted to learn if you can climb the mast of a ship as fast as you can climb a tree?”

For a second she saw herself swinging from the edge of the crow’s nest, laughing, and she really, really wanted it. Katarina always wanted to travel, this could be her chance.

“But Lady Katarina, think of the people you will be leaving behind for an unknown amount of time! Myself, your brother, Sophia and Maria, you can’t possibly think of leaving us behind like that!” Mary protested.

“You will also be leaving your mother behind,” Prince Geordo pointed out. “She won’t be able to scold you for anything you do on the ship, and you will be free to act as you please. Keith will have the chance to grow up without you watching out for him all the time, as will Maria and Sophia. Mary will be busy handling politics, and we will keep you safe so you can return to see them again. It is a very adult decision you have to make here, but I will support whatever decision you make.”

But if she chooses to stay, Geordo will stay too, leaving Alan with a bunch of strangers to track down the dark mage.

“I find myself inclined to volunteer for this mission,” Lady Randall offered, eyes gleaming. “That would continue to limit the number of those who are aware of the rouge ship, and my presence will not affect our reputation as I am often absent on jobs for the ministry. I have several magic tools that I have been unable to test on land. As a powerful wind mage and a member of the Ministry, I believe I fit the criteria.”

Katarina could already see Raphael weeping over handling the magic tool requisition forms without Lady Larna.

Prince Geoffrey and Lady Suzanna shared some kind of secret message with their eyes, before the eldest prince broke into a wide smile. “I support my fiancée taking this trip completely. None better to handle Chaos afoot. Until the rumor breaks, I’ll redouble my diplomacy efforts to see about rooting out the slavery trade abroad. I must stay to handle the nobles of my faction, but I’ll feel much better letting you handle this issue personally, my dear.”

“We’ll be able to spin the tale of which of us is credited with the capture to our liking if Lady Randall is part of the party,” Prince Geordo said. “It would be coupled with the reveal of Lady Larna and Lady Randall, but could be powerful to give this win to Geoffrey if whispered in the right ears or supported with an award for services to the crown. Or we could credit this win to the Ministry, with all of us in support, changing the dialog of power factions to between Ian and the Ministry, rather than between brothers.”

“If Selena and I are the only ones present in Court as a united front,” Ian strategized, “We might be able to keep from opinion swaying too far out of our favor, no matter if her brother’s identity is revealed.”

“Stop,” Mary said. “We have yet to hear Lady Katarina accept this in any way. Do not make plans for her consent, the pressure is unfair.”

“Quite right,” Prince Geordo said, turning back to her. “May we hear your thoughts, Dearest?”

To go on a ministry trip/overseas adventure with Alan and Geordo and Lady Larna, to track down pirates using dark magic and be free from her mom and give Keith a chance to grow without her. But Keith would grow without her, and Mary and Maria and Sophia would too and she wouldn’t see it. But if she didn’t go, then Prince Alan wouldn’t have Prince Geordo at his back, and she’d be stuck with extra security because of politics she didn’t completely understand and she could do something weird that would mess everything up. People already called her a saintess for some reason, what if she did something to convince them she would make a good queen? (And she didn’t want even think about what her mother would say about that.)

“When would we leave?” Katarina asked.

“Soon as possible, tomorrow evening,” Prince Alan said. “We’ll take a carriage overnight to get us to Westbeach, and set sail the following morning.”

“That’s really fast,” Katarina said uncertainly.

“Exactly. You wouldn’t be able to tell your family or friends what you were doing, could you really leave them like this?” Mary asked.

“She already can’t tell them about the stuff she does for the Ministry,” Prince Alan pointed out. “There isn’t anything special about this, except for how long she’ll be gone.”

“Which could be months!”

While Mary and Alan argued, she watched Prince Geordo. Whatever she said, this affected him too, since he’d do what she wanted. It was hard to tell, but Katarina had known him longer than any of her other friends, and knew he wanted to go. He wanted to be there for Alan. He wanted her there too.

He said she should pick whatever she wanted, but what she wanted was her friends to be happy and safe.

