#I might be too much into poetry tbh but I don’t care | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soleilnomoon · 2 years

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Hi! I saw that your request was open and I might have one if you're intrested!

How about the Monster trio + Law with a devil fruit user s/o that is strong...and I mean strong like one attack 30 marine ships gone.

But they are sweet, kind, nice, gentle, caring and super funny

Thank you in advance!!

hihi 😊 thanks sm for requesting (and thank u for your patience). i love the monster trio + law & i can imagine them falling for someone who exhibits those qualities tbh 💗

943 words, gn reader (no pronouns), sfw, 18+ mdni, short n sweet because i'm too damn long-winded otherwise <3 anyway, i hope you enjoy.

being a proficient and naturally skilled fighter, luffy admires strength and resolve in his crew mates; that admiration definitely intensifies when the person he’s dating is also strong. for him, there’s beauty in that; he’s not particularly poetic, nor is he great with words, but he might certainly be inclined to write simple lines of poetry in order to convey the way he feels after seeing you take on a fleet of naval warships without assistance. starstruck might be a better term to use; it’s almost as if watching you fight skillfully gives him a rush, one that makes him always want to head into battle with you by his side.

it also helps that your personality is sort of polarizing; that softer, gentle side the one that chooses kindness whenever you can, where you’ll run to the aid of others without question. he’s quite proud because that takes a different kind of strength. luffy feels at ease, almost as if he’s home, whenever he’s around you; not needing to be on guard because he knows that you can handle yourself against enemies just fine. that doesn’t mean he won’t look out for you, he just knows you’re capable and not someone that needs hand-holding in that regard. as he’s prone to joking around and laughing constantly, you’re the sort of person that might consume most of his heart, especially if your jokes are funny enough to have him rolling on the ground, wheezing with tears of joy trickling down his face.

he’s another who admires strength and resolve, who simply has no time for those who can’t defend themselves and would rather be with someone who can. it makes things easier, not having to worry — he already has so many other people to protect; but that doesn’t stop him from still looking out from time to time, a small bout of anxiety following him around whenever he sees how ready you are to jump into battle without batting an eye. you remind him of luffy when you do that — rash and chasing after impossible dreams; but it’s a trait that he doesn’t dislike, especially not in you.

not one to sit and stew in his feelings, he often finds himself seeking out your company, sitting and listening to you talk. he really just likes the sound of your voice, your silly jokes that aren’t really that funny — but your delivery and timing is always perfect, he can’t help but laugh — and your natural ability to soothe his temper, especially when sanji sparks an argument out of nowhere. you like to remind him that the more he feeds into sanji’s teasing, the more riled up he’ll be; and while he hates that you’re right, he can’t bring himself to not heed your words. if anything, you’re a breath of fresh air, an asset not just to the crew, but someone who he can’t see himself not being with.

while he’s plenty impressed with your abilities — and it does take a bit to impress him, given his fighting prowess and how strong luffy and zoro is — he’s much more interested in you specifically. he likes how soft you are with chopper, how you take time explaining things to luffy, how you don’t mind robin’s morbid tales — even laugh at them, which makes her smile brightly at you — and how you get along with just about anyone without issue. you’re always the first to thank him for cooking, the first to greet him in the morning, and help him even when he doesn’t need it.

etiquette has always played a role in his life, so having someone who not only exhibits that, but also does so without prompting, it really makes him thankful for your existence in his life. it’s not due to any machismo or chivalry that has him watching for you on the battlefield, but because you’re someone he cherishes deeply and wants to keep safe. that’s just the sort of person he is, even though you’ve proven yourself time and time again, sanji can’t help himself. he’ll always have an extra piece of dessert for you, always plate your food prettily, and will seek out your company with every moment he can spare.

if you can’t hold your own, you don’t really have a place in his crew, do you? so it’s only natural that he’s with someone who is strong enough to fight without needing him to step in. law is someone who tries to keep several steps ahead, who prides himself in not giving in to feeble emotions or being swayed by the actions of others — but, when you bravely put your life on the line more times than he can count, when he sees just how much his crew enjoys your presence, he can’t help but fall for you even more.

it’s annoying, to say the least, but he’s come to enjoy having you around and likes that you’re easy-going with a sweet disposition. his crew definitely teases him about you whenever they can, and while you like to chastise them for being inconsiderate, he doesn’t mind it — much, anyway. you remind him of various people from his past — that kindness, the careful way you handle others, and while he’s not great at making jokes, he certainly enjoys your humor quite a bit. you like to reserve certain jokes for him at the end of the day, when the others are asleep, so he can laugh freely, without fear of his vulnerability getting the best of him. you’re refreshing, to say the least, and he’d become protective over you without realizing, doing what he can to keep you safe.

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ithaquasbbg · 9 months

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Matchup req!! • hii! I’m moony and I go by he/him pronouns, I don’t really mind if you match me up with a male or female lolol; I’d say my hobbies areee art, music, writing, poetry, scrapbooking, I rlllyyy like ancestry too!

I have synesthesia (I can see music as colors, I can also taste music!!) btw!!! That along with the tism oh em gee :000 anyhoww that’s pretty much it, also looking for a romantic matchup cuz I forgot to mention!!

Hi!!! I’m in awe of your tism 😻 (me too)

Matchup 03

Joseph Desaulniers | The photographer

-I think that he’d also be pretty into some interests that you have, for starters. He’s also an artist in his own form (photography) and has a great load of respect for other peoples art forms.

-He’d probably enjoy scrapbooking and ancestry, especially getting to learn more about the topics from you! Even if you don’t explain well through words, he’d probably like to watch you while you’re doing your work.

-Poetry and writing can go either way with him. On one hand, I feel as if he’d like reading your work. But on the other hand, I feel if he tries to do the same, his wouldn’t be great.

-Imagine this: It’s Valentine’s Day and you write him a little poem to show him you love him, and he tries as well. You don’t have the heart to tell him but his is… not the best in the world. It’s not that he’s dumb, it’s just that writing is… not every bodies strongsuit.

-The seeing music and tasting colors thing would definitely intrigue him, and he’d try to learn quickly what colors and sounds you like and do not like to make you happy.

-Frequently asks if it’s to your liking, ect. Hes really caring towards the people he genuinely cares about, and it shows.

-In regards to the autism, I don’t think he’d mind much at all (tbh.. he seems like he might be on the spectrum himself). If anything, he’d probably be interested in the topic.

…

That’s it

#idv fandom #idv fanfic #idv headcanons #idv imagines #idv x reader #idv scenarios #idv matchup

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sergeantsporks · 1 year

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3, 7, and 8?

Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Found family getting permanently split at the end of the story/isekai protagonist being permanently separated from their other world. I understand sometimes it's plot important and thematically relevant. I don't want to do it. People going off to college or living their own lives while still being part of the family and staying in contact, sure, but never seeing each other? Bugger off. Also a lot of the "to lovers" tropes, I might touch them with the ten foot pole, but not any closer than that.

Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Hunter, the reason it was so much harder to hide, is because when people care about you, they notice when something’s wrong.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she gently brushed away one of his with her thumb. “And I care about you so much. So many people here care about you. Your sisters care about you. Jade cares about you, and I’m sure Thomas does too. Even your English teacher—people here care about you, and we notice when you’re hurting, even if we don’t know why.”

A sob escaped Hunter’s throat. “You sh-shouldn’t—I—I hurt—”

“Hunter, listen to me. I was upset—I still am! But people make mistakes. And Hunter, you could never make a mistake so bad that I will stop loving you.”

Hunter fell forward into her shoulder, all the pent-up stress and fear and guilt of the last week escaping in a flood of tears. “I’m s-sorry,” he sobbed, “I’m sorry, Mom, I’m so, so sorry.”