“Did everyone else approve of their plans to asked Lady Katarina?” Mary asked the rest of the room. “The Claes family will be vicious should something happen to her.”

“I suspected it, when they asked to talk about this between themselves,” Prince Geoffrey said. “I am fine with it. As mentioned, we are not sending Katarina into a more dangerous situation than we are sending my brothers and fiancee into. I believe the Claes would approve the philosophy and respect that Katarina is an adult woman who can make her own choices.”

“Katarina is one of the bravest, strongest, and kindest people I know,” Lady Selena said, her voice soft but her tone strong, “I would trust her to treat my brother right, and to come home safe with him.”

“We presented this as a test for our children,” the King said, glancing at his wife, “to see how they would confront a challenge. We will support their decision and allow them to deal with the consequences of their actions. It is the only way to let your children grow, Lady Hunt. Something you will understand one day for yourself.”

“I agree with my husband, though my heart longs for me to agree with you, Lady Hunt,” the Queen said sadly. “I wish my children safe and unharmed, but I cannot clip their wings when the world demands they fly. This way they fly free by their own choice and not someone else’s. They offer Lady Claes the same opportunity, which Lady Claes has earned by her own independence in working at the ministry in the first place.”

Her own choice. Free. Living on a ship, no mother or Keith to tell her how to behave. Just Prince Alan, who lets her go with a laugh, and Prince Geordo, who is easy enough to convince with the right smile. She’s not scared for her safety, Prince Geordo and Prince Alan totally had Plot Armor, and there were no doom flags with Maria back on the mainland.

Yes, it would be hard to go without sweets or novels, but she was already a working girl. This was part of it. Or, it would have been part of it in her last life. She probably wouldn’t have gone to college like two of her brothers, but she would have gone out to live on her own after getting a job. Here in Sorciere, the culture was that she would move directly from her parents house to her husband’s house, no time to be independent and just live on her own terms like she had always imagined being an adult would be like.

A real adventure where doom flags don’t come from fate, but from not being skilled enough.

Freedom tastes like wind and salt water.

“Of course I want to go! Leave it to me!” Katarina said with a smile.

#hamefura #the pirate adventure #seriously #no idea where to take this plot bunny #it's just this #and some dialog from the king and queen presenting the plan to their sons #I now invite you #where would you take this?

20 notes · View notes

jtl-fics · 1 year

Text

Fluent Freshman - Part 18

Weirdly enough the only thing that FF can think of as they head down the stairs is the first Saw movie.

That one happened IN a bathroom right? He kind of watched all of them in a row to prepare himself for whatever Andrew might decide to do to him. But he’s near positive that one happened in a bathroom. It was derelict and he didn’t think it really had running water (or did it? Didn’t the guy wake up in a half-full tub? His memory is hazy in his bathroom related desperation and may be trying to protect him from thinking about water).

All leading to the main thought going through his head as he slowly headed down the narrow stairway to his death.

Would Andrew let him use the facilities before he’s handcuffed to a pipe?

The worst part about all of this is that he is not sure if he needs to take a dump or if he just needs to fart, he knows he has to take a piss. He’s read that when you die your body will relax and it’ll all just flow out of you and Nicky gave him these pants so he feels bad but he also does not want to face his death without pants. If he needs to take a shit then they’re definitely going to be absolutely ruined, if it’s a fart well…Andrew can’t kill him any further? He can mutilate his corpse a little but FF won’t be around to experience it.

No matter what he’s definitely going to piss himself. He had way too much water at Sweeties trying to consume the spicy ice cream.

You may be wondering why FF has not run away from his predicament and is walking down these steps without protest or comment or plea for his life.

First of all he is pretty sure that if he makes any sudden movements he will ruin these pants that Nicky bought for him. Second of all Andrew had already told him once that he wouldn’t accept any pleading for mercy he still remembers how he asked Andrew, “Please give me back my pen?” and Andrew had shot him a look that had his stomach cramp and his fingers itch for the bottle sweet pink relief in his backpack.

“I don’t like that word, don’t use it around me.” He said.

FF ever the pragmatic sort, “Which one?” He had asked because he had said a few, “I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” He followed up with when Andrew glowered at him only for the glare’s intensity to increase 10 fold.

“Don’t use the first word of your first statement or the last word of your second.” Andrew grit out and got up to leave without a word.

Message received loud and clear Andrew did NOT like words ‘Please’ or ‘Misunderstanding’.

So FF knows that any pleading for mercy would ABSOLUTELY result in Andrew not letting him take a bathroom break before him and Captain Neil make destroying him into a couple activity. The fact that Captain Neil is here is a bit of a shock but maybe Captain Neil has finally gotten the other Freshman Dealer up to snuff.

Maybe Kevin really did want to dissect him to figure out how Strikers keep passing straight to him?

They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs.

Ah, time to face the music.

At least he’d texted Gran that he was going to die when they had gotten into the club and the bathroom had not made itself readily apparent. Sure it was about his current ‘gotta piss / gotta shit’ situation but he’d been wise to keep his cause of death vague in that text.

The door opens and…

This is the NICEST torture chamber FF has EVER seen. (And after his desperation watch of all the Saw movies he has seen quite a FEW)

“Minyard, Josten, and Guest. Table 6 is yours.” A voice comes from the side and when he looks over there’s a man in quite a nice uniform standing behind a soft-lit bar polishing a glass looking every bit like a bar tender at those high-end places you see in movies. He looks around a bit more and there are some other people down here. It’s not quiet per se but it is a comfortable level of noise in comparison to the IQ dropping noise upstairs.

“C’mon Smith.” Andrew juts his chin towards a table in the back.

FF follows but continues to try and fit this nice little room into his world view.

Do these people watch other people get tortured to death for fun on a Friday night? Unlikely considering the upholstery on the booths and chairs looked like it’d stain if blood got on it. Was this perhaps a trafficking location where Andrew would sell off his organs to the highest bidder? He looked at the other patrons who seemed a bit higher class than the general club scene upstairs but not like they had the money to buy one of his kidneys. Maybe-

“Do not tell Nicky about this place, ever.” Andrew says as they slide into the booth. FF nods but can’t help but tilt his head slightly in an unspoken question, “He would absolutely tell any and everyone about it. Eden’s wants to keep this place a secret from the general public.” Andrew explains.

“Nicky currently thinks that there’s a straight swingers club down here.” Captain Neil says with a huff of laughter.

“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.” Floats through his head again.

What the fuck was a swinger?

His fingers itch for his phone but he’s currently talking with Andrew and Captain Neil so that’d be rude but they’re talking to him like he absolutely knows what a swinger is and he DOES NOT.

“It’s quieter down here. Figured you’d prefer it.” Andrew says as he gets up and heads towards the bar down here where the bartender was aggressively cutting ice chunks.

He and Captain Neil sit in silence for a few seconds before Captain Neil offers him a slight smile, “I know you’d rather be with your grandma and you and Andrew prefer not to say things out loud but we’ve really liked hanging out with you.” Captain Neil says.

????????????????????????????????????????????????

That’s such a nice thing to say to someone.

Especially someone like FF.

Especially especially when they’re planning on killing him?

He hopes his confusion stays off his face as he nods once. “It’s been fun.” It’s not even really a lie. Thanksgiving yesterday had been nice and loud and FF had missed the chaos of a Family Dinner more than he had ever realized. The car ride had been…a time but once he’d asked Andrew to either keep his eyes on the road or let him out Andrew’s hands had stayed at 10 and 2 and the ride had been smooth. Aaron and Nicky’s weight against him had been nice too, a warm memory before he developed a possible life long aversion to whipped cream. He’d gotten to go Black Friday shopping and Captain Neil even helped carry it home for him. Baking bad been nice even if the stress of doing it with his life on the line was less so. The subsequent nap and day spent doing normal college guy things had been…it’d all been nice.

It’s starting to feel like….

“Drink this.” Andrew puts a drink down in front of him.

No Andrew definitely wants his bladder to burst.

“What is it?” He asks instead looking at the creamy looking drink with suspicion.