I mostly am proud of this one because of all the buildup I did for this, and a lot because I held off on him ever calling her Mom until this point for the emotional gut punch. And just because I really really really wanted Hunter to get all this, that people notice because they care and that they love him regardless of the mistakes he makes because lordy knows he needs it.

Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Hmmmmmm tbh, I thought we meant "prose" as in "not poetry" and didn't distinguish it as different from dialogue. But anyway, same as above.

#asks #ask game

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forest-of-cheem · 2 years

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my initial reaction to the power of the doctor was… well. bloody loving every single minute of it.

now that i’ve had some time to think it all over…

(under the cut because spoilers!!)

thirteen

this really did feel like such an excellent send-off for her.

she might well have made my favourite regeneration scene of new!who. the way she was so desperate for more time… but in the end, went into the sunrise with peace and happiness, and no regrets except wanting to know what comes next… and the visuals, on the clifftop with light shooting off in all directions…

the AI hologram!! i love that it was responsive rather than just reeling off the standard “if you’re seeing this, then i’m dead” message.

i love how expressive whittaker is. just. her face is doing so much, all the time, and it’s brilliant.

yaz

she’s come so far…

watching her pilot the tardis with her notes!! and even being able to catch ace as she was plummeting from the top of a building!!

i love her literally shoving the master to the ground and taking the tardis with her.

not to mention the way she fooled his ass, and forced him out of the doctor.

she carried the doctor!! yaz really stepped up and said i will be the goddamn hero today!!

i get the sadness over no thasmin kiss, but i guess. to me it makes sense, in a way. it’d be more painful for them to have some intimacy now when 13 is right on the brink of regenerating. and i’m a sucker for a tragic romance.

especially when new!who has only really seen two doctor/companion couples get romantic kisses in its entire run - 11/river, and 10/astrid. (yes, rose kisses tentoo, but he’s part donna, so i would argue it doesn’t entirely count.)

idk. what i’m trying to say is: romantic associations with the doctor rarely end well, for multiple reasons. that we got explicit confirmation of 13 and yaz’s mutual feelings at all is enough for me.

the master

dhawan is the best new!who incarnation of the master and i will die on that hill

inserting himself into all of those paintings was so uncalled for and so unnecessary, and i loved it

ra ra rasputin… artistic poetry. a masterpiece of the screen.

the master wearing 13’s outfit?? i am half-feral. i need more of it.

not trying to be rude, but i genuinely don’t get the people complaining that his plan/motives were too confusing/unclear. like… it was pretty clear to me…

“don’t make me go back to being me” i WILL cry.

playing the recorder when yaz abandons him…

and the way he squealed when the elevator doors closed on the way down to the bunker?? this episode really said here’s all the things you never knew you wanted sacha dhawan to do.

he was delightfully unhinged throughout this entire episode. if rtd doesn’t bring him back, it’ll be a damn crime.

fourteen

look, i love 10. he’s my favourite doctor. but i am… conflicted about his return.

for one thing, i simply refuse to refer to him as 14 when that’s supposed to be ncuti gatwa!!

also, 13 leaves full of optimism and excitement, and then the first trailer for next year sounds all gloomy and severe?? i’m not feeling it.

also, i already feel like those specials simply will not compare to POTD. this was THE anniversary special for me, and it wasn’t even really intended as such. this ep had old doctors and companions alike, and so far the 60th is three episodes of… 10 and donna. and that’s it.

some of my bitterness here may well be the fact that i’m already sick and tired of seeing people all ~hooray the boring mediocre woman is gone it’s time for my favourite MAN doctor, yay, doctor who is saved!!~ like. shut the fuck up already.

everything else

no surprise that dan left, but tbh i feel like that could have been reworked into him leaving at the end of the preceding ep. it feels weird having him only at the very beginning and then near the end.

gonna be honest, before this ep i thought kate stewart was a perfectly decent character, but simply didn’t care much about her. but she was excellent in this episode, and now i definitely want to see more of her!!

the group for past companions is such a fantastic idea and i’m amazed it’s not been done before. everything about that bit was perfect. and it was so cool seeing classic companions! even if i didn’t have any real idea who they were!

this episode is gonna be what makes me watch classic who. i tried several years ago but… i got bored halfway through the second episode. keep meaning to go back, but i never have. now i definitely intend to.

on that note, i thought this was a great introduction to ace and tegan. their bits with the AI hologram were very sweet and have left me really wanting to see their classic stories.

i really thought vinder was gonna be the timeless child daddy, and instead. he was just there. he helped yaz, fair enough, but what was he even there for in the first place?? are he, bel and karvanista investigating alien shenanigans too now??

me, pretending to be shocked when graham arrives, despite having known for months about that set photo circulating of him and dan together…

all in all, this was a top-notch episode for me. my only quibbles are with dan’s early exit, and vinder’s presence feeling a bit random… and tennant’s return that may or may not go down well next year. idk. i have faith in rtd to deliver a fantastic era, but i have my doubts as to whether this is the way to kickstart it.

all else aside, jodie whittaker and mandip gill have made one of my favourite tardis teams, and sacha dhawan has cemented his place as my favourite master. and despite most of my actual predictions for this ep being wrong, i was right about this: it was chaotic, it was heartbreaking, and it was wonderful.

#doctor who #dw spoilers #the power of the doctor #this... turned into a very long post...#but i have so much praise to give!!#definitely among my favourite chibnall era episodes and even more definitely among my top new!who episodes overall #the only real problem is that now i want more of 13 hanging out with old companions and chatting with old doctors!#rtd give us the spin-off of 13 becoming one of the other vestiges of consciousness and spending her days with the other doctors #i don't even care what they do just make it happen

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clonedadplo · 1 year

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Hey I'm a huge loser so I write poetry sometimes, super lame I know, anyway for some reason I felt compelled to write a poem about Sam Winchester's lack of bodily autonomy, addiction, probable orthorexia, etc.

Sorry for this tbh hah hah hah

My Brother's a Mechanic but I'm a Bad Driver

My car never ran too well to start but I’m not sure why since I’ve had it from new.

There must have been an issue during manufacturing.

I had barely had it for a few months when someone put the wrong fluid down the wrong pipe.

Oil in the coolant chamber or something.

The brakes got worn down, the oil got burnt up, the wipers started to flap.

All of that is normal I’m told so I fixed it right up and the car kept on.

The transmission started to go, my brother gave it a flush and told me not to worry.

I figured it was fussy and decided I’d take better care of it.

I only put full synthetic in it, though my brother said it didn’t need it.

It had gotten some scratches so I buffed them out.

I sealed it up with rust protectant and gave it a whole new paint job.

The radiator started to leak so my brother replaced it.

I found out I had already blown a head gasket so I put Blue Devil in to seal it up.

Turns out it just made the car overheat again.

Turns out my radiator is partially plugged into the heater core.

My uncle owns a salvage yard but I’ve used up all his extra parts for my make.

See the thing is; I really am a bad driver.

I banged the undercarriage on a speed bump and scraped a hole in the exhaust pipe.

After that I wondered if I could just give up on it but my brother said I had to keep this one.

I got hit and crushed the wheel frames and the rear bumper.

After fixing that I found out it had knocked things loose in the electrical system as well.

I ran over a downed street sign and mangled the control arm and the tire rod.

After that I didn’t want the car anymore.

I want to set it on fire. I keep putting premium oil in it anyway.

The car might just be cursed because I’m not the only one who's ruined it.

I loaned it to someone else and they nearly totalled it.

I gave it to someone who said they might be able to fix it.

I tried to get it back after they fixed most of the damage but he didn’t want to return it.

I don’t know why he would want such a tired, busted car but we got it back.

The new camshaft cracked from being put in too roughly.

I don’t want this car anymore.

It’s a good thing my uncle’s a mechanic.

It’s a great thing my brother’s a mechanic.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I should be driving much longer.