Andrew rolls his eyes as he hands Neil a fruity looking drink as he sits with what is a few fingers of scotch. “It’s virgin.” Andrew says not answering the question at all and must pick up that FF won’t be drinking it until he gets the full answer because he continues after a moment, “It’s like a Pina Colada but with bananas instead.” Andrew answers.

It’s not that FF hates banana but why in the world would Andrew grab him this? Was it just one of the few virgins options on this place’s fancy menu or-

“Bananas will help get your stomach acid back down.” Andrew says, “Since you’re an idiot and ate that mango ice cream just because you wanted to impress that girl.” He rolls his eyes.

“Impress that girl?” There weren’t any girls at the table and how in the world would him eating that god-forsaken spicy ice cream impress anyone other than Betsy. Even Betsy would only be impressed by the depths he was willing to reach just to avoid what he perceives as an awkward social situation.

“The waitress.” Neil reminds him as if that cleared anything up.

“Yeah,” he says as if he has understood the conversation but he has not. “It was spicy mango.” He says because maybe if he keeps the conversation going he’ll get enough context clues to understand what might be his last conversation.

Andrew let out a huff of laughter and pushed FF’s drink closer to him, “Drink your fancy Banana smoothie Casanova.” He says.

No closer to understanding the conversation he accepts that it might be something that only becomes clear after he sheds his mortal coil and is no longer given a -10 INT debuff by his full bladder and revolting stomach.

He takes a sip.

Oh that’s actually pretty good.

It feels like he can feel it sizzling in his stomach and soothing the discomfort there. Maybe he should look into Banana smoothies as a replacement for what Abby has called a ‘concerning co-dependence’ in regards to Pepto Bismol. No one can put him on a medical watch if it’s just banana smoothies he’s chugging down like they’re going out of style.

“Thanks,” he says, “that was good.” He admits before reaching into his jacket and moving past the Megamind toy and grabbing his wallet. “What do I owe you for that?” He asks.

“We’re even.” Andrew waves away the money.

“You bought the stuff for breakfast, those brownies, and the pie tomorrow.” Neil says and FF blinks surprised to hear that they were talking about the pie he didn’t think he was going to get the chance to make.

“You don’t need to buy a spot with us.” Andrew says and FF leans back slightly at the intensity on Andrew’s face as he says it. “I invited you here because I wanted to. The brownies were good but if you don’t feel like making the pie tomorrow? It’s not like I’m going to drive you back to Palmetto and leave you on Abby’s doorstep.” He says.

FF feels gears start to turn in his head.

“It’s good pie.” He hears himself say.

“I didn’t even know about the pie when I invited you.” Andrew says and…

Andrew and FF sit in silence but honestly it’s not like Andrew’s sharpening his knives. The two of them mostly just do their own work or read. FF has been getting his German literacy up to snuff so that he can read the language when he goes there to visit Nicky’s fiance next year. He likes how serious Andrew is about learning it so that he doesn’t have to ask Captain Neil a thousand questions and it’d be nice if Andrew wasn’t obviously planning on murdering him.

Andrew brings dried apples and sends Captain Neil along with probiotic yogurts to their meetings. Both of those things tend to soothe his stomach and the yogurt that had been unflavored before was now vanilla which he liked a fair bit. It would have been a really nice gesture if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew was making fun of his tummy troubles.

Andrew will put his foot down in practice sometimes when Kevin is getting too demanding wanting to know exactly how FF intercepted his passes to Neil. Kevin always backs off and Andrew will do the same when Jack starts to get a little too personal in his attacks at FF or when Sheena decides she’s going to be a bitch. It’d be nice if it wasn’t Andrew staking his claim that he was the one who was going to make FF’s life miserable.

Andrew drove FF around for an hour after Greg had shown up. He found out later from one of his friends that Andrew had threatened Greg after he had power walked away into the building. Andrew had driven him around and had only started heading towards the tower when FF had relaxed. It would have been nice if Andrew wasn’t trying to lure him into a false sense of security.

Andrew had invited him to his Family’s house over Thanksgiving when the bad storm had ruined his Thanksgiving plans. Andrew had threatened Jack to stop him from eating his Grandma’s pie and complaining about it. Andrew had stopped messing around with Captain Neil when FF had made it clear he was uncomfortable being in a car where the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road. Andrew had twice made him go to bed in the last couple hours.