In case you can't tell I like to work on cars lmao.

Gif credits to no one cause I actually had to make my own this time to get the scenes I want. Ugh jeez, what suffering.

YT videos I used credit to: FanofSpn and Winchester's Journal.

Thanks if you read!, And sorry if was shite was kind of dumping some personal problems/struggles as well.

#supernatural #supernatural angst #sam winchester #bad poetry #bad poem #bad writing #poetry #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fandom #spn fanfic #spn angst #spn gifs

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explode-this · 1 month

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In my tarot zoom group last night we did breakout rooms and read for each other and the woman reading for me interpreted a portion of the overall message as downplaying my accomplishments and being ashamed of myself for no good reason and I’ve been doing a fair amount of faking my way through the downer feels lately but… yeah. The kind of anxiety I have at this time is of the “I am embarrassed to exist” variety. Like just everything about me is so… cringe, for lack of a better word, and though I know damn well it doesn’t matter if other people think I’m “cringe” or not, the fact of the matter is that We Live in a Society™️ so I have to interact with others and how I do that might have the net result of isolation because I’m too weird or off-putting to others. Not even in a major way but in a slightly unsettling “oh this one is real awkward at expressing herself and also has that thing where she might interact a lot on a good day and then be sapped of that energy for the next few weeks, leaving her spotty and unreliable, so why even bother with her tbh” sort of way. Like if you don’t show up all the time, who’s going to know you’re there, or care when you disappear? Even writing it out it just seems so dumb and pointless, like why am I even alive. Why am I a person. Why am I here, what am I good for, what am I even doing other than cleaning my house and making shopping lists and writing the odd bit of poetry and trying to drink enough water and get enough sleep. I’ve been left behind before by people who thought I was wasting my potential because I didn’t want to figure out a way to monetize my “skillsets” (drawing silly little pictures for people I love) or be famous (at this point I just want acknowledgment from people I know and am fond of (who are hopefully okay with the fact that I take forever to reply to texts because I lowkey hate myself too much for being an unreliable yo-yo of a person to even interact with them), I don’t want everyone to know who I am—see the main thesis of this whole shitty paragraph, “I am embarrassed to be alive because in the eyes of this capitalist hellscape I am worthless”).

Argh anyway I have dishes to do so I’ll stop there, maybe I’ll feel better after an ibuprofen pm and some solid dreaming time

#cosmic thoughts #too much information? probably #who cares we’re all embarrassments on tumblr dot com #yet i do care #fuck #why can’t i just be normal about people and interactions and having friends #ah yes #the autism #anyway I’m gonna go bury myself out back by a flowering shrub and hope i can fertilize the earth

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seresinhangmanjake · 3 months

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Don't answer, if it's too personal, but 21?

21. If you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

That one thing would be a 20-second rant. One rant.

I don’t have a ‘too personal’ tbh. Always an open book with some stuff because you never know if something you’ve been through might help someone else not feel so alone. That being said: read with caution...

Without a doubt, I would say, “Kid, you are about to be bipolar as fuck, and it is going to totally, completely, absolutely S.U.C.K suck! You are going to fall into a pit of depression. You are going to make questionable (ahem, BAD!) decisions. You are going to waste money because you’re impulsive (as some of us bipolar people can often be), and you’re going to mess around with men you definitely should not be messing around with because, again…impulsive. You’re going to want to die twice and strongly consider it once, but then you’ll think of your mom and how much she’ll cry, and fuck if you are not uncomfortable as hell at the thought of her being sad and crying so you won’t do it. Then you’re going to drop out of college because that shit is hard and you couldn’t drag your ass to class for anything anyway. You’re going to return home and sit around for a while. You are going to sleep your days away because you don’t know what else to do with yourself. Then your dad’s gonna die and you’re going to be surprised at how not surprised you are that you don’t have many feelings about it, and you’re going to have this revelation that you actually want to go back to therapy to deal with your childhood. So you’re going to get on the right meds and go to therapy and dissect your trauma until it's no longer traumatic because that's exactly what you need to do to save yourself and you’re pretty on board the saving-yourself-train now. You’re going to look at life differently because as it turns out, you were not the problem, they were, and your feelings are valid. You’re going to get a dog that you’re pretty sure you’ll love more than any future child you may have. You’re going to buy a house and finish college and write a poetry manuscript (which, fuck….hard). Then one day, you’re gonna stop and look at yourself and think about what a bitch the last seven years were but you’re going to be ok with it because you learned so much about yourself and others. You learned how to protect yourself and take care of yourself. You learned how to live despite your traitor of a brain not wanting you to, and that’s very important and you will be proud of yourself.

So worry not, kiddo. Yes, it will suck for a while, but you are going to be ok.”

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br4inr0tx · 4 months

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Hi sweetie, this is for the BG3 matchup exchange thingy! Thank you for agreeing to do this, I can't wait to see what you write ☺️ And of course I hope you like mine as well!

I'm an autistic girl who's fine with any gender, though I might slightly prefer a man tbh. I’m a pagan witch who’s interested in a ton of different subjects like horticulture, linguistics, genetics and anthropology/archaeology. I have a very bubbly, friendly personality though I’m also highly intelligent and often called “wise beyond my years” lol. I just think in a very big, philosophical way if that makes sense, so I come up with a lot of raw quotes and good advice. Even when I'm tired, I still seem to have more energy than the average person, and I never stop talking (if I go nonverbal something is very wrong). The most common word used to describe me is “eccentric” since I’m very brave about being myself and don’t care too much what others think of me (at least not as much as some people). I have a kinda outdated way of talking and honestly living lol, I'm very much a grandma in a 20 year old body (though my body's chronically ill so the shoe still kinda fits). On that note, I have several chronic illnesses like scoliosis, joint pain, asthma and a bunch of other stuff. 😬 I love taking care of people, like baking things for people and drawing them cute pictures. I also really love gardening and writing (I’m super good with plants). I'm super short, 4’ 10” (142 cm), with messy auburn hair that's something red, brown and blonde all at once, glasses and a retro/vintage fashion sense that's like if cryptidcore was more colorful lol. My style also switches between very butch and very femme a lot. I can be sassy and witty when I want to be, but I also get nervous easily so it only comes out occasionally (but when it does I'm told I'm very funny). I also need to have outdoors time literally every single day, regardless of weather or season, or I start to go stir crazy. I’m a very nature-oriented person lol. I get super flustered being called cute names like sweetie or sweetheart, despite the fact that I call literally everyone I know things like that 🤣

Alright, I think that’s about it lol. Thank you and Happy New Years sweetie!

ofc! I’m glad to do another matchup exchange anytime.

your Baldur’s Gate 3 matchup is… GALE DEKARIOS !!

• I have the suspicion you saw this coming, judging by how much Gale stuff you have on your profile. Even then, I genuinely think he’d be the best match for you!

• Starting off right away, he’s a wizard, you’re a witch. While I’m entirely the same thing, they have enough similarities to go hand and hand, which is the thing you guys bond over the most.

• He’s also interested in the various hobbies you dabble in too. He’s done what he can on his free time, but I’m sure there’s something he hasn’t done yet that you can introduce and info dump him about. He’s a great listener actually.

• Gale is a very smart man. Hell, he uses big words when he talks, and often drags things out a little longer in a witty manner, I think just to impress people? It could just be a normal thing for him though. Nonetheless, he’s happy you can keep up with his banter.

• Depending on the occasion, Gale can have lots of energy. Especially if he was recently fed an object containing weave lol. Though, if you’re feeling a boost of energy he wouldn’t mind something like going on a stroll with you.

• Gale is pretty eccentric, as seeing how often he talks with his hands and uses big words. So don’t be afraid to be yourself! Gale loves seeing you and your big personality.

• He’s glad to see someone independent as well. From what I’ve seen he’s very attracted to confidence and heroism. See you with both makes his heart really flutter.

• Gale is your biggest cheerleader by far, and if you ever need something done because you feel out of it or sick, Gale will get it for you.

• He enjoys your creativity side too. He’s worked on poetry in his free time, and I believe that he finds anyone with a creative mind admirable.

• He likes colors too! So pretty..he absolutely adore everything you wear on a daily basis, and you’ll often find him complementing you throughly, finding his favorite minute detail to prove how much he cares.

• He’s not very judgemental about your height. He’s extremely taller then you, being around 6’2 according to Reddit. I don’t ever see him bringing up your height unless you do it first, or it’s crucial to the conversation at hand.

• Your sassy side is extremely cute to him too. He even sasses back sometimes if the mood strikes him right. Although he can’t seem to find as many playful, teasing quips as you can, so he saves them up for when he can think of one.

• Gale is a big lover of nature, and is most definitely an outdoorsy guy. Why stay inside when there’s so much to explore?

• He calls you pet names when the two of you have sweet moments. It starts up after you’ve been with each other for awhile, and it’s very awkward and maybe even cringey, but it’s sweet to the two of you.

• It almost feels unreal, the connection you have with each other He never thought he could run into someone as perfect as you, but here you are. For that, he loves you very much.

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straycatboogie · 9 months

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2023/07/22 English

BGM: Cocteau Twins - Carolyn's Finger

Today it was a day off. Although I had thought that I would like to stay at my group home because of these five days working, my body went to AEON naturally obeying my habit. This morning, at that AEON's food court I read a book about Shuntaro Tanikawa, then a woman who I had met at the English conversation class talked to me. We talked for a while. "Do you want any lover?" She asked me like this, and I thought about. "You have to decide your life before you will be 50". At that time, I thought that "I am satisfied with this life". But her attitude was so passionate that I started thinking "Actually, this life could be a 'sad' one". A lot of events I should have passed through... TBH I had drunk a lot since I was a college student, and kept spending my time with drinking alcohol really heavily. I had thrown my precious 20s and 30s away completely to a gutter. Therefore I couldn't think about finding my partner. I should have considered my income, and also had thought that "I can't have the worth to be loved, and also don't have any permission to love someone else". Ah, what a ridiculous thing I had had. But I couldn't find any "emotion" from myself. Just Sex Pistols sings, I was "pretty vacant".

And... now I am thinking another thing the woman said to me. That's "You. Don't speak about the autism from you so much". "You said you were autistic, didn't you? Other people got surprised. They must think 'He says about that from himself'". At that time, I answered to her as "Because that was an introducing time of ourselves. We should introduce ourselves each other, therefore I said about the autism to others. Although we had never met before and it was the first contact time...". But after that, I started reflecting on myself as "I have to think about this again because my attitude was too 'closer' to confess that personal thing". Then, after that meeting with her, I talked about this to my friends on Telegram and LINE. Is that too 'close' for us to confess my autism to others (especially at the first contact)? But, as you know, the autism is basically "hardly invisible" (or 'completely invisible') handicap/disorder. But that difficulty must cause various problems for us like "can't do small talking" or "can't do read the lines". Is that strange for us to consider about the autism before starting the relationship? I can't see.

Of course, it would give the other person a certain mental pressure as saying "I am autistic therefore you must care me" or "You should treat me tenderly" if I confessed to them that all of a sudden. I can read that kind of atmospheres between us, and I want to avoid that happening so I must be careful. My friends said to me that "It is up to you. Do what you like!" and "I don't think that it would be hurtful for you"... Then it can depend on how we treat the confession. The meaning of saying "I am autistic"... I never think that it would be neither negative nor serious to confess my handicap. I just say one of the lighter facts of mine as "I like punk rock" (I guess the autism might be actually lighter for me). And the woman I had met thought that it must be heavier, therefore she afforded an advice to me as "You shouldn't". It is for me an interesting event to think about that kind of confessing again. But I'm sorry, I will talk about my autism to others to be dutiful to this life.

After reading the book, I thought about Shuntaro Tanikawa and Haruki Murakami. I accept that both two authors made the action of expressing ourselves as poetry and novels a really casual thing. In other words, they made that trial of expression easier. Before their appearances, I think that it must be an aura as "the brilliant results of art" within poetry and novels. They are really great because the creators had made them with their whole lives... But Tanikawa and Haruki made them the same level as "daily commodities". The items that we can touch so easily in our life. In other words, they made their products so cheaply (as a copywriter Shigesato Itoi says). I never want to show any disrespect to Tanikawa and Haruki because it is never a problem of "which are better? Great poems or commodity poems?". I choose the poetry which has an aura if my mood suggests. In other words, I would choose commodity poems. For me, William Shakespeare and Morrissey, both are great. Elliot, Dickenson, Bob Dylan... All are great. I don't want to be afraid of "sell" my poetry cheaply. But maybe some people who are too honest like the woman I met would say to me "You are a kind of 'Daiso'". If so, it would be "sad" for me.

A Frog in the Pool

When I enjoyed Cocteau Twins whose songs kept me awake A friend found me and said "You're having a break?" I was disturbed. Was it just like a kind of God's sake? Should I listen to different bands like The Sea and Cake?

She said "You should hide your autism. You are fool" I could say that hiding my fact like that must be uncool Although this autism had caused a lot of troubles in the high school At that period, I had been treated like a frog in the school's pool

But why? Like this poem, I couldn't stay still in a class And I adore great poets who're used to do the reading in a mass My poems, meanwhile, vanishes in the end. All things must pass

Therefore I say that I'm not genius. I am simple I must treat the autism carefully, cause that would be a principle I'd like to treat my autism as my precious teenage pimple

#diary #english #journal

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andnowilovecats · 2 years

Text

2022/07/12

i think you can tell. i’m scared. i’m rly scared. i feel like college is going to be another nightmare of mine. i feel like my mom is going to put me in where ever that has the highest ranking. i feel like i don’t get my college life after i lost my childhood. i don’t think things are ever going to be in the way i want them to be in.

also i should stop reading love stories. those shit makes me wanna confess to ppl.

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hi. it’s 6:33pm. i’m still at stanford. i’m wondering. if this is the life i am speaking. i am still wondering. to finish a day of whatever simulation and then sit at the bench waiting for the bus. at the same time listening to songs. the sunlight is rly beautiful. stanford is a rly beautiful campus. idk. it think at this moment i am happy. just for this moment. my life is miserable and i am probably going to be yelled at cause i will be too late home. but i like it rn. ig.

i kinda like how science work. cause doing that ya dun need to keep asking yourself stuff. ya dun need to keep feeling stuff. it’s all about code and math. it’s better. (however i still hate coding and fixing computer.) i like the feeling when ya dun need to keep thinking about stuff that’s with no answer. but it’s just, so … step by step. so calm, (except when ya needa fix code, god i hate that thing.) and then when you are done ya get to prize yourself with a sort walk in the sun and between the trees listening to songs you like. tbh is life is kinda … casual. and i like it.

also i have this weird theory of dating a poet so we can pass poems to each other. talking about same sunset in different places. and they can dump me with some well written poem. and i can be sad while reading a bunch of poetries. that’s kinda cool lol.

6:48pm. i like what’s happening now. the bus is going through trees in stanford. this place is beautiful. and spotify just change to the song i love the most. things are going so good. i love this place. if she is my (0,0,0) then this is the (perfect,perfect,perfect) of my life. when x does not limited to perfect. cause then it will never becomes perfect. x is equal to perfect.

6:52pm. a kid is yelling. if my moms here she’s gonna be so mad. but i think he’s cute. i mean what’s more for then a baby right lol.

6:54pm. i’m still on the bus. the tran is at eleven. will i catch the train? dk.