It’d be nice if…

“We’ve really liked hanging out with you” Captain Neil had said.

Andrew was just trying to be nice.

Embarrassment rolls over him like a wave but FF has many years of pretending like he’s not going to die from embarrassment, “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll still probably make the pie tomorrow.” He offers.

Andrew’s eyes change slightly and FF is under the impression that he’s happy to hear that.

“Just enjoy your drink Smith.” Andrew says.

FF does go back to sipping his drink and letting more and more memories of things Andrew had done come to him and lets his embarrassment grow.

He finishes his drink and only then realizes that he is a code red in terms of bladder capacity. The new knowledge that this is not a torture chamber but in fact yet another overture of friendship from Andrew paired with his desperation finally loosens the question from his mouth, “Where’s the bathroom here?” He asks.

“There isn’t one downstairs but just head up stairs and hug the wall to the left.” Captain Neil answers.

“Bring your phone. If Frank doesn’t recognize you to let you back in.” Andrew reminds him.

FF nods and heads out of the club and up the stairs.

He might be doing a bit of a potty dance so he forces himself to become unnoticeable because he does not need cool people at a cool club to see him about to piss himself. Once he enters into a stealth mode that the United States Military would like to talk to him about he hugs the wall and nearly cries tears of relief when he sees a door labelled MEN.

He doesn’t think about the possibility of letting up on stealth mode because he is sure that he is about to make a face that he does NOT want any human being to see when he unzips his pants and starts to take the world’s most life-affirming piss on the planet.

As his bladder empties his brain is able to process the understanding that he had come to down in the basement he had thought would be his final resting place.

Andrew has been trying to be nice (and succeeding it was all so nice! He feels like an asshole! He is an asshole! Gran always told him that assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me. He had just thought it was funny grandma humor not valuable life advice!)

The night wasn’t going to end with Andrew’s knife in his stomach, it was probably just going to end with Nicky puking on his shoes (which is fine because these are the shoes Nicky was letting him borrow for the club anyways, they’re his shoes to puke onto.)

A secondary relief fills his system. His stomach, soothed by the Banana smoothie and now this, feels like it might actually let him live through the night.

While FF was distracted with a piss that would have made any number of cult leaders jealous with the number of divine revelations he was experiencing he failed to notice a second man enter the bathroom.

There was a reason that FF always ALWAYS became noticeable when he was at a urinal and the man who came to the urinal right next to him was showcasing that VERY reason.

He was trapped here for at least ten more seconds and he could hear the man grumbling distractedly but didn’t really pay it too much attention until…

“Fucking Wesninski Brat.” He grumbled under his breath.

Oh god dammit.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear

#Fluent Freshman AU #FINALLY CAN PUT DOWN MY TAGS #You have no idea the number of times that I had to sing hollaback girl to myself during this #It was B-A-N-A-N-A-S #We have now closed the 'Andrew is going to crazy murder me' emotional arc #The 'Oh god if Andrew or Neil find out that I know Russian they're going to stop being my friends and hate me' arc begins #He's gotten a confirmed 3 friends today #And he got to go to the bathroom #He's riding a high #Not only is it 3 friends it is 3 friends who like him enough to invite him to spend the holiday break together #That's so nice #Andrew is so nice #FF cannot BELIEVE he thought Andrew 'eat these dried apples' Minyard was going to stab him #Captain Neil is lucky to have him #Also Andrew is lucky to have Captain Neil #Neil and Andrew are definitely down in the Speakeasy right now enjoying FF's bathroom break #Andrew's ordered FF another round of Banana daiquiri #Andrew: I can't believe he ate that ice cream. His stomach must have been killing him.#Neil: Yeah he was really pale and sweaty until he started drinking that banana drink #Neil: I'm a little worried about Smith finding the bathroom. Maybe I should go up?#Andrew hand on Neil's thigh: he'll be fine. We can go look if he's not back in 10.#AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG #AFTG Shitpost #AFTG Fic #My Fic #Andreil #FF - Pt.18

419 notes · View notes