6:55pm. did i mention that i leave all the group chats with my “friends”. idk why am i doing so. i’m just kinda tired of their thing. i am not interest with those topics. i think i just need time for myself. how ever i think they are moving away without me. kinda sad. but i think i dun wanna be with them rn.

6:57pm. oh i’m at the train station. gotta go. brb!

7:00pm. hi i’m back. sry i needa walk through the underpass. i’m kinda scared. palo auto isn’t the place with best safety so. i dun think i should text while walking under.

7:03pm. so back to the isolation thing. yeah i mostly separated myself from society. dun think my friend gets that though. at least sylvia dun. it’s pretty sad. l dun k if 01 understands. i think she will. idk she just … is okay with everything. i think she’s kinda aled? spurt of knows everything but never talks. but then sometimes if ya ask ( or force) in the right way. ya might be suppose with how much she knows. unlike me. i knows a lot of gossips i just dun bother put the puzzles together. she don’t, she just, somehow knows everything. idk. is she just too smart? anyways. she seems to not care and support whatever choice ppl make. a good friend but if she keep on not asking. ppl like me might start questioning if she cares or not.

7:09pm. train is here hang on.

7:10pm. hi. aww it’s my fav song again!

7:11pm. i’m on the train. why doesn’t i get hot girls pour her coffee over me on the train. i deserve hot girls :( instead i’m drinking coffee myself. v sad. why isn’t there hot-not-straight girls come and sit beside me. (probably bc i’m sitting at a single seat? oh did i mention caltrain has two levels!) i deserve hot girls :( not reading books 01 recommended anymore. ITS UNTRUE!

7:12pm. i like how the trees pass away and move backwards. (god there sure is a lot trees here in california.)

7:13pm. just saw the world palo auto at the train station. i’m sad. suddenly think about the life that i’ll never have. (cause uk … stanford … )

7:16pm. i wonder how the life of an american high school student will be like. … nvm i won’t even survive high school.

7:17pm. god why did this world like out going ppl. i hate talking and socializing is that a bad thing. i sad.

7:19pm. i hate life i wanna die. yes this is true i did think about this much shit in like 20 min. life is hard isn’t it. now i just generally wanna die. what’s happening. :(

7:20pm. i … am pretty sure i shouldn’t say this. but [text deleted].

7:21pm. San Carlos. beautiful city. been here with my mom once. … i have this place.

7:22pm. wanna be an artist so i get less sad. or at least i get to visualize my feelings. (hey i’m doing this rn. cool.)

7:23pm. so many graffito on the walls beside rail road. those are kinda cool. beautiful night not be the word. but it’s good being their. my mom said it’s bad and make the city looks worse. … why am i thinking about this she’s miles away from me … :(

7:25pm. no hot girls spotted. come on i’m leaving in 5 minute. 01 is lying. FAKE STORIES.

7:26pm. yes i’m looking for hot girls on the train all the time. what? judge me? humph

7:27pm. the train is at station. bye.

8:21pm. i missed train. i hate it here.

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hi. probably i’ve been felt too good today. it seems my life got even more miserable then before, and days before. i am not feeling good. actually it’s all falling apart in my mind. i can’t put things, thoughts together. this is bad. ig. i am not feeling strongly. i just felt ... apart. does that even means anything? idk. the only thing i can tell is that i dun belong here. this is bad. here is bad. do not like this. very sad.

also read too much english. something is wrong with my chinese. i can’t get the word i want just by instinct. like how i can do before. like for me one even have at least three different ways to describe. but now i can’t even think about one. well, if i am not counting the words that are not literature, but just random word to write that might make sense but doesn’t work that good.

what am i talking about. idk. i think i am having anxiety attack rn.

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11:34pm. i’m in bed. listening to songs. this singer is super gentle. i’m gonna cry. i love him.

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blushblushbear · 2 years

Note

ok but....... what about cole, poe and scale with a punk s/o............... yknow like dyed hair, piercings, tattoos, that hot stuff

Cole:

You are so different

in a world full of mindless and listless conformity, you allow yourself to be--- different

to stand out

you’ve turned your body into art

and that art is a statement

you care so deeply for those who are hurting

but you’re not going to be timid about it

in fact, you are right in people’s faces

with a power and a might you scream your causes with every aspect of your being

you are bold, you are divine

and he can’t get enough of it

you’re cut so different from the normal “pretty faces”

you choose divination

you choose loud

you choose passionate

occasionally, you choose to do so violently

at least, your peers do

with their screams of adolescent rage and grungy grimy sounds

and hey what can he say, opposites attract I suppose

in so many ways you’re different from how he is

other than that deep down your angry

you fascinate him

you’re like poetry as a living breathing being

also you’re very cool

he didn’t realize how much of a stuffy dork he must seem like until he met you but

yes

you’re cool

probably too cool for him

but you’re DEFINITELY too cool for anyone else, that’s for sure

so he must follow you like a moth to a flame

and also maybe brush up on some more in style bands

to impress you, of course

Poe:

loving how the two of you are covering all the edgy alternative lifestyle bases

also loving your piercings

ngl he learned the names of some new piercings from hanging out with you

he also loves how your tattoo’s have turned your body, not just into art, but a STATEMENT

loves how you embrace the different, is inspired by how you strive to be you

tbh you’re by far his biggest muse

his eyes have been opened

also really digging how dressed down and gritty punk can get

it’s like an bold statement, but also you get to wear jeans and a comfy band tee

honestly don’t be surprised if he walks in one day with a new piercing cause of you

also he’s def going to ask you for some tattoo artists’ numbers and your opinion on some designs

tbh he’s never really been all that interested other people’s opinions but he’s found himself desperate for your approval cause you are legit the coolest human being on planet earth to him

also you’ve greatly expanded his repertoire of punk bands and for that he is forever grateful

he’s also very behind the values of the punk movement

be gay, do crime, never let the system forget how broken it is

get in their face but in an artistic way

yeah

he’s crushing the hardest he ever has in his LIFE lmao

borrows your clothes, partly cause he loves your style but also for other more sentimental reasons

also might be dying his hair to match yours soon

he’s still not sure

he’s trying hard not to make it super obvious how much he simps for you but like

#1 simp bby, he can’t help it he’s too in love

Scale:

Legit thinks you’re the fucking coolest

You look like a rogue out of a fantasy game

Loves the spice

Loves the edge

You’re like a dagger but way prettier

You def look like you could kick some ass and he’s here for it

ngl at first the punk vibes caught him off guard since he first met you as a target for your piano recital

but honestly ADORES that y’all started off with you catching him off guard

reminds him to always keep on his feet

low key thinks you might be too cool for him but would never admit it

desperately wants you to think he’s cool too

you know when you get a crush on someone whose just--- they’re too cool! they’re so so cool. way cooler than you could hope to be. and you just feel like such a dork but not cause they make you feel like a dork, they’d never make people feel bad about themselves cause THEY’RE TOO DAMN COOL FOR THAT STUFF. yeah, that’s him with you.

looks up some punk bands to try and keep on your level

is very much into the progressive rebellion, fuck the establishment vibes you got going on

yeah man! tear this place down! fuck da police! lmao

but like--- only if you want to

only if you’d think that’s cool

haha cool

yeah

cool

we’re cool

*blushing nervous sweats*

WANNA SEE HIS DAGGER COLLECTION????

I might’ve taken too much into my own understanding of punk but... ye, here we go!

I would like to think I’m p punk myself, but a) depends on how you slice it and b) I DID make a huge post about dnd classes for the boys so like..... idk what that all says about me but probably something

either way, be gay, do crime, trans rights, black lives matter, fuck the police, listen to rock n roll lmao

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writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 3 years

Text

Prompt List #10 - Plus Size/Fat character

For the sake of this prompt list Character A is always plus size/fat. I mostly made this because I think we need more plus size reader inserts and character fics. For those who want to write them but aren’t sure of ideas, don’t know where to start I figured this might be worth while.

I’d love to see more people create plus size/fat character specific prompt lists tbh.

All my Prompt Lists

Character A is grabbed/physically assaulted as a joke/way of laughing at their body. Character B is the one person who steps in.

“I’m too heavy...baby…”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Character B digging their fingers into Character A’s hips, soft waist, stomach, sides etc. enjoying the tactile nature of their partner.

+ (You may like to add to this) Character A pulling away from Character B due to feeling self-conscious/uncomfortable with Character B touching those parts of them they’re usually admonished for.

Character A is forced into wearing something tighter than normal, maybe they haven’t had time to do their laundry and it’s the only thing they have left, or it’s a last minute formal event and the only dress they have is something they bought and never felt confident wearing. Character B is there to remind them every step of the way how lovely they are.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I find all of you attractive? That i’m not ignoring anything, not picking and choosing parts of you that I like and ignoring those that I dislike? That I like all of you?”

Character A walks past a mirror and feels unusually (or not) self-conscious, it puts a damper on their mood. Character B takes note and aims to correct this.

Victorian AU: Character A has spent their life being told they’re unmarriable, unlikely to find a spouse because of their size, that they don’t fit the mold. Character B has a few choice words for Character A’s parents and a proposal.

Victorian AU: Character B soothing the marks left on Character A’s skin from wearing an ill fitting corset in an attempt to conform to societal expectation. Lots of tender love and care.

Character A decides to wear a swimsuit to the beach/pool for the first time in years, they’re self-conscious but trying not to show it. Character B is just there hyping Character A up, showering them in love and appreciation because damn!

Character A is confident, feeling it, has worked so hard on their body confidence. Character B isn’t quite there yet with their own. Character A is here to remind Character B that they are wonderful, lovely, deserve to feel confident and good in their body.

Character B is proudly showing off their partner Character A, not afraid to show everyone how much they love them.

(You could add this) Character B is asked why they’d even be with Character A, derogatory comments are made about Character A’s size. Character B is not having it. This is their baby and they love them.

“I don’t want you to hide from me. I don’t want you to feel like you have to, ever.”

“I love you for you, for all of you. I don’t think you’d be pretty if you were smaller, I don’t think you’d look better if you lost a few pounds. You’re all I want and all I need, just as you are.”

Character B takes comfort in just cuddling with Character A. In resting their head against Character A’s soft stomach, wrapping their arms around their waist/hips.

Character A has begun distancing themselves from Character B as their insecurities take over and they worry Character B is bored of them or no longer attracted to them. Character B is determined to set the record straight

“I’m not asking you to compete with anyone, you don’t need to. You’re the best person for me, the only person for me. I think you’re the most beautiful/handsome/attractive/etc. Person i’ve ever met. I don’t want them. I don’t want anybody else.”

Soft kisses to the soft rolls of a soft stomach

Soft kisses to the soft dips and curves of hips and love handles

“I love your double chin. I love your round cheeks. I love you. I love how your cheeks dimple when you laugh.”

Kisses to stretch marks, trailing fingers over the marks in Character A’s skin.

“You’re so soft.”

Character B is kind of obsessed with Character A’s butt

Soulmate AU: It’s terrifying having a soulmate, growing up to believe that they’ll reject you, that your body will disgust them. Character A is petrified of meeting their soulmate, scared they’ll be rejected, that they won’t be attractive enough. The moment they meet Character B those fears are washed away.

“I love your stomach, have I ever told you that?”

Character A gets dressed up for the first time, Character B is a little bit starstruck

Character A takes Character B with them to go clothes shopping. Character B is having the time of their life seeing all the different outfits.

Alternatively, Character A can’t find anything that fits right/they feel good in and is getting really down. Character be is here to save the day and change their perception.

1980s/70s/60s/90s AU: Character A (fem. presenting) works in a male dominated office, she is constantly dealing with the day to day sexist comments added to that are the comments about their body/shape/size. Character B usually works out of office, but for the first time they’re in house long enough to notice. They decide to put a stop to it.

Mob/Mafia AU: Character A isn’t what people expect a mob boss's favourite gal/guy/person to be like, too sweet, too soft, too big. But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re the favourite and no one can say a bad word about them.

Character A has been in past abusive relationships where they’re shamed for what they eat. Character B is here to make sure they eat what they want and don’t feel bad about it, they refuse to let Character A fall into self-destructive patterns.

Character A is soft, sweet, runs a bakery, (massively cliché i know), character B is rough around the edges but melts around character A.

“I’m not like other girls/guys/people you’ve dated. I...look at me? I don’t look anything like them. How can you...I don’t...I don’t understand why you’d want to date me?”

“I’m not your type.” “Who says?”

Character A poses for Character B nude for a life drawing session

Character B is always drawing character A in their sketchbook when they’re not looking. Character A finds the sketches.

Character B tries to write poetry about Character A, it’s bad, but it’s also sweet.

“I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be hidden away like some sort of dirty little secret. I can’t… I won’t.”

#plus size #plus size reader #fat reader #writing prompt #writing prompts #prompt list #prompt lists #writing prompt list #writing prompt lists

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 2 years

Note

Is it weird for us bi women to have interest in historical lesbian women ( or even fictional lesbians characters ) ? When I see a sapphic women historical character/fictional character it dose not matter to me if she’s a lesbian or a bisexual I can still sometimes have interest because I can relate to both of them, however I’ve seen a post from bisexual blog about Sappho that she might’ve been bisexual and I saw angry lesbian comments they are saying that bisexuals are trying to claim Sappho again ..

Tbh I don’t know or care too much about her label since as far as I know they didn’t have these labels in her days but somehow I started to feel like I am shoving myself into lesbian things so I was worried if I am being offensive, not sure if it’s me over thinking about nonsense again or if I am making sense.

It's not weird and anyone who says that bi women aren't allowed to be interested in "lesbian" history is either very ignorant about that history or purposefully biphobic. Because for a long time the term "lesbian" just referred to any woman who had sex with women, regardless of whether she was also attracted to men or had sex with men.

To put it simply: "lesbian" history is the history of bisexual women as well. Up until lesbian seperatism pushed bi women out of the label and community we were all considered "lesbians". A lot of historical "lesbians" might very well have been bisexual by today's definitions. But as you also rightfully said: a lot of today's labels and definitions didn't always exist, or words have changed over time. So it really isn't very sensible or helpful to label a historical figure with a label as it is used today.

As for Sappho: she wrote romantic and erotic poetry both about men and women. Some lesbians today are claiming that her texts about men were written out of "compulsory heterosexuality" but that's really unscientific bollocks, because again they apply a modern term (created by a transmysogynist) to someone who lived in a time and a place with completely different understandings of sexuality and gender than we have today. All we know is that Sappho wrote about women and about men, but we can never know 100% if or how she was attracted to them, and we cannot ask her what label she would choose today. From a literary analysis point of view it makes just as much sense to interprete her writings as bisexual as it makes sense to interprete them in an exclusively lesbian way.

And by the way: the word "sapphic" was made popular in an attempt to re-unify lesbians and bi women, to highlight our shared experiences and be stronger together as a larger community. It is very telling that some people are trying to, once again, claim that "sapphic" is only for lesbians or that bi women are somehow "less sapphic than lesbians", when the whole purpose of having that word was to say we are all united in our attraction towards women, regardless of whether or not we have attraction for other genders as well. Basically, people who say bi women cannot relate to Sappho or by extension cannot use "sapphic" are just trying to pull a lesbian sepratism 2.0 and it sucks!

Maddie

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yuyupowers · 3 years

Text

aristocrat!seonghwa

aristocrat!seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

trigger warning(s): patriarchal society mostly. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: none of the pictures are mine!!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

second son of a duke

i imagine seonghwa to be someone who values tradition

unlike hongjoong who finds who finds the numerous aristocratic mannerisms pointless, hwa believes upholding these (rather stringent) rules is a sign of respect

perfect gentleman pt.1

excellent in swordsmanship, horse-back riding, and hunting

well versed in poetry, literature, art, and finance

(can maintain a conversation about politics but honestly it kinda goes over his head)

a bit on the shyer side, but a decent conversationalist

good at keeping the flow and mediating in case anyone becomes a little too heated about their opinions

definitely cares about his and his family’s image

naturally caring and tends to dote on those close to him

(translates into excellent manners)

holds the door open, offers his hand when stepping out of carriages, makes sure to walk on the side closest to traffic, diverts conversation when things are too “distressing,” wouldn’t be caught dead alone with a woman that wasn’t related to him or his fiancée/wife

and surprise, surprise !!

this is where you come in

you’re the second oldest daughter, fourth child out of six; born to an earl

hwa’s family had the highest title bestowed upon aristocracy

whereas your family accumulated more wealth and land than the park family

and since both you and hwa were prime marrying age™, your parents decided upon a mutually beneficial marriage

the first time you met seonghwa was under the watchful eye of both your parents, when the park’s invited your family for dinner

tbh, you were pretty relieved when you met him

“prime marrying age” was different for men, so you were just glad he wasn’t some old geezer

and he seemed like a decent person !!

a well put together gentleman, and his image was only consolidated throughout dinner

all in all, you didn’t have much to complain about from the initial impression

though it was kinda annoying when your little sister would not shut up about how he was the handsome man she’s ever met

even if you agreed

and didn’t she say that when she met woo?

anyways

after the first meeting with the park’s, both your parents set up multiple occasions for you two to meet

whether that be evening walks, picnics in the park, etc,,,

you learned a great deal about seonghwa

how his favourite is black, how he loved the stars and that his favourite planet was mars

how he loved kids and doted on your youngest siblings (much to your sister’s glee)

how he enjoyed spending a quiet afternoon with you reading dickens, discussing afterwards the contrast between carton and darnay

how he was always considerate of your feelings and opinions

you liked to think you were a decent judge of character and thought overall that seonghwa was a kind and caring person

but you also noticed a few characteristics that-

you wouldn’t say it was off-putting or anything but,,,

it might bother you in the future

see, you were pretty good friends with hongjoong

and while you weren’t as extreme,

(you didn’t sneak out weekly to hang out with a bar maiden that you definitely did not have a crush on)

you certainly agreed with him on certain points

like hwa, you thought that abiding by certain mannerisms = display of respect

but unlike him, you didn’t care all that much about your image

okay, that was a lie.

you couldn’t say you didn’t care about your image

(social ostracization isn’t exactly fun ya feel)

but you thought it was,,,exhausting

it’s one thing to be respectful, but it’s another thing to say things you don’t mean

to fake humility

to undermine people that are supposed to be your “friends” or “one of you”

to be perfect, when “perfect” was such a subjective term anyways

it just felt so fake and that left a bitter taste in your mouth

even now, you could see all the efforts seonghwa made to constantly keep his image of a “perfect gentleman”

with perfect mannerisms and perfect answers and perfect-

yeah, it kinda frustrated you

not to mention how obedient he was?

of course you didn’t fault him for being a dutiful and filial son, but his loyalty blinded him

and it wasn’t like his parents were bad people !!

no, you’d say they were much kinder than the average noble family

especially considering their status

but when they made important decisions for their son without consulting him,

(because they were more experienced, because they knew better, etc,,,)

and he accepted whatever decision they handed to him?

well,,,

nevertheless, despite being his fiancée, you, by this point, had realistically had known seonghwa for a couple months

and you didn’t feel like it was your place

(at least not yet)

to point this out

so the two of you continued your cordial but emotionally distant meetings

that is until “the incident” (as hwa fondly likes to call it)

okay, so-

one day you paid hwa a visit and the two of you decided to take a walk in his family’s garden

chattering about this and that

a lovely time !!

it was a bit overcast, but it didn’t look too threatening

so the two of you ignored the clouds looming in the horizon and wandered deep into the garden

big mistake

the weather took a turn for the worst, and soon it was pouring

by this point seonghwa was a little panicked

he knew that for women, getting ready could be excessively long and tenuous task

(courtesy of his little sister’s complaints)

and now !! you were getting rained on !! because he didn’t bring an umbrella !! just in case !!

!!!!

he turns to you, ready to shield you with his jacket and lead you back to the manor

but he’s at a loss by what he sees

he had expected you to be upset, to huddle closer to him, to,,,idk, maybe reprimand him for this thoughtlessness??

but instead, he finds you staring up at the dark sky, eyes shimmering with barely contained glee with the biggest smile he’s ever seen from you adorning your lips

he likes your smile

and if he was already confused (he was), he was about to become even more so

because the next thing he knows, you’re hiking your dress in one hand and grabbing his in the other, running through puddles of water and mud and everything in between, laughter falling from you like the rain

up until this point, you had been acting like the perfect (you hate that word) lady

polite, demure, charming-

in public settings, you only spoke when spoken to, with a voice that was purposely soft and soothing

you chatted with his mother and sisters about traditionally feminine things over tea with impeccable manners

whenever you two met, you were always prim and proper; never a strand of hair out of place

but here you were, getting not only yours but his clothes soggy and muddy, laughing without a care about how pleasant it sounded or how loud it was

seonghwa liked to think he wasn’t a judgemental person-

he wasn’t repulsed or anything by your sudden change in demeanor

just.

really confused

and when you looked back, you could tell,if his expression was anything to go by

but your grin only grew wider, because you could work with this

he wasn’t enjoying himself per say; a bit too confused and bit too stiff to do so

but he wasn’t horrified or disgusted

okay maybe he was a little grossed out; he liked to be clean thank you very much

you could work with this.

and so over the next few months, you showed him things he never dreamed of doing

some of which he liked, some of which he didn’t

some he was willing to try, some, less

like sneaking into the restricted section of the library (he’s never been so scandalized in his life)

or visiting the kitchen in the middle of the night so you could teach him how to make some basic recipes (which he surprisingly enjoyed)

or meeting hongjoong

(“of COURSE it matters if they got the colour wrong?! lord help me you’re the most insufferable person i’ve ever met-”)

and the more the two of you explored, the more he,,,real he became.

and vice versa.

gradually, the mask of perfection he worked so on hard to maintain was slipping before you

don’t get me wrong, he’s still kind and caring and a gentleman

but sometimes he would whine and complain when you encouraged him to do something he was less than enthusiastic about (usually something that involved getting him messy)

or he made The Face™ (the disgusted one) to you and when he didn’t like something or someone

or he would be stupidly stubborn about some random fact that you KNEW was wrong but he just WOULDN’T admit if even when you showed him proof

(“seonghwa for the last time toads don’t give you war-” “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” “eye-”)

once, he even playfully stole the strawberry from your cake

(big mistake. he’s never doing that again. he never knew a woman could move so fast or be so scary.)

it made you so, so happy because the two of you were finally getting to know each other

actually know each other

then one day, while the two of you were reading underneath a tree at the park

“,,,hey love?” (hwa)

“yes?”

“why are we doing this?”

“what do you mean, dear?”

“i mean,,,i’m not complaining, but i guess,,,why did you decide to show me this part of you? the part that runs around in the rain?” hwa

you don’t reply right away

instead, you shut your book and idly stared at the willow swaying over the pond, wind running its fingers through its drooping leaves

after a few moments of silence

“,,,i wanted to know you and what you believed in. actually believed in.”

seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side

“love, i hardly think my convictions have changed”

“but do you know what your convictions are?”

and you know when you hear something that resonates with you?

something that strikes deep in your core and makes you rethink everything you’ve know?

yeah,,,this is one of those moments

now it was seonghwa’s turn to set his book aside, falling deep in thought

after an unnaturally long stretch of silence, you began to panic a little

because ?? maybe you misread the situation and got a little too comfortable-

cause i mean you were questioning his core values, which is something he takes very seriously

o god you messed up didn’t you o crap you need to apolog-

“will you help me figure it out?”

“,,,huh??”

“will you help me figure out my convictions?” he asked

and you swear, you’ve never seen such a smile from seonghwa

one that conveyed a plethora of emotions, ranging from honesty and vulnerability, to confusion and loss, to lightness and warmth

it filled you with an unnameable feeling

like something sliding into place, fitting perfectly; like it was always meant to be there, filling you with comfort

shyly intertwining your hands for the first time, you looked up to meet his gaze with a pattering heart and a smile matching his own

“,,,of course.”

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asexualbuthorny · 3 years

Text

Hey I'm back at it again with uncalled for and unwanted opinions on fictional characters. This might be long and entirely just word womit but this my blog and I do what I want.

The fandom I chose to desecrate today is Twisted Wonderland. Let's begin!

Heartslabyul:

Riddle Rosehearts. Love the boy. He a little too strict for me tho. Livin by the rules feels kinda like living on a schedule and I don't vibe with that. Baby has issues. He needs therapy more than he needs a relationship(simps sit down). Would not date him. Good friend material. He just needs to relax a little.

Trey Clover. He's the brother I never had and the father I wish I had. I bet he gives top tier hugs. Would go to him for advice. Would not date him 'cause he's dad. Want him to adopt me. Lovely boy. Very responsible and sensible. Trust him without doubt (daddy kink havers dni /j).

Cater Diamond. Suspishis. I don't know what he's thinking. Cannot trust. Good boy nevertheless. Probably has some issues. Im not a fan of social media so Im not with the whole magicam thing or whatever. Very pretty. Deserves more love. And hugs. Would not date. Good friend material pt.2

Ace Trapolla. More like crappola. Stinky bastard man. If I was there he wouldn't have kneecaps. Would throw hands. Annoying. Needs to get beaten up and put in his place. If he said shit to me I would throw his ass out a window. Would not date. Hardly a friend.

Deuce Spade. Wonderful boy. Sweet angel. Love him. Best boy! Best boy! Best boy! Has my heart. Would trust him. He may be dumbass but I vibe with him. A personal favourite. Would date. Would marry. We could raise chicks together. Dream boy. My heart is filled with love when I think of him. 10/10. A good friend and a potential lover.

Savanaclaw:

Leona Kingscholar. DISGUSTANG. STINKY. AWFUL BASTARD MAN. Leona simps get help. This man smells like pee. Lazy. Can't do shit by himself. I don't know if he's aware but if he wasn't royalty nobody and I mean NOBODY would deal with his shit. And his attitude like cool you can always fail and get held back 'cause you have daddys money and can go back home and live with your parents your whole life but not everybody has that kind of priviledge. That kind of ungratefulness just make my brain angry. Would not date. Not a friend. Would not deal with his shit. Throw hands on sight.

Ruggie Bucchi. Sneaky. Needs money. I understand Im broke too. Don't have much to say about him. Doesn't occupy much space in my head. Would not date. Hard to trust. May be a friend. He would probably rob me. Disrespectfuly.

Jack Howl. Good boy. Deserves the best. Very responsible and has a good sense of justice. A little too serious. Calm down. Tsundere. Want to pet them ears tho. Another best boy! We can all agree that he's a favourite among the fans. Would not date. Very good friend.

Octavinelle:

Azul Ashengrotto. Shady. Not trustworthy. Responsible. He runs a restaurant while being a top student. I can respect that. Very smart. Insecure. Don't worry bb we all been there. I like him. But he's still bastard. But like less. Idk. Would date but barely. Maybe a friend. Again barely.

Floyd Leech. Crazy mf. His simps are masochists I don't take critisism. He would fold us all like lawnchairs. Don't think about him much. Not my cup of man. I like his voice tho. Kinda cute. Can't trust tho. Would not date. Friend but very carefuly.

Jade Leech. Scary. This man knows things. Sells your secrets on the black market. Polite. Dangerous. Not much to say abt him. His simps rub me the wrong way. Would not date. A person I know from school but not a friend.

Scarabia:

Kalim Al Asim. Very friendly. Sunshine boy. Lively child. Very naive. I would fool him for the lols. Give him many hugs. I don't like parties so we wouldn't vibe on that. He could teach me new games. Rich boy. Probably buys his friends expensive shit and thinks it's a small present. Could date. Makes a better friend tho. Take me on a magic carpet ride pls.

Jamil Viper. Sneaky pt.2. Can't trust after the shit he pulled. Can forgive but not forget. He's a lot smarter than he looks. Even if already looks smart. Can cook so that's a plus. Big respect to people that can cook. He would fool me for the lols. I would fall for it every time. He knows things. Sells your secrets pt.2. He wants to break free. Would not date. Friend but very very carefuly.

Pomefiore:

Vil Schoenheit. We would not get along. Im very live and let live and he sticks his nose in other people buisiness. I don't care how I look and he's very aesthetic oriented. He would call me ugly. I would call him a bitch. We would throw hands on sight. Argue every day. I would hide and defend Epel from him and his bullshit. He's dedicaded to his thing and has a succsesful career so I can respect that. But he still a bitch.

Rook Hunt. Don't trust him. He's french. Creepy. Poor beastpeople tbh. Can't say much about him. I bet he writes superb poetry tho. 10/10 would listen. Would compliment me. Don't know if genuine. Would not date. Decent friend tho.

Epel Felmier. Arson buddies. Commit crimes together. Call Vil a bitch toghether. He wants to be buff and I can get behind that. He could beat my ass and I would let him. He's kinda like a little brother who you teach how to get away with murder. We would beat everones ass. Good boy. Best friend. Would not date. We would rule the school.

Ignyhide:

Idia Shroud. I could beat his ass. Wouldn't tho. Not worth it. Incel. Gets zero pussy. Probably stinky. Would still try to befriend. Bully him lovingly. Gatekeeper. Anxiety. Me too tbh. Not much to sqy about him. Roast marshmellows on his head. Would not date. Could be a friend.

Ortho Shroud. A child. We could be friends. I would teach him swearwords. Good boy. Don't know much about him. Friend material.

Diasomnia:

Sebek Zigvolt. Why he so damn loud? Like calm down boy. Still very good and dedicaded. Could not be in relationship 'cause he has other things on his plate. Tries to be responsible. Still a disaster dumbass. Love the boy. Would not date. Good friend.

Silver. Don't know much about him. Like what are you hiding sleepyheadass? Seems like a nice good boy. We could take hella naps together. Would not date. Befriend him.

Lilia Vanrouge. Dad/grandpa vibes. Would take care of me while Im sick. I would get poisoned by his cooking. HE GIVES THE BEST HUGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. Father I wish I had pt.2. Trickster. Would tease me. I still love him. Welcom to the fam. Would not date because him grandpa.

Malleus Draconia. THIS MAN. Im looking respectfuly. Gorgeus. Beautiful. Stunning. My husband. Give him love and hugs and kisses. I would marry this man. My sunshine my starlight. Im such a simp for him. Who wouldn't want a cool dragon husband. He owns my heart and my ass. 100000000/10. Would die for him. Bestest boy. My love please come to me.

Wwwaaaa this was long. I might post something strictly about relationships if I feel anything again some time soon.

#twst #Twisted wonderland #heartslabyul #savanaclaw #octavinelle #pomefiore #ignyhide #diasomnia #Im too lazy to tag all the characters so ya get what ya get #my post

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